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memeadonna · 3 years

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The Kingdom of Roses

You are the princess of Rusika, a kingdom neighbouring Novoselic. When one of your government’s high ranking officials is taken as a political prisoner, your kingdom retaliates by taking some of your own -- and they just might be more than you bargained for.

Hello Everybody! My name is Jess and I’ve been a longtime fan of Danganronpa, from around 2012 or 2013 when I first played the games. I wanted to try my hand at writing a reader insert for one of my favourite characters (and my first ever husbando), one Kazuichi Souda. This beautiful art really inspired me (I scoured high and low for an artist credit, but I couldn’t find one. If you know who drew it please let me know and I will give them the appropriate credit), and I wrote an x reader. I hope you all enjoy! Warnings: This work contains NSFW not suitable for readers under 18. Please do not interact with this post if you are under 18.

Monarchies were a dying form of government. Most countries had established parliaments by now, but the Kingdom of Rusika, where you were born, and a few neighbouring kingdoms held onto their royal families until the very end. Novoselic was one such kingdom, one that until a few days ago had been your ally. Your father – beloved king of Rusika – had sent one of his most trusted advisors to negotiate a trade deal with the Nevermind family, rulers of Novoselic.

That advisor had been captured and held at ransom for some unknown reason. The Novoselic Kingdom really had no idea what they were doing, did they?

Sonia Nevermind was someone you had grown up with. The two of you had never been friends, per se, but you understood one another. You were Princesses tasked with leading your kingdoms towards prosperity. Your countries were similar enough – they had once been one, but after a civil war in 926, the country had been divided in half. While Novoselic’s exports consisted of luxury goods – wine, chocolate, and cheese – Rusika’s were more practical. Your main exports were related to geothermal energy and associated technologies, or mining precious gems. Your country – the kingdom of roses – was building the future. Hers was stuck in the past, weighed down by stupid traditions.

Your father trusted you more than Sonia’s father trusted her, and so you had grown up with more responsibilities. You had learned early on the burdens of leadership, and eventually began to find her boring. You made sure she never caught on, always giving her your full attention whenever she rambled about her silly life and silly problems.

Both of your countries had hit economic booms, so what need was there to worry? Gah, her philosophy was so stupid.

Today you woke up to find that your father had arranged the kidnapping of two of Sonia’s closest friends. She had just graduated from the prestigious Hope’s Peak Academy, and had apparently invited her entire class to Novoselic to spend their last vacation celebrating.

It was strange of him to make such a decision without consulting you first. You were supposed to be queen of Rusika one day, and he always made sure you had a say in decisions. Today you were instructed to dress the part of a princess and come greet your guests. You were to show them hospitality and make them feel welcome. You might have kidnapped them, but you weren’t monsters. They would literally receive the royal treatment, and you were to be put in charge of them.

As your handmaidens helped you dress (corseting you, doing your hair and makeup, and fixing your jewelry could be a six-person job), you went over what you wanted to say to your prisoners. How the hell were you supposed to make them feel welcome?

You had never seen a person with two different coloured eyes before. You had also never seen a person with pink hair. Based on the way they looked at you, dripping in jewels and looking your part, you doubted they had seen Sonia in all of her glory yet. You smiled as you introduced yourself, trying your hardest not to look like you were studying them. You explained the situation to them, told them they were valuable political prisoners and would not be harmed or imprisoned as long as they behaved, and did not try to leave.

The man with two different coloured eyes called you a fiend, as well as many other dark names as he promised his Princess would come for him. The man with pink hair affirmed “Miss. Sonia will rescue me!” and shook his fist at you, trying his best not to look starstruck.

Eventually, you got their names out of them.

“How long will we be here?” Gundham asked you over dinner that night. “I wish to return home as soon as possible. I have responsibilities.”

Realistically, you knew it wouldn’t be a quick endeavour. You and Sonia had spent three months as prisoners in a neighbouring kingdom as Rusika and Novoselic had laid siege to the capitol. That was when you had learned she was boring. She kept to herself in her room, and almost seemed upset with you whenever you would negotiate with your captors, or walked the palace grounds like a free woman.

“As long as it takes” you answered coolly, glad that Japanese was one of the languages your family had forced you to learn. Members of the royal family having to speak thiry languages was one tradition that Rusika had kept from its time joined with Novoselic. It came in handy when negotiating with foreigners. “I cannot provide a clearer answer than that.”

“Don’t worry, Gundham,” Souda spoke up. “Sonia will come for us!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gundham spent most of his time observing the animals on your palace grounds. Your late mother had loved peacocks, so your father had taken up breeding them. She had loved many different animals when she had been alive, so the grounds weren’t exactly wanting. He enjoyed speaking with the vain birds, whistling and cooing until they would fan their elegant tails. His hamsters seemed to enjoy their accommodations too, with more seeds than they could have ever hoped to have eaten.

Souda, however, wanted to remain as unaffected as possible. He did his best to refuse any luxuries you offered him. It was only after you found out he had taken apart every electronic device in his room did you ask Gundham. The Ultimate Breeder had warmed up to you quickly, especially since you were the reason his hamsters were so well taken care of.

After Gundham cryptically told you about Souda, you gifted the Mechanic with a set of tools and new appliances to play with. Boredom could be so cruel, and the last thing you wanted was undue suffering.

Seeing him slip shyly into your study made your gift worth it. He was so awkward as he stumbled out a thanks, looking everywhere except your face. He was blushing and fiddling with a screwdriver as he spoke. “I still don’t trust you. You’re Miss. Sonia’s enemy,” he pointed his finger at you. “And any enemy of Miss. Sonia is an enemy of mine.”

“Would you like a workshop?” you asked him calmly. “I’m sure your room is a bit cluttered with all of those appliances. I just want to make your stay comfortable, I bear no ill will towards you, Mr. Souda.”

His cheeks flamed up and he stammered out a non-answer, shuffling out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Souda and Gundham had been with you a little over two weeks when the former finally cracked. He once more barged into your study, and looked you up and down. “I want somewhere to work,” he declared. He placed a crumpled piece of paper on your desk. “Here’s the list of everything I need.”

You saved the speech you were writing and logged off of your computer. “Come with me, Mr. Souda,” you stood gracefully, glad you no longer had to wear your ballgowns around him. It had always made you feel overdressed and obnoxious, especially considering he preferred to wear his jumpsuit rather than the clothes your country had provided him with. It had taken a lot to even convince him to let the servants wash the suit, let alone wear another while he waited.

In the end, you had commissioned seven identical jumpsuits for him, to match the one he already wore. At least he no longer reeked.

You paused at the door to the workshop you had set up for him. There was a guard stationed outside, but a nod from you dismissed him. Kazuichi’s eyes lit up as he observed all of the new-age tech he had to play with. He stammered out a bright-eyed thanks, and you gave him your brightest smile. You had done lots of research into what he would enjoy; he was your guest, not your prisoner. Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a month, Novoselic struck up a deal with Rusika. A hostage for hostage trade: Gundham Tanaka for your father’s cherished advisor. Kazuichi had not been mentioned in the negotiations at all, something that did not sit right with you.

He tried to pretend that he wasn’t upset he had been forgotten, but it was obvious to anybody with half of a brain he was torn up. You made efforts to spend more time with him. You had him accompany you on walks around the castle’s garden, and even took him out of the palace for a few walks around town for a change of scenery. Nothing you said lifted his spirits. He barely even looked at you now.

You watched him tinkering with his toys, but even that seemed to have lost its shine for him. He looked so sad, so bored that it made you anxious.

“May I ask you something?” you questioned on one such walk. The two of you had been caught in the rain and had sought shelter underneath a quaint gazebo. He looked back at you with a curt nod. “How is your hair pink?”

He blinked at you for a moment before he burst out laughing. It was the first time since he had come to Rusika that he had laughed, and it made your cheeks flame up as he smiled at you.

“I dye it,” he told you after he calmed down. “I first bleach my hair to take the colour out, and then I use a dye to turn it pink.”

“Colour?” You blinked up at him. “What colour is your hair supposed to be?”

Instead of answering, he removed his beanie to reveal about an inch of jet-black hair growing in at his roots. Your eyes widened in wonder. “So, it must be bleached again on the new hair?” you asked.

“Yes,” he smiled at you dopily. “It has to be done every few months or the hair will grow in its natural colour.”

“Does it feel different?” you asked. “The pink and the black?” Instead of replying, he took your hand and placed it onto his hair. Your blush only deepened as you felt how soft it was, and noticed his cheeks were bright red too as you pulled away. “Do you wish to turn your hair pink again? I will send for my stylist.”

He smiled at you, soft but genuine. “I’d really like that. Then I’ll feel a bit more like me,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing?” Souda peeked over your shoulder. You smiled tiredly up at him and you stretched as subtly as you could. You had been taking daily walks with him for several weeks now, and he would always drop by every few hours to see how you were doing, or to show off his latest invention.

“I’m looking at the schematics for a new geothermal energy plant,” you answered. “I’m trying to sort out how we can make our energy extraction more efficient.”

Kazuichi looked over the blueprints on your laptop screen. “I’d have to do the calculations, but if you merged these two pipes here-” he pointed. “-you would cut down significantly on the energy wasted.”

“Pull up a chair,” you told him. “Let’s take a look together, shall we?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kazuichi had been in your care for three months now, and he hardly acted like a prisoner. He called you “Miss” (probably because you called him Mr. Souda), and tended to barge in on you whenever he wanted. He had repaired the castle’s heating system, boosted your internet connection, and even helped you overhaul the design of your new energy plants. These plants would be 46% more efficient than the last schematic, something that amazed you. You told him repeatedly how marvellous he was, if only to see his face light up.

Lately, he had started wearing the jumpsuits your family had initially provided him with – similar to his old one but stamped with your country’s crest on the back – and had been a bit more… touchy than before. He would put a hand on the small of your back while you walked, or gently brush a lock of hair from your face as the two of you had tea.

You were not experienced in the slightest with intimacy or wanting to be in a relationship – you were certain you would learn that after you became queen – but now he was all you could think about. You knew the basics, knew what to expect from a man, but your heart was uncharted territory. You had never loved someone before, and some deep-seated fear in your heart was worried he would think you were taking advantage of him.

“I was in love with her, you know,” he told you one day while you were out for a walk. The two of you were once more caught in the rain and taking shelter in the same gazebo. “I loved Sonia.” Sonia. Not Miss. Sonia.

“Did it hurt?” you asked back, and immediately felt stupid for asking. It was none of your business, why did you want to know?

“I guess?” he shrugged. “I don’t – she never treated me like I mattered. She made me feel like I was nothing. Just a pest. Like I was disposable.”

“Sonia is a fool,” you told him. You meant it, of course you did, but at that moment you just wanted him to smile. “Your contributions will certainly leave their marks on this world. You are a remarkable person with a remarkable talent. Anybody who would overlook you is an utter fool.”

Kazuichi reached into his pocket and pulled out a small speaker. He set it on the railing, and it began to play a soft, slow song. “Will you dance with me?” he asked shyly.

“Of course,” you smiled at him, holding out your hand for him to take.

His steps were sloppy and uncoordinated, but the feeling of his warm body in your arms made you feel safe. You wanted him to love you. Love you the way he loved Sonia, and then even more. A legendary love that would eclipse all others.

When he leaned down to kiss you, you automatically tilted you head to the side. It felt like the first time and the thousandth time all at once – something new and exciting, yet undeniably right. He grinned at you like an idiot and kept swaying with you while the song ended.

“It all feels perfect with I’m with you,” he told you. “Like it all makes sense.”

“I understand,” you smiled up at him. “I feel the same way too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He barely left your side now. He would let you work, of course, but wanted to spend his every waking hour with you. He held your hand on your walks, kissed your knuckles like a gentleman whenever he greeted you, and kissed you passionately when you were alone with him. You loved watching him light up at your presence – it was like his world began and ended with you.

His greatest joy was when he got to work with you. To see you listening carefully to his advice, offering insights of your own based on your knowledge. You worked to improve both your geothermal energy plants and plan for new mines. The number of precious stones mined this year was astronomical, and it wasn’t over yet.

Your father was impressed with the improvements he had made to the schematics he had been provided with, so he was gradually given more and more responsibility (along with his freedom, of course). Eventually, he began to receive an “allowance” as payment for the work he was doing. He spent most of it on new gadgets to tinker with or gifts for you. You would often retire to your room to find a vase full of flowers or a box of chocolates, and every time you saw them you would break out into a grin you could not stop.

The two of you would text one another (he made himself a cellphone because he was “bored and wanted to try it”) until you fell asleep, and within those words he bared his soul. He told you about his horrific home life – about the man who had dared to harm him – and about the friends who had betrayed him. He told you how much you mattered to him, all of the things he would do for you. Give up for you.

When he told you about his father hitting him one too many times, you left your room and went to his. You just needed to hold him, make him feel safe the same way he made you feel safe.

You were glad you went when you did, because there was a woman dressed in black trying to drag him out of the window. You raised the security alarm, and she was apprehended. Mukuro Ikusaba – the Ultimate Soldier – was thrown into your actual prison, and you once more had trouble with Novoselic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You answered the door with bleary eyes, but seeing Souda’s tired smile as he mumbled about not sleeping was worth it. You used your new nickname for him – the word in your mother tongue that meant little pink rose – and he melted into your arms. You didn’t care that you were wearing your nightgown, or that it was early in the morning, you had your prince charming and he was safe, and he was yours. Yours.

“I had a nightmare,” he was curled up among your pillows, snuggled up under your blankets. “You forgot about me like she did.”

“I’m not her,” you reminded him, pressing a kiss to his forehead before resting your own against it. You could feel his warm breath ghosting over your lips, and as you let your eyes slip shut your hands found his. “I will never think of you as less than extraordinary, my darling.” You promised.

He kissed your cheek, slowly painting his way over your cheekbones and down to your lips. You responded wonderfully, one hand cupping his cheek as you kissed him slowly. You opened your eyes to see him staring at you with pure adoration. He wasn’t wearing his contacts, and his eyes were a light, rosy brown colour. Stunning.

“I love you,” the words slipped out of your mouth unbidden. You were speaking in your mother tongue now, but based on the smile he gave you and the whisper of “Ai shiteru” you got in return, he had understood. More than understood.

Your lips met his again, a strange kind of hunger filling you. He must have felt the change too, the atmosphere crackling with energy as you traced your fingers over his body. As he traced his fingers over yours.

You both stripped completely and held one another, clumsy and laughing and so in love. “Tell me if it hurts,” he had whispered to you as he stretched you open with his fingers. You had kissed him in response, a smiling sort of kiss that you hope conveyed more than a simple “I love you”.

Your lovemaking didn’t last long, but it didn’t have to to be perfect. It felt like it was right out of a fairy tale, and your prince charming was here to save you from everything bad in the world. You were here to save him, in reality, but you were more than happy to indulge him in his fantasies, so long as you could play a part in them.

When you were done, he wrapped you in his arms and placed a kiss to your temple. He hummed softly and played with your hair, whispering his love over and over again. You smiled up at him, tired but satisfied, and when you fell asleep your smile did not falter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since that night you had shared, Kazuichi had been coming to your bed every night. You would fall asleep together and wake up together and talk until you couldn’t anymore. When you weren’t talking, you were either cuddling or doing something less… innocent. Your mouth had mapped out every inch of his body, and you knew what to do to make him open like a flower. He liked letting you do what you wanted to him – liked giving over the power and control and letting you make him feel good.

He loved it when you spoke to him in your mother tongue – no matter what you said he would squirm and turn bright red.

“Do you like it when I play with your pretty cock?” you asked him lowly, and he let out a sweet moan as his legs fell open. He could tell from the sound of your voice if you were being sweet to him or not, and you could tell based on the noises he made if he wanted you to be sweet or not.

You wondered what fantasies swept him away as you mounted him. When you pinned his wrists and mouthed at his neck, you wondered why he was mewling so much. Did he even know what he was begging you for anymore, or did his mind just go blank every time you began to kiss his scars?

You learned every embarrassing detail about his body, and he learned every detail of yours. He loved to have you on him – worshipping him, taking pleasure from his body – but what he loved most were the quiet moments after.

The moments when you would roll off of him and kiss him slowly and tell him how good he was. When you would worship every scar again, tell him he was beautiful. When he’d lay his head in your lap so you could weave your fingers into his hair and hum him lullabies. He always fell asleep in your bed after you made love. It was one of the most perfect moments you ever shared, and you felt so, so lucky to have shared so many of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today you woke up alone. Novoselic had finally sent an envoy to negotiate Kazuichi’s release. Today was the day.

Last night, he had helped you pick out your gown. He had chosen a white one with ruffles designed to look like flowers – Rusika was the kingdom of roses, after all – and as your handmaidens helped you get ready, you felt powerful.

You went all out – you wore your crown jewels and covered yourself in diamonds. You did not want there to be any doubt that they were dealing with a princess and would negotiate on her terms. Your father had been surprised when you had asked for this responsibility but granted you the negotiation opportunity.

Mukuro Ikusaba was wearing several chains, including a rather nasty-looking pair of handcuffs. She was positioned in a chair facing towards your throne, and she glared at you as you took your seat.

Kazuichi arrived only a few minutes after you, and his jaw just about hit the floor as he took you in. You gave him a smile befitting a queen as your eyes roamed his body – he was wearing a finely tailored suit and a ring with your family’s crest on it. You realized then you wanted to cover him in jewels. He would look so good sparkling.

He bowed deeply before taking his place at your side, breaking you from your train of thought. It was an old Novoselic tradition for the ruler’s consort to kneel on a special stool while the monarch conducted business, but while Kazuichi did kneel on the plush cushion, he tugged it towards you so he could lie across your lap. The action startled you at first, but as he snuggled deeper into your skirts and looked up at you with a smile, your fingers came up to weave into his hair in the way he found comforting, and he closed his eyes.

That lasted for a blissful minute before the throne room’s doors burst open and Princess Sonia Nevermind was announced. Her entourage filed in with her, and Souda tilted his head to get a better view of them. You recognized Gundham, and vaguely recalled hearing about a few of the others from Kazuichi. Classmates, if you remembered correctly.

Sonia had brought the Yakuza boy and the Ultimate Swordswoman as backup. She had also brought a hulking man with matching scars over both of his eyes. This man was someone you had never heard of, yet he was flanked by the usual Novoselic military honour guard. You greeted her in your shared tongue before switching to Japanese. “Welcome. What brings you all to Rusika?” you asked.

The princess of Novoselic cleared her throat and began once more in your mother tongue. “Apologies for interrupting, Princess Nevermind, but not everybody here speaks our language. I would like to include our guests in the matters we will be discussing,” Souda shifted in your lap, and you continued playing with his hair, sitting with the elegance of a queen.

Sonia began again, in Japanese this time. “I demand you release your prisoners at once,” she pointed at you. “Keeping a soldier hired by my country to retrieve a prisoner does not reflect well on the alliance between our peoples. I would hate for a war to break out.”

You sighed. “As a show of good faith, I will release the prisoner Mukuro Ikusaba to you,” you made a gesture and a pair of guards removed her shackles. You could feel Souda playing with your ruffles. “Was that all?”

“We are here for the prisoner Kazuichi Souda,” she answered. “I demand you release him.”

“Kazuichi is not a prisoner,” you corrected. “He has full autonomy and can choose to leave anytime he would like.”

“You kidnapped him as a political prisoner!” Sonia snapped, eyes locked on him. “Do not tell me that he is doing… that of his own free will!”

You gave his shoulder a pat with the hand that had been in his hair and he blinked over at Sonia. “I have done nothing malicious towards him,” you answered. “I have not-”

“Liar!” Sonia cut in. “You must have brainwashed him with Stockholm. You truly are a woman with flexible legs!”

Kazuichi raised his head a bit. “Don’t talk to my Princess like that!” there was a certain bite to his words. You ran your fingers soothingly through his hair as he glared at Sonia. “Gundham knows as well as I do that we were never mistreated here. We were given free reign, and I just so happened to be appreciated. I’m not a second choice here. I’m not forgotten.”

Sonia looked visibly upset at his words. “We did not forget you!” she assured him.

“You rescued Gundham after a month? A few weeks?” Kazuichi was bristling. “I’ve been here for eight. Eight months and you didn’t even bother to see if I was okay.” Sonia watched Kazuichi lie back down. “Excuse me for being happy. I forgot you don’t like it when I’m too overbearing with my affection.” He shifted around for comfort, burying his face in the crook of his elbow before tilting it out to the crowd.

“Is he truly able to leave anytime he wants?” Gundham asked.

“I am,” Kazuichi bristled once again. “I’ve got a job and everything.”

Sonia said your name. No title, just your name. “I would like to speak with you in private, future monarch to future monarch,” she was clenching her hands into fists.

“I’ll allow it,” you gave Kazuichi a gentle pat on the shoulder and he reluctantly pulled away. You stood, and he stood with you. He followed you down from your throne, and as you escorted Sonia towards your study you noticed Kazuichi was making a beeline for Gundham.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you were alone again, the first thing Kazuichi did was help you out of your dress. He was careful as he unlaced your corset, and as he helped you step out of it. He even hung it up properly so it wouldn’t get damaged. Then he was kissing you like he was about to lose you, pulling your body close and pulling you into his arms. He carried you over to the bed and tossed you into it, discarding his own clothes haphazardly as he followed.

“I love you,” he told you assuredly. “And nothing is ever going to change that. Not a single thing they say will convince me otherwise.”

You smiled at his words. “And I love you too, my little pink rose,” you gave him a deep, longing kiss.

It didn’t matter what the others thought or said. It didn’t matter what they did. All that mattered was what you and Souda thought. Souda was here with you. Souda loved you.

And no matter who decided to challenge that, they couldn’t take him away from you.

#danganronpa #super danganronpa 2 #kazuichi souda #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda x reader #kazuichi soda x reader #kazuichi x reader #sonia nevermind #gundham tanaka #reader insert #princess reader #memeadonna

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rosemarypasta · 4 years

Text

monday afternoons ♡ 10 (end)

➤ pairing : oikawa tooru x female reader (karasuno manager)

➤ chapter warnings : slowburn (?). teensy tiny manga spoiler that you probably won’t even notice

➤ summary : You just recently joined the Karasuno boy’s volleyball team as their first year manager. As you grow closer to your teammates, you also unexpectedly grow closer to one of their biggest rivals, Oikawa Tooru

➤ chapter word count: 1708

♡ masterpost ♡

-ˏˋ chapter tenˊˎ-

FRIDAY

5:48 PM

“All right everyone! Let’s start cleaning up!” Daichi announced after Coach Ukai finished wrapping up the day’s training session. You got up from the floor and did as you were told, grabbing the first crate of water bottles so you can clean them in the tap outside of the gym.

“Today is more peaceful than usual huh, Y/N-san?” Yamaguchi smiled, bending down to pick up the second crate of bottles, “Of course Noya-san and Tanaka-san was loud as ever but Hinata and Kageyama’s noisiness is just on a whole ‘nother level right?” He chuckled at his absent teammates. “Yeah.” You smiled back as you thought of the two first years who got held back by their teacher because they flopped in their test big time. Both you and Yamaguchi would kill to see the duo’s faces when Ono sensei told them that they would have to skip club activities and retake the test.

