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poppadom0912 · 1 year

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Anesthesia

Characters: Kelly Severide x Reader, Matt Casey, Crockett Marcel

Warnings: Mentions of surgery.

Summary: It's incredible was anesthesia can do to a person.

A/N: Very much mixed feelings but it's also kinda cute, idk. Really short compared to what I normally do but oh well.

*****

"Everything ran smoothly, not a single complication. I'm proud to say your stitches are some of my best and with this kind man at your bedside, you'll be back to firefighting in no time." Crockett said with a smile once he checked all your vitals.

You hummed happily, a sleepy smile on your face as you mentally thanked the man, forgetting he couldn't hear your thoughts. "Your a really good surgeon Crockett."

"I try my best." The surgeon laughed, taking your compliment in his stride. "Rest up alright? I'll be back later to check on you."

Wiggling your fingers, you sighed as the surgeon left the room and looked up at your man in interest, only now remembering his existence when you felt his fingers combing through your hair. "Oh! Husband you're here!"

"Always will be." Kelly chuckled, finding it too amusing how loopy you were after your surgery. He'd definitely remember every single second and make sure it came in handy in the future. "How you feeling?"

"Like a billion dollars." You said with a cheesy smile, enjoying the comfort he was bringing you. "I have a question for you though."

"Ask ahead baby." Kelly said, entertaining you.

"I'm not a baby." You scoffed, looking at him disapprovingly. "What happened to our baby though, y'know the reason why my stomach was so fat." You said, poking your completely flat stomach in pure wonder.

"I did give birth right?" You asked, confirming that your fears weren't true. "There was no surgery for taking our baby, they can't cut into my womb, the wombs mine-"

"Y/N, who do you think is sitting in the chair opposite mine." Kelly rose a brow, stopping you mid ramble before you could get yourself riled up for no reason.

Confused, you huffed but listened and turned your head to your left and what do you know, there sitting was none other than your husbands best friend with your six month old playing with his fingers on his lap.

"You have a baby?" You asked, your eyebrows shooting all the way up. "Since when was Sylvie pregnant?!"

Struggling but somehow managing to keep in his laugh, Kelly mocked glared at Matt who snickered. "That's our baby. The baby we made and was just talking about."

"My baby!" You said with the biggest smile. "I missed you baby boy."

Your son sent you a gummy smile, easily recognising your voice. He made random but very cute gurgling sounds mixed in with his giggles which made you smile even more.

"Don't you dare hurt my baby boy Matthew Casey." You said threateningly, glaring at your friend with squinted eyes. "I know where you live, where you work, sleep, and eat."

"We do a lot of those things together Y/N." Matt said, reminding you that you worked in the same firehouse as you and he was also your roommate at the loft.

You hummed nonchalantly, waving him off. "I'll still come for you Matthew."

"Copy that." Matt smiled, eyeing the time on his watch. "I gotta go, shift starts in ten and I need to drop off this little man with your sitter."

"Thanks man." Kelly said, helping gather up your son's nappy bag. "Be good alright? Don't be trouble." Kelly looked at your son seriously, giving him a quick kiss before they left.

"Aw, I miss them already." You pouted, looking at your husband longingly opening your arms wide open. "Come cuddle me please. I miss you too."

"I've always been here Y/N, and I'm not leaving any time soon." Kelly chuckled, sitting on the bed besides your legs. "I've taken time off to nurse you back to full health, remember?"

You hummed, not fully paying attention, simply gazing adoringly at your husbands incredibly handsome face. At the lack of an answer, Kelly laughed, brushing your hair back from your face so he could see your properly.

"Alright, budge up." Kelly gave in, watching you cautiously in case you hurt yourself as you moved.

"Your a firefighter, shouldn't you be able to fit into small spaces?" You asked very seriously but made room for him anyways. You wanted a proper answer but all your got was a small shake of his head and a hearty laugh from your man.

Settling against him, you rested your head against his chest, finding extreme comfort in the steady beats of his heart. His warmth enveloped you the second he gently wrapped his arms around you.

Pressing a kiss into your hair, Kelly listened to you hum contently as you relaxed in his embrace. Even on drugs, you always felt as though you were home with Kelly.

"Love you." You mumbled into his chest, your eyelids fluttering shut, completely wiped out despite barely moving and doing anything.

"Love you too." Kelly replied, watching you doze off and the only thing he could hear was the beeps of the monitors telling him you were alive and your barely audible snores.

#onechicago #one chicago x reader #chicago fire x reader #one chicago fic #chicago fire #kelly severide #kelly severide x reader #kelly severide x y/n #kelly severide fanfiction #oneshot

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douwatahima · 4 months

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Oooookay. So I finished my seventh watch through of season 2 yesterday and I finally feel equipped to give my personal ranking of all 18 OFMD episodes. No one asked for this but here it is lol. Also I gave them all a score out of ten and tiered them all by said score because I'm very normal. LET'S GO.

6/10 - These Are Kinda Meh

18. 1x02: A Damned Man - To me, this is the most forgettable episode of the whole show. I mean, it's not awful or anything (it's still OFMD), but I have literally nothing to say about it. It's just kinda there.

17. 2x06: Calypso's Birthday - There's things in this episode I like (everything with Ned Lowe is good imo), but the whole party sequence, which takes up about half the episode, feels so empty to me. At first it didn't bother me that much, but then Samba revealed what the original plan was and knowing that at one point this episode had a plot has made the incredible lack of one we got soooo much more noticeable.

16. 1x03: The Gentleman Pirate - Introduction of Spanish Jackie, Magic Man, Ed and Stede meeting for the first time, there's definitely good stuff here. However, it gets sooooooooo much better than this.

7/10 - Good and Fun, Just Not My Fave

15. 2x07: Man on Fire - There is so much in this episode I like. Ed and Stede having breakfast in bed makes me feel insane. Stede and Zheng fighting ruled so hard. FRENCHIE SCHEMEING WITH THE CREW!!! The biggest thing is that there's so much in this episode that nothing really gets room to breathe. With like…five more minutes this episode could've been peak.

14. 1x06: The Art of Fuckery - This falls under the category of "episodes that are good, but there are others I like way more". The bathtub scene is of course peak, but in a season with some really incredible stuff this episode doesn't particularly stick out to me.

13. 2x04: Fun and Games - Same as the previous episode. I love the whole "Seabird" sequence, Ed and Stede's little heart to heart, and of course Anne and Mary's everything, but there are so many more episodes I love way more.

8/10 - I'm Incredibly Fond of These

12. 1x07: This is Happening - Fun fact I originally had this in the last category but then I remembered the co-captains scene and I knew I had to bump it up lmao. There's soooo much peak OFMD in here. The snake scene! Lucius calling Ed out!!! The previously mentioned co-captains scene!!!!! The only reason this isn't higher is because around my…fifteenth rewatch I found myself kinda getting bored with the Jim's nana subplot (sorry Jim).

11. 1x01: Pilot - OHHHHH I AM SO FOND OF THE PILOT. There's definitely some clunkiness in this episode imo (it is the first one after all), but the feeling I get when I boot up this episode is unparalleled. Frenchie starts singing and my heart soars. Also the entire "High on a Rocky Ledge" sequence is beautiful even all these months later.

10. 1x08: We Gull Way Back - 90% of my love for this episode is that I find Will Arnett very funny. This episode also gave us "The Chain" sequence including the foot touch heard around the world. ALSO ROOM PEOPLE!!! I love this one.

09. 2x01: Impossible Birds - The biggest fault of this episode is that it premiered alongside two of the best episodes of OFMD ever and this one slightly pales in comparison. That being said, it's a very strong season opener. Also, I am personally obsessed with the "Strawberry Letter 23" sequence. AND THE CAKE TOPPERS I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT THE CAKE TOPPERS!!!!!

08. 1x04: Discomfort in a Married State - I AM SOOOOOO FOND OF THIS ONE. The way the first half of the episode parallels Ed/Izzy and Stede/Mary only to spend the second half juxtaposing those two relationships against Ed/Stede? Masterful. The way Ed and Stede's relationship develops so naturally? Beautiful. THE LIGHTHOUSE SCENE? INCREDIBLE. WHAT AN EPISODE!

9/10 - I'm Genuinely Mad These Didn't Make Top 5

07. 2x05: The Curse of the Seafaring Life - The way this episode had me giggling and kicking my feet in real life after I first saw it. There's nothing not to like here. Ed and Fang fishing, Lucius and Pete getting engaged, THE SUIT…all incredible. Not to mention we got "you wear fine things well" version 2.0 with the best kiss in the whole show!

06. 1x05: The Best Revenge is Dressing Well - I love everything about this one. Ed and Stede at the fancy party, Lucius kicking Izzy's ass with the power of polyamory, Frenchie and Olu scamming racists…when I think of quintessential OFMD, this is the episode I think of. And of course the original version of "you wear fine things well" lives within my very soul.

10/10 - I Feel Mentally Ill About These Ones

05. 2x02: Red Flags - To start off, I really liked getting Lucius back and his whole subplot with Stede was really really great. Now that that point's out of the way HOLY SHIT EVERYTHING WITH ED IN THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. THE SCENE BETWEEN ED AND IZZY IS LITERALLY GOD TIER. ED PAINTED THE BRIDE TO LOOK LIKE HIMSELF AND I STILL HAVEN'T RECOVERED. "RUN FROM ME"? LIKE...IN GENERAL??? CRAZY. AND THEN ED SAYING "FINALLY" WHEN HE GETS THE CREW TO KILL HIM? INSANE. THEY WERE INSANE FOR THIS.

04. 1x09: Act of Grace - I mean, listen. I've talked about this a lot but it bears repeating. Staying up until 2am to watch this episode when it premiered and seeing Ed and Stede ACTUALLY KISS changed me as a person. I am different because I experienced that. Not to mention the rest of this episode is peak. Ed calling for the act of grace, the crew voting Olu as captain, the entire "Perfect Day" sequence, just incredible all around.

03. 2x08: Mermen - God this show can do a good finale. I will never stop being bowled over by how much I love this one. The "Moscow" scene? Sexy as hell. Ed and Stede reuniting and Ed telling Stede he loves him? I've watched it three thousand times. THE LETTER? THEY WROTE THEIR NAMES ON EACH OTHER IN PERMANENT INK!!! Also, even though it's highly controversial to say, I thought Izzy's death scene was very very good. Not to mention the entire last few minutes set to "The Times They Are A-Changin'" makes me feel so incredibly soft. I love OFMD soooooo much.

