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beanie-beebo · 3 years

Text

Call for Action

Series Summary: You finally get your dream job, but it comes with a cost.

Warnings: Description of panic attack

Masterlist

Chapter 4

Over the next few days at work, Jared tailed you and Jensen like a schoolgirl. Asking you both for details of the date and how things were moving for the both of you. Not that you minded of course, at least at first. After a while though, it was a little annoying.

When he approached you on the fourth day in between sets, you couldn't hold back your annoyance.

"I just can't seem to get rid of you, can I?" You asked.

"Nope! As long as you're with Jensen, you're stuck with me." Jared said with a knowing smile.

"Awesome." You said, causing Jared to burst out laughing.

"Thought I heard your annoying voice over here." Jensen teased. "What's up guys?"

"Do you even have to ask that one?" You asked.

"You're right, I probably don't." Jensen said. "So, are we all game for hanging out in my trailer later on?"

"What for?" You asked.

"Just to hang and watch the show. Sometimes Jared and I will surprise the fans and livetweet, it's kinda fun!" Jensen said.

"Uh yeah sure." You said.

"Definitely count me in!" Jared said, elbowing Jensen.

"Dude shut up already!" Jensen said.

The exchange caused you to giggle; it wasn't hard to tell that the two of them had been close for a while. They reminded you of one of your few friends back home, Sue. She would always tease you every chance you got, and you loved her dearly. You occasionally talked with her now and again, but had grown more distant due to your deteriorating mental state. You wondered if you should try calling her up this week, just to shoot the breeze.

---------

Around 10 o'clock that evening before your late night shoot, you had made your way to Jensen's trailer. You took in the cool night air with a deep breath, feeling small jitters all over again. Somehow, you were more nervous to hang out with both guys alone, than you were with just Jensen. It could have been the fact that Jared's essence was slightly intimidating, despite how outgoing he was.

Despite how he was acting around you and Jensen, you were growing to like having him around. Even though at times he intimidated you, he was mostly like a giant moose. He was always flopping his giant legs everywhere, and he tended to be the life of the party. You guessed his nickname on the show had something to do with that, although you had no idea.

You knocked on Jensen's trailer door and waited until he opened it up. He smiled and let you right in, the light pouring in from inside. The TV filled a moderate hum throughout the decently sized space; Jared was sitting on the long L-shaped couch on his phone. He looked up when he saw you walk in and grinned genuinely.

"'Bout time you showed up!" He said.

"Sorry, had to wrap up the last scene. It's not like I have a job or anything." You said with a light smile.

Jared stuck out his tongue at you and glanced back at Jensen, who was making his way to sit on the couch.

"He really likes you, you know." He whispered.

"Oh wow Jared, I couldn't tell." You responded snarkily.

You paused for a moment and reflected on what he said. You figured he liked you, or he wouldn't have asked you on a date. But Jensen liked you, maybe even more than you knew.

"Alright fellers, let's settle down and watch some Supernatural. Huh?" Jensen asked, rubbing his hands together.

You smiled at his dorky Southern drawl and nodded, still awkwardly standing by the couch. You were unsure if you were allowed to sit on the couch, seeing it was all white and definitely not cheap.

"Here, sit." Jensen said, ushering a hand to the couch.

You quietly followed his request, sitting right next to Jared. Jensen sat down next to you, sandwiching you in between them. It made you feel pressured and slightly awkward for some reason, so you took a deep breath. You were instantly hit with both of their colognes, which was oddly comforting. Just as you were thinking of another distraction, the program began.

"You know, I don't even think I was working here yet when this episode was being made." You commented.

"Makes sense. Usually post production takes a few months." Jared said, sipping lightly on his alcoholic drink.

Even though you had practically watched at least an episode unfold already, it was all together different watching it on screen. It made you realize how truly special your job was.

Throughout the episode you watched as the two of them live tweeted certain scenes, teasing each other and poking fun at the episode in general. You followed along with both what was on the TV and your phone in amusement. It was like a live commentary, only better. The fans are what made it even more fun with their own comments. There was so much freaking out and animosity between everyone. There were even a few times when you commented with your personal twitter, just to add to the chaos.

No one knew you yet, but it was just how you had wanted it to be. Sitting in between two friends and watching everything unfold from the comfort of your own little bubble.

By the time the episode had ended, you had begun to grow tired from sitting for too long. You let out a quiet yawn and leaned further into the couch, letting it swaddle you.

Jensen looked over at you upon hearing you yawn.

"You look beat, want to take a nap?" He asked.

You looked at him like he had grown a second head. "Jensen, we have to work in a few hours."

"Doesn't mean you can't catch some shut eye before then." He said with a shrug.

You hummed. "Good point. I'll go back to my car then, so you two can finish doing what you have to."

Just as you made a move to get up Jensen caught your arm, sending tingles up to your shoulders.

"No, stay. More time to sleep instead of walking back and forth, right?" Jensen said, smiling sheepishly.

Jared looked between the two of you and made a scene of getting up from his position on the couch.

"I'll take this as my cue to leave." He said, groaning as he got up. "Have fun you two."

"Shut up." Both you and Jensen chimed.

On his way out from the front hallway, you heard Jared cackle causing you to roll your eyes playfully. You looked over to Jensen and instantly began to blush upon realizing the two of you were finally alone together. Jensen had apparently caught on as the blood rushed to the tips of his ears.

"Your choice, do you want to lay here or in my bed?" Jensen asked.

Your stomach flipped at the thought of being in his room. With a surge of confidence, you decided to take the second option. You had needed some quality rest, after all.

Jensen led you to the trailer's decently sized bedroom before heading briefly to the bathroom to change. While he was in there, you sat down on the bed and took a glance around the room.

The bedroom was mostly bare except for a few pictures staggered on the nightstand. They seemed to be of his family, all with smiling faces. You smiled; a family man, how perfect.

Not even a few moments later, Jensen emerged from the bathroom clad in pajamas. You couldn't help your lingering eyes from the bulge in his boxers; you gulped hungrily. Jensen noticed your reaction and smirked.

"Like what you see sweetheart?" He teased.

"Um." You paused, trying to recollect your thoughts. "Sorry, just tired. Guess it's time to hit the hay."

Jensen chuckled. "Sure..”

He pulled up the comforter and got underneath beside you. You blushed and looked away for a second, not used to the close contact.

“This is okay, right?” Jensen asked, not fully settling himself in just yet.

“Oh, uh.. Yeah. We’re dating, right? So.. yeah.” You stumbled.

He smiled and pecked your cheek, taking you by surprise.

“See you in a few hours, sweetheart.” He said before turning away from you.

You knew it was too soon, but you had just realized how much you had craved human contact. You just wanted to be in his arms, held until you fell asleep. But you had just met, and you didn’t want to scare him off by being too needy. You resisted the urge to ask him for the favor and turned away from him; it wasn’t long before you succumbed to a well needed rest.

-------

Your eyes slowly opened to unfamiliar surroundings, causing you to stiffen in fear. You had no idea where you were or how you had got there, and your inner system was slowly boiling into panic. You were just about to get out of whose bed you were in before you turned your head to a familiar face, Jensen. Everything slowly came back and you exhaled. Thankfully, Jensen had slept through your mini freakout and remained undisturbed. While he slept, you took a moment to observe his features.

For once Jensen had looked relaxed, cute even. His few wrinkles were smoothed out, especially around his eyes. His freckles and dark circles were more prominent since he had removed his makeup. If you had the time, you would count and kiss every one of them.

Speaking of time.. You turned over and flipped your phone rightside up, almost gasping when you saw it was close to when you had to be called onto location. Without too much consideration, you nudged Jensen probably a little too roughly until he began to wake up. He deeply inhaled and rubbed at his likely crusty eyes.

“Ugh, what time is it?” He asked, combing through his hair absently.

“Time to get up and head to set, that’s what time it is.” You said, smiling at Jensen’s adorable ‘I just woke up’ face. “Sorry I had to wake you.”

You barely held back a chuckle and made your way over to the standing mirror in his room. After fixing a few strands of hair and deciding you looked good enough, you turned around to Jensen looking at you dopily.

“What? You just gonna sit there or are you gonna get ready?” You asked, smiling widely.

“You’re beautiful.” Jensen said breathily.

“Huh?”

“I said,” Jensen paused and made his way over to you. “You’re beautiful.”

Here the two of you were again, inches apart with a magnetic force seemingly pulling you together. He looked down at your lips, you stared at his. The force was even stronger now, neither of you being able to resist it. Slowly you were closer and closer until your lips softly locked as one.

It had been a while since you had kissed anyone, so you were playing on unsure grounds. But Jensen held and guided you throughout the whole process. It was like learning to walk again, only more exciting and rewarding. He was gentle; a whisper in your ear. Your insides lit up like the fourth of july; you had missed feeling so alive.

After a few moments he broke the kiss and gazed into your (y/ec) eyes, not once looking away. Staring into his eyes, all you could see was love. You smiled warmly and pecked his lips before grabbing your phone off the nightstand.

“As much as I would love to continue more of.. this, we are needed on set in about twenty minutes.” You said, collecting your things.

Jensen seemed completely dumbstruck for a moment before visibly shaking it off. “Good point. Later?”

“Definitely.”

#Jensen Ackles #jensen x reader #Jared Padalecki #call for action #call for action series

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luke-patterson-owns-my-soul · 3 years

Text

Daddy, Splash.

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Title: Daddy, Splash.

Words: 1,374 (sorry it’s a short one)

Summary: Family time with the Gillespies

Requested: by @xplrreylo – fluffy Charlie as a dad. NO angst. TW: None, but you may need to floss after Author’s notes: Just cute, fluffy, family time. I hope you like it.

I mean, the amp ‘kinda’ looks like a box... (I know it doesn’t, but it was the best I could do.)

Unlocking the front door, trying to juggle the sleeping two year old in your arms. It had been a long day visiting your sister while Charlie dealt with the movers and unpacked your stuff in the new house. Moving with an energetic toddler hadn’t been your best idea, but they’d had no choice. Their old place had been too small, damp, and just horrid. Luckily, you’d been able to take your son away from havoc where he could play with his cousins.

“Hey babe,” Charlie speaks softly, taking the sleeping boy from your arms and laying him on the couch. It’s still early, so you both know the nap won’t last long. Once he’s sure your son won’t roll off, he turns and gathers you in his arms, placing a soft kiss against your lips.

“Hi. Did you get much done?” you ask, looking around the room. You can see the small amount of progress he’s made and wonder how long you’ll all be living out of boxes for.

“Little Man’s bedroom is all finished. The kitchen’s almost done, and our room is a disaster zone.”

“I’ll finish in the kitchen. This room is all yours.” Grinning, you kiss him again before untangling yourself from his strong arms and moving through the space and into the kitchen. Connecting your phone to the speaker Charlie had already unpacked, you turn some music on low and busy yourself finishing getting the room ready.

____________________________♥♥♥_________________________________

By the time you’re finished unpacking and making sure everything is in it’s rightful place, it’s getting dark outside and the rest of the house is quiet when you turn your music off. Not in the mood, you’re grateful to your sister having unloaded a bunch of leftovers on you. You pull tubs out of the refrigerator and set about heating them up.

Wondering why, when you have a two year old, your house is almost silent, you leave the kitchen and wander back into the lounge. The room is now clear of boxes, but it’s still not finished, and the two most important men in your life are nowhere to be seen.

Confusion flows through you as you walk around the house, unable to find them. As you leave the playroom adjoined to the lounge that is already overflowing with toys, you hear a soft giggle from upstairs. With a smile on your face, you climb over the stairgate and make your way upstairs. Following the sound of your son giggling, you reach the doorway of his bedroom. As you lean up against the doorframe, you watch as your boys lay on the floor playing with the new cars that were a birthday present from your parents.

“Vroom vroom, daddy.” The boy that looks so much like his father, but with your eyes, looks up at Charlie, a look of complete adoration on his face. Your heart clenches as two dark haired heads lean close to one another as Charlie makes loud car noises as they both lead brightly colored cars around the floor.

Coughing softly, you laugh as they both jump at the sound.

“Sorry to interrupt what looks like some serious playing, but dinner’s ready.”

“Mama!” Your son jumps to his feet and runs at you, full pelt, slamming into your legs.

“Ooft.” With a smile, you swing him up into your arms and smother his face in kisses. “Are you hungry?” he nods, seriously as Charlie approaches the two of you, a wide smile on his handsome face. Once again, you can’t believe how lucky you are. Not only did this guy pick you, out of all the girls he could have, but you’d both been blessed with an amazing little boy who was the center of both your worlds.

“Careful, buddy. You don’t want to hurt mama.” As you placed the boy on the floor at your feet, both you and Charlie took hold of one of his hands and slowly led him down the stairs and into the kitchen. Charlie helped him wash up and settle in his chair while you plated up the food your sister had provided, knowing you wouldn’t want to cook.

_____________________________♥♥♥________________________________

Family nights were a new tradition for your small unit. Your son only just beginning to show interest in anything longer than ten minutes on the large screen Charlie had attached to the wall above the fireplace you loved.

As Finding Nemo played, the three of you snuggled together on the large couch under blankets and soft toys that also ‘need to watch movie mama’. As you lean on Charlie’s chest, his arm wrapped around your waist as your son sits on the floor in front of you, his attention transfixed on the bright colors on the screen you feel your eyes getting heavy as Nemo and his dad are reunited. Charlie must realize too as he whispers in your ear for you to head to bed.

“I’ll sort him out for bed when the movie’s over.” He places a kiss on your forehead as you get to your feet.

“You’re too good to me.” You tell him, smiling.

“It easy when I love you so much.” Another kiss and you’re soon climbing the stairs, your body heavy. Once you reach your bedroom, the only clear space is the bed. You strip off your clothes and pull on some pajamas. Crawling into bed, you sigh in content and drop off to sleep.

Banging and giggling wake you an hour later. Feeling very wide awake, you climb out of bed and leave your room, making a mental note to start clearing it in the morning. Trying to remain as quiet as you can, you leave the room, tiptoe along the hallway, and peek around the door into the bathroom.

Charlie is kneeling on the floor as your son plays with what looks like an entire toy store’s worth of bath toys. He’s smiling widely – his dad’s smile – and splashing around as Charlie watches him, making sure he’s safe.

“Daddy. Splash daddy.” What almost looks like a tidal wave rises up the side of the bath and onto Charlie’s head. Stifling your laughter, You watch as Charlie shakes out his long hair, making the child in front of him laugh even more, before flicking water at him in retaliation.

“You little monkey. This is daddy’s favorite shirt.”

“Daddy splash again.” Before he was able to do it, Charlie had scooped him out of the bath and wrapped him in a huge fluffy towel.

“Nope, not this time, buddy.” As he wrapped the mini version of himself in his arms, he placed a kiss against his wet hair and mumbled his love for the two year old as he caught your eye. “Splash mama?” He asked, bending to flick water across the bathroom at you.

“No dad, no. Mama no splash. Daddy splash.”

“Oh, I see how it is. Favoritism.” He grinned over at you as the wriggling boy in his arms struggled to get to you. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I was, but a couple of monkeys woke me up with their giggling.” You gathered your son into your arms, giving him a tight hug.

“Sorry, babe.” Charlie wraps his arms around the both of you, placing kisses on both your heads.”

“It’s okay. I got to see my two best boys playing. It’s my favorite thing in the world.” As a unit, the three of you move into the bedroom Charlie spent most of the day making perfect for the child growing sleepy in your arms. As you get him dry and ready for bed, Charlie disappears down to the kitchen to get him a small drink of warm milk. By the time he gets back, the little boy is in bed, with the covers pulled up to his chin.

“You go back to bed, I’ll finish up here.” Charlie murmurs as he wraps his arms around you. Nodding, you place a kiss on his cheek and leave the room after saying goodnight to your son.

“Daddy, story?”

“Sure Buddy.”

Crouching on the floor out of sight, you listen as Charlie reads a bedtime story, your heart full of love for the two best people in your life.

Tagging:

@dream-a-little-bigger-x @calamitykaty @crybabyddl @morganayennefertyrell @lovesanimals @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve @echocharm17618 @kcd15

If you want to be on my tag list, just drop me a message :D

#Charlie Gillespie fic #Charlie Gillespie Imagine #real person fic #fic request #Mich writes fic

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calpalirwin · 3 years

Text

Painted Pink Room

A/N: @talkfastromance4 mentioned that a part 2 to this would be cool and I had some ideas for it, so here we are.

Word Count: 2.3k

And away, and away we go!

It took a month for McKenna to finally sleep through the night in her own room, not that Calum and Luke minded in the slightest. Nap time was fine, but there was something about sleeping in the dark alone, even with the aid of a nightlight, that sent McKenna scurrying into bed with her dads every night.

So when Calum rolled over one morning and found empty space before his hand smacked into Luke’s arm, he shot awake. “Where’s Mack?!”

Luke mumbled angrily in his sleep. “Shh, Cal, I’m sleeping…”

“And Mack is missing!”

That got Luke’s attention, blue eyes snapping opening. He sat up straight, throwing back the covers. “What do you mean she’s missing?!”

“Do you see her in here?! Did she sleep in her own bed all night?”

“She better have otherwise she might be actually missing…”

Both men jumped out of bed and raced down the hall to McKenna’s room. And found her peacefully sleeping in her bed, Duke and Petunia curled up on the floor next to her. “How is she still asleep?” Luke asked in a whisper.

Calum shrugged, checking the time on his phone before groaning. “Probably cuz it’s five in the fuckin’ morning…”

“You woke me up at five in the morning because Mack was asleep in her own bed?!”

“I panicked, okay?! She’s never spent the whole night in her room before, what was I supposed to think?!”

“Sssshhhhh!” Luke shushed, gesturing for them to leave the room. “You wanna wake her up, or go back to bed? I, for one, vote for going back to bed.”

Calum yawned, agreeing with Luke that more sleep was needed. “Hey, Lu?”

“Yeah?”

“She did it. Whole night in her own room,” he smiled in pride.

“Yeah,” Luke matched Calum’s grin for a second. “But I’m kinda gonna miss her elbow in my ribs.”

“Yeah. Me too…”

And as much as they missed the little body squeezed in next to them, they did enjoy the extra uninterrupted hours of sleep. They also enjoyed McKenna tiptoeing into the room with both dogs at her side to wake them up, asking for breakfast.

~~~

“Alright, little miss, how do we want our hair today?” Calum asked her after Luke helped her get dressed. “Up or down?” He swung her up and sat her down on the bathroom counter, spinning her around so they both faced the mirror.

“Up!”

“Ponytail, braid, or bun?”

“Tail!”

“Great choice!” Calum grinned before setting to work, taking in pride at how well he’d learn to do her hair over the past handful of weeks. “Did Daddy tell you what we’re doing today?”

“‘Ool?” she asked, cocking her head to the side and turning a little.

“Gotta sit still for me, darling.” He gently set her straight again. “But, yeah, you’re right. We’re gonna go swimming today. Do you know why?”

She thought about it for a second, her little face scrunching in the mirror.

“You know you scrunch your face just like Daddy when you’re thinking,” Calum noted.

“Like Daddy?” she asked, scrunching her face more.

“Just like him.”

“Eyes like Papa!”

“Yep, eyes just like mine,” Calum smiled at her. “Can you remember why Daddy said we’re swimming today?”

“No.”

“It’s because we’re meeting some friends today!”

“Fwends?!”

“Yeah! Uncle Ashton and Uncle Mikey are gonna come over, so you can meet them and your cousin Wyatt.”

“Wots of fwends!”

“A little bit, yeah. But they’re excited to meet you.”

“Me?!”

“Yes, you! So, what do you say? Wanna go swimming with your new friends today?”

“Yes!”

“That’s my girl! C’mon, let’s go find Daddy.”

~~~

There was a small downside to having told McKenna that friends would be coming over to swim. It was the fact that she had very little concept of how time worked. So any sound of a car driving past was met with an excited gasp of “Fwends?!” and Calum and Luke having to shake their heads and go, “No, Mack. It’s not time yet. We have to have lunch and a nap first.” A cycle of conversation that repeated on an endless loop even after lunch had been eaten and the nap had been taken.

“Seriously, where the fuck are they?” Luke asked in a low, aggravated tone.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Calum replied in a similar tone, huffing and pulling out his phone. Then he sighed in relief, flashing the message at Luke. “On their way. 5 minutes ago.”

“Which means they should pulling up any-”

“Fwends?!” McKenna interrupted as a car turned into the drive.

“That better fuckin’ be them,” Luke grumbled, marching for the door and pulling it open. “Hey, ya made it!” he hollered.

Ashton laughed as he slung a bag over his shoulder. “Sorry mate. Someone took forever to go down for a nap.”

“S’alright. Still got most of the afternoon. How long can these two swim for anyhow?” Calum pointed out, stepping onto the porch next to Luke with McKenna at his side. “Look, Mack, our friends are here! You wanna say hi?”

McKenna peered around Calum’s leg over at Ashton and Michael, her eyes wide. “Big wike you…” she whispered.

Calum laughed. “Yeah, Uncle Ashton and Uncle Mikey are big like me and Daddy. But look! Wyatt’s little like you.”

“Hey, McKenna,” Michael said, crouching down in front of her. “I’m Mike, and this is Wyatt. Wyatt, do you wanna say hi to McKenna?”

“Hi,” the little boy said, before glancing up at Michael, and whispering “Swimming now, Daddy?”

“You don’t wanna say hi to your uncles first?” Michael whispered back.

“Oh…” Wyatt turned his attention to Calum and Luke. “Hi.”

“Hey, bud,” Luke chuckled. “Mack, they said hi. Do you want to say hi back?”

“Hi…” she offered up shyly.

“How ‘bout we hit the pool, yeah?” Ashton asked, trying to steamroll through the shy hellos.

“Great idea!” Luke agreed. “C’mon, Mack, let’s go get your swimsuit on.”

“Otay!”

From there, conversation flowed much more fluidly as the four men leaned against the pool walls, chatting about work ideas while McKenna and Wyatt splashed about on the steps, engaging in their own imaginary play and toddler babble. “So how are you guys adjusting and everything?” Ashton asked once they’d worn down work ideas.

“Fine I guess,” Luke said with a shrug.

“Yeah. She actually slept the whole night in her own bed last night,” Calum added.

“Shit, that’s a huge step. Have you reached the tantrum stage yet?” Michael asked.

Calum and Luke looked at each other and shook their heads. “No,” answered Calum. “She gets whiny and pouts about things sometimes. But no major meltdowns so far.”

“But don’t jinx us,” Luke added with a laugh.

Just then there was a particularly loud splash and all of them turned as Wyatt came up sputtering, before letting out a scared wail. “Whoa!” Ashton rushed, stepping over and helping Wyatt back up on the step. “Deep breath. You’re okay. What happened? Did you slip?”

“She! Pushed! Me!” he continued to cry, pointing at McKenna who scowled at him.

Calum grabbed McKenna, pulling her away from Wyatt before setting her on the ledge in front of him. “Did you push Wyatt?”

She nodded.

Calum sighed. “Why?”

“He mean.”

“He was mean to you?”

“Uh-huh.” And to demonstrate, she dipped her hand in the water and splashed Calum in the face.

“Hey!” Calum said sternly, grabbing her hand. “We don’t splash people in the face. That’s not nice.”

“He did!”

“Oh…” Calum said in understanding. “He splashed you in the face so you pushed him?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay, but we don’t push people, darling. That’s not nice either. If you have a problem, you come get me or Daddy, okay?”

“Otay…”

“Okay. So what do we say when we’re mean to someone and hurt them?”

“Sowwy…”

“Don’t say sorry to me. Say sorry to Wyatt.”

“Sowwy ‘Ayatt…”

“It’s otay,” he sniffed.

Ashton and Calum set both kids back to play before making their way back over to Michael and Luke. “So what happened?”

“I think Wyatt accidentally splashed her in the face and she got pissed, so she shoved him,” Calum recapped.

“So we’re raising a vigilante? Cool,” Luke laughed. “Good to know.”

“Shut up, it’s not funny,” Calum scolded.

“Eh,” Michael shrugged. “In all fairness there’s a 50/50 shot that Wyatt splashed her on purpose.”

“That’s true,” Ashton nodded. “Tried to break the habit about a billion times, but hey, maybe he just needed to get shoved to make the lesson stick ya know? They’re kids. No one got hurt. That’s what matt- Wyatt James, don’t splash her.”

Wyatt’s hands were poised in the water, ready to splash at McKenna again. He giggled, not thinking Ashton was serious and gave McKenna a face full of water. On instinct, she shoved him off the step again.

“Dude, what did I just tell you?” Ashton groaned as he went over to get Wyatt.

“Alright, we’re done,” Calum said, following Ashton to collect McKenna. “That’s enough swimming for the day.”

“Good call,” Ashton nodded.

“Papa, no!” the toddlers shrieked as they got taken out of the water.

“Yeah, I bet you’ll listen next time then, huh?” Ashton asked.

“Papa!” Wyatt continued to sob as Ashton wrapped him in a towel and sat with him in a chair. “I… wanna… swim!”

“Me too!” McKenna hiccuped.

“Maybe later. Right now we’re taking a break,” Calum told them both.

“Daddy!” McKenna cried.

“Oh, you’re mad at me so you want Daddy? Alright, see how far you get,” Calum chuckled, as Luke and Michael made their way over to the rest of the group.

“What’s up, sweetheart?” Luke asked, taking McKenna from Calum.

“Swim, pwease?”

“Nope. We’re all taking a break.”

She let out a loud cry, burying her head into Luke, who reached over to shove Michael. “I told you not to jinx us, ya cunt.”

Michael laughed, “Wait til she has a tantrum over something completely ridiculous.”

The men continued to talk, while whispering small assurances to the toddlers that “It’s alright. You’re fine,” until the hiccuped sobs turned to soft sniffles.

“You understand why Papa had you take a break?” Michael spoke softly to Wyatt. “We don’t splash people in the face.”

“Accident…”

“The first time, maybe it was. But the second time we all watched you. Papa even told you not to, and you did it anyway. That’s why McKenna pushed you, and that’s why we all had to take a break.”

“Oh… Sowwy…”

“Not to me. To McKenna for splashing her, and to Papa for not listening.”

“Sowwy Papa.”

“Thank you, bud,” Ashton smiled at his son. “I love you.”

“Wuv you. Sowwy, ‘Kenna.”

“It otay.”

“What else do you say, sweetheart?” Luke guided. “Papa already warned you about pushing people the first time, that’s why you had to take a break.”

“Sowwy ‘Ayatt.”

“It’s otay.”

“Daddy?” McKenna asked, tracing her fingers over Luke’s painted nails.

“What’s up, sweetheart?”

“Dis pwetty.”

Luke waggled his fingers. “They are pretty, huh?”

“Mhm. Mine wike dat?”

“Yeah, we can get your nails painted.”

“Me too?” Wyatt asked, perking up.

“If you want, bud, sure,” Michael nodded, before directing his attention to Calum and Luke, “You guys got nail polish? We can do it now.”

“Yeah, we got a whole bunch,” Calum answered. “I’ll go get the stuff. Lu, you wanna get her changed out of her swimsuit?”

“On it.”

Fifteen minutes later found the group hunkered down in the living room, nail polish bottles scattered on the coffee table while little fingernails were swiped with pretty colors. “Tada!” Luke cheered as he capped a bottle of bright red polish. “Look, your nails are just like mine, now.”

“Papa too!”

“Oh, I dunno. Does Papa wanna match with us?” Luke asked Calum, waving the bottle back and forth.

Calum looked at his nails, and shrugged. “Eh, fuck it. Go ahead.”

“You want the red, or do you want your usual black?”

“Red’s fine.”

“Alright, Mack, you wanna help me paint Papa’s fingers?”

“Yeah!”

“Careful not to smudge hers,” Calum warned lightly as he settled back, giving Luke one of his hands.

Carefully, Luke held his own fingers over McKenna’s on the brush to guide her as she painted Calum’s nails for him.

On the other side of the coffee table, Ashton was blowing on Wyatt’s fingers to help the glittery purple nail polish dry. “You know, Daddy used to have hair kinda like this.”

Wyatt looked over at Michael and laughed. “Daddy hair purple!”

“My hair was lilac, not purple,” Michael corrected as he swiped black nail polish across his own nails.

“Not the lilac. The…” Ashton snapped his fingers as he thought. “Fuck what was it? It was like purple, blue, and black all at once.”

“Galaxy. Yeah, that one was fun.”

“Probably my favorite hair color of yours honestly,” Calum told him.

“Yeah, you ever gonna dye your hair again, Mike?” Luke asked.

“Maybe when you finally decide to dye yours.”

“I did dye my hair!”

“You’re blonde, and you dyed your hair more blonde. Doesn’t count.”

“How does that not count?!”

“Cuz you gotta dye it another color.”

“It was another color!”

“No, it was a different shade. Not the same thing.”

Luke made sputtering sounds of disbelief. “Cal! C’mon, tell Mike it’s the same thing.”

Calum snorted. “I’m with Mike on this one. Dying your hair a different shade, isn’t the same as dying it a different color.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Not if that side’s wrong, I’m not.”

“You’re an ass for 1. And for 2, your nails are done.”

“Very pwetty,” McKenna beamed, proud of her handiwork.

“Thank you very much, darling,” Calum said, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Now we all match. Me, you, and Daddy.”

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996 @creator-appreciator @philthepegacorn @myfavfanficsever @cxddlyash @youngblood199456 @stormrider505 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @hoodhoran @metalandboybands @maybeememez @major5sosstan @1weekago @kaitieskidmore1

#painted pink room #calum hood #calum hood fic #luke hemmings #luke hemmings fic #calum hood x luke hemmings #dad!cake #dad!sos #5sos #calpal irwin

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oikawaplssteponme · 4 years

Text

𝑨𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒀𝒐𝒖: part 6

“It’s always been you. Has it always been me?”

✨part 1

✨part 2

✨part 3

✨part 4

✨part 5

pairing: Tobio Kageyama x Fem!reader

rating/warnings: a few swear words but that’s it :)

synopsis: You liked him. He liked you. Easy right? Well, maybe not as easy as you thought.

a/n: hiii💓 thanks again for all the love on this fic, it means so much!! this is chapters 11&12 and i really like these so i hope you all do too! i wanted to give you guys some fluff before things take a turn ;) as always, the taglist is open and so is my inbox :)) enjoy xx

•

Eleven: Promise

You took Kageyama’s hand and walked until you reached the boba place. Kageyama ordered a black milk tea and you got a strawberry milk tea.

You sipped on your drinks upon reaching your house. As you grabbed your keys to open the door, Kageyama sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly. You looked at him, confused.

“Sorry for what?” Kageyama looked down at the ground.

“I’m sorry we lost,” he mumbled. You let out a sigh. You stepped towards him, gently lifting his head to look at you.

“Kags, I’m not upset that you lost. I know that you tried your best. I’m so proud of you no matter what, okay? You did good,” you reassured him. He looked like a sad little puppy. He didn't say anything, he just pulled you to a hug. You held him tightly, rubbing your hand up and down his back.

“Let’s go inside, okay?” you said breaking away from the hug. Kageyama nodded and followed you inside.

Kageyama was exhausted. You came to realize that if he lost a game he would cancel it out with a nap. He sat on your bed and you laid in between his legs, your back resting against his chest. You laid there for sometime, just enjoying each other's company. You could hear Kageyama’s breath, rising and falling slowly. The television was on quietly but neither of you paid attention to it.

“Kags?” You whispered.

