#im like 2/3 way through the book and i think it is so delightful | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lavaflowe · 8 months

Text

JTTW BOOK CLUB

CHPT 7-9

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

Chpt 7

•”All this was probably refined in his stomach by the Samadhi fire to form a single solid mass” I know other deities can use the fire but I’m wracking my brain for when it used before(this point) specifically- My understanding was the furnace refined the immortal elixirs and fruit- I’m going to assume Laozi is just theorizing and doesn’t know what actually happened

•Diamond body….👀

•Erlang gets absolutely DRIPPED out, he earned it FR

•eyes permanently irritated by the smoke churned up the the Xun trigram, someone get this man some eye drops

•he is extra pissed

•HE JUST BODIES LAOZI IM YELLING😂

•”this cosmic being fully fused with nature’s gifts passes with ease through 10,000 toils and tests”

•Big war form out to beat serious ass, he’s not jokin bitch

•” bright and luminous; ….illustrious pearl of mani he is indeed” MMMMM comparing him to a mani- a flaming (wish granting) jewel is hilarious 💀

•Tathagata bringing in the big guns (himself)

•”how tf do you know The Way and not know who I am?? And you’re so….violent” I can sense the side eye

•I wonder if Wukong has previous incarnations?? Buddha says he just reached human form this incarnation but if his rock was there at the beginning of creation, wouldn’t his soul be ‘baking’ (for lack of a better term) the whole time until he hatched?

•” and with a total lack of respect he left a bubbling pool of monkey urine” Iconic moment LMAOOOO

•smart for Wukong to leave a momento- too bad it didn’t matter lol

•ah so he was jumping to visit the pillars again, not run away(supposedly)- he’d rather prove he’s right than escape💀 that checks out

•monkey has been squished, it is now party o’clock

•are you allowed to give the Buddha drugs if it’s an offering? Like wine??🤔 “wtf is this allowed? Wtf”

•”Wukong is wiggling out”

“Dw, take this”

*slaps tag on the mountain like flex tape*

•enough room to breathe and move his hands- I would lose my mind

•Molten copper & iron pellets mimic punishments in hell (just learned this🙏), shedding the Karma like water -I feel like 500 years is pretty good tbh considering everything

Woe molten metal and iron upon ye

Chpt 8 + 9 under cut:

Chpt 8:

•lots of lovely poems in this chapter

•a paragraph recap of the past 7 chapters

•wonder what Feast of the Ullambana Bowl is? (the notes say it’s a mass for the dead and is also know as the Ghost festival, practiced by Taoists and Buddhists)

•”the Chan mind shines bright like a thousand rivers’ moon; true nature’s pure and great as an unclouded sky.”

Lovely poem, and I’m beginning to realize this book is very heavily focused on the Chan school, which I don’t know why I didn’t pick up on sooner? White-Robed Guan Yin is a Chan specific form, usually depicted in their bamboo grove

•Tathagata reveals his 3 baskets of scripture after everyone is done presenting their poems, feels almost like he suggested the celebration to announce these

•Each basket corresponds to scriptures of Heaven, Earth, and the Damned- a total of 15,144 FUCKING SCROLLS

•oooo Guanyin poem!! “ a golden body filled with wisdom, fringes of dangling pearls and jade, …dark hair piled smartly in a coiled-dragon bun. With brows of new moon shape and eyes like two bright stars, her jadelike face beams natural joy. …Her orchid heart delights in green bamboos; her chaste nature loves the wisteria. The living Guanyin from the Cave of Tidal Sound.”

•5 Talismans: Embroidered Cassock that will protect him from falling back into the Wheel of Transmigration, a 9 ring priestly staff that will protect him from poison or harm, 3 tightening fillets- the Golden, the Constructive, and the Prohibitive Spell.

•Guanyin thinks this will take about 2 to 3 years💀 hooooo boy….

•FLOWING SAND RIVER!!! MY 2ND FAV BOY!!!

•Green and Black complexion, Gleaming eyes like the lights beneath a stove, forked mouth with teeth like knives and swords, and disheveled red hair

•like that Wujing is using a priest staff he def took from one of the monks he ate lol

•Wujing fighting Moksa for his life only to drop everything to apologize and talk to Guanyin LMAO

•MOKSA PICKS HIM UP BY THE COLLAR AKFKAKDJDJ

•ah, so Wujing didn’t reincarnate, he was changed, STABBED OVER 100 TIMES EVERY 7 DAYS AND FORCED TO COMMIT CANNABILSM SO HE DOESNT STARVE AS PUNISHMENT- THATS JUST LOVELY😭

•I like the interpretation that he could have been trying to signal a coup by breaking the crystal cup

•Guanyin hearing about Wujing’s string of skulls: it’s a surprise tool that will help us later

•BAJIE TIME

•this idiot bro “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO GET FLOWER PETALS IN MY EYES!!” “IDIOT THAT WAS GUANYIN” “…Guanyin is here??” “LOOK UP”

•Wuneng is reincarnated, he got beat to death in Heaven for hitting on Chang’e LMAOOOOO GET REKT

•ah yes, casually mentions killing his pig family and then his life of eating humans. Lovely.

•AO LIE TIME

•I committed a little accidental arson, please bail me out

•Damn, he got a really short intro

•interesting that Guanyin id’s the Peach Banquet as Wukongs fall from grace. I would def agree with this- eating the peaches like he did was extremely reckless and the beginning of the end imo

•”who tf is talking shit up there”

•No one has ever visited Wukong, I’m guessing the Guards were horrible company

•I like how both Guanyin and Sanzang try to give Wukong a religious name- Guanyin is very happy to hear he has the Wu- prefix as well lol

•arrived in Chang’an, let the hunt begin

Chpt 9:

•Chang’an bb, all blooming flowers surrounded by 8 rivers (DAMN, that’s a lot of water)

•Guangrui got first place in the examination, good for him UwU

•SURPRISE WIFE

•”gave the girl to Guangrui as his bride” UM I THINK SHES THE ONE WHO GRABBED HIM LMAO

•Guangrui has some fated beef with these two random boatmen, Liu Hong and Li Biao- states that he was destined in a previous incarnation to be enemies with them, is this a result of bad karma?

•NOOOOOO MY GUY GUANGRUI

•Liu Hong reminds me of Liu’er Mi-*gunshot*

•since they’re at the bottom of the Hong river, which Dragon King is this?

•Golden Carp coming in clutch, nice

•LADY YIN IS SO METAL LETS GO “she hated the bandit so bitterly that she wished she could devour his flesh and sleep on his skin” DO IT GURL, KILL HIM

•damn, too bad she’s pregnant with Sanzang….dw Girl I know you would kick his ass otherwise…

•there goes his toe…

•get named River Float idiot

•damn bro chill, that wasn’t very monk-like of you

•homie got called an orphan and cried JAKDJSJFJ I FEEL BAD

•she didn’t even check the toe I THOUGHT SHE DID- WHAT WAS THE POINT LMAO

•nvmnd

•I guess licking the eyes is better than spitting on them…sigh…

•GODDAMN THEY RIPPED LIU HONG AND LI BAIO APART….good for them, deserved in fact

•Lady Yin committing suicide even after she was reunited with her husband makes sense, as there was a trend where wives whose husbands died or they were assaulted, killed themselves. This was show loyalty to their husbands and add weight to their claim of SA- Lady Yin’s husband coming back does not change the fact that everyone knows she was forcefully married :((

(I use the term ‘trend’ only as a way to describe the rise and fall in wife suicides tied to either a husbands death or as a response to SA)

#FINALLY CAUGHT UP YIPPEE #I CAN… I CAN DRAW MKRE FOR THESE #<- I say this but I intentionally didn’t post last Sunday so I could make that animation for chapter 7 LMAO #…I have my priorities straight #tho the animation prevented me from doing anything for Sanzang’s chapter RIP #I would have done Lady Yin Justice I swear- she deserves soemthing nice #jttw #jttw book club #<- still not sure about that tag LMAO #Journey to the west #I’ll probably slap all my doodles in one post at some point…#Sun Wukong #tang sanzang #my art #jttw meme #tw: sui mention

120 notes · View notes

ilikereadingactually · 7 months

Text

The Imperial Radch Trilogy

hoooo boy, do my mismatched covers annoy me! so much that i ordered lightly used copies of each book with its other cover also, and will soon have a full set of each, because i am one of those people.

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie

picking up a book that's as exquisitely written as this is like slipping into a warm bath. like i can just relax, because i'm in skilled hands. the amount of trust that precise, compelling prose can win from me in just a few pages is astonishing, and has rarely been misplaced.

and this is one that requires a little bit of trust! like many of my favorite speculative books, there's no soulless infodumping about the world here--background is given when it fits and serves the narrative, and otherwise you learn the world by experience. through the distinct and fascinating experience of Breq, in fact, who used to be the AI of a military spaceship with many ancillary bodies (human bodies that house its consciousness and crew the ship) and now exists as only one lone ancillary on a revenge mission. i love Breq's very specific and unusual perspective; i love jumping back and forth in time to see the past and the present and wonder how they're going to collide; i love weird space politics and religion and the exploration of emotion as a part of sentience. also!! i love many of the side characters!! Breq is really the focus, but everyone else who enters the story, even briefly, is clear and interesting, and some of them made me cry.

and i love the way gender is presented in this book SO MUCH. Breq comes from a society that doesn't distinguish gender, and uses "she" as the default pronoun, which i already love. and the book doesn't give many clear visual descriptions of anyone--so we're fully inside that perspective. Breq does take some notice of class, through accents and clothing, but just isn't at all concerned with markers of gender, and actively has difficulty identifying gender in other languages and cultures she encounters. i think this takes a lot of skill to write, and it's frankly baller to read.

also! i fucking love that the standard of not only beauty but high class and privilege in this society is dark skin!!!!!!!! dark is fashionable! dark is aristocratic!! i mean im never gonna be like "this fantasy imperialist classism is actually the good kind" because that's missing the whole point of the books, but it's so REFRESHING to visualize.

a line i really liked: AI to AI communication

"You still had your ancillaries," said Mercy of Kalr. "Yes." "I like my soldiers, but I miss having ancillaries." That reminded me. "They aren't doing maintenance as they should. The hinges on the airlock door were very sticky." "I'm sorry." "It doesn't matter now," I said, and it struck me that something similar might have delayed Anaander Mianaai's attempts to open the lock on her side. "But you'll want to have your officers get after them."

books 2 and 3 under the cut!

Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie

LOVE a second book in a series that delights me just as much as the first but in new and different ways!! Leckie's prose is still gorgeous, that's a given. but this book, as with many good speculative series, heightens the stakes and broadens the world. where the first book was a somewhat more intimate story about a few connected characters and the pursuit of a personal goal, the second book brings in more complex political intrigue, addresses more widespread injustices, and introduces an array of excellent new characters. the first book held on to its tension by moving back and forth in time; this book takes advantage of the wider spread and Breq's particular kind of perception to tell multiple stories happening simultaneously, through glimpses at what other characters are doing "offscreen." it's a fantastic tactic!!

it's also clearer in this book how unreliable Breq's narration is, specifically about her own state of being. she thinks of herself as not human, and so as less important--she doesn't take the time to narrate or even notice her own physical state or emotional needs until she's totally overwhelmed, at which point we start to get little flashes of what everyone around her sees: a person of incredible kindness and integrity and intelligence, beloved by those under her care. there's a specific kind of intimacy between characters in these books that fascinates me, i love every acts of service bitch in this bar.

a line i really liked: why is every book series i love actually about grief

"Citizen, I am in mourning." I had not had time to clean the white stripe off my face for the night. And she could not possibly have forgotten the reason for it. "But surely, Fleet Captain," she replied sweetly, "that's all for show." "It's always for show, Citizen. It is entirely possible to grieve with no outward sign. These things are meant to let others know about it."

Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie

wow. ok. so. i drafted the section on Ancillary Justice above after finishing just that book; wrote the section on Ancillary Sword after reading all three books and listening to the first two audiobooks; here i am to write about Ancillary Mercy after reading the series once and listening to all the audiobooks twice. so...my descent into obsession will be palpable.

i'm actually a little mad that i didn't have these books on my radar before, but i was deeply embedded in the children's lit world at the time they were coming out, and maybe would not have enjoyed them as much as i did. which is something i loved in this series--the persistent idea that people not only change over time, but that in each moment, all the choices you have made up to that moment have created you specifically, and if you had made different choices, you would be a different person. i'm not the person i was then, five years out of grad school, busting my ass for $10/hour in children's bookstores, reading mostly middle grade because middle grade reliably is not romantic and i did not yet know i was aroace. so, overall, i'm grateful these books have come to me now (thanks to my best friend, who sent me Ancillary Justice for my birthday and kept telling me i would love it).

but let me talk a little about this third book in particular. once again, the stakes are incrementally raised: threats that were at a little distance before finally arrive in a bigger way, or come back again after a tense reprieve; the question of who is a person, what a "person" even is, becomes both more muddied and more crucial than ever. through it all, Breq continues to move doggedly forward with stubborn compassion for everyone but herself, keeps throwing herself in front of danger, and makes a more enormous impact on the world around her than i ever expected. this book is like everything i ever loved about Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (the best Trek don't come at me) but with oodles more gender fuckery.

it's also the really beautiful culmination of my other favorite theme of these books: that you can't know what effects your choices will have, and maybe you'll never know, but the chain of those effects will go farther than you imagine. it's so wild, on a second and third read, to see both the ripples of ruthless and self-centered choices, and the ripples of choices that come from an ethic of care. Even inside a terrible, imperialist system doing terrible, imperialist things, a single compassionate person persistently doing what she feels is right can change the course of someone else's life, and in doing so change the course of the universe.

a line i really liked: everything happening here is a blessing

"Thank all the gods," said Sphene. "I was afraid you were going to suggest we sing that song about the thousand eggs." "A thousand eggs all nice and warm," I sang. "Crack, crack, crack, a little chick is born. Peep peep peep peep! Peep peep peep peep!" "Why, Fleet Captain," Translator Zeiat exclaimed, "that's a charming song! Why haven't I heard you sing it before now?" I took a breath. "Nine hundred ninety-nine eggs all nice and warm..." "Crack, crack, crack," Translator Zeiat joined me, her voice a bit breathy but otherwise quite pleasant, "a little chick is born. Peep peep peep peep! What fun! Are there more verses?" "Nine hundred and ninety-eight of them, Translator," I said. "We're not cousins anymore," said Sphene.

the combo deets

how i read them: i read the first as a physical book (thanks B <3), started the second as an ebook, happened to be at a bookstore and picked up the second and third, and so read them all physical in the end. also, highly rec the audiobooks!! i don't know how they'd go as a first read, but they're extremely fun as a reread. lots of great accents and really interesting tonal choices.

try these if you: dig hard SF and examinations of artificial intelligence and personhood, are weak for self-sacrificing main characters, want that sweet aspec rep, or fuck with gender! or, and this may sound weird, love people bonding with dragons in your fantasy books--there are a lot of relationships here that feel similar to me.

maybe not for you if: you really need to avoid depression/suicidality, drug addiction, or genocide in stories. none of these things are here in a degree that i found too difficult to handle, but i like an uncomfortable read, so ymmv.

i'm reading Provenance, the next book set in this universe, right now! so more Imperial Radch reviews to come.

#books and reading #bookblr #book recs #book reviews #imperial radch #ann leckie #ancillary justice #ancillary sword #ancillary mercy #queer science fiction

7 notes · View notes

madebypointlesswords · 4 months

Text

just for funsies: books im currently reading

I cannot, for the life of me, read just one book at the time. I've tried multiple times and I just can't. It's most likely my untreated ADHD but oh welllll, have fun with my silly little books and go right ahead and judge my taste in the tags <3

The Iliad, Homer

Honestly such a fun book. I'm reading it very slowly though, because I want to savour each sentence. It's a thrifted version that someone else annotated and I got it for like, 7 euros? The annotations are very cute and fun to read while reading the actual book and it made me consider doing the same (annotating a book and then donating it to thrift so some random stranger can delight in my silly thoughts). Achilles is a bit of a dick but I like him that way. Diomedes is my absolute favourite (together with Patroclus).

This is the edition I have

1984, George Orwell

This book was an impulse buy from my favourite bookstore. I'm enjoying it thorougly, and I mainly bought it because I was going to see a play inspired by it that week and planned to read it first. I got through 50 pages. Orwell's style is a delight though, I have no notes. I'm currently like, one quarter into the book.

My edition (I'm looking for Animal Farm in the same style. I know it exists I just keep finding other ones and it irks me.)

Good Omens, Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman

Tumblr (and my best friend @mairrion) convinced me this year to watch Good Omens right when season 2 came out. I curse you all for the brainrot you have given me. Literally why did you have to do this to me. I bought the book very recently (this monday) and I'm 1/5 into the book. The writing is honestly so fun and I've laughed several times out loud on the bus while reading. Definitely recommend this to new (or old) fans of the series.

I got the edition with Crowley on the cover (they didn't have Aziraphales version but I still would have gotten Crowley's anyway). Mine's a tad different: the letters are golden, Terry is mentioned before Neil is, and Crowley's wine isn't red. Oh and there's a sticker advertising the series.

Little Thieves, Margaret Owen

Oh my god this book is fun. Delicious characterisation. Wonderful dialogue. Stunning worldbuilding. Honestly I am so angry at myself for not being able to read this cover to cover. Why am I LIKE this. The cover is also so extremely pretty what the fuck.

Just look at this

Crime and Punishment, Fyodor Dostoevsky

This book is a banger. It annoys me that I can't read it in one sitting. Because I genuinely LOVE it but I just fucking can't. I love it when Dostoevsky takes a break from the plot to remind us as readers that Raskolnikov is, in fact, very much a pretty boy. Peak comedy right there.

I got the Wordsworth classics edition because it was only 4 euros at my favourite bookstore again (i apologise this is the best picture I have)

The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry, C.M. Waggoner

I got this book today from one of my best friends and I've read only one chapter but holy hell I am hooked. This is amazing. This is fun. This is exactly what I want. Chaotic, sapphic and unhinged slightly evil women are my drug of choice and this is a heroin shot. Live laugh love Dellaria Wells.

also look at the pretty cover mmmm

The Darkening Age (The Christian Destruction of the Classical World), Catherine Nixey

My first non fiction book I think. Nixey's writing is exquisite and I am loving this book with all my heart. It's educative, interesting and just overall, a wonderful experience to read. I do encourage everyone to take it with a grain of salt, but the author has many, many cited works, so I'm not saying that you have to be overly critical of every sentence, just that the author is (just like any other human being) a bit biased.

btw the cover is pretty too :) but I just can't find a picture of it.

#just my silly thoughts #books #dark academia #dark academia book recs #adhd culture #innatentive adhd #current read #orwell 1984 #crime and punishment #the iliad #patrochilles #crowley good omens #good omens #good omens fandom #good omens book #little thieves #the ruthless lady's guide to wizardry

6 notes · View notes

rosymorns · 1 year

Text

anyway, like, final thoughts on book 3 . not that i expect that u care and i’m not much of a media critic. this is as much for me to sort out my thoughts as anything else.

i liked it! it’s definitely the weakest of the three books. and felt shorter? was it shorter?? i feel like books 1 and 2 took me FOREVER to play through, whereas i played through both of these like. on my breaks while at work. idk. i didn’t read as closely, granted.

far and away the weakest part was the plot -- or the antagonist, specifically. we got a lot of build-up with sin in the demo and kind of in the way the book was promoted, but he just didn’t feel... dangerous? textbook show dont tell ass stuff. UB tells us he’s dangerous but other than “hes strong and he can fly and UB can’t fight him” -- like, yknow? i think we needed to see him more thoroughly kick UB’s ass. and since all the other scenes with anwir are through sin’s pov, and we don’t see sin call him anwir, it felt like the “real” antagonist, like, wasn’t there.

oh and the hand-wavey “sin is doing this because of, uh, magic” -- but it’s *never* explained? i thought i missed it my first playthrough. i still think i missed it. this is the antagonist, dude! we have to have a coherent motivation for them.

also some... i don’t know whether to call it tonal or pacing problems. we’ve got this kind of urgent plot and it felt like sera kept going “okay, this is getting too plot heavy, let’s send the detective on a date” -- whereas in the other books the time spent with the LI felt more natural.

as of right now i played a nate-focused LT (i.e. i got the nate-date scenes when the choice was presented) and an adam route. i love the LT normally and probably would’ve liked it more if i’d split my time between adam and nate; the “detective goes with nate and adam looks at them sadly” didn’t give me the angst i wanted.

i’ve seen some people complain about the A route moving too quickly, but. yeah i dunno this is on par with what i expected. we’re almost at the half-way point of the series and sera has been very clear that A’s route isn’t going to end book 7 with them admitting their feelings. we’re going to get substantial time being in a relationship with them. they spent two (and a half, really) books completely in denial. we’ll probably get a full confession and some sort of cautious relationship in book 4, and be in an actual relationship with them for the rest of the series.

sorry. oh my god this is not on topic. and maybe it’s because i read a lot of romance novels and am broadly very familiar with the genre because it’s my collection at work. but i feel like a lot of wayhaven fans have not gotten it into their heads that this is essentially a romance novel. like, it’s full of romance tropes. i’m familiar with the genre so my expectations are pretty much always in line with what ends up happening. but a lot of time i see people complaining about things and im like “thats......part of the genre. you wouldn’t complain about a fantasy book for having magic?”

anyway. i liked a’s route. the kiss scene was a lil melodramatic, but in a delightful way ;^) and picking N as your best friend in a’s route is just Peak. i love it.

oh, the whole chamber thing felt like padding. i wish there had been more to the meeting, or that the meeting had been cut. i hated that the detective didn’t have a lot of options to... like, take it seriously? like they’re portrayed as being super nervous leading up to it and then they fuck around inside the room itself and mouth off to the chamber members. i’m sure it’s meant to.... like, the chamber is going to be much more important later, so sera wanted to introduce them early and have the detective have met them so that it doesn’t seem like she pulled them out of nowhere when they’re important later on. but yeah, super weird bit. these people are flying in from all over the world to have a six minute conversation with you where they introduce themselves and possibly scold you for letting tina/verda find out about the supernatural. Why. this could have been an email.

ummmmmm the dinner date scenes were my favorite part. the house arrest dates were a little weird but enjoyable. i didn’t like that when you fuck up at the auction and have to make the choice between apprehending anwir and saving the captives, sin just captures him for you (or does he only do that if you were nice to him or smth? i haven’t done any code diving or extensive testing). there should’ve been consequences. sera wasn’t afraid to let murphy get away before.

