#honestly i think for this position the letter is not that important | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Users from the US are the majority of Tumblr visitors.

#honestly i think for this position the letter is not that important

etheries1015 · 5 months

Text

Writing letters to each other

Lilia x Reader

Gender neutral reader

2 scenarios - first one angst, second one fluff

I was reading Aces suitor card vignette, and in it Sebek mentioned how Lilia taught him the proper way to pursue someone romantically was to first exchange heartfelt letters. (He mentioned the third letter would include a photo of them smiling if I understood it correctly.) and this made me think about two different scenarios:

Firstly, Writing to General Lilia during the war. It was a fluke honestly, and he finds it the most romantic yet tragic of stories. The way he found your letter that you had addressed to someone else with a name he was unfamiliar with. Against his best judgement he had opened the letter and read its contents; immediately falling in love with the style of writing this stranger had taken. He wrote back using the return address you had put on the front, informing you that the letter had not gotten to the person you had hoped. You yourself was rather interested in the writing of this strange person who had simply marked his letter as "L.V" , thus began the exchange of letters.

and when he finally received the letter he was most excited to see- he never felt more conflicted. He sat in his camp, opening this letter with great excitement. It was a rare sight seeing the general light up, he was quick to skim through the contents before finally unfolding a picture he knew to be the face behind the beautiful writing. Moments after unfolding the photo, he felt his smile drop into a frown and eyes widen in a mix of emotions. The photo of you smiling wasn't that of another fae as he was expecting, but a human. He felt his heart twinge with guilt, his heart skipping a beat before dropping like lead into the pit of his stomach. The letters you wrote all made sense to him now, your interesting way of writing was different than that of your average fae; some things you spoke about left him curious yet the puzzle pieces now fit together in his mind. He was frowning as he held your photo in limp arms, hunched over with his long hair covering his expression. You truly were beautiful; your hair, your eyes, your smile, he could feel the warmth of your soul through a single photo. With shaking hands, one held firm to the photo with the other rubbing his forehead, Lilia Vanrouge had to come to terms with something very dire- he fell in love with a human.

It was a horrible punch to the fae, the general of a nation who had slaughtered many humans during the ongoing war. He hurt those you were akin to, and your species done the same to him in his homeland. The General had known the difference between you and those who he fought in the war- you were kind, organized, hopeful, loving, you had told him your dreams of the future for fae and human alike, but that didn't change one very important fact; with this information he could never truly reveal his identity to you. Being the general of an enemy army, revealing his disposition to you was almost the same as putting not only you yet his own position at risk. Quickly wiping the tears that had fell from his melancholy ruby orbs sprinkled upon your smiling form, he folded and placed the photo back into the envelope, throwing both your letter and the one he had prepped into the fire, with great guilt upon his chest he felt his heart void of emotions as he had to make a difficult choice that night; love would be something forever foreign to him.

And you never received another letter since.

Secondly, Writing to our current Lilia and personally handing each other letters. Of course, texting is always an option with recent technological advances, but nothing beats a letter hand written with thoughtful precision and love put into every single word. How this began was rather simple; it came up in conversation. You had expressed your enjoyment of letter writing, something that Lilia had noticed was seldom around at that time. With his interest piqued at your rare interest, he wrote the first letter, popping by Ramshackle and handing a neatly written letter with a black envelope and green wax stamp with his initials etched into it.

It soon became tradition to write letters to one another, even when you saw him in the halls, played games or texted, writing letters was but another form of medium that had brought you two closer together. Malleus had noted how it was a gesture of romance, something that he never thought he'd see Lilia partake in, yet was glad to see his excitement every time he opened a new letter you had written to him.

Dearest prefect,

We have been writing letters to one another for some time now! I'm certain you are aware of my intentions at this point, surely. It is custom in Briar Valley in the period of time I grew up that we share a printed photo of one another, however as times change, so does such old traditions. May I ask, in replacement of a photo, that I come by whenever I desire to gaze upon your smiling face at a moments notice? It's almost embarrassing for a fae my age to write letters as if I were a boy smitten, however you seem to bring out emotions I never thought I would experience in this lifetime. Rather silly, isn't it? Despite this, You wont say no, will you? I eagerly look forward to your response, and perhaps I will drop by regardless of the answer, kehehe.

Sincerely,

L.V

Silly fae,

What age you are means very little to me. I find your traditions fascinating, and I respect them to the fullest extent. I have always loved writing letters, and not many these days are interested in such "drivel." I reciprocate your feelings, thus enclosed you will find rather than a photo of myself, but a photo of us from a memory I find near and dear to me. I printed myself a copy and keep it upon my person, and it never fails to bring a smile to my face. Photos are beautiful memorabilia, it's a moment frozen in time forever preserved by paper and ink. Let us create more memories such as this photo, you need not my permission to stop by to your hearts contents. Your presence will always be healing to me, and I look forward to hearing you say those words face to face. Meet me in my dorm as soon as you receive this letter.

See you soon,

(y/n)

