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lucky-peoqle · 4 years

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unwanted guests | d.m.

pairings: draco malfoy x hufflepuff!reader, somewhat platonic!weasley twins (fred is pretty flirty😁)x hufflepuff!reader, platonic!cedric diggory x reader, and platonic!zacharias smith x reader.

summary: y/n the hufflepuff american student promised her housemates, cedric and zacharias, that she would watch them practice for their next match, she was accompanied by the infamous gryffindors, the weasley twins. as watching her house, she starts hearing whooping and hollering, she soon gets annoyed with the group of slytherins and confronts them.

warnings: some swearing, blood, pansy bodyshames reader

a/n: hello, ive bee super busy with school !! im currently obsessed with hp again :) hope u all enjoy this,, its a bit longer than usual. this is set during goblet of fire !! :) very unedited and kinda rushed :/ sorry

the temperature was pretty cold on this particular fall day, as the y/h/c hufflepuff sat outside, writing in a journal she kept, looking up to answer her housemate and one of her best friend, cedric diggory's questions.

"so, will you come? zacharias thought it would be a good idea," he said, motioning to the blonde hufflepuff boy who was watching from afar.

"hm? oh, uh, sure! if it makes you two happy," she looked up from her journal, smiling at the brunette, then the blonde.

"great! i'll tell him when we get to lunch."

and with that, the bell rang, making the other people outside with you get up and head inside to the great hall.

the two of you got up, and started making your way to the great hall, colored robes passing you by. "did you ever open up the golden dragon egg?" you said, looking up at him.

"yeah! that reminds me, i have to tell harry about that. thanks," he smiled.

you smiled back, "potter? you're telling him how to open it?"

"why not, y'know. it's the least i could do," he shrugged.

"that's so sweet! i'm glad you two are getting along."

by now you were in the great hall, walking past the gryffindor table to your table, making eye contact with the golden trio and weasley twins as you passed by with your best friend.

you were in the same year as the golden trio, meeting them the first day on the train, them finding you american accent amusing, but they got use to it pretty fast. then they introduced you to ron's twin brothers, fred and george, they were drawn to you instantly, poking fun of your accent from time to time.

last but not least, you met cedric. you met cedric in the common room your second day of hogwarts. you had drifted to sleep, one of you housemates cats curled on your lap, and cedric had woken you, helping you back to bed. ever since then you had been best friends ever since.

you took your sear next to cedric, zacharias smith, another close friend of yours, sat across from the two of you.

"zach! good news, y/n is coming to watch us practice tomorrow," the brunette smiled brightly.

"great! i can't wait to show off to you, maybe it'll make you fall for me instead of that weasley twin," he said jokingly.

"who? fred?" she chuckled, "zach, you're kidding right? freddies just a friend. sure we flirt, but that's what friends do, right?"

"you have a weird interpretation of friendship y/n/n," zach stifled a laugh.

you rolled your eyes, turning your head towards cedric, who was looking at the ravenclaw table, that was standing next to your table. you followed his eyesight that was met with cho chang.

"ced is making googly eyes at his girlfriend again," you laugh, making him turn his attention to you.

"so what? don't act like i didn't see you smiling at fred weasley."

"i smiled at all of them! fred and i don't have feelings for each other," she huffed.

"suree," zacharias said in a sing song voice.

you shook your head, poking your food around your plate, looking across the ravenclaw table to the slytherin table. you saw draco malfoy joking with his friends, his cold grey eyes drifting to meet your warm y/e/c ones. his eyes grew colder once they finally met yours. you softly smiled at him and his eyes grew softer, and he quickly turned his attention back to his group of friends.

'huh, weird,' you thought, turning your attention back to cedric and zacharias.

the day quickly passed, ending like it always does. going into the hufflepuff common room, it being filled with muggle and non-muggle type plants, the warm fireplace going. you made your way up to your dorm you shared with hannah abbott. changing out of your robs and falling asleep quickly.

you woke up, the warm fall sun peeking through the window of your dorm. you looked over at hannah, who had been awake but reading, it was still a bit early so breakfast wouldn't be ready yet. it was saturday after all, so no need to worry about classes.

"morning," you mumbled tiredly to hannah.

"good morning!" she put her book down, "i came back late last night from study with ernie and you were out like a light!"

"yeah, last night was kinda of tiring," you chuckled, sitting up, "why are you up so early anyway?"

"i thought we could go down to the great hall together, we've been so busy and rarely get to talk, why not catch up on our way down there yeah?"

"sure! that sounds lovely," you smile, getting up from your bed.

the two of you got ready for the day, putting on your hufflepuff robes, and made your way down to the common room. only a few people were sat in the common room, a few waving and bidding you good morning as you passed by.

you two walked out of the common room and head up to the great hall. "so how have you been?" hannah asked beside you.

"i've been well! busy with getting cedric through the tournament, y'know..."

"yeah, that must be though."

"it isn't actually! im extremely proud of him, i know he'll win this."

"i really hope he does! finally a hufflepuff getting the recognition they deserve," hannah smiled.

"newt scamander is pretty cool," you smiled, "i take great pride in being as the same house as him."

hannah shrugged, "yeah, very interesting man, he is. isn't loony lovegood related to him?"

"don't call her that, she's very nice. but, i believe so, in some way."

by now, you're in the great hall, making your to your table. you continue to chat till hannah departs from you to sit with susan bones and leanne, who were chatting amongst themselves.

you quickly find cedric, who was chatting with justin finch-fletchley. you sat next to him and started putting food on your plate. he heard you and turned your attention on you.

"good morning y/n/n," he smiled brightly.

"good morning ced, how're you?"

"great! excited for practice today."

you two chatted for the rest of breakfast, by the end of it, you were stuffed. you looked at the slytherin table, remembering the look draco malfoy gave you. you spotted him, he was talking to crabbe, goyle, and pansy, laughing, smiling, he looked happy.

draco turned his head to answer someone's question, while doing so, he caught you staring. you blushed brightly, hesitating before giving you a smile. he returned the gesture with one of his iconic smug smirks.

you looked away, turning your attention to cedric, "practice starts soon, i should get ready. see you out there?"

you nodded with a smile, and he smiled back, getting up and leaving the great hall.

you got up after a bit of thinking, and made your way to your common room to grab your journal and scarf, since it would be chilly out.

once you did so, you made your way back up the stairs, going through corridor to corridor.

you were walking in peaceful silence, until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist, and lift you up, spinning you around.

you let out a laugh as the two head headed boys laughed loudly, "fred weasley! put me down!"

"what's the magic word?"

"please!"

"no, but close enough," he said, dropping you, making you land on your butt.

"ouch! fred! george! what were you thinking?"

"we weren't! so what are you up to?" george chuckled.

"i'm going to watch cedric and zacharias practice," you smile, "wanna come? i wouldn't mind the company."

"sure!" the boys said together.

you're little group of three walked to the quidditch posts, your yellow and black scarf clashing with their red and yellow ones. fred had thrown an arm around you shoulder.

you sat down in the middle of the twins, fred's arm sitting around you. you were right, it was chilly, but it was nice. this was your favorite time of year.

you watched as cedric and zacharias flew around, catching the ball or passing it to another teammate. zacharias caught sight of you, and winked, motioning to the arm around your shoulder. you just stuck your tounge out in response.

the time you spent was fun, until a certain group of slytherins decided to crash the practice. you rolled your eyes as the began to yell and laugh at them, distracting the players.

"ignore them," george said, "they have no brains, nor can they play fair."

you chuckled at that, "you're right on that one."

the four slytherins were still yelling, it was very annoying. fred and george reassuring you to leave them alone and they'll get bored and leave soon.

you kept your temper, watching your house practice. it was going fine, until draco yelled something towards cedric that made your best friend look at him, the ball hitting him right in the face, knocking cedric off his broom.

you gasp as you got up quickly, looking over the railing, watching cedric get up from his spot on the ground, wiping his now bloodied nose.

you turn to malfoy, who was staring in disbelief, but always laughing. pansy parkinson was shrieking out laughter, it hurt your ears. you walk up to the four, george and fred calling out to you to stop.

"hey!"

the four turned towards you, laughing still.

"what do you want, l/n?" draco asked.

"you ass! cedric could have gotten hurt! he's never done anything to you! you distracted him on purpose so that you wouldn't have to face loosing to him in our next quidditch match against slytherin!"

"and so what? it's not like you can stop us from coming up here during their practice," pansy laughed. "you're just a pathetic little hufflepuff, well i wouldn't say little... your robes make you look fat."

you took a step back, you had always been insecure about your weight and body image. you began to tear up. george and fred too far away to hear what was going on. you opened your mouth to defend yourself, but nothing came out except a small squeak.

pansy, crabbe, and goyle all let out shrieks of laughter. you couldn't let them see you cry, so you ran. you heard shouting behind you. draco yelling something, and the twins shouting after you, following you.

you had lost them though, finding yourself in moaning myrtles bathroom. you said down the wall, letting out sob after sob. you sat there crying for a while, until you heard someone come in.

"leave me alone, you're unwanted here." you choke out, looking away from them.

"sorry about what pansy said back there, i told her since the start of third year, you were off limits."

you turn around, seeing the platinum blonde slytherin. "off limits?"

"from us bullying you, she's been jealous of you since."

"jealous? of me? what are you talking about?"

draco took a seat next to you, "i've fancied you for a while, just never had the courage to tell you. i thought you liked one of the weasley twins honestly."

you shook you head, "or were you just too ashamed to tell me since im a pathetic hufflepuff?" you sniffed.

"what? no, no! that's not it, i was just scared. I didn't want to be rejected, i guess."

"the thing back there with cedric, you're an ass for that."

"i know, i didn't mean for him to get knocked off his broom, i deserved to get yelled at."

you sat in comfortable silence for a while, not knowing what to say. pansy's words making their way back into your thoughts.

"pansy was right."

draco laughed, "about?"

"me being fat, my robes look horrible on me."

"don't say that! y/n, you're on of the most beautiful people i've ever seen walk this earth," draco said looking over at you.

"why the sudden urge to tell me about your feelings?"

"because it felt right... like yesterday and this morning, you smiled at me and it felt like it was time," he sighed.

you smiled over at him, and grabbed his hand. he intertwined your fingers and smiled back. he began to lean in, until his lips met yours, fireworks going off. you pulled away, your face bright read.

"who would of thought, me, draco malfoy, slytherin prince, dating a hufflepuff..."

"the world works in crazy ways," you smile, "i'm glad you came looking for me."

"so am i, y/n, so am i."

end.

#draco malfoy x reader #draco fanfiction #draco imagine #draco malfoy #fred wealsey #george wealsey x reader #fred weasley x reader #draco malfoy x hufflepuff!reader #weasley twins #george weasley #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #cedric diggory #cedric diggory x reader #harry potter x reader #draco malfoy imagine #weasley twins x hufflepuff!reader #fred weasley x hufflepuff!reader

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randomoranges · 3 years

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good god almighty. here is part 4. somehow longer than the other parts. somehow with more Emotions. i decided to not be vague and call the spades spades. this one is more nsfw because of things étienne mentions.

again, minor character death and lots of introspection ha ha .

ive been working on the beast for like almost a month now. part 5 aint even done. im so glad i hacked it up in the end.

PART IV

“The 60s were good with that – for forgetting and moving on. There was – or seemed to be this renewed sense of freedom, as if the people were finding their true purpose in the city. A great big curtain was being pulled back and we were given the opportunity to redefine ourselves. It felt like hope, in a way and with the distance put with the church, I felt I could breathe a little more and I was able to find myself. By the time Expo rolled around, it gave me purpose – something to do. The energy in the city was astounding. The projects people were coming up with – the possibilities they were unveiling – I had never felt something like that. I thought for sure this energy would see us through the next one hundred years; we’d be feeding off of it and returning to it for years to come. It would be our source of creation. Everyone seemed to be excited; the world was literally in our backyard and it felt good to bask in the attention.”

It made sense for Étienne to have Expo, considering how good he was at catering to others – at giving them the good time they wanted. He thrived in giant crowds and lived for the attention. Plus, at the time, Montreal really did feel as though it was the center of Canada. It still felt like an other-worldly experience and there were still times when Edward wasn’t convinced Expo hadn’t been one massive hallucination. And he’d only been a small part of it, unlike Étienne who had lived every stage of it.

“With the change of decade, going into the 70s, I expected much of the same – moving forward, the endless possibilities of the future and such. For the first time in a long time, I was actually looking forward to having more time – to being immortal and being able to experience every change. To make new connections. Expand and broaden the horizons and such.”

“And then it all went to shit, starting with the October crisis. There was a lot that happened in the 70’s and not everything was bad, but for me, personally, it was a series of euphoric highs and devastating lows. In the same breath of the Crisis there would be a Cup win, then there was the Exodus, the language debacles and it never seemed to end. Up and down and up and down. One giant roller coaster that never gave me a chance to catch my breath. It was hard to feel anything let alone make it constant. It took a toll – added up and left me reeling in ways I had never thought possible. I couldn’t finish celebrating the Cup that I would get notified that something terrible had just happened. I would be relishing in disco and there’d be a murder. It was too fucking much. I couldn’t take it anymore. Everything I had worked so hard to build was slowly being torn from my hands and what was left didn’t seem to matter enough. The proverbial carpet had been yanked from under my feet and no matter how many times I tried to get up, I just kept falling and falling and falling... there was no end in sight.”

