#her mom left because she wanted to focus on her job and didn't want to raise a child

[jpmarvel90]

Don't Belong pt 1

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Word Count: 8392

Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader

Summary: Y/n is the adopted daughter of Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff. However, when science enables her mother's to have twin boys who are biogloically both of their's, her relationship slowly changes. At 17 she's ready to move out and move on, is it too late for her moms to fix things?

Y/n's POV:

When I was 6, my life was saved by none other than the Black Widow. She came in like the hero she is and saved me from the hell that was Hydra. Whilst helping me to acclimatise to normal life, we grew close, and she was a mother figure I never had. I was so shocked when she told me that she wanted to adopt me.

It was everything that I could ever ask for. She was an amazing mom. Caring, loving and always there for me. She had this soft side that not many people got to see. To the world, and a lot of the team, she had this tough, steely exterior. But I never saw that. Not from the moment she found me. I always felt safe and loved around her.

A couple of years later, Wanda joined the team and soon enough, Mama fell in love. I never saw mama so happy. They had the perfect relationship and Wanda took me on without a second thought. When I was 9, she adopted me, and I had two loving parents.

We had quite a domestic life. Tony built us a separate suite at the compound so we could still be close by for when they were needed for missions. I loved having parents that were heroes. I was so proud of them. I ended up spending quite a bit of time with Pepper when they were on missions together, but when they came home, they always had a couple of days off to spend time with me to make up for being away. It was great.

Watching them make a difference in the world, was the reason I joined the SHIELD Young Initiative Programme. I wanted to be just like my moms. Steve became a huge support to me, and alongside him and mama, I was acing all my practicals and exams.

But before that, when I was 11, our family grew. With the help of Bruce and Tony, Mom got pregnant with twins, both biologically hers and mamas. Billy and Tommy made our family complete.

As soon as Mom got pregnant, Mama told Fury that she wouldn't be going on missions once mom got into her third trimester and that after the birth they both would be taking maternity leave. She also told him that they would only ever be sent on a mission together if it was to save the world. Otherwise, under no circumstances were they to go together. They wanted to be around for the twins as much as possible and didn't want them left on their own if they had to go on missions together.

For the first couple of years, everything was perfect. But when they became toddlers, they were a bit of a handful. It meant that mom's focus went to them and slowly I became less of a priority for them.

I found it hard as I was coming into my teenage years, and I felt like I needed my moms more than ever. But I understood at the start. I was old enough that I could look after myself and the twins needed more. But it got harder when every time I tried to talk to one of them, I was brushed off, or told to speak to them later. But later never came.

Once I hit 13, I was their personal babysitter whenever they needed it. Mama told me how they were trying to make sure that her and mom still had quality time together, so had a date night or day each week. Seems they forgot about quality time with their daughter. It got to the point I was expected to drop everything to be there for my brothers. Picking them up at school, taking them to soccer. It didn't matter what I had planned, I was expected to do my job for the family. I did it without complaining, because I thought if I could prove that I was a good sister, maybe they would start to acknowledge me more.

To try and prove myself worthy, I worked even harder for SHIELD. However, now I lost mama as my training partner. She was too busy with work or the twins to help me train. It hurt when she told me that but, thankfully, Steve stepped up more than he had. He became like a father to me. I could confide in him when my moms didn't have time. Though there were still things that I couldn't talk to him about.

Now I'm 17, working towards graduating the youth programme and into SHEILD as an official agent. We have our final exams coming up and I'm doing everything I can to be ready for them. The top two initiates will get fast tracked through the system and be able to go on missions sooner.

I want nothing more than getting that chance. I need to start making a name for myself and to stop being under my mothers' shadow. Once I wanted to be just like them, to make them proud. But now I know that's not possible. They have their perfect biological family. I was just the stray they took pity on.

"You know, you could take it easy today. You're more than capable of passing these exams even on a bad day. You'll be finishing top of the class and joining us for missions in no time." Steve tells me as he holds the punch bag for me. "I just want to be on top of my game." I tell him, hitting the bag as precisely as I could.

"Have you told your moms about the date for your final practical. I'm sure they'll want to be around when you get home." He asks, making me falter with my hits. "I did, but I don't think they were listening. Although they seemed to acknowledge it, Billy was showing them his Lego at the time." I share with him.

Steve knows what's been happening with my moms and the only reason he hasn't done anything is because I made him promise not to. All I need to do is graduate and then I can get moved into the SHIELD facility and start a new life without being a burden on my family.

"You know, you should talk to them. I know you've tried, but really sit them down and tell them how you're feeling." He tries once again. "It's been years now. If they really cared for me, they would notice that they barely see me anymore. I don't even remember the last time they said I love you." I respond, my hits getting harder.

"Ok, I'm calling this. You'll hurt yourself and then you won't even be able to complete your exams." Steve tells me, stepping between me and the bag. I sigh but know he's right. "Just try for me ok. Maybe after your exams. They'll be so proud of you." He pleads. "Ok, fine." I agree. "Now go shower kiddo. You stink!" He teases me before dodging a punch I try to land on his arm.

I smile as I head up to my room. As I walk into our apartment, I see the happy family sat together watching TV. "Hi moms." I call out when I enter. They don't even turn around, so I call out again, only to get the same response. I decide to go and join them but as soon as I sit down, I'm scolded by mom. "Y/n do you have to come in here like that. Go and shower will you." She tells me off. I look to mama who doesn't even glance in my direction. "Sorry, I was training for my final exam." I explain but once again, nothing. I let out a small humourless chuckle to myself as I leave the living room. Every day, I feel more and more like I don't belong here anymore.

__________

I did it! I actually passed! Not only did I pass, I topped the class. I think I even saw Fury smile. I'm so happy, nothing can burst my bubble right now. As a class, we all decide that we're going to celebrate tonight. We've been a tight group and it'll be nice to actually spend time together without having to study or practice.

I practically run back to the compound, smiling ear to ear. "Someone's happy." Steve calls out to me as I rush through the kitchen. "Someone might be your partner one day!" I call out as I keep on towards my destination of finding my parents. "Can't wait kiddo. Well done! Knew you could do it!" Steve shouts after me.

"Y/n, don't run!" Mama scolds me as I find them in the living room. "Sorry, but I have to tell you something that I know you'll want to hear." I apologise with a smile on my face. "Not now Y/n. We're about to head out. The boys just need dinner and don't let them stay up late." She tells me. That's when I notice that she's dressed up in her best jacket.

"I can't look after the twins tonight. Our class are going to celebrate." I explain, hoping she might ask why we're celebrating. But that would be wishful thinking. "Time with your friends can wait Y/n." She tells me without even looking up at me, too focused on her phone. "Can't one of the others watch them. Just for tonight. I've never asked before. But just this once. Please." I practically beg, but to no use. "Stop being selfish and just watch the boys." She snaps, making a lump form in my throat.

"Fine." I mumble, leaving the room and head out of our apartment. "Where are you going?" She calls after me. "To see Steve. Don't worry, I'll be back to watch your precious boys." I talk back whilst leaving, hearing her call after me.

I make my way to find Steve. I know he'll be excited with my results. I wipe at my eyes for the few traitorous tears that fell. "So, I hear someone will be an Avenger in no time." Tony says as I walk into the kitchen. "I think I'll stick with SHIELD." I respond. I have no desire to be a full time Avenger. I'll be around to see my moms live their perfect life without me.

"I'm proud of you kiddo." Steve smiles at me, pulling me into a hug. "Thanks, old man. I couldn't have done it without you." I tell him truthfully, squeezing him tighter. "Your mom's must be proud. Especially Nat. Now's the time for celebrating." Pepper says. "Oh, I'm babysitting the boys tonight." I respond, trying to hide my disappointment. I notice that all others share a look.

They have all noticed how my relationship has changed with my moms, but thankfully, never brought it up. "We could watch them. Let you go out with your class. I know how much you've been looking forward to it." Pepper offers kindly. "Thanks, but mama said it had to be me." I reply. "Sorry kiddo." Steve says, wrapping his arms around me. "It's ok. I better go back before I get into trouble. I just wanted to tell you all about the results." I tell them.

"Of course Y/n. We're so proud of you. I can't wait to work with you." Tony pats me on the shoulder, whilst the others all give me a hug. "We'll do something together tomorrow." Steve promises and I nod. "I'd like that." I reply, taking a deep breath before heading back home.

When I get back to the apartment, both mom and mama are waiting to go. "Good, you're back. We'll be home late." Mom tells me, turning to leave. "And we'll talk about your attitude in the morning." Mama adds on with a stern look before turning to leave. "I love you." I call out after them. No response. My head drops. I really have just become the live in nanny.

_________

The next day, I didn't have to face my moms in the morning. They had taken the boys to the park and out for breakfast. I didn't even get an invite. But thankfully, Steve is taking me for dinner tonight to celebrate the passing of my exams and my imminent graduation.

He's taken me to my favourite Italian restaurant. It's nice to have this time. Steve really has been the only parent I've had recently. I'm so grateful for him. "So your moms don't know?" Steve asks as I tell him that I've been told I can move into SHIELD accommodation in a few days. "I've tried, but as usual, I barely have a conversation with them anymore. They probably wouldn't even notice that I've gone." I admit the painful truth. "Do you think they even still love me?" I ask the question that has been haunting me for a long time now.

Steve looks at me with a sympathetic look. He reaches out and takes my hand. "Oh Y/n. I'm sure they do. They just got lost in the boys and have forgot, that even though you're a teenager, you still need them." He tries to defend them. "If you say so." I mumble, not believing him.

"Well, I have something that might cheer you up." Steve says, changing the subject. "Oh yeah, and what might that be Captain?" I ask with a smirk, making him roll his eyes. "I spoke with Fury, and he already has a mission for you. It's nothing too big, a simple in and out to get some data." Steve explains, making a smile grow on my face. "Really? Me on a mission already?" I question and he nods. "Fury would have had you on them earlier. You've been the best recruit the programme has seen. But he had to follow protocol. There is one downside though." He shares. "Oh God, don't tell me it's with my mother?" I ask making him laugh. "No, just this old man." He responds. "Really? I'm going with you?" I ask excitedly. "Yeah, you don't need me. But I wanted to see you in action on your first mission. I really am proud of you kiddo. I'm glad that I've had a front row seat to seeing you become the woman you have." He expresses honestly, taking me off guard.

The rest of dinner is lovely, and I have a really nice time. It's nice to actually have someone care about your achievements. However, that happiness soon disappears when I enter the apartment to two angry moms. "Where do you think you've been? You've not been answering your phone." Mama yells at me. I reach into my pocket and see that my phone is dead.

"Sorry, my cell died." I tell her, but that doesn't help. "So, are you going to share where you were without telling us? It's 10pm Y/n!" Mom now joins in. "I was having dinner with Steve." I share. "Until this late. Why would you be going out for dinner on a school night? Why didn't he ask us first?" Mama questions me.

"We went out to celebrate when I missed going with my class. And it's not a school night. The programme has finished now." I tell them, trying to keep my cool. "Is this about that party you couldn't go to last night?" Mom asks. "No, actually, it was having someone to celebrate with that I finished top of my class and am now officially a SHIELD agent!" I snap back, taking them both by surprise.

"You've had your final exams already?" Mom asks, stepping closer but I pull away. "Yeah, I have told you on a number of occasions. But apparently you don't listen to me anymore." I admit, feeling tears building. "You finished top?" Mama says proudly, but I just scoff. Her pride is too late. "Like you even care." I growl. "Don't talk to your mother like that." Mom tells me off.

"Like what? You haven't given me the time of day in years. Why do you suddenly care that I was out late. Was I not around to be your personal babysitter? Or were you just annoyed I wasn't there for the one time you noticed I wasn't around." I call them both out taking them by surprise.

"Y/n it was one night." Mom tries to deny more calmly. "No, it wasn't. It's always the twins this, the twins that. I have to make allowances for them in my life and stop what I'm doing to be there to babysit them. When was the last time that you spent any time with me? When did you last tell me you love me or even acknowledge me?" I shout, tears falling down my cheeks, as my parents stand staring at me in shock.

"I have worked my ass off with SHIELD so I can get in and earn my spot with them. Where I can have my own place and start a life for myself. Because I clearly haven't been a part of this family for a long time." I share how I've been feeling. I notice that both their eyes tear up. "Oh Y/n, sweetheart, that's not the case. Of course you belong." Mama tries to argue, moving closer with a shaky hand out in front of her. I don't reach out. In fact, I move away. "Well neither of your actions have shown it in the last few years." I point out, making mom cry harder. "Look it's fine. I get it. I'm not your biological child. Billy and Tommy are. I'll always be grateful for you saving me from Hydra, but you've got your family now. Don't worry, I'll be gone in a couple of days." I say sadly before heading to my room, my moms frozen in shock in their spot.

I slam the door shut behind me, locking it and falling onto my bed. I bury my head into the pillow and sob. All the emotions I've been bottling up come out. My whole body wracks with each sob as I realise, it's official. I really have lost my family now.

Nat's POV:

I feel the tears slowly falling down my cheeks as I realise that my daughter stood before me as a broken girl who thinks her moms don't love her anymore. By the time I come to my senses, Y/n is already gone, and I'm left facing my wife who is sobbing. "Have we really been putting the boys first so much she thinks that we don't want her anymore?" I say at a whisper, my voice getting caught in my throat.

"It's my fault. Things changed when I came into the picture, and we started trying for our own babies. We didn't even consider how that must have made her feel. We didn't even reassure her that we would still love her just as much, regardless of if the boys were ours biologically or not." Wanda responds.

I quickly move forward and wrap my arms around her. "It's not your fault my love. We both wanted that. Our lives are significantly better with you in them Wanda. But you're right. We should have tried harder to make sure we involved Y/n and showed her will still love her." I comfort her.

I can't believe that I've let Y/n get to this point. The day I found her in that cell, she changed my life for the better. She not only made me a mother, but she made me more human. She made me see there was more than being an Avenger. She is the reason that I who I am today. Yet I've neglected her. I got so focused on the twins that I didn't even notice how little I have seen Y/n.

"We should go and talk to her." I suggest whilst Wanda still clings to me. "She was angry. We should give her some space. Let's take her for breakfast in the morning. I'll ask Pepper to watch the boys and we can start to make this right." She counters. "But..." I start, not wanting to leave this longer than we have to. "This is our daughter we're talking about. She has your temper." Wanda tearily chuckles. "Hey!" I poorly defend. She's right though. She might not be biologically mine, but she is my mini me.

That night I don't sleep. All I can think of is every time that I blew Y/n off and decided to spend time with the twins instead. When did we stop doing things as a family? I try and think of the last time I trained with her or helped her prepare for her exams. God, how did I not even know she was taking them this week?! "Your thoughts are loud Detka." Wanda mumbles sleepily as she turns over to look at me. When she sees the distress on my face, she gives me a sympathetic smile. "She has worked so hard, and we didn't even know she was completing her final exams. She told us yet neither of us remembered or even heard her apparently. We are awful moms!" I sigh.

Wanda moves and pulls me into her embrace. "I know. I feel awful too. I'm so proud of her though. She finished top. She's just like you." She shares. "She's moving out." I realise whilst Wanda just looks at me confused. "What do you mean?" She questions. "She said she would be gone in a few days. She must have been assigned a room at SHIELD. Our little girl was ready to leave the nest and we didn't even know." I respond, another wave of sadness washing over me.

"We'll talk to her and make her see that she is still very much wanted here. If she still wants to move out that's fine, but she has to know that we love her and always have. We can't change the past but we sure as hell can make sure we change the future and how see feels." She says determined.

Neither of us really sleep. I think we regret not talking to her last night. But our tiredness soon takes over and we get some much need kip. It definitely won't do any of us favours when we talk to Y/n in the morning. She won't make it easy on us and I don't want to snap because I'm too tired.

When we eventually get up, we check on the boys and I go to ask Pepper if she would mind watching the boys. "Is Y/n not available?" Pepper asks with a humourless chuckle. "What? No, we're going to take her to breakfast." I respond, surprised at the bite to her tone. She hums in surprise. "I'll take the boys. Make sure you treat that girl. She definitely deserves it." She tells me firmly. I nod and thank her before going to get the boys.

"Everything ok?" Wanda asks me when I take Billy from her. "Whilst we've been failing to notice Y/n, I think everyone else has noticed our behaviour. It's very frosty down there." I tell her and she nods sadly. I guess we can't expect anything less.

It makes me wonder what could have happened if we didn't have everyone else around. They have clearly been supportive to her and been there when Wanda and I should have. What if she didn't have that support, would she have even still been with us?

Shaking off the thought, Wanda and I take the boys to the compound living room, where we receive a number of glares from the team that were there. Thankfully, nothing is said, but my guilt keeps on growing.

With the boys sorted, I take Wanda's hand and we head to Y/n's room. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. We wait anxiously but get no response. I try again, calling out to her this time. "Y/n, honey. Can we come in?" I ask, but once again, we're met by silence.

I look to Wanda who's got a concerned look on her face. "Sweetheart, we're going to come in now." Wanda speaks up and pushes down on the door handle. I'm surprised when it opens but that is soon replaced by shock when I see her room practically empty. There are a couple of boxes with her stuff in, but most of her clothes have gone.

I let go of Wanda's hand and quickly move into the ensuite to see if she's in there, but I'm met by more empty cabinets. Panic builds within me to know that she's gone. "Where is she?" Wanda asks as stands by the chest of draws, picking up photos that had been turned upside. She lets out a muffled sob when she sees they're our family photos. What have we done to our daughter.

"She's probably asked Fury if she could move sooner. Considering how much he loves her, I'm sure he would have done anything to get her in as soon as possible." I respond, letting out a sigh. "But she's only 17. She's still a kid." Wanda argues. "I know babe. But when she signed up, it was part of the contract that I signed as her parent. Besides, she turns 18 next week and we'd have no say anyway." I admit.

"Shit, is it already her birthday? We've done nothing to prepare for that. In fact, I'm sure we both forgot." Wanda exhales, running her hands through her hair, whilst I made sure all the photos were back upright. Though, I notice our last family photo was back when Y/n was just 15. We've got hundreds of photos with the twins, but it's been over two years since we've had a complete family photo.

Wanting to know that Y/n is ok, I grab my phone out and hit Fury's number. It rings out and I let out a sigh before trying Maria. "Romanoff." She greets me. "Hill, I was wondering if you could tell me if Y/n has moved into her room yet and if so where she's been placed. Wanda and I want to surprise her." I try my luck.

"I'm sorry, Y/n has asked that we don't disclose her room location at the moment. She has been allowed early move in, so will be in a position to share once the other agents are moving." Hill responds. "Please, Maria, I'm asking you as a friend. We really need to see Y/n." I plead, hoping she'll have sympathy on me. "And I'm telling you as a friend that how you treated your own daughter is unacceptable. Do you know why she was the best cadet to come through?" She calls me out. "No." I respond in a whisper. "Initially it was because she was trying to be just like her hero mothers. But she got even better when she was fighting to make her own name for herself to start her life over. I watched her personality change to become guarded and her walls built high. That's what you did to her Nat." She scolds me through the phone.

"I know Maria. We have fucked up more than we thought possible and we're trying to make this right. We can't do that if we can't even speak with her." I counter. "This isn't something you can just fix with a talk and a hug. This is years of you slowly neglecting her. Pushing yourself onto her is not going to help with that." Maria warns me. I know she's right. We'll end up pushing Y/n away if we're not careful. But I also know that I can't wait to fix this. I want my baby girl to know how much I love her. Despite my inability to show her these last few years.

Wanda and I spend the day trying to get any information on where Y/n might be. We get a lot of cold shoulders, and our questions often go answered. I even spend time hanging around the Shield accommodation to see if I can catch a glimpse of her. My lucks not in and I return home deflated.