02. 2x03: The Innkeeper - Listen. If this whole episode sucked but it still included the mermaid scene I would still have it this high. That being said, this whole episode is sooooo incredibly good. The opening sequence with Zheng manipulating the rival captain is so well done. Ed in the gravy basket is crazy from beginning to end. Stede plotting to get the crew to safety is peak Stede and I love it. And somehow, after all of that, the episode also ends with one of the most incredible sequences I have ever seen. Watching a man who thought he was fundamentally unlovable get brought back to life because of how much he's loved while "This Woman's Work" plays in the background will follow me forever. Just…some of the most beautiful shit ever put to film.

1000/10 - THE GOAT NO OTHER NEED APPLY

01. 1x10: Wherever You Go, There You Are - I AM SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE EPISODES OF TELEVISION OF ALL TIME. The way Ed and Stede's plots through this episode are juxtaposed against each other makes me feel feral. The way that Stede is so out of place and closed off from his family while Ed is actively healing and bonding with the crew ONLY FOR THESE TWO PLOTS TO FLIP WHEN THEY EACH TALK TO THE PERSON WHO REPRESENTED A NONFUNCTIONING RELATIONSHIP TO THEM ALL THE WAY BACK IN EPISODE FOUR! THE WAY MARY AND STEDE GETTING TO TALK AND BE HONEST AND LET EACH OTHER GO ALLOWS STEDE TO FINALLY GROW AND BE HAPPY WHILE IZZY HANGING ON TO THAT TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL OF HIS MIGHT AND NOT LETTING ED GROW AND CHANGE WITHOUT HIM FORCES ED BACK INTO THE PITS OF DESPAIR!!! The entire "Avalanche" sequence breaks my heart in the absolute best way and seeing Ed do all this terrible shit with no more spark left in his usually super expressive eyes hurts so good! And then, of course, there's my favourite part of all. Seeing Stede, a man who has been so lost and unmoored, row out into the ocean looking more settled than we've ever seen him while Mary says he's now free and that freedom coming completely from Stede realizing he's in love with another man is something that feels so personally assuring to me I can't even fully express it. The entire "Miles from Nowhere" sequence is incredible to me (and to this day that song is thee OFMD needle drop in my opinion) but that part especially is my favourite thing this show has ever given me hands down. Thank you David Jenkins for my life.

#tv: our flag means death #ofmd #long post #saw people doing this weeks ago and wanted to join in but i wanted to do a couple more watch throughs first so you're getting this now lol

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alostlittleriverlotus · 1 year

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so i gained weight. Really fast, lots of weight. Few years back. It was concerning because it just kept going up despite literally nothing changing. And with my intrusive thoughts and medical anxiety, I wanted to talk to a doctor.

literally every single one except my obgyn is obsessed with me dieting and being more fit for weight loss. It's brought up in every appointment and it's so fucking triggering to me.

I'm happy at my weight. It's stabilized. And it's not something I can easily control. I'm still not 100% sure on a cause, but I'm looking at PCOS and hormonal shit. And literally doctors treat me like I'm some unhealthy filthy creature. Pain I have is written off as because of my big boobs or because I'm overweight. Even tho that pain is actually why I'm not more active. That and trauma and executive dysfunction.

I feel like I have to justify my existence and I literally feel so out of control and awful cause I can't stand up for myself, especially with my mom there.

1: For where my weight it, it is a good balance of muscle and fat. I'm still actually quite strong which is something I'm proud of personally because I enjoy feeling my muscles work. I actually enjoy exercise for a lot of trauma/neurodivergent reasons.

2: People don't owe you perfect health and not everyone can be fucking healthy. I am healthy for what I can be. So I'm happy where I am. Am I exactly healthy for what I could potentially be? No. But I also don't have access to a lot of things and have issues out of my control. Either way, I shouldn't have to be made to feel like such shit because I don't exercise enough or have a few bad food habits. I literally feared getting fat and had an ED. Not to mention the reason behind that which is literally covert s*xual trauma from a very young age. Why do I have to literally pour out everything about myself that is personal and overwhelming to be believed? I can barely open up to my friends and girlfriend. I am happy being fat and being where I am. I don't need to be physically fit or perfect.

3: Even my mother constantly brings up my weight. Even tho since childhood I have mentioned knee pain, back pain, leg pain. Now it's gotten to a point where it's bad enough to keep me bed ridden. I have gone up to my mother and been like "I NEED to see a doctor for this. It is BAD and I am SUFFERING." But no. I just need to walk more, get outside more, and control my weight. She loves to say I never told her or she never knew how bad it was even tho A: you should remember this kinda shit, it's important, I'm your CHILD and B: I have flat out told you I am in misery because of it. But no. I live with a mother that doesn't give a shit about me.

4: Some of my issues are caused by me just not knowing. I'm autistic, I'm traumatized, I have no guage of what is normal or not. I just learned about my covert s*xual trauma after so many fucking years. I had worked through all my other trauma, but that I didn't even know existed because I just assumed shit was normal! I literally cannot tell everything about myself. I don't have a guage for when something is concerning. It's like how I can never fully tell what my emotions are or even when I'm hungry. I am incredibly self aware, but I have a problem with being able to tell things about myself from me being autistic as well as traumatized.

I just. I fucking hate doctors. I brought up my weight because the weight gain was sudden and literally nothing changed. But it's blamed on the pandemic even tho it start two years before it! It's blamed on me not being active and not eating right even tho I eat far better and manage a lot of stuff! I don't even overeat! I have to literally fucking justify it to myself because of how doctors make me feel!

I'm literally so fucking sick of doctors and the medical field! They make me feel judged and awful and hate myself!!! I hate that I have no control, I hate that I can't stand up for myself, and I hate them so much! Everyone always says doctors know best cause they studied, then why are doctors so fucking clueless and don't listen to me?! I've discovered more on my own entirely thanks to other disabled folks! Hell, me working through my trauma is thanks to OTHER TRAUMATIZED FOLKS. Doctors know better? But they don't fucking care. I hate this system, I hate these doctors, I hate that I'm not taken seriously. Ugh!!!

Not to mention that's just discussing all my physical issues. Now add how my fucking personality and mental disorders and all my fucking trauma add on to that! Yeah, it's motherfucking hell to be mentally disabled and physically disabled and have literally nothing at all. I literally am just so fucking mad!!!

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yukikorogashi · 1 year

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(shhh this is anon) BECKYYYYY TwT prances on in here with some tea and cookies for the sweetest bestie and the gal who deserves the world! ;3; I know I tell you this so much, but I will never tire of it, so I'm here again to remind you that you're hands-down one of the nicest, most talented, most INSPIRATIONAL people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting ;u; You never cease to amaze me with your exceptional skills in graphic design, art, writing... legit, basically ANYTHING you put your hands in, your efforts and the results are so phenomenal, and I will never not admire how you maintain modesty and continue to be SUCH a friendly sunflower of a person all the while! <3 You should be so proud of how far you've come and how hard you work always, Becky! But please remember to be kind to yourself and take those breaks that you desperately need, okay? <3 <3 Sending you all the love, always!

ANONYMOUSLY TELL ME YOUR HONEST OPINION ABOUT ME. I CAN’T REPLY, JUST PUBLISH.

POINTS @ YOU... 🥺❤️ IT'S THE BESTIE... IT'S BEST GORL SAMMY... THE BESTEST BESTIE BOO TO EVER BEST-- aaeuhaauwhae yeah I'm starting not to make anymore sense so just... rests my head against you like I always do now while I enjoy these lovely tea and cookies that you have also come to spoil me with!!! 😭❤️💕

But Lord help me because I keep switching between thanking you for once more spoiling me with all this support, kindness and love-- and apologising to you for the fact that I'm likely just going to repeat myself by loving you back awuehauwe! After all, it's just a never ending cycle of love between us, huh? With us both always being so ready to scream at one another like AAAAAAAAA ❤️💕❤️!!! No matter what the reason might be, no matter how we are feeling about something else... I just love that we both will always ALWAYS get to express how much we love each other, no matter auehawuhe. OTL ... S-So yeah, I will inevitably love on you again, the next time we get to chat, so I will TRY to keep this response short-- even though that just feels like a crime to me because GDI this amazing girl here needs to be told each and every time just how wonderful and loved she herself is! 🥺 ❤️💕

BUT ANYWAY--

I don't know what I did to deserve a bestie as amazing as you. To know someone as incredible as you. and for her to think this highly of me like AAAAAAA??? I still sometimes can't help but look back over my shoulder, to check and see if there's someone behind me. WHICH DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IN THIS CASE BUT Y'KNOW AWUehwauH!!! Honestly, you-- without fail-- will always inspire and leave me in awe-- just from your existence alone.

You are not just a crazy talented writer and artist (As I mentioned many times before you, you are in my top 3 favourite writers, and if Danganronpa is real, you would totally be enrolled as one of the Ultimate Writers for the academy AEHAW!!! And gaaaah your art, your art will forever be one of the cutest, prettiest things- and honestly I cannot get enough of see your drawings too!!! So I count my blessings when I actually get the chance to see any of it!)... but also one of the strongest human beings I know. You always put others before yourself, and it blows me away just how much you do for others... including me. ;;

I can't thank you enough, for all that you do, truly. You have done, so, so much for me, when honestly-- I also just kinda... wanna gently sit you down and make sure you get a much needed rest and break auehawuhe (EVEN THOUGH I know you will be like "I'm fine! uwu" Like-- SHHHHH AWEHAWH!!!) !!! To see you happy, to see you excited, always makes my day. And I can't tell you how much joy it brings me just to see that from you. To just see you. 💕 To just see a joyous hello from you, and better yet-- share absolutely anything with me. Be it about anything RP related, or just what's going on in your own life!

I'm sending you so, so much love back your way, m'darling. Always and forever, okay? Me pretty much flinging every bit of love I can at you, even before some are able to fully form into ripe apple hearts AUEHAUWHE!!!

