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scarred-but-still-smiling · 3 years

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Vibes I Associate With Each Hermit

False: post-workout adrenaline, when your skin is tingling and your muscles are aching and you're high as a kite on the rush

Cleo: sitting on an old broken headstone, worn smooth by time, and shooting the shit; talking about stuff that pisses you off and jokingly plotting murders with your best friend

Stress: your best mate who's got chronic little sister energy and probably grew up with a whole football team worth of brothers so she can 100% kick your ass and look adorable doing it. Voted most likely to kill you with a sparkly lollipop made of magic.

Ren: your stoner big brother who never tries to get you into it but who says that he feels the safest getting high when he's with you. You learned to cook mostly because he devoured leftovers that were meant to last a week in one sitting because of the munchies. His favourite thing to talk about while high is Star Wars.

Scar: you would fight the world to keep this man soft and kind. One of the few people whose light hasn't gone out yet and you hope he stays that way. If he didn't need the wheelchair, he'd probably be curled up like a cat croissant 90% of the time.

Cub: sibling energy, but like, the kinda sibling you'd go full jackass with. He'd eagerly keep helping you test your soapbox airplane even after it crashed 5 times already

Beef: warm dad. A freshly cooked roast dinner with chicken, potatoes, carrots, etc. only just plated and is steaming up your glasses. Warm and safe hugs, a warm cabin in the woods when you're stranded in a blizzard

Etho: sibling vibes, you'd happily push him in front of a train but if anyone else so much as insults him you'll kill them. He's the kinda brother who would hunt down your abusive ex and murder them for making you cry

Joe: that one English teacher that you're not 100% sure actually existed and you've gotta check with your old classmates just to make sure you didn't hallucinate him, but everyone else feels the same way

Xisuma: your best friend's dorky older brother, an absolute dweeb who is a whiz at computers and has dedicated his life to figuring out the exact function and limitations of every piece of syntax

Keralis: that one kid you know who's just So Affectionate and who is probably one of the few reasons you're still sane. He's also a bit of a git sometimes but he's got the kinda face you can't stay mad at for more than a few seconds

Tango: like Cub but Extra. "hi I'm tango and this is jackass" you actually have to fight him to get to do the dumb stunts yourself, whereas Cub would be happy to just hold the camera

Impulse: that one friend you know that's always up at stupid o'clock in the morning because they're working on something. It's 3am and he's still awake wtf? Like yeah you should probably be asleep rn too but he's actually Doing Shit

Bdubs: he's very loud, and some people might call him obnoxious, but he's just got a lot of enthusiasm and not much Bdubs to keep it in. It's very endearing. Also the only friend who actually has a healthy sleeping schedule.

TFC: grandad. Gives amazing hugs, lets you stay up way past your bedtime, is not even close to being above shenanigans, also occasionally way too old for this shit.

Zed: adhd. Zed's vibes are just pure adhd.

Mumbo: same as Zed really, only he's got more inattentive type vibes. A highly intelligent moron who constantly gets frustrated with his own brain

Grian: would punt you out of a helicopter to see what happens

Doc: yknow Buford from Phineas and Ferb? The bully who was actually a huge softie? Doc is Buford only German

#Hermitcraft #Grian #Grianmc #Mumbo jumbo #Zedaph #Tangotek #Impulsesv #Tfc #Joe Hills #Zombie Cleo #Stressmonster101 #False symmetry

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tiny-smallest · 3 years

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favorite things in the AHIT fandom right now

dadtcher

Hat Kid being made of sugar and spite but mostly spite

everyone took one look at DJ Grooves and the Conductor and went ‘ah. gay.’

speaking of which: knife grandpas

knife grandpas specifically because Hat Kid wormed their way into their hearts and they were like ‘okay guess she’s my granddaughter now

everyone decided Hat Kid and Bow Kid are sisters, by blood or otherwise

fuck you Vanessa

DADTCHER

everyone? just collectively decided?? that Moonjumper wasn’t cut from the game, actually?

that thing where people draw DJ Grooves’s sunglasses slightly transparent so they can show his eyes underneath them

variation of the above but one lens is opaque and the other’s transparent

everyone decided DJ Grooves has cute lil button eyes

let’s maybe RESOLVE the Subcon Forest chapter’s bigger story, huh folks?

the minions are gremlins; adorable, adorable gremlins

that Snatcher has the ability to be soft and is in fact some level of soft for Hat Kid eventually, despite his “AHAHAHAHAHAA FOOOOOOOOOOOOL” shtick

Snatcher is bitter about being outsmarted with the bff contract but he warms up to it eventually

Hat Kid made the bff contract out of sheer spite and also warmed up to it eventually

that neck ruff of his is absolutely as soft as it looks

he has literally always had that laugh even in life; it’s just scarier now that he’s a ghost

every time you turn around you realize a new heartbreaking thing about his past like jfc

fuck you Vanessa

Cooking Cat is just… Mom

like she just IS there is no question about it she is The Mom Friend among peers and just straight up adopted two space kids out of nowhere?

everyone who decided ‘hm, fuck this actually’ when we got no answer about Hat Kid’s past, so they worked with what they had to create one

Snatcher’s a dramatic ho

Mu is a good kid but she has Issues and she needs help with that

additionally, she and Hat Kid eventually become friends after the finale

if you accept Hat Kid left the planet at all she didn’t leave the planet forever; she just left to get Bow

the crew has zero idea, to this day, about why they fucking crashed during the Arctic Cruise chapter

also Hat Kid is embarrassed af about the entire ordeal

let’s see how these characters would translate into a modern au

let’s dick around with just the characters of your favorite chapter; I see u all and u are valid

Snatcher was a fucking real life disney prince before his death and slow stew of bitterness so he had a whole multitude of hobbies, some of which are actively pointed out in-game (his love of law and reading; the fact that he canonically does chemistry and/or alchemy)

building from that: the decision to add in some hobbies whose canonical proof ended up being cut from the beta or changed entirely, like painting and astronomy

the prince was a really sweet man and everyone liked him, but nobody in the kingdom really knew him so nobody knew what was happening to him

the different takes on his relationship with Vanessa but my personal, personal favorite is childhood friends and the relationship was always kinda toxic from the start but he didn’t see that because every time things became overtly awful he just thought ‘well if I see this through the good times will come back; this is just a rough patch’

am I projecting? maybe a little, but if he’s also your favorite character then so are you

everyone really did just up and decide that the storybook page about the prince locked up in the basement wasn’t his body being transformed after death by magic, and that shortly after that moment depicted in the storybook page the man fell out of his own body and landed on the floor as a ghost and had to turn around and look at his own corpse to figure out what happened because I guess he wasn’t traumatized enough, or something

fuck you Vanessa

the Conductor has some kind of tragic life story based on the fact that we see him as the caretaker for his five grandchildren but hear not a whisper of his child

Conductor is part fire spirit and so are his grandkids? Zero evidence in-game but have I adopted this so hard I forget it’s not canon sometimes? You betcha

Conductor has no mention of a significant other but had at least one kid so again something sad is afoot let’s explore that, mmmm?

also Grooves is totally down for being their other grandpapa he gives zero fucks about the Conductor coming as a package deal with toddlers, actually

Conductor has a mild alcohol problem

Conductor is a secret softy but this really comes out when he’s drunk… or overwhelmed with emotion for other reasons

Grooves is really lonely; someone please hug him

Snatcher draws up an adoption contract for Hat Kid when he adopts her despite being a dead man who lives in the woods with nobody to give a fuck about documentation because he’s a dweeb

literally bottle every bit of content anyone has ever made about Snatcher being poofed human again because he + time piece = disaster, and inject it into my veins

huge shoutout to @doodledrawsthings for coming up with the idea because I believe they’re the first ones to pose that amazing revelation of ‘he’d totally be an idiot with a time piece and smash himself back to being alive and instantly have Regrets about it’

Moonjumper is Moonjumper but like also the prince but kind of not?? He is an order of sweet with a huge helping side dish of existential crisis

Snatcher get over yourself 2k21

let Hat Kid beat Vanessa to death with her umbrella 2k21

honestly everyone could benefit from some therapy

except Vanessa she just kinda needs to die

DADTCHER

#a hat in time #ahit prince #ahit snatcher #ahit dj grooves #ahit conductor #ahit cooking cat #ahit vanessa #ahit spoilers #hi remember my old hit about 'favorite things in the batim fandom' wellllllll

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chiseler · 3 years

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Trauma-Toons

A shortish documentary called Cartoon College, directed by Josh Melrod and Tara Wray, celebrating the Center for Cartoon Studies in Vermont, left me thinking about a bunch related or semi-related things. The (unaccredited) Center offers a two-year course leading to a Master of Fine Arts in cartooning.

First of all, is such a curriculum necessary? In the applied-arts sense, probably not really, but as a supportive place for artists doing something that, the film proclaims, society at best ignores, or at worst sneers at, it shines. Kids and adults – including a man in his late 60s – act as though they are finally being allowed to crawl out from under the carpet.

Which by the end made me uneasy. The presumably self-selecting group projects a stereotype of cartoonists as universally depressed dweebs with godawful childhoods – salvaged suicides or serial killers in waiting. Somehow, I can’t believe this is a broadly accurate cross-section of those involved in an admittedly wacky profession.

Which then led me to recall how much the newspaper comics meant to me growing up, and to a lot of kids of that era. And it wasn’t just kids reading the “funnies”; consider the sophistication and orientation of “Winnie Winkle,” “Brenda Star,” “Rex Morgan” – these were works written with an adult audience first and foremost in mind.

They were the static YouTube of the time, and their hold on me has never relaxed. Will Eisner and his seven-page Sunday adventure "The Spirit" were the highlight of my week. In the ‘70s, Eisner’s boundary-breaking foray into the “graphic novel” made my liver quiver.

Try reading bio-bits by and about Eisner and his studio (which produced Jules Feiffer and Wally Wood among many others), and you don’t come away with the idea that the comics artists of the '40s and '50s worried much about making a living, what their work “meant” or whether it reflected their traumatic youth – even though many of them went totally unrecognized. Carl Barks, who drew the iconic Scrooge McDuck comic books, was not identified as their author until after he retired, all original credit going to Walt Disney, whose talent was business and hype, not drawing.

I’ve always taken cartoonists seriously, in a way that, I think, Eisner did. They aren’t little laugh generators snickering off to the side, but unleashers of big guffaws at what society is and does, as were Rowlandson and the political cartoonists of the 19th century. But somehow, along about “Superman,” we began to separate “serious” words from “frivolous” pictures in published art – a highbrow-lowbrow division and a reversal of the Renaissance, when painting and drawing ruled as the ultimate expressions of what the artistic mind could produce.

The aspiring artists at the Center for Cartoon Studies see cartooning as a particularly personal form of expression, neither social commentary nor kiddie trifles, but the key to the release of their inner demons (or at least their under-the-bed monsters). Yet they fear, one and all, that they will forever be viewed as warped outsiders.

I don’t think that’s anywhere near true in the wider world. But then, we’re very confused these days in how we approach art: We don’t know how to look at it, don’t have any definition of what art is. We don’t need academic definitions, certainly, but we do need social definitions. These were assumed in past ages but are now fluctuating and scattered.

Science fiction author J.G. Ballard foresaw this social-aesthetic removal in his Vermillion Sands stories, where art of the future becomes something we cannot keep hold of. In the half-mad art conclave of Vermillion Sands, statues whisper meaningless phrases and poetry floats on the breeze, not because it’s all ephemeral, but because no one can pin down what it might or should proclaim.

Graphic novels and higher comic book prices, better digital graphics programs and Art Spiegelman’s Maus have together given comics a more upscale image while removing them from their common ground. That holds largely true of most public art. Is this a wonderful thing – art set free from relevance, to be whatever we say (or fail to say) it is? Or have we sliced it off from life, made it an "other,“ a separate thing to worship like modern religion (or laugh at, given your inclination), to appreciate without underlying humanity?

by Derek Davis

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sortinghatchats · 4 years

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Sorting Firefly

Note: in the way we like to play this sorting game, “primaries” are WHY you do things and “secondaries” are HOW. If you want to learn more about our system’s definitions, check out our other tumblr posts, our blog at sortinghatchats.wordpress.com, or our quiz at https://ejadelomax.itch.io/sortinghatchats.

