#i havent written in forever forgive me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghouljams · 17 days

Note

im not super caught up on ur cowboy au (i LOVE goose n ghost, the dynamic of simon being with price's kid who ACTS like she's prices kid tickles my brain so well) and i dont want to come across as rude... but why is bee with konig lmao. ive been reading the recent discourse and if she's a DA survivor, what draws her to him? what could he possibly do to make her forgive and move on from him being such a piece of shit to goose and making such an ass of himself? like, if he calls a woman a whore and a dog because he was butthurt about getting his ass kicked by someone he doesnt respect just bc she's a woman and small, then why would bee think highly of him or even feel SAFE around him? i really don't mean to be rude about this lmao i just wanna pick your brain

as an abuse victim, even after YEARS of 'calm' and 'changes of ways', i would never be able to completely get rid of the lingering fear after seeing something like that. i can't imagine bee wasn't scared of konig in that moment

and as someone from a small town, making an ass of yourself like that will never be forgiven nor forgotten lol. konig will forever be remembered as the lumbering instigator that fucked around and found out, and if bee stayed with him, that reputation would get stuck to her too

again, i dont know bee's character super well (and i support womens rights and wrongs; she can be flawed and choose to look past things other people won't ignore to stay with someone she cares about) but i just wanna know your author thoughts lol these are your boobahs and i like to hear the thoughts. ill have time later today to read through your posts more too, i havent dug into bee's mostly bc i don't care for konig, but if they're all getting interlinked like this id like more context. just a heads up i might come back later and be like "AND ANOTHER THING-" or whatever lol

thank u hugs kisses i like ur cowboy stories :) <3

GREAT QUESTIONS

So I will say that in the overall context of the cowboy au I will be slotting Goose fighting König into the realm of "very dubiously canon" because you're right, there's no way Bee would trust him again after this.

I'm going to attempt to answer all your questions, but please bear with me because I can get long winded.

So to start off I will say that while Bee's backstory has been hinted at, it's never been officially written down. In my mind, the abuse she suffered at the hands of her (now dead) ex husband was mostly mental and emotional, I think if there was physical abuse that was her last straw that she had to get out.

Bee's relationship with König is interesting because I think in her mind, he is a sort of savior figure. He's always been there when she needed him, he never pressured her into anything, he was always kind and respectful, etc. König is big and scary, but he truly has always treated Bee incredibly well, and despite his *ahem* unorthodox methods has always had her best interest at heart. Bee is also VERY recently divorced, and he took EVERYTHING. König has been her rock since she moved to town and she's sort of imprinted on him to a certain extent.

For König... I have talked before about how I think he views women, but I will condense it into how I think he views Goose specifically before/after/during their fight. König has only met Goose once before in written canon and she pulled a gun on him immediately. It's not that Goose is a woman, it's that she is associated with Ghost. That is what I would consider the bottom line in König's thinking. If Goose was just some random woman in town he wouldn't care but she specifically occupies the space of "enemy combatant" because she's with Ghost.

I will say also König already has a reputation as a weird freak in town. People don't really care for him, but now he's also the guy that Goose beat up. So... not great for him. Bee on the other hand is fairly well liked. She's sort of clueless but she's well meaning and generally willing to learn or correct her mistakes. Like I said this fight fic is pretty dubiously canon I don't think it will actually effect the story the way it would irl, but those are Bee/König's standings in town.

As for whether Bee would take König back after watching him go after someone Bee sees as smaller and weaker than him(though König sees Goose as just another enemy to be taken down, women or not)... I don't know. That's why I say this fic is really dubiously canon, because you're right I don't see her taking him back after this. I think this would be the end of it, and I really love the love story I've crafted for the two of them. So it's a big old shrug from me boss. IDK

I think a genuine apology from König to Goose would help a lot. I think König sitting down and explaining his past to Bee would also help. If there was some added context, that it's a long standing beef between himself and Ghost and he made a bad judgement call, then that would be good for getting on the road to healing. Bee would also have to sit down and explain her feelings to König, all in all it would have to be a complete open communication between them, likely with a therapist moderating. But I don't want to write that because I genuinely don't think I would be able to do it justice.

Bee's story is one of my favorites, it's her fairy tale ending, it's her rebuilding her life and finding love despite her trepidation. It's a story of self healing and love, and I don't want to sabotage it with a fight.

#ghoul speaks #if you don't like König I have heard from other König haters that mine is palatable

30 notes · View notes

mccloudyyy · 2 months

Text

OK SO I HAVENT WATCHED MHA IN FOREVER but I wish Deku was the one who started crushing on Ururaka first

So I'm not up-to-date with any of the newer stuff so forgive me if any of my info is wrong! From what I remember Ururaka liked Deku first. I think Deku ends up crushing on her later (correct me if I'm wrong tho)

But personally I like the idea of Deku having to balance his hero life and his normal life. I would have loved to see him struggle with his crush and realize that "hey I've gotta focus on being a hero"

Now ik that is what kinda happens with Ururaka during the whole provisional hero license exam arc (although it's not well written) but tbh I just don't see her getting distracted from her goals as easily as she did. She has been motivated to be a hero ever since she was a child and you're telling me that some crush is making her less focused?? She wants to become a hero to give her parents a easier life and she wants to be a help heros as well. AND A SIMPLE CRUSH DISTRACTS HER??? LIKE THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AT ALL

While I don't think Deku would get super distracted by a crush, I feel like he would realize that he needs to think realistically. We are always shown the negatives of being a hero and I would love to see how being a hero affects their personal lives and Deku would be a good place to start with that! Like having him crush on her but realizing that during the provisional license exam arc that rn he can't focus on romance and stuff like that. So then he grows and Ururaka grows and they both develop into good characters 😎

23 notes · View notes

bxngthedoldrums · 1 year

Text

a petekey reading of so much (for) stardust

aka you knew i'd do this aka i didnt take four literature classes in college for nothing aka make sure your tinfoil hat is SECURED to your noggin aka dear lord forgive me for committing sins of petekey in the year of 2023

look. i have to do this or i don't deserve this blog. amen

~ love from the other side

okay. yea, immediately the "you were the sunshine of my lifetime" thing is sort of sus, because we all know pete wentz and anytime sun or summer is involved it's Something. this is solidified in "summer falling through our fingers again" in verse 2, but it's interesting that he uses "ours" in this lyric bc i feel like recently most of pete's summer lyrics have been pretty self-inflicted. it's impossible to not note the whole "inscribed like stone and faded by the rain" in the bridge v. "the tombstones were waiting" line in bang the doldrums. i shant even elaborate u can pick up what i'm laying down!

~ heartbreak feels so good

i think this song is pretty light on petekey imagery but "light from a screen of messages unsent" kinda reminds me of "some nights it gets so bad i almost pick up the phone" in ginasfs but i could be reaching for Sure. let's be real that's all i do

~ hold me like a grudge

honestly i think this is one of the worst petekey offenders on the album. this one had me gawking at my screen as i read the lyrics. "thaw out my freezer burn feelings for twenty summers" ??? be SERIOUS pete... "part-time soulmate, full-time problem" yeah I GET IT I GET IT !!! the whole thing reeks of 2005 summertime fling

~ fake out

"do you laugh about me whenever i leave?" bonkers ass line,,this reminds me of pete's lj writing in those years after 2005,,,"my mood board is just pictures of you, but i'm not sad anymore" YEAH. this is SO pete holy fuck. that classic wentz obsession,,"we did for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never gonna change" this line's got me on the fuckin FLOOR. also classic pete!!! his perchance for nostalgia is just insane and he really feels it huh

~ heaven, iowa

i dont even know how to get into this one. "kiss my cheek, baby, please/would you read my eulogy?" SICK and TWISTED evil!!! evil!!! "i will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me" jesus h christ the melancholy is off the charts but holy fuck this song is so,,,tender? i dont know wht to say but i know this was written w summer of love intention. i know this in my heart. "scar-crossed lovers, forever" OKAY I KNOW !!! this song is DEVASTATING verse 2 is fucked UP and the bridge is too!!! "closed my eyes inside your darkness and found your glow"???? i cantr og on

~ so good right now

i can't really discern any particularly petekey lyrics in this one right away but the whole "i cut myself down to be whatever you need me to be" is pretty fucking wild

~ i am my own muse

there's some really sad lyrics in this one ab the whole future-not-going-as-planned thing that comes up so frequently in pete's writing but honestly the whole "let's twist the knife again, twist the knife again like we did last summer" thing made my head explode. every lover's got a lil dagger in their hands!!!

~ flu game

im not gonna sit here and type out ths whole fucking song but oh my GOD bro. this song to me is a really nice callback to pete's older style of lyricism but that comes with the self-deprecation and all the other really sad shit. it's beautiful! it's horrible! i love it!!! its about mikey i cant even pul out a few lyrics just LISTEN

~ baby annihilation

another fucked up one that literally anyone else in fob should have vetoed but OKAY?? "time is luck and i wish ours overlapped more or for longer" MAN SHUT UP. "self sabotage at best, under your spell/but you know what they say, if you want a job done right, you gotta do it yourself" ..........dude. if you're like me and you've poured over pete's oooold lj posts from the mid 2000s you already get it, but if you havent,,,go do it and get back to me bc this is TOO MUHC im unwell. "what is there between us if not a little annihilation?" i think i hauve covid

~ the kintsugi kid (ten years)

this song is really fucking sad actually. there's so much fear of being forgotten on this album and it's showcased really beautifully in this song,,,mayhaps not the most obviously petekey song but god damn

~ what a time to be alive

this song's about covid and quarantine n it's pretty easy on the whole suffering from a fling in 2005 thing! good job pete and fob

~ so much (for) stardust

this song is kinda suspicious but there's very few lines that really solidify it as a petekey song,,, altho "i think i've been going through it, and ive been putting your name through it" is a really interesting lyric. and OF COURSE, "in another life, you were my babe/in another life, you were the sunshine of my lifetime" happy xmas war is over

#petekey #had to do it to em #man what the FUCK goes on

109 notes · View notes

collinnmckinley · 1 year

Note

(TW: discussion of kink)

Man that was uh...wtf was that anon.

I think when it comes down to the bottom line regardless of how anyone feels about what your saying (I agree with you) you allowed to say your opinion.

