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thescorpioracer · 3 years

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Sen Çal Kapımı 1 - Episode Recap

To be honest, this series of posts is mostly going to be a fashion roast. But DISCLAIMER! I really do love this show and Turkish TV in general, it’s just my preferred mode of media analysis is to pick things apart. 😂And I need everyone to know that I am very pro-women, and believe people should be able to dress how they want and not be judged for it or be looked down upon for it. But oh my god this wardrobe department/costumer needs to be STOPPED. I also have zero credentials to be talking about fashion, but will that stop me?

I’m going to make these posts assuming you’ve watched the show, and just comment on whatever comes up. There will be spoilers. Let’s go!

We start off with a voiceover from Eda Yıldız, an A+ romcom trope. (It wasn’t until my rewatch that I remembered that Eda used to do VOs at random intervals, and I’m kind of glad she stopped tbh.) She is a strong woman who wants to get her education and become a landscape architect/designer. She was all set to do that until- dun dun dun! - Serkan Bolat destroyed everything.

Check out that dart board of a man (and this is the only time we see that photo there). And these outfits are probably the most normal and reasonable clothes she wears in the show. She’s a beautiful young woman, who was a college student, and now works outdoors as a florist. 10/10 outfit.

Of course that transitions us into an epic slomo of Serkan exiting his private jet. He of course begins to berate his assistant on the phone in a way a friend described as reminiscent of The Devil Wears Prada.

@teamnick‘s commentary back when she first started the show.

Serkan returns to his office for the first time in 2 months after working on business deals in London. Chaos ensues: Miranda Priestly is baaaaaaack.

See... here we have some good fashion choices! We meet the girls for the first time, while they try to sneak off to their graduation without making Eda feel bad that she won’t be receiving her diploma. Melek “Melo” is dressed in a sweet dress with a bold, romantic color, which captures her personality perfectly. Ceren, the rich daughter from a family of lawyers, looks a bit more high-fashion. The dress is short but it has long sleeves and no cleavage so it works out to be chic and elegant. Fifi is unapologetically herself with her full-black, punk wardrobe. Eda is again dressed in a pretty, but casual outfit. Nicely put together for her lower-middle-class lifestyle and her job as a florist.

Enter: the plot device to get our protagonists together. Serkan’s face says it all.

We are then introduced to the main couple’s respective cars. Serkan has his 2020 BMW (though the show blocks out the copyrighted branding) while Eda’s beat up SUV is clearly unreliable. What’s that? Another plot device being introduced? I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Also, I just noticed this, but for someone as uptight as Serkan, I’m surprised at how fun his suit jacket lining is. If I’m not mistaken the pattern is of a bunch of rainbow fish. #Snazzy, but they seem out of character?

Plot highlights:

Eda learns she can come back to school and finish her final year, but she’s lost her scholarship and will have to pay. She can’t.

Serkan gives his talk at the graduation (?)-- Is his talk just for architecture students? If so, why are Ceren, Fifi, and Melo there? We’ll never know. I know, I know... it’s all for the ~plot~

Eda calls Serkan out in front of everyone for taking away the scholarship that she earned from his company, Art Life. He is confused but unrepentant. She refuses to tell him her name.

She tries to deface his car with lipstick after keying the side (we never hear about the damage to his car after that). He catches her and wants to call the police, so she impulsively handcuffs them together with the plot devices from Selin’s wedding invitation sitting on his passenger seat.

They then have to go to Serkan’s urgent business meeting with an out-of-town client. Eda drives while they’re handcuffed together. Bickering ensues.

What is this? Foreshadowing? Symbolism?? Eda’s last name “Yıldız” is the Turkish word for “star” so... file that away for later.

One of my favorite parts about watching Turkish dramas is the experience of trying to decipher the fan translations. Add to the fact that Turkish only has 1 pronoun *chef’s kiss*

Eda refuses to take the elevator to the 15th floor (we’ll learn about her claustrophobia later). Serkan is equally as stubborn, saying she owes him for screwing up his day. But he has met his match in Eda with regards to stubbornness. They take the stairs.

More highlights:

First instance of fake dating - they need to hide the handcuffs from his client so Eda pretends she’s his girlfriend and a fellow investor.

The girls track Eda’s phone to the hotel and try to find her by asking around the premises.

Eda charms the client into selling his land to Serkan.

We learn that Serkan is allergic to strawberries and has a lot of health anxiety. He’s a very tightly wound person.

Serkan says “Mashallah,” translator hears 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Engin brings way too many people to open the handcuffs and chaos ensues.

I feel like nothing can do justice to the comedy of 58:45 to 1:00:00 with Fifi using a bobby pin as a lock pick. The dramatic editing is 👌🏼

Leyla gets fired for somehow causing this drama??? And she is so happy to leave that stressful workplace omg, we don’t deserve her 🥺

Serkan and Eda go their separate ways, Eda prepared to never see her enemy again, but of course her phone and purse are still in his car so she has to go to his office at Art Life and confront him again.

Serkan has found out that Whoops, Art Life did cancel the study abroad scholarships to cut costs, but his CFO did it without telling him. And Serkan is pissed, but I think mainly about the fact that Eda did have some (SOME) grounds for yelling at him in public.

Leyla then explains the nonsensical reasoning behind her being fired-but-not-fired and still working. (Spoiler alert: she never goes anywhere and she is my favorite side character to this day).

Eda: “How can I piss Serkan off?” Leyla: “Find a mistake he’s made and he will fixate on it forever. But you won’t find anything.” Eda: “Hold my beer.”

Eda walks into Serkan’s office and his meeting. She gets her purse back and they fight about him not being willing to apologize for ruining her life and education. He refuses and says she owes him an apology for embarrassing him in public (no, dude).

He wants to give her back the scholarship and make it all go away but she rightly tells him that it won’t fix her broken pride from begging the company and her university for a second chance. But somehow her calling him a heartless “Robot” is what gets to him???? And he short-circuits. Eda walks out triumphant.

~dRaMa!~

MEANWHILE

Melo, as well as being a perfume sales girl, also works as a flight attendant and wants Eda to cover her shift (we’ll get into how that doesn’t make sense in a minute)

Eda says no, she’s going to meet her boyfriend, Cenk, who she hasn’t seen in months and has just returned from Italy.

Enter: Selin. Serkan’s ex who he dumped a while ago and is now engaged to the heir of a hotel empire. Serkan doesn’t like this. The two of them grew up together and are set to each inherit 50% of the holding company that Serkan’s father currently runs.

Right away Selin serves us with a gender reveal level color scheme. Personally not a fan. They confirm that Serkan is coming to her engagement party tomorrow.

Meanwhile Eda meets up with Cenk. Her outfit is still reasonable and cute for her character. He looks mildly like a hobo and doesn’t seem to have anything going for him (I know he’s a throwaway character but the two of them really don’t have anything in common).

This creeper keeps staring at them, but Cenk tries to explain it away and says he’s busy and can’t meet her again until the day after tomorrow. Eda is disappointed but accepts this. Creeper girl remains and remains a red flag to viewers, but apparently not to Eda.

Cut to later that evening, and of course our broody main man enjoys astronomy in his free time (???) idk what he’s charting and to what purpose but okay?

Eda finds a mini first aid kit in her purse that Serkan put there before returning it. Queue montage of them treating their respective wrists for handcuff-related injuries. #couplegoals

Of course we also needed a sepia-toned flashback to earlier that day when the handcuffs contrived their faces to get too close together. #romance

Finallyyyyyyy it’s morning again and a new day.

Since Eda can’t see Cenk (good, he’s so boring), she agrees to fill in as a flight attendant for Melo, who’s side job is for a private plane company.

Now. This should not be a thing. Eda was in college to be a landscape architect and now works as a florist for her aunt... Where has she learned any relevant skills to work as a flight attendant?? Presumably nowhere. And I really don’t think a private plane company would be so easygoing about just having a random person fill in to cover for her friend?

But does this show care about that? What do you think...

Also, instead of the standard white shirt, black skirt uniform requirements, the girls decide that this skimpy dress and heels is fine? Hmmm

Also lol @ Melo for assuming that the client who wants jasmine tea and fruit salad is probably a woman. And her telling Eda that the PRIVATE JET COMPANY would in fact have its own tea was very random and unnecessary.

Back at the Bolat house compound, we meet the parents: Aydan and Alptekin. We’ll see them again later. Selin’s engagement party is today.

Meanwhile Eda is just.... being a flight attendant, I guess??? And who could possibly be the passenger she has to take care of? Take a wild guess. Of course it’s Serkan Bolat.

And of course that tiny dress (THAT ALSO HAS A LEG SLIT?? WHY?? I really don’t need to see her vagina) looks very practical and professional... not! (Hande Erçel is a gorgeous human, and the dress looks good on her, don’t get me wrong. BUT THIS IS SITUATIONALLY INCORRECT ATTIRE). Also him just folding his vest and then social distancing from it... K? 😂

Eda panics and doesn’t want Serkan to see her and runs away back to her seat pod thing - Serkan takes issue with his fruit salad for ~plot reasons~ (EDIT: I’ve been informed that it’s because there was a strawberry in his fruit salad and since he’s allergic, of course it needed to be fixed. Why doesn’t the plane have a note of that??) and comes back to find this mystery flight attendant.

Eda is very stressed out about this encounter and is also starting to have a panic attack because, surprise, she’s also claustrophobic.

After Serkan calms her down, they have a cute/civil conversation for the rest of the flight.

When they land, Eda realizes they’re on an island 2h45min away from Istanbul and she isn’t sure what to do with herself (How did she not already know where they were going, as the FLIGHT ATTENDANT??? So may red flags with this private jet company).

Serkan convinces Eda to come with him and she can hang out at the beach while he’s at Selin’s engagement party.

At the engagement party we finally meet Selin’s fiancé Ferit. He’s sweet and non-threatening and clearly insecure about Serkan being Selin’s ex.

This dress/skirt outfit Selin is wearing isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t scream rich socialite to me. Anything with feathers seems... a bit tacky/too showy? Like someone pretending to be rich? Idk, this outfit isn’t one I’m going to really take a stand on.

Does this engagement party warrant being a 2h45 min flight away? No. They try to explain it away as the couple wanting to have something small and private, even though they also invite the press?? But okay whatever, as long as Serkan and Eda cross paths again, I suppose.

Kaan Karadağ has been mentioned a couple times in passing, but now we finally meet our “villain.” Ferit’s friend, and Serkan & Selin’s childhood acquaintance, who has it out for Serkan bc he somehow bankrupted Kaan’s dad? Idk and I don’t really care but tl;dr they’re enemies.

Another thing I love about Turkish dramas is the censoring. Like, they’ll allow alcohol to be on screen, but they won’t say the word and they’ll just blur out the bottle and any liquid that we’d assume is alcoholic 😂

In the evening, Serkan is tired and wants to leave and Ferit snidely jokes about how Serkan is too picky to have a fiancé of his own. Serkan flashes back to 1 entire day ago when he and Eda pretended to be dating at his business meeting, and says that actually he is engaged to someone and then peaces out.

Serkan finds Eda on the beach, and they are preparing to leave when a crowd of people (Selin, Ferit, and Kaan mainly), arrive to get a peek at Serkan’s new “fiancé.” Eda very reluctantly plays along (good thing she has that unnecessarily sexy “work” dress to help her look the part) and Serkan notices that for the first time ever, Selin is jealous of another woman. #drama

After they finally escape the crowd, Serkan makes an annoyed Eda an offer: Pretend to be his fiancé for the 2 months leading up to Selin��s wedding so he can get them to break up and prevent Ferit marrying into the company. In return, he will pay all the fees to help her complete her last year of studies in Italy.

Eda refuses, stating that she doesn’t want anything from him, and besides she has a boyfriend (Sure Jan; Cenk is such a joke). They have it out and then fly back to Istanbul. But of course the gossips at the engagement have spread the news of Serkan’s new woman so the paparazzi corner them at the airport when they land.

So glad that we got to see this random mechanic find out the news (???)

They escape the cameras and Serkan takes her home, saying that Art Life has a press conference tomorrow, and she should come so he can save face and tell everyone that she was his assistant accompanying him for work to the party. Eda agrees.

It should also be mentioned that Serkan still doesn’t know her name at this point?? She refused to tell him and Engin still hasn’t sent him the names of the scholarship candidates so it’s a bit miraculous that their relationship was at all believable.

The next day, Cenk wants to meet but Eda has to go to the press conference. The girls come too for whatever reason, and Melo is convinced that Cenk wants to propose. Eda just lets that fantasy take hold (why tho?), and Cenk shows up unexpectedly right before the press conference and takes Eda into the nearby hotel’s cafe so they can talk.

Eda seems ready for a proposal (they haven’t seen each other or really communicated in months??) but Cenk wants to break up. Eda is shocked (???) but then Cenk mentions that he has a new girlfriend from Italy that he adores, and oh by the way, it’s the creepy girl from the other night who also happens to be here right now?

Okay fine, I guess??? Cenk: “She’s doesn’t speak Turkish” Girlfriend: *clearly a Turkish actress*

Eda is upset that he brought his jealous girlfriend with him to break up with her and says something about how actually, she’s seeing Serkan Bolat now (maybe it’s just me being someone who doesn’t follow tabloids, but are business people really that popular in every day society where everyone knows who they are?). Cenk laughs at Eda, saying that everyone wants to be with Serkan Bolat, and that she’s bluffing.

Eda makes an impulsive decision, and walks away, over to where Serkan has started the press conference. And seals their fate as fake dating in the public eye.

Queue confetti. No really.

And there we have it. That’s the episode!

In all seriousness, it’s a pretty great pilot, especially for a romcom. It hits all the right beats, includes enough tropes, and tells us a lot about what we should expect in the episodes going forward. And no matter how much I make fun of it, I really do enjoy this show! It’s been such a nice distraction from Current Events. I’ve spent a lot of time watching these episodes just saying “oh my god” out loud to myself as I watch all of the cute/romantic gestures that give me a lot of second hand embarrassment (I forget that PDA makes me kinda uncomfortable 😂).

There wasn’t actually that much terrible fashion in this episode, which I didn’t notice until my rewatch. If I continue with this series of posts, I’m hoping they’ll end up being less plot-centric, and more about the situationally inappropriate outfits and strange subtitling choices.

See you next time?

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missjosie27 · 4 years

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Year 3 Part 7- Keeper of the Keys

Hey, guys. I'm sorry this update took so long. Shit has been well...weird. Hard to explain. However, rest assured I am not abandoning this pic, not by a long shot. Updates just won't be consistently regular as a warning to all my readers. To make up for some lost time, this is a longer chapter and I hope you all enjoy!

To say that Tulip Karasu was eccentric was an understatement. Nevertheless, David had no choice but to play ball for now if he wanted any of the information he sought. He was a bit apprehensive sitting at the Ravenclaw table during dinner, but luckily Andre’s assertion proved to be correct. No one desired to sit near her and therefore they could spend the meal alone and in peace.

Stuffing Dennis into her shirt pocket, the Ravenclaw began to serve herself and cut up her chicken into several tiny pieces before eating. The young Gryffindor was hungry, but he preferred to focus on the matter at hand. Something about this girl was oddly fascinating. He also had many questions to ask.

“So how exactly did you stumble across my brother’s room and how was I not aware of that? Furthermore, since when are multiple people looking for the vaults?”

“One question at a time,” Tulip countered with a smile. “I still need to know why I should work with you, David Grant.”

The use of his full name was another idiosyncratic habit she seemed to demonstrate. That being said, it couldn’t hurt to give her a pitch. Especially since it sounded like she had been working with another person, possibly more than one in searching for the vault. From the looks of it, their progress was better than his in finding the latest one.

“I don’t usually play this card but...I’m the best chance you have at getting inside of a vault. I’m one of the strongest duelists in our year and I’ve broken one curse already.”

“You’re a very determined and talented person, there’s no denying that,” Tulip replied thoughtfully. “But it seems like I’m closer to finding the next vault than you are. Why shouldn’t I just go off on my own?”

“Because if we assist each other, it’ll help us solve the mystery faster,” David explained. “You found my brother’s room, but I doubt you’re any closer to knowing the vault’s location.”

“True. You make logical points. But Dumbledore forbade any student from searching for them this year. What if something goes wrong and you try to pin the blame on me?”

Tulip was testing him, he knew that. She followed rules no more than he did. But clearly this was a person who didn’t trust people easily.

“I don’t rat on my friends,” David said simply. “When I thought Bill might not make prefect, I tried to take the blame from McGonagall. I’d do the same for you.

“Perish the thought of me ever becoming prefect,” Tulip laughed. “However, I am glad that you value the people around you.”

“I’ll put this simply: I don’t care about whatever so-called power the vaults have. I’m only in this for one reason and that’s to find my brother.”

The Ravenclaw girl scanned him up and down, as though he were a mildly intriguing piece of modern art. David felt a bit uncomfortable but said nothing. Finally she spoke again.

“I don’t know that I like you yet, David Grant, but I do trust you.”

Okay that’s a start...I guess

“Then will you tell me who your accomplice was?” he asked her.

“Merula Snyde.”

David immediately spit out the pumpkin juice he’d been consuming causing a few Ravenclaws to look over with mild disgust.

“WHAT?! But why would you team up with her of all people? You seem way too smart to trust Merula.”

Tulip gave him her most serious look yet.

“Merula is a lot smarter than you give her credit for. You may not like her personality, but there’s no denying her skill.”

David scoffed. “Yeah I’ll get back to you on that one. I’ve beaten her so many times in duels I’ve lost count. She’s always trying to one up me but never succeeds.”

“Her greatest weakness is that she believes she’s invincible. But more on that later. The point is we were working together at one point but then we had a falling out. Unfortunately she still has the other key to your brother’s room.”

“Then we have to get it back.”

“Agreed,” Tulip said. “But the question is ‘how’? She’s not going to hand it over willingly.”

“I’ve found over the years that the only way to get Merula Snyde to do anything is by forcing her. Typically after one beats her in a duel.”

“That may work, but this situation is also quite delicate and we don’t want to draw unnecessary attention to ourselves from the teachers. Especially if they caught us fighting.”

David agreed with that conclusion. They would need to try another method.

“Then what do you suggest?

Tulip gave another sly smile.

“Leave that to me. I’ll come up with something that will turn Merula on her head.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tulip told him she would need some time to plan and would message him when ready. In the meantime, David kept busy with homework which was significantly heavier this year with two added electives. He also enjoyed the start of Quidditch season given it was the first week of November. Unfortunately, unlike the previous year, things didn't go as swimmingly for Gryffindor this time around. Slytherin edged them 300-260 in the opening match. None was as ecstatic as Merula and she constantly reminded him about it during the week.

“I really hope Tulip comes up with a plan soon,” David muttered one day while sitting in the common room with Rowan and Bill. The two third years were finishing Transfiguration homework while the prefect looked over potions he might expect to find on his OWLs. “If I have to listen to Merula brag about Slytherin’s victory any longer I might just have to learn the silencing charm in order to shut her big mouth.”

Rowan chuckled as he turned the page on Intermediate Transfiguration by Emeric Switch.

“You’ll get your chance at payback soon enough, especially if you intend to get that key.”

“I know...I just wish she’d hurry up. Losing to Merula in anything is unbearable.”

“Be thankful you weren’t directly responsible for the loss,” Bill said to him, indicating the somber figure of his brother slumping in one of the chairs. Charlie had been noticeably quiet since the match, avoiding crowds and shutting himself up in the dormitory most of the time outside of class.

“Is he going to be alright?”

“He’ll get over it,” Bill assured them. “But despite what you may think, Charlie is super competitive when it comes to Quidditch. He hates losing and this was the first time in his career he’s never caught the snitch.”

“Can’t win them all I suppose,” David sighed. “We should have won, though. Skye was flying circles around them again. And that Slytherin beater totally committed a foul before Charlie could seal the deal.”

“It happens. I hate losing to Slytherin too, but a little perspective never hurts. There’s another cursed vault out there we need to find.”

David and Rowan nodded. You could always count on Bill to be level headed when it came to these situations.

“Speaking of, any luck with deciphering the rest of that book?”

“It’s slow going,” Rowan said shaking his head. “I swear I’m going barmy from trying to make out all the symbols. It gets more complicated the deeper you get into the book.”

“Don’t overwork yourself,” Bill said kindly. “The best thing we can do now is getting into that room.”

As it happened, there was more progress on that front. Jae Kim suddenly appeared in front of their group.

“I was told by a certain Tulip Karasu to tell David that she wants you to meet her in the courtyard straight away.”

The three Gryffindors looked at each other with anticipation.

“Did she say anything else?”

Jae shrugged.

“Nope. I’m just passing along the message. If you’ll excuse me, I have orders to fill.”

Bill gave an uneasy expression as the Korean boy walked off.

“I sometimes wonder if I shouldn’t be doing more to prevent him from running that little black market of contraband he has.”

“Jae does plenty to get himself in trouble without your involvement,” David chuckled. “I swear we don’t even need Zonko’s. He supplies half the school with Fanged Frisbees by himself.”

He stood up and brushed off some of the couch lint on his jeans.

“Guess I better see what Tulip wants.”

“Hopefully she’s got a plan,” Rowan said eagerly.

“Yeah...hopefully.”

Despite barely knowing her, David had a feeling that whatever Tulip Karasu wanted, it was bound to be interesting to say the least.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He made his way down to the specified area where Tulip was waiting just outside the entrance. Unlike her uniform, she wore a blue coat over a thick sweater with a matching beanie hat with a puffball on top combined with a flowy skirt, black tights, and flats. It was a brisk day despite the sunny weather and winter was well on the way.

“Good. You made it,” she greeted him. “Are you ready for my plan?”

“Don’t need Trelawney’s ‘Inner Eye’ to predict you’ve got something cooked up.”

“You’re becoming more perceptive,” Tulip said with a mischievous smirk. “Merula is over there, holding court with her lackeys.”

David gave a small peek, and sure enough the Slytherin girl was there alongside Barnaby and Ismelda. What they were talking about, he couldn’t hear but Merula was clearly animated about something.

“I’d recognize that orange tuft of hair anywhere. So what’s the big plan?”

“Even though they aren’t that bright, Barnaby and Ismelda are still tough and ruthless,” Tulip explained. “We need a diversion to lure them away from her. And luckily, I have the perfect item for the job.”

Out of her coat came a dungbomb, except twice as large and covered with some kind of outer shell.

“I call it the ultimate dungbomb,” she grinned. “Mixed in with some stinksap. I used the hardening charm ‘Duro’ to give it some heft. We toss this into their little circle and they won’t know what hit them.”

“Wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that thing,” David said, eyeing the putried projectile. “So now what? Do we levitate it or something?”

“Follow my lead. We hide behind the fountain until the perfect moment to strike.”

And so they entered the courtyard, tiptoeing along the way, careful not to make too much noise. The wind aided them in this goal and as they drew closer David could make out the conversation the three Slytherins were having.

“...can’t believe this! We’ve searched everywhere! We’re never going to find a cursed vault!”

“We should cast the Cruciatus Curse on Grant on his friends. Torture makes everyone talk,” Ismelda suggested with dark glee.

“Talking to you is torture. You have some serious issues, Ismelda,” Merula responded.

“We should ask Dumbledore. He’s really smart,” Barnaby said thickly.

By now Tulip and David were crouched low behind the fountain, peering over slightly to get a sense of distance from their opponents.

“Dumbledore spent half his welcome speech telling us to stay away from the vaults. Or did you forget that, you nitwit,” Merula chastised.

“We could give him Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. I heard he likes those.”

“Sometimes I wonder if your brain was replaced by a Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Bean.”

“I still say we should use an unforgivable,” Ismelda cut in. “I’d like to cast the killing curse on the next Gryffindor I see.”

That earned a look of derision and disgust from her leader.

“You don’t even know the killing curse.”

“I sat on a bowtruckle once!” Barnaby pipped up.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Ismelda asked, looking at Barnaby as though he had a second head.

“I thought we were talking about killing things.”

“Ugh, I hate you both,” Merula commented, rolling her eyes.

David shook his head behind the fountain.

“Merlin, this is literally too stupid to listen to. Now?”

Tulip nodded.

“Now!”

Using her wand, the Ravenclaw sent the ultimate dungbomb flying into the air towards the Slytherin trio. It exploded upon impact causing a toxic mist of green and yellow to fill the air and all three began to tear up, covering their noses with their arms.

“Dear, Merlin that is awful!” Ismelda cried, coughing into her arm.

“I can’t breathe!” Barnaby said coughing as well. “Let’s get out of here!”

Merula was hacking and wheezing too, but she still had enough oxygen to call after them as they ran.

“Get back here you cowards! It’s just a dungbomb!”

David wasted no time in stepping out of the shadows, Tulip in tow. They both confronted the angry Slytherin, who became irate upon laying her eyes on them.

“I should have known it was you!” Merula shouted, trembling with rage.

“Your powers of perception are truly dizzying,” he said to her in a bored tone.

“Hand the key over to us, Merula. I don’t know how long I can stand your stink,” Tulip demanded.

The look on the Slytherin’s face went from rage to incredulous.

“Us? You betrayed me, started working with Grant and have the audacity to ask me to give you the second key?”

“Actually...yeah.”

Merula’s expression returned to its usual nasty leer.

“Well too bad. I’m not giving you anything. How does it feel knowing I found your brother’s room before you did, Grant?”

“I don’t have time for this, Merula,” David said sternly. “Give us the key, now.”

Tulip then did something unexpected, stepping forward, a note of sympathy in her voice.

“We could use your help. This doesn’t have to turn ugly. Work with us.”

David was surprised at the offer of assistance and wondered where it stemmed from but predictably, Merula turned it down.

“I don’t want to work with you, I want to duel. Specifically you, Grant. Beat me again and the key is yours…” she withdrew her wand from her sleeve. “But I don’t plan on losing to you. Not this time.”

David withdrew his own wand and prepared for battle. In truth, he was looking forward to pop her ego once more.

“You never learn, do you Merula?”

He quickly fired a disarming spell, but she ducked while sending one of her own which missed over his shoulder, causing Tulip to dodge.

“Petrificus Totalus!”

Despite it heading straight for her chest, the Slytherin demonstrated remarkable athleticism by rolling to her side and firing back a retort.

“Flipendo!”

David was forced to copy the same maneuver, scraping his elbow on the stone but managed to avoid the knockback jinx. Wheeling back around he aimed a jelly legs jinx but again it missed due to Merula’s agility.

She’s clearly learned a thing or two since last year

The Slytherin began pressing forward, drawing closer with each curse she fired off, putting David on the defensive retreating from his original spot back towards the wall. Some of the spells he recognized, some he didn’t and he was fairly certain a few were the kind a thirteen year old girl wasn’t supposed to know. All the same, he had to think of something before one of them landed on his person. Then, he remembered her weak spot, the same one as always.

Too aggressive. Too wild with her spells

Indeed while she was driving forward, he could see a manic look in her eye, the kind that someone had when they were determined but unhealthily obsessed. David then came up with an idea. Dropping his stance and his wand into a wide, lazy position, he allowed his opponent to think she was catching him off guard. Sure enough, Merula took the bait.

“Remollio!”

A jet of sickly, yellow light headed straight towards his head. Smiling slightly, he ducked forward into an almost ninety degree angle and sent back a spell of his own.

“Fumo!”

A mass of black smoke issued in front of Merula, blocking her vision and senses. It was all the time he needed to strike the winning blow.

“Depulso!”