When I walk through the door, a smile forms on my face as I see Wanda giving the boys dinner. "Any luck?" She asks. I just shake my head. "We'll find her." She says confidently. "When was the last time we had dinner with Y/n?" I ask, looking to Wanda who's looking at me sympathetically. "Detka, you are punishing yourself by think that." She scolds me lightly. "It's true though. She asked when we last said I love you to her. I've been trying to think, and I don't remember. How can a mother not remember when they last said I love you to their child. Have we really subconsciously disregarded her because she isn't biologically ours?" I share my thoughts, tears falling freely down my face.

Wanda quickly moves from the table, leaving the boys to carry on talking about the latest Nintendo game they're playing. She wraps her arms around me and pulls me in close. "We let ourselves get lost in the boys. They were a handful and we were blessed with a daughter who was selfless and caring. Subconsciously, we took advantage of that. But that changes now ok." She responds as I nod in the crock of her neck. We really need to fix this.

__________

It's been a few days and we've still had no luck in seeing Y/n. Wanda and I decided to go to Shield to talk to Fury today, whilst the boys were in school. I head straight to his office, knocking twice before heading in, not caring if he's busy. "Romanoff, Maximoff. What can I do for you?" He asks, moving his gaze from the laptop in front of him.

"It's been long enough now Fury. The other agents have started moving in and Y/n is still only 17, so tell us where she is staying." I demand, my tone harsh. "I can give you her room allocation, but she's not there." Fury responds, just angering me more. "Then where the hell is she?!" I shout, only calming down when I feel Wanda squeeze my hand. "She's on a mission. She'll back tomorrow." He responds nonchalantly.

"A mission? She's 17 Fury! How is she already going on a mission?!" Wanda responds before I even manage to direct my own anger into words. "She is almost 18 and finished top of her class. You knew that was a possibility when you signed her up Romanoff. She has the potential to be the best agent we've seen. She is ready." Fury retorts, but I'm still not happy. "She's just a kid, she could get hurt." I growl, worry taking over me.

"Natasha, she is far from the kid you think she is. If you still trained with her, you'd see that she can almost beat Steve in hand to hand combat and her weapons skill matches your own, if not better in some instances." He points out and I realise how little I actually know my daughter right now. "Look, I'll keep you posted when she's back." Fury concedes after a moment silence.

"Thank you. Is she on her own?" I ask but he shakes his head. "Steve went to be on comms." He replies and that puts my mind at ease a little. He loves her like his own, he'll do everything that he can to protect her. "Ok. Thank you." I say, taking Wanda's hand a heading home.

"We've missed so much Nat. Y/n used to tell us everything about her training and classes. We've created an environment where she doesn't feel like she can share with us anymore. She was probably so excited to get a chance on her first mission. But instead of us being with her and making sure she's prepared, we didn't even know she had gone." Wanda agonises.

"I'm worried that we may not be able to fix this. If her walls have gone up, they'll be near impossible to knock them down." I sigh. "You had walls once. What helped you to let them down?" Wanda asks. "Y/n." I respond, my gaze dropping to my hands. "Then we find away to be the same for her." Wanda tries to comfort me. But how can the people that caused her this pain, be the ones to pull her through.

The next morning is quiet whilst we get the boys ready for school. They asked this morning where Y/n was and that they missed her. It broke my heart. Because of our actions, not only is Y/n feeling alone, isolated, and not part of this family, but her brother might lose the chance of having their sister in their lives.

When we get home, we end up just sat waiting for any news that Y/n is on her way home so we can greet her. I want to be able to hear all about how her first mission went and actually be apart of something so special to her. I may not have shown it, but I've always been proud of her. She is talented and I loved training with her. I had always planned to join her again once the twins were old enough. But I didn't and it seems that I have missed out on so much.

Whilst I'm preparing lunch, I hear Friday's alarm go off and my ears tune in. "Emergency medical team to the landing bay. Emergency medical team to the landing bay." I don't even think before I'm dropping the knife onto the countertop. I go to call for Wanda, but she rushes in from the bedroom. "Something's wrong with Jess. I can feel it." She says worriedly. "Let's go." I say, taking her hand and rushing through the compound to get to the landing bay.

Cho is waiting, along with a nursing staff. "Is it Y/n?" I ask as we come to a halt next to her. It feels like an age before she responds. A small nod of the head breaks my heart. "H-how bad?" Wanda asks, a tremble to her voice. "Steve confirmed a gunshot wound. She's lost a lot of blood." She responds. I run my hand through my hair, my stomach in knots.

It feels like the world around me has become muffled. I don't hear the orders that Cho is giving her team. Had I been able to, maybe I would have known more about her condition. My chest feels tight at the thought of her being hurt and the chance that she might not make it.

It's not until a pair of hands cup my face, that I zone back into the environment around me. "Breathe for me baby." Wanda's shaking voice tries to calm me. But the complete fear in her own eyes doesn't do much to help. We're facing losing our daughter and she doubts the depths of our love for her.

I do my best to bring myself out of this panic attack. I can't be a broken version of myself. My wife and family need me more than ever. If I can't pull through now, I'm not worthy to be a mother. "That's it detka. Deep breathes." Wanda guides me. I take one more deep breath and stand straighter. This isn't about me.

I can see a frown on Wanda's face form as she sees me put up my own walls. I know that she hates when I do this, but it's the only way I know how to get through what's about to happen without completely breaking down.

It's not long until the QuinJet comes into sight and slowly starts to descend on to the landing pad. I feel like I'm holding my breath as we wait for the ramp to lower, and we can see how bad this is. My heart is thumping against my chest as it begins to lower, and I see Steve's face first.

Cho and her team move forward, a bed waiting, whilst Wanda and I hold back. I want to be by her side straight away, but I also know that we'll just be a hinderance to her care if we insist on being with her.

When we get a full view of Steve, I hear Wanda let out a sob beside me. He's holding our unconscious daughter in his arms. His own suit is covered in blood and my eyes instantly land on the blooded dressing on her stomach. "I tried to staunch the bleeding as best I could. But it just kept coming." Steve explains. I've never seen him so shaken up before.

He places Y/n on the hospital bed and moves out the way, before staring at his bloodied hands. Cho doesn't wait before rushing Y/n off to the medical bay, the three of us closely following behind.

"Is she going to be ok?" I ask as they start to get to work. But before she has a chance to respond, the machines start to go crazy and they move even faster to help my daughter.  "I can't answer that right now Agent Romanoff. I need to focus on Y/n, but I promise I'll keep you updated." Cho says, her polite way of telling us to leave. I'm reluctant, knowing that in this moment, Y/n is on the verge of life or death. But with a subtle tug of my hand from Wanda, I follow to watch through the window outside.

My gaze doesn't leave my daughter as I watch over as the team work to save her life. I don't notice that another person has joined us until I hear a bang from behind me. My head shoots around where I see Steve pinning Fury to the wall. "You told us it was empty! That all she needed was to get to the drive and out again." Steve growls at Fury who's holding his hand up in surrender. "I know." He responds, but Steve isn't happy when he slams him against the wall again.

"Then why the hell is she led in that hospital fighting for her life. There was a whole guard waiting for her!" Steve yells. This information makes the anger inside me grow. "You sent her into an ambush?!" I join in now, furious that he has put my daughter in danger.

"I didn't know! I'm as surprised as you are." Fury tries to explain, but Steve isn't letting up. "Talk!" Steve spits. "I had an agent scout the base for two weeks! Every report was how there was no activity. I would never have sent her had I know there was any more risk. It was supposed to be an easy mission for her first." Fury explains.

I can see the honesty in his eyes, and I know Steve does too. Fury has been like family to Y/n and I do trust he would never willingly put her in unnecessary danger. "So, either Hydra suddenly decided to man the base or..." Steve starts. "The agent tipped them off." I finish off as Fury nods. "I've detained the agent, and he broke within minutes. It was a perfect opportunity for them to fight you without back up." Fury shares as Steve lets him go. "Except I wasn't meant to go in. So, they were faced with Y/n." Steve concludes.

"I'm sorry Nat. I really am. I never would put Y/n in danger like that. I wanted her to have a successful first mission. One that would build her confidence." Fury apologises with a sincerity that he rarely shows. "I want to see him." I state firmly, to which Fury sighs. "Me too. It's because of him that our daughter is fighting for her life." Wanda steps beside me, her eyes glowing red. "Not now, not while you're both angry and worried." Fury refuses. "He could be the reason my daughter dies!" I shout at him, but he doesn't budge. "And he'll also be the reason I have to arrest you for killing him. If it's not you it'll be Wanda. I'm not letting either of you do that." Fury once again declines.

In a huff, I drop to the seat in the waiting room, my head falling into my hands. He's right. I will kill him if I get my hands on him. "Be here for Y/n. She needs you now more than ever. Leave the rest to me. I can promise that he will not get away with it." Fury orders, the formality coming back into his tone. We all reluctantly agree, and he leaves content that, for now, a homicide will not be occurring.

"What happened?" I ask Steve when the silence becomes almost unbearable. He takes the seat next to me and his gaze falls to his blooded hands. "It was meant to be a simple mission to test her hacking. I was in the QuinJet for support, and she was to go in, get to the mainframe computer and download as much data as possible." He starts and I nod along. "It was going fine, and she was doing everything by the book, clearing each room one by one. Part of me was sure she would be just like you and be impatient to get what she needed." He shares, with a small smile, making me chuckle. "Thankfully, she's a far better agent than I am." I respond, feeling Wanda's hand interlink with mine.

"It was as she got to the second floor, she said something felt off. It was warmer and it didn't smell as damp and musty. She said there were signs that this floor had been used recently. Knowing the risk that could entail, I told her to pull back and we'd get a team to help us clear the base. It wasn't something we should be doing on our own." He continues to explain, my anger towards the double agent increasing by the minute. But I also feel pride at how she was able to establish that something was wrong.

"She did as I ordered, but she was ambushed on her way out. I was already on my way in to meet her when I heard gunshots start. By the time I reached her, all the agents were down around her, but an alarm was blaring, and I knew others would be on their way. I grabbed at Y/n's arm, but she didn't move. As I moved in front of her, it was then I saw where her gaze was fixed. She's been hit. I got her out of there as quickly as I could and set the QuinJet to fly on autopilot. I tried everything that I could to stop the bleeding, but there was just so much. I-I...." Steve starts to crumble as he aggressively rubs at the blood on his hands.

I reach out and place my hands over his, stopping his actions. "I know you would have done everything you could Steve. We don't blame you. I'm so grateful that you were there to help our daughter." I try to reassure him. "I'm going to clean up. I can't sit here with...this on my hands any longer." Steve says, standing up holding his hands out in front of him.

Silence falls again when it's just Wanda and me. I want to look through the window again, but I don't think I can see them working on her. If she dies, I can't watch that. She looked so small as Steve laid her on the bed. "I had always hoped I'd be with her on her first mission." I speak up, guilt building once again. "Hmm" Wanda responds, turning to look at me. "When we used to train together, I always knew she would be one of the best the agency we would see. I couldn't wait to work along side her. My pride was overwhelming." I share as Wanda smiles softly at me.

"What happened? Why did I let myself lose sight of her. I have no excuse for treating her how I did. When I adopted her, I promised that she would always be loved and safe. Look at her now. I wouldn't blame her if she never forgives me." I lament, tears stinging my eyes. "It wasn't just you babe. We both have done wrong by Y/n and it's not forgivable. But we can work to earn her trust back and be the mothers that she deserves." She tries to comfort me.

"What if she doesn't make it and we don't have a chance to make things right? Or she does make it through, but she wants nothing to do with us?" I question in a panic. "I think she always hoped you'd eventually pull your heads out your asses." Steves voice takes us both by surprise as he rejoins us in a pair of sweats and a hoody. "What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"Fury loves that kid. If she had asked to move out sooner, he would have allowed her too. I think part of her didn't want to go just in case you started being the loving and caring mothers you once were. Ultimately, she was still a kid and desperate to still have you in her life." He clarifies. "But she had already gone. We blew our last shot." Wanda speaks up. "Maybe you're right. But if anyone is worth fighting for. It's her." Steve points out and I couldn't agree more. I know that I'll do anything in my power to make things right and hopefully prove to my daughter that I love her more than I can express.

After hours of waiting, too scared to even glance through the window, Cho comes out of the medical room with a solemn look, and it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. I feel my breathing pick up once again, the thought of not being able to fix everything with Y/n becomes suffocating. It's not until Wanda grasps my hand that I find myself zoning back in.

"H-how is s-she?" I find myself asking in a quiet, unsure voice. Cho sighs and takes the seat opposite us, her hands interlocked. "Y/n suffered a gunshot wound to her abdomen. The bullet went straight through her liver. We were required to remove part of her liver, to ensure we saved her life. This was harder with the amount of blood that she lost. However, we were able to stabilise her before repairing the damage done to her liver." She explains.

"So, she's going to be, ok?" Wanda asks to clarify. "It's going to be touch and go. She's extremely weak right now and the next couple of days are going to be critical to her recovery. If she can pull through these next few days, I believe she'll make a full recovery. Though it'll take a lot of rehab to adjust to the changes to her body." Cho confirms.

I let out a small sob, knowing that she can pull through this. I have to believe that she will make it through these next few days, and we can be there to support her through her recovery. "Will she be able to return to full field duties?" Steve asks, clearly agitating Wanda. "Really Steve. That's what you're concerned about right now?" She snaps.

He turns to look at us and I know exactly why he's asking. "The SHIELD programme is everything to Y/n. To lose it after only just achieving it, that will crush her." Steve defends. "I think she would rather be alive right now." Wanda snaps back. "You just don't want to face that the honest truth is that without this programme, Y/n will feel like she has nothing, and I hate to say it, but she won't be too happy about being alive." Steve shares, an angry, yet sad look on his face.

Wanda goes to argue back, a look of hurt washing over her face. But I hold my hand up to stop her. "He's right my love." I interrupt her, making her snap her head to me. "SHIELD was the only family she thought that she had after she believed that she didn't belong in this family anymore. It will break her if she can't carry on what she worked so hard to achieve." I admit sadly.

I lock eyes with Wanda, and I see her heartbreak even further, if that's possible. "It'll take time and a lot of hard work, but I believe that Y/n would be able to return to full duties within SHIELD." Cho chips in, reminding us all that she was still in the room. "But first, she needs to get through the next few days." She reiterates, making all of us nod.

"Can we see her?" I ask, desperate to be with her and to hold her hand. "Of course. I'll be in my office, but the nursing staff will monitor her hourly." She smiles at us and leaves us to it. I take Wanda's hand and lead her towards the door and slowly push the door open. I let out a gasp when I see my little girl led in bed. She has a tube down her throat and wires attached to so many machines.

I've seen many people in this situation. But when it's your own daughter, there aren't words to describe the pain you feel. How helpless you are to make them better. All you can do is sit and watch as you wait for fate to take its course. Praying that you get your daughter back.

I instantly move to take a seat next to her bed, taking her hand in mine and holding it tightly. I notice the bruising to her knuckles, showing she fought. It brings a small smile of pride to my face.

Wanda goes to the opposite side of the bed and gently places her hand on Y/n's head. "I'm so sorry moya Lyubov." She whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead. "We promise we're going to make things right. We are so sorry that you ever felt like you didn't belong in this family. You'll never doubt this again!" I make promise to her now, one that I will repeat when she wakes up. Because she will wake up.

Part 2

#marvel fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #avengers fanfiction #marvel #avengers #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff #wandanat #wandanat x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not reminding a coworker to punish one of our students due to my concerns over her home life?

I (20F) am a teacher at a local daycare. I teach the school-aged group, which is kids aged 5 to 10 years old. I have a student, I will be calling her Joann (6F) who gets herself into trouble occasionally. It's never anything malicious, but she's young, and usually needs lots of reminders on rules, keeping her feet on the floor, keeping her voice down, things like that. I used to discipline her exactly like my other students- and sometimes she'd get her card flipped from green to orange or yellow. It meant that her behavioral problems were never severe, but she would get in trouble sometimes. I talked to her mother about it, and one time, she ended up telling a very irresponsible lie that could have jeapordized my job. She told a teacher that I let the kids talk, run around, play with toys etc while they're supposed to be silently watching movies. This would be me openly defying my co-teacher (50F) and our schedule, and encouraging bad behavior. They'd told the lie in order to try and get away with talking and playing toys during movie time. My co teacher asked about it and obviously I told her it wasn't true. I had a serious conversation about this with Joann's mom. Usually she doesn't do things like this and it could've cost me big time, even if I didn't get fired it could be a complaint, cost me my co teacher's trust and friendship, or gotten me moved to a different age group. Her mom hit the roof. Screamed at her until Joann was in tears and threatened to beat her in front of all her "little friends" (which is illegal to do on daycare grounds btw, she was implying this would happen at the daycare) and it honestly even scared me. She forced the child to apologize to me and left with her. I felt so bad because the girl was only 6, and clearly very scared.

I only got more concerned for her from here, she told me multiple times that her mommy gives her "pop-pop" (some sort of spanking or hitting, as she uses this term and "whooping" interchangeably and tells me that it hurts and makes her scared) when she gets her card flipped even once. A single card flip is a minor behavior issue, maybe something to have a chat about at home but never a serious concern. I brought this up with the Director (basically my boss, and the owner of the daycare) and she explained to me that unfortunately, Joann's mother hitting her at home is not something we can call CPS about, as it's only illegal in this state if she leaves visible marks, which I've never seen on the child. She suggested I adjust my disciplinary style for Joann to focus more on time-outs and other punishments and less on card flips. The director also brought this up with my co teacher so she was in the loop.

Yesterday, Joann was misbehaving. It was something small, like leaning in her chair, but it had been happening so often and we'd had to remind her so many times that it got on my co teacher's nerves, and she told the kid that she was going to flip her card because she was just not listening, but mentioned she'd do it once she got up, because she was busy. I wasn't, but I made no moves to get up and silently hoped it'd slip her mind. I didn't want her mom to see that Joann got her card flipped and end up hurting her. In the end, she totally forgot and Joann went home with a green card.

I feel bad because I know Joann needs discipline and does need to have talks at home when she misbehaves, and taking that away can be bad for her development. But I also can't be sure her mom has those talks with her, and I know for a fact she's hitting her. So, AITA? TL;DR: Intentionally let my co-teacher go without disciplining a student at the end of the day, because I knew her mom would hit her when she got home.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[floshoe]

You Mean Everything To Me

warnings; fluff, angst, talk about death, medical stuff, violence, injuries, bad parents

summary: you save Yelena’s life and in return she becomes your everything.

pairings; Yelena Belova x Fem! Reader, Wanda Maximoff x Pietro Maximoff x Half-Sister! Reader, Avengers x Fem! Reader

a/n: i am IN LOVE with this picture 😍

It wasn’t until later in life that you found out you were only born because of your moms' infidelity. So, when you looked back on your childhood it made sense. You guess that you were just a reminder of her biggest mistake. (It also didn't help that you looked so much like your father) So instead of getting parents, you got to watch your parents love and cherish your half siblings.

And as a you got to the toddler stage, you started to resent your siblings, and that led to fights and tantrums, which, in turn, lead to punishments.

Wanda and Pietro never got punished, even when they started the fights: they stole your toys, pushed you, teamed up on you, and when they broke something, they blamed it on you. Which meant you spent most of your time sitting in the corner facing the wall.

They were the angels of the house who could do no wrong. Because you weren’t even supposed to be born. They made that fact very clear as you got older.

So, the night that your parents died wasn’t the worst day of your life, you never wished death upon them, but you couldn’t be as upset as your siblings.

But when it came to HYDRA, they wanted you to go with them. You’re still not sure why, but they did and sometimes you’re not completely sure you’re happy they did.

So on and so forth Ultron happens and while you were fighting robots Pietro got killed saving clint’s life. And for some reason Wanda blamed you for it.

“Why didn’t you stop him?!”

“I didn’t know he was going to do that! I wasn’t even near him, why didn’t you?!”

You two didn’t talk for a long time after that. Yes, you were saddened by his death; but you couldn’t be as sad as Wanda because you practically had no relationship with him.