“But since Kageyama got held back, that would mean you would be going home alone again! Will you be okay? I’m sure Tsukki wouldn’t mind if you walked home with us!” He furrowed his brows, looking at you with concern. “I’ll be fine! Nothing happened yesterday anyway.” You lied through your teeth, recalling your memories of the third year Seijoh student waiting for you in front of the school gates. Though, you weren’t in any imminent danger so you comforted yourself with that thought as you lied to your friend.

The clean up session went by smoothly as usual and you said your goodbyes to your teammates to welcome the weekend. Yamaguchi was still concerned over you as you waved at him but thankfully Tsukishima dragged him off before he could ask you to walk home with him again.

The walk home was relaxingly quiet, only filled with the sound of your own footsteps and muffled car sounds from a distant street. You’ve been distracted the whole day as your brain kept replaying your encounter with Iwaizumi. And as if the world hasn't given you enough of your daily dose of Seijoh students, they decided to throw in another one different from last time.

Your feet stopped moving as the image of a brunette boy standing with his face down in front of your house. You couldn’t see his face and his hair was slightly different from usual but you knew who he was.

“What the fuck.” was all you managed to say as you stand steps away from the uninvited moping boy. As soon as the words left your mouth, the boy whipped his head up towards you, showing his dark circles even from afar.

“Y/N! I-” He started, about to run towards you but stopped last second as he saw your bewildered expressions on your face. You hated how seeing his hurt expression made you subconsciously feel bad for him. You weren’t supposed to feel any pity for him whatsoever but staying angry felt like the hardest thing to do in the moment.

Oikawa looked up towards you once again, his eyes slightly red, hesitating before speaking again. “Please let me explain. I know I’m supposed to do this ages ago but p-please.” His voice breaking towards the end.

You bit your lip as you let him continue.

“I was an idiot. I know I was. I took out my childish and petty anger towards Kageyama onto you because I’m such a selfish asshole.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t know how much you know but considering how you ghosted me, I guess you know the main idea. Yes, I did want to mess with you and pretend to be interested in you.”

Your breath hitched as all the thoughts in your mind were true. He had always been faking it and never found you remotely attractive. He only saw you as a toy to play with. You didn’t know who to be more mad at. Him or you for getting ahead of yourself and thinking you even had a chance with Oikawa.

“And I never meant to fall in love with you,” His voice was soft but was still plenty loud enough for you to hear.

“But I did.”

You cocked your head forward in shock. You stared at the boy in front of you without blinking, “I-I’m sorry, what?”

“I love you, Y/N.” His voice broke again. “I know what I’m saying is so unfair and so ridiculously insensitive but I’m telling the truth. I do love you.”

He took a deep breath as he fiddled with his fingers. His breath was shaky and his shoulders sagged low. “I only meant to go out with you a couple of times but time flies by so fast and I unconsciously kept asking you out because I wanted to see you so much. Being with you was so unexpectedly fun and you were just amazing to spend time with. I loved being with you so much that every Monday afternoon I would sprint my way to the station so I could see you quicker. I would fall on my way sometimes but I didn’t care. I just wanted to see you.”

You were speechless. All you could do was stare at him with your mouth hanging wide open. You were feeling an array of emotions ranging from confusion and glee.

“So please, Y/N.” He cried out softly as he started to slowly walk over to you, “let me make it up to you.”

“Give me a chance to make it up to you.” He grasped your idle hands and brought it up to his face where you felt his hot cheeks and tears against your bare hands.

MONDAY 3:10 PM

“Eh? Brazil? That’s so far away!” Yamaguchi stared at the red haired boy with bewildered eyes.

“Yep! I guess I won’t be attending get-togethers in the future.” Hinata smiled.

Two and a half years have passed. The third years and second years have long graduated and left the club in the first year’s hands. You’ve gone through all highs and lows of high school with the other four boys.

Two and a half years ago, you wouldn’t think you could fall in love with a sport you can’t even play. No matter how hard the boys tried their best at coaching you, you still can’t manage to spike a ball without somehow hitting it out of bounds.

“You sure you don’t want to come with us instead and get ramen, Y/N?” Hinata pouted as the five of you were inching towards the school gates.

“I’m sorry guys, but I really have to pass.” You sighed though a soft smile was evident on your face. “And Hinata, don’t get too attached to me, a certain someone will get jealous.”

“Nah he wouldn’t get jealous, that’s ridicu-”

“I would tho.”

The four of you stopped in your tracks to turn towards the setter who evidently looked confused. “Wow, never thought the king would be the jealous type,” Tsukishima scoffed, “gross.”

“What! How could you get jealous over that! I’ve watched you walk Y/N home for three years now and I’ve never said anything!” The red head bickered, punching the setter playfully on the stomach.

“T-That’s because I’m a man!”

“Damn, Kageyama, did Nishinoya-san teach you that?” Yamaguchi laughed at the odd character the raven haired setter had adopted last second.

“Sorry guys, I gotta run.” You loved spending time with your teammates especially how they get to be their rowdy selves since they finally got away from their juniors after retiring from the club but you forced yourself to pull away just for the day as you caught a glimpse of the familiar man waving at you from outside of school grounds.

“Hmph, fine.” Hinata pouted, crossing his arms dramatically.

“Later.”

“See you tomorrow Y/N!”

“Bye.”

You waved back to all of them before turning at your heel to run towards the man up front. “I’m sorry, Hinata forgot his wallet so we had to wait for him.” You explained out of breath.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Oikawa hummed as he patted your head. “Should we go?” He smiled at you, opening the passenger seat of his door to which you smiled back and nodded at.

The rest of the boys watched as the car they were so used to seeing picking you up grew smaller and smaller in the horizon. Yamaguchi’s eyes wandered over to his blonde friend who looked more fixated at the car than the other two were.

“Tsukki? You okay?” The retired captain said softly over the background of the bickering middle blocker and setter.

“I’m fine.” Tsukishima sighed, a forced smile crept up his face.

6:49 PM

“Hey.” You called out.

“Hm?” Oikawa’s muffled voice replied.

“Remember how we first met?” You said absentmindedly as you scrolled through your phone. OIkawa’s head finally left the crook of your neck and his brilliant brown eyes met yours.

“I wish I could. I was such an idiot.” He muttered before diving under the covers of his bed. You sighed in satisfaction. You loved bringing that topic up because you knew how much he hated it and how he acts all flustered about it. It was truly one of the rare ways to see the different and vulnerable side of Oikawa you rarely get to see.

“But you’re my idiot.” You hummed, diving under the covers as well before showering his head with kisses.

“You’re cruel.” He pouted. Though it was dark under the covers, his perfectly soft lips still glistened. You leaned in to give him a soft peck, “But you love me”

Oikawa’s fingers traced your jawline before cupping your cheeks, bringing them closer towards him before giving you a long sweet kiss. The butterflies in your stomach went crazy as soon as your lips got in contact with his again. No matter how many times you’ve done it before, the butterflies never seem to disappear.

“I love you, Y/N.” He messily slurred out as he pulled out from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his.

“I love you too, Tooru.” You giggled before going in for another kiss on another fine Monday afternoon.

previous: -ˏˋ chapter nine ˊˎ-

A/N:

Gah! It’s finally done! My first ever Haikyuu fic is completed :’)

I started to write the plot three months ago and I never knew it would get any attention what so ever lmao. And honestly, I don’t know how my first fic would be a reader x oikawa one cause I truly hated Oikawa’s guts three months ago but I guess that hatred translated a bit to the plot. (I don’t hate him anymore uwu he’s baybe to me now)

I even impulsively added a lil kagehina for some spice HAHAHA and um someone get a love interest for Tsukki ASAP!!!

But thank you so much for reading this! I never thought I would get so much support on this and I plan on making even more fics!

I’m sorry if there was more drama and minimal fluff with Oikawa :’) And sorry if you thought the ending was rushed but I tried my best and I’ll try even harder next time!

Though I plan on making more x reader content, I’ll probably release more ship ff (mainly tsukkiyama, kuroken & bokuaka maybe?) Since that’s what im more good at.

Thank you everyone and I hope to see you in my next project!

(also i haven’t proof read this cuz i’m sleep deprived rn and i have school tomorrow so forgive me for any mistakes)

tag list (let me know if you want to stay on my normal tag list):

@hey-there-demonss @bumbledunce @teasbees-knees @angrylittlezizi @hvneymun @yeetabish @fandomlover-universe @air-wreckaa @siriiel

#oikawatoru_mondayafternoons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru #oikawa tooru #tooru oikawa #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #hinata shoyo #oikawa #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #fan fiction #haikyuu fan fiction #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu imagines

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

TLTNL- PERCY AND PADFOOT

Lily did not take the book with any amount of happiness. She couldn't stand the idea of just casually going on about Harry's life while that tyrant was torturing her son on a weekly basis now. The only remote bright spot she could picture was the end of the year where hopefully she'd sustain something far worse than having to leave the job. She took the book from Remus very grudgingly and trudged back to her spot next to James in a heavy silence, only Harry still seemed anxious to try and pretend like that part of his life was no big deal.

Harry was first to wake up in his dormitory next morning.

"That's a surprise," Remus said conversationally enough, he could still be angry and keep things light for Harry's sake. "I'd think you'd have to be dragged out of bed with all your sleepless nights from before."

"Guess my brain was still wired for school," Harry shrugged with a smile at him for the attempt.

He lay in his bed and savored for a moment it was finally Saturday, the first week had dragged on as if one long History of Magic class.

"Gah, can you imagine the horror," Sirius shuddered.

"Sounds nice actually," James snorted, "one nice long week to nap."

He collected himself and went down into the dormitory with his school bag, finding it much tidier than when he'd went to bed amongst the candy wrappers and loose scraps of parchment, along with Hermione's hats. He only vaguely wondered how many house-elves had been set free whether they wanted to be or not. *

"Really Harry? You didn't realize the problem with Hermione's plan? You were the one who had to trick Dobby into getting that sock instead of just giving it to him yourself," Lily frowned at him in confusion.

"I honestly thought Hermione had found a way around that, and hadn't questioned her. Thought she really knew what she was doing," Harry shrugged.

"Well it's nice to know she's not infallible in her logic sometimes I guess," James snorted.

Harry uncorked a bottle of ink and stretched out a fresh sheet of parchment, but hesitated over what to put down, suddenly appreciating his friends vague letters over the summer.

They all perked up with interest at that, they'd been assuming Harry had just been fixing to start on some homework or some such, but this was even better! Sirius was full blown smiling now that Harry really was going to write to him about anything!

He wanted to write to Sirius about everything that had been going on this week, but not in so many words anyone would know what he was talking about. But how to do so without anyone else knowing?

"Very carefully," Remus smiled.

"Or you could charm it so that it only shows you the words when you give it a very vague command," James grinned.

Harry looked a bit disappointed he'd never thought of that, he really wished he had asked his Marauders how they'd charmed their map to do that.

Finally he began with dear Snuffles, and began with a pleasant enough greeting before going into detail about the new Defense teacher, who was about as nice as Snuffles' mum.

Sirius snorted violently before full blown laughing. Then he couldn't seem to stop for a moment. Lily looked on at him with a touch of concern for this reaction, Umbridge's horrid ways set her mind racing with every foul spell she knew to use on that woman for what she'd done to Harry. Just what on earth had Walburga Black done to Sirius for him to clearly be agreeing with Harry like this? She longed to ask, but respected it was his right to tell her if he ever wanted to.

Harry then got to the point, saying he was sending along this letter because what had happened two summers ago happened the other night in detention with Umbridge.

"That was incredibly vague," Remus beamed with pride.

"So, goal met then?" Harry smiled sheepishly, he'd been a little worried they were all going to tell him off for contacting Sirius considering how worried they'd all been about him joining him at the train.

"Absolutely," James nodded, "you're already a natural at this."

They were all missing their biggest friend and hoped to hear from him soon,

"That was a little on the nose," Lily giggled.

"Still credit for trying," Sirius chuckled.

then he signed off. He reread this letter several times, trying his best to find a hole an outsider could find, but he was sure no one could detect anything about the contents or certainly who it was meant for.

"Definitely not, you're safe on all counts," they all agreed, causing Harry his first real smile since he'd been back at school.

Harry hoped Sirius would pick up most of all on the mention of Hagrid, but did not want to ask directly in case it drew attention to his absence.

"I'm sure he'll be back in no time," Lily said with more confidence than she really felt. She was very worried about Hagrid as well, what was taking him so long?

Considering how short the letter was, it had taken him some time to do it. By now others were arriving downstairs, and Harry hastened out of the common room off for the Owlery. He ran into Nick on the way, warning him against going his current path as Peeves was planning a joke involved the bust of Paracelsus.

Harry asked if this involved the bust falling on his head?

"A classic then," James smirked.

Nick agreed in a bored voice that was the funny part.

"How on earth could he be bored by such a thing?" Remus drawled.

Pointing out subtlety had never been Peeves' strong point.

"Well that's fair enough," Sirius agreed.

Nick was off to find the Barron to put a stop to this, and he'd see Harry around.

"Merlin, doesn't anyone let people have some fun in that place," James sighed.

Harry ended up taking a longer but safer route up to the Owlery, and only came across Mrs. Norris. The cat gazed at him for a moment before darting off, Harry calling after her he hadn't done anything wrong, though the hike of her tail was one of going to fetch her boss.

"Maybe she was just mad you stopped her heading that way as well," Sirius snorted, "I've caught her a fair few times trying to go up there pestering the owls."

Ignoring the instance he found the straw strewn floor covered with the usual owl droppings and regurgitated meals, spotting his snowy white owl up in the rafters. Once she'd perched on his shoulder so he could tie his note to her, he instructed for her ears alone that though this was addressed to Snuffles, Harry urged his owl to find Sirius.

"You didn't bother calling me that last year, why start now?" Sirius chuckled.

"Now I actually felt the need for it," Harry muttered, shifting just a bit with unease as the safety of his godfather came into question.

She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before taking flight, and Harry watched her fly off with the most calm he'd felt in a while. The grounds were still and at peace in the morning light, the trees of the Forbidden Forest only swaying gently. It was as he gazed at these though that one of the skeletal horses from before came swooping out chasing a bird and when it missed, dived right back down out of sight. The whole instance happened so quickly Harry swore he could have imagined it.

"Can you imagine how many times that happens a day and no one sees it," Sirius looked a bit amused.

"Imagine if they roamed the grounds more than the forest," James agreed. "People would be constantly knocking into them, and seeing things happen because of those and no one would be able to figure out why except those that saw them."

"You lot are enjoying this idea far too much," Lily tried to repress a smile at the idea by telling them.

"What can we say, we have a certain fondness for invisibility," Remus smirked.

The Owlery door opened behind him. He leapt in shock and, turning quickly, saw Cho Chang holding a letter and a parcel in her hands.

"Hey, look who finally gets a moment alone with his crush," Sirius threw his hands up in victory.

"I don't find the owlery the most romantic setting," James smirked.

"Let's see if Harry can get through with this one without making a fool of himself," Remus snickered, "or this time it'll be entirely his fault."

"Your encouragement is the limit," Harry grumbled.

They both stammered a greeting to each other at once, Cho quickly explaining her end she was coming up here to deliver a birthday present to her mum.

Harry couldn't think of anything to say to that, his brain had jammed. He wanted to say something funny and interesting,

"Harry, you have yet to say that, ever," Sirius smirked, achieving his goal in getting a rise out of Harry who simply scowled at him for now.

but the memory of that horse now fresh had his mind struggling speech at all.

What came out was a gesture to the clear blue sky, and his pointing out how nice this was. Then he felt like crawling under the nearest rat skeleton and never coming out. He was talking about the weather!

"Considering you've never had a proper conversation, starting casual is probably best," James said fairly.

"Could have asked something more direct, like what she'd gotten her mother," Lily objected.

"Or I could go read this in another room without you lot," Harry huffed to try and get them to stop.

"You wouldn't dare," Sirius gasped.

"And miss out on our brilliant commentary?" Remus looked a touch offended.

Lily started giggling a bit when Harry didn't back down from his threat as she turned back anyways.

Cho at once agreed this made perfect Quidditch conditions.

"Well I like her," James beamed at once.

"A very good point she managed to steer right into that sport," Sirius agreed, which Harry supposed was better than them picking on him, so he let it go.

Then she asked if Gryffindor had a new Keeper yet?

Harry agreed it was his friend Ron, whom Cho remembered as the Tornado hater.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate the team," Remus said fairly, "just the fans who suddenly like them."

"Entirely not the point," Lily rolled her eyes at him.

She asked how his tryout had gone, and Harry confessed he hadn't been there because of his detention.

Cho met his eyes then, only half way done attaching her parcel to her owl, as she stated how foul that Umbridge woman was, putting him in detention for telling the truth about...of how he died.

"Oh look, another supporter," Sirius said quickly rather than letting Harry dwell on that again for a moment, "that's three to two."

"Are you going to keep a tally of everyone in the school?" Harry asked with some bemusement.

"Don't tempt him," James sighed.

"He's already not doing a good job anyways, it's five to two counting Ron and Hermione," Remus reminded.

"Those were given," Sirius brushed him off.

"Not if you're going to do a complete poll of all 500 something students-"** Remus began disagreeing, but Lily finally cut through the lot of them.

She kept Harry's eyes as she told how brave it was of him to stand up to her like that.

Harry felt his insides inflating so much he was sure he was suddenly floating off the ground a bit.

"That'd be a sight," James snickered at the idea.

Who cared about a stupid flying horse; Cho thought he'd been brave.

"Priorities," Remus agreed lightly.

For a moment, he considered accidentally-on-purpose showing her his cut hand as he helped her tie her parcel on to her owl . . .

"I'm not sure of the reaction you were hoping to get with that one," Lily said in disgust.

"I certainly wouldn't find that braver, but stupid on your part for not saying something about it before now," James agreed with a hard look at Harry who chose now to check to see if his shoelace was still tied.

Before he could act on the impulse, the door burst open, with Filch marching into the room on a mission. He locked eyes on Harry at once and demanded his mail from him, saying he'd been given a tip about the order of Dungbombs he was to be placing.

Lily puffed up her cheeks before letting the air out slowly to make sure her voice came out neutral as she asked, "why would he think that?"

"Maybe it was someone playing a prank?" Harry brushed off, not wanting to think much of it as he was still caught on his Cho interactions with a smile.

"Harry, you don't find it just a bit concerning someone was trying to take your mail from you?" Remus wheedled to try and keep him on track while everyone's eyes were still narrowed with dislike over this.

Harry did rethink things over, and he certainly felt a ball of anxiety forming in him at the thought now, but he was finally enjoying just a bit of his time remembering school again and don't want them to keep ruining it with suspicions, so he just shrugged again.

Lily hoped that meant nothing did come of this moment, rather than worrying at her lip for the implications of something she did not like.

Harry crossed his arms in defiance at once as he demanded who'd told that, and Filch just brushed him off saying that wasn't the point and to hand over his mail now. Harry was entirely grateful he hadn't dawdled in sending Hedwig off, as he told Filch as much.

His eyes narrowed with further suspicion, as he demanded if Harry still had it on his person in hiding.

"What's he going to do if you had?" James snorted, his old joy of tormenting Filch quickly rising to the top.

"Surely, it'll involve whipping or something," Sirius snickered, "that'll make the clothes come right off."

"Urgh," Lily grumbled, she'd never taken Filch's threats so lightly as the lot of them, but then she supposed, she'd never had to suffer a detention with him either so she could see why they played this off as a joke.

Cho jumped in then saying she'd been here when he did send it off.

"Are you sure she's not a Keeper?" James threw his head back with laughter, "because I think she is."

"And you say I come up with bad puns," Sirius snickered along.

Filch glared between the two before turning back to the door, but he froze with his hand on it and still angry eyes on Harry as he began to threaten if he got one whiff of a Dungbomb from him...

"You'll what? Come on man, finish your threats, it's far healthier," Remus said almost encouragingly.

He stomped out of sight then, Harry waiting till he was long gone before thanking Cho for backing him up. She said she didn't mind at all, before asking if he really had been up here ordering those?

"She asks after defending you," Lily giggled.

"Proper timing," James agreed.

Harry said no, and she at once went on to say why Filch had thought so then.

The two remained in silence then as Cho finally sent off her things and they left, waiting until they hit their departing corridor before Cho said she'd see Harry around.

He agreed at once, and the two departed both smiling.

"Lookie there, finally making some progress," Sirius couldn't quite keep the mocking tone out of his voice even as he applauded Harry.

"Looks like third time's his charm, he's beaten Prongs out by a mile," Remus agreed.

"Come on, 394 really isn't that bad in comparison," Sirius put on James' voice in a fair impression.

James chucked a pillow at him while Lily kept going.

Harry went all the way down to the Great Hall, for once ignoring any lingering stares or whispers as he kept remembering her saying how brave she thought he was...

He greeted his friends with the cheeriest morning he had all week.

"Is that all it takes putting you in a good mood?" James huffed, still giving his two friends the stink eye. "Chatting with a pretty girl? Maybe we should try and convince Andromeda to come over next time you're in a bad mood."

"I don't think the prelude to that conversation would be worth it," Harry rolled his eyes.

Ron eyed Harry with surprise for this mood.

"It's sad he's surprised to see you happy," Sirius snorted.

Harry fibbed it was the idea of Quidditch, which Ron only reluctantly agreed to, as he asked Harry if he'd go out with him even earlier than practice so that Ron could have a warm up before even then.

"He wants to train before training, Merlin I want to cry just thinking about it," Remus groaned.

"Don't know what you're talking about Moony, I'll take some hits with the ground over the pummeling my brain took over homework," Sirius shrugged.

Harry agreed at once, but Hermione cut in she seriously didn't think they should.

"I would never say any such thing, why would Hermione imply otherwise?" Sirius demanded while Harry chuckled fully again at that joke.

They were both really behind on homework as is- the two boys were thankfully saved anymore by the morning owl arriving, and Ron tried to delay further by asking if there was anything interesting in there.

"I'm sure the removal of Fudge from his Minister position wouldn't keep her from talking about that," James rolled his eyes.

She flipped through a few pages while saying there was nothing of note, before reaching a ways into it and whispering a sudden concern for Sirius.

Lily choked hard as she spat the name out in surprise, and James wasn't going to sit around and wait for her to get her breath back as he lunged forward and took the book away from her, reading out in a fevered haste-

Harry moved so fast he tore the paper in half, leaving the piece Hermione had been reading still in her hand, which she practically ignored as she read out the content for the boys that the Ministry had received a tip-off that notorious mass murderer Sirius Black may be here in London.

His face was going red, he had yet to take a breath, so Lily reached forward and placed her hand on the back of his neck, using as calm a voice as she could manage, "breath James, he's still fine."

"Right, yeah," he said jerkily, some normal color returning to his face as he studied the words and then glared up at his best mate.

To his infuriation, Sirius just shrugged with a bland look in place, saying, "look at it this way Prongs, even if I do, I'll know how not to get caught that way."

Remus' hands twitched, he really was going to start strangling him here in a moment if he didn't stop playing this off as a joke.

"Sirius, this really isn't the time for jokes," Harry stunned them all by snapping, his face bone white as he watched him. "How do you think I'll feel when-" his vision blurred white before he could say anymore, beginning to convulse and clearly suffering for trying to remember something.