I'm a firm believer of 'dont like don't read' and that you shouldn't comment negatively on someones work unless they ask for it. For fanfiction online is supposed to be simply shared. You haven't tagged (from what I've seen) anything in any of the x reader tags, you haven't gone on to other people's posts and complained, you havent blazed anything, you haven't named/shamed any blogs by name. None of what your saying is truly oppressive or bigotry. You have simply vented in the safety of your own posts. For someone to get mad about that? They have no real right. It's not fair. It's so entitled, if you can't vent here then where can you?

In terms of your argument, as someone who is more into kinks, even enjoying the odd CNC piece, I believe your totally right in what you say and the way your feeling is so reasonable.

The COD fandom wouldn't last a day in the real world. What fustrates me with all this fanficiton is not only is it out of character but everything's written and encouraging bad BDSM behaviour. Like NO ONE does BDSM like this.

There's no discussion of boundaries, theres no aftercare description, there's no love and care in these fics. BDSM is supposed to be a performance, it's ultimately light hearted and supposed to be enjoyable to both parties. It's playing around with your partner because that's what sex is supposed to be, fun.

The shit these people right is so obviously not right. It's directly the shit you see in high production porn, something that is always made to look good. Not to feel good. This stuff is all just normalised toxic and unhealthy relationships. What concerns me is with the forever younger generations, if this is the normality then what will they be like in an actual relationship? It effects their every day interactions too! Blatenly calling people daddy / mommy in mid day- that whole 'mommy- sorry- mommy- sorry...' tiktok trend is a perfect example of it. That shits embarrassing! It's uncomfortable and removes the whole part of 'concent' in the entirety of kink.

Forgive me that I go a little off topic but I firmly believe that this behaviour is part of a bigger picture. It shows the fandom interactions that dictate day to day life. The way that people talk to the actors, interact with the actors and voice actors in the game shows how fucked up this all is. There's no line between fan and artist. When it came to fanfiction in history there's always been that line. The shame, fear even, that always kept fandom seperate. Sure sometimes people would say what pairing or sexuality to the creator but nothing like we have today. For them to literally have to turn off chat because of what people are saying in a live stream is terrible! And I think it is directly linked to how normal and casual people online have become about these sort of things.

In terms of wanting to be degraded and CNC the entire thing is supposed to fantasy created in a safe environment. Sometimes it's not exactly something that someone can explain why, or go into the whole situation of mixing pain / pleasure. Yet people have lost that integral piece of the puzzle. It's fustrating and you don't have sex like that every single time?? They treat the most hardcore shit as your average Tuesday missing the preparation and communication that goes on.

To be honest, I'm probably one of the writers in the r6s that you dislike, I can't say I believe that I write either COD or R6S fully in character, even so, I can't imagie looking at COD characters and reducing them to this lack of safety careless playthings. People look a Price and, well, you can never tell someone sexual preferences but, they look at him and are like 'ah yes this man would have no regards to ones sexual safety' like ?????

When hes about to torture the butcher he makes is to clear for not only Gaz's boundaries but for Nik's aswell. No strings attached, their word is final and it's something I really appreciated as a player as well.

This man is constantly in danger having to deal with violence and torture and then people exspect him to come home and do what? The same thing on his partner? I can't imagine it, I genuinely don't think this man could stomach hurting his partner even in a safe BDSM way. It's the same with all these men in the military, why would they want to bring that home?

I'm not into König but I have played as him on the odd occasion in game and you can sort of get a feel for his personality. The shit people write about him is so incredibly out of character even with how little is defined by him. This man is the most nerdy character in the game. He so gives off the vibes that he's a massive gremlin with his voice lines and people look at that and are like 'ah yes he would treat me bad' Pardon me? He would have a fucking mental breakdown if he hurt his s/o.

Even Graves, the bastard he is, wouldn't do any of this shit. Sure he betrayed 141 but you can still tell he cares about his team, one of the things that makes him and the shadows such a compelling and enjoyable antagonist, is that he feels so human and realistic. When he starts to lose it and shout at them in Las Almas, you can tell he regrets it. You can tell in his voice that he's trying to keep it together and stay as that fun casual commander thing he has going on.

Admittedly I've used him for plot before but the people who hardcore simp for this man, how could you look at someone like that and thing he would rule the bedroom with an iron fist? The man who gets his employees to say 'yup-yup' instead of affirmative.

As someone who does write and does strive to make people as in character as possible, (admittedly with varing results) I just don't understand how people can go so far fetched. Whenever I've been given an prompt or whatever I'm constantly looking at intrections and lore that back up characters. A lot of stuff so many characters just wouldn't do. Daddy kink is the bane of my existence. Not because I don't enjoy it but because people assign it to everyone and in all honesty? Ive literally never met a man who's into it. Same with mommy.

In terms of characters across all the games I've played I think there's like maybe one character who I genuinely thought might be into it and that was Pagan Min from Farcry 4. Maybe Damon Salvatore from the Vampire Diaries.

Yeah you can never tell someones sexual preferences or what they do in the bedroom but you can at least try. Have lore or reasoning to back up your reasoning. Not this cluster fuck of general unhealthy, unrealistic glorified BDSM. It baffles me that people think that these characters would be even remotely comfortable with some of the stuff people wrote them to do.

What's the point of simping over a character if you're not actually wanting to be with the character?

At the bottom line, tiktok (and modern internet in general (it wasn't this bad until tiktok but it has been getting worse over the years)) has shown a bunch of adolescent people pictures of the COD characters. With the easy access and desensitization of kink this has created the effect we have today. I don't actually think any of the people who write this shit actually care about the characters. Their playing with the characters like dolls. A name and a face to an oc personality they have created in their head. Or even just taking tropes of people and applying them.

Your fustration is responsible and the way your expressing it is responsible aswell. This is your space. Your not hurting anyone, in fact your ability to recognise and create commentary on today's fandom scene is a positive rather than a negative.

Welp, there it is. You read it again. I dont think I actually need to say anything or reply to it. Everything has already been said in this ask can actually convey what I have been trying to say the past two days, what we have been trying to discuss the past two days. detailed and well put like a thread. I'm gonna tag COD so people can actually read and educate themselves about this matter and that it should not be taken lightly.

#jay answers #anonymous #call of duty #cod #i dont know why people are so stubborn on trying to be so right about this matter #just take the L and move on

42 notes · View notes

bigbumder96 · 1 month

Text

account introduction thing!!!??

ngl i feel a bit goofy doing this🙁forgive me if this is weird, im used to getting attacked on tiktok for literally nothing (i rarely use tumblr)

general:

name: darcie

age: im a minor😭

gender: girl (she/her :3 )

sexuality: lesbian

from/live in: england

interests:

tv shows:

- the inbetweeners

- white gold

- station 19 (still have to catch up on the latest episode lmao

- 9-1-1 (also still have to catch up one episode😭)

- fresh meat

- ted lasso

- heartbreak high (not that anyone asked but ant is my fav im praying they explore his character a bit more in season three)

- friday night dinner

- this country

- call the midwife

- ackley bridge

- baby reindeer (i wouldnt exactly call it an interest, but i watched this show last week😭)

- phoenix rise

- moment of eighteen (a k-drama btw!!)

- move to heaven (also a k-drama!!)

- there she goes

- benidorm

- skins (only gen 2 tho im afraid😞)

- the inBESTigators (dont judge lmfao😭😭😭)

- little lunch (i cant theyre js both such good shows)

- dodo (a cartoon)

- taskmaster (only season eight tho for the icon joe thomas‼️)

im currently watching derry girls and jamie johnson atm !!

films:

- the shawshank redemption

- the green mile

- goodbye charlie bright (my absolute fav omg)

- the business

- the football factory (theyre making the sequel to this at my school im so happy i love nick love films😍i didnt see nick love himself tho💔)

- good will hunting

- bohemian rhapsody

- dead mans shoes

- ferris buellers day off

- harry brown

- little miss sunshine

- the inbetweeners movie

- the inbetweeners 2

- white chicks

- the basketball diaries

- mid90s

- spiderman: into the spider-verse

- spiderman: across the spider-verse

music:

- alex g (fav song: too many to put here, but if i had to pick then prolly the whole race, trick, and rules album😭)

- tv girl (fav song: better in the dark, louise, and daughter of a cop)

- the fratellis (fav song: i honestly dk, i havent gotten that much into them yet😣i js listened to one of their albums and played fifa)

- the killers (fav song: read my mind and andy youre a star)

- the smiths (fav song: girl afraid, bigmouth strikes again, and this night has opened my eyes. guys i swr i liked them songs before they got popular im acc rly annoyed at the tiktofication of bigmouth strikes again and this night has opened my eyes😣)

- queen (fav song: spread your wings and long away)

- the stone roses (fav song: i wanna be adored and made of stone. basic i know😣😣)

- the jam (fav song: down in the tube station at midnight and man in the corner shop)

- oasis (live forever. icba to type ‘fav song’ anymore😭)

- mac the knife (here to stay)

- mitski (why didnt you stop me, goodbye my danish sweetheart, me and my husband, your best american girl, once more to see you, etcetera…)

extras:

- im into football and i am a big arsenal fan !!!! my fav player is def martin ødegaard, and i may or may not be one of those deluded emile smith-rowe fans who think that hes gonna have a huge comeback and be like he was two seasons ago🤫🤫🤫

- i like webtoons! my fav is jacksons diary, closely followed by crystal city killers😱

- in year seven my drama teacher made us watch a play (on the screen, not irl) called slowtime but we didnt get to finish it💔my teacher spoiled the ending but i didnt care and tracked down the rest of that video bcs slowtime is such a good play i love everything abt it😍

- last year i was obsessed with this book series called football academy (written by tom palmer) and it was genuinely so good but there was nobody myp age cuz it was for kids💔i dont rly read them anymore, but the interest is still there if someone by chance has read them please contact me and have a conversation with me about it🙏🙏🙏

i apologise as this was very long, and i probably wont even post that much😭 sorry for the yapping tho🙏🙏🙏

#introduction!#what else do i put here #erm anyways #brighton imagine how funny ut would be if u played like REALLY good and beat man city lmao #like just inagine how funny that would be

5 notes · View notes

trainingdummyrabbit · 1 year

Note

Simple question . ☕️ for egbert from stuck at home ….. need to know how people feel about this boy

oh??? you are asking me, former tumbler user ghosty-tricksters about mr egbert stuckathome, jonathan egbret stuckathome??? you ask me ???? lil ol me?????

