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taexual · 4 years

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i’d love you to stay but that’s simply insane // JJK (13)

jungkook is an uncontrollable lead vocalist of the campus band, and you’re a goal-oriented top student that’s known his rich and complicated family since childhood. you don’t want anything to do with each other, until each other is exactly what you want to do.

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: college au

warnings: angst, years of longing escalating into something serious

words: 8.6k (send help)

chapter thirteen

The lamp posts on the street illuminated Jungkook’s face with a warm yellow haze as the two of you walked back to your dormitory, the noise of the party – and the argument you’d had outside of it – already behind you. You didn’t dare to watch him for longer than just a split-second but you could feel his eyes on you when he thought you were too focused on the pavement to notice.

You hadn’t said a word to each other since you left the front yard of his house – and that was already two and a half blocks away – and both of you were busy worrying what the right way to say goodbye once you reached your dorm was. A wave didn’t feel enough but a hug seemed inappropriate after the intense conversation you’d had.

Clearing his throat, Jungkook volunteered to make your trip less awkward.

“Were you actually going to have me arrested?” he asked, recalling your previous threat with surprising clarity – probably because it had impressed him so much.

You sighed, recognizing the amusement on his features – no matter how hard he tried to play it off as simple curiosity – and then said, “no, probably not. That would have only ruined your whole plan and your future—”

“I already have a record,” he pointed out. He said it like that was supposed to make you feel better – it’s totally fine if you get me arrested, you know – but you almost stopped walking in surprise.

“Y-you do?” you asked, unable to fathom how a family as rich as his could not find a way to ensure their beloved son remained a flawless citizen.

“It’s not the first time I got into a fight,” he explained simply and, if you hadn’t known the truth, you’d have thought he really was just your usual troublemaker with no strong backing from his relatives whatsoever. “Some of those fights were more public than others.”

“And your dad—?”

“He took care of it to the best of his ability,” Jungkook admitted, sounding far less dignified than when he mentioned he had a record – as if that was something to be proud of. “But he can only do so much without staining his own reputation. It’s just a few misdemeanors anyway, so he decided it wasn’t worth it. If it proved to be a problem later on, he thought he could just blame it on my youth.”

You chose not to voice it – to avoid an argument that would certainly arise because that was just how Jungkook was – but you couldn’t help thinking that his father’s reasoning was actually different. Maybe he chose not to cover Jungkook’s previous arrest up to teach him a lesson.

“Does that bother you?” you asked instead.

“What?

“That he didn’t put enough work to cover this up.”

Jungkook looked down. All of your questions about his feelings, his wishes, his ambitions were so unusual to him that he didn’t even know what the proper way of answering them was, because you looked like you genuinely wanted to know. You didn’t ask just to be polite.

“No,” he ended up saying, “I didn’t want him to cover it up. And it’s not like I acted out to get his attention, or anything. He seemed really tired of it all when he had to deal with that. You know he’s usually the sort who gets his frustrations out vocally?”

“Yeah,” you said.

“Well, when he picked me up from the police station, he didn’t say a word,” Jungkook said. “It was like I’d unlocked a new level of disappointment – one I’d never seen before – where he was just quietly fuming. Or just… so disappointed, he couldn’t even begin to find words.”

You felt jittery. It was hard to walk when your legs kept trying to bounce nervously, hoping to rid you of the excessive anxiety.

“I never knew this,” you said.

Jungkook gave you a smile that wasn’t supposed to seem sad but, because it was purposefully meant to conceal his despair, sad was exactly what it seemed like.

“My mom didn’t tell yours,” he said.

“But they tell each other everything,” you felt the need to point out but you could feel your own naivety getting the best of you – even the people, who had no secrets, had secrets.

“Yeah, I know,” Jungkook replied. “But I don’t think my mom would have had it in her to brag to her best friend – with a straight-A student for a daughter – that her son got arrested. She may have been less obvious than my dad, but she was still just as disappointed.”

Your heart clenched uncomfortably when he mentioned your scholarly achievements and, for a brief moment, you almost felt bad for being such a good student when he was struggling to be a good person.

But you didn’t think now was the time to feel bad about yourself – especially since there wasn’t anything you should have felt bad about in the first place – and you eyed Jungkook carefully before finally daring to ask, “did they ever say they were disappointed in you?”

“They don’t have to say it, it’s plain and obvi—”

“No, but maybe that’s just you assuming things,” you interrupted. Your mind conjured up a thousand scenarios of how this conversation could have gone wrong, but your mouth kept moving, “you have that right. I mean, they have been disappointed in you plenty of times before. But maybe this time they weren’t. Maybe they were just scared for you.”

Jungkook looked at you and he wanted to believe that you were basing your speculations on some legitimate evidence that he’d missed, instead of just hoping that this was true. But he’s known his parents long enough to recognize their defeat.

“Why would they be scared?” he questioned rhetorically. “I know how to throw a punch.”

“Well, maybe that’s why,” you said.

“No, that’s not it,” he said firmly. “They don’t get scared when I get into fights. They get frustrated, like how did I dare to do that? And then do that again. And again. Maybe they also get confused: I am their son and yet they can’t explain why I am this way.”

He said it like he was diseased – like lacking proper conflict-resolution skills and being impulsive was an illness he’d inherited from someone and, since no one else in his family was sick, that had to mean he didn’t belong there. He belonged somewhere else.

And every time he did something that did not fit into the frame of acceptable behavior in his family’s eyes, it just reminded them that he was the black sheep in a herd of white ones. How did he get here?

“It’s not just you,” you said, your heart hurting. No matter if his parents were really disappointed in him or if they were just worried for him, no child should ever feel like he didn’t belong at home. “Kids from close, loving families rarely grow up to be impulsive or, well, aggressive.”

He clenched his jaw after you said this and that was when you knew that, despite feeling shunned for not being the son his parents had wanted, Jungkook was still their son. They were still his parents.

“I was always like this,” he declared. “From the day I was born. You know that. The relationship with my family hardly changed anything.”

You wondered if he was aware he was defending his family – the family that constantly hurt him with their expectations – by shifting all blame to himself.

“They could have worked as a preventative measu—”

“How, exactly? Remember the time I gave three kids from my pre-school class bloody noses?” he said to prove his point. “Because one of them mocked my drawing of a giraffe and the other two laughed.”

“I-I remember—” you struggled to find a word, “that. It’s not an acceptable way to solve conflict. If they’d taught you that—”

“Acceptability is subjective,” he snapped.

“Uh, sure,” you said and then stopped to wonder if you had the right to draw these conclusions about him.

You thought that, if only Jungkook had gotten more love from the people who were most responsible to love him, he may have grown up to be different – but saying that out loud would have made you sound far too condescending and it would have made a normal person feel uneasy.

Someone who was as arrogant as Jungkook was bound to get riled up – he was already defensive enough as it was – and, maybe, rightfully so. He wasn’t telling you about his family to have you psychoanalyze him. He was just talking to you.

“I-I guess there are other factors that determine how a person chooses to react to something,” you said, threading more carefully now. “For example, you let your testosterone make your decisions for you.”

The sudden transition to biology confused him as he turned to look at you with furrowed eyebrows. “My testosterone?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It’s obviously your uncontrollable hormones that get you in these situations in the first place. You’re like a twelve-year-old boy, unsure what to do with himself, so you just go with whatever your instincts tell you.”

“Fourteen-year-old boy,” he corrected.

You shrugged. “What’s the difference?”

“The difference is I was fourteen when we stopped being friends.”

That only confused your further. “What does that have to do with—”

“Maybe you were the preventative measure that my family was supposed to be for me,” Jungkook said, the words pouring out as smoothly and elegantly as the floating of your skirt in the windy night. He chuckled humorlessly as he finished, “and then I lost that – the only positive influence in my life.”

You wanted to tell him that he never lost you. That he tried to rid himself of you, he tried to walk away – but he never lost you. No matter how much you wanted to detach yourself from him, to walk away, to move on – he never lost you.

And, more than that, you wanted to ask him why that happened – to demand why he walked away – but allowing him to shift the focus to your relationship would have been selfish. This wasn’t about you-and-him right now. This was about you and him.

Because you were here. You were always here. But Jungkook wasn’t – not always. Often, he fell out of touch with himself completely. And if there was no him, there could never be you-and-him.

“You… you need to be the positive influence in your life,” you said instead, advocating for independence when all you wanted was for him to let you hold his hand so he was steadier on his feet. “You can’t rely on others to get you out of the messes you create all the time.”

“I know,” Jungkook said but he no longer felt like discussing the reasons for his behavior, because every reason eventually led back to you – and when he thought of you, he couldn’t think of anything else. “But I never learned how to take care of myself, did I?”

“No, you never did,” you agreed and then, watching him smile appreciatively – you rarely ever agreed with him – you continued more playfully, “maybe it’s time you started learning, you big baby.”

He laughed and even the wind stopped to listen.

“Maybe,” he said then, the same pathetic hopeful tone that was in your voice before, now evident in his, “I do have you to help me again, don’t I?”

You do, you wanted to say, you’ve always had me. But you only smiled.

“I can’t be the one to handle your conflicts for you,” you said instead. “You have to learn how to do that yourself. How to do that responsibly. I can just… be there for you.”

And, much to the joy of your body that was aching to support him, he smiled and said, “that’s more than enough.”

“Okay,” you swallowed. You felt relieved suddenly – like the tension that surrounded you since you left the party had finally dissipated – and, paradoxically, nervous. Like you didn’t know how to act anymore.

Jungkook didn’t seem to notice that, however, as he teased, “support me even when I inevitably fuck up again, though, yeah?”

You raised your eyebrows, countering his lively pout.

“That’s not a very good attitude,” you said. “How do you expect to change if you’re setting yourself up for failure from the get-go?”

He shrugged. “By a miracle?”

“Jungkook.”

“Come on. I have you rooting for me. I won’t let you down,” he assured you and then, carelessly throwing his arm around your shoulders, added, “I am a great actor. I just have to start playing a responsible role.”

“It’s your father you’re supposed to prove your responsibility to, not me,” you reminded him – just like he’d reminded you a few days ago in your dorm room – although your skin was burning from his touch. “But I’m hoping that by pretending to be responsible, you’ll actually learn a thing or two and prove yourself to us both.”

Jungkook looked at you – his face so close and so welcoming – and said, in the most laid-back fashion that was possible for someone who’d just crossed half the campus while analyzing his childhood issues, “you’re very preachy when you’re drunk.”

It felt like you’d left the party years ago as you said, “I don’t feel drunk anymore.”

“Oh, well. That doesn’t surprise me then.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” he leaned his head against yours and the touch of your temples was electrifying -- like shock therapy that numbed every one of your senses except the ones that consumed his close presence. “I’ve missed your lectures.”

You doubted that but your voice didn’t sound convincing when you spoke – he probably wouldn’t have even heard you if he wasn’t so close, “have you, really?”

“Hmm,” he purred and your pulse nearly flat-lined. “I’ve missed everything about you.”

If you two weren’t walking so close to each other, if he didn’t have his arm around your shoulders, if his head wasn’t pressed against yours – then maybe his words wouldn’t have strummed the strings of your heart so terribly and so delightfully. Maybe you wouldn’t have forgotten all about the seven-year-long silence when you heard the song his words played for you.

But you were walking so close to each other – so close, in fact, that a passerby wouldn’t have been able to tell where your body ended and his began; you shared a silhouette.

And he did have his arm around your shoulders – pulling you closer to him while making sure you were steady on your feet even if his own balance was off.

And his head was pressed against yours – so gently and yet so naturally, it was as if there were magnets inside your skulls and they literally pulled you to one another.

And, thus, when you reached the door of your dorm room, you could not imagine yourself saying goodbye. You couldn’t imagine watching him walk away.

“Are you coming in?” you asked as Jungkook waited a few steps away, unsure how to behave now that the moment-at-the-end-of-the-night had arrived.

“I thought you said you felt like going to sleep,” he said perhaps a little awkwardly.

“I do,” you said and maybe you were still drunk without realizing it but you felt bold enough to add, “but I also feel like spending time with you in a place where... we don’t have to worry about what other people think. Not to mention, your wound needs to be taken a look at.”

“My wound?” his bruised cheekbones had completely escaped his mind. “Oh, that—it’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“At least, let me put a band-aid on it,” you asked.

“And cover up my beautiful face?” he scoffed, using his favorite strategy of dealing with problems – deflection. “No.”

You sighed. “It won’t be beautiful if it scars.”

“Are you kidding?” he still didn’t give in, bringing a hand down the side of his own face and clenching his teeth so you wouldn’t see him wince when he touched the wound. “It’ll make me look badass.”

“You’re a baby,” you declared and then ordered, “come inside.”

“Not if you’re going to be pulling your medical equipment out on me—”

Groaning, you cut him off with a reluctant – but irritated – promise, “I won’t. Now, come in.”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook checked again but he was already reaching for the door that you kept open for him.

“Yes,” you said.

He still hesitated. “Because you don’t have to—”

His uncertainty did terrible things to your boldness – it seemed to vanish with every moment that he did not enter your room.

“Look, if you’d rather get back to the party,” you said, “and drink some more of Taehyung’s painfully unbearable drinks, then, by all means, go—”

“No,” he cut in sharply – maybe too sharply – and then, just to be sure you understood why he cut you off, he said, “I’d rather be with you.”

“Well, come inside, then,” you said and, because you were nervous, you felt the need to add, “but I can’t promise to be more entertaining than absinthe.”

He snickered, finally walking past your doorway. “Oh, you have a far bigger effect on me than absinthe.”

He stopped to take his shoes off. You stopped to lock the door.

The hallway of your dorm-room was very small for two people but, locked away from the rest of the world, you suddenly felt like you were home. Like there was nothing to be nervous about here. Like you were back with your best friend that you’d known for decades.

“Ah,” you started to say because you were back with your best friend that you’d known for decades, “so it burns your throat when you get in contact with me and you feel sick every time you look at me?”

“That’s—” Jungkook paused, one sneaker off. He raised his eyes to look at you. “You really hate it that much, huh?”

“It’s a rational feeling,” you said, unbuckling the strap of your own shoes. “Absinthe is not meant to be enjoyable.”

“Well, if we’d stayed longer, you would have seen what my bandmates do with it,” Jungkook said. “It involves a cube of sugar and a whole lot of cursing because their hands shake too much to do anything.”

He hadn’t realized just how hypnotizing it could be to watch someone take off their shoes so, when you finally placed your shoes on the floor, your feet aching from the torture you’d put them through tonight, he was still staring at your legs.

You cleared your throat, somewhat self-conscious now. “I’m, uh—I’m a little intrigued.”

This got him to lift his eyes to your face. “Oh? So… does that mean there’s a little possibility you’ll go to the party with me again next week?”

“Next week,” you repeated, realizing that this was Parental Advisory’s routine: parties every Friday, hangovers every Saturday. You turned around with a soft sigh and headed into the bedroom, plopping down on your bed. “I didn’t sign up for that.”

Jungkook chuckled, sitting down on the bed next to you.

“You don’t have to come,” he said, keeping respectful distance from you – because you weren’t walking across campus anymore, now you were on a bed – but still remaining close enough to hear your faint breathing. “I was just kidding. We can stay here.”

You looked at him. “No.”

