#i probably would be less confused if i had a tumblr group chat of my own lol

[beansricejc]

JOHN WICK X READER: The Courier

part one (part 2!)

authors note: this is my first drabble on tumblr, I do plan on making these into a small series! please lmk your thoughts if you’d like! thx 💕

summary: you are an up and coming courier for organized criminals. you bump into buzzed and confident John at a cocktail party while you’re in the middle of work, but you let him know you don’t have time for his games.

warnings: NSFW blurb, alcohol, cursing, motorcycles?

John wasn’t one for parties. Well, he pretended that he wasn’t one for parties. It’s part of the image, the gruff and tough hitman, best in the world. He had a reputation to uphold.

But he wouldn’t deny a good drink and some conversation every once in a while.

The bar and lounge area in the Continental was quite, well, bustling. Filled with assassins, crime lords, you name it. If they were someone in the criminal underworld in NYC, they were here tonight. John could feel the tension between gangs in the air, the rules of the hotel hung above everyone’s head.

No business conducted on hotel grounds.

Of course, no one dared to break that rule.

Here was John, in a congregation of hitmen that he has known over the past several decades. Chatting it up with booze in hand, and on their breath. Some would call them OGs. In the game long enough for people in the industry to know not to fuck with them. Especially John. These old dogs didn’t need new tricks, in fact, all of them had body counts that combined, would make the High Table shudder.

But of course, what comes up, eventually must come down. They were aging men. As early as their late 30s, and as late as their mid 50s. There was fresh meat lurking on the sidelines, waiting for their chance to be in the spotlight.

And that’s were she comes in.

Y/N.

New to the game. Well, fairly new. She wasn’t an expert, however, she was very good at what she did. Was she a killer for hire? Not exactly. Y/N had created an industry no one in the underworld knew was needed. In fact, it was very convenient.

An anonymous courier business.

You need to send over files but the Feds are on your ass and probably have acess to your fax machine? Call Y/N. She’ll be at your door in 20 minutes to drive across the city to deliver it for you. You forget it’s your wife’s birthday because you were too busy pile driving your side piece to remember? Y/N will pick up something for her at Target and get it to your door in an hour.

You get the idea.

Have a hard drive of the password to a Bitcoin account that’s worth 5 million dollars? Y/N will bring it to whoever needs it in the city, on her modified motorcycle, gun on hip and helmet on head, safe and sound. She had a perfect track record of delivering things for crime syndicates around New York City for the past year and a half.

Enemies? Not for Y/N. Every criminal group used her services. So much in fact, she had even hired a small team. She was growing. Slowly. But growing.

It wouldn’t take long for John to notice Y/N. In fact, he would take notice in a few moments, right after he took a large sip of his bourbon that he just had to have tonight. John was chuckling amongst colleagues, as he noticed Y/N walk into the lounge, seemingly with work on her mind. Her helmet was still on her head, and she wore a form fitting protective biker suit that matched everything she wore.

Black.

John frowned in confusion. He’s never seen anyone wear full motorcycle gear into the hotel before, much less one that was sort of crashing a party.

Y/N walked quickly, right up to the man himself, Winston. She wasted no time, unzipping her well organized backpack and handing Winston a protected manilla envelope, with god knows what inside. The elderly man smiled kindly at the helmeted woman, quickly signing some sort of touch screen device with his finger, before she efficiently put her bag back on over her shoulder, and began to walk away.

John raised his eyebrows at the sight. Who was that? He couldn’t help but form a soft but playful grin as his eyes danced around her figure that was covered by that riding suit.

“Any of you recognize that one?” John blurted during a discussion his friends were having. The men turned their heads towards Y/N, all chuckling softly.

“Yeah, Y/N. She works this delivery service for people like us in the city. Super under the table type stuff. You seriously haven’t heard of her?” Marcus asked, as John shook his head.

“No. I’m not familiar.” John huffed out. John was a curious man, and he just had to know more. So, enticed by this mystery woman, he wriggled through the thick crowd of guests to catch up to her. Before she could make it any closer to the door, John gave her a light tap on the shoulder. The woman jumped a bit, before turning around.

There he was. The man. The myth. The legend. John fucking Wick. Y/N almost froze in fear at the mere sight of the man who towered over her. She had to swallow the lump that formed in her throat.

John stared down at her, trying his best to look through the blacked out facial shield on her biker helmet. He was just itching to know what she looked like. Guess he’d do it himself. He was a man of little words after all. What was she going to do, fight him?

John took his large hands and placed them on her helmet, applying pressure and lifting it up and off of her head.

“H-hey! What the hell?” Y/N stuttered out, as John took a moment to study her delicate features.

Wow, she’s fairly easy on the eyes. John thought to himself as his eyes trailed all over her face. With nice cheekbones and gorgeous eyes, anyone who had sight could tell that this was a woman you could never forget. An impish smile curled onto the man’s lips, his very well maintained black beard framing his mouth to perfection. Y/N unintentionally took in his scent of patchouli and tobacco. Of course she could also smell the whiskey on his breath but that went without saying.

“Well, aren’t you just a pretty thing?” John hummed out softly at the young woman, as she grabbed her helmet and plucked it with force from his grip. It was clear that this infamous hitman had a few bourbons to drink already tonight, and he didn’t mind finding a pretty woman to take up to a hotel room after a few more.

Y/N grumbled as John bit his tongue to force himself not to say anything else in this moment.

I’ve only heard stories about this guy, scary ass stories. What a pain in my ass. Better deal with him so I don’t make an enemy.

John was maybe a decade or two older than her. Jesus christ. Y/N had daddy issues but this would be a whole other level if she decided to even pursue something like John.

“Sorry. I gotta go, still working.” Y/N spoke to him as professionally as possible. John displayed a perky smile on his face, his eyes racing with attraction.

Just look at her. I’d be crazy if I didn’t shoot my shot.

“You can’t do just one drink with me? I’m sure your client would understand if they knew who you were with.” John offered, gesturing towards the hotel lounge full of people.

Y/N laughed nervously, her heart racing at the mere sight of this man. The way this older man with obvious charisma was certainly getting to her.

And here John was, thinking about how pretty Y/N’s lips would look wrapped around his hard cock. Her head bobbing as he used his large strong hands to grab a fistful of hair, making her take him deeper into her throat each time. Maybe she’d gag and plead with him to be gentle. Maybe she’d be a total pro at it. Maybe a mix of both. With tears in her eyes as she whimpers in pain, while her legs trembled for John to make his way over to spread them apart for the real fun.

“I’m really sorry, I just have a few jobs-”

John’s long pointer finger swooped under her soft chin, lifting her face to meet his gaze. Y/N had no idea what to do, there has never been a man this forward towards her in her life. Just the thought of John’s touch alone made hundreds of women wet with excitement. Y/N knew she shouldn’t be one of them, it wasn’t smart mixing work and love.

As they say, don’t shit where you eat.

John could sense tension striking the area where they stood. Right now, there was nobody else in the room besides for this woman. He took her as a challenge, new blood. Young, pretty, and probably naive, right? Someone he could have a bit of fun with upstairs after he bought her a few drinks.

If John were sober right now, he would have probably said ‘goodbye’ in a polite and formal way, smiling as she left the building. John with some liquor in him though, was a completely different man. The rumors people spoke in the criminal underworld were true, this man though and though, was a total playboy.

So of course, when a new and unfamiliar pretty face in town crossed his path, he just had to have her. At least for the night. He was especially curious about what she had underneath that form fitting riding suit, not that it left too much up to the imagination.

Y/N cleared her throat.

“Right, uh, I’m gonna, uh, go.” Y/N mumbled, pulling away from John’s electrifying touch, taking a subtle deep breath. John blinked his brown eyes of his a few times, almost lost in his train of thought in the few moments that he had her in his gentle but firm grasp.

Before he knew it, she was hurrying out of the hotel doors. Y/N didn’t think twice to get out of that awkward/terrifying/intimate situation. So many emotions were flowing through her at once, her heart beating at about a mile a minute. It didn’t take long for her to climb onto her motorcycle, start it up, and peel off down the busy street, away from that god forsaken hotel.

And then there was John. Shocked, stunned even. A woman who didn’t immediately jump at the chance to have drinks with him? Unbelievable.

He could hear his group of fellow middle aged hitmen snicker at his failed attempt at picking up the woman, and all he could do was clench his jaw, and walk back to the bar.

They’d meet again. Of course. It would take some time, John was a patient man, and Y/N was a working woman. Their paths would eventually cross again, especially in the industry they were involved in.

And maybe, just maybe, John could have his chance with Y/N, and actually convince her to have that drink with him.

Even if it was just for some fun.

#john wick #john wick x reader #john wick x y/n #keanu reeves #john wick x you #jw4 #keanu #john wick imagine

[kyanako5972]

History of my username!

Warning, this post contains discussions of Among Us. (This warning is mostly for me, but you can heed it too)

Have a look into my soul.

The 5972 part of my name is something like a signature. Those are my favorite numbers. I've been using them in my usernames for a long time.

My TVTropes username is k5972. Probably the oldest one that I still have to this day. Simple and versatile.

My first DeviantArt username was PinkPeonyPie5972. Eventually, I used a free premium (now called "CORE") membership to change it to JazzLover5972, as that was becoming my main username. (They used to give free premium memberships for sending holiday cards)

(I've been on those sites for 10 years? What?)

And thus JazzLover5972 was the username I had when I made a Tumblr. Fun fact: I made this account because my college English teacher set up a blog as part of our assignments.

So... 2020. For me, the year began in the Philippines. I got closer with my cousins. We set up a group chat by the time I left. My sibling set up a bunch of nicknames. I was "kyak".

Then... you know what happened in 2020. Sometime in April, my cousins told me about this cool, obscure game called "Among Us". Besides them, there seemed to be a ton of Filipino players around.

There was something of a trend of using "confusing" names like "who", "where", "me", etc. So I used "ako" (me) to match the Filipinos. Then I used "anak" (term of endearment for a kid). Then "kyak". Then "kyanak". Then "kyanako".

Between 2021 and 2023, I slowly switched my username to "kyanako" on any platform that would allow it. I had to add the 5972 to deviantArt since the username was already taken... 14 years ago by someone who never posted anything. Anyway, that means that I've been kyanako5972 for less than a year on deviantArt and Tumblr.

So if you think my signature looks like both "JL5972" or "K5972", that's why.

Since "kyanak" came before "kyanako", does that mean that the combination of kyanako and oboetemasuka is... kyanak-oboe?

#kyanako talks

[vasilibox720]

@acastleintheair replied to your post “so what exactly is the point of tumblr group chat?”

There must be a point?

if there’s not a point... what’s the point? 

#acastleintheair #ask me anything #i probably would be less confused if i had a tumblr group chat of my own lol #tumblr #Like it sounds cool but it’s also a public group chat with private access so is it like a text podcast where you just look at other people’s #conversations?

[st-just]

Semi-coherent thoughts on Oathbringer

So, overall probably the most even of the series so far, I’d say? Not to say I didn’t like it – I really, really loved the finale, and there were plenty of great lines, but my god were there a lot of pages spent on nothing happening (honestly it kind of reminded me of the latter volumes of ASOIF, in that sense) – then again, I suppose that is kind of just the nature of these 1000+ page fantasy epics. There were some setting reveals that really were fascinating, and legitimately a bit surprising. Going to have to take a break from the series until the friend I got Rhythm of War for is done so I can borrow it, though I suppose that’s no huge loss compared to the however many years everyone else had to wait in between them.

So in terms of pacing it’s...bad. Or, well, that’s probably a bit unfair. There’s absolutely plenty of fat to cute, but again I do think that might just come with the territory of committing to like a dozen POVs across a tree’s worth of paper (though there were absolutely like 100+ page stretches where I’m not actually sure the plot meaningfully progressed). That said, honestly the main pacing issue isn’t so much the bloat as, like – okay, Dalinar’s arc was a pretty consistent throughline, but for Kalidan and Shallan it kind of felt like there was one whole story in Urithiru, and then from the mission to Kholinar and the journey through the Cognitive Realm felt like its own separate novel? I mean, not sure if that makes any sense, but it really did kind of feel like there was a whole additional first act of table and stakes setting once they arrived in the city.

Though, to argue in favor of bloat for a moment – I was chatting with  @lifeattomsdiner​ bit back about The City We Became, and they mentioned that the size of the cast meant that you don’t actually really get to know any of the protagonists that well on their own. And I suppose that is the advantage of the 1200-page-per-volume epic cycle – even with characters you only really meet in interludes like Szeth, Vargo and Venli (incidentally three of my favorites), you spend enough pages inside of their head that you do really get to see what makes them tick and learn to love/hate them. Speaking of – props to Sanderson as an author, really – it’s vaguely astounding that he manages to keep track of that many internal monologues and actually make them seem distinct from each other.

Breaking things down by character a bit more – this book really did actually enjoy/get invested in Dalinar way more than either of the previous two, which again I’m told is more or less the expected reaction. Given the amount of tumblr brain poison I’m voluntarily exposed myself to, it’s honestly more than a bit of a nice change to see a character on a redemption arc who is actually unambiguously in need of redemption. Because holy shit, pulled, like, exactly two punches in terms of making the guy as genuinely loathsome as possible before he starts breaking. And, well, obviously he was on a redemption arc, but there was a bit near the end there where I really did think that the book was going to cut to black on an ‘end of Act 2, maximum darkness before dawn’ moment with, like, all the Skybreakers and him kneeling before Odium as the city fell. But I suppose that would be a bit much of a cliffhanger for a series with installments this weighty.

This was pretty clearly Shallan’s ‘getting over my personal bullshit’ book, like WoR was for Kaladin and WoK was for Dalinar, though spicing things up with increasingly severe DID as the book went on did make things more interesting at least. Also, I have no idea if this is actually true, but according to the friend who pestered me into reading these when someone asked Sanderson if he’d intentionally written her as bi he just kind of shrugged and said ‘sure, why not,’ which is fun. It was more than a bit, I don’t know, forced?, to have Wit just wander in from stage left and give her a desperately needed therapy session while she was in the middle of a breakdown and propel her development for most of the rest of the book, but on the other hand she’s pretty easily the main POV I’m most invested in by now, and the live triangle the text repeatedly threatened me with never actually became a thing, so I can’t really complain too much. Honestly super curious about the Ghostbloods and what they want out of her given, well, for a shadowy murderous conspiracy, everything they’ve wanted out of her so far has been pretty much entirely benign. Like, of the three major shadowy murderous conspiracies they’re easily the least problematic for the future of humanity at the moment. She should just commit and join for real imo.

As always, Kaladin’s POV is mostly good because it means we get more Syl, who is the single best character in the entire story I’ve decided. But also, I really quite liked his whole sojourn with the newly freed Parshmen and dawning realization that ‘wait these people are basically entirely right’. Also, the delicious delicious angst of spending however many dozens of pages getting to know them and then the wall guard and then the two groups killing each other in a confused melee while he has a mental breakdown. Easily best moment in the book (but then I’m a miserable person).

Adolin is honestly significantly more entertaining to follow than I really expected, though I’m still not like especially invested in him as a character. His relationship with his tailor was quite charming, though, as was the fact that he cares enough about fashion that he learned to sew. Honestly I was rather expecting/slightly dreading his main arc this book to be, like, inadequacy or insecurity over being almost literally the only member of his family that’s not a Radiant, so it’s kind of a pleasant surprise that he seems to have just accepted that (too well-adjust, I guess?). It is however extremely funny that the fact he just straight-up murdered one of the kingdom’s most important aristocrats and the major antagonist of the first two books seems to have resulted in absolutely zero consequences of any kind for him.

In terms of minor characters, the one I’m most invested in by a pretty substantial margin at this point is Venli, as she’s getting a front row seat to all the most interesting bits of the setting, ‘cultist growing increasingly disillusioned about return of ancient and terrible eldritch god’ is a really entertaining character arc just in principle, and because as of the end of the book she represents the morally objectively correct perspective and political line I’ve decided and will fight people about. Curious what sort of superpowers she’ll get. (Vargo and Szeth are still both great though, too).

The Unmade are really fun as a worldbuilding conceit/excuse for weird fucked up monsters. And it really is kind of funny that at least a third of the God of Evil’s nine generals/children/favoured beasts are, like, at conflicted or ambivalent about the whole ‘exterminate humanity and remake the world as a monument to my glory’ thing.  

Really, on an extremely shallow and entirely aesthetic level, between the evil red crystal/lightning aesthetic, the remote mountain fortress as a stronghold of the heroes in the face of the coming apocalypse, tears into the realm of spirits, the quirky evil minibosses each handling corrupting/conquering a given center of civilization, etc, the whole thing kind of reminded me of Dragon Age Inquisition. Which reminded me of how disappointing the story to that game was, which made me like the book more by comparison, but anyway. Yeah, good book.

#books #oathbringer #stormlight archive #cosmere #brandon sanderson #in this essay I will #book review

[a-pretty-nerd]

Tomura Shigaraki x AllMight!Daughter!Reader

Chapter 3 

Premis:

When The League of Villains discovers that AllMight has a daughter, they are quick to snatch you up and hold you hostage. Shigaraki had a careful and thought out plan, but that was before you got there. Now you're in the mood for some not-so-healthy rebellion.

Word count: 1,556 

Warnings: Panic Attack, themes of depression and self-hatred. Later chapters will include violence and nsfw content. 

A/N: 

I'm gonna try and have a pretty regular posting schedule. From now on I'm going to try posting once a day, even of its just a headcannon, I wanna post once a day now. I'M GOING TO TRY AND POST ONE CHAPTER A WEEK. Especially for this series, I'm having a lot of fun with it but Tumblr doesn't seem to like it and refuses to post it to the hashtags. Sorry, I know this chapter is kinda short, but I feel like this series deserves a slow, intense, burn. 

Don't forget, I have a Patreon, where you can join my discord, vote on new projects, and make requests! Thanks for reading!

Chapter 2 Chapter 4

Days passed. 

It all felt like a strange blur. You wondered around the abandoned house the villains called their hideout for the time being. You spent hours watching the news that Shigaraki constantly played. Despite being the daughter of the Japan’s #1 hero, there wasn’t a single report of your disappearance. You were confused. 

“They’re probably keeping the investigation quiet. Y’know, so we don’t see them coming.” Dabi told you one day as you sat on the old dusty couch and watched. You watched helplessly as the group came and went, always having someone stay behind to ‘babysit’ as Mr. Compress referred to it. 

You were allowed to wander around the old abandoned building the villains called their hideout. At first, you thought it was a house but now you realized it was an old office building. The villains mostly stayed in a specific part where they were made comfortable. It appeared that only a certain part of the building had power. Everywhere else was dark and cold and uncomfortable. 

“Yeesh, you stick!-Take a bath!” Twice shouted at you one day. You frowned and crossed your arms over your chest and stuck your hands under your arms. 

“Speak for yourself! Not my fault you guys didn’t exactly grab me a change of clothes, or let me piss alone much less shower!” You shouted in frustration. It all seemed to dawn on them at once, maybe they hadn’t exactly thought this through all the way. 

“Y’know what? You’re right! I’ll be right back!” Toga declared with a smile. 

“Where are you going?” Shigaraki asked as he watched her head for the door. 

“It’s a surprise!” She closed the door behind her and the room fell silent. Spinner soon approached only to recoil in disgust. 

“Twice is right, you do stink.” He grunted. 

“Thanks…” You grumbled. 

“Here take this and go wash off.” He held out a raggedy towel. You were directed to a bathroom with a makeshift shower in it and told to wash off before the bathroom door closed. The water was horribly cold. 

You stood under it and let the water wash over your naked body. Man, you really were dirty. The cold water soon became warmer and you lost yourself in the feeling of it. You closed your eyes and melted. Soon, the feeling of tears running down your cheeks mixed in with the sensation of your wet hair tickling the back of your neck. You crouched down and held your knees to your chest as you began to sob uncontrollably. You couldn’t stop it, the pain in your chest flowed out through your lips are you cried. You held yourself tight, your fingers digging into your legs. The pain was so intense, and your thoughts so muddied, you could see yourself sitting there, just crying. Objectively, you watched yourself and criticized. 

This was all your fault, your mother and father are worried sick about you. All because you pushed yourself too hard and couldn’t fight back. You’re a mess. You deserve this. You’ll die here, they’ll kill you before you can see your parents again. You’re worthless. You can’t even protect yourself. 

These thoughts only made the pain more intense, it made it worse. You sobs grew louder and louder and the pain grew and grew. It got to the point where you felt unable to control yourself. You began lashing out, hitting your own head, and scratching your legs. Then another thought emerged. 

This wasn’t your fault. If it weren’t for him. If it weren’t for your father and his stupid fucking hero work, you’d be home right now. You’d be safe and sound and unbothered by this hero/villain mess. He didn’t even want you to come to Japan, so why were you here? He doesn’t even want you. And your mother, she’s the one that sent you. This was her idea. This was her fault too. Anger fed the pain in your chest and it ached. The attack on your mind and body ragged on, until you heard a knock on the door. 

You felt unable to move, unable to stop. You cursed yourself again. They could hear you, couldn’t they? They could hear you crying. You expected someone to yell, but there wasn’t a voice. The door slowly opened and shut. The curtain was slowly drawn back and two eyes looked down at you. You shook violently as you looked up. Suddenly you became very aware that you were naked. 

“Why are you crying?” Toga asked as she knelt down to get closer to you. You couldn’t respond. “What’s wrong? We’re not going to hurt you, I promise. Hey, don’t cry, it’s alright. Look, I brought you some new clothes.” She reached out a hand and rubbed your naked back. 

“I-I-I’m sorry.” You croaked. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she reassured, “you’re safe here, no one is going to hurt you. And if anyone does, you come to me, alright?” 

“O-Okay.” 

“Are you done washing off?” You shook your head no. “Okay well finish up and try these on. I think you’ll like it.” She set the new clothes on the bathroom counter before leaving you. You sniffled and struggled to stand, but you managed. You took deep breathes and tried to soothe yourself. You felt drained and empty now, if not a little bit better. You stepped out and looked at the clothes on the counter. They were soft and comfortable, how did she guess the right size of underwear but the wrong size shirt and pants? They were just a little big, they fit fine where it mattered, but just a little baggy everywhere else. Definitely not something you’d pick out for yourself, but it would do for now. 

You brushed through your wet hair with your fingers and stared at yourself in the mirror for a moment. Your eyes were red and puffy, your face flushed. It made your heart race to know that everyone was well aware you were crying. You opened the door and everyone turned to look at you again. Oh god. Toga pulled herself away from what looked like a chat with Shigaraki. 

“Damn! One size off! I knew it!” Toga shouted as she approached you to examine the clothes on you. 

“They’re fine, really.” You mumbled to her as she pulled on the pants at the band. 

“Are they comfortable at least?” She asked folding her arms over her chest. 

“Yes. Thank you.” 

“Oh don’t mention it! Next time I’ll have to take you shopping with me!” She smiled. Next time? Take you? You stared blankly at her. She pulled you with her to sit on the couch and watch more of the news. 

“You know. Now that I think about it. I don’t think he wants it out that I exist.” You thought out loud. 

“What do you mean?” Toga asked. You turned to her with a blank face. 

