#i feel like i genuinely dont know what they were rly like before they became dolls-

[wulvert]

this post is abt my ocs so they have up to date context on this blog. i genuinely dont remember if ive made this post before, i could have, my memory is bad & i want to talk abt them so i dont mind repeating myself

selkie

& wolf

those r placeholder names but they dont get real ones

selkie is a selkie with no coat & wolf is not a werewolf but they were a werewolf like 5 mins before the start of the story.

setting is pretty generic grimish fantasy world where magic just got fuckign zapped out of existence causing all curses to break, thts probs been done 1000 times before but idc vampires have too let me live.

wolf is the first werewolf ever & theyve just been a giant wolf wreaking havoc full time for a good 1000 yrs or so, all other werewolves have a weaker version of their curse. it only affects them on the full moon bc thats the moon phase wolf (the person) was cursed on wweuueh wolf did stop wreaking havoc once a year on the day they were cursed, this became a holiday where locals vent their frustrations to the giant wolf that usually tries eating them every other day of the year, giving it to god kinda idea but for giant wolves.

now that everyone evers curse has been broken as a byproduct of magic being obliterated, wolf is a person. why doesnt magic being gone make them stuck as a wolf fuck off shut up. magic is what makes them a wolf thats how it works thats how magic works go to magic school idiot,

wolf is a person again, but god** forgot what they looked like before being a giant wolf so theyre kinda just whatever wolf felt like at the time now. despite it being their actual genuine fucking heart and soul and spirit in physical form, they arent super happy with it bc now they have to see their muther (who isnt dead) (despite 1000 yrs passing) who will probably be judgy abt their actual ficking hesrt and soul ajd spirit in physical form & that feels bad. so wolf wants to be a giant wolf again asap to avoid tht mother child reunion.

** there r two gods but one is dead but thats fine so like the world they live in is one massive dead gods head & the other one is like cultivating a mould population on it but the mould is the creation of man. the rest of the body is there too but ppl usually fall off & die trying to get to the neck & shoulders. they dont know its a head they live on though like its massive theyd never know, they just think some landmarks look weirdly like an ear & eye socket & stuff. the god tht is alive is like hes not a guy who glows god hes an unknowable being god but also i imagine the universe is in a shed & they are humanoid shaped so i dont rly . i do think dying and growing tiny teeny versions of your shape on you is cool

selkie lost her coat like ages ago and has been looking for it for years, but now that magic fucked off selkies cant even be seals anymore. so even if she got her coat back it wouldnt work. selkie is pretty bummed abt this, still wants it back but also feels like she wasted years of her life at the same time & wants to move on. relates to wolf on these things.

theres also a vampire who isnt a vampire anymoere but also sort of is but not really & he wants his ex wife back who dumped him for being miserable.

also probs an elf (the elves here are plant based not meat based & very magic based except not anymore)

all the fairies died bc i dont like faries. and i dont kniw how to spell fairies. theyre the only crestures that died with no magic only bc i dont like them.

so i guess the goal is wolf wants to shout at god. its like horton hears a who. watch horton hears a who thats this comic one to one.

[menalez]

I know this is an old topic on your blog now but I just saw the anon taking about polilez being etiologically r/t womb envy and I wanted to agree! as a former inadvertent polilez (sorry) my experience was like. i grew up in a very accepting area of the US and knew a lot of gay/lesbian adults as a child, didn’t have internalized homophobia, only liked girls as a kiddo, had my first “gf” at 11, never really paid attention to guys. was out as a lesbian by 13 among friends, but started being attracted to men as well around 16-17 like right before I discovered radical feminism. also at that time started getting harassed at school by an older guy with a history of violence against women and so really doubled down on being lesbian because I thought it would ward him off, because I had a hard line “reason” to turn him down that was beyond my control. i was scared of him.

spoiler alert he “transitioned” on a Tuesday and on Wednesday was asking me to come over and cuddle again bc he was “suicidal”, and I think at that point it being “lesbian” became very political for me, I was terrified and so angry at the lengths males would go to to violate women’s boundaries, and having just finally accepted and understood the innate nature of sex that, yeah it felt like the enlightened thing to do to affirm homosexuality. and honestly calling myself a lesbian was my way to really validate to myself (was still very involved with “queer activism” at the time) why it was okay that I still really didn’t want to sleep with this person, because, even tho now I know it was because he was a creep and an abuser and a rapist, if I were bisexual, what excuse did I have to not entertain the idea besides genuine bigotry? even though I had been radicalized I didn’t want to disrespect trans people and didn’t want to be the bigoted evil terf that I had been warned about.

obviously I was a kid and just needed practice saying no, but IG my point was for me claiming lesbianism was my way to feel like i could justify being a terf to myself and also because as a bisexual people just assume you “don’t care” about someone’s genitals which is in fact not true lol. the dude transitioned back immediately after graduation, is in jail for assault now. Can’t help wonder if he’s trying to transition again to go to a woman’s facility :-/

anyway this was long winded but basically I just had this misguided notion that being a lesbian would protect you from predatory male behavior when in fact I now understand it just makes you an even bigger target. and also that it was the only “valid” reason to be GC in my own head because I believed that it would be easier to defend my views on sex and gender if I had the authority to say “look as a lesbian I’m not attracted to you.” was also totally wrong about that as y’all receive the worst of the worst IRT backlash about dating boundaries. and there are one million other reasons to be GC besides not wanting to date/fuck trans people but because I was so afraid of being bigoted it was the only one that seemed “safe” to me. no need to publish this if it’s confusing or stupid but haven’t talked/thought about it in a while. Ok done. love your blog and think you’re amazing :-) keep fighting the good fight

your experience is quite interesting to me bc i do hear many bi & het women argue they call themselves lesbians bc it provides them some safety / means they don’t want to fuck men and dont want to explain not wanting to fuck men even tho their sexuality doesn’t bar them from it or sth, and to me i didn’t rly get it bc 1. just bc ur into men doesn’t mean ur obligated to fuck them 2. just bc ur into men doesn’t mean u should want any man possible. ur allowed to have boundaries too! 3. claiming to be a lesbian doesn’t actually provide any security. maybe maybe in the most progressive gay friendly place ever or something but even then i doubt it. so it’s definitely interesting to hear from someone who had that perspective and realised through experience that for men “lesbian” is just another variation of “try to change my no into a yes” to them. also i can say from my own experiences that when we’re teens, our idea of sexual orientation and sexuality can be quite dumb and skewed so i don’t fully blame u here. some of my feelings about sexual orientation back then made absolutely no sense and looking back im just like -_- ok how on earth did i buy that bullshit

[whumpshaped]

strixhaven colleges w my ocs. bc i can. i included descriptions of them for anyone who doesnt know what they entail (like me half an hour ago)

lorehold: Loreholds are diligent researchers and daring adventurers. Passionate scholars obsessed with history, they explore the past by pouring over archaeological artifacts and summoning long-dead spirits. For some students, the past is a rich tapestry worthy of disciplined study. While others wear that tapestry like a cape as they jump down into a forgotten tomb. Their motto is "Leave no stone unturned."

my ocs who belong here: alex, vanya, holdyn, the human from the devil's story

prismari: Prismari are the theatre kids of Strixhaven, and magic is how they express themselves. Their spells can be spectacles of raw creativity or meticulous artistic expressions. All the world's a stage, and whether their art is informed by mind or emotion, Prismari always leave a lasting impression. Their motto is "Express yourself with the elements."

my ocs who belong here: felix, mika, pavel, nikita, valeriya, venetia, the conductor, blitzen, grace

quandrix: Quandrix mages are ingenious math magicians. They study patterns, fractals, and symmetries to command power over the fundamental forces of nature. They'll solve a Rubik's Cube while contemplating the metaphysical properties of the universe and can recite every number of Pi backwards. Their motto is "Math is magic."

my ocs who belong here: svetlana, craven, craven's master, charlie, dusk

silverquill: Silverquills wield the magic of words, from inspiring battle poetry to biting arcane insults. Stylish, intimidating, and tirelessly competitive, these mages are born leaders with a razor-sharp wit and natural charisma that can be used for good or for ill. Their motto is "Sharp style. Sharper wit."

my ocs who belong here: dmitry, katya, winter, alyson, seth, the devil

witherbloom: Witherblooms are goth bio majors. They draw power from the essence of living beings, whether that means enhancing nature or exploiting it. Witherbloom mages are most at home riding zombie crocs, picking herbs for potions, and hanging out in their swamp making grim jokes. Their motto is "Get your hands dirty."

my ocs who belong here: maria, juniper, pumpkin, and lil old me!

#out of all the dolls i only assigned a college to dusk and thats bc with the others... #i feel like i genuinely dont know what they were rly like before they became dolls- #but yeah #i love sorting... #arbitrary sorting... #i love it #and omg i'd totally be a stupid lil witherbloom nerd #with my lil potions and constantly dirty cottagecore swamp clothes #and my lil chemistry knowledge- i love chemistry #i will gladly elaborate on any one character!

[princeanxious]

:) so. No one ordered it, but, I have an Logan Angst(w/ hurt/comfort to balance it out a little) au idea to deliver!

So you know those AU fics w/ Virgil where he hides smth unusual abt himself( Like wings, Spider limbs, Being unusually tall, ect.) Bc he’s afraid of what the others will think/do if they find out?

Take that and apply it to Logan, But he’s actually been hiding it ever since (AU)!Thomas became Obsessed with Marine Biology as a kid!(i genuinely cant remember what Thomas's real life degree was gonna be b4 he switched to YouTube but for the au's sake im going with marine biologist)

What’s he hiding, you ask? Fish scales, of course!

(Continued under the cut)

Logan used to wear long sleeves all the time, and Sherlock bit with the scarf was a cover up for when he used to wear it constantly when they were younger, not that Virgil(who has spider traits in this but never thought to hide them b4 he was accepted, and by that point there was no reason to) nor any of the other dark sides with animal traits knew about it either, but his body, especially his legs and hips, were covered in shimmery sapphire blue scales, and in patches around the gills on his neck and ribs.

Why doesn't Logan wear long sleeves now? Because the scales suddenly stopped reappearing (coincidentally right around the time Thomas gave up on marine biology to do youtube) on his arms the few times they'd accidentally been pulled off some how, be it bumps/scrapes or eventually Logan getting fed up w/ the illogicalness of it all and 'removing' the rest on his arms so that he could finally wear short sleeves and not raise more questions about his health.

The scales around the gills on his neck are more tragic, as they do regrow still, to keep his gills safe. He plucks them as close to the gills as possible, before wearing masking makeup & a high collar with a tie to ensure his gills never peak out from his shirt.

It limits his normal comfortable way of breathing, but hes been doing it so long that he doesnt remember what it feels like, and thus isn't bothered by it anymore, as his gills dont open up fully anymore unless submerged under water for a long period of time.

Why is he so insistant about thomas drinking the healthy recommended amount of water? Because if Logan didn’t, he'd suffer migraines and get sick from being dehydrated in easily less than half the time it'd take for Thomas or any of the others to reach

Why doesnt he ever go swimming with the others? Because if he did, there's no gaurantee his body would let him leave the water after refusing to so much as even soak in a bathtub for years at this point

Hell, his body might even go into shock at that point.

No idea how his reveal would go, but the idea of the others spraying him with water spray bottles when he is over-dry and resultingly irritable has been brought up as an additional idea by @this-is-ske(my lovely frien who lets me info dumb abt all my aus so we can shout abt them together) and my only thought is that Logan is spiteful and petty enough to snatch a spray bottle and spray them right back.

He often needs to spray himself with water, even if he’d had a shower not two hours ago, because his scales dry out very quickly and its sensory hell in combination with even the softest of dress pants.

