#he's such an asshole but he got played so bad and manipulated at every turn i cant help it

[daeluin]

AND INARIUS

OH GOD INARIUS YOU POOR SUMMER CHILD. YOU SWEET DUMB CHILD. YOU ARROGANT IDIOT. I AM TEARING HIM LIMB BY LIMB. SHACKING HIM LIKE A RAGGED DOLL

#diablo iv spoilers #my problematic trait is that i love inarius' character #he's such an asshole but he got played so bad and manipulated at every turn i cant help it #he was so obsessed trying to atone for his sins. so blinded by his own self righteousness. so filled with hatred after millennia of torment #he couldnt even see his own doom. he couldnt see he was walking right to his damnation and dragging everybody else with him #DONT YOU UNDERSTAND? HE WENT STRAIGHT TO HELL BLINDED BY THE NEED TO FIND SALVATION AND FORGIVENESS FROM A HEAVEN THAT WONT EVER ACCEPT HIM #HE WAS CAST OUT. HEAVEN GAVE HIM OUT AS A TRUCE AND LEFT HIM FOR MILLENNIA TO BE TORMENTED. BC HE DARED TO DREAM- TO LOVE. TO BUILD A REFUG #AND SEEK PEACE AWAY FROM THE ETERNAL CONFLICT. FOR TRYING TO DEFY THE ORDER OF THE UNIVERSE #AND AFTER HE GOT OUT THEY WOULDNT TAKE HIM. HE COULDNT RETURN HOME. AND HE WAS FILLED WITH SO MUCH HATRED FOR WHAT HE BUILD. FOR EVERYTHING #HE THOUGHT IF HE DESTROYED EVERYTHING HE HAD DONE. EVERYTHING HE HAD EVER LOVED. HE WOULD BE FORGIVEN. BUT THE HEAVENS DIDNT CARED #THEY LEFT HIM TO DIE IN THE PIT OF THE DAMNED. STABBED BY THE ONE HE LOVED. THE ONE HE FORSAKE HEAVEN AND HELL FOR. STRIP FROM HIS WINGS #HE LOST EVERYTHING BY TRYING TO SCAPE THE ETERNAL CONFLICT. BY DARING TO DREAM ABOUT SOMETHING MORE. ONLY TO BE DISILLUSIONED BY IT #HE DESTROYED EVERYTHING HE BUILD TRYING TO SEEK REDEMPTION FOR HIS SIN. FOR THINKING THERE WAS SOMETHING MORE THAN CONFLICT. FOR LOVING #AND IN THE LAST MOMENT HE REALIZES THERE IS NO SALVATION. NO HOPE. HE'S DAMNED. HE CANT SCAPE THE ETERNAL CONFLICT. ITS IN HIS NATURE #AND SO HE DIES ALONE IN DARKNESS #GOD IT DRIVES ME INSANE

[sagaduwyrm]

DCxDP Idea - Tucker x Tim Soulmate AU:

Now on AO3

So the Justice League believes the Fentons and the GIW. Not completely, but enough. That’s the bad news. The worse news is that they have Danny, and are apparently planning to use him in some kind of spell to banish all the ghosts from the living plane. Which, okay, sure, not the worst idea, except that trying to banish a Liminal is a great way to kill them instead, and guess what everyone in Amity Park is? Not to mention what powering such a ritual could do to Danny.

Tucker is not having a panic attack. He might have one later, but right now he has a job to do.

So the thing about the Justice League is that they’re powerful and together they cover each other’s weaknesses, but individually they are, if not manageable, then at least survivable. They can’t take on the entire league, but Ghosts and their ilk have fangs for a reason, and every predator knows how to divide and conquer.

Technus and Skulker are using Lex Luthor’s tech to deal with the Supers. Jazz has got emotional manipulation and FrightKnight’s sword to take down the Flashes. Desiree agreed to start a mage’s duel with the Justice League Dark. Sam, Ember, Johnny, and Kitty hopefully have the watchtower in hand, with Walker playing backup to get Danny free.

Tucker has two jobs. One, work with Technus to take down the Justice League communications without making it look like anything is up. Two, for the love of the Ancients, do not let the Bats realize something is wrong.

And you know what? He’s got this. Duul Aman was the most feared sorcerer of his time. Tucker isn’t him, not really, but he’s no slouch in the magic department. Egyptian magic, the way Duul Aman knew it, was almost like code. Relearning it was as easy as breathing, but the real reason Tucker’s job is to deal with the bats is because he took it further than his last life ever could. Sure, he’s a dab hand at illusions, his curses are almost as nasty as Sam’s, and instant sandstorms are never not useful, but where he really thrives is with tech. Afterall, if ectoplasm can be combined with computers, why can’t magic?

Tucker is the world's first technomage and he’s goddamn proud of it.

It’s his saving grace now. Infiltrating Oracle’s system took weeks, and he still wasn’t able to look at or do anything important, but it was enough of an opening for his magic. He wormed his illusion through every single piece of bat-tech he could reach, whispering in their ear, Gotham needs you. The Justice League is fine. Gotham is where the problems are. 

Weeks of work and sleepless nights, and he still doubts he’ll be able to keep them from noticing anything for more than a few hours. Luckily, by that time Danny will be free and Tucker will be long gone from Gotham.

This confidence lasts until he brushes hands with another guy in the cafe. He can feel the bond snap into place, a soulmark crawling across his body. Tim Drake stares at him, eyes wide but sharp. 

Tim Drake.

Red Robin.

Shit.

Time to see whether fighting ghosts extends to fighting humans, because he is not letting this asshole mess up Danny’s rescue.

+++

The first thing Tim notices when he meets his soulmate is the rage in the man’s eyes.

They’re really pretty eyes. A bright, glowing gold, lined in kohl. Almost certainly a sign of magic. 

They look at him like the man wants to turn him inside out and burn the remains. Tim’s a little offended, beneath the shock and awe.

“Fuck,” the man hisses. Tim’s offense is starting to supersede his surprise. He’s a catch, thank you very much.

He says as much. The man laughs, and it’s almost friendly.  The cafe is empty. The people of Gotham have good instincts, and there’s something in the air around this man that puts Tim’s hackles up.

“You know, I think that’d be more believable if you hadn’t started this.”

Tim’s brow wrinkled. He felt like he’d remember starting something with his soulmate though? What was he supposed to have started, anyway? Saying ‘this’ wasn’t very specific. 

He rolled and dodged to avoid the sudden lash of golden sand. Ah. A fight. He could do that. Figure out why his soulmate was angry later, defeat him now.

He reached up to call for backup and only got static.

Shit.

He was on his own. Time to show this bastard why underestimating a bat was a bad idea.

#There's a part two to this now #Check the notes #Enemies to Lovers #potentially #Tim’s gotta put some work in #Tucker’s usually pretty chill but… #fandom #danny phantom #dpxdc #dp x dc #batman #fandom stuff #dc #tucker foley #tim drake #Tucker/Tim #technogeek

[ghostinthegallery]

Re-reading Twice Dead King, the character I was most struck by on a second viewing was Mentep. Now there’s a tragic figure. Simultaneously a mentor, an ally, an antagonist, someone so terribly understandable who I want to smack upside the head for being a lying liar who lies.

Ultimately, Mentep is a penitent. He has committed terrible acts (that we only get scant details of) and he wants to redeem himself. Thanks to his tampering with his own memories, he doesn't fully know what he is repenting for, which puts him in a bind. However, he knows that he played a role in creating the flayer curse/longing sickness, so he goes to a planet where a high concentration of them have gathered and works on his cure. He's respected, he's able to do his work with only occasional interruptions from the local angsty youth. Things are good-ish (until the armada shows up.)

Mentep and Oltyx have a weird relationship. Despite being his normal asshole-teenager self, Oltyx does respect Mentep more than most. Trusts Mentep enough to let the guy perform experimental brain surgery on him. Twice. And Mentep is able to be much more candid with Oltyx in return. He's one of the few consistently calling Oltyx out for his bullshit. On the surface, it is a standard mentor relationship, but what got me on a second reading is that there is hardly a single conversation Mentep has with Oltyx where he isn’t lying to and/or manipulating him.

It starts early with Yenekh. Mentep knows Yenekh has been suffering from the curse, he hasn’t told Oltyx, and when he finally has to tell him, he conveniently does so right before distracting everyone with the “oh btw, we’re all gonna die to a giant human armada” news. This is done with the best of intentions. Mentep wants to protect Yenekh (and Oltyx, in his way), so he delivers the news this way to get the bad news out of the way and then both of them on the same side. But it is the start of a pattern.

Which we get again when Mentep fails to mention a that Antikef is a flayer den ruled by a “We have Illuminor Szeras at home” Vizier, and boy does that end badly for Oltyx (see the last 60% of Ruin). Naturally, Mentep has a good explanation:

But it is another lie, one that costs Oltyx dearly (put a pin in this, I am coming back to it.)

There's some little fibs and ommissions along the way as they go to Carnotite, but it all builds up to The Big Lie. The one that sends Oltyx spiraling and gets Mentep killed. Because you know what really helps with paranoia? Finding out your mentor and your best friend have been hiding a secret blood pit in your basement! Again, it makes sense why Mentep is lying about this! He has every reason to believe Oltyx would have rejected the flayed ones he and Yenekh were sheltering (he in fact does exactly this), and Mentep's entire goal is to cure the curse to atone for his role in its creation. However...

I think Oltyx is correct to call Mentep out here (Oltyx is wrong about most things, but not this). Somewhere a long the way he became a means to an end for Mentep. Mentep was focused on The Curse and not the person in front of him who was cursed. He used Oltyx's friendship with Yenekh, his need to save his kingdom, his trust, his fears, all in service of admirable goals, but he was using Oltyx. Is it any wonder this is where it ended?

The lies were Mentep's undoing from the start. Remember the lie about Antikef? The one that led to all the events of Ruin? Yes, Oltyx and Djoseras did talk and avoid a civil war, but Oltyx also went through hell. He saw his home turned into an abbattoir, his father reduced to barely more than an animal. Oltyx was literally vivisected and almost consumed by his own dysphoria. And then committed regicide after leaving his brother behind to die. Antikef is where Oltyx truly learned that compassion was weakness and saw how horrific the flayer curse could become. So how was he ever going to accept the flayed ones as Mentep wanted him to? Oltyx experienced the comically perfect combination of traumas to ensure that would never happen, thanks in part to Mentep's manipulations.

I cannot stress enough that Mentep's individual lies all made sense at the time. May have even been the best option, at the time. But the consequences piled up, and even as he is dying he still refuses to give Oltyx even a scrap of the truth. That is the core of his tragedy for me. Well, that and this:

He bases all of his manipulations on his understanding of people's psyche's, which are usually accurate, but it also traps them. It gives them no room to grow or surprise him or for outside factors to come in and intervene. Contrast this with Zultanekh, who is upfront to a fault. He gives Oltyx advice and resources, but what Oltyx does with those things is up to him. Even when he is screwing up royally, he's allowed to make those mistakes. Mentep causes ones of Oltyx's darkest hours (the secret blood pit), while Zultanekh lifts him out of another (the Blood Angel's attack). In the end, Zultanekh is the one who sees Oltyx's true growth and witnesses the birth of his kingdom. A birth that comes not from curing the curse but embracing it.

There was never a sickness to be fixed, which means Mentep never would have achieved his redemption because he was focused on the wrong things. Which does make his death and rebirth as Xott a bit of a reflection of Oltyx. He was too burdened in his first life, but in his second he (or at least a version of him) was able to witness the people he hurt reaching a place of peace.

