#he deserves this sm after all these years and i m so happy for him but i dont think i ll ever be ready to see him say goodbye to d sport

[ditttiii]

that was the best thing i have ever seen and i cant explain the emotions. the joy seeing leo lift the wc trophy and yet that lingering bittersweetness because maybe i never will again

#the one man i loved seeing play when i didnt even understand the game #he deserves this sm after all these years and i m so happy for him but i dont think i ll ever be ready to see him say goodbye to d sport #world cup qatar 2022 #world cup #argentina nt #argentina #leo messi #leonel messi

[bucksangel]

The Blossom Tree Above

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 8.3k

Summary: Then, almost in slow motion, Bucky lifts his head, and he’s suddenly closer than he’s ever been. His face is mere inches from yours, he licks his lips and releases your hand from his face to place his on your thigh. Bucky’s face grows closer to yours, both of you breathing heavily as you prepare for what you’ve wanted ever since Bucky came to the tower. And just as you’re gaining the courage to kiss him first, a loud - Bang! Bang! Bang!

Warnings: sm-ut, 18+ only, tad bit of self-deprecation on Bucky's part, mild angst, mention of de-ath, or-al (f and m receiving), no actual penetration tho, so much fluff, sam and sarah are good bros, Bucky deserves happiness and he gets it finally, mild jealousy, pet names (plum, baby, sunshine (sam says this platonically))

a/n: this is a commission for the very lovely @splendidreads

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“I didn’t think you’d come.”

Truthfully, and as rude as it might sound, you weren’t planning on it originally. Ever since the Snap, and the subsequent reversal, you’d never really kept up with everyone, nor did you stay in one place for long. You were content with your traveling, in some ways excited over the new and cool places you’ve been to that have helped shape who you are today.

You’d changed your phone number about a year into the Snap, with only Tony and your Uncle Happy knowing it. So, when you got a call from an unknown number you were hesitant to answer it. No one should’ve had access to this number, so you let it go to voicemail. But then, mere minutes after the call ended, the same person called again. And again after they left a message when you’d once again sent it to voicemail.

That time, tired of the constant ringing, you’d picked it up with a cautious, “Hello?”

What a surprise it was to find out it was Sam. He wouldn’t tell you how he got ahold of your phone number, though you suspect your unofficial Uncle Tony may have given it to him. Tony’s never been one to not meddle. Even still, Sam had told you of a little get-together he was having and practically begged you to come.

“C’mon, I miss you. Don’t you want to see your favorite superhero?”

You’d laughed at that, claiming that you didn’t have a favorite - though anyone that knew you well enough would know that it was Bucky. You don’t tell him that, though you’re sure he’s rolling his eyes.

It took a good while of begging and bribing you with his homemade pies, but the final nail in the coffin was him telling you that a certain someone was going to be there. And though he didn’t say exactly who, you had a pretty good idea of who it was.

So, after trying - and failing - to accept his invitation and saying multiple times that you didn’t care if Bucky was there or not, you both said your goodbye and you made plans to take the next available flight to Louisiana.

“Of course, I’m here, I missed you guys,” is what you say instead, giving the man next to you a warm smile.

Bucky doesn’t say anything for a moment, seemingly thinking over something in his head before he nods and gives you his own warm smile.

“I missed you too,” He says softly, a twinkle in his eyes. Then almost immediately his eyes widen ever so slightly. “I mean - Sam misses you too, we all do.”

You chuckle, barely able to hold back rolling your eyes fondly. Instead, you push at his arm weakly, tossing him a drawn-out, “Suuuure.”

A comfortable silence envelops you, and you’re content to continue sitting on a patio chair next to Bucky’s as you eat. But then Bucky pipes up.

“Do you remember the day we met?”

Of course, I do, idiot. Is what you want to say, but you don’t. Instead, you nod with a grin.

“You mean when you almost fell on your face because I smiled at you?”

It was Bucky’s first day at the tower, his hair was long, pulled back by a rubber band with stray hairs hanging around his face that he had to constantly tuck behind his ears. Steve had taken it upon himself to give Bucky a tour, showing him the gym, the common area of the Avengers level in the tower, and where his room would be. Then they’d gone around and introduced Bucky to each of the Avengers and a few SHIELD agents that were seen mingling about.

Each introduction went as follows - Steve guided Bucky to each member individually and let Bucky tell them his name as he holds out a shaky hand, his flesh one, as he tries to maintain eye contact as much as he can stand. He also finds it fitting to thank each person he meets for letting him stay with them because, in his eyes, it should’ve been a risk for him to be there.

Everyone was welcoming, though clearly a little wary. Natasha had helped as well, having known what he’d been through and giving him comforting smiles once in a while and a small head nod to show him he was doing a good job. It should’ve been embarrassing, but the fact that he had at least two people in his corner - he was still determining if Sam could be included in that - was comforting.

Up until you voluntarily came up to him. You seemed innocent to who he was, reaching out your hand first and offering your name before he could to hopefully show him you didn’t judge him. Of course, you weren’t oblivious to who he used to be and what he did, but none of that changed the fact that you thought Bucky could and would do better, that he could trust you if he ever needed help.

He was frozen for a solid minute, having to have Steve nudge him with his elbow to snap him out of his trance. Could anyone blame him though? You were beautiful, with a positive and bright aura that would be almost overwhelming to someone who’s only ever known darkness. But it wasn’t, because the second he heard your voice he knew he was truly and rightfully fucked.

Bucky was quick to give you his name as well, shaking your hand a little softer than the others in fear of hurting and scaring you. He was stumbling through his way of thanking you for letting him live with everyone when he heard a small chuckle disguised as a cough. Bucky ignored it and continued.

But you stopped him soon into his rambling, insisting that he needed and deserved a safe place to stay and that you all would offer that to him. You’d said you would be there if he ever needed anything, and Bucky had no idea what to do with this information. Because how could he deserve help? Who could think he deserved any sort of redemption?

You did. And as you were backing away, you gave him such a warm and friendly smile that he had to hold onto the counter behind him in order to not fall. You’d giggled, light and happy, and Bucky swore he had never and would never hear anything more melodic than that.

“I didn’t almost fall,” Bucky huffs with a playful roll of his eyes. “I… just hadn’t been feeling good and happened to feel a little nauseous enough that I had to hold onto the counter when you smiled at me. There was absolutely no correlation.”

You laugh at this, loud enough that you earn the knowing glances of Sam and Sarah from your peripheral. “Sure, it was just a coincidence.”

Another small silence follows, and you take a few more bites of stew before Bucky speaks again, softer and more sincere.

“Thanks for the food.” He smiles at you, small but no less genuine. And you have to shake your head.

“It was no problem. I would have felt bad if I just showed up empty-handed.”

“Still,” He mumbles, glancing down at the food before looking at you again. “It’s nice. It reminds me of before all this shit happened, ‘simpler times’ if you will.”

You nod, knowing exactly what he means. You haven’t made this specific stew since you lived in the tower with everyone. Every evening people would take turns cooking, but yours was by far the favorite, your food, nearly all made from scratch, served as a comfort for a lot of the Avengers.

Bucky especially. He’d once told you that the flavors reminded him of spices his ma would use when they had a little extra money to splurge on the real stuff instead of plain boiled potatoes. That made you smile, and you’d made a mental note to make it more often if it helped him.

He reaches over the arm of the chair to place his hand - cold metal - gently on your shoulder. “I mean it, thank you.”

Nodding again, you place one of your own hands on top of his, squeezing softly even though you know he can’t feel it before encompassing it to cradle it.

“You’re welcome, Buck.”

____________

The water before you is nearly crystal clear, a light blue hue being drowned out by the golden rays of the setting sun. It shines on the water, the sky is an array of yellows and oranges and pinks, slowly getting darker and darker with each passing minute. The way the wind blows through the trees surrounding the lake makes a calming noise to accompany the serenity of finally being at ease, finally able to let your mind rest and go blank.

Then, suddenly, a hand covers yours from where they rest on either side of your body. The hand, hard metal, slowly turns your hand over before intertwining your fingers together and squeezing softly. Turning your head to your right you see him, Bucky, with his smile so loving and eyes so soft and enamoring. His long hair is pulled back into a bun, though there are a few stray strands that have fallen to frame his face.

Neither of you says anything, simply staring at each other as the tension slowly rises. Without thought, your free hand lifts to tuck the strands of hair back behind his ears. His other hand, the one not holding yours, shoots up to grasp your wrist. He nuzzles into the palm of your hand, almost like a cat, and places a few delicate kisses there.

Then, almost in slow motion, Bucky lifts his head, and he’s suddenly closer than he’s ever been. His face is mere inches from yours, he licks his lips and releases your hand from his face to place his on your thigh. Bucky’s face grows closer to yours, both of you breathing heavily as you prepare for what you’ve wanted ever since Bucky came to the tower.

And just as you’re gaining the courage to kiss him first, a loud - 

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Your eyes fly open, your heart racing as you sit up straight on your bed. For a moment your mind wants to play off the sound as a figment of your imagination, desperate to go back to sleep - specifically back to the dream you were having. But then another knock sounds through your room.

“Friday, who’s at the door?” Your voice is a little shaky, not used to anyone disturbing you at nearly one in the morning, so your mind is automatically jumping to the worst possible scenario.

“It is Sergeant Barnes, Ms. Hogan. I detect symptoms of a panic attack.”

Suddenly you shoot up off the bed, nearly tripping while you try to untangle the sheets from your legs. Once you make it to the door, you pull it wide open, eyes wide and heart heavy as you take in Bucky’s appearance.

As mean as it might seem, he looks awful. His eyes are red, the dark circles under them are prominent as though he hasn’t slept in days, and he’s hunched in on himself. He looks like a sad kitten, begging to be pet and loved.

“Bucky?” Your voice is low and smooth, not wanting to frighten him off by being too brutish.

“I-I’m sorry, I just… I shouldn’t be here, I know you were probably sleeping but… I just wanted to be around someone.” Bucky’s mumbling is almost incomprehensible, the way his head is tilted down makes it hard to read his lips, but you hear him just the same.

So, you reach your hand out slowly, asking softly, “Can I touch you, Bucky?”

It takes a moment, but Bucky nods ever so slightly, leaning into your hand when you hold his arm. As soon as you wrap your hand around his bicep as best you can and pull him into your room he nearly collapses into your chest. His arms go around your waist, pulling you to his body and crushing you in a desperate hug.

Your heart breaks, and you find it hard not to cry yourself. But you stay strong, determined to help Bucky. So you maneuver you both back to your bed, managing to disentangle from Bucky’s hold just enough so you can get under the covers before pulling him along with you. Once you’re comfortable laying on your sides facing each other, you scoot forward and wrap one of your arms around his shoulders, guiding him to lay his head on your chest. He goes easily, resting his head down with his ear directly over your heart, listening to the steady rhythm of the thump, thump, thumps.

It takes a long while of you holding Bucky before he speaks, so low you’d miss it if you weren’t hyper-aware of his anxiety and knowing you need to comfort him.

“Why do you like hanging out with me?”

This surprises you. You’d expected him to tell you about whatever it was that has caused his distress, not this. But, you decide not to question him, knowing you shouldn’t fight him on anything when he’s in this state.

“Because you’re fun to be around.” It’s said sincerely because you are. Being around him makes you happy, happier than you probably should be considering you’re just friends.

“No, I’m not,” he mumbles sadly. “I don’t even talk that much. I don’t go out because I hate crowds. I’m still not too caught up on all these new technologies and I know that’s frustrating when we’re trying to watch movies on the tv because I don’t know what I’m doing. I almost broke your nose once when you snuck up on me. I don’t see how that’s fun.”

You sigh, taking a moment to gather your thoughts. Immediately, you want to tell him that those are all the reasons you like him, that it’s endearing when he has to ask you how to use his phone, or that you don’t mind that he doesn’t talk too much because you do enough talking for the both of you.

You don’t, though. Instead, you tighten your hold on him and place a delicate kiss on the top of his hair.

“I get angry easily. And sometimes it’s hard to control. I can cook but I burn any dessert I try to make. I don’t like driving for long periods so whenever I go on a trip it takes longer than it should because I need breaks sometimes. I’m late for almost everything.”

You pause, taking another breath.

“And yet you still like to hang out with me right?” You wait for him to hum his agreement before continuing. “See? We all have our faults, things we don’t like about ourselves, or flaws we should probably work on, but that doesn’t mean that absolutely no one will like us. We can still be loved.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything, merely tightening his hold around your waist and nuzzling his face in your chest. It’s silent for a long while, your fingers running through his hair and your other hand rubbing up and down his back. But one question is burning in the back of your mind.

“Is this about those agents?”

‘Those agents’ are the group of newbies that have a habit of talking too loud and being a little too ignorant when it comes to people’s pasts. Yesterday you and Bucky were walking to the gym when you’d heard those same agents talking about how they didn’t know how you did it, how you were able to be friends with ‘a monster like him’. You’d hoped Bucky hadn’t heard it, which is why you did nothing at the time. You didn’t want to bring it to his attention if he was oblivious to it in the first place.

When Bucky sniffles but says nothing, you have your answer.

“You’re not him anymore, Bucky.”

“Then why do people still think I’m a monster?” His voice breaks on the last word, tears clouding his vision as he tries his best not to let them escape.

“Bucky,” You mumble, using one of your hands to cup his cheek and guide his head to look at you. And your heart breaks even further at the broken look on his face. He’s not sad, not even depressed, he’s tired. He’s tired of being accused of still being The Soldier, he’s tired of being seen as a monster, and he’s tired of people assuming he was in control when he was forced to do the things he did.

“Listen to me, okay? You know you’re not the soldier, I know you’re not the soldier. Everyone who thinks about it sensibly knows. I know it doesn’t help because some people might always see you that way, but you know you’re not him. You know how much progress you’ve made, how far you’ve come from when you first moved in two years ago. And that’s all that matters. The people who love you will always love you, they’ll always know the truth, and that’s what’s important. Just because ignorant assholes refuse to open their minds doesn’t mean that’s what you’ll always be.”

Bucky’s lower lip starts wobbling, and a heartbreaking sob escapes his lips as he shoves his face into your neck and starts crying. And you let him, just holding him tightly to you and murmuring loving words into his hair as you press kisses wherever you can.

Eventually, he stops, but only because he’s drifted off to sleep, having exhausted himself. But that’s okay, because tomorrow you can talk about it more, but tonight you’re going to hold him close.

____________

It’s a little after mid-day and you’re already a little tired. You’d been at Sam’s place for a few hours, and the Louisiana heat is something you were not used to. Couple that with the few beers you’ve been drinking have you feeling off-kilter.

Right at the moment you’re thinking of going inside, Sam appears next to you with a glass of ice-cold water.

“Hey Sammy,” You say with a smile, gratefully accepting the glass from him and downing a third of it almost immediately.

“Hey, sunshine,” He smiles back at you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. And it’s clear he’s also been drinking. “Y’know, I really am glad you came. I’ve missed you a lot.”

Sighing, you look down. You’re not regretful of your choice to travel, but you can’t help but admit that you missed him too. He’s always been fun to be around, witty and kind, and always ready to cause trouble.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I just…”

“Don’t apologize,” He says sternly, shaking his head. “I know why you did it, and I’m not judging you. I just... We missed you, you know? So, I’m really glad you came.”

It’s silent for a moment, and you lean into his embrace as you watch Bucky play around with AJ and Cass. It brings a smile to your face, seeing him so carefree and, dare you say, happy. You’ve never seen him so relaxed, and you’ve always wanted it for him, so you can’t stop the smile nor the fondness shining in your eyes.

“Bucky’s glad too.”

And, there it is. You should have known Sam wouldn’t leave your crush on Bucky alone. He’s always been teasing you about it, harmless teasing, but joking nonetheless. Shaking your head, you move so Sam’s arm falls from your shoulders.

“I know what you’re doing, Sam.” 

“What are you talking about? I’m just saying that he missed you,” He smiles knowingly, giving you a smirk that shows that he must be up to something. “And I know you missed him, judging by the way you were so quick to agree to the invite once I told you that he’d be here.”

“It’s just…” You sigh again, your head turning to look back at Bucky, and you’re forced back in time to right before the first war against Thanos.

Your hands are shaking, fingers never not fiddling with each other in anxiousness. You’re walking next to Bucky who, though he tries not to show it, is nervous as well. His shoulders are tense and his hands flex into fists every so often.

Then the quinjet comes into view, the other Avengers and various SHIELD members already boarding. Bucky stops abruptly next to you, causing you to stop too. Turning to look at him, you see his deeply furrowed brows, his mouth opening and closing like he’s trying to figure out what to say.

“Buck…” Whispering, your hand reaches for his, squeezing it tightly. You’re unsure as to what to say either, a tense silence building around you. You know the stakes, you know that many might not survive, but leading up to this day you’ve been praying to any God that exists to let them be okay, to let Bucky be okay.

It’s stressful for him, you know this. And you don’t know what you can do to help him if you can even do that. It brings tears to your eyes, and Bucky is quick to bring up his free hand to wipe it away.

“Listen, I-” Bucky gets cut off by Steve calling for him, letting him know that they need to leave soon. Bucky nods to him, then turns his attention back to you.

“I’ll come back soon, okay?” His voice wavers and you both know that he can’t promise that, but it does help a little knowing that he’ll try to keep it.

“You better,” You tell him with a watery laugh. “Our movie night is in two days, and there’s no one else that will watch those weird French films with me.”

Bucky chuckles and nods his head, staring into your eyes for a moment. And for a split second, you think he’s going to kiss you, you want him to kiss you. You’ve wanted it for years, praying that he returns your affections.

He doesn’t kiss you.

Instead, he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you flush to his chest in a bone-crushing hug. His head dips so it’s nuzzled into your neck. And you’re stunned for a second because Bucky has never been one for physical affection in public. But, you’ll take whatever you can get, so you hug him back, trying to squeeze him tight too.

The hug lasts longer than a hug between friends should probably last, but neither of you can seem to pull away. It takes around two minutes for Bucky to relax his hold on you enough so he can lean back and look into your eyes.

“I’ll come back to you, plum. I promise.” With that, he presses a lingering kiss to your forehead, then disentangles himself from your body so he can step back.

Watching him walk away is terrifying, heartbreaking. But you hope the small smile you give him as he steps inside and turns to face you will try to ease his own fears, and you try desperately to memorize his every feature. Now, all you can do is sit by and hope he comes back.

He doesn’t.

“Ever since… then, nothing’s been the same. I had to get away from everything, I couldn’t stay in one place for too long because I didn’t want to develop any more emotional attachments. I’ve lost so much, so many people, and I couldn’t deal with the possibility of losing anyone else.”

You pause, looking down at the ground to avoid any sympathetic look in Sam’s eyes. You’re tired of that.

“But then everyone came back, and I know I didn’t show it, but I was so happy. I was happy you guys got back, that even if things were different you were back to liven things up. I just…”

Again, you pause. Looking up towards Bucky, still playing with the boys, tears fill your eyes.

“I guess I wasn’t ready for all my emotions toward him to come back. And I knew they would as soon as I saw him.”

“And now?” Sam prods, finally managing to catch your gaze when you turn your head to face him.

“Now, I… I think I’m ready.”

____________

There’s soft jazz music playing throughout the kitchen, on a low volume because people are starting to head off to bed. You’re in the kitchen by yourself, your phone connected to the speaker, swaying your hips to the beat as you set about cleaning up the remnants of dinner and the subsequent dessert. There’s a small smile on your lips, thinking of how everyone praised your food - not the dessert, that was store-bought.

As you’re placing the rest of the dishes in the sink you hear soft footsteps rounding the corner into the kitchen. Turning around, you smile when you see him.

Bucky.

“Oh! Hey, Buck.”

His eyebrows furrow for a split second before he goes back to his ‘resting murder face’ - Sam’s words.

“Hi, Ms. Hogan.”

You let out a short chuckle, shaking your head.

“Please don’t call me that, you can call me by my real name, you know,” You give him a teasing look, then start filling the sink with water so you can rinse off the dishes. “Oh!” Pausing, you quickly go to the microwave and pull out a bowl of the stew you made.

“I saved some food for you.”

Bucky walks toward the kitchen island slowly, cautiously. As soon as he sits on the barstool you place the bowl and silverware in front of him. For a moment it looks like he doesn’t know what to do, he’s just staring at the food intensely. But then he looks up with a smile, a small one that, honestly, looks tense. Like Bucky isn’t quite sure how to do it.

“Thanks.” He looks up at you with a twinkle in his eyes, one you register as a small amount of tears. “I mean it.”

“It’s not a problem, Buck. I made too much anyway.”

With that, you go back to the sink and turn off the water, starting to rinse off the plates so you can put them in the dishwasher. It’s quiet for a long while, with you cleaning and Bucky eating. As you start wiping down the counters Bucky finally speaks up.

“It’s really good,” His voice is timid, a flush covering his cheeks.

“Thanks, it’s my mom’s recipe. She used to let me ‘help’ make dinner, so I picked up a lot of her homemade dishes.” And two seconds after you say this, Bucky speaks again.

“Where is your mom?”

And maybe you should’ve expected that question, but it still takes you off guard. It takes a moment to process it, and your head lowers.

“She’s… not alive.”

Bucky goes quiet once more, and when you turn to look at him, he looks almost guilty, like he feels he shouldn’t have asked. But you’re not mad, how could he know?

“Oh, I-I’m sorry. For asking.”

You start shaking your head immediately, “No, Buck, it’s okay. You didn’t know.” It’s silent again, except for the jazz music still playing in the background.

It takes only a few more minutes of wiping things down before you deem the kitchen clean enough. And when you look back at the man at the counter, he’s already staring at you, some unreadable expression in his eyes.

“I was twelve.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrow and his head tilts in confusion. You go to sit next to him, facing him as he continues to slowly eat.

“I was twelve when she died. Well, my dad too. There was an… accident. A drunk driver slammed into their car on their way to pick me up from school. My father was pronounced dead on the scene, and my mom was taken to the hospital, but she died two days later.”