No response. You turned to see Kageyama, asleep. You chuckled to yourself and got up from the bed. You dimmed the lights in your room so it wouldn’t be so bright for him. You grabbed him a blanket and laid it over him. He shifted to his side once the blanket fell into place. You couldn’t help but admire him. He looked silly as he slept, trying to find a comfortable position. You turned off the TV and sat on the other side of your bed to give him as much space as he wanted. You could hear his faint snoring, it was adorable. You tried not to make any noise that could wake him but you couldn’t help but giggle at your boyfriend. He was all wrapped up in the blanket like a little dumpling. You decided to throw away the empty cups of boba. So you got up from the bed again and went to throw them away downstairs. When you got back, Kageyama was awake, sitting up on your bed, still wrapped up in the blanket.

“I thought you were sleeping silly,” you smiled.

“I was but then you left,” he pouted. Your heart swelled up.

“I was only gone for a few seconds,” you explained. Kageyama yawned.

“A few seconds too many,” he whispered. You smiled.

“Well I'm back now, don't worry.” Kageyama looked at you with puppy dog eyes.

“Lay with me?” he asked. You felt your face get warm. You nodded.

You made your way over to Kageyama. He lifted up the blanket to cover the both of you. You nestled yourself next to him. He wrapped his arm across you to pull you closer to him. Your back was against his chest, his breath traveling down your spine. Kageyama’s other arm rested under your head. He held you tightly. You seemed to fit perfectly next to him, like a missing puzzle piece. You wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.

“Kags?”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me it’s always just gonna be me and you,” you blurted out. You didn’t realize you actually said it until the words let your mouth. A promise like that held a lot of weight and you knew that. Still, you wanted an answer anyway. Kageyama kissed the back of your head.

“I promise.”

•

Twelve: dance with me

*BUZZ*

You slowly started to wake up when you heard a phone buzz. You had fallen asleep for god only knows how long. You found your head resting on Kageyama’s chest when you woke up. His arm still wrapped around you. He was still asleep. You sat up and started to search around for the phone. No surprise that it was Kageyama’s phone.

“Kags?” you said. You gently pushed his shoulder to hopefully get him to wake up. He was a deep sleeper.

“Babe your phone is ringing.” You clapped your hand over your mouth once you realized what you had said. You hoped he didn't hear you. Kageyama grumbled.

“Just ignore it,” he said, pulling you back towards him. He was still half asleep and his voice sounded raspy.

“It's two texts. You should probably check them,” you explained, handing him the phone. Kageyama sighed and sat up, taking the phone. His hair was all messy and he looked as if he could have kept sleeping for another hour.

“Oh shit, it's almost midnight,” said Kageyama.

“No way?” You checked your clock and it read 11:47pm. You two must have slept longer than you initially thought.

“My parents just wanted to know where I am. I’ll tell them I’m gonna spend the night at Hinita’s,” explained Kageyama. You looked at him with wide eyes.

“You want to spend the night?” you asked.

“I mean I’m already here and it's so late that I probably wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anyway. Is that okay with you?” You nodded frantically. Kageyama laughed. He got up and turned the lights up in your room back on.

“Mind if I take a bath?” Kageyama asked. You shook your head.

“Nope not at all,” you said. Kageyama smiled and grabbed his volleyball bag and headed towards your bathroom. Once he left, a wave of panic came over you.

Okay uh Kageyama staying over at my house. Alone. With me. My parents are again away on business so that solves that. Oh my god what the hell do I do? Calm down Y/N, he’s stayed with you a million times. For goodness sake you just slept in the same bed as him. Well, not in that way. Oh my god what if he wants to… nope nope can’t think about that. Okay uh so guys usually take less time in the bathroom so that means I have approximately less than ten minutes to figure out what I’m gonna do. Well I mean I should probably change into my pajamas. Well I usually sleep in just a t-shirt so probably not gonna do that. Uh, t-shirt and shorts is a safe bet. Yeah okay.

You rushed over to your closet and picked out an oversized t-shirt and shorts. In all honesty, your ass hung out of the shorts a little but that was the least of your worries right now. After you changed you headed downstairs and searched your kitchen for anything worth eating.

Great so we have nothing to eat and I’m starving and Kageyama is probably also starving. I’m literally the worst host ever. Wait, I think we have popcorn. Wait that's stupid. Well shit there is nothing else so popcorn it is.

You grabbed a packet of popcorn and threw it into your microwave. While it popped, you ran back upstairs to check if Kageyama was out of the bath. You didn’t hear the water running so you assumed so. You then ran back downstairs to grab the popcorn and put it into a bowl. You rushed back to your room and sat on the floor with the popcorn. You leaned against the bottom of your bed, trying to catch your breath. You heard footsteps approaching. Soon entered Kageyama in a pair of sweatpants and no shirt. You could literally feel your pupils grow.

Jeez, did he do push-ups before coming in here?

“I didn’t have a clean shirt in my bag, I hope you don’t mind,” he explained. You pressed your lips together to stop yourself from having the dumbest smile on your face.

He has no right looking like that, I swear.

“Nope don’t mind at all,” you managed to get out. Kageyama smiled and reached out his hand for you to grab.

“Why are you on the floor silly?” he asked. You wondered that too.

“You know what I wish I knew.” You took Kageyama’s hand and he pulled you up. Lifting you up with more strength than he initially thought, you crashed into his chest. Kageyama wrapped his other arm around your back to keep you close.

“Hi,” you said nervously. Kageyama chuckled.

“Hi,” he said back. You looked into his deep eyes. You could get lost in them with just one glance. His hair was still wet. You ran your fingers through it. You were dumbfounded by the idea that he was actually yours.

“Did you call me babe earlier?” He asked. You flinched.

“Uh no, very much I did not,” you said with a burning face. You playfully pushed Kageyama away. “That is gross and cheesy and I would never.”

Kageyama laughed. “Well I thought it was cute.” You tried to hide your smile.

You and Kageyama sat on your bed and talked for some time. You played some music while you two talked. The hours seemed to pass so quickly with him. You listened to him talk about volleyball and terminology that you didn’t understand but you enjoyed listening anyway. He could talk forever about his teammates and you let him. His face lit up when he spoke about the things he was passionate about. You found it adorable. Kageyama was in the middle of a sentence when you became distracted by your favorite song playing on your phone.

“Oh my gosh I love this song,” you sprung up from the bed and stood in front of Kageyama.

“Dance with me,” you held your hand out for him to grab. He gave you a nervous look.

“Y/N I don’t know how to dance,” he protested. You huffed.

“That’s why I’ll show you. Please?” You begged. Kageyama couldn’t say no to you. He’d do anything for you. He grabbed your hand and you let him to the middle of your room.

“Okay so you’re gonna put your hands here and mine go here.” You grabbed his shaky hands to put on your waist then you rested your arms on his shoulders to wrap around his neck. You moved closer to Kageyama.

“Okay now all you really need to do is kinda sway back and forth. Just feel the music,” you explained. Kageyama was hesitant. He took small steps side to side, still keeping you close.

“Y/N I'm not very good at this…” he whispered. You smiled.

“You’re doing perfect. Okay now take my hand and give me a little twirl,” you said. Kageyama did as he was told and took your hand. He spun you slowly but the smile on his face was priceless.

“See that wasn’t so hard? You’re a natural,” you reassured him. His eyes were bright. You continued to sway back and forth. You moved to rest your head against his chest. You could hear his heartbeat in perfect rhythm. At that moment, it seemed to be only you and him in the world. No one else mattered.

“You’re beautiful,” said Kageyama suddenly. You stopped in your tracks. You looked up at him, feeling your face get warm. You ran your fingers through his hair and gave him a smile.

“You’re beautiful,” you said back.

Kageyama pulled you in to kiss him. You stood on his feet to reach him, doing anything in your power to get as close to him as possible. You wrapped your arms around him tightly. This kiss felt different than the ones in the past. This kiss felt like everything was falling perfectly into place. You adored him. And he adored you. He never wanted to let you go. He held you like his life depended on it. The world melted away and it was just you and him.

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @lilnuances @jennasquishy8 @ladybird-00 @moonlightsof @maii-thirsts @tamaguchi @seiijixcia @killuaking ]

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu #haikyuu tobio #hq #tobio fluff #tobio x you #kageyama #Kageyama x reader #always you. 🌸

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nightwingshero · 3 years

Note

1, 15, 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85, 95, 100 for the OC(s) of your choice.

Thank you, love!!!

1. Does your character have good aim?

Wren: She does, actually. She’s excellent at throwing knives and such, which shocks the hell out of her.

Whitney: NOPE. Not even a little bit. She wouldn’t try, she would either embarrass herself and say breaking her nail as the excuse not to.

Blair: Not...really. It got somewhat better with training with Oliver, but...there’s a reason she never played any sports. It’s not really her thing.

Camille: She does now, after training with Clint and Natasha at S.H.I.E.L.D. It took her a bit longer to get it, but she did get there eventually.

Naomi: Yes! She used to play softball when she was in high school, she’s rather athletic. Good luck challenging her to a game of darts. Just saying.

15. Did your character ever want to be a cowboy?

Wren: No, not at all. She wanted to be a rockstar astronaut at first, something her mother thought was hilarious. Wren swore up and down that Rocketman was about her, but uh...she didn’t really get the lyrics at that young of an age.

Whitney: Absolutely not. She was definitely a princess kind of girl. Being a cowboy was never her thing, she would rather be the princess or damsel in distress that gets swept off her feet.

Blair: Not really. She wanted to live on Mars and be an astronaut too. She loves space and always has. Blair grew up to be an astrophysicist though...close enough.

Camille: I could see that, sure. I don’t think it was specifically a cowboy, I think she wanted to be the Lone Ranger, like the show her father watches. She would make her dad pretend to be a bank robber so she could go after him.

Naomi: Nope. Not at all. She was more into cops and robbers or princesses, to be honest. Cowboys just didn’t really hold her attention. The only one that could was Woody from Toy Story.

25. Does your character experience sexism for the job/title they hold? (ie: she’s a girl, she can’t be x,y,z because only boys can be)

Wren: Not necessarily sexism, but Pratt does hit on her and stupid ass comments that piss her off. It’s borderline sexist and she’s borderline ready to punch him in the face.

Whitney: Yes, she does. She was raised treated like that, honestly, and she was raised to believe it’s okay. Joseph definitely treats her like a housewife, even as Mother of Eden’s Gate. She doesn’t know better, even though it really does piss her off.

Blair: No, not at all. Her coworkers love her and don’t at all think that she shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing. She’s smart and well-respected in her field. And that doesn’t change with the teams at all. Blair isn’t disrespected like that, that’s a big no no. She also helps Mick with being politically correct.

Camille: It depends on which job we’re talking about. She’s had her fair share as a doctor, her knowledge and rep questioned because she’s female. Now, in S.H.I.E.L.D., she has had moments, but not nearly that many. S.H.I.E.L.D. is known for having diverse agents, and the very few she’s witnessed be assholes, she’s corrected (or Nat has rather quickly.) With the Avengers, it’s a hard no. Her place was earned and she’s respected by members of the team, and those members are quick to address those issues when they witness someone treating her that way (they drink their respect women juice.)

Naomi: As a war correspondent, absolutely. Being told that “this is no place for a girl” was something she received a lot. But she did a badass job at it. Now, S.H.I.E.L.D. was a lot better, for sure. They welcomed her and her skills for gaining intelligence with open arms, she’s a resident badass. Once S.H.I.E.L.D. is taken down, she becomes the PR for the Avengers, in which she’s someone you don’t wanna cross. She becomes highly respected.

35. Naptime, yes or no?

Wren: YESSSS! That girl loves naps! Give her a slice of cheesecake or some ice cream right before, and she’ll curl up on the couch and nap while watching The Twilight Zone.

Whitney: Eh, not really. Whit is normally busy with something, and she would rather be doing something productive than nap.

Blair: Yes! Most of it is because she’s working all hours of the night on something in the lab, so when she gets home, she’s not getting enough sleep. So! Yummy hot cocoa and naps!

Camille: Eh, she’s not known for it because she works a lot during the day, but if it happens, it’s because she’s pulling long hours and needs a break. But Camille isn’t really a frequent napper, it makes her more tired, if she’s being honest.

Naomi: Nah, that’s not really her thing. She’s used to long hours, and knows that if she naps, she won’t be able to sleep that night. So she’ll power through and maybe just go to bed a bit earlier to catch up on sleep.

45. Would your character kill someone to get what they want?

Wren: Ehhhh...that’s a hard maybe, depending of if we’re talking pre-cult or not. Wren is morally grey, and if she had to have it, she would once she’s joined Eden’s Gate. But before? Not as likely.

Whitney: Yes! She actually has, to be honest. Joseph and the others pretty much numb her to killing someone, so she’ll poison someone who crosses her. She literally kills with kindness.

Blair: Absolutely not. Blair doesn’t put her personal needs/wants above the value of others and their lives. She’s very much against that and couldn’t live with herself if she did.

Camille: I have a hard time seeing it, unless it was a mission in which it needed to be done (her wanting peace, killing bad guys for it, etc), but those are few and far between because she doesn’t do a lot of the things Natasha does. But she is a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

Naomi: Eh, not really. If it is a “want”, its going to be revenge. But it’ll be with the right intentions and in the name of doing what’s right. She’s not as scared or worried about getting her hands dirty as long as it’s for the right reasons, not necessarily because of something she wants.

55. Do you have any characters who despite trying their best ended up being horrible parents?

Wren: I think it would depend on how you define ‘horrible’. Because Wren tries her best to be the best mother she can be, but feels as though she’s become her father and failed Harper. Mostly because Wren kept a lot of the Wrath and Judge stuff a secret, and Harper doesn’t take kindly to that. It’s not her being a horrible mom, just making bad decisions that affect her kids (mostly Harper) negatively.

Whitney: Yes and no. While yes, she protected her son and put him in hiding with Ivy, she still stands by Joseph for the longest time instead of leaving to be with her son and to take her daughter and sister away from danger and toxic relationships. She is able to redeem it, though. Her and Wren both, actually.

The other three (that I chose to do this for) are good moms, so I don’t think this really applies.

65. Is your character energetic?

Wren: Oh yeah, she definitely can be when she’s comfortable. She can get pretty excited and pumped up, often making Jane, Ivy, and Whit a bit tired. Randy, Gray, and Ro just go along with it, Mel and Quinn join in and encourage it.

Whitney: Yes and no. She really is, but she tries to keep it on a leash and not show it, because she was raised being told that it wasn’t lady like. The more she grows (as a character) and hangs with the rest of the group, she loosens up a bit.

Blair: She can be when she’s had too much coffee. Blair is naturally mellowed out though, often being more calm. She’s not reserved at all, she just...has more of a calming upbeat presence.

Camille: Sorta! It depends on the situation, she’s more reserved when you first meet her. There are moments when she’s with friends that she does absolutely get energetic, but she’s mostly energetic after working out or going for her morning jog.

Naomi: No, not particularly. Like Camille, she’ll get amped up for a workout, and there may come a time where she’ll get energetic over a big event, but she’s not one to get super energetic.

75: Do any of your characters wear glasses, sunglasses, goggles, or monocles?

Wren: She’s obsessed with aviators. She collects them, and they’re usually blue, silver, or black. She eventually steals John’s because she digs them.

Whitney: If she’s gonna wear sunglasses, they’re either the 50′s or 60′s kind. Some cat-eyed, or those bigger glamorous butterfly styled ones. But she does have some nice Gucci and Coach glasses she’ll wear. It depends on what matches.

Blair: She’ll wear regular sunglasses, mostly Ray Bans. She wears reading glasses from time to time, but she mainly uses contacts. Blair has a pair of backup glasses that have the tinted lens.

Camille: She used to wear glasses when she was younger, but she eventually got Lasik, so she doesn’t wear them anymore. As for sunglasses, she wears modern cat-eyed or just rectangle ones. Anything that looks good and is her style.

Naomi: Aviators, and that’s really it. She’s not really big into them, she has one pair of brown aviators, and that’s it. They do the job.

85. Has your character ever been led down the wrong path because of their anger?

Wren: Absolutely. That’s the whole point of her canon, actually. The Wrath leads to her joining Eden’s Gate and becoming the Judge. She eventually redeems herself, but it does lead her down a dark path.

Whitney: Yep. She starts killing for Eden’s Gate because of it, but it’s funny, because it’s her anger that actually helps her redeem herself and gain her freedom: killing Joseph and Ethan.

Blair: Yes and no...? Kinda...? Like, when she woke up from her coma, she found out Carmen had left her for someone else, essentially moving on. The anger is what led to her maybe running into some unfavorable company (Leonard), where she decided to just give him her engagement ring instead of running the risk of him robbing her at the bar they happened to run into each in (his favorite bar). In her anger, she purposefully went to a bar that was known to be a frequent place for criminals. But that anger also had her moving to Star City, where she became a hero. Sometimes her anger can get her in trouble with her powers, but that gets better. It all depends on how you look at it.

Camille: Sort of. The Civil War incident really...was something else. Camille didn’t see it as a dark path, it was what she believed was right. She was angry that something so wrong went down in Lagos, so she sees the need for restrictions and boundaries. Her siding with Tony caused turmoil between her and the others, even Steve, and it led to a huge fight at the airport while trying to bring them in. Rhodes getting hurt added salt to injury. Later, it’s shown to her that perhaps choosing the Accords was the wrong path after all.

Naomi: Depends on how you look at it, honestly. As head of Public Relations for the Avengers, most just assumed that Naomi would be in agreement to the Accords, but she’s not. She’s angry that the government is trying to have control over them, especially after with what happened with S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra, she even says that to Camille when they’re fighting about it. She fully believes Steve and sticks with them as things become divided, and she becomes a fugitive right along with them. So, depending on what side you’re on, it’s either yes or no.

95. If given total rule over a country, would your character step aside to turn it into a democracy?

Wren: I think this depends. I think, yes, for the most part. Wren isn’t one to be a leader, she would rather not, but can rise to the occasion when needed and if she knows it’s better she’s in charge. But she would want everything to be fair and such. It would have to be a true democracy.

Whitney: I see her as keeping control, honestly. Whit is the kind of person that will claim she knows best, and maybe she does, but she wouldn’t relinquish control. Not when she’s never been allowed to have it. If given the opportunity to do so, this queen would absolutely rule.

Blair: Absolutely. She would try her best to set it up with the right candidates, honestly. She wouldn’t want to put anyone in the wrong position where they can do harm, but politics are honestly not her thing.

Camille: Yes, without hesitation. I could see her turning to Steve, because who else would know better than Captain America (and no, not that knock-off Gucci Captain America they have on The Falcon and The Winter Soldier--we don’t support Walker in the Camille and Steve household), so she would ask who would be better to hand it off to.

Naomi: She would give that up so fast, without thought. She agrees fully with Sam when he says that he’s just the soldier, because she feels something very similar. She wants nothing to do with leading something like that, she doesn’t want that responsibility. It’s why she doesn’t really join the Avengers. She has zero interest in leading.

100. Are any of your characters queer?

Honestly, it’s safe to say that most of my OCs are. I have more queer OCs than I have straight OCs. But I have so many OCs, I’m just gonna list the ones I’ve done so far, and if you wanna know more, you can always send me an ask!

Wren: Bi, hands down. Her first relationship was with a woman named Lilith in college. She honestly preferred women in the beginning because she doesn’t trust men easily.

Whit: She’s bi, but still in the closet. She hasn’t had a chance to really be with a woman, but the attraction is there, and so it the want to do so.

Blair: Definitely pansexual. She thought she was just bi for the longest time, but she’s actually pansexual, and she’s comfortable with it. She was engaged to a woman before she went into a coma, and a few hook ups afterwards have been a mixture of genders.

Camille: Straight. One of the few that I have that is, honestly. She’s tried in college, but it wasn’t for her. She supports it completely, though. One of her best friends is gay, and she went to their wedding.

Naomi: Bi, definitely bi. She’s had a mixture of men and women in her dating history, but ultimately none of them worked out because it’s hard to have a personal life when you’re in war zones for the sake of journalism or working for S.H.I.E.L.D. where you’re undercover often in order to gather intelligence.

#oc: wren blake #oc: whitney seed #oc: blair chambers #oc: camille riley #oc: naomi clarke #my ocs #asks #guileandgall

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keelywolfe · 4 years

Text

FIC: Biting Off More Than You Can Chew; part 12

Summary: It's the morning after Rus's heat. Time for a little truth or consequence.

Tags: heatfic, dubious consent, NSFW, frenemies to lovers, mates, first time, more if I think of them

PLEASE READ THE TAGS: This is a Heat story, so there are going to be issues of consent. I don’t do partner rape, nope, but hey, I want to be straight with y’all. I like heatfics personally, but I understand how they can be troubling for some people. So there it is.

Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

~~*~~

Read Chapter 12 on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

Rus was dead. It was the only explanation for how shitty he felt.

Being dead sure as hell sounded better than dealing with all the aches and pains he could feel settling into his bones. Better than dealing with the trickle of memory that was starting to soak into his thoughts, of spending the last night in a heat-induced haze of fucking, and by the shiny damned stars, having sex all night long only sounded good if you were getting paid by the hour. Anyone off the clock needed some damn sleep after a while and that was a fact.

Since dead people didn’t need sleep, though, Rus was gonna have to come to the regrettable conclusion that he was alive, in which case he might actually have to deal with some shit.

In the positive column, his soul felt…okay. Settled. That seemed like a good word for it or maybe deeply satisfied would be better. A miles-deep itch luxuriously scratched with a firm application of dick. A quick trip over into the negatives was he felt like every single one of his bones had a bruise fucked into it somewhere.

Also, he desperately wanted a cigarette and oh, yeah, he was in Edge’s bed and the last time that happened, the waking up didn’t exact rate a 10 on the hospitality scale. He could feel the presence of a body behind him and unless some serious changes in time and space happened while he was out cold, it was a good guess that it was Edge. Yay.

Welp, since he wasn’t dead, there was nothing for it. Cautiously, Rus eased over to take a gander.

Edge was there, all right, sound asleep, rusty-dark circles beneath his sockets. Stood to reason he’d still be zonked; he’d been along for the entire bouncy ride and stuck around for the cleanup. That was something to be grateful for right there. The bond between them felt oddly empty, like it was lying dormant. Rus prodded at it mentally like poking at a sore tooth and there was only the faintest pulse of response, not even enough for Edge to stir.

Yeah, buddy was tired, he deserved a chance to sleep in, right, job well done and all that shit. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be too pissed off if he slept through his shift, but Rus wasn’t sticking around to find out. Time to get out before black comedy took a left turn back to the drama category.

Didn’t exactly start off well; the second Rus tried to climb out of bed, it felt like this morphed from porn to some kind of stealth game. First objective, slithering off the mattress without moving it enough to wake the Edgelord. Next, his clothes were scattered to the four corners of the room, forcing Rus to tiptoe around to gather them up. At least they weren’t hard to find. Aside from his loose wardrobe, the room was neat as a pin.

Rus slipped his clothes back on, grimacing at the lingering dampness on his tank top and at the crotch of his pants. He sure as hell hoped Muffet held on to the sweatshirt he’d left at her bar even if she charged a cleaning fee, it was one of his favorites. Thinking of Muffet made him wince. His reputation was going to take a hell of a beating over last night or at least start up a Scooby Doo style mystery.

He’d deal with that later. Wasn’t much he could do about his clothes now, he wasn’t hanging around to do laundry, and he only needed to wear them long enough for a couple shortcuts.

Done and done, time to hit bricks and if the shortcut down to the machine woke Edge, all he could do was send an annoyed text. Yep, it was time to go, back home where he didn’t have to think about anything he didn’t want to, tuck all this shit about heats and bonds and who-the-fuck-knew else back into the dark, dusty corners of his mind while he focused on naps and smoking. Back to the ol’ basics.

Except, Rus still found himself hesitating, looking back where Edge was sleeping curled up beneath the rumpled blankets.

Rus’s soul gave an uncomfortable throb. Edge looked so damn young when he was asleep. All of the sharp corners and creases that bound him up during the day eased, leaving his skull smoother and the cracks that ran through his socket starker, more poignant. A pretty unwelcome reminder that he was the same age as Blue…and that he’d never had sex before, fucking hell, what a way to lose any vestiges of virginity a guy had, both times in a feverish, heat-induced marathon. Rus wasn’t an expert on the mornings-after, okay, he’d only slept over by accident a few other times. Dropped unconscious was more accurate, he’d been drunk as hell every time. Sneaking out for a hasty walk of shame while his nighttime companion and/or mistake was still out cold was fine on those occasions, but this time? Seemed kinda rude, what with the whole soul bond thing. Maybe really rude.

Besides, could be if Rus stuck around, he’d get breakfast out of the deal again.

That hooked it. He’d stay until Edge got up and see how this played out, and if it started with, any version of, ‘Why are you still here?’, he’d hit bricks. He rubbed his chest right over his soul, mentally ordering it to quit with the whining, he was staying, okay?

For now, he needed a damned cigarette. That itchy craving might be a pale comparison to driving heat crawling through his bones, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t irritating. The crumpled pack in his pants pocket held two mangled butts and his lighter. It’d have to do.

Rus stepped outside the bedroom door and carefully closed it before taking shortcut down to the front porch, already shaking out a cig before he sat down. It was cold outside, the sudden chill refreshing on his bones. The soothing rush of nicotine was all the better coupled with the linger ache in his bones. Nothing like a smoke after getting laid.

Not that ‘getting laid’ really lived up to the experience, now did it. That first time had been something, but his turn in the heat box was…fuck. That shit had been something else, the memory a blurry mess of pleasure and hot aching, his soul uncaring as it slowly collapsed into pain and dragged his dick along for the ride. If that was what it was like with a helper along, Rus didn’t even want to think about what it might be like to endure it alone. Someone needed to ask evolution for a refund, because that didn’t qualify under normal wear and tear.

Then again, if getting knocked up kept a Monster from having to go through that, it was a hell of an incentive.

A shadow fell over him and Rus looked up. And up, and up, at a hulking bear Monster, radiating LV without even a check, their beady, reddened eyes focused laser-sharp on Rus.

Yeah, okay, that was a hell of a wake-up call to remind him he was still in Underfell.

“Hey, there precious,” the Bear said, low and growling. “don’t you smell delicious?”

Welp, that was ominous on about three different levels, four if Rus could use complex mathematics, but this guy looked like 2 + 2 might tax his skill level.

Suddenly, Rus was feeling a lot more self-conscious about his tank top; there was a reason he normally bundled up in a sweatshirt and it wasn’t because he couldn’t take the temps.

Before Rus could decide whether to take his chances telling them to piss off, or shortcut out and ruin one of his last cigarettes, a familiar voice said from behind the Bear, “might wanna take another whiff there, smokey, that one’s taken.”

The Bear did, loudly, nostrils flaring, and Rus would’ve sworn he paled even though his face was covered in fur. He ducked his head and it was more than a little bemusing to see him so subservient to a guy not even half their height, muttering out, “Sorry, Red, I didn’t know.”

“uh huh,” Red hooked a thumb towards town, “you got a free whiff, now fuck off.”

The Bear dropped down to all fours and waddled hastily away. Rus watched him go, their tail waggling like a flag of surrender. Then he looked back at Red.

Red looked like Red, that ever-present smirk of his lingering on his mouth. He tucked his hands into his pockets and rocked on his sneakered heels. “you shouldn’t be outside yet,” Red said, “you still reek and some of the dimmer bulbs won’t check who you belong to, since the boss hasn’t bothered to put a collar on you yet.”

“yet?” Rus took a long drag, snorting out smoke through his nasal cavity. “yeah, i don’t think so. i don’t belong to anyone.”

“don’t take it so hard. he belongs to you, too,” Red sounded resigned. As if had any fucking right to, as if this whole clusterfuck wasn’t his fault, and yeah, it might’ve still gone down this way if Red just told him about this, maybe handed over that fabled heat manual along with the rock and the hard place, but at least Rus would’ve had a choice. At least this would be all his bad decisions, that much he was used to. Not Red using him like a bandage, slapping him over his brother’s wound and expecting him to soak up all the juices.

Only to find out it wasn’t as easy to toss him out afterward and fuck it, Rus was losing the metaphor, but the point stood. Red didn’t have a right to sound like that, fucking prick.

What all this really came down to was that there was a choice to make here, and the bitch of it was, Rus already knew what one he was going to make.

Rus sighed and held out the pack of cigarettes, and after a minute, Red took the last one, tossing the crumpled pack on the ground where Edge was probably gonna find it and bitch about it. Red sat down next to him on the step and took the silently offered lighter, too. They sat there for a while, smoking in the quiet morning and honestly, what a laugh, right? Red and Sans could hold onto a grudge in both their greasy little hands until the Universe went to dust and Rus’s soft little soul folded like a card house after one shouting match.

Seriously, Red really knew how to pick his scapegoats, didn’t he.

“i really hate you, you know,” Rus said conversationally. The artificial light was getting brighter. If he were back home, Rus would already be napping at his sentry station.

Red only chuckled humorlessly, “there’s another thing you and my bro have in common.”

“your brother doesn’t hate you.”

Red shrugged, flicking ash across the snow mounded around their porch. “wouldn’t know. haven’t seen him since his heat.”

“what?” That sure as hell got Rus’s attention. Yeah, Red skipped out on movie night, but Rus hadn’t known it was that bad. “you live here.”

Red’s grin was blade-sharp, his eye lights firmly on his untied shoes. “see that’s the thing about being able to shortcut. you don’t have to see anybody you don’t wanna.”

“true.” But Rus couldn’t help but wonder who didn’t want to see who, ‘cause if Red did all this for his brother, it was pretty damn hard to believe that he’d ditch him over the fallout. “edge is still pretty pissed, huh.”

Not that Rus had a leg to stand on in that fight, not when he was still pissed off himself. Once Edge figured out who sent Rus into the lion’s heat den—an extremely short list of suspects— stood to reason he’d be steamed.

Red said nothing. He flicked his burnt-out butt into the snow and pulled a slim silver case out of his pocket. Weirdly posh for him but when he opened it, there was a neat row of those little cigars that he liked to smoke. He held the case out, offering, and fuck it, Rus took one. Nicotine was nicotine, even if the harsh smoke made him cough. When Red made a move to pat him on the back, Rus leaned away, glaring through his cough.

“don’t,” Rus wheezed out. “don’t touch me.” He took a couple deep, clean breaths, and added, “we aren’t good, i want you to know that. we aren’t friends. you fucked me over good with this shit.”

“yeah. i did.” Red didn’t argue. He smoked his cigar and looked out at the snow drifts around them. At his battered version of Snowdin, his world that was so fucked up that it forced Monsters to go into heat and nearly die themselves to keep the population up.

Rus sighed, absently twirling the cigar between his fingers. “but if you want, i’ll try and help you get back in with your bro.”

That got Red’s attention. He turned to Rus, sockets narrowed suspiciously. “why would you do that?”

“because edge didn’t ask for any of this shit, either,” Rus said, low, “and now he’s stuck with me of all people, isn’t he. he doesn’t deserve to lose his brother, too, especially not in your shitheap of a world.” And it was a shitty, shitty thing Red did, but damned if Rus didn’t get it. What wouldn’t he do for his own bro? Might be better not to put it to the test.

Red said, dubiously, “don’t think that’s how he’d look at it—”

He didn’t get a chance to elaborate. Rus got the faintest impression of someone else’s panic at almost the exact moment the door swung open abruptly behind them and Edge came boiling out, nearly tripped ass over teakettle over them. His wild panic faded when he saw them, the flare of his eye lights dimming to confusion, “Why are you outside?”

Rus shrugged and held up the cigar in answer. “don’t worry, red is a good bodyguard.”

From the corner of his socket, Rus let his eye lights linger on Edge’s bare ribcage, the smooth, broad bones occasionally intersected with the scars of old cracks. The clotted bite mark on his sternum was stark in the artificial daylight and looking at it gave Rus a weird itch, echoed in the healed scar on his collarbone. Interesting to see that Edge hadn’t put on a shirt or even his boots. He was going to go searching in the snow in his bare feet, so panicked he was gonna chase Rus down without shoes.

