#i want to kill me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mashmelly · 1 month

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Currently feeling like shit

So, i did like the painting and all, but because my motivation likes to make me feel like a kicked dead puppy, i haven't finished this shit properly

Now give me serotonin 🔫🙂

Bow-chicka-bow-bow~

#ChalkFlavored art #i didn't like the results #deal with it #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin lucifer morningstar #artists on tumblr #brazilian artists #brart #i want to kill me #<3

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lozerzo · 1 year

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My thoughts as of lately…

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you--broke--all--your--promises · 2 years

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Crossing the street without watching for cars

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badolmen · 10 months

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People against piracy fail to realize that no, I can’t just ‘buy it.’ They stopped making DVDs and Blu-Rays. They’re barely offering digital copies for download. I am not spending money I could use for food or bills to pay for a subscription service just so I can always have access to a beloved piece of media. Especially not when the service will remove media on a whim without concern for how the loss of access to that piece will make its artistic conservation nigh impossible.

For example, I recently learned that Disney+ had an original film called Crater. It’s scifi, family friendly, and seems cool - I would love to buy it as a holiday gift for my little brother! But: it’s exclusive to D+ and THEY REMOVED IT LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER ITS RELEASE.

The ONLY way I can directly access this film is through piracy. The ONLY available ‘copies’ of this film are hosted on piracy websites. Disney will NEVER release it in theaters, or as something to buy, and it may NEVER return to the streaming service. It will be LOST because we aren’t allowed to purchase it for personal viewing. If I can’t pay to own it, I won’t pay for the privilege of losing it when corporate decides to put it in a vault.

So yes, I’m going to pirate and support piracy.

#ra speaks #piracy #media piracy #pirate to make hondo ohnaka proud #obligatory ‘don’t fucking pirate small authors/artists works wtf dude’ statement.#anyone who’s seen my media bitching before knows I’m a hype man for indie films this ain’t about them #this is about corporate streaming services killing physical media bc sales numbers are less impressive than number of streams #edit: USAmericans stop telling me to buy DVDs and blurays at Walmart. think outside your borders for a hot sec. fun thought exercise.#your experiences are not universal #edit: WHO GOT THIS TO 100k. I JUST WANT TO TALK (this post is my second to hit 100k woahg.)#in other news: fix your fucking posture. drink some fucking water. and go the fuck to bed if it’s late bc it’s for me rn. peace and light.

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redsray · 2 months

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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

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samble-moved · 8 months

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post itself

false flags

trans/adjacent tags

accessibility features

tumblr live post (thanks for the link, @problemnyatic)

flashing / strobing / lights

unblockable flashing ad

buying ad free

staff @/macmanx guilt trip

list of staff + more issues

#post nuked bc proshippers started insulting people who rbed this and implied partyjockers attempted to Kill staff? it was getting old so #archive links still under the cut if you want and you can rb this from others if you want the og #hint: if you dislike this post or want to debunk parts of it the way to go about it isn't to call people who've rbed it 'disgusting little #fuck ups' that are 'spreading anti shipper lies'#note: this post is and was Not about ship discourse jesus fucking christ proshippers get a grip #also ace discoursers are here too? this isn't about you either?#edit 2: if you send me an anon regarding this post about how im policing discussion or 'don't really want it'#but then stop replying when i answer your ask #maybe that's. not helping discussion?#i nuked this post as people started making up false accusations to smear people staff sniped. aka accusing someone of IRL ATTEMPTED MURDERS.

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july-19th-club · 1 year

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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

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stil-lindigo · 2 months

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when people reblog donation posts and say "donate what you can", I really feel like people aren't actually internalising it. not all of us can afford to donate $50, $100, more than that. but i know for a fact that there are thousands of us that can spare $2 or $5, and that all adds up.

it hurts so much to sit here and feel the limits of our own ability. we're not millionaires. we can't instantly fund these escape attempts. but these are bids for life, by people who never asked for the hellfire being rained upon them by sadistic colonialists, greedy for oil and land. they committed no crime other than being born in palestine. and of course it's unfair, to have to shoulder the weight of people's lives when we're all struggling to get by as it is. but our governments relentlessly fail us, they fail to scrape at the bottom of their cold dead hearts for their last dregs of humanity. it is so, so unfair, but it is up to the common man to save each other.

please. look at this spreadsheet. find a fund that resonates with you. and DONATE WHAT YOU CAN.