Even beginning to guess what that could be had all of them breathless with fear, but Sirius rounded himself back enough, talking earnestly but softly to Harry now, "alright pup, you got it. No more making fun of Prongs no matter how dramatic he's being."

Harry's vision swam as he focused back on Sirius, something dark in him warning he didn't want to remember the warning he'd almost given. He believed that feeling, because the first option it meant just couldn't be true, he couldn't lose Sirius. So, it must be something else, Sirius just got really hurt or something...

It was the only conclusion any of them could comprehend, the alternative wasn't bearable. Lily had to gently pry the book from James' death grip as she went back to her spot, ignoring her own shaking voice for that heart stopping moment.

Harry began muttering furiously about how Lucius must have done this, he had seen Sirius at the platform.

Ron began in surprise when this had happened,

Remus forced himself to roll his eyes, to focus on this detail that Ron really hadn't noticed any such thing.

Sirius was also restraining himself from saying he didn't even blame Ron for not focusing on such a stupid little detail, but he didn't think that would be well received right now considering his last throwaway comment.

but the other two shushed him as Hermione read out the rest of the article about what would await him when he was found. She concluded then that he just couldn't leave the house again period,

Sirius turned as white as Harry had just been. If that rat was never caught...he couldn't do it, he couldn't go back to prison again, one that was somehow conceivably on par with Azkaban...

Dumbledore had warned him not to after all.

"I don't give a damn what Dumbledore said," Sirius snarled with absolute conviction. "I'd rather die outside that house than be a prisoner inside it again."

He crossed his arms defiantly, waiting for someone to argue with him, but not even Harry could bolster himself to do this. If he'd had to go back to living at the Dursley's full time, even for his own safety...he'd be doing something desperate as well.

Harry stared morosely down at the bit of paper he'd ripped off, his mind on other things besides the add for Madam Malkin's in his hand, but then tucked in a miniature article right below that was something else that caught Harry's attention.

"Not more on-" Remus pleaded, having to resist the urge to grab Sirius and not let go until those thoughts of his were no longer an issue.

"No, no," Harry murmured, still not back to his normal color, "something other than Sirius caught my attention, if you can imagine."

Sirius managed a giggle that didn't quite hit normal, but if Harry was forcing himself to move past the moment than clearly, they'd over read his reaction, something else must be going on...not that Harry just couldn't bear to understand his own thought, that wasn't an option.

He at once laid this out for the others to see, to which Ron instantly said he was good on robes.

James managed only a semi hysterical giggle for that.

Harry ignored him and read out the bit that was barely four sentences long about how Sturgis Podmore had been arrested for trespassing at the Ministry. He'd been caught trying to break into a high security door. The man had refused to speak in his own defense and was to spend the next six months in Azkaban.

No one spoke while Lily read out the charges, but by the time she'd finished and looked up in stunned disbelief, she found them all slack jawed. What they were hearing wasn't possible. Not the Sturgis who'd just been inducted into the Order, had gone to Dumbledore and begged the man to let him help in any way possible after he'd witnessed a muggle child beaten in the street. So how on Earth had he somehow managed to get himself tangled up into stealing from the Ministry? Sent to Azkaban? Why had he even wound up there, that bit about refusing to speak for himself stuck out more than anything, as surely Dumbledore would have stepped in. If he had for Harry than they couldn't imagine he wouldn't have for a faithful Order member as well...but then again, they also already knew of at least one instance where he'd let an Order member go to Azkaban without speaking a word for him. If he could do that to Sirius, they'd believe he could do that to anyone.

Harry was less following that train of thought and more trying to understand how someone from the Order had done that, but his first thought was a frame up. The man had been conned into it somehow... then he went cross-eyed in pain. He'd already suffered one memory blast a second ago for something far more precious to him regarding his godfather, he wasn't going to be pressing on this.

Lily was still waiting for someone to say something about this, but it was clear no one really could, this was too much happening back to back and they needed a minute to process, so Lily was hoping reading about Harry go through this would help.

Ron recalled him as a recently absent member of the Order-

Hermione quickly shushed him before he could go on about that, while Harry hissed he'd been given his stint just for trying to get through a door?

"Oh, that part wasn't so surprising," Lily murmured, "the Ministry takes their breaking and entering very-" she broke off with a nasty glare at Sirius, who managed a real smile and almost a pout for Lily not slipping up.

Hermione told him not to be silly, it wasn't just because of the door. What had he even been doing at the ministry at the time?

"I'm sure if they knew they'd put that in the story," Remus frowned.

"Maybe not," James disagreed, "could be something very secret and important, don't want word spreading around about it."

Ron muttered if this happened on orders from the Order?

"I, could be I guess," Sirius struggled, though he really had a problem understanding what the Order would have to do with the Ministry when they were so at odds.

"If so, then him being in Azkaban is all the fouler," James snarled in outrage.

Harry recalled that it didn't seem likely, as Sturgis had been absent when they were all headed to King's cross, he didn't seem to be doing much work for them lately.

"Perhaps he just wasn't doing this at that time, I'm positive he came around and explained himself before going on for more work," Remus reasoned out.

Ron instead offered up the idea it was all a frame up. What if the Ministry had lured him there, and then set a trap for him to get caught so they could pin this on him.

They all considered the idea for a moment, but not everyone was entirely convinced. Lily at least hoped the Ministry would never fall that far, but she still also held out hope there was something else going on they just couldn't get information from that about. Harry also wouldn't know, leaving them in the dark on this.

James and Sirius seemed to liken to the idea, in fact it explained a lot of his past behavior if he was now regularly being conned up there and then didn't explain this until after the fact to the Order for security reasons.

Remus found it plausible enough, though still a bit too underhanded for the Ministry at this stage. From all accounts, they were still working on discrediting Dumbledore, and though making one of his associates into this light was a next step, why make the piece so small then? They'd have made this front headline news if they were pushing for this tactic, yet it seemed a miracle the piece was in the paper at all. No, he still thought something else was going on here.

Harry found this too far fetched, but Hermione was impressed at this and found it plausible.

Then she folded the paper up and moved on to saying they should start with their Herbology homework.

"How on Earth does she flip from that to homework?" Remus demanded, absolutely derailed from his train of thought.

"I'm sure Hermione can manage to switch any topic to essays," James scowled for this subject being brought up and then cut off so quickly, he wanted to know what was really going on with someone he considered a friend.

If they were lucky they could start practicing McGonagall's Inanimate Conjures Spells before lunch.

Sirius tisked at once, caught at once from his own speculation. "Don't know what she's on about, they're going to play Quidditch."

Harry felt a small twinge of guilt as he watched her go through their list of work, but that blue sky outside really was exhilarating, and he hadn't been on his Firebolt in ages...

"So, you'll be heading down to the pitch soon," Sirius waved impatiently to get there.

Ron reassured Harry that they could go through all that tonight, while the two headed down brooms over their shoulders, Hermione's dire words about how they were going to fail every one of their OWL's still fresh in their ears.

Remus started snickering while nobody bothered acting surprised, even if Lily's mouth did thin just a bit in disapproval of this.

Plus they had all day tomorrow...then he asked if she'd really meant it about them not being allowed to copy from her?

"Did she ever actually let you?" Lily asked astounded, as she hadn't at all picked up on this.

"Sometimes she 'accidentally' left her work out while she ran off to the Library for something," Harry chuckled, "but she never just pushed it over for us."

Harry said she'd meant it alright, but Quidditch was important to them to, they had to stay on top for the team.

"Priorities," James agreed without a drop of sarcasm.

Ron agreed at once, they had time to do it all.

"I hope you remember that when you're up studying until Sunday," Remus winced in pity at the idea.

Harry refused to let his gaze linger on the Forest as they took to the grounds, that flying horse wasn't hurting anything and he had more important things to think about.

"That's fair honestly," James agreed, he hated lingering on things that weren't of importance as well, though he was still trying to pick apart that bit about Sturgis even while half listening to his sons Quidditch prows.

Ron did quite well on his solo practice with Harry, and both boys were heartened as they returned to lunch and more of Hermione's commentary on how irresponsible they were.

"I'd be more worried if she didn't honestly," Lily said fondly.

This time when they went back down, everyone else was waiting for them in the locker room, Fred and George greeting Ron by asking if the Ickle Prefect was going to show them all up.

"If they were making cracks at him like that, it's no wonder he got a little frazzled during tryouts," Remus said in sympathy.

"Ron really shouldn't be letting those light things get to him," James scoffed in disbelief, "not only have the twins said far worse to him before, but the buildup to a game is brutal. Ron's got to have better nerves to keep up."

Ron snapped at them to shut up as Angelina entered, warning them before they got started that they had some visitors in the stands but they were to be ignored while they did this.

It was easier said than done, as the moment the Slytherin team caught sight of them, they began catcalling.

"Did we ever establish what the rules are for spectators at practice?" Harry grumped.

"Nope," James popped the p for emphasis. "Sadly, the pitch stands are open at all times, they hardly have a guard up after all. If you call off practice to go find a teacher to complain to, then you get the same end results of having practice cut up and your time will run out for the next person anyways."

Harry grumbled something but admitted he could do nothing more about this.

Malfoy at once began a list of insults, starting with what Weasley was riding, an old log?

Harry told Ron to ignore the jab, they wouldn't be laughing when they were the ones losing next game.

'Says the one on the Firebolt,' Remus thought in sympathy for Ron at that comment.

Angelina had them all in the air and began with the simple practice of tossing the Quaffle around. Each team member had lobbed it to a random other, before Harry passed it to Ron, who fumbled and had to dive to the ground to get it.

The Slytherin's laughter doubled up at once, and Ron came up as red faced as the ball now. The twins exchanged a look, but uncharacteristically did not say anything themselves.

"It's nice even they have their limits," Sirius frowned in sympathy for Ron.

"I'm positive they'd never have a go at their brother in front of spectators," James said at once, "family boundaries and all that. They can pick on him all they like, but if someone else does it, then there's going to be a problem. Mocking him while they are being the opposite of that."

Sirius nodded in absolute agreement while Lily grinned at him before going on.

Angelina brushed past the moment as if it hadn't happened, telling him to pass it on already, and the routine began again before Malfoy's next comment floated up about how Potter's head was feeling? Did he need a lie down in the Hospital wing? It had been a whole week since he'd been in there after all.

"I wish that one was more of a joke," Lily groaned, considering her son had successfully woken up in there all four years.

On his next pass through Ron did catch his ball with skill, but then overenthusiastically lobbed it off to Katie which smacked her right in the face. Fred flew over at once and offered her a purple bit of candy, promising this would stop the problem.***

"Ooph," all five of them winced for that pain, though James tried to bolster, "least that one wasn't entirely his fault, Katie's got to work on her reflexes as well."

"He speaks from experience of one to many Quaffles in the face," Sirius agreed.

Angelina seemed to decide that was enough of that practice as the team broke up into their usual positions then, but Ron wasn't having much better luck this way. Harry wasn't paying much attention to anyone else as he weaved in and around looking for the Snitch, so stopped in surprise when Angelina blew her whistle and called at Ron he needed to be covering all of his posts, he was only hovering in front of the one.

"Well he was only used to playing with one post, back at home," Harry defended lightly.

"Guess there is room for adjustment time," James agreed.

Ron apologized at once while he tried to lengthen his field, Angelina coaching that he should be circling them all, or he'd let in more than the last three.

Lily winced upon the word three. She wasn't even much of a Quidditch fan and she was starting to feel bad for Ron, the boys were past that and starting to shift with unease at this poor display. They liked Ron a lot, but maybe he wasn't cut out for this game on such a level, not everyone was.

Before she went back to training she asked wasn't Katie's nose getting any better, but Katie said it was only getting worse. Fred eyed another piece of candy he'd apparently just given to her, and suddenly looked horror struck.

"Well that can't be good," Remus yipped at once in concern.

"Just what did the twins do?" Sirius agreed in a sudden surge. "I remember them saying they hadn't perfected the nosebleed one yet, but I thought by giving her that it would at least stem the flow, not make it worse!"

"They gave her the purple pill," James soothed, though his own twitching showed he wasn't entirely okay with this either, "surely they're not just using her for a test dummy."

Not long after, Katie had to be escorted off the field, face pure white from blood loss, by the twins who had accidentally given her a Blood Blister pod.

"What does he mean by mistake?" Lily demanded dangerously. "Thought they were color coded for a reason, how could he give her the wrong one?"

They really had no answer for this, it wasn't like the twins to be so careless with their own products.

Angelina gave in on practice for the day and slumped off amongst the Slytherin's most recent chant of 'Gryffindors are losers!' They made their way back to the common room where Hermione asked in a frosty voice how it had gone. Ron at once said it had been lousy, and Hermione's voice cooled in sympathy it was only his first after all.

"It's nice she thaws on them when it counts," Remus chuckled.

Ron snapped who'd said it had been him that made it lousy?

Sirius couldn't help but snort lightly for his snap, she had made the presumption, even if it was right.

Then he marched off to go get his book bag, while Hermione leaned in and whispered for Harry alone if it had been him.

Harry said no with loyalty.

"There's my little Gryffindor," James beamed for the response he'd have given.

When Hermione kept staring, he conceded it hadn't been the best, but this really had been his first crack.

No more was said as the two spent the evening going through all their work, made extra difficult as Harry could still hear the echo of the Slytherin's cruel chant.

"Oh Harry, don't let yourself get so psyched out as well," Sirius tried to comfort, "that won't help Ron."

"Malfoy really has this way of sticking in my head," Harry huffed.

They spent the rest of the night and the whole of Sunday pushing through their mountain of work, by Sunday night Harry was feeling as if his brain was smashing its way out of his skull.

"Lovely mental imagery," Remus winced in sympathy.

Harry muttered for Ron they really should be doing more of this over the week.

"Well it's not as if you had much of a choice," James said fairly, "what with being physically tortured and all," his voice finishing with flat ice.

Harry winced and hid his hand from sight again, knowing they weren't letting that one go anytime soon.

Hermione had spent her time relaxing, making more elf hats, and chatting with other friends the whole time, but as the night wore on and most of the common room emptied out for their early morning tomorrow, she took pity and wandered over, glancing at Ron's current Astronomy essay and corrected Jupiter's biggest moon was Ganymede, and Lo had the volcanoes.

"Exactly what text was he using to be swapping all those?" Remus asked in sympathy.

"The book was upside down, he didn't even seem to notice he was as exhausted as I was," Harry sighed. "I probably would have noticed soon, I was almost done with mine."

Ron began scratching out the wrong information without a word, while Hermione began apologizing.

"Why's she apologizing, I thought she always critiqued your homework," Lily said in surprise.

"Ron looked ready to make her eat that quill as he was using it," Harry winced, his best mate not in the mood for Hermione to be doing this over his shoulder in that way.

Ron snapped he didn't want to hear it if she was just going to criticize.

"I was under the impression she always criticized him," Sirius said lightly.

"I'm still convinced that's their form of flirting," Remus snorted, thinking Ron was looking for a good row to let off some steam, and Hermione was more than likely his usual go to with that.

Hermione spotted something else, but when Ron tried to cut her off he didn't want to hear it, Hermione pointed at Hermes in the window.

"Not Percy's owl?" James yelped in shock as he leaned over Lily's shoulder to read that one.

"Why do you even remember that detail?" Sirius asked as he certainly hadn't.

Lily shushed them both while reading with an honest touch of hope, maybe Percy was trying to come around and apologize? Hopefully that letter was for all his siblings and he'd made up with his parents?

Ron went to the window at once and wrenched it open, Percy's owl swooping in and landing on Ron's moon of Io.

"I'm sure the Professor will appreciate the attention to detail," James muttered as he was still trying to peek over Lily's shoulder and see what this was about, while she was just as effectively ignoring him.

Ron tore open the envelope curiously and began reading, but his expression quickly flipped to disgust the longer he read.

"That was not an encouraging start," Remus began without much surprise, though he still couldn't imagine what this was about, while Lily sighed with disappointment and couldn't bother clinging to her hope anymore as she got it out.

He wordlessly thrusted the letter to his friends, apparently to appalled for words, as they began reading to themselves about Percy's beginning stating he'd heard from the Minister of Magic himself,

"That was entirely unnecessary," James huffed.

"As was that," Lily snipped at him.

that Ron had become a Prefect. This was excellent news, as Percy had always feared Ron would take the 'Fred and George' route, but now he was elated to hear his youngest brother had decided to take on some responsibility.

"He didn't decide anything," Sirius threw his hands up in exasperation for people continually saying that. No one put their name down, no one did anything to become Prefect, it was entirely the decision of the Heads of Houses and ultimately Dumbledore.

He was sending this letter with as much warning as anything though, for if he expected to go further in life with this achievement, he should be warned of his continued fraternization with Harry Potter, which he'd gathered Ron was still hanging around again from word of the Minister.

Remus frowned in confusion, wondering what Umbridge had passed along that involved Ron at all? He supposed he wasn't too surprised if that thing was keeping tabs on Harry's friends as well though.

Percy put in the simple fact that Ron could quickly lose his badge if this kept up.

Harry spluttered with absolute indignation. What had he done to deserve that from anyone, let alone a person he'd gotten to know on at least some level? He'd never taken a liking to Percy, but he'd never thought he'd done anything to deserve him telling his own brother to drop him? Ron was Harry's first friend, his best friend, and more family than he'd ever had in his life before he met Sirius.

James fired up at once, snapping, "what does Percy want, for Ron to be an outcast and no one to like him like Percy is?"

The sad truth was, yes Lily did believe that. Percy may have heard this news and immediately hoped that he could reconnect with some member of his family, because he likely was lonely. That didn't excuse what he'd just told to do to her son.

Percy expected Ron to read this with some surprise, no doubt Ron would say that Potter was Dumbledore's favorite,

"Why would that be his response?" Sirius scowled with anger as well as confusion for that one. Harry never once asked for that treatment.

but Dumbledore may not be in charge around school much longer anyways if those in charge had a more accurate account of Potter's behavior had things settled as Percy expected them to.

With every line Percy had written Remus continued growing more confused and angry, this one in particular caught him off guard. What did he mean Dumbledore wouldn't be in charge of the school anymore? That was an oddity in itself, he'd been the headmaster for generations already and in a most likely biased opinion the most reputable of them all. That didn't quite knock out the anger of the second part, more accurate his arse. Ron was Harry's best friend for years, he'd have the most accurate portrayal of Harry more than anyone, shouldn't this be his say so.

Percy wouldn't enlighten this statement further, but Ron should check out the Daily Prophet tomorrow for more details to see where the wind was blowing, and to spot himself along the way.

"Why am I not surprised this whole letter was planned out just to brag about himself winding up in the paper somehow," Sirius snarled.

Percy persisted, seriously Ron

"He doesn't get to use my name," Sirius huffed, to which he was ignored by all this time.

did not want to be on the same branch with Potter anymore or it would damage his future, and this was speaking of life after school. Ron surely knew of Potters disciplinary hearing, and he had not come out of it looking good. He'd gotten off on a technicality, and many of the Wizengamot still found him guilty.

"Guilt of what!?" James thundered. "He saved his own damn life plus his useless cousin! What were they even trying to prove during that shame of a trial? That he cast a Patronus Charm for shits and giggles!"

"You should never argue with a stupid person, they'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." Remus snipped.

It was best for Ron to sever ties with Potter, the earlier the better, even if he did become violent. If Ron had any worries he was encouraged to go see Umbridge, a delightful woman who would be happy to help.

Lily did not get that out as if an intelligible person had said it, more like repeating the words of someone hit with a babbling curse. It made no sense in or out of context.

This led into his next bit of advice, which he'd hinted at above,

"Hinted implies subtly," James snorted with disgust.

that Dumbledore would not remain in charge at school long, and Ron should be thinking of his future with the Ministry. So far Umbridge had been getting very little cooperation from the staff and the Ministry was striving to fix this, again see the Prophet tomorrow, and those who were on Umbridge's side could be well placed for Head Boy ship not long later.

"Climb as far up her brown nose as you can and make a comfy nest with the rest of her eggs," Sirius mocked.

Percy did tack in an apology about how he was sorry he couldn't see Ron over the summer,

"Bet he wouldn't care one bit if he didn't know you were a Prefect," Sirius snapped.

and it did pain in how he disliked criticizing his parents, but what with the riff raff they kept up with like Sturgis Podmore, and other petty criminals, he was lucky the Minister didn't see him in the same light.

James looked ready to light the book on fire any moment now. Percy had successfully insulted three people he cared about in one go! It took a lot of restraint on his part to remind himself Percy was still a child right now who shouldn't be transfigured into a pumpkin.

He was very gracious he'd disassociated himself with the likes of Dumbledore's crowd and promised Ron could still do the same and not to let family ties blind him. He'd be ready to accept their apology whenever they were ready and realized their mistakes.

"If both sides keep standing around waiting for an apology instead of doing something, this war is going to be harder than I was thinking," Sirius grumbled as he remembered his own words.

He signed off with the plea to think this all over, particularly the bit about Potter, and congratulated him one last time on becoming a prefect.

"Burn that Harry. Burn that and shove the sod right up that Humongous Big Heads nose." James said at once with conviction.

"It's Ron's letter," Harry sighed, "I think he should get the right."

"That's fair," Sirius acknowledged.

When Harry was done, he reread one bit to make sure he got it right, before turning to Ron and said if he wanted to sever ties with him, he promised he wouldn't get violent.

The boys at least garnered a laugh for Harry's sarcasm at that, while Lily sighed deeply. She wished that hadn't been played off as a joke, but she supposed it was better than Harry getting mad at Ron's brother, and taking it out on Ron, which with his temper lately she wouldn't have even been surprised.

Ron jerked the letter away nastily at once, calling him the biggest prat on earth as he ripped the parchment up into tiny little scraps and tossed it into the fire.

"Less satisfying than up the nose," James sighed.

"But a proper in the moment response," Remus smiled.

Then he turned dismissively back to their homework.

Lily managed almost a happy giggle for this display, thinking Percy should send Ron more stupid letters if that's what got him to focus on his homework more.

Remus almost agreed, finding his utter dismissal of this perfect.

Hermione was looking at Ron with an odd expression on her face.

"What kind of odd look?" Lily asked with a torn expression, she really hoped Hermione wasn't going to try and give Ron a pep talk or something, it wouldn't do him any good right now.

"I think it was something close to surprise, maybe admiration," Harry tried to smile. "Ron wouldn't ever show it, but what Percy did cut all his siblings as bad as his parents, and so when Hermione saw Ron just turn right back to homework after what Ron considered further spurn must have gotten to her."

Lily couldn't help a small smile now as she kept going. It didn't make that letter feel any better, but it was nice to see Hermione acting like their friend rather than mother for a change.

Then she stunned them both by demanding their homework from them so she could correct what they'd done.

"Doesn't she usually do that anyways when you're done?" Sirius chuckled.

"She'd certainly been threatening not to do it enough lately we were starting to believe her," Harry smiled in relief.

He asked if she was serious?

"No, I am," Sirius reminded as if anyone had forgotten.

Then he began thanking her at once, calling her a life saver and what could he say to-

She said he could say he wouldn't wait to do all his homework till the last minute ever again, while looking on in amusement.

"They're not even done with them though," James reminded.