#warhammer 40k #necrons #twice dead king #oltyx #mentep #shit this one got long #I have a lot of thoughts about the sad robots okay #pro tip: maybe constantly lying to the paranoid teenager with anger issues isn't gonna end well for anybody #side note I do wonder if Mentep's habit of manipulation came from his time on Carnotite #That place got scary man #learning how to work people may have become a survival tactic that he just internalized #poor yenekh stuck in the middle #my boy did not deserve that #zultanekh repeatedly proving that he is best

[ahonice]

Thunder

Thunder - Lana Del Rey

Trevor Zegras x Fem Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: !!!This is a work of fiction, real people in this story are depicted differently then who they truly are!!! Buckle up this one is rough (imo…read note for more context) ANGST, Trevor being a bad boyfriend (I’m sorry, I spun the wheel and he was who it landed on for writing this about like actually I have a wheel to decide who I write about) reader is going through it and cannot catch a break (who can though??) Cursing, drinking (underage, blacking out, drunken confessions) 

Note: This is my favorite Lana song ever, it’s so good (also describes my relationship with my ex PERFECTLY) um so this fic is literally just a telling of my past relationship in fiction form. But new series WHOOP WHOOP more Lana song fics coming soon

*Italics are song lyrics*

***

“You roll like thunder, when you come crashing in. Town ain’t been the same since you left with all your friends.”

Trevor Zegras, your alluring, passionate, loving best friend. Trevor Zegras, your manipulative, callous, apathetic boyfriend. 

You met Trevor when he moved to Michigan for hockey, he was sitting in your unassigned, but assigned, seat in your study hall period. You told him, as nice as someone could be at seven in the morning on the first day of classes after break, that he was in your spot and he immediately got up and moved to the spot behind you. Which surprised you, most people would be assholes about that and refuse to move because there wasn’t assigned seating in that class. What didn’t surprise you was that the guy you had moved out of your seat was now bothering you.

“Would you stop talking? This is a study hall, people might be doing work or studying, that’s what this period is for.” You told him, not very quietly making others in the classroom turn towards you. After he kept talking to you, well to the back of your head, about how god knows what. 

“Sorry, it’s just my first day here and I’m a little nervous.” The boy said, ducking his head in shame, immediately making you feel guilty.

“Oh no I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were new here.” You said, a light blush spreading across your cheeks. “Do you want help figuring out where your classes are?” You offered in hopes to make up for embarrassing him. 

“Sure, that would be great” He smiled at you, “I’m Trevor.” 

“Y/n.”

***

The two of you hit it off, instantly becoming friends. You drove to school together, you hung out during your study hall period every morning, you sat together at lunch, you both had after school activities but afterwards you would meet up to work on homework or just hang out together. After a few months Trevor had asked you to be his girlfriend, and everything was going great, until it wasn’t.

Trevor was a year above you in school, having met when he was a junior and you were a sophomore. The gap never was an issue until the last month of his senior year came crashing in, he was moving to Massachusetts for college in August and you were staying in Michigan to finish off your senior year. The talk went well, you were worried that Trevor would want to break up because he was leaving and didn’t want to do long distance, but Trevor made it very clear that was not what he wanted and he was fine with doing distance for a year because he was sure you were going to get into any school you applied to and that meant you could go to school wherever he ended up after the draft. You were happy in the moment, but you later wished he would’ve just ended things with you then.

“You roll like thunder, when you come crashing in. Regattas in the wind, that's why you’re visiting.”

The first month of long distance seemed to be going great, over the summer you accompanied him to the draft where he got picked to play for Anaheim. Immediately after the two of you spent time researching schools in California, Trevor freaking out once he realized UCLA was under an hour away from the area where he would be staying. 

The second month of long distance went decent, his hockey season began so he was a bit preoccupied, but that was nothing you weren’t used to he had been playing hockey the whole time you were dating. What you weren’t used to was not being in close proximity with him, even with hockey seasons going on the past two years you still were able to see him after his practices got out, now you had to settle for text messages and the occasional phone call.

The third month of long distance is when it all started going to shit, he had a game against the University of Michigan, which you had attended of course, but there was a weird tension between the two of you. There was no flirting, no secret glances which ended in a fit of giggles once you were caught, no sneaking out of his hotel room to meet up with you, he didn’t even take you out to hangout just you two, he kissed you twice the whole time he was there. When he arrived and when he left, they weren’t even real kisses, just grazing of the lips. After he got back to Boston it was radio silence except for one text message.

From: Trev <3

It was nice to see you this weekend.

It was nice to see you this weekend. No I missed you so much, and I miss you even more now that we’re apart again. No I love you, no plans to visit or even call soon, nothing.

“You act like fucking Mr.Brightside when you’re with all your friends, but I know what you’re like when the party ends.”

By the fourth month of long distance your relationship was no longer a relationship, you texted a couple times a day, basically all being stupid imessage games, the only time you got anything close to a real emotion from Trevor was when he was drunk and he called you, he always called when he was inebriated, but you never liked what he said.

“I miss you, but I can’t do long distance anymore.”

“We aren’t the same anymore.”

“Next year when we’re in California I’m worried things will be different between us.”

“I don’t think I love you anymore.”

Each confession was worse than the one before, you’d always end the phone call telling Trevor to call in the morning to properly discuss your future together when he was sober, but he never did and he never remembered the conversations you’d had, leaving you to deal with the drunken confessions yourself, having to stomach knowing that your boyfriend who you love so much no longer feels the same and he won’t even admit it to you. 

“Just do it. Just do it; don’t wait.”

Everyday you waited for the text, the one where Trevor asked to talk to you. The one that would result in the ending of your relationship, but it never came. It got to the point where you wanted to do it for him, to rip off the bandaid he couldn’t. You knew you would never though, because even if he didn’t love you anymore, you still loved him, and at the end of this all you hoped next year, when you were living near each other again, everything would go back to normal between you two. You wish you weren’t so naive when it came to him, you knew you needed to break up, if not for his sake, for yours. It was taking a toll on you, on your mental health, on your school work, you ended up with a C in one of your classes at the end of your first semester of senior year, you had never gotten anything but an A, let alone a C.

“You roll like thunder, pouring all your drinks. The parties lit and you, my friend, half cut when it begins.”

The drunken confessions didn’t stop, they only got worse.

“I never opened the gift you got me for Christmas.”

“I hooked up with a girl last night.”

“When people ask if I’m single I say I am.”

“I’m doing amazing down here, without you.”

“When are we gonna break up?”

Each new confession was another knife to the heart, but you just sat there on the other side of the line listening to each new piece of information your boyfriend, if you could even call him that, would give you.

“You roll like thunder, you’re tryna catch that wind. That lightning in the bottle, that moonbeam in your hand.”

Senior prom came around, you weren’t surprised when Trevor told you he wasn’t coming. You didn’t blame him, even if your relationship wasn’t a shit show and he still cared about you in the slightest bit he had hockey stuff going on that night, and besides who wants to go to a high school dance after they’ve graduated?

What did surprise you was the phone call you received after you sent him a picture of you all dressed up, hair and makeup professionally done, the dress you saved up for months to buy.

“Hello?” This would be the first time the two of you would talk on the phone since November where Trevor wasn’t drunk.

“You look beautiful.” Whiplash rang through your body, Trevor had complimented you. He hadn’t done that in months, the smile that had grown on your face quickly dimmed when you came to that realization. 

“Trevor, why haven’t you broken up with me yet?” The question coming out of your mouth surprised you. You never thought you would be brave enough to face the reality of your relationship.

“Y/n, what are you talking about?” Trevor’s shocked tone of voice riled up your anger. Had he really not been able to pick up on the very obvious changes between the two of you? Was he that apathetic? Could he not tell how much of a toll this was taking on you? Was he even aware of how much you were hurting everyday just by the thought of him.

“We’ll talk later, please don’t drink tonight. I need to have this conversation with my boyfriend–” The words hurt to say, because he wasn’t your boyfriend and he hadn’t been since August, “-not with the drunk asshole he has become.” You hung up before he could say anything in response.

“And you try to see the brightside when each new day begins, but you’re not satisfied at the rainbow’s end.”

To your surprise, Trevor did end up staying sober that night, he waited by the phone for your call for hours, a nice analogy to how you’ve been spending your Saturday nights since you went long distance. You had gone to an after prom party with your friends and had a little too much to drink. You called Trevor, and this time you spoke the drunken confessions that would break your lover’s heart.

“You break me more and more everyday Trevor.”

“You cheated on me, and told me about it like it was no big deal. Do you remember that?”

“Do you remember when you told me you didn’t love me anymore?”

“I got into UCLA, I’m not going. I’m not following you to California.”

“Somehow, after all of this, I still love you.”

“You have to be the one to end our relationship, because I can’t do it.”

You hung up before Trevor could get a word in, hoping that he would take what you said to heart and finally, officially, break up with you.

“Just do it. Just do it; don’t wait.”

Trevor didn’t do it. He didn’t break up with you, he told you the next day he was determined to make it work. That he wasn’t giving up without a fight, which made you laugh seeing that he had given up and your relationship ended months ago.

The day of your graduation, you walked the stage and heard cheering from your friends and family. You heard him, you shouldn’t have been shocked that Trevor showed up, you had sent him the details to his ticket the night before, but seeing him and hearing him in person for the first time since the game he played against Michigan in November was enough to have you crying. You ran into his arms, he ran into yours. He whispered apologies in your ears, but they went in one and out the other. This was your swan song, the last time you would be his girlfriend, the last time he would be your boyfriend, the last time you would be in each other’s arms, it was bitter sweet.

“Cause if you’re on fire, you’re on fire. Just keep burning, ‘til rain. Baby keep me ablaze. Honey if you’re on fire, you’re on fire. Just keep burning, keep me alive. Spare your blade.”

You stayed together, Trevor started acting like the boyfriend you once knew and loved, still loved. But you knew. You knew it was all an act, in august he was gonna move to California to get settled in before preseason and you were moving to Connecticut. You committed to Yale, not UCLA like Trevor had wanted. When you told him you could tell he was upset, he was hoping you would take back what you said to him the night of your prom, he was hoping that you were too drunk to remember you said it and didn’t mean it. Just like you had hoped all those times when he was the one calling you blackedout. 

Anyone around you could tell that your relationship was on its last life, they were shocked you even made it through the school year. You didn’t, but they didn’t need to know that.

It felt like your relationship was the only thing keeping you alive, it was all that kept your flame burning, but all flames die out eventually.

“Just do it. Just do it; don’t wait. If hello just means goodbye then, honey, better walk away. Just do it. Just do it’ don’t wait. If hello just means goodbye then, baby, better walk away.”

Today was your last night with Trevor, you sat by the fire with him in silence until the final flame went out.

“We need to break up.” You stated, the second the two of you were surrounded by the darkness of the night.

“I know.” Trevor stated, looking at you, but he couldn’t see you. You couldn’t see him, you two were in pitch black darkness. The fire was the only thing providing light, but it was now dead. A cruel metaphor for your now dead relationship.

“Just do it. Just do it; don’t wait.”

***

Note: Hope y’all enjoyed, this gets pretty fucking sad. I’m toning it down a bit though just for the sake of my mental health (idk if I can handle reliving this in full honestly…again fuck you chris) Leave feedback, this one might not be everyone’s favorite but I need to write about my feelings because I’m still torn up about this (once again…fuck you chris) (chris is my exes name if you haven’t put that together yet) (I’m gonna stop spilling my guts to strangers on the internet) (goodbye.) This took two hours to write so it might not be my best work, but I proofread (no editing needed kinda worried about that lol) so I hope this at least a little bit decent. Love y’all babes <3

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras x reader #nhl imagine #anaheim ducks #ahonice writes

[holyghostbelle]

THE THIRTEENTH STEP

(sponsor!dark!Eddie Munson x recovering!reader)

Oh how I've created the most deliciously terrible pairing, so many warnings and red flags.

if you are under the age of 18 I will make out with you dad >:0 don't make me do that

Eddie Munson is 5 years sober and horribly famous, reader is 60 days sober and has never heard of the bands he's in :) 29 year old Eddie , 21 yr old reader. Fem reader. ALSO STEVE THE ARMY GUY is not STEVE HARRINGTON

Warnings: drug use, addiction, drug addiction, alcoholics, sex addicts, sexual assault(not eddie),power play, the act of thirteenth stepping( becoming involved with newly recovering addict),abuse, victimisation, reader hates herself, reader is suicidal,Gaslighting and manipulation

Masterlist

It's 1994 and you stop smoking, you chew gum instead, sipping dark roast coffees when you crave them.You stop drinking too, stop doing drugs, you're totally clean now and you get tattoos, thousands of them (well you have maybe more than 20) you've been clean for less than 60 days.

