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nightmarist · 1 year

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Positive Psychology OC Ask Meme

I made Askbox Questions out of one of my psych text books to help develop characters for workable storytelling. Send some Virtues and a Character !

MINDFULLNESS– Do they live in the moment? What keeps them present?

SELF-EFFICACY– Does the end justify the means? How to they approach their goals? Do they blame others for their own faults or admit them?

RESILIENCE– How do they handle loss or failure? What helps them stay resilient and bounce back from loss or failure?

GROWTH – What would it take for them to change their mind or perspective? Do they recognize when new paths open for them, or stick to their preferred paths?

WISDOM– Are they open to other people’s perspectives? Do they look to history and past mistakes? What kinds of internal dialogue do they have about difficult situations?

CURIOSITY– How thoroughly do they explore new places, things, or ideas? Do they go out of their way to learn new things?

OPEN-MINDEDNESS– How do they deal with disagreement? How do they balance different perspectives?

LEARNING– What are they interesting in learning about, if anything? What hobbies and skills do they have? Do they know how to make themselves happy?

CREATIVITY– How do they go about solving problems? What is something they enjoy doing so much that they can lose themselves for hours doing it? Pick an object in your space: would they know what it is, and if not how would they go about figuring it out?

BRAVERY– What kinds of risks do they take? What are they willing to risk to help a stranger? Do they consider the cost-benefit of a risk?

PERSEVERANCE– Do they believe success is based on innate ability, or learning to overcome the obstacle? Do they know when to quit? What are ways they identify their weaknesses and strength?

VITALITY– Are they introverted, extroverted, or ambiverted? Are they more active or passive? What do they do to stay energetic? (NOTE: introvert does NOT mean they don’t like people, it means they need time alone to regain their energy for social situations).

INTEGRITY– Do they stand firm in their beliefs? Would they lie or refrain from disagreeing to avoid confrontation?

AUTHENTICITY– What are sub- and unconscious things that make them who they are? Who can they be themselves with, and who do they wear a mask for? What kinds of social roles do they perform?

HONESTY– What kinds of small lies do they tell others? What lies do they tell themselves? What is the biggest lie they’ve told?

SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE– Do they experience emotional empathy (innate ability to feel emotions for other people's feelings, i.e. happiness at success, grief at loss, etc), or cognitive empathy (may not feel grief but has a logical understanding that loss is painful, may not feel happy but has an innate understanding that someone’s success is a celebrated thing)? Are they aware of their own emotions and reactions? How well are they able to manage their emotions?

LOVE– What attachment styles do they experience? How involved are they in their friends, family, and loved one’s worries, hopes, or goals? Do they turn to their loved ones for support? Do they let people who love them help them?

KINDNESS– Do they go out of their way to do favorable acts for other people? Do they treat themselves?

FAIRNESS– How do they determine what is right? Do they care about what is right?

CITIZENSHIP– Do they prefer to look out for themselves or be part of a community? Are they willing to work with others fairly to reach a shared goal?

LEADERSHIP– Do they have clear, set goals? Do they take the consideration of others, or do what they will? Would they go out of their way to meet the individual needs of people around them, or create a more standardized all-in-one solution?

SELF-CONTROL– How easy is it for them to perform a new task well? If they want something, how hard is it for them to wait?

PRUDENCE– How far ahead do they plan? Are they able to strategize future potential factors? Do they go out of their way to ask for clarification, or simply assume they know what they’re doing?

HUMILITY– Are they open to seeing their own faults when others point them out? Are they realistic about themselves, or do they inflate negative or positive values? What is something they are genuinely proud of?

FORGIVENESS– Do they obsess or linger on the bad things that someone did to them? Do they allow change to take place after they have been hurt, or do they fight against it? What negativities dictate or direct their decisions or life?

HOPE– Do they look at their past accomplishments as evidence or inspiration for success? What inspires them to move forward?

HUMOR– Do they know how to diffuse tension appropriately, or do they make things worse? Do they let themselves have fun?

APPRECIATION– What kind of accomplishments do they recognize? What things do they find beautiful or attractive? Which of their senses do they find most joy engaging with?

GRATITUDE– Do they thank people out of obligation, or because they are actually thankful? What is something they are most grateful for in their life? What sorts of things should they be more grateful for?

MEANING– Where do they believe they fit in the world around them? What provides them comfort? Do they think about their daily life and routine? Are they satisfied?

PURPOSE– What kinds of goals do they have to look forward to? What are their internal goals (having a good relationship, being a certain kind of person, etc)? What are their external goals (making money, being admired)?

SPIRITUALITY– Do they connect with things greater than themselves, or do they find it daunting? Do they want to have an impact on the world around them (for better or worse)?

#writing prompts #rp musings #rp prompts #ask games #ask meme #rp meme #ask game #oc ask game #oc ask meme #inbox asks #inbox meme #character asks #for muses too not just OCs #worked on this for like 2 hours yall better appreciate it #i reread my entire textbook for this #questionheir

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arrenlebanen777 · 1 year

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS ???

🌙Pluto in our charts also can show us how is our Arrogant/Egocentric/Shadow side... So people who have very big egos, we tend to confuse that with high confidence, but arrogance/narcissism/etc could also take you to Big material places (just look Kleopatra, Hitler, Mussolini) but with empty ends, because arrogance/narcissism represents psychological problems that are against our real “nature”, and this type of people are everywhere nowadays: All “Goddesses/gods”, “Kings/Queens”, all people who only see themselves as 10/10, people who identifies too strong with an identity(beliefs), just tyrannic people everywhere generating a numb/superficial/dumb world... AND THAT IS WHAT PLUTO IS TRYING TO SHOW US! Idk why no one is putting these people in their place!? (maybe because the DNA/MEMORY of abuse, slavery, victimization, power over others is in us and we are not as conscious as we think). 🌙Idk if this is with all Scorpio Suns or with People who have South node in 8th house but every time I “try to be happy”, the more naive and dumb I become, but the more I connect with my pains/suffering the more mature, compassionate, grounded and with more integrity I feel (very Scorpionic thing), anyone relate to this?(I read you).

🌙Neptune conjunct Vertex: They attract a lot of different types of people in the range of Wounded or very strong/powerful people, They have powerful imaginations with thoughts that contain very high vibration information, these people are mystics, when you talk to them they can take you to places(states) that transcends the limits of the mind (life/oneness/existence/God/Source/universe/infinite) or to very dreamy places, they can transcend the mind just by reading some book, and I can’t stress enough that these people should meditate or do spiritual practices a lot (This Is heightened when it is in water houses, 4th house/8th house/12th house).

🌙Sun Aries in Scorpio degrees(8, 20): These people balance very well being an extrovert/introvert person, they have a lot of creative energy, S*x is a very intense experience for them so they can stay long periods of time without s*x with no problem, but when they have it, they have a lot(and they want a lot), they usually always have some issues related to anger due to the double martian energy here, they have a lot of drive/energy and willpower, they could look very secretives but with a shinny/intense/passionate personality, they have the power to bring any project to light.

🌙Sun Virgo and Mars Leo combination: They are very stable, with a lot of drive, they don’t know when they are judging someone, and they have a very demanding aura, Very talented people, but due to the inner critic/high standards they have with themselves they don’t show this too much to the world, but they should, powerful intellect, and it could be a bit intimidating talking with them because it is felt like they are criticizing you, prideful AF.