Their correspondence at that time had petered off, somewhat. They’d both ended up in unpleasant situations and the last thing Edward had wanted to do was to take a pen and write to his friend to let him know how miserable he was. There’d been times when he’d wondered if his friend hadn’t found out about his fate and had left him for dead as well and it had only been later – much later – that he’d found out through Étienne exactly why he hadn’t written as often, if at all, for a few years.

“I’m not exactly proud of what I ended up doing, but it seemed like the right solution at the time. I was a mess. I needed help but I didn’t realise it and I wasn’t sure there even was such help for such a lost cause. Working the streets and the clubs were as much self-punishment as they were the only place I felt I could succeed. It was easy to spread my legs to let some random guy fuck me in an alley. It was easy to pretend to be someone else. It was easy to get down on my knees and suck them off. It was easy to let others use me as they wanted and write it off as being unworthy of anything else. This was where I belonged – with the outcasts and the has beens.”

There’s a shuddering breath that’s released and Edward has no idea if it’s his or Étienne’s. He’s astounded his boyfriend is willingly talking of this chapter of his life. It had taken years for Étienne to even speak of it to him and the confession had been a quiet halting thing that had taken him a while to piece together.

Yet, despite finding out, it hadn’t changed Edward’s opinion of him. If anything, he had found Étienne brave and courageous for telling him about it and his heart had ached for him even more. Étienne was worthy. Étienne wasn’t a failure and he succeeded at so many other wonderful things. In his opinion, he was still as relevant as before and had never been an outcast or a has been. He was still a leader and trail blazer in his own right, even if Étienne himself didn’t always realise it.

“When they gave me the Olympics,” Étienne goes on, once more showing that he is brave and more than the terrible things that he had gone through, “I hoped this would be the shot I needed – that it would be as wonderful as Expo had. If anything, it would be on a smaller scale than Expo. It would be a piece of cake, I figured. At least, they’d given me the Olympics in a timely way and not last minute. Therefore, there would be no excuses to fail. but for as much as Expo felt like a fever dream doused with magic, the Olympics were harder to get going. There were so many things that went wrong. So many strikes. So much corruption. The magic was gone. It was the opposite of what I needed and it just drove me further down my own spiral.

“So I went for the drugs and the sex. One made me feel when I was numb, one numbed everything when I felt too much. And the sex was as much a means to an end as what seemed to be the only thing I could properly deliver. So I stuck to it. Went in and out of these phases. Went on the biggest of benders, woke up in places I had no recollection of going to and such. Drove Élyse nuts. But it didn’t matter to me; I’d still be alive, so who cared what I put myself through?”

Edward wants to say that there were many who cared, but he knows that it would fall on deaf ears. He gets what Étienne means by it, but it still hurts him that his boyfriend had had to go through all of this. He gives his hand another squeeze and if anything, Étienne offers him a small smile, acknowledging the gesture.

“I was all over the place and when I finally met Koffey, shortly after the Olympics, it was quite by accident and he took me by surprise.”

“Everything about our relationship was different than the others I’d been in up until then. For starters, it didn’t happen the way the others had. It wasn’t the usual meet, sex and eventually develop feelings. He’d been living in the city for a few years when we met. He’d immigrated here, in search for a new adventure – ahead of the wave that would come later on. He’d decided to open up a restaurant, bringing us the local flavors of his own country. I stumbled there, quite by accident and I was most likely high and not even fully coherent. To be honest, I can’t even say I remember that day; he’s the one who told me later on.”

“I ended up returning. Later. On a better day. I think I was convinced it was my first time here, but Koffey was a little wary of seeing me again. Apparently, I had been a little rowdy on my first visit... Yet, he still gave me a chance and was still very polite while he served me, if a little guarded. I felt bad, so I returned and the more I went back, the more I was drawn – by him, his cuisine, and his quiet sense of humour and intelligence.”

“He eventually realised I wasn’t a complete asshole and he’d start coming to talk to me when the restaurant was quiet. He was – a breath of fresh air, really and at the time the one good thing I had going on. It felt like being thrown a lifeboat – something to hang on to while I tried not to drown – by my thoughts, my life, the shit-show burning around me. A beacon of hope and light I clung to desperately.”

“I honestly didn’t even think Koffey was interested in men. It surprised me, when one day, I hung around until the restaurant closed. I waited for him out in the back, not wanting to go home just yet. I also didn’t think going home just yet would be wise. I was still all over the place and I knew that if I went home I’d end up using or doing something even stupider. Having a friend helped keeping my thoughts on track. Koffey, without knowing what was going on in my head, helped keep my mind quiet. I wanted to know more about him and his life, so I focused on that. Anyways, it’d been a quiet night and we’d been having a grand old time chatting. I thought maybe we could walk around and bum out in a park. Summer was starting to settle in for good and it was a perfect night out. Warm and this side of humid, with a gentle breeze to make it pleasant.”

Edward has his own thoughts and ideas about the description of the weather, but he schools his face in a neutral expression and listens on.

“He was surprised to see me out back, but pleased and we picked up our conversation from where we’d left off. We ended up taking the long way back to his. I didn’t mind having to walk back to mine after and the extra detour would do me some good. However, he invited me in for a beer and I obviously said yes. He was my friend, after all and the thought of a cold beer to end the night sounded great.”

“We must have spent a few more hours drinking beer and talking and somewhere along the line, he leaned in and kissed me. Completely unprompted. I was shocked and surprised and at first he thought I wasn’t interested, since I hadn’t kissed him back. He must have apologised at least a dozen times. It was quite funny, really. I’d keep trying to tell him that it was fine, but he wouldn’t listen. And the more he went on, the more afraid he was that I’d do something to him – which was quite sobering, let me tell you. I finally took matters in my own hands and kissed him myself. We’d been hanging around together for months, by then and had I known, I would have put a move on him sooner, maybe. The kiss finally got him to stop apologising and for a moment after that all we did was make-out on his couch like all the terrible clichés in movies.” He laughs at that, fond, as he twiddles with an unlit cigarette. “It was so different, though – soft and tender. Nicholas had been very forward with his kissing that first time. I knew we would end up in his bed the moment he kissed me, whereas with Koffey – it almost felt hesitant and cautious and I thought that was lovely.”

“He still asked afterwards if I was that way, which I thought was both endearing and silly – considering I had just kissed him and wouldn’t have minded him kissing him some more. I assured him that I was and to prove my point, I kissed him again. I recall teasing him about it later, asking him if he needed another kiss to be sure I was into men. He thought I was being ridiculous, which was saying something.”

There’s a gentle, soft smile that graces Étienne’s features, not for the first time during their talk, and Edward wonders what memories his boyfriend is reliving – what images his brain has conjured for him to revisit. He’s glad, though, that despite the heartache that Étienne still has fond memories of Koffey to go back to.

“I wasn’t in love with him – not at that point, but I was certainly drawn to him. He was – beautiful. On the outside as much as on the inside; a gentle soul, really. I would have willingly gone to bed with him that night, but he insisted we wait a little and take things slow. This had never really happened and even though I was a little annoyed, I didn’t push the issue and floated back home after one last kiss.”

“He actually – I swear, the next time I went to see him, he actually asked me out on a proper date. He was too much! And I couldn’t believe that a man like Koffey, sweet and gentle and kind, would want to date me who felt broken and used and soiled in so many ways. But he saw beyond that and insisted we go on a proper date before we went to bed together and so I said yes; because I did really want him and I loved his company.”

“Our first date was nothing extraordinary, but it was nice – to be taken out – to feel as though I was worthy of someone’s attention and affection again. It was almost as good as a high. He took me out to dinner and then insisted we go to a movie and he was so gallant about the whole thing. He paid for the meal and for the ticket and don’t ask me how the movie ended, because halfway through we started making-out in the back and before the movie ended we left to go back to his.”

“Koffey was – so very sweet to me. Our first time together felt like something out of a romance movie. There was no frenetic urgency to it. It wasn’t just sex because he wanted a fast way to get to his release. He made love to me. Me! It boggled my mind. He kissed and caressed every bit of me that felt broken and used. It was – wonderful and too much and I tried changing the pace to something that felt less consuming ‘cause I couldn’t handle so much love being given to me, but he kept on finding ways to make it less about the sex and more about us and I couldn’t take it. I eventually broke down in tears.”

“And get this – he thought he, of all people, had done something wrong to me – that he’d hurt me in some way. I came clean to him. Told him everything. As much as I could. The drugs, the streets – the fall from grace. Every last ugly truth came out as he held me in his arms and made sure I understood I was someone worthy of love again. I felt stupid for breaking down and felt even worse for needing him to comfort me. And despite that, there were still things I couldn’t tell him. He tried asking about what was bothering me – because he could tell. Even when I lied – he could always tell when there was more – when everything in my head was too loud, but it was hard to explain. I couldn’t just say oh by the way, I’m semi-immortal and I represent a city. Yeah, fucked up I know, but I swear that’s not the acid talking.”

“It wasn’t stupid,” Edward breaks. He knows Étienne is in a better place now, but he also knows his boyfriend is still prone to great bouts of self-doubt that do more harm than good to him. He’d hate to think that Étienne still feels that way.

“I know,” Étienne responds quickly. Edward wonders if he isn’t deflecting, but he figures Étienne’s heart has been scorched raw enough for the day that he can let it slide for this time.

“You’ve always been worthy of love,” He adds softly and Étienne stills for a moment.

“I know.” He says again, but it sounds different this time around; a little more vulnerable and fragile. Edward wants to gather him in his own arms and hold him tightly, but instead he keeps hold of his hand and lets Étienne carry on with his story.

“I made it up to him, later, once the storm had passed. I didn’t want him to think that I would be some emotional weight to him. He’d wanted sex so I made sure to deliver. He was still very sweet and loving with me and I tried to ignore it. I focused on making it good for him so that he wouldn’t toss me to the side and in my mind it worked. Yet, thinking back, there were still times when I felt like he was onto me. Like he knew when I was faking it for both our benefits, but he let me be.”

“Still, for as much as Koffey was good for me and to me, he wasn’t a cure to all my problems. It would’ve been too easy. He helped – more than he probably ever realised, but I was still reckless and I still fluctuated. Bad days and worse days. On those, he’d simply hold me in his arms and let me cry in them.

Sometimes there’d be an okay day. He made it tolerable. To be alive. Made the sharp edges rounder. Made me feel like I could hang on another day. And there were those times when I felt like I genuinely wanted to be around – for him. I wanted to take him somewhere or kiss him again. I wanted to tell him some funny story I had heard or simply go to bed with him one more time. So I stuck it out and tried to survive.”

“He was so kind and patient with me. He loved me, despite what I was and how I was. He loved me even when I couldn’t love myself. God, I never deserved him. He was too good for me and to me. And somehow, I repaid his kindness by making him sick and killing him!”

“You don’t know that for sure.” Edward replies quickly, without thinking.

He remembers the visit. Remembers finding out about the real significance of Koffey. Of going over to visit Étienne and finding him distraught and broken hearted. Of Étienne bringing him to the cemetery. The breakdown and the tears. The trembling murmured admissions of guilt. The dawning connection he’d made.

Edward had been in his own headspace at the time and their correspondence had petered out, hence his grasp of Koffey’s role in Étienne’s life had been lacking in some regards. But standing by that grave, with his friend opening up about him and telling him what had happened had marked Edward.

“I may as well have, Edward.” Étienne snaps. He lights up the cigarette he’d been previously playing with and takes a long drag from it. “He died and it was all my fault. I couldn’t even – I wasn’t even there when he died. I was too afraid. And ashamed. I was a coward. He’d chosen me and I may as well have tossed him out.” He flicks the ash with more force than necessary and when Edward spares him a glance, he sees the storm of hate and shame fight in Étienne’s eyes through his unshed tears. “He deserved better – after everything he did for me and I repaid his kindness by being a coward.”

Edward knows that there’s no sense in telling Étienne that it’s not his fault. His boyfriend will keep berating himself until he runs out of steam and he supposes that it’s best to let him be and wait it out. Yet, it doesn’t sit well with him to have Étienne react this way. Sure, he could have been responsible for Koffey getting sick, but at the same time, there was no actual proof. He hates that it still eats Étienne alive and part of him wants to take him by the shoulders, shake him, and tell him to convince himself otherwise. Especially if it’ll help him move on. But – he’s known Étienne for too long and knows that such actions will do him no good.

Instead, he waits and starts to itch for a cigarette of his own. He settles instead for a deep breath and then another. He thinks back to his own response to the crises. To the way he’d taken action. The misery and heartache he’d seen and lived. The friends he’d lost. The ones he’d buried. He thinks of running to Montreal to get away from it all and leaning on Étienne for a chance to forget and leave it all behind. There’s an irony here he still hasn’t fully grasped but it’s a reflection for a different day. There’s already enough that’s been looked over for one day.

“I don’t think he would have wanted you to beat yourself over it,” He offers instead. Étienne sniffs loudly and doesn’t give him an answer. Instead, he remains quiet, fighting with his own demons.

“You never did tell me why you called him Koffey,” Edward tries again, minutes later, when he feels that the mood has shifted once more and that Étienne has calmed down some. Perhaps this approach will work better, he thinks.

Étienne sniffles and rubs at his eyes, “Oh,” He starts and a small smile deigns to make an appearance on his face, which Edward is thankful for. “Apparently, his regular customers used to call him that. He thought it was hysterical and he never really liked his own name. I never questioned it beyond that and it stuck.”

