#i guess i could have cut back on the songs i didn't really get but

[mortimerlatrice]

KinnPorsche Music in Context: Episode One

It needs to be said: I started thinking about how a few of the songs used as KinnPorsche background music had incredibly apt or punny titles months ago. It’s been sort of poking around in my head that it might be some light, surface level meta to collect!

Ho boy was I wrong. I don’t know what I expected because absolutely nothing in KinnPorsche is just surface level. In episode one, I have already found several hysterical jokes, commentary on the shifting power dynamics, water symbolism, and many more gems.

Here is the link to my episode one Spotify playlist. I know there are quite a few playlists out there, but even scouring three of them, I still found additional songs that were not cited or mentioned.

There are 37 (yes, you read that correctly, 37!) songs in episode one and that's in addition to a handful of reprisals, so the insanely long list is under the cut.

For other episodes (as I get to them), go here!

We start, of course, with our beloved theme song, เพียงไว้ใจ (or PhiangWaichai) by Slot Machine. There’s plenty of thoughts on this, I’m not digging into it.

Introducing Kinn – Quantum Sonata by FormantX.

Kinn and Big head into the Italian’s den – Our Final Mission by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen. This is the last time Big will join Kinn on a mission as his head bodyguard (I’m not crying, you’re crying.)

Introducing Don and the Italian gang – Waltz for Little Italy by Bireli Snow.

Introducing Porsch – Diggin' the Drama by The New Fools.

Kinn making accusations and  Porsche mixing drinks hoping to get lucky – Covert Affairs by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen.

After Kinn's iconic "I'm more like my mom," we are introduced to the song that makes the most appearances this episode: Concerto No. 2 in G Minor, L’estate (Summer) composed by Antonio Vivaldi. Now here’s where the KinnPorsche crew start to do what they do best: give us things to obsess over and over analyze.

The concerto has 3 movements and to be honest I’m not 100% sure that they pull from only one of them for the show. Remember when I said I wasn’t musically inclined? If anyone wants to chime in, please do.

Another fun thing about this Concerto? It is traditionally associated with or accompanied by a trio of sonnets (one for each movement). Oh, did I mention Vivaldi was Italian? Themes.

Anyway, the sonnets translated from Italian to English:

I. Allegro non molto– Under the heat of the burning summer sun, Languish man and flock; the pine is parched. The cuckoo finds its voice, and suddenly, The turtledove and goldfinch sing. A gentle breeze blows, But suddenly, the north wind appears. The shepherd weeps because, overhead, Lies the fierce storm, and his destiny. II. Adagio; Presto– His tired limbs are deprived of rest By his fear of lightning and fierce thunder, And by furious swarms of flies and hornets. III. Presto– Alas, how just are his fears, Thunder and lightening fill the Heavens, and the hail Slices the tops of the corn and other grain.

Source

Porsche and his fanclub at Hum Bar – Late Nights by Daxton.

When Yok calls Porsche over to the bar – Mysterious Madeline by Lucas Pittman.

As Kinn is driving over the bridge and they realize they're being followed (and when Porsche is making eyes at the woman across the bar) – Road of Fury by John Abbot.

Big and Kinn fleeing into the tunnels when Big is shot and Kinn is being chased down – They Are Coming by Hampus Naeselius.

There is a brief snippet here with a snare drum and a cymbal (I think?) when Porsche is cheekily asking Kinn for money and pissing in a bottle, but I couldn’t isolate it enough to find it. Any help would be appreciated!

Here, we’re introduced to the perfect fights song, Absolute Power by Hampus Naeselius, when Porsche beats down the street thugs and drives off with Kinn.

She Knocks by Lukas Amil plays when Porsche is being a brat and leaves Kinn at the gas station.

When Porsche comes home to Chay bandaging up Arthee – In Rain - Indigo Days. Can you say water symbolism?

The Joys And Sorrows of Life by Johannes Bornlöf gives a little hope when Porsche and Arthee are sitting and talking about finances and how much they could make off Kinn’s watch.

Porsche at the underground fighting ring has three songs in quick succession: Back to Where it Began by Rockin' For Decades,

Second Hand Slide by Lucas Pittman,

And Around the Bend by Pip Mondy as he turns the fights to his favor. [It is worth noting that they use a sort of stripped down version during most of it, but I couldn't find that version, so they may have done it themselves]

When Porsche comes home to Chay and Arthee celebrating making so much money off the watch we get Gentleman at Heart by Indigo Days. I think this one’s interesting because I’m actually not sure if it’s about Arthee or Porsche…

When Don finds his men tied up and (maybe dead?) – Let Me Introduce Myself by Rune Dale. This comes right after the scene where Korn chastises Kinn for his decision to enrage Don instead of “giving him gifts.” This is Kinn telling Don exactly how he plans to run things and how very different he is from his father. Kinn's mother must have been ruthless with a good sense of humor.

When Kinn asks Chan about finding Jom/Porsche, we're back to Vivaldi’s Concerto. Like the shepherd, Porsche's Destiny hangs over his head.

College Porsche and his stolen pastry get Moonshiner's Turn by Martin Landström.

Jom is approached to act as "a waiter who's actually the greatest boxer undercover,” our dear theater kid gets Concert Hall Hideout by Stationary Sign.

A moment later when Porsche realizes he's been caught? Cheese! by Alexandra Woodward. [This one is not on the Spotify playlist but I did find it on Epidemic Sound.]

When Porsche calls Chay, worried that Chay may be targeted or even taken by Kinn? Extraction by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen. Which is a truly horrible double entendre because the very next song is

Clogged Up by Jerry Lacey. I'm not even dignifying this scene with a response.

Kinn sweet talking Yok (with veiled threats) – Infiltrator by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen.

Porsche’s kidnapping – Honor the Brave by Hampus Naeselius. 

Kinn reading Porsche his own biography – Beryllium - Farrell Wooten. Beryllium is, according to a brief google search, a natural metal that is expensive, brittle, and dangerous to work with (toxic).

Porsche's fight theme – Absolute Power. Except who has the power this time?

Brief reprise of She Knocks as Kinn once again watches Porsche walk away from him (or throw himself off the boat in this case).

When Korn and Kinn discuss how to force Porsche, and moving into the next scene when Porsche finds Chay cleaning up after another break-in, and through to Porsche finding Thee being beaten up – The Stakeout by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen.

When the loan shark tells Porsche that Thee still owes despite Porsche believing they had paid things off, leading to Porsche forcefully kicking Thee out of his and Chay's life? Ghosting by Christopher Moe Ditlevsen.

When Porsche finally tells Thee to leave and after, when Porsche goes home alone to clean up his ruined house, we get one of my all time favorites – Bitter Heart - Instrumental Version by Memi. Although the soundtrack presumably uses the instrumental version, I would argue that the lyrics were taken into account when choosing it:

“Suddenly you look like a stranger A face I knew, but I must've forgotten … We know we could've done it better Fought for the little things that we wanted … Oh, I wish that you hadn't pulled the trigger Shot me down with my bitter heart My blood is getting thicker You shot me down, you shot me down With my bitter heart”

This is getting way too long, so I cut some of the lyrics but I strongly recommend checking out the original.

As Chay tells Porsche that their parents would be proud of him, there is a very brief reprisal of In Rain.

It then switches to No More Drama by Eric Feinberg as they hug and Porsche tucks Chay in. This calls back to the song that first accompanied Porsche, Diggin’ the Drama, and Porsche has made his decision. He can't keep living like this and he can't let Chay live like this either. 

Porsche's letter and Kinn pouring himself a drink – a reprisal of Gentleman at Heart.

During the famous "your life is mine" scene where, at least in the translation, Porsche asks if Kinn is a god, we get a third reprisal of the Concerto. Porsche's destiny is set, the storm has blown in and ruined his life leaving him desperate.

When Porsche confronts Korn and asks to be Big and Ken's boss and through to Korn Playing Chess – So to Say by Taylor Crane

At which point we get one, final reprise of the Concerto as Korn places the Queen on the board and the game begins.

Finally – Free Fall by Slot Machine.

And, in the interest of being thorough....

Episode Two Preview – Global Impact by Philip Ayers.

#fucking hell #that was way more than i expected #i tried to go back and reduce my commentary #but whatever #i worked really hard on this 🥲 #kprewatch2023 #kinnporsche meta #kinnporsche the series #music analysis #sort of #help i'm stuck in a rabbit hole #would also love feedback on whether i should maybe break these up in the future? this is so massive... #i guess i could have cut back on the songs i didn't really get but #the whole point was to be comprehensive and allow people to draw their own conclusions #so

[wifelinkmtg]

TUMBLR POST EDITOR WON'T LET ME TITLE THIS POST ANYMORE SO I GUESS THIS IS THE TITLE NOW. WEBBED SITE INNIT

So let's say you grew up in the nineties and that The Lion King was an important movie to you. Let's say that the character of Scar - snarling, ambitious, condescending, effeminate Scar - stirred feelings in you which you had no words for as a child. And then let's say, many years later, you're talking about it with a college friend, and you say something like, "oh man, I think Scar was some sort of gay awakening for me," and she fixes you with this level stare and says, "Scar was a fascist. What's the matter with you?"

The immediate feeling is not unlike missing a step: hang on, what's happening, what did I miss? You knew there were goose-stepping hyenas in "Be Prepared," but you didn't think it mattered that much. He's the bad guy, after all, and the movie's just pointing it out. Your friend says it's more than that: the visuals of the song are directly referencing the Nuremberg rallies. They're practically an homage to Riefenstahl. This was your sexual awakening? Is this why you're so into peaked caps and leather, then? Subliminal nazi kink, perhaps?

And then one of your other friends cuts in. "Hold up," he says, "let's think about what Scar actually did in the movie. He organized a group of racialized outcasts and led them against a predatory monarchy. Why are you so keen to defend their hereditary rule? Scar's the good guy here." The conversation immediately descends into a verbal slap fight about who the real bad guy is, whether Scar's regime was actually responsible for the ecological devastation of the Pride Lands, whether the hyenas actually count as "racialized" because James Earl Jones voiced Mufasa after all. Your Catholic friend starts saying some strange and frankly concerning shit about Natural Law. Someone brings The Lion King 2 into it. You leave the conversation feeling a little bit lost and a little bit anxious. What were we even talking about?

INTRODUCING: THE DITCH

There is a way of reading texts which I'm afraid is pervasive, which has as its most classical expression the smug obsession with trivia and minutiae you find in a certain vein of comic book fan. "Who was the first Green Lantern? What was his weakness? Do you even know the Green Lantern Oath?" It eschews the subjective in favor of definitively knowable fact. You can't argue with this guy that, say, Alan Scott shouldn't really count as the first Green Lantern because his whole deal is so radically different from the Hal Jordan/John Stewart/Guy Gardner Corps-era Lanterns, because this guy will simply say "but he's called Green Lantern. Says so right on the cover. Checkmate." This approach to reading a text is fundamentally 1) emotionally detached (there's a reason the joke goes, oh you like X band? name three of their songs - and not, which of their songs means the most to you? which of them came into your life at exactly the right moment to tell you exactly what you needed to hear just then?) and 2) defensive. It's a stance that is designed not to lose arguments. It says so right on the cover. Checkmate.

And then you get the guys who are like "well obviously Bruce Wayne could do far more as a billionaire to solve societal problems by using his tremendous wealth to address systemic issues instead of dressing up as a bat and punching mental patients in the head," and these guys have half a point but they're basically in the same ditch butting heads with the "well, actually" guys, and can we not simply extricate ourselves from the ditch entirely?

So, okay, let's return to our initial example. Scar is portrayed using Nazi iconography - the goose-stepping, the monumentality, the Nuremberg Lichtdom. He is also flamboyant and effete. He unifies and leads a group of downtrodden exiles to overthrow an absolute monarch. He's also a self-serving despot on whose rule Heaven Itself turns its back. You can't reconcile these things from within the ditch - or if you can, the attempt is likely to be ad-hoc supposition and duct tape.

Instead, let's ask ourselves what perspective The Lion King is coming from. What does it say is true about the world? What are its precepts, its axioms?

There is a natural hierarchical order to the world. This is just and righteous and the way of things, and attempts to overthrow this order will be punished severely by the world itself.

Fascism is what happens when evil men attempt to usurp this natural order with the aid of a group or groups of people who refuse to accept their place in the order.

There exists an alternative to defending and adhering to one's place in the natural order - it consists only of selfish spineless apathy.

Manliness is an essential quality of a just ruler. Unmanliness renders a person unfit for rule, and often resentful and dangerous as well.

And isn't that interesting, laid out like that? It renders the entire argument about the movie irrelevant (except for whatever your Catholic friend was on about, since his understanding of the world seems to line up with the above precepts weirdly well.) It's meaningless to argue about whether Scar was a secret hero or a fascist, when the movie doesn't understand fascism and has a damn-near alien view of what good and evil are.

There's always gonna be someone who, having read this far, wants to reply, "so, what? The Lion King is a bad movie and the people who made it were homophobes and also American monarchists, somehow? And anyone who likes it is also some sort of gay-bashing crypto-authoritarian?" To which I have to reply, man, c'mon, get out of the ditch. You're no good to anyone in there. Take my hand. I'm going to pull on three. One... two...

SO PHYREXIA [PAUSE FOR APPLAUSE, GROANS]

We're talking about everyone's favorite ichor-drooling surgery monsters again because there was a bit in my ~*~seminal~*~ essay Transformation, Horror, Eros, Phyrexia which seemed to give a number of readers quite a bit of trouble: namely, the idea that while Phyrexia is textually fascist, their aesthetic is incompatible with real-world fascism, and further, that this aesthetic incompatibility in some way outweighs the ways in which they act like a fascist nation in terms of how we think of them. I'll take responsibility here: I don't think that point is at all clear or well-argued in that essay. What I was trying to articulate was that the text of Magic: the Gathering very much wants Phyrexia to be supremely evil and dangerous fascists, because that makes for effective antagonists, but in the process of constructing that, it's accidentally encoded a whole bunch of fascinating presuppositions that end up working at cross-purposes with its apparent aim. That's... not that much clearer, is it? Hmm. Why don't I just show you what I mean?

Atraxa, Grand Unifier (art by Marta Nael)

In "Beneath Eyes Unblinking," one of the March of the Machine stories by K. Arsenault Rivera, there's a fascinating and I think revealing passage in which Atraxa (big-deal Phyrexianized angel and Elesh Norn's lieutenant) has a run-in with an art museum in New Capenna. The first thing I want to talk about is that, in this passage, Atraxa has no understanding of the concept of "beauty". A great deal of space in such a rushed storyline is devoted to her trying to puzzle out what beauty means and interrogating the minds of her recently-compleated Capennan aesthetes to try and understand it. In the end, she is unable to conceive of beauty except as "wrongness," as anathema.

So my first question is, why doesn't Atraxa have any idea of beauty? This is nonsense, right? We could point to a previous story, "A Garden of Flesh," by Lora Gray, in which Elesh Norn explicitly thinks in terms of beauty, but that's a little bit ditchbound, isn't it? The better argument is to simply look at Phyrexian bodies, at the Phyrexian landscape, all of which looks the way it does on purpose, all of which has been shaped in accordance with the very real aesthetic preferences of Phyrexians. How you could look at the Fair Basilica and not understand that Phyrexians most definitely have an idea of beauty, even if you personally disagree with it, is baffling. This is a lot like the canonical assertion that Phyrexians lack souls, which is both contradicted elsewhere in canon and essentially meaningless, given Magic's unwillingness or inability to articulate what a soul is in its setting, and as with this, it seems the goal is simply to dehumanize Phyrexians, to render them alien, even at the cost of incoherence or internal contradiction.

Atraxa's progress through the museum is fascinating. It evokes the 1937 Nazi exhibit on "degenerate art" in Munich, but not at all cleanly. The first exhibit, which is of representational art, she angrily destroys for being too individualistic (a point of dissonance with the European fascist movements of the 20th century, which formed in direct antagonism to communism.) The second exhibit, filled with abstract paintings and sculptures, she destroys even more angrily for having no conceivable use (this is much more in line with the Nazi idea of "degenerate art", so well done there.) The third exhibit is filled with war trophies and reconstructions from a failed Phyrexian invasion of Capenna many years prior, which she is angriest of all with (and fair enough, I suppose.) But then, after she's done completely trashing the place, she spots a number of angel statues on the cathedral across the plaza, and she goes apeshit. In a fugue of white-hot rage, she pulverizes the angel heads, and here is where I have to ask my second question:

Why angels? If you are trying to invoke fascist attitudes toward art, big statues of angels are precisely the wrong thing for your fascist analogues to hate. Fascists love monumental, heroic representations of superhuman perfection. It's practically their whole aesthetic deal. I understand that we're foreshadowing the imminent defeat of Phyrexia at the hands of legions of angels and a multiversal proliferation of angel juice, but that just leads to the exact same question: why angels? To the best of my knowledge, the Phyrexian weakness to New Capennan angel juice is something invented for this storyline. They have, after all, been happily compleating angels since 1997. We could talk about the in-universe justification for why Halo specifically is so potent, but I don't remember what that justification is, and also don't care. Let's not jump back in the ditch, please. The point is, someone decided that this time, Phyrexia would be defeated by an angelic host, and what does that mean? What is the text trying to say? What are its precepts and axioms?

Let me ask you a question: how many physically disabled angels are there in Magic: the Gathering? How about transsexual angels? How many angels are there, on all of the cards that have ever been printed for Magic: the Gathering, that are even just a bit ugly? Do you get it yet? Or do you need me to spell it out for you?

SPELLING IT OUT FOR YOU

There is a kind of body which is bad. It is bad because it has been significantly altered from its natural state, and it is bad because it is repellent to our aesthetic sensibilities.

The bad kind of body is contagious. It spreads through contact. Sometimes people we love are infected, and then they become the bad kind of body too.

There is a kind of body which is good. It is good because it is pleasing to our aesthetic sensibilities, and it is good because it is unaltered from its (super)natural state.

A happy ending is when all the good bodies destroy or drive into hiding all of the bad bodies. A happy ending is when the bad bodies of the people we love are forcibly returned to being the good kind of body.

Do you get it now?

ENDNOTES

It's worth noting that the ditch is very similar to the white American Evangelical hermeneutics of "the Bible says it. I believe it. That settles it," the defensive chapter-and-verse-or-it-didn't-happen approach to reading a text, what Fred Clark of slacktivist calls "concordance-ism". I don't think that's accidental. We stand underneath centuries of people reading the Bible very poorly - how could that not affect how we read things today? We are participants in history whether we like it or not.

I sincerely hope I haven't come across as condescending in this essay. Close reading is legitimately difficult! They teach college courses on this stuff! And while it is frustrating to have my close readings interrogated by people who... aren't doing that, like. I do get it. I find myself back in the ditch all the time. This stuff is hard. It is also, sorry, crucial if you intend to say something about a text that's worth saying.

I also hope I've communicated clearly here. Magic story is sufficiently incoherent that trying to develop a thesis about it often feels like trying to nail jello to the wall. If anyone has questions, please ask them! And thank you for reading. Next time, we'll probably do the new Eldraine set.

#phyrexia #not defining the ditch except by implication #thanks to all the very smart vorthoi on the flavor text discord server for helping me work through my thoughts on fascism and phyrexia #this is technically the march of the machine review also #or as much of one as i care to do

[silencesscreams]

"is there any chance i can fix this?" where james and reader are best friends since birth but he begins to pull away and spend less time with her in favor of the boys, so she just cuts him out of her life and after a while he doesn't know how to deal with it anymore. hiiiii

sad beautiful tragic

james potter x fem reader (angst)

a/n: sorry about any grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language (also i’m pretty bad at writing angst but i tried my best) also immediately thought of the title because of the taylor swift song, so hope you don’t mind the association. also the first kiss part came to my mind because of a tiktok i saw a few weeks ago but i don’t really remember who’s it was to credit them

warnings: friendship distancing, kissing, fighting, cursing, a bit short (sorry), happy ending

“i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry, honey, please. is there any chance i can fix this? just tell me, please”

you knew james potter and he knew you. knowing meaning comprehending each other, meaning that you stood by each others side for as long as you can remember.

he was your first friend. he was your neighbor and you both grew up together, it was expected that you both would know each other better than anyone.

sure, it felt different when you both started hogwarts and suddenly he had new friends, but so did you. you spent the time you could together, always saving a bit of your days for each other.

during the sixth to seventh year summer vacation, he had spent the whole summer with you, you both would hang out all the time.

until he kissed you.

it was the last day of summer and you both had spent the evening in his room. you were talking about a book you had been reading recently and he listened quietly, like it was the most interesting thing he had ever heard of. until you paused for a brief moment and he moved closer to you. you were sat on the floor with him, the carpet tickling your legs as you played with the fluffy yarn under you.

“honey” he said, you looked at him, doe eyed waiting for him to continue. “a phrase. two words, six letters, two vowels. guess.” he said lowly whilst looking at your lips. your mind went blank.

one vowel for each word. you still didn’t get it.

“what are the vowels?” you whisper back, he smiles.

“i and e” he answers, not taking his eyes from off of you for a second. you knew.