@falsiliar ❤️💕

#(Terrible idea-- answering this when I'm medicated again-- but hello ilusm)#falsiliar #❄️ THE SWEETEST THING ❄️#❄️ QUEUE ❄️

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james-stark-the-writer · 1 year

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my thoughts on Netflix's Wednesday

alright so i've been hearing other people's thoughts on the show to see if i missed anything or if someone understood how i felt and yeah these two videos by Mina Le and film fatales pretty much get the basics of why i can't stand the show as an adaptation of the Addams Family or even as its own show.

youtube

okay now my thoughts: if you haven't read them yet and would like to, feel free to go read my thoughts on most of the important moments in all the episodes in detail as I experienced them here. the tags are where the juiciest stuff is so make sure to read those actually. anyway, all my previous critiques that I made literally on episode 1 still stand now having finished the show, this is absolutely a horrendously (derogatory) Tim Burton project, it's very much an encapsulation of his worst tendencies to me, a lot of the show is very much "oh we're so edgy and nobody gets me and we're so oppressed because we like being on our own". Tim. you are 64 years old. I think it may be time for a new shtick. teens deserve better than this.

anyway, yeah, the show has a needlessly complex mystery with very predictable endings and just generally bad writing overall and it's just not really that fun? the only real standouts were the dance scene obviously and most of episode 7 like I said. like, episode 7 was genuinely really enjoyable although some of it is just because it's so refreshing after the slop of the rest of the show. it feels like the only episode where the show gets close to actually understanding the Addams Family and like someone actually cared about how things sounded like the dialogue and pacing and everything about it is so much better than anything in the previous episodes. episode 5 is particularly egregious because we literally started the season with Wednesday lamenting how she couldn't successfully kill someone. she (and the rest of the Addams Family) would not give a single flying fuck about Gomez killing anyone. fuck, if they cared, it would be a thing to boast about like Morticia would go: "remember that time Gomez killed a man and saved me?" and vigorously make out with Gomez immediately. the very premise of the episode is flawed. this is an extremely middling mystery show attached to the Addams Family name for mostly marketing purposes. none of it feels like there was any reason for it to feature these characters. also like the Addams' also work best as a family and when contrasted against other "normal" people so separating Wednesday AND throwing her into a school full of freaks who for some reason think SHE'S too freaky???? a highly misguided choice to say the least.

this should have either been a 4-5 episode miniseries or a ~3 hour movie. I would honestly let them keep the fluff too with the movie so you know it's incredibly bloated on a fundamental level. the mystery does not deserve more than a 4-5 hour runtime and the show is absolutely bloated for what it actually does have to offer. Jenna is the highlight of this but also?? every single other actor, with the rare exception of the actors for Pugsley and Fester (and kinda Gomez too like I liked Luis but his material really dragged his performance down), was just awful like they really did not understand how to deliver their lines (although some [most] of that is the writing). even Brienne of Tarth was like ??? not good?? like her material wasn't great, just like everyone else, but every line she delivered was basically the fucking same and she always delivered it with a smile except for a couple of scenes which made her performance really grating after a while. like none of it is completely terrible, most of it is serviceable but they are made so much worse bc Jenna is a goddamn star and fucking kills it in every single scene. she's always at 500% and doing her best even though the writing really does not give her much to work with.

anyway, if you're not a Jenna Ortega stan or really care about Danny Elfman scoring something, feel free to avoid Wednesday, you really won't be getting anything out of it other than bad writing and bad acting and a horrible adaptation of the Addams Family. truly it's not even funny!!!!!!! which is like the one thing anything attached to the Addams Family name should be!! literally only episode 7 had jokes that actually made me laugh. there's a few one-liners that aren't terrible (although most of them are elevated by Jenna's performance, obviously) but generally, most of her one-liners are incredibly predictable and boring and just so dry (negative). if i was dying and could only be saved by laughing at a joke and you put on any episode from this show besides episode 7, i would be dead within the first 2 minutes. they're that bad and boring and basic. genuinely just no real creativity with most of these.

Wednesday is a 5/10 show with only one actually good episode that is entirely carried on the performance of Jenna Ortega and a genuinely really fun Danny Elfman score. I can't say I entirely regret watching it because Jenna is just so damn talented and I'm glad she and Danny got their coin but like wow that was like a waste of my time for the most part. just so not fun and tired and boring and predictable and needlessly edgy with very questionably mixed metaphors about oppressed groups and annoying fucking dialogue clearly written to be posted in gifsets or screenshots. every time the show mentions the patriarchy or how "outcasts" are oppressed, a part of my soul dies. that's on your conscience, Tim.

truly, the only real fun I had with the show was the dance scene, episode 7, Jenna's performance, and the score. everything else ranged from functional to subpar to horrible. 5/10 raised to a 7/10 bc of these things, would not recommend. you could do so many better things with 8 hours of your time.

frankly, if you're really itching for an experience that's similar and like actually good and incredibly funny and innovative and clever, you could watch Scream Queens! it's so damn good! even S02!! or you could watch the entirety of S04 of Riverdale and get a better experience and a better mystery with the same creepy academia vibes and with like actually redeeming qualities to boot. fuck, if you can't stand the camp of Riverdale and Scream Queens, go watch the first season of The Magicians, it's also got a really well-done mystery and it takes itself seriously AND it's just a fantastic show that's gorgeously written and severely underrated. or go watch The Order, which this is so desperately trying to emulate in so many ways. although The Order will take a few episodes to adjust to bc those first 3-4 episodes are not great, especially in terms of the writing. hell if you're desperate for deadpan/macabre humor, you could just go watch the original Addams Family show or the two 90s movies.

the point is: there are so many better things you could be watching instead. if you're not a Jenna stan I truly cannot recommend watching this show lol. it's like genuinely not good.

#james talks #james reviews things #james reviews stuff #wednesday #netflix wednesday #yes this is a repost with a few edits bc my original post was too long to read through to get my actual thoughts #Youtube

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gamora-borealis · 11 months

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I thought I was the only one who wanted a compilation video of all the guardians appearances minus Gamora's death scene. I always have to fast forward past her death and then I pause and replay the scene where Peter hits Thanos in the face. Thanos getting wacked in the face repeatedly is incredibly soothing to me. I'm not sure I'll ever look back on parts of Infinity War with fondness. The movie started out as if I was eating one of the best meals I've ever had and then suddenly someone peed on my plate, dumbed it on my head and stabbed me with my fork. My whole appetite was just gone. I'd pay good money for one long gotg movie with the murder and abuser is so sad bits edited out.

Yess I feel this so much 😭. I remember that I was trying not to spoil myself before going into IW but inevitably caved and checked some document or something of spoilers I saw being shared on twitter and I remember being like... this has to be fake. Why would Gamora die??? And I was going to see the earliest possible showtime in my area so low-key I was like maybe this person is lying. But at the very least the idea had been introduced so by the time they finally got to it I was like oh it's happening. And I kinda could tell because they were giving us such good Starmora content too. But I still couldn't believe how bad it was. I had been struggling really bad with my depression at the time and had just started taking antidepressants but wasn't used to them yet and I literally went home and cried and cried and my mom was like, really concerned about me actually. The Guardians, especially Gamora, had recently become my really strong comfort characters so it was such a hard shock. I can't imagine having zero warning going in. And the image of it is still seared in my brain too 😕. I remember being so mad when people were making fun of Peter afterwards for fucking stuff up and I'm like... okay but that's how I feel too!!! And that part felt pretty genuine to me!!! And Doctor Strange said it was the only way it could have happened!!!

No and then Endgame killing Nat in the exact same way was so awful too. I really liked Nat when I first saw the Avengers when I was like 12 because I was like "heck yeah girlboss," and to kill her in the same exact traumatic way, that for any character is just like, disgustingly brutal (especially with what they show), was like what the fuck is wrong with these writers!!! And like I was mostly expecting a resurrection of Gamora and to see them be like, no, and we're gonna do a repeat with Nat was just sooo disappointing. Especially when they were the ones making up the logic of how this shit all works!

I remember during the height of the pandemic (I think, who knows what time is anymore lol) I went back and rewatched the parts with the Guardians and was like, this stuff is actually pretty good. Like especially the stuff with Gamora and Nebula in Endgame was actually pretty cool too. But it really was unsatisfying considering to have it all end with Gamora being like "who is Peter" and them trying to make it funny. Because the situation was not funny to me!!! I mean maybe with better timing it would have been funny idk. But maybe watching it without her death makes it a little better, ya know?

But god the way everyone was like not even sure if Gamora was still around afterwards because they didn't even show her going off on her own... They absolutely should have done at least that. At the very least, the ending being so dumb with all the Captain America time travel stuff was like, yeah okay I can officially say these movies are a literal joke. And upon rewatch they really made Thanos so overpowered for no reason too!!! Don't even get me started lol.

I definitely feel much better about all of this after Vol. 3 because even though they didn't end up like, restoring her memories/old self or something through the soul world like I wanted, I think it was still handled pretty well. And I can see now that James Gunn probably saw Gamora's arc as over with Vol. 2 because in this movie she went in such a different direction and he said in the first draft of Vol. 2 she was going to sacrifice herself. So at the very least I don't feel as robbed or anything about where her story was going, except wanting more focus on her in Vol. 3 because I love her and of course I wanted them to more fully address her and what happened. And maybe more of her was scrapped for time with everything going on, but at the very least it's easy to imagine what was left out (with her but also how the Guardians were dealing with her being gone). My totally alternate version of what really should have happened in Vol. 3 will always live in my head though, because I spent like, four years thinking about it lol.

I'm still salty that she ever died though of course, don't get me wrong. Especially in the way that she did. Maybe if it was like, oh she sacrificed herself it would have felt better (which is why I would just cut her death scene at the part where she tries to if I were to include it at all in said compilation). Luckily I'm coping with it better now.

I really want to rewatch Vol. 1 & 2 before going to see Vol. 3 again, and that's why I especially want a version of IW/EG with all the other shit cut out lol. It's what we deserve!!!

#guardians of the galaxy #gotg #gamora #gotg vol 3 #long rant had to get it out

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david-box · 1 year

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Kill list liveblog I wrote in my notes app time!!

His sunglasses are off kilter and he looks so wrong the way his suit is buttoned up, likes it too big for him. I don't think he feels as on top of the world as he theoretically is. Right back to ep.1. Good music. Good shit with them all stopping in place but bad choice Ken lol. Shall we maybe not do the bad version lol. He hasn't been there for a while goddamn. Ahahhaha Kendall thought Roman was kidding about Shiv yesterday apparently lol. I think he's ahead of you Ken.

