#i don’t have beef with your son but i do with you now sir

[canadianfruitpunch]

got accused of having beef with a nine year old today lmao

#i hate parents don’t yell at me because you have to prove to someone that you have involvement in your kids life i literally don’t care #i don’t have beef with your son but i do with you now sir #this man wrote two pages of complaints about our supervisors and even quoted the website lmfao #he had an itemized list of thirty seven (37) reasons why we were wrong and he was right (he was wrong) #he also accused me of bias against his son because im friends with the other supervisor he already yelled at #i just feel bad for the kid tbh like he’s just there to swim and the dad pulls him out of the water every time #and makes him just stand there while he yells at the supervisors #like are you not embarrassed? acting like that in front of your child? #anyways #loveee my job

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#369

“Hey boy.  Come here.  I know I told you to stop following me around.  I didn’t mean it.  Shh shh.  No, stay here.  Nobody is nearby, so we can talk… for now.  Sorry I got nervous back there.  I usually don’t mess around when my wife was twenty or thirty feet away.  But damn, you couldn’t keep your eyes off my cock while I was pissing at the urinal.  It’s been a long time, and I couldn’t resist getting a fag on my dick.  And damn you did a good job.  You know, I’m just going to say this.  I want more….

“You live around here?...  That close?  So, you probably walked here?  Can’t say I blame ya with this parking nightmare.  You live alone?... Good.

“Hold on.  I need to text my wife…

“OK.  Look.  It’s been years since I used a fag.  And a decade or two since I really used a fag and used them hard core.  Lubbock doesn’t have much of a gay scene.  Finding a fag wanting to throat me, that just doesn’t happen anymore ever since I stopped going to Mackenzie Park a few years ago.  I went for a blowjob, and walked in on a cop arresting a fag for cruising.  Haven’t gone back since. 

“Wait a minute, didn’t you used to go to the park?...  You were one of my favorites….  Oh you remember?  Wait a minute… Wait a minute… Is that why you were following me around the flea market?...  Oh that’s too much.  I remember I used to skull fuck you, and you begged for more….  I forgot just how wild you queers can be. 

“Back when I was in the Corps—oh man—whenever I had leave, I would drive up from San Diego to Los Angeles.  I would go to this sex club in my service uniform.  The fags there would see me and throw themselves at my feet.  I learned early on that you fags are into some twisted shit.  I really got into just how depraved how fags would get just to serve a Marine in uniform.

“How about you?  You into twisted shit?...  I know you like to get skull fucked, but I’m talking about sweat and piss and spit.  Discipline and worship.  Shit like that. 

“Good.  Good.  When you were on your knees in the toilet begging to drink ‘Daddy’s load,’ I could tell it was natural role for you, just as it was easy for me to slip into that alpha supremacy role. 

“…Good news.  My wife text me back.  She’s going to be shopping for a few more hours.  I told her that I’ll be back to pick her up when she’s done.  So let’s go back to your place.  Get in. 

“You will direct me where to go….  What’s your name, son?...  Lachlan.  Nice name.  I like ‘Faggot.’  That sounds better.  I’m ‘Sir’ to you.  No, keep calling me ‘Daddy.’  I like that….  Which way?

“Slide over here next to me.  Snuggle up next to your dad.  Oh man.  You naturally fit there, son.  Go ahead, let your hand run where it wants to.  You’ll see what grade-A 100% Texas masculine beef feels like.

“Son, which house is yours?...  Uh, I kinda like ‘Son’ over ‘Faggot’ for your name. 

“Ok.  When we go in, you are to strip naked for me.  You understand that son?  Do you have any whisky?  Good.  Pour me a double over ice.  Lead the way.

“…Nice place.  Good thing you live alone?...  You should be stripping….  And my whisky?...  I’ll be here getting my Corona Gorda cigar going….

“…Mmmm.  Fuck.  Set the glass down there….  Before you get down on your hands and knees, let me see your naked body.  Turn around.  Mmmmm, nice ass.  I’m looking forward to cunting it in a bit.  Since I shot a load in your belly already at the Flea Market, my second load will take some time.  I can go for hours.

“But first, this bull daddy is going to enjoy a cigar and whisky.  And you can begin your worship of me.  Lick them boots.

“Fuck yeah.  Let me tell you how to lick a man’s boot.  Your tongue needs to travel over every square inch.  At no time should your tongue detach from my boot for more than a second.  I should also feel tongue pressure pretty much all the time.  When you lick the sole, look up at me.  Nothing gets me boned up like seeing a faggot connect with this superior while doing something so submissive.

“Fuck, I miss this.  Before moving back to Texas, I used to own this faggot from Irvine that I met at that sex club.  He was on the way home from work.  I would walk through his front door.  He would have a cigar and ice-cold Scotch waiting for me.  He would be on all fours waiting.  I would kick back and kick him and fuck him and use him.  When I moved back to Lubbock, I tried to get him to move out here to be my fag on the side.

“Move to the other boot.

“You interested in that?  You want to be my fag?  You know what?  You are a faggot through and through.  Let me say that again.  You want to be my son, Son?

“Good.  I may be 55, but I have the sex drive of a 15-year-old.  Expect to be used two or three times a week.  Who am I kidding, at least for the near future, I will be over here every day to drain my balls. 

“You do realize that you are submitting to my control and ownership.  No more other men for you, at least not unless I order you to.  Now, I’m not going to give up other fags for you, not that I have many faggots to pick from. 

“You also need to understand, I ain’t leaving my wife.  Not now.  Not ever.  It would be very wise for you to never to mention her.

“Do you have sex furniture of any type?  Sling, fuck bench, rimseat?  No.  What about restraints, dildoes, and so on?  No.  What kind of faggot are you?

“Ha!  Just teasing you there.  Next week I need to go to Dallas for an overnight.  You will come with me and be my bitch for the trip.  We need to buy some toys.  A fuck bench, a rimseat—you do eat ass right?

“You better.  Your tongue is going to be very intimate with my shithole.  That is the only thing that goes into my hole.  Don’t you ever try anything else.

“We’ll also get some restraints, gags, and so on.  Whips and…  You ever been beaten?  No?  Well good.  I finally get something to break you in.  You’ll be living under Daddy’s belt and whip.  I broke in the fag back in Irvine.  He loved it. 

“I need to get my whips out of storage, if I still even have it.  I’m going to do one hell of a number to your ass.

“…Did you just say ‘Thank you Sir’?

“Help me take these boots off….  Pants too….  I want a relaxing blowjob.

“…Ahhh that’s better.  Get up here, son, and give your daddy a kiss….  Not a peck like that.  Here…  That’s how you kiss, with lots of tongue.  Taste the cigar?  That’s how a real man from Texas tastes.

“Give me some head.  I was going to belt and fuck your ass, but I think I’m going to just chill here….  Your mouth feels real good.  Keep sucking until I tell you to stop.  If I should fall asleep, keep sucking.  If I have to piss, I won’t warn you, just drink it.

“Son, I’m glad you stalked me earlier.  This is going to be good.  I know it is.”

[spacehostilityy]

rewatch nnt with me s2ep13-18

Hey boiz this is a draft from the summer but i want to enjoy interests again so it's getting published (ps i have an even cringier sideblog now @sillyspacehostilityy where i can rb things and not clog up y'all's feeds heehee)

it’s going by so fast 😭 BUT im gonna reread/actually finish the manga so it’s fine

“what do you think youre doing with her???” he’s making out with her Jericho, it’s kinda obvious

“I don’t think i like you. 😕” kwjfnlfsfighskfgl lollll

NEW INTROOOOO my second fave theme song too hehe

also the angst on this one is so good

there goes ban’s shirt. again

I honestly love Elaine’s rage, i wish they had left her just a tiny bit more fucked up. bc he exploding like that makes sense after all that she’s been through

cat fightttt. this does NOT pass the bechdel test

“asleep or awake, you’re the only thing that man thinks about” ouchie

mmm mind control anguish delicious

ban hearing that meliodas is the “traitor of the demon race” and just rolling with it<3

“Oh wait that was two! sorryyy i lost count” such a sassy little man i love him

ban has a pure and beautiful soul🥺

catch me crying over melban hahahaaaa

hendy looks cute in the tavern uniform tho haha

:(

im just glad they kill galand quick so zhivago can return to his son in a peaceful death

the “dad” KILLS MEEEE

im in love with deldry. which i guess is her whole thing

deldry and arden tho... 👀👀👀

actually so impressed with Jericho

galand liking golf is canon. do with this information what you will

IM SO EXCITED FOR ESCANOR HEEHEE

wait how did i forget Escanor’s tavern is called my sweet glutton thats so cute🥺🥺

escanor is so babygirl i love him so fucking much

i love them so much too

IN ENGLISH ESCANOR SAYS HE’S FEELING CHARITABLE FOR LETTING MELASCULA GO BUT IN SPANISH HE SAYS HES FEELING FEMINIST LOLLLL

Ban and King brother in law relationship is actually the funniest possible relationship in this show

Diane constantly wanting to eat hawk sparks joy

gilfrost kinda hot, sad that hes literally just vivian :/

howzer saying “that’s our diane” after she uses double hammer and she winks at him...

theyre just rlly cute im sorrry

no bc why does sir nanashi seem like a western portrayed japanese stereotype in japanese media?

arthur and meliodas are so cute i want to see them interact more !!

I LOVE MELIODAS AND BAN SM their funny little deranged rituals are so cute 🤪

rip to arthur tho he looked terrified lol

im going to cry like a bitch when they get reunited in purgatory

why does meliodas call Hawk “bovine bastard”? Bovine means cow or beef. As someone from Texas, i am intimately familiar with livestock classifications and i am CONFUSED. it should be porcine

tiny griamore is so fucking cute on hendy’s back😭

but ban looks fucking terrifying what is up with his face lol

I cant believe escanor almost got fucking taken out by gloxinia lol hes so much stronger than him

the start of arthur and nanashi’s friendship !!

gloxinia’s substitute looking like gerheade 😭

shes so beautiful 🥺

I love the implication that Elaine WAS in fact going to kill them lol

Ban: I KNOW you didn’t just call me a baby *hand gets torn off*

Meliodas: uhh Ban, what just happened to your hand??

Ban: don’t you change the subject >:/

king is about to die from being too horny damn

bro why is dreyfus so fucking ripped bitch got me blushing like DAMN

#seven deadly sins #nanatsu no taizai #tess rambles #nnt #7ds #meliodas #elizabeth liones #elizabeth nnt #galand #melascula #rewatch nnt with me #tess rambles on her nnt rewatch #elaine nnt #elaine the fairy saint #ban nnt #arthur pendragon #arthur nnt #arthur sds

[lokitu]

Fast Food Rep, part 4

- commissioned and written by DeltaC -

iv.

Brat: Mommy mommy look, a hippo!

Mom: Oh Robert hush up!

John: Hey! Show that kid some manners will ya lady!!!

Scram kid before I tell my hungry hungry hubby to eat you up.

Mom: Well I never!

John: Trust me kid he hasn’t eaten in well over 15 minutes. Now scram!

Steve: John!

John: What? It’s true you haven’t eaten in 15 minutes.

Steve: I swear you are such an immature dork sometimes, but I do appreciate you scaring that little punk. You are so cute when you get defensive over me.

John: All in a day’s work my little cute hippo…well not quite little anymore these days huh?

Steve: Please don’t make hippo a thing.

John: Too late!

Steve: hmm frazzle razzle dazzle.

John: Awwww come here cutie. Let me give ya a big smooch.

***bump***

Oh right, there seems to be too much tummy between the two of us for a proper kiss.

Steve: Hehehe well you are lugging about the cutest lil dad belly there baby. I’m amazed how much you’ve gained in such little time. Keep this up and you’ll be filling out my fat hand me downs.

John: What, this? Oh this is just a bit of dirty bulk. Just a few extra days of cardio and I’ll be your beefed up muscle daddy again.

***Squeeze***

H-hey what was that for?

Steve: I don’t recall your last bulk leaving you with such plush love handles John.

John: Well, in case you haven’t noticed there buddy boy, between the two of us you are the one with supple tits and stretched out nipples. And that massive overhang paired with the loaves of love handles…muah! Absolute heaven on my lips as I kiss every square inch of you. Anywho, don’t get used to it. It’ll soon be gone.

**God I hope I can drop the added weight. All this stress eating from making sure Steve makes weight is wreaking havoc on my waistline. Deep down it feels right. It feels erotic having all this extra weight. I feel even more manlier than before. Do I really have to lose it?**

Steve: You don’t have to lose it. For what’s it worth I love the added weight on you baby. You are such a hot Papi. Plus, I’ve seen how turned on you get when you stuff me, and deep down I know gaining weight has flipped a switch inside of you. I know because I felt the same switch flip in me around your current size. I know that you want me fatter. And I know that you want to get just as fat…hmmm maybe fatter by the look of your groin. Plus, your booty is rounding out quite nicely, it must be all the muscle underneath the new padding.

Ohhh is someone blushing over there? Did I strike a nerve or two?

John: ummm…errr…well.

Steve: Hehe thought so.

Tailor: That does it for the back sir. Now, if you do not mind my asking, may I have you turn around for the final measurements?

Steve: Not at all my good man. Hey John, get ready for cake overload!

John: Whaaaa? Oh you dork! I am going to get…you…ba…ba…ba…bacon bites.