Your parents are so proud of you, and you've broken up with ‘him’? So you've got everything ahead of you and nothing to lose. You're living with your parents, back at home, you don't hear the drunks outside,they don't knock on your door and beg. The mail comes and it is never bad news. You thank your rich mum and dad. You pray every night that they are telling the truth when they say how far you've come, but deep down you know they aren't, back at home already and your degree hasn't even finished yet.

You're a failure.

They've spent so much money on you, you want to pay it all back, hospital bills, expensive rehabilitation, one of the new ones, with green tea and yoga and celebrities who have phones you put in your pocket, the one your dad has for work.

You have crystal healing therapy and draw your feelings in big white open rooms with hundreds of plants, and half the time you think to yourself.

‘i'd rather he hit and shout at me all over again before Rachel stands up and hums incredibly loudly at the back of my head for another session of reiki healing, in fact i'd rather be back to lying on the streets overdosing if she prescribes a fucking hug. Id rather have a fucking! stomach pump if she tells me i'm worth it! One more fucking time.``

But you're out now, stuck in the New York suburbs with assholes who take prescription drugs and drink green smoothies and walk tiny dogs and listen to music that makes you want to cut your ears off and shove them down someone's throat.

Your parents buy you a car to get to the NA meetings. It's thirty minutes away. In a church.

You remember going there on Sundays with your family, fresh faced in babydoll dresses and tiny little white socks, with your pink pocket bible and you'd get pancakes with sweet syrup and fresh fruit and your nan would scoop up all the foam on her coffee and let you taste it when your mum turned a blind eye, bitter and milky.

But this is different, you've done this all by yourself.

’Step 1: Admit your life has become unmanageable’

Okay, so it's your first college party right? And you're freshly 18. You've never drunk (the sip of your dads beer doesn’t count) and you're dressed well; slutty. Your roommates pulled something out that's low cut? You're a hundred percent sure it's a nightgown at this point. And you've got boots and a brown matte lip and you look at yourself in the mirror and think.

‘Is this what it's like to be popular?”

So anyway, you show up to this party right, you-look-so-fucking-hot. And you meet this guy, well you meet “him”, He's cute, a little flirty. He makes you smile and he smokes weed. And remember you've never drunk or done any drugs, but you really like him and any common sense gets thrown out of your pretty little head, so you do a shot and smoke.

You end up in his bed that night, he's pressed against you whispering poetry into your ear, you swallow air and cry and you've never been deeply religious because you did give that boy a hand-job in the church graveyard when you were fourteen, so it's not like you're totally a prude or anything because your roommate's dress hangs around your waist as you lose your virginity to him, and all you ask is,

“Is this what heaven feels like?”

You're light and airy.

You wake up in the morning and leave and you start going out every night trying to catch him at the bar that doesn’t ID, you see him with other girls-he leaves with other girls, hunched over in the back alley. Sometimes it's you, in his car, in the bar toilets, in his house, you don't leave for days, your mind is constantly foggy and he is on the phone to his friend talking about drugging the same girl over and over, but you want it so badly so it can't be you, right?

So you start buying off him and suddenly all of your trust fund is gone and your owing him favours, your on his bedroom floor high as a fucking kite you see color's and your pretty sure your on acid, you don't actually know? But it doesn't matter at this point because you’ve convinced yourself he's in love with you.

You've missed all your classes this week because you're too busy getting pounded by the guy that gives you drugs for free and then he stops whispering poetry into your ear and you are actually like together, because you got kicked out of your apartment and you live with him now.

There's no point going anywhere, your mind is foggy, you've lost so much weight and you don't actually know what's going on at this point, he tells you what you need, his friends come and go, he must have hundreds of them because they all look different.

He gets violent, but it's during sex first, he slaps your face and apologises because he's ‘just trying to keep you awake’ he swears. He buys you flowers the next day, and chokes you that evening, it becomes a vicious new cycle.

“Here I bought you chocolate” is cheap shit, but he carves his initials into your skin that night because "you fucking belong to him”

Then he tells you to sleep with his friends and you do. He laughs and calls you a slut and kicks you. “Anything for fucking drugs this girl”

His friends snicker and you sleep with them, the list of sins gets longer. Then one night after a year when your parents get redirected to the place you've been staying because this Christmas you haven't called to say you're coming back and also that expensive ivy league school just sent the third check back as you had dropped out.

They find you outside on a road away from his place, red foam out your mouth, eyes rolled back and bruised all over, your naked and your hair is knotted at the back, so you're rushed to hospital, you never tell them what happened, so they don't ask, no police report is filed, he gets away with what he's done.

What a Christmas gift you think, your mother says its a Christmas miracle and tells all her friends that you've basically been reborn. Your dad is distant like always, and you drink cranberry juice instead of wine at Christmas dinner, everyone pretends that everything is fine.

You think you were set up to fail from the start.

And yeah, you could say your life has gotten pretty unmanageable.

The doctor says you're lucky your parents found you, you had your stomach pumped in the ambulance, but you don't remember much.

Just pain, and a pure black sky.

And you start to miss him, it's been two weeks and he hasn't tried to contact you to apologies like he usually does and you think of the first night you met and how it felt like heaven, and how you couldn't move and speak and it was like you were trapped in your own head and how it didn't feel at all that nice, and how he was whispering ‘it's going to be alright, im just taking care of you’

And you're heartbroken all over again, but you're not allowed to drink so you wallow in your sadness sober, which is actually ridiculously boring and because you're sober you can't make drunk mistakes like kissing random old men or spending hundreds of dollars on a stupid bag, because drunk you would take a knife and stab him right in his heart so he knew how it felt.

You start to wish you died that night, because tattoos are fucking expensive and also you cant get yourself to cover his mark because that would mean someone else would see it there and everything would be true.

So you sit at home and think and cry and cry some more, and then you pack for rehab.

But rehabs over now, and AA, NA, SAA (because sleeping around for drugs is actually considered a sex addiction? And not prostitution? yeah right!), that's your life now, you're fully booked and sober.

It's five pm. You're driving an old Honda accord in silver because your dad thinks if you get drunk and crash the car it won't be a loss of money, have a little faith, your mum hands you three dollars to buy a coffee because apparently coffee is incredibly expensive now.

You pull over and buy a pack of cigarettes, you lean against your car, you breathe in the bitter death and think.

“Is it a sin to smoke next to a church?”

It can't be right?

You check your watch, five twenty five.

A black Chevy truck pulls up to your left, it actually looks ridiculous, its custom so whoever owns it is either extremely rich or stupid and poor.

Metallica blasts through the speakers, it's so loud you can't hear yourself think. The car door slams as you inhale the last of your cigarette. You look up for half a second, but you find yourself gazing at him for a second too long.

He looks back, he nods and smiles at you.

You scoff, stamping out your cigarette.

He follows you into the church.

———————

Eddie's famous, stupidly famous. Old men know who he is famous, and hot women.

Eddie is famous as fuck and rich and an addict.

You know how it starts, smoke a bit of weed in high school, drink a couple of beers. One minute you're trying cocaine for the first time and the next your manager is hand cuffing you to your bed-frame because you have a tendency to get drunk and fuck and destroy the hotel room.

So yeah maybe Eddie spiralled out of control on tour and passed out on stage and then decided to get in the passenger seat with his friend, and take control of the steering wheel, and well you probably know the rest right? you've heard it all before, you've seen it in the papers.

"RICH WHITE ROCKSTAR GETS FUCKING DRUNK AND KILLS LIKE A MILLION PEOPLE!!!!!"

Okay so not exactly that.

On parole for a year, Licence revoked for two. Three years in and he starts making music again, four years sober and all he has is an extreme nicotine addiction, an over customised truck, and bandmates who hate him. But that's rock and roll baby, all the stars nearly kill their friends.

Eddie goes to NA and AA meetings every week, technically he's forced too but he likes listening to rich white mens sob stories, how they were bankers by day and coke addicts by night, because it's so tragic how they cheated on their wives with strippers, boo hoo! Eddie likes to play a game for sympathy, someone tells their sob story about losing a dog because they were drunk and Eddie talks about how his friend was in a coma for half a year.

And so Eddies pulls into the church hall parking lot, and he notices the young lil thing leaning against her car inhaling a cigarette like it's her job, and she dressed somewhat weirdly. In Fact she looks so out of place, she's wearing beige but not in a cool 90s grunge way. More in the way that her mum dressed her this morning, her mum being rich and suburban, married her husband for money.

He switches the truck off, and metallica fades out immediately. He steps out the truck, the car door slams, he stretches, his chest aimed for the sky and he looks at her. He nods and sends her a cheeky smile.

He waits for her reaction but she stares and scoffs , stamping out her cigarette, her eyes roll and she pulls the sleeves of her overly expensive knit jumper down.In the colour of beige, but the store probably calls it caramel coffee creamer or gingerbread cookie fall and even worse cinnamon roll icing, coconut shredded chocolate. Or if it's even higher end, sand one. He follows behind her. Noticing her stained black converse, bloodied, scuffed.

Her mum had definitely dressed her.

———————

The church hall is cold, it always has been.

There's a circle of chairs in the middle of the room, and a table with coffee cups and cheap plastic wrapped muffins, there's four men in suits in the room they’re sweating and you make eye contact with what you think is your mom's friend, she looks away quickly, and then there's the weird army guy with a sign in sheet that your pretty sure came to your high school to warn you about the dangers of drugs and alcohol.

You tell him your name and curl up on a plastic seat with a cold cup of coffee. You sip carefully, staring ahead as the curly headed freak pulls up a chair to your right.

“Nice sweater”

You raise an eyebrow and look him up and down, he's wearing a black fitted shirt and blue jeans covered in tattoos.

“It's my mums” you stare at him in the eye, “can you tell?”

“Where are your clothes then?”he points to your chest and meets your eyes.

“I don't know, probably in a skip somewhere rotting, like everything else”

He grins, “You're so cynical” he looks over to the woman next to him “How are you doing today Joan? How are the kids?”

Joans face flushes, and stares at your face,” Oh Eddie, i'm doing fine thank you, Heathers graduating college soon, only a couple of months”

“They grow up so fast, huh”

There's a moment of silence, Eddie leans back in his chair smiling, the business men talk about stocks or money or whatever they actually do, and the big army guy sits down in a chair, his legs spread, muscles bulging.

“Hello, I'm Steve and i'm an alcoholic!"

“Hi Steve” we chant back.

“It's been about seventeen years now, since i had a sip of beer, and i've been thinking, seventeen years, that's nearly a high school graduate, my soberness could drive, next year it could join the army, and every day i think to myself what is this for? myself ? My wife? My kids? “ he sighs

“No, being sober is for myself, i've owned up to my actions, i've accepted god into my life, i've made amends, and now? I go for dinner with my wife and while she has wine I have soda, my kids party and I can pick them up safely, and help them, but I'm happy to help.”

Steve goes on for what seems like hours, but you keep your eye on the clock and only minutes pass, you don't actually know what he's trying to say but you nod along anyway.

“We have a newcomer today, you've probably noticed her. So be nice, why don't you introduce yourself darling?”

You say your name, and they chant it back at you, they wait for you to speak.

“I got out of rehab like a-week ago, and all I could think while being there while they braided my hair and made me pick weeds out of bushes is how I would've rather died from my overdose than be there.” you pause, and the room fills with a flood of sympathy, it's thick in the air, there's a shuffling of feet.

“And like, everyones been telling me to own up to my actions, like it was my fault? Like I went to college and then decided to get hooked on drugs?” you smile but your eyes don't.

There's a scoff on your right, you look at him.

“oh sorry did you want to say something?”

“Look sweetheart, we’re all here for a reason, part of recovery is owning up to your actions” Eddie smiles softly like he's just said the biggest revelation ever .

