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heavenlycloud · 7 months

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dream a little dream: yunjin x fem! reader ✧°🍒‧｡°

request: hi! It says that soft hours are open and I just had a thought from watching the LE SSERAFIM x Dream Academy Video where the fimmies surprised the contestants. Imagine being the 6th member of LE SSERAFIM and being in a relationship with yunjin and you both are smiling happily and holding hands while greeting the contestants, and then once you all leave some of the contestants are like “omg the way they look at each other, they’re definitely dating” or something of that sort LOL 🩷

a/n: ok so funny story i read this and then wrote it all whilst being sleep deprived and slightly delirious…so i lowkey mixed up the details but i can go back and rewrite it if you’re not satisfied (this is why i need sleep and why i need to stop trying to write from memory cuz i can’t do it).

Becoming an idol had been your dream since you were 14 years old as a freshman in high school. one of your friends showed you their favorite girl groups and you were immediately sucked into the world of kpop. as you went through high school and entered university your hope of making your dream come true slowly dwindled. companies were starting to debut girls younger and younger which you didn’t think gave you much of a chance at 18 years old. that was until you got an email from someone about submitting an audition for a new girl group that would form under HYBE in the next year. at first you thought it was a scam, but after doing a deep dive on the internet you realized it was more real than fake. you submitted the audition with little hope knowing that you’d practically ‘aged out’ of the trainee age range, on top of the fact that you hadn’t been singing or dancing since infancy like every idol seemed to have done. so it was a huge surprise when you got an email back 8 weeks later confirming that you passed the audition. by some miracle you’d convinced your parents to let you go to Korea to become a trainee under HYBE with the hopes of debut. truthfully, they only said yes knowing that you’d probably be sent back home after 6 months…and your university credits were valid for the next 10 years so you could pick up where you left off.

Much like your parents assumed, you were sent back home, but instead of after 6 months, it was after 2 years. you gave everything you could to the trainee program but in the end you didn’t make the final cut due to “not having the look the group needed”. you were heartbroken to leave your new friends, the seven girls who were supposed to make HYBE’s new girl group. the three younger girls that had become like your little sisters, the two older girls that were like your older sisters, and the one same aged girl who was your best friend…maybe a little more. on your last day in the company you laughed while saying your final goodbyes, clinging onto your girls in a huddle as you tried to have a positive outlook on a shitty situation. when you got back home you were devastated to say the least. for the first few weeks you only cried and wished things had worked in your favor, until one day you refused to wallow in your sorrows any longer.

you made a promise that you’d see them again, that you’d see her again and laying around crying all day wasn’t going to make that happen. so, you began practicing again using the techniques and lessons you’d learned over your 2 year long trainee experience. when the audition announcement came out this time around you didn’t hesitate to apply to the same company that let you go a year ago. given how hard you worked, it was absolutely no surprise when you found out HYBE wanted you back in their trainee program. at this point your parents didn’t bother refusing once again knowing university would be there if you ended up coming back home again. however, with the way you’d been training yourself it wasn’t looking like that would be an option. honestly you didn’t know if your driving force was to prove to yourself or to the people that sent you home that you had what it takes, but regardless you were ready this time. by the end of the first mission it was clear to the judges, trainers, and other contestants that you were certainly a force to be reckoned with. you’d only ever heard praises and slight critiques that could be fixed immediately from your trainers and judges.

the eighteen of you all filed into the practice room and filled the seats as you sat in front of the screen that was presumably going to show your second mission. you sat between lara and sophia holding both of their hands as you anxiously watched the screen in front of you. their grips on your hand tightened when they saw the members of le sserafim appear, reacting to the Dream Academy trailer. squeals and screams filled the room as everyone shared their shock but you only laughed, finding it funny that this was the way they were seeing you again for the first time since you left. lara shook your hand and told you, “i swear if we ever meet them, i’m asking them to dance fearless with you.” a bunch of the other girls around you oohed and agreed before putting their attention back on the monitor. at some point you completely zoned out, only coming back to when you heard eunchae say, “the second ANTIFRAGILE team members are “Iliya, Karlee, Samara, Megan, and Y/N.” you leaned forward and looked at them with a big smile, nodding in agreement over your excitement to be teamed together.

the five of you sat on the floor of the practice room and started talking about the song choice, karlee starting off with explaining how she wanted this song more. you all nodded in agreement and the other girls chimed in talking about their worries and what they were most excited for. after a moment the conversation stopped and all eyes were on you, “what?” your teammates laughed at you and you admitted, “i mean like…i’m not that nervous guys. i’ve done this performance in the shower a bunch so i meannnn…plus if i flop yunjin called me pretty so-” the girls around you fell over laughing and karlee pointed out, “dude she literally knows you.” in return you playfully glared and held your hand out, “can you let me have my moment?” megan and samara laughed even harder while iliya covered her face though her giggles. you all divided up your parts evenly, you getting kazhua’s part because of the leg extension, and megan insisting yours looked better when you couldn’t tell much of a difference.

Throughout the practices you were given the dance leadership role which you tried to avoid but it was inevitable given your trainee history. there were little to no breaks, an incredible amount of jet lag, and a time crunch of only a few days before your performance. the pressure was certainly there and you could feel it especially with the weight of being an ex- HYBE trainee and the leader of your group. hours passed with you all in the practice room, your trainer comforting iliya as she cried out of stress and exhaustion combined with her own self doubt. you patted her shoulder and told her, “it’s okay…i cried yesterday in the shower and almost drowned in my tears and the shower water because i breathed through my nose.” the younger girl couldn’t help but laugh and you did too seeing the smile return to her face.

*meanwhile*

“We’re watching them react to us watching their trailer and mission announcement.” chaewon and yunjin explained to their members in their van. the girls huddled around the ipad and a smile tugged at all of their faces when they saw you amongst your teammates. they watched closely, listening to all of your members speak their worries until it was your turn to talk which caused all of them to laugh, especially your banter with karlee. yunjin murmured, “i didn’t know i missed her this much.” chaewon side eyed her discreetly while eunchae and kazuha stifled a laugh. they then sent chaewon inside the practice room to pose as a staff member to record a tiktok for you and the rest of the contestants. when you all were in line you noticed how she was more covered than the rest of the staff members in the room. you narrowed your eyes, and then it was your turn aside Manon. when you made it to the front you just knew, but you only smiled and danced, the only person who also knew was chaewon herself when you winked.

chaewon pulled off her mask and hood, “surprise!” the other girls screamed in excitement, only getting louder when the other idols walked in soon after. you ended up with marquise clinging to your side with her hands over her face. yunjin then started speaking in english, “we heard you all were practicing our songs right?” they all nodded and she added, “we’re so excited to see you guys, it’s crazy that we’re meeting you in this practice room. yunjin asked the contestants, “did you all expect it?” the girls overlapped one another with refusing responses to which the black haired girl responded, “we thought it’d be obvious…so we were like we should prank you.” the girls once again reacted with laughing and squeals which yunjin took the opportunity to make louder, “wait i think i know all of your names though.”

Everyone straightened out into a more clear line and yunjin looked down the line and asked, “Iliya, right?” your teammate nodded and yunjin continued, “and Ezrela. Sophia, Emily, Celeste, Karlee, Marquise, Y/N-” there was a difference in her tone when she said your name, a different smile on her face, until you deadpanned, “No.” there was a second of complete silence before you burst out laughing and said, “no i’m kidding i’m sorry. do your thing.” yunjin and her members all laughed too, chaewon immediately mimicking you quietly, “no.” the black haired girl then said, “she always does this.” your teammates all laughed and nodded in agreement earning a satisfied smile from you. yunjin continued, “sorry ok- um Y/N, Megan, Brooklyn, Lara, Lexie, Samara, Daniela, Manon, Mei, aaaand Ua. Aaaand Nayoung, Yoonchae. Right?” everyone cheered and clapped and she explained, “because i see you guys so much on like TikTok, YouTube, and everything!” you all turned into each other giggling and smiling until it was time to perform for the girls with your mission teams.

Your team went first, you gathering your girls into a small huddle and telling them quietly, “just relax. we got this. alright come on, eat it up?” your teammates said in unison, “no dinner!” you laughed at the phrase you taught them on the first day, still using it now. while performing you had your nerves, especially knowing that the idols in front of you had seen your practice videos, one of which included you crying, something they’d never seen in the two years they knew you. while performing you kept your eyes on your old friends, primarily the one who still held a piece of your heart. the hours of practicing and endless stretching to get kazuha’s leg extension perfect paid off when you saw the look on all five of their faces when you did the move.

Iliya stood beside you as you were between her and samara while le sserafim gave you all feedback as two teams. chaewon pointed out samara, praising her for the eye contact she made opposed to looking into the mirror, a common mistake amongst trainees during evaluations. kazuha looked at you and said, “y/n, your leg extension was so good! honestly you could just take my place next time we perform because you were that good.” you laughed and thanked her, sending a fond smile her way, the same one that always brought her comfort after long practices. samara tickled your leg and you playfully swatted her hand away, making her giggle quietly. when you thought one of the girls would now talk to the two teams as a whole, yunjin turned her attention to you. yunjin looked you dead in the eye, pulling a smile onto your previously stoic face. she told you, “y/n. i know from the practice videos you were worried about being leader, looking at everything to the smallest detail. but everything you did for your teammates paid off because you’re perfe- your team was perfect.” everyone in the room ouuuuu-ed which made you cover your face in slight embarrassment, yunjin doing the same. she then added, “and karlee i know you weren’t feeling well but you literally killed it…and team A, you guys chose your name right because you slayed.” the four girls burst into laughter and you all thanked the girls for their feedback before heading back to your seats, not before you sent a wink yunjin’s way which she instinctively made a heart with her hands back to you. when you sat back down you were sandwiched between lara and megan, both of whom whispered together, “you’re perfecttttt” then made the same hearts with their hands to you that yunjin did. you playfully scoffed and hoped they couldn’t feel your body getting hot with embarrassment as they teased you.

after everyone finished their performances you all had the chance to ask the girls for anything you wanted to know. you were the first to raise your hand, “i think a big worry of us, as in all 19 of us is that we are now in a place where this is competition. all of us want to do well individually but even more than that we want one another to succeed so we can make it to the end together. it’s a given that the group won’t be 19 members. so knowing that eventually we will be sending home many of our best friends, sisters, soulmates… or whatever- like what can we do or tell ourselves so we don’t end up just dwelling on that fact? how can we keep going after dealing with that over and over?” yunjin nodded in understanding and responded genuinely, “wow that is a big question. there is like a motto that i live by where i just try my best to believe that everything happens for a reason. you all met for a reason, and you’re together for a reason…and i think goodbyes are unfortunately inevitable-” it was at this point that you realized she was staring directly at you. yunjin caught herself staring and looked away as she continued, “ but i think that is part of growing. and just the fact that you all collectively have this kind of worry is very touching and i kind of like teared up a little inside because it’s very hard to meet people who both support you while also maintaining your own individual driving force. i think it’s just kind of making every experience and opportunity…it’s important to continue rooting each other on. i think that’s the best way to keep going forward just knowing you know-” again her eyes found yours, “just knowing that even if you’re not together one day you will end up seeing each other again.” now there was a smile on her face as she looked at you, looking away to make it less obvious, “that’s what happened to me actually. I had practiced for quite a few years but after debuting and working my best in the end we came full circle and they were also doing their best so in the end we met.” she looked back at only you, “just take this time and make as many memories and relationships as you can. don’t be afraid of the pain that comes with having to let someone go because you can use that to get to where you want to be.” she paused then spoke as if you were the only other one in the room, “because look where we are now y/n.” you nodded and the four idols around yunjin ouuuu-ed making the rest of the contestants giggle. eunchae quietly remarked, “this just got really personal…” everyone laughed as yunjin slapped her leg lightly and brooklyn beside you started poking your side.

a few seats down from you sophia spoke up, “i should have went before y/n because my question is gonna sound unserious…chaewon, how do you like blink on the beat in Antifragile because every time i do it i look like i got a bug in my eye?” everyone erupted into laughter and sophia added, “i’m so serious guys i look so dumb doing it!” which only made everyone laugh harder. chaewon stood up and danced the specific part before motioning for sophia do to it with her, then by herself. the idol praised your friend, “yes! you got it!” everyone clapped and sophia ran happily back to her seat with her face a light shade of pink. ezrela raised her hand, “so in your choreographies you all do a lot of like hand holding, and so like…how do you all not miss each others hands?” the idols in front of you all laughed and eunchae explained, we just have to trust each other like you go up i go down. we talk about it like that in advance and you have to hold the hands tight. even if one hand slips off, the others should hold them tight to prevent the accident.” ezrela nodded in understanding and laughed while thanking eunchae for her reply.

right when you thought everyone was going to be done asking questions, lara raised her hand, “i have a request but you all can say no.” all five idols looked at her intently and your friend asked, “can you dance to fearless with y/n?” all of your teammates immediately cheered and your old friends looked at each other with smiles. they agreed and despite you refusing, yunjin stood up and pulled you over, engulfing you in a hug first. kazuha took off her heels and joined you her members on the floor. your friends were all giggling along, especially when they noticed yunjin had her hand slipped into yours, fingers intertwined. meanwhile the idols looked at you and you asked, “second chorus to the end? the debut formations?” they nodded and chaewon said, “from 겁이 난 없지, 없지” you nodded and found your place and let the music play. from this part of the song you were in the center, a smile on your face nobody had seen on you thus far. during the refrain everyone of your teammates saw the way yunjin looked up at you while she faced them, like you were the only girl in the world. the six of you danced to the end and when the song stopped everyone clapped and the five girls pulled you into a long and tight hug. when you all parted each of them hugged you individually, sakura first.

the eldest told you with a fond smile, “i’m so proud of you y/n. i can’t wait for your debut.” kazuha spoke up next, “i’m wishing for your debut, unnie.” chaewon squeezed you tightly, “i’m so happy to know you didn’t give up. i’m so proud of you y/n.” eunchae pulled you into a hug, “i missed you so much unnie. i’m happy we got to see each other like this.” yunjin was last, and she mumbled into your shoulder, “come see me tonight?” you murmured back quietly, “mhm.” she grinned as she pulled away while you tried to hide the look of joy from your face. everyone thanked le sserafim and said their goodbyes before you all got a quick break, mostly for cameras to be moved and reset. the second you were alone with manon, your closest friend, she asked all knowing, “so when are you seeing her?” you tried to play it off but she knew you too well already, so you caved, “tonight.”

#kpop fanfic #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #kpop imagines #girl group fluff #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #girl group reactions #lesserafim reactions #lesserafim imagines #le sserafim scenarios #le sserafim imagines #huh yunjin #yunjin x reader #huh yunjin x reader #dream academy

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daceydeath · 10 months

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A Work Proposal (Part 15)

Pairing: Changbin x reader x Felix

Word Count: 2.5K

Genre: Smut 🔞

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, swearing, unprotected sex (don't be idiots), fingering, pet names

You had been working with Stray Kids for a while now and after a long day at work turns into a very unexpected but intriguing proposal. Will this change your world or end your career?

This was the first time you had ever left the country on an actual world tour, sure you had travelled with the kids to Japan on the occasion but this was a non stop for weeks at a time which was all new to you. Sure you knew the schedule back to front and start to finished because you had helped with the entire almost military operation it took to organize it but to actually be going along for the ride was not something you had ever done. The first few shows had been an intense burst of emotions, hopes, dreams and achievements and you could not have been prouder at how hard the kids had worked or how well it had all worked. But now sitting on a plane to head to Japan knowing you were going to be away for the better part of 2 months you were nervous of not only what might go wrong with the schedule but what might happen with your involvement in their lives as well as with their work.

All the stage crew and band had flown ahead so that things could be set up and ready to go and so far they stage crew had said that everything was running to schedule. The make up, costume and hair crew and half on the managers were on the next flight out and you were now sitting beside Chan feeling like there was something that you had missed.

"You are more nervous than the rest of us and it's our tour" Chan chuckled easily pulling his headphone out of his ear.

"I'm worried that its not going to be perfect" you sighed leaning back in the seat watching as some of the others took their plane selfies for Bubble and got themselves comfortable.

"It will be no matter what happens, we all know how hard you worked for us so it will be amazing" he sighed nudging you with his shoulder so that it didn't seem to friendly, you weren't taking chances with the other managers and flight crew around.

"So have you worked out your hotel room schedule?" you asked quietly looking at your tablet to check if there was anything you needed to do before you landed "Han told me you were working on some sort of who shares with who schedule".

"Of course he tells you that" Chan laughed loudly making it look like you two were laughing at something on your tablet "We thought if we just decided where you were all the time that would be a bit shitty of us".

"Because you are going to be exhausted and need rest after each show?" you mused knowing that at least with him that was never going to happen.

"No because you are your own person and you should be able to decide who you are with too not just be passed around like a toy, none of us ever want you to be hurt again because of any of us, you mean too much to us" he whispered seriously his voice soft as though he really needed you to understand how much they all cared.

"I know I'm not Channie" you smiled trying your hardest to not lean in and kiss his soft plump lips as you met his eyes looking at you so affectionately "I know that you all care for me".

"More than just care" he whispered his eyes flicking to your lips before he shook his head a little and moved himself back from you to prevent himself giving in to the exact same need you were feeling. Sighing you went back to your endless checking up on the schedule and making sure that in the few hours until you land the extra security you had arranged would be ready and in position to keep the kids safe. You didn't want to run any chances of anyone falling or getting injured by people who seemed to not be able to tell what was and wasn't appropriate when faced with seeing their favorite idol in the flesh.

When the plane touched down in Tokyo you were relieved staff were already making their way through security and immigration to collect everyone's bags, the head of the security that you had arranged was waiting for you and the fans in the terminal were, for the moment at least, brilliantly behaved. You made your way through the international terminal fairly easily hoping that the same level of respect would be maintained once you got into the general public section of the terminal, but you were faced with more fans than you expected. The kids were kept safe but the three guards you had asked for each member but it was the sheer small area of space that you were given to get through that was making you feel very uneasy especially when it came to the point you needed to form a single file to get through, you had been walking beside Chan most of the time keeping an eye out for all of the members in front of you but when Chan placed his hand on your lower back to move you in front of him to now keep you safe you knew that you were going to be scrutinized by Stay.

Stepping into the car you felt a sense of relief as Chan sat behind you beside Changbin and Felix dropped himself next to you while Seungmin sat in front of you.

"Is it always that...intense?" you asked nervously knowing that you would get a straight answer from them more than the other staff members.

"No sometimes it's worse" Changbin hummed his hand on Felix's shoulder.

"Ok good to know, I'll be more prepared next time" you sighed pressing your cool hands to your warm cheeks.

"Are you alright Jagi?" Felix mumbled taking his hand and placing against your forehead to check you.

"I'm alright Felix, I just don't like large crowds, makes me nervous" you smiled softly as he pouted softly lacing his fingers with yours once you lowered them from your face.

"We will keep you in the middle of us then to keep you safe" Seungmin smiled sweetly turning to look at you as you nodded knowing that you were never going to let that happen.

"We have two hours before your first sound check so that we can ensure everything is working then you have the night off before it all begins tomorrow" you announced knowing that the others in the second van were probably being told the same thing.

"So we have tonight?" Felix repeated

"Yes, you can go out and grab dinner, work out, write, rest or whatever just don't go missing or I will cry" you joked easily as the other two managers in the van chuckled along. Arriving at the hotel you went up to your room to shower and change before you made the solo trip to the venue to go over everything before the soundcheck started. The band had been set up and the stage crew had assure that the stage was safe as well as the confetti guns, streamer cannons and that the risers and stage doors were exactly to specification so all you really needed to do was the sign off before the boys tested it fully. Chan messaged you to say that they were leaving for the venue and would be there soon so you decided to wait for them in the designated rooms that had been set up for them.

"No one got lost" he grinned as he walked in followed by the other kids.

"Thank god, that would have been so much paperwork" you sighed dramatically as Chan sat next to you on the couch to look over your notes on the venue.

"Changbin and Felix want you tonight is that ok?" he whispered lowly to keep from being overheard.

"And they couldn't ask because?" you teased looking around to see if any of the managers were around.

"Because I said I would talk to you about it, and that you are already stressed about this tour you do not have to feel like you are required to stay with us every night you need rest too" he smiled wryly.

"I know that Chan and I will make sure to take care of myself too" you promised smiling at him softly.

"I'll let them know you will swing by their room later" Chan chuckled softly.

Knocking on the hotel room door seemed slightly odd considering that Chan and Lee Know's was across the hall and two doors down was their managers room. But the door swung open before you could give it much more thought and Changbin welcomed you in wearing a tight black tee that had you almost drooling as he allowed you to walk passed him into the room.

"Lixie is going to start us off baby, you want that?" Changbin whispered huskily against the shell of your ear, his broad chest pressed against your back. You couldn't help the shiver that ran down your spine as Felix grinned at you his eyes looking too innocent for what was about to happen.

"Come here Jagi" Felix purred holding his hand out to you which you took instantly letting him guide you to him to kiss you softly as he began undressing you slowly letting each piece of clothing fall to the floor around you messily while he kissed you all over.

"Felix" you gasped as he began nipping at your neck gently enough to not leave any marks on you but enough to make you skin burn for him.

"Lay down for me Jagi, I'm going to make you feel good" he mumbled against your skin as he helped you onto the bed.

"Once you get our baby to cum she's all mine" Changbin groaned as Felix ran his hands softly over your skin making you whimper in pleasure, his mouth moving to catch one of your nipples between his lips. His fingertips continued to tease you as the got closer and closer to your core seemingly happy to leave small marks on your chest as he worked you up gradually. When Felix finally pressed his fingers to your clit you moaned quietly making Felix's breath hitch your half closed eyes looking up at him.

"You're so cute Jagi" he cooed softly pressing his lips to your throat as you arched into him. Your breaths already coming out is soft pants as his talented fingers got you closer to your orgasm almost embarrassingly fast as you continued to moan and whimper at his movements.

"Relax baby, let Lixie make your stress go away" Changbin hummed from the end of the bed where he was sitting watching Felix's fingers circle you clit and your folds get wetter the closer you got.

"Lix, mmm" you mumbled your eyes glazed as you let your mind focus on the feeling of his lips on your skin and the pleasure pulsing through you while you ground your hips into his hand.

"So pretty Jagi, so pretty" he whispered biting gently at your breast and licking and sucking on the skin to sooth it.

"Lixie!" you cried your high crashing over you as you arched off the bed again his fingers slowing but not stopping to help you through your high.

"Such a good girl" Changbin groaned watching your slit glisten in the low light.

"So beautiful Jagi" Felix murmured against your lips as he kissed you softly before moving away and letting Changbin loom over you.

"All ready for me then" he smirked spreading your thighs even wider and hooking your legs over his shoulders before rubbing the tip of his cock along your folds. You gazed up at him your mouth falling open as he pushed into you even after your orgasm the feeling of being full of his cock was enough to almost sting. Changbin set a deep yet steady pace to begin with letting you feel every ridge and vein of his length as your tits bounced for him the coil in your belly starting to form again as he watched every expression you made.

"I'm going to fuck you until all you can think of is my cock baby" he smirked picking up his pace and thrusting faster into you making you gasp and mewl.

"Changbin" you whimpered as he picked up his pace again his fingers starting to massage your clit in time with his hips making you see stars, you know at this rate your going to cum again long before he does but you can't stop yourself from hurtling closer as you turned your head to find Felix slowly tugging his cock watching the spot where Changbin is disappearing inside you.

"Eyes on me baby" Changbin coos gently making you turn your head back to meet his heated gaze "Fuck you are so gorgeous like this" your eyes glazed over as your high washed over you making your walls tighten around his cock as he pulled himself from you but continued to play with your clit to let your pleasure continue washing over you.

"Changbin?" you mumbled dazed by your own pleasure and confused why he had pulled out of you when you were sure he hadn't finished.

"I'm here baby, I'm not done with this perfect pussy yet don't worry" he soothed sheathing himself into your still trembling walls. "How are you still this tight?" he groaned snapping his hips into you again making your eyes roll back in your head. Your mind could only focus on the feeling of Changbin filling you, the sound of skin smacking against skin and the sounds of Changbin and Felix's pants and groans.

"You alright Jagi?" Felix murmured letting go of his dick to crouch down beside you sweeping your hair from your sweat dampened skin. You nodded slowly not able to even form words as his fingers grazed down your cheek to your neck making you arch your back and let a nonsensical noise come from your throat.

"I don't think she can speak anymore Bin" he smirked turning his head to meet Changbin's eyes as he continued to fuck you deeply although a little slower as he moved back to where he was sitting and letting Changbin continue to fuck you into the mattress.

"Such a good girl, getting all cock drunk for me" he groaned sliding his fingers back down your leg to start pinching and rolling your puffy clit between his fingers softly making you keen loudly as another orgasm washed over you tears flowing from your eyes as you blankly started up at him your eyes to blurred with tears to even see him clearly. Another few thrusts and Changbin emptied himself inside you painting your walls white with his seed before gently pulling himself from your completely spent body.

Felix was instantly at your side stroking your skin and praising you while Changbin went into the bathroom to grab a warm wash cloth to clean you up. Together they carefully cleaned your swollen slit and wiped your tears before laying you in the large bed between them holding you closely until you began to slowly come back around.

"Didn't take care of Lix" you eventually half slurred turning your head to look at the angelic blond beside you.

"There is always the morning jagi" Felix smiled dazingly leaning forward to kiss your nose.