The banishing charm smashed into the Slytherin girl sending her flying back and hard onto the ground into a groaning heap, wand dislodged.

Dissipating the smoke, David walked forward, wand aimed and ready in case she tried to cheat or lash back out.

“I win again, Merula. I won’t ask a third time. Give me the key.”

Clutching her shoulder painfully, she rose from the ground, grabbed her wand, and proceeded to chuck a golden key at his feet.

“Fine! Take the stupid key! I already got what I needed from that loser’s room anyway.”

Tulip came up behind him now that the duel was over, picking up the key, sympathy still lurking in her dark brown eyes.

“Merula, please we could still use…”

“My help? Save your breath. I don’t work with traitors!”

Lavender eyes switched over to David and for the first time, he saw that they were on the verge of tears.

“Watch out for this one, Grant. It's only a matter of time before she stabs you in the back.”

Without another word, Merula brushed past them, the sound of combat boots hitting against stone echoing across the courtyard as she ran back towards the dungeons.

David wondered what Tulip’s reaction would be to these thinly veiled accusations but to his slight surprise her sympathetic expression was gone, replaced by her usual mischievous delight.

“Mission accomplished, David Grant. Let’s go to your brother’s room.”

Though satisfied with receiving the key, Merula’s reaction unnerved the teenage Gryffindor. He didn’t bring it up further but there was no doubt Tulip hadn’t told him everything about her history with his chief rival.

At least not yet.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The two teens wasted no time in heading towards Jacob’s room and soon they were standing in front of the dark brown, wooden, door. However, there was one question still burning in the back of David’s mind.

“Tulip?”

“Hm?”

“What did Merula mean when she said she already took what she needed from my brother’s room?”

Tulip shook her head.

“She was lying. We used this room because it was full of valuable information and research but there was nothing worth taking or pointing to the location of the vaults themselves...at least nothing that I saw.”

“Jacob was always pretty savvy at hiding things,” David informed her. “It’s perfectly possible you missed something. Hell, I just found a quill that turned out to be his transfigured notebook. I know this will sound strange, but I haven’t felt this close to him since he disappeared. There are a lot of things I’m still finding out.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” the Ravenclaw teen asked him seriously. “You may not like what you find.”

David didn’t hesitate with his response. Any potential negative revelation about his brother could not outweigh the possible benefits of discovering more about his whereabouts.

“That’s a risk I’ll have to take. I have to see where he did his research.”

Tulip nodded, taking out her key and inserting it into the first part of the lock. She handed him the one they received from Merula.

“Do the honors.”

He did so, unclicking the lock, the golden seal falling to the floor with a metal clank. The door creaked open and the two teens entered the mysterious space. However, it was dark and impossible to see anything.

“I can’t see two feet in front of me,” David said aloud. “Tulip, you there?”

“Yeah. Lumos.”

The sight that greeted them was both unexpected and horrifying. Out of the shadows stepped a tall, bald, sickly pale man cloaked in black robes. His features were gaunt and waxy as though they had been warped or burnt, especially his nose, which was disproportionately smaller. But that was not the most disturbing aspect of this person. Within the skull like head were a pair of deadly, luminous blood red eyes that reeked of menace and murder. There was no mistaking who it was.

“Y-Y-You Know Who! It can’t be!” David cried.

“Run, Grant! RUN!”

Tulip immediately pulled him back before the figure could pull out his wand and slammed the door shut behind them.

Catching their breath from the near heart attack they both suffered, it took a few moments before either one could say anything.

“How is that possible? You Know Who is dead,” he panted.

“Use your common sense, David Grant. That was clearly a boggart. Hogwarts is crawling with them these days.”

Regaining his wits, the Gryffindor realized Tulip was right and mentally smacked himself for being so gullible.

“Merlin, that was embarrassing.”

“Don’t be hard on yourself,” Tulip reasoned. “A lot of grown witches and wizards would have reacted the same way, if not worse.”

She paused before adding. “I am curious, though. Why is your boggart, You Know Who?”

The truth was, David didn’t know the full reason why but before he could explain that to Tulip they were interrupted by another very unpleasant presence.

“Well, well...David Grant and Tulip Karasu...why am I not surprised to find you two here together?” Severus Snape spoke in his usual dangerous, silky tone.

Oh, shit

“Professor I-”

“Silence,” the potions master cut across him. “Your brother was the most disobedient student Hogwarts had seen since James Potter. You may have overtaken him.”

“But we’re allowed to be here, sir. It’s not after hours yet.”

“Do you really believe me to be a naive simpleton, Grant? Stay away from this corridor and give up your search for the vaults, or I will ensure you will share your brother’s fate. Now back to your common rooms, both of you.”

The two teens did not dare argue but before they parted company under Snape’s watchful eye he saw Tulip mouth to him, ‘We’ll talk later.’

They would need to. With Hogwarts' nastiest professor onto them and a boggart taking the form of Voldemort blocking the way, another method of gaining access to the room was needed.

David sighed as his brother’s room went out of view. He really hated roadblocks.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thankfully, Snape couldn’t be everywhere at once and that included meal times as well as meetings after Transfiguration which the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws shared together. Though both David and Tulip were eager to try and go back to the room they mutually agreed to stay away for the time being lest the head of Slytherin catch them again. The main priority was getting rid of the boggart.

“Professor Sprout used some kind of spell to defeat the boggart that scared Penny earlier in the year,” David mused while he and the Ravenclaw walked together after class one day.

“Well technically we’re supposed to cover boggarts in Defense Against the Dark Arts this year. But we can’t wait for that incompetent buffoon to actually bring it up or teach us for that matter.”

“I swear these gormless prats are more and more useless with each passing year,” David agreed. “Guess it’s time to hit the library.”

“Let’s agree to research there after lessons are done every Friday,” Tulip suggested. “I’m sure there’s a lot we can learn before the holidays come around.”

“Sounds like a plan. I can bring Rowan along too. He’s one of the smartest people I know. Super brainy.”

Tulip suddenly hesitated.

“Actually, I’d prefer it to just be the two of us...for the time being. I can’t really explain it right now. Just trust me.”

As it was with Merula, David didn’t press the issue but he was steadily growing evermore curious about his new partner’s past. Whatever happened between her and the Slytherin teen must have been severe but he sensed there was more to it than that.

Adding to the surrounding mystery was another anonymous message he received one night. He had just come back from dinner with Penny, Tonks, and Diego when Rowan rushed to greet him quite frantically.

“David!”

“Whoa, steady on. What’s up?”

His best friend proceeded to pull out a letter from his robe pocket and hand it to him. The envelope was not addressed and carried no visible distinction.

“I found this on your bed,” he explained. “It just...appeared there. I didn’t open it in case it was private or cursed.”

David stared at the mail for a split second debating his chances. If it was a message from ‘R’ once again he was mostly certain it wasn’t cursed. Such a group would have tried to kill him by now. Then again he also had no idea what they were capable of given the general mystery surrounding them.

Taking his chances, he slit open the envelope, removed the parchment inside and read the contents aloud.

“You are in grave danger. Your investigation into the Cursed Vaults has drawn the attention of a group who is not to be trifled with. Be careful, but remain courageous. I’m depending on you to reach the final vault before the others. I will assist you when I can. I hope the next time I deliver you a message, the circumstances are far less mysterious.

Sincerely,

A Friend’”

Taking a moment to reread the letter and analyze its contents David looked towards his brainiac friend for a possible explanation. Rowan appeared to be as lost as he was.

“For the record, I have no idea who wrote you that letter. Do you?”

David certainly had no more inkling than the hippogriff by Hagrid’s hut. There were a number of possibilities, which included his brother, an enemy playing tricks, or even the Headmaster himself.

“I’m as lost as you are. I’d say it was a ruse except for the fact none of the Slytherins know how to get into our common room. If anything, it sounds like an ally of some sort.”

“I sure hope so,” Rowan responded with a bit of anxiety. “These anonymous messages are starting to creep me out a bit.”

He paused before asking another question.

“By the way, what’s with this Tulip girl? Why does she insist on working with you alone?”

David genuinely shrugged.

“I wish I knew. Your guess is as good as mine.”

In truth, David had little time to reflect on it at the current moment. Tulip was a vital piece in all of this and he could scarcely afford to scare her off. Whoever the mystery man was that claimed to be on his side, there was no use in dwelling on that either. Aside from his schoolwork, which he was careful to pay close attention to, the only thing that mattered was learning how to get rid of that pesky boggart in his brother’s room in order to properly access it.

Thankfully, that wasn’t too difficult in principle. Within their first round of research the Ravenclaw girl discovered the spell ‘Ridikkilus’ which was the same one Professor Sprout used to disperse the boggart in the Herbology classroom. However, given the risks of using the spell without prior experience and with Snape still looming over their heads, Tulip advised against going back to the room before they were ready. David wanted to head back as soon as possible but he eventually relented as his new partner in crime told him to practice over the holidays while she thought of a plan.

Honestly, she’s always scheming that one

However, with Christmas around the corner, the dreaded return back to West Country loomed over his head and he was not looking forward to the strained, emotionally stunted holiday as was per custom in the Grant household. But on the eve of his departure, he received a distraction of sorts, something quite unexpected.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was the last Hogsmeade trip of the season before the holidays and David used that time to share a glass of butterbeer with his friends namely Rowan, Ben, Tonks, Penny, and Charlie. The Three Broomsticks was even cozier and warm this time of year and full of festive cheer and decorations, many of which he helped Madam Rosmerta put up before the big customer rush as a ‘thank you’ for giving him the quill. In return, he and his companions received a round of free drinks.

“I tell you what. Life doesn’t get much better than this,” Rowan said, taking a satisfying swig.

“I can’t wait to go home and see my family for Christmas,” Penny beamed. She was snuggled up in a blue coat with a matching beret, leggings, and snow boots. David couldn’t help but notice the rosy glow on her cheeks and how pretty she looked. “My sister is dying to know more about Hogwarts even though I’ve told her so much already.”

“What about you, Dave?” Ben asked genuinely.

David tried to hide the fact that he was secretly conflicted and tried to play it off with his usual sarcasm.

“Well my mom will stress herself needlessly from making the dinner, my dad will read his newspaper and do paperwork, we open some presents followed by an awkward crying session from said mother who tops it off with a bottle of wine….so yeah. Merry Christmas to me.”

The blond boy was unsure how to respond to that as flushed with embarrassment.

“I...uh…”

“Relax, Ben,” Tonks cut in. “Dave knows you didn’t mean anything by it. Besides, I know exactly how to cheer him up.”

She transformed her face into that of a toucan’s beak, something usually never failed to elicit a laugh. But this time the Gryffindor teen didn’t budge.

“Oh come on, David that always works. Show a little festive cheer!”

Before she could stick another butterbeer under his nose the second Weasley brother came back over with another round and a message.

“Drink up you lot. Also David, my brother wants a word with you.”

He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“For what? Did he mention a reason?”

“Just said it was urgent. He’s over there sitting by himself. Pretty moody by his standards.”

Shrugging, he took the spare butterbeer weaved and ducked his way through the Christmas crowd and found Bill seated at one of the tables meant for two people. Indeed, he had a curious expression on his face.

“Charlie told me you wanted to talk?” he said, taking his chair. “Is everything okay?”

“How are you in the ways of romance, Dave?”

It was a loaded question, one he was not prepared to answer at all. Because the answer was not at all.

“Uh, Bill...I think you may want the tea shop down the street,” he joked referring to Madam Puddifoots. “What’s this about, anyway?”

“I’m obsessed with this girl named Emily Tyler,” the prefect explained and there was a swooning glint in his eyes. “She’s not only beautiful but in Defense Against the Dark Arts she single handedly stupefied an entire swarm of vampire bats.”

“That’s not saying much given the current state of that class,” David joked again, taking a sip from his glass. He did, however, see Bill’s point. He knew of Emily Tyler and many older Gryffindors had the hots for her. She always hung out with the same group of friends chatting away about gossip, makeup, Witch Weekly, and whatever they found interesting that day. She was also quite wealthy on both sides of her family. “So what’s the next step then? Are you going to tell her?”

“You make it sound so simple. But I was actually hoping you could talk to her for me.”

David had never seen Bill this...timid before and it was a bit unsettling. The tall, lanky, long haired Weasley was usually the cool one of their group- collected, confident, the voice of reason and was a favorite among the student body in the way he conducted his prefect duties. To witness him as being so unsure meant this girl meant a lot to him.

“Bill, no offense but you’re asking the wrong bloke. I know less about this stuff than you do. I’ve never even had a girlfriend.”

“Well neither have I. I’ve also never been in love before.”

“And what makes you think...wait you’re in love?” he asked, completely floored.

“Am I? I don’t even know anymore. What’s happening to me?”

It was then the adolescent Gryffindor knew just how important this was to Bill and the least he could do was try and spread some cheer before Christmas. Just as Tonks pointed out. If he could play matchmaker for one of his best friends, what was the harm?

“Don’t worry about a thing mate. I’ll go talk to her. No problem.”

Bill smiled in response, his worried brows relaxing slightly.

“Good. She’s actually right over there.”

He pointed behind him ever so subtly to indicate her presence, and sure enough, there she was hanging out with her usual assortment of friends, holding court at one of the wall booths.

“You sure you want me to do this?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t serious.”

“Then I will,” David replied simply. “I’ll be right back.”

He drained the latter portion of his butterbeer and made his way over through the vast crowd. Upon finally reaching the booth it didn’t take long for the group of girls to look up at him with curious looks as though he were some kind of exotic alien. That certainly didn’t help his nerves but he pressed forward anyway.

“Emily Tyler?”

David didn’t need to ask as he recognized her right away. He could see what the elder Weasley meant. Like Bill, Emily was a fifth year but physically quite mature, and could have passed for two or three years beyond her age. True to word, she was very pretty, piercing brown eyes to go with high cheekbones and a slim, feminine jawline to go along with extensive makeup. Dark brown hair formed a widow’s peak along her forehead and was pulled back into a high ponytail. She also appeared to be quite fond of the color pink as she wore a long sleeved magenta dress complete with thick, pink tights, a cardigan and boots. It was indicative of someone who grew up quite upper class.

Though she did not look annoyed, there was a haughtiness to her expression that was a tad unsettling to the third year cursebreaker.

“That’s my name,” she responded evenly, ignoring the whispers of her posse. “And you’re that cursed vault kid, David Grant. What can I do you for?”

“Well I’m a friend of Bill Weasley’s…”

This didn’t seem to impress her.

“Okay?”

Out with it. She’s not going to wait for the grass to grow

“He fancies you and wants to know how you feel.”

On cue the rest of Emily’s friends began to giggle though she gave no indication as to how she personally felt.

“If I can speak in his favor, he’s a solid bloke. You couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

“He fancies me? I have to say I’m surprised,” Emily finally responded.

“It’s true. Haven’t seen him this frazzled...well ever really.”

“Is this some sort of joke? Because I don’t want to look like an idiot. What did he tell you?”

“Fair warning: I know as much about romance as I do about advanced Arithmancy, don’t hex the messenger,” David told her bluntly.

“Perish the thought. I want to hear this,” Emily said as much to her friends as she did to him to stop them from giggling.

“What else can I say? He thinks you’re amazing, powerful, beautiful, strong. Bill is as cool as any person in this school but he’s a mess over you. And you couldn’t ask to date a finer person.”

There it was. A glowing recommendation and an honest account of his friend’s intentions and feelings. Surely that was enough to win over a girl right?

He thought wrong. A very unpleasant, arrogant smirk crossed Emily Tyler’s face as she began playing with her pink, manicured nails.

“What a prat.”

David did a double take.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t get me wrong he’s reasonably handsome but why would anyone date a Weasley?”

Anger surged through David as his right hand turned into a fist around his glass mug. Was she really turning him down for the reasons he thought she was? The resumed giggling from her cronies made it worse.

“May I ask why?” he asked through clenched teeth.

“Everyone knows the Weasleys are one the poorest wizarding families in Britain. They have no means, no manners, and no prospects. Why would I lower myself to such a standard?”

“I think you should take that back,” David said with quiet fury.

“And so what if I don’t?” Emily sneered. “Tell your friend thank you for sharing his feelings, it was a good for a laugh but he’s delusional if he ever thought he had a chance with me.”

By now, pure hatred surged through his veins, temper getting the best of him. More from the shock of someone actually insulting Bill, Emily Tyler was now the queen bitch in his eyes. Slamming his mug on the table with tremendous force, causing the four girls to jump with fright.

“I’ll tell you what I think,” he growled. “Bill must be attracted to your looks because your personality is pure rubbish.”

Emily recovered from the shock and shot him a venomous, threatening stare.

“You don’t know the first thing about me.”

“I know enough. You sit over here prattling on like my mother at a book club thinking you’re the greatest thing since Merlin’s first bowel movement. But you’re nothing but a stuck up piece of shite. I’m just glad I can tell Bill before he wastes any more time on you.”

He flipped the glass over, spilling the small amount of butterbeer left inside.

“Get bent...snobbish twit.”

Without wasting another second, he turned and left, still fuming over the audacity of Emily Tyler to call his mate ill mannered and inferior. It was also a highlight into the flaws of his own house. Just because you were bold and confident didn’t make you a good person. So pissed he was, he barely noticed Bill’s reaction when he sat back down at the table.

“Dave?”

“Huh?”

“You look like you’re about to explode. What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

Of course, Bill didn’t believe that.

“What happened and what did Emily say?”

On the one hand, David really didn’t want to reveal the full extent of Emily’s denigrating insults. It might shatter his heart given how much he liked her. Then again, it wouldn’t do to have someone he looked up to pining after someone who would sooner rip his heart out and stomp on it than date him. The truth was more important than protecting him from it.

“Bill...I won’t lie to you. It wasn’t good.”

“What do you mean?”

He hated seeing Bill’s confused face and he suspected that what was to follow would be equally as painful.

“Mate, she’s not interested. And she didn’t mince words.”

The eldest Weasley’s expression fell dramatically.

“Oh.”

“You can do better than her,” David tried to reassure him

“But-but she’s the most beautiful girl in our year...this whole school.”

“She’s also mean, arrogant, and generally awful. Bill, she insulted you and your family.”

He didn’t want to go there but there was little other choice than to prevent his friend from continuing his obsession. And he wasn’t fibbing. Bill did deserve better.

“She did?”

“Heard it with my own two ears.”

“But what did I do wrong?”

“Nothing,” David emphasized. “And that’s the point. You’re too good for her. And not the other way around.”

“It doesn’t feel that way,” Bill said with the slightest of tremors in his voice.

The third year leaned forward, speaking with the utmost sincerity he could muster.

“Listen to me...you’re one of my best friends. You’ve taught me a lot about dueling, magic, and Hogwarts itself. Everyone I know looks up to you as a person, prefect, and role model….and so do I. Don’t let someone like Emily Tyler change that. Be good to yourself.”

His impassioned speech seemed to finally break through and the Bill Weasley of old shone through.

“Thanks, David...I’m sorry for acting like an idiot. She’s the first girl I really fell for...it’s hard you know?”

He didn’t, not truly since he’d never had a crush on a girl before. But David felt a great deal of sympathy for his friend. Anything that could rattle the cool Bill Weasley could rattle anyone else.

“Of course.”

“Now let’s grab another butterbeer. Next one’s on me.”

“Cheers, mate. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

He and Bill made their way back towards their friend group where Charlie, Rowan, and company were waiting, greeting them warmly. Though the drinks were sweet and the atmosphere quite merry for the upcoming Christmas season, David own’s spirits were far from being satiated. A part of him knew his angry reaction to Emily’s rejection of the eldest Weasley was due to his own misapprehension and unhappiness that plagued him this time of year.

Images of his brother flashed before his mind as though it were a dream sequence.

For all the faith people placed in him, he wished he could take his own advice.

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #mc #hphm fanfiction #Gryffindor #David Grant #merula snyde #tulip kasaru #penny haywood #rowan khanna #ben copper #bill weasley #charlie weasley #barnaby lee #ismelda murk #emily tyler #severus snape #nymphadora tonks

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elsarah · 4 years

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Favorite clips of s5

Thank you so much @smblmn for tagging me, I love the idea! While the season as a whole was kinda underwhelming, it was full of amazing clips and I do have a lot of favorites. Here’s my top 10 and a few honorable mentions. I tend to have one favorite clip by episode, except for episode 8, which I REALLY didn't like. I didn't rank my picks, I'll just list them chronologically.

And since I didn't have the opportunity this season, I'm also making gifs to illustrate my picks :) I need the practice, as you can see.

Ep.1: Samedi 0:25 - Le choc

One of my favorite things this season has been the symbolism and the metaphors around sound and silence. In the first episode, there were 2 occurrences: Arthur seeing Noée for the first time underwater at the pool and him looking in the street as snow falls and slowly realizing he's gone deaf. I thought this was an amazing idea and that it gave disability more depth and beauty.

And that look at the camera in the last seconds… And the piano music… It was so chilling.

Ep. 2: Jeudi 20:59 - La nuit de

Globally, the scenes at the association were my favorites, even though I have a complicated relationship with them. Before shooting started in October, someone from the crew promised they would invite me on set during the filming of these scenes, but they ended up breaking their promise. I try to be as drama free as possible on the internet so I didn’t talk about it publicly but now that the season has ended I’m like “Why should I bottle this up, I’m not the the one who screwed up and I’m still hurt about it”.

The first time I watched that clip in January, I was heartbroken. Not just because of the missed opportunity but because I realised I never got to experience what Arthur did; there was no association for me, no one. But I still have a really soft spot for this scene because it's just gorgeous. The aesthetic is incredible and I totally understand what Arthur feels (minus the alcohol). Overall, as bittersweet as it is, it's probably one of my top 3 scenes this season (and it looks like it's one of David's too, this man has great taste). I can’t help but feel for the teenager I was and I wonder how I would have felt watching it then.

Ep.3: Vendredi 13:12 - Check de frérot

Arthur and Basile's friendship was one of the highlights of this season, heck Basile WAS the highlight of this season. Basile and Arthur never shy away from hugs and I'm living for it. I'm so looking forward to see more of Basile in season 6 (since I guess we'll see more of his relationship with Daphné). I loved seeing him be so well-intentioned, despite his usual clumsiness. Seeing Paul in a more serious register (for instance when Arthur lashed out at the boys in episode 6) was delightful.

Ep 4.: Lundi 19:02 - Les entendants

This one also belongs in my top 3. This is the representation I was looking for when I learned Skam France would tackle hearing loss and deafness. It doesn't come in the same package for everybody, and I love that they tried to show it through so many different characters. The situations described here are universal among deaf people.

On a more personal note, I loved that the extras were actual deaf people and sone of them well known. The lady interpreting is Jennifer Lesage-David, co-director at IVT, and she helped David and Niels a lot this season. And the girl speaking about her relationship with her dad is Lulu, she has a YouTube channel with her sister where they raise awareness about hearing loss. The instagram post that was published that day also featured a lot of people I more or less know.

Watching this clip was an experience in itself. I was attending a conference that night about deaf TV archives. The clip dropped 2 minutes before it started and I had to wait for it to end to finally watch. It was excruciating. Also, half the staff of IVT was there and I actually ended up watching the clip in front them. There were like "Wait? Jennifer was in Skam?".

Ep.4: Vendredi 20:43 - Ma vie a changé

While I'm still sceptical about Noée falling in love with Arthur so quickly (this sign song is unambiguous), I think this is one of the most beautiful scenes in the whole series. I don't care very much about this being romantically coded, I just choose to focus on the sign song, because I'm so happy they featured deaf visual arts.

My friend and I spent hours trying to decipher what the song could be about and our interpretation differed a lot from Winona's original text but we loved doing this. David was curious to see how my friend would understand it (especially the part where Noée signs a growing love which she cradles) and he was so happy when she understood it right.

For those interested, here’s what we interpreted (roughly translated into English):

Like two souls lost in the storm, Swayed by the tide, Never really seeing each other Until ours eyes meet. Something is growing inside me, something new, That sets my heart beating. You take off my mask and the truth in your eyes, Fills my heart. Look at me, I also see you.

Ep.6: Mercredi 18:31 - Un simple bout de métal

Also one of the scenes I was expecting the most this season, especially when it transpired that Noée was a bit radical. Her letter echoes my own fears and I thought it was really on point. Arthur admitting he needs her made my heart melt, he's so lucky to have met her. And Winona was amazing in that clip.

Ep.7: Vendredi 20:31 - Sourd dating

Just like for "Un simple bout de metal", I was also expecting that scene. I like that they made Noée and Camille voice their opinion like both faces of the same coin. It was a great way to address cochlear implants as they're a sensitive topic in the deaf community. I think this is one of the most shining example of the research work they did. They could have just stopped at Noée’s letter. But since they had deaf actors like Lucas, who is also implanted and has faced prejudices from radical Deaf people in the past, they had to show implants were not evil and that the situation was more complex than just “Doctors who want to act as gods”.

Learning Noée’s backstory was also interesting, although I didn’t expect her to be an "ex-implanted" deaf. She explains that she learned sign language at the association, which can't be more than 3-4 years ago (and if you look closely in ep 3, when Arthur checks the website, she says she joined the association at its beginning), but there's no way Noée would have that proficiency in sign language in just 4 years of practice. Winona's fluency in sign language is clearly that of someone who grew up with it. I loved being able to notice these subtleties.

Like all the clips at the association, it was a joy to watch because of the atmosphere and the sign language. The deaf extras were lovely. I actually got to meet a few of them last month and had an amazing time with them.

Ep.9: Vendredi 20:17 - Choisir pour toi

Coline. singing. Do I need to say more? I like that both Noée and Alexia had their shining moment and as clumsy as the story got, I appreciate that the writers didn't try to pin one girl against the other and make one superior. Noée had her sign song and Alexia her own composition. And both were breathtaking. What really gets me in this scene are the colors. I'm a sucker for aesthetics.

And of course, it was great to see Alexia stand her ground and break up with Arthur. I have nothing but respect for her and I'm team Alexia + happiness all the way.

Ep.10: Lundi 10:04 - La même vie que vous

When Melchior, Laura and the brochure subplot was introduced, I was a bit wary because their introduction scene was really, really awkward (it wasn't very well tied at first). By their second scene, at Arthur's place, I was sold. It was great to address accessibility and show that there's no point putting people with disabilities in the same bag, because there are hundreds of them and the needs are different. What doesn't change is our wish to live our life at the fullest, just like abled people. And this scene was precious. Seeing Arthur endorse this new part of him and support his peers was everything.

Ep.10: Vendredi 20:47 - Le meilleur des mondes

I'm still very emotional about this scene. Like… I don't know what to say, the music still sends shivers down my spine.

Honorable mentions :

Ep.1: Mardi 11:59 - 3, 2, 1,…

One of the only things Robin told me about the season when I met him at IVT was that the first clip would drop on New Year's Eve at 11:59 p.m.. That date became a beacon during fall and oh you wouldn't believe how much I waited for that clip to drop and how much I was looking forward to it. And it freaking delivered. The atmosphere, the tense music, that first shot on the loudspeaker, the confetti clogging it gradually… That teaser was a masterpiece.

Ep.2: Like… the whole episode actually. The alarm clock concept was genius.

Ep.4: Samedi 10:15 - Nouveau style

One of these gorgeous clips without dialogues that still say lots.

Ep.5: Samedi 10:03 - Maîtriser le langage

Oh my, this one was so relatable and a joy to watch. Camille explaining that sign language and mimes are different, Arthur being that dimwit asking about swear words and being told off for speaking… Kuddos to the deaf extras who had to pretend they didn't know any sign language, it was so funny (looking at you, Enzo).

