#hey now i can cancel things on the 29th because of

[sexysapphicshopowner]

🤎 Context/AU (Alternate Universe): Alaysia (pronounced Uh-lay-see-yuh) takes care of E’Laney while she’s on her period 🥺

🤎 Alaysia Montgomery: 23, owns a bakery with her mother

🤎 E’Laney Phillips: 22, 3rd grade teacher

🤎 CW/TW: fluff, comfort, established relationship, discussion of period, slight angst, Alaysia is intersex with male reproductive organs and genitalia but she has boobs and a more feminine build (need to find the art for her but she’d be perceived as female if you saw her walking by you basically and she uses she/her pronouns and while it’s not mentioned in this fic, I have more content for this ship), just a lil cute something really, mention of sue of side (briefly)

🤎 A/N: currently on my period and found some period care fluff pieces in my drive so I’m finishing and dropping them today. As usual hope my pookie enjoys @certainlynotasimp 🫶🏾 thank you for the support love bug. (Feel free to request getting added to my tag list)

🤎Word count: 2.6k

29th November 2018

“Someday, my love, you’re going to understand why I’m here. I’m not here to love you in the way that you were never loved by yourself or others. I’m here, on my own accord, to love you as myself. So that when you stare into the mirror of my eyes, you may be able to see just how extraordinary you are.”

Alaysia

It wasn’t my first rodeo caring for a sick Laney, nor for her while on her period, but it was the first time both happened at the same time. It was probably the worst period she’d had since we’d gotten together and I wanted nothing more than to make it better. I knew there was a lot I didn’t know about periods since I’d never had one, so I can only thank my mother for being so willing and open to talk to me about it so I could get everything just right for her.

I rubbed my face as I answered my phone groggily, “Mm. hello?”

“Hey, baby, could we maybe take a rain check on that brunch? I’m not feeling so well.”

I sat up, swinging my feet to the floor, “What’s wrong?”

She dismissed my concern, “It’s nothing big, I’m just on my period. You know how I usually get sick when I’m on and it hit me kind of hard this time around. My cramps are kicking my ass and I don’t wanna throw up or pass out or something while we’re out.”

I poked my lip out, “That sounds horrible, babe. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. Mm, did I wake you up? Your morning voice is still hitting really hard.”

“Yeah but it’s fine, love. Get some rest, okay? We’ll go out when you’re feeling up to it.”

“Thanks for understanding, Laysi.”

I shook my head, “Always. I’ll talk to you later, baby.”

She yawned, “Mm, okay. Goodnight, Alaysia.”

I smiled softly, “Sleep well.”

The call ended and I called my mother, alright planning a care day for Lane in my head, “Hey, sweetheart, what’s up?”

“Hey, Mommy. I need to pick your brain about something.”

“Yes?”

I hesitated for a moment before remembering I could ask her about anything, “What does it mean when you’re on your period? Like, what do you do to feel better when you get like...cramps and nausea and stuff?”

She chuckled softly, “Who’s the girl?”

“Remember E’Laney? The girl from my old job at the grocery store?”

I could hear the smile, “You finally told her about your feelings?”

“Yeah, we’re kind of together now, it’s a long story. She just canceled a brunch date we had planned today because she’s on her period and really sick.”

“How cute. You might want to grab some pencil and paper to write this stuff down, it’s going to be a lot.”

I opened the drawer on my end table, pulled out a notebook and pen, set my phone down and placed it on speaker, “Okay, I’m ready.”

For about the next hour and a half, my mother gave me a deep dive about how painful a woman’s menstrual cycle was and what different things could help alleviate symptoms and pain. I closed my notebook as she finished, “Thank you so much. I think I’m going to pay her a visit.”

“Just make sure you keep her comfortable, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Now, tell me something.”

“Ma’am?”

“Does she know?”

“Actually...yeah, she does. I was extremely scared when it came to telling her, but she’s been the most understanding and compassionate person about it.”

“How long has it been?”

“It’s been about 8 months now. We’ve been together officially for 7 of them.”

“And when do I get to meet her?”

“Uhhhh...we’ll talk about it later.”

She clicked her tongue, “Tsk, tsk, tsk, alright. Go help your little girlfriend. Call me later, I could pass away, you never know.”

I turned my nose up, trying not to smile, “We’ve talked about that, Ma. It’s not funny.”

She giggled, “I love you to the moon and back, Laysi.”

“I love you there, back, and back around one more time.”

She blew a kiss into the phone, “I’ll talk to you later, baby. Mwah.”

“Mwah, talk to you later.”

I tossed my phone aside and headed to my bathroom to wash up quickly so I could go to the store. I picked up a lot of the things my mother told me would help with cramps and nausea and a couple of gifts I thought would cheer her up before heading to her place.

I knocked on the door as best I could with my hands full, waiting for her to open it. She pulled it open not too long after, gasping, “Lace, you didn’t.”

“Can I come in?”

She stepped to the side, shaking her head, “I can’t believe you. You didn’t have to do this.”

“It sounded really painful, so I called my mom and went to get a bunch of the things she told me might help you feel better,” I explained as she closed the door behind me.

“Really?”

I nodded, “I mean, well, yeah. I still wanted to come see you today and I figured I shouldn’t come empty handed.” She sniffled as I started setting all the bags down on her couch, wiping her face as I looked up, “Wait, no don’t cry. Did I get the wrong things? I should’ve called you, shouldn’t I?”

She waved her hand as she continued, wiping her tears with the other, “No, no, it’s fine, I just- I swear you’re too pure. I-” she cut off with a groan, holding her stomach, “Ugh, need to lay back down.”

Her comment reminded me that there was still more in the car and I snapped, rifling through the bags I had sat down, “Ah, I left the heating pad and little gifts I got you in the car. I’ll be right back, okay?”

She pouted, “Laysi, You got me gifts?”

I shrugged, “Just a few little things. I always go get you something when you’re on your period, you know this. Get comfortable, baby, I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll try.”

I kissed her forehead as she plopped onto the couch, “There’s some pain medicine in one of the Walmart bags,” I called, opening her front door as I went back to my car and grabbed the rest of the stuff. I made my way back inside, finding her curled up on the couch underneath one of the blankets I had bought, the package of blueberries open on her coffee table.

I sat everything down, beginning to go through it all and put away what I could in her meticulously put-together fridge before I left the pads and tampons on the floor next to the couch with the giant teddy bear I’d gotten her. I avoided waking her as I searched behind her couch for an outlet to plug in the heating pad.

Once it started to heat up, I crouched down and shook her lightly, “Hey, sit up for a moment.”

She stirred slightly, “Hm?”

“You want the heating pad?”

She held out her hand weakly, “Mhm.”

I shook my head, “Just sit up a bit so you can lay back down.”

She groaned as she woke up more, sitting up and holding onto my arm, “Urgh, wait. I don’t want you to go.”

I chuckled, kissing her temple, “I’m not going anywhere, Laney. What do you want from me right now?”

She moved to one end of the couch stretching and yawning, “Can you....mm, ‘scuse me, can you lay with me? Please?”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, “Please? You don’t have to go to sleep with me, but I wanna cuddle.”

I got up, sitting back where she had just been laying, “Do you want the heating pad on your stomach or your back?”

She laid between my legs, nuzzling against my chest as she settled in, “My back, if you don’t mind.”

I obliged her wishes, placing the blanket back over her and wrapping my arms around her loosely, “I’m right here, okay?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome, my love.”

She shook her head, “For all of this, I mean.”

“Again, you’re quite welcome, E’Laney. Get you some rest, I’m not going anywhere,” I assured, holding her a bit tighter.

“You promise,” she asked, holding her pinky up on the hand that rested on my chest.

I wrapped my pinky around it, pressing a kiss to her temple, followed by her nose, then her lips as I spoke, “I promise, baby.”

“What if I actually throw up on you?”

“I’ll clean you up and change into some of the clothes I have over here.”

“You won’t be mad?”

“Why would I be mad? Accidents happen, if you’re feeling a bit ill that’s a possibility but I’m never gonna make you feel bad for it. Shit happens sometimes.”

She relaxed against me, moaning softly as I massaged her scalp and rubbed her back, “Mm, I just thought about something.”

“What’s that?”

“You don’t give me butterflies.”

“And that’s a good thing?”

She nodded softly, “Mhm.”

“How come?”

She pulled my hand from her back, lacing her fingers with mine, “My mom always told me that butterflies are a sign of nervousness, or fear. I’m not nervous, nor scared about the idea or knowledge of you having feelings for me. Never have been and never will be. I feel safe when I’m with you.”

I kissed her knuckles, smiling softly, “I’m glad I can make you feel that way. You on the other hand, mm, man I tell you I wish I could just sit here and hold you forever. You make me feel human in the best way possible. I see myself in ways I never thought I would. And I thank you for it.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely.”

“I love you more than horses love hay.”

I chuckled softly, “And I love you more than flowers on a sunny day.”

She smiled, “I love you more than Van Gogh loved art.”

“And I love you more than the beating of my own heart. Now rest. We can have a stay-at home date when you wake up, okay?”

“M’kay. G’night, Laysi.”

“Goodnight, my Laney.”

two hours later...

The sound of groaning woke me up as E’Laney tossed and turned aimlessly in my arms and I frowned, not sure what was wrong, “Are you okay?”

She whined, “Hmm, it’s hot, it hurts.”

I pulled the blanket and heating pad off of her, feeling her forehead, “You’re not burning up, thankfully. Just a tad warm. Let’s get you some water and turn the air on, hm?”

She sat up, rubbing her eyes before widening them, whining again, “Oh I’m gonna kill myself.....”

“Don’t say that, love, what’s wrong?”

She pointed shakily to my lap, tears welling in her eyes, “I bled on you...”

I looked down to my lap, a bloodstain on my thigh and I waved a hand, “Clothes can be washed, Lane. Let’s get you a bath run, okay?”

She sniffled, still rubbing her face as she shook her head, “I’m really sorry, Laysi. I didn’t think about that before I asked you to cuddle with me. I’m sorry…”

I shook my head, holding my hands out for her, “It comes with the territory, love. As I said earlier, accidents happen. C’mon.”

I let her sit on the bathroom counter, reassuring her that things were alright as I drew her a bath. I stood between her legs, kissing the back of her hands, “You okay?”

She shook her head, “No, I feel terrible.”

“Well, how about this? You stay in here and take a bath and I’ll go make you something to eat and we can go back to cuddling. We can watch a movie or something, whatever you want.”

“Why are you doing all of this, Lace? I didn’t wanna be a bother today.”

I shook my head, running my thumbs over the back of her knuckles, “You’re not bothering me at all, baby. I told you I specifically called my mom so I could come take care of you. Everyone needs a caretaker when they’re sick and I still wanted to see you today, brunch date or not.”

She frowned, “But I’m all gross and whiny...and fucking, I bled on you and I just-,” her lip quivered as she held back more tears- “I literally do not deserve you...”

“You’re right, you deserve more than me. So, what do you say? We can have our own little day, just the two of us,” I offered, pressing more kisses to her knuckles and hands.

“I would love to,” she whispered, tears finally spilling over.

I wiped them from her cheeks, kissing her forehead, “I’m gonna get you some more water and pain meds to take when you get out of your bath, okay?”

She squeezed my hands, pulling me back in, “Wait.”

“Yes?” She held out her arms and I wrapped mine around her, rubbing her back slowly, “You’ll be okay, baby, I promise. I love you, alright? And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know, it’s just I feel like shit, and I don’t wanna ask you for too much, this is already so-”

“Laney?”

She hiccupped softly, huffing as she squeezed me tighter, “Yes?”

I pulled away so she could look at me, holding her face in my hands, “I love you, okay? That’s all that matters. You can have whatever you want from me. If you ask me to wrangle the stars for you, I’m gonna do my damn best to make it happen. Now breathe for me, baby.”

She took a deep breath, leaning into my hands further, “I love you, Alaysia.”

I kissed her nose, “I love you more, now relax. Take your time, get in your bath and I’ll be in the kitchen, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed, “But you have to kiss me first.”

I chuckled, kissing her lips softly, “There’s my girl. I’ll come check in on you in a bit, alright?”

“Kay.”

E’Laney

God am I thankful to have such an attentive girlfriend as Alaysia. I never had to worry about feeling shitty while on my period after that day. Before, I’d always asked her to just cuddle with me, maybe go get me some pain meds, but not only did she do research but stuck with me the whole week even when I pushed her away. I love her for putting up with me and my emotions all the time.

I woke up to her shaking my shoulder, the water lightly splashing around me as she did, whispering, “Hey, wake up for me, baby. You wanna get out of there?”

I shook my head, pulling my knees to my chest, “Mh-mh, I’m comfortable.”

She laughed softly, smiling, “While I’m glad you seem to be feeling a little better, we’ve gotta get some food into you. C’mon, I grabbed you something comfortable to put on and you’ve got a box of pads and tampons on the counter. I don’t know which you use so I got both.”

I poked my lip out, “You’re too incredibly thoughtful. Can you help me out of here?”

She stood back, holding her hands out for me to grab, pulling me to my feet. She grabbed the towel she’d pulled out as I unplugged the drain, holding it up for me to step into, “So I made a period snack friendly charcuterie board, you’ve got some tea, and I got a list of your favorite movies from Caira.”

I couldn’t help but smile up at her as she wrapped the towel around me, securing it at the front, “Have I told you that I love you today?”

“Why yes, you have, but it never hurts to say it again,” she joked.

I grabbed her hand as she finished, “Hey.”

“Yes?”

“I really do love you, Lace. Like, with all of me.”

“I know, and I love you more.”

“You’d really wrangle the stars for me,” I asked.

“Laney, if I could, I would gather entire galaxies for you.”

I ran my thumb over the back of her hand, “Get out before I ask you to marry me. Corny fucker.”

She chuckled, pulling me in to kiss me softly before she left, “Yet, you love me still. And trust me, I’ll be the one doing the asking when the time comes.”

🤎©️ All work belongs to sexysapphicshopowner. Do not use or repost my content in any way without my consent or permission. Thank you! 🤎

🤎 Taglist 🤎:

@certainlmarseilleotasimp @trafalgardvivi

#💅🏾💋 paramour parlor 💋💅🏾 #☕️🤎 winter collection 🤎☕️ #©️ sexysapphicshopowner llc #wlw and nblw only #wlw ship #fluff #wlw #period care #caregiver #slight angst #soft lesbians #lesbian romance #I’m literally the biggest baby when on my period and this is extremely self indulgent #oc x oc ship #Spotify #wlw romance #useless lesbians #minors do not interact #men dont interact

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Would you believe that this blog is a year old today? To celebrate, I'm sharing some of my favorite quotes on this blog from over the last year! Was going to do a Top 10 Favs list like I did the Top 10 Posts for New Year's, but I quickly discovered that I like a lot of these so much, it's really hard to narrow it down! I didn't even pick from the whole year, because by the time I got to yesterday, or even the first, I'd have had like fifty. And that'd be ridiculous. So please enjoy these highlights. 20 quotes for January 20th!

20.

A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Morrowind and my cousin, Nerevar was um, he was pecked to death by a flock of cliffracers and um, we all took it really hard.

Jolinar Aren, to Brynjolf, probably

(January 24th, 2021)

19.

Jolinar: Hey Brynjolf, I need to talk to you.

Brynjolf, doing absolutely nothing: Not now lass, I'm busy.

Tonilia: Hey Brynjolf, do you have a minute?

Brynjolf, still doing nothing: Yeah, what do you need?

Jolinar:

Jolinar: COME ON!

(January 29th, 2021)

18.

Alduin: So you've finally arrived.

Alduin:

Alduin: What are you wearing?

Leara Rose-blade: My lizard skinning outfit, you oversized gecko.

(February 1st, 2021)

17.

Leara Rose-blade: I will help you.

Leara: *places her hands on Ulfric Stormcloak's*

Ulfric: By Talos!

Leara: . . . ?

Ulfric: Your hands are so small!

Leara: Excuse me?

Ulfric, holding her hands: You have baby hands.

Leara: What? No I don't!

Ulfric: They're so tiny!

Leara: Stop it!

Ulfric: They're so adorable!

Leara: Okay, this alliance is off.

(February 15th, 2021)

16.

Lucien Lachance: Time for bed.

Mathieu Bellamont, hiding under the bed: My Dead Mom says that I can stay up as long as I want, and you need to die.

Lucien:

Lucien: What in Sithis' name, Dead Mom—?

(February 16th, 2021)

15.

Neloth: I’m never wrong.

Neloth: I thought I was wrong once . . .

Neloth: But I was wrong.

(March 3rd, 2021)

14.

Nerevar Indoril at a meeting of the First Council: All right, listen up, you little fetchers.

Nerevar: Not you, Voryn. You're an angel and we're glad you're here.

(March 13th, 2021)

13.

Alvivecia, looking up at Baar Dau: That’s a nice rock.

Vivec: Sheogorath gave it to me.

Sheo!Oromis: I threw it at you.

Vivec: He’s very sweet.

(March 16th, 2021)

12.

Ulfric Stormcloak: Nobody panic, but I've lost my wife.

Jorleif: Wha—? How do you lose a wife?

Ralof: You forget to cherish her.

(March 22nd, 2021)

11.

Neloth, before sending Nixiel and Talvas anywhere: Either of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

(March 25th, 2021)

10.

Nixiel Veres: I was in the sea!

Talvas Fathryon: You were in the sea?

Nixiel: Yeah.

Talvas: Why!?

Nixiel: I had to question the dreugh!

(March 29th, 2021)

9.

Alvivecia: You need to stop doing weird things. Going out might help.

Aryon: I went into the Grazelands yesterday.

Alvivecia: There you go! I hope you got something from that.

Aryon: I did.

Aryon: *opens his robes to reveal a scrib*

Aryon: This scrib.

(April 3rd, 2021)

8.

Elisif the Fair: The Burning of King Olaf is cancelled.

Viarmo: You can't cancel a holiday.

Elisif: Keep that up and you'll lose the New Life Festival too.

Viarmo: What does that even mean?

Elisif: Falk, take the New Life Festival away from Viarmo.

(April 5th, 2021)

7.

Master Aryon, reading the paper: Some fetcher tried to fight a dreugh at the aquarium.

Alvivecia, covered in ink: Maybe the dreugh was being a n'wah.

(April 8th, 2021)

6.

Some of you never had to be the “good child” in hopes of lessening your parents problems which ultimately leads to buried feelings, inability to express emotions, wanting to please everyone, inability to handle the tiniest bit of confrontation and criticism, and it really shows.  

Oromis, probably, right before going to the Shivering Isles

(April 13th, 2021)

5.

Delvin Mallory, done AF: Listener, you and your family do not have “chaotic energy”, you are a bunch of young adults to middle-aged adults with mild boundary issues.

(April 13th, 2021)

4.

Martin, when the Hero of Kvatch finds him in the Chapel of Akatosh: I'm starting to think that everything is . . . meaningless. I mean, you're welcome to come to your own conclusions, but that's just where I'm at.

(April 29th, 2021)

3.

Alvivecia: Today I learned that "only" twenty people have been boiled alive in Red Mountain.

Dagoth Ur: But with your help, we can change that. For just a small monthly donation, you can help us sacrifice an outlander to old Dagoth-Ur every single day.

(May 2nd, 2021)

2.

Paarthurnax, reading his birthday card outloud: Happy Birthday Grandpa, it's better to be over the hill then buried under it. From, Odahviing and Leara.

Leara, to Odahviing: *annoyed* All you had to do was buy the card.

(May 5th, 2021)

1.

Miraak: In twenty years I can guarantee that I will be the Dragonborn's second husband.

Leara Rose-blade: What happened to my first husband?

Miraak: Nothing you can prove.

(May 14th, 2021)

#if this seems leara and morrowind centric that's because that's the wavelength my brain opperates on: dragonborn and dunmer #oc: jolinar aren #oc: leara roseblade #oc: alvivecia sithola #oc: nixiel veres #oc: oromis #nerevarine #Sheogorath #last dragonborn #dovahkiin #thieves guild #dark brotherhood #lucien lachance #brynjolf #neloth #master aryon #ulfric stormcloak #the elder scrolls #tes #the elder scrolls iii: morrowind #the elder scrolls v: skyrim #the elder scrolls iv: oblivion #morrowind #skyrim #incorrect elder scrolls #incorrect oblivion quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect skyrim quotes #incorrect morrowind quotes #oblivion

[kravkalackin]

hi omg i started watching infinity train because of you and i watched the entire thing in one sitting and stayed up until like 4:30 am but WOW IT WAS SO GOOD I CANT BELIEVE I WAS SLEEPING ON IT UNTIL NOW!!! thank you for being the reason i watched it !!!!!

this was the exact outcome i was hoping for so i am glad 

legit tho it’s such a good show, i remember seeing it around a lot a long time ago, hell I even watched the pilot when it had first come out and people were hyping that up, but i never got around to actually watching the show and i’m so glad i did now

if anyone else is at all interested in this show the best non-spoiler pitch i can give is it's an anthology series about a magitech extra-dimensional train that picks up people with Problems and lets them figure out the rest. Each season tackles both a different emotional theme as well as a literary genre (S1: change and mystery, S2: identity and adventure, S3: empathy and tragedy, and S4: communication and comedy)

despite being an anthology series, there is a very linear story that is being told, with characters growing and appearing from season to season. A character from an episode of season 1 might end up as the main character for season 2, and such. it's wonderful because you can think 'man, that was such a cool character and concept! it's a shame it only got played around with for one or two episodes' and then boom, you got a whole season based on that really cool thing

it's only on HBO max currently, but if you're in the US and have some sort of cable/internet bundle you might actually have HBO max and not even realize it. That's what happened with us, it comes bundled with a lot of stuff, so see if you already have the thing, and if not hey there's always free trials. The episodes are really short and even with the 4th season now you can binge it all in a day if you're dedicated

also heeey the show is currently fighting to be renewed. it was canceled after it's 4th season but the creator has 8 planned, season 5 was already written when it was canceled, and it could really use all the support it could get. there's a twitter thing happening on the 29th so now's a really good time to watch!

also i'm going to keep writing fics for this show and season two is the best season and lives in my mind rent free now. so yeah please watch the show because i need more content

#Anonymous #yay questions #infinity train #legit watch this show #it deserves the world #i could go into more reasons why it's so great #and i will if anyone wants a slightly more spoiler explanation #but one of the best parts of season 1 is that mystery #and one of the best parts of watching the whole thing is realizing *oh shit we're following THEM* #when you start a new season #this got long but i've been meaning to make a post like this #dangling an angry NB protagonist who hates cops in front of yall #plaaay with me in this spaaace

[coconutheadfriend]

Fall of the sky

Todoroki Shoto x Reader

Genre: Romance I guess?

Warnings: Angst, Implied smut, fluff? (There will be smut eventually) 

Word count: 2500+

Summary:

Ah Arkridge city of laughter and full of rich, cocky assholes. Oh, and me, my name is (Y/N) and this is my story about the fall of the sky. It’s 2034 and the government declares the ground below us is inhabitable, broken, and destroyed. So people build a city, a sanctuary for the human race to keep on living. Although the one thing they chose to do wasn’t to send us to space no, it was to build a city. No normal city though, it flew. Like a plane, but looked way more magical than the human mind could ever imagine. Towering buildings and cute little homes waiting to be inhabited. Although there was a dark side to this solution, poor people were rarely seen on this island, but why may you ask? That will play a big part in my story and how I made the sky fall. I am (y/n) (l/n) and this is my story on how I made the sky fall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up to the sound of my alarm going off. I hit it so it turns off, the robotic voice speaks through the speaking. “Miss (y/n), it's time to get up and ready for the ball” you shot your head up and your hair goes all over your face. You huff pushing it out of your face. “Wait, that's today?” you question cocking your head to the side. “August 29th 3093” You smile“You have an appointment with the hairdressers and makeup artist today. Should I message them and say you're still coming?” the robotic voice questions. You shove the blankets off you and get up to start dancing and jumping around. “Uhm miss your heart rate has gone up substantially in the past few seconds is their reason to call an ambulance?” she asks and you stop your movements and laugh. “Oh sorry Nebula, I'm fine and yes I will still be at both of those appointments.” You straighten yourself out, you still have a stupid smile on your face but who can blame you? You were going to see Bakugou today at the ball. The love of your life was going to be there and you couldn't be anymore happier.