Malcolm Reynolds is our go-to example for the Burned Hufflepuff Primary. An Unburned Hufflepuff Primary values community, fairness, and empathy. A Burned Hufflepuff still has those inner values, but thinks it’s impractical, naive, unsafe, or foolish to prioritize them. They tend to think of themselves as bad people -- practical, sensible, maybe, but not very good.

It can be tempting to consider Mal perhaps a burned Gryffindor instead, but look at him in the war, before he burns. His faith isn’t in the righteousness or the cause, but their people—”hear that? That’s our angels coming.” Mal has a big heart and he wants both to help and to believe in other people. (This is one of the reasons River is so vital to him—but we’ll talk about that later).

Mal after the war is no different in what he wants — he’s just had to settle, injured, for a smaller world. “You’re on my crew,” he tells a bewildered Simon. (Simon’s Slytherin Primary is absolutely flabbergasted by Mal’s stubborn loyalties to him and River, which is based in their need and their being part of the family, where Simon’s loyalties are razor-edged and individualistic).

Mal can’t love the whole world anymore, or even just the Browncoats, because he knows that would destroy him— it already almost did. But he can love his crew. He can make Serenity a home.

Mal’s Puff Primary shows up in other places, too, sneaking past the Slytherin Primary model he’s used to keep himself alive and sane after the breaking of his too-big heart, like when he gives the medicines back in Train Job, risking Niska’s wrath.

Zoe, who first fell into step behind a Hufflepuff years ago, questions him about it in the movie—an unburned Mal, the one from the war, would never have left a man behind. This Mal shot the bystander begging for rescue (a mercy) to save his crew. That prioritizing (or, rather, the instantaneous decision of it) points to his Slytherin model—but it eats Mal up the way it would never eat up Simon, an actual Slytherin Primary (“remember, River, it’s okay to leave them to die”).

Mal wishes, deeply, quietly, that he could save everyone. But war and loss burned his young, faithful Hufflepuff into a man who thinks one of the basic truths of the universe is that you can’t save everyone and that it will destroy you to try. So he’s sunk his stake into these eight Serenity-boarded souls and decided it’s enough.

This is one of the things that makes his relationship with River so interesting. The Burned Puff knows he should not be trusting and investing in this broken bird and her verse-wide bounty, her untrustworthy triggers and destructive lethality. But in letting them stay in the pilot, in pulling her back to the ship in Objects in Space, in joining her crusade in Serenity, he defies all these hard lessons he’s learned and he trusts her, he fights for her, he believes. By ignoring his “better judgement” and investing in this one unlikely young woman, he’s starting to heal his Hufflepuff and have faith in the good fight once again. The last moment of the Firefly-filmed universe is Mal Reynolds teaching River how to fly.

(For a definition of teach, anyway.)

For secondary (the “how”) — Mal’s a Gryff. “If I shoot you,” he told Simon, “You’ll be awake, you’ll be facing me, and you’ll be armed.” Badger mocks him for it in the pilot— Mal wants the world to be honorable. He wants to be fighting the good fight, and he wants to do it in the good ways.

Gryffindor secondaries are an interesting mix of stand-up integrity and mischievous (even deceitful) rule-breaking and chaos (think Fred and George). These potentially conflicting traits come from this— Gryffindor Secondaries are self-defined.

Their integrity and their honesty is a deal with themselves, not others. They stand firm to their own rules, but find other peoples’ or organizations’ insignificant, or even downright offensive. The other secondaries all can and do break rules—a Slytherin Secondary might play the system, a Hufflepuff Secondary might invest in it, a Ravenclaw might find its loopholes—but a good rule of thumb for identifying a Gryffindor Secondary is this: is rule-breaking a tool? or is it a personality trait?

Simon, who destroyed his whole life to get to River, and was willing to let Kaylee (the epitome of the innocent bystander) bleed out in order to keep his sister safe, is a Slytherin Primary. He looks slightly Puff occassionally—this is because he’s tied part of his worth to the Puff-like doctrine of a surgeon: service and do no harm. You see it when he saves the patient on Ariel and then chews the attending physicisian out, offended to his core. These are beliefs he holds close to himself, that help define him—but at Simon’s core, no matter how Ravenclaw clever or kindly even bumblingly Hufflepuff he can seem, he puts his people first and he loses no sleep over that.

He’s got a Ravenclaw Secondary—asked to describe his usefulness, Simon would first and foremost claim his intelligence and his skills. He’s best when he’s in his “element,” drawing on skills, knowledge, and tolls he’s already learned and comfortable with.

Simon’s got a Slytherin Secondary model on top of his Slytherclaw heart, which I suspect he learned from his dad. The Ravenclaw/Slytherin combo in the secondary/model space (in either order) often looks a little bit like a criminal mastermind (or someone who wants to be one, anyway). When Simon is uncomfortable, falling back on his model, his starts to look a bit like a plotting villain—in the pilot, on Ariel, and at the beginning of Serenity the movie.

Zoe is a Gyffindor Primary who really likes Hufflepuffs (see: Mal, Wash). Like Mal, she’s been burned by the war. Puff Primary Mal has become disillusioned by a cruel ‘verse that requires you to abandon some people to save others. He has lost faith in both the fairness of the universe and his own ability to make it more fair. But Zoe, a burned Gryff, has lost faith in her own ability to tell right from wrong.

She’s not deeply burned—more a light char—but instead of trusting her own gut these days, she trusts Mal’s. Her internal moral compass feels like it’s gone awry or silent. She feels lost. This is a burned Gryffindor, and it’s not uncommon for a burned Gryffindor to try to find their morality somewhere outside themself. Zoe finds hers in Mal.

Part of it is that she knew him in the war when he was fearless, his Puff effortless, and because it’s easy for her to fall into the structured hierarchy of their roles-- sergeant or captain. She has given him not just practical but also moral authority. She questions him, but she trusts him in the end, almost always. And, though it’s framed within the “sir” and the war, the reason for it lies on the quality of Mal himself. Zoe would never give her allegiance to anyone who did not deserve it. But she feels she cannot trust her own internal compass, so instead she trusts Mal’s heart.

For secondary: Zoe does not charge, comfort, or connive. She’s straightforward because it’s useful, not because it’s a moral imperative. Ravenclaw Secondary I think—look at the comparison with Mal’s Gryff Secondary in the “tin of beans” flashback in The Message. Where Mal shouts and hollers and charges, a different school of thought, Zoe is organized, efficient, deliberate (and deadly).

The way Inara freaks out and skiddaddles when she realizes how important the Serenity crew (and esp. Mal) have become to her — that is a Slytherin Primary trying so hard to Petrify. She’s mourning Nandi and she’s mourning herself, and she just wants everything to stop hurting.

Inara looks a lot like a Puff Secondary, because she performs Hufflepuff so damn well, but she’s not. In her introductory scene, on the job, we get snatches of her “inner” thoughts while she smiles and pours tea— she’s sighing, shifting, rolling her eyes. There’s clearly a disconnect between how she feels about this man and what she’s doing.

A Slytherin/Hufflepuff Inara (which, on the very surface, would look very similar to most of her behavior) would have to convince herself to “mean” the affection for her clients, even if only for the allotted time slot. Eyerolling, internal or external, wouldn’t happen until she was back on the ship, curled up with Kaylee, telling stories, and that’s if the eye-rolling happened at all.

Inara talks like that, though—that she chooses people she ‘connects’ with, that kind of thing. She’s got a lot of respect and wishfulness when it comes to Hufflepuff, which I think is where she bonds best with Book— he performs Puff, too, and wishes that giving warmth was closer to his core.

Inara has a Slytherin Secondary model, which she uses to excel at the “performance” of her job. The flexibility and cultivated appearance of that secondary work for her well. However, her actual secondary is Ravenclaw, a learner, a studier, and a collector of skills. Slytherin’s adaptability is just one more skill her Ravenclaw has worked to learn.

When Inara’s with the crew, she tends to live simply in her Ravenclaw secondary, giving off an impression of precision, clarity, and certainty. Her Ravenclaw and Mal’s Gryffindor secondary, both strident, solid houses, like to have sparring matches/bonding times while their Loyalist House primaries make doe-eyes at each other. Dweebs.

Jayne Cobb displays neither a Slytherin Primary’s strong loyalty drive, a Hufflepuff’s need-based service, or a Ravenclaw’s constructed, systematized morality. He appears to be a Gryffindor Primary whose felt morality is “whatever I want.”

If you read him really complexly, you could maybe imagine a Ravenclaw Primary there, who’s settled on that morality of self-serving ruthlessness. But moments like the one where he joins up with Serentiy—he shoots both his buddies on Mal’s suggestion—suggest against that. The betrayal doesn’t make Ravenclaw any more unlikely than Gryffindor, but the instantaneous decision to make a moral choice he’d never considered or run through his system before suggests that his is an intuitive “gut” morality—just a really unsavory one.

His selfishness looks temptingly like a Slytherin Primary, but he lacks any of the loyalty. He’ll betray anyone and it doesn’t seem to be because he’s Petrified—he still likes and bonds with people. He cares not just practically but emotionally about what they think of him (his plea to Mal not to tell the others about his betrayal in Ariel). But when push comes to shove, he doesn’t seem to be driven strongly by that affection, the way a Slytherin is tied to their personal loyalties. A Gryffindor, then, just an ugly one. Sorry, Gryffindors.

His secondary, though, we think is Slytherin. He looks a lot like a blunt Gryffindor Secondary, but it’s just his Slytherin Secondary neutral state, which he likes to live in and which shares the blunt or even abrasive honesty and delighted tactlessness of some Gryffindor Secondaries.

When Jayne needs to lie, deceive, connive, or betray, he does it easily and without a touch of dismay. He schemes and jockies for advantage. He’s a good example of the uglier stereotypes of a Slytherin Secondary. Sorry, Slytherins.

Kaylee Frye is a Gryffindor Primary like Jayne and Zoe, but where Jayne’s is self-serving and Zoe’s is quietly shattered, Kaylee’s shines bright through her Hufflepuff Secondary. She community-builds like nobody’s business and even her technical prowess is described in terms of intuitive empathy.

In the episode where they pick up Simon and River, she’s sitting outside Serenity asking people why she should let them onto her ship, why they want to be on her ship. And the only answer she accepts, Book’s, is a philosophy of wandering and traveling that sits close to her heart. It’s a Gryffindor recognizing someone who looks to share her view of the world. It’s a Gryffindor who’s bonding over shared ideas and ideals. And what does she do with this information? She brings Book aboard the ship. Welcome to the family, you share our philosophies, and I think we’ll get along great.

One of the (many) ways she does her part on Serenity is by community building with people who are good, who are worth getting to know, or who are interesting-- who aren’t just picking their ship because it’s a ship that they happened to see, but because they’re able to pick up on that something special that Kaylee values so much about Serenity.

Book is a burned Gryffindor with a Slytherin secondary and a Hufflepuff performance. He’s devoted himself to the truth of the Word, of the Bible, of his religion-- like, Zoe he doesn’t have faith in his own ability to tell right from wrong. Where Zoe places her faith in Mal, Book places his in his religion.

His secondary is a bit hard to sort, but from his laid-back, go with the flow skills and his comfort with lying or gilding the truth, he reads as a Slytherin Secondary to us.

Wash is a hard sort, because you can read or not read so many different depths to him. Is he really as utterly transparent as he seems? He looks like a Hufflepuff Primary, but maybe he’s a Ravenclaw with a loud model—because if he’s a straight up Puff, then the boy wears his heart and thoughts on his sleeve all the time.

But Zoe has a pattern—she likes Puffs—so we’re gonna go with that.

Wash really is that honest and straightforward, his emotions obvious on his face. I think someone with the sort of built layers that are easy but not necessary to read into Wash wouldn’t be the kind Zoe would fall in love with. She likes hearts that know what they’re doing, that are instinctual in their kindnesses. Wash is himself, all the time, and that self plays with dinosaurs, loves his wife, and headbutts with Mal over ethics with the thoughtless confidence of two Puffs who disagree.