“kiss me?” and so he did. his lips met yours abruptly, his hands grabbed your hips and yours went straight to the back of his neck. it completely changed the way you ever saw him, hell, it completely changed your expectations to a kiss. it was better than anything you’d ever experienced and you loved it.

when you got back to school, it seemed like he didn’t do that, actually, it seemed like he didn’t even talk to you the whole summer.

sure, he did casually say hello in the halls and you might’ve shared one or two conversations, but what the hell? he kisses you like that and expects you to just forget about it? that was the most fucked up thing anyone could’ve done. as the semester went on, your mind was absolutely torturing you over that kiss.

it made you overthink every single thing you ever did around him. but maybe he didn't have time, maybe he was really busy with his studies and quidditch, right? that was probably it.

he saw you every once in a while, said an awkward hi or whatever that thing signaling head thing he did was.

the crush you had developed for him didn’t help at all. it made you crave his presence in your life, even now that you hated him more than you ever thought you possibly could. you missed his pet names for you, ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’ sounded so amazing coming out of his mouth.

but from the moment he started to ignore you, you decided he was absolutely done. he was never going to see a smile coming from you ever again, he was never going to get another hello, nothing. james potter didn’t deserve a single thing from you.

your friends agreed. they thought he was a piece of shit and said you should’ve cut him off a long time before.

life went on without him, you barely thought about him. your studies were going well, everything was great.

christmas break came up and when you saw james at the train station, you were pissed. you knew he was going to be there for christmas dinner, he was always invited alongside with his family. you didn’t know how he was going to act then, was he going to pretend it never happened?

when you got home, your mother instantly started asking you what you wanted for dinner and you were glad to be home, you just hated that he was in the house next to yours.

a few nights after you both got home, you were invited for a date by steven, who worked at a bookstore near the city park. you said yes, he took you to see a shitty movie and tried to kiss you after dropping you off at your front porch. you dodged it and gave him a good night kiss on the cheek. james saw it all.

once the date left, you heard him yelling from his porch:

“who’s that?” you ignored him and went inside, sure, you weren’t going to see steven again but james didn’t deserve to know that.

on christmas day you went to the potter’s for dinner, your parents insisted for you to go, even though you tried to fake being sick. sirius was there too, you politely greeted all of them them and didn’t bother to answer james’ “hey”.

when you sad at the side of the living room table james sat next to you, even though that wasn’t his usual seat. you played with your dress awkwardly and ate less, being there was making you so irritated you lost your appetite.

after taking a bite from your desert, you thanked euphemia for the food and told your parents you were feeling a bit sick and that you were heading home, telling them to enjoy the rest of their night.

as you were opening the door to head out, you heard footsteps behind you. you knew james was there and you had no interest to talk with him.

“don’t” you simply stated, stepping out and shutting the door lightly on him, he followed you during the small walk between both your houses.

“hey!” he shouted, trying to get your attention. you were about to shut the door to your house on his face, but he held it with his foot, going into your house.

he pulled you by your wrist but you tugged it away from him.

“don’t touch me!” you shouted at him, staring into his eyes for the first time that night.

“now you can talk to me, huh? ‘the fucks up with you?!” he shouts back, brows furrowed. you couldn’t believe him, what a fucking nerve he had.

“whats up with YOU?!” you step closer to him, throwing your keys on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. “you’ve ignored me for the whole semester and now you wanna talk?” he had never seen you like this. you had never been this angry at anyone or anything around him.

“i’m sorry?” he had no reaction, he knew he was wrong, he just couldn’t deal with it. with anything. he didn’t know what to do after he kissed you, he couldn’t handle any of it. he knew that if he spent more time around you he would fall harder, he couldn’t risk it.

“i’m sorry! now that you don’t have anyone else near for you to talk to i’m worthy of your attention? i’m so lucky, right?!” your eyes started to tear up, but you held it in, he was not getting to see you cry.

“honey, i’m sorry i didn’t talk much with you these past few months, but i tried to speak with you tonight and you didn’t even bother to answer me!” he ran his hand through his hair, looking at you as you sat down on the couch, staring at your hands.

“you didnt even look at me. the entire fucking night. one lousy ‘hey’ is not trying to do anything” he handed you a piece of paper, it was crumpled up in his jeans’ pocket. you knew he was bad with words, but the paper was written front and back. what was he even trying to do? did he think a letter was enough to fix the damage he had done?

“really? you’re a little too late for this, don’t you think?” you said, looking at him angrily.

“fine, don’t read it then. just keep it, okay?” he knew you were about to cry. it was the worst feeling he had ever felt.

“you don’t get to do this to me, james” you hold back tears once you say it.

“i know, honey, i know” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your face as you try to not melt because of his touch. he kisses you, but this time you pull away.

“no. don’t do this to me” you say, a single tear streaming down your face, he wipes it off but more tears just keep coming

“im sorry, im so sorry for everything i did and-“ you interrupt him.

“could you just try to listen?!” you shout, pulling away from his touch again. “what makes you think that i want this? after all you did, better, all that you didn’t do?! you kiss me and expect me to forget about it? expect me to be okay with you ignoring me all the time just because you kissed me again? i can’t be okay with any of this unless you actually explain to me what happened. i really try to understand you, but all of this doesn’t help!”

“i love you” he says “i have loved you all my life and i didn’t know, after i kissed you it all hit me and i couldn’t trust myself around you anymore, i didn’t want to hurt you so i pulled away, i just didn’t know it would hurt you more like that. i’m sorry, but im here now and i want to show you how much I do love you” he pauses and sits next to you on the couch.

“i’m sorry, okay? i’m so sorry, honey, please. is there any chance i can fix this? just tell me, please” he wipes the tears from off your face again. you knew he meant it, you just didn’t know how to trust him again.

“i don’t know” you whisper, looking into his eyes, you had never seen him look this sad. you wanted to trust him, you really did, but how could you? how could you know he wasn’t going to pull something like that again?

you couldn’t be sure of anything, you could only hope for the best and be careful. so you gave it a shot.

“come here” you say lowly, pulling him in for a hug. he buried his face in the crook of your neck and gave you small kisses.

“i’m so sorry, baby” he whispered.

“i know” you whisper back, he looks at you and gives you quick kisses all over your face. you can’t help but smile.

it was going to take a while for you to trust him again, but you knew you could.

#james potter x reader #james potter fic #james potter #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter angst #james potter oneshot #james potter imagine #james potter fanfiction #mrsaluado #lila writes #silencesscreams

[luveline]

Okay, I would love to see an Aaron Hotchner x anemic bombshell!reader (lmao) who gets randomly faint and Aaron freaks <3

“This is oh so difficult,” you say under your breath, a sing-song tone to your voice. You often talk in juxtapositions, unhappy words in silk, cheerful worrying. “This is… stressful.” 

“You don't look stressed,” Spencer says. 

You elbow at him affectionately. “Do I ever? Sweetheart, there's nothing ever so stressful as to wear it on your face. Now come here, you have a pen smudge on your cheek.” 

Hotch could pinch the back of your shirt to stop you, but Spencer holds out a hand to brace you away from him like a disgruntled younger sibling while you laugh and reach for him. 

“Cut it out,” Gideon says. 

“Yes, boss.” 

Hotch turns away from you both to hide his smile. The case is long (as always), difficult (as always), and getting more and more serious as days pass. There hasn't been much time to pause and take stock, and so your playfulness comes at a great time —you need moments of fun like this to stop the weight of the inevitable dragging you down hard.

Your playfulness is unfailing. “So,” you say, quieter now to avoid Gideon’s attention while you lean into Hotch's personal bubble, “what will you make me for dinner?” 

“The same thing I've made you for the last four days.” 

“Ah. Nothing, then.” You tip your head to one side. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. Just feeling kinda weird. I really am hungry, handsome, and you aren't very gentlemanly in letting me starve.” You share a smile. You say everything so particularly, it only serves to endear you to him more and more. It's like… you're just sure of yourself, and in love with the world, and at least a little in love with him. Having you here with him makes the job easier. 

“You're hungry?” he asks, standing up. He expects no answer, nor for you to stand, but you clamber onto your feet quick as anything with wide eyes. 

“I was only–” You pause. 

Hotch can see the moment you lose sight of where you are, that far away gloss to your eyes, the rapid blinking that follows, and your hand thrown out to his too quickly. You grab at his arm roughly and he's crueller in his reaction, grabbing you under the arms with a startled, “Hey.” 

“Is she alright?” Spencer asks, his chair smacking the desk as he stands. 

Your lips pull down into a frown, eyes squeezed closed. He's startled —Hotch didn't even know you could frown outside of a joke. You're feeling that heavy, sudden wrongness that comes with being faint, he'd guess. 

He rides it out with you, holding you tight. After a few moments your eyes peel open, a spark of upset about you that quickly lends to sheepishness. “Oh, sorry,” you say softly. 

“Don't be.” 

You gather your bearings. Hotch moves his hands to a more amicable place on your arms, more to comfort than to hold, while Spencer stands and offers you his bottle of water. 

“She good?” Gideon asks Hotch. 

That perks you up. “I'm always good, sir,” you say, sending a smile at your boss from over your shoulder. “Just flirting with Agent Hotchner.” 

“Did you take your medication?” Hotch asks, cutting the fat of the conversation clean off. 

“Yeah, I never miss it.” 

He is admittedly more concerned about you than one coworker would be for another after a dizzy spell, but you aren't just a coworker. Hotch cups your cheek quickly in his hand to gauge your temperature and deduces from there that it isn't a sickness. 

“You weren't exaggerating about being starved,” he decides. Your iron pills do so much, and you have to do the rest. “Reid, what foods help with anaemia?” 

“Anything rich in iron. Red meat, pork, poultry, dark greens, especially spinach. All kinds of beans,” Spencer reels off. 

“Any of that sounds good to you?” Hotch asks, giving your arm a gentle squeeze. 

You meet his lowbrow with softer eyes, nodding your appreciation. Your lips part to answer him, but you're cut off. “Be quick about it,” Gideon says, glasses slipping down his nose as he turns back to his case file, “we have a lot to do.” 

Hotch buys you a burrito for the iron and a smoothie because you deserve it. You kiss his cheek, and apparently he deserves that for being ‘such a sweetheart’. He doesn't bother pretending he doesn't want it, or the second or third kiss that comes after.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner drabble #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #hotch x reader #hotch #hotch x you #hotch blurb #hotch drabble

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

The first time Steve touches the guitar Eddie makes a strangled sound in his throat. Steve freezes, looks at Eddie, his mouth is hanging open, and he's frowning. Steve sets the guitar back down, so fucking gently.

"Sorry. I just- sorry." He nearly whispers, stands back up, back straight, his palms moving over his thighs. Eddie clears his throat, shakes his head, removes his black guitar from his lap as he stands.

"No it's okay. I didn't mean to like... make that weird fucking sound. Just um... it was my moms." He says, his hand wrapped around the neck of the black guitar as he holds it at his side. Steve's eyes go wide.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I wouldn've-"

"It's okay really. Here. You can use this one." He holds the guitar out. Smiles when Steve steps closer, hesitant as he raises his hand. Eddie nods. Steve takes it, climbs onto Eddie's bed awkwardly and sets it in his lap. Watching as Eddie gently picks up his mothers guitar and sits back down.

Eddie smiles at Steve, strums a few notes.

"Do you play?" He asks, because Steve's never said anything about playing. Never touched one of Eddie's guitars before. But Eddie had noticed him watching, as Eddie plays, or writes songs, while they hang out.

Steve's at his house a lot these days. Eddie feels like they might be dancing around something. But he hasn't been brave enough to make a move. Or even ask a question. They just... spend time together. He's been teaching Steve about DND for Dustin’s upcoming birthday. Steve wants to surprise him. And he'd been letting Steve read his copies of Lord of the Rings. It's been taking him a while.

But he lays on Eddie's bed while he reads, feet kicked out in the air above him when he lays on his stomach, as Eddie plans his campaigns, or writes songs, and tries not to think about how Steve looks like he belongs there, in Eddie's bed, frowning down at Eddie's tattered books until he looks up and asks Eddie to explain something for him.

And Eddie does. Always.

But this is new. Steve holds Eddie's guitar in his lap, a soft smile on his face, his fingers holding the neck gently. He shakes his head at Eddie's question, just the smallest movement.

"Naw. I always wanted to learn. But my dad always said-" he cuts off, his eyes jumping to Eddie, his cheeks flushing a little. Eddie's never met Steve's father, but he's sure he could guess some of the things he'd said. Steve shakes his head again, tries to smile.

"I just never got around to it. And then things went to shit around here so..." he shrugs, moves his thumb over the strings. Eddie smiles at the sound.

"I like how it feels. Holding it though." Steve says, blinks up at Eddie. Eddie wills his mouth to work, to say something, to say fucking anything, but it doesn't. He just smiles, softly, and nods. Steve looks away, back down at the guitar, and Eddie does the same. Fingers moving over his mother's guitar as he tries to work out the next verse he's writing.

~°~

Two months later he still hasn't said anything. But they have a rhythm now. Eddie's at home, doing whatever it is he's doing that day. Planning, or drawing, or writing. Maybe even just watching tv. Steve shows up, goes to his room, gets the black guitar, and sits with it in his lap, some days until he leaves. And Eddie sits, and watches him, and tries to will himself to say something.

It's a friday. It's raining. And Steve gets off work early, comes to Eddie's. Like always.

He takes a shower, changes clothes, and then crawls into Eddie's bed, guitar settled in his lap. Eddie looks up from his notebook, watches Steve's brow furrow as he moves his fingers over the strings. Just positioning them, not making any sound. Turns out that's all it takes, Steve's little frown.

"I could teach you." Eddie blurts, Steve startles, just a bit, a small flinch before his eyes move to Eddie, brows raised.

"Ya know if you- if you'd want... that." Eddie's lame attempt to backpeddle falling out of his mouth in fragments. But Steve smiles, big and bright.

"Yeah? You'd do that?" He asks, his hand flat against the guitar now, he's practically cradling it to his chest, holding it to himself like it's something special.

Eddie shrugs, tries to play it cool.

"I mean yeah. It's not a big deal. Just, guitar. Kinda my thing." He huffs a laugh when Steve's smile grows impossibly bigger.

"Can we start now? Or are you- you're busy. Planning stuff." Steve voice drifts to a soft dismissive tone, like he's talking himself down. And Eddie hates it. Hates that he's been conditioned to talk himself down from his own excitement. Eddie slaps his notebook shut with a purpose. The noise loud in the quiet room.

"We can absolutely start now. C'mhere." He moves from his desk to the edge of the bed, reaches for his moms guitar, stops, thinks better of it and just settles his hands on his thighs as Steve shuffles to the edge of the bed to sit next to him.

Eddie watches him look at him, waiting, and so fucking close. He can hear the rain on the roof outside.

"Where do we start?" Steve asks, his hands flexing as Eddie watches him.

"I'm gonna teach you some notes. See how well you pick it up." Eddie says, trying hard to keep the smile on his face to a minimum. Steve nods, serious.

"What if I suck at it?" Steve asks, his fingers fluttering nervously over the strings. Eddie looks at him, narrows his eyes.

"You've never played before? At all?" He asks, head tilting. Steve shakes his slowly, his cheeks tinting as he looks at his knees.

"Well then, and I hate to break this to you sweetheart, but you're probably gonna suck. At least a little. At first." Eddie scrunches his nose, delights in the way Steve's mouth drops open as he looks Eddie.

"You gonna be able to handle that? Not being perfect?" Eddie twitches his head to the side, bumps his shoulder into Steve's, Steve rolls his eyes, bumps Eddie back.

"I'll do my best." He huffs, his brow furrowing again as Eddie begins to guide him.

He plays something small, shows Steve how he moves his fingers, and then lets Steve mimic him. He picks it up pretty quick. His ears and cheeks flushing a pretty red when Eddie complements him, tells him he's doing good.

It takes Steve about three hours to realize Eddie had been teaching him a DIO song. He rolls his eyes again, shoves Eddie off the edge of the bed, but goes red again when Eddie says he's proud of him for recognizing it at all.

~°~

A week later, Steve comes rushing into his room, guitar in hand. Eddie had let him take the black acoustic home, so he could practice there as well. He stops short, his legs bumping into Eddie's bed, and then he looks, shy.

"Well good morning to you too Harrington." Eddie sighs, yawns, stretches his hands above his head and smirks as Steve's eyes trail over his stomach, his shirt riding up off his hips.

"Yeah. Morning." Steve says, his voice distant, eyes still focused on Eddie's mid section.

"What can I do you for?" Eddie asks, smirk planted firmly on his lips now. Steve's body jerks, just a fraction, as he tears his eyes away from Eddie's hips, to look at his face.

"What?" He asks, sounding startled. Eddie laughs, shakes his head.

"Forget it. What's up? You looked excited." Eddie says with a shake of his head, pushing himself up in bed a bit. Steve's eyes move to the ground, his fingers tighten on the neck of the guitar.

"I just- wanted to show you something. But you like... just woke up. Did I wake you up?" Steve asks, his voice going high like he's just realized he may have woken Eddie up. Eddie shakes his head, rubs at his eyes, holds back another yawn.

"Whaaaat? No. I've been up for ages." He smiles, watches Steve's face drop.

"Really?" His eyes narrowing as they move over Eddie, pajamas still wrinkled, hair a fucking mess he's sure.

"Yep. Been awake for hours. I mean I woke up at like- what time is it?" He looks at the watch on his wrist, his eyes bugging out.

"It's 7am!?" His voice is high, incredulous, he sounds... maybe a little disgusted. Steve clears his throat, his free hand going to his hip as he looks down at Eddie. Eddie clears his own throat, crossing his arms, schools his face.

"I mean... it's 7am. Which I knew. Because I've been awake since like... 5 o'clock. So 7am is the perfect time. For you to show up here. In my trailer." He glances to the small window in the door outside his room, his face falling a bit.

"Before the sun has risen, even. How... wonderful." His voice is flat by the time he finishes speaking, and he can see Steve trying not to laugh at him.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." He says, and he sounds so sincere Eddie can't even really be mad. He will be taking a nap later though, for sure. He yawns, waves his hand.

"It's fine babe. Just show me whatcha got." He wiggles his fingers at the guitar and Steve flushes, nods, and steps back, sits himself in Eddie's desk chair, and moves the guitar into his lap.

Eddie's heart flutters as Steve starts playing. It always does. Ever since that first day when Steve had picked up the DIO rif he'd shown him. It had been small, but he'd looked so proud of himself when his fingers had danced across the strings perfectly, bringing the tune to life.

Eddie smiles when he recognizes the song, some Billy Joel number Steve was always humming. Eddie had actually been playing peices of it here and there recently, sometimes, without paying attention. But it reminded him of Steve, and so his fingers tended to play it when his mind began to drift.

He smiles as he watches Steve play, his hair falling in his face a little, his brows knitted together in concentration. Eddie bites his lip and refuses to think about moving his fingers over those furrowed brows. Refuses to think about how Steve might let him. Refuses to think about how soft Steve's skin might feel underneath his calloused fingers.

Steve's own fingers pick that moment to stumble, he misses notes, trips up, flushes deeply and curses himself, his head hanging as he stops, takes a deep breathe.

Eddie was proud, he'd gotten better at dealing with messing up. But he could tell he was upset.

"Steve." He says name gently, too genlty, maybe, for this quiet morning in the dark. Steve huffs, but looks up at him.

"I always fuck that part up. It's too fast." He sighs, his voice harsh, he's being hard on himself. And Eddie doesn't know if it's the early morning hour, or the fact that it's still quite dark in his room, or maybe it's the fact that he hadn't slept much and now Steve was in his room. But he scoots back, just a bit, and pats the bed, swinging his legs over the edge.

And his chest flutters again when Steve doesn't even hesitate to come and sit beside him. Doesn't flinch away when Eddie presses close, moves his arm around Steve, curls his fingers over his on the guitar.

He does feel Steve's breathe catch when Eddie sighs across his neck, but he keeps the smirk off his face. Instead he strums the guitar, moves his fingers quickly, hitting the notes that Steve missed with ease. And he almost laughs when Steve turns, his shoulder pressing into Eddie's chest as he gapes at him.

"How did you- you know how to play this song?" Steve asks, his eyes wide. Eddie shrugs, his eyes dropping to Steve's lips, he's so close.

"Parts of it. You hum it a lot." Eddie says, almost whispers between them. Steve's face does some strange movement, jumping between a smile and frown and back again.

"Wait, have you never even heard the song?" Steve asks, his voice accusing.

"I dunno. Maybe like once. It was on in your car that time right?" Eddie shrugs again, looks away from Steve, his cheeks heating in the dark, with Steve so close. And Eddie is still sleep warm, and he swears Steve keeps leaning back into his chest.

"You're not even sure if you've heard the song and you can just play it like that!?" Steve asks, his voice a little louder now. But there's an amused edge to it that Eddie can't shake.

"Yeah. I'm-" he stops, swallows, his palms are starting to sweat so he moves his hands away from Steve's, hears him make a small sound in his throat, and finally, looks back at Steve's face. His features have softened, his eyes still sparkling with amusement, but there's something else there too.

"You can just play things by ear like that?" Steve asks, his voice soft, he's looking at Eddie, really looking at him in the low light of Eddie's room. And Eddie's arms are still wrapped half around him, he swallows, and nods.

"Guess so. Never been great at actually reading music. I don't focus well." He scrunches his nose.

"No. You?" Steve teases, and Eddie feels any lingering insecurities wash away. He shrugs.

"Yeah. I wasn't sure I could teach you actually. And I might have you all messed up. But you're good. Real good." He says it softly, and feels, without a doubt, Steve lean back, pressing his back into Eddie's chest.

"I think you're a good teacher. Maybe a little impatient sometimes." Steve elbows him gently. Eddie flushes, his hand moving to Steve's shoulder.

"Shit was I? I was trying really hard not to be." He frowns, and then Steve is turning, letting the guitar slip slowly to the floor. Eddie gulps, Steve's face is so close, and he's so warm pressed against him. And Eddie might have a real issue here soon if Steve doesn't move out his space.

"No it wasn't bad. I- I kinda like you impatient. You get bossy." Steve laughs, a small, giddy sounding thing, light in his throat. Eddie feels like he might vibrate out of his skin. Steve's hands move to his shirt, resting against his chest.