You walk into your bathroom and see how messed up your hair is spread out all over the place. Your eyes widen and you grab your brush quickly taking the knots out of your hair and brushing it down. You walk out of the bathroom and quickly get dressed into a tank top and some sweats. You hear the door downstairs open and close. You walk out of the room to see who has just come in. Looking over the railing to see Bakugou. “Babe!” You shout and run down the stairs almost falling as you do so. You wrap your arms around him pulling away only to kiss him. “Morning babe,” He says in his gruff voice. “You're coming tonight right?” you ask pulling away as you do so. “Wouldn't miss it for the world Babe” You untangle from him and make your way to the kitchen. “Did you eat before you came here, Suki?” You say to him. “Yeah I did but I want something else to eat” He smirks and traps you between the counters. He kisses you harshly and you pull away. “Babe, I already told you it's too early for us to be doing that stuff” You shrug and try to weave between his arms. “But baby~ We’ve been dating for so long, three months I think?” He thinks about it.

You steal a surprise kiss from him. “Yeah, I guess we've been dating for a while but I just want to make sure I lose it too,” You say turning around and opening your fridge grabbing some milk. He sighs “If I wasn’t the one I would’ve left long ago” He grumbles while you fetch some cereal pouring it in the bowl. You grab the milk and sit down eating your cereal. “Look, I know you're not happy about this situation, but I'm not ready and you said you’d respect that,” you say mouth half full of cereal. He makes his way towards you and takes a seat next to you. “Plus I already offered to please you but you weren’t interested so I don’t know what you want.” You shrug and eat more cereal. He comes close to your ear and whispers, “I want you bent overlooking all prett-” You start laughing “Me, bent over, for you?” You point your spoon at yourself. “God Bakugou, you are one horny bastard.” You finish your cereal and drink the milk. You put the bowl back down. Milk dripping from your mouth, he brings up his thumb to your mouth wiping it. You stare at him with wide eyes and feel your face get hot. Blush attacking your face and you get up rushing over to the sink turning the water on rinsing the bowl out. “Bakugou when I can trust you fully and know you want to be with me for real and not just because of my body, then we can do whatever you want. But I’m just not ready.” You sigh “So I have an appointment in about an hour so if you're still here while I’m at my appointment. Could you lock the door before you leave thanks, babe.” You say as you rush out of the house and into your car. You start it and back out of the driveway. Making your way to the hairdressers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You arrive at the hairdressers and get out of your car. Grabbing your keys from your pocket you lock the doors. You walk up to the familiar doors of the hair business. You open the doors and walk up to the receptionist's desk and your hairdresser comes up. “Oh hey (y/n) just take a seat over there and I'll be with you in a second.” She smiles softly and you smile back. Walking over to the seat she pointed to. You saw her disappear into the back but to return with some new shampoo and towels. She walks over to your seat and props the items she was holding up on a shelf and grabs a cover to put around you. “So are you excited for the ball tonight? I heard it's the biggest one the city has thrown.” She smiles brightly “Of course! When have you ever seen me not at a ball” You smile back and she begins to do your hair giving it a trim before asking what you want to be done. “I was kind of thinking like a bun and then some braids around it? Will I have enough hair” You laugh and she nods fiddling with your hair. “Girl, you have hair for days I don't know what you mean” She giggles softly at your comment. She starts doing your hair wetting it slightly. “So I heard that some prince is going to be there. He's supposedly looking for a wife” You frown at the comment. “Yeah I heard about that, but you know already I have Bakugou. Plus it's not like I could catch a prince's attention” You sigh realizing Bakugou isn’t gonna let you around any other man this evening. “Yeah I know but you're so beautiful if anybody could do it, it would be you (y/n).” You laugh at her comment and shake your head slightly. “Me, no, how about you? You’re so pretty any guy would be lucky to have you.” You smile at her.

“Ok! How does that look?” She asked as she finished my hair. “Great! Also, could you maybe do my makeup here I don’t want to drive across town” You pout and bring out your phone canceling the appointment? “Yeah, sure what kind of look are you going for?” You think back to your dress and it's a deep blue with white stars all along with it. “Hm, so it should match my dress so how about a navy blue look with little specks of white glitter” You suggest and she nods going into the back room. She comes back with some makeup and brushes. She starts doing your makeup and before long it's done. You open your eyes and smile. “Wow, it looks amazing, thank you” You get up from the chair and grab your purse. You hold your wrist out and she scans it. “Have a great day don’t forget to book an appointment a week before you plan on coming.” She smiles and bows as you walk out of the shop. You check the time on your phone and realize you only have two hours to get ready.

You quickly drive home and when you arrive you check the time. “Damn I only have an hour and a half to get ready.” You sigh rushing into the house and unlocking it signaling that Bakugou had left, probably to get ready as well. You quickly run up the stairs to see the beautiful gown is displayed on the mannequin you had in the room.

It was a deep ocean blue that faded into a white on the bottom. It had started displayed all across it and on the top part it curved down right above your belly button. Covering just the right amount of breast but enough to show off how nice they looked. Bakugou wouldn’t be happy as the back was very flashy as well. You quickly put on the big dress and it took a while. You fix your hair and right after you're done you hear someone honk outside your house. Must be the limo you thought. You grab the black heels you were going to wear for the night and rush down the stairs. You leave your house and see the limo. You lock the doors and rush to the limo jumping inside making sure to grab all of your dress and not to get it caught in the door of the car. You realized you forgot your mask at home but remembered it was around your neck. You slipped it one when putting on the dress.

After about half an hour of driving, you ended up arriving at a big castle-like mansion. “Thanks!” You say to the driver and hop out of the car putting your mask on. You make your way to the entrance and flashes start going off. People were taking pictures of you so you started to pose. After a few minutes, you walk into the big palace and see everyone either talking or dancing. Some people looked up at you while some ignored you. You saw someone with green flowy hair offer a hand out to you. You take it and smile walking down the stairs with him. Bakugou wouldn’t be too mad right? It's just one dance. He places his hand in yours and one on your waist. You both started dancing to the instrumental music playing. “I haven’t seen you around here before, are you now?” You had curiosity getting the better of you. “Wouldn’t you like to know Doll.” He smirks at you and spins you around. “Yes I guess you could say that I’m new” He spins you around again and stops you bringing you close to his face. But before he can kiss you someone pulls you away from him bringing you to his chest. The scent was familiar, it was Bakugou. “Move along extra she's mine” You hear him say to the green-haired boy. “Calm down man we were just dancing” The green boy raised his hands like he was innocent. “Yeah what dancing do you mean because I think you mean you trying to get your lips to dance across hers” He groans and pulls you away with him to the center of the ballroom. He grabs your waist and starts dancing. You look into his crimson red eyes and smile blushing softly. “I’m sorry baby he offered to dance I di-” He cuts you off with a kiss and you pull back blushing even harder. “Uhm can we go get some fresh air.” He nods wrapping his arm around your waist. You make your way to the garden where you could see the edge of the city. You both walk around the garden and soon make it to the edge where you look down and see clouds. “Bakugou, I have something to tell you.” You fiddle with your fingers and look up at him. “I don’t think this is going to work out-” He groans and starts laughing. “Fuck- I’m so glad now I can get rid of you” He has an evil grin on his face. “Wh-what do you mean Bakugou?” Your eyes widen as you step away from the edge but he grabs you. “God, do you know how hard it is for me to be around you all the time. ‘Bakubaby’ really come up with something less annoying please” He rolls his eyes and tears prick your eyes. “I just wanted to hit it with the dip” He starts laughing and you struggle to get out of his grip. He brings your body closer to the edge of the city. “God, I've been wanting to do this for so long, a quick and easy way out and if people come looking for you I can just say you fell off the edge. Even better I can say it right after I throw you off. I’ll start crying and hyperventilating screaming. Saying ‘oh shit she fell’” He started imitating what he’ll do once you're plummeting to your death. “Please- no- don't please” You plead with him. He lightens his grip on you but just as you thought you got through to him he throws you off and you scream.

And there you were, falling. Watching what it felt like slow-mo. He had a devilish smile on his face and you had tears running down your face. You felt the wind flow through your hair and your dress move all around. It was kind of peaceful if you think about it. The sun was setting letting a pink tint fall onto them. But in reality, this was the scariest moment in your life “Fuck” You say right before you fall into some trees and blackout.

(Next chapter sneak peek)

You open your eyes slightly surrounded by trees. You see a blurry figure hovering over you. Hair tinted white and red “You lucky son of a bitch” He says in shock as you get picked up. You moan and he looks down at you while he's carrying you. “I know it hurts but I’ll make it go away” and with that, you close your eyes.

An: This is my first time writing in like two years so if it's not up to your standards I'm sorry. But if you wanna be tagged in the next part then comment! Also if you have some suggestions on how I can improve please tell me I'm always open to criticism

Tag list:

@warriorsofficial

#bnha #bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #midoria #midoriya izuku #izuku #ball #futuristic #mha #todoroki #todoroki x you #todoroki x reader #todoroki shōto #todo #bnha shoto todoroki #sci-fi #city #death #care taker #hero academia #x reader #this took way too long

[syms-things-5]

Clear The Area - Chapter Fourteen

Previous Chapter HERE

Warnings: Language, NSFW Language

Tags: @jennmurawski13 @kelbabyblue

Note: Apologies, this is a repost from yesterday for reasons I won’t go into now. i hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Fourteen

Sarah jostled with the mail as she entered their building, trying hard not to knock over the newest fresh plant currently adorning the entrance. They usually took it in turns to handle the post and whatever parcels the Supervisor had signed for that day but she was starting to feel a little short-changed as Shanna had consistently more post coming her way these days. Sarah realised she needed to get out more. Carting everything up the stairs was starting to become its own workout. Today’s treasures involved two Nasty Gal packages, a package from Pottery Barn, a box from Amazon, and what appeared to be a free sample of a Louis Vuitton fragrance. Sarah might just keep that last one to herself.

Jocelyn had sent another care package of sorts her way but it only served to remind Sarah that she had not called her folks in over a week. Ever since the accident, Jocelyn had been so consumed with worry that she had taken to sending Sarah articles ripped form magazines and gift cards for relaxation therapies. Despite Sarah’s many protests to the contrary, Jocelyn was sure Sarah was struggling with some form of undiagnosed PTSD. She’d read about it in a magazine. “If affects upwards of half a million American every year, honey.”

After successfully dodging the neighbour’s schnauzer, she eventually reached their floor and was just about to turn her key in the lock when the door swung wide open. Before she had time to react, she was brought face to face with a stressed-out Shanna, hair dripping wet from a shower. Not her favourite Shanna it had to be said. Not even in the Top Ten.

She grabbed Sarah by both shoulders. “I don’t know what I’m going to wear, Sarah! I’ve got less than an hour!”

“And hello to you, too!” Sarah smiled broadly, almost comically so, before Shanna lowered her head in embarrassment and moved out of the way so Sarah could physically get into her own home. She held the packages up. “Maybe there is something in here?”

Shanna shook her head. “No, they’re more summery. More formal.” She’d started fluttering around Sarah in a panic. “Do you still have that leather midi skirt? Do you think I could fit into it?”

“Uhh yeh it’s in the back of my closet somewhere.” she remembered. “Might be a bit warm, though? What are you gonna wear with it?”

“Well it’s a punky kind of bar, think it has live music and stuff so I thought maybe that Rolling Stones t-shirt and the maroon boots? Keep my hair down and casual?”

“So basically all of my clothes?” Sarah retorted. Shanna pressed her hands together in prayer and gave her the best pitiful smile she could manage, one she knew Sarah couldn’t resist. Shanna seemed to genuinely like this guy and if this guy was as charming and as smart as she told her he was, Sarah was sure she would like him, too. Hell, he’d be best friends with Scott and Chris in no time so long as he enjoyed football, Sam Adams, and didn’t put points on Shanna’s licence.

“Give me five minutes and I’ll see what I can pull together. Do you wanna borrow that heart necklace of mine? If you’re wearing your hair down, it’s probably best you avoid wearing earrings unless you want me to cut you out of them again.” Sarah shouted as she walked into her room unaware that Shanna had followed her closely behind.

“Oh god I hadn’t even thought that far. You know what, I might just cancel. This is just too much right now and I’m not even sure if he really likes me as anything more than a friend.” She feigned a dramatic flop onto Sarah’s bed, one arm landing across her forehead. Sarah delved through her closet to locate the desired items. If Shanna was threatening to cancel the date already, it must be serious.

“How many of you are going to this club?” Sarah asked, emerging from the closet doorway.

“Don’t know. Think three or four from my department and another couple from his?” she responded, hopelessness evident in her voice. Shanna never did well with vagueness where guys were concerned; everything had to be black and white with her.

“Come on, you’ve still got time.” Sarah encouraged as she carried some clothes and a couple of pairs of boots towards the bed. “Dry your hair and we’ll figure this out, OK?”

“Have I told you how much I love you lately?” Shanna pouted and Sarah tried to shrug off the pit growing in her stomach from her words. Shanna used every ounce of energy she could muster to get up and drag herself back into the bathroom leaving Sarah shaking her head.

It was only a rare occasion when Shanna took less time getting ready in the bathroom. Sarah had fond memories of shouting through the door back when they were at college and deciding to move in together required a complete 180 degree shift in her expectations. Still, in less than half an hour, here she emerged fully dressed, primer and foundation applied, and hair dried accordingly. It was a miracle of epic proportions and if she hadn’t shoved some false eyelashes into Sarah’s hand, Sarah would have snapped a photograph to send to the family as evidence that their little girl was growing up.

Thanks to her professional, steady hand, Sarah was always the eyelash-fixer among their group. While fixing a couple of lashes to the corners of her eyes, Sarah’s phone buzzed. It buzzed a couple more times in quick succession and she would have managed to ignore it had it not been for Shanna’a roving eye.

“Looks like someone wants you.” she murmured, trying her hardest not to move as Sarah held the glued lash in place with some tweezers.

“It’ll just be Audrey probably.” Sarah responded in no rush to check for herself, keeping a firm hold on what she was doing.

Shanna tried glancing to her side one more time to catch who it was but couldn’t quite make it out. It buzzed again. “I’d hate for you to miss out on a date with Greg on account of helping piece my pathetic love life together. Oooh maybe we could double-date!”

Shanna’s exclaim nearly caused Sarah to lose her grip on the tweezers but a sharp intake of breath convinced Shanna to give up the inquisition. “Sorry. Sorry.” she held her hands up as an apology before feeling Sarah’s hands relax as she moved across to the other eye.

Sarah was pleased to see Shanna eventually leave their apartment. Not because she wanted the peace particularly but just because it was nice to see her get excited over a guy that wasn’t Ben. She looked gorgeous, too. Sarah was quite proud of her work. If it wasn’t to be a proper date, it definitely would be after tonight. Robbie would be an absolute fool to miss out.

It was only when she slumped dow onto the couch and spent the next hour or so flicking through television channels that she remembered her phone had buzzed earlier on. She reluctantly peeled herself off the sofa and retrieved it from where it had originally landed on her bedside table. Honestly, it was like Shanna had taught her nothing.

From just two messages, Chris had attempted some mild flirtation with her before asking her if she knew what in God’s Name Penhaligon’s was.

Sarah 8.19pm: Perfume I think. Pretty old school brand. Why?

Chris 8.23pm: Mom wants it for her birthday. Never heard of it before. Scott thought it might be some kind of scarf??

She googled the name to make sure. Last thing she wanted was to end up ruining Lisa’s birthday celebrations with a present she absolutely did not want. Her birthday was something she took with increasing seriousness as each year passed by and her children and grandchildren grew older in front of her eyes. There was always a party of sorts, a massive cake, perhaps a theme, and a “suggestion list” for possible gifts. Well, they say “suggestion” but rarely did anyone dare deviate from “the list”. Sarah hadn’t yet considered buying a present but if Chris was already looking, she would no doubt need to catch up.

Sarah 8.34pm: Yep, pretty certain it’s a perfume. Pretty pricey. Good shout.

Sarah started scanning through her phone as another couple of messages caught her eye, some she had accidentally missed from earlier in the day. One from Audrey. One from Greg that she was not expecting.

Greg 7.02pm: Great news! 29th is set up. All you need to do is say the word! Don’t know how long I can hold the spot open so let me know as soon as you can. Have a great evening x

It took her a moment to register what he was talking about.

Chris 8.37pm: Cool THX What are you wearing??

Sarah stared down at the phone. She felt light-headed. There was far too much going on for this time of the day. She wiped at her forehead with her sweater sleeve and took a deep breath.

Sarah 8.41pm: You wouldn’t be interested lol

Chris 8.42pm: try me..........

He had a surprising habit these days of cheering her up.

Sarah 8.46pm: Nah I look a mess. Get out while you can.

Her phone started ringing almost as soon as she’d pressed ‘send’, Chris’ name flashing on her screen. She contemplated not answering now that her mood had taken a turn but she knew he would work out something was wrong and immediately dive over.

“Hey,” she answered, trying for a jovial tone but coming up just south of delirious.

“Hey you,” he smiled through the phone, happy to hear her voice. “In all the years I have known you, Bernette, not once would I describe you as looking like a mess.”

She laughed down the line. She made the right decision.

“...you are far too cute to ever be a mess. Do you know that? Like, I can already picture you with your sweats on, your hair tied up, soft skin...” he trailed off with a low sigh that she was sure was filthier than he intended it to be. “Man, that really does something to me.”

“You really know how to charm a girl. Have you figured this Penhaligon’s thing out yet? Was I right?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

She laughed again. “Sorry. Sorry. I’m not great with flirting over the phone. You should know that by now.”

“Then do it with me in person.” he proposed as if it was the easiest solution in the world. As if she wasn’t going to be distracted with thoughts of work and studies enough to not focus on him entirely. And he didn’t deserve to be second best.

It would have been all too easy to allow him to come over. Forget about overthinking things again. There truly was no one better at making her feel good about herself these days. Like, honest, through-the-bone good about herself, whatever that entailed. Goosebumps raised on her skin at the thought.

“I’m pretty whacked to be honest and...”

“What’s going on? Are you feeling alright?” he asked, concern evident in his tone. Whatever he had been pottering about with in the background had stopped all of a sudden.

“Yes! Yeh, I’m fine. Just...I dunno, boring. Plus, it’s Friday night! You should be out with the guys or whatever. Shan said Scott is having issues with Zach again. Is he OK?”

He laughed at her second lame attempt to deflect. He knew something was going on and he knew she knew he wouldn’t give up easily.

“Is Shanna there?” he asked.

“No, she went out with some friends.”

“So why don’t you ask me to come over and I’ll make you feel better than fine?”

She was lucky she was sat down or that her legs were crossed underneath her as she lounged on the couch, her back against the arm rest. His tone was causing her to feel things she shouldn’t be focussing on. What must it feel like to always be confident of your effect on people?

“Do you wanna come over?” she asked, treading lightly, not entirely anxious should he decline.

“I’ll be there in twenty.” He ended the call almost as abruptly as he had dialled it.

She remained where she sat for a moment, Greg’s text message still lighting up her screen. She wasn’t expecting for things to suddenly be so easy for her and it was strange how opening herself up to more possibilities could cause her to feel so immobile.

She would need to move at some point and as a helpless and as confused as she now felt, she knew it would look far too obvious to Chris if she bid to make herself up. She also didn’t really have the energy to do so. Lord, Chris really should have taken the out when he had the chance.

“Have I just walked into a teenage girl’s bedroom?” Chris asked, taking a look around as he entered the apartment not long afterwards. He clearly found the scene amusing although Sarah couldn’t under stand why. It was partly Shanna’s home after all. He should be used to girly mess. “What’s going on?”

“Shan has a date. I was helping her to get ready.” Sarah replied, humourously holding up the hairdryer like a trophy before dumping it back in her bedroom. “Sort of, actually. She doesn’t quite know if it’s a date date or a friend date.”

“I was told those didn’t exist.” Chris smirked, reaching for a bottle of water from her fridge.

“Well, she’s dressed up for one. Looks gorgeous.”

“I think you look gorgeous.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Chris, you don’t need to make any more effort, OK? You’re already in the apartment.”

“I think it bears repeating is all.”

He swallowed half the bottle of water before fixing her with a semi-quizzical stare. He tried to figure out what was going on as he watched her potter around the kitchen table, swiping something away into a cupboard, phone grasped in her hand. “What’s going on? You sounded weird on the phone and now you look like it as well.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” she answered far too quickly and tried to shrug it off but his body language told her he wasn’t buying it. She wasn’t sure what was bothering her more in this moment; him knowing her too well, or that he knew he knew her too well.

“OK, alright, well, it’s Friday night and I’m happy just hanging out and doing whatever but you can also talk to me as well. I’m not a monster.”

“It was her turn to look back at him, unsure of her next move or indeed his. she wondered if he was very likely regretting his decision to meet her now when twenty minutes in the opposite direction would take him to one of his favourite downtown dive bars. Instead, he rested against the side of the kitchen doorway, arms folded, a softness still present in his facial expressions. He seemed hesitant of what to say and she didn’t like the slight awkward air surrounding them. She didn’t want to venture into work-territory either.

“Do you want me to go, Sarah?”

She looked back up at him after a short spell spent staring down at her feet. “No. I don’t want you to leave. I’m just...there’s something...” she paused to re-evaluate her words. “You know what, it’s find. It’s nothing major. Of course I’m glad you’re here now.”

He pushed himself off from the counter and moved towards her, accepting of the greeting smile now covering her face, the bottle of water still in his grip. “Cool. Shall I follow your lead then, or...?”

“Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” she suggested, more casually than he would have liked. She didn’t know what to say to him now that all of her brain space was taken up with possibilities and wanting to call Audrey with the news. Chris hadn’t factored in watching a film but she seemed like she wanted a little peace and quiet and he had pretty much dived into the apartment as soon as she gave him the green light, eager as he was to see her without threat of Shanna walking in at any point.

“Movie sounds good.” He bobbed his head in agreement, content in their surroundings for now.

*

At some point towards the end of Searching, Chris quietly excused himself to go to the bathroom. Realising something was about to happen and not wanting to have to explain it to him after he returned, Sarah put the film on pause and headed into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She had held him at an arm’s length for most of the night, the couch seeming longer somehow, but was now feeling a slight chill despite the thick sweater reaching midway down her thighs. He would no doubt have been cosy to snuggle up to but she was still pondering Greg’s message and couldn’t concentrate on much else.

Her demeanour hadn’t gone unnoticed by Chris. A couple of times he caught the glare from her phone screen illuminating her face from below and wondered who had gotten her attention this evening. He stopped himself from making an obvious joke and was disappointed that she hadn’t noticed him glance across at her several times during the movie. He wasn’t much interested in watching it. Telling the truth, he’d seen it via a DVD screener Matt had sent him months earlier but she’d mentioned she was looking forward to watching it and in all honesty, he had figured they would curl up together and he would have still gotten something out of it.

“Chris? Do you want a cup of tea?” she hollered from the kitchen doorway. No response for what seemed to be a long, long minute. She switched the kettle off and began pouring him one anyway. She could always drink two if he didn’t want it.

“Chris?” she shouted again.

She walked into the lounge to place the cups down and clocked the bathroom door ajar and seemingly empty. Maybe he left without telling her. In all fairness, she wouldn’t have been surprised or annoyed. She’d barely given him a moment of attention for the last two hours.

She wandered slowly down the hallway first passing Shanna’s bedroom before reaching her own and finding him stretched out across the bottom of her bed. She giggled and leaned on the side of the doorway. He looked rather comfortable. A little too comfortable. Maybe he wanted some company?

“What are you up to, Evans?”

He tilted his head up to find her standing there. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to notice I was gone.” He leaned up further and rested on one arm to fully take sight of her. His eyes appeared a little dopey, a thing that always seemed to give away his nefarious intentions. From the angle he was now lying in, the size of his bicep looked ridiculous. It could not have been an accidental move and she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t working for her.