Steve: Hey John, my eyes are here! Well, through the mirror, but you know what I meant. Please excuse my husband over there. He always gets that dumb awestruck look on his face when he gets too much cake. Though I think he has been having too much cake as of late. Do you mind measuring him for new work shirts? As you can see, his belly is breaking out and those buttons are hanging on for dear life.

Tailor: Yes, of course!

John: Say, son, do you happen to know where your manager is? I have a bit of a proposition for him. My hubby here is the perfect model to represent the Elegant Hippo’s Evening Wear Big & Tall Shoppe.

Twitter | Instagram | Store | Patreon

[thefanciestborrower]

heya! so i saw your tang post from a bit ago and i was wondering if you have any hcs for everyone's favorite noodle nerd? thanks if you answer! (i love your art and writing btw it's the reason i come on tumblr)

Hi fellow Tang enjoyer!! I would be, more than happy to provide you with hcs because ima be honest I have the single biggest prey crush on him ever lmao. He’s just so!!!! Eatable!!!!

Also dude the fact that I’m the reason you came to tumblr is baffling like...I’m so so so so flattered you enjoy my content that much gosh! I remember the people I came to tumblr for and I honestly can’t fathom myself being that for someone else gosh 💕. Always open for asks or just chatting in general please I love making friends here. 

Anyways, on to the headcannons!

Tang is genuinely like, 99.9% prey because I mean just look at him 

Now that’s not to say he’d like being eaten really 

But. It happens 

He’s just very appetizing to MK’s more non-human friends who hang around the shop sometimes like Red Son

In the show Mei joked about him looking so sweet and that’s why he keeps nearly getting eaten, but I genuinely see him tasting way more savory than sweet 

He’s has this very salty savory kind of almost beef miso taste to him and it’s delicious 

Means he pairs incredibly well with Pigsy’s noodles 

And, because it’s Tang, you know he’s not gonna pass up a chance to hang out in a giant bowl of noodles no sir 

He’s gonna happily sit in there and eat his weight in soup 

And then probably pass out and take a nap in said soup 

One fun little thing I can see happening is Pigsy making a noodle dish specifically to pair with Tang’s flavor 

Not for eating, but more as a fun work of art and gift for Tang

Tang loves lounging as a fancy garnish it strokes his ego a bit and gives him all the food he could possibly want 

It’s a bit of a risky thing to do though cause MK will eat said soup

Though he’s nice enough to eat around Tang

Just gives him a little lick 

The times in which Tang does get eaten he’s loud 

So so so loud and whiny 

It’s gross and slimy and smells weird inside!

Doesn’t like it nope 

But that won’t keep him from getting eaten no sir 

He’s a little soft around the middle and isn’t incredibly strong so he goes down very easy 

And makes a great oral stim, provided you can ignore the yelling 

Wukong likes chewing on him cause it’s funny 

Now sometimes he can be a little more willing, and that’s pretty much either when he’s eaten by Mk or eaten with Mk

MK is a sweet guy who will let him out when asked so he doesn’t mind spending an hour or two inside

Sometimes Mei will eat him along with MK and shhhh don’t tell but that’s when he might get a little cuddly 

He’ll let MK sleep on him and honestly be super content with everything provided Mei isn’t too loud 

I have so many more thoughts lol but we stopping here for today 

#please I love him I love him so much #He’s my favorite character by like. A lot #silly noodle man I wanna eat him so badly #but since I cannot I will let him get eaten by other people #it’s funny #I have so many thoughts about the whole cast of this show actually so that’s fun lmao #ask #anon ask #soft vore #safe vore #fandom vore #g/t vore

[clonememesfrikyeah]

A list of things Hardcase has said as a trooper with seniority:

The 501st runs on ORANGE FORCE!

No running in the hanger bay only sprinting

ARISE MY SON, RAAAHHHHH!

When you- you- you- when you- when- when- wheeen- hhuuhnhu.

*scuttling around like a spider* skeet skirt mother fuckers

HUZZAH!

Veloci-fuck off i gotta take a shit

You know who else’s C equals 8? Not mine, that’s for sure. I cant do math.

*old man smoker voice* God damn it my eye! What the fuuuuuck! When I see captain Rex I’m gonna have a little talk with him about you!

Get off my back old man.

If I get struck by lightning and start speaking backwards in Portuguese again I swear-.

Kix said I’m not allowed within a 30 radius or marbles, pennies, antique sculptures, cursed artifacts, expensive items, whirlpools and VHS players. Sorry, we can’t hang out today:/

WHO SHIT MY PANTS?!

My frontal lobe is unhappy with you

Imagine needing hair-.

I’ll be back, I gotta go take my government mandated twice daily dump

*over coms* We need Hot Dogs to the Hot Dog stand at the Hot Dog cart on the Hot Dog floor on the Hot Dog level at Hot Dog land asap over

Has anyone seen my hairbrush?

If your a hoe and you know it clap your ass-

I’m judging you for that rum raisin ice cream

We may have sent this one a little bit too fucking far, but it was funny.

WHOEVER IS CROP DUSTING THIS HANGER NEED TO GO SEE A DOCTOR FOR THAT NUCLEAR LEVEL DUSE YOU GOTTA DROP GOD DAMN LAY OFF THE DORITOS AND EAT A SALAD ONE IN A WHILE MAN! (It was absolutely him)

Me. You. Denny’s parking lot. 2am. We beef like 2 raccoons fighting over a scallop. You feeling me bruh?

*over ships speakers* We got someone with an allergy at the Hot Dog stand, their allergic to hots and dogs, over.

Your dead to me, now give my my butane torch and can of cooking spray back or so help me-

We don’t talk about Bruno, OR the munitions incident of ‘09.

It’s always; where’s the nearest fire extinguisher, but never how is the nearest fire extinguisher.

Nothing 22 shots of tequila and a good old fashioned cheeseburger can’t fix.

QUICK THE FLOOR IS LAVA

What do I look like a lobster ventriloquist?

Under sir is everything control-.

I will not be ceasing or desisting thank you very much.

We don’t need a radio to sight the ship, just polish up Jesse’s head till it’s shiny like a mirror and we’ll signal them the old fashioned way.

When I was little I was dropped in my head by a droid and it made me go cross eyed.

#hardcase #clone trooper #tcw #the clone wars #Star Wars #incorrect clone wars quotes #the prequels #arc trooper #clones #the clones #the 501st legion #my post #clone wars

[koulakoukoula2003]

omgomgomg i am screaming (i am the anon who sent the rivetra ask) omg i never thought I'd meet someone who exactly had the same ideas as me omg i am freaking out hahahahhaaahha

ok first of all, 'no, I could've loved you so much more' is the perfect amount of pain i need omg that scene is so beautiful like heartbreakingly beautiful

and second, the choices you wrote on the last part i thought of it tooo!!!! Like everything, exactly the way i imagined!!! So imagine my excitement when I read it and finding out that we were thinking exactly the same omg!!!!! anyhoo, personally of all those choices, i'd like to combine the first and second one. Like Petra for some circumstances that i haven't thought of yet ends up being in the UNDERGROUND, working in a BROTHEL in order to FEND for her and HER SON. Imagine how Levi would feel when he finds out and realizes that this is like his childhood all over again. Like the nightmare he got out of, his son is now living it. And the hell his mother went through, the woman he loves is now suffering in it. Imagine his regret and the pain and the angst and this, i am squealing omg. But that's just for me. I'd also be very thrilled to read it your way. <3

Anyway i apologize for rambling too much about rivetra, but i really do appreciate you and i am very thankful that you indulge me in my angst cravings :)

OMG ANON LMFAO fewjrhgiu3oiq JFC I THOUGHT OF THAT TOO when I had just posted my previous reply to your ask I was like hmmmm why not both LMFAO

You, ma’am/sir/x, are a person of exquisite taste. You are a sadomasochistic little angel (like me) who loves torturing characters and crying over their torment at the same time LMFAO

Honestly having Levi going through this entire déjà vu, Petra going through the same shit his mom did and the same shit HE went through, now his son going through it as well like WE’RE GONNA BREAK THIS MAN SO BAD LMFAO

Ok ok ok ok imma write it like this. The heartbreaking scene happens (glad you like the dialogue, I use it in all my fics cuz im not creative at all and im out of ideas LMAO) and when she wakes up, she leaves him anyway (retiring and giving him the engagement ring and leaving).

Now, I gotta figure out why in the world would Petra wind up in the Underground 🤔🤔🤔 maybe she got abducted by some Underground crime lord that had beef with Levi and after finding out that Levi was engaged, he wanted to avenge him somehow, so he abducted his fiancé and put her in his ‘business’ 🤔🤔🤔

I GOT IT, I GOT IT, after Levi became a thug in the Underground, he went and found that brothel that his mom once worked in and he killed the owner of that entire business and freed the women who worked there. The owner of that business had a brother who rebuilt the business and wanted to avenge his brother’s death (whomst Levi had killed) so he abducted Levi’s fiancé.

I mean, I know Petra can def fight and fend for herself, but if she has no gear, no weapons at all and she’s surrounded by many many strong men that are twice her size, there’s really not much that she can do. Maybe she even tells them that Levi doesn’t care about her and that abducting her wouldn’t hurt him at all, but of course they don’t listen and they take her anyway while she’s actually pregnant to Levi’s child.

Goddammit anon, we’re evil as fuck LMFAO I love ppl like you, you know, we understand how important pain and struggle is in a story, because if there’s no pain and no struggle, then there is no story 🤷‍♀️it is that simple.

Ok imma write it like this (you probably got the entire thing spoilt) but TYSM for helping me figure it out, honestly, I had no idea what to do with Levi and Petra that’s why I kept them in the background (honestly i also kept it in the background cuz some rivetra fans are crazy af and i wanted no interaction with them but fuck it we die like men), but now I do know what to do AND IT’S THANKS TO YOU, ANON 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Hell, I might actually enjoy the rivetra of it more than the Erwin x OC LMFAO cuz the angst is stronger over there

Lemme know if I make you cry when I post those chapters COMMENTS HELP ME A LOT PLS. Those chapters will be exclusively rivetra bonus chapters and I’ll let y’all know by adding to the title of the chapter the word BONUS (I do it with all my fics).

Of course, that depends on me and my fight against writer’s block it.has.taken.me.two.days.to.finish.a.chapsklmdjdvngti3

also my buddy @shrekisshrimpthesimp wanted you to see this LMAO ENJOY THE PAIN I KNOW U LOVE IT WE ALL DO

#rivetra #levi ackerman x petral ral #levi ackerman #petra ral #come and read my fic and COMMENT ON IT #for the love of god pls comment LMAO

[morulezopelforever]

Some Snippets from my ATWD Khinkali Series

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3240997

If you like Merab, Irakli and their friends from the movie you will luuuuv them in my fics on Archive of our Own. Here are some tasty bits:

Mum walked in scratching and yawning, wearing an old bathrobe over flannel pyjamas and with her hair disheveled.

‘Ah, the dead have risen,’ Grandma sighed. ‘You’re never up this early.’

‘I am now. I woke from the cold. The heating is off. Is there any coffee going?’

‘No. For your information, the electricity was cut off...Again.’

Grandma, a little more visible now in the growing daylight, raised her hands like a priest dispensing a blessing.

‘You should marry your Mr. Lasha, Teona. He’s rich. You’re his cleaning lady, but you like him and he likes you. Have him marry you, then you and I can both finally rest.’

‘I won’t, Mother.’

‘Why not?’

‘His wife wouldn’t like it for one thing.’

‘Ay, ay, ay, what years we’ve lived.’

(From ‘’Another Glorious Day in Tbilisi’)

The Scotsman carefully dissected the construction with his spoon, took a bite and then spat it out.

‘What’s this?’ he roared. ‘You call this cottage pie?’

‘Quite an audacious remark for someone whose home town is famous for its deep-fried Mars bars,’ Ninutsa scoffed.

The other students giggled. ‘Quiet!’ Aleko snapped in Georgian.

The blond man was alternately gagging and drinking water.

‘This was frozen an then reheated, right?’ he asked David. ‘It’s definitely not fresh. It’s hard as a rock.’

‘My father owns a construction company,’ Sopo said calmly. ‘It was the easiest thing for me to scoop up some debris from a demolition site…There’s real cottage in that cottage pie, sir, so it’s as authentic as anything.’

(From ‘Joining Forces’)

Irakli went to the counter and drafted a glass. The pompons of his mariachi hat were dangling in front of his glasses, blocking his view and thus causing him to spill beer onto the floor.

Merab walked past, nearly slipped in the puddle but managed to come to a screeching halt on the heels of his cowboy boots. He smiled and mopped up the mess. ‘Love,’ Irakli whispered, feeling his heart contract at the sight of the beautiful creature who looked so angelic in his embroidered Mexican jacket. Then he took the beer to Ioseb’s table.

‘Have you chosen a dish yet?’ he asked.

Merab’s father nodded, smiling now. ‘Yes. I’d like a Sloppy Ioseb sandwich. Sounds good to me.’

‘Oh yes!’ Irakli confirmed. ‘Sopo created it in your honour.’

‘My future daughter-in-law is a lovely lass,’ Ioseb said. ‘And I am glad that Merab is finally doing something useful with his life under your influence.’

Irakli cast a glance at Merab, who was now clumsily drafting beer and singing Pistolero to amuse the guests at the counter.

‘Useful?’ Irakli said to Joseb. ‘Well, I’m trying my best, and…’

Joseb pointed at the menu. ‘And oh yes, I’d like some Mexikhinkali and eggplant fritters for a main course…Thanks, son.’