“Its always been a secret. I could never talk about my dad, even when I was little. Everyone assumed I just didn’t have a dad. Even when we came to visit when I was younger, no one knew I was his daughter. If the public asked, I was his niece. They always told me it was for my own safety. I get that now.” You chuckled to yourself. “But that’s probably why there’s no report on my disappearance. No one can know. I’m just a dirty little secret.” 

“Xavier! Over here!” 

Your mother called as she stood partially outside a taxi. Xavier, your “boyfriend” waved back to your mother as she dragged along his luggage. 

“Ms. Y/L/N! I’m sorry I’m late! The flight was delayed, I came as soon as you called.” Xavier was a clean-cut, academic genius. He wore slacks and a button-up on a daily basis. He was incredibly smart with several degrees by his early twenties and already on his way to becoming a very successful lawyer. He was handsome, conventionally so. He was handsome, smart, thoughtful, and generous. He was everything your mother wanted for you. 

But that was it, he was a gift from your mother you took reluctantly. She knew his father from work, it was all set up. You had been together for roughly a year now. You liked him enough to date to try and love even. He was nice and even fun at times. But you were lying every time you told him you loved him. You had been meaning to break it off for some time now, but you were unsure. You feared disappointing your mother, again. You were afraid to hurt him. You thought your trip to Japan would allow you to clear your mind and think about things before making a decision. 

Your mother brought him back to your father. Who was far too busy worrying about you to really care to give Xavier the time of day. Xavier had a very specific quirk, one that came in handy in the legal field. He could tell whether or not someone was lying just by making eye contact with someone. He was now going to be a key player in getting you back. He, like your mother and father, was not going to rest until he had you back. You can be sure of that.

Taglist:

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love @craftybean13 @babayaga67 @imjustverable

#mha x reader #bnha fanfiction #shigaraki tomura #tomura shigaraki x reader #Tomura Shigaraki #tomura shigaraki smut #tomura x you #tomura shiragaki #Tomura Shigaraki x All Might!Daughter!Reader

[eldritchteaparty]

Chapters: 13/20 Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Sasha James, Rosie Zampano, Oliver Banks, Original Elias Bouchard, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane, Melanie King, Georgie Barker, Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Basira Hussain Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Fix-It, Post-Canon Fix-It, Scars, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I'll add characters and tags as they come up, Reference to injuries and blood, Character Death In Dream, Nudity (not sexual or graphic), Nightmares, Fighting

Summary: Following the events of MAG 200, Jon and Martin find themselves in a dimension very much like the one they came from--with second chances and more time.

Chapter Summary: Martin contemplates the future, now that he realizes Jon is recovering his powers. Then, when they return to work, a body is found in the tunnels beneath the archives.

Chapter 13 of my post-canon fix-it is up! Read above at AO3 or read here below.

Tumblr master post with previous chapter is here.

***

“Wake up.”

Martin opened his eyes to the immediate sensation of a headache, followed by the slightly less immediate sensation of pain in his back. On top of falling asleep against the wall, he’d probably overdone the sake a bit. Or maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he just didn’t feel good.

“Ugh.” He could tell from the light coming in through the window that the sun was just starting to come up. Jon stood in front of him, holding out his hand.

“Come on.”

Martin took the hand and got to his feet, but had to lean against the wall for balance as soon as he was up. Jon reached for him.

“I’m all right.” Martin moved Jon’s hands away.

***

It was very late when Martin woke again. He’d managed to sleep most of the pain out of his back, but his head still hurt and his mouth was dry. His back was to Jon’s side of the bed, and he assumed Jon would be gone by this time—at least in the other room, if not at work—but just as he’d decided he really was alone, he felt movement behind him.

“Hey.” His voice felt scratchy. “I didn’t think you were here.”

“I am.” Jon’s hand touched his back under the covers. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better.” He felt Jon move closer to him, and the pressure from his touch grew stronger. “No—I mean—I’m fine. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me, I’m just talking.”

Jon pulled himself closer still, until his chest was pressed against Martin’s back, and his legs were curled into the space behind Martin’s. Martin reached for Jon‘s hand in spite of himself, pulling his arm tighter.

“Do you want breakfast?” Jon asked.

“Sure. Just give me another minute and I’ll—I’ll go get it started.”

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to make it. I asked if you wanted it.”

“Oh.” He squeezed Jon’s hand. “That’s really—nice—but honestly, I don’t. Want breakfast. But thank you.”

“Ok.” They lay in silence for a few minutes before Jon spoke again. “Do you want—some time?”

“What?”

“By yourself, I mean.”

“Not particularly.” That was actually the last thing he wanted. At the same time, though he didn’t want Jon to feel like he had to stay. “But if you—”

“No.” Jon shook his head against Martin’s shoulder blades.

“Look, if—hang on.” Martin rolled over to face Jon. “What I’m trying to say is—you don’t have to keep doing this for me.”

“Doing what?”

“Acting like—well, like this is all real. Like it matters. Like—like we have a future.”

Jon lay still for a moment, then reached for Martin’s face. Martin couldn’t help it; he clasped Jon’s hand in his. He so desperately didn’t want to be alone, yet he couldn’t stop offering Jon the chance to leave.

“Martin.” Jon spoke softly, so that even if they hadn’t been alone only Martin would have heard him. “I don’t know what’s in the future, but this—us—is real.”

Martin sighed. “I don’t mean—it’s just that I feel stupid.”

“Why?”

“Well—you know, like—when I got worried about us moving in together. I wanted it to be for the right reasons and all that, blah blah blah, but really—who cares. It’s not like it’s forever because—we don’t have forever. You never thought we did.”

“It wouldn’t be any different.”

“You don’t know that though, because it’s never been any different for you.” Martin closed his eyes and concentrated on the feel of Jon’s hand on his face. “And—and you don’t even want it. It doesn’t bother you. And that just—hurts.”

Jon was silent.

“And yes, I know, I’m being incredibly selfish and it’s wrong for me to even want that, I get it—”

“It’s not wrong.” Jon’s lips closed over his. He kissed him back, but only for a moment.

“Jon, I want you to know—nothing’s changed. I’m going where you go. Wherever that is.”

“I know.”

“And whatever happens, I’ll—I’ll stay with you. Until I can’t. And then—”

“Please. Not—not now.”

Martin opened his eyes.

“And there is—there is one thing I won’t do again.” He let go of Jon to touch his chest, to touch the place his hand could find now without even searching for it.

Jon nodded. He pulled Martin’s hand away from him, and pressed his fingers to his mouth.

***

Martin was tired at work on Monday. Despite spending more time in bed than usual over the weekend, he had somehow slept much less. Melanie wasn’t in yet; Tim and Sasha were chatting in the assistants’ office when they arrived. Sasha looked up and broke away from the conversation when she saw them.

“Morning. Just so you know, maintenance just got here—they’re doing their quarterly check on the tunnels today. So if you see them around the archive—that’s why.”

Martin nodded. Since their first dinner all together with Melanie, Martin had realized—remembered—that there was nothing secret or hidden about the tunnels here at all; there never had been. Sure, they were a historical oddity, and as Melanie’s interest in them had suggested, their connection to the prison had long made them a source of rumored paranormal activity—but mostly, they were a safety liability to the Institute. So, while they were generally off limits, the maintenance crew performed regular upkeep.

He sat at his desk and tried to concentrate on something—anything—but he wasn’t very successful. There were some new requests in the system for research materials, but he wasn’t feeling particularly excited about those just yet; maybe he’d get to them later in the day. He checked on the Leitner group in the database, just in case something had gone wrong in the notification system he’d set up, but no—those were all still checked in and on the shelves.

He looked over at Jon; he seemed busy enough.

“Jon,” he called over, trying not to disrupt Sasha and Tim. “Is there—anything I can help with?”

Jon shook his head without looking up. “Not really.”

Martin slumped back into his seat. For all the futility he might have felt before, in the other world—he had never felt this completely directionless. Or useless.

“Wait,” Jon said. He started to shuffle through some of the files on his desk. “Actually, if you want to, there is something you could take a—”

“Jon, it’s fine.” Martin shook his head. “And don’t do that. Any of—what you just did.”

Jon looked at him with slight confusion, then looked back at his desk after he realized what Martin meant. He hadn’t even realized he’d been picking up Martin’s feelings. “Sorry.”

“It’s—I know.”

He had just about decided that prepping those research requests was better than sitting in the office after all when a man walked in, looking extremely pale. Martin didn’t recognize him, but the badge and lanyard around his neck indicated he was part of the maintenance team.

Sasha immediately broke off her conversation with Tim. “Can I help you?”

“I’m sorry—there’s no one at the front desk and—we need to call the police.”

“What?” Sasha straightened up and set the folder she’d been holding on Tim’s desk. “What’s going on?”

“There’s—” He wiped at his face with his hand. “We found a body down in the tunnels.”

“Oh.” Sasha’s eyes grew wide. “Oh.”

“Ma’am—I’m sorry—we really should—”

“Right, come on.” She was walking for the door, taking the man gently by the arm to go use the phone at Rosie’s desk. “Tim—get Elias. Call him or—or go find him if he doesn’t pick up.”

“Right.” Tim already had his phone in his hand and was pulling up Elias’s number.

“Oh god.” Jon was already at Martin’s side, pushing him toward the door. “Come on.”

“Jon, what’s—”

“Have either of you seen Melanie?” Sasha asked as they emerged, worry visibly spreading through her features now. The man who had come into the office was speaking into the phone next to her. “You don’t think she would have—I mean, she doesn’t even have a—wait, you’re not going down there, are you?”

“We are,” Jon said, pushing ahead. Behind them, out of the corner of his eye, Martin saw Tim head out of the office in the opposite direction.

“Jon,” Martin said, “what is—” Jon was already walking past the small maintenance crew; they had gathered outside the trapdoor that led into the tunnels and were talking in low voices to one another. They fell uncomfortably silent as they watched him head down the steps, and Martin had to pick up his pace to catch up with him.

“Hey, Jon—come on—”

“This is bad,” Jon said. “I’m—I’m sorry. I should have—”

“Jon.” Martin was still struggling to keep up with him as Jon followed the curve of the tunnel walls ahead of him. “Tell me what’s going on. It’s not Melanie, is it? Please tell me—”

“It’s not Melanie.”

Martin was relieved, but only for a moment; that meant it was someone else.

“Jon—”

“You’ll understand when you see.”

Martin started to ask Jon again to tell him when they arrived at the first junction in the tunnels, and Martin did understand. On the floor, in front of them, was the body of Elias Bouchard—exactly as it had been left when Jon had killed its most recent occupant.

“Shit.”

“Martin.” Jon turned to him and reached for both of his hands. “Whatever is about to happen—don’t forget where we are. Don’t put yourself in danger.”

“Why would I put myself in danger? What are you—”

“Please.”

“Jon, I don’t know what you’re—”

“Shh.”

Martin heard Sasha’s footsteps coming around the curve of the tunnel.

“Jon?” she called. “Martin?”

“We’re here,” Jon said flatly, just as she came into view.

She walked slowly toward them, with her eyes on the sprawled figure on the ground; the recognition registered on her face just after she reached the spot where Jon was standing.

“Oh god.” She turned toward Jon without thinking, and wound up turning into his chest, her hand over her mouth. Martin made eye contact with him over her shoulder; Jon looked as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. He had just raised a hand as if he were going to attempt to comfort her when she turned back toward the body.

“Who would do this? What was he even doing down here?”

Martin glanced back toward Jon again; he seemed lost in his thoughts.

“I—I don’t understand. This doesn’t make any sense. What—why is he dressed like that?” She moved as if she were going to step closer, and then thought better of it. “Oh god.”

Martin couldn’t decide what to do; he had just made up his mind to reach for her arm when they heard more footsteps coming down the tunnel hallway. Sasha gasped when they were joined by Tim and Elias.

“Elias? But I thought—”

Elias looked at her, then from her to Jon and Martin, and finally to the body.

“What is this?” he asked, looking around at all of them again. “Is this—some kind of joke?”

Tim also looked around, ultimately meeting eyes with Martin. “What’s going on?”

“I—” He couldn’t see Jon—Sasha was standing between them—but he recalled the words he had spoken right before everyone had joined them. “I don’t know.”

“Is it—real?” Elias asked, stepping even closer. For a moment, Martin thought he was going to touch the body, but he didn’t. “Look, I’m going to be completely honest with everyone. I might—I might be high right now.”

“Jesus.” Sasha held her hand to her mouth again.

“It does—it does look like me, right?”

No one answered him.

“But the eyes are wrong.” He stooped down to look into the face that Jonah Magnus had stolen for himself. “Those—those aren’t my eyes. You all see that, right? Those aren’t my eyes.”

Martin thought he had felt every kind of uncomfortable feeling there was, but this was proving him incorrect. He felt sick.

“Elias,” Tim finally spoke out. “Maybe you should—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence, though, because the man who had first come to tell them about the body had arrived with several uniformed officers in tow.

“Don’t say anything unless you have to,” Jon said quietly, having made his way over to Martin. “Let—let me talk.”

Martin didn’t know what that meant exactly, but he thought he didn’t like it.

“All right everyone, out of the way. Let us through.” With a small tug at his sleeve from Jon, he stepped back toward the wall as Daisy and Basira made their way through the small group of officers. They all watched as Daisy knelt down next to the body, inspected it for a moment, and then frowned. Martin didn’t know anything about murder scenes, but he knew there had to be a lot wrong with this one.

“Is this where he was found? Has anyone moved him?”

No one responded, and Basira spoke up. “All right, people. She asked if anyone’s moved him.”

The man from maintenance who had brought the police down shook his head.

Daisy surveyed the group, and her eyes quickly focused on Elias. She looked back down at the body and up at him.

“Do you know him? Is he a—brother?”

Elias shook his head. “I don’t have a brother.” He started to move toward the body again, but Basira stepped forward to block his path.

“All right, everyone—let’s go.” Daisy nodded her head at an officer behind Martin, who stepped forward and began to take pictures. “Back upstairs. Come on.”

Tim fell in step with Martin and Jon.

“I don’t understand.” Martin could hear Elias talking to Sasha behind them. “Is it real? Is it a real—”

Martin glanced over at Jon, who was deep in thought again. How is this possible? He supposed the body could have come here when they did. Given that it was in the tunnels, it wasn’t surprising that no one had found it before now. What was surprising was that it seemed to be in exactly the same condition it had been when he had last seen it months ago; if he didn’t know better, it could have just happened.

Had the Eye done this? And if so—why?

When they got back out to the front office, they found Melanie there arguing with yet another officer. Rosie was standing silently a few feet behind her.

“—I’m just asking for you to tell me something. Look, are my coworkers here? I’m—” She visibly relaxed as she saw the group come into the front desk area. “Oh, thank god. Are you—”

She stopped when she saw the looks on their faces.

“Go home, Melanie,” Sasha said. “I’ll be in touch later.”

“Oh—ok.” She frowned. “Are all of you all right?”

Sasha shrugged. “Go on. You too, Rosie.”

The two women looked at each other, and did as Sasha asked.

“All right,” Daisy asked. “Who’s in charge here?”

Sasha looked at Elias, who still seemed to be in more shock than the rest of them, and sighed. “I guess—I guess we are.”

Daisy peeked into the assistant’s office. “Is that another office back there?” When Sasha confirmed, she waved another officer out, who brought Sasha and Elias back to Sasha’s office. Martin heard the door close behind them.

“You. Your work crew found the body?”

The man from maintenance nodded yes.

“All right. Get their story,” she said to the other two officers who remained. “And you three”—she indicated Martin, Tim, and Jon— “come in here with us.”

They entered the assistants’ office; the three of them sat at the conference table Sasha had been using for a desk, and Daisy and Basira stood, jotting down occasional notes. They started with some basic questions, asking about their role at the Institute and what they had been doing that morning. As they spoke, Daisy’s eyes kept settling on Jon in a way that made Martin very nervous.

Eventually she addressed Jon directly. “We came out here before, a few months ago. You weren’t here.”

Jon nodded.

She turned to Martin. “You weren’t here either.”

“No, he wasn’t.” She looked at Jon again, raising an eyebrow, before turning to Tim.

“Were these the two you had called about? That were missing?”

Tim looked at her with a disgruntled expression. “Yes. Thanks for all your help with that, by the way.”

“Were you two off together?” Daisy asked, having turned back to Jon.

“Yes.”

“Look, it—it ended up being nothing.” Tim said. “You were right.”

“I’m not asking you.” Daisy didn’t look away from Jon. “Where were you?”

Jon started to answer her, but she cut him off.

“Wait. Both of you. On three.”

What the hell. Martin really didn’t like this now; it was clear that Daisy had somehow already zeroed in on Jon.

“One—”

Shit. He grabbed on to the first thought that popped into his brain, and thought it very, very hard.

“Two—”

He hoped Jon would understand this was an appropriate time to break the rules.

“Three.”

“Visiting his grandmother,” Martin said, at the same time Jon said, “My grandmother was ill.”

“Hm.” Daisy seemed almost disappointed; obviously she didn’t know that Jon’s grandmother had passed. Martin noticed that Tim didn’t so much as blink at their story.

“It was—something of an emergency,” Jon said.

“So you two are—a couple?” Basira asked.

“Yes,” Jon answered.

“Did you know that when you reported them missing?” Daisy asked Tim, without taking her eyes off Jon.

He shrugged. “Can’t blame them for not wanting to feed the office gossip mill. Look, it really was just bad communication.”

“I see,” said Daisy. “So—tell me about this.” She drew her hand across her neck, indicating that she was asking about the scar her counterpart had left behind. “Looks like someone didn’t like you.”

Jon’s chest rose just a little faster than it had to that point; it may have been imperceptible to anyone else, but Martin saw it.

“He was attacked,” Martin said, defensive. “It wasn’t his fault.”

“Martin.” Jon spoke his name sharply.

“When did that happen?” Daisy asked, ignoring the exchange.

“Not recently,” Jon answered.

“And what about the other scars?” Basira asked, waving her hand vaguely over her face. “The—the small ones?”

“Bug bites.”

“Bug bites,” Daisy repeated.

“Yes,” Jon said acidly. “Bad ones.”

“Well,” Daisy said, closing her notebook. “I have just a few more questions, and I think perhaps—just to help things go a little more smoothly—you should come down to the station with us.” It was clear she was referring specifically to Jon.

“Really?” Basira asked. Her concern wasn’t lost on Martin.

“Wait,” Martin interrupted again. “Why? He hasn’t done anything.”

“I’m not saying he has,” Daisy answered, unbothered. “I just want to talk to him, and I find we get better cooperation there.”

“You can’t do that!” Martin was indignant. “You have no reason!”

“Martin—”

“I do have a reason.” Daisy cut off Jon’s warning outburst as she turned toward Martin. “He is a witness to a crime scene, and I have more questions. Although now I wonder if maybe you should be the one to come with us.”

Martin froze. The look in her eye wasn’t right. It hinted at what he’d seen in her when they’d finally found her in the apocalypse, right before she’d turned on Jon. He was just trying to decide what to say when she turned away from all of them, suddenly appearing uncomfortable.

“Hm.” She shook her head.

“Are you all right?” Basira asked.

“I—I’m fine.” Her actions didn’t match her words, though. She shook her head again, and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

“You don’t look good.” Basira put a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe—maybe call this quits for today?”

“I don’t—I don’t—ugh.” Daisy held her hand up to her forehead as she sat on Tim’s desk, which she had been standing in front of.

Martin remembered himself and looked over at Jon again; Jon had a fierce look of concentration on his face, and Martin understood.

He wouldn’t, he thought.

But he is.

“All right, come on.” Martin thought Basira looked almost equal parts relieved and worried as she took Daisy by the arm. She turned to the three of them as she began to get her up from the desk. “We have your contact information—we’ll be in touch.”

Martin waited until he heard Basira explaining the situation to the officers at the front desk on their way out to face Jon.

“What did you do?” he hissed.

“What I had to,” Jon answered through gritted teeth.

“What did you do?” Martin asked again.

“I—I showed her what Calvin Benchly experienced in his last moments. After she tracked him down.”

“Have you—have you done that before? Did you know that you could?”

“No. I guess I got lucky.”

“Lucky?” Martin was rapidly forgetting to keep his voice down. “Do you—do you know what that feels like? To have someone—”

“I do, actually,” Jon said coldly. “In fact, I know what every awful thing that can happen in the world feels like.”

Martin hesitated; he hadn’t considered that. “Then—then that’s worse, that you would do it anyway.”

Jon stood up. “Did you want to go with her?”

He started to say no, of course not, but he didn’t get it out; Jon lost his balance and began to crumple to the ground. Martin reached out and caught him, forgetting his other emotions as he pulled Jon into him for support.

“I’ve got you,” he said, not sure if Jon was even conscious to hear him. “I’ve got you.”

He lifted Jon up just long enough to get him to the sofa, where he tried to lay him down as comfortably as possible. He knelt at Jon’s side, and ran his hand over his damp hair.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s all right.” Jon struggled to open his eyes. “I don’t know if—but I wasn’t going to let you—”

“Shh,” Martin picked up his hand and stroked it gently. “Rest for a bit.”

Jon closed his eyes, and soon appeared to be sleeping.

“Well.”

Martin turned his head to find Tim facing him, now sitting on the conference table.

“Tim.” He hadn’t exactly forgotten he was there, but at some point he had stopped caring.

“You need to tell me what’s going on.”

Martin looked back down at Jon.

“Martin—you looked—you looked scared of him, just now. Before he fainted.”

“I am not scared of him.” Martin dropped Jon’s hand and turned on the floor to face Tim. “I have never been scared of him. I’m—I’m scared for him.”

“Really.”

“Yes, really.”

“You know what that was about down there, don’t you?” Tim spoke quietly enough that the officers who remained in the nearby rooms wouldn’t hear. “In the tunnels. That body was real, wasn’t it? But you—you knew it wasn’t Elias. You weren’t even surprised when we showed up.”

Martin thought back—no, of course they hadn’t been surprised.

“I’ve given you a lot of time, Martin. Look—Sasha and I—we know you and Jon never went to the hospital. Well, not right after you showed up again, anyway. You did the next time, but—in Oxford. Why were you in Oxford that day? You certainly weren’t in therapy like you said.”

Martin stared at Tim, shocked. He and Sasha had known even more than Martin had realized—and they’d known it since the beginning.

“And then—all the other stuff—how did you know that guy we met? Oliver Banks? You knew exactly what he was going to say. And then—you, and Jon—sneaking around the Leitner Room—”

“Wait, how do you know that?”

“We have security cameras, Martin.”

Of course they did. Martin knew they did. He could have smacked himself.

He tried to sound reproachful. “OK, but—why were you watching us on them?”

“Because you were sneaking around.” Tim shook his head. “Look, this—today—it’s gone too far. Whatever you know—whatever you can tell us—please. It’s time.”

Martin looked over his shoulder at Jon one more time, resting peacefully.

He wondered if he would lose him after all, after everything they had been through—after everything Jon had been through. He didn’t want to.

They needed help.

“Ok,” he said simply.

“And I realize—I really do—that whatever you’ve been through must have been—”

“I said ok.”

“Oh,” Tim said. “You did. Sorry.”

“Can you—can you help me get Jon home? I don’t want him to—to be here anymore.” He swallowed. “Then I’ll tell you everything.”