“Are you bored? You can absolutely go if you have a better offer, I promise I won’t mind.” she offered by way of an apology but he stayed looking at her, not moving or responding to her offer. Being caught under his glare like this was unnerving to say the least. His hair looked a little messy from where he had been lying down yet he still made zero effort to move at all.

“I’m not bored.” He finally spoke, sincerity lacing his voice. “Are you? You seem distracted tonight.”

She didn’t know how to respond except to say he was right and to apologise again. She hadn’t figured out what to say to Greg yet so explaining her thought process to Chris wasn’t going to get her very far. It was times like this, when he was looking at her like that, that she wished she had the confidence to try and shut him up the old-fashioned way.

“Come here...” It was barely a whisper and she would have doubted he had spoken at all if it wasn’t for the hand he was now holding out towards her. He didn’t blink once.

She couldn’t refuse him and moved slowly to stand in the middle of his now-parted legs hanging off the end of the bed as he sat up. She watched as he closed his eyes when he felt her fingers smooth through his hair. There was something so calming about her touch, the deliberate graze of her nails sending little shocks down his spine. He wasn’t normally fussed by a woman playing with his hair even if occasionally he liked it when they pulled on it but something about her slow, tender touch was unlike anything he had felt before.

He moved his hands to the side of her thighs before pulling her legs down to either side of him. “I love looking at you from here.” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist making sure she couldn’t get away from him.

She moved in to kiss him, softly at first before she felt his tongue glide along her bottom lip, a wordless request for her to open up. He paused for a second, taking her in while she caught her breath before kissing her deeper than before. She pulled his t-shirt up from the hem and he reached up over his back to grab it and whip it off in record time. Not one of his proudest moments, it caught on his watch as he tried and failed to fling it to the side of them and he made a mental note to try that move again when he felt her chuckle against the side of his neck. He didn’t much mind being a dork in front of her. She knew he wasn’t as cool as he made himself out to be.

His hands found their way into her hair as he caressed the strands out of her face. He loved how silky it felt between his fingers and how faintly it smelled of coconut, her signature smell by now. Her hands gripped his wrists before slowly moving up his biceps and grasping at his shoulders while he pulled her down onto him to allow her to feel how hard he was becoming from her touch. He wanted to know she was only thinking about him. She felt him push up into her core and arousing her even more. His breaths were getting shorter while his hands moved down her sides in an attempt to hook into her leggings and drag them down and off her body. She moved a hand away from his shoulders to help him with his mission but a tapping sound soon broke her from her reverie.

“Wait.” she was still holding on to his arms to steady herself until things went quiet and his hands froze on her waist. Their breathing levelled out quickly and Chris threw her a confused look. “Do you hear something?”

“What?” He gasped. “No, nothing.” He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her back down to kiss him hard. His hands firmly gripped her ass until she was putting pressure back where he wanted it. She quickly forgot what she was thinking about while he moved her slowly along his growing length. He moved one hand up her side, dragging her sweater up with it so his fingers could finally feel her skin underneath. Her hands were pushing down on his chest a bit harder and in a moment that took her by total surprised he quickly flipped them over so she was lying underneath him, completely encased by his strong forearms.

Kissing her was so easy he couldn’t believe he hadn’t done it sooner. Her lips were soft, some of the softest her had ever touched. He figured she kissed like she wanted to be kissed, and he wanted to kiss her back like no boy had ever kissed her before. It was soft and hot and breathy and turning him on immensely. Neither was trying to win a battle but rather seeking and enjoying their closeness, the sharing of this one single sensation, outside world be damned.

The prospect of being uninterrupted was giving him all kinds of ideas. Her breathing was hot against his skin and he knew she was in the zone with him. They’d never particularly been slow and up until this point, he hadn’t much minded but he knew there was some part of her she was holding back and honestly, it was thrilling to him that he was determined to figure her out.

Pinning her underneath, one hand reached down and grazed the inside of her thigh. A little more pressure just over her clit caused her breath to hitch with a sudden squeak ever so slightly until they smiled back into their kiss, tongues massaging together. Honestly, he could carry on doing this for hours if he knew for sure there would definitely be another time they had this opportunity.

She opened her eyes to find him resting so close above her and evidently relishing the way she was lightly tickling the back of his neck with her fingers. Another languid kiss followed before he caught the side of her neck between his teeth and pushed himself against her core, her wetness increasingly apparent to him. She was growing accustomed to his need to tease her like this that she almost missed the scraping sound that had returned, only this time it was louder and sounded like it was coming from just down her hallway. She would have loved nothing more than to continue focussing on the hot breath now ghosting across her neck and shoulders but, panicking, she grudgingly pushed him off her.

“Fuck, what is that?”

Helpless and slightly dazed, all he could do was watch her get up from the bed to stand by the door. With an ear close to the gap, she listened out for another sound. Quieter than before, she swore she heard what sounded like shuffling followed by something being dropped on the ground.

Spying him about to protest, she shook her head. “Nope. Nope, that’s definitely something.” She proceeded to tiptoe out of her room and down the hall towards the kitchen, her bare feet treading ever so lightly and managing to dodge the one creaky floorboard. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting to find but felt a brief surge of confidence knowing the vision of Captain America might alarm whoever was attempting to break in to her home and presumably try to murder them both. He was 6 foot and built like a tank, he could absolutely save them both if push came to shove.

Of course, no one was there that she could immediately see. Maybe something had fallen off the wall instead, or perhaps had been knocked over by a strong breeze coming in via the open window in the lounge? Maybe she was hearing things after all or maybe it was a burglar but they got startled and ran away when they heard footsteps inside. Maybe it was just their neighbour moving around next door but it sounded a little too close for that. She resorted to the only thing she could think of in that moment and picked up a spatula just in case.

Chris was reluctantly putting his t-shirt back on when he followed quietly behind her, shaking his leg to relieve some of the tension in his boxers. Something banged again but this time she was sure it was coming from outside of her front door. He could now hear it as well but wasn’t entirely sure what she was hoping to accomplish with a plastic spatula in her hand.

She held her finger up to her lips to stop him from making any noise and peered through the peephole. She couldn’t see anything. Gingerly, she decided to open the door and jumped backwards when there, on the ground hunched up and leaning against the door frame, was a rathe intoxicated Shanna. Her bag had been emptied in a hurry like she’d been trying to locate her keys, and her coat was falling off her shoulders. She was half-asleep.

Chris snorted from somewhere close behind Sarah unable to contain himself, instantly familiar with the view in front of him. Sarah exhaled with some kind of relief that they were safe from a mass-murderer.

“I don’t believe it...” she spoken quietly.

“I do!” Chris could barely stop the laughter coming out now.

She and Chris moved to help her into the apartment, each grabbing her under one arm. Chris bared the majority of her weight while Sarah carried her bag and as a many contents as she could find. They managed to manoeuvre her into her bedroom where she promptly fell forward, head first, onto her bed,

“Fuckin’ waster,” he laughed heartily before Sarah punched his arm to stop him  from waking her. the room fell silent for a moment before the unmistakeable sound of Shan snoring took over. Chris closed the door behind them before following Sarah to the kitchen where she collected the remaining items that had fallen out of her bag. Picking up her phone, she checked for scratches.

“Well at least she didn’t lose it this time,” she held up the mobile to him but noticed he couldn’t stop grinning. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” he shook his head. “I just wish I’d taken a picture of her. Scott would have a heart attack. Always told her she couldn’t handle her drink!”

“i don’t know how you’d explain getting hold of a photo of her.”

“Oh yeh, good point.” he chuckled in reponse. They regarded each other for a moment, Chris clearly hopeful they could pick up from where they left off.

“I think you should go,” Sarah thought apologetically.

He paused before answering, expecting her to have been joking. “Why? She’s passed out on her bed. She’ll be asleep for hours. Do you have any idea how many times I have seen her like this?”

“Have you any idea how many times I have seen her like this? She’ll wake up in the middle of the night and get into bed with me and it’d be a lot easier to handle if I didn’t have to explain to her why her bother was also there.”

“Sarah, we could throw a rave and she wouldn’t wake up.”

He was making no effort to move, instead fixing her with a stare waiting for her to recognise how ridiculous she sounded. His hands pinched at his hips and he looked a foot taller than before

“Seriously, Chris, you’re just going to have to leave.”

He took a couple of steps towards her, bare feet padding along the hard, cold floor. “I haven’t see you all week.” He moaned, hands reaching out for her hoping the memory of where they had been would be enough to convince her he should stay.

“That’s not true. You saw me the other day.” It was a weak response. Even she knew that.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

She offered back nothing. She had no response. He was disappointed and equally as frustrated with his lack of a decent comeback. He should definitely stay. He should be rocking her world right this moment and whispering filthy things into her ear but instead, all he could do was stand there and shake his head in defeat. When he made eye contact with her again, she looked somehow smaller in some way and he found it hard to continue being frustrated with her. He understood what she was doing as much as he didn’t want to.

Resigned, he shuffled towards her and embraced her in a hug. She felt him semi-hard against her tummy, briefly doubting her choices. It stirred something exciting inside her to think she could make him feel that way and mentally chastised Shanna for cock-blocking her. She felt bad for kicking him out like this.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” she whispered.

He loosely pulled away from their hug and looked down at her. He playfully raised an eyebrow and looked down at her lips, still pink and swollen, before chastely planting a kiss on them.

“I am absolutely going to hold you to that.”

*

Shan finally made an appearance the following morning looking like death warmed up. She’d somehow managed to remove her clothes but had a pyjama top on backwards and her hair was sticking out in all directions. She had Sarah’s expert eyeliner and a false lash smudged down one cheek.

Sarah was eating breakfast and checking the news on her phone when she saw the creature from the black lagoon emerge into her kitchen. Stifling a laugh at the sorry sight standing before her, she felt a pang of sympathy seeing every step cause her pain. Shan just pouted at her before taking a seat at the kitchen table, resting her forehead in her hands while Sarah fixed her a glass of juice and some aspirin. She took it gratefully before groaning.

“Remind me never to do shots again.” she stressed. Sarah knew it wouldn’t last, not with that Boston blood coursing through her veins. “Was Chris here last night?”

Sarah froze, a sudden ring clouding her ears. “Erm, no, he wasn’t.” She turned to put her bowl in the sink and tried to hide any blushes. She didn’t know who felt more like shit in this exact moment.

“Oh I could have sworn I heard him is all.” Shan said, more to herself than to anyone else. “God, it’s good he wasn’t. He’d have a ball game seeing me in that state. How awful was I?”

“Not very,” Sarah lied again.

“How did I even get home?” she asked, trying to piece together the flashes of memories that kept racing through her mind.

“Um, I think your friends dropped you off in a taxi and you somehow managed to get up the stairs but then I guess you couldn’t find your keys...?” Shan managed a puzzled look. “You were slumped against the front door.” She refilled her glass with juice. “You’ve been in bed for, like, twelve hours.”

“Shit, we must have started early.”

“Well it happens to the best of us.” Sarah sat next to her and pushed a loose piece of hair out of her sweaty, red face. “Your hair looks OK! I don’t think there is anything stuck in it this time.”

Shanna laughed for the first time before her head panged in revenge.

“So? Did anything happen with Robbie?” Sarah asked, a cheeky grin crossing her face. By the look on Shanna’s face, the answer was a resounding “no” but it could very well have been the alcohol-induced hurricane currently running though her head.

“Well, it was a great night regardless. You’d love the bar. I think we ran into that guy, the porter from your hospital? Pat something? Did you know he plated in a band?”

“Um, no, not at all. Wow.” Sarah was trying to picture Patrick with an array of different instruments to see which suited him before remembering the awkward time he attempted to drum Phil Collins’ ‘In The Air Tonight’ with two scalpels. “Actually, he does seem the type. I’ll have to let Audrey know. She’ll love this.”

“He sounded pretty decent. It’s not just punk music or heavy rock. I think we should all go one night. Maybe as part of Mom’s birthday week.” Shanna perked up a little, proud of the idea that had materialised in her head against all odds. “It’s amazing what people can do when they put some effort in. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Where you might be now if you just took a chance.”

Following a night of heavy drinking, Sarah wasn’t expecting such an existential conversation at this point in the day. But it was a good point regardless. She grabbed her phone from the table and typed out a message to Greg.

“Yes. I’m in.”

*

#chris evans #chris evans fic #evans fic #chris evans x original female character #sarah bernette #clear the area

[our-time-is-now]

June 29, 2019 – You look good today

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on  our blog.     

Saturday, 6:37 pm:

David: *is sitting in Matteo’s room – the door open – going through his list of questions again because in two days he and Matteo have their third consultation appointment for the mastectomy, while Matteo has disappeared into the kitchen to prepare dinner* *crosses out some of the questions because they had already been answered at his first consultation and it wouldn’t make any sense to ask them again and tries to think of some more questions* *adds two or three questions and then considers making a neat copy of the list because he thinks that it will surely make a bad first impression if he shows up to the consultation with a list full of scribbles*

Hans: *has been struck by the mood to do some decluttering and tidying up and enters the living room with an already half-full trash bag* *puts it on the floor and at first doesn’t really notice that the door to Matteo’s room is open* *leans down to clear some things away from under the table, his back facing the door* *throws a few things into the trash bag and puts some of the things back* *gets up to go to the couch and then notices David sitting on the armchair in Matteo’s room* *smiles at him and lifts his hand in greeting* Hey… I’m just cleaning up a little in here, feel free to close the door if it bothers you… *then goes over to the small shelf by the sofas and goes through the things on it* *laughs out loud* Oh man, neon colors, how long have they even been here?!? *turns back toward Matteo’s room and waves the colors around* David, do you remember? The neon-party! That was the first time you’ve been to our apartment, right? That must have been at least three months ago, right?

David: *at one point sees Hans enter the living room with a trash bag and watches him for some time with a grin* *then realizes that he has also noticed him and nods at him in greeting* Hey… *quickly shakes his head* No, it doesn’t bother me. *briefly has a bad conscience and wonders whether he should offer to help him, but on the other hand Matteo and he are rarely in the living room and if they are, they usually make sure that they don’t leave anything lying around* *had just turned to a clean page in his notebook to write down his questions again cleanly when he hears Hans speaking again* *at first doesn’t get what he’s talking about and also doesn’t really want to shout through half the apartment, so he puts down his notebook, gets up and slowly walks over to Hans in the living room, his hands in his pockets* *grins when he sees Hans with the neon colors* *then thinks about his question and about whether he should tell Hans that the neon party wasn’t the first time he had been to the apartment* *but then nods at his assumption because it would be too complicated right now and because it would probably lead to Hans asking him a thousand questions if he told him that he had been there a week earlier* Umm, yes… *then puts his hand on his neck and runs it through his hair before shrugging* Three months? *it somehow seems longer to him* *slightly shakes his head and laughs quietly* Sorry, I cannot remember dates if my life depended on it… *could probably look up the date on his phone when he cancelled on Laura and their movie-theater date*

Hans: *looks at him when he hesitates and at first thinks that David doesn’t remember even having been there* *but then hears that he can’t remember dates* Hang on, we’ll find out in a moment… *takes his phone out of his pocket, types around on it for a while and then nods in triumph* Hey, exactly three months! The 29th of March! *then broadly smiles at David* This means that we’ve known each other for exactly three months! What was that again with cake for anniversaries? Well, did we even talk to each other at the party? We didn’t really, did we? *then shrugs* Maybe then we’d better count from the sausage-meeting or the kitchen-meeting!

David: *grins slightly when Hans takes his phone out of his pocket and then grins even broader when he confirms that it has been exactly three months today* *murmurs* Cool… *then smiles when Hans is talking about anniversaries and cake and shakes his head at his question* No… *grins* You’ve put on this show with your friends and someone told me that you live here, as well, but we didn’t really talk to each other… *then laughs again quietly and thinks* Hmmm… let’s take the kitchen-meeting. Somehow that was our first real conversation… *feels like he had only been stammering around at their sausage-meeting* *then grins again slightly* But just remind me of our anniversary a few days beforehand… otherwise I’d surely forget about it and that would be a pity about the cake and all of that… *briefly turns back to Matteo’s room and considers if he should continue with his list or if he should offer his help to Hans, after all* *briefly gnaws on his bottom lip and then asks* Should I help you with anything? Or can you manage?

Hans: *laughs and throws his head back* We’ve got the party going properly, admit it! *nod’s at David’s decision* Kitchen-meeting, alright. *then laughs again* I’ll put a reminder in my phone and then I’ll text you. *puts the neon colors in the trash bag and turns back towards the shelf when David turns around again* *but then looks up again when David says something* *smiles and waves it off* Nonsense! I can manage! Most of it is my stuff, anyways, because my room is the smallest. Don’t worry about it.

David: *does slightly grin at Hans’ comment but hadn’t really paid attention to it because he had been talking to a fellow student – he only noticed that for some reason Matteo had disappeared shortly afterwards* *but then laughs when Hans says that he’ll put a reminder in his phone* Oh, yes, please! *watches him declutter for a while and then nods when he says that he can manage* Okay… *pushes himself off the couch and smiles briefly* Have fun. *then goes back into Matteo’s room, sits back down on the armchair and pulls the notebook onto his lap* *isn’t really thinking about the consultation but about the neon party, about Matteo’s and his strange meeting in the kitchen, the relief on Matteo’s face when he learned that Laura is his sister, the realization they apparently both had at that exact moment and their almost-kiss* *wonders again what would have happened if he hadn’t fled the apartment after they were interrupted and has to smile when he remembers how overjoyed he had been afterwards at the thought that their lips had touched for at least a fraction of a second* *briefly looks into the living room where Hans is no longer to be seen* *didn’t notice him leaving* *sighs quietly and puts the notebook aside* *is yearning for Matteo and simply gets up to go to join him in the kitchen* *has to smile when he sees Matteo chopping vegetable at the exact same spot they almost kissed at* *quietly says* Hey… *then steps next to him and looks at him from the side* *thinks “like back then” and eventually blurts out without thinking about it* You look good today…

Matteo: *is in the kitchen, cooking – nothing big, mostly making use of leftovers and the stuff he found in the fridge* *is chopping bell pepper and considers turning on some music when David comes into the kitchen* *looks up and smiles when he hears David* Hey… *continues his chopping when David comes to stand next to him* *then hears his compliment and immediately grins* *remembers the last time David said that, even though he doesn’t remember right now that it has been exactly three months ago today* *remembers how it surprised him, that he couldn’t really place it, and also remembers how good it had felt* *looks at him and tilts his head* And is Laura still your sister?

David: *sees Matteo grin and in that moment knows that he remembers* *feels his heartbeat pick up when he thinks about how much has changed since that evening – that Matteo is now grinning in contrast to how done he had looked that evening* *then also grins slightly when Matteo looks at him and when he hears his question* *pretends to think about it for a moment but then nods* Yep… *also tilts his head slightly and asks* Relieved?

Matteo: *grins even more when David pretends to think about it* *nods strongly when he asks if he’s relieved* So much… beyond all measure… extremely very much relieved! *slowly leans toward him and wiggles his eyebrows* *was just about to kiss him when the apartment door flies open and Mia and Alex enter the apartment* *can’t help but to laugh* That’s somehow creepy now…

David: *tries to stay serious but then has to grin when Matteo says how relieved he is* *but gets more serious again when Matteo leans forward to kiss him and slowly leans toward him* *briefly remembers what it was like three months ago and how nervous and insecure he was, but then concentrates on Matteo – until he hears the apartment door and Alex and Mia enter and pass the kitchen to go straight toward the living room* *briefly draws up his eyebrows but then also laughs when Matteo does and nods* Totally… *gets a little more serious again after some time and, like back then, pushes away from the counter* *then stands in the kitchen in mock helplessness and, like back then, says* I think I should get going… *pretends to leave the kitchen*

Matteo: *was just about to pull him into a kiss anyways when David gets more serious again* *shakes his head when he says that he should get going* *quickly takes two steps towards him and grabs his arms* No way… that’s enough now… *turns him so that he can look at him* Today I’ll get my kiss, you idiot! *then grins slightly and kisses him, tentative and soft, the way a first kiss could be*

David: *grins slightly when Matteo grabs his arms and says that it’s enough now* *lets Matteo pull him close and turn him around and laughs quietly at his words* *can only manage to murmur…* You’ll get it… *…before Matteo kisses him* *closes his eyes immediately and kisses him back just as softly and tentative* *feels his heartbeat speed up a little at the thought that their almost-kiss three months ago could have been just like that* *at some point wraps an arm around him, pulls him closer and softly runs his other hand through his hair* *eventually pulls away form the kiss a little and murmurs quietly* If only you did this three months ago…

Matteo: *sighs slightly when David pulls away from the kiss* *leaves his arms wrapped around him and nods* Yes, if only I did… *kisses him briefly* But, a first kiss in an empty pool is also quite cool… *grins slightly and kisses him again*

David: *laughs quietly and nods* True… everyone can do it in the kitchen… a pool is cooler… *puts his hands to Matteo’s cheeks when he kisses him again and tenderly returns the kiss* *eventually grins into the kiss, pulls away again for a moment and looks into Matteo’s eyes with a smile* But still, happy three-months-almost-kiss-anniversary…

Matteo: *grins and nods* And we’re not everyone… *tilts his head slightly and looks at him a little reproachfully when he pulls away again* *but then gapes at him in surprise* That was three months ago today? Really? And you know that? *laughs quietly* Is this a dream? Where am I? Who are we?

David: *nods with a smile when Matteo asks again, but then tilts his head and looks at him reproachfully when he’s so surprised that he knows about it* *but then also has to quietly laugh when he hears his next questions but says in a sarcastic tone of voice* Ha-ha… very funny! *lightly hits him on the head and says provokingly* Maybe I keep a record of all the important dates as of late? *pulls up his eyebrows and grins* *doesn’t want to tell him just yet that Hans gave him that information*

Matteo: *grins slightly* Sorry… *grimaces when he hits him on the head but doesn’t cower* *looks at him very skeptically* You do? Didn’t you say a list is useless because you don’t look at it in the first place?

