#i tried to read a 'clean' romance a while back

[uglypastels]

Ridlington Park | I | Eddie Munson regency!au

Author's Note: It has been a long, long time, but I am back with another obnoxious AU. I hope you enjoy as we embark on this new adventure in Regency England. This story has been in the works for almost 2 years and is still far from finished, but I am having too much fun with this and have way too many ideas on where to take it, so suggestions are very much appreciated.

Word Count: 10k

Do be warned, Dear Reader, for this story in its entirety may contain:

female!reader. slow burn. forbidden romance. jealousy. pining. smut. alcohol consumption. swearing. OC family. horses. talks of arranged marriage. historical facts as well as trivial inaccuracies.

Due to the adult nature of the story, this author also kindly but sternly requires underage readers to pursue other works. 

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Chapter One: A Game of Perseverance

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.”

– Jane Austen, Letter to her sister Cassandra, 1798

Three stories high, full of balconied windows, the house stood tall and overlooked the entire street. Ridlington Park, they called it, and situated at the centre of life–that is, London–the front door of the building was enveloped in flowers matching the seasons all year long. Currently, it was bright peonies that caught the onlooker’s eye. The perfectly trimmed bushes and trees were planted symmetrically, leading up to the front doors, giving visitors the right impression of what they could await once they stepped inside.

The residing family had spent a good fortune and effort ensuring the house represented them perfectly: clean, fortunate, and grand, but all done so in the utmost respectable and modest fashion as they were never the ones to boast. The walls had a light, warm tone reminiscent of early mornings in Spring, and the interior was decorated with portraits, new and old, beautiful oil sceneries of lands near and far, and busts and vases. 

The evening was slowly approaching, the sun setting over the windows of the drawing room, enwrapping everything in a golden glow. The family sat silently around the room, giving each other the peace and quiet required for an uneventful afternoon followed by a slow night of fortunate sleep. The only sound appreciated was the pianoforte siding against the window, gracefully played by Mother. Four children sat around the separate corners of their world, enjoying the music while focusing on their own activities. Like most nights, these consisted of either reading or needlework, engaging in small conversations with one another occasionally. 

As typical as any evening at Ridlington Park, it was highly unusual for the rest of London– a city which runs on scandals and gossip. Outside, the streets were bustling with lords and ladies of the Ton making their way back home from the markets, gardens and their fellows’ tea parties, gossiping about the latest impropriety to have occurred. After all, such topics, no more than nonsense really, were simply inescapable. And no matter how hard they tried to ignore it all, one way or another, it would always find its way up to the Byrnwick family. Most of the time, you, Gentle Reader, could hold yourself accountable for introducing the rumours proudly, much to your brother’s annoyance, who did his best to turn the pages of his novel as loud as possible as you talked with your mother from across the room. 

‘Have you heard what happened at Lady Faulkner’s ball?’

  ‘Yes, sordid, really.’ Your mother sighed, turning around. ‘I am sure her family is in quite the uproar.’

‘Please,’ Christopher, your brother, shut his book down in frustration, clearly incapable of making any progress amidst the conversation. ‘If she had not wanted to get caught, she should have maybe ought to think twice about being out with a man in the middle of the gardens for everyone to see.’ 

You glared up at him. ‘Well, it is absurd that a woman cannot even stand in a public space with a man without bringing disgrace onto her entire family.’

‘Believe me; she did much more than just standing.’ Christopher scoffed, quickly receiving a cold stare from your mother. 

‘Still, it is unjust.’ You ignored his insinuations. ‘Think of how men are free to go out at any time of day or night with whomever they please.’ You stabbed your needle through the cloth a bit harsher than intended.

‘My, you sure seem to be giving all this much thought. Have you any plans we should know about, sister?’ Your brother smirked.

‘Christopher!’ Your mother scowled. ‘That is quite enough.’

‘I was only joking, Mother,’ Christopher sighed, ‘we all know she is not going anywhere anytime soon.’

You were ready to retort angrily, or at least throw your needle at him, when the doors to the drawing room opened, catching everyone’s attention by storm. Five pairs of identical eyes directly aimed at the door frame, only softening when recognising the intruders. A welcoming of surprised gasps greeted the Lord and his eldest, Nicholas, as they entered the room. Not one foot in the room, and all activities were being put to a halt as the rest of the family gathered around the men—a loving reunion after a months-long journey from the Americas. 

It was a surprising return, for father and son had yet to write of their plans in recent times. The last letter was received at Ridlington Park over three weeks ago, stating that the weather was amiable, if not a bit too humid, and that the family missed each other deeply. The lack of correspondence, therefore, was also an immediate subject. 

‘But why did you not write, dear?’ asked Mother, after embracing her son. Nicholas was too occupied by his youngest sibling to answer; airways tightened in the arms of his 11-year-old sister, Marjorie. His father responded instead:

‘How could we write at sea, my love? The message would not have gotten here any faster than we did,’ the lord chuckled to his wife. He was correct, too, of course. His eyes seemed to surpass the gaze of his present family members in search of the one missing piece. ‘Where is Annabelle? I thought she would be home by now.’ 

‘She is home, with her husband,’ you explained carefully. Your father blinked slowly, coming to terms with this fact he had tried to avoid for so long. Annabelle had married last season and was very well off, to a Duke, no less, but it was still a big adjustment for the family seeing her gone and out of the house. Even with her frequent visits, it was strange to have one head less at the dinner table; one less chair occupied each evening, one less song played on the pianoforte. 

‘Ah, well then,’ Father cleared his throat, ‘then we are complete.’ He looked at his wife and five children. One day, there would be even fewer of them. They will all be leaving the nest one by one. For some, marriage was long overdue, and as a man of high society, he could not wish his children a suitor or a lady soon enough, but as a father, he dreaded the day that the following proposals would take place.

Marjorie, becoming impatient and not as sentimental about her family’s reunion, tugged at Nicholas’ sleeve. ‘Come, you must tell us everything about your journey!’ She kept pulling until the eldest brother had no choice but to follow her and sit on the couch. Soon, everyone else joined on the chaises. 

‘I am afraid there is very little to tell,’ Nicholas said, taking a chocolate biscuit off the tray beside the sofa. ‘It was all rather dull.’ 

‘Do not be ridiculous, brother,’ Fitzwilliam, the second-youngest and still hungry for adventure and the world outside of the Ton, looked at his older brother with high expectations. ‘I do not believe you and Father had been gone this long and did not experience anything worthy of a tale.’ 

You listened on as your siblings bickered, arguing over the value of a story, and its worth of being told and heard. Finally, after listening to it for about a quarter of an hour, you had to agree with Nicholas; it was all rather dull. No wonder neither he nor father did not bother to mention anything but the weather in their correspondence. Their days quickly grew into a pattern one is used to in travel and business. A pattern you might have understood if you cared to pay attention. 

This attention only returned to the room when you heard your name being spoken. The conversation had shifted from the events that had been missed overseas to the town's happenings. Just as dull and irrelevant, some might say, the most interesting thus far was the staff changes at the house, and even these held very little consequence to you, but to this, some may disagree wholeheartedly. 

‘So, the season has begun, has it not, sister?’ Nicholas asked. 

‘Some weeks ago, yes.’ You did your best pretending not to feel an effect from this, occupying yourself with your needlework that was turning out far below the usual standard. ‘But do not worry; you have not missed much. In fact, I think things will finally begin to get a bit interesting with you back home.’ Nicholas had always had a taste for dramatics and had been known for having a very… loving nature. In the past years, you must have witnessed him falling in love at least a dozen times, preparing a proposal to half of these women, going through with it twice now, with one nearly making it to the alter if not for the bride getting caught in quite a compromising position with a footman.

For the next few weeks, Nicholas was known as the heartbroken gentleman, and you would have felt bad for him… if it was not for the fact that women from all over town came around to console him, day after day, of course not knowing that when his bride-to-be had been making arrangements with other men, your brother had been too busy charming ladies himself. It took a month for him to proclaim his love to another woman again.

‘I do not know what you mean,’ Nicholas deflected your comment, quickly looking over to your mother and second oldest brother, Christopher, ‘any fitting suitors I should be aware of?’ As the eldest brother, Nicholas made it his duty to ensure his sisters found good husbands. That meant status and wealth but, above anything else, a good and genteel nature. You remembered how picky he was when Annabelle had been searching for a husband, even more so than your parents. Still, it was something you appreciated about your brother. His protectiveness showed the little heart he still held for you and the rest of your family, as much as he tried to hide it away. 

Your mother bit her cheek, holding in the many thoughts and opinions she must have kept for herself. So did Christopher, who shared a very knowledgeable look of many words with Nicholas, one he understood clearly but you could not decipher just yet. However, you assumed the general message had been sent and received. 

‘If you had seen the choices, brother, you would understand my predicament and situation all too well, believe me.’ Pretending to seem unbothered by the encrypted messages being sent around the room, you preoccupied yourself once more with the needlework. 

‘I believe it is what you believe, sister,’ Nicholas turned back to your mother, ‘do you have a list of names? I shall go through them in the morning, see if it really is as bad as we are being told.’ 

You had wanted to reply, most likely in a dishonourable way, but you held your tongue and fell back in your seat, letting the rest of your family plan out the rest of your life, just like they had always done. 

Unbelievable, Nicholas was home for all of five minutes, and he was already making lists. And knowing him, which you would like to think you did, it was merely a formality for your sake. He would already have a dozen names at the top of his head, ready to send out invitations to men for an audience with you. 

Therefore, you were not surprised when, only a few days later, at the breakfast table, Nicholas told you about all the guests Ridlngton Park would soon be welcoming. 

‘There is Mr Elton, and Mr Brookes will be coming over for tea; I also heard Lord Frankworth is interested in a visit, so is Mr Campbell, and—’ he kept on giving you names, with all of them entering one ear and immediately leaving through your other. You could not care less who wanted to see you, not after spending the last month trying your hardest to escape all of their attempts at promenading, lunching, and chatting of sheer nonsense. 

‘I must ask you to be ready for your first audience before 10; a dress is already prepared in your room.’ Of course, there was a dress. All you could do was smile as you bit into a forkful of egg. 

‘Oh, and there is one gentleman I would particularly like you to meet,’ your father chimed in, almost as if with an afterthought that he recollected at the last minute. You looked up at him apprehensively. ‘I had made a nice acquaintance of his father on our travel. What was his name– Harrolds, no…’  ‘Harrington, father. It was Mr Harrington.’ Nicholas corrected before looking over to you as he shared more. ‘He is a tradesman, quite successful. His only son had joined us on the ship back to England.’ The emphasis on his lineage was made with an apparent inclination. There were no more heirs, meaning the son would inherit the man’s entire wealth. ‘Certainly seems like a reasonable young man, clever too. The two of you will have lots to speak of.’

Well, I certainly cannot wait to meet him,’ you forced out a smile before quickly getting on with your meal despite losing all your appetite. At that moment, your stomach felt like a hollow pit, eating away at you, ironically.

‘You know, if you gave this all a chance, you might find yourself to actually enjoy it in the end,’ your mother commented with a tight lip. 

‘I am sure I shall enjoy it then, as it means that it has all, in fact, ended.’ You sighed deeply, ‘I simply do not understand why this is a must in my life? Why must I marry this instant?’

‘Do not worry, dear. You are still young; you still have plenty of time, ' your father said, missing your point entirely and making you roll your eyes. ‘But your mother is right, too, a more agreeable attitude towards this will make things much easier.’

‘For whom, exactly? Is it for me to enjoy myself, or for everyone else as you will not have to endure me any longer?’

‘Can you really blame us?’ Nicholas mumbled, receiving a kick in the shin in return. He spent the rest of the discussion rubbing the targetted spot on his leg with a pained crease between his brows. You, besides gaining the small victory of maiming your brother, found yourself yet again on the losing side of another family dispute. Like all its predecessors, this battle ended with you pushing back your chair with a harsh scrape of the panelled floor and slugging back to your room where a dress awaited. 

It was beautiful; you could not deny that. Elegant and straightforward, it accented all your finest assets for interested suitors. It was comfortable: not too heavy or too textured in its pattern, it was made of soft material that slipped right on, with the fit of a well-tailored glove. Your hair was pulled up and out of your face, leaving nothing to hide behind. 

‘You look lovely, miss,’ your maid said with a kind smile as she put the final pin in your hair. 

‘Thank you, Claire.’ You muttered, noticing the saddened sympathy enveloping her features as she knew like no other how much you detested everything about what you were about to go through. ‘Have you got any advice? On how to endure it all?’

‘I’m afraid not,’ she shrugged, brushing something off your shoulder. ‘I suppose you could try making them uninterested in you, so they will want to leave sooner.’

‘That thought has crossed my mind,’ you admitted, ‘but I also do not want to put my entire family to shame.’ 

‘Of course, miss.’ Claire nodded. As she finished working on your presentation, you pondered over your possibilities. Indeed, presenting yourself as improper had been your first idea, and its appeal remained, but you were too afraid of the repercussions. If the gentlemen were to think of you as a lady without any manners, all it would do was put your upbringing up for question, something your parents did not deserve whatsoever. 

You also considered spreading gossip about the men coming to introduce themselves, which would scare your mother off them immediately, ensuring they were never to return by your parents’ preference. But it felt cruel to make up such lies. You were sure that in other circumstances, these were perfectly fine men. At this particular moment, you just happened to despise them and everything they stood for.

Perhaps the most appealing option was to simply not attend the audience. To run away and never to return… at least until the afternoon, once all the men had lost all their patience. But that would only cause you more trouble.

The ideas rolled around your head for the rest of the day, even once the suitors sat opposite you in the room. It was all incredibly dull, if not just mortifyingly humiliating, with your mother sitting only across the room, occupying herself with a book, or so it seemed because she most definitely was listening to the conversations attempted on your part.

‘So,’ as most of the dialogues began, the Lord whose name you already forgot spoke, clearing his throat, ‘I hear you read.’

‘Yes, ' you said, blinking to avoid staring too blankly at the wall behind the man, ignoring the balding patch atop his head. 

‘Grand,’ he smiled, somehow satisfied with your response already.

‘Do you… ride?’ you asked, hoping that at the least your mother heard your attempts at making a connection and would release you from this torment soon enough on the principle of your good sportsmanship.

‘No, God no, horses are far too beastly for my liking, unless we are speaking of the track, of course.’ The man scoffed, ‘However, I prefer more dignified activities, such as hunting.’ 

‘Of course, you do,’ you smiled, but the expression never reached your eyes. ‘What about chess? Do you play?’

‘I do not have the patience to commit to such silly games.’

Patience, you thought, or intelligence? And how ironic of him to speak of perseverance. You watched him take another small sandwich from the tea tray provided on a side table, which you were taught to ignore so as not to be observed as “gluttonous”. After all, no one wanted to marry a lady that ate all day. 

Considering that, you grabbed a plate and a piece of cake from the top of the tray and bit into it. The soft sponge melted on your tongue. In the meantime, you were asked a question, but you could not possibly answer with a mouthful of cake, could you? Once you had finished, you considered grabbing a second portion, but you could feel the judgmental look of your mother digging into the back of your head. 

You put the plate back down and your hands on your lap. 

‘I’m sorry, my lord, could you repeat the question, please. I fear I may have lost myself for a moment.’ And so, it continued. Thankfully, the man excused himself not long after, thanking you and your mama for the time, just for his seat to be replaced with someone else almost immediately. This time, the gentleman was significantly younger, with thick hair atop his head and charming eyes, but the second he spoke, you knew this would not reach much further than the comfort of this room. At the least, you did not see this relationship going any further than any of the other acquaintances you had made that day.

By lunchtime, you felt your eyes burning with fatigue, possibly caused by a constant suppression of tears. How much more could you possibly take of this torture?

‘Mr Elton was quite a charmer, was he not?’ Your mother commented as she sipped her tea. 

You suppressed your initial thought, rephrasing it to cause less offence, ‘He is too stubborn and self-centred. He barely let me speak a single word, too occupied by his own achievements to expect me to have any.’ 

‘Well, Lord Frankworth seemed to care very much for what you had to say.’ 

‘Only because he barely managed to string any thoughts together himself,’ you sighed. 

Your mother tightened her grip on the teacup before smiling. ‘Soon enough, we will find you a perfectly fine young man, dear. You just have to remain open-minded.’ She glanced at the clock. ‘Speaking of, your next suitor should be here shortly.’ 

You did everything in your power not to groan at the announcement and instead nodded politely. ‘Who is it?’ 

‘Mr Harrington, the one your father was so keen on you meeting.’

‘Ah,’ yes, the American. The only thing that gave you some slight hope in the situation was that Mr Harrington had already spent plenty of time in the company of your father and brother Nicholas and had seemingly gained their blessing. But nothing could help you gain the energy to entertain yet another man with polite conversation. The sun had been beaming into the room since the early morning, only growing warmer and warmer, making the hairs at the small of your neck stick. 

‘Will you just excuse me for a moment, mother.’ You got up. 

‘Is something wrong?’ She looked suspicious but with a glint of worry in her eye. 

‘I am quite fine, just require some fresh air, I think,’ which was not entirely a lie.

‘Alright then, just make haste, child.’ Mr Harrington was on his way, after all. ‘We do not want to keep the man waiting.’ 

‘Of course not,’ you smiled, heading towards the door. When the large panels closed behind you, you picked up your skirt and ran toward the gardens. Your footsteps echoed through the corridors, and you caught several members of the house staff glancing your way with inquisitive looks. 

Ever since you could remember, the grounds around Ridlington Park had a fantastical power about them. It had been the turf on which you would spend countless childhood summer days playing games with your siblings, whether the competitive or imaginary type. But no matter what the six of you could think of, your favourite game would always remain Hide and Go Seek. The gardens were a perfect place for it, with endless nooks and crannies one could disappear into. It was nearly a giant maze, and you had mastered it from a very young age. Whilst most got lost between the shrubbery and flowers, you knew exactly where you had found yourself. 

There were plenty of hiding spots you enjoyed over the years, some that to this day remain a mystery to the rest of your family, but nonetheless, it was the stables you adored the most. It was a safe haven for you on many days, to the point that you had nearly become invisible to the staff working there. 

The stables were located in the far east corner of the grounds, and the walk towards it already cost more time than you had if you had ever planned on returning that quickly. Undeniably, there was a pinch of shame and guilt nipping at your heart towards the strange Mr Harrington, but that soon dissolved when you heard the neighing of Barley Sugar, a golden-brown mare you proudly called yours. A gift and result of a successful business trade made by your father years ago, the horse technically belonged to all of the Byrnwick children, as much as any of the other horses under the family’s possession, but the bond between you and that particular horse just turned out to be that much stronger. 

This was visible as soon as you entered the stable. Barley Sugar went wild at your presence, happily swinging her head from side to side. 

‘Oh, we can both use an escape, I see,’ you grinned, petting the horse, who leaned into your touch immediately. ‘How about I get you out of here, hmm?’

But your plans were quickly interrupted by a voice. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea, ma’am.’ 

❀❀❀

An average sea voyage from the Americas to England should take approximately 16 days, considering the weather corresponds with the sails of the ship. During this journey, passengers would most likely endure days upon days of heavy and tall waves bashing across the ship’s sides, and that is to be expected in favourable conditions.

As Lord Byrnwick and his eldest had boarded the ship headed to London, the sky had been bright blue, and it did not change far beyond that. There was, of course, a risk for the two of them to sail across the world as they did, them being head of the family and its heir. A journey such as this one can go awry in many ways, and if it were not for the dangers of seafaring, there were the Anglo-American tensions to consider. After all, the previous year's war was still fresh in everyone’s mind, and one could not be careful enough when entertaining both sides. Luckily for the Byrnwicks, they were not of the superstitious kind, and good fortune had always seemed to be in the family’s favour up until the very moment they stepped on the boat to return home, many years beyond that. 

Ever the convivial one, the most considerable success of the trip, according to Lord Byrnwick, was not the business or diplomatic aspects of their ventures but the social. The man immensely enjoyed meeting other like-minded spirits from across the pond, and there had been plenty of fine nights at gentleman’s clubs spent over fine spirits and betting games, discussing all sorts of topics and exchanging information on all subjects. Promises were made to keep in touch whilst arrangements were made for more future meetings. It was only the polite thing to do. 

But aside from acquaintances and business partners, an addition to the household had also been made. Of some sort, that is, for it seemed that the two had found a new groom in America.

Now, Gentle Reader, do not conclude of the worst, as the groom we speak of is not the sort one is meant to meet at an altar but the kind who spends his days tending the horses and carriages. The young man, Mr Munson, had been doing precisely that when the Byrnwick heir stumbled upon his conveyance services in town, in dire need of transport for his regular means, which had already been occupied by his father for the day. It was an encounter by utter chance but certainly one with greater consequences. 

Several days later, coincidentally, a letter from London had arrived. Five pages long, each written by a member of the family recounting their most notable memories of the week. The children spoke of the ton's gossip and anecdotes of what occurred at home. Mother, however, took it upon herself to write of more important matters regarding the household. Many topics had to be discussed, but in the middle of her letter, there was mention of the unfortunate passing of the family’s barn manager, Mr Falstipp. It was an unexpected death, leaving the entire house in shock as the man had been working for the family for longer than the children had been alive. But it also resulted in the question of what was to be done now? 

It was likely only because the interaction had been so fresh in his mind that Nicholas suggested finding a replacement for Mr Falstipp here in America. This was an unusual offer, as his father commented, especially since they would not leave for home until another few days, but that was to be resolved by having the footmen take care of the horses for the time being. Besides, Nicholas was sure his siblings would be more than happy to help with the chores. 

The next day, he returned to the public stables and immediately noted how much cleaner they seemed than any other in town. The horses also looked exceptionally well taken care of and content. 

Mr Munson had just been feeding a colt when Nicholas eagerly announced, ‘Mr Munson, may I offer you a proposition?’ 

This, to no surprise, startled the other man for various reasons. ‘Sir?’ 

‘This must be a peculiar request, but you see, as of recently, my family has found itself in need of a new stablehand and from what I have seen you do, you, sir, would be the perfect candidate.’ Nicholas had the smile of a man losing his sanity, but his words could not be more genuine. 

‘Your family—’ Munson blinked, ‘you mean in London.’

‘Yes, and I understand that this might be a problem, but trust me when I say that you will most certainly find England to your liking, Mr Munson.’

‘Please, call me Eddie.’ 

‘As you wish,’ Nicholas agreed. 

Eddie pondered over the offer for a short moment. It would have taken him no time to decide if it was not for what he was to leave behind, but he knew that his current employer would be able to find his replacement in no time, as jobs in town were hard to come by. 

But what must have been even more challenging to obtain was a ticket out of the wasteland he called home. For years, he had dreamt of an escape, never imagining it to be possible, and suddenly, here comes this stranger offering it to him on a silver platter. 

It would be terrifying to move so far away, he knew that, with many risks, but the further away he could manage to go from where he was now, the better. 

Eventually, after a minute of silence that left Nicholas restless and on the verge of embarrassment, Eddie smiled: ‘It would be my pleasure to work for you, sir.’ And he had meant that wholeheartedly. While it had only been a short few interactions that he had had with the man, the young Mr Byrnwick had already shown Eddie far more kindness than any of his prior employers, or any other man in his life, for a fact. Most importantly, the man knew nothing about Eddie’s past, which must have been the biggest selling point in the life-changing choice. 

‘Marvelous. You will not regret this, Eddie.’ Nicholas leaned in to shake his hand, only to realise that Eddie was still carrying the giant bucket of feed. ‘Well, we shall finalise everything on the boat, shall we?’ And so they did. 

A week later, Eddie found himself still in shock at his circumstances. He could not believe he was really to be leaving for England until the moment he set foot on the boat, and even once the sails had set and the American coast was nothing but a grim line on the horizon, the fact did not seem to settle in his mind just yet. 

Over the next 16 days, he had encountered the Byrnwicks only a handful of times. First, to meet Lord Byrnwick who, as head of the household, wanted a final say on the matter. A bit late, thought  Eddie, as the boat had long departed the harbour by then, but his ticket had already been paid for, and thus, he had little else to complain about. He had quickly made peace with the idea that he could make his new life across the ocean work no matter the circumstances. He had done it before, so what is one more homeless night under a new sky?

But the lord seemed all too happy to have found his staff replacement. Overall, the man was nothing like Eddie had expected a gentleman of English high society to be. From his previous experiences, the type often was rather conceited and arrogant, with a transparent opinion of anyone below their class. His new employer and his son, while undoubtedly lordly, had a modest nature about them. Quickly, Eddie had also gathered that the spontaneity with which Nicholas Byrnwick had called upon him for a job opportunity was not uncharacteristic of him, as the young man was rather energetic in his step and impulsive in his actions. 

But no matter how unassuming the men were, they did belong to a different rank of man and, therefore, stayed on the boat to the upper decks, engaging with the rest of their kind. 

The travel moved on slowly, but in the end, it was also a mere blink of an eye moment, and before he had realised it, Eddie had reached the shores of England. It was another day or two of travel to be done by horse. A carriage had been acquired for Nicholas and his father, but Eddie and the rest of the staff that travelled with the family for their adventure rode on horseback. No matter how much Eddie enjoyed the form of transportation, it was a tiring experience after several hours, but it also allowed him to meet the people he was to work with and, through that, those he would work for. 

‘So, what is the rest of the family like,’ he asked Mr Trowbridge, the lord’s valet. If there was anyone who could tell Eddie something, it would be this man. 

‘Well,’ Mr Trowbridge had a particularly nasal tone about his voice that especially came forward at the beginning of his sentences, ‘I do not believe there is much to tell. They are as any other family, really.’ 

‘My good man, you can hardly expect me to believe there is nothing worth telling about these people,’ Eddie laughed. ‘If it puts your mind at ease, I am only asking for the simplest facts—nothing to interest my fancy.’

The valet pondered over this for a moment. ‘Very well. You have, of course, met the Viscount and his eldest.’ He took a moment for Eddie to respond with a nod in agreement. He then took another moment to consider his following words. The longer he took, the more keen Eddie felt to suggest what to speak of. 

‘What about Lady Byrnwick?’

‘Lady Byrnwick is most amiable and has a very caring character, but you will not find her in the stables often unless she is searching for her children.’

‘Not fond of horses, is she?’

‘Rather the outside—-’ Trowbridge cleared his hair vigorously. ‘In the sense that the sun and pollen often leave her poorly. But the children…’ he punctuated his half-sentence with a heavy sigh. 

‘They are a handful?’ Eddie assumed. To this, Trowbridge searched for another description but found himself lacking the vocabulary, leading to a confirmation. 

‘I have worked for this family for nearly three decades, and I will assure you that each member is as proper a member of society as the next. While boisterous, they have been taught to be independent individuals.’ The valet's tone made Eddie consider how much of their good decorum was in gratitude for the man’s own intervention and guidance. 

‘At 27 years, Nicholas is the eldest, and the responsibilities of this role are one of the few aspects of his life which he takes seriously, I cannot put any doubt behind that.’ Indeed, whilst extremely impetuous, the heir’s son also understood the duties of his position and towards his family. 

‘Then there is Christopher. The boy has immense athletic abilities but not much beyond that. For a young man of his age of five and twenty, one would assume he would be able to compose himself with a bit more propriety, but it is very difficult for him. He is adventurous and rarely can sit still for an extended period of time, including his mouth. It is suggested that people be careful of what they say around the man.

‘The eldest daughter, Annabelle, married just before we had departed for America, thus is now the lady of her own house.’ Something in his tone suggested he was sad to see the young woman leave home. This possibly has to do with the fact that Miss Annabelle (Now known as Duchess Annabelle Ramsbury) was the most dutiful and respectful of the six children. ‘The marriage had been long overdue as she had just turned 22 on the day of the ceremony, but a love match was found nonetheless.’ The valet guffawed with pride. It was clear to Eddie that, while considering them a nuisance, the man cared deeply for the family he served.

‘I must admit, Trowbridge,’ Eddie chuckled in this horse’s trot pattern over the uneven paths. ‘When you began speaking of the family, I had imagined the children to be… well, children.’

‘How old are you, Munson?’ Trowbridge asked, somewhat bluntly. 

‘Twenty, sir.’ Perhaps closer to his next birthday than the last.

‘Ah, just the age of the second daughter then,’ he nodded in agreement. ‘She may perhaps be the most… rebellious of the kin. It is all in good spirit, as you must imagine, and I am sure the interest in such nonsense will dwindle as she matures. She is also the most fond of the family horses; thus, you will see her quite often, I expect. But as her sibling, she has mastered the care for the animals as well as the equipment.’ 

As he spoke of your skills, something about Trowbridge's expression communicated particular dismay to Eddie. ‘Is that bad? For a young woman to know how to carry herself around a horse?’ He, for one, certainly did not see a problem in it. On the contrary, it was an instrumental skill to develop for anyone. 

‘It is not exactly lady-like, is it?’ Trowbridge spoke as if that was the only relevant argument on the matter. Eddie had learned from a very young age that some opinions were better left unsaid, and seeing him as the senior in age and position, Eddie thought it unwise to argue with the valet on his first official day of employment. He instead simply nodded in understanding. Instead, he opted to continue the civil interrogation—

‘What of the youngest two? What are they like?’

‘Fitzwilliam is a dapper fellow. He is but seventeen, but very accomplished, though I cannot say he knows how to put his acquired skills to good use. He has ambitions that cannot be denied; it is just a question of whether these ambitions can ever be met. 

‘And lastly, we have Miss Marjorie. A darling girl, I assure you,’ Trowbridge stated. I can only suggest not letting her size fool you, Munson. She has managed to wrap her family around her little fingers the moment she learned to mumble a word, leaving her to cause quite the ruckus for the past eleven years.’ 

‘I do not see how that involves me, Sir,’ Eddie said. By this time, the sun had begun to set over the fields they passed, and soon, the company would break for their overnight travels at a nearby inn. 

‘It had come to my attention over the years that Mr Falstipp–the previous groom, that is— had been quite lenient on the children and their usage of the horses. This has caused a number of incidents that I would rather not see a repetition of.’

‘Understood.’ 

‘I am unaware of your er– American customs,’ the valet began his lecture, ‘but you must also know that here, ladies are not to ride unaccompanied—something that has been protested in the family to no avail, but it is simply the procedure. There must always be a chaperone nearby to supervise, whether that is a senior member of the family or an entrusted member of the household.’ 

‘I do not expect to have gained that trust just yet,’ Eddie said earnestly.

‘But let us hope you will.’ The smile Trowbridge gave Eddie was kind at first glance, but the movement of his eyes that inspected him told an entirely different story. He knew he still had much to learn about navigating himself around the kinds of people that were the Byrnwicks, even those who worked for them. The moment he set foot on English soil, he knew it would be challenging to fit in if he ever planned to do so. 

The truth is that he did not plan such a change. For you see, Dear Reader, Mr Eddie Munson was also a radical. He did not believe in adapting to society, which was visible in his entire being. One can also imagine the struggle he had to endure when given a uniform to wear. Frankly, the ensemble did not differ much from how the man dressed himself before, but the simple fact that he was told to wear this particular set of clothing upset him severely. 

On the first day after his arrival at Ridlington Park, he had managed to justify himself out of dressing in the required clothing by claiming that the trousers were a smidgen too tight. Without another size available, he was told to wear the clothes on his back until the new, fitted attire arrived.

But the clothes did not even begin to reach the problem of the horses he was meant to care for. 

Turned out, while he had been given all sorts of warnings against the family, what Eddie should have been preparing for was the beasts that homed the stables. The stubborn animals would not let him touch them, and any attempts were met with angry stares and stomping of the hooves. 

‘Easy, there,’ Eddie spoke as softly as he could, taking small steps in any direction that would not enrage the stallion whom he was currently attempting to feed. White Liquorice, a white Arabian, was undoubtedly an animal worthy of a viscount, and from the moment he had stepped into the Ridlington Park stables, Eddie knew that the Kentucky Saddlers and Quarter Horses he grew up with were no match for these and he would quickly have to learn to get on with them if he was to stay here. 

Yes, the first days were hard, but not even one week later, he had gotten used to the rhythm of operations. It helped that, working as the barn manager, he was the one in charge and mostly left alone. Mr Trowbridge had visited him to ensure he was adjusting to the new working conditions, which was kind, but besides that, Eddie rarely saw anyone but footmen requesting the carriage to be prepared for the family. 

That is until one afternoon when he heard the doors open and someone walking inside. He had been around the corner of the stables, cleaning some grooming tools. 

‘Oh, we can both use an escape, I see,’ he heard the intruder speak. It was soft and gentle, most likely referring to one of the horses. Immediately, Eddie was reminded of one of the conversations shared with Lord Byrnwick’s valet. He swiftly got up from his seat and immediately found the culprit. 

He watched you pet one of the horses—Barley Sugar, was it—-petting her in a way he had not yet managed to do confidently. ‘How about I get you out of here, hmm?’ These words triggered him to jump into action. 

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea, ma’am.’ He stepped forward, but his words startled you, causing you to turn around. As you did so, your foot got caught in an old set of bridles Eddie had still planned on detangling and putting away. The surprise coming with the unexpected presence of someone else, combined with the awkward position of your foot, led you to fall over with a shriek. 

Eddie cursed under his breath as he watched you huff on the ground. ‘Let me help you,’ he extended his hand to you, ‘and my apologies, it was not my intent to—’ 

‘Who are you?’ you said in a tone that could only be deemed skittish, if not directly fearful, but not enough to deny his offer to help you stand. Your reaction was validated as you had never met the man standing before you. You eyed him up and down, and the more details you noticed, the more you were sure that you had just stumbled upon a robbery, nay, a kidnapping. 

The man's presentation spoke for itself, truly. His long hair was dark and unkept, well over his shoulders. His clothes were nothing like the workers around your house were meant to dress like, making him stick out like a very sore thumb. The trousers were old and worn, and the shirt was loose over his upper body, revealing—oh god, was that a tattoo?

It was clear this is how you were to die.

‘Are you here to steal my horses?’ you blurted out before you could think. 

‘What?’ He blinked. ‘No, please, listen—’ but you did no such thing. Instead, you did the only thing a lady in distress could do. 

You screamed bloody murder. 

‘Help! Anyone! Help—’  you would have kept on going, shouting over his attempt at reason until he finally shut you up by placing his hand over your mouth, his other hand sturdily over your upper arm. The two of you stood there for a moment, chests both heaving in all forms of panic, listening for footsteps or any other presence, but the only sound was the soft breathing of the animals around you. 

‘I will let go now, miss,’ Eddie said slowly. Both your eyes were wide from the uncultivated situation that had just occurred. ‘And I will explain everything to you, just, please—and I beg you— do not scream.’ You nodded your head beneath his palm in agreement. Eddie counted to three as he stepped back and finally let go of you. Despite him never blocking your airways, you inhaled deeply. 

‘There is absolutely no reason to panic, ma’am.’ His accent was distant, one you had never had the pleasure of hearing before. His eyes, large and dark, locked you in, almost making you lose count of the lingering feeling of his hands on your body. He had given you a moment before he continued speaking, ensuring that you would not resume your screaming or make a run for it.

‘What is your reason of being here?’ You inquired. 

‘I work here. Have been, for the past week. I think it was your brother, in fact, that gave me the position. We met on his travels.’ 

Now, come to think of it, you remembered your family's conversation on the day your father and brother returned. There had been talk of new staff—a young man they had brought along with them from America as an official replacement for the late Mr Falstipp. But that did not explain his attire. 

‘You could be fired for breaking the dress code alone, you know. Not to mention for the, uhm, actions you had just performed.’ You commented.

‘Well, you can always report me, miss.’ Eddie, against all his better judgement, smiled. 

‘Maybe I should.’ Your heart was still pounding, and you felt so disoriented that even a simple smile made your head spin. ‘What is your name?’

‘Eddie.’

‘Well, Mr Eddie—’ you began, just to be quickly interrupted.

‘No, just Eddie.’ Eddie shook his head.

‘What do you mean? Do you have no family name?’ You had heard of men bringing in street urchins to work for them, but surely, this man was too old for such charity. And you could not imagine your brother to perform such acts of kindness anyway.

‘I do.’ His smile only widened in amusement at the conversation. ‘Eddie Munson.’

‘My, is it usual in America to introduce oneself like that?’ Never had you heard of a man introducing himself by only his first name, let alone a byname. 

‘It is usual to me,’ he quipped, ‘And it is more common than not introducing yourself at all.’ The way in which he looked up at you from under his lashes felt accusatory, but you could not find it within you to be upset at the critique, so you gave him your name instead. 

‘Pleasure to meet you, Miss Byrnwick.’ He gave you a small, polite bow that reminded you more of how children play Lord and Lady rather than a gentlemanly act. Next thing you knew, a smile was pulling at the corner of your lips, and a small giggle was ready to escape. 

For some reason, you hesitated to say your following words: ‘It is a pleasure, Mr Munson.’

‘Please, call me Eddie.’ While always respecting the titles of others, Eddie never saw himself as one to follow such formalities. 

‘That is most improper.’ You held back the urge to scoff. 

‘But I insist.’ There was something in the corner of his eye that you managed to catch a glimpse of—this spark that no sunlight or fire could match. It was pure mischief, a spirit of chaos. But still, to call a man you barely knew by his first name was simply not right. Your family may jest as they please about your rebelling attitude to primitive customs, but you had to admit that some things ought to be done in a proper manner. And this was certainly not it. 

However, Mr Munson saw it in another light but did not find enough of an interest in the subject enough to argue it further. Rather, he cleared his throat briefly and observed you for a moment. 

How silly you must look in your fancy dress! Your hair was done up to match, and your shoes were most likely covered in mud. There was also no doubt that he had overheard you talking to your horse about running away. You had good faith that he could connect the pieces to form the complete picture. 

A bird flew past a window, making you glance past Eddie’s shoulder in haste. 

‘I hope I am not keeping you from any other plans, miss?’ He finally asked. Could you be so bold as to admit that he was saving you from other commitments by conversing with you?

‘No, of course, not Mr Munson,’ you persisted. ‘I am simply cautious.’ Come to think of it, your screams must have been heard all around the grounds. If those who heard, in turn, had an ounce of common sense amongst them, they would have called for someone in the house. If that was the case, your mother would be here momentarily, and then it was back to the house for you. All you could do now was hide. 

‘May I ask what are you being cautious of?’ Eddie followed you with his eyes as you walked through the stables, looking for a hiding spot. 

‘If you must know, I am currently on the run,’ you stated while looking over a haystack in the far corner. 

‘Ah, so whilst you had accused me of being a criminal, it was you who had been committing the crimes then? Should I now scream for help?’

‘I’d rather you didn’t, ' you said, attempting to climb the hay to get past it. ‘I have already brought much too much attention to myself.’ Your foot slipped, making you tumble back down to the ground. The accident made you stop for a moment before attempting to climb again, looking over your shoulder at the man. ‘Are you not going to even try and stop me?’ 

‘Oh,’ it was as if he had awakened from a deep thought or had just realised that what you suggested was exactly what he ought to do. ‘Well, would you listen if I told you not to climb up there?’ 