But the Avengers still accepted you as a part of the team. Until once again Wanda poisoned your only friends against you just like when you were kids. You don’t know how she does it, but she always managed to make you look like the bad guy.

And once again you were isolated into a corner, all alone with no one to pull you out. The final straw happened on your last mission as an avenger.

Your job on this mission was basically to just keep the enemies busy while Steve tried to save the undercover agent he was sent to help escape. You were doing well, your powers making it easy to do it. Or so you thought.

You were so caught up on what was in front of you that you didn’t notice some of them coming up from behind you. They made you lose focus, and your powers caused the whole building to collapse.

You killed the undercover agent and all the information they had gathered. And almost killed Captain America.

That was when you swore off using your powers, you had almost killed an avenger. You had killed someone. And your powers got too out of control, so you didn’t trust them anymore.

That was the last straw, after that mission no one ever trusted you again and you were banned from missions. But that night you just packed up and left, you were no good to them otherwise; and it’s not like they’d miss you.

And that leads to you now, in a decent apartment in New York City, currently trying to decide what to do for dinner. Pizza or mac and cheese were your options tonight.

You eventually decided on pizza and made your way out of your apartment. Grabbing your coat on your way out as you decide on where you want your pizza from. You decide to head to your normal place and relax for a while. It’s been a while since you’ve had a relaxing night.

Not too long after you left the avengers you went into nursing school, helping people had always been a passion. Which was why you were so happy to be a part of the avengers. You’ve been a nurse for about a year now and you’ve loved it. You’d given up on friends a long time ago; who would want to be friends with you anyway?

Sure, it got lonely, but you just got to live your life without restrictions.

You were walking home when you heard someone breathing heavily in an alley way. Your nursing instincts pushed you to investigate, so you slowly walked into the alley, but not before grabbing your taser.

You don’t walk too far in before you see a blonde in tactical gear sitting against the wall struggling to breathe. It doesn’t take too long for you to put the pieces together.

She’s Natasha’s sister.

Before Natasha turned on you, she had told you about her sister. The one she had left behind in the Red Room. Which made you nervous about her intentions when it came to her seeing you. But then you remembered that the Red Room had been taken down but the two widows. (You saw it on the news.)

So, you can only assume she was with the avengers now and this had happened due to a mission. You see that she’s not conscious. you worry about her not making it, so you get her to your apartment.

You lay her down on the guest bed and run to your bathroom to grab your things to help her. You felt weird unzipping her suit but when you did you continued without remorse because she had been stabbed more than once and she was probably close to bleeding out.

It took at about 2 hours to stitch her up completely, she had some cuts on her legs and arms too. Along with some bruises, she won’t feel good tomorrow. You help her into some of your clothes and shut the door behind you.

The next morning you wake up early and see she’s still asleep. Which makes you feel better because she could try to kill you in your sleep if she woke up first.

You’re alerted to her waking up when you hear a groan from the guest bedroom. you slowly make your way to the room, knocking on the door.

“Hello?” her accented hoarse voice calls.

You slowly open the doors with your hands up, not knowing how she’ll react.

“Who are you?” her accent heavy in her words.

“My names y/n,” you tell her.

“What am I doing here?”

“I found you in an alley almost dead so I brought you here- to my apartment to help you.”

Her demeanor shifts a little bit before she tries to get up, “you really shouldn’t-”

“Don’t,” she cuts you off. “I don’t know who you are, but I need to leave.” She tries to get up but as soon as she sits up the sharp throb of the wounds shoots through her, and she falls back onto the bed. “What did you do to me?”

“You mean what did I do for you? I saved you from bleeding out in that alley Yelena.”

Her defenses shoot back up, stronger than before, “how do you know my name?” The coldness in her voice almost makes you shiver.

“I used to be friends with your sister, Natasha,” you tell her.

“What? how?” her confusion evident in her features.

“I used to work with the Avenger, I don’t know if they told you about me.”

She shakes her head.

“I’m y/n Maximoff, Wanda’s sister.”

“I thought she only had a brother,” Yelena says.

You scoff, “of course she just completely erased me when I left- anyway you should probably stay here for a little while so you can recover. I don’t want to be the reason that the famous black widow’s sister dies.”

“Why did you work with the Avengers? Did you have powers like Wanda?”

The mention of your powers makes you freeze, “you should eat something. mac and cheese, okay?”

She just stares at you, so you leave the room to make the food.

Yelena got a weird feeling when you checked her wounds, it took a lot of convincing, but she eventually let you.

You used nothing but care when you touched her, touches so soft she almost thought she was imagining them.

“You never answered my question,” Yelena whispers.

“Hm?”

“Do you have powers like your sister?” she asks.

“Yeah... yeah I do,” you hesitate.

“Why aren’t you an avenger anymore?” she asks again.

You sigh as you put on new gauze on her wound, “it’s a long story Yelena.”

“I have time,” she motions to her current state.

you sighed again and sat down at the edge of the bed, Yelena looking at you expectantly.

“I was never close to my family; my parents practically abandoned me as soon as I was born except i kept living with them. i honestly don’t know which is worse,” you start.

“To keep it simple I raised myself as I watched my parents raise my siblings. And when they died, we went to HYDRA for their experiments. And then after that we joined the Avengers Pietro died, our brother, and I made a mistake on a mission that got someone killed.”

Yelena’s brows raise, “was it an accident?”

“Yeah, but I killed someone, someone important and I was banned from missions after that, no one trusted me anyway, I wasn’t close to anyone thanks to Wanda, so I left.”

“What do you do now?”

“I’m a nurse, helping people just like I’ve always wanted,” you smile.

Yelena’s lips curve into a small smile, “Did you know who I was when you saw me in the alley?” you nod. “So, you know what I’ve done?”

“You mean what you were forced to do? Yes. But I don’t judge you for that,” you tell her.

“so, you aren’t scared of me?”

“Even if I was I would be able to protect myself, powers or not,” you tease.

“Mhm, I doubt that” she smirks.

“Maybe when you’re better we can test that theory,” you offer.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

The month Yelena spent with you was honestly one of the best months of her life. It was filled with friendly banter, teasing, and her making a new friend. Natasha hadn't tried to contact her because Yelena told her she was at a safe house for now. Natasha was reluctant to leave her be and demanded her location but Yelena being the stubborn woman she is refused to tell her. Only telling her that she'll be back soon.

She found comfort in the way you were able to calm her down if her mind kept her up. She was hesitant at first but the genuine worry in your eyes helped ease her worries.

those nights where she had trouble sleeping; you treated her with the upmost care. You offered to watch tv to help keep her mind off of her nightmares. she would inevitably get tired and fall asleep, and she would let her head fall onto your shoulder.

You honestly didn’t mind, you were just glad she felt comfortable enough with you to fall asleep, let alone on you. You just wrap your arm around her and her head leans onto your chest.

The next morning Yelena woke up on top of you on the couch, she immediately got up and went into the guest bedroom. The sudden movement had woken you up, “Yelena?”

You see her as she shuts the door. You didn’t see her for the rest of the day.

Later you learned that that was the first time she had ‘cuddled’ with someone and she genuinely didn’t know what to think of it. When it came to touch, all she thought was of how she had hurt people and how people had hurt her. So, when she woke up that close to you it had caught her off guard.

That’s you tried to help ease her more slowly into touch. You would sit closer to her on the couch and lean into her when something was funny, your hands would touch when you handed her something. Like your clothes since she had arrived here in her tactical suit.

Wearing your clothes also made it easy to be close to you, smelling your scent in the clothes she wore, on the bed she slept on.

She learned more about you in a month than any of the avengers had in the years you had as an Avenger, more than your own sister. you learned more about her too, her time at the red room, reuniting with Natasha, and even her time in Ohio.

As she got more comfortable with touch, she began to initiate it too, sometimes holding your hand when watching movies, or hugging you in thanks after you help her through some particularly hard nights.

You never expected a thank you, it was something that came easy to you: helping her.

And as she spent more time with you, she started to wonder why you never used your powers if you had them.

“Why don’t you use your powers?” Yelena asks as the two of you eat dinner together.

“Because i don’t trust them anymore.”

“Why?”

“Do you not remember when i told you that i killed someone?”

“It was an accident.”

“Someone’s still dead.”

She never asked about them again after that.

When Yelena was healed enough to leave you were honestly sad. You weren’t sure if she would come back. you were worried that if she asked them about you, they would poison her against you.

“Be careful okay,” you tell her as you part from your goodbye hug.

“I’ll do my best,” she teases. “I’m sort of an avenger so that’s not exactly unavoidable.”

“Oh, I know, just don’t die.”

She nods and looks in your eyes, “I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.”

You sigh in relief, “good, because I don’t want this to be the last time either. I happen to enjoy your company, Belova.

“I also happen to enjoy your company Maximoff,” she smiles.

And that’s when the arrangement started.

After missions, you were the person she went to, not Cho, her sister, or even an Avenger. you.

The way you would take care of her made her heart skip beats. the care you had for her obvious when you would worry over her when she showed up hurt.

And when you weren’t at your apartment, she went to the hospital you worked at praying you weren’t busy. Of course, you were but you were always able to aid her.

“What happened to being careful Lena?”

“Getting hurt isn’t something that is easily avoidable, y/n/n.”

“I know, but it feels like I’m always fixing you up after every mission you have. you know you can come see me when you're not injured, right?” you tease.

she smirks, “I know I just barely have time to.”

“Where do they think you’re going?”

“I honestly don’t know, I just sort of leave and when they ask I do this,” and she shows her glare.

“Okay easy there, I don’t want to have a heart attack before I finish your stitches,” you joke.

She smiles and shakes her head.

This arrangement goes on for about 3 months before Yelena starts to realize her feelings towards you, they felt more than friends, but she didn’t know what that meant. And her only solution was her sister.

“I don’t know what to do about it, I can’t talk to her about it because she’s the one I have feelings for, and I can’t function around her. she thinks there’s something wrong with me when I can’t form a sentence when she looks at me or when she touches me, I don’t know what to do!” Yelena rants as she falls onto Natasha’s bed.

“Sounds like love.”

Yelena’s head snaps up, “what?”

“You love her.”

After that she starts analyzing her interactions with you, thinking about how she would feel doing this like cuddling, kissing, cooking together. She often smiles when she thinks about it.

And she’s not the only one struggling with feelings. You’ve had trouble with them since about a month into you being her personal doctor. You’ve seen the way she looks at you when you’re patching her up, it’s not that hard to notice considering she’s never had to hide this sort of feeling before.

The feelings came into light on accident, she had finally had time to just come see you without getting hurt. You guys decided to sit on the roof of your building and have dinner since the landlord had been able to decorate the roof with lights and furniture.

You sat next to each other on the couch and ate your dinner in a comfortable silence, you both had had long days and just simply being in each other’s company was enough.

And as the night went on, Yelena's mind drifted to what her sister said,

"You love her."

And after a you noticed she wasn't listening to you, you wave your hand in her face, "you okay there?"

She nods but that doesn't really convince you, "what's going on?"

She sighs and puts her bowl down and moves so her body is facing you. You mirror her actions and wait for her to talk.

"Do you ever get the feeling that this could mean more than we think it does?" She asks.

Her question throws you off guard, having not expecting this from her, "I mean, yeah, but I never thought that you would."

She furrows her brows in question, so you clarify, "Being more than friends with someone didn't really seem like something you wanted. You never really talked about anyone like that before."

"Because I've never felt like this before, and plus I wasn't going to talk about my feelings to the girl I like. Especially when I didn't fully understand them."

Oh. Well, that makes sense. Wait- "You like me like that?"

"Yes, isn't that what this whole conversation is about?" She giggles at you.

"Well, yeah, but I guess, I don't-" Yelena can't listen to you ramble any longer so she grabs your face and pulls you in for a kiss.

It's unlike anything you've ever experienced before, the feeling of her soft lips perfectly fitting with yours giving you a feeling of euphoria. Yelena no different, this being the first kiss she's shared with someone she truly cares about.

You both pull away and rest your foreheads on the others', looking into each other's eyes. "We should do that more often," you breathe.

"Definitely."

The rest of the night was filled with longing looks, soft touches, kisses, and long talks about the possibilities for the future.

-------------------------------------------------------------

It's about a year after you guys confessed your feelings for one another and it's been great, you’ve been able to see her a little more often since she hasn't been assigned to as many mission recently.

Your relationship. has gotten to a point too where Yelena wants to tell her sister about you. The woman who both saved and changed her life. But that didn't really go over well.

"Why can't you meet her?" Yelena asks.

"I already have remember? It didn't exactly go to plan," you remind her.

"I know but maybe it's okay now, it's been a few years," the ever-stubborn woman that you call your girlfriend points out.

"Please? You've become one of most important people in my life and I want to share that with other people. Show them how much we love each other." She walks over to you and wraps her arms around your neck.

"The last time I saw all of them wasn't pretty Lena, I don't want your relationship with your sister to be impacted by this," you plead with her. "Maybe someday, but I'm also not ready to see all of them again, especially my sister."

This conversation didn't lead to the result Yelena was hoping for, so she dropped it.

It's only a few weeks later when Yelena is sent on a mission that's supposed to last for a little while. As she's getting ready to leave you make sure to give her a good luck kiss. "Be careful, okay?"

"I always am," she gives you another kiss. "I'll see you soon dekta." And she grabs her bags and she's out the door.

It's only two weeks later when you see a distress call from Yelena, saying she's hurt. You immediately use your powers to teleport to where she is so you can help her.

You run around to try and find her, and when you do you see her laying on the ground similar to the way you had found her the first time.

You run over to her and try to figure out what happened. You see she’s awake and hold her face so she looks at you.

“Lena, baby?”

“y/n?” she groans.

“What happened honey?”

“Explosives,” her eyebrows furrow when she looks behind you and that’s when you hear a gun click.

“Get away from her,” the authoritative voice of Natasha Romanoff orders.

“Nat,” Yelena tries to tell her who you are but she’s too weak to do so.

“Get. The hell. Away from her. I won’t ask again.” she demands as she walks closer.

“She needs medical attention-”

“I know she does, now walk away so she can get it.”

Yelena looks you in the eye and slowly nods for you to walk away. “She isn‘t going to listen to you,” she whispers.

You reluctantly set her head gently against the wall and get up and turn around with your hands up per Natasha’s request.

When you turn around and she sees your face you watch as she recognizes you. “What the hell are you doing here?

“She needed help, so I came.”

She shakes her and puts her gun down to run to Yelena, she picks her up and takes her to the quinjet. Taking off without you. Yelena looks around for you but she can’t find you.

“Where is she?” she asks.

“Who Yelena?”

“y/n,” she whispers before she falls unconscious.

The next time she awakes she’s in the medbay with Natasha sitting next to her.

“Are you okay?” she asks her younger sister.

“Fine,” she says even though her head feels like it’s going to explode and her entire body is sore.

“How do you know y/n?”

Yelena looks at her but doesn’t answer. “Where’s my phone?”

“Why?”

“I need to call someone.”

There was really nothing you could do as you waited for hours for Yelena to maybe call you to tell you she’s okay. It’s the next day when you finally here from her. And she’s asking you to come to the compound so she can see you.

You agree. You’re there within a couple minutes but you’ve run into an issue. How do you get past the entrance. You try and teleport to where you think the medbay to be and hope.

You look up and see the room Yelena’s in. You quickly walk to her hoping not to run into anyone. You walk on the room and see Natasha and Yelena talking.

They both look up and Yelena smiles. “So, you’re the person who’s saved my sister life,” Natasha says.

You nod, looking at Yelena who motions with her hand for you to come closer. You walk over and she immediately grabs your hand with hers and you rub your thumb over her hand.

“You okay?”

“Sore, but yeah I’m fine.”

The moment is ruined as the rest of the Avengers walk into the room and see you. You tease and move to let go of Yelena’s hand but she holds yours tighter.

Tony is the first to acknowledge who you are and he doesn’t really react except for a nod. The rest of them do the same except for Wanda. She glares at you and looks down and sees you holding Yelena’s hand.

“You two know each other?” she practically hisses at you.

You nod.

“How?” Wanda asks.

You don’t really know what to say so Yelena tells her. She tells all of them how you guys met, you saved her life, became her person, patched her up after missions, and are now her girlfriend.

“So that’s where you go,” Sam realizes. He wasn’t an Avenger that same time you were so he doesn’t know about the grudge the others held against you.

“Why did you go to her instead of Cho or at least one of us?” Natasha asks.

“I felt safe with her,” Yelena admits. Her response making you smile even though you’re still have a staring contest with your sister.

“Wanda, it’s okay,” Natasha tries to tell her.

“No, there is no world where this is okay,” she growls at you and walks closer to you. “You have done nothing but make everyone’s life harder so do us all a favor and get the hell out of here,” she demands as her eyes start turning red.

“No.”

“No?”

“No! I’m tired of you bossing me around. First, you’re younger than me, second, I haven’t done a single thing wrong towards you m my whole life. Third, yes, I was born being our mother cheated on your father, but I have done nothing wrong except for being born. The only reason you hate me is because your parents did and their resentment towards me reflected onto you so you hate me too. I’m not going to be your punching bag anymore. I’m done!” You yell and watch as her expression falls and she leaves the room.

All that’s left is awkward silence left after your outburst but you haven’t felt this kind of relief in so long. You’ve had this pressure on your shoulders tour whole life and now it’s gone. You’ve stood up to someone, not who you really wanted to but this is as close as you’ll get, and let them know that how you were being treated wasn’t okay.

You look down and Yelena and see her proud smile as she squeezes your hand, happy that you stood up to your sister. The rest of the Avengers eventually leave and you sit in a chair next to Yelena’s bed.

You just take a moment to look at her, the strong, beautiful woman you’ve been able to call your girlfriend. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Your cheeks warm from getting caught and say, “I just love you.”

Her smile widens, “I love you too dekta.”

You stand up and cup her face, her hands lightly grasping your wrists as you lean in and kiss her lips. It having been weeks since the last time you were able to kiss the green eyed beauty.

You kiss a couple more times before you lean your forehead against hers.

“You mean everything to me,” and she smiles brightly with rosy cheeks and pulls you in for another kiss. Letting you feel nothing but the love she has for you, and you revel in the fact that you finally have someone who truly loves you.

———————————

hope you enjoyed it <3

#yelena belova x reader #yelena belova #florence pugh x reader #florence pugh fluff #yelena belova imagine

[griffin-girl-r]

Don't go

Created: 10.10.2023

Finished: 14.10.2023

Edited: 14.10.2023

Age: 16

Word count: 1,904

Warnings: Crying, Throwing up, Danger, Explosion, Fainting

Request: Yes (Wattpad user)

Pairing: BlackHill

Note: This story will not have a part two

—

"See you tonight, kid!" Your Mom, Maria, said, kissing your head

"Love you, baby!" Your Mama, Natasha, kissed your cheek

"Please don't leave!" You sobbed, tugging at the sleeves of their suits

Natasha turned her head towards Maria and shared a worried look with her wife.

This was the first time, in your 16 years of life that you reacted like this.

Not even as a baby or small child have you refused to let your mothers leave for their mission.

"What's got into you, Y/N?" Maria chuckled in an attempt to light up the mood, but uneasiness was present in her voice

"I don't want you to leave!" You chocked out in between sobs

"Honey, it's just a small undercover mission." Natasha cupped your face and wiped away your tears "It's no big deal. We do this all the time. We just need to gather some intel and we'll be back by dinner."

"I have a bad feeling about this." You tried to reason with the two women "Just stay."

Maria laughed "Nice try, kid." Then ruffled your hair "Better luck next time."

"Why wouldn't you listen to me?!" You shouted

The couple isn't sure what reaction they expected but, for sure, wasn't this one.

"Sweetheart..." Maria sighed, trying a new approach "Nick would kill us if we didn't go."

"And you know it." Natasha continued Maria's sentence

"Mama, please." You kept pleading "Just listen to me."