"Still better to get her help while she was in a good mood, half the work done," Harry cheered, though the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

Harry thanked her as well as he pushed his away in relief, letting himself sink down and gaze at the fire quietly for a moment with a sick feeling resting in him as the remains of Percy's letter curled away in the fire.

They all frowned as they realized Harry had taken that much more personally than they'd realized, he'd even played off the moment in here well enough they'd thought he'd just completely brushed it off, but clearly not.

Somehow reading all that in Percy's writing pressed in on him for the first time his standing with the majority of the Wizarding World. He'd known Percy for years, had spent summers at his house and shared a tent with him at the World Cup, Percy had been the one to award him full marks during the second task last year, but now the same guy found him unbalanced and violent.

"This is the same guy who went sobbing out into the freezing lake to check on his kid brother," Remus huffed in agreement. "How did he go from that to dismissing his whole family in so little time?"

"You've got me?" James sighed deeply.

Harry felt sudden empathy for his godfather, whom the whole world also believed had done something he'd had no part of.

Sirius hummed in agreement with that, even if he couldn't be there for Harry in the ways he wanted to be, he found comfort even the idea he could relate to Harry made him feel better.

Then Harry sat up straight in his chair as he gazed at the fire in confusion, surely he'd imagined it because he was thinking of his godfather.

"Oh, is Sirius making another appearance in the common room?" James asked as if confirming the date.

"Now he even has a safe place to do it from," Remus agreed almost as if bored at the idea.

Truth be told it made both of them smile and more anxious at the same time. They couldn't easily forget where Sirius was in Harry's time and found him talking to Harry face to face would surely make him feel better for even a moment.

Hermione was done with both homeworks, haven written out a draft for Ron to use as his conclusion,

"Okay, that was blatantly doing homework for you," Lily snorted.

"I guess she truly was taking pity on us," Harry chuckled.

Ron insisted she was the most wonderful person he'd ever met,

"I think this is the most he's complimented her in their entire friendship, she may be falling over from shock," Sirius chuckled.

and if he was ever rude to her again-

She'd know he'd gone back to normal, Hermione finished for him with a smile.

"There's the proper response," James snickered.

Then she turned on Harry's, saying he must have heard Sinestra wrong, as Europa was covered in ice, not mice.

"Sometimes I really can't tell when Hermione's being sarcastic," Remus smirked, "she must know that was a slip of the quill."

Harry just grinned and didn't reply.

Harry was no longer listening as he crouched down in front of the fireplace, watching it steadily now as he told his friends what he'd just seen. It wasn't that surprising, as Sirius had appeared her once before to talk to him, but Hermione was concerned at once at the idea, saying it would be too- Sirius?!

"But I'm always serious, how could I be anything else?" Sirius cackled.

"She was actually saying your name you twit," Lily ground out, cursing that man's parents for cursing their child and everyone else in his life with this never-ending gag.

She gasped his name in surprise as Sirius' face sat among the logs, grinning at them.

"You already sound so pleased with yourself," James snickered.

"I honestly believe I've been looking forward to this all week, Harry's letter just happened around the same time," Sirius grinned.

He began to say he'd been worried this wouldn't work, he'd been checking every hour and there'd always been someone else in here.

Harry half laughed that he'd been popping his head in here once an hour? Hermione anxiously demanded what if someone had seen him.

"I'm sure you'd have heard about it, and the twins would have helped to laugh the whole thing off by saying they'd slipped something in there, or any number of things." Remus rolled his eyes at her paranoia.

Sirius shrugged off that some first year may have gotten a start from him, but she'd probably just thought he was a funny shaped log.

"Honestly, in a school full of magic, a funny shaped log wouldn't have lingered in her mind in the time it took for her to get to the stairs," James agreed.

Hermione still said this was too big a risk for him to be-

Sirius cut her off by telling her to stop sounding like Molly, Sirius was just trying to respond to Harry's letter.

Hermione turned her accusing voice on Harry now, as he hadn't told them about this.

"And that's exactly why he didn't," Sirius scoffed at Hermione's never ending complaints.

Harry admitted he'd forgotten, as the instance with Cho had pushed the rest of that morning from his mind, before turning back to Sirius and saying no one could have gotten anything from that letter anyways.

"She doesn't believe anyone can do anything without her help," James rolled his eyes.

Sirius agreed at once it had been very good, beginning on that with Harry's scar.

Ron tried to ask what that meant, but Hermione shushed him and they'd tell later.

"I understand the need for the haste, but why hadn't you told Ron about this already?" Lily asked.

"Same reason I'd yet to tell Hermione about my detentions," Harry shrugged uneasily as he brought this back up himself but still explained, "hadn't come up until I was caught at it."

"You have that philosophy far too often," Remus huffed.

Sirius agreed he understood this couldn't be fun for Harry, but it had hurt like this before now.

Harry agreed it had just concerned him it had been extra bad around that Umbridge woman, but Sirius had no delusions she was a Death Eater.

Harry said she was foul enough to be one, while Sirius gave a wry smile and said the world wasn't split into good people and Death Eaters.

"I always want to faint in surprise when you pass on such words of wisdom," Lily smiled at him while Sirius grinned and Harry took a moment to register the truth of those words he'd never considered before.

Sirius did agree that he already knew of her reputation though, Remus went on enough about her.

That caught their attention with surprise, Lily going on eagerly to see what that foul woman had been saying about her friend, and hopefully some colorful recanting of what Remus had to say about it.

Harry asked in surprise how Lupin knew her, remembering Umbridge's comments about half-breeds during their first class.

James's mouth dried considerably as he did remember this. She hadn't been subtle in taking a shot at Remus, and he already felt a nasty fear of where this was going.

Sirius explained not personally, but she'd drafted some anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that made it impossible for him to get a job.

Lily spluttered with indignation nearly before she'd gotten that out, and that had nothing on his two friends. They already had every reason in the world wanting that sherbet-reject to shrivel up and die, turns out they should have been going for her head all those years ago. Was this in fact finally the reason Remus had left his post? That would have happened right around the time he left Hogwarts, when Snape had released his name as working at Hogwarts!

Instead of shrinking away whenever this topic came up, Remus looked a tad concerned for this news, and not just for himself. It was very rare to find any other werewolves who even tried to maintain a normal lifestyle with a job and such, but with this bit of legislation being passed it was as if they were being told not to even bother with that. He'd never complained of the restrictions of the jobs they could get because he recognized the danger in his own kind, but was the Ministry moving even further away in trying to phase out his whole kind, truly turn them into no more than animals that needed to be killed. How could they ever show how normal they could be if no one gave them a chance? Then he reminded himself what he'd long since came to the conclusion of, no one cared.

Harry remembered how much shabbier Lupin looked these days and his dislike of Umbridge deepened even further.

Remus blinked in a bit of surprise for that. From what he'd gathered, Harry hadn't much to do with him in his own time, so the fact that he had such a strong reaction like that really did warm him up a bit. He really hadn't thought it possible for a long time anyone outside his friends could see him as any more than a monster, but first Lily and now Harry...

Hermione demanded what that woman had against werewolves, and Sirius said it was all part-humans, she'd even tried to round up all merpeople and have them tagged a few years back, imagine wasting the energy on such things when toe rags like Kreacher were about.

"I'm sure she doesn't like them any better," Remus scoffed to try and lighten back up the mood, at least trying to pretend as he always did he hadn't heard a word about this. "House-elves do have a certain human shape but aren't, so they're in the-"

Sirius elbowed him in the ribs to get him to shut up, no one wanted to hear him play this off right now.

Ron laughed but Hermione looked offended, trying to tell Sirius if he'd just make an attempt, she was sure Kreacher would respond.

Sirius knew he'd rather lose his dessert privileges than indulge in any such nonsense, and wished Hermione would quit harping on that.

Harry thought the same, if only because it left such a tight feeling of unease in him he felt the urge to cry and refused to understand why.

Dumbledore did say-

Sirius blatantly ignored her and asked what Umbridge's lessons were like, was she training them to kill half-breeds?

"No, that would actually be useful," Remus snorted lightly, before wincing and wishing he hadn't spoken at all for the nasty look his friends gave him for that.

Harry said no while Hermione looked affronted her defense had been cut off.

"You'd really think at some point she'd realize, no one cares!" James threw his hands up in exasperation.

She wasn't letting them use magic at all.

This didn't surprise Sirius though, as he'd heard that the Minister was growing more paranoid by the day and no longer wanted the students trained in combat.

Harry was stunned, asking why, did she think they were forming their own army?

Sirius agreed that was exactly what his delusions feared, the man thought Dumbledore was amassing his own force to overthrow the Ministry.

"I've never heard something so idiotic in my life," James deadpanned, "and I've lived with these two for seven years."

"I, really wish Sirius was making a joke right now," Lily agreed.

There was a pause before Ron stated that was the stupidest thing he'd heard in his life, and he'd been around Luna Lovegood.

"Was that supposed to be a compliment, or-" Sirius began in confusion before Remus shushed him.

Hermione was outraged this was the reason behind their lack of education, while Sirius elaborated Fudge was convinced Dumbledore would do anything to get power, it's only a matter of time before he has the man arrested at this point.

"That'll be the day," Remus scoffed while Harry frowned at the idea, he really didn't like the sound of that.

Harry asked if he knew anything about this big deal that was supposed to be in the Prophet tomorrow Percy had dropped hints about, but Sirius said he hadn't a clue, no one had actually been around all week.

Lily's voice shook with pity there, to which Sirius was both grateful for, and wanted to make some snide comment at her for. Thankfully she kept going loudly before he could act on either.

Sirius' voice had quickly turned bitter as he said this, so Harry instead asked about Hagrid.

Sirius didn't seem too concerned, saying while he was supposed to be back by now and they weren't sure why he wasn't,

"Tactless as ever," Lily grumbled at him, ignoring her own increasing worry at those confirmed fears. Surely if this was a real problem though Sirius would be more concerned, he at least had a like for Hagrid even without knowing what all he'd done for Harry. This wasn't necessarily a death sentence if someone didn't come back from a mission on schedule...

but upon seeing their stricken faces Sirius quickly said Dumbledore wasn't worried about it, so everything was surely fine. Maxime had gone with him, and she'd arrived back on schedule and simply said they'd split up on the journey home, there was no reason to suggest a real problem.

"I think we need to have a refresher course on those talks about reassuring people Sirius," Remus groaned, as that had helped no one at any point it seemed.

The three exchanged a still anxious look, but Sirius insisted for them not to go around asking questions and drawing attention to this.

"We haven't been," Harry said just a touch indignantly, "you were the only one I'd asked."

"Well I know that now," Sirius rolled his eyes in exasperation, causing Harry to back down.

Then Sirius flipped topics to asking when their next Hogsmeade weekend was, he wanted to show up and-

"And just why would you think that would cheer them up?" Lily began anxiously as she fought the compulsion to stick a muzzle on Sirius. "You were already spotted once, what makes you think it a good idea to have another go?"

"Stop being such a worry wart Lily," James scoffed at once. "He needs out of that place more, even if it is at sporadic times like Hogsmeade weekends."

"Where was this attitude last year?" Remus demanded uneasily, this conversation just kept getting worse with everything his last best friend said.

"Last year Sirius was on the run, getting all the air he needed, so I was just worried about him covering his tail," James scowled at Remus for the lack of backup. "Now I'm worried what he'll do if he doesn't get out more."

Sirius longed for the time where he could have basked in having a whole conversation about him, now he just looked miserable and didn't account for anyone, he just wanted to forget about the existence of that house and his whole damn future.

Harry and Hermione shouted no at once, Hermione quickly saying the article they'd found this morning. Sirius brushed this off, saying they were always guessing something and it never panned out.

"I mean, I suppose so long as Kingsley is still pushing for Australia or something, whatever Malfoy said could be brushed off easily enough," Remus tried to say with some encouragement that fell flat to all worried parties.

Harry insisted Lucius had spotted him near that train, and what if Draco did in Hogsmeade?

"Then don't go near Malfoy," James scoffed. "Honestly, Padfoot knows every hole of that area better than the local cats."

"Doesn't make the risk any less," Lily sighed without too much of a fight, recognizing whatever Sirius wanted to do, he'd do it with or without anyone's support.

Sirius scowled at them before saying he wouldn't, he'd just thought they'd like to get together.

"You really are breaking my heart here pup," Sirius tried for a flippant tone while Harry eyed his godfather with great worry. Ever since he'd left that platform, Harry had an ever growing fear of the next time Sirius left that house, leaving his tongue paralyzed and unable to respond...

Harry insisted he just didn't want to see him back in Azkaban!

Sirius' face went flat blank as he said Harry was less like his father than Sirius had thought, the risk would have been what made it fun for James.

Sirius actually recoiled, suddenly looking ready to burst into tears any moment as he had concrete proof. Merlin's sake, he really had lost his mind if he thought even for a moment he'd been talking to James-

Lily had just huffed and rolled her eyes at the stupid comment, she didn't even seem to realize Sirius had taken it so personally while James kept his eyes firmly on his best mate now.

Remus reacted on instinct by smacking Sirius upside the head for that, muttering, "would you rather him be like you, not thinking before you speak."

Sirius hardly seemed to realize what had been spoken as he whispered back, "that hurt you know."

Remus wasn't sure if he meant the comment, or the blow, as he rolled his eyes and said, "I didn't damage anything important."

"All of me is important!" He shot back with almost a pout, managing to keep himself distracted at least for a few seconds while Lily finished.

Harry tried to say something else, but Sirius said he'd write again whenever Harry could stand the risk, and then he was gone.

Remus was looking from James to Sirius uneasily, as Lily looked up to indicate she was done and seemed to realize for the first time that had bothered the two, so Remus began ardently, "wonder if we should take a quick break again. I'm sure someone should check on the baby's dipper, and I-"

"Yeah, that's great Moony. Padfoot, can I borrow you for a moment," James snapped, not waiting for any preamble as he made his way for the stairs and Sirius followed reluctantly.

HPHPHPHPHPHP

* This one gets under my skin out of confusion. Either Harry has completely forgotten the fact that he was the one who had to trick Malfoy into giving Dobby that sock, otherwise he could have just done it himself and set Dobby free if that was his intentions, or he really thought Hermione found a way around this law and it's just never addressed. This is a real problem with the narrative between two and five that is never brought up.

**I know that's a really subjective number, considering by most math there would only be about 300, but JK has said there were actually almost a thousand. I personally more invasion somewhere in the middle, though I imagine the population slump from the war and other variables actually makes the number fluctuate between those two numbers throughout the years, so who really knows.

*** This moment genuinely annoys me for two reasons. The twins specifically say the purple half is the 'cure' pill for their works, and this is proven in the very last chapter where they gave purple pills to the first years to wake them up, so they did indeed give the right pill. Problem two with this, is then, what do you mean you gave her the wrong pill? Either you color swapped a batch in which case you lot are far more idiotic than I thought for all your hard work doing this, or this is just some serious (shut up Sirius!) errors with the flowing work. Twice in one chapter man...

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #HP #Marauders #OotP #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter #The LIfe that Never LIved

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carriecutforth · 3 years

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The Shit

Tumblr is telling me to go ahead, put anything...so here it goes

I haven't been public about this for reasons that will be apparent but gonna start this with all the trigger warnings. I'm writing it here cause I can't talk to the majority of people about it cause most people can't even grasp, and then questions start, putting me in the situation of feeling like my GIANT SWEATER of trauma is being unraveled answering questions that lead to more questions and gah PLEASE DO NOT RETUMBL-- I just need to scream in the void This is the shit: On the day my sister-in-law's mother died she had to call form-1 my baby brother because his psychosis (undiagnosed mental illness which I will get to) was terrorizing their family (three small kids). My mother WHO IS SCHIZOPHRENIC had him released into her and my ANTI-VAXXER ANTI-MASKER narcissist father's care, but NOT before they found out, incidentally due to the FORM 1, he is ALSO really sick with leukemia. I only found out because I decided to dip into the special folder for emails called MOM that I try to avoid reading as long as they can FOR REASONS. But I felt for some reason an urge to, and then I had to try to parse out what had happened from her ramblings that are A LOT. Then I had to confirm with my poor sil who is at her wits end and was in no position to tell me herself. My dad stopped talking to me back in November when I called him for his anti-vax rhetoric as being EUGENICS when he told me it is just the flu and only killing old people and the disabled. I reminded him I've been immuno-compromised my whole life (he KNOWS this) and got chronic fatigue after a flu in late 2016 (he knows this), and did he not care if I DIED? (apparently not) But I was like lol, fine, don't talk to me anymore. Die mad about it for all I care. A lot of people are like: 'oh, that's tough, losing a relationship with your father' and I'm like YOLO (it really isn't if you knew him). SO THEN I have to reach out to my dad: "Why isn't my brother in the hospital being treated by medical professionals for YOU KNOW, HIS LEUKEMIA." My dad responded that the doctors were JUST GOING TO PUMP HIM FULL OF DRUGS! And that HE is treating my brother's leukemia with I dunno baking soda (he told me before it is a cure for cancer). THEN HE GOES RADIO SILENT. I have no idea where my brother is cause they got him an apartment somewhere in Toronto. *though I do have a Machiavellian plan to try to find out. The reason my brother has untreated psychosis is that even though I've begged my parents since he was a TEEN to get him diagnosed, they refused. It's like they have the opposite of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy in that their ABLEISM is soooo bad they refuse to see he has been very sick, and even if he was really sick, 'doctors are stupid' <--quoting my dad. This is the backstory. My dad was always on the road for his job. My mom had my baby brother AGAINST all wishes of her doctor to ever get pregnant again. I'm not talking aborting, she got PREGNANT on purpose again to SERVE GOD'S GREATER PURPOSE even though it might kill her and said future fetus. So he was born with a lot of issues because of the very bad pregnancy's complications on TOP of the very hereditary bipolar/schizophrenia, AND everything else we got going on besides. After he was born, my mom went into a very deep depression for years and then would vacillate between that and mania. Which meant me: THE ELEVEN year old was forced to raise a baby that wasn't hers and had no ultimate authority over. I was called by everyone his *BROTHER'S NAME* SECOND MOM. *More on this later Our relationship is very strained because of this, particularly when at 17 I had enough momming a child while being constantly undermined by my parents absolute shenanigans. So there was resentment when I quit being his 'second mom' and that he equally resented for things like, trying to put him into bed, when my mom would come in and say let him stay up all night or getting him to eat something other than candy for breakfast (you can guess the dynamic with my parents here). Even if my disabled ass could sue my parents for his

care, he doesn't WANT me to be in charge of his care.

And yet still, I tried to advocate for him for years fighting my parents TOOTH and NAIL to get him on disability and out from underneath their thumb so he could have a measure of independence and autonomy. They had every excuse in the book not to get him diagnosed including expense. It was so goddamned awful fighting with them on this cause in their mind: he was going to live with either them or me forever (they decided this for me and my ex-husband and kids with no consultation), so WHY bother set up his future for him??? So when he was 20?, I hatched a Machiavellian PLAN: I got him, against my parent's wishes, into college for the sole reason of getting the resources for him to get diagnosed so that he could get on disability. AND IT WORKED! (kinda) Except my parents twisted him so much into only talking about his autism spectrum symptoms and NONE of the psychosis because their ableism is sooooo entrenched. (but I did manage to get him on ODSP). And subsequent times I forced my dad to take him to a psychiatrist, he's like: 'oh, I forgot to talk about the psychosis we just talked about the aspergers. Besides people with psychosis are untreatable, you can't convince them otherwise' (see again, my mom). Over the years, I have begged my dad to take my brother to get properly diagnosed and treated (I'm not meaning forced, my brother is also agoraphobic, and won't leave his place UNLESS he is driven by my dad and was living in a city far away from me). I said, I was very concerned for his kids but my dad always gaslights me (and tells everyone I'm crazy -- the IRONY). So now my mom is writing me emails about how this is all my sil's fault because 'she is on drugs' (she is not), 'she is sleeping around' (she is not), 'her kids are scared of her not my brother' (it's the exact opposite). WHICH IS A HUGE TRIGGER FOR ME because She did the exact same thing to ME with my other brother (a diagnosed PSYCHOPATH) who used to beat me and the rest of us mercilessly when my parents weren't around (and they never believed me, and told everyone not to believe me because I was crazy), who pulled a KNIFE on me and threw a drawer at me when I was NINE MONTHS PREGNANT, and how absolutely awful I was AS HIS SISTER to kick him out of my house with no place to live or go (cause he was living with me and my ex-husband at the time because THEY KICKED HIM OUT OF THEIR PLACE and didn't want him back.) Are you beginning to get a sense of the dynamic of my family? Soooooooo the last few weeks my brain has just been in total trauma mode going processing, processing, processing, processing as the final total realization of how absolutely awful my family is finally laid bare (I mean I knew but at least I can stop feeling guilty about cutting them out of my life). So back to the 'second mom' shit, as relevant to my trauma brain processing the last few weeks. This whole shit above is just the tip of the iceberg. I was raised as a Joho in which a lot of my trauma comes from a pedophile left loose on three generations of girls in my family over a thirty year period, and if anyone came forward they were threatened with disfellowshipment and there is SO MUCH there it would take me several Tolkien novels to get how absolutely awful, extensive it was, and how the coverup went straight to the top. ANYHOO. So who was calling me my brother's 'second mom???' Well since, I wasn't allowed to have any association with non-witnesses, it was my congregation. No one questioned that I was being parentified and it was a deeply abusive situation. NO WHAT HAPPENED instead was, this sister in the congregation told everyone (when I was fifteen and 80 pounds soaking wet at the height of 5'10 1/2) that my brother WAS REALLY MY CHILD cause it was so obvious the way that I was the one who took care of him. And the elders of our congregation MARKED me as bad association for loose morals for having a supposed child out of wedlock when I was ELEVEN YEARS OLD. AND NO ONE in my congregation would talk to me, and I had NO IDEA why, cause they never told me that I HAD BEEN

MARKED. But the caveat was I was not allowed to talk to people outside of the faith. And we only found out about this a year an a half later when she said the same shit back in my hometown where he was born to a sister who was at the hospital where my brother was born. AND NO ONE thought, hey: maybe if we think she had a baby when she was eleven we should um CALL CHILD SERVICES or some shit? So i was like 16 1/2, not allowed to have any friends OUTSIDE OF MY PARENTS, find out THIS SHIT, and then people wonder why I had my first manic episode at 17??? Yeah, so this is where my brain has been stuck the last month, complicated that I knew I would be at risk for hypomania with things opening back up, and I'm supposed to be shooting a pilot for a potential series I'm the creator/co-shorunner of, so now I've had to go BACK on seroquel and it's the worst while i try to acclimatize myself to the drugs and stave off hypomania at the same time. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

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blue-lions-baby · 4 years

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Operation Confession (Dimitri x Reader) [Ch. 1]

hi!! so sorry for the inactivity! i’ve been super busy preparing for college n stuff, so i didn’t really have time to write anything... but like i also didn’t want to go *another* week of not posting anything so lol

i’ve been working on this fic for almost a month now and as i was approaching the 5000 words mark, i figured it would probably be best to chop it up into more.... manageable sections ^^’ please enjoy~

spoiler-free and pre-timeskip fluff!

~*~

Oh, this was perfect.