“No?” he repeated, his voice breaking in surprise. “Okay, then. We don’t have to do anything togeth—”

“No, I just mean—you like that,” you clarified before his stomach could drop any lower. “You enjoy partying, hanging out with people, drinking, dancing, and all that. I don’t want you to give that up to hang out with me here.”

You were saying you didn’t want to bore him. You were saying you didn’t want him to overstep the boundaries of your fake relationship.

He’d never heard you say something so stupid before and he didn’t realize that it was his own words that got you to feel this uncertain.

“I’m not giving anything up,” he said because, apparently, even the smartest people sometimes needed to have it spelled out for them. “I do enjoy that but I also enjoy spending time with you.”

In your defense, it wasn’t spelling out that you needed. It was reassurance.

“We haven’t done that since we were… well, in middle school,” you pointed out and your last words were an incantation of a silence spell that prevented you from saying anything else for the next few minutes.

This time was no exception, as both of you shared a thoughtful moment, avoiding each other’s eyes, and then Jungkook clapped his palms on his knees, nodding his head in the direction of your laptop on the desk across the room.

The spell was broken. You weren’t going to speak of that day. Not today.

“Well, come on, then,” he said. “We have a lot of catching up to do, it’s been seven years. Show me the movies I’ve missed.”

“Lots of movies came out in seven years,” you replied but got up from the bed to get your computer nevertheless.

“Well,” Jungkook said, dramatically extending his arm to check the non-existent watch on his wrist. “We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”

You sat back down, smiling at his antics, and pulling up your Videos folder. You scanned it briefly, trying to pick one movie that would leave a long-lasting impression on him – even though you couldn’t explain why you wanted to impress him.

“Don’t think about it,” he suggested. “Just choose the first one. We’ll watch them all.”

You scoffed. “There’s not a chance in hell you’ll stay awake through more than one movie.”

“You want to bet?” he countered, knowing your taste in movies too well. “After the movie you’ll choose, I’m sure I won’t be able to sleep for a week.”

You rolled your eyes as you smiled – he’d never grown to like horror movies as much as you did – and teased, “don’t be a baby.”

“I can’t,” he pouted on purpose, hoping for more of your sympathy and not knowing that he already had all of it. “I scare easily.”

“You don’t,” you said. “You just get distracted all the time and everything catches you unprepared.”

“That’s the same thing,” he insisted.

Sighing as you finally settled on the movie, you gave him a look. “Just try not to fall asleep on me, okay?”

“Do you mean that literally or—”

“I mean it in every sense of the word,” you replied. “If you start snoring during my favorite part, I might not be able to forgive you.”

“So strict about snoring,” he said, a mocking grin on his lips.

“I am,” you replied, completely serious. “So, now that we’ve established that—”

“We established that in second grade,” he reminded you, “when you tried to suffocate me with a pillow during our sleepover.”

“I…” you started to say but the memory was too unexpected and overwhelming – and he didn’t remember it correctly. “I tried to get you to stop snoring!”

“By putting a pillow on my face!”

“Nothing else worked!”

“You could have kicked me!”

“I did!” you said. “Several times. My feet bruised.”

He rolled his eyes, adamant to prove your murderous tendencies. “Oh, please.”

You shook your head, the argument so pointless and unnecessary that you chose to opt for a compromise. “Let’s hope that doesn’t happen tonight, alright?”

“It won’t,” he assured you, “I stopped snoring after that incident. I guess, you could say I haven’t recovered from that trauma. I’m constantly afraid someone’s going to try to use a pillow on me—”

“I wasn’t trying to do that!” you said with a groan and when he opened his mouth to protest again, you cut in quickly, “drop this or I really will suffocate you with a pillow.”

He closed his mouth again and then nodded, impressed.

“Still very strict about snoring,” he corrected his earlier statement. “I’ll keep my breathing in check.”

You finger lingered on the mouse button, ready to play the movie you’d picked, but your mind lingered on the memory he’d brought back and all the other memories that came with it. It’s already been a long night, full of reminiscing, discussing, and analyzing.

But you couldn’t resist it.

You’d wanted to know for so long – even if there was nothing to know and it was something that just happened as things sometimes did – that even the late hour couldn’t stop you.

You didn’t want closure. Seven years have gone by – you didn’t want it.

You needed it.

“Can I ask you something?” you started, swallowing slowly.

“Of course,” Jungkook said, unsure why your face had clouded all of a sudden.

“It’s been seven years,” you said and the thunderclouds started to make sense. “Why did you talk to me that night at the party?”

The question was so loaded, he probably wouldn’t have been able to answer it without reflecting on his entire life. But right now, after the night he’d had, you managed to catch him off guard and his mind was void of any answer that made sense.

“Because you were there,” he said because that was the simplest way of explaining it.

You needed more. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve…” he shifted his weight to his side until he was half-laying on your bed, his left shoulder pressed into the corner where your bed met the wall. His body was facing you but his eyes were on your hands, “I’ve wanted to talk to you for a very long time. Actually, since the day I told you we shouldn’t be talking anymore,” he paused here. He never learned how to talk about that without pausing. “Not a clever decision on my part.”

“Mm, no, not really,” you felt the bitterness in your voice as you said this but you didn’t try to justify it – and Jungkook didn’t need you to.

“Yeah,” he only nodded. “So, I don’t know. I saw an opportunity to talk to you again – and I was drunk, and sort of on a post-show high – so I took it.”

��That’s it?”

“That’s it,” he confirmed but it sounded like only one half of an answer that you needed. Jungkook didn’t know how to explain the other half and he naively hoped he wouldn’t have to. “Timing, right?”

You weren’t sure if that was right. He could tell.

“You deserve a better answer,” he acknowledged, sighing heavily, “but I don’t want to lie and make up stories about how I’d been—I don’t know—bracing myself to talk to you for a long time, how I planned it all out, because that’s not true. I did want to talk to you, I’ve wanted to every day, but I probably never would have. Not if I wouldn’t have seen you right then and there, in front of me.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t think I was in any position to seek you out,” he replied, “and, actually, I sort of got the feeling that you weren’t that excited to see me, either. Every time I saw you on campus, I’d blink, and you’d be on the other side of the street, already far away from me.”

Fair enough, you weren’t entirely blameless in this, either, you decided, and then admitted, “yeah. Maybe I was avoiding you a little.”

He chuckled. “I deserve that. I made the decision to… to stop talking to you and I knew I should have stuck with it.”

“Can I ask you something else, then?”

He knew what you were going to ask as he exhaled shakily and closed his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Why did you make that decision?” you asked, unafraid of the potentially childish connotations in your voice. You just needed to know. You’d waited for this long enough. “Why did you decide to stop being friends with me?”

Even though he hadn’t answered you yet, just getting the question out of your system felt so relieving, it was as if Sisyphus had dropped his boulder on your chest seven years ago and now, at long last, you’d rolled it off.

The boulder seemed to roll off onto Jungkook, however, as he tried to open his mouth to speak several times, but always ended up closing it again. He didn’t know where to begin.

“We… we were so different back then,” he finally said. He looked at you then and there was hope in his eyes – he wanted you to understand him without any words. “Remember?”

“From right now?” you asked. You weren’t willing to try to decipher the signals his eyes were sending you. Right now, you needed him to use his words.

“From each other,” he clarified. “You were always so focused on your studies and spent so much time working with the school staff when you were in the student council, you were essentially the de facto headmaster of our school.”

You snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Right. And I was… well, you knew me then. I haven’t changed much.”

“The troublemaker,” you said and then, almost automatically, tried to make light of the situation because he looked like he was having a hard time and you didn’t want that. “Good thing there are no more PTA meeting in college, huh?”

Jungkook laughed at this but his laughter lacked humor.

“Yeah,” he said, not sounding wistful in the slightest. He wouldn’t go back to high school even if someone paid him to do it. “There’s still the risk of expulsion even without them. That never goes away in any institution.”

“It’s what brings you to life, though,” you said, your previous discussion returning to your mind. “You love the adrenaline, the danger of doing something that might have long-lasting repercussions. You always have.”

“And you don’t,” he said sadly. “That’s why I felt like—I didn’t want to—I was bad for you.”

Your loud heartbeat momentarily halted your ability to comprehend his words. “Hmm?”

“You probably don’t know this, but,” he hesitated on the very edge of what he knew you needed to hear, “I’d overheard my parents talk about us once, after our middle school graduation.”

There it was again. The last day of your middle school.

Thankfully, this time, the silence spell didn’t linger and Jungkook continued. Actually, this time, the spell didn’t even work on him – now that he’d decided to answer your question – now that he’d found how to answer it – he couldn’t be silenced.

“And the only thing I remember from their conversation,” he said, “is my mom – who’s been on my side for as long as I could remember, standing up for me to my teachers even when they believed I was a lost cause – saying to my dad that she was afraid I was going to be the end of you.”

“What?” you asked, perplexed.

After spending almost every day with Jungkook – and his family, too – for years, you hadn’t even considered that they may have been talking about you when you weren’t there.

“She, um… she saw something between us that we didn’t, I guess,” Jungkook continued as his fingers absentmindedly toyed with the edge of your blanket, his eyes on the shredded fleece. “And she believed I would be the reason why you stopped working so hard. Why you lost your ambitions. She thought I’d turn you into someone entirely different.”

“But that’s—why would she—” all the questions you had tried to pour out of you at once.

“She saw how much we meant to each other and—”

“Yeah, but—” you cut him off and, closing your eyes for a moment to settle on just one of the many things you wished him to explain, you tried, “I mean, why couldn’t she have looked at it from a different perspective? I could have been the good influence that you needed in your life. Y-you said I was.”

“I thought you were. I still think you are. But, um…” Jungkook spoke to the fleece blanket because he couldn’t speak to you, “she… she didn’t seem to think you had it in you to resist me.”

“Resist you?” you repeated, unexpectedly offended. But that only lasted for a second before you felt it necessary to disarm yourself and stop pretending. You were absolutely devoted to Jungkook when you were growing up. “Oh, fuck it,” you said. “She probably had a point.”

Jungkook was prepared to hear your offence. He was not prepared to hear that.

“She had?” he repeated, looking at you for the first time since he started talking.

You swallowed the ball in your throat. “Yeah.”

Shakily, Jungkook concluded, “so, I made the right choice, then.”

“By putting an end to our friendship?” you asked, suddenly aware of how cold your body seemed to be, your hands especially – and painfully so, too. Dancing with the ghosts of your past proved to be difficult. “Was that for my benefit, then?”

It wasn’t the disbelief in your voice that he focused on. It was the anger.

You’d moved on. He thought you moved on – you were still the same in almost every aspect that he remembered, but you were also so different: so mature, so determined, so certain.

And he was partially right – you clearly didn’t hold a very strong grudge. But he also felt ridiculous for assuming that, despite it being so long, you wouldn’t still be angry about this now.

You’d allowed him back into your life and blessed him by not asking him to explain himself for weeks before you finally gathered the courage to do it; it was natural for you to feel angry about something that you’d waited for for so long.

“That’s… well, it was supposed to be,” he explained and then felt the need to defend his decision by saying, “that’s how everyone seemed to see it. I didn’t want you to lose the best parts of yourself because of me. And I don’t doubt that your parents were also relieved when I was no longer such a prominent part of your life.”

You had considered the possibility that Jungkook ended your friendship per the request of his parents. But you had assumed they saw you as a threat to him – even if, in retrospective, that didn’t make a lot of sense; what threat could you have possibly posed to him or the company?

Instead, it was the other way around.

Looking down, you said, “my parents weren’t relieved.”

“They weren’t?” Jungkook repeated because he couldn’t find enough words of his own.

“No,” you confirmed, remembering the not-so-distant times when Jungkook’s name was a forbidden word at your dinner table. “Hardly any parent would feel relieved to see their child cry her eyes out for days.”

Admitting this made you feel vulnerable and it would have made you feel pathetic, too, if Jungkook didn’t immediately wince after you said this – not from pity, but from his own hurt.

“I’m sorry,” he said because he had to, and because he was. And then, even though he didn’t have to, he continued, “I didn’t handle that well, either. I broke my leg in a bike accident about three weeks after we last talked.”

You frowned, focusing all of your energy into your confusion so your wet eyelashes wouldn’t release the droplets of tears down your cheeks. “Was that—”

“That’s how I deal with my emotions,” he said with a nod, confirming your guess. “That is, I don’t. I get reckless and I do stupid shit. That’s the last time I ever saw Dad’s beloved Ducati. He sold it.”

“He sold the bike?” you asked. The bike had belonged to Jungkook’s father who was a casual collector of sports cars and motorcycles – much to the joy of his underage son – but Jungkook was never permitted to drive any of them, at least, not until he was “old enough” according to his father’s standard.

“On the same day they ‘scraped my body off the pavement.’ That’s how he put it,” Jungkook said. “I only got to ride it that one time. Clearly, I’m not a natural. But dad couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to get on a bike for the first time without a helmet or any help at all. He wasn’t even looking for reasons why I did it, he didn’t ask me anything. Just sold the bike, locked up the garage, and didn’t talk to me for a week after I returned from the hospital. Actually—t-that was the first major thing that lead to me moving out of their house later on.”

You replayed his words for a long time, thinking and trying to understand.

“Why did you ask me to put this act? To play a couple for your parents?” you asked when you thought you were ready for the final cross on the last T. “If they thought you were a bad influence on me, this—seeing us back together again, could have painted you in the wrong light again.”

He didn’t think so.

“It’s been so long,” he said, “and you’re arguably the best student in your year. You’re determined and driven. And you’d rather kick my ass to the curb than give in to me and what I want. You… you affect me in ways I could never affect you. Control me in ways I could never control you. And I mean that in a good way. You are a good influence on me. And my parents can see that now.”

Obviously, he wasn’t entirely aware of how much control he still had over you, but because now you knew that this was precisely the reason why you’d stopped being friends seven years ago, you chose not to bring it up.

“I… I don’t control you,” you said.

“You do,” he disagreed. “Maybe not intentionally—actually, probably not; I’d like to think that you didn’t want me to suffer—but you do. You want to stay inside of your room, watching movies – and I want that, too. You want me to come to class and I want that, too. You want me to change and I’m changing.”

“I just—I don’t want you to kill yourself with your recklessness. But I don’t want you to be different,” you said, looking down. “I’d... always liked you the way you were.”

Your broken-up confession couldn’t have warmed his heart more. And yet, he had to point out, “I was unbearable.”

You gave him a look that wasn’t threatening at all because your eyes were still glossy from the tears.

“I know,” you said.

He smiled in spite of himself. “And you still liked me that way?”

You nodded, not saying anything else because he already knew the answer to that—and every other—question.

“I’m sorry for these seven years,” Jungkook said then and maybe that wasn’t enough to cure the wounds the years had left but it was a start. “You had a future ahead of you and I didn’t. My parents could see that but there was little they could do. I had to understand and deal with the fact that I was going to fall off the rails sooner or later myself. I was fourteen and I had to understand that. And I did. I knew that. And I also knew I didn’t want to drag you down with me. You didn’t deserve that.”

You fell into silence again.

You knew you wouldn’t have walked away from him then – anything he’d have asked, you would have given him. Any cliff he would have jumped off of – you would have followed.