You can’t help but sniffle a little, catching Bucky’s attention. He looks a little worried, and you’re quick to rest one of your hands on his and squeeze it to let him know you’re okay.

“My Uncle Happy was the only relative I had left, so he took me in. He raised me pretty well, especially since I had just lost both of my parents and I didn’t exactly have the best attitude because of it. He brought me here shortly after I turned 18, and Tony let me know that I could stay here as long as I wanted.”

Bucky nods when you don’t continue, though he does look down at where your hand still rests on his. As if in slow motion, he turns his hand over so he can wrap his fingers around yours and squeeze.

“That must have been hard.”

And for once in your life, you don’t see sympathy in his eyes, you don’t hear pity in his words. Typically, people offer condolences and don’t bring up your parents again for fear of upsetting you. And while you appreciate that, you don’t want to never speak about them again, it feels like you’re forgetting them. But one thing about his statement does stand out.

He’s not being sympathetic, it’s empathy. Yeah, he’s sorry for you, but hearing him acknowledge how hard it was makes you feel better, makes you feel seen. Bucky knows better than anyone about loss, so it’s not a surprise that he knows just what to say.

“It was. It was really hard. And it still is sometimes. I’ll always love them, and I’ll always miss them. And I know it’s cliche to say, but time and work do heal wounds. Not all of them, not even most of them, but with enough effort and self-kindness, I was able to find a way to live without the constant pain that suffering can bring.”

With another squeeze of his hand, you stand up and grab his now-empty bowl. As you step around him, you place a hand on his bicep.

“You will too.”

____________

It’s nearing ten in the evening when everything finally winds down. Friends have left and Cass and AJ are forcing their eyes open to prevent themselves from falling asleep on their feet. Bucky and Sam are outside cleaning everything up while you and Sarah are inside doing the same.

“So,” Sarah starts, and you can already feel your eyes rolling. “You and Bucky, huh?”

You sigh, placing a few dishes in the sink as you shake your head.

“What about me and Bucky?”

“Oh don’t play dumb with me. I may not have known Bucky for long, and I just met you today, but I’d have to be blind to not see how you two are with each other.”

Your heart unintentionally skips a few beats, you know that Bucky may return your feelings, but accepting and confronting it without his actual input is what stalls you from doing anything.

But she does have a point, because you know that you don’t look at anyone the way you look at Bucky, you’re not as affectionate with anybody else, and you most certainly don’t tell other people what you tell him. But you don’t tell Sarah that.

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sarah scoffs, then comes up to you so she can take hold of your arm.

“Listen,” she says, gently turning you to face her. “Like I said, I haven’t known Bucky for long. But what I do know is that I’ve never seen him smile so much, I’ve never seen the way he lights up when you look at him.”

She pauses, and for a moment you think it’s over. But, no. Of course, it’s not.

“I also know that I want him to be happy. And it just seems like you make him happy.”

Everything’s silent for a moment with you ruminating on her words. Because as much as you want to deny her claims, you can see how some of them can be true. Hell, he almost fell over when you first smiled at him.

But just as you’re about to speak, all of the boys come walking through the door.

Sam has Cass slung over his shoulder, the younger boy laughing and slapping Sam’s back as he demands to be put down.

“Sam!” Sarah scolds playfully, giving him a glare that makes him carefully place Cass down.

“What’s going on here?” Bucky asks as he follows behind AJ. And at Sarah’s knowing glance she throws your way, you quickly step in.

“Nothing, I was just telling Sarah that I can handle the rest of the cleanup while she puts the boys to bed.” You shoot her a mild glare, praying she goes along with the lie.

“Actually, I’m going to take the boy’s to their friends' house. Figured us adults could have a night without the kids.” And the knowing glance Sarah sends your way makes you want to roll your eyes. Then, as she’s ushering the boys out the door, she yells, “Goodnight everyone!”

All three of you echo her words, and when she’s finally out of earshot Sam comes up to stand between you and Bucky.

“Actually, I can handle dishes, why don’t you two head to bed? I’ll take the couch, you two take the guest room.”

Bucky’s eyes go wide, and he licks his lips nervously as he glances at you to see your reaction.

“Sam, it’s fine, I can take the couch.”

Sam shakes his head, putting a hand on each of your shoulders.

“I’m not letting a lady take the couch when there’s a perfectly good bed, and I’m definitely not sharing one with Robo here.”

All of you pause for a moment, before Sam smirks. “Unless you wanna share a bed with me?”

Bucky clears his throat, which gathers your and Sam’s attention. “N-no. No, it’s fine. I’ll share it with her.”

He says it kind of gruff, shooting a mean look at Sam. Sam, in turn, laughs, then pats both of your arms and pushes you both in the direction of the guest room.

“Well, since that’s settled, go get some beauty sleep.”

And as you’re about to walk down the hall, Sam pipes up once more. “Don’t have too much fun you two!”

And as you both enter the room, you’re suddenly nervous. Yeah, you’ve shared a bed with Bucky before, but that was Before everything. This is Now. And you’re not too sure you can get an actual good night's sleep with the man you’re in love with merely inches away.

As you’re standing in the middle of the room, Bucky appears at the door with a few clothes.

“I, um. I brought some extra clothes, you can have some if you want.” He sounds nervous, and when you turn to him you can see a blush start rising on his cheeks beneath his stubble. 

You reach out to grab the clothes he offers and his gaze falls to your hands so close to his.

Slowly, tension rises in the air, and it’s almost like everything is going in slow motion. You look up at him through your eyelashes, and he looks back at you with almost slight desperation. Both of you are quiet for a long moment before you can muster up a smile.

“Thanks, Buck.”

Then you retreat to the bathroom to change, as well as to get some much-needed space so you can calm your racing heart. 

“Jesus Christ,” You mutter to yourself as you strip your clothes. “Get it together. It’s going to be fine.” When you slip on Bucky’s maroon henley - the one you can’t help but drool over whenever Bucky wears it - you turn towards the mirror. The sleeves go past your hands so you have to roll up the sleeves just so you can use them, and it rests just above your mid-thigh. And you can’t deny the way your heart skips several beats at seeing yourself in Bucky’s clothes. It makes you feel safe, protected, and, dare you say it, loved.

After another minute of hyping yourself up, you finally exit the bathroom to see Bucky pulling out a blanket from the closet and holding an extra pillow.

“What are you doing?”

Your words make him pause, and he whips his head over to you with wide eyes. He clears his throat and licks his lips, eyes quickly dipping down to look at your bare legs before looking back up at your eyes.

“Um,” Bucky clears his throat, glancing down at the ground before turning back around. “Just getting another blanket. I’m going to sleep on the floor.”

“No, you’re not.” Walking up behind him, you place a hand on his shoulder and turn him to face you. And you’re suddenly extremely aware of the lack of space between you two. And the tension begins to rise again.

“We’ve shared a bed before, it’s fine.” Your voice is soft, and you can’t help but run your hand down his arm until you can grab his hand and pull him towards the bed. And Bucky, of course, is helpless but to follow your lead, he lets you guide him to lay on the bed while you situate yourself on the other side.

Eventually, you both are laying on your sides in the dark, facing each other. Everything is quiet, and even though the only light in the room comes from the moon shining through the window, you can still make out Bucky’s features, and his eyes that are trained intensely on yours.

“Buck-”

“Plum, I-”

Both of you laugh softly, and you reach your hand out to place it over his that’s resting between you two. “You go first.”

Bucky sighs, then nods, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them and turning his hand over so he can grasp yours.

“I was talking with Sam today,” He starts, smiling when you playfully roll your eyes. “Anyway, I was talking to Sam. And… and he was talking about how glad he was that you came today. That he missed you, and he just - just started talking about how great and wonderful you are. And you are. You really, really are. But I just couldn’t help but feel… jealous. I know he was probably just trying to rile me up, but hearing someone else talk about you like that just - it just made me realize that I don’t really have the right to be jealous. Because we’re not dating. But it also made me realize that I want to be. I mean, I’ve wanted to be with you for so long, even before the snap, and after going through so much throughout my literal hundred years of living, I don’t want to let go of anything that’s brought me happiness.”

He pauses, then releases your hand so he can bring his up to rest it on your cheek, rubbing it in slow circles with his thumb.

“You make me happy. Happier than anyone has ever made me. And I may be way off-base here, but I don’t think I am. I don’t want to waste this chance I’ve been given, so, this is how it is,” Again he pauses, scooting forward ever so slightly so he’s mere inches from your face.

“I love you, Plum.”

And you really can’t help yourself when you push forward to press your lips against his, you’ve waited too long to hear him say those words and you absolutely cannot bring yourself to care if you seem over-eager. Bucky doesn’t seem to mind, though, because he immediately starts kissing back, moving his hand from your face to run it over your arm, then moving it to lay on your waist above the blanket.

You bring one of your hands up to Bucky’s hair, threading your fingers through his strands and tugging at them, causing Bucky to moan softly. In one swift motion, Bucky flings the covers off of your bodies then turns you on your back so he can hover over you. He pulls back after a moment, simply staring down at you with such intensity that you can’t help but squirm impatiently beneath him.

“Bucky…” You whine, wrapping one arm around his neck and your other hand reaching down to sneak up his shirt to rub at his side. “I - Please, Buck.”

“Don’t worry, Plum. I’ve got you, I promise.” Bucky dives back down to capture your lips again, nipping at your bottom lip and then running his tongue through the seam of your lips to force it in your eager mouth.

Suddenly, one of his hands runs down your body, sneaking under the shirt that you’re wearing, and moaning when he finally touches your bare skin. Running that hand back up your body, he cups one of your breasts and kneads it softly, stopping every so often to pinch and rub at your nipple.

“Bucky!” You whine a little louder, though it’s still drowned out by his tongue roaming your mouth.

Bucky pulls back slightly, only to mumble “Can I take this off?” before placing another bruising kiss on your lips. And with your enthusiastic nod, he, regretfully, pulls back and rises to his knees so he can stare down at you.

After a long moment, you begin squirming again, reaching up to grasp at his shirt and tug at it impatiently.

“Buck, come on!” And maybe you should be embarrassed by how borderline pathetic you sound, but with the way his eyes darken, you can’t find it in yourself to care.

“Sorry, Plum, I just - you look so fucking good in my clothes.” He bites his bottom lip, resting his hands on your bare waist from where the shirt was pushed up.

“I bet I’ll look even better out of them.”

Bucky chuckles, then finally gets going as he helps you lift up slightly so he can take off the shirt. And then he pauses again, sighing and cursing softly under his breath.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful. And all mine, right?”

“Yes! All yours!” You can’t help but nod wildly, wiggling underneath Bucky and gasping when you feel the very big and very hard bulge in his pants.

“Good,” He mutters, leaning down to kiss you once more. “You’re so fucking good for me, Plum.”

Your hips buck up involuntarily, your legs twitching as you let his words wash over you, sending shocks down your body. Dear God, you’ve been waiting for this forever, you’ve dreamt about what Bucky would be like in bed, what he would say to you, and it’s already surpassed anything you’ve ever fantasized about.

Bucky pulls away once again so he can quickly whip off his shirt, now allowing you free reign to look in awe at how utterly perfect he is. Except, suddenly Bucky’s gone shy. And for a moment you’re confused, why is he suddenly stopping?

Then you realize, he’s never been shirtless around you. As far as you know, he hasn’t been shirtless in front of anyone. And with the way his gaze tilts toward his shoulder, you know he’s become self-conscious.

“Buck…” You whisper, scooting back and sitting up so you’re at eye level with his chest. Carefully and slowly, you reach out to place one of your hands on his shoulder, running a finger over the worst of the scars.

“We can… um.” He stutters, face going red. “I know it doesn’t look good. I can put my shirt on if you want?”

Sighing, you keep eye contact as best you can as you lean forward to place several delicate kisses over the scars.

“I’m not bothered by them Bucky. You’ve been through so much, I know that. You know that I know that. I love you, every part of you. And whether you like it or not, these scars are a part of you. They don’t change any of my feelings towards you.” You pause, placing one more kiss before leaning back and bringing your hands up to cup his face.

“You can put it back on if you want, but I’d prefer to really see you. I’ve been waiting for this for too long, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to see you like this. How much I’ve wanted to kiss you all over, to care for you just like you deserve.”

A sniffle sounds through the air, and the tears in Bucky’s eyes are prominent as one slides down his cheek.

“Can I?”

Immediately, Bucky nods, letting you push him onto his back so you can climb over him and straddle his waist, sitting directly over his clothed crotch. You gaze down at him with as much love in your eyes as you can muster, guiding his hands to settle on your hips so he can guide them to rub and roll over his hard-on.

“I love you, Buck.”

Another tear slides down his cheek, and he nods as he echoes your words. Placing your hands on his chest, you roll your hips a little harder, running your hands over his stomach up to his chest, then back down.

“Can I… I want-” He says, a frustrated look on his face as though he doesn’t know what he’s trying to say.

“What do you want, baby?” His hips buck up, a small groan leaving his lips.

“Want you to ride my face. Please, Plum, I need it.”

Now it’s your turn to moan, and you nod your head as you get off of his body, pulling down your underwear to throw them off to the side. Then you shuffle so you can swing your leg over his head, hovering over him ever so slightly as you wait for him to start. But he doesn’t. He simply huffs frustratedly before gripping your thighs and pulling you down so you’re sitting on his face properly.

And that’s when he gets going, placing kisses wherever he can before licking a long stripe from your hole up to your clit, then wrapping his lips around the bud and sucking it into his mouth.

“Ah! Oh, oh, Bucky! Baby!” You can’t help but whine, mindful of the fact that there are other people in the house.

Bucky groans, deep in his chest that travels up to your pussy, causing you to whine again. You can’t help but roll your hips over his face, eyes going wide and mouth dropping open when Bucky brings up two cold metal fingers to trace them around your hole. As he nips at your clit he pushes both fingers into your hole, and you have to bite down hard on your lip to prevent from screaming in pleasure.

Your hips roll faster, bouncing slightly with every harsh thrust of his fingers. And tears start forming in your eyes as your stomach starts tightening, forcing your legs to tighten around his head, which he doesn’t seem to mind at all.

In fact, you notice Bucky’s hips thrust up into the air once more, and you turn as much as you can to see a wet patch forming on the front of his sweatpants. Then, an idea pops into your head.

“Buck, stop.”

Quickly, Bucky releases his tight hold on your hips and lets you sit up. And he’s in the middle of asking what’s wrong when you turn over so you’re facing his crotch. With a smirk, you settle back down on his face while you pull down his sweatpants to let his cock spring out.

Bucky gasps into your pussy, then moans louder when you grasp his cock - the tip an angry red and pulsing in need. Lowering your body, you press yourself against his and take the tip of his cock in your mouth, suckling softly and swirling your tongue around the tip. You give Bucky a minute to get used to the pleasure before rolling your hips back down over his face which causes him to get with the program. Bucky starts to eat you out again, licking at your pussy, shoving his tongue as deep into your hole as it can get.

And it goes on for what feels like forever while also not long enough before you feel your core tighten again, and you roll your hips more frantically as you take Bucky’s cock down your throat so it hits the back of it. Bucky shouts, the sound gets drowned out by your pussy and the sounds of your slurping.

It’s not the best head you’ve ever given, but Bucky can’t seem to tell with the way one of his hands stays planted on your thigh while the other goes down to your head to guide you up and down his cock. And when Bucky sucks your clit back into his mouth, his teeth nipping at it, you explode, moaning as best you can as your orgasm washes through your body. The moans travel down Bucky’s cock, and without warning his cock pulses before coming.

Bucky forces your hips to continue rolling over his face to prolong his and your orgasms. And it takes a few moments for it to subside and you’re finally too sensitive to continue. But, eventually, you’re able to roll off of Bucky’s body and turn so you can flop down next to him, both of you breathing heavily.

It takes another minute to calm your racing heart, and when you turn to face him, you see him already looking at you.

“Hey,” You whisper, smiling widely.

“Hey,” He whispers back, smiling too. Then, he moves forward to place a kiss on your forehead before trailing more kisses down to your lips, where he places a chaste kiss against your lips before pulling back to stare into your eyes.

“I love you, Plum,” He says, sighing happily.

“I love you too, Buck.”

Then, Bucky shuffles down, covering your body with his and placing his head over your chest. You wrap your arms around him, holding him tightly and placing kisses on the top of his head.

“Goodnight, Buck.”

And you feel Bucky smile as he says, ��Goodnight, Plum.”

#let me know what yall think!! #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic rec #james barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barns #bucky barns imagine #bucky barns fanfiction #my writing

[onlyjaeyun]

anon who said she’d read chapter 3 after the enha concert here!!! once again, the chapter was so good!! i was actually impatient and read it before i started getting ready to go to the concert 😭 yn’s gc with giselle and karina had me deadddd. ALSO jay would talk you through it omggggg 😵‍💫😵‍💫

as for the concert it was AMAZING!!! other than having to rush a little bit to get ready, it was the first concert i’ve been too where everything went smoothly for me. we made it early, got inside super fast as soon as doors opened, got merch fast, and we were able to use the restrooms and eat properly in no rush before the show. even getting home was quick and easy (getting home from nct 127 was an actual mess for me so i have a little bit of trauma) 😭 anyways i think the universe anticipated how much i wanted this so it made sure everything went well.

as for the acc concert, I LUV ENHA SO MUCH ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 our view was right in the middle so we were able to focus on the actual stage too rather than just the big screens and jfc they’re so in sync it amazed me. like even other groups are in sync too but enha’s choreo is so hard and the setlist was so physically demanding it was crazy to me that they’re able to make it seem so easy. THEY WERE SO STABLE TOOOO. enha best performers of 4th gen me thinks!! they’ve really proved their talent since they’ve debuted and i’m so proud!!! sunghoon mentioned some of the members were feeling a little sick cause of all the weather changes 🥺🥺🥺 yet they were all so happy and energetic and cute during their ments 🫶🏽🫶🏽 the production value was also crazy, the coffin shaped screens and stage was so creative tbh even if it’s one little detail. lighting and all went crazy too and made things so fun. you can tell money was put into the tour. i may be biased towards them but definitely my favorite kpop concert so far for sure!! just love enha sm 🥰🥰🥰 i only feel the same way for like two other groups, i’m selective af

as for the members omg HYUNG LINE HAD ME DEADDDD, they’re so fine. as a jay girly i already was screeching everytime he showed up. he just has this attractive aura surrounding him 24/7, oooooh i want him so bad 😫😫 BUT JAKE AND HEESEUNG OOOOOOH. jake was my og enha bias and has been my second bias since jongseong took the number one spot, but i think he’s fighting for number 1 again he’s just sooooo fine i was ready to get on my knees for him. everyone was down bad for him oof. heeseung is so sexy when performing jfc his expressions and energy 😍😍. sunghoon’s face card was crazy and he’d just show up on camera and id just be like how are you able to look like that. i almost passed out during that one move in sacrifice where he runs his hand down his body. jungwon is so cute, i’ve always seen him as my son even tho he’s like only a year younger than me 💀 but he was so cute during the ments especially when speaking english 🥹 sunoo is such a pretty man i cannot believe he’s real. ni-ki’s stage presence is so crazy. a true performer. he got so many cheers during the performances, but he deserves it. that’s my son fr and he deserves the world!!! overall they’re amazing performers, every member really shined through at some point and i’m so grateful i got to see them. i’m actually so close to buying a nosebleed ticket for their second show tn and going to just take in the moment without recording or worrying about what i’m wearing and all. i really hope they go to europe soon so you can see them!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽❤️‍🔥

another thing i kinda wanna rant about. it’s so annoying that kpop concerts have become about interactions and videos. ik that people already say this on twitter so much but it’s so true!!! everyone on the floor was just recording the whole time. i get it to some extent because enha is soooo close to you and i’m v grateful for those super close up videos at every concert. but even enha said they love it when fans dance along. even tho i recorded most of the concert i kept my phone lower and made sure i was also taking in the concert from my own eyes and dancing alone (basically multitasking lmao). even enha was like we love seeing the fans dancing and having fun, but poor boys cannot see that on the floor (which probably are the only fans they can see clearly with all the lights on them). and when pola love came on and they went down into the crowd you’d just see crowds of people running towards each side of the barricades it was crazy to see from the seated sections fr, i was like uhm 😀😀😀 even girls from the seated sections ran down towards the seated section barricade to see them just a little bit closer, i was like girl….🙄🙄 even on twitter people talk about how it’s always the same ppl at send off and they never move for other people to even just greet enha. when i went to ateez in early 2022 they didn’t have an extended stage and tbh at this time the only fanservice done was during encore. the energy was so much diff and everyone was genuinely having so much fun. i guess it leads to more funny moments and feeds the delusion a little with kpop idols being more interactive with fans now but sometimes it seems as if ppl aren’t there for the actual concert aspect but to get their little moment with the idols. still the energy was amazing during a lot of the songs and i’m still so happy ☺️☺️☺️

sorry for the super long ask, i just had to tell someone and you asked for a concert review so…

love you ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 can i be 🐥 anon if you don’t have one??

AAAHVDKWNFOENFLE THIS SOUNDS PERFECT BABY!!!!! im honestly so happy and relieved to hear that you had such a great experience, i really hope you get to experience it again asap!!!! you truly deserved that and im pretty sure the boys had just as good of a time as you did 🥺🥺🤍 (and yes (about the anon part) absolutely baby!)

#; mailbox 📬

[troubatrain]

want you to want me - m. tkachuk

a/n: i’m awful at intros but this fic is my whole ass child. i started it months ago and i picked it up back and then i just couldn’t stop writing. now we’re at a whopping 10k words and i’m really happy with the way this one came out. i hope you guys like it as much as i loved writing it.

big thanks to @hookingminor @igor-shestyorkin & @tkafuckit for reading this as i wrote it and gassing me up ily all sm

warnings: smut

You were Matthew’s dream girl, and you didn’t have a fucking clue. You were leaning against the cold metal bleachers of your former high school, chatting with whatever teacher probably wanted to hear all about that shiny NWSL contract you signed right out of college with the Chicago Red Stars. It was well deserved, a few national titles in college put you in the position in the first place, and Matthew respected the hell out of you. You wouldn’t know, by the way he never seems like he actually wants to speak to you and the few snide remarks about your sport in general. That started forever ago, when Matthew royally fucked up any chance he had with you later in life because he was a competitive asshole.