#the magnus archives #tma #mag pod #tma spoilers #jonmartin #tma fanfic #my writing

[aromagni]

Change Through the Aro Renaissance (Carnival of Aros, September 2020)

I have both witnessed and participated in many changes of the aro community.  I remember being a baby aroace in 2015 and mostly lurking as I followed many aro and ace blogs.  Back then, it seemed the aro community was mostly the aroace community, more linked to ace, not yet having developed its own identity.  I remember trying to find more ways to engage in the aro community and stumbling upon aroplane, which was an aro forum before arocalypse, but I think it was inactive and I’d looked for forums during the absence between the two.  After lurking and solidifying my confidence in my identity, I’d kinda drifted away from actively participating in the community at all for a little while, so I’m not particularly aware what happened in between; I’m vaguely aware the arocalypse forums were created in 2016, but it seems in my absence from the community in 2016-2017, much of what had been there had become lost, presumably decimated by the tolls of exclusionary discourse.

In 2018, I was in college where I could be more outwardly queer, and I started seeking out community more.  On one hand, engaging with college queer organization made me want to bring more visibility to ace and aro things, especially aro….during this time, I met many alloro aces who I couldn’t relate to, which started pushing me towards centering my aro identity more.  I remember wanting aro-spec awareness week recognized at my college and in trying to do so, realized the arospecawarenessweek tumblr had become inactive, for they had not updated the date that year.  I started following more aro tumblr blogs and joined the forums and then joined an aro discord server that spring, and that was when I started to truly engage in the aro community.

It was exhilarating interacting with other aros, both on discord and then how we carried that over to tumblr.  I fondly remember the coining of arogender and subsequently developing the flag for it.  We all followed and reblogged from eachother and it made it energizing to engage in the community because we could feel confident that the effort we put forth to create things would not be wasted, because our content was shared amongst ourselves in our tiny community.  Many of us blogging starting then had not really participated in the aro community before; many of us were my age, late high school to early college student aged, treading into actively participating in community for the first time, and thus our knowledge of our history and our terminology was distorted by time and viewed by the remaining crumb trails on the internet.

This was the time when our community was reborn, reborn from the ashes of the discourse and created into something new, a more independent aro community brighter than we’d ever been before: This was the aro renaissance.  In fact, “aro renaissance” is part of the blog title we used when we made aromantic-official in May 2018.  I’d had the idea because I noticed most of the older modded aro blogs of old had become dormant, and it would be good to have some sort of group ensuring the continuation of events like Aro-spec awareness week and maintaining resources like a glossary.  At the time, we were thinking small in the context of a tumblr blog, but it was a start.

I remember around December 2018, many flags were made.  There was the blue-orange aroace flag and shortly after I made an aroace flag of my own, and then an a-spec flag, and then there were other a-spec flags too I think; we were wanting to differentiate between a-spec, an umbrella term encompassing both aro-spec and ace-spec, from aroace, a specific identity indicating being both aro and ace at the same time...though there’s still some confusion between the two in terms of flag usage still.  Shortly after, there was also an aro allo flag made, and the allosexual aro community grew as a more distinct established component of the aro community; no longer was the aro community solely an aroace community, we had become an independent aro community.

In late January 2019 I’d went to the Creating Change conference, where there was the first ever aro & ace hospitality suite and I interacted with other a-spec activists, including people from the fairly newly named TAAAP (The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project).  It was refreshing seeing the advancement of aro activism as more than just a subset of ace, and interesting to see the development of activism out in more the “real” world rather than just on my corner of the internet.  I remember then hearing how they were planning to host the first carnival of aros (inspired by the longer-running carnival of aces), and since then it has been nice having carnival of aros to foster discussion of many aro topics.

I remember that first carnival of aros coinciding with a lot of clashing between the aro and ace communities, sparked even more by the specific topic of the month relating aro and ace communities.  I think we, the aro community, were frustrated at being ignored.  The ace community had continued to grow and gain recognition and visibility, while claiming to represent us as well but in a way that was more a misrepresentation, depicting aro as a subset of ace, thus further erasing the reality of our experiences.  We were frustrated and bitter, often justifiably so; even I as an aroace was frustrated with the ace communities treatment of aros at that point, and I know many aro allos were even more upset.  I think we were also still less sure footed, with our community still establishing-itself, so as a result were more defensive and scrambling for anything we could claim as our own, often misguided by the often incomplete or misinformed scraps of posts around different words and such.  (In hindsight I think there were some inaccuracies in my first carnival of aros post that february, but it was an accurate look at what we were frustrated and upset about at the time).

I remember also that February more was done to celebrate ASAW than had been in years previous, though it was still small.  I also remember some divisiveness between the aroace and aro allo sides of the aro community, which caused an unfortunate binary which subsequently emphasized the need for terminology of aros who were neither asexual nor allosexual, thus many discussions about “non-SAM” aros, and other words for that concept.  I think that continued well into that summer.

Speaking of that summer, in June 2019 AUREA was launched!  This one wasn’t started by me, but naturally I ended up pulled into doing more aro activism stuff.  AUREA (Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy) has wonderful resources including a comprehensive glossary with links (both original and archived) to sources and some flags, and also has various research and lists of other aro-inclusive orgs, including local ones.  We also publish multiple articles a month, including a “What’s Going On” article at the start of each month covering what’s going on in the aro community, and then other articles about various topics.  AUREA is everything I’d wanted when originally making the aromantic-official blog, but is so much more than I thought to hope for.  We collaborated with other activists and made ASAW 2020 even bigger than before, and we also launched an aro census, and just so many different cool projects.  It’s so cool having a good comprehensive centralized aro resource like AUREA and just having a specifically aro activism organization focusing on aro issues specifically, not just having aro included under aro & ace groups.  I’m really proud of what we’ve been able to do and what we continue to do.

I feel like in the last year since AUREA has been formed, the aro community feels a lot more solidified and stable, like we’ve finally concretely established ourselves as an independent entity to be recognized.  And even though we’re more solidified, we’re still growing and creating and innovating, there’s still this wonderful energy and motivation which we continue to grow with.  Some other things have happened this year, in April 2020 we had to kinda scramble to keep the arocalypse forums going, and now I’m a mod there too because I don’t seem to know how to not be involved in things, especially because I vehemently care about seeing them continued.  (Why is it always spring? 3 springs in a row I’ve gotten involved in big ongoing aro projects like that).  Then June 2020, TAAAP pride chats started and have continued every month, which is a really cool opportunity for people from the a-spec community, both ace and aro, to gather to discuss various topics, and also to interact with various a-spec activists.  

It’s been really fascinating watching and helping to aro community grow over the past few years, and I feel like I’ve grown with it.  Through my activism, I’ve learned a lot about what I am good at and how I can work well in a team, which has helped me gain a lot of confidence about things where in-person experiences had made me lose confidence.  It’s also kinda wild when I think about the scale of it all; the aro, and also ace, communities are really fairly small, such that it’s not hard to end up doing this activism on a national or international scale.  I never really set out to be an activist, I just wanted to get involved and cared about improving things and have lots of ideas, so I kept doing things, and now I look at what I’ve done and realize that huh this is activism, I am an activist, and probably a rather prominent aro activist at that.  It’s weird especially compared to how extremely ineffective I feel I’ve been at doing any sort of activism at my college, to then think of what I’ve managed to help accomplish on an international scale online.  I feel inspired by the changes, the growth of the aro community, and I look forward to helping it grow even more.

#carnival of aros #aromantic #actually aromantic #aurea #aro community #aro activism #my post #magni’s thoughts #long post #not particularly organized/is kinda word vomit but many thoughts and is done so

[e-of-west-glendia]

Happy birthday to the wonderful @sirrriusblack!! You’re one of the most amazing people I know and I’m so, so glad that I decided to message you wayyy back in December.

I love you to death and again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎉

All I Want For Christmas Is You

(Yes I know it’s May. So shhhhhhhhh. Blame Mariah Carey and her song for shuffling on my playlist and putting me in a Christmas mood) (also tumblr is mean so I have to post this in three parts) Part 2 & Part 3

James (8:59 am): Are you here yet??

Sirius (9:05 am): Yep just landed

James (9:05 am): Cool cool

James (9:10 am): You outside yet?

Sirius (9:13 am): Jesus shit no. I literally said I landed like 5 minutes ago

James (9:14 am): 8 minutes* and so?

Sirius (9:16 am): Soooooo I have to get through security and shit. Do you know how airports work Prongs?

James (9:19 am): Of course I do. You just yell at terminal until you get to your destination quicker

Sirius (9:22 am): Lolll ok sure. I’ll try screaming at it

James (9:22 am) sounds like a plan padfoot

Sirius (9:30 am): Ok I’m out where are you?

Sirius (9:34 am): James?

Sirius (9:35 am): Jaaaammeeeessssss

Sirius (9:37 am): Prongssss where are youuu. It’s cooollldddd

James (9:38 am): sorry sorry I had to find the gate

Sirius (9:39 am): you mean to tell me you badgered me about getting off the plane and you didn’t even know where to pick me up???

James (9:39 am): ….maybe….

Sirius (9:40 am): dumbass

James (9:41 am): stfu and get in the car

Sirius (9:41 am): (:

~~~~~~~~~

Sirius looked up from his phone, grinning as a loud horn sounded from the curb. James was leaning out the window and sending him an equally large grin.

James pressed on the horn again, causing several people to look up in alarm and annoyance.

Sirius made his way to the back of the car, tapping on the back of it for James to pop the trunk. A moment later there was a faint click and the trunk had sprung open. Sirius quickly shoved his bags in and then closed the trunk probably a lot harder than he should’ve.

He winced at the sound it made as it came down.

“Trying to kill my car, are you?” James shouted from the front.

“Not on purpose,” Sirius called back, walking around to the passenger side.

James reached over and unlocked the door, throwing it open and waving his arm as if to say well what are you waiting for?

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”

Sirius laughed at the quote before clambering into the car.

“Good to see you, too, James. Where we headed.”

James clicked on the radio, Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now blaring to life on the audio.

James’ resulting grin would’ve been enough to make most people worried.

“Macy’s,” he said, and then he sped off towards the exit.

~~~~~~

Remus would’ve winced at Lily’s crushing hug if he hadn’t been hugging her with the same amount of force.

“You’re back!!” She shrieked.

“Yeah, yeah I am,” Remus said laughing.

It had been months since he’d been back in San Francisco and he was definitely glad to be home. He’d been away for nearly a year for a work trip — as great as it was, there was something really special about coming home, and seeing his friends again was making him almost giddy with excitement.

“When did you get in?” Lily asked, her words slurred a bit from excitement so it sounded more like one large word.

Remus shrugged,”A couple hours ago— hey! Jesus, what was that for?!”

Remus jerked away from redhead, glaring at the spot where she’d punched him in the arm.

“You should’ve told me when you landed! I could’ve come to pick you up!!”

Remus rubbed his shoulder. “I didn’t want to bother you with it, I can get back to my own house perfectly fine.”

“I know you can,” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “But James went to pick up Sirius hours ago and he could’ve got you too!”

“Oh,” Remus said. “Right.”

Lily frowned at his less than enthusiastic response. “All good there Remus?”

Remus blinked at her for a second, brain having trouble keeping up with what was going on.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, yeah I’m good.”

“Riiiight”

“I swear,” Remus said, raising his palms in the air. “I’m absolutely, one hundred percent, fine.”

Lily’s eyebrows looked like they were trying to leave her face but she nodded. “Yeah, yeah alright. Let’s go.”

“Go?” Remus asked. “Go where?”

Lily’s eyebrows dropped as she rolled her eyes. Sometimes she wondered how such smart people could be the biggest idiots.

“To the Potters. Christmas party, remember?”

“How could I forget.”

The Potter’s were absolutely legendary for their parties. Large events thrown in their Noe Valley house filled to the brim with friends, family, and other people who just happened to be invited. While it was true that Euphemia and Fleamont Potter we’re getting up there in age, they still knew how to throw a party. It also might’ve helped that their son and his friends were renowned for their own parties at boarding school and penchant for getting into trouble.

“Mm of course not,” Lily said. “But did you remember you were supposed to help me set up?”

“Err…” Remus trialed off. Well, no, he hadn’t remembered.

“Uh huh just what I thought. C’mon Remus, wouldn’t want to be responsible for a less than awesome Potter Christmas party, would we?”

~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t that Remus hadn’t known that James was picking up Sirius. No, he’d known all right— it was on the group chat after all. He’d known and he had deliberately planned his flight schedule around it.

Things hadn’t exactly been normal last time Remus had seen Sirius. And he’d decided that he’d much rather take an Uber home than hitch a ride with Padfoot and James. “I-Can-Sense-A-Conflict-Between-My-Friends-In-Under-A-Minute” Potter.

The thing with Sirius was that he’d gotten so good at covering up emotions it was hard to tell which ones were real. Such was the case last year.

Remus had been in love with his best friend for longer than he could remember. It had started small, noticing things, like his laugh. Then it slowly got worse and Remus started noticing finer details. Like the way his hair shimmered when it caught the light, or how the corners of his eyes would crease when he laughed. Or how—

“Remus. Earth to Remus Lupin, are you still with me?”

Remus looked up from the car window. He’d been doodling small stars on the parts that had turned foggy from the contrast of the warm car on the cold exterior.

“Yes?”

“We’re here.”

Remus started around their surroundings. “Oh”

“Mhm,” Lily said, pulling her key out of ignition. “What were you even doing?”

Remus looked back to the window, blushing slightly at the doodles. “Erm...stars?”

A grin split across Lily’s face. “Stars, huh?”

“What?” Remus complained, he absolutely did not need her to tease him about this. Or tell the other Marauders, it’s definitely be best if she didn’t tell the other’s.

Lily was practically glowing now. Brimming with some hidden information.

“Oh, nothing. C’mon let’s head in.” Without another word she pushed open the car door, sending a gust of cold air into the car and making Remus shiver.