You nod at him, “yeah i guess you're right, next time someone loads me up with ketamine and rapes me i’ll remember it was my own fault” you stand up straight coffee knocked up and on the floor.

“because I was asking for it, right?”

You drag your chair painfully slowly and it scrapes along the floor, making that awful sound.

You rush out of the building to your car, slamming the door and hitting the steering wheel. You look over at the truck on your left and contemplate.

Fuck it

You get out the car, keys in your hand and you scrape them along his car door , in jagged edges.

Shit. You panic. Can you go to prison for this? you've just vandalised a seemingly harmless guy's car.

“Did you just key my truck?” He's behind you, and you turn to see his face.

“No” you shake your head.

“I just watched you do it, why are you lying?” he questions

“Because ,I-” you sigh“ i've got to much fucking anger and i don't know what to fucking do with it” your lip tremors.

“Im stupid. So fucking stupid, and yeah everything is my own fucking fault, i could have filled a fucking police report, but i was so fucking naive, i found him in a club the next night and slept with him again, and suddenly i'm lying in my own filth waiting to die because ive been rotting away in his apartment for god knows how long, so he loads me up with drugs and leaves me on the side of the road and i think, this is it i'm finally going to fucking die. I'm twenty one and my life is already fucked.”

The wind howls, and the parking lot lights flicker on as it gets darker.

You look up at him “I'm sorry i keyed your car”

“It's fine, i'm stupidly rich and hate it anyway” Eddie mutters.

You smile.

“I want to be your sponsor”

“Huh?” your eyebrows raise "after I keyed your car?"

‘Yeah and well it's me or Joan, and Joan just speaks about her kids so, I'd be helping you out ”

“Joans actually my mom's friend”

“Oh, I get it,” Eddie sighs, fiddling with his keys.

You pause, looking at his brown eyes, you think about what they would've looked like blood shot.

“Can I get your number then? Because Heather was a real bitch to me in high school so i'd rather not hear about her success story”

A/N: hello I got bored and started writing, and this i what I wrote, i am terrible at proof reading by the way so I will give you a kiss if you tell me all my mistakes xxxx

#eddie munson x reader #dark eddie munson #famous eddie munson #rich reader #90s au #recovering addict au #stranger things x reader #stranger things but not strange #heavy topics #what the actual fuuuuuck #slightly older Eddie #eddie munson #edward munson

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Strawberry Bracket: Semifinals, Poll 1

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Kuusuke Saiki

Threatened to reveal his brothers psychic powers to the world via live stream if didn’t complete a series of tasks that I would consider to be shitty saw traps all to reveal a birthday cake and some birthday wishes. Dude’s got issues

He’s also a teaboo

He is blonde and he is such a prick. Absolute jerk. Such an honest to god bitch.

Kuusuke that bitch. He's such a fucking dickwad I hate thisan so much. I am an avid hater of blondes but this vile piece of shit takes the cake. Dude plays psychological warfare games on his brother and acts all but hurt that he's not always the smartest guy in the room. He's like if Albert Einstein was also the guy from saw. Except unlike the guy from saw he directs all of his hatred towards Kusuo (his brother). He treats every member of his family like dogshit and has a God complex that is threatened by the mere existence of his brother. Which yeah, sure, I get that it can be hard to be praised for something your whole life only for it to be immediately made unimportant by your little brother with psychic powers, but Christ on a cracker! No need to spend your entire life but hurt about it

please consider kuusuke is a flaming faggot.

Did i mention that kuusuke enslaved a town of old people that included his own grandparents? Cause he did that.

Nanami Kiryuu

She's the mean girl of the show, and a pretty interesting take on the "bitchy vain school rival of the protagonist" trope. She spends most of her early screentime being a bully and most of her later screentime being both the biggest loser imaginable and deeply sad/troubled (which still does not erase how much of an asshole she can be). She even laughs like your stereotypical mean rich girl. Nanami has so many problems and sucks so so bad. I adore her.

Shes a psychotic bully who seeks to ruin the lives and reputations of any girl who gets more of her brothers attention than she does. Reasons Nanami Kiryuu deserves to win: - she has made many attempts at physical and psychological terrorism against Anthy Himemiya (including a plotted wardrobe malfunction at a crowded social gathering) simply for drawing more of her brother's attention than her - tried to fill Anthy's bedroom with wild animals (a snail, a snake, and a live octopus) to make her out to be a freak only to find that her room was already full of wild animals - she bankrolled an elementary schoolers crush on her to turn him into her personal boyservant - briefly non-personed a member of her bully entourage for sharing an umbrella with her brother - received a luxury cowbell due to a shipping error and smugly wore it to school for weeks flaunting it like high coture - when her bully entourage rebelled against her due to her brothers manipulation she brought them back in line by just straight up beating the shit out of all of them - all in all just a petty, goonish motherfucker (she also does the ohohohohoho anime girl laugh)

she's blond: despite being Japanese her hair is yellow, unlike her brother's. yellow is even her image color. she's a jerk: introduced as a jealous and dishonest scheming bully, she is one of the more outwardly antagonistic characters in a cast where pretty much everyone is a Real Piece Of Work she's the best: the quintessential ohoho-laughing ojou, her fully-realized character arc makes people both laugh and cry even her sidekick is a blond jerk! how many blond jerks have their own blond jerk sidekick?

i don't know what you've heard but she's NOT the kind of girl who lays eggs!

The token mean rich girl of the franchise. Does the classic "ohohoho" laugh. Doesn't like either of our main characters. She never actually seems to get her way, and secretly has a lot of her own problems. also she lays eggs and turns into a cow

Absolutely THE quintessential anime mean girl. I mean literally her laughing is THE meme for the hohohoho anime laugh. Needs attention So Badly and straight up bullies anyone she deems a threat to that (so basically Everyone). I haven’t finished RGU but apparently she duels with the intent to kill and drowned a kitten once because it was taking up too much of her brother’s attention? Also she’s 13 which explains a lot

#strawberry bracket semifinals #strawberry bracket #polls #tournament polls #saiki kuusuke #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuke #saiki k #nanami kiryuu #rgu #revolutionary girl utena #blond jerk tournament

[woodsfae]

Babylon 5 s02e16: In the Shadow of Z'ha'dum s02 ToC • previous episode

Dislike that they're turning the Narn refugees back unless they're injured. At least they're taking the injured, but damn, Earth won't take any refugees, even temporarily? That's awful.

Vir: Stop asking me things with uncomfortable answers. It makes me uncomfortable.

Not a great time to be a Centauri with a shred of a conscience, but a political position. Especially gross to be anyone dealing with fuckhead the asshole. Mor something?

Great hate speech by Vir, he's come a long way in expressing himself. It would be nice to see Shadow-lackey die a terrible death.

I, personally, would not name any kind of ship or vessel which I wished to remain in one piece, the Icarus. I'm not superstitious superstitious but I am a little superstitious. Don't wanna get on a submersible boat named Titan Titanic, either. Just seems like tempting fate. Or if not fate, then getting mocked in memes by teenagers after your ironic death.

Dun dun dun!! Shadow asshat was supposed to have died on the Icarus with Anna! Is she dead? Is any of that crew dead?

Morden. And he's on the station!

I reflexively distrust and dislike every single person who comes onto the station specifically to see Talia. Matt Stoner. Every PsiCorps episode. That time Kosh and the Guy With The Good Hat indulged in a little, light, mental torture to evaluate her. People just fuck with Talia and she deserves a break and a nice episode where she kisses Susan and relaxes a little.

This security guard taking Morden aside looks a lot like Willem Dafoe. But I don't think he is. Probably?

Morden's playing it slick, but Sheridan is in a bad bad mood. He's got a good explanation. He's a damned liar and he's AWOL. Just because he was assumed KIA doesn't mean he isn't still obligated to report back to duty.

But of course, Sheridan prefers to threaten him with making his legal status become his actual physical status (dead).

It makes sense that someone who's seen as much trauma and been traumatized as much as Stephen Franklin would need to talk it out. And it makes sense that he would have lowered inhibitions and feel compelled to talk about it when he's in the middle of another traumatic scenario. But the religious musings spoken through the characters' mouths is pretty tedious and not my favorite aspect.

Gross earthforce spy network setup.

Garibaldi being the voice of reason and urging adherence to moral guidelines is hilarious. Maybe that's what he needs: someone who's more of a loose cannon than he is, to keep in line.

This dichotomy is dumb. Message earthforce and be like "May I detain this AWOL member of earthforce that, surprise, isn't dead!" They're so suspicious and fascist right now, of course they'll support detaining him!

Idk if Talia going to help violate Morden's rights or not. And idk what Vir is going to disclose! Exciting!

The Centauri must go through so much hairspray. Vir's hair hardly even wobbles as he bobbles.

Literally it seems like all of thise would be resolved by calling Earthforce and telling them Morden's alive. I really don't understand why Sheridan isn't using the might of Earthforce to do all this with full military backing and support.

Two creepy shadow being accompanying Morden! I don't like that at all!

People really need to stop using Talia's abilities against her and to manipulate her into using telepathy against her better judgement and against the literal law. Super dickish. Sheridan's making a lot of indefensible calls in this one.

They need a therapist or twenty on board.

The Vorlon are so funny. All of the lesser races are as bugs to us….the Minbari are the best bugs and we prefer the best bugs to any of you annoying ones.

Deep Lore Dump.

The Ancients (who haven't "walked among us" in ten thousand years) fought the First Ones and (?) the Shadows over the millennia. They haven't been around since the last Great War. The Minbari were a space-going civilization at the time! Damn! No wonder they're so elitist! They've Seen It All.

So…Vorlons are some of the Ancients? Or at least they sheltered Kosh, an Ancient among their ranks? Wild that "everyone" will recognize him if he's out of his encounter suit. Or perhaps Kosh's idea of everyone is "everyone who knew me ten thousand years ago," lol.

Very grim outcome for the crew of the Icarus, but it does make me think that Anna will be back.

Anytime there's a debate about allowing mass death and atrocities for some future greater good, I don't care. Save the people in front of you. This WWII story is grim af. iirc, Britain was great at catching German spies. I should think they could totally have evacuated Coventry secretly. Really grim.

"What did you see?" "Nothing. Shadows."

Ewwww gross, Zach the security guard is going to be an earthforce informer. I really, really do not like the implications of a group of people with armbands being spread around to intimidate the populace.

This is a good decision by Sheridan. He's good at war, and it will be better for him to turn his energy into beating an ancient evil than to spin his wheels at B5.

Kosh saying he will die if he goes to Z'ha'dum doesn't mean he'll die if he fights the Shadows, imo. Many things in this show seem to revolve around loopholes, semantics, and pedantry. What if the Shadow leaves Z'ha'dum and is defeated in another place? That's a Sheridan-worthy escape clause from Prophecy of Doom.

next episode

#babylon 5 #b5 #morden #that asshole #john sheridan #woodsfae gif #john sheridan x human rights violations #garibaldi x newly discovered ethical principles #woodsfae b5

[aita-blorbos]

(For clarity, this is based on a headcanon. While this headcanon happens in an actual game series, it was never shown to happen in canon. Again, it's just a hc.)

AWTA (are we the assholes) for constantly mocking and harassing someone?

I know that sounds bad, but please hear us out!

Let us introduce ourselves. I (28, M) own a big blue ship and I once betrayed a toddler, but I then apologized and became friends with that toddler. And then the other person (25, F) that's right here alongside me is who I'll refer to as S. She used to help her demented dad turn planets into big robo-lands, but she's stopped doing that ever since the toddler stopped their last invasion, and she's now also friends with the toddler like I am.

There's someone that me and S are both pissed off about. This someone had involvement in ruining the life of a mutual friend we both have, and so me and S decided to go out of our way to taunt the crap out of this loser. I like to do a lot of trolling, and S doesn't mind participating in trolling when I ask her to, and so we decided to make a mockery out of this freak.

We'll refer to him as D. He (35, M) is the cringe doppelganger of a really cool knight. Why are me and S both so pissed off about him? Because he played a hand in causing the downfall of our mutual friend's wife!

