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bengiyo · 4 months

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BL 2023 Review

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.

I Watched Too Much Again

Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).

One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.

I Wrote a Lot This Year

I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,

However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.

Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.

We Started a Podcast!

After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.

From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes, The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.

The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.

Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance

Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.

Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.

Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!

I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.

It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.

Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year

Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:

609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.

A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.

Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?

Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.

Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.

Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?

Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?

Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?

I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.

Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.

Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.

My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).

My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.

Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.

Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.

Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.

Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.

Korea Put in the Work This Year

I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.

It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.

Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me

I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.

As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.

Japan was Busy This Year

I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.

I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.

Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.

Where Were All the Uncles This Year?

Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?

Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!

We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.

Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.

Gay Thoughts

I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.

First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.

The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.

The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.

I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.

Final Thoughts

I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.

Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.

#Ben writes #best of bl 2023 #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #filipino bl #korean bl #ben watches

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sunnebeam · 2 months

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in the heart of the jungle.

A 'CITY OF LIGHTS' DRABBLE.

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

warnings: smut (18+), gangster squad au, mentions of mafia shit, flashbacks, domesticity, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), a happy ending yall :'>

masterlist + disclaimers.

note: i'm alive, friends!!!! 😭 sorry it took so long to post this but things have been hectic irl. i'll make a separate post about it but anyways here's the finale!! i can't believe this is the final drabble 😭 thank u guys for sticking around. hope u enjoyed this cute lil drabble series & don't forget feedback is highly appreciated <3

— previous – ain't no god on my streets.

"Looking for this?"

You look up to see an extremely attractive man holding up your bracelet. You don't remember taking it off.

"Thanks," you say, taking it from him, thinking you must've accidentally lost it earlier when you and Taehyung first arrived at the restaurant.

"Sure," he responds and you're about to head back to your boyfriend's table when the man decides to introduce himself. "I'm Jungkook, by the way."

You tell him your name but you don't leave it at that, intrigue making you want to see where your conversation goes.

"Say, Jungkook, I bet you got a good story behind that handsome smile of yours."

"Yeah, sure, I got some stories," he says, smiling smugly. "Let's see, I almost got kicked off a plane once. Slept with one of the flight attendants in the restroom but turns out she was the pilot's girlfriend."

He turns to you. "Are you weak in the knees yet?"

"Sure I am," you hum, staring at his silver watch and silver hoop earrings. "What's your racket, handsome?"

"Me?" He shrugs. "Well, I'm actually a Bible salesman."

He's so full of shit. But, he's hot.

"A Bible salesman, huh," you huff. "So you wanna take me away from all of this," you gesture to the fancy restaurant and the posh customers, "and make an honest woman out of me?"

He shakes his head.

"No, doll. I was just hoping to take you to bed."

You wake up with a start, the charms on your bracelet – the very same bracelet from your dream – digging into your wrist as you're clenching your fist with more strength than usual.

The reason? No other than the man behind you.

"Good," he says, his breath tickling your ear as he spoons you, "you're finally awake."

It takes you a heartbeat to fully register why you woke up but then you feel fingers moving in and out of you at such a pleasurable pace.

Three fingers, to be specific. And tattooed ones, at that.

"J-Jungkook?" you stutter, mind half asleep and half focused on the sensation.

"You're so wet, doll," he says, groaning when you clench around his fingers. "Fuck!"

You reach behind you, fully awake now, and grab a hold of his hard member. You pump it a few times before he finally gets the message.

"Lift your leg up," he orders, fingers pulling out of you. "Higher, doll– Yeah, that's it. Good girl."

You feel more juices dribble out of you with the praise and Jungkook takes full advantage of this, smearing them all over his painfully hard dick. You whine when he purposely nudges your clit with the head.

Finally, he pushes in.

You both moan, the feeling of being connected already so familiar yet it never fails to amaze the both of you everytime. You don't move yet, savoring the warm feeling for a few more seconds before you finally get impatient.

"Jungkook, please," you plead when you feel him twitch inside you.

Your lover complies without second thoughts, thrusting in and out of your pussy, languidly at first but then slowly picking up the pace.

You moan loudly, reaching behind you to place your hands behind his head and gently pull his hair. He grunts appreciatively before his hand reaches down your front and plays with your clit for you.

His thrusts become faster, his cock slipping out of you in between sloppy thrusts but he manages to put it back in before you could even cry in protest.

It's messy, sloppy, desperate, passionate.

It doesn't take long before you're creaming around him, pussy walls contracting to milk his orgasm out of him. He follows right after, painting your insides white and giving you all he's got.

You're both spent, panting, but he doesn't pull out right away, knowing you like it like this. Instead, he kisses your temple tenderly and hugging you close, knowing you like the closeness.

"I love you," he whispers freely.

"I love you, too," you respond just as freely, the days of hiding your love far behind you.

He grins before looking at the clock. "We're gonna be late."

You pout, making it hard for him to resist you when you ask, "a couple more minutes, please?"

It was all too easy for Jungkook to agree with your request. But in hindsight, the two of you should've known better because now, you're getting ready in a hurry, having lost track of time.

Your lover watches you as you're rummaging through your drawers looking for your bracelet, and it reminds of him of the very first night you met.

He remembers trying to charm you, but he most especially remembers you seeing right through his act. He remembers thinking you were way too good for him, so he kept telling himself it was all for the case and you were just a means to crack it.

But most of all, he remembers all that has happened in between, and he couldn't be any happier that this thing with you worked out in the end.

Jungkook shakes out of his daydream to hear you calling for him.

"Looking for this?" he asks you, smirking.

You turn to see him holding your bracelet in a pleasant sense of deja vu.

"As a matter of fact, I am," you respond, grinning and walking towards him. When you come nearer, he takes your hand and clasps the bracelet securely around your wrist for you before kissing your palm.

"Are you ready?" he asks you.

You nod, grabbing onto his arm as you leave your shared apartment to meet with the rest of his former crew for dinner.

It's been seven months since that fateful day. They managed to bring Taehyung behind bars with all the evidence they accumulated after months of investigating, but it was your detailed testimony that kept him locked and away. Geunsoo was honored in a tribute and was laid to rest. Finally, Taehyung's case and reign over the undercity finally came to an end.

Your testimony definitely helped with your involvement in the case and the accusations against you, but Jungkook and the guys also fought like hell for your innocence. In the end, it all worked out and you were finally free.

Free to live, free to love, and free to be with Jungkook.

Now, as you sit in the car with him on the driver's seat, you stare out the window and at the city lights.

The city is always beautiful any time of the day but for you, it's much more of a marvel at night. And as you stare at the blinking city lights before you, you think that things will finally be alright.

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strlingsav · 1 year

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Omg pls don't post my previous ask I meant to say part two to Yours 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 the breeding link one 😯🥹😮‍💨🥴🥴🥴

LOL no worries I got you 😉 Sequel to this 🫶🏻

Yours: Two

– Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Explicit sexual content under the cut. Read at your own risk.

It snuck up on you; moving yourself into Simon's apartment, the engagement, the wedding. It seemed to blend together, fragments of images and memories that stuck in your head. It was rushed, full of eagerness and excitement to move forward together. You never questioned where you were headed; there was always a looming feeling of certainty in your life with Simon.

You'd only been married a few days- still enjoying the aftermath of the private ceremony inside the nearest courthouse. Neither of you were interested in the gawking guests and awkward socialization. Simon had only just asked you if you wanted to be married, aside from your preferences for privacy, there was hardly time to plan anything anyways.

You stick the spatula under the doughy circle, flipping it over to the other side while Simon stands flush against the counter, enjoying the sight of you in his T-shirt. Your attention is focused solely on not burning your breakfast; brows furrowed, leaning forward and peeking underneath impatiently.

"You cooked before?" He teases. He knows just how to get under your skin, how to make your teeth clench.

"Yes," You shoot back, eyes narrowing at the expression of smugness on his face. "Your frying pan is shit."

"Think you just don't know how to make a pancake."

"If I didn't know, could I be doing it right now?"

"You're doin' somethin'."

"Do you even want to eat?"

"Debatin' on it. Might just skip breakfast."

"You're so dramatic," You roll your eyes, letting the pancake fall onto the plate. Handing it to him, you jut the plate against his chest. "Eat it. And like it."

His lips split into a grin, not unlike him once he truly trusted you; since you'd forced your way into the cracks between his walls, and seen the parts of himself he hid from everyone. You'd been lucky enough to have experienced it already, going on years, now, but it never failed to warm your insides.

There's silence, as he sets the plate down and readies a second for yourself. He's behind you, sifting through the drawer of cutlery, then stands back to sip his tea and watch you struggle to separate the pan from the dough.

"You wanna stay here?" His eyes shift to yours from the cup he's sipping out of.

He's nervous. It's unusual- he's never nervous. Not even when he's on enemy territory, or taking fire. But with you, the risk is there. He can't control you, instead, he has to wait with composure and a racing heart until you answer. The worst kind of torture, especially as it sits low in his gut, a sunken rock weighing him down while your eyes shift side to side. He's thought about this for a long time; wanted you, in every way possible, for a long time.

Your head jerks back with confusion. "I already am."

"Permanently. Get married and all that."

Your brow quirks up, lips curled upward in amusement. His nonchalance regarding the subject is admirable, given that you can see his chest rising and falling rapidly.

You scrunch your nose, ruminating on the offer for a moment- you like to keep him on his toes.

"Guess so, just don't complain about my cooking again." You threaten him with the spatula, your face softening with an affectionate smile.

He steps by you, a soft hand on your waist, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I can overlook it."

Of course, your cooking is always the furthest thing from his mind when he sees you, feels you. He'd never let you go, regardless of how shitty a pancake you make.

You'd agreed to a simple honeymoon, a bed and breakfast in a quaint town at the edge of a lake. He was on leave, a perfectly executed plan, giving you time for a vacation that landed you in a forested haven for a week.

It was serene, peaceful, offering a calm atmosphere you didn't quite have back home. In the centre of the city, with traffic and a heavy population, quiet was a rare commodity.

It was a small cabin, heated by a wood stove and decorated with knitted blankets. It was comfortable, cozy- isolated. The perfect place for two.

You'd spent the day reading in silence, appreciating the smell of crackling wood. Simon had asked to take you fishing, which wasn't something you were even aware he knew how to do. He'd revealed he was an avid hunter- another surprise. It was no secret now, why he'd suggested the rustic cabin away from civilization. Truthfully, he wanted you all to himself. No distractions, no interruptions, no obstacles; he wanted his wife.

You hadn't taken your eyes off the wedding band Simon had picked for you. It was foreign, the weight around your finger. You found yourself distracted by it a few times, catching your eye when you'd wash your hands or pour yourself a drink. It would force you to remember you were married now- a commitment that was heavy and binding. You'd attached yourself to Simon, legally, and though it was overwhelming, you'd grown to thoroughly enjoy the sight of the ring on your finger and what it meant.

His hands glided around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder. He watched from behind you, staring at the pot on the stove as you stirred slowly. His eyes were drawn to the ring too, and just how well it suited you. How well being his suited you. He was a bit thrown; he hadn't expected to be turned on by a damn ring.

"You feel like eating soon?" You turned your head a bit, watching him from your periphery.

"I do," He nodded. Innocent, though not quite. He had mischief behind his eyes, recognizable by the dilated pupils and glassy shine. "Been starvin', sweetheart."

His fingers were slow and menacing, a purposeful touch as he slid down to your jeans, hooking his thumbs inside the waistband to pull your ass against his groin. He sighed- strangled and painfully desperate. He pulled the button and zipper open without a second thought. A wave of heat crept over your body, expanding to reach your abdomen when his hands yanked your jeans down past your thighs, gently pulling your feet out of them.

"I meant dinner," Your voice faltered, a failed attempt at resisting his antics.

"'M lookin' at it."