"Rest baby we've got you" Changbin chuckled putting your hair softly as your eyes fluttered shut again.

a/n: Thank you for reading and supporting me you are the greatest readers in the world xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @symptoms-of-moonlight, @septicrebel, @ayoitschannie, @krishastumblernow, @tangerminie, @elizalabs3, @armystay89, @septemberkisses, @stay-bi, @seolarflare, @damnyouficc, @eastleighsblog, @wohaku, @bakedlilgoonie, @roamingpolar, @tara-skyhold, @spacegirlstuff, @queenmea604, @fawnpeaks, @3rachasninja, @mrsseals16, @leeknowinggg, @hyunlixsbbygirl, @obeythemasters, @tanzen-ist-gold, @freckleboilix, @junebug032 @hellothisisprincesskitty

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anakin-pilled · 4 months

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𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴 - anakin skywalker x fem! reader (part two)

pairing: anakin skywalker x fem! reader

wordcount: 4.7k

warnings: no use of y/n

rating: rating: 18+ (my blog is 18+ only)

author's note: thank you so much to everyone who liked and reblogged the first chapter! it meant so much to me. i cant believe i managed to push out two chapters in a week!! this chapter might seem slow, but only because im still new to writing fanfics and im trying to find the right groove of things, but please be patient as i hope to fasten the pace and tension with the new few chapters. as always, proofread but please let me know if you see any mistakes and feel free to nicely provide any criticism or suggestions (pls). i really want to keep everything as canon compliant to the star wars universe (minus the timeline, that's unspecified), but i decided to take some creative liberties for minor cultural and geographic details. i get most of my information from wookiepedia or the star wars reddit, so if you have any questions about anything, i'm happy to send any links. okay im gonna stop yapping now. taglist at the bottom! creds to saradika for the header!

You couldn’t bear another moment of dinner with Anakin. Something about him set your nerves on fire and left you completely unsettled–in a good way, a way that you’ve rarely felt before. But it was a way that you didn’t know how to deal with, and this deeply troubled you. How were you going to spend the next ten rotations with him? It sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. You doubted Anakin would do anything wrong. No, you would be the one to do something wrong. Totally embarrassing yourself in front of him or unintentionally acting off-putting just because you found him too attractive.

Dammit, you were thinking like a schoolgirl with a crush.

After retreating to your quarters, you began to pace around your room. You had to get yourself out of this situation. Avoidance was always your favorite escape plan. It made life simpler when you avoided anything that made you uncomfortable or anxious. You weren’t exactly sure how you would avoid the 6’2 hunk of a Jedi. Asking Gido to remove him was out of the question. You couldn’t have Anakin removed, especially after the Chancellor had been kind enough to request one of the Jedi’s best members. You were being immature and you knew it. It hadn’t even been a full day and this man already made you so nervous that you felt like going haywire.

You gave yourself a small facepalm. “What am I going to do?” you whispered to yourself. You needed to put distance between you and Anakin. That way you would stay as unaffected as possible. Plus, it’s not like anything could happen between you two. Anakin was a Jedi, and you knew that the Jedi had some unorthodox rules surrounding relationships. However (a small and delusional) part of you already imagined a future between the two of you. You already imagined your lips on his. A man that captivating only came around every few millennia. Well, that was hyperbolic of you to think. Even you, a celebrity with access to Coruscant’s rich and famous upper echelon, never came across a man like Anakin. When was the last time you even got fucked or had one good Holodrama kiss? Dating is hard when you’re a celebrity. You meet people with the wrong intentions–cocky men who care more about having you as some sort of trophy or are afraid of looking beneath you just because you’re more rich than them. Plus, aside from the shitty dating pool, you were simply too busy with your career to indulge in relationships and sex. It honestly quite was ironic considering many of your songs revolved around love.

The more you thought, the more you felt trapped in your room. An intrusive thought popped into your head, but you quickly brushed away the thought before it got you in trouble. But then the thought appeared again, and you couldn’t help but entertain what your brain was saying.

Her presence is suffocating is the first thing Anakin thought as you left the room. As a trained Jedi, Anakin mastered the practice of shielding others' thoughts and emotions from affecting him. But you were being so loud through the Force. Anakin felt the same nervous energy he felt earlier in the day when he first met you. Except this time, he felt it ten times worse.

Anakin knew he was being quiet during dinner. But it was hard to focus with your energy screaming in his ears! So, he focused on trying to enjoy his meal instead. You were nice, Anakin would give you that. But he felt if he talked to you, while also trying to stave off your energy from his, he would overwhelm himself. It was all too distracting–a feeling that Anakin rarely felt.

Anakin then proceeded toward his assigned room, ready to prepare for the night. Luckily, he didn’t have to stay on guard the entire night as there was no threat direct threat to you in Coruscant. Sleep slowly became a stranger to Anakin in the past few months, so he welcomed the guest room’s luxurious, canopy bed with an unrefined flop. He lay there for a while, though he didn’t know how for long as he just stared at the window in front of him and thought.

Anakin suddenly heard a crash! noise coming from the living room. He quickly jumped into action and ran towards the sound. What if an intruder was trying to harm you? Anakin wouldn’t let them get near you. Though he would protect you, a pang of annoyance ran through Anakin’s head. How could anyone gain access to your apartment? He went through your security details with Gido and made sure that all access points were being guarded by either a security guard or a droid. Anakin hoped this wouldn’t become another Padme situation–he wasn’t in the mood for a high-speed speeder chase tonight. Better yet, why didn’t he sense anything? Were you distracting him so much that his senses were dull? Anakin couldn’t have that happening if you were both to survive the next ten rotations together.

As Anakin reached your living room and investigated the sound, he saw what object made the sound he heard. His eyes first laid sight on a broken flower vase. The turquoise vase was shattered into a million pieces on the floor. Anakin then looked at the figure next to the broken pottery and there you were, dressed in a dark robe, halfway to the entrance of your apartment. A look of shock, then brief fear and then embarrassment, went through your eyes when you saw Anakin standing before you with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows raised.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Anakin questioned you with a glare. His voice had a deep edge to it. He was relieved that there was no intruder, but he wondered what you were doing. If he didn’t know any better, Anakin would say that it looked like you were in the middle of trying to leave your apartment. Except, Anakin did know better so he knew that was exactly what you were trying to do. The dark robes were a telltale sign of this–it disguised your figure and the hood covered a majority of your face.

You cleared your throat before putting on a tight-lipped smile, “Oh, I was just trying to night walk in the gardens before going to bed.”

“The gardens? I thought they were closed for renovations. That’s what Gido told me.” There was a slight smirk on Anakin’s face as he replied. He knew he had you.

“Not for me. I have special access…you know, the building manager is a fan of mine. Perks of being famous.” You felt slimy using that as an excuse, but it was better than letting the Jedi know your true intentions.

“Really?” Anakin admired you for doubling down on your lie, but once again, he could sense your energy through the force. You were hesitant, like you weren’t fully convinced of what you were saying either. Anakin continued, “Then why are you wearing such a thick robe? The weather has been warm lately, even at night. Don’t you think that you would sweat too much?”

You chuckled nervously before saying, “I sweat all the time.” You quickly shook your head. Kriff that’s not what I meant! you cursed in your head. “I mean I’m used to sweating during practice and performances so it does not bother me too much. I felt chilly which is why I decided to wear my robe on my walk. Please excuse me for disturbing you, General. I must have been in such a rush that I accidentally knocked over this vase. I assure you that I did not intend to raise any alarm.”

“It looks like you were sneaking out to me. Is that why you feel so tense right now? You know, we Jedi can sense emotion. I can sense that you’re not being truthful. There’s no lying to me, pop star.” Anakin replied smoothly.

You shook your head. It looks like your plan of trying to put distance between you and Anakin wasn’t going to work after all. You should have known–how could you outsmart a Jedi? It was easy to sneak out with your regular security staff, but Anakin was different.

“I apologize. You’re right. I wasn’t going to take a walk in the gardens. I thought I could visit the night market on level 3204, the Alderaan district. I just needed to clear my head. I didn’t tell because I didn’t think there would be an issue since I was going to keep my identity hidden.” Anakin noted how your apology sounded genuine.

“Level 3204. Isn’t that a bit far from you? I never suspected that you would stray anywhere past the 5000th level,” said Anakin. When people on Coruscant managed to achieve enough wealth to live on the 5000th level of Coruscant, it was very rare that they ventured anywhere below. The only people that ventured below were those dealing in shady business. That’s not to say that the 3000th level was necessarily bad–he knew that the lower levels were a mixture of the classes ranging from middle-class families to criminals. Anakin had been to almost all the levels of Corscant while on Jedi business. He had seen the most impoverished slums, where crime was rampant and everyone fended for themselves. Yet, he had also seen the richest that Coruscant had to offer–elegant restaurants, opulent theaters, and people dressed in the most expensive fabrics. It always amazed Anakin how in the capital city of the Republic, one of the richest planets in the galaxy, could house such a dichotomy.

You took offense to Anakin’s words. What did he know about you? Sure, you were wealthy and privileged, but that didn’t mean you had to confine yourself to a small circle of society. You enjoyed visiting what Coruscant had to offer–the different cultures, species, etc. It may have been unconventional for someone of your status, but your parents raised you with humility. Anything you earned in this life could be taken away from you at any moment, so you tried your best to explore and enjoy everything while you still could.

Now you weren’t thinking about this annoyingly handsome face or soft curls. You were thinking about how he pissed you off. Just another person making assumptions about who I am. Your eyes narrowed before dignifying Anakin with a response, “And where is it that I belong? Please enlighten me. What? Do you think just because I am rich, I wouldn’t dare mingle with anyone in a lower class than me?”

“That’s not how I intended my words to come across.”

“How did you mean for your words to come across?” Anakin felt your energy shift. You were no longer hesitant or nervous.

“What I mean is that it is unorthodox for celebrities to venture anywhere below Coruscant’s surface. It’s not exactly the most celebrity-friendly place. I would know as I’ve to the 3000th level several times before,” Anakin explained.

“Well, I’m an unorthodox person then. I’ll let you know that I enjoy the night market in the Alderaan district, it has good food and honest people. Now, you can either accompany me or stay here and make more assumptions about me. Whatever you choose, I will still be attending the night market. Feel free to tell Gido.” You turned around and continued walking toward your front door before you were stopped by Anakin.

“Kriff. You’re not going to make this easy, huh? Fine. I’m going with you to the market because it’s my duty to protect you, but don’t try anything.”

You first discovered this night market in Coruscant’s Alderaan district only a few months into your arrival on the planet. Your fame had not skyrocketed yet, so you could easily travel between Coruscant’s levels without being chased by HoloNet reporters or crazy fans. You stumbled upon the market one night while lost on level 3204. It was a serendipitous moment for you. The night market operated every night and was primarily inhabited by Alderaanian expats, however, there were a few stalls run by species from exotic planets who sold even more exotic goods and foods. At the time you discovered it, you were feeling homesick and lonely. Your home planet of Bar’leth was nothing like Coruscant. Though Bar’leth had some metropolitan cities, it also had greenery and fauna. And the population wasn’t nearly as dense as Coruscant! You grew up in Bar’leth’s capital city, but you could still name your neighbors and there was a sense of community. Coruscant had none of these features. The night market was more than just a market, it reminded you of a tiny piece of home in the most bustling place in all of the galaxy.

The familiar smell of grilled bantha skewers and roasted pormork flooded your senses. The area was decorated with a mixture of bright, fluorescent neon lighting and the warm, cozy light from twinkle lights from the vendor’s stalls. Light music played in the background from a live band playing in a corner somewhere. Though the market was mainly filled with adults, the occasional child and their family were seen. You and Anakin walked at a comfortable place in the middle of the road. Neither of you was talking, just observing the scene around you. You observed how people interacted with each other and made up life stories for them in your head. Anakin observed for any potential danger.

“I’m sorry for snapping on you earlier. I hate when people make assumptions about who I am. It’s a sensitive spot for me. You know, with my name always in the tabloids,” it was you who decided to speak first.

Anakin listened before responding, “Maybe I was wrong to make those assumptions about you.” He still thought it was odd that you wanted to venture so below the surface, but if there was one thing that Anakin understood, it was your disdain for assumptions. As the Chosen One, everyone made assumptions about Anakin—assumptions he should act or think. And somehow, Anakin always failed to live up to people’s assumptions of him. There were very few people in his life who accepted him the way he was. This was another point of contention in his life.

Instead of letting this event take place in a silent awkwardness like dinner, you decided to make an effort to keep the conversation going. Anakin didn’t directly apologize, but you took his words to be a positive sign. “I know it must be a shock to you that I wanted to visit this market. And you were partially right to judge, who would suspect that I stray far from my life on the surface? The truth is, no one would expect that from me which is exactly why I do what I do. Not even Gido knows that I come down here.”

“What makes this specific place worth sneaking out for? Aren’t there any other places you would rather be than down here?” Anakin asked this question sincerely. He was curious about you. While he was no stranger to Coruscant’s rich elite, the people he met were confined the the political sector. He knew how politicians acted and their thought processes, but he knew nothing about the other type of elite—the celebrities, like you.

“It reminds me of home, and the simple days I used to live before the glitz and glamour. There was a farmer’s market on Bar’leth I frequented with my family. There was local produce, lots of gourmet food, and trinkets of all kinds. I stumbled upon this market by happenstance one day and I never stopped visiting it ever since,” you explain truthfully. You loved the life you lived now and you were extremely grateful for it. But nothing could compare to your old life when you could enjoy the simple pleasures of life without any care in the world. Nowadays life barely gives you a chance to breathe since you were always working on something–whether it is new music, media appearances, or special performances. “You know, you’re actually the first person I have told about this place. You better keep it a secret, or else.” Anakin could tell you were joking by the smile on your face. He returned your joke with a small smile of his own.

You continued the conversation by asking Anakin a question of his own, “Don’t you have a special place that you like to visit when life gets too hectic?”

Anakin’s automatic response was to give you a generic answer. Before he could give you that generic answer, he changed his mind. He knew that was too guarded, but he couldn’t help himself. Anakin had been hurt too many times now–hurt by life, by his actions, and by the actions of others. Opening up was a recipe for disaster, especially when Anakin knew how passionately he felt about almost everything in his life. The only person Anakin managed to completely open up to was Padme, but even she was off-put sometimes by the level of passion and truthfulness he displayed. She never verbally admitted it, but Anakin could tell. Though you two didn’t know each other very well and have had minimal conversation so far, something about your energy invited Anakin to open up. Your energy in the force was serene. However, it wasn’t the type of serenity that Anakin felt whenever he was at the Temple. At the Temple, it was so peaceful, it was almost like it was devoid of any energy–it perfectly balanced all the energies of all the Jedi order and created a feeling of equilibrium. Your energy was serene in a way that reminded Anakin of his mother–comforting and warm. He could feel it radiating off your person. Ever since Anakin left with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, he could never sense that same energy in anyone else. Not even Padme, whose energy was more dynamic and loud. Thus, Anakin decided to be honest with his answer.

“There is a place that I like to escape to sometimes. It is located in a secluded corner of the Jedi temple and only accessible through the garden wing. I used to go there all the time as a Youngling and then a Padawan. It has the best view of Coruscant since it faces the intersection where the old Republic Theater house and Senate offices meet. On clear days, you can watch the sunset from there.” Anakin didn’t know that the Senate offices were in that direction until a few years after he moved to Coruscant. Once he found out Padme had stepped down as queen and became Naboo’s senator, he would stare at that intersection as a way to feel closer to Padme during their years apart. Despite the breakup, the spot still comforted Anakin because it served as a reminder of how far he had come. He was no longer a lovesick fool and rambunctious Padawan, but a mature and fully-fledged Jedi Knight. Through the transitional nature of life, that spot would always be there for Anakin.

It was your turn to nod and listen to Anakin.

“How was it like…growing up in the Temple?,” you hesitated, not wanting to overstep any boundaries with Anakin. You remember how the tone of his voice earlier when you questioned him about Tatooine.

“Growing up in the temple was…different. When I first arrived, I didn’t realize I would be living in a religious organization. There’s a lot about the Jedi that was very different from the life I lived on Tatooine. Though I can’t complain too much, I had a permanent roof over my head and food on my plate every day. And, there was practically no sand at all. The best part,” Anakin finished.

“I imagine it’s like one big family, no?”

Anakin sucked his teeth in response before continuing, “Since I arrived at the Temple later than the normal age, I didn’t grow up with my crèche. We had lessons together every now and then, but if there was anybody I considered like family to be in the Temple, it would be my former master Obi-Wan, and my Padawan Ashoka. She’s actually a fan—I promised her I would try to get an autograph.” Anakin looked sheepish at the mention of the autograph.

“Remind me before you leave. I’ll make sure to sign something. Should I sign her lightsaber?” You made sure to make a serious face while looking at Anakin. Then, you let out a giggle. “I’m only kidding about the last part. Come on, let’s get something sweet.” Your pace picked up before leading Anakin in another direction.

You stopped by a stall owned by an older Twi’lek lady who sold homemade rishi honeystix. The honeystix quickly became your favorite item at the market because of its’ sweet flavor and crispy batter. They were similar to a childhood favorite snack of yours, except the rishi honeystix was fried, not baked.

“Can I have two honeystix please?” you asked the owner. She nodded yes before you handed her over the credits, adding some extra for a tip. The owner quickly prepared the dessert before handing it to you and sending a warm smile to both.

“Enjoy the sweet treat! I love seeing young couples like you visit the market,” she stated with a look of adoration on her face.

You and Anakin straightened your postures and sent a sheepish smile to the owner.

“Oh, we’re not-” “She’s not my-” You both said at the same time.

The owner giggled out an apology before turning her back on the both of you and preoccupied herself with preparing more food.

Her comment affected you more than you would have liked to admit. You couldn’t say you wished you were dating Anakin, you hard knew him after all. But the idea of someone mistaking you to be in a relationship with someone as attractive as Anakin made you feel a funny feeling. You felt a moment of giddy before telling yourself to calm down.

You led Anakin toward an old fountain that sat in the middle of the market. “Ever tried these before? They’re the best! I don’t come here too often anymore, but whenever I do, I make an effort to buy these.” You then handed Anakin his dessert.

“I don’t think I have had these before. The Jedi diet consists of the Temple’s cantina food and whatever rations we have for off-world assignments. Though I try to explore new foods when I have the chance,” Anakin stated. He picked up the dessert and observed it. Anakin didn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but he was intrigued by its flavor. A sweet aroma wafted off the dessert and even Anakin felt tempted to try it.

You were looking toward the distance as Anakin inspected the dessert. You were about to take a bit of your honeystix when you made eye contact with a small figure in the distance. As your eyes focused on the figure, you realized you were looking at a young Rodian child. Their gaze shifted from your eyes to the dessert in hand. Despite the Alderaanian district being one of the more wealthy districts in the lower levels, many families still lived in borderline poverty. You smiled at the child in reassurance before getting up from the fountain and slowly making your way towards them.

Anakin looked up at the sound of your figure getting up and was about to ask you where you were going before he saw you walk to a child and kneel before them. He couldn’t hear what you were saying, but he saw you hand over your honeystix to the child. You hugged the child goodbye, but not before handing them a few extra credits. The child’s purple eyes widened and a bright smile appeared on their face. They gave you another hug before retreating to wherever they came from.

You got back up from the ground and walked back toward the fountain without saying anything to Anakin. You continued like nothing happened and asked Anakin, “Did you enjoy it?”

He ignored your question. “What was that about?” He was referring to the instance in which you gave away your dessert to a child.

“I saw the little one looking at my food, so I decided to go over there and offer it to them. I could tell she was hungry. It’s alright, I can always buy myself another.”

Anakin always believed that you could tell a lot about a society or individuals based on the way they treated children. He hated Tatooine and regarded it as one of the lowest civilized planets in the entire galaxy–for many reasons, of course, but the primary reason is that those on Tatooine had no issue trafficking children into slavery and treating them as chattel. He wished that more people displayed kindness toward him as a child. Anakin’s only crime was being born into the world, but aside from that, he was innocent and deserved to be treated with dignity and humanity. You were kind. It seemed like a bare minimum requirement to be astonished at, but with the type of people Anakin has had the displeasure of meeting, kindness was a trait he rarely witnessed outside of the Temple walls.

You stared at Anakin as if you were waiting for him to say something, but he simply observed your face without saying anything. A timid look washed over your face before you turned your head to the side and blew a piece of hair out of your face.

“Well, I think it’s time we head back.”

Being with Anakin was different than you expected. At first, you were overwhelmed by his presence–caught off guard by the fact he looked like a literal god from one of those classical paintings located in one of Corucant’s largest art galleries. You’ve always had a soft spot for pretty boys. Plus, you also had a penchant for romanticizing almost every interaction and person in your life. Not always in the romantic sense though. From brief strangers to friends, you tried to put a positive spin on everyone you encountered. There was no way of telling if fate was real, but you liked to believe so. Anakin was no exception to these rules.

You were so close to successfully sneaking out of your apartment, without being detected, until you accidentally bumped into that stupid vase. Anakin came running out while you scrambled to make it look like you hadn’t been caught in the middle of doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing. You knew that if Anakin found out that you were leaving the building, he would either force you to say or contact your manager. So, you lied and tried to convince him you weren’t sneaking out. Of course, he saw through you and you gave up without a fight, until he made that stupid comment. Lying was never your strong suit anyway and it wasn’t worth the hassle anyway. So, Anakin joined you on your night adventure.

Though you were initially anxious, once to got to the market, you felt your head clear. This was your comfort place, and it soothed your racing heart and clouded mind. Once you were past that anxiousness, you found that Anakin had a calming presence, once you got over your initial nerves. Anakin was observational, though it was expected of him to be so. However, it felt like he was really listening to you and clinging to what you said. He looked pensive as you described why you liked the night market so much. You wanted to make conversation with him, you didn’t feel forced to. Maybe it was the nature of the predicament you were both and the fact that he would be your bodyguard for the next week and a half, but you felt drawn to him. You wanted to know more about who the “Hero with No Fear.” You feared that if you got to know him anymore, then you might fall for him. Except, you had to stop yourself before it went any deeper than that. Once again, you reminded yourself that Anakin was a Jedi. Off-limits. So, as you settled into bed, you promised that you would actually keep your distance. There was no use in getting attached to him. The Jedi belonged to no one.

taglist: @angie2274 @bunnylovesani @0709fullofstars @js-favnanadoongi @payton-dixonreader it wasn't letting me tag u ):

#kendra's works !!!#star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars fandom #sw fanfic #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #tcw anakin #anakin x y/n #the clone wars #darth vader #darth vader x reader #hayden christensen

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wd-ghosty · 2 months

Text

Midnight Serenade

Donnie x reader fic

I really tacky like this concept so I wanted to write about it, so basically you and donnie go on a date. I still new to writing so pls be nice, hope you enjoy <3.

It’s late winter early spring as you’re getting ready for your date, last nights flurry left some snow on your ground so it’s best to bundle up a bit. As you were putting on your shoes, you hear a knocking on the window, “Come in!” your window slides open and a turtle boy whereinga shit ton of purpel crawls in after he threw in a picnic basket.

“I was scared i was gonna be late, but i see you’re not even done yet”

“Scoff! I’m putting on my shoes so i basically am done, what happened to mr. attention to detail?”

“Heyyy i thought you hated ot when i said scoff!?”

“I have no recollection of that conversation,” he rolled his eye at your comment as he sits down on your bed. You get up to go get the drinks from your kitchen. “Common lets go.”

The two of you take a train to Clark st, then walk over to the brooklyn bridge. The two of you trot along the bridge and you’re excited to see where donnie is taking you.

“We’re here,”

“...Donnie we’re still on the bridge.”

“Exactly. You’re good at balancing on polls right?”

You face went white when he said that. You look at the belts of the bridge then you look back at donnie nodding. Your soul sinks in your stomach and the look on your face has donnie rolling around on the groud, kicking and screaming, “I’m just kidding hun.” his hover bike thing pulls up and your melanin instantly comes back.

“If you pull that shit with me again I will hop on your ass like super mario and beat you with your already shitty shell!” donnie went agaps, jaw on the groud, hand on his chest.

“Damn, I didn’t know it would scare you that much?” he laughs off his nevers as the two of you get on his bike. The two of you hop of when you get to the top of one of the tower things inbetween the belts, the city lights illuminating everything around you so you can see perfectly. As you are admiring everything around you donnie starts to set up the picnic blanket, “Wow i didn’t know you’d like it here this much.”

“What do you mean? This is so cool, you act as if you come here regularly.” he looks up at you with a smile, “... you come here regularly don’t you?”

“It’s our new favorite hangout spot, and much more discrete then rooftops.”

"Theres a really busy street right below us. what's the difference?" You sit down across from donnie on the picnic blanket and you help him take everything out of the basket,

"The difference, most people aren't looking up when they're driving. And why would they take their eyes off the busy rode?"

"Mabey they have a death wish?"

"Mabey."

You pull of the heart shaped plates and glasses out of the bag and start to gush over them, “Don’t you just LOVE these cups i got you!?”

“Yeah, i love that, including the heart shaped wicker basket, and pillows, and chocolates… I know that sounds like sarcasm, but i do love it.” as the two of you continue to unpack you see your favorite cookies, and cupcakes.

“Donnie! You didn’t!”

“Why do you sound so surprised like i dont do this all the time?”

“Its because you remembered!”

“It’s hard to forget our favorite things when we always talk about them. Every time we’re hanging out one of us just starts ranting as the other is working.”

“I love that for us, and because of that I know just how much you ACTUALLY like Atomic Lass… that and i check you search history.”

“And I yours… I shoudln’t have done that.”

“I warned you. Anyone who got quezy durring the saltburn bath tub scene, couldn’t handle whats on my laptop.” you laugh a little remebering the first time the two of you watched that, he left the room multiple times.

When the two of you were done setting up you just started talking, about whatever came to your mind. LMK, jupiter jim, the boondocks, anything you guys liked, “oh do you remember when we watched violet evergarden together for the first time?”