Mattson wants a party. B roll list lol. Interesting how Kendall thinks about this - how does it look if we say no. Also I just noticed the Shiv is the only one really wearing clothes that fit in the intro. I wonder why she wasn't on the email list minus the obvious. I just realized we have a merger just like season ... 1... I should remember which season lol. Greg and Tom back in their OG type clothes too except ~~fancier~~ also weird lowbrow joke from Tom this season. Greg. Are you going. Tom is having fun telling Greg something so he'll embarrass himself in a moment lol wtf is a Guggenheim. Toms hair is wild. I fucking love the way Roman sits

What's with the socks. Roman is suspicious also literally do not understand what the fuck Shiv is talking about, also, Kendall, buddy, that is the worst way to cover yourself. The plane is remarkable dark. Why did Roman shut it down? Aw, how nice. We'll kill Tom for you. HES RIGHT THERE ahhhh. Incredibly meritocratic?? I don't think tech billionaires are soft Gerri.

SNAKES ON A PLANE. IM TIRES KD THESE MORHERFUCKING ANAKES ON A PLANE LOL. Roman badly hiding his anxiety. Kendall is worst. Why is Shiv calm? Wild. Hate to ask now that I paused for a second but a wtf kinda resort has long ass black turtlenecks and brown aprons like some kind of Scandinavian themed cult film/dystopian novel. I think class disparity is going to be a theme today - all the underlings are worried about their jobs en route to a Norwegian resort. These people are dressed much more casually than the Rocyos are. Roman dressed better. Nice cardigan looking thing. I love the sibling dynamic also bro it's Norway wear boots.

Up top is a MOUNTAIN. WHAT THE FUCK. Magic appearing clipboard he probably shouldn't have wrote on cus if we know Ken we know he can't read a room to save his life. "I just had to cancel out a room full of working class whites in Cleveland." Connor can't throw his weight around as the SON??? Why did he put two on bugos plate. Who even is this guy. I wonder if they were supposed to weight for their hosts. Katarina's counterpoint is off put. "Tom of Siobhan" lol yes. Love that. "I'm not really a part of this whole situation" bro wrong move. They are so offput quit talking businesses lolll. Nearly got a bronze. What the fuck. What the fuck. Hugo. Buddy. Hugo. Hugo. Hugo.

Where's Mattson's fun little accent? Aw. And he's a conservative <3 good for him. Shiv probably the best prepped for this one next to Roman. Shiv is right that was a bluff, he's scared lol. They feel very short. No sorrys for Lukas :-( lol. Both of y'all need to lean back. This is gorgeous. Anajhahhahahaha lolllll. 187 is fucking good Kendall... You Guys Don't Need ATN. Mattson is remarkably fucking nervous huh. Why do they want ATN? They can't be honest :-( ouch. It would be REALLY good for them to just chill with him. 187 is good. I don't think they realize hey hold on there's a spy lol. Anyhow I don't think they realize how not selling ATN will affect you know those other people that exist. Shiv is reasonable. Fuck Dad dude. Either you carve it out based on Dad keeping ATN OR you say it's impossible to know so you can't ingore it either Kendall, you dumb motherfucker. Y'all are talking shit right in front of the cook. Where are you getting this info Greg??? I think Greg is lying. I don't think Greg wants to be a pawn sacrifice dude. Dude, just relax. He is so tall. The Quad. Tom could say hi before sitting down. That is such a wild ass response Tom what the fuck. Bruh. Bro. Kendall has zero chill and Mattsons like eyo. Your ball motherfucker. Lol.

I'm looking up the roast real quick but I find it interesting Mattson knows Greg is out of place by sight meaning he has the whole group memorized. Inbred Hapsburg giant is funny. I wonder if Tom knows Swedish. If y'all just said "were sentimental" this would fix it so easy. The graph *is* horrible. Trusted brand lol. Kendall is delusional. At or no deal. Roman looking at Kendall when he says he'd hate to make it not work also FUck Yes a sauna hell yeahhhhh. Karl and Frank not even giving a shit.

Forgot her name already but interesting character . Also Interestinf he goes for Shiv. I thinkkkk heesas gonnnnnnaaa tallllkkk to his ppl I mean. Roman. Take the money and run. Kendall. What the fuck is wrong with you. Other people have their skin in the gun. You're not good at running the ship. Good. Destroy it. Background character. Dude. Uggggghh why. Kendall is looking for dopamine on a giant wonderful Norwegian mountain. Roman :-(. I can see how the family dynamic worked.

Is Mattson tryna fuck Shiv? Bro. What are you smoking. I don't think Mattson is mentally stable. I think he would take an honest conversation over sex any day of the week. 500 frozen blood? Bruh that's a whole blood unit. How is that funny???? That is just harassment. Bruh. That's a clusterfuck. Shiv being honest!!! Wow. Shiv is good at this. Stop sending people your blood. Good time. You guys talk loud as hell. Greg is the world's most gullible person. Three hour what?? I think she wants the deal. Oh my god he's making them watch the movie?? Kendall is a shit liar. Shiv isn't using Emma as bait. What the fuck is happening here domestic abuse 360 degree film what the fuck BADNACLE MEAT ahahaha. Why are they negging eachother. Why'd it work on Tom. "He's boring, but he's very conventionally attractive". Lol

Mattson is not gullible. I hope. More value and also this sucks don't buy it <3. You're dad was a prick Roman. Yep. Go around Mattson. He's just pissing. Good point that he needed it fast like WHY does he need it fast. That was brave as shit when Mattsons got his dick out on top of a mountain. What a wild move of bravery from Roman at the worst time in the world. Now you don't get to buy PM. I think he is going around them? Nope. Rip. Revised offer. 192? Jesus. Fuck. 192. That's like 48 billion. Now we sell right. Please. Like quit edging me here right. They literally don't even need the money. Kendall is reconsidering. Does Tom own stock. I'll fire Cyd for you <3 yesss TomShiv forever failwives for life. Karl's like hell yeah I get to leave. Shiv can fucking dance lol

#me #text #succession season 4 #succession spoilers #long post

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everythinghaschanged234 · 2 years

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i'm so glad to hear that, baby. i don't like thinking of u in the hospital. i want to know ur home, in our bed. speaking of... u must be feeling better if ur thinking about sex. 😏 just teasing, my sweet... of course i remember. i wanted it to be romantic and special. but i think every time we make love is magical...

Oh my love my love. I was so sick baby i was crying hysterically everyday and just lying in bed miserable. Yes i am feeling better because all i can think about is you in my bed OUR bed. We got a new bed frame by the way. Everytime we make love it's special even when it's backstage between songs and sets. For some stupid reason I watched the music video you did with Camila and it ignited my jealousy again. I suppose i'm kinda stupid for that but you looked incredibly sexy in that video. I wish i could have been there instead of her. I'm in my room in the hospital eating hummus watching the computer staring at a picture of you right now shirtless in our bed. Every moment with you is magic my love. I had a test today to see how my tummy empties. They gave me eggs with dye in it (you can't see the dye or taste it) and they take photos of your tummy every hour. I got some sleep while i was down there but i was down there an awful long time. I waited even longer to eat because i didn't want hospital food so someone got me food from the cafe. When are you coming home to me my love?

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karasunology · 4 years

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❝WHAT ARE THEIR LOVE LANGUAGES?❞

◯ how they show their love to you | featuring . . . karasuno team.

➤ KARASUNO.

#DAICHI → the type of boyfriend that'll never let you walk closer to the busier side of the street ― he'll always be the one next to the busy street, walking side by side with you in the sidewalk while his arms are around you, keeping you close by so he won't lose you especially whenever there's a large crowd.

#SUGAWARA → never hesitates to take care and dote on you. whenever you're sick, he's always there by your side and never leaves you ― makes you hot porraige, constantly reminds you about the specific time you need to drink your medicine EVEN THOUGH he already has a reminder set on his phone for it ( ― just in case, he thinks. ) never wants to make you feel worse than you already are so he just lets you rests for the rest of the day and if you have class? he'll write notes for you so you wouldn't miss a thing.

#ASAHI → NEVER i mean NEVER raises his voice at you even if both of you guys are angry or fighting at each other ― he cares a lot about you and he if he needs to correct you on something, he knows that if he wants to drive a point, he doeesn't need to raise his voice to do so. what a softie.

#KIYOKO → she's a bit shy with showing her affections, but she tries her utmost best to convey her love to you ― one of them being if you ever needed her support with ANYTHING honestly, she'll always make it known to you that you have her full support and that she's always right beside you through everything.

#TANAKA → YOUR PERSONAL HYPEMAN !!! very vocal with his praises ― if he thinks you look absolutely smoking HOT right now with your outfit, he'll gladly always make sure you are aware of that and what you are doing to him. if you play a sport? you BET that he's your personal cheerleader, fuck gender roles <33

#NOYA → he's your pillar in life. not saying that you're dependent to him to the extent that it's unhealthy and you can't live without him ― but in a way that he'll never leave you in your most hardest times, the rock you could always hold onto in the midst of the raging ocean's waves crashing down at you at an incredible force. he's a dependable person in and out of the court and it shows through little ways he supports you and lifts you up in real life because he's your personal guardian diety.

#ENNOSHITA → fights with him never lasts long, that's just how it is ― even with the bigger fights it'll never lasts long, and he would NEVER even think of doing the silent treatment with you, he just can't. whenever he comes into terms with the problem and why it haopened, he'll come back to you and talk it out with you then cuddle you because he feels GOD AWFUL whenever fights occure.

#KINOSHITA → words of affirmations is his best friend. and not just with you but with the both of you, he likes cheering you on and give you support and will always be by your side. never pokes fun at your insecurities and rather eases them and does his best to make you feel anything but insecure.

#HINATA → buys you small gifts and souvenirs especially when he's out of the country for volleyball matches etc. and his reasons would be that when he looks at them, they reminded him of you ― so that's why you have tons of cute gifts and souvenirs when he comes back that you prolly don't know where to put but you don't care because he took the time to buy them for you which you find so adorable.

#KAGEYAMA → bought you milk everyday ever since y'all became an item, sometimes dropping them in your bag ( especially when you had a bad day, which makes it a bit better. ) or in your locker and bonus if he adds a scribbled note with just a cute yet somehow KINDA stiff happy face ― which oddly enough, reminds you of him; stiff yet cute, and no other context in it ― just a happy face but it conveys everything that he wanted to say to you. and probably adds a "have a good day." when he knows practice will be a bit more later than usual and may or may not be able to walk home from school with you.

#YAMAGUCHI → remembers the little things; your favourite food, your favourite sweaters and hoodies you like to borrow from him so he could purposesly bring them for you to use ― and not just your favourite things but every little fact about you that he sometimes just randomly brings up, shoking you because wow, he still remembers that? so whenever you guys go on a date to a cafe y'all have already been to, he doesn't need to know what you wanna order since, he already memorized your order from before. it's just the intimacy of knowing you know?

