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rosepascal · 4 months

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I'm a feminist obviously || Joel Miller x Reader

I'm a feminist obviously But I wouldn't really mind him savin' me And I know that I'm fine without a man But I think I would like his protection - Prison for Life (Olivia Rodrigo)

Warnings: protective!Joel, he calls you baby girl, reader gets attacked by an asshole guy. Mentions of a fight. Low key dark Joel because he ain't letting that slide. violence, blood, cursing.

a/n: I heard this on tik tok and it just SCREAMS Joel miller sooooo. A good protective Joel fic <3

The town of Jackson wasn't exactly fond of you and Joel. Let's just say the rumors that started when you first showed up have spread amongst the town members and well, no one cares that they're just rumors.

Safe to say that when you walk through the town center that you aren't just imagining people whispering and staring you down as you walk past them. The only thing you can do is roll your eyes and keep going.

Please, like everyone in this town is free of blood on their hands.

The small general store worker refuses to meet your eyes as you pay for your groceries.

"H-Have a nice day." He says timidly as you stare at him stone faced. At this point you don't even try to change any ones mind. Still at least this kid isn't shooting you a dirty look. You nod and head out the door.

"Is that the Miller's bitch I see." Just your luck. Out of the corner of your eye you see Elijah Davis. Resident Jackson asshole.

Though most people who had a distaste for you and Joel, they stayed out of your way. Elijah was different. He was stupid. See Elijah used to be the big man in Jackson. Self proclaimed best hunter, best shooter. A real tough guy. Always led patrols and that kind of thing really got to his head.

When Joel came around well, they may not like Joel but you can't deny his skills when it comes to survival. Joel brought home the biggest catch, he shot down the most clickers. He saved the most lives and Elijah turned bitter. He just couldn't give it up

"I'm talking to you."

"Fuck off." You hiss at him. You turn so fast he flinches and it makes you smile.

"Seriously, this shit is getting old. Go cry to someone who gives a fuck." On most days he was all bark and no bite but today was different. You feel a harsh tug on your arm as you're pulled into a small side alley. He jams his forearm into your neck and pushes you against a wall.

"I'm getting real sick of you. Acting tough when all you are is Joel millers toy. Bet you keep his bed real warm." He spits angrily. The pressure on your neck gets worse as black dots swarm your vision. You drop your bag and claw his eyes as hard as you can.

"Fuck!" He screams as he lets go of you. Land on your feet but the lack of air causes you to wobble.

"Eat shit." You kick him hard in the side and he tackles you to the ground.

The left side of your face erupts in pain as he punches you hard. He doesn't let up and you do your best to defend yourself the way you learned back in the QZ.

"Hey! What the hell is going on here?" Elijah freezes as he hears the voice of Tommy Miller. Though you've got a bust lip and blood spilling from your mouth you smile.

"You're screwed now." You knee him hard right in the balls and he topples over in pain. Before Tommy could pull you off him you get in one last kick to the jaw.

"That's enough, both of you." He gently pulls you back as someone else pulls Elijah up from the ground. He's still groaning in pain and man is that music to your ears.

"What happened?" Tommy asks as you wipe the blood away from your mouth.

"He attacked me, I defended myself." Though Tommy was Joel's brother he was also Maria's husband and Maria didn't like violence inside the walls of Jackson. She meant business. She even scared Joel a little. You bend down to pick up what's left of your groceries and stuff them in your pockets.

"Look, I know how it goes, I'll pay the fine or work extra hours blah blah, See you Sunday for dinner." Your face aches as you walk.

The only thing you want now is a warm bath and a nap. You don't hear Joel as you walk inside and for once that's a good thing. Ellie appears at the back door ready to show something when her face scrunches up.

"What the fuck happened to you?"

"What?!" You hear Joel's voice come from behind her and you sigh.

"Thanks Ellie." Joel storms in the house.

His eyes frantically looking around until they land on you. Particularly on your fucked up face. His eyes turn dark as he orders Ellie to go outside. She leaves but not before mouthing Good Luck to you. He's like predator the way he walks up to you. His mouth twitching as anger swirls in his eyes.

"Who did this to you?" He gently tips your head up. It scares you how calm he is right now.

"Joel he was just being-"

"He? It was Elijah wasn't it." He growled lowly.

Sighing you know you can't hide it from him forever. He clenches his jaw and leaves to go to the medicine cabinet. With a clean rag he wipes away the dried blood and patches you up as best he can. Unfortunately most of your injuries will just have to heal on its own.

"M'gonna go take a bath." You stretch your arms out and wince slightly as you tilt your neck. Joel clocks it immediately.

"You need anything baby girl?"

"No, I'm okay." He kisses the top of your head and waits for you to go upstairs.

Once he hears the water running he grabs his rifle and leaves. It's like the townspeople can see the steam coming out of his ears. Joel's got a murderous look on his face as he storms through the town.

"Joel!" He glances to see Tommy chasing after him but he doesn't stop. He goes right to the little town hall and storms into Maria's. She looks unamused as he slams the door open.

"Where is he?!" Joel slams his hands on her desk.

"Doctors, pretty beat up and still crying about it." She doesn't even need to ask, she knows why he's here.

"I'm gonna kill em."

"No you aren't."

"If you think-"

"Joel!" Maria stands and stares him down. He's angry, seething with rage at the thought of that punk little shit laying a hand on you.

"I know you're angry, so am I. He's to blame here and he will be punished to the full extent of the law." She says calmly.

"So what? He gets thrown in jail for a couple days? Has to do extra patrols? Give up dessert?"

"I know you're angry, but don't do anything you'll regret. I can't protect you from the law forever Joel." She can't lose Joel, he's a valuable member of the community and he's family.

He clenches his fists and nods his head. Tommy appears and walks out with him. Trying to talk him out of what ever plan he's got brewing in his head. He knows that Joel won't back down that easy.

"He hurt her, I warned him that if he ever touched her he was a dead man." Joel smirks as he passes the doctors. Outside is Elijah bandages all over his face and a scared look in his eyes when he sees Joel.

Count your days motherfucker.

Joel disappears for a week. Out on a supply run alone and god did it make you nervous. He kissed you sweet before he left. Promised he'd come back. His fingers traced your face. Trying to be as gentle as he can around the sore spots.

"I love you." He mumbles quietly, "You know I'd do anything for you." You hum and kiss him again.

"I know," You can handle yourself, you've proved that time and time again you know how to protect yourself.

But with Joel you don't always have to. Knowing he'd burn down anything in his path for you means the world. Because you'd do the same.

You see Elijah once or twice in town while Joel's gone. He's on double patrol duty before his trial. Then he just, disappears. At first you don't notice it but then you hear whispers around town. A patrol went out with 4 and came back with 3.

When Joel comes back you tell him. Elijah's trial was yesterday and he never showed. They went to his room and he wasn't there. All his things were but he wasn't.

He was just, gone.

A few days later Tommy comes knocking on your door.

"Joel here?" You nod and call Joel down.

"It's been a week and no one's found Elijah. So it seems his trial is postponed indefinitely."

"Okay, thanks for coming to tell us." You squeeze Joel's hand and he just stays quiet. Tommy looks at Joel and deep down all three of you know exactly what happened with Elijah. But there's no proof and Tommy isn't going to turn over his own brother.

"Dinner next week?" You ask and he nods.

"I'm sure Maria would love to catch up." When he leaves you turn to Joel.

"Joel...If they ever found out-"

"I don't care."

"I do!" Your voice raises for a second before you stop yourself from shouting.

"Joel I won't let you jeopardize anything for me."

"Well that's too damn bad." He gets up and walks over to you. He cups your face and stares at you with an intensity you've never seen before.

"Baby girl, he hurt you." Joel would risk it all for you. Death, prison, anything. He kisses you gently as to not hurt your still healing lip.

"Nobody messes with my girl."

In a world like this you need to be able to survive, to fight and to make the hard decisions. But sometimes it's exhausting. Constantly protecting yourself wears you down. You know you can but you don't mind the idea of being protected by someone else.

You know you should hate the violence, the fierceness of his actions and words. But you don't. How could you when he's all you ever wanted.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #protective!Joel miller

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mandomaterial · 9 months

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Jasper Hale dating headcanons

- this man is definitely, definitely still very old school, very chivalrous and a western gentle man. Stuff like opening doors, kissing your hand and leading you on his arm is a must.

- This man loves showing and teaching you new things 100%. Oh you’ve never really played baseball?, hell show you exactly how to hold the bat and hit the ball with precision. Hell stand behind yo, his arms wrapped around your body, his hand pressing to to yours as Alice pitched the ball, it came at such speed and you were a little frightened, but he led the movements with ease.

- He definitely takes you to a ranch to show you how to ride a horse, western of course. You’re sitting in front of him on the sturdy leather saddle as he’s handing you the reigns, his ands moving to your waist instead. He’s giving you detailed instructions as he gives the horse a little nudge with his heel. He tells you to softly pull the leather straps in the direction you want to go and the horse follows, he’s definitely praising you every chance he gets.

- He definitely has a thing for keeping you close, always holding your hand, or resting or around your waist, he wont allow you out of his weight until he bids you good night at your window. By the way, he’s definitely no as creepy as Edward by watching you sleep. Jasper definitely respects your space and leaves the second you give him a kiss good night. Thats unless you ask him to stay, then he’ll gladly lay down with you, cuddling you close but making sure that you’re always covered with a blanket so that you wouldn’t freeze while laying in his arms.

- Jasper will show you his battle scars once he’s sure that you’re ready and of course you’re a little shocked, but at least now you know why he always wears long sleeves. He allows you to grace them with your soft warm fingers as you ask questions about them, of course he answers truthfully, having come to terms with them a long time ago. He even tells you about Maria and her army, but what he didn’t expect was that you’d start crying, big round tears rolling over your chest. He coos and takes you into his arms, comforting you and telling you that he’s alright all while you’re whining about the story being unfair and sad, he cant help but smile.

- He definitely introduced himself to your family as on as your relationship got serious, you couldn’t stop him from meeting your father and making himself known in your family. Unexpectedly, your father actually liked him, he could tell that he wasn’t just going to keep you round short term but that he’d planned his future around you, going as far as to ask your father for his approval of the relationship.

- Jasper definitely knows how to play the guitar, i mean, he’s a cowboy? Hell play anything and everything for you, in his room , at the beach, in school or anywhere you want. He’ll definitely attempt to teach you at least a few songs so that the two if you could duet, but he soon finds that you rather enjoy watching him instead of playing yourself, swaying softly to the tunes and humming along.

- Jasper defiantly takes it slow with you, just like a true old-school gentle man. He’ll kiss your hand whenever he picks you up and he’ll drive you to a secluded romantic spot, the beach for example, hell sit down with you and just bask in your presence, he’ll kiss you, sure, smiling every second and laughing with you at the awkwardness, only to kiss you again. He really does love you.

#jasper hale #jasper whitlock #jasper hale x reader #jasper Whitlock x reader #x reader fluff #x reader #jasper x reader fluff #jasper hale x reader fluff #twilight fluff #twilight #twilight x reader #fluff #jasper teaching baseball #jasper hale baseball #jasper fluff #jasper x reader #jasper

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leclercloml · 7 months

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Summer boy | LN4

Pairing: Lando Norris x actress!reader

Summary: y/n l/n the popular actress mainly known for her role in the popular summer series the outer banks but she's constantly ship with her certain co-star and everyone thinks they're dating, but that's not true.... right?

Genre: SMAU

warnings: grammar mistakes i guess , kind of internet bullying?? (Don't worry y/n is a supportive gf who will not stand back)

Author's note: no hate towards any actors/actress all of these are just fictions. AND yes I'm doing this as a memorial of summer, because WINTER is coming bby!!

fc: Blanca Soler

yourinstagram

📍Charleston, South Carolina

liked by madisonbaileybabe, rudeth, drewstarkey and 58,823,649 others

yourinstagram your favourite cast are back. 🌊🍉⛱️☀️

tagged: madisonbaileybabe , rudeth , drewstarkey , hichasestokes , jonathandavissofficial , madelyncline , carlaciagrant

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madelyncline so we're gonna completely gonna ignore how you dropped the beer right after taking the first picture?

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jonathandavissofficial you guys had watermelons? Without me?

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hichasestokes rudy looking good in last slide.

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username caption is sooo real.

username my babieeesss 🫶🏻🫶🏻

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rudeth

liked by yourinstagram, landonorris, madisonbaileybabe and 83,77,927 others

rudeth 🌊🌊

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yourinstagram yayy!!

⤷username just confirm it at this point

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username he's so boyfriend coded

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username ARIANA (LANDO) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

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username rudyy/n 🔛🔝

yourinstagram

liked by madelyncline, rudeth, landonorris, and 37,91,898 others

yourinstagram as maria carey once said "boy why you so obsessed with me?" 🤍

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madelyncline who isn't

⤷madisonbaileybabe nothing but facts

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username sometimes I wonder even if she's real or not

rudeth get a job.

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alexandrasaintmleux beau 🤍

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⤷username HELLO??!N WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT?? WHEN??? HOW??? Y/n and Alex are friends???

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username why is no one talking about Lando's like?

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carlossainz55 mariah carey.

⤷username ahhhh kanskabsjs WTFFF???!

⤷username the caption is a carlos refrence.

username she's so beautiful

landonorris

📍 Charleston, South Carolina

liked by carlossainz55, yourinstagram, rudeth and 18,20,728 others

landonorris beach boy 🤽🏻‍♂️

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username his curlsss 😭🫶🏻

username he's in charleston???

⤷username yeah the location say so.

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⤷username who?

⤷username y/n l/n

⤷username the actress?

⤷username no, the president. ofcourse the actress

⤷username okay...and? Isn't she dating her co-star rudy pankow?

⤷username nah people just ship them, there's no confirmation but you know what else? few months ago y/n moved to monaco and lando lives in monaco as well, I mean like half of the drivers live there but that's not the point and from past few weeks y/n and lando are liking eachothers post and alexandra (charles's girlfriend) commented on y/n post as well AND lando, charles, alexandra, alex albon, lily, george, carmen, carlos and rebecca all started following y/n and she also follows all of them back.....sooo, you get what I'm saying??

⤷username delusions!!! no no no she's with rudy!!!

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carlossainz55 south carolina huh? 👀

⤷username Carlos what do you know??

yourinstagram look at those curls

⤷landonorris thanks,someone put their hand through it a lot.

⤷hichasestokes by any chance that 'someone' is really annoying?

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⤷landonorris not talking about you either mate

⤷username the nial is river in egypt

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username rudy better than this guy honestly

⤷username girl stfu and get the fuck out of here.

⤷username stfu there's a reason why she choose lando and not rudy 🥰

username this is sooo 😭😭

yourinstagram

liked by carlossainz55, madelyncline, landonorris and 26,828,940 others

yourinstagram name a better tour guide than me, you can't.

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madelyncline didn't both of you got lost??

⤷username this is the most y/nrudy thing.

⤷username and you know that's rudy because?

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username landoooooo

⤷username nu-uh

rudeth he literally told me how you were forcing him to eat sea food even tho he hates it and when he denied you didn't talk to him until he got you like 20 ice creams.