Guess it was a good thing he decided not to leave. The last thing he needed was Edge showing up half-naked in Underswap Snowdin and tearing apart the town searching for him. That soul bond shit really did a number on a guy’s head, didn’t it, plus maybe some dregs of that heat lingering at the bottom of the mug.

He had the bond pulled in pretty tight right now, anyway. Rus didn’t feel a bit of Edge’s visible discomfort. His ungloved fingers clattered lightly against his skull as he ran a hand over it. “Both of you get inside.”

A direct order that neither Rus nor Red made any move to obey. Rus pinched out his cigar and tucked it into his pocket in case of a later nicotine emergency, then tipped his skull back to look at Edge, all that restless impatience turned upside down.

“you gonna make us some breakfast?” Rus asked lightly.

Edge’s eye lights settled on his and he stared at Rus, unblinking, and fuck only knew what he was seeing. Then they slowly slid to his brother’s back, at Red who was currently staring holes into the ground.

“Yes,” Edge agreed, slowly. “Now come inside.” He didn’t wait to see if they followed, turned on his bare heel and went back in, leaving the door open behind him. Red made a show about getting to his feet, tossing the cigar butt into the snow and giving his ass a lazy scratch. He was shifting impatiently by the time Rus did the same, minus the ass scratch, and shuffled inside.

Edge was waiting by the kitchen door. He said to Rus, “Why don’t you go upstairs and take a nap while I cook? You look like you could use a little more rest.”

“don’t have to tell me twice.” Especially since he suspected Edge wanted to talk with his brother without an audience. Welp, he’d gotten Red through the door, the rest was up to them.

Rus took a shortcut right up into Edge’s mussed bed. The sheets had already given up all the heat they’d collected overnight. Didn’t matter, they were still comfortable and the blankets plentiful. Rus burrowed in, sighing, and closing his sockets, firmly ignoring the spicy, sex-musty stink that was probably baked into the linens even as it made his soul twitch feebly with interest.

Nope, you had your fun, he told it sternly. Time to sit in the back seat until his pelvis felt less like it’d been used as a rocking horse.

Honestly, he didn’t mean to actually fall asleep or at least not as hard as he did, but he must’ve because the next thing Rus knew Edge was there, along with the tantalizing aroma of pancakes and coffee.

The spread was as good as the last time, golden-brown pancakes with a pat of melting butter pooled in the center, mingling with the drizzled honey. Tempting as that was, despite the hungry cry in his soul for sustenance, Rus reached for the coffee first. Only two notches above lukewarm with plenty of milk and sugar, just how he liked it.

Edge set the tray on the bed between them, digging into his plate of pancakes while Rus got close and personal with the coffee. Didn’t take long for him to finish his caffeinated bonding and start in on his own plate, groaning his bliss out around a mouthful of delicious caky sweetness.

“this is so good,” Rus mumbled, then before Edge could grouse about his tables manners in spite of the lack of table, he swallowed and added, “i could get used to being served breakfast in bed after a long night of heat sex.”

Edge’s fork paused almost too briefly to be seen, quickly cutting into his second pancake. “I think something like that could be arranged.”

It was lightly said, but the reminder made Rus grimace anyway. Yeah, if what Edge told him before held true, they were gonna be doing this every few months or so, weren’t they. A shitty situation all the way around, but fuck it, at least there might be future pancakes. He poked at a bite with his fork, the soft innards dissolving into a honey sludge.

As good as the food was, it was weirdly awkward to be sitting here eating pancakes, even more than it’d been the last time. Last time, Rus thought he was about to head home and all this would end up a footnote in his autobiography. Now Rus knew it was gonna end up as a chapter of its own and sitting here trying not to look at the bite mark he’d left on Edge’s sternum on the same bed where only a few hours ago he’d been putting in a good effort to pound Edge through the mattress was a little…yeah, awkward didn’t seem to quite cover it.

Reluctant as he was to think about last night, he did have some clear memories, and hadn’t he just been telling Red that none of this was Edge’s fault? Might be time to put his G where his big mouth was.

“i’m sorry for what i said last night,” Rus said bluntly. “it was shitty of me to blame all this on you.”

Edge didn’t even pause, only swallowed down his current mouthful and said, “I’m hardly going to hold what you say in heat against you. One of the first things in the manual is to not take things a heat-stricken Monster says personally.”

“yeah? that’s probably sound advice.” Rus dragged a bite of pancake through the leftover honey puddled on the plate, sopping it up. “i didn’t know how awful that was for you before. i suspected, you didn’t exactly seem like you were having a good time, but that?” Rus ducked his head, shuddering. “that was something else.”

“Being in heat is awful,” Edge agreed. “however, it shouldn’t be that bad again. Not according to the manual.”

“it’s word is law, huh?”

“After a few centuries of refinement, I’m willing to follow it.”

Rus was running out of pancakes to use as a buffer, time to speed this up. “i feel like an asshole for having to ask and i can guess what you’re say, but…um…are you okay?”

Stupid how that faint smile of Edge’s sent a little pulse through his soul, this bond thing could be really annoying. “I’m fine. And you wouldn’t be an asshole even if I weren’t, it wasn’t your fault.”

“it feels like my fault.” He’d been the one climbing on top, he’d been the one pinning Edge down. Willing or no, it’d still felt like Rus was taking too much, taking, forcing, driven by unrelenting heat and—

“Who are you going to trust, your feeling or me?”

Rus only laughed, a little uncomfortably. He dabbled a finger in the honey dregs, licked it clean. “i’m not usually much of a dick man, anyway. better to receive than give, in my opinion.”

“I don’t think I’m prepared to choose either way.” Edge mused thoughtfully as he set the tray with their empty plates on the floor. “I’d need more data.”

Oh. Well, now. That almost sounded like an invitation, now, dinnit?

Maybe if he…gingerly, Rus opened up the mental wall he had up around his soul juuust a little, a wide enough crack to peer out. He could feel Edge doing the same, so fucking weird, allowing the barest tickle of emotion that wasn’t his, but Rus was ready to match that emotion pretty damn quick.

Desire, as thick and sweet as that morning’s honey.

Rus swallowed hard, “uh, do you maybe…?”

“Yes, I want you,” Edge said bluntly. Just tossed it out there like a ball for Rus to fumble, except not really because Rus had a hold on it now, opening up his soul a wee bit more. Okay, so, if he could feel all the concerns and worries that Edge put out, stood to reason he’d feel want, he’d felt it a little last night. Wants and needs and desires and pleasure, and holy hell, this was gonna be interesting, wasn’t it.

“aww, sweet talker,” Rus cooed. He reached out and traced around the bite mark on Edge’s sternum teasingly, skirting dangerously close to the damaged bone. “you up for some experimenting?”

“Are you offering?”

“yeah, i am.” Enough dancing around, Rus was a little too tired yet to try for the tango. And why the fuck not. His cock was out of commission, but his cunt was all right, and as far as he knew, the only sex Edge ever had was his own heat and its aftermath, and then Rus’s. He could stand to be shown a good time. Hell, Edge was a better lay than most anyone else Rus went home with before, plus he came with morning after pancakes. Maybe this bond thing didn’t have to be so bad, especially if Edge was willing to let him show off a trick or two.

Rus leaned in, carefully telegraphing each move, and kissed him. Jaggedly sharp teeth parted, allowing his tongue inside and there was something about navigating around them, the almost-danger of it that pulled a groan out of Rus, fuck, yes, this was gonna be amazing it was—

An unguarded flash of emotion pulsed through Rus’s soul, a spark of unexpected warmth. Rus jerked back instinctively, flinching away from Edge, both hands curling over his chest as he asked shakily, “what the fuck!”

That emotion was stifled immediately, snuffed out and hastily hidden behind that mental brick wall again. “My apologies,” Edge said smoothly. He leaned in, trying to kiss Rus again but it was about ten steps past too late for that.

“no, no, holy shit, what the fuck!” That brief, shining flash, so brief, but Rus knew it for what it was. Too-warm and tender, settled insidiously against his own for only a moment, but he knew.

Love.

Rus scrambled out of the bed, nearly tripping over the tray on the floor, dishes rattling as he backed hastily away, his trembling hands held out as if to keep Edge back.

Edge didn’t try to stop him, he only sat there, looking bleak and…and…no, fuck no…

“no,” Rus choked out, “no, i can’t do that, this bond.” He clutched a fist over his sternum where his soul was aching to manifest “i can’t…please…i can’t deal with it making me feel things that aren’t real, i can’t.”

“It’s not the bond,” Edge whispered, barely audible. He looked way, down at his hands twisting in his lap. “I felt that way before I ever touched you.”

“don’t…” Rus blurted, low and thready. The sourness rising at the back of his throat overwhelming the lingering sweet. “don’t you fucking dare. i don’t believe you.”

“Why do you think my brother chose you?”

“He told me—“

”Oh, I’m sure he had a very good excuse. But heat can be more selective than you’d think.” Edge closed his sockets, exhaling long and slow, “My brother knew exactly how I felt about you and he knew that I never wanted this for you. You deserve a choice, a better choice, any other choice than this.”

“you don’t…you don’t feel that way about me…” Rus said shakily. “you can’t.” More denials trembled on his tongue, but how the fuck was he supposed to deny what he felt with his own soul.

He didn’t even think about shortcutting, only knew he needed to be gone.

The basement was cold, colder even then outside, untouched by the artificial light. Rus fumbled at the machine controls. He had to clear it and reset the coordinates for Underswap twice. Home, he had to get home, that was all, he had to get away from here and…

…and then what?

What was he gonna do? Go hide in Underswap again until heat struck one of them down?

Rus covered his face with trembling hands, inhaled the nauseating mixture the smell of tobacco and sweet honey that clung to his bones. Everything had changed and nothing had changed; the heat was still going to come and there was no place deep enough Rus could bury himself, no Monster he could pull between his legs to ride him to forgetfulness that was gonna stop it.

He didn’t know what to do anymore.

He stood in front of the shimmering blackness of portal, his soul knotted into a screaming tantrum of not fair and when had that ever changed a fucking thing? Terror and anger could fight it out for supremacy in his head, but he had some pretty visceral proof that he couldn’t run away from this one and that was the bitch of it. It was chained directly to his soul and there was no easy escape, not this time.

It was hard to force any kind of clarity into his warbling thoughts, but Rus did the best he could. Deep, calming breaths, his breath clouding in the cold of the basement. He was shivering by the time his panic loosened its hold, bones rattling in the stillness. Okay, obviously, his head and soul were twisted on backwards and upside down over this. What he needed was an outside opinion, someone who didn’t have a horse in this race to give him some damned advice.

Rus went through the portal and closed it behind him before heading upstairs, towards the best opinion he knew. He’d barely opened the door when a shout rang out, making him cringe.

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!”

His brother all but flew off the sofa, furiously. Tears stood out in his sockets, shining against the starry blue of his eye lights. “I have been looking everywhere for you! The Monsters at Muffet’s said you were acting strangely and--” Whatever Blue saw on his face made him pause, his righteous anger fading. When Rus dropped to his knees and opened his arms Blue was there in an instant, holding him close. His small, sturdy body was comfort, it was home, and Rus greedily absorbed the feel of it.

All too soon, Blue pulled away. He didn’t go far, cupping Rus’s face in his gentle, gloved hands. “Papy? What is going on?”

That was his bro, always so kind and trying so hard to understand, to make things better. Blue wanted so terribly much to fix it, whatever it was, things and places and people and Rus.

“sit down, bro,” Rus sighed, nudging him towards the sofa, “and i’ll explain. but it’s a long story.”

“Then start telling it,” Blue settled in on the cushions, folding his hands in his lap expectantly. “and brother? I’m expecting a much longer tale than ‘Fuzzy Bunny’.”

Rus resisted the urge to say anything about it being a tale about getting tail and sat down next to him, sprawling into his brother’s lap. “okay. you remember a few weeks ago when i stayed out all night—"

~~*~~

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #heatfic #biting off more than you can chew

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cannibalisticapple · 5 years

Text

So around a week or two ago I sent an anonymous ask to @corndog-patrol suggesting Villain Mic finding a Cat!Shouta. When I saw it on my phone in the car, I had to stop myself from reading until I could get home and look at it in full on my computer. It has been so much better than I could have ever imagined.

Seeing all the doodles and artwork so far has been a HUGE inspiration for me, and I ended up writing this over the past week. Because I am physically incapable of writing anything short, it kinda ballooned to almost 8k words, partially because I ended up adding to it as more art was posted. The majority of it was written before the bowtie pic though, including the opening scene. (Fun fact: I originally called Shouta “Pepper”.)

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, well, anything to Tumblr, so apologies for any weird formatting issues! And thanks again to @corndog-patrol for making such a great Villain Mic AU! Anyways, enjoy!

The Adventures of Puddles

Given his known fondness for cats, most of Shouta’s friends and colleagues often teased him about how getting hit by a Quirk that turned him into a cat would be a dream come true for him.

They were wrong.

The hero-turned-feline felt thoroughly irritated as he loped down the street, the heavy downpour soaking him thoroughly and weighing down his thick black fur with water. He’d been turned into a cat while heading to UA just that evening, and since then he’d been rather unhappy. Nemuri had laughed her head off when she found him halfway to her apartment with his goggles around his neck and his capture weapon dragging along the ground behind him, which really hadn’t helped much.

Considering he’d been found by Nemuri relatively fast, he should be safe and dry right now, but then Nemuri had taken him to UA. Logically it made sense of course, Shouta would be safe there and he’d have easy access to a support network to find a way to reverse the transformation. Unfortunately, he hadn’t accounted for how the kids would react. One of them had sighted Nemuri carrying him inside, and Nemuri had no hesitation dumping him on the student with a sadistic grin while she went to meet with the other staff.

After spending an hour being assaulted by his students cooing over him and ruffling him from twenty different directions at once (literally), he’d desperately craved some space and alone time. The sight of Snipe and Cementoss sneaking around with cameras and phones ready, clearly intending to take photos of his ordeal, had been the last push he needed to jump the wall and get away from UA for a bit. He knew the area well enough, he should be safe to walk around a couple hours even as a cat. Key word: should.

It was just his luck he’d get chased by someone’s dog for what must have been half a mile, ending with him lost in an only vaguely familiar part of town. His attempts to find his way back had only succeeded in making him more lost over the ensuing hours, the vaguely familiar scenery giving way to buildings he absolutely did not recognize. And of course, it also had to start raining shortly after that.

Right now, he just wanted to get out of the heavy rain. He was wet, cold, tired, and felt sore in ways he didn’t even know possible until being turned into a cat. Turns out having your body undergo a radical physical transformation tended to put some stress on muscles and preexisting injuries. Go figure. At least his dry eye hadn’t seemed to transfer over, but that didn’t make him any less stressed.

The feeling only amplified when he stepped in a puddle and proceeded to plummet into it with a startled yowl, water splashing everywhere. Of course this sidewalk would have a giant hole in it that flooded with water and turned into a miniature, cat-sized bath. The hole was deep enough his head barely stuck above the water, the chilly temperature making him shudder. He scrabbled at the edges with an annoyed growl, trying to pull himself out.

“Hey, you okay little buddy?” The voice behind him made him freeze, the fur on his back standing on end. Shit. He knew that voice. His head whipped around to see a man crouching behind him, and while he wasn’t wearing his costume, Shouta couldn’t think of anyone else with a loud voice who also sported a stupid mustache like that. This had to be Present Mic.

Great, just great, he thought sarcastically. For some odd reason the idiot wasn’t wearing a raincoat in this weather, his long blond hair partially pulled into a bun with the loose strands plastered to his face and shoulders by the rain. How the guy could even see with all those water droplets on his glasses was beyond Shouta. “Oh man, I always said someone was gonna fall into this stupid thing. Come on, let’s get you out.”

Shouta silently glowered at the villain as he reached out to him but made no effort to push him away. Trying to get a good grip on the pavement was tricky with the rain making everything so slippery. Maybe if he could figure out how to get his claws to pop out, but he’d yet to figure out a lot of his new form’s functions. Frankly, the fact he could walk at all was a miracle considering he’d never used a four-legged body before.

So the sulking cat allowed the blond villain to carefully slip his hands around Shouta’s... armpits? Well, his hands went between around the edges of his front legs and shoulders, so, close enough—and pull him out of the hole. Rather than put him down like he expected though, Mic shifted his hold to carry the grumpy feline, turning to walk to a nearby apartment building. “Come on, let’s get you inside so we can dry you off. My place is just over there!”

...And now Mic was taking him to his apartment. Crap. Shouta naturally began to struggle, wanting to get the hell back to UA instead, but Mic had a surprisingly strong grip. In the end he gave up and just sulked in the villain’s arms with a grumpy scowl as the blond draped a towel over him, resigned to his fate. At least he was out of the rain.

“Oh man, you’re lucky I found you!” Mic commented, looking down at him with a concerned frown. “A lil’ fella like yourself could drown in all that rain!” He switched on the light switch by the door, illuminating one of the most rundown and shabby apartments Shouta had ever seen. And considering his meager salary as an underground hero, he’d seen a lot of crummy places while apartment hunting. “You’ll be safe here, just make yourself at home you little cutie!”

Shouta just silently scowled at his current predicament. He just wanted to get warm and dry and take a nice, long nap until this stupid Quirk wore off. (It better wear off.)

The Quirk did not wear off.

Morning found Shouta still very much a feline, much to his ire. He woke up well before Mic, the blond snoozing away in his bedroom (Shouta had chosen to sleep on the couch, which had literal patches sewn on it, he’d never seen that outside cartoons), and Shouta felt no small amount of irritation at the fact he still had this stupid feline body. At least he was warm and dry now. That didn’t make him any happier about the situation though.

A glance at the bathroom mirror had revealed himself to be particularly mangy and stocky rather than sleek and agile-looking like most cats. His long hair had turned into thick, shaggy fur, the black coloration adding an air of dirtiness as opposed to the soft and fluffy feeling exuded by Mic’s actual cat. Sprinkles, if the name written on the food bowl was accurate.

Speaking of the food bowl, Mic was now beaming down at Shouta as he sat next to the now-full bowl. “Come on, it’s safe to eat!” Mic goaded—nay, practically pleaded with him, his mouth pulled into a pout as he looked down at Shouta. “You have to be hungry, little guy!”

Shouta just glowered at him, ignoring the bowl. Nope. Not gonna eat that. He might be a cat for now (seriously this stupid thing better wear off on its own), but he was NOT going to eat cat food.

Mic sighed, seeming to accept the fact as he turned to begin rifling through the cabinet. Good, looks like he got the picture and was looking for something else to feed him. “It’s the bowl, right?” he muttered. Wait, what? Mic turned around holding a cracked plastic soup bowl, dumping another scoop of kitty kibble into it before setting it next to Shouta. “There! This bowl doesn’t smell like Sprinkles, so it should be good, right?”

He beamed down at Shouta, clearly proud of his understanding of cats. Shouta just stared at him blandly, making no move to touch it, and Mic soon deflated. “Eh, you’ll get hungry try it eventually,” he muttered, turning away with a sigh and trudging off to his bedroom. Shouta watched him leave with a blank face, still pointedly ignoring the bowl of cat food.

As he sat there Sprinkles sauntered over and plopped down on the floor next to him, blinking her large eyes at him as she studied him curiously. Normally, Shouta would be happy to be in the presence of a cat, especially one who seemed as sweet and friendly as Sprinkles. Seeing as he himself was currently a cat, however, he found his joy slightly diminished. He couldn’t exactly pet her with paws, which sucked since her fluffy white fur looked particularly soft and silky.

For now, he settled for patting her leg with his paw to try to satiate the urge. Sadly, it did not have the same effect as running his fingers through her fur. He sulked up until he heard a gasp, and turned to see Mic staring at him with sparkly eyes from the door to his bedroom. He bounced over with a giant grin and bent down next to them. “So adorable!” he gushed, rubbing Shouta’s head affectionately.

At this point, Shouta’s broody mood outweighed the urge to claw off his hand.

“So, I already have Sprinkles,” Mic mused aloud, “So what do you think of the name... Pickles?”

Scratch that. Shouta proceeded to do so literally, highly satisfied by the startled and pained yelp from the blond.

“Ow! Ow! Okay, not Pickles! Ouch, that really hurts!”

Day two of being a cat. Shouta was now covered in clothes while Mic loudly rooted through his dresser.

“Where is that shirt?” Mic grumbled to himself, tossing a pair of jeans over his shoulder. Why he apparently stored pants and shirts in the same drawers, Shouta had no idea. Why did a person need this many clothes? Granted, he barely bothered with more than the minimal amount needed himself. But still.

Also, what was that guy even aiming at? Shouta was sitting in the doorway, not even fully in the room!

Mic made a sound of triumph as he held up a shirt in an eye-searing chartreuse, on the more yellow end of the spectrum. A fact Shouta knew only because he’d spent an hour arguing with one of his students over demanding to use the color in their costume two years ago. Why. Why did anyone have clothing in that shade.

Mic turned around with a grin, but his smile quickly faded to a look of confusion. “Puddles? Puddles, where are you?” Shouta’s eye twitched, still displeased with the name (seriously, what was with this guy’s preoccupation with English words?), but it beat literally every other suggestion the villain had. Even if he didn’t like the whole reminder of being pulled out of a puddle.

He gave a displeased mrow and Mic blinked and bent down next to the discarded pile of clothes, lifting up a pants leg to see Shouta’s eyes glowering up at him. “Oh, there you are, you silly baby!” Shouta glared at him, willing all his disdain to show through his eyes. Mic was unfazed. “Aw, geez, now I need to wash the hair off this stuff!” Mic playfully scolded as he started picking up the clothes.

You literally threw it on me, Shouta thought silently. You have no one to blame but yourself for this. He waited patiently for Mic to lift the clothes off him, depositing them on his bed to be washed later. Shouta took silent pleasure in the glimpse of black hairs stuck to them.

Mic pulled on the eye-searing shirt while Shouta continued to sit and brood, chattering all the while. “Man, I am so stoked to see this band tonight! I feel kinda bad leaving you alone here all day when you’re still getting used to the place, but you’ll have Sprinkles to keep you company so you shouldn’t be too lonely!” He grabbed what Shouta presumed to be his work uniform and folded the shirt over his arm, giving Shouta a final pet as he strode past him. Shouta remained in place, pointedly ignoring him as he continued to sulk and brood.

Approximately ten seconds later Mic returned, looking notably dejected. “Your bowl is still full,” he said glumly. “Are you seriously on some sort of hunger strike?” Shouta made a rumbling noise halfway between a meow and a grumble, and Mic groaned, dragging his hand down his face. “C’mon, Puddles, I’m on a limited budget here! Do I need to steal expensive food for you?”

Shouta responded with a pointed glare. He would NOT condone Mic stealing cat food for him. As a hero, he couldn’t allow even the most trivial of crimes, even if they had good intentions behind them. Plus, he had a feeling the blond would try feeding him a wet canned food next, and the thought of the slimy-looking can-shaped meat chunk just made him want to shudder.

(He pointedly ignored the fact he stole one of the pieces of chicken from Mic’s dinner last night when the blond wasn’t looking. He was a cat right now, cats did not need to obey any laws, and snagging food from someone’s plate wasn’t exactly illegal anyway.)

“I still have that concert tonight so it’ll have to wait until tomorrow,” Mic sighed, and then nodded to himself with a look of renewed resolve. “I can’t let you starve though! We’ll have to improvise for now!” He marched off to the kitchen, and Shouta followed silently, letting himself feel a glimmer of hope. That hope was soon rewarded when he found Mic rooting through the fridge, pulling out a can of sardines.

Not my first choice but I’ll take it. Shouta trotted over as Mic put it on a paper plate, hopping onto the counter to begin chowing down before he could even pick up the plate. Relief visibly flooded Mic’s face as he ate, his shoulders slumping and a breath of air escaping him. “Oh thank goodness, I was getting worried there! Kinda picky for a stray though, aren’tcha?” Shouta just rumbled in the back of his throat, too busy eating to respond otherwise.

“Welp, I gotta run if I want to get to work on time,” Mic said, glancing at the clock. “See you later, cool cats! Sprinkles, make sure Puddles doesn’t get into trouble while I’m gone!” The white cat meowed in response, and with a jaunty wave Mic departed, the click of the door shutting and locking ringing particularly heavily in the ensuing silence. Shouta’s head snapped up, eyes locking on the door.

Okay, he’s finally gone. Time to see if I can find an escape route. Shouta had no intention of staying here absolutely longer than necessary; the sooner he found someone he knew, the better. Finishing off the sardines, he leaped off the counter and made his way to the door, determined to get out.

Ten minutes of trying to open it later, he found his resolve faltering though. Cat paws just weren’t good for turning round doorknobs, even with the advantage of knowing how they worked. And that didn’t even account for trying to just reach it. There were no convenient surfaces near the handle to stand on, so he spent most of those ten minutes just hopping up and down trying to reach it.

As he found himself clinging to the knob with all four limbs trying desperately not to slide off, he finally conceded this probably wouldn’t work.

Letting himself fall to the ground, he proceeded to sullenly slink to the rest of the apartment to search for an alternate route. He’d neglected to explore the apartment the previous day beyond the bathroom and the main living space, as he’d rather not look around a villain’s place too much. Beyond the whole “don’t intend to stay more than a day” thing, he didn’t really feel keen on the “invasion of privacy” thing. The man might be technically a villain, but honestly, Shouta viewed him as more of a nuisance than dangerous.

After checking the window in the living room and confirming it would be even more of a hassle to open than the front door, he reluctantly turned his attention to the bedroom. The door was half-closed, and he felt apprehensive as he crept towards it because, again, invasion of privacy. He’d only sat outside the door that morning because Mic was being noisy and he was curious. He hadn’t been able to see a window then, but there could be one on the wall outside his view, and if he got lucky it would be open. So he nudged open the door, looking around, and—

............

That was a lot of Eraserhead merchandise.

Shouta just stared at the collection of posters and other objects in the corner where two dressers met, as if staring would make it disappear or somehow become... something else. Anything else. But nope, it all stayed in place, from the folded shirt to the homemade banner with ‘ERASERHEAD’ written in large English letters.

I don’t even HAVE merchandise. What the actual hell. Those looked like replicas of his capture weapon and goggles, though the color was slightly off, and... Was that a plushie of him? Hopping onto one of the dressers and prodding at the small doll curiously, he confirmed it was, indeed, a hand-made plushie of him.

Mic returned several hours later to Sprinkles pawing at Shouta as he hid under the couch. Mic, naturally, just assumed Shouta was spooked and proceeded to spend about half an hour trying to coax him out. Shouta pointedly ignored his cooing and just remained curled up in the safe embrace of the darkness, wishing desperately he could unsee what he had seen.

Day three of being a cat. Shouta had finally emerged from his spot under the couch to dine on more sardines, having resumed his usual cool demeanor after the initial shock and embarrassment at seeing the shrine. What shrine? Shouta saw absolutely no hand-made plushies or other merchandise of himself, Mic’s room was absolutely normal. Well, as normal as a bedroom belonging to Present Mic could be.

More important than nonexistent merchandise, he was starting to wonder if the Quirk had a time limit. Was he doomed to be forever a cat? No, no, he’d give it a week before he started to panic. A lot of long-lasting Quirks had a week-long time limit, there was no reason to assume it didn’t have a limit. No need to freak out just yet—

What was that spot?

Shouta froze, transfixed by a yellowish dot moving on the floor next to him. Gaze following it intently, he tentatively slapped his paw over it, only for it to appear on top of it. He blinked in mild surprise, and when he withdrew his paw the spot didn’t move with it instead, remaining in the exact place on the floor.

Had he been human he would have frowned at it, so for now he settled for squinting. What is this thing? After a few seconds the weird spot moved away and bounced in a small circle along the tile floor. Eyes narrowing, he slowly crept towards it and pounced again, only for it to once more appear atop his paw.

Another confused blink, and he quickly retreated, circling it warily. He slowly reached out to tap it, watching the spot overlap with his dark fur before quickly withdrawing his paw. Nearby he heard Mic give a soft giggle, which he chose to ignore as he inspected the spot more thoroughly. Obviously it wasn’t a bug, or even anything physical.

Is it a light? he thought. It was the most reasonable explanation. But what kind of yellow light is that small and able to move like that? The only light he could think of were—wait.

Shouta abruptly froze as the spot zoomed away, just staring into space as gears clicked into place in his mind.

Did I seriously fall for a laser pointer? he thought in disbelief. Another soft giggle from Mic drew his attention to the blond, and he confirmed his suspicion instantly upon seeing him pointing a pen-like device towards the wall. His left hand pressed against his mouth as he watched the two cats from a distance, an amused smile peeking through his fingers.

I fell for a laser pointer, Shouta mentally reiterated in mild shock.

In his defense, his new eyes had a more limited range of color so he couldn’t exactly tell the light was red. Had he been able to see its color, he would’ve made the connection right away. Somehow, his newfound red-green colorblindness had slipped his mind with everything else going on. Come to think of it, that hideous shirt Mic wore yesterday might not actually be that hideous. Huh.

As Shouta stared at him Mic’s smile faded, his hand lowering from his mouth as he frowned. He looked kind of... disappointed? Shouta blinked, briefly confused by the change in expression, until he saw the laser zoom past his paws again. Oh. Mic was still trying to play with him. Yeah, Shouta got pretty dejected too when his own cat lost interest.

As he watched Mic’s shoulders slump he felt a twinge of guilt, and decided to take pity on the man. He abruptly spun and pounced onto the light, the laser bouncing wildly as Mic startled. As the laser swerved away and Shouta chased after it, he snuck a glance at Mic to find him grinning brilliantly, his eyes sparkling. That looked much better than the sad look he’d been sporting.

Shouta was only doing this because he was bored. Cats had very limited options for mental stimulation, it was only logical to take advantage of a distraction when he had the chance. The fact it made Mic happy had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.

Day four of being a cat.

Shouta was learning more about Mic than he ever wanted to, and not just because he was forced to inhabit the same space as the man. No, Mic had apparently decided that cats made perfect receptacles for venting.

Shouta felt ready for a villain to burst through the wall and end his misery now as Mic laid on his bed, venting to him in a manner eerily reminiscent a teenage girl. The comparison was more apt than Shouta expected actually, given the man’s obsession with appearances and melodramatic tendencies in his villain persona. He kind of reminded him of an unholy fusion of Ashido and Jirou.

So far he’d heard everything. Rants about the awful music selection played at the convenience store on the way to his job. The atrocious battery life of his cell phone and the hassle of carrying a charger everywhere. The apartment manager who always drew out and loudly over-enunciated her words after she first noticed his hearing aids, making it even harder to understand her (actually a valid grievance, Shouta admitted).

And Shouta just sat there with a grumpy look, trying to convey his utter lack of interest through his sour glare. Part of him contemplated just leaving, but he had actually been quite comfortable sitting on this pillow before Mic came in and flopped onto the bed with an exasperated, “You won’t believe the day I’ve had!” Aside from the noise, this pillow was still quite comfortable, much moreso than the couch, which was worn enough he could feel the springs creak under his weight. So he just tried to ignore the venting.

It was not as easy as he hoped.

“—And then there’s my shitty job—god I hate that place!” the blond muttered, poking Shouta’s ear. His ear twitched away from the touch, just squinting at him with disdain. You seem to hate a lot of places, he thought sarcastically. “They treat me like shit!” Most “villains” would try destroy a place if they really hated it that much.

“It’s all just so horrible!” the blond finished with a dramatic groan, while Shouta watched on with absolutely no sympathy. Screw this, the couch is lumpy but at least it’s quiet there. He was about to get up and leap away when the blond perked up, a bright smile lighting up his face. “But y’know what makes everything better?”

No, what? Shouta thought sarcastically, knowing he’d find out either way.