You pondered his question for a short moment. ‘No, I highly doubt it.’ Thus, you resumed your climbing. As you did, you heard the shuffling of his feet behind you. The next time you slipped up, this time from a far higher distance, he had been in precisely the right place to catch you in his arms. 

‘I cannot assure you I will be able to catch you once more, so it is in good conscience that I suggest you stop, ma’am,’ he said as you got back to your feet. 

‘You are right,’ you admitted. Then you realised just how close the two of you stood and quickly occupied yourself by looking for another hiding place. That is when you noticed it. You had spent years in this stable and knew every inch of the space, yet… ‘Have you moved things around?’ You looked back at Eddie. 

‘Only a little. I’m afraid my predecessor did not have a flair for organisation,’ he explained.

‘That may be so, but I would prefer you would put things back as they were.’ 

‘Excuse me?’ Eddie could not help but laugh at the demand.

‘Your new floor plan has completely disoriented me, ' you admitted. ‘It is unbecoming.’

‘My apologies. I will be sure to put things back as they were, then.’ His laugh still echoed his words.

You had not expected him to actually agree to this request. ‘You will?’ But quickly, you regained your composure and tried to hide the surprise in your voice. ‘Very well, thank you. Then, since you have discarded all of my possible hiding locations, what do you suggest I should do?’ 

‘I suggest you run.’ But it was not Eddie who had answered you. 

‘Mother, ' you gasped. What was it, in God’s good name, with everyone sneaking up on you today? Lady Byrnwick stood at the threshold of the stables with her arms crossed. Her lips tightened into a thin line as she took a step inside. You prepared yourself for a disciplinary outburst, but instead, your mother focused on the man standing next to you. 

‘You must be Mr Munson.’ The kindness in her voice was laughable. The overcompensation of her kindness threw both you and Eddie off. 

‘Yes, Ma’am.’ You noticed that he bowed his head in a much more orderly fashion than he had done to you. 

‘I hope my daughter has not been too much of a nuisance.’ 

‘Not at all.’ Eddie politely replied. 

‘Good, good. Well, I can already see that my son did a good job in finding you,’ she stated as she looked around the retouched interior. ‘And I hope that you will grow to enjoy England.’

‘I’ve had nothing to complain of yet.’ Eddie proudly said with that smile of his, and for a moment, you thought to have caught his eyes on you for just a second. Your mother nodded along with his words in satisfaction, but this cheeriness dissipated as soon as she directed herself to you. 

‘Has your headache cleared, dear?’ Her eyes were spitting fire. 

‘Yes, mother.’ 

‘Then we will be on our way.’ She stepped aside, giving you room to walk outside. ‘Goodbye, Mr Munson.’ Eddie had become the unintentional victim of the venom that perferred your mother's words. 

He was polite enough to look away as you made your shameful walk through the aisle between the horses’ stalls, but you couldn’t help but look behind you one final time as you left and catch his favourable grin. What a peculiar man he was, indeed—one whose presence you immediately began to miss. 

Perhaps that was because of the company you were in at the time. 

‘Have you gone completely mad?’ Your mother scowled. ‘Mr Harrington has been waiting for well over half an hour.’

‘He is still here?’ You stopped in your tracks. This day could not have gone any worse. It seemed like everything you had been doing was working in your favour.

‘Yes, so you better come up with a clever excuse for your tardiness as I will not be embarrassed any longer. I swear, have you no shame?’

‘I am truly sorry mother, I had lost track of the time.’

‘Doing what exactly? What were you doing in the stables, exactly? Considering you had told me you were going out for some fresh air.’ Yes, the air around the horses was not exactly to be called “fresh.” 

Unfortunately, you had no satisfying answer to any of your mother’s questions. Come to it, you yourself were unsure what exactly had brought you there in the first place, not to mention what made you stay. It must have been a sense of child-like naivete to think you could hide from your problems the way you attempted. 

Problems that were coming closer as Mr Harrington walked towards you through the aisle of hyacinths that grew all around you in various colours. 

‘What is he doing here?’ you mumbled towards your mother.

‘Considering the lovely weather, I had offered for us to sit out in the gardens.’ Your mother spoke out loud. That is when you noticed the set table and chairs under a large parasol on the patio. 

‘I hope you do not mind. I took the initiative of taking a stroll in your absence.’ Mr Harrington spoke in a cadence that would have been new to you if not for the fact that you had spent the last hour in the presence of a very similar tone. 

‘Of course, not,’ your mother had regained her ability to smile. ‘May I introduce my daughter.’ And so she did. 

‘I am sorry to have kept you waiting, sir. I completely lost track of time.’ You apologised and were ready to offer your hand to Mr Harrington when you noticed how filthy your gloves had become. In a panic, you pushed both your hands behind your back, trying to distract the man with a wide grin.

‘The important thing is that we are all here now,’ he manoeuvred, which you could not help but agree with, then led you to the patio. 

The next hour went by faster than you had ever imagined it would. Mr Steve Harrington turned out to be not only a great conversationalist but a rather fascinating one at that. It was only a fault of your own that you were distracted for a larger part of the conversation. There was simply something about the man’s brown eyes that constantly reminded you of somewhere else. He was very charming and, abiding by your brother’s promises, had a great, though perhaps somewhat awkward, wit. It seemed that his confidence, once clearly overt, had been lowered, causing him to stumble over his words at times and laugh at his own mistakes in a deprecating manner, but never enough to make it a bother in your eyes. Truly, it was all rather endearing.

But you could not, for the life of you, figure out what exactly caused these fumblings in his character, as nothing seemed to be particularly wrong with the man. Though you did not see him as an academic or scholar of any sort, from the way he spoke, you could tell he was one of the more clever men you had the fortune of meeting. And his looks were certainly no topic of discussion either. He was tall and lean, with a wonderful smile and soft brown hair that apparently was more common than imagined, as were those dark eyes and the way he held you in his arms—

You took a sip of the cold water as Mr Harrington expressed his gratitude to your mother for the audience and made sure the message would be conveyed to Lord Byrnwick, too. You nodded and smiled along. Even when he bid you farewell and bowed his head, your mind was elsewhere. As if expecting something to emerge from behind the hyacinths, you could not help but glance in the Eastern direction of the gardens. 

‘See, it was not all that bad, was it?’ your mother immediately said, pulling you back to the patio. By then, Mr Harrington had excused himself and was crossing the patio to the exit from the grounds but had turned briefly for a final goodbye, which you met with a polite wave. 

‘No, I suppose you are right, mother.’ You had persevered against all odds. As you watched the gentleman leave, you felt quite content with the meeting—happy, some would even say. The only problem was that you could not make quite clear what, or rather, who brought on this particular mood.

To be continued...

Thank you so much for reading!! I really do hope you enjoyed this chapter. Remember the best way to support writers is to reblog and share. I love to hear what people think of my stories so feel free to leave a comment or an ask or message.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson au #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #angst #fluff #regency au #eddie munson regency au #regency!au #regency!eddie munson

[adore-laur]

DAD HARRY BLURB

— i wrote this in less than two days, so sorry if it’s incohesive

——

With chopsticks delicately perched between his fingertips, Harry distractedly picked at the steaming bowl of spicy chow mein noodles in his hand. The bright glow of the TV screen was the only illumination in the living room, and his tired eyes were glued to some documentary about snow monkeys. Beyond the curtains was a pitch-black sky. The ocean waves outside were calm. A steady noise came from the humidifier. The ambiance was ideal for a good night's sleep, but your hyperactive mind made it a futile endeavor.

In the dead of night, your cheek found a cozy home on Harry's shoulder—it was sturdy, warm, and the collector of your tears. He was the one you leaned on most in the last nine months, when exhaustion and discomfort pounded into your bones. To quell your frustration, he massaged your swollen feet with attentive precision, shaved your legs when you couldn't see anything below your baby bump, adjusted to your hormonal mood swings with empathy, and cooked your favorite meals when getting out of bed felt like a chore. Above all, he made you feel beautiful each time your body changed. And as those changes came quickly and ruthlessly, he let it be known that his attraction to you wasn't fading. Not in the slightest.

In fact, it seemingly grew tenfold the moment you had told Harry you were pregnant. You noticed his gaze lingering on your body more often, with an obsessive hunger darkening his irises. Throughout your pregnancy, he paid special attention to the widening shape of your hips, the heaviness of your breasts, and the blooming swell of your stomach. He had documented the overall progression by taking weekly side-view pictures of your bump. He also wrote down milestones in his journal, like when the baby first kicked and where he had been when he found out the gender.

The obsession went both ways. With your zany hormones, you were more attracted to Harry more than ever. It was borderline insane how often you wanted to jump his bones. He gained some sympathy weight and let his hair grow out. He embraced his stubble, which was a weakness of yours since you first started dating him. Most tempting was how seriously he prepared himself for fatherhood—building the crib with his bare hands, deep cleaning the house to show his appreciation, reading parenting books and asking you to quiz him on the content, and simply doting on you when you weren’t feeling like the best version of yourself. Needless to say, you were insatiable around him, and he gladly entertained your desires with an equal amount of fervency. The flame of romance was never snuffed out.

When the documentary ended, you rubbed your eyes and sighed. Anxiety about knowing the baby could come any minute had made you an insomniac, hence the midnight TV and leftovers session with your husband who was also itching for something to happen. You both were getting a head start on sleep deprivation at least; not that it was something to brag about.

At almost forty-one weeks pregnant, your baby girl was taking her sweet time. The obstetrician had said you would have to be induced if nothing progressed in two days. While holed up in the house, waiting for the first sign of labor, you and Harry had tried everything to try to kickstart the process—walking along the beach, eating spicy food like the chow mein Harry cooked tonight, and even desperate rounds of sex every morning since your due date passed. Nothing worked, causing frustration to build on both ends. The hospital bags were packed and waiting by the front door, and impatience gnawed away at your sanity every time you looked at them.

"Gotta pee," you said, sitting up with a groan. Your lower back ached, one of the many reasons why sleeping was so unachievable.

Harry offered you his hand without a second thought, giving you leverage to get off the couch. The motion left you winded as you slowly waddled to the bathroom just down the hall, blindly touching the walls before reaching the light switch. You flicked it on, your eyes squinting against the harsh ceiling light. In the mirror above the sink, you stared at your reflection. Harry's shirt he lent you when your clothes no longer fit was stretched awkwardly over your stomach. You forewent wearing pants around the house because you simply couldn't be bothered. Altogether, you looked as miserable as you felt. As much as you were terrified to give birth, you just wanted to get it over with so you didn't have to feel so on edge all the time.

After emptying your bladder, you washed your hands and then stretched your back by resting your forearms on the sink and bending forward. Through the achiness, you thought about Harry and how he had politely demanded the baby to come out yesterday, speaking to your bump in a hushed voice like it was a secret conversation between the two of them. Her response was several fluttery kicks to his palm, to which Harry then blew raspberries against the outline of her tiny foot—or maybe fist—to coax her out. It obviously didn't work, but it was fun to watch her move around so actively. It was like she was teasing you both, saying, Not yet, Mom and Dad. It's warm and cozy in here.

You smiled, feeling a rush of happiness at the memory. Harry was going to be such a wonderful first-time dad. He was devoted, patient, and playful in all the right moments. You had no doubt he would slip into the role perfectly. It was evident in the way he treated you, how he treated his mother, and even how he treated strangers on the street. He had so much love to give. Compassion coursed through his veins.

When you straightened your posture, a weird sensation occurred. You felt a peculiar pop, then a trickle of fluid down the insides of your thighs. You stood stock still, your fried brain working extra hard to process the situation, then looked at the floor, seeing a continuous drip of clear fluid pooling on the tiles. You knew what that meant, but you were paralyzed as glorious relief and sheer panic wrestled with your heartstrings. Had you manifested it? Or had time merely lapped you until you got dizzy? It was impossible to comprehend how the months had gone by at warp speed and also excruciatingly slow.

"Harry?" you called out apprehensively, resting your head against the wall.

A few seconds passed before he casually replied, "Yeah?"

You blew out a shaky exhale. "Come here, please."

Silence hung in the air until you heard the creak of the wood floors and the soft padding of his socked feet. You met him halfway in the dark hallway, standing awkwardly while holding your bump. The bathroom light spilled out like a spotlight shining down on you. Surely, he could see "it's time" written all over your face.

"Hi," you whispered, slightly embarrassed about the unusual state you were in. "Um... I'm pretty sure my water just broke."

Harry’s hands reached out like you were a timid animal and he was trying not to spook you. His eyes were wide as they roved over your body, unsure of how to proceed. He eventually stepped closer, then crouched to observe the fluid coating your bare legs.

"Yeah, I think it did," he said hoarsely, his voice quiet with awe. “Those noodles must have done the trick."

A hysteric, breathy laugh bubbled up your throat. "No, I think she's finally ready to meet us."

At those words, Harry's features transformed into barely restrained excitement, with deep dimples appearing beside his gorgeous smile. He cradled your bump and spoke against it, saying, "About time, baby girl. We've been going stir crazy out here."

A tear trailed down your cheek, the emotional reality hitting you with full force. This was it. This was the moment your life began to tilt toward a new purpose.

The pleasant thought was short-lived as a twinge of pain sparked in your lower abdomen. You grunted and pressed against the spot with your palm, a grimace tugging at your lips. Your belly tightened, causing you to grip Harry's shoulders for support.

"Oh, it's really happening," he said, standing and rubbing his forehead in shock. "Okay. All right. Should we..."

"Hospital," you mumbled, pinching your eyes shut.

"Right. Good thinking." Harry broke out of his trance and carefully guided you down the hall. He situated you on the couch before stressfully spinning in a circle, figuring out a plan of action. He hurried over to the two big duffel bags by the door and hefted them over his shoulders with ease. He then reached for the bowl where the car keys were, and you watched him open the front door while unlocking the car and pressing the button to open the garage door. After starting the engine and shoving the bags in the trunk, he came back inside.

"It hurts," you said weakly, groaning while hunched over. It was only going to get worse until the nurses gave you an epidural injection, which was also going to hurt. Hours, maybe even days of physical pain lay ahead, and the prospect made you want to weep.

"I know, sweetheart," Harry said. "Let's put your coat and shoes on, then we can leave."

"Hold on. Just... wait until this contraction passes."

He nodded and sat beside you. "What can I do?" he asked softly, his leg bouncing as he scanned your face.

There was no suppressing your brutal honesty when in the thick of dealing with pain. "Brush your teeth. Your breath smells—ow—like chow mein."

He blinked, then smiled like your complaint completely unaffected him. "Yes, ma'am."

While he obeyed your command, you got up and slid your sandals on. The contraction gradually subsided, but you still felt a heavy pressure near your pelvis. She was wasting no time announcing her arrival.

Harry returned with a sweatshirt and a pair of sneakers on. His hair was tied up, and despite his confident walk toward you, you knew he was nervous based on his fidgety hands and rosy cheeks.

"Let's go," you said, standing by the door.

Harry stared at you with an affectionate gleam in his eyes. "You don't have any pants on, my love."

You glanced down, raising your brows in realization. "Whoops."

He was already on his way to the bedroom, laughing and calling out behind him, "Shorts, leggings, or sweatpants?"

You struggled for an answer since none of those options would fit well enough, hence the going shamelessly pants-less at home during the past month. Eventually, you decided, "My beach skirt, please."

He quickly retrieved your long sarong wrap skirt that was made out of soft, breathable fabric. He helped you into it, adjusting the stretchy waistband over your bump. It looked ridiculous paired with Harry's casual T-shirt on your upper half, but you were comfortable, and that was what mattered most.

"Can I take a picture of you like this?" Harry asked.

You frowned. "Why?"

"Because you look beautifully disheveled right now, and I want to keep this memory forever."

With a scowl, you reluctantly agreed with a grumbled "Fine."

He took out his phone and captured a couple of candid pictures of you leaning against the wall with your hands cupped under your bump. You had no desire to smile or pose.

After shoving his phone back in his pocket, he exhaled and cupped your cheeks. "Ready to have this baby?"

You stared into his eyes, getting lost in their gentleness. "My body is screaming yes, but my mind says absolutely not."

Harry kissed you, a cool blast of mint gracing your lips. "I'm in your corner, okay? I'll be at your beck and call in that hospital room."

"Can you give birth for me?"

He chuckled, smoothing his thumbs under your eyes—you hadn't realized they were damp. "I would in a heartbeat if that were possible."

“You’ll regret saying that,” you replied dryly. “It’s not going to be a pretty sight.”

“We’ll see.” Another contraction ensued, a little more persistent than the last. Harry noticed and cautiously led you through the threshold. "Time to meet our girl,” he whispered, locking the door behind him.

Stepping into the November night, you inhaled the crisp air into your lungs, embracing the transcendent phase of life on the horizon.

——

#harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #dad!harry #dad harry #harry styles au #harry styles #adore-laur

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐄𝖝𝖊𝖈𝖚𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖗 | Teaser

When second chances are wasted, there's only one thing left to do.

Tags/Warnings: Dystopian AU, Werewolf AU, Alpha!Jungkook, Omega!Reader, Angst, Some fluff, romance but he's a bit weird about it pls let him cook he's awkward okay, Violence, crime and.. bad stuff.

-> Masterlist

There is no taglist for this fic.

A/N: oh look another werewolf fic oops. BTW if you do not like any of the tags or the trailer doesnt vibe with you, don't read the story. I literally have tons of other content for you instead. Thanks.

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“Do you think that people can change?”

No. Jungkook does not believe that people have the ability to shed their dark desires once they've shown their ugly faces to the world. Once someone has lost control over themselves and their inner demons even just once, it’s over. A wolf's inner beast set free won’t be tamed again, by anyone. There is no coming back from that- and a crime committed has to be punished, especially when there’s not even any effort put into areas trying to redeem one’s self. second chances should always be valued highly if given-

Because everyone has to face judgement for their actions, and if those second chances are wasted, he is the man who will execute the fitting punishment.

Jungkook doesn't believe in second chances.

A man who’s laid his hand on his wife will never truly change his mind and put the shackles onto himself after the line has been crossed. A cheating spouse will not suddenly become loyal as a dog again just because they realize the hurt they’ve caused. A murderer can’t give back the life they’ve taken even if they desperately want to. A young wolf lost to a frenzy can’t gain back their sanity with the snap of a finger.

He is part of the new world’s law.

Violence is the punishment put on people who can’t seem to keep themselves in check even after second chances. Violence is the final answer to the worst of the worst, the people who will never change.

Violence is the thing that changes people- from being alive to no longer being a threat to anyone ever again.

To Jungkook, these people are like maggots, infesting the cities and homes of families who just want to exist and live. Jungkook is the pest control, he removes those insects, cleans out the infestations.

Saves potential victims.

“I didn’t do anything!” the man slurs a little, alcohol in his veins causing him to visibly struggle with his bodily functions, even if he wants to desperately be sober in this moment. You’re sitting in the corner still, watching, well aware not to interfere with a man sent by the people in charge of the wolf’s law to carry out the final judgement.

“Evasion. Armed robbery, twice. Domestic abuse, twice. Attempted kidnap of a child while intoxicated.” Jungkook lists, having memorized what this person is being accused of- or rather yet, has already been judged for in the past. “You’ve shown that you do not aim to change.” He says, not even looking at you once. Instead, he just walks closer, like a predator, staring down his prey. “And now, keeping an omega hostage? Not exactly the actions of a man innocent.”

“I-“ the man tries, but he doesn’t get far with his words. “-There’s- nothing happened- Tell him! Nothing happened, right-?” He asks you, who’s staring him down.

Jungkook looks at you as well now, awaiting your answer.

You’ve got a life in your hands.

Your lips part, but you can’t speak- when suddenly, the man moves again, lifts his hand as he steps towards you, ready to intimidate you into answering if needed- but Jungkook is faster, having seen enough. Even if nothing happened- yet- surely if he was to leave, you’d be another body found. “Where- where are you taking me?” the man begs to know, unable to really go against the hand that holds the back of his head by the hair, fingers tightly dug into the locks to have a secure hold on him as he drags him into a corner or the small, run down house.

In this moment, Jungkook looks like a different person to you. There’s no trace of the man who just wants to help others. The hands that force this stranger to his knees aren’t the same that helped you stand earlier that day, hold gentle and without any intention to hurt. Those eyes are dark as coal, like two black voids swallowing any reflection whole.

“I'll take you straight to hell, where you belong.” Jungkook simply answers the man, before he lets go-

And takes out his gun, to fire the first shot of many.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook imagine #bts jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagines #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook fanfic #bts jeon jungkook imagine #bts jeon jungkook x reader

[spidernuggets]

As someone who wants to read books and novels, whether it be classics, romance, action, horror, etc, but has a difficult time doing so because it takes a long while to do so; to read the whole sentence without misreading anything and then processing what the sentence is implying, and gets so frustrating all the time, I absolutely adore people who make headcanons that Jason Todd reads to you!!!

So I present

Jason Todd Reading to You HCs/Reader who Struggles with Reading

(Starts with Reader who struggles w reading and regular Jason reading to you HCs begin after the border)

Before it became a habit of Jason reading to you, he always rambled about the new books he has been reading.

He's always either adoring the writing or complaining about love triangles or is intrigued by the plot or questions a character's decisions.

And his rants make you interested, and soon enough, you ask more questions based on whatever he is talking about.

He opens certain pages, pointing to a quote or paragraph, and then showing you hus annotations to the side.

I think Jason would either a) have 2 copies of a book. 1 softback for annotations and 1 hardback for a clean copy. Or b) a clean hardback book and a notebook marked with the book title, the date he read it, and the chapter and page that he's referencing his thoughts from.

Seeing as you're so interested in his thoughts, he recommended you some classics he thought you might curious about.

You're excited, happy that your boyfriend is opening up his nerdy, literature side to you, and you promised him you'd finish the book as soon as possible.

But when you cracked open the clean hardback- the copy of Little Women that he wouldn't let anyone touch, your heart started racing.

You barely finished chapter one in three days. And when Jason asked during the day how it was going, you lied, saying it was great so far. This caused Jason to be suspicious as your reaction was far more bland than how you'd react when he was telling the basis of the story.

So when you claimed that you had finished it, he asked for your opinion. And when you did tell him what you thought of it, he thought that your answers sounded very familiar. And he realised that what you're saying was paraphrased from his annotations.

He laughed, telling you that you don't have to agree with his opinion. But when you didn't laugh back or state your own thoughts, he grew concerned.

You admitted that you only read the first chapter, and he said it was fine and to take as long as you needed since everyone reads at a different pace. But you shook your head, telling him that it could take you your whole lifetime to finish reading one book.

You sat with him, explaining that you find it difficult to read, that it takes you time to understand what the story is telling and what it's describing.

Jason thinks for a moment, and during this, you think that he now sees you as unintelligent and slow.

But he speaks up, offering the idea of reading to you instead. He noticed that you obtain information better when it's being spoken to you. You remember all the little details of the book when Jason went on his long rants about it.

But you tried to quickly turn down the offer, saying that you don't want him to baby you.

But he kisses your forhead in reassurance, promising that he's not babying you. Telling you that he's happy to read to you. Ecstatic even.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Jason are wrapped in a not too thick, not too thin blanket. You're sitting upright, Jason's leaning against the headboard as you lay on his chest.

He's got the clean copy open instead of his annotated one, so you have the freedom of developing your own outlooks on the novel as his finger glides across the sentences.

He lets you interrupt him every time you have a point to make or an outbirst reaction to a plot twist or unexpected scene.

He keeps those reactions in mind, remembering to pull out a new notebook, marking the pages with the book title, the date he read it to you, and the chapter and page that you referenced your thoughts from.

You hate to stop reading before the end of a chapter, so you try to stay awake as much as possible until Jason finishes the cirrent chapter, no matter how spft and soothing his voice is.

Your favourite part of your day is waiting for Jason to come home from patrol, sitting patiently on your shared bed, with the book on your lap while you watch the movie or show adaptation of the novel.

And when Jason does come home, he rolls his eyes, shutting the screen that's playing the film, scolding you that the book is way better.

He tells you to sit tight while he quickly changes out of his gear, putting on sweatpants and staying shirtless before scooching you over and sliding into bed beside you.

He takes the book from you, opening to where the bookmark laid- the last chapter you finished before continuing on with the story.

And when Jason finishes off another chapter, he notices you sound asleep.

He softly kisses your cheeks, forhead, then lips, bookmarking the book once more, before adjusting the two of you in a more comfortable position and holding you in his arms, whispering to you that you'll continue in the morning, before falling asleep with you.

#mickeysideas #jason todd #jason todd x reader #red hood #jason todd is my life #titans jason todd #red hood x reader #dc titans #i love jason todd #jason todd titans #jason todd headcanon #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd x gn!reader #jason todd x gender neutral reader #jason todd x f!reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x male reader #jason todd ff #jason todd hc #hc jason todd #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fluff #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd fic #red hood x gender neutral reader #red hood x female reader #red hood x male reader #red hood x you #red hood x y/n

[shuxiii]

Zealous jealous— Kang haerin x reader x Hanni (subtle)

Synopsis: you confessed what you’ve felt for her but it seemed like she didn’t feel the same? But that all changed when she saw you in another persons arms.

Requested: anon

You were pretty sure from the moment you caught a glimpse of her, she was going to be stuck in your mind for the rest of your nights.

It didn't help that she was only a room away—it didn't help that you were madly in love with your own member.

It just happened, love was unpredictable sometimes unimaginable. You wont know what hit you is the perfect metaphor you could explain what it felt.

She was just the right person you want to love, she fit exactly your hopeless romance daydreams.

She was nice, from her expression to her acts; she was an angel in disguise to you. Her smile was bright and warm, albeit clichéd. Her giggle was so contagious and endearing that you couldn't help but laugh along with her.

Love really does change people, whether for the better or for the worst.

You could say you and haerin were inseparable, you both were close since since debut. And that bond was the knot that led you to see her more than just a friend.

And no matter how close you two are, some people only adore from afar; you wanted that, but how can you admire from afar when she's only a foot away?

You sit just beside each other, even then sleep beside each other, eat together, watch together.

How exactly can you admire from afar if shes so near?

But even then, you tried to hide it anyway. You didnt have the courage to do so and even jeopardise such friendship, you never want to make things awkward for any of your members.

Yet, a heart get what it wants.

It was a little loud in the dorm, everyone gathered in a circle playing a game of truth or dare.

“C’mon Unnie! This isnt fair, that dare is way too mean!” Hyein complained.

“A dare is a dare hye, you must do it!” minji laughed loudly, clutching her stomach.

Hyein whined in annoyance, shooting glares at Minji. Because She was dared to eat a stick of celery.

As they kept arguing, the other two girls tried to stop the two from starting a brawl, while haerin just laughed at the scene that behold infront of her.

while she was distracted laughing you were taking a few glances at her, you cant help but hold back your smile not to make it too obvious.

Hanni had to tap my arms to gain my attention since I was too engrossed in my helpless daydream.

“Hey yn?” She says “you there”

I look back at everyone, as all their stares were now focus on me, making me embrassed.

“Yeah sorry, just a little distracted” I awkwardly laugh.

“Well then truth or dare!” Hyein, smirked “its your turn to pick now.”

I decided to pick truth, because i know how mischievous hyein is when it comes to these.

And as if she read my mind, she immediately said,

“Who do you like?”

I nervously scratched my nape, acting unconcerned, but my heart was pounding as I felt her stare.

“That’s a silly question, of course i dont like anyone,” i say.

“C’mon its so obvious,” She says “You like—“

“Okay, thats enough” Hanni laughs “Dont pressure yn like that, i want it to be my turn now!”

You mentally reminded yourself to give every bread hanni wants.

You give a light pat to the back on hanni, thanking her. She looks back at you smiling a little.

And despite after avoiding a close one, for some reason her gaze never left you, and that made you nervous you knew she liked to stare at people but this one felt different it felt like you were trap in by her eyes.

After playing a couple of more everyone has started to retreat back to their rooms, after hearing hyein yawn signalled that it was time for bed.

But you decided to stay in the living room to clean up the mess that were scattered.

You assumed everyone already went back to their rooms but that didnt seem to be the case, after everyone was gone you were left alone in the living room.

Thats until you heard faint footsteps from behind.

“Yn,” a familiar voice call out to you.

You look back to see the same eyes you’ve grown to love each day.

You felt yourself slightly blush, and you didnt know why.

“Oh, rin?” You say “why are you still here, shouldnt you be asleep?”

She didnt respond, she gazes back at you with an unreadable expression. And that made you anxious.

“Is there something wrong?” You ask again.

“Who do you like?”

You felt your body tense as it felt like a lump got stuck on your throat, you try to hide it.

“Haha, I dont like anyone” you try to play it off “seriously, dont believe hyein she just loves to mess around.”

She didnt seem to be convinced at your answer.

“Do you like hanni?” She ignores what you say.

“What no!” You tell her “like i said i dont like anyone.”

You despised lying, particularly to her. However, it seemed to be a better option than saying the truth.

“Why does Hanni know and i dont?” She continues “You guys seemed to have gotten closer—even closer than we are now.”

It was inevitable; you knew she'd figure it out eventually and the stalling would no longer work.

“It’s complicated, rin…”

“What is complicated about liking someone and telling me?” She says “do you not trust me enough?”

“Its not like that!” I stammer, “You wouldn’t want to know, trust me.”

I felt my heart take its pace, and the it wasnt the good type, it felt like it would drop any moment and theres nothing to catch it.

I could see her frown in the corner of my eyes as I avoided her gaze and focused on the polished floor.

“Why wont I want to know who you like, yn?” She says “You’re my best friend, of course I want to know everything about you.”

Of course that word “best friend” that’s all she ever sees me as a friend not a lover, not someone she wants to talk with about everything single detail of her life, not someone she greets in the morning, not someone she sees more than just a friend.

“Rin…” I mumble.

“I just dont get it, why wont I want to know?”

“It’s because, you’re the one I like,” i say with a shake in my voice, still avoiding her gaze.

And for once, the silence between us was different; it wasn't comfortable, it didn't seem like the silence we'd share whenever we were together—it felt deafening, yet too quiet for you, you wanted her to say something but it seemed like all she could give you was nothing.

“Yn…” the sympathy in her voice, made me hate it more, she was too kind.

“Yn, look at me,” she says.

I didnt want to look at her becuase i knew the moment i did, the answer would be there—one gaze was enough to be the answer.

“Please…” she pleaded.

It felt impossible, but i did anyway. And just like that, her eyes revealed the answers, and it hurt—it wasn't the eyes of someone ready to love me, it was the eyes of someone ready to tell me the things I don't want to hear but are the only thing I'll get.

“I’m sorry.”

Two words. Two words was all it took.

It was the first two words, but the last. And everything altered radically from the way it was.

Every since that you tried to be more normal around her, but it was harder than you expected—it felt force for you, you couldnt forget about her properly, you decided to find a better distraction—a diversion away from her.

And Hanni has been there for you ever since; when she spotted you crying in your room, she was there. She was always there for you when you needed her.

you’ve grown more fonder with her and lost more familiarity with haerin, but that was for the best wasnt it?

It had been two weeks since you'd drifted apart from Haerin and further into the arms of Hanni's company; it's not that you weren't sad, but for the time being you kept a barrier between yourselves because you were frightened to be hopeful.

Haerin didn't seem bothered by it; she understood why you were avoiding her, but it would be a lie to say it didn't pain her any less.

You avoided her from seating beside each other, even standing just beside her—even hold a long conversation or have the ounce of courage to look her in the eye.

And that hurt her even more, but she tried to understand.

But her intuition were right, you’ve grown fonder with Hanni ever since the talk. It looked more like you guys were a couple than as friends, and she had this irritating feeling whenever she saw you guys.

Hanni would always cling to your arms, like someone would separate you from her. You used to do that with her, before.

Its like ever since you both stopped talking, Hanni became more closer, far too close for Haerin’s liking.

She didnt understand why she hated it.

And today was no exception; Hanni was clinging to you like glue. But this time the frustration feeling grew—the more she repressed everything she felt, the more clear it became.

She hated to admit it, but ever since she lost you, she began to love you.

The motto that goes, “you know its love when its too late”

Thats what Haerin felt at that moment. And it didnt help her case at all especially with hanni holding you within her arms—that should be her, she thought.

You were gathered in the living room, as usual, watching a horror movie, which Haerin knew you disliked, but Minji was eager to see the new conjuring movie. And knowing you, you never had the heart to say no.

And at this type of situation, Haerin was ready to hold you and give you solace but instead hanni took her spot and all she could do was stare as she puts her arms around you, smiling like an idiot. Haerin wasnt insulting Hanni at all, Hanni indeed looked like she was smiling a little too much.

She hated that.

She hated the fact that she was feeling what she shouldnt, she didnt deserve to feel this but in the end she does.

Did you move on already? Have you stopped looking at her like she makes the stars glow at night? Have you seen someone better than her?

The thoughts was enough to drive someone insane, and that made her more frustrated.

She didnt get it, she cant understand why she felt like this.

She looks at you, as you laid your head against Hanni’s shoulder, like you didnt do that with her before.

She wasnt mad, no. She was fiery of jealousy.

I mean who wouldnt? To see someone else doing the things you guys used to do.

Haerin was no longer interested in the movie since she was fixated on you. Her entire attention was completely on you.

And when the scary scenes came, her heart ached even more, as you reciprocated Hanni’s embrace.

She just couldnt take her eyes off you, she could remember each detail of your face like the back of her hands.

And before she knew it the movie ended and it was time to go to bed.

But she couldn’t sleep if it ended like this.

Everyone was already sound asleep, it was one in the morning.

You were awoken from thirst so you decided to get a cup of water in the kitchen.

With tired footsteps you carry the weight of your drowsiness to the sink.

As you leaned against the counter you lazily drank, letting your guard down.

And suddenly out of nowhere you felt arms wrap around you, someone was hugging you from the back.

You squeal, as you try to look back to see who it was but something stopped you from doing so.

“Yn,” a whisper, as you felt her lean her head against your back.

It was haerin.

“Rin?” You recoginized the voice right away, like a muscle memory.

You felt her relax, she missed hearing her name off your lips.

“hi,” she says.

“hello?” You reply “What are you doing?”

There was a silent pause, and it made you worried.

You try to face her but she stops you.

“Don’t move, dont turn around” she mumbles “please, I dont want to see you yet.”

And you agreed in silence.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

“No,” she says.

There was again a pause, you felt her warp her arms even tighter.

“I miss you.”

You felt the beat of your heart grow faster, but it ached as you recalled the past.

“Rin, you cant do this,” you frowned “this isnt fair.”

“I do miss you.”

“But it isnt fair, you cant do this to me.” You felt your voice quiver “You cant…”

“Yn—“

“you’ll just make it hard for me” you cut her off.

And even if you wanted to take her embrace off, you felt her tighten it even more.

“I love you, Yn.”

You thought you were hearing things but she said it again,

“I love you,” she says it a little louder.

You felt your body tense, hearing such words from her? Was this a dream?

“Are you messing with me right now?” You say “its not funny haerin.”

“Seeing you with Hanni, made me realise many things.”

“I was a coward, Yn.” She mumurs “I was afraid—afraid for such change, i was scared that if things change, I’ll lose you eventually.”

“And i dont want that, I cant bare to lose you.”

change was a complicated word, it could mean good or bad, haerin thought it was a hard and a big step thing to do, because how much she tried to hold onto something, it’ll never stay. Sometimes she wished things were different, she always ended with a “maybe” or “what if”

She was terrified of change because she had become accustomed to the way things were; it was a part of her everyday. And for such an alteration to occur, she was hesitant to take such a risk.

“Rin, why didn’t you tell me?”

You tried to face her but she didnt budge at all.

“Dont turn around yet.”

“I was just scared, if i told you—you’d wait and understand and i didnt want that, i thought it’d be too much of a burden for you.”

“You’ll never be a burden to me,” you say “even if you put bricks on my back, I’ll carry it.”

You felt her smile against your back as she holds back her laugh.

“You’re so corny.” She tells you “but that’s why I like you.”

“Do you really mean it?” You pause “do you mean everything you say?”

“I do, yn. Im just afraid but yet i was so happy when you said you liked me too, i wanted nothing but for you to feel the same.” She tells you “but i was just hesitant, i didnt want things to change, i had so much in my mind.”

“What if you fall out of love for me? And I’ll lose you both as a friend and as someone i love, its scary to evem think of it.”

You felt her fiddle with the hem of your shirt as she hugged you, like she always did when she was worried, so you held her hands intertwined with yours.

“Rin, you know, you’ll never lose me as a friend,” you gaze down at your hands interwinted at hers “you’re already a part of my life, and i dont want nothing else but for you to always be in my life, regardless of anything.”

You felt her hug loosen and then you felt something wet hit your back.

You finally got to look at her, and as you did—you saw her eyes glisten as tears were cascading down her cheeks.

And when she finally looked at your eyes, the answers were clear to her—maybe change was a good thing.

They say the more things change the more they stay the same.

Like the waves coming in on the beach, watch a fire. Watch the rain drops, river flowing, sunset, sunrise, everything's changing and nothing's changed.

The look you gave her was still the same, it was the same ones when they exactly met, it was adorning and shining.

She hugs you again startling you.

“Rin?” You laugh, feeling her arms wrap around you making you feel a little ticklish “are you okay?”

“Let’s stay like this for a while.”

#newjeans fanfic #newjeans #newjeans imagines #haerin x reader #hanni #kang haerin x reader

[luffyvace]

☆彡PHANTOM TROUPE RELATIONSHIP HCS ☆彡

(separate)

Disclaimer: Credits to the artists!! I own none of these pictures!

I procrastinated on these for way too long.. still! Enjoy! <3 (these exclude hisoka & Kalluto)

Chrollo:

Chrollo is a lover that takes care of whom he loves!

therefore, he takes care of you!

Any hobbies you have, he’ll indulge in them with you

any supplies you need for said hobbies?

art supplies, ski gear, ice skates, computer, hiking equipment!

The list goes on

even if you never actually use the stuff he buys he doesn’t mind :)

cuz hey! He didn’t actually buy it! 🤪

chrollo will truly do anything in his power to keep you happy

and we all know power is something he certainly does have

he can buy you a luxury house and car all the way down to cuddling in the warm rays of the sunset while having a cookout

i guarantee if your upset, he’ll make you happy within the next hour

chrollo probably never learned how to love properly

but with you?? The definition of love doesn’t matter. he’s just grateful he has it.

you make him feel like he knows what he’s doing with himself in life.

he’s less lost, if I may say.

he’s found a home, in you.