But the years of neglect slowly turned his shimmery sapphire blue scales into dulled greyblue, as a result from being dried out and flakey and unhealthy for so long.

He tries not to think about it too hard when he's forced to look at them.

Remus wouldn’t hesitate to toss post-reveal(and post-recovery)! Logan full out into a fucking pool, or just hop into one and drag him in with. "Dry Fishies are irritated fishies, be like me! Get wet and feel better!" *Cue Remus eye brow waggle that reflects to the rest of his tentacle arms*

No but srsly remus and janus finding iut and going "oh HELL no" bc janus knows what its like to not take care of your scales properly and Remus knows what its like to dry out.

Imagine the additional angst when Janus finds out not only about the scales but the gills on his ribs and neck too, and feels SUPREMELY guilty bc of the crook yank he did

"Its fine, its not like I could breath out of them anymore, they just bruised a bit longer" *even more concerned and upset Janus noises*

"What do you mean you cant breath out of them anymore!"

" ..One day they just wouldn't open? Sort of like the equivalent of a stuffed nose, except that they never reopened because they'd fully dried out, I think."

"I swear to god Logan I wish I could strangle you," *cue Janus wapping Logan w/ a rolled up paper, Edna Mode style, lecturing* "One day! You'll understand! Self care! Is good! For you!"

Cue them finally bullying Logan into taking care of them but no longer hiding the scales as the ones on his arms start coming back, but still greyblue, bc at this point Logan doesnt even want to deal with the immediate headache of them learning right off the bat that they Shouldnt Look Like That. He doesnt even really believe that they'll ever change back to their once brilliant blue, thinking it just a fluke with their age or something.

It takes months.

And then one day he wakes up, having been sleeping in the imagination with Remus, having indulged in underwater sleeping as a healing therapy, made better only by the fact that Remus is a rly good cuddler, and his tentacles keep them both locked together in the water, *and* one anchors them so they don't drift away in their sleep.

Remus is staring at him, his chest to be exact, where new patches of scales had been growing to meet in the middle around the gills on his ribs. He looks down and notices theres an uneven patch of brilliant blue peaking out from the sea of comparably grey scales. Then he notes that multiple patches of scales are slowly regaining their hue. It doesn't take long for the others to put two and two together about sick fish with dull scales. It confirms Logan had been sick for Years, and was only Just healing to a beginning state of equilibrium.

For some comfort w/ all this angst, when Logan does see his blue scales for the first time? He smiles, he smiles so wide at Remus. Remus probably falls in love with the way Logan's gills flare out prettily in time with Logan's smile. Logans finally convinced to take care of himself, and the first glimpse of progress has him Beaming for Days.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #platonic dlampr #intrulogical #logan angst #luka writes #luka’s aus #platonic loceit #romantic intrulogical #ask to tag #hurt/comfort

[kooksrae]

a collection of things that have made me feel a certain way

updated 23042024

not everything recommended here will suit everyone (smut/ violence/ toxic relationships) and if you do click into links please make sure you read the tws before continuing. 

Social Media AU! (text messages/ snapchat/ twitter/ insta typa vibes)

casual - @muniimyg (JJK × reader)

i have been religiously following this on one of my other tumblr accounts and it's finally completed and i'm so excited to share this with all of you!!

reading this made my insides very tingly and BUTTERFLY typa energy!

lowkey my new comfort fic!

there's some written parts here and there but it really just adds to the CONTENT and the SPICE of the whole situation

 Tiger Flower  - @v-hope (JJK × reader/ KTH × reader)

hella fluffy. makes my heart do the uwu. very much wholesome. something i stayed up till 6am reading

11/10 would stay up till 6 reading it again.

also the significance of tiger lilies is insanely aDORABLEEE 

my love for jjk has just grown a gazillion times more

Under A Shadow - @firebettercallnct (KTH × reader, slight JJK × reader)

a lil angst and a lil fluff. (as all good stories will have)

kinda wish it was longer idk. im a sucker for super long stories.

ALSO !! we get some side yoonmin action !!!!!!!!!!!

Stole your shirt - @firebettercallnct (JJK × reader)

one of my personal favs. super cute and also everyone’s on some kinda crack or sum shit idk.

p damn fluffy and when you reach the end you’ll j kind of wish you could go back to before u read it because u wna experience all the feelings agn.

ALSO!!!! we hv some namjin and yoonseok action !!!1!!

Rumour Has It - @bangtann-bangdamn (KTH × reader)

very much wholesome.

genuinely found it quite funny and it had me laughing at 2 in the morning

i dont rly hv much to say just pls go read it. 

everyone should read it once in their lives

Belong - @v-hope (KTH × reader)

THIS IS FINALLY COMPLETED!!

something i chanced upon during my late night fanfic times and like let me tell you. a whole fucking new world. 

this was really a beautiful read. 11/10 obsessed with this. i literally spend my time rereading this.

teehee give this a read. all yall artist!taehyung fans are rly not gna regret it

Daylight - @maravillamin (MYG × reader)

will make you decide to legally change your name to y/n

ever wanted to be a single mom because you got a divorce with your useless husband? no? well now you wish you were.

literally dad!yoongi and mom!reader

also you have the cutest friends? like this is so cute. makes me want to birth children

touch of him - @herherteartear (JHS × reader) 

you are living the perfect girl life kinda thing and hoseok's the opposite of it all

this is serving polar opposites but not really kind of energy. 

also this is giving off "business only" family energy if you know what i mean.

Actual written things !!

 Monster - @btssmutgalore (JJK × reader)

currently deactivated so i've linked the fic from dee's ao3

this started so many years back and just a few days ago it finally became a completed fic!!!

i have an extremely soft spot for this jungkook.

personal favourite is chapter 18. like literally my heart expands a gazillion times just thinking about this

ngl i was here more for the plot than for the smut. truly chef's kiss

charred - @neonlights92 (JHS × reader)

this was genuinely quite intense. i dont really know what i was expecting out of this tbh. 

development of story plot was great! I enjoyed seeing how it unfolded bit by bit.

this was part of a collection of fics written about mafia!bts n this is my literal fav. i feel like it wasnt too cliche?? (take note of how i said i feel, bcs at this pt i dont even know what counts as cliche anymore) but hey to me this was good n refreshing n i liked it n now i want to share this with all of u

Beloved - @bang-tan-bitches (MYG × reader)

major yandere energy. lowkey disturbing but some part of me is just madly obsessed with this. 

also when you picture daechwita!yoongi it really just drives you craycray

i really dont know what else to say?! but do give this a read (only if you're comfortable)

this is definitely not going to be something that everyone is okay with reading so please check the warnings before proceeding!

love of my life - @latetaektalk  (MYG × reader)

okay this shit be painful af. this fucking broke me. idk have never been the same since. would still read it all over again.

this was about 7k words? so not the longest but it was long enough for something so sad :( 

in general really sad and emo. if you want to feel like the whole world is crashing on you pls give it a read.

the art of the rom-com - @gukyi (JJK × reader)

first of all wtf. made me feel single af. 

it’s our fav kind of enemies to lovers energy. slowburn. college au. yeah you get the gist. 

super fluffy but we love to see it. also mildly angsty but it’s all g we will get over it.

okay but also this was so longggg!!! what an experience. a solid 33k words. i nv thought i would reach the end of it but i did.

super solid read. i hope yall read it too.

blossom - @namfinessed (KTH × reader)

okay first off, yall alrdy know i love hella long fics. this was 38k+ words.

please only read this when you have the time istg i was staring on my tiny screen and really wanted to just fall asleep but also it was too intriguing to just sleep on.

yall rly be sleeping on this though. a very solid read.

i mean you really can’t go wrong with florist!taehyung energy amirite

bad influence: collection - @noteguk (JJK × reader)

so this is an ongoing one as well. 

truth is i havent finished reading whatever has been posted yet. BUT i do have a very good reason for it, which is that i’m not ready to be in a position where i realise i’m going to be done reading it.

frm wtv i’ve read this is some sexy ass story. 

honestly you could read it as individual parts i guess? but for the real feels pls read all the way from the first part. 

oh and it’s a hella hot badboy!jungkook so yes if you r into that you def should add this to your must read list.

easy - @itsamejin (JJK × reader)

okay so here’s the deal with this. collegeau! fuckboy energy. bets are made. yea you kinda get it.

It’s a very basic boy takes bet and ends up falling for the girl kinda thing but idk i really enjoyed the process of reading it. 

you get the good fluff and angst balance in this too so :>

Thoughts Of You Keep Me Awake At Night - @hollyhomburg (MYG × reader)

yoongi asking for cuddles i-

reason stated above should be reason enough for you to go read this

it’s a short 2.1K word situation here so you don’t have to spend a whole hour on it heheh

very nice experience if you’re reading this while it’s late at night and you are alone in bed and can’t seem to fall asleep.

Get You The Moon - @bymoonchild (KTH × reader)

enemies to lovers. do i really have to elaborate on this?

you get to see soft!taehyung and also like jock!taehyung all in one !!

i felt shy reading this. was super absorbed.

ooh and it’s smutty too! 

it’s relatively long (we’re talking 19.6k words besties) but wow the build up, the plot the everything is peak!!!

Paper Cranes - @aquaminwrites (KTH × reader)

we are talking best friends to lovers. some next level fluff. kim taehyung is completely to die for here. i kid you not.

made me wish someone would like me this much lol.

i felt the butterflies reading this. got some post reading depression after this,,,

18.3k words about how you n kth are like the best in the world?? so like go read?!!

anti-baby fever - @gashinabts (JJK × reader)

pls this was so funny and for WHAT!?

it genuinely made me laugh out loud at 2.32 in the morning. 

okay but it’s smutty so you gotta be able to like the spice to read this

it’s also short (4.5k)!! which is a blessing if you are planning to read smth real quick before going to bed!!

but i found myself relating to this though bcs i do not want to have babies unless it’s w bts :’) 

SIN CITY - @btssmutgalore (PJM × reader)

currently deactivated so i've linked the fic from dee's ao3

okAY YALL so this is the one thing that lives in my head rent free. istg there was a period a while back when i went on a social media cleanse or smth but i just had to go back onto tumblr to get updates on this

genuinely the one thing that keeps me going

it’s completed so u can experience all the emotions in one sitting if you are up for that. 

has my whole heart.

dear @btssmutgalore i love you for writing this. pls marry me.

and yes it is spicy my dears. very spicy.

you do get a decent amt of fluff n angst ish n smut so yes it covers all bases.

and you get sum dancing jimin :>

you won’t be able to control yourself istg pls go and read. 

Waking Up Next To The Sun - @houseofwhalien (JHS × reader)

this do be wholesome hours w bby jung hoseok

wholesome morning becomes spicy morning and then back to wholesome morning

okay and this is truly the duality of jung hoseok. like i can literally picture the man being exactly like this

is a short 1.8k of sunshine to bless yall !