“Eraserhead!” Wait what? Shouta tensed at the mention of his name, staring wide-eyed and starting to feel rising panic as Mic began gushing about him. “Seeing him always makes me so much happier!” Okay, he really should have seen this coming, since the villain was pretty overt about his romantic intentions towards Shouta in... literally every encounter they had. “He’s my boyfriend y’know? Sooo cute!” Wait, wait, what—no, back up!! We’re not dating— “He kicks my ass a lot but only ’cuz that’s his job!”

Don’t say it like! That makes it sound like an abusive relationship!! A distressed hiss nearly escaped Shouta, but it was silenced by the all-consuming panic and embarrassment that had gripped him. Mic had a dreamy-looking smile on his face, his eyes almost glittering as he loudly proclaimed, “I love him a lot!”

Oh my god. He really IS a teenage girl. Shouta felt like he was watching a disaster movie play out in real time, and in a way he was. The disaster that was Mic’s delusional take of their relationship. Did this idiot even understand how healthy relationships worked!? Why do you even love me so much!?

Maybe his feline features were more expressive than he thought, or maybe Mic was just in a mood to gush over him, because the blond gave a dreamy sigh and proceeded to elaborate.

“Man, you should see him in action. He’s so graceful and agile, like a cat.” More literally than you know right now, Shouta thought sullenly. “And he totally doesn’t back down even if the other guy’s, like, ten times his size!” That would be a sixty-foot-tall person, Mic. That would be unrealistic and just makes me sound reckless. “And he manages to take them down with nothing but his skills and his awesome scarf!” I wish I could take down a sixty-foot-tall giant with just that.

“And plus, he totally punched a reporter in the face this one time!” Mic continued, and that one admittedly caught Shouta’s attention. Usually people highlighted that incident as a bad one, not a good quality. “It’s just, there’s so many heroes out there who only seem to care about the press, y’know?

“Don’t get me wrong, I love big and flashy stunts as much as the next guy—I mean, as long as I’m not, you know, actually facing All Might myself, haha, oh thank god he’s retired now and that won’t ever happen—but some of them just feel... hollow.” Mic waved his hand with a vague frown. muttering. “Like, they do it more for the cameras than a feeling of doing good, I guess?

“But Eraserhead,” he breathed with a small smile, rolling onto his side to gaze at the totally nonexistent shrine as he rambled, “He doesn’t care about that stuff. He’s willing to put his life on the line to save everyone! Hell, that poster of him over there” which does not exist “doesn’t show it, but he has this big scar under his eye. Like this, see?”

He twisted his torso to face Shouta again and traced a crescent-shaped line under his right eye, mirroring the one currently visible on Shouta’s face at that very moment, seriously how dense could a guy be!? “And you know how he got it?” Mic asked, and yes, he did. It was hard to forget having his face slammed into the pavement and ground against it by a Noumu while his students were watching nearby—

“He got it protecting his students, barely even a full week after meeting them.”

The sheer reverence in Mic’s voice silenced any snarky internal commentary, Shouta just blinking slowly. Any lingering traces of the dopey smile had faded by this point, replaced by a more serious look he rarely saw on the blond. “Eraserhead almost died then. I heard he was lucky to even still be able to see. I sent him a card of course, and took over his patrol route for him until he got better,” wait, was THAT why there wasn’t a massive spike in crime while he was gone, “but man, it was such a close call...”

He sighed, letting his head flop back onto the mattress as he stared into space. “It’s just... He went to work expecting a normal day, and instead he ended up facing a giant ambush of, like, two dozen guys or more. And he just went in anyway, knowing he’d probably die. And that—that takes a lot of guts. Guts, and heart.”

Shouta remained silent, just... staring at him. Slowly he slumped atop the pillow and rolled onto his side, staring into space. He had a lot to think about now.

Night four of being a cat. Shouta was currently in Mic’s bed. Repeat: Shouta was currently in Mic’s bed.

Don’t move, he silently commanded himself, staring wide-eyed into the darkness as he remained perfectly still. At some point after listening to Mic confess his undying love he’d fallen asleep, and apparently Mic had taken it as invitation to use him as a teddy bear. The sleeping blond had one arm tossed over Shouta essentially trapping him in place, the hero-turned-feline pressed close to his front. By “close”, he meant he could feel Mic’s breaths tickle the fur on his ears, feel his steady heartbeat against his back.

Had he been human Shouta would probably be blushing right now. Actually, he might still be doing so underneath the thick fur judging by how warm his face felt. This was the most intimately close he’d gotten to another person in... well, ever. Aizawa Shouta was not a tactile person by any means. ...But even with his limited experience he’d never been this physically close to someone.

They were sharing a pillow, for crying out loud!

Part of him wanted to worm his way out and abscond to the couch, pretending this never happened, but... at the same time, he didn’t really want to move. Mic’s body felt so warm. The arm draped over Shouta didn’t feel heavy, but instead oddly comforting. The rhythm of Mic’s heartbeat and the steady rising and falling of his chest gently pushed against his back, providing a silent lullaby that put him strangely at ease.

This was so illogical. Mic was a villain—well, more of a public nuisance, but still—Shouta shouldn’t feel so safe around him. But something about being pressed so close to the blond, half-covered by the blankets and with his head laying against the surprisingly soft pillow, just filled him with an odd sense of contentment.

He could feel Mic shift in his sleep, unconsciously pulling Shouta just a little bit closer. “Soft,” he mumbled, the word slurred and quiet, barely recognizable, yet still full of a deep fondness that tugged at Shouta’s heart. He exhaled slowly before closing his eyes, willing the tension to fade from his body as he curled a little closer to Mic.

Just one night won’t be too bad. I just need to make sure he never finds out I’m the cat.

Day five of being a cat. Shouta took back anything nice he ever said about Mic.

“How do you like your new bowtie Puddles?” Mic asked enthusiastically, hugging a very unenthusiastic Shouta with a giant grin.

“Mow,” he replied dejectedly. This is the worst thing I’ve had to endure in my entire life.

“I agree!” Mic proclaimed cheerfully.

“Mow.” No, you don’t, or you wouldn’t be doing this to me.

Now that he was aware of his current colorblindness, Shouta had no idea what the bow tie actually looked like, but he didn’t think any color scheme could make it look less tacky. It had polka dots. Nemuri might claim Shouta had a horrific fashion sense (not that he cared enough to agree or disagree), but even he acknowledged that a polka dot bowtie was the epitome of stupid looking.

Sprinkles mewed loudly as she pawed at Mic’s leg, blinking up at them with those large green eyes of hers. Similar to Shouta, she also wore a bowtie, this one a sparkly sequined thing that might be either green or pink. Unlike him, Mic positioned it so the bow was on the back of her neck, which Shouta found to be a perfectly practical and overall lovely choice for a female cat. Clearly she was used to being dressed up, as she made no fuss over it.

“What’s that, Sprinkles?” Mic asked, bending down and finally releasing Shouta from his hold. Shouta promptly began tugging at the bowtie with his paw, silently cursing his lack of opposable thumbs to aid in removing it. His tiny toes couldn’t get a good enough grip to do anything but pat it, much to his dismay.

While he sulked over that Mic held out his arms, Sprinkles jumping into his hold without further prompting. As she did her poofy tail coincidentally whacked Shouta in the face, making him jolt and sneeze. He shot her a sour look, while Mic just laughed as he swept her up and hugged her to his chest. “Hey, you did that on purpose, didn’t you?” he accused playfully. The white feline meowed and bumped her head against his chin, eyes sliding shut as she purred.

The accusation made Shouta’s eyes narrow, his glare growing harsher. Mic snickered at his expression before turning his attention back to Sprinkles, his grin softening to something more gentle and fond. “I get what you’re doing. You’re just jealous of all the attention I’m giving Puddles, aren’t you?” He adjusted his grip to scratch her chin and Sprinkles seemed to melt in his arms at the attention, a look of pure bliss on her face. “But you don’t need to be jealous. You’re still my adorable sweetheart.”

As he watched the pair Shouta felt his ire melt away, replaced by a sense of peace and contentment. The love and adoration in Mic’s face as he gazed down upon Sprinkles was nothing but genuine, the relaxed slump to her body an indication of total trust and happiness.

A guy who cares about cats that much can’t be that bad, he thought to himself quietly.

Half an hour later, he rescinded that thought when Mic posed with him and Sprinkles, all three wearing matching hats and bowties as he tried to angle his phone for a good selfie. He silently vowed to get his paws on that phone and dump it in the toilet as soon as he had the chance.

Day six of being a cat.

Mic had returned from his job a few minutes prior, which was just as well since Shouta had unfortunately confirmed that operating a laser pointer without thumbs was hard. He had a feeling Sprinkles had been more frustrated by the erratic movement and blinking of the dot than usual during his attempts to play with her. At some point she’d clocked onto Shouta as being the source of her frustration, because she had decided to ignore the laser in favor of jumping at him.

“Wow, you two did a lot of roughhousing today, huh?” Mic asked as he sat on the floor with Sprinkles in his lap, running a brush through her fur. Strands of black had gotten mixed into her otherwise pristine white coat, the usually fluffy and silky texture more ruffled and messy from their small wrestling match. Shouta himself looked no better; he could see white furs spot his paws, almost seeming to glow against his own pitch black coat.

He had taken refuge atop a cabinet in the far corner to get away from Sprinkles, and now took advantage of his vantage point to just... observe them. Mic clearly brushed Sprinkles often judging by her reaction. She purred contently as he gently dragged the brush along her head, her ears briefly flattening beneath the bristles before popping back into their usual perky position. She leaned into the strokes, arching her back slightly while her cheek rubbed against his chest.

The sheer love in Mic’s expression was visible to anyone, his smile so much softer than Shouta ever thought the loud and hyper man to be capable of. Plucking a few lingering strands of black fur, he set the brush down and lightly nudged her off his lap. Sprinkles hopped off his lap and strutted away, the blond watching with obvious fondness.

Those warm green eyes turned to Shouta, making him stiffen. “Okay, your turn,” he said, patting his lap invitingly. When Shouta didn’t move he got up and walked over, stopping next to the cabinet. “Come on, time to get down.”

“...Mrow,” Shouta responded in a surprisingly meek way. I would, but I’m kinda stuck, he thought sheepishly. Climbing the cabinet had been one thing, but now that he was on top of it... well, the drop to the floor looked much higher than he thought.

This is so illogical, he thought sulkily. As a human he’d made plenty of larger jumps (with the support of his capture weapon of course), but as a cat the drop seemed a lot bigger. He also lacked the fine-tuned reflexes and familiarity with his body he’d developed from years of training with it, so he felt considerably less confident about his ability to safely jump from such a height without hurting himself in some way.

Mic seemed to pick up on his unease, a small frown settling on his face. “Hey, Puddles, are you nervous?” he asked. “Here, come on, just hop on down. I’ll catch you, okay?” He held out his arms, and Shouta blinked, slow and catlike. Seriously? He was asking a cat to jump into his arms? The rational part of him scoffed, since he knew a normal cat wouldn’t be able to understand such a thing.

But... the less rational, cat-loving part of him, understood. How many times had he tried to coax a cat to jump down from a branch, to leap right into his open arms, logic be damned? Seeing that earnest look on the blond’s face, the encouraging little smile silently asking him to trust him... It made something feel content in Shouta’s chest.

And so, he jumped.

His jump was clumsy and awkward, his mobility just as hindered by his lack of familiarity with this body as he suspected. One of his hind paws ended up catching on the edge of the cabinet, turning a would-be graceful leap into a fumbling tumble. Mic shot forward and caught him, the drop to his arms nowhere near as long as it would be to the floor.

Shouta blinked dumbly as he stared up at the blond, cradled almost like an infant. He had a perfect view of the blond’s smile, relief clear in his face. “Oof! Almost slipped there! Don’t worry though, I got ya buddy.” He carried Shouta over to where he’d left the brush and sat on the floor, rolling Shouta onto his stomach with the feline settled in his lap. He picked up the brush and pulled off the fur already caught in the bristles before he began running it through Shouta’s fur, the strokes light and gentle.

Shouta tensed, memories of painful attempts to brush his own hair flashing through his mind. Tugging his brush through particularly bad knots sometimes felt just as painful as getting slammed into the wall by a villain, and he didn’t look forward to feeling it all over his body. To his surprise the strokes were light and gentle though, each one strangely soothing, and—dare he say it... nice.

He practically melted in Mic’s lap as the bristles stroked through his thick fur, Mic using his free hand to pluck individual white furs that the brush couldn’t capture. “I bet you’ve never been brushed before, have you?” he mused aloud. “You look like you’ve lived your whole life on the streets, you poor thing. Don’t worry though, those days are over.”

Shouta gave a throaty hum, his eyelids sliding shut. It was exactly the kind of thing he had told his own cat when he’d first brought her home, some distant part of his mind noted. He didn’t know how much time passed with Mic brushing him, his mind slipping into a content haze.

It felt like all too soon Mic finished, setting the brush down. He didn’t nudge Shouta off just yet like he did with Sprinkles though, instead pulling Shouta into a small hug. The mellow haze which had consumed his senses lifted slightly at that, a single golden eye peeking open as he felt the blond scratch his ear.

“Hard to believe it’s been a little under a week since I found you.” Mic had a gentle smile as he stared down at Shouta, his eyes soft and lidded. “It already feels like you’ve been part of the family a lot longer.” His hand fell away from Shouta’s head, joining his other arm to wrap around him in a slightly tighter hug. “It might be silly, but I’m glad you’re here—it gets quite lonely at times. Pathetic, I know.”

The blond gave a self-deprecating chuckle while Shouta just sat in his arms, staring forward blankly. Right now, he could feel nothing but pure love radiating from Mic, his genuine and powerful fondness for what he believed to be a normal cat quite evident despite only knowing “Puddles” for less than a week. And hearing him call himself pathetic so easily didn’t sit right with Shouta.

Before he knew it he’d twisted in Mic’s hold and bumped his head against the man’s chest, purring lowly as he rubbed his head against him. He could feel the blond perk up, sitting a little straighter. “Oh! You’re a cuddly kitty!”

Shouta just kept purring, eyes sliding shut as he felt the blond gently scratch his back.

This, he thought distantly, was contentment. This was happiness. Just being in the arms of someone who cared about you, and showing you cared about them back, even if just a little.

Maybe being stuck as a cat wasn’t so bad after all.

Morning seven found Shouta rousing to consciousness slowly, his eyes feeling crusted shut and refusing to open. His muscles felt notably more sore than they had the past week, making him groan lowly and curl up a little tighter. Ugh, stupid cat body... He forced his eyes to blink open, and for a moment he was confused.

Doesn’t the room seem a bit... brighter? He frowned, squinting blearily at the shrine (not a shrine, what shrine, those were just random posters of a random guy who happened to resemble him) which seemed a bit more colorful than he remembered. The sand crusting his eyes made it hard to focus, and he reached a hand to rub it away before pausing. Wait a minute, is my hand human?

Behind him Hizashi slowly stirred to consciousness as the mattress shifted, a distant part of his mind registering it dip heavily to the side. A sleepy little moan slipped past his lips, barely audible to even the keenest ears, his eyes drowsily fluttering open to see something dark and furry in front of his face.

Puddles? he thought hazily, but as his vision came into focus his still-drowsy mind quickly registered that it was not his feline. No, it was the back of a human head, a man sitting up on the other side of his bed. A flash of peach near the blankets drew his eyes to an arm with a starburst-shaped scar on the elbow, the blanket falling slightly as the man lifted his torso and wait his back was totally bare, holy shit this guy’s totally naked and he’s in my bed. Any lingering drowsiness vanished instantly as he bolted upright.

“What the fuck!?” Hizashi screamed as he bolted upright, Quirk unconsciously activating in his shock.

Shouta flinched and sat straight up, his hair whipping around his face in the voice-fueled blast of wind as he gripped the blanket against his chest. Well, the Quirk finally wore off at least. Okay, he doesn’t have his glasses yet. Hopefully he won’t be able to recognize you and you can just run before he gets them—

“Wait, wha—ERASERHEAD!?”

So much for that. As Mic’s voice devolved into a high-pitched squeak of horror Shouta rubbed at his eyes with a quiet groan, doing his best to ignore the sudden silence that fell over the room. After a few seconds past he turned his head slightly to look at the blond, finding him staring at him with an ashen look of shock and disbelief, mouth open but for once producing absolutely no noise. Only took waking up next to me in bed to finally get him to shut up.

“So,” Shouta said awkwardly. “Got any pants I could borrow?”

#erasermic #aizawa shouta #aizawa x hizashi #yamada hizashi #mha #fanfic #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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bluejaytaco · 4 years

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Jay plays DND Part...4?

(Losing track of how many of these were done. Also, this one’s hella long)

So, recent session was Art at his finest.

We are now up to a part with two generals. One of them is Art’s sister, Rieta (Known as General Pink). Her mind is completely broken to the point of making her basically a beast-like berserker. The second general is Orange, who Art has taken to calling “General Fedora.” He is the definition of a neckbeard mixed with r/iamverysmart.

But his ability is to take the will away from opponents and control them like puppets. And, when Art tried to get Rieta away from him, Orange showed off said abilities. By taking control of Art, Theodora(Paladin and Team leader) and Hennessy(Wizard.) We had to attack Koejin(Ranger) and our new barbarian gnome, Wreybar, then roll to see if we could break the spell. This is how it went down:

Me: So, I’m gonna cast Vicious Mockery.

DM, knowing me too well: You remember the rule for that, right?

Me(Agreed that I have to insult for real to use it:) Yeah, I know...

DM: Go ahead then.

Me: I look at Koejin and say, “Hey, Drunkie. You gonna attack or just stand there looking stupid?”

Koejin’s player: Woooooow...... Not gonna lie, that stings a little.

DM: Watch Art snap out of the spell and go “Hey Drunkie, fuck you.... I’m sorry....”

(He didn’t snap out of it. Hennessy did after Koejin cast Fog cloud so we couldn’t see.)

Hennessy: Okay, I’m going to cast Charm person on Theodora and Art.

Theodora’s roll: *Passes*

My Roll: *Fails*

DM: Okay, so Theodora just brushes it off. Art now has two controlling spells fighting in his head. He wants to listen to Orange and fight you, but also really doesn’t want to hurt Hennessy because of the charm. So there’s a back and forth where he is extremely conflicted. Then Art feels a burn from Ticket Master’s ring on his finger and he passes out.

Me: So Ticket Master just kinda goes “Sleep.”

DM: Pretty much.

Art, in game: Alright, imma head out... *passes out face first in the dirt*

Theodora rolls and breaks free from the spell on the following turn. In this time, Koejin had followed a mysterious figure out of the fog to where Orange was trying to run off with Pink in tow. (Sidenote: Pink had been ordered to attack us and Meatball, a giant t-rex who we befriended, had stepped in the way. Meatball has the sigil of the BBEG on his leg.)

When he sees we’ve broken the spell, he tries to sic Pink on them again but she runs off into the woods. Art woke up shortly after, demanded to know where his sister was then tried to take off after her. (He was stopped by the mystery person.)

Me: Alright so, being that Art can’t follow Rieta, he turns and storms up to Orange.

DM, knowing Art is weak as shit physically: Does he attack him?

Me: Of course not. He grabs him and goes “Listen here, you little shit. You’re going to give us the fucking stone or we’re gonna beat it out of you.”

DM: Roll for intimidation.

Art: *Hella intimidating with a 17*

DM: Alright, so Orange is shaking as Art grabs him by the shirt and kinda shakes him a little. He puts his hands up and goes “I couldn’t if I wanted to! The stone’s in my head!”

Art: We could fix that.

Everyone readying their weapons behind Art.

Koejin: Nothing a little surgery can’t handle.

As we’re all discussing how to best take care of this, there’s a buzz in Theodora’s pocket. It’s the future leader of Acentria saying “Remember: don’t kill anyone!”

Theodora: Ah, shit... Guys... we can’t do this.

Everyone else: *sputtering different words of disappointment because we’re all children of chaotic stupid*

Hennessy then charmed Orange into telling us how the stone got in in the first place. Orange says he doesn’t know, just one day he was asked if he wanted to be a general. I said “okay” then I woke up with a stone in my head.

Art: Maybe... if we take him to Thia (The future leader) we can use her stone to pull out this one... like a magnet.

Orange: You can do whatever you want, just keep that thing away from me. *points at Wreybar.* Gnomes freak me out. That’s why I had Pink destroy the village.

Wreybar: You’re the face I saw in the flames! I thought I recognized you! You’re dead! *goes to attack but is stopped by our new mystery ally* Let me at ‘im!

Orange: No... Pink wanted to do it. Cuz gnomes are so gross...

Art: First of all, racist. Secondly, whaaaaaaaaaat???

Orange: she’s a bloodthirty monster. She wanted to kill them.

Art: Uhhhh, no. Not true. Nope. (Super denial about his sister being a murderhobo)

So, then we start discussing how to get everyone and a t-rex back to the bar where Thia is currently stationed.

Theodora: If Green were here, we could teleport...

Art:...... well, we do know.... someone else.... who can teleport...

Everyone turned to Art. It took them all a moment to realize who he was talking about before out came a collective groan.

Koejin: Didn’t we all agree we wouldn’t trust him?

Art, still hella thirsty for the D: No.

Koejin: No. We’re not asking Ticket Master.

DM: Once Koejin says the name, Ticket Master appears with a boom box on his shoulder and says “did someone say my name?”

Koejin and Theodora both start talking about this “Website that rips people off” to which Art just kinda looks at them in confusion and goes “what’s a website?” I imagine someone pushed him back so he wasn’t really heard.

We continued to discuss different ways to get everyone back to Thia. The train is mentioned once but we can’t get meatball onto the train. Ticket Master speaks up again only to get Koejin’s hand in his face as we talk. The idea them comes from out Mystery friend.

General Green can be used to teleport, but he’s a lich who feeds off knowledge. If someone was willing to give up their intelligence temporarily, he could get us back and forth then return to “death” shortly after.

Art:...I’ll do it.

Everyone else: *Ignoring him to talk about how no one wants to do it*

DM, the only one who heard him: Didn’t Art just say he would?

Art: Yeah. I mean, why not? He’ll have all my knowledge right?

DM: Yep.

Art: And he’s a genius. Which means he could connect dots I haven’t been able to. So, hook me up.

DM: Mystery woman pulls out one of Green’s threads and snaps it into the back of Art’s head. You are down to -2 on intelligence and Art is a bumbling idiot.

Art: *just kinda staring off into space*...*Sees Green when he appears* you look tired.

Green, who just wants to die: Yeah.

Art:...you should take a nap.

Green: What’s going on? Why’s Art a- *notices the thread* oh.

Everyone catches Green up on the situation and Art tries to help in the most unhelpful way possible. Green then opens a portal for everyone which is much clearer than it was the last time we used a portal.

Hennessy: ...wow, Art, you are really smart....

Art:...there was a dog... dogwoof.

(This part was hard because I wanted to actually help but the DM kept having to remind me Art was pretty much useless so I had to struggle with words and just be stupid.)

Right before we were all supposed to leave (because BBEG was on her way) Hennessy took the opportunity to whisk his NPC boyfriend into the shop in order to propose, which also ended in Hennessy getting laid. Koejin was pissed they were wasting time.

DM: Everyone outside can hear Vincent’s moaning.

Art: Why is he hurting that poor man?!

Koejin, still pissed off: Yeah, Art. This isn’t right that he’s doing this. We should leave him!

Art: Yeah, he seems mean :(! *makes no attempt to go near the portal*

Koejin’s player: Jay has been waiting for this opportunity to make Art a fucking idiot.

Me: Damn right!

So everyone walks through the portal and appears right in front of the bar. Once we all walk through the portal, Green flicks Art in the forehead and disconnects, which kills him instantly. Art then has a headache and now has a disadvantage on intelligence rolls for the foreseeable future.

Thia’s already outside of the bar, talking to people about her plans to change the world. We approach her with Orange and tell her the situation.

Thia, happy to see a living general: You’re actually not killing people!

Theodora: We’ve been trying not to!

Hennessy: Yeah, we have saved more than we killed!

Art: *counting the bodies and deciding it’s probably best to keep his mouth shut*

Thia puts the stone to Orange’s head and, for a moment, nothing happens. Then, it bursts out of his skull, splattering brain matter all over and gets absorbed into Thia’s stone.

Thia, shocked: .....I just killed that guy....

Art: No, No you didn’t. It was the stone, you had no control-

Orange, clearly not all there:... what’re you guys talking about....? I...I feel fine...

Art: He’s still alive!

Thia: Can you really call that living?!

Art: uhhhh, sure!

Thia:... we should get him healed. Everyone, come in. We can talk about everything inside.

So, we all head to the bar where Meatball is being put up right on the side. Koejin, who had a drink that gave her truesight, saw that Meatball is actually a dragonborn named Eltbalm; the lover of BBEG (Mrs. Red) Koejin has the hots for Eltbalm so she decides to hang out with him.(He’s still unconscious)

Art: But...it’s a bar.... also, sorry about that “Drunkie” comment before. I didn’t mean it.

Koejin: Yeah you did.

Art:... No, but-

Theodora, throwing her arm around Art’s shoulder: Art, Art, Art, Art.... Shut the fuck up.

Art and the others go into the bar, leaving Koejin. In a previous session, we saved a bunch of kids from Green’s spire and now they spend most of their time at the bar, where Meatball was watching them. When they see him, they all run up to hug him and cry around him.

DM: Koejin, you notice one child is missing.

Me:.... is it the tiefling boy?

DM: It is the tiefling boy.

Koejin, to one of the kids: Hey, where’s your little tiefling friend?

The kid: His mom came to pick him up.

Koejin:... uh... guys?!?!

A message is sent between Koejin and Alabaster to relay the information. Art, hearing that “mom” picked up this supposed orphan child, immediately flips out on the bartender that let him leave with her and demands to know how long ago she came. He bolts for the door.

DM: When Art goes to run out the door, he runs into someone’s chest. It’s Ticket Master.

Art: Shit... Hi.

Ticket Master: Oh, hello! You guys kinda left without me!

Art: Right, yeah. Did you see a tiefling go through here?

Ticket Master: You mean your sister? Yes! I brought her here since you missed her.

Art: *trying so hard to process the feelings going through him* Did you see... where she went?

Ticket Master: Yes, she went that way. *arrows appear to point in every direction*

Art: Wow, you’re useless!... (Hennessy: Is this what marriage is gonna be like?!) Is there anyway for you to tell me where she went.

Ticket Master: Sure! But I need something...

Art: Okay?

Ticket Master: From her. *points at Koejin*

Art, suddenly very tense: ...Why her?

Ticket Master: Because I’ve already gotten everything I’ve wanted out of you.

Art:....fucker....

Ticket Master, ignoring Art: So, Koejin...?

Koejin:.... I want you.... to leave.

Ticket Master:...*shrugs* Okay. *Just walks away*

Art, in his head: yeah, that’s not gonna come back to bite us.

Koejin is then reminded of the fact that she has tracking skills and a bloodhawk(named Pirate) for situations just like this. She seems slightly... put off by the idea.

Koejin: I’m not risking Pirate safety.

Art: Pirate can fly. Rieta can’t. He’ll be fine.

Koejin: Right... Pirate, look for General Pink and the kid. But keep your distance.

DM: Pirate flies onto Art’s shoulder, rips out a piece of his hair and eats it. Then, he flies off and searches the area until he lands on the roof of a small house in the woods. He perches there and caws loudly.

We all ran into the woods to the house to find it was boarded up. None of the panels were missing so it wasn’t a break in. We all think of the best way to do this.

Koejin: Someone could go in there.

Art: I could sneak in. My stealth is pretty high.

Koejin: Yeah... should let the stealthy tiefling go in... I’m gonna come too. I’m pretty stealthy.

(Koejin and Art are now Stealth Buddies.)

DM: So, you sneak in and it’s dark. Koejin, you can see shadows and movement. Art, you see Pink standing over a body. She has something dripping from her mouth.

Art, stunned, uses sending so they don’t make a noise: So, don’t freak out.... but I think Rieta killed a kid....

Koejin, message back:.... cooooool.... so, what do we do?

Art: *just staring at the situation*

DM: Neither of you smell blood so there’s that.

Koejin’s player: I wouldn’t even know what blood smells like right off the bat.

Me and the DM, in unison: Koejin would.

Koejin’s player: Right. *laughs* Art’s hand.

Koejin moved for a chair to get closer and hide behind. Art, being the beautiful suicidal dumbass he is, goes the opposite direction to get to the other side of Pink.

DM: Koejin, you slip over to the chair without making a sound. Art, when you take a step, your foot lands on a board that creaks and gives you away. Pink snaps around to look at you. She is frothing; the kid is still alive and fine. She hasn’t done anything yet.

Art:... Hi, Rieta...

DM: When he sees Art, the kid calls out “Help me!” Pink grabs hold of the boy by the hair and lifts him off the floor.

Art: Nonononononononono.... Don’t do this. You don’t have to do this.

Koejin: *readies her bow from her position behind the chair, aimed for Pink’s wrist*

DM: All of you feel a sudden heat. Moments later, the door blows off it’s hinges and it’s Mrs. Red. She is pissed. She glares at Pink and yells “You killed my love.” Koejin, because of the truesight potion, you see Red’s face is that of a red dragon. Mrs. Red is a red dragon.

Koejin’s player: Oh shit!

DM: And we’ll end there for this week.

(This game is getting insane. Also, if you got all the way through this, thank you! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. There’s a lot of stuff left out from this just because it was already getting super long.)

#dnd #adventures of art the bard #tiefling #dnd bard #dnd barbarian #dnd ranger #dnd wizard #dnd paladin #homebrew characters #long post #Art and Koejin are forming this whole sibling dynamic and I am living for it #shut up jay

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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560

What's your favourite type of bird? I...‘ve never really had a favorite bird. How many friends do you have on Facebook? Good for you, I’m not feeling lazy to check tonight. 629. What was on the last sandwich you ate? This question was also in another recent survey I took haha. Ham and cheese. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? It was punk rock that mostly carried me through high school, but I also listened to some pop rock and alternative rock from time to time. Do you prefer gold or silver jewellery? Silver. I reeeeeeally am not into gold.

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? Yes. How far away is the closest store to your house and what is it? There’s a 7-11 and a drugstore just across the main gate of our village, but you have to take a u-turn to get there because it’s in the main highway.