“Ofcourse you started crying when the episode about the littel girl came on.”

“Which one?”

“The one with the mom the wrote a bunch of letters for you daughter before she died.”

“That one was soo sad! But it was really sweet, that is what i call motherly love”

“You cry for the dumbest things hun,” he starts laughing at you but you laugh with him, “You wont cry for sad movies whatsoever but the second you relate to a character you start bawling. As far as i'm aware you mother is still alive.”

“It’s not about the dead mother! Its aboutt he dedication to her child!'' Donnie just listened to you rambling on about it, your voice is basically white noise. The amount of times he’s fallen asleep just by being around you is countless, the ease you put him at is unmatched. “and that just pulled all my heart strings!”

As the night went on the two of you purely enjoyed eachothers company, and the sweets donnie brought. As the two of you talked a sertain song came on,

But when the morning comes

We'll burn it down and then

We'll build the world again...

Our love is God.

“I forgot this song was on this playlist,” Donnie trys to skip it but you stop him,

“Remebere when we were fourteen how we did a two person play of the heaters?”

“Yeah what abo- ohhh” donnie gets up on his feet, “you remember the lyrics right?” he holds out his hand for you.

“Ofcourse,” You take his hand as the two of you get into character.

Hi Kurt, it's Veronica

How did you guys know it was always a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once?

Wowuhh... lucky guess?

Well, if you want it to come true, meet me at the cemetery, at dawn

Free pussy!

And we don't even have to buy it a pizza!

Punch it in! Whaat?! Hahaha!

The two of you were both theater kids, singing together mixed with your average acting filled the two of you with joy way back when you were younger. The two of you join hands again as you shift to veronica and JD.

We can start and finish wars

We're what killed the dinosaurs

We're the asteroid that's overdue

The dinosaurs choked on the dust

They died because God said they must

The new world needed room

For me and you

Well your average acting, everytime the two of you sang this song donnie was too realistic. The way he would make your heart throb was supernatural. Despite being cold blooded your were never cold with you touched him.

I worship you.

I'd trade my life for yours

They all will disappear

We'll plant our garden here

He cups your cheek in the palm of his hand, as he kisses you. His hand was warm, everytime he held you, you felt safe. He pulled away from you and continued the song, and you joined him quickly after.

Our love is God

“You missed acouple lines hun.” he pecks your cheek,

“Only because you kissed me,”

“Stop acting like you did’t like it”

“Ugh.” he wraps his hands around you hips and stuffs his face in the crook of your neck.

...I worship you

I'd trade my life for yours

We'll make them disappear

We'll plant our garden here

Our love is God

“I love that song don.”

“I know you do hun.”

I hope you guys liked it! There some references that some people might not get, like the super mario reference, but still. Kiss, kiss, hope you have a good night, day, afternoon or whatever. <3

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drunkenbagel · 1 year

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Enchanted to meet you - Part 2

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Spanish f!reader Contents: slow burn, a bit of strong language/swearing, mentions of alcohol and drunk behaviour, implied sexual ambiance/tension but not actual smut. Word count: 3,1k A/N: I had some issues with my acc, which got deleted (and all of my posts/likes/etc🥲) but I'm back! anyways, here is the second part to the story! hope you like it :) Taglist: @canpillowscry @lxdyred (thank you so much for reading! <3) Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

You sighed while picking up your things from your work table and started heading to the elevator.

“Nora, it's not like that. I think you're taking it a little out of context.”

“What?! You're telling me that somehow befriending Pedro fucking Pascal isn't that big of a deal to you? Is that what it is? What the hell has New York done to you?”

“I'm not saying that! It's just- I don't think I am his public friend anyway.” You sighed again. “He's a celebrity, and I'm just a regular girl. Hell, I'm sure he sees me as his kid. He actually calls me kid, Nora. And I just happen to have the biggest crush on this man! Do you know how embarrassing that is?”

“Well, you got me there. But what if he's faking it and he likes you too? You may have a chance. You can still manifest your way into this man's ass anyway.”

You snorted loudly, and some people on the hall gave you a weird look.

“You always know how to cheer me up, that is a fact.”

“And I'm also the funniest, best sibling you ever had” she said laughing too.

“You are literally my only sibling, Nora. You're my rant dump. The best racoon, maybe. I could give you that title.”

“Are you kidding me? You know I love racoons. They're my favorite beings. And they are so funny too. I actually feel weirdly honored.”

It had been a little more than four months since you met Pedro, and the two of you had been getting closer. In the first month of knowing each other, much to your surprise, he gave you his personal number, and since then you started exchanging text messages almost constantly. Especially since you didn't saw each other again apart from a couple times at the beginning of your friendship, because he had a lot of work and had to travel back and forth. Schedules are real shitty sometimes, more since yours both didn't exactly coincide.

The elevator made a small sound and the doors opened.

“You know that I-”

Your face fell and you froze as you saw the secretary speaking with someone that looked an awful lot like Pedro. You instinctively hid behind a wall on a random hallway.

“y/n? You alright?”

“He's here.”

“What? Who are you-”

“He is here. At my work! What is he doing here?” you whisper-shouted while cautiously looking at him again. There was a brief silence on the other line.

“You mean to tell me that Pedro showed up at your work? Out of the blue?”

“Yes! He was supposed to be in Canada for some filming or some shit! Oh my god, what do I do?”

“Eres tonta?” Nora said. “Go talk to him like a normal person, estúpida! I bet you're hiding somewhere now.” (Are you dumb?)

You straightened and looked around as if you could see your sister looking at you.

“I fucking knew it” she said, and you heard her laughing on the other line.

“Shut up! You know this kind of things make me anxious. What do I do now? I look like shit, Nora.” You looked at your reflection on a nearby sign and started to fix your hair a little. “What is he even doing here? Why not tell me he was coming?”

“It's something called a surprise, y/n. You show up uninvited.”

“Ha-ha” you mockingly laughed. “What should I tell him? How do I react? I don't want him thinking I'm a big weirdo by making things awkward or something.”

“Just talk to him, for starters!” she scolded you.

“About what?! Hey, funny seeing you here, do you want to hang out? No! I don't think we can be seen in public without him being recognized, and less with me. Go somewhere closed? Same thing. And I can't take him to my shitty house, that place is a fucking dump and you know it.”

“Okay, okay. Breathe, y/n. Please.” You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled it. “Good. Now, maybe he just wanted to say hello, and go about his day. You're getting a bit ahead of yourself.”

“I know, I know. Okay, I'll just... Casually go out. I guess?”

“Good. And keep me updated right away or I'll call the cops.”

You laughed while shaking your head. Oh how you loved her.

“Thank you. Talk later. Bye!”

“Bye, you dumbass” she said, and hung up before you could say anything else.

You looked into your reflection again, and went to the exit as if you didn't see him in the first place. Only when you got out, he wasn't there anymore. You frowned. Maybe I just imagined it? You shook your head, and went to the door, when the secretary called your name.

“y/n! Here, Ashley told me to give you these reports for Monday. Oh, and by the way, there is someone waiting for you over there” he said, pointing towards the small book aisle that was on the waiting room.

You then saw him standing there in between shelves, looking through some books. You couldn't help a small smile from appearing in your lips.

“Thanks, Carter. See you next week” you said, waving at him while you walked to Pedro. You stood behind him, and he was so concentrated on the books that he didn't hear you approaching.

“Hm, Cien años de soledad, good book.”

He instantly whipped his head to your direction, a little startled, but when he saw your face he smiled widely.

“Hey!” he said, and grabbed you by your shoulders to give you a brief side hug.

“Hello. What are you doing here? I though you worked.”

“Yeah well, we finished a bit earlier than expected and I don't have to go back until Tuesday, so I wanted to surprise you. I hope that's okay.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. I just- I don't know if you wanted to...” be seen with me? “Anyways, fancy a drink? I sure as hell could use one. Or two”

“Oh, hell yes” he groaned.

“Good, because I know a good Irish pub just in this street.”

“Después de tí, señorita. You lead the way” he said while bowing slightly. (After you, young lady.)

After a bit of small talk and a 5 minute walk, you two walked into McCarthy's, your favourite pub ever. You had gone a couple of times with Ana and some friends there. Had a whole lot of good alcohol too.

You sat on a table that was a bit hidden from the rest, and you thanked Marcus for that. The kind bartender had been your friend since you started being a regular here. You two even dated for a while back then, but in the end you both preferred to stay as friends. Also, the amount of times he had to drive you home drunk was a bit embarassing.

After what seemed to be the shortest time of laughing and drinking, Marcus approached your table.

“Hey lass, we're closing. You need a ride?” he asked while putting a cloth on his shoulder.

“Already? Thanks for telling me, Marcus” you said, words a bit slurred, clearly a bit drunk. “Don't worry, I can walk home”

“You sure? I don't mind driving you, you already know that.”

“Yeah I'll-”

“I'll go with her.”

You two turned to look at Pedro, who had been awfully quiet during your coversation. Marcus stared at him for a little while, and then at you.

“Wolf?”

“Rabbit. Soft, white rabbit” you answered laughing, remembering the code names you made back then. He wanted to know if he was bothering you or if you were okay with that. He was such a caring friend. Pedro just looked at you two back and forth, without understanding. He didn't know why that interaction bothered him, but it did.

“Alright, then I'll have to ask you to leave like the rest so I can close up for the night.”

You two picked up your things, and on the way out, Pedro got ahead of you to open the door. You stopped briefly to say goodbye to Marcus before leaving.

“Always nice seeing you ‘round here, lass. Take care, please” he said.

“Thanks, Marc” you said, bringing him closer to give him a hug. After that, you kissed his cheek, and left off to the door. You didn't notice, but Pedro was clenching his jaw for the whole time, for a reason unknown to him too.

After a small silent walk, you went to reach for your phone, and in the process you realized your keys where missing.

“Shit. Please, no, no, no...” you muttered while frantically searching your bag.

“What happened?” Pedro asked, a little worried. “You alright?”

You sighed, defeated.

“I left my keys at work. And they are obviously more than closed right now. And until Monday” you said, groaning loudly. “Joder! I will have to call a locksmith, and then make copies of keys... Shit, this month is going to suck so fucking bad.” (Fuck!)

“You could stay at my place.” The words left Pedro's mouth before he could stop them, and he panicked for a second. You froze too, feeling your already alcohol-warm cheeks heating up. Did he just say that? You raised your eyes to meet his.

“Are- Are you sure? I don't want to disturb you.”

“C’mon, kid. I have some free days and an empty home. Besides, we could continue the party there if you're up for it.”

“Oh, like you could handle it?” you said, challenging.

“I know damn well I can” he answered, now widely smiling.

“¿Me estás retando?” you asked. (Are you challenging me?)

“Oh, sí.” (Oh, yes.)

“Then it's on.”

When you arrived there, you started drinking basically a bit of everyhthing on Pedro's shelves, and it ended with the two of you being very drunk. You had drank quite a lot more, never backing up on the challenge, even when he told you that you had already won, while trying not to piss his pants because you had slipped and fell to the floor.

“I know I won! I always do” you said, laughing as you got up.

“Okay, kid, you win. Now let's get you to bed” he said while still laughing, also visibly drunk. He took your hand to lead you, and you felt sparks just from that touch. “It's one of my guest rooms, so you don't have to worry about anything. You have spare chargers on the drawer by the bed, and in the bathroom are also spare hygiene things if you need them.”

“Y’have any clothes?”

“Ah, yes. Wait a moment” he said, and stumbled a bit to his room next door. Meanwhile you tried to take your shoes and pants off on your own, but given that you were heavily drunk, it was quite a challenge. Pedro arrived short after with a shirt and some plaid pajama bottoms.

“Here” he said, leaving the clothes beside you in bed. You then tried to take off your sweater, but it got stuck on your head. You heard Pedro laughing, but he helped you get out of it. He folded it the best he could, and went to leave it on the chair beside the bed. “I'll leave this here for-”

He turned around, but you were right behind him. So close. Only in your underwear. His laugh faltered, and he shallowed hard, feeling his head spin.

“Pedro” you whimpered, while tugging at his shirt. He could feel his heart thundering in his ears. He knew he was attracted to you, but you never gave him any clue that it was reciprocal.

He saw you moving your lips, saying something, but the loud sound of his own beating heart didn't let him hear what you said. You tugged again at his shirt. He instinctively started to take his shirt off. Was this happening? Was this really going to happen?

Without breaking eye contact, you took the shirt, and reached for the clasp of your bra. He closed his eyes and shallowed again. Okay, Pedro, calm down. Blindly and not wanting to intrude you, he took off his jeans. He then felt you taking his hand and leading him to bed. When his leg touched the matress, he opened his eyes and found you looking back at him, but you were wearing his shirt on. Wait-

You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him towards you, collapsing on the bed. Pedro tried to avoid falling with his full weight on you, but you were hanging off of him for dear life.

“Warm” you whispered sleepily, clutching his head onto your chest. He radiated a lot of heat, and you found that very comforting. That's why you asked him for the shirt he was wearing. Now you were using him as your personal heater.

“Wait, y/n- I think I-”

You shushed him, and when he realized what was going on, he let out a small laugh. Without getting out of your grasp, he took the duvet and covered you two with it. Then, he accomodated himself on top of you, since you didn't seem to be letting him go anytime soon. You were also warm, and within a few minutes, he fell asleep too.

You woke up some hours later, with a dry mouth and a proper headache. You also felt your chest heavier than usual, so you opened your eyes briefly, and saw Pedro laying on your chest. Ah, it's just him.

Wait.

You opened your eyes abruptly this time, looking at him again. He had his arms around your waist, and you had yours in his hair. You the realized that you had only his yesterday's shirt on, and with one brief look below the covers, you saw that he was practically naked too. You frantically tried to remember last night's events, but you only remembered getting into his house. Then, all blank. Oh no, what the hell did I do?! Did you just ruin the brief but amazing friendship you had? Did you two had sex?

You then started making your way out of the bed, trying not to wake Pedro. You picked up your phone and made your way into the kitchen. Your body was sore as hell. While you poured a big water glass on the sink, you dialed Nora's number. She picked up at the fourth tone.

“Hello?”

“La he cagado. Monumentalmente.” (I fucked up. Tremedously.)

“¿Qué has hecho? ¿Estás bien?” she asked, sounding a bit worried. (What did you do? Are you okay?)

“I think I had sex with Pedro.”

There was a small silence. “What do you mean 'you think'? Did you or not?”

“I don't remember, Nora! I just- We drank a lot yesterday, and I woke up with only his shirt, on my underwear, and him practically naked too! I am freaking out!” you whisper-screamed while running your hand over your hair.

“Oh shit” she laughed. “You two had sex!”

“Don't laugh! I don't know what to do, he is-”

You felt two hands snake around your waist, and a raspy voice say good morning, beautiful into your neck. You froze, and ended the call.

“Hi” you said in a whisper.

“Did you have a good sleep?”

“Y-yeah... You?”

“Definitely. After last night's, I slept like a baby.”

You shallowed. Oh no. So you two really had sex. Sounded like very good sex. And you didn't remember! Fuck. The universe was taunting you.

What you didn't know was that Pedro woke up as soon as you left the room, following you to the kitched without you noticing. And, of course, heard the whole conversation. He then had the wickedest idea, and wanted to test you on how far you'd go without telling him what you really thought.

“What do you say? Do you wanna go again? Or are you too sore? I hope I wasn't too harsh on you.”

“No, I'm...” he kissed the back of your neck, and you felt a shiver run down your spine. “I'm fine”

“Good, then...”

He turned you around and lifted you by your thighs, forcing you to cling your arms around his shoulders and legs around his waist. You let out a small yelp, and buried your head in his neck as he carried you into the bedroom again. Your heart was beating very fast, and you thought it was going to pop out any moment now.

He laid you down on the bed, and trying to contain the laughter, he lowered his forehead to touch yours.

“Are you sure you're okay? You're a little tense.”

“Yes” you answered, a little too fast. It took everything in him not to burst laughing, and he tried to cover it by leaving small pecks on your neck. You sighed at the feeling, but tensed up again when he started lowering his mouth. One of his hands started to lift your shirt over your hips when you couldn't take it anymore.

“Stop! Stop please. I can't do it” you said, pushing him and getting off the bed.

“What? You can't do what?” he said, trying not to break character.

“I just- I cannot pretend anymore. I'm sorry if something happened, but I don't remember shit about yesterday and I'm proper freaking out right now. I don't want to ruin our friendship based on some drunk decision, and-”

You stopped talking when he suddenly burst out laughing. You looked at him in confusion.

“What? What's so funny?”

“y/n... Your- Your face-” he said, wheezing.

“Stop fucking laughing! I'm serious.”

“Nothing happened, love. I was just messing with you. I wanted to see how far you'd go.”

“Wha- But you were... I-I am... And you said...”

“I know what I said” he answered, wiping his tears. “I heard you on the phone”

You felt your cheeks burn.

“All of it?”

“All of it.”

“And you were going to let me do this, you fucking asshole?” you said, hitting him with a pillow.

“Ow! You think I'd let you? That hurts my feelings” he said, while fake pouting.

“Oh, I'm going to hurt you, Pedro. Te voy a matar!” (I'm going to kill you!)

You started hitting him repeatedly with said pillow, until both of you were laughing and panting on the bed.

After that, the bond between you two grew stronger, now going from friends who only texted to best friends who chatted, video called and saw each other at any chance they had. You had no idea how everything in your life was going to change.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal imagine

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equarretedddd · 10 months

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ANOTHER THOUGHTS ABOUT DETHHEALTH this IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE AAAND AGAIN ANALYZE the MTL SCENES every time i find something new there well—

i want to thank @normanblowup for the thoughts about this ep whitch i found a long time ago that inspired me and made me add stuff a little to it all.

TW just in case with regard to some traumatic events related to sexual (or sort of thing) experience.

everyone remembers that Dick and Rockso flashed for a second in Murderface’s gay hallucinations. in short even though these flashing images in his head are very random i think they both embody two different sides of open approximate homo-images that he saw live — one positive and the other negative.

Dick is a positive image — Murderface sees in him an attractive personality for him that he respects. he personifies the side of attraction in which deep down in the soul and subconsciously Murderface partly….. wants to believe??? Dick combines those qualities in terms of sexuality/general openness that are absolutely unattainable for Murderface but so fucking desirable. Dick is open, liberated and honest, does not hesitate to flirt and call people sweet nicknames — Murderface can only admire this level of freedom and wish to have such social mobility too (well if he does not have it then at least be next to the person who have it hehehehehh).

Dick is fully clothed but with his legs spread — Murderface respects his loyal openness as a person but is still interested in his physical/sexual mystique.

Rockso is a negative image. he embodies everything that Murderface despises and hates about homosexuality in principle and what homosexuality itself is used to consider — an abomination, debauchery, filth and sexual violence. Murderface is disgusted by Rockso's emancipation because he demonstrates it from the worst side: he shakes balls, flaunts in revealing suits and constantly lies around doped up with drugs. Murderface does not see anything worthy of imitation in Rockso's behavior — he sees only moral rot and he is disgusted by this. he doesnt even think its brutal, he can only hope that everything is not so shitty for himself. obviously, Murderface would not want to resonate with such a thing, but unfortunately, subconsciously this is what happens to him, he literally behaves the same way (this may be another reason for his internal homophobia, he does not want to behave like this but consciousness still tells him to repeat this as a possible reconstruction of trauma).

Rockso is naked and looks quite repulsive, but Murderface, even being traumatized, cannot get such an image out of his head (as usual after such crippling experiences, unfortunately, it happens).

#metalocalypse #dethklok #mtl #s3e3 #dethhealth #william murderface #dick knubbler #dr rockso #its not because im an average dickface shipper im just trying to analyze it they do all the work for me #if they accidentally got married in my post its not because of me its all of them ok?#fine im actually an average dickface shipper but everyone is so normal abt it im glad

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xoxo-mylove · 2 years

Text

Doubts and Talks

(Bruce Wayne x Reader, Batmom!Reader x Dick Grayson)

*EDITED*

Word count: 3,322

Synopsis: Dick Grayson loves it here at the manor. His new mom and dad always make him happy and his new mom always gives him snuggles, but what happens when he lets the words and opinions of others jeopardize his happiness.

Warnings: Angst, Lots of angst, self-doubt, self insecurities, fake friendships, MAJOR bruce and Dick fluff to make up for the angst lol

(*A/N: Sorry for the late update its been sooooooo long, This story took me forever to complete because while I was first writing it i was in love with the plot and I had so many ideas but halfway through I was so discouraged in my writing and gave up. I came back to the story tweaking it and while editing it I came up with more ideas and knew even if I didn't like how I wrote the story I wanted to post more Batmom!reader again. So bare with me with the shitty writing lol I hope you guys like it <3 but I want to write more of Al Ghul!reader one-shots so leave ideas in the asks please :)))) btw more stuff will be added in the master lists!! Coming soon ya’ll promise <3) if some don’t know this story is inspired by a piece of fan art i posted! Unfortunately i dont know the artist but please, please, please if any of you do please msg me and let me know so i could leave credits ;))

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Dick Grayson was the happiest boy alive. He thinks it’s because of all the cookies he gets from Alfred.....Oh! Oh! AND AND all the snuggles he gets from his new mom and dad.

His new Mom and Dad. It was hard for him to call you and Bruce that but, you both made him feel better with your words and love you showed to him. He remembers when he called you mom for the first time, he remembers the look on your face and the bad feeling in his tummy when he felt happy about giving you that title.

But he also remembers running away and hiding from you. Becoming so consumed of guilt and crying for hours in his room. You ran after him after a while and told him all the things that made him feel better.

“Calling me your mom dickie does not mean you're forgetting your mother. I know I didn’t personally know Mary honey, but I know that she was an extraordinary woman.”

“You want to know why?”

“why?” he remembers asking with pouting lips and teary eyes. “because she raised the most brave, smart, and most kindest boy I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You don't understand how happy I am that you would ever call me mom, but I want you to know that there is nothing to feel guilty about or sad about, I know your mother would be happy that you’ve found people who care and love you as much as your father and she did. I love you baby.”

He remembered feeling like a weight being lifted off his shoulders after your guy’s talk.

He didn't feel guilt consume his tummy when he called you mom anymore and that made him feel a lot better. He also remembers the first time he called Bruce dad, he never seen the man smile harder in his life! It was so COOL! Bruce even took him out for ice cream TWICE that week! You weren’t too happy about that though...... But disregarding that! Dick Grayson was a very very happy boy and it would take a lot to bring down his mood.

If only he knew what would happen when he went to school tomorrow.

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Dick was having such a good dream. Alfred was feeding him all his favorite foods and deserts and his Mom was telling him nothing! It was heaven. Just as he was about to eat into another chocolate cake he feels his body being stirred awake, and just like that, his own paradise was gone and he opened his eyes to see you.

“Honey it’s time to wake up.” he heard you say. He groaned and turned over on his stomach hoping that if he ignores you you’ll let him stay home.

Just as he was gonna throw his cover over his eyes he hears you yell “Oh no you don’t mister!” and tortures him with tickles.

“No! ah ha No!” *giggle*

“MOM!! St-” *giggle*

“OKAY OKAY!” you stop your onslaught attack on him and instead choose to sit on the ground by his bed and laugh at him watching him catch his breath. He lets out a deep sigh and turns on his side to see you looking at him with those eyes. He immediately wants to go back to sleep. “Time to get ready honey. School time!”

“UGHHH I don't want toooo!” he looks up at you with a pouty lip and faking his obviously phony tears “Can I please stay home mommy?” You let out a sigh and crouch down by his bed. Oh YEAH! It worked.

He definitely didn’t think it would.

“No.” he doesn't even have the chance to let out a gasp before his cover is being thrown off and he's in your arms in the air. He screaming and laughing, mostly complaining all the way down the stairs to kitchen where Alfred and Bruce are eating breakfast watching in amusement at his torture.

You sit him down on the chair and kiss his cheek, even though he tries to dodge it and ruffle his hair. He watches you walk over to Dad and kiss his cheek and sit down digging into your breakfast.

Looking back in forth between the two of you and his dad he knew he couldn't let the topic of him staying home today go. He has to try ask Dad. He slowly gets off his chair and walks over to his chair. He notices his your eyes following him as he goes. “Dad” he looks at Bruce with that adorable face that he knows he has. You told him so.

Bruce peers down at him over the newspaper “What’s up chum?” he puts down his newspaper and Dick knows he’s got him. “I want to stay home today.”

“Oh yeah? Why's that?”

“Well... If I stay home today then Alfred won’t have to pick me up from school, Instead Al could finally watch all his soaps on time!”

“Master Dick!” ignoring Alfred’s embarrassed outburst “And I can keep mom company here so she isn't all alone while you got to work at WE” Dick knows his reasons are 110% reasonable, he knows his dad will say yes. The smug expression is clear on his face and it almost hurts Bruce to watch it fall almost.

“No.”

Dick swears he can hear an explosion going off five miles from here because WHAT!

The shock is clear on his face because he hears his mom giggling. He whips his head towards you and gapes “MOM! stop laughing!” he can see your body shaking with laughter as you try to hide it.

His attention is taken off of you when Bruce smooths his hair down and tilts his head towards him. “You can’t stay home bud.”

The world just ended he swears by it.

“But why though?” he knows he’s being whiny but come on!

Bruce laughs at his obvious whiny tone and looks at you with a smile before turning back to face him. With a sympathetic look on his face he bends down to whisper something to Dick like he’s telling him a secret.

“You know I would let you stay home if it wasn't for your mother” a cough interrupts their conversation and they both turn to see you glaring at Bruce with a blank expression on your face.

Ahhh dad’s in trouble. Dad clears his throat and tries to smile at you and you just rolls your eyes and look at him. “And anyway hun I’m not going to be staying home today.”