Ravenclaw Secondary—he’s quirky, delights in sarcasm and wit even when what he’s trying to be is kind. His Puff center makes his secondary look a lot warmer than burned Gryffindor Zoe’s Ravenclaw secondary, but the fact that this couple shares a secondary makes sense.

We think River was originally a Ravenclaw/Ravenclaw with Slytherin Primary and Ravenclaw Secondary models — basically, as a kid she modeled Simon’s Slytherclaw. She’s not a Slytherin Primary herself, but she finds comfort in Slytherin loyalty and she often sees the world through that lens—an emphasis on interpersonal connection, a sense of “mine first,” and loyalties owed.

By the time she’s on Serenity, however, she’s been rubbed so raw she doubts her Slytherin model (“I didn’t think you’d come for me” “Dummy,” says Slytherclaw Simon, who never could have done anything else) and she has almost entirely dropped the show-off Claw performance of the little girl who had corrected her big brother’s spelling. As the show goes on, she grasps more and more of her Slytherin model: she gets to bring back one of her layers, regain her trust in Simon’s Slytherin, rebuild her model of a world in which one universal truth is that her brother will always come for her.

But River’s drives and connection to the world are understanding it. She wants to know what’s going on, both in the observant, academic sense of the Ravenclaw Secondary and the more abstract Ravenclaw primary—she’s looking for purpose, shoulds and shouldn’ts, for identity.

A Slytherin Primary in her situation might have attached themselves to Simon like a baby sloth, but River doesn’t. He’s her solid ground, but not her reason.

A young Gryffindor might be reactive, responding with their gut, or perhaps cynical and shattered after their self had been so invaded. In rebuilding, a Gryffindor would be looking for something inside themselves, a sense of solidity, a sense of purpose — River is looking outside.

A Hufflepuff Primary might have clearer eyes for the people of the ship— River views them with a detached fondness. There is genuine affection there (see: Objects in Space), but when it comes to River feeling steady in the world she’s almost more interested in the engines than the crew— not their mechanics, but the beat of them.

She’s a Romantic sort of Ravenclaw Primary, sure, but she’s got a need for systems to build and inhabit. Her sense of reality has been shattered and the first thing that gives her some peace and stability is this — not safety, certainty, or community, but a sense of knowing what is going on.

River’s trying to figure out how this all works and the heart of this show (because River more than any of them lives in the meta-text) is Serenity.

River’s trying to find a base from which she can build. Her world, her models, and her ability to perceive and believe reality have been shattered. Mal pulls her back to the ship at the end of the last episode—it’s a homecoming, yes, but perhaps more than that he’s giving her a place to stand.

That episode is easily Firefly’s most existential/meta and it’s fitting that we start it with River detached from reality—ocean wave audio, mistaking a gun for a fallen branch, pushed to untrusted outskirts—and that we end it with River landing firmly feet first on Serenity, beaming through her suit visor.

tl;dr:

Mal - Burned Hufflepuff / Gryffindor

Inara - Slytherin / Ravenclaw

Jayne - Gryffindor / Slytherin

Kaylee - Gryffindor / Hufflepuff

Book - Burned Gryffindor / Slytherin

Zoe - Burned Gryffindor / Ravenclaw

Wash - Hufflepuff / Ravenclaw

Simon - Slytherin / Ravenclaw

River - Ravenclaw / Ravenclaw

#firefly #sortinghatchats #repost

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childofhelios · 3 years

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NCT AS DIMENSION 20

okay so firstly, this is very niche but its been on my mind for literally ages now. im mostly gonna be focusing on fantasy high characters because that’s the one im most familiar with(d20 release free episodes of crown of candy already ;-; ya girl is suffering) i think i might write a fic or a couple more posts based off this concept but im not sure yet lvfksdvsk let’s get startedddddddd:

so i believe that 2000 line would be the most accurate for fantasy high main characters. i WAS gonna have dream at first but there are 7 members and there are only 6 mcs. so 2000 liners are pretty much perfect for this.

okay idk if it’s me or renjun gives off the extremely polite vibes at first? like thinking of early dream era where he seemed really quiet and chill. buuuuut then i also flashback to him putting chenle in a chokehold in like mfal era which makes me think of the cafeteria scene. i dont think renjun is as anxious as adaine. hes def more confident and more forceful but i think he has that ethereal factor adaine has. renjun would absolutely be a high elf because he would be NOTHING less and he deserves it. i think wizard class fits him really well! also his tiny little elf ear may have convinced me to make him adaine....

so jeno is literally the most like gorgug and it makes me wanna cry kjfnvlsdkl they’re both such loveable sweethearts that are too good for this world but then sometimes???? they just get super intense and fucking insane and it scares me sometimes holy shit. gorgug deals massive damage in battle and can fucking wreck people and jeno,,,,,,lets not talk about it. ALSO i do think jeno would absolutely act like gorgug does with zelda(probably more likely when he was gorgug’s age but oh well) gorgug can be very ditzy(himboish if that’s a better word) but he gives really good advice.and i feel like even though jeno is so foolish, he is supportive and is a wonderful friend. i just fucking love them so much

HAECAHN IS LITERALLY FIG I FUCKING SHIT YOU NOT: in this essay i will explain why lee haechan is actually fig in disguise. not ONLY does he give a lot of affection/flirt with basically everyone, he’s literally the perfect definition o f bard. like come onnnnnnn. also he’s VERY mischievous and gets the gang into 90% of the trouble and somehow gets them out of it. the “makes problems on purpose but solves them by accident” type. it’s not just because i wanna see him play a bass and jeno on drums bc that would be sexy of them noooooo absolutely not. if you ever see haechan in an outfit similar to fig’s, just know i’ll be literally laying in a grave just know this. STYLISTS PUT THIS MAN IN FISHNETS IMMEDIATELY FOR SCIENCE PURPOSES. bitches be emotional and then say theyre closed off,,,,, literally haechan at both the last dream show with mark and the dream show before they would have graduated

HES A JOCK DWEEB DO I NEED TO GO FURTHER?? okay so i know that jaemin is pretty introverted and quiet at times bc he likes to chill and im the same way, but when he’s out of his shell or with people who share his energy HES LEGIT LIKE FABIAN. my man’s was a SPEED SKATER, which is so fucking surprising but not the point. im saying that he’s also pretty lean and quick when he wants to be and that makes him good for the type of fighter fabian is. not to mention the weird relationship both fabian and gorgug have and also jaemin and jeno’s relationship. a l s o fabian straight up punched gorgug and then started becoming his friend after being spending time in detention and stuff. jeno and jaemin legit joined at the same time and were seatmates in school and stuff like that.... but this aint about those two. also jaemin’s intonation is fucking funny sometimes but other times i AM willing to fight him bc he wont talk normally (this is a joke vksjdkjs) but the same goes for fabian. the confidence they both have is literally unmatched, its actually kinda scary

first of all look at how spiffy they look, its actually adorable. second, look at my gremlin childrennnnnnnn i love themmmm(yes i know riz is a goblin no i dont care) okay shotaro is literally a child and he’s kinda still new so he’s a bit shy. but he ACTUALLY terrifies me with how talented he is. like in the recent relay when he learned the dance in like an hour. my guy is so quick at picking things up, he’s the perfect riz. also his korean has gotten so good in just like 3 and a half months so that just showssssss how hardworking he is. i dont know, i feel like shotaro is hiding some feral energy and we just need to wait it out and he’ll be foaming at the mouth or smth. shotaro is a liiiiiiitle too cool for the Ball but they both kinda have that dorky feeling to them. like the kid brother whose hair you ruffle all the time. but all in all i just think he’s neat :]

okay the photos dont match that well but thats because i was trying to find him in the pink takeoff outfit and i couldnt find a good screenshot but that’s not the point. now you’re probably thinking “helios, yangyang cant be kristen. make him the Ball or fig or anybody else.” ohoho quite the opposite my friend. i think yangyang is the most like kristen purely bc of the untapped chaotic energy these two have. i literally remember both my first impression of kristen and yy were that they were mostly harmless and then somehow they started speaking and holy shit im terrified of them now. it also makes yangyang being a healer very interesting. they’re both really caring and outgoing, but some of the shit they say literally makes me head fucking spin bc it’s so ridiculous.

Honorable mentions:

Taeyong is Prinicpal Aguefort bc he is one of the only ones who has that chaotic yet majestic energy he has.

Johnny is either Johnny Spells or Jawbone. Johnny Spells because he hangs out with the kiddos a lot and i just think of the “johnny spells fucks” bit and it makes me laugh so hard. but also Jawbone because he’s our emotional support werewolf basically. he also gives great advice.

Doyoung is Sandra Lynn because of how much of fig/haechan’s shit they have to put up with. also i think the dynamic’s are really funny and similar

Chenle as Torek,,,,,do i need to explain any further

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 #NCT #nct 2000 line #nct dream #nct x dnd #hopefully one of many #kpop x dnd #helios writes #huang reonjeon #prince lee jeno #fellow sunshine hyuck #loml na jaemin #taro taro shotaro #yangyangeth

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some-cookie-crumbz · 4 years

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Some Huwumi AUs!!!

Putting them under a 'Read More'. May have to write some of these!

Grease AU: This happened solely because my iPod shuffled to the soundtrack the other night and I was feeling the Huwumi in the air. It could really work, though! Fuyumi as the sweet and compassionate Sandra D, and Hawks as the "bad boy" T-Bird with a heart of gold Danny? It'd be such a good fit. A fun time, though I'd have to make some changes from the source material both for modernization and if I want there to still be Quirks or not.

Footloose AU: I've only seen Footloose one time in my life as a production by the high school I eventually attended when I was in grade school. The whole plot is absolute nonsense and kind of goofy, but it could be a lot of fun! Hawks seems like the type who would thrive in a bombastic settling like that, peacocking around to woo the girl. Plus, Enji putting a ban on dancing/ music because he blames it for Touya's death? Feels like an in-character approach for the man if he cared more about his family.

Anastasia AU: Another one that could be a good fit for these two, either running with the main premise from the Bluth film or with changes made to fall a little more in line with canon! For example, if wanting to run with a world here Quirks and Pros are still a thing, the inciting event could be the downfall of classic Hero society under the weight of Villains. Endeavor and maybe Rei??? are killed in the downfall and Fuyumi, in helping her brothers escape, ends up taking a nasty blow to the head and developing amnesia. Many years later, and following a few rather sizable victories by the new wave of Heroes, a plea is issued by upcoming Hero Todoroki Shouto; help him find his older sister, and be repaid most handsomely. Hawks, a double-agent who has been leaking information to the Heroic rebels, quite literally stumbles upon her hidden in a room in the villains base of operations. This leads to a slew of issues regarding his relationship with certain members of the League, as well as a debate on helping the daughter of a man he still admires.

Parental!Fuyumi AU: This is a bit of a weird one, but I think it could be interesting. The premise is that Fuyumi is the first born, and there is a huge gap between when she is born and when her brothers are born. My thought is that there are 11-12 years between she and Touya, with a 3-4 year gap between the boys following that. After the incident with Shouto and Rei, Fuyumi - around 20-21 years old - moves back in at home to take over raising her brothers. While she struggles to complete college/ adjust to her work place, tend the home, and raise her brothers, she also has to deal with the Winged Hero, Hawks, frequently dropping in unannounced and adding even more chaos to her already hectic life.

Soulmate AU: In which everyone has an important phrase their soulmate will say to them written somewhere on their body, in their soulmate’s handwriting. For Todoroki Fuyumi, the mocking words “Ah, so you are Daddy’s Little Princess!” etched along her collarbone have always felt like a heavy weight to bear, reminding her that the world isn’t always kind and some shadows are too immense to step away from. Takami Keigo had lived his life without knowing about the words “Being superficially charming isn’t worth much out of the camera’s lens, you know,” between his shoulder blades, just above his wings. After all, the Hero Commission has bigger plans for him than chasing down a soulmate. A canon compliant fic in which Todoroki Fuyumi and Takami Keigo have multiple messy meetings and find that a soulmate isn’t always the person you want, but rather the person that you need.