What is your favourite Thai dish? Pad thai and green curry. How many contacts do you have in your phone? Too many. There was a time when I used Gab’s number to sign up for some stuff online so her contacts got synced to mine as well, so it doubled the amount of contacts on my phone. When was the last time you made out with somebody? Tuesday night. What month of the year was your mother born? September. Do you have any friends that seem to know all the hot gossip? Kate, but she graduated and she’s working now and not very gossip-y these days :’( Second to her would probs be Angela. Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? No, I don’t really spend on candles. What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? Just Friends. I want to continue watching Queer Eye, though. When was the last time you went to a birthday party? I’m not sure about birthday parties per se but the last celebration I went to was the birthday dinner Angela hosted at Frankie’s. How many apps do you have on your phone? Meh, I have quite a lot and now I’m too lazy to count. What pet names do you use with your significant other? I’ll take a pass at this question lol. Do you have to wear a name badge where you work? I don’t work but some college buildings are stricter about IDs than others, yeah. Do you have a dress code or have to wear a uniform where you work? There is no dress code in UP, which is one of the reasons it’s the best (and top) school in the country. What brand is your toaster, if you have one? We don’t have one because we wouldn’t really use it if we got one. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? I guess I am dating one now. Gab started vaping recently and I hopped on the same train not long after. LOOOOOOOOOOL I am such a CLOWN Are there any movies you've seen so many times? Two for the goshdang Road. And the first Twilight movie. What was the last thing you purchased with cash? Pad thai and this iced drink called choco coffee at a Thai food stall in school. I don’t usually treat myself to that much food but it was my last day of school before the 5-day weekend started, I had just finished a brutal workout in PE, and I just felt like I deserved some kind of reward. Can you hear anything right now? The whirring of the electric fan across me. Is there anybody else in the room you're currently in? Nope, just me. What's the name of the store you usually get your groceries? We don’t have a permanent grocery but my mom would typically go to SM groceries or in a local grocery called Freshto that’s really near our village. Would you rather travel to Japan or Scotland? Japan. Does your house have a porch/balcony? It originally had one, but we refurbished the balcony and turned it into my brother’s room. We still kept a part of the original balcony intact though because it’s where my dog got used to peeing, and we didn’t want him to lose that space. We might’ve lost the balcony but we still have a rooftop if we wanted a view. What's your usual order when you go to a coffee shop? It depends, because the coffee shops I usually go to each have different drinks that I like; like I’d get an iced caramel macchiato in Starbucks, an iced mocha from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, an iced hazelnut drink from this other local cafe we go to, etc. But I think in general, my security blanket is caramel macchiato. Have you ever seen a theatre show? Not a professionally-produced one. I’ve seen many recitals and amateur productions, though. What was the last movie you saw and who did you watch it with? El Camino. I watched it alone. What is your mother's first name? Abigail. Do you like to dance? Only when I’m super super super tipsy, haha. And even until then it’s still a hit-or-miss if I’ll end up dancing. It’s just not my thing, overall. What's your favourite type of bread? Brioche. Do you receive catalogues and brochures in your mailbox? As far as I know, we don’t.

What colour is the sky right now? Black. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Nope, my parents didn’t do that to us. We obviously all have the same maiden names, though. Have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area? No. Have you ever taken a ride in an ambulance? Nope, never happened. How would you label your sexual orientation? Demisexual, which is under the umbrella of asexuality. When was the last time you took a nap during the day? Just yesterday. What did you have to eat for dinner last night? I skipped dinner last night because of my toothache, so I stuck with the potato chips that my sister had bought that day but never got to finish. Have you ever been a member in a band? Nah, I never really wanted to be in a band. I wanted to learn the drums, but it didn’t mean I also wanted to have a band of my own. Are you double-jointed? I am not. What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee. Do you currently have any bruises on your body? Not right now, no. Or at least none that I know of. Who was the last message you received from and what did they say? “Impossibleeeeee” from Gab when I told her I saw someone selling AirPods for way cheap. They were selling it for P2,400 or something like $46 lmao it’s ridiculous. What colour are your eyes? Black. Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No I can’t. Do you consider your goals easily achievable or are they pretty grand? They’re pretty grand. What's your favourite kind of accent? You know how Claire Foy speaks in The Crown? That’s my faaaaavorite accent. What time does the sun go down where you live at this time of the year? By this time of the year, the sun sets preeeeeeetty dang early. It’s completely dark by 5:30 PM. Do you prefer beer, wine or spirits? Spirits, def. I hate the first two, especially beer. When was the last time you ate Mexican food? A couple of weeks ago. My mom has loved this Mexican place for ages and so we went there for lunch. Have you ever watched yourself on video? Of course. I think that’s pretty unavoidable by the time you’re 21, lmao. What time did you wake up today? I woke up at 11:30, probably because I took two painkillers the day before. What time will you go to sleep tonight? I have no clue. I still have an entire cup of coffee to finish, so we’ll see how that goes. Do you have separate emails for personal and business? Kinda? I use my personal email for social media stuff, and my school also provides us with our own emails for more academic, serious-y, professional matters, but not necessarily business. Are you the eldest, youngest or a middle child? I’m the eldest. What's your favourite vegetable? Broccoli. What colours are you wearing today? A grey sweater that’s like 4x my size. Do you have a subscription to any streaming services like Netflix? I use Netflix and Spotify but I’m not the one paying for both. Would you rather eat Italian or Indian food? Indian. Are you sitting, standing or lying down right now? I’m sitting up on the couch. Have you ever missed a flight? Nooooo no no my parents would make sure that never happens. Are you someone who always needs a coffee before you can function? No. I can do fine without coffee. Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them? I’m sure some of them do, but seeing as I don’t really talk to our neighbors, I obviously have never met their pets. When was the last time you washed your hair? This afternoon. What colour is your bedroom door? Brown. Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Yeah, I saw the super blue blood moon last year. Pretty fucking wicked. Do you know your significant other's passwords? I know the password to her laptop, but that’s it. What was the last thing you said aloud? “Nope, I’ll do it” I told my sister when she asked if I wanted her to turn off the AC in the living room. Do you know anyone who writes huge essays when they message you? Not really. People tend to type in short, quick messages when they wanna say something long haha. What's your favourite type of salad? Spicy tuna saladddddd.

#survey #surveys

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mamabearcat · 5 years

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Keys to her Heart - Chapter 4

This took me so long! I’m so sorry. It’s because I was writing about something I’d never physically done before, and I wanted to research it. Still not entirely sure I have everything correct, but I’m hoping for the best. Please let me know what you think! As always, you can also read this fanfic on my FanFiction or AO3 profiles - both are BearPlusCat too.

Natsu woke with a start, feeling something warm and wet rasp against his cheek. Struggling to open his eyes, he pushed out his hands and rolled, overbalancing and falling with a thud off the sofa onto the hardwood floor.

"Plue!", scolded Lucy, squatting down to the floor where Natsu lay sprawled, Plue still struggling to lick his cheeks as she pushed him away, "I know I said we were going to wake Natsu up, but this was not what I meant!"

Natsu sat up, rubbing the back of his head, yawning and tousling his disordered pink hair even further. He stretched his neck sideways, trying to get the kinks out. "G'morning Lucy."

"Hi…", said she nervously, holding out a cup of coffee. "I just made coffee. I wasn't sure if you liked it black, or…"

Natsu reached out for the cup, cradling his hands around the mug like it was worth its weight in gold. "No, black is good, coffee is wonderful". He took a big gulp and then sighed happily. "Thanks Luce".

"Um, I want to thank you, for last night", said Lucy hesitantly. "And for staying". She had woken up in her own bed, boots off but still in her clothes covered by the quilt, and had realised Natsu must have carried her to bed after she had fallen asleep. "I'm sorry to drop all that on you, I just…"

Natsu grinned up at Lucy from his cross-legged seat on the floor, then levered himself back up to sit on the sofa, carefully cradling his mug of steaming coffee. "Lucy, you don't have to apologise for anything. I'm happy that I could help." He sighed. "It's partly my fault anyway. If I'd known how tellin' you about Happy would affect you I never would a told you about him. At least not until you knew me better."

Lucy sat down next to him on the sofa with her own coffee, sitting sideways to face him and tucking one foot up under her thigh. "Actually, I'm grateful", she said softly, looking down at her cup. "For a long time, I've felt like there was something missing. I thought maybe I was just feeling grief over my father's death, but now that I know, I'd like to try and find that part of myself again". She sighed and gulped down a mouthful of her own coffee. "I don't know the first thing about how to do that though."

"Um, I might have an idea, if ya wanna try it", said Natsu. "I could take you to meet Cana. She helped me to help Happy find his voice, so she might be able to help you too."

When Lucy looked at him puzzled, he said "Happy used ta try and communicate just by knocks, which you saw last night, and then writing, but that just wore him out. Apparently, him moving physical objects is exhausting. Cana is a good friend who's into this kinda stuff, and she helped me work out how to hear him. Most of what he says is just annoying though."

Lucy watched as Natsu's head suddenly jerked sideways. "Oi, watch it buddy", growled Natsu, rubbing the pink locks at the side of his head. "Leave my hair alone. Just 'cause the truth hurts doesn't mean ya need to take it out on me ya furball!"

"So Happy's here?", asked Lucy looking around. She watched a few golden sparkles drift over towards her and felt a gentle tug on a long lock of hair that had come loose from her braid overnight.

A small giggle chimed in her ear and a high-pitched voice drawled mischievously, "He liiiiiikes you…"

A blush pushed it's way onto Lucy's cheeks. "Wha… don't say that, stupid cat!" She rubbed her cheeks and looked over towards Natsu, who was looking at her in astonishment.

"You heard him!", he whispered, and then shouted, "You heard Happy! You're amazing Luce. I've never met anyone like you!" He pulled the cup out of her hand, placing it on the coffee table and bent to pull her to her feet, whirling her around in a circle while she blustered, making incoherent spluttering noises. He plonked them both down on the sofa again. Lucy was still blushing.

"Is… is that the sort of stuff he usually says?", she said, finally getting a hold of herself.

Natsu grinned at her. "Yeah, that's the sort of stuff. He's a poltergeist. He likes teasing people, it's part of his nature. I've never known him to do anything mean or malicious though. Mostly it's bad practical jokes."

"Oh", was all Lucy had to say. She hoped she wasn't going to walk out the front door anytime soon and get drenched by a precariously balanced bucket of water. "So, no one else can hear him?"

"Nope", said Natsu, sculling the last of his coffee. "Listen Luce, I have to go home to check on Grandeeney right now, but if you want, I could come back later this morning to pick you up and take you back to your car. I'll call Gajeel and see if he could take a look at it this morning. He can be a bit of an ass, but he's very fair with his prices; I know he wouldn't rip you off."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" said Lucy, putting her hand over her mouth. "You shouldn't have stayed here and left Grandeeney alone! Please, go straight home and apologise to her for me. Will she be okay?"

"Nah, she's used to it; when I'm out on an emergency call or rostered on, she's home alone. And she knows she can always call Levy if she's worried. I texted her last night to let her know I was staying." He rubbed the back of his neck a little self-consciously. "Um, yeah. Be prepared for a little teasing about me staying here overnight with you. She'll leave you alone I think, but anything I do is fair game." He grinned at Lucy. "I don't mind so much anyway, keeps her young, and keeps me on my toes."

Lucy looked at him over the top of her coffee cup. "What sort of job do you have that you need to go out on an emergency call. Are you a paramedic Natsu?"

"Not exactly, although I can respond as a paramedic in emergencies, just to get someone stabilised. I'm a full-time firefighter for the station in Hall's Gully. And when I'm not out on a call, I have my own handyman business here in Magnolia, or I have my ghost tour. Jack of all trades, that's me!"

Lucy swallowed, her eyes flicking to Natsu's tanned muscular arms. 'A firefighter – well, that explains the muscles', she thought weakly.

"How on earth do you have time to be a full-time firefighter and a handyman?", she asked, struggling to understand how it worked.

"Ah, I do two 24-hour shifts a week back-to-back at the station", explained Natsu, and then seeing her wide-eyed look, he chuckled. "Not all of that is working, we're allowed to nap in the bunks at night, but we're on call. It also means I'm free the rest of the week, unless there's a huge emergency and they need extra manpower to cover it. So, did ya want me to come back and get ya Luce?"

Lucy thought for a moment, then nodded. "I'd like that. I really do need to get my car sorted out. Do you think Grandeeney would mind if I asked her some research questions later?" Natsu shook his head.

He grinned at her, pulling on his boots and checking his pockets for keys. "Nah, I think she'd love it."

Lucy looked at Natsu's face carefully. He seemed to be such an open person, with no hidden agenda. She still felt a little wary, but the way he had comforted her last night, without taking advantage of the situation in any way inspired a feeling of trust in her. She realised to her surprise, that she felt totally safe with him. She couldn't remember the last time that had happened.

"Um Natsu, if the offer was still open, do you think you could take me to see that place that we didn't get to see on the tour last night?"

"Caddock's Leap Lookout, you mean?" Lucy nodded.

Natsu rewarded her faith in him with one of his trademark grins. "I'd love to."

The air around them sparked with static electricity, and a small voice cackled. "He liiiiiikes you!"

Both of them turned at precisely the same moment and yelled at the seemingly empty space behind the sofa, "Shut up, Happy!"

"So you want me to climb down there?", Lucy said incredulously. She guessed it was about a hundred-foot drop to the valley floor, but hard to judge due to the large tree ferns and gum trees blocking her view; that and the fact she wasn't game to get too get too close to the edge of the sandstone cliff to get a better view. She was all for getting more up close and personal with nature but breaking her neck by falling over a cliff wasn't something on her to do list for today.

"We don't have to if you don't wanna", said Natsu with a cheerful grin. "It's totally up to you."

True to his word, Natsu had come back to collect her at Rose Cottage after going back home to check on Grandeeney. It had given Lucy a chance to take her dog Plue for a run and have a much-needed shower and breakfast. By the time Natsu returned mid-morning, Lucy was showered and dressed in jeans and a jumper, with boots and backpack ready at the front door of the little cottage. After letting him in, she hurried back up the hallway with her laptop, notes and a small wooden box, her sock covered feet sliding on the polished hardwood floor.

"Hey, settle down, where's the fire?" joked Natsu. "There's no rush Luce." He held up his hand and began pointing at his own fingers, ticking tasks for the day off. "Gajeel said he could take a quick look at your car when everyone meets at Fairytail tonight and give you a quote then. Grandeeney has invited you and Levy to afternoon tea so you can chat research stuff. So, we've still got about five hours to go to the leap and explore, until we need to be anywhere. You ready to roll?"

Lucy smiled and nodded. "Ready", she said. She was really looking forward to spending the day with Natsu. Something about his transparent enthusiasm for everything he did stirred butterflies in her stomach, and she was surprised at her enjoyment of his company. For a long time, solitude had been her preferred option, but now, she craved Natsu's company, and she had only known him for a day.

They walked out the cottage together, and Natsu handed her the spare helmet after she had carefully locked the door and walked over to his bike. He grinned at her over his shoulder before patting the fuel tank of his bike affectionately. "You're gonna have to hang on a bit tighter this morning Luce. I was easy on you last night, but this morning I'm gonna show you what this baby can really do".

He laughed at the apprehensive look she gave him before putting on her helmet. He swung his leg gracefully over the bike and put on his own helmet, waiting for her to get on. She shuffled onto the seat behind him and put her hands tentatively on his hips. As he gunned the engine and took off, she shrieked and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. She couldn't hear it over the engine, but she was sure he was laughing at her by the way she could feel his ribs shaking. She would have actually loved to look at the view, but he was going so much faster, and by the time she felt brave enough to open her eyes, they'd nearly arrived at their destination.

After parking the bike in the visitors carpark, Natsu retrieved a backpack from the compartment under the seat and pointed the way towards the path leading to the lookout.

They walked quietly through the mixture of trees, scribbly gums, wattle and lilly pillies, Lucy following closely behind Natsu as she breathed in the eucalyptus scented air in delight. Tiny silver eye wrens flitted across the path in front of them, letting out cheerful chirps as they searched for their next meal. Natsu suddenly stepped aside to let her move in front, and she gasped in astonishment.

In front of her was a chain link fence, which was the only barrier between her and a huge canyon, filled with trees far below. She could make out the thin snaking line of a creek far below, the sun reflecting off the surface of the water, and followed its path with her eye back towards the other side of the gorge. A thin silver ribbon of waterfall sparkled as it fell over the yellow sandstone cliffs, made even brighter by the late morning sun.

"So, whaddya think?" grinned Natsu. "Pretty good huh?"

"It's breathtaking", sighed Lucy. She moved to the edge of the fence, and placed her hands on it, testing its safety and strength, before leaning forward. "Whoa, that's a long way down."

"Yeah, it is", sighed Natsu. "You wouldn't believe how many tourists get themselves into trouble deciding to climb onto the other side of fences like this to take selfies."

He pointed to a spot not far away, where there was a gap in the trees. "That's where Caddock was meant to have jumped from the cliff, while he was trying to get away from the mounted police who were guarding the gold escort. Rode his horse right over the edge, taking the gold bullion from the coach with him, and was never found."

"Can we go take a closer look?" asked Lucy excitedly.

"As long as you promise not to get too close to the edge", said Natsu. "The sandstone over there is unsafe, you can see where it's damper than the other stone around it, because there's a natural spring nearby."

"I promise", said Lucy, taking her camera out of her backpack and then shrugging it back onto her shoulders.

She took lots of pictures, of the bush behind them, and the view of the gorge in front, being careful to stay well away from the edge.

"Say, Lucy. Are you scared of heights at all?"

Lucy looked at him cautiously, clicking the protective cap back over her camera lens and stashing it safely in her backpack. "Um, not really, but that doesn't mean I want to go jumping off cliffs anytime soon Natsu!"

Natsu scoffed. "Who said anythin' about jumpin'? Not something I'd recommend in my personal capacity as an employee of NSW Fire and Rescue", he grinned. "Nah, there's a cave that's a short way from here that was meant to be one of Caddock's hideouts; Gran told me about it a while ago, and I've already checked it out. There's about a thirty-foot drop down to the cave, and then about double that down to the valley floor; we could abseil down and climb back up or walk out. It's an easy drop, no dangerous overhangs. I've got enough abseiling equipment packed if ya want to do it, but no worries if you don't Luce."

She'd decided it couldn't hurt to take a look. Which was why she was now standing a few metres back from the cliff's edge, without the safety of a chain link fence, her heart beating fast as she watched Natsu nonchalantly standing right on the edge looking over. He seemed totally unconcerned about the fact that if he tipped forward just a little more, he'd be plummeting to his death.

Natsu turned back to look at her and noticed her nervous face. "Hey, Lucy", he said gently. "It's okay. This sort of stuff isn't for everyone. I'm just used to it because I do it all the time." He looked at his watch. "We've still got a few hours to spare before it's time to go back to Grandeeney's, so if you wanna…"

"I want to do it."

Natsu took in Lucy's expression carefully. "Are you sure?" he asked, taking in Lucy's crossed arms and suddenly defiant chin. "You know I wouldn't ever force you to do something you didn't want to Lucy."

Lucy nodded, biting her bottom lip. Ever since yesterday, that small risk-taking part of her seemed to be taking over. She wasn't entirely sure if it was a good thing. But now that she was away from home, interacting with other people who didn't know her, she realised how frightened and insular she had become, and she didn't like it. It was a bad habit. A habit she was sure she could break with a little effort.

"I know. It's just… I've been hiding for such a long time Natsu. I think it's time to push myself a little."

"By throwing yourself off a cliff?" he grinned.

She chuckled nervously. "I guess so."

He gave her one of those heart stopping sunny smiles. "Well, if we're gonna throw ourselves off a cliff today, lets do it safely huh?" He dropped his backpack on the ground, where it landed with a clunk, and pulled out a confusing series of ropes, harnesses and carabiners, along with two helmets. "I wasn't sure you'd be up for this today, but I thought better to be safe than sorry, you know?"

Lucy watched as Natsu set up an anchor point and quickly sorted ropes and harnesses. He handled the long ropes with a natural grace, flicking them over the cliff face with the practiced ease of someone who had done this many times before.

"Are you still sure you wanna do this? It's no problem if you don't Lucy. I won't think any less of you."

"Yes", she said, nodding her head determinedly. Natsu helped her step into the harness and set up the belay loop, connecting her to the rope. "So, I'm going to lower you down to the cave first, and then I'll follow, alright? The rope's connected to my harness with a belay device too, so I can make sure you don't go down too fast."

He gave her his gloves, which were a little large, and did one last safety check, making sure her harness and helmet were on correctly, and the carabiner connecting her to the rope was safely closed. He placed her hands on the rope, one behind her on her hip, the other in front.

"Alright Luce, all you gotta do is walk backwards."

Lucy gave a nervous giggle. "Just walk backwards huh."

"Yup. Easy as falling off a cliff."

Heart pounding, Lucy began shuffling backwards until her toes were right on the edge. She looked over her shoulder at the valley floor so far below and gave a nervous squeak.

"Eyes on me Lucy. Lean back. I got ya. I won't let you fall."

His voice was warm and encouraging, and she took a deep breath and leaned backwards. What was it about his voice that made her trust him so much? Natsu's arms flexed as he helped take the strain of her weight, and she took one step back, placing her foot flat on the vertical cliff.

"Atta girl Luce, you're doin' great! Just keep goin'."

She kept her eyes locked on Natsu's until his cheerful face was blocked by the cliff face, and she continued backing down, trying not to think about how high up she was until suddenly, there was an open space beneath her foot.

"Natsuuuuu! There's no more cliff. What do I do!" she called out, her heart pounding again.

"Just relax Luce. Let your feet drop, one at a time. I'm gonna lower you down now, okay? When you get to the cave floor, just swing in a little and stand up."

"Okay", Lucy called back shakily. She took her feet off the cliff one by one and clutched at the rope in front of her as she swung a little in mid-air as Natsu lowered her steadily. She looked above at the slender rope going over the top of the cliff, knowing it was all that was stopping her falling. She turned her head aside as dust drifted down from above and watched as the cliff face gave way to a dark opening in front of her.

It wasn't a huge opening, and it was only moments before one foot touched onto a hard surface and she sighed in relief. Once both feet were on solid rock, she called up to Natsu. "I'm down! Can you give me a little slack so I can move forward?" Soon she was stepping into the cave and looking around.

"Well done Lucy. See you there in a sec!"

"Okay!"

The cave was dark and smelt of damp. Water trickled down the sandstone walls, and small ferns grew in the cracks of the rock. The ceiling of the cave was high enough for her to stretch a hand up, with one finger almost able to touch to stone above her. A gust of wind swirled into the cave, making an eerie moaning sound, and suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck prickled. The sound of tumbling pebbles behind her had her turning around, just in time to see Natsu swing into the cave.

"You did awesome Luce!" he grinned. "That was amazing considering it was the first time you tried abseiling."

Lucy smiled back, a small blush heating her cheeks. "Thanks", she said. She moved further into the back of the cave, pulling her rope behind her, trying to see how far it went.

"It doesn't really stretch that far", explained Natsu, producing a small torch from his pocket. He flashed it into the dark corners, but the cave was pretty bare, apart from a couple of ancient beer cans. Lucy walked forwards, leaning down a little as the ceiling began to lower towards the back of the cave.

"If there was anything of his here, it's long gone. I've abseiled down this cliff a couple of times, and…Luce, are you okay?"

As soon as Lucy had touched the back wall of the cave, she had gone rigid, standing straight, her eyes wide. Natsu felt Happy yank his hair hard, his high-pitched voice screaming, "Get her out Natsu!"

Natsu leaned forward and yanked Lucy away from the wall. She was shivering, her lips blue, eyes staring. "Luce, Happy says it's time to go", he said grimly, pulling her towards the mouth of the cave. He put Lucy behind him and walked slowly backwards, his hand tight around her wrist. "What's goin' on Happy?" he growled in an undertone.

"She's a beacon", said Happy, whispering into Natsu's ear. "Her abilities are waking up, and she's drawing spirits to her. This one's angry."

"What do we do?" muttered Natsu, his hand still tight around Lucy's wrist. He could hear her panting behind him, her pulse racing under his fingers. He didn't know what had happened at the back of the cave, but she was terrified.

"You just need to get out of the cave as fast as you can", said Happy. "I don't think he'll follow."

"Alright". They were now at the mouth of the cave. Natsu turned Lucy towards him and gripped her shoulders, squeezing gently to get her attention. Her eyes were wide and terrified, looking at nothing, her skin pale.

"Luce, we're getting' outa here. I'm gonna drop down fast, and then you're gonna follow me. You don't have to do anything, I'll take your weight. Just hang tight for a few seconds until I get down, okay?" He wished he had time to set her up for a back carry so they could both go over at the same time, but Happy still seemed frantic for them to get moving. If he let her go down first in this unresponsive state, and something happened to him, he wasn't sure she would be able to slow her own descent. This would be the fastest way for him to get them both down to the bottom quickly and safely.

"Oka-ay", she whispered, her glassy eyes suddenly focusing on him. He gave her shoulders another squeeze and dropped over the side of the cliff in great bounds, landing at the bottom of the cliff twenty seconds later. He looked up just in time to hear Lucy's scream as she plummeted over the edge of the cliff.

"Lucy!", he hollered, bracing his feet against the cliff face as he struggled to get her descent under control. His palms burned against the friction of the rope, but he gripped tighter, until she stopped, dangling about fifteen feet above him.

"Lucy! Are you okay!?" he yelled, lowering her slowly. Her body was limp, a dead weight, and he speeded up her descent until she was on the ground beside him.

"Lucy", he said desperately, moving her fringe away from her pale face. He pushed the straps of her backpack off her arms and moved it away so he could lay her gently down on her back, dipping his ear to her chest, to hear her rapidly beating heart. Her breaths were shallow, and her skin was cold and clammy. He placed her backpack under her legs, elevating them a little, and took off his jacket tucking it in around her to try and keep her warm. Suddenly, her eyes opened wide and she began coughing, so he quickly turned her on her side into the recovery position.

"You had me worried for a second there Luce", he said, rubbing her back comfortingly as she dry retched. She tried to sit up, and he helped, moving to sit behind her so she could lean on him. She turned and flung her arms around his neck, and he hugged her, murmuring softly. "It's gonna be okay. You're safe now. I'm not gonna let anythin' bad happen to you, Lucy."

"He pushed me Natsu", she said brokenly. "He pushed me off the cliff. He told me to get out, go away. I told him I was already leaving, and he pushed me." She unwound her arms from Natsu's neck, sitting back down, rubbing her chest with her hand. "It hurts."

"Can I see?" asked Natsu gently. She pulled her blue woollen jumper off over her head with a sharp intake of breath at the movement and unbuttoned the first few buttons of the flannelette shirt she was wearing. Just above her breasts blossomed a dark red mark, already purpling around the edges, about the size of a fist.

"Fuck Lucy", said Natsu gently. He placed his hand gently over the bruise. "Breathe in for me." Lucy took a halting breath inwards, and then breathed out slowly. "I can't feel anything moving, but that doesn't mean it's not cracked", he said carefully. He rummaged in his back pack and produced an instant cold pack, shaking it to activate it, and then placed it gently over her chest.

Happy appeared in front of her in a sparkle of light. "I'm sorry Lucy", he said in a small voice. "I wasn't strong enough to do anything. He was sad and angry and wanted to be in the dark, and at the moment, you're shining really brightly. He wouldn't listen to me. I think you were hurting him, without meaning to, so he pushed you away. He's still angry."

"What do you mean, I'm shining really brightly?" asked Lucy, still shivering a little, her hand clutching the ice pack over her chest as Natsu picked up his jacket and dropped it around her shoulders to keep her warm.

"Just what I meant", replied Happy, shimmering a little as he floated in the breeze. "You're like a psychic beacon. Your talent is waking up, and until you learn how to dial it down, you shine like a star. Any spirit will want to come and see you."

Suddenly both Happy and Lucy looked back up the cliff towards the cave. Lucy covered her ears.

"He's still yelling at me Natsu! He's really angry!" A shower of pebbles landed on them from above, then a larger rock crashed down, going through Happy's ethereal form, just missing Lucy's thigh.

"Fuck off asswipe! We're leaving okay!" yelled Natsu. He picked up Lucy and carried her a good distance away from the base of the cliff, then went back to retrieve the backpacks, muttering angrily.

When he got back to Lucy, she was standing, still pale, her teeth chattering, but with a determined look on her face. "You said we either climb up or walk out didn't you? Climbing doesn't seem to be an option at the moment, so I guess we're walking." She held out her hand for her backpack, but Natsu shook his head.

"Nu uh. You're not carrying anything until we make sure your sternum's not cracked. I'm still not crazy about the idea of you walking at all yet."

Lucy did her best to smile at him, even though she was still shivering a little. "We've got lots to do Natsu, you said so yourself. But I'd like to add one more thing to the list."

"What's that", he said, eyeing her carefully, trying to gauge her readiness to walk up the winding path that would take them back up to the top of the cliff.

"I want to go meet Cana", she said. "The sooner we learn how to turn the dimmer switch on my so called 'psychic beacon' the better."

Ah, I'm so sorry I've kept you waiting for so long! I had a lot of trouble with this chapter, based on the fact that Natsu is meant to be an expert rock climber, and I've never done it. Please excuse any mistakes I"ve made in describing their abseiling. I really did my best to research the topic, and I'm hoping it wasn't too far off the mark. So, apart from my questionable knowledge regarding throwing Natsu and Lucy off a cliff, tell me what you think?

#nalu fanfiction #nalu fanfic #natsu x lucy #Nalu #Bearpluscat fanfics #Keys to her Heart

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maevefiction · 5 years

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Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 38

Caught up in all things wedding related, both for my own and Simon’s, as well as enjoying a bit of free time with mister Super Sexy wandering around naked constantly in every hotel room, I’d completely forgotten about my six alarm blaze. And Trudy. There wasn’t much I could do about it while we were in the air because of the time difference, and when confronted with the choice of pulling out my laptop and trying to find out how I was going to manage to procure and set up the servers we needed on my own or snuggling with Tom and taking a nap, the snuggling won out easily.

I woke up when we were circling Heathrow, groaning as I realized that I was royally fucked as far as a normal human-like sleep schedule was concerned. We grabbed our luggage and took a cab back to our flat, and Tom had barely gotten the key in the door when Simon came bounding out onto the landing and nearly tackled me to the floor with a ridiculously powerful bear hug.

“MAUDE, MAUDE, MAUDE! You’re home, you’re home!”

A small squeak emanated from my mouth when I opened it, and I struggled to speak. “DUDE. I love you, but you are crushing the fucking life out of me.”

He loosened his grip, kissed me on both cheeks, then waved at Tom, who knew it was in his best interest to get into our flat as quickly as possible lest he be caught up in the insanity.

“No, no, you must LIVE, woman. LIVE! I need you! NEED. YOU.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes. I am aware. You need me. What time is it, like, six?”

He nodded. “Something like that. So, did you sleep on the plane? Can we chat? Hmm?”

“I did, in fact, sleep on the plane. But, I really, really need to talk to Trudy ASAP…so can we chat tomorrow instead?”

An eyeroll, followed by a heavy sigh. “Really? Trudy? What could be so…”

“SecureServe dropped the fucking ball, man.”

He gasped. “What do you mean they dropped the ball?”

It was my turn to sigh. “They can’t get the servers done by the first.”

I was released completely as his hands lifted up and came to rest upon his cheeks like the kid in Home Alone. “GET THE FUCK OUT! Did you kill the guy?”

“Not yet. I fired him, though.”

Simon’s head pulled back like a turtle’s. “Excuse me, WHAT?”

“I fired him.”

He wagged his finger at me. “Trudy does not know this.”

I bit my lower lip and nodded. “Nope.”

“Oh, honey…you’d best get your ass down those stairs and tell the girl.” He frowned. “So what are you going to, you know, DO? Delay the launch?”

“Fuck no. We’re going to set up the servers ourselves. Speaking of which…I need your office.”

One hand flew to his hip. “And where am I supposed to work?”

I snorted. “Well, first of all…you working? Reading Tumblr and gossip blogs with a two hour lunch break in between doesn’t really count as work. But, in spite of that, I am willing to turn over my own office to you. I can do my thing anywhere.”

“HA! That’s exactly what Tom tells us!”

“Yeah, well…truth. So. Trudy’s still here, then?”

He nodded. “She’s here until at least ten every night. Sometimes much later if she’s ‘in the zone’ as she calls it. Says her flatmate is distracting when she’s trying to work at home.”

“All righty then. You go back in your cage now, Bridezilla. I’ll see you tomorrow. We can chat over that two hour lunch break.”

“Actually, I’m taking the entire day off and so are YOU, so THERE. Note that I am not disputing the Bridezilla label.”

“Noted. Now you note that I am officially terrified to be your maid of honor.”

“Duly noted and recorded.” He kissed the top of my head. “See you tomorrow, love. Good to have you home.”

“Good to be here. Go have wine. Have some wine for me. Have a LOT of wine for me…”

He laughed. “I think something harder is in order…”

“I’m sure you do.”

The laugh turned into a cackle as he headed back to his flat, closing the door he’d left open in his rush to greet me behind him.