Nobunaga:

nobunaga was never familiar with love and never even thought about the fact that he wasn’t interested!

but here you are simply having a conversation, chatting.

and yet even with such a simple act he feels so nervous?? While excited and happy at the same time??

he wonders why he even feels so fidgety!

your just talking!!

how on the earth are you making him act a fool like this?!

like yeah your pretty and he likes your personality and you two have the same interests plus all of your interactions have gone good…..man he really is in love huh

WHAT IS THIS SOME SAPPY ROMANCE MOVIE?

now I know it only seems like he has a crush

but you two are actually already in the relationship!!

and yes, he still gets nervous. The feeling never goes away

once he tried to ask if you still get butterflies n stuff and if you said no he’s gonna be so embarrassed!!!!

seriously he brushes it off like it didn’t bother him and never brings it up again

Feitan:

feitan will probably do better with a nonchalant or sadist partner so 1) you can enjoy torturing with him or 2) you won’t care or get grossed out that he does

If your not doesn’t matter he’s still gonna anyway-

he’s not the typa dude to change for love

but that aside

he likes your quiet company

so like reading together (whether it’s two different books or not)

and reviewing to each other

learning new skills from/with each other

actually sometimes feitan teaches you cool human body facts!!

Like how brains are around 60% fat!

or that they weight 3 pounds! ;D

how cool is that?!

yes this is his tastes in topics and humor

and he only laughs if you say stay like “gross!” Or “ew that’s disgusting!”

he will be satisfied if you find it cool too

Long story short don’t go into his library

you won’t find any books you like there unless you like what he does

Machi:

She’s an assertive domestic girlfriend

Plus she’s really caring

but caring doesn’t always mean sweet and happy all the time

while she has no problem taking care of you..

you better either get up and do some things yourself or return the favor !

She expects you to at least be able to get daily tasks done

either that or clean the whole house like she was gonna do. you choose.

your place is probably really simple yet well decorated

Not for an aesthetic but because of just general things you have

like a shoe rack, the pretty furniture and rugs, the dart board she owns, any hobby equipment you own (easel, paintings, hockey equipment, hiking equipment, etc)

it all just makes a really cozy look for your house

and yes you two definitely play darts together

she will win unapologetically and won’t hold back

she wants to genuinely see you improve so she doesn’t go easy on you

“You can’t get better by playing against somebody worse than you”

Phinks:

phinks in a relationship is literally the definition of a guy who could pull more if he was less nervous

but he obviously pulled you and that’s what matters most

he gets flustered easily but tries to hide it

(Spoiler: he fails)

phinks will try to be romantic but it’ll either get ruined by his friends crashing the date

*ahem* shal and fei 😒(😂💗)

or he’ll just be so incredibly nervous that it doesn’t go as smoothly as he planned

he thinks up these brilliant romantic scenarios in his head but can never seem to execute them 🤨😕

it’s the thought that counts 🤷‍♀️💝

he would truly be such a romantic if he could just stop freaking out

I mean don’t get me wrong it’s not like it never works

when it does, he’s excited in the moment

but as soon as it’s over he’s worrying like crazy about how he’s gonna upstage that from last time

Especially without screwing up and making a fool of himself

little does he know you love him all the same 😂

Shalnark:

is really teasing and playful so I hope your not hot headed

if your aren’t and choose to prank him back instead?

it literally becomes prank wars

at some point the pranks started a real (petty) argument

after it was settled you decided not to terrorize each other anymore

now you target the troupe with your antics! 😆

your main victim is phinks

mostly because his reaction is really funny

Plus he’s the easiest to get mad

LOL

but back to the original topic where your hot headed….

yeah the argument probably ended up happening sooner than not

although at first he doesn’t take it seriously because your always getting mad like this

then you say something that makes him realize your serious

he feels really stupid for not noticing sooner

he’ll genuinely apologize (for literally once in his life)

and direct his pranks to someone else

after that you probably end up watching the victims and find it funny too

so you still end up bonding over it 😅💖

Franklin:

Franklin is not necessarily gentle

he’s just more coolheaded than not

like the time he started fighting with uvogin in the 1999 version

like he’s chill until you say the wrong thing

but that’s just how he is in general

he never gets mad at s/o

his patience is infinity+ for you

You may have secretly tried to make him angry or at least annoyed-

but if it one day goes too far he says “stop.” with a very serious tone/look and you probably stop from there 😀

😗

otherwise if you don’t decide to test the waters from jump, Franklin doesn’t have many hobbies so he’ll literally just indulge in what you like

like it doesn’t even matter if he finds it boring

you’d never know because he’d be so supportive of you doing what you love

but it’s more likely than not he’ll enjoy a few

franklin is also decent at like every house chore ever, cooking, sweeping/cleaning for example

like he knows how to do everything, but he’s just average at it

Shizuku:

Shizuku is very forgetful

she forgets chores, how to cook certain things, favors you asked her to do

But you don’t have to worry about her forgetting things about you solely because she would never date anyone she doesn’t know enough to remember

She probably wouldn’t remember she likes you so why would she?!

Unless like she forgets how long she’s known you-

AND LIKE- MAGICALLY THINKS YALL BEEN FRIENDS FOR YEARS WHEN YALL MET 6 MONTHS AGO

That’s a writing prompt

she’d be remembering memories that never happened and everything 🤦‍♀️

But we won’t go into that here…

it’s probably low key annoying that you have to do a lot of things because she keeps forgetting

so I sure hope your patient..

“huh? You never asked me to do that..”

”no! Your didn’t, I remember! you never even came in the living room!” (Her saying ‘I remember’ is ironic I know)

With a more motherly and provider mindset reader she’d do just fine

At the very least shizuku will remember your favorite things and gift you them when she can<3

isnt that sweet?!

see?? It’s not like she’s being a jerk!

she genuinely forgot!

Pakunoda:

pakunoda is wife criteria

she can do everything

she is gentle, caring and strong

she can protect and advice you

she remembers all your favorite things—everything about you!

she always cooks your favorite meals

paku loves to relax on the beach together with some wine~

she loves road trips and mini calm adventures

Take her on some!! She deserves it with all she does for you!

and you definitely do!

you guys create lots of fun and heart warming memories together

out in the grass, in the wild life, in forests, in the dessert!

she’s a great cook and a outstanding baker!! 😍😋😋

her signature dish is raspberry pie

ITS SO DELICIOUS

she makes random desserts and pastries for you as a love language

getting up to her breakfast is the best way to start your day possible

you literally can always expect a good meal with her

if you’ve been having a bad day???

at this point a bad day ain’t a bad day no more cuz you already dancing knowing she gon hook you up‼️💃🕺

Bonolenov:

bonolenov is so grateful that you act normal around him

like you have from the start, you never alienated him

before and after he took off his bandages

he can cook but others wouldn’t think so because his tribe’s traditional food is different than the norm

If you tried it and liked it he’s be overjoyed!!

He’d feel much more confident about cooking and do it for you more often

he’d low key question if your from his tribe and wonder if you’d say no to a blood test

(BRO another writing prompt!! Bonolenov finding a reader from his tribe!!)

if you didn’t like it I’m sure you let him down gently since you love him

and he gets it

maybe it was just that one dish though?

he’d want you to try a few more of different types (breakfasts, lunches, dinners, desserts and snacks) before you completely give up on it

if you truly end up not liking it he won’t be angry or anything

it simply wasn’t for you :)

he’s actually a pretty chill dude

Even more so around you

he likes to lazy around a lot and you two might cuddle often

not intentionally but like you just both end up napping together all the time

if you want he’ll teach you his tribes dances and such

as well as traditions

he’ll be impressed if you master the dances fast

(him wondering if your from his tribe again)

Even If you take a bit longer he’s patient :)

he’s open to taking off his bandages around you if your not uncomfortable

if you are that’s fine they’re pretty comfy !

Uvogin:

uvogin is very rough

I mean it’s kinda hard to be gentle at that size-

if he hurts you on accident you’ll get a brief ‘sorry’ but know it’s genuine

don’t worry it doesn’t happen often enough to be concerned

but don’t stand behind him.

you’ve learned your lesson on that….

he squashed your toes once and it was not fun

don’t get me wrong he’s not some monster

he’s just big

so he’s gotta watch out for a bunch of tiny humans you know??

okay put it like this, imagine a grown man/woman is running full speed because they’re late to work and they run into a 3 year old and knock them down

was it intentional?? No. Do they apologize and feel bad?? Yes. Is it a little funny after everything’s okay?? Also Yes.

I will say it is fun to ride on his shoulder and sit in his lap/on his leg

(another prompt could be uvogin with a s/o as big as him..)

it’s fun for him to carry you around

it’s like have a little portable buddy

that idea is kinda wholesome ☹️💗

AND DON’T FORGET HIS BIG SMOOOOOCHIES 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

he loves you 😊

FINALLYYYYYY GOT THIS DONE💥💥

I love the troupe :) the police needs to stop hating on they’re emo band fr 🙄✋

#anime #anime and manga #luffyvace #anime headcanons #hxh 2011 #hxh anime #hxh #hunterxhunter headcanons #hunter x hunter headcanons #hunter x hunter #chrollo headcanons #chrollo lucilfer #gn <3 #x gn reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #nobunaga x reader #nobunaga hxh #feitan portor #feitan headcanons #feitan #phantom troupe #machi komachine #phinks magcub #shalnark ryusei #shizuku hxh #uvogin #bonolenov #kortopi #pakunoda

[the-fluff-piece]

"Invisible" choose your own romance

- Zoro or Sanji?

This is a "choose your own adventure" type continuation of "invisible", if you haven't read that, start here. You can chose at the end if you want to be with Sanji or Zoro, click on the link to get to the corresponding story

After Sanji rejected you, he offered to be friends - you accepted. As you get to know each other better and better, you discover new sides to your crewmate Zoro. Which one will you choose in the end?

The new friendship with Sanji led to new routines in your day. You started to help him a lot, earning his praise and time spent together, just the two of you.

Laughing, talking, working together; when no one else was around, it felt like you were made for each other. You enjoyed his company, his laughter and even occasionally his friendly teasing. When you closed your eyes, it felt like the day you had with him in another body.

You opened your eyes again and looked at your crewmate. Sanji was cleaning the table while you were washing dishes. Whistling, he threw the rag on the counter and proceeded to make tea in his careful fashion.

Your heart sank a little, he was preparing Nami's afternoon tea. Soon, the suspension of disbelief would dissipate and Sanji would prance to Nami, drooling and babbling like an idiot. Not leaving an ounce of doubt who he saw as desirable and who was just his platonic friend.

With a sigh, you saw him run out the door. And like always, you finished the chores on the kitchen alone.

Putting plates back in cupboards, bringing his knives, pots and pans back in order, you were deep in your work and almost fell backwards when a hunched figure said "yo" over the counter.

Stumbling and gasping, you saw that it was Zoro, who must have snuck in like a cat.

"Whoa Zoro don't do that! You're giving me a heart attack" You were heaving with shock.

"Sorry, I thought you saw me" He raked his hand through his hair, looking around like he was searching for something.

"Do you need anything?" You asked, leaning over the counter. Zoro wasn't exactly someone you had long conversations with, so it was plausible that he was just hungry.

"Do you have any leftovers?" He looked a bit sheepishly over the counter.

"We just ate" you chuckled.

"Well...I forgot how hungry I was" He sat down, swords clanking at his side.

"You forgot..." You raised your eyebrows at this. He blushed.

"Yeah sometimes I just want to get back to training so bad, I forget how hungry I really am" His stomach rumbled loudly and he looked embarrassed.

Without asking for a better explanation, you took the leftovers out of the fridge and reheated them on the stove, while a single blue eye watched hungrily.

When you eventually pushed a steaming plate towards your crewmate, he looked grateful and dug in with a "thanks!"

He was eating like a starving stray dog, he must have been really hungry.

"Stupid cook usually doesn't heat it up...smug bastard..." he said with his mouth full.

While he ate, you decided to sharpen the kitchen knives a bit, since Sanji loved to work with well kept equipment.

As you started to sharpen them, Zoro almost jumped over the counter: "nooooo!" And ripped the knive from your hand.

"What?" You shrieked at him.

"You're doing it all wrong!" He clutched the small chopping knife to his chest like a newborn.

"I'm doing it like Sanji showed me" you tried to pry it from his hands again.

"Well he's an idiot and incompetent with swords" Zoro stated, looking at the blade.

"I'll sharpen them for you. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't exactly wrong what you did, it was just not perfect. It took me years to perfect the process." He already started to run the side of the blade over the stone, keeping a careful angle and rhythm.

"Take it as thanks for feeding me" He winked.

"You know, steel may be hard, but it needs lots of care to stay sharp" He began lecturing you on his favorite subject - blades. While sharpening every knife in the kitchen, he talked about how he learned his trade. You felt that it really was his biggest passion and listened intently.

Sanji

Home.

For the first time, Sanji felt at home. Whole. Loved. Safe.

His crew was like his family and he knew he could always depend on them. With y/n, he has now gained an unexpected companion.

He lovingly looked at the album she made, it was right next to his cookbooks on the shelf and he took it out just as often.

After all he's been through, he felt he deserved someone like her in his life. He bathed in her appreciation, sucked up all her kindness like a sponge. She wasn't a guy - he could never accept help or gifts like that from a guy - but she also wasn't exactly a lady, high up on a pedestal, unreachable and perfect.

He could talk to her normally, confide in her, be himself. It felt like the purest form of friendship he had ever experienced. He could share his thoughts and feelings with her.

And she helped him in the kitchen, even if she tried to hide it. She kept order while he was away, she helped him prepare meals and made his life a whole lot more relaxed. He had more time for training now, fishing and taking special care of Nami and Robin.

He hummed to himself as he prepared afternoon tea for Nami. He smelled cake, y/n had surely made something in the oven. She used the kitchen now more of her own, after he had made sure that she knew the rules and kept order.

He watched her as she cut two slices of the fresh cake onto plates, loading them on her arm like he taught her and make her way out of the galley.

"Hey, where are you going?" He bend over the counter to catch a glimpse of her as she blushed slightly.

"Just eating out on deck" She mumbled and vanished out of the door.

Sanji got a strange feeling in his stomach. Something wasn't right. He left the tea to cool a bit and followed her outside. She made her way over the sunny's deck to a shady corner, where something was lying that looked like a pile of dirty rags to Sanji.

"Mosshead" He growled under his breath.

He felt the knot in his stomach tighten as she kneeled down in the grass and poked Zoro awake. The swordsman smiled broadly as he saw the cake - just as broad as Y/n who watched him take the first bite.

Sanji was already putting together insults in his head, when he stopped for a second to think about why he wanted to ruin this for y/n. She seemed happy. It made him mad.

They began talking. They laughed. Sanji realised he had almost breathed in the whole cigarette with angry puffs. While he was still searching for a good reason in his head to pick a fight with Zoro in this moment, the egg timer he had set for the tea went off and he decided to let it go, for now.

He tried to calm down, but failed miserably. When he served Nami her tea, he couldn't savour her exquisite appearance and the deep cut shirt she wore. Mechanically, he prepared dinner, alone, wondering where Y/n was and what she did. And with whom.

When he decided to go look for her, she was nowhere to be found. Except he didn't want to go look in the crows nest.

You

You regretted not talking to him sooner. Zoro was intimidating at first, but in the end he was just a laid back guy with a strange obsession. He liked swords and fighting, but he was interested in whatever you had to say, too. He listened closely, asking questions that showed you he really cared about what you had to say.

And he seemed more than delighted when you cared for him- reminded him to take a break and especially if you brought him food. He trained hard every day, he needed to eat a lot to keep up his strength.

Usually, gruff and buff wasn't your type, but Zoro turned out to have a charm of his own and you found yourself thinking less and less about Sanji the more time you spend away from him.

Whatever this was, one question burned on your mind before you let your feelings grow any further.

You sat with Zoro in the crows nest, talking about the last adventures and eating rice balls.

"Zoro, I know you've been sailing with Nami for a long time now. Do you...uhm...like her?" Your emphasis made clear what exactly you meant.

Zoro almost choked on his meal.

"What? Like? That egotistical, lying gold digging hag???" He seemed appaled at the idea, "Why are you even asking me this?"

"Most men seem to love her, I just wondered. She is really hot." You avoided looking at him.

"I don't care for that" He said.

"Why?" You had to ask. You've seen how he wasn't in the least interesting in women like Boa Hancock, Shirahoshi or even Hyori- who clearly wanted him.

He just shrugged. "Why should I? Dating a hot girl doesn't make me stronger." He seemed to think for a moment.

"You know what makes me stronger? When someone looks out for me, brings me food, listens to what I have to say" He looked at the onigiri you made for him, an than his serious gaze was set on you.

"Know what I mean?" His question sounded meaningful, like even he didn't dare to clearly state his mind.

"I guess so" you looked away.

Shit.

You weren't sure if you just ruined something that hasn't even started. Not even sure if he really meant anything at all.

"I'm sorry Sanji hurt you" he said out of the blue,"Just say the word and I'll whip his bony ass and cut his hair" a sinister smile played around Zoro's lips, you were sure he really meant it.

The talk with Zoro left you confused, but also excited and full of energy. You spend the whole next day occupied in a flurry of different feelings. Insecure how to act around him, you avoided Zoro, who respectfully kept his distance.

You were ripped from your thoughts by the sound of a hard impact on the ship - an attack?

You hurried to deck, were you found Zoro and Sanji at each others throats.

"Stop it you two!" Nami shouted at them.

"Not until he apologises!" Sanji aimed a fiery kick at the swordsman, who blocked with one of his blades.

"Apologise? You are the one who should be apologising - to y/n!" Zoro growled as he drew his second sword.

The two clashed, rocking the ship. Everyone was on deck now to watch the spectacle.

"I would never hurt her, stop saying that!" Sanji kicked against Zoro's crossed swords.

"Seems they're fighting over you, so it's your problem now" Nami said as she passed you, retreating into the ship.

Fighting - over you?

You watched helplessly as the two big hitters of your pirate crew clashed and fought.

"Stop it now!" You screamed and both didn't look at you, still locked in combat and pushing against each other.

"Go back inside y/n, I'll deal with this mosshead, he won't bother you anymore" Sanji shouted.

"Bother her? Y/n tell that stupid cook that you like hanging out with me way more than with him!" Zoro grinned maliciously as he realised he just set off Sanji more.

"No, you stop RIGHT NOW", you stomped your foot like an angry child, but they stopped, kind of. With a last clash they flew in opposite directions and landed on different sides of the sunny, still eyeing each other suspiciously.

Zoro was the first to stop, he slid his swords back into their sheaths and turned to you.

"I just told him that he should apologise for breaking your heart. You're far too good for him." He paused and swallowed. "And also...I think you're better off with me" He straightened nervously and avoided your gaze.

"NoooooOOOOOO" Sanji's protest grew louder as he dashed to you. He looked distressed, his usually neat hair in disarray. He bowed slightly, his voice was nothing more than a hoarse whisper.

"I know I have no right to tell you this anymore. I hurt you because I was too stupid to even see you. But I've.." he swallowed audibly, "I've come to love you over the last weeks. You're not just my friend; you're the person who makes my world brighter, who I would do anything for. I can't imagine my life without you in it" he theatrically sank to his knees, "only the thought of losing you to another man made me realize that."

‐----

So tumblr postet stuff again without asking me, so the whole piece is not done yet, I'm Sorry xD but it'll be finalised in the next days

What's going to happen now?

Chose Zoro

Chose Sanji

Taglist @sophsgloom @nim-rose @iloveartofcartoons-blog @caffeinated-chicken-nuggets @mugiwarasoul19 @yeeeeezly @atanukileaf @rosemaplefairy90 @carpinchootaku @corvinalitbitina

#one piece fanfiction #one piece x you #vinsmoke sanji #roronoa zoro #op sanji #sanji x y/n #vinsmoke sanji x reader #sanji x you #sanji x reader #sanji fanfic #one piece zoro #zoro x female reader #zoro x you #zoro x reader

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 22 [FINAL]

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Rating: M

Word Count: 13.9k

Warnings: toilet humor. Over consumption of alcohol.

Author’s note: Thank you so so so so much for staying with me throughout this story! I can’t believe it’s over. I’ll cry forever.

A romance between two adults with an unspecified age difference between them, an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.

Can I Stay? Masterlist

Tag: @his-mochi-cheeks

You stood before the mirror scrutinizing your own reflection for any obvious evidence of this forbidden act you’d just taken part in.

Somewhere within the stall, Baekhyun had been busy with cleaning up and putting himself back together; just as you had done moments earlier. You heard the soft grunts and slightly annoyed grumbles coming from behind that closed door, “—a bathroom — of all places — we aren’t kids hiding from our parents.”

“Uhh…” he called out in a low voice. “I gotta take a piss.” There was just a touch of a slur in his syllables, “you don't mind, do you?” His question was mostly mumbled, but you heard the clank as he lifted the toilet seat; not waiting for your response.

“I think we are well beyond that sort of modesty, Baekhyun.”

“Are we?” You heard the stream hit the water in the bowl. “At least we have that.”

You leaned in closer to the mirror and touched over the dark red spot on your neck; pulling your own hair over the skin in an attempt to hide it.

Whenever you moved, so did your hair and the hickey showed up again. You reached for your small bag, remembering the touch-up makeup you’d brought with you. You tried your best with it, but the spot he’d made with his teeth would be one of his more lasting works. You could practically see all of his frustration from this evening with the teeth marks he’d left in your skin.

The toilet flushed as the stall door pushed open and Baekhyun emerged still zipping up and fastening his belt buckle.

“You know, I have a key to the penthouse in my pocket right now but you wanted to fuck dirty in a satellite bathroom on the third floor.” You heard hints of sarcasm. He was washing his hands. He was lifting his collar and tying his necktie, looking into the mirror as he re-did everything your filthy rendezvous had undone. His fingers flew up to the top of his head and he coiffed his remarkably still perfectly styled brown hair.

You rested a hip against the bathroom countertop and leaned your head against the wall beside the light switch, feeling just a tad dizzy from the copious amounts of alcohol you still had in your system but doing your best to focus on the many clues about something this man was haphazardly tossing in your direction.

You were having a bit of trouble gauging his mood. He seemed to be acting just a little bit prickly. It didn't feel like he was just drunk, this was something else. Leftover frustrations from being teased all night perhaps? A side effect from the three-hour boner? Was this pampered prince too good for kinky bathroom sex? As far as bathrooms went, this was a pretty nice one. There were warmed, rolled-up hand towels in wooden trays from IKEA, tasteful art hung on the walls, and on the other end, faceted mirrors lined the wall there that had given you a multi-angle view of what you looked like being fucked by your secret boyfriend. There was some sort of a fragrance that was released on a timer up in the corner. You’d heard the device squirt at least once while you’d been in here and now it didn't even smell like sex anymore. And it wasn’t as if you’d dragged him in here. He walked over here himself. Hell, he probably sprinted.

You watched his pretty side profile in silence as he did things like run a fingertip over his eyelid; wiping something imaginary there, or run his hand below his pouty pink bottom lip all while looking into the mirror at his own stunning reflection.

His eyes were blinking and he was not making any grand gestures or rushed movements in your direction and after a few breaths in and out and after a few more, quite excessive smoothing motions with the palms of his hands over his already neatly tucked shirt, he moved again to tug at his belt buckle, then moved his fingertips toward his own necktie that he pulled with an artists precision into about as straight a line as humanly possible and you were watching him with a building sensation that this man was, very obviously bothered by something you had, or hadn’t done.

”Baekhyun?” you said with all of your remaining unasked questions flipping up the inflection at the end of his name.

He inhaled a breath and only looked into his own eyes, blinking them slowly once. Then twice. On this third blink his eyes opened and his eyelids fluttered just enough to show you how much he was holding himself in a carefully barely controlled state. He was deliberate with it — with making a point to avoid your eyes entirely.

This pretty man had settled himself into a fit.

You were sure it wasn’t the sex from earlier. The sex had been amazing. He had liked it, you were sure of it by his giddy excitement at having his very own sex tape saved into a secret, password protected folder in his phone. He’d even made it a point to disable any sort of cloud back-ups that might have inadvertently saved it anywhere else. He’d gone through big gestures of saving yours in the same way. Double locked and very strong password protected. Some acronym of some code sentence he’d made up on the spot and you hoped to God you’d both still be able to remember it when you sobered up.

No, no, this was something else; something you simply could not ignore and from beside him on the countertop you could see the occasional notification popping up on his cell phone screen. It had been placed on silent but it was very much alive and very active. From where you stood, you could see the occasional pop-up message telling him he had been receiving text messages and they seemed to come one after another in rapid succession. Some even at the same time.

You pushed away from the counter and took a few steps; feeling either too drunk or too entitled to look away from his phone screen and in the mirror you caught the movement of his eyes as he watched you approach his phone. It was very active. You saw names popping up again and again. Summaries of text messages filled with laughter and images displayed in tiny thumbnails.

“What is all that?” You peered down at it and heard a slow sigh come from deep within your boyfriend’s chest.

“Group chat,”he said as he reached a finger out and touched his phone screen, “the guys,” not bothering to move the phone away from you or conceal it in any way; instead, he was reaching out unlock it, to bring it to the forefront of your vision so show you everything and to bring all of this nonsense up for you to see. “They’re making jokes and memes…to tease me…about you.”

The chat moved quickly. Tons of laughter and childish ribbing at his expense. An occasional picture with words written on it. You saw an image of a weeping man pulled deep down into the throes of despair coupled with some words embedded in the picture about a high-five from the love of your life followed by more raucous laughter from several people who all talked at once. An occasional question directed right to Baekhyun asking about where he even disappeared to. Someone saying he was off crying in a corner. One more noticing that you had vanished as well and you crossed your arms over your chest knowing deep down that the longer you both stayed gone at the same time, the more suspicions amongst your friends and co-workers would grow.

There was no more delaying it. You both knew it. This desperate need you both had succumbed to had been temporarily satisfied and unless you wanted those suspicions to become rumors and those rumors to be backed up with coincidences or worse, facts you both needed to come up with your next move so you could rejoin the others at the party and it really needed to happen sooner rather than later.

Something about his quiet observation of your face and the way he kept his tongue motionless well inside of his closed up mouth despite the half blinking you saw in his eyes and the way his eyebrows twitched up on his forehead had you hesitating to say what really needed to be said.

We should get back to the party.

We’ve been gone for too long.

Someone might notice.

Someone might find out about us.

Instead of speaking you cleared your throat and grabbed your bag, taking one step away from where he stood; one step that brought you closer to the door and further from him.

He didn't say anything but his eyes watched you and oh there was a darkness that grew inside of them.

Why couldn't you just speak to him? Something shameful and dirty had a hold of your tongue and you could feel a growing guilty feeling beginning to take your mood with the words of your plan for escape sitting on the very tip of your tongue refusing to come out.

You couldn't just leave him here. After bringing him in here to fuck and then leaving him behind once you’d been satisfied. It felt so far beneath you to do; not to him. Not with that silent pout you saw on his face the further your feet moved you away from him, the more it grew.

You couldn't stand it.

You spun around, facing him once again and his eyes widened marginally when you took another step toward him, reaching your hand up to reach around his shoulder you placed a palm over the back of his neck, pulling him into you as you leaned into him.

You kissed him. You pressed your lips over his and you let your lips part into his mouth as you kissed him without any hesitations or reservations, you kissed him.

He kissed you. He pulled you into his mouth and took a step into you, molding himself into the feeling and the shape of all of you until both of his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and you were pulled into his chest; into his firmness; into his open mouth. Baekhyun kissed you back deeply and he kissed you back slowly.

All the while you hoped and wished that your lips and the warmth from your touch might soothe every worry that had tried to take hold inside of his bothered chest. You wished he could have been so easily soothed with a few kisses, a few touches, a few reassurances.

He pulled away from you first and with his lips pulled tightly in between his teeth he inhaled a slow breath well into his lungs through his nose.

His forehead rested against your own and his arms still tightly encircled your waist, holding you here with him for a few moments before the itchy question that had been bubbling beneath the surface of him finally broke free. You heard the inhale before he spoke.

“How much longer do I have to be your secret? I hate it so much.”

Of course this was it. You’d had a feeling this was coming. He’d given you hints that he didn't really enjoy all of the hiding and scheming to keep your many sins under wraps. Even his unrestrained delight to find out you’d so easily throw away years of your career just for the chance of staying with him forever had told you that this man was not the type willing to keep his love hidden for very much longer.

You moved your hands over the back of his neck, threading your fingertips into his hair and you closed your eyes, steadying the rush of nerves that spiked at the very thought of the others finding out about the two of you.

“Soon. We won’t have to hide for much longer. I promise,” you spoke through a whisper and you felt the tip of his nose brush over your cheekbone before his soft lips pressed kisses into the softness of your cheek.

“Just not…tonight. Not when we’ve both been drinking and we disappeared together for so long.” You felt the pull of his lips against your skin. It was a smile. You felt the wetness of his teeth as he smiled. “It would be so obvious what we’ve been doing,” you complained.

“Soon, when?” He asked with a whine. There was a playfulness in his words that wasn't there before; before you gave in and promised him this all would be over soon.

“Monday. Monday we can ride to work together and you can drop me off on your way up to your new office. We can even hold hands if you want to.”

”Super early on Monday morning before anyone else gets there?” There was a petulance in his voice as he continued the sulking act. He knew you well enough to know that you always arrived well before any others from your team and probably before anyone else on the entire floor did. Lately though, with him occupying your heart and your bed until the very last minute, you’d tended toward wandering in later and later.

“We could sleep in a little. Maybe stop for coffee first. We could be a little late.” The alcohol really seemed to be doing a number on you. As you daydreamed of what might possibly come on Monday morning you couldn't fight the giddy feeling building up inside of your chest. Baekhyun had pulled his face back so he could look into your eyes as you told him so many of the sweet promises he’d wanted to hear.

“What if I kiss you goodbye at your office door and leave you behind to answer all of their questions?” He was giggling. It felt manic. His kind of happiness was the most contagious kind. The trembling in his chest shook you and made your own laughter break free. This feeling was more than intoxication. It was a new kind of hopeful happiness that you wished would never end.

“Monday,” he said after a while and on his lips he wore the sweetest smile with his pretty pink lips pulled tight and his eyes curved. “It’s only four days. I can act pathetic and lonely and single for four more days. If that’s what I must do—”

His words were cut off by the steady hum of a phone on vibrate that was ringing. You heard the sound echoing out inside the tiny room and both of your heads turned toward the sound of the buzzing on top of the bathroom countertop. He dropped his hands from around you and reached for the phone holding it up to his face for a few milliseconds to read the name on the screen.

He was pressing something and holding it up to his ear as he angled his torso away from you, at the same time holding his index finger up to his lips to let you know that you should not speak if you wanted the secret of this relationship to remain intact.

“Yeah, what?” He said into the phone with a gruff, put-out tone. You could hear the sound of another voice on the line, a man who’s intonation sounded like he was asking a question. The casual, super familiar tone you heard from both men told you this was a close friend of his. The finger he shushed you with told you that it might be one of the close friends sitting out there at the tables near the dance floor. One of the members of the teasing group chat who hadn’t stopped flooding his phone with messages since you’d given him that co-worker worthy, platonic high five.

“I’m taking a shit, why? What do you want?” He angrily barked into the phone and you swallowed the surprised hiccup that caught you off guard with his insane choice of an excuse for his absence. You had to lay a hand over your mouth to keep yourself silent through the shock and you’d just barely moved fast enough, thankfully, to keep yourself from being heard by his caller.

Your eyes were wide on him and you felt it then, again, just as you had genuinely felt it while you watched him with that rowdy group of young men earlier. The sudden and genuine shock at this version of Baekhyun that you honestly had no idea even existed until you’d witnessed him interacting with his friends had you questioning everything you had thought about him until now.

He was listening to his friend talking; nodding his head every once in a while. Silently agreeing to something without using his words. Maybe he was too drunk to realize the person on the other end of the line couldn't actually see him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Baekhyun had taken two steps further into the bathroom and pushed the bathroom stall door open. He noisily flushed the toilet and moved to the sink to turn on the faucet, pulling the phone down from his ear and waving it next to the sound of the running water for full effect.

He’d hung up the call and turned off the water before looking up into your surprised face with a passive expression on his face.

You watched him in silence for a few breaths before his eyes glanced emptily around the room a few times as if to question what your curious reaction was all about.

You shook your head back and forth before you spoke. “Who even are you?” Your brows were furrowed and you looked directly into his brown eyes as you asked the genuine question. You were honestly very curious about what sort of new surprises you would learn about this crazy man in the future.

You heard him scoff and he lifted his hands in front of him, palms up as his eyes looked between the two.

“I am a single, lonely, pathetic loser who has just given himself a killer fucking alibi for where he has been for the past half-hour.” He said this with his chin pointed toward his right hand. Clearly indicating the side he represented. When his focus shifted to the other hand which he held out in your direction he nodded in your direction before he spoke with a single lifted eyebrow above one eye.

“Where have you been for the past half-hour?”

This silly man believed himself to be too clever for his own good. You shrugged and scoffed with a quick and dismissive eye roll. You would show him how to craft a perfect alibi while also keeping your dignity intact.

“Darling, I am drunk and this place is huge. I got lost.” It sounded so simple because it was simple. It was also plausible, as out of character as your drunken behavior had already been so far… You pulled your cell phone out and opened the group chat with a few of your favorite coworkers and teammates and you quickly typed out a text message, ignoring any typos you saw your impaired fingers produce.

“I thought the [arty was on the 5th floor I’ve been up n down this hotel so many times. did they move the party????? someone help meee :(“

You showed him the message and nearly instantly, and as if on cue, the replies began to pour in.

“Omggggg ma’am lmao”

“lololol miss manager is lost”

“search party for mis manger nobody has any more fun till we find her”

“She’s so cute drunk”

“Third floor! We are on the third floor!!”

“Stay where you are I’ll come save you”

You looked up into Baekhyun’s shocked face and your lips pulled into a self satisfied smile.

“You are so cute drunk. Who is the one who said that? Is it a guy? Dani sounds like a guy.”

His pointy fingertip was touching your screen as he tried to scroll back up and get closer look at the names and pictures of the people in this group chat and you specifically did not dignify his silly questions with an answer. Instead you locked your phone and put it back inside of your bag; turning your back on him, you raised a hand to unlock the bathroom door.

You poked your head out first. The coast was clear and in the far off distance you could hear the thump thump thump of the party that was still going on. “You go right and I’ll go left?” you asked behind you.

Baekhyun’s head poked out beside you, just over your shoulder and he turned his head quickly to the right and to the left, scanning the area for witnesses. You had already done this part. He didn’t need to also do this part.

“If you go left, you’ll get even more lost.” He said in a serious voice and you felt him give you a solid push through the doorway at the same time as he reached down and grabbed ahold of your hand. He started walking toward the right, pulling you along with him.

“Baekhyun,” you whispered from behind him, wiggling your hand to try and get him to release the tight grip, “Baekhyun, I wasn’t really lost.”

You pulled back against him harder, and stopped your feet from moving forward, “Baekhyun, that was a lie, remember?” It took some urging but he eventually felt your resistance and turned back around to look at you. There was a sudden change in his face as he closed up his eyes and threw his head back. His lips pulled into a wide and beautiful smile and he had a moment of realization.

“Oh shit, that’s right,” he laughed hard and pulled his hand over his belly as he did it.

Oh no.

Ohhhh no.

This man was not in his right mind right now.

”Baekhyun,” you urged in a more serious tone, trying your best to keep all hints of amusement off of your face. You could feel your own smile fighting you. He was so drunk and he was so adorable, “Baekhyun, not tonight. Not tonight, okay? Monday. Remember?”

You pulled your hand out of his and he looked down at his own empty hand with a small frown before he nodded his head up and down twice.

“Not tonight,” he repeated, showing you that he was here now and he fully understood what you were telling him. Until his eyes found yours again and he inhaled a quick breath to speak again.

“Tonight!” he said excitedly and his lips were parted and your stomach dropped as you flattened your lips and closed your eyes in frustration.

“Not tonight.” You said feebly but he was excitedly tapping you on the arm. Clearly worked up enough about something to be having trouble getting the words out in order.

“No, no. I know. Not tonight for that. Not that, but tonight — tonight, my friends, the guys, my boys,” he was moving as he gestured with both hands as if they held onto something in the empty space in front of him, “and your girls,” he moved his hands to hold onto the emptiness on the other side, “my boys and your girls,” his face dropped and he lifted an eyebrow, “are having an after party tonight. Tonight, tonight.” He lifted a hand and pointed his finger downward.

Clearly his words weren’t fully cooperating with him and he’d resorted to using his hands and arms to pantomime his meaning. It worked though. You followed wherever his hands moved and you relaxed with the faith that he would behave himself just enough to keep things under wraps until Monday. He was also very excited about whatever he was trying his best to tell you about right now.

With one hand he reached out wide to the side and he closed his eyes up and shook his head. “After-party,” he said, “round two,” he lifted two fingers up with his eyes still closed.

”My party,” he placed his palm flat on his chest and swayed on his feet, “my going away party — Junmyeon said your girls told him. My boys have been invited. We are all going — tonight.”

“They are,” he lifted both hands and intertwined his fingers in front of his face, “they are all together now.”

After he finally got the entire message out he giggled quietly to himself.

“Woooo,” he breathed through his mouth, making a little sound as he did it, “I’m drunk — hitting me now. Fucking tequila.”

He smiled that breathtaking smile right at you before he turned and left. You noticed he took a right turn at one of the hallways ahead of you and you were thankful that in his drunken mind he knew the layout of this hotel enough to be able to find a different route back to the party.

You counted to twenty inside of your head before you took the first step and it only took you a few moments before someone grabbed you by the arm, linking a warm elbow within yours with a cheerful smile on her face. There was another girl on the other side, equally as warm. These were your people.

“We found her!” They both cheered in unison toward a much larger group of people who all lingered on the outskirts of the now, winding down party. “Round two! Round Two!” A noisy chorus rang out and you were not once let go of someone’s tight grip on you as you were steered quite deliberately out of this hotel ballroom, into an elevator that moved down to the street level and out of this building entirely.

From the murmuring around you, you gathered that Baekhyun’s cousin owned a swanky bar up the street; easily within walking distance. Spirits were high and the group of people was larger than you thought would be able to fit inside of a single bar. Worries were hushed and Baekhyun assured everyone that he texted his cousin and the bar was completely ours for the rest of the night. There would be food and alcohol and music and even, “An open mic should anyone wish to serenade someone special,” one of Baekhyun’s noisier friends said with a dramatic wink of his eye that earned him a hard smack on the back.

You had no idea who anyone was. There were just so many of them. You did hear someone calling one of them Junmyeon and you knew this had to be the one who had called Baekhyun earlier. There was also a Minseok who was shockingly pretty for a man, and Jongdae who was the loudest of all of them. If you had thought Baehyun’s best friend Chanyeol had been loud, apparently you just hadn’t heard Jongdae’s volume yet. There were some others who were much quieter, and one with striking, large, very expressive eyes who hadn’t said a single word since you’d seen him. He did give you a sweet smile and a little nod of his head which put you at ease. You were certain he was a delight on his own, but with this group, he probably just couldn't be bothered with competing against the other very loud, very chatty members of the group.