okay. disclaimer that i havent read th source material in fucking forever. for obvious reasons, its fucking stuckathome webcomic. however. he is my favorite character. so he comes back and haunts me once in a blue moon. [long inhale] so i have 3 cosplays i learned to sew to make of him, and a shirt with his symbol on it that i wear practically on the daily. i like him a normal amount.

so listen. im absolutely Enamored with the way hes written. how hes just... some fucking guy out here, doing his best. but if i were to completely analyze him, we'd be here for hours, and i dont want to do that to anybody. so instead ill just talk about what he Means, what he Stands for.

the fact that hes so... "normal." is so important to me. especially in a cast of characters who are complete freaks (affectionate). to see him just... bring up the people close to him, just so genuinely close to so much of the cast... he's so important to all of his friends, and that means SO much to all of them. he's a dork. he's the best of all of us. he's so normal. he's dumb. he's the leader, of course, obviously he is.

and then... he's fucking heartbreaking. to see in real time exactly where those little cracks appear and grow in him is so fucking heartbreaking, seeing how he reacts to it, how he doesn't. his sadness is a quiet one. its nigh silent-- hell, he seems like he barely even cares when the worst strikes a lot of the time! but he does. he does so much. and he's so frustrated.

there's something about some kid going through the end of the world, losing everything, everything, even if it looks like it gets put back. it never does. it's all different, it all changes, it's all replaced. he'll never have it back. he doesn't even know who he'd be if it didn't happen. the thought that he could be anything other than just... floating through it all, somehow making it through, somehow somehow somehow, somehow he's alive.

and... then it's just over. the world, everything is breaking apart around you, then suddenly... it isnt. what do you do then? who are you then? you can't go back to normal. you never could. your whole life was dedicated to avoiding some tragedy or another-- the fact that there just isnt anymore just... of course it wouldn't sit right! the way he handles his emotions, how he handles going through actual tragedy, is fascinating for such a "normal" character. how he projects his emotions on other things, how unsatisfied with how he is despite his friends' insistence that yeah, of course john's the best of us. how he doesn't even realize he's doing it.

something about losing everything, having it replaced but its just not the same, putting your everything into the One Thing everyone tells you that you do well... and then losing that too. something about it, man.

i will never forgive the epilogues by the way

#pikasks #pikramble #ask game #hs #and i COULD keep going.#but my hands are cold and i have more paragraphs to write.#did you know i used to go by john also. just thought that was an interesting tidbit. did you kn

3 notes · View notes

aaronthomasvybez · 7 months

Text

"Song for Someone"

Written by: Aaron Thomas Glesenkamp

Photo by: Aaron Thomas Glesenkamp

Written to: "Song for No One" by: Lowercase Noises

Written on 11/12/2023 at 6:30AM and finished at 6:59AM

Written in 30 +/- minutes

Looking up at the moon and I'm wondering if you're looking up at the same thing

Call me Old Fashioned

But like that moment in Phiphel Goes West

Wondering if you're looking at it too

I would think it's classic,

And you'd probably say,

"Telling people you know what that movie is, is probably something you shouldn't do."

Shining without a ring

The moon

Like we're both looking at it

Wondering If you're on your way to me

Hoping you get here soon

To make my heart reverberate

To reiterate the colors of the world

You should know you do that for me

Palpable

Make not only me

But also this thing in my chest, sing

Surrounded by family

And I'm so lucky

But wanting you to be a part of it

So we can be lucky together

No stress

Only enveloped and engulfed in love and passion

Because whenever I've been with you I've only ever felt blessed

Remember that time eight years ago when I lied my head on your chest

You were drinking

But I remember and wish I could nightly Resound the beat of your heart,

The blissful solitude I found in your every breath

Because you looked down at me and said "I love you."

A moment in time that, for me, that will never be lost and go on forever and last

For me that was serenity at it's best

I'll never forget

Looking back I would have done so many things different

And never have done anything behind closed doors, because loosing you from my life after all this time has been my biggest regret

And I'll never regret anything more

Because there's not been a day that's gone by, that you havent been on my mind

Every single day in some type of way

Of eight years time

Everytime I hear a fast car

Eat cheap wings

Or a Nissan Z drives by

And I'm sitting here thinking it all has to be for something

Blaming myself for everything

Why did I have to go and run away my best friend

Why am I so good at damage production rather than, control

Because tears are falling as fast as I write these words

One at a time, because I miss you so much

And like the Notebook

I want to work on it every day, I want you so badly to be back in my life

Wish I didn't have to go and fuck it all up.

Why?

And even if you do want to, if I truly love you I have to accept it.

I just wish I could know how you're doing or what you're doing.

If you're okay inside, and if you're alright.

Hoping and praying you can forgive me

And let you know that you are and all ways will be loved

Because loosing you has been the biggest regret and mistake I've made in my life

I love you

I hope, pray, will, and wish God crosses our paths serendipitously

So I could see your beautiful face

Even, if for me, it's only one more

To just know you're okay,

To know outside and in

That you're alright

Regardless if you want to be or not

I'll all ways consider you one of the greatest loves of my life

If ever you're not okay

Know, I love you

All you have to do is look up at the moon

Trust I'm looking too

Hope that brings you back

Knowing you were or are someone's

Breath of life

I'll never forget

And will just have to learn to be happy remenicing, when I lied my head on your chest that night

Love of My Life

#writer #artwork #singersongwriter #poet #art #love #poetry #artist #music #rapper

1 note · View note

kristiliqua · 8 months

Text

i have been constantly thinking about the damn taz au recently im so ill man

i want to talk about it . so bad . like aaaaaaaa i have some specific bits that i really love but dont wanna spoil at all but RHRHRRRRHHGH FUCK !!!!! i just .,, taz!tallulah . thats it . thats all im saying . i love her :(

also i originally made scott smajor be leon the gachapon guy , but i am now making him be badboyhalo . because Fuck scott smajor ^_^ i am not having a weirdo like him in my au lmao (also bbh is just perf for leon)

also man oh man half the fun for this au for me is simply coming up with chapter titles . ive made it a thing where they have to be srs and rhyme with another bit (thatll go in the ch summary) and boyyy oh boy r they fun to hatch out :D i’ll give u all one just for fun — one that easily comes to mind is “trust or forsake, which will you take? (an eye, an ability, or a life at stake?)” :3 yippee (there are so many chapter titles on god . its a miracle that i actually enjoy coming up with them or else i’d be fucked LMFAO)

also taz!missa is a thing now too . a minor character , but he’s there . bc i said so :)) (taz!deathduo is real btw ur welcome)

man can you tell i really just wanna ramble and gush abt this au . bc i really just wanna ramble and gush abt this au ,,, i love it like it is my baby and i will cherish it forever

frowny face . i want to post Something for this au on ao3 already (i have so many snippets just written bc ,,, i had to let out the energy somehow) but i also dont wanna spoil shit before the actual fic so ????? i guess i’ll suffer . and or just rant abt it on here , el em ay oh

i havent even fully written anything thats for sure gonna be in the main fic (well maybe thats a lie . i have so many snippets that im sure one of them will be usable at some point) . i wrote chapter one (and two ?) a While back , but im def not using that lmfao

jusssst . sigh . i love this au sm and im So sorry to my qsmp followers who followed me for qsmp fanarts and ended up getting a ramble abt some au u dont know or care abt LMAOOO — just ignore this , smile .? or join/spectate my brainrot as i slowly lose my mind , idk

,, also . have i ever said that i made fantasy costco be ‘fantasy tescos’ instead ? bc i did , since in my eyes tescos is just the british version of costco ,,, even though i dont Really know what tescos is , or if its at all similar to costco (im american pls forgive me) but they sound similar so idc (,,, i havent even gone to costco either , actually . im just balling it out here fr)

oh yeah i was thinking abt making a pogtopia wilbur slash vilbur arc thing for taz!wilbur in a particularly long arc in the story (cough cough stolen century cough cough) too ,,,,, so that might be a thing . idk . maybe bro kinda loses it in those hundred years , bc fucking hell how r these mfs still sane after that /hj (its like he becomes apathetic as he sees all of it as meaningless and futile . bc these ppl and this world is gonna die anyway , so what purpose do morals or any kind of care serve ? theyll be gone in a year anyway , it rlly doesnt matter what happens to them before then [later , he Does snap out of it . maybe after a more emotional death hmm who knows] . plus paranoia with the whole impending doom thing el oh el couldnt be me) . methinks i’ll maybe write smth for this idea (smth that u all might never see lmao) . smiley face :))

anyways fuck it this is the end of this long ahh post . beeye

#mcyt taz au #mcyt taz au info #mcyt taz au spoilers #yada yada #if ur looking at tags for whatever reason - here have a little easter egg :D or smth #a joke i made recently for the au specifically bc i found it unreasonably funny #it kinda needs context to actually be funny but whatever here ya go #‘‘when you say ‘died’ what does that mean exactly ?’’ ‘‘it means Deceased culero ! that youve diddly-done died !’’#(and heres the actual funny part) ‘‘fucking—MUERTE motherfucker !!! what else could it mean ???’’#yeah thats it thats all ur getting . i just liked the ‘muerte motherfucker’ a little too much LMAO #guess who’s saying the dialogue challenge fr #n e way this is dumb n silly . have a good day slash night heart emoji

1 note · View note

drunkjaked · 2 years

Note

omg nah you're good!!! i havent written angst in a while too, so when i try to make something sad, my sister is like >_> this can be sadder... im just like ???? HOW!? LOL i'll still keep my hopes up because its sunghoon. just chuck him at me lolol jkjk

OMG YESSSS cologne is sooooo good! her songs are just so good to vibe with! tbh, everyone is so talented these days! how to be them 101 because all i do is fangirl T_T thats a talent, right? lolol

okay tbh i thought they were going to continue the hyphens, but then i lowkey got into the theory trope asdfghjkl i read blessed-cursed's lyrics and compared it to future perfect, and it sounds like they got away from whatever is holding them back. HOWEVER, jake saying "we will connect again" tells me that the hyphenation might come back...

Omds,,, there’s no one irl that knows I write, well they know I write but they don’t know what - so I’m happy you and your sister have a relationship where you can shRe w them !!!

Fangirling is a talent fs !!!