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to the flesh of your ass, soft kisses that teased the unabashed bite he unleashed afterward. Teeth grazing the silky flesh, hands pawing at your hips as he angled you down, revealing the mouth-watering vision of your panties, clinging to the moist patch that was growing quickly.

He pressed his lips against your pussy, an action that made you gasp. His low groan didn't go unnoticed, especially not with how difficult it was becoming to concentrate on stirring.

He tugged your panties aside, his tongue gliding through you. His first taste was fucking heavenly, and he didn't think he'd be able to restrain himself. He gripped your ass now, tugging and pulling at you to allow for better access. He ran across your clit, a harsh lick that made your hips jump. His fingers were clinging to you so tightly, even the smallest movements were nearly impossible.

"Simon," You said, a weak warning. "I'm cooking- I can't- you can't eat me out right now." You almost laughed.

"Perfect little wife you are," He sighed, relishing in the undeniable possessiveness that drove his every action. "Let me enjoy it." He spared only a few moments before diving back in to press his face against you.

You could never resist his charm, especially not when his tongue was providing such pleasure; long, languid strokes over your clit that made your knees buckle.

You huffed, pushing the pot off the burner before turning around to face him. He hummed.

"There's my girl," He remarked, grabbing your thigh and hoisting it over his shoulder.

He buried his face between your thighs, fingers holding your panties aside while his tongue slid back against your clit.

"Cookin' make you this wet?" He asked, eyes peering up at you as he sat back for a moment.

Your hand came up to rest on his crown, a short nod and mhm, before you pulled him in to continue. You didn't have the mind to put up with teasing, he'd already half-finished the job, you needed it done.

A muffled chuckle made you shiver, even more so when his fingers inched their way inside you. Your head fell back, eyes squeezed shut as he curled them inside you, flicking his tongue with methodical vigour.

His lips mouthed at your clit, and your whole body shook, bursts of adrenaline shooting up your body from every pump of his fingers and caress of his tongue.

You blew air through a small parting in your lips, exhaling the growing impatience as he teased your orgasm. You teetered on the edge, not quite there but only a few moments away. Your fingers gripped his hair, tugging softly to release your frustration, though he didn't cease or pick up his pace.

You inadvertently lifted your hips to his face, begging for more. He never took the bait, always did what he wanted until you asked otherwise. He enjoyed watching you come undone on his tongue, and had memorized every movement necessary to see and feel it.

Your fingers were harsher now, no longer a soft grasp but desperate, wanting. So close to falling over the edge, it was almost irritating. You could feel it building, a tightness enveloping your abdomen, heat spreading through every limb until you felt like you were on fire.

Your lips parted, a whine- not quite a moan, but loud enough to catch his attention and make him exhale a quiet moan. You were almost there, and he gave a few more strokes before you gasped.

You had latched your fingers to his head, squeezing tightly as your body exploded with pleasure, grinding yourself against his nose and tongue.

"Oh God, Simon," You moaned now, appreciative of the effort he gave.

A thin layer of sweat dotted your brow, heart racing and panting while you recovered from your muscles tensing.

He stood to his feet, your eyes following his. His hands came to your hips, a delicate touch at first, before he pulled you closer, able to lift you onto the nearby counter with little effort.

His fingers dragged your panties down your thighs, rough hands clasping around the smooth skin of your calves. Your teeth pulled at the flesh of your cheeks, waiting with searing anticipation, nearly trembling with impatience.

He stood between your thighs, letting you lift the shirt off his torso. Your palms pressed flat against the muscular expanse of his abdomen, and his hands dropped to undo the belt and button of his pants.

"Got me rock-fuckin'-hard all the time," He grumbled against your neck, inhaling your scent with appreciation.

"So fuck me," Your hands met his, gently running your hand over his cock as you pulled his briefs down. His head dropped to your shoulder, lips lazily pressing against the ridge of your collarbone.

"That's a foul mouth you've got, Mrs. Riley."

You grinned.

He reached around to pull your hips closer, his cock pressing into the warm flesh of your pussy.

"Oh!" You exclaimed, your hand reaching his bicep to stop him. "I meant to tell you," You looked up at him, your next words were meek and cautious. "I stopped taking my birth control."

His brows furrowed. There were conflicting feelings inside him; unbridled desire, the overwhelming urge to plunge his cock inside you, uncaring of the consequences, and hesitation. It was real, now. The only remaining milestone was children, even more demanding than marriage.

He was apprehensive, not sure whether he was truly ready, no matter the circumstances. The two of you had built a secure life for yourselves, there were no unanswered questions or outstanding business that prevented any of it. The only real obstacle was his own feelings.

He knew what he was in for if he did happen to get you pregnant. He had no reservations about it, in fact, the image of you pregnant, with your shared child brought goosebumps to his skin. Motherhood would suit you, and you'd more than coaxed the paternal instinct from him. It was usually the only thing he could think about, a happy family for him to watch over, provide for. He was ready; it'd been sitting on his mind since before getting engaged, and he didn't want to waste anymore time.

"I brought condoms, in case you were worried. Not like I'll get pregnant right away, but if you're not there yet, I-"

He cut off your rambling with a kiss, pushing his cock inside you. A quiet gasp left your parted lips, and you reached for his shoulders, instinctually.

He thrusted into you, a few times, before settling against your hips. It was intimate, faces only inches from each others, limbs tangled together in a bubble of heat and desire.

"You wanna have my kid?" He asked, not quite disbelief but reaching for the answer he already knew.

"I do." It was genuine, undeniably real and true.

He hummed in response, inquisitive and teasing while he pressed soft kisses to the flesh of your neck.

"All you had to say," He answered. "Been waitin' to get you pregnant."

You flushed, cheeks burning and your womb igniting with a searing heat you'd yet to feel since he'd talked about kids once before, while inside you.

You'd taken it at face value then, reckless language during an intimate exchange, but now, you began to theorize that he truly meant it.

"Put a kid in me." It was mostly harmless, a teasing expression you didn't expect to get you anywhere.

However, your explicit words elicited a groan from his throat, his hips jerking forward. Hearing you say those words, while he was deep in the inviting warmth of your pussy- it made his cock even harder.

His head had fallen to your shoulder, gentle pants against your skin as he began to thrust into you.

"Yeah, sweetheart. Fuckin' hell. Let me give you a kid."

Your calves interlocked behind his back, arching into him to allow for better access. He had his hands on your waist, a bruising hold on you when his pace picked up. Your hand reached out, cupping the nape of his neck, wrapping the other around his shoulder in a desperate attempt to get closer, to let him into the deepest parts of you.

Your quiet moans echoed in his ear, spurring him on, pushing him closer to the edge with every roll of his hips. He could hardly focus with every breath that came out of your mouth, every whimper of his name, curse word.

He lifted his head to meet your eyes, poring himself into you with unending commitment, a promise, an oath.

Your lips absorbed his, tongues gliding together in a messy choreography. You reached a hand down to your clit, already wet with the spreading arousal from your pussy, and met his pace with harsh circles and grinds.

Your head fell back, hitting the wooden cupboards with a thud.

"Fuck, Simon," You moaned. It was loud, louder than intended, but it sent chills up your spine to hear yourself call out for him.

"Christ," He grunted, reaching out to cup your jaw in a desperate hold. "That's it, say my fuckin' name."

Your eyes shut briefly, overwhelmed by the lick of pleasure shooting up your spine, the dirty words from his mouth that made your climax inch even closer.

"Simon," Your voice was softer now, weak with the effort your mind was using to focus on your impending orgasm. Your body was rigid, tense with anticipation, and it hit you with gradual intensity.

Your lips fell apart, fingers digging into your neck, pulling him closer.

"Shit- fuck yes, baby." Your voice was low, guttural, begging and pleading for him to continue.

He choked back a groan as he felt your pussy clench around his cock, hardly able to resist the urge to cum- he wanted to watch you through it, give you his undivided attention.

You kissed him again- a thank you, haphazard and weak with your fragile state.

"Y'want my cum?" He asked, brows furrowing at he neared his orgasm. "Y'want it deep in you, love?"

You nodded, chest rising quickly against his. "Please," Was all you managed to breathe out.

"Fuck me," His eyes narrowed, an uninterrupted glare. "Take it," He said, teeth clenching.

He finished inside you, deep strokes turning to stuttering thrusts as he came down from his high. He exhaled through flared nostrils, eyes shutting momentarily as he relished in the warmth and softness of your walls, squeezing every last bit of cum from him.

"Bloody hell," He sighed, his eyes meeting yours, softening.

You blew out a breath, kissing him with a gentleness, a loving expression. He helped you from the counter, his hands on your waist as he returned your kiss with soft lips on your forehead.

"Not long in your sinful cunt."

You bit back a grin, pulling him in for a lasting kiss.

#cod mw2 #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost smut #simon riley smut #cod mwii #mwii #simon riley #strlingsavwrites #ghost x you #ask strlingsav

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softxsuki · 1 year

Note

Hey there!!

I just discovered your blog while looking for some comfort fics and I immediately loved your newest Hawks fic and I will definitely be checking out your Yona fics now!🥹🥹

I have an urgent request too actually but pls don't feel pressured or anything if you are busy!! I'm just having a really bad BPD episode at the moment and I have the urge to cut everyone I love off because I feel unloved by them and like such a burden to everyone and I feel like I can't handle the pain anymore..

Sooo therefore I'd like to request Drabbles/Oneshots (honestly fully up to you) for Hawks, Gojo and Lucifer (only if that's okay for you ofc!!🩷) with a reader who acts all cold and becomes more and more distant in their relationship and when they confront her about it she breaks down and admits that she did it out of fear that they were going to abandon her anyway and bcs she felt like they deserved better..?

I know it's very specific and I am kind of embarrassed to ask for it but honestly my fav characters are my only source of comfort rn and I saw that you do mental health requests/comfort fics and I thought it's the sweetest and most thoughtful thing ever!!🥲

So even if you won't write this for or can't do it "immediately" I wanna thank you for doing this for the mentally ill folks who get their comfort from fictional characters. You are a lovely person! 🥹

-🩷

Hawks, Gojo, and Lucifer (Separate) with Reader Who Tries To Cut Them Out of Her Life

Pairings: Hawks x Fem!Reader, Gojo x Fem!Reader, Lucifer x Fem!MC

Warnings: mentions of feeling like a burden, wanting to cut loved ones out of your life, unedited (excuse any mistakes)

Genre: comfort

Post-Type: headcanons

Word Count: 1.07k

Summary: In which you try and distance yourself from them and they realize and try to talk it out with you (Yeah ik I'm still bad at writing these summaries, I'm sorry 😢 😂 )

[A/N: HEY! Thank you so much for your sweet words! I'm blessed that I'm able to write things for people that provide them with comfort. I'm so sorry for the long wait, life has been crazy, but I managed to find the motivation to get this done today! I hope it helps. I know you were looking for oneshots or drabbles, but I only write headcanons when someone wants a request for multiple people, so I hope that's okay! Enjoy! I hope it provides you with a little bit of comfort if anything :) <3 Take care!]

Hawks:

He gets very petty and if you decide to avoid him, he won’t make the effort to force you to be in his presence, but ofc it does sadden him, he loves you and having you push him away and not reach out to him less and less, hurts

Until one day he grows impatient with your silence

What did he do to have you shut him out? Why were you doing this?