#i dont know what else to say anymore #i just want all of them to survive #theres truly nothing that could justify this ongoing genocide #and it kills me. that global pushback is so pathetic. gutless and meandering #free palestine #palestine #fuck zionism #fuck israel #we will see an end to zionism and israel within our lifetimes #i might be suicidal but im not dying before i see netanyahu get what he fucking deserves #donation post

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addamatic · 3 months

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If you have a stockpile you are an addict

Btw you have to refill on the same day you run out of medication

Btw you will have seizures and possibly die if you miss your medication

Btw the pharmacy will not order your medication in advance of the one day you are allowed to call and refill it

But you are an addict who should be criminalized if you have a few days stockpiled so you don’t have a seizure and die.

This is a normal way to treat disabled people who need medication that keeps them from dying.

#chronic illness #disability #cripple punk #ableism #the medical system wants to kill me personally and everyone I love

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theoldkyokodied · 7 months

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The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic

#bloodweave #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x astarion #astarion x gale #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual #the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max #I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together #toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable #I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him #and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale #and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually #helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god #at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale)#anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again

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forgetful-nerd · 5 months

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The real reason we’ll never get another Turtles Forever is because if these three met then they would absolutely destroy everything in their paths.

Also they’d verbally eradicate any villain’s self esteem in like 10 seconds.

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inkskinned · 10 months

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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

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tittyinfinity · 5 months

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Doctor prescribing antidepressants: so this medication can cause side effects such as memory loss, seizures, eating disorders, stomach issues, rashes, fatigue, and could actually make you want to kill yourself even more. This is perfect for you

Doctor prescribing pain meds: Are you sure you don't want to try diet and exercise first? These pills are so bad for you. Yeah technically the list of side effects for this pain medication is a lot shorter than it is for your other medications, but the thing is, they might make you TOO happy. And we hate addicts. I just think destroying your stomach lining and liver with 2000mg acetaminophen and 1600mg ibuprofen per day would be a lot safer, because you definitely don't want "happiness" as a side effect of medication. Not being in pain and being happy is just too addictive and addiction is bad.

#.bdo #my pain medication does help with my focus and my mood a lot too #i mean yeah I'm happier when I'm not in pain lol #my pain medication keeps me from wanting to die unlike the SSRIs they gave me that made me damn near kill myself

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mipexch · 4 months

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I WAS MADE FOR YOU // YOU WERE MADE FOR ME

#ultrakill #earthmover #1000-THR #v1 #violence layer #god. they mean so much to me #what the FUCK is up with the violence layer #theres so much shit. its so good. ohhhmyyy gggggg #their dynamic is insane to me. i cant just make one piece #gen art #object loving object...#weapon4weapon.........#take this comic as you will though #it is meant to be taken both seriously and thematically while also having that. little sprinkle of oh. doomed yaoi/yuri. you get it #by 'i have never wanted anything more' it was mainly to describe v1s instict to take the earthmover down and kill it-#but it can mean whatever you want it to mean

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squish--squash · 1 year

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#I'm mostly making this bc I really want a massage rn my shoulders are killing me #that and a way to pop my back bc i've been feeling the need to pop it for weeks and can't physically do it the way I want

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lilybug-02 · 2 months

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Pain is a great motivator…

Part 26 || First || Previous || Next

—Full Series—

Meanwhile Toriel:

(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)

Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!

#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”????#lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update.#IS THAT A MAC OS???#Yes......owo''#Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters!#FINALLY!!#I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed #Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things.#Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too-#but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :)#bread #art #deltarune chara timeline #deltarune chara timeline comic #seriously though #long post #man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu #This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q #chara #asriel #susie #kris #asriel dreemurr #kris dreemurr #kris deltarune #susie deltarune #deltarune #comic #my art

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