Sylvain watched in pure amusement at the scene playing out before his very eyes. Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, future king of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, reduced to nothing more than a blushing schoolboy antsy with the love bugs and raging hormones. He weakly disguised his chuckle with a cough when he saw yet another quill snap in the blonde’s hand, most likely in reaction to that adorable pouting face you had put up. You had absolutely no idea what type of effect and the severity of said effect you had on the prince.

Which made it all the more entertaining.

You didn’t mean to-- in fact, you weren’t even aware of the raging feelings Dimitri held towards you.

But Sylvain knew.

And you could bet your ass he was gonna do everything in his power to help his longtime friend man up and confess to the girl of his dreams.

Dimitri’s cheeks, once dusted with only a faint pink, suddenly became a hodgepodge of every shade of red when he realized that was the third quill he broke in this hour alone. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, helplessly looking to his teacher for help.

“Your Highness... Have you broken another quill?” Dedue murmured beside him, concern eminent in his voice. Dimitri looked down at the large splinter running down its side and mentally banged his head against the desk.

“It appears so... I will request a replacement from the Professor.” He muttered back, silently rising to his feet and making his way to the desk up front. He was suddenly stopped on his 4-step journey when Byleth (with a crinkle in their nose and a sigh) redirected their frazzled student to a whole box of spare quills behind the blackboard. Dimitri-- very much aware that this box filled with ludicrous amounts of quills were entirely for him-- bowed deeply to the professor, picked up the feathery thing, and hurried back to his desk.

You looked up from your work to give your eyes a break from their swimming lessons and accidentally made eye contact with the returning prince. You both paused for a split second before you flashed him a heartfelt smile; a gentle warmth kissed the surface of your cheeks and you averted your eyes back to your studies.

A resounding snap reverberated throughout the quiet classroom.

“Dimitri?”

“Y-Yes, Professor?”

“See me after class.”

“Yes, Professor...”

♠ ♥ ♣ ----------------------------------------------------------- ♣ ♥ ♠

While the rest of the class huddled outside the door and watched their house leader write “I will not break another quill” line after line on the blackboard, Sylvain looped an arm around your waist and winked.

“Hey, (F/N). Mind if I steal you for a bit?”

“Um... Sure.” Wary of his skirt-chasing tendencies, you were reluctantly led away from your classmates and into a more secluded part of the monastery.

“This better not be one of your tricks again, Sylvain... I already told you, I don’t like you in that way.”

“Ouch. That hurt.” Sylvain’s lips formed into an exaggerated pout and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Nah, this ain’t about me for once. It’s about a certain... someone.” He continued rather vaguely.

“A certain someone? Sylvain, are you sure this isn’t about you?”

“It’s really not, I swear.” He put his hands up in surrender and seeing him genuine for once, you decided to believe him.

“Well, before I continue, I just wanna know if you... y’know.” Sylvain’s eyebrows wriggled very suggestively and a teasing smirk splayed his features. Your heart thundered in your ear, already knowing where this was going.

“If I...?” You whispered, taut fingers knotting the fabric of your uniform.

“Like, like-like anyone?”

Sylvain wished with all his heart that he had some way to capture the look and flood of colors that quickly took hold of your face. He watched in silent amazement as your face shifted from a barely-there pink to strawberry red in a matter of seconds. Gotcha.

“W-Well, I mean--” You took a shaky step backwards and your jaw clenched so tightly you were certain you were gonna chip a tooth. “There is this guy... Wait, why am I telling you this?! It’s none of your business!”

You rammed past the tall male with enough force to almost knock him over as you promptly made your way back to where the rest of your classmates were.

Satisfied with the laughable drop in quality in Dimitri’s penmanship, Byleth finally let the poor male join his classmates outside. His fingers twitched in an unsightly fashion and his wrist throbbed and cricked with every motion he made. He let out a guttural groan, making small, crackling adjustments to his neck and shoulder. The only thing he had left to do today was train, but he’d probably just go ahead and retire to his bed, at least for a little while...

Past the sea of heads crowding around him, he saw a flash of (H/C) streak across his vision, followed shortly afterwards by a head of shaggy red. (F/N)...? What were you doing with Sylvain?

Crippling exhaustion transfigured into searing jealousy and his eyes narrowed at his childhood friend with cold suspicion. Sylvain could easily feel the scorned prince’s hard stare like a knife in the back.

Was he at all fazed? Not in the slightest.

In fact, thought Sylvain as he sidled right up next to you, he wanted to toy with Dimitri’s heart just a little bit more...

“Excuse me everyone, but I must speak to Sylvain immediately.” He emphasized the last word sharply, gently pushing his way through the crowd. While he brushed shoulders with Ashe and waltzed around Ingrid, he spun around and ended up face-to-face with... Oh Goddess, his legs were turning into jelly.

“Dimitri...? Is something wrong?” You breathed, fumbling with your clammy digits.

“O-Oh!” Said male rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. “Nothing, Belov-- (F/N). Please excuse me, but it is imperative that I have a little... talk, with Sylvain.”

He left you no room for response as he quickly latched onto the toothy-grinned noble and practically dragged him away on his heels.

“What seems to be the problem, Your Highness?”

“Let us discuss the issue in my quarters.”

“Your quarters? Oh ho ho.~”

“Stop it, Sylvain. ... We’re here now.”

Dimitri watched Sylvain plop on the edge of his bed, his lips upturned in a carefree fashion. Dimitri lowered himself on his uncomfortable desk chair, his hands anxiously squeezing his kneecaps.

“So what would you like to talk about, Your Highness?”

“It’s about (F/N).” Dimitri spoke resolutely. “Sylvain... I know this will sound nothing short of mad, but--”

“Let me guess. You like (F/N).”

Dimitri’s bodily organs ceased to function; every ounce of blood in his body mutated into sharp, prickling icicles that seized his heart in a snare of terror and dread.

“I-- Wait, how--?”

“Your Highness. No offense, but pretty much everyone knows how you feel about her. You’re not exactly... subtle.”

Dimitri? Not subtle? Even after the extraordinary lengths he went through to make sure you remained ignorant of his true feelings for you? His brain filed through each and every interaction he’s had with you, combing through each word and shaky glance and awkward blush exchanged between either of you. Well, sure, he’s no master of disguise, but he wasn’t that bad... right?

While Dimitri’s thoughts remained in utter chaos, Sylvain coolly continued.

“Hey, about that lil’ act earlier... I was just messin’ with you, Your Highness. (F/N)’s a serious cutie, but I’m really not after her. I swear.” Sylvain winked. “Plus, she doesn’t even like me. She actually told me she likes--”

“WHO?!” Before Sylvain even had time to process-- well, anything-- Dimitri was on his feet rattling the poor noble to and fro, completely forgetting the crippling strength his Crest bestowed him.

“Gah! Stop it! That hurts!” Sylvain cried, trying with all his might to pry Dimitri’s iron grip from his shoulders.

Coherency finally returning, Dimitri immediately unclasped his digits from Sylvain. An expression of apologetic horror shot through his eyes as he stumbled back, back, back against his desk. The chest of both men heaved violently; raspy and hasty apologies slipped out of Dimitri’s lips while pain-stricken groans and a few obscenities raced out of Sylvain’s.

“I’m so-... I’m so sorry, Sylvain, I-- I’m so, so sorry--”

“Augh, Goddess... You’ve got quite a grip there, Your Highness...” Sylvain chuckled weakly, feeling his skin swell and bruise.

“Allow me to fetch a healer for you!”

“N-No worries... Ugh... Just, I need to talk to you.”

“Sylvain--”

“Please. Seeing you skirt about this issue is far more painful than any bruise you could give me... But I’m not gonna lie, this one comes pretty close.”

Dimitri drew in a deep breath and settled in his desk chair, its wooden legs creaking slightly from his weight. He planted his elbows firmly by his kneecaps and rested his chin on folded hands.

“Lemme ask you a question, Your Highness. Do you truly love (F/N)?”

“Yes.” Dimitri answered unfazed, but suddenly realized the gravity of his response and drooped his eyes towards the floor.

“Then tell her!”

“I... I can’t. I’m afraid I lack the confidence to waltz up to a girl and profess my feelings to her. Especially with what happened to...” Dimitri shivered at the awkwardly painful memory and continued. “Sylvain, what if she doesn’t like me in that way? Then I’d have made a fool of myself in front of everybody. But most importantly, her...”

“Well, since she didn’t tell me exactly who she liked, there’s no surefire way to know...” Sylvain acquiesced. “But I’ve got a real good feeling about this. Trust me! If there’s one thing in the world that I can help you with, it would be something like this.”

“Well, I suppose you’re right...” Dimitri pondered, sighing in defeat. “But regardless of whether she likes me or not, I am unable to simply walk up to her and tell her my feelings. That’s...”

Dimitri trailed off, dejection glossing his pastel blues.

“I don’t deserve someone like her.” He breathed out just above a whisper. Poignancy took hold of Sylvain’s heart after hearing the sincerity in Dimitri’s voice. One look at the despondent royal was enough to tell him how much he believed those words-- how much Dimitri believed that he, a beast stained by blood and vengeance, could never have a beauty as tender and loving as you.

“Hey, come on Your Highness... It’s not fair on your part to be giving yourself so little credit.”

“Sylvain, look at me.” Dimitri cupped his throbbing head in his hands and he growled. “I am a monster. I can not drag someone as pure, lovely, and beautiful as (F/N) into...”

He paused, choosing his next words carefully.

“She deserves someone else-- someone who can bring her true happiness. Someone who’s... not me.”

Sylvain gritted his teeth from the dark and pulverizing atmosphere. Dimitri was spiraling. Further, faster into the void.

“Cheer up, Your Highness!” Sylvain bubbled half-heartedly, desperately trying to reel his friend from the abyss. “You’re a great guy! Hey. Remember when we went out to cull some bandits outta that one village? And some bad guy almost got (F/N)? You managed to swoop in just before that happened! You saved her, Deems. The look of pure adoration and gratitude in her eyes after the battle... It felt good, right?”

“I... suppose.”

“Oh! And remember when (F/N) was having a hard time grasping the concept of that battle formation the other day? Who came in, and spent the rest of their afternoon tutoring her until she could explain why you needed to send the flyers in first?”

“... I did.”

“Yup! And who’s the chivalrous, hard-working leader of the Blue Lions that everyone looks up to?”

“I am.”

“Atta boy, Your Highness! See? You’re a great guy! And the fact that you’re a prince doesn’t hurt your chances either.” Sylvain’s eyebrows danced smugly.

Dimitri’s chest rose and fell in laughter; Sylvain’s eyes lit up like a star. He managed to save him-- at least for now.

“Thank you, Sylvain. I really needed that encouragement. I... I apologize for--”

“No worries, Your Highness. ... I’m just glad I was able to help.” Sylvain clasped a hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezed reassuringly.

“Um, Sylvain...”

“Hm?”

“How do I confess to her? Properly?”

Sylvain clapped his hands together and rubbed them gleefully.

“Don’t worry, Your Highness. I’ve got a plan.”

#fire emblem #dimitri fire emblem #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe3h dimitri #dimitri x reader #x reader #x reader insert #x reader fanfiction #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem three houses fanfiction #part 2 coming soon!!#sylvain would make the best wingman ngl

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unsettledink · 3 years

Text

(Part two of looking back at the fandoms I was in and the fics I wrote in 2020)

(Part one here.)

Most popular story:

By Kudos (and comments), Seiche : By hits, Indefensible : On tumblr, Pocket Change

Story you wish was more successful:

Well, that’s kind of the curse of writing rare pairs. I want anything with Tony/Quentin or Peter/Quentin to be more successful, lol. Defining the feeling of success in fandoms/pairings like that is tricky, because— do I wish they’d gotten more attention? Of course! Do I consider them fairly successful because they got any attention? Yeah, kinda.

Something like Intent got very little response, but considering the size and age of the fandom, it actually felt successful to get any response?

The entire Old Adages series I really wish had found an audience; I’m very fond of it, and it’s… softer than I usually write? The filthy smutty kinky stuff always outpreforms anything else, and that sort of thing feels easy for me. And I’m extrapolating a lot for young Quentin’s characterization, so I’m a little insecure about that as well.

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:

You know, there are several stories I feel like should be that? But let’s be honest, considering what I’ve written in the past, they’re not that bad.

So I’m going to have to go with Creepy Crawly. I mean, I get squicked a little if I read it in the wrong mindset. SPIDERS D:

Hardest story to write:

Causality. I just… could not quite connect somehow. I had the image in my head fine, but when I went to write it I felt pretty meh. I think I hadn’t done much (any?)Peter POV at that point, so that was a stretch. And I think I’d been spending so much time in the world of Gotcha that any other version of Peter/Quentin felt strange. I got it done, I have a sequel planned, but it was a struggle.

No Lies was also tricky. I picked the prompt ‘make-up’ because I had this crystal clear mental image of someone kneeling, crying, makeup smeared all over them. But I didn’t know WHO. I tried so many pairings and characters, and even when I figured out that I really wanted that to be Tony… who with? Could I actually make Peter behaving that way believable?? Once I got it sorted out the writing was easy, but getting there - gah.

Easiest story to write:

Indefensible was bizarre to write, because it literally just arrived in my brain in one giant chunk, complete, and I just had to transcribe it over a day or two. Very odd.

Pocket Change was much the same. The idea appeared and that first image of Tony holding the bill was just… there. The rest of it fell into place so easily as I went along.

Most fun story to write:

Just a Bite was a lot of fun to write. It’s a topic I enjoy anyway, and I like trying to focus in on one element like that. Peter discovering a new thing he liiiiikes is always a ton of fun.

11:59 was also surprisingly fun? Like— three characters that have interesting dialogue patterns, a slightly darker Tony, being able to indulge in nasty Quentin without him being quite a villain, the constant shifting of emotions for everyone in the room. Just so much going on in small ways. There are totally at least three more fics set in that universe.

What’s your personal favorite thing you wrote this year?

Tough call, but probably A Perfect Fit. Really, the entire insane little universe that’s expanding into. Definitely not something I would have expected at ALL back in January.

What’s your least favorite thing you wrote this year?

Maybe Can’t, Wont? Idk. I didn’t have a strong enough idea for the prompt to really make something of it, I guess. And writing Peter/Quentin is kind of difficult at the moment. It feels weird because I’ve spent so much time in the world of Gotcha that other takes on the characters are odd.

If you could go back and change something about one of the fics you wrote this year, what would it be?

Probably Want What I Want. I knew what I wanted and I just couldn’t quite make it function. So I went with a slantwise version of it - which isn’t bad, but doesn’t have the focus I wanted it to. It felt like more of a twist on the prompt than I wanted. I’d like to go back and expand it out, dig into the specifics of the prompt a little more.

And tbh, I got a comment on that very point. I’m normally really good about letting go of comments? But it was something I’d questioned myself, so it stuck more.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

(Just) Waiting Around? Maybe? As much as I love top/experienced!Peter, I had to sit down and figure out how I might be able to actually get him there, convince the reader that this was a Peter that current Peter could become.

And any of the Tony/Quentin fics. There’s not a lot given for Quentin in canon; taking those little bits and trying to follow them back to these younger version of Quentin was really interesting and difficult. How do I make this character the softer, more open, more vulnerable, less confident version of himself from 10/15 years ago, and still keep those sharper edges that will grow and take over? How do I make the reader believe both that this version could have existed and that version could actually become the canon one?

Story that was most different from what you usually write:

I mean, Relief? I’ve never written het before (and probably never will again, lol), but I wasn’t going to let the chance to write redwings pass me by.

In general, all the freaking ABO. Which I’d never written before this fandom, though I’ve read tons of it. Not something I really expected to write? And then suddenly I’m not just writing it, I can’t seem to stop.

Sustain felt pretty different, and it took me a moment to figure out why (don’t laugh at me!). I’ve never written straight up non-sexual kink before. Not just a kink scene that doesn’t have sex, but a kink scene that doesn’t even have the intention or desire for sex. Completely removing that additional layer of tension and complications is fascinating. I’m really interested in expanding that verse.

Most unintentionally telling story:

Oh, other than Gotcha, lol? Um. I don’t know if any really are? Maybe Backhand, or Sustain. Hmm, maybe Getting Started, though it’s not finished.

Now I wonder what conclusions those have people drawing.

What’s your favorite piece of description or narration?

Oh my god, what an impossible question. Uh. This is difficult because I… think of images in words? I feel very odd about the bits I picked, Idk.

It’s so small, and I don’t know if I captured it as well as it is in my head, but I come back to it so often:

Stark sits on the bed, and then seems to get lost, or distracted, not moving again until Phil pushes him gently towards the middle of the bed. He gets Stark curled up on his side, just a sliver of his back touching the sheets.

There's a chair against the wall that doesn't look too modern, so hopefully more comfortable than most of the monstrosities around here; Phil has a feeling he's going to be here a while, watching Stark come back up. He stands, about to walk away when there's a soft touch on his hand. He looks down.

Stark's arm is stretched out, his fingers just barely resting on the back of Phil's hand. He's looking up at Phil out of the corner of his eyes, head just barely turned towards him. It's a clear a request as anything spoken; stay.

"I'm not leaving," Phil tells him. "I'm not even leaving the room. I was just going to get a chair.'

There's a breath, a hesitation, Stark's hand not leaving his, and then it's gone, Stark dragging it back in, turning his face into the pillow. That was the wrong response, something about it was just... wrong.

"Stark," Phil says, leaning onto the bed. "Do you want me to stay here? On the bed? I wasn't sure you'd be comfortable with that." After all, this doesn't seem to be at all sexual for him.

Stark doesn't say anything—Phil's not entirely sure if he's nonverbal or not—but he turns his face back towards Phil a little. Doesn't quite look at him, and doesn't make a move; he's not going to ask again, not after what he obviously took as a rejection. His reactions are odd, not much like Phil had expected.

- Sustain

Or:

Beck gets Peter turned around, still kneeling but settled back against Beck's legs, leaning into it. "Toss me his shirt," he says, and Tony throws it at his face, Beck managing to catch it before it connects. Laughs, like this is fucking funny. He slips his hand into Peter's hair and tugs his head back a bit, wiping the come off his face.

"Take five, baby," Beck says, and Peter hums, resting his head on Beck's thigh and staring at Tony. Beck's petting him, hand sliding slowly though Peter's hair, and it's a fucking nightmare that Beck knows what that feels like and Tony doesn't. "You see?" Beck says. "He likes it a little rough. A lot rough, sometimes, so don't worry about hurting him. Don't worry when he cries," and Tony glares at him.

Beck's looking down at Peter, though, and then Tony is too. He's turning red again as Beck talks, but he's not denying anything, and not looking away from Tony.

Beck's hand trails down Peter's neck, hooks around the front and pulls him back; Peter's head tips back, exposing the whole of his throat to Beck's hand. "He's a little embarrassed by it," Beck says, "but he's an awfully sweet submissive too. Aren't you, honey?"

Peter looks up at him, his expression soft, open. "Yes, sir," he says, and Jesus Christ, Tony had no idea how much he wants Peter to say that to him. Peter likes it too, not just giving it lip service judging by the way his cock is getting hard again. Beck smiles.

"I'm going to miss you," he says. "You've been a lot of fun, baby." He looks up, catching Tony's eye, a smirk growing slowly on his face. "Guess I'd better make sure the last time makes up for it."

- 11:59

What’s your favorite piece of dialogue you wrote this year?

I mean, I’m very fond of Hang Up, it’s like 85% dialogue.

Alternatively:

"Looks like you're finally ready to be fucked," Tony says. "Bets on if you'll come on my cock, or if I'll have to give you a reach around with this?" settling the gauntlet on Quentin's hip.

"No," Quentin says, shaking his head as much as he can manage, "no, no, Tony—"

Tony leans in, thighs pushing Quentin's legs apart, the head of his cock bumping up against Quentin's ass. "If you manage it just once without my hand," he whispers, ducking his head and rubbing his beard over Quentin's shoulder, "I'll fund every last thing you ask for."

"No," Quentin moans, because he can't.

"Don't worry, sweetheart," Tony says. "I'll make sure you can."

- Make Sure

Story with the single sexiest moment:

AHHHHHHHHH fuck this is the hardest one.

Secondhand and Gift Wrapped both have some of the hottest moments, I think:

Peter's so hard he can barely think, absolutely can't control the way his dick jumps in Quentin's hand. He doesn't want to hear about this, doesn't want to imagine Tony with Quentin at all. Doesn't want Quentin to stop.

Quentin kicks off his pants and then he's crawling up over Peter, staring down at him with that manic glint in his eyes that Peter knows well enough by now to worry about. "He fucked my face like that," Quentin says, watching him. "Kept babbling that shit and fucked my throat nearly raw. Can't you hear it, honey?" and Peter can, he can.

"Can't you imagine it?" Quentin asks, and Peter can.

- Secondhand

And:

Peter wants— he curls his fingers in Tony's hair and yanks, Tony's head hanging loosely from his hands. He looks wrecked, sweaty and his whole face is dark, his lips wet and red and puffy, all from Peter's cock. When he opens his eyes, it's like he's not even seeing Peter, completely lost in his own little world; he's stiffening slowly, his spine rounding and he tries to brace himself, his eyes going wider and his breath getting shorter and— and is he about to come, Peter wonders. Is he really going to come just like this, from being fucked like this?

He is, he totally fucking is because a moment later Tony stops breathing entirely, his head jerking hard against Peter's hold, his whole body jerking as he comes. He gasps, eyelashes fluttering, and Peter can feel Tony's come landing on his legs, holy shit.

Pepper eases her thrusts, sinking into Tony and just rocking against him while he comes. Waits until he's gone limp, sunk down even more between her hands and Peter's; "Peter," she says. "Get a good grip on him for me. He gets all wiggly afterwards and I'm not done."

- Gift Wrapped

But if it comes down to what is probably my favorite -

Peter had already been pretty out of it when Tony came back, already wound up and just existing, no thoughts and no worries, nothing but want and feeling and response. He’d already been awfully close to flying, and this— this drops him over the edge, completely.

Some part of his head is aware of the way he’s thrusting up into Tony’s mouth, Tony taking it happily, drooling around him; is aware that Peter’s tossing his head back and forth, fighting against Rhodey’s tight grip on his hair, only making it worse with every yank. Is even a little aware that the others must be watching him, watching them, watching just like Rhodey’s looking down at him, Tony looking up, their gaze so heavy on Peter he can feel it, just like he can feel everything, every touch and every texture and every single spot his body is in contact with anything. Can feel everything, too much, overwhelming, amazing, and he doesn’t know if it’s that, or the pain of Rhodey’s grasp, or the wave crashing down on him as he comes that have him crying. Maybe it’s all of them, or maybe it’s just that he’s wanted like this, kept and held and wanted.

Rhodey kisses him, gently, and Tony crawls up over him; kisses Rhodey and kisses Peter and Peter could stay just like this forever. He can see Tony’s mouth moving, talking to him, then Rhodey, then him again, but his head is full of nothing but static, white noise.

- Flaunt

(So, uh, what does it say that all of those are threesomes?)

Stories I haven't yet written, but intend to:

SO MANY. Beyond the fics I’ve got going for other people and Gotcha, and the (hopefully) one off continuations of kinktober fics, I really want to focus on -

The rest of Deep End (I know it all exactly!)