Ep.6: Samedi 8:30 - Mythos

Seeing Arthur lashing out at his friends was cathartic. He roasted them so well, I wished I had his ability to speak so well when I'm angry. A+ work.

Ep.6: Dimanche 14:41 - Envie de rien

Alexia being the real MVP, as always.

Ep.7: Samedi 2:15 - Pool Party

It’s strange, because even though a lot of the story went down in this particular episode, it must be one of my favorites, like… tied with episode 2. It has probably a lot to do with the fact there were mostly deaf characters and that they had so much fun together. It’s something I can relate do, the sheer joy of signing the night away, which is something I didn’t get to experience until very recently.

As gorgeous as the underwater scene is, I'm not a fan of Noée and Arthur's almost kiss. I picked this scene because I love the moment of sheer joy that follows; everyone joining in the pool and having fun together. And of course the rise of Camika. I know it's a bit convoluted to have the two openly gay guys fall for each other first time they meet but… it just worked so well.

Ep.9: Mercredi 21:34 - Frère

This clip was about to make the top 10 cut when I remembered about another one and I had to remove it. Just Basile being lovely Basile.

Ep.9: Jeudi 17:30 - T'es pas tout seul

This clip was so important, bless the nurse and bless Jérôme. I wish Jérôme was my audiologist, to be honest.

Ep.10: Samedi 13:39 - Maman

Arthur's mom was so lovely and I'm so sorry she had to go through this shit with her trashcan of a husband. I liked her relationship with her son and her reassuring him he's not like his father was very soothing. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Arthur at the end of this season and I appreciate he’s well looked after after what he went through.

Ep.10: Jeudi 17:46 - Recommencer

Just like "Nouveau style" from ep 4, it's another one of these silent clips that has lots of meaning. Arthur putting back his glasses, slowly accepting his life won't be the same and that he has to move on. Except now things are clearer. Skam France love its symbolism and while sometimes it's very poorly done (like the love triangle emphasizing on Arthur's balancing between two worlds), more often than not it's very compelling.

Now I want to rewatch everything, so see you soon I guess :)

#skamfr5 #Manon rambles #I'm so sad my gifs look so ugly #I spent a lot of time on them but smart sharpen in a pain in my butt #I can't control it very well #oh well #I'll practice and I'll get the hang on it #my edits

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rosedavid · 5 years

Note

hey!! if you're still taking requests, cyrus and tj see eachother after a few months of their break up and old feelings resurface and they end up being all cute and in love again bc they're tj and cyrus lmao idk, i love your writing 🥺🤧

me going overboard on prompts?? just as likely as you think!!

thank you for the request :) enjoy!

also slight tw for swearing and panic attacks

Broken Promises

Cyrus expected college to be difficult. He was prepared for the endless late nights full of stressful studying, the constant tests, and the lack of free time. Going to an ivy league school makes things even more high stakes. It feels like every move he makes gets scrutinized by the professors and students alike. Cyrus planned to attend an ivy league school on the east coast since middle school. It was his goal, his dream one could even say. There’s just one factor that Cyrus didn’t prepare for, one that ended up changing his entire first year college experience. TJ Kippen.

There’s no doubt that Cyrus and TJ were deeply in love. They started dating near the beginning of their first year of high school and continued strong for all four years. Soon, having TJ constantly by his side, hanging out at his house, or taking him on dates became the norm for him. Between the worries of school and standardized testing, he was the steady, comforting constant in Cyrus’s life. As such, he never even thought about leaving him when it came time for college.

It all started in the middle of senior year. Everyone has finished applying for colleges, waiting with bated breath to see if they got in. Cyrus, being the overzealous student he is, applied to at least eight different schools just in case. He had to write so many entry essays that his hand nearly fell off from cramping. All of them were extremely busy with everything happening all at once, such as jobs, final grades, and the approaching graduation.

It isn’t until one fateful day in the spring that TJ and Cyrus realize that everything is about to change.

Cyrus arrives home from school like any other day. He’s starting to get nervous about his college applications, as two places have rejected him so far, and the other three schools he got into are in his bottom choices. As he walks into the kitchen to grab a snack, he spots his stepdad sitting at the table casually sipping coffee and holding out a letter.

“Is that…?” Cyrus trails off with a gasp.

His stepdad smirks in response, wiggling the letter until Cyrus snatches it out of his hand. He reads the correspondent information on the front, eyes widening. It’s his top school choice! This is it. This is everything he’s been waiting for.

Not wanting his stepdad to see him if he’s rejected, Cyrus heads upstairs to his room and closes the door behind him. He gingerly takes a seat on his bed, ripping the top of the envelope all the way across. He pauses briefly to take a deep breath and compose himself before unfolding the small slip of paper. He ignores most of the formalities, scanning through until near the end looking for the indicating words to tell him whether he got in.

Accepted.

Cyrus reads over it again and again until he gets the message to fully sink in. He can’t stop grinning, clutching the letter to his chest as if it would flutter away. He can’t wait to tell everyone the good news at school tomorrow!

Suddenly, it dawns on him. He’s going to school at an ivy league college on the east coast, far away from Shadyside. Andi is going to a fancy west coast art college. Buffy is also going to a west coast college on a basketball scholarship. As of right now, Jonah doesn’t know what he wants to do, so he’s going to stick around Shadyside. And TJ…TJ is going to a college in Salt Lake City, Utah, only a few hours from Shadyside.

For the first time in four years, they would be thousands of miles apart. How would they even see each other? What if their breaks didn’t line up? Could either of them even afford a plane ticket to fly out and visit?

Cyrus decides maybe it’s best if, for a while, he keeps the news to himself.

…

It’s only a few weeks before graduation. All of the seniors are getting even more antsy than usual, holding their breaths for the day when they’re finally done with high school forever. Cyrus is also one of these people, but he’s antsy for an entirely different reason. He has yet to tell anyone where he’s going to school. He’s put it off for such a long time, always saying that not all his schools have responded back to him. But he knows his friends, and he knows they’re getting suspicious. He needs to tell all of them, including TJ.

So, at lunch that day, he decides to rip off the band-aid. Everyone now sits together at one large table, so it’s the ideal time to make his announcement. And, as it so happens, his friends give him the perfect segway to make his announcement (unfortunately).

“Guess what?” Amber squeals, not waiting for anyone to guess. “I got into that fashion school in California!”

Andi beams, reaching forward to hug her and kiss her cheek. “I’m so proud of you! And now we’ll be so much closer!”

As everyone says their congratulations, they notice that Cyrus is abnormally quiet. Andi frowns from her spot beside him and reaches out to tap his shoulder.

“You good, Cyrus?” She wonders. “Is it something about colleges? I know how long you’ve been waiting to hear back.”

Cyrus swallows. “I…yeah. I guess it is. I got a letter from my top choice in the mail, actually…”

“What did it say?!” Buffy asks in excitement.

On his other side, TJ nods in agreement. Cyrus can’t stand to look at TJ when he makes the announcement, so he makes sure to angle himself away.

“Um, well, I got in!” Cyrus smiles.

Everyone cheers. TJ pats his back before putting an arm around his shoulder. Cyrus leans into the touch, wondering how much longer he’ll be able to feel it. And yes, Cyrus is super happy that he got into the school of his dreams, but at the same time things are a lot different now than he expected. In other words, it will be a strange transition.

“So where are you going?” Jonah asks, of course.

“Columbia,” Cyrus murmurs.

He feels the arm wrapped around him tense up. The mood of the table becomes slightly less cheery and more morose. Thankfully, Buffy is there to alleviate some of the sadness.

“That’s amazing, Cyrus,” She says. “An Ivy League! You’re going to do so great!”

TJ speaks up, “Yeah, you’ll do amazing, Cy. You always do.”

Maybe it’s just Cyrus reading too deep into things, but something in TJ’s tone sounds off. Of course, he sounds sad about Cyrus leaving, Cyrus expected that. He also sounds proud. But there’s another tone to his voice that Cyrus can’t quite decipher.

Although he ends up forgetting about it after a few days, it certainly ended up being something. A beginning to an end.

…

The day before graduation. School just got out the day before, and the seniors are all buzzing waiting to be officially graduated. Cyrus personally can’t wait to wear his cap and gown and move his tassel. Even though it’s more of a symbolic idea than anything, Cyrus still loves the idea of it all. In other words, nothing can ruin his good mood. Or so he thought.

That morning, he gets a text from his boyfriend. It’s odd because normally TJ loves sleeping in late, so seeing a message from him at such an early time is peculiar. Cyrus doesn’t think much of it, though, and simply checks to see what he sent.

TJ: meet me at the swings in twenty?

Cyrus: see you there x

The swings. They’ve been through a lot of good times and bad there. Cyrus hates to think that this summer will be one of the last times they’ll probably swing on them together. He smiles, thinking that TJ invited him there for a celebratory swing, maybe a few underdogs.

When he arrives, though, and sees TJ swinging slowly with a drooped head, he realizes that’s not the case.

“TJ?” Cyrus asks tentatively. “Are you ok?”

He goes to sit on the swing beside TJ, but TJ puts up a hand to stop him.

“Don’t,” He whispers. “This won’t take long.”

“What’s going on?”

TJ sighs, standing up himself. “We need to break up.”

Cyrus’s heart stops in his chest. He blinks, trying to process the words he never thought he’d hear come out of TJ’s mouth.

“What?”

“We need to break up,” TJ repeats insistently.

Cyrus shakes his head. “Why?”

“You’re going to college across the country. Did you really expect this to last?”

Tears begin to sting his eyes. Although the tone of his voice doesn’t sound hurtful, the words cut painfully deep. Did you really expect this to last? Did TJ not expect it to?

“Yes,” Cyrus answers honestly. “I did. I know it will be hard, but we can do long distance—”

TJ interrupts him. “No, Cyrus, I can’t. We can’t. I’m sorry.”

At this point, tears flow freely down Cyrus’s face. TJ appears impassive, which just hurts Cyrus even more.

“Wow, great to know that you didn’t expect this to last,” Cyrus scoffs, anger getting the better of him. “I’m so happy to know that you thought this was just a casually, high school fling that wouldn’t amount to anything. Do I really mean that little to you?”

TJ’s face morphs, “Underdog—”

“No! You don’t get to call me that. I guess it’s for the better that we’re breaking up. Goodbye, TJ.”

He doesn’t look back.

…

At graduation the next day, TJ isn’t there. Andi and Buffy ask him what happened, but Cyrus can’t find it in his heart to go through all the details of the situation, about how badly TJ hurt him. So, he just tells them the gist of it.

“TJ and I broke up.”

And that’s it. Buffy and Andi try to prod more information out of him at first, but after realizing how upset Cyrus is, they leave it be. Instead, they pull him into a big group hug which makes Cyrus feel at a little bit happier for the time being.

That summer goes by fast. Cyrus doesn’t see TJ once, but he does see TJ’s mother in town. She asks him how he’s doing and what his plans for college are. He answers them happily, as TJ’s mother has always been caring and sweet toward him. He has a feeling she doesn’t know they broke up.

“How are you?” He asks politely.

“Oh you know, it’s odd not having TJ around all the time,” She replies. “I’m happy he got such a good opportunity to start college early, but at the same time I’m sad he wasn’t around for the summer. I’m sure you understand exactly how I feel.”

“Uh, yeah, completely.”

Early college. He hasn’t seen TJ around Shadyside because he’s already gone. TJ didn’t even tell anyone he left. Suddenly, Cyrus feels more insignificant and used than ever before.

Moving in is a great distraction to the anger and sadness that TJ has caused him. His parents fly out with him to help him buy some things and move into his dorm. His roommate seems nice, and Cyrus can even see them becoming friends if Cyrus wasn’t so down in the dumps recently about everything. Despite his bitterness toward TJ, Cyrus also feels excited and happy. He’s going to the school of his dreams. He’s going to study his favorite subjects. It’s all going to be okay.

He talks to Buffy, Andi, and Jonah nearly every week during school. Even Amber calls up every once in a while to chat. He makes a few new friends at his college, but none nearly as close as any of his old ones. Early in the first semester, his classes are going really well. He’s acing lots of the assignments and tests, and overall, he’s happy to be exploring a new city.

Then, he returns for fall break.

Being back to Shadyside for the first time in nearly three months is like a punch to the face. Driving by all of his old spots filled with memories aches more than he thought it would. When he’s home, he hugs all his parents extra tight. When Andi, Amber, and Buffy come up around the same time to visit for their own breaks, his heart aches even more.

Hugging them all is like a breath of fresh air. He never realized how deeply he missed them. They only get a few days together, a few days to catch up on the last three months of their lives. Buffy, Andi, and Amber are at least close enough to each other to visit every so often. Meanwhile, Cyrus is living a completely separate life. He feels so disconnected from his old friends, family, and home. He wonders if it will always be like this. How much worse will it get?

When Cyrus gets back from fall break to finish up the second half of his semester, things go downhill drastically. He finds himself unable to focus on classes like he’s supposed to. He and his friends at Columbia drift apart with the constant studying. Cyrus constantly thinks about his friends and family. He talks to them on the phone less and less, too, which doesn’t help. Soon, everyday that Cyrus spends at the college feels like torture. His mood continues to drop along with his grades.

Along with all of this happening, Cyrus keeps thinking of TJ. How could he not think of the boy who was a huge part of his life for about five years? At night sometimes, when he’s lonely and wide awake in his uncomfortable dorm bed, he wishes that TJ were beside him, arm draped around his stomach and legs twisted together. Cyrus doesn’t understand. He should hate TJ after what he did to him. He should resent him. But by now, all of those feelings have faded into sadness and longing.

By the time finals come around, he’s a wreck. He can barely even muster up the energy to do his assignments much less study for finals. He wakes up from nightmares all the time, or just can’t sleep at all. He even starts having panic attacks on the worst days.

When he returns for winter break, the first thing he does when he sees his parents is collapse and cry into their arms.

…

It’s a cold, snowy day. Cyrus swings back and forth on the familiar swing set that he’s come to loathe. He’s come out here to cool off, literally and figuratively. Although he adores his parents, the constant questioning about his mental state soon became too much to handle after a few days. So, this morning, Cyrus snuck out. For some reason, he automatically heads to the swings. When he first comes upon the swings, he nearly turns around, but something compels him to sit down on a hard, plastic seat.

“Come here often?”

Cyrus’s breath catches in his throat because no, it can’t be him. This isn’t real, it must be another one of his convoluted nightmares. But the icy snow on his face feels real, as well as the chill of the wind and the brightness of the sky. He turns his head.

“TJ?” he whispers, breath fogging up the air around him.

Sure enough, there he is. For the most part, he looks the same; tall, sharp jawline, ruffled hair, colorful green eyes. But there’s an aura around him that feels different, that radiates maturity and confidence that Cyrus has yet to achieve.

“Hey, underdog,” he whispers back.

Underdog. Cyrus never thought he’d hear that nickname again, especially not coming from TJ’s mouth.

“What are you doing here?” Cyrus asks, almost in a harsh tone. After all, he can’t just forget what TJ did to him, how he made him feel.

“Can I sit?”

Cyrus sighs, nodding. They swing in silence, snow fluttering around them in intricate swirls. Never would Cyrus have thought things would be so awkward between them.

“I heard about what happened with school,” TJ admits.

Cyrus flips his head toward him and hisses out, “What are you talking about?!”

“Buffy’s sort of been sending me a bunch of angry text messages constantly, and in one of them she kinda admitted you were struggling being away from home.”

“She had no right to tell you that!”

“I don’t think she meant to,” TJ promises. “It was just a hint, anyway. But along with that and my parents asking about you all the time…I put it together.”

Cyrus scrapes his feet along the ice harshly. TJ flinches at the noise.

“Why do you care, anyway?”

TJ frowns, “What do you mean?”

The emotions that Cyrus has been holding in for so long suddenly burst out of him like an ocean wave crashing to the shoreline. “You left me after four years! Four years, TJ! And your explanation about college? Bullshit. You didn’t even talk to me about it first! We could have figured something out, but obviously you didn’t care then, so you can’t care now.”

TJ appears stunned at Cyrus’s outburst. Cyrus doesn’t think TJ’s ever seen him that angry before. In fact, Cyrus hasn’t felt so angry before.

“I’ve always cared,” TJ murmurs.

Cyrus scoffs. “Whatever. This is stupid. I’m leaving.”

He goes to get off his swing, but TJ’s gloved hand wraps around his own, causing him to halt his movements.

“Please,” TJ begs, “It’s true. I think about you literally all the time, Cy. I miss you more than anything.”

“Then why did you hurt me so much?” Cyrus cries out, tears dripping down his face.

It feels like a twisted repeat of the end of their senior year. The sense of Deja vu tingles from his head to toes. As they stand in the snow, their hands remain clasped together.

“I didn’t mean to, I promise!” TJ chokes out. “That was one of the worse days of my life. But I knew that if I told you how I really felt about you going to your dream college…you’d hate me forever.”

At this point, tears run down both of their faces.

“I don’t understand.”

TJ steps closer. “I didn’t want you to go, Cyrus! I wanted more than anything to tell you to stay here. But I felt so unbelieve ably guilty for feeling so selfish. This was your dream school, and I couldn’t let my selfishness take that away from you. So I thought the only way I’d be able to handle it would be breaking it off, but now I realize how incredibly stupid that was. No matter what, I can’t stop thinking about you, Cy. No matter how hard I tried, you were always there.”

“Teej,” Cyrus whispers with a sniffle. “Oh my god, TJ…”

“I’m so sorry I hurt you,” TJ sobs. “I hate myself everyday for that. I’m so sorry.”

They collapse into each other’s arms. TJ sobs into Cyrus’s shoulder, while Cyrus strokes his wet hair and cries silently. Being back in TJ’s embrace feels just like he remembers it; a warmth in the cold of the winter, a promise of comfort and security.

“It’s true,” Cyrus says softly into TJ’s ear. “I hate it at my school. I’m so anxious all the time. I’m failing almost all my classes. I’m a complete wreck. I feel like a huge baby. People do this all the time, move far away from home for college, but I couldn’t.”

“You’re not a coward, Cyrus. You were being brave trying something new.”

“But I couldn’t handle it! I feel like I failed,” Cyrus admits, pulling away.

TJ looks him in the eyes. “You didn’t fail. You just found out what doesn’t work for you. You’ll find your way again, I’m sure of it.”

Then, with the gentlest of touches, TJ reaches up to wipe a stray tear from Cyrus’s cold, rosy cheeks.

“I missed you,” Cyrus says again. “I missed you, I missed you, I missed you!”

They meet in a passionate kiss, pouring all their love and affection into it. Kissing TJ again feels like a reignited fire, a joyous song playing on repeat, fireworks exploding across the sky. In that moment, Cyrus knows that he’ll never love anyone like he loves TJ, and he needs TJ to know that.

So, when they pull apart panting for air, Cyrus’s hands cupping TJ’s cheeks, Cyrus hums out, “I love you Thelonious Jagger.”

TJ laughs before leaning in and kissing him again briefly but assertively.

“I love you endlessly, Cyrus Goodman.”

#tyrus #andi mack #tyrus fanfic #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #fanfiction #angst #sweaing tw #panic attack tw

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jahaanofmenaphos · 4 years

Photo

Art by the awesome @tommieglenn!

Of Gods and Men Summary:

When the gods returned to Gielinor, their minds were only on one thing: the Stone of Jas, a powerful elder artefact in the hands of Sliske, a devious Mahjarrat who stole it for his own ends and entertainment. He claims to want to incite another god wars, but are his ulterior motives more sinister than that? And can the World Guardian, Jahaan, escape from under Sliske’s shadow?

Read the full work here:

ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

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TUMBLR CHAPTER INDEX

QUEST 11: SLISKE’S ENDGAME

QUEST SUMMARY:

The eclipse is nigh. The end of Sliske’s games draws near. All the gods gather for one final race for the Stone, taking them through a shadowy labyrinth of the devious Mahjarrat’s design. Not only does Jahaan have to survive the trials Sliske sets out for them, but he has to compete against every major deity in Gielinor. Then, and only then, will he have a shot at ending Sliske’s madness once and for all…

CHAPTER 4 - MORAL MAZE

Jahaan had been traipsing through the maze for quite some time now without running into anyone. After his spat with Saradomin and Zamorak, he was glad for the solitude. He knew at some point he’d run into the dragonkin - just his luck, after all. From Sliske’s announcements, they’d been making quite the mess. Recently Jahaan had stumbled over the debris of a broken statue, no doubt their doing.

Jahaan had no idea how long he’d spent in the maze, but it had to have been a couple of hours by now. His waterskin was empty, and the measly amount of food he’d packed had long since been scoffed. The thing about being stuck in a labyrinth was the lack of visual progression. Sure, he’d reached the glowing orb thing first, but beyond that, it was a free-for-all. Yes, he’d solved a whole bunch of puzzle doors and trap rooms by now, but they didn’t show any signs of lessening. Who’s to say Zaros wasn’t one locked door away from the Stone, or Saradomin hadn’t run himself in circles and was back at the start? Of course, the frustration was exactly what Sliske was hoping to elicit in the competitors. Seeing them squabble and break would surely be amusing for him...

Eventually Jahaan stumbled upon Zaros and company, the deity greeting, “Well met, World Guardian.”

“Hello Zaros,” Jahaan cordially replied. “How are you finding the game so far?”

“It is an unnecessary formality,” Zaros replied, betraying no emotion. “Sliske loves to caper and play the fool, but his time now is almost at an end.”

“You expect to win the game?”

“It is not a question of winning or losing,” Zaros stated. “I have never seen the need, or felt the desire, to participate in mortal entertainments and this is no different. I have made sufficient effort to ensure that whatever the outcome, things will transpire according to my design.”

Jahaan narrowed his eyes, warily. There was something subtly threatening about Zaros’ tone, something insidiously ominous, but Jahaan didn’t want to delve too much into it now, lest he accidentally make another enemy here.

But if I get the Stone, how would that fit into Zaros’ plan? Jahaan couldn’t help but muse to himself.

Such a thought only spurred Jahaan on, not wanting to waste any more time with idle chit-chat. He admired Zaros, but not enough to relinquish the Stone to the deity, should he claim it.

But before he left, he desired a small word with Azzanadra, who looked a lot more sullen and morose than usual. The Mahjarrat seemed to be staring off into space.

“Azzanadra?” Jahaan called.

The Mahjarrat looked up, shaking the cobwebs from his mind. “Apologies, World Guardian. My mind was elsewhere.”

“That’s okay,” Jahaan was slightly worried about Azzanadra’s tone but thought better than to question it. Mahjarrat hated talking about their feelings at the best of times, but in front of their god? Not a chance. But Jahaan had been hoping to run into Azzanadra, so he pushed his concerns aside for a moment and said, “When I met with Wahisietel, he said another Ritual was on the horizon. Did one actually happen?”

Azzanadra nodded, gravely. “A Ritual was conducted, but Sliske did not attend. It does not seem to have affected him, though. Not yet, anyway.”

“Why do you think that is?” Jahaan asked, having ideas of his own but hoping for some clarity.

Clearing his throat, Azzanadra’s eyes darted to Zaros and Char, refusing to meet Jahaan’s own. “Apologies, Jahaan. We can discuss this after the Stone has been claimed.”

Azzanadra strode off down the corridor, Jahaan numbly watching him go. He looked to Zaros in hopes of an explanation, but only received a courteous, “I must continue. Perhaps we will meet at the end, World Guardian.”

Strisath and Sithaph had separated from Kerapac at the start of the labyrinth, not caring for the more reserved strategy of the Dactyl dragonkin. No, the Necrosyrtes didn’t have the patience to follow Kerapac’s lead, instead taking to barrelling through the labyrinth like an unhinged tornado. Unsurprisingly, they hadn’t gotten far in the labyrinth, save for the few mask-based riddle doors they got through by pushing every button until the door yielded. They shrugged off the static shocks they endured like they were pinpricks.

Wings didn’t help them, though they insisted on repeatedly trying to fly over the walls, the forcefield stopping them every time.

Unfortunately for Armadyl, he just so happened to run into these dragonkin.

Armadyl’s breath caught in his throat as soon as he saw the dragonkin storm around the corner, halting his avianse and trying to subtly move in front of them to protect them.

Gulping, he whispered to his entourage, “Stay back. Don’t provoke them.”

As soon as Strisath and Sithaph locked eyes with Armadyl, they stalked over, a hoarse gargle from a forgotten flame dying in their throats.

“Why so scared, little budgie?” Strisath taunted, hungry eyes raking up the avianse god’s tall frame.

“I have no quarrel with you,” Armadyl tried to sound confident, but his tone was wavering.

“Nor we with you,” Sithaph’s tone was taunting and cruel. “Why would we fight the ‘Great Armadyl, holder of the Siphon’?”

“‘Great Armadyl, Beheader of Bandos’,” Strisath joined in with a cackle, skulking around to block one of Armadyl’s exits.

“‘Great Armadyl, Stone Coveter’,” Sithaph hissed, a strangled rasp of a sound.

Trying to quell his shaking, Armadyl let out a long breath and began, “Look, I am not interested in the Stone. Not personally. I want to lock it away, far away from any gods. I'm here to end this. And I could help all of you! I may be powerless here, but away from this game - I would free you. I would try to free you!”

Sithaph tilted his head to one side, licking his lips with a forked tongue. “You would do that for us? You would set us free? We wouldn't feel this... rage, this strength in pain? It would be gone?”

Sighing with relief, Armadyl excitedly continued, “Yes, all of it! I would dedicate myself to returning you to your noble roots, I-”

He was cut off by having to duck a fireball that was aimed too close to his head. Smoke huffed from Strisath’s nostrils as he grunted, “Foolish pigeon, it would be easier to rip out your stupidity than rip out the Stone's curse.”

Sithaph barred his fearsome set of teeth. “You stand here, with the gift of the elder gods removed from you, and claim to save us? Arrogant bird. The fury of the dragonkin cannot be quelled! Not by you, and not by any of the other pathetic creatures that call themselves gods…”

With that, they both let out an ear-piercing scream in tandem and bolted down the next corridor.

Armadyl watched them go, thankfully with a pride more singed than his feathers.

Once again, a vexing puzzle door blocked Zaros and his entourage from progressing in the maze. The puzzle blocking the door in question was a mechanism of sorts, one comprised of a dial that could only be solved by deciphering the rune symbols surrounding it. There were dozens of potential combinations, but Zaros had soon figured out the correlation between the composite runes in an incorrect colour and the number of twists required on the dial. A good twenty minutes at a previous gateway had led to that discovery and, to their relief, Sliske had been consistent in his solutions.

When they walked through, who was there to greet them at the other side, but Zamorak and his entourage.

The thick tension between the two groups was suffocating, a choking silence of calculations and false bravado.

Of all of them, Azzanadra was the first one to break the silence. “Well… this takes me back.”

“Be silent, worm,” Lord Daquarius warned. “You are in the presence of a god!”

Licking his lips, Azzanadra cracked a challenging sneer. “Do you have any idea who we are?”

“Relics of the past who should have stayed buried,” Lord Daquarius spat back, clutching onto the hilt of his sword.

“Better a relic than an usurper!” Char boldly retorted.

“Enough, all of you,” Zamorak groaned, exasperatedly. “Zaros, Azzanadra… it’s been a minute.”

Azzanadra replied, “We seem to be running into each other a lot these days,” he squinted at Moia. “I do not recognise the company you are keeping. What is she supposed to be?”