I mean off the top of my head I’m pretty sure they say like “wake up it’s a new day” and so I guess they were telling us to get over the hyphens bc something else is coming.. but I’m just sad (read: devastated) that we didn’t get Push-Pull. That was my favourite of my predictions and I’ll think about it forever 🙁

Oh man .. Foreshadow having narration was diabolical I’ll never forgive them 👎

#genie 🫥#saxophonist 💌🫀#sax play

0 notes

thebest-medicine · 5 years

Text

Leave it to Chance (Spin the Bottle)

A/N: I saw a prompt (x and x) about using spin the bottle like whoever spins it gets to tickle the person it lands on. I’ve also seen a game before of using dice, like if you have 2 dice one can correspond with the spot you get tickled and the other can correspond with how long you get tickled. Anyway, here’s some spn trash of that.

Words: 3,150

AO3 Link (x)

Characters: Charlie Bradbury, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Kevin Tran (non-shippy but you could interpret some sevin and destiel from this)

It was silly, they knew, a game decided upon by a group that had maybe one too many drinks to be thinking clearly in the first place. But here they were, their little makeshift family, enjoying the low light and calm feeling of the bunker. The walls surrounded by soil, keeping them and their secrets hidden. They were safe here. They were home.

Their little group gathered on the soft carpet within the library, a den of their own making. Charlie stood to collect dice that they would need to use. Dean sat between his brother and Cas. Cas made conversation with him, teasing Dean as he insisted that he’d played many a round of spin the bottle in high school, though admittedly never like this. Sam was smiling, laughing a bit as he chatted with Kevin, who tried his best to look comfortable despite being arguably the most sober and most jittery about what they were doing.

Charlie returned to complete their circle after she happily selected two non-identical dice to use for their game, one blue with white dots, and one white with yellow dots. Blue had to be the time, because blue was a sad color, she insisted. Yellow, the color of sunshine and happiness, would represent the location.

“Okay, so, lay it on me.” Dean asked Charlie, the unofficial officiant of the game. “How are we doing this?”

“Well, first, we need a bottle.” She started.

Dean’s hand shot up, an empty beer in hand. “Check!”

She took it and set it in the middle of the circle.

“Ok.” Charlie clapped once. “Everyone gets a turn to spin. Whoever spins, does the tickling. Whoever it lands on, gets tickled.” Charlie winked.

A collective blush overran a few faces among the circle, namely Kevin’s and Dean’s.

“Then!” Charlie cleared her throated dramatically. “The person who it landed on must roll The Dice Of Destiny!” She announced.

Castiel chuckled at her showmanship.

“Blue! Time! This shows how many minutes you’ll be tickled for. A one will bring you one minute, two for two, six for six, etc.” She explained.

“Simple enough.” Sam agreed.

“Yellow! Location! Now this one, this may make or break you.” Charlie ‘ooh’d and ‘ahh’d dramatically. She took another swig of her mojito. “This little die holds the power to show WHERE you will be tickled.” Charlie smirked as she continued. “A one, your feet. A two, your legs. A three, your stomach and sides. A four, your ribs. A five, under your arms. A six, your neck. Any questions?”

Kevin timidly raised a hand. “So, if we get something like... two fives... and we have to be t-tickled under our arms for 5 minutes.” He shuddered a moment at the thought. “Then, but, what if we can’t- what if we can’t keep our arms up?”

“The other members of the circle will do their part to help keep you in place for the duration of your tickles.” Charlie smiled.

“You mean hold you down.” Sam clarified with a wink.

“I do.” Charlie waggled her eyebrows.

Kevin nodded with a blush.

“Ok. Ready?”

Everyone gave a nod.

“Alright. I’ll go first?” Charlie began.

She took the bottle and placed it in the middle. Everyone’s eyes watched it like a hawk as she spun.

Around and around it went, the tipsy eyes of the circle unable to be drawn away as the anticipation built. Finally, the bottle settled, pointing directly at Sam.

“Fuck.” He chuckled. “Alright give me the dice.”

Sam held them in his hands a moment, pretending to say a little prayer.

Everyone watched almost as intently as Sam as the dice were released onto the carpet. A two for time. A six for location.

Charlie grinned the widest of them all, patting her lap expectantly. “C’mere Sam, rest your head in my lap.” She sing-songed.

Sam grumbled but obliged, laying across the circle and putting his head face up between Charlie’s knees.

“Timer?” Charlie asked.

“Got it.” Dean supplied, holding up his phone.

Sam was stuck between closing his eyes and watching to see when Charlie would strike, which left his eyes opening and closing every few seconds. “Okay just, get it over with.” He pleaded.

Charlie was happy to.

Sam scrunched with eyes shut, his lips pursing tightly to hold in his giggles as Charlie’s nails scribbled beneath his ears and around his neck. She got just under his chin and her fingers make quick work of his defenses.

Sam’s giggles poured out slowly at first, then all at once.

“T-Time?” Sam begged.

“Oh, man. I was so wrapped up in that girly little giggle you had going on that I forgot to start it.” Dean grinned.

“Fuck you.” Sam hissed.

“Should we start it again at 2?” Dean suggested.

“No!” Sam insisted.

“Yeah I think it’s been about 2 minutes, gotta save some time for the rest of you guys.” Charlie smirked.

Dean couldn’t help but look disappointed while Sam stuck his tongue out at him, going back to his seat.

“Alright Kev, your turn!” Charlie passed him the bottle.

Kevin sighed in relief, knowing that he couldn’t be the victim here. He spun the bottle, and it landed on Charlie.

“Oh man... alright!” Charlie chuckled as she grabbed the dice, making a show of shaking them up and rolling them.

Three for time. One for location.

“Oh no! Not my feet!” Charlie whined.

“Rules are rules.” Cas chimed in.

“Fine...” Charlie grumbled as she untied her shoes and slipped them off along with her socks. “Go easy on me, Kevvy.”

Kevin smirked at her as she begrudgingly placed her feet in his lap.

“Sam, you’re in charge of timing this. Remember I was fair to you.” Charlie noted.

“Okay.” Sam laughed. “Don’t worry.”

“Great. Okay, well. I’m ready.” Charlie gulped dramatically.

Kevin pulled back her toes and started slowly wiggling his fingers under them, just at the top of the ball of her foot, like Gabriel had done to him so many times before. He knew it would drive her crazy.

Charlie squirmed and gasped, a stream of giggles coming out of her mouth.

He slowly picked up the pace, wiggling and scribbling his nails over the ball of her right foot. After about a minute, he switched to her left. Charlie shrieked when a new foot was tormented.

For the last minute, Kevin decided upon a grand finale of viciously wigging his fingers over both of her feet. Charlie tried her best to stay in place but kept squirming away, leading to Dean jumping in to hold her legs down.

The timer ran out just as Charlie ran out of breath. “Whew! That was crazy. You’ve got some mad skills, Kev.”

“Must be that he’s learning since he gets tortured all the time.” Dean interjected.

Kevin blushed.

“Okay. Sam’s turn!”

Sam took the bottle, rolling it a moment in his hands to get a feel for it. He set it in the center of the circle, adjusting it a few times before he finally settled on the exact middle.

“Oh my god just do it already!” Dean complained.

“Shut up and drink your beer.” Sam laughed.

Dean rolled his eyes, but took a swig anyway.

Spin. Spin. Spin. And it slowed to a stop just at Dean.

“Shit.” Dean groaned. “I hate you. You did that on purpose.”

Sam laughed, “How could I?”

“I don’t know you... physics. Mr. Stanford.” Dean grumbled.

“Sure. Take the dice. This one’s all you.” Sam handed him the set of blue and yellow.

Dean shook them vigorously before dropping them to the carpeted floor. Five for time, five for location. He stared at them in horror. “No fair that’s the longest time so far.”

“You’re only the third one to go.” Cas responded.

“Whatever.” Dean huffed.

“I doubt you’ll be able to keep your arms up, you’re too fucking ticklish.” Sam laughed.

Dean blushed, hoping others blamed it on the alcohol. He opened his mouth to retort.

“I’ll help with that.” Cas suggested.

“So.... who times, Kev? Charlie?” Sam asked.

“Kevin, could you? I wanna have my full focus on Dean’s face while he laughs his head off.” Charlie grinned.

Dean blushed more.

“Can do.” Kevin replied.

Charlie slurped down another gulp of her mojito before inching closer to Dean, who laid down hesitantly.

“Okay, give me your arms.” Cas ordered.

Dean could barely muster the will to lift his arms over his head when all his brain could say was ‘oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck fuck you sam’.

Sam smiled with glee as he brought his hands down toward Dean’s arms. He hovered just about the armpits.

“Ready Kevin? Count me down.” Sam asked.

“Ok, three.... two... one!” Kevin announced, clicking the timer to start.

Dean arched his back and turned his head, trying to bury it into his arm while Sam tickled wickedly under his arms.

“NahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHA FUCKYOUSAHAHAHAHAM!” Dean wailed, laughing madly.

“Aw, I love you too Dean.” Sam laughed.

Charlie watched on with a menacing smile. “Gotta get pics of this.” She announced, grabbing her phone.

“NohohohHOHOHO!” Dean protested.

Cas smiled fondly down at him.

Sam tickled from Dean’s elbows down to his underarms, scribbling down to his upper ribs as well and making Dean jump. He drilled into his armpits and chuckled every time he made Dean jump or shriek (which was a lot).

“Annnnd we are approaching the end...” Kevin announced. “Ten, nine...” he began counting down. Sam tickled even more vigorously for the last ten seconds and Dean could swear he was seeing stars.

Finally, the time was up and he was released. He barely moved from the floor at first, trying to hug his arms down and brush away the lingering tingle of Sam’s fingers.

“That was horrible.”

“And hilarious!” Charlie smirked.

“Whatever.” Dean continued. “Finally it’s my turn.” He grabbed the bottle and quickly spun it.

“Cas.” Dean’s voice sounded like the snake trying to charm Eve into eating the apple, smooth, secretive, threatening. “Looks like it’s your turn!”

Cas rolled the dice, getting four for time and two for location. Well shit.

Sam offered to hold Castiel’s legs while Charlie timed. Dean sat backwards across his middle, facing his thighs.

Cas felt like praying. The slacks he was wearing did little to impede Dean’s fingers as they began squeezing his sensitive legs just above the knee.

He yelped out a laugh as he fought the urge to scream. Dean was an expert at taking Cas apart, especially somewhere as sensitive and intimate as his thighs.

“Aww I bet this is driving you crazy, Cas.” Dean teased.

“StahahahahahahahahHAHAHHOP DON’T BEHEHEHE MEAN!” Cas cried out amongst his frantic laughter.