Even after time has passed, the letters never ceased. It truly was a match made in heaven- ignoring the judgements of others who found it inconvenient, there wasn't a day gone by without a letter from your beloved fae.

~~~

in celebration of our favorite bat faes birthday <3

Masterlist

#Twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #lilia #lilia vanrouge #general lilia #Lilia x reader #twst lilia #twisted wonderland lilia #lilia vanrouge x reader #twst headcannons #twisted wonderland headcannons #Lilia vanrouge headcannons #lilia vanrouge fanfic #twisted wonderland fanfic

224 notes · View notes

autistichalsin · 4 months

Note

Even if Halsin have not felt suited to the role of the First Druid, I have never agreed with this statement. Although he may have been hesitant, he truly went above and beyond his duties. I hold this belief strongly and will continue to encourage Halsin to see this through my Tav.

If he doesn't wish to assume the mantle of Archdruid, that's completely acceptable. He gave his all, demonstrated exemplary skill, and ensured peace within the Grove before departing. If I were his mentor, I would have felt an immense sense of pride in my heart because of his dedication.

Honestly, thinking about what happens during the game and after, I think the problem is this:

Halsin is a great leader, but he's bad at Druidic leadership, specifically. When you're in a leadership position, your values and goals need to align with the group's. While Halsin, of course, lives and breaths Druidic doctrine, he isn't so good at balancing the needs of his group members with his own goals; he looks at things outside the Grove, like the Shadow Curse, and prioritizes what he sees as the most important thing without necessarily explaining this to the group. He doesn't communicate clearly enough; Kagha talks about him "stumbling after the past", obviously not understanding the importance of curing the Shadow Curse. Everyone else, except Halsin, was willing to let the Shadow Curse continue. And of course it's a morally good act to cure the Shadow Curse, but his focus on it made him oblivious to some of the needs of the Druids.

Then you add in his avoidance of his responsibilities due to his tremendous amounts of trauma arising from his first day as Archdruid, and his own admitted inability to persuade the way Francesca could. Unfortunately, persuasiveness is a vital quality of a leader, and Halsin, while wise, isn't always so good at making his case.

It's very telling, to me, that Kagha was so willing to badmouth Halsin to outsiders. The Emerald Enclave (it's not explicitly stated that the Grove is under their authority, IIRC, but very heavily hinted that they're at LEAST allied, because Halsin mentions them refusing to help with the Shadow Curse in a note) has a very strict rule that while, in a meeting, Druids are free to air complaints, outside of it, they are to always act as a unified front, because open airing of grievances weakens the perception of the group to outsiders. Kagha, and many of the other Druids under Halsin's command, were willing to abandon this rule to trash talk Halsin to complete strangers, which means that he never properly instilled that rule in them, either.

Yet at the commune, where his leadership role is less strict and formal, everyone thrives; he enjoys his role. The key difference is that the leadership expected of an Archdruid was more structured and authoritarian; they were expected to be the firm decision makers, the ones In Charge, the ones to make plans of action and to manage problems. On the other hand, he indicates in tone and with a few lines (and a devnote that refers to him as an "informal elder") that his commune is a group effort; he's a guide, he gives advice and takes initiative to fix things, but everyone has a say in things.

In other words, he's suited for the gentler type of leadership where he's guiding others and everyone has a role, and not so well suited for the type of leadership where he is meant to be The Authority, What He Says Goes.

That said, he did, of course, do amazingly under the circumstances- he really did the best anyone could be expected to, and if he was TERRIBLE at it instead of simply not GREAT, he would have been ousted at some point over the past 100 years. Clearly no one else felt like they could do better.

But I think it's telling that when Halsin talks to you about his letter from the Grove in act 3, that there's only one response that he truly responds happily to (and gives approval to). He will give vague answers about leaving the Grove if the player reassures him that he was good, or that it's okay to leave (saying that this is true but he has a lot of knowledge and wants to find a way to pass that on). But the response that makes him happiest is:

"Grove aside, I'm glad you stayed with me."

Because what he wants isn't to be Archdruid, or to be reassured of his skills as such. What he wants is to belong, and be needed, somewhere else- somewhere where he is happy. Because he says, multiple times in multiple scenarios, that traveling with Tav is among his happiest memories. With a world-ending threat in front of him, he's the happiest he's been because he's being shown kindness, and consideration as a person, he never got at the Grove. He wants to belong with you because you're the first one to show him it doesn't matter if he is a good leader, he still has a place at your side, he's welcome as he is. And that's what he wants, more than anything- even being reassured of his leadership skills is, to him, almost a confirmation that he has to be a good leader to be Good and Worthy. But saying "look, good leader or not, I'm glad you're with me" tells him that he finally has somewhere he is treasured for himself, and that is huge for him.

#halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

113 notes · View notes

londonclubofsherwood · 4 months

Text

One thing I keep thinking about is because superhero comics are simultaneously niche and cultural icons, the general public understanding of characters can be starkly different to the actual medium. Often this is harmless fun but it can be a problem considering arcs about female and minority characters often suffer in the realm of reprints and adaptations, and therefore never have the same impact on the public consciousness. And I think this explains the erasure of Oracle.

Yes, Killing Joke was misogynistic as hell and as a massive Barbara fan I have serious issues with it. But then what Kim Yale and John Ostrander did with Oracle in year one was moving, beautiful and undeniably feminist. I'm not disabled but I got serious chills reading the story and it is honestly one of my favourite comics. From there she grew to become a staple in the DC universe and helped launch the wildly successful Birds of Prey superhero team.

And she was a disabled hero who was psychologically complex and kickass in a fight. She also was seen as an attractive woman who had love interests like Dick Grayson. She got to train the next generation of Batgirls. As Oracle Babs thrived.

Not to mention according to Scott Peterson's article on DC women kicking ass, the creative team at the time were seeing an overwhelming positive response to Oracle from people who saw themselves on the pages of a superhero comic for the first time thanks to Babs:

"we were the ones getting the mail from disabled fans. We were the ones reading letters about how much Oracle meant to them, how much it meant to see someone in a situation so much like their own, someone who by then had been come such an important part of the DCU, treated with respect and admiration by not only Superman and Black Canary, but by the Batman, a guy who treated pretty much no one with respect." (Scott Peterson, 2011)

But if you look at the mainstream perception, her success is less obvious.

Batgirl has always struggled in adaptations, and Oracle even more so. The versions of Oracle that have been translated onto film and TV haven't caught in public imagination in the same way, to the point she was straight up cut out of the recent Birds of Prey film.

Not to mention Killing Joke is one of the most iconic Batman stories of all time that not only has been reprinted countless times but was one of the select few comic arcs to be adapted into animation. Contrarily, Oracle Year One was reprinted in English once after the original date: the Batgirl 50 years celebration. This collection is expensive and not something you would buy without considerable investment in the Batgirls. It certainly isn't one that would show up if you google 'best batman comics'.

If you see this you understand why people marginally invested in DC mythos considered her return to batgirl was seen by some as a feminist move, rather than an ableist one. Gone were her years of development, one of the most powerful information brokers in DC, and two other beloved Batgirls. And the real insult: killing joke was still canon. Yes, they kept the misogynistic violence and ditched the disability rep and the character growth. And that is despite the fact Killing Joke was made to be part of an else world, not main continuity.

#dc musings #Barbara gordon #batgirl #oracle #dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #ramblings/meta #hopefully this is something

72 notes · View notes

beanghostprincess · 5 months

Note

What is shank's reaction to cross guild getting together or any of the ex-Roger pirates like reyleigh or crous

Do you want the reaction I think he has in canon or the fanon, gayer one? Because I can do both. And both are pretty gay, ngl. Shanks is not even trying to hide in the glass closet he's just, out of there. Gay little man. Anyway-

Realistically, I think Shanks is happy Buggy is making a name for himself. The fact that he's joining forces with these other two is, uh, weird to say the least. He's honestly more surprised about Mihawk accepting to do this rather than Buggy having this organization, honestly. But I'm 100% sure he saw the poster and went all nostalgic. You know that bittersweet smile of "I'm happy for you but I wish we were together for this/We could've done this on our own"? Well, something like that. But I think that, even if he hasn't moved on from Buggy (never will. Gay little pirate) the whole point about Shanks with him is that he does see Buggy's potential and I don't think he's surprised about this. At least not in the way Luffy is, for example. It's a weird choice of business partners and Shanks doubts that he's the leader but damn his best friend (ex best friend. He has to remind the lil two letters that go before the term) is becoming even more important. I think that's also what makes him want to go look for the One Piece, besides Luffy, too. Like, things are definitely happening and changing and he needs to go after his dream too. Basically, I think he's proud of Buggy but he regrets not being able to be with him right now, and even could resent Crocodile and Mihawk a little bit. We'll see how that goes!

In a more fanon, self-indulgent concept, I think he wants to die. I think he's worried because what the actual fuck is Buggy doing with these two? And I think that, even if he's proud of him, he looks at Crocodile and Mihawk with so much jealousy,,, He'd be complimenting Buggy on his achievements and then turn around at the two of them like "grrrrrrrrrrrr *protective dog noises*". Thing that Buggy absolutely fucking hates because he can take care of himself, thank you very much, and does not need a reminder of how he has to be protected by Shanks. Not that Shanks is going all jealous ex on them, but he kind of is and Cross Guild is so fucking done because he has no right to act like this anymore. Beck tries to talk with him but Shanks is all like "hahaha why would we need to talk about this :)??? I am perfectly stable by the way where's the rum?" and his alcoholic self-destructive ass can't take the fact that Buggy is happy (could you consider that being happy? Not really. In a position of power. Kind of) without him. I don't remember the name of the fic but I read something about Shanks going to them and wanting to help Buggy because his Vivre Card was getting burned to ashes and Buggy refusing to be helped because he's tired of always getting saved by Shanks and he can protect himself and Shanks was going all worried boyfriend on him and aaaaaaaaaaaaaa great fanfic.

On the other hand, I think in general the whole thing is a surprise for everyone. I mean. It's not really the fact that Buggy is in a position of power because okay, he's still their little clumsy clown and it's weird seeing him like this, but he's been making a name for himself for a long time, and being even more powerful isn't surprising. What is surprising is that Crocodile and Mihawk are choosing to work for him (because that's what people think, and it's hilarious). I think they either laugh at this or are like "what the fuck??" but proceed to laugh anyway. I mean, the oldest generation is just watching these things happen like a telenovela. Also, I think Rayleigh is dying to see Shanks and Buggy again and talk about these things. Please Oda let them meet with their dad I am begging you-

#buggy is either having the best time of his life or the worst #we'll see when they show up again in the manga i am going insane it's been so long bring cross guild back i wanna see them i miss them #it doesn't matter what shanks' reacton is the important thing is that he's very gay #one piece #buggy the clown #cross guild #red haired shanks #shuggy #silvers rayleigh

77 notes · View notes

frelonshi · 1 year

Text

NSFW Alphabet ft. Jiraiya

I think I'm perpetually horny about this man. Horny men makes me horny. Gender is never specified and there's content for both pussy and dick owners. Jiraiya is mostly portrayed as a top dom. Don't hesitate to send me any character for a (n)sfw alphabet!

CW/TW are tagged at every letter if needed. There are mostly mention of oral (both reader and Jiraiya receiving), vaginal (unprotected) and anal sex, as well as masturbation. I think the most risky thing is the mention, at several points, of a fake kidnapping scene (not described though) and Jiraiya is very, very horny in general. Don't hesitate to tell me if you think I miss some!

Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

For Jiraiya, sex is only over the moment you two fall asleep, meaning that aftercare is as important for him as any part of the sex - and that he makes sure he's the greatest at this too. Jiraiya has very good stamina, meaning that after sex he can still do things and he'll be very attentive. He'll probably bring you water and a towel to clean you up, run a bath if you ask for it or give you a massage. More generally, he'll be very sweet, either ready to talk or to be used as a pillow because orgasms (always plural with him) made you sleepy. He'll murmur you sweet praises, about how good you were, about how lucky he is to have you in his bed and in his life. I think it's one of the moments where you discover the most his sweet, vulnerable side and when he is the most honest about his feelings for you.

Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This man, being the biggest simp, loves all of your body but let's face it: your sex, your ass, your thighs and your chest are his favourite parts. He'll look and kiss every bit of your body when you're naked, but this guy will spend extra time marking your ass and thighs and watch them jiggle; I think he'd actually play with your thighs and ass even out of sexual moments, like you'd be reading a book on your stomach and he'll just poke at your ass with a childish smile. Same goes for your boobs if you have, for the same reasons: the jiggle and the marking. I honestly think he'd use them as stress relief, just fondling them brings him peace. Speaking of stress relief: this man eats you out/sucks you off as a way of relaxing. Whether it's active or sex-warming, he just wants to taste and smell you.

As for him, I think he likes his chest and stomach. It's a mix of muscle and fat, perfect to look intimidating, fitting for any daddy roleplay and he loves how much time you spend on them, whether it's during sex or naps.

Cum (Anything to do with cum) (unprotected sex)

His cum is thick and he cums a lot. He loves to cum on and in you. The visual of seeing your mouth or your holes leaking is just heaven for him. He'll probably masturbate and ask to cum on you, certainly on your ass or your chest.

Dirty Secret (dubcon)

It's pretty hard to find a dirty secret, because this man literally writes about whatever lewd thing comes into his mind; so, lots of dirty, not many secrets. Hm, maybe he'd get embarassed if you knew he jerked off with your panties; but at the same time, if he wanted to keep it secret, he wouldn't put back the panty, full of cum, back into your closet.

Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He has a whole lot of experience. He's a busy man, between his network work and his book writing, but he also knows that relaxing is very important. He spent decades on the road and slept with prostitutes or have one-night stands whenever he entered a new town, sometimes every night of his stay. He has plenty of funny stories to tell, between jealous spouses and confusing twins. He knows perfectly what he's doing, he's very attentive to your reactions, so he catches very quickly what works the best for you.

Favorite Position

Doggy style, a classic, but every classic has its reasons to be. It can allow him to take you with a brutal pace, pinning your head against the pillow, or slowing hitting your spot while kissing your back. He loves how he can leaves marks around your hips - he has a very strong grip.

Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.) (mention of cnc)

It'll really depend on what kind of sex you're having. If you're doing an act, like a kidnapping scene, or a roleplay, he'll really get into the character - which is a very intense experience. But if you're having more casual sex, just a moment of intimacy between you two, he'll quip some jokes. But it depends on his mood. If you've been separated or if he learnt bad news, he'll tend to get more silent, more serious; but if it's been a happy day, if he's in good mood, he'll cheer a lot. He's mostly serious, though, focused on making both of you feel good.

Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Hairy as hell. Take a look at his hair; it's like that everywhere: chest, armpits, arms, legs, pubis. Everything is hairy, thick. You'll probably end up with some hair on your tongue when you lick him but hell, that body is too sexy to complain about.

Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

A bit like goofy: that'll depend on the context. He's an excellent, invested actor, and if the scene turns into a ruthless bastard, he will be. But when it comes to more personal intercourses, he can and will be very romantic and cheesy. This man writes books, about sex and love, and will try to recreate as many scenes as possible - yep, especially that one with rose petals and candlelight, you can't get out. Scenery aside, if he's in a good mood he'll tend to get vocal, to tell you what he loves about you and in general how much you mean to him. If he's in a bad mood, he'll make sure his gesture, his touch makes you understand so.

Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Truthfully, if he could just live in a bedroom and have sex from dawn to dusk, he would. His sex drive, his libido is endless. I believe very few can fully satisfy him - and I don't think he expects any partner to actually have a sex drive that high. Which means that even if you two have regular sex, he still masturbates a lot. When you're not with him (and if he has the opportunity because ninja life is full of surprises), he'd masturbate four, five times a day. Anything can make him horny; just the thought of you naked is enough (and imagine when he catches a glimpse of you naked when you exit the bathroom!). He's pretty basic in his masturbation most of the time, only touching his dick. As I said before, he likes having clothes of you, especially a panty, to either smell or jack off in.

Sometimes, he'll jack off next to you. He'd ask you to open your leg, so he can place his head right next to your sex, comforted by the position, the warmth and the smell and jack off right there.

Kink (one or more of their kinks) (mention of roleplay of teacher/student, omegaverse

Is there even a kink he doesn't have. I'm going to focus on three I hadn't had time to develop:

He loves roleplaying and he's open to pretty much any scenario. Teacher/student? Yes, he also thinks he needs to be punished. Royalty/Gods? He also thinks you deserve to be worshipped. Some darker scenarios like kidnapping interest him too. I also think he likes to roleplay the characters of his novels (by the way, yes, you're a muse when it comes to his novel). I firmly believe he wrote something similar to omegaverse and will definitely act as an alpha or let you act as an omega; or roles reversed. He'll totally take some days where one of you pretends to have ruts or heats and well, you two need to take care of it.

Sensory deprivation, especially on him. He loves the idea of being tied up, blinded, maybe deafened, and you touching his body. It enhances all his sensations and makes me shiver and moan like crazy. In general, he's not that quick to ejaculate, but when you touch his body like that, he's really quick to come.

Underwears. We already established he loved smelling and jacking into your underwear. But there's another thing that gets him going: you wearing his underwear, preferably already used. He just loves the idea of your two smells mixing, of two very intimate things being close.

Location (Favorite places to do the do) (public sex)

The bed is a good place to have sex in it but he has so many ideas. Remember, this guy wakes up and spends his day horny; and the mere idea of fucking you in very mundane place sends him over the edge. You're cooking? He'll pin you against the counter. You're brushing your teeth? Bending over the lavabo. You're working on some paper? Nope, you're sitting on the table now and he's between your legs. He'll fuck you outside of course - and when I say outside, I mean on the streets. Not main avenue, but you'll definitely find yourself with your face against a concrete wall and your pants around your ankle, with fresh air brushing your sex. He also likes to fuck you when you're both taking a bath, just a pure moment of intimacy and relaxation.

Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

See Kink part: the real question is what doesn't turn him on?

Okay, more seriously. He likes you in your everyday clothes, but knowing you made yourself extra pretty with lingerie? That's the quickest way to send him on cloud nine. He also loves when you act all innocent but you're actually showing off your cleavage, outlining the line of your hard dick or jiggling your ass before him. You know the cliché scene when a character drops something and the skirt is short enough to show the panty? That. Oh! And it's even better if you don't have any underwear, actually. It means you want to get fucked and Jiraiya is more than happy to oblige.

No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) (mention of cnc kidnapping)

Few things are hard limits for him, and I think "true" cnc is that for him. He's fine, enjoys, scenes where he's the "bad guy", like, for example, kidnapping you, but it needs to be the kind of scenario where the victim secretly wants it/enjoys it quickly. Even if he knows it's fake, you screaming "no" or that kind of thing really makes him feel bad.

Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He eats you/sucks you like you're a meal - and he's going to eat at least three times a day. He's very skilled at this, knows exactly where to put his tongue and how to relax his throat. Whatever your length, he'll swallow you in a go. He loves making eye contact, watching your face dissolves into pleasure. He loves when you mount him, loves when he feels like his only use is to give you pleasure. I'd say he has two modes. Either he eats/sucks you slowly, sloppily, almost as if he only wanted to have something in his mouth, a bit like an everyday activity while you (try to) do something else; and when he puts his whole mind and body into it and you can only shake under (or above) him. This man isn't scared either to eat your ass out, it's really desert after main course.

He's, at his core, a simple man: you on all four, sucking him off is more than enough to make him pant and groan. If you're not skilled yet, he'll be more than happy to teach you how to do it. He can't stay still, though. He'll trust into you, pull your head, your head. He loves seeing you choke on his dick and even more seeing cum overflow from your mouth. He'd probably cum on your face or chest, too, because you're truly an art vision covered in cum. If you want to send this man to paradise, spend extra time on his heavy balls.

Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You know the line: it'll depend on the mood. He's as much capable of setting a brutal pace, one that'll leave you shaking on the floor than making tender, slow (almost agonizing slow) love to you.

Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

This man can't live off quickies, he needs to also have longer moments with you. That being said, quickies are so hot to him. Not having even the time to undress, being in some public space (probably not at home), just the chase of both your relief… yes. There's something so casual, so intent relief, that really pleases him. There's the excitement at the idea that even knowing he's so big, you'd do little to no preparation to take him because you need him that bad. He'd be the one proposing them often, I think. He prefers nothing over your warmth.

Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Very willing to experiment with any kink, even ones he didn't like before, because sometimes it's more about being on the same line than the thing itself? He's also ready to take risks, like doing it in public, that sort of thing but I think there's one risk he is absolutely no game to take: it's your health. If he thinks something will do more bad than right, can really harm you more than a few scratches and bruises, he won't do it. Same goes for himself: he enjoys being a bit roughed up, but no real pain.

Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can go on forever, for real. First of all, he won't stop until you're at least satisfied, and he'll go for as many rounds as needed. If he still isn't satisfied and you're not in the mood anymore/already sleepy, he'll go for some personal rounds. He's the kind of guy who can spend a whole weekend just having sex with you - hence the rut/heat roleplay that he can pull.

Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) (unprotected sex)

Of course he owns toys, and it's a very large collection. He has dildos of every size, and some of weird shapes, that he's willing to use on you or himself. He has things to stimulate the clitoris and also straps. I think his favourites are the Ben Wa balls (I hope it's the good name) and will torture you with it a lot. And plugs! He has tons of plugs. He'll make you wear some. He loves when you plug yourself up after he filled you up, or when you bend over with a plug in your hole, meaning that you can take him right now. He'd own also plugs with tails (I realized I didn't have time to really mention or explore pet play with Jiraiya, but this man is definitely a pet owner), and lots of clamps for your pretty nipples.

Unfair (How much they like to tease)

The real problem with teasing is that he'll cave before you do, most of the time. He likes to tease you, make you catch a glimpse at his body, or touch your inner thighs, but he'll generally be the one stopping the teasing because he can't resist the urge to fuck you.

Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

It depends if he's the dom or the sub. As a dom, he'll be relatively quiet I believe, focused on you, on making you feel good. He will let out grunts and groans, sighs and little growls, but it'll be relatively quiet. When he's subbing, when you're on him or behind him, he'll be louder, lost between panting, aaahh-ing and pleading for more, or telling you how good you taste.

Wild Card (Random headcanon)

I think he struggles with threesomes. Before meeting you, when it was just for a night (or a few nights), he was more than willing to spend the night with several people. But when it comes to the two of you, he struggles. He both doesn't really like someone else touching you, but he frankly doesn't like touching someone that isn't you. I think it just blocks him. He knows it's not cheating, but it feels a bit too much like it for him, and he can't do it. Orgy, however, doesn't feel the same for some reason. It feels less personal: you don't know and don't have to know the people that bring you pleasure, and it's more mindless fun for him. I think he also loves the idea of you watching over him while he's getting used to please others - but in the end, you're the only one that matters to him and you're only watching him, so that's not the same.

X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

He's massive. Like "'it won't fit' is your first reaction" massive. He knows he is, but he also loves to know he can fill you, make you so full of him. Loves to know that when you take him, there's no way you can be thinking about something else than his dick. He's long, around 23 cm/9 inches and you can barely wrap his dick with your hand.

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Probably higher than you, as I said. He can do it several times a day, every day of the week of every month.

ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He feels relaxed after coming, but not especially sleepy. Plus, he won't sleep if you fuck during the day. But if you have sex at night, he'll sleep after he's sure you've been taken care of, that you're ready to sleep.

#jiraiya #jirayia #jiraya #jiraiya x you #jiraiya x reader #jiraiya x oc #naruto shippuden #sannin #naruto smut #smut alphabet #jiraiya headcanons #jiraiya hc #jiraiya imagines

223 notes · View notes

oxyvouge · 3 months

Text

: ̗̀➛ wax wings ༊·˚

summary: after the news of Sirius cheating on you broke out to the whole wizarding world, you confronted him about it.

━━ ✦ pairing(s): husband! sirius black x wife! reader

━━ ✦ warning: cheating

━━ ✦ word count: 1,382

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'M BACK but several months late 😭🙏. here's your request, @lilacspider. hope y'all enjoy <333

YOU DIDN'T exactly remember how you got in this position; with your eyes screaming anger, sadness, and regret all in one in front of your husband himself, Sirius Black.

You didn't get it, why would he do this? And you will never get it. What was the reason? Were you not enough? Aren't you both happy? Why did everything lead to this? There were so many questions floating in your head yet you preferred if they were left unanswered.

Tho, you quite vividly remembered how you watched your son going back to his playroom after giving you a letter he found somewhere inside the house. How Marlene drank all the remaining butterbeer, putting it down on the table with a loud clang.

How Marlene also started talking shit about Sirius. "Honestly, Black can fuck Merlin's Beard. He and his bloody dick can't control itself." How Dorcas kicked Marlene after hearing what she said. "What? I'm right tho. If he controlled his dick, Y/N wouldn't even be in this situation now."

Everything could ramble all over your fuzzy mind but you would never forget how you looked into a specific page of the Daily Prophet reading Sirius' name. BLACK'S AFFAIR BRINGS SHAME TO FAMILY LEGACY. It was written on the headline.

You couldn't bring yourself to read the whole article. It was heart-wrenching. What would become of your son if he was to know? That the whole wizarding world knew about his father's affair except for him.

But you couldn't bring yourself to tell him about it so here you are, confronting Sirius about it with angry tears from the all-for-nothing years that were wasted because of a single affair.

Letters burnt but a single is saved yet crumpled in between your tightly closed hands.

"Be careful with that one, love. He may have already left the Black household, but what runs through him will never leave. He will do what it takes to survive." That was what Dorcas said. Was what they all said. But did you believe it?

You heard rumors about him yet never once in your life have you doubted Sirius' faithfulness until now.

"Are you happy now? Do you feel proud of yourself?" You managed to crack out. "You got back at the legacy you've always been talking about. And now you have a broken family. Congratulations." Legacy. Such a word to risk something important for. But was it just something important?

Sirius didn't say anything. Maybe he was too ashamed to even say anything. He should be. Sirius opened his mouth to speak yet he didn't say anything. You noted how his jaw clenched and his eyes darting everywhere all at once refusing to look you back in the eye.

"You think you're so slick, don't you? Slithering around behind my back like some kind of serpent. You should've been with the Slytherins like your whole family. Tell me, Sirius, why did you do it?"

A scoff was the only sound that came from his mouth. Sirius set his eyes on you, courage slowly building up and that lump in his throat disappearing. "You were gone. I was alone and lonely." Was the only thing he said.

It didn't need you a minute or two to put things together. It's his dick. It always has been. "Was she worth it then? Trading our vows for your lack of companionship?"

"This isn't the first time, Y/N." Dorcas took a look at you and held your hand in an assuring way. "You've married an Icarus, he has flown too close to the sun." They must've been laughing at you already. Noting how dumb you could be, especially in the face of love.

"No! She was no one! She begged me." Sirius cried. He never cried like this so hard ever since he left the Black household for the better.

You laughed. It was stupid. Men and their ability to make stupid decisions with their dick. "Because you were alone? Do you even know why you're alone, Sirius? Because you refuse to come home and now you're pulling me that bloody excuse of loneliness like it was my fault when it wasn't!"

"But I still love you, Y/N!" He kneeled, wanting to grab your hand and beg to all of the Gods out there, Merlin, but most importantly, to you.

"No. I refuse to believe that. That became a lie ever since you were entangled with that woman." You felt tears building up in the corner of your eyes but you would never let it fall. Not when he could see and may use for his self-pleasure. "My—Cepheus, our son, was always coming to our bedroom asking when you'd be back." You emphasized. "You know what I always tell him? I tell him, "Daddy will come home, honey, once you're a good and big boy already!" and he must've already memorized it."

"I'm a big boy now, aren't I, mother?" Your 6-year-old son asked as he stood in front of a measuring tape for his height.

You've always been in front of your porch, waiting when Sirius would come home. "When was the last time he came home?" You remembered Lily asking that and how you stayed silent thinking carefully, when did he last come home? But you never knew the answer to that.

"Every time I look at you now, I see nothing but betrayal etched into your face. That must've been the reason why you never come home."

Maybe you should've burned the article moments ago so you didn't have to be in this position. Like how you burnt the letters he gave you. "Did your wax wings melt? Because I would never understand where you got the courage to do that and admit it like it was never your fault."

You turn from him and into the table where the newspaper lies. You turn to snatch it from there and show it to Sirius. You let out a chuckle, "It was ironic, honestly. You've always talked about legacy; legacy this, legacy that." You took a moment to compose yourself yet your eyes never left Sirius'. "Are you that blind Sirius? They aren't your legacy Sirius. Your legacy isn't your family who you turned your back on. Not Hogwarts. Not the Marauders. Not the Wizarding World. Not them but us. We are your legacy."

You've married the brightest star in the sky, he collided with another and everything exploded. "You've left scars on my heart that may never heal, all because you couldn't keep it in your pants."

You regained your posture and said, "By the break of dawn, I want every each one your clothes and things gone from this house."

"Mommy, is everything alright?" You heard a soft voice calling out to you. You turned to look at the door and saw how your son was holding onto the doorknob, peaking with his tired eyes that came from his sleep. Sirius stood up from the floor and turned away from Cepheus. "Dad?"

You passed Sirius and walked straight towards your son. "Baby?" You bent down to look at him and saw how he rubbed his eyes with a yawn. "Come on, let's go to bed. Daddy has things to do and he's in a hurry baby."

"He's always gone." Your son muttered, catching Sirius' attention. You both left the room and closed the door behind you.

"Did you and dad fight, mommy?" You only managed to smile.

Dear Y/N,

You're the person I want to spend my entire life with. You're the match in a world full of moths and it's drawing me to you. I chased you ever since first year and I don't plan on just walking towards you anytime soon. I want to run. Let's run till we can't anymore. I would watch the world burn, let the supernova engulf the Universe, and let everything fall apart in front of us as long as I'm with you.

I love you so much, my love. Words can't explain how much I love you to the Saturn and back. But maybe, I'm certain, every time I look at you, I fell a million times over.

Let's build a family. A new legacy of the Blacks. It'll be for us all; and maybe, just maybe we can show them what being a Black is really like.

With all love,

S. O. B.

you can make a request here where you'll be guided by the guidelines and check out the masterlist.

this is the most beautiful thing i've written 🥹🥹

ps. i still hate cheaters.

#dead gay wizards from the 70s #marauders era #sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black angst #fic request #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #lily evans #oxyvouge writes

52 notes · View notes

vidavalor · 26 days

Note

have u ever seen the "his name has Ra in it. Ra is the Egyptian god of sun. Sun has three letters. A triangle has three peaks. Illuminati is a triangle. That means that he's illuminati" videos?

cuz ur like that but cooler and more educative

The last line of your message means you can have chocolate pie. 💕*sets you up with a plate* I was getting a little nervous there for a second lol. I think that any book or show that causes its audience to engage so much is a great one and if someone is enjoying making connections like the ones you described, then it's their life to enjoy. I'm not going to yuck on anyone's yum but I have seen some theories that I honestly had difficulty following so I get whatcha sayin' and I appreciate the compliment.

If I said this next sentence with any other context but with regards to Good Omens, you'd all try to have me committed lol but here it is: I'm following language-related directions from The Voice of God. Literally. I have it in the works to do a post on that alone because the show is actually teaching the audience Crowley & Aziraphale's vocabulary and it's provided some keys at times as to where in the show you can find lessons in it. In S2, there's also a meta scene about it, which is the "Professor Rossignol" scene. Some brief thoughts on that and, since you were nice enough to drop me a note, also on Ra and The Illuminati while we're at it, just for kicks.

It's no good to make it evident to your audience that your main characters are speaking a secret language that they've made up if the audience can't be taught to speak it because then the meaning of what's being said is lost, right? And it is very obvious that Crowley & Aziraphale have their own vocabulary. There are a lot of examples of it but one scene, in particular, that stands out to me is 1967 because it is literally impossible to make heads or tails of what they're fully discussing unless you try to figure out what Aziraphale means by "dangerous." He tells Crowley that he's heard about Crowley's plan to rob a church for holy water and then says to him this, word-for-word:

"I can't have you risking your life. Not even for something dangerous."

What does that mean, right? If you didn't already get a sense that their words don't add up on the surface sometimes, you get smacked in the face with it in that scene. Aziraphale's phrasing puts "dangerous"-- a word with a scary, negative connotation-- in the position of a positive, cherished thing that Crowley would see worth risking his life for and the end result is that "dangerous" must mean something to them besides the surface definition of the word. [What it does is something someone else has asked me for so post on that to come.] Right there, though? You have hidden vocabulary. One of the most important scenes in the show and it makes no sense without an awareness of it. This is all long before Crowley's standing there saying "no nightingales" in 2.06.

There are other scenes where something doesn't add up without an awareness of hidden language being spoken. Why does Crowley melt into a puddle of burning goo at Aziraphale saying "We will win, you know" about Heaven winning Armageddon in 1.01? Because, as other scenes and The Voice of God's narration teach, when they're speaking of Heaven or Hell with pluralized pronouns, they're really talking about the two of them together beneath the surface. That's why Crowley's face melts into a lovesick gaze and hint of a smile when Aziraphale says "we will win"-- because Aziraphale is saying that he and Crowley will win.

In S2, Aziraphale says he learned French "the hard way" with "Professor Rossignol" in 1760. Aziraphale already speaks French. He and Crowley, as Crowley points out in the scene, speak every language of the world. It's a nod towards how you can speak a language but a secret language like theirs is one that can be built out of words that sound familiar but are put together in a way that you need to understand in order to comprehend what is being said.

In the course of the scene, Aziraphale speaks French to Crowley and what he says is a riff on "la plume de ma tante"-- a French phrase that refers to the kinds of sentences that you are taught when you learn a new language that you would never actually say in real life. This scene is actually nodding to the "la plume de ma tante"s of Ineffable Husbands Speak and where you can find them in the series.

The reason why those sentences exist the way they do when you are learning a new language is to teach as much vocabulary as possible alongside teaching people how to conjugate verbs, etc.. This is why you are never taught practical sentences like "Excuse me, where is the restroom?" or "Yes, I would like to buy that bread, please." but are, instead, taught sentences like "Is it true that you can buy white onions at the library on Tuesdays?" lol. It's because when you are a child and you learn the native language or languages spoken by the people around you, you absorb thousands of words just by living in that world but when you are a teenager or an adult learning a new language, you start almost from scratch. You need to learn as much vocabulary as possible as soon as possible, in order to become fluent. Aziraphale says he learned some "la plume de ma tante"-like sentences (in a language he already speaks but in which he wanted to play better) from a professor whose name eagle-eyed fans already translated as meaning "nightingale" in French, right?

Nightingales (the birds) and also nightingales (the skeleton keys). The Rossignol family created The Great Cipher that encrypted communications for the French government for centuries-- they literally built a secret language. If you want to learn Ineffable Husbands Speak, the show is saying, you need to follow the nightingales. So, who taught us about "nightingale" being a word related to Crowley & Aziraphale? God. Whose sentences, at times, smack of "la plume de ma tante"-like vocabulary lessons? God. What better character to teach us what we need to know than the literal Voice of God, right? God is our Professor Rossignol.

God's 1.01 line of "The Russian cultural attache's black bread is particularly sought after by the more discerning duck" is the most la plume de ma tante sentence in Good Omens lol and the four sentences-- of which that is one-- that God says to re-introduce us to Crowley & Aziraphale in the St. James' Park scene, when picked apart using language elements things suggested by God's opening monologue at the start of the series, contain almost every element of the vocabulary, with other scenes reinforcing and adding to it throughout.

Further suggesting this is the way to go is that if you apply the same instructions to the top part of Demon's Guide to Angelic Beings Who Walk the Earth (the bit above Aziraphale's entry), you'll find the guidelines repeated-- and notes to us that include everything you would need to unlock the hidden language in the entries for Aziraphale and Baraqiel (Crowley) beneath them. I'm not just randomly deciding this is what stuff means, is mah point lol. I'm taking lessons from Frances McDormand.

As for Ra and The Illuminati, well... to date, I've seen Ra come up as one of the many, many words in Demon's Guide to Angelic Beings, which are hidden-in-plain-sight coded love letters. Aziraphale uses it in relation to Crowley. Ra is the ancient Egyptian god of the sun and was depicted as a figure that was half-bird, half-man. That alone would probably be amusing to Crowley & Aziraphale. Aziraphale referring to Crowley as the god of the sun is just romantic. The sun is a star and Crowley made them; the Earth and all life and their life on it would die without the vital warmth of the sun. There is no food and no peace and no life without it. Calling his very old serpent partner the god of the sun sure sounds like Aziraphale saying that he can't live without him.

As for the masons and Gabriel... I took it as a joke about conspiracy, actually, not something suggesting one. The bartender at the pub assumes that Gabriel and Beez are masons-- meaning Freemasons-- because he thinks that there is a local chapter that meets nearby. The bartender has made assumptions about Gabriel and Beez that add up to "not from around here" and assumes they're there for a mason meeting. Gabriel is well-dressed and clueless in a rich sort of way to the bartender-- he doesn't know what a jukebox is and he's in an expensive-looking suit. He also has an American accent so the bartender figures he's probably not a local. Gabriel doesn't dissuade the bartender from thinking that he and Beez are Freemasons because Gabriel has no idea what that is-- because the bartender said "masons" and, honestly, that actually is pretty close to what Gabriel is by his own definition.

A mason works to make things out of stone and the original meaning of the word was specifically related to those making stone walls. Gabriel was in Eden at the start-- the ultimate in stone walls built-- and he also just took Beez to see a statue of himself carved out of stone. Walls are really all Gabriel's ever overseen being built or ever reinforced or ever known before Beez. He's not the most poetic of beings but he can see an analogy there where he is the imprisoned imprisoner of those in Heaven and he just doesn't dispute it because not like he's about to tell the bartender that he's actually The Supreme Archangel of Heaven and Commander of the Heavenly Host 😄 so, letting the guy assume that he works in stone seems like a good solution, as it's actually barely a lie.

The irony is that, etymologically-speaking, the bartender is actually more correct: Gabriel, in the pub that night with Beez, isn't a mason. He's a free mason. Because he's with Beez and the two of them together are carving a path out of their prison walls. Gabriel has actually joined "The Illuminati"-- because he's been illuminated... he's been enlightened. Dude's going to be Grand Master Wizard of The Illuminati or whatever it's called in S3 and bring a whole lot more with him, Beez, Crowley & Aziraphale along the way. He consumes beverages now. There's nothing holding him back. 😂

Anyway, thanks for indulging my ramblings and have a great night. 💕

#ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 #crowley #aziraphale #good omens s2 #good omens theory

35 notes · View notes

berrypockets · 2 years

Text

"Here's the list you requested, Mr. Shelby." Tommy looks up from the paper his reading, in came the view of a girl smiling at him brightly.

"And you are?" He asks. It was the first time seeing her, someone who he didn't knew was bringing him important and confidential papers about the business.

The woman didn't like the question, she held the papers in arms tighter as she takes a step back looking down in slight embarrassment. The smile on her face fades as she nods in understanding. Polly sees her reaction and is annoyed by his nephew's actions, "For heavens sake Tommy, that's Y/N!" She scolds him. "She has been here for almost two weeks."

Tommy just kept quiet as he wasn't sure about the situation. He would certainly know if there was someone new working for him, especially to be his secretary. He just looks at Polly for an answer.

Polly was getting more annoyed, "Lizzie took leave remember? I hired Y/N to fill in the position 'till Lizzie comes back."

"Y/N eh? I think I know a girl with that name." Arthur says, he had seen her in the office a couple of times for the past week but the name came familiar to him.

"Y/N," John murmurs. "I'll remember a girl's name if she has a pretty face as yours." He then winks at her.

Y/N game a small smile and proceeds to leave the office. Arthur and John kept their eyes on her back causing Polly to roll her eyes and throwing her purse to the two. Tommy kept glaring at the door, he did remember Lizzie taking leave and Polly saying to hire a temporary secretary but he didn’t quite remember Y/N over the past two weeks that she had started working just as Polly said.

"Are you married?" Tommy ask one afternoon.

Y/N who was cleaning the table from the scattered papers in the conference room that a meeting was just held. She turns to her boss, startled by his question.

"No, Mr. Shelby." She answers his question. Tommy just nods his head and continues to smoke, it wasn't like him asking questions like that but as he saw that there wasn't a ring on her finger he just have to ask.

"Actually, I don't know sir." Y/N answers the question for a second time.

Something inside Tommy lighted, now he was curious. "Why is that?"

"I don't know if my fiancé still wants me." There was hurt in her smile and Tommy knew that there was truth in Y/N's words.

"Did he left?" He asks her again.

She nods her head, "And came back. But not the same person he was when he left."

"Nobody came home, Y/N. Nobody came home." He could understand the man, after all he died in France and the man who came home wasn't him anymore. "But that man of yours is a total arse if he won't marry you." He adds.