David: *sees Matteo’s skeptical look and almost has to grin even more* *but actually finds it really cute that he remembers his problem with lists* *slightly tilts his head to and fro* Maybe I’ve gotten into the habit of looking at it, after all!? *but then has to laugh, shakes his head and clears the situation up* Nooo, Hans found the neon colors in the living room earlier and reminisced because he thinks that the neon party was the first time that I’ve been to your apartment and because I couldn’t confirm that it was about three months ago he looked it up… to the day… *tenderly pushes the hair out of Matteo’s face while his grin morphs into a smile* *quietly says* But it was also somehow nice to remember an anniversary before you do…

Matteo: *only shakes his head a little when David says that he’s gotten into the habit of looking at the list* *then grins slightly when he clears it up* *but then gets a little more serious when he remembers Hans’ show and what followed afterwards* *presses his lips together slightly* *but then smiles again automatically when David smiles at him* *pus his hand to his cheek and tenderly runs his thumb over his skin* I think so, too…and I think it’s even nicer that we don’t celebrate it by only almost-kissing each other… *grins slightly and kisses him again*

David: *watches Matteo while he talks and notices that he gets a little more serious for a moment* *then realizes that he’s never asked him why he suddenly disappeared into his room during the party* *but then gets pulled from his thoughts when Matteo smiles again and runs his thumb over his cheek* *then also smiles at his words and right before Matteo kisses him again murmurs* Only almost-kisses would be horrible… *returns his kiss and pulls him a little closer again* *kisses him for a while and then puts his forehead against Matteo’s when the kiss automatically comes to an end* *then asks* Do you know what was really strange back then? That somehow nobody questioned the fact that I stayed back at your apartment when everyone else went out to party… well, apart from Laura… *kisses him again and adds* But I’m glad that I did… otherwise we surely wouldn’t have been brave enough to kiss a week later…

Matteo: *sighs quietly when the kiss comes to an end and then puts his head on David’s shoulder* *laughs slightly when he hears his question* They were all too drunk to question anything… *then laughs quietly when he mentions Laura* *realizes that he doesn’t know how much and how soon Laura even knew about it* Oh, yes, Laura… what did you tell her? I totally feel like emptying half-empty beer bottles? *then smiles and pushes his face a little more into his neck* Eventually we surely would have been brave enough… one way or the other…

David: *has to grin slightly when Matteo says that the others were too drunk* Probably… *closes his eyes for a moment because Matteo’s face on his neck feels so good, but then answers his question* Hmmm… I told her that I thought it was bad to not say goodbye to you and that you invited me and we hadn’t even talked… *hesitates for a moment and then adds a little quieter* … and that I was worried about why you disappeared into your room and that I wanted to see if you were alright… *tilts his head to Matteo’s neck and kisses him briefly on it* *only nods at his statement that at some point they would have been brave enough one way or the other*

Matteo: *laughs slightly* You’re such a polite person… *but then hears his next words and freezes for a moment* *can remember exactly that he felt powerless and exposed by Andi, who he didn’t even know* *that he panicked because he enjoyed it for a moment* *that he had been disappointed and sad that David had shown up with a girl* *that he thought that everything was getting out of control and that nothing was the way it should be* *swallows slightly and quietly says* I wasn’t okay… but it was good that you stayed… otherwise the whole Laura thing probably would have made me go insane…

David: *grins slightly at Matteo’s words and nods* Always have been… *then feels Matteo freeze in his arms and feels helpless and powerless for a moment* *wonders if it would have been better not to mention that it had been pretty obvious that he wasn’t okay* *tenderly runs his hand over his back and keeps holding him* *eventually pulls away a little to look at him* *nods when he starts to talk and says that that he hadn’t been okay* *quietly murmurs* I know… *keeps listening and then smiles* *kisses his temple and says* I should have introduced you to each other when we arrived… I guess I’m not as polite as we thought… *but then gets a little more serious again and quietly says* I noticed that you weren’t okay… *slightly shakes his head* … but I didn’t have the guts to ask you about it… we barely knew each other…

Matteo: *relaxes a little under David’s touch* *tries to smile when David looks at him* *shrugs one shoulder* Yes, maybe… *thinks that it would have helped but it wouldn’t have undone the thing with Andi* *nods slightly* It’s okay… you know that sometimes everything just gets a little too much for me… *shrugs one shoulder again* It’s not that big of a deal… I just need a minute when this happens and then I’m okay again…

David. *looks at Matteo half scrutinizingly and half worried and slowly nods at his words* *doesn’t want to probe and most of all wants to believe him when he says that it isn’t that big of a deal* *besides, the whole thing is three months in the past and maybe he has long since put it behind him* *therefore smiles slightly and only says* Okay… *then hears someone clear their throat and automatically looks to the door* *sees Mia standing there, eyebrows slightly pulled up, a slight grin on her face and hers her ask: “Are you cooking or are you guys only making out? We would also need to use the kitchen later… maybe you could just tell us when you’re done in the kitchen… with cooking, I mean."* *only manages to nod and sees Mia disappear again* *then looks at Matteo and points to the counter* Can I help? *runs a hand over his back again and then lets go of him slowly*

Matteo: *also smiles when David does and nods again in confirmation* *then also looks at the door when he hears someone clear their throat* *murmurs* Spoilsport… *sees her disappear again and calls after her* Do you need the kitchen to cook or to make out? *has walked into Mia and Alex making out multiple times in various rooms of this very flatshare* *then shakes his head at David’s question* No, I’m almost done, was just about to toss everything into the pan… you can already take some plates into my room and tell Miss Winter that the kitchen is all hers in 15 minutes.

David: *grins when Matteo murmurs and calls after Mia* *then nods when Matteo says that he’s almost done and turns to the cabinet to take out plates* *laughs quietly* I’ll probably disturb them while they’re making out if I knock on her door… *sighs* But okay… see you in a minute… *takes the cutlery from the drawer and disappears into Matteo’s room with the plates and the cutlery* *places it on his bed and already turns on the laptop because they usually watch some series while they eat* *then knocks on Mia’s door and calls through the closed door* The kitchen’s all yours in 15 minutes…. *hears a “thanks” through the closed door and goes back to the kitchen to Matteo* *takes two glasses out of the cabinet and a bottle of water out of the fridge before starting to clear away some of Matteo’s cooking utensils* *quickly washes the knives and cutting boards Matteo has used so that Mia can’t complain about the state of the kitchen and then leans next to the stove and looks at Matteo* *smiles and says* Thanks for cooking! *thinks that he says it way too rarely and wants Matteo to know that he really does appreciate the fact that he always cooks for him*

Matteo: *is standing at the stove* *has just sautéed the onions and now adds the leftover potatoes from yesterday and the rest of the various vegetables* *briefly looks up when David comes back in* *is happy that he already starts to clear away some stuff because he can really do without a talk from Mia* *then smiles when he thanks him* No bother… thanks for cleaning up… I’m almost done here…

David: *nods when Matteo says that it’s almost done and steps behind him* *puts his arms around his stomach from behind and puts his head on his shoulder* *briefly kisses his neck and says* We’re simply a good team… *feels quite comfortable and cozy right now and is looking forward to the rest of the evening with Matteo*

(next play)

#druck #druck og #davenzi #matteo florenzi #david schreibner #davenzi plays

[askauradonprep]

So, what would everyone think of the two rumble matches last night? Anyone happy with the results? Mad? Had a favorite part/least favorite part?

I was actually going to write a series of ‘tweets’ for some friends who enjoy WWE and Descendants so I’m reallllllllyyyyyy glad you asked.

Sheamus vs Chad Gable (I refuse to dignify the stupid storyline that called him ‘Shorty G’) - 

@MalGuillory - Okay, yeah. Kinda shoulda seen this coming on the pre-show. Not a bad start! At least it wasn’t the girls or the tags this time -_-

@LiLonnie - YES! Welcome back Sheamus! I’m sorry, Shorty, I love you too.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Meh. Slow start but not bad.

@JayRasheed - When’s The Bar coming back?@CarlosDeville replied - @Cesaro https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH4Y1ZUUx2g

@BenBonhomme - Not a bad start! Welcome back, Sheamus!

 Andrade vs Humberto Carrillo - 

@CrownPrincessRuby - Ahhh! I don’t know who to cheer for! Someone help!@PrincessAnxelin replied - Seriously, she’s making the ‘computer overheating whirring’ noise.

@BenBonhomme - Awww! I thought Humberto had him. Next time for sure!

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Was kinda hoping Zelina’d turn on Andrade. Oh well.@CrownPrincessRuby replied - BITE YOUR TONGUE. Zelina and Andrade are so good together!@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa replied - Zelina Vega’s good on her own too. It’s a waste for her to stay with him if they’re not mixed tagging.

@LiLonnie - That was a good match! Bummer for Humberto, but I’m happy for Andrade.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Wait. Both matches were title-less. IS WWE LEARNING HOW TO BOOK PRE-SHOWS?!?? #ItsAMiracle@HarryHook replied - They must be reading your twitter, Captain. Seems more likely. 

Roman vs Corbin - 

@BenBonhomme - EXCELLENT start to the Rumble! Well done Roman Reigns!

@PrincessAudreyVictore - #ThankYouRoman for having the grace, determination and LEADERSHIP a true King offers.

@JayRasheed - I love Corbin, but as soon as he opened that dog food, he had that coming. Good job, Big Dog.

@CarlosDeville - That’s what you GET for messing with the bloodline!

@LiLonnie - YEAH! Great job Roman! The Usos coming to help had me T.T

@MalGuillory - #WelcomeToTheRumble

@4HeartsEvie - Maybe now Corbin can get a new crown? Please? My work email’s in my description. I’LL DO IT FOR FREE.@Evie’sManagerDoug replied - Please don’t do it for free. 

@PrincessAnxellin - I still think Corbin should’ve won. *shrug*@CrownPrinceChad replied - You and me both.

 Women’s Rumble - 

@MalGuillory - Alright! Let’s get this party started!

@LiLonnie - Already??? Oh well. 

@LiLonnie - OMG OMG Molly Holly, okay, I take it back. @MalGuillory replied - Hey, chill! You’re not allowed to die tonight!@LiLonnie replied - Bold of you to assume Asuka vs Becky isn’t gonna kill me but okay.

@4HeartsEvie - I see we’ve reached the ‘Lonnie freaking out about the Legends’ portion of the show.@JayRasheed replied - Seriously. I’ve learned about 99% of the legends I know about from her freaking out. 

@PrincessAudreyVictore - #ESTofNXT let’s go!

@PrincessAudreyVictore - Oh no! Mercedes Martinez is here! Who am I supposed to cheer for now?@LiLonnie replied - I love them all. Feel my pain. @PrincessAudreyVictore replied - You love all wrestlers. You just have that ‘I just hope both teams have fun’ sign. :P

@JaneCollingwood - I love Lana’s gear! So pretty!

@CarlosDeville - GO LANA!

@MalGuillory - Oh, Liv, what did they do to you? T . T #Travesty

@CarlosDeville - YEAH! NAOMI!

@CrownPrincessRuby - YES! Welcome back Glow Queen! #Naomi

@CarlosDeville - GET THEM NAOMI

@JaneCollingwood - Oh, yay! Welcome back, Naomi!

@MalGuillory - I…seriously? Santina Marella? What?@LiLonnie replied - Long story, bad joke, tell you later.

@PrincessAudreyVictore - We could have had Sasha in the 29th slot. #JustSaying. 

@WhatmynameUmaThalassa - Seriously? I’d say ‘keep Santina Marella in 2009 where it belongs’ but…it didn’t.@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - The only good thing about this is Beth’s ‘I know where I’m hiding the body’ face.

@MalGuillory - Seriously? No Nia, No Ruby, barely any Liv, Sarah or Tamina? I’m disappointed. Fire & Desire never do though.

@PrincessAudreyVictore - #BowDownToTheQueen

@LiLonnie - She did it! Charlotte Flair did it! @LiLonnie - I just remembered she said she wanted to win the Rumble for her brother. BRB, crying again.

@MadMaddy - As if it were ever in doubt! #Bowdowntothequeen

@JaneCollingwood - Yay, Charlotte! Good job!

@BenBonhomme - Excellent work from all the WWE’s women. They should be very proud of their roster.@4HeartsEvie replied - They should be! And yet…@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa replied - Hey! That’s my line!

@4HeartsEvie - I could not possibly be prouder of Charlotte Flair. Well done. I wish the Bellas could be back but since they can’t.

@CrownPrinceChad - Excellent work from Charlotte. 

@JadeRasheed - *gay panic*

Bayley vs Lacey - 

@JaneCollingwood - I know she’s my favourite wrestler, but I don’t like evil Bayley. I miss the old one.@CarlosDeville replied - We all do. It’s okay.

@MalGuillory - Huh. Kinda thought they’d have Lacey win. She’s been getting pushed and Bayley….hasn’t.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Bayley needed that win. Point blank.

@PrincessAudreyVictore - Good. She’ll still have the belt for Sasha when she gets back.

@CrownPrincessRuby - I feel bad for Lacey’s daughter but great work, Bayley!@PrincessAudreyVictore replied - I love Lacey Evans, but I have a feeling Bayley won’t keep her belt much longer… *eyes emoji*

@BenBonhomme - That’s too bad. I was kind of rooting for Lacey this time. Oh well. 

@CrownPrinceChad - Boooooooooreeeeeed.

 Bray Wyatt vs Daniel Bryan - 

@FreddieFacilier - YESSSS. Let’s go Fiend already!

@CeliaFacilier - YES, GET HIM WYATT!

@ArabellaUnderTheSea - COME ON DBRY! You’ve fought this clown before!

@MalGuillory  - Yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhh, kinda saw that coming.

@FreddieFacilier - Was that a heel look I saw on DBry? Because yes please.

@Celia - The Fiend won! The Fiend won! I’m so happy!

@BenBonhomme - WHO is going to stop the Fiend? We’re gonna need the Big Dog aren’t we?@PrincessAudreyVictore replied - We ALWAYS need the Big Dog, thank you. 

@Evie’sManagerDoug - If the Fiend’s going down, it’ll be at Mania. @JayRasheed replied - I agree. It’s too early.@CarlosDeville replied - Too EARLY? He only bothers to defend the belt at Pay-per-views. We don’t need two Bork Lasers here. @LiLonnie replied - That’s not entirely true.@CarlosDeville replied - It is on tv.@FreddieFacilier replied - Look, WWE needs a new horror character with Taker gone. Let me have this!@CarlosDeville replied - Okay, fair. I just wish he defended more.

 Becky vs Asuka - 

@LiLonnie - I’m dead. RIP me. Cremate me and put my ashes in the family temple. Cause of death - Asuka and Becky Lynch.@MalGuillory replied - She’s lying down on the floor and hasn’t moved for ten minutes. I think she’s really dead this time.@JayRasheed replied - RIP Lonnie I guess.@CrownPrinceChad replied - Does this mean the captaincy is open?@4HeartsEvie replied - RIP. 

@JayRasheed - #She’sTheMan

@JaneCollingwood - Awww! I wanted Asuka to win! Becky’s on a roll though. She looked great.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - DAMN. Smacked the mist right out of her mouth!@HarryHook replied - Match of the night for sure!

@CrownPrincessRuby - What a match! I’m officially retiring now. There’s no point in staying, that was so good.@PrincessAnxellin replied - Uh, what about OUR TITLES???@CrownPrincessRuby replied - Oh, right. Retirement postponed. @BenBonhomme replied - Should I cancel your cake?@CrownPrincessRuby replied - Absolutely not! Anytime’s a good time for cake!

@MalGuillory - That kick to the face though. I *felt* that one.@4HeartsEvie replied - So did I! 

@4HeartsEvie - They were both so pretty! I love their gear. 

@JadeRasheed - *gay panics harder*@JayRasheed - She’s not joking. Her exact words right next to me - “Holy CRAP am I ever gay.”

@PrincessAudreyVictore - Well done ladies! Now, can you please stop killing my friend??? #RIPLonnie

@BenBonhomme - What a match! This was worth the wait! 

Men’s Rumble - 

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Watch them just feed the roster to Bork Laser.@GilGaston replied - I hope not! D: Will Lesnar be okay?@HarryHook replied - Gil…

@LiLonnie - I will not have words to describe how annoyed I will be if the point of this match is to feed the Rumble to Lesnar.

@JayRasheed - Damn. Even Mysterio and Kofi????@CarlosDeville - I WISH I was surprised.

@CrownPrincessRuby - THE DISRESPECT THE WWE KEEPS GIVING REY MYSTERIO DISGUSTS ME. FUCK. OFF. WITH THAT NOISE.@PrincessAnxellin replied - She just gave off the most swear words I have EVER heard her say in my living room. Aunt Cass would have a heart attack. 

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Yup. Women’s Rumble wins again. 3-0. Sorry guys, maybe next year booking won’t be a dick.

@HarryHook - FUCK YEAH MCINTYRE!

@CrownPrincessRuby - MCINTYRE AND RICOCHET JUST DID *THAT*

@CrownPrinceAziz - HA! Don’t sleep on Ricochet!

@PrincessAudreyVictore - FINALLY they got him out of there!@4HeartsEvie replied - Just in time for the last half too.

@MalGuillory - Holy shit will the guys get to actually wrestle??? Stay tuned.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - So now that Lesnar’s 15 man long dick sucking’s over, we can start the RUMBLE! Finally!

@GilGaston - Brock Lesnar is SO COOL. I wish I could dominate like that. He tossed over like 15 guys!@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa replied - I like you better the way you are.@GilGaston replied - :D

@JayRasheed - GOOD. Now let’s goooooooo!

@LiLonnie - OMG.@LiLonnie - OMG. @LiLonnie - I cAN’t@LiLonnie - I caN’t beLieve 

@JayRasheed - Okay, so, Lonnie just burst into tears so I’m guessing this Edge guy’s important?

@MalGuillory - Uh, anyone want to explain why Lonnie won’t stop crying?@MalGuillory - WAIT. That’s the guy who had the same injury Paige did!@MalGuillory - AWESOME. Welcome back, Edge!

@BenBonhomme - Amazing! Welcome back, Edge!

@PrincessAudreyVictore - I don’t think I can tweet anymore, Lonnie’s digging her nails in my arm to every time something happens to Edge.

@LiLonnie - BE CAREFUL WITH HIS NECK OMG

@JayRasheed - Aw yeah! Bring on the Big Dog!

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Sorry, Rollins, you deserved that ass kicking.@CarlosDeville replied - For real.

@JayRasheed - Double spears! Nice!

@LiLonnie - *incoherent wrestling fan screaming*

@HarryHook - I repeat - FUCK YEAH MCINTYRE@WhatsmynamedUmaThalassa retweeted this.

@JayRasheed - Oh come on. Big Dog should’ve had that covered.@PrincessAudreyVictore replied - I can only assume booking wanted someone new. Too bad. @PrincessAudreyVictore replied - I got my hopes up when the crowd was behind Roman.@JayRasheed replied - There’s always next year. He’ll get them then. 

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - A+ McIntyre. Match started slow, but it ended just right. 

@LiLonnie - Good job, Drew McIntyre! No complaints from me. 

@BenBonhomme - That was an awesome show! Well deserved, McIntyre. Well deserved wins all around. 

[lomilmalinde]

Hey, everyone! Bear with me, I’ve got a book update, not dolls... I’ve gotten a couple messages asking what was going on, so I figured I should address it where everyone can see. Where are the invoices for signed copies of book 2? They’re coming. Promise. The thing is... book 2 didn’t arrive. I ordered a crate from the distributor WELL before deadline, and I even paid for expedited shipping. Everything seemed to go well, I was really happy with how print copies turned out, and they were due to be delivered the 29th, the day before the book’s release. Then they didn’t come. And now the tracking on the package indicates my big crate of print copies of book 2 isn’t just late—it’s apparently lost. I hate to say I’m not surprised. Shipping everywhere is a mess right now, what with everything going on. I’ve been in contact with the distributor and they are going to have the books reprinted and reshipped at no charge. But they couldn’t tell me when to expect them to be ready, because they’re fighting a massive delay in the printing department. I don’t feel comfortable sending invoices for a book I don’t have in my hands, so I’ve elected to wait to send the invoices for signed copies. I’m really sorry for the wait, but there’s nothing else I can do about this right now. It’s outside of my control. 😢 I’m working on some extras to make up for the wait. Hopefully the reprinted books will arrive this week, but I have no way of knowing when to expect them until I receive notice that the replacement crate has shipped. If you decide to forgo a signed copy, print editions can be ordered from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Books-a-Million in the US. I think Waterstones has it in the UK, and I’m not sure about other places because... uh, I haven’t looked. I do know it should be available worldwide, but I don’t know how long these companies are taking to ship books right now. If you’d like to cancel your preorder, just let me know and I will take you off the list! Otherwise, I’ll let you know as soon as I’ve heard the replacement shipment is on the way. I’m so sorry for this and I wish I could do more. In the meantime, thank you for your patience! 💕 — view on Instagram https://scontent-iad3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/101030204_605082893446010_21998638899068699_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_sid=8ae9d6&_nc_ohc=MbIFIGeFU08AX8Nid6l&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.cdninstagram.com&oh=c9292c30ddfd28a975328c3359af1502&oe=5EF860BD

#Instagram #IFTTT

[stephhannes]

new year, who dis

what would be the use in becoming a symbol of walking desolation? awash in multiple griefs, elaborating on anguish. even if i never get to see you again, i’ll know that when we collided we both broke each other open. 

                                                   -mount eerie, love without possession 

i guess it’s been four months since i’ve sat down to write an actual blog. i figured i should at least try to get something out before the new year. 

i’ve tried to write an update a few times over the last couple of months, but every time i tried to write something, it’s just aggressively sad. like that one st. vincent lyric— i try to write you a love song, but it comes out a lament. and while an aggressively sad tone is appropriate to how i’ve been feeling, i’ve been trying to bring less sad energy to the table. (a surprise to everyone, because sad energy is my entire brand). 

I planned to get this blog up by january 1st. and then i kept putting it off. hence why this starts off saying things like, “i guess it’s been four months,” and “i figured i should at least try to get something out before the new year.” today is february 4th, which means it’s officially been a year and a half since nathan died. 

in the last few weeks, i’ve been under a lot of stress. i’m juggling three jobs right now, and somehow still don’t make enough money to survive. i’m sure that at this point, i’ve described to you my bona-fide money saving technique. it’s called “i only eat three days a week because it’s too expensive to feed myself every day,” sometimes, i get lucky, and get the scraps from events at work, and that’s literally like the one (1) thing i look forward to. 

i’m still out here searching for a salary (and health insurance) and hopefully, by my birthday, i’ll have that. but we’ll see, the job search has been uhhh…..abysmal to say the least. 

anyways, in the midst of being stressed, i’ve realized that i really don’t think about nathan all the time like i used to. sometimes i’ll go like two days before i’m reminded of him. the other day, i was like “am i a bad person because of this?” and like, logically, i know that it’s totally normal, but on the other hand, i can’t help but feel guilty because of it sometimes. i feel a sense of responsibility to exist as a reminder of “hey, this person existed, and they mattered,” and while i realize that’s a huge weight to put onto myself, i feel like if i don’t, then who will? 

last night, i was reading house of leaves (which, despite owning a copy since high school, i’ve actually never read it before) and i found nathan’s bookmark (a ticket from a baseball game he went to right after he moved to new york) in it, from when i let him take a few of my books when he moved to nyc. i got weirdly emotional and was like “wow what a fun coincidence to find this item of nathan’s that i’ve never seen before in my life on the 1.5 year anniversary of him dying.” i’m not saying i’m superstitious, but maybe i am a little stitious. 