It started when you were twelve, and middle school was nothing short of a mess. Matthew was growing into his own, adding a near foot to his height over one summer while his father and coaches doted on the fact that he was getting bigger. Getting bigger meant getting better, and for a few years winning was the most important thing in the world. But, becoming a hormonal preteen came with something else, feelings about the girl who sat three rows behind him in almost all of his classes.

Then third period gym class came around, and Matthew was a competitive monster. The kind of kid who took that way too seriously, and you accidentally became public enemy number one. You were the only person in his class who could even come close to beating him at anything, because you were just as much of an athlete as he was. Soccer had become your craft, and much like Matthew, you declared you’d go pro one day. So, Matthew did what any other insecure twelve year old boy would, he teased you relentlessly. It was awful, but by the time Matthew had gone off to play for the National team you had forgotten about his bullshit.

Apparently, you’d done something in a past life to warrant dealing with Matthew for longer than you ever anticipated. Jamie was your little sister, and Taryn’s best friend. Best friend was probably understatement, the pair were inseparable on and off the field. They trained together, they played on the same teams and that meant way too much time with the rest of the Tkachuk’s. You learned quickly, that the rest of their family was wonderful and Matthew seemed to be too thick headed to fall in line.

You tolerated Matthew, brushing his silly remarks off just like you did when you were younger. The thing was, Matthew didn’t want you to just tolerate him, but he didn’t know how to get you to stop hating him. You make your way over to Matthew who’d been standing next to his brother since the start of your sister’s game.

“Hi Brady,” You greet, tapping Brady on the shoulder who pulled you into a bone crushing hug. That annoyed Matthew the most, the way you seemed to love his siblings and despise him. In your defense, nobody was more supportive of your professional career than Brady, who’d made a promise to catch a game the second he could, “Hi Matthew.”

You were waiting for something from Matthew, an acknowledgement for finally achieving a dream of yours. You’d gotten the congratulations from the rest of his family, a massive celebration because Keith thought you deserved it. Matthew probably didn’t think you did. You could practically hear his smug little voice about how much his recently inked contract was compared to yours, because you’d heard it since you were kids. He used to rip on your athletic abilities every chance he could, something about how it didn’t matter how hard you could kick a ball you couldn’t hold a hockey stick so he was just better.

“You’re here!” You hear the chipper voice of your little sister approach, Jamie’s sweaty postgame arms wrapped around your waist. You’d been in Chicago, signing some paperwork and looking into finding a place to stay when you had to go for camp. You promised you’d make it back in time, and your flight landed less than five hours ago but you made it.

Matthew bit the inside of his cheek to keep his smile to himself, watching his own sister push past him to see you. Taryn loved you, because sometimes she just needed a big sister and her brothers were in another country most

of the time. It was the part that killed him the most, seeing you with his family. You fit right in, a fierce athlete with drive that rivaled his own. Brady side-eyed his own brother, watching him instead of the scene unfolding in front of him. He was frustrated with his own brother for not just telling you the truth, that he teased you because he was an idiot who didn’t know how to handle having a crush on you.

But Brady was going to do it himself if his brother didn’t.

***

Matt, you don’t have a girlfriend right?

Matthew knew damn well he should not have answered his sister’s question, but when he realized her best friend had been sitting right next to her in the kitchen, his curiosity got the best of him. So he did, telling his sister he was single and sparing her details of any of the girls he’d gone on dates with the past year. That was his life is Calgary, a constant revolving door so no one would see what was underneath layers of sarcasm and angst. But every summer, he’d come home and wonder when he’d start to build a life for himself, and if he’d ever find that person to do it with. That was when his brain would start to wander, fantasies of a future that always seemed to involve you. He loved to imagine it, the years that you’d both spend supporting the other’s dream. Matthew would do anything to make sure you achieved yours, and he thought you’d do the same. Then you’d both settle down, the big house with the white picket fence and a shiny ring on your finger Matthew put there himself and years of arguing about what sport your future children would play - he’d even consider letting you have just one.

Unfortunately, none of that could be real until he figured out how to get you to hate him less. Taryn apparently had the same idea, and had been scheming with your sister for months. The two girls were looking at Matthew with devilish grins on their faces, like whatever they came up with would totally work.

“Y/N doesn’t have a boyfriend,” Your sister hums, sipping the smoothie they forced Matthew to drive them to go get, “It’s sad actually-”

“We think you should date,” Taryn explains, Matthew’s eyes went wide. His sister didn’t know the whole story, or just how far back this stupid fued went. Taryn always loved you, so Matthew just kept his remarks to himself.

“I know you know Y/N doesn’t like me very much,” Matthew explains, “So tell me how that’s going to work.”

“Apologize to her, if she can forgive me for anything she’ll forgive you,” Jamie sighs, thinking of all the times you’d shown her mercy when she didn’t deserve it.

“You’ve got to be sorry,” Brady interrupts, mouth full of food while he goes to go look for more in the fridge. He turns around, Matthew’s eyes giving him daggers, “What? You were a dick to her for years, you’ve got to fix that first.”

It didn’t take much convincing after that, Taryn had already planned out what Matthew should say to you. Matthew wasn’t going to repeat those words, because he knew exactly what he’d say to you if he ever got the chance. He was trying to fix his past, because the way he acted towards you was the one thing he regrets. 

So with the help of your little sister and the Find my Friends app, Matthew was pulling up to a soccer field he’d been to plenty of times. He used to run through the park nearby, catching a glimpse of your practices when you were in high school and Matthew was an afterthought. He hops out of his car, smiling when he could see you running drills alone. You were dribbling the ball, counting to yourself while you were weaving through cones you set up.

“I’ve never been good at those,” Matthew calls out, walking over to you while you stopped and caught your breath, “I kick the cones with my skate every single time.”

“Maybe you’re not as good as you think you are,” You tease, grabbing your water and guzzling it down, “What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, I came to apologize?” Matthew admits, knowing his face was probably bright red. He was nervous, the good kind like he got before a big game, “I was just an insecure kid then, and you didn’t deserve what I did just because I was afraid you’d beat in something.”

Matthew left out the part where he felt like he was still that kid all the time. All of those insecurities about himself seemed to be picked up by every reporter in Canada when he was there. You bit your lip, pretending like you were trying to debate whether or not you should forgive Matthew at all. In reality, you would have forgiven him ages ago if he’d just apologized sooner. It was so long ago, and sometimes you thought Matthew’s constant taunting made you better. He was pleading, baby blue eyes staring at you sadly while he waited for your answer. He looked like he didn’t think he deserved to be forgiven, shoulders slumped while he tried to read your body language. It was something you noticed about Matthew forever ago, he could have everything in the world but when he looked at you he seemed almost sad.

“I mean I could forgive you, but only if you beat me,” You cross your arms, raising an eyebrow at Matthew, “If I win, I don’t have to and if you win all is forgiven.”

“Really? Isn’t that why we were in this situation to begin with?” Matthew points out, crossing his arms at you.

“I thought you weren’t that kid anymore,” You remind of his own words, testing him to see if he’d put his money where his mouth was. Matthew smirks, chuckling to himself, “C’mon Tkachuk let’s see what you got.”

Matthew shook his head, laughing and lining up next to you. You both counted to three, sprinting down the field at full force. Matthew knew his height was the only thing working to his advantage while he tried to keep up with you. You were nearing your finish line, and Matthew didn’t think he was going to win. You were going to forgive him regardless, but Matthew didn’t know that. His arms stretched out, grabbing your waist and pulling you into his chest. Matthew turned his body around, stepping over the line before you did.

“God, you’re such a fucking cheater Matthew,” You hit his chest, Matthew’s hands still firmly placed on your hips.

“I didn’t want to lose,” Matthew admits, all of his smug attitude diminishing immediately, “Just want you to forgive me.”

“I’ll forgive you if you never pull that shit on me again,” You poke his chest, slipping out of his grip and running to your stuff before he could notice how nervous he was making you. 

No. Absolutely not. You told yourself while you checked your phone, rolling your eyes at the warning text from Jamie that Matthew was on his way, you couldn’t have anything but indifference to Matthew Tkachuk. It got harder everytime you saw him, the past few years had been nothing short of kind to him, he was growing from a dumb immature boy to a man more and more every summer. You turn around, peeking at Matthew who was sitting down and catching his breath, a winning smile on his face, the same kind he had the very first time he schooled everyone at floor hockey in middle school.

Maybe you could be friends.

***

Matthew liked having you as a friend, mostly because as of right now that was all he was going to get. You definitely didn’t trust him, which was valid considering Matthew had been a dick to you for years, but he was working on it. He had to, that uncontrollable feeling that he cared about you was getting harder to shove back down with every year that passed.

“You’re friends now, you don’t need to stare at her like a creep anymore,” Brady scoffs, watching his brother gawk at you from afar. Matthew couldn’t help it, you just had a glow about you, you always did, but somehow in the summer you were golden. Tonight you looked even better, maybe it’s because you smiled at him when he walked instead of scowling like you usually did.

“He’s in love with you,” Steph giggles, sipping her drink and giving Matthew a side eye, “He’s been staring at you all night.”

“He apologized to me,” You confess, holding in that little secret about Matthew’s visit to the field even from your best friend. You had the same friends, the same group of people who’d been pushing the two of you to work it out for years. It wasn’t that you didn’t want them to know that they no longer had to worry about one of you blowing up because the other was there, you just wanted everyone to let it go too. Matthew deserved a little forgiveness, you could only imagine the pressure he felt on himself back then, and while he didn’t totally deserve your protection - you were going to give it to him, “Don’t-”

“Oh wonder why, I know it’s because he looooves you,” Steph teases, “Did you forgive him?”

“Yeah I mean we’re both older and I’d like to think he’s wiser, and besides our parents are way too close,” You knew this was going to be your excuse for a while. It was better for everyone that you forgave him, Jamie and Taryn spent more time together than you’d spend with anyone and you're just as close with the rest of their family. It wasn’t untrue that it was in fact for the best, but that didn’t mean Matthew’s stupid dimples didn’t persuade you before you could think about anyone else, “Can we stop talking about this?”

Matthew’s eyes didn’t leave you once that night, especially after the way Steph downed tequila shots and convinced you to join her. You deserved to celebrate, you’d accomplished something Matthew knew was your biggest dream because it was the same as his. He was proud of you, not that he’d gotten a chance to show it.

“If you’re going to go pro Y/N, you’ve got to start keeping up,” Brady chirps, watching you stumble over your own feet to walk over to him and Matthew. Matthew had seen this once before, a level of drunkenness where you turned into bambi but that was so long ago he never thought he’d see it again.

“I’ll go pro in beating your ass Brady,” You snap back, shooting daggers over Brady who was already cracking up, “Hi Matthew.”

“Hi,” Matthew’s voice was small, a weird sound considering he was usually the loudest in the room. Brady scoffs, walking away from the two of you before he snaps at how hopelessly in love his brother was. You turn your head in confusion, your mind far too hazy to realize why Brady was so annoyed in the first place, causing Matthew to chuckle, “Want to play? Might be best if we’re on the same team.”

Matthew’s thumb shot over to the beer pong set up on the other side of the room, a mischievous smirk on face, “I mean if it’s for the best.”

Matthew’s arm wrapped around your shoulders holding you close to his chest while you both played pong was definitely not for the best, and it wasn’t helping that stupid crush you had on him. You could feel Steph’s stare from the corner of the room, and you look at her to mouth a don’t at her. It was nice having Matthew on your team, finally a moment where instead of arguing with each other about who’s elbow was clearly over the table - you got to do the same thing to Brady.

“Brady you’re cheating,” You call out, Matthew’s head thrown back in laughter at your seriousness.

“You heard her Brady, elbows over the table,” Matthew breathes out, his body still rumbling with laughter at his little brother’s expense.

“Oh look at you two, you’re just gonna raise some winners one day aren’t you?” Brady chirps back, both happy to see you getting along and annoyed once he realizes that means he was going to get roasted by both of you now. You felt heat rush to your cheeks, tucking your face into Matthew’s arm in hopes no one saw the way you shrunk at that stupid joke.

“We’re winners right now,” Matthew calls out, his last ball landing in the cup and sealing the game for the two of you. Matthew would raise winners with you, it was something he thought about from time to time, but those thoughts were never going to see the light of day, “Alright drunky I think it’s time to get you home.”

“You can stay, I’ll just catch a ride with someone,” You waive Matthew off, who shook his head no at you before you even started speaking.

“One, my dad would kick my ass if he knew I left you,” Matthew starts with, holding up one finger with another on the way, “Two, we’re friends now and I’d like to make sure you don’t die before you see a pro game.”

Matthew had seen you this drunk before, but what he didn’t know was that getting you home would be more difficult than he thought. You started in the direction of your house, but apparently you were a runner and a speedy one at that. Now you were barely two blocks away from Matthew’s parents place and if he could at least get you there he’d be able to call it a night - which wasn’t fucking easy.

“Alright I’ve had enough,” Matthew huffs, jogging to catch up with you and scooping you into his arms. You were hanging over his shoulder, Matthew making his way down the street with the house in his sightline. You could have cared less, laughing your ass off while Matthew walked up the stairs and finally placed you back down on your feet, “Be quiet, go up to my room and get some clothes and go sleep in the guest room.”

You weren’t quiet, not at all and Matthew was amazed not one of his parents came down to see what all the chaos was about. After Matthew had to walk you up the stairs, running back down for some water and hoping you weren’t a disaster by the time he got back - he found you in his bed. You were curled up right in the middle, an old London Knights shirt on your body, Matthew’s favorite. Matthew grabs his comforter, throwing it over your body. He sighs, leaning against his door frame and smiling to himself at how comfortable you looked, flicking off the light and retreating to the guest room.

Matthew hated the guest room. He hated how hard the mattress was and after a few hours of no sleep and tossing and turning - he gave up. Matthew hoped no one else was up, but not to his surprise his mother was already in the kitchen, and judging by the look on her face, she knew who was upstairs.

“Care to explain?” Chantal smirks, raising her eyebrows at her son. Matthew’s face got red, his landing on the back of his neck to cover the blush.

“She fell asleep before I could even get her to the guest room,” Matthew shrugs, hoping his mom wouldn’t push it any further, “I, uh, apologized the other day.”

“Good,” Chantal hums, a knowing look on her face. She didn’t like to push Matthew, her one kid who seemed to be a little rougher around the edges than the others, but that silly feud never sat right with her, “Here, bring her a coffee, I’m sure she needs it.”

Matthew nods, grabbing the mug his mother was holding out and starting to make his way up the stairs. He heard the tell her you made it from his mother and shook his head. He knew what she was thinking, especially with the way Chantal seemed to talk about you. His mother thought you were nothing short of perfect, and Matthew would be a liar if he didn’t think the same thing.

“Did I fall asleep here?” You’d woken up confused, your question only answered by the jerseys hanging on the walls, you were in Matthew’s room. You rub your eyes, the door creaking open way too loudly for how dead you felt.

“Only after you almost fell down the stairs and ran three blocks in the wrong direction,” Matthew chuckles, sitting on the edge of the bed and handing you the mug, “You know you’re fast right?”

“Yeah,” You muse, smirking to yourself and taking a sip of coffee, “I’m sorry I did that to you, and stole your bed - I can go.”

Matthew stopped you, telling to finish your coffee and relax and he’d drive you home after. You fell into a comfortable conversation, something Matthew never thought would happen.

And watching you walk up to your steps in his shirt still wasn’t something he thought he’d see, but it was better than he imagined.

***

“Hey it’s Jamie, can’t get to the phone right now…”

You groan, tossing your phone onto your bed and continuing your pace around the room. It was well after midnight, and your sister had been out all night, and past her curfew. Usually you’d cover for her, definitely taking the prize home for the cool older sister who picks her siblings and their friends up from parties. That’s what had you so worried. Sure, Jamie was a teenager and she snuck in a few little white lies with your parents just like you’d done, but Jamie always told you the truth. She’d check in with you more than her parents, letting you know that she’s going to be out late but she’s safe and if she needed anything she knew who to call. You texted sometime around ten, just checking in since it was Saturday and you were sure she had a more riveting social life than yourself. No answer. Then eleven rolled around and you didn’t hear anything, so naturally you double texted and now it’s twelve thirty and you still haven’t heard anything. You cross your arms, looking at your phone as if you could will an answer into existence. You grab it, dialing a number you weren’t even sure would work.

“Hello?” Matthew’s voice appeared on the other side of the line, clear confusion in his voice. You let out a sigh of relief, hoping Matthew would have the answer you wanted to hear so desperately.

“Is my sister at your house?” You ask, biting your lip and throwing on a pair of sweats so you could pick her up and murder her for scaring you like that. You were sure it was innocent, Jamie slept over at Taryn’s all the time, staying up way too late watching movies or when Jamie would hide going to a party from your much stricter parents.

Matthew tells you to give him a minute, and you can hear him walking through the house. By the time you heard a door open and a small fuck under his breath, your stomach dropped, “She was supposed to be home by midnight.”

“Alright, thanks anyways,” You sigh, “Do you know where they might have gone? It’s just, Jamie hasn’t answered me in hours and she usually does even if she’s out past curfew and I’m just-”

“I’ll be at your house in ten,” Matthew says, his keys alright in his hand and his foot halfway out the door. He was more mad than worried, sure his sister was out a party past curfew. Matthew was her biggest brother, and he was far more protective over her than Brady ever could be. He hated when she did this, and Matthew was pissed. You waited on your steps, Matthew car coming into view while you sprung up and practically sprinted into his car.

“You look mad,” You observe, as if it wasn’t completely obvious. You knew why, trying countless times to remind Taryn that her brother loves her and that’s why he’s like that. You thought he could go a little easier on her, but you wouldn’t dare get in the middle of that.

“I am mad,” Matthew grits out, knuckles white on his steering wheel while he drives slowly down the street. You just drove, in hopes you’d find what was obviously a house party and hopes your sisters were inside. You squint, hoping your eyes weren’t fooling you.

“Wait, pull over I think I see my neighbor,” You yell, Matthew’s foot flying on the break and you hop out. You were right, the bright orange tuft of hair you saw was like a miracle, “Hey Henry have you seen my sister?”

“Oh yeah I think she’s still inside,” Henry points to the house behind him, music blasting and a party in full swing, “I think she’s with Taryn.”

Matthew hops out of the car, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the house with him. Matthew’s fingers were laced with yours with every step he took, weaving through the crowd in hopes you’d see them. It took three bedrooms and a laundry room until you finally saw Taryn standing in the doorway. Her eyes went wide, and you pushed past them both to see Jamie with her head in the toilet. She was fine, well she was definitely in deep shit, but it wasn’t the worst thing to stumble upon. You throw her hair up, your attention moving to Matthew yelling at his sister in the hallway.

“Why didn’t you call someone,” Matthew yells, trying so damn hard to not completely snap on his baby sister. Taryn yells that her phone had died and then Jamie got sick and she didn’t know what to do. Of course they didn’t. You were probably more sympathetic, and you knew just how pissed off Matthew could get. You get up, pushing Taryn back into the bathroom and telling her to watch your sister.

“Calm down before you talk to her, please,” You plead, grabbing Matthew’s shoulders, “Besides, I sort of need some help right now.”

There it was. The very moment Matthew realized all along you could’ve been helping him. Your hands were wrapped around his biceps, a finger gently rubbing the skin right under the sleeve of his shirt. Every bit of anger disappeared from his body, a calm feeling replacing it. He knew you were right, and he’d be thankful for it later. Matthew knew he had to do the right thing by you, and he nodded, willing to follow any directions you gave him.

Matthew carried Jamie out of the house, getting both of your sisters in the car and finally heading back to your house. You knew he was still pissed off, a present frown on his face so you just took the chance. Just like he’d done before for you, you grabbed one of his hands from his steering wheel, lacing your fingers together. You caught the smile on his face, your thumb rubbing over his hand while his shoulders seemed to just relax. Once

Matthew finally helped you get Jamie inside, a night of laying on her floor to make sure she was okay ahead of you stood in the doorway with Matthew across from you.

“Thank you, I know we’re working on this friendship thing but you really didn’t have to do that,” You were eternally grateful, wrapping your arms around Matthew’s waist and tucking your head into his chest.

“You’d do the same thing for Taryn,” Matthew hums, knowing full well he definitely owed you for being Taryn’s replacement sibling with him and Brady in Canada for most of the year, “Get some rest okay?”

“Wait,” You stop Matthew, grabbing his hand one more time, “Don’t kill your sister, please she’s just a kid-”

“You’re way too easy on them,” Matthew chuckles, shaking his head at you. He knew Taryn was probably scared, and after he calmed a bit he understood where you were coming from. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to tell her that if she ever pulls that shit again - he was going to rat her out to their parents.

And when Matthew finally got back in the car, he could see his sister’s grin in the backseat, “Don’t say it.”

She held your hand, are you sure you’re not going to malfunction now?

***

Maybe you were spiraling.

You’d been waiting for this moment your entire life, now you had a few more weeks until camp started and you were afraid. You knew you were good enough, you had to be. But what if you weren’t? You could feel the anxiety settling in, a feeling you hadn’t felt since Matthew told you soccer wasn’t a real sport in fourth grace. It’d been eating at you for weeks, deteriorating any confidence you had left in yourself. So you started pushing yourself even harder. The harder you worked the less like you were to fuck it all up. Your muscles were sore, your body was tired and it was just all becoming too much.

And Matthew noticed.