“What, does that make it tickle more?” Dean continued. “It’s not my fault you’re so sensitive.” Dean squeezed into the skin on the inside of Castiel’s thighs, making him kick so hard that it almost threw Sam off.

Finally, to Castiel’s relief, the timer sounded.

Dean’s mischievous look told Cas that it was far from over in the long run.

Castiel sat up, his appearance disheveled as he took hold of the bottle. As it spun in circles, eyes still watched it cautiously, a collective breath was held as it began to slow.

Dean.

“Well shit. That’s not fair. Sam already got me.” Dean protested.

“The bottle speaks the truth, Dean!” Charlie yelled back.

“But no one’s even gotten Kevin yet!” Dean whined.

“Complainer.” Sam teased. “Suck it up.”

Dean felt the urge to protest further, but when he opened his mouth he instead decided to sip on his beer. “Fine.” He reached out his hand. “Hit me.”

The dice appeared in his hand as he threw a roll. One for time, excellent. Three for location, not so excellent.

Dean looked from the dice slowly up to Cas, who wore a small smirk. Revenge would be sweet, it said.

“Can I reroll?” Dean asked.

“No!” Charlie, Kevin, Sam, and Cas all replied.

“After the treatment you gave me...” Cas began. “Expect fair retaliation.”

Dean felt himself shrinking.

Sam grabbed Dean’s arms and pulled him back to lay down on the carpet, holding his arms over his head. Cas took a seat on his middle. Kevin and Charlie offered to hold his feet to prevent extra kicking.

“It’s only one minute, why are you so nervous, Dean?” Cas teased.

Dean shot up his best attempt at a glare.

When the timer, set between Charlie and Kevin, began, Cas wasted no time digging directly into Dean’s hips.

Dean knee that was coming, but regardless he howled, his back arching up as much as it could as his whole body squirmed. “NahahahHAHAHAHAAHAHO NOHOHOH LHAJAHA CAHAHAAHHAHAAH CASHHAHAHA PLHEHEHEHEASE I CAN’T!” Dean wailed.

“Only 45 more seconds to go!” Charlie reassured him.

Cas drilled, scribbled, and wiggled his fingers ruthlessly into Dean’s most sensitive spot.

When there were only about 20 seconds left, Cas spidered his fingers all over Dean’s belly, throwing him off and making his laughter change form and pitch. Not as desperate but still tormented.

The final 5 seconds, which everyone counted down together, Cas squeezed Dean’s hips once for each second before finally releasing him.

Dean stared up blurrily at his friends, wishing he could muster the energy or mood to glare at any of them but only able to poorly choke back a goofy smile.

“I Hahahate you.” Dean said as he sat back up.

Back to Charlie, when she received Cas as a victim again. He had a two for time and a four for location. Charlie tickled his ribs silly as he giggled and squirmed.

Kevin got Sam, who rolled a one for location and a four for time. Kevin took his time tickling Sam’s huge feet. Under his toes made him giggle sweetly, though it took Dean and Cas to hold his legs down. Kevin saved this information for future use.

Sam, in turned, got Kevin. A huge smile formed on his face. Kevin found himself blushing and tried to take a sip of his wine cooler to mask it as something caused by tipsiness. Kevin rolled a six for time and a five for location. He stared in horror at the dice before him.

“No, you can’t...” Kevin whined, clenching his arms to his sides. “Have mercy...”

“You’re right, Kev.” Sam nodded before drawing his lip up into a smirk. “I can’t have mercy.”

Kevin rolled his eyes, squirming as he tried to situate himself. Sam sat over his head, asking for his arms which Kevin reluctantly gave. Sam sat on them and wiggled his fingers teasingly over Kevin’s armpits.

Kevin thought he might die.

“Go!” Charlie demanded, announcing the timer had begun.

Sam wasn’t a complete sadist (or maybe he was and this was worse?) to Kevin, he began at Kevin’s elbows and slowly drew his fingers down, tickling gently.

He swirled them around and around Kevin’s armpits for the first couple of minutes, peppering in pokes and scribbles as he went along. Kevin was squealing and out of breath, kicking his feet aimlessly at the onslaught.

Once the halfway mark passed, Sam turned up the heat. He began tickling more directly, harder, even driving his fingers into the center of Kevin’s armpits.

Kevin spasmed and thrashed and laughed his head off.

In the final 30 seconds, which in Kevin’s mind took hours to come, Sam drilled his thumbs into the middle of Kevin’s hollows, driving him mad with sensation and laughter.

When the time finally came, Kevin couldn’t stop laughing. Sam had moved off of him and offered him a hand to get up, but Kevin remained on the floor in a giggly puddle.

“Mahahahahan.....” Kevin eventually spoke up. “That was brutal...”

Sam winked at him, making Kevin blush again.

Finally, he sat back up and rejoined the circle.

Dean’s turn, which he eagerly awaited. He took the bottle and spun vigorously. Spin. Spin. Spin.

Eventually, it landed...

On himself.

“Oh, what now I spin again?” Dean asked.

“...No.” Charlie replied, holding out the dice to him with a smile.

“What?????” Dean stared in disbelief.

“Whoever it lands on gets tickled.” Charlie shrugged.

“I shouldn’t have asked....” Dean wiped a hand down his face.

“And, the yellow dice will be how many people tickle you. One: one, two: two, three: three, four, five, or six: everyone.” Charlie explained gleefully. “Blue is still time.”

“What? That’s- no-“

“Rules are rules, Dean!”

“You’re just making this shit up!”

“Rules are rules!” Charlie pressed the dice toward him more firmly.

Eventually he sighed, and took them. Time, six. People, four.

“Nooooooooooooo.” Dean whined.

“Yessssssssss.” Sam replied in an imitation.

“I despise all of you.” Dean noted.

“I’m sure.” Cas replied.

Dean rolled his eyes, huffing and puffing as he laid back on the carpet. Cas took a seat at his feet, as dean insisted Cas not have access to his stomach again. Sam above his head holding his arms. Charlie and Kevin sat back to back on his middle, Charlie facing his tummy and Kevin facing his thighs.

“Ready.” Charlie began.

“No.” Dean replied.

“Not you-“ Charlie stuck out her tongue at him. “Set.”

Dean clenched his eyes shut.

“Go!” Charlie declared, and they all dug in.

Dean’s eyes formed tears a minute in with Sam tickling all over his sensitive underarms and alternating with his neck. His long fingers made quick work of Dean’s ribs, squeezing and pinching them.

Charlie tickled ruthlessly over Dean’s belly. She dipped a finger into his bellybutton, squeezed his sides, spidered all over the skin, even lifting his shirt to get more direct contact, and took some time to squeeze and scribble on his hips.

Kevin tickled behind Dean’s knees, squeezed their tops, and tickled up and down Dean’s thighs. His legs couldn’t escape due to Castiel’s prescience on his ankles.

Cas tickled over the tops of Dean’s feet, around and under his toes, between them, then the balls, then arches, then heels of his feet. He would tickle back up the sides, and then begin the process again.

Dean thought he might lose his mind.

Then, the timer buzzed.

Finally, it came to Castiel’s turn again.

“It better not fucking land on me.” Dean glared as he collected himself.

Luckily for him, it landed on Charlie, who rolled a six for location and three for time. Cas tickled all around her neck and ears as she giggled lightly.

“Maybe we should continue another time.” Sam began. “Dean seems a little pooped.” He nudged his brother’s side.

“Shut up, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

“Sounds good. Who’s ready for a movie?” Charlie announced as she stood.

“Yep. I need another round.” Dean stretched his arms and began to stand as Sam reached out to poke his ribs.

“Don’t fucking start!” Dean hissed, jumping up to escape the touch. He followed Charlie quickly out of the room.

Everyone else soon followed.

115 notes · View notes

absolut-blue · 5 years

Text

Starter; @dulcemori

“You look a little nervous, I promise I don’t bite.” Blue says with a laugh as he strolls up to the bar to order two drinks for them.

He turns to face the other, with a smile. He’s in a good mood today. Any excuse to go out drinking, especially with another person was perfect for Blue. Especially with this cute new person he’d met at the mall that afternoon.

“So Angel,” Their drinks come up at the bar and Blue picks one up to sip from it, “Tell me about yourself~”

#dulcemori #forgive me i havent written starters in forever #fghgjhgfhjgj

4 notes · View notes

nth-generation-kpop · 6 years

Text

When You Love Someone

Word Count: ~1900 Pairing: Changlix Requested by: @beeaaniee Summary: Soft movie date (any pairing)

Changbin knocked on the beat-to-hell metal door of Felix’s dorm, considering how much the building resembled a prison as he waited. The strongest visual of course was the chipping paint that looked like it came directly out of Orange is the New Black; but close runners up included the excessive amount of keys or access cards needed to get anywhere (bathrooms, elevators, stairways, study rooms) and the unnecessarily extensive sign in sheets visitors were required to fill out before the very clearly annoyed RA on duty would let you out of the lobby.

Still, it was fun to look at some of the things other people wrote in the “Reason for Visiting” section-- booty call, alien invasion, breaking up with my girlfriend. Tonight Changbin had written “movie date, if you must know,” his laptop squeezed in his backpack next to a box of M&Ms, a bag of microwave popcorn, and a change of clothes. Any other movie night he would have gone home after, but Felix’s roommate Jisung was out of town for the weekend. Changbin liked Jisung but in a dorm the size of a broom closet he always felt like he was running into somebody or just generally in the way. Once in a while Felix would want him to stay over, but he usually convinced his boyfriend to come home with him instead.

“MY TURN TO PICK SUCKER.” Changbin grimaced dramatically as the door opened, unable to keep a smile off his face.

“Please tell me we’re not watching--”

“The Proposal again? You bet we are! We haven’t watched it in months,” Felix said, grinning. Changbin leaned in for a quick kiss before stepping aside so Felix could close the door.

“Babe, we watched it last month, remember? The week after, you and Jisung did the dance at the semester kickoff student mixer and almost got us kicked out.”

Felix giggled to himself. “Hmm nope I don’t recall that, but if it had happened I’m sure it would have been hilarious. And very sexy.”

Changbin just rolled his eyes, opening his backpack and throwing the unpopped popcorn at Felix.

He caught it easily, frowning at the plastic as he tried to tear it open. “Are you staying over?”

Changbin realized he hadn’t been invited, he just assumed he’d be spending the night. “Is that okay?”