🌙Air Moons: You have a very refined intellect that can understand all emotions intellectually but you have to bleed emotionally to grow as a person/human being, Your mind is afraid to feel your emotions since it thinks that would bring some kind of crisis or suffering, again I emphasize on therapy here or doing practices that connect you with your body(meditating too) to get off that hyperactive mental place that you inhabit a lot, otherwise you could stay quite childish or immature, but you need to feel your emotions and do it consciously, connect with all those parts with which you have lost connection. 🌙Gemini stellium: I adore/love these people, they are very childish and they have a very exquisite playful nature, they have the wisdom of the inner child, radiants, witty/mischievous/very intelligent people, they are the star of the world, just look “AURORA” she is a gemini stellium in 10th house, she is the embodiment of what i’m trying to say, They can be a bit nervous, but that nervousness is usually because they have a lot of energy and are very curious. 🌙Lilith conjunct AC, DC, MC, IC usually gives dark hair to the native. 🌙Mercury in Scorpio: Penetrative minds, very intelligent people, they tend to overthink when they are with other people, very good intuition, my mercury retrograde love these people because we can understand each other without saying too much, they have obsessive minds when it comes to studying something or work matters, they are very secretive, they can hide simple things, they may be supporting something you are saying and you think they're on your side, but they never really revealed what they really thought about it, very good sense of humor, can be silent manipulators. 🌙Moon sextile Lilith: Very persuasive, powerful intuition, they see the psychology of others easily, good placement if you want to be a psychologist, Problems with libido(usually is very high), they can manipulate you easily, natural seductive abilities, usually occult and taboo is part of their vocabulary, hidden talents and gifts, “Dark Academia Aesthetics”, they usually love some chaos. 🌙Sun conjunct Pluto: I find these people very funny, They don’t get scared easily, actually they have rather stoic and calm attitude/presence, everyone I know with this placement everytime I've tried to scare them, their responses were: “there you are, hello” lol (with an unamused face), silent paranoids, and they can be quite daring. 🌙Lilith in Sagittarius: They are one of the most rebellious here, but sometimes they can get caught up in superficial things just for the fun and chaos, they get easily triggered by s*x, since is always behind their minds, For example: If a friend tells them "I dreamed about you the other day” they immediately think "Are you trying to F*ck/seduce me?...No, it's a friend” lol (all this unconsciously), Party harders, rebels without a cause, but when they find it they can become quite enlightened and radiant people/human beings.

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multiplicity-positivity · 24 days

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Hi! I was looking for advice and you seem pretty knowledgeable about plurality so I’d thought I’d ask you.

I’ve started to wonder if maybe I’m plural, but don’t know if my experiences are similar to something someone is neurotypical might experience. I think of myself as only having one headmate, but when it comes to interacting with people I express one of two manifestations of said headmate.

I figure it’s relatively common in people who aren’t plural to show different parts of themselves to differently people, but these two manifestations are so dramatically different to the point of being polar opposites that I’ve started to wonder.

(Some clarifying notes: While I don’t have names for these separate manifestations as they are both parts of the same individual in my head, I will refer to them as 🌟 and 🪐 respectively. I will refer to me presenting either 🌟 or 🪐 as fronting, and the version that exists in my head as the headspace version. I’m using this language just to be clear with what I mean, not to appropriate language used by systems/say I am one)

It hasn’t always been like this. When I was little, I was just 🌟. I was extremely extroverted, energetic, argumentative, and struggled with emotional regulation. I display these traits whenever I am fronting 🌟. 🪐 has always been around in my headspace as well, and sometimes 🪐 would front, but this didn’t happen in any meaningful capacity until I was around 9. My behavior shifted drastically, because 🪐 is very quiet, observant, and logical. My mother has told me multiple times that she felt like I got jaded in the 4th grade. Now, unless I’ve gotten to know someone well or am incredibly comfortable in the environment I’m in, I front 🪐. Around my very close friends 🌟 will front, and 🌟 will also front when I get very giddy or excited. Sometimes when 🌟 fronts I catch myself regretting it, scared I annoyed people or if people hate me, because I can’t control which manifestation of myself people talk to.

But the thing is, I don’t have any trauma that I know of, and they exist together as one identity in my headspace. My worldview, beliefs, and memories remain the same across the board. I think of myself as one person, even if someone’s experiences with me can vary drastically (this ask would be very different if you were talking to 🌟)

I figured since you interact with a fair amount of systems and are one yourself, you could maybe point me in the right direction.

Thanks for your time!

Hi! We won’t be able to confirm or deny whether or not you’re plural, sorry about that! It’s true that even singlets are multifaceted, with different sides of themselves that they show to different people at different times. And many singlets may find that they feel more extroverted and bubbly with people they’re comfortable with, and more introverted and reserved with people they don’t know that well. To us, this is pretty normal, and even some of our parts experience socialization in this way!

What we truly believe, is that if the plural framework is beneficial for you, if you are helped or comforted by the idea of being a system, then you are more than welcome to identify as such! Not all systems form from trauma - while trauma is necessary in order for someone to develop a dissociative disorder like DID, there are plenty of other ways to exist as multiple or more than one!

We have a post we wrote in the past with a ton of resources for questioning systems. We’d like to share it with you in case one of the resources there could be useful!

For anyone questioning whether or not they’re plural, the process can be difficult, confusing, and may take a long time (we know it certainly did for us!). It’s okay to go slowly and not rush to any conclusions about yourself! That being said, it’s definitely okay to try out some labels while you’re questioning to see if anything feels right or sticks out to you. There’s no harm in trying out plural labels while you’re questioning - you’re not invading any spaces or appropriating plural language by experimenting with the terms you use to describe yourself!

Finally, we’d like to recommend learning more about median systems specifically. Plurality is a spectrum, and not every system will have fully developed, unique, and separate individual headmates! We understand median systems as those who exist in between a singlet and fully separated multiple on the plural spectrum. It may be worth learning more about if you’re wondering whether or not you’re “plural enough” to call yourself a system! (Note that we’re not saying for sure that you are a median system! Rather, we’re just suggesting it as a potential research option or direction for you.)

We hope this helps! Good luck to you with navigating the waters of questioning plurality. And feel free to reach out if you have any further questions on your journey! Know that even if it turns out that you’re not plural after all, that’s okay! Hopefully the questioning process will still be insightful for you. And plural or not, you’ll always be welcome here on this blog!

#questioning system #trauma #median system #syscovery #long post

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nocturnalazure · 8 months

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Bold the Facts

Tagged by @wannabecatwriter, thank you so much!

I wasn't sure who to do it for, but I remember doing this tag years ago for Nate, Noah and Seth. So in order to have the whole bad boys set complete, why not Erik this time? The poor guy is lying on a hospital bed.