Remus sat in his seat for an extra thirty seconds or so, trying to come up with what on earth Lily was talking about. Finally, muttering something about girls being confusing, Remus stepped out of the car and trudged towards the Potter house.

~~~~~~~~~

San Francisco was known for many things, but being warm was not one of them. Especially not during the month of December.

Sirius shivered slightly, cursing himself for not wearing a warmer coat. He knew how cold this god forsaken city got. So why on earth had he not packed for the weather. Oh, right, because he was in Australia where the seasons were flipped upside down. Well at least it was warm there.

It might’ve been better if it was the type of cold for snow, but alas it wasn’t. San Francisco was the type of cold with frigid winds that chilled you to the bone and a freezing atmosphere that made your teeth chatter.

Sirius wasn’t generally a warm person. In fact he’d once made Lily drop a cup of coffee when he’d startled her by touching her with a severely cold hand. So he’d made his peace with being a cold blooded lizard. But even he had his limits on cold.

Now James on the other hand looked ecstatic. Bouncing up Powell street towards Macy’s with poorly contained excitement.

“How the fuck are you so happy right now?” Sirius grumbled at his friend.

“Because it’s Christmas and you’re back.”

“I’m all for the Christmas spirit but it’s freezing outside.”

“Don’t you always say you’re cold-blooded?”

“Oh, ha ha. Cold-blooded creatures want to be warm you dumbass.”

James chuckled at his irritation. “We’ll be inside soon enough.”

Soon enough couldn’t have come faster. Sirius could’ve hugged whatever person was in charge of the heater in Macy’s. Stepping through the doors to the department store had felt like being wrapped in a warm blanket.

“Finally,” Sirius groaned when they’d gotten in. “A normal temperature.”

James had only laughed before tugging him further into the store in search of gifts.

~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, out with it Lupin. What’s going on between you and Black?”

Remus had almost taken Lily to her word. He’d been drinking tea when Lily asked her question, catching him off guard and causing him to choke.

“Pardon,” he spluttered.

Lily’s hands were on her hips, red hair falling around her face in waves. “Don’t you ‘Pardon’ me, Remus Lupin. I’m not an idiot. There’s been something off about you and Sirius since last fall.”

Remus had recovered slightly and took another swallow of his drink before saying: “Lily, I don’t know what you—“

“Oh my god,” Lily said suddenly, cutting him off. “You two finally worked it out!”

“Worked what out?”

Lily pushed herself up onto the counter, leaning in close to Remus.

“You two finally figured out that you’re head over heels for each other.”

Remus nearly fell off his seat in shock. Shit, he’d been discovered.

Lily snorted, not missing the flash of panic cross his face.

“Relax, I’ve known for a while. Hell, we all have.”

“You all know I like Sirius?” Remus asked, recovering his wits slightly.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Yes, duh. You two weren’t exactly discreet about it.”

“Two?”

“Yes, Remus. You and Sirius? Y’know Sirius Black? Rich, playboy supreme who you’ve had a crush on since you were like 14?”

“I know who he is,” Remus snapped, and then winced at the cool it buddy look that Lily was giving him. “What I meant was, you think Sirius likes me of all people.”

“Mhm”

“How? Why? Where?”

Lily sighed. “God Remus, you are so blind.”

#wolfstar fanfic #HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUMAN #wolfstar fluff #san fransico #James Potter #Lily Evans #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #gay idiots #this is gonna be three parts #California #yo it is so cold in SF in the winter

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Eidolon 4 | (T)

ff.net | AO3

Fandom: Danny Phantom (DP)

Summary:  AU: What started off as the result of a simple act of rebellion ends up causing his life to spin out of control. How will young Danny cope with the results as well as a past that has a strange habit of coming back to haunt him.

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, kidnapping, and various other things

Parings: hints of Danny/Sam much later on

Notes: originally uploaded to Ff.net. Cross-posted to AO3 and tumblr

4. Paper Trails

Is it possible to truly call the mess someone creates in a desperate search for an object a natural disaster? If so, his study had come as close to the definition as humanly possible; books had been torn off their shelves, drawers had been removed and dumped on the floor, decorative items had been thrown haphazardly around the room and he was seriously debating on whether or not he should attempt to lift the furniture. He had, after all, already knocked over one of the end tables.

He just didn't understand it. The one time he needed that letter, it was absolutely nowhere to be found! But, that was what made it so strange… Unless he needed it, he kept it within a metal box that sat in the bottom drawer of his desk, right now, even the box was missing! How was he going to prove he had a valid claim to the issue at hand without it?

A noise took his thoughts away from his search. He glanced up to see Danny standing in the doorway, giving him a worried glance. "Uh… Winston, are you alright?" he asked cautiously as he carefully came in the room a few steps. "And you say my room's a mess…"

A sheepish grin crossed his face as he picked up his chair. "I'm fine… I'm just trying to find a paper I need for a meeting later tonight."

"Do… you need any help?"

"No, not really… I should be fine on my own." He then glanced at his young charge, who seemed to relax at the statement. He was confused for a moment until he realized the boy kept glancing at the clock that somehow still managed to be in its place on the wall. "That's right; you're going out today…"

Danny nodded as a relieved expression appeared on his face. "Yeah, I'm supposed to meet Sam and Tucker soon."

"Be careful, alright?"

"I know, I know…"

He sighed as he carefully stepped over his mess so he could put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I can't help that I'm worried, especially after what happened on Sunday…"

At that statement, the boy violently knocked away his guardian's hand. "Nothing happened!" he nearly shouted. "How many times do I have to say that to you?"

Danny glared at him as he tried to figure out how to defuse the situation. Even though Danny denied anything happened, the actual problem was obviously something had. Winston knew Danny had experienced real fear on Sunday and whatever it was, it had to have been traumatic, or else his constant denials wouldn't make much sense. It worried him. What could possibly have scared the boy so much in his own home?

Something else bothering him was the fact Danny had gotten violently ill shortly after dinner that night. Although, it could have just been a delayed response (to the fear but), it really had seemed… well, almost random. The boy was shaking severely once he had gotten control of his stomach, and he seemed unusually cold to the touch. Now that he actually thought about it more, the shaking might have been actual shivers from being cold. That definitely wasn't normal, and if it wasn't for the fact that he had felt better the next morning, Winston would have taken him to the doctor's, which was something he tried to avoid.

"Danny…" he said slowly. Within how tense the boy was, he knew he had to be careful with his words. It would not help either of them if he unintentionally pushed him away. "All I'm asking is that you take it easy today. You might be fine, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm worried about you."

"Whatever," he huffed as he turned back towards the door. Although it wasn't the best response, it told him that, thankfully, there was no added stress to the shaky situation. "I have to get going."

Winston smiled as he turned back to the warzone that was formally his desk. "One thing before you go," he added as an afterthought. "I might not be home when you come back tonight. If you're not feeling well, don't hesitate to come back here. And, as long as you leave this room alone, you can bring your friends in if you like."

That caught the boy's attention. "Really?"

"Really. Have fun. I have to get back to this… uh, search…" A frown crossed his features as he glanced down at the mess. Again, how could a heavy metal box go missing?

He barely heard Danny's reply as he tried to figure out where he should search next. Time was running out, and there was still no sign of it. But, trying to search on sheer panic without a plan was not doing him any good. Although he did not want to, he decided to give himself a few moments to reorganize his thoughts.

The obvious place to restart was the desk, where it should have been in the first place. There had to be some sort of clue to what happened to it in there. Yet, as he looked, he happened to notice a folded piece of paper around the same area where the box had been. It was odd because he rarely, if ever, folded any of his paperwork, especially anything placed in that desk. What was even stranger was the fact it had his name written on it, almost like it was a letter. Curious, he opened it.

….

Time just seemed to stand still as he just stared at the letter. It… it had to be some type of sick joke! There was no way that that thing could possibly be in town, let alone have found a way into the house. He had kept track of reports from their previous hometown, and no one had seen it for years! There weren't even any reports from neighboring locations. It just disappeared after it had destroyed everything.

But, if it was in town, why was it here? Why was it targeting him? Wait… When it had first attacked all those years ago, it seemed to have a specific target… But, weren't they dead? Could it now be after…? "Oh, no…!" he whispered as he got up and sprinted towards the front door. "Danny!" he shouted as he tried to find some sort of evidence he was still in the house, but there wasn't any.

A glance at the clock told him that it had been some time since he had last spoken to the boy. How did he loose that much time? Even though Danny was probably nowhere nearby, he threw open the front door and tried calling for the boy again anyways. There was no answer, but that did not mean much. Danny was probably fine, but oblivious to the danger that had reemerged. It wasn't his fault either, Winston hadn't wanted to say anything about it until his upcoming birthday, but he was seriously regretting that decision now. That thing… that monster could be stalking its prey at the moment.

Without a second though, he grabbed his keys and hurried to his car. Sure, there was that meeting he needed to attend, but that was going to have to be rescheduled. Danny's safety was far more important to him than trying to prove to a bunch of busybodies he had a right to take care of the boy.

And in truth, he wasn't too sure what he was going to when he finally managed to find Danny. Was he going to tell the boy what was wrong? Or, was, again, going to leave crucial information out? He would decide that later. Right now, his major concern was to just to make sure he was still okay.

xxxxxxx

"Uh… Dude, are you sure you're okay?" Tucker asked as he watched him finish his second pop in less than five minutes.

He gave his friend a sheepish grin as he debated on whether or not he was going to need another refill. "Yeah… as soon… as I can completely… catch my breath." Although he knew it was probably among the stupidest things he could have done, he ran all the way from his home to the Nasty Burger, which Tucker had promised tasted a lot better than it sounded. His little chat with Winston had taken surprisingly longer than he thought it would, which didn't help the fact he was already running late.

A chuckle from Sam caught his attention. "This wouldn't happen if you were in better shape…" Even if she was poking fun at him in a friendly way, the comment still got under his nerves a little. Sure, he wasn't the most muscular of people, but he certainly wasn't fat. So, instead of trying to say anything back to her, he decided to take the moment to get another refill.

"So, ignoring my problems," Danny told them a few minutes later as he sat back down. "Did you guys actually find out anything?"

"Surprisingly, I did… and I'm not too sure that it's a good thing. Here, take a look."

Ignoring the fact it seemed that Tucker's pockets held their own separate dimension since there was no way they were big enough to completely hold his PDA and his other gadgets, he glanced at the article currently on the machine's screen. Though it wasn't a very large article, the content seemed to be rather troubling. "Wh-what is this?" His voice was quiet as he looked at both of his friends for some sort of answer.

"Right now, I'm not too sure," Tucker replied as he took back his PDA. "There's really not much information on it, but from what I can tell, that picture is very similar to a series of sketches drawn a few hundred years ago. But the thing is, they were all drawn for (or by) this cult that seemed to worship demons."

He could feel his eyes widen in disbelief. "You… You're not serious, are you?"

"Unfortunately, that's not the worst of it," Sam continued as Tucker nodded solemnly. "It's a little obscure, but apparently that group was trying to create a specific demon-the one depicted on the drawing we found. There were really no details on how they planned on doing that, thank goodness, but there was some reference that it deals with some sort of curse…."

Now, that made him laugh, which caused his friends to stare at him. "A curse?" he asked as he calmed down a bit. "Don't you think that's a little much? You actually had me going for a bit."

"Danny, this isn't a laughing matter!" Sam nearly yelled as Tucker tried to keep her from standing up. "Whether or not this story is true is not the actual problem. The problem is we found something tied to a potentially dangerous occult belief right after you were chased by… whatever that thing was! Don't you see some sort of connection here?"

He snorted. "Sam, do you really think that whoever that guy was belongs to this cult and wanted to sacrifice me or something? Hasn't that sort of thing been proven to be nothing but an urban legend? Besides, finding that paper was probably nothing but a coincidence."

"Actually, I'm not too sure it is." Tucker's voice brought both he and Sam away from the staring match that had begun after he had finished speaking. "I mean, the information on that picture was hard to find, so I don't really think too many people would know about it."

"But, couldn't someone have just drawn that picture without really knowing about that story? Plenty of people are interested in the occult and other spooky stuff, so there's no telling what one of them might have come up with."

"I'd actually side with you, if it wasn't for the type of paper that it's on."

"What do you mean?"

Sam sighed rather impatiently. "Don't you remember what I said when we found it? Like it felt more like canvas? Well, I actually took it down to one of the art supply stores I occasionally go to hoping that they might have some idea what it was, but they didn't know! They told me that it didn't look like anything they had seen before… well, until the one said that it somewhat reminded him of animal leather, which really freaked me out. How could someone do that to an animal?"

From there, she quickly began to rant about animal cruelty until Tucker interrupted her by calling her name. After a moment, she realized what she was doing and adopted a sheepish expression. "Anyway," she continued, "the point here is that it's highly unlikely many people would be able to get their hands on that type of material, and since it did seem really old, maybe we do have something here."

Danny crossed his arms as he considered her words. "So, if there is a connection here, what do you suppose we do?" It wasn't really like he was completely convinced about this whole 'occult' story, but he was certain that there was some sort of deranged freak stalking his favorite haunt. That by itself was a cause for alarm.

"We could go to the police…"

"Please, Sam, If we go up to an officer and say 'Hey, when we were in the cemetery at night, we were chased by this creepy thing that we think belongs to a demon-worshiping cult', he'll probably either laugh at us or check us for drug possession."

"It was just a suggestion, and I don't see you coming up with anything better!"

"Calm down! Do you want to draw attention to us?" Tucker warned them as he carefully glanced around the building. That act caused him to look around too, and indeed, there were a few people that had decided to look their way.

It really was the first time he had paid attention to the other people in the restaurant. Surprisingly, there were a lot of other teenagers there, and he guessed that the majority of them went to the same school as Sam and Tucker. For a moment, he felt a bit of jealousy towards them. For practically his entire life, he had been kept away from the world, and now that he could finally touch its fringes, he felt himself wanting more of it. In truth, he just didn't understand why his friends talked so badly about it.

Though he could probably ponder about it more, he pulled himself back into the argument that had now started between Sam and Tucker that did not seem to do anything with the unknown madman who was starting to make president in their lives.

xxxxxxxx

It was starting to grow dark, and Winston still had absolutely no idea where Danny could be. It was probably his fault, since until this particular moment; he hadn't seen the point of giving the boy anything like a cell phone. And, it didn't really help that part of his attention was drawn away by a rather annoying social worker that could not seem to understand he was trying to reschedule his appointment.

"For the last time, I will gladly reschedule for next week," he told the woman as civilly as he could. He knew that driving while speaking on his cell was not a smart move on his part, but he could honestly care less. Trying to find Danny was way more important than obeying any laws. "But, Ma'am, I was just alerted to a family emergency. Right now, that is more important to me than this meeting. Tomorrow, or even later tonight, if you want, I'll call you to fill you in on the situation, but right now, I need to go. Have a good night."

The tone in his voice seemed to finally get through to the woman, and she did agree that he could call later. Happy to finally be off the phone with her, he glanced down for a moment to slide his phone into a cup holder so that he could easily grab it later. When he looked back up, he immediately slammed on his breaks and turned the wheel.

His breathing was heavy as his car came to a stop. Thankful that there were no other vehicles on the street, he glanced over to see what the damage might be. Yet… there was nothing there! Confused, he got out of his car so that he could better survey the location.

It was so strange. He could have sworn that he had seen some sort of figure standing out in the road, but as he looked, there was absolutely no sign of any living thing. Even the buildings that were around him were broken down and empty. Now that he thought about it, how did he even get into this part of town? He didn't remember coming here… and it was unlikely that Danny would be in the area, especially if he was with friends…

A chill suddenly ran down his back, and he knew he was being watched. Now aware he was in an incredibly open position, he moved closer to his car. The most logical thing to do would be to get back into his car, quickly leave the area, and go back to his search, but something told him that whatever was watching him would not let him escape so easily.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" a civilized voice asked in a way that made his blood run cold. He knew that voice; there was no way that he would ever have been able to forget it. Even though he didn't have to look to know it was there, but he did anyway. It would have made him face it eventually, so there was no use in trying to avoid it.

On a first glance, the average person would probably describe the figure floating above him as a vampire, and although there was a similarity, it was a wrong assumption. In fact, the creature was something anyone would never expect to be solid, appear in the daylight (even if it was fading), or even have the ability to hurt someone. It was a ghost.

===================

Notes: 1) Pop = soda. Grew up in southwestern PA, and we tend to say 'pop'. This might come up again, so I just wanted to put that translation out there.

2) When Danny says that sacrificial cults are an urban legend, that's supposedly true. According to US criminal history, while there have been murderous cults, there is no evidence of any sacrificial murders related to cults. Whether that's true or not, is up to debate, but that's the official standpoint in the US. Although, you can argue the “Order of the Solar Temple” did this, but that was in Canada. 

#Eidolon #danny fenton #danny phantom #danny phantom au #dp #dp au #sam manson #tucker foley #vlad plasmius #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction #fantasy #supernatural

[official-ladyblog]

Genuinely wondering. Why do you think using the name lady noir(e) is rude to the Fandom? I know you're kind of over this subject so you don't have to answer

(I haven’t actually answered this question yet so you’re gucci c: )

So, and I forgot to mention it today because I didn’t scroll through for posts to reblog (whoops), but as of today we’ve had the show for 4 whole years! 4 years of Ladybug and Chat Noir saving the day. (Approximately a little less time for the fandom to take hold, but I’ll say about October 2015 with the French premiere was when the fandom really got going.) 

Obviously the romance is a major focus of the show, so tumblr immediately had to get going with the tags. People quickly realized that the love square had different dynamics on each side, and came up with something for each part. Some pieces took time to workshop; during the early fandom I heard “Adrienbug” or “Chatmari,” and I think to this day we’re not completely sure what we prefer with “Adrienette.”

But if there was one ship name we nailed, it was “Ladynoir.” Of the four, this could easily be seen as the “main” ship of the show, as it is first and foremost a superhero show (so they’re always transformed at some point) and even at the beginning we saw their cute banter. I considered it so dominant, in fact, that my original tag for shippy content was just “ladynoir” even when I just meant any aspect of the love square. (A tag I gave up on when, yknow, I realized that the whole show was one big romance)

So in interacting with the fandom all these years, the staff knew well that we called one of the ships “Ladynoir.” Heck, they’ve been known to tease us on Twitter with “you guys will be happy with the Adrienette in this episode :)”, etc. This isn’t a fandom secret or something. 

Now, I don’t know how long ZAG has been planning a kwami swap. It’s been a popular fan idea about as long as the show’s been on, certainly it had also been tossed around the writers room. But I don’t think they could have feasibly designed them before October 2015. 

Even if they had? There would be 4 years before the episode actually hit screens. All the time that it takes to make an episode, from writing room floor to animation to dubbing, takes months. On a smaller time frame, say they designed Lady Noire and Mister Bug when they first started writing season 3, and sent out the doll designs immediately so the merch could get a head start; there were months between then and the script getting sent in for animation. Anybody with even a little fandom exposure could’ve said “yeah what if we tried a different name?” and workshopped it a bit before the lip flap animations were locked in. 

They shouldn’t lock in bad ideas before sending them to animators, and in fact, we know they don’t:��Nora was named “Nancy” in her first sketches, Queen Bee’s leaked design had a purse instead of the top, and don’t forget Zag leaked the season 2 powerups as a big reveal for the season… and it turned out they’d tossed the pearl idea and went with the potions. Things can and should change to make sure only the best ideas go in the episodes. 

But all of that means that, way back when we first found out about the swap names, it was likely early enough that they hadn’t even gotten to animating Reflekdoll. (The fact that we’re not getting this episode until this week, despite having it in production for about a year, means they had plenty of time to change.) 

Now, after typing and researching all of this, I’ve come to a realization: maybe ZAG did it instead as an homage to the ship name. The writers can definitely see our fandom, and the idea that they actually saw something from us and wanted to shout it out is kind of flattering. We can ask Thomas more about this in a couple days after the episode has aired. 

Why I don’t want her to be Lady Noire? Because having a character take the exact name of a ship only serves to screw up tags. Fans group and find fanworks by ship name tags, and having something completely different come in and take the tag only confuses everyone. I mean, cartoon-makers are very familiar with the phenomenon: they have to strive to give characters and shows unique names so they stand out among other properties. It’s one of the reasons we get ‘Cat Noir’ instead of just ‘Black Cat.’ And for some of the creators being so active in the fandom, they know we love our tags and ship names. They should know better than to pick something so now we have confusion between the Ladynoir ship and Marinette with the black cat. 

Anyway. They’ve had a lot of time for the backlash to set in, so maybe for the finalized ep they did go with different names. Heck, maybe this is why the ep took so long to make and kept getting pushed back – like I know there are some new models here, but not that many more than a typical new ep, right? Especially since Reflekta’s power is legit just “reuse Reflekta’s model.” Maybe, just maybe, renaming the hero(es) meant they had to go back and get the animators to change every instance that they mentioned the names (probably a good few times in the ep). Super unlikely but, as always, I can dream.

I just wrote more for this than I’ve often written for school assignments, soooooo I hope that answers the question. lol. and happy birthday ML!

#miraculous ladybug #ladyblog asks #ml spoilers #ml salt #swap #anon #...at the very least I want there to be an 'e' at the end #because just 'Lady Noir' like the toy had would drive me WILD #as it turns out I was NOT over this subject #and needed to write 800 friggin words about it

[livin-in-mementos]

After Some Time (...and a break or two)

Ugh... okay, its here. The big one. Let me preface this by saying I wont be doing a count by count story of what happened, it’s too many hour and headaches that I don’t need to be fair. But I said I’d get to it... and boy howdy has it been swirling in my head since.

The Slazo Situation Revisited

 So small backstory for those who haven’t boarded this crazy train of bullshit and migraines, this story is about a fairly large commentary youtuber by the name of Slazo (Or Micheal) who was caught in a controversy when his ‘Ex-Girlfriend’ exposed him in a Twitlonger for being a manipulative, sexual harasser. DM’s and screenshots of chat logs were shown and it made Slazo look pretty scummy. A few days later Slazo releases his defence video outlining the parts that were true and a lot of points that were fabricated to make him look evil in the eyes of the internet, with added proof and conveniently missing parts of his exes proof that would have exonerated him on the spot in the eyes of the internet courtroom. For opinions sake, yes I do think Slazo is innocent of the more damning accusations that were put against him, no I do not think he was 100% innocent. Of what he was guilty of? maybe being a pretty shitty boyfriend.... though at the age of 15-16... its slap on the back of the head material... not cancellation worthy.

Slazo was pretty much cleared of it all and everybody went on with their day... heck it shouldn’t even be called the Slazo situation, because while his name was brought up a lot, he wasn’t really all that key to what happened next... 

Commentary youtubers from all corners of the internet had an opinion on what Slazo had done and how guilty he was (again, I will not be doing a play by play of every accusation) which boiled down to two camps

1. “Slazo is guilty and here is why... Oh and have a bunch of off-cuff situations I witnessed where Slazo was really creepy that I only just now remember and want to bring up.”

2. “Lotta commentary youtubers being liars, snakes or hypocrites up in here.”

Which in turn brought two youtubers under the microscope themselves, ImAlexx and Hyojin.

Alex first as it’s easier and is the least weird of the two. Alex jumped on the Slazo hate bandwagon pretty quickly and started accusing Slazo of a bunch of things that couldn’t easily be proven, while also completely backing up the story that Chey (the ex) has given in her Twitlonger, despite the fact it had been blown open with so many holes that not even a brain dead goldfish could find logic in it. Alex would later admit he had a part in writing the Twitlonger, as did many other prominent commentary youtubers and friends,outing the Twitlonger as more of a team effort rather than just Chey writing it herself.

After this Alex was accused of a bunch of stuff himself including being a social climber to get more popular since he was a pretty good friend to Slazo before all of this happened, as well as a snake since he supported Chey and the Twitlonger until it was criticised as untrue.... and Alex said the same to cover for himself.

To this day there hasn’t been a clear end point to this, Alex has tried to brush away from it all and has taken the bumps of being called controversial, hoping for it to all die down eventually. (While writing this Alex appeared on the Happy Hour Podcast to give a rundown of the situation to the hosts who admitted they knew nothing of the situation. What’s worse Alex seems to have glazed over many of his own wrongdoings that only escalated the drama further.) Opinion? To be honest, I don’t know... Alex obviously tried to ride the controversy to boost himself, that much is sure, yet when it came back to bite him he tried to hide and wait for it to blow over. It’s sad, It IS snakeworthy and since a proper apology hasn’t been issued... it’s not a good look for him at all.

Hyojin to me was the worst of the two to me. While she didn’t say as much publicly, it was was was happening behind the scenes that just frustrated me.

