#im off for the next several days so i am Centered

[shameboree]

You completely missed the point of that post. Ppl noticed a weird trend of the mean girls/bullies they knew in high school going in to nursing & were trying to figure out why they would go in to a field where they have to take care of others. I didn't notice this till it was pointed out to me by my Nurse friend + my friend who is a CNA in pre-med. Saying "there's a concerning trend of toxic women gravitating towards nursing" is not saying "nurses are toxic!" It's not about nurses. It IS a thing.

YESSSSS ive been waiting So Patiently for some brave anon to come properly Champion the We Hate Women cause directly, THANK YOU i appreciate your UNWAVERING bravery in properly schooling me about how Mean Girls are the exact equivalent of murderers and child rapists. i literally never would have seen it. the MEAN GIRLS FRM HS BECOME NURSES joke has always been a thing and i know this and see this but AS U HAVE PROPBABLY SEEN bc i admit it on a near constant basis i am Kind Of Stupid so like i never once made the connect btwn women who are just huge total cunts VS very specifically men who rape kids and murder ppl which honestly was PEAK DUMBASS OBLIVIOUS on my part bc absolutely i shouldve seen past the named issue of Male Power Exploitation used specifically to commit Heinous Crimes and seen that what really needed to be talked about was Toxic Women, which is always unquestionably the most pressing issue at ANY given moment and im soooo so So Sincerely Sorry that i missed that. it was probably my toxic dfab nature taking control of my rotten little estro brain and i cant BELIEVE i forgot to check myself

THANK U BABE my reading comprehension is TRASH GARBO and i appreciate being humbled. i also do rly appreciate not letting me slip for not explicitly disclaiming in detail what i was actually upset about (Unreasonably weve established) bc boiling it down to such a 1d take REALLY showed my dumb little ass!!! im So Bad at time management so i did make the dipstick idiot choice to attempt economizing words so i could eat in the 15min i had before going back to do my job+tech job for 6 heavy workload pts and it did us both SUCH a disservice bc u had to come all this way and give me those words so i could learn better when i Should Have Known. im sad you felt like you had to anon i tho wish youd embraced your bravery enough to show your face, more than anyone you Deserve the recognition

#listen im not going to Actually Fight but there is such a specific reason that post upset me and to pretend its bc #i didnt Understand The Point is so uncharitable and disingenuous #if u wanna discuss this off anon im totally chill having a priv convo to explain my side here #ANYWAY DAMN I JUST WOKE FRM A COMA S/P THE WORST SHIFT OF MY LIFE like id lit rather time travel back to endure my wrst day of chemo instea #also you know what field Actually attract literally the absolute most vile women on earth? childcare. can tell you Firsthand #the batshit insane settlement idve got if id started a lawsuit for the workplace harassment i endured that admin condoned n participated in #BABE... ID BE DOORDASHING EVERY MEAL!!!! ID LEAVE $50 TIPS AT SBUX!! ID ACTUALLY GET SBUX!!! #ALSO techs/pcas/psas etc are widescale Infinitely Worse than nurses wrt n ALSO awful to pts but you know who gets the flak for THAT?? guess #i cant speak for licensed nurse aids bc id literally rather die than work in a snf or any ltc but UNLICENSED TECHS?? #those are the REAL mean girls from highschool. theyre mean to e/o mean to nurses mean to pts mean to the families. its WILD #id also rather die before working day shift but i can only assume theyre mean to drs also #also every evil woman that goes into nursing goes to day shift its like a rule or something and report is always an Event #anyway anon if it isnt clear what my angle here is LIKE I SAID im cool talking abt it in dms #im off for the next several days so i am Centered #kels talks #LUCKY FOR ALL U BITCHES THEY COLLAPSE TAGS THIS IS A WHOLE POST RIGHT HERE!!!