“Of course! I figured you would. How was your show last night? A Thirsty Thursday success?”

“Yeah, it was good. It’s still early in the semester so people aren’t spending their whole weekends cramming for exams. Pretty good turnout.”

That may have been… a bit of an understatement. SPEARB’s nights at the club were ranked second most popular all summer and while Changbin expected it to be a fluke, for his popularity to drop off when students flooded back to campus, that wasn’t the case. 5 weeks later he was still solidly in second place. Nearly all the others in the top 10 ranking the club manager kept backstage were actual DJ’s and producers, and he was the only underclassman. He was still half convinced it was dumb luck and people weren’t actually coming to see him-- he’d tell Felix eventually.

“That’s great! Can I come to your next show?”

“I can sneak you in backstage but you’re too young, they won’t let you in.” Felix pouted. “They let you in and you’re not 21.”

“I’m the exception.” The microwave beeped and Changbin pulled his laptop out while Felix searched for a bowl. “You better keep your gross Junior Mints on your side of the popcorn this time.”

“Excuse you? Junior mints are the peak popcorn snack” Felix argued.

“M&Ms are the peak popcorn snack, Junior mints get melted chocolate all over everything, it’s gross,”

“The M&Ms melt too!”

“Yeah, but the coating keeps the chocolate inside, not all over your popcorn.” Changbin winked at Felix. They had some form of this argument every time and Felix still hadn’t come up with a rebuttal to that point.

Felix glared, climbing onto his bed next to Changbin. “Let’s agree to disagree.”

Changbin hummed, leaning over to kiss Felix’s cheek. “Let’s.”

Having seen this movie a seemingly infinite number of times, Changbin opted to let his mind wander while munching on popcorn. It was a good movie, Felix’s favorite by far, but while his boyfriend never got tired of it he couldn’t quite say the same. Still, Changbin chose to indulge him because it made him happy. Lounging against Changbin’s side, Felix’s legs stretched out to the left so he was angled comfortably with his head on Changbin’s shoulder. All Changbin had to do was lean slightly to the left to kiss the top of his head. One of his arms was wrapped loosely around Felix’s waist, hand splayed open on his stomach. The bowl of popcorn sat in Felix’s lap, the right side peppered with M&Ms so Changbin could reach them. As much as they joked about the ‘my half of the bowl/your half of the bowl’ thing, they occasionally stole each others’ candy.

Sometime after the characters got off the plane in Alaska, Changbin was officially spaced out. He watched Felix instead of the movie for a while, the way his eyes lit up at his favorite parts and his cheeks bunched up when he smiled. He counted the freckles sprinkled across the bridge of Felix’s nose-- as cheesy as it sounds, he did it often. He moved his left hand to thread his fingers together with Felix’s, rubbing his thumb over the side of Felix’s palm. And he thought about how incredibly lucky he was to have this boy, this absolute dork who danced to Get Low with his roommate in the middle of a crowded room, who was a professional at wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, who had such a bright personality in contrast to his reserved one.

They met a semester ago, during Felix’s first ever week of classes at the University. They actually met through Jisung, though the boy could hardly claim matchmaker rights as he was entirely oblivious to them liking each other. Changbin invited Jisung to a party with Chan and the others, and Jisung brought Felix along to meet people. In no time, Woojin was mentioning that he and Felix had gotten close really fast-- he claimed to know the moment he saw them together that they were good for each other. It’s like you were in love at first sight. Changbin wasn’t so sure at first. Felix was just so bright and kind-- Changbin didn’t often attract bright and kind. His shyness and stoic personality made him seem a lot more severe than he was in reality. It wasn’t until someone pointed out that he smiled a lot more around Felix that he thought maybe it could work out, maybe Felix made him bright too.

Felix on the other hand was so terrible at flirting that he eventually just gave up with the pretenses. Seemingly overnight he went from being reserved and a little nervous around Changbin to being incredibly... hands on. Felix would light up when Changbin came into the room, pull him in for a hug, purposefully sit next to him in order to spend the whole time with an arm around his shoulder or a hand on his leg. It was a type of attention and affection given so freely that Changbin didn’t know what to do with it besides reciprocate as best he could.

Then one night he was walking back from the library when he spotted a familiar-looking bright orange duffle bag next to a familiar-looking figure on bench outside the dance building. On the off chance that it was his friend, he crossed the street. He found Felix doubled over, head in his hands, and it wasn’t until he was close enough for Felix to look up that he saw the street light reflect off Felix’s wet cheeks-- he was crying. Changbin sat on the bench next to him and, at a loss for how to comfort the boy, simply pulled him close and let him sob. He ran his fingers through Felix’s hair as the boy’s shoulders shook, rubbing his back until he felt Felix’s grip on his own shirt loosen and his breathing even out.

It’s so hard, Felix said. I’m not good enough, I’m so far behind everybody else. Everything went wrong today, just everything. Fine arts programs were competitive at this university, Changbin knew that stress first hand. The professors took a sink or swim mentality to them-- students were thrown into high level classes upon admission, they were given the same assignments regardless of year and expected to practice tirelessly. He recalled his first semester, when mean comments from upperclassmen and stiff criticism on his projects had him feeling so low that he didn’t know what to do. Chan pulled him out of that hole, gave him this same talk-- well, a similar one. Now, he fed Felix some gentle encouragement and walked him home. At the door, Changbin pulled him into another hug and spoke softly into his ear-- You’re so much stronger than you think you are, you’re so much more talented than you can see. I believe in you. This semester is a test, if you get through it you pass, and I know you can do it. I’m here for you. Something in his chest felt tight, almost painful as Felix walked into his building and disappeared around a corner. He wanted to take the pain away, he wanted life to be fair for Felix-- if anybody deserved better it was that sweet, bright boy. That feeling continued each time Felix texted him for encouragement or support, and Changbin hoped desperately that he was helping to make things better, even just a little.

Soon after, Felix received his first positive feedback on an evaluation. He’d been working even harder, putting in longer hours, and cultivating confidence in himself through sheer willpower. Changbin was waiting for him outside after his evaluation and Felix ran directly into his arms. As far as first kisses go, theirs was pretty good.

When he noticed the bowl was empty Changbin set it aside and Felix shifted closer, pulling Changbin’s arms tighter around him and letting his head loll to the side. Changbin smiled, kissing his temple-- yes, he loved this boy.

It wasn’t until Changbin was halfway through planning out a set for his next time performing at the club that Felix finally noticed how disinterested in the movie he was.

“On a scale from one to ten, how bored are you?” Changbin smiled sheepishly.

“I’m with you, I’m not bored.” Felix rolled his eyes and Changbin smirked.

“We can watch something else? The Conjuring?”

“Baby, you hate horror movies,” Changbin said, squeezing Felix’s hand.

“Mmm, I don’t mind watching them with you, plus they’re your favorite.”

Changbin hummed. “Let’s finish this, my favorite part is coming up. Then we can watch something else.”

“Right, the breakfast in bed scene.” Felix tilted his head back to look up at Changbin, grinning.

“Shut up, it’s cute.”

“You’re cute.”

#stray kids #stray kids au #short fic #so this is a peripheral story that's an offshoot of the main theme #and... i havent written in forever so like forgive me if its shit #yeah uh hope you enjoy #and I hope it was what you had in mind @beeaaniee #mine

24 notes · View notes

gothkaede-remade · 6 years

Note

for the ship fic thing do 70 with chiaki and ibuki cuz it fits your url

70. “You’re warm.”Chiaki sat at her desk, tapping away at the arrow keys in order to get the rhythms just right.The apartment was unusually quiet, with the exception of the soothing melody from the game Chiaki was playing. Which meant that her roommate slash girlfriend was out of the house.Pausing her game, Chiaki stood up, carefully putting down her headphones. She made way to the living room, not expecting what she was about to see.There Ibuki was on the couch, lightly snoring, her guitar on the floor. Her hair was a mess, still in her oni horns, and her makeup was smudged from sleeping in it. Despite this, Chiaki's robotic heart almost died of cuteness. Even when a sleeping mess, Ibuki was the cutest, sweetest, best girlfriend ever. Chiaki stepped over Ibuki's musical equipment and sat on the couch. Resting Ibuki's head on her lap, she leaned down to kiss her forehead. "You're warm," Chiaki whispered.Ibuki twitched in her sleep, and right then and there Chiaki knew she loved her girlfriend to the moon and back.

#i havent written in forever pls forgive me!#nanabuki #dr #sdr2 #ask #anon

26 notes · View notes

solarisensun · 4 years

Text

May our Paths Cross again

Oikawa Tooru x Reader

- listened to ‘wonder’ and ‘lego house’ when writing this, havent written any angst and fluff in so long, forgive me if the writing isnt smooth :( been obsessed w oikawa recently and i wanted to explore his complex character. i think this fic really amplifies the negatives of his personality bc i always see fics ab his flirtiness/ cockiness so i wanted to do the opposite aka his pride, inferiority complex etc lmk what do u guys think? if it does well i’ll turn this into a mini series!

He loved you so much that he forgot what it felt like to hate himself

-----

“The sky is so pretty today. I told you it was a right choice to come out this evening.” You hum, tilting your head back to get a better view.

It is pretty today, you are right. Not that he’d admit that aloud because you would hold the little fact over him forever. Gold threads yawned across the rosy sky like ichor veins of a heavenly being. The rippling water around reflects the sun to blaze in a fierce golden. But he’s not looking at the view.

It strikes Oikawa Tooru that he loves you for the first time when the two of you are sitting on the beach, the comforting weight of your shoulder brushes against his when you speak, toes wriggling in the sand. It’s a sudden realisation that hits him like a freight truck, all the little things over the years that accumulated to this.

This very moment when he realises that he’s in love with his best friend.

The soft croon of your favourite song plays from the little speaker he’d brought in the background. Your hair dances carelessly in the warm wind, dappled in beautiful shades under the dwindling golden rays of the sun and he is hit with a silly impulse to run his fingers through your flowing locks, would they be as soft as they looked?

He nearly does it.

Until a loud shriek from the nearby kids playing in the sea snaps your head away and Oikawa lets his hand fall back to his side.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked over the quiet slosh of waves lapping at the beach, smiling at his no doubt dazed expression.

For the first time in his life, Oikawa Tooru is at a loss for words. He’d always been clever with words, able to twist them with his picture-perfect face of innocence that never failed to get him what he wanted (or rescue him from trouble).Why did you make him nervous all of a sudden? You’d been his friend since 8! Childhood friends don’t make each other nervous.