"We'll be back by dinner." Maria quickly kissed your head again before grabbing Natasha's hand and dragging her towards the Jet

"Mama!" You screamed, falling to your knees "No! Don't go!"

—

"We shouldn't have left her like that, Maria!" Natasha said worriedly, pacing back and forth

"Babe, calm down a bit, would you?" Maria sighed from her seat "She's 16. We can't keep treating her like a baby anymore. She'll be fine."

"But she is a baby!" Natasha threw her arms in the air "She is our baby, Maria."

"Natasha, honey, I know what you mean, but what I'm trying to say is that she long surpassed the toddler tantrums era."

"I know, but still..." Natasha let out a deep breath, sitting down beside Maria "I'm just worried about the state we left her in. It's not like her to react like this."

Maria extended her arm and wrapped it around her wife's shoulders "I am worried too. This is the first time she reacts like this but we can't just stay home and not go to the mission. We have a job, Natasha."

Natasha rested her head on Maria's shoulder "You're right. I can't stop my maternal instincts that are screaming at me because I left my daughter crying without comforting her first but I also can't run away from my duties. Just like you said, we have a job to do."

"That's the spirit!" Maria cheered, placing a kiss on the redhead's forehead "Now back to business, we have some intel to gather. They won't even know what hit them."

"That's because they don't." Natasha stated unimpressed "What's the point of an undercover mission if they knew we were coming beforehand?"

Maria allowed her shoulders to fall as she looked to the floor "At least I tried."

"Focus, Masha." Natasha stood up and walked toward the command panel of the Jet "We have 10 more minutes till we'll arrive at our destination and we can't risk being spotted by anyone and blowing our cover."

"Tasha, relax." Maria smirked, sinking deeper in the seat "As you said it, they don't even know we are coming."

"Maria, you're taking everything too..." Natasha began but was interrupted by the ringtone of her phone

Natasha frowned when she picked up her phone and saw Clint's name on the screen.

Maria, sensing Natasha's uneasiness, stood up from her chair and speed walked towards her wife, worry etched on every inch of the commander's face.

"Clint?" Natasha answered her best friend's call, her voice slightly trembling, as she put the phone on speaker

"Nat, it's bad!" Clint spoke in a rushed tone, worry present in his voice "It's Y/N."

"What happened to my daughter?" Natasha asked, every muscle of her body becoming tense

"Y/N... Umm..." Clint mumbled, trying to find the right words

"Talk!" Maria shouted impatient when Clint didn't give them an answer

"You both need to come home, like, right now." The man said "Y/N hasn't stopped crying since you left. She even threw up a few minutes ago and I don't know what more to do to get her to calm down. Please return to the compound as fast as you can."

"Clint, we can't turn around just like that." Maria began but a scream, on the other side of the call, interrupted her trail of thoughts

"Mama!" You screamed, choking on your sobs "Mom!"

The next thing the women heard was silence followed by a loud noise.

"Y/N, no!" Clint shouted, dropping his phone as he rushed to your side

"Clint?!" Natasha yelled "Clint, what is happening?!"

"Y/N passed out." Clint breathed out, as his breathing picked up its pace "Shit! F.R.I.D.A.Y., call Bruce here immediately!" The mothers heard him saying

Maria snatched the phone from Natasha's shaky hands "We're coming back!" She firmly stated before ending the call

The brunette commander turned around and walked to the pilot's seat.

"Agent Hill." Fury's voice echoed throughout the Jet as Maria connected her comm to the plane's speakers "Agent Romanoff."

"Nick, we're turning around." Maria grabbed the yoke, turning the jet 180° around "Y/N is sick. The mission's over."

"The mission is over only when I say it's over, Agent Hill." Nick stated "Until then, you will keep following my orders, or you and Agent Romanoff, will be suspended for an undefined term of time from work."

"I don't give a cramp about your suspension, Nick." Natasha sat on the co-pilot's chair "Our daughter is feeling sick and we will go home to take care of her regardless if we have your permission or not."

"Agent Romanoff, you must understand that-" Fury's voice suddenly became silent

"That's better." Maria sighed relieved, ending the transmission between the Jet and the base

Natasha reached over and grabbed Maria's hand, a small smile tugging at the corners of the redhead's lips.

"Thank you." Natasha whispered

"Always." Maria brought Natasha's hand to her lips and kissed the back of it "Now let's go home to our daughter."

With a nod, Natasha turned her head and looked out the windows of the Jet, every passing second feeling like torture for the worried mothers.

—

"Mama? M-Mom?" You muttered as your eyes opened in the slightest, slowly regaining your consciousness, as a headache hit you full force

"We're here, kid." Maria's voice was heard as she slammed open the door

"Baby, are you okay?" Natasha speed walked to your side and sat down on the bed "How are you feeling?" She brushed a strand of hair behind your ear

"You're home." You said, your voice barely above a whisper as you forced out a smile for your mothers

"We are, honey." Maria kneeled next to your head, placing her hand on your forehead "Uncle Clint told us you didn't feel too well so we came back to take care of you."

"Thank you." You mumbled, enjoying the coldness of Maria's hand on your forehead

"We're so sorry for leaving you like we did." Natasha ran her thumbs over your knuckles "But we are here to take care of you and have a lot of cuddles together."

"Really?" You asked hopefully "You and Mom aren't going back to the mission?"

"I think we won't be going back to the field for a while from now on, kiddo." Maria chuckled, a hint of sadness present in her voice "But that's a talk for another time."

Your mothers shared an understanding nod before they both climbed into your bed and cuddled with you.

"We love you so much, little bear." Natasha pulled your head closer to her chest

"We love you, Y/N." Maria wrapped her arms around her girls as she rested her head on top of Natasha's

"I'm so happy to have you both here with me." You sighed contently, closing your eyes again, but this time for a nap

Somewhere in between the arrival of Natasha and Maria and the family cuddles, Clint, who had been by your side since you started feeling sick, slipped out of the room, allowing you and your mothers to have some privacy.

"We're here." Maria whispered in your ear

—

It was a few hours later when Natasha and Maria decided to turn the TV in your room on and turned down the volume as you were still sleeping, too exhausted from the emotional burst you had that day.

"I hope she feels better when she wakes up." Maria whispered, putting the news on

"Me too." Natasha whispered back, stroking your hair "I don't know what got her into this state but I'm grateful we turned back and stayed with her."

"You can say that again." Maria smiled and looked down at your sleeping face

Both women sat in a comfortable silence that was interrupted only by the soft murmur of the TV.

All until Natasha suddenly frowned as she intently watched the news.

"Masha..." Natasha breathed out, confused

"What is it, babe?" Maria whispered, looking from your face to the redhead's face

"That's the base where we were supposed to go in today for the intel gathering." Natasha explained shocked, pointing toward the TV

Maria looked at the news that was playing on the TV and was shocked to learn that the news was about a building, apparently the building they were supposed to be in today, that blew up only a few hours ago, leaving no survivors.

"This can't be..." The commander mumbled before grabbing her phone

A quick call between Maria and Fury answered all the questions the couple may have had.

There was an intruder between S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents that found out about Natasha and Maria's mission and delivered a warning to the enemies, who decided to blow up the building and every evidence that was stocked inside of it, hopping to kill the two female agents in the process.

Luckily for the married couple, they turned around exactly 6 minutes before the explosion, that was threatening to claim their lives, happened.

Maria and Natasha stared at each other with wide eyes filled with shock before they looked down at their daughter who was still peacefully sleeping, one question lingering in their minds.

How did you know about what was about to happen?

Was that the reason why you couldn't stop crying and tried everything to make them stay?

"Maybe it's like Peter's spider-sense." Maria muttered after a few minutes of silence

"Feeling the danger?" Natasha asked "I doubt that."

"Based on what we found out, I say it could be a posibility." Maria said, still in a state of shock

But no matter what they could say, one thing was clear.

You saved their lives today and they will forever be grateful for that.

How did you do that?

Not even you have the slightest idea how.

Maybe it was just the strong connection between you and your mothers that allowed you to feel they were in danger.

Or maybe not.

You'll never know.

—

Permanent taglist: @mmmmokdok , @natsxwife , @lovelyy-moonlight , @lizlil , @observeowl , @circe143 , @justarandomreaderxoxo , @theunchosenonee , @darkstar225 , @ravensinthedaylight , @dannipotatoo , @halstead-severide-fan , @daggersquadphantom

#mama nat #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #natasha x daughter!reader #natasha's child #natasha's kid #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #natasha x teen reader #natasha x baby!reader #blackhill #maria hill x daughter!reader #maria hill

[xecutivecucumber]

Executive Cucumber's Thoughts on the Bad Batch Season 3, Episode 5, The Return!

(And I'm doing this instead of sleeping)

Spoilers after the break

Notes may not be in order

At first I was a little disappointed that we didn't start immediately after the end of the last episode, but I think I prefer it. We can have the reunion any way we want now. It's possible that the writers thought that they would all just awkwardly and quietly get on the Marauder and fly off and they knew we would be disappointed by that. So they left it to us to imagine what happened next. I think that's also why they didn't show Crosshair finding out about Tech. For them, Crosshair might just stay silent, or disassociate or something and we wouldn't be satisfied. But now we get to imagine all kinds of angst for when that happened.

Oh, the contrast between Omega waking up on Pabu and on Tantiss. SHE DESERVES THIS SO MUCH.

Aww AZ really loves Omega.

Okay, but how did Crosshair accept the fruit? Did he say thank you? I NEED TO SEE CROSSHAIR BE AWKWARD AROUND NORMAL PEOPLE.

I honestly think Crosshair wants to train Omega as his replacement if he can't get over his hands.

Wrecker and Hunter just blatantly watching them is amazing.

MOM'S HOME

Crosshair's sass is everything to me in this episode.

I honestly think that Echo is the only one who really talks about Tech out loud because he's the only one of them who has experienced loss before. He knows how to handle it. The others...do not.

STOP MAKING CROSSHAIR GO TO COLD PLACES, ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT COLD PLACE TRAUMATIZED HIM

'Little brother' oh my gosh they are my everything.

I expected Crosshair to love Omega, but he ADORES her and I am here for it. I'm also here for the fury for when she is inevitably captured again.

Hunter, you are a butt. I still love you.

HIS ARMOR. YES. YES. YES.

'It still fits' it might not have because he was so skinny and that is devastating.

Oh my gosh Hunter and Crosshair's arguing is everything I could have wanted.

'Kill each other later' Echo I love you.

I love that Batcher is just a member of the Batch now. Also, Hunter, get your senses in order the dog is doing your job.

THE HELMETS. AAAAAAAAAGH.

Hunter: sees Crosshair tenderly arranging helmets

Also Hunter: this is unreasonably suspicious

TOOTHPICKS YES

HIS TREMBLING HAAAANDS

Ugh I love Crosshair and Hunter's fight so much. Crosshair isn't just pushing Hunter's buttons, he's legitimately angry that Hunter let Omega get captured and go through what she did. And then there's the beautiful subtext of 'you let Tech die.'

Crosshair and Batcher are best duo.

THE SNOW IS SO GORGEOUS

CROSSHAIR SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE TECH HE EVEN SAYS 'OMEGA' THE SAME WAY.

This is their get-along-worm.

Wrecker hugging Crosshair and Hunter may be one of my favorite things ever.

'There's no blood.' I am requesting all fic writers to provide me with a plethora of fics featuring Hunter and Crosshair fighting to bloodshed, ranging from angst to the stupidest argument ever.

CROSSHAIR YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU OPENED UP.

Okay after Hunter said he did things he regretted too I'm now convinced that he has committed so many war crimes in trying to find Omega. Wrecker has nightmares about it.

I can't remember where, but Crosshair's theme was played in the major key!!! LET HIM BE HAPPY

Crosshair is such a joy to watch this episode. This is who he is and it really contrasts with chipped Crosshair.

I miss Tech so much. I want to see him in this dynamic. I also want to see Crosshair and Phee's dynamic.

I mean this in the most complimentary way possible: this episode felt like a fanfiction. The focus on their interactions and emotions feels like something we'd get from a fic rather than Canon. And I love every moment of it.

I adore seasons 1 and 2, but there were definitely episodes I preferred over another. This season has been 10/10 for me so far. And once more I have to wait a FREAKING week for more.

#the bad batch season 3 #tbb season 3 #tbb spoilers #tbb season 3 spoilers #spoilers #the bad batch #tbb #the bad batch season 3 spoilers #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb omega #tbb wrecker #tbb tech #tbb batcher

[ratherbefangirling]

Every road leads to you

Character focus : Jimin, Yoongi, Reader.

Warning ⚠️: major depression, suicidal reader.

Ok hear me out this is about introverted and anxious reader and Jimin.

Jimin realised that you had been following him kind of everywhere. He didn't want to call it stalking but it felt very much like it. At first it was the grocery store. That was very innocent. It was his part time job. Soon he learned your preferences. You didn't say anything to him but you came like clockwork. Two days a week at 6 pm.

(MC doesn't realise she's being creepy. She's depressed. And anxious to go alone so seeing him calms her down.because she saw him help a little kid once when she was sitting in the park aimlessly.)

Then he saw you at the park. Book in hand, staring at nothing. He almost missed you but he couldn't forget the grey trousers and hoodie. With faded writing and browning sleeves. Your hair unkempt as you hid behind the hood.

He told Jungkook and Taehyung about you. One said he was overthinking the other claimed you had a crush on him.

"I've seen her stare at jiminie when he wasn't looking."

Surely it couldn't be because of him.

But then you are everywhere. The shooting range, the bowling alley, the shop at the corner where he gets clothes.

Thinks he's going to give you a restraining order.

He confronts you. You break down. Realising how creepy your actions come across.

So you stop except he feels guilty.

Goes to your house. Cause you mentioned your address while explaining that meeting him was a coincidence.

It's a mess. Like things everywhere. Piling up. Dirty dishes and he tries to only look at you and he blurts out.

"Ask me if you want to hangout"

Also you are arranged to be married to yoongi. Who left to live abroad for higher studies. And other than customary birthday greetings He doesn't talk to you. Which is one of the main reasons you've become depressed. Yoongi used to be your emotional support and your best friend before both your parents sprung up the engagement. But you were sure he was in love with someone because you'd seen a promise ring in his room that did not fit you.

So one day you felt too tired of life standing at stairs. Looking down staring down. Thinking how much it would hurt if you fell.

And so Jimin being Jimin helps put your life together. Heals you in places you didn't know were broken. And he watches you shine. And every day you smile brighter.

And when you don't he lends you a shoulder or hums you a sweet song. Which you accidentally recorded on your phone so when you're up at any ungodly hour it becomes your lullaby.

You start hanging out more and more. Almost attached to the hips.

Jimis friends tease him relentlessly about you.

You end up kissing each other. It's late night and you feel soft and warm and jimins wrapped around you and the movie is soft and emotional and it just happens.

But it's like a bulb lights up and you break away and Jimin ends up ignoring you unsure of everything.

It takes Jimin days to come up with the conclusion he's not helping you just because he's nice he's nor that naive and selfless. He loves you. He may not be in love but he loves you and you are so beautiful and he can't help but feel butterflies when he thinks of you. You're so easy to fall for after all.

So Jimin picks up some sunflowers on the way to your house and he is determined to tell you his feelings and apologise for ignoring you.

But when he reaches someone else is already there. Its Yoongi. You had shown Jimin his picture.

He looks more mature and put together. Wearing glasses but he's unmistakably Yoongi.

Yoongi comes back glad his degree is over. Glad he can finally be with you. Her mom tells Yoongi the pass code because he prepared to surprise you.

He wanted to give you time to grow as your own person. That's why he kept communication to a bare minimum.

You're trembling with rage as you throw cushions at Yoongi.

"How dare you come back after abandoning me?" You scream your eyes start to water a little.

"Y/n-ah you know it's not like that. I just wanted you to be more independent. I didn't want you to not have time to consider and be blinded by familiarity of knowing me."

"So you treated me like a stranger. No you were just being selfish I can't even stand to look at you."

Yoongi comes closer to you softly calling your name and then you're sobbing in his arms. And oh he's warm and oh he's real.

Why did you leave me. Was it so easy for you. Do I mean nothing. You keep mumbling.

And Jimin keeps watching like its a bad dream.

He takes a step without knowing and an ornament falls. Yoongi and you both look up. Your eyes meet Jimins.

"Jimin.." You call out and he's already running away.

Yoongi looks at you jealousy growing and his grip instinctively tightens on you. Maybe it wasn't the right decision at all. The realisation dawns on Yoongi.

#bts x reader #bts #bts fanfic #bts au #bts angst #jimin x reader #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #park jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #yoongi x you #yoongi x y/n #bts drabble

[inkinthequill]

🔞 Moms Need Loving, Too 😔🔞

Aptera is a single-mom in desperate need of some free time. Clearly, a babysitter is in order. She meets a strapping, buff college student at her local gym that would work. But, oh no! Aptera's strapped for cash right now... I bet you can guess what happens next!

Being a single mom was hard work.

Not only did Aptera have to balance all the childcare and housework on her own, but she also had to balance a job to pay for all their expenses as well. She was never angry or embittered about her situation. However, it was still exhausting, and she couldn't be there 24/7...

What she needed... was a babysitter.

That was a lot harder than most people might realize. First was the matter of finding someone she trusted to look after her child... and then being able to budget enough money to pay them, as well. Her addiction to true crime series had the unfortunate downside of making her hyper-paranoid of having ANY potential stranger left alone with her child.

Recently, however, she had a spot of luck.

In the little free time she had, she had started visiting a local gym; her job was stuffy and not very active, so she needed something to keep her moving and in shape. During her visits, she had met a college-age woman named Sara who stepped in to help her out when Aptera couldn't figure out how to use one of the machines.

It was pretty clear Sara knew how to use all of the machines. She stood a head above any of the men in the gym, built like a professional athlete, and was staggeringly pretty. Thick, silver hair flowed down her shoulders (when it wasn't tied up in a ponytail), sharp eyes paired with soft, seafoam green irises.

Needless to say, every time Sara walked over and started spending an abundance of time helping her out, Aptera had to try incredibly hard to focus on her exercise and not just... her.

Her repressed, yet steadily growing thirst aside, there was something even more important she was taking away from her frequent meetings with Sara. She was incredibly sweet. Considering she was in college, Aptera had no doubt she would mind a side job for some extra cash as well. So it was that she offered the babysitting job to Sara; though, she did take a bit of convincing. Not because she necessarily didn't want to do it at all, but more because she expressed a bit of nerves about being able to properly take care of a kid.

Over time, though, it turned out that she was a natural fit for it. After a bit of hand-holding and a pretty frequent amount of texts the first couple of times she babysat for Aptera, she had fallen into the role quite spectacularly. Aptera frequently came home to her daughter sound asleep, or all-smiles as Sara doted on her, played games with or, or otherwise spoiled her just a little bit.

There was just a little snag, though.

More money problems. Unexpected bills were a universal woe to most people, and of course, it struck Aptera as well. She was already decently frugal, having learned many tricks from her experience as a single mother; but that didn't stop a stray expense from hitting her when she really did not need one, currently.

What was a woman to do?

She needed to work more hours, but she wouldn't be receiving a check for said hours for at least two weeks...

At the same time, she didn't want to leave Sara high and dry when no doubt, she also had her own expenses to pay.

She came one night, late after working far too many hours to need to balance other worries on her mind right now. Nonetheless, she had to break the news to Sara.

When she came home, the woman was waiting outside her daughter's door, sitting against it and checking her phone. When it came to her bedtime, Sara frequently waited outside the door in case the kid started having a bad dream, or otherwise started calling out in distress. The extra-fast response time tended to get her back to sleep faster, Sara frequently told her.

“Um... hey, Sara...” Aptera said, her voice dry from a day's worth of answering calls.

“Evening, Aptera,” Sara replied, giving her a cheery, if tired smile. “Everything go okay at work?”