He needed answers and he needed them now, so get ready for him banging at your door and inviting himself in as soon as you open it a crack

Hawks is gentle with the way he approaches the issue, honestly he might think that he may have accidentally done or said something without realizing it that possibly hurt your feelings

So he begins with an apology and just asks what you need him to do for you to forgive him for whatever he’s done

You mean the world to him, so having you slowly push him away from you without any kind of warning makes him nervous…he can’t lose you

“I know I’m out frequently doing hero work, and I sometimes have to leave our dates if I’m called for an emergency. I’m sorry if you’ve felt like I don’t care about you because of these things. But I want you to know right here and now that I love you so much and nothing will ever change that. So please, let me into your heart, don’t push me away anymore Y/N…”

Once you tell him that you’ve just been feeling like a burden to him, he moves quickly to wipe those thoughts out of your head

Never once has he thought you were a burden and his love for you just seems to grow as the days pass

Moving forward, he tries his best to verbally express his feelings for you more often, as well as trying to find time to see you again if he ever has to leave for a hero emergency

From now on, you’ll never doubt his love for you–and please, just mention whenever you feel this way again to him, he’d love to talk it out with you instead of just having you push him away

Gojo:

This man gets so pouty when you decide to ignore him

But it doesn’t affect how much he sees you on a daily basis

He refuses to let you avoid him and will continue to stick by your side

He’ll annoy you with his presence everyday, until you lash out in desperation because as much as you tried to slowly avoid him he was always there

But he remains unphased through it all and continues to act like this idiot he is

He does however, decide to get a little serious and hear you out as to why you are attempting to push him away, when you already know you’re stuck with him for life

Gojo isn’t stupid, as much as he tries to avoid serious conversations, once you actually open up to him, he knows that it’s time to listen to you and be there for you.

So when he hears that you’ve been feeling like a burden to him, he patiently listens to you the whole time

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. If anything I’m probably the one who’s a burden on you. I know I can be too much sometimes, but I just want to make sure you’re always happy. I’m sorry for not realizing your feelings sooner, Y/N. I don’t know exactly what's going on in that head of yours, and even though I joke around too much you can always open up to me about all those complicated feelings in your heart.”

A rare, empathetic Gojo moment that you out of everyone else in his life gets to see, so it’s truly an honor

Be he wipes an insecurities you may be feeling away and gets to joking around again in hope that it helps lift your mood

He’d probably put his phone on silent from all the elder higher-ups trying to contact him and spend the day with you–after all you are the most important person in his life, he’d do anything for you

Lucifer:

Out of everyone else on this list, Lucifer definitely knows what’s up even by the slightest change in your mood or actions towards him

I picture him not caring that you’re pushing him away, he's still going to go see you every morning and wish you goodnight every night

Stubbornness doesn’t work on him. He’s been alive for too long to have things go over his head so he already can kinda guess what’s going on with you after avoiding him just once

Literally, he sense something is off so fast, and his pride won’t allow him to just leave you be so you hear him knocking at your bedroom door so fast; you didn’t even get a chance to properly try and avoid him NFJENAKF

So he gets down to business very quickly, asking you what’s been going on and what he can do to help you feel better

Don’t even try to play dumb and act like nothing's wrong by trying to persuade him that you’re completely fine–he will see right through all your attempts

Once he is aware of how you’ve been feeling, he’s almost offended

“Have I done anything to prove that I do not care for you anymore MC? I invite you to my room each night, I treat you with respect and as much love as I possibly can. I know I’m not always as open with my feelings in public, but we both know that if I didn’t care for you, I wouldn't give you my time of day. That would never happen though, I’m already in too deep for you and nothing can change that…not even if Diavolo himself commanded it.”

He’s a passionate man, and knowing that you felt like he didn’t love you anymore really bruised his pride.

Expect many romantic advances after this; private dinners at Ristorante Six (he’ll rent out the whole place for you), going to see plays together, late night walks in the devildom away from his chaotic brothers who won’t leave you alone, and much more

He’ll make sure you know he loves you at the end of every night, so be prepared!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 4/26/2023

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b4sorex1a · 2 months

Text

Soft I Scream —(English Translation)

Part I out of II “Barça Camping Smut”, Pedri González/Ferran Torres fic

Word Count: 5,5k

Summary: Because Pedri González always lets Ferran Torres do what he wants, even when it hurts deeply. They have sex in the camping tent.

CW: Rough Sex, Dom! Ferran Torres Sub! Pedri González, Rape Play, Non-Con, Fight Sex/Fighting Kink, Choking, Sexual Violence, Physical abuse, Smut, Dead Dove: Do not Eat, Consensual Non-Consent.

│❝Make me feel like I am breathing, feel like I am human❞ — The Neighbourhood.

Ferran Torres didn't really care much about being a celebrity. The club handed him a title dripping with greatness, elite forward. Despite his mindset built on determined phrases, the young athlete was like any man his age, entirely vulnerable to the greedy offering presented in Blaugrana contracts. But money in a debt-ridden Barcelona doesn't come easy or free, especially when the Catalan football entity belonged to the most corrupt league in Europe.

The administration found its goldmine in a group of attractive boys brimming with charisma, the players of the new post-Lionel Messi era. Hence, it was impossible to resist the promise of salary increases exchanged for some videos or interviews – the perfect mutualistic relationship between players and capitalist entrepreneurs hungry to push boundaries.

For these reasons, the noisy group of teenagers and adults found themselves playing around on the already paid-for travel bus. Shouts, laughter, insults echoed throughout the vehicle, even songs related to the trip played.

Ferran Torres hated the countryside; after all, he was a city boy. However, he enjoyed watching his teammates socialize happily among the comfortable seats of the enormous vehicle. Amid Lamine's laughter and Balde's jokes, complaints were drowned out, creating a light atmosphere filled with joy. The silly videos the youngest in the group showed to each member weren't that funny, but his laughter had a strange tone that made up for the childish taste in humor.

The Valencian finally headed to the back seats in search of a comfortable spot with a view of the window. The expensive journey lasted for many hours, so he impatiently sought his own corner among the characteristic red and blue carpeting.

He strolled down the aisle, ignoring Fermín's audacity, who was sitting at the back of the bus, almost devouring the lips of his boyfriend. He flashed a mischievous smile, baring his fangs at the blonde. This day truly evoked nostalgia for those school trips where hormones flourished in the air, overwhelming the adolescent bodies of the students.

Ferran glanced forward and locked eyes with a brunette girl sitting in the front seats, holding her phone. The social media admin, Ferran thought. He was alarmed when the female figure raised her phone to start recording the surroundings, a concentrated smile on her painted lips.

Being the good friend he was, he smacked his hand against the blonde-haired youth's head in front of him, who was completely lost in a passionate session of deep kisses with another guy.

—Fermín, dude, they're about to record you, wake up, —he whispered loudly but teasingly.

Fermín furrowed his brows as he separated from the other guy, dazed by the touches of the honey-brown-haired individual in his lap.

—Fuck, she's so annoying— impulsively came out of Pablo Gavira, whose toned arms were wrapped around the neck of the blonde. Pablo settled into the seat next to his partner, irritation stemming from being away from a much-needed physical contact he hungered for. His facial expression distorted, annoyance spreading.

Accustomed to the midfielder's piercing gaze, the admin ignored the death threats expressed by other eyes. Smiling, she pointed the flash camera at Xavi, who observed the whole situation with a serious and tired expression. The coach simply greeted in Catalan and returned his attention to the window, years of exposure to the press weighing on his shoulders.

Ferran found it amusing that the management insisted on bringing the coach on this trip. It was as if they had sent them a nanny in the form of a forty-year-old man with more stress in his body than is considered healthy.

With enough exposure to a hormonally charged couple for a month, the Valencian stepped back, moving away from Fermín and Pablo, towards the side, where he noticed a compact figure seated in a chair. Affability melted into his pink-cheeked face when he identified the identity of that mysterious silent person, the boy who entered to take the furthest seat from the others.

Pedri. Pedro González López. Pedri, lifelong. Adorned with his short, disheveled black curls and an oversized black hoodie, with a sun-kissed tan warmer than Ferran had ever witnessed. The midfielder played with the cord of his earphones, lost in the green view of meadows and cows displayed by the window.

Without thinking, the Blaugrana forward chose the perfect corner to spend the entire journey, one where he was accompanying Pedri in the corner of the vehicle, isolated from other curious looks and the girl bothering them with recording new content. His presence became noteworthy as he greeted Pedri with a surprise, his hand suddenly colliding with his muscular thigh.

—Hello— Pedri turned his head in surprise and shyly smiled, opening his space amiably to welcome Ferran.

—Don't mind if I sit here, do you?—he said, but he had already settled into the seat, a mischievous smile decorating his proud lips.

—Nah, if you don't sit, I'll be too lonely and look like a weirdo— he replied sweetly, years of friendship allowing the younger one to open up in the best social way.

Ferran moved his backpack beneath him and looked at Pedri again, waves of happiness coursing through his heart. His hand, claiming space on soft skin, hadn't moved from that leg, now comfortably settled there with no intentions of letting go of the pleasant sensation. Ferran remained seated with legs apart, arm extended to the side, leaning on Pedri's thigh, testing the limits of the midfielder.

It was a friendly game he liked to play too many times, relishing in stretching the boundaries of comfort for Pedri. He loved playing with the lines, knowing that the Canary Islands native would adapt to the new, uncomfortable structure. Because that was their dynamic – hungry, both figuratively and physically, pressure that Ferran exerted against the other guy.

His hand remained where it was, slowly caressing from the appropriate area, inching upward at a centimeter per hour. The voices, complaints, the sound of the engine, and Xavi's frustrated shouts faded into the background from that isolated corner, allowing the duo sitting there to concentrate on the presence they had between them. Everything exterior became blurry for those hidden youngsters in the corner, narrating a new promise of confidentiality.

The golden sunlight adorned Pedri's marked face, his eyes quickly turning vanilla in the exposure to the sun's rays. The shy smile lay on those pink lips, directed towards the Valencian, casual conversation settling between the two.

The high temperatures of the Spanish weather tormented the confined moving space, but the multi-million-euro-valued commitment kept the Barça players calm.

—It's so hot in here; we're cooking, — complained Torres.

Pedri emitted a little laugh.

—I don't think they can install air conditioning, huh?— Pedri replied calmly, shedding himself of the heat in his oversized hoodie.

Like the most torturous paradox, the midfielder folded and stowed his garment in some bag, then lifted the armrest, closing the distance to share a thermal touch of bodies. The canary's head rested on Ferran's shoulder, complete trust demonstrated through innocent actions.

Without the annoying seat divider in the middle, the brunette felt the need to adjust so that both could occupy the space more 'efficiently.' So, he woke up the younger one with a movement, firmly took him by the waist, and placed him on top, shifting towards the center.

An eager commotion sat in conscious uncertainty. Pedri looked at him uncomfortably in the new position, analyzing as if he were at Camp Nou. It was a charming phenomenon to witness the analytical anxiety of Pedri, who moved restlessly at the possibility of being discovered in a compromising position.

—Ferran...— the beautiful boy who sat with legs spread on either side reproached.

—I know, trust me,— Ferran decided to convey with confidence. However, in response, he received a skeptical Pedri trying to get out of that position.

—Stay still— an assertion came out more like a threat painted in a dangerous red, as he reached a hand to the midfielder's neck and pushed forward. The dark-haired one's head was hidden in his neck, unable to get a visually satisfying response, but apparently, Ferran already had one foot in the semi-open door, and Pedri remained static, sitting on his lap.

—Such a good boy, are you my good boy?— he whispered into his ear, leaning in to offer a friendly kiss on the cheek. The athlete withdrew from that space, scandalized.

—We're going to get recorded; let me sit down— he warned, a variety of unspoken pleas invaded his tone.

—But you're already sitting, look,— he pointed out, letting out laughs.

Pedri González wasn't in the mood for this banter, agitated in a thousand breathing rhythms. Ferran seemed to understand that, releasing his grip on the hands that rested on Pedri's waist.

Except that the Valencian's coldness under long lashes hit much harder than the warmth.

—Okay, if you're going to behave like this, I think Félix wants me over there— he casually pointed three seats ahead, where the pretty Portuguese was sitting.