Demon Hunter/ Body Guard AU: All Heroes are Demon Slayers in this AU. Endeavor is known as one of the best of the best, a long list of victories and successful slays under his belt, if not a bit abrasive and callous. Due to his high success rate, his family is a target for all demon kind; specifically, his only daughter, Fuyumi, who has no proper training regarding fending off demons and lives miles away from the Slayers stronghold city. Enter Takami Keigo, alias of Hawks, a highly-praised Slayer with a track record that rivals the senior operative. After an attack in the town Fuyumi lives in, Hawks is sent to play bodyguard and escort her to the safety of the Slayers main base.

Matchmaker AU: Takami Keigo is a world renowned advice columnist/ talk show host who specializes in relationships. He is particularly praised for his ability to salvage any relationship and kickstart any romance. His skills are called into question, however, when he meets Todoroki Fuyumi, the enigmatic daughter of his executive producer who doesn't immediately fall for his charms. When this begins to have a negative impact on his ability to do his job, it becomes a matter of principle; solve the riddle of Todoroki Fuyumi and get his mojo back.

Random Soundtrack AU: I can think of no better way to refer to this one. It has no real plot or anything to it, mostly just a bunch of scenes and ideas in my head brought up by certain songs on my iPod. Mostly just your stereotypical, goofy little story about two dweebs falling in love. There’d still be Quirks in this AU but probably no Heros and most of the drama would just come from the interpersonal relationships. And the Todoroki Brothers collectively going feral over their precious sister dating Hawks.

Neighbors AU: No Quirk AU in which Todoroki Fuyumi is a college student with way too much stress between school and some salacious family drama. Her life is even more compounded when Takami Keigo, an obnoxious and rowdy young man, takes the apartment right next door. And to make matters even worse? Turns out that he’s a friend of her older brother - who she hasn’t spoken to in nearly three years - and likes shoving his nose into other people’s business.

Former Child Actor AU: Years ago, Todoroki Fuyumi was a household name in Japan, adored for her starring role in a popular sitcom between the ages of six and fifteen. Upon the series completing, she was slated to begin working on a new series with up and coming teen heartthrob Takami Keigo. However, after an undisclosed incident occurred on the first date of filming, the young woman seemed to disappear into the obscurity. But Takami Keigo was there, that day, and the event has never really left him. Years later and at the peek of his career, he decides to start doing some digging to see if he can relocate his near co-star and find out where it all went wrong. But when someone disappears for almost eight years, there may be a reason. And they may not be so eager to be found.

Fake Dating/ Sugar Momma AU: Todoroki Fuyumi is the daughter and personal assistant of her father, Todoroki Enji, and one of the key players overseeing the continued success of Endeavor Electronics. She takes pride in her work and personal life balance and that, specifically, her father only has control on so much of the latter. But when he begins to talk about marrying her off to one of a selection of bachelors, she fabricates a story about a boyfriend to get him off her back. When this backfires to his insistence she bring the man around, she’d forced to hire on Takami Keigo, a law school dropout and male escort, to play the part. The only problem? Keigo is a bit of a wild card himself and only works to further complicate the situation. Might include some 18+ content in this AU if I write it; don’t know yet.

Reaper AU: Takami Keigo is your typical Reaper, collecting the souls of those that have run out of time, and assuring that those with short time frames left make the most of their remaining time. He is, however, also given some of the more complex cases his superiors occasionally run into. Enter the case of one Todoroki Fuyumi; a healthy young woman whose soul was traded by her father to save his own. Now with only a year to live, Keigo is charged with making sure that time is as fulfilling for her as possible. He's pretty sure that falling for her wasn't recommended in the case notes, though.

#crumbles grumbles #Huwumi #The last two are the ones I'm most def doing #But they'll have to come after another one I have up my sleeve #But I'll have more about *that* idea in a few days :3c

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mymomanddadaregonnabesomadatme · 5 years

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"Hey Khyle, why are you obsessed with a rarepair with a dead guy in it?"

Or, JonGerry manifesto time

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: Gerry vs Jon's misandry

Let's talk about how Jon hates men! Jon hates men. Listen to how he conducts himself around Martin, Tim and Elias in season one versus how he gets along with Sasha and the tone is so hilariously different. He has NO patience for the men around him and even though he's still pretty crusty to the women who come in to make statements (Naomi Herne & Melanie in s1) the way he handles talking to Sasha as a colleague is wildly different from how he talks to the men he works with. The same with when he meets Basira! His social comfort around women feels distinctly different from the way he feels about, navigates around and talks to men. So it's very, VERY fun to contrast this not only with how well he and Gerry get along (even after a pretty terse greeting from Gerry!!), but also to how excited he gets talking and thinking about Gerry when he reads about him in statements and goes to America hoping he's still alive. I think being an exciting Idea of a person makes it slightly easier for Jon to digest him before meeting him, and I also think it's the reason that...

SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS: Gerry is Jon's celebrity crush

If you need convincing, look no further than the fondness with which Jon says "that would be our Gerard" to Jurgen Leitner and your heart will open to this reality...Jon read about a cool goth in some statements and idealized him so hard he started crushing on him. Is Jon out to himself? No idea! Will that stop him from doing the very Jon thing of having very transparent feelings about something? Nope!

I've mentioned it in other posts but I do think it's significant how excited Jon is when he hopes Gerry is alive in America so he can meet him. There are a lot of little notes and quips Jon makes about Gerry throughout the series thay really solidify the idea that he's excited about him. I think Jon gets excited to pull information together and recognize figures from other statements -- he is the Archivist after all -- but I think some of the fondness Jon applies when talking about Gerry is significant and distinct from how he talks about other figures from statements. Plus, Jon has a reason to empathize with and relate to Gerry, given the fact that Leitners were one of the few things he allowed for the existence of even in season one, and Gerry is clearly so upset by their existence that he's gone around destroying them and beating up Jurgen Leitner himself. Probably hard for Jon not to idealize someone doing the work that he was so desperate for Elias to let him engage in during season one, huh? I think we all idealize and build parasocial relationships based on a feeling of relating to the people who are somewhat out of our reach...a cool goth who destroys evil books and punched the man whose library ruined your life? Might be a little hard not to get excited about the idea of him...��

THIRD ORDER OF BUSINESS: Gerry in the (quasi-) flesh vs. Gerry on the page

So, maybe you're convinced there were some celebrity crush feelings, maybe you aren't, but there's definitely some idealization at play with how Jon views Gerard Keay, Book-Hunting Goth Of Legend. Now let's talk about how that idea contrasts with Gerry, the regular (ish) dude that comes out of a book in America!!!

I think something very fun to note is how much they joke around with each other, basically right off the bat. It's pretty clear to me how much fun they have in each other's company, especially considering Gerry cites literally being in pain while he's existing as a page in the book. Both the crusty intro and Jon's reluctance to take and burn the page could have soured the entire interaction, but they both enjoy each other's company pretty transparently for the whole exchange. Gerry is straight with Jon in a way no one has been through basically his entire time learning about his position as the Archivist, and despite the fact that Jon summons Gerry for a purpose, it's hard not to view the exchange as largely social because of the tone. The fact that Gerry has ONE conversation with him and thinks of him as a friend is I think pretty telling as far as how Gerry views Jon's intentions and trustworthiness. He has a backlog of experience with Gertrude and insight into the ruthlessness of an Archivist, one that we never see calling him Gerry, and he still meets Jon for 20 minutes and goes yeah. I could befriend this dude. I also think this reinforces how Jon feels about Gerry: he's pretty forthcoming with information, even if he fucks around with him a bit, and there's some trust and transparency there that I think reinforces Jon's rare positive view of a dude in his life.

Like, I've said it before and I'll say it again: Jongerry lives in the passage through the Jon Misandry Zone. He can only like a cool fictional goth that he has a reasonable amount of distance from but he's so excited when he meets him irl it forces him to actually learn about him as a person. Idealizing Gerry gives him the motivation to actually learn about another man and untangle how he feels about them!!!

FOURTH ORDER OF BUSINESS: One of these dudes is literally dead

Honestly I'm only Marginally stopped from my rarepair dedication by this fact, but if it's an issue, let's consider:

It's literally a horror tragedy podcast so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say literally any happy romantic ending for characters is inherently an AU anyway, even if the ones folks are invested in somehow all end up living to the end lol. I guess folks can pray for postgame potential but I've already succumbed to how inherently doomed a lot of these characters seem so...the world is gonna be my rarepair oyster I guess!!!

Also, it's a podcast with some level of worldbuilding around reincarnation. Gerry got brought back once, could he be again? Imo we're only limited by our imaginations on that one. Lots of potential to play around with the form him being brough back and sustained could be...and, honestly, same with any rarepairs where one or both parties are dead imo! I'm here to push my jongerry agenda AND support the kneading of canon into something your faves could be brought back to life in. Death should stop no one from wanting Jon to kiss a hot goth dude!!!

LAST ORDER OF BUSINESS: Compatibility??? CHEMISTRY???

Alright I mean...I can't force anyone to find their back and forths cute and flirty like I do but I CAN say why I think this couple has so much fun potential:

Gerry is already used to being around An Archivist and seems to already think Jon is more friendworthy based on the Gerry request. He would probably be a lot more comfortable navigating around him than some of Jon's other colleagues, occasional snacktime or not. I think being in a book owned by two hunters probably gives him enough context for "monsters, but trying to be good in their own way" for him to be pretty levelheaded about Jon. A human connection that's based on enjoyment of each other's company with someone smart enough to not sign a contract might just be good for our spooky little Archivist...Also...

JON IS A STUFFY DWEEB AND GERRY IS A COOL GOTH THAT'S KILLED A GUY!!! Is this NOT the greatest couple concept this podcast could have offered us? The contrast...the meeting of worlds...Jon idealizing Gerry because he's a cool sexy goth and Gerry getting excited because he's got a sexy scary monster boyfriend...it's all there!!! Rife with entertaining potential!!!

Anyway these are my pro-jongerry arguments I hope you all enjoyed my rarepair shipping manifesto. Don't forget to like comment and subcribe and let me just say...once more for the road...

JonGerry Rights

#jongerry #tma #the magnus archives #spoilers #long post

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awkwardbluefish · 4 years

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Ominous

Summary: They were just going shopping. Just shopping. How the hell did it end up like this?

A/n: Blood and implied character death

“All I’m saying is that it’s ominous.”

Tim and Cass, the traitors, just share a look. Cass is smiling, lips twitched up in the faint sign of amusement and humour in his expense as Tim shakes his head despairingly.

It’s a hot summer day. Not only that but the sky is actually clear. It’s smelting and Tim has his hair tied back into that little knob of his as Jason has his everyday leather jacket tied around his waist. Cass has her hair pushed back with a cute yellow headband with a bow on the side. Ridiculously cute and misleading.

They’re walking to the bookstore, the one right next to the Gotham Gazette news paper agency. It’s Alfred’s birthday coming up and they all saw the book he was eyeing in the windowsill last week on their way back from grocery shopping.

Jason honestly wonders how he gets through them so fast. He’s only ever seen Alfred read during their book club and they mostly end up talking idly and snacking on pastries. When does that man take the time to read of all things? Jason wants to know his secret please and thank you.

“Jason,” Tim says and Jason wonders if he could get away with throwing a hand at him and telling him to read between the lines. Most probably not, Cassandra wouldn’t hesitate to bend his fingers back. “It’s the middle of summer, just because the sun is out doesn’t mean it’s ominous.”

Has he learnt nothing about this city? This city doesn’t do bright and happy, this city isn’t sunshines and lollipops and bright white clouds and smiling suns. The only rainbows and sparkles in this city is the shit coming from Dick’s ass.

Cass suddenly raises a brow, smile brightening subtly as Jason blanches and coughs. Tim gives them an unimpressed look.

“It’s Gotham Tim. The sunshine doesn’t come out and play. It ain’t no naive kids drawing that’s for sure.” He says solemnly and Tim stares at him.

“Oh my god,” he says. “Why are you so dramatic. It is not that bad Jay!”

Jason would like to refute that and that’s exactly what he does. “It is though. It’s raining for six months and snowing the other three. Happiness doesn’t happen here.”

Tim begins to speak before blinking and shutting his mouth. A thoughtful expression crosses his face and Cass giggles and oh shit, he’s been caught now.

“Did you just quote ‘How to train your dragon?’” He asks, completely bowled over.

Jason does not flush in embarrassment and he doesn’t not start fast walking. Tim and Cass just got a bit slow all of a sudden. Yeah that’s it.