To realize that Jungkook didn’t let you go because he didn’t want to be your friend anymore, or because he got tired of you, or because he didn’t care about you anymore -- or because of any other reason you tried to find over the years -- but rather, he let you go because he knew you wouldn’t, was groundbreaking.

It didn’t fix the hurt, it didn’t make it better, and, perhaps, nothing would – the years have gone by and you couldn’t get them back – but now you knew that the end of your friendship was a sacrifice of sorts.

You were intertwined together – it was you-and-him, always you-and-him – and you were comfortable living this way, both of you were. But that wasn’t right. It wasn’t healthy.

Except, you weren’t the one who had her eyes opened seven years ago – if there was no you and him, there could never be you-and-him – and so Jungkook ended up having to break out of your comfort zone, to leave your sanctuary, and walk in a different direction. On a different road.

All so you could have a road for yourself.

“I’m…” you tried to say but the tears that had welled up in your eyes were now cascading down your face and Jungkook – alert as soon as he saw that you were crying – sat up straight. “I’m fine. It’s just been a long day. Thank you for telling me.”

“I… you’re welcome,” he said, wanting to reach out and wipe the tears away but watching you do it yourself. “Although, I wish I didn’t have to tell you anything. Not just because I don’t want you to think about my mom differently after this—she always wanted what’s best for you, we both did—but also because I… I wish there had been a different way. A way where we could have kept in touch and still remained individuals.”

“Maybe there was no such way at the time,” you said. “We’d been close from the day we were born. Maybe we needed to spend some time apart to learn how to be ourselves.”

“Maybe,” he agreed but he didn’t think that was fair. “We were too close.”

“We were,” you said and couldn’t help sniffling; the tears have started to block your breathing. “Sorry, I just—it didn’t have to be seven years. I-I mean, it doesn’t take that long for people to mature.”

“No. It didn’t have to be,” Jungkook said but the fact that he agreed with you didn’t bring you much joy because his words were sad. “I have no excuse for that.”

Knowing that you could have been setting yourself up for more heartache, you still dared to ask, “would you have talked to me sooner if I hadn’t been avoiding you?”

“Probably,” he said, afraid to look at you in case he’d lose control of himself at the sight of your tears. “I-I couldn’t resist myself. But would you have replied to me?”

You looked down, making it easier for another tear to trail down your cheek. “I did that night at the party.”

Jungkook bit his lip. “Would I have seen you again if I hadn’t crashed my car?”

You inhaled sharply, not liking that this was what it came to. “No. Probably not.”

“It didn’t have to be seven years,” he said again, nodding thoughtfully, “but I think that we… started to talk again right when we had to. When it was time.”

You didn’t like that, either. “That can’t be true.”

“We’ll never know what’s true,” he said, leaning in closer to you but still not daring to reach out and touch you. “But it’s been long enough.”

“It has been,” you said, nodding and, feeling more tears coming. You sniffled, throwing your head back to fight the crying, and excused your emotions again, “it’s been a long day. It’s been seven long years.”

It’s been a long life; but you didn’t think of your years as his best friend to be draining. If anything, these were the years that made you feel alive: both of your families so close, it was like you grew up with two sets of parents, and with a soulmate for a best friend.

It’s what happened next that was a task.

Life had been pouring out in every shade of color around you when you knew him, when you laughed with him. And when you didn’t, you had to physically strain yourself to see the world in anything other than black-and-white.

You’d worked so hard to get used to the darkness of your life that the explosion of the color spectrum when you finally got to laugh with him again was almost painful. You’d grown so accustomed to monochrome that seeing colors all over again felt scary. Dangerous. Potentially hurtful.

But now you knew he never meant to take the colors out of your life. By doing so, he ended up having to sacrifice his own brightness. His own light.

Maybe what hurt the most right now wasn’t the memory of the years that you’d spent without talking, but rather the pointlessness of it all because here you were again: together. Affecting each other in ways ordinary people should not have been allowed to affect one another.

“Come here,” Jungkook finally asked, extending his arms, but you shook your head, not wanting to admit to how big the hurricane cloud in your chest was. “Come here, please.”

The insistence of his tone wasn’t what got you to move closer in the end – it was the pain in his eyes.

This had hurt him, too. He was the one who had to find a different way so he wouldn’t have to end your friendship. He was the one who eventually failed and had to say goodbye – stone you so you’d run away. Wound you, so you wouldn’t come back.

It would have hurt your pride if you didn’t love him so much.

And he couldn’t find it in himself to say how much he wanted you to come back after he told you to leave; how much he agonized over your phone number – which he’d deleted off his phone only to realize that he knew it by heart – and how much he wished he was different—better—so he wouldn’t have to stay away from you. He couldn’t find the words.

So, he just held you – like it was the first and the last time he was ever going to hold you. And he hoped that this would be enough for you to know that he knew you loved him. He’d always known.

And he loved you, too.

“I’ve missed you. Everything about you,” he whispered, clutching your body tightly against his own and sinking his face into your hair. “So much.”

Your hair grew wet – you could feel the pain leave his heart in tears – and, even though you’d seen him cry before, you’d never cried with him. But it felt inevitable now – like everything you’d done together in the past few weeks was only the prologue and tonight you were turning the page, you were starting the first chapter of the rest of your lives.

It hurt because of how long the prologue was. It hurt because of the seven empty pages.

But it felt so relieving to reach the end. So freeing.

You wrapped your arms around him tighter because you were ready to work on letting go of the pain, and you were ready to move on, and you were so happy to have him with you. You didn’t know what awaited you after tonight but that scared you much less than all that you’d already survived.

“If history repeats itself,” you said, your nose stuffed from the crying, “we’ll find a different way, right?”

Jungkook considered pulling away when you said this but that didn’t seem right. Not holding you when he could, didn’t seem right.

“We will,” he said into your hair. “I’m not leaving again.”

And he meant it – in the long run, at least. Because this night was coming to an end.

Your laptop – and the movie you didn’t get to watch – was long abandoned as you and Jungkook sat on your bed, your legs crossed and hearts open, and you talked.

You talked and the seven empty pages filled. The filled with words, written in different fonts with different colors, but they filled.

You talked and your bodies grew tired even if your minds didn’t, so you lied down on your backs next to each other, the white concrete ceiling painting itself in the colors of all that you’d missed about each other.

You talked and the hours went by – minute by minute, morning was creeping up on you.

“It’s late,” Jungkook said when your room got so dark, he couldn’t make out which bits of skin, glistening in the pale light from the street lamps outside, were yours and which were his. But even so, he remained on his back next to you. “I should probably go home. Maybe we can watch a movie tomorrow? Or next week?”

“I… I don’t have plans tomorrow,” you said and you wanted this night to keep going so badly, that if you’d been Faust, your soul would have gone straight to hell: beautiful moment, do not pass away! “Will the party be over now?”

“No, probably not yet,” Jungkook replied, “won’t be the first time I’ll be woken up by someone drunkenly smashing a bottle or something,” he said and then, when you bit your lip, clearly concerned, he added, “it’s fine. I’m used to it.”

Then, because you were not Faust and the devil had not chained your soul to the pits of hell just yet, you found a way to stop the moment as you said, “you could stay here.”

“Hmm?” Jungkook turned his head to look at you, unsure if he understood your offer. “H-how do you mean?”

“Just… stay here,” you said with a shrug as if it was that simple. Your eyes remained on the ceiling. “The RA didn’t see you come in with me. And, usually, no one smashes anything in the middle of the night here.”

“Are you sure?” he asked again. He didn’t want to go – but just like he did before coming inside earlier tonight, he didn’t want to force you into something you weren’t ready for; God knew you’d already done so much for him.

But you assured him, “yeah. You didn’t want me walking home alone, well, maybe I don’t want you stumbling around at 3 AM, either. You’d already had one fight today.”

“It’s, uh,” he checked his phone, “four-thirty.”

You gave him a look.

“But your concern is understandable,” he added quickly, catching on, “I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable with you here.”

“Okay,” he said, your gazes so intensely focused on each other, both of you were almost paralyzed as you lied side by side.

“Yeah?” you asked. “So, you’ll stay?”

“I’ll stay if you let me.”

You turned to your side, facing him. Your eyes never left his, just like his did not stray from yours. You even seemed to blink in unison.

“Stay,” you said. “I’m letting you.”

He turned to his side as well and, as his eyes fell to your lips – he could have touched them with his own if he dared to move a little bit closer – you knew you would have allowed him do a lot more than just stay here for a night.

But you’ve come a long way tonight, both literally – when you walked back here from the party – and figuratively – when you scratched the wounds until they bled because there was no other way for them to heal properly – and maybe that was enough for one night.

“Goodnight,” Jungkook whispered because you’d walked so much tonight but your road hadn’t ended yet. He didn’t dare to touch you.

“Goodnight,” you whispered back because just having him here with you after so long felt enough right now. You didn’t have to to touch him.

keep reading | masterlist

#bts reactions #bts fanfiction #bts college au #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #bts angst #college au #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #friends to lovers au #bts f2l #fanfiction #bts au #angst

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

A Cosy Night In ~ Choi Seungcheol

As you walked through the door after a long shift at work, you couldn’t believe what you saw before you. Seungcheol was sat on the sofa with a smile plastered wide across his face, standing up as you walked in to help take your coat off and settle you down on the sofa.

Your eyes took a while to take in all that he’d done, transforming your home into the perfect romantic hub. “I tried my best with what I had, I thought we could have a night in together, no distractions.”

“This is perfect, as are you,” you smiled, pressing a rewarding kiss to his lips. His hand slipped into yours as he walked you over to the sofa, decked with plenty of cushions and blankets.

“It’s been such a long time since we were able to spend a night together without work, or someone getting in the way. And I know you’ve not had it easy recently so I thought this would be the perfect chance for us to be together,” he told you.

He laid himself down first before laying you in between his legs allowing your hair to fall down the sides of his strong torso. His chin rested on top of your head as his hands laid over your chest, the two of you stared up at the chain of fairy lights he’d put around the place, old photos of the two of you clipped to complete his chain.

You couldn’t help but chuckle as you looked through them all, each one of them held a memory the two of you treasured, some represented good times, others not so good, but each one was a part of your story that the two of you would never forget about, even if sometimes you were desperate to do so.

One photo stood out to you more than any other, it was your first photo you took together at his studio late at night, both of you had had a little too much to drink, neither of you really knew where your relationship was going, but the love you had for each other was still clear in both pairs of slightly hazy eyes.

“I can’t believe you went to all this effort,” you whispered up to him.

He couldn’t lie, he was proud of himself, a lot of hard work had gone into trying to give you the perfect night off. “It was a lot of fun, looking through loads of our photos certainly gave me a chuckle too. It’s only when you sit down and see things properly do you realise how far the two of us have come.”

“I can’t believe you even found some of your pre-debut photos, honestly what were you thinking with some of those hairstyles, I don’t know what I saw in you,” you sniggered, pointing to one in particular, with a bright red do, “you looked ridiculous.”

Looking back, the two of you could only chuckle about the silly things you did, crazy looks you carried, and random things you said. Most people looked at the two of you like you were crazy, but it was true when people said you really made the perfect pair. It was impossible for people to know you without Seungcheol and vice versa, everyone knew you as the team you were.

“Eight years seem to have flown by, and yet looking at all of this it feels like we’ve done so much,” you sighed, feeling his lips press to the top of your head. “Just think how many more memories and photos we’ll be able to add to this, all the things we’ve still got to achieve.”

“Maybe we should keep it up?” He suggested, smiling as your head nodded in agreement. “I’m not just saying that because I made it, but I think it’ll be nice for us to just look over and add to, we’ll fill the whole room eventually with photos of the two of us.”

You turned in his hold so that you could look up and face him, “if this is what we have after eight years, imagine what the rest of our life will look like.”

Your future together was something Seungcheol had thought about a lot recently, a lot of those thoughts he kept bottled so not to scare you off.

“What do you think the rest of our life will look like?” He asked you.

“I want everything, marriage, kids, growing old together, all of it with you.”

“That sounds like the dream jagi, hopefully one day we’ll be able to turn them into reality.”

“I think we will, I don’t wasn’t to share these times with anyone else,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

He smiled contently as your fingers traced over his tummy, it was a habit you had since the very start of your relationship that always comforted Seungcheol, the comfort in knowing you were with him always made him happy, especially knowing now he had the rest of his life to look forward to with it.

“I brought some of your favourite snacks in the kitchen too,” he told you, sitting up with you still wrapped tightly around his chest, “the woman at the store knew I was buying for you straight away, I got all the things you usually buy for yourself.”

You refused to move leaving Seungcheol little option but to carry you into the kitchen, grabbing the bag of snacks before settling back down with you on the sofa, making sure you were comfortable settled closely against him.

As he began to talk you through what he’d bought, each packet was perfect to what you’d usually buy. You looked at him stunned, you never realised how much attention he really paid to you.

“You even got the gummies I like,” you giggled, tearing the packet open and popping one into your mouth, “maybe you listen to me more than I give you credit for sometimes.”

“See, you might think I’m not listening, but I’m always listening to you really because I care. I remember how you like your tea sweet, that you always put your left sock on before your right because you’re superstitious, all the little things,” he grinned.

“I don’t know whether it’s because of what you’ve done tonight or you look better than you ever did in those photos, but I think I’m more in love with you then I ever have been.”

He couldn’t help but coo, kissing the tip of your nose, the two of you were growing up and maturing, but so often you still felt like the kids that met in the middle of the shopping centre.

“That’s because love is exponential, with every day that passes our love for each other grows stronger as we spend more time connecting with each other and learning about each other,” he softly spoke, “and I truly believe that applies to us. I loved you yesterday, obviously, and I am so in love with you today, but I know tomorrow when I remember tonight, I’ll be even more in love with you.”

“You can tell you’re a songwriter,” you teased, cupping the side of his face, “but I think you’re right. In fact, maybe we should take a photo to put up there so we can remember the first night we shared with our new storyboard on the wall?”

He nodded, sliding his phone out of his pocket, “that’s a great idea, it can be the marker for everything else to begin from.”

“We can sit back and continue seeing how our love grows.”

---

Masterlist

#seventeen #seventeen imagine #s.coups #s.coups imagine #choi seungcheol #seventeen reaction #seventeen scenario #seventeen drabble #seventeen one shot #seventeen fluff #s.coups scenario #s.coups reaction #s.coups drabble #s.coups one shot #s.coups fluff #seungcheol imagine #seoungcheol scenario #kpop #kpop imagine

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saudade-mayari · 3 years

Note

Hello hello I wanna go to med school as well, I’m applying in 2 years!! Any tips?

Hiiii! i am proud of u. i am no expert on this but I am sharing my experiences on the past 4 years I’ve been in med school💜

—for starters, be sure you really want it. It’s okay not to have a definite plan on ur future specialization but be sure that you truly want to enter because medschool is not just time consuming but not cost efficient as well.

—im saying this based on my personal experience. i badly wanted to enter my dream med school university. so i’ll suggest you ace your entrance/admission exam to have a higher chance to be admitted on your preferred school

—there is no perfect pre med programs. what you learned in your undergrad studies is literally only it’s 20% & what you’re going to experience in med school is 80% new so apply your undergrad foundation on it

—you don’t have to be smart. it’s okay to fail. it’s okay to think u’ll give up. it’s fucking normal. (just don’t totally give up, bcoz it’s fucking worth it!!)