“Well, where are you going?” He asks confused, his mom almost never busy to hang out with him for entire day unless.......Oh. Oh, no, no, no!

“I’m going to work honey.”

Dick knows the sadness on his face is evident because Bruce lays his hand on his back softly. “Yeah I'm having a meeting with the owners of the Gotham Theatre! They want me to help draw up some plans for a complete renovation. Doesn’t that sound exciting?”

You get really excited when you get these architect jobs (took me a while to learn how to say that word)

You spend weeks drawing plans on that cool blue paper and creating sick model buildings on the computer in your study. Though he thinks it’s cool Dick doesn't really like when you get jobs because your always to busy to hangout with him, and between Dad going out all night for hours doing vigilante work (that he still won’t let me go out with him even though I know I'm ready!)

When you have a job you’re focused on Dick knows he won't see you for hours that day.

“Sweetheart” You said sympathetically. You definitely noticed his face. You set your fork down on your plate and reached for his arms pulling him to your chest.

“I know when I get jobs I get distracted with my work and trying to make it perfect but I promise you I'll manage my time better, okay?” Dick smiled at you because he knows that you’ll go through with it. “And all of us are going to a Gala this evening so I'll pick you up from school. Okay?” Dick could feel Dad’s eye roll from here. He hates those things, Dick particularly doesn't mind them! Especially because you like to brag about him and cmon, who doesn't love that!

“Now that's over, I think someone needs to brush their teeth” you with a smile.

You’re right Dick thinks.

“Yeah Dad I wasn’t going to say anything but...” The loud giggles you two shared at Bruce’s annoyed face had Dick smiling the whole breakfast.

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Driving to school with Alfred is always one of the best parts of Dick’s morning. He has this thing where he knows once he starts talking he can't really stop and he loves when Alfred gives him those small but big worded answers in his British accent.

It really just eggs him on.

“I mean I definitely don’t mind being Sasha’s friend and everything, but one of my bestest friends; Micheal doesn't like Sasha and I don't want him to be mad when he sees me hanging out with her at lunch.” he explains to Alfred.

“Sounds like you have yourself stuck in a difficult position Master Dick”

“I know, it’s so exhausting” It really is.

“Oh yes, very strenuous work you endure.”

“Totally Al.” Dick definitely doesn't know what strenuous means, he’ll ask you about it later.

Pulling up to school Dick sees his friends Micheal and Sean waiting for him by the entrance. “Goodbye Master Dick I wish you a good day.” Running out of the car and runing to his friends. Dick stops and quickly runs back to the car and peaks his head back in, “Bye Al! have a good day!” and closes it.

Running up to his friends he can't help but notice them whispering to themselves while laughing. Though once Dick comes into view, they hurriedly stop whispering into each others ears. That uncomfortable feeling in his stomach starts brewing. “Hey! Guys what’s up?” he asks smiling.

“Hey, Dick we were just talking about the Gala.... our parents have us going to tonight” his friend Sean says.

“Oh yeah, my mom was talking to me about it today.”

“Oh your mom huh?” snickers broke out between the two of them.

Whats so funny?

“yeah my mom.” he says while staring Micheal. It seems like their staring contest with each other had gone on too long because Sean mentions class starting soon.

Walking into school with his friends was definitely awkward. They finally made it to Mrs. Ortiz’s classroom and sit down in their seats. Dick has never been more grateful for assigned seating more than today, he definitely didn't want to be by either of them at that moment.

Mrs. Ortiz’s insistent need to call role everyday is annoying but whatever, it’s her class. “Shayla Valdez?”

“Here!”

“Richard John Wayne?”

“Here!”

Once Dick brings down his hand he hear puffs of laughter and snickers breaking out behind him. Swiveling his head around to see Micheal and Sean whispering with another group of boys while looking at him.

Dick feels his jaw clench and his skin grow hot. Turning his head back to the front he tries to get through the class while fuming in his seat. He definitely should of stayed home.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

While walking down the hall to his next period Dick overhears Michael and Sean talking behind the corner with some other kid from his class. Slowing down his speed Dick hides behind the corner and decides to listen to their conversation

“He should feel grateful!” He hears Michael speak with a nasty tone.

“What do you mean grateful Mike?” A voice he recognizes as Bryan speaks

“Living with Bruce and Y/N Wayne! You idiots, gods I feel bad for them. Taking in that charity case.”

Charity case? Dick felt his stomach drop.

No, no, no, you and Bruce didn’t adopt him because they felt bad. They didn't adopt him out of pity. Right?

Dick didn’t have much time to think about it before his friends started speaking again. “My mom was telling me that the only reason they adopted Dick was for the publicity. Oh woah me! My parents died, I need a new home! Please take care of me! The press eats it up and obviously Mr and Mrs. Wayne just use him because-” Dick didn't stick around for the rest. Feeling a stinging in his eyes.

Stop crying!

Stop being a baby!

He kept telling himself. Trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. Dick could hear their laughs echoing of the hallways as he made his way quickly into his next class the long way, anything to avoid passing by them.

He just wanted go home.

_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Once school ended Dick was sitting down on the bench waiting for you and he can't help but let the words of his friends consume his mind while waiting for you to show up.

Am I a charity case? A publicity stunt? I mean it would make sense. A rich couple taking in a sad little orphan. Probably got them a lot of praise from the public. No, no, Dick, Y/N and Bruce are your Mom and Dad.

They love you and they don't feel that way.

They don't.

Unfortunately the feeling in his stomach didn't go away. The hurtful words from his friends earlier definitely affected his mood. So much so that when he saw your car come to view he couldn't help but feel sad all over again. It can't be all fake. Can it?

Getting into the car you definitely noticed something was wrong. “Hi baby! How was school?” you happily asked, turning your body around to see him.

Dick tried to smile he really did. “It was good mom”

He saw the concern in your eyes start to build quickly at his unusual answer. The question you always asked when you pick him up always sent Dick into a long rant about everything he did at school, all the things he learned, and who he talked too. Yeah, Dick didn't know how he was going to get away with this.

It was your favorite part of your day-listening to him talk about his. Then later at dinner when Dick told Bruce all about his day. So when he didn't go on his normal but adorable recount of his day, you could say you were instantly worried.

“You alright honey?” you ask hoping for a truthful answer this time.

“Im fine..Y/N” You know the shock was clear on your face and instant glaze clouding your eyes was obvious. Taking in a deep breath you silently nodded and drove the both of you home.

Dick knew he messed up when he called you Y/N instead of mom, its just if it was all fake you obviously wouldn't mind. He kept telling himself but a small part of him in that moment wanted to hurt you.

But the look on your face when he called you Y/N instead of mom would be something that would stay with him forever.

The way your face completely turned expressionless and you just nodded at him. Not yelled, or cried. You just nodded. Like it hurt too much to say anything. Dick just sat silently the entire ride home, fighting back tears and feeling the guilt almost swallow him whole.

Once you stopped the car and he saw you let out a sigh. And look up at him in your rearview, he bolted. Running out the car and towards the manor he headed straight to his room, ignoring your calls for him to come back.

He ran past Bruce, barley hearing him ask what was wrong.

Running up the stairs and slamming the door Dick flopped on his bed and cried. Cried because he was hurting and crying because he knew he hurt his mom.

Dick doesn't know how long he was crying for, hours? or merely minutes. But it felt like he was there in his room sobbing for a long time.

A knock at his door stops the thoughts running wild and knew for a fact it wasn’t you. That thought alone hurt him.

You always knock twice and then Dick always answers. No, it wasn't you behind that door. Further proving he hurt your feelings so bad that you didn't even want to see him.

He’s the worst kid ever.

“Dick? Can I come in?”

Bruce?

Oh no, Bruce was probably angry at him. Bruce is always angry at anybody who upsets you, he's seen it with crazy reporters to mean rich women at galas. The way he uses his batman stance and scary stare, Dick doesn't want him look at him like that. he doesn't think he can handle it. But he cant just leave him outside his door. He doesn't want another one of his parents to be sad because of him.

“Yeah...you could come in” he says in a small voice.

The door opens and he sees Bruce’s head pop in catching his eyes. Dick feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest because of how nervous he is.

Approaching his bed Dick could see Bruce is nervous. Not as nervous as him but nervous.

It seems like Bruce could sense his unease because he gives Dick a gentle smile and and brings him into a hug.

Dick could feel the tension leave his shoulders and the nerves leave his body as he slumps into Bruce’s arms. He feels an instant set of tears building up and lets them trail silently down his cheeks.

It’s like Bruce already knew what crisis was going through his mind moments before “The reason your mom isn’t in here isn't because she's mad, okay? We want you to know that.”

Dick just nods into Bruces arms, hoping that's enough of an answer for him.

“We just want to know whats wrong? Can you tell me?” Bruce asks concerned.

Dick feels like those are such loaded questions. Can you tell me? Whats wrong? What does Dick even say? He’s sad because he heard his friends talk about how you and Bruce just use him as a publicity stunt and you don't really love him and he can't help but believe it? Yeah, that makes total sense. Bruce would probably just think he’s a crybaby. Or even worse, it be true and he can’t even give Dick any reassurance.

Yeah, so much worse.

His silence to Bruces question must have gone on too long because he feels himself being taken out of the embrace and sees Bruce kneeling on the ground in-front of him. Looking up at him with no more nervousness as before but a determined a gentle face. A face that Dick knows means Bruce is going to stay here until Dick tells him whats wrong. “Whats wrong Dick? I know your mother is usually the one that consoles but if anything, you could always talk to me.”

Maybe it’s the fact that Dick has stopped his crying, but he decides to tell Bruce what happened.

Clearing his throat trying to speak without the obvious sadness peeking through,”Today at school I heard some of my......friends talking” he says peering up at Bruce’s face.

He nods at Dick asking him to continue.”They.....they were saying that the reason you and Y/N adopted me was because—”

“because what chum?”

“because of publicity.”

They could hear a pin drop because of the sudden silence that spread between them. Bruce look like a fish out of water, opening and closing his mouth trying to think of something to say. It made Dick nervous because what if it was actually true and Dick caught him in the act?

No, he couldn't handle that being the truth. He needs Bruce to tell him that's not it.

Bruce has finally regained his ability to speak back because he softly but firmly grabs Dick’s face in his hands and looks him in the eye.

“I have never. Ever had the intention of adopting you because of the good publicity it may have received Dick. Your mother and I never adopted you or chose to take you in out of pity, good publicity, or charity. We adopted you because I knew what it was like.”

Dick is crying now and can feel them trailing down his cheeks. The relief he feels is all consuming. He almost hits himself out of anger for even thinking it was true. Thinking that you and Bruce could EVER do that to him or be that kind of people.

“You knew what is was like?”

Bruce smiles at him wiping the tears of his face, “The pain of loosing your parents is something we have in common kid. I adopted you because I knew what you needed. I knew the path you would have taken if Y/N or me weren't there. You would’ve ended up like me. I need you to understand that it wasn't out of pity or charity. Y/N and I love you. We love you so much. Your mother will tell you the same thing when you tell her what’s wrong. Okay?”

Dicks almost inconsolable at this point nods his head and smiles, before he feels guilt. Guilt for assuming and possibly insulting Bruce and you. And before he can even open his mouth to give an apology, Bruce just shakes his head and whispers it’s all right. Rubbing his back he whispers you have nothing to apologize for to me. Okay?

They spend the rest of the afternoon there, just sitting in each others presence. All the talking and explanations have been done and finished with and now they were just sitting together feeling each others comfort.

Dick knows he’ll have to speak to you soon and apologize for running out the car leaving you sad. But for right now he feels content with Bruce’s words and knows that he has nothing to be scared of. Because you and Bruce are his Mom and Dad.

Nothing will ever change that. Especially not some immature, jealous, fake friendly rich boys. Dick really needs to find some new friends once he gets back to school.

..........

........

Hopefully Sasha!?

AHHHHHHH I hope you all enjoyed!!! i’m so glad i finally got this story out, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders <3 love you all lots!! Feedback is appreciated!

#batmom #dceu fandom #dceu fic #dick grayson x batmom!reader #bruce wayne x reader #batdad #bruce wayne is a good dad #good dad bruce wayne #Good dad bruce agenda #yella talks

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dyns33 · 10 months

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Fucking fate - ending 2

As I said, I imagined two endings for Vaas and his soulmate. They are not that different, but I wanted to do both.

______________________

Fucking Jason Brody.

Vaas should have known that things weren't going to go the way he wanted. He knew the definition of insanity after all, and he had already tried to kill Jason four times.

Why would the fifth have been different ?

But Vaas was a bit crazy, so he hadn't thought, too proud, too sure of himself. Besides, he had a mission. In addition to having to ensure control of his kingdom, he had to protect his soulmate.

If Jason won, if Citra won, then he knew very well what would happen to Y/N. His sister didn't like to share her toys. And despite all her criticism and insults, Vaas had always been her favorite toy. Ever since her name came up, Citra had hated Y/N. She had told him again and again that he didn't need her, that he had to burn that name, that he had to kill that girl.

"We're together, Vaas. You love me, Vaas. You're not going to choose her, are you Vaas ? I'm the only one you really need. Why don't you answer, Vaas ? Why don't you burn your skin for me ?"

Vaas had loved his sister. More than everything. At one time, she was the only person in his life, the one who had raised him, the one who had protected him, and of course he wanted her to be proud of him, so he obeyed.

Then he had grown up, he had met other people. He had realized that their relationship was not normal. Not healthy. He understood that she didn't really love him. Citra loved only herself, and the idea of becoming a goddess.

For that, she needed a warrior to fuck and sacrifice. Since she had no name on her skin, she had thought her own brother would be a good candidate.

After all, he owed her that, she had wasted time and energy on him. And no one else liked him. People thought he was weird and scary.

The only problem was Y/N, that stupid hope he had that someone else in this world might want him. For this, Citra had decided he was weak.

Maybe she wasn't wrong, since he had lost to Snow White. Well, fortunately the blancito was totally drugged, otherwise he wouldn't have survived, but a knife in the chest still caused a lot of pain.

Vaas had been hiding in the jungle, using the plants to stop the bleeding. He had been lucky too, that the heart and lungs weren't punctured.

It had been hard waiting to be able to move, because even if he could be patient, he only had one thing on his mind. Y/N. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. Was she safe ? Alive ? He had to see her.

When he managed to drag himself to the cave where his pirates were to wait for him, it had been empty for several days.

"CARLOS ?!" he shouted, his voice echoing against the walls. "...Y/N ?!"

He found the bodies of his men further away, near an abandoned temple. Carlos had taken a bullet to the head. Vaas crushed him until his brain was totally smeared on the ground.

Y/N was not found. Her body wasn't there at least. He had given very clear orders.

Unable to leave without knowing if his sister had taken her, he captured a Rakyat to interrogate him. The man told him that no one had seen a girl. Either she had been killed with the others, or she had fled.

The island was dangerous, between wild beasts, poisonous plants, cliffs, and raging war.

Vaas howled to death like a wounded dog as he strangled his prisoner.

Then he sat for hours, wondering what he was going to do now. His kingdom had crumbled. His men were either dead or on the run.

Y/N was no longer there.

He had a hard time thinking she was dead. He refused to think that. Vaas preferred only to think that she was no longer there.

He checked every corner of the island before leaving. There was no question of abandoning her in this place. Then he took a boat.

Part of him wanted to die. There had always been a part of him that wanted to die, because his life was shitty, because he was shitty, because he probably kinda deserved to be killed for everything he had done.

And now Y/N was gone, so he really had no reason to live.

But he thought she wouldn't have wanted that. His mate was a good person. A sun. To honor her memory, he had to keep going, and he had to do it right.

With the money he had in a hidden account, he bought a fake passport, he offered his services to people to help them with their problems, until he became a smuggler in Yara.

It wasn't perfect. Vaas wasn't perfect, and he never would be. But he was no longer a pirate lord who tortured, sold and killed innocent people. He did his best to help, with the knowledge he had.

In the evening, he rested on the beach talking to little Vaas, the tennis ball. His best friend. He spoke to him of philosophy, of his island, of his past. Of Y/N.

The job was simple, but life was much harder than before. More lonely.

Until one day when he was drinking quietly in the village bar, and a man stopped near him staring at him.

"... Jefe ?"

"... Benny ?"

Benny had been one of his most loyal pirates for a very long time. A bit stupid, but funny and polite. Vaas was happy to see him, as much as he wanted to beat him up to make his huge smile disappear as he sat down next to him.

"Jefe ! I'm so glad to see you ! We thought... They said you were dead ! Shit ! I should have known it wasn't possible."

"Yeah, you should have known that."

"That's huge. You're not in Rook anymore ?"

"You have eyes, you can see." Vaas muttered, knowing he was going to talk about what had happened. Of what had happened to Y/N. And he didn't want to. He didn't want to know the details.

Benny continued to rave, ordering beers for them and asking him lots of questions about how he had survived, and what he was doing now.

For his part, Ben had left the island after the death of Carlos. He had told himself that he had done his duty and that he had no more reason to stay there. Now he was a mercenary for a small band.

"You did your duty, huh ?" repeated Vaas dangerously, ready to take out his knife and plant it in his hand.

"Yes, jefe. She'll be glad to know you're not dead."

The knife remained in his pocket. Instead, he smashed his glass with his hand, bleeding without realizing it, his attention fully on Benny, who looked startled, before realizing what was happening.

"Oh Jefe... You didn't know ? I took her to her embassy, with a boat. I stayed until she was taken to the airport. She's fine."

"... Can you be sure after ten years ?"

"I talk to her, sometimes. I have her number. I go to see her, to check that she has no trouble, if she needs something. She lets me sleep on her sofa. She's like my little sister. You... You want her number ?"

So it was that in one evening, Vaas found himself with a number and an address.

He hadn't felt so sober in years. Also lucid. He didn't speak with little Vaas that evening, staring at his phone, where Y/N's name was displayed.

To check, because Benny might have gone asshole, he called once. There was a beep, two beeps, then...

"Hello ?"

Vaas hung up immediately. To hear her voice, after all this time. He felt like crying, jumping, breaking everything around him. He did all of that anyway. It was the same feeling he had felt the day he had met her in that little cage. So much joy, it almost hurt.

Y/N was alive.

She was alive, but did she want to see him again ? According to Ben, she cried when he confirmed that Vaas was dead. She was unmarried, no children, living alone in an apartment.

As if she was expecting him.

But even if it were true, didn't she deserve better than an asshole like him ? He had changed a bit, he was less mean, but he was still weird, and scary, and himself. An old scrap.

Vaas thought it was not his place to choose for her. Y/N had already chosen him once, so she had the right to say whether she wanted him again or not.

Ringing her doorbell was the hardest thing he had ever done, and he had done almost everything already. Not crying when she opened and her eyes met his was also complicated. When she spoke too, whispering his name, and when she ran her hand over his cheek.

Shit, he had promised himself not to cry like a kid.

"Vaas." she whispered again with her soft voice, bringing him back to reality. If it was real, he was never sure.

He took advantage of this moment to admire her. Y/N had changed too. Her hair was different. She had aged, which was probably normal after ten years. But she was still so beautiful.

"Hi nena." he managed to say, letting her take his hand and usher him into her home.

It was small. Not as small as his hut, and more insulated against storms. More capitalist. At least she was safe and warm, that was good.

Both of them a little embarrassed, not knowing what to do, he sat down on the sofa, while she made him a coffee. When she came over to him, handing him the cup and their fingers still touching, Vaas felt like jumping on her to kiss her.

But that was what the old Vaas would have done. He had to be calm and respectful. Little Vaas would be proud of him, he kept telling him that he had to be a gentleman.

"So how are you ?" she asked shyly.

"Good, since Benny gave me your address. Three days ago."

"Oh. He told me I was going to have a surprise soon. I'm glad that... You're... Why didn't you come before ?"

"I thought you were dead, nena."

"I see. I was thinking the same thing. Are you… Are you with someone ?"

"Why ? Are you with someone ?"

"Only Fred."

Shaking, Vaas drank his coffee, even though it burned his tongue. So much the better. He had been stupid, of course Y/N had someone. She deserved to be happy, and loved. He would accept that, if this Fred was good enough for her. And if he wasn't good enough, he'd break his face and he'd take his mate with him, to give her lots of babies in his cabin, and...

"Meow."

The cat had jumped between him and Y/N without warning. The animal was very lucky that Vaas only put one hand on his gun, and the other on Y/N's shoulder to protect her.

"Yes, Fred, there is an intruder in the house. Vaas, this is Fred."

"... Who calls their cat Fred ?"

"Me. You were always talking about philosophy and Nietzsche, and that would have been a really ridiculous name for a cat."

Relaxing, he watched her take the cat, kissing it on the forehead before placing it in front of its bowl of milk. She had named the cat while thinking of him. He had almost made a tennis ball in her likeness, but he hadn't been able in the end. Because he had to remember that she wasn't here anymore, because of him.

Except she was here now.

In her apartment, with her cat, and Vaas on the sofa, as if everything was fine. As if everything was as it should be. A normal life, together.

Without thinking, he left the coffee on the sofa to approach Y/N. When she turned around, she found herself wedged between him and the wall. It startled her for a second, then she looked at him again, her eyes full of fire.

Fuck you, little Vaas. Stupid tennis ball left on a beach in Yara.

Kissing Y/N was like breathing again, after spending ten years underwater. He might be a little too friendly, his hands sliding over her skin, his body clinging to her, but he needed to know she was there. To pass his nose against her neck to smell her scent. To lick her cheek to remember her taste. To hear her moans.

"Vaas."

"Nena. Mi amor, mi cielo, mi corazón. Come with me or let me stay here. Never leave me again. I'll die if I lose you again. I'm empty without you."

"Vaas." she repeated, maybe because she hadn't understood, or because she wasn't listening, lost in his kisses and caresses, but her hands on his face and her lips devouring him were an answer.

He was going to stay, in this normal little life, with her, breaking the crazy loop in which he had locked himself, to finally be able to be happy.

He would just have to get used to Fred, who knocked him down by standing behind him, when he wanted to take Y/N into the bedroom, making her laugh as she shouted insults in Spanish.

Fucking cat.

#far cry 3 #vaas #vaas montenegro #vaas montenegro x reader #vaas montenegro imagine #vaas montenegro fanfiction

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cowgurrrl · 11 months

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ok what am I supposed to do now the one for the money, two for the show is done!!!?! I would love more lord while I go back a reread everything from the beginning!

If you’re taking requests maybe quick snapshots of the year apart? Not to get too personal but I have a crush and I’ve been stalking their social media but like in a chill way (or I’m trying to) I imagine reader and Joel both seeing each others accomplishments or posts or being tagged in things and just being happy for each other but also….the longing

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author's note: this is so angsty i'm sorry

Summary: This ask

Warnings: angst, yearning, oh it's so sad

Joel Miller's New Album Set to Break Records

Everything We Know About Joel Miller's New Album Glass House

Glass House Expected to Go Platinum Before Next Month

What Songs on Joel Miller's New Album Are About Famous Actress Ex?

You almost text Joel about the headlines and theories flooding your timeline. Almost. You actually started typing out a message before reading the last message you sent him almost four months ago and quickly deleting it. You're happy for him. You really are. In the pictures from his album release party, he looked insanely happy, posing with Ellie and Sarah and hugging his musician friends in celebration. He even played one of his newest songs, "Love-in-idleness," at the party with only his acoustic guitar and that deep voice of his. You think you would know it's about you even if he didn't tell you about it before you left. Love-in-idleness is the flower used in A Midsummer Night's Dream to make a love potion to unite the couples. It's common knowledge, but Joel might be one of the only people in the world who knows how much that play means to you. The song quickly becomes one of your favorites, but you don't tell him.

You scroll through his social media unashamedly. Dave Grohl and half the world congratulates him on his album release. He's making the music he's always wanted to make. Sarah told you she got into UCLA, and Ellie is drawing again. He's happy. They all are. So, why do you feel so shitty? Neither of you has deleted the pictures of each other from your profiles. It feels like a staring contest, seeing who will hold the torch of your relationship longer. It doesn't help that people are screenshotting the pictures of you together to "add context" to Joel's lyrics. The one that makes you break down is a quick snapshot someone took of you leaning on him in Central Park when you were watching the guitarist with lyrics from "The Yellow Subway."

She knows more than me. You better believe

That city couldn't hold her right, but then

I couldn't either.

Despite the heartbreaking lyrics, you two look comfortable together— your head on his shoulder and his hand in yours. You cry in between scenes, ruining your makeup and having a mini-therapy session with your makeup artist, Saoirse, as a result. You don't post anything about his new album, but you put on a happy face and post snapshots from your time spent in Ireland thus far. Pitchers of Guinness, the Cliffs of Moher, stunningly green mornings, and a picture of you and the film crew hiding out in a tent while the rain comes down around you. Joel likes the photos but makes no other move to communicate with you.

You wonder if he's torturing himself in the same way you are. You wonder if he's waiting for a headline about you dating someone new like you are for him. You wonder if he's hurting the way you are. Selfishly, you hope he is because that means he still thinks of you. You also want him to hurt because he hurt you. You still love him, but you can't be the woman who crawls back to someone who can't trust her with things, like telling her the mother of his child is back in town.

This is what's best. It's what needs to happen. You need to be here, working, and he needs to be there, being a dad and making music. It doesn't make it any easier or soothe the ache in your heart, but it's necessary. It's for your own good. Right?

Right?

#one for the money two for the show #rockstar!joel x actress!reader #rockstar!joel miller #tlou au #the last of us au #joel miller fic #joel miller requests

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choicesficwriterscreations · 1 year

Text

CFWC Writer of the Month: Jamespotterthefirst

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @jamespotterthefirst! We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: Jamespotterthefirst Blog Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played?