I poked my head into my own flat, calling out to Tom.

“Babe? Where you at?”

He came bounding down the steps.

“Hey. What would you like for dinner?”

My face scrunched up. “Well, actually…”

“I know. You need to go speak with Trudy. But you still require sustenance…may I bring you both something?”

I kissed him quickly. “You may, good sir. Thanks. You’re fucking awesome.”

He grinned. “But am I awesome at fucking?”

“Methinks you know the answer to THAT already.”

“I do, I do. What would you like me to order?”

“Surprise me? Wait. Chinese? Pizza? Shit. Surprise me. Yeah.”

“Will do, my love.”

We embraced, and I turned, walked out the door and down to the office to deliver the news.

****************************************

I found Trudy in the upstairs conference room, the table nearly covered with papers, her hair up in a tightly wound bun as she chewed on her pen while staring at her laptop screen. She looked up at the sound of my footsteps, grinning, then put the pen down before speaking.

“You fired Mark.”

My head tilted to the side. “Um, well…yes. Yes I did. And you knew that how?”

“I lost access to the server about twenty minutes after I called you.”

“Well, shit…I hadn’t considered that aspect. Sorry. I absolutely should have let you know…”

Eyes back on the screen, she waved a hand in my general direction, the other resting on her mouse as she scrolled quickly. “No worries. Don’t give it another thought. I’m delighted that you fired him…he was a humongous tit. So, we’re doing this on our own, yeah?”

“That was the plan.”

“Good to know that picking out everything I think we need wasn’t a waste of time, then. I based it all on their server specs, then…found better stuff.”

I walked around to look at her screen. “Okay, rack servers instead of towers…that will save a ton of space. Dual Intel Xeon E7 processors, Windows Server OS, 128GB RAM, 2.4TB SAS hard drive…holy shit does that say sixteen GRAND? I think I need to sit down.” I flopped in the chair next to her.

“Maude, we can probably still find someone who can get it done in time.…”

I shook my head. “You and I both know that we’ll never be happy with someone else’s work. And we both also KNOW we’ll get everything done in time. So we need, what? Eight to start?”

“Eight to start would give us enough room to host about four thousand accounts, based on our calculations. Not future proof by any means, but it should do.” She began chewing on her pen again.

I nodded. “And we’ll also need all the cables, UPS backups, rack cabinets…and we’ll have to install security devices on Simon’s office, a door keypad or keycard, as well as tamper alarms on the servers themselves in order to meet industry standards. Not too worried about that, nor outside intrusion from hackers, because if they can get in after I’ve locked it all down I’ll be calling them to see if they want a fucking job.”

The pen dropped to the table. “Simon’s office?”

“Yeah. We’re swapping. That’s really the best spot for them, climate-wise and everything. And there’s room for both of us. I don’t actually NEED an office, I can set up shop anywhere when I need to meet someone face-to-face. Oh, and the network will have to be completely, totally separate from the Prosper one, and I’ll want our own T1 lines as soon as we can get them…”

Trudy chuckled. “So I should place the order, then?”

I leaned forward to rest my elbows on the table and cover my eyes with my hands. “Actually, I’m going to have to use Tom’s Amex for this one because my cards actually have limits. Let me text him…oh, he’s bringing us food. Forgot to mention that.”

“Good. I could eat, you know? What’s on the menu?”

I sat up and pulled out my phone. “No clue. Told him to surprise me.”

“I’m willing to wager he brings pizza.”

“Sadly, Trudy, I’m afraid I am not in a financial position to wager due to our imminent expenditure.”

She reached out and poked my shoulder. “You know quite well you’ll make that back in a very short time.”

“HA! Do I? I do not. But I hope so, because we’re on the hook for almost twice the server cost for the wedding. I think I need a cocktail.”

“And Mark will be sending you back the fifty thousand, so that will help, won’t it?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not counting on that happening. Like, at all. EVER. No idea how it works over here, really, but in the US it can take forever to even get a lien against someone who doesn’t pay what they owe. But I’m still going to sue the fucker…”

Trudy laughed. “I wouldn’t have even considered thinking otherwise, Maude.”

I typed quickly, then slowed down because I kept screwing up so badly and backspacing took up even MORE time than going at my normal rate.

Hey babe…could you maybe saunter that gorgeous ass down here? I miss you. – M

And also…I kinda sorta maybe totally need to use your Amex card again. – M

Sorry. L I’ll do an EFT to your account from mine tonight. – M

Not even ten seconds later my phone dinged.

I’ll be right down. The pizza should be here soon anyway. And please don’t be sorry. – T

And also…do you happen to have any cash on you? :P – T

I snorted quietly.

Yes. Small amounts of legal tender…that I DO have. :P – M

I turned to Trudy as I got up in order to go meet him at the front of the office. “Glad I didn’t bet. It’s pizza.”

Her right arm shot up in the air, hand in a tightly balled fist. “YES! Pizza!” She rose from her seat. “I’ll go down and get some plates and drinks.”

“Cool. Thank you.”

I walked out of the conference room, reaching the main door just as Tom appeared. He peeked behind me, saw we were alone, then grabbed me by my ass cheeks, pressed me into his crotch and rammed his tongue into my mouth. An indeterminable amount of time passed as we dry humped furiously, the building door buzzer startling us out of our thoroughly inappropriate behavior. Both of us were panting, Tom’s words uneven, his voice deepened into fuck mode.

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to go pay the delivery person, would you?”

My gaze travelled to his groin, the outline of his cock clearly visible as it strained against his jeans.

I ran my finger along his fly. “Well, clearly you aren’t up for THAT at the moment, so sure, I’ll handle it. The pizza, I mean.” Licking my lips suggestively, I squeezed gently. “THIS I’ll handle LATER.”

His jaw shifted to one side. “Maaauuuuudddeeee…”

Shrugging, I began to saunter away from him. “Don’t you Maude me, mister. YOU started this.”

He groaned, and I shifted my jeans around once I was out of his line of sight, sighing with relief when the seam was no longer digging into my crotch. The pizza delivery person was a red-headed freckled fellow, to whom I handed the equivalent of sixty dollars or so, grabbed the two pies and closed the door with a hasty but pleasant ‘have a great night!’.

Tom was nowhere to be seen when I walked back in, so I traversed to the conference room with the delectable scent of pizza infiltrating my nostrils, and for one brief shining moment I considered locking myself in my office with both and seeing how much I could put away before anyone noticed. Then I remembered it was no longer my office, technically, and THEN I remembered that I had a server order to place and if I deprived Trudy of pizza she might turn against me and that would NOT help my cause at all.

He was seated at the table, while Trudy stood, attempting to organize the scattered paperwork into piles to make room for dinner. When Tom didn’t stand to help me, I knew he’d bolted in there and sat down before Trudy had come back upstairs, and that he was still raring to go. I tittered to myself, but apparently not quietly enough.

Trudy looked up from her most recently formed stack. “Something funny, Maude?”

I placed the pizzas on the table. “Everything’s funny when you’ve spent your day on a Transatlantic flight and are starving and about to spend an insane amount of money on things that will take up a shitload of time you don’t really have in spite of the fact that you already paid someone else to do it for you.” I opened one box, saw that it was plain cheese, ripped it from its companions and took a huge bite. My words were garbled as I spoke and chewed at the same time. “MMMMM, that’s better.”

I grabbed a Coke, a plate and some napkins before flopping into the chair next to Tom. He reached past me to retrieve his own slice, opting for the garbage pie, downing it in five bites, then got his own plate and soda, belching loudly after his first giant draught.

“Goodness, excuse me.”

“Dude, there’s no excuse FOR you.”

He stuck his tongue out at me and snagged another slice for himself and one for me as well. Trudy munched contentedly on her own garbage slice, and we continued in relative silence until both pies were consumed. After we cleaned and washed up, I walked Tom to the reception area. He handed me his Amex…the Centurion Card, also known as the Amex Black Card. Made from anodized titanium, which gave it its coloring, the card number, expiration date and account holder name were laser etched into the metal.

I sighed as I took it from him. “Thanks, babe. Again, sorry.”

He said nothing, and I tilted my head as Tom not replying to an apology was, to date, unheard of. I waited for ten seconds, then righted my head and cocked an eyebrow. He looked down at my hand, the one holding the card, then back up at me, his own brows raised. I shook my head.

“Thomas. I have no clue what you’re getting at here, and your silence is quite disturbing. So why…”

He pulled his wallet from his pocket again, opened it, and removed another AMEX card, holding it towards me so I could clearly see his name displayed on the front.

“Why do you have two cards? Have you always had two cards? Do you have two accounts or…”

He chortled. “Maude. Look at the one you’re holding.”

I gazed downward, and instead of seeing ‘Tom Hiddleston’, I saw ‘Maude Gallagher’. My eyes shot up to meet his, my voice rather toneless when I spoke. “This card has my name on it.”

Nodding as he put his wallet away, he smiled at me sheepishly. “I added you as an authorized cardholder. Hope that’s all right…I know we never really discussed it, but I figured you having your own would be helpful, especially if I’m off filming and you need something for the wedding or anything else that exceeds the limit on your other cards. That made me sound like a bit of a pompous asshole, didn’t it? Sorry.”

I shook my head. “No it doesn’t. My cards have limits. Fact. I just said that to Trudy before we ate, actually. Also fact, you are just so thoughtful and helpful and thank you for this, so much. I’ll keep track of what I spend and reimburse you each month, okay?”

His hand reached out and came to rest on my shoulder. “Actually, I think that’s something else we should talk about.”

“If you mean talking about me not paying you back then I’m going to have to pass, m’kay?” It was something I’d been avoiding, the ‘money talk’. So far I’d insisted on paying my own way, and I didn’t feel comfortable with that changing. He’d been accepting for the most part, but on the plane ride home when I mentioned paying for half of the wedding expenses he’d only managed to utter a terse ‘absolutely not’ and as I balked his jaw tensed, so I let it go.

“Maude. We’re getting married. Husbands and wives typically merge at least some of their finances, do they not? And even if…anyway, how other people handle it doesn’t matter to me. It’s what I’d like to happen, but you may feel differently. Which is precisely why we should have a conversation about it, during which I will persuade you to accept my proposition.”

I said nothing, and he stared at me pointedly until I gave in, sighing, and a smile turned the corners of his mouth upward as I spoke.

“Fine. But we need to have it like, now or I’m going to stick my head back in the sand and pretend this never happened.” He laughed, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “So. I’m going to go spend a shit load of money, then I’ll meet you upstairs and you can have your way with me. Verbally. Something. Okay. Yes.”

He embraced me briefly, then whispered in my ear as he released me. “And after? Physically?”

I rolled my eyes. “Shush. Go. Away with you.”

His normal strut was greatly exaggerated as he walked out the door, and I groaned, shaking my head as I went back to the conference room. Twenty minutes and one phone call later, the servers and all the other components we needed were ordered and set to arrive on Wednesday, early AM. Which happened to be the day before Christmas Eve, and I kept my freak out over losing two days that I should be spending getting everything ready to a holiday under control until I headed upstairs, repeating ‘it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s all fine’ to myself but not believing a single syllable.

Tom had left the door open, and when I stepped inside he was sitting at the dining table, his laptop open and a stack of folders behind it.

“Hey, you. Everything ordered?”

“Yep. Delivery Wednesday morning, and hopefully we’ll get them unpacked, in place and perhaps up and running then because I won’t have any time to work on them until we get back from your mom’s on Saturday. Hopefully I can attend to all Simon’s needs tomorrow and then…” Luke’s voice from behind me made me nearly jump out of my skin. I spun around to see him standing right behind me in the still-open doorway, a half-smile raising the right corner of his mouth.

“Oh, good. You’re here. I just wanted to tell you that there is no way I’m allowing you to give up your office. I’m going to rearrange mine so Simon can share it with me, and you can use his space for whatever you need, plus it can serve as Trudy’s office as well.”

I crossed my arms. “But what about clients? And how are you going to get any work done with him jabbering away?”

Simon yelled from down the hall. “I HEARD THAT.”

I yelled back without moving from my spot. “GOOD. IT’S THE TRUTH. AND I GUESS YOU DON’T ACTUALLY NEED AN OFFICE ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU DON’T DO ANY REAL, ACTUAL WORK.”

“AGAIN WITH THAT SHIT? FUCK YOU, WOMAN.”

Luke grinned. “So it’s settled, then.”

“Looks that way. Thanks, Luke. You’re the best.”

“I know. And please, do remember that tomorrow when you’re out with my better half…just when you think it’s time to bring him back, add on an hour or two, if you don’t mind.”

Simon’s voice again. “YOU SUCK ARSE, THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!”

Luke winked at me, then off he went, and I closed the door behind him, walked over to where Tom was sitting, wrapped my arms around him from behind and placed a kiss on the nape of his neck. The resulting shiver made me chuckle, and I bit his earlobe prior to speaking.

“So, where would you like me, Mr. Hiddleston?”

He groaned. “I appreciate your diversionary tactics immensely, but…have a seat right here, please.” He patted the chair to his left. I sat, and he turned to meet my gaze.

“I’m just going to jump right in here…so, after the food poisoning incident I began thinking to myself, what would happen if something were to…happen…to me?”

“THOMAS. DO NOT EVEN GO THERE.”

He rested his hand on my thigh. “I have to go there. Not just…death…but what if I was badly injured? Fell terribly ill? What if you didn’t have access to the funds you needed to deal with any of it? And also, as of now, my family could do as they pleased…and I trust them, of course, but…you’re the one who should be making those sorts of decisions on my behalf. Once we’re married, it’s easy, but that’s six months away and…what if, you know? And then, we set an actual timeline for getting pregnant…”

I snorted. “Oh, are you getting pregnant too? WOW! I can’t wait to see THAT.” He took my hand in his, expression deeply concerned, which sobered me and I kept silent, feeling like a snarky shithead as I nodded for him to continue.

“It hit me, the level of responsibility required, and that a month or two from now you could be carrying our child and I…I…I just want to set everything right so no matter what, that child is taken care of properly. So I requested an Amex for you…they’ll send another once we’re married and your name is officially changed…and got the ball rolling so I’d have all the documents in place we need in order to add you to all my financials, the flat, the car…all of it. If you aren’t comfortable doing the same, that’s fine, but all you have to do is sign these and…”

I let go of his hand and leaned back in my chair, processing the enormity of it all. Insisting on paying my own way because NOT doing so made me feel like some sort of freeloader seemed so trivial when I examined the angle he’d been viewing things from, and I was unsure how to phrase things without sounding incredibly idiotic.

“Tom…okay…I was avoiding this whole…thing…because in my head it was just money, and I have money, though it’s not the kind of money you have, and that’s where my issue was, because I don’t want you to ever think that I’m in this for that. Which I’m sure you already know, but…yeah. I’m sorry about that, and I should have just fucking said it, right? Right. And here you are, thinking not of yourself, but of me, and our future family and…wow. I’m really, really sorry. And I have no problem with you being joint in all my holdings, no problem at all…” He cut me off.

“Even with the app coming out? That has the potential to turn you into a higher earner than me quite quickly.”

I stared downward briefly, then back up to stare blankly at him, blinking like an owl as I did math in my head, smiling as I came up with a total. “You’re wrong. Even if we have ten thousand subscribers, I’m still under for the year what you make per film. By a decent amount. So there.”

He laughed. “The maths elude me, Maude. You know this.”

“No lies detected. The way it’s structured is that all the funds go into the Manageall business account and are dispersed from there, so as long as you’re on my checking account you’ll have access, and we’ll need to add you to the business itself…”

Shaking his head, he leaned forward to kiss me softly. “Not necessary.”

I shrugged. “I think it is. I’ll have Barty get to work on adding you to the New Orleans and New York houses as well…that’s pretty much it for me. Just checking, savings, the two houses. Nothing else. Glad I pulled everything out of the market. This is pretty simple, as far as this sort of shit goes.” I grimaced. “I guess we need…wills. Which we’ll have to modify if a kiddo enters the picture…”

He smiled. “When.”

My eyes rolled without hesitation, and I pinched his cheek. “Fine. WHEN. Now, give me a pen and let me sign all the things and then you can fuck my brains out. If that’s acceptable to you, that is. Is it?”

He stood so quickly the chair toppled over behind him, grabbed my wrist and pulled me from mine, then dragged me to the couch, pinning me under him as he ground against me. “No. It isn’t. You can sign those anytime, but right now my cock needs to be in your pussy. RIGHT. NOW.”

“But…TOM…that’s so…irresponsible of you…we need to get everything in done…”

“I AM getting everything done. I’ve just decided to start with YOU.”

He tickled me until I was a helpless blob, yanked my jeans off, unbuttoned and unzipped his own, then sank into me with a moan so ridiculously erotic that I came before he even began to move. Which turned out to be a good thing, as after fifteen quick but punishing thrusts he came as well, grunting into my ear as I wrapped my legs around him in order to rub out my version of the second coming.

We rolled on our sides without separating, no easy task on the couch, his arms wrapped around me the only thing preventing me from falling backward and onto the floor. He smiled softly as I traced the lines of his face.

“You are…you’re…you are such a good man, you know? Always thinking of other people, their needs.”

He kissed the tip of my nose. “Not other people. Just you.”

“Liar. You’re the most considerate human being I’ve ever met. And I love that. Probably because I’m, you know, NOT.”

“Oh, stop. You’re incredibly considerate. Why, while we were on the plane back you only rolled your eyes at the mother of that screaming toddler instead of flipping her off…”

I let my mouth drop open in feigned surprise. “Geeze, you know, you may be on to something there…personally, I think you’ve just made me…SOFT.”

His cock twitched inside me, and he chuckled. “Sorry, but I can’t say the same for you, love. Sign and bed, perhaps?”

“Yada yada yada, screw. Sounds about right.”

We took care of that business, then the other business, and spooned as we dozed off, back in our own bed, in our own flat, and all of a sudden, I realized I was actually looking forward to Christmas, which hadn’t been the case in a very, very long time.

****************************************

Just after Tom and I finished breakfast on Tuesday, Bridezilla Ahlberg barged into our flat with his usual flourish, dressed in black skinny jeans, grey leather chukka boots, a grey tweed pea-coat with matching newsboy cap and a black and grey striped scarf wrapped around his neck. He took one look at me in my ratty, baggy men’s jeans and puffy black parka, pointing accusingly in my general direction.

“Tell me you just came back from a coffee run and that you’re changing, like, now.”

I looked down at myself, holding out one foot to show him the pair of Birkenstock boots I’d picked up before we left for Hawaii but didn’t have a chance to wear. “Um, no. But look, aren’t my new boots really, really beautiful? And cool? LOVE THEM, SIMON.”

His eyes rolled. “Okay, as far as Birkenstocks go they’re decent. But those jeans look like you haven’t washed them in a week and my GOD that JACKET. Wait…is that FAKE FUR ON THE HOOD? You expect me to tool around London with a woman with fake fur on her hood? No. No no no no no. Think of my reputation!”

He was right about the pants…almost. I’d worn them on the flight home and all day yesterday but the rest of my jeans were still packed away and I’d been entirely too lazy to dig them out. Under the parka I had on a black V-neck T-shirt, topped with one of Tom’s zip-up black cardigans, my hair bound up in a sloppy bun that would no doubt become a ponytail at some point in the day. No makeup, either. All of it the stuff of nightmares in Simonland. I snorted.

“Well, look at it this way…I’m so hideous that everyone will spend more time looking at YOU, and that’s the goal, am I right?”

Rubbing his hand with his chin, he considered my statement, then nodded. “That’ll do. Also, we’re already late so there’s simply not time for me to rectify the situation properly. Say your goodbyes to lover boy and let’s move it, please and thank you.”

Tom had snuck into his office without my noticing, and rose instantly from his chair when I entered the room, wiggling around the furniture to embrace me. “You’re off, then, I take it?”

I buried my face in his neck, breathing in his scent, which, let’s face it, was always a terrible idea. Pulling back, I sighed. “Yes. Off I go. Are you SURE you don’t want to…”

He laughed. “Positive. I’ll stay right here in my comfy sweats, thanks. I’ll miss you, though.”

“I’ll miss you too. Need anything while I’m out?”

“Something chocolatey?”

“Will do.” I pulled him down to me, kissing him, tongue running across his lips, then sliding inside his mouth halfway. He bit down gently, letting go as I groaned. “Well, for THAT you’re going to get random sexts all day long, Thomas.”

“Mmm, that sounds fun. And the sweats make for easy access…”

I shoved myself backwards, then turned to face the door as I walked through it, hand in the air and waving behind me. “Hasta la vista, baby.”

He replied using his best Arnold voice. “You’ll be back.”

“Uh huh. Yep. Sure thing.”

His laughter followed me as I grabbed my bag, dragged Simon out into the hall, then closed and locked the door behind me. We walked down the steps to the main entrance, and I was surprised to see a cab waiting.

“Don’t feel like driving today, Simon?”

He opened the cab door for me. “Fuck no. Christmas shopper traffic…we’re cabbing and walking. Though probably more cabbing because that wind is wicked.”

I put my hood up as he got in the other side, smirking. “You know, I hadn’t noticed. This parka is super-duper warm and stuff.”

Plopping down, he flipped me off. “Whatever. So, aren’t you wondering what we’re doing today?”

“Um…maybe? Mostly I’m just wondering how many tantrums you’re going to throw and if I’ll feel like I need a cocktail when all is said and done.”

“How rude. You’re supposed to alleviate some of my stress, not cause more of it.”

“Perhaps you chose unwisely when you asked me to be your maid of honor.”

He threw his arms around me and kissed my cheek. “No, I did not. And I’m going to try very hard to not be nasty, bitchy, petty or throw tantrums today because I love you and I missed you and I have something very important to tell you and something very important to ask you but…first, the tailor so we can do our final fittings and then to Sugared Saffron to check on the cake and then to the Searcys to make sure the menu is set and everything is in place and then I’m taking you to Bocca Di Lupo for lunch, even if you aren’t dressed for it, which is fine because I know the chef, and we’ll talk while we dine and I AM GETTING MARRIED IN NINE DAYS PLEASE HELP ME.”

Taking his jaw in my hand, I got close enough for us to touch noses. “It’s going to be fine, you’re going to be fine, and you know damn well that I’ll make sure that this wedding is going to be specfuckingtacular. Right? No one plans like me. No one organizes like me. No one gets shit done like me. And though I bust your balls endlessly about being a lazy piece of shit, you’re exactly the same way. Paired up? WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE. Now quit worrying and let’s get the work out of the way so we can go to lunch because you need to spill, son. SPILL.”

And so it went, first the tailor, who had to take my dress in another inch at the waist and discreetly averted his eyes as best he could when confronted with my nipples. Then Sugared Saffron, where we examined the sketches for the six-tiered beast Simon had decided upon and got to see the special order 3-D printed topper…replicas of Luke and Simon right down to their eye color, standing shoulder to shoulder and holding hands, Simon in a white suit and shirt, Luke in all black, both with silver cummerbunds and pocket squares. I couldn’t resist asking the manager for contact info for the company he’d gotten the topper from, and he generously accommodated my request, even fishing around in his desk drawer for a business card. In hindsight, I think he was just hoping to distract me and get us out the door before we made any additional changes to the plans he’d thought he was finished with.

The Gherkin blew my mind…Searcys was the top floor, and the views of the city were breathtakingly gorgeous in person. I tuned out and stared at the skyline while Simon talked food with the event manager, knowing his expertise and experience would guide him no matter how stressed he was. My phone dinged…a text from Tom.

Still waiting on those sexts. Or have you decided my biting your tongue doesn’t require retaliation? – T

Oh, it does. I was going to wait and swallow your cock whole when I got home as punishment, but if you’d prefer sexts instead, that’s fine with me. – M

It was at least a full minute before he replied.

Sorry. I dropped my phone and it flew under the desk and then I cracked my noggin on it as I tried to stand up. I believe I may require medical attention. – T

Also, stop texting me RIGHT NOW and I’ll see you later on, all right? K thanks bye. :P – T

As you wish. Lunch is next, then I’ll be home. Love you. – M

Love you too. :D – T

Simon and the event manager were bickering over which vegetarian dish to offer as an alternate main course, and when the manger asked my opinion I shrugged and said I was a carnivore who had little love for veggies, Simon snorted and blurted out ‘meat and only meat for the lady, please…she’s overly fond of sausages, or so I’m told’, which resulted in my excusing myself post haste so I could lose my shit privately in the bathroom, flushing the toilet repeatedly to mask my raucous laughter. By the time I was finished and walked back into the dining area, the waitstaff had arrived and Simon was standing alone, gazing out one of the windows. He turned to me, a sad smile on his face.

“I wish my parents weren’t so awful. This is a huge thing for me in my life, marrying the person I love more than anything, and they’re…just…I read their Facebook posts sometimes, you know? And they’re horrified that their son is getting ‘gay married’ and all their friends are telling them how sorry they are and…anyway. I thought they were progressing a little, but…I was wrong. I should have known better.”

I pulled him into an embrace, his head resting on my shoulder briefly. He cleared his throat and pulled away, but I took his hand, unwilling to let him go.

“So, are they coming to the wedding?”

He sighed. “They have yet to RSVP.”

My mouth dropped open. “You invited them and they didn’t even RESPOND?” He nodded. “Wow. That is incredibly fucked up. I’m sorry, honey. Want me to hack their Facebook accounts and post an endless stream of rainbow flags and gay pride parade videos? Because I totally will. As long as you know their email addresses…and the passwords I might even be able to guess. Hedied number 4, capital U, maybe? Or how about thorncrown33?”

First a gasp, then a giggle, followed by a chortle and a slap to my bicep. “You are HORRID, Maude, and I love you. So much. Thorncrown33. Good lord. HA, see what I did there? My god. HA! AGAIN!” The waitstaff was staring…not openly, but a glance and a smirk here and there. Simon tugged on my hand. “Time to go, BFF. Allow me to provide you with foodstuffs as a reward for your loyalty to the king, and your service as court jester.”

We held hands in the elevator, and continued to do so out on the street as we waited for our cab. He leaned in to kiss my cheek at some point, and I kissed his in return. Words seemed unnecessary, and I wondered if that was what he’d wanted to tell me, which would leave only the thing he wanted to ask me, and I couldn’t even being to imagine what that might be. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted the long lens of a camera poking out from behind a bush.

“Um…Simon? You might want to prepare yourself to be slightly more internet famous than you already are.”

He looked around, and I pointed. He waved at the camera. “Hi! Yes, this is Tom Hiddleston’s fiancée. Maude Gallagher. Yes, I am holding her hand. Yes, I just kissed her.” He let go of me and walked over to the bush, peering around it. “Oh good, there you are. My name is Simon Ahlberg. Lovely to meet you, and sorry to disappoint, but I’m gay. And engaged. Actually, I’m getting married on New Year’s Eve, at the stroke of midnight, to the most wonderful man in the world, Luke Windsor. Proprietor of Prosper PR. Genius, love of my life. Will you print that, maybe? I’d appreciate it if you would. Also, Maude is my maid of honor. It’s going to be the best wedding ever. And I mean EVER! Print that too, okay? I’m a petty bitch and want everyone to be jealous.” He turned on his heel and literally skipped back to my side as I saw the pap emerge and wander off, shaking his head.

My own head was shaking back and forth, and I began to applaud. “Dude, that was fabulous. SO FABULOUS.”

“I know. I hope he runs with it…because seeing an article in the Daily Fail or something about me getting gay married would really piss my parents off.”

During the cab ride he called Luke, whose response to the pap encounter was initially ‘you did WHAT?’ but dissolved into ‘I love you even more than I thought possible right now’ and I just sat quietly, torn between ranking on them and reveling in the magnitude of the love they’d found in each other.

Bocca Di Lupo looked tiny from the outside, the front coral-colored bricks and industrial style windows. The interior was actually spacious and bright, the length of the building allowing for a decent amount of patrons. To the right was a bar that took up a quarter of the entire space, the bottom crafted from medium, rich honey colored wood, seamless and curved at either end, the oval top comprised of stone, round stools with rust-brown leather seats and chrome legs. The dining tables were toward the rear, and we were seated just on the other side of the bar, tucked in a corner with a wall on two sides. The table tops were the same material as the bar counter, and the chair cushions, back and seat alike, had the same covering as the bar stool seats. The lighting was amazing, a huge O-shaped chandelier with metal accents, placed right in the center of the dining area.

I took one look at the menu and raised a brow. “Lamb sweetbreads? Pigeon? Suckling pig? Really?”

Simon rolled his eyes. “I am attempting to expand your food horizons by encouraging you to sample some authentic Italian dishes.”

“Thanks, but…no thanks. The buffalo mozzarella seems safe…it’s just buffalo milk, right? And I’ll have the meatballs braised with wine and lemon, and a side of roast potatoes and wild garlic.”

“Never say I didn’t try. I’m going for the octopus, roast tomato, celery and basil salad, wild boar as my main, and a blood orange and red onion salad.”

The waiter took our order, and as we sipped our drinks Simon fidgeted in his seat for a few minutes, finally breaking the silence by clearing his throat.

“Okay, Miss Maude. I’m not sure whether I should ask or tell first.”

“You didn’t already tell?”

His head titled to the side. “Um…no. Why…oh, right, the parents. No. That just…happened. I’ve decided I want to do the asking now. So here I go. You know our wedding song is Feeling Good by Nina Simone, yes?”

“Yes. Duh. I’ve told you at least a hundred times that I love it and it’s one of my favorites and it’s perfect. And Phaedra has a friend who’s going to sing…”

“Yeah. About that…her friend’s gone off to Ireland to care for a family member who’s become ill, so she won’t be singing after all. Which leaves us without someone to sing our wedding song and…”

“Are you going to ask me to sing a Nina Simone song? THAT Nina Simone song? With the bit of scatting towards the end that I could never, ever replicate? At your wedding?”

He nodded emphatically. “Yes times four. Not like you haven’t sung it before, or am I wrong?”

“Of course I’ve sung it before. Just not in front of a room full of people at A WEDDING when it was the WEDDING SONG.”

Leaning across the table, he placed his hand over mine. “So will you do it?”

My chin fell to my chest as I sighed, then lifted my head to meet his gaze. “Sure. Why not. Not like I’ll be wearing a see-through dress and pasties while I’m doing it…OH WAIT…I WILL BE!”

I could practically see the relief wash over him. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You’ll be fantastic, I know it, and it means so much, having you sing it…” He broke off as the waiter appeared with our appetizers, wiping a tear from his cheek. The buffalo milk mozzarella was delicious, and I focused on it intently so I wouldn’t notice the octopus bits on Simon’s plate and barf all over the table. The main course arrived shortly thereafter, and we ate quickly, casually exchanging stories regarding what we’d been up to while we were apart. We both ordered chocolate and marzipan balls with rum and raisins for desert, and I threw caution to the wind and chose a Bicern to go with it…a mix of hot chocolate, coffee and cream. Once that had been delivered, Simon closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then opened them.

“Now comes the telling. This is a big one, and it’s not something we’re telling anyone other than Phaedra and you and Tom until the time is right. So.” Another deep breath. “Luke and I have decided that we’d like to have a family. Together. A child. Children. Kids. Us. Together. We’ve got our egg donor, and some eggs set aside already, actually, and just last week we found our surrogate. Now this is the crazy part, the totally, completely mental bit…are you ready?” I just stared, and he snorted and continued. “It’s my ex-wife, Lisa.”

Mouth agape, head tilted, I was momentarily at a loss for words. “Are you…are you…are you fucking kidding me?”