—one thing i truly learned in med school that it’s great to have passion to treat and learn, but it isn’t enough. passion cannot be a med student’s only hope but, a stepping stone to study hard, have a plan for present and future. expect massive amounts of adversity, but u should know how to handle adversity.

—know your study time, your body clock and such. know the time where you can completely focus and study because that will help A LOT. for my case, my morning ass self likes to study. during mornings im at my best concentration. do not forget to take a break lol.

—study ahead of time the moment your professors announce a RetDem, oral and written reválida. bcoz its damned hard and draining to the extent that you see ur fellow students crying on the hallways. it’s hilarious and scary at the same time. moral dilemmas. i repeat, moral dilemmas 😂

—have friends. you won’t survive med school without your peers that for sure. they literally play a big role on each other’s sanity.

—im not going to be tired on saying this but be mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually prepared. you’ll literally digest an every day basis of quizzes, reválidas, retdems, lab exercises all in one day. even the breakdowns has its time limit. you can literally cry for only 2 mins and continue functioning coz you have a next quiz hahahahahahaha!!!

—ask your profs, classmates, juniors, seniors, interns or even clerks and attending physician if you don’t understand a thing, ask them. that’s so important 💜

—no one will judge you if you want to achieve higher and be competitive as long as you don’t step on other ppl in a sense that it would be completely offensive.

—its okay to have bad days and take a leave but upon clerkship, be sure to have good belly when u treat your patients. the amount of concentration and patience is highly acknowledged.

—being an M.D won’t stop u from learning. after clerkship, general practitioner, residency (which is where i am rn) learning just doesn’t stop.

—lastly, enjoy. it may be hard but its worth it and enjoyable. entering med school is my best decision i ever did so far. One day you’ll realize you badly [expletive] want to be a doctor.

welcome to the science of saving lives. 💜✨

#luna.personal

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moonlight--cafe · 2 years

Text

@just-a-random-shawol

Hello again! I feel like calling you “old friend” but that would be kind of weird but I just love doing ships for you and I always have the best ideas for your aesthetics! I was actually able to complete this one pretty quickly, I had a good idea of what to do for you. I hope this achieved what I hoped it would, by that I mean that I hope it exceeds the previous ships I have done for you. I hope you have a great day and thank you again for sending in so many requests, it really has been a pleasure!

Also I got so carried away with the boyfriend section, I am so so sorry it’s so long 😬

~Your Company~ Starship Entertainment

~Group Name~ Solstice

~Members~ 5

~Debut Date~ 22nd of December, 2018

~Pre-Debut Days~

First I want to preface this by saying that it isn’t impossible to earn a place as a trainee under Starship. However, they are extremely particular about the trainees they select. Most companies are like this but Starship takes their idols seriously, they only select trainees who have a particular style and carry themselves in a proud, strong way. Even if you aren’t the loudest personality-wise you still need to show everyone how loud your unique nature is, it’s a classic case of the “prove to us that you are special” mentality.

I know that was quite a buildup but don’t worry you were indeed accepted as a trainee, I’m not just saying this to get on your good side but you would be such a distinct performer. I think that sometimes you tend to underestimate yourself, or at least overlook the abilities that you have. Becoming a trainee under Starship would do wonders to boost your confidence, the way they handle you as trainee would definitely show. You would improve so incredibly fast, it would seem that you were in the right place.

This relates to what I just said, your talent is pretty potent. See it as you hold all of the elements that combine to make a star, it’s just a matter of using these elements in a more controlled manner. This is why you were a trainee for four years, you were one of the idols who started training quite young. Those four years seemed to drag on, you were becoming increasingly antsy, you just wanted to debut! But the fact that the preparation took as long as it did pretty much set you up for success.

As a trainee you were initially more quiet, you’re not necessarily shy you are just more determined. You were polite enough to your peers, but you also knew why you were there. Despite your age you were very self-aware and open about your goals, you didn’t find it necessary to hide your motives from the other trainees. They were all there for a similar reason anyways so why be all secretive about it?

Your honesty was actually a pro, people always knew what they were getting from you, so there wasn’t really a chance that you would ever be false or stab them in the back. This resulted in some very strong relationships with many of your peers.

It was actually a pretty emotional lead up to you finally debuting, you were adamant that you wanted to debut but you were actually a little scared. You were finally certain that you weren’t dreaming and that you would become somewhat of a star, the fear came from the idea of not meeting the expectations that were set for you. You didn’t have to worry about that though, you just had to have confidence in yourself and after finding that you were able to take the world by storm.

~About You~

~Your Position~ Leader, Lead Dancer and Sub-Vocalist

Solstice seems like your average girl crush themed group, your group still tend to stand out though. If you look under the surface that’s where your group truly shines. A lot of work goes into Solstice. The lore behind your group is meaningful, the name Solstice refers to the winter solstice. Your group represents evolution and acts as the onset of the future to come. As the leader you essentially aid in refining the groups image, using your very creative thinking you make sure to include the personalities, thoughts and styles of your other members in whatever songs, live stages and music videos your group has.

I only reserve this compliment for certain people, anyways if this group was real (I mean it is real in our imaginations right?) you would be my bias, that’s how it is for most people who are introduced to your group. You are one of the common biases, I mean why wouldn’t you be? You have your designated positions but you could easily take over for other members if you needed to. This is what makes you a great leader, you are always there for the other members and you really push through the odds and help your group to succeed.

Relating to what I said about you literally applying to every kpop position under the sun, you are often mistaken for being literally everything else. You could easily be a visual, the face of the group, the main dancer, lead vocalist and main vocalist. This is what a lot of fans admire about you, you are a jack of all trades yet you remain very humble and stay in your lane, so to speak. You are just a genuinely chill person, like you don’t ever come across overbearing with your stage presence and vocals. You have somehow maintained a medium where you don’t overshadow anybody yet you don’t fade into the background, you are a solid member of the group and you will never have to fight to prove yourself.

You are one of the members who is commonly off in their own world, that has become your character trope of some sort. You aren’t off with the fairies or anything, you just seem to gift everyone with a perspective that is different to their way of thinking. You give the impression that you view the world in a different way, this relates to your interactions with your fans. You tend to get very busy as the leader, you don’t get to hang out with your fans on v-live as much as you want to (this was especially relevant when your group had first debuted) but when you have a solo v-live it just means so much to your fans. You are a mood-lifter, you have a calming presence surrounding you. You also give some very valuable advice, you know how to read the room when it comes to your fans. 9 times out of 10 you say something that just really matters to many of them.

You are one of the more socially progressive idols, you are actively pushing the boundaries of what the industry considers as “normal”. You are giving people the idea that female idols can still be elegant and attractive without sexualisation, you also carry the positive ideology that people are the most beautiful when they are expressing themselves. You are an advocate for people being true to themselves, you don’t care too much about the beauty standards imposed by society. You prove time and time again that you are human too, you silently remind people that you are merely living life with them. This shows more when you go public with your boyfriend, you show people that idols are able to fall in love and experience innocent love.

~Debut~

~Debut Song~ Universe:Reversal in the style of Snapping by CHUNG HA

Other Songs Include:

Out the Way in the style of favOriTe by LOONA

Bubble Bath in the style of BIRTHDAY by Somi

neverland.exe in the style of THRILL RIDE by The Boyz

~Debut Album~ Meet Me In Neverland

~Stage Outfits~

~Relationships~

~Best Friend~ Nako (Iz*One/HKT48)

Okay, this friendship is such a special one. Yeah, both of your fans acknowledge how ideal and pleasant your friendship is, however, it’s Nako who dotes on this friendship and finds great comfort in what the two of you have. There is alot that you connect over, the fact that you both debuted in 2018, the fact that you both like going out to eat at the same restaurants etc...

Apart from the many commonalities, your friendship is known for the contrast between your deep-thinking, almost motherly nature and her cute and innocent personality. Though your friendship is fairly public there are some parts of it that the two of you keep private . Nako was very young when she entered the entertainment industry, first it was acting which eventually involved into kpop. Due to this she was always around people that were older than her, this somewhat enhances the character trope that she has adopted. Despite this she still holds a striking sense of maturity, this is often overlooked since she is normally an observer.

You are a very open and intelligent person, this goes so well with Nako’s personality. You are a very genuine friend which she really appreciates, she just feels so safe being in your presence. Another aspect of your relationship that many admire is the fact that the two of you really pick each other up, even if you reside in different countries you still make sure to stay close to each other. When Iz*One disbanded you played a key role in supporting her, you were there to cheer her on. Things like this wouldn’t go unnoticed by Nako she would always repay the favour through really adorable acts of kindness, the two of you have such a strong friendship, it definitely falls into the category of being a lifelong one.

~Friends~ Namjoon (BTS), Wonwoo (Seventeen), Yeosang (ATEEZ), Irene (Red Velvet), Kai (Exo/SuperM) , Ningning (AESPA), Sorn (CLC) and AleXa

~Boyfriend~ Taeyong (NCT)

Taeyong absolutely loves you.

That’s it this section is done.

No but seriously Taeyong had severely underestimated how much he would come to love you. This is kind of a 180 considering that he was pretty certain that he wasn’t going to fall in love with an idol yet or have a public relationship, but that’s just how the world works. In unexpected ways. Your relationship is extremely strong, when people see you together it further proves that you are the best person for Taeyong.

It was a pretty “out of the blue” type relationship. You were an avid fan of SuperM, at this stage it was becoming part of your character. You just spoke of them with so much admiration, you had respect for all of them and used them as a sense of motivation. There were a lot of inside jokes surrounding your love of SuperM, most of these jokes were shared between you and your members. So it was safe to say that when you found out that you and your group would be collaborating with SuperM, you felt like you were going to faint.

Most of your collaboration was held over zoom until you could find a time to record in the studio together, the two groups could have easily recorded their lines and combined them in the studio but for both songs you and Baekhyun had come to the conclusion that you would achieve a better result if both groups were present. This applied to the music videos too, you heard me right videos plural, you were recording two songs and making two music videos for said songs.

You had officially met Taeyong in the studio, he was present on the videocalls but he never really said too much. During that time you honestly couldn’t tell if he was disinterested or just shy, straight off the bat it was giving “enemies to lovers” and that confused you because you didn’t really know him. Anyways in the studio he was still quiet, reading the room it was obvious that something was up with him. You didn’t focus too much on that, you didn’t want to force him to speak if he really didn’t want to. Luckily for you Baekhyun, Kai and Taemin pretty much gravitated towards you instantly. Baekhyun was already very palsy walsy with you, Kai felt comfortable about you and Taemin was starstruck.

Many had expected you to date Taemin or Baekhyun, it was obvious that they were interested in you. Taemin holds that mysterious, legendary aura so the fact that he was clearly interested in you was kind off odd in your opinion. Hell, even Taeyong assumed you would end up dating Taemin. As you could already tell you started dating Taeyong, yeah he was rigid and closed off for the most part but he did start warming up to you. Over time he began doing very small deeds that made your heart skip beat like a young school girl. It ranged from holding the door open for you and flashing you a polite smile to offering to buy you lunch to giving you his little electrical fan and an extra water bottle he had when you were filming one of your music videos.

It turns out that Taeyong had been in awe when he first saw you fiddling with the sleeve of your turtleneck sweater, he just didn’t know how to show you that he kind of liked you. To prevent him from fumbling over his words he just didn’t speak at all, he was also a little disheartened when he saw the way both Baekhyun and Taemin looked at you. He didn’t have that much confidence at the time, Baekhyun is a kind, funny and humble leader and Taemin is a literal star. When comparing himself to them he didn’t feel like he would ever win you over, especially since his silence came across as a bit off putting.

The two of you never officially asked each other out either, it just happened. You were both on set for the last day of filming, he most likely would never see you again and that thought left a pang in his heart and a sour taste in his mouth. Even though he felt so hurt about this he still didn’t want to say anything to you, the two of you were filming a scene together. There was nothing remotely romantic about it, or so he told himself, it was actually supposed to be very romantic. He sat on a polished gold and cream ballroom floor, a futuristic chandelier was suspended above the two of you, the rainbow slivers of light danced across your face as you rested your head on his lap.

There was no tension whatsoever until he subconsciously traced the light with his thumb, that caught your attention causing you to look up at him and before he knew it he was leaning in and placing a soft kiss on your lips. Surprisingly no one had noticed since they were walking in and out trying to lug the rest of the camera equipment into the makeshift ballroom. Realising what he had done he tried to rapidly fix his mistake and pull away, but you stop him and pull him down for another kiss. When everyone had returned they had no idea why Taeyong had a glazed over look on his face and a light blush coating his cheeks.

That was the official start of the two of you dating, like I said you didn’t even have to confirm it with each other you just knew you were dating. It also didn’t take long for your relationship to become public, it wasn’t leaked by dispatch either. You had discussed it with Taeyong, SM and Starship and since they didn’t want to risk losing their star talents or breaking up the relationship thus effecting their idols performance they had okayed your relationship. Honestly that’s how it should be, Taeyong doesn’t have to hide how much he loves you and that’s how it will always be.

~Crushing on You~ Rowoon (SF9)

Ironically Rowoon’s crush somewhat resembles your love of SuperM, when he had discovered Solstice he felt like he had strucksome sort of gold. He was like “Hey! That group is awesome”. He had so much respect for the group as a whole, that’s where he essentially fooled himself and the rest of SF9. He had assumed that the reason he was so into Solstice was because he was a hard working idol, he was merely inspired by your group to do the best he could.

Actually no, that’s not what was going on, his little journey of supposed group and self-improvement was actually a covert crush, specifically on you. It took him a very long time to realise that the butterflies he felt when he saw you perform was the result of an intense crush, he is very secretive of this crush though. When he watches you perform at award shows he will give a pleasant smile and cheer along, he didn’t really feel that it was appropriate to act on his crush. Especially when it was announced that you were now in a happy relationship with Taeyong, it was just never the right moment.

He respects you a lot, that initial respect that he had for you and your leadership skills is still there but he also happens to like you a lot. He wouldn’t even want to tease the idea or indulge in the idea live, he doesn’t want the world to know that he likes you. If he were to ever meet you he would still be respectful and make sure to tell you to your face that you are one of the best leaders he has ever had the pleasure of meeting.

~Other Idols Crushing on You~ Vernon (Seventeen) Woozi (Seventeen), Taemin (Shinee/SuperM), Kang Daniel, Jooheon (Monsta X), Baekhyun (EXO/SuperM), Sanha (ASTRO), Sunghoon (Enhypen) and Jaehyun (N.Flying)

~Extra Info~

This is a very obvious thing but you and Taeyong push through the antis and prove that your relationship is extremely strong, you are both essentially the poster children for healthy relationships between idols.

Adding on to the above point you and Taeyong release a song, you sing and he raps. Additionally you also start the song with a couple dance break, you are both such strong performers and softies when you get off stage it is absolutely precious.

You collaborate with the clothing brand Hyein Seo to create your own line of casual-formal street clothes.

You work up a reputation of sort for supporting movements and donating money, your support of feminism helps create a great deal of change in the industry as a whole.

You become a mentor on a new Starship Entertainment idol program, you become infamous for being the wise, well-spoken mum of the mentor panel.