I started playing back in 2018. I kept seeing this thing called “playchoices” trending as number 1 on Tumblr (lol remember those days?). This would happen, without fail, almost every week! When I clicked on it, the posts were all about the finale of a royal story (The Royal Romance!). People made the most hilarious posts, complete with memes. I had no idea what it was, but I gathered it was an app. I downloaded it, and the rest is history.

The first book I played was Desire and Decorum. It was absolute torture because it wasn’t completed yet. So I binged the available chapters. Yes, I spent real money on keys and diamonds, telling myself at least I wasn't spending that money on drugs. It was so much fun waiting for a new chapter every week, even if I’m an impatient mess.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the fandom almost immediately after downloading the app.

As I sat in my living room, tapping my foot and waiting for the new D&D chapter to drop, I went back into the playchoices tag for content. It felt good to find other people who loved the story as much as I did. There were other users out there who were also waiting impatiently for the new chapter, writing fics and discussing theories in the meantime. There were also some of the funniest memes I have ever seen in my life. At first, I would quietly read and reblog. Then, I slowly started posting my own thoughts and theories (which were not very good lol but hey, this is tumblr after all).

3- How did you pick your url name?

My life is one hyperfixation after another… The one before Choices was Harry Potter. More specifically, the Marauders era. I used to write for the pairing called “Jily”, composed of Harry Potter’s (dead) parents. Kelsey (@takeharryandgo) is a witness of just how much I love James Potter, Harry’s (dead) dad. In fact, our shared love for the pairing and character is one of the things that brought us together.

In short, this URL is a reference to James Potter the first, Harry’s (dead) dad. Not James Sirius Potter the second, Harry Potter’s (living?) son.

I saved it as a sideblog, meant only for writing resources for me to use at a later time. One day, I decided I didn’t want the followers on my main page to see all the Choices spam I was posting, so I resurrected the JP blog.

4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog.

My first Choices post was a shitty theory about Desire & Decorum:

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’ve been writing fanfiction since I was a literal child. I used to write in a notebook and my friends would read during recess. It was awful but they were into it. One day, I used up the whole notebook and my friend was desperate for the next part of the story. I told her I needed to wait until my mom took me to the store (literal child) to get a new one. My friend got me a new one by the end of the day lol.

TL;DR that puts me at about 20+ years of writing.

6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about?

Without a doubt, Open Heart!

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it?

Oh god, the first fanfic I wrote was Lily Evans and James Potter from the Harry Potter universe. I forgot the exact title, but it was named after an Avril Lavigne lyric. Again, I was a child, don’t judge me lol. It’s handwritten in a notebook I still have somewhere, but I will never open it again lest I die of cringe.

My first Choices fic, on the other hand, was a Desire and Decorum fic called “A Wedding Gift” that only like 5 people read at the time.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oof. This answer changes depending on the day you ask me. I always overthink it and end up saying picking a favorite fic is like picking a favorite child. To avoid being here all day, however, I’m going to say: Fake Husband, She Walks in Beauty, and Lovely.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but could use a little more love?

Definitely, the fic I didn’t expect to do well at all if my first Open Heart fic: Lovely.

I was so naive back then, knowing nothing about the Open Heart writing fandom. I had no idea what format or tags to use when posting. I was afraid there would be no readers out there who wanted to read a silly little story about my MC posting a thirst trap. All I knew was that the latest chapter of Open Heart Year 2 inspired an idea that wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it.

I posted it and I was so incredibly lucky to receive so much support. Words cannot explain how special that was. To this day, I cannot verbalize how grateful I am for that.

There isn’t really a fic I can think of that could use more love. It always amazes me that anyone gives my fics their time. So any feedback my fics get will always be valued and treasured by me.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Oh no.

If forced to choose, I’d say fluff.

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Absolutely! While I try to make every MC different, I often pull from experience when I write. My Open Heart MC and I have a lot of things in common (heritage, hometown, astrological sign, etc.) But I also wanted her to be her own character with life choices that are different from mine. Since I'm very boring, it definitely makes for better fiction that way.

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

It depends on the day. Some days I struggle the most with dialogue. Others, my biggest struggle is descriptions. It's rare when I feel confident in both when I write.

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

*laughs nervously in unfinished series*

There are a few series I have yet to finish. Once again, I apologize for leaving them untouched for so long! I plan to get my shit together soon!

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

No!

I don't think I could look anyone in the eye if they read some of the stuff I've written, especially for Choices.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

I strongly believe that one of the best ways to learn as a writer is reading. As such, I believe I've learned from most pieces I've read, particularly published rom com novels. In the fanfiction world, I admire my lovely friend @takeharryandgo. I've had the absolute joy of following her writing for over a decade. And with every work, I am still amazed by her masterful way with words! And her characterization is always spot-on. I simply love to read her spellbinding work and learn from the master!

Other writers/creators I admire are:

@heauxplesslydevoted- one of the first OH writers I've ever read! Her smut is top-tier!

@jerzwriter - her stories, dialogue, and characterization are a delight to read. Her angst is painful. Her smut is sizzling hot!

@liaromancewriter - a true master at romance! Her writing style is magical and synonymous with the best of rom-coms!

@genevievemd - I bow down because the amount of love and care she puts into every piece truly makes her work special!

@lucy-268 - I have always respected the amount of research she puts into every piece. She pours so much care into it so that the narrative flows seamlessly!

@a-crepusculo - her writing is so vivid and immersive. Reading her work is like listening to the most beautiful of symphonies!

@writer-ish - she is such a master at the craft! Her characterization is so vivid that the reader will fall in love no matter the format. Her text edits are legendary!

@bex-la-get - such a talented and dedicated writer! She also pours hours of research into her work, ensuring every detail makes sense!

@potionsprefect - she's such a creative and talented writer. She develops writing ideas like no one else I've ever seen!

@headoverheelsforramsey- I love her storytelling and characterization! She's created a beautiful, inspiring, and intelligent MC for all of us to adore!

@gryffindordaughterofathena - her writing style is one of the most original I've ever seen. Reading her work feels like reading the loveliest of poetry!

@coffeeheartaddict2- the dedication she puts into her work blows me away! She's daring when exploring themes in her writing, and she's not afraid to pull from personal experience.

@lsvdw-blog - the person I'm sending my therapy bill to. Just kidding! Her writing is beautiful, even when it's the most painful angst.

@trappedinfanfiction - she is such a lovely writer. The amount of detail she's given both of her MC's back stories has my absolute respect!

@quixoticdreamer16 - I adore her MC and the wholesome, beautiful background she's given her!

@mysticalgalaxysstuff - Another MC that has stolen my heart. I am so happy she started writing this past year because she's a real talent!

@peonierose - love her beautiful MC and the beautiful love story she built for her with Bryce!

@cariantha - a brilliant writer with talent for days!

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

I would love to see She Walks in Beauty along with its series (1800s AU) in live action. Imagine Ana de Armas and David Gandy in period costumes? That alone would be worth it!

17- Do you write original stories?

I've crafted and outlined original stories before but I've never actually written them. One of my biggest goals for the new year is to finally start. Wish me luck!

18 - What other hobbies do you have?

I love reading, hiking, and dancing!

Yes, I picked the most “impressive” of my hobbies to seem cool. On most days, you'll catch me cuddling with my dog or bf watching YouTube/TikTok/Hell's Kitchen reruns lol.

19 - What’s your favorite emoji?

I used the orange 🧡 and purple 💜 hearts a lot because they're my favorite colors!

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

For the record, I am also contractually obligated to read anything Kelsey writes 😘

Thank you so much to every single reader who has given my work a chance these past three years!

Thank you to the wonderful mods of CFWC for all you do to support writers in the Fandom!

#choices fic writers creations #writer of the month #cfwc writer of the month #jamespotterthefirst #open heart choices #open heart

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mediocre-daydreams · 2 years

Text

don quixote and the classics // bucky barnes bookstore! au

pairing: bucky barnes x bookkeeper! reader

summary: bucky develops a sudden affinity for secondhand books from one specific store, and coincidentally, that store just so happens to employ a pretty, intriguing bookkeeper. from don quixote to the history of Hun empire archery techniques, bucky just wants to see you again.

warnings: swearing, mutual pining, the avengers are meddling assholes but i love it, couple references to my favorite books, and oblivious reader

w/c: 6.5k

prompt 6 by @juicywritinghoard

“librarian desperate to understand what wild phase the other character is going thru rn”

＊✿❀　❀✿＊

when you dreamed of moving to new york, you had hoped your days would be spent glamourously lounging in high-end bars, frequenting gentrified hip indie cafés (because let’s be honest, you can’t escape them these days), and/or getting yourself a sugar daddy.

what you didn’t plan for was working six days a week at a shitty bookstore where you tripped over the loose floorboard behind the counter even after three months. granted, the “shittiness” of it all was quite charming, and the old man who owned the place was probably the sweetest person you’d ever met—which said a lot because you hated old people.

the business had been slaw. as aforementioned, the gentrified millennial-catered cat-café-bookshop-cabaret-bars blew whatever “run-down charm” your store could try to advertise itself as. you spent most of your time abandoning the counter, since it wasn’t like there were customers who needed to purchase things anyway. instead, you’d found yourself lost in shelves of haphazardly organized books (fuck the dewey decimal system), trying to squeeze in new finds (and by new, you meant the battered up copies that the owner’s friends had no more use for) but eventually settling for stacking them horizontally on top of the rows and rows of dusty books.

you’d never admit it, but this place had become your home. sure, it was probably decomposing. and you swore that you saw a squirrel in there once. but you and your single coworker were always treated with baked goods from the owner and paid a reasonable salary. the owner had done so much for you back when you were a naive, freshly moved-in new yorker. he’d fed you when your bills were becoming too much, he offered you a job and made sure you were paid enough, and once, he even let you crash on the cushy chairs in the back when the subway was down and a thunderstorm was raging.

today was like any average day, so essentially a day full of nothing. stevie nicks crooned through the old radio—the owner insisted on CDs—and you hummed along, occasionally singing some of the lyrics you knew. when the bell chimed and you heard the hinges of the door squeak, you yourself let out a squeak.

“uh, hello?” a raspy male voice called from the front of the store. he cleared his throat. “is there anyone- are you guys open? i didn’t see a closed sign or anything and the lights were on so…” he was speaking to nobody in particular, trailing off after he heard no response.

“okay, um, no worries! have a good day,” he called to no one, turning to leave.

“wait! wait, come back!” you huffed as you ran to the front of the store, clutching your stomach to catch your breath. “sorry, i thought i was hallucinating. we haven’t had a customer in a long time.” you winced. “that’s really bad advertising, isn’t it,” you muttered to yourself.

the man laughed. “no worries, i’m enjoying our introduction, actually.” he hesitantly held his flesh hand out for you to shake. “bucky. bucky barnes?” he waited for some sort of recognition to flash in your eyes, or maybe a recoil, or maybe for you to ask him to leave. instead, you took his hand in yours and gave him two firm shakes. he smiled at your confident grip.

“as much as i’m glad you’re enjoying this introduction at my expense—sorry about that, by the way; customer service is not my thing—how can i help you?”

“i’m looking for a book,” he said, eyes flickering around the crowded bookshelves as if he were a little intimidated.

“then you’re in the right place,” you snorted. “sorry, that was rude of me. sorry. do you know what you’re looking for? our organization system is a bit… unique, so i can show you to our different sections if you need.”

“that’d be great, actually,” he confessed, rubbing the back of his neck shyly. “do you have anything on… gardening? botanicals? specifically flowers? ones that are native to the east coast would be preferable.”

you smiled, picturing the burly man in front of you curled up on an armchair, scanning pages and pages about delicate, colorful petals and local flora. “we do, actually! come with me.”

the man—no, bucky—trailed behind you, mesmerized by the way you navigated seemingly random stacks of books with such familiarity. you stopped abruptly and he nearly walked into you—and thank god for that, because he probably would’ve run you over.

“here ‘ya go!” you chirped, running your hand over the spines of botanical books fondly. “if it’s not too invasive to ask, but why are you looking for books on flowers? no offense, but you don’t really seem like,” you waved your hands around, “a flower kind of guy.”

bucky chuckled, already immersed in his hunt for the perfect book. “you’re right, i’m not. my friend wanda’s been wanted to start a garden, but she’s always been a city girl. we have a place further out from the city with a good amount of land, so i’m hoping to get her started.”

“that’s so sweet!” you swooned, smiling widely. “you’re such a wonderful boyfriend. god, those are rare.”

“oh no- uh, we’re not dating,” bucky stammered, cheeks flushing slightly as he refused to meet your eyes. his hands froze midair, fingers dancing across the spine of a book. “we just live… together. there’s a lot of us there.”

“ah, so you guys are like fancy outskirts-of-new-york co-inhabitants, huh?” you gazed at the ceiling thoughtfully. “never met anyone like that.”

“well, normal is not a word i’d use to describe myself,” he said with a hint of bitterness. was that right? he was bitter?

you leaned against one of the shelves as you watched him search. when he found what he was looking for, he turned with the book clutched against his chest, giving you a triumphant grin.

“you found one! c’mon, i’ll get you all checked out.”

bucky couldn’t help but watch as your fingers danced across the old register whose numbers on the keys had begun to fade. you flipped the book to the back to check the price. “hey, you got a good deal! five dollars, please.”

he fished for his wallet and handed you a crumpled bill. you smiled and handed him his book. perhaps it was intentional or maybe it was simply an accident, but bucky shivered when your fingertips brushed against his own. “it was nice to meet you, bucky,” you waved cheerfully as he left, a bit reluctant to say goodbye. he held his hand up in parting, walking out the door backward to keep you in his sight for as long as possible, almost bumping into a passing pedestrian who shot him a glare. you giggled.

as he began the walk back to the subway, he flipped through his new book. he smiled to himself. right in the center of the pages was a delicate bookmark, stained with dancing hues of a painter’s watercolor touch.

wanda was overjoyed at bucky’s gift. she seemed to love the secondhand nature of it, claiming “that’s what gives it personality!” bucky agreed that the book had personality, but he didn’t think it was because of its age. it was because it reminded him of the sweet bookkeeper’s smile. unbeknownst to wanda, he’d taken the bookmark out and kept it for himself.

steve’s birthday was coming up, and seeing as wanda couldn’t stop gushing over her plants, the rest of the team had taken an interest to where the book had come from. when living in a hundred-million-dollar complex, something as simple as the concept of paying for a battered-up, used item was a bit foreign.

“you’re back!” you’d exclaimed at the sight of bucky’s smiling face. it was late june, and between his first meeting with you and today’s mission of retrieving a birthday present for steve, he’d stopped by three times already.

“your favorite regular has arrived,” he grinned, draping himself over the counter teasingly to admire your face. you swatted him away.

“you’re my only regular and you know it.” you tapped his nose. “so what are you looking for today?” you came out from behind the counter, taking extra care to skip over the loose floorboard. after tripping over it twice in front of bucky, you were determined to take extra caution.

“something on art, actually.” he looked down at you adoringly as you stood in front of him, head tilted up to meet his eyes as you rocked back and forth excitedly on the balls of your feet.

“ooooh, you’re versatile!” you wrapped your small hand around his wrist, catching bucky off guard, but by some miracle, a wave of courage swept over him and he slipped his wrist out of your grasp and interlocked your fingers with his. if you were caught off guard, you made no indication, but bucky could swear your heart jumped a little.

you weaved the two of you through the shelves once more. the two of you were fully aware that bucky could probably navigate just fine on his own after his multiple visits here, but neither of you would complain about the extra few minutes you’d get to spend together.

as he browsed, you settled into your usual routine of chatting as he searched and you leaned casually against a shelf. “... so first you come in with gardening, and then the next week it’s archery during the Hun empire, and then last week you get two books—which were great picks, by the way; you were very tasteful with the don quixote and thinking of you reading alice in wonderland absolutely made my day-”

bucky blushed. you had been thinking of him?

“-and now you’re here for art? i’ve got to say, i’m extremely impressed, buck.”

he stood up from his crouch, where he had been examining the lower shelves for the perfect book, and held it up to you for approval. this was also part of the routine—he’d pick out a book, you’d inspect it, and if you deemed it a good fit, he’d buy it.

“i love it! mainstreamers of modern art? i never pegged you for a modern art guy, but i see it now. you’re adventurous.” as the two of you made your way through the checkout process, he couldn’t help the thought that’d been running through his mind the past few weeks.

“do you make the bookmarks yourself?

this time, it was your turn to blush. “um, yeah, actually.” you hesitated before handing him his book and meeting his eye. “i’m no picasso,” you tapped on the cover of the book where his art was featured, “but before you started coming, i had a lot of free time. so i started making little bookmarks.”

the loveliest smile you’d ever seen on bucky’s face, or anybody’s face, for that matter, spread ear-to-ear like the flowers you assumed that wanda had successfully been nurturing.

“what is it?” you laughed nervously, tilting your head away from him shyly.

he reached out and took hold of your jaw with a gentle touch. he wasn’t sure where all this courage was coming from. perhaps it was the spirit of capitan america running through his bloodstream. “don’t… don’t look away. don’t be embarrassed. i think it’s beautiful,” he confessed, eyes never leaving yours just as his hand refused to pull away from where it had reached up to caress your face. the two of you were trying to contain your bashful smiles.

“thank… thank you,” you whispered, finding your faces a bit too close for this to be platonic. at this point, you weren’t sure if the “beautiful” bucky had been talking about was referring to the bookmarks or to you. you hoped it was the latter.

the clanging of the bell broke your spell. the both of you jumped back; you pretended to be busying yourself with papers that didn’t exist and bucky’s arms snapped to his side like a soldier in position. a young woman appeared at the door.

“wanda?” bucky revelled, eyebrows furrowing as he took in the figure of a curious customer scanning the store.

“no, bucky. vision decided to emulate me and come all the way down here to terrorize you. yes, it’s me, wanda,” she deadpanned.

“wanda!” you abandoned your nonexistent busywork. “you’re bucky’s roommate? i’ve heard so much about you? how’s the garden coming along? what’d you think of the book? i’m not sure if- i put bookmarks in all the purchased books, i hope yours didn’t fall out! i put a flowery patterned one in there for you,” you gushed, overjoyed to meet a friend of bucky’s and get a glimpse of his personal life which he was incredibly guarded about. oh, and because you had a new customer, obviously.

“bucky’s told me all about you as well! it’s so nice to finally meet you!” you hesitated for a second as wanda wrapped you into a big hug before reciprocating with equal enthusiasm. bucky didn’t care about wanda’s comment as much as he was thrilled to see you get along with his friends.

“and yes, i loved the bookmark,” wanda said, shooting bucky a questioning glance, eyebrows raised. bucky wilted under her knowing look.

“how did you even find me, wanda?” bucky chewed his lip nervously at wanda’s mischievous smirk.

“oh, it was totally an accident. i found this darling store online and i knew i just had to come get steve’s birthday present here. it just so happens that this is the place you’ve been running off to all these weeks! i can’t believe you’d keep this gem to yourself,” she simpered, taking hold of your hand.

“you know, bucky can’t stop talking about this place,” she smiled. “and you,” she whispered connivingly into your ear. you felt your face heat up and hoped wanda couldn’t tell. she could.

“r-really? that’s so sweet of you,” you stammered, eyes flickering between wanda and bucky. bucky looked like he was going to sink into the floor.

you cleared your throat. “so, you said you’re looking for a birthday present? would you like some assistance or are you good to wander on your own?” you deflected, letting go of wanda’s hand when you felt yours begin to clam up.

“well, i see bucky’s already beat me to the art book. i think steve might like a classic though. he’s been trying to catch up on everything he missed when he was under the ice, and i know he’s always had a soft spot for the paperbacks with the pretty colors. you should stop by and check out his collection!”

you narrowed your eyes. “under… under the ice?” you questioned, not sure where this was going and wondering if you needed to call an ambulance and/or schedule a psychological examination for wanda.

“yeah, you- oh, has bucky not told you?” the both of you turned back to look at bucky, who was still frozen in place by the counter with his eyes wide. wanda turned back to you smugly. “we’re here for steve rogers. you know, captain america.”

your mouth dropped as you stared at wanda blankly. you weren’t sure if you were drooling or not, but you wouldn’t be surprised if you were.

“c-capitan america? the real one? a-and are you wanda, as in the scarlet witch? holy shit. and- oh my god,” you panted, eyes wild. “bucky?”

bucky met your eye, apprehensive. “bucky? i’m so fucking stupid. bucky barnes. james barnes. the- the winter soldier?”

bucky flinched, steeling himself for the inevitable. you sounded so afraid, tripping over your words as you tried to say his name. the secret was out now, and he’d have to stop coming to your bookshop—no longer could he tease you, or buy books he didn’t really need, or spend all his spare cash, or help you dust the shelves, or add to his collection of your bookmarks, or-

“bucky, i can’t believe you didn’t tell me, you little sneak!” you ran up to him and slapped his arm playfully. you tugged at your hair. “i’m so blind, aren’t i? you’re wearing a jacket in the summertime. your name is literally barnes. you told me you lived in a fucking compound on the outskirts of new york and i was so caught up in your pretty face to even-”

you slapped your hand over your mouth, eyes widening enough to rival bucky’s own wide eyed stare.

“uh, wanda! you wanted a book?” you rushed over to her side, grabbing her hand and tugging her deeper into the shelves as wanda snuck a look back at bucky, whose face was buried in his hands as he leaned against the counter.

wanda ended up buying 1984. you were a fidgety mess as you checked her out, tucking another one of your bookmarks between the pages. you and bucky didn’t look at each other once. well, that was a lie. your eyes were burning holes into the first edition paperback while bucky snuck glances at the side of your face, watching your concentrated brows and small huff at the sticky keys of the register with a stupid, infatuated smile on his face. wanda elbowed him hard.

“what was that for?” he hissed, lowering his voice and hoping you couldn’t hear him. wanda rolled her eyes.

“thank you so much,” she simpered as you handed her the book with a polite smile. “you know, you’ve done so much for us. bucky’s never been big on reading before,” wanda patted the super soldier’s arm. your eyebrows raised as if to say, oh really?

“hard to believe, right?” she laughed. “he comes here so much i could be fooled. anyways, i was thinking you should come and celebrate steve’s birthday with us! it’s the fourth of july, which is cliché, i know, but if you don’t have any plans you’d be more than welcome! we’d all love to meet the woman that’s gotten bucky all intellectual recently. your books have more of an impact around the compound than you think.”

you looked terrified. “i- what? the compound, as in the avengers compound? wait, captain america’s birthday? a birthday party? you want me to come to america’s party for his birthday?�� you gasped, blinking furiously to try and comprehend the insanity of it all.

wanda giggled. “yes! you’re so cute; i can see why bucky likes you so much.” once again, you and bucky blushed and looked at the floor. wanda either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

“i mean, i’ll have to- i might have to work but- yes! i’d love to, i just have to check with the owner, uh, thank you? for inviting me to your party? um, are there going to be avengers there?”

wanda shook her head, enamored by your antics. “yes, there will definitely be avengers there. it’ll probably just be the team and their families, but you can be bucky’s plus one. here, let me write down the details for you!”

you slid wanda a piece of scrap paper silently, subtly pinching yourself to check if you were dreaming. you were not.

“here ‘ya go! bucky and i can’t wait to see you there!” she chirped before dragging a dazed bucky out of the store and leaving you breathless. bucky can’t wait to see me there.

“stop being such a sourpuss, bucky.” wanda complained, smacking his arm with a trail of red energy.

“yeah, bucky. if your girlfriend is half as obsessed with you as you are for her, she’ll show up here with a trumpet fanfare and a horse-drawn carriage. you’re down bad, my man, and it’s getting kinda sad.” sam had his arms crossed in front of bucky, who had decided to tag team with natasha to bully bucky all day.

“it’s steve’s birthday, can we just… ugh,” bucky groaned, tugging at his hair. “i don’t even care if she comes or not. it’s not a big deal. i’ve only seen her like, five times. i’m just a customer. so it doesn’t even matter.”

natasha rolled her eyes. “i’m this close,” she demonstrated with her fingers pinched together, “to beating the stupidity out of you, buchanan.” bucky glared at her.

“can you not-”

“shut the fuck up, idiot,” sam interrupted.

natasha elbowed him “okay, the goal is to piss him off, not rip his fragile, lovesick heart into shreds,” she chastised. bucky pursed his lips in frustration and took a deep, calming breath.

“i am going to remove myself from the situation,” he spoke mostly to himself, closing his eyes and remembering with dr. raynor had taught him. as much as he hated his shrink, he had to admit, therapy was coming in handy when it came to dealing with his asshole teammates. de-escalate, bucky. remove yourself from the aggressive environment. good job, bucky. deep, calming breaths. imagine you’re on a quiet beach…

“bucky!” the sound of your honeyed call broke his trance. his heart raced once more. well, shit. that ruined the whole meditative process. but it was worth it if it meant he got to hear his name roll off your tongue, all sugary and pure.

natasha and sam smirked at each other as you ran over to bucky with a gift in hand and bucky took speedy steps over to you with his long legs. he wrapped you into his arms and you squealed as your feet left the ground as you returned his hug with just as much passion.

“hi!” you whispered as you caught your breath, smiling up at him with such joy that he thought he might melt under your gaze before he’d even get a chance to wish steve a happy birthday.

“so you’re the girl that’s turned that frown upside down?” sam joked, taking your hand delicately and planting a charming kiss on the back of it. you laughed breathlessly, unaware of bucky’s pointed look at the back of sam’s head. it didn’t slip natasha’s perceptive gaze, however, and she took note of it.