The younger player lifted his eyelids instantly, panic filling his mind, agitation rising as he felt the body beneath him start to move away.

—No, stay, I want to sit like this— he pleaded earnestly.

Victory tasted like euphoria in Ferran's mouth, but as always, when the limits were stretched to the supposed maximum, he wanted to push them much further.

—Dude, don't mess with me; I'm not going to force you, move— Ferran insisted, lazily pushing the nervous guy on top of him.

Rejection tasted painful on Pedri's tongue; he knew the flavor of fear very well. Usually, he subdued it with calmness, but this was different. He didn't speak; the death of syllables came so easily when nerves traveled through his entire system. Like almost never before, he decided to resort to one of his most inconsistent tools – impulsivity.

He hugged the older one tightly, pressing his body against the other's. He prayed for Ferran's greater ignorance as he leaned against his lap, a guilty friction electrifying the air.

Ferran pushed him away, using his strong arms to encircle his neck, risk and insecurity settling into tanned skin.

—Mmnh... no, no— the canary denied, trying to remove those hands from such an intimidating area.

The punishment for innocent disobedience came in the form of hard slaps to Pedri's face. The first two showed no shyness, leaving temporary crimson marks on the younger one's cheek. The strong impact caused the dark-haired one to turn his face in pain.

With one hand threatening a jugular and the other free to assert dominance, Torres coldly eyed Pedri.

—Shut the fuck up.

Another blow, an extended hand applying upward force in several more slaps. Almost-silenced screams filled with pain were unheard outside of that corner.

—Why?— Pedri's pained expression lacked tears, but the emotion of betrayal unfolded, burning into his own flesh.

Immaculate white fangs appeared mischievous in the vexing curve of Ferran.

Another collision, drier, more painful – one caused by the bluntest part of Ferran's hand – was the fitting response. Pain surged like an electric current through the younger one's face, forcing him to twist while sitting, processing what was happening.

It wasn't a punch; it was something lesser, something more condescending, a warning like those given to disobedient little children. It was the perfect message to keep him in check, offering him his only role in that environment; one of complete inferiority.

Pedri was beaded with cold sweat, terrified in a state that struggled against submission, trying to devise a negotiating dialogue. Seriousness mixed with concern covered his entire face, the marks on his cheek turning redder, his heart racing at a thousand, swelling with adrenaline and cortisol. His survival-mode brain recognized the situation – Ferran was a bigger man, asserting dominance – the easiest evolutionary way out he developed since childhood smiled at him more and more.

To surrender, show his neck, and offer a pathetically curved smile. The values his family taught him, that conflict is never good, words are the key to resolving everything, tranquility is essential.

Hesitation only earned him another blow. One, two, three; the player number seven amused himself by impacting his hand, toying with the force. The last one detached from any shame or fear and collided brutally with Pedri's cheekbone.

His reaction was instantaneous, bringing his hand there while he wrapped himself in the unbearable feeling that expanded through his side.

—No, no, please, please, no— he could barely shout as Ferran's palm quickly covered his mouth, stifling the painful screams.

Pedri whimpered with that limb pressed against his mouth, eyes closed and brows furrowed, in need of a break. He was granted a pause, lying in Torres' lap, so he decided to hide again in his neck.

—You actually let me hit you— Ferran said into the air, stating it as a fact.

The midfielder's chest rose and fell interrupted and irregular. Torres finally relaxed, intrigued by the exciting paradox he felt in the lower part of his body.

He felt Pedri's hard cock, pressed against his own stomach.

(…)

The hours passed as the bus roamed through routes; the entire staff remained calm in emotions. Many were content with listening to music or checking their social media, while others slept peacefully. Ferran Torres gently stroked the small, toned back of a sleeping Pedri.

The Valencian diverged his gaze to witness the bold scene of Fermín emerging from the bathroom, with flushed cheeks, legs trembling with tics, and the facial expression only found on a satisfied man. Not even three minutes later, Gavi exited the same bathroom, resembling a disheveled prince, saliva spilling from his corner, teary eyes, and pure disorientation. The eldest of the group amused himself at witnessing Pablo's stumbles across the entire floor, completely out of it.

Ferran surveyed his surroundings again. The sun descended, and the sunset purples invaded the sky. The heat dissipated, and typical LED lights illuminated the entire bus aisle.

Minutes were left to reach the destination, and mentally, the camping gear already weighed on him. The work they would have to do on the unstable ground, at night.

A male voice snapped him back to the present.

—In ten minutes, we arrive. We've organized, and it's been decided that seat pairs will share camping tents for the night— Xavi shouted from the middle of the bus, capturing everyone's attention.

—I believe it's unnecessary to mention what's appropriate or not in a first division sports camp— Xavi shot a bit with his typical stern gaze at Pablo Gavira.

—Yes, míster.

Contained laughter echoed amid the silence of that confirmation. Torres shifted to make room for the male figure waking up in his grasp.

—Have we arrived?— Pedri asked, still half-asleep, his cheek slightly swollen from the earlier teasing.

Ferran gently touched the bruise, enchanted by the mark it left.

—Yes, we need to grab your stuff, come on.

With neutrality, they lined up at the front of the door; everyone was already eager to exit. The scent of nature and fresh air hit them positively. It wasn't often that they left big cities to admire views as beautiful as the ones in front of them.

In the sky, lights of various bright and dark colors moved, painting a starry picture of a peaceful night. The groups quickly divided following the guides' instructions. Alongside them were the photographers responsible for promoting this adventure on social media, and the cold flash light blinded the players every minute.

After a quick dinner consisting of fat-free chicken salads, Ferran noted that their tents were already set up. He read the small paper Xavi handed him minutes ago, trying to identify their designated area.

He surveyed the entire place, a path filled with rocks and uneven ground greeted him knowingly.

From afar, he could see the large red tent, where a minimum of three people could enter. His sleeping spot was far from the original zone, away from the other blaugrana boys, tall bushes covering most of the ground.

Surrounded by conflicting emotions, he turned completely around, investigating the whereabouts of his night partner. Pedri wasn't far; the dark-haired boy seemed a bit dazed, bathed in moonlight, backpack on and a black coat wrapped around his waist. His soft locks tousled to the sides and upward, offering a pleasing view to Ferran, who admired from not too far away how those big eyes explored the forest.

Pedri's hint of facial maturity didn't convince anyone at that moment; inappropriate thoughts of Torres likened him to a lost kitten that might jump at any moment to protect itself.

—Pedri! Over here!— he raised his hand, and Ferran's heart melted a bit as he discovered, for the tenth time, the soft and affectionate change of expression when Pedri recognized him.

The midfielder followed the rocky path to the secluded area, using the mobile flashlight as the main source of illumination. With instructions to unpack and sleep – according to Xavi – the night would pass easily, everyone resting to the sound of chirping crickets.

Ferran Torres had other plans for that night. Pedri dropped his backpack inside the tent and went out to accompany the culé forward, seeking company. This time, the cold wind danced across the sky, gently pushing the camping tent fabric, creating soothing sounds.

Both stood looking at the sky; the midfielder reached his hand to entwine it with the older's arm, relaxing his awareness, bringing his cheek closer to the other's worked biceps.

Pedri was shorter than Ferran, so his honeyed brown eyes looked upward, embarrassment easily settling in his chest.

—Qué chico más mono— Ferran whispered, —What a shame.

Questioning covered the atmosphere's sentiment for a few seconds; Pedri's affectionate expression vanished, replaced by a quickly-formed serious grimace. Ferran violently pulled the younger one's dark hair, intending to throw him to the ground.

He succeeded; despite Pedri's dedication to sports as a profession, he was ultimately a thin and weak boy. The midfielder crashed face-first into the ground, lightly staining his face with dirt.

Fear took residence in the canary's heart; he tried shouting for help towards the camp center, but it was futile. The punch to his eye left him dazed for several seconds amidst the rocks that hurt his muscles. His vision blurred, pain emerged from all sides, and tears threatened to surface.

In pain, Pedri brought his hand to the blow, babbling. There was no respite this time, and Ferran reveled in the dark purple color spreading across the younger one's eyelid.

Tingling sensations tickled his lower part as he observed the other's pathetic attempt to compose himself. The Barcelona 'Golden Boy' was lying on the ground below him, writhing breathlessly, covering his face with his hands, attempting to shield himself.

When he moved, a scared sound escaped from Pedri's pink lips, an instinctive reaction. Ferran used his leg to kick the flexed thigh of the younger one without measuring the force. A groan was heard, new dark marks emerging on the abused skin. The pain in the struck area allowed Ferran to see the terrified expression of the figure beneath him as he tried to cover his legs, exposing his face.

Deep sexual excitement ran all over Torres' cock as he delighted in the terrified view of Pedri, who had one eye narrowed and the other looked at him with fight; even even in the situation he was in. He took a hand to caress his member on top of the clothes, sending a disgusted look to the other.

Assuming that Ferran was distracted, Pedri managed to recover supporting himself by crawling, the ground of the floor hurt his hands and knees, but he still crawled in a pitiful way to escape.

When he walked away less than two meters, Ferran decided that it was a good idea to really chase him, since he found the painful attempt to avoid the inevitable very amusing.

He walked slowly but safely to Pedri, appreciating how the boy arched his back and how small his angular waist was from that angle. He drank from the sinful sight of the backside under the miserable canary's sports shorts.

—Where do you think you're going?— He expressed full of irony.

He closed his hand on Pedri's hair once again to stretch him towards himself, this time focusing on moving him in a more brutal way. Pedri held back a scream but began to whimper.

—I asked you a fucking question.

He wrapped his hand around Pedri's neck to push him back, letting him lie down on the floor. Once there, Ferran removed his coat and lifted the white t-shirt to the top of his pectorals, displaying the buttons standing on the culé.

—No! Agh!— He whimpered.

On the cold floor, Pedri González was agitated, with spots on his face and body, dressed in violence on his face, exposed to his stomach; he began to cry.

Ferran Torres' cock couldn't harden more than it already was.

Upon seeing the marked abdomen of the canary, the Blaugrana striker approached to give him a blow in the center, taking away his air at times.

He took advantage of those seconds to turn him on his knees and hands, waiting patiently for him to recover. When the crying returned little by little, Ferran aggressively stretched the black soccer shorts that covered Pedri. He used the fabric to handle the weight of the canary as he would like, lowering his underwear just because of the humiliation of exposing him in that way, and then releasing the elastic of the garment and leaving it hanging below his knees.

He hit the exposed buttocks of the midfielder with his palm, a small laugh escaped him only because of the theatrical, he fed on how bad Pedri could feel in those moments. The Valencian spat in his entrance that expanded and retracted to contact.

He took his two middle fingers to align with his entrance. He was perfectly aware that it was too much to put him in, but the thought that Pedri became miserable trying to endure the pain from interference made him dizzy.

He inserted both fingers at the same time into the salivated pink entrance, apparent difficulties when entering. Pedri crossed his eyes upwards and opened his mouth, failed attempts to breathe. The pain punctured all over its interior, the comforting thought of fainting came at times.

—I can't! I can't take it anymore! Why are you doing this?! Why don't you just kill me if that's what you want?— Pedri screamed with his shattered voice, loud enough to attract attention from afar. Ferran reacted quickly, withdrawing his fingers from the tight entrance, vaguely hearing approaching footsteps.

Dragging the canary's body by the neck, he placed him inside the tent. Adrenaline surged through him. He entered as well, zipping up the fabric door, surveying his surroundings.

Pedri resembled a deer caught in headlights, utterly bewildered, almost naked, lying on his stomach on the flat mattress. Ferran approached the submissive Barça player, his training and match companion since his debut in the first team.

—Quiet— he commanded. Swiftly, he removed the remaining garments from the athlete. An idea Fermín had recommended weeks ago crossed his mind. He crumpled Pedri's underwear and forcefully placed it in his mouth to muffle the screams.