[ PERSONAL]

$ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other (college dropout) / high school dropout ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed (NB: the police is keeping an eye on him)

[ FAMILY]

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children (NB: that may surprise you but he's really a family man) ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parents / not applicable

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ disorganized / organized / in between ♦ close minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between (NB: he's a worrier and internalizes a lot more than he shows) ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between (NB: that depends on his level of respect for you) ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between (NB: he follows only those he recognizes as leaders. The rest can fuck off and he'll act as he sees fit) ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between (NB: he's optimistic enough not to care about the consequences) ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between (NB: he can be very dedicated but he's also got a big tendency to slack off...) ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[ BELIEFS]

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes / no

(NB: Erik's got the "Supernatural skeptic" trait... he doesn't think much about those things)

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual (NB: he wouldn't identify as such. He'd say he likes women and Laurie, period. And what do you mean, Laurie is a man? So what?) ❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious (NB: Erik has idealized views on romance which makes him prone to fixations on a person) ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious (NB: he's only had sex with 3 people after all, but he's given it all every time. He has his kinks and he's eager to please his partner but is he experienced for all that? Maybe still a bit naive and clumsy at times) ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all (NB: then again, in his mind, he can only envision being with women or with Laurie-the-special-snowflake) ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all (NB: ditto)

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none (NB: he tends to use mostly brute force but... he's efficient) ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none (NB: he's not particularly handy but he can get by, and he learned a thing or two about mechanics from watching his dad)

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic (NB: actually between 'sometimes' and 'frequently' - he doesn't drink often but when he does, he drinks a lot) ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker (NB: in case you hadn't noticed...) ✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess (NB: he doesn't trust doctors in general) ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic (NB: he doesn't need much to live and his parents taught him to save money) ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler (NB: that will entertain him for about 5 minutes before he loses patience)

Tagging:

@kimmiessimmies for Martha

@eternal-infamy for Serena

@danjaley for Matt Ysobel

@bool-prop for Peter

@anamoon63 for Kelly

#sims 3 story #character development #erik zay #tagged

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simslegacy5083 · 2 months

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🎮In Detail: Luigi Lawbourne💚

I debated doing a side character but figured folks would be most interested in my main. He's still new enough to being the heir I thought it could be interesting!

[ PERSONAL]

Financial: wealthy / moderate/ poor / in poverty - or at least his family is!

Medical: fit/ moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable

Class or Caste: upper/ middle / working / unsure / other

Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other

Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet/ yes, but charges were dismissed

[ FAMILY]

Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children

Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings/ sibling(s) is deceased

Affiliation: orphaned / adopted/ disowned/ raised by birth parent/ not applicable

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES]

extroverted / introverted /in between

disorganized / organized/ in between

close minded / open-minded / in between

calm / anxious / in between

disagreeable / agreeable / in between

cautious/ reckless / in between

patient / impatient / in between

outspoken/ reserved / in between

leader / follower /in between

empathetic / vicious bastard / in between

optimistic / pessimistic / in between

traditional / modern / in between

hard-working/ lazy / in between

cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown

loyal / disloyal / unknown

faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[ BELIEFS ]

Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist/ agnostic

Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

Belief in Aliens: yes/ no / don’t know / don’t care

Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious

Philosophical: yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual

Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless

Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naïve and clueless / romance suspicious - specifically he identifies as grayromantic like his papa before him

Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious

Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ ABILITIES ]

Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Literacy Skills: excellent/ good / moderate / poor / none

Artistic Skills: excellent / good/ moderate / poor / none

Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor/ none

[ HABITS ]

Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes/ frequently / alcoholic

Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker

Recreational Drugs: never / quit / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict

Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess

Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic

Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

tagging @sharona-sims, @tedsies

#sims 4 #sims4

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nerdygaymormon · 10 months

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Navigating Living Waters

Affirmation has a Facebook group titled Living Waters, which is for LGBTQ people, family, & friends who are active in the LDS church. This group is meant to be a place to discuss issues and topics from a believing LDS perspective.

At the 2023 Affirmation International Conference, I was asked to be the presenter for the Living Waters session.

Church can be challenging for queer people and for those who love us as things get said which hurt. I wanted to help people feel like they have some skills they can use when they encounter these situations. For that reason, I called my session “Navigating Living Waters - Affirming ourselves and drawing boundaries as we navigate life at church and with believers.”

I’m sharing my presentation in the hopes it may be useful to some who were unable to attend the conference.

————————————————————

"We're not gonna become someone we love by talking to ourselves like we're someone we hate. We're not gonna become the best version of ourselves while treating ourselves like someone who deserves to be punished just for existing. I know it's hard, but have your own back” - Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle

A big part of what makes church hard for queer people is we repeatedly receive negative and rejecting messages about this part of who we are. Research shows both our mental & physical health are negatively affected as we internalize these messages. How can we handle things when this happens?

It depends on the situation. For example, if a comment is made in Sunday School, we can also make a comment, but Sacrament meeting isn’t interactive. It also depends on you. If you're not out to everyone in the room, then speaking up may not be an option you would choose. Some people's personalities are more introvert or extrovert. Some people have anxiety. There's a lot of variables.

We need to push back against those messages of negativity and discrimination. It's a way of honoring myself. Pushing back may include speaking up, or it may mean replacing those messages to myself with affirming ones.

This past week at my therapy session, I was speaking with my psychologist about an assignment where I identify something I did that day for which I feel accomplished and then say that I'm proud of myself for doing this thing. I told the therapist that it feels hokey. I understand what I'm writing, but I don't feel it. She said while typing or writing are fine, for the brain it's more effective to hear the words spoken. And it's even more powerful to look at my reflection in the mirror and say the words to me. Giving voice to an affirmation has power.

I share that because it’s good to write thoughts to yourself. It’s even better if you’re able to give voice to those thoughts.

If you find yourself in a place where things are being said, but you can’t speak up, one option is to remove yourself from the space. If it's Sacrament Mtg and the speaker is saying things that are hard for you, get up and walk out. You don't have to make a big deal about it, you can quietly slip away. Although, I have seen someone who got up and walked out while making clear they were unhappy with what was being said by making an exasperated noise and shaking their head.

If I’m watching General Conference with family or friends and can’t turn it off, there’s several options available. I can get on my phone to distract myself and check out what people are saying on Twitter and on Tumblr. I could take a bathroom break. If I’m taking notes, I can start writing affirming, positive messages to myself to counter the words being spoken.

Pushing back against and replacing the rejecting messages is a way to not internalize them.

Let's say we're in a classroom situation and something discriminatory is said about queer people. Many of us choose to be silent, to be passive and let the comment go unchallenged. At church it seems like we’re socialized to not make other people feel uncomfortable even as they are saying things which are hurting us. We don't have to let the comment go unchallenged, but you have to weigh whether the situation is one where you can safely push back.

We don't want to respond with violence or threats, we don't want to dehumanize the other person, we don't want to inflict trauma on them. If we do that, then for many, our voice loses its legitimacy. We can be affirming of ourselves without demeaning others. We're taught to do unto others as we want done to ourselves, so let's respond in a way that treats others how we deserve to be treated.

We want to challenge their ideas and assumptions. We want to make them aware of other experiences and ways of thinking. We want to point out the negative messages they are conveying.

It helps if we assume they have good intentions and didn’t realize what they said could be understood in a way that hurt others. We are trusting that we can reach their humanity.

We can respond by building on common ground.

We can use “I” statements to share our feelings and our experience. "I" statements can begin with “My experience is…,” or “I think…” It’s hard for someone to argue that you don’t have those experiences, thoughts or feelings. When we open up and make ourselves vulnerable, usually others will react positively and they let down their guard, too.

Let me give you an example. Let's say we're in Sunday School class and the topic is prophets. Someone in the class says “I’m happy for the guidance of prophets because thanks to them we have the Proclamation which tells us what a true family looks like.”

<Gulp> Do I let that slide?

Here's one way I could respond. Remember, I'm looking to build on common ground and use "I" statements.

“I’m also glad for prophets and the hope they give us, but it’s important to think of how things like the Proclamation apply to our own situation. The Proclamation speaks of ideals but not everyone's lives fit those. I have friends who are single parents and it’s important they know that God loves their families, too.”