⤷yourinstagram HE TOLD YOU??THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BETWEEN US

⤷username hope all those delulu girls see this, it was not rudy 🥰 it was lando he hates seafood 🥰🥰

⤷username i refuse to believe this they were my number one not some random guy who drives car is gonna take em away from me 😭

⤷username you guys are so weird, just because they're celebrities that doesn't mean they're not human, both of them are grow up, rudy and y/n were nothing but friends you guys were the one who started shipping them, istg leave em alone it's their life, and stop hating on them for no reason you don't know them personally

⤷username speak louder for people at the back

username so it's confirmed? They're together.

⤷username not confirmed but I think everyone knows

username I'm happy for her

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username leave Lando alone wtf? He's a grown man!! She's a grown woman!! RUDY AND Y/N NEVER FUCKING DATED, THAT SHIP OF YOURS NEVER EXISTED IF LANDO MAKES Y/N HAPPY AND Y/N MAKES LANDO HAPPY WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM HERE???

⤷username they're just bunch of kids or groupies

username man wtf is wrong with some people

yourinstagram

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, landonorris and 69,82,702 others

yourinstagram my beautiful beautiful boy, I've said this to you in person but I also want some people to know too, you're the one i love and you're the one i choose I'm really sorry for the behaviour of some 'fans', you don't deserve it, but I want you to know that I'll be there for you, no matter what happens I'll be there for you when you have a tough race and I'll be there for you after some random bitch on instagram said something and I'm not good at expressing my emotions but YOU, Lando Norris, you make me the happiest person, after I have a bad day, after my favourite team losses, after I do bad on set, you're the one who cheer me up and I want you to know that no matter what happens I'll always be there for you and i love you so so so so much!! that I have looked at you in millions of ways and I've loved you in each and every single one of them, you're a bit annoying in like almost every of them but it's okay, and i promise that I'll forever love you and even after all of this i would still choose you again, again and again, I love you 🧡.

tagged ; landonorris

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landonorris this is way too much affection for me to handle, but I'll manage, i love you.

⤷yourinstagram there's no such thing as "too much affection"

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⤷carlossainz55 yup I can assure you on that

⤷yourinstagram tell me something that I don't know 🤭

madelyncline put those fuckers on their place!

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landonorris you're so beautiful, are you single?

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⤷username gonna hug a tree at 300km/h

charles_leclerc he's crying

⤷landonorris I'm not crying.

⤷pierre_gasly you are.

alexandrasaintmleux happy for you both 🫶🏻🫶🏻!!

⤷yourinstagram grazieee alex!! come over, I miss you.

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username "I have looked at you in millions of ways and I've loved you in each and every single one of them" AHHH!! WHEN.WILL.IT.BE.ME??!!

landonorris all mine.

⤷yourinstagram all yours.

username my favourite couple.

landonorris

liked by yourinstagram, carlossainz55, hichasestokes and 47,923,791 others

landonorris my beautiful beautiful girl, you're the best thing that have ever happened to me, you exist in my world I a way that no one else does, you're so so special to me and i admire you for what you are, for what you have been and whatever you will be, For me, you are enough, you are worthy, always have been always will be, you always say that i deserve better but i don't need someone better having you is a thousand times enough and the world may not know but the greatest love i ever had and i ever loved will always be you, i love you ❤️.

tagged; yourinstagram

yourinstagram LANDO NORRIS.

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rudeth the only person I trust who can handle that idiot.

⤷landonorris i got it buddy!

⤷yourinstagram shut up!

madelyncline keep my wife happy 😭

⤷yourinstagram noo!! I'm always yours.

⤷landonorris um excuse me what the actual fuck?

username adorable ahh mfs.

yourinstagram lando norris i love you.

⤷landonorris y/n l/n i love you too.

username and they lived happily ever after.

PS: I hope you all like it, and I don't have much to say, thank you for reading, have a great day ahead!

#formula 1 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #formula 1 x reader #lando norris smau #f1 driver x reader #leclercloml

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reese-tasteslikepepsicola · 9 months

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POST-OUTBREAK JOEL MILLER X FEM!READER

Joel feeling insecure about the large age gap you guys have

Warnings:

Large Age gap (reader is 28, Joel is 56), baby Ellie makes an appearance (ugh I love Bella Ramsey), lack of communication, hints to making out+Kissing+Sex, insults, body pain, crying.

—

• Joel first laid eyes on you when he and Ellie arrived to Jackson to settle down permanently.

• Tommy was giving Joel and Ellie a tour while you were taking a group of kids out of the Jackson daycare for a walk to the small playground.

• When Joel spotted you, he couldn’t help but stare at you and feel content watching how gentle and patient you were to the kids you were leading.

• Your warm smile that you flashed him when you caught him staring had him jump out of his daze and clear his throat, turning his attention back to Tommy’s voice.

• Ellie caught notice and nudged Joel’s shoulder, smirking and whispered, “Were you just staring at that pretty woman, Joel?”

• Joel had rolled his eyes, “I wasn’t”

• Ellie kept teasing him after that, making kissy faces to piss off the old man.

• The second time he saw you was at a Christmas gathering in the bar, strictly held for the adults a day before Christmas Eve.

• Tommy had brought you over to where Joel had been sitting on his own in the corner.

• “Joel, this is Maria and I’s close friend, Y/N. Y/N, this is Joel, my brother. He just arrived to Jackson earlier this week with his girl, Ellie”

• Joel thought you were so much more beautiful up close. You looked so much…younger, up close. Not even a wrinkle in sight.

• You had to only be 27 or 28 years old.

• When you both shook hands and you stared at Joel with so much genuine interest in your eyes, wanting to know about him and asking him questions, his seemingly cold heart had turned so much warmer.

• The conversation between you both flowed so freely and smoothly that you barely even noticed Tommy had removed himself from the conversation to go work the bar.

• After that night at the bar, you edged your way slowly into Joel and Ellie’s life, baking them cookies and lending Ellie your comics, and having them over for dinner alongside Maria and Tommy.

• Skip to four, long months after Christmas Day, you and Joel were an official couple.

• Joel had his doubts about becoming a couple due to how much older he was than you, and also hadn’t felt the touch of a woman since Tess, yet he kept it to himself knowing that if he tried to talk to you about it he’d feel vulnerable and all mushy. Joel didn’t do that kind of stuff.

• So he kept it in, even though it was itching to come out when the judgmental stares from people around town increased whenever you both would show public affection.

• He almost opened up to you about it one night when the Tipsy Bison Bar was gathered with people all around Jackson who had threw an anniversary party for Maria and Tommy.

• Joel was actually enjoying himself, having his beautiful girl on his left arm and a cold beer in his right hand.

• A slow song had came on and Joel brought you to the small dance floor where all the other couple were slow dancing with their loved ones.

• Your arms were wrapped around his broad shoulders and his strong arms wrapped around your waist.

• Joel was so happy and relaxed to have you in his arms and swaying gently to the slow Elvis song in the moment, that he wasn’t even focusing on anybody who was possibly staring at you guys with questionable faces.

• It was when Joel’s cold beer bumped your bare skin where your shirt lifted up, and you squealed, wrapping your arms around him tighter,

“Jeez, Joel! It’s so cold!”

• He did it again out of amusement and was letting out soft laughs,

“Can you get the bartender to refill it for me, baby? Please?” He asked, planting a kiss on your forehead.

• You happily took it from him and he watched you teasingly sway your hips dramatically when walking away from him, knowing that it always made him blush and laugh at your joking attempt at being sexy.

• He watched you from where he was standing, you were waiting for the bartender patiently, occasionally turning around to give him a grin.

• All the alcohol Joel had been drinking that night caught up to his bladder, so he had went to use the bathroom.

• You finally got the bartender to fill Joel’s bottle, and before you could start walking back to where Joel was supposed to be on the wooden dance floor, a man, around your age had tapped your shoulder.

“Uh, Hi? Can I help you?” You looked at the man who had short black hair and a nose ring with a confused look on your face,

“I’m usually not this forward but, you are one of the prettiest women I’ve ever seen here”

•You were used to men complimenting you around Jackson, so you just politely thanked him and looked around for Joel, not seeing him on the dance floor or sitting on any of the bar stools. Hoping he would walk away,

“You work at the Jackson Daycare, right?” You wanted to cringe at his attempts at small talk,

“Uh, yeah! I do” You didn’t ask him a question back, wanting him to get a hint that you weren’t interested in engaging in any broken flirting with him.

• He still wasn’t getting a hint, and Joel still was no where to be found,

“I have to ask pretty girl, are you seeing anyone at the moment?”

•You wanted to cringe again. ‘Pretty girl’ only sounded nice coming out of your boyfriend’s gruff voice.

• Speaking of your boyfriend, where the hell is he?

• There was a small line for the bathroom when Joel went, so it was taking longer than he thought it would.

• You looked at the man and gave him a tight lipped smile,

“I am, actually. I’m with my boyfriend” You responded to him.

• The young man looked around,

“And where is he? I don’t see him” You wanted to punch the cockiness out of him.

• That’s when Joel had came up behind the both of you,

“I’m right here”

• The tension released from your body when you heard your man’s voice,

“Hi” You kissed Joel on the cheek and slightly stood behind him, grabbing his arm to try and lead him to sit down. He wouldn’t budge from where he was now towering over the younger man,

“There a problem, young man?” Joel asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.

• The man had laughed in disbelief,

“This grandpa is your boyfriend? Wow, unbelievable”

• You gave the man a dirty look and continued to tug less gently on his arm,

“Joel, c’mon. He’s not worth it”

• The man scoffed and stared at you,

“I’m pretty sure I’m worth more than this old fuck, bitch”

• That’s when Joel shoved the guy into the wall and clenched his fists,

“Joel, seriously! Let’s just walk away!”

• Tommy and Maria had rushed over to break up the two men, talking to them both, but their voices sounded blurry to Joel’s ears.

• Your face was becoming hot out of embarrassment due to the eyes from everyone in the bar all on you.

• You placed the beer on the bar counter and grabbed you and Joel’s coats from the hanger and walked over to him,

“Let’s go home, okay? It’s getting late, baby”

• Joel didn’t answer you, instead just taking his jacket out of your hands and walking ahead outside,

• Joel was quiet the whole way home. He wasn’t slipping his hand into the pocket of your jeans and giving you drunken kisses like he usually did on these nights.

• When you both got to his and Ellie’s house, he was still quiet.

• Though, he was being loud with his actions. Tossing his jacket to the side, kicking his boots carelessly off the carpet, and stomping up to his bedroom upstairs.

• Ellie, who was sitting on the lazy boy chair reading one of the comics you gave her, looked at you with a confused look,

“What’s up his asshole tonight?” You shook your head and rubbed your forehead,

“He got into a small fight at the bar. Nothing too serious” you said. Flopping down on the couch with a tired sigh,

“If it wasn’t serious, why is he acting like some fucking kid who got told he wasn’t allowed some candy?”

You laughed and shrugged,

“I really don’t know, honey. I wish I did”

• And it’s true, you really don’t know why that situation at the bar made him so angry.

• You knew Joel to be strong and get over his shit easily.

• Joel had been quiet and less affectionate for the next few days after that.

• The comments the much younger man made about Joel’s age really fucking got to him.

• Also the fact that the guy had the audacity to call you a bitch.

• What the guy said was getting to Joel’s head…what if a younger man was more worth your while? A man that didn’t groan and grunt when he sat down or up, a man that didn’t need massages before bed every night because of his constant aching bones, a man who was not old enough to be your dad.

• Joel was feeling insecure.

• Joel had finally opened up to you about it when you guys had the house to yourself.

• He had finished showering, a much needed shower after helping Maria clean the barn all day.

• When he walked into the bedroom, you we’re sitting pretty on the flannel sheets of the bed, a white night gown that Maria gifted you for Christmas draped over your body and a big smile on your face.

• Even though Joel had been in a foggy mindset since that night at Maria and Tommy’s anniversary party, looking at you never failed to make him crack a smile.

• He sat down on the bed, grunting when pain shot up his aching back,

“You okay, baby?” Your warm hand rubbed his shoulder, soothingly.

• Joel just nodded,

“I’m alright. Don’t worry about it”

• You frowned when it seemed like he didn’t want your touch.

• When he laid on his back, you, out of usual routine, straddled his lap, hopefully to have sex.

• It had been coming up on a week that Joel had barely touched you. Always wanting to to just head straight to bed,

“Sorry, sweetheart, not tonight. I can’t” Joel patted your bare thigh, signalling for you to lay down beside him.

• You became embarrassed, biting your lip and awkwardly getting off his lap,

“Oh, okay”

• Joel felt his heart slightly crack at the confusion and hurt in your voice.

• He wanted to so bad tell you how he felt, but he too felt embarrassed to mention how he had been stuck up all week because of the comments that guy made.

• He was hoping the problem would slowly solve itself.

• He looked at you when you sat up on your knees beside him, facing him who was laying down with one of his arms tucked under his neck,

“Joel, why have you been acting so weird with me all week?” You were chewing on your nail, staring at his face trying to study him.

• Joel felt his stomach drop. Oh god, here we go. He cleared his throat,

“What do you mean, baby?” He rubbed your knee with the hand that wasn’t behind his neck,

“You’ve been distant since that night at the bar. You’ve barely touched me or even seen me all week. Your just, distant. Ellie and Tommy see it, too” You placed your hand on top of his that was resting on your leg.

Joel sighed and stared up at the ceiling. He couldn’t hide it anymore,

“I didn’t like what that man said the other night” you remained silent, waiting for him to continue,

“He was right. I’m an old man, and I’m way too old for you. I see the way people stare at us in public, the judgmental looks and shit. They practically tell me that I don’t deserve ya. You deserve a younger man who has energy and active bones. Who can fuck you more than once in one night”

You wanted to cry hearing him degrading himself like that,

“Joel, I didn’t know you felt that way. How long?” Joel looked up at you,

“Before we even dated, sweetheart. It’s embarrassing, I know” You shook your head and straddled him, planting your hands on his chest,

“It’s not embarrassing. I’m sorry you felt that way for a while. I love you so, so much. If I wanted a younger man I would have already been with one of them by now, but I chose you. I chose you because your strong, you care about the people you love, your extremely handsome and make me feel like the only girl in the world” Joel could feel his neck and face getting red at your words,

“Joel, baby, please tell me when you are feeling upset about these kinds of things. I’ll only know how you feel if you talk to me” You combed your hands gently through his grey hair, looking down at him with so much love in your eyes it almost made him tear up,

“I love you” He reached his hand up to your cheek, rubbing it,

“I love you, too” You whispered. You pressed a kiss to the pad of his thumb while staring down at him. He pressed his thumb in between your lips, slowly pushing it in your mouth. You accepted it, and sucked on it slowly. He groaned and closed his eyes,

“Sweetheart, I really wanna make love to ya right now but my back is just so fucking sore” You slowly pulled his thumb out of your mouth,

“Don’t worry about that. Just lay back and let me take care of you, Joel. My Joel” Joel moaned at that, his big hands going to grasp at your hips, slowly pulling your nightgown up.

This was going to be a long night.

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natsglorifiedsimp · 4 months

Text

Something Changed

A/N: Hello!! New fic for everybody. Angst this time cause I haven't written one in ages!! Hope you enjoy!! This is inspired by the TikTok videos I've been watching that make me bawl my fucking eyes. I forgot the titles but you guys probably know what i mean.

They would say Y/n and Natasha were very close. Everything they do involves banters and evil laughter from just watching a cat falling off a desk. They've even mistaken you guys were dating.