You were pushing yourself too hard, even the time you were supposed to relax with your families before your seasons started was being spent training. He understood it, the term first round exit lived rent free in his head every single time his skate hit the ice over the summer, but that didn’t make it okay. You looked tired, sluggish while you moved because you were running twice a day and training in between. And he was pissed everyone seemed to be fine with it. You should start working harder then Matthew. If it bothers you so much maybe you could join her. It wasn’t that he was jealous of your work ethic, he was worried. Matthew’s eyes followed you as you ran past his house again. The third time in one day, he’d finally decided he had enough.

Matthew took the walk to your house, charming the pants off your mother for her to tell him you were upstairs because you just got back in. He knocks twice, hearing a come in from the other side.

“What are you doing here?” You question, rolling one of your ankles that just seemed to be getting more swollen every time you started to practice. Matthew noticed it, your hands freezing one you caught his gaze.

“You’re overworking yourself,” Matthew stands his ground, he knew you could have told him to fuck off because no one hates advice they didn’t ask for quite like him, “Don’t tell me I’m wrong.”

“That’s rich coming from the kid who’s played with more broken bones than anyone I know,” You remind him of a few mistakes Matthew’s made playing through injuries he really shouldn’t, “I’m not fucking frail.”

“That’s not what this is about,” Matthew scoffs, it never once crossed his mind that he thought he was tough enough to play through injuries but you weren’t, “It’s about taking a break so you don’t get hurt.”

“I’m fine,” You huff, getting up and trying your best to hide the pain in your ankle when you stood on it. You fell forward, Matthew catching you in his arms and putting you back down the edge of your bed.

“Tell me what’s wrong?” Matthew asks with soft eyes, he bent down to take your ankle in his hand and inspect it the best he could. It was swelling, probably from the amount of pressure you’d been putting on your body with no breaks.

“What if I never score a goal?” You whisper, teary eyes finally meeting Matthew’s. His brows shot up, alarmed at how one of the best athletes he’s ever seen could feel the same way he felt right before his first NHL game. Matthew sits down next to you, hand on your thigh while you let out a cry, “What if I’m just a bust? Like I get there and nothing works and I suck.”

“You’ll score eventually,” Matthew scoffs, understanding how ridiculous you sounded but just how you felt at the same time, “Everyone does.”

“You scored like four games into your fucking career Matt,” You remind him, Matthew smiling a bit that you knew that to begin with. It would have been impossible not to know, or pretend like you didn’t keep a few tabs on his career. Matthew Tkachuk was a legend in the making, and whether or not you could feel butterflies in your stomach every time he dropped the gloves was a secret you’d take to the grave.

“I got suspended my first season too,” Matthew jokes, a teary eyed laugh escaping your lips, “I’d put down money you score in your first game.”

“Well good thing you have money to lose,” You sigh dramatically, the fear of fucking up still on your mind.

“You’ll find your groove, all legends do,” Matthew promises, throwing his arm around your shoulders. You snuggled into his side, a realization that he was becoming a comforting presence in your life with each passing day, “And if you don’t, you can always hide out in Canada with me.”

“Matty!” The same silly nickname Matthew introduced himself to you on your very first day of kindergarten slipped through your lips without realizing it. Matthew hadn’t been called that in ages, but it was welcome from you. You push his chest, “That’s not making me feel any better.”

“What if I told you the only reason I was so mean to you was because I was intimidated by how talented you were?” Matthew confesses, scratching your head with his fingers, “If I win a cup one day I think I owe you one.”

Matthew didn’t mention that in his wildest fantasies of raising that cup over his head, you were there. He’d owe you one and he hoped it was because you were there for him until he got there. Matthew saw it the same way every time, you’d tell him to go see his parents first but he’d fly right past them to get to you - the person who accidentally pushed him to be his best. He had plenty of daydreams about you winning too, remembering times you used to brag you’d go to the Olympics one day, and he hoped you were right. He wanted to see you succeed, more than anything, and he thought it would work.

“Legally you have to let me drink out of it,” You muse, shutting your eyes and letting yourself just rest against Matthew.

“It has to be Bud Light,” Matthew teases while watching you fake a gag. You grab his outstretched hand, letting him pull you up. His hands rested on the side of your face, eyes flickering to your lips for just a second. He wanted to kiss you, but he knew he had to wait. Wait for you to be ready. Wait for you to settle down. Or even just wait until he thought he had a real shot at forever.

Forever with you.

***

Matthew was kind of pissed off.

The press didn’t bother him, none of that mattered and at the end of the day Matthew was able to sleep at night knowing he was a good teammate and a decent person most of the time. This one got him though, some writer criticizing the A on his jersey, and how someone who plays like he does didn’t deserve a letter.

A letter he earned.

You could tell something was off, the way Matthew had been running alongside you was aggressive to say the least. He insisted he came with you, something about forcing you to take breaks. He was being your friend, even though your sisters seemed to disagree. Taryn’s words were replaying in your head, Matt doesn’t even care if I get hurt. That didn’t mean anything, those two had no idea what love was and Matthew caring about you a little bit didn’t mean he loved you. Besides, the way he was acting right now told a completely different story.

“Are you mad at me?” You finally slow down, sitting on a rock that was next to the hiking trail you were on.

“No?” Matthew stops dead in his tracks, his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach that he fucked this up too, “I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”

“No, tell me what’s wrong,” You push, crossing your arms and narrowing your eyes at Matthew. You could tell he was pressed about something, his neck covered in a red flush the same way it used to.

“Some stupid article about my letter, don’t worry about it,” Matthew grits, repeating his words again. His defense was up, even after you confessed to him that you were scared of not being enough.

“Get the fuck out of here with the tough guy act Matthew,” You challenge him, poking him right in the chest, “If we’re going to be friends you need to cut that shit out.”

“You really want to hear it?” Matthew barks back, fully yelling at you, “I’m tired of people thinking I don’t deserve things because I threw a few bad hits. Do you know how it feels to have everyone think you’re shitty? No you don’t, because you’re so fucking perfect that my own parents like you more than me.”

You stood there, silent while you tried to figure out how to tell him that simply wasn’t true. His entire body was shaking, the anger coursing through his veins like you’d seen many times before that. Matthew looked like he did the first time you hit a homerun in gym class, except this time it was because that same pressure never got released. You couldn’t come close to understanding the way he probably felt. You didn’t have the comparables in your own family, the constant reminders of Brady’s points tally compared to his, let alone the career his father had.

“Matty,” You whisper, grabbing his hand and running your fingers over the scars on his knuckles, “Why is this bothering you so much?”

You were sure this wasn’t the first time someone’s said he was a pest, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be the last. Matthew sighed, the better part of his brain screaming at him to stop before he lost you too.

“I’ve felt like this forever,” Matthew whispers, eyes fixated on your hand in his, “From the moment I started getting bigger, there’s just been this pressure to play a certain way and act a certain way. I was a fucking kid, and while all of my friends got to go wherever they wanted all I ever did was practice. Then I finally get to where I wanted and I’m still getting shit on.”

“Except no one thinks you don’t deserve to be where you are,” You whisper, quiet words as if you were going to startle him, “And I know it doesn’t make up for things people say, but the people who love you think you deserve it.”

Matthew nods, pulling you into his arms and holding you close. Your arms wrapped around his waist, his words mumbled against your forehead, “I needed that.”

“I know,” You nod, smiling wide up at him, “And we need to practice more because you’re too slow, soooo catch me if you can!”

You slipped out of his arms, running away with a giggle and a smile. Matthew stopped for a second, his Neanderthal brain checking out your ass while you jogged away and his more logical one trying to process what just happened.

But what mattered most was that whatever you did worked and that meant something to Matthew.

***

Just admit you think he’s hot.

You wanted to kill your sister for making this weekend harder than it had to be. You were doing a good job at just friends with Matthew until Jamie was curled up in your bed while you packed for a lake trip with your friends. She pushed it for hours, rambling on about Matthew is actually your type and Taryn swears he’d be a good boyfriend if someone just understood him. The problem was, you were starting to see her point. Matthew had a glow up a few years ago, like one summer he’d gotten home and you were infatuated with him. It used to annoy you, because he’d been such an ass to you that you hated how attractive he was. Then things changed, and now looking at him was just frustrating you. You were terrified about the way he made you feel, like everything would be okay with one look of those blue eyes and a smirk. You felt like he had your back, a vast change from how you used to feel and it was just getting hard to hide it anymore.

Especially when Matthew looked like he did right now. He was holding himself up on the dock, shoulders broad and glistening in the moonlight above you. All your friends were inside, moving their party away from the water as the night lingered on. You wanted to run your fingers through his wet curls, the temptation was almost too much.

“I’ll be in Chicago a few times you know,” Matthew hums, enjoying the time alone he was getting with you. Anytime without Brady teasing him about what the Tkachuk’s had been referring to as the hand holding incident. He didn’t want them to think he didn’t want you, because he did, but he just needed to move at his own pace.

“You want to come see me play?” You ask, leaning back on the palms of your hands. You were surprised by the kind of man Matthew had become, it was a completely different person that he used to be. He cared so much about his loved ones, and you were starting to feel like maybe you had a place there.

“Actually thinking you could come see me play,” Matthew teases, sarcasm dripping from his words. You lifted your foot up, kicking some of the water below you to splash him, but he’d caught your ankle before you could. He stopped for a moment, running a thumb over your skin, “This looks better.”

“Don’t make you admit you were right,” You whine, Matthew swiftly pulling you into the water with him. You yelp, the water way too cold for any normal person, “It’s freezing.”

“C’mere then,” Matthew grabs your waist, pulling your body against his. His hands were splayed across your back, heat radiating off of them. One of your hands was on his shoulder, your other on his chest. You could feel his heart beating quickly, his eyes locked on yours, “Middle school Matthew would be so jealous of me right now.”

“Why’s that?” You hum, running your fingers along Matthew to play connect the dots with the beauty marks on his skin.

“Because he had the biggest crush on you,” Matthew confesses, his grip on you a little tighter, as if he was afraid you’d slip right through his fingers again, “But he was too thick headed to do anything about it.”

“What about grown up Matthew?” You ask, biting your lip. Matthew was practically holding you both up in the water, pressed so close together you could hear the hitch in his breath at your question, “Is he too thick headed to do something too?”

You wrapped your legs around Matthew’s waist, pressing your lips to his and tugging on the curls at the base of his neck. He pushed you up against the dock, helping you back up and pulling himself up next to you. You grabbed the back of his neck, latching your lips back on his. His hand was on your back, fingers toying with the back of your bathing suit, “Think we can get upstairs without anyone noticing?”

Matthew was cool most of the time. He never faltered under the pressure from his career, most of the time, and he definitely didn’t fold when it came to a pretty girl. You had him in the palm of your hand, every part of his brain malfunctioning in response to your words. You bit your lip, wondering if you’d read this entire situation. Matthew rubs a thumb along your lip, “When are you going to realize I’d do whatever you asked me to?”

The two of you snuck up the stairs, giggles and stolen kisses left in your wake. You open the door, Matthew’s hands still toying your bathing suit top, “Just take it off already Matty.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice,” Matthew breathes, his lips pressed against your neck while the garment falls to the floor, “So fucking beautiful.”

You back hit the mattress, Matthew’s hands running up your body slowly. Slow wasn’t in Matthew’s vocabulary, but he was taking his time just in case he never got this opportunity again. His fingers hooked under your bathing suit bottoms, sliding the wet fabric down your legs. You looked so beautiful, spread out just for Matthew like he’d dreamed about numerous times. His lips moved down to your breasts, teeth grazing against your skin while his tongue swirled against your nipple. You let out a breathy moan, Matthew’s ego boosting from the sound. You plucked at his curls while his mouth moved down to where you were craving him most, a gentle kiss to your clit, “Matty, please.”

“I didn’t peg you for the type to beg,” Matthew hums, pressing feather light kisses around your core. He stopped, gripping your thighs and looking up at you, “You sure about this?”

“Yes, please,” You whine, pussy dripping from Matthew’s hot breath fanning over it. Matthew chuckles darkly, fingers digging into your thighs when he flicked his tongue over your clit. You moan, completely unbothered by the blaring music a floor below you. Matthew didn’t seem to be bothered either, his tongue teasing your entrance while his nose rubbed against your clit, living for the way you were whimpering above him, “Matty-”

“Close baby?” Matthew groans, slipping a finger inside of you and curling it. You back arched, his name falling through your lips was enough to answer his question. Your legs shook, pleasure washing over your body from Matthew and all of it just felt so right. Matthew’s lips were latched to your skin until he finally met your eyes again. He smiles softly, nudging his nose with yours while you caught your breath, “So good for me.”

“Should’ve known you were that good with your mouth with the way you run it,” You tease smiling against his lips.

“Not with you, not anymore,” Matthew promises, soft blue eyes looking into yours, he meant it. He didn’t know how else to make it clearer, he wanted you. You kissed him slowly, hands trailing down his abs and stopping where his shorts hit his waist. Matthew kicks off his swim trunks, cock springing free. You grab the back of his neck, pulling your lips to his and rolling over top of him and straddling his waist. It was criminal how good you looked on top of him, “Gonna ride me babe?”

You nod, lining his dick up your core and lowering yourself on top of him. You let out a whine, Matthew’s smug smile on full display once he realized it was because of how big he was, “We don’t have to if my dick’s too big.”

“Oh shut up,” You roll your hips, watching the way Matthew’s head fell back, smirking because he really thought he had control here. Matthew’s hands gripped your waist, moving your hips faster. His finger flicked over your clit, causing you to lunge forward on top of him. Matthew flipped you over, wrapping a leg around his waist so he could hit your g-spot. Your hands gripped his shoulders, nails leaving scratches Matthew was going to wear pride later. You were seeing stars, noises leaving your throat you’d never even heard yourself make, “Fuck, Matty, I’m gonna cum again.”

“Look at me,” Matthew grabs your chin, pressing his forehead against yours and watching while your eyes roll back with pleasure. Your pussy clenched around him, his own cum spilling into you from the sensation, a loud groan following. Matthew pressed a kiss to your forehead, his cock still buried inside of you, “I wasn’t bullshitting you, I mean every word Y/N.”

“Matthew,” You whisper, running a finger along his back, “The distance…”

You didn’t mention everything, the way that if this was real it meant it would end up ripping you both apart. You were set to live in a different city, Matthew all the way in another country. The way your dreams included a spot on the U.S. National team, and the idea that wanting to be with Matthew would hold you back was terrifying. The way his dreams probably meant staying in Calgary forever, a C on his jersey and a cup over his head. It wasn’t going to be easy, you weren’t ever going to be the doting girlfriend he probably needed. There would be years of travel schedules and games that overlapped, and a part of you thought that maybe Matthew wouldn’t be able to do it. You’d get a year in and he’d find someone who would be there more and finally you’d end it.

“We can make it work, baby I want you, I always have and I probably always will,” Matthew starts, baring his soul to another person for the first time in his goddamn life, “I want to support your dreams and have you be there for mine. I’m all in here, I don’t know how else to tell you.”

“Can I have some time?” You plead, holding onto Matthew’s shoulders because you knew he could leave and tell you to never speak to him again. Matthew sighs, understanding the way you were shitting yourself about starting your own professional career, remembering the way rookie Matthew would have died before he considered settling down that first year, “Please don’t leave me-”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Matthew promises, rolling over and letting your rest on his chest, “I’ll wait for you.”

You smile, snuggling closer to him. Matthew didn’t sleep a minute that night, running every single scenario that could possibly happen with the two of you. Matthew was sure it would work out, it had to, because if it didn’t he wasn’t sure he’d be able to recover.

So now all he could was wait.

***

You know this is creepy right?

Matthew stares at Sam, punching his teammate in the arm lightly and telling him to shut up. He had a night off in Chicago, and after four straight hours of staring at your contact in his phone, Matthew finally just bought the tickets. He’d been good at keeping his distance, you needed space and he respected you enough to try and give it to you. He wasn’t doing so hot, Matthew consuming more soccer games than hockey games at this point. It started with your first game, because how was he supposed to just pretend like it wasn’t happening? You scored too, and it took everything in his power not to call you to tell you that not only was he right, he was insanely proud of you.

And he’d been hearing it from everyone. Your sister thought it was bullshit, Taryn and Jamie almost had Matthew on a flight to Chicago ready to show up like a terrible Lifetime movie. Brady thought it was hilarious the way Matthew was simping like this for one girl. Now, his teammates were on him, wondering why on Earth their friend who historically ran through women faster than he did mouthguards could be this hung up on someone he had a crush on in middle school.

“What number is she?” Sam asks, sipping the beer he forced Matthew to buy after making him go along with this.

“Nineteen,” Matthew smiles, pointing down at you on the field. You looked so happy, warming up with one of your teammates and a bright smile on your face. It seemed like a good fit, your team and your new city, and it made Matthew’s heart grow four sizes.

“Did she choose your number?” Sam jokes and Matthew mumbles something under his breath, “What?”

“It was her number first,” Matthew admits, not wanting to ever confess to another soul that you crossed his mind when he kept that camp number. Sam howled next to him, leaning over his seat and cracking up at his teammate.

You looked out in the crowd about halfway through the game, rubbing your eyes to make sure you weren’t seeing things. That tuft of curls was hard to miss, not to mention you knew just how big Matthew was. He was far too into the game to realize you caught him, up in arms about a call against your team that was valid but he’d argue it wasn’t. You asked for space, and it was getting harder to stick to your guns. Especially when he was making it so clear that he wanted this.

And whether or not you went to his game the next night, was a secret you’d take to the grave.

***

You were so close you could have tasted it.

While the final seconds of your season came to a close, all you could do was hold your head in your hands and hope no one caught the tears. A semi-final loss was devastating, but a semi-final loss where there wasn’t anything you could have done differently was even worse. Every athlete had off nights, a point Keith pushed right before you left to start your season, and he was right. Unfortunately, that was this game. Your biggest fear had come true and there was nothing you could do about it now. The game was over and you weren’t moving on.

And Matthew watched it.

Matthew promised you space, and he swore he’d give you the time you needed to settle down. But, this was something he couldn’t ignore. He could tell you were off, your entire rookie season was almost perfect and watching the way you folded during this game was gut wrenching. Matthew knew better than anyone, losing sucked. So he took the chance, grabbing his phone and shooting you a text he’d been waiting to send.

Doors open in Calgary.

and I’m so fucking proud of you.

It was the very last text you saw before you went to bed that night, tossing and turning for a few hours thinking about that loss. You couldn’t stop, every bone in your body was aching and you didn’t know what to do. So you bought a flight, packed your shit and was walking down the hallway to Matthew’s apartment without a second thought. You’d left him on read, calling Brady in the middle of the night and asking for his address, who gave it to you reluctantly with a reminder that if you needed to see him this badly you should rethink the needing time thing.

Matthew let out a groan when he had a bang at his door at three in the morning. Noah definitely was trying to walk into the wrong apartment again, and Matthew was grouchy when he whipped his door open. Except it wasn’t Noah after he’d had too many. It was you, teary eyed with your shit in a suitcase and a broken heart.

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” You admit, whispering something you never thought you’d say to anyone, “I just didn’t do enough-”

Matthew didn’t say a word, pulling you into a bone crushing hug and holding you as tightly as he could. You didn’t need to hear it from him, about how things were out of your control and you did your best. You didn’t want that right now, you wanted him, “Baby…”

“Everything hurts,” You whimper, finally just letting it all out. You were bruised and battered from the season, the physical pain alone was enough to upset you, let alone the loss you just took. Matthew carded his fingers through your hair, letting you soak his bare chest with your tears because he wouldn’t have it any other way. You came back to him. You came back to him when things got too tough because you trusted him to bring you some peace, and he was happy about it.

You passed out sometime after that, your tears finally running dry and the exchaustion taking over your body. Matthew woke up early the next day, grateful for the optional morning skate so he could stay with you for just a little bit longer. The sun was just starting to peek through the curtains in his room, a calm snowy morning in Calgary so the city was just a bit quieter. 

Matthew settled on breakfast, working away in his kitchen with the only thing he knew how to make. Tell her you made it, his mom’s words from just a few months prior in his head while he cooked. You padded out his bedroom, one of Matthew’s god awful beer shirts hanging from your frame while you wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed a kiss into his back, “It’s cold here.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Matthew hums, internally pumping his fist when he felt your lips form a smile against his skin. You turned your head, pressing your cheek against his against and letting out a laugh, “What’s so funny?”

“You framed my jersey?” You ask, your eye catching a jersey that was way too familiar. It was hung up beside Matthew’s from his first all star game, both number nineteens staring back at you.

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my favorite player,” Matthew hums, a blush covering his cheeks, “I’m so proud of you.”

“You keep saying that,” Matthew finally turns around, pressing a quick peck to your lips.

“I’ll keep saying it long after we both retire,” Matthew speaks, words clear and sure because he’s had plenty of time to practice this one, “I’ll say it when you win a World Cup gold, I’ll say it when we have kids, I’ll say when you play at the Olympics. I’m going to say it over and over again.”

“But…” You trail off, all of those same demons you’d been fighting when it came to your whatever this was with Matthew, “What I’m not around enough for you?”

Matthew knew what you were thinking about, he’d thought about it plenty too. There were countless sleepless nights where all he did was wonder if you’d find someone in Chicago who could support you better than he could. He’d do his best, he swore he would, but in order for you to be happy, your passion came first. There was always going to be times when he couldn’t be there and it killed him.

“You’re more than enough,” Matthew promises, his lips ghosting over yours, “I want you to seize every opportunity in the world, I just want to be there to tell you that I love you and use the goat emoji on Instagram when you do.”

You let out a laugh, Matthew’s smile wide enough to see his dimples you loved so much, “I think I want to stay a little while.”

“I think you should,” Matthew agrees, capturing your lips in his, “Besides I’m playing tonight and I think I need to show off now.”

“You’re a cocky asshole.”

“But now I’m your cocky asshole.”

***

One year Later

You had a good reason to be late.