(From ‘Not in a Million Years’)

David wound his way through throngs of people down a lane at the Eliava Bazaar until he got to his father’s car part stall.

‘Morning, son,’ Ioseb greeted him. ‘Do sit down. Could you spare your old man a fag? Business has been bad lately.’

David offered him a cigarette, lit up one himself and settled on a crate.

‘What brings you here at such an early hour?’ Dad then asked. ‘Some beef with your girl?’

David shook his head. No, there’s no beef between Sopo and me, he thought, if only it were so because it would mean we were living together at our little flat undisturbed. Everything I wanted from watching football on TV to inviting my mates over for drinks and making love to her has been impossible ever since Aleko moved in, but I won’t tell Dad any of this.

‘It’s something else then,’ Dad tried. ‘Money trouble?’

‘No.’ In fact, he and Sopo were making loads and had no time to spend it.

Now Dad smiled. ‘Ah! So you’ve done what any man should do before he turns twenty-five…By the way, Sopo is older than you, it’s ridiculous…Anyhow, did it finally happen?’

‘I don’t understand, Dad.’

‘Did she have a visit from the Holy Spirit?’

‘What?’

‘She in the family way?’

‘What?’

Dad angrily stubbed out his cigarette. ‘You dumb calf…Did you get her pregnant?’

David felt anger surge within him. He and Sopo had decided not to start a family until she had earned her PhD, which would be some three years down the road.

‘No, nothing of that kind,’ he sighed. ‘I’m just tired. Our tenant is a nuisance.’

(From ‘Expansion’)

Ready for some fun? Read all about the adventures of Merab, Irakli, David, Sopo, Mary, Ninutsa, Luka and...Aleko under this link:

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3240997

#and then we danced #atwd fandom #merab x irakli #merab/irakli #read on ao3

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: Axis Powers Episode #34 Transcript

This episode has Italy's combat record, Germany as a tourist in Italy, the origin of nikujaga, and drawings.

Italy: Hmmm…emhm.

Japan: Hey, Italy. What is that you’re looking at?

(Italy: Huh?)

Italy: Oh, this? My combat record!

Japan: Oah!

(Italy: Mmpf!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Caption: Germany came to Italy for a little sightseeing}

Germany’s thoughts: It’s so sunny…is every day like this in Italy? I can feel the liveliness of the city. They’re singing wherever I go…now I understand why Goethe chose to immortalize this place in his poetry. If I could live in such a beautiful land, I would spend my days drinking and singing as well! I have an idea! Perhaps, while I am here, I should pretend as though I am Italian! I think I will fit in with the locals very well!

Germany: Huah!

Germany’s thoughts: Wunderbar…I will buy fruit from this man!

(Wunderbar: Wonderful → German)

(Romano: Si, si, grazie!)

(Si, si, grazie!: Yes, yes, thank you! → Italian)

Germany: Ciao! Pronto! Quanto costa?

{Caption: Hello. How much is this?}

Romano: Huahuahuah…

Germany: Ha…hahah…

Romano: Ciao, ciao!

(Ciao, ciao!: Hello, hello! → Italian)

Romano: Just…take it, please; they’re on the house!

Germany: Seriously?! Grazie!

(Grazie!: Thank you! → Italian)

Germany: Sehr gut…these Italians are surprisingly generous!

(Sehr gut: Very good → German)

Germany’s thoughts: I love this country…besides its general wussiness, there isn’t a thing about this place I don’t like.

Romano: Ehehehehehe…

Germany: Hahahaha!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Romano: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Japan: The son of Mr. Yoshida---he’s a bento shop owner---made Axis themed lunches for us. Would you like one? He actually made them specifically with our three countries in mind. Mine has rice with a pickled plum on top!

Italy: Yucky, that sounds tasteless! So, what does mine have in it?

Japan: Yours is pasta with a lovely stewed tomato sauce. For dessert, some zuccotto.

Italy: Yeah! That sounds good!

Germany: Do I get some?

Japan: Of course you do! You are a part of the mighty Axis as well! For you.

Germany: Auh…auh…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Japan: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Japan’s boss: Hey, Japan, what are you making for dinner tonight?

Japan: I’m cooking potatoes in broth along with fresh mountain vegetable.

Japan’s boss: I had some beef stew at Britain’s house once. Can we have that instead?

Japan: What? You want me to make British food? But it is so bland!

Japan’s boss: Thanks! I knew you’d do it!

Japan: What kind of fool want food from Britain when they could have something delicious I make? I can make better stew than Britain! I have the finest palette in the world! I am not certain how to make, but it will be better than anything from that tasteless island! Let me see, I will need beef, potato, a carrot…what else---a noodle! Soy sauce to make brown…wait, this doesn’t look right! Sir, stew is complete!

Japan’s boss: See? I knew you could do it!

Japan: I apologize if it is not correct.

{Caption: This is the dish later known as nikujaga}

Man [narrating]: This is the dish later known as nikujaga.

Japan, Japan’s boss: Nom nom…

Japan: I love it!

{Caption: Big Discovery!!}

Japan’s boss: Delicious!

Britain: YAHHH!

{Caption: Nikujaga}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Britain: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

America: Dude, rock out, I am awesomely the first one here! Now I can say…

Dream America: Say! Aren’t you running a little late?

America: Those losers are gonna totally feel, like, completely stupid, yo! Uah…

America’s thoughts: It’s Britain!

Britain: All right! That should do the trick! Hm!

{Text on blackboard #1: Italy}

{Text on blackboard #2: Germany}

{Text on blackboard #3: Japan}

America’s thoughts: The portraits…Britain was drawing them the whole time?!

(America: Auh…auh…auh…)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

America: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

China: What’s up with these weird drawings?!

France: They’re even worse than our actual animation! Who drew this crap? It does not capture the essence of my natural beauty!

{Caption: Pickax}

Britain: Yes, and I have a unibrow for some reason.

China: I think the ones at the bottom are best.

Russia: If that one is supposed to be of me…I’ll hack it out with my pickaxe!

China, Britain, France: You’ll what?!

America: Uhhh…well, that’s just annoying! Why would someone choose to draw us in such a fashion?! It’s unforgivable really! How dare that mysterious person flexibly express all of our individual characteristics with skilled sketches using boldly formed, innovative, and cutesy American pop art styles he probably learned in New York City!

{Caption: Blah, blah, blah, blah…}

Britain: So it was you.

China: You an ass!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

America: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

China: That’s unacceptable! I will draw all the portraits from now on!

America, France, Britain: Auh…uh…

(Russia: Hmhmhm!)

America, Russia, France, Britain: China…you’re a chick?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kumajiro: You are?

Canada: I’m Canada!

Greece’s cat: Meow!

Children: To be continued!

{Caption: Next time…}

#anime #anime transcripts #anime dub transcripts #hetalia #hetalia dub transcripts

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

#lol thank you for this ask tho #I havent gone on a good Spyral rant in months #it does wonders for my pores

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Season 4, Episode 10: An Extremely Chaotic and Incoherent Review

The Good:

LISTEN

LISTEN

YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE THESE GUYS PULL OUT THE MOST APT STAR WARS PREQUEL MEMES OF ALL TIME

AND NOT THINK I'M GONNA SHIP THE SHIT OUT OF THEM

DID ELI REALLY JUST SAY DEM SHOULD PULL AN "IT'S OVER ANAKIN I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND" ON ROBBY

WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

I can't with this man

I can 100% not tell if these boys are memeing or actually taking karate advice from the Star Wars prequels but honestly??? I fucking love it either way

Dumbasses (affectionate)

ALSO the absolutely doe-eyed way Eli looks at Demetri when he says "you're taller!!" Yeah you like your men taller, don't you, short king?

Come to think of it Eli has been basically nonstop giving Demetri doe eyes all season

Maybe that's just what his face looks like?

Nah he's still kinda smug smirking at the beginning of the season

But he does become very apt at looking like a sad puppy

I swear this fucker still looks at Demetri like he hung the sun though

Ohhhhh Demetri just going RUTHLESSLY at Robby fills me with LIFE

Demetri Alexopoulos and Robby Keene mortal enemies WHEN

Still morbidly satisfying to see all that paralysis, shaving, and dojo-betraying beef explode out of my boy Demetri in one fell swoop

Oh shit!!! The head kick!!! The THROWDOWN!!! We are at last seeing a glimpsed of the unhinged Demetri I have craved for so long, keep being scary my love

DID HE JUST DO THE "COME AT ME BRO" HAND MOVEMENT

OH HE IS SO PISSED

Seeing this gay nerd be aggressive and intense as hell is ascending me into nirvana

He has found his inner craving for violence and destruction, and I think that's very valid of him

Truly he and Eli are kindred spirits in ways S1 Demetri never could have imagined

You gotta love some irony

He's gone from yeeting out of every bad situation to being like "this dude shaved off my boyfriend's gay-ass hairdo and now I'm going to beat him to kingdom come"

You know what that is? GROWTH

Poor Daniel though, he's like "Oh no :( :( :( My karate sons are fighting :( :( :("

This man has too many karate children

He was The Karate Kid ONE time and then he was like "Shit I'd better raise 5 more"

Okay, it needs to be said: The Anthony-apologizes-to-Kenny scene 400000000% reads like Anthony has just the BIGGEST FUCKING GAY CRUSH on Kenny

"Uh...hey dude...I...uh...saw your match out there...and ...uh...uh...I saw Robby compete last year..."

Literally have not spoken this way once in my entire life to someone I did not hope to eventually kiss

I WILL say that as of right now, I am unsure if said crush is reciprocated, but like...

Anthony LaRusso has got it BAD

"Tell me how it felt" "Well like...not...great?" Me tryna impress my crush with my fire empathy skills be like

*Watches Kenny punch the crap out of Anthony* Yeah okay that's fair

*Grabs face* "Get ready for high school next year, because you're gonna be in a world of pain :D" UM

That DEFINITELY had some not-very-straight undertones and I refuse to elaborate beyond that

Actually this could very well be the beginning of a mutual violence-peppered homoerotic obsession

All right, game fucking on

"Anthony are you okay?" "LEAVE ME ALONE" "I just--" "I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE" *yeets away at top speed* I mean yeah I'd react like that too if my crush just punched me in the stomach 30 times

Are Demetri and Eli sitting next to each other while the Sam-Tory semifinals are going on ;_;

I'm headcanoning that Eli is helping to patch Demetri up and is holding ice packs to his bruises and stuff and no one can stop me

"IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY JOHNNY" Mr. John Kreese sir this is like the 5th time you've asked Johnny to join you, it ain't gonna happen

Kreese is really like the creepy friendzoned neckbeard guy who asked you out every few months in hopes you've magically changed your mind and are going to fall passionately in love with him

Like my dude just give it up already, it's never gonna happen

Local Evil Sensei Tries To Take A Jab At Former Student's Relationship With Adopted Son, Thinks It's Actually A Tactical Maneuver. More at 6

"Tonight, Cobra Kai's gonna die" YEAH YOU TELL HIM JOHNNY

ABSOLUTE CINEMA

Actually you know what??? Miguel actually LISTENED to his body and didn't push himself to the point of getting hurt, GOOD FOR HIM

Like everyone in this show takes this children's karate tournament too seriously and Miguel was like "this is all kinda bullshit actually"

PROUD OF HIM for doing something for himself and not to impress an adult!!!

MIGUEL AND SAMMMMMM

Ain't nothing can truly tear these wholesome karate straights apart ;___;

SAM'S IMMEDIATE CONCERN, AW

LOVE them bonding over their fathers/father figures being petty little bitches who are like "fight my way or Imma throw a fit wah wah"

"I just wanna let you know that..." *pained sigh* OH MY GOD HE WAS GONNA DROP AN "I LOVE YOU" WASN'T HE

OH LAWD

MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT

"I'm always rooting for you, Sam" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (affectionate)

LOVELY KISS 12/10

It's just so soft and sweet and I

Yeah they're in love sorry, no matter what arbitrary conflicts the plot throws at them!!! They'll find a way!!!

THE WAY MIGUEL WATCHES HER GOOOOO AAAAAAAAA

Poor Gianni Decenzo, he has to deal with tumblr user demetriandelibinaryboyfriends doing an in-depth analysis of his every facial expression

For example, when Eli says "this is my chance to get back at Robby for what he did to me" Demetri is looking at my boy with literally more soft concern and love than I've ever seen in my life

L M A O Demetri actually looks like he frowns a little bit when Daniel says "this fight isn't about him"

Like "actually Eli I think you have every right to pound him into the ground"

Yeah Eli!!! Atta boy!!! Find balance and stuff!!!

Retain the essence of the gay little purple mohawk!!!

Not Demetri looking anxious as hell as Eli walks out onto the mat

Nothing new but I just think it's neat

"He trained at Miyagi Do way longer than me" *cue intensely concerned look from Demetri* Okay fr how has Demetri not gotten an anxiety attack yet, with all this worrying about Eli he's doing

Eli wailing on Robby to avenge the 'hawk!!! We love to see it!!!

Love that Eli lands a massive fucking kick in the middle of Robby's stomach and Demetri just starts clapping in the background, this fucker is so proud and impressed and is daydreaming about giving Eli Moskowitz a victory kiss actually

Demetri goes from looking anxious as fuck in the background to smiling whenever Eli lands a hit, this motherfucker's in love sorry

Damn Eli you really tryna rip this fucker's shirt off?