Natasha and Y/n were very close. They sometimes say sentences and thoughts in unison and it is resulted in another laughter that would be heard from a mile away. One wouldn't go without the other.

But all of it changed.

Natasha once shared with you she had a crush. Of course, you begged her to tell you because you were best friends. You begged and even tried to exaggerate your "please" just to make her give in.

And she did.

She told you it was Wanda. Wanda is her current friend in that one class you're not in. And she told you all about the good things about her. And of course, being her friend you teased her about it and supported her with every decision she wanted to make to get Wanda to date her.

After all, you knew she would do the same for you.

But something changed.

"Hey, Nat!" you called upon her. Natasha turned to see who called and with her was Wanda walking hand in hand. You gave her a knowing smirk.

Natasha only rolled her eyes, "What's up?" she asked.

"Do you have plans this afternoon? I was wondering if you could help me with my Maths" you asked showing her your Math notebook.

"Can't" she shrugged. "Have plans with Wanda,"

"Oh, uhm okay" you pondered. "How about tonight?" you asked once again. "I really need to get this done," you pleaded.

"Still can't Y/n, I'm sorry. Maybe Tony can help you" she gave you another knowing smirk to say she and Wanda would be hanging out all night and you gave her a smirk back.

"Yeah, alright! Have fun!" you enunciated the word 'fun' just to tease her. There's always next time you thought.

---

The next day you didn't see Natasha at school and she didn't join you for lunch. So you decided to hang out with Maria's circle of friends for a while just to past the time.

"Hey, your girlfriend not around?" Maria smirked.

You nudged her in the elbow enough just to give her a wince. "First of all, she's not my girlfriend." you booped her nose. "And second of all, I have an eye on someone." you looked her right in the eye. "And lastly, Natasha's dating Wanda so stop spreading those rumors around or you and Natasha will have a fistfight."

"Oh please, I would win anyway" she smugly said.

"Oh, I bet you would," you smirked.

---

It has been one week since you and Natasha talked or even hung out. You have been letting her give her moment with Wanda so they could have the best moments of dating. And as a supportive friend you gave her that.

But right now it was one of those nights again where you can't sleep and anxiety is ridden in your body. You felt nauseous and everything felt so heavy. You didn't want to cry cause you knew you wouldn't stop if you did. So you texted Natasha for a distraction. She always knew what to do.

Y/n

"Hey, Nat?"

"Are you busy?"

Bossy Natalia

"Yeah, I'm at Wanda's"

"What's up?"

Y/n

"Do you mind if we talk just for a minute or two?"

"I could really use a distraction"

Bossy Natalia

"I'm sorry, I'm quite busy Y/n"

"Could it wait tomorrow?"

Y/n

"Uhm, yeah sure"

"Sorry for bothering"

Seen

You were shaking at this point. You were upset and disappointed but it didn't matter. Natasha isn't always available for you, you thought. So instead you cried. You cried your heart out even if your head was aching, your body was tired, and your mind was swirling with thoughts that Natasha doesn't consider you as your friend anymore.

You cried until you fell asleep.

---

The next day, you looked awful. Your eyes were tired and swollen. You didn't have the energy to get up and do your daily routine but you did it anyway. You went to school like nothing happened.

In the first period, Natasha was in her seat already. You perked up in hopes of catching up with her about her girlfriend and your life also. You wanted to know the details, wanted to share to her about an encounter you had with a kid the other day where she randomly flipped you off. Anything really you wanted to share anything that was funny, useless or completely random.

"Hey, Nat!" you waved. She waved back whilst on her phone. "Who you texting?" you asked.

"Wanda."

"You won't believe what happened the other day," you said, smiling at the memory.

"Uh yeah, hang on a second," she said, texting really fast and smiling at her phone.

You frowned, "Nevermind," you awkwardky chuckled. "It's not important."

---

Everything changed since she dated Wanda. It's like you never existed. The things you guys used to do are now what Natasha and Wanda do. You tried reaching out to her, saying hi when you had the opportunity, asking her to hang out with you or have a couple of chats between friends but nothing. It's either she was busy or with Wanda.

It hurt.

But you paid no mind to it. You let her be. Because you're supportive. Even if it was your lowest you didn't bother to ask her or to rant to her about what you're feeling. You stopped sharing your problems, your meaningless rants. Because you knew Wanda was probably doing that already.

You felt like your role as her best friend had stopped. It expired.

And what hurt more was that she promised. You both promised. You promised each other that even when you guys were already dating you wouldn't forget about each other. That it was "Bros before hoes"

So you stopped. You stopped trying. You stopped communicating with her. And just let her be.

Your parents are planning to move to Los Angeles and their planning to get you to transfer to a new school there. New people, new environment. You would've argued with them about it but what's the point? You don't have anything to lose here in New York.

Natasha is happy now and that's all you needed.

---

Bossy Natalia

"Y/n!!"

"Why didn't you tell me you were moving?"

"Hello???"

"Y/n?"

Part 2

#natasha marvel #natasha romonova #black widow #natasha romanov #natasha x you #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natahsa romanoff #natasha alianovna romanova #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fanfic #black widow x y/n #black widow x female reader #black widow x reader #black widow x you

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marybeatriceofmodena · 1 year

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What did Andrew Lloyd Webber do to make Patti Lupone upset? Sorry, saw your tags and i was curious

Oh.

Oh honey.

You sweet child.

Anyway, get ready for one of the most infamous showdowns in all musical theatre history, with the guy who writes the straightest musicals on Broadway (derogatory) and the one and only, the matriarch, the queen, two three-time Tony award winner Patti LuPone.

So, Andrew Lloyd Webber was basically kind of a boy genius in his prime - he met his future collaborator Tim Rice when they were 17 and 20 respectively, he wrote his first big hit, Jesus Christ Superstar, at 22, with Tim Rice writing the lyrics. And it was kind of a big deal at the time because the topic was controversial (you know, the Passion with rock music), but also because Broadway wasn't that far off from its golden age and let's just say the music and style were very different from, say, My Fair Lady. Or The Sound of Music. Or Funny Girl. It was basically the Rent/Hamilton of its time. (Yeah, Stephen Sondheim was around at that time, he worked on West Side Story which was revolutionary in of itself, but he's kind of an oddball in this case. You'll understand why later.)

Their real follow up (I'm not counting Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for a variety of reasons) was a little musical called Evita, which you might know mainly because of a song called Don't Cry For Me Argentina. Or at least, your mom has probably heard it once at the very least. It's that song that's oversung from a musical while being out of context along with I Dreamed a Dream for Les Misérables. Or Memory from Cats.

youtube

Evita tells the story of Eva Peron, the wife of an Argentinian dictator, who basically screws her way to the top and ends up becoming the mistress of Juan Peron and the most beloved woman in her country through guile and deceit. Yes, I know the historical accuracy is very much debated but I know jackshit about Argentina's history except the bare basics so don't come at me. It was first produced in the West End in London, with Elaine Paige in the role, but because of Equity issues, she couldn't reprise her role for the Broadway production. So a Julliard graduate who was mostly starring in David Mamet plays got the part instead, and that was Patti LuPone.

Patti... did not have a good time during Evita, because the part is basically the kind of score where you can tell the composer is used to writing male parts, but most female singers have a two-octave range (yes, you got Julie Andrews who used to have a three-octave range, and many others, but they're exceptions), so she struggled a lot. That being said, if you listen to live recordings of her, you wouldn't be able to tell, and it got a lot easier later on. But she had this to say:

"Evita was the worst experience of my life. I was screaming my way through a part that could only have been written by a man who hates women. And I had no support from the producers, who wanted a star performance onstage but treated me as an unknown backstage. It was like Beirut, and I fought like a banshee."

This is from Patti's autobiography, which she wrote in 2007 - 8 years after shit with ALW went down. With all that said, she won a Tony Award for Evita, and she pretty much became a musical theatre household name from then on. She played Fantine in Les Misérables, Nancy in Oliver!, Reno Sweeney in Anything Goes. Meanwhile, ALW's next big hits were Cats (I'm not even kidding, Cats was a hit), and, you guessed it, The Phantom of the Opera, which he wrote in part to showcase his then wife Sarah Brightman's triple threat talents.

So, you need to understand before I continue that ALW, from my perspective, has always had a bit of an inferiority complex. He's basically associated to writing these commercially successful musicals that show a big spectacle but aren't ultimately substantial. I'm not sure I entirely agree with that, but I do think that if he didn't have Hal Prince, Maria Bjornson, Charles Hart and Gillian Lynne backing him up for Phantom, it would have probably been a Rocky Horror Picture Show knockoff people would have forgotten about pretty quickly. This is what I mean:

youtube

Yep, that was Phantom before any of the people I mentioned above (and Michael Crawford) were really involved.

Remember how I said Stephen Sondheim was an oddball? The thing with him is that his musicals weren't always commercially successful, but in general, in part thanks to being Leonard Bernstein's protégé, he was generally pretty well-respected and it was considered that his work was bringing musicals to a whole other level. Without Sondheim, you wouldn't have Jonathan Larson, and you wouldn't have Lin-Manuel Miranda. I am convinced ALW is resentful of that, and when you stop and think about it for more than 10 seconds, it's so obvious he REALLY wants to be Sondheim or at least command the same level of respect, but that's a story for another day.

So, after Phantom, ALW had other musicals that followed that either got a meh reception or outright flopped. Then there was Sunset Boulevard, which is based on the movie of the same name with Gloria Swanson. Despite all of her griefs for Evita, Patti LuPone agreed to partake in the musical as Norma Desmond, for its production in London, with the promise that she would transfer to Broadway once that production would open. And overall, after a string of flops, Sunset was actually doing pretty well.

HOWEVER. One day, while reading the gossip column of a newspaper, Patti found out that contrary to what she was promised, Glenn Close, who was meanwhile starring as Norma in the Los Angeles production, was to play Norma on Broadway. That was a complete surprise for her since no one on the production team had bothered to tell her it was happening - and keep in mind that for the news to come up the way it did in a gossip column, it probably would have necessitated a delay of a few weeks between the producers and the newspaper, which would have given them plenty of time to break the news to Patti. And Patti kind of needed the leg up because she was pretty bitter that a) Madonna was cast in the Evita adaptation instead of her; b) they actually lowered the key to fit Madonna's voice range, and she still had to expand her own to be able to sing the (lowered) score. And trust me, Patti is mad about it to this day.

So of course, she trashed her dressing room, the cast and crew weren't even mad about it because they were as shocked and angered as she was by the news. Patti sued Andrew Lloyd Webber for breach of contract, namely for 1 MILLION DOLLARS (yup, those are the real numbers), won, used the money she got from the lawsuit to get a swimming pool, which she called (and I SHIT YOU NOT) the Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool. Since then, Webber is dead to her, to the point rumor has it she had part of a building blocked during an event so she could get out of it without coming across Webber, because she hates him so flipping much she doesn't even want to be in the same building as the guy.

(There's also drama that happened with Faye Dunaway who was supposed to replace Glenn Close after she went from Los Angeles to Broadway, except they abruptly closed the show down after Close left, but that's a story for another day)

So with all the bad press, and with ALW forced to pay 1 million dollars for Patti's lawsuit, that led Sunset's productions to close earlier than expected. ALW has stayed around since, with... mitigated output, so to say. The lowest point for a lot of people is Love Never Dies, the sequel to Phantom, which some people love, and that's fine, but it didn't do well with either critics nor fans of the original show, which ALW is EXTREMELY BUTTHURT ABOUT. And like, there are so many stories I could tell about LND alone, but I will share my own crack theory about it, since it does relate to the ask.

Anyway, buckle up.

So. There have been jokes going around for years that the Phantom in LND is basically ALW's self-insert, where he displays to the world that he's totally not over Sarah Brightman leaving him (in part because making Phantom kinda ruined their marriage lmao), despite, you know, having married since. (Aaaaaakward.) So LND basically becomes this really uncomfortable therapy session where a man writes a self-insert musical about how his ex-wife made a big mistake of leaving a sensitive artistic soul such as himself. The characters from Phantom who appear in LND are all more or less unrecognizable as a result, and one who gets it worse (in my humble opinion) is Meg Giry, who was basically Christine's sweet and loyal ballerina friend who basically went into the Phantom's lair on her own to save her friend despite the danger. In LND, she's basically a bitter hag (because ALW hates women, guess Patti was right about that), who really likes the swim and even has a stripping vaudeville number about it, written in universe by the Phantom, no less.

For comparison, here's Don Juan Triumphant (the Phantom's opera in the original):

youtube

And here's Bathing Beauty (the vaudeville number):

youtube

Yeah, so... do you see why people hate LND already?

And that's not the only thing with Meg! She's also pining for the Phantom to pay attention to her and threatens to drown the Phantom and Christine's secret love child when he makes it clear that he's gonna love Christine for EVA AND EVA.

So, with everything we learned today about ALW, would someone like him view someone like Patti LuPone as some sort of crazy, bitter diva who's obsessed with him for whatever reason? Absolutely. Would he be petty enough to insert Patti LuPone into his self-insert musical, which gave us the version of Meg Giry we got in LND? Of course. Why does Meg love to swim so much and why does she drag Gustave out ostensibly for a swim? Is it a dig at Patti's Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool? Maybe.

I kind of hope we find out one day if that theory is true. And maybe start a kickstarter so Patti can add this painting from the 2004 movie in her collection.

Fun fact: during the process of casting for the 2004 movie adaptation of POTO, ALW allegedly suggested Patti LuPone to play Carlotta... only for Joel Schumacher to have to awkwardly remind him that they were not on speaking terms. The idea was therefore promptly dropped.

#YOU'RE WELCOME ANON #anon asks #Andrew Lloyd Webber #Patti LuPone #evita #sunset boulevard #phantom of the opera #love never dies

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lovewsl · 2 months

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Gone again (part 2) // Alexia putellas x reader

Part 1

The day was lovely sat with alexia and nala. You all cuddled on the couch together and ended up ordering dinner so you didn’t have to move. It all felt perfect in your eyes but in alexia’s it wasn’t. She felt uneasy like something was wrong and that she needed to go.

And go she did.

The next morning she was gone. Alexia putellas had gone again. When you woke up and the bed was empty and cold except for the ball of fluff at the end of the bed that occasionally made a noise when you moved her to fast, you and nala were alone again. After getting up and looking around the apartment for her you called mapi. No answer. You called ingrid. Twice. The second time she answered asking if you knew how early it was. “ Ingrid she’s gone again. Ale.. she’s gone again.” Silence. That’s all you heard from ingrid she was silent, probably trying to process it.

“Maps. Mapi. Maria. get up.” You wanted to laugh hearing the struggle of waking the Spaniard up. But you couldn’t help starting to cry. Wishing it was you and alexia, struggling to wake her up in time for training. It wasn’t. “We’re on the way y/n. Just wait where u are. We’re coming” she ended the call. And you broke down crying. If there was one thing you knew it was that people in the shows you watched with mapi that said about missing loved ones, they severely underestimated how much pain it can cause.

They came over as soon as they could get there and made sure u were ok before coming up with any ideas. You sat on the couch cuddled into Ingrid trying to think of all the possible places she would have gone. It took a little bit but you all had some ideas and started going to different places trying to find her.

After a few places when you were all stood in the middle of the beach mapi looked at the ocean “has anyone thought maybe she went to a football pitch” both you and Ingrid look at mapi “I remember that when we were younger and she needed time for herself she played football cause she said it was relaxing for her” with that you all got up and went to the training grounds.