You swore Matthew couldn’t possibly be mad at you for this one. You’d missed your flight to Calgary, a few days post a second loss in the semi finals that you’d been taking much better this time around. Mainly because Matthew wasn’t there, but his stupid smile and words of encouragement where there on facetime hours later. That wasn’t the reason you were late, the reason you were late was because you’d received the most insane news of your life and it was an important phone or that flight. You’d caught the next one, legs shaking not to just call him and share the news, but you needed to tell him in person.

You’d finally gotten by the doors to the locker room entrance, out of breath from spriting there from your cab. There was Matthew, tapping his phone and staring at the clock on his phone with furrowed eyebrows. He was still in his suit, tie pulled a little looser, a nervous habit you realized he had some time ago, “Matty-”

“Don’t call me that just because you know you’re late,” Matthew huffs, already ready for the pout that would have followed so he’d forget all about the fact that you promised you’d make it on time. He holds his hand out, waiting for the handshake he made up in the car on the way to the first game you went to after he finally locked it down. You laugh, slapping your hand against his and letting him pull you closer for a kiss.

“They want me on the National Team,” You mumble against his lips, the words spilling out of your mouth when you pull away with an excited smile. Matthew stood there stunned, while you shuffled your feet in the little dance you did when you were really happy. He grabs your cheeks, pressing kisses to your lips again and again.

“We’re celebrating after this, holy shit,” Matthew cheers, still stunned by your news, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, now go score a few goals so we have even more to celebrate,” You kiss him one more time, pushing him before the door before he was late.

“Anything I do seems unimportant now!” Matthew calls out, a light laugh to his voice as he watched you walk away to go sit in the stands.

And that’s how Matthew thought it should be.

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #my writing #nhl imagine #nhl imagines

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 6

Hi , do you got any fluffy johnlock with cuddling

(submitted by here-4-tha-ship)

Anonymous asked: hiii got any johnlock fics where sherlock wants a hug but he feels embarrassed to ask john? thank you sm <3

—–

Hi Lovelies!! I sure do! And enough to do a new list too!! So thank you, people don’t ask for this enough these days hahhah! Hope you enjoy!!

See also:

Hugs & Cuddles and Tooth-Rotting Fluff (Pt. 2)

Hugs & Cuddles Pt. 2 /…/

…/ Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 3 /…

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 4 

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 5

A Better Fate Than Wisdom by flawedamythyst (G, 1,339 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, John’s Sexuality Crisis, Pining Sherlock, Happy Ending, Fluff) – Nearly four hours pass between their first kiss and their second.

Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4,  5-Year-Old Rosie, Love Confessions, Song Fic, Parentlock, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Disney Songs, Beauty and the Beast) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of Made of Music

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The shape of the world around us by Salambo06 (E, 15,058 w., 5 Ch. || Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock, Different First Meeting, John Has a Beard, Light Case Fic, Flirting, First Kiss / Time, Masturbation, Love at First Sight, Horny Sherlock, John’s Bum, Bottomlock, Tenderness, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Shy Sherlock, Sexual Fantasies) – Looking through the bush, Sherlock felt his heartbeat quicken as a man passed in front of him. Sherlock frowned, trying to get a closer look despite the bush. The man was wearing a red plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, and Sherlock couldn't take his eyes off the man’s arms. Muscular, slightly tanned with golden hairs along his forearms. For some unknown reason, Sherlock found himself imagining them around his waist, holding him tightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, Sherlock shook his head. Opening his eyes and looking back to where the man stood only a moment prior, he found himself alone. Great, now his only chance to find his way back to town was gone. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

A Hooligans’ Game Played By Gentlemen by scullyseviltwin (E, 15,213 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Rugby as Foreplay, Porn with Lots of Plot, John POV, Ogling, Body Appreciation, Cranky Sherlock, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Cuddling, Touching, Heavy Petting, Blow Job, Botttomlock) – In which John wants to get back in shape, does so, joins a rugby league and has sex with Sherlock Holmes. In that order.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #hugs and cuddles #my fic recs #fluff fics #submission

[nctsjiho]

Relationship with: SM artists

For JiHo’s relationship with NCT check out the pinned post on my blog. By no means are these all SM artists or is this very detailed and my knowledge in some of these groups is also very limited so please bear with me. If I wrongly represent anyone now or in the future feel free to let me know, but keep in mind all of this is purely fictional.

Super Junior:

Oh dear Lord help poor JiHo

She’s the victim of endless teasing from Super Junior

Since JiHo is pretty sociable she got quite comfortable with SuJu

They might not hang out a lot but whenever they see the girl they’ll approach her to at least greet her (and vice versa, of course)

SuJu also love to bring JiHo up during variety shows to tell a funny episode they had with the girl and “expose” her

Eunhyuk is a bit like an older brother to her, during her trainee days she once walked up to him asking him if he could critique her dancing. He was surprised at how bold she was and could only agree with her because she was so intriguing. He thought JiHo was a great dancer and since that time they became really close, even having each other’s phone numbers and JiHo having Eunhyuk on speed dial. When she was still under-age Eunhyuk became her guardian (not legally) since she has no family in Korea

Red Velvet:

They aren’t really close with each other for a few reasons (nothing bad though)

JiHo joined SM just after Red Velvet debuted and since the group was very busy with promotions and practice JiHo rarely got to see them

Though JiHo was very talented she didn’t have that much training and she was still a little too young when SM thought of adding another member into the group, Yeri had joined Red Velvet in march of 2015 which was clearly an amazing choice

SM also thought, pretty early on, that JiHo wouldn’t be a great fit for the group’s concept and overall look so they quickly stopped considering JiHo to become a Red Velvet member

Even after years passed, JiHo didn’t really get much closer to most of the members, but she respects them a lot as artists

Out of the whole group she’s probably closest with Seulgi and Wendy, who kinda see her as a little sister they want to take care of

Wendy checks up on JiHo every once in a while through text or invites her out to have dinner and drags Seulgi along with her

They look out for her and tease her a lot when it comes to being the only female member of NCT

“You need to be surrounded by a bit more oestrogen every once in a while, JiHo.” ^^

They will give her advice or just try to cheer her up when they catch the younger girl looking a bit stressed

JiHo would love to do a dance cover with Seulgi sometime in the future

SHINee:

Honestly who doesn’t love SHINee?!??

I’m not saying JiHo is secretly a Shawol, but I am saying SHINee is one of the groups that introduced her to kpop

She always had (and still has) so much respect for the group and they are probably the reason she accepted the scout’s request to come to Korea to become a trainee at SM

A possibility to debut under the same company as SHINee?? YES MA’AM

She has a very friendly relationship with the boys

Saying hi in passing or making small talk whenever they end up in the same elevator

Maybe even went to get something to eat together in the company cafeteria, but besides that there isn’t very much interaction

Taemin has mentioned her a handful of times after SuperM formed since he’s in the same group of some of JiHo’s members now

It usually about how he thinks JiHo’s really cute definitely during her trainee days when she was a little shy towards SHINee or that she’s a really great dancer/performer

Fans have wanted Key & JiHo or Minho & JiHo interactions for a while now, thinking they would make iconic duos (because chaos-), but some other fans have mentioned how she and Onew would make for a great duo because the girl tends to gravitate to the calmer members in NCT more often as well

EXO:

Well Kai is her idol so...

A lot of teasing once again

Though funnily enough, some EXO members seem to be intimidated by JiHo or act awkward around her

JiHo has been pretty open about being an EXO-L and so many fans poke fun at EXO about them being awkward around the girl (they have adopted her into the fandom and she’s pretty well received there)

“She just has this aura around her~”

MTL to feel intimidated by/awkward around JiHo:

Most: Sehun, Suho & Kai

Least: Chen, Baekhyun, Xiumin (EXO-CBX ^^) & Lay (EXO-M <3, the former Chinese members were also not really awkward around her)

Not at all: Chanyeol & D.O.

JiHo’s fans are sad that her and Kai are so awkward around each other and blame EXO and NCT (mainly those in SuperM) for teasing Kai so much by mentioning JiHo looks up to him, that now he can barely look her in the eyes

People have also pointed out how funny it is that Kai and Sehun are especially intimidated by JiHo, comparing them to big dogs being scared of a little puppy (wait this is cute)

Chanyeol and D.O. get along very well with JiHo, Chanyeol mainly being kind of a big brother for JiHo, but a big brother who likes making fun of her and embarrass her

JiHo mentioned the group a lot in her first year of being an idol, after that she kind of stopped (theory: she got told of by SM for talking about EXO too much after getting a lot of mean comments from antis ＞﹏＜)

Interactions between her and the group have also been insanely spares since mid 2019

(another theory: fans think that JiHo isn’t allowed to talk/interact with EXO anymore)

She has only mentioned EXO members when talking about SuperM, but it was mainly to support the group’s promotions

#Bring_Back_JiHo_X_EXO_2021

SNSD/Girl’s Generation:

NCT has teased JiHo before saying that she’s scared of SNSD

She defended herself by telling everyone that it’s because they are her seniors and she really respects them so she tends to get nervous around them 

Some of the members of the girl group have mentioned JiHo before and said they hung out a little

Hyoyeon has been very expressive about her fondness for the girl

She even said that she wanted JiHo to join her when she participated in Hit The Stage

It didn’t end up happening because the kind of dances she did where either “too mature” or “unfortunately we didn’t get permission (from SM) to let Jiho join”

Hyoyeon has posted some pictures with JiHo on instagram, either cheering her on during NCT promotions or just because they were casually hanging out

JiHo also really likes Sunny and Taeyeon and has been invited by the girls to attended their concerts a few times now

On the outside it looks like they have a very strict senior-junior relationship, but every once in a while the group tells them how they are actually closer to JiHo than people think, they just don’t have very many opportunities to show it

They also do NOT tolerate any hate towards JiHo (definitely from those who comment on her not deserving to be in a boy group or her skill as an idol in general) and WILL defend her and shoot down any comments

Aespa:

She trained with a few of the girls for a little while

But when it got announced that JiHo would be joining NCT instead of a girl group, she started training with the boys (NCT and trainees who’d join NCT)

Some fans speculated that JiHo and Aespa weren’t on good terms, but there was no evidence to back up their theories

More so, it was even revealed that JiHo knew the choreography for “Black Mamba” during a V Live

JiHo has openly supported the group by talking about their debut song and stages, but there aren’t really any other interactions between them

BoA:

A collab between them would be LEGENDARY

When BoA visited NCT during their practise of Black on Black during the filming of Master in The House, she pointed JiHo out and complimented her for being able to be as powerful as the boys

JiHo looks up to BoA very much and during a variety show has revealed that she used to practise a lot of her songs/dances while she was a trainee

It happened a few times that the singer has expressed her faith in the younger girl’s potential and skill and hopes that JiHo will get to show of more of her talent because “Currently, I think she’s not able to show all her skills. She’s a junior I am able to trust to deliver (a great performance) if I asked her to work on a project with or for me.”

BoA’s comments about the younger girl only solidified the theories that SM is suppressing JiHo’s talent

JiHo has spoken out about it very subtly, saying that she’s happy where she is now as long as she gets to keep performing with the boys

In response to an international fan asking if JiHo ever thought about branching out to work on a solo project like a mixtape or even just solo dance videos to show of her choreographing skills:

“It makes me genuinely happy to perform with my friends right now. I think I still have a lot of learning to do. If ever my company reaches out to me to do something like that I will think about it, but I don’t really feel the need for anything like that right now. I’m happy (with the way things are) right now.”

#jiho.guide #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct fluff #nct female member #nct scenarios #nct reactions #nct extra member #nct additional member #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

[iwillgotoheavenforyou]

I read this post some where and i am so sad to think these ppl went through so much and are still smiling so brightly🥺🥺🥺 please read even though its a long one

EXO deserves everything. They didn’t walk the flower road, they walked the blood road.

Ever since the first day of debut, they were never an “unpopular” group. And then everything started. Knetizens bash on EXO-K, they were on the news every day basically. Cnetizens bash on EXO-M, they were seen so low by so many artists. Did SM care? No.

Why did EXO become a semi-popular group, and they still are like as if they are about to disband? The debut song, Mama, they performed it for a year. What did they do during the whole year? They went to the cast of K-shows and performed in the back as a scene.

The second year, they came back. HUGE. They became one of the top boy groups in Korea. During this time, Kris went back to China with the excuse of his family. Everyone said that he is not going to come back. He came back for EXO Showtime, and fans were so happy. Despite the number of times Suho mentioned group spirit and responsibility, he left. He left 8 days before the first world tour. What does that mean? They have to re-do everything. They have to distribute the lines again, they have to do a different dance formation, and they must do and master it in a week. From getting the moves done to mastering it, they have to get it done for the first world tour. They didn’t have time to eat anything, they stayed up so late every day to practice. If they really can’t handle it anymore they would only sleep for 10 minutes and get right back to practice. Suho was so tired he had a high fever. It’s a daily thing for every member to go to the hospital. Lay’s waist injury was so intense, but he was afraid to go to a doctor because he is worried that the doctor is going to need him to rest, and he can’t do that. Kai’s ankle injury caused him to not able to walk normally, still, he literally started living in the practice room. Baekhyun had six intravenous drips in one day. Intravenous drip takes a lot of time, so he just took a ton of medicine and tried to get through it. The first world tour almost cost them their lives.

Other K-pop groups get first place in music shows, everyone congratulates them. EXO gets first place in music shows, Suho got attacked by Antis saying that he was fake crying. Other K-pop groups get (a) Daesang(s), everyone says that they deserved it. EXO gets a Daesang, everyone says that SM paid for it. It’s okay, every group got bashed on by netizens at once. An 11-member group, fans’ hearts started aching because of one that left. The second time that they went to Happy Camp (Chinese reality show), all eleven members started sobbing saying that it’s a new start. And then it’s ten. This time, an ace of the group left. During the last concert with Luhan still in EXO, Chen and Xiumin surrounded him and cheered him up. They were following him around everywhere. Fans were innocent enough to think that Luhan is not gonna leave.

Finally, people started to chill down, EXO-Ls showed everyone that EXO is a truly honorable group. Then, Baekhyun’s dating controversy came up. Fans and the web were triggered and bashed on him so much. Some EXO-Ls even told Baekhyun to leave EXO, told him to stay away from the other members. When he was in the airport, Antis threw a flower pot at his face. Baekhyun is an idol! He can’t get his face ruined! That’s the rule of K-pop. He is so stupid and he only knows to show his smile to everyone and hide everything. At a concert, he wanted to hold back his tears, but he couldn’t anymore, and he covered his eyes and silently sobbed. Baekhyun got bashed at the whole public, and it isn’t over yet. Lay chose to stay after three has left, and he got bashed on and people told him to leave EXO. My heart aches when I think back at this. Chanyeol was so worn out that he needed oxygen saturation in order to keep performing. Kai had a crutch with him the whole time during the concert stage. Chen performed and sang live with a high fever. Baekhyun had multiple lymph node inflammations, stomach bleeding, and bone fractures.

EXO-Ls think that finally, everything should be on the right track, and then it’s st multiple attacks by Antis and the public. It’s not fan wars that mattered anymore. Baekhyun was trying to cheer up an EXO-L that was going through depression, and then the video was falsely edited by an Anti and was being attacked by people from Asia to America by criticizing him, saying that he doesn’t give a care about people in depression and is so disrespectful. Kai drew a cartoon of a bear, took a picture of it, uploaded it to Instagram to share with us EXO-Ls and was called out for plagiarism. Chen lost a game, applied an exaggerating lipstick, and got criticized for racism. Nobody believes what their intentions were, nobody believed them, nobody listened to them instead of their fans.

Don’t tell me that groups that came out of big companies are always so much better than small companies, or something like BTS is way more hardworking than EXO because they came out of a big company. Their sunbaes did give them a little of an advantage, but they never brought huge fame to EXO. SM gave them a little extra planning regarding their debut, and they didn’t give anything else other than that. Sehun is a visual, and what did SM give him a lot of? Nothing. Chen’s singing is recognized by the whole music industry, and did SM give him any songs to sing solo? Baekhyun is on Billboard and Melon’s male solo artists' charts, and SM gave him only a little chance for a solo. D.O. is an idol actor that is recognized by the whole movie/drama industry, and every single chance he had he got it himself. Chanyeol’s love for producing could only be published on Soundcloud, SM never gave him chance to put it into an actual album, and he got criticized for plagiarism as well. Xiumin has huge popularity in Korea, and he could top the chart if he wanted to. But SM decided to hide him for most of the time.

I admit that all K-pop groups are hardworking, but EXO’s journey to fame has blood with it.

#exo #Exol #exo baekhyun #exo chen #exo do kyungsoo #exo xuimin #exo chanyeol #exo kai #exo suho #Exo sehun #Exo lay

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

hiii~✨hope you’re having a good day/night !!can you do taeyong with a praise kink? you can add whatever else you think would fit cus i’m not good at coming up with that lolz. btw i love you’re writing it’s so good

Awww thank you bby 🥺💖 And thank you for the request! I hope you like it!

⚠️Warnings⚠️: sub!Taeyong, fem!dom!reader, pegging, praise kink, fingering (male recieving), he also rides you, but that's really the pegging part.

Good Boy

You cheered loudly with the rest of the NCTzens as NCT 127 finished their stage for Kick It. After they left the stage, you were led by a security guard to meet them in their dressing room. The NCTzens that noticed you leaving waved to you and asked you to tell the boys what a good job they had done tonight. You smiled and waved back at the friendly fans, blowing kisses jokingly every once in a while.

     You and your loving boyfriend, Taeyong, had gone public about 7 months ago after a year of dating. It took a hell of a lot of convincing for SM to be alright with it but they let you do it after seeing how dedicated both of you were to your relationship and realized you two wouldn't be breaking up anytime soon. The fans were a little iffy about you at first, thinking you were doing it for publicity or money, but after seeing you in so many VLives with him and seeing how genuinely happy both of you were, most of them started supporting you. Of course there were those people who sent hate, claiming you were taking their precious Taeyong away from them, but they don't really bother you that much.

     You knocked on the door to their changing room and waited for an okay to go in. It was a changing room after all, and you were sure they wouldn't want you walking in on them changing. It had accidentally happened once and you didn't want it to happen again. You heard shuffling in the room and a second later Donghyuk cracked the door open to see who it was. A smile immediately lit up his face as he saw you standing outside the door.

     "NOONA!" He yelled happily before jumping into your arms and hugging you like a koala bear, making you wrap your arms around his waist to hold him up with a laugh.

     "Hello to you too!" After standing still for a few moments to see if he would let go, you just decided to walk into the room and kick the door closed behind you with a laugh as he continued to hold onto you. You heard the other members laugh before someone walked over to you.

     "Donghyuk, let go of her! Other people want to hug her too!" Johnny said through light chuckles. You felt Donghyuk's lips pout against your neck before unwrapping his legs from your waist and sulking to the couch. All of the boys were changed out of their performing clothes and were working on getting out of their make-up. You waved to everyone else before greeting your boyfriend with a kiss. A few of the boys teasingly 'oooOOOooh'ed while Mark, Johnny, and Haechan made gagging noises from behind you. You rolled your eyes as you pulled away from Taeyong. He chuckled at their antics with red ears before giving you a light kiss on the cheek.

     "Hey baby. Did you enjoy the show?" He asked, looking up at you from his seat as his make-up artists removed his make-up. 

     "Of course I did, you all did amazing! A few NCTzens I passed on my way here wanted me to tell you they all loved your performance." You told them as you smiled at Taeyong through the mirror. Your boyfriend smiled brightly and the rest of the boys 'whoop'ed and cheered for themselves.

     "I was your favorite though, right?" Taeyong said as he leaned his head back to look up at you once his make-up was removed. You teasingly hissed in uncertainty.

     "Ooh, I don't know. Jaehyun did look pretty good tonight." You heard Jaehyun laugh from his seat before sexily pushing his hair back and winking at you with a dorky smile through the mirror. Taeyong pouted with a whine and tugged at your sleeve to bring your attention back to him. You laughed loudly and leaned down to give him a kiss.

     "I'm just kidding, baby, you know you're always my favorite." He looked up at you with his puppy-like smile that made your heart melt. You heard Donghyuk gag behind you, making the other members laugh.

     "I'm heading out, I think I might get cavities if I stay around here any longer."

     "Yeah, come on guys. I think we should leave the lovebirds alone." Johnny agreed as he looked back at you and Taeyong, wiggling his eyebrows from the door. You rolled your eyes as the rest of the boys filed out of the room. You let out a laugh as you felt your boyfriend wrap his arms around your waist and bury his burning red face in your shoulder. You turned and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. You picked up your phone to check the time, not too surprised to see how late it was.

     "It's getting pretty late, we might need to get going if I'm gonna have enough time to drop you off at the dorms." Your boyfriend pouted at you and moved his arms to loosely wrap around your shoulders.

     "I kinda wanted to go to your place. I haven't seen you in a while so I was thinking we could have a little movie marathon." You looked to one of the make-up artists to make sure it was alright. She nodded before she finished packing up and waited for you two to leave so she could lock up. You turned and smiled at him.

     "Alright, let's go." He smiled, grabbed your hand, and started dragging you to your car, running like an over excited puppy. You giggled as you finally reached your car and started the drive to your house. You both blasted music, screaming the lyrics as you pulled up in your driveway. He got out of the car first and bounded up to the door in excitement. You looked him up and down, finally taking in what he was wearing as you walked to the door.

     He was wearing a loose button-up shirt that hung low enough to show off his collarbones that was half tucked into his pants. The ripped black skinny jeans he was wearing were your favorite because they hugged his ass perfectly. The holes were all along the front, with bigger holes towards the top, showing off his perfectly tanned thighs. The innocent smile on his face as he waited for you at the door made you want to turn him into a moaning mess beneath you.

     "Hurry uuuup." He whined out, snapping you out of your trance. You licked your lips before picking up your pace and unlocking the door. Before he could run to the living room to set up a movie, you closed the door and pulled him closer to you by the waist with his back still facing you.