Like listen I know you'd like to see men topless but this is not the time nor the place

Besides, Demetri would gladly do it if you asked nicely

"Any advice on the last point?" *cut to Demetri looking up at Eli like he hung every last star in the sky* THIS IS UNFAIR

Gianni and Jacob need to STOP looking at each other Like That because I know nothing's going to happen with it and it is KILLING me

“Give him all you got” *world’s most dramatic swell of music like this is the most profound advice in existence* I can’t with this show, it’s so fucking ridiculous (affectionate)

Okay yes it's been said many times before but they can't SERIOUSLY have Robby throw his gi to his girlfriend and then have Eli throw his gi to DEMETRI and NOT know damn well what that implies????

It's bad enough there's a shitton of Samiguel/Elimetri parallels, now there's Keenry parallels too????

Like what the fuck are you DOING with that if you don't want us to think these two are being foreshadowed to date??? Or like...be romantically involved in some way??? O_o

And uh...the way Eli looks Demetri dead in the eye and flexes/rolls his shoulders DOES NOT FUCKING HELP

Like what you doing showing off your body to Demetri like that??? What, you want him to touch it tenderly???

Absolutely loving Demetri's look of shock too, like "wAIT, HE'S INTO THIS??? HE'S ACTUALLY GAY FOR ME TOO???"

Took you long enough you IDIOT

Anyways so since Tory and Robby made out in a car and then Robby tossed Tory his gi, we can conclude that Eli and Demetri are going to make out in a car next season

Preferably while road tripping in Mexico looking for Miguel

Still a big fan of Demetri looking tense as hell in the background

I would have KILLED to get a more clear shot of Demetri's face when Robby had Eli pinned down and was about to punch him out

I'm betting he was fighting literally every instinct to run and save his mans

Demetri's face when Eli gets his shoulder hurt and winces in pain D:

FUCKING HELL

IF THEY DON'T WANT ME TO SHIP IT WHY DO THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THEY'RE IN LOVE

Demetri RUNNING to him when he wins, HELP

HOW LOUDLY HE'S CHEERING AND CLAPPING WHEN ELI TAKES THE TROPHY

My GOD have I never seen Demetri that happy and proud <3

And y'all were saying Demetri resents Eli's mad fighting skills and is intimidated by his ass-kicking abilities??? Get fucked

LOVE how jazzed Chris is about Eli winning, it’s so fucking pure

Love how wholly the Miyagi-Dos in general have forgiven Eli, even if we barely got to see it D:

"YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH" my GOD does this poor traumatized bird boy deserve that win

HELL YEAH I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, YOU FUNKY LITTLE HAWK MAN YOU

Real Keenry hours!!! Love how aware they are of each other's mental/emotional state and how quick they are to jump in and check in with each other

AMANDA AND TORY AAAAAAAAAA

Tory saying "thank you, I owe you" to Amanda is honestly a HUGE step, I'm proud of her! Accepting when other people want to help you and showing gratitude for it gives me hope she's on the way to a better headspace <3

Honestly good on Amanda for being so determined to help Tory! I'm with her, as juicy as the Sam-Tory rivalry is, I kind of hope that fight is gonna help end all the bullshit between them

Like they don't gotta be buddies but maybe they can like. Chill out with the trying to beat the crap out of each other and whatnot

Could it be??? Daniel and Johnny??? APOLOGIZING??? And admitting each other's karate and karate-teaching styles don't totally suck???

IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME

Like don't get me wrong, I'm irked as hell that it took this long, but better late than never

I CAN'T BELIEVE MIYAGI FANG IS CANON

FANSERVICE???

BUT AMAZING FANSERVICE

KARATE HUSBANDS BACK TOGETHER

When Sam's getting ready to fight, Demetri and Eli are talking in the background and Eli's just got this pure sweet little smile on his face ;__;

And Demetri's grinning at him too, probably telling him what a good job he did!!! I CRI

Y'know I warned y'all that I was gonna see these two standing next to each other and claim they were in love, and I was right

"Bonsai Badass" Damn right she is!!!

DANIEL CORRECTING THE ANNOUNCER THAT JOHNNY'S ALSO A TWO-TIME CHAMP AWWWWWWW

Is the show finally gonna let these two be homoerotic friends instead of homoerotic rivals????

One can only hope

I love Dem and Eli smiling and clapping proudly in the background when Johnny gets announced as a two-time AVT champ, like...that may be a disaster idiot chaos Sensei, but god damn it, that's our disaster idiot chaos Sensei!!!

LIVING for Sam and Johnny's relationship and I'd BETTER see more of it in Season 5, dammit!!!

JUST!!! The casual "all right LaRusso, you ready to kick some ass?" Like he has so much faith in her that he's not even really MODERATELY concerned about her not kicking ass. Iconic

"YES SENSEI!!! If...that's okay with my other sensei?" I am Dead

DANIEL GIVING SAM HIS BLESSING TO KICK ASS, LEGENDARY

Demetri and Eli being interested in the Sam-Tory fight in the background, but not looking like they're feeling the same kind of mind-numbing anxiety that they had to when they watched each other fight D:

ELI JUST CARRYING HIS HUGE-ASS TROPHY AROUND

AND PUTTING IT IN FRONT OF HIM WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE

Mohawk or no, there's definitely a Cocky Fuck streak in this boy and I love that for him

It's a super brief shot but Eli's face when Sam scores a point is ADORABLE

Samantha LaRusso and Eli Moskowitz chaotic battle besties WHEN?

I'm telling you, Sam, Eli, Demetri, and Miguel would be such a perfectly balanced (heh, geddit, BALANCE? Like Miyagi-Do???) squad

Like Eli and Sam would be the chaotic troublemakers and Demetri and Miguel are the tired-but-loyal good bois who try very hard to keep their significant others out of trouble

But occasionally Sam is a bad influence on Miguel and/or Eli is a bad influence on Demetri, and shenanigans occur ~"Your dad's right, every now and then" PLEASE

They are HUSBANDS

He's basically just saying "Mind your other father!" and it's EXCELLENT

I can't believe Samantha LaRusso has TWO karate dads now

It's honestly what she deserves

AW, Tory's genuine guilt over elbowing Sam D:

She's growing!!! I'm proud of her!!!

OHOOHOO THE EVIL KARATE HUSBANDS ARE FIGHTING AGAIN

SO SPICY

Ooooooohhhhh I am a BIG fan of that music that plays while Tory is circling Sam!!! Zesty AF!!!

DEMETRI BEING WORRIED IN THE BACKGROUND WHEN SAM GETS STOMACH-KICKED

Man poor Demetri, he's had to watch basically all of his friends get they asses beat in one afternoon

Except for Moon

And she kissed his crush so like

Still not a good time for our boy

"Hey, you all right?" *sobbing*

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS??? GROWTH

I'm so proud of Tory!!! Last season she was being a little shit but now she's my daughter and I love her!

Happy for her for winning that trophy!!! Like as much as I wanted Sam to win, Tory's had a rough go of it pretty much her whole life and it's awesome that she knows now that there's something she's unquestionably amazing at ;_;

AW JOHNNY RUBBING SAM'S BACK

THAT'S HIMS DAUGHTER

EMOTIONAL

Terry Silver being menacing and wreaking mayhem, love it

"What's an Uber" JOHNNY ABDUOZYLVCVWD

TORY'S FACE WHEN SHE FINDS OUT THE REF WAS BRIBED, NOOOOOOOO

YOOOOO this show knows how to make BITCHIN' night city shots

Okay you know what??? I wasn't really rooting for a Johnny-Robby reconciliation because Robby ain't obligated to forgive the most deadbeat dad in the world but FUCK

That hug scene was sweet, I'll admit it ;__;

"You had a good thing going with LaRusso and then I got in the way" YEAH SAY IT

You know what??? At least he's owning up to it

Hope for Daniel-Robby reconciliation??? Hope for Daniel-Robby reconciliation!

TERRY YOU SNAKE IN THE GRASS

No pun intended heh heh

Tfw you're getting too caught up in your gay crush, so you get him arrested so he can't distract you anymore

We've all been there, amirite???

Honestly good for him though, Kreese WAS being a shit to him

Always down for evil karate husbands drama!

Get fucked John Kreese, enjoy jail you big loser

I can't believe Terry Fucking Silver is running the karate scene in the valley now

Does this mean Demetri and Eli will finally get to dramatically protect each other next season

I sure fucking hope so

WAAAAAAH CITY NIGHT SHOTS

LOSING MY MIND

Am I easily impressed? Yes, and it makes my life tremendously better than it would be if I had high standards

NOOOOO MIGUEL DON'T GO YOU HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU SO MUCH

What you need another dad for??? You've already got not one but TWO karate dads, smh

Although in fairness I get wanting to define himself outside of karate, since he more or less MADE karate his identity for like...2 years

"Don't worry I'll be safe" YOU'RE A 17 YEAR OLD DUDE ALONE IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO TRAVELING BY BUS I AM NOT REASSURED

YEAH JOHNNY GO GET YOUR KARATE SON PLEASE

Take Demetri, Eli, and Sam while you're at it!!! That's their boy and they love him!!!

I feel like at LEAST Sam is gonna twist his arm until he lets her tag along

And then Dem and Eli are gonna follow him anyways XD

Yeah yeah something something "they have to participate in the karate war!" Okay but have you considered that I want them to go on a homoerotic road trip of self-discovery to find their bestie?

AH HEY WHAT UP CHOZEN MY MAN

I guess you could say he’s been...chozen to help

The Bad:

Whilst Demetri becoming Mildly Unhinged during his Robby fight is excellent, I would like to see him be even more unhinged

Like take that unhinged and multiply it by at least 3

I just think Mr. Demetri Alexopoulos should get to become extremely angry and scary and freak out the entirety of the AVT audience with his rage

As a treat

I know I have said this before but I truly cannot emphasize it enough

Also that fight was over way too damn fast, like

While I understand why Dem lost, I wanted him to wail on Robby for at least twice as long before he got beat

Johnny nagging Miguel to keep fighting after his back acts up??? Mmmmmm I don't like this, I don't like this at all

It just feels kinda icky and OOC??? Like I feel like Johnny would NEVER push Miguel to fight if there was a chance he could get seriously hurt again, like

Miguel breaking his back and getting paralyzed FUCKED Johnny up, I feel like he'd freak out if there was like...even a SMALL chance that injury could relapse and Miguel could get seriously hurt again

Like I feel like (especially since he's dating Carmen now) he'd go into Overprotective Dad Mode like "NO if your back is acting up you gotta go home because I am NOT letting you get hurt again"

Like yes I know the dojo's at stake here, but like...I still think ultimately Johnny would value Miguel's safety more???

Oh my god is her seriously bringing his petty Daniel beef into this???

Y'ALL SHOULD SERIOUSLY BE OVER THIS NONSENSE BY NOW

Smdh

I don't know whether to laugh or cry over the fact that this show genuinely thinks that occasionally panning to a shot of Moon cheering and clapping for Eli is going to make us ship them

Like Demetri is also cheering and clapping for Eli and we get like 10x as many shots of it so idk what to tell you

I think Hawk should have tried to tear Demetri's shirt off during one of their S2 or S3 fights

I think that would've been funny

Like why does Robby get the shirt-tearing treatment but Demetri never did, when Demetri's the one Hawk is painfully horny for???

I'd like to speak to management

Okay listen if the throwing-gi-to-SO parallel with Keenry AND the looking-Demetri-dead-in-the-eyes-and-flexing bit both turn out to just be even more egregious queerbaiting I am going to murder someone

Like you don't just accidentally make that many gay writing choices

I have a bad feeling these fuckers are leading us all on for Potential Diversity Points and I'm gonna smack a bitch over it

LET THE KARATE NERDS DATE

Ffs Eli covered up his Moon tattoo with a GRIM REAPER TATTOO, if this isn't the PERFECT narrative symbolism for that relationship being dead!!!

LET IT STAY DEAD!!!

Man I'm getting fired up again

I should start martial arts up again so I can kick and punch and elbow my queerbaiting anger away

Mentioned earlier but hey Mr. Cobra Kai sir??? It is an actual CRIME that we did not get to see Demetri's face when Eli was pinned down and about to be KO'ed with a big boi punch

Was he terrified??? Was he brutally enraged and ready to commit murder??? Was he both??? FUCKING TELL ME

Look as much as I love Chris and I love him bear-hugging Eli

I'm gonna say it, it should have been Demetri

Why will this show not let these two have just the biggest fucking bear hug??? Are y'all worried it's gonna look too gay????

Really far too late to cover your bases there

Also I need my headcanon to be fed that Demetri is stingy with physical affection with everyone except for Eli

Anyways if this show ain't gonna let Demetri and Eli kiss the LEAST they can do is give me a very long and very warm hug!!!

Lmfao there's Moon again

What, like she can't cheer for her friends platonically??? Fuck all the way OFF, the fact that she is not allowed to be a platonic cheerleader for both Dem and Eli is character assassination actually

Look I just think Demetri should have been allowed to give Eli one (1) victory smooch in front of the entire AVT audience after Eli won

Maybe even two!!!

TELL me that shit wouldn't have been poetic fucking cinema

Like talk about a way to restore Eli's confidence!!!