Interrupted - @kimnjss (JHS × reader)

let me get yall with this. this is actual spice spice. we are talking extra chilli pepper flakes. 

i’m not usually one for something that is just full on spice but like i was feeling sum typa way when i read this. 

it’s idol!jhope in here who also turns out is your boyfriend. istg y/n do be the luckiest uGH.

it isn’t too long (4.3K words) so it works as a quick read to convince your brain to have some sexy hoseok dreams.

there was a bug - @kimnjss (KNJ × reader)

i felt frustrated reading this man. like the push and pull - istg my girl y/n and kimnamjoon really needa get their shit tgt. 

this was so dirty and for WHAT!! making me shy in bed when i’m all alone with my phone hngghh

has quite a bit of angst and fluff but it’s worth it. the 7k words are all worth it.

baby, my baby - @pjimims (JJK × reader)

okay this was something i read years ago but as i was scrolling through the things i liked i found it again! 

thought it was quite cute

i mean come on dad!jungkook is to die for

am kinda sad they aren't writing anymore fics tho :"(

Angel in the Darkness - @icyhobi (JJK × reader)

okay this made me go oop

i remember seeing like part 3 and i was like okay gna wait for it to be a completed fic before i start reading. and i finally got around to reading it yesterday.

mafia!jungkook is kinda my thing now i guess idk

also wth they all be so sneaky sneaky about everything

will make u go omg out loud

anyway i think i am going to hv I trust issues now (finish reading it and you'll know what i mean by this)

Meet The Parents - @btssaysstudy (KNJ × reader)

idk what it was about this that made me feel very warm but i liked it a lot

it's super short and wholesome

and idk it's nice to think that our dear kim namjoon would be like this 

cute read for when you're busy and need a short burst of fluff to get you through the day

Serving Bitterness - @guksthighs (KSJ × reader)

let me start off by saying this is like the first seokjin fic im recommending omg

this is a super short one (1.8k words) so it's something that you can probably squeeze in during the busy mornings. 

let me first start off by saying y/n is really not here to play lol

also you do gonna be experiencing some second hand embarrassment at the end of it though oof

but yes pls read it was kinda cute, kinda wish it was longer though 

do you want me (dead?) - @gukyi (JJK × reader)

this is a hogwarts au story!!!

dont you just love ravenclaw seeker mr jjk bcs im obsessed!!!!

v cute fic honestly

10/10 wld recommend

pls give it a read hehe

Exitus Acta Probat - @bang-tan-bitches (MYG × reader)

guys,,,, mafia!yoongi pls i am on my knees.

funnily enough i discovered this ages ago during one of my late night tumblr reads but then i lost it the next morning. was able to find it again a few days (?) ago!!

i really liked how yoongi pulled sneaky moves and basically lulled y/n into believing whatever he wanted her to believe to get what he wants

it's lowkey giving yandere(?) and something about yoongi in yandere-ish vibes really keeps me going on a daily basis

tbh my mind sometimes goes back to them and makes me wonder where they are now!!

(pls,,, if you ever want to write more for them,,, i am so ready for it!!)

The one that got away (literally no longer exist; but just going to keep it here)

the snow king - @bloomsuga (KTH × reader)

you got fanatsy stuff going on. you got hella angsty and fluffy all at the same time. besties i think we found the best ice prince! kim taehyung out there.

also we have some slight cutie jimin moments. ( a definite plus!)

oh yea and it gets smutty but in like the most beautiful way.

also this was a long read of 25k words. but it’s a an absolute beautiful creation. did not know that we could put 25k words altogether to make such a masterpiece.

lowkey wanted to cry bcs its way too good.

Willow - @breakiebunny (JJK × reader)

i am not going to ever recover from this.

the number of times i find my brain just drifting over to this work of art is not okay.

my whole heart is still out here hoping desperately that in some alternate universe where this is true that everything is nice and works out great

i felt kinda empty after finishing this ngl,,,

and this is a one-shot,,,

will always hold a piece of my heart

stood up - @parkdatjimin (MYG × reader)

okay everybody. pls. just read this pls.

like this was bloody long. fricking 26.7k words. but what a great use of 26.7k words.

it's like shakespeare rose from the dead and was like what if i dropped another hit!!! (okay not a hit,,, idk it's 2 in the morning i cant think)

for someone who has never even been in a relationship in her whole life i really FELT THIS like in my heart, in my soul typebeat

also working some meh food n beverage job is literally my life. laugh out loud. going to daydream about this when i'm at work tomorrow.

bitter sweet - @mikrksmos (JJK × reader)

once again ladies and gents, my fav typa thing; bf2l

my heart. so full of love. for bestfriend!jk

also wtheck jungkook with a lil sibling? heck yea sign me tf up!!

i think i was very much overwhelmed with the emotions that our dear jk felt bcs sometimes life do be like that

plot was p dang noice!!

#kooksrae recommends! #kooksrae is reading! #bts fic rec #fluff #angst #smut #slowburn #bts #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts au #jungkook #jimin #taehyung #namjoon #hoseok #yoongi #seokjin #college!au #badboy!au #best friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #mafia!au

[talas-starlight]

a modern romance - peter parker x reader

summary: the downfall of meeting peter online and falling for him

warnings: angst, rly sad lol, confusing feelings - not that long?

a/n: hiya friends!! this is my very first marvel/ peter fic & im hella nervous but lmk what you think!! hehe 

The moons iridescent glow glimmers upon the sad expression that etched its way onto your face. There’s nothing special about the sky on this particular night. The deep blue so dark, you’d pass it off as a plain black if anyone asked. You suppose it perfectly matches the emotions which have weaved its way through your soul. Muted ticks of the living room clock squeeze their way under your door. It’s not loud enough to block out the silence that encompasses you, allowing the thoughts you skilfully blocked out throughout the day to invade your mind. Yet as you sit on the edge of your bed after your entire family has finally fallen asleep, for once in your life you wished it was loud again. Loud enough that you wouldn’t be so consumed with your thoughts that you don’t even notice the small breeze swaying your curtains side to side because you forgot to shut the window.  

It’s not your fault.

Screwing your eyes shut, you take in the deepest breath you can muster. Your lungs filled to the brim with air, but instead of making you feel alive, its wholeness makes you choke back a small cry.

Deep down, you acknowledged that you fell for him. You even saw it coming with your history of getting attached for too quickly, but for the first time you were bothered by the outcome. So, bothered you wanted to scream.

On one hand, you knew the chances of it working out were slim to none. How could you so foolishly let yourself open up to the point where you’d fall for his sweet, bright smile and soft curls through your phone screen?

Online relationships never work.

But alas, after talking so consistently for so long, you allowed yourself to believe that for once it could genuinely work out.

**

“Did you know we’ve been talking for three months straight now?!”

“Really?! It honestly feels longer than that. To think it was all because I tweeted about being stressed for my chemistry final.”

His laugh fills your heart, “You’re lucky I came to the rescue. But I guess you could say this is our anniversary.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Anniversary? Does he mean he’s interested in me?

Letting out a small breath you didn’t even realise you were holding in, you giggled, pushing the hopeful thoughts aside. It wouldn’t work; he lives in a completely different country.

Eyes glancing to the side, you’re nervous to even look at him. You gulp. “How are you so sure?”

It's silent. Despite the slightly blurry connection between the two of you, you notice a small blush creep its way onto his face.

“Pete?”

“I may or may not have scrolled all the way to the top of our conversation to check?”

It was at that point where you felt like your heart skipped a beat. Your chest was freezing completely and every logical thought you’ve been trying to drill into your brain not to yearn for the American boy fly’s out the window.

Play it cool.

“Aweee! I knew you were whipped.”

As the weeks went on from that conversation, you continued to grow more and more infatuated with the boy through the screen.

That was your exact downfall.

While only ever being able to communicate online at obscure times of the day, you initially saw it as a blessing. Study for uni during the day, talk to peter before you go to bed.

Alas, it was a curse in disguise.

Finding yourself thinking about how he would make you laugh and completely over the moon every single night, you eventually became reckless. As he would fill you in on the Star Wars marathon he had with Ned while you were sleeping, it became impossibly hard to ignore how your heart would yearn to be there with him. To see him in his complete element in person. To rest your head on his shoulder as he stared with amazement towards the screen. You knew it wouldn’t happen, but what did you do instead? You confessed.

It all seemed harmless at first. What could go wrong? Yes, he might not feel the same way, but it’s not like you’d actually have to face him. He’d still want to be your friend regardless.

Or at least that’s what you told yourself.

Cringing at the confidence you had in yourself a week prior to your confession, frustrated words of abuse towards your actions swim in your mind.

When you confessed during a game of truth, he actually admitted there were feelings there for you too. Yet as the days went on, feeling confident enough to tell him how cute he looked during your daily facetimes or snapchats… you felt him drifting away—pulling back. Almost as if he were a man overboard that didn’t want you to jump into the ocean to bring him back.

Smooth streams of air push their way out from your parted lips. Screwing your eyes shut, you shove the heels of your palms against them desperately willing yourself to not break down in sobs.

Why did you have to ruin it?

You wanted to be mad. Furious. You kept telling yourself that he could’ve said something. He could’ve been honest with you and give you a chance to get over your feelings so you could both stay friends. But he didn’t. The reality was it honestly felt like he let go completely, and it didn’t matter how frustrated you were as you suffered halfway across the world.

You didn’t know what you could do to bring him back, and there was absolutely not a single thing you could do about it.

*Ding!*

It was a notification from peter. It wasn’t a ‘hi’ or a ‘how are you?’ but he sent a TikTok to you for some random comedy skit. The first form of contact in three days.

Maybe it wasn’t like before. It may never return to how it was before and your contact with him will most likely fade into nothing at all, but you couldn’t help but smile a little because he was still there.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

taglist: lmaO ok so i dont have a taglist for peter or tom or whatever but im just guna tag some mutuals/ friends i do have on here that are involved in the fandom - im so sorry for tagging u in this if u didnt want to be! i wont do it in the future unless u actually want me to but eep! but eek feel free to give me feedback or what u think :)

@kelieah @hollanderfangirl @peterbenjiparker @euphorichxlland​ @stuckonspidey​

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker x fem!reader #ned leeds #ned #marvel #spider man #spider man far from home #spiderman homecoming #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman x you #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n

[solasan]

15-25 for ced and alistair!

15. how adventurous are they?

oh, super adventurous. in any way u could possibly take that. out in the world, they’re both stupid and curious (truly some bimbo/himbo solidarity here) — cedany a little more so, because she’s obviously not seen much of the world, so she’ll often get distracted by something shiny or interesting in the wilderness and everyone (bar zev and leliana, who couldn’t lose her if they tried) has to take a few minutes to try and find her again.

in more, uh, intimate settings, cedany’s down for basically anything, and alistair wants to learn all he can. they’re both very careful abt making sure consent is a Big Thing between them, because of cedany’s unspoken issues there, but as long as they’re both interested in trying something new, they’re good. they’re a little less adventurous once they get back together, ‘cause they’re both in their mid-forties and have lived a lot more and have very little time left to be together, since they’re, y’know, on their calling, so they’re more concerned with just having each other, but they stay being horny so props to them i guess

16. do they keep secrets? lie? cheat?

alistair is less prone to secrets — he’s big on honesty — but given that most of cedany’s are very personal, trauma-based ones, ones she refuses to even acknowledge exist, he doesn’t often push for more from her on that front. neither of them are big liars, at least not with each other.

cheating is— a little more complicated. during his marriage, alistair kinda cheats on gwenore with cedany once or twice, but given that gwenore’s aware of these dalliances (after the first one, which was a shock) things get a little murky there. there’s also the issue of him Being Married that means he’s probably Technically cheating on cedany, but it’s, again, super complicated. she also takes other lovers over the years, but they’re technically broken up for most of those. by the end, though, there’s none of that. again, they’re desperate to just have each other again lmao

17. what would make them break up? would it be permanent?

in canon, they break up bcos of the whole ‘im a king and i cant marry a warden or a mage’ bullshit schtick, but that’s not permanent. they actually give their relationship a try more than once in the following years, but it just never works out — the timing is bad, or things are too difficult for them, or he has a family and can’t bear to disappoint his son. they do eventually reunite for their calling and remember why they loved each other and just say fuck it, let’s be in love before we die

outside of canon— they might near a breakup when kids became a topic of conversation, but idk. homeboy has that dialogue abt wanting any future at all with the warden, so ???