“i’m natasha,” the spy shook her hand and raised her eyebrows approvingly at your firm handshake. you introduced yourself eagerly. “wow, you’re the black window! i- wow. i love you so much. my coworker and i are such big fans,” you raved, fanning yourself with your hands.

natasha chuckled, taking your hand in hers and lowering it for you. “well, i’m a big fan of you too.” you looked like you were going to pass out. “it’s an honor to meet the woman who’s turned the most petulant, ancient asshole into a cutesy, sappy little boy.”

you gasped dramatically, eyes jumping up to bucky. “bucky’s not an asshole! or a little boy, for that matter. he’s a cultured reader and classics aficionado. one of my best customers, actually,” you said proudly. natasha and sam looked at each other once more, but you and bucky were too immersed in each other’s smiles to notice their smug looks.

“wait, can you fly?” you whipped your head around to sam. “you’re the falcon! of couse you can fly! sam—can i call you sam?—can you take me flying?”

sam opened his mouth presumably to say yes, as he would take any excuse to zip around the compound and annoy his team, but bucky cut him off.

“nope, we’re not doing that. don’t do that, doll,” he looked down at you. you smiled, confused, at the pet name that slipped out of his mouth. “there’s a 70% chance that sam will kill you and a 10% chance that he’ll land roughly and you’ll both fall, and you look too beau- nice for grass stains. plus i’d really like to spend at least a couple hours with you outside of your work before you die.”

you gaped at him, not sure whether to interpret this as him making jabs at sam or him trying to flirt with you. maybe it was both. you were too stunned to analyze any of it anyway.

“buck? hey, you brought your friend!” steve jogged over eagerly with a glint in his eye that bucky did not like one bit.

“i- oh my gosh- hello? i’m sorry, it’s just that you’re capitan america and that’s pretty cool and stuff and bucky and wanda got books from my store—oh shit, did i just ruin the surprise?” you gasped.

bucky was prepared for steve to scold you for your language, but instead, he burst into a full-bellied laugh that neither of you were expecting. “i may be turning 105, but i’m not blind yet! we can never usually get bucky to talk, but ever since he got wanda her book, it’s all been ‘this girl at the bookstore,’ and ‘did you know that she paints?’ and ‘i wonder what her work schedule’s like because i never see her outside of the store,” steve ranted.

“it’s kind of really annoying, actually,” tony piped in, sauntering over with a half-eaten chocolate covered strawberry in hand. “the gramp won’t shut up about you. it’s nice to know that your favorite vegetable is cauliflower and that you’ve promised to take the tinman to a vegan restaurant. y’know, he hates vegetables. he’s practically a carnivore.”

tony pushed his sunglasses down to give bucky a judging look unobstructed. normally, bucky would’ve retaliated, but all he could do was blush. (from the heat of the sun, obviously. he did forget to put on sunscreen today.)

you looked up at bucky, taking his metal hand and shaking it without hesitation. your fearlessness surprised him—not only had you touched his prosthetic so nonchalantly, but you hadn’t run away screaming after hearing all the embarrassing things his teammates had divulged within the first half hour of your arrival.

“bucky, is it all true?” you teased, licking your lips and tilting your head ever so slightly. bucky knew it was because you were questioning him, but all he could think about was how you were perfectly positioned for him to kiss; all he needed to do was bend down a bit and maybe then he could finally see if you tasted as homely as your books smelled or if you had just eaten cauliflower—somehow, the idea of vegetable breath was appealing if it was on you.

“bucky? you still here?” you poked him in the stomach, which didn’t do much seeing as he was a buff avenger with enhanced strength. he blinked himself into the present.

“yeah, yeah! sorry, uh,” he rubbed the back of his neck, a habit you’d come to recognize as something he did when he was uncomfortable.

“hey, are you okay?” immediately, the interrogation you were planning on giving him disappeared from your lips and was replaced with eyes of concern. you placed your other hand on top of his metal one and tugged on it to catch his attention. “bucky, c’mon. let’s go somewhere quieter.”

you weren’t really sure had no clue where you were going, but once the bubbling of voices from the party began to fade, you stopped and turned to face him fully. his flesh hand, which had continued to run across his face, paused and slowly sank to his side as you watched him solemnly.

“i know that friends sometimes push things to far,” you laughed quietly, eyes darting to the ground, “and it can hurt a little bit. and sometimes for me it’s hard to tell them that i’m hurt.” you looked back up at him, but his face was expressionless.

you sighed. “i guess you’re right; we don’t know each other that well apart from our interactions at the store. but… if what your friends were saying were true, i’d- well, i’d like to know you better. outside the store, i mean.” your eyes darted between bucky’s intense, blue stare. your gaze never left his, even as he swallowed hard and refused to let any emotion cross his face. by the bob of his adam’s apple, though, you could tell that he was affected somehow.

“i wasn’t joking when i said i’d take you to that restaurant, you know. ‘cuz i really like you and i don’t understand you and your reading choices but i’d really like to because… you intrigue me. i don’t care if your team thinks you’re broody or whatever, ‘cuz i think you’re enigmatic and thoughtful.”

you dropped his hands. “ha, sorry. i don’t wanna push it; i know you’re probably really overwhelmed right now, it being your friend’s birthday and hosting a stranger and all your friends probably made you really uncomfortable just now so i don’t want to add to your stress-”

“can i kiss you?” bucky murmmured, the tiniest bit of nervousness flashing across his eyes as he pursed his lips in anticipation for your answer.

you needed no words. instead, you raised your arms and jumped, flinging them around his neck and bucky was quick to understand. he caught you, holding you up by your thighs and being careful to keep things respectful (he was a 40s gentleman, after all). bucky’s eyebrows furrowed as his lips met yours cautiously. god, he’d been dreaming about this for so long, and it always felt a bit vouyeristic knowing that you didn’t reciprocate his feelings. how wrong he was about that.

you hadn’t expected bucky’s lips to be so soft and you adored it when you leaned into the kiss. your noses brushed and your hands, after fidgeting with themselves for a bit, climbed up his neck and into his hair, where you tangled your fingers in his locks and gently rubbed over his scalp. he groaned, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss.

you had to break off, though, as you were not nearly as capable of holding your breath as long as a super soldier was. you were reluctant to do so, of course, and you pulled away just as much as necessary, making sure to remain as close to him as possible. your foreheads and noses were still touching as your lips remained just an few inches away where you were trying to catch your breath. your eyes were closed blissfully, and bucky dared to flutter his open.

there you were, the subject of all of his daydreams in the past few months, so close to him. he could feel your warm breath on his face. when you leaned in to kiss him again, you did so with even more fervor. you gasped into his mouth so wonderfully that he stumbled backwards a couple steps, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip so that your mouth would stay open and he could continue kissing you even deeper.

“bucky,” you whispered hoarsely as you pulled away for a second time. “bucky, i-”

“keep it in your pants, barnes!” tony’s voice bellowed from the party, and bucky burned red. you wiggled a bit in his hold and he took it as a sign to set you back on the ground. once you were standing, you shook your hands fiercely, letting out all the tension.

“wow,” you breathed, a satisfied, wonderstruck smile blooming on the lips buky had just kissed.

“wow is pretty accurate,” bucky agreed equally as breathless.

when you two captured each other’s eyes again, bucky reached down to cup your jaw and run his thumb over your cheek.

“you’re so beautiful, you know that?” he muttered, smiling fondly as you leaned into his touch and covered your hand with his own.

“i could say the same about you.” you turned your head so that your lips were in the palm of your hand and pressed a chaste kiss to his skin. he was glad he hadn’t reached out with his metal hand. he didn’t want to miss out on feeling every kiss you blessed him with.

“we should go back.” you watched as clint’s kids and tony’s daughter began pleading to cut the cake whilst steve insisted that they wait for the two of you to return.

“we should,” bucky nodded.

neither of you spoke or made any effort to move. instead, you stood on your toes to press one final kiss to the corner of bucky’s mouth and whispered “you don’t even have my phone number.”

he laughed. “doesn’t matter. i’ll just come bother you at the bookstore.”

you bit your lip to stop the beam that was sure to explode across your face and agitate your sore cheeks, so you tilted your head towards the party.

“we should definitely go back. the cake, and stuff. and maybe if i decide that i really like you, i’ll give you my number at the end of the party. so don’t get too comfortable.”

“it’s a deal, doll.”

you were perched on one of bucky’s thighs, horizontal to his chest, as the two of you dug into new reads. just like steve, bucky had decided to catch up on the classics (mostly because it meant he could watch your face light up as you chattered on about your favorites and what they meant and tried to convince him to read them, even though he knew he’d read anything you gave him anyway). thus began your sunday ritual of domesticity. bucky knew sunday was your only day off, so the first sunday after steve’s birthday, he had planned to make the most of it.

he took the train to brooklyn (he loved liked you even more for that) and picked you up at 10. he’d brought you to one of the coffee shops that’d been running since the 40s, which you doted on; “it’s so classic! i love mrs. basque—she gets me, you know? hates the gentrification too; she’s so progressive.” he teased you when he found out you (used to) hate “old people.”

“what a change of heart, huh? first your boss wins you over, then you fall for an 106 year old, and now you seem to like mrs. basque more than me.”

“well, if you keep making fun of me, maybe i will start liking mrs. basque more than you.”

bucky had dropped to his knees right outside of the store, begging you to forgive him as the two of you struggled to hold in obnoxiously loud laughs for the sakes of the people around you.

bucky had taken you up to the compound and cooked you a plant based meal and even ate it himself, which was when you realized how deeply you felt for him. he showed you wanda’s garden, helped you safely fly with sam, and then brought you to see steve’s book collection. but the best thing he’d done was present you with a book. it was a limited edition copy of herland, the book you’d been raving about ever since you’d convinced bucky to read the yellow wallpaper. he’d devoured your collection of feminist literature soon after and you fell a little more.

and now, curled up against the chest of the man you loved adored, you were struck by your second revelation of just how far you’d fallen. you watched as his blue eyes, almost as blindingly bright as his smile, danced across the pages of the newest novel you’d given to him. you watched as the sunlight streaming from the window made his eyelashes glow golden, and how his fingers tapped on the cover of the book absentmindedly. you knew he truly cared about the book when he let you be mesmerized by him instead of looking away, embarrassed. and he knew you truly cared about him when he took the time to read through your little annotations and add some of his own.

you shifted, wrapping your arms around his broad chest and nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. he hummed contetedly, using two fingers to hold the book open so that he could free up one of his hands to rub your back with.

from within the blanket of security his body provided you, you allowed yourself to confront your feelings. he’d confessed to you two weeks ago that the only reason he’d kept coming back for books was because he wanted to see you again. technically, he had a “reason” to, but he was the one coming up with them. the book on Hun empire archery was for clint, who didn’t really want the book in the first place, and when he came back the third time, he did so with the intention to ask you on a date. when he chickened out, he thought that’d be the last time he’d see you. instead, he ended up buying two more books—not because he was particularly interested in the classics, but because he’d asked you for your recommendations and you had said don quixote. he picked up alice in wonderland mainly as a joke, but ended up reading it (and loving it) just because it was you who sold him the book.

and then you learned he’d been keeping each one of your bookmarks, treasuring them as if they truly were picasso-level art, and you’d planted the biggest kiss on his cheek. and then you’d learned he never learned how to cook and taught himself just so he could make food for you, and you threw yourself into his arms. and then you had met alpine, and discovered that bucky would read aloud to his cat every night.

and then—well, just now, you cursed yourself out in your head. holy fucking shit i’m such a dumbass, aren’t i? i’m in love with this man. i’m in love with bucky. i. love. bucky.

you didn’t even hesitate when you lifted your head from his shoulder and pecked his cheek to catch his attention. when he closed his book, making sure your bookmark was properly secured before closing it, your breath was shaky.

“i love you, bucky. i’m so in love with you it’s stupid. i love you.”

bucky was silent for just a second before pulling you into the tightest hug. “i love you too,” he whispered into your hair, voice wet with emotion. “i’ve loved you for so long,” he confessed, pulling away and keeping his hands on your shoulders as if he wanted to be assured that you’d never leave.

“i hated everything you loved, at first. reading. vegetables. being so happy, all the time. but you made me love it all. and i must be the biggest fool for taking so long to figure this out, but the reason i’ve changed isn’t because i’ve learned to love all those things. it’s because i learned to love you. and i’d stop eating beef for you, sweetheard. i’d eat cauliflower burgers for the rest of my life if it means i get to love you.”

you backhanded his cheek softly. “you stupid, stupid boy,” you sniffed. “i hate you. god, i hate that you do this to me.” you were blinking back tears. “you’re making me fucking cry. i hate the power you have over me.” you didn’t. the both of you knew that you didn’t.

leaning in, you pressed your lips to his. it was a shitty kiss where your big smiles stopped you from actually doing much kissing, but the “shittiness” of it all was what made it charming. and no amount of bad customer service of ineffective advertisting could convince you or bucky otherwise.

＊✿❀　❀✿＊

main masterlist

taglist: (comment to be added!)

@im-a-slut-for-fluff

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #bucky and reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x librarian! reader #librarian au #bookstore au #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fluff

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fixfoxnox · 11 months

Note

I have no problem with dead roach fics, but for the love of GOD be original with his death and have it actually mean something, most of the time fics are “that’s one less loose end” esque and just have Ghost survive bc reasons, or his death doesn’t actually contribute to the story long term, like it impacts the first 3 chapters and then dissapears

Activision come on, bring our big boy, GIVE US SOME FOOD

I have many problems with dead Roach fics, but my two biggest one are:

1. They are almost always tagged wrong.

If Roach is dead the entire fic and only mentioned or in like a brief flashback, he should not be tagged as a character. I'm sorry, but if he's dead, he isn't a character in your fic! He's not there! Tagging him as a character just means that you're clogging up his tag with fics that don't actually have him in them!

A lot of authors also tag their dead Roach fics with GhostRoach when, again, Roach is dead! There is not going to be any GhostRoach outside of like mentioning it. The ship should not be tagged! If I'm in the GhostRoach tag, I'm there to read GhostRoach, not stupid SoapGhost bullshit that kills my favorite character and uses his death as a shitty plot device. Don't tag GhostRoach if the fic isn't about them!!

2. A vast majority of dead Roach fics use him just to create drama in the SoapGhost relationship.

His death serves no meaning beyond being an obstacle to GhostSoap. They treat Roach like a villain who is somehow at fault for Soap dating a man who is very clearly still grieving and Ghost dating despite the fact that he clearly isn't ready. Its stupid, the relationship is never healthy, and Roach is always somehow a bad guy for being dead!

The people who write these clearly don't give a shit about Roach and only want to use him to create drama rather than just making an oc or some shit. And these are the same mfers who will claim that Roach is one of their favs, the fucking bullshit he is. Its frustrating and its only made more prevalent by the first point!! THEY KEEP PUTTING IT IN THE WRONG TAGS!!

Ignoring all the other shit that I think is stupid about the trope such as Ghost somehow being alive despite a loose ends situation happening (yeah, sure, cause Ghost who was shot in the neck and fucking killed instantly would have survived instead of Roach who was alive at least long enough to see the fire burning AND to attempt to stop Shepherd from getting the DSM. All after being blown up AND shot. Sure, Ghost would have survived but not Roach) or the absolute damage that it does to the characterization of characters like Soap and the relationship that Soap had with Roach in the OG games or the absolute unoriginality of it or the fact that tagging the fic GhostRoach seems like a passive aggressive way to shit on the ship or the fact that these people somehow write the most toxic shit known to man then call it romance or the way that the rope has been so overdone its fucking burnt (if one of you tags some joke about Ghost and Roach?? Its a block /j)

Ignoring all that other shit plus some, my biggest problem with the trope is the improper tagging. Because it wouldn't be a big deal to me if I never had to see it because people would tag their fics correctly. But people never do, so I have to see their shitty dead Roach fics, so I will continue to complain about their shitty dead Roach fics.

BTW this is no hate to anything you said, I also agree with what you said I just wanted to use your ask to rant because I like to rant and I like to shit on this trope and its been a while since I've gotten to do either.

Now, as usual:

Activision bring Roach back, GhostRoachSoap best ship, fuck the dead Roach trope I hope it fucking burns, and Roach I'm your biggest fan

#thoughts with luke #you asked luke #gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostroach

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sl33py-day · 1 year

Text

The storyteller

(not a fanfic idea but could be just not intended to be)

You know I really want a story, a book or fanfic, that has many different stories in it. The stories aren’t fairy tales but, uh, how can I explain this…..They’re horror stories with death and murder. But the thing is that in every single story the killer is never really described that much. In each story before the person is killed by the unknown killer they let a small detail about them. For example….

“A tall figure rose from out of the shadows but was still enveloped in the darkness of the night.”

Like that, now in one story we know the killer is tall. Maybe in another they say about a mark they see on their hand or arm.

The whole plot twist, that I really hope you didn’t find out. Is that the many of the stories are connected, same timeline same plot kinda (the person dies, goes missing, lives but is severely traumatized by whatever happened) and is killed by the same person (or traumatized by the same person). It’s only revealed during the last 2-3 stories but again is very small detail.

Once you known about all the stories being connected, the small details of the killer of each story would give you a good idea of who the person looks like.

BUT ANOTHER PLOT TWIST! Once you get all the details of the killer you realize it’s really similar to a character that is present in all the stories.

ONCE AGAIN ANOTHER SURPRISING THING! In each and every story they foreshadow the next story. Another way for the readers who really pay attention to stuff to start getting ideas and more invested into the story. The foreshadowing could be something like…..

“The news in the background played as I did the dishes. I didn’t really pay attention to the story they’re talking about. But I picked up on a few things here and there. It sounds like they are recalling a food due to people getting sick from it.”

The next story could be someone buying their favorite food from a store only for it to get poisoned by the killer.

See? You think I would stop there? Nope!

The motive of the killer is because they’re obsessive with this person (girl or boy) because he/she was kind to them during the time they were going through shitty stuff and also because no one was kind or even friendly to them.

Now would it be cool if the girl/boy was in the first story of the book? Probably in the first story no one dies but it’s just extremely creepy and unsettling somehow.

I don’t know, I swear I’m not writing a book like that. Ok maybe I will one day after I get my life in a good place. The examples where whatever I could think of so I didn’t think much about it.

I called it the story teller because it’s like a person is telling different POV’s of the same story.

I just found out that the type of book I want to read isn’t a thing…..Interconnected short stories are a thing it’s really fudging rare to find an Interconnected short horror stories. If that’s not giving me more motivation to write a book then I don’t know what is.

Please, ADHD and being creative as fuck is not a good idea for me.

#fanfic idea #Yandere #Yandere genshin #Yandere demon slayer #Yandere twst #Yandere tbhk #yandere ideas #Yandere male #Yandere girl #Yandere killer #Horror #thriller

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fangirlwriting-stories · 1 year

Text

Preventable Yet Inevitable

Summary: Remus knew from the start that Roman and Janus dating was not a good idea. But neither of them seem to want to listen to him.

...

Remus had always kind of felt iffy about it, if he was being honest with himself.

It’s not that he couldn’t see the obvious tension between his brother and his best friend. He just always kind of figured they’d get really drunk one night and wake up the next morning agreeing that last night had been great, but it should probably be a one time thing. For a multitude of reasons.

But then Roman and Janus came up to him one day and announced that they were dating.

Remus’ immediate thought, that he’d hate himself forever for, was Wow this is going to go down in flames.

But it was. Roman still had too low of self-esteem for dating to be a good idea. And Janus was way too good at manipulating people to get what he wanted. It was fine and fun when that involved dicks who the three of them agreed they didn’t want to associate with. Less fun when Remus considered what that meant in regards to his brother. Less fun when he considered Roman’s tendency to run himself into the ground trying to prove himself good enough.

Immediately, Remus tried to banish the thought, which, in retrospect, was his first mistake. He didn’t do that. He always addressed the fucked up bullshit that ran through his head. Laughed at it. Considered it. Marinated it. He did not try to banish it. That didn’t get rid of it.

But… fuck. Two of his favorite people that he loved told him they were dating, and suddenly Remus could see so clearly how it would end in disaster, and he didn’t want that for either of them.

But what was he supposed to do? Mediate things? That wouldn’t so much go down in flames as it would blow up their college campus.

So Remus was stupid. He smiled. He congratulated them. He told them he was happy for them. All while his head screamed at him No no no no bad idea bad idea.

He lied to himself like a moron. He told himself that maybe it wouldn’t go badly. Maybe he was wrong. It had happened before. Nevermind that he knew his brother and his best friend better than anyone else in the world. Maybe they’d surprise him.

God. He hoped so.

…

“Hey, Re. Whatcha up to?”

Remus glanced up from the couch over at Roman and raised an eyebrow. “So he does speak to me.”

Roman blinked. “What?”

“Oh nothing, I just figured you and Janus were still too busy being lost in each other’s eyes to acknowledge my presence.”

Roman winced. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Eh,” Remus waved it off as if he wasn’t worried and hurt. “Honeymoon phase. What’s going on?”

“Oh, actually I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight.”

“Janus busy?”

“…I’m sorry.”

Remus laughed a little. “It’s all good. What do you want to do?”

“I figured we could hate watch some shitty movies and make fun of the writing and editing together.”

“Oooh you know I’m always down to make fun of people!” Remus said happily. “What are we hate watching, The Nightmare Before Christmas?”

Roman instantly made sputtery offended noises, and Remus cackled.

“Alright fine, we don’t have to hate watch the Cats movie then,” Roman said, turning up his nose.

“Wait no I take it back!”

“That’s what I thought.”

They ended up in front of the TV with a bowl of popcorn and mockery turned up to eleven, and Remus was ready to settle in for a thoroughly entertaining night when Roman’s phone buzzed with a text. And then buzzed again. And then a third time.

“Dude, just respond,” Remus said, and Roman groaned, but picked up his phone.

Apparently he didn’t want to be texted by whoever was on the other end of the line, because when he looked at his phone he groaned again and rolled his eyes.

“Christ Janus, can’t I breathe?” Roman muttered, typing something out and sending it.

Remus tensed and then immediately tried very hard to intentionally relax. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, Janus is just asking where I am.”

“Uh�� I thought you said he was busy,” Remus said, now very much failing at intentionally relaxing.

“He is. I think he just wants to know,” Roman said with a shrug. “He’s not gonna care that I’m with you or anything.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, wondering why that needed to be clarified.

“Anyway, let’s watch a movie,” Roman said, setting his phone to the side and turning to grab the remote.

Remus turned to face the screen and started trying to relax again. Roman seemed to forget about it in a second, already reaching for the popcorn. He sat back with a look on his face that meant he was ready to tear this movie to shreds and love every second of it.

So Remus sat back and tried to let it go. Roman didn’t seem to mind. Maybe it was fine. He didn’t want to let a… a yellow flag ruin his night with Roman. He’d missed hanging out with him recently, and hate watching a shitty musical movie sounded like a fantastic way to blow off some steam.

Maybe Janus was just having a weird night, or was worried because something had happened that was none of Remus’ business. It was still fine.

Everything was fine.

…

Remus used the next day as excellent evidence that he was right about that, because they all ended up going to an art museum and having an amazing time, which was typical when the three of them were together.

Remus and Roman both poured over the symbolism in the modern art section, Remus and Janus liked looking at the abstract art (Janus to try and gain some deep insight and Remus to try and spot some dicks in the paintings), and Roman and Janus were both fascinated by the ancient art.

The whole time they were there Roman and Janus were hanging off of each other like an adorable couple and saying sweet things to each other and playfully teasing each other about their tastes in a way that meant they also totally understood. Remus absorbed it like salve on an open wound.

See? Look how adorable and totally normal and healthy they’re being. They are good for each other. They’re gonna give everyone cavities. It’s fine. You were wrong, and it’s fine.

After the museum they went to a cafe nearby, and all got appropriately fall themed pumpkin spice drinks.

Janus and Roman also got two straws, and while Remus was certainly glad that they were most definitely proving him wrong a hundred percent nothing to worry about here, there was also only so much he could take.

“God, I’m right here,” he said, giving Roman and Janus a look. “Can you two go five minutes without doing gross adorable couple shit?”

Janus stuck his tongue out at Remus and followed it up with a kiss on Roman’s cheek. Remus blew a raspberry at him and Roman laughed.

They went for a walk outside for a little while since it was nice enough to justify it, and ended up on a bench on the edge of the park to people watch.

“And that one,” Roman said, nodding at a passerby across the street with an almost comically large hat on, “is carrying a live hamster under their hat.”

“Oh of course, only the most logical place to put a live hamster,” Janus said, rolling his eyes.

“Well why else would they have a hat so big?”

“I think it’s a bowling ball,” Remus said.

Roman laughed. “What?”

“Well the hat is definitely big enough.”

“It kind of is,” Roman said through more laughter.

“Well what does that make of the hamster then?” Janus asked, leaning back on the bench.

“Obviously it’s one of the pins, Janus, come on,” Remus said, leaning back so he could grin at him.

Janus smirked back at him in a way that was clearly amused, and Remus felt the happy little trill that came whenever people found him funny. It didn’t really happen often. His sense of humor was too out there for most people to enjoy.

“They,” Roman said, drawing Remus out of large thoughts while pointing discreetly towards a person in a large fluffy dress across the street. “Are clearly coming back from a royal ball.”

“I disagree,” Janus said, leaning back on the bench. “They’re an assassin sneaking in to kill the royals. Why else would that dress clearly not suit them at all?”

“Janus,” Roman said, crossing his arms and giving Janus a look. “That’s rude.”

“Oh what, they don’t know me,” Janus said, rolling his eyes and pulling out his phone. “Why would they care what someone they don’t even know thinks of their fashion choice?”

“It’s just rude, that’s all,” Roman said, glaring away slightly.

Remus looked down and fidgeted with his fingers. Stop overreacting, you’re being stupid. Talk about something else.

“Hey,” he said, thankfully drawing both Roman and Janus’ attention. “I want to walk around the park and find some squirrels to terrorize. Who’s with me?”