~Scandal~ It’s not so much a scandal, it’s more like an odd rumour? To keep it short people thought you had to have surely sold your soul for a chance at being a successful idol, as proof people mention your fascination with aspects of occultism....yeah it’s not true.

#era 1 #kpop ships #kpop matchups #idol life ships #elegant glitter aesthetic #izone #hkt48 #yabuki nako #nct #superm #lee taeyong #sf9 #rowoon #kim seokwoo #Spotify

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carinyms · 3 years

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We're three days from the Loki finale and I’m back to spout more meta and theories about episodes 5 & 6! It’s a long one (again.)

I really enjoyed episode five. People have complained that they felt it didn't do much to move the show forward, but one of the things I've loved most about this show is the time it takes to sit with the characters and learn about their backstory, their feelings. (I'm always a little bugged when critics say that an episode hasn't done enough to move the plot forward, because without adequate character development, why should I care about the plot?) I thought the pacing of it was really well balanced.

….and I have never been so nervous for a finale in my entire life. There’s a lot of reasons.

The first is just the fact that I’ve been waiting for this show for a whole year, and the anticipation and excitement of it literally helped get me through the pandemic--so when those final end credits roll I’m going to be a whole mess no matter what happens. (I really hope the rumors floating around about season two are accurate) I also just feel like it’s somewhat inevitable that this is our final farewell to Tom’s Loki, and like—I’ll never be ready, but especially right now, amidst all the rampant controversy around this show, I’m just not ready to deal with that. I have a *small* modicum of hope that this won't be the case, but it feels unlikely. Anyway, guess I’ll die.

I really want this show to stick the landing, so to say. I loved the last episode, but a lot of the response has been that it felt like a lull in the plot. I want this show to end in a satisfying bang so it can get the credit it deserves.

Also I’m a whole hypocrite eating my words from last week—I’m fully on-board with Loki/Sylvie now (not that I was ever really against it)--I’m not sure why I’m surprised. They’re so adorable and wholesome, and I’m in love with seeing Loki in love. It’s so precious. (Just as a PSA, if you’re not into them that’s chill, and you’re allowed to dislike a ship without trying to justify your opinion by labeling shippers as morally problematic. Selfcest isn’t a real thing, therefore there isn’t a moral high ground to stand on here. Okay? Okay.) Wherever it ultimately leads, their relationship is still a really sweet exploration of them both growing and learning how to love themselves and trust others. Also, them cuddling under a tablecloth is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen with my two eyes.

MY THEORIES:

I love Sylvie so much, SO MUCH — and she is 100% going to stab Loki in the back by the end of the next episode. I don’t think the betrayal is going to stick, and by the end they’ll both be on the same page again, but the conversations on trust have been way too one-sided for my comfort. If nothing else she's going to seriously consider it. Here’s one way I can see that going. Spoiler alert: it hurts.

Sylvie betrays Loki at one point—and we see Loki’s growth and arc come full circle as, even after being betrayed by the person he hinged his entire development around, he still believes in doing the right thing, in saving her regardless. It ends in a heart-wrenching self-sacrifice of some kind, and his actions serve as the catalyst for her full development as well. We keep seeing different versions of Loki die for their ‘glorious purpose’, just like how Classic Loki shouts the phrase as he was consumed by Aloith (RIP King, I love you).

Loki has already called Sylvie his glorious purpose (or inferred it). There’s been backlash around him saying that, but the way I see it, it’s less “I’m obsessed with this girl she’s my purpose now” and more “I believe that she’s the best version of us and I’m going to make it my purpose to help her succeed and be what the rest of us aren’t”. That’s why seeing all the other variant Loki’s at their worst in the Loki clubhouse (? what do I call this lol) only fuels him more to find her. I think about what Mobius told him: “You exist to cause pain and suffering and death, all so others can achieve the best versions of themselves”. I don’t think Loki truly believes he can be the best version of Loki — I think he saw Sylvie and thought, "it's her". He’s decided he’s going to help her achieve the best version of herself, but he'll do it giving her love and trust and devotion, rather than through betrayal, pain and suffering. He’s re-writing his pre-determined role, in his own small way. I’m so proud of him.

So who’s behind it all and what’s truly going on here? (This isn’t really one theory, more like a string of possibilities and I don’t really know how they’d fit together.)

I still think it’s another version of Loki. And if it is, I can’t help but appreciate the connections between his position dictating the end of time in the show in relation to Loki’s role in the Norse myths, where he’s the catalyst for the destruction of all things. It feels relevant, considering the whole idea that ‘the end of time hasn’t been written yet’ has come up twice now. That would be a fascinating tie-in to the mythology. (Also—Alioth looks like a giant dog. And Fenrir’s role in Ragnarok was devouring the world—I realize this is a reach but am I the only person seeing this connection?) The thing I really can’t predict is the motivation. What would cause a Loki to want to prevent Loki’s from changing? Was there something that happened in the sacred timeline this Loki is trying to preserve? (I also like the idea of us maybe seeing another version of Sylvie behind it all, but I’m just going to leave that rabbit hole alone. )

But here’s the theory I can’t stop thinking about. There’s a theory floating around tik tok (by user twelvepercentcredit) saying the ‘castle’ we see beyond Alioth looks like a place called the House of Ideas, something that appeared in a (discontinued?) Loki comic. Here’s the wiki page on it. Just looking at the imagery of this compared to the location we’re seeing in the trailers, it’s too similar to be a coincidence. The huge bookshelves, the towering ceilings.

Here’s a description from the wiki:

“The House of Ideas is also home to a library which archives the exploits of every hero who has ever existed in the form of books, written unconsciously by the collective minds of their believers. This collection is curated by Now and Then, two of the children of Eternity. Now and Then routinely seek out heroes to bring into the House of Ideas to bargain with them and give their collections more pages, therefore more time for adventures and exploits. “

And later on the page on how Loki ties in:

“Heeding the desire in Loki's heart to do more with his life, Now and Then approached Loki and brought him to the House of Ideas,[5] where they struck up with him the deal to give more pages to his collection of exploits, rewriting the Books of Loki with a hero's stories in exchange for an eventual hero's death.”

Are they gonna play with the exact happenings of this? I don't know, but it sounds pretty cool!

It would be gutsy to go this route with the show given how meta it is, but I love the idea of it. Would they put characters that embody the abstract ideas of “Eternity” “Now & Then” into the show in the last episode? I’m not sure. Something I could see as a possibility though is an alternate version of Loki having overthrown whoever was previously guarding the timeline, and Loki and Sylvie will have to take them down in turn, thus ‘releasing’ the multiverse to its default, chaotic state.

What if our Loki’s ultimate destiny, ultimate Glorious Purpose, is to release the timelines--restoring all the variants back to their original timelines--and remain in this place for eternity, guarding the timeline and ensuring the multiverse is allowed to exist in its natural state? It seems a pretty fitting role for the God of Chaos. It would also explain why whoever’s behind the TVA would be so desperate to eliminate all variant Loki, if that was his ultimate destiny.

It would be an effective way to remove Hiddleston’s Loki from the movie-verse without killing him, AND place both Sylvie and any other Loki variants back in the the main timeline for use in future films—which we know has to happen somehow, because Young Avengers is definitely happening, and Kid Loki has got to get out of the void somehow.

And yea, this outcome would hurt like a bitch. Because even though that would truly be a lovely glorious purpose for our Loki, he’d be alone. And the whole point of this show is that he doesn’t have to be alone! It would be a very poetic sacrifice for him to take on the burden of watching over the timelines alone for all eternity so that his other variants could be the best versions of themselves, but I really just want him to be happy. I will be crying my eyes out if this happens. I’ll be proud but I won’t be okay.

And this all is probably speculative nonsense and could go off in an entirely different direction. Who knows. All in all, I just really want to see Loki fully believe in himself and his ability, to truly absorb what he said about being stronger than he realizes, and to take control of his destiny.

WHAT I WANT (NEED) FROM EPISODE 6:

Let Hunter B-15 and Mobius team up to burn the place to the ground. She was nerfed in the time-keeper fight, I want to see B-15 kick some ass.

I kind of want Ravonna to escape and be a character that carries over into the films for her tie-ins with Kang? I want to see more of her.

Give Loki a new badass costume. I’m begging. If he’s gonna go down, he deserves to go down in something other than khakis.

And then I want to see him and Sylvie fighting side by side in matching outfits.

I want a Mobius-level hug between them. Or a kiss. Or both. But I want the hug more. And you know what? I want her to initiate the hug or kiss or whatever it is because I want Loki to experience receiving love and affection from others as much as giving it. He deserves it ok??

I expect Mobius on a jet ski in the post credits and if I don’t get it I riot

@marvel these are my demands.

As always, if you've made it this far I'd love to hear your thoughts!

#these just keep getting longer and longer #next week you can expect a full novel #loki #loki show #loki series #loki meta #loki show meta #loki series meta #loki theories #loki show theories #loki show positive #loki spoilers #loki series spoilers

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theowriteswhatever · 4 years

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Zuko Story With No Title Part 13

Hey guys! This is the last of my pre-written chapters, so I might not update my story everyday anymore. I really appreciate all the support and I still plan to update in the future, just not so often. I’ve been kinda uninspired lately, but I will continue for you guys! Thanks so much for all the support and have a great day!

-Your pal, Bubbles

Everyone had decided today was a beach day and that we should take a day to relax. But considering the comet was just around the corner, I decided to keep training. I stayed back in the courtyard and practiced my moves with the fountain water.

I waved it back and forth to get a feel for how it flowed between my palms before I started actually using it for special moves.

I first made a whip and started to crack it on the gray stone floor which caused some of the stone to split open. I started to wrap it like a lasso around various objects and pull them towards me before slicing them in half with the quickly transforming water. I then practiced using it as a shield, a rope, and even a grappling hook. I put all my energy and focus into every move I made so I could feel as prepared as possible for the upcoming battle. I knew that no matter what I did, I wouldn’t truly be ready. But I could certainly try to feel like it.

“You’re going to overwork yourself, you know?” I heard Zuko ask from over my shoulder. I turned around to see him leaning against a nearby pillar trying to look cool.

“Says you?” I asked with a chuckle. He rolled his eyes and let out a small huff. “You’re the king of overworking yourself. Or should I say prince?” His lips flattened and he crossed his arms while dramatically avoiding eye contact. “But it doesn’t take much, does it? Free a sky bison and suddenly you’re deathly ill.” He started to walk away and I laughed. “Zuko!” I yelled after him. “I’m just messing with you.” But he didn’t stop.

He wasn’t getting away that easily. I turned my water back into a lasso and threw it forward to wrap around his waist. Once he got over the initial shock of being trapped by a string of water, he just grumpily went along with it. As I slowly pulled the rope to bring him back, he just slowly walked backwards with it.

Once he finally got back to me, I turned him around and laughed at his unappreciative expression.

“This isn't fair. You can't force me to listen to your teasing” He said with a small somber pout.

“Yet here we are.” I continued with my ruthless teasing and he tried to wiggling out of the water whip, but he still couldn’t.

“Let me go!” He was practically whining at this point. I laughed a little bit more before finally letting the water loose. “Thank you.” He said before turning to leave again.

“I tease you out of love, you know that.” I called after him. He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. It took me a second to realize why and when I did, I felt my face slightly flush red.

“What was that?” He asked me as he slowly approached me, by choice this time.

“You heard me, pretty boy.” I said with a confident smirk on my face.

“You love me?” He asked as he started to tower over me with his same serious expression. He looked almost angry, but I could tell that it was all in good fun. I nodded as he came even closer and looked down at me. We stood there and had a familiar stare off for several seconds before I leaned forward and pecked him on the lips.

He was always shocked when I kissed him without warning, even though I did it regularly. He just never got used to it I guess. He was pretty adorable when he stood there frozen in shock.

“Maybe just a little.” I said as I held up my hands and acted as if I was pinching something. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him, almost knocking me off my feet, but that didn’t stop me from teasing him. “But you don’t have to say it back. I know your heart belongs to Sokka.” I joked at which his face scrunched up in disgust. “I’m just saying that that fishing trip note was awfully suspicious. . .” I continued at which his face went red in regret.

“You’re the worst.” He said quietly, still tightly holding my waist close to his.

“I know you are, but what am I?” I asked. He rolled his eyes and let out a chuckle. I had finally cracked him and I was very proud of my minor achievement. “Oh right! I’m your cool awesome girlfriend and you’re the grumpy pouty baby.” I continued with my bottom lip poked out to mock him.

“I’m not a baby.” He whined.

“You’re right. Babies whine less than you do.” His face went red and I could tell I was actually making him angry. I laughed at him and his face just got redder.

“I’m gonna kill you.” He threatened.

“I’d like to see you try.” He held my waist closer and his expression got even more stern. I broke free of his grip and started to run away. He was shocked for a few seconds but then started to chase after me. I turned back to see him aggressively running at me and I let a laugh slip out at how unreasonably angry he was.

I had nearly cornered myself after a while and Zuko was getting close, but I couldn’t give up this quickly. I reconjured my water rope and strung it to the top of a pillar. I pulled myself up to the roof and then put the water back so Zuko couldn’t follow me.

“Hey no fair! You can’t use waterbending!” He pouted at which I laughed. I decided I probably should go a little easier on him so I jumped off the roof and landed gracefully on my feet in front of him.

“You really are a baby.” I teased. He continued to pout and I smiled at his adorableness. “But I love you anyways.” I said gently before I leaned forward to kiss his pout away.

“I love you too.” He said quietly as if he was afraid someone would hear and judge him for saying it. God forbid he lost his cool boy persona in front of anyone except me.

I grabbed his hand and led him slowly out of the courtyard and down to the beach. Our friends were still playing in the water and crafting on the sand as Zuko and I sat down together on the golden ground. I leaned my head on his shoulder and kept my hand on his as we watched our friends relax before the inevitable storm would arrive from just around the corner.

@vintageroses1014516 @aphrodites-perfume @rintheemolion @expecto-patroni @akariblue @shephard17895 @leslieanahid @sweet-dolans @duh-dobrik

#zuko x reader #zuko story #zuko imagine #zuko story with no title #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla x reader

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blankdblank · 4 years

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Brother Dearest Pt 21

Bags settled back into his usual bedroom Erik was off to go fishing with James and Victor while you changed listening to Eddie about his first day. “I didn’t realize just how much I missed school. It is nothing really like high school, it’s all on you. You decide to go to class, take notes and do the assignments and you get the results for how hard you push at it. All with people from everywhere.” His eyes locked on yours when you came back buttoning your trousers over your comfy t shirt you had tucked in, “I missed you though, and Teddy terribly. I can’t wait for you to get to Barnard and see what you can do there. I know you’ll be incredible.”

“So will you, future reporter,” making him smile at you in return.

“How was today?”

“Good, bit slow, town seems to like Erik, looks like he can earn a bit for savings through his stay.”

“That’s good, I’m glad he’s getting along so well out here. I think he could be incredible too, seems to have your mind. Could be a great team if he picks the same path.”

“Yes, then he can lay the ground work and I can squeak in behind him.”

“There will be no squeaking for you. I know you, and you leapt through a tank. I will never forget that, charged right at it, tore a hole in it and slammed it shut behind you, you do not squeak in behind anyone. They will move or be torn apart.”