Our mutual friend (29, M) that we'll refer to as T has made it widely known that he had a wife that he loved so much, but descended into a tyrant that he then followed the orders of until she died. And during an adventure where the toddler summoned all of us in a big intergalactic team, it was found out that D was involved in making T's wife turn evil!

What happened is that T gave his wife a mirror as a gift. But the mirror ended up making her corrupt. And we found out that D was using the mirror to manipulate her into becoming evil! Apparently, D was just following the orders of his dark master, but we don't care! He was still responsible for it anyways!

T beat the shit out of D one time. He tried to kill D! But the rest of the team broke up the fight and enforced a separation between the two. While the understood why T hated D, some of them believed that D could get better from what he did in the past, that he deserves a chance to improve like all us other ex-villains do.

Bro, D did something unforgivable! T had every right to wreck him! When the group enforced the separation, T broke down, devastated that he couldn't properly punish the person that had responsibility in destroying his wife. He was especially destroyed over how D once pointed out that it was still T's own fault for taking the mirror in the first place… but that doesn't excuse what D did!

Me and S decided to try to comfort T and tell him we'll have him covered. That's when we both decided to mock, taunt, harass and make fun of D. We chose to talk so much shit to his face.

I told lots of emo jokes to get on D's nerves, while S taunted him over how much of a crap doppelganger he is and that the knight he's a counterpart of is so much cooler than him in every way.

Of course, D got mad over us taunting him, and attempted to lash out at us a few times, but we're good dodgers, and it's funny watching him go nuts. He deserves to be tormented like this!

The least we could do is help T out after the group forced him to be separate from D!

Are we the assholes, or are we justified for doing this?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[v1smokewife]

Who is this person - chapter five

On a quest to find love on a dating website, Sanji falls head over heels for a woman with an interest in...alternative relationships that sends him down a rabbit hole of completing tasks for a seemingly sadistic mistress. But what happens when she turns out to be more than what she seems?

Or

Zoro pretends to be a female on the internet to talk to Sanji and bad things happen.

Read on ao3

fanfic contains themes of bad bdsm practices, homophobia, manipulation and coercion. not a fluffy zosan fic. Proceed with caution.

A week had passed since things had started and Zoro was well and truly fucked.

He’d not stopped at fingering. No, that was just the beginning of how far things would go. Every single command that he had given. It was like having his own porn star on hand for all of his dirty fantasies.

The trouble with porn though is that once you start it goes downhill from there. What I mean by that is that you tend to start looking for worse and worse until you’ve reached the bottom of the barrel. The more and more this went on, the more Zoro began to see Sanji less and less as someone he knew personally and more like porn for his eyes. Oh yes, they would converse, and Sanji was a lot nicer to him this way, but Zoro looked forward to the little requests he would make and then what he would do next.

It was just the facts. There was no point in hiding it. He didn’t see Sanji as a person as much as he saw him as a source of entertainment now. A fact in which he was deeply ashamed of. A fact that kept him up at night and made him hate himself even more. Never in his life has he ever felt this vile towards a person. Yet, when he goes into the photos section of his phone, the little regard he had for him his shown by the gallery of filth.

He was obsessed with Sanji. This much was clear, and it was only ever going to get worse and worse as the days dragged on.

Zoro’s eyes were currently drawn to his phone despite the fact that Luffy was standing at the kitchen counter. They were both in Zoro’s apartment currently. Luffy was no where near him, but Zoro was still apprehensive. Sanji had sent ‘Zoey’ more videos. One’s that were in a public changing room. He had managed to get him onboard with sending more videos despite giving very little in return. Zoro was too busy looking at the thumbnail which had Sanji perfectly framed like a goddamn perfect cinematographer would.

“Hey, do you want to go to the Baratie tonight?”

Through his thoughts, Luffy’s carefree and happy voice sounded through the depth of his despair. Like sunshine through a storm. Luffy was none the wiser to anything that had been going on. How could he be? Even though they spent every day together, Luffy never pried into anything. That was why Zoro enjoyed his company. Much more so over Nami…who has been weird with him ever since. Although, he could understand her reasoning but, in her mind, it should be over. Or maybe she knows something more than what she is letting on.

But even then, he’s barely seen her. How could she know?

“Not particularly,” Zoro didn’t mean that. There was an excitement bubbling up in his stomach. A feeling he got whenever he thought about the fact, he would see Sanji as himself. It was a strange feeling. It was like being hidden in plain sight. All it would take was a gesture to his phone and then Sanji would know what’s been going on. Would he believe him? Or would he be in that much denial that he’s possibly being played for a fool by someone he hates.

“Awh come on. Shanks ain’t gonna be here tonight. I’m going to be so bored on my own and I know that Sanji is working,”

“That’s exactly why,” Zoro crossed his arms in feigned indifference. An indifference that wasn’t correct or true in the slightest.

“I don’t understand why you hate him anyway,” Luffy said with the sincerest innocence that rivalled his own dark brewing thoughts, “He’s a good cook. What more could you want in a friend?”

“He’s an asshole. There’s more to being a good friend than being a good cook,” Zoro responded rather dismissively.

“Oh, I know that. It’s not like you or Nami can cook,” If that came from anyone else, Zoro might have taken it as shade, but it was far from shade. It was just a fact in Luffy’s eyes, “He’s never been an asshole to me,”

“I’m happy for you,” Why did that sound a lot meaner than it meant to be. Zoro shook it off and continued, “Fine. We’ll go to the Baratie tonight,”

“I knew you’d come around,” Luffy threw his fist into the air, nearly knocking himself into the counter in front of them, “I already have Nami onboard too,”

Oh goodie. Nami. Wonderful.

“That’s fine with me,” Zoro responded with more indifference, even if it wasn’t particularly true. He could be indifferent all he wanted but his mind was on other things. Like his current plan. His mind has been turning about what he wanted to do next with Sanji. Luffy continued to talk about something. Normally the conversations tended to be about what him and Shanks had been up to recently (Shanks was something of an adoptive father…kinda) or what Luffy had been doing with any a number of his friends.

See, he knew this had to come to an end. He knew just as well as anyone that he couldn’t keep his up for too long. He knew this moment of joy had an expiration date and well, he had to bring this into real life. He knew this because every day, Sanji asked Zoey if they could meet up and Zoey gave him excuse after excuse on why they couldn’t. It wasn’t the right time or Zoey couldn’t make the commitment. He didn’t know if Sanji was stupid or desperate to make things work with her but he accepted her excuses…well, until they next day when he’d ask again.

Although Zoro through him dumb and pathetic for being so accepting of every lame excuse no matter how silly they probably all seemed, he admired the determination to ask every single day of the week the burning question. When would they meet?

Never. Because Zoro had a plan to put Sanji in his lap before Sanji even figures it out.

And it starts with a simple question. One that Zoro had typed out on the phone. No hello, no greetings or small talk. Right into the meat and potatoes. While Luffy was busy regaling some cook and awesome tale that he had been doing with Shanks, Zoro half listened and then typed out onto his phone.

Z: I’ve been meaning to ask.

Z: Have you ever thought about…exploring sexuality a little?

He pressed send on the message then looked up at Luffy who was currently helping himself to whatever food was in the cupboards. Zoro could only look up and speak.

“I’m going to the bathroom,”

Luffy didn’t look at him and just raised his hand with a thumbs up in his direction, “Have fun!”

Oh, he will.

Zoro got up and left Luffy to his own devices in the kitchen before going into the bathroom where he leaned up against the sink. Immediately, his fingers were reaching for that video in the messages before Zoro played it. He was delightful over the sight. A partially naked Sanji sitting on the floor of a changing room. His fingers slick with lube as they press and prod against that tight rim.

He wanted desperately to feel that rim stretched around his cock so badly. Wanted it…craved it. All Zoro wanted was to feel Sanji come apart underneath him. He didn’t even like Sanji in a romantic sense but seeing him like this was driving him absolutely insane. It was like an obsession he couldn’t break away from or a spell because he was totally hypnotised by the way that he moved.

The way his long fingers slipped inside that tight hole and the way that Sanji’s head always learned back in pleasure as he did it. The way he moved his fingers in and out of himself. It was the kind of way someone who is so unsure but gets lost in it either way.

The moans though…the moans were music to his ears and the more he heard them, the more he became addicted to them.

Fuck it, he couldn’t last much longer. He used a hand to get himself out of his pants so he could wrap his fingers around his cock. It felt like the release he really truly needed. If he could get his plan to work, maybe…just maybe he could get to feel that tight hole around his cock. Even if it’s just once…even if it’s once and then that’s it. He could live with it being a once off thing but he needed it desperately.

“Ah- Master-!”

Sanji’s voice in the video brought him out of his thoughts. In Zoro’s mind, he was trying desperately to imagine that his hand is some part of Sanji’s body…his hole or his mouth…he doesn’t know what he would prefer at this point.

“That’s it…” Zoro grunted, as if he was really there, “Take it…take it you slut,”

He couldn’t help it. The way the blonde pissed him off whenever he seen him, he would die on the spot for the privilege to call Sanji a degrading nickname like that.

He didn’t last much longer. Shortly after he watched Sanji come over his waist and it made Zoro want to do the same. In a hypothetical situation where he’s fucking Sanji, he would love nothing more than to cum on his beautiful face or on his waist…but then again, he couldn’t imagine not cumming inside that perfect ass.

Zoro finished with a groan, pressing his hips and rutting into his own hand as he came into them. He continued to stroke until he was over it and he finished the video. Every video Sanji sent was wonderful. For being inexperienced, the blonde really knows how to send a video. Now, time to try and go outside. Maybe tonight, he’d see Sanji.

——————————

“Sanji!” Luffy banged on the door of the Baratie that night. The three of them were standing in the rain. Nami had joined them, and it did nothing to settle Zoro at all. What was worse was Sanji had yet to reply. It was rather unusual as even during his busiest days he normally would reply.

Then again, knowing Sanji, he’s probably taken offence to this question. It was going to take a hard sell for Zoey to convince Sanji to try men. Sanji is very reluctant to do anything with men in the best of days so this would be something that would take a hard sell, but Zoro thought it was perhaps possible.

If he could promise meeting Zoey at the same time…then perhaps…

“Hey hey I’m coming,”

Out emerged Sanji, looking rather disgruntled. Either paperwork got him down or annoyance from Luffy banging on the door one or more times. Using a key, he opened the door and he nearly had to hold his hand out to stop Luffy from coming inside, “What have I told you? If Zeff finds out…”

“Oh, he’s not gonna find out. Come on, let me in!” Luffy basically pushed his way past Sanji and headed straight to the kitchen. The strength of that boy. Nami was next, batting her eyes at Sanji and ducking under his arm which Sanji folded easily under. Of course, he would let Nami through. However, when Zoro popped his head through, Sanji nearly slammed the door straight at him, but it was lucky that Zoro caught the door with his hands.

“Nice try,” Zoro said rather smugly. One would assume that Zoro was being smug because he caught the door but seeing Sanji here right now, he could practically hear the moaning and begging in his ears. The flushed expression on his face…he could see if like a shadow. Oh, how Zoro wished he could reveal his little secret at Sanji sometimes…how he could turn that face of disgust into horror at all the acts of pleasure he’s unseeingly done for Zoro’s eyes. How he wished that he could reveal it now?

Christ. Now he really wanted to jack himself off thinking about him. More importantly, thoughts of jacking off on his face flooded his brain so Zoro turned around and headed to the bar.

He would ruin his own plans and he didn’t want to do that. Not here anyway. Instead, he just pushed past the blonde who mumbled something under his breath.

“You talk a lot of shit for someone who I could easily beat the shit out of right now,”

Sanji’s eyebrows knitted together, “Yeah yeah. Just shut the fuck up and get inside. I’m only tolerating you because Luffy keeps you around,”

There was only a laugh that came out of Zoro as he took up his usual space, near the bar where he would accept his one free beer minimum that Sanji graciously allowed to him. At first, it was only Nami that was allowed one drink and then Zoro complained loud enough that he got the drink too…so he graciously accepted his one beer.