#TSUKISHIMA → has a playlist of the songs you love that he sometimes like to listen to, especially when he misses you and you're away from him. makes you a playlist of song recommendations and songs that he likes that he thinks you might also vibe with. and one time he casually hums one of your favourite songs, making you look at him eyes kinda wide just for him to look at you in a deadpan express and ask you if anything was wrong. bonus !! he bought earphones so that both of you could listen at one of your guys' playlist together <33

#YACHI → i feel like she loves photography as it is a branch of art, so she loves taking stolen cute picures of you and making it her wallpaper ― she also loves sketching you, like her sketchbook and artbook is full of sketches of your face ― you're her muse. and whenever she's having an art block? she'll look at her best sketches of you and recreates them ― lines all full of both her passion for art and you.

[ ♡ ] a lot of people requested for some hq boys' love language so why not make one for the whole team? wrote this all yesterday and in no way or form was edited, because that's just me, i never edit my works smh. it's been a few days since i didn't post a content, so have some fluff with the karasuno team !! <3 this is also a very late thank you for 1.1k AHAHAHA i love you guys.

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cinnamonest · 3 years

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I got these and more asks regarding the post from last night so I wanted to elaborate and explain some things, and also make another point about the anniversary thing and clarify for anyone confused. After this I promise I'll shut up about this lol sorry

1) yeah please do NOT come after the VAs for any of this, not even the actual developer side either is at fault. This is largely an issue with the PR and marketing and higher up people. It's really awful that some people are harassing people who have no responsibility here. And thanks to the original asker's reply, I feel like I'm really bad at conveying my thoughts so I tend to overexplain lol, but thanks that means a lot.

2) I have seen people confused on this so if you didn't already, you should know that this isn't just about the anniversary so much as the anniversary was a final straw. While Honkai has similar rewards/exchange for irl money as genshin, mihoyo itself has some of the worst in comparison to other gachas from other developers. Games like Arknights, Granblue, Azur Lane, Dragalia Lost, hell even a cutesy casual gacha app like LoveNikki have much better real money to game currency ratios, huge anniversaries where they give out tons of free shit, and much more generous systems (such as Arknights giving free 10 pulls with a lot of events/new characters/etc). All despite being smaller, less profitable games. There's major glaring issues with the game that have gone unresolved for a long time despite people asking over and over to change it. It's a combination of the rewards, general stuff, and mihoyo's refusal to solve certain issues for a long time that has people upset.

In any industry, any company is going to be held to the standards set by the mainstream industry, which is what is happening here. It is natural to hold a company to it's competitors for comparison and expect them to match standards, especially when the company that is lacking is the richer one and could easily meet the standards if they were willing to.

This is especially true for people who put money into the game. Due to the nature of gachas/online games, companies that produce these games are usually very adamant on rewarding players because whales/P2Ws, people who buy welkin and similar stuff, etc keep the game alive. When they do not match the standard of the industry, those people will feel unappreciated and go elsewhere eventually, which means they will not be able to afford much progress, then even F2Ps won't have content, and the game will burn out.

3) I probably should have clarified this last post but, I know review-bombing does seem like a kinda shitty tactic at first and I get that, but the reason people are doing that now is because mihoyo has completely ignored people complaining for months normally, and even now has started to censor and ban people, deleted critical posts, etc. Basically it's clear that mihoyo will just ban and censor criticism until people do something that actually forces them to listen, hence review bombing. Banning/censoring criticism is a really, really bad move for any company, historically speaking, it's insulting to players who keep the company afloat and results in losses. The review bombing + a lot of people uninstalled the app apparently + people who usually pay refusing to do so anymore, all of that hits them to where they can't afford to ignore it when people do it en masse. Because it will cost them money/players.

What people are kinda really upset about, even more than rewards itself, is just the silence and censorship on their end, which is more frustrating than the lack of rewards itself. I did have some sympathy for them up until they started censoring and deleting criticism on their site. At that point they're doing this to themselves by doing that.

4) Also, notably, this has worked with plenty of other game devs. You may remember the disaster that was Fallout 76. Bethesda also responded poorly at first, but spamming bad reviews and horrible coverage for Fallout 76 got Bethesda's attention, and they went the whole nine yards formally acknowledging the complaints and more or less apologizing to the whole world of players at E3 and even gave refunds, which is a very surprisingly humble thing for a company of their level of fame to do. The situation calmed down because people felt listened to, and while Fallout 76 was kinda a lost cause and didn't get fixed, the idea is that the refunds/open and honest communication restored the consumer base's relationship to Bethesda. That was a big blow, but Bethesda was willing to take that hit to maintain the sense of communication and mutual respect/value between players and devs.

In contrast, with mihoyo, what most people have been trying to beg/bargain for for an anniversary rewards is a free permanent banner 5 star, which would cost mihoyo essentially literally nothing.

So far they have responded by banning people for literal years on hoyolab, deleting posts, banning people from various social platforms etc, for criticism. Even putting whether or not that's ok aside, it's very unusual and not how game companies usually handle these things, and can only end badly for them.

Also mihoyo has had time to fix this -- it's not like Fallout 76 where they released the game and then the backlash came very suddenly and they had to scramble to prepare a response/plan and needed time. People have been complaining about these rewards for well over a week, so they could have easily fixed it by now if they had any intention of listening to people's complaints, especially considering the proposed fix of a single free permanent 5 star would be very simple and quick to implement.

5) also? it's extra unfortunate and really a marketing team issue bc they could have *profited* from giving more, if they opened rewards to new players as most gachas do. Genshin is incredibly popular right now, to the extent that a lot of people in the gaming/weeb sphere who don't play it, but still know of it, and even know a bit about it.

If you were someone who had never played genshin but had been considering downloading it for a long time, but just kept putting it off or forgetting, and heard "hey join now and you get free Diluc/Keqing," that would have convinced a lot of people to go ahead and join, and they would inevitably get sucked into the game and bring mhy profit. So it's a little strange imo that they chose not to do that, it would have been beneficial to them.

6) also, be aware that the glider we're now getting was supposed to be paid originally. Releasing it free now is damage control. It's also, well, a glider. Again, while it is pretty, it's paltry in comparison to the industry norm and does not have much use to most people.

Finally, criticizing all of this/the game/mihoyo does not mean people hate the game. I do see some people lashing out in defense of mihoyo and I get that bc they produce something we all really like. I really really do not want to see genshin become "that one game that was super popular for a year or so and then died" -- that's why people want improvements, because if improvements aren't made, that's where it's headed. What people are asking for right now is stuff that is very easily in mihoyo's capability and would not cost them much of anything. It would be one thing to ask them for something that would cut their profits or take time to develop, but that's not what's happening. People are asking for very little in the scope of their capabilities/the norm.

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angloie · 3 years

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Rivals. Nothing more. (1/2)

> Percy is annoyed on how Annabeth always was. Her passion to win, to suceed, to be better than him. He hates that. It's totally not hot, or whatever.

> Warnings: swearing and kinda (?) suggestive undertones, my writing

> Genre: fluff, mutual pinning, Percy having a huge fat crush on Annabeth.

You can find the second part here!

Percy wasn't very fond of smartasses who talked back.

I mean, who wouldn't? They were truly insufferable; acting like they knew everything and spat out facts here and there, all high and mighty.

Annabeth fit that description perfectly.

She's such a stuck up nerd; always beating his spot just opened place higher than him. When they spar, Percy can't help but feel a overwhelming urge pushing him to win. Annabeth struck back with the same passion, every strike, slash, push, thrust, holds her need for victory.

And when Percy does win after a long match? It feels amazing. The refreshing mood when you get exactly what you want- for once beating enemy number one. Annabeth shakes hands with him after and it infuriates him all over again. Why can't she feel more embarassed? Devestated? Shame? She walks away from the training arena calmly like she won over him.

Oh, Annabeth does feel embarassed. Devestated, too. But the look in Percy's eyes when she acts all stoic- seated stop her high horse- is simply electrifying. No better feeling than antagonizing your rivals, right?

They first meet at twelve. Both still young and insufferable, being the natural rivals they were. After all, their godly parents were two of the biggest rivals between one another: Athena and Posiedon.

Then they’re thirteen. Rivals, yes, but they can get along better now. Much better, in fact. Annabeth just feels the tiniest bit of attraction. It's just platonic. That's what she likes to tell herself, really.

Fourteen and Percy and her still bickering and arguing like usual. They can respect each other's boundaries still, all while they make crude jokes about the other. People say that they might be best friends, but the two of them shoot their ideas out of their heads. Who would wan't to be friends with that loser, anyways?

The ripe age of fifteen. Same old Percy, and same old Annabeth. They grow stronger together, and even more stronger as they progress. It's such a heartwarming thing to watch. Annabeth becomes more aware of how Percy looks. His apearance. Once a couple inches shorter than her becomes level-height. And then Percy has the audacity to grow taller than her.

He likes to tease Annabeth about it. Holding books above her head, or anything he can grab that's hers. It's more blood-boiling when you remember the fact that people in ancient Greece associated height with power. Percy? Have more power than her? Unaceptable.

Percy on the flip side becomes more aware of how his endearing his rival becomes. Annabeth puts him in awe sometimes, incredibly witty and smart. But the snobbish attitude from her makes him want to gag. Maybe not as much as it did in the past other years. Annabeth, (as much as he hates to admit it) is someone he can trust. After years of being partners in both battle and else, that was expected. Percy still can't trust Annabeth with his blue cookies though.

Sixteen, finally. A confusing year for Percy. It becomes a growing problem for Percy when his heart beats erratically when Annabeth is near. Her shampoo smells so heavenly from where he's sitting, which is at the end of her bed. Annabeth sits crossed legged from him, flicking the pages of a book. Percy just saw the lights on from her cabin and crawled through the window. That would make her annoyed, right? No other reason; just to annoy her. Totally not because he wants to see her again.

Annabeth doesn't have the slightest clue in her mind about why she let him in. Or why he opted to sit on her bed directly, instead of sitting on one of the very comfortable seats in the large room. Annabeth doesn't complain. The cabin is empty; her other guests singing along at the campfire or elsewhere.

Percy gets up wordlessly as Annabeth continues to stare at her book. Words are flowing through, forming, but she can't seem to focus to comprehend the book.