“Yeah... yeah, it was fine,” Aptera said with a nod, idly fidgeting with her hands. “She asleep...? Things went all fine, I imagine...?”

“Of course,” Sara said firmly, giving her a thumbs-up. “Got all her energy out earlier, and now she's out like a light.”

“Good... good. Thank you so much, Sara...” Aptera sighed with relief, a finger tugging into her blouse. “I... there is an issue, though...”

“Oh yeah? What's wrong?”

“Well, money is a little tight right now, so... I can pay you for tonight, but it'll be a bit before I can afford to have you babysit again...”

Sara blinked, completely stone-faced. “I mean, you don't have to pay me. I'm here to help, not for the money.“

Aptera stiffened in surprise, almost freezing in place. ”A-Are you sure? Really?“

“Well, yeah. The cash was just a bonus, I don't want you paying me if it's stretching you thin or causing problems.”

Part of Aptera felt guilty... while Sara was willing to help, she did feel bad at the idea of her taking all that time out of her day for nothing in return...

“T-There... is one solution, I can think of, though...” Aptera said, her body flushing as a suspicious look arose in her eyes.

“Hm?” Sara said, tilting her head curiously and raising an eyebrow. “Like I said, you don't have to stress yourself over any of that.”

Aptera cleared her throat, extending a finger as if to hush Sara. “Just... come with me for a second, okay...?” she whispered, extending her hand.

“I... well, okay...” Sara said, taking her hand-- Aptera leading her toward her bedroom...

+ + + +

“A-Aptera...”

“Shhh... just sit back and relax, okay?” the woman replied quietly. Sara was sitting on the edge of the mother's bed, Aptera situation between her knees and pinching her zipper.

Aptera slowly pulled the zipper downwards, letting out a quiet gasp as she spotted the size of the immense bulge she was unveiling. It was covered by soft, blue boxers, which did little to hide her rapidly stiffening shaft.

Aptera hooked her fingers into the belt loops on Sara's pants, tugging them downwards and giving the bulge a long, slow kiss through her underwear. The college girl bit down on her lip, fingers curling into the bedsheets and gripping them tight. Aptera's lips were plush, full, and ever so soft, and Sara could feel as much even through the thin fabric separating them from her cock.

Aptera hooked her fingertips into the waistband of her boxers next, tugging them downwards to reveal her prize. Well, this wasn't supposed to be her “paying” Sara, but... perhaps it was a bit more mutual than that.

What a prize it was, though.

Aptera's mouth hung open as Sara's girthy cock swung up to full mast in front of her face, paired with heavy, full balls from her teasing. The single mother was sure she had never seen such a massive package in her life...

“It's so... big... ❤️” Aptera said with a shaky outward breath, the heat of which rolled up the shaft and caused it to twitch and throb.

The woman found herself immediately gravitating to Sara's balls, pushing her lips against them in an open-mouth kiss. A hand reached up to play with the fat, uncut tip of Sara's cock, half-moaning into her balls as she smeared the girl's precum into her palm.

“A-Ahh...” Sara moaned, clearly doing her best to keep her voice quiet. It wasn't like they had the chance to just leave for a hotel and be as loud as they liked, so there was the added pressure of keeping their voices down... despite how difficult that was with how intensely Aptera was worshipping her balls and teasing her cock.

For Sara, this felt like a dream. She would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought about Aptera in this way on a few lonely nights— or, perhaps even stealing some glances at the woman's round, pillowy ass while helping her at the gym. Seeing her like this was on a whole different level, though... seeing the woman's gorgeous face, pressed against her crotch with such a lustful expression...

The mature woman slowly raised her face from her balls, steadily jerking her off while staring up at her with a lewd smile. “Poor baby... you're so pent up...” she moaned, giving the underside of the girl's dick a long, slow lick upwards. “How much have you wanted me to do something like this...?”

“A... lot...” Sara murmured, weakly.

Aptera giggled, opening her blouse to expose more of her chest; before taking hold of her dick again, and easing the thick head of Sara's cock in between her waiting lips— letting out a hum of satisfaction as she swirled her tongue around it. Sara closed her eyes and let out a soft, restrained gasp, having to bite a finger to keep her voice down. Aptera pulled off with a wet pop, continuing to pump the girl's shaft with her hand as she grinned up at her.

”Naughty girl... what were you thinking you would do with such a massive thing? Did you want to have your way with me? Make me all yours? ❤️“

”Y-Yes, ma'am...“ Sara said after a moment of embarrassed hesitation, her breath ragged as her tip continued to leak with signs of her immense arousal.

Aptera bit her lip as she eyed up Sara's huge cock and athletic body one more time, before letting go of the shaft. The girl let out a whine at the sudden absence of stimulation but quieted down when she saw Aptera stand up, push up her skirt, and slowly drop her panties down her legs-- kicking it off one leg and leaving it dangling precariously off the other.

The woman moved onto the bed past Sara, laying down on her back and propping up her head with a pillow; looking directly at Sara with a hungry glint in her eyes and slowly spreading her legs, clad in pantyhose. Her dark brown hair spilled beautifully the sheets, framing her pretty face perfectly. Sara could see just how soaked Aptera had gotten this whole time, waiting for her to come over and slip herself inside...

“Come on then, honey... show me just what you wanted to do to me...” Aptera teased, beckoning her over with a finger.

Sara didn't need any more invitation than that.

In seconds, she was on top of Aptera. Too heated to remain polite about it, she quickly tore into Aptera's pantyhose with a hand, enough to expose the woman's pussy to grind against and press into with the tip of her cock. Aptera gave her a teasing gasp, giggling at how eager and needy the younger girl had gotten. “Oh! ❤️ So rough ❤️” Aptera said, her voice raising an octave as she felt the tip of Sara's dick pressing against her entrance.

As the mother looked down at the cock currently being lined up with her pussy, she wasn't entirely sure if the whole thing would even fit in her...

Of course, that didn't stop the over-eager college student from suddenly thrusting her hips forward, both of their eyes rolling up at the same time; Sara from sinking into the tight pussy of the woman she'd lusted over for weeks, and Aptera from feeling Sara quickly filling every last inch of her. The woman felt her body stretching to take all of Sara's girth, each inch of it striking a spot that made her back arch as it pressed forward. Aptera almost came on the spot, having to cover her mouth to prevent herself from moaning at an obscene volume.

Sara groaned as she felt herself fully bottom out inside of her, the two of them panting as they both took a moment to adjust and get used to the sensation. The babysitter, deciding to get a better angle, hooked her arms underneath Aptera's legs and raised them into the air-- the mother letting out a delighted gasp, and a low coo of pleasure as Sara finally started thrusting her hips. Her high-heels dangled uselessly off her feet as her legs swayed with every pump from Sara, hearts in Aptera's eyes as the girl's cock began to rhythmically hammer against her womb.

“You... you feel so good, Miss Aptera...” Sara did her best to whisper, though she was struggling to keep her voice down enough as is.

“Y-You flirt ❤️“ Aptera purred, her breath sharp and ragged as Sara fucked her. Her sweat was hot on her skin as the girl worked her body over, Sara frequently kissing her legs and groping her body all over where and when she could. It was crystal clear just how much she craved her, feeling up her chest, her hips, squeezing her thighs... “You didn't even ask if you should put on a condom ❤️ Are you trying to knock me up, Sara? ❤️” the mother teased, staring up at her with unrepentant lust.

She had expected the girl to get flustered. She didn't expect Sara to get even more turned on.

The girl immediately folded Aptera's legs in half as she laid upon her, pinning her heels by the sides of the head as she started ruthlessly pounding her pussy. Sara did her best to quiet the two of them by leaning and stealing a kiss— passionately making out with the woman as she laid claim to her body.

Aptera moaned helplessly into Sara's mouth, her eyes rolling back up into her head as she felt her thoughts slip away from her. Every thrust was at a perfect angle to drive her crazy, feeling herself clamp down on her dick repeatedly in orgasmic bliss. She could feel Sara's dick twitch and throb inside her, the girl breaking the kiss and panting-- still unable to keep her hips from pumping away inside her.

“S-Should... should I pull out...?”

“N-Noo ❤️ Inside ❤️ Please, knock me up! ❤️” Aptera moaned in response, gasping in delight and arching her back as she immediately felt Sara's body tense up and give her exactly what she wanted.

A torrent of thick, hot cum started flooding Aptera's waiting womb; so much of which, that it began to spill out of her as Sara emptied those heavy, pent-up balls inside of her.

The pair panted together heatedly, kissing and squeezing and touching each other in a blissful trance for a good while; Aptera's legs weakly hugging the woman's torso to keep her from pulling out.

“Was... was that good, Miss Aptera...?”

“The best... ❤️” the mother murmured, kissing the girl's face. “Stay a little longer...?”

Sara nodded, her face flushing just as red as the rest of her body had grown at this point. ”I think... I think I'd like that, ma'am.“

Aptera squeezed her tighter, giggling and kissing her neck.

”Good... 'cause I'm still not done with you, girly ❤️“

#tag a friend who's always waking up pregnant #smut

[alyswritings]

could i request a tom and zendaya as parents and one of the parents has to go off for a film job and the baby/toddler is really missing them and the parent with them struggles thank u !

Tom left a few days ago to start filming a new movie, Zendaya and Y/N staying back home.

Ever since Tom left, Y/N hasn't been able to sleep, the goodnights over FaceTime not doing justice to the real thing. She's been sleeping in her parents' bed every night, but still doesn't sleep. Her lack of sleep has also effected Zendaya who doesn't sleep as much since her daughter is up.

Y/N hasn't had to be away from either of her parents for too long since they both reeled back on acting to focus more on their child than their careers. This is only Tom's second project since having Y/N and the first one was filmed close to home so he didn't have to travel anywhere and came home every night.

"I want daddy!" Y/N sobs.

"I know, baby. I know. Your daddy's working." Zendaya says, trying to comfort her child.

"Daddy!" Y/N wails.

"I know, baby. I know. I miss him too." Zendaya says as Y/N crashes into her mom's chest, sobbing into her shirt. Zendaya frowns, placing a soft kiss to her daughter's head. "I know, sweetheart. But we can FaceTime him later."

"No!" Y/N sobs.

Zendaya sadly sighs, hugging her daughter tighter.

A few hours later, Y/N is taking a nap, having exhausted herself from crying, and Zendaya is on the phone with Tom.

"It's, like, the third meltdown this week. She's not used to one of us gone. And this past hour is the most sleep she's gotten in days." Zendaya says.

"Well, what if... what if you guys just came here?" Tom suggests.

"What?" Zendaya asks.

"Yeah. I mean, she's not old enough for school, you're not filming anything there or anything. I don't see what obstacles there really are." Tom says. "Hell, we should've just done this in the first place."

"But what if she gets homesick? Or what if I get homesick?" Zendaya asks.

"We'll use my days off and fly home. Especially cause if she's here for too long, she'll start crying for her uncles and grandparents and all that." Tom chuckles.

"Yeah." Zendaya lightly laughs. "Okay. Okay. Yeah. I will... I will buy the plane tickets, pack."

"Okay. So, I'll see you two soon, then?" Tom says.

"Yep." Zendaya asks.

"Okay. Love you. I gotta go, they're calling me." Tom says. He blows her a kiss and she blows one back. "Kiss Y/N for me."

"You got it." Zendaya softly smiles as the two hang up.

- - -

Zendaya and Y/N walk onto the set, Zendaya holding her daughter's hand.

"Whoa!" Y/N gasps, marveling at the place. Zendaya softly laughs at her reaction.

"This cool?" Zendaya asks and Y/N vehemently nods.

"Hey! There's my two favorite girls!" The familiar British accent cheers.

"Daddy!" Y/N screams, grinning, and running towards him. Tom grins, crouching down and holding his arms out. Y/N crashes into him, her arms wrapping around his neck.

Tom softly groans as he picks her up, tightly hugging her and sways back and forth.

"Oh, hi, my love." Tom greets, kissing her on the head. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you a lot." Y/N states, hugging him tighter.

"Oh, yeah? How much?" Tom asks.

"This much." Y/N holds her arms out to her sides.

"Oh, wow, that's a lot." Tom gasps. "You know how much I missed you?"

"How much?" Y/N asks.

"That much." He points to her extended arms. "And..." He puts her down before holding his arms out. "This much." Y/N giggles, tugging on his hoodie until he picks her up again. "And hello, my adult love." Tom smiles at Zendaya.

"Hi." She quietly says, kissing him, and smiling.

"So... somebody told me you haven't been sleeping lately." Tom says, looking back at his daughter.

"I just missed you." Y/N defends, showing him her puppy dog eyes that always manage to melt his heart.

"Well, then it's a good thing you have me back. Because now you can sleep as long as you're able to." Tom says.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @venomsvl @wildieflower @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @itsmaneskinbitch

#tom holland #zendaya #tomdaya #tomdaya x daughter reader #tomdaya x daughter!reader #tom holland x daughter reader #tom holland x daughter!reader #zendaya x daughter reader #zendaya x daughter!reader

[queers-gambit]

hi! Absolutely love ur work, you're super talented! Would you mind writing a something about Billy with an insecure reader? Like just concerning her body and stuff :> if you don't want to it's no problem!

i am smooching your forehead, you cutie. i'm sorry it took so long but i'm finally thinning out my requests!!

The Weight of Words

pairing: Billy Hargrove x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Stranger Things

word count: 3.0k+

note: author is projecting!! maturity and caution advised!!

warnings: cursing, angst, shitty family relationships, a mother's hate, talk of birth control, talk of poor self image / self-esteem, author relived some conversations she's buried deep down and poured it into this. talk of diets, illusion to poor-food-relationship, again, proceed with maturity and caution.

The rain seemed to match your mood, beating down on Hawkins, Indiana residents relentlessly until you finally felt like a sopping piece of paper - ready to fall apart the second someone touched you. You tugged Billy's hoodie up higher on your head, tightening your hand in his as you hold the umbrella above you both while rushing for his car.

Moments before, you were hardly paying attention to anything around you as you were sat on the bleachers; trying to focus on your homework but the teachers must've felt the energy shift in the school and actually backed off of piling the work on. The weather seemed to drag everyone down, and perhaps, that was the reason for those harrowing comments you caught in the locker room right before lunch, that still plagued you.

Billy had another detention to serve because he was the "star" of the basketball team, meaning Coach got him out of after school detentions. Didn't mean he didn't get them still, just that he served during the lunch hour; interrupting the limited 'free time' you and Billy have. It left you alone, and while you had friends to sit with at lunch, you were feeling down since the previous evening and your mother made comments about your weight.

"Hmm, you feelin' okay, sweetie?" You mother asked, standing above you with a plate stalled in her hand.

"Yes, Mom, why? Don't I look all right?"

She tisked her tongue and turned to set your plate down on the counter, away from you at the table. "You're looking a little, well," she trailed off, shrugging as she used her hand to talk, "pudgy. Are you keeping up with your diet?"

"Mom," you groaned, sighing sadly.

"Janet," your father growled in warning, sat across from you.

"What, Hector?" She snapped. "It's a mother's job to make sure her baby girl isn't ruining her life!"

"I'm not ruining my life, Mom," you tried to interject, but the truth was, you were much closer to your father, and after you and Billy got serious (complete with your first pregnancy scare), you went to your father expressing interest in birth control.

Now, ask anyone else, and it was a 'smart, responsible decision', but ask your conservative mother? And birth control might as well been a death sentence.

The Pill wasn't widely accepted yet, but your father trusted you to be safe and after going to your OB/GYN together, he learned much more about contraceptive, and how condoms only work 99% of the time, before giving you parental consent. It was kept a secret from your mother, who would've surely slut-shamed you, but now you're wondering if keeping her in the dark was right.

It's true, The Pill made you put a few extra pounds on, but you didn't think it was bad. Your hips became shapely, your thighs rounding some, and your belly soon had a layer of "pudge". It wasn't a bad weight gain in your eyes, but if it was enough for your mother to notice, you knew it was enough for others to, as well.

"Well, you're looking heavier than usual!" Your mother snapped at you, making both you and your father shrink in your seats. Janet was a scary woman, and her words were law; her eyes blazing in anger as she look at you two. "And Hector! You let her drop cheerleading! No wonder she's putting weight on!"

"Mom!" You tried.

"No!" She raged, shoving your full plate into the sink and watching it shatter. "No daughter of mine is going to become a lard-ass in my house! We're going back on your diet, and you're going back to cheerleading - and that is the end of it!"

"Mom, I don't like cheer, anymore," you tried. "I was e-even thinking of going for softball in the spring - "

"Softball!?" She repeated with disgust. "So you can work on your manly figure, huh!? No! I will not let my daughter ruin her beautiful, feminine figure! Bad enough I let you get this heavy, but that's all over now! Tomorrow, you bring home a new permission form for cheerleading, or don't bother coming home. Now - here."

She spat her last word as she set a bowl of steamed veggies in front of you, glaring once more, before taking up your toddler brother to move into the living room. Your father caught your eye and mouthed an apology, watching you nod as you forked a stem of broccoli into your mouth. He stood, and within moments, you were heading for your room as Janet and Hector started their nightly yelling match that would only result in him sleeping on the couch - again.

While Billy was serving detention with Mr. Shwartz, you were pacing the length of the bathroom out of sheer anxiety. You eyed your outfit in the mirror, sighing in malcontent as your top showed off more of your figure than you'd realized. Figuring Billy had a hoodie in his locker, you turned for the door, and side-stepped out of the way of four cheerleaders, who were entering. They offered fake smiles, greeting you with sickly-sweetness; making you internally flinch as you remembered being in that particular crowd.

Only a few steps out of the room, you realized you forgot your backpack, and doubled back; only a few feet into the bathroom to grab your bag when the four cheerleaders were heard from their stalls, laughing, "Did you see what she was wearing? I mean! What was that!?"

"I know," another scoffed. "Like, sorry, babe, that top was cute two years ago - it's a little small now!"

"A little?" Another repeated, laughing. "Girl, that top barely covers her tits! Honestly, what does Billy see in her? It's like watching a cow try to fit in a tiny top!"

"Hey! At least her tits and ass actually finally came in, you remember how mis-shaped she was before!"

"Must be relationship weight."

"Doubt Billy's gonna stick around much longer! I mean, she's just letting herself go, and it's embarrassing to witness!"

Their laughter followed you out of the bathroom; your eyes full of tears as you rushed down the hallway. Reaching Billy's locker, you easily punched the combo in before wrenching the door open, snagging his hoodie, and only finding mild comfort when it was finally over your head and his scent invading your sense. Billy was bigger than you due to his incessant working out, leaving his hoodie a little big on you - and God, was it a life-saver now.

You were relieved for the extra material that seemingly still dwarfed you.

During the transition to class after lunch, you saw the four cheerleaders again; pointing at you and snickering to one another, making your anxiety spike once more. For the rest of the day, you couldn't find it in you to care for anything your teachers drowned on about, and when the final bell rang, you made a beeline for the gym to get comfortable until Billy was done practice.

Which brings us to the present, where you were trying to appear as small as possible on the bleachers with Billy's hoodie tugged up your head. You listened to the rain beat on the school's roof, then to the endless squeaking of the boys' basketball team sneakers.

Two hours later, you heard Billy calling your name. "C'mon, pretty girl!" He chuckled, offering his hand as you darted down the stairs.

"Hi, good practice," you whispered, pausing on the last step to reach his lips in a greeting kiss before stepping down in full; leaving you at least a foot smaller than he.

"Hey, thanks, baby," he smirked, tossing his arm around your shoulders. "That my hoodie?"

"Mhm," you nodded, fingering the material lightly. "Want it back?"

"Nah, baby, looks better on you," he nodded, pinning you with a confused look. "Everything all right? You look kinda, I don't know, sad?"

"Yeah, sure..."

"Baby," he sighed.

"It's nothing," you whispered, desperate to keep your emotions in check. Billy sighed and lifted your bag from your grip, tossing it onto his shoulder as you opened your umbrella for you both when you stepped outside.