Étienne grows silent after that and turns reflective. Even Mercury seems to sense the shift in mood and nuzzles her way up to his arms for cuddles. The distraction serves its purpose and Étienne focuses on her for a while, caressing her fur and scratching her behind the ears, which she seems to enjoy, if Edward is to judge by the wagging of her tail. He watches and lets them be for a while, glad the dog can help where he can’t.

“You would’ve liked him,” Étienne quietly says after a while. He’s not looking at him, hands still buried deep in Mercury’s dark coat, but Edward doesn’t mind.

“I’m sure I would have – he sounds like a great guy.”

“The greatest.”

Not for the first time, Edward wonders if Étienne’s feelings hadn’t become tainted with guilt over the years. He doesn’t question Étienne’s love for Koffey, but he wonders if the circumstances of his death haven’t left a lasting grip on him that wouldn’t have otherwise been there if the man had died of natural causes at a ripe old age. The wounds are still too raw and fresh to ask, so he lets the matter rest and figures that there will be other occasions to ask.

They fall silent after that, both lost again in their own thoughts. He hears the occasional snuffle from Mercury and sends out a silent prayer of thanks to whatever higher power there might be out there for her presence in Étienne’s life. In the few years Étienne has had her, he already sees the difference and impact she’s made in his life.

Eventually, Mercury settles back on Étienne’s side and his friend leaves a hand around her neck, absent-mindedly stroking her dark coat, while he reaches out for Edward’s own hand with his other. Edward is a little surprised, but he doesn’t mind and let’s Étienne play with his fingers. He traces the lines on his hand with the edge of a nail and draws loops with it afterwards. Edward watches the movement carefully with his eyes and finds it oddly grounding in a way. He hadn’t realised he’d felt a little unmoored by these tales and he wonders, not for the first time, just how attuned to him Étienne really is.

They settle around each other, the breeze gently ruffling their hair and Edward takes a deep breath to process some of what he’s just heard.

“And shortly after Koffey died, while I was still mourning him and hating myself for everything I had done, you came along at both the best and worst moment of my life.”

Part III Part V

#pc: montreal #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #étienne maisonneuve #fic #projocanondoko

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meow-bebe · 4 years

Text

stellatus

Pairing: Lee Felix x artist!reader

Genre: fluffffff

Warnings: literally nothing. this is so sweet asghk we’re channeling the cute here. like honestly not even my usual cussing

Word count: 3614 (!!!)