She notices his arrival when the bed dips with his weight. Percy has a blob of water in mid-air, floating just above the palm of his hand.

“You better not get that on my bed,” Annabeth chides, “Or I'll make sure to kill you.”

“Really now?” Percy makes the water floating towards her, threatening to soak her face. It stops inches before her- stopping from wetting her clothes along with it. She doesn't flinch.

Annabeth gives a sticky sweet smile, but her eyes say otherwise. Something along the lines of 'You better be digging up your grave now'. Percy flinches back in surprise, hands braced in a defensive position. The water shifts and floats back to him... to only float around the room aimlessly.

It's times like this when he feels truly at peace. The air is tense, sure, but he feels calmer than ever before. It's liberating.

The water leaks a bit from the moving. Annabeth is amazed how it moves so effortlessly. It's Percy moving it, but that didn't matter. Sometimes Annabeth wished she had powers... Her smarts and wits were amazing, but she felt that she could achieve even more if she had them. It's a painful thought.

Percy sits back on her bed, staring at the white celling. Different coloured sticky notes and red strings are hooked together by flimsy thumb tacks. Talk about being a nerd.

Both lost in their thoughts and a good book, the water comes back around the room to splash on-

Just fucking peachy.

On Annabeth.

“Percy!” She screeches, hair damp with liquid and some finding it's way on her white shirt. Due to the thin fabric and cool water, he shirt becomes a little more. How do you put it? transparent. Translucent.

“Oh shit-” Percy jerks upwards, moving his hands around frantically. If he stares any longer, he might become more aware of the now visible uhm- undergarments. He also might notice that they are blue, his favourite colour, and how it looks so fucking good on her.

Okay, he's noticed all of that in a matter of seconds.

“Quit staring!” Annabeth protests more, as Percy gets up to face the wall and cover his eyes.

“I didn't mean to!” He says, still facing away from her. “I-it was a accident!” I swear!”

“Quit you're blubbering and get out!”

“Sorry!” Percy says again, and again. “I’m really sorry!” Until he finds his way to the large mahogany door and steps out.

“I- uh-" He tries to reasonate, tries to make up with her. But it's quickly shut off when Annabeth slams the door in his face. Leaving a very stuttering and blushing Percy.

Seventeen. It's a dreadful year for the two of them.

It becomes painfully clear why Percy had been a blushing, embarrassing mess around Annabeth. Clear on why he feels like he's on cloud nine when she pins him down in the sparing arena. And incredibly clear why Percy thinks about her eyes, her smile, her everything. Even the random facts he always thought was annoying and stupid leave marks on his brain.

The oblivious son of Poseidon denies his feelings. Just some rivalry feelings! Some of which include him wanting to kiss Annabeth so bad sometimes, or even wanting to hold hands while walking along the sand. Maybe he does have the occasional dream of some less than appropriate things. Percy's rather embarassed about that.

It's when Grover, his reliable and trustworthy best friend finally makes him realize his true feelings. Ones hidden layers of sarcasm and sharp jokes.

“You think about her twenty four seven,” Grover starts, leaning back on the thick trunk of the oak tree. Percy had just came to him mid-spar to tell him how Annabeth was absolutely destroying him.

“And you also blab about her nonstop. I dunno dude, that sounds like a crush to me.” Grover sighs heavily. Percy blinks once. Then twice. And then three times.

“Do you get jealous when you see her with someone else?”

“Yeah! It's sickening! I feel all weird and stuff, so I-”

“You have a crush~” Grover teases.

“No? I think it's just-"

“Its a crush, Percy. You're so oblivious that it'll never progress more than that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Percy scowls at him. A bead of sweat trails down his forehead, caused from the hours of training.

“It means you have to confess.” Grover simply states, getting up. His hooves clomp down on the hard-packed earth as he trails away. “You gotta do it sooner or later, before someone else does it!”

That thought makes bile rise in his stomach. Annabeth? Go out with someone's else? Other than him? No way. Negatory.

But what if she declines? Annabeth is completely free to do that; but Percy would probably die of heartbreak. And if she started to date someone? Percy would explode.

It's settled, then.

He's going to confess.

- a/n:

(re-uploaded to fix some mistakes, lol)

#percabeth fanfic #percy x annabeth #percabeth #percabeth oneshot #percy jackson #pjo thalia #annabeth pjo #pjo fluff #pjo oneshot #pjo #pjo fandom #percabeth fluff #percabeth angst #annabeth chase #grover underwood

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thrashxunreal · 2 years

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lots of end of year thoughts even though i ended up in a truly vile mood on actual new year's and decided not to even recap the year even for myself because i just felt so awful about myself and my life that particular day

but regardless i really can't argue with the fact that there were highs this year that still feel like a fever dream... the biggest being going on tour which is still such a mindfuck and today i was re-reminded of it because someone on the crew who I had far too few conversations with found me on instagram and followed me, and i was just like oh yeah that was a really weird but unimaginably amazing thing that i was given the opportunity to do. now i have a tattoo to remind me of what that experience was like and to remind me to just say yes to things for that reason

also in professional terms [which i completely forgot to share because it happened as soon as i got to nashville] i got hired officially full time at my job, which means i'm salaried with a raise and have benefits now... which is so so so much more stability than I have ever had and it's relieving to not feel like I'm immediately going to be fired at all times for just being the expendable one. and separately, I also got told by a venue that i really love that whenever I want to shoot shows there all i have to do is ask. that got weird with covid spiking here but I'm certainly taking advantage of that, possibly even this month

over the summer I also went to new orleans with my best friend and it was the most incredible experience and i came to realize it's the only real vacation i've ever taken as an adult... Being friends with and even living with someone are their own things, but I genuinely realize that I love traveling with them too and there's no one I would rather do it with & now we're talking about going to europe this year...

and on one of the last days of the year I invited that same friend to go on this adventure that i originally intended to go on alone just for photo purposes - which was to go to this literal trash beach that's technically illegal to go to because of some slightly radioactive material that was found there once - and we didn't even know if we'd be able to get to it once we traveled an hour and a half there or if it would be worth going to but they trusted my desire to go anyway and the day ended up being so surreal and magical that i can barely describe it. we just scavenged neat litter from decades ago and every time a wave hit it sounded like wind chimes from all the glass pieces clinking together and the temperature was perfect and the only people we saw the entire day were two women, who kind of reminded us of older versions of ourselves, leaving the trail holding some collected treasures right where there's a gate to ward off trespassers as soon as we got off the bus i bartended on new year's eve until 4am and we were open until 8am so i stayed and hung out after my shift because my vile mood improved and naturally one of the first customers through the door after midnight was the dude i hooked up with on That Awful Night and then ghosted even though he still has my expensive ring at his apartment lmao life really decided to hand me a dose of "you need to deal with this unfinished business whether you like it or not" and I actually did?? I'll admit I was already kinda drunk at that point but I was super honest about how I really need my ring back (it's still safe) and that I wasn't really looking to hook up again (even though he still continues to hit on me) and even got a nice little confirmation that i didn't have to be concerned about the possibility of us having unprotected sex that i couldn't remember (i do actually trust his word there bc he's annoying but not really a scumbag)

Then the next day i had a hangover brunch at my friend's artist loft apartment and we just got bagels and went grocery shopping and had a nice conversation about how we really miss living together and now i'm actually going to pack up my life and move in with them again.... massive new year's day decisions but ultimately something that will even out financially very quickly (my rent is going to be literally half of what my current apartment is) and I think it's just going to make me happy?? I wanted to last a full year in my current place but I just need to be happy

#personal #lmao this is an essay

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thesickpanda · 4 years

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Where is My Mind?

Stress can make you feel like you're going crazy.

I cannot emphasize this enough. Long-term, persistent and intense stress well above your baseline levels can make you feel like you're losing your mind.

Life is stressful and when I think back to when the intense periods of stress started in mine it gets a bit ridiculous because I grew up in a domestically violent household with severely mentally ill parents in a country on the brink of civil war with one of the highest crime rates in the world. So I have been kinda stressed for a very long time. However, in more recent months, the level of acute stress I've been experiencing has made me feel disconnected from reality. I've experienced derealisation a number of times due to Lyrica withdrawal and accidental cannabis highs. But this one is different. The depersonalisation I’ve been experiencing is from pure, unrelenting stress. I really did question my sanity more than once.

In July, I saw my psychologist to describe this feeling to her. She very helpfully drew a diagram which explained the neuroscience of why we feel this way when we've experienced high levels of stress for a long time. It was really helpful to see that because it reassured me that what I was feeling was, as much as this can be said, "normal", given the amount of strain I was under. But the stress hasn’t let up since then and I have been well above my baseline for much too long.

Long story short, I haven't really recovered since my family visited me last year. 2018 was a year from hell. 2019 hasn’t been much better but for different reasons. Basically, the hardships I’ve endured being the leader of a non-profit all these years reached critical mass and finally, at long last, broke me. After 8 years of pouring all my heart, soul and every last spoon I had into it, I quit last month…and to very little fanfare at that. 3 people turned up for our final meeting, and only because we needed to hand them the organization’s physical assets. We had a little unplanned dinner out and that was that.

I'm grateful to the handful of people who have reassured me they will continue its legacy beyond my departure, genuinely I am, but overall I think I stayed in that position at least a year longer than I should have. I feel incredibly jaded and cynical about the whole thing.

And I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but screw Sydney’s activists. The vast majority of them can barely call themselves that. I have never been in such an apathetic, vain, self-centered and lazy city when it comes to political activism. This migrant has had enough of trying to get Australians to care about their own issues. (And yeah, the people I handed the non-profit over to? Also migrants).

It is telling that the final meeting was also the night before we moved house (because we always had to wrap our own lives around the goings on of that organisation, not the other way around, which is another major reason we quit). So after an hour and a half’s drive into the city, we had to get home late to get up early the next day to start that fun process.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Before we ever got to moving day, we first had to find a house. If you haven’t done it before, let me tell you, the process of house hunting on a tight budget in a hostile market is disgustingly stressful.