[themanwhowouldbefruit]

my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me

#“no need for follow up” #“yeah you did have several cysts we scrapped off your remaining ovary but. dw about it. idk why they were there. dw about it. oh also your #ovary on that side was freakishly huge but. dw about it. it might go away. dw about it #*doctor shrug emoji* “ #“go see a gyno next year maybe. but not me im too important for that. go find and onboard a gyno to your situation. next year maybe idk lol” #he barely even looked at my incision like #this fucking appointment could have been an email. or a phone call. or they just could have let me start driving again. also i forgot to ask #if i can stop drinking ensure now or after the 6 weeks? cause that shit cost $$$$. but he probably would have been super unhelpful if i had #fr fr this guy only wanted to give me the time of day when he thought i might have fun cancer inside and now he's like gtfo!!!! get your #fugly cancerless ass out of here!!!! recover from a major surgery on your own you swagless cancerless loser 🤣 we arent helping your #swagless ass!!! #anyway it seems weird and fucked up that im was never offered to see a physical therapist and i guess am going to have to blindly trust my #abs they sliced thru are healing or whatever and to rawdog my own physical recovery of my muscles? even just dumb shit like. my center of #gravity has drastically changed since the mass removal and my back hurts like shit all the time because all my posture muscles were built up #for when i had an extra 30 pounds of cyst hanging in the front and my posture and walking reflected that. and i lowkey don't know how #hard i am able to be with my healing incision because its really tight and makes me hunch forwards still. like i would really like to know #how much i can safely or maybe should be forcing my skin and incision to stretch. without damage? is that crazy #am i crazy??? #this shit is why i didnt see a doctor for 2 years until my problems had snowballed into a 30 pounds ovarian cyst that was crushing my other #organs and had one of my kidneys all backed up with piss. and even getting emergency treatment for it everyone was like. how did you like it #get this bad?? how could you not know you needed to seek medical treatment???? like. bro. seeking medical treatment isnt even a guarantee to #get medical treatment. #anyway he said my “remaining ovary seemed low key polycystic but dw about it. don't quote me on that im not dealing with it.” #bro i dont want to doctor google it i wanted an actual doctor to deal with it. fuck you. #like. maybe even a doctor who knows my situation so i dont have to struggle with getting someone to believe me and take me seriously. #but whatever. back to trying to figure out the daily protein and extra calories my body needs for recovery via doctor google i guess. #its fine 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬

[liloinkoink]

What DnD alignment do you think the Lamplight characters are? Not just Martyn and Ren, but Bigb, Jimmy and Grian to. Also Scar if you have an idea of him.

i can certainly try! i’ve said before my not-really-secret about lamplight is i’ve only rlly played dnd once. so uh. i’m not actually sure how you define alignment? so i’m just gonna go off of tumblr posts i’ve seen

first. i’ll be honest w you. i don’t really know for jimmy or bigb. i just… im writing a renchanting au. i am very much in the camp of “i will develop exactly as much is needed to tell the story i want to tell and not much more.” unfortunately, i also don’t watch jimmy or bigb like at all so i couldn’t tell you what alignment either of em would be bc i don’t feel confident that i know either of em very well

next. i asked flowey, crystalline author, what they thought for alignments for grian and scar. they gave me several paragraphs on scar before settling on chaotic neutral and one on grian before settling on bird (he’s very hard to pin down an alignment for)

as for Ren and Martyn…so. first, i define lawful/chaotic as “how much one follows a personal code, which Can be The Law but can also just be a personal set of morals.” and i saw a post a while bakc which defined good/evil as more like… “selfless/selfish.” those aren’t really how those are traditionally defined, but that’s what i’m working w for this

which. Martyn, love him, i don’t think i need to say he’s not a man bound too terribly by a moral code. one of the fics i have lined up which i would like to get to one day includes him using Ren’s magic to pretend to be an enchanter for money. he can be kind, and he grows something of a self-imposed code of conduct the more he grows to care about his oath, but he didn’t want to be stuck with Ren for the first few days bc he was afraid of having to follow strict rules. i’d say he’s neutral in that regard, possible sliding Slightly more lawful. and he’s absolutely on the more selfish side (too much of a survivalist not to be) which puts him evil (lol)

and Ren… he has a code, but it centered around Dogwarts, and i think it loosened considerably when Dogwarts fell and he gained Martyn instead. like… Ren isn’t above killing (exceedingly violently) to protect Martyn. he like… he used to have a stricter code, i’m sure. he cared a lot about being a good god for the city, probably about being helpful and kind as often as possible. but he doesn’t care about that anymore. he doesn’t need to be an exemplary citizen. he just needs to keep Martyn safe and he will give anything to do that. but he strikes me as neutral and sliding Out of lawful. and, of course, he’s selfless and will give anything for his chosen domain. Ren, God of Dogwarts, was probably lawful good. Ren, God of Martyn, is probably neutral good