"You uh- you like when I'm bossy?" Eddie asks, his voice shaking, his hands trembling at his sides, he's moved them away from Steve. Doesn't want him to feel him shaking. Steve nods, once.

"Kinda yeah. Is that bad?" Steve asks, his eyes squinting, nose scrunching. And he sounds like he might be genuinely asking, like Eddie has any fucking clue.

"I don't think so. I'm sure it's fine. I-" Eddie stammers, is about to keep talking, not sure what's gonna come out of his mouth if he does. But Steve beats him to it.

"Why did you offer to teach me to play?" Steve asks, his thumbs move over Eddie's chest gently. Eddie feels his entire body flushing. He doesn't wanna talk about this. Not with Steve. He doesn't wanna scare him away. But Steve is looking at him, soothing his fingers into Eddie's shirt like he knows Eddie feels like he might float away. Like he's trying to ground him. Eddie licks his lips, sinks his teeth into his bottom one, and frowns.

"You can say it. It's okay." Steve assures him, a soft whisper between them.

"I thought you wanted to learn." Eddie says, his voice weak, unsure. Steve nods, slowly, one hand moving up, his fingers gently moving over the hot skin of Eddie's neck. Eddie makes a small wounded sound in his throat, and he swears Steve's eyes darken.

"That all?" Steve asks, his thumb pressing into the rapid heartbeat in Eddie's throat. Eddie shakes his head.

"I wanted to be close to you. But I didn't think that you'd want that... like that. With me. So-" he cuts off, swallows again, his breathe catching in throat. Steve softens in front of him, melts impossibly closer.

"So you offered to teach me to play. And then you curled yourself around me. Touched me. Moved me around like clay in your hands." Steve whispers, pressing closer, and Eddie can't breathe. And he feels guilty, all of a sudden. It burns in his throat, choking him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have done that." He stammers, and he tries to pull away from Steve, weakly. But Steve is stronger, holds him in place, and moves closer, his lips pressing to Eddie's ear.

"Don't be sorry. I liked it. Liked the way you moved me, and touched me, and taught my hands how to move and make music. I liked you pressed against me Eddie." He moved back, smiling at the whine that escaped Eddie's throat.

"I like you. Is- is that okay?" Steve looks shy, somehow, as he says this. After he's set every nerve ending in Eddie's body alight. Eddie nods. His body trembling now.

"Can I kiss you?" Steve breathes between, his hands moving to Eddie's cheeks now, holding him gently, the way he always holds Eddie's guitar.

"Yeah." Eddie nods. Steve smiles. And then a jolt of fear runs through Eddie, his hands land on Steve's chest, harder than he means too, holding him back.

Steve's brow furrows.

"What is it?" He asks, and Eddie almost laughs in his face, he sounds so concerned. But Eddie clears his throat, his eyes falling to his lap.

"I don't know how." He says, his voice so quiet he's not sure Steve will hear him. But it's early morning, and his room is quiet as the sun rises, filling the room with a warm glow, and of course Steve hears him, Steve always hears him. His hands moves under Eddie's chin, lifts head til he's looking at him. And Eddie watches Steve watch him, watches the sweet crooked smile that tilts Steve lips, his breath hitching in his chest as Steve moves his thumb over Eddie's bottom lip.

"I could teach you." Steve says, echoing Eddie's offer from all those weeks ago, and Eddie feels weak. His body shaking as he nods, his mouth frozen. Steve pulls him closer, his hand moving down Eddie's neck again.

"What if I suck at it?" Eddie asks, a wobbly smile fluttering across his face as he echoes Steve, and opens the door for Steve to tell him he will. That he will suck at it, at first, like Eddie had told him. But Steve's eyes darken again, his tongue running along his bottom lip as he stares at Eddie's mouth. Eddie feels trapped, in the best possible way, trapped under Steve's gaze. Steve's head moves slowly, side to side, his eyes still locked on Eddie's lips, Eddie feels Steve's fingers curl into his shirt near his ribs as he pulls him a fraction closer.

"With a mouth like that? I don't think that's possible." He breathes, and Eddie nearly fucking swoons, his hands fisting in Steve's shirt on his chest. Steve smirks at him them, moves the hand near his ribs around Eddie's back, holds him tight.

"I bet you're a natural. And if you're not," Steve presses his lips to Eddie's nose, pulls back.

"I'm willing to teach you. You'll be perfect when I'm done with you." Steve whispers, like it's a secret. It makes Eddie shiver.

"I might be a slow learner?" Eddie asks, his voice shaking but he's teasing now, and Steve smirks again, his fingers curling up into Eddie's hair and pulling, tilting his head to the side.

"God I fucking hope so." Steve almost growls the words against Eddie's lips and then he's kissing him. And despite the growl, and the low dip of his voice, the kiss is sweet. And slow.

Steve moves his lips genlty, let's Eddie get a feel for it. And, to Eddie's relief, doesn't deepen the kiss. His body is so overwhelmed already, he's sure Steve's tongue in his mouth would just send him into a meltdown.

But Steve doesn't press. He just kisses Eddie. Slow. Moves his lips over Eddie's, hums into the kiss when Eddie moves his hand into Steve's hair, hesitant, his hand shaking. Steve's arm around him pulls him closer, until he's tugged Eddie into his lap.

Eddie whimpers as Steve holds him, does his best to kiss Steve back, moves his lips the way he feels Steve's moving against his. Steve pulls back first, his hands moving up Eddie’s back. Eddie frowns down at him.

"Was that okay?" He asks, his fingers drumming nervously against Steve's shoulders. Steve smiles up at him, kisses him again, and Eddie's not sure he'll ever be over that warm press of soft skin.

"It was perfect." Steve says, tucks a lock of Eddie's sleep disheveled hair behind his ear.

"You're good at that." Eddie says, his body shaking against Steve. Steve smiles, and then moves, quick, he flips them over, landing on top of Eddie, hovering over him, his hands planted near his head. Steve leans down, presses close.

"Thank you. So are you." He moves his fingers over Eddie's cheek, fingertips tracing the jagged scar there. Eddie's brow twitches, he tries not to frown. Steve dips, presses his lips to the scar.

"Wanna make a deal?" He asks, lifting back up to look at Eddie.

"Sure. What deal?" Eddie agrees, before he even knows what it is. Steve smiles.

"I'll keep kissing you later. If you-" he stops, looks unsure as he looks down at Eddie. So Eddie reaches up, cups Steve cheek, because he can now.

"If I what?" Eddie whispers.

"If you hold me while we go back to sleep." Steve sounds shy, after everything that just happened.

Eddie smiles up at him, moves his fingertips over Steve's lips now.

"I'll hold you whenever you want. Just don't ever stop kissing me." Eddie says, tugging Steve down on top of him, Steve laughs against his lips and then sighs, deep, and happy, as Eddie wraps his arms around him.

Steve cuddles closer, presses his face into Eddie's chest and just breathes. Eddie listens to his breathing until they both drift off, the sun finally pulling itself over the horizon, Eddie and Steve's shared guitar temporarily forgotten, resting on the floor.

#fates Endless Inkwell #fei #steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve x eddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #my writing #mine #my fic #inexperienced eddie munson #virgin eddie munson

[n30nwrites]

Shake (Shifter! TF141 x Male! Reader)

Chapter 5

Good Doggy Masterlist

Warnings - Being Drunk, Lighting a fire, Glitter

Beta Reader: @letmelickyoureyeballs i appreciate you so much.

You walked Soap and Gaz  to his house, convinced that he would follow you into yours if you didn't. You were greeted by Ghost. He opened the door on your first step onto the porch. "Get in." He tells both Soap and Gaz. "Price needs to talk to you." He looks at Gaz specifically.

"Tell your Alpha to control his pack." You say, "I've been with Soap for 6 hours."

"Tell him yourself."

You nodded, still looking at his mask. You didn't like looking at his eyes, it made your body feel strange. Ghost could be considered attractive, build-wise. He was wearing a black tank top and sweatpants. He had a multitude of scars covering his body, and a large burn covering the left side. His chest was large, distractingly so.

“Why do you have glitter on you?” 

"...," You look down at your chest, it was a strange thing, to glow again. Or more like shimmer, but it did remind you of your old self, just a smidge. "Bye."

So why did you have glitter?

It was near the end of your shift, you had done your side work, cutting up the fruits needed and stocking everything. The club was slowing down, people still being here was a slight surprise, but you guessed it was just that type of town.

Sad drunks, desperate for something, an adventure.

Soap was still with you, which you were surprised about. You thought he would leave a few hours ago, but he just sat in the corner, staring at you.

It was creepy.

"Bartender, another Whiskey Sour!" She's pretty, she has stars drawn on her face along with small hearts, bold makeup, and a small dress. Body glitter everywhere, which made you recall when Maya thought to do that one night.

Since that night, glitter has been banned from your house.

"The bar has been closed down Ma'am." You tell her, making her water. She seemed out of it, enough for you to look around for someone, a friend that could've brought her here. "Drink this."

She drinks it quickly, like it's a shot almost. "Give me another." She coos, "tastes so good."

"Where are your friends?"

"They left." She moaned, "I love this song."

No music was playing.

"We're closing. It's time for you to get an Uber."

"I'll walk." She slurs her words, confident in herself as she chugs down another water. "You're much cuter than the other bartender."

You rub the bridge of your nose, adjusting the sunglasses you had on your face slightly. You felt sad for the pretty girl, her name could be Amanda or Mila.

Really you were just pulling these names out of your ass from actresses you can remember.

She stumbles a bit. Her purse slips off her shoulder and crashes to the floor. She doesn't even seem to register it, nor does she seem to be there herself. 

You clock out, and go around the counter. Soap seems to notice as he follows behind. You pick up the purse and she looks up, her eyes unfocused. You grab her wallet and find her license. "Alright Sierra, you seem to live around here so let's get you home.”

“You sure you’re not gonna kidnap me?” She leans on you, stumbling to the side and you grab her. All you can think about is that this glitter is going to stay forever.

“Not the plan.” Soap seems to glare at this girl, “Pull up the directions for her house.” You hand him the ID, watching as he gets on his phone reluctantly. 

“She’s 5 minutes fae 'ere” He says, tucking his phone back in his pocket before grabbing her purse and putting her ID in. “Are we taking your car or mine?”

“You’re joining me?” You ask, not surprised at the idea, just surprised he had the balls to ask. 

“Of course, gotta make sure you’re safe.”

“Protective doggy…” You tease slightly, “I was just gonna carry her, I don’t have a car.” Soap gives you a confused look, he could’ve sworn you were at the driver side of a Jeep when you first arrived, he didn’t fully understand it but he knew that if he had asked, you wouldn’t have given him the truth.

“Put her in the back.”

You realize you had to make a decision, and you were tired so that decision wasn’t the brightest one.

Which is probably why you were most comfortable standing naked outside in your backyard, with all your clothes in a barrel that was on fire. You were staring at it, the embers reminded you of home, but it wasn’t warm enough. The fire was inviting in a way, but if you kept staring you knew that your father would attempt to contact you, and you didn’t want to deal with that right now. So you turned away and grabbed the hose, turning on the cold water and rinsing yourself off, scrubbing with an unused cleaning sponge as your skin turned a darker shade from how hard you were scrubbing.

Anything to not bring glitter into the house.

Good thing the back door was unlocked.

—

You woke up at 1 p.m. still naked from the morning. You didn’t have an alarm clock, just trusted yourself to wake up before your shift. You shuffle out and grab some boxers from the floor, pulling them up and washing your face before brushing your teeth.

It was your breakfast time. 

Walking out of your bedroom, your dog greets you. He laid right outside your door, the only reason he wasn’t in your bedroom that night was because he was lying with Maya and you didn’t want to wake her up. 

He stood up immediately and you bent down to pet her, she smiled, which some have described as a murderous smile but that’s just cause shes all fangs. You stand back up and she follows after.

You can hear noises in the living room, voices that make you wary until you hear Maya’s. You trust she can handle herself. She was top of her class after all.

That is until you see who’s in your living room.

“Well, I could’ve put more clothes on.”

#ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #john price x reader #john soap mactavish #gaz x male reader #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick #simon ghost riley #simon riley x male reader #ghost x male reader #ghost #john mactavish x reader #captain john price #john price #john soap mactavish x you #johnny soap mactavish #soap x male reader #soap x reader #shifter tf141 #tf141 x male reader #tf141 x reader #tf141 #Good Doggy FF #taskforce 141 #poly tf141 #COD #COD x Reader #COD x male reader

[v0rewhxre]

Punished Part 2

The very highly anticipated part 2 to my punished blurb I wrote randomly last week! Thank you all so much for the support and love! I was not expecting this story to take off!

Also the first two paragraphs are from part 1 if they seem familiar!

18+ MDNI

CW: [f masturbation, m masturbation, slight throat grasping, p in v unprotected sex, restraint play, blindfolds, sensory play, oral f receiving, edging, pull out method, slightly dom Noah, slightly dom reader, slightly mean Noah, mentions of sex toys, mentions of squirting]

He waited a moment before moving his gaze to me. The expression on his face was cocky, there was no remorse in those eyes from the incident he just pulled. He simply grabbed a t-shirt and wiped himself off, getting up to go about his day.

Before he stepped outside the bedroom door, he turned and said, "If you touch yourself, I will do that again later. If you use your vibrator I will do that every day for the rest of the week, then you'll miss me," He said before walking away leaving me in practically a puddle of my own mess and tears.

*Later that day*

The soft hum of my vibrator was the only sound in our large airy bedroom. There was a slick sweat that coated my entire body. My hips were moving in rhythm, coming off the bed so I could get the most pressure on my clit. Noah had left the house for the afternoon to work on some fancy drum engineering stuff with Matt and Folio. This provided the perfect opportunity to finally get the release I needed.

The entire day sucked. Noah was extremely arrogant and moody all day. I knew this could only mean he was having a hard time with a new song. Although he had done a lot of work in therapy, these mood swings still came out. I didn't mind the mood swings occasionally, usually they led to really hot sex with Noah. Not today I guess...

The pleasure building throughout my pelvis started to become more intense at the thoughts of Noah throwing me around bed. I focused on this one particular time where Noah fucked me so hard I squirted all over him, making a huge mess. We ended up laughing about it for weeks afterwards. To this day I swear I actually peed, but he reassured me that was not the case.

Finally, my orgasm was right on the cusp. I continued the same swirl pattern on my clit allowing myself to go over the edge. I moaned so loudly; all the tension from earlier pouring out of me in waves of ecstasy. Fuck Noah and his stupid fucking rule, if I want to cum I will.

After my orgasm finished I set my vibrator back in the nightstand drawer, remade the bed, and took a quick shower. There would be no evidence for Noah to find.

When Noah came home, he was still a little off but seemed a lot happier. They must have cooked up something real good in the studio. I had no doubt Matt and Folio wrote some insane drum parts for the next album.

"What did you get up to today?" Noah asked quizzically, raising one eyebrow. It took all my energy to keep my cheeks from heating when he asked. I felt bad about lying but I could not deal with watching Noah get off once again without me.

"I just spent the day watching shows, and I did a bit of cleaning," I said casually. It wasn't a lie at all, I had cleaned the house and watched a few episodes of Attack On Titan.

"Interesting," Noah said slowly.

"Interesting indeed," I mimicked his tone.

With that Noah got off the couch and proceeded down the hallway towards our bedroom. I raced to follow his long strides, almost running into him as he stopped at my nightstand right inside the door.

"Are you sure you just cleaned and watched shows?" Noah asked as he opened the drawer to inspect the many toys I had.

"Yes I am sure," I said quietly.

"Try again... this time, don't lie," Noah said as he selected the very vibrator I had used earlier.

I had made one fatal error, I did not clean it off.

"Noah I..." but I was cut off by the a loud sniff. I watched as Noah ran his nose up the entire length of the vibrator, inhaling the now dried arousal I had produced earlier.

"You think I wouldn't recognize the smell of your pussy, y/n?" Noah said placing the vibrator down in the drawer. He turned slowly towards me, his height and muscular frame becoming menacing as the light faded away with the setting sun.

"What did I tell you earlier?" he said taking a step towards me, firmly grasping my throat with his hand. He wasn't cutting off my airway, he knew that was one thing that really scared me, but he knew his grasp could control anything I did.

"Noah, please. I can't watch you jerk off again. It drove me insane. Please, I'll do anything... please just please," I said stifling the sob that was coming up my throat.

"Tskk, y/n that wasn't part of the deal now was it love?" Noah said.

He kept one hand wrapped around my throat while he used the other to slowly pull down his pants. My eyes widened as I watched his cock spring free, already half hard just from the thought of me masturbating. A win is a win I suppose.

I looked up at Noah's eyes, they were pitch black in the dark room. He smirked at me as he leaned down and spit in his hand. My pussy almost flooded the entire room. The fucker knew how much I loved spit. His hand now started slowly moving up and down his cock, the only sound in the room was his saliva smacking as he rubbed.

His eyes rolled back slightly as he let his head hang, he seemed to have been waiting for another release all day. The mere thought he tortured me turned him on. God, I fucking hated him.

"Noah, I will literally get on my knees and beg right now. I cannot do this again," I said urgently as I noticed his pace quickened by the sound of his hand moving back and forth.

His hand let up slightly on my throat, I wasn't sure if it was from my pleads or because he was so turned on he was already falling apart. I used this opportunity to slip from his grasp, jumping into him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, legs around his waist.

Noah stumbled slightly backwards but maintained his balance as I literally attacked him. My mouth was on his before he could protest, our lips colliding with such force I was concerned I knocked a tooth out. I kissed him so deeply, forcing my tongue into his mouth to explore every inch. His tongue battled mine, trying to push mine away with no prevail. His arms snaked around me, resting just above my ass. I had him.

I ground my hips against his cock, the angle allowing me to rub my pussy up his length. I moved at an agonizing pace which earned a few frustrated huffs from Noah's mouth into mine.

Next thing I knew my back was against the bedroom wall, Noah now matching my hip thrusts with his own. His precum leaked all over my body, coating me in a sticky mess. Oh my god was I turned on.

I pulled away slightly, grabbing Noah's ear lob between my teeth. I whispered in a low sensual voice, "Fuck me like the naughty girl I am, Noah".

His cock slammed into me. Hard. I don't even know how it happened, I didn't remember him lining himself with my pussy.

The dark room now filled with the sounds of our skin slapping, us moaning, and my back pounding against the wall. He thrusted so hard I could barely even think, reaching the deepest part of my core.

I let my head fall back, smiling to myself as I knew I had won. Or had I?

Noah moved us to the bed, laying me in the mass of pillows that we had. We were often a little freaky in the bedroom. We had restraints already attached to the posts of our bed, awaiting to be used when Noah and I wanted.

Noah's cock left me while he moved to tie me to the bed. The Velcro cuffs were comfortable around my wrists and ankles. What I wasn't expecting was the sleep mask Noah placed around my head and over my eyes.

I couldn't move and I could not see, a dangerous game to play with a man who loved control.

My senses heightened as the anticipation did, I could feel the bed move but I had no idea where Noah was.

One finger. One finger trailed slowly from my ankle all the way up to my chin. He moved his finger as light as a feather, a trail of goosebumps following in its wake. My clit was practically screaming to be touched as another finger moved over my body, then three fingers fanned their way up. All purposely missing the one place I wanted to be touched. He didn't even give me a nipple touch.

One little kiss. One little soft kiss full of love was placed on my hip. Then another soft kiss on the other hip. One on my stomach. One on my right forearm, then the left. A soft kiss placed on my chin, forehead, right cheek, left. Then Noah softly brushed over my lips with his, a kiss that sent electricity throughout my body as it had the very first time he kissed me.

"I love you, Noah," I whispered out into the room, unsure where he was.

"I love you more," He replied as his finger lightly brushed over my pussy. He didn't apply enough pressure to breakthrough my folds, which was frustrating. My back arched slightly, seeking out his finger again. Instead I was met with hot breath, and one very wet tongue. Noah licked me this time, again he did so very lightly.

He pulled away, lifting one leg with him and placing it over his shoulder. He moved the other on his shoulder. Based on the position I was in, he must have been bent low on the bed or the restraints were let out enough to accommodate.

Teeth. I felt teeth next taking a small bite of my left inner thigh. It was only inches away from my pussy. He took another bite on my right inner thigh. Then he moved back to the other, inching slightly towards my center. Another, then another, then another, then... oh my god!!!

Noah took a small bite and pulled my clit with his teeth. It was hard enough to evoke shock throughout my entire body. It hurt, yet was quite satisfying. I felt my pussy clench around nothing, desperately wanting to be filled again by Noah's cock.

Noah released my clit, then brought his tongue back into the equation by spreading my folds open. His tongue was met with his lips, as he began licking and sucking my entire being. Now my hips began to move again, desperately seeking a release that I needed once again. Noah now moved lower, tongue fucking my pussy expertly by hooking it just inside. He pulled away only to spit on me, acting like his glorious meal was filth. Jesus, I couldn't take this any longer.

My moans began to get louder and louder, and so did the sounds coming from my pussy. The pleasure was now dimly burned in my lower belly, I could feel my toes begin to curl in the restraints.

"Noah, please.... I need to feel you inside... please," I whined desperately.

My legs were off his shoulders, my butt was back on the bed again.

Cock. I felt the head of his cock slowly moving up and down between my folds, doing slow circles around my clit before going back down. He slightly pressed in, just breaking through my entrance before moving back upwards. I moved my hips towards Noah's cock, moving against him to create more friction. He pulled away.

A few moments later he was back, moving slowly up and down again.

"Do you want it?" he cockily said as if he didn't already know the answer. I could hear his stupid smile from where my head rested. As if to prove his point, he put the entire tip in and thrusted only the tip which drove me insane. He pulled out asking again, by emphasizing every word he said, "Y/n, do... you... want.... it?"