“You really think anyone will listen to me or take me seriously when my greatest achievement over the being the only woman to win the Medal of Honor is to walk down the aisle?”

“It is never who’s gonna let you, but who is gonna stop you?”

Again you were grinning and laid down beside Teddy who was napping you inched closer to and kissed his cheek, “One thing’s for sure, he’s never gonna be like them.”

Eddie shook his head, “Not a tick. Not a moment, everything is going to change and he’s going to be a part of it. All our munchkins are.”

“I think orange sherbet,” Looking over the pictures of rooms with test patches of paint for each the brothers and Erik gave agreeing nods to while Eddie seemed a bit distracted. “Then maybe the periwinkle for here?”

Eddie sighed out, “Dawn likes periwinkle.”

Victor smirked, “Whatcha got there, Eddie?” Looking at the hand wrapped around something that Eddie was clearly mulling over.

Eddie looked up and said, “Well, Dawn and I have been doing well with our date nights, and, my cousin came up, brought this.” You all looked at the rectangular emerald wrapped in diamonds with a matching two criss crossing wedding bands coated in diamonds as well. “Caught her looking at something similar back when Bunny had those Bridal magazines at the diner. Made sure to leave them out by me on lunch with Dot sighing out how Daisy likes emeralds over rubies. Tapped into funds from the comics and savings from working through the rebuild. It’s fast-,”

Victor chuckled and James said, “It’s almost June, we’ll be in Alberta for the D-Day reunion and Mid July we will be back in Brooklyn. I am surprised she hasn’t drug you to the courthouse by your hair yet.”

Victor, “She loves Teddy, the puppies are almost here, and you have to get some input for furniture as well since she is moving with us, even David and their father has expected her to.”

James, “You have asked for her father’s permission?”

Eddie nodded, “Of course. Well, I stammered something of the sort, but he did give me credit on writing out a five page speech he read then agreed to my asking. Only, well, I think Dawn knows.”

You giggled, “Of course she knows.”

Eddie, “I want it to be special, like yours, but not like yours to make her feel like I’m unimaginative.”

James smirked saying, “You could try a scavenger hunt.” That had Eddie’s brow inching up.

Victor, “When she was little couldn’t get enough of them. I’m sure we could help to keep her distracted, you plan a trip to the gazebo where her grandfather proposed after building it.”

Eddie nodded, “She mentioned that,”

James and Victor replied, “Just mentioned?”

You giggled and Erik said, “Even I have been told the tale five times since arriving.”

The plan had been formed and an obscure list of tasks were subtly scattered around town. A request to borrow this, someone to trade for that. A helping hand to move something and with a message left for another person sure to spread around a distracting tidbit keeping Dawn off guard. Mention Eddie was helping with a fence would put her off guard having assumed all that was planned was a dinner the night before his graduation ceremony she had picked a nice dress pattern for something new to wear for it. Halfway through her shift though an entering gossiper would share the story. Leading her over to another’s house, planting her right in the path to help another neighbor with a pre set errand.

While you, James, Victor and Erik worked on recovering your mother’s old chair that had taken a week to mend back to new plushy status perfect for reading in by replacing nearly all of the worn out wood and padding, Eddie went to fetch Dawn who blushed furiously noticing finally how late she imagined she was for their dinner plans. Mention of a request her mother had made to drop by to check something for her however had her delivered unknowingly to the right place and time. Guiding her back to the lit up gazebo that just about had her in tears keeping his stammering question distracted from enough to have her crash into his chest knocking him on his back an answer of a kiss. David and Daisy elatedly snapped pictures and kept watch of Teddy as Eddie took Dawn off to dinner in town to show off her ring.

Walking on air he returned home and you readied the plans to have another body for the drive to Alberta in the morning. Where your big day was set for nearly a year out, they had hoped for something much sooner. Already she had stayed over twice after having fallen asleep helping to sit up with Teddy in his first rounds with teething and had been offered a room of her own to keep with their choice to wait to even cuddle in bed till after the wedding. For Dawn simple was always what she wanted, and the week after next the date had been set. Everything was mainly potluck, and she already had her dress, though to wait out a storm for the reception in the barn, where the Judge from the courthouse had agreed to move his service to officiate as he normally did in the lack of a Priest for the church, two weeks was agreed.

Already a father and well into an internship with a stack of articles he was given to research and turn in Eddie was ready to get married. Head over heels in love with Dawn since he first met her and ready for their future together, one she wildly had agreed to venture outside of their safe bubble to brave the wild New York to be with him as he and the others supported you. It seemed even Erik had planned to one day join you there and educate himself further, part of the plus for earning these funds to save up for it.

“The glue should be dry.” James stood after checking his watch breaking your cuddling position in the grass under the sun. For hours you had been working with Erik on both practicing your powers. Tossing metal chunks back and forth you warped into various shapes between bouts of levitating yourselves up into trees or over fallen logs in a sort of obstacle course in the woods the brothers laughed calling out more of the course to spread the game even more as they scampered up behind you both.

Victor reached out helping Erik up while James helped you to your feet, the former saying, “Let’s go finish our tables and that should be it on furniture.”

Erik said with a smile, “I think I am starting to like building.”

Victor chuckled patting him on the back, “Always good to have a hands on hobby.”

Erik looked up at him, “You aren’t going to say I should be a builder?”

Victor, “Do you want to be a builder?”

Erik shook his head, “Mother says there is always work for builders.”

James, “Not always, but most of the year if you know where to look yes. You could try architecture, something to work that mind of yours if you want to go the building route.”

Erik, “Should I not choose an easier job in demand for funds?”

The brothers chuckled and Victor said, “One thing you have to know kid, there will always be work depending on what you are willing to put up with for funds. We’ve worked in everything from mills, digging ditches up to building sky scrapers, even owned a sock shop once. Choose what you have passion for. What challenges that mind of yours, menial jobs will only lead you to bouts of frustration for how simple it is. If it means taking the harder path then do it. It will never not be worth it to try for what you are passionate about.”

James nodded, “Don’t worry about funds. You have us, no matter where you go we’ll make sure you’re set up safe with a roof and square meals a day. You’re family. Edie bless her heart is just worried about you, as mothers do for their babies. She’ll be proud of you when you reach that dream of yours.”

“Sock shop?” You asked making the brothers smirk and delve into the story on how they stole a suit shop and couldn’t keep it afloat with suits so limited it to socks until the owners came back from a long trip away back when they were teens.

For the past two days since the graduation followed by a celebratory dinner back in town with everyone for his achievement and the engagement to announce the big day for those who didn’t already know the lovebirds were inside working up their apartment in their minds. Dawn took care to inspect each picture and using the diagrams Victor and James made her had gotten to decorating. Lists of furniture were made along with the new scheme of Teddy’s room. In the soon to be orange and grey room borderless silhouettes of tigers and colorfully plumed tropical birds opposite orange bordered ducks, owls, rhinos and elephants would be added herself for her own adored taste for her future son’s room.

They required some space as taking sides was what aiding on decisions seemed to be in their finding balance for the new space as a couple. Dawn already expected to have family over often, his family at least, and was pleased to hear her taste would blend well with that of the Brock’s. Nerves were high as she’d be facing their inquiries to see just how she would fit into the family, calming only as you said they would love her for just loving Eddie and managing to land the heart of the formerly hopeful bachelor.

Sunset was what you had hoped for, Dawn would be home again and while the others slept you could be alone with James again. Stunning was the least you could say about your first time with James. A wish to try something farther ended rather abruptly after a marathon of aims to see who could last out the longest. There was a sting but right away it just felt right, as if your bodies had already done this before.

Everything seemed so much deeper these days while you had the oddest of dreams together in some golden grand palace on an incredible island with purple waters separating your lands from those wrapped by waters of blue. You had to be losing your mind, yet Venom’s words echoed in your mind that you were older than this planet’s sun. Quite calmly James and Victor had taken to your dreams confirming they had similar dreams in the past when they were younger leading to old sketches and paintings being brought out of storage including one of you and James stunning him as to how he hadn’t thought to look for this earlier.

Simply you found a rhythm and just eager your bodies were in finding home that you finished together, then promptly blacked out. Jarred from the effect of it all was nothing to what came next. Straight up in bed you shot once a dream of you being delivered dream James’ helmet along with Victor’s and told that they were dead leaving you and Dream Eddie who was being covered as Venom crept out in the approach of a dark haired woman in the shadow of a darker male force coming to wage war on you. Devastation was left. And tear inducing, your father was there clearly taking your soul he hid and off he fled on what looked to be a meteor shaped ship that Venom was clinging to as the woman lay dead in the crater you left behind. With thousands of soldiers now fully metal came to view in the settling waves of dust.

You weren’t scared of James, and the dream once shared with Venom was confirmed to be your last day as Mother. You just felt pain, uncertainty once again on if you would lose all you had gained and now finding your courage again around his shoulders you hugged him on your toes pressing a kiss to the back of his shoulder initiating his turn to hold you and claim a kiss of his own. Humming against his lips you asked, “Try again?”

“You sure?” He asked smoothing his hands down your back and you nodded signaling his lifting you with legs wrapped around his middle on the wall to bed, “Nice and slow then, no marathon.” Kissing you again to start a passionate more tender try at this again in hopes you wouldn’t trigger another painful memory this time.

Tangled again in his arms contently he peppered lingering kisses down your forehead and cheeks tracing his fingers across your back. Pausing only a moment as you asked, “Does it really change anything?”

Grinning at you he shook his head, “No, still helplessly in love with you.”

“Damn,” you teased and giggled through his retaliatory kiss and cuddles bringing you closer to his chest. Nuzzling his nose with yours his eyes closed in this moment of peace and out of nowhere an old unasked question popped out of you, “I didn’t make a very convincing soldier did I?”

With eyes open and on yours he replied inching his head back curious why you were asking. “Well you lacked in a few training aspects, the lingo mainly but you picked it up. You made a convincing kid who snuck in lying about their age.”

“But it was obvious I was a dame in a stolen uniform?”

Trailing a chuckle he replied, “Not at all. In fact if I hadn’t noticed your cycle and hadn’t known you and those purple eyes before there’s no telling how long you could have fooled us. I do have to ask, how’d you keep those a secret so long? We would have noticed your bandage supply going dry had you used those.”

“Well, I can make, I can cap it, to stop it from coming out.”

“Like a cork?” You nodded and he asked rather concerned, “Does that hurt? It sounds like it would hurt.”

“It does, really bad. But it was all I could do to not wear it. No time for stops and when I stopped to pee you just let it go. Cramping stops eventually near the end of the week. Bloating is a nightmare.”

“I’m so sorry we couldn’t help with that.”

You shook your head, “You kept me distracted. That helped.”

“So why the questions on being a soldier? You aren’t planning on running off to battle again are you?” He teased.

You giggled shaking your head, “No, just haven’t asked you yet. No more wars for me.”

“Good, us neither. We are too old now anyways, technically. Never leaving you again for that foolishness.” Again he kissed your forehead, “Get some sleep now, off to buy some china in the morning.” Inching the covers higher over you both cuddling closer and shutting his eyes to go to sleep excited to see just which set you would settle on.

Post breakfast grouping you were off to Alberta catching whispers of the festivities for the celebration of the anniversary of D-Day for the soldiers and their families on your way to the china shop as Eddie and Victor went to pick out some things for the wedding last minute.

Right through the doors of the upscale shop you walked feeling James’ hand shifting the cardigan on your back over your nice navy polka dotted dress. Back again in a fine vest and trousers to look the part with you to build your confidence you belonged there he kept you close ensuring he wouldn’t let go until you felt a tiny bit at home with the task. Glancing around at the displays close to you the approach of a sales aid went unnoticed until their cologne wafted your way. A smile settled across the man’s face as he realized just who was in his family’s shop. “Miss Pear, Mr Howlett, welcome to our humble shop, how might we assist you today?”

James’ finger pressed a tad into your back signaling for you to speak and you said through a simple smile, “Well I am attending Barnard University in the fall and we’ve renovated my old place there. Including adding a tea room, which we will be requiring a fitting tea set for any club gatherings or visits from other students or Professors.”

His grin widened as James added, “Plus some good dinner sets as well in case of special dinners. Entertaining and such.”

“Of course, of course, allow me to offer you some of our impressive collections.” For nearly an hour you chose from the vast collections, one crème and platinum rimmed set and a second arguably stunning white, mint and silver banded set with raised decorations from a scantily sold collection near to be taken back by the designer to accept its least popular design yet.

For the tea you paused on another of their least popular styles, lifting one of the cups inspecting the thick black bands with silver floral designs above simple white bare bases standing with a thin silver band lining it. Inside the cup leaves reached for the top with a magnolia bloom in the bottom. The round saucer was a simple painted magnolia on a leafy stem with center above a second more squared with wavy ends, fully black floral designed plate. Crème pot and sugar bowl were solid black as well etched florally in silver. While the teapot half white similar to the saucers stood atop a larger round saucer above a second all white squared wavy ended one with raised silver accents in each corner branching out to connect around the edges.

Tilting it to James you asked, “Too much?”

“I like it, my Gran had a set like that.” James replied and promptly added, “Will fit the cabinet nicely with the design on the bands for the sections between the glass panels.”

Catching the aid’s eye again you asked, “What do you think? It wouldn’t be an odd choice for company?”

“That set is very lovely, and certainly would be unlike any most couples choose. Pink and white is the most common, blue and white is a close second. The design has an elegant touch to it,” lifting the tea pot he said, “Not just anyone would choose this set, few would be so bold to, and the mere shape of the tea pot itself would add to your brew with its clearly superior shape.” More he delved into the crafting of each piece and demonstrated how the shape of the base of a cup rested in the saucer easing sliding by resting a set on his palm he eased around in front of him, even in a few slight angles.

James smirked catching a hint of eagerness to sell this set far from necessary as you had been the one to pick it out, even the mint he caught the stunned expressions on others faces noticing what you had chosen far from matching to the prices of which other sets blew out of the water. You had mentioned not wanting to seem odd the days prior asking to tour Dot and a few other’s own tea sets seeing for yourself how popular the simple floral designs were. Only you had resigned with a sigh that you were odd and choosing more of the same wasn’t what you wanted.

Though your most adorable question came as the salesman paused in wait for a tray of spoons to go with your set. “What about the little scoopers? I can’t think of their proper name. Do you sell those?” His lips parted in slight confusion and you clarified, “When we had dinner at Buckingham Palace they had little claw things, for sugar cubes.”

“Ah, yes, of course, the sugar tongs, they will be among the designs, we have a pair with leaf shaped ends instead of spoons or the antique styled prongs. Myself I prefer the simpler designs for my own set at home while mother swears by her prong ended set.” His grin eased out again while you listened diligently to each trait and seemed out of most who came here to actually know the most useful and suitable to what you had chosen to complete the set. By the time wine and liquor glasses were chosen it became less about the curiosity to see which least popular choices you had been inclined to and more to see how it all blended in splendidly with your style and personality the staff could tell in your time together. Wonder for how your home would appear in full, all silently hoping along with hundreds of others to have some magazine get an exclusive tour of that tea room one day so they might get a glimpse.