Her smile brightens and so did Tommy's mood lightens.

"Thank you, Mr. Shelby."

Over the next couple of weeks the entire office had become more lively as laughters could be heard, the air was light and wasn't too stiff, bright rays of the sun illuminates making the rooms more brighter and inviting.

Tommy couldn't care less of his employees personal life, he attends to his business and leaves without a care. He did spent the most of his times in his office than the Garrison, he didn't want to admit it but everyday he was looking forward to Y/N's, Good Morning Mr. Shelby, Thank you Mr. Shelby, Of course Mr. Shelby, Have a great day Mr. Shelby, or Take care Mr. Shelby. So all of his confusion was written on his face when Y/N presented her resignation letter one evening.

"Resigning?" It was obvious but he have to ask. He needed to hear it from her not to read it on some letter.

"Yes sir, Ms. Stark will be back tomorrow and this'll be my last day." Her words stood tall, she had already made up her mind.

"Please stay." He grab a hold of Y/N's hand as he pleads.

"I would love to sir, but I can't." She places her hand over his. "Personal reasons."

"I understand," he honestly do. "Will that man of yours marry you?"

"I don't think he will, Mr. Shelby." And with her answer, Tommy's eyes twinkle in delight and a smile upon his face.

"Then, can I see you Y/N?"

"I'd appreciate it if you would visit me first sir."

"Where do you live? I'll be sure to visit you everyday." Tommy leans as their faces just a short distance from touching.

"The cemetery."

"You live in the cemetery?"

"Is that weird?

"No Y/N. I think it's just fucking perfect." He cups her face as they shared their first kiss.

The next day, Tommy made his was to the cemetery with the flowers he bought in hand. There were houses nearby but he wasn't sure where she lives.

"Do you know someone named Y/N who lives near here?" He descided to ask a boy who was cleaning one of the tombstone.

The boy gives him a nod, a signal that he knows the person he was looking for. Tommy took a shilling from his pocket and gives it to the boy, "Take me to her."

The boy could believe his eyes, the money he was holding was probably the most he had ever made, he quickly stood and leads the way.

Meanwhile in the office, Lizzie was annoyed as she scans each side of the papers, making sure there wasn't any scribbles. "Why are there flower drawings on almost all of the papers?" Her question was for anyone who could hear.

"Y/N likes to draw them." Arthur says as he remembered a day when he saw her focused of drawing on one of the rejected letters.

Lizzie just looks at him blankly, she wasn't sure if Arthur was making things up. Polly then explains, "She was the temporary secretary we hired."

"Her name was Y/N?" Lizzie asks.

"Of course, her name was... Y/N..." Polly couldn't understand the feeling she just had. It was as if a weight was upon her chest as she attempted to say the girl's name.

"Polly, why did you hire a girl with the same name as Tommy's dead fiancée?"

"This is her sir. I know her because her name's the most beautiful of all." The boy says as he stops in front of a gravestone.

And at that moment, it was as if the clock had started to tick once again. Time was moving as fast as the memories keeps on crashing.

Polly couldn't stop her hand shaking as she sobbed, Arthur and John were holding back their tears.

Tommy clenched the flowers in his hand, everyone was angry at themselves because they didn't remember the girl that had spent an entire month with them.

Tommy didn't know what day it was. He didn't know what year it was. He didn't even know if it was night or day under those tunnels. But he did remember the day he received a letter from home.

Dear Thomas,

I am writing to inform you of a terrible news. My husband tells me that I shouldn't but I think you should know. At the last day of spring, our beloved Y/N left us. It was sudden and unexpected, but I know she is resting well with our maker. Come back home because I know that's what she wanted.

Lucy.

It was the letter that he burned as he didn't believed a word written on that paper. It was the day he wanted to get out of those tunnels and just run on the frontline. It was the day he wanted to die. To be buried in those tunnels or just shot dead. It was the day he denied everything. The day he denied that the love of his life was gone.

"I know your parents gave us their blessing, put I promise you Y/N, when I return I'll buy you the most expensive ring and I'll give you the wedding you deserve."

"Come back home to me, Tommy." Y/N caresses his face with all the love she had. "I'll be happy to marry you in the Garrison, as long as you just come back home to me."

What they didn't know that the kiss they shared that day of the departure was to be their last.

It was something no one could explain. No one knew what exactly happened. They all knew she was dead. They all knew her from when she was small. They all knew what he looked like. But they couldn't explain why they didn't remember her. It was as if their memories were reset, making her familiar but not known. The dead came back and lived amongst them.

"I came back home, Y/N. Just like I promised. I came back home."

"What happened to her sir?" The boy asks.

"She died."

Y/N L/N was founded dead on the morning in the last day of spring. It was Lucy, the house maid and the nanny to the L/N's children since who found her. She was found drowned on her own bathtub with white roses floating on the water; her favorite flowers.

[ MASTERLIST ]

Note: That's it. That's the story. Please don't hate me.

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders imagine #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby angst #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x fem!reader #tommy shelby x oc #jyessaminereads

523 notes · View notes

weirdkpopgirl · 4 months

Text

My Last | Jaemin Fic #3

Title: My Last

Genre: College AU

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, self-harm, family problems. please do not read if those topics make you uncomfortable

Word Count: ~16k

Author's Note: Here is the part two/sequel to my Renjun story (My First). I literally started writing this a few years ago and didn't finish until now. Honestly, I wanted to give up on this story because I don't like it very much. But I thought I should for those who read the first story. I still hope you guys like it ^ ^

If you haven't read the first part of this story you can read it here

𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪

Kim (Y/n) thought leaving it all behind would make her happier. But the past two years showed her that running away from her problems couldn't change anything. She and her father moved to his hometown, Busan. She found herself in a different city, a different neighborhood, a different house, and a different high school, marking a fresh new start for her. Maybe she was too optimistic at the beginning.

The students at her new school quickly singled her out as the pathetic transfer girl with divorced parents. No one made an effort to talk to her. But she wasn't too fazed by it. After what had happened at her previous school, she wasn’t willing to get close to anyone again.

Time passed, and she focused on her studies as she had always done. The household was less chaotic with just her dad and herself. They were both quiet people who barely talked to each other, and she wasn't bothered much by that either.

Deciding before she graduated wasn't as stressful as it could've been. After passing the CSAT exam, a few acceptance letters rolled in. She was only able to get one scholarship from a college in Seoul, covering most of her tuition and dorm living expenses.

In the next few months, she was back to where she had started.

Things would be different this time, she told herself. Returning to her hometown didn't mean she was going to encounter anyone from her past, at least if she tried hard enough. But she was wrong.

Her mom, the woman she had hoped to never see again, reappeared in her life. She didn't seem to have changed since the last time they had seen each other. Perhaps driven by a lingering sense of guilt, she found herself compelled to check on her mother's well-being. Yet, she sometimes felt like she was reliving her childhood again. Except this time she was the parent, and her mother was the child.

Her mother's moods were unpredictable, fluctuating between highs and lows. Despite enduring numerous instances of being screamed at, (Y/n) recognized the importance of not being selfish. Ultimately, she was her mom, and (Y/n) was her only daughter. In the end, she was all her mother had.

In addition to her college commitments, she took on a part-time job to earn some money. She picked up a barista position, where she worked throughout the week. Oftentimes she left shifts with the scent of coffee clinging to her hair.

"Hey, you know that customer over there?" Her coworker pointed something out to her one day.

Hesitantly, she looked in the direction her coworker was gesturing to. A boy who looked about her age was sitting at the table near the front window, with another guy across from him. He had short, light brown hair with bangs that made him appear younger. She couldn't deny that he was attractive.

"What about him?" She asked, glancing back down at what she was doing before.

Her coworker nudged her elbow. "I think he might be interested in you. He only comes on the days you're working here."

Out of curiosity, she looked back up to see the slight surprise in his expression when she did, but it was immediately replaced with a smile.

"He's pretty good-looking too!" Her coworker gushed. "What if he asks you out?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. There was no chance she was going to let herself be charmed by a stranger who she had only seen a handful of times. Besides, she couldn't fathom that a guy would like her.

Despite how her coworker faltered at her lack of interest, she shook her head and didn't bother to look at him again.

"Yeah, like that would ever happen."

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

She worked at his favorite coffee place on the weekends. But the café wasn't the only place he had seen her. She didn't seem to notice that they attended the same college. Her name was Kim (Y/n), a first-year student at Myung-guk University. They were both freshmen, so he had seen her in a few of his general education classes.

Jaemin didn't know when exactly he caught feelings. All of a sudden, he just found himself paying more attention to her. With the few chances he got to see her, he used them to take in her features. She had long, chestnut brown hair with bangs that brushed over her forehead. Her eyes were a few shades darker than her hair. She didn't wear any makeup, as the majority of her face was covered by the round, silver-rimmed glasses she wore. She always dressed so neatly, making her overall look fairly minimalistic.

Something about (Y/n) was different from what he was used to seeing. Unlike the other girls who swooned over him every time he passed by, she didn't even bat an eye. In class, she rarely spoke to anyone and always kept to herself in a reserved manner. She seemed disinterested in what everyone else was doing.

At the coffee shop, she was mostly the same. But she was kind to the customers and efficient in her work. Part of him was glad she was always so focused. She had yet to catch him admiring her from afar.

“Why don't you just ask her out already?” Jeno lightly elbowed him.

He was nice as a best friend and roommate. But he didn't know a thing when it came to romance.

Shaking his head, he took another sip of his black coffee. “Not yet, Jeno. It's too soon.”

When he turned to see her again, she was looking at him. He thought it was the first time she had properly noticed him. Trying not to stress too much, he sent her a smile. But instead of smiling back, she shook her head and walked to the back room.

However, he refused to let this one interaction discourage him. He had this gut feeling that told him she was the one for him.. It didn't matter if he had to wait. Good things came slowly, so one could treasure them more.

(Y/n) was like this puzzle, waiting to be put together by the right person. And Jaemin was confident that person was going to be him.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

Since that day, she became more aware of the attractive customer. Once she got a better look, she recognized him from somewhere.

She was pretty sure his name was Na Jaemin. She hadn't realized that they were in the same grade. As if things couldn't become any more peculiar, he was also in a few of her classes. She guessed she had been too focused on staying in her bubble to notice.

Jaemin was talked about quite a bit on campus. Of course, for all the reasons that didn't surprise her. He was charming, the girls couldn't seem to stop whispering about him, and all the guys wanted to be his friend. Other than that, she didn't know much about him, nor did she have the desire to.

From her impression, he was probably just one of those guys who dated too many girls and had a big ego. Maybe she was judging too quickly. Regardless, she decided she wanted nothing to do with Jaemin. He could stare at her all he wanted to at work. But he wasn't going to get a reaction from her. At least, that was what she had told herself.

"One iced americano!"

Her head was down in an attempt to avoid eye contact when she called his order. She heard the chair being pushed back and his footsteps coming closer to the counter.

"Ah, perfect every time," He sighed after taking a sip. His voice was a lot deeper than she had expected. Gesturing the drink to her, he smiled. "Thank you!"

Barely looking at him, she nodded and was relieved when he didn't say anything else. She thought that would be the end of what was barely a conversation. But then in the following week, he came again at his usual time, which was before noon. Rather than taking his drink and thanking her as usual, he stuck around a little longer.

"You're Kim (Y/n), right? I've seen you a few times at university."

Trying to get out of the conversation as soon as possible, she looked up at him and nodded. "Was there something else you needed?"

"Well, not exactly," He gave her that same smile from the last time. "I just wanted to ask if you're perhaps free after you get off of work?"

"Sorry, I have something to do today," She lied, immediately turning him down.

"Oh," His tone deflated. "That's fine, I understand. Another day, maybe?"

She sighed. Why was this guy so persistent?

"Excuse me, but you are a stranger to me, and I think we should keep it that way."

"So…you're saying no?"

"No," She said without thinking and quickly facepalmed. "I mean yes!"

Jaemin laughed, "I see you're a bit confused. I'll just ask next time."

"Wait, don't-" She started to say. But to her dismay, he had already left with his coffee.

She tried not to panic over what happened. Maybe he'd forget about it all when he came by again. But who was she kidding; he probably wouldn't.

A few days later, she was quickly packing up to leave class. Jaemin was there, which made her more nervous than anything. Luckily, he didn't seem to pay any attention to her during the lecture.

But when she went to grab her phone, she noticed a small blue sticky note that wasn't there before.

It would be nice to get to know each other, right? (˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)

She was glad he wasn't there to see her cheeks turn pink when she saw his phone number attached. Why was he doing this? Was he targeting her as his next girl to play with?

She didn't know, and she didn't want to know the answer. Crumpling the paper in her hand, she threw it into her bag and spent the rest of the day trying to shove what happened out of her head.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

Even though she had refused him once already, Jaemin wasn't going to give up. He knew that pursuing (Y/n) wouldn't be easy, but the challenging aspect made things fun. She could put up as many obstacles as she wanted, and he was fully prepared to jump over one after the other.

It was so cute to see her get flustered when he talked to her. She may not think much of him right now, which further motivated him to prove to her that he had good intentions.

Jaemin saw her in the cafeteria one day, sitting alone at the table near the big windows. This was the perfect opportunity, he thought to himself. Without any hesitation, he quickly ordered his lunch and went to stand by the seat across from her.

"It's okay if I sit here, right?"

(Y/n) looked at him as if he was some newly discovered alien. Her eyes scattered around the other people around them who gave looks and made unnecessary whispers. He was used to ignoring them as much as possible.

Don't get him wrong, he thought it was nice that so many people at college admired him, especially since he was just a freshman. But he couldn't help but get slightly annoyed when people tried to hang out with him and acted all fake.

Before she could answer, Jaemin already set his lunch tray on the table. Once he sat down, he smiled at her.

"You and I must think alike," he gestured to their choices of meals for today, which was fish cake soup with udon noodles.

Her fingers tightened around her chopsticks. "Jaemin, why do you keep doing this to me?"

"What do you mean?" He asked and picked up his own utensils to eat.

"I'm not sure what your intentions are," she cleared her voice, "But I can assure you won't get far with a nobody like me."

He would've thought she was joking if it weren't for the bitterness in her tone.

"A nobody? Is that what you see yourself as?"

She nearly choked on her food when he asked her that. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, unsure of how to respond. Thankfully, she wasn't forced to answer when someone interrupted.

“Jaemin, finally I found you!” It was a boy with dark-brown hair and facial features that reminded her of a puppy.

Now that she thought about it, she had seen him on a few of Jaemin's visits to the cafe. She didn't know that he attended this college too.

The guy came over to sit in the empty seat beside Jaemin. So much for having a quiet lunch. The boy looked at her with a sense of familiarity.

"Oh! You're the girl from the coffee shop, right?"

Suddenly forgetting how to speak, she merely nodded. The friendliness in his eyes didn't disappear. "I'm Lee Jeno, an architecture major. I'm also Jaemin’s friend."

"What are you doing here?" Jaemin asked.

"I just got out of a class and wanted to find you. But it seems you're busy."

The light-haired boy turned back to her with an adoring smile. "Well, I’m having lunch with (Y/n). Jeno, isn't it funny that we got the same meal? We already have so much in common!"

Jeno smiled apologetically, patting his friend on the shoulder. "Ah, Jaeminie is a bit weird. Please understand, (Y/n)."

A smile crept onto her lips when his own friend said this. She wondered if Jaemin was going to retort with something back, but his attention was on her.

"Oh, she smiled!"

Instinctively, she clamped her hand over her mouth. "N-no, I didn't."

"Ah, cute. Isn't she cute, Jeno?"

His comments didn't do anything to help the heat that had risen to her cheeks. Jeno shook his head at Jaemin and pushed his chair back.

"Well, I should go to my next class. I'll see you at home later."

He waved to her after getting up from the chair. "It was nice meeting you, (Y/n)!"

She waved back, as it was the polite thing to do. Her panic mode was restored now that his friend was gone. Jaemin looked at her with a concerned expression.

"Are you feeling alright? You've barely touched your food."

She glanced down at her lunch tray. The steaming bowl of noodles was staring up at her. Eating had disappeared from her brain momentarily after Jaemin arrived.

"I'm fine. Just not as hungry as I thought I was," she muttered, placing her utensils down on the table.

That didn't seem to convince Jaemin, but he didn't say anything about it. He folded his arms and leaned forward. "Right, what were we talking about before?"

Dang it. She was hoping he had forgotten their previous conversation, though the chances were unlikely.

"I understand why you might be skeptical about me," his voice deepened. She wondered if he always did that when he wanted to be serious. "But I'm going to do what it takes to prove you otherwise, (Y/n). Just watch!"

No one had approached her the way Jaemin was. It didn't make her any less suspicious of him. Whatever he was going to do or planning to do, she couldn't let him get to her. Over the past two years, she had become more strong-minded. She wasn't going to let anyone easily in again. Following that, Jaemin could try to get through to her. But he would fail.

Because she wasn't going to let it happen.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

Jeno and he had been gaming late into the evening. Close to eight, Jaemin decided to take a stroll to the cafe where (Y/n) worked, thinking of grabbing some coffee. The quiet streets under the night sky provided a calm atmosphere.

Upon arriving at the cafe, he spotted her through the window, wearing her cafe uniform. A small smile formed on his lips, but it quickly faded as he heard a commotion inside. The sound of an escalating argument caught his attention.

Inside, a man stood at the counter where (Y/n) was working. There was a tense exchange, and the man seemed insistent on something. Jeno's protective instincts kicked in as he noticed (Y/n) trying to reject his advances.

"I told you, I'm not interested," she said firmly, attempting to maintain her composure.

"Come on, why not give me a chance?" the man persisted, a hint of aggression in his tone.

She bit her lip in frustration, but tried to maintain her professionalism. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm not looking for anything right now."

The man's demeanor turned hostile, and he reached out to grab her hand. Jaemin, sensing trouble, swiftly stepped in.

"She said she's not interested. Respect that," he stated firmly, casting a disapproving glance at the persistent man.

Startled, the man recoiled, shooting a defiant look at Jaemin. Ignoring the confrontation, Jaemin focused on (Y/n), offering her a reassuring smile. Bewilderment clouded her expression.

"Yah, who do you think you are to involve yourself?" The man scoffed.

"I don’t want any trouble," he said in a low tone. "But you should back off, if she said no already."

The guy scowled, and before he could react properly, he punched him. "I swear, kids these days think they're all that."

Lifting his hand to where he hit him, he was grabbed by the collar of his hoodie. As much as he loathed the guy, he didn't want to fight back because he was older. Thankfully, (Y/n) had come in between them before he could hit him again.

"Stop or I'll call the police!" She warned, holding up a phone in her hand. "You'll be charged for harassment and assault."

In response, he snarled but let go of him. At least he wasn't an idiot to see she was serious.

He pointed at her and him as he made his way to leave. "Consider both of you lucky today."

They both watched as he left grumbling. He was expecting to hear a sigh of relief. But instead, she didn't appear to look any less frightened.

"Oh no, you're bleeding." Her eyes widened with apprehension. She reached her hand but dropped it after a brief hesitation. She headed back behind the cash register.

"Wait outside. Let me find the first-aid kit."

Jaemin couldn’t suppress the smile that crept on his face. But he thought it was best to listen this time.

The anxiousness in her eyes didn't disappear as she sat in the chair across from him. She still somehow managed to keep her hand steady as she tended to where he was injured. Other than his mother, no girl had ever looked so concerned for him. He tried to maintain some seriousness, rather than thinking about how cute (Y/n) was.

Once she cleaned the blood off, she raised a cotton swab dipped in ointment to his lips. He hesitated, not because he didn't trust her. He guessed he was a little nervous for some reason. But before she could take her hand away, he leaned forward. She winced with him as she dabbed the medicine on his bottom lip.

"I'm sorry,” she apologized.

"It doesn't hurt that much," he said.

But she shook her head. "Not just that. You got hurt because of me."

"Anyone would've done the same if they were in my place."

"I'm not so sure about that," she disagreed, putting the cotton swab down. "But, thank you."

This was a different side of (Y/n) that he was seeing. But it wasn't anything that he hadn't expected. Even though she pretended not to, she secretly cared.

"Does this mean you’ll go on a date with me now?" he half-joked, pointing to his busted lip. "To pay me back for this?"

“What—No!” He had to admit, seeing the change in her expression was quite amusing.

She pointed toward the free coffee she made him. “Is this not enough?”

He sighed and tilted his head slightly. “Can we be friends at least?”

She didn't say anything but looked like she wasn't going to fight him on this.

“I'll take your silence as a yes.” His phone then buzzed in his pocket.

Oh, shi— he forgot about Jeno. "Ugh, I have to go back home." He stood up, grabbing the cup of coffee she made him.

But he didn't forget to wave at his friend. "See you tomorrow, (Y/n)!"

Smiling to himself, he pretended not to see the startled expression when he called her informally. She then smiled and shook her head again.

One point scored for Na Jaemin!

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

That evening back in her dorm, (Y/n)’s head dropped to the desk in frustration. She couldn’t stop thinking about what happened the other night.