“What the hell ya’ talking about? I was sleeping during the so called movie night.” He replies quickly and he knows he’s doomed for when Cass does that smile and Tim raises a brow.

“Did,” Cass calls him out, looping an arm around his elbow and dragging him back in between the two. “Cried.”

Tim lets out an snort and Jason huffs, dragging his feet against the pavement to sulk before Tim and Cass heave his ass forward. His said fat ass blocking everyone else’s way. Rude.

“I don’t blame you though,” Tim says shrugging, squeezing into his side as a big hairy man rushes past. “I think I even saw Damian shed a tear.”

“Did,” Cass tells them again, bicep threatening to cut his arm off as he lets out a suppressed cackle that quickly turns into an ouchie. He winches and Cass just pats his shoulder in a small amount of mercy. “Dick too.”

Jason actually does snort and he pretends he didn’t just feel snot leave his nose. Not on his face, not his problem. “That doesn’t surprise me one bit.”

A chuckle escapes from Tim as he shakes his head. “It’s a good movie. I think it’s an unsaid agreement that we’re watching the other two the next movie night.”

“Two movies? Alfred must’ve enjoyed it too then.” Jason says and lets the two turn him down another street. Okay so maybe he ended up in Metropolis once. No need to hold it over his head okay!

“Did,” Cass tells them, a small smile on her face.

Jason turns his head to stare at her. “Woman how do you do that? I know you can read us like we came with an instructional manual or somethin’ but Alfie? That’s impossible!”

“No it’s not,” Tim says this time and Jason decidedly ignores him. He doesn’t like the subtle indication in that sentence. Nope, not happening.

“Secret,” is all Cass says and that’s really not helpful to his situation. Her smile says it all. Well damn them then.

“You’re bullying me, stop bullying me. I’m leaving you.” He says and then he’s sliding from their hold and fast walking to the crossing ahead of him.

He can hear Tim’s amused snort and basically feel Cass’ amusement radiating of her but he’s making a point dammit so when the walking sign flashes green he’s striding across the road quickly.

Dogs nip at feet and toes are squashed but that is completely normal so everyone just pushes through. Literally. It’s shoulder shoving and half assed apologies until Jason is standing victorious on the other side of the street. Take that, looser!

A pinch on his fleshy parts make him yelp and he jumps, if ignoring the raised brows the amused looks from random strangers passing by. Cass simply gives him a smile and Jason blinks.

“What the heck?” He says incredulously.

“Secret,” she says again before they turn their attention back to the crossing.

They make eye contact with Tim and he rolls his eyes at them, halfway down the street and amused. The light is still flashing green and other people sprint across the crossing quickly.

“You’re as slow as a grandma!” Jason’s shouts, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Hurry your ass up!”

Tim rolls his eyes. “I’m surprised whose talking with all that ass you have to carry you dweeb!”

“Fuck you!” Jason responds wisely. “Besides I didn’t quote the movie I just switched it up a bit!”

Tim opens his mouth and Jason is yelling then screaming, eyes snapping open and wide.

Pedestrians give him scowls and cover their children’s ears but Jason doesn’t give a fuck, his heart is in his throat and it’s hammering to an unsung song. Hes surprised he’s still standing. His legs feel weak.

A blue forward car is tearing through the street, crashing into other cars. It’s heading right for Tim and Jason logically knows there isn’t any time to move but fuck logic he say as he screams for Tim to just move.

Cass is running and stumbling before the car even makes impact.

There’s screams, a honk of a horn and the horrifying sound of crunching fills the air. The car makes impact and all Jason can hear is the thump of a body as glass from a window shatters and cracks.

Tim’s eyes lock with his and they’re wide, pained and then they’re rolling into the back of his head as his body rolls atop of the car. His body hits the boiling bitumen and Jason cries out at the cracks that fill the air.

It’s silent and then someone’s screaming to call an ambulance as the blue forward drive speeds off. People are surrounding his little brother and Cass is sliding to his side and her knees are bleeding but she’s cradling his bloodied face in her hands as she leans over him.

Jason can’t focus. He’s being pushed passed. He can’t stop seeing his brothers body flying, crashing into the car and slamming into the road. His arms are twisted and broken in multiple spots and legs should never look like that. Bike tickles the back of his throat.

Cass is slapping his face and then she’s crying. Jason doesn’t know if he’s screaming or if it’s her but someone is pulling her away as she thrashes and cries against them.

The tears are streaming as she makes eye contact with Jason as she’s cradled in another woman’s arms. She’s not fighting anymore. Defeated. She sobs and shakes her head and Jason feels like he’s being plunged into the icy ocean of Antartica.

He can’t move, not now when she’s shaken her head. He can’t move because Tim isn’t moving.

Why isn’t he fuckin’ moving?

#tim drake #jason todd #cassandra cain #dc #batsiblings #blood #death #my writing #mine

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curious-minx · 3 years

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Bob’s Burgers most reliable holiday provides another lowkey enjoyable, but messy episode. Whereas the latest Simpsons strikes a really sore vocal node.

The second holiday episode of Bob’s Burgers’ 11th season, much like the previous Halloween episode, this one also fails to live up to the series’ even higher Thanksgiving standard

That’s not to say “Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid” is not a good episode, but it does fall into the category of Bob’s Burgers episode I typically respond to the least: Character-based storytelling vignettes. The writing on these segment driven episodes tend to be looser and playful bending the show’s reality, but much like every time the other Fox family leaves the Springfield plane of reality into a pastiche styled playground for the writers to plug the characters into.

The overall animation and visual-based gags on this episode offers some of the best moments of the season and series in general. Having the Belcher stories revolve around action movie pastiches of 90’s action movie schlock like Air Force Once, Armageddon, and late 80’s Predator are extremely punny and really grasping hard for satire. The walk to Louise’s Breadator is succinct and makes total sense for Louise’s character to tell this kind of story, whereas Tina drawing inspiration from Air Force One for her story sags the episode down. This episode also has the gall to bring in Gayle, a character that usually elevates all of her episodes nothing much to do until the third and best segment told by Bob. Teddie is also frustratingly nowhere to be seen and Teddie is one of those characters that really only needs a small scene explaining away his absence like in the episode “Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled,” which Variety and I consider to be among the best of Bob’s Thanksgiving episodes.

Nitpicks and reminiscing on past glories aside, what’s most impressive about an episode as conceptual and overstuffed as this one, an episode that’s also poopy and gross-out from the very beginning, still manages to pack undeniable heart. Seeing a character as relatable and sad sack-y as Bob Belcher be passionate about his one favorite holiday reminds me of the everlasting and evergreen Ray Bradbury remark about how everyone is capable of writing poetry as long as you ask them to talk about something they are truly passionate about. Seeing how this episode climax revolves around Gene and Bob’s love of food and proves a powerful sentimental moment. Bob’s Burgers sentimentality works because the show’s core is silly absurdism, light and fluffy gross out gags and quirky twee-ness. Introducing the action movie element feels like the series trying to branch out its audience and try to catch some eyeballs of viewers looking for something more like Archer, American Dad, Rick and Morty, or even Treehouse of Horror style genre exercises. Bob’s Burgers and action comedy feels like putting garlic pesto on cinnamon toast, but Ryan Reynolds doesn’t think so.

Yes, that’s right. The biggest news out of the Bob’s Burgers camp…probably ever…is that the Molyneux sisters, the writers of this very action packed episode, have been hand selected by Mr. Detective “VanWilder” Pickachu himself to be head writers on the upcoming third Deadpool movie. Seeing that we live in a post Russo brothers world and how Dan Harmon was conscripted to punch up Doctor Strange scripts none of this should really surprise me, but I am still very much surprised by this development. The Deadpool 3 creative team and Reynolds is still promising to deliver an R-Rated Comedy, a rating and promise that is very much why Deadpool is the sensation that it is.

In the current media landscape the only way a big budget R-Rated comedy can get made is if it’s attached to something like a mega superhero sized brand. At this point in time Deadpool is the closest thing kids have to a Mel or Al Brooks and it is what it is. If anything Ryan Reynolds personally choosing the Molyneux sisters for a project like this makes me like Ryan Reynolds a little bit more. And he’s a man I previously had no real feelings or opinions about. The only other thing about Deadpool I know about is that the franchise has developed a particularly shitty reputation in terms of its treatment of main female characters and literally freezing them out of the plot. The future of comedy is being driven by the significant increase of women gaining these kind of writing gigs and it’s a beautiful thing to finally see witness. Especially when a company like Netflix has been really shitty to both of its own female driven comedies: Glow and Tucca and Bertie.

Sigh. I am thankful for all the sad little boys and girls wearing too much or maybe the right amount of eye shadow that will inherit this flaming Earth.

Three and half pear shaped pals out of an Oedipus Rex Complex.

////

Nerds! Nothing but a lousy rotten sniveling dweeb! You dorkus-rex! You body pillow huffing geek get over here and let the Simpsons set some things straight for you: A Comic Book Guy driven episode of the Simpsons is often where the show goes off the rails. The Comic Book Guy marriage episode is was one of those late day Simpsons that feel like a bad piece of dreamed up fan fiction that you found on the cutting room floor. Is the show interested at all with the fact that comics and being nerdy have become as mainstream as the Bible? No? They’re still treating geek culture as some sort of low hanging piñata fruit lousy with cheap references in place of actual jokes? Good! I don’t know why I would ever allow myself to think for a second that the Simpsons would challenge its own status quo 32 seasons in, but I keep coming back.

What I should really do is back up. The title of this episode is “Three Dreams Denied.” Ah, Dream Denial! That’s exactly what anyone watching an animated sitcom hopes for: dreams being crushed. This isn’t some kiddy Davy and Goliath feel good wholesome fable, this is the Simpsons where characters are given dreams, and those dreams get denied. The next part of the title I want to break down is the fact that there are specifically three dreams that being denied. Three! That’s a comedy number! As long as you have three of anything you’re doing comedy. Plain and simple.

During the Robert Zemeicks arc of the Blank Check podcast Griffin Newman, co-host and comedian extraordinaire and someone I generally admire a lot, has been bringing up the fact that he’s been spending a lot of his Quarantine rewatching the entirety of the Simpsons. By the episode of Used Cars Newman has already gotten past the Movie era and is in the 20th seasons. One observation he made about later day Simpsons is that these episodes have a tendency to end abruptly on a pile of unusable and reality bending plots still in the process of tying themselves up. And there’s no better/worse example of this than this episode.

Comic Book Guy goes to a comic book convention. Bart becomes a voice actor after befriending the comic book guy’s temporary replacement. Lisa feuds over her saxophone chair in the school orchestra with a new pretty boy voiced by the underwhelming Ben Platt. One of these plots is not like the other. This used to be the signature of a quality Simpsons episode that managed to tweak and divert expectations from the typical A & B sitcom storylines. This episode fundamentally fails to deliver on any of the three storylines and what makes it worse is that it’s an intentional choice.

Now I know I have spent this review harping on Comic Book Guy, but he’s not even why this episode for me is such an abomination. And it’s not because the cutesy, flimsy Lisa subplot either (although I do find it noxiously amusing that a week after an Yeardely Smith took issue with the Queer Interpretation of Lisa would feature her going moony eyed over a boy voiced by a defiantly queer actor), no, what tips this episode into the territory of the truly terrible for me is the Bart becomes a voice actor subplot.

The only defining quality of season 32 that I can discern is that the flagrant trolling on behalf of the writers. Can you believe we had three vignette driven episodes of the Simpsons in a row? Can you believe we would have meta reality breaking voice actor related moments back to back? When Lisa Simpson’s voice actor Yeardley Smith voiced the real world character of herself in the previous Podcast based episode it was clumsy and awkward as hell. Having Bart become a voice actor that ends up voicing a character of the opposite gender is the sort of kind of a funny thing that resembles a joke that the latter day Simpsons revel in. The characterization of voice acting work in this episode is downright insulting and explains exactly why this show suffers.