#i dunno if this all makes sense it’s 3am #i also don’t know if i’ll agree w this when i wake up but that’s okay #oink asks #lamplight au

[angrykpoprants]

Its been a while

TW: Child abuse, Dr*gs

It's been a long time. I believe I started this blog when I was 16 years old lol... I turned 24 a few months ago!

So why haven't I been posting? Mental heath. My word of advice is if you are being abuse, actively abused, speak out.

I have been in therapy and well, I can say that I was finally able to let someone know what I experienced.

My grew up with my father being a herion, meth and cocaine addict. Fortunately he has been clean and sober for 7 years. Some issues with my brother, and the worst of all a disturbingly narcissistic gaslighting physically and mentally abusive sister. I am the baby of the family. My sister is more than a decade older than me.

Without going into too much detail, I git diagnosed with ASD as an adult... my sister used to call me "a dumbass ret*rd".

Age 6, I was setting up Christmas cookies for Santa, she didn't like how I arrange it, tried to place them her way... I told her that I didn't like it that way, I thought my was was creative. She stormed off into her room while calling me retarded, then on Christmas Day at the restaurant I tried to sit next to her to apologize, she pushed me out of the booth so that I would fall on the ground.

At the age of 7 she forced to drive a motorboat (no regard for my boundary, despite me saying "no im scared") I was crying the whole time while driving, while her fiancé (now husband) had the boat go max speed, while situationally being told if I make one mistake everyone (my family) on the boat will die. Guess what? I dont have my drivers license. Im too scared to drive.

I had helped her with thanksgiving decor, I had accidentally knocked over a glass candle stick; it broke... her response as a grown married woman with a kid? She pushed me out of her house in the rain, as I tried to grab my shoes she said No and to walk home bare foot. Then proceeds to kick me square in the center of my chest ... I was 13, she was in her mid 20's

She got mad at me because I didn't want to be friends with her sister-in-law's rude cousin during our Vegas trip so after I babysat her kids for 3 hours, she comes back to the hotel room belligerently drunk, yanks my MacBook from my lap, holds it open... only to smash it on the next bed, the hinges broke.

there is more in between, but the last incident I had with her was she blatantly lied to me in the car coming home from Koreatown, I had a panic attack about her lie... the situation was starting to escalate, I asked her to not speak to me for about 5 minutes so I can ground myself. but she can speak to anyone else in the car. Apparently she didn't like that and that I dont have panic attacks.

Did I confront her before? Oh yeah, several times... what happened? "Im sorry but...", "that never happened" "Your exaggerating" "It didn't happen like that" and worst of all "im sorry you feel that way"

[love4hobi]

bts is holding him back lmfao don't bother calling yourself an army from now on 💀

i havent claimed to be that for a while.. although i do still listen to their music and solo stuff which to normal people would be more than enough to classify me as a fan lmao

but even though i doubt youre even going hear me out at all, im gonna use your ask to sort of clarify what i was talking about the other day for anyone willing to listen. because although i am currently only interested in "stanning" jhope (which by the way is a completely normal thing to do, literally armys are the only people who demonize so heavily the idea of only caring for one member of group) i do feel like the things i said came off a bit harsher than i meant and believe it or not i really dont have anything against the individual bts members

most of the people that are all upset about me being a "solo stan" are probably to far deep into that cult mindset to bother trying to understand what i have to say but im going to try anyway. and i really hope that u could at least try to read it with an open mind.