Janus laughed a little. “You make a strong case,” he said.

“I think I’ll just walk and enjoy the scenery,” Roman said with a roll of his eyes. “But you two can knock yourselves out.”

Remus let out a slow breath as they all stood and started walking, and Janus and Roman both started smiling and pressing themselves against each other again.

Remus turned his gaze ahead and started looking for squirrels and put the rest of the interaction out of his mind.

The rest of the day would give him nothing to worry about. Of course not.

…

Roman and Janus continued to politely argue most of the afternoon. Remus barely even got to chase any squirrels. They all went home that night utterly squirelless.

He didn’t love how anxious he was about the whole thing either. It’s not like Janus and Roman hadn’t debated as friends. There didn’t have to be anything wrong here.

…Except for the fact that when they debated as friends they’d never stopped smiling, and today they had both been tense and the politeness had seemed forced.

What the hell was the difference? Why did their relationship dynamic have to change just because they were labeling it a different way? And why couldn’t Remus stop freaking out about it? It was fine, they were both probably just having a bad day. Nothing to worry about.

Besides, on the way home they were right back to being sickeningly adorable, so it was fine.

Remus was kind of forced to stick with that image for a while, whether he wanted to or not, because the next couple weeks Janus or Roman both seemed to be incredibly busy, and when they weren’t, they were spending time with each other. It was ridiculous how alone you could feel when you lived in an apartment with two other people.

On the night Remus had finally had enough, Roman was working late, which seemed like as good a solution as any. So Remus headed over to Janus’ room and knocked on his door, before shoving it open because who gives a fuck about privacy anyway?

“Hey Janny,” he said as he walked in. “Whatcha up to?”

Janus turned from his bed where he seemed to be angrily typing on his phone. “Trying to convince Roman to focus on work and leave me alone for two seconds,” Janus said with a roll of his eyes.

Remus’ chest pinched.

“Hey cool, so you want to go do something? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

A mix of relief and intrigue passed across Janus’ face, and he shoved his phone in his pocket. “Absolutely, yes, please get me out of here. What do you want to do?”

“What do you want to do?” Remus asked, shoving the slightly nauseated feeling down, down, down.

Janus gave him a mischievous smile. “When was the last time we went spray painting?”

Remus beamed.

Ten minutes later they were in the car headed towards their usual spot, and Remus was chatting happily about ideas he had that he hadn’t gotten to use yet.

Janus seemed to get lighter the more that they talked, and by the time they got there he was laughing right along with Remus.

Remus had decided eventually to paint two giant middle fingers battling for dominance like light sabers. Janus had decided to go way less inspired and just paint an abstract picture of a two headed serpent. Clearly, Remus had more artistic integrity here.

Just as Remus was finishing one of the fingers, however, Janus’ phone went off, and they both jumped at the sound, causing a large stripe of paint to go off course.

Remus looked around to check for anyone else as Janus scrambled to turn his phone on silent.

At least, Remus figured that’s what he was doing, and he turned back to see if he could salvage his painting. But then a second later, Janus started talking.

“For fucks sake Roman, what do you want?”

Remus turned to him in surprise and slight offense. They were kind of in the middle of something, weren’t they?

“I went out with Remus,” Janus snapped. “Do you have to know where I am every second of the day?”

There was a pause, where Remus tried to stare at Janus meaningfully.

“You’re supposed to be working anyway!” Janus said. He dropped the spray paint into the bag they’d brought and stormed away, leaving Remus standing there.

“…Am I supposed to be continuing then?” Remus asked the empty air, predictably getting no response.

“Well fuck you too.”

He turned back to his painting and started angrily salvaging the parts of it he could. By the time Janus came back, angrily stomping over with his phone still clutched in his hand, Remus was almost done.

“Oh, so have you decided to spend time with me now?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Not if Roman has his way,” Janus said, rolling his eyes and apparently mistaking Remus’ tone for an invitation to shit on his brother.

Remus huffed and turned and finished with the last part of his painting. “I’m done,” he said. “Meet you in the car. Don’t get arrested.”

He stormed off before Janus could reply.

…

The situation did not improve. Roman and Janus stayed consistently busy, and when they weren’t, they were either flirting in the kitchen or off somewhere doing who knows what. And Remus tried to take solace in the fact that they were doing cutesy couple things all the time, but he was starting to feel pretty lonely. And it kind of really sucked.

So you couldn’t really blame him for getting a little excited when someone knocked on his door for a change. Maybe the leaping out of bed and scrambling over was a bit much, though.

Roman confirmed that by blinking at him when Remus yanked the door open.

“Uh, hi,” he said. “You okay?”

“Oh yeah, I’m cool, I’m chill, just staying here, being totally casual,” Remus said, leaning against the doorframe. “What totally cool casual things are going on with you? Do you want to do something? Do you want to talk? I’m very down to do something or talk!”

“I guess I sort of want to talk?” Roman said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, can I just, can I vent for a second?”

He walked past Remus before he could reply, and paced to the other side of the room, which is probably why he didn’t notice Remus deflate heavily.

“Oh. Okay,” he said, walking much more slowly back to his bed as Roman spun around and continued to pace.

“I just can’t deal with Janus sometimes,” Roman groaned, looking up at the ceiling. “Like, I know he gets jealous easily, but I should be allowed to hang out with work friends without him getting all up in my case about it! Like seriously, I thought he didn’t want me to call him while I’m at work!”

“Mm-hmm,” Remus muttered, resting his head in his hands.

“And then he starts going off about Virgil, and like, he’s met Virgil! He knows I don’t have feelings for him! Like for fucks sake!”

“Yeah,” Remus said. He grabbed his phone from where he’d set it down on his bed and started scrolling through notifications.

“I don’t know, maybe I’m overreacting. I just wish he could give me some space to breathe sometimes. Know what I mean?”

“No,” Remus said candidly, glancing up at Roman. “I feel like I have plenty of space to breathe right now.”

“Oh, great,” Roman huffed, crossing his arms. “So he’s just like that with me, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Remus sighed, looking down again.

Roman sighed too. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just talk to him about it. Like, that’ll probably help, right?”

“Maybe?”

“Yeah, I think it probably will,” Roman said with a nod to himself. “I’m sure he just doesn’t realize how much this is bugging me. Thanks, Remus. I’m gonna go talk to him right now.”

He walked out of the room, leaving Remus sitting there.

Remus laughed a little, flipped off the empty air where Roman had been standing, and flopped back on his bed.

He at least wasn’t as surprised or hopeful when Janus showed up later that day to do the same thing.

“Roman said he talked to you,” Janus said the second Remus opened the door, arms already crossed.

Remus sighed and leaned his head against the doorframe. “Yeah, I guess. I’m sorry. Or you’re welcome. Which one do you want to hear?”

“I assume he didn’t tell you that he and the Virgil person that I’m apparently supposed to be fine with both flirt all the time right in front of me?” Janus said, walking past Remus.

Remus sighed again and shut the door after him. “No.”

“I’ve told him it bothers me, and he keeps doing it!” Janus snapped, whirling to face him. “This is his fault! We’ve made a commitment now, and he’s acting like that doesn’t mean anything!”

“Have you tried talking about it?”

“Yes,” Janus snapped, turning to glare at him. “I said I told him it was bothering me!”

“Have you tried explaining why?”

Janus paused. “Well… no. I guess technically I just said it was bothering me. But shouldn’t that be enough for him to at least ask me why if nothing else?”

“I don’t know. But it sounds like he didn’t. So maybe try explaining,” Remus said, walking over to his bed and sitting down again.

Janus scoffed. “I shouldn’t have to do that. He should know me well enough by now.”

“That’s not how people work—”

“Fine. I will be the bigger person,” Janus said, drawing himself up and stalking towards the door. “Thank you, I suppose. You could try getting the full story next time.”

He walked out before Remus could reply.

Remus turned, buried his head in his pillow, and screamed.

That argument apparently didn’t end there however, because that night Remus was kept up by the sound of them arguing.

“I just don’t see why you think it’s so wrong that I want to spend some time with friends!” Roman yelled, loud enough that Remus heard it clearly from down the hallway in his bedroom.

“There isn’t anything wrong with you wanting to spend time with friends! I take a bit of an issue when you start flirting with them!”

“We flirted when we were friends, Janus! It doesn’t mean anything!”

“Don’t I kind of get a say in that?”

Remus squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck,” he whispered to himself.

This is what he gets for trying to lie to himself about how this would go.

…

So he has to do something, right? That’s what has to happen next? He can’t just let this go on. For his own sake as much as theirs, honestly. That didn’t mean he knew what he should do, but he had to try something, at least.

He figured he’d start with Roman, and so he knocked on his door on a night he knew Janus was working, and found Roman on his bed watching a TV show on his laptop.

“Roman?” he asked as he pushed the door open. “Can we talk?”

Roman paused the show and turned to face him. “Can it wait? I’m pretty tired.”

Remus shoved down a spike of anger and took a deep breath. “I’d rather we talk now.”

Roman gave a long sigh but shut his laptop. “Alright. What’s going on?”

Remus walked forward and sat down on the bed, taking a minute to try and figure out how to word this.

Roman clearly noticed, because he raised an eyebrow and sat up slightly. “Is there something you need to tell me, Remus?”

“How are you and Janus doing?” Remus asked hesitantly.

Roman narrowed his eyes slightly. “Fine. Is that all? I’m going to go back to my show now.”

“Roman,” Remus groaned, looking up at the ceiling.

“You live in the same apartment as us, do you not know how we’re doing?” Roman asked.

Remus bit his lip against a scream and squeezed his fingernails against the palm of his hand. “Well, neither of you have really talked to me recently, Roman,” he said.

“Sorry, we’ve been busy,” Roman said, crossing his arms.

Remus took a deep breath. “Busy staying up half the night fighting?”

“Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Remus said, holding up his hands. “I’m just pointing out something I’ve noticed.”

“What Janus and I disagree on isn’t any of your business.”

Remus took another deep breath. “You yell so loud it keeps me up, Roman.”

“Put a pillow over your ear,” Roman snapped, leaning forward. “And get out of my room. My relationship is my business.”

“You’re kind of making it my business,” Remus said through gritted teeth.

“Really? Because you’re the one who came in here and tried to butt your way into it,” Roman said, glaring at Remus. “And I’m the one telling you to back off.”

“Roman. For fucks sake.”

Roman narrowed his eyes dangerously, to the point where Remus realized this probably wasn’t going to work.

“Get. The fuck. Out. Remus.”

Remus looked at him for a minute longer, but Roman didn’t back down, so finally Remus turned and left.

Maybe he’d have better luck with Janus.

He couldn’t exactly plan on getting ahold of him alone soon, however, and until then, Remus wasn’t exactly surprised to be kept up by more yelling.

“Oh, so you just think I’m a shitty person?”

“What— did I say that? I missed the part where I said that!”

“Well you never pay attention anyway it’s not like that’s a surprise!”

Remus shoved the pillow further over his head. Maybe if he was lucky it would suffocate him and then he could finally get some fucking sleep.

“You could try being a little more supportive, you know!”

“More supportive? If anything I give you too much support! It’s not like your ego could get any bigger!”

“I cannot believe you, I— argh!”

Or he could just bang his head into the wall until he gave himself a concussion and fell unconscious.

Remus pulled the blanket up and over the pillow, which at least muffled the yelling enough that he could hear himself think. That was a start, maybe.

It was still enough that Remus decided he couldn’t any longer, and the next morning, when he got home from his classes, he waited in the kitchen until Janus finally showed up.

In retrospect, he should have waited. He was exhausted, and irritated, and definitely not in the place to have an incredibly delicate conversation that hadn’t even worked with Roman, much less Janus. He was terrible at incredibly delicate conversations on a good day, and this was not that.

But he also couldn’t stomach the thought of listening to Roman and Janus fight for another night, so instead of anything remotely smart, he turned to Janus the second he walked in and opened with “Hey stop fucking fighting.”

Janus started, and turned to Remus, raising an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“I can’t sleep,” Remus said. “You yell too loud. And I can’t imagine you’re getting much sleep either, which can’t be helping in the first place. Stop fighting. It’s not helpful.”

Janus stared at him for a second, then narrowed his eyes, seeming offended and irritated, which is why Remus shouldn’t have had this conversation right now.

He just didn’t know when else to have it.

“That,” Janus said coldly. “Is completely over the line, Remus. It’s not your place to get involved, and even setting that aside, you could have done it in a different way—”

“How?” Remus begged. “We never talk. I haven’t seen either of you in ages. You’re always busy, or with each other, or fighting so loud it keeps me awake at night. I’m exhausted, and I’m worried, and I’m lonely, Janus!”

Janus crosses his arms, glaring at Remus. “Well, maybe you should have stopped to consider that you’re the problem,” he said. “Couples argue sometimes, Remus. It doesn’t make it any of your business.”

He turned to walk out of the room.

“I haven’t slept well in a week,” Remus said weakly.

Janus didn’t say anything as he left.

Remus went out that evening and bought some earplugs.

…

It was a couple days later when Roman and Janus approached him together. Remus was too done to have any sort of expectations, but they both looked a little sheepish and hesitant as they knocked and opened his door, which was new.

“Hey Remus,” Roman said. “Can we talk?”

Remus set his phone down and looked up. Might as well get it over with. “What?”

“We, uh,” Roman said, fidgeting with his hands. “So we talked a little bit, and uh, we kind of realized you were right.”

Remus’ eyes widened, and he sat up. “Wait, seriously?”

“We didn’t exactly realize how long it’s been since we’ve spent time together,” Janus said, looking to the side and seeming profoundly uncomfortable. “And that…” He trailed off.

“We’ve kind of been ignoring you,” Roman continued, rubbing the back of his neck. “So we wanted to say sorry.”

Remus stared for a minute, not really processing what he was hearing. “You… wanted to say sorry?”

Roman gave him a weak smile, and behind him, Janus held up a bottle of soda. “Apologies and Friday night movie night?” he asked.

Remus stared for another minute, and then started to grin. “I get to pick the movie!”

“Oh no,” Roman muttered, but he didn’t object.

Remus cackled. “Meet you in the living room in ten, and y’all better have popcorn!”

“Okay, well if I knew you’d be making demands,” Janus said, but he didn’t object either.

Remus snatched up his phone and did a happy dance to the living room. He put on some screaming loud music to dance the excitement out too, because he definitely had not been expecting this.

When the song ended, however, Remus was presented with clear and definitive evidence that he was a moron for getting his hopes up.

“See, I told you that you were causing problems,” Janus said from the kitchen, just loud enough that Remus heard it.

Remus sat up straighter but didn’t turn around.

“I cannot believe you are trying to pin this all on me right now,” Roman hissed, still loud enough for Remus to hear. “Just because Remus approached you— which he approached me first by the way—”

“And clearly you did such an excellent job with that,” Janus said, in the verbal tone of rolling his eyes.

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that clearly you don’t know how to have actual relationships with people! When was the last time you talked to Remus?”

“When was the last time you talked to Remus?”

Remus leaned forward and buried his head in his hands. No, no, no.

He’s so fucking stupid.

“Not as long ago as you! But why should I be surprised, with the way you mess everything up all the time!”

“Hey!”

Roman sounded hurt by that. Remus should do something.

“Well I’m not the one who thinks it’s fun to try and manipulate people!”

“You are such a—”

Remus stood up, walking past the kitchen and into the entryway, grabbing his jacket and keys.

He was going to need something to help him sleep tonight.

…

“Give me five shots of the strongest shit you’ve got,” Remus said, sitting down at the bar and resting his chin on his hands.

“Yowza, you doing okay buddy?”

“Do I look like I’m doing okay? Give me five shots of the strongest shit you’ve got.”

There wasn’t any reply, and a couple minutes later Remus got five shots pushed towards him. He downed them one after the other, and tapped the counter, putting one of the shot glasses upright.

Thankfully, it didn’t take too long for the world to start going numb at the edges, even if Remus didn’t feel better. Why the fuck didn’t he feel better, can he not have this one thing?

It was way too soon when the bartender called closing, however, even if Remus didn’t move. He waited until everyone else had filed out while rolling the empty shot glass on the table in front of him around on its edge and listening to the pretty sound it made.

“Hey, bud, I’m gonna call you a cab, okay?” came the bartender’s voice. “Do you have an address I should give them?”

Remus turned to look at the bartender. He kept his gaze for a couple seconds, then turned and dropped his head in his arms and burst into tears.

He vaguely heard the bartender mutter, “Oh boy,” but he didn’t pay it much mind, choosing instead to sit there and cry, because that seemed like the better option right now. That was going to solve all of his problems, right?

He’d tried everything else.

He doesn’t know how long it’s been when he finally pulls his head up, but now he has a headache on top of being drunk and sad, which is just an amazing combination.

For some reason, however, when he does, the bartender is still standing next to him.

“Hey,” he said, giving a small smile. “You feeling any better?”

Remus turned to stare at him. “The fuck are y’still doin’ here?” he slurred.

The person sighed. “Well, you’re part of my job right now bud. I’ve got to make sure you get home safe.”

“Oh. S’rry.”

“Don’t be. I’m getting paid overtime.”

“Don’t wanna go home,” Remus said, shaking his head as tears welled in his eyes again. “I don’t wanna, they won’t— they won’t stop fighting.”

“Who’s fighting?”

“Knew this was a terrible idea,” Remus said, dropping his head onto his hand. “Knew it but I didn’t say anything because ‘m an idiot, ‘m an idiot who let them do it when I shouldn’t’ve.”

“Mm,” the bartender said, probably not having any idea what the fuck Remus was talking about.

A second later, a door opened in the background, and a more familiar voice called, “Alright Pat, I got your text, who do you need help kicking out?”

Remus dragged his head up and looked over towards the door to see Virgil standing there. And though they’d only met a couple times when Remus had come to annoy Roman at work, Virgil seemed to recognize him too.

“Woah, dude,” he said, moving forward. “You okay? Remus, right?”

“You know him?” the bartender asked, sounding surprised.

“Sorta. He’s Roman’s brother.”

“Ah,” the bartender said. “He keeps saying he doesn’t want to go home, and something about how ‘they’ won’t stop fighting.”

Virgil absorbed this for a second, then sighed. “Fuck,” he mumbled. “I knew something felt off.”

He walked forward and took a seat on the other side of Remus, and Remus looked over at him.

“Hi,” Virgil said. “Are you gonna murder me in my sleep?”

“There’s not a lot of good rhymes for murder,” Remus said.

“Cool. You can crash with me tonight, then.”

Tears welled in Remus’ eyes again, and he reached out towards Virgil. “Y’re so nice,” he cried.

“Uh-huh, yeah, I’m an angel,” Virgil said, leaning away. “If you puke in my car I’m kicking you out though.”

“I’ll clock out and meet you there,” the bartender said. “I think you might need me for the emotions talk tomorrow.”

“I definitely will, and you’re a lifesaver, Pat,” Virgil said, reaching forward and grabbing Remus underneath the armpit.

Remus half walked, half was-dragged to the car, and he fell asleep before Virgil even started it.

…

Waking up with a massive hangover in a place you’re not familiar with wasn’t exactly on Remus’ top ten favorite things to do.

It’s not that he was completely unfamiliar with it, it had happened before. It still wasn’t his favorite.

If the “waking up in a room you don’t recognize” part hadn’t clued him in, however, the silence would have. There wasn’t any screaming. Remus could breathe.

…He could go back to sleep.

And that’s what he did.

He woke up again a little later to someone shaking his shoulder.

“No,” he groaned, pulling the blankets over his head.

“Sorry kiddo, you need to drink this. It’ll help you feel better.”

“Just leave me here to sleep and then die,” Remus moaned.

“I don’t think I’ll be doing either of those things. I do think I’m owed a bit of a thank you though.”

“Fuck you. Why am I thanking you?”

Remus pulled the blanket down as he asked, and is met with a face he vaguely remembers handing him alcohol last night.

“Fuck.”

“Language.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said, pushing himself upwards and dropping his head into his hands. “God, I made you—”

“You did not make me do anything,” the bartender corrected. “I would not have brought you here if I was not sure it was safe for all of us. But Virgil says he trusts you, at least enough not to do anything. And I trust Virgil.”

“Oh fuck, no, I’m not a stalker or murderer or anything,” Remus said. “I’m just garbage. Can you turn down the sun?”

“Drink this,” the bartender said, holding out a glass of water to Remus.

Remus took it and downed it in one go, then laid back down in bed and pulled the covers over his head again.

“I’m gonna bring you some greasy food in a bit,” the bartender said.

“Sorry,” Remus said again.

“It’s okay, kiddo.”

“Wha’s your name?”

“I’m Patton. Virgil said your name is Remus?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay then, Remus, we can talk later. For now you should get some sleep, and I’ll bring you food in a bit.”

“Sorry.”

“Thank you?”

Remus is quiet for a minute.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, kiddo.”

…

Remus woke up a couple hours later, ate a good hamburger and fries, and felt a little better after that.

Unfortunately, Patton and Virgil seemed to consider it important to have this conversation right now, instead of tomorrow or perhaps never.

So, they dragged Remus out into the living and sat him down on a chair adjacent to a couch they both sat on.

Remus attempted to admire the very emo decor that seemed very Virgil, with spiders and black curtains and Nightmare Before Christmas posters. But it didn’t seem either of them were going to let him.

“Okay,” Virgil said, folding his hands together. “So. We should probably talk about some stuff?”

Remus huffed and flopped back in the chair. “It’s… fine,” he grumbled. “I was drunk, I didn’t know what I was saying.”

“No, but you were very upset,” Patton said, raising an eyebrow. “In my experience, being drunk tends to make you more likely to say what’s on your mind than entirely make things up.”

“No, I just— I was being stupid,” Remus muttered. “It’s my own problem. Or it’s not, but I don’t— I can handle it. Thanks for the ride and the food, but I can pay you back, I should… I should go home now.”

The thought kind of made him sick, and he was pretty sure both Patton and Virgil could tell.

“Dude.” Virgil sat forward, crossing his arms. “If you were talking about Roman and Janus, you’re not the only one worried about them.”

Remus looked hesitantly over at Virgil.

“Something’s felt off to me from the moment I heard they were dating,” Virgil said. “And Roman hasn’t exactly seemed happy at work lately. In ways that I can’t just attribute the fucking nightmares of customers we have to deal with.”

Remus looked away.

“So I’m right, then? They’re not okay?”

“They— fuck.” Remus buried his head in his hands. “I knew they were bad for each other from the moment they started dating,” he mumbled. He dragged his hands through his hair, and flopped back against the couch. “But I didn’t say anything. Because I was an idiot. And now they’re just… god, it’s all my fault.”

“Uh, what?” Virgil asked, sounding a little baffled. “No. It isn’t. It’s not your job to fix other people’s relationships.”

“But— but they fight all the time,” Remus said. “They yell at each other and I can’t fall asleep and they’re miserable. And I should have said something from the start.”

“Maybe,” Patton said, leaning forward. “But you can’t be sure that would have helped, kiddo. Or that they would have listened. So don’t worry about what you should have done. Let’s just take things from where they are now.”

Remus didn’t say anything for a moment. Then something Patton said caught in his mind and he looked up. “What do you mean let’s?”

“Dude,” Virgil said, crossing his arms. “We’re not gonna let you deal with this on your own.”

“But— you don’t even know me.”

“Roman and I are friends,” Virgil said, waving his hand dismissively. “That makes us, like, friends in law.”

Remus couldn’t help the startled laugh that came out of his mouth.

“It sounds like you need some help, kiddo,” Patton said. “And we’re not going to send you back home without it.”

Remus blinked at them for a minute, not sure what to say. “But you— I—”

Patton smiled. “Thank you?”

Remus blinked at him. Looked down. Looked up again. “Thank you,” he said finally.

“You’re welcome,” Patton said. “So, for starters, how about you tell us what you’ve tried?”

Remus ended up giving them a rundown of Roman and Janus’ relationship, or at least the parts of it he’d seen. The lessening of the time spent together and the constant fighting and the general misery of the whole situation. He explained the times he’d tried to talk to them and how poorly it had gone. And the whole time, Patton and Virgil listened. Virgil looked concerned, but Remus couldn’t read Patton’s face at all.

Finally, when he finished, Patton leaned back and crossed his arms. “Okay,” he said. “I don’t think you’re going to like what I have to say.”

“What?” Remus asked warily.

“You’re going to have to let them burn themselves out.”

Remus instantly shook his head desperately. “I don’t want to—”

“I know,” Patton said gently. “But it sounds like you’ve tried talking with them and pointing out how unhealthy things are and it hasn’t worked. At a certain point, there isn’t anything else you can do than just let them sort it out themselves.”

“But they aren’t.”

Patton gave Remus a hesitant look. “It doesn’t sound like there’s anything you can do about that.”

“Don’t hurt yourself trying to help them,” Virgil said quietly.

Remus shook his head. “Roman’s my brother, and Janus is my best friend.”

Patton nodded, giving him a sympathetic smile. “I know, kiddo.”

Remus didn’t say anything, just wrapped his arms around himself.

“Hey,” Virgil said. “If you want, I have an idea that can help. All of you, I think.”

Remus glanced up at him. “Yeah?”

“You can stay here with me if you want,” Virgil said. “At least as long as you promise not to throw any parties. It’ll give you a chance to breathe, and Roman and Janus might start to realize something’s wrong if they realize they drove you out of the apartment.”

“Who knows how long that’ll take,” Remus muttered. He glanced up at Virgil. “But… okay. Thanks. I’ll pay you back.”

“Eh, you cover food and I’ll call us even,” Virgil said with a dismissive wave.

Remus nodded. “Okay, deal.”

“That sounds like a good plan to me,” Patton said, standing to signify the conversation was moving on. “Now I don’t know about you, but this sounds like an ice cream and movie night situation to me. Do you have a favorite movie, Remus?”