The sad AI Peter/Tony, real!Peter/Tony

Branches of Aegis

ONE of my longer ABO pieces.

Fluffuary & Kinktober, again.

Fingers crossed. I don’t even want to think about how many more ideas will come creeping in.

#end of year #unsettled rambles #starker #spiderio #quentony

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fanfic-inator795 · 5 years

Text

RotTMNT/Baron Jitsu fanfiction: Dating… With Children - BONUS DRABBLE #5

(Also available to read on AO3)

Just something quick and silly based on something my dad used to do to me and my brother, lol. Enjoy!

Also, do you ever wonder what Lou would look like with the beard he grew once he became a rat? Because I do, all the time.

Dad-Dad-Dad-Dad-Dad-Dad-Dad-DAD!”

Lou smirked, setting his cup of tea down the moment he heard the boy’s excited voice. “Hello to you too, Donnie.” He caught his purple son with ease as Donnie all but launched himself at his father. Leo came in right behind him, slow enough to allow his twin to have his well-deserved spotlight but still smiling just as much.

Draxum was also smiling at the sight. “Well now, someone’s happy.” Despite remembering Donnie’s plan very well, he feigned ignorance. “I wonder what brought on such a good mood. What do you think, Lou?”

“No idea,” Lou shrugged, playing along, “Why don’t you tell us, Donnie? Why are you-?”

“My show and tell went GREAT!” Donnie yelled, still grinning ear-to-ear, “Everyone loved Shelldon an’ told me how cool he was! Everyone clapped, and all my new codes worked perfectly, and Mr. Suranio gave me a gold star! It was the best show and tell presentation EVER!” Noticing his dad and Draxum’s amused expression, Donnie cleared his throat and calmed himself down a bit. “So yeah, that’s why I’m so happy.”

“Aaaaand also ‘cause he’s the smartest kid in our class,” Leo commented, his tone genuine. He occasionally heard other kids in their second grade class complain about Donnie being a nerd and wondering when he’d take his annoying big brain to college already, but usually a glare from him or Raph or a calling out from April would shut them up. There was no denying that Donnie was a nerd and a smartie, but Leo didn’t mind. (Besides, he knew he was still the coolest kid in class.)

“Well, I for one am very happy for you, my son, and very VERY proud,” Lou said, pulling Donnie close. The purple-dressed boy happily accepted the hug. …Though only for a moment. Because only a second or two later, Donnie’s smile became a scowl, and he pushed his father away, hopping off his lap. “Huh?” Lou raised an eyebrow. He knew Donnie wasn’t always up for hugs, sometimes just feeling too sensitive for them and wanting his space, but he had seemed like he had been enjoying it a moment ago-

Figuring that he couldn’t just leave his father in the dark, Donnie said bluntly, “Your face ruined the hug.” Draxum nearly choked on his badly timed sip of tea while Lou just blinked, too confused to be offended.

“He means your face hair,” Leo flatly added, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Donnie nodded, still pouting slightly at his ruined hug.

At that, Lou got a bolt of realization. “Ohhh, you mean my stubble?” he asked, stroking his chin a bit.

“Yeah, that stuff! Like, geez Pop, it’s like trying to hug an itchy cactus or something!”

“Oh really now…?” Leo stiffened slightly, recognizing the mischievous glint in his father’s eyes. He tried to escape, but the Great Lou Jitsu was just too quick for him!

In one swift motion, Leo was picked up and hugged, with Lou’s seemingly-spiky cheeks rubbing right up against his face. “NOOOOO!” he yelled, squirming as he tried to push his father and his annoying, itchy stubble away. Lou could only laugh, letting the boy go after a couple seconds. “Gah, you’re so weird!”

“Oh, let your father have a bit of fun,” Lou said, still chuckling to himself. Leo just stuck his tongue out at him before running out to the TV room to join his other brothers, with Donnie right behind him.

Draxum shook his head slightly at his prankster of a boyfriend. Lou might have been in his 40s, but he still acted like a big kid sometimes. Still, at the very least, it was endearing. “Guess you’ll have to shave again soon, lest you ‘ruin’ any more hugs.”

“Eh, we’ll see.” Lou stroked his chin again. “I really do want to try and grow a beard…”

Draxum raised an eyebrow at this. He had noticed Lou’s stubble as well, but didn’t think it was a big enough deal to bring up, it most likely being caused by a lack of time to shave in the mornings or a broken and not yet replaced razor. “Seriously?”

“Yeah! Why not?” Lou shrugged, “I’ve always sort of wondered what I would look like with one.” He wasn’t too bothered by the prospect of aging, having simply put himself in the category of ‘distinguished’ actors once he found his first grey hair rather than freaking out about it. So, if a beard made him look older, so be it. He was curious, and shaving everyday was a pain anyway. “Don’t you think I’d look good with one?”

Draxum hummed, leaning forward a bit as he took a good, long look at his boyfriend’s face. “…I can’t see it,” he finally answered after several seconds of suspense.

Lou huffed, waving him off. “Maybe you can’t see it now, but trust me. When it grows out, it is going to look good.”

“If you say so,” Draxum conceded, giving neither approval or disapproval, “Though I doubt the boys are going to agree.”

“They can disagree if they want, but this-” Lou pointed at his chin- “is still happening.” With that, the subject was changed and subsequently dropped.

For the next week and a half, it seemed like Lou was sticking to his goal, his stubble getting longer each time Draxum visited - though he did try to at least try and keep his eventual beard from getting too scraggly, shaping it slightly and keeping it clean.

One Monday night, Draxum managed to make it over for supper after work kept him away for the whole weekend. He knocked on the door, just as he normally did… and a clean-shaven Lou opened the door. “Oh,” he said, slightly surprised, “Changed your mind on the beard?”

“No…” Lou mumbled, pouting as his eyes squinted in a scowl, “Those little punks of mine staged a ‘hug protest’.”

Draxum brought his hand to his mouth, trying and failing to hide his snickers. “I’m sorry, a hug protest?”

“Yeah! They told me they were doing it Friday night - no more hugs from me until I shaved.” At first, Lou had sort of smirked, accepting their ‘protest’ though not expecting it to last long. This expectation changed however after he had tried to tuck them in that night. Every single one of his son’s refused a good night hug, and then would overdramatically whine about how they had just gotten the ‘worst sleep ever’ the next morning, all because they hadn’t gotten their good night hug.

When the same thing happened the next night and day, Lou simply bit the bullet and shaved out of a mix of guilt and annoyance. At the very least, his boys all gave him a group hug the moment he stepped out of the master bathroom. “It was just too much of a hassle at that point to keep it,” Lou said, concluding the explanation with a bit of a sigh, “When they are all in their teenage rebellion ‘too cool for hugs from our dad’ phase, THAT is when I will grow my beard.”

Despite still being way too amused with the whole thing, Draxum just sympathetically patted his boyfriend’s shoulder, silently wishing him the best of luck with his goal. With it still being a while until supper and the boys upstairs playing, the two settled down on the couch, half-watching local afternoon talk shows as they talked about their day.

Lou snuggled up to Draxum’s side as his boyfriend wrapped an arm around him. With his smile softening a bit, Draxum kissed his cheek.

He would never try to control how Lou decided to look - boyfriend or no, that was Lou’s business, not his. Still, Draxun had to agree with the boys: he definitely preferred cuddling up next to a shaved Lou.

((I had been thinking about writing something based on ‘Jupiter Jim Ahoy!’ but uh… yeah the implications would’ve been wayyyyyyyyy too dark even if I was never planning on actually writing anything bad. So, silly drabble it is.

As for the next big chapter, it’s finally time to write two of the things I had been thinking about the most when I first started this fic: Christmas at the Jitsus, and TANG SHEN! Yep, Draxum finally gets to meet Shen and you’ll see the boys interacting with their auntie ^v^

So yeah, expect that probably sometime in December. …Also, with the finale three days away at the time of me writing this, just wanna say: If Draxum dies for real at the end of S1, thaaat’s probably gonna kill my inspiration to write anything after the Christmas chapter. So, yeah, just a heads up. Anyway, see ya’ll in December, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!))

#rottmnt #baron jitsu #lou jitsu #baron draxum #human au #my writing #fanfiction

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mlovesstories · 5 years

Text

You Know Who You Are Part 7

AN: @spndeanbingo square: mutual pining. Thanks to @cherryblossom1997 for giving me an idea for a section of this.

Warnings: abuse, fights, hospitals, blood, talk of abuse

Words: 1700

Summary: YN starts her recovery and sees the doc.

PS- Should I do anything for reaching 500 followers? I’m almost there!

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“Hi, YN. Lame James, how you doing, son?” James stirred from his restless slumber in the hospital. YN sat straight up in her bed.

“Terry? How did you get in here?” YN wiped her eyes, scared and tired.

“Get out of here, Terry.” James growled and stood in front of YN’s bed as a protective measure.

“Boy, you have been hurt so bad, you can’t protect her.”

“I ain’t your son or your boy. Now leave!”

“See,” he stepped into the room, “Susan and I hated each other when we first met. Eventually we tolerated each other, but my wife is taken care of and out of the way, so I can have YN to myself. Move.” As he approached YN, she was silent in shock. James pulled the emergency cord to alert hospital staff. “You shouldn’t have done that, son.” He threw a vase of flowers at James, glass breaking and spraying everyone. The older teenager was able to keep on his feet when he saw Terry lunge for YN. Fists flew until James sat on top of him, the older man’s face buried in glass on the ground. Before they could do anything, James was being pulled off of Terry, and security escorted the attacker out of the room.

“James, you’re cut!” YN saw blood trickling down his body. She started to stand, but he startled her by yelling for her to sit back down.

“Keep your feet on the bed until they clean this up.”

“I can’t- I can’t believe he-,” she sputtered.

“I know. Who knows how he found us, but we’re okay.” Wearing his hospital slippers, he walked slowly on the glass toward YN’s bed. He held her hands and kissed her forehead.

“Sir, back up so that I can check your wounds,” a nurse stated. “We’ll have the room swept and vacuumed so that you two won’t be hurt.”

“We already were by the worst man in the world! Gah!” YN slammed her fist into the bed. “You people need better security!”

As the room was cleaned, medical staff assessed their newest injuries. Once the glass was removed, James settled back into his bed which dawned new sheets.

“Thank you,” YN said calmly.

“For what?” James asked.

“Saving me.”

“You’re the one who fights. I protect you because you’re my little sister.”

Before she could respond to his sweet comment, Jensen and Danneel walked through the door.

“Sweetie!” Danneel ran over to YN’s bed.

“Ow!” YN squealed in pain as the mother tried to hug her.

“Sorry! Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah, but guess who showed up?” James asked.

“No. There’s no way,” Jensen guessed. “How could he know where you guys were?” YN saw his demeanor change from relief to anger.

“We’re fine, Jay. Come here,” she opened her arms, inviting him to hug her. “How long were we gone?”

“Eight hours.” Danneel answered.

“Longest eight hours of my life,” Jensen sighed.

“Really?” YN looked up at him.

“My daughter and her friend were missing. Of course.”

“Oh,” she saw how much he loved her in that moment. “I missed you,” she replied.

As they settled in and the police were called, YN and James took a sigh of relief. After they were interviewed and Terry was taken away, the two teens were evaluated once again.

“Oh, YN.” Jensen said in sorrow. As she was being examined, he saw scratch marks and cuts. With her casted foot and ankle, she slowly maneuvered on her bed so that staff could inspect her wounds.

“I’m okay, Jensen.” She looked up at him. “I’ve been through worse,” YN admitted. Without verbal expression, the adults’ eyes went wide.

“That doesn’t make it right that you need to be here because they’re assholes. Excuse me.” Jensen walked out of the room.

“I’m sorry, Dee. I didn’t mean to make him upset.” YN frowned.

“You didn’t. Terry and Susan did. He just doesn’t like that they did all of this to you. You both don’t deserve any of it.”

“But we made our way through, didn’t we, short stuff?” James smiled. YN weakly turned up her lips in response.

———-

After recovering in the hospital, James went back to school, and YN went home with the Ackles’.

“Stop, James!” YN giggled. “I’m fine,” she told him on the phone.

“You having bad dreams? I wish I could have protected you from-“ he started.

“You did. Now both of them are in jail. How’s school?”

“It’s good. My professors gave me a break since we got hurt.”

“They better, or I’ll come knock some sense into them,” YN sighed.

“DINNER!�� Jensen gelled up the stairs.

“Oh, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, Jamie.”

“Okay. Love you, YN.”

As they hung up, she tossed her phone on her bed and heard Jensen walking toward her room.

“Ready for your taxi down the stairs?” He smiled.

“Yeah,” YN sighed. She sat up on her bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, let’s see: I was raised by an ass and his wife, got kidnapped with my friend, and then I was attacked in my hospital room.”

“Is that all?” Jensen gave a weary smile. “Don’t give up. You-“

“I’m not, Jensen. It’s just so much.”

“I know. I didn’t mean to make light of it. I’m sorry.”

“They used to throw me on the basement.” She abruptly stated.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Being back there was hard.”

“I’m sure.” Jensen empathized.

“If I didn’t do something right he would take me down there. This isn’t my first busted ankle. Terry would throw me down the stairs to the basement.”

She went on to describe other things that he did to her. By the end of her story, Jensen was in tears.

“Are you listening to me?” He asked her.

“Yeah,” she didn’t dare look at him.

“YOU deserve to be treated like you are the most important girl in the world. You hear me? Not like how they treated you. You will never feel like that here. I’m going to do my damndest to make sure you never go through that again.”

“Okay,” a whisper all she could muster.

“Do you believe me, Princess?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Your carriage is here to take you to your throne in the royal dining room.” He grinned.

“Oh, stop!” She held her stomach trying to hold in her giggles. “I’m ready, thank you, Jensen.” She scooted to the side of her bed.

———-

3 Weeks Later

“Hi, YN.” Her psychologist greeted her at his office.

“Hey, doc,” she walked into the private room.

“I’m so very happy to see you. I’m glad you’re okay.” He grinned widely.

“Me too.”

“Have a seat, let’s get started.” He escorted her to the couch.

As they met for the first time since YN and James has been kidnapped, she told her psychologist about all of the same feelings she had years ago while in the care of Susan and Terry.

“I think we should go back to what we used to do. It will help you to work through what you’ve been through.”

“Not the notebook! Please, I hate it!” YN practically cried.

“What? I thought you liked it.”

“But that means I’m not doing any better!” YN grabbed a pillow and held it against herself. “I don’t want to,” she whispered.

“YN, this is not to penalize you. Let’s start this conversation over. Do you remember why I had you write in a notebook?”

“Yeah. It was to tell you how I felt without looking at you because it made me nervous.”

“Right. Do you think you can tell me face-to-face?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Why don’t you write down what you’re feeling this week, and then we can talk about it face to face next time. If you feel that you can’t, you can hand me the notebook, and we talk about something else.”

“Fine. But just so you know, I don’t like it.” She crosses her arms. “Can I type it? I get distracted sometimes because my brain thinks faster than my hand can write.”

“I would like you to try the notebook first,” he weakly smiled.

“Really, doc?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Fine, but it’s only because I like you.”

“Good enough for me, kiddo.”

Abruptly YN changed the subject.

“I told them.”

“What?”

“I told Dee and Jensen about what they did to me.”

“Wow. Do you feel good about it?” The psychologist placed his pen and paper on the table in front of him.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve been with them for a while.”

“I’m very proud of you.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” YN huffed, insecure of her decision all of a sudden.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m so messed up. I can’t handle all of this.” YN cried until she was gasping for air, hicupping through her tears. “It’s too much.” Once YN had stopped wailing, she sniffled.

“I am going to tell you something, and I don’t want you to respond right away, okay?” The doctor looked expectantly at her.

“Okay.”

“It’s really hard to battle, to constantly fight whatever it is. Depression, anxiety, foster parents. It gets tiring. I know you have expressed that every time you feel that you have made progress you think you have gone back to square one because of Terry, Susan, or something else that has happened. That’s simply not true, though.”

“But-”

“Just listen, please. I am not saying this just to make you feel better. What I am about to tell you is fact. I am a very smart man, and you are a very smart young lady.” He took a deep breath and watched her pick at the fringe on the pillow in front of her. “You are one of the most resilient people I know. You have fought and fought. You’re still here. I know it is so hard to keep fighting to live a productive life. You could have given up fighting for yourself a long time ago, but you didn’t. This newest family has been really good for you. Are you still listening?” He checked in with her.

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“I don’t want you to give up, so I have an idea…”

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@probably-s00n-to-be-deleted

@sbcamp08

@mangueweaschester

@girl-with-a-fandom-fettish

@skylarraker

#spndeanbingo #mlovesstoriesseries #youknowwhatyouredoing #mlovesstories #jensen x daughter!reader #danneel x daughter!reader

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dannyphandump · 5 years

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Dancing Around the Truth pt. 3

(Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | to be continued) (Read on AO3 | FFN)

Summary: The last thing Valerie wanted was to get caught up in Paulina’s plot to ask Phantom to the winter formal. Unfortunately Paulina’s made sure she doesn’t have a choice. Meanwhile, Danny just wants to finish his Algebra quiz. For @phantombreadproject for the Christmas Truce 2018.

Danny paced the small floor of Valerie’s shed, growing more nervous by the moment. Maybe he shouldn’t have picked this place. For all she said about not hunting him anymore, she hadn’t been back to clean out the torture chamber setup. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the main source of his worries.

It’s just Paulina, he told himself, trying to calm his core, which had insisted on dropping the already-freezing air several degrees. It’s not like I’m going up against a ghost or… who am I kidding, I’d way rather be dealing with ghosts than this.

His face burned in spite of the cold. It was just Paulina. Just the girl he’d had a crush on all of freshman year, until his brain had finally caught up with puberty. In hindsight, he could see just how stupid he’d been to actually try going out with her. He’d embarrassed himself because of her more times than he could count.

But that was two years ago. He liked to think he was smarter than that now - even if his grades didn’t show it. Still, he couldn’t help worrying that she’d manage to get in his head again. When Paulina wanted something, she usually got it.

And what she wants is a date with me. Well, half of me anyway. He laughed and ran a hand through his hair, which was accumulating frost at the tips. If it had been his human half Paulina was interested in, maybe things would have been different. Or maybe not. She was way too high-maintenance to add on top of his already hectic ghost-fighting schedule.

After what felt like an eternity, the shed door finally slid open - Valerie had rigged it so it worked more like a garage door, allowing her to fly in without dismounting her board. He forced himself not to react at the sight of the girl clinging to Valerie’s waist for dear life.

“See? There’s your ghost. Happy?” Valerie said, simultaneously retracting her board and closing the shed door. Paulina yelped but managed to keep her footing in - were those stilettos? That couldn’t be comfortable - as she dropped to the ground.

“You could give a girl a warning,” she muttered, but then her full attention was on Danny. “Phantom! You actually came to see me!”

He forced a grin onto his face. “Well, technically you came to see me.”

She sauntered up to him, quickening his core’s frequency in spite of himself. The past year had been good to her. Her hair was as long and glossy as ever, and her emerald green sweater clung to her waist. At least she’d given up the crop tops for the winter.

He took an involuntary step back as she got close. Too close already. Her bold, flowery perfume strangled him, intensified by his ghost form’s heightened senses. Both Sam and Valerie always had more subtle, gentle scents. He should thank them for that.

“I see you, you see me, the important thing is we’re seeing each other.” Paulina smiled. “I didn’t think the Red Huntress could do it. How did she finally manage to catch you?” She asked, talking like they were old friends. Or old… something more than that. Which they definitely weren’t.

“Uh, she didn’t.” He cast a glance towards Valerie, as if she could bail him out. She relaxed against the wall with her arms casually crossed. He couldn’t make out her face through her mask, but couldn’t help feeling like she was laughing at him. Maybe she hadn’t let the whole fiasco with Cujo and her dad’s job go after all.

“She just asked me to come, that’s all,” he said, eyes still hovering over Valerie, because that was easier than looking at Paulina. Not that Valerie didn’t look good too, but - that was another path he didn’t have the attention for now. He cleared his throat. “She said you had something important to ask me.”

“Oh. Yes. I…” Suddenly she looked nervous. Paulina, nervous? Around him? The thought was so shocking that he almost missed her next words. “I wanted to ask you to the Casper High Winter Formal.”

She stared up at him through long eyelashes, her hands clasped down by her waist. He blinked stupidly.

“Winter formal?” He echoed. Valerie hadn’t provided that detail. Not that it mattered, he guessed; a date was a date, but the school dance? There were a million reasons that he couldn’t make that happen. That didn’t stop her from quickly continuing on.

“Yes, I even asked Vice Principal Lancer if you’d be allowed to come, and he said if you signed the out-of-school forms-”

Danny gaped.

“Wait, you talked to Lancer about asking me out?” On one hand, he almost wished he could’ve seen his teacher’s reaction. On the other, she’d clearly thought this out for too long. She raised an eyebrow.

“What, do you know him or something? Anyway, he said it would be fine, and then you can even protect the dance from the inside. You know how Casper High dances tend to attract ghosts.” She flipped her hair, flashing him another smile. He did know. It was his fault the dance freshman year got wrecked. Well, mostly his fault, and a little bit of Sam and Paulina’s too. He shook off the memory.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he blurted before she could try to convince him further. The wide-eyed shock on her face, he’d expected - no one told Paulina no. What he didn’t expect was the downcast despondency that swept over her the next moment.

“What I mean is, I - I’m gonna be busy that night,” he covered, then wanted to smack himself. Stupid! Val told you you’ve gotta let her down hard! Maybe he should’ve asked her for tips. After all, she’d been the one to let him down. He’d never turned down a girl in his life, not that he’d had any throwing themselves at him like this before. It was distinctly less pleasant than he’d imagined.

“Oh,” she said, straightening her shoulders and composing herself. “I’m sure you’re very busy, being a hero and all… what exactly do you have plans to do? If you don’t mind me asking. I mean, you can’t know when exactly the ghosts are going to attack our helpless town.”

Crap. Word traps. He hated those. Ghosts, he could simply punch his way through, but he couldn’t exactly do that to his classmate. Not that he wanted to punch Paulina! Gah, he just needed to focus, think his way out of this -

He glanced over at Valerie, hoping for some kind of reassurance. To his surprise, she’d removed the faceplate of her mask to mouth something at him. What, he couldn’t tell; he was no good at reading lips. All he could catch was the word “ghost,” which could’ve meant anything.

Paulina noticed his distraction and looked behind her, and Valerie abruptly shut her mouth. For some reason Paulina still did a double take, her eyes flashing from him, to Valerie, and back as her mouth slowly opened.

“You - wait a second - you know who she is? Without the mask?” Paulina asked. Demanded, more like, with the fire in her eyes. The question caught him completely by surprise, but of course she’d ask that. No one else knew that Phantom and the Red Huntress were friends yet.

“Uhh… yeah?” He admitted. After all, Valerie was right. His lying sucked. Especially when it came to lying to pretty girls.

“And you still let her hunt you? You could have, like, found her and stolen all her equipment, couldn’t you?” Her hands braced against her hips, like his mom would do before grounding him from video games for a week.

“Well - yeah, I guess I could’ve, but she was hunting the bad ghosts, too. Besides, we’re all good now,” he said, hoping to deflect the attention away from Valerie as quickly as possible. She flashed him a grateful smile, which he returned.