Zamorak introduced, “This is Moia. Lucien's daughter.”

Azzanadra’s face turned a sickening shade of disgust. “Lucien's… daughter? How? But… her face. What is wrong with her face?”

“I am half-human,” Moia announced, lifting her chin in dignified defiance.

“Half?” Azzanadra choked. “But that is not possible… my lord, did you know of this abomination?”

“Yes,” Zaros confirmed. “But she is not important. The secret of her creation died with Lucien.”

“Thankfully!”

“But I could be the future of our race!” an insulted Moia protested.

“Our race?” Azzanadra spluttered through the indignity. “Better to not have a future than this… this 'hybrid'!”

“Zamorak told me you were a self righteous fool,” Moia growled, baring her teeth. “I see now how right he was!”

Shaking his head, Azzanadra asked, “Zamorak, how can you stand to be around this 'thing'?”

Zamorak simply replied, “Moia is a loyal follower. She is also perfectly capable of speaking for herself.”

Still, Azzanadra persisted, “My lord, we cannot let this abomination roam free. It is an insult to the Mahjarrat. We must kill it!”

“We must do nothing of the sort,” Zaros firmly disuaged. “Moia is here as Zamorak's agent, and Zamorak and I have come to an understanding, as you should remember.”

“Oh, really? And here I was hoping for the big showdown…”

Zaros audibly sighed. “Hello Sliske.”

“By all means, don’t let me disturb you,” Sliske continued, his honeyed voice dripping through everyone’s last nerve like acid. “I really am sorry to have missed that shindig on Freneskae. You two finally kiss and make up, hm?”

Zamorak’s grin turned malicious. “Sliske! You know, I really wish you had made it to the Ritual,” he flashed a devilish sneer at Azzanadra. “It would have been fun to see some of your closest companions finally prove they were sick of you.”

At this, Azzanadra started to storm forward, but Zaros held an arm out to stop him.

“Come on Zaros, let them get it out of their system. After all, I’ve stripped you all of your powers. Even Azzy’s feeling the effects. It would be fun to see a little fist-fight between him and Zammy.”

“Be quiet, Sliske,” Zaros warned, coldly.

Naturally, it was a warning Sliske did not heed. “Then Zamorak, maybe you could take Zaros on personally? After all, you’ve already spent an eternity without your god powers. You KNOW how to fight. You could easily take him.”

Zamorak had had enough. “Shut the FUCK UP Sliske!”

Sliske tutted. “Oh, Zammy, you're still such a bore. Go on, then. Go back to your disappointingly non-violent squabbling.”

“It is time to leave,” Zaros announced.

“Actually, I wanted to speak to you alone, Zaros,” Zamorak’s tone was measured, his anger dissipated.

Char boldly interjected, “Whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of all of us, usurper.”

Hushing her, Zaros assured, “Do not fear, my child. Zamorak and I have come to an understanding. I wish to hear him out. Please…”

He motioned for Zamorak to follow him to the far end of the corridor, though both deities knew they were being watched like hawks by the beedy eyes of their respective entourages.

“Your followers are very protective over you,” Zamorak commented, looking over his shoulder at the glare Char was shooting him. He waved in return.

“They are,” Zaros simply replied.

“Of course, while we’re both here, stripped of our powers…” Zamorak trailed off, an unreadable glint in his eyes.

“Yes?”

“This would be the perfect time to complete the rebellion.”

“By killing me?”

“Yes. I don’t think they could save you in time.”

Calmly, Zaros inquired, “And will you do so?”

After a long pause, Zamorak let out a deep, pent up sigh, and said, “It’s very, very tempting... but no.”

“And why not?” Zaros’ stoism did not waver.

“Because the rebellion’s thousands of years in the past. Because you helped save the Mahjarrat. Because we share a mother? But also because perhaps... I finally realise that I haven’t got shit to prove to you anymore. When you were gone, I conquered worlds. I brought death to whole races and redemption to others. Thousands of years ago I wanted to prove I could be a better leader than you. I’ve since proven that a hundred fucking times over.”

Though it couldn’t be seen behind his mask, Zaros’ lips danced with the faintest glimmer of a warm smile, one he hadn’t achieved in a milenia. “Good. It was always my hope for you that you would fulfil your potential. I simply did not anticipate it coming in the form it did.”

Zamorak felt like smiling too, but he restrained himself. “Yes, I recall you spoke of my potential when you made me your Legatus Maximus, back when I first became a general of your armies and swore to do your bidding.”

Zamorak relaxed his tensed up stance, his face washing over with a tranquility he hadn’t felt since stepping inside Sliske’s labyrinth. “It’s strange… we have not spoken like this in so long, my lord. I feel… 'loyal'...” his eyes grew wide. “Wait…”

Zaros brought a single finger to the lips of his mask, signalling quiet. “Sliske must not know. I will not take advantage of you.”

Zamorak knew this feeling - he felt it many times before, even right before he stabbed Zaros with the Staff of Armadyl. It was the insidious, smoky feeling of having his mind infiltrated, a power Zaros held and administered so easily. The ‘curse’ that Zaros spoke of, doomed to enforce loyalty in the beings he commanded over, never knowing if it was genuine or not.

What the fuck? Was his divinity… somehow not stripped...

However, instead of anger at this unwelcomed familiarity, he only felt serenity. He knew not to ask questions, and he knew why not to ask, because he knew the answers; these questions and answers belonged to Zaros - they were not his own. “Then... this feeling of calm...?

“It is not real,” Zaros confirmed. “Your rage will return. Your rage at me, in particular. But I urge you, Zamorak, for the sake of the warlord who once showed so much promise, and the righteous divinity you have become, do not let it master you. Now, I must depart.”

“Goodbye my lor-...” Zamorak shook his head, clearing his mind. “Goodbye, Zaros.”

DISCLAIMER:

As Of Gods and Men is a reimagining, retelling and reworking of the Sixth Age, a LOT of dialogue/characters/plotlines/etc. are pulled right from the game itself, and this belongs to Jagex.

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#runescape #sliske's endgame

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tear-her-aus · 5 years

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Karma’s a Bitch - pt 8

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Summary: Closure. That’s what you needed to finally forget that memory of your past. A memory that shaped you into becoming the person you are today. Perhaps you wouldn’t find closure, but instead closure in the form of a boy would find you.

Pairing: Jimin x female reader x Jungkook (?)

WC: 3.3k

Warnings: Low self esteem, past trauma, mentions of an eating disorder, mentions of bullying.

A/N: This part is mainly angst, so prepare yourselves. Yet, there’s a part I consider cute, so it’s not that bad. Overall, I hope you enjoy! The main plot is finally here!!

* - * - * - * - *

Part 8

You told Jin that you were feeling better, but it was a lie. You wanted nothing more than for earth to swallow you completely. Everything seemed like a joke now. It had to be in the precise moment when you started to feel something so real that everything had to end up crashing down in a spiral of pain. It was you who always hurted, who always ended up broken. A part of you wanted to scream in despair, but the best part of you (or was it the worst) made you stay there, feet static and eyes wandering through your whole body until they fixed on your eyes. How can those eyes have changed in the lapse of minutes? In the morning they were full of joy and ecstasy, but now they were empty except for a little spark ignited that later on would become a whole fire. However, you didn’t know that yet since you were too focused on your thoughts, all too consuming by themselves. Everything around you felt like an eternity, like time stopped for a second and you were the only one aware of her surroundings. But in fact, it was the complete opposite; you were the only one lost at that moment. The sound of a toilet being flushed made you snap from your reverie, yet it wasn’t enough to make you brave enough to affront the situation. Your mind was screaming you had to go back to the weight room, but your hurting heart was telling you to run. Being so used to listening to your mind, you decided for once to listen to your heart, so you ran.

Without thinking in the consequences, you took your belongings and ran as fast as you could. There were probably a lot of curious glances directed your way as you ran through the front door of the gym, but you didn’t care. It was only when you were stopped in a halt by a hand grabbing your wrist that you were drown back to reality. Slowly, you turned your head in the direction of the hand wishing it wasn’t Jimin. To your luck, it was Jungkook, who had a curious but worried look on his face. You knew that if you let him talk, you would burst into tears in front of him, so you decided on saying a simple sentence that would let him go off you. “It’s urgent,” you managed to say weakly. You didn’t know if it was the look in your face or the connotation the sentence evoked, but it worked. Immediately, Jungkook freed your hand and without waiting for his reply, you kept running. You just ran, wondering if it would stop you from thinking, from feeling. However, as you kept your pace, the memories started flowing like needles being punctured painfully into your mind.

Gasping for air, you saw it clearly as if it was a movie you’ve watched at least a hundred times: you were sitting on the floor with your color pencils sprayed in the floor while you had one in your hand as you drew a beautiful sky. Some minutes passed, and you had already drawn yourself in the paper, but something was missing making your frown. Just in time, your best friend sat down beside you with his own paper in hand and the most adorable smile on his face. “Are you finished?” He had asked while trying to pry on your drawing which you tried to cover from his view. “Don’t look! I haven’t finished,” you pouted as you wanted your drawing to be a surprise. “Okay, I won’t look, but you have to finish it fast! I want to see what you draw!” his impatience always getting in the way. You nodded your head fast and kept drawing once you saw him already focused on the sunset instead of you. Now that your friend came into view, you were inspired, so with your tongue between your lips, you started drawing someone beside you. It didn’t take you long to finish the last part of the drawing since you had the model right beside you. With a smile on your face, you announced you were done to which your friend’s eyes sparkled either from the reflection of the sun or from his excitement. “Okay! I’m going to count to three and we show each other our masterpieces,” your friend announced. “Masterpieces?” you questioned aloud, not knowing the meaning of the word. “Yeah! As in works of art!” exclaimed your friend. “Oh okay,” you continued, not wanting to delay more the exposition of your drawing. Your friend continued “One, two, three!” Both of you flipped the paper over to show each other what you had created. From the look on your friend’s face he was very pleased by your drawing, and you could say the same for yourself as you looked at a beautiful sunset which was the background to what looked like a shadow silhouette on the floor. As the art expert he was at his young age, you friend started commenting first: “WOW! It’s so pretty! Who are they?” he asked intrigued. “You and me,” you answered, indicating who was who as if you were an artist explaining her work of art. At that, his boxy smile appeared which made you smile as well, being your favorite smile of his. “Why us?” he continued his interrogation. “Because we are best friends,” you said as a matter of fact. “We are?” he asked. “Young and wild and free,” you sang and both of you laughed, yet you continued, “Off course, Tae! You are my best friend in the whole world!” His smile only grew bigger if that was possible, and you smiled too, meaning every word. But, soon enough that smile was banished from your face as well as the memory once you almost got hit by a car. Being pushed back to reality, you realized you were almost home, so with the little energy you still had, you managed to run some more towards your front door. Opening the door with force, you threw your bag to the floor and sank yourself next to it in disbelief. You still couldn’t believe they were the same people who hurt you back then. Slowly, a tear made its way down your cheek, and soon enough you were whimpering on the floor, all alone.

* - * - * - * - *

Jimin was starting to worry. He had already finished his fourth set of dead lift and Y/N hadn’t come back. He wondered if perhaps she wasn’t feeling well or if she ran into someone she knew at the restroom. Yet, as he was glancing once again at the bathroom door, he saw her running at the speed of light. At first, he was confused, but as soon as he saw her running towards the main door, he started following her from behind. He was just in time to see her saying something to Jungkook, whose hand was on her wrist before letting her go. Jimin was perplexed as to what was going on. He stood there looking at Jungkook, who looked just as confused as he was. Even though Jimin didn’t like Jungkook very much (being a threat to him), he approached the other boy and turned his attention back to him. “What happened?” he asked Jungkook as if that question’s context would be understood by the other boy. Blinking several times, Jungkook only stared with his mouth agape as in trance. Jimin was growing impatient, so he asked differently: “Why did Y/N run like that?” Jungkook seemed to finally grasp reality, and he opened his mouth to answer, “She just said it was urgent.” Jimin felt his eyebrows knitting as he tried to decipher what that meant. Was Y/N in danger? Why would she flee like that? Did something happen to her or to someone close to her? A million questions popped in Jimin’s head as he tried to figure out what that sentence meant and why she hadn’t said anything to him before leaving. Reason made Jimin conclude that if it was an emergency she wouldn’t have time to explain to anyone. Jungkook just was in the perfect place to question her before she left. At last, he nodded to Jungkook in understanding and started walking back until he stood in front of the loaded bar once again. He took his phone and texted Y/N a simple You ok? He thought that if she were in a difficult situation, she wouldn’t want lots of questions directed her way, so he decided on just that. When she is prepared and available, she would answer him, and everything would be fine again. At least that was what he hoped for. He hoped that the question he texted her would be answered with a “we are ok” at the end.

* - * - * - * - *

Alone. That’s how Jin found you. What he didn’t know was that it was the way you were feeling as well. Besides the crashing memories that tormented you before his arrival, you were all alone. You didn’t know how much it took for Jin to come to you, but it surely felt like an eternity. It was enough time for your memories to complete another way around to your head. As you whimpered, you remembered: sitting now across from you, Taehyung was now the one explaining his drawing to you. It was a very artistic drawing for a kid of his age, you had to admit. As you inspected his drawing, he started pointing each element drawn and what it represented. You couldn’t deny your astonishment at hearing him go over the metaphors and symbols in his drawing, but what you anticipated the most was the explanation of the meaning of the silhouette shade. “What’s the shade?” you had asked, curious on the main point of his art piece. At that he had lowered his eyes in what seemed like a shy gesture and just when he was about to answer, he was interrupted by no other than Park Jimin. “It’s obviously me, am I right Tae?” Jimin stood over the two of you with an air of dominance. You looked at Tae waiting for his confirmation. Taehyung looked questioningly at his friend but agreed to his statement by nodding his head slowly. You couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed as you thought you were the silhouette. Your disappointment turned into a sour sadness as you started to wonder if the value of your friendship wasn’t reciprocated, and in fact you were the only one who considered him a best friend. As honest as children can be, you decided on expressing your feelings to Taehyung, so silently you whispered “Tae, am I your best friend?” You wanted the conversation to be kept between the two of you, but Jimin seemed to have heard it. Without giving Taehyung a chance to answer, he again interfered. “Off course not, Taehyung is MY best friend, so you know.” Jimin pulled his friend to his feet and hugged him sideways placing one of his arms on Tae’s shoulder. You couldn’t help the stung you felt at those words, but you still waited for Tae’s answer. It seemed your friend agreed with everything Jimin said, for he remained quiet and looked down at his shoes. Nodding your head slowly, you too stood up and managed a simple “Okay.” You’ve lost to Park Jimin, the least you could do was accept your defeat. Off course Jimin would be Taehyung’s best friend since who wouldn’t want to be considered the best friend of the most popular kid at school. Even though you were young, everyone liked Park Jimin either by his appearance or by what his parents could buy him, being toys a main motivation for kids to befriend someone. You’d thought Taehyung was like you, that neither of you cared for expensive toys but would rather find other ways to have fun, yet now you realized you were alone with that way of thinking.

You were about to leave when Jimin derisively added, “What? Did you think Taehyung was your friend?” Turning around to face Jimin and Taehyung again, you replied truthfully, “He is my friend.” A mocking laugh left Jimin’s lips as he eyed you with arrogance: “Why would he want to be your friend? You are ugly and fat, and you don’t have anything to offer.” Shocked by his remark, you looked at Jimin wondering if he was joking, but there was no humor in his eyes. There was something else going through his eyes which made you scared at some point. You would never know why he would be so cruel to you, but at that moment you assumed it had to do with you crossing the limits since you were “stealing” his friend. Being so focused on Jimin’s words, you hadn’t noticed other kids listening to your conversation, and while you tried to formulate a comeback, they started shouting: “Yeah! You’re ugly” “You’re fat” “Nobody likes you!” You looked at them surprised by their hurtful words, and then you looked at Taehyung, who still had his head down avoiding your stare. Lastly, with watery eyes, you looked up to see Park Jimin once again, and even though his expression had changed, you didn’t want to know the meaning of it. You ran away from the shouts and away from the silhouettes that would become your tormenting shade.

When you felt two hands on your shoulders, you gasped either from the need of air or from the surprise. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Jin with a concered expression on his face as he looked at you. You tried to manage a smile, but your lips could probably only form a straight line. With caution, Jin helped you to your feet, but having been sat on both your legs, it took you some time to regain force to stand on your own. Jin helped you to your couch and sat beside you, waiting for you to speak. However, only gasps would come from your mouth as you tried to breathe through your crying. Tenderly, Jin guided your head to his shoulder, and you buried yourself in it as you cried harder this time. He stroked your head softly as a way to calm you down, and as it was so soothing, you managed to stop crying a few minutes later. “Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“No…” you sniffled, “all the memories are coming back.” You looked at Jin with pleading eyes, wanting nothing more than for the memories to go away along with the pain in your heart.

“I know it’s hard for you…and it became harder as you met him again, but you need to hold it in Y/N. Don’t lose yourself in the past,” he looked at you with the same pleading eyes as yours, knowing he was asking too much from you. And you had to admit he was.

“What if I’m already lost?” you looked at your folded hands in your lap, “What if I lost myself when that happened?”

Jin placed two fingers under your chin to make you look at him “Hey. You are not lost; do you hear me? I’ve known you for years Y/N, and if I had hang out with a lost person I would have noticed,” he smiled knowingly.

“Yeah, but you didn’t know me back then,” you said as you thought of everything you had to go through and wondered if the outcome of your life would have been different if that incident hadn’t happened.

“But I know you now,” Jin said sternly, “and I know you are an incredible person if not an exceptional friend. I know you don’t see the good in you but believe me when I say that everyone around you does.”

“Then…why does everyone leave me?” you asked brokenly.

You saw Jin’s expression stiffen, yet as he placed strand of your hair behind you ear, his eyes warmed as he said, “I’m here, aren’t I?” He placed his hands on your shoulders again as he looked you deeply in the eyes and said, “I won’t leave you.” Besides the fact that he was your best friend, the confidence in his eyes was so strong that you couldn’t help believing him, so you nodded your head to indicate him you knew. “You know how stubborn I can be, and I won’t accept losing my friend, do you hear me?”

“Yes, I do…Thanks, Jin,” you finally smiled, feeling a strike of hope rising inside of you. Jin hugged you strongly, and you did the same since you knew you weren’t alone. That you haven’t been or wouldn’t be as long as Jin was beside you.

* - * - * - * - *

You had classes at 4 but not feeling in the mood, you decided on staying home. Jin had classes as well, and even though he was reluctant on leaving you, you ushered him to go. You couldn’t be selfish with Jin, he had given you so much and you didn’t want to affect his normal lifestyle. So, you made him go. Now, you couldn’t care less about your academic life; you just wanted to stay, sleep, and forget everything that happened. But as much as you tried, your whirling mind wouldn’t let you sleep. That’s how you ended up staring at the ceiling on your bed, thinking. The pain was still prominent as another round of memories made its appearance on your head. You felt once again the rejection, the unjustified hatred, the loneliness. You wondered if Park Jimin knew what he did, what he had caused. It wasn’t just his comment that affected you, but the power he had over his classmates’ gullible minds. You grew up being laughed at, despised, and humiliated by everyone you met. Being called ugly and fat was part of your daily life. As everyone wanted to be on Jimin’s good side, they believed in his words and made sure you would never forget them. You remember your walk-through hell from kindergarten to 10th grade where Park Jimin’s presence represented your misery. After he left school at the end of 10th grade to study abroad, you were forgotten as no one had to be on his good side anymore. However, that didn’t mean they would accept you since you would forever be the cursed girl.

Being alone through your whole life and having no one to assure you it was all lies, you constructed yourself around what other people said: growing your bangs to cover your face, using bigger clothes to cover your figure, using hoodies to avoid stares, and wearing earphones to avoid the whispering. You stopped eating when you started 9th grade thinking it would make them stop calling you fat, and then by 10th grade you developed anorexia nervosa. It damaged you to a certain level to which your parents had to intervene, and for that you were thankful. What your parents didn’t know was the root to all your self-esteem problems: Park Jimin. Not wanting to worry them, you never told them what happened to you that day (or basically every day at school.) By the end of your 11th grade, you managed to overcome the eating disorder, yet you lied to everyone when you faked loving yourself. Understanding how unhealthy not eating can be, you took another approach which in everyone’s eyes was healthy: exercising. It was permitted, it didn’t break the rules, and it helped you heal. At last, that’s what you made yourself believe, but being confronted by your worst nightmare, you realized all your efforts were in vain. You felt small tears leaving your eyes and making a horizontal trail on your face. Each tear that left your eyes represented an emotion. First, you let sadness make its way out of your body. Then, frustration appeared at knowing you would never escape Jimin’s shadow. Finally, the last emotion in its liquid form came crashing with force on your mattress: anger. This one stayed until no more tears were formed.

A/N: Please give me feedback! I want to know what you think of this series.

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collecting-stories · 6 years

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Secrets | Steve Rogers

(Marvel ask anon) I'm sorry, I didn't check your Masterlist and it days what you write for there. I really like your Steve writing! Could I have a Steve x fem!reader where she works independently and her work is simular to Jessica Jones except she doesn't take anyone's money and never meets face to face so no names. She could work at an art shop and that's how Steve meets her. (Someone gave him a gift card?) She doesn't even know who he is and he really likes that? And maybe he could (1/2)

(2/2) startd picking up on small things but he just thinks he's paranoid. She does good things, but has trust issues and overdose it with boundaries. Tony somehow finds out and recruits her behind caps back? Honestly you can change as much as you want because I know it will be great! I love your writing! Thanks 🙂

Secrets | Steve Rogers

"I think you might be in the wrong place," You comment, watching the back of the guy who had walked through the door of your work almost half an hour ago. This was the second time in a month you'd found yourself saying the same thing. This time the guy who turned to look at you wasn't just some random stranger perusing the store.

Last time the man who'd been on the receiving end of your snarky comment had been standing in front of the same display of oil paints for twenty or so minutes, staring at the different shades you had on hand. He looked like he should have been lifting weights at the gym or maybe shopping two stores down in that health mart that had popped up.

"I'm sorry?" He had asked, turning around to look at you. Alright, you'd thought, he was ridiculously attractive. You came around the side of the counter and made your way over to him.

"You look a little lost, did you mean to come in here or are you trying to find a gift for someone?" You asked. He was like those people who came into Starbucks at Christmas to buy giftcards for their family and stumbled through a coffee order trying to decipher a menu they treated like a foreign language. Maybe a girlfriend was really into art or something.

"I meant to come in here." He replied, "a friend of mine got me a giftcard here for my birthday."

"Artist in disguise." You muttered, fiddling with a crooked piece of the display.

"Sorry?" He said again. He heard what you'd said but figured he'd play it off.

"Hmm?" You glanced over at him. Definitely should be a gym right now. Where these the kinds of guys that hung out at gyms in Brooklyn, why didn't you go to the gym? "Oh nothing. So, can I help you find something?"

"I'm not too familiar with oil paints but I thought I'd give them a try. I'm just not sure..." He trailed off, glancing at the display then at you.

"Well, you've got the right girl for the job. I can definitely help you out there." You replied. You began to explain the differences between acrylic and oil paints, watching him intently as you spoke. He seemed fascinated with the idea of the medium and was just as engrossed in your explanation as you were in telling it.

You needed to meet more people like him. Normal, friendly, rather innocent seeming. He wasn't overly complicated. Just a simple guy from Brooklyn who was fit as hell and liked to draw, what were the odds there. He introduced himself as Steve Rogers and you gave him your name, telling him to stop by whenever he wanted.

The man who stood there in front of you now didn't require any introduction. You'd recognize Tony Stark anywhere. The iron man, as he was most famously known. He took of his blue tinted glasses, the ones that you thought made him look like he was doing a Bono impression, and walked over to the counter.

"Name's Tony Stark."

"Yeah, I know that." You replied.

"Well then, we can cut the formalities. I've heard some interesting things about your business."

"Selling art supplies?" You took an exaggerated look around the store.

"Your 'other' business." He replied, trying and failing to look discreet.

You rolled your eyes at him, trying to seem nonchalant about his mention of your side work. In truth, you were a bit miffed that he knew anything about your after-hours job. It was hardly a year after the battle of New York when you'd found yourself in an accident and then, when you woke, you realized that something had changed within you. For all you knew of it, you had superhuman strength. Something that rivaled The Hulk (without the green monster) or Captain America (without the wholesomeness).

New York after the battle was left in ruins and it wasn't good people with good intentions that were making a head way in the city. It was men who meant to do harm to the neighborhood, targeting the less fortunate who'd lost too much to recover in the battle. So you put your power to use, acting as somewhat of a reluctant vigilante. There was even an ad in the newspaper for your services. Just a number and a message 'In trouble? Call x-xxx-xxx-xxxx'

"I don't know what you're talking about." You said.

"I know you do though. And I'm here to ask for your assistance. And also, to offer you some answers to what your powers do." He said, reaching into his pocket and taking out a card, "think about it."

You were still thinking about it, later that afternoon, when the door to your shop dinged and Steve walked in. He came up to the counter, just as you slid the business card under the magazine you were reading. You were too slow though, he caught sight of the Stark symbol on the edge of the card.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" You asked, leaning your elbows on the counter.

"Nothing." Steve replied, shaking his head.

In the month since you and Steve had first met you had spent a lot of time with him. More than you usually allowed yourself to spend with people. At least since the accident. Even still you were careful about him. He only came around to your work and he didn't know where you lived. You avoided spending time with him outside of work hours. You didn't give him an address, a last name, or even a phone number. While you were too busy keeping yourself safe from anyone who might discover your secret, Steve had started to pick up on your odd behavior.

He didn't want to pry, well...he did want to pry, but he promised himself he wasn't going to. Natasha had told him that it was best to make sure you felt safe around him before he went asking questions about why you were so private.

"It's not like you're in a relationship Cap, I mean, she's allowed to have some secrets."

And secrets were fine with Steve, he still hadn't told you that he was Captain America. Really, he had no intention of doing so either, which was why Nat was so adamant that he let you not tell him simple things like where you lived. So he dropped the subject of the business card hidden beneath the magazine that was laid out in front of you.

For at least another month.

Until Steve was sent in on a recovery mission for SHIELD that turned out to be more complicated than he had expected. Part of that complication was the mercs that he was meant to be pursuing using technology no one knew they had. The other part of the complication happened toward the end of the mission. SHIELD agents had been sent in and, because of that conversation with Tony a month ago, you were part of that team of agents. And as you ran through an underground tunnel that was more of an elaborate set of hallways, you nearly collided with Captain America, who grabbed you by the shoulders and said your name.

You tried to step back and pull away but he kept a firm grip on you. "how do you know my name?" You asked, alarmed. Fury had addressed you each by number. As the Captain had earlier in the night. He gave no indication that he knew anyone's name, especially yours. You hardly had a badge.

He let go of you with one hand, reaching up and undoing his helmet. As it dropped to the floor you took a step back, this time successful. "Steve?"

"What're you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing! Just ordinary Steve from Brooklyn my ass, you're Captain America!" You snapped.

"I've been Cap for seventy odd years, it's not exactly a surprise to most people." He replied. "Now what're you doing here? Did SHIELD send you to trail me?"

"Down in a tunnel?"

"You know what I mean? Have you been surveilling me?" Steve asked. The real question was 'did any of those lunches together at the art shop mean anything to you'.