A/n: remember that idea I posted a while ago? well heres the fic! Im suuuper proud of this one because its the longest thing ive written for this blog (3k! more than 3k! that makes me so happy ahhhh!) and also I just really love it! usually I don't particularly like my own writing but this one I feel like is my best work. also about half way through writing this I found this amazing drawing by @panini-byanyothername which gave me the encouragement to finish this and also deserves all of the love because its an amazing piece of art! it was drawn based on another fanfic but its super pretty and is very close to what my story is about so I thought it would be appropriate to include a link

~~~

stēllātus; first/second-declension adjective starry, stellate, starred

“I have an idea,” you announced, bouncing with excitement as you ran into the room where Felix was currently sat at your desk on his computer. Latching your arms around Felix’s neck from behind, you rested your chin gently on his shoulder.

“And what would that be?”he asked, spinning the office chair he sat in and successfully rotating within your arms.

“I want to paint on you!” you said brightly as Felix’s hands came to rest on your waist as you snuggled closer, plopping down into his lap.

“What?” Felix asked, slightly startled by your bold proposition.

“I want to paint on you,” you repeated, “like, kind of use you as a human canvas?” It came out more as a question than a statement, and you grinned awkwardly, the incredulous tone of his voice making you shy.

“I’m not opposed,” Felix mused, and you immediately brightened back up again. “Why though?”

“Well,” you said, fingers playing with the strings of his hoodie, “first of all you’re the only person I have on hand at the moment.” You giggled, and Felix raised a hand to his chest in mock offense. “But I’ve always loved painting on skin. There’s some strange appeal that comes with turning another human being into art. Unfortunately, I’ve only ever done it on myself before, but I had this really amazing idea a while ago and have held onto it forever and you are absolutely perfect for it.” You finished by pressing a sweet kiss to his nose. “So?” you asked eagerly, “what do you say? Let me paint on you?”

Felix chuckled lightly, and you could feel the deep vibrations where your hands were set on his chest. “Aren’t you going to tell me what your amazing idea is?”

“Nope!” you said cheerfully, popping the ‘p’ as you smiled happily, “You’ll just have to say yes and see what I do. It will be beautiful, I promise.”

Felix playfully narrowed his eyes at you. “You won’t do something stupid or make me look weird?”

“I would never,” you said, sticking out your littlest finger, “pinky swear. And anyway, nothing could ever make you look weird, pretty boy.” Felix’s eyes widened at your compliment, a light shade of red creeping across his cheeks as he wrapped his pinky around yours. No matter how often you complimented him he always had the sweetest flustered reactions.

“What are we waiting for then?” you practically vaulted out of his lap, tangling your fingers together and tugging on his hand to try and get him to follow you.

“What, now?” he asked, a bewildered look on his face.

“Yes, now,” you said, pulling on his hand again, “I can’t wait any longer, I’m dying to finally do this.”

“Alright,” Felix said, laughing as he stood up from the desk, whatever he was working on earlier abandoned as you enthusiastically pulled him along to the spare bedroom turned art studio.

“Here,” you said, tossing one of the already paint-stained cushions you often put to use out of the closet, “sit down while I find what I need.”

Felix grabbed the cushion and set it on the large, clear plastic mat you always kept set out over the hardwood floors. There were several places you had set up for painting, laying on the floor and the easel by the window being two of your favorites, and you rotated between them depending on how you were feeling that day. It seemed like today was a sprawled across the floor day, although that made sense, Felix reasoned, if you were going to be painting on him. He sat down and watched as you zipped back and forth across the room, picking through your jars of brushes and bins of paints to find the supplies you would be using.

Thrusting one of the mason jar mugs you used to wash out your brushes at Felix, you asked, “Could you go fill this up with water for me?” He nodded compliantly, pulling himself up off the floor and traipsing across the hall to the bathroom to fill the glass mug with water. When he came back into the room, you had set up a jar of brushes to pick through, tossed a few tubes of paint to the floor next to the two cushions, and were currently spread across a decent portion of the floor with one of the large folders you had labeled as “inspiration and references.” These were collections of anything you could possibly want to give you ideas or utilize in your art, ranging from newspaper clippings, old photographs, passages from books and poems scrawled on torn notebook paper (or on the more rare occasion, printed out), and absolutely filled to the brim with doodles and practice drawings. You were a firm believer in the idea that anything could be reused or help inspire you in the future, which ultimately lead to your large collection. Usually you tried to date the bits of paper you tucked away, but it didn’t help with your chronic lack of organization.

“What are you searching for?” Felix questioned, assuming that you wouldn’t answer but asking anyway.

“Can’t tell,” you said, eyes twinkling with a spark of mischief, “it’s supposed to be a surprise, remember?”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop asking. What do you want me to do then?” he asked, looking around the room and wondering what you had planned for him.

“Just sit, I’ll find it in a moment.” Felix settled himself back down on the floor as you continued to rifle through the folder barely containing the papers inside it. He watched as you carefully separated a few glossy photos that had stuck together and shuffled through a stack of what appeared to be old school work. “Aha!” you shouted victoriously, startling Felix and holding a few taped together pieces of paper in the air.

“What’s that?” he asked, his curiosity over both the project itself and the haphazardly folded but carefully assembled papers in your grasp too much to handle.

To his surprise, you gave in this time. “Star chart!” you chirped, obviously too pleased with yourself to continue hiding your intentions. “I’ve always loved space, specifically stars, and I took an astronomy class in high school but never got rid of the papers that weren’t just worksheets. I always hoped that someday I would be able to use them for painting. And here we are!” Felix smiled at the happy grin lighting up your whole face, your excitement too endearing to not acknowledge.

“Cute.” Felix grinned happily as you shuffled over to where you had set up all of your supplies. All of a sudden his smile turned bashful, stammering slightly as he asked, “Should I like, take my shirt off or something then?”

You giggled, setting down the star chart and plucking a thin marker from amongst the plethora of materials. “Not this time. I want to do your face!”

“What?” Felix gasped, eyes widened in surprise.

“I want to paint on your face!” you repeated, excitement fading as you rolled the marker between your hands, suddenly nervous. “Your freckles, specifically. Only if you’ll let me though.” You fidgeted slightly, focused on the marker before looking up at Felix who still wore a slightly startled expression.

“My - my freckles?” he asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah. Finding patterns that match my constellations-” you patted the papers sitting beside you - “and then turning your face into a little galaxy.”

“Y/n,” he said softly, and you braced yourself to be turned down, “I think that’s the most amazing thing you’ve ever come up with. Why would I ever say no?”

Your eyes shot up to find Felix’s, and you could see all of the adoration that he held for you in their depths. “Really?” you asked, pulling yourself into his lap and tucking your arms around his waist.

“Really,” he confirmed, sealing a gentle kiss against your mouth. “Now, how do you want to go about this?”

You clamored off of Felix, grabbing the marker from where you had dropped it at his side and snatching the star chart into your hands before thrusting it at Felix. “Pick a few that you like, and I’ll see if what I can do to weave them out of your freckles,” you said, placing the folded chart into his hands and backing off to begin rifling through the paint tubes you had chosen. “Try not to do anything too difficult, I think the simpler ones would look better for this.”

Leaving him to pour over the constellations, you realized that you had overlooked finding a palette earlier in your scramble to find paints, so you pulled yourself up off the floor to move to the closet once again. Shoving a few bins of paints and stacks of assorted canvases to the side, you finally found the collection of palettes stored near the back of the shelf. Just barely managing to get your finger under the one on the bottom (the shelf was slightly too high, not enough to really bother you, but it could be a minor inconvenience sometimes), you dragged the precariously balanced stack towards yourself.

“What about Lyra?” Felix called from behind you.

“That would work,” you mused, shuffling through the pile in search of one not too caked in dried paint.

“Or Aquila?”

“Also fine,” you responded, selecting a mostly clean palette. “I really want to try Draco, so we’ll do that one first and then fit the others on after that. Sound good?”

"Anything you want to do is good with me," he replied, and you turned to see the pretty blush staining his cheeks.

"But you're the one making this project come to life," you said, crossing the room in a few steps and settling down in front of him. "You should have some input."

"I'm merely the final product in this situation. You, y/n, are the one bringing it to life." Now it was your turn to grow flustered by his compliments.

"Oh hush," you said, searching on the floor for the marker you had set down.

Finding your marker, you uncapped it and scooted closer to Felix. "Ready?" you asked.

He looked at the marker warily. "I thought you were painting."

"I am painting, but I have to sketch it out first," you laughed. "I always do."

"Oh," he said, looking down shyly. He always loved to watch you paint, however paying attention to the process was something else entirely. "Well go on then."

Studying his face carefully, you placed a small dot on top of a freckle close to the top of his cheek. Glancing back at the star chart, you drew another right under it, and awkwardly angled your pen to try and reach better. Pulling the papers mapping out your reference closer, you shuffled to the side and drew another dot.

"This isn't working very well," you said, taking Felix's chin in your hand and tilting his head to the side to try and reach better. "I might move you again, so try not to move and tell me if it's too uncomfortable."

Felix nodded in response just as you set the tip of the marker against his cheek, leaving a small inky streak down his face. You sighed. "Next time just say you heard me. I'm going to get the rubbing alcohol.” You stood up and headed to the bathroom, opening the cabinet and rummaging around to find the necessary bottle. Finding what you needed, you stood up and crossed the hallway once again to rejoin Felix.

"Here." Felix held out a cotton ball that he had no doubt found in the depths of one of your many bins of random art supplies.

"Thanks," you said quietly, already flipping the top of the rubbing alcohol open and soaking the cotton in liquid before scrubbing it gently across Felix's cheek. He held still for the moment, letting you remove the ink from his face and watching your movements carefully.

"Done?" he asked as you tossed the now somewhat grey cotton ball to the floor.

"Yep." you picked up your marker again. "Good to go?" He nodded again, this time making sure that the marker was nowhere near his skin.

You set back to work, switching between analyzing the star chart and making small dots where you could connect the freckles strewn across Felix's face to resemble the constellation you had picked.

After readjusting Felix's face for the nth time, you sighed. “This isn’t working,” you complained, capping your marker and letting your hand fall into your lap.

“I can tell,” Felix mused. “Any ideas?”

You tilted your head, scanning over his face, and Felix could see the imaginary lightbulb pop up above your head as a grin spread across your face. “Maybe,” you said cheekily, crawling into his lap and once again uncapping your marker. Placing the non inky end into your mouth, you cupped your hands around Felix’s cheeks, gently moving his head around until you think you’ve found the perfect angle. “Don’t move.”

Finding that your new vantage point gave you perfect access to the soft skin of your boyfriend’s cheeks, you steadily set back to work, sketching light lines between the makeshift “stars” that quickly began to fill the freckles dotted across Felix’s face.

“Alright! I’m all done.” You leaned back a bit to admire your work, already extremely happy with the way that everything was turning out. “And now -” you clambered off Felix’s lap to let him stretch while you gathered the scattered supplies necessary for the next step of your project - “we paint!”

Felix giggled at the enthusiasm spreading a happy brightness across your face, bringing you closer for a chaste kiss as soon as you had settled yourself back across him. Clasping the brush you had picked up between your teeth as you seemed prone to do, you grabbed two of the few tubes of paint selected from a small box of metallics Felix wasn’t aware you had and unscrewed the one containing silver paint. Squeezing a small amount onto the palette in your other hand, you replaced the cap and set it to the side.

You pulled the paintbrush from your mouth, and said, “This is it. No going back after I start painting,” you warned, absolutely failing to hide the playful tone in your voice.

“I have sharpie all over my face,” Felix laughed, “I’m pretty sure we reached that point a while ago.”

“Right,” you said, ducking your face a little, trying to hide your embarrassed expression. “Well then, let the painting begin!” Placing a sweet kiss to the tip of Felix’s nose, you swirled your brush through the silver paint and hesitantly hovered over the inked lines connecting his freckles.

“You’re not going to mess this up,” Felix reassured, almost as if he could immediately pick up on your thoughts, “anything you paint is always beautiful and I have complete confidence in you.”

The compliments flustered you even more, and muttering a soft, “Oh, be quiet,” you set your brush down, dragging the bristles across the lines you had laid down earlier.

Felix shuddered under the cool touch of paint stroked across his face, and you backed off for a moment, letting him adjust to the foreign feeling. “Try not to move,” you said, setting down your palette and cupping his jaw sweetly.

You painted thin, careful lines over all of the drawn out constellations, painstakingly smoothing the edges and adding a second layer to those where the black ink was still visible. While you kept all of your focus on the paintbrush in your hand, Felix lost himself in the way that you concentrated on the task you had set yourself to. He loved to watch you paint, and the experience was ten times better when you were right up close. Felix watched your expressions as you immersed yourself in your work, noticing every little forehead scrunch, loving the cute way that you would chew on your lip or poke your tongue out when you got to a particularly tricky spot. There wasn’t enough focus left to be self conscious when you truly absorbed yourself in your art, and it was times like these that Felix thought you were most true to yourself, which lead to it also being when he found you most beautiful. Not that you weren’t other times, certainly, but there was something enchanting about your little expressions and the way your hair would stick up from running your fingers through it. You would always have paint all over your hands, no matter how careful you had been, and when it was still wet the pigment often transferred to your face or hair. Of course you never noticed, and so Felix would let you know you should probably look in a mirror, but only after silently appreciating the way that the smudged paint on your forehead somehow only enhanced the glow of beauty that truly being in your element brought out.

“There we go!” you suddenly exclaimed, startling Felix out of his reverie. “I’m finished with the lines,” you told him, dropping your paintbrush into the cup of water and swishing it around a little. “Now I just have to do the stars.”

You leaned to the side and reached around Felix to grab the other tube of paint you had taken out and added some of the gold to the palette before screwing the cap back on and tossing it next to you. Balancing the palette on your knee, you grabbed the cup containing your brush and dragged it toward you. Quickly and thoroughly rinsing the paint from the bristles, you wiped off the excess water and took Felix’s face into your hand once again, gently maneuvering him back into a position where you could easily paint.

Now used to the feeling, Felix didn’t startle when you began painting again, the cool touch of the paint to his cheek calming. You worked steadily, crossing tiny strokes to form the stars connecting the constellations created by his freckles. Every now and then you would shift in his lap, or make sure that the angle his head was at wasn’t making his neck ache, but for the most part you worked silent and still.

You smoothed tiny lines into shapes, keeping them tidy and occasionally layering more paint on where it had smudged or the first coat had been too thin. After finishing one of the stars higher on his cheek, you leaned back to admire your work.

“I think I’m done,” you said softly, wiping a bit of golden paint off Felix’s forehead.

“Can I see?” he asked, plucking the paint brush out of your fingers and placing it in the paint water.

You nodded, climbing out of his lap and gesturing towards the messy desk in the corner of the room. “There should be a mirror up there. I’m going to go get my Polaroid camera.” You loved that camera, it had been a gift from a friend years ago, and you only pulled it out for special occasions. Felix knew how much it meant to you, and the fact that you wanted to capture this moment with it warmed his heart.

When you returned to the room, Felix was sitting back on the cushions you had pulled out, the small hand mirror next to him on the floor. “It’s beautiful, y/n,” he said, and you smiled at the compliment, whispering a quiet “Thanks.”