"Do you want it?" I threw back, lifting my hips towards where I believed he was sitting. I giggled slightly, knowing I was being a brat and that I drove him crazy.

He chuckled back, "You really are such a naughty girl aren't you? Luckily you have such a pretty pussy".

His cock entered me again, but this time he went in all the way. I had no time to adjust to him before he was slamming into me once again. His arms were wrapped under my thighs, lifting me to the perfect angle. This time I knew he was just as needy as I was, his cock throbbed.

Noah grunted as he picked up the pace even more, his new workout regiment allowed him to have more stamina than ever. He was able to thrust harder and faster for longer. My moans once again filled the room in sync with his. I could hear the sound of our skin slapping against one another. He squeezed my thighs with his hands to keep from loosing grip, we both were coated in sweat now.

"Noah...." I warned, he knew I was close. My pussy was pulsing and throbbing, my orgasm was built up to the max.

"I know," he breathed back.

Suddenly, he was over me completely and his lips were grazing my ear. His moans filled my ears, sending me into a sensory overload as I plunged over. My orgasm came fast, I screamed out Noah's name which I knew probably hurt his ear. He road me through my orgasm for a few seconds before he pulled out. His cum sprayed all over my stomach and lower boobs. I felt each string as it landed on me. I had wished I could see it, but just feeling him release on me was enough. This was a punishment after all.

Once we both were done, Noah plopped on top of me creating even more of a mess for us to clean up.

"You do a great job at making rules and an even better job with your punishments," I laughed into the top of his head, rubbing it in that his punishment was indeed not sufficient for the crime.

"Yeah, yeah," he moaned into the crook of my neck.

I smiled to myself as Noah dozed off, until I realized he fell asleep on me and I couldn't move.

I suppose an impending uti was punishment indeed...

******************************************

I hope you all enjoyed! I little different than I intended to write it but this just came to me and I think it works :)

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian smut #nick folio #nicholas ruffilo #jolly karlsson #bad omens smut

[thatfreshi]

Little Stars and Such (Astarion x Reader)

It's here, the piercing fic, in which body-modded Tav gives Astarion hella piercings. I made a previous post with his piercing map in case you guys don't know the terms (I basically didn't until yesterday)

Tw - needles, implied sex

Recommended Song: Gregg's Woods - Alec Holowka

For the past couple of days, Astarion has been asking quite a few questions about your piercings. You had adorned your nose and face in tiny pieces of metal, all done by hand. Your little collection has grown over time, most recently with an eyebrow piercing once you settled down in Baldur's Gate once again.

"Do they hurt?"

"Like, when you pierce them? Yeah. You get used to it though. Surprised you don't have any honestly, elves are known for having the most elaborate piercings."

He stays silent for a moment, and you realize he wouldn't know that.

"Wasn't exactly a thing Cazador just let us do. Body modifications were mostly limited to demonic scars and being cut up for fun."

"Right... sorry."

"Don't be."

The conversation ended pretty abruptly, but picked up the next day while you were swapping out your nose ring.

"Do you ever get scared that your little ring will get caught on something and rip out of your nose?"

A sudden question, but a welcome one.

"I mean, sometimes, but not many people are that close to my nose. Unless you're planning on ripping out my piercing?"

You eye him suspiciously and he smirks.

"Oh, I would never."

This goes on for days, little prodding questions about all your accessories. One morning, while the two of you are lying in bed, you catch him staring at the helix on your ear.

"Astarion do you... do you want a piercing? Because I can do them. I mean I did these to myself."

"I've been thinking about it. I'm just a little nervous is all."

"Why my love?"

"I mean, I've never really had the freedom to do what I want with my body, in a lot of ways. That's one of those things I never got to explore, all the body modifications people are oh so familiar with. I suppose I could've done one with an embroidery needle if I was desperate, but that's just not something I had the liberty to think about."

You move a strand of hair out of his eyes.

"Well, you have the freedom to do whatever you want now."

"Then perhaps I'd like a couple."

"A couple? You don't wanna start with one?"

"Nonsense! One would be sad and pathetic, and we know I am a man of extravagance."

"Alright, if you insist."

You then grab a notebook sitting on the bedside table, and begin to draw out a plan for his piercings. Astarion insists that he only wants them on his ears, because he doesn't want anything to ruin his perfect face. As you're sketching, you continue to talk.

"You know this is gonna suck, right? Since your ears are so sensitive?"

"Sensitive? What makes you say that."

You blankly stare at him until he gives up.

"Okay fine, but I'm sure it can't be that bad!"

"I don't know. I mean I'm going to stab multiple holes through your ears. You barely like them being touched."

"I've been through enough pain. Nothing compares to jagged cuts in your back, I promise."

There are many moments like that, where he says something tragic that you just can't bring yourself to argue with. Without another word, he curls up against you, and the two of you discuss the options he has. Eventually, you settle on five on each side, because he INSISTED they be symmetrical.

"Tav, what kind of idiot would I look like if I had one ear with a bunch of shit on it, and one just, empty?"

"I guess you're not wrong."

He decides on two helixes, two lobe piercings, and a daith. You're a little surprised that he's going all out on this, but you don't mind. Everyone has that thing that lets them feel free, the thing they finally do to show the world 'I'm my own person.' Besides, if he didn't like them he could simply let them heal back up, forget this ever happened.

You go to grab your little makeshift piercing kit, full of fine needles you've collected over time, just in case you ever lose some.

"Now, you'll have to wear some of mine since you don't have your own earrings yet, but I'm sure you won't mind because my collection is amazing."

He sits up in bed, his shirt sleeve softly draping off his shoulder. If he could still be in the sun, you'd imagine a beam of light coming through the window right now, illuminating his face. You sit beside him, gently placing the box of needles by your feet.

"Alright, I'm gonna walk you through this as I do it, and if you want to stop at any time we can."

"Thank you my love."

The thought crosses your mind, that he'd probably not let any other soul on the planet do this kind of thing. Any time he's let someone else have control over his body, it's been riddled with sin and scars. But you? You've always been kind, soft, present. That's one thing he loves most about you, that he feels like he can be present. Not drifting off somewhere else, not closing off his mind to defend himself, not playing a chess match in his head. It's, easy. Life is easy now, and isn't that something wonderful?

"Alright, we're gonna start on the lobe. You feel the needle?"

You hold it lightly against his ear, and he shivers a little.

"Mhm."

"Alright, don't tense, but it's gonna hurt."

You hear the air escape through his teeth as the needle goes through. A pretty clean job if you do say so yourself.

"Well?"

You put in a dangling gold moon, waiting to see how he feels.

"Painful, but not horrible."

"Want to go again?'

"Of course."

He says it a little suggestively, and you give him a playful push.

"Save it for later imp."

You continue with his piercings, taking small breaks in between for conversation. You've continued adorning his ears with astral-themed jewelry, little stars and such. By the time you've finished the last one, you're quite pleased with your work. Astarion almost doesn't let you put the last earring in since he's so excited to see what you've done. He had Gale teach him mirror image a while ago, so he could finally see his reflection whenever he wanted. After casting it and giving his ears a look, he smiles.

Astarion laughs at your comment, giving one of those genuine smiles you used to rarely see. You silently curse the people that took that smile from him, wondering how anyone could see this specimen and torment him. He's like a pixie, a little trickster, someone you could pick up and hold forever. You know you're probably the only one who sees him that way, the only one who would call him cute, but he is. He enjoys it, being viewed as something that isn't devious or sexual, but a bright presence. You told him once how it's ironic that he can't be in the sun, because he was probably sunnier than the sun itself. He'd never let you tell anyone else that though.

"I... I think I quite like them."

"I do too. It's fitting."

You plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Worth the pain?"

"Most things are my love. Like you."

His hand meets your face, taking you into a deep kiss. When you break away, you whisper in his ear.

"I think they make you sexier too."

A chuckle under his breath, lips meeting again, and the morning is soon wasted away in bed. What a joy, to wake up every day with him, with someone living their life anew. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Neither of you know, but it's exciting none-the-less.

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #fluff

[xomakara]

Only One For Me

SUMMARY | Hanging out with your friends at the hottest club in Chicago, you never expect to see Johnny after you had left the idol life, your friends and him after a scandal. Johnny says he misses you and shows you how much he really does miss you. PAIRINGS | Johnny/Fem!Reader GENRE | friends to lovers, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, dirty talk, angst, drama, fluff(?) towards the end. RATING | Mature LENGTH | 11,413 words AUTHOR'S NOTE | This was supposed to be short but I guess it turned out longer than I expected LOL. Once my fingers are on a roll, anything is possible haha. Anything in italics is spoken in Korean. Enjoy lol

Your music is not cut out for it. Who's gonna listen to that shit?

You shook those words from your mind as you tried to focus on what was happening in front of you. The lights were dimmed, there was pumped up music, countless sweaty bodies out on the dance floor, drunks making moves on men and women. It was hard not to focus on anything else but the music that the club was playing was horrible.

Who listened to this crap anymore?

You obviously didn’t.

“Ouu~ this song is my jam!” The dark-skinned girl next to you yelled out, wiggling in your seat. Tori was one of your best friends since high school and was notorious for being a party girl. Even at the age of twenty-eight, all she did was go to clubs, bars, and lounges.

And you blamed her for dragging you there.

“Everything is your jam, Tori!” Another woman, whose blond waves bounced about, yelled back. Becca was your other best friend from high school and was still the smartest person you knew. Since you left for Seoul a few years back, Becca was a successful business owner with a tendency to party nowadays. Tori was most likely rubbing off on her.

“Uh huh, but you’re dancing too!” Tori yelled right back. Both women wiggled in their seats, drinks in one hand.

You never really liked the club scene. You were much more reserved and preferred to be in a bar or lounge, where they tended to play better music and have less sweaty bodies. Those were the places where you got most of the inspiration for writing your own music. You were feeling a bit out of your element here.

“Come on, Y/N. Loosen up and let's get partying.” Becca danced in her seat next to you.

“No thanks.” You shook your head, swirling the alcoholic concoction in your hand with the stirrer. “I feel out of my comfort zone here.”

“Girl, don’t they party in Korea?” Becca asked, taking a sip of whatever drink she ordered, nodding her head to the music.

You shrugged. There were parties in Seoul but you were so busy working that you never had the time to go and party. Your days were packed with dance practices, song rehearsals, variety shows, music programs. It was hard being an idol.

Correction... 

An ex-idol.

You used to be a member of a now popular girl group but left due to differences in music and joined another company. The group you were in, tended to go for the cute songs and concepts but because you were the oldest of the group, you wanted to try something new. Something sexy or mature. But the company and the other girls didn't like it. ‘We would lose our public appeal’, they said.

Another reason why you left, certain sources claimed, was the scandal with a very popular male idol with a huge fanbase. Well… that was how the media portrayed it. But there was some truth to the news.

Glad you’re out of the group. We don’t need a whore like you ruining our reputation. You really thought a girl like you could really be with a top idol like him? Dream on, Y/N.

You shook your head, clearing your mind of those bad memories. In the wake of your scandal, you asked your new company if you could take a leave of absence or go on an indefinite hiatus. They gave you permission, halting what little schedules you had. You cut all your ties to any idol friends and boarded the next available plane to come back to the States. 

And here you were. 

Back home with family and friends.

A place you could truly feel at home.

“I was so busy working that I didn’t have time to party or even go out for drinks.” You replied, taking a sip of your alcoholic beverage. “I feel like I’ve forgotten how to party.”

Tori placed her now empty glass on the table and reached forward to link arms with you and Becca. “Well, come on girl! You’re back home and away from all that negativity! So let’s just have fun and dance!”

She had a point. You were away from all that negativity. All those bad vibes. You had a chance to be free.

The music in this joint still sucked though.

Tori led Becca and you to a clearing in the middle of the dance floor. Back during your high school and college days, you were considered a horrible dancer that lacked confidence but you guess those dance training lessons paid off. You still weren't an amazing dancer like other Korean idols but you could still hold your own. Plus, the alcohol flowing through your body made you feel free and relaxed. Swaying your hips and occasionally doing some body rolls seemed to attract some attention towards your way. You were suddenly feeling the hype and despite the bad music, your body wouldn’t stop moving. You really couldn’t believe that you forgot how to have fun.

“Ouuu~what song is this?” Tori asked excitedly as the beat and tempo of the music changed.

“Are they performing this song live or something?” Becca asked from in front of you.

It wasn't typical club music. That quickly died down to be replaced with the sounds of a live band playing. Different yet familiar to your ears.  The powerful drums, the rhythmic strumming of the guitars and bass, the beautiful melody coming from the keyboard. All sounds that were too familiar.

It couldn’t be, could it?

You shook your head and didn’t even bother to turn around to see who was playing. Chicago always had some new talent out in the streets and it wasn’t uncommon for aspiring singers to be playing a gig.

“I think it’s Korean.” You heard Becca call out.

“How do you know?” Tori asked her.

“I listen to enough K-Pop to know what Korean sounds like.” Becca stated matter of factly. Which was true since she showed you her extensive playlist of popular groups like Stray Kids, Got7, Infinite, etc. “I've never heard of these guys before though. But then again, their music isn’t really my style.”

“You sure it’s in Korean? Sounds like English to me.” Tori softly swayed to the music, joining the crowd that was enraptured by the live band playing and singers singing. “So this is what the bartender meant when he said that there was going to be live playing and singing later.”

“We'll take the highway to heaven And I can't wait to love you all alone (Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah) We'll take the highway to heaven On the 101, let's see just where it goes (Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, oh yeah yeah)” 

Wait… what? Why did you know this song? And why does it sound like he’s here? It has to be a joke right? You shook your head and pushed the thought to the back of your mind. You were probably going crazy getting cooped up in your room all the time.

“Last call, are you coming with me? I got some things you want to see Tell all your friends that you're busy, they know They know we got the chemistry Love how your body feels on me When you get back, let me get that”

But why did those lyrics sound so damn familiar? You just couldn’t put your mind on it. You were going crazy, weren’t you? Yeah that had to be it.

“Baby you should know, I won't let you go I'll show you the world if you say so Oh, she's so bad (So bad) I'll make it last And baby, I can't leave you alone”

“Why does this song sound so familiar?” You muttered mostly to yourself but Becca heard.

“You know this song?” She asked, clearly feeling the music as she grooved to the pop song.

You shrugged, still a bit confused. This was clearly a Korean song but why is it sung in English? “Kind of. I mean it’s originally in Korean. Are they doing English covers of Korean songs?”

Becca shook her head. “The bartender said that it was a group of Korean men that was going to perform though. Maybe it’s an English version?”

Can’t be… Could it? The boys surely couldn’t be here… You doubt their company would send them to a venue like this. They would normally play in bigger venues.

“Damn, they’re good.” Tori muttered from next to you. She gave you a small smile and nodded to the stage, all the while swaying along to the song. “Do you know them by any chance?”

You sighed. You guess you could turn around and indulge your friends. You turned and it felt like your world ended.

Of all places...why here? Why at this time and place?

They danced as great as they always did. They sang with passion as they always did. They looked even more emotional than usual and when he turned his head towards your way while singing his lines, he caught your eyes. He didn’t falter even once as he locked his eyes on you. He continued dancing, those mesmerizing eyes piercing through your very soul. That sweet, velvety voice singing into the microphone, the sound of it ringing through your head.

God, you missed him.

You missed his voice, his face, the way his long fingers would push back his hair from his face. You missed his laughter, his smile, his eyes. You missed everything about him.

You turned back to Becca and Tori and took a deep breath. “I need some fresh air.”

They didn’t stop you as they continued to feel the music. You made your way towards the bar and asked for some water to hydrate your now dry throat. What will you say when they find you? What do you say when he talks to you? You shook your head and finished your water not noticing that the group finished their set and was replaced by another live band performing.

You turned to head towards the door to get a breather when you bumped into someone, spilling his drink all over the counter. “Oops! I’m so sorry!”

He turned to you and you saw that he was an Asian man of about five feet eleven inches and he seemed to have an air of sophistication on him. He raised his eyebrows when he saw you, his mouth opened slightly to speak.

Shit. Why Jeffrey of all people?

“It’s you! What are you doing here?” He asked in rapid Korean. “Do you know how much everyone has been asking about you?”

Oh no. What do you say?

“Hyung, there you are.” Another man approached him, his voice carefree and lighthearted. He looked at Jeffrey’s stunned face and then turned to you, his eyes going wide. “Oh! Noona! You were here all along?!”

Full Sun...

Fuck. You knew it. Once you saw one of them, you’ll end up seeing the rest of the guys. You turned away from them, leaving them stunned and a sputtering mess. “Sorry, I don’t know you!”

You pushed your way through the small crowd that gathered by the back door and went to an empty clearing. You needed to catch your breath. It’s been a year since you had seen anyone from the industry so why were they here of all places? Did they have a gig here somewhere in Chicago and decided to let loose or something?

You weren't paying attention as you bumped into something, rather someone, again. What the hell was wrong with you today? You were losing it. You had to be losing it. Seeing the group made you lose composure. 

Yeah, that was it.

“You okay?” A voice said from above you. That voice. That smooth velvety voice.

Johnny.

You couldn’t hide so you looked up at him with uncertainty in your eyes. “I’m fine... It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

A soft chuckle. “Yeah it’s been a year. How have you been, Y/N?”

Breathe in and out, Y/N. In and out. “It’s been dandy. Just living life one step at a time. How have you and the boys been, Johnny?”

A smile and the sound of his clothes shuffling about. From the corner of your eyes, you saw him lift his hand but placed it back at his side. “Oh, you know. The usual. Making new music, performing with the guys.”

“So why are you guys here? Randomly partying?” You asked out of curiosity.

He nodded, slicking his hair back. “Yeah. You? I couldn’t help but see a few old friends with you.”

You shrugged. “Apparently I was too cooped up in my room writing music. Tori dragged me out.”

“You're still writing music?” He asked. You gave him a small nod. “I'd like to hear it one day.”

“One day…” You muttered, your voice drowning out when you heard the voices.

“I swore I saw her, Mark.”

“You sure Jaehyun? Y/N has been avoiding all of us. She hasn't even been picking up Johnny’s calls.”

“I saw her too, Mark.”

“Even you Haechan? Wow, where was I at?”

You scanned his profile. Has things changed since the last time you saw him a year ago? He was still tall but he seemed to gain muscle. He hadn’t changed one bit. You let out a soft chuckle. “Jaehyun saw me first. Then Haechan. I ran away from them.”

“That sounds like you.” He chuckled. He bit his lower lip, probably thinking of what to say next. “Everyone misses you.”

But did you? You weren't about to ask him that though. “Yeah, I missed everyone too.”

“Y/N, I-” He started but was cut short when you shook your head.

“It's okay, Johnny.” You muttered, shaking your head. “You don’t need to say anything.”

Out of the blue, someone pushed you and you landed into Johnny’s outstretched arms. You pulled back almost instantly and he looked at you with sad eyes. If it was before your scandal and departure, you wouldn't have minded it. You would have thought he was joking or something like he normally did. Teased you, slightly pushed you away but… He didn't. His eyes held a certain sadness in them, as if he was telling you he was sorry for everything that happened, telling you that it was alright, telling you that he didn't mean those words.

You wanted to hear those words out loud. You wanted…

What did you want?

He reached out, cupping your cheek. “Y/N. I missed you.”

A Year Ago

“But why noona?” Haechan asked.

The rumors and the hate you were getting about your scandal and departure from your ex-group was stressing you out that the new company you were with was having trouble trying to control the situation. You had come to visit one of your best friends in the industry, letting him and his group mates know that you were going on a hiatus indefinitely and that you were going back home to the States.

“Do you really have to go noona?” Jungwoo asked from the couch.

You nodded, your hand touching the scar you received a week ago on your neck. It wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. “Yes. I’m tired and I just want to go home.”

“But Y/N, how will we keep in contact?” Yuta asked, frowning next to Haechan.

“I'm always a phone call away.” You gave him a small smile. “You can always call me when you need to.”

“You’re going to be on the other side of the world.” Taeil muttered, Doyoung nodding next to him. “It's going to be hard to contact you with our schedules and the time zone difference.”

“I know. I don’t want to do this but…” You trailed off and looked down at your feet.

“If you hadn’t gone to his house late at night, you wouldn’t be in this predicament.” Johnny muttered from his seat in the kitchen. 

Here it comes again. 

The fighting.

“And how was I supposed to know that some crazy paparazzi was going to be taking pictures?” You retaliated. This was not the first time that you and Johnny got into a heated argument about this topic. He felt so strongly about it and as much as you wanted to let it go, he always brought it back up. “He’s a friend. There was nothing going on between us.”

“Friend, my ass. You think the media thinks that? To them a female idol and a male idol are meeting in secret.” Johnny argued back, getting up to stride towards you. Sure he towered over you with his height, but there was no way you were going to be intimidated. “You really thought a girl like you could really be with someone like him? Dream on, Y/N. Get over yourself. He doesn’t love you.”

“I know he doesn’t! And I don’t like him in the romantic sense. Why are you being such an ass?” You glared up at him. You could tell the boys were getting concerned, Doyoung and Jungwoo backing away from whatever fist fight Johnny and you were going to put up. Jaehyun and Taeyong stood close by to step in if anything.

“I just wonder what’s going on with that thick skull of yours?! Of all guys, why him?” Johnny muttered out in English. For the past few times you've argued, it's been in English. He brought up his hand, as if to strike you, but clenched his fist and put it down. “If you wanted to date someone, you could’ve dated one of the guys. Taeil or Taeyong is a better choice than him!”

“Why do you always think I like him?! Why do you always jump to conclusions whenever I have guys as friends?” You retaliated back in English. “Why are you concerned about who I date and don't date?”