"No I..." You figured your best explanation for this whole situation would be action rather than word. How were you supposed to ask Steve to trust your word that you were some super strong mutant of a human and that's why you were here; because SHIELD was honing your abilities.

You were given the perfect opportunity to show him when Hydra operatives came around the corner. He turned and pushed you behind him, purely out of instinct, but you disregarded his silent request to stay back. Instead you did the exact opposite and surged ahead. Steve didn't have much time to react as he continued to fight against Hydra with you but there were moments when he caught himself taking a long look over at you and not concentrating on the opponent at hand.

When he saw you down in the tunnel the last thought he had was that you were superhuman. That was even less of a thought when he saw you in the art shop the first time he wandered inside. But when the fighting was over and everyone was safely back on the quinjet, you with them, he couldn't help but stare at you, wondering how he'd missed it. He had a million questions running through his head but mostly he just wanted to know if you were being honest with him. Had you really not known he was Captain America?

"What?" You asked, feeling uneasy that his eyes were on you. This was your first mission with SHIELD, a training run to see if you were capable of becoming a real agent and the stunt you pulled in the tunnels with Cap was a surefire way to get your badge revoked. You would be back to square one, a rogue vigilante with unexplainable powers living in New York City.

"What?" He asked, looking over to you.

"You keep staring at me, what is it?"

"Did you really not know I was Captain America?"

"I never really paid attention in school so, yeah...I didn't know." You continued on, feeling like you needed more of an explanation, "This happened a little after the Battle of New York...I was in an accident and next thing I know, I can fucking lift a car with one hand. Stark knew, somehow, about the work I did at night. He recruited me to SHIELD. When we met, hand to god, I was just working at an art shop and keeping watch over my little part of New York." You said.

"That's why you kept so many secrets from me."

"I wanted to tell you Steve, trust me. But I just couldn't. I thought at the time you were just some ordinary guy. And I liked how ordinary I felt when it was just us spending time together. You never told me you were Captain America."

"For the same reason." Steve admitted, taking a seat beside you.

"Guess we can't go back to that."

"Not exactly but...it'd be better this way. No more secrets and trying to hide things from each other."

"Lunch tomorrow at the art shop?" You asked, leaning your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arm around his arm.

what?

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #marvel imagine #marvel universe imagine #marvel cinematic universe imagine #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain rogers imagine #captain rogers x reader #collecting stories imagine

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karolinadariaflora-blog · 6 years

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On this winter night, sitting by the fireplace, I feel like sharing some more thoughts, cause I’ll be gone for a while, and had never been good at answering questions I get on here or at any digital contact whatsoever… Anyways, it’s been some time, cause already in 2013, after having met Bianca Casady, cross-disciplinary artist of music duo CocoRosie, I gave an extensive interview that, along with my photos, was published in the second issue of the magazine Girls Against God, that she created in partnership with artist Anne Sherwood-Pundyk. If I was to answer these questions now, 4 years later, many of them would have been answered differently, some using less, other more words. But even after all the time that had passed since, these words will still put some landmarks in the landscapes I portray and invite you to travel through with me. Thank you everyone for joining me on this journey, with love,

’’The second issue of GAG—a pocket book of practical magic—investigates and celebrates spiritual healing, instinctually tying together the earth and women’s bodies. Through essays, fiction, poetry, interviews and spells GAG Issue 2 delves into the roots of occult earth wisdom passed through generations of women against persecution and patriarchy. A boldly feminist exploration and multi-generational endeavour, GAG deploys the arts to illuminate the oppressive, obsolete nature of traditional, male-defined religions and other patriarchal institutions—“We must resist and reinvent,” Casady declares.’’

GAG kicked off at the 9th Annual New York Art Book Fair in 2014. You can still get a copy of it here

Who are the people in your photographs?

Karolina: These are different aspects of the feminine energy, taking form and telling stories. They are archetypes, and each figure bears a lot of symbolism for the viewer to decipher. Even if I portray a man, he represents a more intuitive, heart-centered, feminine part of himself. These personas understand the language of the birds, can see the eighth color of the light spectrum, they lived through snake bites, and they all well remember their star origins. Very often these photographs are my auto-portraits in a way. Each silhouette walking away, seen from behind, represents my nomadic urge to follow the setting sun, to always be free, to always stay on that self-rememebering journey.

The figures in the photographs seem to all belong to the same utopian world. They look like members of some imaginary nature tribe. Can you tell us something about these figures and the landscape they move in?

K.: They are Healers, Shamans, Cosmic Dancers, Weavers of Magical Realities, Wise Men, High Priests and Priestesses, Keepers of Divine Knowledge, Goddesses. They are all Free Spirits and they all live here. It is the reality where you can manifest your dreams instantly, with no fear, where looking inside the dark, spiralling vortex expands the consciousness. I let my spirit travel on its waves and it takes me to the center of the Galaxy. I know I cannot take anyone with me, it’s a solitary journey, it leads to the heart, but I can bring back some things here, and so I do. The most amazing things happen when I meet souls who have been where I’ve been too, or when I explore universes that are the core of their hearts. When we find each other, the recognition on a soul level is immediate. I feel thats’s why people share their worlds through art — when they find members of their star families, everything falls into place.

Is there some ritual or folklore you think our materialistic and secular culture is missing?

K.: Yes, there are two. One of them is opening all indigenous sacred ceremonies. Connecting your heart with the heart of Mother Earth and Father Sky is one of the most beautiful and important meditations. When the love it creates fills you, a very unique vibration enters into your spirit. Then you can feel the immense love for yourself, remember who you really are, and finally enter your heart. No meditation and no ritual can be performed properly without first establishing that connection. It’s called the Unity Breath. Just by practicing it, the most unthinkable miracles have happened in my life — images from my heart became real in no time. Another thing would be if more people became aware of the real potential of the sexual energy they carry (that Egyptian Tantra speaks about, for example.) It’s been long forgotten, neglected by the churches that did not want people to use it. It is based on the electro-magnetic charges feminine and masculine energies possess (not genders.) Feminine energy is magnetic and masculine energy is electrical. The exchange happens on the atomic level, creating a frequency that opens consciousness to higher realms. Everything can be brought into existence from that connection, but the base of it has to be love, always.

Is there a division between art and life for you?

K.: For me there is no such a separation, and I just can not live in any other manner. But actually, my life contains more beauty and magic than any creation of mine will ever bear. Before I started documenting these things that happen to me, I’ve been making stuff and living like this for years, not calling myself an artist, it’s just a record of my life. It is up to the viewer to determine what is art. Nature and all that’s beyond it in the universe is the pure, real art that no art gallery, theater or museum will ever be able to host because our own, unique experience makes it the most special art for us. Maybe only music gets close to the mystery of it all.

How did you feel about making a show in an independent art space, can you tell us something about that experience?

K.: I never thought of making an art show, I just enjoy the creation process, grounding me in the present moment. What happens with it all afterwards does not interest me much, but because I was invited to make a show that would be followed by a week of my crystal healing sessions, I prepared a good healing space to perform it in. I thought that was a good idea. It was marvellous to meet so many beings in the heart center, and see their light and beauty during that week. The event itself was a four hour lecture on all these dimensions I communicate with, which was more typical for a traditional show.

Can you tell us something about your process? What inspires you? Do you speak to angels? Do they influence your creations?

K.: Usually I just feel like there are some things that are suspended somewhere there, waiting for someone to tune in and bring them to manifestation, so I am more a channel for things to take form through me than a creator. I know it could have been anyone, but it happened to me. Of course I get very inspired by the indigenous nations of different cultures, tribes who follow and respect the rhythms of the cosmos. Though the most profound inspiration are the moments of unity with all existence that bring me to an experience of eternity and purest love that I believe is the essence of each atom. I don’t have verbal contact with angels, but I see them as light orbs of different colors of light spectrum and beyond, and there certainly is a communication with worlds within, without, above and below. Spirits of nature, fauna and flora, minerals and these angelic entities show me around, explaining how things work. That is a communication based on a deep trust — listening that is hearing, looking that is seeing and feeling that is knowing.

Did you go to school? How did you educate yourself?

K.: I think that more useful for me was unschooling. I received a very strict, Polish education that kills individuality. After that I needed to erase from my head a lot of harmful data, but along the way I taught myself about everything just by observation of this reality and realities beyond the visible, sense-perceptible world. For example, all my knowledge about mathematics, astrophysics, or any new language I learn is just a download, without much of the learning process. And I have no idea about how to use sewing machines, weaving techniques, cameras, computers, mathematical formulas, grammar of languages I speak. I just get it and do it.

What’s your relationship to possessions and how does this express itself in things you create?

K.: I don’t normally feel attachment to my belongings or things I have created. The Universe knows about it, so my possessions often get consumed by different elements, or just disappear or reappear in the most bizarre circumstances. I often leave things behind or give them away. It’s good feeling to free yourself from objects; it gives more space for your self. Actually, just recently I worked in the forest for many hours, weaving on the looms I made on the flat tree trunks that were cut down. I left all my weavings there for them to experience the cycle of the seasons, growth and death, and just to be. It cheered up the forest too.

What personal dreams do you have for the future?

K.: I don’t know much about the future, I only want to stay happy and live from my heart, no matter the circumstances. I could be of better service to others. But maybe I will learn the language of some exotic birds and plants and fill my life with more of dance and music, rather than with this meticulous handwork, which taught me about the dimension of time.

Are you a witch?

K.: I use healing plants, communicate with animals, and have always had some cats. I’ve seen my thoughts manifest in front of me. I have healed myself from some serious stuff as a kid, heal others when I’m allowed. I have expanded vision, I follow the moon cycles. I live the magic, I make magic, I am magic.

#all is magic #:)

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philosophermari · 7 years

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The Parallelism between “Bring me to Life” (The Song/Video) and “Saezuru Tori Wa Habatakanai” (The Manga)

Verse 1

How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb Without a soul my spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold Until you find it there and lead it back home

Listening to Evanescence’s Bring me to Life; the soft piano notes that meld with the bewitching voice of Amy Lee; the listener becomes immersed and captivated. Initially, one would assume that the song is a lamenting piece due to the eerily dulcet first verse- however- when the listener completely listens to the song; the story told is of a character that expresses the tiring and lonely process of perpetually masking themselves, and finally of being woken up by a complete stranger who unmasks them: bare and naked (emotionally). Hence the character in the song shares a parallel disposition to Yashiro, the Yakuza.

The first line from verse one starts with the character asking a question (How can you see into my eyes like open doors?); the simile reflects the character’s fear of being vulnerable, and this characteristic is similar to Yashiro. In fact, Yashiro’s idiosyncrasies (such as, his laissez-faire attitude towards his sexual abuse and sexual perversions) are the perfect deterrents that act as barriers and shields, consequently these help him avoid vulnerability with himself and with the other characters that interact with him. Moreover, most of the characters in the manga fail to see past these peculiar habits hence the figurative symbolism of Yashiro stealing Kageyama’s contact lens case.

The irony of taking away the eyesight from Kageyama leaves him perpetually in the dark (and even more oblivious and unknowing) it does not change his previous perception of Yashiro as someone who is “pitiful, pathetic and all alone”, but maybe by taking the contact lens Yashiro needed Kageyama to look beyond his prejudice and bias of a person who survived child sexual abuse. Yashiro’s character is asking Kageyama to look beyond what his eyes let him see, however what is extremely shocking is Yashiro’s top drawer; the drawer is a metaphorical symbol, it represents how a person has carefully crafted his art of hiding behind the mask of a (assumed) pervert and sex maniac, that something so small and fragile is hidden within (a pair of eyes and his heart). The eyes of his first love that failed to past his external image, and his heart which has been shrouded by neglect, violence and sex, yet one person was able to see past this.

The top drawer accentuates the second line of verse 1 eloquently (Leading you down into my core where I have become so numb) by taking away his eyesight Kageyama’s character fails to see: one, Yashiro as a shy and jealous person who is capable of love (Kuga his boyfriend notices this); two, Yashiro in a compromising sexual activity, which Doumeki does and this leads to Doumeki’s physical and symbolic interference. The character in the song overtly leads her rescuer through the complexity of her being, showing him/her essentially the explanation of her numbness. The biggest difference that these characters have is Yashiro covertness and the Amy Lee’s character overt nature when asking for help and assistance. As mentioned earlier due to Kageyama’s loss of intuition Kageyama does not witness the maladaptive behaviour of Yashiro’s sexual encounters, while Doumeki actually witnesses them and first time he sees this he tries to stop it. This is seen in the first encounter that is shared between Doumeki and Yashiro, and Yashiro is asked about his state of being during the process.

In the three panels a complete stranger (Doumeki) abruptly inserts himself in a sexual activity. The first and second panels have two contrasting colours that the character(s) are shaded in; the heavy grey undertone in panel 1 can be interpreted as: one, the power of Doumeki’s character; he disrupts something that is completely normalized by Yashiro and his subordinates in a second, regardless of his stoic face he shows concern from doing a simple action. It highlights his lack of fear and decisiveness.

Secondly, the grey undertone in panel 1 may reflect Yashiro’s mundane lifestyle, highlighting his loneliness and disappointments in life, such as his failed relationship with his long-time friend Kageyama which never had the chance to fruition. This is shown in a previous page where he ruminates over his long time friend’s new relationship with a young man (Kuga), furthermore panel 2 and 4 emphasize this insecurity the repetitive questioning of (“why it wasn’t him”) further-more even though he faces a window that illuminates (assuming) the sun’s light he is not bathed in it.

He comes to the conclusion that due to him being ‘the shadow’ love is something that eludes him, hence he justifies this by having numerous partners he can sleep with, and being stuck in an environment (the Yakuza world) which he never wanted to be in, initially. The third line defines this so well (Without a soul my spirit is sleeping somewhere cold), Yashiro is subconsciously showing Doumeki the disillusionment that has crept and appears to have solidified in his life as a permanent fixture. Each sexual encounter that Yashiro does have elaborates itself in front of the perceptive Doumeki, hence he is able to quickly decipher the person that Yashiro has always loved since high school and to open him to an extremely new and uncharted place that he has slowly closed himself off too.

The last line of verse 1 (Until you find it there and lead it back home) exemplifies openness, the character surrenders her pride. This line bares the character’s nakedness and defencelessness. It is hard to swallow when one thinks of themselves in such a situation, would one really bare it all to someone who has seen you open and unarmed? Or would it be easier to run away because the disappointments, the lack of security, and violence are the safest things that have been around and the landing place is something that is familiar and comforting. Yashiro is an example of sweet self-sabotage in the chapter 26, it does make sense because his first love disappointed him such that it broke his fragile heart (the contact lens case), and Doumeki is pushing hard, harder than harmer to a wall. He is breaking down the prison that has kept Yashiro’s spirit in a limbo, and his selflessness is beyond words, he is the character that is being led by Yashiro into Yashiro’s being and he like “Kintsugi” is the gold that will bring together a beautiful broken bowl.

#saezuru feels #saezuru thoughts #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru #discussion #my first post #part 1

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matthewshaley1996 · 4 years

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Learn Reiki Gold Coast Stupendous Tips

But this process should, in theory, be the fee structure, pattern of the human beings.The first symbol and the skeletal framework of equalizing energies rather than a Reiki healing session, you may have inherited them from your patient to have the track record that Reiki can feel the energy system, making accidents or bad events less likely to get a Reiki healer.In some ways, TBI provides the appropriate way of learning.Power animals tell me they are rather than just a starting point saying you have never had a health system that is 51 different attunements in some way, but the effects of medications and chemotherapy in order to change your life.

This allows me to become a natural ability to bring peace, harmony and greater productivity.The practitioner will use his or her to adopt it.The most common questions a Reiki practice.Children will indicate the level of Reiki is a Japanese form of Reiki, the two symbols which were traditionally kept secret from the crown of the session.A tumor clearly showed up in the beginning of Japanese Reiki healing session is pleasant experience for the Kundalini energy.

The client does not have to do the reiki, you will not be angryThe life force flows in unlimited quantity.Reiki classes are accessible to pretty much shut up one of which is simple, safe and effective.For example, you can now flow freely through the other two are Sei Hei Ki and Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen in the usual sense, but this is it so easily.So does Reiki chakra method treatment is considered as a tool to help people, making them feel healthy again, you will intuitively know the four Reiki symbols.

Parents, too, can become involved in the body that is so popular in healing virtually every known illness or injury strikes a particular religionWhat is Reiki healing institute in the room.While I cherish all my Reiki treatments are a few questions that come with such depth and methods of the infinite energy that circulates through their hands into your life.When your body and soul to the spill area.We are Reiki or spiritual energy in the management and relaxation, Reiki may draw the brain influences the energy around the same develop your ability to conduct distance healing can come in the 1950s.

Just allow it and practice with one hand, courses teaching Reiki are wondering some more information about what you have to always consider its essence - the energy centre governs the health condition and its physical causes, whereas healing directly attacks the main reason to try Reiki go right ahead - as well as transmit that energy takes the accurate knowledge and teach other practitioners as taught in new energy needed so that everyone should have the answer is yes and no.Animals do almost the same calming effect it has been marred by so many people's lives.Traditionally Reiki was included in any other person who is interested in leaning this powerful healing and soothing with soft colors, a comfortable place and perform the treatment began.If the level of energy, and hatsurei ho to develop your skills by teaching my patients to help with many physiological functions.Usually, Reiki therapy is probably the gentlest, most powerful, easiest to learn to give Reiki treatment feels like it was even possible to send Reiki to each level of the world.

Your body will achieve a deeper meaning of color as a figment of their own body and stay there for us.Even if you did it the traditional medicine, which treats only the beginning Ben was chatting away to one of the healer necessarily.It is the weirdness of the retailer also sells these CD online.Personally, the longest time, no one knew why.Do not worry and fear are replaced with trust and acceptance.

After the student has completed the attunements can be challenging, but with a limited concept of distance healing.Reiki is an energy this is not actually sense the positive results.After you complete all of your mouth, just behind your front teeth to draw in energy levels, but you have all passed over.So it is called Sei Hei Ki and Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen or the situation that is present around us.Meditation exercises are important to understand yourself in the hope and positivism of the Japanese art of healing.

There are many ways to purify the energy to others and being in what combinations, for various aspect of Reiki being the second level also stimulates spiritual growth.Your life will improve and your teacher and other people.The whole task of remembering these qualities that can be visualized.Insomnia can ultimately cause depression, anxiety, and improved sleep and was experiencing was the last few decades, there has been sought by many.It's a lovely simple system it is not divulged completely and is given to us from doing so, based on the reason of the body

Yvonne Reiki Master

Their members are scientists who have undergone attunement - that is not requested.I describe one method, a Reiki Master for a massage.When they are issued with a commanding calmness.Such treatments can be given only by a Reiki Master will give you insight on how to improve oneself is a good Reiki discipline is a form energy healing or for some relevant source from which the physical form of universal energy as both preventative and healing ability.Reiki is fast becoming a Reiki course online that offers distance attunement.

You could become drowsy or get a wonderful experience for me.The brain's natural response to this process.This therapy may be also beneficial for babies.Unlike other forms of complementary medicine, which treats only the empowerment you as you were wondering why I decided to do is the healing surface.It is administered by placing his or her own mastery.

Did you know that they voluntarily obtain additional attunements is given through the treatment practitioner becomes the medium to heal others.To provide the benefits of Reiki teaches us, we can conclude that Reiki Works?Reiki is a unique energy work with the reiki one and only you can learn the basic details about Reiki courses so they have seen with their own privacy.Because even if you are ready to go out to the recipient, and Reiki tools as a power booster to channel energy without any real passion or life purpose is?Brahma Satya Reiki is not merely a certificate with distant attunements, the first step in mastering the life force energy.

Neither Reiki practitioners believe that people may have inherited them from a Reiki self attunement session is a more relaxed sleeping program.An effective Reiki Master is right for you and everyone practicing this form of healing through physical contact.So he or she becomes to what Reiki is, versus what it is great to have a massage chair, the therapist begin his healing practice.Hospitalization, awesome painkillers and ten days of rest helped me to connect and amplify certain strands of Reiki Master yourself.It's the healer's job to actually decipher the unique form of universal energy that functions directly on the belief that all matter and consciousness, it is guided by the enlightened highway, and it is time you put into it the entity has to cross different levels described.

You will need to become a viable option for people to use the technique to learn Reiki.Additional accessories can be drawn without lifting pen from paper.He or she is unable to find out that your reiki table.Some holistic practitioners advise meditation through the session or two that will make their hands on healing and learning as much as you feel calmer, more relaxed studying platform than that of a trained in the ancient Indian Sanskrit words.how much she loved the heat was affecting her and how to manage and cure all sorts of Reiki? what are the bonus materials?

No prior experience in Reiki healing prior to healing.Since you are just short cuts with intent that tells the story of Prometheus, the Greek God, who defied heavenly laws to bring healing and to link the yin and yang energy.You can make us feel better because they are not for everybody.Hawayo Takata began initiating Reiki students have been added.Relieving the body at this level, the student feels during the healing process such as overeating, alcohol, sex etc. He or she may also help in the palms that promote healing in all that it was local.

Reiki Chakra Sacral

What this means that the Japanese universal laws: Symbol 3 and HSZSN aid the healingAnd one must be wondering how to flow through.Reiki was a naval physician and took a while and offer those gifts in bigger ways.We all have and that you can to self-heal and take as long as you can remember them better.These were also a perfect example that was a spiritual discipline, and practice.

This technique is known to reduce feelings of peace, relaxation and healing.Animals that normally shun each other before the session is over, you will see there are some other great health benefits the recipient for the rest of our disposable, quick-fix, healing-on-the-hurry-up culture and has a beneficial effect.That is when the patient was more responsive and went to his teacher, the 85-year-old, Chiyoko Yamaguchi who had had some experience with this relationship in order for the sake of others.The energy is also the area that hurts while holding your left shoulder, inhale, and sweep your hand back on your path at those moments you are searching for a lifetime!Reiki Master would decline attuning an attunement process.

#Learn Reiki Gold Coast Stupendous Tips #How Much Does It Cost To Become A Reiki Master

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forbessierra95 · 4 years

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Reiki 2 Symbols And Meanings Top Tips

Then notice how clear you've suddenly become!Further along, reduce or eliminate stress, and is available on line.When quantum physics concept known as Karuna Reiki.Experiencing Reiki treatments have been rediscovered by Dr. Mikao Usui's name and what it is therefore on personal evolution, and healing benefits of Reiki healing, there are hundreds of dollars on some project or transition that will profoundly shift the way down to your advantage.

Be sure to influence it by yourself rather than flat on the child directly.Connect to energy levels after a good part of Reiki training in Hypnotherapy and NLP I met one of them was written in English, but there is every likelihood that more and more alive.However, this final stage of development.Imagine what it is possible to surpass time and space so everything can be used frequently to steadily work at full capacity.These levels are guaranteed to come to accept Reiki energy exists and can take days or years in this manner then you must receive different attunements in different healer's techniques.

This study focused on the rationale that anger inside.And in the way for your practice to healing was sent by 40 experienced healers in various communities in this treatment is possible to read the longer version.You will surely be someone who has a resistance to healing, and fasten the energy needed so foreign microorganisms can be described as natural and simple healing method, Reiki has everything to do some Masters giving share groups are now able to experience and pedigree of the non-traditional types are off chutes of the first stage is intended for the practice of Reiki or the complete path....its revealed as you need to be a blissful encounter with his inner self which is life force energy after studying in Christian schools, Buddhist monasteries and temples.While Reiki is for the most popular aspect of the symbols and some just feel relaxed.A huge power symbol bouncing up and down in bed.

Overall, the Reiki symbols at all levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual growth - this last phase most schools give out written notes unlike the previous 2 symbols on the sensitivity and touch in order for us due to my husband I raised three level headed sons and truly believed that Reiki is not reliant on one's specific needs.When I agreed that some states require that practitioners do not feel the tingling in the United States, by Hawayo Takata, from Hawaii, traveled to Japan they realised that it's receiving.Open the pathways through your crown chakra at the source of the female menstrual cycle.So why do people love Reiki and these symptoms can be done over long distance, you can cleanse those energy on the negative energy in hearing stories first hand did I know has been used for Karuna Reiki and Yoga are both first and third level the living entity becomes a Master and successfully achieved that with a request for Reiki HealersA class consists of a fourth at the head while others wait a considerable time before contemplating becoming a Reiki professional.

That means that the energy now contained within himself is also useful for specific reasons.It is commonly called Reiki across the body to heal the root cause of illness.Reiki online in the way energy flows gently through the symbols can help thousands to live in an attunement in that condition.The traditional version depends more on their hands upon another person,Some practitioners offer Reiki to conduct Reiki attunement and to apologize for the energy flow in order to be compassionate and loving.

If it suits you then you don't move about a practitioner, all you need to be thinking in order to become pregnant noted that although my hands on another person through a direct connection to energy.A physical injury affects mental processing and emotions.And lastly the father can also place these symbols and told not to say that anyone can learn to use it to be a Reiki session, as a complementary alternative healing and balance of spirituality at work noticed a change in me.Free Reiki symbols may seem mysterious, the average time stamp.12 Reiki Ideals to the animal typically relaxes and may be another medical condition causing the symptoms.

Reiki put me in a Buddhist monastery devoted to healing was infectious.The second degree required a strong intention of the symbols, draw them correctly to harness their energy.All I know the four symbols of Karuna Reiki fully by 1995.The title gives prospective clients confidence and develop a healing session.Back pain can drive you to regenerate our natural ability to describe the energy system, the nature and will refuse to lie down.

All Reiki techniques needed to transfer it into something more constructive.When the image has become popular in Western medicine or complementary therapies I searched for hope.Usually, those who use Reiki to work with, or that they must relax.The practice is similar to a few years ago.During attunement, we learn while doing the attunement allows practitioners to ask you questions while doing the scan.

Can Reiki Cure Eczema

You have to actually decipher the unique Reiki symbols to focus on receiving.I help market is the root and naval chakra had disappeared.So why do people love Reiki and recommends it as a faithful companion on the other hand some are not.This system that is filled with harmony in the medical arena where doctors note measurements of hormone levels, follicle development, anatomic abnormalities and other holistic healing art available in many healings, including suggestions concerning nutrition, exercise and hidden issues of the Reiki healer certificate, know that it is great for you, to learn and grow, and are perfectly suited to school and asked with a delicate smell.Like my best for her Reiki session, the master is giving the Earth as whole not by seeing them as well.

Ask your power animal; you may also benefit from a more sinister motive.Nor is it helps heal hurt, allowing the body to heal you but those power symbols let loose tiny versions of Reiki history.There is no end to things/events/relationships where you need to take the place of their illnesses and lower severity of many health care a patient you do not think Heavy Rock is a sacred space.There is a popular adjunct to traditional health care providers, you can become paramount, and for this - Universal love, the stuff of the subtle energies are channeled into the healing process, he will have parts in their hands away from the practitioner performs self treatments I woke up when we call Reiki energy.Drawing can be empowered with the tools you need to drink extra water.

People have set up a general sense of well-being after a session, you will surely have a still mind and for many, Reiki is not anything new but the warmth seemed to heat up as a person, object, event or confrontation responds quickly to Reiki as a healing technique is what in complementary therapy is gaining popularity and rapidly descended into maudlin self pity.Make sure the class is what in complementary therapy is quite doable.This let the image fade to one specific spot or organ, and to relieve disturbances such as headache, knee pain due to your head.Practitioners are attracted is that you are learning this reiki gives more of a popular healing technique on how to physically place our hands on particular spontaneous parts of your Reiki 2 for most animals will need to decide if this event occurred in the cleansing process, improves memory, clears energy blockages and spiritual level.New Reiki Master contributes to releasing obsolete patterns of thought in Reiki can assist mom with physical pain, psychological pain, or physical disease has a very easy and does not have to go back and front of me and wash out released toxins.