In all a hefty sum was spent but James could only be proud knowing that you had chosen nearly all of it, conceding to his own similar taste to suit your style for his and Victor’s liquor set. His addition being a few pop up breakfast trays he snuck in while you were distracted. Already he could see you planning your first dinner together, mainly you hosting as he and Victor cooked up a storm to aid in your good impression with the impeccable sets you had chosen coating the dining and tearoom tables. The images distracting him on the wait for the others who were still deciding for the final choices as you both strolled through the same shop with your mind reeling as to just what Dawn might have chosen for her own set knowing Eddie had mentioned she had been looking at catalogues herself knowing he would one day propose.

“Do you know where to buy sugar cubes?”

Eddie looked from the selection to your distracted question, “Can’t say I do.”

“We are getting sugar tongs, so we need sugar cubes. Might have to go uptown for it.”

Eddie, “Well, soon as you need it we’ll make sure we track it down.”

Victor smirked inching closer to James asking about your choices while Eddie asked your opinion on the final choices that were soon rung up and loaded into the truck for the drive back. Final touches were to be made and as you were expecting to be wearing your skirted uniform you were stunned to be nearly pulled out of the truck to be wiggled into the dress that they had made for you. Daisy and David would be in the Bridal party while you and Erik were part of Eddie’s Groomsmen. A laced up crème dress topped with an off the shoulder long sleeved shrug top accented with embroidered panels and designs down the sleeves matched Daisy’s while Erik was fixed into a tux to match David’s while Eddie donned his dress uniform along with James and Victor.

Middle of the night eyes split open to the sound of a pained whimper. Sitting up in bed you tried to place the sound as James rolled onto his back and shot up himself to reach for his pants, “Pepper.”

At that you hurried across the bed feeling your nightgown shift around your thighs in joining him through the room out to the stairs spotting Eddie, Victor and Erik already were up and off to check on Pepper finding her in the living room near the fire still at its embers. All around her you gathered the usual called for water and towels with fire fed her labor was eased with your help to bring her four little puppies into the world. Napping once the four were washed off and cuddled close to her back in her warm bed with ample blankets Pepper slept and you all were off to get the final slivers of sleep available to you.

Soon enough however the house was woken again to sounding alarms and up you got to scramble to get a breakfast together. Halfway conscious food was eaten and dishes cleared up after with you still chewing your last bit of toast on your trot upstairs again. Pepper had her food brought to her with fresh water as Whiskers promised to keep watch of her and her puppies while you were gone.

Deeply exhaling you held your hair over your shoulder while James finished lacing up your dress for you. Smirking at your nerves he said, “Just think of this as a warm up for our day.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be in uniform too? Isn’t there a rule on that?”

“Normally yes, however, you are allowed a reprieve.” Leaning in over your shoulder he planted a kiss on your cheek hugging you around your middle, “Besides, the Bride insists as Groomsman you should be dressed to the nines. In a special gown all your own corresponding to Daisy’s dress. Even Teddy has a special suit.”

“Who’s holding Teddy again?”

“Vic.” He chuckled out grinning at your slightly sleepy glance at yourself in the mirror still waking to what day it was after the early wake up last night.

From the cars to the church you all filled the lots and made your way inside to the respective private rooms. Halfway to Venom tearing out already Eddie paced to keep calm only to halt at your hands cupping his face making him smirk. “Eddie, breathe, you don’t need to know the words you just have to repeat them.”

“Mamma’s gonna be mad.”

“Doubt it.”

“She said she wouldn’t, but I’m the youngest boy to get hitched-,”

“And we are filming and taking impossible amounts of pictures. To show off to the lot of them. Vows, kiss, then food and dancing and more kisses and then you head off to your mini honeymoon in the cabin up by that yellow lake the guys set up.” Smoothing your hands down his arms, “You know we’ve lived here for nearly a year now and I didn’t have a clue there was another cabin on their lands, but there is.”

He smirked saying, “You can say yours, already is without the papers. We have a home. All of us, together.”

“I know.” You sighed out then said when Erik came out of the bath after having failed to fix his tie making you smirk and wave him over stirring out his grin to watch you hovering behind him to show him in the mirror how to do it. “Eddie showed me when we got to London how to do this.” Glancing over his shoulder while Eddie focused on helping to fix his cufflinks he was still holding. “You should in the papers too.”

Eddie scoffed, “Dawn would kill me if I drug her through that on her big day.” Your brow inched up and he chuckled, “Bunny, we love you and we will bar the doors for yours if you like-,”

“I know what you mean. She didn’t ask for it.”

Eddie, “Nor did you, but we are used to being jeered at and heckled from back home, she’s already marrying me, deserves a break.”

“I believe the honeymoon is meant to be the break.” You teased and lowered to the ground again behind Erik who turned with you at the knock on the door making Eddie tense up again. “Breathe Eddie, and remember,”

“Just repeat,” he murmured making you giggle.

On your toes you kissed his cheek turning his head, “She picked you, and loves you.” Venom poked his head out of Eddie’s neck, “Both of you, not to mention Teddy, can’t compete with him.”

Eddie chuckled out, “No one could.” Following your nudge to the door and out to the waiting audience including your troops of soldiers all in uniform joining the other scattered soldiers from town doing the same for this special marriage to two of their own.

Exhaling slowly he stood beside the Judge who patted him on the back keeping him calm after his quick flinch to the sound of the door opening. Dawn had asked for no music at her own nerves and fumbled her hand into Eddie’s in her turn to the Judge to keep her blush between the three of them at the crowd familiar and unfamiliar faces along. Word for word the jittery pair recited and you giggled to yourself internally keeping the pair from dropping their rings while reigning in your own smirk behind your curled fingers in a faked brush of a hair out of your face stealing a glimpse at James who couldn’t keep his eyes off you from the front row.

One kiss led to cheers and even Dawn laughed at Venom popping out to lift her in his arms carrying her to the barn when Eddie’s legs almost buckled in their being announced. Around the pathway to the barn the soldiers raised their ceremonial swords for an archway with Eddie back out again kissing Dawn’s cheek calmed from his nerves and dipping into the sheer bliss of this all. To her seat he carried her and from there the fun crept out adding ease to all of this. Dancing in the sea of people the newlyweds cuddled and about halfway through your useless screwdrivers the bartender kept sending your way the big sendoff was to be given with the speeches to leave the blushing to a minimum now that the couple had been married for a few hours at least and relaxed to the company.

Her father spoke along with David and exhaling slowly you took your time to say something up at the mic hoping you wouldn’t start to cry.

“Now, I’m not too certain what to say. I have a stack of tattered drafts back at the house from my tries to come up with the best thing to say. After I lost my Dad, I remember being halfway invisible to the world, but Eddie saw me. And from finding out one day I was able to hurl spoons across the room he never flinched, or was scared, no matter what Steve said..” your voice broke a moment and you wet your lower lip tucking it in your mouth a moment and continued, “Eddie has never stopped protecting me, making sure I was safe no matter what. Always making sure I was in his sights or in reach. All through ending up in the war and stumbling our way through London and back to here, because family means something much stronger than blood could ever match. And moving here, Dawn, you and your family have been so amazing to us, along with everyone else. But I knew since the moment Eddie met you that you were going to be in our little patchwork family. And even though the Brocks couldn’t make it, trust me we wouldn’t be able to fit them in here with all of you,” stirring a few chuckles from the crowd and Eddie hugging Dawn from behind trying not to tear up himself. “I can tell they will love you just as much as we have and we will do our best to not let them drive you up the wall and look after you while you adjust to Brooklyn just as amazingly as your family have ensured we adjusted here. Now I believe this is by far the longest speech I have ever given and now I will leave it on a more ominous hinted note, enjoy your time in the woods while we run off with your child.”

Chuckles filled the place and out again the troops went to line the way in the sea of guests holding bags of confetti while you hugged Eddie saying, “Don’t you worry about Teddy. Have fun cuddling.”

Eddie chuckled and kissed Teddy’s head while he slept in Victor’s arms giving his carrier a nod and turned to watch Dawn turn from her family to join him to the waiting car that would take them to their honeymoon. Everyone else cleared up a majority of their mess gathering it up to be taken the following day by the chosen cleaners and you made your ways home.

Looping your arm under Victor’s on the ride home you turned his head at your cheek resting on his shoulder and you asked, “This what you felt like you guys got married?”

The question had James glancing at you when Victor leaned in to hug you, rumbling back, “Eddie loves you.” His gaze shifted back to Erik chuckling in his game of bouncing himself around the bed of the truck without touching the sides. “Nothing changes that. No one changes that. Even if in your head you are imagining some burning building situation he checks for Teddy first because he can’t walk, he calls for Dawn and aims her to safety with Teddy and looks for you. No doubt already finding you putting the fire out. Sounds like you are third but it is all one motion, all of you. Plus, he knows we would be there to look out for you too.”

James, “If we weren’t here no doubt things would be different. He would ensure you were safe, possibly even do what we have, get a separate floor for you to live with them.”

“I know. Just odd. Everyone else I’ve called family from back then, when they left they went under a tombstone. Hard to know he’s moving on without leaving forever.”

James, “You are taking it considerably better than Vic did when I married.”

Victor chuckled, “I took it very well considering you both moved to a different county.”

James retorted, “He moved into our attic.”

“You just left your family?”

Victor grinned at you, “That’s how I met them. When he tried to throw me out a window I fell into her open carriage when she came to visit the newlyweds.”

James rolled his eyes, “Yes, then he moved with her into our home, really helped with my in laws. Only moved there to please them so they would grant consent.”

Victor leaned in to kiss your forehead, “Family is only growing, just a floor down from us.” You looked up at him and he smirked, “And no, I am not left out. Pepper, the puppy and Whiskers can come stay in my floor. I love you guys, and I am so happy for what’s coming. No doubt soon enough Teddy will have siblings and need the extra hands to help out.” He murmured then leaned in to kiss Teddy’s fist in his slumbering stretch that had bumped his chin. “Look at you, already throwing punches in your sleep like your auntie Bunny.” That had you giggling and rolling your eyes. “Help you build up a nice right hook when you’re older.”

“I don’t think I’ve thanked you guys enough for giving us a home.”

James smiled patting his hand on your lap, “You helped us find home in that war. We had our house, but you brought us home.”

Victor, “You needed some peace, you, Eddie and Squishy. You needed more than just the Brocks to care for you.”

Up to the house you drove and once parked all climbed out ready for bed. Warmly you all greeted the still close eyed puppies in their last feeding of the day, cuddling and petting Whiskers as well thanking him for keeping watch, and fed the fire for Pepper on your way up wishing her a good night’s rest sharing that David would be by in the morning. Behind you James stood after removing his jacket and vest he tossed onto the foot of the bed once the fire was lit. Each lacing carefully loosened to help you wiggle out of the dress after removing the shrug, both of which were added to the pile of clothes along with the corset he helped you undo next. Turned around you barely had to look up and he’d stepped closer draping his arms around you, “I love you.”

“Was my speech ok?”

“It was perfect, nice joke at the end too. Public welcome to the family, explaining why the Brocks weren’t here, everyone knows they had three babies in the past month alone. Hard to travel with so many, even if we paid the tickets. Just lovely, please don’t worry.”

You nodded, “Just didn’t want to sink the mood.”

Again he kissed you and hummed, “No sinking here. We’re supposed to get a bit misty in speeches from relatives. Least you didn’t make Dawn cry like her father did.” Again he kissed your nose and hummed, “Let’s get you in bed, Darling.” Guiding you to bed, where after he’d stripped he curled around you knowing fully that you could have been taking this a lot worse than you had. Knowing fully the fear of abandonment you all seemed to share and were fighting together.

Pt 22

@changelingkhat, @alishlieb , @bun-bun-the-rabbit

#Victor Creed #Eddie Brock x OC #Venom #James Howlett x Reader OC #Wedding

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ft-dads-au · 4 years

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End of the Road - Chapter 2

I Take Pride In What I Am 2020 Prompt: Gift Pairing(s): Silver x Gildarts, Pre-Slash Makarov x Porlyusica

A Collaboration by @mdelpin and @oryu404 AO3 | Prev: Ch 1

Summary: During a celebration dinner at his mother's house, Gildarts discovers something about Silver that he hadn't realized. Although he can't fulfill Silver’s wish, it gives him an idea that symbolizes how he feels about their future.

Chapter 2

September 8, 1989

Silver and Gildarts wisely stayed out of Porlyusica’s way as she rushed through the remaining preparations for their dinner.

“Everything looks great, mom,” Gildarts assured her, “smells good too.”

She flashed him a rare smile, “I really am proud of you, Gilly.”

“Gilly?!” Silver burst into guffaws, earning him two nearly identical glares from his boyfriend and Porlyusica.

He shuddered at the combined weight of their displeasure.

“You are never calling me that,” Gildarts declared, and when Silver attempted to respond, he covered his mouth. “Never, do you understand?” He waited until Silver nodded to remove his hand.

Silver waggled his eyebrows, “Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you have that murderous aura?”

Gildarts rolled his eyes but pulled him into a kiss regardless. “Mhhm,” he hummed, licking his lips after they separated. “Maybe I should have you for dinner instead.”

“Oh, for the love of,” Porlyusica protested, “can’t you two keep your hands off each other for five minutes?”

The doorbell rang, and Porlyusica went off to answer it, muttering under her breath about how they were much too old to be acting like lovesick teenagers.

Silver and Gildarts snickered, following her to the door to greet their guest. They stood behind her as she opened the door, revealing a short man with blond hair that was slicked away from his face in gravity-defying spikes. He gave Porlyusica an appraising once over.

“Oh, it’s you,” Porlyusica greeted their guest with barely hidden contempt, moving away from the door to let him enter the house.

“Hey, Porly, long time no see!” Makarov Dreyar grinned, clearly amused by the irritated glare he received from his hostess.

Porly? Silver mouthed at Gildarts, who shrugged his shoulders in reply.

“I’ve told you to never call me that,” Porlyusica scowled, even as she accepted the bouquet of pink roses he had brought her.

“And this is for you,” Makarov ignored Porlyusica’s remark and handed Gildarts the bottle of wine, which looked to be kind of expensive. “I had a hell of a time finding a good vintage for 1965, but this should do,” he patted Gildarts on the back, too short to reach his shoulders.

“You two know each other?” Gildarts looked from one to the other in confusion.

“You could say that. We went to medical school together,” Porlyusica muttered grouchily, moving to the kitchen to put her flowers in a vase.

“We were a little more than that,” Makarov teased, chuckling when he saw her shoulders tense.

“Don’t go putting ideas into the boy’s head,” Porlyusica scolded, glancing over at Gildarts, “What he’s trying to say is that he was one of the few people at that school who was not a complete idiot. Although that seems to have changed.”

Makarov snorted at her comment, “It’s been too long,” he opened his arms and, in a move that surprised both Silver and Gildarts, Porlyusica allowed herself to be hugged.

“So you were Gildarts supervisor?”

“Yep, all of last year and he was good enough to help me out this summer as well,” Makarov remarked, “He grew up to be a wonderful boy, who would have thought?”

Noting Gildarts' confused expression, Makarov explained, “I watched you a few times when you were little, so your mother could study. You used to have this amazing ability to break things, glad to see you outgrew that.”

“He hasn’t,” Silver piped in, earning a dirty look from Gildarts.