Swanky seemed like not a grand enough word to describe this place. The word “bar” was such a vast understatement it hardly even deserved to be used at all. This place was the highest of high end; the kind of place without a name on the door, without a listed phone number; with a strict clientele of only the city’s most elite visitors. You were sure most of the people who walked by that door on the street level had no idea what kind of beauty and opulence lay just inside. They would never know either.

The moment you stepped inside the fragrance, the lighting, the shimmer and glimmer and the air even, all enveloped your body entirely in what could only be described as the kind of warmth you feel coating your skin when you slip into a hot bathtub. It was like slipping out of your bra and restrictive loathing and slipping on a silk nightgown that expensive smooth fabric that glides against your skin.

You were all ushered toward a large table and one by one, people sat down. Baekhyun was sidetracked by a beautiful woman who pulled him in for a tight hug. She spoke to him in joyous up close whispers and he replied in kind with giggles and smiles, grabbing his hand and shaking it, giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek. You were unprepared to face the hot surge of jealousy you felt deep inside your chest and you had to look away from this exchange. You focused instead on keeping the sweet smile etched onto your face. Your hands were shaking and your feet moved as if the floor was covered in super glue, but you kept that smile up for long enough for you to find a spot to sit at the big table.

Your just clear enough mind fought very hard against your heart and pulled your legs to sit down in the empty seat between Sandi and Marci before you could linger too long on the empty one beside where Baekhyun was headed, on the opposite side of this enormous table.

You didn’t need to feel the warmth of his body beside you.

You didn’t need to be reminded of how good he smelled.

Dishes of food arrived and fresh drinks were passed around and the small waitstaff was overly attentive and polite. The delicious food did more for your mind than any fake smiles did. You could feel your blood clearing the more you ate and as the food went in, you kept your focus on the food in front of you, on the drinks in front of you, on the company of women that sat on either side of you for long enough to get a handle on it. For just long enough for you to trust yourself enough to look up and across that table at the pair of dark brown eyes that you could feel watching you at this very moment. As he ate, as he laughed, as he talked and joked, as he drank; those eyes always found you. You were right to put some distance between you both.

The air in the room shifted then as the hum of the A/C sounded out suddenly and you felt a slight chill in the air. It was probably because you were sobering up some and the heat from the liquor wasn’t warming you from the inside anymore but you could feel an alarming sensation from below your revealing dress as the chill puckered your skin.

Oh no. Your stickers were long gone. A weird self conscious thought invaded your mind and you pulled out your cell phone to send the quickest discrete text message to your boyfriend. You kept the phone below the table as you did it and you gave it a second before you saw his attention drawn to the phone in his pocket.

His hands moved below the table and you watched the tick of his pupils as he read your message. There was a quick movement of his thumbs and your phone vibrated once, telling you he had responded to your question. He did not look at you at all but was well into a long discussion with the men who sat around him.

“Can you tell that my stickers are gone?”

”yes.”

He answered you so very quickly. He didn't even look up to verify that he could actually see your ice cold nipples poking straight out, ruining the luxurious look of this dress. This wouldn’t do. You rose to your feet and excused yourself for the bathrooms; all the while crossing your arms over your chest as you rubbed hands over your bare forearms in some attempt to warm yourself up. You needed a first hand look in the mirror. Maybe someone had a suit jacket you could borrow. With all of these charming young men surely one of them could sacrifice theirs for a lady with a chill.

You had to walk past his end of the table to get to the bathrooms and you noticed he shifted his weight a bit as soon as you began moving; all while still not looking at you. He continued carrying on with his friends; laughing and joking as if you were of no interest to him at all. If only you could borrow a tiny bit of his self control right now, you might not have been watching him so intensely.

He stood up on his feet the moment you came right up to his side on your journey through the room.

In a swift motion, Baekhyun, stood on his legs and he removed his blue suit jacket, then he turned it around, leaned over to where you stood and placed it right over your shoulders as you walked by and the moment the warmth and the smell of him landed over your back, coating you entirely in the heat you’ve been craving since you walked into this bar, your feet stalled their forward motion and you actually froze in place.

Not him though, the action was smooth as hell. Just as fluidly as his initial surprising movement started, he continued the motion and spun back around in a circle, sitting down seamlessly, effortlessly, and very quickly as if he had never even gotten up in the first place.

But he did. He did get up. He did give you his warm jacket with all of his body heat and scent and he did it right here. He put it on you himself with his own two hands.

And everyone saw him do it.

He did that in this room full of people — people who had been drinking all night, people who knew the both of you, people who, at least half of which, knew of his intense crush on you. The room erupted into a drunken cacophony of hoots and hollers and you could feel the blood rushing straight up your neck and warming the skin of your cheeks.

“Shut up. She was just cold.” You heard his complaints clearly as he was obviously trying his best to quiet down the excitement he had just caused, “You guys are so dumb.”

You forced your feet to move. Gripping the lapel of his jacket tightly around your shoulders you took another step and then another, moving quickly away from the noise and chaos he had just caused, towards the sanctity of that bathroom that you so desperately needed right now.

After a few quiet moments your phone buzzed once.

“Sorry,” was all his text message read.

You opened it and read it but you did not reply. Instead you used the toilet, washed your hands, used your ice cold hands to cool the hot skin on your face as you gave yourself a quietly whispered little pep talk about what you should be doing with your eyes while you were out there. You decided that you would strike up an intense conversation with Sandi about her love life. You would be engrossed enough to hear about her escapades to keep your mind off of the handsome man who sat at the end of that table ignoring you while his very attractive “cousin” or whatever the hell she really was to him, giggled at his jokes and gave him free appetizers, and told him about a girl she was going to set him up on a blind date with and called him Sweetness in a saccharine tone. Did she think she was a southern debutante?

You derailed your own pep talk with the pain you felt in the palm of your hand. You were squeezing down so hard you saw little half moons pressed by your fingernails into your palm.

You took several deep calming breaths. You recognized that you were acting ridiculous. Self awareness is the first step to recovery. You reminded yourself of this mid-calming breath and when you emerged from that bathroom and stepped out into the hallway you noticed that much of that chaos and noise from earlier had settled down. You could hear voices, some excited shouting and some groaning and it sounded like the group had finished dinner and had moved on to some sort of game. Knowing this group, it was likely a drinking game; hence the over the top groaning and cheering.

A quick peek around the corner kept your feet from moving forward because Baekhyun’s chair was empty. Had he left for the bathrooms as well?

Your shameless curiosity drove your legs to move in the other direction because your ears picked up on a familiar voice, just off a corner from where you stood.

It was his voice for sure. He was chatting and there was a word attached to a statement in a woman’s voice that gripped you so tightly to hear it said out loud.

Fiancé

She said the word fiancé.

Only the word and its meaning was skewed and broken because she was speaking to him quite obviously, about someone other than you.

“I saw your fiancé the other day,” she said. You felt a spindly pins and needles sensation slipping up the back of your spine.

He responded in a low voice. You couldn't make out what he said. It was some sort of low, rough tone.

“Oh really? That’s not what I heard.” She replied in a cocky, confident tone and you heard him clear his throat. Was that a nervous, caught sort of throat clearing? Was it annoyed or denial? Your lungs burned and you felt as if there wasn’t enough air to clear the anxious buzzing happening inside of your skull.

Fiancé? You felt a dizzy, sinking feeling inside.

Had Baekhyun been engaged to marry someone? Someone he loved, maybe? You could not help the way your neck craned to get closer and the few steps you took as you closed your eyes, begging to be able to hear what he was saying to her. The sounds of his clear yet quiet voice, at last, broke through the noise.

“last year — bullshit — excuse for a mother — my life is mine — can think whatever they want — drove me to a point — almost gave up — ”

You only got bits of it but from the little you had to work with you could tell right away and with the realization came an instant shame that covered from the over of your head down straight into your chest. This wasn’t something he had chosen. It wasn’t something he wanted any part of. Someone had been forcing him into it. And at some point last year, during his lowest point it seemed, fueled by some personal crisis, triggered and hopeless, desperately awful in every way — he called it all off.

Something so huge had happened in his life during that time and you had no idea about any of it.

You felt an acrid taste in the back of your throat. You took a step back and away from this and quickekend your steps further once you were sure you were out of earshot.

This isn't something you wanted to overhear about him like a sneaky jealous girlfriend who just couldn't stand the idea that every single bit of his mind was occupied only with you. You pulled the suit coat tighter around your shoulders as you moved. You felt dirty and unworthy of the sweet warmth he had given you as you did it. It was an awful feeling; knowing you had overheard something like that; something he likely didn’t want you to know about.

You wanted him to tell you all about his past, no matter how painful it was, but with his own two lips. You wanted him to share his past pain with you just as you would share your own past with him; but only when you both were ready for it and only on each other's terms.

Your stomach ached with the idea of leaving this to fester. Leaving this guilty feeling to sit inside of you without speaking to him about it; without apologize to him for your blatant jealous, shameful eavesdropping.

You had found a small nook just off of that hallway and you stood there chewing on your thumb nail and you waited.

It didn't take very long before you saw the first glimpse of him. He wa heading back to the table and you reached a hand out, touching his arm from where you were hidden inside of your little hole. He actually flinched and yelped out in surprise when you touched him.

“Jesus,” he was holding his chest as he whispered.

“Can I talk to you for a second? Just for a minute, please.” You recognized the serious tone on your own voice and it had you cringing for how ridiculously bad you felt about this. His face shifted instantly. He was overcome with a look of genuine concern and worry and he nodded his head, looked once behind him and made a motion with his hand toward another area of the bar. It was a space just off the kitchens where he led you to and once you followed him back there you found him leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his own chest in a fully protective stance. His eyes were full of worry and you realized that your choice of words, the ‘can we talk’ thing must have sent a jolt of panic through him; as it would have sent through you.

The second you came close enough for his whispered words to reach your ears you saw the small step he took in your direction. He lifted a trembling hand to reach out toward you and on his lips was the beginning of a pleading apology.

“I’m sorry about the jacket — ” he began. You lifted a hand and shook your head to cut him off.

“This isn’t about anything you did. I owe you an apology and I need to say it now or it’s going to destroy me from the inside.”

Your quick words closed up his mouth and his shoulders sagged as he his face ticked to the side in confusion. His didn’t speak but his eyebrows furrowed and you caught the stuttered breath that caught halfway inside his throat as he tried to breath through it.

“I overheard your conversation just now with your cousin. It was not my place to hear it. I was dealing with some imaginary jealousy about how friendly and how familiar you were with her and I heard you two talking and before I could stop myself, I was listening to what you both spoke about. I’m so sorry I did that. It was awful of me to do. I feel as if… that was your private … life .. and if the tables were turned and you had done what I did, I might be upset about it. I’m so sorry, Baekhyun.”

He was motionless throughout your entire confession and apology and when you were done speaking you inhaled a deep breath and held it as you anxiously watched his face for any signs of what he was thinking about what you had done.

You saw a wave of motion move through him and he turned away from you for a moment as his hand ran over the length of his face. When he angled himself back in your direction his brown eyes sat heavy and deep within your own and he looked at you with a pull of his chin upward.

Before he spoke he licked his lips and his face twisted into the smallest grimace.

“You didn’t need to ever tell me that you heard that—” He started speaking. A clear upward inflection in his words that signaled very plainly that he wasn’t finished speaking with this one phrase. You couldn’t help yourself though.

Your nerves had your hands shaking and your voice trembling. “It was wrong of me to list—” you interrupted him but as soon as your words left your lips he raised a hand to stop you from speaking. You knew you were wrong. You knew you were moving out of turn and his quick hand and with the tight way he closed his eyes, instantly stopped your silly tongue from moving any further.

“Stop, please—“ he begged quietly and you bit down on your lips to keep yourself better behaved.

“You— didn’t need to tell me this…you could have gone the rest of our lives never mentioning that you knew this until one day it came up and I told you — I told you how painful it was, how hard it was for me at the time and you could have just pretended not to know and acted so surprised to hear that yes, I was being forced to marry someone I don’t know, against my will, my entire life and future being stolen from me because of disgusting greed and how very fucking close I came to not even existing at all anymore because of that pain—”

“I would have told you about this. Absolutely, and without a doubt, I would have told you everything, but you — you — instead you — instead you have given me honesty. You chose, for me, to be so very gracious and beautifully true to me and save me the years of the indignity of believing something about you that isn’t true.”

“Do you realize how insanely unparalleled you are? Do you have any idea how high of a standard you set?”

“How can I ever compare to you? I think I would have listened and I wouldn’t have even felt guilty about it. I wouldn’t have told you I heard anything. I don’t feel like I deserve you at all, but goddammit I love you so much I feel like I’m going to cry.”

His heavy words pulled your arms down from your chest and they hung lifelessly by your side. You felt pulled in every way, down into this carpeting that covered the floor below your feet. You had to close your eyes and drop your face and you slumped and sagged deep on the inside under the immense weight of all of this.

“You don't have to be so quick to forgive me,” you whispered and you heard the movement in front of you when he took a step. You noticed the shadow of his arms moving around you a second before you felt the warmth of his embrace as he circled himself around you, pulling your shoulders inward with the pressure of his hug; he pulled you firmly into his chest; tucking his face into your hair just over your shoulder and the breathe he inhaled from here trembled and shook.

“There is no part of my life that I want to keep private from you,” he spoke directly into your ear and you stumbled backward with the force of this embrace. “Let’s just think of this as a fortuitous event. Now I don't have to lie to you or come up with some stupid excuse for why I’m too much of a coward to answer my mother’s phone calls.”

“I don't think that’s cowardice, Baekhyun. You don't want to be hurt. Anyone would avoid pain if they can help it.” You could feel the relaxation in his limbs as he loosened the tight hold he had on you. You used this opportunity to lift a hand and lightly tap along his arm, urging him to let you go. The crisis had passed and you were lucid enough to know that this sort of embrace was definitely not something co-workers did, no matter how much they had had to drink that night.

The food you’d both had earlier had really done some wonders for your resolve and self control because he let you go quietly and took a step back, leaning against the wall with his arms firmly crossed but much lower over his chest this time.

This time, it wasn’t to protect his heart from whatever potentially damaging word you might need to tell him. Now he took on a much more relaxed posture that looked almost too casual. He had a slight grin on his lips and his eyes had a bit of mischief that always, always put you on some level of alert. You knew this look. It was never good news.

“So you were jealous,” he said with a little head shake, “of my cousin?” With the second part of his question he sneered and lifted both of his eyebrows with a forced look of disapproval but just enough self serving amusement for you to understand that he was more much more flattered than creeped out by your ill-placed jealousy.

You rolled your eyes and you were certain much of the disgust he should have felt when he thought about a close relative was displayed all over your face. Why did he look so amused by you?

“She’s very touchy — calls you Sweetness — ugh, kisses you on the cheek and hugs you so tight with her,” you motioned with your hands over your own chest, “body pressed all up against you. I couldn't tell if she was actually a close family friend that you just called a cousin who obviously wants to sleep with you, or a real, honest-to-god first cousin.” A new thought occurred and you inhaled to keep going, “ugh, or like one of those fourth cousins, twice removed; the ones that you're legally allowed to marry and make babies with even if it is technically still gross.”

His eyes narrowed, with that smile still firmly planted in place on his lips and he looked up and away from your face. He was silent for a few seconds too long and his eyes trailed up over the top of your head. He was doing some intense thinking. Some genome math. Some heavy generational calculating. You did not like the looks of this.

“Actually, I think she might be like a third cousin, now that you put it that way. Pretty sure, legally, we would be allowed to get married and make tons of babies. The genes are technically far enough apart. It would still be kinda weird though... I mean, for me. I don't know how she would feel about it.”

A sound broke free from deep within your chest. It was a disgusted grunt and you threw your head back and released it from deep within you as you turned around; giving your back to him so you could walk away from this ridiculous man. You ignored the teasing little ‘he-he-hes’ that broke free from his mouth. You were done. You were finished with this conversation, if he was going to admit out loud that technically she wasn’t even close enough of a cousin to be illegal to marry — and how dare he one-up on your reasonable and vague number of babies by making it “tons of babies” — you didn’t want to hear any more. Not only was your jealousy justified, but this man was gross. Not legally gross, but technically gross.

You were walking away. You could hear him calling after you as you did it.

“But hey, I’m young and single right? I’m single and lonely and pathetic for the next four days, right?” The sassy, sarcastically delivered quip stopped you in your tracks and you instantly turned back around, took three quick steps toward him so you could look right into his face. Just so you could see the look in his eyes as he dared to say such a thing. He seemed to physically recoil to see you return so suddenly.

You did not say anything; all you did was look at him but it seemed to elicit a strong reaction from him. His jaw snapped shut and his laughing, teasing expression shifted and turned extremely grave and serious with your unexpected and sudden return.

“I’m sorry. I was kidding. It was a joke.” He said the moment he was able to inhale a breath to speak, he gasped again, “joke — j-joke. Please don't hurt me.” He whispered nervously and you balked at the suggestion that you would dare resort to violence. All you could do was shake your head in disbelief. All you could do was lay a hand over your chest at the audacity of this man and after a few moments of neither of you moving, you simply turned and walked away.

You returned to your seat at the table alone; although, still wearing his blue coat. The color complimented the shimmering sparkle of your pretty dress perfectly and it was warm and it smelled like him. You wiggled into your seat and Sandi and Marci each handed you a drink. One had beer and the other was smaller and had liquor. Were you really up to another round of this?

It didn’t really seem much up to you because another game was starting and you were up. This game was two truths and a lie. If your falsehood was sniffed out you had to drink and if you were safe with your lying skills the rest of the group had to drink. It was pretty cutthroat and the choice of the lie had to be unanimous and made within a 30 second timer. Phones were forbidden, even though these lies and truths were so personal there was no way someone would be able to google for an answer. Still, you were up first and you pondered for a few moments before you spoke. You picked something very safe. ‘I have never been on a rollercoaster. I am in my 30s. My first pet was a fish.’ Nothing risky and nothing incriminating but strangely enough the two options outside of your age had started quite the heated discussion. You smiled cryptically as even Baekhyun seemed genuinely torn between the rollercoaster and the fish option and when the timer on someone’s phone rang out the group scrambled and chose the roller coaster as your lie.

You shrugged and told them your first pet was a puppy and everyone groaned and drank their shots.

The game was fun and the further it progressed the more intense the discussions grew. There was analyzing from all perspectives and the truths and lies grew bolder and harder to believe.

The drinks were being thrown back at record speed and soon enough you felt the familiar buzz of the alcohol coursing through your system. Jongdae’s lie had been that he didn’t know how to tie shoes and there was much shouting as all of the men around him pointed out his perfectly tied shoelaces. Someone else mentioned how they saw him personally tying his daughter’s shoes the other day at the park and he was easily snuffed out. Baekhyun was up next and he lifted his finger to his lips in thought for a moment before he spoke out.

“I have a diplomatic passport. I own the hotel we were just at. I am in love with someone from work.”

The gasps were loud and came from all sides of the table at his scandalous words. Each one seemingly of equal intensity and you did you best to keep your expression neutral as you lifted your beer and took the smallest sip. The bottle in front of your mouth hid the tiny smile you had there and the discussion around the table seemed to be truly torn. All of the men believed the lie was about the hotel. There was much discussion about how much Baekhyun had to travel in his life and how that hotel had no mention of the Byun name on it. The men never even once questioned the phrase about Baekhyun’s work crush.

The women on the other hand seemed to fixate on this one. ‘I’ve never seen him interact with anyone except for Sunny, who he was training so he had to interact with her, and Miss Manager. Who else would it possibly be? He’s just too busy with actual work to be in love with someone. Unless he just never said anything and kept it to himself. I wonder who it is.’

Eventually the men were louder and pushier made their decision stick; doubting Baekhyun’s ownership of the hotel and you had to smile widely simply because you could not stand knowing exactly which was the lie and being powerless to say anything out loud about it. You simply sat here with your beer in your hand, relishing in his little confession hidden within this game.

They were all wrong. You had to take a shot as well and his eyes were on you as you did it. Those lovely eyes shot tiny little hearts in your direction and you hardly even felt the burn of the strong liquor going down your throat.

“The diplomatic passport?” Junmyeon asked Baekhyun noisily, demanding answers and Baekhyun just smiled and looked down into his drink.

“Wait, so you own the hotel? No way.” Marci asked him across the table and Baekhyun nodded his head once and lifted the beer to his lips.

“I don't believe it. They’re all lies. He’s lying about all of them.” Her tone was petulant; made sulkier sounding with the amount of alcohol she had consumed and he leaned over toward Marci with his own cell phone in his hand.

“Marci, look up the number of the hotel. You can watch me type it.”

Marci took the challenge personally and began reading numbers out loud which Baekhyun carefully typed into his phone. On the last number the entry changed to a saved phone number with the name of the hotel and he placed the call on speaker so everyone could hear. The phone rang exactly once before a polite voice answered.

“Mr. Byun, What can we do for you tonight?”

”Sooyoung, can you let me know how many empty rooms we have left tonight? My friends need somewhere to crash after the party. Do we have enough for,” he lifted his hands and counted each head at the table. You ignored it when he skipped you and you hoped to God these drunk people weren’t paying enough attention to notice that neither you, nor he got counted. “Ten more?” He said after counting. A typing sound echoed over the stunned and silenced group and after a few moments the woman returned to the line. “We have enough, Mr. Byun. I will get them ready for your friends. I’ll place the room keys under your name at the front desk, sir.”

He thanked the woman and the table erupted in more of that familiar chaos of cheers and applause. You noticed that Junmyeon (I am a Gemini. I love rabbits. My blood type is A), the man who sat right beside Baekhyun had a puzzled look on his face and he lifted a hand to count the heads at this table, coming back not quite with the same number as Baekhyun had counted and puzzling over it while looking down at his own finger.

“Wait a minute,” Marci called out noisily. “If you own the hotel, and you don't have a diplomatic passport,” she gasped out loud and covered her mouth with wide eyes as the pieces slowly began to fall into place for her, “then who are you in love with from work?”

The attention of the girls was back on Baekhyun, but suddenly the group of men all jeered in her direction, clearly covering for him. “Hey, don't ask that,” someone said admonishingly. “A man’s gotta have some secrets,” someone else said.

“I thought it was pretty obvious already,” Kyungsoo, the quiet man with the big eyes abruptly spoke out in a smooth and low voice that could not have been more unexpected seeing as how he hadn’t said anything at all since his round of two truths and a lie (I like cooking. I have three dogs. I own six pairs of the exact same pants.)

“Let’s play truth or dare then,” Marci spoke up, quite put out with being told to zip it by this group of pushy men when she was clearly way too invested in this love story to let it go. If there was one thing you knew about Marci it was that she loved the gossip. All gossip. Any gossip. She was a sucker for it all. She was in this for the drama.

The of girls all cheered and you braced for the possibility of having to drink a lot more alcohol if you ended up being dared to do anything too risky, or possibly anything at all involving Baekhyun.

The next game was up. Minseok emptied his beer bottle and placed it on its side in the middle of the table and gave it a good spin. Sure this game wasn’t spin the bottle, but everyone liked the randomness of selecting the next victim in this way. As if pulled by some sort of act of fate the first spin landed on you. All at once, everyone’s face turned to look at you expectantly.

“Umm…truth, I guess.” You said, fully prepared to lie through your teeth if you had to.

”Do you know who he is in love with?” Marci wasted no time at all and the entire table erupted in rabid laughter. The laughter from the men’s side of the table was more intense than anything you’d heard from the group yet.

You steeled yourself; put on your best poker face, the one you used during business meetings and negotiations and you shrugged your shoulders with a slightly disappointed frown.

”I do not,” you said. The disappointed groans from all around were intense. Baekhyun’s eyes never left your face, not even for one second and you reached forward and grabbed the bottle to spin.

Tonight was not your night. The bottle landed on Baekhyun.

The noise was deafening and Baekhyun sat there with his eyes closed up tight in defeat with the smallest tense smile on his face.

“Truth or dare, Assistant Byun.” You said. You knew it was your part to ask, being the last one to spin the bottle.

“Truth,” he said, opening his eyes to look into your face.

Your mouth felt too dry and you sipped a little of your beer as you pondered the kind of question you could ask him that would satisfy this insane group of people but wouldn’t give anything away.

“Ask him who he loves. Do it. Do it,” Marci, Sunny, Dani, everyone was begging you to do it. The pressure you felt in this very moment was astounding. You had to inhale a slow and careful breath just to be able to stand this. The only silent one was Sandi beside you and you looked toward her just as she looked away from you.

You received her message. You figure this one out. I’m out of ideas, she said to you with her avoidance. The woman wouldn't even look at you. She was suddenly extremely interested in something she pretended to notice on the drink menu on the table in front of her.

“Umm…Assistant Byun, do you want to tell us who you are in love with?” It was a dirty manager trick. You technically didn’t ask him to answer the question. Anyone who heard this question would see your good intentions as you presented them. You could play ignorance quite easily for the mistake with your words and Baekhyun lifted a single eyebrow and smiled easily. God, he was a pretty man.

“Not really,” he said, clearly answering the question with honesty and satisfying the measure of the truth aspect of the game while still revealing absolutely nothing, thanks to your creative evasion.

The entire table moaned and groaned out loud. Some shouted in your direction, telling you to ask more directly next time and you laughed and gave your easy apologies to satiate this group of absolute drunken maniacs.

Whenever Baekhyun or any of his boys remained in charge of the line of questioning, things went pretty smoothly. They really were a good group of friends who had his back. The first real bit of trouble came when Marci had the spin and her bottle landed on Junmyeon who sat chewing on his fingernails beside a glaring Baekhyun.

“Truth,” she shouted ravenously, “or dare.” She added as an afterthought. She was trying to influence his decision and as his lips formed the letter D you actually heard her growling in his direction.

He caved so easily. A timid, “Truth?” Came from his lips and Marci pounced instantly.

“Who is Baekhyun in love with? I know you know.” Baekhyun was moving fast. He had his hands on the trembling man. The entirety of his side of the table filled with men were holding in their laughter, holding their bellies that hurt from laughing so much, and many of them braced for something to happen. Every single one of them had clearly had too much to drink by now. They would all suffer dearly for the over indulgence tomorrow, but tonight was just too much fun to stop now.

Junmyeon’s eyes went wide with terror and Baekhyun had lifted a hand to lay over the back of Junmyeon’s neck. You thought he might even be gripping tightly into his neck where no one could see.

”You’re thirsty, aren’t you.” Baekhyun lifted a shot of liquor up to Junmyeon’s lips and Junmyeon nodded his head and quickly and quietly swallowed the alcohol that Baekhyun poured into his mouth.

Beside them both, Jongdae was down on the floor laughing and wheezing through the tears that fell from his eyes.

You couldn't help your own laughter. The evening had progressed to such a point and so many near disaster moments had been carefully avoided you found yourself laughing just as much as the rest of them. Your cheeks were sore and your belly was sore and Junmyeon was spinning now. His bottle landed on Marci and everyone screamed out loud in agony recognizing that the cycle was never ending.

Marci was too determined, as were the other girls who had joined in this quest to uncover Baekhyun’s truth even if they had to sell their souls to do it. Theories began to be thrown around. It had to be someone here. Otherwise those men wouldn't have been so protective of Baekhyun and his secret. The girls were on fire; eyeing everyone else suspiciously on your side of the table and the next major crisis hit when Sunny’s spin landed on the aloof and very exhausted Kyungsoo. He had already had so much to drink and you could see the fatigue with all of this on his face.

In his best attempt at it, he picked dare.

“I dare you to whisper into my ear, the name of the person Baekhyun is in love with.”

The table had gone silent. These men knew the threat that they suddenly faced and Baekhyun’s eyes watched his friend with genuine worry. He blinked quickly and you heard the smallest plea, “Kyungsoo,” he said quietly.

You had some sort of an idea about this man. If anyone could stand up to Baekhyun and the rest of these men, it was probably Kyungsoo. He had a quiet sort of authority that you didn’t think many people would question. It wasn’t that he was unkind toward his friend. The man simply had a definite limit and had clearly reached it.

”I can’t drink anymore Baekhyun,” His words were very slurred and slowed down. The man stood up and rounded the table to where Sunny sat with an elated smile wide on her face and you watched with your heart in your throat as a whispered exchange happened between the two of them.

Kyungsoo then stood up straight and simply walked back to his seat and sat down.

Sunny though. Sunny’s hands flew up to her mouth to cover her surprised gasp and her wide eyes flew around the table as her entire face turned pink with excitement.

On both of her sides the girls were tapping her, and begging to be let in on the secret. It really did seem as if they knew something concrete with how very stunned they all looked once they had learned of the secret name.

Across the table, Baekhyun stared ahead of himself without any focus.

Everyone was very drunk already. Maybe no one would remember any of this tomorrow.

The group of men had all gone silent and after a few moments of whispering between the girls that pointedly did not land into your ears, a strange silence fell over the room.

“Well?” you said rather unceremoniously and abruptly. You couldn't stand this anymore. The cat was clearly out of the bag and you needed to know exactly what Kyungsoo had told Sunny and what had that girl all flushed and bashful about. You needed to know what you were working with to know how to act about it.

You needed either some damage control, or some denial to be happening right now but none of them were telling you anything. They just looked into each other’s faces and down at the table in front of them.

Your question was ignored. It was very unlike them, but they did it.

It was Kyungsoo’s spin and he grabbed the bottle and gave it a good go. You watched that stupid thing come to a stop pointed right at you and you lifted your eyes to look at the man.

“Truth,” you said before he had a chance to ask. As soon as you spoke, he did too.

“How do you feel about Baekhyun?” When the man said he was tired, he really meant it. He wasted no time. You felt the heat of everyone’s eyes on your face and the longer you sat here with this question hanging in the air above your head the less you really cared that much about what you chose to do. You avoided all of their eyes as you deliberated.

If you answered truthfully, well…

If you drank to avoid the question, well…

You weren’t much for bravery. You grabbed your shot glass and downed the liquor. The moment the glass touched your lips the table exploded. Someone was shaking Baekhyun by the shoulders, pulling him violently back and forth and you could see the laughter on his face.

“She didn’t answer it!” someone shouted excitedly.

“That could also mean she hates him and is just too nice to say it!” someone else shouted with the exact same level of enthusiasm.

You truly began to feel a lot of the same fatigue that Kyungsoo had been complaining about. His head was down on the table now and his eyes were closed. You couldn't be sure he hadn’t passed out right here at the table.

It was your spin and you gave it a good go. It landed on Marci and she looked into your face with her lips pulled up tight in surprise. She gave you the tiniest hiccup as a response and you looked into her face; suddenly very, very tired of playing this game.

“Truth or dare?” You said to her. Her choice did not matter. You would get it out of her either way.

She picked dare and you shrugged, “I dare you to tell me who he is in love with. You can whisper it into my ear if you want.”

Marci looked nervously around the room. No one seemed to have any suggestions or offer her any help and so she just swallowed nervously and leaned into you.

You heard her small inhale up close to your ear before she whispered, “Baekhyun is in love with you.”

The sensation of hearing this whispered into your ear at a time like this, while being closely observed by every single person at this table who knew what you had just been told was like an out-of-body experience.

You were floating up above your body. You could see the top of your head, you watched the nervous way you reached out for your beer and lifted it to take a big drink of it. You could see yourself fidgeting with the napkin underneath the beer, tearing it into tiny pieces with your fingertips and rolling the bits into little logs that you dropped onto the table cloth. This whole setting was a mess and you had been the one to make the mess. Across the table, you saw Baekhyun as he sat there completely motionless with arms crossed tightly over his chest, his posture sagging low in his seat and his eyes watching your face intently. It didn't look like he was breathing.

The entire bar was so quiet you could have whispered and every single person at this table would have heard you.

You inhaled a breath and blinked slowly, pulling your eyes up to look into Baekhyun’s across this table. You still did not feel like you were inside of your own body; making these choices; saying these words. You were not involved in this anymore. This woman who wore your face and sat here in your spot was inhaling to speak and opening her mouth as she prepared her voice to say something.

“Byun Baekhyun,” you said. Ten stunned faces turned away from you and looked at Baekhyun.

“Yes ma’am?” He answered through clenched teeth.

Tiny gasps peppered throughout the group. It was like a tennis match, they were looking at you again. Faces were covered with hands; gaping mouths were hanging open; someone was making a wild whimpering sound and smacking someone next to them in excitement.

“I don't think it’s her turn to ask. Marci is the one who has to spin next.”

“Oh my God, shut the fuck up. Let her speak.”

“What the fuck is happening right now.”

“I am going to pee my pants.”

“Yes ma’am. He said, yes ma’am.”

“She said his fucking name. Let them speak.”

The rules no longer seemed to matter anymore.

Kyungsoo had lifted his head from the table and was watching you too.

“Are you in love with me?” You looked into his brown eyes, doing your very best to keep the tremble out of your hands. You had to shake your head a little bit to clear some of the heavy nerves that suddenly made your mouth go dry and Baekhyun did not answer your question right away.

”I thought you said not tonight.” His muttered response was cryptic and vague enough to bring more confused faces back to watch you for your answer. He was right. You had been the one to make this rule and you were the first one to break it. You’d always been very good at breaking all of your own stupid rules when it came to him.

“Baekhyun, are you in love with me?” The attention was back on him and he lifted both of his hands and rubbed them roughly over the length of his face.

Someone beside him poked him lightly on the arm, whispering something encouraging in his ear. Answer her. Tell her. Say it.

His eyes were closed.

When he inhaled to speak, a single earth-shattering word rang out.

“Yes,” he said.

He spoke it so softly; pulling his eyes back up, opening them and letting them land squarely inside of your eyes. He left the word to linger on his open mouth for a moment before he inhaled another half breath; just enough air for him to speak again.

“Yes, I am. I love you. Desperately.”

No one was moving. No one was breathing. Mouths and eyes hung wide open.

“Holy shit,” someone whispered under their breath. “This is insane,” someone else whispered to the person at their side.

The silence was going on for too long and someone cleared their throat. You hadn’t responded with any words to Baekhyun’s answer to your question and after much too long of everyone sitting shell-shocked it was Kyungsoo who moved first. He reached forward and spun the bottle in the middle of the table and twelve sets of eyes stared down at the spinning thing until it came to a clumsy meandering stop pointed directly at the man who had just shocked the entire room with his love confession to you.

“Baekhyun, I dare you to kiss her.”

The once silent table erupted in commotion again. There was an excited energy surging through every single person at this table and you had to close your eyes to block out the pinkness you saw in his cheeks as his friends all tugged at his sleeve, shook his shoulders, sent urging words deep into his ears with such intense insistence that he finally sighed out loud and asked his friends a simple question.

“Should I?”

Baekhyun was pushing himself away from his seat at the table. He was standing up on his two wobbling legs and he took several large steps in your direction.

Your eyes were wide as you watched him. You felt too surprised to do anything other than watch to see what he would actually do.

You hadn’t expected the speed with which he reached your side and you felt so caught off guard with his sudden close proximity that you stood up the moment he came up to you.

It all happened so quickly. You had stood to face the man who marched up to you and you gasped when you felt his arm slip around the back of your waist. He pulled you into him and you stumbled enough for his coat to fall off of your shoulders and pool down at your feet.

Your balance felt unsteady. You reached for his waist out of habit, out of that familiarity with the shape of this man and the way he fit so perfectly with your body. You wrapped your arms around his waist at the same moment as he reached up with his other hand and cradled your face in the palm of his hand and his eyes were down on your lips.

He leaned into you then. He kissed you. Right here with everyone watching.

He pressed his soft lips into yours and the gasps of shock from all around were drowned out by the loud pounding of your heartbeat inside of your ear drums. He tilted his head into you. You pulled his lips in between yours and you felt the soft wetness of his tongue as he slipped it along the surface of your teeth, biting down lightly on your bottom lip as he pulled away slightly, only to come back into you; deeper this time. Hungrier and more demanding. Definitely not something two people kissing for the very first time did. Definitely not the kind of kiss for a room full of witnesses.

Oh, you felt ablaze with this. You’d forgotten every single rule you’d ever fooled yourself into believing you could follow.

When at last Baekhyun pulled his mouth off of yours, you felt the trembling inside of your chest at this brazen act. Your hands felt shaky, your legs felt like you might drop at any second. You felt your breathing too heavy to settle easily and he rested his forehead over yours as he breathed just as heavily.

Your hand had wandered and you dropped your fingers from where they had threaded into his hair at the nape of his neck. With your bodies pressed up against each other’s and his heavy breaths fanning over your wet lips he opened his eyes and looked into yours and your lips pulled into the smallest smile. This kiss felt like the beginning of something. You felt an overwhelming relief surging through your chest and you watched his own smile slowly manifesting on his face. You leaned into him, placing the smallest kiss on that pretty smile of his. The man giggled softly when you did it.

“Jesus Christ.”

“Byun Baekhyun, you goddamn—”

“The son of a bitch did it.”

“He did it”

“A long time ago from the looks of it”

You had to turn your head away from them all; covering your mouth with a trembling hand you moved and you felt curious movement from his fingertips along your right hand that now hung limp by your waist.

He was lifting your hand. He was pulling at your ring finger there and you turned to look at his actions as he very steadily and carefully removed the diamond engagement ring you’d been wearing on the wrong hand all night.

He held it up in between his thumb and index finger and peered through the hole of the ring before he turned to you with his empty hand raised, palm up asking for you to give him your left hand.

You were out of any bit of resistance. You laughed and lifted your left hand and placed it carefully inside of his and he slipped the ring onto the ring finger of your left hand with the widest, cheekiest, most breathtakingly beautiful smile you’d ever seen.

You responded to that smile with a hopeless laugh of your own and you felt him lifting your left hand up in the air.

“What?!” their voices all shouted.

“They’re getting married?!”

“What is happening?”

“Oh my god I can't believe this”

”You’ve got to be kidding me. Since when???”

”Are you telling me we didn’t know anything about this?”

Chairs had fallen to the floor. Drinks were spilled and dripped messily all over the table and the floor. People were on their feet shouting. Some were screaming. Some were laughing and clapping. First in confusion, then in understanding and acceptance and the place was a thunderstorm of so much commotion that even the staff and chefs had come out from the kitchen to gawk at the strange occurrence that was happening out in their dining room.

“For the record, I knew.” Sandi raised a hand at last and the reactions were mixed. Some demanded to know how she would have dared to keep this big a secret for so long. Others were simply flabbergasted that such a big thing could have happened right under their noses.

Baekhyun was giggling. The unparalleled joy you saw in his face matched the elation you felt inside of your body as you laughed with him. Doing your best to answer whatever questions you could answer as tactfully and respectfully as possible and after much of the chaos and drama had subsided enough for you to manage to get a word in you raised your voice, calling all of their attention again.

“By the way,” you began with a smile as you turned to look into his joyful face.

Your next words sent them into a wild round of cheers and applause.

“You are all invited to the wedding.”

The End.

Thank you for reading. I love you all!

Can I Stay? Masterlist

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo smut #baekhyun #exo fic #exo scenario #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfic #completed

[loove-persevering]

Grand Gesture (Steve Harrington x reader!) S4 SPOILERS!