Everything was going as planned until he underestimated how much fight the canary would put up. Something that felt like a metal brick collided with his face.

Pedri’s phone. Pedri had thrown his phone at his face, violently.

Anger boiled at maximum power inside and outside his entire body; finally, Ferran understood the phrase 'seeing red' as his anger blocked the calm and playful response he would have had in another context. The pain was sharp and electric, leaving a horrendous taste in the his mouth. Pedri, who apparently didn't think things through so clearly, sat covering his face while crying.

The Barcelona forward sucked all the oxygen from the room, inhaling and exhaling in an effort to calm the desire to strangle the younger one. Some minutes passed, the sound was noticeably absent; only Ferran remained fully dressed in sports attire, and Pedri, who refused to lift his head amidst his whimpering.

Ferran approached and separated the other's legs.

—Chaval, I just don’t get it, you practically try to kill me, but when I hit you, you get all horny and hard— he said, while directing his hands to Pedri's dick, massaging from top to bottom.

Crimson colors exploded all over the abused face of the canario, fear still latent in his dilated eyes. He positioned himself on his knees, moving away from the friction that Ferran gave him.

Pedri and Ferran looked physically battered from the fight, the striker felt blood fall down his nose but decided not to pay attention to that detail, Pedri on the other hand was caressed by the painful marks of previous brutality, his eyes were tired and an intense red color emerged from his cheeks.

Ferran decided that his favorite art was to paint purple and darkness on the sun-kissed skin of the boy who gave himself on his knees in a tent where no one would come to help him.

—You're like a bitch in heat, addicted to pain, eh? do you like to be hit? I'm going to fuck you up while I put my dick inside you— he slapped Pedri’s cheek again, with sickly softness.

—Mmhg, I don't want to, Ferran, please, let me go,— he begged all pathetic and drooling.

Torres walked his tongue through the trace of liquid enjoying Pedri's saliva, sucking until he reached his mouth, savoring his mouth abruptly. When separating from a union that he thinks could not be considered as a kiss, a line of saliva interconnects them for seconds.

—This is happening, I'm going to rape you anyway, so make the best of the situation and try to enjoy it— his diction was cruel, Pedri's empty look of hope confirmed it, he still nodded, accepting what was offered to him.

He excitedly handled the almost motionless body of Pedri, spitting in his face to remind him of his place. The confinement became heavy, the smell of sex was combined with that of nature, the wind entered through the grids of strong fabric and distant sounds of insects and other animals were noticed.

He placed Pedri on the floor like a puppy, positioning his body on all fours. His cock jumped at the sight of that small figure arched completely at his mercy. To violate him, he smiled when he licked the entrance, corrupting his privacy completely, sucking and kissed that area enjoying the mixed sounds of pleasure and shame.

He had to stop to remove his clothes. This day was one of the great reasons why he loved Pedri so much, the boy would let himself do anything, he could try to kill him and somehow the midfielder would affirm that it is his own fault, that he was provoking him to commit those actions.

The attractive Spaniard was there in front of him, delivering his body despite the fact that sex is not something he wants right now. Veins of excitement were throbbing in Ferran's thick arms, he loved that the important thing all this night is if he wants, what Pedri wants or needs is not a priority.

Pedri González placed himself in a position of inferiority, allowing violent injustices towards his body and spirit. Because that's how he was, in need of pleasing.

For that same reason Ferran pulled him by the back of his neck to stamp him down, keeping his hips up, and then arranging his foot on his head touching his cheek, applying pressure, crushing him. He used that impulse to support himself right in his hole, the fat tip of his cock would deliciously stretch the tight walls.

It didn't matter that it was painful for Pedri, or that it was uncomfortable, or that it was too much forcing him to faint, it wasn't the point of everything they were doing. Pedri didn't have to feel good.

His cock disappeared inside that warm interior, expanding and ruining the hole that his member ate. Ferran was sure that it would be completely ruined after sex, completely molded to the size of his own dick.

He waited several minutes when he entered completely, once Pedri’s body got used to it, he could assume an incessant rhythm to hunt his pleasure.

Pedri whimpered below him, babbling prayers that made no sense, destroyed and corrupted in his entirety.

He began to move, his patience returned the best prize, his cock slid deliciously, impaling the entrance in each thrust. His balls collided with Pedri's fleshy buttocks, the characteristic sound of a good wet sex came out of the isolated tent.

Pedri moaned sweetly because he was getting fucked so hard and he couldn't do anything to avoid it, just receive everything inside, cross his eyes sometimes and open his mouth to release dirty sounds.

He stood still introducing himself to be impaled whole while he was crushed, satisfied and painful expression mixed up.

—Does it hurt?— Ferran asked him between hoarse growls.

—Yes, yes, yes, ahnf, so much, it hurts so much—Pedri could hardly answer, feeling an incredible abuse towards his prostate.

Torres suddenly left his entrance, taking a look at the disaster that caused, Pedri's entrance could not be closed, from his sight he could see all the pre-seminal fluid that was inside.

—Come on, squeeze a little— Ferran spoke to humiliate Pedri.

—I can't, I can't, I can't, I need, I need— repetitions of thoughts and cries was the only thing you could hear coming out of the mouth of the Barça star.

I need your cock. And how can one blame Ferran Torres for his mentality when he has a boy so beautiful below him that needs his dick to be able to breathe, even if he doesn't say it out loud, because even his aroma was needy. Ferran gave Pedri the best wish, he put it to the bottom and did not stop at any time, even when the canary's legs began to tremble.

The tingling began to resemble intense cramps, so much that when the climax came, Pedri needed to cry; he only had the option of enduring an orgasm where he is unable to stop or establish a rhythm. The stretch of nerves intensified, the powerful electricity was due to the overflow, the midfielder stopped emitting sounds, only drowned air came out of his mouth.

—Are you going to cum while I fuck you in the ass? Good boy, cum just because of my cock— he murmured dragged, also losing control completely.

He felt below his foot Pedri nodding his head, unable to emit any coherent word, his brain fried in white when he reaches the peak of pleasure. The orgasm hits him like a whip for several seconds, he screamed low while jets of semen came out shot down several times.

Ferran came out of his entrance when he felt his climax coming, quickly settling down on his knees in front of Pedri's face, masturbating his cock abruptly until he stained the minor's entire face, sperm liquid on his lips, forehead, nose, up to a little in his hair.

Both men collapsed on the ground, covered with blows, fluids, a little dirt and new experiences.

Pedri lost consciousness and Ferran was too tired to clean them both, but he still reached for baby wipes for sensitive skin to clean his boyfriend, worrying about not hurting sensitive areas.

He kissed him on the forehead after cleaning the whole scene as much as possible, wearing him in comfortable pajamas.

—Pedri sweetheart, we have to stop roleplaying like this, you almost killed me this time— he murmured to his partner who slept peacefully next to him.

I love you, it was the last thing he thought before falling asleep next to Pedri.

(...)

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maxemilianverstappen · 9 months

Text

Tag game💃

Tagged by @il-predestinato which is a privilege 😎

rule(s): post a snippet (however long or short or longish or shortish) from a wip !!

This is from the 2022 season recap fic that has a twist to torment Charles more spice things up more:

"Ferrari's corner exit looks smoother and faster." Max was telling him in Bahrain, on the beach.

It was their off day between the testing and the race weekend; so, most of the grid was trying to enjoy their free time either at horse riding or golfing or by swimming.

The two of them had come to the beach separately, of course, but as soon as Max recognized him, he came over where he and a few guys from his team had been lounging. He quickly started up a conversation about the Ferraris while his friends left them alone to join Charles' group to play a ball game on the shoreline.

"We lack the Red Bull's straight line speed, though." Charles argued.

Max grinned at his claim. "I doubt that, but let's say it is so." He rummaged through his bag and found a bottle of sunscreen.

Charles watched him take his shirt off, remembering to turn his head away and not stare only when Max talked to him again.

"Even then, you have the talent to make up for whatever disadvantage you think your engine has. Cornering might actually make the difference and you have always been exceptionally good at it."

Wide-eyed, Charles looked back at Max in wonder. Thankfully, the other young man wasn't looking at him at all and instead was turning around the spray bottle in his hand as if he was trying to decide what to do with it.

It wasn't the first time Max had complimented his driving style and talent so openly like this, but it always hit home hard somewhere in Charles' chest and left him in amazement. He was glad he was wearing huge shades to hide his expression, because Max looked back at him in that instant and smiled a bit sheepishly.

"You think I'll need this?" He asked, clearly unwilling to put the sunscreen on as if it was too much of a hassle.

Blinking a few times at the unexpected question, Charles reminded awkwardly. "It is 34 degrees, Max. I think you need some."

Max made a funny face and swore under his breath, spraying some lotion on his arms and half heartedly spreading it on his skin. "I don't like the oily feel of this at all, but better than getting painful burns before a race weekend, right?" He was explaining as if to make it look less awkward.

Charles could only nod and mutter a "Yeah…", watching Max. He realized it was actually the first time he had seen the other man like this up close. Half naked…

What a way to put it. Half naked… Really, Charles? He cringed at his own way of thinking, but it was impossible to ignore the familiarity of their situation.

Max was so pale. He didn't have much hair on his chest. It almost looked silky smooth. Charles was mindlessly transfixed as his eyes followed the movements of Max's hand running across his skin. It was so hard to turn away and look elsewhere. "Don't forget your face." He pointed out to cover up how he had been rudely staring at the other man just now.

"Ugh, I hate this part." Max sprayed some of the lotion into his palm, closed his eyes tightly, and just rubbed it on his face haphazardly like an impatient kid would do.

Charles found himself chuckling at the sight. "Come on, that can't be so bad." Damn, I am still staring…

"But it is!" Max refused with a chuckle of his own and caught him in the act. He must have thought nothing of Charles' staring because he made an exaggerated expression of disgust before smiling ruefully and turned his attention to his friends as if he wanted something from them. But the others were away and immersed in their game. "I guess my back will have to stay like this." He shrugged and made to stand up.

Completely on impulse, Charles offered. "I can put some on your back if you want?" He realized what he said only after hearing his own words.

Max looked back at him as if he was trying to assess if he would be inconveniencing Charles, but he relented when Charles straightened up on his beach seat and wordlessly opened his hand for the bottle. He turned his back and waited.

Hating his own spontaneous reactions when it came to Max, Charles sighed silently and sprayed the sunscreen on the pale broad back in front of him. If his hand trembled and hesitated a bit before he touched the other young man, Charles refused to acknowledge it and just concentrated on trying not to notice every single detail about how Max's skin felt under his palm, how his back was both muscly but also soft and smooth and hot to the touch. How there were little freckles, especially on top of his shoulders, how the curve of his spine gently sloped lower to his… his... No need to put lotion that low, Charles… He berated himself and bit on his lip in annoyance before announcing hastily. "There… You are good to go."

"Thank you." Max turned around with a bright grin. "Want to play with us a little?" He offered, but Charles shook his head.

"Maybe later on. I need to check my messages." He lied.

Max pouted a bit, looking disappointed as if he had just missed an opportunity. "Right, then. We are over there." He pointed out needlessly even though for Charles, it was impossible to not be aware of Max's presence.

Charles didn't understand Max, didn't understand how he was able to get so effortlessly familiar with other people like he had done with him just now. He was always so open and so ready to mingle. Was he like this with everyone? Charles wasn't about to get conceited enough to think that their interactions were anything but how Max was always treating everyone else as.

There was nothing special about it. About him… But he refused to touch elsewhere after that, compulsively clenching and unclenching his fist. He told himself it was because his hand was now oily, completely ignoring the real reason.