“Ah, this must be the significant other you’ve mentioned,” Makarov extended his hand in greeting, “Makarov Dreyar, nice to meet you.”

“Silver Fullbuster,” Silver shook his hand, “Whatever he told you about me is probably not true.”

Makarov chuckled, “Well, you must certainly be something to keep his attention, I swear Gildarts had every single woman at that center pining over him.”

“I bet,” Silver rolled his eyes, “it’s the same at school.”

“I mean, can you blame them?” Gildarts joked, “Besides, you’re just as bad. It’s how we met, remember?”

“Are you done?” Porlyusica asked them drily, not looking particularly impressed with any of them.

“Sorry, mom,” Gildarts flashed her a grin and grabbed one of the serving plates, taking it to the dinner table while Silver hurried to do the same.

“This looks wonderful,” Makarov complimented after they had sat down, “when did you learn how to cook?”

“About the same time you stopped growing,” Porlyusica sniped in return, causing Silver to almost choke on his water.

Gildarts was doing his best to keep a straight face, but it had been a long time since he’d seen his mother so riled up, and for once, it wasn’t directed at him.

“So Gildarts mentioned that you ran your practice from home,” Makarov remarked, “That was smart, it must have been very helpful when he was young.”

“Yes, it allowed me to be here when he got home after school, although it also meant that people showed up at all hours.”

“And I bet you saw them all,” Makarov smiled, “You always were a softie.”

Porlyusica slid him a guarded look, “Why do I get the sudden feeling that you’re buttering me up for something.”

Makarov shrugged, flashing her an amused smile, “You always were too suspicious.”

“Anyhow, enough about us, we’re here to celebrate our Gildarts’ accomplishment!” Makarov cheered.

“Dude, I think I just met your new dad,” Silver whispered into Gildarts’ ear, earning him an elbow to his side.

“Do you have something to add, Silver?” Porlyusica fixed him with one of her no-nonsense looks.

Silver’s eyes twinkled with mischief, “No, ma’am, just that Gildarts worked really hard for this, and I’m really proud of him.” He gave his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek, chuckling when Gildarts whispered, “Nice save.”

“You two make a lovely couple,” Makarov complimented, “it’s refreshing to see. How long have you been together?”

“About two and a half years,” Gildarts answered in between bites, “So how come you never told me you knew my mom?”

“Well,” Makarov tapped his fingers on the table, “I figured if you were anything like your mother you’d want to make sure you got the job on your own. And you did.” Makarov added quickly, “I chose you based on your own merit. I just didn’t want you to ever doubt it.”

“I just wish I could have gotten your help with this new project I’m working on, you’d be perfect for it,” Makarov said wistfully.

“Is this the center thing you mentioned on the phone?” Gildarts asked, eyes flashing with interest.

“A center?” Silver questioned, “What kind of center?”

“Well, the old-style orphanages are gone, replaced by something called the foster system. Now families can apply to care for children. The government pays them a stipend to cover the costs of housing a child in their care. It could be an orphan or a child taken away from its parents for any number of reasons. In time these families can even petition to adopt the child,” Makarov explained.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” Silver commented, and it wasn’t hard to see he was excited about the idea, “I’d love for us to do something like that, Gil. Not now, of course, but maybe when we’re more settled, you know? We could get a bigger house, foster a few kids, maybe even give them a home.”

“You want us to have kids?” Gildarts gawked at his boyfriend, “You’d never said anything about that before.”

“Don’t you want to?”

“I hadn’t really considered it, but I mean, I like kids, and I love you so…” Gildarts scratched his head.

“I’m sorry to say you wouldn’t be allowed to,” Makarov interrupted Gildarts’ musing, “There are certain laws in place as to who can and cannot apply to foster a child, and unfortunately same-sex couples are in the cannot column.”

“What? But why?!” Silver protested, “We’d make excellent parents.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Makarov smiled kindly, “It’s obvious you love each other, and you’d probably be better parents than those that are just doing it for the money. To be honest, I feel the foster system has introduced more problems than it’s solved. That’s exactly why I want to open this center.”

“What do you mean?” Silver wrinkled his brow, trying to understand what the man was saying.

“Some of these kids get abused by their foster parents. More often than not, it’s their word against an adult’s, and the government isn’t that interested in taking them back now that they don’t have a lot of space to keep them,” Gildarts put in, “So if it gets bad enough, these kids turn to the streets, and it’s even worse for them there. Drugs, prostitution, slavery, they were talking about that in one of my classes last week. They can’t even get access to health care services cause that would get them caught. It’s even worse if they’re like us.”

Gildarts peered at Makarov with respect, “Is that what you want to do, create a place they can go to get services?”

“I knew it!” Porlyusica slammed her fist on the table, “I knew you were buttering me up for something. I have my own practice Makarov, I don’t have time to humor your whims.”

“Porly, these kids are getting lost. You always said Gildarts never had much, but he had you. These kids have no one. Besides, Rob, Yaj, and Goldmine already agreed to help. I’m even trying to get Bob to come back from Edolas for this.”

“You have Rob, you don’t need me.”

“You know as well as I do that some girls prefer female doctors,” Makarov reminded her, “You also know you’re only protesting cause I’m the one asking.”

“That’s enough! You were invited here to celebrate Gildarts’ achievement,” Porlyusica’s eyes flashed with anger, and to no one’s surprise, Makarov backed down.

“But Mom, this is really important.” Gildarts protested, “Didn’t you always tell me that if there was a way I could help it was my responsibility to do so?”

“No, Gildarts, she’s right, this wasn’t the right time to bring it up.” Makarov acknowledged, but a corner of his mouth lifted at Gildarts’ words.

Gildarts was about to say something when Silver spoke, “So do you have any funny stories from Gildarts’ internship you can tell us?”

“Do I ever,” Makarov grinned, eyeing Gildarts playfully, “There was this one girl in particular-”

“Noooo,” Gildarts groaned, “Please don’t tell him that story, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Even more reason to tell me,” Silver prodded, rubbing his hands together in glee.

They spent the rest of the dinner listening to Makarov’s stories, and despite his protests, Gildarts laughed along with them, always loving to be the center of attention. After helping to clear the table, Silver and Gildarts sat outside while Porlyusica gave Makarov a tour of her practice.

Gildarts put his arm around Silver’s shoulders, smiling when Silver leaned into him.

“What are you thinking about?” Gildarts asked when Silver had remained quiet for many minutes.

“Just how stupid this all is,” Silver sighed, “They’d rather have an abusive asshole care for a child than someone who doesn’t fit their idea of normal. It’s like they think we’re some kind of contagious disease or something. It just reminds me of growing up with my dad, terrified of him realizing how I felt, but still wanting his approval so damn badly.”

There wasn’t much Gildarts could say to that, so he squeezed his boyfriend’s hand tightly and changed the subject. “I never knew you felt so strongly about having kids.”

“I didn’t really think about it. Before I met you, I just assumed I’d end up marrying some girl and having kids. It’s what was expected of me, you know?” Silver tensed in his arms, “I’d never really considered any other outcome.”

“Silver,” Gildarts hesitated before continuing, “If this isn’t what you want long term, it’s okay.”

“That’s not what I said, I wouldn’t give you up just so I could have a family,” his forehead furrowed in thought. “A lot of those kids that Makarov was talking about, they run away because they’re like us, don’t they?”

“It’s not that simple, but yeah, a lot of them are LGBT or have untreated mental health issues. Sometimes they’re just physically abused or malnourished. There’s no one reason. The only thing they all probably have in common is that they’re scared.”

“I want us to help them if we can,” Silver entreated, “that’s kind of like being a parent too, isn’t it?”

“It is,“ Gildarts assured him, “I’ll tell Makarov we want to help however we can.”

“Do you think your mom will change her mind?” Silver asked, surprised when Gildarts started to laugh. “She never stood a chance,” he explained, “Makarov will continue to hound her until she says yes. He’s relentless. No wonder he was so eager to come over.”

Silver was still caught up in his own gloomy thoughts when he felt Gildarts kiss the top of his head before nuzzling it, “It won’t always be like this. People are starting to take notice of the injustices, and maybe this center will help bring awareness to some of these issues.”

More than anything, he wanted to share in Gildarts’ optimism, but he wasn’t as sure. In his experience, there was still too much hatred for things to change anytime soon.

They sat together in silence, watching the stars until they were called back inside for dessert.

0-0

“Wakey wakey, “ Gildarts singsonged annoyingly into Silver’s ear.

“Go away,” Silver whined, pushing his boyfriend away even as he tried to keep his eyes shut. “Come on, Gil, it’s Saturday, one of the few days we can sleep late.”

“Not today, come on, we’re going out,” Gildarts got up from the bed, grabbing the covers and taking them with him.

“Like that’s gonna work,” Silver muttered, snuggling into the sheets, grabbing hold of Gildarts’ pillow and hugging it to his chest. He tried to go back to sleep, but now that Gildarts had left the bed and taken all of the warmth with him, he couldn’t seem to settle again. After a few more attempts, he groaned and got up.

He walked out of their bedroom and scowled at his boyfriend, who was cheerfully preparing breakfast and coffee.

“How can you be this fucking chipper?”

Gildarts only laughed and handed him a mug filled with coffee before grabbing the plates of food off the counter and moving them to the table. “Not all of us are grumpy in the morning. Now hurry up and eat.”

Silver tried to remain irritated, but it was hard to do when everything looked and smelled so good. “Fine,” he relented, ”What is so important that we needed to get up so early?”

Gildarts rolled his eyes and sat across from him, “Dude, it’s like ten o’clock. It stopped being early hours ago.”

“You haven’t answered my question,” Silver declared, feeling the beginnings of curiosity gnaw at him.

“That’s because it’s a surprise.” There was a gleam to Gildarts’ eyes that Silver wasn’t sure he trusted, but he knew from experience if his boyfriend was determined to keep something to himself, there was no getting it out of him.

They finished eating and quickly got ready, leaving their apartment roughly thirty minutes later. The fall air was invigorating, and they began to walk towards the university. Thinking that they were headed to some student performance or something, Silver stopped paying attention to where they were going and trusted Gildarts to lead them while he thought about what he still needed to get done before Monday’s classes.

They stopped sooner than what he had anticipated, and he soon realized they weren’t on campus. In fact, they were standing in front of the Magnolia Animal Shelter, which had a colorful sign hung up, declaring that day as an Adoption Day.

He turned to look at his boyfriend in confusion, noticing that he seemed almost shy for once, “What are we doing here?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said last night, the things you wanted and-,” Gildarts seemed flustered, his fingers combing through his hair, “and I know this isn’t the same, but it is something we can adopt together.”

“Someday we’ll have that future you talked about with the house and the kids,” he said reassuringly, “but until then, maybe this can serve as a sort of promise. Either way, it’ll be good practice.”

Silver was at a loss for words, he’d never expected Gildarts to take what he’d said so seriously. Certainly not enough to try to do something about it, and for once, he threw caution to the wind, kissing Gildarts in broad daylight for anyone to see.

“Thank you,” Silver breathed out, smirking at the flabbergasted expression on Gildarts’ face, who could only nod in reply.

He pointed to the door of the shelter and asked, “Shall we?”

“I’ve never had a pet before,” Gildarts admitted, “This is kind of exciting.”

“Ah, so the truth comes out, you just wanted to convince me to get a dog,” Silver teased, chuckling when Gildarts immediately protested the accusation.

They entered the building already discussing what kind of dog they wanted, spending almost an hour looking into every kennel they could. Gildarts was excited about getting a puppy, but Silver was convinced that they needed a dog that was already housebroken since they were often gone for long periods of the day.

They had almost made their choice, much to the delight of the frazzled volunteer, when Silver noticed an older lady looking sadly at a dog they had walked past earlier.

Gildarts had also noticed her and had already walked over, “Is everything okay, ma’am?”

“What?” She blinked at him in surprise, “Oh, yes.��

Silver joined them, his curiosity aroused as well. Inside the kennel, there was a young, gray pitbull, with a white belly and gorgeous blue eyes, who looked rather sweet and seemed to be whimpering at the old lady. “Are you planning to take him home?” he asked after checking the information card.

The old lady sighed, “I can’t, I was the one that brought him here. My tenant association threatened to have me evicted otherwise. They said Slate was dangerous, but that’s not true.

“I didn’t want to give him up,” the old woman looked at Silver apologetically, “but I have nowhere else to go, and I couldn’t find anyone to take him.”

Silver could see Gildarts narrowing his eyes as he read the card, and suddenly he was kneeling in front of the kennel and calling out to the dog.

“Come here, Slate,” he called, and the dog cocked his head at him. A few seconds later, he moved to sniff Gildarts’ offered hand. He whimpered again, his tail wagging tentatively.

“Who’s a good boy?” Gildarts cooed as he patted the dog on the head, already looking at Silver with wide, pleading eyes.

Silver reread the information card to see what had caused Gildarts’ sudden interest, and that’s when he caught something that he’d missed before, making his stomach drop.

DEATH DATE: 09/10

That was tomorrow! Silver knelt next to Gildarts, holding out his hand as well, smiling as the dog licked it.

“His name is Slate, Silver,” Gildarts coaxed.

Silver turned his attention to the woman, “Is there anything we need to know about him?”

“He’s a wonderful dog, he’s very affectionate. Please don’t let them kill him,” the woman was close to tears, and he could see Gildarts was as close as he’d ever seen him. Apparently Porlyusica was not the only softie, Silver mused.

“Well, let’s take him for a walk then.”

Slate was indeed a wonderful dog, and five minutes into the walk, he’d already started to worm himself into their hearts. They decided to adopt him and demanded both their names be on the application, to the confusion of the woman writing up the form.

An hour later they left, after having purchased all the things they would need, using up some of the money Gildarts had saved for emergencies.

They spent the rest of the day at home, getting Slate settled in. Silver tried to get back to his studies but couldn't help but peek over the edge of his book, drawn to the almost childlike joy he could hear in Gildarts' giggles. He watched with adoration as Gildarts lay on the floor, wrestling with Slate, who rewarded him by enthusiastically licking his face.

After a few more failed attempts at studying Silver gave in to the urge of joining them on the floor. Slate came right up to him to give him dog kisses too, and he could hear Gildarts’ chuckle at whatever expression he was making. Once he was done with his greeting Slate settled between them, tired from all the playing and exploring of his new home.

“Are we still going to your mom’s tomorrow?” Silver asked as he stroked the smooth coat of fur on Slate's head, smiling at how content the dog already seemed with them.

“Of course! We have to introduce her to the grandkid,” Gildarts snickered as Silver rolled his eyes.

“Well, we should let this little guy go out to do his business before we get to bed then, you know she likes us to get there early,” Silver reminded him.

Gildarts hummed in agreement, getting up to look for the leash they had bought. Once they’d managed to coax Slate up they walked him down the stairs and out the door. It was late enough that the streets were mostly empty so when he felt Gildarts lace their hands together Silver didn’t even blink.

And perhaps this was the biggest gift of all, these little moments they could now look forward to where they were just a couple taking their dog out for a walk, free to express their love even if only in the cover of night.

#fairy tail #ftdadsau #ftglbtpride2020 #sildarts #ftlgbtales #silver x gildarts #I Take Pride In What I Am 2020 #fics #update #prompt: gift #dads pride 2020

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