i think that’s it. 6.5/10 stars. will probably play N’s solo route and will definitely play A’s route again. not as good as book 1, but i don’t think any of them will be. <3

#i'd love to hear some of your thoughts! either as a comment or an ask if you wanna be anonymous.#carly.txt #wayhaven book 3 spoilers

15 notes · View notes

just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

Note

part 2 for the hottie-cutie! actually we dont use the percentage system in ig all the post-ussr countries (mb not the more european ones but im not sure). but ig 70% is just average here? ig its barely the B(?), in our system its 4/5. or ig 0-50% is like 2/5 (bc its forbidden to give 1/5 *clown emoji*), 50-70 or 75 is prob 3/5, and 90-100 is the highest mark. dk if its stupid of us but yes. id really not say that all russian students are very smart. but now i think that i didnt even knew filipino is based on tagalog... and that a lot of people are really arrogant bitches that would fight till the blood spills even if theyre wrong... but yeah not to be a hater or anything but... i still remember that trend on tiktok where american teens were like 'give me antidepressants and coke and imma explode russia in a sec' and then they cant find the hugest fucking country on the map... and im not even mentioning how they feel like their starbucks can help these sweet summer children to like... conquer, riot, attack... 'YOURE SAYING WHAT I LEARNED IN SCHOOL IN THE FUCKING PHILIPPINES IS WRONG AND THEY WERE LIKE YES' arrogant bitches TT 'i forgive them' its ok id hate them for you. 'that was a long rant' and i love every letter. im so happy for you! you seem so passionate about the sandman, its cute. delightful to read youre happy! and really delightful to see someone being so happy about something so... simple? just being happy. this world indeed needs some kindness. im so happy for your excitement TT take all the time you need, your happiness is the priority!! and gjdd as i was thinking about it, a recalled that in the very beginning of that your fic with daemon x niece reader where she doesnt need him, i felt SO strong about it being like... a half of that daemon idea i teased you... so like yeah. im waiting. but not asking you to speed up!! driving fast is dangerous, children. its a well-deserved rest (in a way). hope youll spend it great. 'just cos ur in the bible doesnt mean ur a saint' i know?? but HFJSDJS it sounds so... like a wity line from this stupid films with the worst, the most dangerous, the filthiest mafia boss and like... just y/n... yeah thats it. and in the night theyre making out and things are getting hotter and shes like omg no i need to finish reading the bible and he answers her with this WITTY line. sorry. just my association. never intended it to sound bad. 'my teacher was nice and me and my friends were nerds' ahajsj were so similar TT like mother like cat TT the only exception i was usually the one who read a book and told about its plot to others but still was the one to answer most of the questions. 'Under my Invisible Umbrella by Laurel Flores Fantauzzo. it’s a personal essay' omgomg it sounds interesting. like.. those books that are written by authors who lived in the country who started a war. SORRY for this comparison but for me it sounds like it. like smn whos seen as an enemy but there he is. its always fascinating to see yourself in a character/a book so im kinda.. glad for you. considering all it sounds strange but feeling a book is the experience to feel. 'ANYWAY im hot. (:' well true. thanks for the tiktok TT you really didnt need to do this but i appreciate your efforts sm TT thank you TT and yeeeah aemonds so funny TT and this guy is so accurately fanny TT yesterday (or the day before yesterday yes thats it) all my classmates and the other parallel class made that ver deputy SO angry *clown emoji* it was the experience to go through.. actually its not an uncommon thing bc i remember no day when she didnt scream at smn. but plugging the equipment? sounds like a good revenge. omg im so eager to know about the works of your national hero! im eager to learn anything youre willing to tell me! so i always wait for you, hottie-cutie! have a nice day/night! good luck with the classes or whatever plans you have! love you! take care<з

HELLO

im so annoyed with myself because i was almost done with answering you then i pressed cntl z and everything disappeared fml

now im going to be sad the entire time i type this fuck off tumblr why are you so glitchy

actually we dont use the percentage system in ig all the post-ussr countries (mb not the more european ones but im not sure). but ig 70% is just average here? ig its barely the B(?), in our system its 4/5. or ig 0-50% is like 2/5 (bc its forbidden to give 1/5 *clown emoji*), 50-70 or 75 is prob 3/5, and 90-100 is the highest mark. dk if its stupid of us but yes. id really not say that all russian students are very smart.

T_T rip T_T HAHAAH wait its still so funny to me that 70 is average i gasped when i read this the first time T_T asian countries be like that ig HAHHAHH. i mean there are A LOT OF DUMB FILIPINOS TOO SO /: its fine theres a bit of dumb in the world but its so weird to me that our grades are so high standard. /: asians HAHAHA

but now i think that i didnt even knew filipino is based on tagalog... and that a lot of people are really arrogant bitches that would fight till the blood spills even if theyre wrong...

well now you know. people who are overconfident are airheaded /:

but yeah not to be a hater or anything but... i still remember that trend on tiktok where american teens were like 'give me antidepressants and coke and imma explode russia in a sec' and then they cant find the hugest fucking country on the map...

STILL AS DISTURBING AS WHEN I REPLIED TO THIS THE FIRST TIME T_T these kids (boys especially) need to stop glorifying war i cant believe this was a trend T_T also the map thing is so true and i suck at geography but i could at least point to russia come one

also T_T although im annoyed i have to type this all over again, did you know russia is bigger than pluto. i love pluto lets talk about pluto more next time when im not frustrated with myself for fundamentally deleting my entire reply T_T

and im not even mentioning how they feel like their starbucks can help these sweet summer children to like... conquer, riot, attack...

L war this is why feminism is important, little boys think war is the only thing that is cool enough to be their hobby because its violent T_T

'YOURE SAYING WHAT I LEARNED IN SCHOOL IN THE FUCKING PHILIPPINES IS WRONG AND THEY WERE LIKE YES' arrogant bitches TT 'i forgive them' its ok id hate them for you.

DONT HATE ANYONE FOR ME T_T NEVER DO THAT FOR ANYONE

'that was a long rant' and i love every letter.

im so happy for you! you seem so passionate about the sandman, its cute. delightful to read youre happy! and really delightful to see someone being so happy about something so... simple? just being happy. this world indeed needs some kindness. im so happy for your excitement TT take all the time you need, your happiness is the priority!!

i did a whole rant about sandman but T_T next time. I REALLY WAS SO SUPER EXCITED ABOUT WHAT I WAS TELLING YOU AND I WANT TO TELL YOU BUT IM SO SLEEPY AND I DONT WANT TO PUT OFF REPLYING TO YOUR P2 T_T anyway i actually returned the books i borrowed the next day (which was yesterday) without reading them because my mom said it was too dark and i agree so i did BUT LSHAH I WENT TO THE LIBRARY TODAY AFTER CLASS AND READ THE MEGABIG ENCYLOPEDIA HARDBOUND SANDMAN COMIC with like 10 issues in it (which had everything in the series) AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH IT MADE ME LOVE DREAM SO MUCH MORE T_T

and gjdd as i was thinking about it, a recalled that in the very beginning of that your fic with daemon x niece reader where she doesnt need him, i felt SO strong about it being like... a half of that daemon idea i teased you... so like yeah. im waiting. but not asking you to speed up!! driving fast is dangerous, children. its a well-deserved rest (in a way). hope youll spend it great.

tell me about your daemon fic now IM SO CURIOUS NOW also as i said i zoomed read (and finished) that mega big comic book so im instead going to be writing sandman fics HAHAHH. i hope you liked my daemon x niece fic. i was surprised a lot of people seem to like it

'just cos ur in the bible doesnt mean ur a saint' i know?? but HFJSDJS it sounds so... like a wity line from this stupid films with the worst, the most dangerous, the filthiest mafia boss and like... just y/n... yeah thats it. and in the night theyre making out and things are getting hotter and shes like omg no i need to finish reading the bible and he answers her with this WITTY line. sorry. just my association. never intended it to sound bad.

HAAHH this doesnt sound bad it so funny actually. also I LOVE THIS CONCEPT i love me a good dirty mafia boss [quietly writes this idea down in my head]

'my teacher was nice and me and my friends were nerds' ahajsj were so similar TT like mother like cat TT the only exception i was usually the one who read a book and told about its plot to others but still was the one to answer most of the questions.

#twinlife u like me for real

'Under my Invisible Umbrella by Laurel Flores Fantauzzo. it’s a personal essay' omgomg it sounds interesting. like.. those books that are written by authors who lived in the country who started a war.

HAHAHHAHAAHHAA

SORRY for this comparison but for me it sounds like it.

HAHAHHAHAHA

like smn whos seen as an enemy but there he is. its always fascinating to see yourself in a character/a book so im kinda.. glad for you. considering all it sounds strange but feeling a book is the experience to feel.

i get what you mean. its fine dont apologize. and yes it is so very nice to see yourself portrayed in media

'ANYWAY im hot. (:' well true.

thanks for the tiktok TT you really didnt need to do this but i appreciate your efforts sm TT thank you TT and yeeeah aemonds so funny TT and this guy is so accurately fanny TT

AT LEAST YOU SAW and found it funny <3

yesterday (or the day before yesterday yes thats it) all my classmates and the other parallel class made that ver deputy SO angry *clown emoji* it was the experience to go through.. actually its not an uncommon thing bc i remember no day when she didnt scream at smn.

T_T imagine living in russia and still being hotheaded. chill /:

but plugging the equipment? sounds like a good revenge.

T_T REAL HAHAHH

omg im so eager to know about the works of your national hero! im eager to learn anything youre willing to tell me!

T_T I dont mean to be that person but im too tired to go on FUCK TUMBLR I HAD A WHOLEASS ESSAY ABOUT PLUTO AND AN ANALYSIS ABOUT SANDMAN CHARACTERS AND I WAS TALKING ABOUT OUR NATIONAL HERO JOSE RIZAL but now its gone and i want to sleep next time baby i wont cntrl z it T_T

so i always wait for you, hottie-cutie!

thank you my love <3

have a nice day/night! good luck with the classes or whatever plans you have! love you! take care<з

good night baby <3 i hope you have a wonderful day <3 im going to sleep now

xxx

#tumblr my nemesis #anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

2 notes · View notes

shannananan · 4 months

Text

Incomplete list of 2023 TV & Movies - I’ve been adding to this list all year without any revisions passed initial reactions. 2023 really served loads of anticipated adaptations, sequels and original content. It felt like we were truly in a sweet spot of beautiful things put to film.

Starting in chronological order of when I saw each, and yes, i know there’s still ones I missed.

January - The Legend of Vox Machina Season 2: 9/10 Chroma Conclave, Kaylie, Matron of Ravens, surprising amount of Pikelan

February - The Last of Us: 9/10 Im new in town so going into this show at face value has been a delightful horror

March - Shadow & Bone Season 2: 7/10 Writing went out the window in episode 7 or would have been higher. Would have been lower if Crows weren’t cast in actual perfection

April - Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves: 10/10 Truly the most fun at the theatres in years.

May - Queen Charlotte: 9/10 i was not prepared to sob uncontrollably for a solid 20 minutes

May - Guardians of the Galaxy 3: N/A I can’t properly assess this movie. I was in an absolute horrible state the day I saw it and given the themes of the film, I sobbed for nearly two hours straight. Did I enjoy it? No. Is it an incredibly written and acted rage-filled magnum opus? Absolutely.

June - The Little Mermaid: 7.5/10 Surprised how delightful it was. Eric & Ariel’s chemistry was excellent, the changes gave the characters more depth. Detracted points for the Scuttlebutt Rap.