The walk in was quiet. No one was there and then as you rounded to corner to the pitches u saw the lights “its ale she’s here” soft whispers coming from Ingrid not wanting to cause her to run again. You all made your way to the pitch that alexia was on, standing for a minute watching her take shot after shot at the goal. Mapi took it upon herself to join alexia. You and Ingrid hanging back to allow them to talk for a minute while they passed the ball to each other.

You watch as mapi and Alecia talk about everything that’s been bothering her and why she keeps running away. “I feel like I’m holding her back, I’m trying to help. I didn’t mean to cause any problems mapi. You know I struggle talking so I shut down and go away. I hate it but I can’t help it” you start tearing up hearing how alexia feels. You and Ingrid walk over slowly when mapi hugs alexia and tells her ur here.

“Ale, love. Ur not holding me back, I’m sorry u feel like that. I’m always here for u. There’s nothing to worry about.” There’s tears in her eyes. Knowing alexia she doesn’t show her emotions too much so this was something you didn’t see often. “I love you ale. There’s nothing about you I don’t love, it’s always gonna be you” she was all yours and u just have to make her know she’s special to you.

“You don’t have to go home straight away and even if you do there’s always a spare room one of you can sleep in” Ingrid reminded both of you as you hugged each other. “I’m sure there’s a very excited puppy at home waiting for both her mamas” alexia looked up at Ingrid “nala. She’s home alone how stupid of me for leaving my baby” everyone looked at alexia.

“Let’s go see your baby ale” she took you hand and kissed the side of your head “I’m sorry love. I got scared” everyone smiles. “It’s ok I know amore”

With that said you all went home. Ingrid and mapi came to yours and stayed the night to make sure everything was ok. You fell asleep in each others arms with nala on alexia’s lap.

Your little family. You, alexia and nala. With the added bonus of mapi and Ingrid. It was perfect for you all

———————————————————————

If anyone wants a part 3 just let me know. Sorry for the delay, I lost track of time and forgot to write. Lucy x reader will be out hopefully by the weekend or early next week.

#barca femeni #woso x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #barca femini x reader

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dancingtotuyo · 28 days

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9. the fear of what's to come

Woman | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: You and Joel navigate life changing news.

Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (13/14 years). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.

Chapter Warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, mentions of potential pregnancy complications including but not limited to miscarriage and stillbirth, single reference to a fetus being a child (not intended in a pro life way), angst, grief, complicated feelings surrounding pregnancy.

Notes: A huge thanks to my amazing beta readers and friends @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin & @janaispunk

If you have not checked out Before, I would encourage you to do so for more backstory on our dear reader!

Words: 3088

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You know three weeks after your missed period what is happening. It’s not hard to figure out. It’s just like last time. Menopause crosses your mind briefly, but the symptoms don’t line up. You’re sensitive to the same foods, nausea rolls in and out like the ocean tides throughout the day. The insatiable craving for a tomato sandwich cements it two days later. Tears run down your cheeks as you quickly finish off the sandwich and prepare another.

You don’t get excited. You don’t make plans, and most importantly, you don’t tell Joel. You’re 45. Joel is in his late 50s. You know the statistics, the pre-end-of-the-world ones. You can’t imagine they’ve improved.

Instead, you just hope that when it happens, nothing goes wrong. There’s no DNC, no pills to make sure everything passes properly or ensure no infection sets in. You’ve aided many women through this, many much younger than yourself. Some make it just fine, others have complications with nothing but prayer, poultices, and 20-year-old antibiotics to help. You’re not sure what actually does it when the women make it through. Some of them you've buried. Their faces flicker through your mind. You cannot be one of them. You cannot leave Carter without either of his parents in this world.

You tell Maria. You tell her everything she needs to know. What to do step by step when it happens. Since Adam’s injury, Dr. Pooley refuses to practice anything more than simple first aid. You’re both certain it’s dementia. You spend most mornings listening to him talk through different lectures he attended. On the mornings his brain won’t cooperate, you sip tea together. He’s writing down what he remembers, but you have to fact-check it. He’s already taught you most of it anyway.

“You have to tell Joel,” Maria says when you tell her.

You refuse. You won’t do it. You won’t bring him into this. You have this silent agreement that you’re partners in this world, but he still lives in the house across the street with Ellie. There’s never been discussions about moving in together or anything past that. You don’t call him your boyfriend. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend. Making those commitments, those plans, it will hurt too much when the world takes him away.

Carter calls him “Daddy.” It makes Joel smile every time. He’s accepted that commitment. It makes you smile too, but there’s still a little ache in your heart each time. Carter knows about Gabe. You tell him stories all the time. If you ask him, he says he has two daddies. One here and one in heaven.

But you won’t tell Joel about this child. He’s lost one. He doesn’t need to lose another.

Maria fights you on it. She looks at her son pointing out that she was 2 years older than you are now when he was born healthy. You don’t remind her she almost died, but she sees it in your eyes. You still have nightmares about that night.

You’re firm. You’re not going to tell Joel. Neither will she, and she damn sure won’t tell Tommy either.

You wait for the cramps and the blood, but they never come. You hit the 3-month mark, your 2nd trimester at the beginning of October. You don’t cry in the bathroom. You square your shoulders. Second-trimester miscarriages happen. Stillbirths happen, but hope gathers in the depths of your soul, growing with each day. You push it away with logic and reasoning.

Two sides of you war against each other. You can’t bring another life into this world. At one point you were okay with it. You felt safe here, and while you still do, it doesn’t feel okay anymore. The world still digs its ugly claws into this community. Yet, the hopes you used to hold in your mind, the ones you had with Gabe, and the ones you had before the outbreak still linger. In a perfect, uncomplicated world, this is what you would choose.

You hide the sickness from Joel with relative ease. He’s often awake and out of bed before you for patrol shifts, early morning chores, or waking up with Carter so you can sleep in.

You deliver the Crosby twins a week later without complications. Melissa is only a couple of years younger than you, but at your age, you know how crucial those few years are. When you finally reach your front porch, you sit in the darkness of Wyoming and finally let the tears fall because fate seems to be telling you that this is happening, or just sending you another person to lose. The realization hits you like a freight train. Time is up. You have to tell Joel.

You crack open the door to Carter’s bedroom. He’s sound asleep and it relieves you to know he's here. You’re less on edge when he’s close, and It means Joel picked him up from Maria and Tommy’s. It means Joel is in your bed.

Sure enough, he’s there when you creep in. He sleeps on his side curled up over your pillow. You roll your eyes. Yes, it's endearing, but it’s also a pain in the ass to get your pillow back.

The bathroom light is blinding at first, but your eyes slowly adjust as you turn on the shower and steam fills the space. Goosebumps spread across your skin as you undress, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. You’ve noticed the subtle changes in your body over these past couple of months, but they’re becoming more noticeable. Your breasts have grown, they’re so sensitive, and your sports bra pulls at the seams. Joel commented on it last week. You joked you were packing on extra weight for winter acting like it was nothing.

Your favorite pair of jeans no longer fit. You’ve mostly stuck to leggings since. You’re starting to clock the subtle changes in your body. They’re happening faster than with your last pregnancy. The past week, you’ve shut Joel down sexually, scared he would catch on despite your sex drive skyrocketing. It’s been difficult.

The shower washes away everything: the sweat and grime of the day, your tears, the tension in your muscles. You stand under the water until it runs cold, slipping on Joel’s worn soft t-shirt.

Your pillow is back on your side of the bed, Joel still on his side. A smile creeps onto your face. He keeps his eyes closed, but you know he’s awake. You don’t say anything as you slide into bed, but your anxiety spikes, your heart fluttering in your chest. You have to tell him.

You’re staring at the ceiling when he breaks the silence. “What happened?”

You suck in a breath. He thinks something went wrong tonight. He’s probably preparing to dig a grave. “Nothing, mom and babies are fine.”

“So it was twins?”

“Yeah.” You had suspected as much, but the ultrasound machine doesn’t work, try as you might to get it operational. You hadn’t been able to find a second heartbeat with the Doppler.

“So what’s buggin you?” His drawl is deeper, soaked with sleep.

He scoots a little closer, hot breath tickling your ear. You can’t move. You should look him in the eye when you tell him, but you can’t. The words are at the back of your throat surging forward toward your lips. The anxiety in your chest feels like a herd of buffalo stomping across the countryside. You squeeze your eyes shut to try and stop it.

“Sweetheart?” His hand reaches toward you, eyes trained on your profile as concern laces his brow.

“I’m pregnant.”

His hand stops over your arm. You feel its warmth so close, and then it goes away. You dare to look at him. You expect him to get out of bed and bolt. You don’t know why. He’s only shown you otherwise the entirety of your relationship, but this is more than either of you signed up for. Instead, you watch as it sinks in. He connects the dots, all the symptoms and signs that were right in front of his face, his subconscious absorbing them, but refusing to put it all together.

“I’m sorry,” you say.

You look back toward the ceiling, tears slipping from your eyes.

His hand covers your abdomen, forehead pressing against your temple. He starts to feel the changes to your body for what they are. You shudder.

“How long have you known?”

There’s not a trace of judgment or fear in his voice, but it does little to assure you. You’re scared. It doesn’t matter what Joel says or does, the fear is overwhelming.

“Beginning of August.”

“Shit, baby.” He pulls you into him, cradling your head against his chest. “You didn’t have to carry this alone.”

“I didn’t think it would last.” After months of holding the tears back, you finally let them out, a mix of relief and fear. “I didn’t- I didn’t want you to-”

You can’t finish it. You can’t say it out loud, but Joel knows what you’re trying to say. You didn’t want him to lose another child, and it wrecks him. His grip on you is crushing, but it soothes your shaking frame. Just as you come down, his sobs greet your ear because he’s scared too. Every single fear and anxiety that has come over you the past months, he feels too. Maria’s labor and delivery flash through his mind. If that happens to you, who’s going to save you?

You reach up to cradle his face. He presses into your neck. Your skin is sticky and salty again, but you don’t even think about it as the man you love and can’t tell cries in your arms. You’re unable to return his soothing squeeze, but you lay there to provide any comfort you can. The two of you fall asleep tangled in each other.

You feel Joel’s fingers dancing across your abdomen before you’re fully conscious. There’s no rhyme or reason to his movements. His other hand brushes over your temple and through your hair. Every once in a while you feel his breath and lips across your neck, up and down your arm, over your collarbone. It feels like he’s memorizing you, fear present in all of his movements even now.

You finally open your eyes. His movements still as you look at him. There are tears in his eyes as his head falls forward, resting against yours. “I’m scared.”

“Me too.” You reach out, nails raking across his arm.

He shudders under your touch. “I wish you told me sooner.”

You bit your lips. “I’m sorry.”

He lets out a deep sigh, kissing your forehead. His hand drifts to your abdomen again. You watch his eyes, so expressive filled with fear and anxiety and maybe a little bit of awe and guilt?

“I should’ve been more careful.”

You press your head to his, inhaling softly. “We.”

Joel’s fingers scrape along your jaw, his beard rough against your chin. “I like being a we.”

“Me too.”

Silence settles between the two of you. The wind knocks against the window, but it’s warm next to Joel. His arm snakes around you, tugging you closer to him.

“I suppose you’ve told Maria?”

You can’t hide the guilty smile on your lips. “If it makes a difference, she told me I needed to tell you right away. Pretty sure she was gonna tell you herself if I didn’t do it soon.” You mess with the collar of his shirt.

“How long do we have?”

“Figure it’ll be May. If we get that far.” You say. Joel nods and something clenches around your heart, a need to protect him, warn him of the danger. “You know there’s a lot of risks. No guarantee…”

“One day at a time.” He kisses your cheek but you see all the fear he’s pushing away plastered to his face like a movie poster.

Joel asks you how you are, but other than that, you don’t talk about it. You feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders but there’s an anvil hanging above your head, waiting to drop at a moment’s notice.

You’ve outgrown your last pair of jeans. When you manage to trade with someone, they give you a look, like they know what’s going on inside your body.

You take more naps, sometimes at the clinic, sometimes on the couch. You’re constantly tired. Maria brings dinner to the house every few days. She never asked, but you don’t complain.

One evening you open your eyes to find Ellie staring down at you, worry etched in her features. It startles you at first.

“You’ve been sleeping a lot lately,” She says.

“You’ve noticed?” You pull yourself into a seated position. It feels like someone shoved a bunch of cotton into your mouth. You reach for the now room-temperature water on your end table.

“You only take naps when you’re sick or depressed.” You raise an eyebrow at her. She crosses her arms as if to say she knows you’re neither right now. “What’s going on?”

You finish off the water. Despite its temperature, it helps. “I’m fine.” You reach out, placing a hand on her shoulder, but it does nothing. At 17 years old, Ellie is turning into a woman before your very eyes. At times, you’re convinced any semblance of childhood has been replaced with adulthood, but there are other times you still see the slivers of the girl you met two and a half years ago. Right now, she’s the one sitting in front of you.

“Bullshit. What’s going on? You and Joel have been acting weird.”

Had things really been that different in the past couple of weeks? You open your mouth to speak, unsure of what to say. You and Joel hadn’t talked about telling anyone, which seemed silly. You can’t hide this forever.

The door opens and Carter bursts in with Joel on his heels. A smile instantly finds your lips.

“Mommy! Look!” He holds up a package of seemingly new Crayola crayons.

Your eyes widen with exaggeration. “Wow, buddy. That’s awesome.”

“John Lacy found a bunch of them on patrol. They handed them out today,” Joel smiles. “Grabbed you some colored pencils.” He hands a set of non-crayola pencils to Ellie.

“Thanks.” She smiles but is still distracted by her worry over you.

Carter crawls up beside you, eagerly pulling out the surprisingly intact crayons one by one. Joel leans over to kiss your cheek and tousles Ellie’s hair. She makes a face of displeasure but doesn’t fight him on it.

“You two look like you were talkin about somethin serious.”

“I was trying to figure out why the two of you have been acting weird,” Ellie says.

Joel’s drops to unreadable. He looks at you and you shrug in response. “We have to tell them eventually.”

Worry makes its home on Ellie’s face. “So something is wrong with you.with you.”

“Nothing is wrong with me.” You sigh deeply. You run your fingers over Carter’s head, kissing it.

“You’re sure acting like there is,” She says impatiently.

“Ellie,” Joel reprimands, traces of his asshole voice laced into it.

Ellie bites her lip. It looks like she might be fighting off tears as she looks directly at you. “I’m worried about you.”

You force a smile, leaning forward. Your forearms rest on your knees. One would think it would get easier to say each time. Instead, it’s like picking at a scab that’s not healed. You’re forcing yourself to say something, your brain isn’t ready to accept. “I’m pregnant.”

Ellie sits up straighter, her eyes widen with shock. “Oh wow…”

You wonder if the pictures fill her mind too. She saw Maria the night Elias was born. She saw the blood that covered you. Joel’s fingers brush over your shoulder, squeezing it lightly before they run over the back of your neck. You lean against him. “I’m sorry we worried you. We’re still getting used to the idea,” You say.

She nods and then her arms around your neck. She basically knocks you backward with the force of it. “I’m glad you’re not dying.”

You squeeze her tightly, a faint lilt of humor in your voice. “Me too.”

Then her voice drops to a whisper right at your ear. “You’ll be okay. I know you will.”