 Description: REQUEST! Steve Harrington x Reader where the reader is seeing how close Nancy and Steve are and the looks they give. When the Reader goes to Eddie Steve gets confused and a little jealous because he actually has feelings for her. It is a fem reader x Steve as that's how I normally write and it wasn't in the request!

NOTE*** This DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS for season 4 the ENTIRE season! If you do not want to see a spoiler DO NOT read. I also tried to be as neutral as I could in the writing with trying not to use descriptions of appearance. If I slipped up at any point I sincerely apologize!

_____

 ‘’I mean it’s like he doesn’t even care that I am around,’’ You say, flinging your hands in the air. ‘’I may as well be nothing compared to her, I try so hard to get him to notice me and all he does is play this game with Nancy.’’ You tell Eddie. ‘’Like am I not good enough?’’ You ask him completely laying out your feelings. 

 Eddie and you had history but not the romantic kind. You used to live right next to each other and would hangout from time to time when you were still in highschool. He would try to explain D&D to you but you would never fully comprehend that game. When Max told you about Eddie being with Chrissy the night she died you knew he was innocent, you knew enough about Eddie to know he could never do such a thing. 

 ‘’You’re great Y/N,’’ Eddie assures you. 

 ‘’He’s been giving me such mixed signals, when Nancy isn’t around I truly think he likes me and has feelings for me but with all this happening it’s like whenever she is around I am like-It’s like he doesn’t even see me.’’ You tell him. ‘’I make it pretty damn obvious that I like him too,’’ You tell him. ‘’Am I talking too much do you want to talk about, well uh your situation?’’ You ask gesturing to the boat house you were in. 

 ‘’Yeah I know you do,’’ Eddie says teasingly. ‘’And not really, kinda nice to get it off my mind for a bit.’’

 You glare at him, ‘’Hey you said I could talk to you, you’re not suppose to judge me while I do it.’’ You tell him and begin to pace around again. ‘’I mean what else can I do?’’ You ask him. ‘’Like how can I compete with Nancy Wheeler?’’ 

 ‘’You don’t compete with her,’’ Eddie says to you. You were confused an opened your mouth to yell at him that he was being absurd but he beat you to it holding a finger up to you, ‘’Here me out, you and Nancy Wheeler…’’He pauses, ‘’Two different ballparks.’’ He says bringing his hands up crossing them over one another. ‘’Think about you and Nancy what do you have in common besides this,’’ He says waving his hands all over the place, ‘’Whole thing.’’ 

 You cross your arms over your chest trying to think about what he was asking. You and Nancy were completely different. ‘’I don’t know,’’ You admitted to him. 

‘’Steve has already dated Nancy right?’’ Eddie asks and you nod. ‘’And she left him for the Byers kid right?’’ He asks. 

 ‘’Jonathan yes,’’ You answer by clarifying the name. 

 ‘’So there are unresolved feelings, he doesn’t know what could’ve happened had they stayed together.’’ He tells you. ‘’So you just need to show him that you are the better option.’’ 

 You groan your head falling back in response, ‘’But I do Eddie!’’ You say walking over to him, ‘’I literally do everything I can to get that boy's attention, I take extra shifts for him, I clean the bathrooms at work,’’ You pause. ‘’Both bathrooms,’’ You emphasized to him. ‘’Both.’’ 

 ‘’Have you ever done anything with him outside of work?’’ He asks you. 

 ‘’Well no,’’ You tell him and he gives you a look, ‘’But we did last night.’’ You tell him. ‘’When we came here and found you.’’ You tell him. 

 ‘’So the first time you hangout outside of work is when you go to hunt the accused town killer?’’ He asks, ‘’Not exactly an environment for a budding romance’’ He gestures around to the dirty boathouse. ‘’Let me tell you exactly what you need,’’ Eddie says, pointing his finger at you, ‘’A grand gesture.’’ 

 You sit down in the nearby stool and rest your elbows back against the counter watching Eddie, ‘’A grand gesture? How do I even do that?’’ You ask him. 

 Eddie gestures for you to come closer to him, you groan getting up walking over to him. When you finally step in front of him he grabs both sides of your arms and stares at you straight in the eye as he says it, ‘’You look that son of a bitch straight in the face,’’ He begins to say and you begin to laugh breaking eye contact with him, ‘’Straight in the face Y/N!’’ He tells you to shake your arms only to make you laugh more. ‘’And then you-’’ He begins to say but he’s cut off by the door slamming open, startling you both. 

 Dustin walked in first bags in his hands as he looked to where you and Eddie stood, everyone else followed in just after him and you noticed the look of shock on Steve’s face as he saw Eddie with his hands gripping the sides of your arms, both of you standing pretty close to one another. Eddie immediately drops his hands against his denim jeans. ‘’Delivery Service!’’ Dustin says cheerfully. 

 ‘’Are we uh-interrupting?’’ Steve asks his eyes specifically focused on you, he glances at Eddie a moment after. 

  ‘’No!’’ You and Eddie both yell simultaneously.  ‘’No we were just talking,’’ You explain walking over to Steve. 

 ‘’About what?’’ Robin asks, giving you an amused look. 

 ‘’Ya know, stuff.’’ You say realizing how much of an idiot you sounded like. As Dustin walked over to Eddie opening the grocery bag you found yourself standing next to Steve. ‘’Hey,’’ You say simply, your fingers intertwining behind your back.

He nods his head, ‘’Hey,’’ He says simply. You purse your lips unsure of what to say next watching Eddie and Dustin exchange words over one of the things Dustin got him to eat. ‘’I went to your house this morning to pick you up, your mom said you left already?’’ He asks you. 

 You turn your head to him shocked by what he had said, ‘’You went to my house?’’ You ask him and he nods, ‘’And talked to my mom?’’ He nods again. ‘’I have a car, you know?’’ You tell him. 

He shakes his head acknowledging the  fact, ‘’I know, I know.’’ He pauses. ‘’I just thought we could ride together.’’ He tells you. You nod your head accepting that he had wanted to actually pick you up first and talk with you. ‘’Your mom was really nice.’’ He mentions it to you. 

 You roll your eyes at him, ‘’Yeah she probably said something embarrassing about me didn’t she?’’ You ask resting your hand on your hip staring up at him.

 ‘’No,’’ He says a sort of mischievous smile on his face, ‘’She didn’t say a thing,’’ He says but you could tell he was lying out of his ass with the smile on his face. He takes off walking over toward everyone else who was sitting around Eddie who was completely submerged in the food he was eating. 

 ‘’Steve!’’ You yell at him jokingly wanting to know exactly what your mother had said. 

 Before you could say anything else to Steve, Dustin interrupted. ‘’Alright Eddie do you wanna hear good news or bad news first?’’ 

 ‘’Bad news, always bad news first.’’ He says taking his hand and scooping up another handful of honey comb cereal. 

 ‘’Well we tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they’re definitely looking for you. Also they’re pretty convinced you killed Chrissy.’’ Dustin tells him. 

  Max speaks up next, ‘’Like a 100% kind of convinced.’’ She tells him. 

 ‘’And the good news?’’ Eddie asks. 

 ‘’Your name hasn’t gone public yet,’’ Robin tells him. ‘’But if we found out about you, it’s only a matter of time before others do.’’ It was true, it wasn’t going to be that hard and all your calls all over town to find him probably didn’t help. ‘’And once that gets out, everyone and their shallow minded mother is gonna be gunning for you.’’ She admits to him. 

 ‘’Hunt the freak, right?’’ Eddie points out. 

 ‘’So before that happens we need to find Vecna, kill him and prove your innocence,’’ Dustin says as if it was no big deal. 

 It was only a few seconds later after Steve had explained to Eddie that El was a girl who normally helped us when things came up in Hawkins that the police sirens got closer. ‘’Get under the tarp!’’ You yell to Eddie pointing at it, ‘’Tarp!’’ You tell him. Eddie quickly pulls it over him sinking into the bottom of the boat pulling the tarp over him. 

  With everyone else you ran over to the windows looking outside, they completely ignored the gravel driveway you had anticipated them coming down zooming down the street to wherever else. It was only a few second later two more cars came down the same road, ‘’Why would there be so many cop cars now?’’ You ask. 

‘’Another murder.’’ Robin says. 

 ___________

‘’Woah, woah Nance. Nance!’’ You hear Steve call out pausing as you open the car door. ‘’Where you going?’’ He asks her. 

 She turns around to face the rest of you, ‘’There’s just something I wanna check out first.’’ She says vaguely. 

 ‘’Something you maybe wanna share with the rest of us?’’ Dustin asks. You all look at Nancy expectantly waiting for her to tell you exactly what she was heading off to do especially with whatever this thing was going around killing people. 

 ‘’I don’t wanna waste your time. It’s a real shot in the dark.’’ She says. 

 ‘’Yeah, okay. Are you out of your mind?’’ Steve asked, sounding bewildered she would even try and leave the group alone. ‘’Flying solo with this Vecna on the loose? No it’s too dangerous. You need- You need someone to-’’ He begins to say and you watch him expectantly becoming more hopeless the more he talked with Nancy. 

  Turning around to you Steve takes his keys throwing them to you, you fumble as they hit your hand confused as to what was happening. ‘’I’ll stick with Nance.’’ He says and it felt like a punch in the gut. ‘’Take the car, check out that shrink.’’ He says staring straight at you. 

 ‘’You want me-’’ You pause. ‘’To drive? Steve I don’t-’’ You start to say but Max cuts you off. 

 ‘’I can drive!’’ She says casually. 

 Steve had an immediate reaction, ‘’No, never again. Please anybody but you, no.’’ He says pointing at her. 

 Robin looks back at you and so does Dustin. Both of them noticed how flustered you were by the situation. Why would Steve want to stick with Nancy so willingly? ‘’This is ridiculous.’’ Robin says, grabbing the keys from your hands and walking over to Steve putting them back in his. ‘’We will stick together and you four stick together, Unless you think we can’t handle that?’’ Robin asks Steve. 

  You watch as Steve and Nancy glance at one another as if they were both slightly disappointed that they couldn’t do whatever it is she needed to do together. ‘’You just gonna stand there and gawk?’’ Dustin says to Steve as he watches them both walk away. 

 Steve groans turning back to Dustin, ‘’Shut up.’’ He says and you just wait at the passenger side door unsure of what to do next. ‘’Shut up and get in the car.’’ Steve says simply. 

 ‘’What was that?’’ You ask him as he sits down in the driver's seat. He looks over at you confused. 

 ‘’Nothing?’’ He says defensively. ‘’It was nothing-’’ He explains. 

 You don’t bother acknowledging him, you just turn your head to the road putting on your seatbelt. You knew you weren’t the only one thinking Steve was being weird around Nancy but you weren’t sure how much more you could stand to watch. 

 ____________

 Abandoned houses weren’t creepy. Abandoned houses weren’t creepy. That was what you kept repeating to yourself walking around the old Creel house. It was something about this house that just made you on edge, the story behind it was just eerie. 

  Everyone for the majority split up but you stuck with Robin not wanting to be alone in the house, ‘’This place is cobwebs galore.’’ You tell her ducking under another one, ‘’This house probably used to be so beautiful.’’ You say running your hand along a wooden piece of furniture, the dirt sticking to your hand, you quickly wipe it off on your jacket. 

 ‘’Yeah,’’ She says, turning her flashlight up toward the ceiling, taking in all the cobwebs above. For a moment you and Robin stay in one of the rooms upstairs, both of you inspecting different items trying to find anything that could help you. ‘’You okay?’’ Robin asks you shining her light at you. 

 You shrug your shoulders, ‘’Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?’’ You ask her. She gives you a knowing look, ‘’I’m fine really he can be with who ever-’’ You begin to tell her but the sound of breaking glass and a cry aloud made you both stop your conversation. You look to one another and then both head to the door walking in the hallway. 

 Steve and Nancy stood in the hallway upstairs, she had her hands pulling out cobwebs from Steve’s hair. ‘’Don’t go in there.’’ He tells you and Robin both. You nod still staring at Nancy picking the webs out. 

 ‘’If there's a spider in there you’re never gonna find it. Not till it lays eggs and the babies spill out.’’ Robin says so casually as she walks past them just a few feet behind her. 

 ‘’What’s wrong with you? Steve says not missing a beat. You walk next to Steve making eye contact with him before quickly breaking it. ‘’Robin, seriously.’’ Steve says. ‘’She’s got problems,’’ He says, referring to her. 

 Their voices get quieter but you can still hear them in the next room. You hear the conversation between him and Nancy as he assures her that he and Robin are just friends, and then she asks him about you and he says the same thing. ‘’We just hangout at work and I’ve known her for a while.’’ He says. 

  You could see how close they were from in the room you and Robin had just walked into. ‘’Y/N.’’ Robin says, calling out to you. You look at her humming in response, ‘’You’re staring,’’ She says her voice hushed. You glance back up at them and then back to her muttering an apology. 

 ‘’I think I am gonna head out-’’ You tell her. She looks up at you immediately. ‘’My mom- she’s gonna be worried if I’m not home.’’ You admit. It wasn’t completely a lie but it also wasn’t completely the truth. ‘’Plus I might swing by to give Eddie some food.’’ You admit to her and she nods. 

 ‘’What’s going on?’’ Steve says walking in the room. 

 You glance up at him, he had a worried expression on his face looking from you to Robin. ‘’I’m gonna go home.’’ You tell him. ‘’My mom, she'll be worried.’’ You tell him. ‘’And I was gonna bring Eddie dinner.’’ 

 ‘’Oh,’’ Steve says. ‘’Well- you shouldn’t- How are you gonna get home?’’ He asks. 

 ‘’Well my cars outside- I met you here remember?’’ You ask him. You had gone home last night to get your car then went and stayed at the Wheeler house all night helping keep watch of Max. ‘’It’s not that far of a drive.’’ You tell him walking toward the doorway, ‘’I’ll just see you guys tomorrow?’’ You ask and Robin and Nancy both nod. 

 When you turn to leave an arm catches your wrist gently. ‘’Be careful going home,’’ Steve tells you. ‘’Just go straight there, don’t make any stops.’’ He sounds serious. 

 ‘’Aye aye Captain,’’ You say to him. He gives you a half hearted smile but he still looked as if he was worried. 

   You did exactly what Steve said you went home and didn’t stop. You ate dinner with your mom and after she fell asleep tired from her shift at work you slid up the window in your room with a plate in hand as you speed walked to your car. You put the plate in the passenger seat, throwing your backpack which had a big blanket for Eddie in the back of the car. You were careful to not turn on your light when you pulled out of the driveway to your house scared the lights would wake your mom up. 

 It wasn’t a long drive to the boat house, when you pulled onto the gravel road you noticed an unfamiliar car parked outside. You parked off to the side near the trees not exactly next to the car but still close enough in case you needed to get out quickly.  Noticing there was nobody around, you warily got out of the car making your way to the boathouse whose door was wide open. ‘’Eddie?’’ You whisper out into the open. ‘’Eddie it’s Y/N.’’ 

 As you were about to step in you felt a hand clasp around your mouth preventing you from yelling, you thrashed against the body realizing they were soaking wet. ‘’Shh,’’ the voice says, trying to calm you down. ‘’Shhh.’’ You finally push yourself away from the body with all your strength turning around to see a bewildered Eddie, his eyes wide with panic. You were about to say something but he again put his hand over your mouth stepping closer to you, he shook his head at you taking his other hand and raising it telling you to be quiet. ‘’Not here,’’ He says just barely a whisper and you nod. He takes your hand and pulls you with him through the dark woods. 

_____________

  Out of all the things that had happened in the past few years there was a lot of scary shit. But seeing Y/N’s car parked at the boathouse with cops surrounding it was one of the scariest feelings for Steve. Steve listened closely, holding his breath practically the entire time that the cops made their statement, they had found a body. A body that could be Y/N’s. Steve got as close as he could to hear the statement, ‘’Patrick Mckinney.’’ The officer said. A wave of relief flooded knowing it wasn’t you. ‘’We found a vehicle belonging to Y/N Y/L/N. Right now the reason is unknown as to why she was here but we have not found her and police are actively searching for her as we speak.’’ He says. ‘’We are doing everything we can to find her and bring her home safely.’’ 

 ‘’We have also identified a person of interest. Eddie Munson.’’ He announces. ‘’Anyone with any information should please come forward.’’ 

   Steve couldn’t handle what they were saying anymore he walked away putting a hand over his eyes as he could feel the tears coming on. He should’ve checked on her last night, he should’ve drove by and seen if she was home when they left the creel house. He walked away crouching on the gravel road before him holding his hand in his head unsure of how he should feel. 

 ‘’Dustin?’’ A voice calls out through the walkie. ‘’Can you hear me? Wheeler?’’ Steve recognized the voice as Eddie. 

 Dustin fumbles with the walkie pulling it off his back pack. Steve stands up walking over to where Dustin was. ‘’Eddie holy shit!’’ Dustin says into the walkie. ‘’Are you okay?’’ Dustin asks him. 

 ‘’Nah, man. Pretty..pretty goddamn far from okay.’’ Eddie says, answering truthfully. 

 ‘’Where is he?’’ Robin asks. 

 ‘’Did he see Y/N last night?’’ Steve asks, looking down at Dustin. 

 ‘’Where are you?’’ Dustin asks him. 

 ‘’Skull rock, you know it?’’ Eddie asks him. 

 Steve takes the walkie out of Dustin's hands, ‘’Eddie is- is Y/N with you?’’ He asks. There's a moments pause from when Steve asks, ‘’Eddie is Y/N with you?’’ He asks again, speaking as clearly as he could. 

 ‘’Steve?’’ You say into the walkie. ‘’I’m here, I’m with Eddie, I'm fine.’’ You tell him. The words were like a relief to Steve he let out a deep breath the second he heard your voice through the walkie. ‘’Just hurry.’’ You say to him. 

 ‘’We’re coming just-just stay there.’’ Steve says his hands are already fumbling in his pocket for his keys. 

 It was just a little while later that Steve navigated the way to skull rock. ‘’In your face man. In your stupid cocky little face.’’ Steve says to Dustin slightly out of breath, he had practically jogged here wanting to see for himself that you were okay. ‘’Even with it staring you right in the face, you can’t admit it.’’ 

 The thud of the ground made Dustin and Steve turn around, ‘’I concur. You Dustin Henderson are a total butthead.’’ Eddie says. 

 ‘’Geez man, we thought you were a goner.’ Dustin says walking over to Eddie giving him a hug which Eddie reluctantly but eventually gives him back muttering he also thought he was a goner.

 ‘’Steve?’’ You call out. The blanket was wrapped around your shoulders, Eddie had insisted you take it after he heard your chattering teeth throughout the night. Steve turned around immediately, the relief of seeing you was proof enough but he walked over to you embracing you in a hug. It took you a moment to register what he was doing, but when you did you gave in hugging him back with an equal if not greater force. 

 ‘’We got the the boathouse and your car-’’ He began to say pulling away from you hug his hands still touching the sides of your arms, ‘’Your car was there and they found a body.’’ 

‘’I found Eddie after-’’ You pause glancing at Eddie ‘’I’ll just let him tell you.’’ You sigh completely exhausted, Eddie had explained it to you when you made it far enough away from the boathouse but you didn’t want to have them miss out on any details that weren’t important. 

 With Eddie's explanation and Dustin's connection with the compass and something about mordor you found yourself once again fleeing through the woods. Steve had stayed behind with you the entire time, ‘’So you and Eddie?’’ He asks you. 

 ‘’Me and Eddie what?’’ You ask him confused as to what he was insinuating. 

 He gestures up to Eddie with a nod, ‘’Are you two a thing now?’’ He asks. ‘’You just seem to spend a lot of time with him.’’ He points out his eyes looking anywhere but you. 

 You let out a sarcastic laugh, ‘’Me and Eddie?’’ You ask him. ‘’Never.’’ You point out. ‘’He just needs someone right now,’’ You point out to Steve. There was a log in front of you and Steve steps over first pausing as you take your step over. ‘’Nothing going on.’’ You tell him. ‘’What about you and Nancy?’’ You ask him the same question. 

  He shrugs his shoulders in response, ‘’Jonathans not here I am, I’m not really sure what’s going on.’’ You could tell he was being truthful with his response. 

 You wait a moment before asking the next question, ‘’Do you still have feelings for her?’’ You ask him. 

 ‘’It’s complicated.’’ He tells you. ‘’I don’t think I do.’’ You glance up at him muddled by his response. ‘’I’ve had this thing for another girl for a while and I don’t wanna mess that up anymore than I already have.’’ He tells you. 

 You didn’t know what was worse, him liking Nancy or him liking whoever the other girl was. ‘’Do I know her?’’ You ask him. 

 ‘’I think so,’’ He says, readjusting his backpack. ‘’She’s really cool, has a good sense of style, a decent sense of humor.’’ He begins lifting off attributes. 

 ‘’Sounds like a winner,’’ You say your voice comes out more harsh than intended. 

The daylight had surpassed and it was already dark again, the woods becoming more and more eerie as it got later in the night. ‘’Holy shit,’’ You say, stopping behind everyone else your flashlight illuminating off the water of lovers' lake. 

 ‘’You’ve gotta be shitting me,’’ Steve says aloud, 

 ‘’Lover’s Lake,’’ Robin points out. ‘’There’s a gate in Lover’s lake?’’ She asks. 

 ‘’The demogorgon always left an opening,’’ Nancy points out. ‘’Maybe Vecna is the same way.’’ She says. 

 ‘’Only one way to find out,’’ Steve says. 

 Five minutes later you, Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Eddie were paddling out along Lover’s lake to Dustin's displeasure. It was about halfway out when Robin noticed the compass going absolutely crazy. ‘’Dustin, your compass is going berserk out here.’’ You say talking into the walkie. 

  You were too busy looking at the compass to notice that Steve had begun to remove his clothes, ‘’What the hell do you think you’re doing?’’ You ask him as his eyes meet yours. 

 He says like it was the most obvious thing in the world, Someones gotta go down and check this out.’’ He says. ‘’Unless one of you three can stop being a Hawkins High Swim co-captain, and a certified lifeguard for three years.’’ He pauses taking off another sock. ‘’It’s gotta be me. No complaints, all right?’’ He says not really asking. 

 ‘’Like hell you are, we don’t know what’s down there!’’ You say to him. 

 ‘’Exactly why we need to find out.’’ He says standing up. He lifts his shirt over his head exposing his back and you couldn’t help but Gawk at him, and not only you but Nancy as you caught her looking as well. 

‘’No complaints here,’’ Eddie says, pulling out a bag. He stuffs a light in it handing it off to Steve, ‘’Goodluck.’’ 

 Just as Steve turns around bracing himself for the water, ‘’Steve?’’ You call out to him. 

‘’Be careful.’’ You say staring straight at him, the tone of your voice as serious as it could be. He just nods in response, turning back to the water. A moment later he had dived in, it was pitch dark across the lake you couldn’t see a thing. 

 ‘’Robin let me see your flashlight,’’ You tell her and she hands it to you, trading you for the compass. You move around the boat making it rock small complaints from everyone else. 

‘’What are you doing?’’ Nancy asks you. 

 You sigh completely unsure, there was no way the light would help you see down that far in the murky water but you wanted to make sure if Steve came up quickly you could help. It felt like forever waiting for him to come back up, you waited and waited until finally you saw the bubbles coming up from below. ‘’He’s coming!’’ You tell them trying to prepare yourself for him to break the surface. 

 You jumped when his hands grabbed the edge of the boat, almost pulling you forward into the water, Steve hung on the edge of the boat. ‘’It’s more of a snack sized gate than a mamma gate. But still, it’s pretty damn big.’’ He explains.  

 It was that moment that Steve’s head dunked underwater, everyone being rocked by the boat. ‘Steve get up here,’’ You tell him cautiously, scared to bring your voice even barely above a whisper. A split second later he was completely pulled under his body not coming back up. Everyone began screaming as the boat was rocking back and forth and you pushed yourself back closing your eyes. You squeezed them tightly unsure of what to do, you had to go get him, and you had to do it now. 

 ‘’Y/N,’’ Eddie says seeing you stand up, ‘’Y/N what do you think you're doing?’’ He asks, watching you unbutton your flannel exposing the worn down t-shirt below it. You wrap the flannel tightly around one arm before securing it tightly. 

 ‘’A grand gesture,’’ You say and before Eddie or anyone could protest you jump in. The cold water meets your skin and you can still hear them yelling from the surface. You can see Steve being pulled down just as he makes it to the red entrance way, his arms wailing around terrified. You push with your arms down further and further into the lake until you reach the bottom of it, the red glow illuminating your face. You had no idea where the hell this thing was going but you knew for certain Steve was on the other side of it alone and that terrified you more. 

 You take your hand pushing it through the red opening and like a vacuum you felt the rest of your body being jerked through, it wasn’t as gentle as you hoped and you shot up out of it landing on your shoulder groaning. 

You heard the screeching from the air which made you pull yourself together realizing where you were as you glanced up at the clouded sky. You could see Steve a few yards away his body flailing as he was trapped by his neck with one of the tentacle-like structures. ‘’Steve!’’ You yell out pushing yourself off the ground, you run toward him but stop just before as the bat-like creature slams its face into his side. You look around trying to find anything to use as a weapon, on the ground next to you lay a broken Oar but it was just long enough that you think you could use it. You run over to Steve careful trying not to slip on all of the vine-like things on the ground. 

 You swing the bat once and it hits a bat knocking it away from Steve, just for the other one to bite down on the other side. Steve screamed out in pain as the bats just kept swarming his body. You took the oar once again hitting the bat with it and just when you went to hit the other one another bat knocked it already. You turn to see Nancy next to you with a bat in her hand, more and more bats are coming surrounding the area. You kept hitting the bats so they detach from Steve and eventually they do. You didn’t even recognize Robin and Eddie had shown up as well, both of them with weapons of their own in hand. 

 ‘’Steve,’’ You whisper running over to him, throwing the oar down to the ground. You lean down on your knees noticing the fleshy wound along his abdomen. It wasn’t much longer that you heard more of the creatures screeching in the sky, they swooped down quicker than you had anticipated. Steve gorans pushes himself up and you reach back grabbing the only weapon you had, and you just start swinging, hitting a bat that had swooped down dangerously close. Everyone was fighting off the bats; they just kept coming out of nowhere. You knocked a bat to the ground slamming the oar into its face, blood splattering around the ground. The moment you stop you look over to see Steve pulling apart the creature, blood spilling out of his mouth as he spits out the taste. ‘’We need to get out of here, we need to find a place to hide!’’ You tell them and they all agree. 

 Steve was limping slightly clutching his side, you couldn’t imagine which hurt worse since both sides were gushing blood. You all ran as quickly as you could. You stayed behind Steve in case another attack was on it’s way. You found solace in the tree lines heading into the wooded area where you could probably find better coverage. 

 ‘’Under there!’’ Robin yells pointing to the large rock, it was an open area but from above the bats wouldn’t be able to see you. You glance behind you, noticing there were hundreds swarming the sky now, ‘’Come on! Come on!’’ She yells running. You move forward quickly sliding your body under Steve’s shoulder, he glances down at you doing so a small smile at the gesture was all he gave. You doing so helped quicken his pace just enough to make it under the rock. 

   Steve hissed from the pain in his side as he rested his back against the rock, ‘’Gosh Steve,’’ You say your hand touching his abdomen just above the wound. You unwrap your flannel from earlier around your arm, ‘’Sit up a bit please.’’ You tell him. You rewrap the flannel around your hand using it as a glove of some sort, ‘’We need to stop the bleeding.’’ You tell him your voice laced with concern, your hands pushing against his abdomen and Steve jumps his hand resting on your arm squeezing it tightly. 

 ‘’Nancy,’’ You call out to her needing more than just the thin flannel you had. ‘’Do you have anything we can use?’’ You ask, turning your head, everyone's attention was now on you and Steve. 

 Robin looked terrified and her mouth formed an O shape as she saw the wound on Steve’s abdomen. She walks over crouching down as she sees Steve’s open wound. ‘’So the good news is I’m pretty sure dizziness is not a symptom of rabies?’’ Robin points out the odd fact. ‘’Do you feel Woozie?’’ She asks and Steve squirms as you put more pressure on the wound. You notice Nancy pulling at her pants getting more fabric to secure the wound. 

 ‘’Yeahh,’’ Steve says letting out a rigid breath, ‘’I do.’’ He says. Nancy hands you the fabric and you tell Steve to stand if he can, he pushes himself up and Robin and Nancy come to his side helping to hold him up. You ask him if he’s ready and he agrees reluctantly, ‘’Just do it,’’ He says, holding his breath, he flinches when the fabric touches him. 

 ‘’I’m sorry,’’ You tell him. Trying to secure it. You finally get it tied and he breathes a sigh of relief, ‘’You okay?’’ You ask him.  ‘’He needs to rest for a minute,’’ You tell them both and they agree. 

    ‘’Yeah, yeah.’’ He says his breath is still rigid. You glance over to everyone else who had moved away from you and Steve looking out into the forest of the Upside down. ‘’Are you okay?’’ He asks and you look at him confused. ‘’You were here right after me, right after.’’ He says. The conversation behind you was going on but neither of you were engaged in it. 

 ‘’Yeah, yeah.’’ You repeat his word verbatim, making you both laugh slightly. He clutches his side as he laughs, ‘’Sorry,’’ you say to him. He stops laughing and looks at you just for a moment, both of you not saying anything, you smile softly feeling his eyes on you. ‘’We have to get you home, get you back to that girl.’’ You say trying to avert his mind something more positive.  

 ‘’That girl?’’ He asks you confused. 

 ‘’The girl you told me about,’’ You tell him looking down at his torso adjusting the wrap once again. ‘’The one you have a crush on?’’ You say it as more of a question. 

 For a moment he doesn’t say anything and you just fixate on the wrap, the sounds of bats screeching from overhead, ‘’The girl,’’ He says, making you look up. ‘’Is you, it’s you Y/N.’’ He says. 

 You stare at him completely shocked, it was you? How was it you? ‘’Me?’’ You ask him. ‘’I don’t understand.’’ You say puzzled. 

 He takes a deep breath, ‘’The girl I have a crush on is you,’’ He tells you. ‘’It’s been you for a while..’’ 

  ‘’But you and Nancy?’’ You ask him confused, your tone much lower, scared she would hear you. ‘’You guys have been- you seem like.’’ He tells you. 

 ‘’You and Eddie seemed so close, I was jealous and Nancy was giving attention. I thought it would get yours if I played into it a little,’’ He says and you nod understandingly. ‘’It was dumb. Immature I should've just told you. 

 ‘’Steve this entire time I’ve been talking to Eddie about you.’’ You emphasize ‘’I’ve been trying to get your attention for months.’’ You tell him. ‘’Eddie has had to hear all about it the past two days,’’ You admit, making him laugh once again. 

 ‘’Then when we make it out of here,’’ He pauses, ‘’We’ll go on a nice date? Whatever you want.’’ He tells you and you nod smiling at him. You push yourself forward planting a quick kiss on his cheek, if you were going to kiss Steve Harrington for the first time it was not going to be in the upside down while he was bleeding out it was going to be a real kiss on a date. ‘’Deal?’’ He asks as you pull away. 

 ‘’Deal,’’ You say to him. 

 You hear feet thump on the ground and it finally grabs both of your attention looking back, everyone smiling at the two of you, even Nancy. ‘’What did I tell you?’’ Eddie asks. ‘’Grand gesture.’’

_____

Thanks for reading! I am sorry if it felt like I skipped around a lot I started writing and got so far in and when I Read it back I was like omg I skipped around too much but I have a bad problem with doing request and never posting because I re-read and hate them too much. SOOO here we are I hope you liked it and didn't hate it haha! Again sorry for any mess ups!

Please send more S4 request! Also if you request and want it outside of the plot of season 4 PLEASE let me know I have such a hard time making scenarios in my head that don't follow the plot.

#steve harrington imagine #king steve #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x reader angst #steve harrington x reader fluff #robin buckley #eddie munson #stranger things spoilers #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #max mayfield #lucas sinclair

[wriothesleybear]

Beauty and the Beast: Chapter 1

~warnings: wriothesley x fem! reader, slow burn romance?, possible ooc for wrio and sigewinnie.

~a/n: credit to @kiwasaji for the idea. i hope this satiates what you were looking for🥰 I was just going to make headcanons or a small drabble but this turned out to be longer than I expected so I'll probably turn this into a series with multiple chapters. It may not go exactly like the Beauty and the Beast movie but it's similar to it with some changes. I hope you guys enjoy :)❤️

~word count: 2,674

~~~

While going for a walk in the woods, you got caught in a snow storm. You got lost and stumbled upon a castle. The Fortress of Meropide. You heard stories of the famous fortress. The stories talked about a handsome Duke who was cursed by a witch and was turned into a beast. You never believed these stories because they were only rumors. I mean, a man turning into a beast. It couldn't be possible.

Shivering, you knocked on the large wooden door a few times but no one answered. You figured it would be empty. You tried pushing open the door and it opened with ease. You really didn't want to trespass but you had no where else to go in the blizzard and you didn't want to freeze to death. You take a step inside.

It was hard to see anything in the room due to the little light from the door barely being able to reach the inside. Suddenly the door slammed shut, making you jump. You begin to panic as you're left in complete darkness. You try to remain calm as you feel around for any source of light. You feel a lamp shaped object and twist the knob, praying that it works. You sigh in relief as the lamp shines with a dim light.

You look at your surroundings and discover you're in a foyer. "Hello, is anyone here?" Your voice echos in the large room. Silence. You begin to shiver again, noticing that it wasn't any warmer in the empty castle compared to outside. You decide to look for a fireplace to warm up. You walk around the room, having no luck finding a fireplace. You come upon a door.

Maybe there's a fireplace in here, you thought.

You open the door and discover that it leads to another dark room. Using your lamp to light the way for you, you look around the room. It appeared to be a large living room. You light up with joy as you spotted a fireplace. Luckily, there was some wood near by, but no matches to light it up. You begin to look around. While doing so, you heard some skittering behind you. You turn around, curious and noticed a box of matches on the floor. You thought it was a bit odd but didn't think much of it. You were just happy to have something to light the fire.

Finally having a fire, you were able to warm up. As you sit in front of the fire enjoying the warmth, you hear a noise from somewhere behind you. You quickly turn around, a bit scared. The light from the fire lit up the whole room, but you didn't see anything out of the ordinary. You did however feel like you were being watched. You tried to ignore the feeling, thinking it was just your imagination.

You walk over to a bookcase, figuring you would keep yourself occupied while waiting out the storm. The books were very old classics, which was what you loved to read. You pick a book and sit down in front of the fire.

You read peacefully for a while, engrossed in your book until your stomach starts to rumble. You weren't sure if you would be able to find anything to eat in this old castle, but it wouldn't hurt to try. Taking the lamp, you begin to explore nearby rooms. A few of the rooms were empty. While exploring, you noticed how all the rooms you had been in looked untouched and clean from dust. Was someone taking care of this place? You wondered. Room after room, you still couldn't find the kitchen. "Man, how big is this place? I'll never find the kitchen." You exasperated, close to giving up hope. Suddenly, something taps on your lower back. You scream, turning around and backing away from whatever touched you. You look down and see a cute little girl with bunny ears. You stand there surprised, with your hands covering your mouth.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." She said in a sweet, worried voice.

"It's okay. I didn't think anyone lived here so it just shocked me to find someone else." You tell her, hoping to relieve her worries.

"My name is Sigewinnie and I help take care of this castle and its occupants." She smiles. Her adorable smile helps you relax.

"My name is y/n." You return her smile. "I apologize for letting myself in. I needed a place to stay during the blizzard. I tried knocking but no one answered."

"It's okay. The Duke said that you can stay until the storm passes. I overheard you talking about a kitchen. I can show you where it is."

"Yes, that would be great."

She leads you to the kitchen and lights up the lamps in the room, giving you the ability to see clearly. It was a large and spacious room with shiny counters and fancy looking cabinets. As you admire the furniture, she walks over to the fridge and opens it. You're surprised to find it full of delicious looking food.

"Would you like me to make you something? I know a good recipe for homemade soup. It'd be good to have during this storm." Sigewinnie offers. Your stomach growls, agreeing with the offer. You both laugh.

"That sounds good. How about I give you a hand."

You both work together to make the soup. You notice some of the ingredients she uses look a bit odd. She told you they're a special kind of vegetables she grows. You also ask her a few more questions about the occupants she mentioned earlier. She said there were other 'melusines" like her that help take care of the castle and its owner. When trying to get more information about the castle's owner, all Sigewinnie would say is that he seems scary but he's actually really nice.

The soup smells so good when it's finished. It tastes even better that you finished it in no time. For dessert, Sigewinnie handed you a drink with a flower on top of it.

"It's a sweet drink." She says as you scan the glass carefully. It looks edible. You notice her watching you carefully, hope evident in her eyes. You take a sip, the sweet flavor filling your taste buds.

"It's delicious!"

"Really?!" She asks excitedly.

"Yes, I love sweet drinks and I was craving something sweet after that yummy soup we made." She jumps with joy in her seat. It was adorable seeing her like that. It caused you to laugh.

"It makes me happy that you like it because He never wants to try my drinks."

"Who's He?"

"The Duke of the castle." You wanted to try and get more information about him but suddenly, another melusine walks into the kitchen. This one looks a bit different compared to Sigewinnie. They don't have human like features like her, but they're still adorable like her.

"Hello, I'm here to show you to your room. The Duke has prepared one for you." You follow the melusine down a hallway, stopping at a door. They open it and your jaw drops. It's a beautiful room, with red and gold designs. There is a large bed with a couch in front of it, a dresser, a bedside table on each side of the bed and a door that leads to a bathroom. It's beautiful. Your trance is broken when the melusine speaks up.

"We hope it's to your liking. There is one condition you must follow during your stay. You cannot roam around the castle on your own. If you need anything, please let one of us melusines know." You respect the rule, but you have a feeling there's more meaning behind it. You keep your questions to yourself as you don't want to ruin the opportunity given to you.

"I understand. Please send my thanks and gratitude to the Duke."

"Understood. Have a good night." The melusine leaves, closing the door behind them. You sit on the bed, surprised at how soft it feels. It feels just like a cloud. You get up and prepare for bed. All the experience in the snow storm and exploring the castle really drained your energy. So much so that you fell asleep once your head hit the pillow.

~~

With two glasses in hand, Sigewinnie walks up a staircase and down a long, darkened hallway. She stops in front of a large wooden door with a wolf symbol on it. She opens the heavy door and enters the dimly lit room. She closes the door behind her and walks towards the desk in the middle of the room. She jumps onto one of the chairs that is placed next to the only other occupant in the room. She sets down one of the glasses and pushes it towards the man. He notices her and sets down the papers he was reading. He sighs, realizing her plan. He reaches his hand out to grab for his cup of tea, stopping when he notices that he was reaching for the wrong drink. Sigewinnie watches closely with determination in her eyes. Her eyes shine as she sees the man reaching for her drink. He lightly smirks, enjoying teasing the girl. His hand changes direction and grabs his cup, pulling it to his lips to take a sip. Sigewinnie cries, disappointed. She grabs the cup and holds it out to the man, trying to get him to take it instead of his tea.

"You're so mean". She huffs. He doesn't react, continuing to read his paper. "At least y/n drinks my creations." This grabs the man's attention. He looks at Sigewinnie, silently waiting for her to continue.

"Yeah, she was happy to try the drinks I made. She said they were delicious. She's really nice. We made soup together. Also, Liath told me y/n sends her thanks and gratitude to you." Sigewinnie continues on, telling the man all about you. He listens closely, noticing how happily she talks about you. He just hopes Sigewinnie doesn't get attached to you. After all, you'll be gone once the snow storm clears.