+++

since the last time i wrote a blog, i’ve kept notes on my phone every time something happens that i feel holds some sort of importance- so here’s what’s been in my notes since august 4th. 

august 24, 2019. 4:17am

when i went into work on august 5th, a coworker of mine asked how i was doing. i was doing alright. the anniversary of nathan’s death really didn’t hit me too hard. i assumed i would have a huge nervous breakdown, and i didn’t. 

then my coworker, who’d also lost a partner, told me, “i hate to sound negative and be the one to tell you this but the second year is a lot harder than the first.”

that’s what i’d been reading online for months, but to hear someone say it to my face i was just like… oh shit. 

and so far, the second year has been harder. 

i’ve officially been out on my own for a month now. 

the best part about having depression is that no matter where you are, you still have depression. i don’t know why i was expecting moving to just alleviate all of my sadness when i know that i’ll always find a way to be miserable wherever i am. 

it’s nice to be out of abilene and at least have the option of opportunity, but i basically just spend all of my free time asleep or crying. 

as the ancient oracle, britney spears, once said- “my loneliness is killing me.”

now that i’ve started getting into a routine, i’m starting to feel that hole in my life again. 

i’m on the same schedule that i was when i lived in new york, almost. 

when we lived in new york, i would leave for work around 4, i’d get home around 11:30, and then nathan and i would hang out until around 4am, and then go to bed. the next day, he’d usually wake me up at a normal time, (or at least 2 hours before i had to be at work). 

and now i have to leave for work around 4:30, i get home around 11, and when i come home i’m just alone. and i lay in bed until i’m finally exhausted enough to fall asleep, usually around 5am. and then i wake up ten minutes before i have to go to work. 

i have been feeling this deep, existential sadness for awhile now. every night, i lay in bed and think about all of the conversations i wish i could revisit with nathan. all of the things i wish i’d said. i relive all of my favorite moments of ours. i am still so desperate to feel close to him again. 

i cannot remember a time in my life when i was excited to wake up. i cannot remember a time when i looked forward to my future. in fact, when i think about my mental health as a child, the only thing i remember is one time when i was 12, my dad bought me tickets to see my favorite band. i was obviously so incredibly excited, and expressed the human emotion of joy, and my mother accused me of being on drugs because she’d “never seen me act like that before.” it was so surprising to her to see me happy that she literally thought i was on drugs.

i’ve been like this for as long as i can remember, except for the two years that nathan and i were together. i was still so depressed when we lived together, but for the first time, i was looking forward to the future. for the first time, dealing with my depression seemed worth it. for the first time, putting effort into getting better made sense.  

for the first time in my life, i didn’t feel alone. 

and it took a lot of effort on nathan’s part to make sure that i didn’t feel alone. the loneliness i’ve always felt is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. i actively choose to retreat from friendships and relationships. i stop responding to texts. i hide away and cancel plans. it’s my fault that i feel isolated- because i isolate myself. and nathan refused to let me do that. when i get stressed, i internalize everything and take it all on my own- and nathan would recognize when i was doing that and beg me to let him help. and i wouldn’t let him help. but he would still do it, because he knew what i needed without me asking and would just quietly provide it for me so that i wouldn’t lose my mind. and a lot of the time the help was just him actively sitting me down and reminding me that i’m in fact, not alone. i’ll never forget when i was so stressed after moving to new york because i was so poor, and nathan telling me that “it’ll be okay. we’ll figure it out.” i never asked him for money, or for help, because i have too much pride for that. but even when i was working, i was struggling to make ends meet for myself, and he would sneakily do things like go to the grocery store and be like “oh hey, i was at the store today and just picked up some chicken for you so you don’t have to go yourself.” there were a few times when i asked him to pick up something from the halal cart for me because i didn’t want to get out of bed and i’d be like “there’s cash in my wallet just grab it” but instead of taking the money from my wallet, he’d just get the food for me, and put the change he had leftover in my wallet for me to have.

but even past that, just emotionally, he’d always reassure me that i wasn’t alone. as soon as he started to sense me doing the thing where i try to isolate myself, he’d just cling to me even harder. 

here’s the thing: i’m too tired to fight for myself, and i don’t have anyone that’ll fight for me the way that nathan did. 

august 29th, 2019. 5:32pm

so here’s the tea: i went on a date for the first time since nathan died. i went out last night, got drunk, got on bumble and agreed to go on a date this morning. so yeah, i was aggressively hungover, which is maybe not the best version of me for someone to meet- but it’s the version i brought to the table nonetheless. and like, it was fine. well, up until the point he was trying to relate to me and my career in theatre and told me that his favorite musical is CATS. his favorite cat is the rum tum tugger, and he can’t wait to see the movie in december. 

it’s not going to work out. CATS is an abomination and i refuse to spend time with anyone who disagrees with that statement. 

on a more serious note: i realized that i definitely don’t have the emotional capacity to date. i just can’t bring myself to care about anything anyone has to tell me about themselves. you have two sisters, your parents divorced when you were 8 and and you love CATS? zzzzz….sorry, that was me blacking out for 7 minutes. 

y’know, i’m unsure about a lot of things in my life. like, don’t try to ask me what i want for dinner because i refuse to make a decision about anything. don’t ask me what my favorite movie is, or my favorite book. i have no idea, dude, sorry. BUT the one thing i have incredible clarity about is what i deserve in a relationship. i had impossibly high standards before nathan and i were together and now they’re even higher- but that’s fine when you don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with scrubs to begin with. 

the other day, i found my journal that i kept in college. it starts in august of 2015, with the eulogy i wrote for my dad’s funeral. an excerpt: “despite me acting like an awful teen at times, he always was on my side. i think that’s what i’ll miss the most. i’ll miss having someone who had my back 100%. i’ll miss having someone who was always making sure i was happy…” and after reading that, i realized why my relationship with nathan was so successful. i’ve always heard that “girls always end up marrying someone like their dad” thing, and for the most part always chalked it up to weird patriarchal bullshit, but maybe there’s a little truth in it. because i definitely see some of my favorite things about my dad reflected in my favorite things about nathan. 

september 30, 2019. 1:09am

sometimes the saddest things must be sung. 

every time i try to write, it’s impossible to say anything that’s not just “i’m sad.” i haven’t been feeling great lately. i just feel trapped in this infinite loop of sadness and it’s so exhausting. i don’t like being like this. nathan would always get so frustrated with me when my depression was really bad, and i’d always be like do you think this is fun for me??? do you think i like being like this??? do you think i wake up and want to be a goblin??? newsflash my dude, i don’t. 

here’s the thing: when nathan first died, i was sad all the time. but it made sense. i had a reason to be sad all of the time. 

but i’m still sad all of the time. i wake up, i’m sad for 10 hours and then i go to bed. and then i wake up, maybe go to work, come home and be sad until bedtime. it’s a constant loop of sadness and i am so tired. 

nothing i do fulfills me. nothing satisfies me. i have neither purpose nor direction. i’m tired. and i’m sad. 

october 2nd, 2019. 7:34pm

i went to urgent care today- turns out i don’t have depression, i just have a torn ligament in my ankle. 

for context: i fell down the stairs at work the other day, crunched my ankle like it was an empty ozarka water bottle, and just wrecked my shit. i think this injury has me sadness spiraling a lot more than i normally do. now i get why nathan used to get so depressed whenever he’d injure himself.

the first time i got really sick after nathan died, i was so sad. this is my first ever really bad physical injury- i’ve never broken a bone or torn anything before, and i’m really feeling the loss of nathan right now. like how am i supposed to feed myself when i can barely walk to the kitchen? who’s supposed to remind me to take my ibuprofen every few hours? 

senior year of college, i kept getting strep, and the only reason i didn’t die is because every 12 hours nathan would call me to make sure i took my antibiotics, even when i had to take them at 2am. i only have two voicemails from him saved on my phone and literally one of them is from 3am and he’s like “hello wake up, your penicillin is calling, i’m gonna keep calling you until you wake up.” 

even though spraining my ankle was a nightmare, it could’ve been worse. just think, if i was a framing device in an emily bronte novel, i would have just had to live at work for five weeks until it healed.

october 11th, 2019. 5:37pm

i haven’t been sleeping lately, and last night i fell asleep around 6am. the cold front had just blown in and it was raining and i finally fell asleep. before i went to bed, i cracked my windows open for the first time this year and when i woke up this morning it was chilly in my room. i woke up in a little cocoon of all of my blankets and pillows and for a moment, before i completely opened my eyes, it felt like i was back in new york, waking up with nathan on a fall wednesday morning. it’s the little things.

october 25th, 2019. 2:19am

i keep thinking about all the things that have returned to me. all of the things that i gave to nathan that are back in my possession, tucked away in my room. like the grey ut shirt that was 3 sizes too big for me- so i gave it to him as a christmas present our first year together. he had been in new york for a semester, and he surprised me by coming to austin for new year’s- we hadn’t talked about christmas gifts or anything, but we ended up giving each other almost the exact same gift. he had gotten me a columbia sweater, and he slept in it for a few days before giving it to me, so it smelled like him. i did the exact same thing with that grey shirt. we couldn’t stop laughing when we exchanged the gifts because we were so amused that we’d gotten the same thing for each other. 

after he died, that shirt was one of the few that i kept of his, he slept in it all the time when we lived together. it still smells like him. 

i don’t wear my rings anymore, but when i see them in the bottom of my jewelry box, i think about the day that i gave him the engagement ring. he was so afraid of me saying no if he were to propose to me, so i told him that when i knew i’d say yes- i’d give him the ring i wanted him to use. on our first anniversary, i was visiting him in new york, right before i flew back to texas, i left a letter on his desk, with the ring attached. it returned to me a year after that, on our second anniversary when he proposed.

the day after nathan died, i went through all of his stuff. mostly because i knew i was about to fly back to texas and i didn’t know when i’d return to our apartment, so i wanted to collect all of his important documents that i didn’t want to lose. social security card, IDs, cards, passport, etc. but when i was digging through his backpack, i found a folder, where he’d kept all of the letters and cards i’d given to him throughout the years.

my personal favorite was an envelope that had two things in it: a sample size of the perfume that i’ve always worn, and a letter that just said “for when you miss me.” i gave that to him before we were even together. it was during that weird ambiguous era of our relationship where we were too afraid to commit, but were definitely in too deep to not commit. every time i would leave his apartment, he’d comment on how his pillows smelled like me, and how he missed me- right after he made his decision to go to columbia, we assumed we would never see each other again, so i gave him that letter. 

i was surprised to see all of those letters because that meant that he moved them from his apartment in abilene, to new york, to our apartment in new york, back to texas, and then to philly. 

so in turn, i moved them from philly, back to abilene, and now they’re with me in a box in austin. 

and i hope that one day all of the love that i gave to nathan will return to me. 

november 4th, 2019. 12:31am

in the deepest, blackest night of despair if you can get just one pinhole of light, all of grace rushes in.

november 19th, 2019. 2:20am

i’ve started taking up space again.

december 20th, 2019. 1:41pm

y’know, i’ve been doing pretty well for myself lately, and by that i mean that i haven’t had any major meltdowns. well, except for a couple of days ago. it was a christmas party, and as we all know- i’m not great at being social. but i also never turn down an invitation, which is a strange combination of things that happen to exist at the core of my being. but luckily, i got a plus one. see, with a plus one, i have a buffer there. i can bring one of my more interesting friends to carry conversations for me and then by proxy i become more able to socialize because i have to expend less energy by having that buffer there. anyways the person i was bringing as my plus one cancelled two hours before the event which meant that i had no time to try to get someone else to come with me. and this threw me into a major breakdown. i didn’t even want to go to the party at this point, but i had spent so much money on an outfit that if i didn’t go i would have wasted like 60 dollars. and i sat there trying to put makeup on to go but i kept crying and ruining it and then i chugged three white claws before even showing up at the party and i didn’t eat beforehand because there was supposed to be food there but by the time i was done crying and arrived, there was nothing left and then i drank 5 glasses of wine because it was free and i have social anxiety, and somehow i made it through the night without making a fool of myself, which is a miracle. 

the thing is, i really don’t get upset about a lot of things. but if someone cancels or changes plans on me, especially plans that we’d had set for at least a month in advance, i lose my god damn mind. there is historically nothing that upsets me more. 

but this time around, i realized that it really hurt me because it was the first time that i was confronted with the fact that i no longer have anyone in my life that prioritizes me. like, if nathan was begrudgingly my plus one to an event, he can’t get out of it- it’s non-negotiable. but like, i don’t hold that level of importance in anyone else’s life- there’s always something more important to them and uhhhhh that feeling sucks. 

+++

and that was the last note i wrote in 2019. which brings us to january 2020. when i think about my relationship with nathan, i feel like january always ended up being a special month for us. in 2016, january was the first time i ever spent the night with nathan. in 2017, nathan came back to texas to see me for the new year, after we’d been long-distance for five months. at the end of 2017, he went out of town for like three weeks, and i was miserable and all alone for the holidays, but in january 2018, his last day of vacation back home in abilene coincided with my first day of vacation back in abilene so we got to see each other for a little bit instead of having to go an entire month apart during the holidays. 

so i always end up getting weird and do a lot of reminiscing in january- but i feel like that’s kind of universal. 

like the #1 thing that everyone does is get all existential and contemplative when the new year hits. 

+++

in 2018, i never stopped moving. like a shark, i would have died if i stayed in one place for too long. and there i was in 2019, finally staying in one place.

it was a lot easier to ask for help when i had a reason to be sad. but now enough time has passed since nathan died that i feel like a burden when i’m not doing well. 

in my blog post wrapping up 2018, i said that my goal was to be kinder to myself. i also said that 2019 was going to be for starting a new life.

and while i’ve been no kinder to myself, at least i’ve made strides in living in this new phase of my life. in 2019 i moved out of my mother’s house, and back into my best friend’s apartment in austin. i got 3 jobs. i cut off all of my hair and pierced my nose. i started taking up space again. 

a few weeks ago, a coworker of mine told me that she had also lost a partner before. but what stuck with me was when she said, “you will never be the same. you’ll be happy again, and you’ll fall in love again- but you’ll never be the same person again”

and i’m realizing how true that is. 

i think one of the scariest scenarios is waking up one day and not remembering who you are. and that’s exactly what happened to me in 2018. i woke up one day without nathan and couldn’t remember who i was. 

one thing everyone’s been talking about lately is how this is the end of the decade, and i realized that nathan was in my life for the entire decade. he was in my life before the decade even started. and then when he died, i lost such a huge part of my identity. there’s a bear’s den lyric that’s like “i don’t want to know who i am without you,” and that’s what 2019 was for me.

kintsugi is the japanese art of fixing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with a lacquer mixed with powdered gold. i’ve always been a vase held by shaky hands, constantly on the precipice of shattering- and in 2018 i was dropped. in 2019, i’ve been finding tiny pieces of myself and trying to piece them back together to form a whole person again. 

recently, i’ve been realizing all of the little pieces of me that are missing. like the part of me that used to be good at holding conversations with people. and the part of me that had the ability to be a person for more than like 3 hours a day. and the part of me that showed excitement about things. i don’t even know what things excite me anymore? do i have interests or hobbies? not really. one time, i described myself as a robot that powers off if i am not at work, and wow, what an apt description.

the other day, one of my friends called me out about how she can never tell if i’m actually excited about something or not. my language is always very vague and even when i’m really stoked about something, i rarely show excitement about it. 

+++

so now it’s february 2020. it’s been a year and a half since nathan died. i’m feeling better. the other day, i came to the realization that i think my emotions have finally leveled off. i’m back to my normal amount of unstable, rather than that really virulent level that i was at for awhile at the end of last year. it feels good to finally have a little bit of control back over my life. i’ve finally really settled in at work, and i’m starting to feel more confident in my capabilities. 

so what are my goals for 2020? i think the biggest thing is to find something that i care about. honestly, probably a big part of the reason why i’ve been having such a hard time finding a Big Girl Job to settle into is because there’s just nothing that i’m 100% passionate about. it’s hard for me to find an answer other than “i’m just trying to not die,” whenever i get asked “so why do you want this job?” i really want to find lasting stability this year. i’m tired of not being able to enjoy anything because i don’t have money. whoever said money can’t buy happiness obviously was never poor because let me tell you, i’d be a lot happier if i could afford to go out with my friends more often. or if i could like…….eat 3 meals a day without feeling guilty for wasting food because i know i can live on just one meal a day. 

i also started doing a skincare routine that involves like 4 different serums and i’ve been doing really well keeping up with doing it twice a day and if i could carry that energy through the rest of the year that’d be dope. i would make a comment about how i’ve been going to the gym every day and how i’m trying to have a 2020 glo-up but i was going to the gym every day for awhile but i haven’t been in like two weeks. 

also my chemical romance just reunited so i guess my other 2020 goal is to see them on this reunion tour.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Happier (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: This is one of the first requests in my inbox and im sorry it took this long to write this. I just got inspired last mightt. sorryy love youuu

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here. if anyone here like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

MASTERLIST

Walking down 29th and Park I saw you in another’s arms You look happier

“Hey, woah slow down Tae. How many glass have you drank?” Jimin snatched his glass away and Taehyung smirked.

“Oh come on Chim. Its a party. A happy occassion! Shouldnt we be happy too? Let me drink!” He growls and tries to get his glass back but Jimin pull his hand away.

“How long are you going to be this way? Are you going to get drunk everytime you remember her? Everytime theres a couple? A wedding? An engagement? Anything thats reeks happiness or reminds you of love?!”

“Yeah. I am! So what?!” Taehyung growls and sneered at his friend, trying to find another glass.

“Get over her already Kim Taehyung!” Jimin yelled. “Get over Y/N!”

“I cant. Not when she looks so happy in another man’s arm. No one should be able to make her happy like that except for me Chim! No one!” Taehyung sighed and slumped down on the chair.

“But you are the one wbo blew it Tae. Its your own damn fault and you got no one to blame,” Jimim rubs his friend’s back. He knows how heart broken Taehyung is but theres realy no one else to blame but himself. “Now man up. Its a party and you wont ruined it just because you cant see anyone else happy and in love!” Jimin growls and shakes Taehyung’s shoulder. “Shes happier now and you should be happy for her, and thats that,”

Saw you walk inside a bar He said something to make you laugh I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours Yeah, you look happier, you do

Its only been a few months after their fateful breakup that Taehyung saw Y/N again. He saw her in her favorite scarf and beanie, fighting the cold weather, her nose and the tip of her ears slightly pink. Taehyung loves that look on her. He always teased her about it when they were together. Without realizing, his legs has taken him into her direction, wanting nothing more than to tap her shoulder and tell her how much he misses her, but Taehyung never get the opportunity when clumsy as she is, she bumped into someone the moment she walked into the bar, spilling the glasses of beer the man is holding. And before he knows it, the two of them are talking and laughing to the wee hours, the man’s friends forgotten and Taehyung sat alone by the corner, just staring at them.

His last memory of hers… her crying face, her eyes thats filled with pain.. now is replaced by the wide smile on her face, laughing at something the man said. If only Taehyund had walked faster. If only Taehyung grabbed her hand first before she enters the bar, if only she wasnt clumsy. So many ifs but everything is too late when all he can see now is Y/N’s big grin that matches the man as they exchanged phone numbers.

If only he could turn back time and treat her right.

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain’t nobody love you like I do

Y/N and Taehyung has been together for almost 10 years. Well, they will be 10 in a few months and Y/N loves him like no other. Dating an idol was never easy. Especially if the said idol is extremely well known and good looking and she is just a normal girl. Its fate they met and fall in love. Y/N had refused his invitation for drinks multiple times when they first met, but Taehyung was relentless. He keeps showing up and asking her out, and who in the world could resist Kim Taehyung’s charms when he decides to put it to good use on someone. So, after months of persuading and convincing, Y/N finally said yes to a coffee date.

A simple coffee date turns to talking all day long. They laugh, they share their interests, they shared stories, and they even continued their coffee date to a night walk by the Han river which they ended up sitting and talking until the break of dawn. As Taehyung walks Y/N home, he finally finds the courage to ask for her phone number and one simple coffee date turns to lunches, movies, walk in the parks, dinners and on their 10th date, Taehyung finally asks her to officially become his, which Y/N said yes to without hesitation.

Taehyung and Y/N are madly in love, and eventhough they were not allowed to date in public, that didnt seem to stop them as their love for each other burns quite strongly. Y/N believes that no matter what happen, they can take it, just as long as Taehyung continues to love her.

Nine years they have been together. They are in love and happy and Taehyung couldnt have asked for more. Y/N is understanding, beautiful, smart, sweet and everything else he ever wanted in a girl, but Yerin came like a summer breeze in his comfortable winter with Y/N. Hr met when Yerin, a rookie idol, was casted as one of the model for their music video. She is fresh, young, charming and new and for some odd reason, out of the sevem boys, she seemed to be interested in him. Yerin didnt know at first, to the world Taehyung is a single man, and by the time she found out that Taehyung is in a long term serious relationship, she has already fallen too deep in love with him,amd a girlfriend wont stop her efforts in persuing Kim Taehyung.

Relentless and determined to make Taehyung hers, she become his dream girl, his one place to vent about work stress… or when he has fight with Y/N. Tiny unimportant arguments turns into bigger fights led Taehyung to not coming home for days. And Yerin swoop in to take the opportunity and on one drunken night at a bar listening to Taehyung vent about the fights led to sleepless night in her bed, doing things he shouldnt have. One night turns to many, once a week turns to almost everyday and soon enough Taehyung is convinced that he is in love with Yerin too.

So Y/N becomes a punch bag. A person to release his anger on when he got into a fight with Yerin. When he is jealous about Yerin’s intinate closeness with her co star. Smiles and sweet nothings are only whispered in Yerin’s ears and only harsh words of insults and yelling are left for Y/N.

Nine years theu have been together. Ten in a few months, and Y/N knkws something has changed in her relationship Taehyung. Is it her? Did she do something? Did she changed? Is that why Taehyung hates her so much?

Tears dripped down on the cold floor as she kneeled down to pick up the remains of the food that she worked so hard to cook as a surprise for him and scattered pieces of the broken plate that Taehyung threw on the floor earlier before storming out. Just because she asks him where he had been when she calls the dorm and the boys said he were not there. Just because of that one question, Taehyung pushed down everything on the table to the floor in rage before storming off, not coming home for the next three days. Dont even get her started on the harsh words Taehyung said to her every day, cancelling on date nights for no reason at all even when she is already fully dressed and pushing her away when she tries to kiss him. Y/N starts to keep to herself, crying herself to sleep whenever Taehyung stormed off or didnt make it home for the night, keeping quiet when he is around, afraid anything she said will set him off, all the while trying to think of the mistake she did that seems to make Taehyung to stop loving her.

But no matter how she tried, she doesnt know why. Y/N was almost convinced that maybe Taehyung’s love for her has expired. Maybe love does have an expired date after all. After all, they have been together for nearly 10 years, maybe he is bored of her already.

Then one fateful day, when she decides to come home early from work, she finally found out why.

The red stilletos placed neatly in front of the door is definitely not hers. But even with a panic rising in her chest, Y/N tries to reason with herself. Maybe one of the boys comes over to visit Taehyung and brought their girlfriend with them. Yes, that could be it. But the dim lighted house when she entered and the trail of clothes leading to their bedroom are making it hard to believe the reason she just came out with.

The noise she heard as she neared the room is making her thoughts came true and the sight she sees when she pushed open the door slightly confirmed everything.

Y/N covered her mouth with both of her hand as she stood there watching her boyfriend thrusting in and out of a woman she has never seen before. Their loud moans and being lost in pleasure distract them from seeing her there, and with tears running down her face, Y/N turned around and went out from the house, eliminating all traces that she has been there and witness the whole thing.

Maybe its a one time thing. She can forgive a one time thing right? Everyone make mistakes and Taehyung is only human. He loves her. Taehyung still loves her.

Atleast that is what she keeps tellimg herself as she comes home hours later, pretending like nothing happened.

Y/N’s hope and trust that its a one time thing broke into pieces when she starts to caught them multiple times, everywhere. Even worse when she caught Taehyung talking to the girl on the phone, and texting her. Her heart shattered into pieces when she finally heard it. Taehyung’s hush voice, under the blanket.

“I love you Yerin, goodnight angel,”

All this time Y/N pretended not to know that her boyfriend is sleeping with someone else, in her own house too. She pretended not to know, hoping its just a fling, something Taehyung needed to get out from his system. She knows she can forgive him, just as long as he tells her he still loves her.

But telling the other girl he loves her? Y/N knew then that their relationship is over. And she knows just the perfect gift she could give to the man she loves, one last time.

Sat on the corner of the room Everything’s reminding me of you Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you’re happier Aren’t you?

Why didnt he notice her smile that just didnt reached her eyes anymore? Or the way she goes to bed early? Or how she always refuses date night saying shes too exhausted? And her puffy and red eyes like she has been crying all night when she wakes him up for breakfast? Why didnt he see all that?

Taehyung took a swig from the already half empty bottle as he thinks about all the things he should have noticed. Things that showed Y/N already knows about his infidelity. Knows how he already broke her heart.Things he should have done. This is his usual routine whenever they dont have a schedule now, crawled into a corner at a nameless bar where no one would recognize him and drinks up one whole bottle or whatever bottle that he is sober enough to order next, thinking about his memories with Y/N. The good memories, the bad memories, and just memories of her. The way she walks, talks, laugh and smile. The way she always smell, of roses and vanilla, the way she needs to drink a cup of milk before she can fall asleep, the way she loves to dance in the rain. Every single thing reminds Taehyung of Y/N. So he drinks. He keeps on drinking until all theres left are hazy memories of her, and yet, when he wakes up after passing out at some alleyway the next morning, her face is always the first thing that appeared in his mind.

Taehyung shouldnt be this way. He shouldnt even feel this way. He shouldnt even be thinking about Y/N at all. Y/N has found someone new. Someone who can make her laugh better, smile wider, happier even, and she dont need him anymore. But why is it Taehyung needs her more than ever now?

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain’t nobody need you like I do I know that there’s others that deserve you But my darling, I am still in love with you

“T-Taehyung?” Y/N’s sleepy eyes popped wide open when she realized who is at her door at 4 am in the morning, looking drunk as hell and disheveled.

“Baybeeeee,” Taehyung slurred as he stumbled into the door, trying to kiss her but Y/N avoided him.

“Tae go home. Its 4 am and you are drunk,”

“I-Im not drunkkk. I want to see my babybeee,” he giggles and stumbled into the couch.

“Tae…” Y/N sighed. “Just stay there. Ill make some coffee to help you sober up and then maybe you can go home,” Y/N make sure he is safe and comfortable on the couch before heading to the kitchen to make him the coffee and some snacks. By the time she came back, Taehyung is already fast asleep, drooling on her couch. She stood there in front of him, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand, looking at him sadly.

“I guess… we just have to talk tomorrow then. Sleep well Taehyung,”

/////

“Hey… how are you feeling?” Taehyung feels like he has woken up in heaven when the first thing he sees is Y/N’s face smiling in front of him if its not for the killer headache attacking his head right at that moment.