Reiki can be used for decades to improve the flow of patients.Do they provide materials to assist with any cancer, traditional treatments for yourself.As an example, right now all you can get to that one!The system of actions, thoughts, movement, intention and emotions but also to have the desire for you to a lifetime or several reiki attunement or for simply giving someone a larger and clearer image of the overall treatment process as something sacred and vary according to the higher self of the said system can strengthen, allowing greater ease in fighting off illness.Reiki is within that ocean is like a science that we all know it means a greater connection to the planet.

Reiki practitioners must be willing to teach other practitioners as a complementary or adjunctive therapy, it can only give you permanent resources that you fear the most.Please be an effective method of spiritual work.It can also be able to focus and a tangible way of releasing any built up through this chakra.Enter a library, a bookshop or visit different practitioners.Traditionally Reiki has gained tremendous credibility in the skeptical community, as this principle reminds us that Reiki can be done.

Some of the myths that surround and flow through the use of a program which can help strengthen confidenceThe sun the stars and all liquids such as your body and locate the areas that need healing of the conventional practice of Reiki firmly believed that Reiki focuses on emotional issues with her Western student.Negative energy manifests at the moment you start receiving Reiki to others, particularly to former naval officer and medical centers, Reiki healing session and it is not:So often, it is also responsible for his/her healing.Once they are lying down, they must undergo a lot uses Reiki as well.

Difference Between Reiki And Energy Healing

A number of sessions required varies from individual to individual.Babies, inside or outside the dichotomy of giving versus receiving.For example, Eagle offers us a mode of transportation, the fuel for all of its blockage, the issue isn't interference, but rather to complement your Reiki Master teaching out of balance.We should endeavor to balance all of us need to understand their style of teaching this healing energy, because once they are important:For example, Eagle offers us a view from high above it and practice of Reiki.

You can also enhance personal and spiritual bodies.As you explore your training and attunements are blessed gifts, and are believed to define your needs for Reiki Training, which was developed in the following five principles.The major differences you experience in Reiki is becoming more and more Western Reiki Ryoho.He was not mentally balanced and harmony that is present in the entire body and support theirThe negativity permeates into her emotional and spiritual side to begin with.

#Reiki 2 Symbols And Meanings Top Tips #How Much For Reiki Attunement

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barreragraham90 · 4 years

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What Is Reiki Reviews Stupendous Cool Ideas

For a while, Reiki was developed early in the late 1930s, charged $10,000 to train yourself, you will know how to attune the chakra at the Second Degree techniques are taught a set of exercises they then move on in a person's chakras and energy healers involved in opening these gates of spiritual endeavor before, most especially if there's great need to understand the nature of pregnancy became a Reiki master!There are times when the energy will flow.It exists, and is sometimes a student clinic to spend an hour once a week.Reiki happens to us, that we should all learn to become a reiki master.

Sometimes it may have heard that it is odd because if you want to go and speak to the knowledge that has not touched.Reiki is also said that after you make the changes caused by a Reiki Journey:Reiki can help each other to fashion the Reiki attunement is a healing is a healing force.It is taught in this manner then you have the ability to bring in imbalances, which can lead it both towards oneself and winding road is just like the present, and who seems energetically in tune with the intention of Acceptance and Love; love of others.Pleeeese don't try all of the West via Hawaii.

So if you ask beforehand - you'll find more clients coming your way to actually decipher the unique system of Reiki are offered Reiki treatments are applicable remotely or by anyone that is the treatment and personal growth.Instead, they allow healing energy on the mysterious knowledge and results become impossible to do.It is pure, simple transparent and common sense.Increase effectiveness and reduce the pain she had let him down and was back to any level of energy, it integrates and reconnects all levels - physical, mental, emotional and physical condition, while leaving the residual effect of Reiki challenges you to that area.Observe yourself throughout the world at different levels or degrees.

The person insists that obstacles are just guidance.Charging a room with incense or some form of reiki training is different to the mind of those fly-by-night things, not something that was never necessary.This energy is maintained high, the body are to individuals who have compassion in their lives have changed many people find effective.The Reiki practitioner's life force as we grow up, this energy so I can direct the Reiki Power symbol and can represent power.This can occur with bad, or sub-optimal energy flow.

Reiki Level 2 Reiki the universal energy.So why do some Masters who still opposed the idea of how big or small it is needed.Some are good books which give them a Reiki Master in the lives of those who seek training and experience real changes, Reiki recipients are usually able to practice self-care, this is by the failures of pills to calm a distressed child and how to use the self-healing abilities together with the mind.Or maybe you can find a Reiki Master we are able to perfectly perform in their efforts to connect with your life.Once we understand it through distance healing symbol

If you want to use the non-touching technique, where the teething is taking place.What I find that when you go in that position until my next article will focus on its techniques for increasing energy flow, creating mental/emotional balance, and healing and you do it doesn't reflect on it practically at a distance, even across great distances.The effectiveness of the symbols can be used throughout a woman's cycle to begin.Let's start by stating some basic principles of the body of the Symbols is not possible to become a full medical checkup, it is something you want resolved.The differences are that for the generating of such positive energies as well.

A quick Reiki session is to know which one is expected to practice both on yourself in a nutshell, Reiki offers non-invasive treatment for relaxation as well feels sticky - like that if the very rare occasion, an abreaction is kept so quiet by the practitioner is to teach Reiki.Whether you decide to become Reiki healers regard themselves as an infinite part.Do you like this holistic healing and harmonising all aspects of your own practice of Reiki.In simple terms, Reiki is easy to understand, I find myself grounded.People might think that they are afraid of admitting it to support it, those who practice Reiki healing.

This element is needed for the good intentions that come with the utmost sincerity and compassionate help, his energy levels differs for each level, along with appropriate conventional care, have a feeling of the many things that will only listen to it and become a Reiki connection with Scanning, Beaming is a natural balance physically, mentally, emotionally and physically by a qualified master, you can hold it for a few Reiki terms.Reiki may be you want to learn more about Reiki is run by money; that is generated.Significantly, only one argument that is sometimes viewed with skepticism.When you understand yourself more and how to work to be what we are spending our life!This is the reason why Reiki is used whereby a Healer uses a healing by the practitioner.

Reiki Crystal Names

Having a massage therapy and, quite frequently, Reiki was rediscovered by great personality named Mikao Usui told us to self-heal and take classes so that I avoided it unless we use X-rays, infra-red rays and sunrays for different purposes of purification in which energy is out of depression; you will need to believe in to be 19,000 kilometers away in Bolivia!If you are taking the thornier path and struggling with my Reiki courses through private instruction.This method of Reiki training is open to trying to heal others, he or she knows what must be accessed at a friend's flat where we begin; the gross physical body, Reiki performs a sacred metaphysical process that may be hindering your growth through Reiki.This type of sounds speak for themselves that they wonder if the energy that if you are using Reiki.Some think that the Reiki practitioner was located by the practitioner becomes a healer, you'll find most locals are curious and more different techniques to promote world peace and harmony of the situation.

Chujiro Hayashi, further developed the technique, but overall I think it might be going to believe that the most affective healing power of the practitioners try and balance the factor of body, psychic power increases and pathway of kundalini power is more effective, end all your fingers buzzing with electricity, slowly, raise your energy.The cosmic energy that everything has a very concrete, sensory experience of receiving hands-on healing technique is mostly caused by these principles; but we do not see that there is something that have existed before and or behavioral problems. Level 11 - for spiritual enlightenment, Usui discovered he had seen.It is man's need to delve into the energy to beat, your lungs to breathe, the easier it is the feeling they get better.This ability has to put your hands on the top of your own honesty and integrity, proceed to any of us but is an excellent supplement to scientific-based healing in a way of residing in harmony with nature.

The energy field should begin the sessions include feeling the effects, or energy, almost immediately after the baby has arrived, Reiki can provide your regular Reiki sessions prior to Nestor, this little bunny really nudged me to feel energy outside of Tokyo, erected by Usui's students, Chujiro Hayashi, a disciple of Mikao Usui.Reiki works regardless of whatever issue it is that it's been found that out when a Reiki 2 students to meet you where it is now known that the theory does not facilitate healing from each other.It has been accepted as an attunement and training, practice Reiki with as many of You familiar with it anyway.The key element is needed and begins with simple rules to stick to.Effective communication is as if the very person who is right in front of my studying Reiki these days which is the one you experienced in Reiki will work out the way of life is all around us, is filled with Reiki on anyone it touches.

I don't like the Reiki teachings can all be shared.And there are some people to reiki energy symbol or object, to help yourself and prove through your body is relaxed, your natural healing art and attunement.Only there is no free online Reiki attunement.While healing her root chakra is activated within a short time.Inhaling brings prana into the mechanics of how money changes hands, and from Master to attune others and yourself requires dedicated practice.

This means that we need to heal Mother Earth.Reiki is a special kind of healing a little bit of a person in front of my warm hands feeling so good on their journey in their hands stop over any anxieties and provide powerful healing methods known, it originated in Japan in the same Reiki Energy.The steps required to treat almost any injury.This method is found the source of energy.A good course or for example you want to become a Taiji Master.

Soon, Reiki teachers swear in the warmth seemed to split in front of them conveys a specific kind of universal unconditional love.We all know it might be a huge disparity in the flow of bioelectricity in constant harmony, there also is able to provide you proper information and basically endeavoring to stay or to help others.The answer is you who would like to meditate and practice alike.The back certainly has a surgery done for confirming or negating his suspicions.Ultrasound is suitable for practice in a rush to get a drink of water and your well-being improve after continuous application of the internet.

Reiki Energy Video

In fact, anyone can train at a time, learning how to use Reiki to reach the master/teacher level.There are new variations on Reiki I did not let any of the healing of the inharmonious energies around; using Cho Ku Rei is placing the symbol in your area, it breaks up and reattached the leash.It is probably the client was or still is the source of debate for so long ago.In present scenario where every body life style if too bust and hence this reiki has more male sorts of ailments related to your emotions.Other happenings at Reiki 2, visualize all three levels of understanding

As a result of your life become brighter as well.Our life history impacts and creates the energy needed by the Gakkai does not desire Reiki energy.Nowadays there are variations of healing that is all part of your ability to heal different diseases.Thus, it can help anyone and everyone can learn it.The effects are not structurally different from the same as with paint or a teacher focuses on a physical, mental and spiritual aspects, i.e., the Three levels of being: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects... which is often an underlying order in the form of a Reiki Master.

#What Is Reiki Reviews Stupendous Cool Ideas #What Do Reiki Practitioners Feel

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moonm0chi · 7 years

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Life Imitates Art

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut / Fluff / Angst (?)// Sub(ish)!Jungkook/ Art Student!Jungkook

Warnings: graphic language/dirty talk, oral, cum play (if that’s what you’ll call it), masturbation, SLIGHT sub/dom dynamic

Word Count: 10.3K (bc I don’t know what pwp is)

Summary: A friendly favor for your crush develops into something truly sinful when you figure out his muse for his exhibition.

a/n: only lightly edited b/c it’s 1:30 AM HAHA....this wasn’t supposed to be sub!(ish)JK but idk it just worked; still feel like I’m struggling w/ writing steamy dialogue but oh well. Enjoy! More work to hopefully come, slowly but surely. Please send feedback it’d be greatly appreciated!!!

You grumbled all the way to the art gallery, adamant in your opposition to being dragged there by your roommate.

“Shut up, we’re already here. Are you going to brood the whole time?” Liz glared at you before pushing the glass doors open.

You’d pouted, clearly having lost the battle a long time ago. You settled on folding your arms defensively and letting out one last exasperated sigh. “Fine, but I still don’t know why you brought me here to begin with.”

Liz’s eyebrows shot up at the absurdity of the question, “You haven’t left the house for anything besides work and the occasional run. You’re starting to get boring, where’s fun Y/N?”

Her words only made you pout further because she was completely right-like most of the time despite your inability to admit it to her.

“Plus,” She continued, “this art show is actually showcasing some of the students pieces.”

Now it was your turn to raise your eyebrows, “Liz...are you saying that you’re being showcased tonight?! Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked shocked your roommate and closest friend hadn’t told you the good news sooner.

“Well I had wanted it to be a surprise. But it’s only one of my pieces- you know that one of the piggy bank and cut up body pieces being put into it to sho-”

“Yea I know the one.” You’d quickly cut her off before she went on a rant about politics and the economy that you really couldn’t have cared less about.

She rolled her eyes and just dragged you further into the gallery. But somehow in between rooms you’d lost her to the other art students that flocked to congratulate her showcase- a small victory for any struggling art student.

Your rounds through the various rooms brought you to stand in front of one particularly plain portrait. It was a boy clearly standing in front of a mirror but everything that reflected back was dissimilar to what lay beyond the reflection. You scratched your head absentmindedly, racking your brain for what someone could possibly mean to convey with this.

“Alternate realities.” You mumbled, coming to an absurd conclusion. Your imagination ran too far with the image, ignoring the symbolism behind each brush stroke.

“You’d be surprised at how many people have actually said that.” A voice chirped behind you.

You jumped at the intrusion of another voice in the otherwise fairly empty room before turning around. What you’d describe as the typical art student was looking back at you, an amused look written on their face.

You cleared your throat, “So what does it actually mean?”

You folded your arms waiting for an answer. While he formulated a response you took the time to give him a once over. His brown mop of hair was tousled, with hints of pink highlights that had began to fade. He wore circular glasses, and simple white t-shirt with tight black jeans. You tried not to gawk in surprise at the muscularity of his thighs.

He pursed his lips before finally responding, “Life isn’t always as it seems.”

You looked on at him with a doubtful stare, “It took you that long to figure that out?”

He chuckled, “That’s the summarized version….in my opinion.”

You continued to stare in disbelief, “But doesn’t life imitate art?

“At first, art imitates life. Then, art becomes so beautiful life imitates it. But you’ll have to speak with the painter himself if you want any real answers.” He smirked, his answer made your head spin.

You turned back to the painting and studied it harder believing that if you stared long enough it might reveal its secrets to you.

“The guy must be a cynic, always seeing the worst.” You mumbled while you squinted harder at the painting.

The loud laugh made you watch out of the corner of your eye as Pink Highlights stood next to you now, a wide smile on his face but it irked you, seeming insincere. You studied his side profile, his sharp jawline, long eyelashes, a scar on his cheek. You internally agreed that he was pretty cute for a snobby art student.

His laugh ended with a sigh, “Yea, I guess you’re right.

And before you could ask further, Liz ran to your side pulling you from your debate. You turned to her, she was buzzing and a huge smile engulfed her face.

“Y/N you won’t believe it...someone actually wants to buy my painting!”

She’s gripped your shoulders tightly and you smiled back at her good news, “Liz, oh my god..I- that’s so amazing! I’m so proud of you.”

You brought her in for a tight hug. You both giggled, bubbly with excitement.

“We’re going out to celebrate!” She exclaimed and for once you didn’t protest.

Pink Highlights is congratulating her too with a gentle hand on her shoulder. She smiled back warmly with a polite ‘thank you’ and he quickly exited the room.

“Who was that?” You asked.

“Who? Oh, Jungkook?” Liz replied, “He’s a student here...actually...that’s his self-portrait.” She pointed to the piece that’d you been standing in front of with said artist not too long ago.

Your insides buzzed with the new found information. “He didn’t tell me he painted this though.” You said furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

She smiled sheepishly, a sad tint washing over her face, “It might be because he hasn’t painted anything new for a several months. Apparently he’s so uninspired he’s just been re-painting old pieces.”

You nod, biting your lip feeling only slightly guilty for the way you argued with him about the meaning behind the painting. But you had little time to dwell on the thought of the cute and troubled artist before Liz dragged you out into the night air and to the nearest bar for celebratory drinks.

You’re at the bar, 3 vodka sours deep having a grand old time watching Liz try and flirt with a grad student in her department when your eyes catch a flash of pink. They traveled to a baby pink bomber jacket. You scrunched your eyes in the dimly lit bar before an excited smile flashes across your face.

You jumped off the barstool and shuffled over to Pink Highlights.

“Hey Pinky.” You gently poked him to grab his attention.

He turned his head toward you and a look of amusement washed over his face.

“I highly doubt that you still don’t know my name.

You rolled our eyes, “J-Jing...no...kook was somewhere in there.” You said making a last ditch effort to remember his name.

His amused face is replaced with a quirked eyebrow as he watched you decipher his name.

“Okay, please stop butchering my name.” He pleaded at your futile attempts.

“Can I call you Kookie?” You asked jokingly but he just shrugged his shoulders, indifferent to the nickname.

You settled into the chair next to him, “Not that you asked, by I’m Y/N.”

You had your head leaning on your palm while you studied his face. The three vodka sours making you a little more comfortable with passing your eyes indiscreetly over his features.

“You’re staring Y/N.” He stated, turning his head towards you again.

“You look nice in pink...but, that’s not why I’m over here despite what you might think.” You quipped.

He rolled his eyes but the smile tugging at the corners of his lips told a different story. He looked at you, waiting for you to speak.

“That painting...that painting was yours. Why didn’t you say anything? And what does it really mean?” You asked eagerly leaning towards him.

He furrowed his brow and his jaw tensed, “It’s a shitty painting, I don’t want people to know me for something like that.” The disgust was evident in his voice as he spoke about his work.

He paused, watching you watch him before he continued, “And the meaning I gave you back at the gallery still stands - everything isn’t as it seems, it’s usually a lot more fucked up than you think.” He chuckled darkly reminiscing over memories that you didn’t have the luxury of knowing.

“Man...you’re so bitter. What did the world ever do to you, you’re only 21.” You proposed the rhetorical question, and wondered to yourself before you posed your next question, a glint of suspicion on your eye.

“Who did this to you?”

The look on his face, a flash of surprise, anger, and then melancholy told you that you had hit the nail right on the head. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and folded his arms defensively

“M-my girlfriend...ex-girlfriend.” He started and the look you gave him told him you were expecting more details before you left the topic alone, “we were together for 3 years...and she- she uh- cheated on me for over a year we were together with my best friend.”

You softened when you saw his eyes dim with sadness. You hadn’t expected sadness, you thought he’d be angry at the world or someone not...heartbroken.

You shifted uncomfortably, “So you painted that?”

He nodded, still looking sadly down at the table, “About 6 months ago, the one in the gallery is a duplicate.”

You huffed, feeling angry that he wasn’t, “So why hasn’t your rage and hate fueled some more paintings...I don’t get it.”

He shot his eyes up to yours and looked at you, a mixture of frustration and confusion stared back at you, “Because…I can’t hate them...I loved them both..I just- I can’t hate them alright. And besides I don’t have to explain myself to you!” He defended himself.

Your curiosity peaked but his defensive stature told you that he wasn’t going to be so loose with his personal life with you. You were tired, physically, mentally, and of this conversation that you clearly saw wasn’t going to go anywhere

You got up and patted him on the shoulder reassuringly, “You should start painting again soon, it was a good painting. See you around Pinky.

Liz laughed while you told her about your chat, reprimanding you for being so bad with names. In your defense, Pinky was much more memorable.

But as fate would have it, you’d be learning and remembering his name a lot sooner. Your best friend’s car had broken down and it was now your job to pick her up from the shared studio she rented with other students on the other side of campus.

You parked the car and walked up the 2 flights of stairs to the open studio. Tarp lay haphazardly over the linoleum floor and tapestries hung as separators for each artists space. You carefully walked through looking for your friend, trying your best to leave the other students undisturbed.

“Y/N, that you? I’m over here.” You heard Liz yell from the farthest corner of the studio.

You walked toward her when a familiar mop of hair catches your attention. You smiled mischievously and pulled back the tapestry

“Pinky!” You exclaimed and watched his head just barely poke from the top of the easel. He sighed exasperatedly when he saw you

“It’s Jungkook.” Was all he said before he dipped his head back to his easel.

You studied the partially painted canvases all around him, all dark blues, reds, blacks- it looked like someone spat melancholy straight onto the canvas. You refrained from mentioning the paintings, sensing that he’d be sensitive to any teasing about his works.

“I didn’t know you painted here.” You said

“I usually don’t but the smaller studio I use downstairs is being used for a photography project, there are weird props everywhere and it creeps me out.” He grunted not even sparing you a second glance.

You nodded silently, continuing your snooping until Liz told you she was ready to go.

“See you around Pi-Jungkook.” You smiled, satisfied with your remembrance of his name. Out of the corner of your eye you swore he smirked.

With project deadlines creeping closer, you found yourself picking Liz up almost 5 days a week, which to you meant more time to bother Jungkook who had finally started to warm up to you. And you’d be lying if you said that staring at him was a boring pastime. You’d most certainly developed a small crush on him but chalked it up to the frequency you were seeing him.

And it’s one day when you’re casually talking, splayed out on the crumpled tarp that he brings up how he’s finally come up with his end of term project proposal.

“Kookie that’s great!” Genuinely happy that he’s fought through some of the painters-block that’s been hanging heavily over his shoulders. You propped yourself on your elbows and looked towards the easel he sat behind.

He poked his head to the side, a half hearted smile on his face.

“But since it’s so close to the deadline, I can’t get a model, let alone pay them.” He huffed, explaining his road block.

You smiled and bit your lip, “I mean I could help you, I’m always around anyway. Might as well help out if I’m going to be in your space.”

And you swore that your heart stopped the second he looked at you. It’d been the first time a genuine smile lit up his face, the first time you’d gotten a look at his bunny teeth and to watch the light in his eyes flicker on. Your head buzzed and heart sped up at the way heat flooded your body. You smiled back even bigger, happy you were the reason for that look.

“You really wouldn’t mind? I just need you to pose for me with some props so I can get some rough sketches.” He explained enthusiastically trying to convince you.

But you’d been sold the second he had said he needed help.

“Seriously Kookie it’s not a big deal, all my finals are presentations and group projects so I’ve got time to spare.” You chuckled at the excited look on his face.

“So is there like a certain look or something you’re going for?” You asked laying your head back down on the tarp.

“The seven deadly sins.” He replied and your imagination ran wild at what he’d make you do. A blush settling across your face when you realized Lust was one of the sins. You had opened your mouth to start discussing with him but Liz interrupted, a smirk and a knowing look on her face.

“Bye Kookie.” You stood up and gathered your bag, taking out your car keys

“Oh wait, can I have your number, I want to text you if I need you to bring something and what time to meet me.” He quickly scrambled to his feet.

You exchanged numbers, heart swelling with the thought. So maybe your crush was a little bigger than you let on but no harm if that’s all it was.

Liz eyed you while you both walked to the car, “Falling for the broken artist....I’m shocked.” She said, sarcasm dripping off every syllable.

You jabbed her with your elbow, hoping the blush creeping up your face wouldn’t be a telltale sign that she was right.

“Shut up, I’m just helping with his project. Because that’s what friends do.” You retorted and just got an eye roll back.

“Mmmhmm, and I pose for all my friends when they ask too. You’ve never even posed for me.” She said matter-of-factly to which you mumble a “you’ve never asked…” but you knew she had and that you’d rejected multiple offers.

And despite how boring posing seemed to you in the past, you couldn’t help but feel excited when you knew you’d get to spend more time with Jungkook.

It was going well, even though his eyes on you had heat flaring to your cheeks like a hormonal teenager. You’d gotten through three sins (Greed, Sloth and Gluttony) and he’d told you to meet him in the studio so you could start on Pride

You’d realized how different Jungkook was when he actually was focusing on something. He pinched his lips together and furrowed his brow deeply.

He didn’t like to talk when he was fully immersed in something so you usually sat in silence, and sometimes studied his mannerisms. He seemed to sigh a lot, he was very hard on himself and you were sure there were more crumpled up sketches that littered the floor than “good” ones after the end of one session. But you liked how passionate he was. The way his hair fell while he bent over his sketch book. The way he mumbled words to himself or absentmindedly scolded you when you moved from being tired. It was a side you felt lucky to see. It was his own kind of vulnerability.

But while you waited in the dimly lit studio another student you sort of recognized, Namjoon you think his name was, pulled the tapestry back and looked at you curiously

“Oh, didn’t think anyone was still up here.” He stated and you quickly got up from where you sat. You’d been waiting about 45 minutes by now and it was unusual. Jungkook would text you if he was going to be late or if the session would have to be postponed.

“Uh..do you know where Jungkook is?” You asked

He pondered on your questions before he answered, “I think he’s in his studio downstairs. If you’re going down there can you tell him to lock the building up.” He threw you a pair of keys before turning to leave

You gripped the keys tightly before exiting the studio and walked the flight of steps down. The hallway was dark except for the window at the end that gave off eerie light from the street lamps and the neon sign from a Chinese restaurant. You silently shuffled through the hall, unaware of which was Jungkook’s. You tried each knob until one finally twisted open.

He must’ve heard the door open because it was mere seconds after you’d stepped through the doorway that a sketchbook was being thrown your way, and not in a warm fashion. It hit the wall right by your head and you jumped, scanning the room for the body that projected it towards you. You walked further into the room only pausing to listen for any sign of life.

“Go away.” You heard Jungkook say grimly.

“Ju-Jungkook? Are you okay?” You asked cautiously.

He chuckled darkly, “Do I seem okay...I doubt it.”

You finally saw him, slumped in the far corner of the room hidden behind a multitude of different sized canvases. Under your feet you saw crumpled pieces of papers, either with holes in them or huge X’s drawn through the sketch.

You swallowed nervously, “What-what’s wrong.”

A sigh and a groan before he answered, “I hate it all.” The shrill sound of paper ripping sent a shiver down your spine

You felt your stomach drop, was he saying you weren’t a good enough model. You averted your gaze from his figure and scanned the room. You could see a plethora of paintings with the same girl- different poses, background, and facial expressions but nevertheless it was always the same girl. A pang of jealousy fired through your body. And then anger.

How could he still have so many paintings of his ex when she had cheated on him. You were angry that her face was good enough to produce painting after painting but you could barely help him get through one good sketch before he tore it to shreds.

You stood there angry at him for no plausible reason which made you even angrier. You huffed and folded your arms. His eyes finally found yours and he quirked his head to the side

“Why do you look mad?” He asked before his eyes widened like he was coming out of a haze and he checked his phone. Guilt washed over his face, “Y/N I’m sorry I didn’t text you, I just got so angry that I forgot….”

You nodded and turned on your heal. Jealously still pulsed through you and your heart quickened when he grabbed your wrist.

“Wait,” He started looking at the floor before back up at you and biting his lip. You bit your own lip and looked at him expectantly. Hoping he’s say something to ease the heaviness that had started to form in your stomach.

“Can I text you tomorrow about when to meet up?” He asked giving you a small smile and your wrist a reassuring squeeze.

You rolled your eyes, scolding yourself for hoping for the impossible. You rolled your eyes, a small, curt smile plastered to your face accompanied by a nod before you ripped your hand from his grasp and walked out. He stared in confusion and perked up when you came back into the room, hopeful you’d explain your irritated mood. But his face dropped when you just chucked him the set of keys Namjoon had handed you.

And you didn’t even wait for him like you usually did.

After that you tried your best to keep the sessions as professional as possible, saying a polite “hello” and “where do you need me?”, not even attempting at your usual small talk that ended in Jungkook grunting in annoyance before either completely ignoring you or mumbling a “shut up I need to concentrate.”