“Where do you want me?” Felix asked, nodding towards the camera in your hands.

“By the window, probably,” you said, “I think backlighting would look good for this.” It was reaching late afternoon now, and the sun was beginning to sink to the horizon quickly. The golden light would shine through his hair beautifully, and Felix always glowed in the sunlight.

The two of you moved to the other side of the room, and Felix quickly set himself up in front of the window.

“Should I pose or something?” Felix asked, and you shook your head in response.

“Just do what feels natural,” you said, squinting at him through the viewfinder on your Polaroid before lowering it to watch him adjust for the photo. He seemed to relax under your gaze, and turned his head to the side so he was looking straight into the lens as the light washed over the paint trailed across his face, illuminating the shine of the metallics you used. He stilled after a moment, and after you were sure he wasn’t going to move, you pressed the shutter. The camera began printing your photo, and after a moment you plucked it from the slot, pressing it between your lips and bringing the camera back up to your eye.

“I want to take one more,” you mumbled around the developing photo in your mouth, “close your eyes for me?” Felix complied, letting his lashes flutter against the top of his cheeks as a small smile settled across his face. You snapped your second photo, bringing the camera down and tucking the earlier in between your fingers as you waited for the second to print. Felix came to stand next to you, taking the second photo and looking over your shoulder to see how the first one turned out.

As you watched the color seep onto the glossy paper you knew that the stars across his cheeks, no matter how pretty they were, could never compare to the stars that shone in his eyes. He was truly beautiful, and standing there with your camera in hand, his hair brushing against your cheek, you were never more aware.

#lee felix #felix #felix stray kids #stray kids #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #stray kids x reader #felix fluff #lee felix fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #felix imagines #stray kids fanfiction #felix fanfiction #maybe ill have to start a masterlist soon this is exciting

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themeed · 3 years

Text

damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.

im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.

and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.

and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.

anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.

and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.

not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.

once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.

it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.

they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.

we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...

are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.

and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.

so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.

not throw insults or punches or hatred.

what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.

but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.

these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.

Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...

i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.

because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.

i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.

depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.

i. i might do this. legitimately.

i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.

i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.

anyway. yeah. wow.

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gender-chaotic · 4 years

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Oh boy b**tleba*bes talking about stuff they have no clue about lmao

Warning talk mentions of b**tleb*bes, over sexualization of minors, and a bit of adult stuff.

Im goldenbeetle shipper whos been here a while now and is a proud drinker of loving barbara maitland juice not gonna deny our community has some issues mostly in the past with leaving babs out of fics and art and focus more on adam and beej as well as more adult content. But this is something myslef and many people IN OUR OWN COMMUNITY has been speaking out about for a long ass time now you can search the tags for posts adressing leaving Barbara out including by myself so jot that down, so we dont need b**tleb*bes who barley know anything about our community telling us about our content especially when some of y'all openly mock our ship and made it clear you do not care about it, thanks. many of us especially more recently add barbara in, ive seen so much goldenbeetle content that includes babs including again my own content, ive purposefully drawn solo babs and beej so if you're saying there no content that includes her or just beej and her you're very VERY wrong, come to me or most shippers we can provide lots of golden beetle content with babs and even just babs and beetlejuice. Not to mention a few of your own b**tleb*bes have made beetlejuice and adam content and usually leaves Barbara out and focuses just on adam and beej but go off i guess lol.

Many people draw barbara also draw her based off her actresses' who are both women who don't have very large breasts on top of that gena davis' dress for Barbara did not reveal much, kerry's showing a bit more with a deep neckline still covered alot of her body. Many people arent drawing babs with big knockers and sexy clothes because were trying to repress her sexuality and make her dress like she's in the handmaids tale, shame women for being sexy, its because barbara and adam are canonically a white bred suburban couple who are "vanilla" its their personailty, i drew babs with smaller breasts and more "canon compliant" for a while before i changed it up. Obviously you CAN draw barabra and even adam as sexy and babs with big tiddies, i draw barbara with larger breasts now, and show her cleavage and I've been doing this for a while and i have draw PLENTY of sexy and pin up style babs as well adult content with her beetlejuice, and adam, I've also posted it on here so again y'all dont know what you're talking about. I know others who have drawn sexy barbara and barbara with larger breasts just because its not common and YOU haven't seen it doesn't mean its not out there.

Have y'all seen art of anyone oc's like including self ship oc's with beej?? many of them are sexy and/or have pretty bug breasts (not complaini g btw yall are doing gr8 i love your oc's) or other adult female characters in the show I've seen of art thats sexy of miss Argentina and delia as well as art of them with larger breasts and dressed more "sexy" because that's their character, dress more revealing and prefer to be "sexy". Ive also never been attacked or seen any other "anti" attack a creator for making sexy art or big breasted versions of female characters that are canonically adults in beetlejuice, this includes myself who has openly posted suggestive content of babs even on here infact Ive seen people actually like that stuff they just don't make it themselves so claiming "no one is allowed" to draw barbara sexy or adult content of her is also a huge load.

Not to get too personal but speaking from experience as a person who developed at a very early age i got my first real bra at 7 or 8, had D-DDD breasts throughout middle school and highschool, currently has g-h cup breasts, has been overly sexualized my entire life by people of all ages because of this, and also deals with ALOT of dysphoria because of It am A-ok with representation of women with larger breasts, including suggestive/sexual art of them, women of all body types including their breasts but that's the thing i highly doubt y'all care about large breasted women I've seen the argument when talking about the over sexualiztion of large breasts

"well you dont care about women with big breasts we exist too!"

"Dont erase our body breasts!"

I get it! But its pretty clear this argument is usually only being presented to tokenize us and then someone will draw a big tiddied lady with wide as birthing hips, a dumpster truck ass, back that looks like it son the verge of breaking, and a waist that varies from size skinny to "holy sh*t did all your organs get sucked out???" If yall really care about women with big breasts draw women of differing body types with big breasts, draw them chubby, fat, ACTUALLY curvy, give them stretch marks, a double chin, ect. You fucking cowards say were mysoginists for "not giving barbara big tiddies"

Most of b**tleb*abe adult lydia art looks like a mix of jessica rabbit, elvira, and morticia addams with the same 2 or 3 body types over and over again, infact ive run into plenty of b**tleb*bes art where lydia has either has big tits or like a B-ish cup ("aged up" lydia thats looks almost exactly like her teenage self canon(s)) not really an inbetween but you "totally care about women with large breasts" its not tat you only care about adult lydia to make her ooc, project onto her and make her to sexy goth queen many of us wanted to be when we were young and watched beetlejuice, ship her with beej so she can be his big tiddy goth gf its TOTALLY about ""feminism"" uh huh....

And where has YOUR sexy barbara art been hmm? b**tleb*bes draw so little art of barbara or either maitlands other than to be in the background and react to beej and lyida's shenanigans, or scold them because babes portray the maitlands or way more protective and prude than in canon, and the little art I've seen babes draw of her isn't sexy big tiddy babs. I have at most seen a handful of deetzland fics with adult content including barbara and that's it. Its very clear many of yall care mostly about lydia and beej especially boinking be honest now. So dont bring up our ship or barbara as a "gotcha antis".

And lastly Lydia, i dont think any of us are saying she cant grow up, we literally just think its gross to sexualize a character who is a minor in canon and age her up solely to be with a canon adult. Ive seen "antis" draw adult lydia in a tasteful way and develop her as she grows up because they're interested in her charcter and no one has taken issue with it at all. Lydia in all canons doesnt have big honkers in any canon either, yes minors can have breasts, even larger ones. I mentioned above that was me, and you can have a character who is a minor who looks more developed than others where its not gross and sexualized (jackie lynn thomas from svtfoe is an example, mami from madoka isnt really sexualized in canon from my memory) i think representaion of all body types abd breast sizes is important for young women but lydia isnt one of those characters even in canons where shes 15-17 and going through puberty.

Let lydia be a child jfc, stop being creepy and getting pissy when people draw lyida with the same breast cup in canon and make her look like the average teen/tween she is, that isnt misogyny its treating a character who is a minor appropriately.

The ACTUAL misogyny is over sexualizing and aging up a tween/teen character soley to do the horizontal monster mash with a adult charcter, write her so that she really only cares about said adult character and the spawn that pop out of her from him, she dies young but parents and friends who cares shes got beetlejuice!, Forget the entire life she leaving behind too, and giving her the body of a pixar mom or h*ntai protagonist a majority of the time.

Your performative white feminism is showing.

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #oops opinion time #oops opinion time!#fandom discourse #beetlejuice discourse #discourse #ship discourse #shipping discourse #sorryfor the rant/popping #working on requests and art #but rae darkemess demntia raven way openei #opened* her mouth to spew more word diarehha

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springfieldblues · 4 years

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okay im on my simpsons rewatch (been watching it while i draw for the last few months) and i just got to "lisas date w destiny" and u got me shippin them so hard like before i didnt really care that much? are there any certain things that you love about them as a couple? specific reasons why you're drawn to them? why do you think they work so well?

HONESTLY i didnt really care that much about them before the rewatches that led me to this point either?? something just really clicked with me this time around but its hard to pinpoint what exactly, so im thinking its a combination of things. i remember when i watched that specific episode as a kid i kept getting secondhand embarrassment because i saw lisa trying to do all these things for nelson and he seemed so annoyed with her and stuff and i just didnt really GET IT??

but then when i watched it again as an adult i was like…damn. i understand all the subtleties now…nelson wasnt annoyed so much as confused by the whole thing, he literally had no idea how to deal with any of it (or emotions for that matter) because its so different from the kind of treatment hes used to. if he really had been that annoyed, he wouldnt have bothered to play along with lisas “dates” or anything because hes the kind of character who does whatever he wants. he stuck around because he was curious, and why wouldnt he be? lisa was the first person to think he could be a nice guy and he says so at the end followed by a disappointed (in himself) sarcastic remark ‘well…guess you really blew that one huh’ and lisa just smiles at that and I REALLY DIDNT GET ANY OF THAT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER it was too subtle for my stupid child brain. some things just hit different after youve gone through certain experiences i guess. and also hearing the dvd commentary talking about all this stuff also really helped me realize how good the episode really is

it could also be because now im more aware of the kind of tropes and dynamics i like to see in fiction and i realized that they actually fit a lot of them. exes who still have feelings for each other (this is especially true in one of the future episodes where its implied that they ‘still talk on the phone’ even though lisa is married to milhouse and she wonders if she shouldve married nelson instead), good hearted character who believes in the bad guy and then the bad guy tries to be better for them, nerd + punk, intimidating characters who kind of hate everyone except one person who they vow to protect, etc

i need to be honest and say that i dont always agree with the way they portray their crush on each other especially in newer episodes but ive always loved that after Lisa’s Date With Density theyve pretty consistently (for simpsons standards) shown nelson respect lisa over any other kid when given the chance

and lisa still believes in him and that he can do great things when steered in the right direction. theres pretty much a whole episode about that (Loan-a Lisa) and she was so proud of the little bastard….he takes her rollerskating as thanks at the end….too sweet wtf

ANYWAY i think this post is getting super long but yeah!! i think that about sums it up. im so glad you also now see what took me years to see its like we’re all coming back from the optometrist here

#starxapple #asks

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just-my-fandom · 5 years

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The Hidden World (Eret x Haddock! Reader)

So I heard you saw the third How to Train Your Dragon, and I was wondering if I could get an Eret x Haddock! Reader where the reader is the first child and by the third movie, is married to Eret and is pregnant. She isn't allowed to battle the man searching for her brothers Dragon, Grimmel and is put in danger during the last fight

Characters; Hiccup, Astrid, Tuffnut, Ruffnut, Fishlegs, Snotlout, Valka, Eret, mentions ofk Stoick, Grimmel, The Light Fury, and Toothless

Warnings; SPOILERS FOR THE NEW MOVIE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Dt: @theperksofbeingafangirl2

This story is a long one. Have fun reading!

________________________________________

"Where could it be?"

You watch with a frown as Hiccup runs a hand through his dirty brown hair, his fingers trailing over the map on the ground,

"Dad has searched high and low for the Hidden World. Are we sure its still there?" You ask your younger brother, who looks up at you, watching you poor a cup of tea and place your free hand on your large bump,

"I promised him I would find it. I just need to do something to make him proud," Hiccup sighs, and blinks as you sit down next to him, hand at his shoulder,

"Hiccup, there is nothing you can do that could make Dad more proud than he already was of you. You're chief for heavens sake," You explain,

"So are you," Hiccup raises an eyebrow, and you laugh warmly, a laugh you've inherited from Valka,

"Yes, but only because Im first born. Im not as great of a chief as you are," You wink, looking up at a creak from the flooring above you,

Smile dropping, you set down your cup, Hiccup rising to his feet and pulling out his flame thrower,

"Who is it? Its the middle of the night," You speak quietly, Hiccup raising a hand, then spins around, weapon drawn,

"Awe, how cute," A figure steps out from the shadows, eyes training on you as Hiccup helped you stand, arm out in front of his older sibling, "Like brother like sister,"

"Grimmel," You breathe, Hiccup glancing over, "Who?"

"Eret told me of him. The one who kills night furys," You run your hand down your stomach, Grimmels eyebrows raising with realisation,

"You're the famous wife who married a past dragon hunter? So stupid I must say. You're the first child of Stoick the Vast, you must set an example to your people!"

You clench your jaw, Grimmel holding up a dart. Hiccup quickly stands in front of you, blocking you, but the dart is instead impaled into Toothless' sleeping form across the room

"Toothless!" Hiccup shouts, teeth baring as he looked back at Grimmel,

"What do you want with us?"

Grimmel laughs, loudly, "I want your dragon. I want them all!! Ever since I was little, Ive killed dragons bigger and smaller than me. Youve got no chance against me boy,"

"Really?" Hiccup presses his fingers to his lips, sharply whistling, five forms jumping out with weapons, Fishlegs sitting up with a fake dragon mask and slurring his words, seeming he was hit by the dart instead,

"We got you," And he falls forward, out,

Grimmels laugh lowers into a dark chuckle, snapping his fingers to alert his own poisoned controlled dragons, "No," His eyes lock with yours, "I got you,"

Two dragons bust through the wood of your home, spitting out green venom that spread through the walls and erupted in flames,