Johnny scoffed and threw his hands in the air. He gave you an incredulous look. “Who wouldn’t like him? He’s popular compared to NCT. You’d like to be the center of attention, don’t you? Especially after your group kicked you out.”

Center of attention?

Ouch. What a way to hit someone when they were down.

“Of all people, I thought you would be supportive of me Johnny! We go way back since our high school and college days and this is how you think of me?!” You shouted, the other members of NCT 127 backing away. You took a deep sigh out of frustration and looked him in the eyes. “Fine! I’m done.”

“What are you talking about Y/N?” Johnny shouted back, his hands grasping your shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s like you said Johnny. I like being the center of attention since I'm not the popular one in my ex-group. What else can I do when even my vocal trainer says I can't sing but you know for a fact that I could sing better than any of those girls? But you know what? I don’t need your permission or approval to do the things I want to do.” You shook yourself from his hands and stared at his angry face. You grabbed your things and headed towards the door. “I’m leaving Seoul. And I’m not coming back. Not for those girls, not for him… And especially not for you.”

“Y/N, I missed you.”

What a liar. No he didn’t. He was the one who pushed you away first.

Johnny looked down at you, his eyes filled with sadness. Perhaps regret? You looked away, not wanting to get drowned in those eyes of his. And as much as you missed the man, you couldn’t forgive him for pushing you away like that. What he said was a hard blow. It even hurts to think about it. You hated to admit that you missed him, but after remembering what he said, you just couldn’t help but be mad and angry.

“Sure you did, Johnny.” You shrugged his hands off. You crossed your arms across your chest, and couldn’t help but notice that Johnny looked down at you. “I don’t have time to listen to your excuses. Now if you excuse me…”

“You’ve changed Y/N.” He muttered, running a hand through his hair. His eyes ran over your body, probably checking out your outfit.

“I’m still the same person.” You looked back at him. “You’re the one who’s changed.”

“I…”

“Is hyung hitting on a girl?” You heard a voice call out in Korean. From the corner of your eye, you saw the other members of NCT 127 make their way towards you both.

“Hush. Maybe she's an old friend of his.” Mark replied in Korean, as they stopped in front of you and Johnny. He took your profile in, his eyes scanning up and down, and if he noticed who you were, he didn't say anything.

“Hyung, are you making this pretty girl cry?” Jungwoo asked, giving you a concerned look. It was like he didn't recognize you because he started to speak in broken English. “Oh, is Johnny making you sad?” 

You giggled. That broken English of his was adorable. It made you want to protect him despite him being in his twenties. “I'm fine Jungwoo-ah. Your English is improving a lot. Speaking full sentences now!”

“She’s speaking Korean! Wait, she said my name. Do we know each other?” The man asked in Korean, as he looked at you, his face scrunched up. He had to remember you with the way his face lit up a few seconds later. “Oh! Y/N-noona!”

You nodded, a small smile lighting up your face. “Hi guys. It's good to see you again.”

“See? I told you we saw her, Mark.” Haechan frowned at Mark.

“Why'd you bolt out like that earlier?” Jaehyun asked seconds later. “Almost gave me and Haechan a heart attack.”

“I'm sorry.” You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. “I had a little too much to drink and thought you two were going to do something perverted.”

“More like you'd do something perverted, Y/N.” Mark chuckled, coming forward to give you a small hug. “It's been a year. We all miss you.”

“I missed you too, Mark.” You returned his hug, hands coming to pat his back lightly. “But can you let go of me now? My friends are going to fight you if you hug me too long.”

“What friends?” Mark muttered as he pulled away from you. You pointed behind him and he turned around, noticing the two girls who stood a few feet away, both glaring at him and the other members. “Them? They look like they won’t hurt a fly.”

“You’d be surprised.” Johnny answered back, his members giving him a confused look.

You nodded, Tori and Becca coming to your side instantly. They linked their arms with yours and stared at Mark, the male backing away. Johnny couldn't help but chuckle. You let out a small smile. “Hey, you two. Sorry about that. I needed a breather.”

“Were these guys bothering you, Y/N?” Tori asked menacingly, looking over at each of the guys. 

“You're okay, right?” Becca looked you over, checking for any signs that you were hurt. She gestured to Mark. “That man over there didn't do anything inappropriate to you, did he?”

“Inappropriate?” Mark softly asked, Johnny stifling a laugh. 

The girls both spoke to you in English, with only Johnny, Mark and Jaehyun understanding everything. The other six probably understood, since they were English capable on command. When did you start speaking to them in Korean? Heck, when did you start speaking in Korean when it was just Johnny and you alone earlier?

You shook your head. “It's okay, girls. They're friends of mines from Korea. Plus, I think you know one of them already, although I don't know if you'll recognize him.”

“Why would we know idols?” Becca asked, eyeing the members. Yeah, she really didn't know the group.

“I'd like to refer to ourselves as musicians and artists.” Johnny responded, suddenly throwing an arm around you. “Right, Y/N?”

You looked at him and debated on whether you should fling his arm off but then thought better of it. You couldn't let your friends think that you were having drama with the guys despite what happened a year ago. “Uh huh. Sure, Johnny. The boys think of themselves as musicians and artists. Tori, Becca, meet NCT 127. Guys, meet my best friends, Tori and Becca.”

“Before you introduce yourself,” Tori said to Johnny and gestured to the other members behind us. “Do they all even know English?”

“Yeah! It’s one thing to speak and understand English and it’s another when you memorize just words.” Becca inputted.

“Of course, they understand. They’re English capable. Apart from Mark and Jaehyun…” You sighed and ran a hair through your dark hair. Johnny tucked a random piece of your hair behind your ear and looked down at you, nodding at your answer. You looked up at him and gestured with your chin, “…and this guy, the others understand. Introduce yourself already.”

“Geez, okay. Don’t have to be mean about it.” Johnny, with his arm still around you, let out a chuckle. He lazily waved at the other two girls, leaning his tall frame unto your short one. “Hey guys. It’s your boy Johnny. Hope you guys remember me.”

Tori bit her lip. “Johnny…”

“I don’t remember a Johnny...” Becca asked, her face scrunched up. “Wait…OH! The one dude that always followed after Y/N back in high school?” 

“I never followed after her.” Johnny grumbled. Despite the protest, you could tell he was enjoying the banter since his chest rumbled with laughter, ever so slightly. “She followed me.”

“Whatever, John Jun Suh.” You retorted, using his full name. You never used his full name unless it was to tease him or when you were mad with him. “You were following me, along with all the boys that were in my fan group. Goes to show that I was a beauty back in high school.”

Upon hearing the words coming from your lips, Johnny gave a side look, his eyes soft. His big smile turned into a small soft one. He replied in Korean, so Tori and Becca couldn’t hear. “You still are beautiful.” 

“Hyung.” Doyoung frowned, obviously catching what the second eldest member said. “Don’t be flirting with Y/N-noona like that. You know how she gets.”

“Johnny,” Taeyong started, eyes flickering back and forth between the two of you. It was clear that the boys would be speaking in Korean, since they wouldn’t want the girls to know what was going on. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be casually flirting with Y/N.”

“Yeah, especially with what happened.” Taeil muttered, slightly concerned about how this was going to go down. Yuta nodded next to him.

“Are you guys dating?” Becca interrupted everyone as she pointed to you and Johnny. “Because you two look really friendly.”

Jaehyun responded with wide eyes but you shook your head, signaling that you had it under control.

“It’s okay, guys.” You smiled at them. Suddenly wrapping your arms around Johnny’s neck, you gazed up at him. “You owe me for this. And don’t think I forgive you too.”

And before Johnny could respond at the sudden act of you wrapping your arms around him, you stood on your toes and pressed your lips to his. 

Even you were surprised at your own actions.

What were you doing? Of all people, why is it Johnny Suh that you’re kissing?

Did you miss him that much that you just wanted to kiss him?

It couldn’t be. You and Johnny were friends. You’ve known each other for years and never once did he show any romantic interest in you or you in him.

You felt his strong arms coming to wrap around your lower back, his fingers lingering on the span of naked skin that was exposed from your clubbing outfit. You felt him tightening his hold on you, his soft lips slowly moving against yours, the deep breaths he took, the rise and fall of his chest. Your bodies were so close that you could feel his rapid heartbeat through the layers of his clothes and it made you wonder if he could feel yours.

You mentally scolded yourself, wondering why you were doing this. No, you shouldn’t have done it. You shouldn’t have kissed him just to have your friends think that you’re friendly with him. Or dating him. What will the boys think after? That you’re suddenly making a move on the second eldest NCT member?

What would Johnny think?

Johnny rested his forehead against yours as you broke the kiss, trying to get his breathing back under control. His arms were still wrapped against your lower back, your own still around his neck. His eyes were closed, a small chuckle escaping from his lips. “Y/N…”

“Don’t.” You whispered, slightly shaking your head against his. “Don’t ruin the moment because it won’t happen again.”

He kept quiet, as if he was contemplating your words. He pulled his head back some, still holding on to you as he stared down at your face. “I─”

“We’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.” You heard Tori call out. Shit, you forgot about them. You glanced over to where she stood, her arms latched onto Yuta's right arm and Jaehyun’s left arm. The boys had confused expressions on their faces and looked at Johnny for some sort of guidance.

“Yeah, you two probably have a lot to catch up since it’s been a year since you last saw each other.” Becca nodded and you noticed that she too, had her arms latched onto Taeyong and Haechan. “So we’ll go back into the club with the guys.”

“You guys can drink, right?” Tori asked Jaehyun, who nodded in return. You watched as they walked into the club and you couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle when you saw the look on Mark’s face when he realized that he had to translate for everyone.

“Johnny-hyung!” Haechan called out, as Jaehyun shot you both a look. “Don’t do anything stupid!”

“What did he say?” Becca asked Mark, stopping momentarily as she nodded at Haechan. Mark shrugged in response as Becca just smiled and dragged the poor guys into the club.

“I miss that laugh and smile.” You heard Johnny mutter, still aware that his arms were settled on your lower back. He gave you a boyish grin and you couldn’t help but bite the inside of your cheeks before you let out a weird shriek. “So…can we talk about what’s going on between us?”

You shrugged yourself out of his grasp, moving away to put some distance between you both. Now this was awkward. Really awkward. You ran a hand through your hair and gestured to you both. “This kiss that happened between you and I, forget about it. It never happened.”

“Y/N.” Johnny started, coming to stand in front of you. “If you’re still mad about what happened a year ago─”

“I am!” You interrupted him and looked away. Did he not understand that what he said made you furious? “I’m still mad at you, Johnny. That fight, those words…I still remember it so clearly. I thought we were best friends and nothing could come between us, but I guessed wrong. What happened when we suddenly started fighting? What happened that made things take a wrong turn?”

“He happened.” Johnny muttered, looking down at the ground. “Ever since he came into the picture, things have changed between us. You started hanging out with him and his members more than you hung out with me and the rest of the guys. You’d blow off our plans to do other things with them.”

“You were mad because I had other friends?” You asked, with an airy sigh. “Johnny, you’re my best friend. Even if I made new friends, you’re the most important one. We grew up together.”

“Yeah. But people change Y/N.” Johnny said as he stepped in front of you and laid a hand on your arm. “You changed and I changed.”

You looked up at him and shrugged his hand off. “Because of him, huh? Because I was getting closer to him than anyone else.”

“He wasn’t good for you Y/N.” Johnny muttered as he returned the stare. “Anyone is better than him.”

“Like who?” You asked, watching as he averted his eyes. “The boys? You?”

“You know I’m only looking out for you.” Johnny replied back as he bit his lower lip. “You’re one of my best friends and I want what’s best for you. Taeil or Taeyong, heck even Jaehyun, was a better choice.”

Friends, huh? 

Why was that a slight blow? Did you want something more from him? Were you expecting something else from him? You just felt disappointed and you didn’t even know why.

You just wanted to hear something else. Something that showed that he saw you as a woman and not a friend.

Even something little.

“Don’t deny that you guys aren’t together.” Johnny said, as he stuffed his hands in his pocket, and blew his hair from his face. “I know you too damn well to know when you lie to me.”

“Even a year later, nothing escapes you huh?” You muttered, as you crossed your arms across your chest. “Things wouldn’t have turned out this way if I hadn’t gone to his place in the middle of the night and kept my legs closed.”

“Wait, what? You slept with him?” Johnny asked, his voice somehow getting a bit loud. The wrinkles started to form on his forehead as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Tell me you’re kidding.”

You bit your lip and shook your head. “I’m not kidding Johnny. We had sex a few times. I never told you because I know how you get.”

“Y/N─” Johnny started but you shook my head.

“See, you’re doing it again.” You interrupted him as he ran a hand through his hair. “Can we not fight again, Johnny? I’m getting tired of always fighting with my best friend.”

“I’m not going to argue with you or anything.” Johnny sighed as he crossed his arms. “I just wished you’d told me. Then I could have prevented it from happening.”

“Prevented what? Having sex with him?” He nodded in reply and you let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m a grown woman who has urges, Johnny. I don’t prevent you from having sex with other girls.”

“What other girls?” He asked, blinking a few times.

“Don’t play dumb with me.” You muttered. “What girl wouldn’t want to sleep with a handsome guy like you?”

“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows. “So that explains everything, huh?”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes. You were curious about why he never wanted you to date others. “Besides, I fell for his sweet stupid words and lies. Why don’t you want me dating other men? You can’t be jealous, can you?”

He turned away quickly and you caught a slight nod of his head. Just a slight nod. “Yeah, I get pretty jealous. It’s because…”

“Because…?” You cocked your head slightly, waiting for an answer.

“You’re my best friend.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s because Jaehyun likes you.” He muttered, averting his gaze away. He looked over to the small crowd that gathered around the venue’s door. “That’s why.”

“Jaehyun?” You scoffed. You knew Jawhyun didn’t like you. “Yeah right. Jaehyun’s in love with himself. What’s the real reason?”

“Okay, okay!” Johnny turned back towards you and took a deep sigh, before pulling you into his arms. He took you by surprise as he tightened his hold. He rested his chin on your head so that you couldn’t see his face. But his heart was beating pretty fast. “After I tell you this, I’m not sure if we can go back to what we were before. But still I have to say this. I like you Y/N. I tried to hold it down but I can’t do it anymore. It took me a long time to say this…but I really, really like you. Fuck, I might even love you.”

“Wait. What?” Before you could even let out another sound, he silenced you with a kiss. It was different from the one you gave him earlier. His was soft and tender and you couldn’t help but revel in it. It was different from other kisses you’ve had with other men and...you can’t believe you’re actually saying it...but you really like it.

“Johnny, say it again.” You breathed out in between kisses.

“Please don’t make me say it again.” He muttered against your lips, resting his forehead against yours. Johnny cupped your face with one of his big palms, his thumb softly caressing your cheek.

You let out an oddly satisfying sigh. “Or you’ll do what?”

“Geezes, woman.” He chuckled lightly before pecking you softly on the lips again. “You drive me crazy.”

Johnny wanted to hold hands in the club, but you weren’t quite ready yet. At least not mentally. Sure you both exchanged a couple more kisses here and there before making your way back into the venue. Sure your best friends thought that Johnny and you were a couple.

But you weren’t so sure about the boys. Hell, you don’t even know about your own damn feelings.

Were you a couple? Were you officially a thing?

Did you like Johnny like how he likes you? Or has it been so long since you felt the touch of another man, that your body is just yearning for him? Yeah, it had to be that. You had to be sexually frustrated to even think of sleeping with your best friend.

God, does he look good right now.

NO. NO. NO. NO. 

Y/N, stop it. You’re just a bit horny all because Johnny just kissed you.

Stop it.

You looked over at him as he conversed with Tori and Becca, no doubt catching up on old times. As if sensing that you were looking at him, he turned his head to look at you and sent you a smile that made you weak in the knees and momentarily short of breath.

“You okay there, Y/N?” He asked in Korean, swiping at the hair that fell into his eyes. “Are you tired? Do you want to rest for a bit?”

You shook my head. “I’m okay, Johnny. Where are the boys? I haven’t seen them since we got back into the club.”

“Jaehyun went to the bar with Taeil and Doyoung.” Johnny pointed towards the bar where you saw the three members waiting on their drinks. “Jungwoo went to the restroom and Mark, Haechan, Taeyong and Yuta are dancing in the corner over there.”

“Does he really dance like that?” Tori asked as she watched Taeyong dance.

“Yep.” Johnny nodded. “He’s one of the main dancers.”

The boys came back to your cozy spot at the club and settled themselves comfortably in the lush seats. Although not as fluent in English as Johnny, Mark or Jaehyun, the boys conversed in English as they tried to get to know Tori and Becca better.

“Where are you guys staying?” You randomly asked Johnny as he fiddled with the beer bottle in his hand. He opened another one and handed it to you. “At a hotel?”

“Nah, I’m crashing back at home for the duration of our stay here. The boys are at a hotel.” Johnny chuckled as he pulled out his phone and showed a recent picture he took with his mom. “Mom is pretty happy that I’m back home for once. Oh yeah, are you staying with your parents?”

“No, I got my own place.” You replied, as you cooed over the picture, complimenting how cute his mom was. “Mom and Dad were pretty disappointed that I moved out.”

“Because you keep bringing guys over?” Johnny joked as he slid his phone back into his pocket.

“It’s because I don’t bring guys over.” You rolled your eyes and Johnny couldn’t help but laugh.

“But imagine the look on our parents' faces if they knew we hooked up.” Johnny chuckled as he took a drink of his beer. So you were just hooking up, huh? “My mom would make you move in ASAP.”

“Not unless my mom makes you move in her house instead.” You laughed as well. “They live down the street, so I don’t understand why they make such a big deal over it.”

Johnny leaned back in his seat and looked over at you. His eyes seemed to roam along your whole body and for once, you felt pretty self-conscious around him. “It must be nice to have your own place though. I share a room with Haechan in the dorms.”

“You’d think by now you’d have your own place with the way you are bringing girls home.” You raised your eyebrows teasingly at him. “Hey, I had a weird thought. Did you want to stop by my place maybe later tonight?”

“Holy shit, Y/N.” Johnny let out, his chest rumbling in laughter.

Shit.

Did you really just say that? Did you really invite Johnny to come back to your apartment later? What in the hell is wrong with you?

You looked towards the others and noticed that Tori and Becca talked about some random hottie they saw on the dance floor. The boys seemed distracted by a group of young men and women dancing in front of them, Taeyong debating if he wanted to join them. But the look Johnny gave you, made you curse myself.

“Yah, Y/N.” Johnny started in Korean as he scooted closer to you, his hand snaking around your waist and pulling you closer. “Are you inviting me over to your place to have fun?”

“Forget I said anything.” You rolled your eyes at him. “Who’d want to have fun with you?”

“Hey, you’re the one who said that girls can’t resist a handsome man like me.” Johnny chuckled as his fingers tapped against your naked midriff. “I’m handsome. I can dance. I have a deep voice for singing and rapping...”

“Dammit, Johnny.” You cursed aloud, the others looking your way. They raised their eyebrows before continuing their conversations and whatever the hell they were doing. “I hate you. I really hate you.”

Johnny moved his body even closer to yours and raised his eyebrows. “So onto a very touchy subject...How was sex with Hyunsik?”

Why did he bring that up? “It was okay, I guess.”

Im Hyunsik, one of BTOB’s vocalists and the father of majority of their music. The man you’ve slept with on numerous occasions. The man you had a scandal with. When was it that you started that forbidden relationship with Hyunsik?

Ah.

You were also promoting with the girl group you were in as well. You remembered after your performances, NCT 127 invited your group out for drinks but the other girls declined since they were quite a bit younger. 

You met the members of BTOB at the restaurant you went to and despite being attached to the members of NCT at the hip, the guys in BTOB seemed to attract your interest. And before you knew it, you started to hang out with them more and become friends with them. You vaguely remember Hyunsik asking you to meet up with him alone one time but how the relationship progressed from being just friends to friends who have sex with each other...you don’t remember at all.

“Oh?” Johnny raised his eyebrows. “Hm…. I would’ve thought that Im Hyunsik would’ve blown your mind. I mean he is a great vocalist and probably has lots of skills.”

“Yah. Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself, Johnny Suh.” You muttered, seemingly distracted by him. “And stop mentioning his name. It’s weird.”

“So then you don’t mind me asking…” Johnny smirked as he leaned his face closer to yours. “What do you think about us going to your place and just fuck?”

“What did you just say, Johnny?” You heard him wrong, right?

Johnny gave you a slight smirk, his long fingers touching, caressing, my naked midriff. You could see from the corner of your eyes that Tori and Becca were watching you both and if the boys saw it too, they probably ignored it. “You know what I said. Let’s go back to your place. Unleash the beast. Let this soldier have the spoils of war. Fuck.”

“Did you compare yourself as a soldier and me as the spoils of war?” You asked, scrunching your nose. You could care less about his vulgar language considering you used it pretty often, but did this guy really compare himself to a soldier?

“Did you like that? It was good, huh?” He asked, pretty proud of himself for coming up with that analogy. “Man, I’m a genius.”

“What a loser.” You rolled your eyes and looked at him. Just because he was being a tease, you thought you’d tease him back by running a finger down his chest. He took a sharp breath, his eyes wide. “But I’m down to let this soldier surround himself in his spoils of war.”

“Geezes, woman.” Johnny let out as he tried to control his breathing. “Were you like this with Hyunsik?”

“Yah,” you frowned and stopped. “Didn’t I say not to mention his name?”

He frowned as he grabbed hold of your finger. “Well, I don’t know what type of things you do with Hyunsik. Did you tease him like this too?”

You shook your head. “No. He did most of the teasing.”

His face lit up when you said that. He looked like a happy child at the candy store, surrounded by a whole bunch of sweets. “Ouuu~ So I get to experience sweet little Y/N’s teasing.”