“Shrek,” Remus said instantly.

“Oh god,” Virgil groaned. “I am so going to regret this.”

…

Living with Virgil makes Remus remember what it’s like to enjoy the company of the people you live with.

They end up clicking really well. Remus vibed with spook, so his decorating style fit in with Virgil’s almost perfectly. They both loved horror movies. And while Virgil had betrayed Dreamworks to Disney like his brother, Remus could forgive him because they both shared an adoration for The Nightmare Before Christmas. Patton came around often too, as he and Virgil were apparently much closer than Remus realized. And while Remus didn’t click with Patton nearly as well as Virgil, they shared an affinity for puns and, shockingly, fire (albeit for very different reasons, Patton liked s’mores and Remus liked arson).

He didn’t stop worrying about Janus and Roman, but things felt lighter and more manageable. He didn’t get any questions about where he was, though, which… hurt. But it wasn’t anything he hadn’t expected.

It apparently pissed Patton the fuck off, though.

“You’re their friend!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up and dropping them back down on the kitchen table. “I understand they’re not in a great place, but they should notice that you haven’t been around in a week and a half! I’ve dealt with blackout drunk people with more awareness!”

Remus snorted. “I’m dying to know how true that statement actually is,” he said, leaning back in his chair.

“It’s not completely untrue,” Patton muttered, rolling his eyes.

“I’m more worried about how they’re doing,” Remus admitted. “They’ve got to be… not good, if they’re this unaware of what’s going on.”

“Roman never seems good at work,” Virgil muttered, from where he was stirring the soup on the stove. “Do you want me to ask about you, or something?”

Remus considered the idea for a minute. “No,” he said eventually. “I… I’d rather just hang out with you guys. I don’t want to put in the effort they’re not giving back anymore.”

Virgil turned and gave him a small smile that meant he thought that was a good choice. “Okay,” he said.

And so life continued. Finals approached. All three of them got ready to fail most of them, then studied their asses off and passed with decent results. In the aftermath, Remus learned that Patton and Virgil apparently did not go anywhere for the holidays, for different reasons. Virgil’s family were transphobic assholes, and Patton’s lived in the same city, so they both usually ended up at Patton’s parents for Christmas. According to Patton, they were very cool with Remus coming along this year.

Remus didn’t want to have to go home and deal with Roman and Janus. He’d called his own parents and explained he wasn’t coming home, and they never particularly wanted to see Remus anyway, so they didn’t care. Roman used to get pissed at them for that attitude. It hurt more than Remus wanted to admit that he wasn’t there to be angry this time.

Patton’s family was spectacular. His parents greeted Patton and Virgil with smiles and squeezing hugs that both of them clearly appreciated. They then turned to Remus and asked if he would be comfortable with a hug, or if he would prefer something else.

Remus wanted a hug after the nightmare of this semester, so he opened his arms, and as expected, Patton’s parents were amazing at hugs.

And that pretty much set the vibe for most of the break. Remus got to feel wanted at Christmastime for the first time in who knows how long. Patton, Virgil, and Patton’s parents were all apparently amazing at making people feel included. Patton and his parents all blamed it on their parents being good at it, and Virgil blamed it on knowing the feeling of not being wanted himself, but that didn’t mean Remus appreciated it any less.

He eventually settled into the idea of staying here for the whole break. He got all the way to Christmas Eve, when everyone else had rushed out to do last minute shopping and Remus was staying behind to make dinner for when they got back. But just as he was putting the cookies in the oven and looking over Patton’s very specific instructions, his phone went off.

Remus grabbed it and answered without looking at who was calling. “Yes, I made sure to add the extra cinnamon, for pete’s sake Pat.”

“…Re?”

Remus nearly dropped the phone. “Roman?”

“Re, can you—” a sob came from the other side of the phone. “Janus— Janus isn’t moving—”

Remus’ heart jumped to his throat. “What? What do you mean Janus isn’t— where the fuck are you?”

“I— I don’t know, the— I think we hit someone, I—”

“Oh my god, hang up and call 911 you idiot!”

“I— okay, okay, I—”

The line cut out and Remus pulled the phone away from his ear, his hand shaking.

He reached for the oven and turned it off, and ran for the living room, grabbed his coat and his car keys, though he didn’t exactly know where to go.

He ended up sitting in his car for a good fifteen minutes and trying to breathe before he got another call from Roman.

“Where are you?” Remus asked, shoving the phone up to his ear.

“In an ambulance, they— they’re taking us to the hospital,” Roman said, an obvious shake still in his voice. “Re, Janus— Janus won’t wake up. He won’t wake up, Re, he won’t—”

“Breathe you moron,” Remus snapped, mostly to cover for his own terror. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Are you hurt?”

“I— I’m okay I— oh god—”

“Breathe, Roman. In and out through your nose. Is there someone there to help you?”

“They’re helping Janus,” Roman said weakly. “Re, we— we were fighting and— and neither of us were looking at the road, I— this is all my fault, I—”

“Shut up and breathe,” Remus snapped. “I’ll be there soon.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Roman?”

“Someone’s here,” Roman said shakily. “I— I’ll see you—” The line cuts out again.

Remus started to reach for the shift to put the car in drive, but as soon as he realized his hand was shaking too badly to drive, he switched gears and scrambled for his phone instead, then called Patton.

He wasn’t sure what exactly he was planning on happening, but the second Patton said, “What’s up kiddo?” he burst into tears.

“Remus? Remus what’s wrong?” Patton asked, sounding deeply concerned.

“Janus—” he managed. “Janus is hurt, and Roman— I have to go to the hospital, Pat, I—”

“Remus, you need to breathe,” Patton said, his voice lower and more gentle. “I’m coming back there right now, okay, I’ll drive you.”

“Patton, he— Roman said Janus wasn’t waking up,” Remus choked.

“Okay, don’t think about that. Just breathe. In and out, okay? I’ll be there soon.”

“I— I’m sorry I— you shouldn’t have to deal with me right now—”

“Hey, none of that, kiddo. You’re my friend, and you’re scared, and this is what you do for friends who need it. Just keep breathing. We’re headed out to the car now.”

“Fuck, it’s Christmas Eve,” Remus muttered. “It’s Christmas Eve and you were shopping and I—”

“Remus. Listen to me. There is nowhere we would be other than coming there to help you, do you understand?”

Remus took a shaky breath. “Okay,” he whispered.

“Okay,” Patton said gently. “We’ll be there soon, kiddo.”

They weren’t lying, and Remus suspected Patton’s mother was speeding to get back here, because it took less time than it should have.

Remus was given the front seat of the minivan so he could jump out and run inside when he got to the hospital, and then they all pulled off again, barely remembering to lock Remus’ car.

Remus very much did run out as soon as they got there, and into the main lobby, not bothering to check if anyone was behind him (he was pretty sure they’d forgive his rudeness).

He ran straight to the man at the front desk, who apparently couldn’t tell him anything about Janus since they weren’t related, but his boyfriend Roman should know, and Remus got to hear about him due to brother status.

The man said that Roman was sitting on a bed in the emergency room, since he wasn’t badly hurt enough to need his own room, and was mostly just in shock. So Remus told him there’d be people coming after him who were okay to join, then followed the signs directing him to the emergency room.

Sure enough, there was Roman, sitting on the side of a bed with a bandage on his forehead and staring at the ground, looking faint.

Now that he was actually here, some of the terror was fading a bit, and anger was taking its place.

Remus came to a stop right in front of Roman. “I was making cookies,” he said through gritted teeth.

Roman looked up at him, still seeming too faint to be surprised. “What?”

“I was making,” Remus growled. “Christmas Eve cookies. I was going to eat them, they were going to be delicious, and now there is a bowl of batter sitting on the counter that was chilled last night and was supposed to go right into the fucking oven.”

Roman blinked at him. “What?”

Remus buried his head in his hands and tried very hard not to scream through gritted teeth. “You fuckers were driving? I’m going to kill you both.”

“Remus!”

Remus spun around just in time for Patton to collide into him and pull him up into a bone-crushing hug that they’d been too much of a rush in before for him to give.

Remus buried his head in Patton’s shoulder and let out a shaky breath. A second later Virgil joined from the other side, and all three of them stood there for a minute and breathed.

“It’s okay,” Patton whispered. “It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.”

Remus pulled back first a couple seconds later with a murmur of thanks, in time to see Patton’s parents approaching, looking equally frazzled. He gave them both a grateful smile as they approached.

Finally, Remus turned back around to look at Roman, who was staring up at the scene in dazed confusion.

“What…” he said weakly, which unfortunately for him caught Virgil’s attention.

“You,” Virgil said with a glare at him. “You little shit. Are you fucking kidding me? What were you thinking?”

Roman leaned back, seeming appropriately nervous. “What?”

“Virgil, it’s okay, I’ll handle this,” Patton said, putting a hand on his shoulder. He walked up to Roman and leaned right in his face.

“What were you thinking? Do you know what you and Janus have put your brother through? Do you have any idea what he’s been dealing with? Do you know how worried he’s been? When was the last time you looked up from your own life long enough to notice he wasn’t there? Or are you just so incapable of pulling your head out of your own B-hole that you didn’t even notice he hasn’t been around in months? What do you have to say for yourself—”

“Okay,” Patton’s father said, coming up from behind and pulling Patton back from Roman. “You are yelling quite a bit at someone who has a head trauma.”

“A minor head trauma,” Virgil muttered angrily.

“It’s okay,” Remus said, despite how little he wanted to. “Just… it’s fine. We’re gonna be here a while, let’s just try not to scream at each other.”

Virgil and Patton looked just as unhappy as he felt saying it, but after a minute they nodded, and they all shifted to stand as comfortably as they could around Roman’s bed.

Roman himself still looked bewildered by everything going on, looking between Remus and Patton and Virgil and Patton’s parents like he had just a bit too much of a concussion to put the pieces together.

Remus didn’t really have the patience to wait for his head to clear.

“What’s happening with Janus,” he said, crossing his arms and looking down at Roman.

Roman glanced up at him and blinked a couple times, then looked down at his hands, which were way too still for someone who fidgeted as much as he did. “Um,” he said. “He’s in surgery. They said he’s probably— probably not gonna die but they can’t be s-sure—” Roman pressed a hand to his mouth and muffled a sob that Remus decidedly did not acknowledge.

“When will they know for sure,” Remus said.

“C-couple hours,” Roman whispered. “He probably won’t be out of surgery by then, but they’ll know.”

“Okay,” Remus said. His voice sounded hollow.

After a second Patton walked over and stood in front of him. “If it’s okay with you, I’m gonna hug you again,” he said.

Remus nodded, because there was nothing he wanted right now more than to have the life squeezed out of him. If he wasn’t pissed at Roman into next Christmas, he might have wanted him to lay on top of him. He’d used to be really good at that. But for now, Patton squeezed him as tightly as he knew Remus liked, and Remus buried his head in Patton’s shoulder and breathed.

Eventually, Patton and Virgil took Remus over to the other side of the emergency room, and Patton’s parents stayed with Roman like the adults who had the emotional bandwidth to deal with Roman right now. If they hadn’t been waiting to hear about Janus, Remus might have taken Virgil and Patton up on their offer to go get Starbucks.

Well. If they hadn’t been waiting to hear about Janus and it wouldn’t have meant leaving Patton’s parents completely alone with Roman.

Finally, a doctor came into the room and headed over for Roman, and Remus leaped up immediately to go join, followed closely by Patton and Virgil.

Once everyone was there, the doctor spoke.

“He’s going to be recovering for a while,” she said. “But he’ll live.”

Remus’ breath rushed out of his lungs and he pressed his head into his hands. Virgil and Patton both wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“They’ll be done with the surgery in another couple of hours,” the doctor said. “And he’ll probably be asleep for a while after that. Unfortunately we can’t make you very comfortable here. If you’d like, we can contact you when he wakes up.”

No one said anything for a minute, so eventually Patton’s mother stepped forward.

“That will be fine,” she said, as she walked them both a little ways away from Roman. “Who do we leave our number with?”

While the two of them worked that out, Remus turned to look back at Roman, who was staring after them.

“Next time,” Remus said, drawing Roman’s attention. “Can you just have a one night stand so we can all go back to our perfectly good friendship?”

Roman let out a shaky breath. And then another one, and another. Remus saw the breakdown coming a second before Roman did. He sighed to move forward and sit on the bed as Roman leaned over his knees and started to sob, choking out apologies in between winces of pain.

Remus looked over at him for a couple of seconds and then patted him a couple times on the back, which turned into his best attempt at a comforting rub when Roman didn’t stop sobbing. Eventually he turned and pressed his head against Remus’ stomach, and Remus wrapped his arms around him as best he could from the awkward position.

Patton moved after a second and leaned against Remus from the other side, and Virgil sat on Patton’s other side and leaned around to rub Remus’ back. Remus was pretty sure he’d never been more grateful for two people in his life.

After a while, Roman’s sobs quieted, and he pulled back, seeming to realize he didn’t really deserve to ask Remus for comfort. Remus rolled his eyes, let out a sigh, and pulled Roman back to his side anyway.

After a minute, Patton’s mother came back over. “Okay,” she said. “We can take you all back home with us for now. It’ll be a little crowded with Roman there too, but we’ve got an air mattress we can pull out of the basement.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Remus said instantly. “I’ll take Roman back to the old apartment. You should just enjoy your Christmas.”

“Remus,” Patton’s father said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m amazed you think we could enjoy this Christmas without you there.”

Remus blinked. “But—”

“You’re family, mister,” Patton said, leaning his head against Remus.’ “Like we wouldn’t be worried out of our minds if you weren’t there for us to check on.”

Remus looked over at Patton and blinked a couple more times. Patton pulled him into another hug, and Remus let out a shaky breath.

“Okay,” he whispered.

“It doesn’t matter,” Roman said, shifting away from Remus. “I’m staying here.”

Remus turned and gave him a look. “I thought they were going to discharge you.”

Roman nodded. “They were. I’m waiting for Janus to wake up.”

“That’s not a good idea if you’ve had a head injury,” Patton’s mother said, stepping forward. “Just because they’re discharging you doesn’t mean you won’t need to be looked after for a time.”

Roman shook his head, then winced at the movement, another demonstration of why he shouldn’t be staying here alone.

“No, I need to wait for Janus,” he said anyway. “It’s not fair that I’m going to be comfortable in a house while he’s here.”

“Not fair?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

Roman looked down at his hands. “Janus was driving,” he said quietly. “And the car swerved so the passenger side was going to be hit, but then Janus jerked the car around.”

Remus whacked Roman’s arm as hard as he dared. “Idiot. That’s not your fault.”

“He almost died!” Roman said, glaring upwards.

“But he didn’t. Do you think staying here and making things harder on yourself is going to help him? Do you think that’s not exactly what he’d say to you if he was awake and talking?”

Roman looked away.

“Come on,” Remus said. “You have to help me make a new batch of cookies.”

Roman wiped his eyes. “Okay,” he said, his voice cracking horribly on the word.

So everyone eventually made their way to the car, and then back to Patton’s house. Both of Patton’s parents headed out to try and get as much of the shopping done as they still could, and Remus, Patton, Virgil, and Roman, all headed into the house.

Roman did help Remus remake the cookies, and though they’d have to be chilled for another night before they could have them now, he seemed appropriately guilty enough that Remus could forgive him.

Jury was still out on everything else.

…

Roman ended up sitting in the background of most of the Christmas activities, and while Patton’s parents made an effort to talk to him, Remus didn’t, and no one seemed to begrudge him for that. So he spent his time watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with Patton and Virgil, talking over memories they all came up with throughout the night, and opening one present each for Christmas Eve. (Remus got a small morningstar keychain from Virgil that was just sharp enough to make him cackle with delight. Patton opened a card from Virgil that had a very sweet family sentiment on it, and Virgil opened Remus’ gift, which was a giant set of Nightmare Before Christmas posters that Virgil ranted about for twenty minutes.)

They all ended up sleeping curled up in a pile together in the living room as it got later and none of them wanted to move, and Remus was perfectly content sleeping through the night in a pile of tangled limbs.

Or at least, he would have been.

But in the middle of the night, he woke up to the sound of someone walking through the living room, and turned with a grumble to see Roman standing at the edge of the couch.

Remus was tempted for a moment to roll over in a dismissive way and go back to sleep, but then Roman sighed and looked away.

“How much did I miss?” he mumbled.

“What the fuck did you want me to do?” Remus asked. “It’s been months. Did you expect me to wait around forever?”

“No, of course not,” Roman said, crossing his arms, though he looked closer to uncomfortable than to angry. “I… it’s just jarring, okay?”

“Well maybe you should have been there when we met,” Remus said, narrowing his eyes.

Roman nodded. “I know,” he said quietly. “I… I’m sorry, Remus.”

“Gee, thanks. Can I go back to sleep now?”

Roman glared at him. “Hey, I’m actually trying here,” he snapped.

Patton mumbled something and shifted in his sleep.

Remus glanced over at him, then sighed and slipped away from his side, then stood, walking as quietly as he could over to Roman. He grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the back patio, unlocking and opening the screen door, then closing it behind them.

Roman shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. “It’s cold as shit.”

“Deal with it,” Remus snapped. “You know something? I tried too, you shithead. I tried over and over. I tried to talk to you, I tried to include myself in your lives more, I tried voicing my concerns. The one time you apologized and offered to try and make it up to me, you went right back to arguing before we could get started, so I stormed out of the apartment and got drunk and didn’t come back. And you never noticed.”

Roman looked down at his feet with obvious shame. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t— I couldn’t see past my own shit.”

“Glad you finally worked that out.”

“What do you want me to say?” Roman asked, looking up almost desperately at Remus, sounding dangerously close to crying again. “I’m sorry. I don’t— do you want me to say something else?”

“Do I have to forgive you because you’re sorry?” Remus exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “You fucker. You hurt me. That shit fucked me up.”

“I’m sorry,” Roman said again. “I don’t know what else to say. I don’t have an explanation. I don’t have an excuse. You know what happened. I don’t know what else to say.”

Remus laughed bitterly, looking up at the sky. He didn’t know what else he wanted him to say either.

“Please,” Roman choked out, wrapping his arms around himself. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me alone with him again.”

Remus looked back down at him. Roman pressed his hands to his face and started to sob, big heaving ones that seemed to shake his whole body.

Remus sighed and pressed his own hand to his forehead. “Okay,” he muttered.

Roman looked back at him through his tears, and Remus reached out and pulled him in. Roman started sobbing more apologies onto his shoulder, and Remus listened to him and tried to figure out why they weren’t working for him when he clearly meant them.

“Roman?” he said after a second.

Roman took a huge effort of a breath. “Yeah?” he managed.

“Prove it.”

Roman took another shaky breath and nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, I will.”

Remus nodded back, and for now wrapped his arms around Roman again. It was in fact cold as balls outside, but Remus didn’t want to go back in and risk waking everyone up, so for now they held each other close and shivered and shook at the same time.

…

Janus woke up a day and a half after his surgery ended. They all headed down to the hospital together again, and were sent up to Janus’ room. Remus had no idea what to expect at this point.

Patton and Virgil stayed nearby, but Remus walked into Janus’ room with a hand on Roman’s arm, mostly because Roman was shaking too much to walk without him.

Janus… well, he’d looked better.

His left arm and leg were both in casts, and his face on that side was horribly bruised and swollen. His right side had cuts and injuries that were obviously going to scar, and even though his face was partially obscured from the way he was leaning back and looking up at the ceiling, Remus could tell it was scrunched up in pain.

He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on Roman’s arm, despite himself.

Roman reached out and squeezed his hand before quietly calling, “Janus?”

Janus jerked upright at the noise, then winced in a way that looked painful.

“Roman,” he said anyway, and then he glanced over, and his face dropped. “Remus?”

Remus jerked his arm away from Roman and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. “Idiot,” he grumbled. Patton walked up and gave Remus a side hug, and Virgil put a hand on his shoulder from the other side.

Roman walked over to the bed and took Janus’ hand, at least the one that wasn’t wrapped in a cast. Neither of them said anything for a long moment, and then Roman whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

Remus got the feeling he was talking about more than just the car crash.

His theory was confirmed a second later when Janus nodded weakly and quietly said, “Me too.”

Remus turned and dropped his head on Patton’s shoulder, who wrapped an arm around him from behind. He wasn’t sure if he should give them privacy to talk because clearly they needed to, or stay here and monitor based on their terrible terrible track record.

Before he could make a decision, however, Janus called out his name.

Remus looked up at him, not even bothering to hide the exhaustion. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Janus said. “For whatever that’s worth to you, with how insufficient it is.”

Remus bit his lip, and, just like with Roman, said “Prove it.”

Janus nodded. “Alright,” he said, though he sounded exhausted at the prospect. Remus didn’t much care.

“And also,” Remus said, pulling away from Patton and walking towards Janus, who looked very startled at the motion. “If you fucking ever scare me like that again, I swear to god, I’ll steal all of your favorite bowler hats and smother them in glitter glue.”

Remus half expected Janus to laugh, or roll his eyes, or threaten Remus back. Instead, he looked away and pulled in a shaky breath.

“I don’t really want to do this again either, Remus,” he said, and his voice cracked on the last word.

Remus sniffed and leaned in, wrapping his arms around Janus as gently as he could. “I hate you so much,” he managed.

Janus didn’t say anything, just leaned heavily into Remus and started to cry.

Roman joined in on the hug from the other side, and then all three of them were sitting there together, and it had been so long since Remus hadn’t felt exhausted by the both of them being in the same space as him, but as they all sat there and cried a small piece of his broken chest started to put itself back together.

And even after all of their tears dried, none of them moved for a minute, and then another piece of his chest did the same thing.

“What,” Janus said weakly after a second. “What happened to the person we hit?”

“She’s fine,” Remus said, glad he’d thought this far ahead. “Not nearly as badly hurt. Just has a stiff neck and a broken arm.”

Janus nodded, though dread seemed to grow on his face at the news. “There is no way in hell I can afford the bills for all of this. I’m going to be in debt for the rest of my life.”

“Don’t worry about that,” came Virgil’s sudden voice from over by the door. All three of them glanced over towards him to find him looking up from where he and Patton had been respectfully looking down at his phone. “Patton’s parents know how to work the system. They helped me get my top surgery bill down to almost zero. And that wasn’t even life threatening. You’ll be fine. Can’t say your car insurance bill won’t go through the roof, but you don’t have to worry about medical stuff.”

Janus shook his head, looking slightly confused. “Patton’s parents?”

“Hi,” Patton said with a wave of his fingers. “I’m Patton. And I imagine you know Virgil from all the times you yelled at Roman for spending time with him! We’re Remus’ friends now, and now you’re both stuck with us for his sake. We’re gonna help make this as painless as possible for you and Roman both.” He smiled just a little too wide. “For him.”

Janus swallowed. “Understood,” he said weakly.

“I’m so glad you do,” Patton said. He turned to Remus with a much warmer smile. “Virgil and I are gonna go get some food to give you all some time to talk, okay? What would you like?”

“Anything greasy delicious and terrible for me,” Remus said.

Patton gave him a nod. “You’ve got it,” he said.

“See you in a bit,” Virgil called with a mini salute.

As soon as they shut the door after them, Janus gave a harsh sigh. Remus turned to watch him lean back against his pillows with a slow, pained breath.

“Are you okay?” Roman asked.

“Well,” Janus said. “No. Not really. Everything hurts. So much.”

Roman winced. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“What? Why?” Janus asked, giving him a baffled look. “That’s not your fault.”

“But— if you hadn’t swerved the car then—”

“Then you would be badly hurt,” Janus said, narrowing his eyes. “Moron.”

Remus turned and gave Roman his best ‘Told you so’ look. Roman swatted him away.

Then after a minute, he bit his lip and turned back to Janus. “Hey Janus?”

“Yes?”

“I’m breaking up with you.”

Janus closed his eyes in obvious relief. “Okay,” he said weakly.

Remus didn’t say anything, just looked down and breathed his own relief, as quietly as he could manage.

The next couple months were going to suck. But one thing Remus could say today that he hadn’t been able to say yesterday, was that there was at least something of a light at the end of the tunnel.

…

Janus’ recovery did suck. Patton’s parents had managed to cut the hospital bill down to almost nothing, which Remus paid off while Janus was recovering and Janus was going to pay back later. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Roman was fully recovered in a couple weeks, but Janus was in pain for months. He was exhausted and hurting and miserable, and it was hard for Remus to watch.

But he helped, because he had promised Roman he wouldn’t leave the two of them alone, and because he had still missed them like an amputated limb. And now they were acknowledging his presence again, which made that ache start to go away.

They were managing to prove it this time, to the point that even Patton and Virgil had to acknowledge they seemed to have learned their lesson, finally. Neither of them liked Janus or Roman very much still, but they let them hang around, and that seemed good enough for Janus and Roman.

Things weren’t back to how they were, and Remus wasn’t quite sure if they ever would be, honestly. Janus and Roman had a tendency to walk on eggshells around each other now. Both of them checked in on Remus a bit too much, and Remus was going to have to have a talk with them about it eventually. Their attempts to build something new out of what had been broken were clumsy and awkward.

But they were trying. And Remus felt fairly sure they’d get there eventually. And besides, if they went back, they wouldn’t have Patton and Virgil, or Patton’s parents who were an amazing substitute for Remus’ own and seemed almost enthusiastic to take up the job.

So, no, things weren’t going to go back to normal. But while things had been lost, lessons had been learned, and things had been gained too.

And Remus was looking forward to whatever it was that came next.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #toxic roceit #platonic dukeceit #creativitwins #platonic intruality #platonic dukexiety #tw toxic relationship #tw car accident #tw injury #human au #my fic

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