Now, all he had to wonder was if Sanji was annoyed at Zoey for asking such a question.

“So! Sanji,” Nami’s voice rang through before Sanji could make his way back to the office, “How was your date yesterday?”

Wait, how did Nami know?

“Ah!” There was a little bit of a flush on the blonde’s face. Zoro leaned back and recalled the events. If by ‘date’ Nami meant he was given a task to take some very compromising pictures in a changing room then sure, that was a date, “I…Yes, it went well. Thank you Nami. I think it’s getting serious,”

Zoro could only lean back. Really? Getting serious? Is that the impression Sanji got?

He really had to wonder what planet the blonde was on to think that this was a serious relationship. Zoro only had to wonder what made him think that in his head right now.

“See, I told you. Plenty of fish in the sea,” Nami seemed smug. Almost too smug for Zoro’s liking. It felt like she knew something that he didn’t…or more likely to be the case…what Sanji didn’t know, “You didn’t need Zoey anyway,”

“Ah! Yeah…”

Zoro could see that Sanji was uncomfortable and to be honest, Zoro was feeling pissed off at Nami for bringing it up. Did he have a reason to be pissed off? No, because he hadn’t learned his leason but Nami didn’t know that. Nami was just doing it to be petty. That much was clear to him right now.

“I’m surprised a girl has even tolerated you…” Zoro couldn’t help himself in the middle of all this awkwardness that he was currently feeling right now with Nami’s piss poor attitude, “Must have really fucking shitty standards,”

“You’re just jealous because no one would probably go near you in a million years,” Sanji was quick to shoot back with almost a Jekyll and Hyde transformation when it came from going from being all cute and blushing to Nami to being… well a dickhead to Zoro. Typical. Nothing every really changes here.

“I’m not fucking jealous of you scourging the internet for a girlfriend. It’s fucking pathetic, curly,” Zoro tilted his head back and gestured vaguely before taking a sip of his lukewarm beer, “I could get someone, but it wouldn’t be on the fucking internet, that’s for sure,”

“Zoro,” Nami’s voice spoke before Sanji could even retaliate, “Can you both just get along for a change?”

“When he stops being a fucking asshole,” Zoro slinked back with his beer. Sanji said something along the lines of “says you” before storming off into the back. Zoro doesn’t say anything for a moment before he looks over at Nami.

“Okay…what was all that about?”

And as usual, Nami feigns innocence, “What is what about?”

“You know…that,” Zoro said, before leaning back up instead, “If you honestly think I’m getting all jealous about Sanji having a girlfriend then you need to think again,”

“I don’t think you’re jealous…” Nami muttered but Zoro knew there was still something behind it and he was going to say something.

“What is your fucking problem?” Zoro placed the beer down. It was serious time. Time for a serious chat, “Ever since you found out, you’ve been on my back. Can’t you just move on,”

Oh. That was it. Nami turned and glared at him, “I just can’t believe you won’t admit that you’re wrong. That’s my problem, Zoro. You did something so messed up to one of my friends and you honestly expect me to be cool with you,”

Oh Nami. If you only knew the contents of his phone’s memory or the things, he things about at night after finishing a conversation with Sanji. If only you knew… if you only knew how bad things had gotten since then. You would be absolutely mortified. You’d probably kill him. That’s what he wanted to avoid happening. He didn’t want Nami getting involved again.

“Yeah well, I did as you asked. Short of apologising, I don’t know what else you want me to actually do about it,” Zoro played it casual even if he was starting to get annoyed at the direction of the conversation. He kept thinking and hoping that Nami would just leave him to enjoy his beer, but this little thing had become a festering sore spot between them, and Zoro didn’t really know how to swat it away. Maybe Nami would keep at it until he found something out…which was not great…not great at all.

“You won’t admit you were in the wrong…that’s my issue,” She sighed. Zoro didn’t really know what to say to that seeing as he knew well and truly that he was in the wrong, but he really didn’t know what she wanted him to do about it while they were here. It seemed to be the end of the conversation and Zoro seemed to refuse to acknowledge it for a minute as he slinked back in his chair with his beer in hand…

LOGGING ON; S

Z: I’ve been meaning to ask.

Z: Have you ever thought about…exploring sexuality a little

How did one singular message send you into a whirlwind of emotions.

He had been staring at it for hours and he’s simply not really sure how he’s supposed to respond to it. He’s never really thought too deeply about this. He’s been comfortable for years being a straight man. In fact, he’s never even thought deeply about what it would be like to date a man. He’s never considered it.

However, Zoey is asking him and it’s likely to get him to do so. He’s not stupid. Rose tinted glasses yes, but Sanji can read between the lines of a conversation and know why she’s asking. He just doesn’t know how he feels.

Would he be…open to doing things with a man?

At first, he is thinking absolutely not but then the more and more he thinks about it, the more and more possibilities begin to open.

Okay well maybe not a long-term thing but what about a once off? Would be be so against it if Zoey was there? What if they had a threesome with another man? Would he really be against that?

One message had him questioning himself a little too much. In the office, he’s so behind on the work he’s supposed to be doing. He should have been almost done with cashing up but he’s barely started and all because he doesn’t know how he feels about Zoey is asking him.

Is she going to ask him to have sex with another man? Because he doesn’t know if he’s ready for that at all.

S: Sorry I didn’t respond earlier.

S: I don’t really know how I feel about that. I’ve never thought about men that way.

She was almost immediately back to him. It was like she must have been waiting at her phone for him to reply to her pressing question.

Z: Hmmm…

Z: What if I was there?

Z: If we had a threesome with another man, would you be open to that?

A threesome with another man doesn’t necessarily mean he has to interact with said man. He could always focus entirely on Zoey. Although, with the basis of the conversation, she’s looking for something entirely different.

S: Hmm... still not sure.

Z: Have you ever had thoughts about men?

Z: You don’t have to be afraid of telling me. I want to help you feel more comfortable with yourself.

S: I’m not sure.

S: Truthfully, I’ve never thought too deeply about it.

Z: I understand where you are coming from.

Z: I’d never make you do something that you don’t want.

Z: But I think it would be good for you to try and open your mind to other avenues of pleasure.

Z: I would like to help you with that.

The thing was that the way that Zoey spoke about it as if it was a big life changing experience. Well, for Sanji, it probably would be somewhat life changing as he’s never ever even considered this in the past.

He doesn’t even like men in a friendly way. He tried to think of he had male friends. Okay, Luffy but Luffy was different. Luffy was in general a good person. Most men are not good people. If his own family…

No, he’d rather not think about that. His biological father and brothers can rot wherever they are now. He’s lucky now. He has a much better father figure. Zeff was not like most men he’s met either. Sure, Zeff was an asshole when he wanted to be but he really owed it to Zeff for him still being alive.

There was Zoro…but Sanji didn’t want to think about him. Zoro was a pain in the ass. He didn’t dislike Zoro by any means. No, there was a great deal of respect for Zoro but at the same time…goddamn Zoro was a fucking asshole too. The way he was probably sitting through in the bar, lapping up his one free drink like the bordering alcoholic he is whilst being smug about it…goddamn, not he was the LAST person Sanji would have sex with. Hell, if, for example, Sanji was feeling that way and wanted to try men out… then it wouldn’t be Zoro. Zoro was perhaps the last person he would have sex with. He wouldn’t even have sex with Zoro if they were the last two people on the planet…not that it would have any biological benefits because neither of them could have children but that wasn’t the point of this rant.

The point was that Sanji really needed to give this some thought.

S: Can I think about it?

Z: Of course.

Z: No stress.

Why did it feel like she was being awfully short with him now? He flat up had now forgotten with what he was doing now

S: … is everything okay?

He didn’t want to upset her. He really didn’t want to ruin what they had even if she was currently asking something totally out there.

Z: I’m fine.

Z: Just take your time thinking about it.

Z: I’m off.

Zoey is offline.

Sanji could feel the sting of these words as she made her internet exit out. A feeling not too different from a tight stabbing anxiety festered in his chest as he watched the screen as if she would jump back and by like ‘sike just kidding lmao’ but she was truly offline now and truly annoyed with him. He couldn’t see her…but he knew she was.

“Fuck sake...”

Should he have just gone with what she was asking him?

Sanji decided he had to high tail it out of here. He quickly did a shoddy job of cashing up and getting all the paperwork done with. His head was just filled with it now. Filled with regret and a smidge of anxiety that maybe he should have just went along with it. She had been so good to him all week…why would he do something to upset her? Yeah, it was because of him being uncomfortable but he was supposed to be a man about the whole thing.

He shoved his phone in his pocket before going out to see Nami, Luffy and Zoro in the bar. For some reason, the joy that Sanji would feel seeing his friends was not there. The annoyance at himself for ruining his thing with Zoey was there.

“Hey!” Luffy said, almost bounding over with excitement, “The food that you left? Incredible. Truly wonderful. Pity there wasn’t more…I almost went into the big fridge and- “

“You better not have!” Sanji’s voice came sharper than it normally would which was visible in Luffy’s face. Sanji quickly realised that he wasn’t acting right and coughed, “I…uh, have a headache. I won’t be hanging around,” He tried to manage a smile although it clearly wasn’t real, “Sorry,”

Luffy’s face relaxed and a smile came onto his face, “Hey, don’t sweat it. I’ll find somewhere else to get good food don’t worry,”

“Is everything okay?” Nami’s voice was a lot more concerned filled. She had noticed he didn’t seem as happy as he had earlier.

“I’m fine. Just a headache,” Sanji tried to brush it off. He didn’t want them to worry mainly because he didn’t want Nami to know he didn’t listen.

“Did your girlfriend dump you because you’re the headache?” It seemed completely uncalled for an unnecessary when Zoro piped in but confusingly enough, Zoro’s attitude completely changed too. To the unknowing eye, it was as if Sanji infected Zoro with his shitty mood because Zoro’s demeanour changed entirely. He was once relaxed looking but his words had a sharpness to them. He wasn’t relaxed at all.

Nami gave him a confused look. Where had this came from? She seemed to be the only one in the room that picked up that both Zoro and Sanji suddenly changed attitudes that almost mimicked each-others. Even Luffy looked at them both with confusion.

That was incredibly suspicious…especially on Zoro’s part.

“You got a fucking problem, shithead,” And of course… Sanji was already in a bad mood so both of them being in a bad mood. As Zoro was about to get up, Nami stood in the space between them both.

“Seriously guys, one night? One night where you both don’t fight, please,” Now she was becoming as equally pissed off at the pair of them. Zoro didn’t approach any further and didn’t say anything more, “Sanji, if you have a headache, that’s fine. Go home,” but she didn’t believe that. She’s now suspicious all over again.

“Right…sorry,” Sanji mumbled. Zoro didn’t say anything. No explanation as to why he suddenly jumped down Sanji’s throat. Nothing.

Once they were all through with, Sanji decided to lock up the shop and head to his apartment. It was there he finally collapsed into bed but the feeling he had wouldn’t go away. He felt guilty. Guilty about hesitating. Maybe he should have just gone with her idea when she brought it up… maybe if he truly cared…he would have done as she asked.

He decided to sleep on it. Maybe she would come back to him tomorrow.

Maybe.

#one piece zosan #vinsmoke sanji #zoro x sanji #zosan #zosan fanfic #opla #roronoa zoro #one piece #op zosan #one peice #one piece fanfiction

[kennyomegasweave]

Some random Only Friends thoughts about the characters and the relationships so far because this show is kicking my ass. I’m OBSESSED.

Boston. He's just so pathetic. He's been turned down THREE TIMES now for repeat dick and still he persists. Girl stand up. But I have so many questions for him. Why is he like this? Why does he have beef with Mew? Why does he clearly find Ray's massive unrequited crush on Mew funny from his own glass house? Why does he even want Top again so badly? He was turned down before the show, so it can’t just be because of Mew. Is it because Top was the one to top? Because in every sex scene he’s had so far he’s a shitty rough top, but we all know he’s gonna be bouncing on Top’s dick in that car next week. The only time I feel he was sincere was when he said he’s cool with hanging out with Nick outside of sex, but I can’t decide if it’s because he actually likes Nick’s company or if he just likes keeping around his toy that’s hella into him.