Another example is, "I am glad for prophets and as a queer person, I've been noticing them more and more teaching that we need to include and love everyone. While the Proclamation contains ideals that work for your family, I read it and wonder ‘Where do I fit in? What is God's purpose for my life?’”

I built on the common ground of prophets, but then I pivoted.

By speaking up, you're inviting everyone in the room to consider this point of view which they may not have considered. Maybe they have never imagined how the Proclamation may be hurtful to people in different situations.

Another approach is to appeal to a gospel principle, like “Love your neighbor.”

Let me share a few comments that can be used in a variety of situations.

“I don’t know about that, but what I do know is I’m supposed to love my neighbor. If I have to choose, I’d rather err on the side of being too loving than of not being loving enough.”

“My experience is these are real people with real feelings. If anyone in this room is part of the queer community, I want you to know you’re loved. God loves you and I love you.”

"The church's Handbook says all are to be welcomed and treated with kindness, and so I’m going to follow that advice.”

These phrases challenge the narrative that was being put forward and makes clear that not everyone agrees with what was being said. It shows there’s more than one way to think about these things. For anyone who might be in the closet or who has friends or family members who are queer, they will now know you’re a safe person to talk to.

I have one friend who, when the teacher asks, "What is something evil that people call good?" she will raise her hand and blurt out "homophobia!" She doesn't wait to get called on because by going first, she sets the standard. She says when she gives this answer, usually every hand lowers. They all were going to say something like gay marriage or being trans or something like that. Now the other class members can't give their answer because they don't want to be seen as doing exactly what has just been called out as an evil.

————————————————————

At this point, I asked them to pair up into groups of 2 or 3 and I gave them a list of possible comments they might hear. I asked them to practice responding. It’s a safe space and they can get feedback and retry. When they do experience a situation where they want to respond to a comment, they’ll have this experience.

Here’s the comments I gave them to respond to:

A man says he wishes that as a kid he’d heard of being transgender, because he would’ve used that to get into the girls’ locker room

A person saying it’s abuse when parents allow a transgender person to transition

When a person says they’re disgusted by affection shown between a same-gender couple

A parent says she’s uncomfortable having a lesbian as her child’s Primary teacher

Being told we should not identify as gay

Being told they love and accept us, but don’t tell anyone else you’re bi

LGBTQ+ people are that way because of bad parenting, or sexual assault, or something they saw on TV

Children deserve a mother and a father

Gay people are loved less by God because they persist in living a sinful life

————————————————————

Here's another suggestion to hopefully stop these types of negative comments from happening in the first place. If you see that the topic for an upcoming class may have the possibility for anti-LGBTQ comments to be made, you can contact the teacher about your concerns.

"Hi. I noticed this week's Come Follow Me includes some verses people may use to say unkind things about LGBTQ people, and I was wondering if you've thought of that and how you might keep that from happening, or how you could respond if it does happen?"

Let's say the class is assigned a conference talk that has anti-queer things said in it. You could contact the teacher and volunteer to share some of your thoughts with the class and see if the teacher agrees to that. Be ready to share what you’d like to say as it will help the teacher feel comfortable accepting your offer. For example, I might share this in a class:

“The church is imperfect. In this mortal world, that is how it is. But one thing I’ve learned is that there’s more room for me in the plan of salvation than there is in the closet. The messages I get from God are wonderful and I wish the church and my orientation were more compatible because I don't feel like I'm incompatible with God. The past few decades have shown the church is on a trajectory to be more inclusive and understanding, and that gives me hope. I know we're reading the words of an apostle, and I won't challenge what he is saying, he has every right to teach these things, but I know in my heart that the way I feel when I hear these words is lesser than, like I'm excluded, and I don't feel that way with God. I'm choosing to be here for the hope I find here and the good things church does in my life. Thank you for letting me share my perspective.”

Okay, so we talked about several strategies.

You can remove yourself from the space where negative things are being said.

You can choose to think or write affirming messages to replace the ones you are hearing.

You can make a comment to affirm yourself.

You can preemptively contact the teacher.

—————————

The other topic I’m addressing today is boundaries. It’s okay to draw boundaries, you don’t have to share everything just because someone asked. I have family I love but they view being queer differently from me, and so for the sake of our relationship it helps for me to have some boundaries.

The purpose of a boundary is to keep ourselves safe, to do that we draw boundaries around the mental, physical, behavioral and spiritual aspects of our lives.

While I think people understand the reasons for having boundaries, sometimes the hard part is knowing how to state the boundary. I’m passing out a handout with a number of phrases that may be useful. These are suggestions, hopefully they’ll spark ideas of additional phrases you can use.

I appreciate the gesture, but in the future I'd prefer...

I'm not prepared to discuss this any longer. Let’s take a break so I can collect my thoughts

Thank you for your concern about my child's behavior, I'll take it from here

That question is too personal. I won't be answering it

I feel undermined when you bring this up in front of everyone. Next time, please talk to me about it in private

I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk to my mom about my private life

Thank you for your opinion, but I’m confident in my opinion

Why would you ask me that, does that seem appropriate? Would you be comfortable answering such personal questions about your life?

This isn’t a productive conversation. I’m not responding any more

I appreciate you asking, but that information is readily available on Google. I suggest you start there

Remember, this is not a negotiation, we aren't discussing where the boundaries should be. You're letting them know what your boundaries are.

I don't know if it's particular to our culture, but it seems Latter-day Saints regularly say and ask about topics that maybe they shouldn't, especially if they don't know you well. If they try to continue on after you've expressed your boundary, you restate the boundary

I appreciate your concern, but as I said, I'm not prepared to discuss this any longer

I've politely asked not to discuss XYZ, if you do again then I will...(leave, end this conversation, ask to be transferred, speak with the Relief Society president, etc)

—————————

As a queer person, or as someone who loves a queer person, church can be complicated, yet there are a lot of reasons why someone chooses to continue to engage with church. I hope that you leave today’s session feeling like you have some methods that will help as you navigate these spaces.

#affirmation #living water #david doyle #queerstake #long post

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faintingheroine · 4 months

Note

One reason I asked about Adnan's social status/influence was that I was thinking of the fallout from the end of the book for the other characters. To start with Behlül, might he have been shunned from his wider family (I imagine for one that he would not be welcome back at the island at his aunt's place) or from some finer circles/connections if they knew Adnan suddenly hated him and no longer spoke of him? With the knowledge of Bihter's sudden death and if he was notorious for being a shameless loverboy, plus if anyone had gossiped about the planned match with Nihal that never happened, I imagine at least some people might put two and two together.

Well, I am sure that he won’t be visiting at the Island with the old aunt but otherwise I am not sure that he will lose much prospects?

He has a father (who is Adnan Bey’s brother) who is alive and well and is just away because he is an official at a province. I don’t think that his father will outright shun him, but I doubt that Behlül will even need his father’s forgiveness that much.

Behlül is an upper-class handsome extroverted young man who has plenty of outside connections due to the myriad of friendships he formed with plenty of people of different ethnicities and religions at the school. There is talk of him becoming a diplomat:

“He remembered one in particular, a German Jewess met at a show of the Operaia Italiana, who, hearing a rumour that was being circulated at that time, that Behlül was to be consul general to some fashionable place, had gone mad with the dream of being the wife of a Turkish civil servant.”

(Chapter 11)

I think this is still a possible way out for Behlül. At the time educated young Turkish men weren’t grown on trees so I doubt that he would be totally dispensable just because of a love affair, however scandalous. Sure, whispers would follow him, but he would make money somehow.