first of all, when i said i need bts stop holding jhope back, i would like to correct myself in that what i should have said was that i need HYBE to stop holding him back, because i honestly feel that all the members of bts are being equally fucked over by how hybe has chosen to handle this hiatus, their solo careers, and basically the last 2 years of their career. and i dont think they have as much of say in how these things happen as people think. if u dont mind id like to bring in a visual aid 👍

now although this is just an estimation of what the next few years will look like and some little details might be switched up, i think it still gives u a good idea of how things will probably play out. literally all i meant by "bts is holding him back" is that weve been waiting since 2018/2019 for new jhope music and now that this rushed and poorly promoted release of jack in the box is over he wont be able to release anything until like 2025 at the very least. and its because hybe is going to have every other member release solo projects consecutively regardless of whether they are genuinely organically at a place of being ready to release solo music, all in order to get them back as a group as fast as possible to increase profit again. meanwhile jhope is at the top of his popularity right now following hobipalooza and yet his solo era is officially over now and he will most likely be radio silent for the next few years.

there are so many things that frustrate me about how this has all played out. first of all the fact that their enlistment was pushed back so far that it has now come at arguably the worst time in their careers. hybe SHOULD HAVE had them enlisting or putting amout solo projects as soon as the pandemic ramped up instead of forcing them to release some of the worst songs in their discography, causing them to feel burnt out and that theyve lost their direction (which is literally exactly what they said in the festa video so dont even try to say im twisting their words). as someone who still genuinely enjoys bts' pre-pandemic music, i will never understand why some fans standards are low enough to think that their releases after mots7 compare to their previous music at all

but regardless of how i feel about their recent releases, hybe has been holding jhope back since mic drop. he has been consistently getting the least amount of lines and center time, to the point where he was able to showcase more of who he is as an artist in this past month of his solo release and with his lollapalooza performance than he has in the last several years as a member of bts. i dont care if youre a "solo stan" or not, you cant argue that. how can it possibly be good for someones development as an artist to always be pushed to the side like that. he has even talked in an interview before about actively holding himself back as to match the level of the other members.

he had less than 5 total minutes of lines for the entire set list of the permission to dance on stage concerts. hybe has one of the best dancers in the industry under their roof and yet theyve had him locked up in the basement since mots7 doing such simple choreo. and now, just as he finally starting to gain some recognition as a solo artist, he will be radio silent for the next 3 years AT LEAST.

now as for what i said about the rest of bts not being on jhopes level when it comes to performances, i realize that it probably sounded harsher than i meant it. but its honestly nothing against the other members, there are very few idols or artists in general that could have put on the sort of performance that jhope did at lollapalooza. its not a bad thing that someone like jimins excels more in a group performance (which hes said himself), or that people like rm and suga arent as much performers as they are producers and song writers. but its also not fair that jhope should have to be held back from his full potential within the group because of that

anyway, the point of everything ive said is that its not the bts members im referring to when i said bts is holding jhope back, its the way hybe treats them as a unit even when it comes to their solo projects. there was so much demand for jhope at lollapalooza he could easily being doing like a tour right now or other sorts of performances, literally any sort of promo like that, but hes not able to because hybe is holding him back and his solo era that weve been waiting years for was literally over within less than a month with the absolute bare minimum promotion on hybes end and we will most likely not see much of him anytime soon. so i hope you can understand why as someone whos a fan of him, thats a bit frustrating to me.

bts have had a good run as a group, i really do still like listening to their old music and watching their performances. and if in the future any of them do release a solo project that piques my interest id like to think that id be free to express my interest in it on my blog without being boxed in to the term "solo stan". but the way hybe treats them as a they exist as a group is clearly not productive for any of them anymore and only benefits the company in the form of profit. and if youre too far up their asses to see that then i dont know what to tell u

#mail #gonna keep my askbox open for anyone who would like to talk more about what ive said but only if youre more mature about it than this anon

[creaturebehavior]

ugh i’ve reached that point in the night where staying awake is now draining me and it’s time to sleep but i for some reason don’t want to lay down and sleep

i guess i should pick a comforting show and turn my lights off and try to relax

i feel like super lonely this evening. all night i’ve been trying to shake it. and i just can’t find a way to meet this need. and it’s becoming more apparent every day that i should not be so isolated but im terrified of talking to people. even when leo calls half the time it’s like i can’t even get any words out because i’m so afraid to speak

when i’m not doing well, i have an even harder time with my filter, and it’s really humiliating and it makes other people uncomfortable, and so i am afraid to say anything now.