He roared with laughter. “No. No I am not. Luke and I discussed our plans with Roland, because it’s something we thought he should be aware of so he can get used to the idea, and apparently he went home and told Lisa that we wanted to have a family and that he wished he knew how to help because I’m such a great dad already and Luke’s a great dad too and that any kid would be really, really lucky to have us as parents and...” He paused, holding back a sob, then continued, tears streaming down his face. “So Lisa talked to Jim, her husband, and they all came over and…here we are. She loves being pregnant, apparently. And she actually said she’s very happy for me, that I finally found what I was looking for, and that raising a child with someone you love is an experience everyone deserves to have and…” He put his head in his hands, weeping, and I reached across and took hold of his wrists.

“Simon…that’s incredible, and beautiful and I’m so, so thrilled for you both.”

He pulled his hands from mine in order to blow his nose in his napkin. “The plan is to use two embryos on the first go round, one fertilized by my sperm, the other by Luke’s and see what happens. And…we’re going to start trying in April. And AND, if and when we’re successful, I’m likely going to be stepping away from Prosper to be the stay-at-home parent.”

Those words hit me hardest, because I hadn’t even thought about what I’d want to do when there was a real, actual baby in the picture. Would I continue to work full time? Go part time? Not work at all? Yay, more things for me to obsess over. And what would Tom want to do? Cut back on his own work? Try and stay close to home? Or would the baby and I travel with him? I was yanked from my wool gathering by Simon tapping on my forehead.

“Maude? You okay? What’s going on in there?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them. “Well, since it’s confession time and all…I’m going off the pill next month. So, are you all ready for Christmas or what?”

“MAUDE! OH MY GOD! CAN YOU IMAGINE IF WE HAVE BABIES AT THE SAME TIME?” He realized he was shouting about my personal business in the middle of a crowded restaurant, threw a wad of cash on the table, and escorted me outside, my jacket only halfway on. “Sorry about that. Damn. But I AM SO EXCITED! Are you excited?”

“Uh…sure. Yep. Excited. Also filled with trepidation with a little horror mixed in because I have no idea what I’m doing and will probably suck at being a mom. But also in awe of the fact that there might be a little combo of Hiddleston/Gallagher genetics running amok at some point, and I can’t wait to see Tom with a baby. He’s always wanted to be a father. Hopefully I’m not too old to make that happen. Christ. Can we be done talking about this? I…”

He gave me the biggest bear hug I’ve ever had, whispering in my ear as we waited for the cab. “Don’t be stressed. I’ve got experience, and trust me, it’s the most amazing thing you’ll ever do, and you’ll be an exceptionally excellent mother. And you aren’t too old, honey. Plus, if you need a little help, you have the funds. So no worries. It will happen.”

I wiggled free as the cab pulled up to the curb. “I hope so. Shit. I promised Tom chocolate. Can we swing by a bakery on the way home?”

His elbow rose in my direction. “Twist my arm, why don’t you?”

“You sure you want to put that out there, Simon?’

He tucked his arm back into his side. “I hereby rescind my offer. A sling would really clash with the wedding theme, and inhibit my dancing considerably. Good call.”

“Damn right.”

The ride back was uneventful, both of us busy munching on some of the chocolate chip cookies we’d purchased. After trekking up the stairs we hugged goodbye in the hallway, and as I turned my key in the lock I could hear Tom speaking loudly inside. I opened the door to find him pacing in the kitchen, one hand in his hair, pushing it back over and over, the other holding his phone to his ear.

“Yes, yes, I KNOW. Okay. I’m not sure how to handle this. I know. You don’t either. It’s just so sudden. We’ll figure it out. Maude’s home. I have to go.” He tapped his phone, then looked up at me, his face paler than usual, visibly upset and unduly stressed. “It’s my father.”

My first thought was that he’d passed away, but Tom’s tone during the call didn’t quite convey that. He’d seemed agitated, short tempered…and that was my shtick for a dead parent, not his. I walked toward him, stopping a foot away, uncertain if he wanted to be touched at this juncture, speaking firmly but softly.

“What happened?”

“He’s coming to Christmas. After almost twenty years of completely ignoring all of us during the holidays, the son of a bitch is coming to Christmas.”

#your light in the mist #chapter 38

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starry-eyed-sanders-sides · 4 years

Text

Finals Week

Inspired by the dozens of students napping in increasingly unlikely places at my college this last week. (This is my first time doing this, so any feedback/ suggestion is appreciated! Thanks! Love you all!)

Sanders Sides College AU

One-shot

About 3,600 words

Slight angst. Mostly Fluff. It’s a bit of Prinxiety and Logicality, a bit of all of them?

Remus is kinda mentioned in passing, but he doesn’t say anything. IDK how do do warnings. If people notice something, go ahead and tell me!

Virgil stumbled out of the classroom in a strange haze of exhilaration and defeat, dark purple bag slung over one shoulder. One final exam down. Sure, maybe he could have done better, but right now he was too exhausted to care. It was over with, and his next one wasn’t for another four hours or so.

Just enough time to catch a power nap.

Suddenly anxious that someone would beat him to it, he sped up a bit, heading straight for his favorite nook in the school library. It was a secluded sort of place, all the way on the top floor where even the elevator didn’t reach, and in the far corner behind a towering bookshelf that jutted out from the wall.

Behind this barrier of sorts, there was just enough room for the single couch and the couple ottomans he’d shoved together a while ago. Secretive. Solitary. Quiet. It was perfect.

Legs burning a bit from the climb (one of the reasons people rarely came up here), he rounded the corner to his hideaway and noted with great relief that it was empty.

He hadn’t been the only one to discover this place. Once, he’d stumbled straight into one of the drama majors in the middle of a scene, the tall man in a bright crimson jacket reclining along the back of the couch, script held above his head as he mouthed his lines.

Virgil had quickly ducked back behind the bookcase unnoticed. And it was only because he hoped the other man would leave soon that he spent the next little bit browsing books on the opposite side of the shelf. And it was complete coincidence that he’d catch the occasional glance of a chiseled jaw and flashing eyes that would contort with fury or sadness as the scene demanded, so wrapped up in his work that the stranger hardly seemed cognizant of anything around him.

And Virgil was totally not at all charmed by the occasional song that the other would sing softly, simple melodies drifting in a low, hauntingly beautiful sonorous voice.

Nope, it was all around annoying and inconvenient when an uncomfortably attractive stranger would steal his favorite spot.

And there were others Virgil had to fight over the space with, too.

Once, a slim, pale man with dark hair had completely dominated the space with charts and maps spread over every surface, even climbing the walls and bookshelves. Once again, Virgil had ducked behind the bookshelf and peeked through the tiny gaps. He’d been able to figure out that the neatly labeled diagrams were star charts for various systems in the Milky Way, each labeled point carefully noting essential characteristics of the star, nebula, or exoplanet.

Virgil, an artist himself, tried not to be too impressed by what looked to be the hand-drawn astronomically-correct coloring and shape of each noted point.

He also tried not to be too entranced by the way that by all accounts the stranger kept a completely controlled, straight face as he methodically worked. Except for the way his eyes glittered with enthusiasm behind thin black frames.

Finally, there was the tiny light-haired puffball of a student. Virgil didn’t see him as much as the others, but when he did, this stranger usually took the Virgil route and used the space to nap, all curled up in a tangle of limbs like a puppy and snoring softly, usually with a therapist textbook in his hands or tucked over his eyes.

Virgil would never admit it, but the boy looked adorable when he napped.

He blushed slightly from the memory, suddenly realizing he’d been standing for quite a while, lost in his thoughts. He shook himself, plopping his bag to the floor and shoving it against the wall where it would be out of the way. With that, he crawled forward to the farthest corner of the couch, curled up, pulled his jacket hood over his face, and quickly fell asleep.

…

Roman left the drama room exultant, cheeks flushed red from the adrenaline. His performance had been magnificent! One of the best in the class, even! His teacher had even singled him out for his genuine reactions and subtle portrayal of emotion, even though most of it was on-the-fly work. Some of his fellow classmates patted him on the shoulder as they passed him, offering congratulations. Roman grinned widely and basked in it all.

A boy in a ruffled dark green jacket pushed past him without a word. Still glowing from success, Roman ignored him. Fame always begat jealousy. He would be the bigger person.

Roman headed straight for his favorite little refuge in the library. It would be the perfect place to be able to re-enact his performance, just to himself, before beginning to study for his next test later in the day. He was halfway to flopping on the couch before he noticed a certain black-and-purple shape in the corner.

Roman froze, studying the thin, slow-breathing form of the sleeping student.

Should he leave? If this space was already claimed, that was probably the most polite action, but where would he go? Almost every other space in the library was full up. If he was really quiet, they probably wouldn’t even notice, and he’d probably be gone before they woke up, right? There was no harm in that, right?

Roman put his bag to the side and carefully crawled into the middle space (it had the most room) just out of reach of the other student, script gripped in his hand. They didn’t even shift. Somehow soothed by the stranger’s soft, steady presence, (it was an audience, of sorts) Roman started into his lines, just murmuring them softly to himself. This monologue was read as a love poem, one of a heartbroken man describing all the beauty of the lover he pined for, but it was all for naught as their lover would never see them. It was a beautiful story. One of his favorites.

Roman tried very, very hard not to glance at the delicate, narrow face of the one he shared the couch with, nor the enchantingly whimsical wisps of purple hair that hung over their face, nor the exact way the light and shadow played on their skin, nor….

By the curse of the Dragon Witch Roman cursed softly, feeling himself fall deeper and deeper into yet another crush.

He was probably blushing up a storm right now.

…

Logan straightened his glasses, looking once more over his test. If he did not receive a perfect score, then he would receive one very close to it. It would be sufficient. He gathered his things and stood to turn in his packet, ignoring the way the other students stared at him. He had used approximately one quarter of the time allotted to take the test, but seeing as he was already as confident in his answers as he was going to be, any extra time he spent worrying over them would be counterproductive. Better to use the time to prepare for his next exam.

When he rounded the corner of the bookshelf, he was slightly surprised to note not one but two other students who had already claimed the space.

“My apologies,” He said softly, realizing that one of them was sleeping. “I was not aware that this space had already been allocated by others as a study area.”

The tanner one with golden-brown eyes looked up in surprise. Then, strangely enough, he smiled widely, flashing a white toothed grin. “There’s plenty of room,” He invited, one hand patting the unused end of the couch. “You’re free to join us.”

“Thank you,” Logan said with a nod. He swept his gaze over the set up skeptically. The low hassocks had been pushed flush with the edge of the couch, leaving no room to stand in. While impractical and very likely not physiologically advantageous… Logan did have to admit that the stranger looked comfortable with his legs extended over them. Sighing slightly, Logan tucked his laptop under his arm and crawled into place. It took a moment of awkward wiggling to get where he wanted. He tried to mimic the other man’s posture.

“Roman,” the other man said, extending a hand.

“Logan,” He said in reply, shaking it briefly.

Roman, rather than letting it go of Logan’s hand immediately, flipped it so that his knuckles faced up, pressing them to his lips in a feathery-light kiss.

Logan blinked, short-circuiting for a moment. “You are… erm… part of the Drama department, I presume?”

Roman grinned winningly. “How ever did you guess?”

“Drama students carry with them a sort of confident, even flamboyant, attitude with them that most other studies in the university do not,” Logan said right away. “This often extends to more experimental and ostentatious styles and colors of dress, such as the bright red jacket you sport, and the ease with which you move and sit suggests ballroom training. Clear, well developed speech patterns indicate many years of vocal training, likely both in singing and speech roles that are cultivated by…” He trailed off, realizing that Roman was staring at him with a strange expression.

He cleared his throat. “I apologize. I see now that the question was rhetorical, not an actual request for an answer.”

He quickly opened his laptop and set to work, more to give him something to focus on than a desire to make progress. Mentally, he berated himself for allowing his reckless enthusiasm for explaining things ruin yet another potential connection with his peers. This wasn’t the first time it had happened. There was a reason he had to ignore most of the people in his class. They hated him, and now this charming man would, too.

That made the next words he heard a bit of a shock.

“There’s no need to apologize, Sir Arthur Conan ‘Dorable,” Roman said, smiling softly.

Though still humiliated and pink-cheeked, Logan chanced a look up at the drama kid. This softer, more gentle attitude suddenly felt more genuine. Like Roman was letting down a mask to try to console him. Logan didn’t notice the hesitant smile plucking at the corner of his own lip. “What did you say?”

Roman shrugged. “What you did was impressive, a Study in Scarlet.” Logan blushed a bit more at the nicknames. Scarlet indeed. “You don’t have to be ashamed of it. It’s… remarkable.”

Logan couldn’t help but be slightly impressed by the references, silly though they were. Word play had never really been one of his strong suits, but even he could recognize the value of a well-timed, conversationally associated pun.

Logan nodded, struggling to hide his blush and once again turning back to his work and allowing Roman to do the same.

On the other side of Roman, Virgil slipped a little in his positioning, sliding over almost imperceptibly closer until he was leaning against Roman’s shoulder. Almost but not quite cuddling into the tall man’s side.

…

Patton sniffed, struggling to wipe the tears away. He’d done well at his final, at least he thought so. He’d done his best, but sometimes it was so hard to know if his best was good enough. His teacher had decided that the best thing to do would be to have real practice in a therapy session, so he’d recruited some of the drama students to pretend to be patients.

They’d been given roles and told to react as genuinely as possible so therapists like Patton would be exposed to some of the emotional highs that might come out in a session.

There had been this tall boy in a bright red jacket that had looked nice, but he was assigned to work with a really nice black-haired girl Patton knew. When they’d come out of their fake session, both of them were smiling widely and the teacher was glowing with praise for how well both of them had done. The tall boy had hugged the girl, and it had looked like such a warm, wonderful, lingering hug that Patton had to try really hard not to feel jealous that he didn’t get to experience one like it. He loved hugs.

His teacher had called him next, as well as a pale boy with a wispy mustache and a ruffled green jacket. Patton had been nervous, of course, but he’d studied hard. He tried his best.

And it had been awful!

Nothing he said made the boy react at all! At least, react in a way that wasn’t erratic and horrible. Patton tried to reason with him, he tried to listen, he tried to guide him and coax him along and explain and get the boy to explain and not one single thing made a dent. In the end, his “patient” had this self-satisfied little smirk on his face that he’d worn almost the whole time, and Patton was almost reduced to tears.

He could tell he’d disappointed his teacher. His teacher tried to say that technically, the boy had played an acceptable role, and that sometimes they had patients that didn’t want to listen or change, and that’s something that they would have to deal with in their field and it wasn’t his fault and he would still get a good grade for trying.

Patton still felt like he’d let his teacher down.

So when he rounded the corner, seeking his little secluded place in the library, and he saw the tall drama student from before, smiling as he lounged on the couch, Patton couldn’t help it. He burst into tears and threw himself into the man’s arms.

…

Roman hardly had time to look up to see who else had rounded this increasingly popular corner when they burst into sobs and leapt into his arms. They were really light, so Roman hardly noticed the extra weight, but he didn’t have a chance to get a good look at their face because they’d already buried it in his chest.

His instincts took over. Part of his mind told him that he was now in a dramatic scene, and his job was to comfort his mourning scene partner. He wrapped his arms around the small, trembling frame, stroking his hand through their light, curly hair.

“Hey,” He said gently. “Hey, it’s ok. You’re ok.”

“Do you require assistance?” Logan’s voice said on his right.

“Need me to beat someone up?” A low voice offered on his left.

Roman glanced over sharply to notice that the ruckus had apparently awakened his sleeping couch mate. They blinked slowly at him, their eye makeup making them look a bit like a sleepy raccoon, but they didn’t seem bothered by the fact that three different strangers had co-opted his space while he’d slept.

The dark eyed man looked away, shy, before focusing on the huddling boy in the middle.

“Hey,” the emo one said gently. Soothingly. “Hey, it’s alright. We’ve got you now. Everything is gonna be ok, ok? Breath slow. It’ll help, I promise. In….and out….. In…… and out….” He breathed in and out, seeming to follow a count of some kind, setting the pace for the shaking boy in the middle, who tried his best to follow along.

Roman couldn’t help but suspect the one on his left was someone who was well acquainted with break downs and panic attacks.

In any case, it seemed to help, and the middle boy quickly calmed down. Logan had spirited a fresh water bottle and a pack of nuts out of nowhere and offered them to the sniffling boy, saying something about health benefits and rehydration after loss of fluid via tears. The boy laughed shakily as he accepted them, sipping at the water slowly.

“I’m Roman, by the way,” Roman said, for the sake of both the boy in his arms and the one next to him.

“Yeah, I know,” the latter said, then flushed suddenly. “I-I-I’m Virgil.” He rushed on.

Roman suddenly wondered how long, exactly, the other man had been asleep. And if he’d been asleep when he’d started leaning towards Roman and putting his head on his shoulder. The thought made him flush, too.

“I am Logan,” a voice on the other side of Roman said.

They all looked at the smallest one, still cuddled in Roman’s arms. He squeaked a little at the attention, huddling down further, but he managed to get out a tiny. “P-patton.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Patton,” Logan said. “And you as well, Virgil.”

Virgil tapped two fingers to his temple in a sort of half-salute. “Yeah,” He mumbled. Then, stronger. “So you’re the ones who’ve been stealing my space, huh?”

Roman blushed impossibly deeper. “I-I, we, ah, I mean, I assumed th-that you wouldn’t-”

“Nah, ‘S fine,” Virgil said, voice still low. Roman, though, trained by years of theater, could hear the slightest waver in his voice, as well as a quirk of a smile at his lips. Both were quickly hidden again.

“You don’t mind that I used this space, do you?” Patton piped up, craning his head to look back at Virgil.

At that, a real half smile lit up Virgil’s face, seeming to melt something as he looked at the innocent boy. “Of course not. I mean, technically, it’s not mine, so…” Looking down and trailing off, Virgil seemed to be struggling to keep a smile off his face. Suddenly, he leaned forward and stripped his black and purple jacket off, leaning to wrap it around Patton instead.

Patton squeaked happily and nuzzled down into it, once again reminding Virgil of a puppy. After a moment, he closed his eyes and his breathing began to slow and he seemed to be getting very, very close to drifting off to sleep. The other three couldn’t help but smile at the soft sight.

Virgil yawned. “If that’s all, I’m going back to bed,” He said sleepily. “I’ve got a test in a while, and I didn’t get any sleep last night.”

“Adequate sleep is vital for proper brain function,” Logan put in, sounds of approval at the choice to nap and disapproval at the choice to not sleep the night before both extremely apparent in his voice.

Roman suddenly lifted his arm and swung it around Virgil’s shoulders, pulling him closer.

“You gave away your jacket,” Roman said when Virgil glanced at him questioningly.

Virgil continued to stare.

“Look, it doesn’t mean anything. If you want to be cold, go ahead and-”

“Shut up, Princey,” Virgil said, leaning in and tucking his head to Roman’s shoulder. Roman, smiling, did so. He turned to Logan, opening his other arm.

“You too, Scarlet Study.”

“You already used that one,” Logan said, typing something.

“Constellation Leo-gan,” Virgil suggested from the other side.

“Constellogan,” Roman countered.

“Unicorn Nebulogan,” Patton mumbled, half asleep but still listening.

Logan paused in his work. “How did all of you know that I enjoy learning about astronomy?”

Everyone paused, then Patton broke down into giggles. It was contagious, and soon enough, all of them were caught in the same. Even straight-faced Logan couldn’t help but smirk.

“It seems I’m not the only one who has paid attention to the others who use this space,” Logan observed wryly.

“Didn’t help that you’re all so darn attractive,” Virgil grumbled. Roman laughed heartily at that, but no one denied it.

“Can we meet up here more often?” Patton asked, voice still sleep-heavy, but obviously struggling against it.

Virgil yawned. “Sure.”

“I see no reason why not.”

“It shall be our very own glorious bastion against the assault of education!”

“Roman, education is hardly something we need to defend against. In fact-”

Virgil groaned jokingly. “Quick, Roman, cuddle him before he gets into lecture mode.”

Roman did so, wrapping an arm around Logan and pulling him close to the group. Logan blinked, straightening his glasses, which the sudden motion had made crooked. He seemed to be struggling to find something to say, but the abrupt closeness and warmth made him short circuit briefly.

Virgil smirked. Guess that worked.

Logan sighed and put his computer aside. He guessed he’d studied a sufficient amount to do well at the next exam. Besides, though he’d never really tested it before, human contact was supposed to be beneficial in boosting of oxytocin and serotonin levels, which would aid in relaxation and focus during a stressful exam. At least, that’s what he told himself when Patton crawled over so he was in Logan’s lap and wrapped his arms around his neck, nuzzling his face into the crook of his shoulder.

“There’s a blanket in my bag,” Patton mumbled to Roman and Virgil, wrapping Virgil’s hoodie so it covered both him and Logan. “I always carry one with me.”

Roman, with the longer reach, retrieved it and draped it over Virgil and himself, pulling the emo boy closer and chuckling. “You’re freezing.”

“Yeah, well you’re basically on fire, Blushing Beauty,” Virgil mumbled, wrapping his admittedly cold hands around Roman’s warmer ones.

They both listened as Logan gave up on his half audible stuttering and finally found the brain power to wrap his arms around Patton, bringing the small boy even closer and sighing happily.

Roman leaned forward as Virgil leaned into him, using his free hand to tuck some stray hair behind the emo’s ear.

“I’m trying to sleep.” Virgil complained half heartedly with his eyes closed.

Roman smiled, pressing his lips gently against the other’s brow.

“I’m trying not to.” He whispered.

#sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #mostly fluff #some angst #comforting #LAMP #Finals week #CALM

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b-o-s-t-o-n · 7 years

Text

Infatuated- Part II

“This is going to sound crazy, but... from the moment I first set eyes on you I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.” -Leigh Fallon

3 months.

That's how long it'd been since Belle Hopkins had joined the BAU and turned Spencer's life completely upside down.

He could never tell her that though, because she had a boyfriend.

And because she was everything and he was nothing.

She was so small and delicate, yet so strong and capable at the same time. Everything she did was done with such grace that he would find himself laying awake at night wondering how it was possible for a person to so closely resemble a flower.

Belle had quickly made a name for herself in the FBI because along with her beauty, she also held knowledge that made even Reid think twice about certain things. The women on the team took her under their wing almost immediately, inviting her to their Friday evening girls nights and putting her in their text group chat. They looked at her as a little sister because of her youth, but never treated her as such, because her independence and wisdom were well beyond her years. They'd take care of her in the way that they'd take care of each other, but they'd never baby her.

She became friends with Rossi and Morgan almost as quickly as she had with the girls. Morgan joked around with her with the same type of ease that he did with Penelope.

Reid knew Morgan would never look at her as anything more than a friend, but he still found himself filled with jealousy every time he called her "Tinker-Belle" or "Small Stuff".

Everyone could tell that Hotch liked her, too. He'd been smiling a lot more in the past three months than he had been in the years that Reid had been here.

Belle had that effect on people. She could make you smile on days when you had every reason not to. Just her presence alone could give you the extra push you needed to get through the day. She didn't have to say a word to make you feel better. But when she did speak, it was like listening to classical music on a drizzly day. Her voice was the purest velvet and she spoke with such joy and intelligence that Reid often found himself getting lost in her words. It was easy to get lost when around Belle.

But, she was all that, and Spencer was... Spencer.

Plus, she had a boyfriend.

A boyfriend who she called everyday during lunch just to tell him she loved him. A boyfriend who she owned a cat with, who was named after their favorite hockey player. A boyfriend who got to kiss her soft cheek and hold her every night, while Spencer hadn't even worked up the courage to touch her.

Since that day back in September when Belle first arrived at the BAU and he had rejected her handshake, he still hadn't touched any part of her. You could tell that she respected his need for personal space, but god, he didn't want it.

Reid wanted to be around her all the time. To sit next to her on the jet and to let her fall asleep on his shoulder when they had far away cases. But, he had screwed up on her first day and now she rarely came near him.

They were still friends, though. She always made sure of that. She would try to include him in conversations when the whole team was talking about something that he clearly had no experience with. She would always listen to him ramble off statistics and would shush anyone who groaned when it seemed he would never stop. She even learned his coffee order for the early mornings when she'd go to Starbucks before work and get something for everyone.

Like he said, she was everything and Reid was nothing.

"Briefing room in 10 minutes," JJ's voice woke Spencer up from the nap that he didn't know he was taking.

This was the third time this week that he'd fallen asleep at his desk. He hadn't been sleeping much lately.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked as they walked to the briefing room together.

Reid shrugged him off and went to his seat even though he knew he wasn't convincing him.

"Fine, don't tell me, but you know I'm here if you need me, right?" Morgan said while taking the seat next to Reid.

Spencer sighed.

"I know, thanks Morgan," he said genuinely.

He meant it, he really did. Reid appreciated the way Derek looked after him, especially since he knew he had problems with sleeping in the past. But how was Reid suppose to tell him he wasn't sleeping well because he was completely distracted by thoughts of one of their coworkers?

He couldn't.

Hotch stopped Reid's thoughts from wandering further onto Belle when he walked into the room to begin briefing them on the new case.

"As you've probably heard on the news by now, there's a local pilot killing innocent families right here in Virginia. Lucky for us, that means we won't be flying anywhere. Garcia has more details for us," he said as he took the seat next to Rossi.

"Right, here we go," Penelope said as she made her way to the front of the room.

She clicked her little button and a picture of a caucasian family popped up on the screen.

"Fitzgerald family; Michael, Ruth, Taylor, and Winnie; all killed while on a private air tour this weekend. This is the fourth family to be killed in this way. Apparently, the pilot convinces them to go on a tour of the city in his aircraft, but, here's where it gets weird. Once in the air, the pilot jumps ship with a parachute and leaves the family to fend for themselves. As you can see, none have done very well on their own. Kinda messed up if you ask me," she finished as she pressed the button again, causing a picture of the remnants of an airplane to show up.

"What the fuck," Belle whispered as they all took in the picture in front of them.

What type of person continuously crashes planes for fun?

"Yeah, I know," Penelope started. "What we know so far is that all the families have been families of four. One mom, one dad, one son, and one daughter. All from Virginia, and all seemingly happy."

"Do they know where he's getting these planes?" JJ asked, looking up at Penelope.

"Nope, local PD hasn't figured that out yet. And because of the gruesome crashes-"

"All the evidence was burned," Reid finished for her. This was definitely not like most of their cases.

The team pulled up to the local police station in two black SUV's. Hotch shook hands with the man in charge and gave everyone their orders.

"JJ and Morgan, I need you here with me. Rossi, go with Emily to the Fitzgerald's house. Reid and Hopkins, make your way to the local airport and see if you can find anything."

They all nodded and went their separate ways. Reid let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he climbed into the SUV with Belle.

"Reid?" she said quietly from the drivers seat.

Spencer looked up at her in confusion.

"This is embarrassing, but can you drive instead? I'm not from here so I don't know where I'm going," Belle said without making eye contact with him.

He could tell she was genuinely embarrassed.

"Yeah," he said as he unbuckled and opened the door.

He made his way around the car to the drivers side as she was getting out.

"Thanks," she mumbled as she hopped to the ground.

The SUV's they had made her seem even smaller than she was.

Reid got into the drivers seat as Belle scooted around the car. He watched as she effortlessly jumped into the car and reached for her seatbelt. Once she was buckled, she turned to look at him. He couldn't help but stare at the way her hair clung to her face from being blown around by the crisp winter air.

"Reid?" She asked for the second time.

"Yeah?" He said, staring into her green eyes.

"Are you gonna start the car?" she asked, a slight grin appearing on her face.

"Oh, right," he mumbled as he felt his face turn bright red.

He turned his gaze to the road ahead of them as he started the ignition and put the car in drive.

He didn't look at Belle the rest of the way to the airport, though he could feel her eyes occasionally falling upon his still blushing face.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminalminds #matthewgraygubler #spencer x reader #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction

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lesbianlametron · 7 years

Text

Bokuroo Week Day 4

Prompt: Improvising

Title: Spontaneous Saturday

Rating: T

Summary: Bokuto wakes up Kuroo one Saturday in the summer for a day trip together. They had both been busy lately with their respective jobs and Bokuto is dying for time alone with Kuroo. He packs a bag, but other than that he has no plans. Kuroo’s just along for the ride. Graphic designer!Kuroo, P.E. Teacher!Bokuto Post-college, married, domesticated fluff.

Kuroo was sleeping as he should be for it being barely seven-thirty am and he was content to keep it that way. His arm flopped over to the other side of the bed, blindly searching for his husband, but was only met with empty sheets. He groaned when he rolled over and looked at the time. It was way early and he was looking forward to a lazy Saturday morning in bed. Then again, that wasn’t Bokuto’s style. He was up at the crack of dawn, happy and energetic as ever. Bokuto, like Kuroo, also was a complete night owl and would stay up into the early morning just talking or partying. Because of this, Bokuto was super fond of afternoon naps. That fact always made Kuroo laugh and joke that Bokuto was secretly still a baby at twenty-six years old. Well, no matter if Bokuto was awake, Kuroo was still planning on sleeping until at least eleven.

Bokuto walked into their room, his hair still damp from the shower, with a towel around his waist. “Tetsu~ time to get up.” He called out to his husband in a soft voice.

“No. It’s seven-thirty and a Saturday and it’s summer. Fuck you.”

Bokuto chuckled, not even a bit fazed by Kuroo’s animosity. He was used to his by now. “Good morning to you too, love. Come on, I want to do something fun today. We’ve both busy with work and I want to have a date day.”

“We can, but just later.” Kuroo mumbled into his pillow, trying to hide his smile. It was sweet that Bokuto wanted the two of them to spend the day together. Kuroo had been working late nights and Bokuto was always gone when he woke up in morning. His company had just finished a big ad campaign that he had to do all the graphic designing for, being the team’s lead designer. Today was the first Saturday in a while that Kuroo wasn’t working on a project.

“Awww, come on, we’re going to get breakfast. I made you coffee~.”

“Still no.”

“TETSU, you love breakfast!”

“Stop shouting…”

“Don’t make me force you to wake up.” Bokuto warned as he pulled on a pair of shorts.

“Go ahead and try.”

Bokuto chuckled to himself and walked over to bed. He grabbed a hold of the comforter and sheets. Before Kuroo could think of fighting back, Bokuto ripped the covers off the bed. “Rise and shine, my beautiful Tetsu.”

“I hate you.”

Bokuto crawled on top of him and leaned down giving him a soft, sensual kiss.

“I hate you a little less.” Kuroo’s eyes were still closed as Bokuto peppered his face with tiny kisses that tickled his cheeks. Kuroo weakly tried to push him away.

“I promise you’ll have fun today. Come on, please, indulge me. Tomorrow, we’ll do whatever you want.”

Kuroo groaned and sat up. “Fine, I’m up. And if I don’t have fun today, I’m blaming you.”

Bokuto slid off the bed and placed a mug of coffee into Kuroo’s hands. “I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kuroo murmured before taking a long, slow sip, more to enjoy the coffee, but a little in protest against Bokuto.

“I love you.”

“I know, I’m up.”

“I love you.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes catching on that Bokuto wouldn’t stop until he said it back. “I love you too, you goof.”

Bokuto grinned at him and Kuroo nearly felt like he needed sunglasses to shield him from the brightness. “Good, now go shower.”

Kuroo grumbled more as he got up and wandered into the bathroom. As much as he hated waking up, he knew Bokuto was right, whatever Bokuto had planned, it would be fun. He took a couple long gulps of coffee before stepping into the warm spray. The coffee combined with the shower was starting to wake him up. He’d still need another cup at breakfast to be fully functional, but this would at least get him awake enough to get into Bokuto’s car.

When he walked back into the bedroom he saw Bokuto packing a bag that included both athletic shows and swimsuits. “Are we going to the beach?”

Bokuto shrugged and put a couple towels into the bag. “Maybe. I haven’t figured that out yet.”

“Then what are we doing?”

“Improvising.”

Kuroo shook his head and rummaged through his drawers for shorts and a tank top. “Is it hot out?”