“Go get a room, you two.” Tori called out, Becca nodding beside her. “We know you guys missed each other but come on.”

“Yeah. Go explore each other elsewhere.” Becca added, holding in her laugh. She turned to Tori, a big smile on her face. “I can’t believe today is the day we see Y/N with a guy.”

“And not even telling us about him, at all.” Tori shook her head in disappointment. “How could you not tell us that you had a boyfriend? Were you scared that we wouldn’t approve of Johnny?”

“I forgot to be honest.” You shrugged. You and Johnny were not a couple. You’d probably never be. At least you think so. “And you were always annoyed with Johnny back in high school. If I remember correctly, you kept getting annoyed with him whenever he signed up for the talent show.”

“Well this was before he started to sound so good!” Tori exclaimed, giving Johnny a sad frown. But it was only for a little while until her expression changed into that of a fangirl. 

“And before he started to look this good too.” Becca raised an eyebrow in appreciation. “Damn, what a glow-up. Y/N, you lucky bitch.”

“Stop giving him googly eyes, Becca.” You pinched her arm and she jumped in response. You gave her a small smile. “He’ll start getting a big head if you compliment him like that.”

Taeyong was sitting across from us, shaking his head in disapproval as the girls and Johnny laughed. He spoke in Korean, giving you and Johnny a frown. “Johnny, didn’t we tell you not to flirt with Y/N like that?”

“They haven’t seen each other in a year because of you-know-who and now they’re back to being normal.” Doyoung pouted.

Normal? Things did not get back to being normal, Doyoung. 

If anything, it took a weird turn. 

You had the biggest fight ever with Johnny a year ago, got reunited with him a few hours ago, kissed him like thirty minutes ago while he confessed to liking you, and now he wants to have sex with you. That’s normal? 

Oh, Kim Doyoung, you cute, innocent man.

“So noona and hyung are back to being friends?” Haechan asked as he shook his leg to the music.

Jungwoo shrugged. “I think so. Hyung, are you and noona back to being friends?”

Johnny looked at you, a mischievous smirk on his face. “Oh yeah. We’re back to being friends. Right, Y/N?”

That wink. Why did he have to do that? Be still your heart.

Johnny is just your best friend. Just your best friend of many, many years. A friend who is apparently attracted to you. Nothing more, nothing less… 

But what if…? No. 

You doubt Hyunsik will care about what you did or who you do. And if he does, you’d deal with that matter the next time you’re in Seoul.

If you ever return.

“Yeah, we’re back to being friends.” You nodded, not letting Johnny’s suggestive tone get to you. “Oh yeah. Do you guys want to go to my apartment so we can just chill and catch up?”

Johnny furrowed his eyebrows, when he heard you invite the others. 

Johnny Suh, I can not be alone with you anytime soon. You are apparently not good for my heart.

“It’s okay, Y/N. It’s kind of getting a bit late out so we’ll visit tomorrow if you don’t mind.” Taeyong smiled, the others agreeing.

“Johnny could walk you home though.” Taeil nudged Johnny playfully. “Right?”

“Yeah. I don’t mind.” Johnny chuckled, glad that the boys were bailing.

Damn. 

You thought you could get away with it, but apparently not. You told the girls that you were going to head home and they happily saw you and Johnny off. It had taken you about maybe fifteen minutes to walk back to your apartment since you didn’t live that far from the club. You opened your door and let Johnny in, he took off his shoes and slowly padded into your territory.

Your somewhat empty territory.

“Yeah… Sorry it looks empty.” You muttered as you scratched the back of your head. Your living room barely had any furniture apart from the couch, a coffee table, the TV, and a keyboard on one side of the wall. Your kitchen only had the basics such as a microwave, a coffee pot, and a few pots and pans scattered around the counter. “I haven’t had the time or money to buy more things.”

“I hope you don’t sleep on the floor.” Johnny shook his head as he took in the condition of the apartment.

“Nah, my bedroom is the only place that has the most furniture.” You laughed as he plopped himself on the couch. “I spend most of my time there anyway. Writing lyrics, composing music, playing the guitar, and sleep.”

“You still playing the guitar?” Johnny asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah. Just because I couldn’t when I was an idol doesn’t mean I stopped playing it.” You muttered as you sat next to him. “Now that I’m no longer in the group, I could write my own music and play the guitar all I want.”

“I want to hear one of your songs one day.” Johnny took your hand in his big ones and entwined your fingers together. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“I know. You’re amazing too.” You smiled up at him, he returned an even bigger smile.

“I really am sorry, Y/N.” Johnny muttered as he brought his other hand to tuck your hair behind your ears. “If I had the chance to return back to that time, I would have told you how I felt, how I like you. You would’ve been mine and you wouldn’t have been in this predicament. You wouldn’t have this scandal staining your reputation. You could have been happy with me.”

“I get it. And I accept your apology.” You gave him a soft smile. “But what’s done is done, Johnny. We can only move forward.”

“Moving forward, huh?” He let out a small laugh before leaning his body closer to yours, his hands on my waist. “Let’s move forward together.”

He closed the distance between you both and sensually placed a trail of kisses down your collarbone. Oh God. You loved it when he did that.

“So I guess we should talk about the future then.” Johnny stated as he bit your neck softly, his teeth grazing your skin.

“Uh huh.” You hummed as he trailed kisses down your shoulder, nibbling on your skin gently. “The future.”

“I don’t want to put you in this difficult position.” He looked up at you, those warm brown eyes brightening up.

Difficult position? As in sexually frustrated?

As in sexually frustrated, wanting to devour you?

Whoops. Way to give him ideas.

But no, you wanted to move forward, make something real. Even if it was just a one night stand even though you wanted more.

“Then what do you want?” You smirked, knowing exactly where this was heading. The kiss became harder, the movements more passionate. You grind your hips against his as he moaned in pleasure, both of you breaking away for a second to catch your breath.

“What I want is you. For as long as I want. I don’t want to leave your side anymore.” His words sent chills down your spine, goosebumps appearing on your skin. “I want to spend every waking moment with you. Whether we’re in Korea or America. Even if it’s just eating meals together, walking through the park, working out, watching movies, singing karaoke, spending holidays with each other, I want to spend every single second of my life with you. All of you.”

Wait, hold up. What? “What did you say?”

“Everything I said.” He grinned, a dimple appearing on his left cheek. “All of it. Every word.”

“You’re crazy.” You whispered. You hadn’t expected him to say that. Of course, you had hoped that he liked you but that was taking it to another level.

“Am I?” He asked, cupping your cheek with his hand. “Tell me. Is that crazy?”

You’d never thought someone could love you that much. Someone who wasn’t family or a lover. But Johnny loves you that much. You’re loved by someone else other than yourself. By someone who also made you feel special. Loved. 

You squeezed his hand tight, loving the feeling of his rough thumb running circles over your palm. “No, Johnny. You’re not crazy. I’m speechless.”

His lips met yours again, his tongue pushing its way past your lips, teasing you. You parted your mouth, welcoming his tongue inside, caressing yours, dancing along them in perfect harmony. It felt like nothing you had ever experienced before, every touch, every kiss, every movement meant something, each syllable spoken and breathed into your ear created memories to last forever. It was as if nothing existed outside of this moment right now, this connection between the two of you.

You broke the kiss and rested your forehead against his, breathing heavily.

“You’re too good to me.” You muttered. “How am I supposed to reciprocate this?”

“What do you mean?” Johnny cocked his eyebrow, clearly not understanding your question.

“I don’t deserve you.” You admitted, tears starting to form in your eyes. “Not after what happened. Not after how I left.”

“Y/N…” Johnny pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Please don’t cry. I can’t handle seeing you sad. Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” You cried as he held onto you tighter. "I should hate you for pushing me away. But I don't. I can't."

"I know I shouldn't have gotten mad." Johnny started. "For me to blame you was wrong. So fucking wrong. That was all me. I got jealous. I was insecure. I'm just a stupid man."

"Don't apologize." You sniffled. "Apologizing means you're admitting that you're at fault. You're not at fault, Johnny. This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault."

"Y/N…" Johnny sighed, wiping the tears from your cheeks. "I've always wanted to tell you this. That I love you. That I like you. That you have this effect on me. That whenever I'm around you, my entire world stops. That I could stare at you for hours without moving a muscle. That when you touch me, it's electrifying. That when you look at me, I can't help but fall in love. That I'm not a person, I'm a pile of melting ice cream when you look at me. That I become this jumbled mess when I think of you. When I think of us. You are everything. Everything to me."

"Me too, Johnny." You giggled as you kissed him again, you pushed him back on the couch so you could straddle his lap. You ran your hands through his messy locks, brushing his bangs out of his face. "When I think of you, I'm instantly happy. Everything else fades away. Nothing matters when I'm with you. My anxiety, my fears, my doubts, my insecurities… They all go away."

"And I need you, baby. So much. Like air." Johnny brought his hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb running along your jawline. "I don't want to be without you. I need you in my life, Y/N. I need you to fill that void in my heart. You're the only one for me."

"Johnny..." Your voice cracked as you tried to speak. Your heart was racing so fast, pounding so hard that you swore it would explode. Tears continued to fall from your eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, baby." He chuckled. "Do you see anyone else sitting here besides you?"

"There's no one else but you." You mumbled, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "Only you."

"Good. Because I'll never let you go." He murmured as his hand traveled down your stomach, towards your inner thighs.

You gasped loudly as he pressed a finger between your folds. "Oh god... Oh god, oh god, oh god."

"Ah, you like that?" Johnny teased as he lightly rubbed your clit with his middle finger. "Oh, you're so wet, Y/N. So hot."

"I need you. Now." You pleaded. "Right now, Johnny. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered against your ear.

You don’t when or how, but both of you were suddenly naked. Your legs were trembling uncontrollably as he slid two fingers inside you, causing you to moan. You weren't even close to reaching climax yet, he had to stop. You needed him to slow down, prolong the pleasure until you could no longer bear it. Until your body couldn't take any more. You moaned louder, making him smile seductively.

"I bet you like this." He murmured, spreading your pussy open. "Wanting it, craving it. Telling me that you need me, that you want me. Don't deny it. Let go, baby. Let me take control. You won't regret it."

You nodded silently, closing your eyes. You felt his lips brush against your neck, your breasts, your abdomen. He traced little hearts all across your body with his tongue. Each touch, each lick, each kiss had you gasping in pleasure. One more minute and you'd come undone, panting as you writhed against his hand. "Johnny, please..."

"That's it, baby. Come for me." Johnny whispered as he continued to rub your clit. "Come on. Cum for me. Let go. Give me everything."

It was torture. You knew that once you came, he'd stop. And you didn't want that. It was bad enough that he had put you in this situation, why did he have to ruin it by stopping? You reached down and grasped his wrist, pulling his fingers away from you. He didn't resist, merely watched as you quickly brought your lips to his hand, sucking on his fingers. You hummed as his fingers touched your tongue, tasting yourself, tasting him. You moved his fingers back to your sex, licking them clean before pushing them inside you.

"Ah fuck." Johnny groaned as he watched you do whatever you pleased with his fingers. "You're killing me, baby."

"Sorry." You hummed, kissing his fingers once more before replacing them inside you. "But I really want to cum. I need to cum."

"You're damn right you need to come." Johnny growled, bringing his other hand up to cup your breast. "You've been denied for far too long. Just thinking about it has me horny as hell."

He slowly pulled his fingers out of you, leaving you empty and unsatisfied. You whimpered as he placed his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suckle on them once more. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing your body flush against his. "God, I need to be inside you."

"Please." You panted.

"Where, baby?" Johnny questioned, his fingers tracing patterns across your stomach. "Should I go deep or shallow? Should I use my fingers or just shove my cock inside you?"

You shivered, his words making your body quiver with excitement. "Shove your cock in me, Johnny. Please."

He grinned, opening your legs wide, his erection bobbing in front of your face. "I'm going to fuck you so hard, Y/N." He whispered, lightly running his thumb over your nipple. "So very hard."

You grabbed onto his shoulders, clinging onto him as he positioned himself between your legs. He pressed forward, his length rubbing against your slit, causing you to squirm and moan.

"Yes, baby. So beautiful." Johnny mumbled, lowering himself so that the head of his cock brushed against your entrance. "I want to slide inside you so badly."

"Please." You whined, biting down on your lip as he pushed forward slightly. The head of his cock slipped inside you, stretching you gently. His shaft pushed against the walls of your vagina, forcing you to widen your legs slightly. You arched your back as he penetrated you deeper, sighing as he filled you completely. "Oh god... You're so big, Johnny."

"Damn, you feel amazing." Johnny groaned as he began to thrust inside you.

"Goddamn, you feel amazing." Johnny echoed as he continued to thrust in and out of you.

You clung onto his shoulders, rocking your hips back and forth, meeting his thrusts perfectly. Each thrust caused you to moan louder, your body begging for more. "Fuck, Johnny. Please fuck me harder. Harder, faster."

"Give me everything, baby." Johnny panted as he fucked you hard. "All of you. Cum for me."

You gave him everything. Every bit of yourself. Giving in to his demands, accepting his commands, doing whatever he asked of you. Doing anything he told you to. All because he made you feel so fucking amazing. As you exploded around him, your orgasm pulsating within your womb, you came apart in his arms, screaming his name over and over again.

“Fuck! Johnny!”

"Oh god, baby." Johnny whispered as he slowed his thrusts. "I've never felt anything like that before. I'm cumming."

You closed your eyes, enjoying the sensation. You wrapped your arms around his neck, locking your legs around his waist, grinding against him as he shot his load inside you. He collapsed against you, both of you catching your breath.

"Holy shit, that was intense." You laughed, kissing him on the lips. "I haven't cum like that in like a year."

"Fucking hell, Y/N." Johnny cursed, wiping sweat off his brow. "You took my breath away."

"You did that to me." You laughed, grinning as you snuggled into his chest. "Let's go to bed. My bedroom is right over there."

"Yeah." Johnny smiled. "Bed sounds great."

"So does being in your arms." You smiled as you leaned in to kiss him.

"It doesn't get much better than this, Y/N." Johnny said softly, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing on the bedside table next to you. Slowly getting up, you rubbed your eyes, the sunlight glaring through the curtains. You picked up your phone and looked at the screen, groaning when you saw Mark's name lighting up.

Pressing the green icon on your phone screen, you pressed the cellular device against your ear.

“Ugh, it’s so early, Mark. What do you want?” You muttered out, the blankets pooling around your waist. Your skin was sticky from the aftermath of whatever occurred during the previous night.

“Good morning to you too, sleeping beauty. Johnny over there?”

“Mmhmm. Why?” You let out, a muscular arm reaching out from the covers to squeeze your hip. You slapped his hand away, prompting him to peek his head out from the sheets to frown at you.

“He ain't answering his phone. Plus his mom keeps calling us.”

 “What did you tell her?”

“We said something about him meeting up with old friends and spending the night there or something.” You heard him mutter from the other side. There were groans from the distance and someone muttering about coffee, so you assumed the boys were all getting up from their sleep. “Just call his mom and let her know that you finally slept with her precious son.”

“Yah. Why do I have to be the one to tell his mom that we finally fucked?” You asked, looking at the man next to you, a mischievous smile on his face.

“Because you’re close to his parents. I mean your parents and his parents are friends right?”

“Yeah… But I don’t want to tell Johnny's mom that we had sex.” You groaned out, Johnny chuckling softly next to you. “It’s just so weird. Johnny's mom would probably tell my mom. And then my mom would probably tell me to lock Johnny down...”

“Well...not my problem! Have fun!”

“Yah! Mark Lee! Mark! He hung up.” You frowned when you noticed he disconnected the call. Shaking your head and leaving the warmth of your bed and Johnny's arms, you grabbed the closest towel you could find. You went to the other side of the bed and shook the muscular figure. “Johnny, stop pretending to be asleep. Go call your mom.”

“And tell my mom that we had wild, passionate sex?” Johnny grinned, suggestively raising one eyebrow.

“Nevermind. Don’t.” You shook your head. “I don’t want your mom to suddenly be treating me differently just because I took her son’s virginity.”

“I was not a virgin and you know it.” Johnny pouted. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been screaming my name so loudly last night.”

“I hate you Johnny Suh.” You replied back, your cheeks suddenly turning pink. You had to admit...he was good in bed.

“Mmhmm, I know. Are you going to shower?” Johnny muttered against the bedsheets, his eyes soft. You nodded. “Want me to join you?”

“If you did that, we’d never leave my apartment.” You chuckled as you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. You moved towards the bathroom and gave him a small smile. “Can you start the coffee while I grab the shower first?”

“Why don’t we just shower together?” Johnny muttered as he sat up in bed, scratching his bare chest. “It’ll save us time.”

“You make a good point…” You scrunch your nose and then shake your head. “But no. Knowing you, we’ll be doing other things than shower.”

“Damn. It was worth a try.” Johnny mumbled under his breath as you chuckled and retreated to the bathroom. Swinging his feet out of bed and shrugging on his jeans, he made his way towards the kitchen to start up the coffee maker. He looked towards the bathroom, noticing that the door was wide open. “How do you like your coffee!?”

“Black please!” You called out through the bathroom door, the sound of the shower running.

Johnny chuckled, walking away from the coffee maker as it continued brewing. He went into the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe, eyebrows raised as he made out your silhouette behind the shower curtains. “You sure you don’t want it sweet and creamy like me?”

“You’re so weird Johnny.” You peeked out from the curtains and made a face. You nodded towards the shower. “But since you were being such a cutie by making coffee, you might as well join me.”

“Score!” He called out, discarding whatever clothing he had on and joined you in the shower.

#nct #nct stories #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct smut #johnny #johnny suh #nct johnny #johnny x reader #johnny smut

[sailor-aviator]

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Five

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Five

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: Your best friend, Bob Floyd, had insisted you join him for the summer at his family's home along the Carolina coasts. You had been hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed to his request. Now, here you were in a new town with strange locals who spoke in hushed whispers and cryptic retellings about glistening scales, glowing eyes, and haunting songs that echoed from the sea. You didn't believe them at first, but when you wake up on the beach one morning after having fallen overboard the night before, you can't help but think that maybe you hadn't imagine the strong arms and deep, green eyes of the man that had saved you.

Trigger warnings: Language, Mean girl Mandy, Flirting, Alcohol, Siren call, Supernatural elements, Kind of suggestive/smutty but not really? idk

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: Alright, alright! The ball is starting to roll! We've got a lot going on now, I think. Can't wait to hear y'all's thoughts! Also, shoutout to @goldenseresinretriever for letting me bounce ideas off of her! You the real MVP!! If you're feeling kind/generous, please consider buying me a ko-fi! Also, if you DO NOT fill out the form below (Tag List) then you will not be tagged! I will be referring to that Google form from now on! As always, reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated! Asks/requests are always open! 18+ ONLY!! You can find me on AO3 under sailor_aviator where I also post my updates!

Series Masterlist || Jake "Hangman" Seresin Tag List

“I thought the bonfires happened the other night?” You asked Bob as the two of you made your way down the practically deserted streets. It was late, and the only people out were the young adults still looking to have a good time. The family friendly activities had ended hours ago, and now it was time for the partying to start.

“They were supposed to,” he said, eyes scanning the dimly lit street, “but they got postponed because of all the rain the other week. This was the only night that worked for most everyone around town.”

“That works out for us, I guess,” you hummed, hearing the sound of crashing waves grow closer as you neared the beach.

“Hey, thing one and thing two!”

The two of you turned around to see a grinning Bradley jogging up behind you, and you turned with a smile to greet him.

“Hey, Bradley!” You chirped. “We thought you’d already be down at the beach with everyone else.”

“I was, but I forgot my phone at the house,” he said, waving his phone in his hand. “So I ran back to grab it. Everyone else should already be down there, though.”

“We better get a move on before all the drinks are gone,” Bob mused, already moving once again. Bradley fell into step alongside you, bumping your shoulder with his.

“Feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, Skipper,” he joked, casting a smirk down at you. “You been avoiding me?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” you giggled.

Bradley scoffed, giving you an offended look that was made less serious by the grin on his face. “Me? Avoid you? Don’t be ridiculous. Who in their right mind would avoid a sweet, little thing like you?”

“You must not really know her then,” Bob snorted. “She practically cut my hand off when I went for the last fry at lunch today.”

“That was entirely your fault,” you huffed, sticking your tongue out at him. “You know how much I love french fries.”

“Yeah, enough to cause grievous bodily injuries, apparently,” he smirked. You scowled at him before looking back at Bradley who was also smirking at you.

“He’s being dramatic,” you offered with a shrug.

“Barely.”

“Like you’re one to talk,” you griped as the three of you walked down the stairs and onto the beach. You could see the glow from the various fires flicker in the night, groups of different people huddled around each one. “I have to set an alarm every morning to wake up before he does if I want any bacon.”

“Oh, trust me,” Bradley laughed, steering you towards a fire on the edge of the grouping, Bob in tow. “I grew up with him. I know how much bacon he puts away.”

“I am not that bad,” Bob huffed, earning identical dubious looks from both you and Bradley. You giggled when Bradley quirked his eyebrow at you.

“Sure you aren’t, Bob,” you laughed, earning a scowl from your best friend.

“You made it!”

The three of you turned to see Nat waving at you, the rest of the squad already settled in on the towels surrounding the small fire. You felt a shiver run up your spine as you made eye contact with a pair of mossy green ones. You looked away as your cheeks warmed, letting Bradley guide you across the fire and down on a group of towels, Bob on your other side.