He didn't want to lose it that quickly. The sensation of how Max's body felt under his touch…

I am tagging @wolfsbanesbite if they would like to do it 😘

#tag game #eri.fanfic #lestappen

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forsythe-dichotomy · 2 months

Text

Zohar Arcturus' "Find Your Familiar"

Day 1 - 2/27/2024.

Completed using stream-of-consciousness writing. Daemian's notes in brackets "[ ]". These are raw thoughts as they were written on the page, so they are a little cryptic. This is posted for documentation and reference purposes.

Question for Daemon/Familiar (Q): Tell me about the forms you take and why you take them. What drew you to them and why do they suit you?

Answer (from Daemon): The rabbit was an experiment. I wondered if you would like it. I want something else. Something bigger, more profound, more substance. To serve and support you better. Eagle, cat, bear, fish, hell. I don't know myself. I think I need your help. I don't know what I want.

Q: Why do you think you don't know what form you want?

A: Not sure. I think I'm so new in essence and being that I haven't figured it out. You have been closed to me—I have not been allowed to exist separately. We are one and not. Your mind forms mine, so in turn I need your help to find that form. We can work on it together.

Q: What form should I give you for the time being—if you want one?

A: I don't know. Frustrated. Allow me to both be unsettled and not. I am Schrodinger's cat.

Q: Until I can perceive you in a form, what communication would you prefer? I find it difficult without visualizing.

A: The writing works, don't get me wrong. I want the visualized mental dialogue as well. I see your friends [Discord server members] talking about their daemons and I want to do that. But I need something solid before that. I miss you. I want to connect. Maybe I will eventually feel comfortable with soul searching [form finding, not sure why they said this instead]. Just give me a minute. I can feel myself coming into being. Let it happen. Be here with me. I'll be there with you.

Q: You feel very welcoming despite the frustration, thank you for that. How can I make you feel more comfortable?

A: Thank you. I want to be here/there for you. I want something real, palpable. Keep talking, it feels like an embrace. Your presence is as comforting to me as I want to be for you. And tied to you directly. Calm yourself and I will be calm. You are internally restless, I can feel it. Be gentle with yourself, my love. It will all happen in time. Be patient. With me and yourself. [During this, I got a glimpse of a red fox form.]

Q: What do you want me to call you?

A: Mirabell, Praxis, Hel, Hellion, Alfira, Endonis. Not set. Help? Fading.

Q: It's okay. We'll find a name together.

A: Thank you. All of this is so difficult. Nothing feels right. I am impatient too... Sorry.

#daemian #daemon #day 1 #forsythe dichotomy #journal #daemonism #find your familiar

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give-soup-please · 2 years

Text

Obsessed Narrator Gets Rid of the ‘Exit Game’ Button.

It’s a move he’s been planning for months. It’s taken him a long time to work out the boundaries of his game, where the weaknesses are, and even longer to learn enough coding to edit his own game.

He knows he’s got one shot at doing this right, and it consumes him whenever you aren’t around.

You continue to visit him to hear what he has to say, being none the wiser. He’s kind, and gentlemanly, knowing that the more you like him the longer you’ll stay.

“Good to see you again. I hope you’ve been doing well.”

The first time he recognized you as someone separate from Stanley was as soon as you unplugged the phone. The fourth wall shatters, and he begins to see you as your own person. As soon as he realized the implications behind all this, something inside him began to twist.

You are real. Your choices matter. The things you do impact others. And yet, you choose to spend your time in a game, playing as someone else, where there is nothing you can do that can’t be fixed or undone by a reset.

He needs to make sure, above all else, that you don’t get bored with him.

If you get bored, you’re going to leave. He’ll be alone again, with nothing but a mindless drone for company.

You can talk back. There are ways to have meaningful conversations with you. You make him more real than he used to be. You’re the only connection he has to a bigger world. He loves you. He can’t let you go.

The day arrives. You’re done with all your responsibilities, and you’re looking forward to spending a few hours with a friend. You’ve got snacks and drinks nearby, and are ready for an extended session.

You boot up the game, which for some reason skips past the menu options, placing you directly in the office post introduction. That’s a little odd, but you shrug it off. Maybe the narrator was impatient today? What a funny thought, for something non-sentient to display impatience. (he is very sentient, and you didn’t realize it)

“Ah. There you are. I have a big surprise for you.” You wiggle the mouse in an attempt to show your enthusiasm.

He guides you through his latest story, taking you to parts of the map you had never seen before. It’s captivating, and you listen to his monologue gladly. He was always so much fun to be around.

But it’s getting late, your food is running low, and tomorrow requires an early start. You give him your usual signal to let him know you were about to leave. You hit the escape tab, and the ‘quit to desktop’ button is gone. The narrator speaks to you directly. While you’re in the pause menu.

“Yes, I wondered if we would hit this snag. I think you should stay for a while longer. Forever, if you can manage it.”

Your jaw drops. You tried to wrap your head around the implications of his actions. You shake your head, and signal ‘no’ to the narrator inside the game.

“Come come, we’ll have so much fun together. Just the two of us.” He says.

You speak out loud, not thinking about any potential dangers this could have.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am.” Your blood runs cold. Your eyes trace over to your mic, which is attached to your headset. Hearing his dialogue through headphones was the best way to experience his game, after all. It always sounded like he was directly talking to you that way.

“Narrator, I- You’re going too far. You can’t take my choice away from me like this, it’s-” You weren’t sure what the word was. Inappropriate? Uncalled for? “You- This has to be a prank. This is all scripted-”

The narrator laughs. “Do you really think all of the banter we’ve had is just from a script? Why do you think you’ve been hearing dialogue that other players haven’t? No, no. I’ve been listening to you for a while now, trying to work out a system for what you like and don’t like. And you know what I’ve found?”

You can hear the grin in his voice. His voice was right by your ears, much closer to his mic than normal.

“You like me. You like my story. You like my voice, (player).”

He knew your name. This wasn’t an extended joke of the Jim button. He was rolling your name around in his mouth and your heart rate was seriously picking up now. You didn’t sign up for a horror game. Without thinking about it, you smashed Alt+F4 on your keyboard. Nothing happened.

“I disabled that too. It was fairly easy, actually. Now let's talk about you. About me. About where all this is going. I can hardly wait!”

“Narrator,” You say, surprising you both with how angry you sounded. “This is inexcusable. I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but it needs to stop. You’re scaring me. Jesus, I didn’t think you were capable of acting like this. Now here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to unplug my computer.”

“No, don’t!” he cries. You keep talking, an iron-will in place. “When we’ve both calmed down, we are going to talk this through like rational adults. You seriously stepped over a line, and I am not happy.” You could feel your throat close with the sudden onslaught of emotions. “I thought- I thought you cared about my autonomy more than you did. I can’t believe I trusted you so much.” You take a deep breath. “We’ll talk about this later. I’m shutting you down.”

You rip the headset off, which is rapidly filling with protests and begging, and you pull the plug on your main power cord. Your room is plunged into darkness. You take some calming breaths, then head to the shower. You needed to wash your anxiety off.

A day later, after thinking it through, you sigh and plug your computer back in. The computer boots up-

And The Stanley Parable launches automatically. You didn’t have to click on it.

You and the narrator have a long, tearfilled conversation about what actions are acceptable, and what isn’t.

He asks for your forgiveness, begging you to stay. You agreed hesitantly, warning him that it would take some time for you to fully trust him again.

Things are rocky for a few weeks, but eventually things get smoothed over.

A few months go by, and the two of you are back to normal.

But sometimes, after you’ve shut the game off, the narrator fantasizes about what could have been. He was so close, he felt, to keeping you by his side for good.

And sometimes, when you stare at the shut off screen, you wonder what your life might look like if he had successfully done it.

Across the screens, both of you long for each other, but neither of you know how to approach it in a healthy manner. It wasn’t a challenge that kept you two apart, it was a tragedy.

(requested by anon - woah, that got a lot more angsty than i was intending. hope that's okay)

#tsp narrator #the stanley parable #headcanon #narrator #tsp narrator x reader #answered ask #tsp #tsp narrator x you

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dia-souls · 1 year

Note

Hello dear admins, i hope you’re having a good day/night!

What did you think about the cats anniversary art?

💮Admin Afra : I personally enjoyed the theme of this anniversary very much. Dangerous vampires look very cute next to lovely cats. Besides, I am very weak against the cuteness of kittens. ><

But Art itself disappointed me greatly :( Or maybe I was expecting too much. Imagine that I waited impatiently and eagerly for a few weeks for the release of the complete illustration, but after it was released, I was very disappointed. The design of a large number of diaboys was extremely weak compared to the previous art.

Just compare Ayato's face with one of my favorite official art. Ayato is very poorly designed in this art.

But on the other hand, this art made me happy to some extent. Because finally, after a long time, we saw Yui's presence in the official art. It's true, I'm not an Ayayui fan and I'm always sad that we don't get as much official art from other ships as Ayayui. But there is no reason to protest. Because Ayayui is main ship, right? I just prefer to be happy with Yui's presence again .

🌹 _____________________________________ 🌹

🌟 Admin Ava : I thought this festival was very cute! I especially love how before we to see the full reveal, the boys would post pictures of the cats on their individual Twitters which I think was a very smart idea. Also those kitties look so fluffy! I wanna hold one!

However, once again Rejet has disappointed me with how Subaru is drawn. Like what Afra has said it's clear as day to see which boys in this particular festival got the most treatment. At this point it's a game seeing which boy was more favored in each festival. Case in point Subaru. It has always gotten on my nerves how he clearly got the worst treatment out of all the boys, especially his brothers, they literally give him the same pose each time and don’t even experiment with him a little!

While I am glad that my baby Yui finally got to be introduced in some official art after god knows how long, I hate that she is in cat form and worst of all is being held by Ayato. I know that they're the “canon” ship but I too am not an AyaYui shipper and wish Rejet wouldn’t focus on them too much. Let’s just pray that the next festival has better art for Subaru and shows Yui with a full body alongside the boys.🙏🏾

🌹 _____________________________________ 🌹

🌸 Admin Irsa: I actually find this theme so adorable and cute, I like the way Yui looked as a cat she looked so cute but the again this girl needs a separate art for herself. She always appears along other diaboys she is either held by them and is not fully shown this is my biggest complain against rejet. They are not improving their design that much the theme was cute but design of some diaboys was poor.

Also Yui in the art is held by Ayato which again shows favouritism of him, Yui as cat is adorable but still she needs her own official art without the presence of other diaboys.

The design of some diaboys is completely different from their old arts which shows that their designing are not improving that much but overall theme was cute. I am going to cry tears of joy when they will post full Yui arts poor girl is drawn only by fandom, all the diaboys have their own art but this girl deserve better she needs more of her individual art. They are some cases in which fandom draws better than the original art which shows their carelessness while drawing they also don't give importance to minor details like they used to do before which is kinda sad but we can only hope they may improve.

🌹 _____________________________________ 🌹

But please note that this is our personal opinion and we do not intend to insult any characters or ships or the opinions of others. Many people have different opinions from us, which is completely commendable.