(Be aware, if you like Hyojin and think she can do no wrong, DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT. A lot of hot-takes will be thrown out there and a lot of criticism will be put out there too. I WILL be talking about the aftermath at length which is where the support poured in for Hyojin. I will being ripping that apart just as much, if not more for the bullshit that it was.)

Hyojin sucks, and I mean she really sucks. A lot of what was thrown out about Slazo in the Twitlonger allegedly was orchestrated and was the idea of Hyojin herself, taking what Chey was saying and embellishing it with the rest of their friend group. It’s alleged however and won’t be part of the criticism thrown at her.

While the incident was being investigated, Hyojin was too, including her colourful hot takes on Slazo and how creepy he was. Hyojin would never publicly call out Slazo since at the time, anybody who did was getting rinsed by the internet very quickly. So instead she hid on her discord and talked in DM’s about destroying Slazo’s career so he would never recover and deleting messages that challenged how Chey publicly omitted any evidence that made Slazo look like less of a monster. Shady.

During the internet investigations, it was discovered that Hyojin had an old art Twitter where her fictional character was drawn fucking her friends in several positions. The problem was, several of these friends were underage and despite her defence that none of these friends minded.... it was still there for public viewing as was still wrong. One instance even had another youtuber by the name of Kavos in one of these pictures even though he was never asked, nor gave his permission. The irony of all this being that much of what Hyojin criticised Slazo for, she was guilty of herself. Creepy.

Here’s where it gets controversial... probably more for me. Dog dropping rumours aside. (trust me, it was stupid)

Hyojin was getting major flak for everything that was found out about her and it seemed to get too much for her, which is understandable. Her response to all of this was a tweet telling everyone she was going to kill herself. The public response actually became something that confused me, because in the blink of an eye everyone retracted their criticisms and gave out well wishes instead. To make the trend even more sympathetic the youtubers involved in writing the Twitlonger started urging people to give her space and lay off on the nasty comments.

I for one, did not care. Heartless of me? Maybe. But it was all backed up by reasoning. Here was a girl ready to throw the life of a person under the bus for being a slightly shitty boyfriend and lying to make it sound worse. Helping to write up a statement that grossly exaggerated things to such a degree that Slazo was the most hated person on the internet and was blasted by everyone left, right and centre. After he proved to everyone he wasn’t like that, the attention turned on Chey and the friends that helped her and when their dirty laundry was put out there and they were being criticised.... now it was unacceptable? Now it was too much?

YOU TRIED TO OUT A GUY FOR BEING A SEX PEST! Shit that will follow him for life. But people calling out racist remarks you made? the underage porn you had drawn? The toxic behaviour you exhibited to anyone who questioned you?

....yeah that was too much and the line had to be drawn right?

But hey, it’s okay, you can just back to twitter the second the drama blows over and everything is all good now right?

Now this is where I direct it to the people who think that Hyojin is infallible, that she can do no wrong. She messed up bad, real bad. If anything she’s the true villain behind all of this and it’s shocking the lengths people were going to just to defend her. If every racist, abuser or sex pest threatened their life to be let off, this world would be screwed, but the second a darling Tumblr artist with links to popular youtubers does it, it’s a crime to list the irony that she attempted to cancel a guy with far worse repercussions that would lead to life long damage.

The worst part of all of this was that an apology would have cleared all of this. They knew they were wrong but an apology was impossible for them, so instead it’s made bigger, uglier and dirty laundry is shown. If anything, I’m happy it got to where it did since it showed the ugly side of Hyojin for everyone to see. So my opinion of Hyojin?

Fuck Hyojin.

#hyojin #slazo #Drama #offmychest #slazo drama

[aroacepagans]

Alright so the survey on aro community needs from this post got 30 responses, and with it all being long form I don’t expect to get many more.

So what I’m going to do is give summaries of common themes and answers above the cut for people who don’t want to read through a bunch of text, and then I’m going to put individual answers under the cut for folks who are interested. Please note that these are all anonymous survey answers, and they do not necessarily reflect my opinions. I encourage people to have/start discussions around the topics brought up here so that we can work towards having a mutually fulfilling and cohesive community. 

Summary: 

 What are the community needs of alloaros?

More recognition and visibility both within and outside of the aspec community, aro specific spaces where no one will assume that they’re ace and where they don’t have to be bombarded by ace content, safe spaces to talk about their experiences with sexual attraction, and a wider community acknowledgment that ace and aro don’t mean the same thing. 

What are the community needs of aroaces?

Separate aroace spaces, space and language that allows them to express the interconnectedness of their aro and ace identities, a recognition of the diversity of aroace experiences including the experiences of oriented aroaces and aro leaning aroaces, spaces devoid of both sex and romance, and less infighting between the aro and ace communities. 

What are the community needs of non-SAM aros?

New language that doesn’t enforce the use of SAM as a norm and that doesn’t enforce a SAM/ non-SAM binary, more recognition of aromantic as one whole identity, more inclusion of their identity within aro spaces, and having the ability to label themselves as aro without being asked what their other identity is . 

What are the community needs of greyro/ aro-spec folks?

Specific spaces where they can talk about aromantic attraction, more recognition and visibility both within and outside of the aspec community, more greyro/aro-spec specific resources and content, and a larger platform within the aspec community to discuss their experiences.  

What are the shared needs of these different subgroups within the aro and arospec community?

Increased visibility, spaces free from amatonormativity, safe and unbiased shared spaces for all members of the aro/aro-spec community, separation and distinction from alloaces, more in-person spaces, and a building of understanding and acceptance between the different community subgroups.  

How do we meet all of these needs within an online space?

Better and more formalized tagging systems, creating more forums, chats, tags, etc, that are specific to different aro and arospec subgroups, creating more variety in online aro spaces generally, giving equal online spaces and platforms to all aro subgroups, and having open and polite community discussion about our needs within online aro spaces. 

How do we meet all of these needs within an in-person space?

Use inclusive language, allow for smaller sub-communities within larger aro and aspec groups, provide resources for small, lesser known identities both within groups and at pride, push for more aro inclusion in wider queer spaces and create safe and respectful discussion spaces where everyone can voice their needs  

How do we reconcile conflicting needs?

Civil and open discussions, try to find solutions instead of just arguing, and create separate spaces for subgroups when needed while continuing to maintain larger general spaces for discuison and community building. 

Individual answers:

What are the community needs of alloaros?

1. A space to be aromantic but not asexual. As an alloaro myself, I struggle to relate to many aroaces - and the ace community in general - because my sexuality is a big part of my identity, right along side being aromantic. I want a place where I can discuss how being aromantic affects my sexual attraction without having to focus on one or the other

2.  A place to talk about sexual attraction without being ridiculed or being called a player. Advice about how to go about getting a relationship that fulfills their needs without be demeaned to expected to evolve into romantic.

3.  I'm not alloaro, so I don't feel comfortable speculating on their behalf, but from the perspective of an outsider looking in, they need more visibility, both within and outside of the aro community.

4.  Recognition mostly, acknowledging that asexuals can’t keep putting their stuff into the aro tag, the fact that romance repulsed allo aros exist and are uncomfortable with allo aces putting their stuff everywhere

5.  Aro specific places. I personally don't have to talk about sexuality in general areas but aroallo specific places/sites/tags for this would be great.

6.  Dismantling the assumption that aromanticism is inherently linked to asexuality (even if it is for some individuals, it's most definitely not a hard rule that applies to everybody else), moving away from seeing aroace as the "default" aro experience and in fact not assuming one's other possible identities because they identify as aro at all

7.  Not one myself - probably spaces to find safe hook-ups if desired, to talk amongst themselves

8.  Less ace experience talking over aro experience. Also, not conflating the two identities as one.

9.  I often feel ashamed of the allo part of my identity. I think more visibility would help a lot. It also took a very long time for me to even consider being aro because I was under the impression I had to be ace so separating those ideas would help.

10.  As I’m not allo aro I can’t really say, but a lot of them have been speaking out and saying that they don’t want aro to automatically mean aroace, and that aromantism is not a sub sexuality is asexual

11.  To talk about alloaro specific issues freely, and to not be assumed to be ace or to have to leave our sexualities at the door when entering aro spaces

12.  Increased awareness that one can experience sexual attraction without romantic attraction

13.  To be respected and given a aro-specific space/platform to discuss their needs/issues/etc

14.   A space to not be: assumed ace, confused with aces, forced to avoid talking about how they want sex without romance and how that sexual desire affects them, etc. A space where they can find others like them to help them understand themselves better and make friendships and feel less isolated.

15.  i'm not alloaro so i'm not going to speak for them but like. acknowledging that aro does not mean ace and allowing the aro community to exist outside of the ace umbrella is super important

What are the community needs of aroaces?

1.  Recognition that aro is an equal and completely it's own community but that the community doesn't have to be completely separated.

2.  Separated areas where uniquely aroace experiences can be discussed

3.  Less infighting between the aromantic and asexual communities. You can and should call out hurtful behavior by the other community, but going into isolation mode leaves aroaces stuck in the middle of two sides retreating in on themselves. Aroace issues are aro issues! Aroace issues are ace issues!

4.  Acknowledging that we occupy a unique overlap between the aro and ace communities that no other perioriented people experience (if we can even call ourselves perioriented, since we're basically forced to straddle two communities or else have one aspect of our identity erased); having spaces where we can talk about our aroaceness without having to separate out our identities, when we often can't

5.  Well if you mean just "aroaces" who use it as one word for a convergent orientation they need a place where mixing up and "confusing" an experience as related to their aromanticism when it's more about being ace doesn't get aros yelling at them in the Tumblr tags that they shouldn't tag it aromanticism and they're stupid/horrible hurting aros when they do. They need a place where they can talk about their experiences as very interconnected and inseparable without offending people for whom they are separable. They likely mostly want to learn from allo aros and allo aces what it feels like to be allo so they better understand more of society and don't want to feel alienated from either community of aces as a whole or aros as a whole.

6.  I just want some safe wholesome space. Since I joined the aro community on tumblr couple years back, it just feels like the community is defined by discourse, negativity, fights, petty disagreements and drama. I understand, the community is still in diapers and we need to figure ourselves out, but I feel like we've lost the way. Do we need to react to every troll and hater? Is seriously someone offended by them? Why do we legitimise and acknowledge them as part of the discussion? It's like giving an equal platform to scientists and flat earthers. Is this really how we want to be? If you try to think away all the drama stuff, what's left? Is there anything left at all?

7.  The freedom to find their place in both ace/aro spaces and for people to allow them to use/not use the SAM as they see fit. Perhaps giving non-SAM aroaces some new language?

8.  More community for aro aces. As an aro ace myself I always have to divide time between the aro and ace communities

9.  a space where both identities are recognised as equally important - a space where aro identity isn't seen as a subset of ace identity, or deriving from it - somewhere they can express romance and sex repulsion or lack of thereof

10.  A term that isn’t AroAce. Something that is not just a combination of aromantic and asexual. But to also not be a sub set of allo aro or allo ace. We shouldn’t need to choose which identity is more important and we shouldn’t have to use the SAM.

11.  I think to recognize that there is an aroace spectrum. You can be mlm, wlw, nblnb, etc and still be aroace

12.  Content that doesn't rely on "but we still experience x attraction!", tips for living alone/single, also tips for finding/being in a committed relationship such as a qpr (I personally want a relationship but I have no idea how to even start looking for one)

13.  I am not aroace so my opinion should not carry as much weight as others but from what my aroace friends irl say, I think we need more recognition for oriented aroaces

14.  To be able to talk about the intersection of our identities and how we are uniquely impacted by aphobia

15.  Understanding that not all aroaces feel that their two identifiers hold equal value to them (e.g. aromantic as a primary identity with asexuality as a secondary identity). Letting people focus on the one identity over the other is not an exclusion on the other identity; their preferred identity is just more meaningful in their lifes and/or personal growth.

16.  Available spaces that are not only sexualised spaces (eg clubs), options to avoid discussion of sex, being hit on if desired (colour code in mixed irl aro-spaces?)

17.  Aroaces need a space where they don't have to pick between their aro and ace identities, as well as a space where sex and/or romance repulsed aroaces dont have to deal with romance or sex in any way

18.  Idk, not aro ace but I would say recognition as well

19.  Full disclosure, I've mostly stopped participating in the ace/aro communities of late (though I haven't stopped reading it) because it felt like every time aroaces spoke up, we were brushed aside or shrugged off because we were the "privileged" ones (in both aro and ace circles). That means I'm a bit out of the loop. I identify far more with my aromanticism than my asexuality, but I've definitely been made to feel that I'm somehow a negative influence on both communities because I technically belong to both. I feel bad enough discussing my identity outside of the ace and aro communities, particularly among queer friends - it feels like when I bring up aroace experiences, it's like I've doused the fire of whatever conversation I was in, and I don't feel like replicating that feeling by trying to talk about it on the 'net, too. So, I guess we mostly need acceptance. We need spaces where alloaros can talk about their experiences without feeling bombarded by aroaces, we need spaces where aroaces can talk about our experiences without feeling like we're marauding on allo experiences, and we need places where both sides can talk about our aromanticism as one community. We as aroaces need to do better about determining when to discuss our issues, and making sure we're discussing them within the communities they're relevant to, as well. I have a pretty solid handle on which aspects of my identity are informed by my aromanticism and which are informed by my asexuality, but that's not a universal experience. Plenty of people have issues separating the two, especially when they're missing both sexual AND romantic attraction. It's hard to determine which of those "missing" pieces are supposed to fit where, and it's important to understand and find a place for these people to post, as well. But ultimately there needs to be more acceptance and openess all around. And I have no idea how we can do all of this.

20.  Often aro and ace-ness are inseparable to aroaceness and thus unless something is very specifically about sexual attraction aroaces need to have a sense of flexibility

21.  Honestly, as a greyro-ace myself, I feel like aroaces are sort of the face of the community

What are the community needs of non-SAM aros?

1.  it's all in the name 'non-SAM' for me. that it is assumed everyone has multiple attractions and/or labels themselves by them. it's use rather implies that the words aro or aromantic or aro-spec /don’t/ automatically include us. it's obviously a perspective change needed here, maybe a new term or descriptor as well? i don’t kno really but i hate the specification of — the expected /need to/ specify — non-SAM.

2.  I'm gonna skip the other Qs b/c I don't think I can speak for SAM-using folks. Anyway, as a non-SAM aro I think some of my big things are 1. Recognizing that aromanticism can be its own identity without being split or modified 2. Ending the default assumption that I am ace, identify as ace, and know what the heck ace people need in their communities. 3. Recognizing and respecting aros who don't want or desire QPPs and making it clear that non-QPP friendships and family are not only as good as but can be just as fulfilling as other relationship models. 4. Including non-SAM people as part of our basic and default definitions of asexuality and aromanticism. 5. Making space for discussions of why microlabels don't work for everyone and why the SAM doesn't work for everyone 6. Making an active effort to make aspec spaces more accessible to folks who have just learned about aspec stuff, folks with cognitive and language disabilities, and non-native English speakers. And, like on a broad note, my autism makes it difficult for me to break my identity into tiny pieces. The aspec community's focus on microlabels and the split attraction model, plus the fact that the people participating in discussions often seem to be younger than me and just barely in the process of developing an identity that I've been comfortable in for many years, makes me feel isolated and alienated from the community. When I do participate, the complex and high-entry-level jargon that some members of the community use make it difficult for me to participate in community interactions, which leaves me feeling even more alienated.

3.  again, not speaking over other people, but it's important to recognize that aromanticism is a full identity on its own and doesn't inherently require use of the SAM. breaking down the alloaro/aroace binary

4.  It seems they want to just talk about aromanticism without having people judge which type of aro they are for if their views count etc. They want more than anyone for aces to be better allies when it comes to LGBTQIA arguing where the A doesn't mean Ally and rather asexual that there needs to be room for the queerness of aromanticism in the LGBTQ+ umbrella. They more than anyone will always need aromantic specific everything - recognition, representation, communities, where no one expects you to also be something else

5.  For myself, mostly non binary language and less assumptions that all aros ID with the SAM would be helpful, also acknowlement that non-SAM aros may have differing experiences as a group. This sounds small, and honestly it is, but the unintended consequence of binary language addressing only 'aroaces' and 'aroallos' that I've seen is that spaces can become increasingly polarized between different split attractions and then I've just kind of slipped through the gap in between. It's just my personal experience, of course, but honestly just including this box in the survey is a great start.

6.  In-space focuses and new language.

7.  More awareness

8.  A space where we don't feel the need to express ace/allo identity alongside our aro identity

9.  To not get caught in an alloaro Vs aroace war that they can't pick a side for, is probably one.

10.  We just need ppl to stop kind of adding us in a sentence in their post or say 'not everyone uses the sam' I wish we could have more discussions on why the sam doesn't really work for us or how we're left out from the community as a whole.

11.  Acceptance of just being aro. Aromantic is a whole independent identity despite where it was born.

12.  A space to talk about how the ace community has harmed them or made them feel unwelcome without aroaces or alloaces acting like it is an insult

What are the community needs of greyro/ aro-spec folks?

1.  Understanding that not everyone is completely aro or that their romantic attraction levels change.

2.  providing spaces to talk about experiences with romantic attraction/relationships

3.  I'm in this group. I need to feel like it's ok that aromanticism stay a spectrum and some aros are "more ace" (I'm sex-averse etc) than clearly aro (I might choose to date) and to not feel like people are accusing me of being alloromantic when I don't feel alloro. If people make sweeping statements about aros that don't include me or sweeping statements about alloros that do cover my experiences, it is hurtful and invalidating of my identity. And it even can make me doubt myself which isn't fair after I've spent years figuring myself out. I want a happy community that can get along and not hate aces preemptively before any of the select aces they're talking to did anything wrong. Who can forgive aces who make mistakes but who want to be better allies. I'm an ace and an aro-spec person. I'm an ally to aros who aren't gray but all forms of people being an ally takes some learning curve. Understanding that can go a long way.20 hours agoMore awareness21 hours agomore discussion about our orientations, more material for us in general, people getting a platform to share heir experiences. i feel kind of isolated in the aro community because there isnt a lot thats directed at us and our experiences that are neither really aro nor alloa day ago- a space where romance repulsion and simultaneous lack of thereof is acknowledgeda day agoIdk I'm not on the speca day agoMore content for the smaller identities under the spectrum umbrella would probably be nice, also asexuality being jammed together with aromanticism can be annoying sometimes especially if the post only really has to do with one or the other. Visibility in stories and media and such would also be greata day agoacknowledge that not everyone is strictly ace or allo. Like alloaros, allow us to talk about whether we want romantic partners or how our experiences differ from non grayro aros.a day agoN/aa day agoTheir own voice for their complicated feelings about being on the aromantic spectrum.a day agoNot greyro, likewise not my place to comment.2 days agoThe aro community is actually already pretty good about this, but it's cool that romance still happens for some of us and that out voices are allowed to at the very least be on our own space without criticism.2 days agoUh2 days agoArospecs need to be able to talk about their approach to romance, as it is very often very separate from the way allo people experience romantic attraction2 days agoI think both grey and demi aromanticism and asexuality in general need more recognition 2 days ago

4.  More awareness

5.  more discussion about our orientations, more material for us in general, people getting a platform to share heir experiences. i feel kind of isolated in the aro community because there isnt a lot thats directed at us and our experiences that are neither really aro nor allo

6.  a space where romance repulsion and simultaneous lack of thereof is acknowledged

7.  More content for the smaller identities under the spectrum umbrella would probably be nice, also asexuality being jammed together with aromanticism can be annoying sometimes especially if the post only really has to do with one or the other. Visibility in stories and media and such would also be great

8.  acknowledge that not everyone is strictly ace or allo. Like alloaros, allow us to talk about whether we want romantic partners or how our experiences differ from non grayro aros.

9.  Their own voice for their complicated feelings about being on the aromantic spectrum.

10.  The aro community is actually already pretty good about this, but it's cool that romance still happens for some of us and that out voices are allowed to at the very least be on our own space without criticism.

11.  Arospecs need to be able to talk about their approach to romance, as it is very often very separate from the way allo people experience romantic attraction

12.  I think both grey and demi aromanticism and asexuality in general need more recognition

What are the shared needs of these different subgroups within the aro and arospec community?

1.  what we need across the board is recognition, compassion, and dissemination.

2.  More aro recognition and its own and equal but not completely seperate from ace (for aro aces) community.

3.  To discuss their experiences with the lack of romantic attraction and amatonormativity, amongst other General arospec issues

4.  safe spaces to talk about being aro and all of the ways it intersects with other aspects of our identity; representation and advocacy

5.  Neutral aro-spec spaces where all intersectionality is equally accepted but also not the main topic or qualifier; recognition of a broad range of experiences; recognition of specific language and acknowledgment of their existences; facilitated ability to speak about more specific or 'niche' topics

6.  Recognition in queer spaces and healthy dialogue about language.

7.  i think we all want a platform for our specific topics and we want recognition, but also community

8.  A space where romance repulsion is acknowledged and respected - a space where aro identity is prioritised, no matter what other identities go along with it, if there are any at all

9.  To move forward in our activism to make aromanticism more well known and more accepted in society?? And to have a safe place to go after a day of dealing with amatonormativity and aphobia.

10.  To make ourselves exist outside the definition of asexual

11.  I think all the communities/identities need to recognize that there is a problem. If we unite with each other and have so much love and understanding in the form of unity, I think a lot of these problems will resolve themselves.

12.  Visibility?

13.  make sure we understand each other's experiences and what makes everyone feel included / excluded. We need to make that we sure we own up if we excluded someone, and that we try to fix it.

14.  Visibility is my greatest concern for all aspects of aro and arospec problems.

15.  Aces need to stop speaking for them. Aro-spec and aro people can speak for themselves on their own experiences. Additionally, aroaces need to focus more on the aro identity (whether it's primary or secondary to them) when it involves aro discourse. They can have a focus on their ace identity only with the exception that both identities are heavily tied to each other and both identities are discussed. Again, this is specifically for aro-specific discourse.

16.  Discussion of amatonormativity, experiences with pressure to find partners

17.  A creation of a unified aro space that includes and supports *anybody* identifying as aro or arospec

18.  The validity of aro identities shaping gender identities. I believe I'm nb in large part because of aromanticism.

19.  All four of these groups need visibility and more in person communities

20.  Allo aces need to stop taking over everything is the overarching problem when you think about it, they also need to stop throwing aros under the bus

21.  We ALL need more visibility. We need voices that aren't reliant on the ace community to speak for us as an afterthought, and I say that AS an ace. We need to talk about aromanticism as a whole. And we need to do so proudly and informatively. I've noticed that it's really, really hard to talk about aromanticism without making it sound like I'm demonizing romantic attraction, and that's a dangerous treading ground within the queer community. There's been a lot of negatively portraying queer romantice from outside of the community, and we need to make sure we're not stepping on those land mines, but we do need our voices heard on aromanticism and amatonormativity, too. Also, we need to hold fast to QPRs and squishes (and, imo, aplatonic) and not let those ideas get swept out with the discourse trash. We also need to support both the aros who want and have QPRs, and the aros who want nothing to do with them. I see a lot of support for aros in various forms of non-romantic (and sometimes romantic) relationships, but very little for aros who choose to fly solo, and what that means in a world that expects you to pair up.

22.  I do think we need to be more openly vocal about our separateness from the ace community, though it seems to be tearing aroaces apart at the seams

23.  A space to discuss aromanticism - however people experience it - in a space were others are opening and welcoming. Possibly also older members of the community giving advice to newer members who are struggling to come to terms with their aromanticism in a society so focused on romance

24.  I feel like a lot of aros are frustrated with their experiences being mislabeled as ace experiences, or having the assumption that aro and ace experiences are basically the same

How do we meet all of these needs within an online space?