last year i was basically begging my school to let me take a leave of absence as i was in mania and psychosis and dissociating all the time and they wouldn’t allow it and i continued going to school when honestly i needed to be at home or at an inpatient, like i was so incredibly unstable and every day i would contemplate checking myself into a behavioral health center because i was so incredibly suicidal but i just kept on going to school and trying to graduate. and i am honestly kind of traumatized from that experience. and i feel so ashamed for how i behaved in front of people during that time that now i am afraid to act at all, i am afraid to speak at all. i no longer speak to the friends i made at school because i still feel too unwell to have a healthy and not toxic and unhinged conversation with them, plus also i have done so much reflection on the kind of people they were and how i felt i had to mask heavily and join in on talking shit about every single person that wasn’t me, jill or taylor. it made me even sicker. my defenses were up and i picked two people to latch onto and mirror in order to try to survive through school. and at the end of it i hated myself so much, i felt like oozing toxic tar and i couldn’t believe all i had done and said, all out of fear.

and i’m having to confront several of my patterns. it’s so fucking insane, i dropped out of school when i was 16 and didn’t return to a school until i was 26. and i fell right back into behaving how i behaved when i was younger in order to survive public school. i got defensive and mean. and i have to come to terms with this side of myself and figure out what to do about it. because i do not want to be on the defensive anymore. i don’t want to be on the offensive anymore. i want to be myself and not freak out and get all weird every time i’m in a situation where i have to be around other people like that

my seroquel has kicked in so i’m losing my train of thought but did i mention i don’t think taylor or jill are my true friends?

you know who i do still trust though? Selena. she will be the first person i reach out to next time i am feeling stable enough to socialize. She has psychosis too, and i felt safe around her. She understands and i think she’d still love me if i took my mask all the way off. I guess i just don’t know how to feel ready to engage in a friendship with someone. i’m experiencing really low empathy through this breakdown and it makes it incredibly difficult to care about anyone except myself or my favorite person. i am resisting the urge to judge myself over that. god, i literally have bpd. jfc.

when i was younger i used to care so much about all my friends. and now i literally am so burnt out, i’ve given so much of a shit about so many people for my entire life and i finally just hit a wall like it’s so difficult sometimes for me to care about other people and like care about what they’re saying to me and like care about their lives and like be interested enough and have energy to listen to them but i just don’t.

i tire my own self out sometimes because i’ll like, say all this shit to leo sometimes for example and i don’t even care what i’m saying but i keep saying stuff and i’m like god SHUT up ema i don’t care!

so like. it’s hard for me to like. care about something a friend tells me. like mostly everything feels so unimportant

#processing

[aalt-ctrl-del]

Would you like to hear about all the ridiculous active shooter information we're given in the drills in my district? For context, I live around a 20 minute drive away from oxford. Sometimes, we block our doors, other times we run out of the school. People on the 2nd floor are encouraged to (and I'm fully serious) jump out the window in an emergency. We are told to fight and told the best weapon in our class. Band students are encouraged to fight with our INSTRUMENTS. We're told 4 times a year.

Oh anon, I am an ancient beasts from before the Columbine Era. But we had active shooter drills in my school, and they were terrifying.

I believe the whole premise behind "turn off lights and hide under your desks" is so when the shooter enters, say... a classroom, they are in the mindset (the school board btw) that the shooter will use the weapon of choice - if not an AR-15 then a rifle, or shotgun - to hit whatever moves. Meaning children in the center of the room may be the unluckiest - think how you enter a room, and take in the layout. So some children are supposed to be shot, hopefully only injured, and the shooter will go away to work on the next room.

The fact is, we don't know the actual motive of a shootist when they arrive to initiate the mass shooter event. Are they present at the school to take out a certain group of kids, a specific demographic? Or is that person there to cull as many children as they can? The answer cannot be anticipated, thus to mitigate the slaughter, children are told to hide under cover and not get shot fatally.