Also I think it is possible that the “society” already kind of suspected the affair:

“The bride had finally begun to interrogate Nihal. She wanted details about her father, was asking questions about his marriage. Then, interrupting one of Nihal’s vague answers, she said, in her familiar tone: ‘Don’t be offended, but isn’t your father too old for Bihter Hanım? If it were Firdevs Hanım,’ she was saying, and leaving off the sentence with a laugh.

As well as feeling a secret resentment towards this girl who talked of her father’s age, Nihal, without being able quite to identify it, also felt something like gratification. That age difference, by constituting a deficiency in this marriage, seemed to exact Nihal’s revenge. The conversation had naturally drifted to Firdevs Hanım. The bride was relating all that she knew about Bihter’s mother.

‘Even though we’re distant relations, you’re hardly a stranger! You probably know more than I do…’

No, Nihal did not know anything; Nesrin and Şayeste’s chatter would not pass beyond a certain bound. Now, as she listened to this young girl who spoke constantly, like the trickle of a small tap, the veils fell away from her eyes one by one. So Bihter’s mother was a… Nihal could not find a description, and was leaving off the sentence she had begun to form in her mind.

Now she understood it all, she understood so many things that she did not wish to listen any longer. At one point, the bride had talked about Behlül. Who was Behlül? Was he young? Was he handsome?

Why was she asking about him? Then the conversation had turned directly to Nihal. Was she not thinking about becoming a bride? Whose wife would she like to be?”

(Chapter 13)

Overall, I doubt that Behlül’s life will be ruined because of this. Adnan Bey is respectable and rich, but I doubt that he is such an “idol” in the larger society that a wrong done to him would ruin an educated fun-to-be-around young man’s life for forever. I think Adnan Bey is an introverted slightly pathetic type: He probably didn’t have sex until he was thirty and his biggest love affair was his marriage. His chief hobby is wood-carving. I somehow doubt that he has a wide circle of friends.

Overall, I think this whole thing will hurt Behlül’s marriage prospects, but not his professional prospects. He will struggle financially a bit for some years, but he will get by. I might be off, I am not a historian, but this is how I feel based on the data in the text itself.

And I think this is fitting. Behlül enters the story in a nonchalant way playing with Bülent, and leaves it just as nonchalantly. As colorful and prominent a character he is, this is not his tragedy. As I often say, he does not pass a reverse Bechdel test even in his thoughts. His character is just there to highlight the male point-of-view surrounding Bihter and Nihal.

#aşk-ı memnu #aşk ı memnu #behlül #adnan bey #asks #aşk ı memnu asks

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seokolat · 9 months

Text

BOLD THE FACTS

Rules are easy, the person who is tagged will bold the remarks below which apply to their character &, if they want to, include a picture with their reply!

I was tagged by @moonfromearth & @estah thank you so much for tagging me <33 This challenge was so fun to do !!

SHIAN BURRY 🌼

[PERSONAL]

Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable

Class: upper / middle / working / unsure / other (I’d say something in between)

Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other

Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed (she’s a queen of mischief after all)

[FAMILY]

Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children

Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased

Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable

[TRAITS & TENDENCIES]

extroverted / introverted / in between

disorganized / organized / in between

close minded / open-minded / in between (because she can be stubborn)

calm / anxious / in between

disagreeable / agreeable / in between (not certain what this one means but it’s not hard to disagree w Shian)

cautious / reckless / in between

patient / impatient / in between

outspoken / reserved / in between

leader / follower / in between

empathetic / vicious bastard / in between

optimistic / pessimistic / in between

traditional / modern / in between

hard-working / lazy / in between

cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown

loyal / disloyal / unknown

faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[BELIEFS]

Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic (her religion is science)

Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care (she’s a spellcaster so it makes sense which also contradicts a bit the religion thing but my girl doesn’t make sense anyway)

Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care (she was abducted like 18 times so yea)

Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious

Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious

Philosophical: yes / no (she’s not really into thinking and stuff)

[SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION]

Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual

Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless

Romance : romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable /naive and clueless / romance suspicious (she wasn’t interested in love at all before meeting Arion)

Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all (people identifying as men so genitalias don’t matter!)

Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ABILITIES]

Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[HABITS]

Drinking Alcohol : never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / Alcoholic

Smoking : trying to quit / quit / never / trying it / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker

Recreational Drugs : never / quit / trying it / rarely / sometimes / frequently / addict (I feel like as a young adult she used to)

Medicinal Drugs : never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess

Unhealthy Food : never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / Shopaholic

Gambling : never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

For this challenge I’ll tag : @aries-sims @d4isywhims @virsancte @lotuso3o @micsso @damseljamsel @apricote feel free to ignore and to choose your sims !

#NSB #Burry legacy gen1 #*Shian #tag game #oc game

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bitches-who-write · 9 months

Note

Okay, I’ve never asked for a ship and I’m not sure if I’m doing this correctly. I’m 5’4 (162.56 cm) girl with a dark brown buzzcut. I’m a fourth Indian and three fourths black. I’m about 130 pounds (58.967 kilograms). I identify as demisexual. I’m outspoken, lazy and (apparently) a natural-born leader. I don’t believe in gender norms and try to stay openminded when meeting new people for the first time. I’m also incredibly introverted to the point where distant relatives are genuinely surprised to see me at family reunions. I’m academically gifted and have been a straight-A student all my life despite rarely studying. I also have a big ego. I have a soft spot for animals (especially cats) and prefer them over most people. Ironically, my favorite foods are cheeseburgers and hotdogs. I’m never seen smiling unless I like someone and love to make fun of people. Not with the intention of being mean. Just in a more sarcastic way. My classmates, teachers and my four out of my five siblings view me as the “one in charge”. I also refuse to do anything I don’t have to or want to do. Especially if someone could just as easily do it themselves. My relationship with my parents isn’t good largely due to my father’s lack of interest and my mother being a (former) cocaine addict. Which Bowers member/members would you ship me with?

You did this perfectly!! We're happy to be your first ;)

We ship you with...Belch!!

We've mentioned this in previous posts but just because he isn't as fucked up as Patrick or Henry.

That doesn't mean he isn't a dick.

But out of all the guys...he's probably the most respectful...

He isn't a leader..you saw how he got bitched around by Henry??

He doesn't have a leading bone in his body.

...Maybe he likes to be ordered around??

He will try to stand his ground when it comes to people ordering him around...

He folds so fast.

He thinks it's better to just do it than have to deal with people bitching at him.

This also goes for being outspoken.

He is kinda just there as the wheels.

Tbh I don't even think they actually respect this man.

Belch doesn't really strike me as an introvert but he also isn't extremely extroverted either? He's a good in-between.

So this works out for both of you.

He's always down to hang out at home with you, but he is also really good at getting you out of the house.

Don't worry tho..he always tries his best to make sure everything stays lowkey.

The key word is tries.

You don't make fun of people to be mean but he does.

He will say something about everyone. It gets worse tho when someone says something to you first.

The man knows how to fuck up someone's day.

He learned this from the guys.

LOVES CATS.

He most definitely has a soft spot for animals.

Random dates to the animal shelter.

You two spend hours there.

He has adopted a cat..or two.

HE CAN'T HELP IT. HE GOT ATTACHED.

Be prepared for him and the guys to come to you whenever they have a question they need the answer to.

He always has a smug fuckin look on his face.

It usually turns into a full real smile when he's around you.

Whenever he plans on coming to your house, he will always bring you food.