Boston continually having sex with Nick and calling him one of his favorites is such an asshole thing. It's giving Ritsu banging Masumi all over the apartment while saying I love you, then saying "oh we were never dating, if that's an issue, we don't have to do this anymore." Just an asshole move. Though at least he let Nick know they’re not dating, but it's not a good thing to keep fucking someone when you know they have feelings for you and you do not have them. Time will tell if Boston will regret his actions in regards to Nick or not.

Nick. Right now, he’s just a poor little meow meow, but I honestly don’t know what he was expecting. Boston is a notorious slut. He also hasn’t lied to him about where they stand. The closest he got to lying is saying Nick is one of his favorites, but I’m not sure that’s actually a lie. Nick is obviously one of Boston’s favorite toys right now because he keeps going back, but I don't think Nick understands that being Boston's current favorite doesn't mean much. Nick really screwed himself choosing anything when Boston gave him the option of fuck buddies or friends with benefits when he clearly doesn’t want either. I’m intrigued to see where living with Sand is gonna go.

Mew. Mew’s going to regret the game he’s playing with Top when he catches real feelings. I think Mew thinks he’s a master manipulator. He acknowledges Top may only be with him because he wants to bang a virgin and says he’s wondering how long he can make Top stay without giving it up, but if the confessionals are to be believed as true, he clearly thinks he’s changing Top. And, in his defense, he might be kinda? Top isn’t getting along with the majority of his friends but Ray’s not going to like anyone Mew dates because it’s not him and Boston really isn’t a friend, let’s be real. Cheum and Mew really seem to be the only friends there and Top and her are getting along swimmingly. I loved him asking Top when he was gonna go home after making him put his new table together and then banishing him to the couch. That’s right. Make him work for it. And, if Boston wasn’t the shittiest friend, Top might not have cheated on him so I can’t even say making him wait was a bad game to play. 

Top. I still can’t read this man. Outside of my pettiness at him wearing tucked in polo shirts and dress pants & shoes while he’s a 22 year old man in college, there’s really not anything to be mad at him for so far. The public ‘be my boyfriend’ was shitty, but Mew let him know that, checked him, and humbled him. I'm not going to say he cheated in that shower cause he really didn't look all that willing. He didn’t touch Boston back once, he literally rolled his eyes, and flat out told him no. I’ve seen a shower scene in another show get called sexual assault when the other dude gave more of a positive reaction than Top did. So it’s interesting how that’s not being discussed. Obviously he has sex with Boston next week, but as of now, he’s turned Boston down THREE TIMES and yet Boston won’t leave him alone. It’s sad. I don’t know for sure if his tragic backstory is true, but I can’t see why he’d lie. It didn’t even get him in Mew’s bed. Plus in the trailer we saw him taking hella pills while sad and sleeping pills can be used in attempts, so I mean…

Ray. He definitely has a drinking problem and his friends all know. He was drinking from a flask in the morning and all Mew did was say “a flask again?” Plus him saying it’s just a little bit to start the day. Oh baby boy no. He has a sad backstory with his dead mom and I feel for him. He stalked Sand all day because he’s clearly interested, but I don’t think he really even knows it yet because he’s still so hung up on Mew. He really said the heart and dick are two separate things and, while that’s such a fuckboy thing to say, it's true for him because right now his heart wants Mew and his dick wants Sand. At some point he’s going to have to reconcile with that and I already know it’s gonna hurt.

I don’t think it’s a good idea for an alcoholic and a dude making his own alcohol to be anything. It’s like how I spent 1.5 years drinking for the cheapest cost ever when I had a thing with a bartender (I did something like 20 shots and had 4 other drinks on my birthday and only spent $12 that night). It’s great in theory, and you can even have real feelings, but it’s terrible in practice. lol

Sand. Oh Sand. I really feel like he’s gonna catch feelings and he knows it, but I also think he knows Ray’s gonna be the one to make it an issue. I admire him getting cockblocked by Ray yet still getting laid that night. I don’t really know why he’s hanging out with Ray. I get the money aspect, but I don’t buy that being the only reason. He clearly sees something in this drunk spoiled ass, but I don’t get it yet. Sorry buddy. Maybe him and Nick can comfort each other when shit hits the fans and leave this whole friend group alone? lol

In conclusion, I'm loving this show. It's beautiful.

#only friends #only friends the series #regular clyde

[opaldasilva]

Full name: Opal Estelle da Silva Gender: cisfemale Pronouns: she/her Birthday: May 30, 1993 Sexual orientation: bisexual Marital status: single, but also probably engaged to satan Moral alignment: chaotic neutral

(things like her age, personality, and even looks may change with whoever she's pursuing at the moment)

IMPORTANT STUFF (TW: PARENTAL DEATH, CANCER)

opal was born sofia estelle da silva to a very young mother and an absent father. without family to fall back on, the duo suffered financially. this led to many odd jobs that barely made ends meet.

but crime pays, baby!

a little petty theft here, a pickpocket there, some light manipulation and at least they went to sleep with full bellies

and like mother, like daughter, little 6 year old opal began to dip her toes in the shallow end of the crime pool. because honestly, she’d just blink those big, innocent brown eyes and they’d just assume she didn’t know any better

eventually, opal’s mom got an actual job– though they refused to give her full time which meant she got zero benefits– but opal didn’t feel it necessary to stop. she was good at it. and they still needed the money.

together, they managed to buy a house. it was the first real, solid thing they owned and it finally felt like they were getting somewhere

when opal's mom started seeing someone she was serious about for the first time in as long as opal could remember, she was happy for her. but then he kept making excuses as to why he couldn't come to dinner, why he had to cancel dates, and when it came out that he was the ceo of the company her mother was working for— and married at that— the bad feelings set in

then opal’s mom got sick

without health insurance, treatments went unsought and bills went unpaid and when opal’s mom eventually passed, the state came for those unpaid bills in the form of her estate.

left with absolutely nothing, opal moved (ran) away from miami, got a job as a cocktail waitress at a strip club in orlando, and called herself ruby.

and because gross old rich men are idiots, it was almost too easy when a patron took a liking to her, thinking himself clever as he gifted her a ruby. when she left town and pawned the gem, she’d hatched a new plan

that plan sorta came to a screeching halt when she tried to steal from the wrong dude. but instead of turning her in, he offered her a proposition. he could help her create fake identities with documents that were all but government issued. for a price. cocky as she was in her ability to pay it off, it turned out to not really be the case

the next place she lived, she was pearl and she found another sucker to fall into the same trap. and on it went: saffron, jade, diamond. it was too easy. and opal loved it.

it was at some point in colorado where fate finally dealt her a hand she could play with. pure coincidence had the son of her mom’s old boss (that asshole that would fuck her but wouldn’t give her fulltime and health benefits? yeah, him) and so opal ran the con of her life. she made him fall in love, relished in every second of it, and then took him for everything she could as she slipped away into the night. her only regret? not being there to see his face when he realized what she’d done. (at least, that’s what she likes to tell herself)

she made her way to california, chasing a tip that might lead her to the dude who essentially owns her at this point to cut herself free once and for all

she’s kinda evil and she kinda likes it

but she’s fun

come play with her

#hmbintro

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Before I start my first re-watch of TUA 3 I want to organize myself: [spoilers]

Starting from what I recall my first feelings were: loved the fighting scene with the Sparrows. While watching it I kept remembering how a lot of people, me included, thought it was funny how the Brellies were kicking ass at the trailer while the Sparrows were being bullies on Twitter. LOL. Well, one of the funniest sentences was "they must be exhausted after kicking our asses" or something like that, i haven't memorized it yet. Beautiful.

Luther fell at first sight, and so did Sloane and I loved the Stockholm thing (not the actual Stockholm thing obv). Viktor threatening Marcus got me all hot and bothered. Fei had eyes everywhere, which is such a badass move to go with her entire wardrobe. Jayme is a snake and I fucking love snakes. Alphonso was such a hoot, "punch me in the face" - hilarious.

Then we entered the second episode and there's where things started to get a little darker. Majorly because of Allison. Trauma, PTSD, panic attacks? We're going deeper into the darkness here and I getting worried for my girl. Viktor coming out had me in tears. Five thinking he could finally relax and retire? Yeah, no. I feel so bad for him. Klaus figuring out his momma died. Five singing along the radio and having to stop because the cows turned to dust, godammit.

I wanna talk about Ben. "Why do they keep looking at me like that?" Like what, sweetie? Like they love you? Yeah. I'm looking at you like that too. It was like he kept getting pissed about their attitude because they just showed love for him, but it wasn't even for him "him", it was the other Ben, but they could totally still learn how to love this Ben too. Klaus was working himself up to it, and we see that from Ben's expression when Reggie says Klaus "didn't make it". This Ben was a major asshole, but when they didn't invite him to the bachelor party? I felt that. And personally, i didn't think he was that unlikable to be excluded from the party. Oh, and i totally taught he was going to die on the last episode.

Reginald fucking Hargreeves. This (bad connotation) snake. I didn't believe the "pilled" Daddy until Pogo showed up. That's also when I confirmed my paradoxal concerns, that Klaus fucked up big time teaching him how to cheat on his meds and trusting this "nice old innocent shit face" facade. It was obvious he was playing each and every one of them by emotion with deep manipulation and acting. He went very far for this and I'm not even sure what it is. But I wavered at the wedding, when he was all alone and shit. But then Five saw him making a deal and I came back from that emotional place.

I've spent too long on this (I had to stop and come back a few times). Completely lost my points. I need a complete solo post for Allison.

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy spoilers #tua s3 #tua s3 spoilers

[impressiverunaway]

Draft Dump: Still on my mind (2/4)

and of course I'm annoyed as hell about it. I really do not know why I am having such a hard time with this. I've been in these types of situations with the constant back and fourth that never go anywhere. He knows what I am looking for and claims he wants the best for me. That he needs a few years to focus on what he wants. Is it vain of me to believe he wants me, but for the toxic male thing where they're taught showing emotions is bad, that may be the reason he is holding back. Why show up at my house at 4am if you don't see things going anywhere between us. Why make comments consistently about me having a boyfriend if you don't care about me in that way. Was it because you had been drinking. Is being with someone that displays a drinking problem someone that I'd like to go down that path with. No, I absolutely do not. But I could see him turning his life around and I'm not sure what that means. Things definitely got complicated way too fast. It's the connection between us that is hard to let go, that I feel at least. It's been very childish, but in a sweet kind of way. Like we are young, sneaking time together without our parents knowing. Slipping out through a window. It's exciting, thrilling. And for the most part, I enjoy spending time with you. It just becomes very frustrating, and I get tired of being bothered by the same thing. I am very much confident I'm a great catch. On the road I am on, I'll only be getting greater every day. He's gotta keep up, and move faster than I am. His standard for a man, is not a standard I care for. It's 2023, times have changed. There are so many old school standards that have long been left in the past. No sex before marriage. Different times. Women being the primary bread winner is a thing. It shouldn't be all one sided in my opinion. I like to pull my own weight and would like things to at least be 50/50. Yes, I would love to have my own sustainable income no matter what. And fuck yeah, who wouldn't want a spouse/partner that would gift play money just for the hell of it. It's sad really, because the friends in his circle, that I am aware of, aren't going anywhere in life either. I knew one of them well, and I'm sure still do know the type of person he is today. I very briefly had an interaction with another that cannot follow through with anything. And the last, a band member, doesn't sound like he has any faith in him either. He also said the dumbest shit like "i can predict his future lol". Telling me he's known him for a long time and there is nothing I can tell him that he doesn't already know. That he can just look at his face and know everything. I told him "Good luck with that." Of course, all of this is happening at a very odd transition in my life and recent diagnosis of BPD. So, I am really struggling to weed out if this is who I naturally am. I'm starting to realize more and more that I am not this overly nice person that I thought I was. It was drilled into me to be respectful, which is a good quality to have in a person. Considering all of these self-entitled assholes. I literally just looked up self-entitled to make sure I had the correct term and it's described my father to a tee. I don't want to be like him, ever. And as I first saw the basic definition, I felt overwhelmed by a sense of fear that I am self-entitled without knowing so and had to read more to discover if that is in fact me, or not. It in no way is. What a fucking relief. I know I've have some moments in life that I regret. Mistakes that I have learned from and will continue to learn from. Of course I can be strong enough to know when someone is manipulative, I've had plenty of experience to be able to identify it. Someone that is closed minded and cannot consider that they may be wrong. I just ended two friendships because they are not meeting my standards as friends.