1.  make sure you aren’t in an echochamber? share/create content for orientations other than your own? be kind? remember that when we're fighting it's kind of over scraps and we deserve better? i'm not sure honestly but i really think a lot of this comes down to perspective. plus remember the block button exists lol. i'm talking about things all on a personal, individual level and i don’t kno how to effect anything otherwise. how about a content creation week where the subject is an orientation other than your own? with emphasis on asking questions to get shit right. it'd be a learning experience that builds community. i can't think of a thing to answer this question on a larger scale ://

2.  We accept that some people see their aro and/or ace identitie/s seperate and some don't. Also that some only have one of these identities. And we spread aro recognition.

3.  Equal education and resources for all parts of the aro spectrum

4.  Cut it out with the pack instinct. Aces and aros snarling at eachother really freaks out aroaces. 

5.  it's impossible to curate a monolithic online space that will meet the needs of every single member of the aro community. what's important is acknowledging your own biases and hearing out the perspectives of others who differ from you, and not generalizing your own experiences/needs/perspectives to the community as a whole. we can create more subgroup-oriented spaces all we want, but at the end of the day we're still part of the same larger aro community and in order for that to work out the best thing we can do is just listen to each other. 

6.  Appropriate tagging has been brought up before, perhaps a reworked umbrella tag system? Again more neutral spaces; appropriate tagging for repulsion and aversion and on the other end acceptance of a variety of topics (i.e. some people will be talking about sex and that's good and healthy, as long as it's tagged there shouldn't be an issue with that); more specific and intersectional spaces; less verbal conflation of ace and aro though I think that's been getting better? Then again a big problem is the aroace split between two communities. I unfortunately do not have any ideas for that 

7.  Provide and Aro-specific online space similar to AVEN. 

8.  trying to give a more equal focus to different subgroups maybe? coming together and caring about those whose experiences are slightly different from ours and giving them a platform too. encouraging diversity 

9.  i'm not sure but it starts by making spaces outside of discourse. blogs like "aro-soulmate-project" are especially important to me because they address not only intra and outside community issues, but because they create aro identity at the same time people interact. 

10.  Idk put everything in the tag it belongs in (aroace content in aro, ace and aroace tags, general aro content in aro aroace and alloaro tags, and alloaro content in aro and alloaro tags, etc) and stop harassing each other. Groups might benefit from ace chat channels and allosexual chat channels? But idk if that's too divisive in some opinions 

11.  Group chats? More posts combining the communities? Spreading the love to everybody everywhere! 

12.  Open discussion 

13.  Since aro communities are extremely small and have been largely ignored-even by the a-spec community-it is up to the a-spec (yes, this includes alloaces) community to be more inclusive when making a-spec positive/information posts while also making more efforts to reblog diverse aro discourse so that aro people get a chance to speak. 

14.  Different tags/ smaller chatrooms. Probably tags people can follow or block 

15.  Better tagging systems, breaking down assumptions and not projecting one's one experience of identity onto everybody else who happens to be aro, creating sub-communities that are specifically suited for a specific subgroup's needs while still being united as the general aro community 

16.  On tumblr, proper tagging of content. 

17.  I think something that would actually help is like an aroace specific forum. We have arocalypse but that seems to be mostly alloaros and I want a forum where I can be aroace and not have to pick sides 

18.  Tag things accordingly 

19.  As I mentioned before, I'm not really involved in community discussions beyond reading about them, but coming up with a standard tagging system seems to be a start. 

20.  Often these needs have been met, though there could be a better job of say tagging 'romance' for repulsed aros and we need to open up space for both romo repulsed and positive to speak at the same time 

21.  I don't know. The internet is too big to manage. I think of the internet as more of many different spaces

How do we meet all of these needs within an in-person space?

1.  Represent everyone, let people speak, let people correct you, aim to make friends, remember that we're all under the A together.

2.  Same as above

3.  Stop generalizing and start being inclusive with language. There’s a big difference.

4.  Listen, if no one ever walks up to me and says "Hey, [name], you're ace right?" just because I told them I was aro and they forgot, I will be happy.

5.  i suppose the same rules apply. listening, providing spaces for subgroups to talk about specific issues, etc.

6.  Similar to previous answer, but spaces advertised as neutral or with multiple groups need to be more explicit in inclusion of a variety of experiences and topics. There are ways to manage this so everyone is in understanding and comfortable, namely just good communication (hence being explicit) and systems of feedback

7.  Queer spaces just need to be informed that the usual a-spec narrative is not the only one. But this will change as people share their experiences.

8.  more aro awareness alongside but also differentiated from ace awareness, and all this coupled with a focus on acceptance rather than identification

9.  A case by case basis? I guess? It'd depend on the scope of the space

10.  Booths at Pride recognizing the lesser known orientations. Doesn’t even have to be booths! Pins, stickers, t-shirts work just fine. Maybe a logo for a-spec, aro-spec, and aroace staying that we are all united.

11.  have info that includes all of us eg. pamphlets don't have the ace flag everywhere and acknowledge that their are aspecs who experience romantic or sexual attraction, and that not everyone uses the sam.

12.  I have only come across one aspec space in-person but it is in the form of a discussion group and everyone is allo ace so I feel extremely unwelcome. I wish there were more resources about aromanticism I could bring to these groups.

13.  For one: language is important. Renaming everything to a-spec meetups/groups instead of ace meetups/groups makes the other identity more welcomed and higher possibilities of growing the community. Again, there are more aces out there than aros at the moment, so it is up to those ace groups to make it more inclusive to all a-spec people. We're a community in this together wheter you feel a certain identity or not. That's what being Queer's all about.

14.  Create an aro-space first... Then events for sub-groups only where they can talk amongst themselves but also community events

15. Have a large variety of arospec spaces to choose from so that everyone can have their needs met

16.  Talk about all aspects, let people voice their experiences and find common ground

17.  I don't participate in in-person communities. Partly because I'm not out to more than just a few friends, and partly because I wouldn't want to go to one and be the stereotypical aroace. I feel both far too representative of both the aro and ace communities, and also not part of either. And thanks to the discourse, I'm not convinced I'd be welcome at a queer meetup at all. In addition, I've already mentioned before that just bringing up my experiences as either an ace or an aro tends to be a conversation-killer. So, I guess it rolls back around to visibility. Making others aware of our existence so that when aro experiences DO come up in in-person conversations, we can avoid the uncomfortable, awkward silences that follow. And I think that can only be done by talking about them.

18.  I'll eat my hat the day that I manage to find a sizable in-person space for aces or aros

How do we reconcile conflicting needs?

1.  I believe this question is far too subjective to each instance that has and will pop up. Which is no help unfortunately.

2.  We accept that sometimes someone needs these needs and someone else needs other needs. Also we ask what people's needs are before we assume their needs.

3.  By talking out our issues civilly and talking about what bothers us so we can accommodate and adapt as needed if needed, and filter out people who just make the community toxic.

4.  Live and let live. Talk it out. Find a solution rather than growing increasingly angry. Literally anything that’s not cocooning away in indignation, we are supposed to be a community.

5.  i don't think our needs actually conflict, for the most part. with the exception of greyro/arospec folks needing space to talk about romance and romance repulsed folks needing to get away from it. but that can be solved by tagging things (at least in the case of online spaces). i think a lot of our perceived conflict comes from the conflation of different issues. for example, giving alloaros room to exist apart from asexuality and giving aroaces room to navigate that awkward space in between aren't inherently mutually exclusive. i recognize that striking that sort of balance is easier said than done, but i think if it were easy we wouldn't be having this discussion at all. we're a diverse population and our needs are ALWAYS going to differ. but we're also always going to overlap in a lot of ways, which is why the aro community exists to begin with.

6.  Imagine you have a spoiled child. You can do everything in your power to give them what they need. Do you think it will be ever enough? Oh, but what's worse, by concentrating on the spoiled child, you completely forgot you have a second one, starving in the corner.

7.  Give each person a choice in the language they use and don't force anyone into an identity/stereotype of aspec experience that doesn't fit. Just listen to people.

8.  By giving space for both and working out compromises or plans of action

9.  Definitely not fuckin argue for weeks and attack one another, discourse only fragments our tiny movement

10.  Set up a time for when allo aro can talk about their experience and the way their identities interact. This lets aroace choose whether they want to come or not. The usual meeting should be a time where any aroace, allo aro, and non-sam using aro can talk about being aro. Or for aros to just meet and interact.

11.  a group discussion where everyone can share their experiences but also safe spaces for aroaces / alloaces / nonsam aros /grayros to talk so ppl can discuss if someone hurt them or made them feel excluded in the group discussion and so they can talk about things that are specific to their smaller communities

12.  Open discussion and properly tagging things

13.  Aro people have been patient. Ace and ace-spec people need to recognize that their exclusive behaviors are mirroring the same horrible mentality that exclusionists in the LGBT+ have. Also recognize that ignoring (or consistently forgetting) the identity is a form of the excluding that identity in regards to posts that are suppose to be a-spec/Queer/LGBTIA+ positive/informative.

14.  Respect and communication, separate spaces when necessary

15.  Creating sub-communities that can prioritize a specific group's needs in that space while not conflicting with the general aro community.

16.  Idk like listen to eachother?

17.  The people who have a problem avoid? Idk

18.  honestly don't know. I absolutely understand the frustrations of alloaros getting ace posts in the aro tags, and I understand the frustrations of aroaces posting their experiences and being told those tags don't belong. I think the ace community as a whole needs to be made aware that the aro tag is not a dumping ground for ace-specific posts, and that if they want to include support and positivity and include the aro tag, then the post needs to INCLUDE US. I think a lot of frustration on all sides right now is that aromanticism comes off as asexuality's afterthought, and I don't think any of us as aros feel that way. I don't think we need a full break from the ace community, and I think we need to stop blaming aroaces when we make relevant posts to the aro tag, since I suspect quite a bit of this issue is from people who legitimately don't realize that aro tags are not the same as ace tags (i.e. ace positivity blogs that post something relevant to ace experiences and think they're being inclusive by "including" aros, because "we're all aspec, just swap out the 'sexual attraction' for 'romantic attraction'!"). But I, as an ace, am of the opinion that the ace community as a whole needs a solid kick in the pants to get them to work with us on cleaning up the tags and acknowledging that aros aren't just aces with a word swap, that we have our own significantly different concerns and ways to navigate the world that aces can't understand. But here's the problem, too. The ace community is one of the larger "aro" voices right now because the aro community is really quiet. Yes, we have our voices, but if you go looking for ace spaces, you find them. You find them in spades. You go looking for aro spaces? You have to dig. You almost have to know what you're looking for before you can find it. I see aros submitting asks on ace blogs, asking where to go to find aro-specific blogs, and there's always only a handful of suggestions. I think a lot of the reason aroaces seem so visible is because we -are- in the ace spaces, talking, and the ace spaces are big. The aromantic community's biggest priority right now is to grow and be heard.

19.  fuck idk tbh the most we can really do is post about it and hope people see and listen

#aromantic #alloaro #aroace #arospec #greyro #greyromantic #non-sam aro #aro #long post #this ace blabbers #Community Discussion

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FOR CONFUSED BYSTANDERS

I know that I have a lot of followers who have been (very patiently) witnessing a stream of pictures, commentary, and general posts related to Final Fantasy XIV. This is going to be my attempt to present the game and its story with context for you guys who have no idea what’s going on.

I’m doing this for two reasons, the first being I LOVE THIS GAME. If I can share the positive experience I’ve had with other people, I’d like to do that. The second reason is, for people who still follow but aren’t necessarily going to play themselves--it might offer enough background info to make posts that go up more entertaining at least. I know I don’t personally mind seeing bloggers, writers, artists, etc. share something I’m unfamiliar with, but it gets more fun when I have some clue what it’s about.

Parts of this post will be just about my own subjective experience, some will be recapping the story, some will be going over different ways I’ve seen people play in case that appeals. So on and so forth. I’m aiming to offer an honest reflection on whatever seems important.

Putting this under a cut because really, this is fucking long. Not as long as it looks because pictures are included but even still. For anyone who reads, I hope you enjoy and if you have questions don’t hesitate to hit me up! :)

BACKGROUND - NON-MMO PLAYER LOVES THIS MMO

I have never played an MMO before this. I’m pretty apathetic about them for the most part. When I play games I like to design things, get good pictures, and kill baddies for stress relief. I'm here to immerse in an exciting world and story, meet characters I can invest in. Stuff in that vein. So far as gaming goes I’m pretty simple.

There are people who put heavy emphasis on the social elements of FFXIV. They’ll play with their friends specifically, either because they’re focused on fighting together or because they want to roleplay or just to hang out. I’m not really in that category.

I entered knowing no one, and while I’ve made some friends through FFXIV I mostly interact with them outside the game itself. This can happen on tumblr, on forums, on the official blog platform, etc. In-game, I encounter other players all the time but it is generally something like “I was running around the city doing stuff and other people were also running around the city doing stuff”. You can approach people. You can message them and do little emotes like waving or hugging or slapping or whatever. You can do these emotes directed at nobody and just see your character go through the animations, which can be fun for taking pictures.

More detailed encounters with other players happen in dungeons, trials, and raids. These are called registered duties. Guildhests and PVP (player versus player) exist too, but I haven’t done them. I’ll elaborate later, but the gist you need to know here is that you are grouped in with a fixed number of additional players and then placed in a setting with a pre-set encounter or encounters to overcome. Some of these are straightforward, some require strategy.

In FFXIV, people usually chat to varying degrees during duties. Most are polite, pleasant, and focused on gameplay. At least where I am, which I’ll also go into later. Occasionally there are people who are jerks in the sense that they are inconsiderate or rude to other players. Also occasionally, people are incompetent. More often though I’ll encounter someone with a great sense of humor or people who have helpful tips to improve.

This is a game where, if you see a player marked as new struggling with low level monsters, a more experienced player might pause to oneshot that monster so the newbie can escape. People are casually nice most of the time.

Since I’d normally be doing single-player anyway, for me this is very refreshing. I get to do all the things I’d be doing in a single-player video game, but I also get light exchanges with other fans in ways that aren’t disruptive. There’s enough meat to the Main Quest Scenario (MSQ) and side quests that I don’t feel bored or lonely at all.

FFXIV does cost money to play and has a subscription. This can be paid in varying increments. I personally think it’s worth it because 1) the developers are adding new content on a pretty regular basis 2) the developers actually care about quality and having happy fans 3) the game keeps getting better over time 4) there is SO MUCH you can do in the game. It is truly expansive beyond anything else I’ve seen. I might not be ready to do a subscription with every game, but for this one absolutely.

This essentially plays like a normal final fantasy game in most respects. You might run around solo by-and-large, but there is an NPC supporting cast. They and the villains get fleshed out very well. Same goes for civilians and other background characters. The biggest difference off the top of my head is the story’s beginning...

OBSTACLES

I’m going to get this out of the way early, but in essence I think there are two main obstacles as a beginner. The first and most notable of these is that the game’s entry point, called “A Realm Reborn”, is less well-written and EXTREMELY LONG.

Seriously. I’ve only gotten one character past this point and it took me a stupid amount of time. Some of the quests at this stage are things like “my dad doesn’t like the stinky chocobo please spray it with perfume so it is less stinky”.  Or “jump through all these stupid hoops so you can fight the exciting boss you’ve been waiting for”.

However, the length at least is slotted to be fixed in the future. I’ll probably announce that when it happens in case that’s the deal changer for anyone.

On writing quality, it starts off mediocre. However, later writing is so strong that it actually manages to make past scenes WAY more interesting. The initial setup also kind of lures you into a false sense of security, at which point shit gets real very fast.

The second obstacle for beginners involves a degree of not knowing what you don’t know. For example, there is an extremely powerful attack that can be used in registered duties called “Limit Break”. Initially I didn’t even know where to find it to put in my move hotbar. Then I didn’t know that using it would take limit break away from other players in the group. Then I didn’t know that the limit breaks of different jobs needed to be used under different circumstances. An example of this would be that spellcaster SHOULD use a limit break attack on freakishly large groups of enemies, but SHOULD NOT use limit break on a lone boss unless there is literally no other damage class (DPS) available to do it. This is because the overall impact of caster limit break is comparatively low, but effects more enemies at the same time. Using limit break inappropriately can frustrate people.

There are other things similar to this, such as when you use Duty Finder (a roulette that sets you up with completely random people interested in the same registered duty) and when you use Party Finder (where you announce what registered duty you want to do with what circumstances, then people volunteer to join), or being aware of which moves are supposed to be used in which order for top efficiency. That said, if you tell people you’re completely new they’ll usually be willing to explain.

If it’s something like “how do I use the glamour plates to switch into designs I made easily” or “how does crafting even work”, youtube is very helpful too! Overall just take initiative and communicate to people your experience level while in groups and things tend to work out.

THE STORY

Disclaimer: Recaps get less detailed over time to avoid spoiling too hard.

SHORT VERSION

You are a god-slayer, or more precisely the slayer of false-gods. False-gods drain the land to make it lifeless and are prone to brainwashing people. You also regularly fight the rough equivalent of angels who believe the world as you know it has gone horribly wrong and are trying to force things back into their natural forms. Excessive death ensues anytime they are successful, so high stakes. Meanwhile, an authoritarian and technologically advanced nation is causing issues on the regular and has to be stopped.

PRELUDE/LEGACY

Final Fantasy XIV had a rocky start with patch section 1.0/the true beginning, which I did not play. While there are videos online of what it was like for those curious, the gist is that five years before the current opening the world was stricken by a terrible calamity. The nation of Eorzea (an allied collection of city states) was at war with the Garlean Empire--otherwise known as Garlemald. During this war, one of Garlemald’s scientists implemented a genocidal strategy against the Eorzeans by dragging the lesser of two moons down upon their heads. This moon was called Dalamud. However, what took this situation from bad to worse was that Dalamud wasn’t actually a moon but a prison.

Thousands of years prior, the technologically advanced nation of Allag had been performing experiments using dragons and entities known as primals. Primals are summoned into being using a combination of aether (life energy, the source of magic), ritual, and the belief of their summoners. One of Allag’s experiments involved murdering a powerful dragon then using the tortured prayers of his lover and his kin to summon a warped, primal imitation of him. This primal was then trapped as a power source and left to fester in rage and insanity.

The dragon’s primal is Bahamut. Dalamud was his cage.

When Dalamud burst open above Eorzea, Bahamut was released in all his apocalyptic glory. A collection of heroes, allied to an organization called the Scions of the Seventh Dawn (dedicated to eliminating primals for the toll they take on the land and its people) stood against Bahamut. A man named Louisoix Levellieur, leader of the Scions, cast a powerful spell by summoning the Twelve Eorzean gods to stop Bahamut. This spell cast the primal, Louisoix, and the heroes five years into the future. It also wiped the heroes, known thereafter as the Warriors of Light, from memory.

Part of what makes 1.0 really cool looking back--when the developers saw how many problems existed in the MMO, they knew they would need to reboot it. There was a date set for that to happen, which would involve taking Final Fantasy XIV offline until an improved version could be released. Players knew the real world reasons behind all this. What they didn’t know was how the hiatus and reboot would be presented within the narrative.

People who were up-to-date in the storyline knew that war had erupted and that the moon was falling. They also knew that a particular time, the game would be taken offline.

This is what they saw.

A REALM REBORN

The average player, and likely anyone reading this, will not have played patch 1.0. For us, Final Fantasy XIV begins five years after Bahamut’s calamity. The world is still recovering and has been irrevocably scarred in the dragon’s wake. Refugees from both that event and Garlemald’s conquered territories pour in even as the empire bides its time for another invasion.

The player is a fledgling adventurer endowed with a gift called The Echo. The Echo is an ability that first, prevents them from being brainwashed (or “Tempered”) by primals. This is important because like I said before, one of the things that gives primals their power is belief. This extends to prayer. If a person is tempered, they will worship and empower the primal responsible until they die. This means most people can’t even approach primals safely, much less fight them. More than one character (including NPCs) possess The Echo, but it remains a rare ability.

Another aspect of this gift is that it allows someone (without any deliberate control) to see into the memories of others, superimposing emotions and perspectives of the event over the witnessing Echo-user. It also translates all direct speech into an understandable form to the Echo-user. There are additional abilities that become unveiled over the course of the story, but these are most important and consistent going in.

The player initially is just one of many such adventurers, a guild of independent mercenaries willing to undertake odd jobs using their skill in combat. After coming into conflict with a mysterious, masked organization, however, it becomes clear that the player has been chosen as champion to Hydaelyn herself.

Because you see, Hydaelyn isn’t just the name of the planet. This is also a sentient mothercrystal claiming the role of protector to all life on Her surface.

The masked organization consists of spirits with varying degrees of immortality. They also have the ability to body snatch. These are called Ascians. Ascians argue that the world was split into fourteen pieces thousands of years ago by Hydaelyn, and that their dark crystal god--Zodiark--is the true will of the star and represents a natural state of being that must be reclaimed. Their way of pursuing this objective requires causing a series of apocalypses or near-apocalypses, always coming with innumerable casualties.

As Hydaelyn’s champion the player joins the Scions of the Seventh Dawn in combating primals, fights against lingering threats from Garlemald, and thwarts Ascian plans to continue rejoining the world through calamities.

A trailer for this arc can be viewed here.

HEAVENSWARD

Shit goes pear shaped in a big way and you have to flee territories held by the Eorzean Alliance--city states including Ul’dah, Limsa Lominsa, and Gridania. Ishgard, now a frozen, mountainous landscape ruled by a religion dedicated to the goddess Halone, takes your character in.

Ishgard has been at war with the draconic nation of Dravania for thousands of years. Dragons are immortal by natural means, but can be slain. Ishgard no longer remembers, by and large, why the war even started except that they have been losing loved ones in horrifying ways for as long as they can remember. They refused to send aid during the struggle against Garlemald specifically because they couldn’t spare forces from their war with Dravania. They have a reputation for being hostile to outsiders, having extreme class divides, and inquisition-style zealotry. Nonetheless, there are good people here and over the course of A Realm Reborn the player manages to befriend some of them.

This arc delves into Ishgard’s war, and involves the player taking part while clearing their name in the Alliance. Toward the end, it is also extremely important to note that the player encounters a group calling themselves “Warriors of Darkness”, who are in-league with the Ascians. It comes to light that they hail from one of the divided worlds, that their world is in terrible danger, and they believe the path to survival comes from confronting you.

A trailer for this arc can be viewed here.

STORMBLOOD

One of the antagonists we encounter forces the Alliance to involve itself in freeing Garlemald’s conquered territories, namely the nations of Ala Mhigo (largely Middle Eastern) and Doma (East Asian). In undertaking this task, the hero comes into repeated conflict with Garlemald’s crown prince, Zenos yae Galvus. Zenos is basically a serial killer with the resources of a prince but no actual investment in being a prince. It’s pretty wild.

A lot of this plot focuses on the consequences of Garlean rule. Over time though, it comes to light that the founder of Garlemald was a high-ranked Ascian and is still very much alive.

A trailer for this arc can be viewed here.

SHADOWBRINGERS

The plot set into motion with the Warriors of Darkness resumes as the player is forced to travel to their home world. Dealing with a setting on the brink of Armageddon, this current arc has a ton to do with examining different perspectives while getting much clearer insight on lore metaphysics. Most notably, we finally learn why the Ascians act the way they do and discover more about the nature of the player character and Hydaelyn.

I’m aware this is vague, but honestly this is my favorite of all the expansions/arcs so far. Seriously it is fucking killer.

A trailer for this arc can be viewed here.

YOUR PROTAGONIST/THE CHARACTER CREATOR

The main character of Final Fantasy XIV is known as the Warrior of Light, regardless of whether you play from the Legacy version of the game or A Realm Reborn. Similar to the Dragon Age games, in Final Fantasy XIV you get to design your own main character and shape their identity to varying degrees through the story. Some people like to imagine their protagonist as existing within a completely different role in the world of Hydaelyn for roleplay purposes (so not a Warrior of Light), but that involves essentially disregarding the main quest scenario narrative provided. It’s fine to do that of course, but I’m going to be explaining things that essentially fit within the canon approach.

There are currently eight playable races for the Warrior of Light. These include hyur (human stand-ins), elezen (elf stand-ins), roegadyns (orc or giant stand-ins), miqo’te (cat people), lalafells (dwarf or gnome stand-ins), au ra (tiefling or draeni stand-ins), viera (female-only bunny people at the moment), and hrothgar (male-only lion people, the beast race).