She didn’t want Jaemin to see her as easy now. Then again, he did save her from that customer. She wanted to say he shouldn’t have stepped in. But truthfully, she didn’t know how worse the situation would have gotten if he didn’t come in when he did. She had been so afraid of the situation that her whole body was shaking when she threatened to call the police. But she wished she had acted faster before he got hit.

She hadn’t realized how serious Jaemin was about them now being “friends” until the next time she saw him. He’d wave to her when he saw her come into class and continued to eat lunch with her if she was in the cafeteria. He didn’t stop coming to the coffee shop, and started doing his homework there.

In the beginning, she was quite reluctant. Her social awkwardness had gotten worse, and she wasn’t sure how long he would last being around someone like her. What she didn’t expect was Jaemin not being great at keeping conversations either. While he did start most of them, it seemed that sometimes he’d lose his thoughts and pause. That was when the silence filled in the gap he left.

But he kept persisting, and she had a feeling Jaemin wouldn’t get off her case anytime soon. Her heart was screaming at her, because it was clear that he was putting more effort into their “friendship” than she was. On the other hand, she barely said anything.

Due to her guilty conscience, she eventually stopped using one-word answers when he asked her something. On occasion, she would ask a question back. Slowly, she started to relax when she was around him. But those casual conversations were all Jaemin would get from her. There was an invisible line she had drawn between them, that she had to make sure he wouldn’t cross.

She started to like the days when he came to the café the most. He’d come in and instantly look for her behind the counter. She didn’t understand how someone could consistently be enthusiastic when they came to the same place nearly every day.

He ordered the same thing every time. So much so that it was practically ingrained in her memory. It was always a venti iced-americano, with no water but only ice. In addition, she’d add four extra shots of espresso. She refrained from questioning his order. But she wasn’t sure how anyone could drink so much coffee. However, that did explain how he had so much energy all the time.

Jaemin would come in the morning to purchase his daily drink. Strangely enough, he’d sometimes come back in the evenings when things were slow. He said it was because he thought she might be lonely. Oftentimes, he’d wait for her shift to be over and walk her home. She had resisted at first, but Jaemin had good persuasion skills.

On one of their walks, Jaemin casually asked a question that nearly made her freeze in place.

“Have you ever dated anyone?” His tone was casual. But she could tell he wasn’t trying to flirt with her.

“No,” she replied. In hopes of subtly changing the subject of this conversation, she turned the question to him. “Have you?”

He hesitated briefly before nodding, “Once, a few years ago.”

For some reason, she had expected him to have been in many relationships. With a face like his, she wouldn’t be surprised. She guessed she had judged him too harshly.

“Do you mind me asking what happened?”

She wasn’t sure what brought her to ask. She felt like a similar memory was replaying in the back of her head.

“I was in high school, and I had a crush on this girl in my class,” He started to explain. “It was easy at first. One day I confessed to her and we started dating.”

Jaemin made it all sound so easy. But when the frown on his face didn’t leave, she suspected things were more complicated. She didn’t say anything and let him continue.

“I remember trying really hard to make her happy. She always wanted me to buy her stuff and hung out with a lot of guys. Eventually, I started to feel like she was just using me. So I broke up with her.”

A short silence followed his last sentence. Even though she was afraid the conversation would go in the same direction it did with…

She still asked, “How do you feel now? Do you still think about her?”

“Honestly, I haven’t thought about her once until you asked.”

“Why?” Her eyebrows raised.

He chuckled, “Because I have no regrets. No one should feel insecure in a relationship. That’s why I chose to end things.”

She didn’t expect him to say that. A part of her didn’t want to believe him. But he didn’t appear to be lying. She wasn’t fazed when he told her all this. However, on that day, she felt slightly more daring. She thought it was only fair that she shared a little bit.

“There was a boy I had feelings for back in high school. He was my first love, I guess,” she said, the words escaping slowly. “I really liked him. But it…didn’t work out.”

She didn’t want to get into the details of her pathetic story. Even though two years passed, she could recall his exact words and how he delivered them. They still stung. Just thinking about it again nearly caused her to forget Jaemin was next to her.

“First loves are usually like that,” he expressed sympathy. “I’m sorry that happened.”

You forced a smile, swiftling pushing aside the resurfaced emotions. “It’s not a big deal. I…I’m sorry too—about your past girlfriend.”

“It happened so long ago, and I was just a dumb teenager,” Jaemin admitted, lowering his head.

A few seconds of silence passed between them. In an attempt to dispel the awkward atmosphere, she gently nudged him. “I guess we both have bad luck with love, huh?”

She wished his next works didn’t make her heart flutter.

“I have a feeling that our luck is changing. For both of us.”

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

It was difficult for Jaemin to suppress a small sense of satisfaction as she waved to him before entering her apartment building. Following today's events, it felt like (Y/n) had taken a step closer to him—some might argue it was barely a foot. But for Jaemin, that was more than enough.

Upon returning to his home, the lights were on in the empty living room, indicating that Jeno had left them on for him. After slipping off his shoes, Jaemin sought out his roommate in the bedroom, where he found him engrossed in playing a video game on his computer.

Besides Jeno, Jaemin didn't have many friends, but he knew Jeno was someone who would always have his back. It was Jeno who had suggested they move into an apartment before college, considering they haven’t been apart since middle school. Jaemin never worried about their friendship drifting apart. But his assurance grew when they discovered they got accepted into the same college.

“Hey, you’re back?” Jeno took off his headphones as Jaemin entered.

Nodding, Jaemin flopped onto his friend’s bed. A foolish grin spread across his face as he rested his head on the pillow.

“You seem happy,” Jeno remarked, throwing his head back. “Did you meet with (Y/n) again?”

Simply the mention of her name alone brightened Jaemin's mood. "Jeno, do you know what it feels like to be in love?"

"In love? I thought you just liked her," Jeno leaned forward, raising his water bottle to his lips. Jaemin pressed his hand to his chest and sighed.

"I do. But there's this different level of liking when it comes to her. My heart can't stop beating!"

Jeno nearly choked on his water. "Don't tell me you've said all of that to her."

"Of course not," Jaemin said, defensively. "Do you think I'm that much of an idiot?"

"Just wanted to make sure," Jeno shrugged.

Feeling energized, Jaemin pulled out his phone to text her. However, he was pleasantly surprised to find an unread message from her. Kicking his feet up in the air, he beamed and showed Jeno what she sent.

"You see this, Jeno? She finally texted me first!"

"I guess that's some improvement." Jeno's reaction was lackluster, but Jaemin pretended to ignore it.

Placing a hand on his chest, Jaemin sighed, "Oh (Y/n), why are you doing this to me?"

Jeno shook his head and turned his chair back around to the computer. "Yeah. You're in love with her, that's for sure."

════════

Coming out of his photography class the next day, Jaemin spotted (Y/n) near one of the windows in the hall. Realizing she was on the phone, he decided to wait until she was done.

"I know. You don't need to worry, Halmeoni," she spoke lightly. "I'll pick up her medication after class."

That was the end of the conversation he overheard before she dropped her hand holding the phone, squeezing it tightly. While he knew her personal matters were none of his business, he couldn't help but worry about her. From the brief glimpse he had, she seemed unhappy.

After waiting for about five minutes, he approached her. "(Y/n), I almost didn't see you there!"

She turned to him, the frustration replaced by a small smile. Whether she was genuinely pleased to see him or merely pretending to be fine was uncertain.

"Oh, hi Jaemin. Did you just come out of class?" she asked.

He nodded. "What about you?"

She glanced back at her phone to check the time. "My morning class is over, but I have one more in an hour."

"Ah, I see. Do you want to get lunch with me then?" he proposed, gesturing towards the cafeteria.

"It's okay. I'm not that hungry," she mumbled, absently adjusting the strap on her bag.

Crossing his arms, he leaned down to meet her at eye level. "You're lying. I know you don't eat breakfast, so you have to be hungry!"

"Jaemin—" she blushed and couldn't finish her sentence.

"It'll be my treat since you helped me with my photography assignment last week," he added before she could fully deny him.

This time, he didn't wait for her answer and took her hand to lead them out of the hallway. "Jaemin, people are going to see us and start assuming things!" she stammered.

Rolling his eyes, he continued to walk with her. "If you're worried, we can go out then."

She didn't make any more attempts to stop him. When he looked at her, his heart softened. He wanted to ask if she was okay, but for now, he focused on taking care of her physical health. From the few months they'd known each other, he quickly learned that (Y/n) was someone who neglected herself. Though he might have lectured her once when she said she didn't want to be a burden, he could tell she appreciated his efforts and stopped fighting back.

Jaemin’s goal shifted. He realized that making Kim (Y/n) happy was more of a priority than pursuing her.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

Her phone was flung recklessly onto the bed at the peak of her outrage. The barrage of text messages from her mom made her feel as though someone was drilling a screw in her head. With shaking fists, she glanced over to her desk, where the top drawer held a razor blade in one of the journals. The urge was tempting, yet she resisted, not wanting to give herself another reason to hate on this particular day.

Exhaling, she sat at the edge of the bed, letting her hands grip the frame. Thoughts of whether moving back to Seoul had been a mistake haunted her. But Busan hadn't been any better for her either. Why did she keep contradicting herself like this?

After a few minutes of drowning in her bothersome thoughts, her phone buzzed again. She groaned and reached to grab the device, sitting up straighter when she recognized the caller ID wasn’t her mother.

“Hello?” she answered the phone. Strangely, hearing his voice allowed some of her torment to disappear.

“Did you get home safely?”

She nodded, momentarily forgetting that they were on a voice call. “I did. You?”

“Yeah, Jeno and I went back together.”

“Oh, I see. Is that all you called me for?”

“Why? Am I not allowed to make sure my friend is safe and sound at her dorm?”

“If that’s all, I’m going to hang up now. I have to finish my homework,” she laughed.

Jaeemin sighed, “Alright. Make sure to get some rest before it’s too late.”

“I will. Thank you.”

“Dream of me when you sleep!” He sang.

She blushed and quickly tapped the “end call” button. With a bit of effort, she forced herself to go to her desk and open her laptop. She wasn't lying earlier, there was a research project she had to work on.

How could he say those things so casually? It was almost as if they were dating—No, she had to stop thinking like that. She had come to learn that Jaemin just had a flirty personality. But it was hard for her to fathom how someone could be like that so effortlessly. Certainly, she didn’t possess the boldness or courage he did.

Other than that, she was surprised to discover how much Jaemin and she had in common. She thought the only reason he acted energetically when they were out was because of all the coffee he drank. But, other than that, he was a pretty mellow guy.

Regardless, Jaemin was charismatic and kind to everyone. Yet, she felt like he put up his lively facade for the public. When it was just the two of them, Jaemin was a lot calmer. Sometimes they'd walk to one of their homes in silence, the only sound being music played from their earbuds.

Unintentionally, Na Jaemin had become the person to distract her from reality. It felt like Renjun all over again. That was why she had to consistently remind herself not to get too close to the boy. She couldn’t let things get that far.

════════

On a Sunday after work, she returned to the apartment. Whenever she was at home, her mom mostly stayed in her bedroom, often on her computer or in bed. Before she moved back to the city, her mom ate a lot of delivery food. She tried cooking meals for her, but they always remained untouched in the refrigerator.

Regardless, she tried not to give up. After putting away her things, she walked down the hall and cautiously opened the door to her mom’s room. None of the lights were on.

“Eomma, I brought you some seolleongtang from the restaurant you like,” (Y/n) said hesitantly. Most of the blankets covered her body, but she could make out her messy black hair.

When she didn’t respond, she sighed and took a step closer to the door. She didn’t intend to stay long anyway. “I left the soup on your kitchen counter for you. You should eat before it gets cold.”

“Stop pretending to care,” her mom mumbled into her pillow. “You don’t love me.”

That sentence tugged at her heart. Would she be doing all this if she didn’t love her?

Her fingernails started to dig into the skin of her palms. “Eomma, you know that’s not true.”

“You can’t even say it!” her mom cried out. “You’ve always been so cold to me. You must want your mother to die.”

Clenching her fists, she retorted without thinking. “Of course I still love you!”

Instantly, her eyes enlarged at the sudden volume increase in her voice. She almost never raised her voice at anyone, especially her parents. But her mom had pushed too many buttons that day. She took a step back before she could make anything worse.

“I never stopped,” she glowered at her mom, who refused to look at her.

In the next second, she turned to leave again. Her feet didn’t stop because she knew her mom wouldn’t go after her. It had started to rain by the time she got outside. Yet she still walked around getting drenched like a crazy person. The tears streaming down her face mixed with the rain drops.

A heavy sigh escaped her. At least the clouds didn’t have to hide their misery.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

By the time Jaemin arrived at the classroom, the lecture was just about to start. Slightly disappointed, he made his way to sit in the row of desks behind (Y/n). His lips formed a pout because now he had to wait until after class to talk to her.

He never paid much attention to what the teacher was saying when (Y/n) was there. Occasionally, he’d get scolded by her for doing so. Yet she’d still offer to share her notes with him. When she did this the first time, Jaemin realized (Y/n) only acted cold so people wouldn’t approach her. She might be able to fool everyone else, but Jaemin knew she was a warm-hearted person.

During these times, (Y/n) usually pretended not to notice his eyes that naturally drifted her way throughout the class. But something seemed different about her today. The left hand she used to write was most often seen quickly scribbling down key points from the lesson. Her wrist was barely moving, and her head was kept down.

Once class ended, Jaemin tapped the girl on her shoulder. Jolting up, she turned around to face him.

“Oh, is class over already?”

He stared at her with wide eyes. “Uh, you look really pale.”

“What?” she asked, a little nasally.

His level of worry quickly increased when he reached over to feel her forehead. “You have a fever too. Why did you come if you’re sick?”

She weakly pushed his hand away and slurred her words, saying something about not wanting to miss class.

He exhaled and grabbed her hand. “Okay. We need to get you out of here.”

Surprisingly, she didn’t put up much of an argument. I guess she didn’t have any energy to do so. She could barely keep her head up when they got on the bus. Wanting her to be more comfortable, Jaemin guided her head to rest on his shoulder.

Honestly, he had never seen (Y/n) so out of it. He wondered what she did to get so sick like this. Glancing back down at her sleeping figure, he felt a bunch of different emotions.

“What are you doing to me, Kim (Y/n)?” he whispered, knowing she couldn’t hear him.

════════

Slowly, (Y/n) turned her head and let her eyelids flutter open on their own. Her reaction was late, but she was slightly alarmed when she found herself in an unfamiliar place. Her hands pressed down into a dark blue bedspread.

She glanced around, finding herself in a room with a large desk near the door that had a white computer. Where was she?

She blinked a few times, trying to recall what happened and how she got here. Just as she vaguely remembered Jaemin taking her out of class, the door creaked open. She sat up and instantly regretted it. The headache she had from this morning was still present.

“Oh, hi (Y/n).” Jeno came into the room. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Jeno? Why am I…”

The boy allowed himself to fully come into the room. “Jaemin brought you here after your class. You were out for about an hour.”

“Oh gosh. I didn’t mean to intrude like this.” This is what she got for walking home in the rain. Where was her sense?

Jeno waved his hand, brushing off her words. “Not at all. Jaemin was worried when he noticed you had a fever.”

“He was? Where is he?”

“He’s been in the kitchen. Should be coming back soon though.”

Just as he said that, her eyes darted to the door that reopened.

“Oh, you’re awake!” The boy with light brown hair exclaimed.

He was carrying a small wooden tray in his hands. With a tight-lipped smile, Jeno put a hand on his shoulder before passing him. Jaemin didn’t say anything, only giving an odd look to his friend who left the room.

However, the slightly confused expression instantly changed to a brighter one when he turned to her. Carefully, he walked over with the tray and sat beside her feet.

“Samgyetang,” He said, picking up the spoon next to the steaming blue bowl. “Eating will make you feel better.”

“Did you make it?” She asked, leaning forward to see the bowl.

He nodded and filled the spoon with some of the broth. “I’m going to feed you because I know you won’t eat it yourself.”

How did he know she’d do that? Either way, she didn’t have any energy to protest. Hesitantly, she accepted the spoonful of food. She was surprised, to say the least.

“I didn’t know you could cook.”

“Is it good?” He asked.

She nodded in response. Jaemin lowered his head as he dipped the spoon in the bowl again. “My mom taught me.”

“Oh,” She said, “I can feed myself, Jaemin.”

After some hesitation, he relented and handed her the spoon. “I’m going to stay and make sure you finish at least half of that soup.”

“Yes, mom,” She conceded. Jaemin chuckled as she bit into a piece of chicken.

“Thank you for going out of your way to—do all this,” She said later. He put the bowl and tray aside on his desk.

“How is your headache?”

“Not as bad. Are you going to scold me again?”

“No. But do you mind me asking how you got sick?” A familiar sense of fear came her way.

“I just got caught in the rain walking home the other day.”

Okay, she wasn’t completely lying. But she wasn’t telling the full truth either. Thankfully, Jaemin seemed to believe her.

“I see. You should get some more rest,” he said.

She gave him a quizzical look. “You’re not going to let me leave, are you?”

“That’s right!”

“But this is your bed,” She frowned.

The boy shrugged, “I can just crash in Jeno’s room.”

He motioned for her to lay back down. Reluctantly, she listened to him. Not that she’d admit out loud that she wanted to. The pain eased slightly when her head hit the pillow.

“Better?”

“Better.”

He didn’t say anything more after that. They sort of just remained in their positions silently. She pretended to not notice Jaemin staring at her. Or how his fingertips were tracing lightly over her bangs that were damp with sweat.

She tried to ignore the fluttery emotions that swirled around her heart. In the past when she got sick, she just dealt with it alone. She didn’t want to be more of a burden to the people around her.

This was certainly different from the time when Renjun got sick and couldn’t come to school. Back then, the roles were reversed, and she was doing the things Jaemin had done for her.

Her head was hurting, but she still had most of her sanity. Unlike the last time, she would make sure her memories didn’t repeat. She should’ve been more ashamed that she let this happen in the first place.

But with Jaemin, it felt nice, him taking care of her. Yet another side of him that she hadn’t expected.

Her perspective on Jaemin kept shifting. And she wasn’t sure what she thought about it.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

As summer came to an end, fall gradually took its place. Which meant that the college autumn festival was approaching. Numerous clubs and activities had been diligently preparing for the event over the past few weeks. While most of Jaemin's classmates expected him to attend, he felt a bit reluctant due to the unnecessary attention and the prospect of encountering girls eager to approach him.

Yet, the idea of going to the festival became much more appealing if (Y/n) was also planning to attend. Day by day, Jaemin found himself falling a bit more for her. A few months back, he had taken care of her when she had a headache, a simple act of kindness that he would have extended to any friend.

A couple of days later, when he went to get his daily coffee, (Y/n) surprised him with free macarons, expressing her gratitude for his care. It was a small but meaningful gesture, signaling that (Y/n) was gradually warming up to him.

On the day of the festival, Jaemin decided to meet (Y/n) after their last classes and suggested going together. Spotting her waiting near the main entrance, he waved, and she smiled shyly in response. Energized by the sight of her, he skipped over.

“(Y/n)—” he began before being interrupted by a girl approaching them. Glancing at the newcomer, Jaemin recognized her as a classmate from his photography class.

“Jaemin? I’m in your photography class.”

“Ah, hello,” he politely bowed his head. “Is there something you need?”

The girl beamed at him, twirling a lock of her hair. “I just wanted to see if you’re going to the college festival tonight. Would you like to go with me?”

“I’m sorry I—” Jaemin started to decline, but his eyes shifted to (Y/n) standing awkwardly beside him.

He then put an arm around her shoulder. “I’m going with her,” he clarified, pretending to not notice how (Y/n)’s eyes widened in surprise.

The girl's expression faltered, embarrassed by the rejection, but she managed to put on a smile. “Oh…I see. Well, please come find me if you want better company!”

As the girl left, Jaemin kicked the ground in frustration. “Did she not see that you were right next to me?” he quipped, tilting his head to the left.

(Y/n) looked puzzled. “Why did you turn her down? She was pretty.”

“You’re prettier,” Jaemin replied without hesitation. He smirked when he saw her cheeks turn pink.

Tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he suggested, “Let’s go to the festival.”

(Y/n) hesitated before sighing. “I guess we have to now, since you told that girl we were.”

“Yeah. But I was going to ask you anyway,” he shrugged. “Come on, let’s go.”

She opened her mouth to say something and closed it. Jaemin chuckled at her silent agreement. They conversed on the way to the festival, and upon arrival, marveled at the transformed campus with lanterns, various booths, music, and enticing smells of food and alcohol.

“What do you want to do first?” Jaemin nudged (Y/n).

They spent most of their time walking around, pointing out interesting things, and occasionally participating in mini-games. Seated at a table under one of the food tents, they ate some tteokbokki. Despite disliking alcohol, they decided to share a bottle.

Later in the night, they found a spot on the grass to watch a fireworks show. Jaemin asked (Y/n) if she had done something like this before.

She lightly brushed her hand over the green blades. “There was one time when my parents took me to see fireworks on New Year's Eve. I must’ve been eight or nine.”

The dark sky allowed Jaemin to see a smile on her lips, yet a hint of sadness lingered in her eyes. Before he could inquire further, the show began, capturing their attention. The bursts of bright colors were mesmerizing up close.

Expressing a bit of regret, Jaemin remarked, “I wish I had brought my camera.”

(Y/n) looked over at him and smiled. Anticipating his wish, she unzipped her bag, revealing a small, light blue polaroid camera.

“I figured you were going to ask me to come here with you,” she explained, handing him the camera.