“Um…. Oh! There’s a bug in your hair.” He stuttered, hand reaching out but you beat him to it, shaking your head to get rid of the imaginary bug he had just conjured out of nowhere.

“Is it gone now?”

“Yes.” He breathes out, yanking his gaze away from your face to fixate on the sun despite the sharp sting in his eyes at the sharp glare and praying that his face isn’t flushed an embarrassing shade of pink. He feels like the roles have been reversed, he was now the pining fangirl and you were him! The absurdity of it nearly makes him chortle out loud. “It’s all good now.” But he’s not dense. He’s knows he’s in love, does he dare tell you? No, it would ruin everything. Knowing you, you’d probably laugh outright in his face the moment he blurts it out.

Oikawa decided that maybe this feeling would fade, that maybe tomorrow, you would go back to being his best friend and not a girl that made his heart speed up. Maybe this epiphany was temporary, a trick of light, he’s sure the two of you will be back to nipping each other’s heels and rough housing tomorrow.

If only love was that simple.

“We should get back shouldn’t we?” You sigh, “Hajime will be mad if we’re late again.”

“Your right,” He pushes himself to his feet, rolling his eyes when you pipe in “I’m always right!” Brushing away the grains of damp sand that clings to his trousers. Instinctively (after years of wrestling each other to the ground and making you cry), Oikawa reaches out a hand to pull you up too. The feeling of your smaller palm pressed snugly against his has him freezing up like a deer in headlights.

“Tooru,” you chide, eyebrows knotting together when he stares blankly at how your hand fits perfectly when nestled in his. The two of you are a far cry from the snivelling little kids playing in his backyard as Iwa tries his upmost best to calm the both of you after a petty dispute, he hadn’t realise how much taller he’d grown over you until he hauls you up and your head barely reaches his shoulder even at full height.

“You’re out of it today.” You laugh, punching him in the arm and he does a dramatic stumble of pain over the sand. “The tournament is only a week away, how are you gonna go to nationals being an airhead? You’ll lose all your fangirls at this rate.”

“Why do you sound so gleeful at the fact?”

“I don’t,” you deadpan.

“Yes,” he says dryly. “You sound very convincing right now.”

Something in your laugh snaps him out of his daze and he finds himself relaxing into your presence as Oikawa settles back into the easy rhythm of your bickering that has the tension in his shoulders melting away along with the upward quirk of your lips. He’d always been magnetically drawn to you, like there was a fragile thread that connected him to you, being around you made him breathe a little easier, laugh a little louder. You were a gift of fresh air in the mountain of pressure that led up to the last ever tournament of his high school, even when hanging out with Iwa, Makki and Mattsun, it had been nothing but volleyball, volleyball, volleyball.

He still remembers how relieved he felt when Aoba Johsai scored the match point against Karasuno, it wasn’t glee nor happiness that coursed through his veins after the victory but instead a grim sense of resigned relief. Relief that Tobio Kageyama – the monster genius hadn’t been able to surpass him – an ordinary player, relief that he was able to keep his rivals at bay for another short day.

It gnaws at his bones, the insistent voice that hisses in his ear no matter how hard he tries to snuff it out. It’s inevitable that Tobio would soon overtake him to soar up to new heights, heights that he wouldn’t be able to achieve no matter how hard he slaves away.

But the tournament is not today, it’s not tomorrow either.

Right in this fleeting moment, basking under the warm glow of the sunset and with his lungs full of the salty sea air, he’s just another ordinary student walking home with his high school crush. And in that moment, Oikawa was a boy again, one who believed in miracles and fates, the same boy that bragged to you about being the best setter in the world.

Selfishly, he wishes that this moment would last forever.

Maybe it was fate that let your path cross his, but it was also the same cruel fate that cursed him as an ordinary player in the world of geniuses, unable to reach the heights of playing skill like Ushijima or Tobio.

As he waves goodbye to your retreating figure vanishing behind the door of your house, Oikawa Tooru bestows a silent promise to himself under the dim illumination of street lamps. If fate had led you to him in this vast world, maybe it would grant him a miracle too.

If he wins, he’ll write you a love letter.

-----

The letter gathers dust in the bottom of his drawer. The paper utterly crumpled from his repeated furious rubbing as he rewrites the same darned phrase for the 4th time.

He can barely meet your eyes when you talk to him. The ashy taste of defeat is still strong in his tongue and he can’t – can’t bear to look in your bright eyes and see the sadness in them. It would tear his already fragile resolve to shreds. The timing couldn’t have been any worse.

“Tooru.”

“What?” He’s being mean, he knows that, but he can’t help it. Can’t help the harsh bite in his tone when he snaps at you. Can’t help the ugly shade of bitterness that colours the single word. It’s a dangerous thing, the frustration that snakes through him and twists into an angry, rustling coil. Oikawa hates how the feeling is no stranger to him, he’s been on the losing side long enough that it no longer feels foreign.

He doesn’t want to talk. He wants to hit something, anything and scream at all the unfairness in this world.

“Tooru,” you say again, taking a step closer to his huddled form, undeterred hand reaching out to grab him by the sleeve of his volleyball jacket. You know him like that back of your hand, fully aware that this devastating loss might lead to his spiral downwards into self-destruction.

He steps away. Avoiding your touch and it’s as if he had slapped you across your face. He’d never shied away from you. The raw unhidden hurt is scrawled over your delicate face at the little motion and you recoil immediately, outstretched hand curling inwards tight enough that he can see your fingers turn bone white. It makes his breathing hitch painfully at the expression on your face. His thundering heartbeat is pounding somewhere in the empty space between his ears, everything feels oddly out of focus.

“Can you just say it?” Oikawa looks away to the bleary stadium ceiling, unable to stomach the sight of your blanched face without feeling like the sky is pressing on his chest as his hands balls into clenched fists at his sides. “I’m tired.” Tired of always being not enough to you, to his teammates, to volleyball, to himself.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice is awfully small and when he sneaks a peek at your face, he can already see the unshed tears clinging to your lashes, making them all glassy and that tell-tale quiver of your bottom lip.

How long had it been since he last saw you cry? Why are you saying sorry anyway, it’s not your fault. None of this is your fault, he has no one to blame but himself. And all of a sudden, he genuinely feels so tired. The weight of the broken promises of his high school years burdened on his shoulders, the frustration of losing again and again and again as he fights a losing uphill battle, watching years of sweat and tears vanish into thin air on court.

“It’s not your fault.” He replies bitterly, mind suddenly flashing to the unfinished letter laying on his desk.

He had his hopes set too high didn’t he?

-----

“You broke her fucking heart you fucking idiot.” Oikawa doesn’t even flinch when Iwa grabs him by the collar and slams him against the wall hard enough that pain blossoms across the back of his head. The ace is seething, pure fury flaring in those stony eyes.

“You didn’t really have to state the obvious did you?” He croaks hoarsely against the pressure on his throat. Oikawa makes a sound like a choked laugh, eyebrows raised but makes no move to push Iwaizumi off his chest.

“Why’d you do it? Everyone with a pair of eyes knew that you loved her. You literally look at her like she hangs the stars in the sky ever since we were kids.” Hajime snarls, nostrils flaring and he punctuates his words with a harder shove. The surly ace had always treated both you and Oikawa with a fierce sense of protectiveness, even more so when you had grown up with the both of them (the sheer number of times he’d patched up your scraped knees or waited patiently for you after school when Oikawa was busy with practise to make sure you never walked home alone), he’d practically taken up the role as the older brother you never had. The image of your tear stained face brushing past him sent his nerves fraying in anger and imagine his surprise when he sees a stony-faced Oikawa in the opposite direction of your frenzied steps.

This time, Oikawa can’t stop the way his voice rises in a deafening crescendo that has a flash of surprise flicker across Iwaizumi’s face at the sudden outburst. “Look at me! Look at me!” Oikawa lets out a sharp bitter laugh that’s borderline hysterical. “Do you think I can make her happy? I can’t even look at myself in the fucking mirror right now!”

“I made her cry even before she confessed to me for God’s sake!” He can’t hold back the raw surge of emotions that bursts through now, “Look me in the eye and tell me she would be happy with me. I am nothing,” He chokes through the sentence, fighting the prickling of hot tears that threatened to leak out. “I cannot offer myself to the girl I love like-like……this.”

“She would give me her everything and I know that I can’t, I CAN’T,” Oikawa yells. He isn’t aware that the tears have spilled until his cheeks are stained wet and the upturned collar of his jacket turns damp. “I don’t deserve her at all.” The last sentence is soft, barely audible, all the fight now drained out of him as Oikawa slumps against the wall, his long beautiful lashes casts devastating shadows across his half-lidded eyes.

“I made so many promises.” He whispers, more to himself than to Iwaizumi. It’s all that’s left of him, the husk of a prideful, ordinary man. “And I couldn’t keep a single one of them.”

He’s not just referring to you. It dawns on Iwaizumi in that brief instant, the sheer amount of pressure and pride his best friend had been silently piling on himself throughout all these years with battered knuckles and bruised fingers. He’d thought that he knew how hard Oikawa had been pushing himself both mentally and physically, had tried his best to keep him from slipping, until now. You were the last edge that kept the setter sane, the lifeline that kept him from drowning into the murky depths.

And now you were gone.

Iwaizumi Hajime watches as Oikawa Tooru reach his limit right in front of his eyes, and he simply can’t do anything about it. Oikawa’s eyes were dark and stormy, gone was the honey glazed orbs that radiated warmth. He could see his reflection in each of his dilated pupils, a tiny image of himself in Tooru’s glistening eyes.

Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything. He’d never been good with flowery nor clever words like his silver-tongued friend. But something in his friend’s eyes softens and Iwaizumi pulls him into a fierce hug, instead letting the setter bawl his eyes out into his shoulder.

“I couldn’t keep them too.”

-----

“I need to be enough,” Oikawa tells Iwaizumi over the phone, his ear pressed into his shoulder when he digs through his closet for clothes to pack. “I want to be better. For….myself.” For her, for you, for everyone.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” There is a noisy bustle in Iwaizumi’s background, “Give me a min,” he grunts and the white noise fades away with a slam of the door.

“I have something to say.”

“Oh, no.”

Oikawa chooses to politely ignore the statement. “I’m going to Argentina.”