You don't even need to ask.

#headcanons #henry bowers #henry bowers x reader #imagines #victor criss x reader #patrick hocksetter x reader #victor criss #belch huggins #patrick hockstetter #it 2017 #reginald blechman #belch huggins x reader #pennywise the dancing clown #ship requests #bitches that write

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kojiscorner · 3 months

Note

🖤 for one Henry Philip McCoy! Any verse.

send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours. (accepting)

@positivelybeastly answering these for basically feline hank, but works for any 'typical tuesday' scenario of their relationship

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

Hank is rather firmly situated in the parent category, and elicits no for Core attraction whatsoever. If pressed on the matter of appearance, he would likely detachedly describe his father figure as handsome, or perhaps adorable when Hank is acting at peak goofiness (which happens often with Core)

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

Core thinks the absolute world of Hank. As far as the young mutant is concerned, Hank is the kindest, most compassionate, most daring, most intelligent person there ever was. The biggest downside to Hank is his seeming inability to recognize his own worth and greatness; a fact that vexes Core to no end. That aside, the man's practically perfect-though you'd be hard pressed to ever hear Core admit any of this so emphatically out loud.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

Theirs is a strictly platonic, parent-child relationship. We can safely and decidedly mark Core's view of Hank as Dad and in no way Daddy, thank you very much.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

Making connections with people is a tall order for Core even at the best of times, so he has historically not been fortunate enough to have fostered many over the course of his life. Hank, however, managed to get through to him at a young age, and once they were attached Core found a kindred spirit like no other. Hank is his closest confidant, his role model, his lifetime goal. Hank taught Core how to lead with empathy and be brave enough to step up when people need someone. He showed Core the beauty and magic of science and the responsibility of brilliance. Who Core is today is undoubtedly a product of Hank's influence, and Core is all too grateful for it.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

Their first meeting wasn't a particularly warm one, considering Hank and the other X-Men present had been identified as enemies for Core to either vanquish valiantly or stall in the attempt to do so. Even for a short time after being removed from those circumstances, Core initially mistook the act of kindness as a death sentence.

current impression of them:

Thankfully, it didn't take over long for Hank to dispel that notion, and at present there's no one whom Core holds in higher regard.

#positivelybeastly #core: musing #relationship meme

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tonberry-yoda · 1 year

Note

hello! hope you’re having an awesome day so far. hopefully requests for matchups are still open. if not, please disregard this LMAO 😂😭 also, i apologize if this is a bit too long—

i’d like a romantic matchup for the jjba fandom please! (i’ll take anyone from parts 1-6 except villains [but i’ll make an exception for la squadra tho, they’re the only villain squad in jjba i actually love LMAO])

i’m a filipino 18 year old (turning 19 next week as of writing this!), currently in my first year of college, studying pre-nursing. my pronouns are she/her, i identify as a female, and my sexuality is straight.

i have medium-length REALLY dark brown (it looks black but in light, you can see that it’s brown) hair with bangs, tan skin, and i wear glasses.

i’m pretty shy, quiet, and introverted around strangers. i usually prefer not to go up to someone and introduce myself; i’d rather have the person go up to me. but once we become friends and i slowly open myself up to you, i can be pretty talkative, outgoing, and a bit chaotic! (if you have at least on interest in common with me, i’m probably going to become friends with you almost immediately). i usually have no trouble meeting and sending messages to people on social media since no one can be able to sense how awkward and anxious i get (i’m like an introvert IRL, but an extrovert [?] online 😂)

within my close friend group and my cousins, they consider me to be the horniest one out of the bunch, simply because of my habit of frequently making dirty jokes and thirsty comments (altho this usually happens when i simp over my favorite anime characters HAHA). also, because of my habit of finding at least one new anime husband whenever i watch a new anime, my friends also call me the “double hushando worshipper” (weird, i know, but i like it 😂)

in my free time, i enjoy watching anime, reading manga, listening to music (my favorite genres are pop, j-pop, k-pop, dance-pop, and pop rock, but i’m down to listen to anything as long as it’s catchy!), eating, and collecting plushies (i definitely love cuddling them whenever i sleep). i’m in love anything considered cute and pastel. i’m also obsessed with the brand sanrio (the one who created hello kitty), and my favorite characters are cinnamoroll and gudetama. as suggested in my college major, i’d like to be a nurse in the future, but i’m also looking into other career options still pertaining in the medical field :D

when it comes to having a partner, i really want someone who’s kind, respectful, loyal, trustworthy, and understanding. i’m someone who prefers to stay in my comfort zone almost 90% of the time, so i’d like my partner to kinda push me out of that zone, while also not being over pushing. i can also get insecure and compare myself to others from time to time, so i’d appreciate it if my partner can make me feel good about myself. i love my family a whole lot, and i’d really want my partner to get along with them; i have a group of cousins who i’m extremely close with (i consider them like my siblings), so i’d especially love my partner to get along with them too! i’m lowkey touch-starved so i’d definitely like some affection from my partner (i don’t like an excessive amount of PDA tho, an arm around me or a small kiss is fine). i don’t mind if my partner buys me items, but i’d definitely be concerned if they spend way too much, like spare your wallet some mercy please 😭 (and i’d also feel kinda guilty if i don’t have the money/time to get my partner something in return).

hopefully this is enough! <333

omg hi!!!! first of all, happy late birthday!! <33333 second of all this took me a while. i was deciding between two men and FINALLY found the PERFECT MAN FOR YOU!! so without further ado...

the character I chose for you is...

JOSUKE HIGASHIKATA!!

LIKE COME ON

HE'S YOUR MAN FRFR

he is definitely more extroverted than you, so he definitely walked up to you first

LIKE COME ON

HE'S YOUR MAN FRFR

he is definitely more extroverted than you, so he definitely walked up to you first

i know in my heart that this man can braid your hair

idk why i just feel it

so he does

a lot

i mean, he has gorgeous hair himself so he can really make your hair look stunning

when you and him text, it is pure chaos

you guys are so funny and cute and there are too many memes and way too many jokes

and lots of i love yous ofccc <333

it may seem like you are quiet around him sometimes to others, but josuke knows how loving and amazing of a partner you are <333

okay

you're both horny fr

like both really dirty jokes and random joking smirks from across the table at each other

it's chaos and everyone thinks you guys are hilarious

this man buys you stuffies all the time and then cuddles you and watches anime

you get him into a BUNCH of new anime

it's already canon that he's a huge manga nerd, but what if he just kept it at manga? what if he's not a huge anime watcher, but knows everything about the new animes that come out?

you get to watch the new episodes with him and see his reaction to his favorite manga scenes being fully animated

you and this man can eat for DAYS

like most of the time when you're hanging out, there are snacks involved

please give him sanrio and hello kitty pins to put on his jacket because gurl you know he's gonna wear em

and pull them off too

he loves your vibe

like the whole cutesy and pastel vibe

it's just cute and kinda awesome to him

plus the more stuffed animals, the more cuddles tee hee

he thinks it is so cool that you want to be a nurse

he has a stand that does the work for him and can heal people, but to see that you can do it without an ability has him admiring you forever

plus, with how sweet and amazing you are, of course you would do something so sweet to others and you just amaze him everyday

but dont stress yourself out! and if you ever do, he's got your back

he's always proud of you and can help you through any situation that you encounter with a hug and a kiss on the forehead

he definitely will more than respect your comfort zone, but will definitely encourage you to go on adventures with him and be his forever partner, even through the rough patches

he is more than respectful, trustworthy, and loyal to you and seriously cannot take his eyes off of you

you found yourself the most loving boyfriend who will always care for you, even if you two fight every now and again

also regarding PDA, he is completely understanding of your space in public, but will definitely be holding your hand or having his arm around your shoulder <3

he will definitely smother you in lots of love at home though and make your touch starvedness disappear, but always have you craving his hugs <3

this man loves your family and they love him

he's just so respectful and funny that it's hard not to love him

and he wants to be super close to your family because it helps him get even closer to you <3

and about the whole money thing...