Grinning, Jaemin said, “Yeokshi, Kim (Y/n).”

Pointing out the best fireworks, (Y/n) and Jaemin managed to capture a few with the camera. Towards the end, Jaemin suggested taking some pictures together, and to his surprise, (Y/n) agreed to one photo. Excitedly, he flipped the camera around to snap a photo of them.

“Smile!”

Posing together, they managed to fit in the small frame, but Jaemin couldn't help but notice how close they had gotten. Subconsciously, his eyes flickered to her lips, and feeling daring, he leaned a bit more forward to see her reaction.

She was blushing profusely now. His eyes searched hers, silently contemplating if he should just make a move. He pondered on what to say, or if words were even necessary at the moment. Jaemin’s heart was thumping rapidly against his chest. He couldn’t help but wonder if (Y/n)’s was the same.

Being in such close proximity allowed her to appreciate his handsome features. The mixture of his breath with hers stirred butterflies in her stomach, spiraling in circles. Suddenly, they dispersed, and the nonsensical thoughts in her mind ceased immediately.

Fully aware of the situation, she pulled back, her face and entire body ablaze. "It’s late. I should go," she lied, too embarrassed to meet his gaze.

Avoiding eye contact, she hastily rose to her feet and speed-walked out of the festival, pretending not to hear him call after her. (Y/n) cursed to herself, "What have I gotten myself into?"

════════

(Y/n) could barely concentrate in math class the next morning. The lack of sleep didn’t help. The events of the previous night replayed incessantly in her mind, driving her to the brink of insanity. Na Jaemin had come close to kissing her, and she almost wished he had. The setting had been perfect with fireworks, a romantic atmosphere, and their proximity. Yet, she had ruined the moment out of fear.

Last night confirmed that she developed feelings for him. The last thing she wanted. She knew from the beginning that being friends with Jaemin was dangerous. Yet, she still allowed herself to be drawn in.

Only when the others started leaving the classroom did she realize that the class was over. As she packed her things, a girl approached her – the one with long black hair, flawless makeup, and impeccable clothes from Jaemin’s photography class. She was the one who had asked him out and got turned down.

“You’re the girl who was with Na Jaemin yesterday, right?” she asked.

Taking a moment, (Y/n) replied, "Maybe."

Despite the smile she held, (Y/n) could tell the girl didn’t like her. Her lips twitched in slight annoyance as she continued the conversation.

"We’re not together, if that’s what you wanted to ask next," (Y/n) asserted, swinging her bag over her shoulder, ready to leave.

The girl's expression changed, and she casually remarked, "Ah, that’s good to know. I was beginning to question Na Jaemin’s taste in girls."

"Excuse me?" (Y/n) stopped and turned back towards her.

The girl spoke nonchalantly, "No matter how I look at it, I don’t think Jaemin would date someone like you. He’s smart, funny, and handsome. He comes from a nice family too. The girl he dates should live up to certain standards, right?"

(Y/n)’s hand tightened around the strap of her bag, and the girl took a step closer, scanning her from head to toe.

"You know, someone who is pretty, rich, and confident. I’d say it would be a loss for him to date a girl anything other than that."

Forced to smile, (Y/n) made a poor attempt to conceal the impact of those words. Mumbling, she said, "I know," and walked away, steering clear of a larger confrontation.

A mix of humiliation and annoyance consumed her. The girl's intentions were clear – to play with her head. Yet, she couldn't deny that the words had struck a nerve. Everything she lacked seemed to be a reason why Jaemin and she couldn't happen. Her feelings were rendered insignificant, knowing he was seemingly out of her league.

Her thoughts then veered back to Renjun. Despite the time that had passed, a part of her wasn’t entirely over him. The lessons from high school echoed in her mind – never allowing herself to get close to anyone again.

In the end, the problem always seemed to be her.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

Seated in the back row of the classroom, he slumped in his chair, grappling with the silence from (Y/n) since the other night. The texts he had sent her remained unread, flooding his mind with various thoughts.

Questions plagued him – was she angry? Did she resent him? Had he acted too hastily?

Admitting to himself that he might have been too impulsive, he chastised his own foolishness. Despite that realization, he couldn't help it at that moment; his feelings for her were overpowering. The looming possibility that she never wanted to see him again felt unbearable.

Though Jeno didn't voice his concerns, it was evident that he was worried about him. Over the past few days, anxiety had taken a toll on him, leading to skipped meals and isolation. He found himself criticizing (Y/n) for her eating habits, realizing the hypocritical nature of his actions. In some ways, she reminded him of himself – a music lover who didn't express it openly, an introvert with an outgoing facade, and someone who concealed insecurities adeptly.

Those similarities weren’t the only reason he liked her though. His affection for (Y/n) stemmed from her qualities as a listener. She patiently listened to his rants about proper skin care with attentive nods. She willingly assisted him with homework, displaying patience even when explanations needed repetition.

In a conversation with Jeno some time ago, he elaborated on the reasons for his deep admiration for (Y/n).

"You've really fallen for her, haven't you?" Jeno sighed in response to his lovesick monologue.

"And the way her eyes light up when she's excited," he continued, sounding like an enamored puppy. "Her laugh is just the cutest!"

Despite the selfish part of him, Jaemin knew he couldn’t impose his feelings on (Y/n). From how things were right now, the chances of her reciprocating his feelings was unlikely.

To be honest, Jaemin wasn’t sure if he was ready to accept that outcome.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

Having successfully avoided Jaemin for the past few days, (Y/n) found herself unable to escape this time. Her mind remained in disarray, and while uncertain about what to think, she knew facing him was inevitable.

"(Y/n), can we please talk?" Jaemin's voice reached her ears, prompting her to grimace before slowly turning around.

"What’s there to talk about?" she mumbled, reluctantly meeting his gaze.

Jaemin's eyes searched hers, seeking something. "Are we just going to act like nothing happened or—"

"It was a mistake," she cut him off, witnessing a hurt expression etch onto Jaemin's face.

"(Y/n)—" Jaemin began again, but she raised her hand to stop him.

"I know what you're going to say. But we can’t be together." She spoke in her sternest voice. "So please, forget what happened."

She concealed the trembling within her, although he took a step closer. Their sneakers nearly touched, and, for once, Jaemin wasn’t wearing the carefree smile she had grown accustomed to. Had she finally pushed him away for good?

Perhaps it was for the best. Jaemin didn't deserve to be with her who was a complete mess. She dared to look at him once more, observing the hurt in his eyes. She was the one who was causing him pain. She wondered if he would say he hated her and never wanted to see her again. But she should have known he wouldn't.

"(Y/n).” The calm tone he was using strangely made her feel worse. "Will you ever open your heart to me?"

His words carried significant weight, seeking some form of answer. However, she just stared at him, speechless.

He sighed and began to back away. "I’m sorry. But I don't think we can stay friends like this."

"Wait—Jaemin!" she called out as he disappeared from behind the bushes. "Na Jaemin!"

He was gone, and tears started to form in her eyes. A new feeling of guilt began to crawl up her throat. This pain was different from her first heartbreak, but it felt just as overwhelming.

Was this what it felt like to hurt someone?

════════

The cafe felt empty without him. A few customers made their daily orders, but it wasn't the same. Jaemin walking through the front door always brightened her day, giving her something to look forward to. Being at work now felt depressing and meaningless.

The hours passed, and there was still no Jaemin. (Y/n) tried to focus on her tasks and not dwell on what happened, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't.

By the time she finished wiping down all the tables, she was ready to officially close up the shop. Her plan was put on pause when she heard someone come in.

"I'm sorry, we're closed," she said plainly, turning around. Her eyes widened when she recognized the unexpected customer. "Jeno?"

The puppy-like boy smiled at her. "I was hoping you'd still be here."

He waited for her to finish closing up the shop, and they went to the park after. Walking along the sidewalk, following the stone circle path, (Y/n) knew Jeno wanted to talk to her about Jaemin. She thought he would be mad since they're best friends and all. If he held any resentment, he didn’t show it.

"I know it isn't really my place to say anything," Jeno finally broke the awkward silence between them. "But I've been worried about Jaemin, and you too."

Why would he be worried about her? She was the one who hurt his friend.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault," she apologized, and Jeno paused briefly before talking again.

"I don't know what happened between you two. But I think there's something you should know." They both stopped walking, and Jeno turned to face her properly.

"Jaemin sincerely cares about you, (Y/n). You can trust me when I say that he's never been so serious about someone."

His sentence was simple but struck her heart when she felt the weight of it. Jeno continued as the emotions started to kick in.

"I won’t tell you what to feel or to give him a chance. I believe all he wants is for you to be happy."

He glanced over at her, and his eyes quickly showed concern. She didn't even know she was crying until the first few tears dripped off her chin. Her lip quivered as more water spilled out of her eyes.

What Jeno said and everything else came crashing down on her like a huge ocean wave. She had forced herself to be blind to her true feelings. She liked Na Jaemin, so much more than a friend. But she had gotten so caught up in the fear of something like Renjun repeating that she didn't stop to think about his feelings. She was inconsiderate of him, who was always so sweet.

"What have I done?" she mumbled.

Jeno placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, (Y/n). Why don't you come back with me to talk to him?"

She wasn't sure if she had the right to see Jaemin after all this. It was already embarrassing enough to be crying in front of Jeno. But if she learned anything from this, she had to pull herself together and push aside her fears. For Jaemin.

After a few sniffles, she smiled weakly at Jeno. "I think I'd like that."

She knew what she had to do now.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

Regret quickly consumed Jaemin after he left that day. His intention was to make things better with (Y/n), and confront things. But for some reason, he just couldn’t stomach her rejection. Now she might not ever talk to him again.

Sitting in the living room, contemplating all that had gone wrong, Jaemin's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of button presses from the passcode on their lock. Jeno was out later than expected. Jaemin exhaled and leaned back on the couch, awaiting his friend's arrival.

What he didn’t expect was to see (Y/n) come in after Jeno.She appeared extremely nervous, and the rims of her eyes were slightly red. Had she been crying? Jaemin questioned why Jeno brought her here, giving his friend a questionable look.

Jeno simply smiled before heading to their room. “I’ll leave you guys alone.”

(Y/n) and Jaemin exchanged awkward glances. She tightened the grip on the strap of her bag.

“Jaemin, can we talk?” she asked, speaking quietly, almost as if afraid he'd get mad at her. Jaemin stood up from the couch, smiling slightly, and suggested they go out to the balcony.

The weather was pleasant that day, with the dark evening sky and light autumn breeze. Both unsure of how to start, (Y/n) and Jaemin admired the city view for a bit. Not wanting her to feel pressured, Jaemin decided to speak first.

“(Y/n), I’m sorry,” he sighed. “The other day, I shouldn't have been so cold to you.”

Quick to shake her head, (Y/n) said, "No, I should be the one apologizing."

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows, nodding to let her explain. "I never told you the full story about the last guy I liked," she began, resting her folded hands atop the steel railing. "At the time, I was in a… really dark place. And he was the first person who saw the real me."

"When I was around him, I didn't have to pretend I was okay all the time. He was the closest friend I ever had." Her eyes sparkled as she smiled sadly, a smile that quickly faded.

"But things changed after his girlfriend moved and transferred to our school. I overheard their conversation where he said that I never meant anything to him."

Listening quietly, Jaemin noted the fragility in her voice, as if she could break any second. Yet she didn't.

"After that day, I swore to myself that I’d never be vulnerable to a boy ever again. But I realized that was incredibly unfair to you,” she continued.

"You've shown me nothing but kindness and patience," she murmured. "When all I've done is push you away."

"(Y/n)—"

She let out a deep breath as she finally met his eyes. "The idea of opening my heart to someone terrifies me. But, I think I'm willing to try if it's you."

Her teeth sank into her bottom lip, waiting nervously for a response. Jaemin's outward reaction was slow, but not on the inside. Her words were like a key that unlocked everything he had kept in his heart.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that,” he said, gently taking her hands in his. “I promise that you’re safe with me, (Y/n).”

She smiled, “I trust you, Jaemin.”

The two have never been in this close proximity before. His breath on hers made her heart race. The two locked eyes for a moment, as Jaemin slowly leaned in. But right before their lips could meet, he paused. She regarded him with a hint of confusion, wondering why he was hesitating.

"Can I kiss you?" he then asked, knowing he didn't really have to but wanting her to be sure.

His question sparked a wave of heat instantly rushed to her cheeks. However, the corner of her lips curled into a small smile as she rose on the tip of her toes, closing the remaining distance between them. Jaemin was caught slightly off guard by her sudden actions. But the sensation of her soft lips against his was enough to make him melt. He knew right away that her touch was something he wanted more of.

Feeling as if his heart could burst at any moment, Jaemin brought his hands up to tenderly cup her face. Their kiss was slow at first, allowing them to take their time and savor the moment. His lips moved in sync with hers, and her fingers gripped the hem of his hoodie as he kissed her harder. Towards the end, he was sure she could feel him smiling into the kiss.

Eventually, they broke away, breathless, lips redder and moist from the sweet kiss they had just shared. Jaemin kept one hand on her cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb.

"(Y/n)," he said her name like a vow. "I’ve been wanting to do that for so long."

She smiled shyly before admitting, “Me too. I should’ve just let you kiss me at the festival.”

Jaemin's heart practically exploded for the umpteenth time when she fully wrapped her arms around his torso. The left side of her face rested on his chest, as she wasn't tall enough to reach his shoulder.

Of course, he gladly accepted the embrace, gently squeezing her. He didn't want to ever let go. She giggled when he pressed a kiss into her hair.

"I'm so in love with you, Kim (Y/n)."

There weren’t enough words to describe how amazing it felt to confess that out loud.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

Subconsciously, (Y/n)'s fingertips would brush over her lips after the previous night. The prior events were still fresh in her mind—her apology and confession, him kissing her. She contemplated whether everything had been a dream she hadn't woken up from.

However, (Y/n) was reassured when Jaemin greeted her with a hug the next morning. She was slightly wary of other people seeing them, but she brushed it off. Besides, she had recently learned that Jaemin gave the warmest hugs.

"Should we hold hands?" she laughed shyly when he asked. He seemed to be giddier about the change in their relationship than she was.

(Y/n) nodded to him and bravely intertwined her right hand with his left one. In return, a gloating Jaemin pressed a quick kiss against her knuckles before suggesting they head to class.

"This is day two of Na Jaemin and Kim (Y/n) as a couple," he lightly swung their arms as they walked on the school campus.

"You're already counting?" she smiled in slight amusement.

Jaemin nodded proudly. "I already marked when our 100th day will be."

"Really? I did too," she said bashfully.

Not many people knew this, but (Y/n) was secretly a romantic at heart. She used to fantasize over fun date ideas and anniversaries. So when Jaemin and she confirmed their feelings for each other, she marked their 100th day on her calendar when she got back to the dorm. She was afraid she was getting ahead of herself, so she didn't intend to tell him. But it was nice to know that Jaemin also thought about those things.

"See? I knew we were a perfect match," he tilted his head back.

The closer they got to the classroom, the more nervous (Y/n) began to feel. What would everyone say when they saw Jaemin and her come in together, holding hands?

"What's wrong?"

"You're not worried about other people seeing us?" she asked.

"They probably assumed we've been together for a while now," said Jaemin. "But either way, I don't care what they think."

Jaemin was certainly a lot braver than (Y/n) was. But she could feel his courage slowly starting to rub off on her. When he turned to look at her to hear her opinion, she gently squeezed his hand.

"Then I won't either,” she said confidently. He smiled and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before they entered the lecture hall.

Jaemin wasn’t surprised by the whispers and looks people gave them when he and (Y/n) entered the room holding hands. (Y/n) insisted that she wouldn’t care about the other people at college who talked behind their backs, but there was still a twinge of guilt in him.

She had gained all this unwanted attention before when they were just friends. Now that they were officially dating, it gave people on campus another excuse to gawk at them. They could spread all the rumors they wanted to, but this was their life, and (Y/n)’s too. Jaemin wasn’t going to let them ruin their happiness.

Thankfully, class didn’t go as slowly as Jaemin expected. Every so often, he glanced over to (Y/n) beside him, thinking about what she said the other day, about her past. He now understood why she was so cold to him in the beginning. But he was grateful that he had finally gotten her to open up.

(Y/n) tapped him on the shoulder. “Jaemin, class is over.”

“Really?” Lifting his head, Jaemin looked around to see people were indeed leaving.

“I guess you didn’t pay much attention to the professor, did you?” She sighed and crossed her arms.

“How can I, when I have you next to me?” He teased.

As expected, (Y/n) quickly lost her composure when he said that. She got flustered so easily.

“Are you always this direct in a relationship?” she blushed.

“Only for you,” Jaemin winked and held out his hand to her. “Come on, everyone has left already.”

They walked out into the hall, avoiding the occasional stares from passing students. Jaemin felt (Y/n) nudge him when they got outside.

“I don’t have work today,” she said. “Is there anything you want to do?”

Jaemin hummed, pretending to think for a second. Little did she know, he was hoping she didn’t have anything else to do today.

“We should go on a date,” he suggested.

(Y/n) stared at him as if she didn’t hear him properly. “Date? Where would we go?”

Jaemin simply smiled and told her she would just have to wait and see.

════════

They stepped inside, and the scent of candy greeted them.

“I came here with Jeno once to make cookies. I thought it would be fun to try decorating a cake,” Jaemin said.

“Cake decorating?” (Y/n)’s eyes scattered around the colorful place. Ha, he bet she thought he was going to take her to some cafe.

First off, Jaemin wanted to take her mind off things and destress a little. Considering she spent a lot of her time working with coffee and beverages, he didn’t want to take her somewhere that reminded her of that. It was their first date, and he wanted to make it special. (Y/n) being impressed by his creativity was an added bonus.

“What do you think?” he asked her, just to make sure.

She gave him a nod of approval. “It sounds fun. I just can’t guarantee our cake will turn out too pretty.”

“I’m sure we’ll do just fine,” Jaemin reassured her, gently patting her back. “Come on, let’s go find a table.”

A lady who worked at the store bought them a sponge cake covered in plain white cream. They listened carefully to her directions before they got up to get toppings to decorate their cake. There was an entire room filled with an assortment of candies, sprinkles, fruits, and icing.

“You and your love for sugar,” (Y/n) giggled when she saw Jaemin eyeing the chocolate section.

He smiled sheepishly. “You should choose things you like too.”

In the end, they settled on a few toppings that they both liked and went back to their table. Jaemin had no clue where to start. Luckily, (Y/n) seemed a lot better at cake decorating than she thought she would be. She guided his hand carefully to drizzle chocolate icing along the outer edges of the cake.

By the time they finished decorating, (Y/n) seemed pleased with how nice the cake turned out. Jaemin took a bunch of pictures with his phone, with the majority of them capturing her. He couldn’t help it when she looked so cute in his eyes.

After getting dinner, Jaemin and (Y/n) strolled hand in hand towards her dorm building. Jaemin purposely walked slower, dreading the idea of having to part from her. The gentle glow of the streetlights cast a warm ambiance around them, and the sounds of their laughter mixed with the rustle of leaves under their feet.

As they stopped in front of her dorm, he turned to her with a soft pout. “Do you really have to go?”

A soft chuckle escaped her lips at his newfound clinginess. “I have class in the morning, you know. We’ll see each other tomorrow.”

“I know…” Jaemin mumbled, playfully kicking the ground.

The smile on her lips grew, as she lightly squeezed his hand. “Thank you for today. I had a lot of fun.”

“I’m glad,” he said, a subtle giddiness dancing in his heart. He couldn’t help but think of all the other things he wanted to do with her now that they were together.

Their hands remained intertwined, as the two stood in silence for a few seconds. Jaemin’s gaze turned more tender, and he leaned into place a quick kiss to her lips. “See you tomorrow, (Y/n).”

Heading inside the building, (Y/n) couldn’t help but glance back at him. The lingering smile he wore and the warmth in her eyes made her heart beat faster than usual. She wondered if she’d ever grow accustomed to that feeling. One thing she was certain of, was that today marked the beginning of something beautiful.

If this was a dream, she never wanted to wake up from it.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

In the weeks that followed, (Y/n) slowly felt more secure in her blossoming relationship with Jaemin. Things hadn’t changed much from when they were friends. He still had lunch with her, dropped by her workplace, and walked her home. The notable change in these moments now included flirtatious banter and kisses. She learned early on that Jaemin didn’t hold back when it came to openly expressing his affection. She wasn’t used to having someone care so deeply the way he did.

One weekend, they decided to make dinner together at his apartment. Jaemin took her to the grocery store near his place so they could pick up ingredients. He guided her through the aisles, hand in hand, creating a sense of warmth within her.

“I make really good pork belly,” Jaemin mentioned, placing a pack of the frozen meat in the cart. “You’re going to love it.”

(Y/n) smiled, “We should get some kimchi to go with it.”

As they headed toward the kimchi section, the smile on her lips faded when she spotted a familiar figure. She internally cursed as their eyes met. Jaemin observed her complexion growing paler as the person approached them.

“Eomma,” the word slipped past her lips without her realizing.

“Well if it isn’t my lovely daughter,” the woman chimed. “You haven’t been answering any of my texts, I was getting worried.”

Unconsciously, her grip on his hand tightened. She hadn’t seen her mother since their argument. But that didn’t stop her from berating her phone with texts that said all kinds of things. She didn’t expect to run into her mom like this.

“Yeah…I was busy,” she mumbled in reply.

Her mother turned to Jaemin with an intrigued expression. “And who’s this?”

Before she could answer, Jaemin spoke up. “Nice to meet you. I’m (Y/n)’s boyfriend, Na Jaemin.”

As he politely bowed, her mother clasped her hands together. “Oh, how wonderful. She’s never mentioned you before.”