“Like dying,” he groans out. Y/N giggles at his answer and even then he feels his heart skipped a beat from the sound.

“I know. You are hangover. Drink this. It will help,” she pushes a glass of hot beverage in front of him and some pills. “And I made breakfast too. Eat up before you go okay,” the thought of Y/N making him breakfast sends his heart into a frenzy but then he remembers her next words, ‘before you go’ . Right. They are no longer together. He can no longer lounge and watch TV with her, legs tangling together after breakfast or his favorite, making sweet sweet love to her. Y/N belongs to someone else now. And he needs to go after he eats breakfast.

“Yeah.. thanks,” he takes a sip of the drink and swallow his pills. “I take it I was drunk and showed up at your house at late hours last night?”

“4 am to be exact,” she smiles.

“I’m really sorry Y/N,”

“Its okay Tae. It happens. I understand. Eat up and sober up okay? Your brothers must be worried about you,” she smiles again and start to get up but Taehyung stop her by pulling her hand.

“No. Theres no possible way that you can understand Y/N,” he looks at her straight in the eye. “You wont be able to understand how much I miss you, need you,”

“Taehyung, dont,” Y/N tries to shake her hand loose but to no avail.

“Please Y/N…”

“I-I dont know what you are asking from me. Taehyung we are over. I have met someone new now,” Y/N tries to shake her hand off again. “Tae… I’m happy with him,” Her words were like a blade to Taehyung’s heart. “You know I’m happy with him,”

“Y/N… I know you deserve to be happy. I know theres someone out there that deserves you more than me, that can treat you better, love you better…” he trailed off, hoping for a reaction.

Y/N just kept quiet, finally able to take her hand back after Taehyung let it go.

“But Y/N… give me a chance. You have loved me before. You can love me again. I will treat you the way you really deserve Y/N. Please…,” Taehyung begged, his eyes wide. “Y/N… I still love you. I am still so in love with you. I cant forget you. I cant move on from you,”

“Tae… please dont do this,” Y/N sniffles, tears threatening to fall down. “You know I love you before Tae. You are everything to me,” she cups his face. “But its over. You didnt choose me. So I chooses someone new Tae. And this breakup is the only gift I could give you,”

I could try to smile to hide the truth I know I was happier with you

“Happy anniversary Kim Taehyung. I cant believe its our 10th year together now,” Y/N smiles at him and Taehyung smiles back. God, he misses that smile. So beautiful. A smile that never fails to make all his bad days turns good again. That smile that never leave her face no matter how bad Taehyung treated her all this years. Abandoned her, keeping her a secret, yells at her, making her a punching bag, push her around, hurt her… everything bad he did, she only replied with that smile.

Why am I so stupid? Taehyung thought to himself. He already have the perfect angel bestowed upon him and all he do is take her for granted and hurt her. I’m never going to make her cry out of sadness ever again. Ever. I’m going to make it right this time. Who am I kidding? No one will ever be able to make as happy as she is. Y/N is the only one for me. Forever and always. I’m at my happiest only when I’m with her, and I’ll keep it that way.

Yerin was a mistake. He never loved her. He realized that now. Everything he did with her is out of lust, and blinded feelings. Y/N deserves better. Y/N is the only girl for him and he knows that now. Taehyung just hopes that he is not too late.

“Happy anniversary baby,” Taehyung closes the gap between them and hold her hand. He leans in to give her a kiss but Y/N titlted her head, avoiding it, making Taehyung confused. “Baby? Everything okay?”

“Everything is more than okay. Its great even,” Y/N smiles again, but her smile is sad this time. Taehyung furrowed her brows. Whats happening? He starts to panics when tears starts falling down her cheeks softly, but the smile still etched across her face.

“T-then why are you crying baby?”

“N-nothing. I’m just going to give you your present okay?”

“Okay. But wait!” Taehyung reached on the table and take the gift box that he had wrapped so carefully. “Open mine first. Its not much baby but I promise everything is changing starting now. That present is just the beginning,” he grins, knowing Y/N couldnt possibly understand what he is talking about.

“I…” Y/N looks down, not moving to take the box. “Just… I want to give you my present first okay Taehyung?”

“O-okay then baby. What is it?”

“I’m afraid its not something material,” she smiles. “But I know you will love it,”

“Really? What is it baby?” Taehyung smiles warmly at her. “Whatever it is you are giving me, I will like it anyway. Because it came from you,”

Y/N smiles and didnt say anything, moving closer to him and take his hand, her thumb carresing the back of his hand before the other carressed his cheeks. Her eyes look into his deeply, as if trying to remember his face one last time. Taehyung feels panic rising in his chest but keeps on smiling.

“My gift for you Taehyung, is a bit special. Since its our 10 years anniversary,” she looks down for a moment before lifting her eyes to look back into his, glazed with tears. “I’m giving you your freedom,”

“What do you mean? What freedom?”

“I’m breaking up with you Tae,” Y/N smiles softly, tears are again cascading down her cheeks.

“Breaking up?! What?! Baby no! I-”

“Listen to me!” Y/N raised her hand to stop him from talking. “I’m breaking up with you Tae, so you dont have to. I know about you and Yerin and I also know about how long it has been going on,” Taehyung felt all the blood is gone from his face as he tries to grab Y/N’s hand but she flinched away. “I’m giving you freedom from me Tae. So you dont have to cheat anymore. Go to her,”

“Baby no! I’m sorry!” Taehyung is also crying now. “Baby, I swear. Its a mistake. I-”

“Its not a mistake when it has been going on for more than a year Tae,” Y/N gave him a small smile. “I can see your face Tae. Your exhaustion whenever you are with me. How forced you feel when you have to come back to me when all you want is to be with her, right? Its alright. This is my final gift to you. You dont have to feel bad anymore. And I wont put this against you,” Y/N nods and pulls out something from behind the couch, her luggage that Taehyung recognized so well. He recognized because they bought it together. The stickers on it a reminder of all the places they have been together, creating memories, but now all torned up, leaving the surface if the luggage empty. Is she throwimg all their memories away?

“No. No! I’m not letting you go! Y/N, I’m sorry. I know. I know my mistake is too huge to be forgiven, but give me a chance to redeem myself. Just dont leave me, plesse baby,” he pleaded, begging desperately.

“I cant do that Tae. Every night when you didnt come home I cried in my bed, my head spinning, thinking if you are with her tonight. Thinking if you are doing the things you used to do with me. Are you happy with her? Are you sleeping soundly in her arms? I cant do that anymore Tae. I’m sorry but I cant,”

“I swear Y/N. Its over. Its really is over! Its you. You are the one I want. The one I love!” Taehyung tries to pull her back when she tries to wheel her luggage out the door.

“Tae.. I keep on thinking, wondering. Is there anything else that I could have done, that I should have do to prevented you from doing it… but I cant think of anything. I have given you my everything Tae bur its not enough,” Y/N sobs. “I realized it now. Im not enough. A-and this is the last thing I can give you to proof how much I love you,”

“If you love me, please dont go Y/N. Please dont. I will change. Ill do anything you want, please Y/N. I love you, I love you,” Taehyung is already on his knees, hugging her waist but she peeled off his hands that di wrapped around her.

“You dont love me Tae. If you do you wouldnt have done it. There must be something about her that makes you keep coming back… and I’m giving you the freedom to enjoy that with her. That is my last gift to you,” Y/N pushed his hands away and with tear stricken face turn to him one last time. “Happy anniversary Tae, you know I love you, but my love alone is not enough. You will be happier without me. Goodbye my love,”

And with that, Y/N walks out, never looking back.

Baby, you look happier, you do I knew one day you’d fall for someone new But if he breaks your heart like lovers do Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you

“Its been years Tae… you need to accept the fact that Y/N is happy and she is getting married okay?” Jimin sympathetically looks at his friend. “You want her to be happy dont you? And look at her Tae,” Jimin points to the front, where the main couple of the engagement party stood. “She looks so happy. Jungkook makes her happy, and you know that. He treats her right. She has been happy ever since she met Kookie at the bar,”

Taehyung look at the newly engaged couple in front of the room, Jungkook pulling Y/N, his now fiancee, in for a kiss as she blushes shyly and gave a weak smile towards Jimin.

“She doesnt just look happy Chim,” Taehyung said, making Jimin turned to him,curious as to what his friend is going to say. “She looks extremely happier. Happier than she ever did with me… and thats a good thing right?” Taehyung finishes off his glass in one gulp. “But I’ll be here Chim. I’ll be waiting for her here, forever. And if I ever be given the chance again, then I’ll make her even happier than that,”

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[terrablaze514]

Being Black + R. Kelly, Living With Secrets, and Writing Catatonic Fanfics

Hey everyone.

I'm up extra early, because this is bugging my mind and heart right now. The words might leave if I don't voice (write) it.

In a few hours, I'll be going to church again. Christian, yes. Predominantly Black, you've guessed it. Both of these cancel each other out. Why?

Despite my suspicions growing up, the vast majority of Black people I knew (family, friends, acquaintances, etc.) were still jamming to R. Kelly's music. It makes all the more sense why he's known as, "The Pied Piper", and that's scary as buck if you stop to think about it.

I've never understood why he was permitted to keep making music. Why the buck does Wendy Williams still have an audience? Why did 2Pac and Michael Jackson get destroyed by false allegations (until their sunset), while R. Kelly is still a free man in the music industry with proof of sexual deviance in multiple court cases?

I was 7 when I was molested by a grown woman. I couldn't approach my parents about it, because she became a close friend to my mother, got closer to other notable family friends, and I was already misunderstood at school and church (Grade 2 was a horrible year). My parents were also coming to terms with their breakup, so it didn't help (because what if they had another physical altercation?). Top that with the ongoing belief that men were innately predators...

October 2018, I've had a nightmare of her stalking me while visiting my hometown (the 514) - woke up in a sweat, purchased Black Panther on Google Play Movies, and watched the movie until my eyes shut again... Because mentally, I needed to feel safe. I wanted Wakanda's protection. And I ended up getting it in my dreams (occasionally). M'Baku and The Jabari Tribe are the best!

Back on topic... So, while I'm happy that justice is happening, I'm also disappointed. Deeply disappointed in The Black Community for sweeping this issue under the rug.👏🏾Every.👏🏾 Single.👏🏾Time.👏🏾 I understand firsthand why it's hard to come forward. Allow me to explain (and these are some of the reasons why going to church is a farce in my book).

I've shared with a few Gundam Wing fans (via Discord) that I've sung in three choirs (four if school curriculum counts). To this day, I still jam to my favourite songs and sing as a secret means to calm down when times are too stressful (and if I have no access to a pen and notebook). So why bring this up? Simply put, during my tenure in the third choir, I was spanked and grabbed on the buttocks for holding the door open for an elderly man. [This isn't funny, so if you're laughing, check yourself or leave my blog ASAP]. Not only did this trigger my fear and cripple my confidence as a young adult, but I wasn't able to focus. I've felt scared... Moreso when I've relayed the incident to a few choir members. They've laughed it off, because it sounded funny to them.

It didn't help that this also happened a week after one of my closest friends had died from cancer (and I couldn't make it to his funeral). So being forced to laugh it off, take it with a grain of salt, and keeping it moving wasn't easy. Also, being Black means you don't cry. "Stay strong," is all people would ever say.

I've also been approached and stalked by some strange men, around my age (no older than 27). I'd be waiting at the bus stop so I can commute to work. Strange man shows up, and requests (to the point of begging) that I take the taxi with him. One week later, he begs me to skip work and come over to his place. For what, only God knows. I didn't go, but I've sent text messages to friends. The majority of them found it funny - except one, who also called to check up on me. If it were up to him, he'd drive across town and set the stalker straight.

That was then.

There was a fellow co-worker (cisgender woman) who used to touch, or feel up my inner thighs and buttocks without my consent, and in the presence of customers. How many times have I reported her, yet supervisors promoted her, and would say, "That's her way of giving people props."

What the heck?

Then, by the time I was 25, I've reached my breaking point despite graduating from college and acquiring two careers to call my own. My physical appearance (gaining weight), marital status ("let's find a boyfriend for you on WhatsApp Messenger"), and popularity were the only things that mattered. Damn it all to the grave.

Dating prospects were more like, groomers. And they were all Christian Churchians.💯 I've never given up the V-card, but I've tried to fit in to the point of mental starvation and social exhaustion. In the worst case scenario, I've heard adults (including a parent) poke rape jokes. What's so funny about that?

We sure as hell did not deserve Aaliyah, because the ignorance is real.

I've ended up writing a fanfic project that deals with the music industry, and emphasizes deep comparisons between a good rep team versus an evil rep team, by pulling bits and pieces of experiences by real artists, as well as my "inability to be more transparent/speak up/get out of my shell", and conceptions of what could go wrong if there was no access to a healthy outlet... Combined them into the realities of the characters I'm borrowing. It's still in progress; I'm a perfectionist, yet, the story needs to be told.

There's a second project where two cousins grow up together in the kingdom, get separated after the death of a family member, and the elder cousin searches for his bestie in America. Friendships are formed, but there's also a rampant rape culture against girls in the community where his cousin took residence... Pedophiles will get killed after witnessing the dismissal of reports by police. Go figure.

Writing these types of things, is an outlet. I don't condone abuse, murder, things of that dark nature, but honestly. I grew up in a rape culture. I need a healthy way to deal with (process) that.

Talking about it to people is only safe enough in therapy sessions. Outside of that, get laughed at. Mocked. Told that You deserve it (or did something to deserve it).

I've contemplated suicide last month. Resurfaced memories do more harm than good... And even if I followed through on December 29th (I'm glad I didn't), everything in this post, especially the woman predator who was a babysitter, is the secret I would've taken to my grave. Who could I talk to without feeling unsafe or unwelcome? Without laughing it off in a dismissive manner? Without assuming that I've done something to deserve it, like forgetting to pull on my panties first?

No one.

I've been taught that my big butt, juicy thighs, bust... Yet fat belly, rolls on my back, and somewhat bouncy arms, are something to be ashamed of. From 14 to 23, I used to sport Beyoncé's figure (used to be slimmer)... Yet I still had to feel guilty for embracing that, because if I didn't cover up... If I walked out late... If I didn't keep up with trends... if I didn't turn up for what... If I didn't drop it like it's hot, turn around and bump bump bump, my body too bootylicious for 'em, 'cause if it's worth it lemme work it... And whenever I did these things...

I am guilty.

Now that I'm older, and I don't do these things as often...

I am still guilty.

Because I grew up in a community and a society that hates rapists and pedophiles while making excuses for rapists and pedophiles if I spoke up. If other girls and women spoke up. If boys and men came forward with their true accounts without receiving homophobic comments, or the overused, "You became a real man, congratulations!" Canada's Supreme Court will not keep a sex predator behind bars for more than ten years. That's all the additional proof you need.

The hypocrisy was real, and it still is.

There was an incident where a little girl complained about a church elder touching her... No one believed her.

Later on in my teens, a teenage boy was falsely accused of sexual harassment, and everyone believed the lie (except his closest friends, whom told her to stop following them around).

Another church elder (and a Bible thumper), fondled my breasts out of spite - and my mother blamed me! The next time I've seen that elder, I've set her straight, but who the hell am I for talking? She's still the most respected because she knows every scripture passage, from Genesis to Revelation, and also knows every volume, word for word, from The Spirit of Prophecy. So she has no sin...

THE LIES!

I was nervous shaky the entire time.

So growing up Black, in a church community, as a girl (now a woman) had many catastrophes. I'm not crazy for putting this out there, just keeping it real. I'll be in church in approximately less than three hours from now, and if anyone cracks jokes or makes demeaning comments about R. Kelly's current and former victims, talking about how they're fast, and how they should've come forward... Nah, Hollywood gets away with sexual deviance against minors. A large percentage of them have bought R. Kelly's music, at music stores and on iTunes/Google Play Music. No surprise, huh? As much as I love my church family, I cannot accommodate the ignorance that's gone on for my whole life so far. *Sigh* This has blackened my heart, I just... I am at a loss, not only for R. Kelly's victims, but every child and youth who will be targeted by men and women who cannot be trusted.

I will always support Black Empowerment, Black Lives Matter and Black History... But I have zero tolerance for the enabling of pedophiles and rapists. Even the jokes. It's distasteful.

If you are a supporter/apologist of R. Kelly, Sparkle, Marques Houston, and any other person who'd used/subjected minors to assault and/or grooming, get off my page. And stop pretending to be a huge Aaliyah fan... We've lost her because the adults in her life had failed in exchange for her fame. We also owe Michael Jackson's family an apology for destroying his character and career under false allegations, while R. Kelly was still a free man, preying on girls and grooming boys to become like him... And all the evidence of his crimes were readily available on the archives while I was in Junior High. While we're at it, Kitti Jones and Drea Kelly need to take several seats. They've had every opportunity to approach the police. They've known what R. Kelly did to all those girls and how it's destroyed their youth. They are the poorest examples of how to put sex offenders in their place, just so they can get money now that #MeToo (who never gave a damn about half of your experiences, unless you were penetrated by a man)... Nuh-uh! The lives that were destroyed by rape, molestation, grooming and exploitation matter more than the money anyone might make from a case that should've been dealt with decades ago! My heart is very heavy throughout this post. I know it's Sabbath hours, but I'm currently listening to "Don't Stay" by Linkin Park, because it truly reflects my thoughts and memories, in the wake of #SurvivingRKelly.

Everyone (especially Black people) who put on R. Kelly during weddings and birthday celebrations, I've taken notes. You will not be trusted around my future children (if it's meant to be). I've never healed, yet. The community does not offer a safe space to heal from the damage that's been done. So when I hear about Chester Bennington (Linkin Park -I hope I spelled his name right), AJ and Nick (Backstreet Boys - their parents stood up for their sons), B2K (especially Raz-B), IMx, Sammy, O'Ryan, the victim of Brock Turner, a few victims of Bill Cosby and that actor from 7th Heaven, the young girl who was sexually assaulted and exploited by that loser who was granted a chance to finish up his studies at UofC (University of Calgary), Natasha McKenna who was stripped, dehumanized and tasered in her last moments by eight men, the former victims of Eddie Long who were forcibly silenced, the girl who was raped, hospitalized and raped again in the hospital by her father and brother... This is real ish. I have no more words. Leave my page if you support R. Kelly... Special shoutout to John Legend for keeping it real. Another special shoutout to Terry Crews who spoke up. To the victims of Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, you also need to get your voices heard, because you also matter. To the victims of Ryan Seacrest, the same also applies. May Corey Haim Rest in Power, because Charlie Sheen is getting his just reward for what he did decades ago. Although I'm glad B2K is reuniting for tour, I've been conflicted with how R. Kelly wrote your popular hits. That wasn't your fault, though. Your former manager (Chris Stokes - another pedophile) had that set up for your grooming - good thing y'all left TUG behind when you did. Other artists and notable faces in the entertainment industry - you don't have to comment, but I beseech you to STOP collaborating with R. Kelly. What he did to those girls is beyond me. If you keep enabling him, you're now guilty for proving that rape is okay.

It is not.💯

#r. kelly #terrablaze514 #memories #true story #surviving r. kelly

[uglysantas]

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Hanes has partnered with adopt a Heritage Not Hate Flag T-Shirt Hoodie Sweatshirt soldier platoon and sent a fresh supply of t shirts socks and underwear to the wounded marines in afghanistan’s camp leatherneck it s hard to express how much we appreciate your incredible sacrifice and the sacrifice of all our country s brave men and women this day is for you. Line and define the latest in 90 s revival dark lips give your pout some definition with two new darker shades of our lip liner blending brush just 3. So this is going to be a bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn

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[freeyourheartandsoul]

Happier.

Prompt: Ed Sheeran’s “Happier”; Character: Stiles - @deepblueo-cean

Warning: mention of an abusive relationship.

Author’s Note: I fell in love with this song! Thanks for reading and for requesting! :)

Master List.

Happier.

Walking down 29th and park I saw you in another's arms Only a month we've been apart You look happier Saw you walk inside a bar He said something to make you laugh I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours Yeah you look happier, you do

Stiles rounded the corner towards his favorite bar to meet up with a few of his friends from the pre-FBI program. They had planned to meet up to celebrate surviving their final exam as they awaited their results. They all worked their asses off to not only complete their ten-week Honors Internship Program, but also double-down and maintain their college work. A night off to celebrate was well deserved, and much needed. Stiles couldn’t wait to just unwind and relax for the night.

Stress free, that’s the night he wanted, no, needed.

As he prepared to cross the street, a familiar face walking down the sidewalk he was going to caught his eye and he stopped in his tracks. Her. Arm and arm with someone new. Her long, chestnut hair blowing behind them. Her gorgeous smile on full display. It was a smile he hadn’t seen in what felt like ages.

(Y/N) broke up with him a month ago – a month and fifteen days, but who’s counting – after two and a half years together because she was tired of feeling like she was competing with school and the FBI. He didn’t blame her, though. She was right. He had canceled numerous dates, his attention was always elsewhere than on her when they were together, and he had just overall become a crappy boyfriend the last year they were together. It wasn’t because he didn’t try, though. He really did try to make an effort, spreading himself thin to get the grades, the job, and be a stellar boyfriend.

Why? Because he loved her.

Even though she knew what she was signing up for when they first got together, it all became too much for her. At least, that’s what she told him in the parking lot of her apartment complex that muggy night. Stiles had it all planned out. He bailed on his study group, made reservations at her favorite restaurant, bought her flowers, and even left his phone behind, all to make up for the last few missed dates. It wasn’t enough for her, though. After dinner, when he drove her back to her place, she ended things before they even stepped out of the car.

Now, as he watched her walk into his favorite bar with another man as they both laughed hysterically – clearly the happiest she’s been in a while –, Stiles only hoped that ruining his relationship was all worth it.

Because damn did he miss her.

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain't nobody love you like I do Promise that I will not take it personal baby If you're moving on with someone new Cause baby you look happier, you do My friends told me one day I'll feel it too And until then I'll smile to hide the truth But I know I was happier with you

What was supposed to be a fun and relaxing night for Stiles and his buddies, turned into a sulk fest for himself. His friends knew as soon as they saw him walk in minutes after her how he was feeling too, so they tried to keep his mind – and eyes – off (Y/N). No matter how hard he tried, or how much he drank, though, there wasn’t enough liquor in that bar to stop himself from thinking about how badly he screwed up. He had done pretty well the last month and a half not thinking about it, or even her, by doing what he does best – burying himself in studies and the internship. He kept himself busy and away from any reminders of her or what they had.

Everything was all fine and dandy until he saw her again, then his mind was flooded with his own stupidity and trying to pinpoint exactly where things went wrong. So, as he tried not to stare across the bar and watch her laugh, smile and goof around with another guy, he couldn’t blame her for moving on with someone who put her before work and school. He knew it was only a matter of time before she did, he’d just hoped that he didn’t have to witness it only a month out of their relationship.

Suddenly, Stiles was caught. (Y/N)’s eyes locked with his for the slightest of minutes, and he knew he was in trouble. He tried to play it off and quickly look away, but next thing he knew she and her new boyfriend were standing right beside him at his table. Damn it, he thought to himself.

“Hey, guys.” (Y/N) said sweetly with a genuine smile on her face. She had always gotten along with Stiles’ friends, so he wasn’t surprised that she’d come over to say hi to them. They all nodded their heads and said their hellos, but Stiles just stared down at his beer, not sure what to do. “Hey, Stiles,” she finally said, and he could feel her staring at him.

Stiles finally looked up at her with a soft smile, “hey.” He responded before taking one last swig of his beer. “Excuse me.” He said as he stood up and headed toward the bar to get another drink.

Not long after he sat down on a stool and gestured for the bartender for another bottle, his buddy Jake sat beside him and did the same thing. He didn’t say a word though until the bartender handed them their beers. “You’ll find that again one day.”

“What are you talking about?” Stiles played dumb before taking a swig of his fresh beer.

“Listen man, you don’t have to pretend with me. I know how much it must suck to see (Y/N) here with someone new, clearly happy with the stupid frat boy. I can tell you this, though – it won’t last. And when it does end, she’ll come crying back to you, begging for forgiveness, but you’ll be happier and in love with someone new.” Stiles just stared forward and nursed his beer as Jake rambled on about how Stiles would be happier without (Y/N).