June - Across the Spiderverse: 15/10 Perfection and then some.

June - Nimona: 8/10 What an absolutely refreshing delight

July - Dragon Prince Season 5: 7/10 Lost me in the first half but damn that pirate arc came thru

July - Barbie: 10/10 Perfection, no notes. The first absolutely sold out movie theatre experience in years and the entire audience was in pink. S U B L I M E

August - Good Omens 2: 8/10 ... 9/10 so long as we get a season 3. (December update: Okay we did it kids)

August - Oppenheimer: 8/10 Wonderfully executed. RDJ snapping up that Supporting Actor award. Excellent twist and beautiful all around. could’ve shaved about 40 mins off.

August - Heartstopper 2: 7/10 saccharinely sweet in the best way, i think i am just a bit too elder millennial for high school shows now

August - Red White & Royal Blue: 6/10 (upon rewatch with the girlies - 8/10) Are parts of it cringey? Yes. Are parts of it surprisingly lovely? Yes Perfect girls night rom-com.

August - Strange New Worlds: “Those Old Scientists” 13/10 “Subspace Rhapsody” 15/10 Perfection. No Notes.

September - One Piece Live Action: 8/10 I’m new in town with no previous interaction with the anime or manga (beyond osmosis from friends) and it was an utter delight

September - Blue Beetle: 7.5/10 Honestly a fantastic origin superhero movie. If it had come out before Superhero movie fatigue and hadn’t gotten lost in the strikes, this is a solid movie. They got the family dynamic RIGHT.

October - Book Extra: Percy Jackson & The Chalice of the Gods: 10/10 can’t even be mad that it was short cause more books are coming

October - Podcast Extra: Strike Force Five: 9/10 Going into Episode 5 innocently before any lore had been built around has got to be the hardest I’ve laughed at any media for over an hour for a long time. i had a headache afterwards

October - Our Flag Means Death Season 2: 8/10 My perfect show isn’t perfect anymore and that’s okay. MVP of the season was blackbeard’s wig 15/10

November - The Marvels: 6/10 I really really wanted to like this movie. The weight of the MCU brought it down and muddied the screenplay into something mediocre rather than letting it lean into a genre film. I will give it props that the use of Memory healed something in my soul that fundamentally broke during Cats (2019).

November - Killers of the Flower Moon: 9/10 The horror is in the slow, quiet, mundanity that stretches through the entire film. with impeccable performances by Lily Gladstone and Robert de Niro. It is not a comfortable or easy watch and I absolutely understand the Indigenous critique of the film and that there is space for layered discussions.

December - The Hunger Games: A Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes: 9/10 Having not read the book and not revisiting THG series since it’s cultural zeitgeist, it was amazing how easy it was to fall back into the world. This film carries a different kind of dirtier grounded authenticity that hits closer to the world we live in right now than the later stories in the world. The interweaving of music is masterful and no one is doing it like Rachel Zegler right now. A villain doomed by his own hubris, paranoia, and drive for power, this was an incredible origin story

December - The Boy & The Heron: 9/10 When the movie ended i just sat there thinking “that was one of the most beautiful things ive ever seen”. Did I understand all of it? No. And thats okay. Esoteric, whimsical, emotionally driven by grief and a child trying to understand mortality. It had all the Miyazaki hits: funky lil round friends, mouth-watering food, the most unhinged lil grandmas, a beautiful world doomed for destruction, a weird little man, a highly competent badass lady, and the most existential questions about existence.

December - Percy Jackson & The Olympians (so far): 9/10 With only 3 episodes released before the end of the year - it’s incredible. PJO fans are winning. Jason Mantzoukas is perfect casting. The trio have so much chemistry. I would die for Grover, Aryan is killing it.

December - Honourable Mention: Silver Skates (2020): 12/10 Stumbled onto this Russian movie on Netflix and It. Has. Everything. You want Six of Crows and Peaky Blinders on skates? You want Russian-knock-off Tom Holland? It’s serving Anastasia/Titanic/Moulin Rouge. The cinematography is stunning. My heart would not stop racing.

#2023 in review

1 note · View note

bucky-barnes-diaries · 3 years

Text

Away From Home

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Captain America: The First Avenger

Pairing: 1940s! Bucky Barnes x Female! Reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky are half a world apart. How are they holding up without each other? ft. some love letters!

Word Count: 1644

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, hint of smut, angst, talk about war, mention of suicide. Please read at your own risk!

Authors Note: Just want to thank my beautiful wife @buckybarnesdiaries for hyping me up with this series! Not everything may be accurate to the 1940s, war or Bucky’s story. My apologies! Enjoy loves <3

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

It wasn’t easy being all alone without your other half, but you managed to fill up your day with fun and responsibilities to take your mind off it. The women at the office missed their husbands immensely, just like yourself, so it was good that you all took comfort in one another. It was good to talk with them about the shared feelings of fear and uncertainty that came with the men going off to war.

The office work that was ordinarily boring to you became very interesting as your bosses ordered you around. At home, you had organized your various pieces of literature more times than what was necessary. You couldn’t either count how many times you’ve gone “I missed a spot” on the kitchen counter when it was nothing there in reality.

When there was nothing at home to do, you called up your girlfriends, hoping they would be willing to go out on the town. The few times they were up for it, you forgot all about the hurt inside as you danced the night away with your best friends.

Bucky's parents could come and go as they pleased. Your house was their house; whenever they wanted to drop by, they could. On the weekends, they would invite you home to their residence for dinner and drinks. It was sweet of them to ask you. You already had a strong relationship with them that only increased with you spending more time with your parents-in-law.

The stories they would tell you about James growing up in Indiana with his siblings were stored in your memories to use late at night when you couldn’t sleep. Those thoughts would turn into dreams and scenarios of him and your child that you would hopefully get pregnant with soon.

On the few occasions his parents and your girlfriends had other plans, you sat mostly inside staring at one spot on the wall. The book by your side would only be read a few pages before it was placed to the side again so you could continue gawking at the flower patterns on the wall.

That’s how you were sat now. The television was on, but you weren’t paying attention to the boring movie you had watched countless times playing on the screen. You decided that you would write another letter to James. Writing letters to your husband and receiving letters from him was the thing that brought you joy and was the closest you could come to him for the time being. Picking up the pen and paper, the words flowed easily as you wrote.

~~~~~~~~~~

My Dearest,

I feel I must write you again altho there is not much news to tell you from the last time I wrote. Work is keeping me busy, while your parents’ comfort and the fun my girlfriends are bringing keeps me content. I dreamt last night my husband. I dreamt about a child. Our child. A child that will bring us love and joy in the future.

I miss you terribly, my love. I miss the warmth from your touch as we are tangled in the sheets together. I miss the softness of your voice as the words whispered in my ear are meant for me only. I miss your laugh filling up the house that feels so empty now without you. I miss you. There is nothing more that I desire in life but to have you with me constantly.

I wonder how you are getting along, my love. I shall be so relieved to get a letter from you. I can’t help feeling a bit anxious for you, my dear. Thinking about what you are going through in the gruesome war overseas. I pray to whatever higher power exists for you to survive and come home to me in my arms.

Well, my husband, my brave soldier, I don’t know what more to say now, so I will finish this letter with fondest love and kisses from your wife.

I love you the most. From yours truly,

xoxo

~~~~~~~~~~

You sealed up the envelope containing your love letter for your husband, your other half, your soul mate, and hoped that it would bring him a hint of delight in his usual dark, empty and deadly war days.

Somewhere in hostile Germany…

With barely enough sleep from the night before, Bucky rested his eyes for the few minutes they had before it was out on another day of fighting the opposition. The faint sound of bombs dropping was heard in the distance. His heart started pumping in both fear and excitement to be out there again.

As his eyes were closed, he sat and wondered what his wife was up to at the moment. You were most likely at work. What would you have for dinner later? Something good, he hoped. It would at least be ten times better than what he ate for breakfast, soggy bread with a slice of cheese on top.

His mouth watered at the thought of a homemade meal from you right now. You always made the tastiest and fulfilling dinners.

What were you doing after? Out with your girlfriends? Were his parents coming to visit? Either way, he hoped you had the most beautiful time being as carefree as you always were.

When the darkness came, and it was time for bed, what would you be doing? Had the day been exhausting that you dropped dead on the covers as soon your head hit the pillow, or would you stay up and think about him?

His mind started racing to you, touching yourself dead at night while you remembered the last time the two of you were intimate. The thought about you moaning his name so softly and innocently had him adjusting himself in the seat.

Not now, Buck. We have to leave soon. There’s no time for that now.

“BARNES! Post for you.”

Once he had the letter in hand, he immediately knew it was you from the little drawing you drew on the envelope. You always did some form of artwork on it that had his heart warm up.

A single tear ran down his cheek after finishing the heartwarming letter. He could never fully express to you and his parents how these letters had saved him when he needed it the most. When he had thought about ending it all after watching the inhumane things he had witnessed that no human should ever have to see, the pieces of love from you and his family were what kept him going.

There was still some time left before they had to go out to war again. So he took that chance at writing a reply to his wife.

~~~~~~~~~~

My Darling,

Thank you for the heartwarming letter. It found me well in the time when I needed it the most. I so long to be close to you. Trust my love that I do not forget you. I am doing everything in my power so that these few lines reach you.

I am happy to hear that you are keeping yourself busy with work, friends, and family. I’m jealous.

I miss you terribly, my love. If only we could be together soon. I’d give anything to be back in the comfort of your arms. To be tangled in the sheets together. To feel you wrapped so tightly around me in all the ways possible. To hear your laugh that fills my heart with warmth and butterflies. Soon my love, soon.

A child? I’ll give you as many children as you want when I return safely to you. We will buy a big house out in the countryside to raise our children and grow old if that’s what my wife desires.

The war? I don’t know what there is to say? I won’t sugarcoat it. The war is brutal and gruesome. It is something I don’t even wish upon my worst enemy to experience the things I’ve seen and gone through. Don’t be alarmed, my love, by the words you just read. As long as I have you in my mind, I can make it through the days and nights.

There is not much more for the time being to write to you. Just know that I am coming back to you after the terrible war is over.

I love you the most. From your brave soldier,

xoxo

~~~~~~~~~~

He sealed it up in an envelope, and he once again hoped that this wouldn’t be the last letter he ever wrote to you.

A few weeks later…

You waited anxiously out on the steps of your home for the postman to arrive. Legs were bouncing up and down in anticipation if today was the day a new letter from James would arrive.

“Morning, ma’am,” the postman nodded at you. By now, he knew very well who you were as he would find you most days waiting for him to bring you the mail.

“I believe this is yours.” He handed you a single letter. A smile on his face once he saw the excitement on yours when you realize it was from your husband.

“Thank you, George.”

“Have a wonderful day, Y/N.” “You too.”

You opened it right there on the steps. There was no time to walk a few meters into the house to read it.

You took the time to read the lines on the paper written by your love. Sadness came over you as you read the part about war, but a smile was left on your lips nonetheless after you had read the whole thing a few times over.

You clutched it to your heart. To try and feel that extra bit of love that radiated off it. A few tears rolled down your cheeks.

Soon my love. Soon you will be back safe and sound in my arms again.

Credit @ firefly-graphics for the wonderful divider

Thank you for reading <3 Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated if you liked it! As well as a reblog to share it with others!

If you are going to join the taglist please show support in following my blog as well!