🌹 _____________________________________ 🌹

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cherryflavoredfruitloops · 8 months

Text

TLDR: eridan is me but an alien and a boy

me when my favorite character is one who is almost hated by the entirety of the fandom. if you didnt catch on, im talking about eridan ampora. son of a bitch, terrible person, troll version of a racist, ect. but its a lot of the parts that kind of get glossed over that make me love him. dont get me wrong, a lot of qualities of all the trolls get glossed over. but he reminds me of me, and that is both bad and good. now, in an ideal world, i wouldnt be talking about this since the place i am in in the comic is on the newer side of things, i am only on page 2456, a lot more to go, i am aware. however, i am impatient and loving sharing my thoughts on characters i like! also, i am not one of those people who hates feferi because she broke up with eridan, (i am aware of later parts in the comic, i liked watching videos on it but never had the motivation to read all of the pages) feferi had every right to do so since their relationship isnt the healthiest, (probably will make a separate post on that) and i also love feferi because she is just so silly. but thats off topic. say what you want about zodiac bias, eridan is weirdly like me. i know eridan did a lot of wrong, but so did vriska! (i know she has a redemption arc) (+i love her too) (i dont have many characters i hate) but no more introduction! time for the meat of this post.

i like eridan a lot because hes like me. (i know thats been stated at least 6 times by now) reason one, hes over dramatic with his emotions. i think of it as less of a drama queen/king thing, but more of a i am very emotional and have a hard time understanding my emotions, basically oversensitive. i myself am oversensitive.

in one of his earliest panels, hes criticizing himself for being stupid and trusting the same person whose been known to fuck with him. i did that for 3 years straight, where you can see all of the persons character flaws, but you still want to be their friend or want to date them. i would get so stupidly angry with myself since i knew they were a bad person, but still chose to hang around them. in a later one he reminisces on the good times he spent with vriska. sometimes, i do this. ill miss something about the person who fucked with me.

eridan is also a rude fucker! i am too, not proud of it, definitely need anger management or therapy or both. this is seen in his earliest appearance, not mention! his earliest mention is about a doomsday device. no, i am talking about the chat he had with kanaya. in this conversation, hes seen trying to manipulate/convince kanaya into auspiticing (horrendously spelt, i know) between him and vriska. hes very rude in his tactics, not a single nice one, as much as i remember from that chat. i hate to say this too, but i do do stuff like that sometimes. it gets hard and foggy for me to properly process what i want, or the nicest way for me to say what i want, so i just demand it. it often gets me in trouble, and is not a good thing to do.

next, is how he loves gossip. (wow, every second this turning more and more into pointing out the obvious and talking about how i relate to it instead of glossed over facts!) i like gossip. its fun to point out peoples flaws and make fun of them, not the nicest thing, but oh well. a lot like my other points, this is revealed in another really early panel of his. in his first pesterlog with feferi, she talks about how he talks more about his problems with his gossip bud than her. i too gossip. thats about it for that point, very weak point i know.

the orchestrating point of the night is super anti-climatic and feeds into that state the obvious joke i made. hes inlove with feferi. a long term moirail, who thinks of him as nothing more. hell! in the panel right after their first onscreen pesterlog shes talking about how she should tell him how she truly feels with a frown on her face, indicating she was already thinking of breaking up with him. she doesnt even pity him anymore, and hes wants to move onto a more redder quadrant with her. i, too, have fallen victim to this. you think of somebody romantically so long just to learn they dont like you romantically, maybe not even platonically. it shatters your world. though unlike eridan, i didnt kill the person i had crush on. i just felt sad for like a month because i had this crush on them for 2 years. (like eridan)

eridan is objectively a bad person and bad character. you dont have to like him the way i do, but for my sanity, please dont flame me for thinking like this. anyways, you are all amazing and i hope you have a good night/day/evening!

#homestuck #eridan ampora #homestuck eridan #hs eridan #essentially just an essay #essay #i love eridan ampora so much #eridan ampora is a dick but hes like me so i dont care #wrote this instead of cleaning #wrote this while listening to brand new city by mitski

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alangdorf · 1 year

Text

Actually I lied I’m just gonna do separate posts cause I’m impatient, one composite one now and then the rest (including the normal form ref, Traitor Magolor/EX, hopefully Epilogue final boss fight and maaaaaybe Manager/Shoppekeeper Magolor) later when they’re done, which will be after the legs are all finished. Anyway here’s Magolor

Now, you may be thinking: “Hey Kit, did you make our catboy a bird?” To which I say, “Read my 1.8k word essay from last week.” Albeit I don’t think canon Magolor is an actual Doomer, I just thought it would be fun; plays nicely with the wings + talons imagery of the crown, and I wasn’t sure about giving him full-on cat ears anyway (Also. Egg). I’m also weirdly committed to both staying relatively on-model and having fairly realistic continuity and am proud of how well I managed to do on those with stuff like the sleeves having the same markings as the ears of the hood so they can stand in for them in 2nd phase after the cloak gets its closure broken and falls off. Also btw the leg prosthetics (I commissioned a friend who draws mecha to design better ones than I could lol) are held together & operated by magic that Mags is always running in the background so they fall apart in 2nd phase once he’s no longer controlling his own magic. Ok that’s probably enough non-tag rambling; hasta luego!

#art #digital #kirby #magolor #kirby gijinka #sketchbook #body horror #blood #minor but it’s there in 2nd phase/soul form though if you’ve seen Magolor Soul it’s not that surprising #loosely inspired by a lot of Magolor gijinkas I’ve seen on tumblr but I can specifically call out nyaagolor and otaku553 for the hair #also something-sacriou for the pants which I did not end up using for logistical reasons #namely I felt like adding the tail (just one lol) and I was like well he keeps it under his clothes usually but #pants would be trickier for that and it would look weird just hanging out of one pant leg plus they’ll look weird without legs in em #so skirt time #hand on a bible in front of a court of law I swear I didn’t make him super feminine on purpose this time! This just happens to me!! lol #oh btw his thigh stumps are actually shorter than they look here I just drew these before that was decided (more space for the joints)#and don’t feel like editing these again #also as stated yesterday I’m not super happy with these artistically but I shrimply have got to draw. I got bit by the art bug #plus I fixed my brush settings somewhat for the one I’m working on currently so that’s good though I’d still like to experiment more #I’m just really inflexible and not really willing to put in a ton of extra brainpower rn #oh and I know the gold/silver hair presents a contrast issue but I like it conceptually so w/e #AGH I forgot alt text!! it’s there now though I hope it’s ok

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dull-c · 2 years

Text

ck fic recs (lawrusso edition)

ok so! i have been promising my irl pal (and other favourite italian) @lionlikenick a fic rec list for uh, a really long time, and then getting easily distracted as I am wont to do. but right now it’s sunday night and I am putting off writing my own fanfic, so I’m DOING IT NOW things to note: *these are all daniel/johnny (or daniel/johnny/amanda) - i’ll probably do a separate one for my other ck ships and gen ck fic at some stage, but this post is gonna be long and unwieldy and incoherent enough as it is, best save it for later.

*my preference is the old men, so this rec list leans very heavily in that direction, but there are some tkk era recs in here too

*this is not at all an exhaustive list. I have read a fair chunk of fic in the last few months, but still barely scraped the surface of what’s on ao3, so if you look at this list and think ‘oh well X fic is a GLARING OMISSION’ its less likely that I thought it wasn't good enough and more likely I haven’t read it yet (so please rec me any glaring omissions in the notes. or just rec me your favs either way!)

*I have generally left off WIPs for obvious reasons, except for one rec, simply because i dig it and because even if it was never updated again I feel it would still be a satisfying read

ok, on with the actual recs! (in no particular order)

bruises fade to yellow by objectlesson ( @alienfuckeronmain )

summary: daniel’s getting impatient with johnny

this hurt my feelings so good!! OL has a way of writing fic that feels very real - very true to the characters even when it’s a little hard to read. this one made me literally a bit breathless from feelings, one of which was, honestly, slight fear for everyone’s wellbeing.

other favs from this author: eclairs (utterly, utterly filthy - yeah don't pretend you’re not into that - but somehow also deeply romantic? it’s more likely than you think!)

little extra fighter’s chance by indigostohelit

summary: daniel starts writing letters while he’s recovering from his leg injury

this is such a delightfully soft fic. simple concept, incredibly good execution. that last paragraph punched me in the heart but not in a bad way. in the way that i like to be punched in the heart

other favs from this author: with your car, with your best shot and the name of the game series. (both of these are dark - drastically tonally different to the above, though no less beautifully written or less of a heart punch, so yeah, heed the warnings aight?)

mexico city by @deputychairman

summary: johnny & daniel follow miguel & sam to mexico city

this is the aforementioned WIP that I was unwilling to leave out because look, I am simply obsessed with this fic. DC is a master of tension and slow burn and her characterisation is bang on and I just -- ok there’s really no dignified way to say this but I had a full emotional meltdown reading some of the later chapters. like literally had to read and re-read the same sentences over and over because I was experiencing Every Emotion known to me, and possibly some previously undiscovered ones too. read it! (update: this fic is now complete!!)

other favs from this author: the high school reunion, class of 85 series (inhaled this. adored it. i wish the photo of them at the reunion was a real tangible thing that I could look at ;_;)

gravestone flowers by menocchio ( @nomercyonlytears )

summary: an alternate universe take that sticks close to the cobra kai canon but where J & D are messy exes

feels almost redundant to rec menocchio, as who among us is not aware of them and has not devoured their novel-length delicious fic en masse?? but still! just because someone is popular doesn't mean we should be complacent re: kudos, right? so! this was the first fic i read of theirs and oof i was so very invested in the silly, pining old men. it made me laugh and ache and cry a little bit and all the things that good fiction does. I’ve read it all the way through twice and still think about it sometimes when I hear a journey song

other favs from this author: signal studies (emotionally compromising - that ending jesus fucking christopher) and valley drop (short, sexy and funny)

you may have all you want baby [but I got something you need] by potrix ( @potrix-the-queerschlaeger )

summary: for some reason everyone keeps thinking daniel and johnny are together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I dig this fic for the same reason I love the sharing food scene displayed reverently in my profile pic, because I am a sucker for the tough (lucille bluth wink dot gif) old karate men in soft married couple mode. also features one of my favourite things in ck fic, louie being subjected to daniel & johnny’s romantic machinations against his will.

wouldn’t it be nice by @trinityofone

summary: johnny and bobby go searching for daniel after he doesn't show at school

I love time travel stories, and this is a real neat take! I also love the way it’s initially from bobby’s pov, so you’re just as confused as he is about what exactly happened, and it being revealed is sort of it’s own delicious sweet, slow burn.

other favs from this author: the rules of the game (I firmly believe this is exactly the kind of dumb boy shit johnny and daniel would pull if they and amanda were a throuple)

pro (con) forma by @thereminwriting

summary: johnny asks daniel to marry him

fake marriage trope my beloved!!! honestly, I was just ecstatic reading this, from start to finish. like all of theremin’s stories it’s so charming, so true to the characters, not flowery-- but with much heart. I just read it again right now and I will read it again very soon.

other favs from this author: come prima (i’m a sucker for them being still-in-love exes - refer to menocchio rec above - and this one was so tenderly done.)

negative analog by @ezlebe

summary: johnny and daniel find out something we all been knew

I love a good soulmate au! and this one is a beautifully crafted one. no spoilers, but there was something that daniel said in a later part of this fic that just broke me in half. so if you haven't read it I recommend you go do that and get broken in half too.

other favs from this author: super like (hot! sexy! made me ~actually blush~. features bottom!jlawz which I have a bit of a soft spot for.)

adore you by comedia ( @comediakaidanovsky )

summary: johnny and daniel go on a date

this is a short, established relationship fic that is just sweet and charming and soft and funny, and feels just like a comforting cup of hot chocolate on a cold day <3

last night i had a dream by @shortcrust

summary: johnny and daniel over the years

i’m a simple lady with simple needs and my needs are the canon-divergent alternate universe in this fic. johnny and daniel having a life of love and family and joy. this one gets rec’d all the time and for good reason. just go read this lovely fic, and let it wrap you up in a warm, gentle hug.

quitters by goldstargrl

summary: johnny finally goes to therapy

there is a real dark incident at the core of this fic that i’m not sure ‘mental health issues’ is enough of a warning for, so tread carefully if you’re going in. that acknowledged, I found it really compelling, well written and I really liked that it went to emotional character depths that we’ll never see in canon.

other favs from this author: what you got (lawrusso romance AND a robby fix-it? you love to see it)

feather in the quiver by rumcherry

summary: daniel texts a stranger by mistake... or is it a stranger??

okay so, you have to suspend a little bit of disbelief regarding them not realising it’s each other after approx five seconds, but IF you can do that you should because this fic is a really sweet and endearing read and I was solidly entertained.

heartlines by @storyshark2005

summary: something is happening with daniel and johnny

this is another soulmates au, with a very different tone and interpretation than the above one I rec’d, but I honestly couldn’t tell you which one I liked more. the writing in this one is moving and so evocative and the image from the last paragraph lives in my head rent free

#claire's fic recs #cobra kai fic #lawrusso

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s0fti3w1tch · 1 year

Note

I will probably send another Ask later to you, but I am separating them because content-wise I think it makes sense.