“No way. She was just trying to kill you yesterday! How can you just be-!” Paulina’s outburst cut off as quickly as it began. She took a deep breath, forcing a placid smile back onto her face. “Of course, I’m sure it wasn’t hard for a handsome ghost like you to charm her.”

“What?” Valerie exclaimed. Danny nearly choked before his cheeks swelled with laughter.

“You think I charmed - wait, you really think I’m handsome?” A light green blush stained his cheeks. Maybe he wasn’t going to date Paulina, but was there any way he could get that in writing?

“Oh, quit preening,” Valerie snapped, stalking over to them. “Phantom couldn’t charm his way out of a paper bag.”

“Hey,” he pouted, falling into the familiar banter. It helped to distract him from his ex-crush still standing too close. “I’ve charmed my way out of a number of paper bags, thank you very much.”

She rolled her eyes but directed her attention back to Paulina. “The point is, Phantom told you no. Time to leave.”

“You promised me a fair chance, Huntress.” Paulina placed her hands on her hips. To her credit, she didn’t use Valerie’s name, even when it looked obvious that he knew it. “I think a fair chance would involve me talking to Phantom alone, don’t you?”

Danny’s eyes widened. “Uh, I don’t think-”

“No,” Valerie shut her down simply, crossing her arms. “My place, my rules. I’m not leaving.”

“Well, then maybe Phantom could take me for a little flight?” She batted her eyes at him. If he’d had a heartbeat, it would have been racing. As it was, his core was fluctuating, frosting over the concrete beneath his boots. Paulina didn’t seem to notice the chill.

“No,” Valerie answered for him again. As pathetic as it made him seem, he was glad. He was going to have her teach him how to turn people down.

“What are you, his girlfriend?” Paulina scowled. “Let him speak for himself.”

“Um… actually…” He stepped back and tugged at the jumpsuit around his neck.

“Well you sure aren’t!” Valerie snapped, clenching a fist.

“I could be.” Paulina cocked her hip. “What, are you jealous?”

“I’m not-!”

Danny’s eyes flickered between the two girls, wishing he could just fly out of here. He should be at home doing Algebra homework, not dealing with… dealing with… this!

“Stop!” He finally shouted, voice vibrating with the beginnings of a ghostly wail. He wouldn’t let it go that far, but the power in it startled the two girls from their argument.

“I’m not going to the dance with you, Paulina,” he said, channeling the bravery that he normally saved for ghost fights.

“Why not?” She had the audacity to ask back. Almost like she truly couldn’t believe someone would tell her no. Well, he guessed no one had before, but the response still threw him off guard.

“He doesn’t have to-” Valerie began, but he was already blurting the first reply that came to mind.

“I’m dating Valerie.”

Both sets of eyes fixed to his. One wide with shock, another narrowed in disbelief. He wanted to put his fist in his mouth. Stupid, of all the lies he could’ve tried, that was the one he had to spout? He could have made an excuse about being dead. Or literally anything else. Whatever, no choice but to run with it and hope Val would forgive him.

“Uh, what I meant was, I was going to ask Valerie. Now that she’s not trying to kill me.” He grinned nervously, trying to read her expression. The shock had faded, leaving a look that he could only compare to a Blue Screen of Death.

“You - you want to go out with her?” Paulina pointed at the other girl. “But… but you just said she tried to kill you! And - you could go out with me!”

“Lots of people try to kill me. Val’s the best out of all of them.” Wait, that came out wrong. “I mean, the best person. Not the best at killing me. I’m still alive. Well, halfway.” He chuckled.

“Don’t tempt me to finish the job,” Valerie said dangerously. Paulina’s hands shook, looking ready to snap something in half.

“See? She’s not going to go out with you anyway,” she said, reaching for his arm, which he tugged back. “I’m just asking for one date. Please. Phantom, I - you’re the first boy I’ve had a real crush on!”

She covered her mouth, as if surprised she’d let that slip. As flattering as it was, Danny couldn’t let it change his mind. Though he supposed he could let it change his tone.

“I’m sorry, Paulina.” He hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder. That was more touch than he should’ve risked, but his mind was set now. “It’s too late. I’m sure you’ll meet a nice, alive boy you can go out with.”

“Too late?” She frowned. “What do you mean, if I’d asked before Valerie stopped hunting you, you’d go out with me?”

“No, no, it’s not that,” he backtracked quickly, raising his hands. “I just… uh…” What could he say? That he’d had a crush on her years ago? At least his tongue didn’t betray him that badly. He could only imagine how she’d react to that.

“Nevermind,” she said bitterly, hunching and turning her back on him. “You’re not the hero I thought you were, anyway. Just… take me home.”

Her shoulders drooped. For once, her voice actually sounded defeated. The words cut deeper than he’d expected. Like he was getting rejected by her back in the ninth grade all over again.

“I’ll take you,” Valerie said, her tone surprisingly kind. She jumped, and her board sprouted from her feet; she extended a hand to help Paulina up. The girl pointedly avoided looking towards Danny as they rose into the air.

“We’re going to have a talk about this later, Phantom,” Valerie added with one of her signature intense stares. Danny tried not to flinch back from it.

Great. Just when he’d started to repair their friendship, he’d had to go and ruin it with a stupid lie. He never meant to ask Valerie out… or well, maybe he did, eventually. She’d only broken up with him because of ghost fighting, and now that they were on good terms… only he’d probably gone and ruined that tonight.

So much for charming your way out of a paper bag. He’d managed to cut romantic ties with not just one but three girls in the past month. Paulina was obvious; that had never been a possibility. He and Sam had dated for a few weeks before it just felt too awkward. They’d thought they liked each other romantically, but actually dating felt like walking on eggshells for both of them, never knowing how to interact anymore. Almost like neither of them were really themselves. Breaking up had been mutual, and had somehow left them closer than before, as weird as it sounded. There weren’t any more secret feelings between them. They’d always have each other, no matter what happened, and that was what mattered.

But Valerie… maybe his feelings for her weren’t quite as visceral as what he felt around Paulina, but he did like her. A lot. Especially after how she’d finally quit working with Vlad, and she’d helped Danielle… her heart was always in the right place.

“I do not need to be worrying about this,” he muttered up at the ceiling before turning intangible and flying out.

He’d deal with his conflicted feelings later. Right now he had algebra homework to finish.

XXX

As she glided through the night sky, Valerie tried to ignore the faint sniffles coming from the girl clinging to her waist. Though her helmet filtered out the sound of rushing wind, the faint crying was somehow loud enough to hear. Or maybe she was just imagining the sound because she could feel Paulina shaking behind her.

She’s probably just cold, she reasoned. Paulina wouldn’t really be this distraught over Danny, would she?

“You’re the first boy I’ve had a real crush on!” Was that true? She’d dated plenty of other guys before but… she’d seemed too embarrassed to be lying.

Valerie frowned as sympathy fluttered in her chest. She shouldn’t feel bad for Paulina. Danny didn’t owe her anything. Still, as Paulina’s oversized house came into sight below them, the pitiful feeling in Valerie’s chest grew. She wanted to chalk it up to the sheer awkwardness of seeing Paulina lose her composure, but had a feeling it went deeper than that. It was hard not to relate to another girl getting her heart broken, no matter how much she probably deserved it.

“Hey,” she said carefully, slowing her board to a halt above the sloped roof. “You good?”

“Just peachy,” Paulina snapped, but it didn’t have the same effect while she was still hugging Valerie’s waist.

“Sorry,” she muttered. It had been too long since she’d comforted anyone, and she’d never been great at it in the first place. “Phantom’s right, you know. There’ll be other guys. Alive guys.”

“Easy for you to say,” she sniffed. “Apparently he wants to date you! What did you do to him, Val?”

Her cheeks flushed. That topic was something she’d rather deal with later. What had possessed Danny to blurt that? Of all the stupid excuses he could’ve made… But the real problem was, she couldn’t be entirely sure it was a stupid excuse. Or if she wanted it to be.

Things were just… just too complicated right now.

“I don’t know,” she replied, shaking her head. She hardly even knew what he’d done to her. For all her comment that he couldn’t charm his way out of a paper bag, his neon green blush as he’d asked her out remained imprinted in her mind. It should’ve been just one more sign of Danny’s ghost side, one that she would’ve likely found creepy two days ago, but now…

She sighed. Complicated wasn’t the half of it.

“Come on, you don’t just go from enemies to looking at each other like that overnight. Something happened.” Paulina let go of Valerie and swayed for a bit before getting her balance on her own. It would be safer to put her down on the balcony, but it would be better to keep this conversation on Valerie’s turf, especially now that Paulina was regaining her composure.

“That’s between me and him,” she said definitively, though her mind was divided. Looking at each other like what? Like they were keeping secrets? Because they were, but that had nothing to do with Danny liking her.

“Fine,” Paulina snorted. “But I’ll find out eventually, Gray.”

“I highly doubt that.” Unless Danny decided to tell her his secret, it wasn’t one anyone was going to guess on a whim. “I kept my end of the deal. You promised you’d get off my back.”

“I promised I’d keep my mouth shut,” she replied, raising a finger. Valerie grit her teeth.

“Close enough. You really don’t want to get caught up in my life, anyway. I’m a social outcast, remember? Wouldn’t want to drag you down a few rungs.”

Paulina shrugged. “To get closer to Phantom? I might.”

“Get real, Sanchez. He turned you down. I almost felt sorry for you about that, but I don’t now.”

Anger flashed behind her eyes. “He didn’t - he just… as soon as you break his heart, he’ll come back to me. You’ll see.”

“Right. Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?”

For once, Paulina looked away. Discreetly she tried to wipe her eye, only succeeding in smearing mascara across her hand.

“...You don’t have to rub it in,” she finally replied. “I don’t expect you to get it though.”

“What? Being rejected? Yeah, I can.” Valerie crossed her arms. Did Paulina not remember what she’d done to her? Maybe it wasn’t the same as being rejected by a crush, but she’d been punted out of her only friend group. “Maybe it’s about time someone taught you what that feels like.”

Paulina glared. “I’m not asking for your sympathy. I’m just - I’m going to bed. Put me down.”

Valerie frowned but lowered her board to the balcony, grabbing Paulina’s arm when she lost her balance. She quickly snatched it away and hopped off the board.

“Wait, Paulina…” Valerie found herself saying. The other girl stiffened, her hands clenched to fists at her sides.

“Just shut up, Gray. Just shut up.”

She swallowed the apology that had been forming in her throat. If Paulina didn’t want to play nice, that was her problem.

She spun her board around and jetted into the night.

#tali writes #dancing around the truth #danny phantom #valerie gray #paulina sanchez

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thedepthsremember · 6 years

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20 Questions: Choices fanfic writers edition

Tagged in this by @breaumonts! Thanks :D

1. When/what age did you start writing? In elementary school, I wrote and drew my own picture books, which at that age I definitely thought was the best thing to do forever. In middle/high school, there was some self-insert Spider-Man and Harry Potter fanfic that I hope stays buried forever. I picked it back up more regularly during an awful period in college where I lost my love of drawing (unfortunate, considering my major) but still needed to express somehow. 2. What inspired you to start? Similar to my art it's been a way to express myself, to tell my side of how I'm seeing things. A lot of the time it's like solving a puzzle, what was that character thinking? And then I just keep chasing that thought.

It weirds me out that writing feels more like..... excavating. Like it was there and I’m just uncovering it. Drawing doesn’t feel like that at all. 3. Where and when does inspiration usually strike you? I do a lot of driving, so usually then, or if I'm doing something repetitive at work and I can let my mind wander. While I'm getting a massage is a random one but I'm relaxed and my mind can just play without getting in its own way.

4. Where and when do you usually to write? Morning? Late at night? On the bus? In bed? Lately it's been my favorite way to procrastinate sleeping because it's like I'm being productive! Hahaaa

I'll write entire scenes in my head before I write anything down. Sometimes I'll dash down little parts on paper or in my phone to make sure I don't forget.

5. Do you listen to music while writing? If so what genre/playlist? A lot of chill video game instrumentals are a good default, unless I have a playlist or an artist I know will set the right mood. I'm pop trash so usually that'll fall to the background enough that I can focus. 6. Which category do you like best? Angst? Fluff? NSFW? Other? I would love to wrote more fluff, but it seems to tend towards a lot of angsting and anxiety with some humor thrown in, I guess because that's how I deal with my own thoughts. I do get to give them happy endings, so that's nice! 7. Which category do you find most challenging to write? Smut is really difficult and awkward for me, partly bc part of the appeal of the actual acts irl are they help me turn my brain chatter off, so it's hard to put that back into descriptions. Plus I'm just self conscious about how personal that is.

Also anything with an actual plot. I can give you moments and that's about it. 8. If you had to pick your favourite Choices book, which one would it be and why? TRR is the one that sucked me in and stole my soul for whatever reason, BUT I can also admit a lot of that is for what it could be. It's a good thought playground. Like Harry Potter.

Perfect Match is shaping up to be my jam, I live for sci fi and found families and all that "what is the nature of humanity" nonsense. It's like Dollhouse without being built on a base of creepiness.

I also really love the ILITW cast, enough that it balances out how much of a wimp i am when it comes to scary things. 9. If your Choices LIs were real, which one (and only one!) would you personally want to be with? I've said before that Damien from Perfect Match is the closest to my irl type, but right now I'm kind of exhausted of that "I'm too cool to like things" sort of dude. Idk let's give older Lucas (ilitw) a shot. He's motivated but has a playful side, we might balance each other out. Especially after he figures himself out more in college. 10. Do you share any physical characteristics with your Choices MCs? Pics/selfies optional :) Riley is small and ready to brawl and I've basically given her an idealized version of my body type when I draw her. Uhhh like half of the others end up being long haired blondes because even though that's not my hair anymore it was like that for most of my life. 11. Which MC do you share the most personality traits with? Perfect Match MC feels the closest, a lotta the other MCs are leader types, PM MC is like Alright yeah let's kick ass so we can go home and eat ice cream. Feels very purple Hawke.

TRR MC in her more absurd moments also feels very familiar. I have a story about the fancy hats. 12. Which Choices character do you feel you have the best grasp of in terms of personality? I get Drake bc that fucker is every guy I've befriended who then caught feelings because he's not used to being treated nicely. :| He also has a “the people I care about deserve the things I want more than I do" thing that I am only now realizing feels.... awfully familiar....... :| …...let’s move on.

13. What’s your favorite Choices pairing to write for? Obviously Maxwell x MC. I love pairs that have a good push and pull, where they can be silly but care about each other.

Sidedish of MC+Drake friendship because my wish fulfillment fantasy is those previously mentioned guys stop ruining a potentially good friendship with their moping and actually be a pal, dammit. 14. What is a pairing/s you hope to start writing for? Like anything else, lmao. More friendship stuff? Hana's only been in one of my fics which bums me out.

Pretty sure some Damien x MC and Hayden x MC will be coming now that PM2 is happening. Something with more ladies. Eleanor x MC from THOBM! Ghost gf fitting into the modern world has plenty of potential. 15. What do you hope to improve in your writing? Current struggle is I keep trying to write smut and then distracting myself with what happens before/after. Gah.

More actions / feelings. I feel like too much of my writing comes from dialogue with actions peppered in to meter the rhythm.

16. Any pet peeves related to writing? So. Words have always been a finicky thing for me. Things will make sense in my head, and then I say them out loud and realize people aren’t seeing things from the same spot. So sharing my writing is A VERY SELF-CONSCIOUS TIME.

In terms of the actual process: When I just wanna write something self-indulgent and I start actually trying, and then we're like 5 miles off track from the fun part. I also get pretty self-conscious that the OOC police or something is going to come for me. 17. Are you inspired by any IRL experiences when you write? Care to share? A lot of flaws or traumas I'll saddle my characters with are my own but tweaked, because I like the idea that someone can have them and still succeed. 18. Is there any particular piece of work you consider to be your ultimate writing goal? uhhhhh i. don't. know? If I could make someone laugh and cry in the same fic that's golden. 19. Did/do you write for any other fandoms? If so which ones? I have a bunch of drabbles for Dragon Age. I also just checked my ancient FF.net account to make sure the really old stuff is gone and found some Teen Titans and ATLA stuff I completely forgot about. 20. In your spare time (when you’re not writing) what other hobbies do you pursue? Art mainly, I'm back into digital for the first time since graduation (I majored in animation/illustration) so that's kind of exciting right now. VIDEO GAMES. I like to bake but my housemates have way more self control than I do, meaning I always end up eating most of whatever it is, so that's dangerous. I do like to work out. Share and tag fandom writers! @riseandshinelittleblossom and anyone else who wants to!

#vee life #meme me

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littleredchucks · 6 years

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@agarlandoffreshlycuttears another one for you! A bit of an analysis from a slice of a Dan and Jones fic. Thank you.

“Do you miss it?” he asked.

“What? Tits?” Jones said, spreading his fingers to peak through at Dan like a kid watching a horror film. “Nah. I’ve got yours remember. Why? You miss being with a woman? Need me to shave my legs?”

(I like to imagine that Jones really appreciates Dan’s tits and has shaved his legs in the past. Jones is grumpy with Dan in this fic but he’s still got that cheeky edge to him. Same with the image of him peaking through his fingers, there’s something about Jones as I imagine him that has that Noelish childlikeness.

“No,” Dan frowned. “I mean, do you miss being with someone fit and beautiful and...”

“Do you?”

( I actually find that I tend to write Dan/Jones dialogue with less description around it, like I want their words to flow faster. Also, I feel like Dan really does not think highly of himself and gets suspicious of the fact that Jones sticks around and likes him, because he’s not used to things going right. I also like playing with the idea that maybe Jones, for all his attention seeking noise and clothes -and general Noelness- might not think of himself as fit and beautiful, but thinks that Dan is.

Jones was still looking at him through his fingers but it was obvious (even to Dan) that he was upset and scared of what the answer might be.

“I am with the most beautiful person on the planet,” he told Jones sincerely. “You’re the one who settled.”

(Dan recognising his own obliviousness is something I really like and same as with a lot of my fics I’ve forced the characters to actually talk to each other. And I enjoy the image, and sound, of Dan saying that. The eyes, the voice, oh yes please thank you. Yet Dan can even make a confession of deepest affection self-deprecating.

“Dan,” Jones said softly, bringing his hands away from his face. “I haven’t settled.”

(Heavy handed imagery= Jones revealing his face to reveal his emotions and love. GAh. sorry.

Dan’s heart hit his throat with such force that he thought he might vomit and he looked away before he had to see pity in Jones’s eyes.

“So, we’re not...”

(Gah, Dan always seeing the worst. Jones gives him his heart and Dan misunderstands. Always. I think it’s a rule. Dan doesn’t like to believe that something will go right. It’s one of the reasons I love to write him. Gotta force the hope and happy in to the man any way you can!

“No!” Jones exclaimed. “I mean, no. No, I mean, yes! We are! We definitely are! Shit. What I mean is... Dan I fell for you the first time you sat next to me in Creative Writing 101 and your knee bumped my knee and you didn’t apologise or jerk away from me. You called our lecturer a cunt under your breath and complimented the doodle I’d drawn of him in my notebook. I haven’t settled,” he said, taking one of Dan’s large hands in his two small ones. “I got lucky. I got you.”

(One of my absolute favourite things about writing Jones is coming up with scenarios about how they met. Cos Jones’ character is left so vague in the show we basically get to take his story wherever we like and weave it in with what we know about Dan. I like the idea that Jones and Dan have known each other a long time, because there is that easiness about their interactions in the show - which is almost definitely because it’s Julian and Noel and they have chemistry whether they’re trying or not, just on screen together it happens, and so it’s simple to imagine they’ve been close for a long time. Sorry I said cunt. I’m Australian and it’s considered a little less offensive here and I can imagine Dan saying it. I like the world of Nathan Barley because I get to swear a lot in it, it’s a nice outlet sometimes. Also I’ll never get tired of the image of those large, long fingers hands entwined with those short, stubby ones. Makes me happy.

Dan looked down at their linked hands and placed his plastered hand over the top. It wasn’t perfect but it would have to do for now.

(Ah, the cast. Cos this is post jump and Dan’s brain draws attention to the imperfections. But he’s also building on that. I am determined to give Dan more happiness.

“Eventually,” he whispered.

Jones chuckled.

“Yeah, eventually. Wish we couldn’t sorted ourselves out sooner but at least we got there, yeah? And I don’t regret that. I don’t regret you. I love you. Oh,” he murmured. “Sorry.”

“Fuck, Jones,” Dan whispered hoarsely. “Don’t make me cry in the middle of the fucking markets.”

“Sorry.”

“Me too.”

(I like this exchange very much. Thanks for asking me to do a little analysis on this bit, I actually don’t hate it and that’s rare for me when looking back at my own writing. The words ‘I don’t regret you. I love you.’ are pretty personally important to me. Also, gruff Dan trying not to cry, that’s a word picture I like to paint. The sorry’s are a call back to the argument earlier in the fic, that Dan’s not good at the public displays of affection and doesn’t like Jones saying it. As much as Jones was angry about Dan telling him off for saying ‘I love you’ when he says it here he’s genuinely sorry that he might have upset Dan more.

They sat in silence as the sky faded from orange to purple, until Jones sniffed and gave Dan’s good hand a squeeze.

(I probably mention sunset colours too often in my writing...

“Shall we just go home then?”

“Nah,” Dan said, taking a deep breath to clear out the emotion from his voice. “We’ve got a blazer to buy and boobs to peruse and vodka to imbibe.”

Jones gave him a grin that seemed, for a moment, to light up the closing night and Dan couldn’t help but smile back.

(My way of mentioning the sunshine smile without actually saying it. And I like the idea of Dan breathing the emotions out so he doesn’t have to hold them in. He’s done with the emotions and he’s do the determined thing. He’s basically ceding the argument to Jones without saying as much because actually agreeing or admitting he’s wrong is not something he’d do, but he’s happy to pretend it was his idea.

“Whipped cream flavoured vodka,” he reminded.

(There may have been a time in my life when I drank quite a bit of really cheap whipped cream flavoured vodka. Mmm. Fun times.

“Mm, my favourite.” The grin increased. “And maybe we can start, you know, kissing... before we get wankered.”

Jones blinked, but the grin stayed in place.

“What if there are people there who know you?” he asked. Dan shrugged.

“Fuck ‘em.”

“I’m not that much of a slut.”

Dan let out a laugh through his nose.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do,” Jones nodded. “Thanks, Dan.”

(Dan Ashcroft’s preferred way of expressing his love. Also, I like this exchange too. Cheers for reminding me of it. I like writing snippets of Dan and Jones, just bits of their conversation, because in my head they have a really easy sort of banter I guess. Also, I like that Jones is pretty relaxed about his sexuality and sexual history, and that he knows how to make Dan laugh.

“You’re welcome,” Dan told him before schooling his face back to its usual scowl. “Now mush! I can’t wheel myself around and I have a ‘pretty good’ DJ to see and ‘cool’ people to sneer at.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jones laughed, standing up and walking around to take control of the wheelchair once more.