"Everyone retreat! Get out of here!!" Hiccup stumbles back, swiping at a dragon, and you turn around, pushing past a table to rush across the room,

Flames envelope into a blockade in front of you, the red reflecting off your orbs, stomach tightening in fear,

"This way!" Valka takes your arm, leading her daughter to the left, outside of the burning building,

You look up, gasping, scanning the town of Berk to see every home sizzling to the ground,

. . Meanwhile at Town Hall . .

"Can everyone please be quiet!?"

Your scream brings silent to the town hall, every viking and dragon stopping to stare at the first child of Stoick,

"Yes, we are all scared, terrified even, because Grimmel now knows the amount and types of dragons we hold in our possession. But we cant fight out of fear. We fight out of the thought of loosing everything we battled for in the past, our dragons. Our home,"

You lower your head, inhaling, "When Hiccup and I are gone later in the past, we all know my son will be the one stepping up. Dont do this just for us, but for the sake of Berk and my father,"

Vikings murmur in agreement, Valka smiling softly, where you nod once, and sink down into your seat, "We'll be moving momentarily to a hidden island my brother and I found on the coast not too far from here. It'll keep the dragons, and all of you safe,"

You run a hand through your hair, sighing heavily, Hiccup putting a hand on your shoulder and squeezing,

"Let me take care of the rest. You need a break, the stress isnt good for the baby,"

You look up at your sibling, putting your hand on his and squeezing back, smiling gently,

. . Hours later . .

"Okay okay!" Hiccup laughs as the group under him lunge him into the air, catching him easily and pushing him up again, "I feel more sick than joyful,"

He is put down, dizzily grabbing onto Gobbers arm and covering his mouth,

"Heh heh," Gobber snorts, "At least your not your sister, getting sick for the past seven months straight,"

Hiccup rolls his eye's, just as your form moves past him, calling for your mother as she landed Cloudjumper, jumping off and anxiously looking around,

Hiccup watches at the two women meet up, Valka pressing her hands to the bump that held her unborn grandchild, looking up at her daughter,

"Are you harmed? Your brother?"

"What?" You breathe, "Mom, we're okay. What did you see?"

"We're being followed," Valka alerts, "Grimmel is still out for us,"

"Well what are we doing here? We need to go stop him and get it through his head thats hes not having our dragons," You snarl, Valka waving a finger and shaking her head,

"No ma'am. You are staying here. You're going to be a mother soon, you need to rest, and care for the baby whether he's arrived yet or not. Your husband can agree with me,"

You frown, turning to Eret for help, but he crosses his muscular arms and moves his eyes to you,

"Your mothers right, Y/N. I'll have Skullcrusher here with you, and take one of the other dragons. But you cant go with us, its not safe,"

"But its safe for you to go," You rub your temple, nodding and clicking your tongue, "Got it. My child could lose his father but what does that matter,"

You move away, walking towards the hut made, tapping Skullcrushers nose and directing him to follow you,

"Y/N," Eret calls in a sigh, Valka waving him off, "Its the side effects of pregnancy, dear. You should know this by now,"

Its mere four hour later before talking is heard outside, your form leant against Skullcrusher as you sung to your stomach, your own dragons head laid in your lap,

The huts curtain pulls open, Eret stepping inside, removing his armor and wincing at the burns and cuts on his arms and chest,

"You look terrible," You attempt to heave yourself up, Skullcrusher leaning his head against your back to brush you to your feet, "What happened?"

"He expected us there," Eret removes his shirt, revealing a wound across his lower stomach, "We were attacked and almost trapped,"

Your eyes scan his toned chest, hand brushing the bruises littering his chest and shoulder, before gliding your hand to his face,

"But you survived, thats all that matters. Come sit down and let me clean you up," You usher, Eret placing his large hand over yours and wrapping his fingers to envelope your small hand,

"I'll be fine. Why arent you resting?" He whispers lowly, "You need sleep,"

"Stop thinking about me for once, I wont die," You huff, thumb brushing his jaw, "Let me take care of you,"

"I know a couple of ways," Eret presses his lips hot to yours, that curled upwards as you laugh warmly and press your hand to his chest,

"Nice try Romeo. Go sit down while I get the aid supplies,"

Your husband narrows his eyes, chuckling as he slides away and sinks down to sit next to Skullcrusher,

"Were you at least able to find what he wanted with the dragons?" You sit down on Erets lap, bump pressed to his stomach, and you dab a wet cloth to his busted lip,

"Hes not too fond of Toothless and the Light Fury Hiccup talks about," Eret runs his large hands over your stomach, under your shirt to get as close to his child as he could, "The other dragons are just of use for a certain venom that can control them,"

"That sounds dangerous, and something my brother would want to get into and stop," You sigh, running the cloth down his neck to his shoulder,

Eret hisses at a pierced cut, that burned as you dabbed it. "Easy," You soothe, and put your hand over his that rested over your bump, "Easy,"

"You're going to be a great mother," Eret speaks up, and you smile after placing a bandage at his wound, looking up to meet his eye's,

"And youre going to be a great father," Leaning forward, you slowly link your lips to his, his hand sliding in your hair as you both smile, before he pulls you against him and (Dragon/Name) is pulling a blanket over you with their tail,

. . The Battles Over . .

"You've had to deal with us long enough Bud," Hiccup slides a hand over Toothless' head, the dragon closing his eyes and purring, "Now its your time to go, and be with her,"

Toothless opens his eye's, confusion flickering, then looks over at a child wail,

Walking past the crowd was the first born Haddock and Eret, a bundle of blue held in your arms,

Your eyes were blood shot red, most likely from the labor, but a smile would not leave your lips as your dragon slowly leaned in, sniffing your son,

Your dragon presses their snout to (Sons/Name)s foot, then purrs as they lick your cheek lightly,

Skullcrusher scans your child, noticing how he had somehow inherited the slight gene of Stoicks hair, but had Erets eyes and your nose and face,

"We're living our life," Hiccup whispers to Toothless, "Its time to live yours,"

Toothless had pulled away from his rider, inching towards the sister of the chief and (Sons/Name)s cries had stopped at the sight of the Dragon, a squeal causing Toothless, your dragon, and Skullcrusher to jump,

You laugh softly, free hand rubbing Toothless' snout, and you lean against the dragon,

"Its time for you to start your own family Buddy. Where they'll take after you and continue your job," You look down at your son, a tear slipping down your cheek,

"The same goes for the rest of you,"

Eret slides his arms under your child to take him into his grasp, so you could unclip the saddle from your dragon and slide it off their back,

You caress her head, nose to hers, and you sniffle, "I'm going to miss you,"

(Dragon/Name) whimpers, and you pinch your eye's shut, hearing the clicks of every Viking undoing their dragons saddles,

"Go," You slide your hands away, (Dragon/Name) blinking before glancing at Skullcrusher, and they both jump up, flying to follow the rows of dragons,

Toothless looks back, watching you slide your hand your mouth, Eret wrapping an arm at your shoulder and placing his hand at your head, lips to your temple,

You walk up to Hiccup, arms throwing themselves around his neck, his own wrapping at your torso as he silently releases a sob, fingers clutching at your back side,

Toothless frowns, but lunges off, disappearing in the clouds above,

"We're going to be okay," You open your eye's, orbs glistening as your dragons roar is heard in the distance, "We always are,"

The End

A/N: DID I DO IT RIGHT?????

#how to train your dragon 3 #hiccup haddock #eret son of eret #eret x reader #eret imagine #how to train your dragon eret #httyd 3 #httyd eret #httyd eret son of eret #valka haddock #stoick the vast #how to train your dragon the hidden world #httyd the hidden world

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reylofanfictionanthology · 5 years

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The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology St. Valentine’s Day Love Fest

This year, to celebrate St. Valentine’s Day, we wanted to show the Reylo Writing Community a little bit of love by hosting a Reylo Fanfiction St. Valentine’s Day Love Fest.

We will accept recommendations for this project until the end of February. You can find details about how to submit a recommendation to the project here.

Love Fest List #1/?

Reylo Community Recommendations

all true lovers are by addictedtoacertainlifestyle

Summary: She might seem lonely, but Ben can sense that this forest is her faithful audience, and she is nothing but alone. The birds chirp a symphony to her, and the greenery around her bows, grateful to be blessed by her beauty. She truly is beautiful, but that’s not the entire reason he is so drawn to her. It’s her Magic.

Recommendation by @politicalmamaduck and dearly: “This fic epitomizes everything I love about Reylo, and my favorite AUs (historical/fairytale/mythology). It's basically a fic that I wish I had written or was capable of writing. The writing is just gorgeous and evocative.“ and “a lovely fairytale au one-shot with a slightly dark Rey.”

Eidelweiss by aionimica

Summary: Captain Kylo Ren hires Rey, a postulant from the local abbey to be a governess for his adoptive children. As time goes on, music grows in the Ren household and the Captain and Rey must choose: love or duty?

Recommendation by crossingwinter: “Because it is the Sound of Music AU I didn't know I needed until I read it!”

A Reylo Christmas by Biekewieke

Summary: Complicated situations call for intricate solutions... So when Leia Organa asks her Personal Assistant Rey to join her on a family vacation in Mon Torri for the holidays and highlights a big bonus, what is she to do? Only catch... Leia's son is coming along...Ben Solo is the enfant terrible of the family. Broody, sullen and with a huge chip on his shoulder, the young man is notoriously difficult. Combine this with complicated family dynamics, and you'll end up with one very interesting holiday.

Recommendation by @noppoh: “It's the perfect, Hallmark-type, Christmas fic. It has all the elements -- the misunderstandings, the secrets, and covert looks -- without it becoming cheesy or cliché. I absolutely adore it.”

running on empty by Jessa

Summary: Rey's on Jakku. Kylo's about to land. Something intrigues them both.

Recommendation by tehanufromearthsea: “This is a set of six drabbles. I love it because I think Jessa makes Kylo and Rey's characters very real. She has a way of grounding them and their environment in vivid, telling details.”

You're Sick, I'll Humor You by LoveThemFiercely

Summary: Just a short, silly, sickfic from @glitzescape's Tumblr idea. It wedged itself into my brain while I was supposed to be writing something else, so here it is.

Recommendation by @nuanceismyjam: “It's short and simple and maybe a little silly, but it's also so so so sweet. I love the vulnerability of strong Ben Solo being a total baby when he's sick, and I love Rey shifting from her impatience to taking care of him. And the fact that she knows what movie he's going to ask for to the point that she loads it in the player before even asking which one he wants to watch? That makes me melt. I love me some soft!Ben, and we get that here in spades, even if it's because he's sick.”

miles we'll wander by meritmut

Summary: “I saw—a place,” she says, hesitates, forges ahead: “a planet. We were there. Both of us. I think—I think the Force was telling us to go there.”Her eyes are full of the stubborn faith that’s becoming so familiar to Ben: it draws him in.“I saw it too,” he breathes.

Recommendation by dearly: “Beautifully written canon divergence where Ben and Rey run off together.”

RFFA Writers Self Recommendations

(you’ll remember this) by addictedtoacertainlifestyle

Summary: A steady heartbeat; one look given, one returned. Again, and again. They are the waves, together in motion until the universe collapses or the Earth dries out. After that, they continue, orbit around one another like celestial bodies, perihelion and aphelion, closer and farther in a never-ending dance. Again, and again.

“I’m very proud of how it turned out. it’s my favourite fic I’ve written, because I didn’t hold myself back and wrote exactly what came to my mind. It has a very poetic outlook on things, but is still realistic in a beautiful way. It’s vague enough for people to make their own interpretations what is going on outside of the fic, but the moments described in the fic itself have that kind of mundane beauty that I love.”

Event Horizon by Arwen_Evenstar

Summary: The old, decrepit body has fallen, finally. Wasn’t that expected? After all, there was a long tradition in the Dark Side of students bringing death to their Masters. This was no different. The intent, the resolve, was there. It only needed that extra push. The girl. He felt the conflict stirring within his pupil. And, slowly, the conflict became too loud for him to ignore. Kylo would be forever marred by the Dark, there was no going back - he made sure of it. The girl could try as she might, she would never succeed in full. He would be condemned either way - there was too much Solo in him, but he carried a heavy legacy.

“It was my first solid, full story written for RFFA. It was an adventurous, exciting, tragic, love story, which ties with other stories that I am currently writing. I know its long, and perhaps its a wrong bet for me to propose it, but…I think it has so much of me in it…I had to propose it. Thank you for the opportunity.”

Syrup by cuddlesome

Summary: Rey offers Kylo her blood in an effort to get him to stop feeding on other members of the First Order.

“I love this fic because I really enjoy the idea of there being classic monster elements mixed in more with the main Star Wars canon. Vampires are really fun and Kylo is just perfect for it. I like to think about the logistics of having a terrifying bloodsucking commander in the First Order, how Snoke might control him, and Rey’s reaction to it.”

It Feels Like a Thousand Eyes by jitterygummy

Summary: "I lie awake and watch it all; It feels like thousand eyes" - Thousand Eyes by Of Monsters and Men Even with the thousands of eyes watching Rey and Kylo Ren, they find each other each anniversary. But a great deal can change over the course of a year.

“While it's an older fic, I still love how the style shows how much can change over the course of the year, and I think people might enjoy the dynamics of what could happen if Kylo had betrayed Snoke.”

#reylo #reylo fanfiction anthology #valentine's day love fest #rffa writers #mod post #photo edit #love fest list

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eighthmnth-blog · 5 years

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-------------- and he shall be levon ( and he shall be a good man ) and he shall be levon ( in tradition with the family plan )

and i oop

none of this is going to make sense. im really really tired. ive been in a hot car all day sldjskld baking. crispy. now im going to sleep before work,,, but wrow hi im r, im way too excited to be here. this intro is ?? too long but after all these years ive never learned how to stfu. i COULD have done this sooner but i also turned my brain off last night and watched baby driver for the first time and wow 10/10 would recommend sdksjdlkas i dont have discord because im living in the stone age but im available via tumblr ims if anyone wants to plot --- ill prop make a proper connection page 2mmrow,, just fuck him up. honestly. ruin him. take out the trash.

basics

[ luke hemmings. twenty-three. cismale. he/him. | muse 4b. ] levon by elton john just came on the radio and it made me think of august ferland. they’ve been in sundance for their whole life and they’re currently an administrative assistant. if you’re looking for them, try by the sheriff’s office, locals say they’re there a lot. [ r. she/them. 20. est. ]

SUBPLOT if someone asked who sundance’s bad seed is, most people would say muse 4a. always getting in trouble for one reason or another, muse 4a has just never been one to follow rules. maybe that’s why muse 4b, the sheriffs child, is so drawn to them. muse 4a and muse 4b have been hooking up pretty casually, but muse 4b’s soft nature is causing them to fall for sundance’s baddest seed while muse 4a is only interested in hooking up. will muse 4a break muse 4b's heart? what would the sheriff say if they found out?

nonsensical ramblings

the world is black and white as a child. a young august planted in front of one static plagued television, soaking up the world of cops and robbers. a mop of blond hair and a missing front tooth, beaming proudly “ MY FATHER’S THE SHERIFF “ , a hero in the boy’s mind. black & white. good versus bad.

then comes middle school, high school, and everything thereafter. it’s living under a microscope. small-town living & dealing out the law don’t tend to equate to a private life. sometimes august knows people’s business before they do —- other times the positions are reversed. it wasn’t the easiest of days, far from the romanticized lifestyle often portrayed on screen. the chill of cold shoulders never fades over the years. children told to steer clear of the ferland boy lest they find themselves under sundance’s watchful eye. the SHERIFF’S SON, an undesired spotlight. as the years come and go, he wonders how he once wore that title with pride.

they made an angel of him. almost golden. of course, the teenage years are a rocky patch for anyone. the spark of rebellion, even he wasn’t immune. eighteen and sneaking out with his father’s pistol, shooting cans and bottles --- until he puts one single bullet through a neighbor’s window. that summer spent wasting away under a scorching sun, completing mundane tasks to earn enough to pay for the replacements. it’s out of character for him, but they write it off as a minor scare --- a teenager. no one was hurt, so all’s well that ends well. right ?

he tires of daily life. the yearning for something more never dies, it just lays dormant. only rarely given a breath of life. he grows exhausted of the endless pestering and gossip tucked in church pews. of the polite smiles and polished image. ‘ when will you settle down ? find a nice girl ? are you going to take over the station ? look at how much you’ve grown. ‘twenty-three years too long in sundance.