The problem was, Stiles didn’t want anyone else. No matter how much he smiled politely and hid the truth, he’d always know that he was happier with (Y/N), no matter how many months pass. He knew that for a fact. She was the one, and he had even planned on popping the question once they both graduated. Coincidentally, and unfortunately, they weren’t far from that. If only she could have held on for a few more months.

“Hey,” her voice cut through his thoughts and Jake’s rambling. “Jake, can you give us a minute?” She asked after sitting down beside Stiles. He still hadn’t looked at her.

“Sure.” Jake said before standing up and patting Stiles on the shoulder as he walked back to their table.

Stiles took another swig of his cold beer as he stared blankly in front of him. “That wall of liquor must be prettier than me.” (Y/N) said noticing that he hadn’t looked her way since she sat down beside him. He didn’t budge or say anything, just took another swig. “What? So, you can stare at me across the room all night but you can’t look at me when I’m sitting right beside you wanting to talk?”

He released a breath and finally turned to face her, putting on the best fake smile he could muster. “What do you want to talk about?”

(Y/N) stared at him for a minute longer than she probably should have. “The guys told me you all just finished your final exam. I bet that’s a big weight off your shoulders, huh?”

A chuckle escaped at the irony of her question, “yeah, I guess you could say that. Just waiting on the results now.”

She smiled sincerely at him. The smile that first caught his eye. The smile that still sent shivers down his spine. “I’m sure you did great, Stiles. You worked really hard for this. There’s no way you didn’t pass with flying colors.” She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, “I’m proud of you, ya know?”

Stiles swallowed hard at her touch. “Thanks, (Y/N). That really means a lot.”

(Y/N)’s smile never faltered. If anything, it only grew wider as their eyes locked. “Can you believe we’re graduating soon?” She asked as she shook her head. She always became a lush when she got a few drinks in her.

The question only reminded him of the proposal that’s no longer happening, which in turn, only reminded him of their failed relationship. So, he cleared his throat and changed the subject. “So, uh, you look happy.” He said gesturing toward her boyfriend who was now chatting it up with Stiles’ friends. Okay, maybe not the best subject change there, Stiles.

She eyed him for a minute, confused by the awkward change of subject, but she went along with it. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” She responded, mimicking his words from minutes before with a small smile on her face as she glanced toward her boyfriend.

Stiles nodded his head with a soft smile plastered on his face. “Good. That’s all I want for you, (Y/N).”

Their eyes locked once again, and you could see the sadness on both their faces as they both thought about what they once shared. “That’s all I want for you too, Stiles. I really mean that.” (Y/N) once again reached out and touched his shoulder, her emerald eyes never leaving his whiskey colored ones.

He almost got caught up in the moment. Almost.

He cleared his throat as he stood. “I, uh… I gotta go. Will you tell the guys I’ll see them tomorrow or something?”

“Um… sure.” (Y/N) answered before he quickly kissed her cheek and walked out of the bar, leaving her caught off guard and confused.

Stiles could only plaster on a smile around her for so long. He knew if he hadn’t left, he would either get too caught up in the moment, or he would lose his cool and say things he didn’t mean. As he stepped out into the muggy summer night air, he ran a hand through his hair and let out a long, deep breath. Thankfully he didn’t drive. The walk back to his apartment would sober him up and clear his head.

Sat in the corner of the room Everything's reminding me of you Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier Aren't you? Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain't nobody need you like I do I know that there's others that deserve you But my darling I am still in love with you But I guess you look happier, you do My friends told me one day I'll feel it too I could try to smile to hide the truth But I know I was happier with you

That night at the bar only sent Stiles into a downward spiral that not even graduating with honors could raise his spirits. Sleepless nights left him feeling like a zombie during his final few weeks as a college student. It probably didn’t help that he holed himself up in his apartment instead of going out with his friends even when they begged him to. Booze, takeout and video games became his greatest companions. He couldn’t even be bothered to shave.

As he sat in his favorite chair and looked around his apartment that now had trash scattered about, memories suddenly bombarded him. The way she floated around the small kitchen when she cooked her specialty French toast or baked his favorite chocolate chip cookies. All the times they cuddled up on the couch to binge watch shows she insisted he watch or movies she had never seen. Photographs that she took of her favorite places she’d ever been to still hang on the walls. Their favorite movie and tour posters lined the hallway. Her favorite hoodie of his still smelled like her in his closet because he refused to wear it again. The first time they spoke “I love you” in his bed after staying up half the night confessing their deepest fears and secrets. Not to mention the actions that followed those three words.

Every memory still haunted him nearly three months after she abruptly ended it all, and yet Stiles still couldn’t bring himself to take any of it down or leave. All he could do was sit there, remember, drink and sulk. He gripped the empty bottle in his hand before throwing it as hard as he could at the wall opposite him, angry at himself for letting her slip through his fingers. As the bottle shattered against the wall, symbolic of their relationship he believed, he reminded himself that she told him that she was happy, and that was the only thing he wanted more than her.

He pulled out his phone and opened the Facebook app that he rarely uses before pulling up (Y/N)’s account like the stalker ex-boyfriend he is. But is it really stalking when technically they’re still friends on there? Stiles didn’t care. He only got on it to see for certain that she was indeed happy. He never interacted, only scrolled through her profile every now and then. Seeing photos with friends (including the new boyfriend) and seeing her status updates was all the confirmation he needed.

As if (Y/N) saw that he was on her profile, a message popped up from her in his messenger app. The simple hey caught him completely off guard. He swallowed hard as he sat up straighter, contemplating if he should message her back or not.

(Y/N): You know it says when you’ve read the message, right? And it says you’re still online.

Stiles: Sorry. Just a little caught off guard.

(Y/N): I haven’t seen you around lately, and I just wanted to say congrats. Jake told me you made it into the FBI! I’m so proud of you. I told you that you could do it :)

Stiles: you keeping tabs on me now ;)

He wasn’t sure where that came from, the need to banter with her like they used to, but he couldn’t resist for some reason. Even though he knew it would probably only cause him more pain.

Stiles: but thanks

(Y/N): you’re gonna go far, Stilinski, just you wait and see :)

Stiles: Right back at you, journalist :)

(Y/N): Ha! I have to have a job to be an actual journalist

Stiles: technicality

(Y/N): I’ve missed this… talking to you like we used to.

It took a minute for Stiles to think of what to say to that. She had caught him off guard once again. What was he supposed to make of that message? Why would she say something like that? Damn she knew how to get to him. Just as he was about to tap out a response, another message from her popped up.

(Y/N): Oops! I didn’t realize what time it was. I have to go finish getting ready for my date. Talk to you later?

Just like that, the high from their conversation was gone and his heart dropped. Without hesitation, he closed the messenger app and deleted it and the Facebook app from his phone. He couldn’t do that to himself again. She had too much of a hold on him. He hurt her and she deserved better, but he was still in love with her – that message exchange was proof of that. Stiles didn’t just want her, he needed her. Unfortunately, she didn’t need him.

Stiles threw his head back with a deep sigh. “She’s happier without you, Stiles. You know that. Get over it.” He told himself as he rubbed his hands on his face.

“Damn. I thought my apartment was bad.” A familiar voice said out of nowhere.

Stiles quickly lifted his head up and saw none other than his best friend, Scott McCall, standing in front of the now open door of his apartment with a grin. He hadn’t even heard the door open. Scott dropped his duffle bag on the floor and shut the door behind him. Stiles looked around the disaster that had become his living space and scrunched his face as he scratched his un-brushed hair. “Yeaah… it’s pretty bad, huh?”  

“Yeah, and your apartment isn’t the only thing.” Scott responded, gesturing at his best friend who looked like he hadn’t showered or slept in days. “Dude, what the hell happened?” He asked as he walked to the couch adjacent to Stiles’ chair and took a seat.

Stiles sighed. “I told you about (Y/N) breaking up with me.”

Scott nodded, “yeah, but you seemed fine when we all visited for spring break a couple weeks after. Something happen you haven’t told me about?”

“Right. I forgot to tell you we ran into each other at a bar a few weeks ago.” Stiles paused for a second. “She was with her new boyfriend.”

Scott winced, “ouch. I’m sorry, man.”

“Oh, but wait, it gets better.” Stiles continued, holding up his hand. “She talked to me alone and assured me I would pass with flying colors, said she was proud of me, and then we had a moment after I told her that all I wanted was for her to be happy, which she is by the way… with her new boyfriend.” His rambling was slurred a little. “Then a few minutes ago, after not seeing or speaking to her since that night and basically becoming a hermit, she messages me on Facebook – while I’m creeping her page for some stupid reason – and we banter for a minute like we used to, and guess what she tells me…”

Stiles looked at Scott like he was literally waiting on him to guess. “Um… congrats on making it into the FBI?”

“No! Wait, yes, that too, but then she goes and says that she’s missed us talking like we used to. I mean, seriously? How’s a guy supposed to move on?” He exaggerated with flailing arms

“Okay. That’s it.” Scott stood up from the couch and then pulled Stiles up from his chair and started pushing him down the hall toward the master bathroom.

“What are you doing?”

“Being your best friend and getting you out of this funk. You smell like B.O., pizza and beer. And you’re sounding like that guy from Modern Family on the commercial for laundry detergent. We’re going out tonight because you made it into the friggin FBI, Stiles. You shouldn’t be sulking around this nasty apartment. Now sober your ass up and take a shower,” Scott said before shoving Stiles into the bathroom and shutting the door on him.

---

Half an hour later, Stiles walked out of the hallway looking like himself again. “There he is! That’s the Stiles Stilinski I know.” Scott said with a grin as he picked up the beer bottles scattered about the kitchen. He had already straightened up the living room.

“Ha. Ha. Real funny.” Stiles responded as he sat on a stool at the bar counter.

“Hey, I’m serious. You looked pretty rough, man.” Scott tossed Stiles a water bottle from the fridge.

“Well, you can blame (Y/N) and her new boyfriend for that.” Stiles said before taking a sip of the water.

Scott nodded a little. “Okay, but I thought you said as long as she’s happy, you’re happy for her? And you said she looks happy. So, what’s the problem?”

Stiles sighed getting frustrated. “The problem is she’s not just happy, Scott. She’s happier – as in happier than she was with me. When I saw her at the bar that night, she laughed and smiled with him. I hadn’t seen her like that in a long time.” He paused for a minute. “I screwed up. I let school and the program interfere, and she slipped right through my fingers. Now, she’s happier with that frat boy, and I’m sulking because I’m still in love with the girl.”

By now, Scott had stopped picking up trash to really listen to his best friend. He felt bad for Stiles. He knew what he was going through, and it’s hard. “You’ll get that again, Stiles. You’ll find someone new, and you’ll be happier with her than you ever were with (Y/N). Sometimes it just takes a bit longer. Take it from someone who’s been in your shoes.”

Stiles shook his head as he looked at Scott. “That’s the thing, I can put on a smile in front of everyone and pretend that I’m happy for her and that I’ve moved on, but I know I won’t unless it’s with her. Hell, I was planning on marrying the girl, Scott.”

Scott was taken back by the confession. He knew Stiles was in love with (Y/N), but he had no idea he had planned on marrying her. Now he understood why his best friend was in such a funk over the break up. As he watched Stiles peel at the wrapper on the water bottle, he could literally smell the chemo-signals of his regular anxiety mixed with loss and heartbreak radiating off him.

Baby you look happier, you do I knew one day you'd fall for someone new But if he breaks your heart like lovers do Just know that I'll be waiting here for you

Nearly a year after the breakup, Stiles had finally managed to push (Y/N) to the back of his mind and the depths of his heart. He’d taken down the photographs and posters, boxed any memory of her away and put it in storage. He even moved to a different apartment building once his lease was up. He didn’t delete her from his friends list or followers, but he avoided his social media feed as much as he possibly could. Instead, he buried himself in his work with the FBI. It’s not like it was hard, ninety percent of the time he was neck deep in cases anyway.

The other ten percent of the time, Stiles kept himself busy. Whether it be with new hobbies, hanging out with his friends, getting some much-needed sleep, he even went on a couple dates here and there. It was the only way he knew how to move on, and so far, it had worked. His mind stayed occupied enough not to think about her… not to miss her. He had managed to fill the void, if only temporarily.

However, that’s not to say he didn’t have moments where he caught himself itching to check in on her to make sure she’s still happy without him. Like right now as he sat in the diner across from his building and his thumb hovered over her Facebook profile picture – of her and the boyfriend, tempted to click it. He tapped the photo before he talked himself out of it. He just needed to make sure to ease the sinking feeling he’d had in the pit of his stomach lately that something was wrong with her.

He wasn’t prepared, however, for the blaring new update that was all over her profile. She was engaged. He saw it in the relationship status update. He saw it more clearly in her profile picture that was an engagement shot, and another as the cover photo. He saw it in the slew of congratulations on her timeline. Then he saw it in her update post from three weeks ago with a photo of her arms wrapped around her now fiancé’s neck showing off her new ring as she smiled from ear to ear.

Stiles’ heart sank.

He quickly closed the app and sat his phone down on the table. He stared at it for what seemed like forever as reality sunk in. (Y/N) was officially the one that got away. She was no longer a future possibility, but rather a what if. She had moved on, and he clearly still hadn’t – no matter how much he liked to think he had.

“Can I get you anything else?”

The voice of his waitress pulled Stiles out of his thoughts. He looked at her confused, “umm… I’m sorry. What?”

The cute blonde smirked a little, “do you want to order anything else or are you just going to stare at your phone like you just saw a ghost?”

He chuckled a little and shook his head, “oh, no thanks. I should actually get going.” He responded as he pulled out his wallet.

The waitress ripped his check off the pad and placed it on the table. “Sure thing, sweetie.” She winked at him before walking away and catering to her next table.

Stiles picked up the ticket to get his total and was caught off guard to see she had written her number at the bottom by the price. He had been coming to the diner regularly since moving across the street, and she had been his waitress a handful of times, but he never got the idea that she was interested in him. If he was being honest, his friends argue that he’s completely oblivious to the girls that have shown interest in him since the breakup because he was still hung up on (Y/N). He argued that he wasn’t, he was just preoccupied. Now he realized that he wasn’t just trying to fool them, but himself as well.

Letting out a deep sigh, he grabbed his phone, stood up and put what he owed for the burger, fries and milkshake on the table with a deserving tip. He stared at the check with the girl’s number on it for a minute before grabbing it and stuffing it in his pocket. He wasn’t sure if he would actually call her or not, but it didn’t hurt to consider it. After all, it was time for him to really start moving on from (Y/N).

When he reached the exit door and looked outside, he instantly regretted not bringing an umbrella or hat as he noticed the downpour of rain. He must have been so lost in his own thoughts he didn’t even hear or see it out the window beside his table. It was early spring so the weather still wasn’t very warm and the rain was colder than he liked. It actually made him miss Beacon Hills and the northern California weather.

Thankful that his apartment was just across the street, Stiles stuffed his hands in his pockets and prepared himself to get soaked. Once out on the sidewalk, he quickly looked both ways before jogging across the street and into his building. Starting to feel the chill from his soaked clothes, he opted for the elevator instead of the usual stairs. He punched the button for the fifth floor and waited patiently, his mind still reeling from the news of (Y/N) being engaged and then the waitress giving him her number. He didn’t know what to do or think of any of it.

The elevator dinged, signaling he was at his floor and when the doors opened, he walked to his place feeling like he was on autopilot. As he pulled his keys out of his pocket and rounded the corner, he wasn’t prepared for who he saw sitting in front of his door, drenched from head to toe. It took Stiles a minute, but he eventually quickly walked over to her.

“(Y/N)?” He asked, his voice full of concern.

She looked up at him, and his concern turned to full blown worry as he saw her puffy red eyes, purple forming around one of them, and a busted lip. Stiles rushed to kneel beside her and softly cradled her face in his hands. “(Y/N), what the hell happened?”

(Y/N) started to speak, but all her lips could muster were trembles as her body shivered and more tears started to flow. “Shh… Shh…” Stiles urged as he caressed her cheek. “Okay, come on. You need some warm clothes.”

He helped her stand and held her close as he unlocked his door and guided her inside. “Do you want to take a hot bath and I’ll get you some clothes?” Stiles offered once he flipped on a light and they were further inside. (Y/N) could only nod. Stiles nodded, “okay. Come on.” He showed her to the bathroom and left her to herself after grabbing her a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt. “There are towels and washcloths under the sink. Um… I don’t have any like girl soaps or shampoos or anything like that. I hope that’s okay.”

Stiles stared at her with worry as she trembled with her arms wrapped around herself. She couldn’t even bring herself to look back at him. “Okay.  Uh, just yell if you need anything else.” He offered before turning to leave her alone.

“Stiles,” her shaky voice stopped him in his tracks and he turned to look at her. “Thank you.” She said, her broken eyes looking directly into his. All he could do was nod in response before leaving her to relax in the bathroom.

He sat on his couch in the living room in silence, his mind racing as every emotion known to man coursed through his body. Worry. The slightest bit of happiness. Fear. But mostly anger. The thought of that jackass hurting (Y/N) made Stiles livid. He shook his leg up and down to keep himself from hunting that fiancé of hers down and kicking his ass. He didn’t care about where or why, and he knew the who. All he cared about was that it happened, and he’ll be damned if he lets that jackass get away with it.

Half an hour later, Stiles was torn from his thoughts as (Y/N) padded down the hallway. When he turned to look, she was already standing beside him at the couch. The bath didn’t seem to calm her much as she still wrapped her arms around herself and looked anywhere else but at him. Stiles swallowed hard. She looked so fragile and vulnerable and small, especially in his large t-shirt and sweats. Like even the slightest movement would cause her to fall and crash into a million pieces.

He hated it. Her once seemingly permanent smile was now cracked at the edge. Her emerald eyes were clouded with pain as the side of her face started turning purple and blue. She still trembled as if she were reliving the painful memory. This beautiful girl that he still loved was now standing in front of him broken, and it killed him because if he hadn’t let her go, then she would have never been in this position.

“You can sit down if you want. Or you can go sleep in my bed. I can crash here on the couch. I don’t mind.” Stiles offered softly, unsure of what she wanted.

(Y/N) bit at her bottom lip, but winced remembering it was split. She cleared her throat a little, “can I uh…I mean, can you…” She let out a deep, shaky breath and finally looked back at him, her sad eyes breaking his heart. “Can you just hold me while we watch a movie or something?”

Stiles swore his heart stopped for a minute at her question. He cleared his throat and tried to play it cool. “Um, yeah, sure. What do you want to watch?” He asked as he grabbed the remote off the coffee table. She just shrugged her shoulders as she sat beside him. “Okay, um… let’s see.” He thought for a minute about what she might want to watch. “Oh! I have Netflix and we can binge watch FRIENDS?”

The smallest of smiles appeared on (Y/N)’s face as she nodded her head. Stiles tried to contain his own grin by looking down and scratching his face. “Okay, great.”  He pulled Netflix up on his television and searched for FRIENDS. Once he found it, he sat back and propped his feet up on the coffee table. Before he hit play, though, he looked over to (Y/N) who was still guarding herself in the seat beside his. Without hesitation, he reached out his hand to her knee and rubbed it softly, letting her know everything was going to be okay.

She looked over at him hesitantly.  He offered her a reassuring smile as he propped his arm up on the back of the couch, giving her an open invitation curl up next to him. After all, she did ask if he would hold her.

(Y/N) scooted over until her body was curled up next to his, her head resting at his shoulder as her arm slung around his torso. Stiles moved his arm from the top of couch down to wrap around her. He placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head as he pressed play and their favorite sitcom started. They fit perfectly together, just like they used to.

Stiles didn’t have all the details of what happened or how she even knew where he lived now, but none of that mattered. All that mattered was that she was there, safe in his arms, and he in hers. Right where they both belonged.

To be continued...

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[auswriteforyou]

hey :) hope you feel better soon! could you write this with jeff clarke? 😛- ‘You licking your lips would be much hotter if we weren’t stuck in an elevator shaft.’

It had been the longest day you’d had to date and you were more than ready to kick off your shoes and sleep for a year. That’s why you were not at all surprised when the elevator stalled, rattling like old bones and grinding to a stop in between floors 23 and 24. It had just been one of the days and the man opposite you, luckily the only one still here this late so you weren’t stuck inside a full car, seemed just as dejected. You tossed your bag to the side, huffing as you plopped down on the floor - he’d already pressed the emergency button, what more could you do?

“It’s been one of those days huh?” He questioned, sliding down opposite you as the lights flickered. It must be storming outside. Downtown Chicago was made of old wiring and the lights going out in your office building was pretty normal.

“One of those weeks.”

“I’m with you there,” He sighed. “Jeff Clarke.”

“Nice to meet you Jeff Clarke, what brings you here?” There were a lot of offices in this building, enough that he could be here for plastic surgery or law services.

“Meeting someone for dinner. He works in one of the law offices upstairs so I should’ve known he’s be in a meeting and cancel on me. You?

"Work on the 29th floor, receptionist and apparently assistant to a CEO for a pharmaceutical company.” You sighed, digging around in your oversized bag for the lunch you’d packed but hadn’t gotten to eat. “Want half? I haven’t eaten since breakfast or I’d give you the whole thing.”

“Same for me, thanks.” He seemed to not mind the fact that it was only turkey and cheese, a slight layer of avocado spread to give it some flavour. You were in a rush that morning. As per usual.

“What do you do, Jeff Clarke, that prevented you from eating a normal meal?”

“I’m a 4th year medical student doing my residency at Chicago Med.” Your eyebrow raised suspiciously. “I was a lieutenant at a firehouse first, got injured and decided to give medicine a try.”

“‘Give medicine a try’?” You snorted, “Like it’s that easy.”

“Oh, it’s not. I thought running into fires was hard, try being screamed at by a parent because their child is sick but they have Zumba in ten minutes.” You couldn’t help but laugh, resting your head on the wall behind you as you really took him in. His smile was bright enough to light up the dingy elevator, his eyes like glass and honestly, he was kinda hot.

“You’re funny doctor Jeff Clarke, I like you.”

“Why thank you.” He grinned, licking his lips as he folded up the empty baggie that’d held his half of the sandwich.

“You licking your lips would be much hotter if we weren’t stuck in an elevator shaft.” His head snapped up, a startled blush creeping onto both of your cheeks. “Sorry, I word vomit when I’m nervous. That was so inappropriate, I literally just met you.”

“Hey, no worries.” He shifted, pulling his phone from his pocket. “I think sharing a sandwich in a stalled elevator counts as a perfect first date, so I don’t know how I can top it but I’d like to take you on another.” Oh, he was good. Grinning, you stole his phone from his hand. No sooner had you pressed save did the elevator whir back to life, continuing it’s descent as you both stood and readied yourselves to get out.

“See ya round, Jeff Clarke.” You smiled, stepping off the elevator onto the first floor parking deck knowing visitors used the fourth.

“Why do you keep calling me by my full name, and I didn’t get yours!” The doors slid shut on him and you grinned to yourself. It had been a long time since you’d liked someone. There was something about him.

Jeff looked down at his phone. Shaking his head at the blank contact name, he had to laugh as the digits blinked at him. It’d been a while since he’d connected to someone like that, someone who just made him feel as he typed in Elevator as your name for now. There was just something about you.

–

I feel much better thank you love! Enjoy x

Blurb List Here. Masterlist. Request Here.

#Chicago Med #Chicago Fire #Chicago Med imagines #Jeff clarke #blurb list #writing

[elgreg]

Rhyme Time Approved!

If you have an Amazon Alexa device (echo, dot, yada) and some kids under six, try out my new Alexa Skill called Rhyme Time. If you like it, rate it! It took more than a year to get it approved.

I spent some time, a year ago, writing an app for the Amazon Echo (aka Alexa) that I originally called Rhymenocerous. Of course, that name was taken by Flight of the Conchords, and Amazon only lets you have two-word skill names so I went with “Rhyme Time” eventually.

This was a “skill” (ridiculous name) meant for my kids. It would read parts of a public-domain nursery rhyme and ask them to fill in the blank.