18. what are their dates like? how long do/did they date? do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

they don’t rly have ‘dates’. unless like… sharing a bowl of stew on a log by the fire together during a night watch and then sneaking off to shag in their tent counts? which is a shame bcos i rly do think alistair would pull out all the fucking stops for that shit — dinner, roses, the whole shebang.

they date technically for only like ??? six or seven months ?? but there’s a lot of tension leading up to that, and then they have a whole angsty entanglement for literally 25 years after that so…… it dont make cents luv x

during those 25 years they need to take breaks from each other all the time, bcos it’s painful to be around each other. but when they’re together during the blight ? could not pry them away from each other if u tried. they’re like halves of a whole, as cheesy and disgostang as that is

19. what do they fight about? what are their arguments like? how do they make up?

arguments between these two are loud and often involve cedany turning into a swarm of flies to chase him when her throat gets sore from yelling. they’ve fought abt a lot of shit over the years, too — in the beginning, she was pretty certain he was an actual, certified, mage-killing templar, so she picked on him relentlessly over the pettiest, tiniest things. then things were cool between them when they were dating, and then the messy breakup happened, and then cedany burned amaranthine to the ground and alistair was fucking pissed at her, and then he got married, and—

yeah. they’ve fought over a lot of stuff. they made up grudgingly in the early days, usually pushed to do it by leliana or wynne, but later on they don’t even rly apologise ??? they just kinda act like nothing happened, which is somehow almost worse, but neither of them rly knows how to cut through all the bullshit and hurt surrounding their relationship to be honest with each other

20. what does their home look like? their room?

:((( it’s just their tent during the blight. after that, they never share space again

21. do they share any interests or hobbies?

they share an interest in running at things with war-cries ??? shdkfhsk no they share other interests too; they’re both funny and like prodding at their companions for entertainment, and they could also both play with max (ced’s mabari) for fucking hours. alistair always lets cedany loop her flower crowns around his head or neck too, like a proper supportive boyfriend

22. does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

does his being king count as work ???? probably. so yes

23. how do they hug? kiss? tease? flirt? comfort?

hoo boy let’s go

hug: long, big bear hugs. like, spine-crushing ones. they’re both super duper touch-starved, so they sorta cling to each other. she’ll tuck her head into his neck or under his chin, and he’ll bury his face in her hair or shoulder or rly anywhere he can reach. they cuddle all the time when they’re Together together, genuinely

kiss: tentatively, at first, bcos alistair has no idea what he’s doing. after he’s gotten the hang of it, though, it’s usually passionate af — biting, tongues, everything. alistair is usually the one to soften the kisses, because he’s a big ole’ romantic, in which case they’re that gross couple just pulling back and leaning in to kiss each other again and again. by the end, though, they only have a couple of soft kisses — they’re mostly desperate, by that point, and they’re crying during a couple of ‘em, because who’s to know but them, right ??

tease: alistair teases clumsily. he once did a strip-tease for cedany and then got stuck inside his own shirt. cedany was laughing so hard she couldn’t help him for a good five minutes. cedany’s much more proficient at teasing him. he hates her for it — he’s always bright red by the time she’s done

comfort: quietly, surprisingly. neither of them are good at dealing with real, deep, emotions. they’re both very tactile people, so generally comfort will just involve sitting right beside the other, pressed close, so it’s not technically a hug — bcos cedany especially will never accept comfort outright, for fear of looking weak — but they know the other is there. if one is crying, though, the other will hold them; stroke their hair, their back, that kinda thing

24. any doubts about the relationship?

yea for obvious reasons shdkfhsjkd this is getting so long im just gonna rapid-fire move on u kno theyre messed up

25. how much time do they spend together? do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

in the blight, loads. after, very little. they’ll go years without seeing each other, honestly. alistair tries to share his feelings a couple times over the years but ced shuts that shit down bcos she just CANT. queen of holding things in. ok this is done im sorry emily ily

#this is 1.3k. i have a fucking problem #IM SORRY FOR GOING ON ABT THEM ILY #thank u for asking emily ur a babe 💖💖💖 #ch: cedany amell #denerims #answered

[96xie]

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

[primeadv]

SITS DOWN

PULLS OUT 10 GIANT ALBUMS :))) 

(this came out way longer than I intended im so fuckgkdsdf sory)

How I feel about this character: EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I’M IN LOVE WIHT RATCHET. I love him in all iterations of Transformers because he’s always the tired, pragmatic one of the group. In contrast, he’s also almost tiredly optimistic in some ways. He won’t get out of bed, but if someone gets shot in the head he’ll spend however long and beyond to resuscitate them. There’s 2 halves to this--the me who identifies with the beating exhaustion he exudes, and the me who’s in awe that he’ll still fight his way through life.  I won’t... get into each continuity...because that’s too much, so I’ll stick with probably the most unpopular version of him and that’s IDW (my impression, anyway). IDW Ratchet gets a lot of flack for being way too sour and like, maybe not selfish, but uncaring. He cares! A lot! He’s always thinking about everyone in really surprisingly thoughtful ways. Like when he’s 90% sure he’ll die due to Overlord and his last words are to promote First Aid to CMO (he’s ready!! god that’s sweet), and to give his hands to Whirl (though maybe a bit blindsided, he’s paid attention to some roots of Whirl’s trauma). Or yeah he’s hella mean to Drift in the beginning, but when Drift is dying in his arms he’s scREAMING at him “you’re gonna make it! You’re gonna be fine because I’m gonna make sure you’re gonna be fine”. He can be an asshole, but he knows the time and place. Death isn’t something to play with--he’s seen probably countless friends die, and he doesn’t want that to happen again. Even now, even after the war.  So I feel very confused when ppl act like he’s this mean, cold person. He’s exTREMELY emotional. He’s probably way too invested in everyone’s lives, honestly? He interrupts a round table story for Rung just to reminisce on the veery last time he, OP, and Roller were together in the same room (not even hanging out or anything, just being together one last time. who remembers that after 5+ millions years??). He started an illegal clinic in the bad part of town because he wanted to put his skills to better use! Like! LOL.  ALSO, a point that i think is unfair is that ppl think his atheism is just really mean. IT is! But I think it shows just how much of an emotional and extremely, deeply hurt person he is. It gets aggravating when he’s condescending of religion, because there’s no simple logic to it. He reacts the way he does because he’s a hurt person who’s gone through years of trauma and this is his way of coping. Is it healthy or right? Nah, but it’s humanizing. It’s why when he becomes closer to Drift he occupies this weird between space where he snarks but also tries to indulge more in perspectives outside of his own in his own dumb old tsundere way. He’s a person who believes in justice, ultimately, and religion to him doesn’t fall under justice.  ALSO, can I say that his inability to say good byes is so.. like relatable? I have rly bad social anxiety, and so I’ve definitely ghosted people who’ve been nothing but really supportive for me. It’s not because I wanted to burn them, but it freaks you out needing to, not even say goodbye, but communicate with ppl. And for Ratchet--how many times was he FORCED to say good bye to friends + patients who were dying beyond his help? Maybe, if he could help it, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. And it’s tragic the times he’s just left, these were people who ended up either dying for falling astray into insanity, i.e., beyond his help. But he learns. He chases after Drift, who he actually said, in a way, good bye to (helping him off the floor after being attacked, also I should point out that a very tiny handful of people were comfortable interacting w/ Drift at all, and how much Ratchet just doesn’t give a shit abt how other ppl think abt him. he’ll help drift off the floor bc t’s the right thing to do). He says goodbye in his old dumb way--First Aid calls him out on it. ALSO his trust in First Aid is super cute. ALSO he’s like.. genuinely nice to Ten (he helped him get a date with Minimus!!!). And he’s not afraid to call out on other ppl’s bullshit (telling rodi straight you dont deserve to be captain which, at the time, was really true). He’s also SUPER smart. Also there’s that post on tumblr that pointed out that Ratchet immediately goes to deescalate conflict. He’s willing to put aside pride and anything if it means ultimately coming to a resolution where EVERYONE involved is safe. The only time he doesn’t is FUCKING OVERLORD who he rightfully, immediately, tries to briefly incapacitate to lockdown his medibay (protect patients/information). Ok I gotta stop I can go on forever just going page to page. Also, despite my love, I can totally point out his flaws. He’s grating when it’s unnecessary, he’s abhorrently bad at communicating, he’s privileged, he’s narrow-minded at times, etc. ec. But again what I love about him is that despite all that, he’ll throw his own self out the window for others’s well-being bc he genuinely, genuinellyyy cares about other people. If only he could care for himself //cries All the people I ship romantically with this character OH god... everyone. He’s my bicycle.  ok look, ya’ll know I’m an intense dratchet shipper and I could literally write a god damn essay. ... here’s another essay???!! So, I’ma be real, I wasn’t a super dratchet shipper before. I wasn’t anti (i have no notps), but I was just “yeah they’re cute i guess haha”. But 99.99% the reason why I ship anything is all for super cute adorable fanart. and I kept drawing them because 1) ratchet’s my fav, 2) drift is super popular so I figured I should learn to draw him. And they became the only 2 mechs I could draw. I used to be way more into Scavengers + megarod. I used to only like 1 dratchet fanfic and that’s bc it was less romantic and more plot centric (still a fav tho). Then I kept seeing cute fanart, I would read posts by other dratchet shippers too about what makes them so nice? And I was yeah.. oh yeah. And it doesn’t help that in Lost Light, drift is CONSTANTLY by Ratchet’s side. He’s constantly checking up on him and holding him and touching him, like as if Ratchet is the thing that he needs to make sure, at all costs, is safe.  In Drift’s life, Ratchet is the one who appears to him when he needs support the most but is in the most denial of it. When Drift is at the brink of death, overdosed and about to be broken apart and Orion brings him to Ratchet’s clinic. Ratchet patches him up pro-bono and tells him that he sees something special in him.  like??? can you imagine how that feels? To have no one believe in you--you don’t even believe in yourself, and yet here’s this person who tells you “you’re gonna be great”. And it totally doesn’t hit Drift in anyway, at least in a way that’s tangible to him, until much later in life. Or maybe it does (hey, how do you weave character narratives when it’s been written by like 3 different ppl shrugs). And that statement means 2 different things to them. To Drift, it’s a reminder that he’s worth something, even if it’s a sliver of nearly nothing to hold onto. To Ratchet, it’s a reminder that the greatness he saw led to the deaths of thousands of people.  HEY can you imagine this person you saved, patched up, tried to encourage, ended up being a mass serial killer in the future? (have you ever read Monster by Naoki Urusawa). Ended up killing people you loved?  So it’s no wonder that a good part of Ratchet is absolutely mad at Drift. And I think if that was all, they probably would’ve ended up being amicable. But Drift also ended up being super religious and seeing the hand and primus in everything and oh my god is this person really waxing poetry on the value of life when he, himself, shot several bullets at me at one point?  I also believe they are uncomfortably similar as they are different. The reason why they constantly butt heads is they’re two people trying to escape a past they don’t want and found complete opposite ways to cope with their losses. Drift found religion, Ratchet is gratingly pragmatic, and they see each other and go “how could this guy choose to be this way?”. I’ve heard ppl like to cite the annual as the reason why they could never work out. BUT, can I point out, that they act around each other in a way they don’t with anyone else? Drift gets SO MAD. Ratchet gets extremely talkative and incredibly personal (pulled out an electro slug from someone’s spark, holy shit that fucking traumatized you didn’t it??). They challenge each other emotionally, and it’s so fucking difficult bc they’re both extremely depressed and suffer from PTSD and would probably rather just go on their dumb space adventure and look at stars--take 2 emotionally constipated idiots and you get them. And hell no, don’t tell me Drift is in-tune with his feelings bc he’s 10000% not. He uses religion to cope with a past and life that he doesn’t want to think about. He tries to re-contextualize himself because he hates who he is. OUCHHH. And Ratchet MAKES him confront the parts of himself he hates--bc Ratchet has seen his worst traits and isn’t afraid to make him think about it.  So why do they work out eventually? They realize how important they are to each other. Delphi, Drift saves Ratchet’s life while he’s barely holding onto his own because he probably feels like he owes Ratchet his own life. And that’s a huge turning point in their relationship--Ratchet sees that... Drift tries really really fucking hard. My friend Zig pointed out that post-Delphi, Drift is eating energon w/ chopsticks (what a fucking nerd), and you can see in a later panel that Ratchet (who chose to sit next to Drift) is using those chopsticks too. IT’s such a small thing, but they’re becoming closer by sharing and learning from each other. And then Drift takes the fall and leaves. And Ratchet realizes just how important Drift’s presence is in his life. I mentioned it already lol but the scene where Ratchet helps Drift up off the floor and it’s superimposed with the love message Rewind left for CD. They care about each other so much!! And Ratchet chases after him!! HOLY SHIT. If that isn’t romance, what is?? lol I kid, but it’s obvious just how important Drift’s presence meant to him. IT’s really because they became so so so close in a way that can’t be described as just friends. They deeply understand each other in really uncomfortable ways and bring out the absolute worst and absolute best in each other. And this point is where Ratchet again appears when Drift doesn’t realize he needs someone in his life. Drift thinks he can be a loner and just float aimlessly and voicelessly--hell no! He needs friends, he needs community. He NEEDs belonging, because he wants to belong somewhere. And Ratchet helps bridge him back to friends and found family.  And Ratchet slowly changes the more he’s with Drift. He reads religious text and tries to brag about it bc he’s a dumb tsundere lol but he’s trying to understand Drift’s interests more even if it takes a decade and more to get there. And Drift values him for being his rock. That’s why he’s constantly making sure Ratchet is safe and unharmed, because he owes at least that much to him. And yeah they eventually fall in love because they value each other in a way they haven’t anyone else. IM EMO I CAN GO ONE, this all probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense but yeah. I’m just so soft to the fact that they’re horribly hurt people who don’t know how to redirect their pain, but by being together they come out healthier and more confident. IT’S RLY ROMANTIC IDKKK My non-romantic OTP for this character As much as I also love OpRatch, they are also great best friend platonic ship. They know each other best, they’ve been through SO MUCH together. It’s honestly a shame they barely interact in IDW bc the small tidbits we have, they obviously deeply respect each other’s opinions and deeply value the relationship they’ve had over the past millions of years.  I’m also all for non-romanceOTP for dratchet because I can totally imagine they go to each other to talk about things they feel uncomfortable sharing with others (they’ve seen the absolute worst of each other afterall).  My unpopular opinion about this character I don’t... think I ahve one. Some ppl view my love for his as grating lol.  One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Medic spin off.