And here, you were feeling more like a weighted piece of soggy paper that would've torn apart at any intruding touch, but only feeling able to stay together from Billy's grip on your hand. The rain was unbearable and started to sway sideways from the harsh, cold wind of late January; honestly shocking you that it wasn't snow yet.

After jogging to the car, Billy made sure to open your door and make sure you were in safely before shutting the door and rushing for his own. Once he dropped in, Billy sighed heavily and looked at you with concern, "All right, I know it's not nothing, so, don't try that with me. C'mon, baby, tell me what's wrong. Someone say something?"

"Billy," you sighed, reaching for his hand to idly toy with his fingers. He waited, knowing you sometimes need a bit of time to warm up to whatever was on your mind. In an effort to comfort you, he reached out to adjusted the heat setting of the car, letting it blast for a few moments before turning it down to a steady flow.

"We're not leavin' until you tell me what's botherin' you, pretty girl." You sighed at his words, tears springing to your eyes and making Billy tighten his hand in yours. "Who did it? Who hurt you?"

Your shoulder meekly shrugged as you felt his distinct protectiveness swell to fill the entire car; finally admitting, "It's... Kinda two separate things from yesterday and today..."

"Start with the first," he soothed, but you still felt his projected anger. You knew Billy hated your poor self esteem and trust me, he'd done wonders to help build you up - but while it took 1,000 compliments to build you up, it only takes one to knock you into the dirt. "Hey, baby, it's only me," he comforted when he felt your panic swell. "Only me, pretty girl, you're just talking to me, c'mon..."

You nodded, sniffling, "Well... Can I ask if you're... Attracted to me anymore?"

"Why would you ever ask that?" Billy frowned, sounding genuinely put off. "Baby, hey, hey, look at me, please. C'mon, look at me, pretty girl," he coaxed you into turning towards him, hand resting along your jawline to pet his thumb over the apple of your cheek. "What's going on? Who said what to you that would ever make you think I'm not attracted to you anymore? C'mon, you know that couldn't be true even if you tried."

You chuckled lightly at his complement before shrugging a bit, but hanging onto the wrist that was holding your cheek, "You know how I went on The Pill?"

"Mhm."

"Well, one of the side effects is... Is weight gain."

"Okay?"

"And, you know how Daddy was the one who took me to get it?" You pulled his hand down to hold in your lap.

"Yeah, 'cause your mom is batshit crazy," he chuckled, eyeing you wearily as you didn't always like him talking about your mother like that. Most of the time, she was supportive; but she had her own issues and sore spots that were taken out of you unjustly. And Billy worked tirelessly to make you understand that you are not your mother's worst insults.

But for this particular comment, you nodded in agreement, "Right, yeah, so, Daddy approved the medicine and we didn't tell Mom... So, because of that, she doesn't know I'm on it and noticed that I've gain some weight..."

"Oh, no," he sighed.

"Yeah," you whispered. "So, she noticed, right?"

"Okay?"

"She completely lost it on me, saying I was pudgy, saying I was going back on a diet, and all this other really hateful, awful shit. A-And today, I-I don't know, I just got a little overwhelmed. And then, there was the thing with the cheerleaders, again."

"What do you mean? What'd they do now?"

"Bee, take a breath," you whispered, squeezing his hand. "They noticed the change, too... Made a few comments about it when they thought I wasn't around," you sighed, feeling encouraged to continue by the way his thumb swept over the back of your hand. "And Mom wants me back on the cheer squad because it'll help get me back in shape... But how can I be on that team when they talk about me so fucking easily? And so hatefully? L-Like it's not my fault, there's so many medications that cause weight gain, or weight loss, and it's like I need to project that to be understood? That doesn't make sense, and girls are just so mean, and I don't know, I'm just - it's all so much right now!"

The tears got bigger and your breathing became shallow, making Billy sigh and tug you across the center console. "C'mere, c'mere, c'mere, c'mere, c'mere," he repeated until you were out of your seat and on his lap securely. "You listen to me," he sighed in a whisper, petting over your back, "you are the most beautiful woman I've ever known, okay? Extra weight or not, you're gorgeous to me. You're right, there's plenty of shit out there that can cause weight gain and it's not fair that people don't outright understand that. Fuck what everyone else says, you hear me? They only wish for a fraction of this ass," he chuckled, smacking a hand to a cheek before giving a hearty jiggle, "and to have your brains, your wit, your humor..."

"Did you do something?" You asked teasingly, resting against his chest comfortably, manicured hand scratching into his hair for your own comfort. "Kissing my ass pretty well."

"Nah, just want you to understand that I'm obsessed with you and everything about you, and that it doesn't matter to me how much you weigh or what you look like - 'cause I fell in love with much, much more than that," he whispered, pulling back to press his lips to your forehead. "I know it's easier said than done, pretty girl, but don't listen to them. They're just fucking jealous of you, they're unhappy in their lives, 's the only reason anyone talks shit about anyone these days - 's all just pure jealousy."

"And my Mom?"

He sighed, tugging you in closer, "She's just... In her own fucked up, really warped way, she's trying to protect you, I guess. I'm not saying it's the right way, or even the right thing to do, but she's trying in her own way. But you don't need to hear that shit - I know how much it hurts," he sighed. "Just listen to me on this, hey? You're so fucking beautiful, and those bitches are jealous."

"Bee?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can you stay with me tonight?" You pouted a little, offering him your best puppy-dog-eyes.

"How can I say no?" He smirked, nodding at you. "I'll stay, baby, yeah. Your mom home?"

"No, she's working late, and you know she comes home and just crashes on Friday nights..."

"All right," he sighed, petting a strand of hair from your forehead. "You want me to say something to her when I see her?"

"No, no, please don't," you begged, sighing after. "I uh... I'm gonna go back to cheer... Maybe placate her with one thing, since I can't really control my weight."

His head cocked, "Thought you were gonna go for softball in the spring? Baby, you lettin' her words get to you?"

"Billy, you know better than anyone in this town how heinous parents can be... So, maybe the easiest thing right now is to go back to cheer to keep her calm."

He sighed, shaking his head, "Nah, you wanted - "

"Billy, I want peace more than anything."

"She doesn't get to bully you into things you don't want to - "

"Neil doesn't get to bully you, Bee, but we both just deal with it - right? We have ticking-time-bombs for parents and you and I have learned to diffuse them instead of letting them blow up."

He sighed, leaning back in his chair. He hated when you used Neil to deflect his anger, but you had a long day, and your emotions were out of control. "All right, truce, truce, truce," he relented. "You wanna go back to cheer, I'll support you, baby. But please do it because you want to, and not because your mother bullied you into it."

You chuckled lowly, "Yeah, I've been in cheer so long, maybe I won't switch up my sport yet. Might wait for college for that."

He cocked his head, asking, "Could you do both?"

"Oh, uh, I'm not sure..."

"I'll ask Coach on Monday," he assured softly, squeezing your thighs. "Wanna go to Joey's?"

"That's in the next town, Bee."

"And you love that chocolate shake they have," he smirked. "C'mon, baby, 's been a long day... Lemme treat you to something that's gonna make you smile."

Sighing gently, you nodded, "Okay, but we're splitting the shake."

He smirked, "You better not order the salad, either. Or I'll take you home, drive to her work, and have a word with your mother."

"Don't," you warned, then sighed. "All right, if I order the burger, what about the sweet potato fries?"

"Deal," he beamed, leaning in to peck your lips. "C'mon," he chuckled, helping you climb back over him to settle in the passenger seat again. "But I'm ordering us regular fries - sweet potatoes in a shake? Nah, that's just gross."

You chuckled, "You order the regular fries, please. I'm craving the cinnamon-butter they have."

"Oh, shit," he remembered, nodding, "all right, yeah, you get the sweet potato fries and butter, I'll get the regular fries, we split them?"

"Yessir," you smiled softly, reaching for his hand to lace together in your lap. "Thank you..."

"For what, baby?"

"Helping... I wasn't having the best day, but you really helped."

"You know I love you," he smiled, "and you know when you're sad, I'm sad, but when you're happy, I'm happy."

You let your head rest on his shoulder; fingers toying together as he drove you out of Hawkins High School, heading out of town for the diner with fancy cinnamon-butter.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove one shot #billy stranger things #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader

[ssahotstuff]

Aaron Hotchner Playlist Collection 💕

I Found Someone by Cher here

Warnings: smut, age gap, oral, fem receiving, unprotected sex, alcohol use, cursing

Word count: 6k

Meeting your father's friends was usually something you didn't enjoy doing. They were boring men with wives that were too good for them, all into accounting or something mundane that didn't make for good conversation at the dinner table. You weren't sure what to expect when your father explained that his guest this evening was an FBI agent, a man named Aaron that he golfed with on occasion. Your mother was trying to play matchmaker, but you told her to keep dreaming; you couldn't help but be curious about the stranger though, eagerly awaiting his arrival.

"Now your father says he's a private man. He may not warm up to you quick," she warned, and you rolled your eyes, knowing you were the most lovable person on the planet and no one could resist your bubbly self, even a big, strong FBI agent.

You wore a shorter lavender dress and sandals, since the weather was cooperating. Your mother had repeatedly complimented your outfit, that's how you knew you'd done a good job getting ready. She was a tough woman to win over, but her idea that you and this secret visitor would hit it off was one she wasn't ready to shake any time soon. Your father had given you the go ahead if you were interested, because you were grown, and he said he was 'exactly your type' and that was an exact quote.

You had just started work on dinner when he arrived, your father inviting him to have a drink by the pool. You took a second standing in the bay window to admire him; he was your type. He was tall and broad, with dark hair and a strong, manly face. He looked like an FBI agent in his khakis and crisp baby blue dress shirt. You pulled yourself away from the window to focus on the meal you were cooking, your mother had abandoned you in the kitchen to see to her guest.

You checked on dinner which was nearly finished, all you needed to do was set the table. It was at this point the handsome stranger had decided to come introduce himself, standing idly by while you put plates in their proper place.

"Your dad tells me we have you to thank for dinner tonight," he shot you a dazzling smile from his spot by the door, and you gestured to the table, trying to make light of the situation.

"Mom means well when she starts, but she usually leaves me to it. I'm Y/n," you put out your hand for him to shake, noticing how his hands swallowed yours up, and it left your imagination to wonder as to what he could do with them. You wanted to scold yourself for being so shamelessly attracted to him but you couldn't help it, he was exactly what you wanted in a man.

"Aaron. It smells delicious in here. Is there anything I could help you with?" You were shocked at his manners, how helpful he was. He put silverware and napkins on one side of the table while you brought the food to the table. He made a satisfied hum as you sat dinner on the table and you took a moment to be proud that you'd learned something in the kitchen and could impress a man with your cooking skills.

"I'll grab your parents, if you want," he offered, so you poured the wine and waited on everyone to join you.

"Smells like the holidays in here," your dad chirped as he took a seat at the head of the table, Aaron taking the seat across from you.

"Wrong kind of bird," you'd made a chicken, baked to golden perfection with the right amount of seasoning and butter, hoping it was as juicy as it looked.

"Either way, it smells good dear. I don't know what I'll do when you move out," your mother not cooking was kind of the family joke—you always made meals, no matter who was coming over. Your dad loves your cooking and so did everyone else, you hadn't met a soul that complained yet.

"Starve or live off of microwave dinners," you shot back and he groaned, all while shooting your mother a loving look from across the table.

"Maybe you can still cook for me on Sundays," he was especially sensitive about you moving out and into your first home in a few weeks, his little girl all grown up and going out on her own. He'd helped you pick the house, deciding on a small, two bedroom home on the opposite side of town, but still close. You would only be five minutes away.

"Sunday dinner sounds doable," you bargained, knowing you'd be busy with your new job but the weekends were always free.

"Her apple turnovers are going to change your life," your dad told Aaron, making you blush. You weren't usually so bashful but your smiley guest had you on your toes, making you a bit more alert than normal.

"I can't wait to try them," he offered you a smile behind his glass, your mother tossing you a knowing look from her spot at the table.

"Tell us about what you do, Aaron. You're a profiler, right? Y/n took a couple of classes at the Academy," your mother beamed, hoping you'd have more than one thing in common with him. He explained briefly what it was exactly that he and his team did, how he was always on the road, and that it was a hard lifestyle to keep up with. He was saying these things to see how you'd react to the toll his job took on his personal life, if it scared you. You weren't the slightest bit intimidated, in fact, you would happily make your schedule work around something like that. You worked from home so it would be easy enough to manage a sporadic relationship, and you were more than interested in the man across from you.

"What do you do exactly?" He asked you, and you assumed your father hadn't explained to him.

"I teach homeschooled children four days a week, it's all on the computer so it's pretty neat. There are only 3 kids I teach regularly so it's a really personal experience," he clung to your every syllable, his gaze on you entirely as you spoke. You'd never felt so recognized; it was like someone was finally hearing you for the first time.

"When I retire from the field I think I'll teach at the academy," he told you, and it seemed that you had more than one thing in common—you could tell by your mother's perpetual happy face that she was excited the two of you seemed to be hitting it off.

"After dinner we'll show Aaron the pool table," your dad said, winking at you from his seat. You were the undefeated champion in your house, your dad had taught you well and you practiced nearly everyday having a table so easily accessible. It was your party trick, your go to at bars to hustle men out of money. You'd play dumb the first couple of games and then you'd sweep them under the rug, leaving them wondering how you did it.

"Something tells me I've been practicing the wrong sport," he was an avid golfer, and you went occasionally, if your dad asked you to. You hadn't been since summer ended, but if they were to invite you, you'd go, just to see Aaron play.

"Oh she's a hell of a golfer too. We should go before you move, take Aaron with us," he suggested and you agreed happily, knowing there was a white tennis skort in your closet that you were dying to wear in front of Aaron. It was long enough to wear in front of your dad but short enough to be rather scandalous, and what better way to tease the new object of your affections?

"I'm free this week," he told you, and so you all aimed for Tuesday, meeting at the country club to spend the day whacking balls around. When dinner was finished you stayed behind to help your mother with the dishes, Aaron and your father making their way towards the basement. Aaron shot you one final look before descending the stairs, a mixture of curiosity and anticipation on his face. Your mother was all giggles as you stood at the sink, washing as she dried.

"He likes you. I can tell," you felt yourself blush uncontrollably as you worked along side of her, trying to keep a straight face.

"He just met me, mom."

You had noticed his eyes on you through dinner, the way he couldn't pull his gaze from you no matter who was talking. He was more interested in your reaction to what was being said, or what you had to say.

"He gave you that look, and I know that look. It's the same one your father gave me," their age gap was similar to yours and Aaron's, which is why your parents were so okay with it in the first place. He was nearly forty, but you didn't mind—he looked really good for his age and it didn't intimidate you the way it might some women. You liked older men, preferred them in fact. He was right up your alley, as predicted by your parents.

"Don't get carried away," you finished up and joined your father and Aaron in the basement, your mom trailing right behind you. She poured the four of you a drink and you watched your dad and Aaron play pool; he was good, but your dad finished the game quickly, pocketing all of his balls first.

"Come play," your dad urged, giving you a chance against Aaron. You started off easy, making a couple of shots, giving him time to keep up with you. It wasn't until your third simultaneous pocket that Aaron started to get concerned he might lose.

"You're a lot better than I expected," he admitted as you won the game, your dad cheering you on from his chair across the room. Your game room was impressive, pool and air hockey tables in the center, a bar in the back, along with several loungers and chairs to sit in. You and Aaron played another game while your parents talked, but eventually your mom and dad went upstairs, leaving you alone with him.

"I know we're golfing this week, but seeing you again is at the top of my to do list," he said after taking a shot and missing, letting you have your turn.

"I'll give you my number and we can do something," you agreed, exchanging numbers before your dad requested Aaron's presence, so you followed him upstairs. They went out back by the pool, leaving you and your mother in the kitchen. She'd just put an apple turnover on a plate for you and then herself, sitting down at the table with you.

"Your dad sees it too. He wants you with someone who can take care of you," your mother explained, and you knew that as overbearing as they could be at times, they only wanted what was best for you.

"We're going to see each other again," you whispered, watching her gush with excitement for you, her hand on your arm.

"I hope you see him everyday."

You had been texting him nonstop. After he left your house, he sent you a message, and it was never ending after that—you always found something new to talk about, keeping conversations going for hours. Your phone hadn't been so glued to your hand since middle school when you'd first gotten one. You walked around the house with a smile plastered to your face at all times, feeling like a lovesick puppy at all times. He was just so sweet, constantly giving you compliments and telling you how he couldn't wait to see you again—it made you want to see him all the time.

You'd just closed your bedroom door for the night, climbing in bed so you could text him uninterrupted by anything else. His nights were spent clacking away at his phone, talking to you, and you loved being able to occupy such a large portion of his time. You especially liked that he made time for you despite his hectic schedule.

Instead of a text message, he was calling you, his name flashing across the caller ID, making you do a double take.

"Hey," you were surprised he was calling but you wouldn't complain about hearing his smooth, deep voice again.

"I don't know how you feel about calls, but I wanted to hear your voice before bed," he purred, making you sink further into the pillows, smiling to yourself.

"You can call me any time. Tell me about your day," you encouraged, and so he did. He didn't give you all the details, but he'd got to work locally the last few days, and he'd finished things up just in time for your golf day. It was tomorrow, and you'd had your outfit in mind for days, hoping Aaron liked it as much as you thought he would.

"I'm excited I get to see you again tomorrow," he told you, making your cheeks heat up even if he wasn't around to see it. He could reduce you to a puddle in no time, make you feel at the top of the world with his sweet words and kind nature.

"I've thought about it all week," you told him, his chuckle low and melodious on the other end of the phone.

"Me too. I was going to wait until tomorrow to ask, but while I've got you on the phone, I was wondering if I could take you on a date."

You agreed a little too happily, but you'd been expecting it in a sense. You knew you wanted to see him where you could be around him without your father and you were hoping he'd be a gentleman and ask you out instead of just asking you to come to hang out. You had no doubts that at his age, he was interested in something serious, and you could tell he knew how to treat a lady by the way he was always polite and courteous with you, making sure you were comfortable with him asking certain questions.

"Then it's settled. I don't want to sound impatient, but the sooner the better," you had craved a man that was all about you and it seemed as if you'd finally found one; Aaron was especially attentive, wanting to give you his undivided attention whenever he could. When he wasn't working, he was texting you, giving you updates about his day and asking about yours, or asking a question to learn more about you.

"Excited to see me?" You joked, and he hummed in response, making you eager to hear his response.

"I've been waiting to see you since I left your house. There's just something about you that I can't get out of my head," you were shocked to hear him so transparent but you appreciated his honesty. It had been a long time since you'd genuinely felt anything for anyone, and you'd given Aaron a spot in your life easily compared to other men you'd dated. Aaron was different; he was mature, he knew what he wanted and he wasn't afraid to tell you how he felt.

"I'm glad we're on the same page," you'd felt the same, the man had laced your every thought, making you feel like the most important person in the world with his sweet messages and desire to talk to you.

"Can I take you out tomorrow night? I'm off the rest of the week so any time I can see you, I want to."

You quickly gave him all of your free time, making plans to work twice as hard in between golfing and your date so you didn't fall behind.

"Tomorrow is fine with me. Should I drive?"

He told you that the two of you could meet at his house and you could leave your car there, that way you could come back to his place after dinner. You talked for a while, making plans for the week, just enjoying the conversation. Before you knew it, it was midnight, and you were yawning loudly into the receiver.

"Get some rest, sweetheart. I can't wait to see you tomorrow," you were anxious for the following day, nervous to be around him again. You hoped he still liked you after he spent more time with you, that he didn't get bored of you.

"I can't wait either. Sweet dreams, Aaron."

"Sweet dreams for the sweetest girl."