Your head rests on Joel’s bare chest that night. The full moon sends light drifting through your window, casting the room in a cool glow. You play absentmindedly with the hair on his chest. His heart beats under your ear. The room is otherwise silent.

“I told Tommy today.”

You nod.

“He wanted to know why I was so quiet. Told him I was always quiet.”

That pulls a smile across your lips. “Surprised he shut up long enough to notice.”

Joel chuckles. His arm around you tightens. His lips find your forehead. “I know we’re not ready to think too much about it.”

“Don’t think it’s something we can really ignore.” You nuzzle further into him.

“Baby steps.” He kisses your nose this time.

You quirk an eyebrow. “Baby steps? Really?” You flip onto your stomach while you still can.

He chuckles. “Poor word choice.”

You kiss his bicep and then his shoulder. He looks at you like your entire world and your stomach erupts in butterflies and twists in knots all at the same time. You still won’t let him say it, but you feel it every time he looks at you like that.

You rest your chin on his shoulder. “What are these steps you had in mind?”

His thumb traces over your jaw and cheek. “Don’t bolt on me, okay?”

“I think it’s a little late for that.”

He chuckles and then inhales deeply. “I think we should probably share a house. I figured you’d prefer to stay here, but it’s up to you.” He searches your eyes for any signs of panic or signs that you might shut down but finds nothing. In fact, you’re so calm that it’s hard to read.

“It would be nice to have you officially living here,” you say. It feels right to say, to think about. “And Ellie if she wants.”

“That was easier than I’d thought it would be.”

“You pretty much live here as is.” You turn on your side, nuzzling back into him. “I’ll miss your fireplace though.”

Joel smiles. “Guess I'll just have to keep you warm instead.”

#joel miller #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #hbo tlou #woman (joel miller)#woman (joel’s version)#woman #pedro stories #pedrostories #ppcu fanfiction #ppcu #pedro pascal characters

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soulofapatrick · 1 year

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Your World Hasn’t Stopped - Joel Miller x reader

Summary: Tommy watches as Y/N helps Joel through the panic attack of seeing someone who looks like Sarah

Words: 670+

Warning: panic attacks

Notes: This is just Joel Miller Drabble to test my ability of writing from an outsiders perspective - not my favourite but it’s a first try

Tommy’s POV

I just watch as Joel grabs his jacket and storms out, letting out a sigh as even after all these years he’s still as stubborn as he used to be which means I’m going to have to go after him or this conversation is never going to happen again. I climb to my feet, grabbing my own jacket, throwing back my whiskey and relishing in the nice burn before heading out into the winter air.

Joel’s standing outside, leaning against one of the street lamps and eyes focused intently on a Maria’s younger sister. I know why, I had the same reaction when I met her as she’s the spitting image of Sarah. It took me weeks before I could even approach Cristina as she broke my heart every time she smiled at me and the fact I could have been a great uncle let alone an uncle.

I go to catch up with my older brother and apologise for the way things were handled back there but Maria is grabbing my arm, nodding towards the two girls Joel arrived with, the older is running over to Joel as he’s bent slightly as if having a panic attack. Ellie, the younger just watches from a distance as Y/N reaches Joel, hands going to his face as if it’s the most natural thing.

“Hey, hey, you need to breathe,” She’s saying, slotting herself between Joel and the street lamp so his head falls to her shoulder. She moves her hands from his face to his hair, carding them through Joel’s greying hair and she’s whispering in his ear. I’m too far away to hear it but they way Joel slowly melts into her means whatever she’s saying is working. Joel may not know it but from here it’s obvious to see he’s already found his person, he just needs to let her in as he’s still so guarded about romance from Sarah’s mother. I’m still angry at her for just up and leaving Joel and I with Sarah while she ran off to live her life. They were both young when they had Sarah so as much as I don’t blame her I would have thought she was responsible enough to stay and raise a baby.

Joel’s suddenly standing upright and the pair are just staring at each other, Joel’s chest still heaving as he tries to regain composure and by the looks of it still on the brink of a panic attack. Something crosses Y/N’s face and she’s moving her hands back to Joel’s face before guiding his face down to meet hers. I feel like I should be looking away but I can’t help the swell in my chest because his life hasn’t stopped. He thinks it has but the way Ellie yells ‘finally’ and the way he seems to fall into this kiss shows otherwise. He has a family right here, a woman who loves him and a daughter but the stubborn fool is too closed off to see it I believe.

“You’re okay,” Y/N breathes when they part, eyes searching.

“You kissed me,” Joel retorts, body tensing but he’s not pulling away or making any move to shove her away.

“I read that if you hold your breath it stops a panic attack to when I kissed you, you held your breath,” She explains and the air leaves his shoulders until she grins cheekily and adds, “Maybe you should have panic attacks more often if you’ll let me kiss you.”

“Shut up,” He grumbles, pulling her laughing figure into a hug that has Ellie quickly running over to join in. The teenager practically jumps at them, sending the three of them to the ground with a cry of surprise and then laughter as Joel and Y/N let her join the hug that’s now in the snow.

Maria’s squeezing my shoulder and pulling me away to let them be a family with reassuring words that for once I truly believe:

“He’ll be okay.”

--------

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mariposa-drowned · 7 months

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Hear me out, Ellie x pregnant reader doing the trend where you lift up your s/o belly to relieve the weight and then having a lil heart to heart bc you just feel so useless due to said pregnancy

Ellie was currently scrolling tiktok as you sat on the couch together, your attention being taken up by whatever show you had thrown on TV, not even noticing the sound coming from Ellie's phone, you were so used to her needing multiple different forms of entertainment at the same time that it barley even phased you anymore.

You were eight months pregnant and ready for this baby to be out. You're tired all the time and can't stand for too long without discomfort, which made you feel useless. No matter how much Ellie assured you she was completely fine with taking over daily tasks, even having Joel over sometimes to entertain you while she worked on stuff, or the other way around. Tommy had even been over a few times with Maria as she tried to offer you tips and tricks on how to deal with the discomfort.

Ellie felt terrible that she couldn't do more for you. Besides massages and the occasional sex that you swore helped; Ellie was always looking for ways to help. Which is why when a video popped up of a man getting behind his wife to lift her pregnant belly for a few seconds, Ellie was immediately ushering you up, hoping that you would get the same relief that the girl in the video seemed to get.

"Ellie what the hell are you doing"

"just trust me babe this is gonna feel great"

"don't kill me please. Or the baby"

Ellie rolled her eyes, positioning herself behind you, her long arms coming to intertwine right below your bump.

"kay take a deep breath"

You huffed but did as told. Then a sudden rush of incredible relief filling you as Ellie lifted your bump up you groaned, your hand reaching behind you to entangle itself in Ellie's hair.

"hooolyyy fuck Ellie"

"yeah? That feel good mama?"

"ohmygod can we just stay here for a minute please"

"as long as you need babe"

You were practically on the verge of tears from the relief you were currently feeling, you hand gripping a bit harder where it was entangled in Ellie's hair. She noticed your teary eyes, quickly becoming concerned.

"hey what's wrong am I hurting you?" She worried as she slowly started to drop your belly.

"don't you dare drop your hands Ellie Williams"

You immediately gripped her hand with a force she didn't even know you possessed.

Ellie immediately reassumed her position "christ babe sorry, was just a bit worried when my wife starts crying"

"just feels really fuckin good els" you stated with watery eyes

"hey hey don't cry mama, it's alright I'll do this whenever you need until they're here babe. It's alright"

"m'sorry just feels s'nice, I just feel so useless because I'm so uncomfortable all the time n I can't do anything"

Ellies heart broke a little at your confession "don't be sorry at all, you hear me?" C'mon let's go sit for a minute, I promise I'll do this again later, jus' wanna talk to you"

You leaned your head back to try and meet her eyes, your vision still a bit blurred

"pinky swear?"

"cross my heart babe. C'mon I'm gonna start lowerin my hands now"

You tried to keep her there as long as you could, but inevitably Ellie's hands left their place under your stomach. You sighed as she started to lead you to the couch. She plopped down, spreading her legs and ushering you in-between them to which you promptly did, getting as comfortable as you could in-between her legs.

Ellie grabbed one of your hands, the other resting on your bulging stomach tracing small shapes.

"I need you to listen to me for a minute babe"

You tilted you head back to lean on your shoulder semi-looking at her while humming a small mhm

"I love you. So much. But you need to understand that you are actively making a living being in you right now. You are allowed to be sick and tired and uncomfortable, it's expected. But you need to understand that we are in this together. I will always be here, I want to be here for you, which means that if you can't do something, I pull my weight here. That's my job mama, I gotta take care of you and little bean" Ellie smiled through her last sentence, looking down to meet your smiling face aswell

"I love you els. Thank you, for everything"

"always and forever babe"

"always and forever" you smiled back at her, leaning up to give a peck on Ellie's lips.

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imtryingbuck · 3 months

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Eighteen part two

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.

Word count: 2,240

Warnings: fluff, angst, heavy use of pet names.

A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.

A/N pt 2: when I saw the duck tattoo I screamed, no joke I screamed! Make sure you have a look it’s so bloody cute!

Masterlist Series Masterlist

They spent the rest of the night and early hours of the morning apologising, promising to make up for their mistakes. All three guys crying when she told them how much they had broken her heart, the guilt still there front row and centre but she promised them that it was all forgiven.

Steve and Sam had begged for forgiveness for not being there for her but she reassured them that all was forgiven, that it was time to move on.

Even though all three of them had hurt her and they hadn’t done anything to help her when she needed at least one of them the most, she had forgiven them. She missed them more than anything, they were the other part of her fractured soul.

She didn’t want to hold any grudges against them.

For a whole month Y/n caught up with her boys, caused mayhem just as they did a few years ago.

It was as if nothing had changed.

They didn’t understand what was happening when they showed up to Howard’s and Maria’s house to take Y/n out for the day when she opened the door where they could see two suitcases by her side.

“Bun? You’re leaving again?”

“Yeah only for two months, going to travel with Nat and Wanda. Isn’t that so exciting?” She smiles.

“Yeah, yeah how come you didn’t tell us?”

“I was a bit busy catching up with you guys…”

“Is it going to be just you three?”

“No Pietro, Clint and Vis are coming too”

“Who’s Clint and Vis?”

“Clint’s Natasha’s boyfriend and Vis is Wanda’s”

“Will you be coming back?” Steve asked.

“Yeah of course, then I’ll start my new job. I can’t wait”

“What job?”

“You know Mr Stan? Well he’s given me a job as his accountant”

“I’m so proud of you Bun”

“Thanks Duck-“

“Y/n come on love we’ve got to go” Maria interrupts as she checks over the plane ticket and double checking that Y/n had enough money.

“Okay momma, give me a hug then boys”

For the two next two months Bucky was out of his mind. He wouldn’t sit still for long periods at a time. He had gotten a taste of the happiness he had for years, went without for three years and then he got it back just for it to leave with Y/n once again.

“Buck she’ll be home in a few days”

“It’s been too long man”

“Are you going to tell her?” Sam asks.

“Tell her what?”

“That you’re madly, hopelessly in love with her?”

“No I’m not!”

“Yeah right and I’m Captain America” Steve snorted from the kitchen.

“I’m not in love with Bunny. And plus she’s got a boyfriend and I’m seeing…shit what’s her name?”

Sam burst out laughing, nearly sliding off the chair and Steve shook his head “Lily, Bucky her names Lily”

“Yeah I’m seeing Lily”

“How’s that going Buck?” Sam says as he calms down.

“Great, it’s going great”

“Bullshit she told Sarah that when you two fucked you kept calling her Y/n.”

“No he didn’t!” Steve gasped. Between me and you he already knew.

“Yeah and it’s pretty much the same with every girl he’s slept with, he calls them Y/n’s name” okay Steve hadn’t heard that before.

“Fuck off man, it’s not been with all of them” Bucky weakly tries to defend himself, again just between me and you what he just said was a big fat lie.

“L to the I to the A right down to the R, guess what that spells Buck… liar.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh and plus you have a bunny tattoo on your chest” It was true. On Bucky’s eighteenth birthday he went to the tattoo studio to get his first ever tattoo, he saw it in the book as he flipped through it halting his movements as he saw the cute bunny. It was a lot smaller but he asked the tattooist if he could have it bigger which the guy said yeah, Bucky had him also add the small love heart.

Over the year he got a few more added to his body but his bunny that sat just over his heart was his favourite of them all.

“Don’t mean I’m in love with her”

“Yes. Yes it does.”

“No. No it doesn’t.”

“Steve help me out here man” Sam begs.

“I’m not getting involved. But Bucky your in love with Y/n/n”

Groaning Bucky stands up “fuck you both I’m going out to see Lucy”

“Lily!”

“Yeah her, bye”

“I’m sorry Y/n” Pietro says wiping her tears.

“No it’s okay, I understand honestly”

“I just don’t want to hurt you baby”

“I know Pieface just don’t die please and please be safe”

Laughing sadly at the nickname she had given him he nods with a promise that he’ll be safe.

“I do love you Y/n/n”

“I love you too Pietro”

Giving one final long hug they separate from one another, she watches as he walks through the doors to the airport wiping her fallen tears she smiles and waves at him as he looks back at her, giggles fall from her lips as he pulls a funny face to her.

“Won’t you be able to see him in a few months?” Wanda asks softly.

Shaking her head Y/n shrugs “h-he broke up with me”

“You what?”

“Yeah, he said he doesn’t want to hold me back and wants me to live my life whilst he’s away”

Pietro had told her a few weeks before coming back home that he signed up for the Army and had been accepted. Though he did love her he didn’t want her staying at home worrying about him, he wanted her to experience life and who knows when he got back they could rekindle their relationship, though Pietro knew it was unlikely. He knew that Y/n loved him but he also knew that she was in love with Bucky, and for him there was no way he was going to get in the way of her happiness even if that wasn’t with him and to be truthful he was okay with it.

“Y/n/n I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, it’s fine honestly. Let’s go home I’m missing my bed.”

“I still can’t believe you’re not coming to college with us” Nat says as she pulls on her seatbelt yanking it a little to hard when it gets stuck.

“I know but it’s just not for me you know”

“It’s not going to be the same” Wanda says.

“I guess but you two can’t get another me to add in to your friendship group or I’ll cry”

“Definitely not happening, if another female tries to be our friend we’ll kick them” Nat says seriously.

“Don’t kick them Jesus that’s a bit harsh, just say “no you can’t be our friend because we already have the bestest one” but please don’t kick them”

“I’m kicking them”

Saying her goodbyes as she’s dropped off at home her eyes start to sting with the amount of tears she’s cried. They all promise that they’ll meet up as soon as they can.

As she tells her parents of her adventures and shows them all the photos she had taken, she hands them their gifts.

“You didn’t have to get us anything angel” Howard says loving the pyramid paperweight she had gotten him.

“Alright I’ll take them back”

“Touch it and I’ll bite you”

Gasping she looks at her mom “momma did you just hear what he said?”

“I did sweetie but I have to agree your not taking these back” admiring the snow globe she had gotten, already knowing exactly where it was going, adding it to the collection she had been collecting since she was twenty.

“Where’s Antonio?”

“I’ve told you time and time again not to call me that, hey baby sis” hugging his sister he checks the bag for his gift.

“It’s not in there Tone, it’s outside”

“What have you gotten me?”

“A car”

“Holy shit! Really? I knew there was a reason why I kept you around”

“Yep come on” Her, Tony, Howard and Maria make their way outside.