#ratchet #dratchet

[marvmacdonald]

“she's fucking impetuous and daring, a little too bold and way too fucking fearless.”

MARY MACDONALD is 21 years old and works as an JUNIOR AUROR and is loyal to THE OOTP they were an GRYFFINDOR and are a MUGGLEBORN. SHE look like CHRISTIAN SERRATOS. 

CHARACTER PARALLELS: jessica jones ( jessica jones ), leia organa ( star wars ), arya stark ( asoiaf ), johanna mason ( the hunger games ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), rosa diaz ( b99 ), ellie ( the last of us ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), kat edison ( the bold type ), nina zenik ( six of crows ) AESTHETIC: red lipstick stains on drained cups of tea, leather jackets, cigarette bums crushed under doc martens, sitting down in the shower and letting time pass by, always wearing your gold cross necklace, messy ponytails, beer burps, laughter that’s filled with desperation, jean dungarees, screaming in your pillow, mud stained clothes, denim on denim on denim. LINKS: stats. pinboard. character tag. playlist.

history

mary had a little lamb? WRONG. mary had a little calf. because she was born on a dairy farm in the highlands of scotland ( laugh at my joke pls i worked hard on it ). she was born third to two muggles – a scottish father and a mexican mother, who loved each other deeply – and would eventually become their middle child. she could have become overlooked, but mary never felt discounted at home: while her parents were very often busy with the cows, their love ran deep.

her youth consisted of this: running through fields of grass, attending a muggle elementary where people sang songs at her ( old macdonald had a farm and mary had a little lamb, the former of which was, of course, accurate ), playing with the animals, building tree houses with her brothers and sister and playing football every spare moment she got. it was good and simple and wholesome.

of course, strange things happened, as they tend to with muggleborns: she’d explode her brother’s toy when she got angry, or let things fly around the room when she was laughing. when she found out she was a witch at age eleven, things fell in its place. and the macdonalds, while traditional catholics, accepted mary, which is the most important thing of it all. her parents were shocked, yes, but they squeezed her shoulder and promised to discover this all together.

which?? very much influenced mary greatly? because it went against a lot of things they – and she, too – believed in. magic was deemed evil by the church they attended. everything about this was supposed to be wrong, but her parents shifted their views because their love for their daughter was greater than their desire to cling to all the rules the church laid down for them, this has allowed her to have a faith in people, and while she may be cynical and bitter at times, that faith is still there.

i mean --- her parents accepted her, they were capable of openmindedness despite being traditional people in most other situations. other people can too.

hogwarts was as chaotic as home, and mary settled in quite nicely. sorted into gryffindor ( she guessed it was for her rambunctious nature, but who knew ), she found herself a second home and loved it. as it turned out, she was rather good with a wand as well – she didn’t do so good at essays, though – and genuinely liked learning ( except for history of magic. fuck that. ).

being a muggleborn had its downsides, of course, but mary never really allowed herself to feel discouraged. hurt? yes, definitely, but never discouraged. she wasn’t going to let it get to her, she told herself, but it did, especially when the harsh words turned into something more. it was during her confrontation with mulciber that mary felt true, harsh fear for the first time. she felt shut down, paralysed, depressed —– but then, after a while, she got up and took some important steps. she reported mulciber, which led to nothing, which caused her to feel angry, which in turn caused her to feel determination. if the system wasn’t going to be on her side, she’d just have to fucking change it, right? mary started throwing herself in her schoolwork, determined to join the dmle – hopefully as an auror, but any position would do. she suppressed her fear and the trauma that was there, and kept her head straight.

this entire situation is up for change and stuff when/if we get a mulciber! 

graduation rolled around and mary got the five required NEWTs to even apply. it was a nervewracking process, but once she got into auror training, she cried. like. for a full ass day. she was so proud of herself and she felt so determined and !! man. it was such a good, defining moment. around the same time, mary joined the order; she knew the ministry was corrupt, and that it’d not allow her to do everything she wanted to, when the order DID. mary had too much anger, too much determination to fight this bullshit to just stick with the ministry, and so the order seemed like the right place.

it’s only recently that mary graduated from her training and became a junior auror. it’s ... infuriating, at times, but also amazing. she hates the ministry and most of the people in it, feels paranoid in those walls, but knows that there are good people, too. people who want to better that place, like she does.

kaz brekker voice: brick by brick, i will destroy you.

also --- mary is ... very quite involved in the war. her time is divided between the order and work, and her dog. she’s determined to get this war to end. she doesn’t even care if she destroys herself in the process --- what does her life mean, if she could help save numerous people?

so right now, she’s fighting. she’s gritting her teeth and keeping her goals in the back in her mind and is focusing. and she does not always feel brave or confident or self assured, but that does not matter: mary macdonald always gets the fuck back up, and that’s what she will keep doing until she’s completely knocked down.

personality & tidbits.

mary is a human espresso. she’s so. damn. bitter?? despite the fact that she keeps on going and that she’s fighting her ass off, she’s tired and angry that things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, she’s feeling bitter about the fact that this kind of discrimination is happening right in front of her eyes and that she does not have enough power to stop it. she feels powerless, which makes her feel bitter, which makes her cynical.

still! mary is not necessarily a debbie downer to be around. she keeps her bitterness ( and hopelessness, even ) carefully hidden in boxes in her mind. on the outside, she’s filled with quips and smiles and quick comments! just a sociable bean, but just a bitter one.

is a dog person and will fight anyone who prefers cats. has a cairn terrier called bowie. she loves him more than anyone.

obsessed with tea, tbh. her ma always said that ‘there’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix’ and mary definitely agrees with this statement.

though is also a ‘whiskey in a teacup’ kinda gal

can be spotted wearing either a rly nice ass blazer or a jean jacket, no inbetween. either office-fancy or farmer-chique

fucking loves muggle culture and loves fellow muggleborns and !!!!!! she loves it!!!

very much in a take-no-prisoners mindset at this point re: death eaters. it kind of scares her, tbh, but mary is very much capable of murdering a death eater, even if she could stun them — she’s just done. she’s very. done. with them. and this whole shbang? will only feed into this.

mary is ruthless, that’s what it boils down to. she’s a lot more than that, of course, but she’s ruthless — in small things ( football matches & boardgames ) but also in bigger ones, and of course the war is the main way it shows. mary is so angry. she’s so angry and scared and tired of feeling that way and tired of being scared to lose people and herself and of death and she’s so angry that people really are this way and that they really do these things — she wants it to stop. she wants the world to be right. and sometimes she thinks the ends do justify the means.

this is why she’s chaotic neutral and not chaotic good.

like ive had her turned to dark arts before just bc she’s so desperate to. fucking win. tbh i’m sure she has a growing interest rn. stop it mary :(

and she’s also like — mary doesnt care if she ruins herself? if she becomes a bad person who’s unable to live with the shit she’s done? as long as the world is better for it, as long as kids can go to hogwarts and feel safe and the world is a safe place for everyone. what does her soul matter in the grand scheme of things? she’d burn in hell forever if it meant the rest of the world changed for the better.

emotionally driven mess of a being

is catholic but struggles a lot with religion and feeling faithful, but she does still identify is a catholic, it’s just? complicated. it’s rly complicated and she hates it.

is a bit flighty when it comes to romance, def has a lot of one night stands/fwb situations though??? she’s just like??? i dont have time for romance its a WAR

has been trying to stop smoking for five years, but alas

a proud scot. a proud latina. proud proud proud. such a fucking lionness.

mary was a beater during her time at hogwarts and was Highly competitive. threw herself into the sport tbh after the mulciber incident. she still thinks football is superior, but you know, it isnt in the air.

she’s pan and out of the closet --- something that did put a strain on her relationship with her family. ( the fact that they could accept her magic but not her sexuality ... baffles mary, but bigots have never been very reasonable. ) she’s not very open about it at home, but otherwise ... she’s out here lovin everyone.

plot ideas!

roomies —– so mary is not Earning A Whole Lot Right Now but does not want to live at home any more because 1. its in the middle of nowhere and 2. most importantly, she’s afraid of endangering her family. she needs roomies! i’d love for her to live in glasgow/edinburgh/london/idk a city!!!

hook ups/fwb’s/etc —– mary is what the old ppl call promiscuous and she sleeps around. so ! let’s talk! former hook ups! booty calls! friends with benefits! etc etc etc!

party pals —- mary likes going to pubs and clubs in the muggle part of town bc it is a LIT way to escape the reality of the wizarding world and also, muggle clubs have better music. come party w her!!!!