(And they fall back in to character. Despite being a dag Dan actually tries hard to maintain his grumpy persona. I always struggle a bit with endings. I know this isn’t quite the end but it’s close and I always have this thing of trying to wind a story down and tie it up, dragging myself toward the end as I try to find the perfect last line. I like stories that end in a similar way to how they begin. I like when it circles back a bit but with closure. They start off with Dan being wheeled through town by Jones and them both being genuinely grumpy, Dan not wanting to be pushed, Jones keen to get them moving, now they end with Dan a lot more secure and telling Jones to hurry up and push and Jones pretending to not like taking Dan out on the town. Maybe, I think. I’m by no means an expert at it but I tend to try and do that, especially when it’s a little, snippet, slice of life, type story, like a few minutes out of their life. Sorry. But thank you for reminding me of this one. It’s not as bad as I thought it was.

#nathan barley fanfiction #my writing

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221bshrlocked · 7 years

Text

The Air Between Us (1)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 1742

Warnings: “Fluff with a pinch of smut.” One NSFW gif.

Anon asked “Would you be up to no good and write something nice with Bucky and a more plus sizey woman? (Preferably fluff with a pinch of smut).”

A/N: I hope you like it :) Let me know if you want to be tagged or want to request something!

Permanent Tag List: @meganlane84 @mizzzpink @bringmetheemobands@kimistry27 @fireandicewillsuffice @vacam79 @amrita31199 @badassbaker@feelmyroarrrr @aekr @sexy-sea-basss @isaxhorror @actual-bucky-barnes-trash @cassandras-musings @kimistry27 @mo320 @ssweet-empowerment

You were going to kill Sam. You were going to kill him slowly. You said yes to a pool party invitation because you trusted him when he told you a certain super soldier would not attend since he hated showing his arm.

But here you were. In your incredibly revealing swimsuit. Swimming 10 feet away from Bucky.

“If looks could kill, Sam would have been dead a thousand times by now.” Natasha splashed some water on you.

“Not in the mood right now.” You splashed more water than you meant at her, apologizing quickly.

“What’s got you in a bad mood? It’s nice out here.” She motioned for Barton to get the both of you drinks.

“The problem is Sam promised Bucky wouldn’t be here. And he is.” You tried whispering to Nat, knowing very well that Bucky could her an ant walking.

And he did. He pretended not to listen, focusing on some story Scott was telling him. But he felt a little hurt at your words. Why didn’t you like him? He never did anything.

“What did the man ever do to you?” She asked, sipping her dry margarita.

“What did he do? Seriously Nat look at him. He’s too much to handle. I can only admire…no touching.” You gulped down your entire drink, failing to notice Bucky’s smirk at hearing your words.

“Why no touching?” She raised her eyebrows at you.

“Because look at me. I’ve been to some of your parties. Fucking models throw themselves at him. Why would he ever take a second look at me?” You snatched her drink out of her hand and drank it too, making her sigh in annoyance.

“The hell? But you’re so confident all the time. Where is this coming from?”

“I’m confident with people at my level. Not with someone like him. He’s way out of my league.” You asked Barton for another drink but Natasha told him not to bring you anymore.

“How do you know if you never spoke to him?”

“Oh there is no way in hell I can talk to him. He looks at me and I turn into a fucking puddle, mumbling like an idiot.” You failed to noticed Bucky moving closer to you.

Natasha winked at him and asked for Steve to come in the pool.

“Hello ladies.” Bucky swam too close to you, making you feel slightly uncomfortable.

“H-hi.” Your response was barely audible.

“What’s up?” Steve dove in and swam towards Nat.

“Shoulder wars?”

“Alright but are you prepared to lose again?” Steve turned toward Natasha but she stopped him.

“I’m partnering up with you this time.”

“Whatever happened to-” Natasha kicked him and pointed towards you and Bucky with her eyes, making Steve nod in understanding.

“Wait then who am I going to be w-AHHHH WHAT THE HELL WHO’S-” You were carried on someone’s shoulder immediately, gasping in horror when you saw who it was who carried you.

“You ready to beat those kids doll?” Bucky put his hair back and held your thighs, making you shiver at the cold arm which was rising higher and higher as he looked at you.

“Umm you-I think…wait no Bucky I’m too heavy for you!” You tried to come up with anything so he can let you down but he laughed at your excuse.

“You forgetting I’m a super soldier darlin?” When you kept on staring at him, he winked at you and moved forwards.

“Ready?” Steve asked and you knew you had two people to kill now.

With no warning, Natasha started pushing you. The fight went on for almost five minutes, with Bucky trying to kick Steve and telling you you were doing a good job.

You almost won though. But the moment Bucky held onto your waist, the moment you faltered and Natasha successfully pushed you off his back. You hit your head on one of the steps of the pool, making you cry out in pain.

“Fuck Y/N I’m sorry I didn’t know we moved that far.” Steve was apologizing and you told them you were ok.

“I just need an icepack that’s all. Be back in a minute.”

“No you can’t walk like that let me help.” Bucky replied, carrying you out of the pool, still dripping, into his room.

“Just sit…I’ll be back in a sec.” It happened so fast that you just nodded. You were in his room. Why did he bring you to his room? It’s such a private place.

You were so invested in wondering why he was so open all of a sudden, you hissed in pain when he put the ice pack on your head.

“Fuck ow ow ow that h-hurts!” He was on his knees in front of you and pushed you towards him so you could rest your head on his shoulder.

“Don’t move. Let me see.” He placed his hand on your neck and lowered your head. You were engulfed by Bucky, your breath hitching when his hand was massaging your neck.

“Sorry doll. That was my fault. I should’ve noticed how close we were to the stairs.” He placed the ice pack back on your head.

“No you should’ve kept your hands to yourself instead of grabbing my waist.” The words left your mouth before you could even stop yourself.

Your head shot up, embarrassed at what you just said. He looked at you, smiling at your admittance.

“Do you not like my hand on you doll?” He smiled and you hated how he was playing with you.

“T-that’s not what I said. I just meant that…you should’ve…when we-” He was leaning closer and closer, making your brain forget how to form a proper sentence.

You felt his breath on your lips, his eyes gazing directly into your soul.

“What made you think I wouldn’t take a second glance at you?” His hands started descending, making you shiver at the contact.

“W-what?” You were in a daze you didn’t even recognize what he was saying.

“What makes you think I’m outta your league sugar?”

You finally registered what he said, tilting your head backwards and looking at him.

“Y-you heard me?” You wished the earth would just swallow you up in that moment.

“Super soldier remember?” He smiled at you again, making you forget everything in the world.

“I just assumed…look I’m not gonna lie you’re a gorgeous man and I just thought that you wouldn’t look at-” He cut you off before you could say anything, molding his lips with yours, rendering you speechless once more.

He stood up slowly, pushing you back on his bed and laying on top of you, his hands roaming everywhere at once. You imagine this moment a million times but it never occurred to you that his hands would feel so good.

You had to breathe at a point so you pushed him back a little, your eyes still shut.

“Y/N you’re beautiful. So beautiful that it took everything in me to not rip that swimsuit the moment you walked in today. Fuck I had get in the pool just so I hid this.” He rolled his hips against your hot core, making you moan at how good the friction felt.

He started laying kisses down your neck, holding tight on your hips.

“Don’t even get me started on how fuckin good it felt when I carried you. Those thighs…fuck they do things to a man sugar.” You were at a loss for words. He actually liked you.

“B-bucky.” Your breathing picked up the second he spread your thighs and looked at you. Before you could even beg for more, he rolled down the bottom of your bikini, and attacked your pussy, humming in response to your moans.

“Gah B-bucky d-don’t stop.” He hummed again, shooting a new feeling through your body.

“Wasn’t plannin on it darlin.” He smiled when his voice sent shocks through your dripping pussy. You grabbed his hair, attempting to bring him closer to you.

“F-fuck your tongue is-” He sucked hard on your clit, making you arch your back, letting out a particularly loud moan.

You were so close. So so close. But he stopped all of a sudden.

You were so out of it, too lazy to raise your head and look at why he stopped.

But your eyes shot wide open once you felt something on your hot core. Looking down, you saw Bucky’s eyes, full of lust, staring at your cunt, rolling an ice cube around your clit while placing another one a little higher.

“Look at you…all desperate to get off. You like this Y/N?” He looked at you, making you gasp at how much he was thoroughly enjoying this. His pupils were dilated, barely any blue left in them.

He kept on rolling the ice cube around until it melted. Taking the other one in his mouth, he rolled it around his tongue and attacked your lips again, making you scream this time around. His tongue was so hot but so cold at the same time. Flattening it out against your pussy, he sucked as hard as he could.

“Come for me Y/N. I wanna feel you come all over my face.”

And that was it. You came so hard you were sure you saw stars.

He slowly stopped, rolling up your bikini bottom once more and laying next to you, relishing how beautiful you looked after your activities.

“So…now do you believe me?” He asked, smiling at your humming in agreement.

“Honestly doll, you have no idea how pretty you look right now. All breathless and ready to be ravished again.” You slowly opened your eyes and looked at him.

“Nat was right. This swimsuit was good after all.” You chuckled.

“Definitely my favorite.” He replied.

“W-why?”

“Cuz you look like a dame going to the beach in the 40s. Brings back memories.” He leaned down and kissed you again. Sitting up, he motioned for you to get out with him.

“Why?” You whined at him.

“Because we were gone for far too long. Promise I’ll take ya out.”

“I’ll hold you on that offer soldier.”

He stopped dead in his tracks, turning around and looking at you.

“What? What did I say?”

“Fuck it.” He slammed the door and locked it, pushing you back on his bed again.

You just had to call him soldier didn’t you?

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #bucky #bucky barnes #sebastian x reader #marvel fluff #bucky fluff #sebastian fluff #bucky smut #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers

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mazurah · 7 years

Text

Betrayal and Reconciliation: A Morrowind Fanfic - Chapter 1

Ma'zurah the Khajiiti Mage and reluctant Imperial Blade has just received orders to fulfill the Nerevarine prophecies. Worse, she now has to tell Julan, her new Ashlander boyfriend, and risk damaging her relationship with him before he finds out on his own and ruins her chances with him forever.

Or: Ma’zurah finally starts to get into the serious parts of the main questline.

Please note: this is not a heterosexual pairing! Ma’zurah is intersex and non-binary, even though she does use she/her pronouns. I have attempted to treat this respectfully, even when the character makes dubious decisions.

Cross posted from my Ao3. Chapter Rating: T for language.

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Betrayal and Reconciliation - Chapter 1

Ma'zurah slammed the door to Caius Cosades’ apartment and trudged miserably through the rain. She worked her way through the trash strewn streets of southern Balmora, across the Odai river to the nicer side of the city, and up the hill to the Eight Plates and let herself inside. Removing her dripping oilskin, she hung it to dry on a peg in the hallway and went in search of Jasmine. She discovered the Redguard woman deep in conversation with Deandre at the bar, apparently discussing the details of the latest book Deandre had asked them to find.

“See, that’s what’s so fascinating about the Ra’gada mythos when compared to--” The animated Breton bard spotted Ma’zurah and waved her over with a grin. “Ah, Ma’zurah! Always a pleasure to see you! Is… everything alright?”

Ma'zurah gave him a nod of greeting and a tight smile and turned to Jasmine. “Ma’zurah needs to talk to Jasmine somewhere private.” she said in a low voice.

“Of course.” Jasmine looked worried. It was highly unusual for the normally chipper Khajiit to be so tense. “Please excuse us Deandre.” She led Ma'zurah to her rented room and closed the door behind them.

When Jasmine turned to face Mazurah, the Khajiit was wearing an expression of intense anxiety. “Ma'zurah apologizes for interrupting Jasmine, but Ma'zurah has just come from Caius…”

Jasmine immediately assumed a guarded expression. “Go on…”

“He… he…” Ma'zurah appeared on the verge of hyperventilation.

“Breathe. Did he have new orders for you?”

“Yes!” Ma'zurah burst out, “And finally explained why he has been having Ma'zurah look for all the Nerevarine information! He wants Ma'zurah to… to…” she choked and hurriedly rummaged through her bag to produce a crumpled piece of paper.

Jasmine took it and smoothed it. “I have the honor to acquaint you with his Majesty's wishes concerning Ma’zurah…” Jasmine’s brow furrowed and she continued reading in silence.

Ma'zurah closed her eyes and calmed herself, taking slow, even breaths.

Jasmine lowered the paper and stared. “I… can't believe what I just read.”

“Neither can Ma'zurah, but Caius made it clear that if Ma'zurah does not do this thing, that he will put her right back in prison…”

“So what do you have to do first?”

Ma'zurah swallowed. “Speak to the Urshilaku and ask them to test Ma'zurah to see if she fulfills the Nerevarine prophecies.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Jasmine’s expression was gentle.

“Ma'zurah does not know… probably, no. It will probably be tedious, and the Urshilaku will likely have enough trouble accepting one outlander. But Ma'zurah knows she cannot possibly be the Nerevarine, and she does not want to do this! If anyone is the Nerevarine, it is Julan! His mother speaks to Azurah! But Ma'zurah has no idea what to tell Julan… She cannot keep hiding like this, especially not now that…” Mazurah paused and closed her eyes. “She wants to tell him the truth, but Julan will explode when he finds out…”

Jasmine nodded slowly. “You’re worried he won't listen and he’ll just leave?”

Ma'zurah nodded miserably. “He makes Ma'zurah happy… she doesn't want to hurt him, but there’s no way he won't find out once we get to the Urshilaku… and if Ma'zurah tells him before that…” She halted, unable to finish the sentence.

Jasmine sighed. “You had to get involved with an Ashlander…”

“Velothi.” Ma'zurah corrected automatically in a monotone.

“Well whatever he is, he’s more intelligent than most I've seen. If you can figure out a way to get him to hear you out, maybe you can calm him enough to--” She snapped her fingers. “A letter!”

“What?” Ma'zurah stared at her in confusion.

“Write him a letter. That way hopefully he’ll read what you have to say all the way through before he tries to confront you about any of it.”

“Or he will burn it and leave…” Ma'zurah muttered darkly.

Jasmine shot her a look. “Do you have a better plan?”

There was a long pause.

“No…” Ma'zurah sighed. “...may Ma'zurah borrow your paper and ink?”

Julan was pacing the small apartment in agitation. He half wished he’d gone to the South Wall cornerclub to get drunk out of his mind, but no. He had to stay and confront her. Sheogorath! Was he ever angry though!

It had been nearly an hour, he estimated. He bent and picked up his telepathy ring from where he had thrown it against the wall, and put it on. Concentrating, he didn't hear anything. What in Oblivion was that n’wah doing?

He flung himself down onto the bed face first and screamed into a pillow. He needed an outlet. His head was becoming overwhelming again. He decided he was well past the point of wishing for a drink, he needed one now to handle living in his own head! He stood and vainly searched the shelves again for any alcohol.

The door to the apartment opened and shut. “Julan? Are you still here?” In four strides he was at the foot of the stairs. “Oh! Julan, Ma’zurah needs to talk--”

He didn't let her finish. “YOU N’WAH!” he exploded.

Ma'zurah's eyes widened in shock.

“You… faithless, traitorous N’WAH! How could you DO this to me?” Julan could barely speak; just the sight of her made him furious.

“What… Julan…?”

“You SCUM! You LIAR!! I thought I could trust you!! I had even, IDIOT that I am, started to think I might…” Julan choked, and for one second he looked like he was about to cry, but the expression became clouded by anger as quickly as it had appeared. “Gah! Forget that now! NOW you have betrayed me in the WORST possible way!!”

Ma’zurah’s expression was panicked. “Julan, wait--”

“And don't even TRY to play innocent with me! I KNEW something wasn't right about that Cosades man! So I used our telepathy rings to listen in to your conversation!”

Ma’zurah’s expression transformed to one of outrage. She balled both hands into fists, crushing a folded piece of paper in one. “You SPIED on Ma’zurah?!” She was down the steps before Julan had a chance to blink. She held up a finger in his face, claw unsheathed. Some detached, clinical portion of Julan’s brain observed that the tip of her claw was stained with ink for some reason, and noted that he had never realized just how sharp her claws looked before. “Jer khrassozay qojiit! How dare you! How fucking DARE you!!”

The hypocrisy was too much for Julan. “WHAT!? YOU accuse ME of spying? YOU'RE the spy, Ma’zurah! I know that now! You're an IMPERIAL spy! Of all people, I never thought YOU would be a spy for my most hated enemies. And that's not even the WORST of it!!”

“Go on then! ZISS! What could Ma'zurah have POSSIBLY done to make to make this worse?!”

“You're trying to pass yourself off as the NEREVARINE! YOU?!! An OUTLANDER?! How DARE you mock me like that!! And not just me, my PEOPLE, my RELIGION and my entire CULTURE!!”

She bared her teeth and hissed at him, an action Julan had only ever seen in the heat of battle. “Because that’s what all this is about, ISN’T it! It is all about YOU! You and your PETTY HATRED!! You and YOUR RELIGION!” Ma'zurah looked absolutely incensed, her teeth we're bared in threat, and her lashing tail had puffed to twice its usual size. “Or has Julan forgotten already that Ma’zurah calls Azurah Mother as well?!”

“I don't CARE!! You're still prepared to go the Urshilaku and attempt to con them into accepting you as the fulfillment of the prophecies!! That is the most offensive and ridiculous thing I have ever heard!!”

“Ma'zurah is not CONNING them! Ma'zurah is being forced to have them TEST her! Ma’zurah would get out of it if she could!”

“How can I possibly believe anything you say anymore!? I just... I can't believe you could do this to me.”

“And how do you think MA’ZURAH feels about this?!” She snarled and shoved a palm against his chest, forcing him to take a step back. “How do you think MA’ZURAH feels being forced to choose between you and herself?! Ma'zurah never HAD a choice!”

“YOU?! How YOU feel?... Wha... Stop changing the subject!! You LIED to me! Of course you had a choice! I told you my secrets, didn't I? Gods, you must've been laughing at me all along... How could you lie to me about something so important to me?!”

“Ma'zurah wonders if Julan quite understands the concept of BEING A BLADE!” Ma’zurah’s voice was beginning to sound hoarse. “Ma'zurah CANNOT just go around telling LITTLE BOYS she just MET all her secrets! She would be killed in an instant! But by the time Ma'zurah TRUSTED Julan enough to share her secrets, it was TOO LATE!” Ma'zurah’s eyes shone with unshed tears as she screamed at Julan. “Ma'zurah KNEW Julan would only react like THIS!”

“Like this?! Are you saying you think I'm OVERREACTING?! You betrayed me, and I will NEVER forgive you!!”

Ma'zurah stared at him with a stunned expression for a second before her brow clouded over again. “Then get out of Ma'zurah's apartment.” Her voice was quiet and despairing. She pointed up the stairs to the door behind her.

“Oh no. You're not getting rid of me that easily. Do you really think I'm going to sit back and let you try to mislead my people?” He crossed his arms in front of her.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Your people? You mean the people that outcast you?” Ma'zurah sounded bitter. “Ma'zurah wonders, who is more trustworthy? An outlander Khajiit who has never done them wrong, or one of their own outcasts, who they have already judged untrustworthy merely by virtue of being outcast?”

“Go on, twist the knife! Yes, I'm an outcast from my people, same as you, and probably no one would listen to a word I said. But I have to try something! I can't let you do this! You'll have to kill me first!”

Ma'zurah closed her eyes and made a strangled noise in the back of her throat with an expression that was half angry, half pained. She threw a crumpled piece of paper at him and shoved past him into the apartment. He caught the wad of paper out of reflex and stalked after her.

Ma'zurah started shoving clothing and camping items into her pack, and Julan realized she meant to leave immediately. He quickly gathered his own pack and armor, and managed to finish putting everything into his pack just in time to hear Ma'zurah slam the door behind her. He raced after her, and managed to catch up to her at the other end of the Manor District plaza. She didn't even glance at him.

She walked directly to the Mages Guild, and nearly collided with Constance who was exiting the building.

“Ma'zurah! I'm back from Vivec! Crazy Legs sends his regards and Gentleman Jim has a new assignment! Oh! And he wanted me to give you this!” Constance shoved a small handful of silvery lockpicks into Ma'zurah’s hands and grinned. Her smile faltered when she finally registered Ma'zurah's stormy expression. “Did… something happen…?”

Ma'zurah's expression softened slightly, and she tried to give Constance a wan smile. “Ma'zurah and Julan had a fight.” She pulled Constance into a hug. “Would you mind telling Jasmine that Ma'zurah is leaving for the Urshilaku camp now, and that she will be in contact if she needs any help?” She untucked a simple citrine pendant necklace from below her tunic collar as explanation--Constance's telepathy amulet.

“Oh! But if you just give me a few minutes, I can be ready to come wi--”

“Ma'zurah thinks it might be a bad idea to bring anyone else on this assignment.” Ma'zurah cut Constance off.

“What? No! You think I’m just going to leave you to handle… whatever this is without me?” Constance crossed her arms and glanced at Julan standing silent and stoic behind Ma’zurah.

“Look, Ma’zurah does not need to press the limits of the Urshilaku hospitality by bringing more outlanders…” Ma’zurah chewed her lip. “Ma’zurah is sorry, but Constance would be more of a hinder than a help in this case… But… here.” Ma'zurah swung her pack off her shoulder and retrieved a small coin purse, which she tossed to Constance. “Thank you so much for all the help today. Go buy something nice for yourself.” She tried again to offer Constance a weak smile.

“Okay…” Despite the temptation of money and shopping, Constance looked unconvinced. She glanced down at the small coin purse in her hands, then back up at Ma'zurah with knitted brow. “If I don't hear from you by tonight, I'll contact you.”

Ma'zurah nodded and entered the Mage’s Guild before she had to face any more questioning from her friend. She walked quickly to the back of the building to a room occupied by two people. Julan followed as quickly as he could.

Ma'zurah gave Ajira a nod and a wave and approached the guild guide. “Ma’zurah needs to get to Ald-Ruhn, thanks.” She fished in her pocket and held out ten gold.

Julan started searching his pack for the coinpurse he rarely ever used, and had ten gold ready by the time Ma'zurah had disappeared in a flash of magicka.

Ta’agra Translations: Jer khrassozay qojiit = you clawless coward Ziss = untranslatable swear word Ta’agra Source

Mods Directly Referenced: Julan Ashlander Companion Mod by Kateri. Constance Thief Companion by Grumpy and Emma. Jasmine Companion Mod by Jac. White Senches Race Mod by Kieve. Hlaalu Council Quarters by Princess Stomper.

Notes: This story does contain mild, non-physical sexual harassment in chapter two. Rating will be M at most. All chapters containing NSFW material will be tagged as such.

Some of the lines are paraphrases or direct quotations from the Julan Ashlander mod. I’m a fan of people taking game quotes and giving them new or more detailed context.

Lore and characterization for Ma'zurah significantly inspired by the White Senches race mod.

The letter that Ma'zurah hands Jasmine near the beginning of the chapter can be read in full here.

I’ve only recently started writing, so constructive criticism is welcome. I also really like it if you leave me comments on my Ao3.

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#TES #Morrowind #Fanfiction #Julan Kaushibael #Khajiit #Ta'agra #Thief Companion Constance #Jasmine Companion Mod #Ma'zurah the Khajiit #My Writing #Intersex Character #Non-binary character who uses she/her pronouns #Swearing #Friendship #Rocky Relationship #Fanfic #Rated T

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