Jaemin was perceptive enough to catch the way she bit her lip. She only ever did that when she was nervous or uncomfortable. While he didn’t know why she seemed so tense, he decided not to comment on it for now.

“It’s a recent thing. We’ve been together for a few weeks now,” he explained with a tight-lipped smile.

She sucked in a breath, observing her mother eye Jaemin as if he were a piece of candy.

“What a handsome face. (Y/n) should bring you over sometime,” her mom said, subtly darting her eyes towards (Y/n). “After all, I am her mother and gave birth to her. It makes my heart ache when she doesn’t visit.”

The indirect jab hidden beneath her mom’s words made (Y/n) feel like a little girl again. She hated it when her mom tried to guilt her because it always worked.

“Sure, Eomma. We’ll visit you,” she said, forcing herself to smile.

Her shoulders gradually sank once they were a safe distance away. Sensing her unease, Jaemin lightly nudged her. “Are you okay?”

Almost automatically, she nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s just finish shopping.”

Jaemin frowned as she pushed the cart forward and walked ahead of him. The way she immediately brushed him off confirmed that something was off. But if she wasn’t ready to talk about it, he didn’t want to push her.

He was sure she’d open up to him more eventually.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

The unease she felt since encountering her mom that day hadn’t gone away. Her phone hadn’t stopped blowing up with messages since. Though her thumb scrolled mindlessly through her mom’s texts, she couldn’t find the energy in her to respond. Letting out a quiet sigh, she placed the phone down so she could focus on her homework.

“Princess, do you have an extra phone charger?” She glanced up at the sound of Jaemin’s voice.

She couldn’t help but blush a little at the name he used for her. He started calling her that some time ago, and it never failed to make her heart skip a beat.

He had come over to her dorm after his class to do some studying. But it ended up turning into her doing actual work while Jaemin ranted about how Jeno accidentally poured water on his laptop. While he was a little distracting, she didn’t mind his presence at all. She was so used to doing everything on her own, and having Jaemin around made her aware of the loneliness she had been feeling prior.

Nodding, she pointed toward her desk. “Should be in the first drawer.”

Jaemin opened the drawer in search of the charger. However, his eyes widened when he unexpectedly found a razor blade peeking out from a notebook. His brows furrowed in confusion as he hesitantly picked it up. Upon closer inspection, he noticed brownish-red stains on the blade.

She sat up straighter on the bed, her eyes meeting the back of his head. “Did you find it?”

“(Y/n)...what is this?” he asked.

When he turned to her with the familiar shiny tool, her eyes widened with panic. Curses instantly flew through her head, realizing she had forgotten it was there. How could she be so stupid?

Quickly regaining her composure, she attempted to brush him off. “Oh, that’s nothing. Just an old thing.”

She could sense the skepticism in his eyes, and her fingers instinctively gripped the edge of her sleeve, pulling it down. Jaemin caught that, causing his worry to deepen. Setting the blade down, he moved to sit beside her on the bed. His gaze involuntarily fell to her arm, and she pulled back as he extended his hand.

“Can I see?” His voice carried a softness that tugged at her emotions.

Struggling to maintain eye contact, she bit her lip in hesitation. (Y/n) knew that if she was going to be with Jaemin, he would eventually have to find out about her secret. Nevertheless, she hadn’t anticipated it happening so soon. After a deep breath, she reluctantly rolled up the sleeve of her sweater. She looked down at the series of old scars with a mixture of shame and disgust.

Half of her expected the same reaction from Jaemin. But instead, his expression remained unreadable as he lightly traced his fingers over the faded marks. His touch sent an electric tingle down her spine.

“What happened, Princess?” he asked, his voice gentle.

She knew that he simply wanted to understand the reasons behind the scars. However, his question brought back memories she had buried deep, almost making her feel sick. Nonetheless, she took another deep breath before starting to open up.

“Ever since I was little, my parents were always fighting and it always made me feel anxious. At some point I started to think that my parents would’ve been happier if they hadn’t had me,” she confessed. “Then I started cutting myself to numb my feelings. And it only got worse when my mom filed for divorce. I always knew it would happen, but it still hurt.”

Tears sprang to her eyes as she thought back to those nights where she felt so helpless and resentful. The only person who was able to pull her out of that dark place was Renjun. But she was brought back into that downward spiral after everything unfolded. Fighting against her mental state had been a long battle that she still hadn’t fully recovered from.

Jaemin listened in silence, his heart aching for the pain she endured. Now he understood why she seemed so unnerved when they ran into her mother at the store. He could only imagine the influence her mom had over her.

“So that’s why my relationship with my mom isn’t great,” she continued, fidgeting with her blanket.

Jaemin could discern the anguish in her expression. “I stopped cutting a long time ago,” she said, glancing down. “But I understand if you don’t like me anymore.”

Honestly, she didn’t know how he could still like her when he saw her hideous scars that only revealed her brokenness. Yet, the Jaemin she had fallen for wasn't like that at all. Instead of recoiling in revulsion, he lifted her chin so their eyes could meet once more. Then he leaned into plant a tender kiss on her lips.

“Nothing can change how I feel about you, (Y/n),” he said with the utmost assurance. “These scars only show that you’ve gone through battles, and came out stronger because of them.”

Jaemin’s sweet words triggered the waterworks for her, and he wasted no time in pulling her into his embrace. This was the first time he saw her cry, and it only made him want to hold her tighter. In fact, he held her in his arms, providing solace for the rest of the night.

While Jaemin hated seeing her in such distress, he was also grateful that she let him see this vulnerable side to her. He knew it couldn’t have been easy for her. He felt as if he had uncovered the final piece of her puzzle.

Now that she had fully let him in, Jaemin was determined to make her feel more loved than she ever had before.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

{ three years later }

“Jaemin, quit staring,” she giggled. “You have to focus on the road.”

He pouted in response, reluctantly obeying. “I can’t help it, your new hair color is so pretty.”

A blush crept up her cheeks as she subconsciously brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Dying her naturally brown hair to burgundy had been an impulsive decision on her part. She thought that a little change might be nice, and Jaemin seemed to like it.

Time had flown by so quickly. It felt like yesterday when she was insistent on not getting close to Jaemin. And now he had become someone she treasured the most. She couldn’t imagine her life without him.

She had graduated college and secured her first full-time job. While Jaemin was in medical school, studying to become a surgeon. Although his schedule could be demanding, he still made time for her, which she appreciated.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“This fried chicken place Jeno told me about,” he replied, playfully ignoring the way she hastily changed the subject. (Y/n) hummed in response, gazing out the car window to admire the night aesthetics of the city.

Right when they stepped in the restaurant, they were greeted by the enticing aroma of chicken and beer. The dimly lit ambiance cast a warm glow across the space, creating an inviting atmosphere. The latest K-pop songs reverberated through the air, infusing the restaurant with a vibrant energy that resonated with the bustling city outside.

“(Y/n)!”

Jaemin noticed the startled expression when she heard her name being called. He glanced in the direction of the voice and spotted a charismatic tan-skinned man with dark brown hair, radiating a lively and welcoming aura.

“Lee Haechan?” she asked, her eyes widening in surprise.

“The one and only.” The boy said proudly, shifting his gaze to the person standing beside her. “Nice to see you, (Y/n)...and who did you bring with you?”

She blushed almost immediately, briefly glancing at Jaemin. “Oh this is Na Jaemin, my—”

“Boyfriend,” he finished for her, casually swinging an arm around her shoulders. “How do you know, (Y/n)?”

“Oh, we go way back since elementary school.” She caught the mischief in Haechan’s smile, and she just knew that he was ready to tease her.

Thankfully, he held back and guided them to a table. Once they settled down, Haechan told her about how he opened up this restaurant after college. It was nice catching up with him after all these years. However, Haechan seemed to be more intrigued about her and Jaemin.

“So how did you two get together?” Haechan asked, as he placed down two glasses of beer on their table.

She exchanged a glance with Jaemin before answering, “We shared a few classes our first year in college, and he used to go to the café I worked at.”

“Yeah, I was interested in her from the start. It took some time for her to warm up to me.” The soft smile he gave made her heart flutter. “But it was worth it.”

Haechan leaned back in his seat with a playful grin. “Well, Na Jaemin, you must have some charm to crack her tough exterior. I honestly thought she’d never let anyone in after—”

“Haechan,” she said in a warning tone, shooting him a glare. Although she’s moved on from her high school days, she still didn’t like to talk about what happened.

The male raised his hands in the air, feigning innocence. “I’m sorry, I was just saying. But I’m genuinely happy for you, (Y/n), really.”

The sincerity in his eyes allowed her shoulders to relax a little. She smiled at him gratefully, reflecting on how far she’s come since high school. The last time she saw Haechan, she was at her all-time lowest. Now, she was the happiest she had ever been in her life.

Towards the end when they were getting ready to leave, Haechan mentioned a small high school reunion event he was hosting at the restaurant next Sunday.

“You should come (Y/n). I’m sure our old friends would love to see you.”

The thought of seeing her high school friends again was daunting. Haechan noticed the hesitation in her expression and offered an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

“Just think about it,” he said.

Biting her lip, she gave him a small nod and glanced back at Jaemin so they could leave. But as Jaemin headed outside, Haechan held her back for a second.

“You should look him up.” She didn’t need to ask to know he was talking about Renjun.

Unsure of what to say, she nodded silently and joined Jaemin out in the cool evening air. She was quiet during the car ride back, but Jaemin decided not to comment on it for now.

Later in the night, instead of sleeping, she was on her laptop trying to occupy her mind with work stuff. Yet, Haechan’s suggestion lingered in her thoughts. Though a part of her resisted, the curiosity was overwhelming. So she slowly typed Renjun’s name into the search engine, and she was surprised by what she found.

He had debuted as a main vocalist in an idol group under SM entertainment. She couldn’t believe her eyes as she scrolled YouTube, showcasing his group’s music videos and stage performances. Watching the clips in awe, she couldn’t help but think back to the letter she had written to him before moving away. Seeing that he had not only pursued but achieved his dream filled with her a warm sense of pride and satisfaction. She always knew he would be successful.

Lost in her thoughts, she almost didn’t notice Jaemin entering the room after finishing his shower. It was pretty late by the time they got back to her apartment, so Jaemin happily accepted her offer to sleep over. She became aware of his presence when he came up from behind and wrapped his arms around her. Her lips stretched into a small smile, as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Is that the guy you told me about? Your first love?” he asked, viewing the screen in front of you.

Her smile faded as she slowly nodded. “Yeah that’s him.”

A moment of silence passed between them before Jaemin spoke again. “Is that why you hesitated when Haechan brought up the high school reunion?”

“I don’t know, I feel like I’d just make things awkward by going,” she sighed, turning around to lightly brush her fingers through his slightly damp hair. “What do you think?”

Jaemin gently tilted her chin up, meeting her eyes. “I think you should go,” he murmured softly. “I know you moved on, but confronting your past might give you some closure.”

Her lips pressed together, recognizing the validity in his words. Despite that, uncertainty lingered in her expression.

“I could come with you if you want,” he suggested.

Surprised by his offer, she raised an eyebrow and asked if he was being serious. Jaemin nodded with a reassuring smile. “Of course, I wouldn’t let my princess do this alone.”

In moments like those, (Y/n) couldn’t help but find herself falling for him again. He was always so sweet and supportive.

“Thank you, that means a lot to me,” she whispered, caressing his cheek with the pad of her thumb. “I can always count on you, can’t I?”

Jaemin's smile broadened as he met her halfway for a quick kiss. He closed her laptop, and pulled her into his embrace so they could cuddle in bed. Laying there beside him, she could see the love pouring from his eyes.

And with him, she felt like she could take on anything.

┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦┈◦•◦♡•◦

No matter how much she tried to mentally prepare herself for Sunday, her hands still trembled as she stood outside the restaurant entrance. Thankfully, Jaemin was by her side to lightly squeeze her hand in reassurance. After a slow exhale, her hand wrapped around the door handle and pushed it open.

As she walked into the sound of chatter and clinking glasses, she spotted Haechan downing a shot of soju. After placing the glass down, Haechan waved over to you and Jaemin.

“Oh, you guys are here!” the male called out.

Heads turned, and the sudden attention made her cheeks heat up.

“Hey, everyone. It’s been awhile,” she said with a sheepish smile, exchanging a brief glance with Jaemin. “Um—this is my boyfriend, Na Jaemin.”

Just as she said that, her eyes locked onto him almost immediately. He didn’t look too different from the last time she saw him, except his facial features were more defined and his hair was bleached. She wondered how many times he’s had to dye his hair since he debuted.

Instantly, her introduction of Jaemin elicited excited comments and congratulations, intensifying her shyness. Seated among her former classmates, she and Jaemin found themselves bombarded with questions about how they met and other details. Gradually, she began to relax as she and Jaemin recounted their story.

Later in the evening, Haechan encouraged Renjun to perform one of his songs for the group. Although Renjun seemed hesitant initially, he eventually stepped up to the small stage located near the back wall of the restaurant. Soon, music began to play through the speakers, and she observed with anticipation.

It had been so long since she heard him sing in person. As he started with the first verse of the song, a wave of high school memories flooded through her mind. Those days when they would listen to his playlist while waiting for the bus. The summer days when he tried to get her to sing his favorite songs with him, but she was too shy to join in.

She watched as he took the microphone off the stand, reaching the chorus of the song.

“Tell me why I let you down. Any chance I get I’m breaking down,” he sang with such emotion. His voice was just as beautiful as she remembered.

“I know it’s my fault, but why is it so hard?” Her heart strangely twisted when his eyes found hers. “To tell you that I’m sorry, heart.”

It didn't take much for her to understand that he was singing to her. As he continued with the rest of the song, tears glossed over her eyes. Although she was no longer hurt by the past, hearing him now made her heart swell in emotion. Jaemin was right, this was the closure she had needed.

When the event came to a close, Jaemin suggested they take a little walk. She was a little confused when he guided her across the street and stopped under a large maple tree. Moonlight filtered through the branches, creating a serene ambiance.

“You okay?” he asked, noticing she was more quiet than usual.

She pondered on his question for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I am. I thought I would regret going tonight, but I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad you did too. All your friends seemed nice,” Jaemin said, placing a hand in his jacket pocket. Initially, she assumed he was just cold, but then his hand emerged holding a small black box.

“What…what are you doing?” she asked, looking at him with a puzzled expression.

Jaemin smiled, his eyes reflecting the moonlight. “I was going to wait, but for some reason, I think now is the right moment.”

Her eyes widened when he got down on one knee, and her heartbeat skyrocketed instantly. A part of her wondered if she was hallucinating.

He opened the box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring inside. She gasped, clasping a hand over her mouth.

“Kim (Y/n), I knew you were the one since the first time I laid eyes on you,” Jaemin began, trying his his best to keep his voice stable, his hand shaking a little. She had never seen him so nervous before.

“Over time, I fell in love with the way you smile, the way you face challenges, and the incredible strength you carry within you,” he continued. “Every day, I am so grateful that you let me into your world. And these past few years together, made me realize that I don’t want to live another moment without you in it.”

By this point, she couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. Jaemin let out a shaky breath, his eyes filled with love as he asked, “So with that said, will you marry me?”

Through tears, she managed to nod, her voice barely above a whisper, “Yes.”

She wished she could say the word a million times over. What did she ever do to deserve Na Jaemin in her life?

Once the ring was slid onto her finger, they embraced tightly than they ever have before. In the midst of their joy, she spotted Renjun standing across the street. Their eyes met, and the genuine smile they shared conveyed a silent understanding. In that moment, she realized that they both found their happy endings in a way. He went after his dreams, which was all she wanted for him. Meanwhile, she had found someone who cherished and valued her.

Jaemin broke away slightly to wipe her tears. Then he slowly leaned in to give her a kiss, one full of passion and tenderness. Her hands found their way to the back of his neck as she applied a little more pressure to the kiss.

“I love you, Na Jaemin,” she whispered when they parted, her eyes still watery.

The smile on his face widened as he pressed his forehead against hers. “I love you too, Kim (Y/n).”

The city faded away, leaving them lost in the moment. Before she met Jaemin, she questioned whether she could ever find love or be loved by someone. But none of those doubts lingered in her mind as she stood in his arms.

Though Jaemin wasn’t her first love, he was most certainly her last.

𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡

#nct dream #nctzen #kpop #czennie #nct dream imagines #nct #jaemin #jaemin x reader #nct jaemin #jaemin imagines #jaemin fic #nct dream x reader #jaemin scenarios #nct dream fic #na jaemin #nct dream fluff

52 notes · View notes

gettinshiggywithit · 1 year

Note

Can you do a fukuzawa, ranpo, kunikida, dazai, chuuya, (you can add more if you want :) except the kids though) x stalker reader (I'd like it to be slightly suggestive)

!The BSD Boys X A Stalker!Reader!

Scenario:- how I think the bsd boys would react to having a stalker (reader is a bit yandere-y and creepy?)

Pairing(s):- dazai x gn!reader | chuuya x gn!reader | ranpo x gn!reader | kunikida x gn!reader

Genre:- im not really sure...

Type:- headcanons

A/N:-Hi there! SO I know you said u wanted it to be suggestive,but truth be told I don’t really see them taking it lightly enough for it to become suggestive… Now I know that not all writers on here will think that but I try to make my interpretations of how they would react in certain situations as accurate as possible.so I truly would like to apologize in advance for it not being what you expected/wanted🤕. @thesimpupthesky id love to hear ur feedback even if it isn’t necessarily positive 😓!

Disclaimer:- There’s nothing even remotely romantic about this.#prepare for blatant rejection and uncomfortable scenarios if you wanna go forward

->Dazai

Honestly he found it amusing,how you sent letters and little things and he found it even more amusing how you thought he wouldn’t know who you were.

Dazai was a man of many talents and finding out information he wanted and needed was one of them.

So he decided he’d give you the chance to talk to him,or rather for him to talk to you.

The next day dazai left the agency building for a little walk,knowing full well you’d follow him.

Once he was about to pass an alley,he turned into it instead of just going straight.

This confused you.

You’d been studying his routes and his schedules and the only thing he visited around here other than the café was the convenience store that always seemed to have a deal on bandages,and even that was a few blocks away.

Nevertheless,you followed him into the alley,maybe you could talk to him? Finally hear his voice speaking to you..

But when you turned the corner the alley was empty

You walked in and looked around,how could he have vanished??

Just as you were about to give up and leave you felt someone’s presence behind you.

you turned around you were met with the object of your admirations.

The man himself

Osamu dazai

And suddenly you were nervous…

No words came out of your mouth when you tried to speak,so he decided to fill the awkward silence himself.

“so you’re the one who’s been stalking me,” he said with a laugh. “I was honestly hoping for a more challenging opponent”

This snapped you out of your trance.

“opponent? I-I don’t want to be your opponent…”

“what do you want to be then?”he asked,the look in his eyes showed he knew the answer.

“i…I wanna be your partner;as in,in a romantic sense”

“so you want to date me? Well im sorry to disappoint,but im not interested”

“but-”you began and were immediately cut off

“I’d like to be with someone who would be willing to commit double suicide with me,and im guessing that you aren’t hmm?”

“i-”

“mhmm,”he said turning around to leave the alley, “that’s what I thought”

“but I love you!”

He turned back to look at you before leaving the alley, “how tragic”

And with that he was gone

->Chuuya

Honestly it really pissed him off.

Everyday,his mail was filled with letters and little knick knacks you’d sent him and it was getting really really annoying,because you’d had the brilliant idea of making your letters look like official ones he actually needed to open.

He’d gotten pretty good at telling when it was one of your bs ones or his actual mail now.but he’d always end up goin thru the ones he’d sorted out too.

He couldnt risk missing anything important.

And while it did make Chuuya’s life a living hell,he didn’t think you were worth engaging.so he suffered in silence.

That is,until he received a rather unsavoury package.

“Unsavoury how op?”You must be asking!

Well lets say he knew it was a bs letter when he saw the package alone.

Because it was wet.

He grabbed a paper towel and used it to toss the package aside,looking through his actual letter pile to make sure nothing important had been soiled as a result of your annoying-ass shite.

Thankfully nothing had been ruined but when he had finished work that day,his curiosity got the best of him and he put on a pair of disposable gloves to open the package (AINT NO WAY IN HELL HES TOUCHIN THAT SHIT WITH HIS ACTUAL GLOVES! NAH UH!)

When he opened the envelope a set of undergarments fell out,and they were...nope he wasn’t gonna finish that thought!

This was the final straw!

This had gone on long enough and he was fed up.

Chuuya used the mafia’s resources and was able to find someone who could find out who tf you were

Once he had his answer he looked at your address and thought he’d give you about as much of a surprise you had him.

He picked open your lock and stood by your window all the photos and pictures of him you had tacked around, making his skin crawl.

just as you were coming in through the door you noticed a figure by your window and squeaked out loud in shock,dropping your bags.

“You-you’re-”

“The person you’ve been fkin inconveniencing,yeah” he said,taking a purposeful step towards you.

You took a step back,this wasnt how you’d envisioned your meeting! He wasn’t supposed to be mad...why was he mad??

“Inconvenience? I never meant to inconvenience you!” You squeaked out.

Chuuya didn’t even try to hide his disdain at that.but he also wanted to get out of there asap!

He looked you directly in the eye and said in the most intimidating voice you’d ever heard, “either you leave me the fxck alone,or ill send my subordinates to take out the trash.”