in the dragon’s den together —- fellow ministry employees who side eye the ministry and whom mary can sip tea and judge their colleagues with

mudbloods club —- mary loves her fellow muggleborns and i would love some muggleborn friends that she can be buds with. ranting about dumb pureblood names and traditions and the fact that wizards dont have movies

general friendship ideas —- im just going to a bunch of ideas here: hogwarts friends, ride or dies, order pals, friendly exes, fellow tea drinkers that she can go on coffee/tea dates with, friends who are growing apart bc of the war (my fave), etc.

etc —- some other ideas i want to spitball: purists who h8 on mary’s life, fellow diagon alley employees, fellow order members, Annoyances, there is solidarity in being scottish, ministry connections, etc etc etc HIT ME UP

#maraudrs:intro

[epiphanyksj]

TELL ME ABT JK DURING UR CONCERT IN LA !!!!!! HE LOVES LA N U DIDNT TELL ME ABT IT IN DETAIL !!!!!!💞💕💖💓

oh god :(((( HHH!!!!!! ok im literally gonna go through this event by event. so I WALKED INTO THE ARENA with my friend to go find my seat and there’s a moment of silence before the beginning of danger’s mv begins playing. and up on the screen is jungkook playing outro: propose, that really pretty dramatic piano part. and let me tell you i literally burst into tears AT THAT MOMENT because it was just so overwhelming to realize that i was actually there and going to see them. and then there was the vcr and they all looked. So Good! i literally said “oh my god” so many times during the concert it was unreal i mean ive told you about this but yeah on to actual performances (read more)

so all this fire starts torching into the air and the stage lights are flashing everywhere with this dramatic music with heavy drums (think mama 2016 fire-esque). ok so im rewatching the vid i took as i write this and im laughing because everyone else is like “TRAADE OFF” and from me you just hear this hysterical “CHOO CHOO” OK thats not the point. i could barely focus in the first performance because i could not believe they were real but like he’s GORGEOUS they were all so gorgeous n i wanna gush about the others too but this is a jk ask. he is So Stable and powerful i dont know how he even does it. so after they finish performing they begin their ments…. when it goes to jk he kinda looks up like “:o its my turn” but then he goes “WASSUP” and he’s so sos ofuckginfg pretty he glows and his eyes and just his face at that point i screamed “I LOVE YOU… (weakly) jungoo….” and then he also said LONG TIME NO SEE he has the cutest voice :(.

when he starts singing in save me… his voice is so beautiful. and i already said it but his dancing is so powerful. n the way he looks at the camera… you feel it in your soul. and his voice is so good in im fine!!!!!! i was not, in fact, fine. the part where he falls to the floor then suddenly looks up is so intense.

but incredibly he looks absolutely ethereal when he stands and sings. this might sound weird but like…. the way his eyes are half closed is so pretty and he looks at peace. even more so when he closes his eyes all the way. ive said it so many times but his eyes literally are so captivating. all of bts look unbelievably good in person. also there’s supposed to be a fanchant In Magic Shop During The Instrumental Break But Nobody Did It but i faithfully went through all the way anyway.

n then. THE GOLDEN DUO VCR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre so cuuuteekjsdhdskjfh :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( like it was just such a happy pure colorful lighthearted vcr!!!!!

ok not to be cheesy but i literally got goosebumps and started tearing up when i heard his voice say “euphoria” in the silence. the pretty guitars start coming in and he’s revealed on the stage. he looks so at home when he sings it and there’s golden light all around him and he’s smiling. but when it’s not the chorus the lights are a blue color and it reminds me of the ocean in the music video. he really puts so much into his singing and just his overall performance. and when he does the high note in euphoria and the golden confetti explodes into the air and shimmers in the lights.

he puts his hand to chest often when he sings like he’s feeling it in his soul. but he also jams out really cutely! he jumped around during run a lot (and yet is ridiculously stable still) and his hair is bouncy! he headbanged a little too :( at the end of run during hoseok’s part he took out his earpiece to listen to us. his part in dna with tae is so iconic!!! rapper jk!!!!!!!!! literally even just the way he sings “DNA”!!!!

he asked us if we were having fun!!!! babie :( (side note tae is SOO cute when he talks in english). also the army bomb ocean was so pretty it was a range of colors from yellow green to purple and it was this amazing gradient.

then. Then. 21st century girls. Came On. but i need to save this gushing about the song itself for the next ask. all of them gather together to jam out in the center of the stage! afterwards jk wanders around! YOU SAY YES OR NO YES OR NO WOOAAAHOHHH

this goes for everyone else too but when he sings in gogo its like the words are just rolling out of his mouth if that makes sense.

but the transition to bst. unreal but im also saving that for the next ask. god and i keep talking about jk’s dancing but seriously him and the entirety of dance line are a serious force to be reckoned with. his voice when he sings his parts is so light and fluttery.

you shouldve heard me during his rap part of boy in luv. i was like “APPAAAAAAA” “EOMMAAAAAA” “PYEONJIIII” “MWONJIII” like i think those technically aren’t his lines but that whole section. and they cut straight to the bridge instead of doing the second verse and jk’s voice there especially combined with jimin and jin. and he holds the high note!!!!!!!

but his rap part in danger. hard fucking core. he’s so talented it’s unbelievable. this man does not hesitate when it comes to bangers or when it comes to headbanging.

airplane pt2. he saunters onto the stage like nobody’s business and sits and kicks back on that damn chair with his sultry ass voice. his falsetto is gorgeous when they do that part before hoseok’s airplane rap and at the end of the song. and i know it’s only part of the studio recording but when he does the “ah ah” part i lose my mind. the way he sits with the other members surrounding him just emanates this air of power and regality but almost in a casual way like “yeah we’re royalty, what about it?”

his outfit during fake love is perfect. all of the outfits are so good i could gush about them all day but alas this is a jk ask. his sleeves are see-through and he has shiny chains going across his chest harness and i’m sure you could find pictures of it but i hadn’t looked at concert pics beforehand so i was in shock at how good the outfits were. it’s like some performing beast is unleashed from jungkook during fake love. he’s absolutely in the zone and i couldn’t take my eyes off him because his presence is so strong especially when he’s in the center. it’s like he moves his body and projects his voice perfectly to the flow and energy of the song. fake love as a whole is so captivatingly intense it’s like you’re under a spell when you watch them perform it.

ok im burning out i can only write so much DSKJHSDF but the truth untold. it’s like he transforms into full angel form at this point. his voice is incredible and his harmonies and pitch and the emotion he puts into it. also everybody say thank you stylists!

he also has such an aura during mic drop. everybody does but it seriously is honestly such a great track live because the energy is dominating and in that moment you really know that they absolutely do own the whole arena and set the stage on fire. ugh! and the strength that he has during the dance break at the end of mic drop!! unreal!

also i can’t imagine genuinely truly hating so what. like i see so many people saying they hate it but you know that when you hear it irl that shit makes you JUMP and they have so much fun on stage especially jk! we like to make fun of him for his shoot dance but seeing him go across the stage enjoying himself so much makes you feel just as much joy as him :( at this point would it really be a performance of so what if he didn’t do it?

at this point i knew that so what was one of the final performances n i was like. What. because it really passed by like a blur it didn’t feel nearly as long as it supposedly took and before i knew it they were performing anpanman so i HAD to cheer up because that song is so cute. and jk is all smiley when they perform it! nose scrunches and all! he actually gets up in a normal way during namjoon’s part. his eyes are all big and sparkly and playful and it feels very boyish!!!

N THEN DURING THE ENDING MENT JOON CALLED JUNGKOOK “MISTER COOL GUY JK” AND JK WAS LIKE “cool guy!” n then like “make some nooooiiiise!!!” n he was smiling doing his cute scrunch and rewatching this like. ive said it 50 times already but he’s seriously so pretty. his eyes are lit up and his expression is bright and there’s a blue light shining on him but his EYESSSSS :((((( he has a slight accent which is rly cute but his pronunciation is also really good and it feels like you just want to hug him really tight even though he’s sweaty but like Would I Complain.

his voice in answer: love myself is so smooth it’s like sitting in a warm patch of sun with a cool breeze looking up at the sky. ok i know i said i was burning out but am i really. rewatching the videos makes me so happy. and his harmonies were so nice. and he was moving side to side really cutely! like one of those figurines you put on the dashboard of your car and they dance side to side! n he’s so full of love. they were all moving their arms side to side and the army bombs were moving along with them i want to cry watching it again it’s so weird thinking that i was actually there it felt like everyone in the audience became one with all the members on stage jk was acting cute and he and all the members were waving to everyone in the audience in the pit and the further away and upper levels of the arena.

for a really long time i’ve never been able to pinpoint the happiest moment or memory of my life everytime ive been asked about it. for lack of a better answer i always left it vague but ever since the concert i can easily say it was the happiest i’d been in a long time and possibly ever and i wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything else in the world

#long post #ly tour #jae.txt #asks #rainmv #nova #jungkook #concert #i didnt mean for this to get so long..... oh well

[sequoiann]

✎ it’s ya girl denise !!!!! and guess what!! yes it’s already in the header but hfsdk i’ve hit my first anniversary!!! it’s crazy that i’ve actually sustained my account for a year! im rly so so grateful tht i’ve built up this… thing…. :^) the tumblr fam + the friends ive made through this acc was a hugeee part of my 2017, and im sure it’d be an even bigger part of my 2018 ! i’d like to thank everyone for being willing to read my pile of bullcrap tht i pour out of my head, ive said this before n i’ll say it again: i never ever imagined tht i’ll have a successful writing acc on here! i’ve tried writing on other platforms (like wattpad) before but it nv rly worked out well long-term bc it became a chore for me to post n update my stories…. but it’s never like tht on tumblr bc of you sweet buttercups!!! thnk u all for constantly reminding me to take care of myself n for checking in on me randomly nd !!! for keyboard smashing your souls out + screaming @ me when i post content!! every little action you guys do rly impacts me a lot, n even when u guys just come by n drop a msg in my inbox my heart just combusts n 💞💛🚨💎💗💥💘‼ (okay enough yapping)

i honestly dont know how follow forevers work but ! i’d like to mention people tht hv, in one way or another, helped me to keep this account going! i cant mention e v e ry o n e but do know tht as long as you’ve made a single note on my dash or hv positive views on my content, you’d be in this list if i cld fit everyone!! i love you all and thnk u so much for everything!

💛: scroll 2 the bottom for a msg! 💗: bithc i’d fling myself out of the solar system for you ilysdm wth ⛅: i actl stalk ur page every few days n send in anon asks bc im a coward but haa thnk u 4 being an inspiration to humanity 💫: we dont talk a lot yet but i absolutely adore ur content!!! n i hope you’re well n happy bc u deserve all the love u can get !

a-c :

@andromedaneedsoxyjin 💗 @adoretexts ⛅ @ajuimaginary 💗 @boosoonhao 💛 @bfwooz 💗 @blondshua 💫 @bookwan 💗 @cheolshu 💫 @chittafont ⛅ @choco-seventeen 💛 @caratvocals 💛 @cosmicae 💗 @chillihansol 💛 @camera-seventeen 💫

d-o :

@dumbbelle 💛 @dreamingseventeen 💛 @gyuofficial 💫 @hansolmates 💗 @hoshidotcom  💫 @hyungwon  💫 @hxshi  💫 @honeywonu 💗 @jeongahn  💗 @joshsua 💫 @jiso2 💗 @jeong-hanie 💫 @joshpup 💗 @johshuas 💫 @jeonghney  💫 @kristian-do 💗 @kingyu97 💛 @kwoncity 💗 @lxveille 💗 @myungho ⛅ @neoyeppuda 💛 @oatmealupdates 💗

p-s :

@princeshushu @paintedshua 💛 @peachseong ⛅ @pasteluji ⛅ @pjimims ⛅ @rappershua 💫 @seventeendom 💫 @soongyuz @shuvee 💫@saythename17scenarios 💗 @starshua @sailorimagines ⛅ @swimmingfool 💫@sebongie-loves ⛅ @softmanscoups 💫 @softhaos ⛅ @soongyuz 💛

t - # :

@ttherose 💫 @taekemeaway ⛅ @tswoondere 💫 @vitaminhosh 💫 @versigny ⛅ @warmau ⛅ @welovekpopscenarios 💗 @writers-leir ⛅ @writingdummy 💗 @whatsoodo ⛅ @wonuz ⛅ @17cuties ⛅ @17cafe 💗 @17mounteens 💗

❥ @boosoonhao

love!!! okay hello hngh we hvnt talked the most yet but i dont think i’ve expressed my utmost love for you enough so yes let me tell you how much i l o v e your content, plus u post quality works so often it makes my little heart so !!! content !!! im not sure when you made your account n i think i discovered your blog a little late but thnk u for your effort in everything you do, u rly inspire me to keep working on my drafts :”) i lov you n i hope we get closer this year! even if im an awkward ass! 