✨✨✨

"I can't believe you got a hole in one!" Your dad was still celebrating your triumph as you sat down for lunch; you won your round of golf free for making the shot, and they'd given you a gift card for the restaurant inside. You sat between your dad and Aaron, your eyes scanning the menu while Aaron's lingered on you. You hadn't missed his not so subtle stares all day, the longing looks he'd throw you when your father was taking his shot. He couldn't keep his eyes off of you, and the attention was driving you wild.

"You played such a good game today," Aaron told you, and your dad nodded in agreement, toasting his glass of wine to you as he took a sip.

"To you," Aaron clinked his glass against yours, his eyes lingering on your lips as you took a satisfying sip.

"What do you have planned for the rest of the day, Dad?" He was meeting your mother to shop in the city, which meant you could go home and work in peace with no distractions.

"Will you be home tonight?"

You shook your head, and he didn't press the issue, he didn't ask any invasive questions like your mother would have. He trusted your judgement, although he'd ask you everyday if you'd be home for dinner so he knew whether to make it a date night and take your mother out. You were going to miss them when you left, but your boxes had been packed for a while, and you were excited to start a more independent chapter of your life.

Your dad spied a friend across the restaurant and went to say hello, leaving you alone with Aaron for the first time all day. His hand brushed the fabric of your skort under the cover of the table before cupping your knee briefly.

"Did you wear this just for me?"

You nodded, blushing like mad as he smirked back at you over the rim of his glass. His lips were perfect, the most gorgeous shade of pink you'd ever seen, and his smile was something to be treasured. It was rare but you were getting to see more of it, and you adored it.

"I have another outfit for dinner though," he leaned forward slightly when he realized your dad was preoccupied, whispering low enough that only you could hear.

"You won't be home tonight, so I'm hoping that means you'll be with me?"

You took a sip of your water, needing to cool off. You hadn't thought about it when you told your dad you wouldn't be home, but you'd kind of hoped Aaron would keep you out late, or you'd just end up staying with him.

"Is that what you want?"

He nodded happily, sitting back as your food was delivered to the table, your dad rejoining you. The rest of the meal was spent reliving the victory on the course, your dad as happy and proud as you'd ever seen him. You knew he wanted to make the day a special one since you'd be leaving soon, but you'd already planned to make golf days with your dad a regular thing after you moved.

You all parted ways and you went home to work, not stopping until 6 when you needed to start getting ready. You fluffed your hair a bit, deciding it still looked good and slipped on a tight, baby blue dress, your bra and panties matching it. You were applying some lip gloss when he called you, obviously happy to hear your voice.

"I'm so excited to see you, sweetheart."

"I'll be ready in like, ten minutes," he was glad you were ahead of schedule so he sent you his address and it looked oddly familiar, but you couldn't quite place it. You promised to head over as soon as you got off the phone, so he let you go.

The reason his address seemed so familiar was because it was two streets away from the house you'd bought, so you'd live in the same neighborhood. You pulled up to his house and he met you at the door, his eyes trailing over you without abandon as he pulled you in for a hug.

"God, you're stunning. Look at you," he rasped, leaning back so he could take you in. He looked incredible in his black slacks and navy blue dress shirt, and you made sure to tell him so.

"You know that house on Orchard Street with the for sale sign is mine," you told him, his eyes going wide as he led you to the car.

"You mean you'll be a minute away from me all the time? I'll never get anything done," he helped you into his car and shut the door, joining you at the wheel. He let you control the radio as he drove you to a restaurant uptown, it was romantic and quiet, just how you preferred it. He took your hand and led you inside, the two of you ordering water instead of wine. You wanted to go into the night with a clear head, just in case you had to make any hasty decisions.

"I'm so glad you let me take you out. I would've done it sooner but work makes things, well, difficult," he was secretly terrified that his job would scare you off, but you took his hand from across the small table, lacing your fingers through his.

"I can live with difficult."

You didn't stop talking until dinner came, and even then you found things to talk about. It was so easy to speak to him, he was letting you in a lot easier than you'd originally anticipated. He was quick to tell you anything you wanted to know.

"I figured after this we could watch a movie at my place. I made brownies just for you. I remember you said they were your favorite," you'd had a brief discussion about baking a few nights ago when he complimented your apple turnovers, but you hadn't expected him to remember, but he did.

"Are you always this sweet, or is this just for me?" It was his turn to blush, leaning toward you to brush your hair over your shoulder.

"There's just something about you. I don't know what it is," for a moment as his eyes reflected back into yours, you could see a future with him. It was easy to imagine a life where you made yourself available to him and in return, he treated you like royalty. You could see it as clear as day when you looked into his eyes, and it made you want more of him, just like that.

"I feel it too."

By the time you made it back to his house, he was giving you a t-shirt to change into, which hung off your body just as your dress had, hitting the middle of your thigh. You could tell by the way he stared you down as you climbed into his bed that he'd wanted to see you in his clothes; it was possessive for him, like now that you'd worn his shirt, you'd always belong in his clothes.

"You find us something to watch while I change clothes," he excused himself and you browsed the channels, settling on a scary movie that had just started. He saw what you'd chosen and turned out the lights, climbing in bed next to you. Your nerves had completely disappeared and was replaced by a new feeling entirely—you wanted to get caught up in him, give yourself over to him if he'd allow it. You were half naked in his bed, hoping and praying he acted on it.

"Can I come a little closer?" His voice was like silk in your ear, and instead of responding, you moved into him, letting him drape his arm around you. His free hand was in his lap as he set his focus on the tv, but you could tell by the frequent glances in your direction that his mind was somewhere else entirely.

"You're effortlessly beautiful, do you know that? Not many people can look like this just sitting to watch a movie," his hand met your shoulder, squeezing lightly as you turned to face him.

"I really like the way you make me feel," he moved a little closer, pressing a kiss to your shoulder through your shirt, but it still made you tingle all over.

"I want to make you feel good, all the time," he promised you, his head in the crook of your neck as his lips met your skin, featherlight and delicate, but it set you on fire, making you clamp your thighs together. His hand met your thigh, his fingertips pressing gently into the doughy flesh as he let his lips linger over yours.

"Kiss me," you pleaded, rewarded by his mouth meeting yours. It was everything you hoped it would be; his mouth was urgent and needy, his tongue dancing against yours as he brought you to straddle his lap. You could feel your panties, slick and sticky with arousal as you sat on his lap, his hand snaking between your bodies, creeping under your shirt.

"Can I see you, pretty girl?"

In a second you were tossing his shirt over your head, letting him look at you in your matching set as his hands wandered over every inch of you, stopping in the middle of your back to unclasp your bra. His mouth sucked a trail of kisses across your chest, taking each of your nipples into his mouth until they were stiff, tweaking them between his fingers as you tried not to grind against him.

"Gonna lay you down, sweetheart. Would it be alright if I taste you? I'll beg if you want me to," you knew by his tone that he was serious but you'd never make him beg, not when his eyes were darkening by the second as you climbed out of his lap and laid against the pillows. He made sure you were comfortable before he parted your thighs, examining the ever growing wet patch on the front of your panties. His fingers darted out to touch it, his thumb brushing your clit through the fabric, making you moan lightly. His eyebrow shot up and he did it again, this time slowly dragging his finger upwards with a bit of pressure, the sensation enough to make your legs shake.

"Sensitive girl, gonna have so much fun with you," his words went straight to your core, the fire you felt for him now an uncontrollable inferno, consuming every inch of you.

"Been dreaming about this since I met you," you told him, ducking forward to give him a kiss, his hands massaging your thighs, splayed across your skin beautifully.

"Mhm, I wanted you as soon as I met you. I couldn't stop staring—I still can't," you knew he only had eyes for you, he gave you too much of his attention, wanted you around as often as you could be. He grew tired of teasing and slid your panties down your legs, laying his head on your thigh, his eyes glued to your sex. His fingers slid through your arousal, making you sit up on your elbows to watch him explore your body. His fingers found your clit, rubbing at an agonizingly slow pace, making your brows pull together as you bit your lip, staring down at him.

"Already, baby? We're going to have so much fun," he was thoroughly amused as you came undone, shuddering under his gentle touch. His fingers flicked expertly at your clit, his thumb brushing over you lightly before he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to your clit, peering up at you to gauge your reaction. You felt your mouth fall open as he did it again, this time swirling his tongue around your bundle of nerves. You let out a strangled noise that was music to his ears, because the kisses didn't stop, combined with the fluid movements of his tongue, you were whimpering his name in no time, gripping the sheets as he brought you to the edge.

"Tastes so good, let me feel you do it again," he slowed down dramatically, his tongue lapping at you at a more steady, precise pace. It was driving you insane, how quickly he could give you what you needed, his mouth moving against you like he'd always known what your body needed.

"Jesus, Aaron, your mouth is perfect," the words came out as a whisper, but he heard you, his lips curling into a grin as you went limp against the mattress, your head on the pillow, one leg tossed lazily over his shoulder. He was content, pleased to be pleasuring you. You were addicted to the way his hands gripped your thighs, pulling you further into his mouth as his tongue traced patterns on your swollen, sensitive clit. You'd had more orgasms than you could count under the mercy of his tongue, but he was sitting up, crawling on top of you so he could kiss you passionately, his hand cupping your face. He pushed down his pants and boxers, kicking them off.

"Are you okay with this, sweetheart? If you're not, that's okay," you pulled him forward, encouraging to slip into you.

"I don't have a condom," he groaned, but you told him you were on birth control, so with one final glance at you, he let himself slide into you, your walls stretching to accommodate his massive member. You let out a moan as he bottomed out in you, wiggling against him and he hadn't even moved his hips yet.

"Impatient, baby. Let me get used to you, feel you squeeze me tight," for a moment he stayed completely still, letting you clench around him as he throbbed inside of you.

"I love the way you feel inside me," you panted as you looked up at him; he began to pump in and out of you, especially slow, like he was trying to control himself. His eyes were barely slivers but there was a ghost of a grin on his lips as he buried himself inside of you, gripping him like a vice.

"You're so perfect, sweetheart. You feel so fucking good, my knees are shaking," he could barely keep his balance as he fucked you, struggling to stay upright as he thrusted into you, making you feel whole, completed. It was unusual that you didn't feel the least bit insecure with him; you hadn't had the chance. He made you feel like the most desired person in the world, it was hard to feel anything but wanted.

"Aaron, please," he sped up a little, the sound of his hips smacking your flesh bouncing off the walls as he let go and stopped holding back—his pace changed and he was pounding into you, making you cry out in ecstasy; you never wanted anyone else to touch you, only Aaron. You'd never been so sexually satisfied, and you didn't want to share him with anyone else. His thrusts were getting sloppy, his hips moving into you on a mission as his hands gripped your thighs tighter. When he finished inside of you, you held your breath at the sheer intimacy of the gesture, happy that he trusted you enough to do it. He kissed you hard on the mouth as he leaned forward to caress your face, his thumb brushing across your bottom lip.

"I can't get over the fact that you'll just be around the corner in a couple of weeks," he got up long enough to grab a towel, cleaning you up before he slid back into bed with you. You cozied right up next to him, feeling for his body in the dark. His hands found yours, his fingers weaving together with yours.

"I hope that means I'll see more of you," you'd be lying if you said you weren't already falling for him-it was inevitable, from the moment you met him.

"You want to see me again?" He sounded kind of surprised, like he hadn't expected you to be so eager to spend more time with him, but you were hooked; you didn't know if you'd ever be able to get enough of him.

"You're kidding, right? Of course I do. Unless you don't," you were scared for a moment that he only wanted you for the night, and nothing more, but in the darkness you felt his lips connect with your cheek as he settled in for the night.

"I want to see you as often as I can. Your dad invited me over on Sunday, he said you're grilling out and I can't miss that," it would be the last time you got to use the grill before summer was officially over, and it was kind of like your going away party since you'd be moving out the following day. Your dad had practically begged to do a cookout, as long as you agreed to cook everything. You were going to miss cooking for him, the little compliments about your meals that he'd always give you that made you feel special.

"I have a suspicion that they want us together," he chuckled, peppering your face with kisses as he rolled over, tossing his arm over you. Neither of you had bothered to get dressed, so your bare back was pressed against his chest; you'd never felt so secure, so safe with another person.

"Your dad told me the day I came for dinner that we'd be good for each other. I knew he was right by the time I sat down for dinner," he whispered, kissing your shoulder blade as he cuddled into you.

"He's hardly ever wrong," you yawned, his arm snaking under the blanket to wrap around your middle, his other arm tucked under your pillow. He seemed to be completely at ease in the bed with you, and it made you hopeful for the future, what you could be together; you hadn't expected someone to come into your life and flip it upside down so quickly, not when you were about to begin an entirely new chapter of life, but you were glad it was him.

Master tags: @wheelsupkels @periodtcevans @hausofwhores @criminallyobsessedcm @tojithesourcerkiller @fireworksinthesky @realdirectionx

#aaron hotchner #criminal minds #hotch #ssa aaron hotchner #ssa hotchner #aaron hotchner smut #hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner playlist collection #ssa aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x reader smut #aaron hotchner x reader

[laughingsour]

Wind’s father figures.

Okay, this is definitely one fic I gotta write when I finish my current one for One Piece:

Before meeting the Chain, Wind has had a total of three people he's considered his dad.

Everyone talks about Linebeck and how he's Wind dad even if he won't admit it, so for now I'll leave him be and focus on the other two.

-First it was his birth father that tragically died when he was 5. He was a famous cartographer from whom Wind inherited his love for the sea and navigation skills.

-Wind's father would tell him the legend of the Hero of Time himself and other stories about his journeys across the Great Sea while they would both stare longingly at the waves.

-When Wind was born, he stopped sailing for some time because he was afriad of leaving his family alone if something happened to him. But when Wind's mother got pregnant with Aryll, the family was suddenly in need of more money.

-It was then that someone offered Wind's father a huge sum for drawing a map to locate the infamous ghost ship of the Great Sea. He took the job because the money would be enough for the family, but he'd have to lie to say he wasn't happy to get back on the waves one more time.

-Wind's father was able to complete the map and even discovered what was the supposed treasure in it's cargo. But before he could tell anyone, he mysteriously died and his map dissappeared.

-Since the map was nowhere to be found, the rich man who commissioned him refused to pay his familiy. This is one of the reasons Wind started to embrace the pirate's life while sailing the Great Sea.

-Wind's mom died when she gave birth to Aryll and so her two children were left to be raised by their grandma.

-During Wind Waker, Wind bonds with the King of Red Lions/King Daphnes

-I imagine King Daphnes as an opposite to King Roahm, but just as tragic and unintentionally harmfull. While Roahm didn't make sure to let Zelda know that he was in her corner, Daphnes innocently put too much pressure in Wind by remaining supportive, but still placing all his hopes in him.

-Think of Shifu's line to Tai Lung in Kung Fu Panda, "I loved you too much to realize what I was turning you into. I'm sorry."

-King Daphnes is not only is the first to believe that Wind has the makings of a Hero, he remains his biggest supporter through their journey.

-King Daphnes is the one who teaches Wind how to navigate and sail and Wind is ecstatic to find out he inherited his father's skills as a natural navigator and cartographer.

-He also encourages Wind to explore the Great Sea as he's wanted to his entire life, on the basis that it'll help him become strong enough to face Ganondorf. More importantly though, Daphnes just wants Wind to be as much of a kid as he can be in their situation.

-It's not long before they start to see each other as father and son. Daphnes tells him that, even if the gods thought otherwise, to him he would always be as brave and heroic as any old legend and that he's proud no matter what happens.

-This does become a problem because Daphnes has such belief and pride in Wind that he fails to realize in how much danger he's dragging his boy into. A brave boy, yes. But still a boy who shouldn't have to fight a man's battle.

-Because of that, he never stops to think about persuading Wind to stop and let an adult handle it. Wind would've refused of course, but that conversation between them never happens.

-It's not until Wind's friends start to be chosen one by one to fullfill their duties as Princess and Sages that Wind starts to question Daphnes and the kingdom's importance.

-Makar becoming a Sage is the last straw for Wind and he and Daphnes have a terrible disagreement. In the end, Wind tells Daphnes that he'll keep fighting to save his friends but that he was a fool for getting attached to someone who's just using him.

-That serves as a wake-up call to Daphnes to what he's doing and he starts to wonder if this world would be better off without Hyrule.

-Wind not only discovers his father's ghost ship map but also manages to hunt the ship down and recover the treasure aboard: A piece of the Triforce. He still doesn't find out what truly happened to his father but he's glad that his final work wasn't for nothing in the end.

-His expirience aboard the ship leaves him very shaken, but he still refuses to speak or listen to Daphnes unless necessary.

-When Wind gets appointed as the new Hero Spirit before descending to Hyrule again, Wind no longer feels as excited as he thought he would be in that moment.

-When Daphnes wishes for Hyrule to be drowned, part of him wants to come with Wind to keep raising his boy, if he'll have him. But the other is too weighted down by regret over failing his kingdom before and his son in the present.

-To this day, Wind is still guilt-ridden over saying Daphnes never cared for him. He'd give anything to be able to take it back.

-Wind is very much aware that Daphnes put him and his loved ones in danger and he's conflicted on why he chose to stay to drown. But he can't find it in him to stop missing the King or loving him.

#legend of zelda #linked universe #lu wind #King Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule #king of red lions #wind waker

[yourkimjaejin]

Forged - a scene from my muse'e past that they think made them stronger in the long run

"What do I think made me stronger in the long run? Hmmm.....I think....that my parents divorce made me stronger in the long run." "My parents divorced when I was four. They were together in college but they didn't see it going far. You know, they were having fun and after one night my mom ended up pregnant so they decided to make it work." "But it didn't. Staying together for me...ruined their relationship as a couple. According to my mom, getting ready to have me just amplified as the bad traits she couldn't stand about my dad. That goes vice versa for him as well." "Growing up, it never registered that they were divorced. My mom moved back to Korea to have me and for most of my life there wasn't a moment where I missed my dad. For the first ten years of my life, my dad lived in Korea before moving back to New York. I didn't even know my parents were divorced until I was......fourteen? Even then, my parents drilled into my head that it wasn't my fault. That it was on them that their relationship didn't work." "The reason I bring this up is because learning about their divorce taught me family isn't just blood relation. Family is who you chose to do life with. My dad could have left us high and dry but he didn't. and I think that alone shows how amazing my dad is. He kept us in his life. When he started dating, any women interested in him got the run down about us and how we were in his life to stay. Luckily he found my step mom and she's just the best." "I took those memories and brought them with me when i joined NCT. I was a bit weary at first but seeing them want me.....want to do life with me helped me trust them. In a way, I saw a piece of my dad in the members." ~ Aurora

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Immediately, my mind goes to my brother. He used to be a model but things didn't pan out for him. It....jaded him on...any type of job in entertainment or fashion. He used to go long rants about how any those jobs wouldn't pan out. How my voice alone wouldn't get me far. That it was smarter to focus on ice skating. But that didn't stop me." "I auditioned for SM. I got accepted and the day I left for Korea, my brother didn't show up." "It hurt......to know he could do that to me. But I didn't have time to process why because I started training the next day." "The day I left home for Korea made me stronger in the long run. I spent every waking moment with the thought, 'I have to prove him wrong.' I was so focused on becoming the best. To show him that I was different, that I could make it. During that whole time my brother and I didn't talk. Our mom tried to get us to hash it out but both of us faked busy to avoid each other." "We finally talked everything out last year. That talk, just confirmed everything that I already thought. He wanted to protect me. From feeling the same disappointment he felt when he quote unquote failed as a model. We're cool now. If anything his pride in how far I've come has made him unbearable. He brags to all his clients about me, NCT AG and Wish." "While it sucked to lose a family member for however long it was, it gave me the courage and the strength to make it thru training and thrive as a idol with two groups to her name." ~ Juno

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Taglist: @alixnsuperstxr / @1-800-call-ria / @sophrodite / @sunflower-0180

#NCT AG #NCT AG.Juno #NCT AG.Aurora #NCT AG.Info #nct female addition #nct female member #kpop addition #kpop!au #kpop!oc #kpop!addition #nct female oc #kpop female member

[inkbutterflyuniverse]

I'm still unsure about who's parents I like the least.