~~~

You woke up the next morning, fully rested. You opened the curtains to the bedroom window and the blizzard was still going on strong. You slightly sighed but ultimately decided to get ready for the day. You planned to have breakfast and to ask Sigewinnie if she would give you a tour of the castle. You leave your room and do your best to remember the directions to the kitchen, but you end up becoming lost. It's not your fault the hallways look exactly the same. Eventually, you come across a staircase heading upstairs. You remember the kitchen being downstairs so you know this isn't the right way. You remember what the melusine told you about not exploring on your own, but your curiosity was getting the better of you. You put one foot on the first step of the staircase until you're stopped by the same melusine from yesterday.

"You can't go up there. Remember the Duke's condition for letting you stay here."

You step down from the staircase. "My apologies. I was trying to find the kitchen but got lost."

"I'll take you to the dining room. Sigewinnie just finished making breakfast. Next time, wait for me in your room." You nod your head and follow.

"I forgot to introduce myself yesterday. My name is Liath." The melusine says as you walk.

"My name is y/n."

"Yes, Sigewinnie told me. She's told me a lot about you and how nice you are to her. She's been waiting for you to wake up so she can have you try more of her speciality drinks." You giggle.

You arrive to the dining room. It's beautiful just like the rest of the castle. There is a long dining table with multiple red and gold cushioned seats and a red table cloth. Three large chandeliers hang from the ceiling, lighting up the room, reflecting off of the beautiful furniture. Sigewinnie is sitting in one of the chairs. Her eyes light up and she smiles wide as she sees you.

"y/n! I have your plate set up over here next to me." She says as she pets the seat next to her.

"Good morning Sigewinnie. I hope you weren't waiting long." You say as you take a seat.

"It's okay. Your food is still warm. For breakfast, I made an omelette with tomatoes with a bowl of fruit on the side. I also made a new special drink for you. It should give you energy to get you through the day." Sigewinnie says excitedly.

You can't get over how adorable she is. It makes you happy seeing how excited she gets. "Thank you Sigewinnie. It all looks delicious. I can't wait to eat it."

You two chat about random things while you eat. While Sigewinnie is passionately talking about the new stickers she made, you notice that the Duke of the castle never shows up for breakfast. You inquire Sigewinnie about it.

"The Duke? He doesn't eat in the dining room. He always eats in his office." She says.

"Is he always in his office?"

"Yeah. He usually stays in there the most compared to the rest of the castle. He rarely leaves it."

You would think he'd at least want to greet his guest. "Can I meet him?"

Sigewinnie takes a bit to answer, thinking about what she should say. "Hm. He likes to be alone really. He has us melusine greet and take care of his guests."

"Does he get guests often?"

"No, not really. You're our first guest we've had in a long time."

You're about to ask more but Sigewinnie changes the subject by offering to give you a tour of the castle. You accept her offer, wanting to explore more of the castle. You hold off on more questions about the Duke, saving them for later.

~~~

Sigewinnie showed you around the first floor first, most of it you already explored yourself. Next she showed you the second level which has the bedroom you slept in. Most of the rooms weren't that interesting to you until you came across the castle's library. It was a massive room with large bookcases that reached the high ceilings and covered every wall. Multiple books covered every shelf. You gaze in amazement, admiring everything.

"Hehe. I see you like the library." Sigewinnie giggles.

"Was my amazement that obvious?" You laugh. "I love books. I own my own bookstore in town, but the size is nothing compared to this. It's like my dream come true."

"The Duke also likes this room. He comes here in his free time when he isn't working to relax, but that's rarely."

"Would it be okay if I spent time in here, reading some books?"

"Yes! This is one of the places you can explore." You remember the staircase from earlier where Liath stopped you.

"Sigewinnie, where does that staircase on the second floor lead to?"

"Oh that one. That leads to the third floor where the Duke's personal quarters are. You're not allowed to go up there though."

"Is there a reason why?"

"Hm. The Duke likes his personal space to be respected and prefers to be alone." You contemplate what she said. While in thought, you don't notice Sigwinnie choosing a book off of the shelf. She walks over to you and hands you a book, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"Can you read this to me please?" She asks with puppy dog eyes. You giggle and say yes. You two take a seat on one of the couches in the room. You open the book and begin reading. Sigewinnie sits close to you so she can look at the pictures in the book while you read to her. You smile gently at her.

All the while, you don't notice the pair of eyes watching you from the darkness...

~~~

Part 2 coming soon

#wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley headcanons #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons

[zh-lele]

TOO FAST (m)

▪︎Pairing: Mark Lee x female reader

▪︎Genres: angst, romance, street racing au, friends with benefits trope

▪︎Warnings: graphic descriptions and mentions of death, blood, violence, drug use, and depression; profanity; sexual and suggestive content. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Contains spoilers of previous parts of the series.

▪︎Word count: 12.6k words

playlist | Pictures taken by Taeyong | Drifting series

Hi everyone! New installment of my Drifting series is up :) This is Mark's part and happens right after Haechan's story, so it's filled with spoilers (if you haven't read that one yet.) I don't really think you need to read Haechan's part to understand what happens around here, but if you want, please go check 'We ridin'' that's also liked in my masterlist. Also, this fic is pretty graphic so please read warnings and don´t proceed if you feel uncomfy with any of the themes treated here. Without much more to say, I hope you enjoy this story!

0. That's a pretty big trunk on my Lincoln Town Car, ain't it?

No matter how much weight he pulls off of his car, Mark can't get to drive freely around anymore. The backseats are gone, and the truck is empty before he starts the race. And you are waiting for him at the end of the road when he makes it first to the finish line, a big smile plastered on your face while looking at him. Everybody quickly starts cheering for him and throwing money to his face. And he tries hard. He tries so hard to enjoy it and be happy behind the steering wheel like he used to do, but he can't find to be able to.

Don't they see it too?

The car's trunk filled with bodies like a Hearse. The steering wheel bleeding, painting Mark's shaky hands in red. His swollen eyes wet with tears. All those scattered pieces on the pavement… And he can never get rid of the weight because he is the one carrying all that heaviness that won't let him breathe, no matter how empty he wants to leave the car.

He rubs his face up and down in frustration, mixing the blood and the tears until he turns, looking back at the destroyed vehicle. Hanging off the open trunk it's his head, open and misshapen, covered in blood, exactly as Mark had last seen him. It feels like a nightmare. He prays and begs to God for it to be a nightmare, please let it be a nightmare.

Your smile dissipates as soon as you lock eyes with him. Mark blinks once to let the tears roll down his cheeks and wet your hands that cup his face. When he realizes it wasn't a nightmare but a distorted memory of reality, the uncontrollably sobs come. So you hold him in your arms in the middle of messy bed sheets, trying to deal with the melancholy of another sleepless night taking care of your hurt best friend.

Mark's memories haunt him. Ever since the accident happened, you're sure he hasn't got a full night of sleep, and you hardly remember the last time you did. If he's not racing or partying until the sun comes out early in the morning, he's constantly trying to fall asleep and repeatedly being awakened by these nightmares, these horrible memories being manifested in his dreams, and getting scared by only closing his eyes in the dark.

The yellow light on the old nightstand illuminates very dimly the small hotel room where Mark has been living for the last time, and where you have found yourself returning more often than usual. Everything is messy and dirty. Mark's clothes sit piled up in a mountain on a chair in the corner of the room, and the tabletop cannot be seen due to the number of boxes and empty fast food packages left behind, not being cleaned for months now. To your left, the nightstand is littered with boxes of twenty Marlboro cigarettes, empty as well; broken lighters, and a dirty glass pipe with traces of a substance you haven't quite figured out yet and are afraid to do so.

Your best friend won't talk much to you despite having you coming back to his bed every night, but you don't need that to believe he's depressed.

You remember how it started. How you got yourself into the same hole.

—

Inside the small apartment the air felt thick and humid. The dim colored lights coming from the speaker did a poor job of outlining a tall silhouette in front of you. Your body was sweaty, your feet ached from standing for so many hours, and your heart beat faster than normal. Maybe it was tiredness. Maybe it was because of the sound vibrations of fast electronic music resonating with the movement of your heart muscle. Or maybe it was because of the joint that Yuta left between your fingers after exhaling all the smoke in your face, and you didn't hesitate to repeat his actions.

You couldn't wait to leave. You also couldn't allow yourself to touch any kind of surface because you knew that as soon as you leaned against a wall or an armchair, you wouldn't be able to get up again. It might not have been the smartest decision at the time to grab the glass of vodka Yuta was holding in his hands and finish it in one gulp, but you would have done anything to make the time go by faster.

And it worked, actually. It's hard to even remember the kind of music that started playing after that moment. What you remember exactly, however, something you can't erase from your memories of that night is what Mark looked like.

The color in his electric blue hair had already begun to fade, and his bangs clung to his forehead from all the humidity. Even with his unkempt appearance and the sleeves of his t-shirt rolled up to his shoulders, revealing toned arms that glistened under a fine sheen of sweat. None of it took away from his undeniable appeal. None of that mess was meant to make you walk away from him and forget how he felt that night. Like being drunk on Mark. As if all your senses were reduced to perceiving him, and only him. When did he even appear on your side?

"You're all wet."

"It's from all the dancing," Mark said, moving his face away from yours, just enough to keep supporting your waist with one hand, and wipe the sweat that had transferred from his cheek to yours with the other.

His closeness allowed you to perceive the smell of alcohol and cigarettes that emanated from his body. Firm muscles under his clothes that you couldn't have failed to notice all night, couldn't help but feel at that moment under your touch. An innocent enough tact, with intentions to keep dancing to whatever was playing. He couldn't know how much you liked him. You were best friends for fuck's sake. And no matter how many times you imagined it, there would never be another reality where you could be more than best friends. Furthermore, you were both too intoxicated to cross the line and then be able to return to your comfort zone. You knew you wouldn't be able to come back once you allowed yourself to get to know Mark in any other way.

"You know what's missing tonight?"

Mark had won the race that night. Five grand that were going straight to his wallet and his pride. That had Yuta celebrating and patting at Mark's back when he made it out of the car with a smile on his face to wrap him in a tight hug. A victory that would give Mark a moment of reassurance, that would distract him only for a second from all the horrible things that were actually going on in his life.

Despite all fears of ending up alone and punished by all his friends, life showed Mark everyday that he was wrong. Yuta chose to keep in contact with him even after the accident and after Johnny got mad at Mark. You were still around him too. And he was still a successful street racer that made thousands per night and allowed himself to have fun with a bunch of pretty girls. So yeah, you would've never guessed the words that came out of Mark Lee's mouth after that. You would've never imagined that what that night was missing was–

"A kiss from you," he answered himself, letting out a heavy breath and leaning dead-weight on you. "Just one kiss?"

That simple line was all it took to take your breath away. He was that powerful, and you kind of hated yourself for allowing him. You thanked in silence for the lack of lights in the living room, because your temperature rising and getting your face all red would've given you away.

"I don't know." You were honest with him. It was kind of ironic inside of your head, how much you wanted him yet you couldn't decide if you wanted to act on that desire. There were pros and cons.

On one hand, you would've done anything for Mark to feel better, to let him out of that dark void you saw him getting in, deeper every day. Anything for him. On the other hand, you knew how the story goes, from your friends and because you saw it in enough movies; casualty never works when there's feelings involved. You didn't have to experience it to know it wouldn't mean just a drunken kiss to you, just a little fun. It was gonna end up hurting, dragging you in like a cult, a bad religion.

It felt like years, the time you were thinking about what to say to him. "I really don't know."

"C'mon," he was persistent, getting his head off the crook of your neck and staring right into your eyes, then dropped the sight to your lips. And he left it there while he kept mumbling. "One lil' kiss."

How many things could ruin a silly, drunken kiss between friends at a party?

Your eyes met Yuta for a brief moment, before you saw him raise his eyebrows at you, an expression that said 'Are you really doing this?' on his face, and then saw him leave the room.

The thing is, you had liked Yuta since the very first moment you saw him and had been fooling around ever since. He's a true gentleman. He's fun to be around but centered enough to give you all the calmness you might need at the end of a stressful day. He's good enough to give you some of the best fucks of your life as well. He has a good job, no bad habits, and he gives you enough space. Anyone could say Yuta is the perfect candidate. If Mark wouldn't even look at you but happened that Yuta proposed to you, you would probably agree to be his girlfriend in a second.

You wanted to tell Mark no. You truly wanted to be faithful to whatever you had with Yuta. But you had loved Mark since forever. And that was different.

Now you believe you would've never had to accept that kiss from Mark Lee that night because, spoiler: after one kiss, you weren't able to stop.

So it happened one, two, three, four, five, countless times until you finally found the solution to Mark's sleeping situation. Sometimes it required a lot of alcohol, sometimes it required him to have something to smoke. But what never changed was that it had to start with a kiss and follow with a lot of your attention. It always ended with you and him, skin to skin to his bed sheets. He gets a night's full sleep, and you usually get a headache from all the overthinking.

—

When you feel that his breathing has become heavy again and his grip around your torso loosens, you confirm that Mark has gone back to sleep. The clock on the wall above the window reads 05:02 in the morning, and if Mark doesn't have another nightmare in the next hour, he may be able to sleep until the sun comes up.

Carefully and almost moving in slow motion, you slip from his grasp to get up from the bed. Your friend has been feeling exhausted for months now, and no matter how many hours he sleeps, he never manages to recover. That's what he tells you all the time: that he's exhausted from being exhausted, from wanting to rest and not being able to.  So when you finally get him to drift off to sleep, the last thing you want is to wake him up.

You grab your pillow and place it filling the space that your body occupied between his arms, so he doesn't feel alone. You're not going anywhere but to sit on the dirty old couch in the next room. Mark's room and the space functioning as the entrance to the motel room are only separated by a thin wall of wood and plaster, and a curtain. If he happens to wake up again in the next few hours, you will be able to listen to him without any problem and return to him immediately.

When you turn on the yellow light in the gloomy bathroom—which door is broken so you won't even bother trying to close it—, the scene at the entrance lights up and you spot the figure laying on the couch. You wait for the glass to fill with water to turn off the tap in the sink and turn off the light, plunging the room into darkness again. The water runs hot and is of little help in quenching your thirst, but that's all you have for now until the convenience store near the motel opens.

Despite the darkness, you can see a large pair of eyes watching your every move carefully. He must have woken up because of Mark's nightmare, just like you. Coincidentally, in the small couch there is a space where you know you fit perfectly, so you take it and lie down next to him. The sides of your bodies rub against each other because it's a small couch afterall, and even when you can start to feel the heat of the morning you would like to get closer, snuggle into him, to wrap yourself in his arms and sleep together forever. But you're not going to do anything because Mark is only a curtain away. Also, because you were pretty sure he didn't want you anymore, not after you practically stopped seeing him the moment you started fucking Mark.

"Have you talked to Johnny?"

You turn your head to set your eyes on Yuta, lying on the couch still with all his clothes on, one arm acting as a pillow under his head. His long lashes brush his cheeks every time he blinks, and his chest rises and falls in a calm, controlled breath. Just looking at him gives you all the peace you are missing, making you sleepy. And you want to sleep, oh how you want to sleep for endless hours.

He shakes his head no.

"I feel like… I don't know, Mark really needs him right now."

There is a long silence in which you roll onto your side to keep looking at him. His eyes, now closed, make you think he has fallen asleep until he finally opens his mouth to speak.

"Johnny doesn't want to know anything about Mark." Yuta turns his head to look at you this time. His gaze is soft but holds all the truths you don't like to think of, so you can't do much more than moving your head down with a frown in your brows, and keep listening to him. "What he did to Haechan was stupid, put all of us in danger."

Memories of that night are fresh in your brain for two reasons. The first one, is that you interacted with Yuta for the first time that night, and things just escalated between the two of you from there. The second reason has to do with the fact that, all that happened back then, was Mark's breaking point.

1. You hit them stones and you broke your home

At the center of the closed road, the pavement was already painted with traces of burnt tires forming circular patterns. As the candy-colored cars drifted and slided and had all the people filming and celebrating around them, you really couldn't think of a worse way to waste your tires. It's a passion they seem to have, that you yet have to get to understand. 

You observed Mark work frantically on his car, making you feel like there wasn't enough time. All his movements were too rushed, and his eyes moved around the crowd with a paranoid look. The rest of the team was counting the money, looking for someone to flag, taking the seats out of the car to make it as light as possible, moving the people from the middle of the street. You could already hear some sirens far in the distance, getting closer and closer.

"Mark, hurry up!"

Getting off an orange car with the windows all black, a voice rushed Mark to start the race. He had that spine-chilling look despite his totally relaxed walk, looking like he owned the streets. He was the protagonist of a bunch of stories Mark had told you about his friends. And you knew Mark admired and respected Johnny a lot. But Yuta... Yuta has always been something else to Mark. Something like his weakness, and it showed in the way he talked about him and behaved around him. "I can show you some pics, but you can't like him more than me," was how he always ended conversations about him.

You really tried to listen to your friend. You really tried not to get interested in the handsome guy giving him the last directions before the first race of the night. But you had to know him personally, had to get close to him. You wished it would have been under different circumstances, though.

A few minutes later, everything was ready for the race to start. Mark had to drive a few miles straight down the road, take an impromptu hairpin turn, and be back in front of your eyes safe and sound.

After the accident he got into with his friend Taeyong, everyone thought Mark would be too scared to drive again, at least for a while. But it was the complete opposite; he got  careless and more reckless. Mark was sad and mad, and he used the races as a coping mechanism, among other things.

You, however, were worried and scared for him.

"I don't know why I agreed to come with you," you spoke with your arms crossed as you saw Mark walking towards you. He was wearing a subtle smile, and you could see how his face got rid of all that paranoia as soon as he found your eyes.

He wrapped you in a hug that forced you to uncross your arms to join them behind his head, reciprocating the gesture. "Thank you for coming," Mark told you so only you could hear him, and tightened the grip of his arms around your torso. "But you don't have to stay if you don't like it. I can ask one of the guys to get you home."

You took a look around separating yourself from him, and thought about his offer for a second. Johnny seemed busy dealing with all the bets for that night's race, so you doubted he could take you home. Jaehyun was racing too, so neither him or Mark were gonna drive you. Johnny's sister didn't own a car, so she wasn't an option. The only one who seemed like he wasn't occupied was Yuta, who was looking at the two of you with an unreadable expression, sitting on top of his car hood, probably just waiting for Mark to stop delaying the race.

You kinda, definitely wanted Yuta to take you home, to ride together and maybe chat a little on the way. To finally get to know him—and maybe exchange a kiss or two before you would come out of his car and walk to your door.

But that wasn't happening that night.

"No fucking way."

The crowd went silent. The only sound traveling through the thick summer atmosphere was the sound of the engines. No one needed him to get out of the bright yellow car to know who he was. Nonetheless, he got the audacity to do it.

"Didn't I fucking tell you," Johnny's voice was filled with rage, speaking directly to him, "that I don't want to see you around ever again?"

"I'm gonna fucking kill him." You heard Mark whisper in front of you.

"You're not doing shit." You grabbed Mark's jaw trying to get him to look at you, but his eyes were locked on Haechan. His hands left your waist to become fists at his sides, ready to attack if you weren't holding him back and speaking in his ear, trying to maintain your composure. "If you do anything to him, we're not gonna see the end of it."

But the truth was you wanted to beat him to pieces probably as much as Mark wanted to.

"Just one race!" Haechan got off his car  speaking to Johnny with open arms, palms facing the night sky. "For the old times?"

"But…" Mark rested his eyes on you again, and you could almost see yourself reflected in the accumulation of tears that threatened to fall at any moment. He spoke only for you, "Taeyong is dead because of him."

People went crazy after hearing Haechan ask for a race. Three months had passed since the accident and, since then, neither Haechan nor the Lees had dared to roam the same streets as the Suhs and his friends. Of course, people like watching other people fight, they enjoy the gossip and the problems, so it didn't take long for the crowd to start betting on Haechan as the winner of that night. Johnny had no choice but to get his team to race against the Lees, to remind them again that he didn't want them around, and that it was just a one time thing.

"Listen," Johnny held Mark's face in his hands and spoke directly to his eyes, "you're gonna race and you're gonna make it to the finish line intact. I don't give a fuck about who's winning. I just want you to finish, so he can get the fuck out of here before I lose my mind and rip his face off."

Mark nodded quickly a few times. It was clear he was nervous—from the way he grabbed and squeezed the steering wheel with his hands, and settled back and forth in the seat, impatient for the race to end when it hadn't even started.

"Don't you–" a bit of embarrassment creeped into his voice and cut him half way into the sentence, making him gulp dry before proceeding. "Don't you have something for me? I'm just feeling a little low," he finished asking, his narrowed eyes barely daring to look at his older brother.

Johnny let out a heavy sigh and moved his head to look above Mark's car, into the racing scene, and pondered on it for a moment. Honestly, he never thought he could be the best leader or the best older brother, but he managed to convince himself he was doing pretty fine, until the Donghyuck thing happened. Not that Donghyuck thing, the one that had to do with his sister and later with Taeyong. But the Donghyuck thing that made the big family they all were before break apart, and split into two rival groups. Something happened in that moment that Johnny felt made him fall apart; he lost all that confidence he once had. It only got worse when Donghyuck got with his sister, though, and he took Taeyong with him too, and now he felt like he was losing Mark as well.

Johnny reached into the front pocket of his jeans and held the small bag there for a few seconds, while debating whose fault it was, and thinking about how he could stop ruining his family. Back then, he had no clear answer. He felt like Mark was fucked up enough already. And because he loves him unconditionally, he just did what he thought was best for Mark at the time.

He ended up taking the small bag from his front pocket and tossing it to Mark, who quickly grabbed it with both hands and didn't even thank Johnny before he was closing his tinted windows on his friend's face.

Johnny thought that even if it was the wrong thing to do, he himself would help Mark sober up later, because he couldn't dare lose any more brothers.

You watched the entire exchange from afar.  From Mark positioning himself in line with Jaehyun, Haechan and another boy's cars at his sides, until Johnny and Yuta joined you with the same worried look that your eyes wore.

There was a constricting sensation in your chest, a pressure watching that scene unfold that made your voice tremble. "I have a bad feeling about this." 

You know what they say, that there are friends with whom you live certain things, and friends with whom you are part of other things. Haechan, Mark and you were all good friends once, way back in high school, but after they parted ways you decided not to get involved in their illegal activities. You barely knew this side of Mark's life, most of it since he loved his friends so much and always told you everything about them. He tried to integrate you as much as possible when situations called for it: birthdays, casual meetings at Johnny's garage, and parties. But all that pretty far from the street racing scene, that being the first time he actually invited you to go watch him race after years.

"Don't worry," Johnny said to you at the same time his sister was positioning herself at the middle of the starting line, ready to give them the direction. "They know what they have to do very well.

And as soon as she lowered her arms, the cars sped off, leaving a huge cloud of smoke in front of you that obstructed your view for a few seconds. 

"They will be driving in a straight line for about a kilometer," he continued. "Then they will reach a crossroads and must take the path to the right, we will lose sight of them at that moment."

"But if they do everything right and don't cause any trouble, we'll see them come out of that other corner." Yuta pointed at a corner a few blocks from you with a blinking yellow traffic light while explaining to you. "And someone will make it right here first. The winner."

You assumed that you managed to make him feel your intense gaze on him, and that made his eyes meet yours. His arms crossed while still leaning on the hood of his car. He noticed your nervousness.

"Relax," his voice was soft while speaking to you. A smile adorned his face when he invited you to sit with him, right beside his body on top of the orange hood. "Let's root for our team."

You nodded with your head at him and chose to remain silent. While you waited to see your friend return, you reached in the back pocket of your pants for the small box and the lighter, and lit a cigarette. It was the best thing you could think of to pass the time.

"You're a smokestack."

Your eyes widened hearing that. You didn't take it as an insult, since when you turned around and saw Yuta's face you only found a playful smile. But you still decided to take a long drag on the cigarette, blow out all the smoke, and then ask him in an offended tone.

"Excuse me?"

"You smoke too much," he said nonchalantly, jumping off the car and standing right in front of you.

His eyes traveled from your legs hanging off his hood, to your hand holding the cigarette, to your chest and lastly your face in a matter of milliseconds. A quick check out that awakened a whole new rush of adrenaline and nervousness to your body. A stare that only sent shivers down your spine, so you tried to play it cool and straighten your back, wanting to reach the level of his face.

"And how would you know?"

You made an effort not to let the conversation die. Ever since Mark told you about them and showed you photos of his friends, you had wanted to meet Yuta. Walking across him at Johnny's house or at random parties had never been enough. Firstly, because Yuta was rarely alone. And secondly, because when he was alone you would never have thought of being the first to approach him and talk to him.

Because you weren't expecting it from Yuta—the only friend of Mark that was quiet and mysterious enough that you had never struck up a conversation with—it took you a couple of seconds to process the words that came out of his mouth.

"I've been watching you." Yuta took your hand that was holding the cigarette and held it very gently in between his. Enough to notice how yours trembled.

Yuta definitely didn't have to do that to notice how anxious you were. But then you would understand how powerful his energy is and how physical contact becomes completely necessary and inevitable when he is around. That you didn't even need to say a word for him to notice you were attracted to him—you were painfully obvious around Yuta. It became ridiculous the way you lost yourself watching him talk and just mind his business. Yuta loved every second of it.

He would finally return all that attention to you later.

"You may fancy me." He took the cigarette off your hand and took a puff. "But you really, really love Mark."

You sighed deeply and looked down as you felt the heat rise and tint your cheeks. You didn't dare look at him when you spoke again. "I'm seriously that obvious?"

Yuta muttered positively and you could hear him smiling. That attractive teasing smile he always wore but paired with the softest looking eyes, that you knew could mean no harm.

"The problem is… I like Mark."

You couldn't help but laugh when you heard him, since you definitely weren't expecting that outcome. He only smiled while seeing you laugh.

"But he won't pay enough attention to me," he continued with a shrug. "So I thought, maybe you wanna do something with me after this?"

"So, I'm the second choice," you established, crossing your arms and putting on a straight face.

Yuta shook his head, still wearing his little attractive smile. "No, I was just joking," he reassured you. "I think you're interesting, and you're hot, so I wanna know you."

The cigarette came back to your hands right before Yuta was blowing all the smoke he had inhaled on your face. He was being pretty clear, you had no doubt at that point.

So you filled yourself up with a little courage, smiled big, took a puff of that nicotine and said, "Alright, we're going to mine."

"Sounds lovely."

Is the unexpected screeching of tires locking up what deafens your ears, bringing you and Yuta out of your little bubble to find another cloud of smoke blocking your view. Only seconds pass after the smoke clears into the air, and Mark's car comes to rest in line with Haechan's, giving your friend second place in the race.

It all happened way too quickly. One moment Mark was getting out of his car, violently closing its door and getting every person out of his way. The next moment he was above Haechan's body on the street, beating the life out of him.

Mark seemed uncontrollable, out of his mind. It took not only Johnny and Yuta to separate him from Haechan's bleeding face, but Jaehyun had to get out of his car and intervene as well. It was him trying to restrain Haechan's friends from coming and beating Mark, while Johnny's sister cried and screamed besides her lover, who wore that typical wicked, cynical smile on his bloody-dripping mouth. It was absolute chaos.

"I'm going to kill you! I swear to God, you won't mess with any of my friends ever again because I'll fucking kill you!"

After a lot of struggling and missed punches (that almost ended in yours and the boys' faces) coming from an extremely euphoric Mark, they managed to lock him in the back seat of Yuta's car. Johnny ordered Yuta to take him away, and that he didn't want to see his face in the neighborhood until the situation calmed down. It was a little cruel, the way he kicked Mark out of the house they shared, but you understood. Mark was still too hurt and resentful of Taeyong's death, but Johnny knew that trying to get revenge on the Lees would only start an endless war. Or maybe cause an ending that would badly hurt them again, and Johnny was tired of losing brothers.

A tall boy with a thin face and raven hair pointed to Mark, and that same index finger he rested on the skin of his neck moved across, from right to left. You're dead, but Mark wouldn't listen to it, still sitting in the back seat of the car.

"Jeno, let's leave this shitty place," Haechan said once he was back on his feet, blood spitting, staining his shirt and even the ground.

Haechan and his friends (including Johnny's sister) left with a promise to come back for them.

Johnny was on his right to get extremely mad at Mark. Because that was the exact reason he didn't do anything to Haechan in the first place, that one night he had him at gunpoint in the rain. He could've ended him right there, but he knew what would've come. And that was the difference between the Lees and the Suhs: Johnny cared for his people—because yes, Haechan was his people once, just as Taeyong was when he was alive. He didn't want anyone to get even more hurt.

So now they have to deal with the fear of the Lees coming for them, because they know the gang has become weak. Johnny doesn't have his sister anymore, he doesn't have Taeyong, he doesn't have Mark, and Yuta is barely there because he spends most of the time with you or Mark. And that guilt is eating your best friend alive.

It was dawn by the time you and Yuta tossed an exhausted Mark into the motel bed where he would spend the next few months. While he passed out as soon as he touched the mattress, you came down from the adrenaline rush in the form of shaking and crying.

That same night you brought Mark to the motel, after you put him to sleep, Yuta and you drank and smoked until you calmed down and then made out until any of you had energy to go on. You liked him and wanted everything with him. But Yuta was a very patient and understanding person. He made that clear from the very first moment you met properly.

You may fancy me, but you love Mark.

And yes, maybe fucking around with Yuta was fun from time to time, until that guilt started eating you alive.

Now you look at Yuta, laying on the motel couch centimeters from you, yet he feels like he's miles away. You think you miss him, his security and the sense of stability you had when you were with him. These days he comes to check on Mark, make sure you're both not starving, maybe share a beer or a cigarette with you, and he leaves. He still does all that even after you dropped him to fuck your best friend, that is one of his best friends too.

But when Yuta leaves you're back to your miserable hole, praying that Mark won't die from an overdose tonight, or that won't leave and come back hours later with some other girl, kicking you out so he can fuck because he's suddenly tired of the routine, then calling you at ungodly hours because he can't sleep without you.

The japanese boy calls your name. A fine film of sweat covers his smooth skin and is visible in the dim light of dawn, which filters through the hideous lace curtains. His eyes tell you that he's about to reveal that truth that you don't want to hear, but he's going to be brutally honest anyway.

"You need to get out of here."

2. I'm talking fear, fear of missing out on you and me/I don't think I could find a way to make it on this earth

Mark had always been very careful. The most careful of all, in fact—not just when it came to racing, but in every aspect of his life.  When he drove, when he served customers in Johnny's garage, when he would go out with the boys and have to take care of a drunk Taeyong, he was the most careful. You know he was always very careful in the way he treated girls too, because Mark did everything with love.

It isn't fair what happened to him. It made him start doing things with fear. Fear of missing out on things, fear of losing, fear of hurting people, fear of God. You can taste the fear in him, because lately everytime you connect your lips it feels like he's kissing you for the last time ever.

He holds your face and steals a long, soft kiss from your lips. Eyes squeezed shut while he deepens it and gets his tongue to explore inside your mouth. None of it is rushed nor violent, in contrast with how he usually ends up fucking you. And you like this side of Mark, the one that kinda feels like he's doing it to you with love instead of fear, but you know you can't get too attached to it.

Or at least more attached than you already are.

Mark moves his hands from your face to your back, and caresses the skin there for a moment, before hugging the middle of your torso and pushing you flush against his. Your naked breasts collide with his equally naked chest, and his skin burns yours. He's restricting you from moving now, so he angles his hips pressing his feet on the mattress and starts thrusting up into you. It's a gentle pace, but all the alcohol and the weed in your system only make you feel him ten times intensified, ten times deeper. You tug on his long hair, bite and suck on his neck trying to contain all the sounds that want to escape from your mouth, yet the pleasure is too much and more than one manages to slip and mix with Mark's whines.

You're kinda embarrassed when you come after what feels like only five minutes that passed since you sat on top of Mark.

He feels you clench and become tight around him, so he stops his movements for a moment until you catch your breath. You know he's not done with you, just trying not to hurt you from the overstimulation. After one intense orgasm heavily loaded with feelings, you're exhausted. But this has always been about him. You need to make sure he will go back to sleeping peacefully. So you get off him and lay beside his body, before Mark takes position between your legs and buries himself inside you one more time.

He doesn't need to do much, doesn't need to say anything at all. You and him have gotten to explore each other's bodies for months now, you both know damn well that you're gonna come again, and after that you're gonna let him finish making a mess all over you.

What Mark would've never expected was seeing those thick tears run down your face, that you quickly tried to swipe off before he could ask anything about it. Even if sometimes it doesn't show, Mark loves and cares for you, so he's gonna ask anyway.

"Love," he calls for you and stops his movements. You open your eyes, lashes feeling heavy with the weight of the tears on them, and see his worried face right on top of yours. His hair is messy, his neck sweats and a silver necklace with a couple of charms hangs from it, somehow making Mark look even more attractive than usual. "I didn't hurt you, right?" A deep frown takes over his features.

You feel bad for ruining such a moment like this. You answer, shaking your head no.

"Please tell me the truth."

You shake your head no once again, wrapping your arms around him to tug and make him collapse his weight on you.

Love. The pet name replays in your head like a scratched CD and you wish you could turn it off to finally go to sleep. Mark calls your name and props himself up in his arms to look at you. He's still waiting for an explicit reply to his question.

How could you tell him that you were crying because you never felt so much love for someone in your entire life, without scaring him away? How could you explain to him that you understand it was all in your head, because you know he is too broken to even love to that same extent?

"I'm fine," you finally tell him and grab his face to give his lips one last, deep kiss. "Crying 'cause it's too good."

He shows a subtle smile and makes an effort to observe how the morning light illuminates your skin, with his eyes full of sleep, drunk on alcohol and your body and barely open. It's an image he wants to remember because, for some reason, it also feels to him like it could be the last time he gets to be with you like this.

"You sure?"

You nod and smile subtly in response, and move his fingers to make him touch you, in hope you can overcome the pain of loving too hard with the pleasure.

"Wanna give me one more?" His lips get your neck and collarbones all wet while he works on bringing you to the edge. His name manages to come out of your mouth in between gasps. "The last one?"

After both of you finally finish, Mark collapses on your side, half of his body still curled up to you, and calls your name softly. You hear his voice getting filled with fatigue.

"Mhm?"

"Thank you," he says in a whisper. Next thing you know, his breathing has become heavy again and his little snores can be heard in the silent motel room.

The story repeats itself, and you curse yourself and despair for not being able to even shut your eyes closed when you're exhausted. You're overthinking again. Hours go by with barely a couple of hours of sleep, and soon you have to get up to leave food ready for Mark and continue with your life outside these four walls.

3. Permission to crash, collecting damages, boy

The metal stairs creak under your shoes as you go up to the motel room, carefully not to slip because of the night's drizzle. The walk to the room where Mark has been staying feels longer than usual, maybe because you're extremely tired, and don't even remember the last time you got to sleep for an entire night by now, always interrupted by something—if it isn't because of Mark's nightmares, it's because you're either out with him and friends or catching up with missed work instead of sleeping. You can't wait to make it through his door, find him sleeping (with a little luck) and pass out on his bed beside him.

That old clock hanging on the wall indicates 10:27 p.m.. Inside, the room is extremely quiet. If it weren't for the mess around every surface, and the image of Mark's legs knocked out on the bed that you can perceive through a thin curtain separating the bedroom and the common area, you would believe the space is completely empty, abandoned.

The small table that Mark uses to eat is almost imperceptible for all the garbage that has accumulated there. Empty beer bottles, packs with leftover food, cigarettes, dirty napkins, his car keys and even some clothes cover the surface. You wonder how Mark continues to use the table when you're not there, or if he's just using it to leave stuff .

The delivery bags will serve to collect all the waste and clean up the environment a bit. Your friend has been going through a difficult time for a while now, and of course it's hard for him to do simple tasks like keeping the place where he lives clean and tidy. You don't even think about it much when you propose yourself to give him a helping hand while he sleeps; throwing everything that seems useless and dirty into the bags, and leaving it in the bins on the street. You hope Mark will feel more uplifted when he wakes up, finding himself in a slightly nicer, more livable place.

He's in a deep sleep leaning on his side, and watching him breaks your heart. You like it when Mark sleeps naturally. Even when he passes out from being extremely exhausted, you prefer it instead of when he goes to sleep after injecting that destructive drug right into his veins. On his bedside table is the glass syringe, the lighter, the aluminum foil. On the floor, in the space between the rickety bed and the little table, a plate with lines of half-consumed cocaine and the belt of his pants.

He doesn't even care enough to hide it anymore. It breaks your heart some more.

In an impulsive act, you grab whatever is there that has been destroying him, Yuta and you. Everything that has been making life difficult for everyone, ever since Taeyong left, since Johnny kicked Mark out, and your friend fell even harder into that pit.

You flush it down the toilet. Tears run down your cheeks, and the sound of the water taking everything down the drain mixes with your sobs. At the same time, the lights from the garbage truck outside the motel come in through the bedroom window, blinding your view a bit. Nothing is left.

With shaky hands, you open the window and light up a cigarette, in hope of calming down a little. Every day that passes is becoming harder to understand how you made it this far. You can't imagine how worse it could be if you weren't there for him, or if Yuta wasn't with Mark too.

One cigarette is consumed after another, until the ashtray is almost full and you stop because your chest starts to hurt. Mark's voice is present in the room; he calls your name dragging it full of confusion.

Here begins the story of how everything you two once were ended in a few minutes, too fast. Or perhaps the fall was anticipated, but no one knew how to cushion it.

"What happened here?" he asks hoarsely, clearly struggling to fully open his eyes, despite the place being subtly illuminated by the street lights peeking through the windows.

"Just did a little cleaning," you answer, letting the smoke out of your lungs. You said to yourself it would be the last one of the night, but something about the situation is making you slightly anxious.

Mark only nods in response and keeps turning around in his place, taking everything in. He ruffles his head in a poor attempt at fixing the bed hair, scratches the back of neck down to his arm. It's nerve-wracking—seeing him act so natural after having passed out for you don't know how many hours, at the risk of overdosing and dying alone, choking on his own vomit.

It fills you with rage inside how inconsiderate he's been lately, but you're exhausted and don't plan on fighting tonight.

"You coming back to bed?" 