“Whe-what the hell is this Y/n?”

“A car” she laughs along with her parents as Tony picks up a toy car off the ground. “I brought you a car”

“You’re such a little shit!” He laughs along. “Oh nice new tat”

“Cheers”

“You got another one?” Maria asks wanting to see it.

“Yeah it’s a turtle his names Sid, isn’t he cute?”

“Sid?” Howard questions.

“Yeah, we went to a sea life centre and we got to meet Sid the turtle, so naturally I had to add him to the collection”

“Obviously” Tony rolls his eyes.

“Anyway I’m going to go to the boy’s apartment and give them their gifts see you later”

“Be careful!” Maria calls out.

Panting as she knocks on the door she nearly collapses into Sam’s arms when he opens the door.

“Jesus Y/n, Holy shit guys Y/n’s back!”

“I can taste blood in my mouth is-is that normal?” She asks.

“Are you alright?”

“No Samuel I’m not alright I’ve just walked up a trillion stairs just to get here! Why do you have to live so far up?”

“It’s easier when the elevator works” he grins.

“Hey Y/n/n” Steve says hugging her.

“Hi Stevie”

The three of them hear hurried footsteps coming towards them and when they look they see Bucky rushing down the hallway “shit, Bunny you’re back! I nearly fell in the shower trying to rush to get out” he pants pulling her into a bone crushing hug.

“I-I-I’m sorry but…Ducky…”

“What’s up Bun?” He follows her eye line and he’s realised his mistake. In his rush he managed to pull on some shorts but no shirt.

Meaning that she can see the bunny tattoo.

And unbeknownst to either one, they don’t realise that Sam and Steve have their eyes trained on the tattoo she has on the top of her spine.

“That’s a bunny” she points of the obvious.

“Yeah, yeah it is”

“Why?”

“For you”

“When did you get it done?”

“On my eighteenth birthday”

“And it’s for me?” Watching as he nods “can I?” He nods again to the unspoken part of her question, his skin tingles as she reaches out and runs her fingers over the delicate lines.

“Oh Duck it’s beautiful”

“Your hiding your own little secret aren’t you Y/n” Sam smiles.

“What are they talking about Bun?”

“I-um-I got this done on my eighteenth birthday” she says turning in his hold to show him her tattoo.

“Bun, it’s us. Can I?” It’s her turn to nod at his unspoken words she gasps lightly when his cold fingers trace the lines, he’s so mesmerised by the details and polka dots that he simply couldn’t stop touching it. “Bun it’s so beautiful”

“It was my first tattoo, obviously”

“So was mine”

“I actually feel really left out” Sam admits wrapping his arms around Steve’s “Stevie they don’t love us”

“That’s not true because-“ she rolls her sleeves up to her elbows and shows them the tattoos she had gotten for them ‘♡ S.R ♡ ♡ S.W ♡’ with a love heart on the top of her forearms. Not batting an eye at the scars the two boys lean in as Bucky leans over her shoulder.

“Who’s who?” Sam grins “but Y/n you actually got our initials tattooed on you?”

“Your obviously SR idiot and yeah of course I did, these were my second tattoos”

“B-but we weren’t friends at the time” Steve says as he eyes the long jagged scars.

“Well you three were a massive parts of my life and the reason why I got the duck and bunny on my back was because Bucky was the first person to see the scars once they where heeled and he never once judged me so”

“Y/n…”

“Anyways you want your presents, I’m like Santa but less cool” she moves out of Bucky’s hold and makes her way over to her bag and started to pull out the gifts, laughing as Sam stands there with his eyes closed and hands out stretched. Steve shakes his head at the guy.

Bucky, well his eyes are trained on his Bunny.

He knew he was in love with her since he was fourteen and now he wonders if she feels the same.

“So how’s you and Peter doing?” Bucky asks as they wait for Steve and Sam to come back with the pizzas.

“Pietro, and he broke up with me”

“What? Why?”

“He joined the Army and he said he didn’t want me to be waiting around on him, that it wasn’t fair for him to do that to me so yeah”

“Bun I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, I actually understand why he did it you know? And there’s no hard feelings about it.”

When the boys got back laughter filled the apartment as the boys filled her in on what they had been up to during them two months she wasn’t with them and her telling them about her adventures.

It was way past midnight when Sam stretched and looked over at Y/n and Bucky curled up on the couch fast asleep.

“Steve, how long you think she’s been in love with him?” He whispered so he wouldn’t wake the pair up.

“I think just as long as he’s been with her”

And Steve was right.

Tags: @cjand10 @unaxv @mcira @bisexualnikkisixx @kneelforloki @kandis-mom @sagebarness @sandyruston @scott-loki-barnes @nikkivillar @saltedcoffeescotch @scentedharmonymiracle @examinarei @sarcastickiddo @sadboiabby @unholyhuntress @8crazy-freak8 @ijustneedpopcorn @moonbeampillgoth @imcinnamoons @elmo-1066 @violetwinterwidow01 @suz7days @adoredire @ozwriterchick @randomrosie01 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @emerald-writes @justafangir1 @sibsteria @spencerreidisagorgman @sapphirebarnes @bruher @hawkinsavclub1983 @onlyonetifosi @parisadams @unabashedstarlightcrown @nash-dara @allofffmypeaches @loki-laufeyson68 @behindmygreyeyes @missvelvetsstuff @pigeonmama @lizslibrary @gloriouspurpose01

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barns x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #marvel fic #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes fluff #Through The Years #bucky barnes angst #bucky series #bucky barnes fanfiction #james Barnes #james barnes x you #Bucky Barnes female reader #bucky barnes friends to lovers

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supernaturalgirl20 · 1 year

Text

Letting Go

Pairings: Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, cursing, light smut, unprotected sex, talking about the past, hurt feelings, Joel being mean, fluff. Contains spoilers for episode 6.

Summary: you think Joel doesn’t care, the problem is, he cares too much.

A/N: wrote this in an hour so forgive any mistakes. Still can’t get episode 6 out of my head and I had to write this.

Comments and reblogs really appreciated 🥰

You knew his past. His losses. His guilt. How he shut himself off from the world once the outbreak happened and you were happy with your lot when a close partnership turned into something more.

Warmth on a cold night and a body to lose yourself in when shit got rough, which if you were honest with yourself, happened more times than not.

What you didn’t know was how he truly felt. About Tess dying, about Tommy leaving, about Ellie and the possibility of a cure, you didn’t even know if he felt anything for you beyond lust. Joel held everything in revealing nothing of the man he truly was.

You’d grown used to it. Used to him never showing an ounce of emotion other than anger. That all changed the night you made it to Jackson.

***

Ellie had stood, eyes flickering around the hall as she began to follow Tommy, abandoning the movie that was showing. Her curiosity getting the better of her as usual and unable to shake the anxious feeling that settled in your stomach, you followed her.

The cold air hit you like a frate train and your whole body shuddered as you emerged from the hall, pulling your jacket up over your mouth. Turning the corner onto the main street you stop in your tracks when you spot Ellie standing outside one of the small buildings, ears glued to the door.

Your gut told you that Tommy and Joel were inside and from the look on her face, they’d been talking about her. Suddenly she rushes off with tears in her eyes and you instinctively want to run after her, comfort her but you need to know what they were talking about.

Pressing your ear against the door, you can make out the muffled sound of Joel’s voice. He’s crying. A fact that completely tilts you off axis. Joel never cries. At least not that you’ve ever seen. Your heart begins to break.

“I just know that when I wake up. I’ve lost somethin’. I’m failin’ in my sleep, that’s all do. It’s all I’ve ever done is fail her, again and again.”

The strangled sob he lets out at the end obliterates whatever remains of your shattered heart and all you wanna do is hold him close until you’ve mended him. Put every broken piece of him back together until he can see his worth.

He asks Tommy to take Ellie to the fireflies and you are suddenly hit with a wave of anger. How can he so easily let her go? You know she means something to him even if he is unwilling to admit it to himself.

Unable to listen anymore, you turn and march back to the house Maria had set up for you all. Maybe Joel could leave her but you couldn’t.

***

As soon as you open the door you can hear her sniffling from upstairs. With a glance around the house, you decided to make some of the tea Maria had left you and bring a cup up to Ellie. Your mom always said that tea solves everything.

Maybe not this, but it couldn’t hurt.

“Can I come in?” You ask as you stand outside her door, two cups of tea in hand. You're met with silence and just as you're about to turn and leave, Ellie slowly opens the door.

Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and you smile softly down at her as you hand her a cup. “Thought you might like some tea. It warms the soul or so they say.”

She smiles at you as she wipes the tears from her eyes and takes the cup from your hand. “Thanks.”

She moves away from the door but leaves it open, an invitation to follow. With the door closed gently behind you, you make your way over to the bed, taking a seat as Ellie sits in the window seat.

The room is quiet. Neither one of you says anything as you sip your tea. You want her to be the first to talk.

“You followed me didn’t you?” Her voice is strained from crying as she turns her gaze to you.

“Yeah, M’sorry I just-I was worried about you…”

“It’s ok. You don't have to apologise.” She quiets again and her gaze drifts back to the cup in her hands. Standing you make your way over to her and take a seat beside her pulling her close.

“He’s going to leave me. Everyone leaves me..” she trails off as she cuddles into you. “I’m not leaving you. I promise.” You squeeze her arm as you pull her closer and you both just sit like that for a moment until the sound of footsteps can be heard ascending the stairs.

The door opens and Ellie’s gaze snaps towards Joel. The expression on his face is hard to read but you know he knows that Ellie heard what he said.

He tells her how old he is and how she would only be in danger if she went with him. That she was better off without him. The whole time you hold her close to your side until she pulls away and storms over to him.

“I’m sorry about your daughter Joel, but I’ve lost people too.” You can tell from the set of his shoulders that she’s hit a nerve.

“You have no idea what loss is.” His voice is an equal mixture of hurt and anger as he towers over her. The urge to step in gets more prominent as the conversation continues.

“Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me. Everybody, fucking except for you.” She shouts as she pushes against isn’t his chest. “So don’t tell me that I’d be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared.”

The room is silent for a moment but then Joel turns his gaze back towards Ellie, his voice void of emotions as he stares her down. “You’re right. You’re not my daughter. And I sure as hell ain’t your dad.”

He turns and storms out, slamming the door behind him and Ellie stands motionless as her gaze remains on where he had just stood. You walk up behind her and hug her close. “It’s gonna be ok, I promise. And I know Joel didn’t mean what he said. He’s just emotional right now. I think everything is finally catching up to him. Just get some rest and we’ll take off in the morning, ok?”

Your voice is above a whisper as you give her one last squeeze, Ellie’s nod confirming that she’d heard you and then you leave to find Joel.

***

It doesn’t take long. He had made his way into the other bedroom and was sitting on the bed with his head between his hands when you opened the door.

He didn’t acknowledge you. Didn’t even lift his head as you slowly walked towards him, dropping to your knees and nestling yourself between his open legs.

Your hands rub along his arms as you pull them away from his face and when his gaze meets yours, you can see the unshed tears. Oh, Joel.

You reach up and wipe a rogue tear that has fallen down his cheek and his eyes close at the contact as he sinks his cheek into your embrace. “What’s going on Joel? Why are you just leaving her with Tommy?” You ask even though you already know the answer. You just don’t want him to know you heard his conversation with his brother.

“I’m old. I’m deaf. And I can’t shoot for shit anymore and you know that. She’s better off without me. So are you.” His tone has changed and you know that this is how he deals with his feelings. Buries them deep inside and pretends that he doesn’t care.

“And you think Tommy is gonna be able to take care of her? The brother who didn’t even care enough to tell you he was ok? Joel, you may be older but he ain’t gonna give a shit about Ellie, not like you. So when things get hard, and they will, he’s gonna cut loose and run home to Maria.”

His eyes darken and his jaw ticks as he stares down at you, the softness from a moment ago long gone.

“You don’t know Tommy. Hell, you don’t even know me. You don’t know what I’ve been through, what I’ve done. Not really.” His tone is angry now but you’re not giving in.

“And whose fault is that? We’ve been together for years and I’ve tried to get you to open up but every time you get close, you clam up. I know you blame yourself for Sarah.”

He stands at the mention of her name pushing you off him and moving to the other side of the room, trying to put as much distance as he can between you both.

“Don’t. Mention her name. You don’t know shit. And we ain’t together. You were just a warm body to bury myself in, Nothin’ else. Don’t go thinkin’ you mean anything to me, 'cause you don’t.” He snaps, his whole body tense as he breathes raggedly.

Your chest tightens at his harsh words but after hearing him with Tommy earlier, you know he doesn’t mean it. That he just wants to push you away.

“I know that you have done terrible things to survive because that’s what needed to be done. I know that Tess’ death hit you hard because she was like family. I know you care for Ellie like a daughter but are afraid to admit it because you think you’re replacing Sarah.”

You try to step closer but he pulls back. “Tess was family. Been with me since the beginning and she knew how it was. How I was. You thought, what, that you were different? That I’d care for you? That I’d love you? Well hate to break it to you darlin’, I don’t. Never have, never will.”

Your heart aches. Your chest hurts. And all you wanna do is cry. His words cut deep even though that small voice in the back of your head is telling you he means the exact opposite.

A strangled sob slips past your lips and your body begins to tremble. Something that seems to snap Joel from his trance. He moves fast. Wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close, his face buried into the crook of your neck as he breathes you in.

“M’sorry, baby. I didn’t mean it…I didn’t…” his voice breaks as fresh tears roll down his cheeks and you run your fingers through his hair as you shush him. “It’s ok. I know. I know. Let’s just lay down, and get some rest.”

He nods his head as you pull away and guide him toward the bed, helping him out of his shirt and trousers, leaving him in only his boxers. He doesn’t argue that it’s safer to stay dressed because he needs to be close to you.

You help him under the covers before stripping off, throwing on his shirt and slipping under into bed with him. He pulls you close. His breath is hot on your skin as he whispers into the shell of your ear. “I do you know, love you.”

Your breath catches. You had long thought you’d never hear him utter those words. Turning in his embrace you kiss his lips softly. “I know you do. And I love you too.”

It’s silent as you take in the feature of his face, illuminated by the faint light coming through the curtains. “I heard you earlier….talking to Tommy. I didn’t mean to, I just….I know you blame yourself for Sarah but Joel, that wasn’t your fault. None of it was. Not Sarah, not Tess, none of it.”

You run your fingers along the stubble on his cheek. “I know you care about Ellie, that she’s like a daughter to you and Joel, that’s ok. It’s ok to feel like that. To care. I know I didn’t know Sarah but I know she wouldn’t want you to be like this. She’d want you to be happy.”

“I just can’t fail her. I failed Sarah. I can’t do it again.” His grip on your waist tightens.

“You won’t because you have me this time. I’m gonna be with you every step of the way. No matter what.”

His lips crash into yours as he lays you back in the bed, nestling himself between your thighs. You can feel him hard beneath his boxers and you know what he needs. What he’s always needed.

“I love you darlin’. M’sorry it took so long to say it.” His lips leave a trail of hot kisses along your neck as he pulls at the buttons in your shirt. His shirt.

You slip your hand between you both and beneath the band of his boxers, feeling the weight of his cock in your hand as you pump him slowly. He groans into your chest as his breathing hitches. “Need you, darlin’.”