he knew the names before he saw them in ink at the station. his father’s endless rants, the population that put grey in his hair. miscreants, that august was explicitly told never to associate with. words that fell on deaf ears and then he goes the extra mile. he can’t help but feel a hint of shame, but never enough for him to put a stop to the sneaking. the town’s bad seed --- the sheriff’s greatest adversary and the cause of most, if not all, of his migraines. then there was august, like a moth to an open flame. it must have been some ultimate form of karma when he realizes something’s changed. the rules of the game aren’t so simple anymore, there’s more at stake. just like that, he’s damned them all. the heart wants what it wants, and now he’s cast as the fool. play with fire, get burned.

1% more brainpower used here ( background broken down simply )

his aesthetic is that feeling you get when all your extended family ask about your dating life at the family barbecue. vague ??? maybe so, but it triggers something in me.

he’s dumb, and a tad naive lbh, but this is august.. the sheriff’s son if that hasn’t become,,, really obvious. in the brief readings i did beforehand, it seems like small-town sheriffs can sometimes have a bit of a spotlight on themselves and their family so i kind of envisioned him as being borderline lonely in his youth due to the fact people don’t want to find themselves under the microscope by being friends with the sheriff/’s family. i think the whole sheriff thing has been a big,,, oof in his life. there are probably places he can’t go because his dad arrested the cook in the back or things along those lines.

he’s bored. he has a wifi connection. if his family didn’t think he wasn’t going to get glimpses of the outside world and want to get the fuck out of dodge then idk my dude.

he works as an administrative assistant at the station,, so he’s mainly handling the paperwork and stuff, but id imagine he's a bit of a jack of all trades in the field. takes calls, but also probably gets sent out for the really shitty jobs like the old lady who calls ten times a day for nothing, or that she’s getting calls from scammers :))) but he ain’t going out arresting anyone or doing anything serious. just the “my cat’s in a tree” bs and getting coffee.

in the public eye, he’s probably a real golden child. volunteering, going to church, helping out wherever he can. does he have a genuine interest in any of that ? absolutely not. but it reflects well on his family and on himself. he has a reputation to upkeep. he only went up to high school education-wise, and in a town that probably isn’t too fast crime wise, he has enough free time to be active in the community.

i dont know what suffers more his brain or his heart

n sync vc: bi bi bi

before my dumbass forgets, he does have a good relationship with his parents,,, when he’s not being a fucking moron. follow your heart?? not good advice for him. his mom is currently abroad. aug probably gets his desire to run from her, she’s currently teaching english abroad. he’s v proud of her tyvm. his dad?? yeah. i mean obvs aug isnt very honest about EVERYTHING. he’s gotten good at telling white lies, but he still loves his dad. he’s also an only child so all eyes on him rIP.

i have a shitty pinterest board for him HERE there's barely anything there but yknow

he’s currently being sized for his clown shoes

thats all folks

#sundanceintro #im LATE #i spent all day driving my little brother to overnight camp in ?? the middle of nowhere #this is so messy

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tessxomarie · 5 years

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Saving You - Part I

*Hi everyone! First, I need to shoutout @hellosupernaturaldoctor for giving me advice and the confidence to even attempt this. This is my very first time writing any fan-fiction and the first time I’ve decided to post any of my writing some place other than a word doc. I’ve had this idea for this story since mid-season of the Mayans, and after the finale I put all my thoughts into a story. It starts off slow, but I promise what I have in store next will be worth it! PS, Any feedback is appreciated! - This story takes place a few months after the season one finale. Ez is now a newly patched in member, Alvarez is still working for Galindo; things have been quiet as of late, well for the most part.*

It’s a Friday afternoon, I’m just getting off of work. It’s hot as fuck outside – guess that’s the price you pay when you live in the desert. I lazily gather my purse from the backroom, before I step foot outside, I redo my hair. What was once a cute pony tail this morning has turned into a mangled mess. As my luck would have it, my hair tie snaps as soon as I go to wrap it around a third time. “Fuck.” I mumble to myself. I always wear an extra hair tie on my wrist, but I cannot have a naked wrist. “Fine, a mangled mane I will have. It’s fine, it’s fine.” I whisper to myself. If I don’t leave here now, I will lose all sanity I have left. Man, what a shit show day today has been, this heat must be getting to the kids. Two broken wrists, a broken arm, a no helmet incident and a random summer cold. I didn’t get puked or shit on, and no kid attempted to kick or hit, so I call today’s shit show a success. Just as I’m about to leave, one of my co-workers stops me, “Leah, good work today. You kept that broken arm kid really calm. Keep it up.” Elena tells me with a smile. “Thanks, Elena. I’m just doing my job, but I always welcome feedback, so thanks again.” I say to her as I head out the back door. It’s 4:30pm, I’ve been on the clock since 6am, one would think I deserve to simply go home and use my complex’s pool – oh one can dream. But nope, I’m still on the clock but I guess you could call this gig more of an always “on-call” service.

I pull up in my old school blacked out Jeep Grand Cherokee about twenty minutes after I leave the clinic to the Romeo Brothers Scrapyard, also known as the headquarters for the Mayans MC.

Chucky greets me, per usual. “Greetings Nurse Aleeah.” He says to me with a big smile and a salute. I let out a giggle as I always do whenever someone says my full name…I rarely ever go by it, but around here, I hear it more than I have in years. But Chucky, oh Chucky– how does one describe a chronic masturbator who has a good heart and is part of the biker world without truly being a biker? I guess I just did, didn’t I? “Hey Chucky, how are you?” I ask as I park and exit my Jeep. “I am well, swell actually. I have no complaints today.” Chucky answers with a big smile. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.” I say as I give his arm a friendly squeeze. “The boys need your assistance, I don’t know details but clearly someone got messed up hence why you are here.” Chucky explains in typical Chucky fashion.I roll my eyes as I stand in front of the clubhouse. “It’s always something with these boys, huh?” I rhetorically ask. Chucky nods his head and heads back to the office. I walk up the steps and take a deep breath before I enter the clubhouse. This club is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the fuck you’re going to get so it’s best you just grin and bear it. Is it just a cut from a broken beer bottle? Did a fight break out and there is blood everywhere? A bullet wound? A stabbing wound? A rat bite? Like I said, you just never know. I open the doors and pray today is nothing major. “Have no fear, your favorite RN is here.” I announce as I enter the clubhouse and strike a pose in the doorway. “Umm, isn’t it RN BSN?” Riz corrects as he stands and greets me. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite?” I reply with a playful wink and smile, it does make me truly happy that these guys acknowledge and are proud of my accomplishments. “Hola Aleeah.” Riz says to me while we greet with a warm hug, per usual. “Hey, I spy my favorite nurse!” Gilly shouts from across the room. Creeper, Hank and Taza also wave from the card table. “Greetings gentlemen, you all seem to be in one piece.” I say as I mosey around the few tables between me and the guys. “Although that pleases me, who is the one who called up 1-800-Rescue Nurse?” I sarcastically spit, which receives some laughs from the guys. “They’re in church.” Hank points towards the door. “They? Plural?” I ask looking at Riz, and he nods to confirm. “Jesus Christ.” I say palming my face. “Lee Baby!” Coco shouts from exiting church and walking over to me with open arms. “Ah, Coco Loco.” I reply with a smile and we hug. “How are you doing, Coco?” I ask after we break our embrace. “A lot better than your next two victims.” He replies, him not making much eye contact and that just gives it away – I know automatically who my victims are. “You gotta be kidding me? They got into it again?!” All Coco does is nod and look down at the floor. “How bad?” I ask. “What do you mean? How bad do they look? Or how bad is it between them?” Coco asks me. I shake my head with disgrace. I angrily take my steps towards church and I aggressively open the door. “Damn, she is pissed.” I hear Creeper’s echo as I close the door, as soon I enter the room. Looking at the table, I see them. One is at one end, the other one on the opposite end. I drop my nurse’s bag on the table and cross my arms. “You two have some damn nerve - getting into it again. Jesus. You’re fucking brothers, you are blood – blood don’t do this shit.” I yell with anger and confusion. Silence fills the air as the guys look at each other and up at me. Bishop then looks over to me and quirks an eyebrow and half smile. “Excuse my poor manners, Bish. Your boys tend to make me lose all sanity I have left at the end of a work week.” I tell him as I walk over and give him a warm embrace. “Oh Leah, you’re fine. I know this shit has been out of control recently.” Bishop pauses and looks over to the guys. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll let you handle them now. I’ll be outside if you need a referee.” Bishop exits and I just stand there, crossed arms again. Both boys refuse to look me in the eye, but instead stare each other down. “Are you just going to stand there?” Angel seethes. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Give me one good reason as to why I should fix the both of you up? Huh? Because as I see it, this is the fourth time this month…THIS MONTH! Angel, please, humor me and explain to me why the fuck I should tend to your wounds yet again? Maybe if I let you both be, you’ll learn these fights aren’t worth it.” I take a deep breath myself, and I run my hand through my tangled hair, which I then end up putting up in a pony tail right after, I’ll just have to remember to find another hair tie to wear on my wrist later. “Alright, I’m sorry I went off. You two, you two just frustrate me.” I say holding my hands up mimicking a surrender. I take another breath and look between the boys. My gaze is drawn to EZ, probably because he’s the easier one out of the two. “Okay, EZ, I see that nasty cut on your cheek, oh and your hand – good going big brother.” I say as I look over to Angel. He looks away the moment I look his way. “Shocker, EZ gets to be first yet again.” Angel chirps. “Seriously?” I snap. “I’m over here fucking bleeding, I could be dying but all you and anyone ever cares about is Ezekiel.” “Shut it Angel, just shut it, please.” I beg. I start to tend to EZ’s war wounds; some cuts, a nasty one on his cheek – I’m guessing Angel’s rings got the best of him this time around. EZ, he doesn’t say much this time I’m here. I know that he feels the same way as me – he’s tired of this back and forth shit with his brother. “EZ, no more. It’s one thing when you all call me to take a bullet out, or to give a rabies shot, but this shit – playground fights, I’m done.” I explain as I place the last bandage strip to his cheek. EZ doesn’t make eye contact, and his jaw is clenched. His knees shaking. “I know, Lee. I’m sorry you’re doing this again.” EZ tells me as he finally meets my eyes for the first time. EZ, he’s easy to read. He wears his emotions in his eyes, his eyes right now are filled with pain and sadness. This whole feud with Angel, it’s taken a toll on everyone in this club. It’s been almost eight months of this fuckery. “Remove the bandage Sunday night, it needs about 48 hours to heal. If you feel the need to remove it beforehand, clean it thoroughly. Have some of your favorite tequila tonight, and you will be good.” I tell EZ as I throw away the things I used to care for him. “Thanks, Lee.” He says as he kisses me on the cheek and walks somberly out of church. My heart aches for EZ, because the pain – physical and emotional is all over his face and body. Angel hasn’t taken his eyes off of the wall nor has he spoken. I slide my bag down the table as I slowly make my way towards him. Rubber gloves are on, and I grab his face. “Let’s see your damage.” I say, like a dog would when a human goes to check their mouth for something, Angel gives me a little tension as I touch his face. Again, no eye contact. A look of annoyance screams from his expression. I see a nasty cut on the side of his head, by his eye – a sensitive area which bleeds more than most. A black eye is also forming. “Jesus Christ, Angel.” I say examining the cut a little further. “This has to stop. I’m begging. I cannot deal with looking at you two like this, because my fear is that one day, I’m going to be too late to help any of you.” “What if it is?” He spews. I scoff, “No more.” Is all I manage to say. I take out an alcohol swab to clean out his cut. “This is going to sting, on the count of three – one, two, three.” I say as I then put the swab against the cut. A loud hiss comes from Angel and an instant reaction of mine is to grab his face and blow lightly at the cut, helping the sting not be so painful. Angel’s eyes then lock with mine, a look of shock and confusion fill his brown eyes. Angel and I, we’ve had a very interesting relationship since I first came to Santo Padre. He gave me an attitude and I gave it right back – he seemed more pissed off when I talked back than just walking away, and the more I talked back, the more tension built up between us. We started out on the wrong foot, and that’s how we have remained. He lets me care for him, depending on the time of day. Sometimes he lets his girlfriend, well I think she’s his girlfriend, Adelita, clean him up. Today, for whatever reason, he stuck around the clubhouse. I continue to blow on his wound, and I wince back in pain for him because I know it had to sting like a bitch. “Uhh, sorry. It’s a habit of mine, when I treat the kids, I have to do this; they hate it too, so that technique helps them...” I ramble and look away because I sense a bit of embarrassment, as I’ve never been “nice” to Angel. I look and reach back at the table to grab what I need next, just as I turn to face Angel again, I notice a very small smile on his face. “What?” I question, because seeing him smile legit concerns me. “It’s nothing, Leah.” He says monotone and lets me continue working on him. A few more minutes go by, and I determine that he doesn’t need any stitches, just a little butterfly work on one of his eyebrows. “Okay, that’s all. No stitches today, that cut on the side of your face, it’s a sensitive area that bleeds more than most. Your eyebrow cut, it’s an awkward cut – it’s ugly but not ugly enough for stitches. My only request is when you clean it out, could you please use both water and soap?” I emphasize. I know how these guys operate. They either use a dirty rag or tap water to clean themselves up. I turn to clean up my stuff and Angel lets out a minor laugh, which catches me off guard. I look at him and quirk an inquisitive look. Angel stands up, he turns behind his chair and lightly pounds his fist to the back of it. “You sounded just like my ma.” He tells me, in the softest voice I have ever heard Angel speak in. I offer him a small smile as I already know what that history is. Angel leaves church, and per usual no other words are spoken, no thank you’s, nothing. I stay behind a few more moments and collect my thoughts and belongings. I hear the door open, at first I’m startled but relieved it’s just Bishop. “How we doin’, sweetheart?” He asks. I let out a very deep sigh and my facial expression tells my feelings of this whole ordeal. Bishop can’t help but laugh, “I know, Lee. I know.” He tells me as he pulls me in for a hug. “I just need to go home and lay in bed and watch a trashy romcom.” I exclaim as I grab my bag. “I think you’ve deserved that, but before you go – you have a visitor.” He tells me. A look of a deer in the head-lights flashes across my face, who the hell could be visiting me? “Just come with me.” Bishop motions for me to take his hand and follow him. Nerves take over, with the Club, you never know what can happen. As I exit the room, I see the guys scattered all over the clubhouse yet all eyes are on me. “Your visitor is the biggest pain in my ass, so make it quick.” Bishop says, but I catch his playfulness I his voice and I look to the bar and I see who Bishop is talking about – Marcus Alvarez.

#Mayans MC #fanfic #My writing #angel reyes #ez reyes

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lilulo-12fanfiction · 5 years

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Nothing Breaks Like A Heart: Chapter 2 part 1

So I had to split this into 2 chapters because it’s really long. I’m not big on regurgitating content but it was a good way to set the story up further. Going forward there will be more original content with some cannon thrown in. P.S. IDGAF about Cannon if it doesn’t work well for my story.

I’d love it if you reblogged, gave feedback, etc.

Let me know if you want to be tagged

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@shreddedparchment @fanfictionjunkie1112

Nora smiled to herself as she approached Bruce Banner, Natasha and Steve. She was ecstatic to meet Bruce Banner. She hadn’t seen Natasha in a while and well Steve was another story altogether.

“Is that the only word on me?” Bruce questioned Steve looking incredibly apprehensive.

“Only word I care about.” Such a Steve Rogers thing to say. She watches as Banner seemed to relax, if only slightly.

“Well he won’t be doing it alone.” Nora beamed at the 3 of them. “Besides myself I’m quite positive that my Uncle will show his face after getting through Coulson’s information bomb he gave us last night. No way is he missing out on this.”

“Nora Stark.” The red headed assassin smiled back at Nora.

“Good to see you Rusty. It’s been too long.”

“Well Tony isn’t my biggest fan. So I’ve steered clear.” Natasha shrugged.

“Well stop it. No one cares what he thinks.” Natasha shook her head at Nora. The attitude was 110% Tony Stark.

“Hello Nora.” Steve finally spoke after observing her.