Marvel Taglist: @whothehellisbuckybarnes @phoenixhalliwell @x-goddess-of-nature-x @trulysuccubus @skyesthebomb @whoreforsamwilson @natashadeservedbetter @beth-winchester21 @mrs-salvawhore @soldierstucky @missswritings @sariche @claudiaatje @myakai13 @paintballkid711 @ttalisa @teti-menchon0604 @J-e-nster @-im-fantastic- @donut-crazs @tatestripedsweater @feetoffthetablee @uraesthete @mae-black @midnightdragonzero @julia2000love @yvngzxx @midnightzonzz @kaystacks17 @missroro @living-that-best-life @alwaysclassyeagle

Bucky Barnes Taglist: @sirrwritesalots @acciosiriusblack @academiawhoree @feescher @cigarettesonmars @doyoumindifislytherin-1 @yippikaiyaymotherfucker @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @hemsbucky @ripredwing @90smalfoys @rosiebrands @falcvns @jazzseb11 @my-patronus-is-a-raptor @milkshakelol @maddnastyyyyy @obxcalm @poetic-heart

Let me know if you want to be added/removed!

If your name is in bold it means I can’t tag you for some reason. My apologies!

209 notes · View notes

peachscribe · 3 years

Text

peach’s summer book list

i had a lot of fun compiling the list of books i read during the 20-21 winter, so i decided i would do a summer one as well! i still have a lot of books i own but haven’t read, so im definitely not lacking in material

if you didn’t see my winter list, how my book list works is basically like this: i read a book that i own but have not previously read, write a short summary immediately after finishing the book, write down my thoughts on the book, and then provide a rating for the book. i also might include background info on why i read this particular book/feelings about the author, but that depends on the book. that’s how each entry works

without further ado, let’s get started!

1. Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

okay so i absolutely adore another book by andrew smith (written after grasshopper jungle) called the alex crow. it’s one of my favorite books of all time, so naturally i wanted to see if grasshopper jungle would make me feel similarly. just like the alex crow, grasshopper jungle’s plot is. so fucking weird. it stars austin szerba, a teenage polish kid who lives in ealing, iowa, and is often sexually confused regarding his girlfriend shann and his best friend robby. and in ealing, iowa, austin and robby accidentally and unknowingly unleash an unstoppable army of huge six-foot-tall praying mantis bugs that only want to do two things: fuck and eat. and i just have to say: andrew smith’s got an absolutely dynamo writing style. alex crow is similar, where it’s a book about kind of everything all at once, framed in a moment centering around teenage boys. it’s fantastic, and it’s more than a little gross, and i love it. this book made me feel so many things, and i thought austin was such an amazing narrator and main character to identify with. this book has it all: shitty teenage boy humor, fucked up science experiments, and poetic imagery that will make you want to cry. and explicit lgbt characters.

412/10 andrew smith what do you put in your water i just want to know

2. Burn by Patrick Ness

patrick ness has written a plethora of some of my favorite books (such as a monster calls, the chaos walking trilogy, and the rest of us just live here) so when i saw this one in the store i knew it would be a great one. burn is an alternate history fantasy that takes place in 1957 frome, washington, during the height of the cold war, and it begins with a girl named sarah and her father hiring a dragon to help out on their farm. but there’s not just dragons, farm living, and cold war tensions; there’s also a really shitty small town cop, a cult of dragon worshippers and their deadly teenage assassin, a pair of fbi agents, and a prophecy that sarah’s newly hired dragon claims she’s a part of. i think eoin colfer’s highfire was on my winter list, which also featured a story that included dragons and shitty cops, so when i first began burn i thought it was funny to have two books that had both things. you know, if you had a nickel etc etc. but that’s really where the similarities end because burn is entirely it’s own monster (dragon). burn is entirely invested in its world, and its fascinating. not only that, i had no clue where the book would take me next. there were so many surprises and amazing twists that honestly just blew me away. this book also includes beautifully written complicated discussions on family, race, and love - it features interracial and queer romances as the two most prominent romance plots which was such a nice surprise from a book i wasn’t expecting to have that kind of representation. this book is witty, fast-paced, and a very heartening read - i absolutely adored it.

9/10 dragons and becoming motivated by the power of love and friendship are so fucking cool

3. As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann

i hate this book! as meat loves salt is a historical fiction novel which takes place in seventeenth century england, which is going through a grisly civil war. the protagonist, jacob cullen, is a servant for a wealthy household and is engaged to another servant in the house. but due to certain events that are almost entirely jacob’s fault, he flees the house and is separated from his wife. from there, he joins the royal army and meets a kind soldier, ferris, and the two become fast friends. jacob and ferris’s relationship begins to bridge past friendly, and jacob struggles with his homoerotic feelings as well as the growing obsession and violence inside him. also, they try to start a colony. listen, i don’t know how to describe the book because so much happens, but it basically just follows jacob and all the terrible decisions he makes because he is, truly, a terrible person. ferris is kind and good, and jacob is scum of the earth. he sucks so bad. the entire time i was reading this book (which took absolutely so long), all i wanted was for jacob to just get his ass handed to him. i wanted to see him suffer. and it’s not like i just personally don’t like him - i believe the book purposefully depicts him as unsympathetic even though he is the narrator. i did enjoy the very in depth and accurate portrayal of what life would’ve been like in seventeenth century england, and i think it was interesting to read a character that is just the absolute worst person you’ve ever encountered and see him try and justify his actions, so if you enjoy that kind of thorough writing, then this book would be perfect for you. however, i did not see that bitch ass motherfucker jacob cullen suffer enough. i’d kill him with my bare hands.

2/10 diversity win! the worst man on earth is mlm!

4. This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab

i know ive had a friend tell me how great one of schwab’s other book series is, but truthfully i bought this book because the cover is sick as hell and it was on a table in the store that advertised for buy two get one free, i think. something like that. anyway, this savage song takes place in a future in which monsters, for whatever reason, suddenly became real and out for blood in a mysterious event nicknamed the phenomenon. august flynn is one of these monsters, but he takes no pride in that fact and only wants to feel human. kate harker is the daughter of a ruthless man and is trying her hardest to be ruthless, too, but deep down she knows it’s just an act. their city, verity, stands divided, and kate and august stand on either side - but when august is sent on a mission to befriend kate in the hopes of stopping an all out war, the lines begin to blur. this book rules. august and kate are such interesting and dynamic characters, and the narrative is familiar while still being capable of twisting the story around and taking the feet out from under you in really compelling ways. this savage song is part of the monsters of verity duology, and i can’t wait to dive into how the story continues and finishes.

11/10 sometimes you can judge a book by it’s cover

4a. Our Dark Duet by Victorian Schwab

this is the sequel and finale for this savage song and i’d figure i’d update everyone: fantastic ending, beautiful, showstopping, painful.

12/10 loved it and will definitely be keeping an eye out for schwab’s other books

5. White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

oh boy. okay. white is for witching is about a house, and it is about the women who have lived inside of it. when her mother dies abroad, miranda silver begins to act strangely, and there’s nothing her father or her twin brother seem to be able to do about it. she develops an eating disorder and begins to hear voices in the silver family house, converted to a bed and breakfast by miranda’s dad; and she begins to lose herself in the house and the persistent presence of her family legacy. white is for witching switches perspective dizzingly and disorientingly between miranda, her twin eliot, miranda’s friend from school named ore, and the house itself. this story is a horror story as much as it as a tragedy as much as it is a romance as much as it is a bunch of other things. oyeyemi brings race, sexuality, nationality, and family into this story and forces you not to look away. this book is poetry.

(like i mentioned briefly, this book heavily deals with topics of race and closely follows miranda’s eating disorder. read responsibly, and take care of yourselves)

15/10 this book consumed me and i think i’ll have to read it another 10 more times to feel it properly

6. These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

okay. okay. strap in for a ride. these violent delights is a romeo and juliet style story, taking place in glittering 1920’s shanghai. the city stands divided - not only between the foreign powers encroaching on chinese land, but also between the scarlet gang and the white flowers, who are at the height of a generations-long blood feud. juliette cai, heir to the scarlets, has recently returned from four years abroad and is determined to prove herself ruthless enough to lead. roma montagov, heir to the white flowers, is standing strenuously on his place as next in line due to a slip up four years prior and is desperate to keep hold of his title. and in the midst of juliette and roma’s burning history with each other threatening to combust, an unnatural monster lurks in the waters of shanghai, loosing a madness on scarlets and white flowers alike. this book has it all - scorned ex lovers, political intrigue, deadly monsters, and all set on a glamorous backdrop of the roaring twenties. i absolutely was enraptured by this book and the way it plays around the story of romeo and juliet so well that it easily became it’s own monster, but with the punches and embraces of something classically shakespearan. gong does just an absolutely breathtaking job of fitting this fantastical story amid the larger world of shanghai and the real life historical events that had shaken the city to its core. completely immersive and outstandingly heart racing.

17/10 i was chewing on my fingernails for the last thirty pages and will continue to do so until the sequel is released (our violent ends, 16 nov 21)

7. The Antiques by Kris D’Agostino

you ever heard of the american dysfunctional family story? this is most definitely that. at the same time george westfall’s cancer takes a turn for the worse, a hurricane hits the east coast, and suddenly all at once the issues of his health, the hurricane, and all three of his children’s achingly dysfunctional adult lives are crashing into each other. reunited by george’s death, the westfall siblings have to face their grief, each other, and the problems in their own lives they attempted to put on hold while planning their father’s memorial. this is a nice story about grief and loss and love and somehow finding the humor amidst it all.

(this book does include a depiction of an autistic child who does experience several pretty bad meltdowns due to ignorant people around him not understanding how to cater to his needs. im not an authority on what depictions are or are not harmful, but i do believe this depiction is ultimately loving and well-intended.)

7/10 it made me laugh and cry and was generally one of those books that somehow hit you close to home

8. Fierce Fairytales by Nikita Gill

fierce fairytales is a poetry anthology that reimagines classic fairytales from a modern, feminist viewpoint, acknowledging that the line between hero and villain, monster and damsel, are not as clear cut as the classics try to make you believe. this book also includes illustrations done by the author herself, which i think is really cool. my personal favorite story reimagining was the story of peter pan and captain hook, called ‘boy lost’ which looked at how peter and hook’s relationship began and rotted. all in all, i think this collection of stories had a lot of important things to say and said them in frank, easy to understand poetry and prose.

7/10 beautiful message and pretty prose, but at times a little cliche

and that’s all from the summer! my fall semester starts tomorrow, and overall i feel very good about all the reading i did this summer. i even read four other books not on this list for work! so i definitely feel like i made the most out of my time, and im really glad i was able to read so many stories that made me feel a variety of different things

thanks so much for reading this list, and let me know if you read or have read any of these books and tell me what you think of them!

happy reading<3

#book recs #book rec #book rec list #grasshopper jungle #burn #as meat loves salt #this savage song #monsters of verity #white is for witching #these violent delights #the antiques #fierce fairytales #just like my winter list i did write ever review immediately after finishing the book and i think.#i think here you can really tell what my immediate reactions were based on how the review is written fbfjfjd

55 notes · View notes

icecreamkink · 3 years

Text

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD.

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo, lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass, shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is, the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’, “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it.

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out!

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha.

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying*

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE, and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof

and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. )

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :(((((((((

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf

wwx: fucking w demonic energy jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch??

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no.

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go.

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. . . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg . spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . .

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like ? ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also so thrilling (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say)

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris.