“So,” said the brunette sitting next to Jake, blue eyes calculating as she took you in. She was just as beautiful as the last time you saw her. Tan skin glowed in the light from the fire, body lithe and athletic. She looked like she walked off the cover of a fashion magazine, and her narrowed gaze was trained on you, lips curled into waht appeared to be a permanent sneer. “You must be the tagalong I’ve heard so much about. Skipper was it?”

You shifted uncomfortably, glancing over at Bradley as he stiffened next to you, a glare fixed on his face as he looked at her.

“Yeah,” you said, offering an anxious smile as you looked back at her. “That’s what they call me anyway.”

“It’s cute,” she said, tone indicating that she most certainly did not find it cute. “I’m Mandy. You’ve probably heard of me from the others.”

“Oh, yeah,” you smiled. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I’m not surprised,” she continued with a smirk. “I’ve known everyone here since we were in diapers. We go way back, you know. Don’t feel bad if you end up feeling left out in our conversations, okay?”

You shifted again, this time knocking your knee into your bag. The shells you carried with you jostled, clinking together, and you blushed when everyone looked at you.

“What was that?” Mickey asked, peering over to get a better look. You lifted your bag as you began to pull each shell out and placing it carefully on the towel.

“Oh, these are the shells and things I’ve been finding everywhere!” You smiled, running your fingers over the conch. “Aren’t they amazing? I’ve never seen so many beautiful shells in my life! And they’re all perfectly in tact, can you believe it? It’s like someone just plucked them up off the ocean floor and set them out for me to find!”

“That’s quite a collection,” Nat chuckled, shooting a smirk off to the side. You followed her line of sight, and your eyes made direct contact with the mossy green ones from earlier. Jake looked at you with an expression that could only be described as awe as he took you in, eyes peering down to where you cradled the conch gently in your hands before looking back up at you. His eyes shone in the firelight, a hint of a smile on his lips as he looked at you. You felt another blush creep up your neck, and you leaned forward to place the conch closer to the fire for everyone to see. You heard a sharp intake of breath, and you looked up to see Mandy with a look of rage and shock on her face as she stared at you. You realized quickly she wasn’t staring at your face, but rather down at the base of your neck. Her eyes darted up to meet yours and her expression shifted quickly into one of cold contempt.

“You actually carry those around with you?” She sneered, scoffing out a laugh. “What are you? Five?”

You frowned up at her, suddenly feeling self conscious as you glanced around the group. Their smiles had shifted into looks of irritation as they glared at the brunette.

“Oh, I just-”

“I mean,” she sniffed, cutting you off, “I suppose it’s fitting for someone who looks like you though, right? You’re not exactly dressed to impress or anything.”

You looked down at your clothes, a frown on your face. You weren’t normally self conscious. Sure, you didn’t look like a model like Mandy, but you didn’t think you were hard on the eyes. You had dressed for comfort though, and it was plain to see in your jean shorts, tank top, and white button up. Mandy wore a pair of cutoffs and a tight fitting tank top that showed off her figure, and her makeup was immaculate. You hadn’t seen the point in putting any on. Should you have?

“Mandy,” Bob growled, glaring in a warning.

“Oh, I know she’s your friend and all, Bobby,” Mandy continued, a viscious smirk poised on her lips. “But let’s be honest. I mean, we’re among friends, right? And friends should be honest with each other. You’d be lucky if anyone gave you the time of day looking like that. Nevermind the silly, little shells you’re carrying around everywhere. You really should have left those back at the house, you know. And tell me you brought something nice to where for the ocean dance festival. Can you imagine if you wore some frumpy shorts to something like tha-”

“Shut up.”

All eyes turned to Jake who was glaring into the fire, eyes cold as the water that lapped the shore behind you. Mandy narrowed her eyes at him, rage clouding her features.

“Excuse me?” She spat, turning to face him. His gaze shifted to her, jaw clenching.

“Was I not clear enough?” He said evenly. “I said ‘shut up.’”

You hadn’t even realized that tears had gathered in your eyes until Bob laid a gentle hand on your shoudler causing you to jump. You looked over at him, sniffling as he gave you a concerned look. You wiped at the corner of your eyes, scrambling to your feet. You felt everyone’s eyes on you as you shifted from one foot to the other, avoiding their gazes.

“I’m, uh,” you gulped, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill over. “I’m gonna go get something to drink.”

“I’ll come with you,” Bradley said, moving to his feet and giving you a gentle smile. “I’m parched.”

You turned to Bob with a watery smile. “You want anything?”

He studied you for a second, eyes uncertain. You gave him a look that you hoped communicated your need to pretend like you were okay, and he pressed his lips together.

“Just a beer.”

“You got it!” You smiled, trying and failing to add your usual cheeriness to the statement. You gave a half smile that you were sure came off as more of a grimace as you made your way towards the line of coolers on the other side of the fires. Bradley followed you silently, and you kept your head down, feeling the tears start to stream down your cheeks.

You knew you were being silly. They were just words after all, and you were a grown woman. You shouldn’t be letting silly words get to you like this. But why did they hurt so bad? You knelt by one of the coolers, fishing out two beers and a coke. You handed one of the beers to Bradley, refusing to make eye contact with him as you pushed the lid to the cooler closed.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing onto your arm gently, pulling you so that you faced him.

You kept your head down, and Bradley let out a sigh.

“Listen,” he started, hesitating as if he were choosing his next words carefully. “You shouldn’t listen to Mandy, okay? She’s a stone cold bitch on the best of days, and, well, she’s never been told ‘no’ a day in her life. She’s always gotten what she wanted, when she wanted it.”

“What’s your point?” You muttered, glancing off to the side as you wrapped your arms around yourself. Bradley let out another sigh, taking his hand from your arm to run it through his hair.

“My point is that she’s taking her new experience with the word out on you, and it’s not fair. I know it’s hard, but just ignore her, okay? She’s just jealous.”

“Of me?” You scoffed, finally meeting his gaze. Bradley smirked down at you, casting you a wink.

“You’re pretty great, Skipper,” he hummed. “Anyone with eyes can see it. Now, come on. Let’s head back to the others, yeah?”

You nodded, and the two of you made your way back to the fire. As you approached, you noted that Jake was the only one still there, eyes trained on the flames in front of him, seemingly deep in thought. He jumped when Bradley plopped down next to him, leaving just enough room for you to slide in between them.

“Where’d the others go?” Bradley asked, twisting the top off his beer and taking a swig from the bottle. Jake grimaced, gesturing around towards the other fires.

“Take your pick.”

Bradley hummed, leaning back on the towel with his legs outstretched towards the fire. The three of you were silent for a moment, and you felt a tingling sensation on your left side. You turned to find Jake already looking at you, eyes soft as they took you in. Your breath caught in your throat, cheeks flushing. You thought you should have been been creeped out with how intensely he was staring at you, but you felt oddly comfortable under his gaze. In fact, you found yourelf sitting up a little straighter, almost preening under his gaze, and a small smile tugged on Jake’s lips as he took you in, eyes blazing as they reached your neck.

You jumped as Bradley suddenly leaned over in front of you, breaking the spell you found yourself under. A shit eating grin was etched onto his face as he looked at Jake.

“Did you know Skipper here always wanted to be a mermaid?”

You felt yourself begin to splutter as your cheeks warmed for a different reason, eyes growing wide as you peered between the two men. Bradley waggled his eyebrows as Jake’s own shot up on his forehead. A smirk graced his lips, giving him a devilish look to his already handsome features. He looked at you, smirk intensifying as he saw your flustered state. He leaned forward, smirk growing into a grin as you glanced away.

“Is that so?” He hummed, warm breath ghosting over your face.

“I will remind you that I was, like, five at the time,” you snapped, glaring at Bradley. He only chuckled, resting his chin on his hand as he smirked lazily up at you.

“I think you’d make a cute mermaid, don’t you agree, Jake?”

Jake nodded with another hum, eyes taking on a look you couldn’t place, but it made you squirm nonetheless.

“Just imagine her swimming around with all her little fishy sidekicks,” Bradley teased, eyes alight with mischief. You scoffed, turning to face him.

“As if,” you snarked, “my sidekick wouldn’t be a fish, it would be a stingray.”

Jake quirked an eyebrow. “Why a stingray?”

“Oh,” you blushed, your nerves kicking up again. “Because they’re my favorite.”

Jake nodded slowly, like he was trying to commit that fact to memory. Bradley snorted beside you, and the two of you looked over at where he was smirking, eyes peeking at Jake before looking back at you.

“How could I forget?” He drawled, taking another sip of his beer. “I met Rusty when you and I were snuggled in bed the other morning.”

“That’s not-”

You were cut off by a growl to your left. You turned to see Jake’s entire expression had changed. His jaw was clenched, eyes trained on Bradley as if he wanted to take his head off. His fists were clenched so tight, you wouldn’t be surprised if he was drawing blood from where his fingernails dug into his palms. He was almost too still as he glared at Bradley, the other man looking smug as he took in his friend’s appearance.

“Are you okay?” You asked the blond, and his eyes glanced over at you, gaze seeming to soften as he took in your concern.

“Bradshaw!” Reuben called from across the way. “Get your ass over here!”

Bradley heaved a sigh, rolling his eyes as he got to his feet. “And that’s my cue,” he muttered.

You watched as he strutted over to where Reuben and Mickey were gathered with a group of people you didn’t know, leaving you alone with Jake.

“He’s such an ass sometimes,” he muttered, shaking his head.

“Isn’t he one of your best friends?” You asked him with a giggle. Jake’s demeanor seemed to relax at the sound.

“Unfortunately,” he grumbled, casting another glare over at where Bradley stood chatting and laughing.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You frowned, noticing how tense he still seemed to be. He looked back at you, hesitating before letting out a sigh.

“Yeah, I guess I’m just feeling a little overheated or something,” he muttered, flexing his hands as he uncurled his fists. He moved to stand, and you followed suit.

“Think I’m going to go take a walk to cool off,” he mused, rolling his shoulders back. You frowned, rubbing a hand over your arm.

“Oh, okay,” you said, glancing at the ground, shifting your feet in the sand that covered the towel. Jake seemed to hesitate once more, chewing his bottom lip.

“Do you want to join me?” He asked you, his green eyes hopeful as you met his gaze. You felt a smile tug on your lips as you nodded.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you murmured, moving to grab your bag. You stopped when you noticed it was placed neatly on top of the towel you had been sitting on previously, shells already back inside.

“I, uh,” Jake stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. “I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t want anything to happen to them, so I put them back in your bag. I guess I should have asked first instead of just moving them. I’m sorry if I-”

“No,” you smiled, “it’s okay. Thank you.”

Jake gave you a nervous, tight lipped smile before nodding. “You can leave your bag here if you want. No one is going to take it.”

You returned his nod, gesturing for him to lead the way down the beach.

The two of you walked in silence for a few minutes, the ocean waves crashing off to your right, and the cool, night breeze ruffling your hair.

“Listen,” Jake started, stopping to turn to you, eyes earnest as they took you in. “I’m sorry about Mandy-”

“Oh, no, Jake,” you frowned, shaking your head. “You don’t have to apologize for her.”

“No, but I do,” he stated firmly, face serious as he looked at you. “It’s my fault she’s taking it out on you. She’s been so convinced that she and I are going to end up together, and now that she knows that’s not the case, she’s on the warpath.”

“Jake,” you sighed, “I understand feeling some kind of weird responsibility for her, but her actions are her own. You shouldn’t have to apologize on her behalf. She’s a big girl just like I am, right? We’re adults who are capable of making our own decisions and apologizing for the wrong we do. None of this is your fault.”

He didn’t look convinced, and you took his hand in yours to offer him some kind of reassurance. A bolt of electricity ran through you, causing you to let out a gasp, and a warmth rushed over you, causing you to squirm. You felt like a magnet, drawn to Jake in a way that you couldn’t even begin to understand. You wanted to feel more of him, to consume and be consumed by him. You had never felt anything like it in your life, and you looked up at him hazy eyes to find that he wasn’t any better off.

His own eyes had a haze to them, seeming to glow in the moonlight. His breathing came out labored, almost like he was fighting to maintain his composure. His eyes raked over you, a hand coming up to rest on your cheek, and you nuzzled into it without thinking.

“You’re so pretty,” he breathed, voice barely above a whisper as he inched closer to you.

“You’re just saying that,” you muttered, leaning into him.

“No,” he stated firmly, causing you to jump just a hair. His other hand came up to rest on your hip, pulling you closer so that you were practically molded against him.

“No,” he said again, gentler this time. “I mean it. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

If it were possible, you were sure your skin would have heated up even more than it already was. As it stood, a pleasant warmth spread through you at his proximity, and the hand that was cradling your cheek slowly drifted down until it brushed the mark on your neck. You let out a wanton cry at the shock of pleasure that jolted through you at the simple touch, and Jake smirked down at you, stroking softly over the mark again and again as he drew more pleasured cries from you.

“It’s okay,” he cooed, leaning his forehead against yours, nuzzling his nose against the tip of yours. “I’ve got you.”

You couldn’t find it in you to feel embarrassed at the intense amount of pleasure you felt at the simplest of touches, too focused on the way his hands felt on you. You raised your own, one hand cradling his cheek as the other ran through his golden hair. He let out a groan as you tugged gently on the soft strands, and you couldn’t help the small smirk that spread across your face. Jake’s eyes met yours, the green of them so intense that it took your breath away. He glanced down at your lips, slowly leaning in-

“Jacob Seresin!”

You gasped, grasping at your ears at the almost inhuman shriek that pierced the night air. Jake pulled back, placing you almost protectively behind him. You peered around him to see Mandy glaring at him, blue eyes practically glowing with rage. Her gaze turned to you, and you shrank back slightly, hiding behind Jake a little more. This only served to make Mandy even more irate, and she snarled as she stomped closer to the two of you.

Jake bristled, standing taller as he continued to block you from Mandy’s warpath.

“How dare you,” she spat at him, lips pulled back into a sneer. “You’re mine.”

“No,” Jake growled, “I’m not.”

You shifted behind him, moving out from behind him slowly, and the pair turned to look at you. You gave them a sheepish smile, as you inched around Mandy, hands up in a form of surrender.

“I’m just going to head back so you two can talk in private,” you murmured. Jake looked like he wanted to argue, but Mandy’s glare had you moving before he could say anything.

You wrapped your arms around yourself as you walked back towards the bonfires, already missing Jake’s touch. You had never felt anything so intense in your entire life, and you wondered what had come over you to make you act so brazenly. You weren’t one for hookups, but you weren’t even sure that’s what that was going to be. He had held you so gently, like you might break or run away at any moment. You had been so ready to give him every part of you in that moment. You knew you should have been worried at that thought, but a large part of you thought that it felt right, that you should give yourself to him. The more you thought about it, the more you found yourself wanting to turn around and go back to him.

You were about halfway back down the beach when it started. It was quiet at first, distant. But then it grew louder, and you found yourself slowing to a stop, turning towards the crashing waves to your left.

The song was beautiful, melancholic. It was unlike the one you had heard before, this one sounding more animal like than human, but you still found yourself drawn to it. It called to you, begging you to listen, and you did, feeling the sound drift through your mind and pulling you in. You weren’t sure when you started walking, but you felt the sand shift beneath your feet as you slowly made your way towards the water. The fires faded from your sight, the churning waves beckoning to you like gentle hands that promised refuge. The song grew louder, all consuming, blocking everything else out but the need to answer. You felt the wind whip your hair around you, the cold sting kissing your cheeks as the crashing waves grew louder, the song more desperate. The sand beneath your feet grew cold as you ventured into a spot where the water met the shoreline. You’re almost there, the song called to you. You felt a relieved smile tug on your lips at the thought of finally reaching your goal and answering the song. You felt the water come just up to your toes before retreating back. You closed your eyes in anticipation. Just one more step.

You let out a cry as you were yanked away from the water, a strong hand on your upper arm. Your arms reached for the water, your mind still foggy as a loud, keening cry sounded from the water before disappearing entirely. You whirled around to see Javy staring at you with an intense worry, Nat just behind him, worry clear on her face.

“Wha-” you mumbled, pressing a hand to the side of your head as it began to pound. “What happened? Javy?”

“Hey, Skipper,” he murmured gently, pulling you closer, away from the water. “We’ve been calling you for a while now. You okay?”

“I…” you trailed off, glancing between him and the water. “I’m not sure.”

“How about we get you some water, yeah?” Nat suggested, wrapping her arms around you as she led you back to the bonfires. You nodded slowly.

“Yeah,” you muttered, glancing back at the ocean. “Yeah, okay.”

Tag List: @jakeseresinlover @haley-hotchner @queerqueenlynn @dempy @fanficfandomlove @aworldwideapart @stoptaking-the-good-names @maximus890 @sky2nd @devil-angel-winchester @hopip99 @hookslove1592 @lemmons1998 @yuckosworld @uniquedreamlandcheesecake @imamomof8 @pietrothemovie @kmc1989 @mamachasesmayhem @hangmansgbaby @imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog @deliriousfangirl61 @hangmandruigandmav @na-ta-sh-aa @witchybabel @keyrani @i-wanna-be-your-muse @buckysteveloki-me @clancycucumber230 @dreamlandcreations @emotionallysalty @fandom-life-12 @a-girl-who-loves-disney @nouis-bum @topherwrites @squeaky-bumblbee22 @hangmansgbaby @goldenseresinretriever @bobgasm @linkpk88 @number-0-iz @xl-pr @stillreadingfantasy @shibble @horseshoegirl

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #top gun maverick #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x you #jake hangman seresin imagine #jake seresin fic #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin x you #hangman fanfiction #hangman x reader #top gun hangman #hangman imagine #hangman top gun #hangman seresin #hangman #mmats #meet me at the sea

[runningfrom2am]

CONGRATULATIONS ON 1K!!! I’d love to make a request from Venus. I’d like smth basses off the song, ‘daddy issues’ - the neighbourhood, with rafe x rougtledge! Reader. Smth a lil angst 😊 hopefully this is okay! And congrats on 1K again 🫶

ahh thank you!! this one was so fun but also heartbreaking- i am very conflicted so thank you for submitting this :)

daddy issues (r.c)

pairing: rafe x routledge!reader

wc: 860

requests! (currently closed, but send stuff in if you’re okay with waiting a while!)

masterlists, navigation, 1k celebration!

"what are you thinking about?" you asked rafe, feet swinging over the edge of the dock.

"whatever you're thinking about." he replied, a slight smirk on his face as he leaned back on his palms, his ankle brushing against yours over the water.

you giggled, taking another hit from the joint pinched between your thumb and forefinger. "i doubt that."

"why?"

"you don't know what i'm thinking about, that's why." 

"then tell me, i'll probably forget anyway." rafe nudged your shoulder gently with his own.

"okay," you muse, nodding a little as you passed him the joint. "i'm thinking about my dad."

he nodded as he took it, willing you to continue.

"and my brother. he's not handling it well."

"isn't your uncle still staying with you?" 

you turned on the dock and looked back to your house. "do you see any lights on in there?" you asked rhetorically, gesturing for him to look for himself.

"where did he go?" rafe asked, furrowing his brow.

"he's working out of state, said i could handle things well enough on my own..." you sighed, chewing on your lip as your eyes suddenly welled up with tears you were fighting back. "but i haven't seen john b in days, he won't talk to me when he is home and i just-" you cut yourself off, taking a shaky breath.

"hey, hey- you're alright..." rafe was quick to reassure you, extinguishing the joint before reaching up to wipe a tear from your cheek with his thumb. "have i ever told you you're so pretty when you cry?"

you laughed a little at this, quickly wiping your face as well. "no, but that's creepy." you giggled, moving to lean your head on his shoulder anyway.

"you know, if you were my little girl," rafe said then, resting his head against yours as you looked out over the water. "i wouldn't have left you behind. i would run away and hide with you, or whatever your dad is up to now, i guess, but it would still be us."

"thanks." you sniffled, wiping your face on the bunched-up sleeve of your sweater. "but you're really not doing much to beat the creep allegations."

rafe laughed, squeezing your side. "you know i'm not. better than anyone."

“matching daddy issues.” you sing, laughing as he kissed your temple.

“that’s why we get each other.”

"no, no! don't touch me!" you shouted, shoving your boyfriend away as he tried to grab your arms. "did you know?"

"know? know what? what's going on?" rafe asked, brow furrowed. you look him over, he seems genuinely confused. but that can't be true.

"that ward killed my dad! did you know?" you clarify, and he straightened up, shaking his head.

"no... no, no... my dad didn't kill anyone." he insisted.

you scoffed, shaking your head with eyes red as tears fell down your cheeks. "john b told me everything. he told me- he told me ward tried to kill him out in the middle of nowhere, the same way he killed our dad. over what, some stupid gold that you would only spend on buying what? another vacation home?"

"my dad wouldn't do that, baby, john b must be lashing out, like you said he-"

"no!" you cut him off with a shout. "no. you don't know him like i do. don't act like you do."

rafe stood frozen, staring at you with worry as your chest heaved with anger. "y/n, i don't want to fight with you, lets just go talk to john b and we'll clear this up."

it surprised him when you laughed, full of bitterness as you shook your head. "no! no. you clearly aren't listening. goodbye, rafe. tell ward to lock the doors tonight." you say, storming off. you made it to your car before your anger turned to shaking sobs, and you left quickly to go resume your journey of trying to track down your little brother again after what happened.

rafe didn't cry that night, but that pain was nothing compared to the tears he's shed tonight. he never got the chance to make it right before you took the boat with john b and his sister out into the storm. he's sure you were driving it, and he's sure you made them both put on lifejackets. you wouldn't have let them go alone, and now, he lost both you and his sister in one night. he's lost everything.

"rafe. get it together." ward says, grabbing him by the shoulder. "be a man. we've got stuff to deal with tomorrow." at that, he releases his grip on his son and pats him, pacing up the stairs toward his office.

rafe rubs his red-rimmed eyes, biting his nails as he stares into the darkness surrounding him in the foyer. alone, with his daddy issues and what is left of yours now that you are gone.