“I'm proud of you and I'm proud to love you and I'm going to show both of these things off to the entire world actually”

Bonus points if Demetri lifts up Eli with his absurd upper body strength like in that one behind the scenes pic

And just lets Eli sit on his hands while they smooch basically

Like just an AVT karate champion and his adoring boyfriend who would do anything for him, don't mind them

Anyways Demetri has been like...infinitely more actively supportive of Eli's karate endeavors and Eli in general this season than Moon

Like he is fucking THERE for Eli through everything and helps and encourages him throughout the tournament and tells him that he is Better Than He Thinks He Is and is SO DAMN PROUD of him when he wins

Meanwhile Moon had like...two polite exchanges with him over the course of an ENTIRE SEASON and she was mildly friendly and encouraging, so they HAVE to date I guess

Anyways it's some bullshit

I hate this ship so much

Whilst I am THRILLED that Daniel and Johnny are reconciling and teaming up again, I am BEYOND frustrated that it took this damn long

"Just for today" Why tho??? Ya'll fuckers have CLEARLY seen that the kids benefit from learning both styles and combining them, so why not make this combined dojo learning business a semi-regular thing???

I get being this stubborn and insistent about your karate method back in like...S1 and S2

But these dudes should really be over this by now

Like have y'all writers heard of CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT???

LET JOHNNY AND DANIEL GROW PAST THEIR STUPID SHALLOW RIVALRY AND LET IT ACTUALLY STICK

So I get Kreese finally starting to feel a little bad about what he did to Johnny, but like...that alone isn't supposed to redeem him, right??? RIGHT???

Like having him not be 100% evil and giving him a redeeming/humanizing trait is all fine and good, BUT

That alone isn't enough to make up for like...50+ years of fuckery and being generally a rancid piece of shit

Anyways happy this fucker's in jail now actually

Wish he coulda taken his ex-husband with him, but I guess you can't have everything

I'm really happy for Tory but I'm still bummed Sam didn't get that win D:

I stan both of these queens now and I have a feeling it's going to make my life a lot harder

Mmmmmm Kyler's arm around Kenny in the background, don't like it don't like it don't like it don't like it one bit

DON'T TOUCH MY BOY

Okay, if no one else is gonna say it, then I will: The hug and Robby breakdown scene should've been between Daniel and Robby

Like Robby!!! My darling!!! My love!!! WHY did you follow Johnny instead of Daniel if you wanted comfort??? This man has been MIA for most of your life and is flaky and unreliable as all hell

Like yes Daniel could easily still be pissed at you but I feel like he would work with you if he saw you were genuinely Going Through It

Anyways it makes a lot more logical and narrative sense for Robby to follow and try to reconcile with Daniel actually

"I'm sick of blaming you, dad" Okay, but consider: He's been an extremely crappy dad and you can and should blame him for it

If anything it should be like "I'm sick of blaming Miguel" or something, because this whole mess between Johnny and Robby is truly and wholly NOT Miguel's fault

Like, again, it's not on Miguel if Johnny just feels more of a connection with him than Robby

Okay but where is Robby in the last scene??? Does he live with Johnny now??? Did he leave Cobra Kai??? Is he still crashing at the dojo or what??? I NEED to know

I'm sure we'll find out next season but logistically it is BUGGING me

So like. While I understand why he did it, I'm still upset that Miguel just yeeted off to Mexico without telling most of his loved ones???

Like what of your girlfriend??? Your two best friends??? Your karate dad #2 Daniel LaRusso??? They all love you very much and they're all going to be worried sick about you!!! For shame!!!

And even the people who DO know where you are are gonna be worried out of their minds!!! For DOUBLE shame!!!

Going on a self-discovery road trip by yourself at age 17 in a foreign country and not letting most of your loving support system know where you vanished off to is VERY rude, Miguel

This dude deadass has two father figures already, what you need a third one for???

Like yes I get you're mad at your karate dads right now but they still love you!!! You should talk with them and explain how you're feeling and how you want to define yourself outside of karate instead of Ubering off into the sunset without a trace!!!

Also they barely did anything with Daniel's Terry Silver trauma so they can go full ham diving into it next season, right??? RIGHT???

I can't believe you're making me wait until next season to see Demetri, Sam, and Eli's reaction to Miguel literally fleeing the country

pLEASE I just want them all to hold each other and have a good cry about it

I know I would!!!

In summary: Season 5 needs homoerotic road trips and for my boy Miguel Diaz to know and accept that he is very loved. Stay tuned for brand-new binary boyfriends headcanons, lesbian content, and me rambling about all the things I want to happen next season!!! It’s been real and very very gay, and I plan to give you even more gay as we go on!

#hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #binary boyfriends #hawkmeat #elimetri #eli x demetri #demetri x hawk #eli moskowitz #hawk #demetri alexopoulos #demetri cobra kai #robby keene #johnny lawrence #john kreese #daniel larusso #miguel diaz #samantha larusso #sam larusso #samiguel #anthony larusso #kenny payne #anthenny #tory nichols #keenry #kyler park #moon cobra kai #amanda larusso #terry silver #cobra kai #cobra kai season 4

[nagdabbit]

MY GIRLFRIEND'S COMMENTARY WHILE WATCHING HER FIRST AEW PPV

"my entire fitness goal is hook's shoulder-waist ratio, but with taz's extremely dense neck."

"the funniest thing about wrestling is that this fucking company is trying to make something called a stadium stampede sound both cool, AND serious."

gf: "if you cry listening to a crowd sing judas again, im divorcing you." me: "so that means youre gonna marry me." gf: "i've been bamboozled."

about brian cage: "this man is a huge dork. like, literally, i could fit me in him."

"i dunno what it is, but i would die to protect mr. hangman. he hunk, but he also baby."

thoughtfully, "i bet i could just catch you out of the air like that. i mean, i can squat you, i could probably even curl you like that, too."

because she is deeply in wrestling twitter now: "HOOK! babe, look, its hook! hook hive, rise up!"

"what i love about this feud is that all these men are fuckin' idiots. no brain cells, just shoes and fwiendship."

"what do you mean their tag team isn't just the wild boys, wtf? missed opportunity."

"those kicks are ugly, but i would steal them, too, honestly." *thirty seconds of silence layer* "for you, babe. i'd steal them for you, i mean."

"jon, no, the germs, jon, jesus christ, please dont drink that jon you dumbass."

"i love eddie, but i'm pretty sure we should never hang out. too much extremely new york energy, we would get arrested in like ten minutes. possibly less."

"diorsday device is the funniest shit ive ever fucking heard, how goddamn sad is that."

"max caster is gonna get murdered, but i love him."

"i wish bowens and his extremely attractive boyfriend the best in life."

"colt cabana and tay conti are tied for best smile in wrestling, but tay wins because i dont want colt to kick me in the face."

"penta is the only joker i formally recognize."

"today i found out that some people don't like stu and uno, and to them i say get entirely fucked."

after rush came out and i lost my entire shit: "i don't fully understand yet, but i support you." *one minute later* "oooooooooooohh. okay, yeah."

gf: "i enjoy that cody is pushing ogogo by being a dumb bitch with this america schtick." me: "you gonna say that when cody wins?" gf: "...fuck."

"ogogo got that guy ritchie movie ass music you love to see it."

"you were right about cody and i fuckin' hate it."

"aw yeah, its big boi season."

about miro: "i'm very gay, but the thing is, men with extremely jacked traps just do something to me."

"lance changed changed the color of his extensions and i appreciate that." *thirty seconds later* "are those... three crosses? tattooed on his back? jesus doesnt like murder, i don't think he likes murderhawks, either."

"britt baker is the only dentist i want in my mouth. no, wait, don't type that one!"

"oh, fuck, shidas getting teary i'm gonna fuckin cry, oh fuck, i get it now, i'm so sorry i made fun of you, i love her."

"oh fuck, shida knee me directly in the face."

"britt scares me. like the blood drip details on her gear are really cool, but i would legit believe its real blood from her."

"are you really crying about britt and the nice announcer man hugging?"

"hey, quick question, just real quick while ive got you here... why is the emo twink... like this?"

"darby's dad looks like my dad, and i'll never be okay with that."

"i like that darby just yeets himself around like that. he came in like a wrecking ball. a tiny, tiny wrecking ball."

"sting just tossing his son around the ring like that is very good, but, sir, that's bad parenting."

"the thing about sky and page is that these are the suburb guys i beat up at the beach on summer vacation. they have big "i robbed these guys at the pier" energy."

"damn, darby just feels his emotion with his entire face, doesnt he."

"okay explain the gambling thing and WHY it's a thing."

"orange rolling into the ring is so fucking good, that man is national treasure."

after me showing her the video of younger orange cassidy shitfaced and holding a fish for no reason: "i am shocked and appalled that you're only showing me this now."

after explaining the history of the jansport: "the range of this dumbass."

"i get that kenny is good and all, but his hair really fucks me up. it's upsettingly bad and i hope he knows that."

"pac is just. so much muscle. flippy beef man. a meateor." she did specify how to spell it for the joke because it was important.

"that man is a weeb, isnt he."

"something about a man breaking a hold by putting his hands in his pockets really gets me hype."

"fuck just murder omega and be done i hate this, put it on the beef man or the juicey boy already."

"babe, ill be right back i gotta murder this callis bitch."

screaming, "THAT'S MY FAVORITE REF, YOU UGLY FUCK!"

after kenny won: "i fucking hate wrestling, this is bullshit."

"holy fuck, babe, i forgot mark henry was a wrestle boy! i know him from the olympics!"

"hey, is mark henry bigger than large paul?"

"mjf is a dumb bitch and i love him."

"hey, quick question, who thought repelling down the stadium would look cool, they're so far away."

"there's wardlow, my sweet boy. this is cool now."

she laughed for a solid two minutes at tony schiavone saying, "here comes the little guy."

"i fuckin hate hager. kill him wardlow, kill that crispy maga ass bitch."

"okay what's with the chairs." *after a brief explanation of the chairshot heard round the world* "and, like, he can't just pick a new gimmick? it's been two years, bro. move on, shes not coming back."

"okay, i admit that this is great and i love it, kill that old man on the dancefloor."

upon learning this is technically the main event: "you mean it's over after this? theyre ending the show on THIS? not the triple threat match, this?"

"i just noticed mjf's bedazzled jeans, i'm not angry anymore, this is perfect."

"no, more wardlow. gimme the beef."

"christ, sammy guevara is kinda incredible and i'm fuckin angry about it. why cant inner circle be just sammy and santana and ortiz, fuck the other two."

"no, shut up! i refuse to sing along to this! whats wrong with you?! this is a bad song!"

#aew double or nothing #aew #all elite wrestling #brian cage #hangman adam page #jon moxely #eddie kingston #young bucks #the acclaimed #dark order #penta el zero m #anthony ogogo #lio rush #miro #lance archer #dr britt baker dmd #hikaru shida #darby allin #sting #orange cassidy #kenny omega #pac #tony schiavone #stadium stampede #bryce remsburg #wardlow #mark henry #shit my gf says

[mommymooze]

The Dating Game!

Lights are flashing different colors on the words written on the wall. Cheezy trumpet music blares as the announcer speaks,”“Welcome! Welcome! to Fodlan’s greatest craze, the Dating Game, and here’s your host, Chuck Margolis!!”

“Hey, Hey lovers, its Chuck Margolis here with you again for the Dating game! We have a new lucky lady as our contestant and three available bachelors ready to play our game. At the end of the show, our lucky lady will choose who she will go out with on their date!” The MC is boisterous and walking quickly about the stage.

“First, let’s meet the men that are vying for our beauty’s attention.

A light shines brightly over the head of the first seated male. The announcer begins, “Hailing from Fraldarius territory in the Kingdom is none other than the son of the Duke himself, Felix Fraldarius. Felix is a swordsman.”

The announcer goes quiet, you can hear him talking to someone “but that’s all he wrote, what else can I say?”

Chuck steps up, waving in the direction of the men. “Welcome Felix!” he announces too boisterously for the succinct introduction. Felix grimaces in return

A second light comes on, shining on the next seated male. The announcer, “Hailing from the Leicester Alliance is Raphael Kirsten. He is studying to be a Knight but hopes someday to open his own restaurant. He loves his little sister and building his muscles.”

“Greetings soon to be Sir Raphael!” Chuck bows dramatically. Raphael waves eagerly and smiles widely.

The light finally illuminates the last chair on the stage revealing a sleeping male. Our announcer, “Direct from Enbarr to you is Linhardt von Hevring. A proven healer and self-proclaimed genius, Linhardt’s interest focuses primarily on the study of Crests. He also enjoys fishing and naps.” The green haired man is fast asleep sitting up on his chair.

Chuck chortles, “He seems to be enjoying himself with a nap right now!”

Now we will bring out our fair maiden, we’ve kept her in a silenced room to not find out about our handsome bachelors. She will have to ask them questions in order to determine which one she will invite on a date at our expense.

“Let’s welcome the lovely--- Sailor!” Chuck proclaims.

The announcer reads her details, “Born in the Kingdom’s territory our guest originally hails from the Kleiman region. She’s 20 years old, 5’11’’ tall and until recently worked as a ship hand on the Flying Mermaid. She’s come to Garreg Mach to find her destiny and also to find true love!”

“Welcome, Sailor! Aren’t you a beauty. I bet you would love romantic strolls along the beach, eh?” Chuck makes waggly eyebrows at her.

“I suppose.” She smiles, quite confused at all of this.

“Well, Miss Sailor, it’s time for you to ask questions of the eligible bachelors on the other side of the wall in hopes of gaining a date with them, and who knows, perhaps you will fall in love…” Chuck waggles his eyebrows.