The character of Phil that serves as the Comic Book Guy’s replacement is a working voice actor. He let’s Bart know this by doing a series of completely basic, broad and unremarkable impersonations that Bart is seemingly impressed by. All you have to do to become a successful voice actor is do a silly voice and you’re golden. Maybe from the perspective of a series as lazy and indulgent as the Simpsons is when it comes to voice acting. The complete denial of Julie Kavner’s deteriorating voice that at this point sounds like gentle elder abuse. There are times when Kavner is downright incomprehensible at times. The other oldest member of the Simpsons voice talent, Harry Shearer was wrongheadedly trying to defend his right to voice Characters of Colors because in his words, “the job of the voice actor is to play someone who they’re not.” Obviously these words were not spoken by someone that thinks very highly of acting either. There is no one job an actor has to do, because the job of an actor is always changing from job to job. The character of Phil is not even attributed to anyone! I have spent over thirty minutes getting testy with IMDB search engines and reading another website’s recap and no one can tell me who did the voice of the Voice Acting Character on Simpsons. Lovely.

Much like the Comic Book Guy the Simpsons heart is in bad shape. This is a show whose entire existence seems to be made out of spite. Or to garner enough funds for Matt Groening to prevent him from ever having to serve any prison time for his exploits on the Lolita express. Great, see I’m bringing up the Lolita Express at the end of a Simpsons review. This episode really left me in a bad mood, but thankfully that’s what Bob’s Burgers is for.

SKIP. The only people that should watch this are people teaching a screenwriting class that need examples of what happens when you break your episode by haphazardly shoving three plots into one episode. If you can’t tie up one story in a satisfying manner then you really shouldn’t be telling a story at all. There’s also one really magnificent visual joke involving Homer and beer tea that is absolutely wasted on this episode.

#Bob's Burgers #Deadpool #MCU #2021 #TV series #TV review #TV #The Simpsons #voice artist #voice acting #rant

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minjoonalist · 5 years

Text

Predilection | Prologue

pre·di·lec·tion

noun•

a preference or special liking for something; a bias in favor of something.

“My predilection for you is going to get me trouble”

+++

Pairing : Jikook x Reader [Feat. Taehyung]

Words: 1.6k

Genre: Angst, eventual Smut, fluff

Warnings : explicit wording

Description: you want him, he wants you, but he also wants him, and him wants you- but him hurt you. So You hate him.

+++

(Currently)

Okay so maybe it wasn’t the fact that you were jealous but maybe more of the fact that you were currently stuck by yourself, watching two of the hottest guys you knew make-out heavily on the couch above just to spite you.

Your crush and his ever so wonderful boyfriend/ the man you hate most Jeon jungkook.

you were only sitting there for a good 5 minutes but it’s felt like eternity ever since you’ve turned down the two’s rare proposition for a threesome-

“Fuck…” jimin moans from up above you, when jungkook suddenly reaches down to grab his clothed cock. he noticeably deepens their kiss ,sticking his tongue deeper into silver haired boy’s mouth and while doing so… he stares tauntingly down into your eyes as if to say “this could be you”

You regret it. Boy do you regret it….

A week ago….(9:50 am)

“ you are so lucky!”

“Ugh I wish I were you”

“ what I would give to trade places with you?”

no I’m not. I wish you were too. I mean we could?

You wanted to reply to every girl that was currently congratulating you is if being bunked with park jimin and jeon jungkook were a nobel prize itself. To you it was more like they were celebrating your life sentence.

“Are you kidding me…” you sighed.

“Damn , tough luck kid”

your best friend taehyung chimes in next to you just as your professor moves on to the next housing mates of your class trip.

“ bunked with the man you would kill and the man you would kill for? Ouch”

you slump down into your seat, hoping to god that a pair of heads dont look up in your direction and it surprised you when they didn’t. Wouldn’t they want to know whose despicable soul it was that ended up intruding on their perfect chance of a get away?

You stared down to them. Your heart aching at the sight of the couple who were currently cuddled happily in their seats a few rows below.

“Tae-“

“Shhh he has yet to say my name and Im praying to the gay cupid himself that this man is in my housing…”

you scoffed at him “please, the chances of you and that man becoming house mates are a good slim to none-“ your laugh was cut off by tae’s small squeak the moment he realized just whose names were left on the list.

“ Oh my- in all the holy fucks be with me…” he suddenly gasps. Very dramatically might you add and practically crushes your tiny hand in excitement. You winced.

“ last but not least, I was left with only a pair of two and that would be both Mr. Kim taehyung and mr. Min yoongi” your professor finishes up his list. Your best friend nearly squeals in delight and which makes multiple classmates-including your crush glance in both of your directions.

The both of you blush and it mostly being tae when yoongi himself looks up at him. Tae’s eyes widen “ s-sorry” he mumbles making eye contact with everyone and finally yoongi. “ I -uh…” he trails off but never finishes only drowning in embarrassment. Everyone slowly, but eventually turns their heads away from him except yoongi himself. He sighs in relief but only to pull it back when when the man sends him a wink and sly smirk before also turning away.

“ I think my dick just fell off…” he breathes out when all was normal.

now was your cue to tease tae and tell him how much of a dweeb he was for causing all that attention and when nothing came from you, he looked worriedly your direction.

you were so frozen in your seat, you might as well have been a statue. Your breathe sticks to the inside of your lungs when a certain silver hair boy turns in his boyfriend’s arms and looks up in your direction with big curious eyes.

You swallow when they linger over tae for a moment and then snap to yours. when he notices you he then smiles up at you brightly with his perfect white teeth and gives you a silent wave. This made your heart and the lower parts of your stomach heat up uncontrollably. A strong sense of adoration and lust falling over you, but then anger, guilt and shame immediately afterwards. You put on a shy fake smile back towards him and he falls for it , turning back to the comfort of a certain raven haired asshole.

Your shy smile turns into a hard glare for your old friend jungkook, who stares forward unknowingly and not even bothering to look up at whoever cause all that noise. Not to you.

“ is there an off button for those lasers?” Tae questions you before poking your cheek with a pout. Your class had neared it’s end and you’d cease to stop glaring at over at the couple.

“Tell me, between burning alive and strangling him until you see the life leave his eyes… how much did you want to kill jungkook?” You release your vicious energy and turn towards him with sickeningly sweet smile “ how about stabbing him 33 times in the back until all the blood drained from him in various openings? “.

the both of you were making your way down your classroom’s stairs when taehyung sends you a creeped terrified look. “ that was gruesomely specific” he replied and the both of you were just getting ready to walk out when a hand touches his shoulder. he turns and you follow along, facing a cool smiled blonde. Tae lets out a pained whimper that only both you and him could hear. You snicker slightly stepping back.

“Tae- ..hyung , right?” yoongi pushes up his glasses and puts out his hand to shake. Tae only nods at him, giving a quick and soft smile. You knew without a doubt he was currently exploding inside. “ I was hoping we could discuss our living arrangements for a.. bit?” yoongi attempts, but hesitates when tae practically sends him a horrified look.

“or not?” he shakes his head and that’s when your best friend snaps out of his trance. “No!- I mean….no that’s a great idea” he then agrees , taking the boy’s hand and finally sending back a genuine smile and the two share a stare for a moment too long. You on the other hand had unnoticeably excused yourself the second he fixed himself to talk to tae.

you: heading to the café , I’ll get us a table

you managed to text tae when making your way across the huge campus. Eventually, you were just about a few feet away from the campus’s coffee shop when a familiar laugh entered your ears, making you glance behind you.

Jimin.

Oh for fucks sake….you cursed yourself when you saw the striking couple making their way towards you. Jimin, being the perfect model he was, strutted confidently under his much taller boyfriend’s arm. jungkook squeezed him closer mumbling something that only the both of them could hear and jimin had once again burst out with laughter.

You wanted to pout , it felt as if you were intruding on them and a private moment that was meant soley for the two. You turned away quickly before they could notice and continued towards the shop. Although you felt you were being as invisible as possible- what you didn’t feel was the pair of eyes that followed you the second you left.

Jimin whines into kookie’s hold “ pleaseee can we go talk to her?” he pouts wrapping his arm around kook’s waist. Jungkook’s content look , stares ahead to your walking figure and he could feel his little ball of happiness breathing up his neck “ not yet” he just replies calmly and looks down to him before pecking his lips.

Jimin frowns “but she’s so cute when shes flushed” he says and kookie looks down to him in awe when a dark look enters his eyes “I wonder how flushed she’d look under me…” .

It was kook’s turn to frown. He stopped dead in his tracks to tower over the confused looking boy. “no” he simply answered “no jimin, not her. Anyone but her” he looks at him almost desperate.

Jimin had never seen him act out this way, He was usually so well cool and well reserved. Jimin speaks “ Jeon, you asked me for a threesome and I told you that I would be the one to pick the person. Besides whats wrong with YN? Shes super sweet from what I’ve seen of her and god shes so fucking hot...” he bites his bottom lip already imagining how amazing you would look between the both of them.

Jungkook would almost blush at his boyfriend’s new behavior . Fuck what was he suppose to do? It seemed like jimin’s eyes were so set on you from the second you both waved at each in class . Yeah, jungkook saw that and it took so much in him not look up at you and see your beautiful smile. Not when he knew the second he did you would make it go away.

Jimin has never voiced his opinion on wanting someone other than him and the two had been together since senior year of highschool.

And thats when it hit him..that painful suppressed memory of your history. He had no choice he would have to tell jimin what happened, after all he only wanted to make him happy right?

“Jimin...YN she...well the girl fucking hates my guts “ he confesses.

and she has every right to...

+++

Prologue | Next Chapter | Masterlist

#bts #bangtan #jimin #jungkook #bts scenerio #bts smut #bts smut dirty #bts au #bts crack #bts angst #jikook #bts fanfc #najjoossii #bts imagine #btssmutclub

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kariachi · 4 years

Text

Last episode of the day, and then I’m gonna be trying to organize shit on my Kevin Episode Order list. Actually been looking forward to this one, because I have reason to believe it has Information that I, as a Kevin fan and fanwriter, require.

Let’s start up to Adrenaland Jr.

I would like to point out that I typed up the above at 2pm and it is now 5pm. I am a disaster and mildly afraid of this episode. Also went out to dinner. Scallops and shrimp, it was nice. Moving on.

I still love that Max joins in on the selfie at the end of the intro. I’m sorry, it just warms my little black heart.

Ben, disheartened because Gwen wins at everything she does. Ever.

“You guys will be thanking me for days!“ Good luck, Max.

Oh look, they have been taken to a themepark. The Adrenaland Jr of the title. Adrenaland but kiddified. They do not seem impressed at this first look.

Awww, Max thought this was the same as normal Adrenaland and was trying to be cool. Poor Max.

Okay, scratch that. Ben is unimpressed, Gwen is more than happy to get another Adrenaland pin for her collection. As somebody who collected pressed pennies until they started asking for a whole damn dollar for them, I can relate.

Well she’s a little bit enthusiastic, in case anyone wondered if she and Ben were maybe related.

Max is trying so hard. And Ben is so unimpressed. And Gwen gives no shits because she has a pin to acquire.

Oh gods, she’s gonna have to beat a carnival game to get a pin. All her skills will be put to the test.

And it looks like this really is the one for kids, that is defs a ‘my first rollercoaster’.

The puns are horrible. That alone is worth not coming back to this park.

Ben: I must make this a good ride, so help me god *goes alien*

And we’re back to Gwen’s PinQuest

Oh she was so sure of herself, but Gwen this is a carnival game and so probably rigged to some degree.

Ben please don’t ruin this for the small children.

Left the littles nauseated after altering the ride, which is against the rules. Good job Benjamin, I hope this weighs on your conscience.

...these people are chill, very politely explaining why what Ben did was wrong and giving him a second chance to not fuck with shit before they’re going to move on to actual reprimands.

Ben, I swear to fuck.

Not the teacups, dear gods leave the teacups alone

Goddamnit Ben

Leave the people on the jungle safari alone, child! wtf!

Max is giving him a fourth chance to behave, honestly he’s a more patient man than me.

Even the park staff have had enough.

Stewart (worker of the game Gwen is failing miserably at) is both amazed she’s doing so poorly and also trying to be encouraging. Not quite working.

Also I’m nearly halfway through this episode and wondering where my son is at. I know he’s in this episode I’ve seen screenshots

There is a ‘ride’ that is just playing in a load of socks falling from the sky. Honestly I can almost see the appeal.

There’s my son! Bootleg-ing a Sock Tower. I am both disappointed and proud somehow.