“Then take me. I’m yours.” You whimper and he shudders above you as he shucks off his boxers. “Need me to get you ready, baby?” He asks through ragged breaths.

You shake your head. “Are ya sure?”

“I’m sure. Please, Joel. Need to feel you.” Pulling your panties to the side he lines up the head of his cock to your entrance and sinks himself into you slowly, groaning at the feeling of your tight walls stretching to accommodate him.

He moves above you, rolling his hips into you slowly, savouring the feeling of you wrapped around him. Something you don’t normally have time for.

Through soft whimpers and low moans, he works you through orgasm as he seeks his release, grunting loudly into your neck as he comes apart above you. Both too lost in each other to realise he’s come inside you.

The weight of the day begins to take hold and you feel yourself slowly succumb to sleep. You whimper as he pulls out, feeling empty without him as he walks through to the en-suite and grabs a washcloth to clean you with.

Slipping under the covers once more he pulls you flush to his chest, draping his arm over your waist. “We should get some sleep. Gonna be a long trek to the fireflies,” he mutters as he drifts further into sleep.

You can’t help the smile that works its way onto your face. Turns out, Joel Miller does care.

Everything: @maievdenoir @amneris21 @hnt-escape @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @jediknight122 @ayrusss @hayley-the-comet @sherala007 @alexxavicry @scorpio-marionette @donnaa @practicalghost @tanzthompson @beskarprincessjenny @littlemisspascal @icanbeyourjedi @thatpinkshirt @maryfanson @sunnshineeexoxo @misspearly1 @misspearlssideblog @athalien @its--fandom--darling @sara-alonso @doommommy @browneyes-issac @trickstersp8 @nembees @kaitieskidmore1 @mswarriorbabe80 @allthe-ships @tintinn16 @hungrhay @rosie-posie08 @manuymesut @all-the-way-down-here @iccedays @tusk89 @graciexmarvel @pedrostories @musings-of-a-rose @untitledarea @your-voice-is-mellifluous @majestyjade @avengersfan25

#pedro pascal #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x female reader #joel miller #joel miller x you #pedro pascal fanfiction #tlou

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cxrsed-angel · 1 year

Text

Similar Worries

Word count: 3k

Warnings: angst, age gap (reader in her 20s, joel in his 50s).

A/N: I wrote this immediately after ep 6. There are spoilers for the episode. gif credits: @joel-miller

You had been walking in the woods for few hours after you left the couple’s cabin. You were in the back talking to Ellie, telling her how she cant go around tell people they’re like a thousand, especially when they didn't kill you and had given you soup.

When you see Joel stop walking, you walk up closer and see him breathing heavier. You put your hand on his shoulder, watching in fear as he grabbed his chest; you didn't know what to do if he had a heart attack in the middle of the fucking woods in the snow.

“Joel, what's wrong, are you okay.” you watch in a panic as he nods his head, but he's still breathing heavily. You look around, trying to find somewhere for him to sit but there’s nothing. You try to calm yourself because the last thing you need is to freak out, making Ellie even more scared. You turned to look at Ellie but she was frozen in fear staring as Joel continue struggling to breathe behind you. Your attention is back on him when you heard his voice.

“Im fine, just the cold air.” he said slowly, still trying to catch his breath; Ellie nods and walks closer. But you stay silent, frozen in fear trying to rake your brain for any information on heart attacks but you come up blank. You realized didn't know what you would do if he had a heart attack; you're more mad at yourself at the fact that this situation hadn’t even crossed your mind.

“Good because I don't know what we would do if you had a fucking heart attack right there.” You hear Joel let out a small laugh at Ellie’s joke as she lightly slapping his back as the two of them continued to walk ahead. But you didn't believe him. Ellie was right; what do you do if he has fucking heart attack in the middle of the goddamn forest in the snow. You knew it was something more than the cold air but decided not to press on it. But you kept an eye on him the rest of the way.

The whole time you were walking, you were quiet. You tried not to show it but, it really scared you, it made you realize how old Joel was compared to; you always knew of course. When he complained about his knees when going upstairs, he talked about his back pain from sleeping on the ground countless nights. But it was always light-hearted, not life or death. You knew he had bad hearing from shooting, but this scared the shit out of you.

When you were surrounded by the group, you saw Joel was different again, he was off, but you didn't have time to focus on it. You were just relieved they didn't shoot anyone. As you rode on the back of Joel’s horse, all that replayed in your head was how Joel seemed off. Something in his eyes that you couldn't quite figure out. You think back and remember he seemed off ever since you guys had left Kanas; you just never noticed until now, and with the troubled breathing, you were starting to get concerned.

After Maria and Tommy gave you guys food and told you what house you would be in you immediately needed to show, you also thought it was best to let Joel talk to his brother alone. You went into what you assumed was the main bedroom to shower. After the shower and changing into some clothes, you sit on the bed, and you could hear Maria come and talk to Ellie, you knew you should see what they were talking about, but you figured Maria wouldn't do anything. As you sit on the bed, you couldn't stop seeing Joel struggling to breathe, and how helpless you were, you didn't know what to do, you couldn't save him you just watched. You had gotten lucky today, but one day you're not gonna be lucky; what if you can't save him, just freeze there like you did today? Tears fall down your face as you realize how little you could do.

You hear boots come in the room and assume it was Joel; you look up and see him looking at you. You could tell had been crying, you expect him to sit down next to you, but he stays standing, staring at you. “Have you been crying,” you asked quietly, looking at him, You could see in his eyes something wasn't right, and you wondered if it was something had happened. You waited for him to say something, but he remained silent, staring at you. You try not to sniffle but couldn't help it.

“Have you been crying.” he repeats as he steps closer to the bed, but you weren't gonna let him change the topic off of him.

“You first.” you said through snuffles.

“It was just emotionally seeing Tommy, that's all.” you stare back at him, you knew it wasn't that, and you were a little offended that he thought that would work on you. You knew him better than that. But two could play that game.

You took your shoes off and climb up into bed and lie down. Joel watches you, confused with frown eyebrows. You let out a fake cry, “it's my period, my emotions and hormones and everything.” You tell him with exaggerated sadness laced in your voice. You knew you were being childish, but you didn't care; you weren't gonna let him get away with that shitty lie.

He rolls his eyes at your sarcasm as he gives you a deadpan stare. “Really?” was all he said, which made you even more upset. You sit up on the bed and stand up, glaring at him as he remained on the bed. You had been worried all day about him, and he wanted to be closed off to you; you weren't gonna take it.

“No Joel don't “really” me you know it's bullshit either tell me or dont tell me, but dont lie to me, god forbid I ask you what's wrong.” you couldn't stand him right now you turn to leave the room, but he voice stopped you making you turn around.

“We’re staying here,” he mumbled quietly as he stares at the ground, adverting your eyes. You frown at him, not understanding what he meant. You hated when he talked in half sentences leaving out details. Who was we, why are we staying here, and also, why had he been crying?

“What” you asked sternly, pissed at him for not being clear and deflecting the topic yet again. You walk closer to him, narrowing your eyes at him, waiting for Joel to answer. Joel sighs before looking up into your eyes, “You and I are staying in Jackson, it's safe they have food and shelter it's better for you.” he explains, but his voice is still shaky you could tell he was leaving something out and considering the fact he didn't mention Ellie you knew there was more than what he was saying. Also, he didn't talk to you about it; if you wanted to stay or not, you weren't gonna let him dictate where you go and make important choices without.

You nod, “okay, well me and Ellie will go to the fireflies to make a cure, you can stay here and live out your suburban fantasy okay.” you replay, full of sarcasm; you watch as Joel's face frowns in frustration. He shakes his head and puts his face in his hands for a few minutes before looking back at the ground.

“You and I are staying, Tommy is taking Ellie, he’s made the trip before, and he can handle it.”. You were getting tired and annoyed with this whole conversation going in circles and getting nowhere. You didn't understand why he wanted to leave Ellie; why didn't he want to continue? You’ve already gotten this far. But you stopped and remembered earlier when he couldn't breathe, and it clicked. You saw it in his eyes when Sam attacked Ellie when the dog started sniffing Ellie. It wasn't a heart attack. It was a panic attack. He was scared.

Your eyes softened when you realized and came and sit down next to him. You place your hand on his face, slowly turning it, so he's looking at you. “Joel it wasn't the cold air wasn't it,” you stare full of concern into his brown eyes. You knew you were right when you see a tear fall down his cheek. You grab his hand in yours, rubbing it slowly; you didn't say anything, just waiting until he was ready.

It was quiet for a moment as he cried silently before speaking again. “I get these dreams it’s a different situation, but they all end the same you or Ellie, or hell sometimes the both of you, dead while I just stand there frozen not doing anything, just like I did with-” you watch, choke back a sob before continuing. “Im just failing, I failed Tess, and Sarah, and in my dreams, I fail you and Ellie that’s all I do is fail.” his voice breaks at the end of the sentence as he continues to cry.

You feel your heart break at how much pain he has been in and how this had been hurting him for so long. You reach up to his face wiping the tears as they continue to fail. You stay silent, waiting for him to finish. You feel him lean into your hand as you gently caressed his face. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before continuing.

“I don't know what I’ll do if something happened to you or Ellie, I froze when that kid came up behind me, too damn old to hear them and too slow to do something. I couldn't hear when Henry and Sam snuck up on us. It's only a matter of time before I fuck up and put someone in danger, until I freeze at the wrong time again. Lately I've been so godman scared that my heart feels like it stopping and-”

“and you can't breath and you get dizzy like you're gonna pass out.” you interrupt him, knowing how it feels. You see his eyes widen a little when you describe what happens. You’ve had panic attacks before you knew they were scary as shit. You remember the first time you felt one you thought you were dying.

You wipe another tear that falls from his eyes. “They happen to me too sometimes, not as bad when I was on my own after my parents died. I used to get them almost every day then, I got one the first time I saw a clicker all, I did was crouch down to the floor into ball and cried until it went away then I ran. You’re not failing Joel, you arent gonna fail, You didnt fail when you got us out of Kansas with all those infected and a whole town chasing after us.” you looked into his eyes, but you could tell he was still uncertain, they were still full of worry and disbelief

“Joel its okay to be afraid I’m fucking terrified almost all the time, Im scared that one of us is gonna catch a cold in the middle of the winter and die, Im scared Im gonna sneeze at the wrong time a room full of clickers and get ripped apart, Im scared-” you paused as you felt your tears coming again, “Im scared Im not gonna be able to protect you, that something gonna happen and I won't be able to do anything to help you.” you smile faintly “I guess we have similar fears huh Texas” you tried to lighten the mood as you continue to cry.

You see him start to smile too through the tears; his hand came up and wiped your tears. You feel his hand wrap around your waist, pulling you into a hug as your cries came out harder. You thought back on how you thought he was having a heart attack and how helpless you were.

“You fucking scared me back there, thought you were having a heart attack or something.” you pull away looking into his eyes as yours were filled with tears. “I cant fucking save you from a heart attack Joel, you get shot I know what to do, you get stabbed I know what to but-” You feel yourself choke on your sobs, unable to speak for a second. “I always thought a bite was the worst I had to worry about, you cant come back from a bite, I cant do anything about that, I made peace with that, but what about heart attack, or heart failure, what the fuck do I do then?” You cry out as he pulled back into a hug, rubbing your back as you try to steady your breath.

You close your eyes as you relax against his chest, and you stay there, in each other embrace, as your comfort each other through your similar worries. Joel pulls away first gazing into your teary eyes. He wants to comfort you, reassure you, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He wants to tell you that nothing gonna happen to him, but he can't. He understands where you're coming from, he's nearing his 60s while you're still in your 20s. He hates himself for allowing you to get this close; he knew you were younger, that you deserved someone better than an old man. But you convinced him, told him over and over that you only wanted him.

“How about we cross that bridge when we get there okay honey.” he attempted to reassure you but you looked into his eyes, seeing the wrinkles around the outside of his eyes, across his forehead, and lining the rest of his face, the grey in his facial hair and you couldn't you, couldn't do that because you’ll be unprepared when you got to that bridge there’s no crossing it.

You shake you head as you feel your eyes filling with tears again, “I cant Joel, I cant fucking wait because we wont cross it I will, just me and Ellie watching as you fall to the ground unable to do shit.” Your lips trembling thinking about him being in pain and dying while you stand there frozen with Ellie in horror helplessly. “I dont want to lose you Joel not like that.” you whispered before leaning back into his arms.

Joel thought about it and knew you were right; he knew you were gonna worry yourself to death about his health, and there want much else he could do to change that at the moment. So he just continued holding you in his arms, racking his brain for a solution but there wasn't an easy fix. He thinks about your words earlier, and how you were so good and quick to guarantee that he hasn't failed and that he wasn't going to, he wanted to do the same for you. But he couldn't find the right then to say, so he let you sob into his shoulder until he hears you stop.

“My brother gonna be a dad.” you widen your eyes at the sentence he just blurted out; you pull away, wiping the tears and snot off your face; you stare into his eyes, confused, until you realized what's happening. “You dont know what to say do you.” you watched as he nodded his head, disappointed at himself for not being able to get his words out, but you didn't blame him; you knew he said more through actions. You remember the first time he tried to say you’re more than a friend to him and watched as he continuously rambled about how much you mean to him and getting so far off topic he started using construction terms as a metaphor for your relationship. You knew what he meant. But you let him continue fumbling over his words before saying you felt the same. Since then, you’ve got used to him showing how he cares about you through his action and not getting too mad at his lack of communication.

“Do you wanna talk about that or were you just trying to lighten the mood.” You asked him. You knew talking about babies, and parenting was hard for him, but you were unsure if he was ready to talk about how that information was affecting him. You watched as he shook his head and knew he was trying to lighten the mood; at least that was his intention, not quite sure it worked.

“Trying to lighten the mood but I think I did the opposite.” he replied with an unsure smile; you let out a small laugh at his awkwardness, finding it cute. You nod and leaned forward, kissing his cheek. Before laying in the bed, you watch as he took his shoes off and joined you, laying in front of you pressing his back against you chest. Your arms wrap around his waist as you relaxed against him. You knew that both you and him had a lot of things that you’ll probably never gonna heal from or not worry about. You knew there's always gonna be a wound and hole in him from his daughter, and you were always gonna worry about him and his health, But at least you had each other at this moment; that was all you focused on.

“I love you Joel, I know its hard but well figure it out, well get through this together, you arent alone.” you spoke softly as your head lay on his shoulder. You feel his hand come on top of yours as it rested on his stomach, rubbing them.

“I know baby, I-uh I love you too.” he whispers back; you smile against his shoulder as he verbally said it back for the first time. You didn't want to make too big a deal of it; you always knew he loved you. He showed it in multiple ways, but you will admit it sounded nice. you snuggled up, pulling him closer into your chest as you closed your eyes and let this awful day end.

#angel writes #joel <3 #the last of us #tlou spoilers #tlou hbo #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #Joel miller x reader angst #joel miller angst

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abbyromanoff · 9 months

Text

SAFE NOW

PAIRINGS: Maria Hill x reader

WORD COUNT: 3538

WARNINGS: angst, fluff, smut, overstimulation, edging, masturbation, injuries, soft!Maria, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, daddy (M), praise, degradation, comfort, fingering, cunnilingus, think that’s all :)

This is for my wifey @sapphickorro 😘 I’ll be expecting a ring in return

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

“We need a medic as soon as we land, we’re now twenty minutes out!” Natasha yelled into the coms, her free hand pressing down on your open wound, her weight causing the blood that was pouring out of you rapidly to slow down. Your eyes were fluttering shut as your body grew tired and weak, but you knew you had to try.