Sailor gets comfortable in her chair. “Okay, Bachelor number 2. What is your favorite time of the day?”

Raphael thinks for a second. “Well, I gotta say lunch time, no, dinner time, wait. MEAL TIME. That’s the best, makes me hungry just thinking about it.”

She nods while listening to him speak. “Bachelor number 1, same question.”

Felix groans. “When it is time to spar, or time to fight. You must spar to get strong, if you are not the strongest, you will die.”

Sailor nods at his response. “Bachelor number 3, same question.”

Raph nudges Linhardt in his very loud whisper voice, “Dude, you’re up.”

Linhardt yawns and stretches. “Is it nap time yet? That’s my favorite time of day.”

From him that seems to Make sense. Sailor agrees. “Next question If I were to turn the tables and get you flowers, what kind should I get you? Number 1?”

Felix, “Why am I here? I don’t care about flowers. I just need a sword and a target and I’m fine.” He grunts, crossing his arms and frowning more fiercely.

“Number 3?” Sailor asks.

“Urughhh” Lin yawns again. “Camomile is a wonderful flower, it makes the perfect tea to relax you and give you pleasant dreams when sleeping.”

Sailor, smiling: “Number 2?”

Raphael is all excited, “I was at this amazing restaurant and this Chef made flowers out of meat sticks and bacon! It was the most beautiful thing I ever seen. Give me those flowers,yeah!”

Sailor laughs pleasantly. Just like it said on the card for her to do. “Bachelor 3, what is your favorite smell?”

Linhardt looks wistfully into the distance, “Freshly laundered sheets, hung out in the sunshine, they smell like a beautiful day, perfect for sleep. “

“Bachelor 2?”

Raph drools, “The smell of pure protein cooking! Gotta build my muscles, I got lots but always need more!”

Bachelor 1?

Felix grunts, “The smell of steel, sweat and hard work. “

Sailor reads the card, “Ok. I am making a huge beef roast. Perfectly spiced, rare in the middle. Will you be joining me for dinner?”

Bachelor 1? “I suppose”

Bachelor 2? “Yeah, let me at it. Sounds delish!”

Bachelor 3? “Eueggh blood. Count me out.”

Ding!! Ding!!!

Chuch stqnds next to the girl, having her stand and moving the chair back. “That is our signal. That is all the time she has! Our beautiful contestant must now choose the lucky person she will go on an all expenses date with. Will it be bachelor 1, bachelor 2 or bachelor 3?

Sailor looks a little panicked. “Oh. This is so sudden..hmm. Who should I pick” :::Nibbles on fingernails::: “I choose….I choose…Bachelor 2!”

Chuck pats her on the shoulder. “Okay. But first let’s meet the 2 you did not choose. Bachelor 1, come on over. It’s the son of duke Fraldarius himself, Felix!”

Felix stomps around the corner nods his head and walks off the other end of the stage. Chuck keeps the show rolling. “Here is bachelor 3, Linhardt von Hevring. An aspiring crestologist in the territory that shares his name.” Linhardt politely walks up to the girl, shakes her hand and kisses her cheek. He then notices the comfy chair behind her and lays back on it to get more sleept.

Chuck waves his hand, “And here is the big reveal, you chose bachelor 2, Raphael.!! A knight in training and loving brother to his baby sister maya!!!”

Raphael comes around the corner and is all smiles and flexing his muscles. He shakes her hand then turns beet red when he kisses her on the cheek.

Chuck continues: “Congratulations you two! You’ve won an all expense paid holiday in Remire Village!. The quaint getaway spot at the foot of the Oghma mountains. The wildlife is plentiful, and the feasting is incredible!”

Raphael gives a cheer. “I can’t wait.!!” He gets so excited he picks up his date and starts lifting her up and down over his head. “Yeah!”

See you next time on the Dating Game!

Side note: My husband watches too many old tv shows. Got this stuck in my head. Enjoy.

#fe16 #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #felix hugo fraldarius #raphael kirsten #linhardt von hevring #linhardt fire emblem

[the-lady-writes-what]

Wintertide Cabin with Enji Todoroki

Contents: mild angst, manga spoilers, smut, DILF

You come across the fallen hero formerly known as Endeavor. He’s just Enji Todoroki now, living off the land and far away from people. You take pity on the man who fell from grace but has accepted this as his punishment. There’s still something decent left inside of him that makes him rescue you from the snow one blistering cold night. 

Whispers on the street as you passed was almost as numerous as the snowflakes gently falling on the ground. In each arm, you loaded yourself up with groceries. It wasn’t you who garnered the hateful looks and angry whispers. Sauntering down the street, you saw his back walking away from the store. You saw straight ahead and above the scattered crowd of shoppers a man standing tall and looking ahead of him. You saw his red hair with graying sides making his way out of the street. Shoppers parted around him like the Red Sea. He was a pariah. 

“Can you believe he still has the nerve to show his face in public? After all he did to his family?” You overheard one woman speak. 

You looked and found a couple of old women glaring at the back of the man walking away. Their sharp eyes narrowed on the back of his head like bullets aimed at his head. 

“He called himself a hero.” The other old lady spat on the ground. 

You adjusted the bags in your arms and started heading for your car. Bags were loaded in the backseat. By the time you looked, the fallen hero’s head was a mere red speck against the white and green background of his surroundings. Ice covered the sidewalks, but you looked at the ground where he tread to find his footprints leaving patches of melted ice. 

How many years was it since that day when all hell broke loose? When the missing son of Endeavor aired out the family’s dirty laundry? You remembered the look of shame and how years added to his features when he openly admitted to his misdeeds and stepped down. He disappeared for a time. You were relieved when he was out of the lime-light. Shoto, his youngest, stepped forward and rekindled respect for the Todoroki name, but that didn’t mean everyone forgave his father. You weren’t sure that End--Enji Todoroki deserved any redemption or forgiveness, though it wasn’t your call to make. You were not personally touched by his greed and desperation to outshine All Might, you were only a witness to Endeavor’s plummet from grace. The image of the older man plagued your mind even as you turned the car’s ignition and drove up the street. 

A red light. You pulled to a slow stop, taking into account the snow and ice on the road. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted him again. The fallen, disgraced hero. He was still looking ahead of him, likely to ignore the stares and sneers from passers-by. He was loaded with canvas bags in each arm and a backpack strapped to his shoulders. Enji didn’t look poor, but he also didn’t look like someone on top of the world. His boots had seen better days. They were covered in mud and scuff marks. While his coat wasn’t threadbare, Enji wore dark woolen trench coat that showed signs of wear and tear. Even from your car, you saw the misshapen patches where Enji’s large fingers clumsily sewed up. 

HONK, HONK

You looked up to find that the light had changed. Driving slowly, you continued your course. He was still there, however, in the corner of your eye. Until he tripped and spilled the contents of his bags over the sidewalk. In your rearview mirror, you saw him twice as old as he should be, picking up things. People walked past either ignoring him or jeering. Once he was out of sight, you stopped thinking about him. At least tried to. For the most part, the image of the fallen hero picking up his groceries after a fall faded but somehow lingered in the back of your mind on the drive home. 

“Will you be home for New Year’s?”

“Your father would be happy to see you,” said Mom on the phone.

Your bottom lip tinged dark at your mother’s question. Christmas was tomorrow and you weren’t expected home for then, but your mom wanted you home for New Year’s. Home seemed like it was on the other side of the world.

It was a lie, of course. Your father hadn’t spoken to you in years ever since...the accident. You could still see his enraged face when he turned you out of the house, calling you all sorts of names. Drunkard, he said. Waste of space. Your mother, bless her, could only do so much damage control and peacekeeping. You weren’t going to be setting a foot in that house for a long time.

“We’ll see,” you said.

There were other pleasantries before you hung up the phone. You could tell that your mom had other things to say, but there was too much right now. Too much for you.

You looked out the window of your kitchen. Snow continued to fall and blanket everything in sight. Hills, treetops, and the town overshadowed by the silver mountains. Slivers of sunlight managed to break through the soft gray clouds and cast a warm glow. The oven timer went off. You leaped across the kitchen, donned a pair of oven mitts, and turned it off. With care, you took out an apple pie. It cooled for a while before you wrapped it up and put it inside an insulated bag.

For the next hour, you changed clothes and fixed your hair and make-up. In spite of the snow, you were determined to reach a friend’s house to avoid sitting home alone again. Your fingers brushed a scar on your neck and a stabbing pain pierced through your heart like an icicle. You quickly pulled it away as if scorched by fire.

You wrapped your scarf around your head and face to keep it from flying off. You squinted in the storm as hot tears ran down from your eyes thank to the blistering winds slapping your face. One step at a time, you marched through the hills, the mountains of snow. It didn’t take long before the shivering started. You looked back but your car disappeared amongst the white hills. And ahead of you was a small dim fire, beckoning like a lighthouse.

After centuries of plodding through the snow, which now entered your boots, you climbed up the little hill. The small, dim fire was followed by several windows bathed in warm light. Smoke rose up through the chimney to be suffocated by the howling winds. Your hand shook as you raised your fist and banged on the door. You stood on the doorstep of the stranger’s house for several agonizing moments. You hear anything above the wind and shivering limbs of trees.

Thud, thud, thud, thud.

Mother Nature’s white fury blasted against your car. Even with your high beams on, you squinted into the storm-tossed shadows. On either side of you, walls of snow started boxing you in. If you didn’t get out now, you were stuck. You’d be buried alive. You stopped the car. No matter that it was in the middle of the road, you were climbing out before you drowned in the snow. In a fit of rage, you kicked the door open. You left everything behind in your car as you plodded away.

Whoever was behind that door must have been wide as they were tall. It took you a moment to realize just how tall the doorframe was. You hissed when the bright light of the cabin stung your eyes. The stranger opened the door and his shadow passed over you.

You blinked up at him, unsure at first what you were seeing. The scarred face of Enji Todoroki looked down at you.

“I-I’m sorry to disturb you, sir.” You couldn’t tell if you were just intimidated or if it was the cold choking your voice. “But, but, but my car is stuck in the s-snow...”

“Get it quickly before you catch hypothermia.” Enji opened the door wider for you.

You didn’t need an official invitation. Shaking to the bone, you scrambled inside. You were greeted by warmth, light, and the smell of something cooking. Was that roast beef or maybe pork? Whatever it was, it made your mouth water.

“Take off your coat, shoes, and socks. Sit by the fire as close as you can. I’ll get you a blanket.”

You tossed them each aside in your mad scramble for the fireplace, which burned brightly and hot. You sat by the fire bare-footed and shivering. Slowly, you began to feel your fingers and toes again. Enji stepped as softly as he could behind you. He wrapped a couple of woolen blankets around you. Warmth returned to you shortly thereafter.

“I don’t mean to offend, but you might want to consider taking off your shirt too. The longer you stay in wet clothes, the longer you stay in danger. I’ll see if I have something to spare for now.”

A blush rose to your cheeks. You heard him walk away and disappear into a deeper part of the cabin. While still tucked under the blankets, you managed to wriggle out of your shirt. It plopped like a wet rag on the floor by the hearth. You didn’t realize how cold your skin was until you got out of your damp top. Your flesh was chilled to the bone. Enji returned not too long after. You pulled the blanket tight around you to protect your dignity. He kept his eyes on the floor as he held out a shirt to you.

“Thank you,” you said.

“It’ll be long on you, but all the better. You’re very lucky to have found this place. There’s the bathroom,” he pointed behind him where the light flickered. “You can change in there for privacy.”

Clutching the shirt and blankets around you, you shuffled inside. Enji’s shirt swallowed you. You returned to your spot by the fire.

“Thank you,” you said again.

“Make yourself comfortable. It’ll be a cold night. You probably won’t be able to dig your car out for another day. I’ll see what I can do tomorrow morning.”

“I’m sorry for intruding,” you said.

“You shouldn’t apologize. Any decent person would, should do the same. You’re free to stay as long as you need,” he said gruffly.

The fire crackled in the silence that swallowed all conversation. Enji sat in a large leather armchair while you kept by the fire.

“Are you warm enough?” Enji asked.

You nodded.

“I’m sorry that you’re stuck here with me. I don’t suspect I'm the best company, all things considered. I’m sure you’d rather not spend the night with someone like me.”

Your heart sank a little. Not much, but a little. There was so much self-hatred and self-pitying in his voice that you didn’t doubt his words. You heard more than a hint of honesty in them. It was almost proof enough of his guilt.

“I’m not going to lie; I was shocked when I heard what you did. I hated you for a while. Reminded me of my own father,” you confessed.

“I’m sorry.” By his tone, it sounded like Enji was used to saying that.

“But I could say I’m a bit like you too. You wouldn’t guess it, but I used to be a party girl. I was selfish and didn’t care who I hurt as long as I got what I wanted. My father’s last straw was when I was reckless enough to get behind the wheel and I was drunk.” You drew in a deep breath. “At least, you did not kill someone. There are things I still hate about you, but those are some of the things I hate about myself too.”

“I’m--”

“Don’t apologize. I think you do it enough for the both of us.” You rose to your feet. There was a couch beside Enji’s chair. You took a seat closest to him. You curled up there with your knees close to your chest.

“What were you doing out there? Didn’t you know about the weather advisory?” Asked Enji.

“I was distracted by a phone call from my mother. She wants me home for New Years. I don’t think I’m very wanted at home except by her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that,” you answered.

“I’d like to ask if you wanted a drink but I'm no longer sure you’d like one.”