"No, sorry," he says when you're already on your way to the bedroom. The clarity in his voice tone indicates to you he's wide awake now. "I have a race in like an hour or so."

You sit on his side of the bed to finally take your shoes off and start undressing. A heavy sigh unconsciously escapes you, and you have to ask him. You've been thinking for a couple weeks now that it would be good for him if he just left the racing scene, only for a while until he fully recovers from all the pain he's gone through. If it all started with it, the answer should be there too, ending it.

"Why do you do that?" You watch his figure enter the room. "Why do you keep racing?" Your questions come out a little exasperated, the tiredness getting the worst out of you even when you don't mean to sound rude.

"Why do I keep racing? How do you think I'm paying for the fucking expenses right here?"

His tone disorients you for a moment, making you believe that your question may, in fact, have been inappropriate. "Sorry, I just- I just thought you could get a job that makes you feel a little more normal, you know?" you propose, almost as if you're afraid of how he might react. "Give you a routine, make you feel better."

"No," he answers quickly, shaking his head low. "Racing is the only thing that makes me feel alive right now. That, and"– he doesn't finish his sentence. Instead, he gulps dryly and keeps his thoughts only for himself.

You know it's better not to push it. Because he's not good with words, and because you don't think you're capable of dealing with whatever other emotions Mark could be going through right now.

You love Mark endlessly. You're sure the only thing that's wrong right now is that work drained you. You could have this conversation in the morning.

"And you? Why do you do it?" he decides to ask without looking you in the eye.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you keep playing with Yuta and me at the same time?"

The question makes your heart stop and your stomach turn, but you try not to show it.

"That's seriously the last thing I needed to hear today."

You finish saying the sentence and move to the bathroom to quickly brush your teeth, ignoring the eyes of Mark following you from his spot in the bedroom. Too familiar with his look on you only wearing your underwear. Too used to Mark's bad mood after putting substances into his body until he falls unconscious. Too guilty because, in fact, you've been feeling confused about the two boys.

"I know you like him. I– I can feel it. I saw you laying so close early, saw the way you looked at him."

It makes your head hurt, and you squeeze your eyes shut trying to, somehow, ease the pain away. Yes, of course there has always been something about Yuta. Something about the calmness and security you feel when you're together. Something about the love you see he has for Mark that you wish someone had for you. Something about his kisses and touches and the look in his eyes that feel safe. Because Mark was your best friend once, your unconditional support; you were each other's until you weren't anymore. You just started to take care of him and to fall for him harder, and harder. You only became his while you lost him and he lost himself in the process. But Yuta somehow was there to make it easier for you, and numb a little part of the pain away.

You still love Mark endlessly, but he's not good for you. You don't love Yuta, but he feels like the right one for you. And you know their brotherhood might come before your friendship—with any of them. You can't ruin that for them only because you can't decide between the two boys.

It's always been easier to ignore all that.

"Can we just– not have this conversation?"

"Are you fucking him too?"

"I'm not." You look up to him as you accommodate yourself on the bed once again, rage filling your insides for the second time that night. "And what the fuck do you care, huh? The fuck do you care about me?"

"I care because I thought you were with me?" he asks, a tone of disbelief in his voice.

"Mark, we never agreed on being exclusive. We didn't even talk this out. We just started fucking because you were too fucking selfish and couldn't even notice what actually happens here"– you get interrupted by him calling your name.

His eyes are fixed on the nightstand that you emptied while he was passed out. And you swallow dryly, afraid to say a word. You can't imagine what he's going to say to you but, from his look, you can be sure it's not nice at all.

"You did a little cleaning," he repeats.

The room stays quiet. Mark starts looking for something around the nightstand—over it, behind it, under the little furniture and in the space around it. Frantically. And calls your name again. This time his voice is shaky, and when he looks at you he's at the verge of tearing up.

You imagined throwing all his drugs away would be hard for him. A risky move. All kinds of reactions were expected.

"Where is Taeyong's necklace?"

"Huh?" discomposure shows in your tone.

"Taeyong's necklace! It was right here, on the nightstand."

You remain quiet while observing him starting to look around the entire motel room. His body has got all tensed up and began shaking in consequence. He empties the drawers, the bags with his clothes, takes the bedsheets off, makes you move to turn the bed and the pillows upside down and checks inside the bathroom too. There's only curses coming out of his mouth and his voice breaks more and more, starting to sob like a little kid in front of your eyes when he realizes the object he's looking for is nowhere around.

He yells your name to get your attention but it only scares you even more. You're terrified of telling him, because you know you've really screwed up this time.

Meeting his teary eyes, yours fill with tears too.

"Mark," you call for him but he's already looking at you, waiting for an explanation.

You remember it now. It had been standing over the little table since you got here for the first time, but you never paid much mind to it—a silver chain that ended in a small cross and a rose, Chrome Hearts style. And that was Taeyong's favorite brand. Mark rarely wears jewelry, yet you have a vague memory of it hanging off his neck the last time you were together. It takes you a second to put two and two together; your heart finally ends up breaking into two pieces.

"I'm sorry." The tears reach your chin. "I took all the trash out."

Mark follows your finger pointing to the window, from which you can see the large garbage containers on the side of the street. Then he turns his head to the left, in the direction of the clock that reads almost twelve at night. He knows that the truck comes around eleven at night to collect all the bags, and he almost always misses it because he's sleeping and ends up accumulating all the trash in the room. Both you and him know everything is gone by the time, including Mark's memory of Taeyong.

He breaks into a desperate cry, which pierces the air and makes your ears and chest ache with his grief. It's so full of anguish, like you've never seen him before, not even when you were burying his friend together.

It takes him to the ground and makes him roll and move, tug at his clothes and his hair violently like he's trying to take the pain off his body, trying to escape the misery. You try to reach out to him to try and comfort him, still a bit in shock since you were the one that caused him this pain. But he doesn't want you near him; he lets you know by slapping you away from his body and throwing everything he finds around him in your direction.

So you step back, clearly afraid he might hurt you in this state. Mark can sense the fear, and the last thing he wants in the world is to hurt you and put you away from him too. Losing you like it happened with his childhood best friend Donghyuck, like it happened with Taeyong, like it happened with Johnny. But he can't tell you. Nothing can come out of his mouth more than those uncontrollably sobs and screams of pain. He can't clear his mind right now.

"I'm sorry," you keep saying while you get dressed and start picking up your things in a rush. "I'm sorry, please forgive me."

He's sitting on the floor, legs curled up to his chest, back to the end of the bed while his arms hang limb to his sides, defeated and body drained from all its energy. His entire face is wet with sweat and tears, and he cries looking at the dirty ceiling.

When you've already left and find yourself in the open corridor, a few room's down from Mark's, guilt washes over your body: you too left him alone, just like you know he's scared of. You manage to take your phone out of your pocket and dial the first number on your recents list with shaky hands.

The need to cry only increases when you hear his voice on the other side of the phone.

"Can you please come by Mark's? Please?" You cover your mouth with one hand trying to hold back the sobs. "I can't deal with this anymore, Yuta. I'm sorry. It's–Mark and I are never gonna work out. It's out of control–"

"Take your car and come home," his voice is soft and calm, despite the rushing sounds in the background. You know he's dropping everything to go where Mark is staying. "Come home and wait for me here, no matter how long it takes."

You nod in response, even when Yuta can't see you through the call.

"And don't worry about Mark, I got him."

4. Gotta let you go/Since you've been gone I've been having withdrawal

The dead had to be visited when they were alive, was what your mother used to say when you were little. The cemetery was never a place that she liked very much, for she never took you to visit and leave flowers for your old, dead uncles and grandparents.

You believe your mother's rejection of the dead had to do with the fear of death itself. The refusal to accept the inevitable: we will all end up right here one day. Under different circumstances, ones having lived longer than others, but dead at last. Even though you believed you had no problem accepting this, entering the place on this spring morning was becoming incredibly difficult. While it's normal to have grandparents dead when you grow up, it never feels normal to lose someone so close to your age.

You can't expect to meet anyone in particular, but you know that at least the vast majority of his friends will be there. It's the anniversary of Taeyong's death, and the morning is fresh. The sun is shining and the roses planted in the park have bloomed, as if they knew they were his favorites. This should be reason enough to walk through the gates and go lay out some flowers for him, as a way of saying thank you for such a splendid day.

The walk up to the place is quiet enough to boggle your mind a bit. The last couple of months you've been working on yourself, trying to stop overthinking things and rebuilding your self-esteem little by little. Mark and you haven't seen each other again after that big fight and after you left the place he was staying. Yuta did God's work that night, and you know Johnny and the rest of the guys helped him the following days—and months. You just stayed out of it. No one really wanted it, no one agreed to it. But it naturally happened, because deep down both of you knew it was the best outcome. Mark understood you had to go away in order for both of you to heal.

It wasn't an easy process.

"Am I a bad person for doing this to him?"

"Well, it's hard to tell what's good or bad, because it depends on who's saying it," the therapist replied.

You looked down as soon as he started talking to you, avoiding his eyes. You remember that you thought you were not going to cry in your first session, that it was going to be difficult to let go and talk about everything that had been hurting you lately. However, as soon as you sat down on his couch, tears began to roll down your cheeks.

"But how do your decisions make you feel?"

"I feel selfish."

It took you a while to learn that looking after yourself wasn't a selfish thing to do, but a completely valid way to maintain your sanity. That you needed to set boundaries with the people you love the most, because even they might hurt you, and because you might end up hurting yourself. It doesn't necessarily mean they are bad people that want to cause you pain, but humans that make mistakes and that are constantly learning how to deal with each other.

Pain is needed. Boundaries are needed. Communication is needed. Self-love is needed. We learn some of the most valuable things of life from all that.

Johnny is the first one to see you arrive. He receives you in silence, with a small smile and a hug. The next to repeat his actions is Jaehyun. Finally, Yuta presses you against his torso and you stay like that for a little longer. The soft skin of his arms envelops you; it's warm and he feels just as safe as you remember. His scent is an odd combination of cotton softener, a manly scent of pine, and cigarettes.

You will be the most grateful to Yuta, forever. He knew where you belonged from the beginning, and helped you clarify your mind to come here and speak to Mark. Not expecting anything, but knowing that whatever would result from that talk should be the best for the two of you.

You can perceive his heart is beating fast, but definitely not as fast as yours when Yuta breaks the hug, looks into your eyes and then to Mark, who is still sitting in front of Taeyong's grave and oblivious to everything that is happening behind him.

The concrete of the bench feels considerably cold compared to the rest of the environment when you sit next to him. There's a moment when you just dedicate yourself to reading Taeyong's name, over and over again on the plate.

It hasn't been easy and it will never be. It makes you rethink things. Decisions, habits, vices, relations. Coming to terms with the death of someone so close to your age. It could be any of you at any moment, so you guess your mother was right: spend time with your loved ones as much as you can while they're alive.

Mark's eyes grow heavy on your profile and you are forced to meet them. He definitely looks healthier. He has recovered some weight, his dark circles have almost completely disappeared, and his hair is back to its natural color, sporting a fresh undercut.

Most impressive, however, is the way he smiles at you and proceeds to lay his head on your shoulder. He lets out a sigh and somehow you feel relieved—he's not mad at you. In fact, he seems to feel fine, comfortable enough to approach you like that. You can't help but let out a deep sigh as well.

He's the first one to talk since you arrived.

"Hi."

"Hi," you reply, almost in a whisper. As if you were to raise your voice, all that harmony would dissipate in an instant.

"I wasn't expecting you." You feel Mark's voice vibrate through your body and reach your ears. It sends a shiver down your spine.

You have missed him so much. The past months have truly been a torture, but you didnt realize how much you needed to feel him this close, to listen to his voice, until this very moment.

"I was hesitant to come."

Mark lifts his head from your shoulder and stares at you for what seems like a minute or two. In a profound way, as if he was looking for something in your eyes, but as if he was gathering the courage to open his mouth and break your heart once and for all, giving this story a true closure. Perhaps about to do what should have happened a long time ago.

He just nods and says, "I'm sorry."

And you wait for it to come. For him to tell you that he's fully recovered now, that he doesn't need you, that you can go and live your life freely with whoever you want and that he will do the same.

"You know that night… The night we had the fight."

"Yes?"

"I said racing was the only thing making me feel alive."

You don't remember it so clearly at first. That night was quite traumatic, so you have to recapitulate and swallow the lump that forms in your throat remembering the events, and how everything about your relationship with Mark exploded in your face.

"I lied," he continues after a pause. "It was being with you. And I was afraid of hurting you and losing you, and I didn't want to lose you because you were the most important thing I had. But that's what ended up happening and–"

Mark can't finish his sentence, so he takes a deep breath. A cigarette appears between his lips, and it's when he struggles to light it up when you notice how abstained he is and how hard he's fighting it, by the incessant shaking of his hands and his sweating. He lets the smoke out of his lungs looking at the grave, remaining silent until he decides he's calmed down enough.

"I really loved you at that time," Mark says and shares the cigarette with you. "I–I still do. I really, seriously don't need you to take care of me anymore. But I want you to be with me."

He says this last sentence reconnecting with your eyes, looking at you the same way he did earlier, when you expected him to break your heart for good. He turns over his shoulder and looks at the boys one by one, who have been watching your exchange in silence until now.

"All of you," and he finishes.

Johnny pats Mark's shoulder and smiles fondly at him, giving him a little squeeze of comfort. "You'll always have us, no matter what happens."

5. Loving you almost feels like something

"And with this," Johnny starts as he places the last box at the entry of your apartment, "I get closer to being completely free for once."

"Dude," Mark tries and fails to sound upset, "can you not be so happy about me leaving your place? You're making me hurt. Like, you could at least lie about you being sad or missing me."

"But I never lie."

Jaehyun's deep laugh is present next to Johnny and he decides to speak, looking at Mark who is now hung up on you, more and more affectionate with you in front of the boys since you formalized your relationship.

"Baby's leaving the nest. Now it's just you and me, Johnny."

Since Mark was moving in with you and Yuta was leaving for Japan, it only left Jaehyun and Johnny at the Suhs' old house. The oldest was happy, because it meant he wouldn't have other three boys going in and out of the place carelessly every time he tries to bring other people home. Johnny loved the boys enormously, but they were all grown now. Maybe it was time they all found their own place to live and just do whatever they want. Jaehyun, however, seems like has no plans of leaving Johnny alone, at least for a little longer.

"Maybe we should become a married couple."

Johnny questions Jaehyun with his eyes for a couple seconds, but after what seemed like the gears of his brain working at full speed, he ends up agreeing. "That could be pretty convenient, actually. Would you cook for me?"

"You know I don't cook."

"Then forget about it."

You and Mark watch the exchange from the outside and can't help but laugh, because they're basically acting like an old married couple already.

"Alright guys," Mark claps his hands to get the boys' attention. "Thank you so much for your help, but I'll be kicking you out now to go celebrate with my girl. You know, all that boyfriend and girlfriend stuff…" He accompanied them with gestures, telling them to walk through the front door.

"Yes, we get it Mark," Johnny answered in a mocking tone. "You've got a girlfriend and you're fucking on every surface of this apartment. And I'm leaving with Jae, and we're getting stoned and going to sleep at seven. So much fun."

"Fuck you, John. Mark, work tomorrow, seven in the morning." Is all Jaehyun says as he leaves your apartment, only to keep bickering with Johnny all the way to the car.

As the afternoon sun falls and filters through the balcony door, the aroma of onion and tomatoes fills the small kitchen and your nostrils, making your stomach rumble a little. The melody of a guitar reaches your ears; it sounds soft and melancholic, the scratching of the fingers against the strings only gives it a rawer tone. You decide to leave the sauce finishing simmering, and you approach the room that you will now be sharing with Mark. You find him sitting there, on the bed, guitar in hand, facing the window with his back to the door. His subtle singing accompanies the chords on the guitar.

You can't remember when was the last time you saw Mark like this. So calm and relaxed. Music has always been his passion, ever since you met him in high school, so seeing him take up the hobby he loves so much and enjoy it brings tears to your eyes.

The words that come out of his mouth form a lump in your throat.

When no ones around me, you lost and found me

I was surrounded

With open arms

He keeps playing and singing softly, without noticing your presence.

Even though it's only been a couple of hours since you finished moving, he's already made your room a bit of his own. It seems that he has stopped in the middle of the task, that he amused himself with the guitar because most of the boxes of clothes are unpacked, the side of the wardrobe that you freed for him with only a couple of blue jeans and t-shirts in place.

On the night table rests Mark's perfume, an ashtray along with his cigarette box, and a couple of books under it. There are two sets of matching keys besides the table now—you had to make a copy for him, since it's his house too. His shoes are at the front door, and they will remain there every day. And Mark's slippers are on the edge of the bed you'll share, next to an open shoe box that catches your eye.

"What is this?"

Mark turns around to look at your face, then at the film camera and a bunch of developed pictures in your hands. A fond smile takes over his mouth.

"Taeyong was a romantic," he says, coming to stand next to you and starting to inspect the pictures. "You know, when he left we decided to divide the things that were important to Taeyong," Mark kept explaining to you. "We gotta fulfill his dreams, keep him alive that way."

"And what are you doing for Taeyong?"

"I'm dropping everything for love. For a calm and happy life."

The answer takes you by surprise, you can't hide it. The tears that had begun to accumulate since you heard Mark sing on the guitar come to the edge of your eyelids, uncontrollable, and threaten to fall at any moment.

"You know Taeyong loved danger and drama… But he really wanted to settle down with someone at some point," he continues speaking immediately. "And I kept these.

Mark takes all the developed films from your hands and starts looking at them with you. Shortly after, he says, "He loved to document the happy moments.

The pictures show various scenarios and all the boys are in there. In some pics it's just Johnny smiling under the sun, in others it's just Mark and Taeyong on a night's out, in others there's Jaehyun having breakfast with Taeyong, or Yuta and Mark acting foolish, totally like Yuta and Mark.

"But if you notice, it's just us living life together," he finishes the idea, melancholy invading his face, and his eyes also fill with tears.

However, you are sure that none of you are really sad. In fact, the horizon has never looked so bright for the two of you. There is no more fear, no more guilt, no more uncertainty.

"I think this is a happy moment," you say, picking up the camera and turning it on. "You and me together, settling down for a good life. You think Taeyong would've documented this?"

Mark smiles big and nods.

"Yeah, I think he would have."

After focusing on Mark in front of the camera, and with the evening light behind him painting the whole room a warm orange, you press the shutter. A not very powerful flash comes out of the camera, but it does its work illuminating those parts the warm light won't reach, and it indicates that the photo has been taken. Mark asks for the camera and does the exact same for you.

"I'm sure he's happy, and really proud of you, Mark," you say as you wrap your arms around his body.

Your ear on his chest even allows you to hear his heartbeat, which is unusually fast. Mark takes a big breath of air that moves his entire body and yours, also trapped in his arms. A warm feeling invades you, embraces your heart and awakens butterflies in your stomach. His heartbeat becomes softer, and his voice, smooth but full of honesty and pride, resonates throughout your body.

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

Mark was once the most careful of all. An incredibly strong and humble young man that thought could have the world in his hands. He had to completely lose control over everything he knew once to know fear, to know grief, to know guilt, to finally find healthy love and forgiveness. To others, but most important to himself.

"But, babe," Mark breaks the hug to raise his head and sniff in the direction of the kitchen. "Don't you think something is burning?"

"Shit!" you exclaim and bolt for the kitchen. "The tomato sauce!"

"Yeah, that's why I didn't take Taeyong's dream to pursue cooking." He crosses his arms and rests his body in the doorway, while you fight to save a burnt, almost brown colored tomato sauce by adding a little more puree and water. "I can't cook either."

You quit trying to deal with the sauce. It looks irreparable anyway. "Yeah… Sorry about that, baby."

"We will survive." Mark shrugs, then comes to kiss you affectionately on the cheek. "Wanna order some pizza?"

Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed my work, please leave a like, reblog or some feedback. I'd love to read your thoughts!

#nct fanfic #mark lee x reader #mark lee fanfic #mark x reader #zh-lele #candy colored cars #too fast #nct 127 fanfic #mark lee smut #nct smut

[violettaskies]

To Share A Kiss The Devil Has Known

(ch. 1)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x you // Eddie Munson x f!reader // perv!Eddie Munson x innocent!reader

Genre: romance, mild smut, Catholic trauma, religious trauma, friends to lovers, slow burn

Notes: this will have a three installments // this chapter is just the intro honestly lol so sorry if it’s boring build up // Eddie is kinda pervy lol // he’s kinda dark but also not // i tried to write him to be as much of a consent king as possible

Warnings: MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY, NSFW // talks of religion, reader goes to confession and her priest is a little mean with his words (at the beginning), slight manipulation, pillow humping, humping, first times, dacryphilia, corruption kink, praise kink // masturbation //please let me know if there should be more added, thank you!

ao3 // chapter two // chapter three // masterlist // series masterlist

-:-:-:-:-

Every other Sunday was for confession. While other members of the family went on Wednesdays or Saturdays, you always chose Sundays since it would start the week off on a clean slate.

Not that there was much to confess about. Oftentimes, you would walk from your house to the church a few hours after mass ended, maybe feeling a bit guilty about your thoughts, rarely was it ever your actions. One day, you came in to tell the priest about how angry you got at your parents when they grounded you for accidentally falling asleep in church. You didn’t lash out at them, of course; but, you did curse them in your head — not honouring thy father and mother very well.

Then there was an instance three years ago at the homecoming dance. One girl had on the most beautiful baby blue dress you had ever seen, while you were stuck with a hand-me-down gown of the same colour. You prayed aloud that night in front of your bed, that you would one day have the opportunity to wear a dress as nice as hers. But the prayer backfired when your mother overheard, then told you to march to the church the following morning to confess how you broke the tenth commandment of coveting thy neighbour’s goods.

As a whole, you thought there were never any major moments in your life where you sinned gravely. That was until you went to your friend’s house for Bible study on Saturday night. She hosted it weekly, and invited all the kids from school. Needless to say, only a handful of people appeared. Not that it wasn’t fun, the six of you would always spend a few hours going over passages, and then eat a nice dinner afterwards. Truly, you looked forward to it since there weren’t other things you were invited to in town.

So when this past Saturday rolled around where the first epistle to the Corinthians was read, specifically the sixth chapter and eighteenth verse — your group started to analyze it as normal. But, little did you know that this was the day your heart would drop the hardest it ever has.

‘The sexually immoral person sins against their own body,’ the people in the room repeated the verse over and over, like a chant taunting you and your actions.

It was the first time you walked into the confessional on a Sunday afternoon with shaky legs and an intensely beating heart. You told the priest what you told your friend, trying to rid yourself of the sins you unknowingly committed. But he stopped you, his voice only getting louder as he gave you guidance on your next steps. ‘Stop doing that,’ he said, ‘God may not be so quick to forgive you if you give into the Devil’s temptations so often.’ Then after he assigned you a penance of five Hail Marys and going through the rosary twice, you were gone.

All you could think as you took your first steps outside, were words that should never cross your mind. Not now, not ever.

If sinning is so bad, then why does it feel so good?

-:-:-:-:-

As the day ended, and a new week of school began — your guilt never went away. Teasing you from the back of your subconscious as you walked home, ate dinner, and failed at doing some homework that was due a few days later.

It had been three days since the last time you unknowingly sinned, two days since you found out what it was, and one day since the priest’s voice scared you to the point of no return. Everything affected you gravely, that even once you walked into school Monday morning, the noises from the other students became a muffled and chaotic mess in your ears. So much so, that as you were shakily getting things out of your locker, you didn’t even notice movement from the one next to yours.

“You look stressed, sweetheart.” The voice startled you, only amplifying your inner-guilt, since you spent the past few moments focusing on shutting the voices up in your head, rather than greeting your favourite locker neighbour.

But what made you feel guiltiest of all, was that he is the one who inspired these sins of yours.

The throbbing ache between your legs felt good, and the way your pillow helped relieve that ache felt even better. If you were able to feel this level of delight every night, then why not think of someone who made you feel the same way? — the question plagued your mind nightly, during the moments you were oblivious to committing a sin.

Little did you know that it was truly sexual in meaning.

There was only one person who made you feel equally as amazing with their words and actions. Your locker neighbour to the right, Eddie Munson.

Several moments replayed in your head. Like the time he kept calling you ‘pretty girl’ because you decided to wear a skirt on the first day of Spring. Then, you remember how his calloused fingers felt when they were so close to your face after he brushed your hair from your neck; making sure to linger on your sensitive skin before mentioning how beautiful the silver crucifix looked on you. There were so many times after that too. From his deep voice whispering in your ear to ask if you needed a ride home while you both were in study hall; to his arms wrapping a sweater around your shoulders during lunch when the school’s heater broke. The Hawkins townspeople claimed him as a spawn of the Devil, but you named him as the only true friend you had. The only person to make the butterflies in your stomach tingle every time he spoke to you.

“I-I’m not, it’s just I can see now why Mondays aren’t people’s favourite,” you responded, still staring into the vastness of your locker. Thinking about how your start to the week wasn't so great as it usually is.

Eddie had opened the metal door completely, removing the barrier between the two of you. “But, Mondays are always your favourite because you get to see me after a painstakingly long forty-eight hours,” he pouted while trying to get you to giggle at his dramatics.

It worked.

“Well, I normally see you around the fourth period. This is the earliest you’ve been at school for a while.”

“Mondays are the worst because my homeroom teacher loves putting tests at the buttcrack of dawn,” Eddie groaned, while holding up the notes you loaned him at the beginning of the year since you already took the biology course before.

“Well, good luck, I’m gonna go—” no matter how much you loved talking to him, and how warm he made you feel, Eddie was part of your current predicament. So seeing him now made your heart ache in the worst way.

As you went to grab the locker door to close it, Eddie lightly grabbed your wrist. “I saw you leaving the church yesterday. You looked so,” he paused, moving his head downwards to meet you at eye-level, before continuing. “Sad, you looked so sad. I even called out your name a few times so I could give you a ride home, but you kept walking, so I assumed you didn’t hear me.”

So it was the Devil’s spawn shouting your name as you made your way home; not the Devil himself making you feel guilty for your actions. It was just your friend who wanted to look out for you.

Eddie continued: “or maybe you’re ignoring me,” he pouted with feign-sadness.

“Oh, uh-uhm it was just a really tiring day and I guess the voices in my head were too loud,” it was only partially a lie.

“If something’s bothering you—”

“Nothing’s bothering me, honestly,” this one was a lie, and it came out a bit too easily. But all you could focus on now was the feeling of Eddie’s thumb stroking small circles on the soft skin of your wrist.

He looked you up and down suspiciously before saying, “you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I do.”

“So whatever is going through your mind, let me know. Who am I to judge anyways?” He winked before letting go of your wrist.

You nodded, seriously contemplating if you wanted to have a confessional with your little Devil. Just as you stared at him with eyes full of conflict, the bell rang. Instead of responding, you softly said your farewell. “Anyways, see you later during fourth period, if you decide to come again.”

It was the only class Eddie had a perfect attendance score in, but he would never let you know that you’re the reason why.

-:-:-:-:-

By the time English class rolled along, you didn’t realize just how much your body was moving itself robotically. Going through the movements you’ve been so used to doing for the years you’ve been in high school. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, thankfully. First period was a calculus lesson, history happened afterwards with a lecture on the French Revolution, then a substitute showed up for geography during third period so that was a boring class. All throughout those hours, you kept quiet; because the wrath of the Angel on your shoulder, condemning you for your sins, was becoming far too much. To even think about answering questions the teachers asked was mentally exhausting.

It all came to a peak once you sat on your chair for fourth period English — the only class you had with Eddie this semester, and of course, the only class everyone sat at long desks that held two people. As you looked out the window to the dark blue skies of Autumn, your conscience kept telling you to be careful. You were about to sit next to the boy who amplified your senses as you sinned. Goodness knows how he’ll react to the news if you told him.

What would he think if he found out you think about his hands helping guide your hips nightly, or his voice telling you ‘you’re so beautiful’ when you finally find the climax of your relief, or his lips kissing your —

“You’re still so tense,” the voice brought you out of your haze for the second time today. But this time, Eddie’s warm hand was on the top of your left thigh; the set of thighs you unknowingly went from bouncing one second to squeezing together the next.

“Just tired, maybe I’ll nap when I get home,” you sighed. Truly, it has been three days since the bane of your guilt was committed. You could barely sleep now that you’ve stopped doing your nightly routine.

“Take a nap in my van, I have cute pillows in there,” he scrunched his nose as he teased you, then released your thigh to stretch his arms in the air.

Thinking of how your class went to the zoo for a field trip once, and Eddie found the scariest-looking bats cute, you replied sweetly: “your definition of cute is not really the same as mine.”

“But, I think you’re cute, don’t you?” Eddie loved to make you blush with his not-so-suave comments. Said it was practice for whenever he goes to the bars and flirts with girls there. But he never was able to make them flustered in the way you always were.

You saw the teacher walk into class in your peripheral vision, and prayed that would mean you didn’t need to talk to your locker and desk neighbour for the next three quarters of an hour. “I’m not,” you shyly say while looking away from The Dealer completely.

“You’re such a good girl too,” his voice was deeper than normal.

He was wrong. So wrong. The guilt in your heart only deepens as his words echo in your ear, along with the voices of your priest telling you need to repent for your sins. If this day couldn’t have gotten any worse, of course the muse of your sinful thoughts believes you’re a good girl when you aren’t.

“I-I’m—” your words are saved by the bell and your teacher’s voice which booms through the classroom. You thought you were safe, thought that until lunch you could get away with not looking at the boy who makes you unknowingly rub your legs together. But no, the day that was going downhill, just hit rock bottom.

“This class is a bit different, it will be a work period since I’m assigning you a small project due Wednesday. That’s not a lot of time, so today will be a work period then tomorrow we will have a lesson. I hope that you all can get the project finished after school over the next couple days.”

Doing a small project wouldn't be so bad, would it? The curiousity sat in your brain momentarily before your thoughts went haywire. The teacher paired you off, specifically with the people you were sitting next to, where each duo would need to analyze and present a different chapter of The Picture of Dorian Gray. So after a beat of silence once the teacher’s explanation was over, the class erupted in murmured voices and squeaky chairs. But you couldn’t get yourself to move to face your project partner.

“Don’t kill me but, we may need to finish this tonight because tomorrow—”

“You have your g-gig, I remember,” spreading out your time with Eddie would have helped your intensifying sinful thoughts subside. At least until you got over your bad habit. But now, you both had to do this for your grades — mainly his — so there was no time to lose. Maybe this could be a positive distraction.

“How about we work on it today right after school so we can get it over with?” he suggests.

“Alright, I guess skipping band practice one time wouldn’t be so bad,” you start shaking your left leg again. If you were a sinner, why not fall down the path of delinquency — your tendency to accept defeat a little too quickly, and then spiral, was catching up to you now.

Eddie notices, and touches your thigh again to calm you down like he has so many times before, even a few minutes ago. Although now, you move your leg away from his grip. “No, no, no, you go be a good girl and head to band practice, then I’ll pick you up afterwards and we'll run to the library,” he says trying not to sound disappointed that you backed away from his touch.

“I’ll finish probably a little after half-past three today since there’s only one song to practice,” you state while opening the book to the assigned chapter. “What will you do while you wait?”

“Oh, you know, maybe do some buying and selling,” The Dealer says nonchalantly.

“Shopping?” you ask innocently.

“Of sorts,” he mimes the act of smoking a joint in your direction, and you look at him curiously before understanding what he meant. You remember your father telling you it’s not a good idea to be friends with your locker neighbour because he’s a sinner who does the Devil’s drugs.

Guess he rubbed off on you, while you rubbed off on something else.

The pang of guilt hit you again. Like a stab to the heart from God himself. Tonight, you’ll do penance until you sleep, before the Devil on your shoulder tells you to commit your sinfully bad habit again. “R-right,” you say quietly. “Let’s get started then, you have to stay focused, Eddie, do you promise?”

“Pinky promise, my dear,” he grabs your fingers that are so much smaller than his, and hooks his pinky onto yours. “Only if you promise to focus too. You’ve been zoning out all day long. When you walk from class to class it looks like you’re constantly about to puke.”

“I do not,” you say in a defiant whisper.

“So do,” he teases. “Listen, if I promise to stay focused the entire time while we try and finish this project, you’re gonna tell me why you’re acting this way. It’s worrying me.”

You pause, looking at Eddie’s weirdly mischievous eyes as he starts to rub the bottom of your back. “There’s nothing really bothering me, though.”

“You’re lying, aren’t you, pretty girl?” his fingers started circling in a pattern that brought pleasurable shivers up your spine. After years of giving you featherlight touches — because that’s what friends do, he said one day — he knew exactly where to grasp your body to make you relax.

“Let me think about it,” you slightly give in. However, you can’t get yourself to admit, again, how badly you want to confess your sins to the one who inspired them.

He notices how you started to squeeze your thighs together again during this class. “That’s all I ask,” Eddie chuckles before moving his hands to your waist to move your body closer to himself. “Now, don’t kill me again, but I didn’t read the chapter. Or the book, so,” he elongated the last word while looking at you with feign-innocence with his doe eyes and pursed lips.

One thing you unknowingly did admit, was just how easily you were able to fall for his manipulative ways.

-:-:-:-:-

As Eddie waited in his van for you to come out of band practice, all he could think about was how strange you’ve been acting throughout the day. You were always one to talk to him in shy tones as he would talk your ear off in any given conversation. Today was different though, and he wasn’t able to place a finger on it. What hurt him most was when you reacted to his touch by moving your leg away — a move you haven’t done in the years you had gotten used to his touch. Then, you didn’t join him for lunch like you did every Monday and Friday, since the other days you would be asked to join the band or church group tables.

Something was off, and Eddie feels like it has something to with the downcast image of you walking through Hawkins on Sunday afternoon. Today, he was going to figure it out.

Ever since the man found out his locker was next to yours on the first day of Freshman year, The Dealer became obsessed with you. Not that you noticed him often — Eddie was notorious for skipping class so much that even though you went to your locker between every class, you would only see him once a day during that year of high school. However, he definitely noticed you: your shyness, the way you kept your head down as you roamed the hallways to the next period, and how you had a tendency of jumping a little every time you closed your locker and saw him standing there at his.

The small silver crucifix that was dangling on your neck was the icing on the cake for Eddie. Realizing then, that you were an innocent Angel who went to Bible study and mass every week. While he could only ask God why He put him in such a shitty place with even shittier parents.

Your innocence astounded him — like when people would joke around about how you didn’t know what sex was, all you would do is blush; or how one time a Senior basketball player walked up to your locker and invited you on a date. He was infamous for keeping a list of all the girls he took the virginities of, and you were his next target. The only thing you did though, was thank him and tell him that Bible study was scheduled to be a long one this week so you would rather go to that.

Something possessive leaped out of Eddie that day as he overheard the conversation from behind the metal door. He had to have you, had to know what it was like to roam your mind. He would do anything to make sure you were his.

So he did. Slowly, as the days passed, he would start talking to you more, trying to get you out of your little shell. You were so quiet that sometimes he would need to get close to your figure as you spoke — not that he minded of course. Eddie genuinely did love your innocence and how you didn’t even realize that he was being a flirtatious pervert when he complimented you. That every time he mentioned you were wearing something nice that day, he would go home and picture fucking you in only that piece of clothing or jewelry. His favourite, being the image of you wearing only that tiny silver crucifix you both loved so much.

Then there were the touches you had grown accustomed to. Eddie would invite you to sit with him during lunch — where he would lightly touch your fingers as he went to steal a fry off your tray. Afterwards, he would take his perverted compliments further, by straightening out the fabric of your skirt or shirt collar for you even if it just came from the dry cleaners. The Dealer would do anything to have an excuse to caress your skin for one moment.

You had asked him one day when you had visited his home to watch a movie: “you touch me a lot, why?”

“Do you not like it? Sorry, I just really enjoy—” if he wasn’t already worried about the fact that you were in his trailer for the first time, his heart dropped at the thought that you might hate him for his touch.

“No,” you would never want to make Eddie feel guilty for his actions. Youth group lessons taught you better than that, since it was only right to be accepting of everyone. “What I mean is, I don’t see many other friends do that with each other and I feel bad for them.”

It was his turn to be curious now. “What do you mean?”

“Your touches are nice, Eddie, so soft and sweet. I wish that all people would feel as nice as this with their friends too.” Look at you being charitable with your experiences — when these touches were only meant for you.

“That’s what friends do, they find ways to make their friends feel good.”

“Do you want me to do it for you too?” you reach out to touch his shoulder awkwardly, but you weren’t one to enjoy touching other people yourself.

“Not if you don’t want to. You make me feel good by being there for me when I need it. While I do the same for you, when you need someone to support you,” it’s true; even through all his indecent intentions, Eddie truly found an innocent and friendly warmth within himself for you, besides his love of wanting to be more than friends.

You look at him with sweet eyes to innocently ask the next question. “Then may you please rub my back like you do sometimes? It makes my heartbeat calm down and this movie is scary.”

“Of course, Angel,” it was right then, Eddie realized how much he loved it when you were needy.

“I wish I could have you do this whenever my cousins want to watch horror movies with me. Honestly, my parents don’t even know I’m here. But I just like your tou–”

“Tsk tsk, so naughty. Where do they think you are?”

“Am not,” you exclaimed and Eddie could tell your heart was beating a lot faster than before so he started to rub sweet circles on your back. “Plus, they think I’m watching a movie at a friend’s house, just don’t know who. It’s not a lie. I’m still a good girl.”

“Yes, you are,” he proclaimed deeply, realizing his rebel tendencies have inspired you. While you nearly moaned as your heartbeat stabilized, his touch and his voice made you feel so much better.

When Eddie was home alone that night, he couldn’t stop replaying the small whimpers of yours he memorized. If it was the hormones, or your innocent eagerness to be alone with him and let him touch you — he would never know which one he loved more.

Eddie was a sinner, he knew that, and was able to empower himself with the label. No matter how many times people around Hawkins would rebuke him as the Devil, or how often he would get stares from kids at school as he started to talk to you more: none of it phased him. What he loved most about you was how easily your innocence became obliviousness when it came to his sins – that you would hear about them and refuse to believe he was such a bad person because he was always so nice to you. Eddie couldn’t seem to understand why.

What he did understand though, was that his biggest sin was that every damn day of his life he was on the path of no return when it came to wanting to corrupt your virtue. To make all of his fantasies become a reality as he wanted to slowly make you addicted to him.

Did you figure it out? Is that why you were so awkward with him throughout the day? Why did you beg for his familiar touch in his memories, but pull away today?

Eddie’s mind moved at a million miles a minute, unsure of what was going on. But one thing was for sure: he was going to find out exactly what was hurting you, and he was going to do everything in his power to relieve that pain.

A small tap on the driver door window brought him out of his overstimulated thoughts. “Are you ready to go?” Your voice was muffled by the barrier, but Eddie was able to hear you before nodding.