sorry

this man has a problem

help him lmaoooo

but you definitely encourage him to calm down on the spending habits lol

you found yourself the perfect man <333

~~~~~

matchup rules --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

#i hope you like it #all the detail really helped me put together the perfect matchup so thank you for that <3 #jjba #writing #fanfic #my writing #fanfiction #<3 #jojos bizarre adventure #jjba x reader #jojos bizarre adventure x reader #josuke #josuke higashikata #josuke x reader #josuke higashikata x reader #jjba part 3 #diu #diamond is unbreakable

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in2thenewworld · 4 months

Text

matchups by stella! (aka yours truly) 💐✨

hi tumblr! i wanna try my hand at writing some matchups! if you drop by my ask box with a description of yourself, i’ll write whatever comes to mind, with whoever comes to mind! i will write platonic or romantic; if you don’t specify I will assume romantic.

i am 100% down for exchanges as well as requests, so absolutely feel free to ask if you too are a writer!

what fandoms do you write?

of course, expect this list to change over time and most likely expand!

Devil May Cry

Final Fantasy VII

Death Note

Overwatch

what should i put in my description?

It’s up to you! try not to be *too* brief though. as a guide, here’s a few things, but you can put stuff besides this and you don’t have to include all of it.

your pronouns and what gender you’d like to be matched with. this is of course essential. also, let me know if there is anyone specific you don’t want.

appearance; absolutely not necessary but it helps me visualise! :) more than anything tell me about your style and what makes you yourself!

personality; vague, i know. i have some knowledge about enneagram types and zodiac signs so if you want to include that, it does help a little. are you introverted or extroverted? logical or emotional? anything that might stand out about your personality is a help.

your interests! whatever it is you like to do c:

what you search for in a partner! what’s your love language? your ideal date? a quality that someone should have? etc

what are your rules?

i will not write anything romantic involving characters under 18. like, ever. hard no.

no nsfw or even suggestive from me, honestly. i don’t personally write that stuff.

i won’t write any heavy topics, anything that might be triggering to people.

please check my bio before you request! it will always have an open or closed.

please know i will try to get to you quickly but don’t harass me if it takes a while. I want to put out good quality writing to you all, of course.

if you’re on anon and don’t want your description included, please give me an emoji or nickname to identify you by!

please use a normal text format in your ask!

only one fandom per match for now please 🙏

that aside you guys can totally swing by my inbox with general questions and what not at any time! :) I’d love to make tumblr friends

#matchups #stella does matchups 💐#ff7 #ffvii #Final fantasy #final fantasy vii #dmc #devil may cry #death note #matchups open

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taegularities · 6 months

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from what i saw here, i personally think that your personality match a lot joonie. you have words of wisdom. you give great advices. you always shared your thoughts with us. in a certain way you take care of us like him. instance : your last post regarding boundaries and self love? yes that one

also did you heard about « your bias has your personality while your bias wrecker is your ideal type ». i saw this on tiktok i think?

for me it’s pretty accurate. kookoo (or koo2 hehe), the bias : physically talking, clothing style is indeed me in him, i choose comfort over styling, everywhere i go. i am ambitious as hell, like we were build to achieved things that required a lot of determination. and we are on the verge of being perfectionists (maybe we are lol) but i think it is also the fact that we’re both earth signs. we know how to communicate and don’t struggle with that. we like helping and comfort people. jungkook is for me the most perfect humain being here. i rarely visualize someone without flaws, but despite how many time he said that he is not perfect, i still saw him like that. so i think that this aspect makes me think that i can’t find someone as perfect as him. he is like the forbidden fruit.

meanwhile, it is true that yoongs is my ideal type. i am ENTJ, and was once INTJ like him. does it explain something?😂😂 idk. i like how wise he is. he is smart, straightforward. the i-don’t-give-a-damn type of guy but obviously knows that he is also caring. he knows what he is doing with his life in general. i believe he doesn’t exist on earth just to exist. you know what i mean? i think that he is the myterious type of guy that crave us to dig deeper to know him in a way that nobody knows except his lover. he is only like this because you understand him the better.

like joon, yeah?? oh my gosh, this is such a high compliment bc i admire this man so damn much 😭 he's a literal role model.. thank you 🥺 i'm always gonna do my best to take care of y'all and let you take care of me, too🫂

and i've heard of that before!! i'm not sure how much i truly am like tae or koo, and my wrecker is yoongi which 🤔 he's one of the most amazing people ever, but i always thought of kook/joon as my ideal type. which lowkey checks out bc joon has been fighting for a spot as my wrecker hkjdshfsf :') you identifying with kookoo (koo2, i see 😌) like that is so sweet. i get the perfectionist bit.. and ugh, yeah, he truly is perfect, but also imperfect. just so gentle and kind and 🥺 ALSO PLEASE. i changed from an extrovert to an introvert!! i used to be the biggest social butterfly lol 😭

you said it so beautifully. he doesn't just exist to exist. he's like.. he wants the best out of life and works hard for it. he comforts people and is reliable and a source of inspiration and.. nobody does it like him </3

#ugh i could gush about them all day #what do y'all think of the 'bias=personality and wrecker=ideal type' thing?#there was a time when koo was my wrecker and tae my bias and it was a lil true then but i've changed as well #and yeah #notes for rid 🌹#axelle <3

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funkymbtifiction · 1 year

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I’m a high Fe user and was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to manage being alone. When I’m alone or in my own head, my thoughts tend to become really negative and I start overthinking and reading up on old stuff like MBTI or scroll through my phone, and I start thinking I’m depressed. But when I’m with people, I start to feel better and my mood improves. How do I combat this feeling?

EFJs have to learn to develop their personality as independent from other people. What that means is that you need to discover who YOU are, what you love, what makes you feel passionate about something, and develop hobbies and interests that do not require others to be around you. In so doing, you will learn to become healthier, to have a life separate from your friends, and identify what is meaningful to you whether or not anyone else cares about it. This will become very useful in allowing you to set your own agenda going forward.

The temptation for EFJs because they need/want people around them all the time is that they live vicariously through their emotional connections and their friends, sometimes not stopping to find out if they even care about the same things their fiends do or not. You need to see your down time away from people not as a time to become upset or lonely, but a time to explore and discover what you love. Instead of revising old topics, seek out new ones. Read books. Learn things. Study languages. Watch a film in a genre you have never seen before and think about how it made you feel. Spend time writing, or drawing, or learning how to do something (YouTube has endless videos that will teach you just about anything). Spend time thinking. Asking yourself questions about your life, and what you want from it, and how you intend to get it, and what your future is going to look like. You need to learn to self-entertain so you are not despondent when you are alone, so decide what you are going to do in your down time ahead of time and then do it so you are not left wondering what to do, and then internalizing or getting bored. Set your own agenda.

I also wonder if you have advice on being the one who is always making plans and stuff. It becomes annoying after a while if I am always initiating contact or making plans or trying to continue the conversation, but there’s no reciprocation. And when I tell people about this, usually, there’s no effect or barely any change. And I don’t want to have to just stop texting people or stop initiating contact because then, I’ll start to feel alone and in my thoughts and feel depressed again.