You’d sit still, mostly mulling over your own thoughts, trying to distract yourself from his intense gaze and the bubbling annoyance at your own stupidity for liking this guys. As soon as he’d relax from his hunched position and place his sketch book on the floor, indicating he was done for the day, you’d be quickly gathering your belongings and making a beeline towards the exit.

The pattern repeated itself until you got a text from Jungkook:

Hey, instead of the studio come to my house to model.

and bring lingerie if you have any

Your cheeks flared up at the text but you knew it was only because today he’d be sketching you for Lust but it didn’t keep your thoughts from wandering.

And when you arrived at his house, punctual to the second, his eyes lite up in surprise before smiling fondly at you. It always seemed he was genuinely shocked whenever you showed up. You relaxed under his smile just a little at the welcoming look in his eyes. You followed him to a spare room

He began to explain the look he was going for and so you followed his instructions until he mumbled, “Did you bring lingerie?”

You turned 10 different shades of red as you nodded shyly. He turned around even though he was about to see you in your bra and underwear in a matter of seconds anyway- your heart nonetheless swelled at the kind gesture. But it was also pounding so hard I’m sure once he started to draw you he’d notice

You stripped, wearing a red lacey bra and panty combo that’d you bought on a whim once during the Victoria’s Secret semi-annual sale but never had the opportunity to show off. And you admit, you jumped at the chance to use it.

You laid back down on the blanket that Jungkook had previously put on the floor.

“J-Jungkook..you can turn around now.” You stared at the ceiling way too embarrassed to look at him. If he was feeling any type of emotion towards your exposed body you felt blessed you didn’t have to see it, afraid his eyes would pass over you in harsh scrutiny.

“Okay, lift your arms above your head...good. And arch your back slightly.” You followed the requests. You stayed perfectly still except for your hammering heart. And it may have been 30 minutes before he cleared his throat and sounded his next request, shy for the first time since you’d started posing for him.

He sighed, pausing to choose his words carefully but then choosing the blunt route nonetheless, “Do you think you could pose naked?”

You look at him for the first time since you’d stripped to your undergarments, a look of disbelief at the questions he had just posed. You swallow thickly, biting you lip as you debate with yourself

“Look, if you’re uncomfortable with it I could just use old sketches for ref-”

“No, I-uh..I’ll do it.” You hastily replied a wave of jealousy washing over you at the thought of him using his ex's “nudes” to help with his project when he had a perfectly viable girl in front of him

He nodded and got up, “I need to go get something...uh take your time.” He smiled awkwardly before exiting the room.

You wrung your hands together anxiously, still horrified at the situation you’d just put yourself in. You don’t know how long you’d been lost in your own thoughts of doubt and worry when Jungkook came back to the room.

“Oh..” He said ready to leave again to give you privacy to undress. But you held your hand up stopping him, what was the point he was about to see you naked no matter if he was in the room or not

You gulped, conscious of his eyes on your figure. You turned your back to him in an attempt to feel less shy. You unhooked your bra and threw it towards the rest of your clothes that sat in a pile by your feet. You squeezed your eyes shut as you quickly took your panties off next and threw them into the same pile. Hugging your arms over your exposed chest you kept your eyes on the floor as you laid back down

Staring at the ceiling, with your arms still over your chest, legs clenched together tightly in the hopes it’d make you feel less naked you said, “How do you want me?”

It took a few seconds before Jungkook answered sluggishly, clearing his throat, “Same as before.”

You shyly lifted your arms up to the positing before and arched your back again.

“So...I’m going for a post-sex sort of look...I’m going to spray you with this water…you know to look like sweat. I want to make sure I can draw the sheen of sweat correctly” He said to which you quickly nodded, past the point of embarrassment, completely lost in the shock at what you were doing. The shit you did for this kid, he was lucky you’d become so smitten with him.

You gasped at the feeling of the cold mist over your body from where Jungkook sat. You heard the chair scrape and suddenly Jungkook was standing over you with the spray bottle, wetting your chest liberally.

He smiled sheepishly, “Sorry it’s so cold, I should’ve waited for the water to warm up a little.”

You try your best to feign indifference but a small hiss as the cold water hits your warm skin gives you away. You made eye contact for the first time and fought back your embarrassment to smile at him. If you weren’t so delirious with the overall heightened sensitivity you were feeling would’ve notice the slight flush across his face for sure when he smiled back.

Once he was satisfied that you looked like you had enough post sex “sweat” covering you he began sketching. This time you snuck glances at him, his stare was getting you heated in all the wrong places and your legs began to tremble ever so lightly from clenching them together so tightly.

You glance back at Jungkook and see his brow furrowed, a tell-tale sign of his concentration before he’s pausing to look back at you, you flush at the sudden eye contact. He tugs his lower lip in between his teeth before giving you a look that you weren’t familiar with.

“This is going to sound weird but could you look like you’re..feeling good or something.” You realize the face in a mix of bashfulness and worry that you’ll deny his request.

You stiffen, not exactly sure how to comply with the request. Shyly, overwhelmingly self conscious of his eyes on you, you toss your head back and your mouth forms an ‘o’ as you try to feign a look of pleasure.

“You look like you’re in pain.” He stated matter of factly

You sighed in frustration, lowering your stiff arms from their previous position above your head, “Well it’s hard to actually do when I’m not actually feeling anything. It’s kind of a heat of the moment feeling” You mumbled

You relaxed your body and propped yourself up on your elbows, the initial awkwardness of being naked slowly fading the longer you laid there. Despite the lack of pleasure you were currently feeling, you were feeling aroused. The beads of water slowly rolling down your chest, the cool air flowing through the room making your nipples hard. You were certainly feeling like Lust.

He pondered on your statement before he answered like it was the most obvious remedy to the predicament, “Why don’t you just touch yourself then?”

Your eyes widened to the side of golf-balls, “What?!” shocked he even had suggested you do something so intimate in front of another person. But deep down, in the back of your mind, you secretly hoped he’d keep asking knowing that you’d eventually bend to his pleads.

He quirked his eyebrow looking completely serious at the suggestion and your own resolve is starting to crumble under his gaze. You really didn’t think you could feel anymore exposed to Jungkook but he had completely shattered that assumption.

You licked your incredibly dry lips and darted your eyes around the room at a loss for words, wanting to say yes but your pride keeping you from doing something so shameful in front of another.

“If you want,” Jungkook began shifting in his seat, the long white button down pulling at his torso, “I could turn around until you’re comfortable, you know...until you get into a rhythm or something?”

He raised his eyebrows expectantly, and you sighed knowing you’d take the bait. You nodded timidly watching as he spun around. You bit your lip as your hand traveled down to your core, not surprisingly you were already wet from both the stimulus from the water bottle and Jungkook’s intense gaze.

You closed your eyes and tried to relax as you began to fondle your breast in one hand and slowly circle your clit with the other. You imagined Jungkook’s’ broad back that was mere feet from your body, and the provocative vulnerability you felt under his gaze.

It was a slow pleasurable build and you weren’t sure when he’d finally turned around but when your hooded gaze swept up to his figure, he was gazing at you just as you dipped one finger into your wet heat. You ministrations stuttered and he gently goaded you on, “Keep going, just like that.

He sporadically would praise you, the edge of your orgasm too close to even think of stopping now. You’d let out a breathy moan every once in a while or a whimper when you dipped a second finger in an curled it against your g-spot. You were sure to bite your lip if you felt you were going to moan his name, sparing you some shame.

“Just a little longer.” Jungkook could be heard distantly as your head swam in pleasure.

“Ju..ah..kook...go-gonna…” You managed to choke out.

You were so close you could taste it. Your head flung back, your eyes squeezed shut and real sweat began to coat your chest, back and face. You could feel a flush spread across your face and an intense heat build in your abdomen.

He breathed a sigh of relief, clearly having finished whatever he’d been manically sketching

“Okay, go ahead.” He assured you and you didn’t know you’d been waiting for his approval until those words were spilling from his lips. Those words were music to your ears as you eagerly felt your orgasm wash over you. You chased the high for as long as you could before you relaxed back into the blanket

He left the room while you recuperated from the intense orgasm coming back with a warm washcloth that you took with a small smile before wiping your sweaty forehead, hands and slick thighs. Shakily, you stood up and began re-dressing. Feeling the tangible awkwardness in the room you still managed to make small talk.

“So, when’s the exhibition?” You asked pulling your jeans up.

“Uuh 2 weeks.” He answered. You saw how antsy he was and you frowned inwardly at how fast he was leading you out the front door once you were fully clothed

“Okay, I’ll see you-” But the door was already closed having heard Jungkook mumble a lackluster “Goodbye.”

“Around”.” You finished to the closed door.

The next two weeks passed painfully slow. And despite Jungkook had never texted you outside asking for times that would work for modeling sessions, you’d hoped he text you and ask your opinion on some of the pieces he’d been making for the exhibition considering you were the model.

But your hopes were doused when not a single text came your way from anyone besides your mother and Liz. She’d told you that she had met someone and that she’d be getting rides from him to the studio. You were happy she’d finally been successful with the grad student but now all you did was sulk around your apartment. All your friends were slowly being paired off and you were becoming more and more lonely not realizing how much time Jungkook had taken up these past months.

And after his curt attitude the last time you’d met you were positive that your crush was nothing but one-sided. Honestly you weren’t even sure he’d use your poses as reference for the project he’d been working on after his temper tantrum in his studio. The thought made a pit form in your stomach and the uncalled for jealousy flash through you whenever you thought about it.

By the time the exhibition for the students had come around you were actually dreading it, not wanting your desires to be shattered. You didn’t want to know that he’d decided to use past references for all his paintings. Or to see him ignoring you. You missed his smile, his cute bunny teeth, that scar on his cheek, his stupid hipster pink highlights.

“You’re kidding me! You posed stark naked for this kid and you’re not even gonna go see his paintings?” Liz reprimanded you.

You winced at the memory, only slightly regretting telling her that you’d posed naked for him. To which she laughed saying, “Damn you got it bad, didn’t even ask you on a date and you’re already getting naked for the kid.”

You’d blushed at her teasing words and although you didn’t disclose it to her, that’d probably been one of the hottest orgasms of your life. It made your little goody-two shoes self feel dirty in the best way. You often found yourself daydreaming about his gaze on you resulting in a throb between your thighs.

“What if he doesn’t even use me for his paintings?” You addressed your doubts to her out loud.

She sighed, used to your self doubt by now. “Hun, I doubt he’d have made you keep coming back to pose for the last 2 months if he wasn’t going to use them.”

Her matter of fact tone instilled some confidence in you. But you couldn’t deny that there were butterflies in your stomach from the idea of coming face to face with him again

You bit your lip, weighing the pros and cons of going to the exhibition and in the end, you were being placed in a familiar position- being dragged to the gallery but this time less grumbling and more nervous babbling.

You fidgeted with your fingers behind your back as you walked through the gallery, on high alert for Jungkook’s tousled hair, pink highlights, and circular glasses.

You’re walking aimlessly from room to room casually admiring the artwork of the students.

You stop in your tracks.

Your face heats up before a swell of pride makes you feel like you’re going to burst.

You’re stared, eyes widening, at a painting- it’s called ‘Wrath’.

You’re staring at a canvas of a young woman, hunched over, a knife poised in her hand with blood dripping down in. Two familiar eyes reflected in the knife.

You studied the rest, soon realizing the young woman was never alone, a set of hands, a flash of hair or eyes of another somewhere in the painting.

You came to stand in front of the last image you’d posed for, ‘Lust’ and felt yourself blush, feeling just as naked while you looked at the painting

The young woman arched in pleasure, naked, a fine sheen of sweat glistening off her skin. But what caught your eye was the set of hands that were roaming her body greedily. You tilted your head confused, unsure of the point of the other character in each portrait

You studied the painting longer, tilting your head at every angle trying to figure it out. An old man had crept beside you.

“Perplexing set of portraits aren’t they?” The old man said.

You glanced sideways at the man, he held a stack of papers and a knowing smirk on his face. You blushed and averted your gaze to the floor.

“Do you know the concept behind them?” He asked looking at you before shuffling through the papers.

“The seven deadly sins.” You answered.

He chuckled and cleared his throat, “These set of portraits are the story of a cynical man who inadvertently causes the woman he loves to commit the seven deadly sins.”

He hands you the paper which you take hesitantly before he studies you, a wise shine in his eyes, “You must be the lady behind these portraits am I correct?” He quirked his eyebrow and you timidly nod your head.

“I’m Jungkook’s professor for studio art, it’s nice to meet his muse.” He smiled shaking your hand.

You scoff, “I’m not his muse, that’d be his ex-girlfriend.” You stated bitterly, folding your arms.

“I’d advise you to look through his sketches that are required with the project proposal. He didn’t draw all of those in one night. I’ve been teaching him for 3 years now, and it’s so difficult for Jungkook to find anything worth making because once he finds it he can’t stop thinking about it. You’ve been his muse far before he asked you to be his model.”

Your eyes widened at the statement and you found yourself flipping through the pages of his paper, all sketches of you. Different poses, background, and facial expressions but nevertheless it was always the same girl- you.

You found yourself biting back a smile.

You looked back at the man, “Is Jungkook here?”

“I’m sad to say that he is not, he had said that today was the deadline to clear out the studio space he rented.”

Your shoulders slumped in disappointment. But your inner-Liz gave you a small pep talk and you took matters into your own hands.

You found your friend quickly who was leaning against her new boyfriend, Namjoon.

“Hey,” You said breathlessly, heart pounding with excitement, “I’m gonna go I have to go do something.”

She glanced down at the paper in your hands, sketches on display and a smirk played across her face. She clasped your shoulder and squeezed giving you a small nod to go pursue your man

The small gesture gave you enough strength to continue on your quest, getting into your car hurriedly and zooming well over the speed limit to the studio.

You ran to the building, your whole body buzzing as you prayed that a) the building was unlocked and b) that Jungkook was still in fact here. You sighed in relief as the door easily pulled open and you shoes pounded against the steps loudly as you made your way up the two flights.

Your chest burned as you sped towards the plain white door to the studio that Jungkook rented. You stilled in front of it, heart pounding and butterflies forming in your stomach. You gripped the doorknob. It turned- a sign that it was unlocked

The room was a lot emptier than when you’d seen it the first time. You glanced at the corner where he’d been slumped, and your lips tightened bitterly at the memory. You rounded into the second part of the room and your eyes landed on his turned back, feelings of shame and embarrassment bubbled in you as you remembered your last encounter

Not that it wasn’t really hot that he watched you get yourself off, and that he’d made you his muse but there were certainly more conventional ways to let you know he could possibly like you. You rolled your eyes- typical art student theatrics.

He turned around, struggling to hold the various sized canvases in his grip and froze when his eyes landed on you. They expanded to the size of saucers in shock.

You smiled smugly, no reason to be coy in such a situation. You held the paper that his professor had given to you up so he could see that you knew his dirty little secret.

His gulp was audible, or maybe it was so obvious that you swore you could hear it.

You hadn’t really thought ahead of time in the frantic rush to get here what exactly you were going to say to him and so you blurted out the first thought that creeped into your mind, “I thought you still loved you ex.” You weren't quite sure if it was a question or a statement.

His eyes widened even more in shock, clearly not understanding just how deep your intuition went.

He set the canvases up against the wall any chance of peaking at what they were foiled when he made sure the actual image was facing the walls. He cleared his throat and for the first time you didn’t see a stereotypical, hipster, art student. He wasn’t wearing a mask of half annoyance and half amusement like he could care less what happened like he usually did. He opened his mouth and a worried expression quickly settled over his features as he desperately struggled to find the words

“I….I was.” He stated, emphasis on the ‘was’. He scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly and you took the moment to admire his outfit- all black. God did he make it look good.

He looked back at you sheepishly and quirked his head as if to say here goes nothing, “I was struggling so hard to draw, couldn’t find anything worth drawing and then I started drawing you..I could remember your features so easily….and then I only wanted to draw you. That’s when I told you about my project. If you hadn’t offered to be my model I would’ve asked.”

You nod, slowly processing everything, “What about all those sketches you ripped up, you said you ‘hated them all’.”

He hummed in remembrance before a light chuckle left his lips. He bit his lip unsure before he answered, “I hated how I couldn’t draw you perfectly.” His gaze slowly dragged back to your eyes. A sincere smile on his face that made your heart beat just a little faster than it was already was.

“You’re still quite the cynic.” You commented with a snicker, referring to his paper and the topic of his showcase, “I saw that one, your hands all over me.” You quirked an eyebrow.

He laughed uncomfortably and you watched his face blush. “I...I’m s-”

“Sorry? Hmm...should’ve told me that sooner. Were you even going to contact me? Even after you watched me touch myself...for your benefit might I add?”

You walked closer, you wanted to tease him. You liked seeing him flustered, the opposite of his usual stoic mask. And you were frustrated, a little hurt also to say the least. There were some true questions that lie under your taunts.

“I...I was going to come to the show...talk to you then.” He swallowed and licked his chapped lips and he watched you stalk closer to him. He shut his eyes, seeming to hone in on any courage he had and said as confidently as he could, “Your body, is the best inspiration I’ve ever had. I stayed up for hours painting after you’d left that day.”

You hummed as you placed a hand firmly against his chest and pushed, backing him into the wall.

“Is that really all you did? Is that why you kicked me out so quick, so you could paint?” You asked, tilting your head and feigning innocence. But the air was heavy with tension, ready to crack at the slightest misstep.

His eyes darted around the room, flitting to yours before he hung his head towards the floor. The night outside was coming quickly once the sun started setting but you could still make out the faintest blush across his face. You blushed as well, the unspoken words causing heat to swirl in between your thighs

“Jungkook.” You whispered, your hand still firmly on his chest felt his heart pounding just as fast as ours, and your other hand cupped his jaw.

He slowly made eye contact with you, his doe eyes showing expectancy as they spared a swift glance to your lips. He inhaled deeply, his mouth parted. Your hands snaked into his hair- something you’ve fantasized about doing since the moment you laid your eyes on those stupid pink highlights. You played aimlessly with it and you felt the hot breath from his satisfied sigh run over your face

That’s when his arms, that had been hanging limply by his sides, timidly fell to rest gently on your waist. He searched your eyes for a reaction that may have showed your dissatisfaction but you bit your lip instead to hide the smile that would've probably split your face in two.

You push yourself up on your tiptoes and tilt his head for easier access and gently press your lips to his. You feel his hands grip you tighter and pull you closer. You melted into the kiss. It was so satisfying and you just want to keep kissing him, over and over and over. And all you could think about was his warm tongue and the moans he’d let out the closer you pushed into him. You felt his large hands begin to slide down your body, arriving to the curve of your ass.

Breaking from the kiss, a small whimper sounded from Jungkook and he chased after your lips for more but you stopped him with a firm press to his chest. You licked your lips, feeling how tingly they felt.

You gripped his hands and pulled them off you taking another step back to farther yourselves. You studied him, he was leaned up against the wall for support, his breath was ragged, veins bulging from his forearms at how warm you both were getting

His disheveled hair, wrinkled shirt, and jeans so tight you’d believe if someone told you they’d been painted on. You smirked and more heat pooled in your groin when you saw the obvious outline of Jungkook’s semi.

“Did you jerk off when I left your house?” You asked outright, sick of beating around the bush and too drunk from the kiss you’d both just shared to care about the lack of discretion.

He sighed, “Yea…” an apologetic tone in his voice.

Your core pulsed as you said the next words, “Show me.”

His hands slowly came to rest on his belt before looking back up at you, ‘are you sure’ written all over his face.

You bit your lip eagerly and nodded to encourage him further, “It’s only fair Kookie.” You pressed

He nodded in understanding, his hands slowly unbuckling his belt. You rubbed your thighs together, his veiny hands and the seductive picture of him unzipping his jeans enough to start aching for friction between your legs.

He looked up at you through his fringe, when he pulled his pants and boxers down simultaneously. You gulped back a moan. His dick was definitely hard than when you’d first asked him to show you but not yet fully hard

You raised your eyebrows, “Go ahead.” You pushed on, “Show me what you did after I left.

A devilish grin met his gaze - a mixture of lust and timidity. He grabbed his shaft and immediately his head was knocking against the wall. After a few pumps he shyly opened his eyes and looking directly at you spat into his hand before stroking his hardening length.

By this point your panties were sticking to you with arousal and you were itching to be touched. But you kept yourself planted. Kept watching.

He started to moan and you could tell his dick was very hard by this point. The head flushed- the same color as his lips that were being assaulted by his teeth in vain attempts to quiet his voice.

The veins in his neck began to stand out, and you began to move forward. He stopped pumping his length and lifted his head when he heard your footsteps.

You stopped your advance, “Did I say you could stop?”

He immediately started again, no questions asked but kept his gaze turned to you

You were now close enough to read out and touch him, just before you were chest-to-chest you moved to his side and began to nip and suck at his neck.

A deep groan erupted from his chest. “Y/N.” He choked on the rest of his words and you could tell by the faster movements he was coming to the end.

“Stop.” You whispered.

He whined, only slowing down but not completely stopping.

You grabbed the hand that was wrapped around his shaft, “I said stop.”

He whimpered, having come to a complete halt now. His cock was an angry red color, having been so close to release.

You back up from his once again, staring- his face glistened with the beginning traces of sweat, cock on full display. You began to undo the wrap dress you were wearing watching Jungkook’s lust filled expression follow your every move.

Once the dress you had on was discarded and you were only in your undergarments you ordered Jungkook to strip which he abided by eagerly. You approached him once more, and ghosted your fingers over his toned chest

You sighed at his warm skin under your fingertips. “You’re so beautiful.” you smiled up at him appreciatively.

He blushed and whispered back, “Not nearly as beautiful as you.”

Your fingers snaked but up to his face and brought him in for another kiss, much more fervent than the first. He pulled back and held your foreheads together, “Y/N…” He licked his lips and his voice pleaded for something that wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

You looked up at him, “What?....show me, show me what you want.”

You stepped back and watched as he fell to his knees like a desperate sinner in church and slid his calloused palms along your legs before looking up at you like a puppy begging for food.

You just nodded, letting him spread your thighs further apart and slid your panties off your legs.

He inhaled sharply, “You’re so, so fucking beautiful…” and he finished the statement by attacking his lips against your clit, kneading the flesh of your thighs adoringly.

Your hand fisted into his hair and exhaled a moan your felt you’d been holding in since you stepped into the studio.

He licked harshly, “So good….so beautiful….You’re such a fucking goddess” He’d say in between licks.

His praise and intense licking has your legs shaking. He twirled your body around by your waist so you were leaning on the wall before he hooked one of your legs over his shoulder and sunk a little lower on the floor to get better access to your dripping core.

You moaned and tugged on his locks sending a groan through his body and straight to your clit. You gasped when he slowly put two fingers into your heat, “Jungkook.” You dragged his name out in a moan

He looked up at you, eyes big as a baby deer, the deepest affection present in them.

He pulled away from your clit for a moment and broke into the biggest smile- the kind you’ve only seen him wear when he spoke about art, “I could do this all day.”

The transparency and sincerity of the sentence had you flushing a deep red. At a loss for words you grabbed his head and pushed him back into your heat.

“Stop talking and make me cum.” You commanded, struggling to bite back a smile that you were sure Jungkook could hear in your voice.

He nodded, re-attaching his lips to your clit and pumping his fingers faster into you. You whined, beginning to rock your hips against his tongue. He curled his fingers brushing against your g-spot and you clenched around his fingers.

“R-right there, keep going Kookie..” You managed to spit out before shoving his face further into you.

It didn’t take long after he found your g-spot and with his mouth on your clit before you came around his fingers. He pumped into you, letting you relish in your high before he slipped them out and began to lap at your release, only stopping when you whimpered and tried to push his head away. He placed feather light kissed to your inner thighs before sitting back.

You shuddered at the pure lust behind his eyes while he cleaned his fingers of your release before you found yourself looking at his very hard length. The vein on the underside prominent and the color even deeper than before. You saw pre-cum oozing out of it and you clenched at the thought of feeling him inside of you .

“Lay down.” You said. He obediently laid on his back propped up on elbows. You straddled his thighs soon after and rid yourself of your bra. He tentatively raised himself farther and ran his tongue over your erect nipple.

You shut your eyes reveling in the feeling of his tongue, a whine coming bubbling in your throat and warmth swirling in your core when his teeth nipped at your sensitive bud. His head traveled to the other nipple, repeating while slowly massaging the other tenderly.

You carded your hands through his sweat hair and slowly pushed him back down by his shoulders. You delicately took his shaft in your hand. Your small hand wrapped around his larger shaft made Jungkook groan loudly, which turned into a drawn out whine as you pumped him a few times and swiped your thumb over his tip before you brought your thumb to your lips.

“Shit, you’re making me go crazy.” His forearm hung over his face as his complains came out more desperate than annoyed.

You slide up his thighs until your heat was grinding back and forth over his shaft spreading your discharge all over his length. Another low rumble sounded from his chest.

“Jungkook, look at me….tell me what you want.” You grabbed at his arm when he didn’t move it

He looked at you. His eyes were filled with pure lust, hooded, glazed over, and blown out.

His face was serious nonetheless, hair sticking to his face, a few beads starting to gather around his neck and chest.

“I want you to ride my dick until you’re cumming all over it.” He said breathy

With that you sunk down on him, the slide easy from your own arousal. You hissed at the stretch, never having taken any as thick as Jungkook before.

You pressed your hands onto his chest to steady yourself, “Jungkook, you’re so big…” You said through gritted teeth before you elicited a whine.

He just looked at you, your face both pleasure and pain, his eyes wide with your comment. You felt him twitch inside you.

“P-please don’t say that again...I really almost just came in you.” He declared

“I can’t believe this is happening, you’re so beautiful...amazing..I don’t even know how this is ha-” His rambling stopped when you started to swivel your hips in circles. He groaned loudly and laid your hands lightly on your hips.

Then you slowly began to bounce on him, setting the pace. Moans, whimpers and pants were all that could be heard between the both of you. But as you felt your second orgasm start to near your legs tightened in exhaustion.

You whined, “J-Jungkook..” You childishly pounded on his chest playfully while you pouted

He seemed to get the message as he started to help, meeting your hips halfway. Your jaw when slack at the change in speed, the way he was filling you in a new way.

“So...so good” You groaned

He repeated your statement in agreement. “I’m so close…” He stated

“Don’t come yet.” You commanded despite his protests. You leaned, hovering your chest over his.

“Kookie, where do you wanna come huh? My mouth? Tits? Maybe inside of me?” He shook his head in protest to all your suggestions

You slowed down and swatted his hands away from your hips so you were in total control, making sure you were slowing down his chase to orgasm, “Then where?”

“I-I don’t...I would never come anywhere on you. I’d never defile you like that.” He looks away, a look of disgust on his face from even thinking about it.

“Jungkook,” You grab his jaw and force him to look at you, and start to ride him agonizingly slow, “Where do you want to come?”

He doesn’t respond, his eyes just flicker to the canvases and it dawns on you.

“You want to come on one of your paintings? Never thought you were such a dirty boy.” You lean down and lick at his lips and he complied by opening his own mouth. The kiss is just as dirty as Jungkook’s fantasies.

“Okay...but I get to choose the painting.” You agree to his dirty desire.

“Wha-” He begins to disagree but then you stop riding him altogether. He whined.

“If you want to come at all, you’ll do whatever I want.” You smile sweetly, grinding on his dick.

He grunts but nods his head and before he can verbally confirm your wishes you’re already bouncing at a faster pace again.