Fucking flails, child? Have you considered adding maybe an ounce of chill to your diet?

Please let these two end up commiserating over how lame these rides are.

(I will admit though I did kinda want this to be something I could put as Kevin officially meeting Gwen, have him show her how to beat that game because he’s bored and holy shit she’s bad at this. It would’ve been nice and a good start to him kinda liking her while still giving her cousin shit.)

Kevin!

“There’s definitely something strange going on here“ Yes and it’s about 4′10 with an attitude problem and no sleeves

Oh look, a Kevin again. I think he’s ruining the day of the people on a ferris wheel, but it’s moving too fast to be sure.

“Dweeby-son and Dweeby-senior“ I feel like I should be judging him for the lack of variety but honestly fuck it, stick to a theme kiddo, live your dreams

“Of course you’d be here at the baby park“ Bitch, you are here too!

Oh lords and Ben can’t even hear him from up there

“See Ben, Kevin likes this park. It is cool!“ Max please.

“Better stop him before he starts destroying somethign else“ Just the tone Ben uses here, and the look on his face. Like a beagle owner whose dog just got really quiet in the backyard so they know it’s halfway across the county by now.

The boys pausing a fight on a roller coaster so a bunch of little kids could go past, because Kev’s a jerk and Ben is reckless but they’re not bad kids at heart.

Damn, Kevin is kicking ass and taking names today

Awww, little kid with a watergun trying to put out Heatbast

Gwen, meanwhile, is about to snap and start wearing people’s skins if she doesn’t beat this game. Kinda worrying Stewart.

Gwen is holding this man hostage until she beats this game. She is the biggest threat to this park right now.

Ben can at least read a room enough to figure out Kevin’s in a fouler mood than usual. Ponders if Kevin has issues with Adrenaland he’s working out with violence. And I am paused right here because, again, I’ve seen screenshots and I am scared.

Yep, my son is in a Mood.

Oh lords the boys ruined Gwen’s near win. Everybody run for shelter!

Sometimes, you look at these boys, and you think ’if they had any sort’ve chill, would they just die?’

Gwen so pissed off she knocked both of them back to human shape and has them cowering with naught but tone and expression

Even when she’s pissed she tries to be reasonable.

Oh gods Kevin pain incoming.

...welp. It’s brief but it damn well don’t need to be longer, we get plenty of info right there. Especially when you keep in mind that this is a visual medium and every choice is deliberate especially with shit like this. Gotta love that ‘subtle’ implication through the use of commercials that Kevin was raised by an alcoholic. If you didn’t read this in slightly forced manic tone, you are wrong.

Also I like the difference between the view we get of Kevin when it’s Kevin’s flashback as opposed to Ben’s. Ben’s flashbacks of Kevin in school have all had him as a joyful tormentor, active, outgoing, and very forward. Meanwhile, the little bit we get from Kevin’s pov has him very clearly alone, head down, not even glancing at the people around him. He doesn’t look up in the flashback until he’s home, and even then the look is one of contempt as he looks towards the front room. For the commercial, for his guardian, for both? We don’t know for sure. Then, when we come back from the commercial to face him again, he just looks tired before turning and heading up the stairs.

Actually, I am still horribly curious. I’m fairly certain all the other flashbacks with him, including his own, include his sleeves being gone, while they’re still around for this one. And the house he built his watch in was very clearly a one-story, while this one appears to be two-story, given the stairs and that Kevin seems to have just come in. Brings me back to my earlier wondering about if he was in foster care or something when we first met him. Or maybe he’s stuck in a dual custody situation, who knows. Just interesting little bits and pieces.

Gwen feels sorry for Kevin, as well she should, everyone should, somebody protect my child.

Ben: I’m done! If you’re a dick because your said then god as my witness you will stop being sad!

Kevin got his ride, and they’re getting kicked out before Gwen can get her pin.

The Tennysons are confused and Kevin unimpressed at the threat of using teddy-bear-based excessive force to remove them

Oh lords they’re being shoved out using squeaky teddybears

Max: At least we aren’t banned this time Park Employee: btw, here’s a You’re Banned pin

Kevin Levin, maintaining the tough-guy facade

Kevin: This park is only for dweebs Ben: This picture of you enjoying the fuck out of that ride I altered says otherwise

Gwen: I thought we got through to him Ben, who knows Kevin much better than she does: Oh we did

Gwen: *much feeling sorry for a Kevin* Kevin: *much ‘wow I actually enjoyed myself with other people for once’*

11/11 for Kevin and for Gwen

#achi liveblogs #ben 10 2.os #somebody protect my son #also it's like 7pm

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thisislizheather · 4 years

Text

The Witches Are Coming by Lindy West - A Review

I’ve been waiting for this book of essays to come out for months and it was so, so worth the the wait. I know it’s asking a lot, but can this woman please just write a book every year? Or every six months? That’d be great, thanks. Favourite parts ahead!

“This moment in history is about more than individual interactions between individual people. Those matter, too - it matters how you made your subordinate feel with that comment, and it matters quite a lot that the woman on the bus went home and sobbed after you groped her - but, as Rebecca Traister wrote in December 2017 on The Cut: “This moment isn’t just about sex. It’s about work.” It’s about who feels at home in the workplace and who feels like an outsider - which, by extension, dictates who gets to thrive and ascend, who gets to hire their replacements, who gets to set their children up for success, who gets credit and glory, and who gets forgotten. It’s about who feels safe in public spaces and who doesn’t. Which is to say, it’s about everything.”

“We gobble up cable news’ insistence that both sides of an argument are equally valid and South Park’s insistence that both sides are equally stupid, because taking a firm stance on anything opens us up to criticism.”

“We kept letting Adam Sandler make more movies after Little Nicky, because white men are allowed to fail spectacularly and keep their jobs.”

There’s literally an entire chapter on Adam Sandler movies that is perfection. You have to read it. Seriously, just pick this up at a bookstore and read that one chapter, if nothing else.

I loved all of her points about how there was endless discussion about The Ted Bundy Tapes when it came out earlier this year and how we debated whether this murdering monster was handsome or not. And how that same type of debate is somehow in the same arena as when people debate whether Elizabeth Warren is “likable” or not.

There’s a part in the Ted Bundy special where the judge sympathizes with Bundy and goes on a ridiculous tangent about how it’s “such a shame” that he turned out that way when he had so much potential, it’s truly disgusting to see a judge commiserate with a rapist and murderer, but it happened and it’s wild to see. “That anecdote is often held up as evidence of Bundy’s charisma - even the judge sentencing him to death was seduced by that smirk, that finger wave. But it is the most blatant, overwhelming evidence we have for the opposite. Men don’t need charisma to succeed. It doesn’t matter if men are likable, because men are people who do things, who don’t have to ask first, whose potential has value even after it is squandered.”

“Chasing likability has been one of women’s biggest setbacks, by design. I don’t know that rejecting likability will get us anywhere, but I know that embracing it has gotten us nowhere.”

Absolutely in love with the fact that she loves the movie Clue as much as I do.

I really liked the chapter that she discussed Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP, even if I did wish that she went in on her/the brand harder.

So in love with the chapter where she talks about South Park and its creators. I’ve always hated that show, it’s never been good, and I can’t understand who the hell would be into it. It’s never been funny, edgy, smart. Insane that it’s still on.

Maybe I’m really reading into it, but there’s a tiny part where she mentions that PETA sucks and I can’t stop all my little inside screams - it’s hard to find somewhere who dislikes all the same stuff as you.

“Men think that misogyny is a women’s issue; women’s to endure and women’s to fix. White people think that racism is a pet issue for people of color; not like the pure, economic grievances of the white working class. Rape is a rape victim’s problem: What was she wearing? Where was she walking? Had she had sex before?“

“Whenever talk turned toward solutions, the panel came back to mentorship: women lifting up other women. Assertiveness and leaning in and ironclad portfolios and marching into that interview and taking the space you deserve and changing the ratio and not letting Steve from accounting talk over you in the morning. During the closing question-and-answer period, a young woman stood up. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice electric with anger, “but all I’ve heard tonight are a bunch of things women can do to fight sexism. Why is that our job? We didn’t build the system. This audience should be full of men.”

“Sexism is a male invention. White supremacy is a white invention. Transphobia is a cisgender invention. So far, men have treated #MeToo like a bumbling dad in a detergent commercial: well intentioned by floundering, as though they are not the experts. You are the experts. Only 2.6 percent of construction workers are female. We did not install that glass ceiling, and it is not our responsibility to demolish it.”

When talking about what men can actually do to help women: ”“Do you ever stick up for me?” sounds childish, but I don’t know that gussying up the sentiment in more sophisticated language would enhance its meaning. It isn’t fun to be the one who speaks up. Our society has engineered robust consequences for squeaky wheels, a verdant pantheon from eye rolls all the way up to physical violence. One of the subtlest and most pervasive is social ostracism: coding empathy as the fun killer, consideration for others as an embarrassing weakness, and dissenting voices as out-of-touch, bleeding-heart dweebs (at best). Coolness is a fierce disciplinarian. A result is that, for the most part, the only people weathering those consequences are the ones who don’t have the luxury of staying quiet. Women, already impeded and imperiled by sexism, also have to carry the social stigma of being feminist buzzkills if they call attention to it. People of color not only have to deal with racism; they also have to deal with white people labeling them “angry” or “hostile” or “difficult” for objecting. What we could use is some loud, unequivocal backup.”

“I know there’s pressure not to be a dorky, try-hard male feminist stereotype; there’s always a looming implication that you could lose your spot in the boys’ club; if you seem too opportunistic or performative in your support, if you suck up too much oxygen and demand praise, women will yell at you for that, too. But I need you to absorb that risk. I need you to get yelled at and made fun of, a lot, and if you get kicked out of the club, I need you to be relieved, and I need you to help build a new one.”

The entire chapter about the complications with Joan Rivers is such a great one.

“You can hate someone and love them at the same time. Maybe that’s a natural side effect of searching for heroes in a world not built for you.”

Okay, so the only thing that we strongly disagree on is her previous love for Adam Carolla. Always hated that man.

““Common sense’” without growth, curiosity, or perspective eventually becomes conservatism and bitterness.”

“There are pieces of pop culture that you outgrow because you get older. Then there are pieces of pop culture that you outgrow because you get better.”

“Art has no obligation to evolve, but it has a powerful incentive to do so. Art that is static, that captures a dead moment, is nothing. It is, at best, nostalgia; at worst, it can be a blight on our sense of who we are, a shame we pack away. Artists who refuse to listen, participate, and change along with the world around them are not being silenced or punished by censorious college sophomores. They are letting obsolescence devour them, voluntarily. Political correctness is just the inexorable turn of the gear. Falling behind is preventable.”

Talking about Ricky Gervais:” “People see something they don’t like, and they expect it to stop,” he said. “The world is getting worse. Don’t get me wrong, I think I lived through the best fifty years of humanity, 1960 through 2015, the peak of civilization for everything. For tolerances, for freedoms, for communication, for medicine! And now it’s going the other way a little bit.” “Dumpster fire” has emerged as the favorite emblem of our present sociopolitical moment, but that Gervais quote feels more apt and more tragic as a metaphor: the Trump/Brexit era is a rich, famous, white, middle-aged man declaring the world to be in decline the moment he stops understanding it.”

“Adam Carolla isn’t angry because he’s being silenced; he’s angry because he’s being challenged. He’s been shown the road map to continued relevance, and it doesn’t lead back to his mansion. He’s angry because he’s being asked to do the basic work of maintaining a shared humanity or else be left behind. He’s choosing the past. Gervais and Carolla are not alone in presenting themselves as noble bulwarks against a wave of supposed leftwing censorship. (A Netflix special, for the record, is not what “silencing” looks like.)”

Talking Louis CK: “Less than a year after his vow to retreat and listen, CK made the laziest and most cowardly choice possible: to turn away from the difficult, necessary work of self-reflection, growth, and reparation, and run into the comforting arms of people who don’t think it’s that big a deal to show your penis to female subordinates. Conservatives adore a disgraced liberal who’s willing to pander to them because he’s too weak to grow. How pathetic to take them up on it.”