     "Hold up baby. I was thinking, maybe instead of watching a movie, we could do something more… fun." Taeyong shivered against you as you pulled his hips towards you, grinding your hips into his ass. He gulped as you leaned up to suck and kiss at his exposed neck.

     "F-fun?"

     "Of course baby. You've been such a good boy lately and I think you deserve a reward for it, don't you?" He whimpered and grinded back against you as you praised him.

     "Y-yes. I-I've been a good boy. Mommy's good little boy." He whined out as he continued to roll his ass against you at a faster pace and tilted his head to give you more room on his neck. You smirked and guided him into the bedroom, closing the door behind you.

     "Strip." He almost ripped his shirt off before moving to quickly kick off his pants while you reached under the bed to grab your strap-on and lube after stripping yourself. He was bare naked and laying in the center of the bed by the time you retrieved your toy. He shivered and whined at the sight of the strap in your hands. You quickly settled yourself between his legs and moved to kiss him as you leaned over him. You moved down to leave more marks on his neck and collarbones before pouring lube onto your fingers and pushing them into his hole. He whimpered and clung to your shoulders at the pleasure he felt from your fingers inside of him. He pushed his hips back to meet your hand as you sped up the pace of your fingers. You smirked against his neck at the submissive noises he was letting out.

     "You look so pretty like this baby; with my fingers pounding into you. Do you like mommy pounding into you like this babyboy?" He moaned louder at your question and nodded frantically.

     "Use your words baby."

     "Y-yes! Love mommy's fingers inside of me! A-ha." His eyes rolled back in his head when you started stroking his dick at the same pace your fingers were moving in and out of him.

     "F-fuck, mommy! Please move faster, p-please!" He whined as he moved his hips to meet your hands as they continued to pleasure him. Another moan ripped out of him as you sped up your hands movements. He continued to thrust and buck up into your hands with his beautiful cries of pleasure. You groaned against his throat.

     "Fuck, baby. You sound so beautiful. Scream louder, let mommy hear how good she's making you feel." He squeezed his eyes shut and moaned louder at your command.

     "S-shit- ngh- mommy! 'M gonna cum! F-fuck! Please let me cum mama!!" He cried out as his thighs squeezed around your waist.

     "Go ahead baby, cum for mommy like a good boy." He whined and whimpered before cumming in your hand and all over his stomach with a loud moan. You moved your hand up to your mouth, licking his seed up before doing the same to his stomach. His breathing picked up again and you felt his abs tense under your tongue. His dick twitched against his stomach at the sound of you adjusting the harness of the strap-on you now had hanging securely on your waist.

     "Do you want mommy to fuck you with this baby? Wanna cum for mommy a second time?" He whimpered and nodded as he felt the tip of the didlo enter his ass.

     "F-fuck, yes. Please mommy." He mumbled out as he looked up at you with his irresistible puppy dog eyes. You quickly thrusted your hips to meet his, making him moan loudly against your shoulder as his hands roamed your back. You smirked before flipping over so Taeyong was sitting up on your strap. He bit his swollen bottom lip, almost drawing blood as the dildo pushed further into him, barely hitting his prostate. He tightly reached up and gripped your shoulders as he started bouncing on your fake cock.

     "F-fuck, fuck, fuck, f-fuck!! Feels s-so fucking good!" He whimpered out in between high pitched moans as he started bouncing faster after finding his prostate. You bit your lips as you looked up at him, his head thrown back in pleasure as he rode you. He brought one of his hands up to start playing with his nipples, making him moan louder.

     "Fuck baby, you look so goddamn perfect like this. Mommy's pretty little boy." He squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered at your words.

     "Th-thank- fuck!- Thank you m-mommy! Ngh-ah!!" After a few minutes, he started slowing down as his legs started getting tired. You harshly grabbed his hips and played your feet in the mattress, fucking up into him as hard as you could. His mouth fell open and his eyes rolled back in his head in pleasure.

     "A-HA! NGH-Fuck! Mommy!! AH! Gonna cum!! P-please let me cum, please!! I've been s-such a good boy- the b-best boy for you!!" You groaned at his words and started leaving more hickeys down his chest.

     "Cum for me baby, cum for mommy. You always look so pretty when you cum baby." With one last moan, he came all over his stomach and both of your chests. He shakily climbed off your strap after a few more thrusts and leaned down to lick his cum off your chest. After he finished he continued down and removed your strap-on before burying his face between your thighs. Your hand shot to his hair as you felt him start to lick at your clit.

     "F-fuck, baby, you don't have to do anything for me, I'll be alright." He looked up at you through his eyelashes and gave you a precious, innocent smile.

     "I know, I just wanna make mama feel good." You groaned and rolled your head back into the soft pillows as Taeyong moved back down to suck and lick your clit with enthusiasm.

#dom!reader #nct 127 #sub idol #sub!nct 127 #sub!nct u #sub!nct #sub!taeyong #lee taeyong #nct scenarios #nct reactions #nct imagines #nct 127 smut #nct u smut #nct smut #lee taeyong smut #dom reader #sub!kpop #sub taeyong #sub nct #sub nct 127 #sub nct u #sub!super m #sub super m

[tyonfs]

seriously fuck this app for not letting me reblog in peace 🤬 god knows how many times i tried i lost everything i typed 🧍anyways sending this here instead ^^

i may have alr forgotten a huge chunk of what i wanted to say but this i haven’t— i love loooove love their friend group so much. esp how loving and caring and protective renjun is over mc!! :( also, mc and jaemin’s dynamic? whew loved that sm. how they could just naturally transition to lovers (horny ones at that — but that’s more jaemin rlly that bastard) and their closeness as friends is still there yk what i mean ;-;; tho i found all the chaos so much fun hhhh. yeonjun just mentioning he’s interested in her but haven’t rlly acted much (or at all even lmao) on it since yet suddenly became the source of chaotic misunderstandings(?) NSHSHSHS

THE SEXY SCENES 🧍 despite how annoyingly horny jm can be love how he unknowingly(?) just put her needs first without expecting her to reciprocate it right away (hope i remembered this correctly i know he like,,, realized it a bit late after that, god i hate my mind) of course he cares about her more than he realized this idiot. there’s the awkwardness but damn oh damn the intimacy it’s all so fucking hot but u could feel there’s alr more to it than just lust :( love these stupid babies.

and oh my god when he was streaming!!!!! but the way i pictured it like the times he’s on their huya lives?? ykno when he just runs his mouth nonstop while playing GODDDDD very annoying yet endearing yes jaemin annoys me so much but i l word ok ok ok

they’re so stupid but understandable everyone is vvv likeable here btw :( will never stop thinking about how they just have such great chemistry. as much as yeonjun was slandered here haha let’s not forget how when it’s bad experiences it’s compared to hyucksNSHSHSHSHSHS i enjoyed reading this a lot it’s so much thank you :(( one of the great ways to start this year. (…..being whipped for njm ig)

love his character development here btw hands down. i cannot move on about his fucking twitch tshirt tho NDHDHDH m gonna throw that away myself if i could. ALSO oh my god i just remembered it’s so funny how someone always walked in on them HAHA the confession — as cringey and awkward(??) as it was, that’s just so them yk and to top it all off jaemin forgetting to end his stream 💀💀💀 ok again. this is so enjoyable to read thank you so much i hope you have a great day and a great year ahead u deserve the best ;;;;

tumblr’s bugs strike again 😞😞 i’m so sorry it crashed on your reblog love D; but ??? omg you rlly typed it out again for the ask THATS SO NICE OF YOU :(( and pls this is such a long ask i’m like sobbing over the fact that you took the time to write all of this and you have so many thoughts about my fic ☹️💗 i had to bring out my notes app to make sure i typed out everything i was feeling while referencing back to this ask !!!!! 😳 thank you sm for reading and sending this like !!! IM SO HAPPY 😭😭

i’m so glad you liked the friend group together !! i’ve always wanted to write a fic where the friend group was well fleshed out and had important roles (and this actually wasn’t the fic i was going to try it out on) but it served as a good stepping stone and your words make me feel more hyped to improve :’)) although they didn’t have many scenes together, i loved them too 🥰🥰 i get emotionally attached to my own characters sobsob and YES RENJUN !!!! he’s my ult too :’) actually i ult half of dream so i cant defend myself but !! he made their arrangement soooo romeo and juliet for a little 😭 and i love writing protective (but sorta chill??) best friends ♡ AAAA PLS IT WARMS MY HEART TO HEAR THAT YOU LIKED MC AND JAEMINS DYNAMIC that’s like everything for me 🤧💘 i rlly wanted to preserve their friendship even while they were treading the line between fwb to lovers, but there were those little moments like jaemin calling mc creepy for staring at him and mc telling him to shut up when he made a dirty joke :’))

HAHAHAH poor yeonjun 😭 the whole situation is a fictional representation of friends exaggerating a memory of a guy saying he’s interested in you, and then proceeding to hype it up without realizing they’ve looked to deeply into it 😵‍💫 but man yeonjun’s officially branded as The Infamous Litterer™️ in jaemin’s eyes

AHHH IM GLAD YOU LIKED THOSE MOMENTS :’)) <33 yesyesyes!! mc didn’t exactly realize she had feelings at first but i like to think ab it like “she fell first, he fell harder” bc jaemin completely lost his confidence when he realized he liked her a lot and didn’t want to push her too far. he didn’t go all the way with her bc he realized right before but yes he didn’t expect her to reciprocate what she wasn’t ready for :’) little did he know that mc is like the biggest virgin but extra horny 😭

PLEASE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT hes so cute when he games i’m sobbing but yes that mouth RUNS i lov when he talks fast HAHAH like in the mafia games he spits bars to his advantage to make everyone else give up trying to understand 😭😭 also i’m so glad you liked all the characters :’)) my goal was to make them all have their charms even with little screentime(??) LOLL and 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ hyuck having girl trouble And the awkward first-time story 😞 free him from the slander i bestowed upon him

GLAD I COULD START UR YEAR OFF WITH SELF INDULGENT NA JAEMIN CONTENT THO 😎😎 it’s what the nanadoongies deserve 🧘‍♀️ AND AHAHA YES they were always walked in 😭💔 first by renjun, then by jaemin’s twitch stream audience, and then by mark (but at least they were mostly safe for mc’s first-time !! until jeno walked in during the aftermath 💀)

but thank you sm for leaving me such a sweet and heartfelt message angel !! i’m so touched that you put in all this effort to type this out for me 😭😭💖 i hope you have a wonderful day/night and a great 2022 ahead !! ♡ sending my love and support your way :]

#tyonfs asks #njmtography #fic: cherry girl! #💘💞💗💖💘💝💕💖💗

[taeyungie]

hiiiii~ 🎨 pleaseee? 🥺

SKY YESSSS EVERYTHING FOR YOU! YOU'RE HERE! A REAL QUEEN HAS ARRIVED INTO MY ARMS AAAAAAA I CANNOT WAIT TO WRITE A WHOLE BOOK IN THIS ASK ✨👍❤️❤️❤️❤️ idk i know it's silly but i get so much joy from complimenting you in practicular sjdhsjks you're just the cutest and you deserve all the love AND I'M HERE TO GIVE IT TO YOU AT ALL TIMES!!!! 😌😌😌❤️💕💘💓❤️💕💘 you're really truly the one who carries this site on your shoulders and it makes me so incredibly proud of you because you always work so hard 🥺 YOU MAKE SO MANY PEOPLE HAPPY i couldn't imagine being here without you!! YOU'RE ESSENTIAL, ANGEL. Before i start with showering your gifs in love all i want to say is that YOUR GIFS JUST OPEN MY THIRD EYE AND I HEAR ANGELS SING. DON'T YOU TELL ME LATER AGAIN THAT I'M EXAGGERATING (I'll get to that later on 😤) BECAUSE YOU'RE SIMPLY A GENIUS ✨ your style are one in a million, there's no way i could ever get confused on whether a gif is yours because your gifs are unmistakable!! ONE OF A KIND! you're such a precious baby, always being worried if your gifs are pretty and this makes me want to give you all the love (BUT AT THE SAME TIME LIKE 😤😤🤜👊🤛✊🤛👊✊ HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR OWN GIFS???? LIKE /ONE/ EVEN??????? OH MY GOD) and write essays about your every gifset because every 👏 single 👏 one 👏 of your sets makes me want to write poems NOW MOVING ONNNNN

I'll really have to put this under the cut because oh my god i'm so sorry you might want to get a popcorn on the way because.... yeah

good god i think i need to lie down YOU DROPPED A BOMB AND NEXT SECOND YOU JUST VANISHED LIKE '💆🏻‍♀️😌💅🏻 uhuh goodnight' AKSNDKSJSKSKKSKSKSKD ARE YOU SANE THIS IS INSANE FKANDKDKDKSJSSK THE WAY THAT I SAW THIS CLIP BEFORE AND THOUGHT oh he looks gooood BUT NOW YOU DECIDED TO JUST UH??? PUT SOME OF YOUR ✨SPICE✨ INTO THIS MEAL AND PUT IT ON A PLATE LOOKING LIKE /THIS/???????????????? bro i need a doctor i'm having literal heart palpitations...... WHERE DO I EVEN START 🙏 (warning: a very stupid and corny word-play ahead) he's beauty he's grace he's mr. golden face WKDHSKSKKS BUT REALLY HIS SKINNNNNNNNNN HISSSS SKIIIIIINNNNNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭 THE WAY HE'S GLOWING, PLEASE!!!!!!!!! only you can make them look like this, you pull out in their skin colors everything what's the best, just stunning. next, lips.. oh my goodness, lips. beautiful, amazing, just *mwah*, beautiful, kinda desaturated (which i love in your gifs) red shade. next we have CURVES GAME ON POINT, JUST STUNNING, IF I TELL YOU THAT YOU INSPIRE ME SO MUCH AKSJSJSJSJSJKS amazing blend to the background, beautiful contrast. your gifs make me fall in love with him more and more every day 💔 and i can't leave without mentioning SHARPENING SETTINGS AAAAAAA i love itttt

indeed the cutest pie 😭😭😭 i loooove how you sometimes make your gifs so tall, you know, it's so pleasing to look at and makes them so unique and pretty. I LOVE the coloring here, it's so soft and makes everything look so flawless and light?? because gif itself is a bit dark too and his skin, and light hair are just outstanding but the contrast is so soft that everything is just pulled together nicely and looks amazing! and i love how you just pulled a magenta on me and made his mic look THIS GOOD ahhhh it's THE PRETTIEST MIC EVER 😭

this set is just... yummy 🤷‍♀️ you know???? YOU KNOW i know you know 👏 I'M– so in love with the coral, mustard and soft minty shades of background probably that's why it reminds me just of a good candy 👍👍 to add to that there actually ARE candies on the screen, like 4 of them 👀👀👀👀 again, curves adjustments - *chiefs kiss* i love skin colors and lips, it's something i can't get enough of i just simply want to eat a gif 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

now, we have reached the star of the show. I'll bring back something as a friendly reminder :

you cannot just say it's not the best and then have me just staring at it for five next hours ISLSNSJWNSJSJSNKSSJSJ please PLEASE where am i supossed to start FIRST OF ALL WHICH PARALLEL UNIVERSE YOU'RE LIVING IN THAT YOU MANAGED TO MAKE MAGENTAS LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL I JUST CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW KAJSJSKS i'm really saying this seriously right now but this gifset made me tear up because i notice every single detail and it overwhelmed me to the very ends of my nerve endings KSJSKSK BECAUSE– 😔 skin color, suit color, hair color, lip color, mic color, sharpening, background, lighting, contrast, exposure.... all of it is just so beautifully composed and i don't think anyone could ever make something this amazing, especially looking at raw footage like comparing your gif to video frame it's just.. insane. you have magic hands and big brain that's all i have to say and i think it's truly one of my favorite sets of yours

run episode koo 🥺🥺 first and foremost i wanna notice and highlight how much i love that you just got rid of...... all blue and green KSJDJS LIKE PERIOD QUEEN AS YOU SHOULD ✨✨✨ i was kinda scared to do it on my own gifs and here i have another example of how you're just a genius, not scared of ANYTHING ✊💯💘 and then we can move onto his beautiful, tanned, golden skin and gorgeous red lips. I LOOOVEEEEEE IT SO MUCH I LOVE CURVES HERE AGAIN AAAAAAA I'll literally say it every time because it's the best part of your every set and I'm A COWARD TO MAKE MY GIFS TOO DARK AND DO THE CURVES THE WAY I WANT TO SKDJJSKS so i admire yours 😌✨

this gifset just simply brings me so much joy, it's like drinking a glass of cold water in the middle of the night, it's like feeling a warm gentle touch of sunlight on your skin when the sun is rising, it's like a fresh breeze ✨ again, stunning coloring, i love how you mixed oranges with this pastel blue and beiges you have kinda going there 🙇‍♀️ on its just so so so pretty AND ALSO OF COURSE /THEM/, THEY ARE JUST SILLY AND BEAUTIFUL, NEXT QUESTION

AJSHSJJSDKABSJDKSKKSS FIRST OF ALL THE ✨BONUS✨ IS LITERALLY ME @ YOU AFTER YOU DROPPED OF THIS GIFSET like you know i like this whole situation we have going on here wink wink how old was he in 2015 lemme do a quick math yeah 18 EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD WAS HE AND HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO LOOK LIKE THIS???? yeah no if i was a stan back then we would have a problem you know 👊✊🤜👊🤛✊👊 me looking like.... just nowhere near /this/ good..... at almost 20th year of my life is crying. i love the use of reds and brown here AND OF COURSE CURVES, MOVING ON

🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯!!!!!! THIS SET LOOKS LIKE A HONEY COMB!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ i love how vibrant and bright the background is but you still managed to restore his skin into a perfect golden shade AHHHHHH it's so pretty

NEXT ONE IS DEDICATED FOR USER TAEYUNGIE IDK HER BUT SHE'S SURE DAMN LUCKY 🔊🔊🔊🔊 PLEASE i was so happy when you decided to make this set in the end 🥺🥺🥺 i belive i already screamed lots under the set in the tags but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's amazing beautiful just gorgeous from head to toe (a gif i mean cuz clearly we cannot see his toes SKSJSJSKSJSK) A M A Z I N G coloring, veey warm very soft he just looks like a carmel with raspberry on top (WHY DO I USE SO MANY FOOD REFERENCES SKJSJSKS I'M NOT HUNGRY I SWEAR) BUT NO, FOR REAL. he just looks so cozy here and i wanna hug him so much 😔😔😔 long story short my mind and stomach perform pirouettes because i'm head over heels for this man. AGAIN THANK YOU SM BABY FOR DEDICATING THIS ONE FOR ME ❤️❤️❤️

we're here, we survived till the 10th and at the same time last gifset of this post, TIME TO POP THE CHAMPAGNE ✨ and scream a little but more because HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL I'M LITERALLY FEELING MYSELF EVAPORATING SJSJKSKSKS the contrast here is darker than usual AND I'M LOVING IT it's bringing all his best features also he just looks like a glazed donut which kinda makes me cry (WAIT I JUST REALIZED I AGAIN DID A GOOD REFERENCE SKJSJS WTF) BUT HIS GLOW 😭 HIS GLOW 😭😭✨ just amazing, it's inappropriate how much i spent staring at this set KSJSJSKSK

when i tell you that writing this one took me like... two hours. but it was totally worth it and purely out of love for your stuff. anyway, i deserve a kiss on the forehead 😌

creators send me 🎨 & I’ll tell you my favorite of your last ten creations and why

#answered #ask game

[troubatrain]

twisted in bedsheets - m. tkachuk

a/n: this is straight up smut.... like minimal plot mostly filth. but i hope you guys like it, i may give it a part two if anyone wants to see it but i don't know yet. big shoutout to my resident whores @hookingminor & @tkafuckit ily both sm

taglist : @barzysreputation

warnings: it's smush time (smut)

You almost wanted to make fun of him.

A part of you wondered, what did a single, twenty three year old, professional athlete who lived in a different country most of year need a house this big for? That wasn’t your business, and really neither was showing up two days after Matthew moved in with a bottle of wine and silly housewarming gift to make yourself feel better about where his little brother, also known as your best friend, was. You knocked loudly, hoping the car in the driveway meant Matthew was home and you weren’t wasting your time.

Matthew was inside, finally getting some peace and quiet after spending the day listening to his mother and the interior designer he hired argue about throw pillows. He jumped at the knock of his door, not used to the way it echoed through the house he bought on a whim. You were standing on the other side, bouncing on your heels with a bag in your hand and Matthew couldn’t help but smile.

Matthew always had a soft spot for you, Brady was your best friend and just like Matthew found himself watching out for Brady, he did the same for you. It was easy to keep it like that for years, Brady being far more possessive because you were his friend and not Matthew’s and not everything needs to be about you Matt, but it’d gotten harder lately. It was sudden, one summer Matthew came home and you were lounging by the pool and he swore his dick twitched in his pants, and it just wasn’t getting easier. It wasn’t easier when he tried to convince himself that there was an age gap between the both of you, even though it was barely two years and no one would blink an eye. It wasn’t easier when he beat the Senators and you quietly told him he had a good game because if Brady caught wind of it he’d lose his mind. And it sure as hell wasn’t easier when Brady mentioned your boyfriend constantly.

Your boyfriend who was having a party that Matthew knew for a fact Brady was at, but why weren’t you? Matthew couldn’t possibly get his hopes up, knowing if you were single he’d find some way to break your heart and you didn’t deserve that. That was the thing, Matthew ruined people and you were a far better person than he was to begin with. Matthew opens the door regardless, a smile on his face when he meets your eyes.

“Hi,” You beam, trying to play off like you were happy when you were just looking for a distraction that didn’t involve driving around and crying to Taylor Swift, “I, uh, congrats?”

Matthew chuckles, cocking his head to the side and opening his door a little further for you to come in, “Thank you, you really didn’t have to bring a gift.”

“It’s rude not too,” You scold, tapping Matthew in the arm and forgetting for a second you weren’t talking to Brady.