This can be hard. I am the same way -- if I am not initiating plans, no one sets them and I never get to see anyone. So I choose to do it, because otherwise I won't get what I want, which is time with people. So, if being with people is what you want, you need to simply accept the fact that you will have to be the ringleader unless or until you find another socially-driven extrovert to share the load. There's also the likelihood that you are dealing with a lot of sp-dom introverts, for whom social connections are simply not their highest priority. It's a casual thing that they can do without (horrific, I know, but for social seconds, socializing is optional a lot of the time).

I feel like I should strive to work on being more alone but it’s hard. I feel like I’m a super extrovert, because I’m always reaching out or talking to others, but I don’t feel close with anyone. I feel like people have this image of extroverts as being happy and stuff, but I get lonely a lot. I don’t have a best friend; only superficial “friends”.

I understand and I feel the same way. It can be hard to wait for a best friend to come along -- but stay open and keep looking, eventually you will find them.

I don’t really have any hobbies. I mean, i technically do, but I don’t really act on them that much. <- change this and start doing them

I wish I wasn’t an extrovert sometimes or at least wasn’t super extroverted; I see people being perfectly content being at home by themselves. Why can’t I do that? Why am I fueled by human interaction 24/7? Why when alone I start to get negative and depressed and bored? Idk maybe cuz I’m a teen or strict parents, but I just hope this feeling ends soon.

This will go away when you find balance -- when you learn to keep yourself busy and entertained by doing things in your spare time.

#question #mbti #esfj #enfj

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silverjetsystm · 7 months

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❤︎

send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours. | Accepting

attractiveness:

personality:

how likely they would have sex with them:

level of friendship:

first impression of them:

current impression of them:

Marc intended to be around Layla once to apologize for his role in her father's death. That didn't take. Instead, he pushed the guilt down deep with the light that entered his heart through her. He's not sure what exactly he's feeling until Frenchie's teasing him about Love.

(As in, the "I think I'm in love" is not a thought but a feeling he lacked words for). Despite all the nos (her father, he's too old, she deserves better) he told himself, he was disarmed by her yes (agreeing to marry him).

Steven was able to identify that he was also in love early. He's less experienced than Marc or Jake but he's more in tune with his emotions and what they represent. I think partly because he's got a varied media diet (books, old films, etc.).

One of the reasons why Steven may have lost his memory around Elias' death was because he pushed so hard for Marc to not divorce her. He's the most honest and stubborn of the three (probably to a fault).

Jake is the most down to earth of the three of them. He's not a bundle of tension like Marc, nor anxious like Steven. He takes things and people as they are. It felt right to fall for her.

#lalamoon #asked and answered #we are mk | system #v: a tale of moon and scarab #//layla made marc realize he had a heart and the capacity for goodness

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creative-anchorage · 8 months

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The social psychologist Samuel D Gosling of the University of Texas has studied the personality traits of self-identified “dog people” and “cat people”. He found that cat lovers score higher on neuroticism and openness to experiences, whereas dog people are more extroverted, agreeable and conscientious. “I wasn’t surprised by the findings,” he says. “If you think about the role that dogs and cats play, they afford different types of interaction. If you like to go walking and get out and about, a dog is a more obvious choice. But if you are more introverted and like to sit in a chair and spend time at home, cats demand less social interaction.” But this is not to say that cat owners aren’t interested in the world around them. Far from it. Rather, they contemplate nature’s ineffable mysteries not on a muddy trudge through the park, but from the comfort of their own homes. “Openness,” says Gosling, “is about ideas and intellect. People who are high on openness tend to be more abstract thinkers, and more creative and imaginative and philosophical.” Not for nothing is the philosopher with a cat on their lap a beloved internet meme. The Turkish-American film-maker Ceyda Torun documented the rambunctious street cats of Istanbul in her award-winning 2017 documentary Kedi (“cat” in Turkish). Among the local people who loved and cared for these cats, one quality stood out: “Their capacity for philosophical thought and introspection,” she says. “It didn’t matter where they were from, or what level of education they had. You could see it in their eyes. They had that flicker of light. The light was on.” It is the wildness of a cat – how distinctly non-human they are – that draws us in. Unlike humans, who are social creatures who live communally, and dogs, which likewise live in packs, cats “are solitary hunters”, says the philosopher John Gray, author of Feline Philosophy: Cats and the Meaning of Life. “Female cats are deeply attached to their kittens. But that’s about the limit of cat attachment. Cats can grow fond of the company of particular humans. But they don’t need them.” Gray believes that “if you are the kind of person who wants to see the loyal, loving, trustworthy part of yourself in an animal, you will look to dogs. If you want to see out of the human world, into another world, where a different animal lives without these defining human needs, you will love cats.” In other words, loving a dog is like gazing into a particularly flattering mirror. Cat people look outwards, through a window into nature.

When she was growing up in Istanbul in the 1980s, says Torun, “cats were my best friends”. There was one cat in particular: a grey-and-white tabby with green eyes. Her name was Boncuk. “I was around six when she appeared,” says Torun. “I fed her and she stuck around. Even if I petted her too aggressively, she was never harsh with me. She adopted me and I was her human servant, fetching salami and bowls of milk.” What this relationship taught her, says Torun, is that “it is possible to love something, but not want to possess it”. Boncuk was her own creature, utterly free – requesting Torun’s assistance, yes, but never expecting it. They had a relationship that existed outside the servile ties that bind dog to master. “It’s about having that relationship with an animal,” explains Buzzel, “that chooses independence, but at the same time, chooses you.” Torun believes that the charm of a cat is even coded into their genetics. “We’ve messed with dogs too much,” she says. “We’ve bred them too much. They no longer resemble their authentic selves. That’s why people are so attracted to dogs that look like wolves. Because it’s that wild beauty that you don’t see in a chihuahua.” (Torun hastens to add that she has no particular animus towards chihuahuas. “Bless them,” she says.) ... And the contented purrs of a prone lapcat are a form of natural ASMR. “Probably the best sound in the world is the purr in your ear of a cat,” says Buzzel. “I don’t think any sound works better than that. There’s a natural therapy about it.” Mills explains that purring “is a care-soliciting behaviour. Cats show it when they are very happy, but also when they are seeking help and assistance, which is probably why cats do it when they die.” ... Buzzel has a unique insight into the dog and cat owning communities respectively. [...] “The sense of community is stronger in the cat world than the dog world,” he says. [...] If you have a dog, you love your dog. If you have a cat, you love all cats. You’re fascinated by everyone’s story about their cats.” But in truth, the distinction between dog lover and cat person is somewhat artificial. [...] Torun identifies herself as a lover of all animals. “I wonder how much people make themselves believe they are a cat person or a dog person,” she says. “And part of that way of thinking is just a way to belong to a group. It’s tribalistic. It’s kind of unfair to cut yourself off from any possible relationship you can have with a dog or a cat by saying you’re a dog person, or a cat person. That’s limiting to me.” She never knew what became of her beloved Boncuk. [...] “She taught me smaller lessons about boundaries,” says Torun, “attachment, letting go. But the bigger lesson was of knowing that I am not alone in this great big world. If you restrict yourself too much to human relationships, it’s very easy to feel alone.”

#cats #dogs #animals

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