Each race option has two subraces attached. The most dramatic differences between subraces come up for hyur, where there are Midlanders (shorter and slighter frames) and Highlanders (taller and beefier/curvier). Otherwise it’s more minor differences.

It is common for players to develop their own personal interpretations of who their Warrior of Light character was before the story begins and how that impacts progression. This can be shaped by what race they belong to and what lore is attached to that race according to region. It is also possible to shape things according to which of the Twelve (Eorzea’s pantheon) the Warrior of Light worships. These deities are loosely described and made available for selection at the beginning of the game.

It isn’t unusual for people to pick names in-keeping with lore. A good site to turn to for this is over here, although there are also spots that go into what different names actually translate to. Other people just go with whatever they feel like. I think I saw someone named Cheese Whiz once.

Stat variation is pretty negligible between races, and it’s mainly an aesthetic/tonal choice. Currently there is some pressure on game developers to make Viera and Hrothgar playable for male and female gender options both, and it seems likely that at some point this will happen. Currently there are indications that the release for Viera and Hrothgar was somewhat rushed due to some behind-the-scenes circumstances, so while they are less versatile than other options this is likely to change at some point.

As someone who is a sucker for character customization, I want to mention that while it might be easier to get some of the fantasy races to fit a particular ethnicity--Final Fantasy actually does a great job in terms of visual versatility and has made it possible to hit a wide range of options well. For example, it might be easier to make an East Asian au ra or a French elezen, but you can easily break with that in totally believable ways. You might not have the precision adjustments of Dragon Age: Inquisition or Bloodborne, but the options presented are pretty flexible.

In terms of how the Warrior of Light works through the game, again while there is some wiggle room there are certain aspects to their identity that stay pretty consistent. They get jaded and worn out by the narrative as time goes on, they experience loss, they become increasingly chatty and sarcastic. They have powerful neck muscles from years of communication by nodding. Commonly, the personality of the Warrior of Light is also influenced by the job they choose.

THE JOBS

Something I wish got explained to me early--you only get certain jobs as options starting out, and any others you hear about getting added are only accessible at higher levels. In Final Fantasy XIV, basically when it comes to combat you start with a very basic class, which graduates to a job (better versions of the class) when you fulfill certain requirements.

There are notably three main roles a combat class or job can fall into. These include tanks, healers, and DPS. Tanks are responsible for leading the charge, provoking aggression, directing mobs, and enduring attacks in groups. They don’t deal the most damage but have the highest defense and are generally right in the thick of the action. Healers can deal damage but their main purpose is to keep themselves and everyone around them from dying, especially in groups. At the moment all of the healer jobs use magic. DPS (Damage Per Second) are the jobs that are mainly responsible for taking chunks out of the enemy’s health. Within DPS there are additionally three subcategories, these being Melee DPS (non-magical and close-range), Physical Ranged DPS (non-magical and fighting from a distance), and Magic Ranged DPS (magical and fighting from a distance). There is also a limited job and Crafter/Gatherer classes, but I’ll get to those later.

Some DPS jobs, additionally, focus more on playing support to other party members while others are geared toward boosting their own damage output.

The classes you can choose from in the character creator include:

Gladiator (Tank, Sword and Shield)

Marauder (Tank, Axe)

Lancer (Melee DPS, Lance)

Pugilist (Melee DPS, Fists)

Archer (Physical Ranged DPS, Bow)

Conjurer (Healer, Wand)

Thaumaturge (Magical Ranged DPS, Staff)

Arcanist (Magical Ranged DPS, Tome)

At level 10, if your armory system is unlocked (you need to complete a quest for your starting class NPC mentor to do this) you can approach an NPC in Limsa Lominsa to unlock the Rogue class as well. This is a Melee DPS class and uses twin daggers. If your character starts with Marauder or Arcanist this takes less time.

To graduate each of these early classes into a job, the following requirements need to be met:

Paladin (Sword and Shield): Requires Gladiator level 30, Conjurer level 15.

Warrior (Axe): Requires Marauder level 30, Gladiator level 15.

Dragoon (Lance): Requires Lancer level 30, Marauder level 15.

Monk (Fists): Requires Pugilist level 30, Lancer level 15.

Bard (Bow): Requires Archer level 30, Pugilist level 15.

White Mage (Wand): Requires Conjurer level 30, Arcanist level 15.

Scholar (Tome): Requires Arcanist level 30, Conjurer level 15.

Black Mage (Staff): Requires Thaumaturge level 30, Archer level 15.

Summoner (Tome): Requires Arcanist level 30, Thaumaturge level 15.

Ninja (Daggers): Requires Rogue level 30 and completion of quests Sylph-Management and Cloying Victory.

I’ll describe these in more detail in a bit, but there are waaaay more combat jobs than this. Currently the others are:

Dark Knight (Tank, Greatsword): Requires having purchased the Heavensward expansion and having completed all of the Seventh Astral Era Quests up to Before the Dawn, which is needed to unlock the city of Ishgard. This job starts at level 30.

Gunbreaker (Tank, Gunblade): Requires having purchased the Shadowbringers expansion and having a Disciple of War or Magic job at level 60. This job starts at level 60.

Astrologian (Healer, Star Globe): Requires having purchased the Heavensward expansion and having completed all of the Seventh Astral Era Quests up to Before the Dawn, which is needed to unlock the city of Ishgard. This job starts at level 30.

Samurai (Melee DPS, Katana): Requires having purchased the Stormblood expansion and having a Disciple of War or Magic job at level 50. This job starts at level 50.

Machinist (Physical Ranged DPS, Firearm) Requires having purchased the Heavensward expansion and having completed all of the Seventh Astral Era Quests up to Before the Dawn, which is needed to unlock the city of Ishgard. This job starts at level 30.

Dancer (Physical Ranged DPS, Chakrams): Requires having purchased the Shadowbringers expansion and having a Disciple of War or Magic job at level 60. This job starts at level 60.

Red Mage (Magical Ranged DPS, Rapier): Requires having purchased the Stormblood expansion and having a Disciple of War or Magic job at level 50. This job starts at level 50.

So total, right now the jobs include 4 Tanks (Paladin, Warrior, Dark Knight, Gunbreaker), 3 Healers (White Mage, Scholar, Astrologian), 4 Melee DPS (Dragoon, Monk, Ninja, Samurai), 3 Physical Ranged DPS (Bard, Machinist, Dancer), and 3 Magical Ranged DPS (Black Mage, Summoner, Red Mage). Total is 17 jobs. When I describe these combat based jobs, I’m not going to focus on the actual gameplay aspect because frankly I don’t know how to play all of the jobs. This is gonna be a quick and dirty explanation based on the scientific approach of “idk that’s just my impression”.

Paladin: You are a holy knight and you can heal a little sometimes maybe (???) and you are very good and noble with great defense.

Warrior: You are a beserker who loves to release your inner beast and kill shit in really violent ways and are kind of a badass and do the most damage of the tanks.

Dark Knight: Super super edgy and kind of magical but also straight up crazy, you hate corrupt authority figures and are willing to get your hands dirty and darken your name in order to protect others. One of the most beloved job questlines.

Gunbreaker: You have a sword that is also a gun and you can shoot people with it, soldier style. Basically if you have ever fantasized about having a knifegun this is like that but better.

White Mage: Very pure, focused on nature and communing with elemental beings, all about that land/sea/sky thing with ties to the elements earth, water, and air. One of three magic traditions that got involved in a next level magic fight, this one stemming from the city of Amdapor. Amdapor is full of fungus and poison spores now.

Scholar: Takes a highly intellectual spin on magic with ties to weird geometries and so forth, figured out how to summon fairy familiars from aether. Does a lot with shields and preventing people from taking as much damage in the first place. One of three magic traditions that got involved in a next level magic fight, this one stemming from the city of Nym. Nym is a floating city and is basically hovering in ruins now, with any surviving residents having been transformed into tonberries. Tonberries are little green creatures that like to stab people.

Astrologian: A fortuneteller take on magic that combines tarot cards, astrology, and crystal balls. The idea here is that Astrologians are messing with fate and time in order to heal you, sort of undoing damage. Snazzy dressers, intimidating moveset.

Dragoon: Jumpy people with spears who struggle to live down their legacy of animation lag-related deaths, my understanding is that today’s Dragoons do solid damage and are decent at survival. Their reputation, however, is that if someone is going to die in a fight it’s probably them. They are very broody and like to hang out in high places with capes billowing in the wind. They also wear spiky armor and fight dragons and have the soul of a dragon. People make jokes at their expense a lot but with affection.

Monk: You punch people to death and get gauntlets of varying levels of sharp. You also get to master chakras and go through forms associated with different animals. In a series like Final Fantasy where people carry swords bigger than they are, you’re the job that said lol who needs that and made your body the weapon.

Ninja: Very very sneaky, used to be sort of a state-sanctioned criminal. If anybody is a spy it’s you. You are very fast and can basically turn invisible and sometimes smoke bombs go off. Mudras are used and I don’t understand.

Samurai: Deal a solid amount of damage and are very flashy and cool, probably one of the highest damage outputs for Melee DPS. Very neat and fancy katanas.

Bard: Draws a connection between the strings of a harp and the strings of a bow, is able to both shoot the crap out of enemies, make enemies more vulnerable with some songs, and make allies more powerful with other songs. I think Bards are very pretty and fancy.

Machinist: These are tech nerds who realized that guns are an option. So are flamethrowers. So are robots. This job has a reputation for being ungodly complicated to play but this has apparently been rectified recently.

Dancer: Similar to Bard in that they do a lot to boost allies in a fight, do lower damage as a result but damn do they boost their allies. Also have ridiculously swanky outfits and are super flashy in fights.

Black Mage: The edgy magic users, they are disciples of Eorzea’s death god and all of their magic ties into destruction. If you wanna make the biggest explosions Black Mage is where you go. Magic ties to fire, ice, and electricity but primarily puts focus on the shift between fire and ice. Black Mages also have a reputation for being involved in demon summoning because they were kind of the assholes in that magic war against White Mages and Scholars. Black Magic as a discipline has ancestry in Mhach, which is of course now crawling with demons. Black Mage is the DPS king in the sense that if you want the biggest numbers of damage dealt, this is where you go. They are however tragically slow and squishy so expect the Black Mage to be somewhere between standing right where an attack will land or dodging frantically between spells.

Summoner: Has the ability to summon small familiars in the form of defeated primals, these being namely Ifrit (fire-based), Titan (earth-based), Garuda (air-based), Bahamut, and Phoenix. Apparently their questline is covered in Ascians too. One of two DPS capable of raising fallen allies.

Red Mage: Very fancy, fast-moving swordsmen covered in ruffles. The founders of Red Magic were Black and White Mages who came together in the wake of that magic war mentioned above. They essentially work to balance Black Magic and White Magic alongside physical attacks. They don’t get the numbers of some DPS but are again extremely fast and are also capable of raising allies. Versatile.

The limited job is called Blue Mage, currently being lamented because it’s unable to fight in dungeons or main quest situations to the extent of other jobs. Blue Mage gets abilities by fighting monsters and learning magical abilities from them. They use a cane and are massive dandies who will hopefully get the opportunity to do more in the future.

If you want to actually make in-game money without blood sacrifice, you want to get involved in a Crafter or Gatherer job. These don’t deal with combat but instead let you acquire, develop, and sell in-demand resources to other players.

Gatherer jobs include Fishers, Botanists, and Miners. Crafter jobs include Carpenters, Blacksmiths, Armorers, Goldsmiths, Leatherworkers, Weavers, Alchemists, and Culinarians. I am not good at these and so can’t explain them properly, but some people do play the game exclusively so they can level these jobs. I think that besides getting mad cash, this is probably because Crafters and Gatherers also get to make really fancy houses and get very pretty clothes with their vast amounts of wealth, skill, and resources.

THE SETTING

There are three city states that, at the start of A Realm Reborn, comprise the Eorzean Alliance. Your character becomes a hero to the Eorzean Alliance before any other nation. The three nations are Ul’dah, Gridania, and Limsa Lominsa. Ul’dah is a desert city (someone mentioned it being Byzantine), ruled by a Sultana, and watched over by the dual-aspected god of death and commerce. Gridania is a forest city (to me it looks Western European but unsure?), ruled by a spiritual Elder Seedseer, and is watched over by the nature goddess Nophica--her will embodied in the form of spirits called Elementals. Limsa Lominsa is an ocean city (Greek influenced, although some territories read Caribbean), ruled over by an Admiral, and is watched over by a sea-goddess.

Ul’dah is a major trade center and known for having a solid amount of crime and corruption, harsh wealth divides, huge reverence for the dead, and general canniness. Gridania is super spiritual and has massive reverence for the forest and maintaining both it and the boundaries necessary to co-exist peacefully with Elementals. Limsa Lominsa is literally pirate town and have the most kickass military/naval fleet ever.

Depending on what job you choose in the character creator will effect which of these three cities you start out in. It’s ambiguous where the Warrior of Light comes from so conceivably you could be a native to that city state or a foreigner from somewhere else. It mainly matters in terms of if you’re making a story up for your character or not.

Another city state is Ishgard (technically Eorzean but isolationist), which has parallels to Norse mythology, France, and the Catholic church. It is covered in snow and full of mountains. Ala Mhigo is also a city state, and while like Ul’dah it is also a desert environment this one seems to place higher emphasis on different regions within the Middle East and India. One part looks strongly reminiscent of the Dead Sea, for example. Idyllshire was formerly a territory of the nation Sharlayan, which dedicates itself to the scholar-god. However, Sharlayan up and bailed when Garlemald showed up so that whole city got evacuated.

Those city states are all based on the continent Aldenard. Garlemald comes from a continent called Ilsabard that we haven’t gotten to see yet. It’s supposed to be cold and shitty there. Also worth mentioning, Garleans are on the one hand atheists and on the other hand borderline worship their emperor.

Othard is the Far Eastern continent and represents Asia. The two main city states we’ve seen there are Kugane (Japan) and Doma (China). There are other nations in the surrounding areas that we know about as well but haven’t explored. Both Kugane and Doma worship entities known as kami, omnipresent spirits who appreciate treasure and sometimes play a role in manipulating the fates of mortals. There are also animal spirits who through wisdom and longevity gain power and the ability to change form. These are called auspices. Special shout out to the Azim Steppe of Othard as well for representing Mongolian tribes and a plains environment.

There at least two other continents around but we don’t know a lot about them yet. One is The New World and draws from pre-Columbian North America. The other once housed a nation called Meracydia that opposed the ancient Allagan empire.

Shadowbringers takes place on a world called The First, which is one of the fragmented realities split by Hydaelyn. This world is called Norvrandt. It parallels Hydaelyn in some ways but not others. The desert environment of Ahm Areng geographically resembles the red deserts of the Southwestern US, but the architecture doesn’t match. The Rak’tika Greatwood is an A+ perfect jungle setting and heavily modeled after Mayan civilization. Eulmore kind of reminds me of the idea of pre-French Revolution excesses surrounded by poverty but with almost neon circus aesthetics married in. Il Mheg is rainbow fields and glassy lakes and fae creatures fucking with you 24/7. Very pretty and art nouveau.

The Tempest is full of secrets.

THE COMMUNITY

People focus on different things in this game. It’s huge enough to make that extremely doable.

One group involves the combat-focused players. These are people who just want to take on content labeled Extreme or Savage and beat it as smoothly as possible. Very talented bunch but tend to be short tempered sometimes, also often can’t wrap their heads around people playing any other way.

Glamour hounds are people who are in this for the A E S T H E T I C S. They want their characters to look a very specific way with certain gear in certain colors and god damn it if they have to run savage to achieve their goals they are going to do it. Often also are very into exciting mounts and housing, will frequently do artsy screencaps and share them online.

Lore hounds are people who focus mainly on the main quest scenario, overall storytelling, NPCs, setting, metaphysics, etc. Some of these people just want to analyze and make predictions. Some are independent fan creators. Some are roleplayers.

Worth noting--the most active roleplay communities are on the Crystal server, on the worlds Balmung and Mateus. My understanding is that these worlds are pretty packed and come with their own collection of pluses and minuses. More drama and a high likelihood of being ambushed for erotic RP, but fun community storytelling too. You can absolutely join servers outside your geographic location, by the way.

I’m on Primal server. It’s pretty chill.

Crafters, gatherers, and gamblers as far as I can tell are out to get top tier gil and fabulous prizes. I think some just honestly like the process too tbh and it happens to pay swimmingly. By the by, yes there is an in-game casino.

Last major group off the top of my head is the people who are mainly, specifically there to hang with friends and otherwise socialize with the game as a medium for that.

OKAY BUT I FOLLOW YOU SPECIFICALLY, WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE CHARACTERS YOU KEEP REBLOGGING?

EMET-SELCH

He is an Ascian who showed up fashionably late, would rather be napping than villaining around. Massive troll and also responsible for single-handedly making the fandom care about Ascians after four arcs of apathy. Secret sad boi. I am omitting a bunch because he’s basically a walking spoiler, but someone once described him as having absolutely relentless theater kid energy and I have yet to see it put better than that.

ELIDIBUS

Another Ascian known as the Emissary. Talks more about balance than ZODIARK!!!??!!!?11111!! and sometimes tries to have conversations instead of fistfights. Is not as good at having conversations instead of fistfights as Emet-Selch but is significantly better at it than Lahabrea, who will be described next. Elidibus is notable for spontaneously adopting a child and then passing that child off to the heroes as discreetly as he could.

LAHABREA

The third major Ascian and the first recurring one players meet in A Realm Reborn. Lahabrea seems like he is probably a few screws loose, fucking loves to blow shit up, embarrasses all of the interns who get stuck with him, and spent years in charge of PR before his colleagues realized that was a mistake. Makes very poor life choices. Apparently he used to be a fantastic orator and was praised for his imagination but these talents have since been replaced by ZODIARK!!!??!!!?11111!! and explosions. Has been described as an idiot by Emet-Selch and “unique” by Elidibus, who needed to take a very long pause before saying so.

G’RAHA TIA/THE CRYSTAL EXARCH

Honestly this is only pseudo spoilers, basically everyone figured out who he was well before Shadowbringers got released. Catman is currently doing battle with another character called Haurchefant for the position of #1 fan to the Warrior of Light. Has some wild misadventures with you that involve exploring ancient ruins, excessively long fetch quests, clones, and getting sucked into a demon world. Later runs across time and space to save your life but kind of almost gets you killed in the attempt. Says he is very sorry for this later. Just doing his best.

NERO TOL SCAEVA

A scientist who fights with a massive hammer, formerly worked for Garlemald but finds himself unemployed later. Is better than the engineer Cid, who gives you all your tech. He is also a troll, an egomaniac, and fucking hilarious. It takes a while for the extent of this to be revealed because A Realm Reborn still had some issues.

AYMERIC DE BOREL

Basically in charge of Ishgard, for a while literally but now only mostly. A very reasonable authority figure, runs the the Warrior of Light across several countries when you get injured in battle then chills at your bedside. Thinks you should relax sometimes. Encourages this by taking you to dinner once.

ESTINIEN WYRMBLOOD

Broody Dragoon McAngst of Ishgard, fucking hated dragons for the longest time because they murdered his whole family. Goes on an extended journey with you and in the process reveals he also hates moogles with a burning passion. Chills out a lot later, has demonstrated he is in fact a real bro.

YSAYLE DANGOULAIN/ICEHEART/LADY SHIVA

Delusions of grandeur and good intentions, also chosen by Hydaelyn and possessing The Echo. Figured out she could use her possession of The Echo to literally become a primal without losing her mind or body. Wants peace at any cost and will kill shitloads of people in the name of peace. Morally questionable but an interesting lady. Disagrees strongly with Estinien about moogles.

HAURCHEFANT GREYSTONE

Name sounds like a sneeze, is currently fighting G’raha Tia for the title of #1 fan to the Warrior of Light. Apparently there was an event where he said he wants the Warrior of Light to be his pony, as in he wants to ride you. Has shirtless men doing squats in his office. Saves your ass when shit gets real for Heavensward and then saves your ass again when the Pope’s bodyguard tries to murder you. It does not go well.

ZENOS YAE GALVUS

Absolute serial killer who feels like you complete him and give his life meaning and are his BFF. Probably wants you to fuck him. Also the crown prince of Garlemald and has spent years trying to engineer situations that will produce someone who can actually fight him as an equal. Doesn’t give a fuck about most things but jesus does he go yandere.

FRAY

If you become a Dark Knight, Fray becomes your NPC mentor and basically takes the Warrior of Light on a journey in becoming batshit insane. 10/10 Best teacher hands down.

SOPHIA THE GODDESS

A primal who I love to pieces, basically shows that the only way you can have perfect balance forever is if you are literally dead. We know this because the song that plays during her fight is about her murdering an entire family because they were unstable.

SRI LAKSHMI

Another primal who I love to pieces, just full throttle lotus eater in action where she encourages you to go fuck everything and be happy. Super pretty.

SEPHIROT THE FIEND

One of my top fav primals, pure id and distorted Kabbalah. I have a lot of feelings about him and have analyzed his fight to pieces.

CENRIC ASHER

Lol he just my Warrior of Light. I have a story for him but it is not official or anything.

THE FIVE BILLION OTHERS

Probably other people’s characters! I just really love seeing what people come up with, whether it’s their version of the Warrior of Light or going full-throttle into OC territory. It’s really refreshing to me, seeing how passionate and inventive people get. ^^ There are plenty of other important NPC characters, some I would even consider favorites of mine, but I just don’t post them as much.

IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR JESUS CHRIST GET YOURSELF A COOKIE OR SOMETHING. GOD DAMN.

#final fantasy xiv #final fantasy xiv screenshots #final fantasy 14 #ffxiv #shadowbringers

[rosapeachhogwartsmystery]

Jealousy is a Disease (Hogwarts Mystery Imagine - Merula Snyde x Tulip Karasu)

Masterlist  (To view my Masterlist, visit my Tumblr page)

Words: 2.7k

Pairing: Merula Snyde x Tulip Karasu, fem!reader x ??????

Warning: Bad/sad ending, cheating is involved (Sorry, I love Merula x Tulip, but I just had this idea >___>’)

Summary: Tulip knows she has gone too far this time. She knows she won’t be able to fix this anymore. If she just hadn’t been so jealous, she wouldn’t have been in this mess. She knew it was her fault their relationship ended.

_______________________________________________________

It was in the evening. Most of the older students were still in Hogsmeade or on their way back to the castle. The castle was quiet and not many students besides some prefects were walking around the castle. Two students entered an empty corridor. They both seemed to be quiet, until one of the two pinned the other against the wall…

“What were you doing, Karasu?” She hissed at Tulip, looking into her eyes.

Tulip frowned and tried to avoid eye contact with her. Maybe she had actually gone too far this time… She should have been more careful when she planned this. She hadn’t thought about any alternative outcomes.

“Well? Are you going to explain yourself or are you just staying silent?” Merula asked seriously.

Tulip slowly looked into Merula’s eyes, noticing how hurt she looked. Yes, she was certain she had gone too far now. She had never seen Merula giving her that look before. She just wanted to make a point…

“I see… It’s pointless.” Merula muttered when she was about to walk away.

“Wait..!” Tulip said, quickly grabbing Merula’s hand and made sure to look her into her eyes again. Tulip only felt more guilty and then she took a deep breath. “I can explain it to you… Please, don’t walk away now.”

______________________________  

“Wow, the two of you are almost together for a year now.” You told Merula when you were working together with her during Potions class. “Are you going to do anything special for her?”

Merula smirked. “Well, obviously I am going to do something special for her.” She said honestly. “Although, I’m not sure what I could do to make it special.”

“Do you two have a special spot somewhere around the area? Like some place you often go to?” You asked.

“Hm… Well, we did go often to your brother’s study in the castle… Although I don’t think that would be a great spot for a date.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so either… It’s pretty dusty in there and the place gives me the chills sometimes.”

“That’s not too weird considering the circumstances…”

“Anyways, is there another place you two enjoy spending time with each other?”

“Well, there is this place nearby the Black Lake…” She said when she was thinking about it.

“That could be romantic.” You smiled, but stopped when Professor Snape walked over to you both.

“Miss Snyde, miss Y/L/N, I would suggest less chatting and more stirring….” He said seriously.

“Sorry Professor.” You both said when you both began focusing on brewing the potion.

  ______________________________

 Tulip was staring at Merula and you when she saw you two entering the Great Hall together… Again. This wasn’t the first time she had seen you two together this week. It was like you two have been together for the entire week. Why were you spending so much time with HER girlfriend? Sure, she knew the two of you were friends, but you two seemed to be spending more and more time together. She even caught you two having some sort of inside joke. Was Merula starting to like you more than her? Would you actually steal her girlfriend away from her?

“What’s with the face, Tulip?” Tonks asked when she looked at Tulip slightly confused.

Tulip quickly looked at Tonks and then she gave her best friend a smile. “It’s nothing…”

“Yeah, right.” Tonks said, not believing a single word she said. “So, are you going to tell me what’s up?”

“Don’t you think it’s weird Y/N and Merula are spending a lot more time together lately?”

“Well, they are friends, aren’t they? I mean, friends sometimes spend a lot of time with each other. Or maybe they are just busy with some Curse-breaker thing together.” Tonks shrugged.

“Don’t you think it’s too much time…?”

“What?”

“Don’t you think they are spending too much time with each other?”

  “Oh… I get it now.” Tonks smirked. “You are jealous.”

Tulip’s face flushed slightly. “What? I’m not jealous. I’m just saying it’s a bit odd to see them spending so much time together.”

“Come on, Tulip. Do you honestly think Y/N would steal your girlfriend away from you? Or do you believe Merula would just do that to you?”

“Well, I don’t know Tonks, would they?” Tulip rolled her eyes a bit.

“Why would Y/N do such a thing. That’s definitely not her style.” Tonks said honestly.

“Didn’t Penny say Y/N had a crush on someone?”

“And you think Y/N would have a crush on Merula…? Come on, Tulip. Isn’t that a bit farfetched? I mean, she never showed any romantic interest in Merula before.”

“Well, she is bisexual.” Tulip said seriously. “That’s what she told us all.”

“Yeah, during a game of Truth or Dare and I was the one who asked her that question, remember?”

“I do remember, but it would technically be possible for Y/N to have a crush on my girlfriend.”

“I still think you are overthinking this. I don’t think Y/N has a crush on Merula.”

“Well, then I’m going to find out who she has a crush on.” Tulip said.