#journal #personal #bpd #dating #mental health #love

[journalofsorts2]

i have so many mixed feelings about my dad. i want to love him without a doubt, i really do, but it's just so hard. he's a great dad, he's leagues above my mom at least because he's not emotionally abusive and manipulative y'know? like if i had to pick a parent, i'd pick my dad in a heartbeat. but as i get more and more distant from my mom, as i stop thinking of my parents in black and white, "good" parent and "bad" parent, i start to see his flaws. now don't get me wrong, he's a good dad, every time i go down this line of thought i feel so guilty because he's a good dad, he was present throughout my whole childhood, he financially provides, he schedules doctors appointments, he gives us rides when we need them, he let me stay in the house both times i came out, he puts up with an abusive marriage so that our lives don't turn to utter shit, he put up with two shitty kids who hated him because he married their mom, he occasionally makes the time to hang out with us and play games and shit, like he's a good dad, so i feel so guilty for being angry at him. i'm angry because he prioritizes work so much of the time. i'm angry because while i was get abused by my mom he either didn't care enough to put a stop to it or he wasn't at home often enough to even notice it. i'm angry because he either didn't notice or didn't care that i cried myself to sleep most nights by age 7. i'm angry because while he's there for the good times, when it comes to serious issues he throws a fit. i'm angry because it took him so many years to accept the possibility that i might be autistic. i'm angry because he didn't try harder to have me not committed to a psych ward. i'm angry because i can't talk with him about negative emotions i have towards him without them getting thrown back in my face. i'm angry because if i cry when we're arguing he takes it as an attack against him. i'm angry because despite the numerous times i've told him not to yell because it's one of, if not my biggest trigger with my ptsd, he keeps yelling. i'm angry because i feel like half the time i talk to him it's like talking to a wall. i'm angry because every good moment i have with him lately he ruins by bringing up some way he's not appreciated enough. i'm angry because sometimes he acts as if i'm the one emotionally abused him and not my mom. i'm angry because i've been paying for my mom's mistakes with him. i'm angry because i shouldn't have to feel like i need to protect my little sister when i was in second grade. i'm angry for so many reasons. i'm angry for so so many reasons with him. and i feel so utterly guilty about it. because every time in the past that i've tried to lightly bring up one of my issues with him he immediately goes on the defense and i feel like an asshole for feeling the way i do. i feel so utterly guilty about it because, whether purposely or not, he's managed to convince me that because he's a better alternative to my mom i should just be happy with what i've got. i feel guilty because he's made me feel like i'm wrong for having any issues with him. and because i'm so used to blindly taking his word i believe him when he makes me feel like this. i believe him that this as good as it's gonna get. i believe him that because he's not abusive, that he's the perfect parent. and so i bottle all this up, and just for good measure i bottle it up some more, until these feelings are so repressed that i have to tear myself apart just to find them. i'm such a fucking people pleaser because if i wasn't, maybe i might stand up to him some more. if i wasn't, maybe i would've challenged him when he told me something along the lines of "you better not piss me off because i'm all that you have left". maybe if i wasn't such a fucking pussy, maybe if i finally stopped giving a shit what he thinks about me, maybe i might be better off for it. instead of sacrificing my happiness and well being just so he doesn't have one more problem added to his plate. i don't fucking know man. i feel like shit because of him. i wish i had parents who loved me without a doubt.

i wish i had someone who fucking loved me man. platonically or not, idc as long as i'm loved. i fucking hate existing at the moment because i feel so utterly unloved. i feel like shit all the time and i have no one to go to and no one who cares because i'm a self isolating piece of shit. i just want to end it all y'know? i want it all to be over. i'm tired of waiting everyday for a better tomorrow. there is no better tomorrow, it's today and today stinks. i want to die. i want this miserable excuse of a life to be over. idk man rant over ig. i fucking hate myself

#journalofsorts rants

[trashmouththeorist]

mcu peter sucks, im sorry

in terms of the spider-men/women/pigs, i don’t really have a favourite. however, i do have a LEAST favourite, and that is the MCU Peter Parker portrayed by Tom Holland.

The integrity of Spider-Man comes from that fact that he is a working-class hero, fights for the little guy, and his origin story.

and all that was destroyed once the MCU got involved.

why did they not use his origin story? does oscorp exist? harry osborn?? what?? who tf is ned? why does he have powers? why does this movie suck so much? Why are there zero stakes?

-on the ‘who tf is ned’ point, to clarify, i know who he is. ned leeds, the abusive husband of betty brant. then they make this OOC Ned date this OOC Betty. Huh?

where did ben go? why is stark here? why does he like stark? why didn’t he make his own suit? 

why is he everything spider-man is not?

the writers obviously noticed the problem, because in nwh, they rapidly back-pedaled to him being poor, making his own suits, and not having a billionaire on speed-dial to bail him out of his problems despite the billionaire still being a manipulative jackass and treating him like shit, while representing everything he stands against.

also, i did NOT like the idea of ‘mj’ being a collective spider-man gf term and just changing up the name. zendaya could’ve been mary-jane watson. michelle jones just...

i don’t even care about the fact she’s not a comic character - it’s just the fact they made her mj instead? when mary-jane is mj? idk i just didn’t like that. there are SO many comic characters he could’ve fallen in love with. it didn’t need to be this oc mj. i know people hate sam raimi mj, but she was still cool with sexist writing. comic mary-jane is such a badass. why did they not replicate that? why not ask zendaya to play original mary-jane? ‘cus she’s not white? that shit ain’t a ‘homage’ to the og mj, it’s just awful.

irondad as a concept needs to die already. please. im so done. peter is manipulated and ignored - CONSTANTLY - by Tony. that’s not acting like a father, it’s acting like a jackass. and he HAS  parental figure - aunt May. and he had a father figure - uncle Ben. irondad is creepy and reeks of grooming.

plus, they stole a bunch of concepts (for nwh too, but im not specifically talking about that) from miles morales and itsv. they copied the spider-men meeting each other, and copied miles’ personality for mcu peter. and somehow, miles is STILL more likeable. i miss the days when you could scroll through the peter parker tag without seeing tom holland and r*bert d*wney jr.

but also, literally every other spider-man would’ve been team cap. plus, andrew also said so. they’re working-class heroes. to argue against that is to be wrong. i don’t blame tom!peter for being manipulated and blackmailed. i blame the writers for being assholes, and most importantly, robert downey jr for his 15 million dollar profit off of 8 minutes of mediocre (at best) acting. -(also, saying - he’s such a good actor, he’s tony in real life! - literally makes him a bad actor with no range. someone reviewed dolittle, saying that it was so bad that it seemed like rdj was trying to sabotage his own movie. and i agree.) peter was manipulated and misinformed into being team tony. there is no variation of spider-man that would EVER be team iron-man. unless they’re fckign crazy.

also, tom holland said that if peter parker could bring anyone back from the dead, it would be tony st*rk. no btich.

also howard stark was really hot i just feel like saying that

tobey’s and andrew’s are actually ACCURATE spider-men, and the mcu needs to take notes.

this quickly turned into a tony hate post, but he is the root of mcu peter’s main issues, so.

anyways, stan miles morales

a true icon.

#peter parker #spider-man #anti iron man #anti tony stark #anti irondad #anti mcu spider-man #anti mcu peter parker #anti rdj #miles morales

[cybersvoid]

How They React To Someone Flirting With You 

♡ Pairings: Tsukishima x Reader || Kenma x Reader || Hinata x Reader

!!Warnings!!: Manipulation, Obsession, Cursing, Controlling, Threats, Jealousy, etc.

+ He’s silently fuming

+ Gripping his console so tight in his hands that his knuckles turned white

+ ‘Game Over’ screen had been displayed for a few minutes already, but his attention was elsewhere

+ His eyes were locked onto you... more honestly, locked onto you as some nobody gave the most shittiest attempts at flirting with you

+ He knew going to this party was a bad idea, but Kuroo insisted

+ You were too precious and clueless for your own good. You didn’t know that the only thing this asshole really wanted was to get in your pants, but that’s okay! That’s what he’s here for

+ As your boyfriend, it’s his job to protect you, and it’s past time he got to work on just that

+ “Y/N, this party isn’t really doing it for me. Why don’t we head home and have some fun just the two of us?”

+ Now you and Kenma both know that what he actually meant when he said that, was playing video games together while you sat in his lap, but it could easily be misunderstood by anyone who isn’t the both of you, which was exactly what he was counting on

+ By how red the guys face got, Kenma could definitely say his mission was a success, but just to put the final nail in the coffin, he made sure that the guy saw as he pulled you in for a kiss

+ Not usually one for public displays of affection, he didn’t mind making an exception every now and again when someone needed a reminding of just who you belonged to

+ Now this is what he calls entertainment

+ There’s no way in hell that this idiot blubbering away in front of you actually thought he had a chance with you… right?

+ There was only one person in the world worthy of you and that was him

+ He couldn’t help but start to chuckle after watching this guy make attempt after attempt in trying to win you over, which really just came across as shitty bragging

+ Feeling more generous than usual, he decided to put the poor soul out of his misery and made his way over, wrapping an arm around you and placing a kiss on your forehead before sending a smirk to the guy in front of you

+ “Oh... my bad.” Tsukki grinned, rubbing the back of his head in an attempt to fake some sort of non-existent embarrassment “I didn’t see you there shorty. Hope I wasn’t interrupting something important.”

+ “Oh, he was just telling me about how he and his team were just a few matches away from making it to the final selection,” you explained on his behalf

+ “Is this your first time?” Tsukki questioned the kid, who nodded in response “Well, I guess we all have to start somewhere.”

+ That’s how the entirety of the conversation continued. Your boyfriend sending passive-aggressive blow after passive-aggressive blow to the poor kid’s ego before the guy had enough, and made a random excuse to leave

+ Leaving Tsukki standing victorious while you stood at his side, completely confused on what just happened

+ He disappeared for a second, just a second, to go grab a water bottle after a practice match

+ He left you in the hallway while he ran off, expecting to come back and have you greet him with that smile he adored so much

+ But instead your precious smile that was supposed to be reserved for him, and him alone, was being wasted on some nobody on the opposing team

+ Although he’s normally very bubbly by nature, Hinata is also known to get very serious and straightforward when it comes to things he’s passionate about

+ Therefore he would have no problem walking right up and putting himself between you and the idiot trying to take you away from him

+ “Was it not enough that I kicked your butt on the court? You really wanna come back for a round two off the court as well,” he grinned

+ Although his smile said friendly, his eyes were sending the complete opposite message. Telling the guy standing in front of him that he had about 10 seconds to get out of his face

+ He picked up on the subtle delivery loud and clear, responding with an apology and seeing himself out of the building

+ “I really can’t leave you alone can I?” Hinata mumbled, wrapping his arms around you and placing his face into your chest “Sometimes I really do just wanna lock you away”

+ You grinned, finding it funny how he joked about keeping you prisoner like you were some sort of royal, needing to be locked away in a tower for your own protection

+ But would you still be laughing it off if you realized just how serious he was?

#CybersVoid #yandere haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #hinata x reader #hinata shoyo #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima x reader #kenma x reader #kenma kozume #yandere #kei tsukishima #shoyo hinata #yandere hinata #yandere tsukishima #yandere kenma #haikyuu headcanons #yandere haikyu headcanons #tsukishima x y/n #kenma x gender neutral reader #hinata x gender neutral reader #kenma x you #tsukki imagines #yandere tsukki