Honestly, it's between Lynne Bowen, Terri Porter and Cash Caswell

What Ricky's mom did: letting her boyfriend answering her phone, then showing up with him without asking her son when it's been only like two months since she left them, and knowing that her son didn't react well to the separation. She also left for Chicago, which is not close from Salt Lake City at all.

Then, there's Cash Caswell, EJ's dad. He called some people, pulled some strings, so that his son would be admitted to Duke, and then wasn't supportive of his son decision to take a break for a year and tried to send him to The Caswell Success Training School, located in St Louis, Missouri. Now EJ said in the song Speak Out "I call my dad, but never talk ; Can't ever say quite what I want ; No, it's never enough, never enough ; When the words just don't add up ; So I call my dad, and never talk". The lyrics reflect his relationship with his dad who is strained since he refused to follow his wishes.

And finally there's Terri Porter, Gina's mom. She left Salt Lake before the end of season 1 with her daughter. Then in season 2 she left her daughter behind because she wanted to stay. And she came back at the beginning of season 4. So if we do the maths, she left for less than one year. At the end of season 2, Gina waited for her for the opening night, buh she didn't show up and send her son to excuse her.

In season 4, she wanted Gina to be focus and said no boys. The mother is someone very ambitious who wants her daughter to go far in life. She's very happy that Gina got the movie. Then she meets Mack and her no boys policy is forgotten because he's a successful man, he's already famous.

To Ricky, she dismiss him because he's just an average boy trying to figure out his future, she doesn't care that he loves Gina. She's VERY happy to tell him that Gina got that movie, that she will go to New Zealand and insist that it's "with her co-star Mack". Yeah we know you like him and not Ricky. She's here to see HSM3, Miss Jen noticed that it was a big metaphor for Ricky and Gina's lives. But if the mom notices, she doesn't care. It's only after Ricky sang to Gina that he loves her that she's like "yeah maybe I can accept you".

A parent can not like their child's lover, but she didn't even tried to know him when Gina said that it was him that makes her happy. She was just rude without any reason. She liked EJ but she doesn't care to know Ricky...

None of them is at the same level, but they all hurted their child, they all weren't great parents and persons at some moments. They all hurt their child, intentionally or not.

Lynne is better than Cash and Terri, but do I like her because she was there to Ricky after his breakup? No. Because Mike was there all the time, he stayed, he tried for his son, even though he wasn't living well the divorce. Lynne just left, she didn't even tried to stay close to Ricky, she went to Chicago.

Terri wasn't physically there, but she still done things for Gina like their Valentine's tradition, and she sent her son when she couldn't come so that someone was there for Gina. But she still left for her job, and announced that to Gina a few days before leaving. It was the middle of the semester, Gina just got here, and she finally had friends and a project she was implicated into. She could have found a solution so that she would at least stay for the musical. She sent her son but Gina was still excepting her. The last time they saw each other was during the spring holidays, when Gina went to see her. But the mother wasn't able to come back just for one night.

And Cash at least let EJ go to college even of it wasn't what he wanted for his son. They don't really talk anymore, but he didn't forced him to go to his school.

Objectively talking, Cash is the worst, but do I really like him less than Gina's mom? 🤔

#high school musical the series #hsmtmts season 4 #hsmtmts #hsm the series #cash caswell #ej caswell #terri porter #mrs porter #gina porter #lynne bowen #ricky bowen #mr caswell #who is the parent you like the least?

[verylostkirukunstuff]

` Peaceful Reader AU ` [ 1 ]

Weakling

- Madness combat x reader

Warning : Death(?) , Trigger , Emotional (?) , diseases

---------------- Start ----------------

" what-.what do you mean My child won't last more than two years? "

" We are sorry, your child has a very weak body. So they also had other diseases. We can't help them. "

One Doctor spoke and stare at the weakling grunt name ' y/n '

" the best You should spend time with your child before they can rest for eternity. "

After speaking, they left the room.

Your Pov :

I started to look at my mother She cried and hugged me tight, I feel weak, can't do anything, just lay in the hospital waiting to die.

" mom, don't cry.. I'm still here hehe.. "

I hugged my mother with a smile.

" My dear. I just-.. *sob* just feel unfair. "

Her words hurt my heart again.

" Can you at least smile at me? I want to see your smile again! "

" I-I will try.. "

She smiled at me as her tears fell. She kissed my forehead and left the room. She left two lilies on the flower jar. I hold 1 Lilly and look at it .

" I wish someone could help me be normal again, I don't want to be a weakling .. It's so alone.. I want to be free and be myself again.. "

I mumbled and stare at a lily. Later, an unknown door opened. I saw a mysterious figure in a cloak with stars on they face. They walked up to me and touched my forehead. I feel very warm and relaxed.. Unconsciously, my eyes began to close.

" Wake up , Weakling "

I heard a strange sound calling my name. I feel very dizzy.. but try to focus around.. Just a moment! Where am I?!!!

" Ah, you're finally awake "

"Excuse me, where am I? Who are you? So what am I doing here?? "

I have a lot of questions in my head. but don't want to ask-

" You're in my realm, I'm The Maker "

" The Maker?.. Hmm "

" You don't need to know much about me, weakling "

" Alright ! But can you tell me what I'm doing here?? "

I asked Them to know his answer.

" You should calm down. You're here because I have a job for you. "

They spoke and looked down at me.

" a job? for me? I'm only a child not even older. "

I mumbled and glance at him.

" Easy work, don't worry, you will become sane grunt, But the incurable disease remains with you. "

They began to go down on my level. he smirk about how short I was.

" Uhm.. Can you tell me what incurable disease means? "

They stunned at my word, like somethings very wrong about it?

" Didn't that doc tell you?"

I stare at they and shook my head.

" Hmm. Incurable disease in this sense is 'Ice blood' You will feel cold all the time and have a weak body. But I wonder why you can survive longer than normal grunt.. because the disease can only kill people in 2 days. "

They stare at me and pat me like I'm a little puppy.

"But it can also make grunt around you relaxed and calm, you know? "

They began to carry me and floating up, I see many stars on the sky It so beautiful.. I never seen this before..

" Well the job is live as sane grunt and make grunt around you calm . "

They closed my eyes and send me somewhere.. Will I able to be warm like that again?

- Present Time -

Somewhere at Nevada

Your POV : It been long time that I Live in Nevada and still not die yet-Many people died from the three criminals by joining the AAHW. But good for me I don't join the AAHW things.. Because I have a weak body plus Fighting is not for me, remember the job that the maker told me? yes ' live as sane grunt and make grunts around me calm. ' I rarely to show up on the public or many place, so many people don't recognize me.

Let get back to the point.. I'm sitting with a friend named.. ' Hank J. Wimbleton ' I know he's crazy person but he not attacking me and asking me for being his pal. I feel so curious right now- I decided to whisper to him.

" hey! how was your day "

Hank turn to me, damn he look so scary too.

" Good. "

" that's a great, I will go now we can hangout tomorrow ! "

I nervous about his answer would be..

" can I follow you. "

Yes, Like I thought he would said that

" no no! hank.. I want to have my personally space too- "

" You know that, you can't stop me. "

" If you follow me, I will not let you hangout tomorrow. "

I sigh and hug him before walking away, he stunned about 5 minutes and wave back at me.

walking away from him is not really good choice but I will let him choose about follow me or go back to his place. I walking back to my house that look like abandoned house, of course.. I made my house look sinister so nobody will enter my house while I'm resting :)

I opened the door, inside my house clean don't even have trash on the table or on the floor. I walked up to the second floor. there only have a bed for one grunt, I changed my clothes and took off the scarf and hat. another day of life , another day of memories .

" Don't worry about your life time, [ Y/N ] . "

" You are their weakness, you know? "

(( hello! this is my first time that writing this stuff if there have some mistake . I'm apologies! TvTT

#madness combat #madness combat x reader #peaceful!readerxmadcom

[astridthevalkyrie]

From one south asian sister to another….. oh no :( have you been telling them you’re wearing the hijaab but not actually wearing it? I can definitely just TELL the absolute awkward tension though of them finding out.

Luckily enough my parents haven’t really forced it onto to me and respect my own boundary of when I want to wear it, I can wear it.

thank you for checking in! i'm gonna use this ask to explain what exactly happened. i'll put most of it under a cut since this got really long. at a cliffhanger too, click read more to see the story.

so my first day of work was yesterday, i started at a store in our local mall. i knew my parents were the type to drop in without warning and i did expect them to do it eventually, but not on the first goddamn day. i had my phone on me tucked under my clothes even though technically i should have left it in my bag, just so i could check their location, but obviously i was training and couldn't just pop it out and look at it whenever. so when they came and saw me, without my hijaab on, i never saw them.

my youngest sister texted me saying that my mom had come home, said they went to the mall, and said they "needed to talk to me." she said my mom didn't seem too mad, but obviously i got nauseous pretty much right away, i could barely focus in the last hour i was there. it was better that i knew before they could ambush me, though, so thank god for my sister.

i get home and immediately play off that i'm sleepy, and crash onto the bed for a "nap." i heard my mom say something like "so why weren't you wearing your scarf" but i was pretend half-asleep so it got brushed off. then i pretty much just laid there for a couple hours.

we were supposed to go to my aunt't house, but my mother didn't want to go anyway, and she told my sister that since i wasn't feeling well, she would just use me as an excuse to stay. and, y'know, fuck that. i have a ten page paper due today that i have written half a page of that i need to get done and submit in eight hours today. and i should have worked on that yesterday instead of going to my aunt's house, but the idea of being alone in the house with my mother after that revelation actually makes me wanna drive a knife into myself.

so anyway, i "wake up" and tell my dad i'll go, he just quietly nods along and whatever. so i go up, and now everyone's upstairs, and as i'm drinking water my mom asks, "why did you have your scarf off while working?"

and while i was asleep, i considered three options: a, i could tell her that i decided to do it for job hunting and work because of discriminatory reasons. b, i could tell her that i started doing it a few months ago when law school started. or c, i could i tell her the truth, that i've been doing it consistently for two years and even before that whenever i wanted since i was 13.

i went with option b. so i told her no one made me, or anything, i just didn't want to wear the hijaab anymore. and that went about as well as you would imagine it to. here are some of the things i heard last night (not capitalizing, but most of these things were yelled, not spoken calmly):

"You're so spoiled. I allowed you to stop reading Quran, but this is too much." - not true, I stopped reading Quran everyday and she has continuously pestered me about it since, she hasn't allowed me jack shit.

"What's next, you stop praying, and then you're not even Muslim anymore!" - haven't prayed in years, but she doesn't need to know that. also, never wanna hear anyone say to my face again that all muslim women choose to wear the hijaab and no one ever forces them, or at least not in the precious western world.

"I always thought cousin x was like this because of the way she was raised, but now my daughter with MY raising has turned out like this." - the cousin of hers she was comparing me to hit her while she was pregnant with my sister. lovely comparison. also way to make it about yourself.

"It's because you watched too many movies and listen to too many songs." - a classic. check out all those things i participated in that hurt so many people. listening to music? what a horrible sin.

"It's because you hang out with friend x and friend y, they've filled your head with these thoughts" - the friends she named were my two closest friends, both of whom are black women. mind you she followed up with "i don't want you hanging out with black or white or non muslim friends anymore" but she also reemed into friend y, who mind you, has always greeted her politely and dressed appropriately if she was visiting my house. the other girl? more religious than i am (though she's christian) and neither of them drink or smoke or anything like that. meanwhile a muslim girl i hang out with wears a hijaab on her head for sure, but she vapes, drinks, goes on dates, but sure. muslim girls are the fuckin role models for this generation, definitely.

(she also took this opportunity to walk into my sisters' room and scream that she doesn't want them hanging out with their nonmuslim friends either. we live in a very white area—they don't have muslim friends. i only started to make them in college because my high school didn't have any but me. so.....total isolation except from their family! how healthy i'm sure my sisters will be fine.)

"I don't want you around my other daughters, i don't want you influencing them." - probably the one that stung the most, but also hilarious. HILARIOUS that she thinks i need to influence them. my middle sister hates my mother at the age of 15 far more than i did in my teen years. she's had trichotillomania for years and my mother has consistently told her to: just stop, that she's doing it for attention, that she must like doing it, etc.. so, yeah, my influence? definitely not needed. it's not like my sisters come to me to talk about things they can't talk to our parents about. i'm not worried about the day i have to move out and leave them, not at all! i'm sure they're in such good hands!!!

oh, fun fact also! my mother got married at like 25? 26? and only started wearing her hijaab like a few years after that. i wonder how she was raised! if me having been forced to wear it at 8 is bad parenting, i wonder what this says about my grandmother.

and here and there my dad being the coward he is interjected with "i don't understand why it's so hard" to which i answered that i didn't expect him to. when she screamed at my sisters i told him to stop her and he just said "she's in shock." like okay??? so come scream at me you fucking bitch???? i also had to play pretend that my sisters didn't already know i did this.

my brilliant father also said that while i was living with them, i need to wear it, but after marriage it was on me. oh RIIIIIGHT. marriage! after i belong to a man instead of my parents! the marriage that could very well be to a man who requires a hijaabi wife! why didn't I think of that??? and when i told them as much my mom cut in before my dad could and said "so what if he wants a hijaabi wife? is it a bad thing for him to be religious? better than being a degenerate!" am i actually. here? is this real life? is this fantasy? i mean same woman who told me she hopes my husband beats me if i continue to do theater so not surprising, but i'm sure my spoiled little brat self just doesn't understad.

then my mother goes and sobs in her room for a couple minutes. my dad gives her: reassuring words, hugs, back rubs, comfort. i got a head pat. i mean i was crying too but not loud heaving sobs like someone just shot my cat, so what did i expect, right?

he tells me to start wearing it at work. i say no. he tells me to quit, then. okay. four interviews, four job offers—i got every. single. job. i. interviewed. for.—and i walk away with nothing. nothing! side note, will probably be opening commissions soon, because i'm not in a hurry to take up another customer service job and deal with this again. i quit this morning. the manager was understanding even though i worked all of one day and black friday is coming up. this one's genuinely on me. i could just work with my hijaab on. but i won't. and again, not the reason i did it, but something just tells me in the area we live in, i was not getting four job offers with a hijaab on my head.

anyway, i just ask him if we're going to my aunt's house, and we are.

in the car, with just him and my sisters, i talk openly. he knows that i don't wear my scarf when i don't have to. he doesn't care. supposedly he understands (how interesting that he understands when my mother isn't there to hear it.) his advice? "just tell her you will, and then don't." oh.......so what i've been doing! lying! fantastic, brilliant, inspired. and he's very sure that a, she will believe me when i do this now, b, i'll "definitely" be married within two years, and c, that she won't stop me from hanging out with my friends or sisters.

like, in the nicest way possible, i wasn't worried about that in the slightest. i pay for my car. i'm in law school—LAW SCHOOL!—on FULL ACADEMIC SCHOLARSHIP. and i'm bragging. i am. the year's tuition could have been more or around 50,000. my parents aren't paying a dime to send me here. if i'm gonna go get lunch with my friend after class, there's quite literally nothing she can do to stop me. my sister and i just will not stop talking and if she ever tries like locking my sister in her room it's fuck around and find out at this point. what does she hold over my head? a toxic home environment. it's definitely exhausting to study for LAW SCHOOL and do LAW SCHOOL reading and then come home to utter bullshit, whether that's more yelling or the silent treatment or whatever. she also cooks for me. again, nicest way possible, i can cook for myself. i can buy my own ingredients if i need to. i can eat out. i don't need my father's money to do it either. not that i have enough saved that i could live on my own, but my father isn't kicking me out of the house, and i worked hard and saved enough that i can very much afford to make meals for myself, thanks.

where my mom has me, and where she doesn't even know she has me, is that i'm not as batshit as her. sorry to seem ableist, but she gave me most of my mental issues, so. i care about my sisters. i do not want them dealing with her and her abusive ass everyday. i care about my pussy ass father. he's already in a marriage with her and works full time, he's got enough on his plate to have to deal with her ranting his ear off about it everyday. and i care about her. can you believe that? i don't. i care about this bitchy ass woman and how she's a victim, how she had to move to a new country after marriage and how her in laws don't always treat her well. how she's schizophrenic and how terrifying that must be. so after all that, do i have any choice but to play nice? i quit my job, i'll tell her what she wants to hear. i'm not going to wear my hijaab at school but i'll still let her think i do. if she wants to watch me pray, she can.

so at the end, i am still the only one compromising. and all this because i don't want to wear the hijaab. which is supposedly as so many stupid fucking people have told me, is my choice, it's up to me! i live in a western country! but it's okay because once a man owns me i will maybe be able to make my own choices. yay!

yeah. sorry for this, it's super long—thanks to anyone who read it. i now have to get this ten page paper out, because it's definitely too late to ask for an extension and professors don't really care about minor religious complications. hope everyone has a good day, love you guys <3

#i do not have time to cry and yet i keep. crying

[dollsonmain]

Ok, so, yesterday...

A full hour after my scheduled appointment time, the doc finally came in.

The whole appointment was just some talking and planning. I wonder how much that's going to cost... (my hospital bills are now up to about $12.5k... If I can get That Guy to agree to $500/month that's already two years).

First stone removal is next Tuesday. I almost feel bad for That Guy having to take so much time off of work to drive me around. But only almost.

That's the smaller stone in the left kidney (I think I said lefty had the bigger stone before? it's the smaller one). He said that when he installed the stent he pushed the stone back out of the ureter and that, in addition to the IV antibiotics, improved function.

Left kidney WAS in minor distress when I got to Hospital A, but by the time I left Hospital B, my bloodwork showed both kidneys working exactly as they should.

The larger stone in my right kidney isn't attached to anything and is just spinning around in there. He expects that to take at least two surgeries to remove.

So that's three more surgeries.

He also said the stents will stay in for about another week after, so 4 surgeries because he didn't install stents with external strings that could be pulled out in the exam room. He has to go in AGAIN with little clamps to remove them.

Apparently doctors do that when the stents need to stay in for a while.

I am struggling with the stents. I have to have the hot bear on constantly.

He did say I can do whatever I want and the only problem I should have with the stents is more blood. Granted, as bad as I feel, I'm not going to be getting up to much. Going to focus on chores for now until all the surgeries are over, and then get started selling stuff again. Luckily I have a nice, big backlog of stuff so won't need to buy much to sell for a while.

I am dreading the expense of these surgeries.

Going to be on the phone today because I need to call and pre-something for the surgery (talk to anesthesiology about stuff??) and call financial assistance.

I need to complete my application for medicaid and then ask a bunch of questions about how to apply the fees I've already been billed and the pending other surgeries to whatever financial aid they can give me.

-

The doc also said I have a lot of calcium in my blood which might have caused the stones, and he thinks that could be a hormonal problem. I was looking it up and it's a thyroids thing, the solution to which is "surgery to remove the glands that are cancerous" like..... ok......

I mentioned it to That Guy and also said "That's something a GP would have caught." because he's not given me the opportunity for regular medical care all this time.

I'm sure that every time I'm like "You've neglected this facet of my care." in his mind he's thinking "You should have had a job and taken care of yourself all along." and that's not incorrect.

I DID have a job and amazing 100% coverage healthcare until he moved us away from my job.

-

While I was waiting for the doctor to finally come in my mom was trauma dumping on me via text.

Her mom died long before I was born. She said it was because her step-dad at the time denied her health care (she needed blood pressure meds) and beat her regularly. The day she died she was beaten.

She also said my brother had been giving her trouble all this past week threatening suicide, saying he's not eaten in 4 days and living in a tent.

I can imagine going through that and then getting a text from me like "Hey, mom, I almost died!"

I had to explain to her that That Guy wasn't denying me medical care, he's just stupid and really did think that the answer to supposed sepsis was urgent care and not the ER.

#tiffygotsick