On July 29th, 2016, I submitted my app to AWS for the first time:

1. Your invocation name does not meet the necessary requirements. Please refer to the Invocation Name Requirements and resubmit your skill once you have made the necessary changes. Invocation Name Requirements: https://developer.amazon.com/public/solutions/alexa/alexa-skills-kit/docs/choosing-the-invocation-name-for-an-alexa-skill

2. When invoking the skill with the following command “repeat”, the skill’s response is irrelevant to the request.  Please see test case 4.3 from our Submission Checklist  for guidance on intent responses.

As a multi-decade software engineer, I get this immediately. I’m and idiot.  I should have read all the docs. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I’m going to read them now. Amazon has told me the parts I got wrong. I’ll fix those and resubmit.

8/2/2016

Thank you for the recent submission of your skill, ‘Rhyme with me’.

Your skill submission has failed the certification process because of the following issue(s) that must be resolved for successful certification. Please address the issue(s) and resubmit the skill at your earliest convenience.

1. Your sample utterances should be robust and cover as many different things that you think users will say as possible. Based on your current sample utterance profile, many utterances are not reaching your skill. Please add more utterances for "WordGuessIntent" Please see the “Sample Utterance Contents” section of this page for advice on building out your sample utterances: https://developer.amazon.com/appsandservices/solutions/alexa/alexa-skills-kit/docs/defining-the-voice-interface#The%20Sample%20Utterances%20File      

2. The example interactions that you choose to present to users in the companion app must be included in your sample utterances. These sample utterances should not include the wake word or any relevant launch phrasing.

Please note the first example phrase is not included in the sample utterances.

AMAZON.StartOverIntent          play a game

For more information about the words included in our supported launch phrases, please see:  https://developer.amazon.com/public/solutions/alexa/alexa-skills-kit/docs/supported-phrases-to-begin-a-conversation

3. The skill’s invocation name cannot include connecting words supported by Alexa to combine requests with launch phrases in a one-shot format. After changing the invocation name for the skill, please make sure the new name is accurately represented in the skill’s example phrases. Please refer to the following document which lists all of the connecting words supported by Alexa for one-shot requests: https://developer.amazon.com/public/solutions/alexa/alexa-skills-kit/docs/supported-phrases-to-begin-a-conversation  

Also, please refer to the following documentation on creating an invocation name for your skill that will work to consistently launch the skill:

https://developer.amazon.com/appsandservices/solutions/alexa/alexa-skills-kit/docs/choosing-the-invocation-name-for-an-alexa-skill        

4. When invoking “AMAZON.StopIntent” and “AMAZON.CancelIntent”, with the following command, “Stop” or “cancel”, the skill gives following response “Sorry, I'm having trouble accessing your Rhyme with me skill right now”. Please see test case 4.3 from our Submission Checklist for guidance on intent responses.

Example:

User: “Alexa, start Rhyme with Me”.

Skill: “Welcome to Rhyme with me. Would you like to play? Say yes to start the game or no to quit”.

User: “Stop” or “cancel”

Skill: “Sorry, I'm having trouble accessing your Rhyme with me skill right now”

Oh, boy. Some more things to fix! If only I’d read 30 pages of stuff. Anyway, onward.

8/4/2016

Your skill submission has failed the certification process because of the following issue(s) that must be resolved for successful certification. Please address the issue(s) and resubmit the skill at your earliest convenience.

The skill does not exit and respond appropriately when users say "stop". Please see test case 4.13 from our Submission Checklist for guidance on skill exiting.

Example:

User: "Alexa open rhyme time"

Skill: "Welcome to Rhyme Time. Would you like to play? Say yes to start the game or no to quit".

User: "stop"

Skill: "Say yes to continue, or no to end the game" and the stream remains open.

Got it. I need to add some stoppy stuff. I can do that!

8/8/16

Your skill submission has failed the certification process because of the following issue(s) that must be resolved for successful certification. Please address the issue(s) and resubmit the skill at your earliest convenience.

1. Your skill violates our content guidelines as it is targeted towards children. You can find our content guidelines here: https://developer.amazon.com/public/solutions/alexa/alexa-skills-kit/docs/alexa-skills-kit-policy-testing . As a result, we have rejected your skill.

2. The core functionality of the skill could not be completed using only customer facing information. Make sure that the skill's description and prompts make navigation easy and the core functionality clear to users.

Example 1:

User: “Alexa, launch Rhyme Time”

Skill: “Welcome to Rhyme Time. Would you like to play? Say yes to start the game or no to quit”.

User: “yes”

Skill: "Great! Let's try Hey Diddle Diddle: Hey! diddle, diddle, The cat and the"

User: “i don't know”

Skill: “Give up? The word was spoon. Let's keep going. The cow jumped over the moon; The little dog laughed To see such sport, And the dish ran away with the”

Ideally, the correct answer is "fiddle" But Skill says "The word was spoon" which is irrelevant answer.

Example 2:

User: “Alexa, launch Rhyme Time”

Skill: “Welcome to Rhyme Time. Would you like to play? Say yes to start the game or no to quit”.

User: “yes”

Skill: “Great! Let's try Hey Diddle Diddle: Hey! diddle, diddle, The cat and the”

User: “i don't know”

Skill: “Give up? The word was spoon. Let's keep going. The cow jumped over the moon; The little dog laughed To see such sport, And the dish ran away with the”

User: “I dont know”

Skill: “Give up? The word was . Let's keep going” and the stream remains open

Currently, the skill does not give the answer and question when “i dont know” is uttered for the second time. Ideally, the correct answer is "fiddle" But Skill says "The word was spoon" which is irrelevant answer.

To try to skirt #1, I re-wrote the description. This could definitely be an app geared towards ESL folks, right? But I wasn’t about to drop Shakespeare into the rhyming sets. For #2, after a user says “I don’t know” I forgot to increment to the next word in the rhyme. Doh! OK. Fix and resubmit.

9/19/2016

Your skill submission has failed the certification process

.  We’ve included a description of the issue(s) and steps to reproduce below. Please address these and resubmit the skill at your earliest convenience. As a reminder, when you publish a skill, you are eligible for a free Alexa dev t-shirt.

Terms and conditions apply

.

Issues with skill in English (US)

___________________________________________________________________________________

Your skill violates our content guidelines as it is targeted towards children. You can find our content guidelines here:

https://developer.amazon.com/public/solutions/alexa/alexa-skills-kit/docs/alexa-skills-kit-policy-testing  

OK. You got me. Bummer.

So after a few months of work and resubmitting multiple times, I had to face the fact that the whole premise of the app wasn’t within their guidelines.

I was building this app for my kids. As a developer, I can already use it at home and they were already using it and playing with it. Should I offer it on the Alexa store (or whatever it’s called), there’s nothing to gain for me except the good feeling of distributing this thing to others. So... I’m done. I abandoned the thing. I was sad, but I got over it in a day.

Fast forward to Oct 30, 2017

Last night I was flipping through my updates tab in gmail and saw a hackathon contest for Alexa Skills for kids.

“Wait. They’re allowing Alexa Skills for kids now?”

I went to resubmit my app from a year before, found a new checkbox for indicating that the skill was for kids under 13 and was done.

The next morning, the app was approved! Zero code changes. Done!

I’m torn. I really appreciated that Amazon had people willing to keep reviewing the app as I kept submitting it. When I finally got rejected last year because the app was geared towards kids, I was furious that they hadn’t just told me that in the first place. Instead they had nitpicked its particular deficiencies. But now, when I resubmitted it after a year and didn’t have to change anything, I was thankful that they’d already had me go through all the hard stuff.

I wrote Amazon to tell them it would be worth going through their rejections to figure out if there were more kid-geared apps that had been submitted in the last few years. Hopefully other parent-developers find out the good news.

#amazon #alexa #skills #rhyming

[weholyperfectioncollectorme-blog]

Cluttered house - Will home insurance pay?

"Cluttered house - Will home insurance pay?

I walked into a house a few days ago to help clean up. The house is disgusting.   Clutter everywhere, cat piss and **** all over the place, you cannot see the floor in some rooms.    I almost threw up when I saw this.    I am wondering if his home owners insurance will pay for repairs/damages to the house?   It seems to be the only option, and I am wondering if the home owners insurance company simply say no and close the policy since it is not caused by environment/accidental or outside influences.   Thanks.""

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Car Insurance in England question?

If I am insured but I drive another car (included on policy) but that car is not insured by owner will ANPR pick up car has no insurance and do I commit offense? And if I am not insured but drive a car that is insured by owner does it come up on ANPR as being insured and therefore I wont get caught? Is the driver insured or the car???

What is the best car insurance company out there today?

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Cluttered house - Will home insurance pay?

I walked into a house a few days ago to help clean up. The house is disgusting.   Clutter everywhere, cat piss and **** all over the place, you cannot see the floor in some rooms.    I almost threw up when I saw this.    I am wondering if his home owners insurance will pay for repairs/damages to the house?   It seems to be the only option, and I am wondering if the home owners insurance company simply say no and close the policy since it is not caused by environment/accidental or outside influences.   Thanks.""

Backdates homeowners insurance?r=1268786067?

Can an insurance company back date homeowners insurance?

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I work 35 hours a week, and have no health insurance. Am I eligible? Should I question this?""

Car insurance premium went up because of the state?

I noticed that my monthly car insurance bill increased by about $40. When I called my insurance company to ask why my premium went up (since there were no accidents, changes in cars or policy/discount changes), the rep told me that it was because of the state. I knew he meant government and he said it's been happening all across the country but the increases are highest in California, New York, New Jersey and Florida. I live in California. Has anyone else experienced this? Can someone explain to me in specifics what the government may have done that lead to the increase?""

Proof of insurance California?

I recently had my car fixed and for some stupid reason I pulled all my documentation out of the car. Well, I got pulled over one day and was cited for not having my proof of insurance. (Stupid, I know.) The cop was really nice and said I just needed to go down to the court and show them that I was covered during the period I was pulled over. He said the fine would be at most 10 bucks. Today I get my notice of bail and it says that if I show proof of insurance, I can get the bail reduced to 756 dollars! Am I reading this right? Thanks""

Are there emergency health insurances in California?

And how can some one get it? i don't live in Cali but a friend of mine does. And they can't afford health insurances. but they need to see a doctor.

Can I insure a car that is registered and has license plates from arizona?

I live in California and am about to buy a car that has its license plates from arizona and is registered there as well. Would i Be able to insure it? And if not what would the process to get it good over here? Just so you know, Its a 1995 Nissan Altima, and is going for $1500.""

How much will my insurance go up?

Had an accident which insurance said its my fault both cars been write off third party cars worth 10k mine 6 k I pay 2 grand a year now how much will it go up at renewal?

Do you have health insurance?

Do you have health insurance?

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I'm just complaining about the Lyin' Lizzards, so don't bother pasting in a car insurance website, and don't bother telling me that it's just advertising. First person who doesn't read this part is an idiot. And the first person to tattle on them in their answer gets the 10 points. Good luck! The hunt is on!""

How much would car insurance cost me as a teenager?

Now i heard that the insurance is riduclous for teenagers these days. Im planning to buy a mazda sportscar worth around $25000. around how much should I be ready to pay for my car insurance a year... btw the insurance must be SUPERIOR insurance meanin the best insurance .

Cheap place to get car insurance?

Im 17 with my provisional licence and im getting insured onto my car but want to know where is cheapest for car insurance and i live in northern ireland

""If the officer did not check my insurance, will the ticket show up on my insurance bill?""

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How much is an average car insurance?

I am a 17 year old male. I turn 18 October 4th. I have taken a drives education course which should reduce the price. My grades are great. I'm looking into getting a 2008 mustang and I live a mile from work. And i live in the state of florida. How much SHOULD my monthly car insurance be?

My mother wants to add me to her car insurance. How much will it cost?

im 24 and i have never driven before. lets just say i had a silver spoon in my mouth for 23 years. but now i need to start driving and my mom would like me to drive her 2000 bonnaville while she gets a small pickup truck. but to be fair i would need to pay her once she gets her insurance bill yearly, and i would have to pay once she has added me...see where im going with this?""

Is international health insurance worth it?

I'm from the US and will be travelling to SE Asia and wondering if I should buy international health insurance and what company is best. I have no current health insurance and am in great health. Thailand has very affordable medical care which might be affordable paying out of pocket even if something major happened there, but if I had to be flown back to the US for something medical related, I'd surely go bankrupt. Does anyone have any recommendations for international coverage or not?""

""I'm traveling for a month, do I need car insurance?""

I'm going to be traveling for a month, during which nobody will use my car. My insurance expires right before the month starts, and I want to switch providers after that, but is there any good reason to continue paying insurance for that month at full rate when nobody's even going to touch the car? Or, is there another way I can save money?""

How much is insurance for a mazda rx8 if....?

my dad is going to buy me a used 2005 mazda rx8 for my 16th birthday, since i'm going to be a new driver and it's considered a sports car, is the insurance going to be super expensive?""

Whats the cheapest bike insurance for a 1st time biker - 21 yrs - 125cc only CBT done?

Any gd experience to pass on? (Honda CG125)

""Insurance on parents car, learner?""

basically, i wish to start learning to drive and i personally would prefer to be put on my mums insurance (50 moth quote from her insurance people with me as a learner) as i want to be taught by my dad rather than an instructor (many with dad then instructor after a few months) my question is; if i crash the car, with me driving with L plates with my dad/mum in passenger could or would i effect their no claim bonus OR put their premiums up? they only have a small 1.2""

What is the cheapest car insurance in queens ny?

What is the cheapest car insurance in queens ny?

Other driver was not covered under insurance?

I was in a car accident where the other driver (to be referred as The Idiot) was at fault. The police were called and The Idiot was given a warning citation. The insurance company called me today to inform me that the claim was being denied because The Idiot was not an authorized driver under the policy. It appears that The Idiot borrowed the car from his father. Now I am stuck with thousands of dollars in repairs that it appears will be billed back to me. What are my options?

Cheapest car insurance???

what is the best place to get the cheapest car insurance???

Car insurance question regarding friends car?

(This is in Ohio). My friend let me drive her car when the roads were kind of bad due to weather. At an intersection, the light turned yellow, and I began to slide on the ice. I had control of the car, however, if I would have continued to slide straight I would have been hit side on by the incoming cars coming through the intersection. Instead, I had to turn the wheel and I hit a pole. No damages were done to the pole, any other cars, or people. Unfortunately when we took the car to an autobody shop, getting an estimate without the use of insurance, we got an average cost of $2,200. There's NOT that much damage on the left bumper to make the cost so expensive. Both me and my friend are insured, however, MY insurance company is saying it's her car, so her insurance has to pay for it. How will this work? If I ask her to pay using her insurance, I don't want her to pay any out of pocket. I would pay the deductible. Will this hurt her insurance, or my pocket? Any other good ideas? Thanks so much.""

Which car is the cheapest to buy and who are the cheapest to insurance with?

i thinking of taking my driving lesson!! i just wonder which car is cheap and who is cheap to get insurance with!

Insurance questions?

I have a 99' silverado LS 5.3 liter truck. It was hit in the parking lot by some fool at work and now all the body panels on the passenger side are dented. I took it to a dealer to get an estimate (since the guy has insurance) they quoted it at 7500 dollars worth of damage. I know that the truck doesn't actually book for much more than that. The truck still drives fine just that it is beat up on one side and the door won't open. I still owe about 3k on the truck. I have yet to get an adjuster to come look at it from state farm. Do you think the truck will be totalled? What are my options and how much will they sell the truck back for if it is a total? If it is a total what value will they go off of and how much should I expect for my truck which was in fair condition? Will the adjuster make a check out to me or will he send it to my bank or both? Any help with this from someone that has had a vehicle totalled by someone else would be greatly appreicated..I really don't know.

Cluttered house - Will home insurance pay?

I walked into a house a few days ago to help clean up. The house is disgusting.   Clutter everywhere, cat piss and **** all over the place, you cannot see the floor in some rooms.    I almost threw up when I saw this.    I am wondering if his home owners insurance will pay for repairs/damages to the house?   It seems to be the only option, and I am wondering if the home owners insurance company simply say no and close the policy since it is not caused by environment/accidental or outside influences.   Thanks.""

""Health Insurance 15 years, now NO health insurance!?""

I've had insurance since I've been on my own now, roughly 15 years. However thanks to Obamacare my insurance plan has been cancelled, so now I don't have insurance. Obamacare requires maturnity care, which of course mine didn't cover because I am a male. I looked into Obamacare but it was like 400 a month for me versus my other Blue Cross plan which was 175 a month and had almost little to no co-pay and a very low deductible. So someone explain to me how after all these years of hard work and having GREATTTTTT health insurance I have NO health insurance and basically don't want this bronze OVER priced piece of crap high deductible health insurance. If your broke, then you can't even afford the bronze because the deductibles are so high that it will bankrupt you and you won't get the subsidies until end of year so you can't afford it anyway LOL. Kinda sad I lose my health insurance so some low life can now finally have something they can't afford to use any way.""

Whats the average cost a month for car insurance in california for an 18 year old?

Whats the average cost a month for car insurance in california for an 18 year old?

How to get dirt cheap Car & Medical Insurance ??

Looking for a CAR with in $ 500, Car Insurance & Medical Insurance for 1 Male of 31 years, 1 Female of 26 years & a Child of 2 years. Should cover Medical. Vision & Dental not reqired. Looking for real dirt cheap insurance for Car, Family""

How much would the insurance cost for a 2004 Subaru impreza wrx. Not sti.?

Im 17... So it normally costs more for me anyway. My dad and mom has had geico for a while now. My dad says I can't get it cuz the insurance will cost too much on a turbo car. I can't live without a turbo car!!!!!

Car Insurance for a 16 year old in California?

I am gonna get either a Used 03-04 Nissan 350z and would like to get a rough estimate of how much insurance is gonna cost. Thanks in advance. Also what would happen to my insurance if the car is on a salvage title?

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old female ?

I am turning 17 on july 6 and i will be getting my license on that day too, my parents said they will pay for the car but i only have to pay for the insurance . how much is insurance?""

How much are geckos i found one for 7.00. at petco i thought they were a lot more money.?

a while back i went to petco and seen it. It was a bright green gecko. it looked like the one from the car insurance place and it was like 3-4 inches but it was 7.00 so i was just wondering.

Would it be cheaper to insure a van (SWB transit size) or a Car (fiesta/Clio size)On 08 Plates.?

Ive tried insurance companies buy they wont tell me anything unless i give reg no's and stuff, and i havent got it yet so i cant :s so just a basic geuss would be good, i assumed a van would be cheaper as their arnt as many luxuries and such in them?""

Texas driver got speeding ticket in Washington state? Will my insurance know it?

While on a business trip I got a speeding ticket (5 over limit) in Washington state. I live in Texas and my license is issued by Texas. If I pay this ticket, ticket says it will go on my driving record. I assume they will send it to Tx. In that case, would my insurance rate increase because of this out-of-state speeding ticket? I am ok with paying the ticket, but I don't want to see my insurance increase. What are my options? Should I hire a traffic lawyer in WA to get rid of the ticket? Again, I live in Tx! Any re ommendations for me to get this issue resolved without insurance getting the ticket info.""

Car insurance for teens. Do I NEED to be listed on my parents policy?

My parents have triple A auto insurance and I have recently gotten my drivers license. I have tried to research the requirements for insurance by law on the California DMV website and the most concrete statement I found was some numbers that cover various damages and injuries (DMV website is not working properly so I cannot look it up). My parents insurance obviously covers the basic and more. However, my parents policy states that Any relative that has consent of the owner to use the insured vehicle is covered by this policy - These are not the exact words as I don't have the policy on me, but it is pretty damn close. In the definitions portion of the policy, it states a relative as anyone related by blood, and some other stuff. I am my parents son so I am obviously related by blood, thus their policy coverage extends on to me when they give me permission to use their vehicle. I did not find ANY California laws that required me to be on the policy. i only found information that said I only need that minimum coverage which my parents policy does provide. We did contact triple A about this and they did not give us a reasonable answer. All they said was that they WANT my parents to add me because THOSE ARE THE RULES. Seems like they just want more money in their pockets. Can someone give some advice? Thanks.""

Home insurance cost in auburndale ny zip code 11358?

I am in the process of purchasing a new house in auburndale, queens ny. i wonder how much is the average home insurance cost in this area? it is a tudor building, 2 and half floors.""

Cheapest car insurance in ontario?

Cheapest car insurance in ontario?

Will insurance be cheaper for our 2010 Hyundai Elantra than our 04 Tahoe?

We just bought the Hyundai Elantra yesterday and were looking to see how much of a difference we could expect .

""If I finance a new car, how much insurance do I buy?""

I know it will have full coverage, but how much? I'm trying to get an accurate quote through geico to see if I can afford it before buying the car.""

Till what age can we get health insurance?

I want to know the upper age limit for purchasing health insurance.

Can I add a person to my insurance if i dont own the car?

Okay, my live in boyfriend just got a car and is leasing it through an auto dealer, and making payments. The car is in his name. I would like to know if he can be added to my insurance policy? Does the car have to be in my name to be on my insurance policy?""

What is the estimated home insurance cost of $500000 home in littleton colorado?

What is the estimated home insurance cost of $500000 home in littleton colorado?

What kind of health insurance should I get?

I'm 20 I live with my parents we have U visas I know I don't qualify for Medicaid but I know we have to get insurance or pay the fine. What are my best options? Something affordable. Any advice would help because I know nothing about this! Thank y'all

Florida car insurance question?!?

I'm 16 and have my driving permit, I want to get my license but since the insurance here is SO EXPENSIVE I'm looking for ways to reduce it. I would be put under both divorced parents insurance plans as soo as I got my license. My questions are: 1. If I get my own car, will I still have to go on both parents insurance? 2. What kind of driving school will aid in discounting the insurance, and do you know of any in Jupiter, FL or online? Thanks!""

What medical insurance should I get in California?

I am 27yrs have, single, have no children and need medical insurance. I live in California so I have to have it by the new laws. I have no clue who I should sign up for. I don't care too much about benefits too much right now (deadline is coming up). I just want the lowest priced one I can get right now so I can say I have something. I looked at the Medi-cal website and it said you have to be 65yrs or older or have children so it does not seem like I am eligible even though I am low income. Any clue on what I should get? Thanks.""

I only have liability insurance and was hit by another car?

I only have liability & when the other guy hit me he ran away on foot leaving the car. I made a police report and they gave me the other party's info. Now his insurance is saying they can't help me until they know who was actually driving his car. What can I do to get my car fixed because it is not drivable? Can I get a rental car? Can his insurance deny me completely if they don't find the driver?

""Average utility and insurance cost Orland Park, IL?""

I'm planning on buying a townhouse in Orland Park, IL and was wondering what the average utility (water, electricity, heat, disposal) costs are? Anyone have any estimates on insurance? The association fees cover common insurance but don't think it covers anything within the four walls of the house. Know what insurance requirements the lender puts on mortgages? Trying to estimate how much home ownership really is.""

""Will my car get tow,i change the insurance to my father name.?""

I financed a car and all the paperwork is under my name,but i change the insurance under my father name.now i received a letter saying i don't have insurance,and i told them is under my father name.they want me to change it in my name,but i don't want to.if i put my name in the insurance it will be high. can i leave it under his name,or put my name in it.""

Car insurance question?

Can someone get insurance on a vehicle when their name is NOT on the title?? The insurance is in VA. My husband owns the car and was letting his little bro drive it, but we've removed the insurance and told him NOT to drive it, and found out that he has put insurance on it with his insurance company! Is this possible or legal even?""

Why is car insurance so expensive of or young people ?

I don't think it is fair it seems like a lot of things are expensive for young people I mean it is even unfair when your in a job and you get paid less becaues your young

Cluttered house - Will home insurance pay?

I walked into a house a few days ago to help clean up. The house is disgusting.   Clutter everywhere, cat piss and **** all over the place, you cannot see the floor in some rooms.    I almost threw up when I saw this.    I am wondering if his home owners insurance will pay for repairs/damages to the house?   It seems to be the only option, and I am wondering if the home owners insurance company simply say no and close the policy since it is not caused by environment/accidental or outside influences.   Thanks.""

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