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng. being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance.

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all??? amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD.

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future

one of the ?? things i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE.

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???”

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn.

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding.

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever

BAT WEN NING

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock”

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face.

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself!

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe.

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities. *longest oh boi ever*

#m.#ANYWAY #ENOUGH TALKING #THIS IS SO LONG #LOL #but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want #rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently??#cql #untamed #the untamed #fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough #also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo #IT WAS V SHOCKING #i did not recognize him at a l l #but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice

51 notes · View notes

honesthammie · 3 years

Text

Te amo

I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.

13th doctor x female reader

Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.

Probably terrible as its my first songfic

I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations

This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.

I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.

It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.

I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!

I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.

I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.

I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!

I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.

As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:

Spanish basics and need to knows.

I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.

I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.

A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.

Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.

I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.

I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!

I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!

"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.

The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.

The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."

My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"

"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"

What. The. Fuck.

Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.

"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.

We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.

First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .

As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.

"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."

"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."

Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?

"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?

A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.

Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.

"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."

"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.

She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.

We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.

"So did you tell her?"

"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"

Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.

"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.

"Those are just friendly affec-"

"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"

Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.

Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.

I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.

"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.

"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.

"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"

"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.

Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.

Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.

The TARDIS

I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.

I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.

Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.

I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.

"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.

As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.

"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."

The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."

"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.

"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.

"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.

"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.

She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:

"Te Amo"

#13th doctor #thirteenth doctor x reader #13th doctor x reader #female reader

30 notes · View notes

liannyeong · 3 years

Text

Crimson (Chapter 9)

Summary: Yujin realizes her feelings.

Word count: 4473

Pairing: Jaebeom X OC

Warning(s): fluff, and a mild mature scene

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

A/N: Sorry for the delay, but here’s a longer chapter! ^^ Had more fun writing this chapter for some reason :p Anyway, do show your support for my works by buying me a coffee! Follow me on Twitter for random updates.

Standing in front of the mansion, Yujin has never felt anything like this before. It's like she finally has her life in her hands, perfect in every way she wants it. It’s as if the lever has switched in her mind, because she actually feels excited about what her future will hold. The eagerness in her to truly live her life by Jaebeom's side, as his equal, as his life partner. She realizes that there's nothing more that she wants, but the happiness of being with a beloved one. It feels like coming back home.

Yujin hears the howling of the wind, the rustling of the trees. She glances at the garden, the path beyond the arch as mellow as ever. The plants are well-maintained by the Earth faes, Yujin supposes. The greenery is as vibrant as it is. Before she turns back to the mansion, she notices a small flicker of light inside the garden. Momentarily, she catches a glimpse of the long pathway, as if there’s something in there that wants her to enter.

“What’s wrong?” Jaebeom’s voice snaps her from her thoughts.

“The garden…” she mutters, frowning that the light is gone. “I thought I saw something…”

Jaebeom follows her eyes, but then dismisses it. “Come, the others are waiting for us,” he says as his hand goes to her waist, urging her into the mansion.

When the front doors are pushed open, it reveals the servants lining up neatly, a smile on their faces. “Welcome home, Master and Lady Im!” they greet in chorus, bowing politely.

Yeri steps forward, her eyes shining in delight. “Let me take your bags for you,” she offers.

“We have prepared a feast for you in the dining hall,” Chan pipes up, gesturing at the room.

Jaebeom nods, ushering Yujin with a hand on the small of her back. Yujin hears a soft giggle from Yeri, who shoots her a knowing look. Yujin rolls her eyes at the female, but she can’t help the blush on her face. Yujin realizes she did miss Yeri’s presence.

Like a gentleman, Jaebeom pulls out the chair for Yujin. He opts to take the seat next to her, instead of the one at the head of the table. Truly, Chan has prepared a feast for their return, and Yujin doubts she can even finish them all. The servants leave the couple alone as they dine.

“I’ll be dealing with some matters later. If you need anything at all, do ask the servants,” the male says, much to Yujin’s dismay. They had a whole week to themselves and it was enough to make her forget about Jaebeom and his hectic schedule. It’s back to reality now. Still, Yujin fears that the routine that they just created will stop. She’s worried that the time they spend together would dwindle.

"I'll make time for you, I promise," Jaebeom placates the female, noticing her disappointment. "I'll be sure to have my meals with you, especially breakfast and dinner."

"Why not lunch too?" Yujin asks, lips jutted out in a pout.

He sighs, placing a hand on her knee. "If I have lunch with you, there is no way I can get anything done. Anyway, isn't it great that I'm spending time with you for breakfast and dinner? That way, I can start and end my day with you."

The male taps her nose and there's something so endearing about it. Yujin would be lying if she didn't like the things he said.

“But what matters do you have to handle anyway?”

There’s a moment of hesitation before Jaebeom finally answers. “I want to start a revolution.”

Yujin pauses her chewing and stares at the male.

“I don’t want any halflings, or any other non-pure-blooded faes to experience what I went through,” he continues. “I want to protect them, to give them strength. So, I’m snooping around, trying to recruit more of these faes. At the same time, I’m gathering information for the loopholes of the Fae courts.”

“Why did you not tell me this?” Yujin asks softly.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t support it.”

“Oh, Jaebeom,” she lets out. She cups his face with her hands. “You have such a pure heart. How can I not support your goodwill?”

The fae takes her hands and presses a kiss into her fingertips. “Oh, how lucky I am to have you by my side.”

Yujin smiles at him, before pecking on his lips. They continue with their meal, but Jaebeom has her chair pulled closer, such that their thighs touch. He doesn’t even let go of her, always keeping a hand on her somehow. As they eat in silence, his hand initially goes around her hip. Then, he retracts it for a moment before placing it on her knee. As time goes by, his hand slides up slowly, tracing up her thigh. Yujin shifts in her seat, feeling sensitive despite the layer of clothing. Yet, his touch burns through, as if his hand is directly on her skin. She tries to push his hand away, suddenly aware that they’re in a common area. The servants might come in unannounced! Fortunately, Jaebeom hovers his hand when he notices her fidgeting. But it is short-lived, for he looks over his shoulder, a knowing look on his face. Yujin avoids meeting his eyes and pretends that she’s unaffected by anything at all.

The hand disappears but Jaebeom tips her chin, then she feels a thumb smear against her lips.

“Such a messy eater,” Jaebeom's voice drops low, and it induces a hot feeling in her stomach.

At this point, Yujin throws caution to the wind. She curls her fingers around his wrist, keeping it in place. Her eyes locked on Jaebeom’s face, she darts out her tongue and licks the smudge on his thumb. There is no way she can miss the way his eyes grow dark and heavy. Jaebeom stares at her, fixated on watching the movement of her tongue. Yujin sucks his thumb, hollowing her cheeks. Then, she licks a final stripe up before pulling away, a string of saliva connected to the thumb. Lastly, she releases her hold on his wrist. She notices how Jaebeom’s throat bobs as he swallows.

“There, all clean,” Yujin mutters.

Jaebeom lets out a shaky exhale. He opens his mouth--

They hear a whistle in the room. Jinyoung is standing at the edge of the table, a plate in his hand.

“Congratulations to the new couple. But I suppose the honeymoon wasn’t enough?” Jinyoung comments offhandedly, ignoring the blush that appears across their faces. How long had the fae stood there as an audience? The electricity that was coursing between the two of them immediately dissipates, replaced by embarrassment. Yujin can’t even describe how much she wants to ground to swallow her up right now. The Water fae takes a seat across them as if he saw nothing at all. He states plainly, "Because if you don't mind, I'm just trying to have a peaceful breakfast here. In the dining hall. A common area.”

"You're just jealous you haven't got anyone in your life!" Jaebeom snarls.

"Even so, you must know that there is something called the bedroom for such acts?" Jinyoung retorts, calmly taking a bite off his sausage.

Jaebeom thrusts his fingers forward, and a string of fire lashes towards the Water fae. Jinyoung dismisses it easily, waving his hand across, a small barrier of water defending him from the attack. The water turns into steam, and the male looks up. He darts his eyes between the two of them, raising one brow.

"I suppose I should be relieved that you two are on good terms," the fae says.

Yujin looks at him in confusion. What's that supposed to mean?

Jinyoung seems to notice her questioning eyes. He meets them directly, a mischievous glint in his blue orbs.

"If you must know, Jaebeom was terribly whiny during the courting period. He went all, ‘I talked to Yujin today! Yujin fell asleep in the library, so I shifted her to the loveseat. We chatted but do you think she felt uncomfortable that I carried her to the loveseat?’” he mimics. “You have no idea how my ears bleed!"

Yujin casts a glance at the targeted male, and sees Jaebeom all red, from his cheeks, up to the tip of his ears. He seems too embarrassed to meet her eyes, though he sends a deadly glare at his brother. Yujin can't help but laugh.

"I didn't know you were that cute!" Yujin coos. "You always seemed so cool-headed, I didn't think you'd have such a cute side to you!"

Jaebeom looks up at her in wonder. "You think I'm c-cute?"

Yujin can't help herself from pinching his cheek. "Very cute."

She hears a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the room. "Here they go again..." comes a mutter. "You know what? I think I'll just eat in my room. Thanks for ruining my peaceful morning."

With that, Jinyoung stands up, plate and glass in his hands, before walking off. Yujin and Jaebeom burst into laughter.

---

It’s a given that Yujin spends most of her time in the mansion library, enjoying the quiet silence while being engrossed in the books. But on days that Jaebeom has more time on his hands, he would pop by and accompany her. Secretly, she loves that he prefers to spend the time with her. She loves being pampered by the male, loves receiving his attention.

Yujin has taken her spot at the loveseat near the fireplace, peacefully reading her novel. She's nose-deep into the book that she didn't notice the presence of the Fire fae. Not until, he invades her personal space, snuggling his head onto her lap, much to her pleasant surprise.

"I just need a nap," he says, words slurring. He’s making himself comfortable, legs stretched out, feet dangling over the arm of the seat, hands clasped over his stomach.

"You could have gone to your room. The bed--"

"But I want to be close to you," he cuts, eyes slowly blinking.

Before Yujin can even say anything else, the male has closed his eyes. Immobilized but pleased to have the male around, Yujin lets her lips curl upwards. She shifts her book into one hand, the other carding through Jaebeom’s long hair in a constant motion. Soon enough, she notices his breathing has evened out, his expression peaceful. Not wanting to disturb him, Yujin tries not to move at all, keeping herself as still as possible.

Before she knows it, the sun has reached the horizon, the day getting dark. Yet Jaebeom is still fast asleep on her lap. Her legs have gone numb from staying in one position for so long.

"Jaebeom," she calls out softly, but there is no response.

The sunlight that filters through the glass windows cast a golden shadow onto his skin. He dazzles in the sun. He looks so peaceful. His eyes still tightly shut, Yujin uses it as an opportunity to roam his face. His hair is now tousled against her lap, some strands all over his face. She can't help but brush them away, making it easier to see him. She notices a pair of moles above his left eye. His fringe is long, reaching below his brows so it has hidden away those beauty marks from her. His nose is round, his jaw chiseled like a marble sculpture. Yujin wonders if all faes are this beautiful?

As often as they have cuddled, there is something uniquely intimate about this very moment. It's like Jaebeom's beauty is only for Yujin to see. Being in his most vulnerable state, it’s as if he trusts her entirely not to commit any peculiar acts. As if he's giving himself entirely to her.