Of course, with the Uvalde shooter in texas, I browsed a report that stated the execution wiped out one classroom in around 30 seconds. One classroom of children. Some children decapitated and severely mutilated by the weapon - but we know all about these reports.

For these children, there was no hiding and minimizing damage, or waiting for the shooter to leave. He went into the classroom to cull out some kids, and might've gone on to do more - I haven't seen a report on how much ammunition he carried, or how much might've been sold - we have to protect the weapons merchant, after all.

So maybe he used up all the ammo right then and there, and went on to the class where he killed some other kids and then squatted in a closet.

But that's sort of the thing. The best that the school board can come up with is for children to hide, and for a few to survive the encounter. Under the pretense that the shooter is on a "shoot anything that moves" and in a heightened emotional state, we thoughts and prayers that the mass shooter will hit what moves and keep going, targeting the next moving thing. The school board does not factor that the shooter will stand in a doorway and shower bullets with an AR-15.

I think when I was a small beasty, the school didn't worry too much about a direct hit by a disgruntled American with an erection for the 2nd Amendment. It was the ideal that a person (usually a man) that was emotionally disturbed, would arrive with something like a rifle or pistol, and go through the school taking hits on the ones that moved. And we also have to factor what sort of school it is - is it one with classrooms set outdoors, or are the classrooms contained in a main building? Either way, if the shooter has a high powered weapon that shells on bullets in a few seconds, kids will be clipped, injured, or outright killed. It doesn't matter if the kids scatter outside, or if they're trapped in a hall. And Im told the AR-15 as all military weapons are very accurate, so less chance for getting away, even if there was a humane desire to "Set the kids free". Because a classroom makes them a sitting fish in a swing.

But Columbine was pretty unique. At my school, we were getting weekly drills and chilling outside. People thought that another shooting was planned for Hitler's birthday - because let's face it, the Columbine shooters were fucked up little nasties - kids were allowed days off from school on Hitler's B-day, out of fear a school would be targeted. Just randomly.

I remember my class, a bunch of lil babies, all huddled in the back of the class with our teacher crouched in front of us and watching the classroom door. And the janitor or office admin would go around the school tugging on doors.

My mom is a retired elementary teacher and she was always very proud of her students, and she taught at a little rural community she commuted to. She liked to tell me about her principle, or whoever, was really violent with the doors. They have to hammer in to the kids that this was a militant drill, and they could very well die. But the staff really liked to jerk at the door to make sure it was locked, and then pound on it with their fists for a few seconds. And the kids had to be quiet, or they failed the drill. And the teacher can't reassure them that, "This is a drill. We're safe."

Because one day, it won't be a drill. I don't care where you teach, or what you do for a living. One day, it won't drill. Mass shooters will travels 500 miles or more to reach their target. That motivation for hate and malice is hard to dissuade, and our country does not allow mitigation efforts to undermine the shooters capacity to cause mayhem and damage children.

Our Senators and Supreme Court members throw their arms into the air and say, "A determined person will find guns and they will kill, so we can't really do anything to undermine peoples rights to own those sort of weapons."

But what it really comes down to is the dismissal and accountability. There is no intervention, but the attorneys and police force are very eager to pass the blame onto anyone who looks like a good scapegoat. A teacher. A janitor. But not the merchant who handles the gun, or places it into the hands of the next mass shooter. Because weapon trade is revenue. And children are a very costly commodity.

The ideal that preserving the rights of americans and the notion that people should "protect themselves from the tyrannical government" is a cope out to the actuality of the situation. These people are very pleased that it causes pain and distress, that no one cares the children are slain or left in danger, through lack of action. The communities come together and mourn, and the people who sell these weapons laugh and joke. It is very impressive how fast and effortless it is, to slaughter children in a classroom - this is a big selling point, and will perpetuate for the next series of mass shooters, the sort of gun to purchase so they can make an impact.

This is America. The cruelty is the only point of the narrative.