❥ @choco-seventeen

chOcoOooO oh choco my juliet hskjdf hi it’s my annoying ass here to bother u again with my over-the-top affection for u!!!! you rly were one of the blogs tht made me start my own writing blog, n even when i did i nv knew i’d ever talk to u?? maybe through anon heuk but i rly thought u’d be tht holy figure up there tht i’ll never reach! i mean u are still tht holy figure but thnk u for being so friendly n nice n cute n for bcoming a friend 2 me!!! i lov u so much + okay pfft your works pffttt i wnt to frame them up in gold n hang them in my living hall wadafack bih

❥ @caratvocals

oh look another one of my inspirations whom motivated me to start out making fake texts!! kura my love hello !!! i knw we hvnt talked a lot in the recent months…? but my appreciation n love for u still ! remains ! the same !! i love your bubbly n kind personality n it’s rly similar to seokmin’s…. you’re the sun tht never goes out! thnk u for spouting random cute words bc wow thAT shiT you do makes me so soft n your texts??? my honey your texts are so legit i cackle whenever i read them !! i never know how you make them so realistic but i’d like to thank you for putting so much effort into your work ; n your scenarios omg when u released your first fic i wanted to roll in the grass n scream ! it was so good, the chan apocalypse one and the jeonghan day 27 (? i think?) one! i lov all your works basically, thnk u for being so inspiring n cute n for being yourself i lov u !!!

❥ @chillihansol

hanni hanni hanni HANNI !!! my virtual sister! the loml !!! i’ve got so many things to thank you for honestly, you’ve been tht pillar of support for me whenever my mind is just going haphazard ! n u always try to help whenever sth comes up n ure so kind abt everything i wna migrate to where u live omf // + i’ve seen u improve in your writing so much in such a short period of time i am shook tbh wht kind of black magic are u doing ?? ok but im so grateful to hv met u omg when i think abt u i honestly just…… burst into ugly tears bc wht did i ever do in my past life to deserve you ilysdm thnk u for coming into my life n staying here through all my bullsht

❥ @dumbelle

my ring ring ding a ling!!! my disney princess !!!! i love you so much do i need to say anything more!!! thnk u for always checking in on me with cute lil msgs n chatting w my boring ass ! you’re so sweet n kind n so crazy n wow i love crazy :^)) you’ve been posting such unique content on your blog…. i mean the moodboards + the speech text bubbles + the cute lil scenarios below tht?? wht the heck tht is so cute ???? the first time i saw  one of your moodboard i started chuckling 2 myself @ the dinner table n i wnted to shove the fork down my throat is2g ok ilyssm

❥ @kingyu97

feesha!! i rmb when you were still tht f anon tht i met indirectly through clar n lani, n you lil shits wouldnt tell me who u are !!! tht was a funny experience im not gna lie but tht aside, thnk u for always showing your support in my works + being my lil chat buddy!! you brighten up my days so much, sometimes u randomly pop into my inbox when im feeling under the waeather n it just… rly…. makes me smile n then sob in 54 languages bc i lov u n i hv done nothing to deserve everything u do for me n i just…. i just love u ok pls stay in my life ilyily

❥ @dreamingseventeen

yEt another one of my senpais ! my inspiration 2 write!!!! i’ve loved your works ever since i discovered cos, it’s rly one of the fics tht i rmb every detail abt bc i reread it everytime it fades from my dory memory!! i feel so honored tht i got to talk to n be friends with succch an amazing author like you, n i love how you’re just so sincere n genuine in everything tht u do! thnk u for supporting me + encouraging me when im hesitant to do stuff, im so grateful for you and i love you ! i hope you keep writing (although your cat walks all over you n your desktop kekk how cute), pls do rmb to stay healthy !!

❥ @neoyeppuda

i’d really want to make 2 separate dedis to the both of u clar n lani but this post is getting toooo long so i’ll try to be concise but at the same time (hopefully) be able to tell u 2 how much i love u!!! the both of u hv been supporting me for a while n i heard abt you guys a lot before, n when yall came into my inbox i shrieked when i found out tht it was the admins of neoyeppuda like woa i feel like a celebrity just noticed me?? the same feeling i got with choco when i interacted w her for the first time! thnk u both for being so sweet n kind n crazy with me, im so thankful tht the both of u are my friends :^) lani you’re so damn beautiful both inside out n i hope u dont forget tht, i knw things may be hard but it’ll get better - talk to me whenever alright ♡ clar you’re the adorablest fluffiest person ever ilysm thnk u for always hitting my soft spots haaaa :”))) i hope 2018 goes well for the both of u, n pls take care!

❥ @paintedshua

sophie!!! my lovely lavendar soap bar! i think you’d be able to expect wht i wna say already but thnk u for chatting with me at random times of the day / night abt random ass topics tht come off your head (or maybe mine?) ! it makes me so happy tht we’re able to talk so… calmly abt crazy topics n talk so crazily abt calm topics….. i dont think tht made sense but yes u get it hnghh thnk u for building this friendship with me! one tht i treasure with all my heart n soul!!! i hope you continue having happiness n bliss in your life bc u obviously deserve all the good u can get

❥ @soongyuz

priya!!!! wow i can write a freaking 87439-word essay for u bc i think?? tht you’ve been my longest (i dont think tht this is the correct term but) mutual? you’ve been here as heart anon, and let me tell you!!! those days!!! i wasn’t in the best emotional condition (?? ok this doesnt sound right too buT lets move on) then n your heart anon asks were so cute n so innocent n just so!! full of marshmallows n rainbow sprinkles !!! n then a priya emerged from tht n im so damn grateful tht you’ve been with me for so long, thnk u for absolutely everything tht you’ve done for me, i love u so much ♡ i hope you arent too stressed abt school + i hope ure taking care of yourself!

#omg this whole thing is longer than my graded essays hsfdkjh #i rly rly hope i didnt miss anyone bc i spent 3 days on making this #bc tumblr kept screwing up the tags ha #n yes tht's bretman in the header bc i love that bith #ohshit idk wht to tag this under so um #f: announcements #i wanted to write to so many other people but i didnt know i'd write this much for each person so the ppost is rly just too!! long!! #n i dont wnt to crash anyone's app hsdjkf im sorry if it does!! i put the read more divider all the way at the top so hopefully tht #would #minimize crashes #btw thnk u everybody for everything!! #i love u all!

[wannaonestars]

the little mermaid au! ong seongwoo

the following scenario is based on the traditional storyline. please keep note that there are many different versions of the story, and not just the disney one.

ok so you’re the mermaid/merman (your preference) who adores humans bc like it’s so cool they have legs?? the idea of having legs and being on land just FASCINATES you and you’re sneaking around the shores to watch humans

and one day you’re just swimming on the surface and saying hi to the cute seagulls when you notice the sky turning dark and the clouds getting shady so like it was basically time to go

but just then you notice a ship floating like nowhere cLOSE to the shore

even though mermaids were always called a myth and you’d get chewed out if anyone saw ur tail you’re like…I need to save them >:((

and so you swim over to save the poor souls when suddenly rain just started POURING and the winds picked up out of nowhere and then you saw a body fall into the sea

you’re like oh shIT and suddenly accelerated in water to save the poor soul

you eventually find him and you get rly alarmed bc he isn’t struggling or anything he’s just kinda lifelessly sinking

you grab him and basically turn into an underwater jet bc you’d never swam so fast no not even when your mermaid mom told you dinner was ready

getting him to shore was so difficult because 1) the human was heavy and 2) you had no legs so you had to crawl to get far enough onto land

the dude (seongwoo if y’all didn’t realize yet) still wasn’t moving and you were panicking like??? he shouldn’t be dead yet

you do the mermaid version of cpr which was to….press your lips against his to suck all the seawater out of him

a minute later you start getting dizzy because you’re getting too dry so you had to crawl back into the sea…and you proceed to go back home but you just…couldn’t get that man out of your head….

meanwhile a princess from a different country visiting seongwoo’s found him collapsed on the beach and shook him awake and seongwoo’s like…what happened??

let’s call the princess rika like that snake from mystic messenger

anywaYS

rika told him that she “”saved”” him from drowning and he’s like…oh and that’s what she ends up telling the his father aka the KING and rumors spread around the palace like crazy like everyone was like damn they probably gonna get married now

meanwhile on yOUR END you were swimming towards the sea witch’s domain to ask for a pair of legs because after being on land and feeling the frustrations of being unable to stay for too long you REALLY wanted to become a human

the sea witch asks for your voice in exchange which was…a huge price

your singing is like the only thing that anyone’s ever praised you for so giving it up would be the same as tossing away half of your identity but…u know what, in the human world no one’s gonna know u anyway  

so she casts a spell and gives you the legs u wanted and then shoots u out of the sea

after you get to shore and struggle to get the hang of walking for like 7 hours you pick up some rags to cover yourself bc that stupid witch didn’t give u any clothes

you just want to explore the village and ur getting looks bc wtf ur wearing some dirty rags with sand all over and wobbling like jello but u don’t rly care

suddenly you find a boy aka sEONGWOO in a quiet part of the area just…dancing and you were like!!! oh my gOD that’s amazing how can his legs and arms move like that…

and without thinking you start…singing a melody to go along with his movements and seongwoo snaps his head around and is like??? holy moly what but a split second later he breaks out into this wide grin and just keeps dancing and going along to your wordless song with a contemporary style

you’re a little weirded out urself bc weren’t u supposed to lose your voice??

the witch from her chamber: SHIT I FUCKED THE SPELL UP

anyways ur like lol whatever my win and when u end your song seongwoo approaches you and is like…hey, who are you?

let’s pause for a second and imagine seongwoo with a long sleeved white collared shirt with the first few buttons not buttoned and like windswept black hair

anyways ur like holy triton he’s hot and you tell him your name and he starts questioning where u live and stuff and why you’re dressed like this and when you’re unable to give him a proper answer he’s like…hey do you wanna come with me? bc he figures that you might be an abandoned child

he smiles that prINCELY smile of his and says “you sing really well. i’d love to have a performance with you again.”

and then he calls his horse over to give you a ride back to the palace

listen…if u thought seongwoo driving a car was good pls imagine prince seongwoo riding a horse

when you guys get to the palace rika dASHES towards seongwoo and swallows him into a hug and you’re both like?????

rika: bABE!!! father agreed to our marriage!!!!!!!!!

seongwoo: what

rika: it’s in two months!!!!!!!!!