“Like every other feminist with a public platform, I am perpetually cast as a disapproving scold. But what’s the alternative? To approve? I do not approve.” - This is probably my most favourite line in the entire book

“Not only are women expected to weather sexual violence, intimate partner violence, workplace discrimination, institutional subordination, the expectation of free domestic labor, invisible cuts that undermine us daily, we are not even allowed to be angry about it.”

“I’d been taught that when ordinary people try to do activism, they look stupid. Of course now I know that there is no effective activism without the passion and commitment of ordinary people and it is a basic duty of the privileged to show up and fight for issues that don’t affect us directly. But maintaining that separation has served the status quo well. It keeps good people always just shy of taking action. It’s tone policing. It’s the white moderate. But it’s changing.”

“Diet culture is a coercive, misogynist pyramid scheme that saps women’s economic and political power.”

Definitely the best thing I’ve read all year. GO BUY!

#The Witches Are Coming #Lindy West #this is liz heather #Liz Heather #book review #great book 2019 #great book fall 2019 #feminist #feminism book #feminism

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geraldcreed · 5 years

Text

Careful Planning.

“You wear a mask even in your own home? Everywhere ya go? Seems a bit odd o’ ya.” Clyde wondered aloud to Omen in his Westfall drawl.

“For good reason, I assure you.” The man said as he brought Clyde a cup of tea. “The less people know, the better. Have you decided if you’re heading back to Stormwind yet?”

The Westfallan looked down at the tea quizzically. No doubt he wished it was some strong swill instead. “Well, if you don’t mind, I think I may take some time here, maybe help you all out. I could probably use some time away from everythin’ and get myself back in workin’ order. I got a big job to do when I get back to civilization anyways.”

Omen cocked his head to one side, “What might that be?”

Clyde reached into his old pants pocket, “I found this in the hive. I know who it belongs to, and I am meanin’ to give it back to ‘im.”

He placed a ring on the table, dark in color with a familiar gemstone. Carefully, Omen picked it up and looked it over. It was dirty, but he knew the ring well. “Whose is it?” He asked, though he already knew the answer.

“Feller named Gerald. He came with me and the group to Silithus to figure out what that big sword thing was. Seemed kinda nerdy, dweeb-y guy.” He chuckled, “Good man though, I think he’d like to have it back.”

Omen squeezed it in his hand before putting it back on the table, “Right, well, good luck finding him. I hope you do, I am sure he’d enjoy having it back.”

He was tempted to take it for himself, to have his keepsake back, but he could not reveal himself yet. “That does not seem like that big of a task though.”

“Oh naw, it isn’t. See after that I’m gonna recruit him and together we are gonna kill Horace Jinklestein.” He explained rather calmly, taking a gentle sip of tea.

“Oh? Why is that?”

“Bastard sends us out there without telling us, practically a suicide mission. Collected a chunk of Azerite too, and that man can’t hold that much power. Who knows what he’s doing with it right now?”

Omen had experiences with Horace. The gnome was there when his cousin Logan was imprisoned, and Horace and Gerald had nice adventure in Pandaria seeking ancient mogu treasure. Horace was troublesome and selfish, putting himself above everyone else’s safety. He was bound to kill someone, but he could also be used as a pawn if played correctly. “Well, in the meantime make yourself at home and gain strength. Ask the others about odd jobs, but be warned...”

He leaned over the table, “If they suspect you of anything untrustworthy, they will not hesitate to kill you.” Omen stared at the man as he sipped his tea.

Of course he trusted Clyde, but a little fear goes a long way.

#personal storyline #omen #horace #clyde #wra #vicari

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seriousshit88 · 6 years

Note

Stiles falls into a patch of poison ivy in the Preserve (in his defense, it's not supposed to BE in California at all.) Cue Scott scrubbing him down with detergent and exfoliant, and then careful, tender application of calamine lotion. Just buddies being dudes, right? Except Stiles can't get the memory of Scott's hands on him out of his head.

Loz. This fic turned out to be over 3 times longer than it was supposed to be. I’m still not sure I did your prompt justice, but thank you for being patient with me.

“This is torture,” Stiles groused.

“Scratching is just going to make it worse, dude,” Scott said as they made it back safely to their tiny, two-bedroom apartment. He scrolled through his phone looking for info on poison ivy. And based on Stiles’s description, it was definitely poison ivy and not the far-more-likely poison oak. Because Stiles had the kind of luck that allowed him to find the lone patch of poison ivy in all of California.

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one whose skin feels like there are thousands of fire ants crawling all over. Oh, my God! This is the worst!” He flung both of his shirts to the living room floor and stalked to the bathroom, where he could finally get a good look at his splotchy chest in the mirror. He cringed at the sight. “The. Worst.”

Hours ago, he and Scott were out in the Preserve following up on a very credible report of a Bigfoot sighting. Being a freshly-minted FBI Agent meant Stiles had to investigate stuff like this in the event there were real X-Files somewhere (he was pretty sure they existed, even though his more senior colleagues gave him weird looks whenever he asked). Unfortunately, they never found Bigfoot. But somewhere along the trail, Stiles tripped and fell onto what he thought was a normal bush. The itching didn’t start until the ride back home. It only got worse from there.

Maybe the mere presence of poison ivy in California was the real X-File all along. It’s something that certainly required investigation. By someone who wasn’t him.

Scott followed Stiles into the bathroom, tutting in sympathy once he saw Stiles’s bare chest. But then he cocked his head a little to the side in confusion. “Okay, how the hell did you get rashes under two shirts? It looks like you just stuffed a bunch of poison ivy under them.”

“I don’t know,” Stiles whined. The bathroom was too small for the both of them to comfortably be in there. They weren’t smushed, but it was close. It made Stiles feel funny in ways that had nothing to do with itchy plants.

Stiles made an absent-minded attempt to scratch his chest, but Scott swatted his hand away.

“Ow!”

“Turn around. Let me see your back.”

Stiles did as he was told. His hips knocked into Scott’s on the way around. The funny feeling only intensified.

Scott let out a soft gasp. “Oh, man.”

“What? Is it bad?”

Stiles felt Scott brush his fingers gently across a spot on his back. The incessant itch briefly gave way to an involuntary shiver.

“Um. Well. Let’s just say I’ve seen pepperoni pizzas with clearer complexions.”

“I know you’re used to your patients having four legs, fur, and barking to communicate, but your bedside manner for humans sucks ba-aahhhhhh…” The itching all over Stiles’s body ceased almost immediately.

“How’s my bedside manner, now?” Scott asked a little too smugly.

The sound Stiles made was somewhere between a moan and a sob. “The absolute best. I love you.” Thanks to the pain drain (itch ditch?) Scott so graciously administered, Stiles no longer felt like separating himself from his own skin.

Scott directed Stiles to sit on the edge of the tub, and proceeded to rummage through their medicine cabinet for supplies to clean and disinfect the rashes all over Stiles’s back. This involved touching. Lots of touching. And with the distraction of the horrendous itch reduced, Stiles couldn’t block out the feeling of Scott’s fingers on his bare skin. They felt good roaming all over his exposed back. They also felt good good, and Stiles really didn’t want to have to explain the confused boner he knew was just waiting to pop up at the worst moment. With how his luck was going, that was a distinct possibility.

“Are you okay? Your heart rate is through the roof right now,” Scott said.

Knowing Scott could easily hear the lie he wanted to tell, Stiles decided to go with something a little closer to the truth. “I’ve been better, dude.”

Scott patted his arm. “I’ll get the calamine and finish up back here, then you can do your front. We’ll be through in no time. If the itching flares up again, I can help you out with it, if you want.”

Though grateful for the itch relief, Stiles hated when Scott put that kind of strain on himself. They hadn’t discussed it, but Stiles knew Scott was doing it for the animals at work who needed it. Sometimes that was a lot.

“Thanks, but the calamine should be enough, right? I’ll manage.”

“You sure?” Scott asked as he trailed his fingers along Stiles’s side in a spot he very well knew was incredibly ticklish. “It’s really not a problem for me.”

“Scott, I swear to God, don’t you dare do what I think you’re about to do,” Stiles warned.

“What?” No one did fake innocent like Scott McCall did fake innocent. Stiles loved it.

“Just get the calamine, and no tickling, you dweeb,” Stiles said with no real heat. He couldn’t see Scott, but he knew Scott was smiling to himself.

The lotion was shockingly cold, and Stiles flinched a bit when it made first contact with his raw skin. Between Scott’s hand and Stiles’s back, though, it warmed pretty quickly and started feeling more like a massage than basic first aid. After the shit-tastic day he’d had, Stiles found it was way too easy to just…drift…

“…probably going to blister later, so try your best to keep it clean. You might have to sleep sitting up. If it gets worse, we’ll head straight to the ER. I’ll fill mom in, too. Oh, and you need to wash the clothes you’re wearing. Don’t forget the shirts in the living room. And I’ll wash mine too, just in case.”

Stiles’s brain barely processed any of what Scott said, but it sounded important. “Thanks, Dr. McCall,” he replied.

Scott handed him the lotion and hurried out of the bathroom, presumably to get started on the stuff he had to do.

With Scott gone, Stiles felt like he could finally breathe normally. He made quick work of his torso, and now that he felt significantly better, Stiles very gingerly went to help Scott.

***

Sleep was impossible. Stiles couldn’t find a sitting position comfortable enough without getting calamine lotion everywhere. He couldn’t put a shirt on or a blanket over himself, so add “cold” to the list of reasons why he couldn’t sleep. But that wasn’t the worst part. Every time Stiles closed his eyes, his thoughts went back to Scott’s hands on him, fingers roaming with the lightest pressure, just enough to make Stiles wonder what it would be like if Scott touched him for real. He could always claim curiosity, but who was he kidding? This wasn’t the first time he’d pictured Scott’s fingers brushing a nipple or slipping beneath his boxers’ waistband. A more mature person would deal with the situation head-on. Stiles, however, was not that person.

Sometime around 2am, the calamine wore off. There was no way Stiles would be able to reach his back to reapply the soothing lotion. With the itch rising in intensity with each passing second, and the impulse to scratch becoming harder and harder to fight, Stiles realized he had a very difficult decision to make.

***

Scott’s door was cracked. Stiles peeked in and saw Scott curled up beneath his covers and sleeping like a baby. He really hated having to do this.

“Scott?” he whispered into the dark bedroom.

No response.

He tried again, this time stepping into the room. “Scott? I kinda need you right now, buddy.”

Scott stirred. “Stiles?” he asked sleepily.

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry to wake you, but the itch came back, and-”

He couldn’t get the whole sentence out before Scott threw back a corner of his covers and scooted over to make room for Stiles in the bed.

“Are you sure? I mean, I’m sticky with this calamine crap, and I don’t want to ruin your sheets.”

“I can wash them later. C’mon, get in here.” Scott patted the empty spot next to him. He wasn’t fully awake and hadn’t sat up, yet, but he still wanted to help. A tiny part of Stiles wondered if he wasn’t taking advantage of Scott’s generosity.

The miserable urge to scratch kept gnawing at him, though.

“Okay.” Scott’s sheets were pleasantly sleep-warm under Stiles’s butt, and his headboard? Surprisingly comfortable. If he had to sleep sitting up, this was definitely the best way to do it.

Scott’s hand found his in the darkness. The itch was gone a few moments later.

“Thanks, man,” Stiles sighed. Relief flooded through his veins and radiated across his skin. For the first time that night, Stiles felt like he could relax and get some sleep.

“Stiles?” Scott asked, giving his hand a little squeeze.

“Hmm?”

“No more Bigfoot tips, okay?”

Of all Scott’s touches so far, this one had to be Stiles’s favorite, and if it meant not getting to fall asleep with the soft weight of Scott’s hand in his, Stiles wasn’t so sure he could agree to that.

“Sure thing,” Stiles said knowing full well he didn’t mean it.

Scott burrowed a little deeper into his covers, never letting go of Stiles’s hand. “Finally got you in my bed, though,” he slurred into his pillow before letting out a soft snore.

Yawning, Stiles felt his eyelids droop. Blissful sleep was just around the cor-

Stiles’s head whipped around. Wait, what did Scott just say…?

#foreversciles #sciles #scott mccall #stiles stilinski #mobile users there's a cut #my fic #thank you bigfoot #lozenger8

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