“For a vacation?”

“No,” he takes a deep breath. “I’m going to play for the Argentinian League. Volleyball”

There is a long tense beat of silence so quiet that Oikawa is sure that his friend has hung up on him or even worse, pass out. Before Iwaizumi’s angry voice echoes across his phone.

“You’ve officially lost it.” Iwaizumi hisses, Oikawa can literally visualize his best friend throwing his hands up in exasperation as he speaks. “Are you kidding?”

“Nope,” He pops the ‘p’ word loud enough to hear a sigh of annoyance crackle over the speaker. “I’m leaving next Wednesday.”

The only response he receives is the dull tone of Iwaizumi hanging up on him before he completes his sentence.

The last time he sees you is in the airport. He’d thought that you wouldn’t come, Oikawa would understand if you didn’t come and send off the person who broke your heart, he should have known you better than that.

Your crying again, face all red and splotchy and he feels his chest swell with a rush of adoring affection despite the fact that he’s making you cry again. Your sudden embrace knocks the wind out of his chest. “Come back in one-piece o-okay?” You hiccup, glaring at him though your voice cracking like brittle glass towards the end of your sentence softens the stare.

It’s the closest you’ve been to him since the incident. Sure, you’d still been friendly to him but there was a certain uncomfortable coolness in you that warded him away, prevented the two of you from settling into your usual comfortable rhythm. Poor Iwaizumi had been constantly dragged around everywhere you went in a pitiful attempt to disguise the fact that you just didn’t want to spend any time alone with him.

All of a sudden he feels whole again, like the missing void in him had been filled in with your presence. Feels the thread between the two of you entangle into messy tangled knots as the familiar intimacy settles over him. He loves you, loves you so much that he forgot what it was like to hate himself. Gently, Oikawa winds his arms around your shaking shoulders, tucking your face into the crook of his chest as feather light fingers smooths across the crown of your head as he runs his fingers through your hair with a tender smile. Your hair is softer than it looks. “I will.” Another promise.

“Don’t forget about me when your famous.” Your voice is partly muffled in his chest and he can’t help the laugh that thrums his chest. How can he ever forget you? He doubts that he will ever erase you from his memory even if he wants to.

“If I ever get famous, I won’t forget about you” The last of many.

Your hands tighten around him, fisting into his t shirt as if you wanted to draw him closer. If he listens hard enough, he may hear the steady throb of your heart beating in sync with his. “You will.” Your trembling voice though wobbly, is full of determined conviction. “You’ll be the best setter in—in the wor—world remember?” You’re outright crying now, wailing into his shirt with loud sobs.

There’re so many things he dying to say to you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break your heart like an idiot, will you forgive me? I love you too. The desperate words bubble in him, dancing on the tip of his tongue but he doesn’t even know where to start. So, he shoves them back and keeps his mouth shut. The two of you are silent, just standing there in each other’s embrace and Oikawa prays that his hug will convey the message he cannot.

Until the robotic voice of his flight crackles over the speakers and he has to watch you cry again from behind the glass as you wave goodbye to him with the other third years by your side.

When the plane soars over the airport and Oikawa peers out the tiny aisle window, the cold glass pressing against his forehead. He feels the thread snap. The void in him yawns darkly and it aches, as if there was a hollow emptiness in him that couldn’t be filled no matter what and he can feel the cold wind that blows through his chest. His vision fractures for a second when he stares at the sky, splinters into shades of blue and white as the hot tears he had been holding back for so long finally spill.

May our paths cross again.

#may our paths cross again #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu oikawa #aoba johsai #angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fanfic #anime fanfic #haikyuu fanfiction #tw: angst #oikawa imagine

473 notes · View notes

hypertonicplague · 3 years

Text

Awoa awoa

Doodling dumb shit has been hard this past month so I decided to do a lil writing to maybe chill me out

BIG ASS WARNING IM NOT A WRITER, I HAVENT WRITEN AN ESSAY IN 3 YEARS. THIS WAS NOT BETA READ N LIKE JUST me doin something for fun

THATS ALL THIS IS, if 4 fun so please do take it w a soft heart 🥺🙏🏻

I’m gonna tag this as gnMCxLucifer written in first person. MC is definitely 100% ooc just cuz so if ur like me n can’t handle other ppls emotions 👉🏼😎👉🏼 this is 4 u bestie. So enjoy! Sorry for any grammar n punctuation errors! N feedback is welcomed cuz this was kinda fun so I might start doin more lmaaooo

Your true self

GNMcxLucifer short fic

Warnings: crying, toxic mindset (not really though?? It’s more like refusing to acknowledge the other side of a person), spoilers for lesson 16 (just a hint), n being a dick, angst

Lucifer Morning Star, Avatar of pride, and the eldest of the 7 kings of hell. A sadist with a passion for punishment, a hellion who dare to challenge even God himself. Someone I should’ve feared from the beginning but…as fate would have it…I didn’t. Ripped from my normal life in the “human realm” and forced to help a childish prince “unite the realms” in literal hell. A bothersome task but one I had to do without fail (least I get my entire body rearranged…) all while being under the care of…him and his brothers. Wasn’t exactly how I wanted to spend a year of my life but…it without a choice I ended up surviving it. Months of homework, pranks, dodging death, learning magic, and domesticating 6 demon lords eventually filled my heart with joy and unnerving easy, it had become my new normal and one that I welcomed whole heartily. I loved them, I absolutely loved and adored all of them, even the one that choked the life out of me. Love and forgiveness wasn’t something hell got often, if at all, so with my human’s mercy and heart I’d grant them an endless supply of it. Even to the one who side eyed me at dinner, who’d correct and point out my every mistake, who’d spare me no harsh words when I messed something up, no praise when I’d complete a complicated task, who’d be quick to shoot me a glare for any reason, who’d treat me like a child or a dog (whichever his mood decided I would be that day), and endless other things that would make my spine tremble and hands cold.

But it wasn’t his fault, he was a demon, a powerful demon with an image to uphold. His brothers are allowed to let their walls down, to allow themselves to be pet and praised and loved, to lay down in the lap of a human and dream uneventful sinless dreams, to get brought tea and coffee when they had a bad day, they’re allowed to sit in the humans room when they weren’t there, they could wear the humans clothes and feel falsely safe, they-

They….got love…and he wanted it too. It burned him up inside to admit it, tortured him to an extent too. Love was something he’d watch his brothers receive with envies eyes and snarls. A human’s pure love.

It was something I could give to him whenever I wished and, to both our surprises, I did. I got under that tough skin of his and ran my fingers through his hair. I sat him down and talked to him, I played pranks on and with him, I got to see all of him. Every side of him I could think of he showed me, his silly side, his angry side, his tired side, his mocking side, his sadistic side, his domestic side, every side except….one… one I never wished to see but he on the other hand decided that he wanted me to. I proved myself enough to see it to him. It was supposed to be his way of saying ‘I love you, I trust you, unconditionally’ but….words are more than enough…they could’ve been…

But as the avatar of pride was, when he made his mind up to do something not even God himself could stop him, so I was shown something I never, ever wanted to see from him. A side that could’ve stayed hidden forever and even after that.

It was a late night when it happened, a cold night, full of paperwork and cursed music. I never thought of it as anything different from every other night, I made Lucifer his bitter coffee, piled some tea cakes and odd small sandwiches on a plate, and set off to his room. I knocked on his door three times in a off pattern rhythm (something we decided on so that he knew when I came in and wouldn’t cast me a killing glare), he didn’t answer. That was a red flag, the only one I’d get for this long night ahead.

‘Maybe he’s really into his work right now??’

I thought to myself as I let myself in.

He could be doing….that….

A scene straight out of a horror movie from my own theater laid before me.

Paperwork, piles and piles of paperwork so delicately surrounded the Avatar of Pride, he was sitting, pen thrown across his desk, one gloved hand cradling his face while the other pushed itself into his hair, his body was shaking, his body was shaking violently as if he were cold. And honestly I thought he was, my brain couldn’t, wouldn’t process what was happening. Not until….he moved his hand down…and looked right at me….not through me not past me like he always does but completely and utterly at me.

His eyes were blood shot, hot heavy tears were leaking from his eyes and down his chin ruining whatever paper he was working on, his eyebrows were knitted together, he looked….tired…upset…and…shaken up.

Lucifer Morning Star, the sadistic Avatar of Pride, eldest of the 7 kings of hell, the right hand man of the literal DEVIL HIMSELF, is looking at me with the same look a child that had a nightmare would give to his father. His mouth wouldn’t say it but his eyes would, he wanted….he wanted something only a human, no, something only I could give him. Something he’d been longing for since the day he fell, something he’d dream about, something that he stay up at night daydreaming of having, something that made him sit in his shower, closing his eyes and losing himself in the water’s warmth. He wanted….baseless, unconditional, forgiving, whole hearted, genuine, gentle, and affirming…..comfort.

I stood there and waited, watching, breathing heavily. But not for long as he stood up from his desk and reached his arms out to me, his tears started getting heavier and started running down his red face faster as he ran towards me.

He wrapped his entire body around me and pushed us both to the ground, for a couple seconds I just laid there. This wasn’t something I’ve ever done for him nor did I think I’d need to do for him. I’ve done it for Mammon countless times, Asmo too, Beel on the occasion, and Levi almost after every losing game. But Lucifer? The thought never crossed my mind and now that I’m here, with him trying to coax it out of me I can’t help but feel something I’ve never felt before.

I grabbed his head softly and pushed his nose into my shoulder, I used my other arm to wrap around his back and rubbed it up and down his spine, I kept my fingers tangled in his hair, shushing him, affirming him, that I’m here and everything’s gonna be alright. He cried harder tucking his hands and arms between our chest’s, his entire body was between my legs and ontop of me. The feeling of it all was crushing, not only his weight but….that feeling as well.

I am a human, nothing can change that. He’s a demon, an quick to remind me of this when I joke a little too much with him. And being human I loved him, and right by that love I’ve set aside just for him a new feeling directed at him came. Something I wouldn’t tell him about or ever show.

I’m glad he can’t see my face because if he did then he might’ve figured out that new feeling all by himself. My face and heart wore the same expression that night, the same feeling….of….

Disgust.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #om! swd #om!#obey me lucifer #lucifer #om! lucifer #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me x reader #obey me luci x reader #obey me angst #angst #ficcin around #thats gon be my fic tag loooooll

27 notes · View notes