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie, @slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron, @urfaveluvr, @chenslucy, @hxnnah-397, @s-we-e-t-t-ea, @tahliac11, @saccharinesammie, @ietss, @maybankslover @redhead1180, @suzyheartsrafe, @wpdailyminimeta, @aegons-bitch, @rafegirly, @thelomlisrafecameron, @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles, @flonkertn, @whtvrrafe, @r1vrsefx, @sandyworms, @urmooniee, @frxcless, @ari-nicole, @kitscutie, @lovelyxtom, @niicole-87, @dylanstilinskiposts 

join my taglist here!

#rafe cameron #obx fanfic #rafe obx #rafe fic #rafe fanfiction #obx #rafe angst #outer banks rafe #rafe x you #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #rafe cameron x reader #rafe headcanons #rafe outer banks #raye's 1k celly #1k celebration !! #raye’s 1k celly #1000 followers !!

[stardew-requests]

Can I get headcanons for the Bachelors and a pregnant farmer? ((Or a link to a post that you've made about the same thing that I really feel like you've made that I still can't remember))

Nothing makes my heart happier than the Stardew bachelors as dads! Thanks for the request Anon!

This one's long post! I put it under the cut!

Alex: In some regard, he still views himself as a teenager, so upon learning that the farmer was pregnant he had a moment of panic. Okay, it was more than just a moment. "What are we going to do? My grandma's going to be so disappointed!" He'd say, pacing back a forth. The farmer would just shake their head. "Alex, we're married. I don't think it'll be much of a scandal". It took some time to really register that he was going to be a father, but when it finally clicked a few weeks in, he begins to get excited. He takes initiative on prepping the nursery and goes above and beyond with helping on the farm. At his core, he's determined to be that father he never had; the one that every kid deserves.

Elliott: He is extremely attentive, almost excessively. Every need, every craving, every appointment or exam, he's there without hesitation. The farmer never has to doubt whether or not he'll be there, because he was fully involved from the moment they told him they were expecting. It had always been a dream of his to be a father, and it had finally come to fruition. So he was there for every moment of the pregnancy, good and bad. And the moment he held that baby for the first time? No painting or song or any piece of art was ever as beautiful as that moment.

Harvey: Being a doctor, Harvey was completely ready, medically speaking. However, no amount of medical school or field work could've prepared him for the intense emotions that overcame him the moment he found out he was going to be a father. Pure joy flooded over him, but also crippling worry. What if he panicked during the delivery? What if something went wrong? How could he live with himself if something did go wrong and he wasn't able to help? The farmer, while worried to a lesser degree, became the rock he needed to be both an attentive doctor and a caring husband. And, of course, he excelled at both. 

Sam: Poor Sam didn't see this one coming. The pregnancy was a surprise, and the farmer was overjoyed, but Sam had no idea how to react at first. Of course he was ecstatic; he'd often daydream of being a father. Taking care of Vincent all those years had given him a real paternal touch. But he was also nervous. What would his mom say? Would his dad be disappointed in him? Would he grow apart from his friends? The situation took some getting used to, but after he overcame the initial shock he let the excitement take over. He went to every single checkup with the farmer and bought LOADS of baby things to prepare the nursery. And you believe he absolutely spoils that baby. 

Sebastian: In his younger years, Sebastian fully believed he never wanted to be a father. He didn't think he was cut out for it. But after meeting the farmer, the idea began to grow on him. He liked the idea of being a stay-at-home dad on the farm. So when the farmer told him the news, he immediately knew he was ready to fall right into the role. Not having his own dad around (and the coldness he received from Demetrius all his life) made him dead-set on being the most attentive and loving man he could be. For both the baby and the farmer.

Shane: Shane had convinced himself that he'd never get that chance to be a father, with the exception of Jas of course, and he'd come to terms with that long ago. It was only after recovery and the blooming relationship with the farmer that he dared to imagine the possibility of a child of his own. When the time came that the farmer told him of their pregnancy, they were worried that he wouldn't react well. Though he'd come a long way in his recovery, he was still fragile. But the farmer wouldn't have guessed that he'd bury his head in his hands and become choked up. "Shane?" They'd ask carefully, worried he was going to break down. But he just shakes his head, looks up at the farmer, and says "I'm so happy".

#stardew valley #stardew valley bachelors #sdv bachelors #sdv #sdv alex #sdv elliott #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv alex x farmer #sdv elliot x farmer #sdv harvey x farmer #sdv sam x farmer #sdv sebastian x farmer #sdv shane x farmer #sdv ask blog #sdv x farmer #stardew valley ask blog #stardew valley headcanons #sdv headcanon requests

[brokenstar28]

Incorrect Bat-Family Quotes

Bruce: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

~~~

Jason: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

~~~

Tim, sleep deprived: There are three chairs and five kids. What do you do?

Dick: Get two more chairs.

Bruce: Cut each chair in half to make six.

Damian: Make them fight for a chair.

Jason: Get rid of two kids.

Babs: Just make two of the kids stand.

Bruce: ...That makes more sense.

~~~

Dick: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Tim, sleep deprived: That's deep.

Damian: That means that ketchup is a smoothie.

Tim, still sleep deprived: That's deeper.

Jason: ...You guys are idiots.

~~~

Damian: So I got this amazing plan!

Tim: We fail almost every time you say that.

Damian: Well this is the same! But with a hamster involved.

~~~

Jason: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth

~~~

Damian: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something.

Bruce: *laughs* Book recommendation? I can’t read!

~~~

Jason: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or under-cooked.

Dick: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?

Jason: Result, the food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

Tim: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!

Damian: ...put it away.

~~~

Jason: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.

Damian: But you do know better. Somehow.

~~~

Tim: I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the water in my body is gone and I die from dehydration.

Jason: Are you okay?

Damian: Did you actually just ask him that? Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know?

~~~

Tim: Just took a personality test and got an A+.

~~~

Dick: Just one more! And then maybe another one.

~~~

Jason: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have?

Tim, has not slept all mouth: Doritos cool ranch.

Jason: ...

Jason: I'm just gonna assume zero for now.

(It's the 14th of April) Tim: I love that song.

~~~

Bruce: Hey Jason, do you have any hobbies?

Jason: Swimming...

Bruce: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to-

Jason: In a pool of self hatred and regret.

#bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #dick grayson #nightwing #damian wayne #robin #barbara gordon #oracle #batfam shenanigans #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect bat-fam quotes #sleep deprived tim drake

[c4qwp]

leon kennedy x fem!reader

| a mistake he made that he cannot erase.

📎 tags : angst, female reader, you’re the other woman, ada mentioned, no use of (y/n), cheating, leon being a bitch (whoops)

📎 author’s note : this story is really short, s’gonna have 2 chaperd ig, i cried like a bitch whereas i love angst so thihihi i love it :3

prologue

prologue — a lana song — chapter one

in the beginning, your life together was like a fairy tale. you were deeply in love, sharing dreams and aspirations. every day was filled with excitement, laughter, and new adventures. you would surprise each other with thoughtful gestures and spend hours talking about your hopes and plans for the future. it seemed like nothing could ever break their bond.

as time went on, however, their perfect life began to settle into a comfortable routine. you fell into predictable patterns and became accustomed to the stability you two had created. the once-thrilling surprises became rare, and your conversations became more focused on mundane tasks and responsibilities.

at first, you didn't notice the subtle changes. you two were both busy with your jobs and work, and the routine provided a sense of stability amidst the chaos of life. but as the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, a sense of dissatisfaction started to creep into your relationship.

your once-passionate love life became less passionate, as intimacy became more routine and predictable. you started to spend less quality time together, getting lost in your individual pursuits. the dreams and aspirations you once shared began to fade, replaced by a sense of complacency.

he was really busy with his work. he had a mission in spain to save the president's wife. which was something very important and stressful.

he never sent you a single message. maybe it was because he was busy or something else...if it was the case. you called him once at 2AM because you were very worried. he did not answer. you called again and miraculously it picked up! you were about to start your sentence with the words you had kept inside you for days saying you were worried sick; when suddenly you heard a...growl? from a animal, right? yeah that's what you guessed since it would be weird if it was something else —

a kiss?

why did you hear a kiss?

'i knew you hadn't changed, pretty boy.'

a woman. a woman voice.

'say no if you don't want it.'

you heard the sound of a kiss. again. it doesn't stop. fuck

your boyfriend was cheating on you. the shock and betrayal cut deep, shattering the trust you had placed in him. you were crying on the phone silently but you finally hung up.

he saw his screen on and saw the call interface in the middle of a call disappear. you heard everything.

he tried to call you back. once. twice. three times. it stays on your answering machine.

you didn't have the courage to see him face to face. his handsome face to discuss all this. you didn't want to cry in front of him. suffer even more. you wrote him 3 letters telling him everything you had in your heart and left your apartment.

3 letters from you

and

1 letter from him

['read them but don't send

me an answer.']

['i don't deserve you. you don't have to forgive me, but please let me talk to you.']

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy fanfiction #leon scott kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x fem reader #resident evil #resident evil 4 #angst #resident evil x reader #ada wong

[delightfulcollectivetyphoon]

is it just me or does this pic radiate MAJOR predator/prey vibes? like he's just rawdoggin your soul. just me? okay

anyways, smutty thoughts below the cut

tw: loud concert, mentions of anxiety, mentions of wolves, mentions of smut, cuss words, kinda daddy issues?, fluffy angst (or angsty fluff)

a/n: so um yeah I meant for this to be like 10 sentences and I wrote a goddamn novel oopsies. and this ain't even the full thing.

You were sitting on the balcony all the way to the right of the entrance, at one of the smallest gigs you'd ever seen Metallica play. Wolf and Man was pounding into your ears, your senses blurring from the thrill of it all. You were watching Robert and Kirk run circles around each other, and you smiled at how silly these old men could be, like they were being kids again. You felt eyes burning into the side of your head and just 100 feet away was James, staring you down in a fierce manner. He didn't break eye contact as his tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, he was hypnotizing. Your smile fell slowly as your lips parted, lost in his sultry glare. One of the spotlights fell on him so perfectly; you could see every beautiful outline and shadow of this masterfully sculpted man; his sweat covering his skin with a thin sheen. The massive screen behind the band was focused on him, and you saw up close how his eyes were clouded with something more than lust, a wolfish need, like he wanted to tear you apart, make you squeal, savor every inch of your skin. Something you had dreamed of ever since walking through the venue door and saw him in his vest and tank top. He smirked at you as he played the last few notes of the song and brought his tank to his mouth to wipe the sweat off his upper lip, the drops glittering his silver hair no more. The crowd screamed and clapped as the men gave their thank-yous and till-next-times.

-----------------------Backstage, a half hour later------------------------

The bag and ticket checks were brutal, and you started to wonder if this was a bad idea. Meeting Metallica seemed like a good idea in retrospect, yes, but now your anxiety was getting the best of you. Your palms were sweaty, your heart was racing, and your mouth was dry as the Sahara. The bottle of water sitting in your bag suddenly came back to mind as you snatched it from its pocket and tried to take off the cap. Your hand was shaking, making it difficult. You finally managed to get it off and sipped it for the next few minutes. Jesus Christ, was meeting 4 60-year-old men this fucking stressful? Some quick self-reflection brought you the idea that meeting Rob, Kirk, and Lars was exhilarating, but not stress-inducing. Meeting James was your main problem. It wasn't really a problem, he was just your favorite of the band, whether for his look or his playing, you didn't know, but you had chalked it up to a fair 50/50. This was a problem you were excited to have. Some parts of you were more excited than others, but you pushed that thought to the very recesses of your brain. If you had the scenario of screwing a man old enough to be your dad in the back of your head, it would definitely make its way into your conversation, which was more or less bound to get you a weird look and a premature "it was nice meeting you!" But God, his stare made you anxious in all the right ways and you just couldn't stop thinking of him staring into your soul as he chased you down, captured you, and made you his. You snapped out of your little thought bubble as you neared the platform. James was shaking the hand of a middle-aged man, someone you guessed was a father because of the 5-ish-year-old girl standing at his feet, holding onto the bottom of her father's shirt. James squatted down so he could be eye-level with the girl, and you instantly knew that he looked differently at others. He had reserved that stare just for you. Your brain ran rampant with the possibility that he might actually just want you, and that he wasn't generally so domineering and intense, but just when he saw you. In fact, his eyes returned to what you thought a 60-year-old's should look like, soft and sweet, teddy-bear-ish. He shook her tiny hand, and she shook it back and moved in for a hug. You couldn't blame her; he looked like just about the most huggable person there. He laughed as he closed her arms around her, telling the dad that it was okay after he tried to apologize and pull her away.

"Be good for your dad, okay," he asked, almost commanded as he straightened her jacket, ruffled from the embrace. He gave her one last smile as she nodded and walked off with her dad. The attendant ushered you forward as James picked up his water and took a sip at the same time you did. When he tilted his head back down, he saw you staring at his battle vest, or more importantly the tank top covering his chest and tummy. God, his tummy was hotter from up close. He caught you staring, and your faced burned with embarrassment.

"You like it?"

Your breath caught in your throat at his raspy tone.

"What?"

He laughed and set the bottle down on the table behind him. He gestured you to the chairs and table set up on the platform, probably decades-old wood that squeaked when you settled into it.

"My jacket, you like it? Saw you starin' at it, figured it interested you."

He was subtly fucking with you, letting you know he had caught you staring at his tummy, imagining it colliding with your back as he drove deeper and deeper into you, owning you. He had known that you were awe-struck by the idea ever since he saw you staring back during Wolf and Man. He had all the confirmation he needed.

"Oh, yeah, it's an awesome vest! I have one like it, just not as many patches. It's also a little less worn; I just bought it and started adding stuff about a week ago, actually."

He smiled and leaned back. The angle allowed his tank top to stretch tighter across his stomach; allowed his vest to cling to his shoulders, accentuating how broad he was. You involuntarily inhaled through your nose like it was the last sniff of oxygen you'd ever get. You'd tried your best not to gasp, that would for sure get his attention. He smirked.

"I know you're not here to talk about vests. I can tell something's on your mind. C'mon I have 3 kids, I can tell when something's wrong by poorly masked facial expressions," he joked, and you softened, comforted by his willingness to peer into your thoughts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thanks for reading, this is my first ever fic! i think i did fairly well, but feedback is appreciated! should i do a part 2?

#predator/prey #papa het #metallica #james hetfield #metallica fanfiction #metallica x reader #james hetfield x reader

[dotster001]

Yo! I really enjoy your writting style and was wondering if you do songfics? I didn't see anything in the pinned post but if you don't you can just delete this

If you do, could I request a azul ashengrotto x reader (gn if possible) based on Study Me by Zutomayo? (https://youtu.be/Atvsg_zogxo), i just think that it would be fun for the reader to try and get their feelings across whilst it either flies over azuls head or he just thinks that the reader is pulling a prank on him

Terribly sorry if this request is too guided, i got really exited

Study Me

A/N: hope this is what you wanted, lol, I get especially nervous about song fics, cause it's such a "I know what I want" kind of thing

3k followers masterlist

Azul stared at you, expressionless. Then his lips split in a grin. A grin that sent shivers down your spine.

In these moments when I’m brimming with highly defined painful emotions Saying ‘there’s nothing I can do’ is embarrassing

"Or maybe it was one of his little friends. Either way, I'll find them whether you tell me or not. So this is your last chance."

"Rielle put you up to this, didn't he?"

"Who-" you started, but were cut off by his mirthless laugh.

"I'm so confused, do you not accept my feelings?"

He stared at you, the fury rising in his aura. You were more frightened than worried about your confession.

"I'll say this once. Stop wasting my time."

Ah~ It’s fine, put on your airs as you (you loner) are You punk punk, status quo maintaining immortal

You rushed out, bumping into Jade with a half hearted apology, before running down the hall.

"Don't you think you were too hard on them? Y/N seemed genuine?" Jade asked Azul, seeming genuinely distressed that things had not gone as expected.

"No one could ever love me," Azul smirked. "Find out who put them up to this. Make them pay."

You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling. It all still hadn't sunk in yet. That he'd laughed in your face. That he'd yelled at you. That he'd outright rejected the deep feelings of love that had, you had thought, been mutually building.

This funky feeling will continue to change today’s song so that’s why I took the plunge

Guess you were wrong.

Your phone buzzed, Jade's name coming up. You let it ring, staring at the ceiling. When it finished that round of buzzing, it started buzzing again, this time Floyd's name popping up on the screen.

You sighed, shutting down your phone, and shutting your eyes, trying to drown out the crushing approach of realization.

Your eyes filled with tears, and you took a heaving breath.

But now I just wanna cry, make a plan for this reference book of emotions I’ve gathered

All this time, you'd truly thought…you'd truly believed …

You thought back to all the lingering glances you'd shared, all the moments you two stood closer than you needed to, the times when Azul initiated a touch or a conversation, and the two of you had hesitated to end it.

Had you truly misread the situation so hard? Was he using you?

Study me, figure me out

Azul was angrily drafting contracts. He'd get them. He'd get whoever had taken your fragile peace, and crushed it. How could he have been so blind? How could he have let you slip through?

"Azul," Floyd whined, waiting on the phone for what had to be the tenth call he had made to you. "Shrimpy really likes you? Why can't you see that?"

The pen in Azul's hand snapped.

"So you put them up to this? I thought you were my friend!" He snarled.

"Shrimpy-"

"You see me as some pathetic, clumsy octopus, just like everyone else!"

"Azul-"

"Get out!"

With a flick of his pen, Floyd floated out of the vip room, landing on his ass as the door slammed shut.

He angrily huffed, and moved to bang on the door, but froze in his step as he heard a shuddering sob from within.

"He's just scared. Please. Talk to him."

What should I do today? I can’t look back without being optimistic, it’d be dangerous

Jade and Floyd had broken into Ramshackle. They were sitting at the foot of your bed, reiterating the tale you'd heard time and again.

You were well aware of Azul's past. But you thought…

I want to stay healthy, at least

You had hoped…

Maybe you could have been enough.

In the end though I’ve managed to raise these emotions

And I’m staying humble about it all, I don’t wanna be poisoned by them

"Why should I try again?" You asked, bitterly. "So he can laugh in my face, again? So he can break my heart again?"

"Honestly? So I can go back into the dorm," Floyd pouted, quickly followed by Jade elbowing him in the side.

You turned on your stomach, burying your face in your pillow.

"Y/N. He loves you. If you try again-"

You groaned, turned back over, and kicked at Jade.

"Shrimpy, until you try again, I'm moving in," Floyd growled.

You kicked at him again, but this only made him laugh.

"You have plenty of empty rooms, roomie! It'll be fun! Confess to Azul~"

He skipped out of the room, seemingly to choose his room. Now it was Jade's turn to sigh.

Azul tried to focus on running the restaurant. Now that they were down a Floyd. But everyone around him was on edge. He couldn't say why for sure-

I put my memories of yesteryear through the wash but as usual In this cold season they’re still not dry In this season of false bravery they’re still not dry.

"Alanno! If you drop one more glass you're fired!"

Yeah. It was a big mystery. Consequently, he had to work twice as hard. So he had time to think.

To think about you.

You're laugh.

Your smile.

The way you always sought him out.

The way you snuggled against him when he helped you with homework.

Had he.…had he been wrong?

No. That's what you wanted, wasn't it? He thought as he snapped at Miles, who was going to comfort his stressed boyfriend.

Wasn't it?

Study me, figure me out

Wasn't it?!?!?!

He dropped his own tray of glasses. Making Miles and Alanno have to fight very hard not to snicker at him.

I hope that the weakness that keeps you thinking of me Is still hurting you, even just a little

He stared at the shards of glass on the floor, before slowly kneeling down.

You would have been comforting him right now. You would have told him to go to his room, while you cleaned his mess. You would have brought him a mug of tea, then sat next to him and caressed his hair.

And I hope that you even start to find them inevitable And be just as soaked in these emotions as me

You might as well have been dating already, with the way you both interacted on a daily basis.

I hope that the strength that keeps you thinking of me Is still troubling you, even just a little

You were probably just playing the long game.

But as he stared at the floor, he realized even if you were pretending…

He would be willing to play along forever.

Study me, figure me out

"Ask him. Ask him. Ask him. Ask him."

Floyd was the worst roommate ever.

But if his tactic was to get you to ask out Azul, again…it was working.

He wasn't just annoying you. He was telling stories. Stories of childhood Azul. Stories of present Azul. Stories of Azul before you. Stories of Azul with you.

Sevens, you love that man…

"Ask him. Ask him. Ask hi-" he cut himself off with your half hearted glare. He grinned, mildly sinisterly, before singing out, "Yes!"

You took a heavy breath, and knocked on the door of the vip room.

I’m choosing the uncertain Cause today’s song will keep changing

"Enter."

You square your shoulders, and push the door open.

He looked up, and his face was immediately beet red, eyes flickering back down to his desk.

"Prefect." He greeted.

"Azul." You said, cooly taking a seat. "I want to make a deal."

His eyes widened, quickly flickering back up to meet yours.

"Oh?"

"There's something I want."

He stiffened, but summoned a golden contract anyway, beginning to write.

"And what, pray tell, would that be?"

"Not what, but who."

The pen snapped. He slowly pulled out a second one.

"Mhmm."

"The problem is, I confessed to him before, and he doesn't love me back. So you'll have to use a love potion."

He froze, and gently set the pen down. He looked up at you, eyes tearing up.

"You don't need one. He already returns your feelings. He's just a stupid idiot sometimes."

You smiled, softly.

"I can work with that."

Isn’t that amazing for both of us?

That’s all i can ask now

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul x reader #twst azul