You pretended like you couldn’t feel it, the way his arms felt like a solid fucking rock and it was getting harder and harder to shove down that silly crush you’ve had since high school. You remember it so clearly, the moment Matthew went from Brady’s brother to just Matthew. You were a freshman, a dorky quiet kid who everyone knew not to mess with exclusively because Brady would kick the shit out of them, and you overheard a few girls in Matthew’s gossiping about how cute he was. Then it hit you, just as Matthew was leaning against his car to drive you home - he was cute. Cute turned into hot quickly, and you spent summer after summer wondering if you’d be bold enough to make a move.

You watched as Matthew pulled out the picture you’d framed for him, one his mother had taken of the three of you as kids. You were at the same ice cream shop you went to after every Blue’s game, chocolate ice cream smiles on your faces.

“You dropped your ice cream right after my mom took this,” Matthew hums, smiling at the memory himself.

“And you gave me yours because you felt bad for me,” You finish, hence the reason you chose that photo in the first place.

“You were crying,” Matthew nods, remembering the way his heart broke when he saw tears well up in your eyes. Even then, Matthew was a protector, constantly defending the people he held close to his heart, “Brady wouldn’t even share his… speaking of, isn’t there a huge rager you could be at right now?”

“Something about a party at my ex boyfriend’s doesn’t sound fun to me at all,” You sigh, hoping you wouldn’t have to explain it any further.

You didn’t have a boyfriend anymore.

It was all Matthew could process, his brain malfunctioning because he couldn’t believe it. Matthew gave you a sympathetic smile, “Let’s crack that bottle open then?”

You agreed, following Matthew into his yard to sit out by his fire pit, an early summer breeze making St. Louis unseasonably cold. He came back with two glasses, and you tried simply to ignore that his hands were big enough to hold both glasses in one, “So, Brady’s at a party at your ex-boyfriend’s place and you’re not mad at him at all?”

“I can’t be mad at Brady,” You explain, pouring yourself a glass of wine that was just a bit too big, “He doesn’t know what happened.”

“I thought you had no secrets,” Matthew questions, knowing that Brady knew everything about you and you were the same way. You turned your attention to the glass, swirling it in your hand while you seemed to shut down under Matthew’s gaze, “Y/N… it’s me, you know you can tell me.”

“It’s really embarrassing,” You whisper, “He cheated on me…”

“That’s not your fault,” Matthew scoffs, throwing an arm around your shoulders, “Why didn’t you tell-”

“He told me it was because the girl he was hooking up with was better in bed than me,” You whisper, Matthew closing his mouth immediately. He took a deep breath, his fingers scratching against your scalp while he looked straight ahead, “Please don’t tell Brady.���

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Matthew nods, his bottom lip between his teeth, “You’re perfect, and if he doesn’t see that he can go fuck himself.”

“What if he’s right?” You ask, taking a gulp of your drink. Matthew knew what road you were headed towards, one that was going to leave you insecure about this for the rest of your life if Matthew didn’t choose his next words carefully.

“He’s not,” Matthew shakes his head, hopping off the outdoor sofa you were on and kneeling down in front of you, “And you don’t need some douchebags opinion to make yourself feel good.”

“Would you sleep with me?” You ask, Matthew’s hand that had been rubbing your thighs gently stopped. You craved the validation, and a part of you always wondered if you had a shot with Matthew. If you were both able to drown out the noise from your friends and family, would he want you? Matthew’s hand crept up to your cheek, his thumb tracing your lip. You looked at him like this was the most important question he’d ever have to answer, and like if he said yes your lips would be on his, “And tell me I’m good.”

Matthew shut his eyes, running every possible scenerio knowing all of them include him fucking this up and hurting your feelings, but he couldn’t stop himself from trying. His lips ghosted over yours, stubble rough against your skin, “You’re sure about this?”

“Please,” You pout, not even bothering to give Matthew your best sexy face. You’d faked it enough, a year of trying to be something you weren’t to please some asshole who left for someone else anyways. Matthew’s hands slid on either side of you, his lips against yours and your hands on the back of his neck.

“Inside,” Matthew mutters against your lips, knowing if he didn’t stop himself now his new neighbors would get a show they didn’t ask for. You deserved better than that anyways. You snuck inside, your lips pressing kisses to Matthew’s neck while his arm stayed around your waist until you ended up in his bedroom. The back of your knees hit the edge of the bed, Matthew crawling on top of you, “I cannot believe that asshole let you slip through his fingers like that.”

“Make me forget about him then,” You let out a breath, Matthew smirking against your skin when you lit up that competitive fire he’d always had. You tugged at the bottom of his shirt, Matthew taking the hint and grabbing it from the back of his neck to toss off. Matthew’s hands slid under your shirt, unhooking your bra and swirling his finger around your nipples, pulling a moan from you.

“You even moan pretty,” Matthew could believe it, knowing just how many dreams like this, but really hearing it was something else entirely. Matthew shed your clothes quickly, leaving you just in your panties while he pressed kisses against your skin, murmurs of praise left in their wake.

“Matty,” You whimper, tilting Matthew’s chin up from where it was nestling between your thighs, “No one’s ever made me cum like this before.”

Matthew swore he was going to blow right there. The way your eyes looked into his, a trust that you were giving him that it was becoming clear you’d never given anyone. If it was anyone else, Matthew’s cocky nature would have broken through, a challenge accepted attitude that he couldn’t have with you.

You weren’t nervous but it wasn’t some secret that Matthew got around, and admitting something that seemed as trivial as what you’d told him was a big deal to you. Matthew’s blue eyes were soft, a small smile on his face, “We’ll go slow baby.”

And slow it was, Matthew was patient, trying to figure out what was going to get you off. His tongue was lapping at your core slowly, smirking at the way you squirmed whenever he got close to your clit. Your hands were in his hair, curling his overgrown hair around your fingers. Matthew’s tongue flicked your clit, your soft grip on his curls tighter, “Fuck, sorry-”

“Keep tugging on them,” Matthew groans against you, the vibrations sending a chill up your spine. His fingers were digging into your thighs, undoubtedly leaving a mark to worry about later, but you didn’t care. Matthew was eating your pussy like it was his last fucking meal, growing harder from the way you were moaning his name. You were close, your hips lifting off the bed and Matthew’s hands against your stomach to keep you right where you were. The only sounds echoing through that house were the ones from your orgasm, washing over you while Matthew finally pulled away. His finger swiped your core, sucking your cum off his finger, “Fucking delicious…”

You could feel the heat on your cheeks, holding your arm over your face from Matthew’s praise. He let out a light laugh, pulling your arm down and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “Don’t be insecure, when you’re with me you don’t have to be.”

You didn’t have a second to process his words, the way say with me like this was something meant to last more than a night, because Matthew’s lips were back on yours. Your hand snuck between you, palming him through his sweats and swallowing the groan with your lips, “I want to try something.”

Matthew’s brows raised, letting you push him onto his back without a fight. You’d never been the most confident in the bedroom, and you really never tried anything that wasn’t missionary, but something about Matthew’s praise had your head held high. You grind your hips against him, a smug smile on Matthew’s face, “You’ve never been on top before?”

You shook your head no, biting your lip and waiting for why have you had the most boring sex life imaginable laugh that should have followed. It never came, instead Matthew’s hands gripped your hips and lifted you up so he could kick off his sweats and boxers. His hand fell, searching through his bedside table for a condom, tearing it open with his teeth and rolling it onto his cock. He tapped your clit with the head, his thumb that was still gripping you was rubbing softly against your skin, “Whenever you’re ready babe.”

Matthew watched you sink yourself onto him slowly, biting his lip to stop himself from cumming too soon because this was hotter than anything he could have imagined. All of those fantasies included finding out you were secretly dirty as hell, but finding out you weren’t and the trust you seemed to give Matthew because he’d never done you wrong was even sexier. Matthew’s hands guided your hips slowly, his head thrown back from the pleasure, “Am I doing good?”

“You’re doing fucking wonderful baby,” Matthew groans, grabbing a fistful of your ass. You moan, falling forward and kissing Matthew’s jaw lightly. He threw his arm around your back, fucking up into you at faster pace, “I want you cum again, c’mon.”

“Matty, I-” You whimper, a protest that you didn’t think you had another one in you until your pussy clenched around him. Your legs were shaking, Matthew stopping himself before he got too rough with you. You caught your breath for a second, Matthew pushing your hair away from your face so he could kiss you. His kisses were gentle, a stark contrast from the fact that his cock was still buried inside of you. You tried to move, grind your hips against his to get him off like he’d just done to you, but your hips bucked from the sensitivity.

“Slow down babe,” Matthew hums, his large hand rubbing your back gently, “We’ll get there.”

Getting there wasn’t hard at all. Not after Matthew had you on your back so he could keep fucking you. You looked beautiful, moaning his own name below him like you’d never said anyone’s name like that. Matthew’s head was tucked into your neck, the sounds of his skin slapping against yours filling the room until he finally came with a loud groan.

When you finally came down from the after sex high, a realization washed over you. You’d had sex with your best friend’s brother. The same brother you’d spend years of your life with. Matthew walked into his bathroom, grabbing you a warm washcloth and a clean shirt from his closet. He got back into his room, glancing at the way you were looking around his room with his sheets over your chest unsure of whether or not you should leave. Matthew leans down, pressing a kiss to your lips, “I want you to stay.”

“You don’t have to let me-” You start to protest, a weird feeling in your chest you couldn’t quite describe. You were a relationship type, hook ups weren’t your playing field and you knew Matthew lived by them. You never forgot it either, the way he slugged back a beer and looked Brady and yourself dead in the eyes and told you he swore he wasn’t built to last more than a night. Matthew chuckles, cleaning you up and throwing his shirt over your frame. He laid down next to you, pulling you against his chest and kissing your shoulder.

“I want you to stay here,” Matthew assures you, smiling wide when you tucked yourself into his side.

Hey Matty?

Yeah?

Don’t tell Brady about this.

Secret’s safe with me Y/N.

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines

[x-exo]

Hehe but why would I not do such nice things and reblog your amazing creations like ??? I must share, I must show love

Dhkadnsk I felt that xD and then shortly after we got wonho's comeback and I screamed because oh my gosh yesss!! This song is just flippen amazing, I really love that 80's vibe we are getting (it reminds me of songs my parents listen too from that time) and the dancing. I LOVE how just smooth he is dancing, apparently he wanted to appear like water for the dance and he pulled it off. I'm proud for both boys, they put out amazing works of art that has me both dancing and crying in the club

Exo wise, kyungsoo is amazing like you said, the way he is casual about his solo album talk is making me laugh but be excited like I'm curious what style he will go for? Sehun has a movie coming out soon I think (catboy for the win lol) and lastly chanyeol. Welp it seems to be an exo trend where the boys surprise us with something good and then they say "peace out" lol. This makes me laugh a bit, idk I'm weird cx but while I do wish we could have a bit something more from chanyeol (or him address the chaos from a while back) i hope he will do well at the military! It was going to happen soon for him and soon baekhyun so now nor never right?

Yeah I couldn't send an anon :c asks are on but not anon, not sure if it was a glitch on my end. But for mingyu, its getting a bit more chaotic if you have been catching up (I know you said you are taking a break which i support! I will miss seeing you active but take a break for sure! Your happiness and health is important and this news with mingyu is alot. Come back when ready of course! I'll be here and others as well!) But one thing for sure is pledis DID their job and put out an announcement! They confirmed one of the accusations to be false, they are working on getting things more cleared up and in the meantime mingyu is on a hiatus. Its a good step and I'm guessing for the more series stuff they are getting evidence and talking with everyone they can and put it out like starship did for kihyun. As a mingyu stan I'm happy one part is cleared up BUT this isn't far from being fixed which is what I'm seeing many fans say "oh we should have believed him in the first place" and I am sitting her confused because like no, it isn't? We don't know any of these idols, they are meant to just entertain us with music really as you said. They still need to clear up the first set of comments so I'm happy things are being done, its far from being finished so I'm staying in the middle still. All I know is there's the issue with mistranslations that also are causing problems

Ok i wrote alot I'm so sorry dnakdba but I hope you're doing good!! I may hope off on anon sometime in the future! Dont wanna bother you with shoving myself into your dms lol. Ps fudge kakao m as well

sorry again for taking ages to answer 😔😔 i’ve been away from here for a while but omg thank you again for being so nice :’) 

I’ve been OBSESSED but like OBSESSED with Wonho’s Devil OMG it’s literally one of the best songs that have been released in the last few years HIS MIND ??????? i love it so much wow also CHANGKYUN all his songs are so good and mysterious and sexc and so him i love them so much (all the content i’ve been getting from him these past months... chef’s kiss!!)

Chanyeol is finally in war and Baekhyun is leaving next month! I’m happy they can take a break and focus on other things other than being idols tbh and they’ve prepared things for when they’re away! I’m really looking forward to every 27th of every month omg pcy and his big ass brain! i wonder what’s he prepared! also he’s got a station coming out tomorrow which i’m v excited about (even though sm for some reason won’t give him his well deserved solo but that’s to discuss another day smh...) ALSO DID YOU SEE OBSESSION XIÜMIN???? MY GOD the concept was tailored for him omg i’m so glad he knew we wanted him in there and he delivered!!!! 

As for the mingyu thing...things have been kind of “cleared” out now but i feel weird still idk i’m still waiting for him to say something on the matter tbh idk if it’s ever gonna happen but..yeah but at the same time i miss seventeen and gose so much i hope they come back soon

BUT...

HOSHI

HOSHI!!!!!! omg hoshi ???????? i’m in love with spider and the mv and the concept it suits him so well AND THE CHOREO???? i can’t wait for studio choom and to see him perform it live on music shows (i think he’s going to attend a couple???) he looks so good and seems so happy to be releasing his music! nd also the seventeens hyping him up at any given chance??? we love to see it! 

but anyways i hope you’re doing well too! and hope out of anon whenever you want to ☺️ also we got the songs back!!! yessss but still fuk kakao m for being petty

#ask

[taehyungsgrowl]

’m sorry about this one, I love my boys I just want them to be okay 🥺 ~~~ Duncan couldn’t bring himself to make the call, Nate was clear as day, he doesn’t want to talk to either of them. Maybe it was better to tell her the truth, even if it would be hard to hear.

“So? Is he coming?”

 Y/N asked out as she pulled out plates for their meal.  Duncan walked in and planted a kiss on the top of her head. 

“He..he said he doesn’t want to talk to us anymore”

 he saw a her face fall at the news.

 “Hey, it’s okay, you’ve got me. We’ve got each other..”  

When Duncan reached home that night he decided to move Nate’s box from his car to the back of his closet. He decided he was better off taping it shut than going through the contents and stressing himself out.    — It wasn’t easy for Y/N to hear that Nate  wouldn’t talk to either of them, but Dunc was right, she had him. Having him over was something she hadn’t even realized how much she’d missed.  Their plan to “take things slow” went out the window in just a few nights. It had been nearly a year since the last time they’d been 

together, 

so when things didn’t, uh, 

come together

 like before

, 

she held no ill will.  

“Was that okay? How are you feeling?” 

Duncan asked from beside her. His nerves were starting to creep in, thoughts of what Nate had told him were bubbling up. Self doubt began overtaking his thoughts. What if he wasn’t as good as Nate? What if things were worse than they remembered? What if she hated it so much she broke up with him?  Y/N could feel Duncan beginning to tense up. She grabbed his face to kiss him, 

“I missed you, Dunc. How about a round two, if you’re ready?”

 She said peppering his face until he was smiling as hard as her. While Duncan was out for his run the next morning, Y/N was just trying to find the clothes she’d left with him the year before. He’d said they were in a box somewhere, but when she found the one in his closet. Yes, it had her things in it, but it had Nate’s too. Why did Duncan have a box with all of their pictures-? He must have tried to talk to Nate after their fight.. Nate said he didn’t want to talk anymore, but this seemed like he didn’t want to even think about her. Why didn’t he have the guts to just say this to her face? After all of their time together you would think she at least deserved that. 

—

  Nate spend most of his time trying to block out and forget those last few months. Hookups were difficult, everything reminded him of 

her,

 he had to change things. No more old friends, it’s not like it was hard for him to find someone who wouldn’t have any expectations for him afterwards. He buzzed his hair off, why did they always try to push it back? Nate spent his nights alone for the most part, no matter how late someone was over, they weren’t sleeping there. Not anymore.  Every day was harder than the last. Every day he saw Y/N and Duncan grow closer. She hadn’t tried to call him again, Shepherd had probably given her the box, told her what happened. Nate knew he could have called her, checked in for old times sake.. But she said their time together didn’t mean anything, so why should he give her any more of it. If Y/N was anything, she was persistent, it took nearly a month for her to stop calling and texting Duncan, and a few weeks after that to stop trying to talk to him in class. If she wanted to talk to him, she would have tried already, she wouldn’t have given up on him so easily.  –  Nate knew he’d been neglecting himself, forgetting to take his meds, slogging through the days

. 

He just wanted it to stop, everything to stop, but it wouldn’t. It couldn’t.  Rather than do something reckless, he dropped Maximus off at Y/N’s. Tied him to the porch with a bag of food, everything she’d need to take care of him, and a note. Even if she was still upset about what he’d told Duncan, he knew she’d take good care of his boy.  Nate voluntarily admitted himself to the inpatient psych ward. ‘

It’s just for a couple of weeks, maximum,’ 

he told himself. Just long enough to get his head back on straight, let his meds kick in again, sort himself out..

–

ma’am you made me cry :( 

i meant to have this out earlier this weekend but allergies have been kicking my ass so i’ve been sleeping sm vsjkvhsge yeehaw

–

As Y/N pulled into her driveway, she caught sight of Maximus on her porch. Confusion and worry immediately set in. She hurried out of the car and ran towards the dog. 

I’m sorry. For everything. Please take care of Maxie. Spending a few weeks to get better at St. Anthony’s Hospital.  

Y/N reread the note tied to Maxie over and over. She felt so guilty. Why didn’t Nate reach out to her is he was struggling? 

Why didn’t you check on him? The voice in her head shamed her. 

“Oh, Maxie.” she knelt down and hugged his dog tightly. Maxie whined and let her cry it out. 

After what felt like a long time, she brought him and his thing in. She had to see him. Had to know if Nate was okay. He wouldn’t do this unless things had gotten pretty bad. 

Maximus followed her around the house as she tried to make sense of everything. 

Duncan arrived, carrying in food he’d picked up for them. Y/N sat at the table, head in her hands as she looked down at Nates note again. Maxie began to bark as soon as Duncan opened the door. 

“What’s going on?” worry flashed Duncan’s mind seeing Maximus there. Was Nate there too? Had he been over to apologize to Y/N?

She called Maxie over and looked up at Duncan, tears in her eyes. 

“Baby,” Duncan rushed over, “What’s wrong?” he knelt on the ground and took her hands in his. 

“It’s Nate,” her voice trembled. Duncan looked down at Nate’s dog and back up at Y/N, still not understand. Was he .. was Nate okay?

Y/N couldn’t continue to explain without her voice giving out so she handed the note for Duncan to read. 

“It’s my fault.” she wiped at her tired eyes with the back of her sleeves. Duncan could tell she’d been crying for a while by how red and irritated her eyes were. 

“C’mere,” Duncan stood and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. 

Duncan didn’t know what to say. What could he say? He knew Y/N was beating herself up for this and he knew it wasn’t her fault. Part of him wanted to blame Nate for making her feel bad - but he knew that wasn’t right. 

“He’s getting help because he thinks he needs it, Y/N. It’s not your fault.” he looked into her eyes, taking his thumb to wipe her tears. 

“I know you still care about him. And you know he still trusts you.” Duncan looked down at Maxie at their feet. “Sit down, babe.” he kissed her head again and helped her sit. 

“I should have known he wasn’t okay.” she looked down at the table idly tracing patterns into the wood. 

Duncan wasn’t sure how to feel. Even now Nate was still holding the cards in their relationship. 

“He didn’t wanna talk to us, babe.” Duncan sighed.��“Look, why don’t we have dinner and try to relax a little and tomorrow morning we can see what we can find out.” he glanced at his watch, “Besides, it’s late now and you won’t get any answers tonight.”

That night, Y/N asked Duncan to stay at her place. Far too sad to be alone. He held her close that night with Maxie resting on her other side. She dozed off to sleep, softly petting his fur.

-

Nate looked out the narrow window of his temporary room. He instinctively tried to run his hands through his hair, but when he was met with his buzzed head, he let out a deep sigh. 

He just wanted to feel like himself again. 

He got ready for bed, taking his medication, brushing his teeth, changing into a pair of fresh sweats. He laid in his too small bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

He’d put everyone’s feelings before his own for so long; he need help focusing on himself. 

Nate’s mind started to wander when that started? Was it when he resigned any potential he could have with Y/N by making Duncan tell her how he felt? Was it before that when he settled to be Y/N’s friend when he wanted more? 

Maybe neither of that - maybe it was a slow progression that led to it. Thinking about it now didn’t help. He tossed and turned most of the night.

He missed his bed. Missed Maxie.

He felt his stomach drop realizing it was only the first night. 

Nate closed his eyes and tried to think of happy memories, but all the ones that came to mind involved Y/N. 

He wanted to be able to be happy on his own. 

#duncan x dumb!reader #dumb!reader #duncan x dumb!reader x nate #nate #duncan shepherd #submission

[blueberryraindrops]

Blueberry’s Ultimate T-Rated TUA Masterlist

KEY

Fics are organised alphabetically (articles e.g. ‘the’ will not count)

Download links are EPUB files only

authors can feel free to send me a msg if they want their fics’ download link taken down

Regular updates can be expected as long as I remain in the fandom

Last Update: 14/10/2020

Other Masterlists: All Fics; G-Rated; M-Rated; E-Rated

FANFICTION

☁︎ another cog in the murder machine by Ford_Ye_Fiji { T }

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Five finally gets the breakdown he deserves

☁︎ Blood like Lemonade by Ford_Ye_Fiji { T }

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Hunting high and low to seek revenge, Brand new moral code, got made reluctant renegade. Leaving empty souls when he avenged, Evil spirits flowed he drank the blood like lemonade.