We were looking from June. The property market in Sydney is unbelievably expensive and even though it experienced a so-called "correction" for a year, (meaning that house prices stabilized instead of continuing to rise), that ended just as we entered into the property hunt. I am extremely grateful that we got the house we did at the price we did, but my God, getting to that point nearly killed me. I keep explaining to people that it felt as if my partner and I ran full blast over broken glass to the edge of a dock, leapt several metres and grabbed onto the barnacles of a departing ship by our fingernails. I really do think we may have been among the last millennials that got on that “property” ship, and it was only because, at long last, we had help from my partner's extremely wealthy parents. After shaming us for a decade for not being able to afford impossible house prices (“ok boomer…”), he finally relented and helped us out. Again, I'm grateful, but also disgusted that this is the world we live in. Housing should be a human right and we shouldn't have this intergenerational greed and infighting over something so basic. Forgive my inner socialist.

Finding the house was only the first part of the equation; moving into it was the next step.

The moving process was incredibly arduous. At the time we should have been packing up the house, my partner's work decided to send him interstate for business on multiple occasions. By the time moving day came round, we were not ready and we couldn't afford to pay removalists. We enlisted the help of two amazing friends and Joe's brother-in-law. Again, super grateful that I had their help, but my God, was it intense. It took the better part of four days to move everything. We had to pay off the mortgage and the rent for the previous place for a two-week period, putting considerable strain on our savings. At the same time, we needed to get some work done in the new house so that was being done while we were trying to sort out the old house. The rental laws in this country are a joke and are widely considered to be abusive to renters, including by many of my American friends who now live here. I doubt we will ever see our bond returned, even though we were treated like crap living there for three years in a house that was not sealed, had no insulation or air conditioning, leaked and was draughty, didn't have proper doors et cetera et cetera. I mean, we had maggots falling from the ceiling… twice. The place was rotting and rotten but because my partner couldn't completely colour match the paint when he tried to cover up what was absolutely reasonable wear and tear on one of the walls, I'm sure we will lose all that. As usual, the landlord will claim it costs our entire $1800 bond to get a $50 an hour painter in to patch up one wall. They always do this. In your contract it says reasonable wear and tear are a few knocks and dings on the wall and that the tenant is not expected to pay for that. In reality, in every rental we have ever lived in, the landlord has refused to refund the bond when there’s been even the slightest bit of damage, even if we had a record of being model tenants. It was almost comical how hard my partner was trying in the middle of the move to cover up a few scrapes on the walls from moving furniture in and out. It all came to nothing because for love nor money he couldn't find the correct match of paint. And then of course he had to mow the entire grounds of the last rental when he really wanted to be using his weekends to sort out and unpack the new house. Good God, it was awful.

My partner and I barely spent any quality time together during this period and he was extremely stressed out and distant from me. I totally understand why but the whole thing flared every single one of my conditions and I needed him as my carer. But he couldn’t really do that, as he was trying to do literally everything else. Moving house is hard on a healthy body, never mind one with two chronic pain disorders, irritable bowel and generalised anxiety disorder. And then (because of course), a family member of mine (one of the abusers) picked that moment in time to start harassing me, thereby triggering my PTSD which led to a nervous breakdown which led to intense depersonalisation, insomnia and nausea. Everyone and everything seemed unfamiliar to me, even my partner. I started to doubt whether or not I loved myself or anyone else anymore. I just felt so completely and utterly disconnected from the world. I began to lie awake at night terrified that I was fading away, that I could no longer feel anything other than fear. All the time, people kept saying, “congratulations on the new house! You must be so excited!” But all I could feel was sickness and dread.

Two weeks after moving in, I had to drop my Lyrica one more time. This drop has been very difficult. All of the stress has led to some dark thoughts in the back of my mind which of course Lyrica then co-opts and exaggerates. I have had a more than a few moments of suicidal ideation. Everything in my life on paper has improved. We are now homeowners, we live in a beautiful part of the world, we've made some new friends lately, things are settling down et cetera et cetera. But I feel like I'm in shell shock after this year and last year. I haven't even had time to process that I am no longer the president of the not-for-profit I founded and formulated an identity around. I just haven't had the time to process literally anything. I've been more exhausted that I have ever felt. Oh, I'm sure everyone will say, “this too shall pass”. But I do not believe that bullshit. Yes, this individual stressor will pass but more horror will come and I know that makes me sound super negative but I just cannot remember a period of time when things were calm for… I can't remember. I just feel like I've been in a hurricane forever.

So yeah, I'm writing this post while experiencing Lyrica withdrawal which makes me depressed and anxious. It's probably colouring my vision on everything. Fine. But I have been going through Lyrica withdrawal for two years, so it’s kinda become my normal. My final drop is on 26 December after which I will experience two more months of withdrawal and hopefully, after that, some semblance of sanity again. In the midst of all this I have to study for my citizenship test which is at the end of this month. I don't get any government support for my disability until I have been a citizen of this country for eight years, and as I’d like to survive my 40s, I need to get citizenship now. But yeah… studying an eighty-page textbook with an addled brain is just so much fun.

Of course, during this time we haven’t have Internet because we had to disconnect the old place and it takes an age for it to get reconnected at the new place. We only recently acquired it at the new house. So there are piles of emails waiting for me. Many of them are from friends and I'm glad for that. But there is also a lot of life admin I now need to do. I have to change my address on every account I hold, which is really tedious. We have also had to organise time with family. Because my partner's family helped us get this house, we feel especially obliged to go to every single one of the family events, of which there are many. He comes from a big Catholic family so every relative who comes to visit, every party that's being held, every birthday, wedding, funeral and religious holiday, we’re now expect to attend. We have several in the next few weekends, taking up most of the time we *needed* to be unpacking the house. We’re obligated now.

In all this negativity, though, I want to say that I am genuinely grateful to be one of the lucky ones to have a house. I know it sounds like I am whining about a good thing. It's not that I'm not glad for this (I know how ridiculously privileged we are). I just haven't been able to really feel it yet. I think that regardless of what happened this year, I’d be feeling this way. Something broke in me last year and just hasn't really come back. I feel shattered.

And all my chronic pain conditions have been wearing me down too. I found out this year that the operation that cost me and my friends so much money (to remove that nerve in my foot) had failed. Or rather, the surgeon had completely botched it up. I have PTSD from that surgery. Just the thought of going back to have it done again fills me with heart racing terror and cold sweats. I’ve had numerous surgeries before that one and been fine, but the reaction I had from the anesthetic last time was so severe, and the recovery so long, that I genuinely fear it more than almost anything else. And yet I need to go in for that nightmare all over again in 2020. I'm going to be asked to trust a different surgeon to do the same so-called “simple operation” to restore some functionality to my left foot. My right knee is probably also going to need surgery since it has been resistant to any physiotherapy rehabilitation. And on top of all this, my poor partner's health has also taken a hit this year from the stress which is worrying me. Because I can always do with some more worry…

But hey! This too shall pass! You should be happy! Life is great now! Yay yay yay!

Fuck, sometimes it just want to be allowed to feel shit and to have other people say “okay you can feel shit now. Yes, some good things have happened but right now you need to process the bad and that's okay too”. My lord, if people could just do that for me. If they could just let me feel what the fuck I need to feel.

What I feel is exhausted, scared, freaked out, traumatized, weird, sick, angry, overwhelmed and fed up. And I need to feel those things before I can feel anything else.

#rant #Fibromylagia #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic stress #stress #overwhelmed #personal catharsis

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flashcardsagainsthumanity · 5 years

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How to efficiently stop procrastinating - for perfectionists

I just read an article on how to stop procrastinating for real. I thought it was gonna be the same old shit we all know, but no. I actually found it useful, for once, and I feel like y'all should know about it. Here's a brief summary of what I've learnt.

First of all, procrastination is a habit, which makes it hard to replace with healthier lifestyles. Of course you'll have to work on this for a long time, but with self-awareness and patience you can do it.

Pay attention, though. You'll have to do things. Not just read and absorb what I say. If you really wanna change, do it.

Let's start.

We firstly need to make a distinction between two kinds if procrastination: "justifying delay" and "distracting yourself". The first one is when you do other activities instead of doing what you should do (for example, cleaning your room when you should studying (calling myself out like that? I think the fuck yes)); the second one is when you try hard to avoid the activity by wandering around, eating and doing nothing. The first modality of procrastination is usually more productive but still doesn't bring you to do your thing.

Now, think of an episode when you've procrastinated something important in the last months. Not a generic thing, we need to get uncomfortably specific here. Writing it down might help you (it surely will in the next few steps, so maybe having a piece of paper next to you is the best choice). Which kind of procrastination was that of the two I've listed?

It is finally time to go deep into our minds and look for the reasons why we procrastinate. We tend to say it's because we're lazy, we can't concentrate or we've got two many distractions, but let's get real: we can all get distracted with nothing. Procrastination is actually a reaction we have to negative feelings. We procrastinate to avoid a particular situation. Well, what are you afraid of? Why exactly did you procrastinate on that fatidical day we mentioned before? Maybe you're afraid of rejection; maybe you don't want to be at the centre of attention; maybe you feel dumb or stressed or overwhelmed; maybe you don't wanna make a mistake. It can be just one of these reasons or literally all of them.

Now, as I said, we have to get real. It's going to be awkward and embarrassing for all of us, but we need to seriously understand what our mind is thinking when we procrastinate. I'm gonna start. Yesterday, I've procrastinated studying Italian literature cause I don't like that subject but I wish I did, cause my parents would be prouder of me. I'm super scared that I'm going to break down during the presentation. I'm also afraid that some of my classmates will end up criticizing my grades cause "I don't deserve them".

Write it down. Write everything that makes you feel bad before doing an activity. I know, it's awful and extremely uncomfortable, but you need to be aware of your 'limit', of what is stopping you from reaching your goals. Remember, you're not just too lazy or dumb to study/work/whatever. You just feel bad for something.

Well, it is our last part here, probably the hardest one that will take a long time. As I said, negative emotions are stopping us from doing activity X. In other words, we are avoiding activity X to avoid all the negative emotions correlated. Is it working? Cause it surely isn't for me, I constantly feel guilty for not doing enough when I've got an high potential. So, how do we fix that? I mean, it is kinda obvious. Avoiding emotion Y leads us to procrastinate activity X. So, to stop procrastinating activity X, we gotta embrace emotion Y. Feel all of it. It's painful and full of anger and, yes, I want to stop. But we need to face the bad feeling, not delete it, cause guess what, we're humans not machines. (Guess that's the hardest lesson for every perfectionist out there)

In short, to avoid procrastination caused by fear, we need to face that fear. Again, it's not a process that you can do overnight, it's gonna take a long time (most people say you can build a habit in 30 days, but demolishing one is probably even harder).

Love yourself and all your progress, even the one that doesn't exactly reach your goal. And, most importantly: you don't have to do everything perfectly. You're going to fail someday, and that's still better than not trying at all.