“Oh Merlin…” Tonks muttered to herself.

  ______________________________

 “Do you think this will be enough? Should I think about something else?” Merula asked you when you two were sitting at the Three Broomsticks, discussing the surprise for Tulip once again.

“Well, you bought a nice gift she would definitely like. You figured out what her favourite food is and we found the perfect spot for you two spend time together during your one year anniversary. I doubt things we forgot something.” You said honestly. “All you need to do is to find a way to get her there on the right time.”

“Yeah, the invitation.” She said and then she thought about it. “I suppose I can figure out how to lead her there on my own. Thanks for the help.”

“It’s not a problem. I’m glad I could help you two out. You two deserve to have a fantastic date together, especially for your one year anniversary.” You smiled.

“Well, let’s hope she will think the date will be fantastic as well.” Merula said honestly. “I’m pretty sure she will be happy with the effort I put into planning it, but the execution has to be perfect as well.”

“As long as you have everything, I don’t think a lot of things can go wrong.”

“Let’s hope you are right.”

“Just be confident and everything will be fine.”

“Maybe you could also use some of that confidence to ask your crush out.” Merula smirked.

You blushed and rolled your eyes. “I’m working on it.”

  ______________________________

 “Finally, a Hogsmeade weekend we all spend together!” Tonks said with a grin.

“Yeah it has been a long time since we have last done that.” You said with a smile.

“So, where do we all want to go? Honeydukes? The Three Broomsticks?” Penny asked.

“I was also thinking about Zonko’s Joke Shop.” Tulip said with a grin.

Merula rolled her eyes with a smirk. “I’m not surprised.”

“Well, I’m also looking for some new pranks, so I’m.” Tonks said with a wide grin on her face.

“I’m also not surprised about that.” Penny laughed softly.

“What about Gladrags Wizardwear? I definitely saw some interesting new clothing line in there.” Andre suggested. “Or Spintwitches Sporting Needs?”

“Well, I suppose having a look at the Quidditch supplies might be nice.” Charlie said with a shrug.

“I would like to have a look as well.” You suddenly said.

“Are you finally trying out for the Quidditch team, Y/N?” Andre asked?

“I’m considering it.” You said, giving a small smile.

  “Since we all want to go to different shops, I think it would be a good idea to meet up at the Three Broomsticks in an hour or so.” Penny said honestly. “I mean, we could go to all the shops, but that might take too much time and we definitely should have a Butterbeer together at the Three Broomsticks.”

“That’s a good idea, Penny.” Rowan said with a smile.

“I can’t wait for the Butterbeer. It’s definitely a good thing to do together.” Barnaby said with a smile.

“Yeah, and if we want a big table, we probably should be there somewhat early.” Ben said when he thought about it.

“So, we are going to shops we like and then meet each other at the Three Broomsticks in an hour.” Penny repeated for the group with a smile.

You all nodded and went in small groups to the shops you wanted to go.

   ______________________________

Tulip and Tonks had bought what they wanted from Zonko’s Joke Shop and were walking towards Honeydukes together.

“Well, we definitely can come up with some master plans with these new items.” Tonks said with a grin.

“Oh, yes, we will come up with brilliant pranks together.” Tulip said, smirking slightly when she looked at the items she had bought. She had been thinking about pranking someone in particular….

“So, who do you think we should prank?” Tonks asked. “It could be fun to prank these boys who told Filch about our prank before we could even finish it. What do you think?”

Tulip noticed Andre, Charlie, Merula and you were entering Honeydukes from afar. She could see you talking with Merula again and it definitely frustrated her.

“Tulip…?” Tonks called, wondering what Tulip was thinking about.

“Huh? What?” Tulip said when she looked at Tonks.

“Never mind, we can talk about it later.”

They both made their way to Honeydukes and entered the shop as well.

 “It seems like we are not the only ones of our group here.” Tonks said with a smile when she saw Andre, Charlie, Merula and you as well.

“Yeah, it seems like that indeed.” Tulip said and she quickly began looking at you and Merula.

You were blushing when Merula whispered something to you and you shook your head a bit. Merula just smirked and whispered something else into your ear again, looking even more amused. From the angle Tulip was looking at you two it seemed like Merula was giving you kiss.

Tulip didn’t like this one bit. Maybe you weren’t the one who was trying to Merula from her. Maybe it was Merula who was trying to charm you instead. Whatever was the case, she was going to get back at you both.

“Hey Tonks, can you come here for a moment.” Tulip asked seriously.

“Sure…?” Tonks said, looking a bit confused. “What’s up?”

“I need you to play along with me for a moment, okay?” Tulip said, giving a mischievous smile to Tonks. A mischievous smile Tonks didn’t like…

“Play along with what…? You are scaring me a bit, Tulip…”

“You worry too much, come on.”

  You looked around the shop for a moment and noticed Tulip and Tonks standing somewhere. You looked a bit confused when you noticed the uncomfortable look on Tonks face and this mischievous smile on Tulip’s face. “Uhm… What’s going on with Tonks and Tulip…?”

Merula blinked when you said that and then she looked into the same direction as you were. “Something is going on…”

  “Just play along, okay?” Tulip said when you both were looking at them. She cupped Tonks face and then she placed a kiss on Tonks’ lips.

Tonks immediately jumped back. “What the bloody hell, Tulip?!”

“Shh… Calm down Tonks… It’s just to make- “

  “What the hell are you doing Tulip?!” Merula stormed over to Tulip and you slowly followed, trying to keep Merula calm.

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Snyde.” Tulip muttered.

“Do you think I am stupid?! You kissed Tonks!” Merula yelled and then she turned to Tonks. “And you, why did you do nothing to stop her?!”

Tonks held her hands up in defence. “How was I supposed to know she was going to kiss me? I didn’t know what she was going to do.”

“You could have done something to stop her! You knew something weird was up! I could see it on your face!” Merula yelled.

“Merula, calm down a little. I’m sure there must be a good explanation for this…” You said calmly.

“Oh, shut up, Y/N Y/L/N…!” Tulip yelled at you. “You are also a part of this.”

You looked surprised when Tulip said that. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t act all innocent. You and Snyde both know what is going on!”

  Charlie and Andre decided to walk over to the four of you and they both looked really confused.

“What’s going on here?” Charlie asked.

“Why are you fighting with each other..?” Andre asked.

“Tulip kissed Tonks!” Merula yelled when she looked at the two boys. “And she is blaming Y/N and I for it.”

“Maybe we should move this outside the shop…” Andre said when he noticed people were giving them weird looks.

Tulip and Merula agreed and then all of you walked out of Honeydukes.

You and Tonks looked even more confused, both being a part of their fight. Tonks had some idea why this happened, but you definitely had no clue about it.

  Once you were outside, the fight between Merula and Tulip continued. They were both yelling at each other. Merula occasionally yelled at Tonks and Tulip also occasionally yelled at you.

“Why don’t you explain what is going on? I mean, Tulip wouldn’t just kiss Tonks without reason. Maybe she was dared to do so.” Andre said, trying to find some explanation why Tulip kissed Tonks.

“Simple, because Snyde over there decided to kiss Y/N Y/L/N over there.”

“What?” You looked even more confused.

“What the fuck are you talking about?! I didn’t kiss Y/N! Why would I kiss Y/N when I am dating you?!” Merula yelled.

“I don’t know, you tell me!” Tulip glared at Merula.

“I didn’t see Merula kissing Y/N either.” Charlie said honestly.

“They weren’t that far behind us; we would have seemed it if she did.” Andre said, raising an eyebrow.

“Then why was Y/N Y/L/N blushing so much then? Did she confess her love to you?” Tulip was still glaring.

“Why the bloody hell would Y/N confess to me when she fancies Charlie!?” Merula shouted.

You turned red, looking pretty much embarrassed because Merula had revealed who your crush was.

  Charlie turned slightly red as well and then he turned to you. “You fancy me…?”

Merula paled a little when she realised she had revealed your secret in front of your crush. “Oh shit… Y/N…”

You ran away in embarrassment, not wanting to deal with this now.

“Y/N!” Charlie called after you.

“What are you waiting for? Follow her!” Andre said when he slightly pushed Charlie into the direction you went to.

Charlie nodded and then he ran after you, once again calling your name.

  Things between Tulip and Merula were quiet again. Tonks and Andre looked at each other and then they shook their heads.

“I think I have had enough for today…” Tonks muttered. “The next time, don’t use me as a way to get back at your girlfriend…”

“I suppose I should tell the others we won’t be able to drink Butterbeer with the whole group.” Andre said with a sigh.

Both Tonks and Andre walked off, leaving Tulip and Merula alone.

   ______________________________

 “Bloody hell, Tulip….” Merula muttered when she heard Tulip explain everything to her. “If you had a problem with it, why didn’t you say anything...?”

“I don’t know… I was afraid…” Tulip said honestly, looking at the floor again. “I was afraid to hear you would rather be with Y/N than with me…”

“No… Y/N was just helping me plan something for you…”

“You… you were planning something for me? But why? It’s not my birthday…” Tulip looked confused.

“No, but our one year anniversary is coming up…”

Tulip’s eyes widened and then she paled. “Our anniversary…”

“Yes, our anniversary. We almost are one year together… At least… I’m not sure if we-”

“I would want to stay together with you… But I understand if we have to take break after what I have just done…” Tulip said honestly, looking down a bit more.

Merula sighed and then she held Tulip’s hand. “It’s not that I don’t want to continue our relationship, but… I don’t know how to feel about what just happened… So perhaps a short break might be in order… Just to figure out what to do next.”

“I’m sorry… I wish I hadn’t been so jealous…” Tulip whispered and then she gently pulled her hand away from Merula.

#Harry Potter Hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery imagine #imagine #merula snyde #tulip karasu #merula snyde x tulip karasu #jacob's sibling #nymphadora tonks #charlie weasley #andre egwu #penny haywood #rowan khanna #fem!reader #Female reader #fem!rowan khanna #ben copper #barnaby lee #bad ending #sad ending #jealousy

[onigirishawn]

slim shady

Hey guys! This is my first imagine on tumblr , I’ve had some experience writing in Wattpad. Feel free to share some writing advice if you have some! Enjoy :)

Summary : You’re a university student finishing up your final exams. During a celebration party in a bar, you get a lil’ too drunk which catches Shawn’s attention.

-

YOUR POV

“Here’s to the end of exams!” , Me and my friends cheered as we clinked our glasses filled with beer to celebrate. We drank the beers down and my friends didn’t hesitate to ask for more drinks.

I was in my final year of (your choice of degree) and I couldn’t be happier to finally finish up. Uni life has been great but I was finally more excited to quit the books and see what the future holds. I promised myself to savor every moment the tonight holds. Everyone will be going in their separate ways soon... and so would I. I took down another glass of beer and finally a few shots of vodka with my friends before finally taking a rest from my thirst hunt. The alcohol kicked in instantly.

“Y/N, Y/N! There’s a karaoke spot up next!” My friend Bethany said while pulling my wrist and bringing me towards the stage. I hear my friends cheer for me as I was about to take my spot. Oh god. At this point of intoxication, I seriously couldn’t care less about what anyone thought of me. Besides, it was a pub! People get drunk all the time.

I took my stand on the stage and grabbed onto the mic as the lights glared into my eyes, blinding me.

“Alright, hi guys... my name is Y/N, uhmmmmmm.” I started to giggle, “I’ll be singing uh....” I looked over to Bethany who screamed, “Slim ShadyyYyYyYyyY!!!!!!”

The Real Slim Shady? By Eminem? Who starts rapping when they’re drunk? Oh, That’s right. Me. You see ever since I started uni I’ve always had a good talent in rapping, something I never really thought I even had. My friends would always challenge me, to which I never really failed at. Pretty cool huh?

The audience were surprised with the song choice and clapped in anticipation. As the beat started to play I looked over to the tiny television provided. My body started to move to do the beat. As I rapped along the song so smoothly. Earning some ‘ooo’s and applause from the crowd by every perfect line I rapped. I was surprised myself to know that the lyrics were already instilled in my head, giving me the confidence to show how cool I was on stage. (Well that’s what I thought)

Eventually the song came to an end and I huffed my last line, smoothly. I earned the loud applause from the crowd and the ‘rap queen’ title by some strangers I walked passed. I cringed a lil’ at the comment but I gladly accepted it.

“Wow Y/N I knew you were a real rap queen.” Bethany said as she hung her arm around me. My group of friends came to me , cheering as I simply laughed at their compliments. My mouth grew dry from my performance. “Alright guys, I’ll meet you guys at the table, just let me get a drink. I’m thirsty.” I said and my friends nodded, I walked over to the bar.

“Hey Y/N. What a performance! Didn’t think you had such talent. Drinks are on me, what are you feeling?” I smiled at the bartender I know well, Dylan. “Thanks Dylan, but really, I’ll just have some water.” Dylan laughed and nodded. Walking over across the bar to get some water. He came back in a few seconds and I downed one whole cup.

“Impressive performance.” I hear a stranger say in my direction. I looked over to my left to find a guy two seats away from me. He had messy curls and had a single strand of curl falling onto his forehead. He wore a blue button up with a few buttons left undone that gave a lil view of his chest. His sleeves rolled up which revealed a few tattoos. I was taken aback, this dude is hot! 🤩🤪

I simply smiled “Thanks. Just a lil challenge my friends gave.” I said confidently . I heard him chuckle and watched as he ran a hand through his hair. He pulled out a hand, “I’m Shawn.” I giggled and shook his hand, “Y/N.”

“So Y/N why are you here alone?” He asked nicely as he took a sip of his whiskey.

“Nah. My friends are over there. But now as a celebrity I deserve some much needed privacy and time alone.” I said as I lifted my empty glass.

Shawn just laughed and I lifted a brow, again, my confidence taking over me, “So handsome boy what brings you here alone?” Shawn was taken aback by my comment (Fuck Y/N you’re so dumb)

He grinned instantly, “I’m staying here for a few days. Thought I might enjoy the nightlife this city has.” I smiled, “Well I hope you’re enjoying it.” I commented.

“Oh boy, I already am.” He laughed as he looked into my eyes. I started to blush.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I immediately took my phone and mouthed a “Sorry” to Shawn and took the call. He simply nodded and understood my excuse.

“Y/N don’t you dare come back to our table or leave that bar!” I hear Bethany say sternly.

“Whu-whu-why??” I say drunk and confused.

“That’s Shawn Mendes you’re talking to dummy!” She screamed into the phone. My eyes immediately grew large, trying not to show my shock to Shawn , who was still looking at me. “Uhhhh alright I’ll get back to you later.” I said and immediately hung up.

I looked back at Shawn and have a nervous giggle. I knew who Shawn Mendes was, why the hell didn’t I recognise him at first?! ‘Handsome boy’ geez what was I thinking he probably had a girlfriend. But even I wouldn’t know that. I face palmed my face as I grew red. My intoxication was growing less.

I shook my head and I immediately thought to myself , who cares who he is? I liked this guy. He seems down to earth and I was having a good time with him.

“Uh Y/N you alright?” I hear Shawn ask, concerned. I shook my head. “Nah I’m good.” I said and smiled at him. “Hey.. I don’t wish to split you up from your friends.. but would you like to get out of here..?” He asked , indicating a hand to the door behind him.

I thought twice , “What exactly are you thinking of doing Shawn?” I asked with a raised brow. I knew where I stand, if this man was just some guy trying to hook up with me just because I’m drunk, I’d just be turned off.

“Oh no, no sorry I didn’t mean ‘that’. Just a stroll around this place. Maybe grab a bite. My treat?” He offered with an open hand. I folded my arms and smirked, “What makes you think I’d simply get out of this place alone with you without thinking you’re a murderer?” I asked. He laughed , “Well...I’m Canadian.”

I giggled, “Very funny.” I said and walked past him out of the door. He looked back, smirking at me as I walked to the door. “You coming or not boy?” I asked. He got off his seat and took his jacket from his chair and left with me.

‘Don’t bother coming back to the bar. Stay safe and tell us all about it tomorrow xx ‘

Bethany texted the second I left the bar.

I rolled my eyes and put away my phone. I breathed in the cool air of the city, it was late and it felt almost empty.

Shawn walked beside me, “So Y/N what do you do?” .

“Hm? Just a uni student finishing up my last year.”

Shawn nodded and looked down on the pavements , I turned to ask , “What about you?” As if I don’t know already.

“I sing.” Was all he said.

“That’s it?” I asked. “Yep, nothing much to it.” I nodded, despite the fact that I knew who he was, I found it interesting how he tried to keep it low-profile.

“So you’re here to sing?” I ask. “Yeah..nothing much.” I laughed at the times he mentioned, “Nothing much.”

Breaking the growing silence, I turn to him, walking backwards , “Alright Shawn. You have the city and you have me , your trusty tour guide, where do you wanna go?” I ask.

“I’m not too sure.. do you think if we just stroll around the streets we might come across something..cool?” Shawn laughed. “Well aside from rapists, kidnappers and theifs that could be walking within us right , we might come across something cool at this hour.” I joked. Shawn laughed and simply nodded.

As we walked down the streets, we kept chatting, I told Shawn all about my degree course I was taking and he listened intently. We talked about his family, and I almost forgot who he really was and how famous he was. He just seemed like a regular guy.

-

“Hey that’s what I’m talking about!” I said and pointed at a local diner. “This place has cool music trust me. We’ll have the jukebox all to ourselves.” I opened a door for Shawn and lead him to a table.

“But first , we eat.” I said and smiled. Shawn laughed , “Right. I’m starving.”

Me and Shawn took our orders and spent sometime chatting. Laughing about some stupid jokes. As I tried to finish my meals, I catcher Shawn staring onto me. I at him as well, as I sipped my milkshake. I laugh, “Like what you’re seeing?”

“I don’t know.. I think I do.” Shawn said as he took a sip of his milkshake too, not breaking his gaze. I started to blush.

An idea popped in my head and I immediately exited the booth, rushing over to the jukebox and inserting some coins to play a song, it was a retro cafe, so I played ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’.

I walked to Shawn, extending a hand for him. Shawn immediately took it and I brought him near the jukebox , where an empty space was available.

He asks, “Care to dance?” I took his offer and we started swaying our hips to the song. As the song went on, I didn’t realise how close me and Shawn had gotten. His hands were on my waist and my hands wrapped on behind his neck. We just stayed there and we kept laughing at each other whenever I accidentally stepped on his foot.

Shawn was looking deep into my eyes and so did I, as the song came to a closing end he whispered, “You are one of a kind Y/N. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“I’d have to say the same about you too Mr. Stranger” I said back. Earning him a smile. We continued dancing throughout the night.

And that’s how it all started.

-

Hi guys that’s the end of my first imagine! Hope you guys liked it. 🥰

#shawn #shawnmendes #shawn mendes imagines #imagines #first meeting #shawn imagines #mendes army

[smoresmoresmore]

Will edit later

I just have to say

I was possibly exposed to Rabies and came to Tumblr for help and advice and was THOROUGHLY AND DISTURBINGLY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE RABIES TAG.

Omg

I was convinced I was going to die and searching anything Rabies related was UNHELPFUL AF. Not judging but y'all did not help lol.

Very long explanation of why I thought I was going to die:

Waking up to a bat (2 nights in a row) is not automatic cause to assume you will die but it is, I found out after talking to the Dept. Of Agriculture and their Epidemiologist, an immediate cause to go straight to the ER and get shot up with the vaccine and immunoglobulin so you DON'T POTENTIALLY DIE. It is not something the doctors can argue against and it is not something you should postpone. Especially since I was "under the influence" (Nyquil) at the time and even less likely to notice if I had gotten scratched or bitten. My being unaware was the key point in the urgency of going to the ER.

The ER doc was highly annoyed I knew just what to say ("I woke up with a bat in my face") and he grumpily admitted he was bound to follow CDC protocol. His annoyance was so obvious he repeatedly told me how unlikely it was I was bit and explained how "intense" the shots would be. I assume he felt the medicine could be put to better use on someone who was 100% sure and/or was injured. When I asked him what would happen to me if I WAS bitten and didn't get the shot like he wanted, he sighed and admitted "Well, you die."

"Well, shoot me up, doc!"

That night I got 7 shots. One in my arm, which hurt so bad--I guess because my nurse was new and may habe gone too deep because the subsequent shots I have gotten in the same arm haven't been anywhere near as painful-- and 6 in my buttcheeks. 3 in each.

Waking up from my Nyquil coma to a bat in my face was not fun. I had never related to those movie scenes of people screaming and running around afraid if bats. But jessuz. They are fast. And this one was swooping around my living room and deliberately getting super close to me. I had to hide under my blanket and in my fevered state this made me sweat. Trying to herd it to my now opened windows did not help. I tried to call police, fireman andnanimal control; the 1st two were useless and the 3rd was not open at 1am.

Eventually I reached out to my townie facebook group and got advice. White towels attract them. Or make it dark and quiet and hide--I did this as I was not going to run around with a towel in my undies like that video--which worked. 2 very concerned people urged me to go to a doctor.

"You say you have flu-like symptoms and a constant fever and you sleep in that room a lot. You really need to go to the ER. Rabies is so dangerous."

And after 2 nights of dealing with bats and my fever spiking right around the time they show up, I existed in a dark hole of stress. So much so that the second morning I woke up to my hand twitching erratically and my thumb muscle spasming and I started bawling. I had already gotten the shots the day before so I knew if I encountered anything rabid I should be okish (I still had 3 more to go before I was fully protected) but now, with my glitchy hand, I was panicking about "WHAT IF I ALREADY HAD IT?!"

Urgent Care had ruled out Strep twice for my odd sickness and had assured me I have a random virus and to just stay in bed for a few days. Which I had been doing faithfully, before getting bored and moving to my livingroom nest. I like to sleep in there a lot and often do when the weather is nice. I just made sure to drink water and tea and get sunlight and all the things. Including Nyquil. But my fevers were getting worse. I was feeling like crap. And now what we all assumed to be A Normal Virus was morphing into my worst nightmare.

Probably egged on by 101 temperatures, I called around until someone was willing to explaon to me whether I was dying or not. Getting told "You'll be fine. It is SO RARE," did not calm me down. I needed someone to explain how the long incubation period (months to a year) and symptoms (flu like, emotional, twitchy) did not match me.

I slept in that room on accident and on purpose since moving in almost 9 months ago. I'm a heavy sleeper and don't wake up easily. Iffff I had been bitten during one of my all-nighters doing math homework or essay writing, it makes sense I would suddenly get a random "virus" that isn't going away. I had it all worked out in my head. I was getting headaches in the sun and stores. I forced myself outside and out and about when I felt ok because fuck it if I was going to let this be a symptom I had. I was getting anxious in the shower but, knowing fear of water was a symptom, I forced myself to stay in it. (Turns out my paranoia was right. The water was starting to be hard and my skin was breaking out. It is very annoying. The timing was just horrendous)

All the doctors and nurses kindly told me I was safe since I had started the shots but no one had an answer for me when I asked if they helped if I hadddd it already. They weren't sure. The amount of information they have or are willing to share is astonishingly low.

After 2 hours of phone tag I was finallly able to get an appointment with an Infectious Disease Doctor. She told me that if I did have it there was no real evidence about the vaccine helping, especially since I had only had the first dose at that point. She told me it would be fast though and they couldn't tell until "you're foaming at the mouth." She asked to look in my mouth and when I told her about my drooliness she said to let her know if it got worse. She asked about my hand. I told her. She asked about numbness and I freaked cuz my arm did go numb at one point.

I askwd her about tests. I had read that there were a few--spinal fluid, spit, blood--that were not really reliable. She said since I had the vaccine and immunoglobulin in my system already they would show up and it would be pointless.

My only option was to wait. And chill. And try not to dwell on the fact that there is no answer or cure or way to find out if I should plan my trip to Oregon and die or if I should allow my boyfriend to visit me.

He was firmly in the You Don't Have Rabies camp and came over anyway to feed me soup and hang out. But I refused to kiss him. It made him very sad and probably extremely exasperated.

My boss was so done with me when he asked if I could come in the next day. "Sasha. You cannot have Rabies. Just come to work. You'll be fine." And I realized how crazy I sounded but I still warned all my coworkers.

Anyway, my lowgrade fever continued, my twitchiness stopped, my drooling stopped, my water was hard so I avoided the shower but cleaned my good bits, and once I doubled up my water intake my headaches disappeared. I went into a mini death spiral for a day but decided to force myself into believing I was fine.

When I started getting confused and fainty, I bought Iron supplements. When I started getting angry and anxious, I called my friends and got distracted. When it was time to get another shot, I made sure to update everyone of the weirdness Just In Case.

One nurse took the time to sit me down and listwn. That's really all I needed since no one had answers. I just needed my mind soothed and concerns not dismissed. She couldn't explain the muscle spasm but could definitely see why I was freaking out. She was the one who tested me for peace of mind. She looked into Lyme disease. She found my anemia. She explained that the amount of time that had elapsed made her sure I was going to be ok. She had watched people die in Africa from this and shw said it happens So Fast it is tragic. I would not be able to organize a trip to Oregon to die. I would become incoherent and slip away within days.

That was what I needed. A timeframe. A legit explanation of what it looks like and how it happens. And why I don't fit. This whole time I had been wondering how to tell my friends. Whether I could write all their numbers down in case I couldnt function enough to call them or remember my phone password. I was planning on cleaning my apartment so good so the landlord couldn't bash me when I was bouncing off the walls and hissing at him. I was deciding who I really needed to contact and who I could live without wasting breath on. I was planning a goodbye party. I told all 3 of my lovers ("´hey, I have this thing there is no real test for while you're alive but there is once you die so you can't get tested, and you may have it so got get shot up but no one is sure if that will help much," but I did tell them and it was hilarious to them. My favorite response being "RIP" and "F") And this all had put me in such a dark place that, coupled with a few shitty days at work with my bully of a manager, I also asked for a psych person to visit me after the Rabies shot.

After her talk I was like, oh. Thank godddd. And kinda annoyed at having to wait an extra hour in the ER for a talk that could wait til morning. But I chatted with rhem and asked for referral to a shrink since this had just highlighted how much I need help with my anxiety. Especially since the temporary issue of Rabies was being resolved but my cruel manager was still going to exist now that I was going to survive this beef with nature. It was nice to think of that way "my rabies beef is getting cooked" and the pscyh lady got me help. So that was nice. I just mainly needed to get healthy again so I could

I mean. Almostbarelybutnotreally facing a cruel death was a great way to look at life and reflect on some things. There are messes I am not at fault for, messes I avoid that I shouldn't, people and things I value and the objects that matter to me more than others for ridiculous reasons. I was so grateful to the staff for putting up with me. And for you for reading.

All of this just to say

Circle circle dot dot

Soon I get my last Rabies Shot

#rabies #cdc #cdc protocol #vaccines #vaccination #vaxxed #immunoglobulin #rabies vaccine #shots #medicine #bats #stress #i thought i was dying #and then tumblr happened #rabiosexual #rabidloving #feralgender #rabioromantic