Five's sordid past comes to light in, quite possibly, the most unpleasant way

☁︎ Details [Series] by VeteranKlaus { T }

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The last time Klaus saw his siblings was at Allison and Patrick's wedding. A lot had changed since then; including the not-so-accidental, irreversible loss of his sight.

There's no time to tell them that, though. Not with the return of their long-presumed-dead brother and the impending apocalypse. Plus, it doesn't matter. He's got Ben as a good seeing-eye ghost.

☁︎ do androids dream of electric sheep? by the_crownless_queen { T }

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Number Four is crying, and Grace was made to care for those children.

In which Grace was created to protect the children of the Academy. Even, as it turns out, from their father.

☁︎ don't waste your time (or time will waste you) by rosewitchx { T }

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He was an old man. He is sixteen. Ben dies next week. How does he know that? “I think I broke it,” Five stutters, and for the first time in her short life Vanya sees absolute terror in his eyes.

Or, Five travels back again. Something goes wrong.

☁︎ Fighting (Pre)Determinism by chibi_tantei { T / WIP }

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They go back in time, determined to rewrite their own family history. Only problem is, only one of them looks the proper age to get near their younger selves.

Or, six months after Five stormed out, determined to time travel, he returns home. His siblings are happy to have him back, but he's acting differently...

(Or, Five goes undercover as himself. Twice the siblings should make saving the world easier, right? Yet somehow, he's only now realizing how many issues his family has to fix.)

☁︎ Five and Dave's Life Changing (Life Saving) Field Trip by neuronary { T }

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The little boy, who Dave could now see was not as little as he’d first thought, shoved a tin mug at him. “Drink this.”

Dave drank. It tasted sickly sweet and slightly citrus-y. “Who are you?”

“Five.” The boy’s scowl deepened at Dave’s confusion. “Klaus’ brother.”

Or, Five saves Dave's life to stop Klaus from moping. From Dave's perspective, a very grouchy, sleep-deprived twelve-year-old kidnaps him and he finds it much more entertaining than he should.

☁︎ haven't you heard of meditation? by rosesareredvioletsareblue { T }

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"Klaus, you have a piece of glass sticking out of your neck!"

Klaus felt for the glass, wincing as he found it.

"Oh yeah. Fun." It took all of Five's willpower not to throttle him.

☁︎ Hidden Variables Theory, The by siriuspiggyback { T }

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Something has disturbed the space-time continuum, and it's up to Five to figure out what it is.

With a bit of luck, and a lot of alcohol, he might even manage to do it before he snaps and murders his siblings.

☁︎ haven't you heard of meditation? by rosesareredvioletsareblue { T }

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"Klaus, you have a piece of glass sticking out of your neck!"

Klaus felt for the glass, wincing as he found it.

"Oh yeah. Fun." It took all of Five's willpower not to throttle him.

☁︎ Hidden Variables Theory, The by siriuspiggyback { T }

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Something has disturbed the space-time continuum, and it's up to Five to figure out what it is.

With a bit of luck, and a lot of alcohol, he might even manage to do it before he snaps and murders his siblings.

☁︎ i'm gonna be here til i'm nothing (but bones in the ground) by iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid { T }

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Someone definitely just punched him in the chest, right? That’s the reason for that feeling? Or that last batch of pills had something seriously off-label mixed into them. Because there’s no way. There’s no fucking way.

He squeezes his eyes shut until dots burst behind his eyelids, but when he opens them, the hallucination doesn’t go away.

“… Five?”

☁︎ if the sky comes falling down by synchronicities { T }

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The equations are still wrong.

In 2002, Number Seven wonders why her siblings are acting odd.

(Or, the post-finale “Vanya doesn’t remember the time travel” fic)

☁︎ If You're Different And You Know It (you're not alone) by M3zzaTh3M3z { T }

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Five was different. He’d always known. Different from most people, what with his freakish birth, powers and unconventional upbringing, all that old news. And different from his siblings. He was smarter. His powers were stronger. And he’d never picked a name. All that was old news too. But there was something else that separated him from the rest, something he didn’t know how to put a finger on, how to categorize, analyse, understand. Five didn’t like not understanding. It was probably Klaus that made him first notice something was off.

☁︎ Is the sadness everlasting? (love, I think it is) by ArmedWithMyComputer { T }

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A look into what Klaus' newly discovered ability could mean for the siblings.

Diego could feel his whole body trembling as he faced the ghosts, only able to take shallow breaths as he struggled to process the true horror of what he was seeing.

And then they started howling.

The sound pierced though his stupor and forced him to his knees instantly. It was like nothing Diego had ever experienced before, and he was consumed with the intensity and overwhelmed by a deep chilling fear. It felt as though his mind had been taken over and all he could hear was the shrieks of grief, more intense than any emotion he had ever felt.

☁︎ It Does(n't) Matter by MYSTERYstew { T }

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It’s a familiar feeling, being lifted up by Luther and tossed around like he weighs nothing (to Luther he certainly does), it was a favorite move of Luther’s as a child. Nostalgia is not what Five feels, he’s too busy flailing as Luther throws him over the railing.

or, Five fails a jump

☁︎ Just One Minute by willowhisperer { T }

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Five holds up his end of the deal, soaked in blood. The Handler decides to toy with him a little while longer.

Maybe it's revenge, maybe she's riding the high of her shiny new position as head of the Commission.

Really, she just wants to win, once and for all.

☁︎ Lessons 'verse [Series] by Soulykins { T }

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Five was maybe four years old when he figured out that he was pretty much ride or die for his siblings. He was also four when he figured out that in the Umbrella Academy, you could never let Reginald Hargreeves figure out what you loved lest he use it against you. There was safety in aloof indifference, more than could be found anywhere else under their roof.

Five times Five Hargreeves protected his siblings the best ways he could, and the one time he failed.

☁︎ Lethe by shoelaces { T / WIP }

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Le·the | A river in Hades whose waters cause drinkers to forget their past.

Or: Five loses his memories instead of Vanya, and it falls to his siblings to raise a superpowered teenager in the 1960s, all whilst preserving their own new lives and preventing yet another apocalypse.

☁︎ Like an abyss by fridayyy { T }

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For the second time, Five has to (gets to?) grow up.

☁︎ Like Oxygen by sevansa { T }

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Klaus's powers may be a bit more extensive than just seeing the dead, he's not sure what to do about that.

OR

The one where Klaus's power is not ghosts, but souls and that makes a hell of a difference.

☁︎ Mellow Rays of a Departing Sun [Series] by Emotionally_Detached (Yeah_Toast) { T }

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He makes it. He time travels and makes it through another apocalypse. He makes it, but his siblings don't.

His siblings don't make it, except he's in his own childhood and they're still here, alive and thirteen and he can fix things.

He will fix things

☁︎ most dangerous place in the world, the [Series] by Princess_Sarcastia { T }

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"Grace is the third model in a series created by and for Sir Reginald.  She has access to the knowledge obtained by her predecessors in their time assisting Sir Reginald in his many endeavors.

All three of them were primarily designed as protectors.  Do no harm, just as Mr. Asimov said!

But Grace is slightly different."

[priority one: protect the children]

☁︎ New Life, A by BirdInTheCave { T }

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Allison had convinced Ray to come back to 2019 with her and her family and after a month of being cooped up in the house with the other Hargreeves plus their own unconventional guests, Ray suggests they spend some time alone. He's still struggling to fully comprehend the new world he's stepped into but he's determined that with Allison at his side he can get used to anything. Allison can't find a reason to say no. She should have said no.

Luckily for her, Five will always be there for his family, now that he's back.

☁︎ Not with me by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden) { T }

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They never asked if any of that blood was his. Five is bleeding, and he is also giving up.

AU to 2X07, with hurt Five because after all that boy has been through...

☁︎ Number Five | And The Things that Make Him Tick [Series] by Kraeyola { T }

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It's only been two weeks for him.

AKA: Five succumbs to two weeks worth of badly cared for (physical and emotional) injuries, and ends up extremely feverish.

☁︎ On My Terms by CivilBores { T }

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“I did what you asked,” he tells her. “Now, the briefcase.”

Her eyebrows raise in mock-surprise, red lips curling up her face in a sadistic smile.

“You didn’t think that was all, did you?” she asks.

AU: The Handler gives Five a slightly different deal.

☁︎ Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale { T }

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Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number Five’s parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening.

☁︎ rude awakening by Soulykins { T / WIP }

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When Five wakes up, he just knows someone is in the room with him. Of course, even he didn't except to come face to face with the Handler who he'd thought to be very very dead. And he especially didn't expect her to break into his room and watch him sleep while waiting for him to wake up.

It's very fortunate that Diego and Klaus show up to wake him up and take offense to some random lady in the same room as their very uncomfortable, very thirteen-year-old brother.

☁︎ Screaming in the Face of Communication by papayaromantic { T }

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It's not that he doesn't want to pay attention to Five, just that he seriously can't hear what the boy is saying past the wailing of the torn apart woman in front of him.

☁︎ shaking like I shook before by Anonymous { T }

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Five tries to deal with it alone, until he learns that he doesn’t have to.

☁︎ skirts and sweaters by slightlyworriedhuman { T }

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"I don't want to be a ‘cute little schoolboy’ anymore, alright?” Five snapped. For some reason, the thought of himself as a schoolboy was enough to make his skin prickle. Was it the implication that he was younger than the rest of them, less mature despite his life?

...Yeah, it was definitely that. Absolutely.Five wants a change in wardrobe. His siblings are more than happy to help.

☁︎ small changes by calypso42 { T }

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“I need to ask you something.” He set down the large stack of books he was carrying beside him. Klaus glanced at a few of the titles - Consciousness in the Brain - Memory & the Role of the Hippocampus - Soul vs. Matter: A Comprehensive Look at the Origins of Sentience - and grimaced.

“Are you… having an existential crisis, or something? Because I am possibly the worst person you could go to for that.”

...

When Five goes to Klaus to ask him something about his powers, Klaus doesn’t think much of it. At least, until he realizes that what he thought was simple curiosity was actually deeper than that, leading to a revelation about Five himself.

☁︎ take shelter by aloneintherain { T }

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AU where the apocalypse doesn’t follow the Hargreeves to the 1960s. Without the threat of nuclear annihilation hanging over their heads, the siblings can take the time to be a family again.

Until they find out that the Handler has been blackmailing Five.

☁︎ this is a bad town (for such a pretty face) by luciimariiellii { T }

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Five’s gone. (How the Hargreeves cope, and how they reunite.)

☁︎ to unexplain the unforgivable by darkviverna { T }

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Ability to see the dead and having a temporal assassin for a brother don’t mix well.

☁︎ Too Much Too Little by 1spideyson { T }

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Five says nothing on the ride back, just gently presses the tips of thin fingers to his eyes and temples like his head is a new instrument he’s learning to play. Like he’s searching for the right notes.

Diego tries not to cast too many worried glances the boy’s way, but when Five crawls into Diego’s bed, shaking and grey, he can’t stop himself from speaking up.

A look at Five and Diego's relationship through a h/c lens.

☁︎ Too Old To Be So Young by KaseyBeth { T }

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Five winced loudly, pushing his head off the floor to see bright red smeared across his chest and stomach; crimson soaked into his shorts, running down his leg. His head fell back against the ground dizzyingly, and he groaned as someone touched the wound, biting his bottom lip as he tried to stay conscious. The end of life, of everything, was in three days; they didn’t have time for this, he didn’t have time for this. A bullet wound, a stupid bullet wound and all that stupid concern and worry, was just going to slow them down. There wasn’t time for mistakes, or hiccups, or rest and recovery. It was the end of the fucking world.

☁︎ traumaversary by WeWalkADifferentPath { T }

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It follows him like an unscratched itch. Under his skin, over his body, around his energy, like a mosquito that won’t leave him the fuck alone.

April 1st. April 1st. April 1st.

(A character study of Five, with some inevitable family feels, in honour of March 24th).

☁︎ Unexpected Future, An by aseies { T / WIP }

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“I’m sure you’re looking forward to finding a way back to your own time as soon as possible,” Nedzu said. “I want you to know that U.A. will do everything in its power to help you achieve that goal. Time travel is a complicated equation to solve, but I’m sure if we put our heads together we’ll come up with something!”

Five raised a skeptical eyebrow. “And you’re just going to do that out of the goodness of your heart? I’m not even old enough for high school yet.”

“Well, we’re all heroes for a reason, no? What good are we if we can’t help a single child in need?” Nedzu pointed out with a pleasantly neutral smile as he sipped his tea.

OR: Instead of time traveling into the apocalypse, thirteen-year-old Five Hargreeves teleports in the middle of the USJ fight.

He gets a couple of new dads out of it.

☁︎ walls kept tumbling down, the by Ingu { T }

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It started small.

There was a nagging ache in his chest, phantom pain from where the bullets had pierced his flesh, in the overwritten timeline that never will be.

(the one where rewinding time doesn't miraculously resolve mortal gunshot wounds)

☁︎ We All Deserve Second Chances (but don't repeat your mistakes) by justarandomword, wolvesandnovas { T }

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Time-travelling gave Ben a second chance at life. He's not about to let Reginald Hargreeves ruin that for him and Klaus.

(a.k.a. Reginald takes Klaus' dog tags and the aftermath.)

☁︎ we didn't choose this life, we're just (kind of) living it [Series] by noodlerdoodler { T / Partially WIP }

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Five couldn’t move, standing by and watching complacently, as his younger brother grabbed him roughly by the front of his sweater. It was like he was watching a play he wasn't apart of, yet that was definitely his small body being tossed over the balcony. No doubt, Luther thought that he would just jump out of the way. He'd always jumped out of the way, sometimes without even meaning to, but now visions of a world on fire flashed through his head as his body plummeted towards the ground. Seemingly, he was tumbling through the air in slow motion and absentmindedly, Five wondered if this was his life flashing before his eyes. All he saw was the desolate world he’d left behind weeks ago.

When Five hit the ground, it was with a sickening cracking noise.

“Oh my god, Luther, what have you done?”

☁︎ with two arms by karcheri { T }

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What it comes down to, really, is that Five had been too eager for results. Once it became clear to him that there was a connection between his powers and his energy level the obvious course of action, as he saw it, was to test this information. The hypothesis was this: higher energy levels = stronger powers and the easiest way to get more energy is to eat more. Pretty simple stuff. Too simple.

or Five times that Five starves himself and one time that he gets called out on it.

☁︎ you from yesterday by questors (sieges) { T }

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The difference between who his siblings once were and who they are now.

#tua #the umbrella academy #masterlist #fic rec #blueberry's fic recs

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

1) Ducktales 2) Drakepad 3) Della (even if i was only supposed to send one, at least you have options for what you want to answer ^^)

Ducktales

Favorite character: Drake!

Least Favorite character: M*rk B**ks

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): drakepad, fenro,dellumbra,dellene, three gay caballeros!

Character I find most attractive: seleeeeene!! and della 

Character I would marry: frank’s alluded to morgana coming to dt17 and im staying hopeful so...magic wife

Character I would be best friends with: launchpad bc he’s everyone’s friend!!

a random thought: its a good show watch it @ my non dt followers!!

An unpopular opinion: change is good just because they changed your fav character from the old one doesn’t mean the new one and the old cant coexist and be loved by everyone w/o any fighting!

My Canon OTP: there’s no real canonical ships except maybe scroldie? which i do like even if i constantly battle between gay scrooge and lesbian goldie and then back to bi for both

My Non-canon OTP: drakepad hands down!

Most Badass Character: ms. beakley!!!

Most Epic Villain: lunaris was p formidable imo!

Pairing I am not a fan of: besides the obvious incest (this includes webby and the triplets yall!!)/pedophilia...c/rackbea/ks is the ship name i think for fenton and m*rk? 

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): hmm not really thinking of anything atm except ig that it feels like there should be more about donald in the terms of him post moonvasion (but like obviously we arent that far so it might get expanded on so thats why i dont wanna concretely say he was “screwed up”)

Favourite Friendship: all the kids being friends makes me 🥺🥺🥺

Character I most identify with: drake and huey probably!!

Character I wish I could be: an interesting question that i don’t quite have an answer for yet!

Drakepad

When I started shipping them: well i kept seeing cute fanart of them before i even got into dt and after i saw the hype for dwd i explored more, found drakepad, but didnt REALLY ship it til i gave dwd a try and was like “ok wow the fans werent exaggerating the gay huh”

My thoughts: its such a good ship i want it desperately to become canon i’ve never wanted a ship to become canon so badly before this is THE OTP for me.

What makes me happy about them: they care about each other sm and are already a family and are always trying to make the other be a better version of themselves

What makes me sad about them: that nagging negative feeling that theyll only be implied or never shown beyond platonic

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: tbh i can’t think of anything bc all the fics ive read of them are super sweet!! especially @/mighty-ant  @/bassiter’s fics  @/taylorthegiant@/transdarkwingduck(and some others but idk their tumblr urls)

Things I look for in fanfic: mutual love and understanding (also lots of angst AND PINING GOD THE PIIINIIIING!!!!) its also really great if gosalyns in there too bc then fambily.......

My wishlist: canon kiss on screen WHERE YOU CAN SEE IT NO IMPLICATIONS ITS BLATANT LIKE RUPPHIRE WEDDING! ALSO THEY ADOPT GOSALYN AND SING LITTLE GIRL BLUE TOGETHER AND OOOGH!!!!

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i lowkey like fenton with either! 

My happily ever after for them: get married and adopt gosalyn and then grow old together :’)

Della

How I feel about this character: she’s badass and complete wife...

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: selene and penumbra! 

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: i really love how much she loves her kids she wants to be a good mom and i love it ;u;

My unpopular opinion about this character: she deserves her time to shine screw what my uncle says she ain’t annoying! we’ve had a bajillion years of donald and della only made a select few appearances in some old comics no one really knows about so!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: she faces her fear of not being a good mom and just growing and adjusting and facing what she went through for over a decade

Favorite friendship for this character: donald and i really want for us to see her and gyro itd be hilarious

My crossover ship: um...idk if crossover since she might appear but...morgana x della? i would think morg would be the same age or only a couple of years older in the reboot! 

Thanks for the ask(s)!!

Send me a fandom, ship, or character!

#asks #answered #ducktales #ducktales 17 #dt #dt17 #darkwing duck #dwd #drakepad #drfennel

[hyunjin-is-life]

NCT LONG POST ALERT!:

So I've been thinking about NCT tonight a lot. Had a massive long talk with my friend about them too. I've been a fan since debut! Like I saw the 7th sense happen, i saw fire truck happen, and chewing gum. Now granted, I didn't stan them like I did after limitless happened. But still! And they are one of my ultimate groups now ! I have at least one version of all their Korean relases too! (Take over the moon is still on its way to me). So in honor of my uwu feels, I thought I'd talk about the members, well my biases.

Haechan: My number one bias. My baby boy, our full sun. My 127 bias and my Dream bias, and any other group they may put him in. He is so wonderful it's a wonder it took me so long to fall in love with him. Ever since Go this boy has been wrecking my world and I'm so on board! He has the voice of an angel! He's a V I S U A L . And he can freaking dance! Took them til CHAIN to let him have the FRONT But I digress. He's my world. My sassy boy💕

Ten: Where do you even start? WayV bias. What did i tell my friend earlier...That prize of a man we to bias speaks 4 languages, can sing, rap, dance and is just the most good looking person ever, he's not even human. He's not Thai or Chinese. He's an alien. About sums it up I think, yeah? I mean he's like a mystical creature.

Lucas: Is NCT U even real anymore? But anyways, Boss was so lit! He just like waltzed in and took over! Like Its me, I'm here. He's this giant boy who makes my heart all a flutter, second bias in WayV. Also he kills it in Super M. YOU GO BABY!

Also I would like to just name some honorable mentions of members that, even though i don't bias (or they are second biases), I feel need recognition because i have such love for them. Now granted I love all 21 of these boys but that would just he so long omg.

NCT Dream: Jaemin and Renjun. I love these two. I'm so happy to have Jaemin back and happy with his members the last year or so now. He looks amazing! The pink hair is my fave right now. *insert 😶 because of The Dream Show* and Renjun my fluffy boy. He works so hard and deserves better. All the Chinese members do. #moreloveforchinesemembers! I love all my dreamies though💕

Nct 127/U: Johnny, Mark and Jungwoo. My Johnny!! Oh I just adore him. He is the whole reason I got as deep into NCT as I did. Come through in that Limitless music video! Tall boy, english boy, pretty boy lol just all around lovable and talented boy. Mark! How do you not talk about Mark? The debut king! All the way from Canada here to please and be seen in every group possible. I miss him with my dreamies. But what can you do. And my Jungwoo 💕 he is such a VISUAL. He's so talented. It's no wonder he was added to 127. He's so fluffy and just sweet. Please love my boy. Love 127.

WayV: ummmm everyone else in WayV! But especially WinWin and Xiaojun. I love wayv. I just yes. They are so amazing like. They out here making others look bad! No offense. WinWin. This boy should drop a solo song complete with mv full of dance moves you wish you could do! Does anyone remember that video where he does that backflip splits thing or whatever? It feels like sm intentionally forgets him. Finally a Chinese group and he still not getting lines like how. Xiaojuuuuun! My man. One of the newbies. Killing it with this blonde hair. He's also my second bias in WayV. Yeah i said it, I double second bias him and Lucas. Did you see take off? Or anything? Like he is amazing. Please love the China line! (Plus chenle too)

I'll stop talking now lol

STAN TALENT. STAN NCT.

#nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #nct wayv #taeyong #taeil #doyoung #jaehyun #Johnny #yuta #jungwoo #Mark #haechan #donghyuck #WinWin #jeno #jaemin #renjun #chenle #jisung #ten #Lucas #kun #Xiaojun #yangyang #hendery