[ can't find the article where I read all that stuff but I'm going to link down the blog where it was from, check it out, it seems incredibly inspiring for my perfectionist procrastinating ass ]

#stop procrastinating #procrastinate #i'm procrastinating #currently procrastinating #procrastinator #procrastination #studyblr #studyspo #studygram #study tips #study motivation #study notes #studyspiration #productivity #being productive

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monkeymindscream · 6 years

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I now want to imagine what it'd be like if the Dark Ones had somehow corrupted Gyrus Krinkle instead of the Alchemist as their Skeleton King... But I can't fathom how disturbing things would be. Though a SK fanboying the Hyper force would be the most terrifying thing ever. Probably ask them where they'd like their bodies to be mounted if he can't brainwash them into his minions (not thinking too hard about the timeline mess. It's all too scary).

I shit you not, from the moment I first got this ask(however long ago that was – my bad,sincerest apologies) this concept’s been stewing in my mind. I already have a ludicrously self-indulgent AUgoing I don’t need this.

ugh here we go again I guess Okay let’s set the scenehere, because for DO!Krinkle to happen, then our canon SK can’t. So let’s say that Captain Shuggazoom, instead of hurryingoff to save the city, stayed with the Alchemist as he went to shut down theNetherworld gate. He had a really skeevy feeling about the whole thing,whatever Al said about the grid being “impenetrable,” so even though his alarmstarted to go off he hung around a few more seconds just to make sure. Thusly,when Mandarin tried to jump up onto the grid, Cap was able to make a smooth-asssave and be like “c’mon little buddy listen to your dad he’s shutting it offnow” and held him back until everything was safely turned off.

(Mandarin sulked for the rest of the day, because being toldwhat to do by anyone other than his dad makes him insufferably cranky.Thankfully for dinner that night they had a noodle dish that happened to be hisfavorite, so his mood perked up considerably. And that’s the anti-climactic endto what would have been a horrible, life-altering evening otherwise.)

Years pass, and things progress pretty much how they did incanon in terms of the monkeys’ training, with a few key differences: Obviously,there was no need to wipe their memories, so even though the monkeys split upto learn their respective trades (Mandarin + Antauri and the Verans, Nova andOffay, etc.) they all still remember each other and would write and videochatand meet back up at their Dad’s for special occasions and stuff. (Also itshould be noted that they became robot monkeys and go off to train at a MUCHmore relaxed pace than in canon. Without demons breathing down their necksthey’re all allowed to move at a healthier pace towards things.) When they allget back to Shuggazoom, they work to help Captain Shuggazoom defend the cityfrom his assorted rogues gallery. TechnicallyCap’s in charge of the whole outfit, but Mandarin secured himself as leader ofthe Monkey Team “conditionally” (hepestered Cap and Al until they caved).

And then along comes Krinkle.

While he’s just as obsessed with the monkeys as he’s everbeen, the difference here is that he ends up coming into the monkey’s lives alittle earlier than he does in canon (Timeline? I FEAR NO TIMELINE). Since themonkeys are – at least – fifty years old by the time of the show, and I’d placeKrinkle anywhere from mid- to late-forties, let’s say he’d start stalking them here during his teens. ThinkSyndrome-from-Incredibles originstory: after pestering Cap to let him be his partner for an unspecified amountof time (and being repeatedly rebuffed; “Kid where the heck are your parents??”),he becomes bitter and disillusioned and decides to take matters into his ownhands. Krinkle’s selling point was that he could be the scientific/mechanicalgenius to Cap’s rough-and-tumble fighting style; he either hadn’t gatheredenough info on the monkeys themselves yet to know that the Team already has oneof each of those, or when Cap pointed this out he was like “yeah I know they couldhelp me it’ll be so cool!!” Cap eventually tries to shut the matter down forgood by saying he already has apartner that fills that role for him, and he’s worked with Al for years so hereally didn’t see a point in changing things now.

Baaaad move there.

So now Krinkle’s all indignant, because whatever this“Alchemist” guy can do, he’s positive he can do better. He manages to find outwhere Al lives (which is still out in the middle of nowhere, bless his oldhermit-y heart), and heads down there with the intent of having a gadget build-offor something to prove he’s the better mechanic. He gets there, breaks in, andstarts plodding around the place trying to find the Alchemist so he can makehis dramatic challenge. He gets distracted when he gets to the lab, because nowthat he’s found his competition’s invention stash he wants to have a look toget a feel for what he’s up against (he grudgingly admits that yeah, fine,these inventions are okay, but hecould still do better if only given thechance). There’s one thing whose function he can’t work out, though. It’s abig, ugly looking machine with a big, circular fixture on it. Kind of lookslike it might be a portal, actually… wonder where it leads to?

Y’ALL KNOW WHERE THIS IS HEADED.

The Hyperforce (who’re still located in the city, as percanon) get a really rude awakening in the middle of the night and have to goout to take care of the demons who’ve managed to escape. Since Cap has themonkeys and the Robot helping him out this time, they manage to wrap it up inwithout too much issue. But when they’re done they all panic a little becausethey only know of one place where demons could come from, and they’re scaredsomething happened to the Alchemist. Obviously, they rush over to his house tocheck on their friend/dad.

Back at the ranch, Al heard Krinkle screaming and ran tohelp (he had no idea who this kid was or whyhe was in his lab, but y’know what those are questions for later).Unfortunately, he’d come onto the scene justas demons were starting to crawl out. He really only caught a glimpse of whatwas happening to Krinkle before he was accosted by unholy netherbeings. He’sstill not corrupted, but by the time the Team get to his house to help he’sbeen plenty disfigured. His face doesn’t really even look like a face anymore, justa skull…

(Confession time: this bit is mostly just because I reallylike SK’s first design. Your skull has no reason to be that weird shape ya bigdoofus. Ya absolute dope. Ya feckin weirdo. God I love ya.)

At some point before Cap and the Team got there, Krinkle hadrun off. After assuring his worried family that he’s okay (all thingsconsidered, anyway), Al feels fucking AWFUL. Some poor child will have tosuffer a fate worse than deathbecause of his machine. Everyone tries to convince him it’s not his fault withlittle success. Sprx, though well-meaning, says something to the effect of“Better him than you, Pop,” which inadvertently makes Al feel worse. Mandarin is unapologetically ofthe mind that the little weasel deserved what he got, and it served him rightfor breaking into the lab in the first place. Not surprisingly, this viewdoesn’t exactly help either.

They don’t see or hear from Krinkle after that. They assumethe corruption was too much for him and he died sometime after running fartherinto the Zone of Wasted Years. Al is continually guilt-ridden.

Not too long after, unfortunately, whatever weird thing thatkonked the monkeys out in canon so Chiro could find them and wake them up stillexists here, so they have to go to sleep and Al and Cap are left alone for abit (I… STILL DO NOT FEAR THETIMELINE, BUT THIS MAKES IT A LITTLE BLURRIER).

Things progress kindanormally from this point, i.e. Chiro wakes the monkeys up, gets Power Primatepowers, and is on the Team. Only differences are that Mandarin’s still on theTeam (and still leader, both because Cap’s kinda old now so “conditionally”turned into “officially,” and I’m sorry but destiny or not if you think foreven a second that Mandarin would let some random human kid lead the Team overhim then you clearly don’t know this simian), and Cap and Al are around.Everything’s hunky-dory for maybe a month as everyone settles in to the newsituation, and then you get exactly one guess what happens next.

Some ways that having Krinkle take SK’s place in canon wouldchange things: Firstly, though he’s still obsessed with the Monkey Team andgunning to lead them, it’s ONLY the monkeys he wants now. Now that he’s gotSpecial Dark One Insights on things, he views Captain Shuggazoom as essentiallya pawn in the grand scheme of things (he don’tgot no special destiny) instead of worshipping him along with the monkeys likehe used to. Moreover, while he doesfixate particularly on Chiro like he does in canon, here it’s because he loathes Chiro. Not only because he’skinda against anything with a “Chosen One” label on it now (as per request ofthe Dark Ones), but he’s also supremely, viciouslyjealous of him. Oh, so he just wasn’t goodenough for the Team, is that it?? He was older than Chiro when he asked to be on the Team, and a mechanical genius! What’s this brat got that he didn’t?!

Next, Krinkle wouldn’t use formless as minions. I’ve alwayskind of headcanoned that the reason SK had the powers that he did was actuallymore because he’d been an Alchemist before rather than it solely being a resultof the Dark One’s corruption. They gave his powers an extraordinary boost, nomistake, but it was only because he’d known how to do magic prior that he wasable to do it as SK. Now Krinkle doesn’tknow a singular thing about magic, so while he has some dark powers now (mostly that he doesn’t need to eat or sleepand has the ability to corrupt other things to some extent), he’s nowhere nearas powerful as SK. So yeah none of that creating goopy-legions with the flickof a wrist for him. He’d fashion himself some mechanical mooks instead (formlessstill would exist in this AU, but I can get into that another time).

Can’t decide if the Skeletal Circle – or whatever theKrinkly-version of this would be – would exist here. On the one hand, I’m sureKrinkle would love to have a group ofpeople dedicated to kowtowing to him (if Krinklezoom’s any indicator, anyway,which I personally think it is). On the other hand… well, we just establishedthat Krinkle wouldn’t be as powerful as SK, so would he really be able toinspire enough awe or terror to justify a cult?

Anyway, if Krinklehas a cult to mirror SK’s, and if Valinahappens to be a thing in this AU, her relationship with Krinkle would be verydifferent than her relationship with SK. Again, Krinkle doesn’t have SK’spower, and one of the things Valina seemed most enamored with about SK was his power. Not to mention the factthat his main goal (possibly even more so than releasing the Dark Ones) seemsto be making himself leader of his enemies.She might have started out in his cult because her parents dragged her there,but I’m decently positive that all she’d see when she looked at him would be apathetic, whiny little man unworthy of the powers he was bestowed. So I can seeher either going “fuck this bullshit I’m out”and splitting to become a threat independent from him, or hanging around andstringing him along until she became his Dragon, and then stabbing him in theback once she’d decided he wasn’t useful to her anymore. So still technicallybecoming a threat independent from him, but just manipulating him and leechinghis power while she did it.

I’ve probably talked about this too much now, but I don’teven care. I love this. Hit me up for more on this any time.

#srmthfg #muttering about monkeys #Anonymous #Krinkle

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