seongwoo: wHAT

he’s so confused because his father literally nEVER discussed this with him and then a few seconds later when he finally understood the situation he immediately pushes rika off and sprints to his father’s study to argue

seongwoo: father?? why am I suddenly hearing news of marriage????

father: well, she did save you from drowning

seongwoo: I doubt it wtf her clothes weren’t even WET…like the most she could’ve done was shake me awake dad

father: ridiculous. I believe her claims like i’ve known her for three dayS seongwoo that’s enough for me to be able to tell that she’s an angel >:0. you’re already a young adult my son you need to find a partner soon so unless you can find a better option than rika then this marriage is gonna continue.

ten minutes later seongwoo comes out upset and annoyed and without saying anything else he just leaves for his room

you follow him bc like :((( poor bab. his door wasn’t locked so you just enter and ask if he’s okay

seongwoo smiles a little and just says “yeah…” but you knew he wasn’t

you: hey…it’s okay to talk to me about it

and tbh??? you’re literally the first person who’s ever shown any hint of genuine care for him without any motives…all seongwoo remembered from his childhood was getting spoiled silly because no one dared to get on the king’s bad side

and he tells you how he’s frustrated with all these decisions getting made for him and that he has absolutely no interest in an arranged marriage with someone who he doesn’t even know and for a whole half of hour he kinda just spills to you his entire childhood and the little things that he had been annoyed with but never had anyone to tell

and then he just exhales bc like that was sO much that he just dumped on you…and this is the point in which seongwoo unconsciously develops a special bond with you

and then he lets out a little laugh and ruffles your hair and is like lol sorry…let’s get you some decent clothes to try on ok? and he calls some maids over to get ur shit together

while changing into these weird (BUT EXTREMELY PRETTY) new clothes you realize that he was the boy you saved…but who would believe you?? you couldn’t be like hey guess what i’m the mermaid who saved u but i became a human last night

like the ppl here seem stupid but not that stupid

when you meet seongwoo again at the balcony with your combed hair and pretty clothes seongwoo was like oh my god…..they look gorgeous

he didnt say that tho like this is still ong mcongity the ongth ongster seongwoo

so he just winks and said “you’re gorgeous but….well, now ur next to me buddy ;)”

you shove him a lil and he laughs and then he asks u if you could sing for him again

and he just dances to your music all night long with an expression of pure bliss and at some point he grabs your hands and makes you dance with him hehe

cue ur dumb mermaid butt falling and tripping like 99 times but seongwoo enjoys it so much that he just laughs and pretends to fall with you

the next few days is just you and seongwoo singing and dancing like whenever y'all pass by each other in the hallways he makes the uGLIEST expression and just moves his arms and legs like an octopus and that always makes you giggle so hard bc that actually reminds u of ur octopus friends fredrick and joseph back at sea

he didn’t give a flying flick about wedding preparations and always avoided talking about it by grabbing you and fleeing to the town square to perform in front of whoever wanted to watch

rika always got livid whenever she hears that both the prince and u disappeared and would stay up as late as she could to “talk about it with her future husband” but u know what seongwoo doesn’t give a flying flick about her either so it’s just “yeah yeah” before he leaves again

you two get so much recognition and love from the townspeople they’re adore the performances so much and just get drawn to y’all like they’re in a trance

it’s so much fun!! some people even joke that u two are perfect for each other lmao

seongwoo: folds his ears to hide the blushing red tips

and then it gets to the point where!!! the king!!!!! asks you two to perform for the visiting countries!!!!!!!!!

it’s such an honor but honestly you feel so pressured bc like what if your voice cracks???? but seongwoo notices your nervousness quickly and so he walks over and grabs your hands and squeezes them and just says

“i believe in you.”

and your heart just MELTS bc…seongwoo had the softest and most gentle look on his face when he said that

“i really, truly, absolutely, definitely, totally—”

“stop,,,,right there,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,” like dammit seongwoo DONT RUIN THE MOMENT

and then he takes your hand in a much more elegant manner and leads you onto the dance floor…where the two of you perform with every fiber of your being

once your song and his dance and the thunderous applause ends seongwoo turns to you with this grin that stretches across from one end of his face to the other and u rly can’t resist smiling back as widely as he is

a short while later you two are at the balcony again laughing about stuff when suddenly seongwoo goes “you know…I really wish that this could go on forever…like, just you and i dancing and singing together until my bones break”

you don’t know what to say to that bc his expression is so serious like he doesn’t look like the usual joking dude who eats ur slice of pizza when ur not looking

and suddenly u feel seongwoo leaning closer to you….like his face is INCHES away from yours and u can feel his breath on your skin…….

“if you agree to it…i can ask my father to stop the wedding so that….you and i can be together instead…”

you’re like sweating right now bc??? what is he saying???? and for a few seconds you can’t tell whether that loud thumping sound was coming from your chest or his

“you’re the first person who i’ve been able to confide in and talk to…I don’t care what your background is, I—actually, what am I saying haha this is embarrassing, never mind—”

“yes”

his eyes pop wide open and he’s like??? what?????

you make this embarrassed lil smile and just go,,, “i’m willing to spend the rest of my life with you, ong seongwoo.”

seongwoo’s entire body just flares up and this burst of joy EXPLODES within him and he’s absolutely unable to contain it so he suddenly pulls you into a bear hug and spins you around and around

and he’s laughing like…after over twenty years of being treated like a he could never be a normal person and enduring the fake kindness being thrown at him for self benefit he finally found happiness and it’s honestly the BEST feeling that he’s ever experienced

and you’re laughing while in his arms but the you suddenly say “"hey…but what if i’m a mermaid?”

he almost drops u like wHAT

but then a second later his wits take over bc hey he’s ong mcongity the ongth ongster seongwoo

and he makes this playful grin and is like “it was my childhood dream to marry a mermaid”

this is probs gonna be like the longest scenario I ever write… anyways, thank for reading this far LOL I hope you liked it!! this is probably 100 times more cliche and stupid than it already was in my head but lmfao i’ve always kinda wanted to put twists in original fairy tales. maybe i’ll do this for other members? idk, we’ll see how much inspiration I can get ٩( ᐛ )و 

#ong seongwoo #ong seongwoo scenarios #wanna one #wanna one seongwoo #wanna one imagines #ong seongwoo imagines #produce 101 season 2 #produce 101 seongwoo #produce 101 scenarios #pd101s2 #produce 101 imagines #wanna one scenarios

[dreamy-stars]

1/1/20

holy shit i haven’t spilled any thoughts in so long! i’ve changed so much! and i’m happier now. it’s a new decade! i have so much to say

2019 was a great year as i actually did things that would have made me uncomfortable. spring semester of 2019 was a shitshow i think i dropped a class and only took three. dropped diff eq with the bald guy and i remember sitting in class no thoughts head empty and trying not to cry. and then going to some tables on campus and calling mom and bawling and apologizing. somehow i got through the semester after crying over tests and assignments. OH i started lifting weights and working out and i love it. i love being strong. being healthy is something i’ve always wanted to work towards and the women on weights program was so enjoyable. i was trying to get rly toned to look good for the nct concert actually. unfortunately i haven’t worked out much since it ended :( hoping to get back into the gym once the semester starts again. i wanna be RIPPED for summer 2020 >:)

working at sweet hut was a great experience as i was able to learn more about myself and add to my resume! i actually learn pretty fast and even though i messed up a handful of times i just want to give myself some credit hehe. i liked making new friends there, as well as bonding with my cousin more. before, i would be a bit afraid of the long silences, but now we talk about whatever and never shut up <3 working a customer service job made me appreciate the fact that i am still working towards a degree. i don’t think i could do that for an extended period. my feet hurt every day and my hands were so dry and getting blisters like crazy. ofc night shift is crazy but i loved getting tons of tips each night. We Live In A Society. i think i became more confident in small talk? idk being on the register made me better but i didn’t even do it much. i also value customer service and tipping much more i always try to tip when i can. anyway i miss making drinks and burning the sugar on the creme brule. 

after working i became more motivated to work hard in fall semester. for this semester i picked two classes to be on the other campus so i could see if i could actually talk to ppl. it wasn’t that much of a change but ppl are much more open to talking in the first week i guess. i’m gonna miss that. joining vsa was the best decision this year i think. it took some courage to talk to ppl first but working at SH helped me ton. because of that i made friends outside of class isn’t that wild? too bad it’s on the other campus bc i would go more often. i think my schedule might not work with vsa next semester idk :/ i went to my first College Party this year which was so much fun! i was nervous bc i only knew like three ppl but just mingle-ing is fun when ur buzzed. i think my tolerance is pretty high idk how many shots i took :| anyway hanging out with new friends i made makes me happy. definitely a highlight of this year! also school went better than before!!! my grades are not the best but i know i put in work so i think it’s okay. also i need to stop relying on chegg so much LMAO...commuting was harsh on me and took up SOOO much time. i only skipped class a couple times (mainly bc i was sick) so i’m proud. didn’t take classes on other campus this semester bc i’m lazy and would rather spend time studying in the library nearby. 

love life is sad still. chemistry is SO important. i think through text is just as important as irl. i went on a date with this guy that was a boring and unfunny texter and was like lemme give it a shot maybe its diff irl. it was alright but so....boring like no flirting like....    also he was younger and i hate younger guys...feeling like a hag... anyway this semester im hoping to go on a date with a girl instead. i thought i had a crush on oomf but it was like for a week. idk if it would ever happen but i rly like his personality and humor. 2020 pls let me have a lover im bored lemme emotionally depend on someone

stanning bts is getting so hard tbh. i can barely keep up with content from LAST YEAR. so much happens. i only go on ig like twice a day and i go to like ten ppl’s twt i dont even scroll down the tl bc it overwhelms me LOL. just looking at bts overwhelms me like i feel anxious sometimes? bc i’m missing out on stuff...idk how to explain it but i think the mama speech from 2018 made me...humble? less focused? on them? like i don’t wanna be so attached and when the day comes that they d*sband i lose my mind. bc i was so devastated that day. kinda made me chill out. being busy with school and work also made it hard to focus on them. guess i really am growing up..but also i became so obsessed with nct i love the nct daily channel LMAO feels like i’m cheating but their content is easy to digest and i don’t get so emotionally invested i guess. when i watch bts i sit there and FOCUS and give them my full attention. nct is for after hw and just to chill. do i make sense? but as i’m on break and watching bts performances and run episodes, i realize how much i missed watching them. i love them so much still and always will! sometimes it shocks me how huge they are. like you can’t compare them to anyone now. they are the highest achieving group i think. PERIODT fjlajajhka thinking back to when they were smaller and i told myself i would support them no matter what and i didn’t care if they didn’t get big like i genuinely loved them and now they are loved worldwide like....my babies.....<3 uwu...it’s crazy how much they’ve achieved in 6 years. i’m so happy for them.

also shinee’s whole discography is on spotify now! i was listening to it the other day and CRYING like a baby. i miss jjong so much especially his voice. i remember being 11/12 and spending hours watching the shows they were on i really miss stanning them. their music brings back so many feelings. ugh so good.

my mental health has been pretty good this year i didn’t cry much and the source of my stress and sadness is always school. fall semester was pretty good. i learned recently that i get jealous over ppl only a little though. it just passes by in thought but i don’t voice it to anyone bc it’s stupid LMAO. i don’t think the jealousy is that bad just minor.

2019 was a great year. i never really noticed the changes and growth i experienced but it was really apparent this year and i’m glad i am evolving :) my goal for this year is to get fit and be more comfortable in the gym, gain experience in my field through joining clubs, and be even more social (also be better at driving hehe) i’m very thankful for those around me and i hope to be closer to friends in 2020. looking forward to going to vn in the summer!

let’s have a great 2020 jen! ♡

#diary