Yujin brushes her fingers against his cheek and it's soft under her touch. His skin is inhumanely smooth and flawless. Her eyes cast to his lips: pinkish, thin yet plush. She briefly wonders--

Jaebeom spurs awake, eyes slowly fluttering open. He looks up at her, seemingly dazed from sleep. He glances at her hand then back to her face. Flustered, Yujin retracts her hand.

"Good, you're awake. My legs are cramped," she sputters.

But Jaebeom doesn’t move away. Instead, he turns on his side, nuzzling his face against her stomach.

“Just a while more…” he mumbles into her clothes, barely audible.

“Jaebeom, please, my legs--”

He abruptly sits up, and wordlessly maneuvers her.

“Wha--”

Yujin finds herself being laid down, much like Jaebeom did. But this time, they are both turned on their sides, facing each other. There isn’t much space to put two grown adults together like this, but they managed. Jaebeom throws an arm around her waist and slots their legs together.

“Let’s stay like this a while longer,” he mutters, eyes closing again.

Yujin doesn’t argue, only snuggles closer to the male, shutting her eyes too.

---

The downside of having a free Jaebeom is that he doesn't leave Yujin alone, sticking by the female all day long. He follows her around like a puppy. At first, the female found it cute, but there are times in which Yujin just wants to enjoy her book in solace. How is she to move around freely when he keeps tailing her?

"That's it, I've had enough!" Yujin huffs, annoyed. She chases the male out. "Get out! Leave!"

Jaebeom has the audacity to look hurt, like a kicked puppy. His shoulder slump as he is being dismissed. Yujin reckons if he was truly a puppy, she can see his tail between his legs as he walks away.

Yujin watches as the fae descends the stairs. Then, she sees it happen: how he misses a step and falls forward. Out of reflex, Yujin lunges and grabs him by the arm, pulling him back with great force that he topples backward. In his effort to stabilize himself, his hand grapples for something, which happens to be Yujin’s arm. He ends up pulling Yujin along. She yelps in surprise, and hits her head with something rather firm but not concrete.

Yujin groans, pushing herself up and that’s when her breath hitches. She fell right on top of the male, chest to chest, faces inches apart. Yujin has her palms pressed against his chest, and judging from her position, her head must have collided with Jaebeom’s chest. The male’s red eyes stare up at her face, pupils dilated because of their sudden close proximity.

Flustered, Yujin tries to scatter away, but Jaebeom wraps his arms around her waist, holding her still.

“What are you doing?” she flounders, trying to break apart.

“How romantic. You fell on me,” the male comments, raising his head up, his mouth at her ear, “Or should I say, you fell for me?”

His voice has gone low, and something about it makes her feel weak. Something about it makes her stomach pool with heat. Like tension in springs, she feels wound up. She is sure that she might blow up one day.

Yujin pushes at his chest rather weakly. "Ha ha, very funny..."

There’s a smug look on his face. He brushes a loose hair strand from her face, tucking it behind her ear. He then tips her chin, forcing the female to look at him only.

“I love you,” he exhales so softly, that Yujin barely catches it. Hearing those words for the first time, it takes her breath away. Her heart pounds in her ears.

His eyes have gone to her lips. Yujin feels his thumb grazing against her bottom lip. He darts his eyes back up, meeting hers. “You don’t have to return my feelings yet, but I will make you fall for me. Even if it takes years, I’ll keep trying. The challenge will make it more worth it, I’m sure.”

Yujin can’t find the voice or the words to respond to him at all. The male is the first to pull away, slipping his arms from her body, laying it flat on the floor. Yujin rises, brushing her clothes from the invisible dust, just to keep herself busy.

Jaebeom stands on his feet afterwards. He takes her hand, lowering his body to plant a kiss onto the back of her palm.

“See you later, my love,” he utters, before descending the stairs.

Yujin watches his retreating back, her heart still beating hard in her chest. She holds the hand that Jaebeom has kissed close to her body, cradling it as if it’s something precious, something fragile.

---

"I'm surprised you're not expecting yet," Jinyoung says out of the blue that Yujin drops a book, the thud so loud that it echoes across the entire library. Jaebeom is long gone, probably having to deal with his revolutionary matters. The Water fae looks at her suspiciously. "Or are you--"

"No!" she hastily answers, blushing at the implication.

Jinyoung shrugs his shoulders. "I mean, if you want to keep it a secret, I guess that's fine with me--"

“W-we haven’t even...” the female mumbles weakly.

“Oh,” the Water fae lets out. “My bad. I thought with all that frolicking, you both would have done it--”

Yujin covers her ears, embarrassed. Jinyoung laughs. He leans against a bookshelf, silently observing the female.

“You make him so happy,” he says a while later. “I’ve never seen him this… sweet. It’s sickening, even. But if he’s happy, well… What can I say?”

Yujin is unsure on what to say. She was never there to experience how the old Jaebeom was, how his world has changed ever since her arrival. But if Jinyoung has spoken about his change, then she’s certain that there is truth to it. That Jaebeom has become more gentle, he has been happier with her around.

“He makes me happy too,” she begins slowly. “Initially, I hated him. I didn’t like the idea of being married to someone I didn’t know… But now that I’ve gotten closer to Jaebeom, I don’t regret it. I’m thankful to be married to him. I wouldn’t want any other.”

Jinyoung offers a smile. “I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to hear that.”

“I do want to make him happy,” she confesses. “There were a lot of times when I hurt him so much. I have to make it up to him. And make up for the lost time.”

“You have come to love him, haven’t you?”

“I-- L-love? No way!”

The Water fae crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Oh, you’re not? But you seem rather sure that you want to stay with him till the end of time. You said it yourself, you don’t want any other. Is that not love?”

Yujin keeps mum, staring at the many books before her. Has she truly fallen in love with Jaebeom? She definitely enjoys his company, revels in the way he showers her with affection and attention. At the same time, she likes his hugs, his kisses, his touch. It never fails to bring her warmth. And there were a few times when she initiated a kiss, or any romantic gesture. Has she been in love with Jaebeom all the while, without her realizing it at all?

Jinyoung quirks a smile. “Found your answer?”

Yujin looks at the male with imploring eyes. “What do I do now?”

The male grins. “I’ll help you.”

---

Yujin spends the rest of the day cooped up in her room, refusing to step out at all. She blames Jinyoung for the ideas that he has been feeding her mind from their conversation. She hadn’t expected Jinyoung to go through with her everything about procreating with a fae. This includes learning the anatomy of a male fae, which isn’t different from any human being. After all, they pretty much look similar, able to effortlessly and flawlessly blend in with human civilization. Still, Jinyoung goes into the details about the entire process. It has Yujin’s cheeks burning, and she had desperately hoped that the impromptu lesson would end as soon as possible.

Now, she has to deal with the afterthoughts of it alone. The visual imagery used during the lesson isn’t helping at all because right now, her mind can’t help but imagine Jaebeom… Yujin pulls at her hair, trying to force such sinful thoughts out of her mind. What would Jaebeom think of her like this? Definitely unflattering, her mind supplies.

The door creaks open and Yujin has to cover her body with her blanket. She’s thoroughly clothed, but for some reason, she feels very much exposed. Naked even.

Jaebeom strolls in, a sweet smile on his lips as he greets her. It comes almost naturally that he slips himself under the covers, greeting Yujin with a kiss, be it on her forehead, cheek, or hand. He rarely aims for her lips anymore. She wonders if it is out of respect. After all, she hasn’t told him of her feelings.

“Jinyoung has told me very interesting things,” he begins, words drawing out.

Yujin pretends she doesn’t know, putting on an innocent, clueless face. “What things?”

“That you were reading books on fae anatomy,” he says, a hand curling around her hip.

“Well, I was just curious on how different fae anatomy is to human anatomy--”

“Hmm, and what about procreation? Why were you reading that?”

Yujin flushes, covering her face with her hands. “I-- I didn’t-- Jinyoung was the one who decided to talk about in detail, and then he forced me to listen to his explanations and then handed me a stack of books to read on--” she rambles on, voice muffled.

Jaebeom throws his head back, a boisterous laugh filling the room. “I know. I hope you didn’t find my brother pushy.”

“He was…” Yujin mumbles to herself.

Jaebeom scoots closer, his arms caging her in a hug. He hooks his chin on her shoulder, head leaning against hers.

“You don’t have to force yourself,” he utters softly. “I told you. I’ll wait for however long it takes for you to love me back. We have a lot of time.”

Yujin shakes her head. “You have a lot of time, I don’t. You’re immortal, I’m not.”

“Technically, I am, but I can still die.”

Yujin scrunches her nose in jest. "Yeah, if someone uses a silver weapon and stabs you in the heart."

Jaebeom stays silent. Yujin feels the mood suddenly sink. That was a stupid thing to say, Yujin berates herself. How could she joke about it when it involves his life? She had wanted to make it up to him, to make up for the lost time, and yet she cracked a bad joke to him. Jaebeom, who has done nothing but take good care of her. Jaebeom, who has always looked at her fondly, who has treated her as an equal. She doesn’t deserve him. He should be with someone better than her, someone who wouldn’t hurt him at all. Yujin doubts she can ever do that. Will Jaebeom still be willing to love a broken glass like her, when he suffers cuts just by holding her?

"I have long forgiven you about that night," he confesses. “I’m not holding it against you.”

“I know,” Yujin mutters. “I want you to know that I won’t try to kill you anymore.”

Jaebeom offers a smile.

“It’s true, I won’t do it anymore,” Yujin feels the need to convince him further. "Because I-- I’ve come to like you too much that I can’t imagine my life without you, much less try to kill you--"

There's a pin drop silence before it takes her a moment to realize what she just said. Her eyes dart to Jaebeom slowly, cautiously, hoping that he didn't hear it at all. But who can she fool? Jaebeom managed to catch her sudden confession, already looking at her with wide eyes.

"I--" she opens her mouth.

"If you were gonna tell me to forget it, I definitely can't," he hastily interjects. "There is no way I can ever pretend I didn't hear that."

"Jaebeom, I--" What is she going to say? Is there any point in taking her words back? She has come to terms with her own heart, and if she truly wants to make up for the lost time, she shouldn’t be wasting any. She takes a deep breath.

“I’m in love with you, Jaebeom. Your company, your presence, your voice, your face, I like them all," she confesses. Then, she reaches for his face, holding it with her hands. "I promise you: I will never turn my back on you. My heart and my life, I offer them to you."

"Yujin..." he mutters, almost like a whisper. Like a stolen breath.

Yujin leans in, and Jaebeom meets her halfway. His lips are soft against hers. He kisses so sweetly that Yujin finds herself chasing his lips when he pulls apart.

"We should stop..." he mutters.

But Yujin presses their lips together again. This time, she throws her arms around Jaebeom's neck, her weight pushing them closer. Jaebeom makes a little noise as the momentum throws him backward, down onto the bed. Yujin doesn't care, continues kissing him fervently as if he's the oxygen to her lungs. As if she's in dire need of him.

Jaebeom lies completely flat on his back, as Yujin throws her legs over his hip, effectively straddling him. Any gap between them is gone, their bodies pressed together as one. Her hands roam under his shirt as they kiss, until Jaebeom curls his fingers around her wrists delicately.

"You don't have to do this," his lips hovering over hers. The male lays still, body not crumbling under her weight.

She tugs his hand away, shaking her head. "I want this."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she exhales, firm. She leans down, cupping the side of his face gently. "Please."