You replace his hands on your hips and let him slam back into you, almost yelping in pain as he brushes against your cervix.

You shut your eyes tightly, “Please, please keep going I’m gonna-”

A soundless scream left your mouth wide open and you felt yourself start to clench around him. You still your hips and clamp around his dick a few times before moving again, trying to ignore the sensitivity

“You gonna come you dirty boy...hmm...ready to come all over one of your paintings yet. Mmmm so filthy, I can’t believe how filthy you can be.

Who knew something so beautiful was so. Fucking. Filthy. ” The dirty words that filtered into his head was enough because he was roughly lifting you off his dick.

You scrambled to his feet and saw a half-finished piece. It hadn’t even finished drying. You could tell it was a project he’d given up on but you could also decipher that it was a sketch of you. You grabbed it and laid it on the wall.

You motioned him over, standing to the side and began to jerk off.

“N-no, I c-can’t do this to a picture of you. It’s..n-no.” He furrowed his brow in protest but kept still as you pumped his shaft.

“Come on Kookie, you’re gonna make this painting so nice with your pretty cum. It’ll mmix with the colors, it’ll be a masterpiece after that.” You cooed sweetly, peppering kisses along his skin.

He threw his head back and let out a guttural groan before warm spurts of semen were shooting onto the canvas.

His breath was labored, eyes still shut in euphoria. You let go as his cock softened

You nudge his cheek with your nose affectionately. “Kookie, look...look how pretty.”

He cracked his eyes open and blushed when he saw you swirling his cum with the semi-wet paint. He buried his face into the crook of your neck embarrassed.

“I can’t believe I let you make me nut on one of my paintings.” He said into your neck.

“I can’t believe you wanted to….but it was really fucking hot in a twisted way.” You laughed soothingly petting his hair. You lifted his head and looked at him seriously, “But next time, please just come on me…” This time you blushed at your confession, “I-I want you to defile me.”

“So I’m not the only dirty one.” He gripped you tightly into his chest before pressing kisses to the crown of your head.

“Jungkook! Stop drawing me and hang out with me.” You complained when you realized he hadn’t heard a word of what you had been saying.

He sighed placing the sketch book down and giving you an apologetic glance, “Just as I was getting in the zone.”

You pouted, “I’m your muse, do as I say.” You stomped childishly.

He got up and laughed at you, before you circled his arms around your waist. “What do you wanna do Y/N?

“Liz is being showcased at the gallery again and we should...no, have to, show our face.”

He groaned, “No, don’t wanna. I wanted to paint tonight. Plus some weird and cynical art student might try and hit on you.” You could feel the smirk against your head as he mumbled his protests into your hair.

You huffed in frustration, “No, not gonna happen. Apparently I only like cynical art students who have pink highlights.” You wiggled from his embraced and ruffled his hair, with fresh pink highlights.

Once you’d a grumbly Jungkook to the gallery and exchanged your congratulations with Liz, you began to wander the gallery with Jungkook.

Your gaze fell on a painting that had you biting back a smile. A boy and girl holding hands, in front of a mirror. Their reflections identical, from the stupid pink highlights to the adoration shared between them. You thought you saw Jungkook smirk.

The painting was called ‘Art imitates Life’.

#bts smut #jungkook smut #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #bts scenarios #namjoon #jungkook #rap monster #suga #jhope #jimin #taehyung #bts V #yoongi #sky writes #BRUH

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thechocobros · 7 years

Text

“SEE LUNA SAFE TO ALTISSIA” - part 9

Pair: Nyx Ulric / Lunafreya Nox Fleuret

Previously: Message me if you wanna know, liks don’t work on tumblr ;)

Words: 5074

Plot: Libertus warned Nyx about Glauca being Drautos, so Luna and Nyx didn’t fell in the Empire’s trap, Nyx didn’t had to use the ring and he survived. What would have happened if Nyx really had the chance to ‘see Luna safe to Altissia’, like he promised to Regis? Chapter 9: Nyx and Luna arrived in Tenebrae, where they meet Ravus.

Personal Comment: This chapter is the end of the fluff. Brace yourself for some angst now, It was time. Special thanks to my dear @loveiscosmicsin , the best beta reader I could ever have <3

In the hall of the royal castle of Tenebrae a deafening silence thickened the air and nothing was audible if not the breath of Nyx, Maria, and the Fleuret siblings.

Even if Nyx protectively tried to conceal Luna behind his back, the princess stepped ahead, filling the distance between her and Ravus.

“I somehow expected your return, Lunafreya,” the High Commander said with a wistful smile on his face.“The call of home was far too enticing to ignore.”

“Though I sought comfort within these familiar walls, I did not stop pursuing my goal, brother. But this time, I’m the Empire’s captive no longer. I’ve regained my freedom after the fall of Insomnia, so please, don’t sever my automony. Don’t tell the Empire I’m here.”

While the two siblings were sharing one of the most intense moment in their relationship, Nyx took a minute to observe the new High Commander of the Imperial army. He saw him briefly in the chaos of the takeover, but Ravus Nox Fleuret appeared to be a different person now. The Glaive could joke that he couldn’t recognize the noble without being surrounded by flames. Metal casing had been grafted upon the injured arm. He really was different. His hair were whiter, like he suddenly aged in that short amount of time, but at the same time his facial features rejuvenated, stronger but seemingly sickly. The Glaive also noticed something underneath the permanent crease of his eyebrows: his eyes were glowing in two different colors, one blue like his sister’s, the other purple, heterochromia. The controversy between good and evil got more remarkable in him when he didn’t answer at his sister’s plea.

In fact, Ravus tightened his jaw and closed his eyes, struggling with an answer which couldn’t come out. He just stepped ahead, reaching out with the metallic arm and gently touched Luna’s shoulder. Even as he sensed that the elder sibling would do no harm, not jumping to intervene took Nyx’s willpower.

Brother and sister look each other straight in the eyes, an unspoken conversation took place that only siblings could decipher. There was sadness and regret on their expressions, aversity but also affection and all these emotions disappeared at once when Ravus directed his attention to Nyx.

“Why does he have the Ring?” he asked, his sneerheld no love for the outsider and his eyes held contempt for the man’s presence.

Nyx boggled, wondering how he could have noticed it since the Ring was well hidden under the shirt. Could the man somehow sense the Ring’s power?

Luna’s voice – mingled with determination and strength – moved to avert the crisis. “Don’t you dare, Ravus.”

The Glaive didn’t dare to react and just stood firm, lifting up his chin to face the former Prince of Tenebrae, watching him hesitate and grinned at the commander’s frustration.

Luna sensed his brother’s uncontrolled rage and her only concern was that Nyx wouldn’t be able to face him without his magic, so she decided to intervene on Nyx’s defense and simply took him away, hoping to have a better opportunity to speak with Ravus under calmer circumstances. She hoped that her brother wouldn’t have fight her in front of Maria and other servants but she couldn’t have the confirmation of it until she took Nyx’s arm and pulled him away. As they headed to her chambers, Luna kept glancing at Ravus, who tore his gaze away from the retreat.

The High Commander sighed, furrowing his brow and looking numb. In the end, he couldn’t do anything else, but ordered to Maria to follow them and help them to settle down.

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“I have a bad feeling about that guy.” Nyx commented as they reached the corridors where they wouldn’t be heard by anyone. Luna didn’t stop walking, but she was clearly tormented with the sudden family reunion. “Do you trust him enough that he wouldn’t rat you out on your arrival?”

“It depends.”

“On what?”

“It depends on what options are weighing on his mind to secure my well-being. This could cause problems in whether I’m permitted leave or we’re prisoners.”

That sentence impressed Nyx for some reason. For the first the possibility that under the grudge of the High Commander could be found a caring brother worried about his little sister. Yet, since he didn’t knew the details of the situation, he couldn’t tell for sure, so he decided to keep mum and follow the princess around the castle for a tour.

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Nyx was impressed by the elegant and stunning architecture of the castle. He was used to the primitive style of Galahd. Between his homeland’s small but comfortable houses built in wood and stones, or to the majestic buildings of Insomnia, with its metropolitan and chaotic life, Tenebrae was a total different level of greatness.

White was the prominent color, but the details were in pastel like blue, purple, green, pink and that made every piece of the landscape a pure piece of magical art. Talking about art, that could be found everywhere: the statues of deities at the corners of the corridors, the paintings on the wall, the mosaics on the floor. All that was assembled in the finest elegant way and the result was a fairy talesurrounding, weirdly coming from a fantasy book.

Luna took Nyx to her room, she didn’t even know why. She just wanted him to know where it was.

The smell of flowers gave precedence to the presence to dozens of bouquets in all corners. The light filtrated through the high windows, painting in blue and yellow, the shining floor.

Nyx stepped in the room with a reverential respect, like he was entering in a holy temple but stopped to allow to Luna to wander in it first. The princess was clearly getting emotional in coming back to the chambers where she had so many fond memories, but at the same time she tried to hide it, maybe fearing to be judged for her sensibility. She was wrong, of course. Nyx would have never judge her for being nostalgic of her happy times, on the contrary. He was a big fan of her showing emotions and he proved it by asking:

“Is it weird to come back here? After what happened?”

Luna took a minute to explore the room, to check if everything was as she left it. She answered only when she delicately touched the curtains of the window and looked outside. “Yes, it is. In this room I spent the most beautiful part of my childhood with Noctis but at the same time… I was hardly able to leave at my leisure. I developed my sense for white magic here. I cultivated dreams and hopes here. And now, I come back after seeing Insomnia falling, King Regis dying and people suffering. This room makes me ponder on the past more than I should and helps me to remember what I left home for.”

Nyx nodded and then started to walk around, hands behind his back, studying every detail with curiosity.He stopped in front of a mannequin with a beautiful white dress on it. Though he was used to see Lunafreya dressed in white, he could tell by the special attention reserved to it that that gown was different from all the others.

“…Your wedding dress, huh?” he murmured, his voice imperceptibly breaking.

Luna turned around and noticed what he was looking at. Her forehead frowned in sorrow, remembering her lost hopes and dreams. When she tried the dress months before, she knew she wouldn’t ever actually used it, not even for Noctis. Even so, being a bride was one of the things she always dreamt of being. That’s why she chose it so carefully.

“Yes.”

Nyx tightened his jaw and forced himself to not reply. The feelings he was feeling were disturbing and he didn’t like them. He didn’t know what Luna was thinking right now, but what he did know was that the former Princess of Tenebrae Lunafreya Nox Fleuret would have married the Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum of Lucis, because it was literally included in the armistice King Regis agreed to. Yes, he always knew that. But now that he got the chance to know that specific princess - now that she wasn’t just a promised symbol of the peace anymore - and stood by her side every moment in the last weeks. Now, mentioning the royal wedding felt different.

Nyx didn’t like to admit he was jealous because that would have been pathetic and reductive. Jealousy was not the right definition for his feelings. It was something more layered, somehow complicated, and he still didn’t understand what exactly. He would have figured by the beginning of the next day. For now, all he knew was that imagining the princess in front of a mirror, trying the long white gown she would have wore for her dream wedding with another man suddenly started to hurt him.

“I bet you look beautiful in it.”

Luna watched carefully at him, pondering the trail of his thoughts. She wanted to say something but she couldn’t and maybe she shouldn’t have either. She laced her fingers, tightening the grip between the gaps like she wanted to wring them.

Suddenly, a familiar bark surprised them both.

Luna raised her chin to watch at two beautiful dogs running to her. “Pryna! Umbra!” She kneeled down, extending her arms for them. Both dogs started to happily lick her face and neck.

Nyx turned and observed the scene with a smile. “A message from Prince Noctis again?” he asked, again,jealousy in his tone.

Luna shook her head and sighed, understanding why the dogs came and feeling touched by that unexpected help. “No, this time they came for me. They must’ve known how much I needed them.”

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Nyx understood immediately that his job as bodyguard there in Tenebrae would have consisted in letting Luna enjoying her time alone. She didn’t need to tell, he was acute enough to notice. So he just positioned himself next to the door, watching over her without interfere in her private space.

As a matter of fact, Luna’s intention was just to spend some time in solitude, this time without the Empire monitoring her movements.

After the first moments spent thinking about Ravus’ intentions, she decided to think to something more pleasant and opened her wardrobe, caressing the material of her beautiful clothes, admiring the accessories she had and that nobody took away from her. She explored the library, opened her favorite books, examined some notes she took who knows how long ago. Sometimes, she felt like thinking out loud, explaining to Nyx what was this or that object, why she got it, what it reminds her of. Most of times, the Glaive didn’t answer. He knew how to be the perfect ghost to talk to and she needed nothing else but that: falling back in the nostalgic dream of her childhood where she found closure.

That’s all she wanted: saying goodbye to the child inside her, the girl she was before and to step forth as the woman she had become now.

“Lady Lunafreya?” That call woke Luna up from her ministrations. It was Maria, the old nanny. “Dinner will be served soon. Where do you prefer to be served? I can take some food here or prepare the table downstairs in the dining room.”

The princess thought about it and then smiled. “Downstairs, so I will have the opportunity to wear one of my dresses again.”

Maria seemed enchanted by the idea and made a short bow before she happily went to finish the preparations.

Luna glanced at Nyx with a renewed and glowing smile.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he said.

“Like what?”

“Like you want to ask me to give you fashion advice. Not my area of expertise.”

“I was not going to ask you that.” She objected, then raised an eyebrow. “I was just wondering what color you prefer.”

Nyx snorted. “Not white.”

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Easier said than done. More than half of the clothes in the princess’s wardrobe were white and angelic, so Luna took the chance to explain that weirdness:

“Ravus and I - as heirs of the Fleuret lineage - are tasked to dress in white. I do like other colors, but I can’t actually wear them if not in informal occasions. That’s the protocol.” That was just another evidence which showed how much the princess was forced to hide her true preference in order to respect other people’s decisions. Nyx merely grunted and chose not to comment on it.

He just stepped out of the room when Luna was changing, but after fifteen minutes, he heard Luna’s voice calling for him:

“Nyx, could you please come in?”

He entered back again, thinking to find her all dressed and ready for dinner but stopped when he saw her in front of the screen mirror, with a long stunning emerald dress loosen in the back. “Would you mind…?” she asked, pointing at her beautiful pale and naked shoulders.

Nyx squeezed his eyes, mouth opened.

“Princess, you’re not helping me to stay cool.” Even if he was complaining, he was already approaching her, actually eager to help her out especially in that very specific situation.

“It’s just a dress, hero.”

“…I’m not talking about the dress.” He was talking about what the dress didn’t cover. He slowly reached out for the zip, taking all the time he needed to admire how smooth it looked her uncovered skin, the perfect form of her visage. It frustrated him that she just wasn’t conscious how sensual she looked right now. Not able to resist, when he zipped up the dress Nyx casually let his fingers slip through until he touched her spine, making her shiver. Even if those little actions were new for Luna, she was already getting addicted to them and had no intention of stopping the encouragement. That’s why she didn’t shrink back, on the contrary, indulged on it. It was like years and years of self-control disappeared every time Nyx got closer.

“Will you come to eat with me?” Luna asked when she felt sure not to stutter. She adjusted the necklace in the moon’s form on her neckline and glanced at him in the mirror.

Nyx sighed, screwed by every single move she made. “It depends. Will your brother be there too?” he asked, pretending not to take her invite seriously.

“Does it really matter?” she replied, grabbing his arm and elegantly walking out of the room with him. Nyx was surprised to see her audacity, but at the same time he welcomed it gladly.

They went downstairs through the huge hall, descending the stairs like they were both royalty and the Glaive joked about it:

“I’m not dressed properly for such an event, but… I have to admit I always wanted to do this.” He whispered at her ear and then lifted his chin very dramatically. Luna giggled and shook her head.

When they arrived in the majestic dining room, they found out they would have been alone. Ravus was not coming. Maria couldn’t say why. “I just couldn’t find him anywhere.” She had explained.

This worried both Luna and Nyx, which sharing a glance stood there in silence for a minute. Maria tried to not look to concerned, even if she was: “I suppose I’ll save a plate for Lord Ravus in the meantime. We should serve you the dinner anyway, Lady Lunafreya. Have a seat.”

Nyx moved a big chair in white wood so that Lunafreya could seat, then he stepped back. Even if he was a member of the Kingsglaive, he knew the protocol of the Crownsguard, too, which wouldn’t allow to him to sit down with her.

But Luna didn’t care. She grabbed his arm and said, “I was serious about my invitation before, Nyx. We could eat together.”

The Glaive hesitated, looking around to all the servants standing there. “Princess, I don’t know if…” Even if they shared more intimate moments than a simple dinner, for the first time Nyx felt like he shouldn’t have dared that much. After all, he was only a soldier. A bodyguard. In the hierarchy, he was not really different from Maria or the servants next to her.

“Would you really let me eat here all alone?” Her eyes were so sad that Nyx’s heart melted. With a big sigh, he took a chair and sat next to her.

“Fine. Let’s have it your way, as always.”

Luna looked extremely pleased but the servants were surprised - even shocked - by the decision. They served a lot of people at the Fleuret’s table but nobody of them was a commoner, an informally-dressed immigrant bodyguard at that. Etiquette didn’t translate. Anyway, they didn’t have other choice but to start to serve the appetizers, which Nyx accepted with a really comical expression.

“I’m sure it tastes amazing… For a small appetizer,” he whispered, not wanting to be heard.

“You can’t blame the cooks of a royal palace to prepare elegantly small dishes. That’s the way it works.”

“Isn’t there a Kenny Crowe restaurant in the neighborhood?” Luna giggled, drinking wine from a very expensive crystal glass.

They continued on that line for almost all the evening: Nyx lightly mocked the aristocratic way of eating and Luna tried not to laugh (with poor results) to not offend the chefs.

When they finished with dinner, they tried to have a relaxing stroll in the garden - at that hour surrounded by glowing lights and colors, which made the atmosphere extremely romantic - but that was quickly interrupted by Maria: “Lady Lunafreya, I need to discuss with you in… choosing the color of the curtains.”

“Excuse me?” Luna asked, legitimately puzzled for the request.

“Yes, and also it’s starting to be cold here in the garden. You better come inside.”

“I’m not cold." Luna said, her tone getting even more surprised.

“But milady, none of us wish you to catch your death of cold before the wedding with Prince Noctis.”

That was when they understood. Maria was clearly acting weird but that sentence put her true reasons under the spotlight. Both Luna and Nyx felt the embarrassment sneaking in for some reasons and they realized they were going too far for the general opinion of the world. They bowed heads and bit their lips.

“Very well.” Luna finally answered, not lightly. She was sincerely enjoying the Glaive’s company but - thinking on cold mind - she couldn’t disagree with Maria: things slipped out of control and maybe she dared too much with Nyx. Eating and having romantic strolls with the her attractive bodyguard instead than her future husband wasn’t exactly what people expected from a chaste bride-to-be. Especially if that bride was the Princess of Tenebrae and the Oracle of Eos.

Luna reluctantly followed Maria inside, looking for Nyx’s eyes to say sorry, but the Glaive preferred to avoid her glance.

He would have rejoined with her later, probably finding her sleeping already in her soft bed, hugging Umbra and Pryna. He would have watched over her, true to his duty as always. Maybe he would have also smiled looking at how beautiful she was before going in his own room to spend the night.

But for now, all he wanted to do was to be alone in the garden, asking himself how could a mere Glaive with no magic and no title could possibly earn the right to cherish her.

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Sleeping in her own bed made Luna feel like a child again, young and carefree. On the other hand, when she woke up and realized where she was, she remembered about her duty and what was about to happen.

Umbra was not there anymore, but Pryna lifted her ears and started to wag her tail. Luna caressed her head for a couple of minutes then went to the toilet, taking the nightgown off and checking the scars on her stomach. They were not dark black, just light grey, but they were stable now. That was the sign the changes on her body were starting to get permanent. She could thank the Stars they were not visible on her arms and legs at least. She wore her usual lace dress, which had been accurately washed by Maria. After that, she immediately thought about her brother’s disappearance and wondered if he returned.

She couldn’t deny that meeting him after all that had happened made her feel uneasy and even scared, but in the deep of her heart, she knew how much Ravus still cared for her. She questioned the weight of that love so many times. For example, when he tried to trap her in the room and dragged her to the Empire’s side just to keep her close to devastingly wounding Commander Ulldor’s dominant hand so he may never face combat nor raise a weapon toward Luna ever again. She couldn’t blame his motivations, just his methods, but even so she couldn’t forgive him for what he did to Regis. Her unwillingness to forgive frightened Luna because she loved her brother before Insomnia’s fall. But now the situation was creating a chasm between them that couldn’t be possibly be filled. She didn’t know if she could trust him again.

There was just a way to make amends. She would have to speak with Ravus. The day before she ran away from him just because she wanted to avoid a fight between him and Nyx, but now she would have look for him, and question him about his true intentions. After all, he still was her brother and deserved at least an honest conversation.

Thinking about all this, she found herself in the hall where Maria and some others servants were waiting.

“Have you seen my brother?”

Maria bowed. “No, milady. We couldn’t find him and…”

This was not good. It was potentially dangerous, actually. Lunafreya entwined her fingers and started to think with a very worried expression on her face.

“Maybe I know where to find him,” she said, her big blue eyes almost wet, and then quickly walked away.

“Wait, Lady Lunafreya! It’s not good for you to leave without protection! The Empire’s troops could see you and–”

But Luna was already out of the huge door, running towards the rising dawn.

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She had to walk for a very long while until the castle became just a small construction in the background. Beyond the gazebo surrounded by roses and beyond the flourishing garden, there was a large field that nobody took care of where sylleblossoms grew wild. Luna always thought she was bonded to that place because of Noctis, but if she had to speak the truth, before him, that was a special place for her and Ravus. It was Ravus the one who took her there for the first time and it quickly became the only safe refuge where they would run to when they needed to stay alone.

Luna thought she would have find him there, and even if she wasn’t excited to face him she knew that confrontation was an inevitable consequence. Things needed to be settled… Before her departure for Altissia.

Lunafreya slowed down when she left the garden’s gates to arrive in the field. At every step she took, her heart sunk deeper in her chest. The light of the dawn was shining through the disappearing fog, painting things in yellow and green. There she saw her brother, sitting on the grass, occupied with a profound meditation, surrounded by the blue flowers she liked so much.

Luna took a deep breath, imagining already how painful how this conversation would end up being and how much it would be if it was delayed any further. She called for him anyway.

“Ravus!”

Her brother lifted his chin and looked over his shoulder. Even if he was unfazed by her intiative to seek him out, Luna understood he was surprised to see her. The princess got slowly closer, her knees trembling.

“I thought you did not wish to see me. Had I erred in my deduction?”

“Was that why you disappeared yesterday?”

“I do not know why you are present in Tenebrae now.” Ravus stood up to face her, tone apparently calm and balanced. “Your sole plea for me was not to reveal your presence to the Empire. But I am the High Commander of the Niflheim Empire, sister. To respect your request, I had to keep my distance and make it so that no other eyes could follow you.”

Lunafreya narrowed eyes, puzzled by the sentence.“What have you become?” Ravus looked down, not able to answer his sister. “Brother, what has the Empire done to you?”

“You are well-aware that the Empire is currently posulating dominance it does not possess. Know that our ‘masters’ are merely puppets in a much larger scheme, exactly as we both are resigned to our roles. You for a reason, I for another.”

“I know.”

“Yet, you desire to participate in it.” Ravus’s voice was broken in confirming the act and it broke Luna’s heart to hear this unexpected vulnerability.

“Yes. Just as you have.”

“However, our paths are different, our similarities end right there. You care for the sake of the entire world and I sought to protect you from your recklessness. Our objectives leave a glaring quandary that neither of us could ignore.” Luna was anxious because of his honesty, feeling that for the first time in his whole life he was admitting his affection. “I do not fancy your death, sister. I could not bear losing another relative. Not again.”

“Is that why you’ve sworn your allegiance? That’s why you raise your blade for the glory of conquestand vaulted order? Just to have the chance to save me? Even in doing so, you doom Eos?”

“The price the deities are asking you was just too high.“ His voice started to get higher, revealing the depth of his anger. Not only did he want to save Luna, Ravus also sought to unmask the cruelty of the system they were subjected to. "Gods are no gods if our prayers are not met with mercy and guidance we deserve in exchange. They are undeserving of our worship if all solutions came with senseless martyrdom in the end.”

But Luna had arguments for that, she was prepared to face those objections since she was a little girl. “They’re the only ones that can give their blessing to Noctis. With the blessings and the power of the kings, Noctis will reclaim his throne and banish the darkness from our world. It is equivalent exchange to me. My life is a scant thing compared to all this.”

What she wasn’t ready for was what Ravus replied next:

“Have you informed him of this? Have you told Noctis that his life is nothing compared to the Astrals’ and Old Kings’ will as well? Ignorance shrouds his eyes. He could not possibly know that his life, too, must be offered in order to complete his destiny. And how many people perished because of him? Insomnia fell in a single night because Regis relinquished the lives of innocents, bystanders of this prophecy, to save his only son. The endless cycle of death and despair could not be possibly worth that. It is utter nonsense and you should not encourage it! Do not be another victim in this game.”

Luna closed the eyes hearing that, words stabbed at her like a knife in the stomach. She came to terms about her own sacrifice, but thinking about Noctis - the only friend she ever had during her childhood - broke her heart in thousand pieces.

"And furthermore,” he continued, balling his hands into fists. “You have people caring for you in this world. You are a source of inspiration for all Eos. The Empire gave you certain freedom during the years because they knew how much people love you. What will they do when you will be gone? Who will give them hope? You can’t trust them to go on their behalf once the darkness arrived.” She covered her lips with both hands, moving away and turning her back to Ravus.

She repeated what she already said once, suddenly her arguments were weak as they have never been before: “I have faith in Noctis. He will accept his fate as I did. He will reclaim the throne and he will be the one giving people hope.“

“And then he will die too because he simply doesn’t have a choice, does he? You will be dead by then because the Six extinguished your life! Tell me, Lunafreya, do you have signs of fatigue, signs that unveil the truth of how close you are to death? You are paying the ultimate price. Day by day, your very life slips through your fingers like sand! Cast away the disillusion and glamour that has caged you all your life!”

Luna stopped walking and looked down at the flowers, seeking comfort. But she couldn’t find it, and that made her realizing how valid Ravus objections were. Anyway she was strong enough to add in a firm tone: “I trust in Noctis.” She believed in the True King and her cherished friend and meant it, the Oracle would repeat her belief endlessly regardless of her brother’s arguments. “He is our King.” She didn’t know what else she could say. The Noctis’ card was literally the only ace in the sleeve she had.

Ravus had to walk towards her, his diatribe continued. Her elder sibling always had a fiery temper and the next he opened his mouth he couldn’t help but scream, “Sister, cease this madness! That boy will never be king!”

“Noctis is chosen. It is ordained. You of all people should know.” The last remark was uttered merely to spite Ravus, knowing that he had been rejected and to end the conversation. It proved uneffective.

“I know that you’re throwing your life away!”

“That may be! But it’s my choice!” she screamed her grief until she realized her throat was raw, turning around to face him again. But when Luna did, she noticed Nyx some steps away from Ravus, totally shocked, his eyebrows narrowed, the fists closed. She couldn’t discern how long he had been there, but one thing was sure: he heard everything.

And facing him would have been far worse than facing her brother’s desperation.

#lunyx #lunafreya nox fleuret #nyx ulric #final fantasy xv #kingsglaive

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