“No, thank you. I’ve been sober for three years strong,” you said.

“Congratulations,” said Enji without a hint of sarcasm.

Enji’s words were something your father never offered you even after you admitted yourself into rehab. You smiled a small smile and glanced over at him from the corner of your eye. You didn’t know if it was your company or the firelight, but Enji did not look nearly as old as he did earlier in the day.

“Do you spend all your time up here by yourself?” You asked.

“It is better this way,” he answered.

Neither of you spoke for the longest time. Enji stared into the hearth, occasionally stoking the flame with a poker. You were surprised that he hardly used his quirk to keep it going. He didn’t suspect you looking at him, taking in his features. He was older than you with graying hairs at his temples and in his beard. But he was still in shape for a man his age. Built like a rugged mountain man, you supposed he would need the extra muscle to climb up the hill every time he went into town for supplies. You looked around the cabin. There were few personal touches and the cabin felt somehow cold while the hearth was still blazing. Enji was punishing himself through isolation. You pitied him all the more and almost praised him for taking punishment upon himself for the things he done. However, you also figured that he didn’t need you to rub it in his face. This was a complicated mess to say the least.

“Do you ever get lonely?” You asked.

Enji did not answer this time. You took that as a ‘yes.’

Tentatively, you reached out your hand. When he didn’t bat you away, you placed your hand in his and marveled at the massive difference. You squeezed his fingers when you could not squeeze his hands because of the sheer size. You bodily leaned over. Enji’s armchair sat so close you could climb into his lap with little maneuvering. You leaned up and closed the small gap between you and kissed his cheek. You were prepared for him to yank his hand away and snap. You expected him to yell and threaten to hit you, but Enji did no such thing. Instead, his aquamarine eyes widened and bulged in his sockets. He was as shocked as you were by your daring move. That wasn’t even the last daring idea you had in mind. When Enji turned his head, you stole the opportunity in front of you and captured his lips. Your other hand reached to cup his face.

You slithered off of the couch and without parting your lips from his, you moved to the armchair. Enji put up no resistance as you climbed into his lap. You felt his large hands reach for you. For a split second, you thought you were about to be shoved away and face the ceiling. His hands reached and touched you carefully like you were fragile like a china doll. His hands were almost big enough to span your whole waist. You straddled his waist with care as you deepened the kiss.

Both of you sighed into the kiss. Enji’s fingers felt rough against your skin even through the fabric of his shirt clothing you. Calloused touches ran up your legs to the hem of the shirt, which kissed below your knee. Enji pressed your knees against his hips then rose out of the armchair. His arms caught you before you slid. The kisses became more passionate and fierier. Enji didn’t take you off to his bedroom but laid you out by the fire on the warm rug. Your heart sank and wondered how badly you insulted him. This would have made more sense if he had stopped kissing you back. Lips sealed against each other, giving neither of you much room for air. Hands worked each other’s clothing, popping buttons and running over bared skin.

You didn’t stay on your back for long. You pushed him back. He was strong enough to throw you across the room if he wanted to, but Enji laid on his back for your pleasure. You straddled his waist, pulling down his pants. You slid out of your leggings and stepped out of your clothes. The buttons down your front were open to your belly button. Your thighs ached as you stretched them to straddle Enji’s waist.

“Slow down,” Enji urged.

That didn’t stop you from reaching behind and exposing his cock. You ran your hand up and down his girth, earning you a low growl. Enji arched his back slightly and gripped your hips to hold you down against him. You continued to pump his cock until you could feel a bead of pre-cum leak out of the tip. You lifted yourself up a little and moved down his torso until you hovered over his cock. He was thick and veiny, and you wondered how well he was going to fit in your cunt. One way to find out. You lowered and impaled yourself on his cock until he was fully seated within you. Your head fell back to bare your throat to Enji. You closed your eyes to enjoy the moment further. You raised your hips and dropped back down. You and Enji moaned at the same time as you rode him. Enji held your hips, lightly bruising.

“S-Sorry,” he grunted between his teeth.

“Stop…fuck…apologizing. You don’t have to be sorry to me.” You rode him faster.

You fell into a rhythm fucking yourself on Enji’s cock. Sweat beaded down the side of your face and down your back. The fire crackled, though you weren’t paying any attention to it anymore. Skin met skin in a quickening rhythm as you took your pleasure from him. His cock stretched you open like it was your first time. The veins of Enji’s cock rubbed your walls that almost tipped you over the edge, but you had to hang on a little longer. It just felt too good to come now.

“I…I don’t even know your name,” said Enji. “You…know mine.”

“Y/N, you can call me Y/N. Fuck!”

Enji thrust upwards to meet you riding on his cock.

“Good to know,” he said.

His eyes followed your breasts bouncing as you impaled yourself on him over and over. Enji leaned up, bracing his weight with one arm, to kiss and lick the sweat from your collar bone. He kissed the side of your breasts and suckled on your pert nipples. Your spine tingled as he sucked. You rode him harder and he held you tight like a lover would. When you could no longer control yourself, the coil which had been winding up sprung loose. You screamed and it echoed off the cabin walls. The flood unleashed made you gush all over him. Enji pulled out to the tip and slammed home again before coming too. His milky cum leaked out as you stayed on top of him.

“If you…say sorry,” you said between breaths, “I think I might strangle you.”

You lay exhausted on his chest. You must have fallen asleep because when you woke up, you were dressed in a different shirt and wrapped up in bedsheets. You found Enji in his kitchen making breakfast. It was two days before he helped you venture out and dig your car out of the snow. Your parting was awkward, and you drove home without ever contacting your friend about your absence.

Enji looked out his window in the afternoon light. January still meant hills of snow barring anyone but daring travels up through the woods. His cabin was cold, isolated. He was alone with his thoughts at the strange woman who got caught in a snowstorm and the two days they spent together getting to know one another in all kinds of ways. He didn’t expect anything less than a bad parting and never seeing each other except in passing.

A car pulled up to his cabin. Enji thought he recognized it but couldn’t be certain. A woman popped out of the driver’s seat. She put her keys in a purse instead of holding onto them herself. Did she mean to stay for long? He was about to find out.

He’d left the cabin door unlocked. Who was going to bother him all the way out here? The woman made herself welcome as if she’d been there before. She took off her hat and scarf, letting Enji remember who she was. Her cheeks looked warm. He watched her dig into her purse and produce a plastic strip for him to see. Enji wasn’t getting any younger. Wordlessly, he pulled out a pair of reading glasses from his shirt pocket. He choked when he saw the little pink plus sign.

“Do you want to start over, Enji?”

#my hero academia #my hero academia fanfiction #mha fanfiction #mha smut #reader fic #y/n #fem!reader #mild angst #enji todoroki #endeavor #enji x reader #endeavor x reader #fallen from grace #18+ only #minors dni #Minors begone

[calypsoff]

Sixty Nine.

I think it’s taken me at least two days to recover from such an event, I have been such a mess. I can personally say that I felt terrible but also it was a good night, I am just catching up on everything. Like I can Google search my name and I have headlines about my birthday, I mean some are clowning at me crying, but jealous niggas do that, and it is annoying me. I am just looking at Dennis’ page, he posted a few pictures of the event, it’s nice what he put about me, but I think I am going to just snap on jealous niggas because I can’t be dealing thinking they can clown me, jealous motherfuckers like her ex’s like why are you checking for me, I ain’t checking for you but you there writing lines about me on social media, it’s weak. I really haven’t had the chance to actually speak to Robyn properly and actually say to her what she has done for me, I am just recovering. I know for a fact I haven’t ever drank like that in my life, I am missing hours of my life that I don’t remember. Pressing record as I stared at myself in the in the camera “I look rough, I need a shave” clearing my throat looking up at Rajad walking into the kitchen “I just want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes, as you know I had a very good night. It’s late but I just want to say thank you to everyone, I seen the birthday wishes just now because I am of course just catching up, feel rough still” I sighed out “I just thought I would do a video instead of just typing it out, I don’t do social media beef. You got an issue we can deal with it personally, just like I did before. I seen niggas clowning me, but I don’t care, I cried because I appreciate what my wife did and y’all can call me a bitch nigga, but she went above and beyond and I love her, she is my other half. Niggas don’t know what love is and it shows but a certain nigga, I see you and I ain’t scared to beat ya ass again” stopping the video just before Robyn walked in, I pressed send to put it onto my IG story.

Robyn sniggered at me “are you with us now? I can’t believe how long you been in bed for, baby two whole days?!” locking my phone and placing it on the counter, moving away from the counter “wow, I was a mess Robyn. I don’t drink like that, I don’t. Weed and booze, it was just. It took me out but man, I am just catching up with everything” shuffling towards Robyn, pecking her lips before hugging her close “oh my god, I just feel like I have missed out so much for those days. Thank you for taking care of me too” squeezing Robyn close “love you” Robyn cooed out “it’s ok, I know you was unwell but I am glad you’re with us” moving back from the hug “I have so much to thank you for, after you left everything was a blur, I do remember when I was dancing with Drake actually but then I was out” sitting on top of the counter “I am glad you’re ok, to see you in such a happy place Chris, I love to see it. I am so glad that the party was great, people keep talking about it” nodding my head “you got me so good Robyn, just thinking about it now I am emotional again. All of your family too, like Mel and Noella buying me a personal plate, like what? That is crazy, I feel like I am celebrating my twenty first again, it’s wild. It’s made up for every birthday I missed, I can’t thank you enough. I appreciate you Robyn and I got a little something, I may have been dying in bed, but I been planning, my family are coming to the home” Robyn’ eyes widened “erm, the home is a mess Chris. You didn’t say the in laws are coming” shaking my head “don’t worry about it, just that I called, and I said for them to wait another day and to come here. I appreciate you so much” Robyn stood between my legs, wrapping my arms around her “I love you so much, man. I can’t even” placing my hands over her bump “you and my daughter” Robyn gasped “you! Actually, you been talking too much when drunk, Rajad knows now. Everyone actually knows” I cringed “I am sorry, I didn’t know” she is unhappy, let me quickly start massaging her shoulders.

I am here massaging Robyn’ shoulders trying to calm her ass down, just because I know for a fact Robyn is very mad with me, I didn’t do this shit on purpose, so she needs to understand this “I just want to spend time with you, my family are leaving tomorrow too. I just think we haven’t had us time so take me away somewhere” nodding my head “I got you” kissing the back of her head “I am glad we are not having a boy, Camron kept trying to touch his dick and I was like no sir. This boy just wanted to keep touching it so honestly I am glad it isn’t” I snorted laughing “that shit don’t stop, you know how much I play with mine” I really want a son now, I need one in my life to be just like me “I think they are here” the buzzer went off “I swear I feel a mess Chris, you could have told me” Robyn moved away from me, jumping off the counter and making my way to the door. Majesty is a pest, she is always running out of the living room, these crawling babies is not it “hey, little brat” jogging over to her, picking her up and making my way to the front door Unlocking the door, oh I didn’t open the gate. Going back inside, pushing the button to open the gate. Placing my feet in the slides “hey, hey. Young lady, stop the slapping” I chuckled, shuffling outside “we were waiting for so long” my mother poked her head around and walking over to me “aww my baby boy” walking over to them “hey mom, welcome to my home” hugging my mom “son, this is amazing. Oh wow, this is very Hollywood” my dad has his glasses on, so he is really going to check every part of the home, he is in-expecting the home.

My family are so amazed by the home, this is just outside “come in, come” Majesty wrapped her arms around my neck, she is so precious “I am shocked, like this home is amazing Chris. Now I know why you love it here so much” walking back inside, Robyn side eyed me “why are you annoyed with me? You’re so annoying” I laughed at her “shut up, hey my beautiful mother in law. Look at you! The tan, you been out in the sun” I am glad I caught Robyn off guard “the family is here” Rorrey came out of the office, he has been using it, I told him to try and make his own little something for himself for my clothing line, I am open to ideas “hi boss” Rorrey shook my dad’ hand “the family is here, you never said” everyone seems annoyed I never said, maybe they wanted to make a good entrance “sis, the only person that annoys me is Chris” Robyn said to Tootie “he didn’t say anything, I have not cooked a thing. I feel so bad, your first time here and I have done nothing” I grinned “Robyn, I know your pain. He is an ass” rolling my eyes, they all mad now.

These ladies are mad “like I know y’all are mad but come on, I come in peace and honestly when you hear why, you will all love me” Robyn mean mugged me “what it is, this is the first time my mother in law has come to the home so I wanted to make an good impression but instead she has come and I look a mess, the home is a mess, I have made no food for them. It’s their first time here Chris do you not get that” I laughed a little “I do but baby my mom doesn’t mind, you’re beautiful anyways but hear me out. It’s Mother’s Day coming up so I did something nice for you all, I have the SUV coming and he taking you to a spa, all of you. I hired it out for you ladies, I will take care of Majesty and Desean, this is y’all time to have just some peace and quiet and after I am paying for the meal at Robyn’ favourite place, this is on me. Mom, Tootie, Monica, Noella and Robyn. My beautiful mother to be, Happy Mother’s Day, now can we stop the hate train” they all look pleased “really baby, oh my god. That sounds so much fun” my mom said “yeah, y’all can bitch about me there but I hired the whole place, Robyn can get the wax she needs” I snorted laughing “shut up!” she spat, her coochie need it cause she ain’t doing it “Happy Mother’s Day ladies” I grinned, Monica cooed out “he is a good man, thank you Chris” I grinned feeling so proud of myself.