“C’mon, Y/N, stay with me.” You were trying, but it took only two minutes before your body gave up, your eyelids closing over as your heartbeat slowed. It wasn’t gone, but it wasn’t at a safe rate either. Nat was freaking out, not only because of the fear of losing you but dealing with your girlfriend would be even worse than the grief. She’d kill her, and not many were able to have such a privilege when it came to the Black Widow.

The quinjet landed, at last, gusts of wind nearly knocking down the bystanders. The doctors and nurses stood within a good distance with the hospital bed ready to bring you to safety. Maria was there too, a cold and hard expression sporting her face. She was more so worried than mad, but she would never show anyone that vulnerability, only you had that prerogative.

When the entrance opened, they were met with you being held in Nat’s arms, your limp body only frightening the others. It was supposed to be an easy mission, with no great danger that the two of you would need to keep watch of. Of course, both of you kept your guard up in case that happened to be wrong, and it was.

Luckily and unluckily for Nat, you were the only one who had gotten injured in the pair, but that only made Maria’s hatred and indignation for the redhead rise. She was already preparing the speeches to tell the agent, but none would reduce the hidden sadness she held deep in her chest.

“You better have an explanation for this, Romanoff.” She muttered, following the women and few men who rushed you inside. She gulped fearfully, hiding her face from anyone who had visible eyesight. She didn’t show emotions, especially not fear. And especially not if it’s caused by someone with less power and authority than her. But the woman scared her and many others to death, even more so when you were the topic. She’d kill anyone for even looking at you the wrong way. To her, you were just a sweet little thing that she needed to protect at all costs.

“Are they going to be okay?” Maria’s jaw was clenched tightly as she spoke, her arms crossed over her chest as her hands balled into fists.

“Uh, y-yes, Ms. Hill, they’ll be alright. They’re going to need to receive stitches and will be supplied with multitudes of pain medication, but we were able to stop the bleeding and, thankfully, no arteries were hit.” The doctor stuttered out, it wasn’t every day that you were met with an angry woman who could and has killed many. She nodded and sent her appreciation to the brunette, turning to face Nat who held her hands on her hips.

“I am so sorry-”

“If something like this ever happens again I will not hesitate to kill you, got me?” She cut her off, obtaining a nod from the redhead. She wasn’t one to allow threats to come her way, but she felt as though she deserved this one.

Maria took a seat in the waiting room chair, running her hands through her hair as tears threatened to fall. She didn’t cry, she promised herself she never would. But the thought of losing you, the only person she ever truly loved and cared for, everything was just too much. She broke down in the empty hallway, not caring to see if others were nearby; she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything at that moment besides you. Were you going to make it? Sure you would, that’s what the doctors said. But what if you didn’t? What if your last time together was spent as a goodbye and your last breathing moment was spent saving others? What if she’d forget your comforting voice after you were gone? What if she lost all the small moments that brought her more joy than imaginable?

“Ms. Hill? You can now visit them if you’d like, they’re expected to wake in only a few hours.” She hadn’t even realized how long she had been out here, the clock ticking every second being the only reminder of time. She stood quickly, rushing past the open door and stopping in her tracks when she saw you. You were hooked up to multiple IVs and wore a nightgown that they had supplied you with. There was no passion on your face like usual, it was instead blank as you slept. She had never seen you so pale, it felt wrong. You were still beautiful in her eyes, you’d always be, but this wasn’t you.

You were in pain, and she disrelished in the knowledge that she wasn’t there to help you, she could only watch as you suffered. But she stayed, she continued to sit right next to you, your limp hand in her own, waiting for you to wake. She didn’t fall asleep despite her tiredness; she was exhausted but refused to miss the moment your eyes opened again.

“Mar?” She heard your frail voice, her head shooting up along with her body.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m right here.” She wanted to bring you in for a hug and tell you how stupid you were, the IVs prevented that, however.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to protect Natasha.” She smiled at your confession, chuckling to herself as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“It’s alright, you just need to be a bit more careful next time, okay?” You tried to nod, only to feel a shooting pain in your head. You needed rest, so with a lingering kiss to your forehead, she let you fall back into a slumber as she joined, trying to find comfort in the hard chair.

It only took a few weeks before you were back to brand new, you still had your scar and Maria had to tend to it multiple times a day but other than that you were yourself again. You had already gotten strict discipline for your actions, she wasn’t pleased. You weren’t the only one though, Nat got one, Fury got one, and even the medics received their own version when they had slipped up one day by accidentally dropping your food during delivery.

“Does that hurt?” Maria asked when you hissed in pain, the alcohol pad doing no such healing but instead worsening your agony. You were forced to bite down on a cloth the first time after you screamed loud enough for someone to think you were being murdered.

“What do you think?” She glared up at you, and that instantly threw away your smirk. She sighed heavily while placing the bandaid on your skin along with the cooling gel. Surprisingly for a stab wound, it wasn’t that large of a gash.

“I already told you, Mar, I’m sorry. But how is it fair that you get to put your life on the line daily and the one time I do you’re mad at me?” You asked, growing frustrated with how she’s been treating you. It wasn’t fair, you worried about her constantly but you would never throw anger towards her for such acts, you knew what her job requirements were.

“I’m not mad at you, Y/N.” She noted, packing away the supplies and putting them in the cabinets below the sink. Her hands gripped the counter hard, her fingertips turning red.

“Really? Because it seems like it-” You were cut off by a groan in pain, clutching onto your waist as you nearly toppled over. Maria rushed to your side, holding you upright and being careful to not touch your wound.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you.” You tried ushering out apologies, but the pain was too great.

“Don’t apologize, I’m not mad. Why don’t you sit for a while, okay?” She walked you to the edge of the bed now that you exited the bathroom, letting you sit and flinching at your cries of torment.

“Sit with me, please.” She nodded and took the spot next to you, holding your free hand in her own and kissing the back of it gently. She brushed the hair out of your face and wrapped the same arm around your back after, being careful where to rest her palm.

“Is this okay?” You shook your head yes and rested your head on her shoulder, letting out deepened breaths that came to a regular.

“I think it went away.” You mumbled, feeling the scorching pain dissolve slowly. It felt like an electric shock on your skin, but it eased away once you were able to rest your body once more. Maria smiled and rubbed your back soothingly, placing another peck on your head where she was able to catch the scent of your shampoo.

“I’m not mad at you, you know.” You moved your head so you’d be able to look at her, only to find her eyes not able to line up with yours.

“I’m mad at myself if anything. I should’ve been there, I should’ve done more, I don’t know. I just- I hate seeing you like this, it kills me to know you’re in pain and there’s nothing I can do to rid you of that.” She sniffled, lowering her gaze to her hand that fidgeted with her bouncing thigh. You listened, choosing not to interrupt her with your own thoughts and instead taking all of hers in.

“I don’t want to lose you, I can’t. When I saw you like that, and when I heard Nat calling for medics, I couldn’t think, I- I don’t know what happened to me.” She started, clasping her lips together in a fight to not shed a tear. “It’s like I can’t function without you, you’re the only person I ever truly loved, and I’m just scared I’ll lose you.” You cupped her cheek in your hand, pulling her face closer so she was directed towards you. Her lips turned upwards in a smile when seeing your own mimicking her, and you were able to taste the salty tears on them when you pulled her in for a kiss. You played with the baby hairs on the back of her neck as her tongue licked over your lips, asking for entry which you accepted.

“You’re so beautiful.” She said when pulling away, only for it to last a short time when she leaned back in. Her hand found placement on your thigh where she rubbed up and down in a soothing manner. It wasn’t long before you felt yourself pulling apart to remove one another's clothes. Your shirt had already been discarded when she had patched you up, and all Maria had to do was scrap your pants and you were left half naked in front of her, looking effortlessly perfect like always.

“I wanna see you.” You muttered, tugging on her loose shirt. She grinned and lifted it over her head, her abs flexing as she did so. You couldn’t stop your wandering hand that pressed onto the muscle, feeling her rock-hard skin that caused you to whimper.

“Like what you see?” She asked in a teasing tone, already knowing the answer. You bit your lip as you nodded, your hand quickly traveling down to the buttons on her pants. She chuckled at your antics, replacing your hand with her own and pulling them off of her body.

“Can I?” She had crawled back onto the bed, her fingertips playing with the band of your bra. They first pulled down the straps adorning your shoulders, then found their way to your clasp.

“Please.” You gave her your best look of faux innocence as she slowly removed your top, fiddling with your exposed breasts once they made their way to the surface.

“Lay down, baby, let me do all of the work.” She effortlessly removed your panties that held a wet spot in the middle, quickly attaching her lips to your clit. You sighed in satisfaction, running your fingers through her hair and giving a teasing pull. She moaned into you, causing your hips to buck up into her face.

“Yes, just like that- ah!” Her tongue toyed with your clit before finding your hole, dipping in and out and enjoying the reaction you blessed her with. She didn’t stop until you were on the edge, that release you’d been aching for nearly plunging until she pulled away and wiped her lips as if she was disgusted with your juices; you knew that was nothing but false.

“No, no, no-” You whined, being cut off by Maria’s shushing, a finger pressing against your lips as she did so.

“Shh, you don’t make the decisions here, see what happened last time you tried to be a big girl and think for yourself?” Her eyes trailed to your wound, the skin rising up and down as it copied your irregular breathing patterns. You followed them and gulped down your snarky remark, already fearing what else the woman might do.

“Let Daddy do the thinking for you tonight, angel.” She placed her thumb on your lips as you wrapped them around it, your tastebuds being hit with your sweet nectar. You smiled around her, knowing how much it drove her crazy.

“You gonna let me do that?” You nodded with a hum, tickling her skin and making her slowly remove herself from your mouth.

“Yeah? And you won’t make silly little choices that get you hurt?” You nodded once more.

“Only big girls can think for themselves, but you’re not one, are you?” This time a shake of your head was given.

“Mhm, that’s right. You’re already listening so well, such a good little baby.” Her hand came to your chest, pushing you down gently and giving you a small kiss before parting. She continued her pecks down your body, creating a trail before stopping in front of your needy cunt. Your clit was pulsating, your hips thrusting into nothing, and your slick coating your thighs.

“Such a needy thing, is this all for me?” She gave you a lustful gaze as her tongue explored you. You threw your head back as you tried clamping your legs shut, only for her grip to be too strong to do so.

“Yes, Daddy, all for you.” She hummed thoughtfully, sending a wave of pleasure through you. You reached down to try and pull her closer, but it hurt your waist too much to do so.

“Be careful, angel.” She was so engrossed with your flavor, she was an addict to your drug. Her hand traveled down to join her mouth, a single finger slipping inside of you with ease.

“Oh, God-” You gripped the sheets tightly when she drew herself out, only to thrust back in moments later. She was going too slow, and you didn’t even notice the way you’d chase into her for more. You tried making a rhythm, but it was sloppy.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking cute. I’m the luckiest woman alive.” She was hungry, practically starving, and you were the only person who could fuel her lust.

“Faster, please.” You struggled to get out, hoping she’d show some sort of mercy and give in. She did. A groan left her as you felt a second digit prodding at your hole, joining the other that was dripping from your pent-up stress.

“No matter how many times I fuck this precious pussy you’re still so damn tight.” She was grunting loudly, but the sounds of your juices deafened them. The walls weren’t soundproof, and for a moment you worried someone might be able to listen in unwillingly, but your thoughts escaped your head as soon as they entered and were replaced with her. Maria.

“You think you can take one more, sweetheart?” You shook your head, your body withering and thrashing about. She pouted and slowed her movements which resulted in a whine from deep in your chest.

“C’mon, I’ve been taking such good care of you, can’t you do this one thing for Daddy? It’ll make her so, so happy.” It was so tempting, and you were on the edge waiting for her permission to let go, there was no way out.

“O-okay.” There was clear hesitation in your voice, she could sense it from a mile away.

“Oh no, baby, I need to hear that you want it. Tell Daddy how badly you need her.”

“Please, Daddy, ple-please fuck me. I’m so wet for you.”

“Mm, I can tell.” She humored, laughing at your struggles against her. It took what felt like hours for her to finally let you off, a third finger slipping into your hole.

“I bet you feel so good around my cock, so warm and- tight!” She hushed out, forcing herself into a denied stage of release. She was soaked, almost more than you. She could feel her orgasm pending, but she was holding off for your sake.

“Aww, are you close?” She cooed when noticing the way you clung onto anything, biting your lip and eyes rolling back. She knew your body better than you did, she already knew you were near your breaking point. She wasn’t far behind either.

“Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours, all yours.” She nodded along with each word spoken, smiling as your orgasm came rippling through you. All of your senses came to a halt as you blabbered out unspoken words, only feeling yourself shake more as she continued to fuck you through your high. She wasn’t easing you down, it was as if she was prepping you for more, which you soon learned was true.

“Don’t cry, I know you can take it.” It only took a few minutes of the same procedure for you to be brought back into your foregoing state. She had been watching carefully, picking up on your every move that she had memorized over the years.

And even when you thought it was enough, she didn’t stop. You wondered how she could last so long without pains spreading throughout her body, she was animalistic.

“No- it’s too…much.” You struggled to get out. It was a lie, you both could sense that. There was never too much with her, you’d continue for the rest of the night if it meant you had her by your side.

“Just one more, I want you to cum with me.” You didn’t notice the free hand that had been creating movements on her lower region. She was toying with her clit and thrusting into the feeling, she had been neglecting her own pleasure for the sake of yours.

“I can’t!”

“Yes you can, I know you can. You’ve been doing so well, don’t stop now.” You didn’t have time to prepare for the release that washed over you like a tsunami, your juices oozing out of you and dripping onto her digits.

“Oh, fuck! You look so good, baby, so perfect.” You both let out shared pornographic moans, her gaze staying on you as you refused to look anywhere but in her direction. You grabbed her cheek, holding her closely as you kissed with passion and love. She was drawing out your orgasm, her fingers slowing until they came to a halt.

“Fuck…that has to be a record or something.” She chuckled, wrapping her arms around your waist and pressing gentle pecks across your face, the action tickling your skin.

“I love your laugh so much, angel.” You smiled at the compliment, your cheeks being painted red and causing your girlfriend to share said reaction. It was peaceful, a comfortable silence falling upon you both that didn’t need to be filled.

“You know I love you, right?” Came her hushed whisper. You opened your eyes once again to see tears bristling her eyes and a small pout forming across her lips.

“I do, and the best part is I love you just as much.” Your arms went to loosely hang on her shoulders and met to play with her dark brown hair. You scratched her scalp in a soothing manner, your heart breaking and face softening as she couldn’t form her words for a moment.

“I’m sorry I freaked out on you, I was just scared.” You led her head onto the crook of your neck as she inhaled your scent, her tense muscles relaxing.

“I’m sorry too, I should’ve been more careful.” Even with your naked bodies that were glistened with sweat due to moments prior, there was nothing sexual about it, there was just love.

“Just- promise me you’ll be safe?” She held her pinky finger out, quirking her lips up in a sweet gesture. You crossed your own with hers, your voice booming while holding a low tone.

“I promise you that I’ll do all that I can to protect myself, but only if you do so as well.”

“Deal.”

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