“Mmhm. It’s supposed to be today.” Bokuto turned around to face Kuroo and slipped a pair of sunglasses onto his head. “I remember you broke yours so I went out and got you a pair.”

Bokuto had turned around so he didn’t catch the fond smile that spread across Kuroo’s face. Bokuto really did think of everything and did sweet things for the ones he cared about without even thinking twice. Kuroo dressed and walked up behind Bokuto and pressed a kiss onto Bokuto’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Of course. You ready?”

“Mmhm.”

Bokuto slung the duffle over his should and took Kuroo’s hand, leading him out the door. “So we really have no plans?” Kuroo asked as he slid into the passenger seat.

“Beyond breakfast, nope. I thought it’d be kinda fun just to drive and stop when we felt like it and do whatever we come across.” Bokuto shrugged again as he started driving them to their favorite breakfast place. It annoyed Kuroo a bit not to have a plan, but he trusted his boyfriend. Bokuto would occasionally get into these moods where he was feeling completely spontaneous and Kuroo would just strap himself in for the ride. Sometimes it was nice to just not have to think everything out for once. Plus, whatever happened, would probably make a killer story to tell their friends later.

Bokuto pulled into a parking space and led Kuroo into restaurant. Kuroo was still sleepy and hanging heavily on Bokuto’s arm. There was almost nothing more endearing to Bokuto than a tired Kuroo. It was part of the reason he woke Kuroo up sometimes. He hardly felt like walking because of his lack of engery and was very clingy. They sat down together and ordered food. Kuroo was quiet as he usually was before his second cup of coffee, but it didn’t bother Bokuto in the slightest.

“Dude, we started a volleyball unit this week.” Bokuto started, always filled with stories from his work. In the summers, when school wasn’t in session Bokuto ran a recreation program during the days to promote kids getting into sports. He loved the kids in his normal classes, but these kids actually wanted to be there. Well, there were some that their moms forced them because they worked during the day.

Kuroo looked up from his coffee and smiled. He was glad Bokuto was able to still be involved with volleyball. It surprised both of them, but teaching P.E. and sports gave him almost as much joy as playing used to. He knew Bokuto missed it, they both did, but stopped playing after college. Bokuto could have gone pro, but fell in love with teaching grade school P.E. Kuroo never really wanted to go pro and loved his job too. “Oh yeah? I bet you’re excited about that.”

“It’s the best! There’s this kid there, a 5th grader, he’s like the baby version of Hinata.” Bokuto had to pause to hold back his laughter. Kuroo knew it had probably had to be something with the kid getting hit because Bokuto wanted to laugh, but knew he shouldn’t. “I swear this kid is like a ball magnet. I’m trying to teach him how to receive, but the kid always manages to get hit in the face. Even when he’s not playing. It takes all my restraint not to laugh along with the kids.”

Kuroo chuckled a little and started eating his pancakes when they came. Bokuto French toast because they each loved both and never could choose one. He plated his second pancake for Bokuto and Bokuto did that with his as well. This was a tradition between them and Bokuto was a complete sap and it always made him smile. “I bet he’s nearly as tall as Shrimpy when he was in high school.”

Bokuto snorted and nodded. “He is. Kageyama was sad when Hinata finally grew taller in college, I think he had a thing for their height difference. They’re close to the same height now.”

“Oh yeah, you went in saw their game last weekend when I was working. The Toyko team is in the finals this year, right?” Bokuto had more free time than Kuroo, especially in the summers, and was also better at keeping in touch with their friends than Kuroo was. Kuroo kept in touch with Tsukishima, Kenma, and Akaashi mostly, but Bokuto was always seeing the friends outside of their direct circle.

“Mmhm.” He murmured with his mouth full and Kuroo rolled his eyes. He was about to scold his boyfriend, but Bokuto remembered to swallow before finishing his sentence. “Hinata was great as ‘The Little Giant 2.0’, but he’s a ton better now that he’s got the height on him. Kags still has a few inches on him, but the kid can still jump like no other. I don’t know how the kid still has all the energy.”

Kuroo chuckled a little. “I bet you could rival him there, you’re inhuman in the mornings.”

Bokuto laughed as well, “Maybe, but shit, I’m old now.”

“Babe, don’t say that because then I’m old too.”

Bokuto finished eating and grinned cheekily at him. “Babe, we’ve been out of college for 4 years now.”

“Don’t!”

Bokuto laughed as Kuroo glared at him over his last few bites. “You’ll always be sexy to me, Tetsu, no matter how old you get.” He leaned across the tabled and motioned for Kuroo to come closer. Kuroo rolled his eyes and met Bokuto halfway for a kick peck.

“You loser. I don’t think you’ll be saying when I’m 80 and wrinkly.”

“Yes, I will because I’ll be the same and you’ll still love me.”

Kuroo pursed his lips together and rubbed his chin, being over dramatic with thinking about it. “I don’t know…I’m really only with you because of your body.”

“Uh huh. I’m sure it was my body that kept us together for eight years.”

“Yeah in seven I’m going to divorce you for a younger hotter version.” Kuroo grinned and nodded to the bill sitting on the table between them. “Oh, and you’re paying for waking me up early.”

“I thought by now you’d be used to getting up early and I was already planning on it.”

“No, I’ll never become a morning person, I’ve just learned how to cope with them.”

“Mornings are not a disease, love.” Bokuto chuckled and took his card up to register to pay and Kuroo followed after, only holding his hand this time. His second cup had woken him up a little more and he was more coherent.

“Says you.” Bokuto shook his head and kissed Kuroo’s hand. They walked back to the car content from their breakfast. Bokuto was eager to start their journey and Kuroo still thought it was too early.

“Okay pick a direction, and we’ll go.”

“You’re really serious about this.” Kuroo raise an eyebrow at him.

“I’m keeping things interesting, darling. We’re going to have adventures well into the future.”

Kuroo played with his ring absently as the thought, “Okay, East, but can you even go East without a GPS?”

Bokuto stuck his tongue out. “You’re mean, Tetsu.”

“I’m keeping things interesting.” Kuroo mocked him with a smirk. “I can’t be too nice to you and make you think that I actually like you.”

“Uh huh. Besides, my car tells me cardinal directions anyway.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”

Bokuto playfully shoved his shoulder and put the car in drive. “East, it is. Keep your eyes open. I know you can sleep anywhere, kitten, but I want your participation in this.”

“Ughhhhh… but I was totally planning on napping for a little while.” Kuroo groaned, teasing him. The coffee would keep him up now. He was already up now, it wasn’t being up in the morning that really bothered him, but the act of actually waking up and starting the day. “Fiiiiiiiine and knowing you, we’ll probably be taking a nap mid-day, you old owl.” Bokuto glared at him out the corner of his eye. “That’s what you get for calling me kitten.”

“Aw come, it had to do with the cat reference.” Bokuto grinned and turned on the radio. “Just tell when you see somewhere you want to stop.” They drove for a few miles, leaving the city behind and both were singing along with the radio. Bokuto’s voice did not match the tune and was louder. Kuroo actually could match the pitch, but he wasn’t actually confident in his singing voice. Eventually they came across a little town and Bokuto pointed out a foreign movie theater.

“Let’s go.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow. “You’re aware we’re not going to understand any of it if they don’t have subtitles.”

Bokuto shrugged. “I thought it would be funnier to make up the lines ourselves.” He pulled into a parking space and quickly got out. Kuroo shrugged and followed him. It did sound pretty entertaining.

“As long as you buy me popcorn, I’m up for anything.”

“You say that like it really matters. What’s mine is yours.”

“It does, because I make more than you.”

Bokuto glared at him. “Mean. It’s not my fault, teachers aren’t payed as much as they deserve.”

Kuroo wrapped an arm around Bokuto’s waist and kissed his cheek. “True, you’re great at what you do and you do deserve more.” With the promised popcorn, they sat in the very last row so they wouldn’t annoy every as much with their whispering.

“You better not fall asleep, Tetsu.”

Kuroo squeezed his shoulder and nodded. “I promise.” The lights dimmed and the movie started without subtitles like they had thought.

“What language do you think it’s in?” Bokuto whispered.

Kuroo actually took the question seriously. If it was Spanish, Italian, or Portuguese, it would be hard to distinguish between them because he knew they were similar. It didn’t seem like any of those. “I’d guess German or Swedish.”

Bokuto chuckled a little. “You took that seriously. I should have known.”

“Of course. That was actually a logical question.”

“Okay, I’ll be the male lead and you could be the female.”

Kuroo narrowed his eyes and stole the popcorn away from him. “Why do I have to be the girl?”

“Cuz we both know you’re the girlier one. You have such a beautiful slender frame, babe.”

“I’m leaving.”

Bokuto kissed his cheek. “Good luck getting home.”

“I could afford an Uber.”

“Will you play along?”

Kuroo sighed and scooted closer to his husband again. “All right. Your line.”

“Giiiiirl I see you there looking all fine.” Bokuto whispered as the main character saw the lead female for the first time.

“How dare you! I’m not some piece of ass for you salivate over.”

Bokuto covered his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh louder than he anticipated. He was at least trying not to piss off the few other people that were watching. “You really went there.”

“Uh of course, babe, you can’t just objectify women like that. They have rights.”

“Well,” Bokuto continued in a whisper with the character’s line. “I am the richest most eligible bachelor in town. You’d be lucky to have me.”

“You act like that will make up for your terrible personality.” The continued with the lines, Kuroo was the most committed, adding voices for the new characters that entered. Bokuto had to contain his laughter which each new voice Kuroo added and still keeping his voice low enough not to annoy everyone. Like most romantic dramas, it ended with the couple getting together and most of the conflict had been resolved. They understood that much at least. Kuroo placed his hand on his chest to deliver his last impactful line.

“Just so you know, this kiss means nothing. I still hate your personality. You tried to change, but you never fully got there. This will by my goodbye to you.”

Bokuto took Kuroo’s free hand and looked him in the eye. “Please, Sarah, I need you. You make me a better person.”

“Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” Kuroo delivered his line and Bokuto laughed, letting himself fully laugh now that credits were rolling. They got weird looks from the couple a few rows in front of them. “Apparently that wasn’t an ending you should have laughed at.”

Bokuto shrugged. “Oh well. I liked our version better and of course you wouldn’t make it a happy ending.”

“Duh. That would have been boring.”

“Your lesbian ending did catch me off guard. Especially because the guy kissed her again after that line.”

“That’s what made it perfect.” They stood up and excited the theater. “What next?”

“Probably lunch of some sort?”

Kuroo shrugged. “Sounds good. We should pick something up here and drive somewhere to have a picnic.”

“I’m down.”

After lunch and a quick nap under an oak tree, they drove until it neared sunset. They talked, laughed, and sung along with the radio to their favorite songs. Kuroo couldn’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed. It was definitely what he needed after the month he’d had at work. Bokuto had been happy because it was summer, but Kuroo could tell that Bokuto was happier today than he had been in a while. He knew Bokuto got lonely when he worked a lot.

“Hey, Kou.”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for today.”

Bokuto reached over and took Kuroo’s hand, kissing Kuroo’s wedding ring. “Of course.”

“No, I mean it. I really got lucky with you. I hope we do grow old and we still have days like this.” Kuroo squeezed Bokuto’s hand and smiled warmly at him. “I know I’ve been working at lot and that’s hard on you. Sometimes I still can’t believe the days we go without seeing each other still make you so sad. It makes me happy to know you love being around me that much. I promise, at least once a month, we’ll have designated Kou and Testu days.”

“Tetsu…Hey! We made it to the beach. Did you know going East would eventually bring us to the beach?”

Kuroo shook his head. “Honestly no.”

“Let’s go watch the sunset.”

“That’s such a cliché date move.”

“But you want to?”

“Hell yeah.” Kuroo took off his shoes as the car came to a stop. He ran off to get his feet in the sand as soon as possible. There wasn’t much Kuroo loved more than beach and of course Bokuto. Although he didn’t show it much, work stressed him out. He never wanted to put that on Bokuto. Nothing calmed like the sound of the crashing waves and the gritty sand between his toes.

Bokuto smiled and watched his husband running ahead. Kuroo didn’t have to tell him, he knew anyway. The beach was just what he needed to fully relax. He grabbed their towels and spread them out close to the water. He sat down first and patted the space beside him. Kuroo sat down and Bokuto started rubbing his shoulders. He sighed and closed his eyes, focusing on Bokuto’s fingers as he worked out all hard spaces of tension.

“Tetsu. I’m glad we did this too. I know you needed it as much as I wanted it. You can come to me when you’re stressed. I know even when you don’t tell me. Your texts are shorter and you leave your clothes on the floor more often. You stay up later and sit on our balcony when you think I’m asleep, but I leave you alone because I don’t want disturb you.”

Kuroo smiled and looked up at the sky. “You’re right, I’m sorry. And please come bother me if you’re up. Sometimes I can’t shut off my brain.”

“I know, baby.”

“Do you want to rent out a suite somewhere just for the night? We could go crazy on the stupid overpriced snacks in the room.”

Bokuto hugged Kuroo around the middle when he finished the massage. “Definitely. I want to make at least one more stop before that though.”

“Okay.” They sat and watched the sunset, neither speaking because they didn’t need to. As much as they loved talking, the silences between them were just as welcome. They took in the colors of the sunset and watched the sun’s light bounce off the gentle waves. Both let all the tension leave their bodies. For that moment, everything was perfect.

Bokuto pressed kisses onto Kuroo’s neck, each meaning something a little different. The long ones told him, he was loved and cherished. The short ones said ‘sometimes I just like how my lips feel against your skin’. The ones with tongue and teeth said, ‘I find you sexier and prettier than anyone’. Bokuto didn’t need to put them into real words, Kuroo understood anyway. They had always been like that, more alike than different. Kenma may have known Kuroo longer and Akaashi may have had the perfect formula to bring Bokuto out of one of his moods. But no one could read their thoughts without words like they could for each other. No one else had their bond or could deal with their strange tangents. They weren’t perfect, but no couple could ever be.

With the windows, down they drove away from the beach and listened sounds of the new town they were in. Both waiting for something that would catch their attention. Bokuto heard it first. There was a bar down the street with live music. “Let’s end the day there, have a drink and listen to some music.”

“Sounds good.”

Bokuto parked the car and they walked hand-in-hand into the bar. When they entered the main room, they realized it wasn’t just live music but an open mic night. Bokuto looked at Kuroo and his eyes sparkled with an idea.

“No.” Kuroo protested, before Bokuto could even ask.

“But your voice is so pretty, Tetsu.”

“No. It’s for you only.” Kuroo walked up to the bar, finding it a perfect excuse to physically leave their conversation. He bought them both drinks and joined Bokuto at their table. He knew Bokuto wasn’t going to let it go. He had just pulled out the puppy dog eyes. “No.”

“Baaabe! For me?”

“You think you can just bat your pretty gold eyes at me and say ‘for me’ and I’ll do anything.” Kuroo glared at him, but he already felt his resolve slipping.

Bokuto didn’t waver with his pleading eyes even when he took sips of his drink. “I know you write songs occasionally. You’re really poetic when you want to be.”

“I don’t even have my guitar. Hah. That was the one thing you didn’t plan for…” Kuroo thought about it for a minute. He had been too tired this morning to see what Bokuto had really packed in the car. His guitar really could be in the car. “You didn’t!”

Bokuto grinned dangerously and Kuroo’s face paled. “I thought maybe I’d get you to play for me at one point.”

“I hate you again.”

“Stay right there.”

“Kou!” Kuroo protested and groaned as Bokuto ran out to the car. He was doomed. Bokuto came back with a smug look on his face and went to talk to the owner instead of coming directly back to the table.

“You’re on in ten, babe. After the next two.” Bokuto took his seat next to Kuroo and gave him a kiss.

“If they boo me off the stage, I’m blaming you and then divorcing you.”

“And people say I’m the over dramatic one.”

“You better get me another drink.”

Bokuto laughed and waved the waitress over for refills. “I know you’ll be great.”

Kuroo watched the next two acts. The first one wasn’t bad, a little pitchy at times, but her piano skills were fantastic. The second was amazing and Kuroo could feel his palms start to sweat. People were cheering and clapping along through the whole song. The applause was loud and Kuroo glared at Bokuto.

“I know you’ll rock it. Take a deep breath, you’re on, kitten.” Bokuto winked at him and pushed him toward the stage.

Kuroo situated himself and tried not think about tripping on the stage. “Well,” he addressed the audience. “I’m only here because my ass of husband convinced me. And because it’s the anniversary of when we originally started dating.”

Bokuto gasped and his eyes went wide in surprised. “BABE! I thought you forgot.”

“Never. Just because it isn’t our wedding anniversary doesn’t mean I’d forgot the way you asked me out at training camp. You were a blushing, stuttering mess and I was just as in love with you then as I am now eight years later, if not more so. This one is for you.”

The crowd clapped politely and a few girls had cooed at their words. Kuroo closed his eyes and started his song. It was an original and the words took Bokuto’s breath away. Kuroo knew how to write the notes within his range, but his lyrics are what really sold the song. They were romantic and bordered on being cheesy. It was their story in song from. Kuroo eventually opened his eyes, but he only focused on Bokuto. The couple of times Kuroo would switch into his falsetto, Bokuto got chills. It was as if Kuroo was only singing to him, but other people finally got hear Kuroo’s gift.

Kuroo took a bow when he finished and the applause was the loudest it had been all night. Kuroo was blushing, but he was pleasantly surprised by the reaction. “I told you, you were good.” Bokuto kissed him when he returned. Kuroo pulled his husband close, not caring that they were in public. He was still riding on the adrenaline from the performance and kissed Bokuto will all his pent up engery. It was the hottest kiss they had in a while.

“I think we have our winner!” The owner over the microphone and Bokuto and Kuroo separated in surprise. He was pointed directly at them and they both stared at each other in surprise.

“There was a contest?”

“I suppose so, go up there, champ.”

Kuroo went back on stage, blushing again. Bokuto had always been the one who drew attention, he was the ace in high school and college. People always raved about Bokuto’s abilities, that Kuroo wasn’t used to the attention being on him. He didn’t care because he would agree with them.

“Congratulations, you’ve won a full spa package at the hotel next door for you and a partner.”

Kuroo looked out to Bokuto and they grinned. Today would definitely being going in Bokuto’s journal. He hoped Kuroo didn’t know about it, but when they were gray and old he didn’t want to forget anything. He wrote down their adventures so he could keep them forever. They saw a foreign film they didn’t understand, had a picnic lunch, enjoyed a sunset, and now they’d won a free spa package by accident. All they needed was something unbelievably wild to happen, but maybe next time.

#bokuroo week #bokuroo week 2017 #haikyuu!!#bokuroo #improvising #this is late again #i'm trying to work around my school schedule #will eventually be uploaded to AO3 #barely edited #sorry about that #my writing

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newhologram · 7 years

Text

2016 diary of a spoonie

Rereading my diary from 2016 for some perspective (not ready to open my 2015 one, I know it’s going to be even more difficult). Remembering some mental places I've been and that I made it through them and I’m still here.

Here are some parts I'm okay with sharing, hopefully it will help someone realize they are not alone and that as difficult as things get, there is so much more to life than being sick even if we have to deal with it often in isolation.

It’s also good to keep in mind that when we have illnesses that affect our brain/mood, it can drastically warp our perception of the world, our lives, and ourselves. That’s why I started trying to keep a diary, to record these moments when I’m not myself, when my illnesses make me think things that aren’t true, makes me have horrible tunnel vision, and then be able to look back on them when I’m not in that mental state and try to get an understanding of it.

(warning for suicide mentions in some excerpts because Mr. Brain can be kinda bananas sometimes, it’s pretty heavy and a lot of it is me scribbling when dissociating pretty badly so I say some weird things)

This is also probably a cautionary tale to NOT BE LIKE ME, I’m a bad spoonie. I can’t believe I forced myself to have such a full schedule, no wonder my body broke down by December.

1.5.16 8:49 PM: Everything in my life is so turbulent. Why? I feel like someone cut and pasted me here.

1.19.16 2:51 AM: I barely slept. Puked a little, dry heaved a lot, sweated so much. Cried my eyes out in the shower.

I have to leave for work in 2 hours. I hope it's not a long day.

I don't know where this mood swing came from. I feel so weak. I was just crying and crying because I can't stand myself. I can't stand being me. I feel so alone and lost. I feel so stupid.

3:18 AM: Dry heaved again. I'm shivering and I feel horrible. Why does this happen to me? I thought I was done with this. I feel like I'm shriveling up.

What's going to happen to me?

1.20.16 10:56 AM: Yesterday was rough. First depressive mood swing of this year. I suddenly felt like no one would ever love me. That I’m just an immature slob. A burden. A loser. Dirty.

I don’t even have a best friend. I’m not close with anyone. I can’t organize my room or my life. I just sort of work, play games, and sleep. I’m so lonely. I’m stressed and overwhelmed. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I live in a fantasy world but really I’m just alone here in my room.

I feel so pathetic. I feel so stupid. Who could ever love me?

1.26.16 4:59 PM: Wow! Worked 7am-3:18pm. Didn’t see Miss Piggy. Again!

But since I got out so early I was able to run and errand, do yoga, aerobics, read, and stuff.

Now is definitely meditation time but I’m worried I will fall asleep. Too tired to bathe/eat.

Going to open my heart chakra! Yay!

1.31.16 5:57 PM: Holy stress. Still no word about the shoot. Aaand there was some asshole.

Gotta let it go. They don’t dictate my day. I do. Only me. I am in charge. No one else.

2.3.16 10:48 PM: No spoons for laundry or putting clothes up. I desperately need to do that. My room is overflowing with clothes.

BAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(drawing of a newlamb)

たりないよ　(it’s not enough!)

2.5.16 10:54 PM: I feel so strange. Like I’m a thousand lifetimes apart from New. I don’t know who that person is.

I guess it’s okay not to know.

Right?

2.14.16 1:15 AM: よふかししてるの (I’m stayin’ up late)

Um... too much mental energy. Body is done and tired but my mind all よ～～～～～～～～～～！

Kinda woozy today. But I got FFX-2 running so I’ve been doing that. Maybe too much.

2.21.16 10:30 PM: Oops, 4 days of not writing in here.

I didn’t work Thursday. Friday I went to Hollywood w/ ______. We saw Frozen, she gave me my presents, we had tea and a chicken burger at Chado tea room and we goofed around doing touristy things. Had so much fun, I really missed her.

I was so tired I fell asleep at 8pm. I woke up at 3am but I was having so much fun sleeping that I just went back to sleep until 8am.

2.24.16 8:22 PM: I was having an okay day. I was doing okay. Right now I want to not exist. Two auditions tomorrow. What am I gonna do?

I wish I was never born.

I don’t feel much. Now would be a good time to do it. But I don’t want to hurt my dad.

Wish I had someone to talk to.

I’m so done. So done. So alone.

If I died a lot of people would be really sad but it wouldn’t change much.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be me. I hate who I am. I hate me. I’m too stupid to work retail. I can’t do math. I can’t edit, I was too stupid for editing school. My body can’t work or I get sick.

I don’t know how I’ll be able to support myself. I can’t rely on my dream. It might not come true. I’ll be 30 in 4 years—will I still be living here, relying on my dad? I’m a joke. I’m not a real adult or person.

My cats would be sad if I died. Would they understand? I don’t want to hurt them either but I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

I’m not okay right now but I have no one. I’m all alone.

A few tears came out.

That’s all I have.

2.25.16 1:12 PM: I’m so sad right now. The pain is already bad. I don’t have money for more edibles. I had to cancel one audition because I was too sick. Too depressed. Too much anxiety.

I went to Sprouts and very nearly had a freak out. I tried to meditate. I can’t focus on editing. I feel trapped. I feel like the walls are caving in.

How am I gonna get out of this one? I’ve done it before. Time is crawling.

Bad pain spreading. Bad thoughts. bad urges. I need distractions but the problem is that I’m too depressed to actually focus on anything fun.

I can barely cry. It’s like a blockage.

FUUUUUCK!!!

(lots of scribbles)

2.26.16 12:05 PM: Much better today. Body is tired but I’m not depressed. Nope! Had a shoyuu tamago. Mm! It’s still really early but I think it’s time for a meditation nap.

3.2.16 10:03 PM: It’s March wtf... okay.

3.11.16 1:46 PM: I soar. I am worthy. My dreams will come true.

3.13.16 2:51 PM: It’s Nikki’s birthday.

I feel like all I do is edit, play games, RP, watch cartoons... :(

Even though I love that stuff, it doesn’t make me money. It makes me happy, so happy, but. Where am I going in my life?

I just feel so fragile I’m worried that if one day, my family snaps at me and says how they hate having to support me, that I won’t be able to take it. That I’ll run away, or worse. I’ve had some suicidal ideations lately. I feel like my family hates me. I know it’s silly but. Maybe at the very least they resent me.

:( I wish I wasn’t like this.

3.21.16 1:42 PM, Monday: It’s so hard not to feel like he [my dad] hates me. I keep having horrible dreams about fighting with him or other family like my sister. :(

Things will work out. Things will pay off.

Lots of pain right now. I have so much to do always. Always trying, always in pain, never have money.

Caught int he swirl.

I am something and someone.

3.28.16 1:19 PM: If I get that job it’s going to be really difficult to balance with bg work but what choice do I have? I can’t afford my bills right now.

(written out weekly schedule with a drawing of Bill crying and saying, “you can do it”)

I can do this. I can make it happen.

4.4.16 8:37 AM: Bad morning anxiety again. I kept waking up with my heart pounding. Dry-heaved a bit at 7am.

So much going on in my head. Wish I could stop it.

4.29.16 8:45 PM: Ugh!! MOOD DOWN, CAN’T FOCUS!! SAD!!

5.29.16 12:25 PM: Wow. Really been in la la land. Mood crazy. My period came 11 days late and I am 900% sure I felt a cyst pop.

I haven’t been meditating... I really need to get back into it so I won’t fall apart. also I lost out on 3 bookings, ugh. :( It’s just a dry spell. It will get better.

I just want to cry in bed. A lot.

6.13.16 8:52 PM: Whoops. I have no memory of actually writing that last post.

Still having a hard time with this summer depression... Trying to hang in there.

I had 2 insane customers stress me out the past 2 shifts. Shoots are still only about 1/week...

I’ve been keeping busy despite my health though. Been editing and stuff a lot, though rest breaks get me down.

BUT SO. I moved my room around. Don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner.

(drawing of my room before and after)

So much nicer. I think I’ve been sleeping better. And now there’s not all this junk space under my bed or to the side. Love it!

Well so... Friday I had a bad audition. It sucked so hard. Had to cry, tried to prepare, couldn’t cry... fuck.

Whatever. Life goes on. My confidence has sucked lately.

Sigh (drawing of New in lamb hat with eyes full of tears)

There was a bad shooting. Worst in US history, at a gay club in Florida. 49 dead. The whole world is crying. I feel numb.

6.14.16 11:45 PM: I love my dad more than anyone in the whole universe. He has done so much for me and other people. He deserves the best love. He deserves to be happy.

I’m so sick of women hurting him like this. He tries so hard to make things work.

I hope he’ll be okay.

I just want him to know how special he is.

6.28.16 1:11 PM: Colonoscopy and upper endoscopy in an hour. Period started. Depressed.

Keep making mistakes at my part-time job. Worried. Stressed.

Tuesday now, been eating nothing but jello since Saturday.

Just feeling really down about my situation. My health, work, school, friends. Everything.

I hate the snarling monster inside of me. I hate who it makes me. I hate myself for yelling at my dad yesterday.

I just really don’t like myself.

What can I do?

7.1.16 1:20 PM: Shooting a chronic pain thing in my room right now.

Camera in my face.

Feeling tired but pretty good.

7.24.16 10:38 PM: There’s so much to say but it’s late, gotta take my meds, and I got a shoot.

I release pain. I release guilt. Namaste.

8.11.16 2:22 PM: Why do things have to be so hard? I’m trying my best. I really am. But it’s not enough. Will it ever be enough? Will I ever live alone, be independent, be happy?

I feel like my dad resents me. I know he loves me but I just have so much pain and guilt for existing. I know I am capable of so much more and that life has so much to offer me... it’s just so hard.

9.3.16 8:17 PM: Hooey, it’s September. 3rd week with no bookings, taking an extra day at part-time job.

Since I’ve had all these days off I have been dividing my time to get things done, rest, play games, better myself. Even just a little at a time is good.

9.11.16 11:13 PM: Finally got work. Which means I worked 5 days. Yay.

I’m still trying to improve my writing. My problem is I never really have a plan—or I get stuck at words, instead of just writing.

9.12.16 10:49 PM: Oh, hell... My agent called today, I got booked on some shoot. But it’s for tomorrow, so. I can’t since now I work Tues as well. So last week I worked SUN, TUES, WED, THU, FRI... hooly shit. No wonder I feel awful.

Of course when I tried to talk to ___ about it they made me cry. Fuck. Been depressed all fucking day. Fuck fuck fuck.

I’m okay. I have distractions. I have coping methods.... I have myself. Soon is paychecks. I’m okay.

Tomorrow is... let’s see.

7 AM wake, meditate, yoga 8 AM tea, tumblr 9 AM edit 10 AM read 11 AM rest 12 PM ?????

I can do it.

9.23.16 12:27 PM, Friday: My body is struggling to keep up w this schedule.

I worked Sun Mon Tues Wed, had yesterday off, now I have to be at a shoot in a few hours. I’ve had to seriously up my self-care game to be able to do this. Tomorrow is school and acupuncture. I’ll be wiped out.

But... money! Also I’ve been meditating a lot with amethyst and rose quartz.

(a row of crystals)

On Mon my shoot was so hard, I was having such a rough time but then I met two cool Japanese women. One is Michiko Nishiwaki, a famous stunt woman. She and the (other) Michiko seemed really impressed by me and want me to get on TV. Yay.

Okay, I feel woozy so it is time to read.

10.11.16 12:12 pm: Last week was two kinds of intense.

SUN-WED: bad depression. bad pain. bad bad bad.

TH: Doc, got dmv handicap parking placard, bloodwork, x-rays, narcotics. FRI-SAT: pain so easy, feeling happy.

SUN: pain back after good massage

Now I’m feeling depressed again.

I’m so scared for my future. I just can’t bear the thought of still being in this situation at age 30.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

10.20.16 12:30 PM: I booked a short film. Happy about it but feeling depressed about my health again.

It’s like a merry-go-round.

(sad crying face)

10.31.16 11:46 PM: (arrow pointing to previous entry) I don’t remember writing that. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Well. Tomorrow is November.

Yikes. Where was I last year around this time? Only doing bg, no vlogs to edit. No Overwatch.

What did I do during down time? How did I keep sane?

This year has brought a lot of change, but ti’s easy to see it only as the same because my career is so slow going.

Just keep swimming.

11.25.16 4:15 AM: I start my hostessing job in 5 hours. New job. 3rd job.

Idk. I’m so sad rn. Anxious. Woke up w racing heart. Pukey. I wanna cry.

I didn’t do anything wrong.

12.1.16 9:48 PM: I threw up a lot, just now recovering a week later.

Things:

New job: shift got cut Tuesday

Universe made up for it by having casting call me with work. Cult member. Very far but this should be interesting.

Doc today gave me gave more tramadol + xanax ☆ Nice.

it’s December wtf

Made a Patreon

12.12.16 10:02 PM: Energy is focused. Going to set up 2017 to be a great year.

12.16.16 3:07 PM: I intend to heal. I feel terrific. I love myself. I release guilt. The universe supports me. Today I expect that something wonderful is going to happen.

My Dharma is to guide, inspire, teach, and help.

All is perfect. All is well.

#spoonie #chronic illness #fibromyalgia #narcolepsy #invisible illnesses #personal #teku #long post #suicide mention

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