I am super proud of myself “I love you” feeling a pair of arms around my torso “oh now you saying it” turning around in Robyn’ arms “you know I do, I just like to impress my guests Chris that is all. But baby that is so sweet, so you did all of that while you was in bed and I was slaving away” nodding my head “I sorted it all out for you, I want you to relax ok?” pecking Robyn’ lips “thank you and you ass, talking about wax. I want you to do it for me, how about that?” I snorted laughing “I will, if you want me too? Not in a bad way, I thought you may want to, you know. Feel fresh” wrapping my arms around Robyn “mhmm I will let you off mister thoughtful, that is the sweetest. I get to spend time with both of the momma’s too, I think I need it after the stress of someone” I chuckled “I wonder who that is” I sniggered “also I may just tell them about the gender, it’s just silly now because you ruined that part. And then Rajad will end up letting it slip so yeah, I will just tell them, or we both can later?” nodding my head “yeah for sure we can, I am so sorry about that” I feel bad that I did it “I am so excited about it, I am really you know, I didn’t mean it in a bad way” Robyn sighed out “I know, this is why I am not that mad” she is the cutest.

Placing my arm around my nephew, he is loving it being at the house “how has school been anyways? You are being good there, you know my sister will tell me if you ain’t” the home is actually so much calmer without the women here, they are always causing some type of drama over nothing “I am being good, people want to be my friend now. I told mom because they didn’t want to talk to me, but they are now, mom said they are fake. Everyone is asking me to get an autograph form Rihanna and I said no and then the boy called me a fake nigga for it, and I can’t be your nephew” frowning “Desean don’t let nobody tell you different, fuck them. They are jealous because us as a family are ok, they are haters, and you remember that. Those people that want to be friends you now and didn’t before are fake, don’t let that shit happen to you. You know I got you when you want to talk” kids are nasty as hell “I know I am just concentrating on Football and keeping myself lowkey, it doesn’t really upset me because I am winning. Rihanna is amazing” I breathed out laughing “she is” I agreed with my nephew.

The ladies came back looking refreshed, we just finished eating, I bought the boys pizza. Robyn is glowing even more “you good?” Robyn placed her hand on my shoulder and leaned down “I want a word with you” I frowned instantly, what did I do “come, we will be back” Robyn walked off, what the hell even happen “Chris, thank you so much for that. I feel so refreshed” getting up from the chair nodding my head “it’s ok” following Robyn, I am raking my brain just thinking what have I done. We just went into the corner “I seen your little video on IG, why react Chris that is what he wants, and they want” I shrugged not caring “you just want me to accept it, I will knock his ass out again. I don’t care, laughing that I cried. I am just saying that what is wrong with me crying? Because I appreciate what you have done for me, he is a pussy ass nigga!” I spat “and I just think, I am not saying what you said is wrong but don’t let him or anyone get to you, ok? So what if you cried, you appreciate me” I sighed out “I do, but if he wants to start then we can you know” I shrugged, I don’t even care who says what but it’s him that I hate.

Seeing as I ruined the secret between her family, Robyn feels like she has to say it because it’s pretty much only her mother that doesn’t know in her side so we might as well say it “we have a little announcement, well I do anyways because Chris has a big mouth” placing my arm around Robyn laughing, I can’t even front it is my fault “you already married so what next? Twins?” My dad jokes “how you know?” I said “really!?” my dad spat “see, I got you there but yeah. Robyn got this because I been just ruining her little thing” I am going to let Robyn say her thing “yeah, I am not angry at him but I feel it is unfair, but can we just keep it in this room for now, if we can try. We all are a gossips aren’t we but yeah, so we. Chris and I, we found out the gender together” Robyn lied, I put my head down because I know I didn’t, I wasn’t there “and it’s very exciting because honestly I am over the moon, so is Chris with his big mouth. We are having a baby girl!” Robyn yelped out “granddaughter!?” my dad shouted, all my dad is doing is shouting shit “yes dad” I laughed, my dad shot up smiling “I am so happy for you, oh my god!” my dad is excited as hell “awww mom don’t cry” Robyn said, the family is so emotional.

#chrianna ff #chrianna fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #chriannaff #chrianna

[the-rawr-ster]

Words for Proheroes, UA staff, and All For One

Warning: lots of cursing, minor spoilers, mentions of abuse, harsh words, and lots of yelling, and also mentions of suicide, depression, ptsd, ect.

Any of the characters I mention, I say I hate but I don’t and understand they’re human so they make mistakes. I also know they already know that I’m right and probably feel super shitty. I still want to put my two sense in.

So I made a post and some comments on tik tok about hero society in MHA. I didn’t get everything I wanted to say so here’s just a ranting dump about several characters and groups.

The only heroes actually can respect are Miruko Hawks. Let me explain why. Hawks literally called out the heros on their BS speeches. Which I really admire. He’s blunt, which is an extremely respectable trait to me in most cases. And he’s very passionate about the work he does. He cares about people but unfortunately because of how he was brought up (manga spoilers here stop before you spoil it for yourselves). Just like many of 1-A, but also very different, he was quite literally raised to be a tool used by the military for their bullshit. And I think this might have changed based on who saved him. As many of you might know, Hawks grew up in an extremely toxic environment, I won’t get into the nitty gritty deets. The one that got him out of that was Endeavor, his favorite hero. He was his favorite hero growing up. But that only goes so far. Hawks respect for Endeavor (like many of his fans) was because he wasn’t fake, he didn’t pretend to like people, he didn’t pretend to smile. Endeavor was very different from many of the other heroes (horrible father and husband though (an okay hero though, which I think is part of why Stain hadn’t killed Endeavor even though he had plenty of opportunities)). Now we haven’t seen much of Miruko as far as I know, but just from her couple of minutes on screen in the anime, we can already guess that she respected Hawks. She likes how Hawks rolls. He’s confident, laid back, and he’s not a bullshitter. And just for that I can respect her. I also think Bakugō should be the number one hero but that’s a story for another time. I also have respect for Sir Night Eye and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you why because you can figure it out.

Now let’s get down to why I fucking hate hero society. Let’s just start off with the fact that it’s almost identical to how it would be if superpowers existed. There would be quirk discrimination, there would be people that abused their powers, ect. Ect. But most of all, heros get away with anything (much like cops irl). They use violence to stop violence, which goes completely against what heroes say. And we see this with All might a lot. Heros with flashy powers get noticed more than others. YOU SENT CHILDREN TO WAR!!!! THAT IS IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM OKAY!!! THOSE CHILDREN ARE FOREVER GOING TO BE TRAUMATIZED BY THAT SHIT! And I understand that at some point they’d have experienced something, but when they chose to be heroes it was a time of piece, but then for whatever reason everything went south. Regardless, these kids brains are still developing, idk how but this will definitely change the way their brain develops. Honestly I’d be surprised if none of them ended up commiting. I don’t want them to but in their mental state they’d at least be thinking about it. I actually wrote a fic about a pro-hero commiting. I could write an essay on why heroes suck balls, but that’ll be done another time).

As much as I’d like to talk about each individual hero, I really want to talk about UA students and Staff, and why the staff sucks potato juice.

Let’s start with the obvious one, Nezu. HOW DO DOZENS OF VILLAINS INFILTRATE ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS SCHOOLS? THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE, obviously your security system fucking sucks. NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOU ONLY HIRED ALL MIGHT BECAUSE OF HIS STATUS AS A HERO!!!! HES A HORRIBLE TEACHER!!!! AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOU ALLOWED ALL OF YOUR STUDENTS TO BE PUT ON BLAST FOR MILLIONS TO SEE, talkin bout some “We HaVe SoMe Of ThE bEsT heRoeS.” THATS bullshit because y’all lost an entire child to a lizard, a magician that puts people in marbles, and a musty old man with blue flames. If y’all produce the best heroes, y’all wouldn’t have lost Bakugō in the first place. AND WHY DO YOU LET MIDNIGHT WALK AROUND WITH SEX TOYS????! And you put all of your students in one place for all the LoV to have access to them. Yes there’s security, BUT SERIOUSLY? WILL YOU EVER LEARN?????

Next, is Present Mike, I love you man but HOW DID YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE TELLING EVERYBODY AND THEY MAMA THE NAMES AND QUIRKS OF THE STUDENTS???!!!! Like Nezu may have enabled it but you could have chosen to not do it.

Aizawa, OH SIR DO I HAVE WORDS FOR YOU. I’m sure you might already know this, but you should know I know. You’re one of the worst teachers, coming to a close second to last place on my list of horrible UA staff. First of all, you hardly taught your students proper combat training. That’s one of the most basic skills every hero needs. You’re slacking dawg (sorry for the disrespect Hound dog). Secondly, HOW DO YOU CONSISTENTLY LOSE YOUR STUDENTS? HOW DO THEY ALWAYS END UP OUT OF YOUR SIGHT? Like you’re really good at hero’s stuff but you’re slacking as a teacher. And why? Why haven’t you punished Mineta yet? It’s literally as clear as a sunny day that he’s a pervert. He is consistently making inappropriate comments and sexually harassed/assaulted several of your other students, and this is outside the LoV attacks, while you were on duty. Oh and let’s not forget about you emotionally manipulating your students!!! YOUR STUDENTS!!!!!! Needless to say I have a hate love relationship because I know he cares for his students and is not prone to favoring, unlike some *cough cough* all might.

MIDNIGHT, I respect your drip and your feminism. I just hate how you were written. YOU LITERALLY WALK AROUND WITH SEX TOYS!!! What do you even do? Like what’s your job at UA? I see you so often but like, what is your purpose? I love you though, and I wish you’d step on me.

ALL MIGHT, OMG I HATE YOU ALMOST AS MUCH AS I HATE ENDEAVOR!! FAVORITISM FAVORITISM FAVORITISM!!!! OMG IT IS SO PREVELANT IN YOUR “teaching.” You treat Deku so differently from the way you treat Bakugō. And I understand that they’re different so they have to be taught differently, by HOLY HELL! You borderline cheered for Deku when he fought with Bakugō. AND YOURE A SHITTY HERO FOR THE WAY YOU TALKED TO DEKU WHEN YOU FIRST MET HIM!! What if he didn’t grab onto you? What if he did what Bakugō said and jumped? You’d be responsible for that in a sense, because you made him feel worse than he already did. I respect you for being upfront with him, and that’s not what the issue here is. Deku was clearly emotionally unstable!!! You didn’t even teach him how to use his quirk, HES BARELY EVEN 16, how does that make sense to you? Anyways moving on to my biggest pet peeve with you, YOU PUT MY BOY IN CHAINS AND A MUZZLE KNOWING DAMN WELL THAT HE WAS FUCKING TRAUMATIZE, WAY TO GOT MR.NO.1 HERO!!! WAY TO FUCKING GO!!! AND THEN EVERYONE JUST SAT THERE AND WATCHED!!!! YOU COULD HAVE HANDLED THE SITUATION BETTER!!!!! HE WAS CLEARLY NOT OKAY WITH IT!!!! DO BETTER! YOU HUMILIATED HIM IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF VIEWERS!!! THE LoV treated him better and they didn’t even know about his trauma!!!! I have so much to say about all might, and some of them are positive too but I’ll probably do a post on that next Wednesday, but for now we’ll be critiquing. HOW DID YOU EVEN BECOME A TEACHER? I feel like there should be more qualifications than being a good hero. BUT ANYWAYS, YAK my whole deal with this man.

Those are all the UA staff I really have beef with, but I also love their characters and how they were written. Now onto my beef with some of these parents.

Mistuki: You’re really the only parent I hate. I understand Bakugō tried to hit you, but where the fuck do you think he got it from? He didn’t become violent and aggressive out of the blue. He got that shit from you. And will you please get your son some hearing aides, my ears bleed every time I have to listen to him scream. And you should’ve been more reluctant to let Bakugō stay in the dorms. And your yelling is not helping Bakugō. Ask yourself why he hates being around you? I understand that you care about him, but punishing your child by hitting them is not okay, period, wether it’s just a slap or not.

I ko: I LOVE YOU TO PIECES! I can’t hate you. I have so much respect for you, but you shouldn’t have let Deku stay in the dorms. I know you wanted him to be able to experience his dreams, and that you felt so guilty about him growing up without a quirk, but Inko, it’s not worth losing your baby over. You were right to be upset with All Might, PERIOD.

ALL FOR ONE!! I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING!!!! YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF SHIGIRAKI IN A VULNERABLY STATE AND GROOMED HIM TO BE A VILLAIN!!! AND YOU KILLED HIS GRANDMA!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!! HE WAS A CHILD!!! HE WAS GRIEVING!!!! HE WAS UNSTABLE AND YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT!!! YOU DISGUST ME!!!!

And a big Fuck you to hero society for turning children into soldiers. A big fuck you for letting these children experience traum on that scale! A big fuck you for not saving Shigiraki! A big fuck you for being so full of shit!!!! A big fuck you for making people feel less than for being without a quirk! A big fuck your for being an overall piece of shit society!!

If you’ve made it this far, I apologize for yelling and cursing. Thank you for reading.

#shitpst #rant #mha rant #bnha rant #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha all might #mha all might #all might #mha toshinori #my hero academia toshinori #bnha toshinori #principal nezu #mha nezu #bnha nezu #mha aizawa #aizawa sensei #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #mha eraserhead #bnha aizawa #ua staff #hawks bnha #hawks boku no hero academia #hawksbnha #mha hawks #wednesday ranting dump