The man tilts his chin up and she closes the gap again. Warmth blooms through her body in a way she has never felt before. The rustling of fabric, the cold air that hits her snaps her to reality. This is real, she realizes. The lights have gone out, only the moonlight seeping into the room. In the darkness, she can make out Jaebeom's form, the light reflecting in Jaebeom's eyes. Yujin shudders at the sight of his dilated pupils. Yet, ever so gently, Jaebeom takes care of her. Each kiss he leaves on her skin burns deep. Each hitch of breath sets the waves in motion. It's like the high tides on a full moon, the rolling of the waves against the shore. Each time they meet, they sink deeper into the ocean, into a world of only the two of them. With a final crash, the shore is doused, the waves subside.

Pure bliss.

#got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 writing #got7 fanfic #got7 imagines #jaebum #got7 jaebum scenarios #got7 jaebum #got7 im jaebum #got7 im jaebum scenarios #got7 im jaebeom #got7 im jaebeom scenarios #got7 jb scenarios #got7 jb

23 notes · View notes

desertsongpdf · 3 years

Text

i couldn't continue 'these violent delights' i have thoughts :*)

1. i dont have a problem with the author's writing style, which is actually really good. and it's not a bad book either, it's just not good either. there is something about the book that doesn't cash in on it's full potential and it's putting me off. i'm not even sure what it is. maybe it's just that it's the author's debut novel or that it's trying soo hard to disguise itself as a donna tartt style novel. i think it would so sooo much better if it didn't focus on boxing itself and trying to pass itself off as dark academia. as long as i have a good murder mystery with a properly written lovers-to-enemies trope, which i didn't get because of the unnecessary bit's for the whole dark-adacemia-esq thing.

2. maybe it's my problem that i didn't enjoy the book too much because as soon as i read the summary etc etc my mind jumped to the conclusion that julian and paul's relationship would be somewhat like the eli ever / victor vale dynamic (from the villains duo(tri?)ology) which is what it seems to be selling itself as. the summary of this book from goodreads says:

"Paul sees the wealthy, effortlessly charming Julian as his sole intellectual equal—an ally against the conventional world he finds so suffocating. He idolizes his friend for his magnetic confidence. But as charismatic as he can choose to be, Julian is also volatile and capriciously cruel. And admiration isn’t the same as trust."

^^^^^^ THIS IS THE VICTOR VALE / ELI EVER DYNAMIC (except for maybe victor being rich instead of eli but still!!!) . i don't know if this happened by accident but like 9 chapters into the book and the only thing that had developed was the romance i couldn't even see the plot in the near future and i was running out of patience.

3. [[[[spoilers]]]] in the beginning of the book, the first chapter (? prologue?) is about how they kill someone. which reminds me of the beartown first chapter. which goes (paraphrasing) "one teenager walked into the woods with a double barrel rifel, put it to the head of another person and shot." thats the entire first chapter of beartown and im sooo interested. i think that's what this book was going for as well but three chapters in i realized that the murder in the beginning wont happen until a lot later in the book so i lost interest. and im not even saying that in the beartown book the details of the first chapter happened in the beginning of the book (they happened in the third last chapter) but the way it was written + the foreshadowing, i kept thinking it was going to happen anytime them but in this book i knew that it was pointless waiting for it because there was so much to come and it wasn't keeping me interested.

4. i didnt understand?? paul's family?? and their role?? in the book?? its just. not needed. they seem to have been put in to further emphasize how lonely/sad/depressed etc etc paul is and everytime they talk about him soo blatantly in front of everyone thinking they're being secretive just for emphasizing paul character in the book its frustrating to read.

5. the medical jargon (if thats what it was i cant tell anymore) and all the chapters of them in their classes are just so 😐 to me. i dont get any of what they're talking about because it's so fancily worded and all college stuff so im just forcing myself to get through the chapter waiting for something else to happen that i can understand. (again i've read books where their college classes / what they discuss in their classes play a role in the plot and even if it is fancily worded it's still explained well enough in the same paragraph for me to understand)

6. the pacing was soooo off i could write a whole essay about just this one thing. there's too many chapters about his family (see point 4.) and sometimes there were entire chapters for one class but their entire friendship/romance of over a year was condensed into three chapters. i didnt. nope.

yeah thats all. i stopped at chapter 9.

#books #.txt #these violent delights

11 notes · View notes

viviae · 3 years

Note

can you like. tell me a little about dragon age. seeing your posts about it has got me interested in playing but i have little to no clue what it actually is

Boy can I explain nonny <3 This is a bit long so strap in and im sorry

Dragon Age is (currently) a three game series composed of Dragon Age: Origins (PS3, Xbox 360/Xbox One, PC), Dragon Age: II (PS3, Xbox 360/Xbox One, PC), and Dragon Age: Inquisition (PS4, Xbox One, PC) and its really unique because of its selling point that your actions impact the games as you progress. Like if you kill one character in one game they’ll stay dead through the rest of the series which makes you feel lived in the story and that your actions matter. Dragon Age is also an RPG so a roleplaying game kind of along the same lines of DnD where you get to make and play your own character. And yes there are romances and you can be gay.

The First Game of the series is Dragon Age: Origins where you choose from a selection of six unique (technically seven) origins or backgrounds for your character. You can be anywhere from a human noble or a Dalish elf, the unique elven culture in Dragon Age of nomadic clans dedicating to reclaiming their past. But eventually, from the events in your origin, you wind up a member of a secretive and elite order known as the Grey Wardens whose duty is to protect the world from the Blight.

The Blight is this spread of a horrible disease known as the Taint but is characterized by the presence of Darkspawn, a kind of zombie like creature who exists only to destroy the world. Grey Wardens take the heavy duty of protecting the world from the Blight, which have nearly wiped all of humanity multiple times, at all costs. And currently the country of Ferelden is under going a blight and due to events you wind up the only Grey Warden with your companion Alistair to save the world and reunite Ferelden which had fallen under a civil war.

Along Origins you meet many interesting characters. Alistair is your friendly co-warden who has a mysterious parentage that he hides under his happy go lucky attitude. In contrast to Alistair is the witch Morrigan who is your favorite goth swamp queen who would insult you and you thank her. In addition you meet your chaotic bi rogues Zevran and Leliana. Leliana is a nun who is on the run and hiding from a dark past and she is suspiciously good at murder. And Zevran is not at all hiding his aptitude for murder as an Assassin for hire who tried and failed to kill you but who can ignore that charming bastard?

Dragon Age II follows a much smaller story of a Ferelden refuge who had escaped from the Blight to the city of Kirkwall named Hawke. Unlike in origins where you get to pick your background 2 limits you to Hawke but fear not, Hawke is a loveable bastard and you can still customize them. Throughout DA2 you get to experience all the delights Kirkwall has to offer: Demons, crime, corrupt cops, and fighting your way to survive in this city and make a name for yourself.

Where Origins sets the stage for the world DA2 you are the actor in that play - literally the game is divided into 3 acts that take place over a span of 7 years. DA2′s main conflict is the argument of Mages vs Templars, as in DA’s lore while there are those who are born with magic they are forced to live in prisons policed by the Templar order and the church. You explore the more political arguments of; are the Templars right in their fears of magic as Kirkwall is filled to the brim with corrupt mages or do Mages deserve the chance to live and prove themselves freely from their prisons.

Your romancable companions in DA2 are all bisexuals as the true theme of DA2 is: be gay do crime. You have the foils of Anders: the runaway mage who fled from the prisons the mages are housed in and is determined to bring mages to freedom, and Fenris: the runaway escaped slave who curses magic for only inflicting pain and suffering in his life and wants his warnings to be heard about the dangers magic bring. In addition you also have Merrill, your cute but terrifying Dalish mage who would probably murder you with a cute smile and then go oops. And of course, my pirate wife Isabela, who lives a life free from commitment and is dedicated to the idea everyone should have a good time no matter the cost. Also while not romancable Hawke’s bff Varric deserves every ounce of praise he gets as never before has the energy of “two idiots sharing a braincell” ever been so well adapted.

Then finally we reach Inquisition. After the events of DA2 it triggers a full on war between the Mages and Templars that is destroying the land and causing severe damage that neither side can handle anymore. Desperate for an end to the conflict the Divine (err... fantasy pope) calls for a meeting on both sides... only for the entire thing to literally explode. Killing everyone present and causing a hole in the sky which now means demons are raining like cats and dogs you are the only one to survive. In Inquisition you can once again return to pick between unique backgrounds like in Origins but you don’t get to play through those backgrounds sadly.

You now possess something on your left hand which gives you the ability to patch up the hole in the sky that is pissing demons and due to being the only survivor everyone is incredibly confused about you. Eventually the Inquisition is formed around you, the character they are calling the Herald of Andraste (Andraste is fantasy Jesus) due to your ability to seal the holes. The mystery unfolds as over the course of the game you learn what caused the explosion, how you are connected, and what exactly the mark on your hand is.

DAI has the largest numbers of romance options so I’m gonna give a quick bullet point list for them all

Iron Bull (Pansexual, All Races): A Qunari (think Tiefling but big and beefy) mercenary who is far more clever than he lets on, as well as being the rope top dom of your dreams. Literally! Bull’s romance is a really healthy bdsm relationship if you are interested its very well done

Josephine (Bisexual, All Races): Your loveable ambassador and advisor for the inquisition. She is a workaholic noble who is a tried and true classic romance. Sweep her off her feet and duel for her hand all while navigating the nobility

Dorian (Gay, All Races): The flamboyant pariah rock star mage, he demands attention whenever he walks into the room. Although he wants to be all talk and no emotions make no mistake he is making puppy eyes at you the entire time and gets deeply offended if you say he is. Also not going to lie Dorian is the best piece of gay male rep in gaming history.

Cassandra (Male-only, all Races): Your stern warrior wife who is all serious no funny business... expect she is a bleeding heart romantic who reads horrible smut for fun. You wish to COURT HER?? I mean... if you want 👉👈 she won’t say no...

Blackwall (Female-only, All Races): Your weird dilf who wants desperately to prove himself every step of the way and help people. He is a constable for the Grey Wardens, but all the details on him seem murky... Ah well I’m sure its nothing, the Grey Wardens are a secretive order after all.

Sera (Lesbian, All Races): My wild child, monster chugging, beer guzzling, arrow shooting lesbian. Sera is here for a fun time and not a serious one, she’ll always make sure to keep you humble and ensure you aren’t getting to big for your breeches.

Cullen (Female-Only, Human and Elf only): Cullen’s the Inquisition’s commander who oohh boy is steeped in a lot of trauma. Cullen’s actually a character you get to know through out the series and see just all the horrible nonsense he’s been through. But he is your tragic self loathing... he isn’t princely but he is your adorkable charming

Solas (Female-Only, Elf Only): The humble apostate who joins the Inquisition out of curiosity of the breech, he is an expert on what the hell is going on with that hole in the sky. However, he holds a wisdom that goes far deeper than your typical apostate. Smooth talking and refined he carries a heavy cloud over him.

I left out a lot and all the nonsense with books and what have you but this is the easiest overview of the series I can offer. It’s main selling points is the deep story and characters throughout the games. And of course who doesn’t love the ability to make and roleplay your own character as a bonus? The games are bit of a flawed gem and Origins in my ugly child but they are truly a delight if you are interested

#eren.txt #eren.asks #anonymous #long post #not putting this under a readmore im sorry #im just lazy #i can answer more questions if you have them #Anonymous

19 notes · View notes