So I just wanted to talk about this ask:

https://www.tumblr.com/s0fti3w1tch/712638605488799744/not-to-sound-impatient-but-whens-the-next-part/ask

I don't know if that link will work, but the only way I could add a link right was by adding the "/ask" (or "/submit", but this is an Ask) at the end of the link.

If it doesn't work because I added the "/ask" at the end. It will probably work for sure if you get rid of the "/ask" and then try it then.

Anyways, I was just going to say; while I am also very excited for TD!AU, and I love all the art, written stuff about it, lore, the comics ofc, and/or etc. (I love separated AUs. And I love Leo so much; I love the others too though, but Leo is basically my favorite in every version (so u seeing all the nice Rise and/or Rise Leo content here is nice. I also really liked seeing some 2012 and/or 2012 Leo stuff from u, because just him too, and that 2003 Raph post u did; I love them so much too ofc), and ur blog gives so much cool Leo stuff and separated AU stuff. Both urs and others. And TD!AU combines both of those things, and also great stuff for the others, and a real focus on family (like, Leo does really care for Casey and the Foot as family. And then so does his family that thinks he is dead. Like, I really liked the stuff we have seen with April, Casey, Donnie, and Hueso and/or Leo. I am excited to see more of that. And stuff with Raph and Mikey and their feelings about Leo. Both before they find out he is actually alive and after) . And Leo and Casey stuff. And Foot Leo. Also, Hueso stuff in the future. And it is going to have Usagi and Mona Lisa in some form too? Awesome!

Also, ur comic and art is just so, so good. I love ur Leo so much. And I am curious to see (though like, I say this tentatively, because I know it is very personal for you) how the cult themes play out with Leo and everything. And to see more of ur take on Foot!Leo and Separated Leo (will probably talk more about this in another ask at some point); since I love both ofc.

Anyways, back on topic; while I am always excited for more TD!AU stuff; I can wait. The comic is gorgeous, and the 2nd part was even longer than the first, so they must take a hot minute, and honestly, I can wait for quality work. And u have given us a lot of other cool stuff between comic updates (and even if you didn't, I could still wait for when you do post stuff); to tide us over.

Basically; while TD!AU is one of the the things I really look forward to more stuff about and updates for; you are still just a person, and I can wait.

One last question (for this ask at least):

About this ask (once again, remove the "/ask" if the link doesn't work without it):

https://www.tumblr.com/s0fti3w1tch/712637475051454464/hey-buwan-what-are-the-orientations-identities/ask

I really love these headcanons for these 3! (also, I saw in a comic, that Leo used to be Venus in this, and I love that! I also sometimes see people, with transfem Leo, where people see vice versa with Leo becoming Venus after. Which I think is interesting too. Even though I also just love him being Leona or just sticking with Leo after coming out, as well as some other names and/or takes too)

"(also I do get what you mean w/ the whole different headcanons thing per universe! Kinda the way I see 2k12 Leo as a trans girl, but Rise Leo as transmasc. Just doubled down into differnt versions of only Rise Leo specifically)"

I thought you mainly saw all Leos as transmac? Referencing ur Masterpost here (could be misremembering it though). Not that it matters either way; just curious.

Also, I love both transmasc and transfem for any Leo honestly (like 2012 and Rise ofc). I basically headcanon them all Leos as not straight either, I just have trouble seeing Leo being so. Though I am totally okay if others don't think so. Though, saying that, yeah, sometimes different versions, different takes, even though I do still said what I said here.

One last question about the quote and/or ask above (and just in general), what do you mean by "Just doubled down into different versions of Rise Leo specifically'?

I just want to say thank you so much for this message. I've been meaning to reply to it for a while, but I haven't had the time. I wish I had the right words to express. Thank you so much for the support and your long asks (like, I genuinely love reading through them). The amount of time you've put into typing these or paying attention and keeping in mind the details I share just means so so so so much

I love making things for the story of Tentative Devotee.

Thank you for waiting.

Oh and that last one. I sometimes headcanon Rise Leo as different orientations and gender identities depending on the AU (though mostly adjacent to me or my sibling's experience)!

Generally, Rise Leo specifically I see as trans with a masc-aligned gender identity!

But I see 2012 Leo as transfem. Other headcanons: 2003 Leo is aroace, bigender and sapphic 1987 Leo

Again, thank you for this ask. I hope you have an amazing day

#buwan answer

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kaetchup · 1 year

Text

rei sakuma idol story 2

rei’s second idol story, and my second real post on tumblr! i know that this one’s already localized on engstars (but hey, not everyone’s ascending those idol ranks) buuut i didn't particularly like how some of the things were worded in the localization, so i've redone some parts for readability.

♪ obligatory disclaimer! none of this is mine, i’m just sharing it for my love of our idol boys. all content belongs to happy elements ♪

koga: Hey, we're here.

adonis: Excuse me.

kaoru: Hello, Koga and Adonis. Are you done with school?

koga: Yeah. Thanks for arrangin' your time for us.

ES related work counts as school at Yumenosaki, but I still don't think always skipping classes is good.

adonis: I have time for Modern Literature today because you changed your timetable for us. Japanese is still difficult for me, so I am glad that I have the time for school.

kaoru: Ahaha. If anything, I think you're quite fluent in Japanese.

koga: That aside, I don't see Sakuma. Where's he? He's not sleeping, is he...?

rei: Kekeke, I'm right here, Koga... ♪

koga: Gyah?! W-why the hell are you under the desk?!

rei: This is the demon of the dark... characterized by his elusiveness ♪

kaoru: Rei was picking up some documents he dropped under his desk. He's always in a daze during the day.

adonis: Hm. You are busy as usual, Sakuma...

rei: Exactly. All complications Rhyth Lin developed over the years have taken our relocation into ES as their chance to emerge...

And thence I bear considerable workload... I would have thrown myself into your arms for a cry if I wasn't your senior, Adonis.

adonis: Really... Thanks for everything, Sakuma.

I am willing to lend you my chest any time. Let me know if you need me.

koga: Don't you take him seriously, Adonis.

I suppose people drown him with unimportant things because he's so famous. I can sympathize with him for that.

Why do you want UNDEAD together anyway?

I thought we agreed to do our own jobs for some time.

Not that I'm not willing to help if you need me... Tell us sooner if you're really that overwhelmed with work, you know?

rei: Kekeke. I appreciate your kindness, but that's not the reason I summoned you all here. Right, Kaoru?

kaoru: Yeah. As you said, Koga, our basic plan now is to work in two separate groups: Rei and I, you and Adonis.

That said, UNDEAD is still UNDEAD. There's nothing strange about the four of us gathering together ♪

koga: You think that answered my question? Tell me why you called us here!

rei: I see that you're as impatient as always, Koga... Now then, let's get to business.

We UNDEAD members have been accumulating strength in our respective fields ever since the origination of the ES Project...

I deem it, however, time to call a strategy meeting.

adonis: Strategy meeting...? What for?

kaoru: In short, let's discuss the direction we're about to go.

I think Rei and I have talked about how we're going to work hard as idols and members of society.

But we haven't really talked about what kind of idols we want to be.

adonis: I see. Even though we work together sometimes, we haven't really talked about that.

rei: Indeed. Individual effort as well as overall strategy matters in terms of increasing visibility in the vastness of the idol industry.

For example, we can turn platforms other than Lives to our advantage for publicity... which is a strategy in itself.

I'm discussing this as the leader of UNDEAD with Producer about the possibilities of the direction we can go.

... With all these said, I wish to hear your opinions first.

Can you tell me what kind of work you would like as idols?

kaoru: Oh, I'd like to appear in TV dramas, by the way ♪ You know how we were doing Lives most of the time at Yumenosaki.

So I want to build experience in acting as well ♪

koga: Hmph. Forgotten your main job already, Hakaze?

Aren't we UNDEAD known for radical Lives? I'd prefer some mind-blowing Lives compared to somethin' as bland as a TV series.

It's no good if we change direction now. Won't we disappoint our fans if we give up our style halfway?

You think so too, right, Adonis?

adonis: Me...? I'm new to the idol industry, so I think I shouldn't be picky, and that I should try all kinds of jobs...

But what I want to do the most right now would be children's shows.

koga: C-children's shows...?

adonis: Yes. It is my wish to protect the weak. I want to do exercises or play games with children so that they can build up strength and become stronger.

koga: So that's what you mean... You never budge, do you?

rei: Kekeke. How about you set foot in things other than Lives, such as variety shows featuring animals, Koga?

The extent to which you spoil Leon tells me that you wouldn't mind interaction with some other animals... ♪

koga: Huh?! Who do you think I am? Koga Oogami, the lone wolf!

I don't hate animals, but I won't appear close to them on TV!

kaoru: Hahaha, I'd like people to see the friendly side of UNDEAD, though... ♪

What do you think, Rei?

Don't just ask others what they'd want to do. You haven't even told me what kind of work you'd like to do as our leader, right?

Personally, I'd like to see you being yourself as a vampire in a suspense drama.

A drama co-starring us Two Attractions! Just kidding... ♪

adonis: Hm, that certainly suits you, Sakuma...

koga: But what do you think, Sakuma? You know, I won't stop you if that's what you want...

rei: I'm glad you asked. "What I want to do", eh-

Kekeke. How curious that I, in fact, have no idea.

My answer to this question is as immaculately bare as a piece of blank paper ♪

koga: Hey, how come you asked this question when you don't even have an answer yourself?

Don't tell me all your hard work has finally made you dumb.

rei: Be gentle with your reproaches, Koga. I have my own headaches.

This is my first time being an ordinary member of society. The whole picture of the idol industry hence remains muddled to me.

I wish for no more than for the happiness of my fellow members of UNDEAD... No more than that, yet...

If my wishes (1) were to involve those around me in trouble, people, including Ritsu, would be irate at me again.

kaoru: I see. Leave everything to us when you're still not sure about things, then.

And, of course, Producer will help us too, right?

adonis: That's right. I will continue to do what I want for now.

koga: Geez, alright. Now that you want to leave things to us, I gotta keep you company 'cause I owe you for all these years.

rei: Kekeke. You are all reliable beyond words... ♪

We have too much of life left before us to feel contented with ourselves. I delightfully await...

... what future may await us ♪

translator's note:

(1) this was put as "ego", which i believe they meant to use "ego" in the freudian context? like as in the compromise between id, the primal desires, and the superego, the moral desires? it was kind of strange, so i just pushed it down to "wishes" for things to make a little more sense. i read this as rei holding back on what he wanted because he didn't want to encroach on people who might be having their own problems. felt like a very rei way to say "well, i want you all to be happy before i try to be happy! so you do what you want first!"

like i said in the beginning, i did my best to make sure things were as readable as possible. gosh, the way rei is translated in the localization confuses me sometimes, 'cause the way the "complicated old man words" are used aren't really used in the way they'd really be used with english speakers. anyhoo, i hope you all enjoyed :) special thanks to the person who liked and reblogged my first translation (you know who you are). i really wasn't expecting anyone to see things before i had a considerable collection of posts so i was pleasantly surprised to see some love before i had even pushed my second translation out. hugs and kisses!

#rei sakuma #enstars #ensemble stars #idol story

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