You were so shook by this that you fell over backwards and he took that as his cue to leave.

He held onto his hat and ducked back through the window.

this snapped you out of your train wreck of thoughts.

You reached out to him and shouted,clear as day and loud enough to be heard, “BUT I LOVE YOU!”

He looked back at you and the disgust that came over his sharp features managed to distort them in a surprisingly unattractive way

“Not my fuxkin problem!”

And with that he disappeared and your entire reality came crashing down as the fog cleared and you realised just what had happened.

->Ranpo

“Ooh mail!” He said as he went through the pile kunikida had brought up for him.

But nope. None of the snacks he’d ordered had come yet. And he knew better than to eat mystery candy from strangers,his dad boss fukuzawa had taught him better.

This was the fourth day too...

Ack he was sick of this!

Ranpo quickly deduced your location and asked dazai to take care of it.

He knew dazai’s past from the mafia and he really wasn’t bothered to go himself.

But he also knew dazai wouldn’t do anything unnecessary,so he was the perfect choice!

When dazai came back ranpo asked him how it went

“Oh,nothing special,just some poor soul stuck in a delusion”

To which ranpo nodded,commenting that it was finally over.

“Yeah about that,they said they loved you...sounded pretty convinced you loved em too.”

Ranpo knew this,but he asked dazai what his response had been nevertheless.

“Ah,” said Dazai, falling into the chair next to ranpo’s.

“I just told them that you had better things to do and better people to spend your time with.”

“ a bit harsh?”

“Mhm,but you know there wasnt any other way.”

Ranpo nodded once again and went back to his snack and cartoon.

The next days came and went and ranpo finally had his regular mail on schedule.

Now his pile was of boxes of sweet drinks,snacks and even more delights!

->Kunikida

This entire ordeal irked kunikida to his core

It neither made sense according to his ideals,nor did it make sense in general

Furthermore your letters and packages were becoming a nuisance

He had to end it.

Kunikida asked katai to find your location and when it was handed to him he took it and left.

Thirty minutes was all he allocated for this entire situation ,and he aimed to end it within his pre-set time frame.

He knocked on your door and when you answered it,you were obviously taken aback!

You struggled to find words so he filled in the silence.time was ticking after all...

“Good day,y/n. Im sure you know who i am but im here to tell you that i am not interested in you.you fail to meet all the criteria to fit into my spousal plan project and you have shown a severe lack of honorable ideals.therefore i would like you to leave me alone and allocate your time more constructively.thank you and good day.”

He bowed and turned to leave but you gripped his arm and with determination dripping from your every word said, “but i love you! We’re meant to be!”

He sharply shook off your hand and barely even looked at you as he said, “i wholeheartedly disagree.take care and goodbye.”

And then he left without even sparing you a glance.

157 notes · View notes

sweetnessfollowsmp3 · 1 year

Text

mob is very special to me in a lot of ways, but i think he’s also some of the best autistic rep in any media i’ve seen so far.

i could talk about this for ages, but a couple things stick out to me. mob psycho 100 isn’t the first piece of media to show the advantageous side of autism, but in almost all cases, these advantages are boiled down to the “misunderstood genius trope.” an autistic character might have a photographic memory, or maybe they can solve any math problem without pen and paper. in other words, the narrative has to justify their autism with some kind of “superpower.”

his complete social obliviousness makes it difficult for anyone to influence him via social pressure. he’s not susceptible to dimple’s smiling cult, partially because of his psychic powers, but also because he had no urge to assimilate to match the energy of everyone else in the room. it later helps him during the broccoli arc, in which the group mentality of psycho helmet is so strong that reigen doesn’t even need to eat the divine tree candy to be brainwashed.

furthermore, mob is the only one able to defeat the dragger, but not because of his extraordinary power. the dragged is an evil spirit borne of an urban legend, fueled by the community’s fear of her: no one who experiences this fear can exorcize her. but mob is “completely out of the loop,” in the words of reigen and dimple, and therefore completely unaffected.

mob’s autism also causes him to be brutally honest. while he occasionally says things that might be perceived as hurtful due to this trait, it comes in handy against suzuki toichiro. reigen recognized mob’s advantage in this situation while explaining why he didn’t follow mob or send anyone else with him. he says mob is the best person for the job because he can honestly tell people how he feels without regard to social expectations. and it is this honestly that enables mob to express radical kindness to toichiro, a kindness that leads to his defeat just as much as mob’s overwhelming psychic power.

in terms of mob’s personal life, i would argue his autism helps him improve himself. despite immense pressure to use his psychic powers to solve his problems (from dimple, teru, etc), he persists in improving himself organically. he never once shows embarrassment about how weak he is compared to the other members of the body improvement club; it never deters him from continuing to train. i would argue it’s partially due to his personality (source: i’m autistic and potential social humiliation terrifies me. rsd is a bitch.), but it’s certainly fueled also by his complete lack of perception of social cues. it never even occurs to him to be embarrassed.

despite all these positives, the disability aspect of autism is not downplayed, which is incredibly important to balanced autistic representation.

mob takes things at face value, rarely stopping to think if someone might be lying to him (this trait often shows up in terms of his love life; he always assumes confession letters are genuine) — something many autistic people struggle with.

he also expresses his emotions differently, causing other characters in the show at times to accuse him of having no feelings.

of course, mob’s somewhat emotionless appearing demeanor is influenced by his emotional shutdown after accidentally hurting ritsu.** however, i would argue it’s also influenced by his autism. if it was always his emotional shutdown causing him to not express emotions when he’s expected to, we would see his explosion meter go up. but oftentimes when he doesn’t always appear happy when he “should” or is completely unfazed by a theoretically hurtful insult, his meter stays the same.

he just doesn’t express his emotions in a way a neurotypical person would, sometimes leading to social rejection or others misinterpreting his actions. this is most frequently seen with emi, who often perceives mob’s lack of self-expression as disinterest, much to his dismay.

i might say that the points above aren’t NECESSARILY negatives because mob isn’t always emotionally impacted by these traits. others may be embarrassed for him, but he is often unfazed. but his inability to “get a clue” clearly causes his emotional distress. he has flashbacks to other kids repeatedly saying this to him—he remembers this ridicule all these years later.

mob is aware that he doesn’t always get what’s going on, which causes him to envy ritsu for more than his grades and athleticism. ritsu has more social finesse than mob, or at least mob perceives it that way (personally, autistic ritsu is a headcanon very close to my heart). ritsu certainly has an idea of what might be socially humiliating for mob and himself, while mob doesn’t. ritsu is in the loop, and mob knows this, further fueling his inferiority complex compared to ritsu.

summed up neatly, mob’s autism is in some way disabling to him, while also frequently helping him throughout the story. it is partially this balanced portrayal of autism that makes mob psycho’s autistic rep so good.

mob psycho really only touches on the social aspect of autism, which could be considered a shortcoming. and that’s a totally valid criticism! but in terms of the story and mob’s character arc, it’s the most vital aspect. so i don’t necessarily think it takes away from the valuable autistic rep that the show provides.

**I might even argue that his psychic powers could be an allegory for autistic emotional dysregulation, but that’s a different post.

#mob psycho 100 #kageyama shigeo #mp100 #help this is such a long post #ty to anyone who stuck with me through this mess #astrid.txt

238 notes · View notes

leftclown · 11 months

Text

So now I'm gonna move on and actually describe an experience I have had as a trans man who is currently detransitioned due to financial status. This experience involves both misogyny and transphobia, and I'm not really here to debate weather or not I Can experience these things, instead I'm just going to share it.

So I guess somewhat important context to this is that I am rather feminine by appearence. If you encountered me in the wild you'd think I was the hoodie and cookie monster pajama girl from high school. My partner, also not currently receiving gender affirming care passes a bit better than me. He at the very least gives people pause or incites confusion. Usually, though, people just assume he's a young man.

I was going to get a state ID because I had moved recently to another state. My ID from my previous state had my gender marked as M because I went through the due process to get that done. New home state has a policy that if youre from out of state you have to get your ID processed at the police station. My partner is also trans and had gone a week prior to get his done, and they had respected his ID's gender marker, moving all of his information from the out of state record.

I go in and of course I am marked F, so upon reviewing it I said thats incorrect, because my ID says M. We go back and forth and I eventually produce my partner's ID and say "you did it for him just last week". Big mistake on my part because I'm honestly still learning how not to give people like this the benefit of the doubt. Regardless, they go to their manager to figure out what to do.

A few minutes later I am called alone into the managers office. Here's a shortlist of this meeting;

-Thet confiscated my partners ID without him present

-Told me my due process didn't matter, that I can only change it if I had a letter saying I had already had SRS.

-Took my previous ID and voided it so I couldn't change my birth certificate

-Made me submit my ID as F

-Tell me my partner has to come in to correct his to F as well

This all happens very quickly, and I try to advocate for myself and lose. By the end of it, I am crying a bit and I mutter to myself "This is fucking insane".

This is the part that really fucked me up.

The manager stepped forward toward me, holding her hands in that defensive position, the one cops to do say 'I'm calm but prepared to use force', you know where they tilt their hips forward and rest their hands on the front of their belt. She tells me "I understand you're upset, but there is no swearing in here."

I am a nearly 30 year old MAN. And she is trying to tell me not to swear like I'm some teenager giving her lip.

"I'm not from here, this is just how I talk" I say, not yet realizing that she is trying to instigate. She prods this issue again, trying to detract me, trying to get me to cuss more. Trying to rile me up. I become quiet and still, thank them for their time and leave. She called me Sweetheart as I left.

And there is nothing I can do in this situation. Im dealing with cops in a red state. There's nothing I can do but cave to the authority because my plans are bigger than this. Because to further advocate is to put myself in danger and she made that very clear by drawing a line at me swearing. So I submit.

Submitting in a situation like this feels like your power is being taken from you. Like they are physically removing something from your arms and trying to get it back would be a major risk. It's not just that someone is stepping on me, it's that theyre telling me politely to get on the ground so I can be stepped on. It felt especially oppressive in this scenario, but it always feels like this. In the workplace, in social group, in family, a trans man is the least respectable thing you can be because not only are you a woman, but you're a crazy, damaged woman and if you're me you get ire for being a waste of a pretty face.

There's always a timeline too, it can be long or short but it always goes like this; People receive me initially with feigned tolerance and some mild comparisons to my partner's masculinity. Then they start poking and pushing and trying to see if I'm really a trans man in ways they think is subtle but to me is very unsubtle. Eventually, when they've disrespected me to the point of reacting emotionally, they act like they've gotten their gotcha moment because I've displayed the Ultimate Thing that makes you Not A Man: Tears. Most of them don't even need to get to there to conclude I'm a trender because well if I'm already almost 30 and haven't transitioned, I must not want it bad enough.

I'm sharing this story not just because it displays the intersections of being a trans man, how hard it is to obtain respect and how fragile that respect is, but also because I know there are guys out there who are like me. I see you, you with the puffy lips and round hips, you who can't transition right now, you who feels like he's waiting for a some day, for a time when it's just okay to exist out there and be treated with the basic fucking dignity of telling someone "Hi, I'm Dave" and having them reply without looking at your tits first. Who has beat himself up in the quiet hours for years for being too emotional, too feminine, feeling assaulted by the way the world wants to commodify your body and demonize your mind. You deserve to be seen and respected.

83 notes · View notes

hana-no-seiiki · 1 year

Text

༊*·˚ GUEST IS GOD CUSTOMER SERVICE お客様は神様カスタマーサービス ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

☎️ . . . HELLO HELLO! You have reached the Guest is God’s customer service line. How may I help you, dearest guest? ♡

Oh, you’re new ? My my, why don’t I introduce you to our establishment first, shall we ?

line status: unedited

The Guest is God Host Club is home to many of our fantastic hosts here to make your day, afternoon, or evening a little more interesting. Our employees cover a vast amount of needs our visitors might want from a regular old friend to talk to or maybe a dominant sexual deviant to spend the night with !

It’s important to know that despite our guests position as gods and goddesses of our club, to touch and perform any type of activities must with our hosts must first ask for consent. The best way would be to use our in-house formats such as “May this god . . . ? “ or “Could you service this god by . . . ?” as our staff are trained to respond immediately to this call.

If you break any of the rules, especially the one above, you are to be eliminated escorted outside the premises and blacklisted from entering.

So, dearest Guest. Please make sure to read our rulebook thoroughly !

Now that you know what The Guest is God is, how about I introduce you to our hosts and hostesses?

Now I may be a bit biased, but [L/N] [Y/N] has got to be my favorite ♡ You’ll find them to be the best match for you if you’re interested in the maid types . [Y/N] may act like a bit of a brat at times however, as such it’s your job as our guest to put them in their place ! We can’t have a disobedient servant after all . Oh oh, and I heard, if you pay extra you can bring them home to do your chores and what not. Aren’t you just excited by the thought of —

[ You hear an awfully loud cough from the other side and a couple of smacks. ]

Thanks but th-that hurt, y’know!

Fine ! Fine ! Moving on. Geez.

Now, Hazu Kashi is our latest addition so there may be times he . . . gets out of character but rest assured he’ll get to an acceptable level . . . one day. He’s supposed to represent the Dominant Daddy type but he’s a bit too shy. I honestly don’t know what boss was thinking trying to —

[ Another smack, this time much, much louder ]

He does pack a hit however! [ groan ] Making him the perfect sadist to entertain any of your masochistic needs!

Unto our next host, shall we?

If you’re looking for a more experienced worker. Ms. Hilda Mcguire might be more up your speed. She has worked here for close to a decade now and used to be the top of the ranks before [Y/N]. If you’re into the classic femme fatale who’ll sweep you right off your feet then I suggest scheduling a meeting with her.

Mmm . . . who next . . .

Oh Oh! If you’re up for even more spice in your life, might I direct you to our very own Orochi Kimura! The Yandere Lover. Signing up for them is a little tricky though. Buncha waivers regarding privacy and the lack thereof moving forward with his contract, possible missing peers and family members, bloody letters and what not.

Ah, you want something a little more tame?

Keisuke Abe is pretty rough around the edges. If you like a little excitement but not - well risk your life and all that. Keisuke is pretty fun to hang out with. Though the smell of alcohol in his dedicated room is quite nauseating. He’s great at bringing people out of their shells !

For guests with more expensive tastes, I recommend Junichiro and Nao. Jun is the perfect sugar baby for those whose time is little and wallets big. Give him a gift or two and he’ll be yours to use however you’d like. Nao on the other hand is for guests who love to be on the receiving end.

Tired of demure partners? Why don’t you try Masashi? Personally I wouldn’t hang out more than I have to with the grump, but surprisingly he’s quite popular with the folks here. Some people really do like getting insulted 24/7 huh?

On the other hand, if you like the definition of bland . . . er - shy. Well Haku, Hazu’s twin, should be right up your alley! He’s more of a listener than a talker, so he’s usually partnered with chatty clients.

Let’s get some estrogen back in for our last few introductions . . .

Hinata has to be my second favorite next to [Y/N]. She used to work as a regular old nurse both in and out of the club until Boss was looking for a potential replacement for the latter. Fortunately I heard that [Y/N]’s graduation was cancelled so they’re both available at the moment. As a host she’s pretty similar but with less of the formal speech and more of the motherly vibes, y’know?

Emi Ishii is a jack of all trades when it comes to the sibling-con types. May it be the clingy little sister or the big boobie- [cough] nice older sister, Emi’s got ya covered! A little warning though, that girl can talk for hours if you pick the little sister option. Even I got winded.

And last but not least, we have our general staff members. You might encounter us once in a while during your stays inside the club.

Our boss Mr. Melchior is basically as old as time at this point. I heard from Ms. Hilda that he’s been here since she started working ten years ago and he has not age a bit! He can be really, really scary when people break the rules . .

Ursa or what we usually call her, Bear, is in charge of security. Nothing gets past her sight. If you ever see a big bear mask and claws. Make sure you’re in your best possible behavior.

If you’re having scheduling problems or issues with how your host is acting, please contact either Akihiko Sugimoto or Mei Lan. They’re in-charge of human resources and management respectively.

A quick ring of a bell will alert Kin, our cleaner of any messes you’d like to have gone. He doesn’t exactly talk so don’t expect a conversation if you ever pass by him down the halls.

And last but not least, little old me! I man the desk 24/7. No rest for the wicked they say h a h a! You can call me Youko. I’ll be handling your documents, log in times, and what-not in addition to any questions you may have about The Guest is God.

You still need a bit more time to choose?

Once you’ve made a decision just give this number another ring. I’ll be right here to guide you along the sign-up process.

Hope to see you here soon, Mr. Eden Whitlock!

GUEST IS GOD REGULARS: [reply to be added to the taglist]

181 notes · View notes

wheelercore · 6 months

Text

The Curious Case of The Dead Wheeler Granny

Also known as: I need to make a cohesive post that actually has context so i can add it to the ✨ master post ✨. So basically if you already know, you know. idk.

So... recently have been thinking A Lot about weird "production errors" (tm) and creel home fuckery + wheeler parallels. Its no secret that there are Many references to the creel home in the wheeler home for whatever reason, from the piano to the wedding dress to even the clock chimes (?) close to the the door way of the wheeler home.

However one of the most fascinating Choices was when the main urn that sat on the wheeler mantle place since s1 suddenly changed to a completely different urn during the convergence of the four gates at the climax of s4. What was the reason for this? It's also no secret that ST is riddled with what we can call "intentional" errors in objects, peoples positions, etc etc. But why a seemingly random object that has been sitting in the background of the home for 4 seasons w/o any special attention? And why at the important climax of the season?

Season 1

Season 4- before the climax

Season 4- after the climax

(and this isnt even to mention the fact that the wheeler dining room is covered in rose vases that mimic the OG urn)

If you reference this back to the mantle place in the Creel home... there is something quite interesting:

A few little trinkets, weirdly placed and evenly spread out. There is a little bird (dove?) statue like how the wheelers have two geese statues sitting on their mantle place. Next to that though? A strange looking golden vase. Mind you, this is happened when Virginia is having her "holding up the mirror" moment. As in this mirror is right there reflecting Virginia and this little urn-looking vase trinket and the rose-y wallpaper behind her (which is interesting given that the OG urn has pink roses on it with a framed picture of pink roses next to it).

Put the Virginia relation in your back pocket for now. Lets go up to the stuff in the Creel attic, which are heavily referenced in the wheeler home, in particular the wedding dress:

Where has have we seen a piece of a brides clothing in s4? In Suzie's home, where her sister Tabitha is wearing a wedding veil, and you guess it, a pink floral (roses? Honestly the color scheme is very similar to the creel wallpaper mentioned above) dress:

In which Tabitha pretends to die. She's not really dying. The joke here is that Tabitha's father had thought she was dying though ("it looked genuine"). And oh... is that the edge of a grandfather clock I see right outside the doorway framed right there this scene?

If I was extra weird about it I could also point out that the letter blocks on Tabitha's bracelet kind of spell out (M?)AMA. But its super blurry and I cant get a good shot of it so take this with a grain of salt:

A little sprinkle of Petergate here but Tabitha is a woman who was raised from the dead by Saint Peter:

Which I mean... If we're going to talk about lying about moms dying? The "Nanas got cancer" gag in s3 in which... Hopper lies about Mikes Nana being sick but then goes onto say:

There's nothing wrong with Nana

Mike then proceeds to repeatedly call him a liar. So... nothing's wrong with Nana? Would that explain the weird trend of people specifically lying over the phone about having a sick family member also in s3/s4?

(credit: screenshots from this @/heroesbyler post - unrelated to this theory, I just think its neat)

And if we're talking about lies:

(oh holly girl... wearing that pink + white outfit and that rose shirt lmao)

And of course: Papa lies.

(don't even get me started on how the grandfather clock most likely represents Brenner ("maybe hes a clock maker?" and s4 literally starting with Brenner setting a timer))

But this begs the question... If, by all accounts, nothing is wrong with Nana, so much so it would be like she was raised from the dead, then who's ashes do the Wheeler's have on their mantle place thinking that its their granny?

Could it be, thinking back to the weird trinket on front of the mirror in the Creel home, Virginia's ashes instead? Quick question, where exactly are Virginia and Alice buried? Did Victor get a say in his wife's funeral arrangements?

And if Nana Wheeler's death was a lie designed to conceal a truth and Papa lies... ah who am i kidding it was martin brenner. it was fucking brenner who else would do some weird shit like this. it was him.

Anyways things like this really make me question why exactly the Wheelers are one of two main families in the show. As far as I know they didn't do much in TFS, so hell, why not Patty? Bob? The Sin Claires?

Regardless, I would really like them to be kind and rewind back to whatever is going on here if you know what I mean

#rosegate #karen wheeler #ted wheeler #mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #holly wheeler #virginia creel #alice creel #martin brenner

36 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

saelex

vashwood-anthology

Love Thy Sinner - A Vashwood Anthology

hamssonosi

نزف القلم...ثورة إحساس

zarazkaskazka-blog

Untitled

dayroot

Life on Morphine