“Hello Captain. Good to see you again.” She watched as the heat rose to his face and turned to Bruce Banner before she reacted and stuck her hand out.

“Well apparently my friends here forgot their manners. Dr. Banner, I’m Nora Stark. I’m a huge fan of your work. I’m really looking forward to working with you.” Bruce tentatively shook her hand.

“You’re not scared to be around me?” Bruce looked at her small stature and assumed she’d be terrified. She shrugged.

“Why would I be?” She smiled. Her kind eyes put him at ease. She linked her arms through Bruce’s. “C’mon Dr. Banner. Let’s go do what we nerds do so the super heroes can get to work” Nora gave Steve a wink only he could see and led them towards the Helicarrier.

“Okay Bruce, apparently Loki is in Germany. I highly doubt the Tesseract is with him.” Nora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I agree.” Bruce didn’t look up from the computer screen.

“I’m going to head out to Fury. I need to see this. Let me know when you need me.” Bruce nodded again and Nora headed out of the lab and down to the main section of the Helicarrier.

As she made her way out to the main deck, she could hear AC/DC over the comms and then her Uncle’s voice. “Agent Romanoff, you miss me?”

“I see I made it just in time for the show.” She crossed over to where Fury was standing and he Gave her a smirk.

“Make a move Reindeer Games” Nora watched as Natasha landed the Quinjet to capture Loki.

“He doesn’t have the tesseract with him. And we haven’t located it yet. But the staff he carries, the one that turned one of your best parents into a puppet. I’m thinking that might help us.”

“I agree, Nora. Go let Dr. Banner know what’s going on and both of you join us back here once they’re back on this ship.” Nora nodded at the order and headed to retrieve Dr. Banner. She turned her comm on so she could listen in to their ride with Loki and was privy to the fight between the three men.

A little while after Loki was on the ship, Nora made her way back down to the main deck to discuss Loki. Dr. Banner would be joining them shortly. As she approached she heard her Uncle refer to someone as “Point Break”. She rolled her eyes and made herself known.

“Oh good. You’re all done playing swords. Did you find out who’s the biggest or did you just waste our time?”

“See that’s what makes you my favorite Stark. You’re infinitely more funny than Tony.” Natasha and Nora smiled at each other.

“What? No! Absolutely not! You’re not helping on this mission!” Tony wasn’t exactly surprised to see Nora but he wasn’t going to allow her to jump into the line of danger.

“You say that like you still have a say in the choices I make” Nora scoffed at her Uncle. “You need me. If you didn’t Pepper wouldn’t have asked me to come and Fury wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

“Nora I know you’re brilliant but we can do this without you.” Tony shot back. Steve watched on with interest.

“No you can’t. You need my memory and my professional abilities.” Nora was just as stubborn as her Uncle. This wasn’t going to end quickly.

“Your memory? What does that mean.” Nora looked over to the heavy accented voice that was sitting at the table.

“You must be Thor" He nodded. I have a photographic memory. I remember every detail of everything.”

“That sounds very useful and overwhelming.” His understanding and empathy took Nora by surprise. It was overwhelming and incredibly useful. There were some things she wished she could forget, yet instead they plagued her dreams. “And what are these professional abilities?” Thor was intrigued by this tiny human.

“I have some pretty stellar computer skills.” Before Thor could question Nora further Tony was interrupting.

“Uh hello??? I have some pretty decent computer skills myself.” Nora rolled her eyes at the exact same time Tony did and the resemblance between her and Tony couldn’t be ignored. It made Thor smile.

“Obviously you know your way around a computer. But you know full well that you can’t hack like I can.”

“She’s right Tony.” Fury finally spoke. “She hacked the Pentagon on a dare in High School.”

“You what?!” Steve was shocked and Nora stood there with a proud smile on her face. He wouldn’t have thought she would do something like that.

“Sorry Captain. Sometimes you just have to bend the rules. Especially when your sexist classmate thinks he’s superior because he has a teeny tiny appendage between his legs” Thor audibly laughed.

“Yeah that was pretty impressive. I’m still pretty proud you did that.” Tony finally conceded. “Fine. I’m not going to argue with you anymore but if you’re going to be on this mission you need something a little more protective than whatever this is that you’re wearing.” He pointed up and down her body. She was clad in a leather pencil skirt, a denim button down shirt and sky high leopard print heels. Her normally long curly hair was straightened and in a high ponytail with braids on the top of her head.

“Well I asked you to make me a suit.” Nora shot back. Thor watched on enjoying the verbal ping pong match. He liked the fire in Nora Stark.

“So you can put yourself in more danger? Yeah, not likely.” Nick Fury stood up to put an end to the bickering.

“Nora- I had some special Kevlar made for you. There’s a locker with your name on it. You can change when you're ready.”

“Thanks Uncle Nick.” Nora gave Tony a dirty look and went and sat down next to Thor. She was drawn to him for some reason. She couldn't explain it. "So tell me about Asgard and this brother of yours" Steve watched as Thor and Nora seemed to be in a bubble. He had her undivided attention. She laughed at the things he said that weren’t meant to be funny but were because of Thor’s lack of Earth knowledge. She would place her hand on his arm as they spoke. Neither of them seemed to pay much attention to the people around them. He had to force himself to pay attention to what Fury was saying. He was surprised at how jealous he felt. He barely knew her. And he didn’t ever expect to find anyone that stirred feelings in him. Not the way Peggy did. It wasn’t the same, Peggy was Peggy. But Nora somehow set off a spark inside him. The first real connection he made before coming out of the ice.

Nora sighed and sat down on the bench in the locker room. She wanted her own “Iron Man” suit. Tony refused. Nora had contemplated just hacking into his system for the plans, but she couldn’t break her Uncle’s trust like that. She didn’t want him doing this alone. Maybe now that Steve was out of the ice he wouldn’t have to. She was always afraid that when he left in that Iron Man suit he wouldn’t come back. She knew Pepper had the same fears. Nora and Tony both had lost so much. They had been betrayed by people they had loved too. He wasn’t her father. No one could ever take Grant Starks place in her heart, but the relationship she and Tony had was something beyond parent and child. They were connected by loss and pain. They were connected by their similarities. They had the same snark, the same attitude and the Stark swagger. The swagger that sometimes acted as a protective bubble. Tony was Nora’s protector. Even when he was missing he was still protecting her. He had always had a plan in place with Rhodey and Pepper to keep her safe and loved if something happened and he couldn’t. All Nora wanted to do was protect him as well.

She stood and opened up the locker with her name and smiled at what Nick had left her. It was an all black Kevlar suit that looked like leather. It had straps across her hips and boots that went over her knees. There were a number of holsters to hold weapons or technological items. She wasn’t sure where Nick had found it, but it was perfect. It held her body like a glove. She was curvy but strong. She has never been skinny. Her body wasn’t built to be that small. She had accepted her flaws a long time ago and learned how to use them to her advantage.

She headed out of the locker room with plans to head back to the lab. Her eyes caught the door that she knew Loki was behind and she just couldn’t help herself. Her credentials allowed her to enter the room. There he stood. The God of Mischief in a round glass cage.

“Hello Loki.” He snapped his head up and studied her.

“The Dróttning av Gimsteinn” Loki’s voice was almost breathless. He hadn’t been expecting to see her and the words had poured from his mouth before he could stop them.

“What did you just say?” Nora stopped in her tracks and stared him down. Loki’s eyes bore into Nora’s and he didn’t respond. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out soon enough I suppose” Loki acted as uninterested in her as he possibly could. I’m reality he was buzzing on the inside. He thought it would be more difficult to get eyes on her. Nora narrowed her eyes at him. She took a step towards him and stopped.

“I’m not going to let you goad me into a reaction. When you get bored of this and want to tell me where the tesseract is, let me know. If I find it before you tell me, I can’t help you.” Before Loki could respond, she was gone. Loki smiled to himself. She was feisty. She liked to spar. This was going to be more fun than he originally thought.

Nora was wracking her brain trying to figure out what Loki called her as she was heading back. She didn’t even know what language it was. She was about to pull her phone out and try to search for what she thought he had said when she stumbled upon Steve trying to pry a set of doors open. Captain America breaking and entering? This was surprising. She crossed her arms in front of her body and leaned against the wall.

“Need some help Captain?” She smiled with a suggestive voice as Steve jumped. He turned and faced Nora sheepishly with red cheeks. He had on hand on the back of his neck and looked impossibly adorable.

“I was…I uh…” He was embarrassed for getting caught but what really had him stuttering was Nora. No one should look that good in Kevlar. He silently chastised himself for behaving like a 13 year old. Nora shook her head and without a word pushed herself off of the wall and approached the door Steve was trying to bust open. She pressed her palm to the lock pad. It read her palm print and prompted for the 2nd security key. “Stark, Nora Margaret”. Steve froze. Was Peggy apart of her life? It couldn’t be a coincidence that she was related to Howard Stark and her middle name was Peggy. Howard and Peggy has founded Sheild together. He wondered if Peggy had any sort of relationship with Nora’s father. He wanted to ask her about it, but it wasn’t the right time. Nora motioned him inside.

“After you.” Nora followed him into the room and the door shut behind him. “Mind telling me what we’re doing in here? What are you looking for?”

“I’m honestly not sure. Your Uncle is trying to get all of Sheild’s files as we speak. He seems to think Fury is hiding something.”

“Oh what a jack ass. He’s trying to hack in on his own instead of asking me. He’s trying to prove he doesn’t need me. I could have had those files in 5 minutes, 10 tops. Plus I have access to a lot of shit around here. Sheild is my family birth right. My father would have taken Howard’s place.”

“Wait- so you agree with Tony? You think he’s hiding something?”

“Don’t be so naive Captain. Of course he’s hiding something. He’s a super spy. His secrets have secrets!” Steve laughed. “What’s funny?”

“Your Uncle literally said the same thing. Word for word.” Nora’s eyes shone with pride. “Are you going to help me look?”

She threw her arms up in a shrug. “Kind of hard to help when I have zero clue what to look for. And how do you know I’m not in on it?”

“Call it a gut instinct.” Nora liked to banter and Steve was feeling brave. He was still feeling a little green after seeing her with Thor. Now was his chance to see if she was as just flirty or interested in him. He was a God. A good looking one at that. And while he felt like an idiot worrying about it when they had more important things to focus on, he had to know. “So you’re done flirting with Thor? You two seemed to hit it off right away.” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I wasn’t flirting! Why? Are you jealous?” Nora sauntered over to where Steve was leaning over a crate. She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned over so she could whisper in his ear. “Believe me Captain, if I’m flirting, you’ll know it.”

Nora’s breath was hot on his neck and it sent a chill down his spine. He was about to respond but his attention was pulled to the container in front of him. Steve opened a container. “I think I found what we’re looking for.” Steve watched as Nora pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Dammit.” The disappointment was radiating from her voice. “Sometimes, it’s really hard to separate the spy, the head of Shield, from the man that helped me become who I am today. The person my father revered. I just can’t.”

“I’m sorry Nora.” Steve put his hand on her shoulder.

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do this Steve.”

“No, but I know that feeling. And I’m sorry that you’re feeling it now.” Nora gave Steve a small smile.

“Thank you. God this is all so messed up. Let’s go to the lab. I’d like to talk to Nick and I need to ask Thor some questions about his brother.” Steve picked up the container and the two of them headed back to her Uncle and Dr. Banner.

Nora could heat heated voices as she and Steve approached the lab. So heated that they didn’t even notice the two of them enter in the middle of Bruce’s sentence.

“…When we get a hit, we’ll have the location within half a mile.” Nora could tell he was trying to control his temper. Tony picked up where Bruce left off. The two of them were a team already.

“And you’ll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss. What is Phase Two?” Tony wanted answers. Nora knew that look in his eye.

Nora jumped as Steve slammed the case down on the counter. “ Phase Two is SHIELD used the Cube to make weapons.” Steve answered for Fury and then directed himself towards Tony. “Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.”

Nora gave Tony a dirty look. “I literally could have gotten it within 10 minutes tops. Stop trying to prove that you don’t need me.”

“Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we’re-“ Before Fury could finish Tony flipped the screen to reveal a plan for a missile. Nora pit her face in her hands. This was only going to get worse.

“I’m sorry, Nick. What were you lying?” Nora clenched her jaw. She didn’t know what to say to calm the waters because she was just as angry as the rest of them. She pulled herself from her thoughts as Natasha and Thor came into the lab.

“You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?” Bruce laughed in Natasha’s face.

“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.” Nora ignored their verbal ping pong as she went over to the monitor to check on the Tesseract. She paused and eyed Loki’s staff curiously. When she focused back on the group Fury was explaining why Sheild wanted to create these weapons.

“Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly- hilariously, out-gunned.” Nora was going to tell Nick he was right but that he should have been upfront but Thor interjected before she had the chance.

“My people want nothing but peace with your planet.”

“But you’re not the only people out there, are you? And, you’re not the only threat. The world’s filling up with people who can’t be matched, they can’t be controlled.” Fury shot back quickly. Nora couldn’t focus on what they were saying anymore. Her attention was drawn back to Loki’s staff like it was pulling her in. Bits and pieces of the argument would break through. She couldn’t focus on who was saying what as her head started to pound and the sceptor started to glow..

“Nuclear deterrent! ’Cause that always calms everything right down.”

“ I’m sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep-“

“How is this now about me?”

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?”

“I thought humans were more evolved than this.”

“I swear to God, Stark, one more crack...”

Nora felt more dizzy and tried to focus on Steve’s voice, though she wished she hadn’t. “Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?” Why was Steve attacking her Uncle? He didn’t know what he was talking about. Nora felt too woozy to feel any anger at that point.

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” He was wrong. He didn’t know what Tony Stark was about. He put on a front but he was a hero. He took the world on his shoulders. Nora remembered Tony destroying all of the weapons sold to our enemies. She wanted to scream at Rogers but her head hurt too badly to speak. Tony’s voice cut through the pain.

“A hero, like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”

“Put on the suit, let’s go a few rounds.”

“Steve, Tony- Stop” Nora begged. Her voice wasn’t loud enough for them to hear her. She was sure it was Loki’s scepter causing them to act like this. It was what messed with Barton’s head. Loki had wanted it to be here, to cause this dissension. Finally Bruce’s yelling caused everything to stop.

“IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KILL ME. BUT YOU CAN’T, I KNOW, I TRIED!” He stopped and saw that everyone is staring at him and he continued. “I got low. I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?”

“Oh Bruce...” Nora could feel his pain and anger, how broken he felt. He was holding the scepter while Fury and Natasha hand their hands on their guns. Nora was white as a sheet.

“Please Bruce. That thing is making you all act like this. Please put it down. No one is going to cage you, I promise..”

“Nora?” Tony’s voice was full of worry. She looked sick. She had barely said a word during the argument. She normally would tell Tony if he was being an ass or defend him if he was right. Steve took a deep breath, sighed and looked at Bruce.

“Doctor Banner, put down the scepter.” Banner looked down, surprised to see the spear in his hand. Suddenly the monitor made a noise, signaling the Tesseract has been located. Bruce put the scepter back on the table and walked over to the screen on the other side of the room. Nora walked over to the table and lightly touched the scepter, knowing it was the source of her pain. She just didn’t know why. She yanked her hand back and turned towards her Uncle.

Suddenly Tony turned to leave but Steve put his arm out to stop him. “You’re not going alone Stark!” Tony smacked Steve’s hand away.

“You gonna stop me?” Nora groaned. Taking steps towards the two men.

“Put on the suit, let’s find out!

“ I’m not afraid to hit an old man.”

“Will the two of you stop acting like children?!” Nora was pleading with them. Then she heard Banner yelling and then an explosion. Nora flew into Steve, he grabbed her by the waist as he and Tony fell near the entry way. Steve turned her so she would fall on him instead of the floor protecting her head and neck. The next thing she knew Steve was pulling her along with Tony.

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