He chuckled at your tendency to knock everywhere before you entered. Even with the van, you never approached it first unless he was already in it, or opened the door for you — that was mainly because The Dealer wanted to have some semblance of being a gentleman to you, even if he took that opportunity to touch your back to guide you into your seat.

“So the library?” Eddie asked as he watched you put your bag on the floor and straighten your skirt in the seat, not looking him in the eye as you respond.

“Y-yeah, it probably won’t be crowded since it’s a Monday.”

You were wrong, so wrong. It looks like all of the English teachers assigned similar group projects to their classes, since the library was filled to the brim with students from all grades cooped up at tables. You started to get nervous, the library was going to be your saving grace as you worked on this project.

“Should we go to my place?” He asked while tugging on the strap of your backpack lightly to get your attention.

“No,” you exclaimed a little too loudly, shocking Eddie a bit. “We can j-just go to mine instead.”

If you two finished the tasks at his trailer, then you felt as if it was walking into the Devil’s lair — a place where Eddie sinned like your parents said he did. The memories of the times your friend made you feel warm were enough to commit your treacherous acts; goodness knows how you’ll be when you’re in a room where everything is him.

While bringing the Devil reincarnate into your home wasn’t the best idea, your house had your Bible and other religious paraphernalia to protect you from giving into temptation. But, that’s also the place where you committed your unknowing sin, night after night — you thought.

These conflicting thoughts were about to be the death of you, as long as the annoying throbbing between your legs and Eddie’s teasingly sinister voice didn’t get you first.

-:-:-:-:-

#eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x female character #Eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #Eddie munson #Eddie munson fic #eddie munson friends to lovers #eddie munson x innocent!reader #perv!eddie #perv!eddie munson #perv!eddie munson x reader #perv!eddie munson x innocent!reader #friends to lovers #dacryphilia #slight dubcon #nothing too crazy tho #ST fics #ST fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #ST #Catholic!reader #catholic trauma #religious trauma #Eddie munson x Catholic!reader #Eddie munson x religious!reader #my fics #my writing #writing

[throwingmetothelions]

NSFW ALPHABET - Noah Sebastian

I’m once again reminding you because some of y’all don’t seem to understand and it’s making my fucking eye twitch … THESE ARE THEORIES. I know that some of you are younger, and you are new to how fandoms operate, but the whole point of this is to make a compilation of theories about someone based on content that is free floating in the fandom. The information that I’ve been given by people in private is never something that you will ever see me actually write about, so don’t think it is. NONE OF THIS WAS FOUND BY DIGGING OR PRYING (THE TWO ACTIVITIES SOME OF YALL CANNOT STAY AWAY FROM). This shit is theories and personal beliefs based off things we have as a fandom. Do not fuck it up for everyone by accusing anyone of prying. Do not ask me questions about unrelated shit. Do not ask me to answer your thoughts and concerns. ANYWAYS HERE YA GO BESTIES.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Noah is the one with the forethought to go ahead and grab a dirty t-shirt and keep it by the side of the bed. There’s probably already water he was drinking, and that’s gonna have to be good enough lol mans will check up on you, but if you’re looking for full blown mushy romance book level aftercare? Yeah, it doesn’t live here.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Noah is clearly working hard on his physical appearance. From what I can see there was a lot of bulking going on, but we see big ass muscles in those arms. He’s very proud of that. Noah isn’t the type to get transfixed and brain-dumb over something, but I feel like he likes legs. Likes the way they wrap around him, and the way they bend when he pushes someone’s knees back when he’s fucking them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Oh boy. Has absolutely tried his own a few times out of pure curiosity. Tries his best to just jerk off in a shower so he doesn’t have to clean anything up, but he’ll wipe it away with something out of the dirty laundry bin. The man literally liked a meme regarding this so I KNOW I’m RIGHT when I say he wants to cum in you and he wants it so deep it doesn’t come back out. He doesn’t even want to see it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has an obsession with panties and I mean this in the “if yours go disappearing please go bang on his door” way. There’s something about the way they feel, all the colors and patterns (this stupid nerd would buy you Naruto panties and I hate that). Like he would jerk off with them wrapped around his dick and send you pictures about it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s pretty experienced, but I don’t think it’s in the way you all think. You can have so much casual sex and not really be learning a ton, ya know? Like if all you’re getting are random quick hookups for the most part … how experienced are you actually? That being said - he’s ABSOLUTELY the type to have read up on and researched techniques just to keep in his back pocket.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Ha. Ha. Hahaha. I’m laughing because he has a Mars in Sagittarius, so this is going a few ways. He likes to be spontaneous when he has time, so anytime you say “hey do you wanna try …” THAT is his new favorite position. Immediately. The frankness and the roughhousing that comes with that says he would play wrestle until you were no longer playing, and your hands were held above your head while his big ass body all but put you through the actual mattress. So.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Goofy?!? He’s too goddamn nervous to be goofy what do you MEAN. His heart is about to thump out of his chest because, if like most women you wait for him to make the first move, he’s so fucking shy about it. He would definitely appreciate it if you laughed off things like him getting ahead of himself or making a funny noise when you switch positions though because it works as an icebreaker.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He trims it all up. I know he does not have a ton of hair everywhere, but obviously when someone has a lot of tattoos, you can no longer truly see the amount of hair they have on their body. His legs are actually a lot hairier than you think, and he has a happy trail, so I think he just trims it all up.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Oh, it’s Noah’s time to shine. If you give him a reason to be he could be SO romantic. This bastard is an artist. He is a writer. He can set a vibe unlike any other man you’ve ever met (and I swear to god the LED lights are involved unfortunately). If it’s slowing down that you need … Noah’s got you. Neck kisses, eye contact … just please don’t expect it every time. You would absolutely have to tell him ahead of time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I actually firmly believe that he used to not jack off a lot, but now that he’s working out and his stamina has increased he probably does it a little more now. Likes the way his rings and bracelet feel when they touch his dick. Doesn’t make too much noise, but he’s a big lip biter. As we said, likes to do it in showers, so after they play which is also when he’s sweaty and full of adrenaline.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

What we’re not gonna do right now is get into the Mommy Issues ™️, and I think if you asked him to call you that he would tell you to get the fuck out (I’m serious) BUT … he could absolutely fall asleep with your nipple in his mouth. Like as a comfort thing. He would ABSOLUTELY ask to watch a show with you and slowly and wordlessly unzip your hoodie and take one of your boobs out and just kinda hang out there in the quiet dark while he sucks away and THAT is actually a kink. I do not take criticism thanks.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He loves him a good risk, but not if people he knows could be involved. Like he’ll wanna fuck at your house because he really doesn’t want Jolly to hear you, but if it was a bunch of strangers at a bar he wouldn’t think twice about fucking you in the bathroom. He also really loves the bed honestly. Mans is a big ol lazy bear after he comes and he definitely wants to pass the fuck out after yall go at it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you in his bands merch gets his dick absolutely rock solid. We aren’t gonna talk about the narcissist streak he has (I also do not take criticism on this because believe me it’s there), but seeing you in a shirt that barely covers your ass AND has his bands name on it is too much. Also, running your hands over his chest? I feel this one in my bones dude I just know that this makes him feel some sort of way.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Noah wouldn’t actually ever involve one of the direct members of the band into a threesome. I’M SORRY. TRUST ME THATS NOT GONNA STOP ME FROM READING THE FICS AND HAVING MY SILLY LITTLE THEORIES BUT he just wouldn’t. Too close. He would, however, tag in Davis, Kodi or Jesse and I know you bitches wouldn’t complain about that. Again, please god don’t pull the mommy card on him. With this one, I see it being something like he’s either immediately going to tell you that he can’t do this at all now, or he’s going to do it, but then he’s going to feel some type of way after, and it’s actually really going to affect him. He’s going to get inside his head and have a meltdown.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s a giver. I’m the one that gave you that post. I’m the one that one of his exs contacted. I don’t know a lot about all the things in the world, but I know a little something in this department. Noah eats pussy like a starved man and there’s nothing more dangerous than a man that is hot and enthusiastic. You stand 0 chance. He’s highly skilled. He loves getting blowjobs, but if you’re looking at scales they’re absolutely tipping one way.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

So, for all of you out there that may not know, when a man doesn’t have great stamina or he doesn’t last very long cardio and working out can really help that. Noah has done a 180 in terms of exercise, so I think he’s the type to deliver a fast and hard pace but not really think about it. Like he’s so into it and he’s taking in the sounds you make not realizing that he’s picked up the pace.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Doesn’t love them because CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF MEN DONT ALWAYS GET TURNED ON LIKE LIGHTSWITCHES. Noah would need to be teased all day while he’s trying to do other shit if you want to just spontaneously pull him into a broom closet and expect him to perform.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Again … birthchart says he takes risks but I believe they’re calculated. Like the risk of fingering you when you’re on the phone with someone is one he’s willing to take, but he planned it. He also loves to take risks in the bedroom. What happens if he rubs here? What happens if he bites there? Hmmm.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Noah strikes me as a singular really long round kind of guy. Sure, he’ll get you off once before he even takes his clothes off, but I do think he gets sleepy easily by nature because he has personality traits that align with Snorlax and Winnie the Pooh. Noah will absolutely make it feel like it’s stretched on, and he won’t stop until he’s not sure what language you’re muttering, but he’s not taking a break and jumping back into it. His idea of a break is eating you out while he calms down.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I think he may have experimented once or twice (we’re not gonna pretend like he hasn’t been pictured with three different dildos before) but he doesn’t really see a need. Now, for you, he’s absolutely gonna do whatever it takes to get you off. You wanna use a toy while you’re fucking him? Go for it. He really wants to watch you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Here’s the thing. Noah doesn’t MEAN to. He’s not upset that he did, but seriously he didn’t mean for you to see the strip of skin on his belly when he stretched. He didn’t know that him moving your hair to the side to kiss behind your ear would have you gnawing at your lip. He doesn’t do it on purpose, but when you crawl over him and kiss him until he can’t breathe and then call him an asshole for doing that all day it makes him want to fuck you until the sun comes up.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

It’s all under his breath.

“Jesus Christ”.

“Holy …”.

“Yes - fuck, yes”.

He’s the type to grunt while he’s biting his knuckle when he comes. See, and I know that not all of you have thought about this but it’s the fucking truth, most men are conditioned to be very quiet when they cum and it’s because they were once horny teenagers and they couldn’t keep their hands out of their pants. They had to sneak. Noah has been sharing rooms with people his entire life … this man hasn’t learned to let go and let it all fly. He holds back.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Random headcanon? Weed makes Noah incredibly fucking horny, and he can come twice when he smokes because his dick won’t relax if he only cums once. I don’t know why y’all all say he used to smoke … yeah he used to smoke cigarettes and quit, but he still smokes weed - just a whole lot less. That’s why it’s exciting when he takes a few hits. I had an ex that was like this and it’s actually pretty hot so I’m assigning it to Noah because it makes the most sense with him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

There are actual bitchbabies on tumblr.com that are mad because they say that nobody should say anything about the fact that we can clearly see his dick through some of his stage outfits. Listen to me - yeah it’s weird to jump in a strangers inbox and talk about your unhealthy obsession and what you want to do. But. He is a man, and he has a penis, and this is an NSFW alphabet based on theories, and it is not my fault that it is fucking visible through his goddamn pants. THAT BEING SAID BASED OFF OF WHAT WE CAN SEE ON BEYONCES INTERNET - he’s a shower and it ain’t small.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He gets in his head so often. The number one sex drive killer is stress, and I think he definitely, if he has a partner, can go for a long time without having sex if he’s got too much band business. You would definitely need some open communication. Although lucky for you - he celebrates band wins and personal growth with sex. I guarantee that one positive phone call from Matt would mean you get bent over the kitchen counter.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I think he’s falling asleep pretty quickly but it’s also because of the setting. Like I said, our boy loves a good fuck in a bed. That, combined with the soft LEDs, the lofi beats and no overhead lights means he’s already accidentally set the stage for sleep. Just blow out the candles and tell him ya love him because he’s gone.

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic #bad omens fanfic #auntievwroteit

[in1-nutshell]

This is the second part of the past request for Elita One's twin sister reaction from Dinobots and Wreck-Gar.

Hope you enjoy!

Elita One's Twin sister reactions from Jazz and the Jettwins

SFW, Platonic, Hinted romance, Cybertronian (techno organic) reader

TFA

Set Pre-Sentinel and Elita reunion.

Buddy had come to visit Dinobot Island early in the morning before most of the team was up and ready.

She had promised Grimlock and the others to spend the day with them. After that they would watch the meteor shower.

There was less light pollution on the island, meaning the stars would be better to look at.

Bless the Dinobots, they really tried to stay up late, but one by one they ended up falling asleep before it was time to see them.

First, it was Slag.

Then, Swoop.

Finally, Grimlock.

Buddy petting Grimlock’s helm in the cave.

“You can sleep Grimmy. It’s okay.”--Buddy

Grimlock trying to suppress a yawn.

“Grimlock not tried… not tired…”--Grimlock

“Hey… its okay, you guys had a long day of sparring and training. You deserve the rest.”--Buddy

Grimlock huffing tiredly.

“But Buddy excited for stars and so far away…”--Grimlock

“I won’t go too far, I promise. As soon as it done, I’ll come straight back for our sleepover okay?”--Buddy

Grimlock response by snoring loudly.

Buddy chuckling softly before quietly leaving the cave.

Now Buddy was laying on her back looking at the twinkling lights.

Soon it would be time for the show to start.

She closed her optics feeling the gentle wind brushed against her frame.

This was nice.

Buddy peacefully enjoying the breeze.

The winds pick up a bit.

“Hmmm.”--Buddy

The winds start getting harsher as stray twigs start flying around.

Buddy opens her optics and sits up looking at the trees around her sway more and more.

“Carl from the weather station said it was going to be a light breeze.”--Buddy

The winds start picking up even more as her tree sways more and more.

“He didn’t say anything like Category 3 hurricane winds!”--Buddy

Then the fireball hit the tree knocking Buddy into the mud below.

Buddy groaned as the mud stuck onto her paintjob.

It was going to take forever to get all of this out of her joints, not to mention the sanitation treatments she was going to have to do before she could attend to anyone at base.

Buddy groaning as the mud clings to her.

A pair of white pedes appeared in front of her.

“Oh… Sorry about that. Here let me help you up.”

The strange white mech helps Buddy up on her pedes.

He wipes some of the mud from her optics.

Meanwhile with Megatron…

He is trying to read a data pad but something wrong tingles across his entire frame.

Back on Dinobot Island…

“Sorry again. My teammates tend to be a bit… rowdy when they come to new places. I’m Jazz by the way.”--Jazz

Buddy blinks taking in the appearance of the white mech.

“Well, no harm done in the end. It’s a bit of mud after all.”--Buddy

“Maybe we should find some sort of water to wash it off.”--Jazz

Buddy catching a glimpse of the Elite Guard badge.

“No! I mean—it’s not necessary right now.”--Buddy

“Why? That’s going to be hard to clean when it hardens.

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Anyways I’m here for the meteor shower.”--Buddy

“There’s going to be shower tonight?”--Jazz

“Ye—”--Buddy

CRASH!

Two bots suddenly crashed down a couple of feet away from the two making them jump.

The two bots got up and started bickering.

The orange bot created a fireball in one servo, while the other swirled the wind in his servos.

What in the name of Cybertron…

When did the Guard start recruiting Outliers?!

And why did they kind of sound like Blizwing’s kids if he had any.

Did he have kids?

That’s a question to ask another day.

“Jetfire! Jetstorm!”--Jazz

Both bots stop and look at Jazz.

“Those your teammates?”--Buddy

“Yeah. Hey, knock it off you two. She fell off a tree thanks to you two ruff housing.”--Jazz

The two quickly put out the wind and fore, stand up straight and stand in front of the two.

“We are very sorry for that!”--Jetstorm

“…It all right. Just a bit muddy, but it’s okay. I’ll clean up later.”--Buddy

“What is your name?”--Jetfire

“Umm…”--Buddy

Bright stars start flying across the sky.

“The shower is starting! Quick! I know a clearing we can go and see them!”--Buddy

Buddy grabs Jazz’s servo leading the others to the clearing.

Meanwhile at the Decepticon base…

Megatron is trying to sleep but something feels very off, and he feels upset for no reason.

The meteor shower had begun.

She instructed them to look up at the sky.

The four of them stared at the streaks that filled the night sky.

It was beautiful.

The twin loved seeing them and attempted to ‘race’ some of them as they streaked the sky.

Jazz and Buddy just sat down watching the twins and the sky.

They talked for a bit and before they knew it dawn was fast approaching.

“Welp, its time for me to start heading out.”--Buddy

“It was nice night. Thanks for letting us in on the shower.”--Jazz

“You’re welcome, Jazz.”--Buddy

The Jettwins landing down giving Buddy a big hug.

“Thank you for showing us this!”--Jetfire

“This was so awesome!”--Jetstorm

Buddy hugging back.

“I do have to ask, why were you guys on Dinobot Isalnd? Grimlock doesn’t like many bots.”--Buddy

“We actually came here to get a colleagues weapon they lost here.”--Jazz

“Really? What is that?”--Buddy

Jetstorm showing the familiar looking shield.

Buddy suppresses a gulp and smiles.

“Well, it was lovely to meet you three, I hope you guys make it back safe. I gotta go.”--Buddy

Buddy fast walks her way into the brush.

“Wait! I didn’t get your name—and she’s gone.”--Jazz

“You think we will see her again brother?”--Jetfire

“I hope so brother!”--Jetstorm

#transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #tfa x reader #tfa x platonic reader #tfa jazz #tfa jettwins #tfa jazz x platonic reader #Elita One's twin sister

[llamaqueenprompt]

Uneducated Buy

Characters: Mason Mount and Reader

Not Requested

Word Count: 533

Inspiration: “You’re not stupid. Just uneducated.”

“Remind me again why I need to stay home?”

“Because, missy,” he said as he settled down on the couch beside her,”you had the brilliant idea to clean the ceiling and hurted your back.”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” she whined, laying her head on his shoulder.

Mason leaned down, kissing the crown of her head. “How can I make it better?”

“Well, this morning I finished my book. You could get me another one…” Y/n looked at him with puppy dog eyes.

Mason rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead again before getting up and putting his shoes back on. “I have a list on my phone if…”

“Love,” he grabbed her face in between his hands. “I know what to buy you. Don’t worry.” He kissed her lips and left the house before she could say anything else.

Y/n just laid back on the couch, watching her movie. She was sure Mason knew what he was doing. Right?

"Love, I'm home."

"Still on the couch."

Mason smiled as he saw her laying in the same spot he left her. He walked over to her and slowly kissed her on the lips. "Hi," she said with a love-struck smile on her lips.

"Let me go get the bag. So, I didn't know what you wanted to read, so I got you three books."

"Babe…"

"I know, you said one, but let me spoil my girl," he sat down on the couch beside her, still holding the bag. "So, first I picked up a romance because I know that would be a safe choice."

She picked up the book from his hands, analyzed it, smiled at him, and pecked his cheek.

"Then, I know you don't read a lot of horror and fantasy, but you said you wanted to branch out, so I picked one of each."

As he took the books out of the bag, Y/n tried her best not to laugh.

"What?" he looked at her and back at the books, not understanding what she found funny. The books looked good.

Y/n smiled at Mason and picked up the two books that were lying on the coffee table beside the couch. Mason's face went blank as he saw the four books lying on the couch while Y/n just laughed.

"I'm so stupid." he stated analysing the duplicates.

"Oh, babe," she wiped away the tears that had fallen from laughter. "You're not stupid. Just uneducated."

Mason pouted slightly, realizing he had made a mistake in choosing the books. "Oh love," she pushed the books away and got closer to him, "next time you'll get it right," she kissed him gently on the cheek, "but you have to admit, it was slightly funny."

"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "Maybe a little," he wrapped her up closer to him. "But please, next time tell me what books you want."

"How about when I'm better, I'll make you a list of books I want, so you can surprise me?" She stuck out her pinky to him.

"Deal," he crossed their fingers and kissed hers. As they cuddled on the couch, Mason couldn't help but smile.

#mason mount #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount fluff #mason mount x y/n #imagine #x reader

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

A BREATH OF FIRE x Min Yoongi

[Hybrid Gods AU]

PART TWO

Please wash away this blood on my skin

Side characters: Park Jimin/White fox hybrid.

Warnings: Mentions of blood, death, violence, sharp objects, suggestive words, smut, alcohol, killing.

Genre: Fantasy, romance, strangers to lovers, R +18.

………………………………………………………………………………….

I’ve gotten used to it now. Waking up to the smell of wood and cinnamon in the morning. Yoongi always got up before me, I’ve never really asked him why. He only told me he had fox duties in the morning. I didn’t put much thought in it, sometimes some things are better left unknown. If he wants tell me, he will.

My mornings were usually the same, Jimin would come everyday and bring his delicious bread and sweet honey cake. We would chat a bit and he kept me company, always leaving before yoongi arrived. We didn’t talk about what happened last time but I made sure to assure him i was much better.

After he leave i would clean up the house a bit, making sure everything was on its place. Then I would spent some time in the garden outside.

It wasn’t anything huge, it had a small pound with some fish on it in the middle of the path that lead to the entrance of the house, i would always read there. Surrounded by greens and flowers all around it. Red roses fallowing the path to the entrance, i always collected some to use as decoration on the house.

Today wasn’t any different. I watched as the white fox smiled with red checks at me, mouth full of sugar from the small bread he just eat.

- you look like a child - i said, taking a napkin noticing my intention he came closer with his face. I only chuckled cleaning the sugar off his lips.

- what can I do? I’m a messy eater - he said, after I cleaned his mouth.

- oh, it came to me… I never really asked you, who baked this? - i said.

- who do you think? - he moved his eyebrows up and down suggestive. I watched him expectedly. - I did.

- you did?!

- you seam surprise - he laughed.

- I’m just… yes. You’re really good a baking! - I complimented him, his checks got even more red now - truly, i don’t think I’ve had such a delicious sweet bread before!

- thank you… - he murmured shyly. His ears moving slowly.

I smiled at him. He’s so cute.

We eat quietly in the past minutes, after we’re done i made sure to clean everything while Jimin helped.

- you stayed longer today - i comment sitting by his side on the small table.

- i… like you’re company - he said - and it seems like Yoongi doesn’t want to see me…

- don’t say that - I turned to him, a sad expression on his soft features - he told me he’s been busy… I could try and talk to him if you want?

- no… is okay - he gave me a small smile, his ears slowly falling down.

I felt bad for the white fox. I don’t know what kind of relationship they had before but it seams Jimin really likes Yoongi, and to like someone who always seems so cold and distant…

- don’t worry about it - i said - he’s just been busy this time, you know, fox duties.

He smiled at me. His ears coming up now.

Yoongi hates when his ears are touched, never once did he let me get even close to them. I remember the first time i tried, he got really defensive over it.

I’ve always wonder how do they feel? Are they soft?

My curiosity got the best of me without even realizing, my eyes looking at them Jimin must have realized as he lower his head closer to me.

- sorry… - i said, my checks getting warmer.

He smiled at me - is okay, you can touch them I don’t mind.

- really? - he nodded coming closer - Yoongi never let me touch his… I’m really curious…

He just smiled and took my hand putting on his head. They were soft. As I imagine, running my hand through his hair touching the base of his ears jimin closed his eyes, a small smile on his face. I ran my fingers up to the pointy fur on his ear, they were white with a bit of black on top. As i scratch the back of his ears his tail started going side to side.

I chuckled at how adorable he looked. Like a puppy.

As i removed my hands from his ears his eyes opened slowly, a pool of silver and blue looking at me. He seemed happier now.

- thanks - he said, holding his chin with the palm of his hand - i can’t remember the last time i had my ears scratched.

- really? How, you’re so cute? - i said. His usually pale skin turning red. He gets like that so easily.

- well… I don’t… - he stoped himself mid sentence.

- what?

The expression on his face change into something completely different in a second, he got up from his sit, the soft and cute boy was gone now he looked serious and even intimidating, ears standing up as he said the next thing - I smell blood…

He started to walk towards the door and I followed right behind him. A mix of feelings weighted on my chest.

But nothing prepared me for what I was about to see. I didn’t know what to expect, blood, it could mean so many different things. A threat, an animal, human, someone hurt. But most definitely, not once did it occur to me Yoongi.

A gasp escaped my mouth as soon as i saw him. Standing there in front of the house almost completely covered in… blood.

In his right hand a sword. The same one he used to kill the men who tried to hurt me, his eyes where shining so bright I could see them from here. My body was completely frozen as i watched him walk slowly towards me and Jimin.

He looked deadly like a fox walking towards its prey. Just like he did that night. Even more, I could see death in those golden eyes. They looked animalistic.

Jimin quickly stood in front of me protective, as much as i appreciate the gesture i could not let him do this. I saw the way Yoongi was coming towards us, whatever happened to him it looked like he was still out of it. Completely blinded by the blood lust.

Now two feet close to us, i pushed Jimin to the side making him fall on the ground. Rushing towards Yoongi in a matter of seconds, i didn’t even think about it twice not once did he scared me, all it took was a breath. One breath.

So close to him, i could smell the blood from him. His eyes staring right into mine, golden and burning like fire. He didn’t move and neither did i. It felt like an eternity.

The sound of his sword falling was what woke me up in that moment. High pitched metal hitting the ground. His golden orbs slowly closing as his body fell into mine.

Quickly I held him against me, trying as hard as i could to not drop him on the floor. He was unconscious.

I turned to Jimin who was sitting on the floor watching with scared eyes.

- quick! Help me take him inside! - i said, desperately but he didn’t move - Jimin!

He seamed to wake up finally coming back to reality, he got up and made his way to us taking Yoongis body from me. He held him by the side putting one arm over his shoulder.

Going back inside i instructed him to put Yoongi on his bed in the bedroom. As he follow my order filled a bowl with water and grabbed a towel.

Taking both items with me I made my way to the bedroom, Jimin sat beside him watching him with a worried expression.

- he’s not hurt thankfully - he said, looking over me - the blood… it’s not his.

I just thanked him quietly, lowering myself beside Yoongi on the other side. I put down the bowl and submerged the towel on the water.

I began to clean the blood from his face, hands and neck. So much blood on him that I had Jimin getting up three times to get more clean water.

My mind was running laps as i kept think: what? Why? How?

My chest was heavy with worry, what had happened to him that left him like this?

No one said a word. The smell of blood was starting to make me sick. He told me he had duties as a fox but this? What kind of duty involves so much… killing? What did he kill this time?

As i cleaned his hands Jimin said he would make some tea, that the smell of blood wasn’t doing him good. I gave him a nood and smile, making sure he knew i was fine.

But was i?

Was I really fine with all of this? My life turned up side down completely. I was living in a different world.

Cleaning blood out of a nine tailed fox god.

I kept looking at his face waiting for him to wake up. Seeing him covered in blood and unconscious, was he really okay? I couldn’t help the tears the filled my eyes as I cleaned his face, right over his scar. Did he got that one in one of his duties?

I didn’t have much time to think, the same hand i cleaned was now holding my neck. The other held my wrist the hand I had the towel with blood, before I could carry on cleaning the blood off his face.

He held me closer by the neck, golden eyes staring right into mine and burning with rage. I held my breath instantly, my heart beating painfully fast. His hands held me tightly.

- sorry… - i managed to mumble.

At the sound of my voice he seemed to wake up, his features slowly softening and his grip on me as well finally letting me go but not completely, still holding me. I could finally breathe.

With his hand holding my wrist he took me down with him, the other hand making it’s way around my waist as he held me against him. He breathed on my neck soft sounds coming from his lips and his hold around me got tighter.

He was back. A sight of relief left me as I hugged him back just as tightly.

- what happened to you? - i cried.

- not… now - he murmured against my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

- okay.

We stayed like that for how long I don’t know. Once I didn’t felt like crying anymore i tried to get away from him to go back to cleaning the blood off of him but, he just held me tighter.

- Yoongi… you’re covered in blood. - I stated, trying again to let go of him. This time he let me.

Both my hands on his shoulders as I looked down on him, he still smelled like death, had blood all over him and yet looked as beautifully as he always did.

- you should change your clothes - i said while getting up. - I’ll leave you to it.

He nodded in my way as we looked at each other one last time before I make my way out of the room.

I took one long breath, collecting myself before I made my way towards the small kitchen were Jimin was making tea.

The smell of blood following me there as a reminder. He’s not human. Don’t fall for him. Don’t.

…

Me and Jimin made dinner while Yoongi was changing. The whole time he asked me if I was okay, me always telling him i was fine. At one point I had to tell him that me working was the best thing i could do to take my mind off of what happened. At that he seamed to finally get it.

He helped me out as I cooked. Cutting some vegetables, washing the rice, putting the dishes on the table. The whole time i completely forgot about bloody Yoongi. And once we where done with the food, we sat at the table waiting for him.

It didn’t took long. He came back clean and wearing new clothes, not a single drop of blood on him. As if nothing ever happened.

Dinner was quiet so far, Yoongi eat quietly beside me. I had to move he’s dishes because he was supposed to sit at bottom but decided to sit beside me, just like last time. Jimin began a small conversation. Not one mentioned what happened, I figured they would talk about it alone when I’m not around. I didn’t mind, to be honest i rather not know anything about it.

- the food is good, y/n I didn’t know were so good at cooking - Jimin mentioned.

- well thank you, i didn’t know i was good at it too - i said.

- how so? - he asked.

- well, I’ve always been a disaster - i said - i could never go close to the kitchen, somehow I’d always menage to hurt myself or set something on fire, but usually I always hurt myself somehow except… lately.

- that’s good then - jimin said. He smiled at me. It felt nice to finally be able to do something without almost hurting my self.

- give me your right hand - Yoongi blurted out.

- what? - i asked, confused i turned to him. He wasn’t looking me but at his plate, unbothered.

- hand - he said again, now looking at me.

I gave him my hand and he took it inspecting it, he held it into his big one tracing the lines with his thumb. My checks went hot as I looked at him, the way his eyebrows furrowed looking so focused for some reason, how he licked his lips before talking.

- this - he said tracing a small mark on my palm close to my thumb.

- oh, it’s just a scar - i said, looking at our hands.

- when did you get it? - he asked. I looked up at him his eyes finally looking into mine.

- I don’t know, I always had it - i said, he just looked at me. I couldn’t read his expression. What was so especial about it?

- it’s not a scar - he said. Turning to jimin - it’s a Jinx.

- what!? - Jimin exclaimed - how? Why would anyone Jinx her?

- I wouldn’t know… - Yoongi said - it’s in her soul, probably got it from a past life, doesn’t look like modern magic.

- wait… you mean this is not my first life? - i said still looking at the nine tailed fox.

- no - he said looking at me now, something in his eyes sparkled at that moment. - I can’t tell you exactly how many you have lived but, what I can tell you is I’m just as powerful as the thing that put this jinx on your soul.

Thing.

Something as powerful.

- what does it do? - i asked.

- from what you said… this type of magic spell is supposed to make one have a very hard time, and it was put on your soul is going to be with your for an eternity - he explained.

- then… I’ve meet something like you in a past life? - i said, still trying to process the information.

- you’ve been here for quite a long time little human - the fox said to me, his golden eyes shining suggestive as he said it.

I wish that didn’t had affected me more then it should’ve had. But that would be a lie.

That kept running on my mind for the rest of the night. I tried not to let get the best of me as i cleaned the table after we all eat to distract my mind but, it didn’t. It made me feel a cold on my belly.

Jimin wanted to stay tonight to make sure we where all fine, but knowing Yoongi he would want privacy tonight. Especially after everything that happened. The past few days I’ve been living with him made me realize he had wonds inside that he didn’t want to show. And Jimin can be really noisy sometimes.

As I was making the bed i felt the smell of blood was still there so I changed everything, putting on new covers and bed sheets. Once i was done i prepared myself to sleep, changing into new clothes.

I was still wearing Yoongis clothes I wasn’t like I could ask him to buy me some and when I mention that I could take some from my old house he immediately turned it down, at this point I didn’t even minded any more. He didn’t mind it too so.

Once i was done Yoongi entered the bedroom, he seemed tired but didn’t lay down on the bed.

Something as powerful as him.

I couldn’t help but think about it again, a jinx on my soul. I’ve been going through this in all my past lives? What have I done that a creature like Yoongi hated me enough to scar my soul like that for all my future lives?

Maybe I’m not as good as I thought I was. Maybe I was just like those men who tried to hurt me in the forest.

- what’s bothering you? - I heard his voice said closer to me. I turned around only to find him right behind me.

- nothing… just, I just thought that maybe I’m not a good person - i said honestly. Even the way he was standing changed as I said that.

- it’s about the mark - it wasn’t a question, he looked at me almost angry - look, don’t think too much about it.

- yes but…

- don’t - he interrupts, one finger coming to my lips stoping me from saying anything more - i would know if you were bad.

I looked at him, his golden eyes staring right into mine his black hair falling over them. Slowly his finger went down my lips as he let his hand fall back into his side. He didn’t look deadly anymore. He looked just like him. But… still that smell was so present on him it made my insides turn back.

He was still deadly. A nine tailed fox capable of killing without thinking twice.

- do you want me to make a bath for you? - i asked, looking at him as he opened his hanbook.

- is okay… - he murmured.

- you… you still smell like blood - I decided to be honest. He stoped and looked at me, over his eyes. He gave me that look.

- then I’ll shower again….

- no - I interrupt, tiredly - I don’t mind, besides… it looks like you really need one so just let me do it.

He didn’t said anything for a moment. Just looked at me while taking his clothes off.

- then suit yourself - he simply said turning back sliding his hanbook down showing his bare back.

Before he went any further I made my way out of the room. Checks burning hot.

This sly fox…

…

The bathroom had a round bathtub, as you entered is the first thing you see. I turned on and as it was filling it up I took some flowers I picked from the garden, he surely needed to take that smell off of his skin.

As well as some oils and soap, to make everything smell better. The bathtub soon was done and filled. It looked almost romantic with all the candles I had to light it up there. Anything to take the smell of blood off of him. And my mind.

I heard a nock on the door and a Yoongi wearing a bathrobe entered. He looked around before his eyes locked with mine.

- are trying to cook me too? - he said, humor in his voice - why there’s so much stuff in that?

- shut up - i said, not looking at him trying to hide my checks that where burning - get in while is still warm.

- yes ma’am - he said, a chuckle coming from him.

I didn’t waste a second more and quickly got out before he got naked i front of me. A shaky breathe leaving my lips as i did so. He’s so dangerous. So dangerous.

Calming down my body i went back to the bedroom, once in i closed the door. Making my way to bed. Sleep that’s what i need. Sleep.

But my mind can’t seem to shut up. What happened to me? Why was a scared for life? Who did this to me? I wanted to know. I needed to know.

All of this was making me go insane. And this fox… he just seems to love making me go insane. All this teasing and touching out of nowhere, all this… blood.

What does he really want from me?

What is it that i feel for him?

I know that there is something, sometimes i fell this strong pull towards him. It burns and that smell of honey and cinnamon is so inviting and overwhelming but, so good.

A long sigh leaves my lips as i look at the towel and clothes laying over the bed, he didn’t took it with him. I swear this fox is doing it on purpose at this point.

I groan taking them and making my way out of the room, as i stand in front of the door to the bathroom I wonder what i should say, what should I do? Is he in the bath already? Should I nock? Should I just leave it here and go?

Forget it. Ive been walking side to side in front of this door for so long just overthink that he must have heard me with those long ears.

I nock once and call out his name before entering, the sweet smell i remember filling my lounges. Wood, cinnamon and honey. With roses and some herbs I put there to help with his tense body.

- you forgot your towel and clothes - i said, my eyes looking at him. He had his back towards me, I could only see the back of his head - I’ll leave here for you.

He didn’t say anything. So I made my way out and just as i thought he maybe fell asleep there, I heard his voice.

- come here.

It was the way he said it that made me lose a breath, heart slowly beating faster. How his voice sounded more husky and deep. I made my way back to him, standing behind him. The soap made enough bubbles to not be able to see anything under that water, and i felt relieved.

- do you need something? - i maneged to say.

- can you… wash my hair? - He asked, side looking at me.

- what? - I couldn’t hold my surprise, he hated having his ears touched and now wanted me to wash his hair?

- don’t make me repeat myself - he said.

- okay…. I’ll do it.

Taking a small bowl i went on my knees behind him, one hand holding his chin carefully lifting his head up so i could wet his hair before shampooing. He let me, eyes closed and completely relaxed.

Slowly i began to water his hair, being extra careful not to touch his ears. This is gonna be hard.

I try my best to keep my focus as my hands run down his black long hair, stealing a few glances at his face how soft his features seemed like this, the thick vains on his arms, his red chest from the hot water. He had a few scars on his body too.

Every inch of him was a sin. The fact that he was not human explained his inhumane beauty. Even his eye scar looked good on him. But to say that… wouldn’t be okay.

I try to turn off my thoughts as i put on the shampoo on his now wet hair. Carefully massaging the shampoo into his scalp, moving slowly i run my fingers up and down his head. He moans quietly, soft sounds leaving his lips as I continue to massage his head.

Soft whispers leaves his mouth every now and then, my checks burning red at how sinful he sounds.

The fact that he was naked and so close to me didn’t do any good to calm my heart beat. He smelled so good now, i simply couldn’t help it. Slowly running my hands down his neck and softly massaging, putting a bit of pressure on it.

He groaned laying his head down on my hands, i stoped as he opened his eyes to look at me.

- are you afraid of me? - he asked.

- no… why? - i simply said.

- you’re heart… is beating fast - he mumbled, golden eyes shining a bright yellow.

- I’m just nervous - i reply honestly.

He doesn’t say anything else and stares at me as I wash off the shampoo off his hair, careful not to drop water on his face. Once I’m done, I get up and put the bowl on the floor. But before I can leave he hold my right hand pulling me closer again, he does it so fast i almost fall and stumble towards him, holding myself on the bathtub with my other hand.

My eyes almost not believing the sight, as he slowly takes my hand towards his face and kisses right over the mark.

A short breath falling off my lips surprised at his sudden touch, my whole body burns with pleasure as he leaves open mouthed kisses over my hand. How could such thing be so hot?

Hw didn’t let me got, golden eyes locked into mine as he licked over my hand sucking on it too, i closed my eyes as a moan left my lips. He was so good. I was losing my mind over his lips on my skin.

He would bite into it softly then give long licks on my hand, just to suck on it hard making me bite my lip to hold another moan. My checks burned hot and my whole body wanted him.

I was a mess.

- promise me… - he whispered - you won’t worry about this mark anymore…

- I won’t… - i manege to reply.

He gives me a side smile before letting go of my hand.

- that’s my girl…

Next?

Taglist:

@whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @catlove83 @4ukiyo4

Sorry for any grammatical mistakes 😅💖

#bts smut #bts x you #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #bts fanfiction #bts smut reactions #jimin x reader #min yoongi #bts yoongi #yoongi fanfic #bts drabble #yoongi x y/n #bts suga #suga fanart