#anon #anon ask #mass shooter #uvalde #texas #bread abbott #greg abbott #ted cruze #2nd amendment #the cruelty is the point #mass shooter drills #school shooting #roe v wade

[bandofchimeras]

posting a lot rn sorry Im gonna readmore this vent that is a standin for next therapy session

i have a lot of trauma from losing my last few housing situations over interpersonal conflict and not having enough money or being good at managing my money. I was too ashamed to ask for what I needed until it was desperate and I had no options.

I have big decisions to make that are producing so much anxiety. and am burnt out. but also grateful and astounded at the miracle that is life.

so can't handle small talk right now. my whole chest is splitting open with the need to be somewhere I feel loved and safe bc I know who tf I am now....but knowing I have to make these next moves out of my own initiative

somewhere deep in my brain I know this isn't all my fault but I had to stop victim thinking to get myself out of the Hole and consequently just Shut Up about the Pain

the last people I lived with really wanted me to shut up and conform perfectly to the anxiously controlled life they'd constructed bc I was there temporarily

and for my part I was in depression self centered funk and coming out of abuse too brainfoggerd to remember the rules

One of them is a former mutual and he was also a transmasc person I had a crush on and we had a short little Thing

what they ended up doing was 1000% shitty asshole stuff like kicking me out in the middle of winter after I communicated I was in too much pain from moving in and work, and requested a two week extension, and trying to charge me illegal "storage fees" when I needed time to get my stuff after being kicked out.

my discord friends had to help me parse that these people were not my friends and did not care about me at all. I thought they did. but the guilt they laid on thick and blamed me for their actions has been dragging around my ankles for awhile and I just want to shake it off, I want to be okay and not soaked in guilt like milk toast

the situation also led to my car being stolen, getting in a crash, my cats health severely declining until she passed away this spring. just fucking wrecking ball on everything I was attached to for any sort of comfort or sense of reality.

Right before that my long term job that was....dubiously ethical, my sort of boss fired me in a similarly guilting way, and similarly could see exactly why they had a problem with me but I just, at the time I simply could not show up how I needed to. Not killing myself was an accomplishment. And this boss was deeply prejudiced against autistic people despite running a group home. I genuinely hated her guts for how miserable she made everyone around her while also recognizing I wasn't doing much better.

anyways through this time period kitchen work has become this attachment that toughens me up and feels doable while my brain is inflamed, despite being shit for my disabled body. I can't shake free quite. I don't have a permanent house and all my friendships feel weird and troubled in that way only mutual survivors of emotionally neglectful or abusive families and religious trauma can, like every thing I do or say can be wrong, or isn't giving someone enough attention or isnt the response they want or is bad bad bad bad

and so yeah, making new friends is hard

letting people in feels impossible

looking for decent jobs too

I'm not a mess in the way I have been but it's all messy inside and I'm sad and tired and very hypersensitive to rejection, every day breaks and makes me again and I miss writing and loving and feeling good

I thought pride would be so fun and make me feel better. It was cool in a lot of ways, but also grimly corporate and fangless and expensive, there were a ton of missed connections and the couple I went with was being nitpicky and hurtful to each other and even at the club dressed to the nines and dancing my little gay heart out I felt disconnected and ignorable (maybe it's just a Seattle thing, moving from a small-town environment into big urban reminds you you're nothin special all in all) and couldn't see the magic

I miss my ex or at least keep seeing stuff that reminds me of caring about her in that specific way and the bridge we tried to build across everything despite it all and I know we still care about each other just couldn't stop the fucking awful Bullshit, moving on would be easier if I could just dismiss people entirely

and at work things started falling apart too, my boss got super guilt happy at overworked caregivers and I lost all respect for him and was mega triggered and posted about it and embarrassed myself. theyre more okay I guess but everyone seems so demoralized and worn down by being criticized and used up and overcharged and under loved and I don't want to give any more right now, I want to rest rest rest and make art and I can't let myself while I'm living in someone's living room and both of us are working around eachothers mood disorders

meanwhile my family while making progress is still on about how I have to accept criticism of my gender identity if I want to talk to them about the harm done by their religious ideology and MEANWHILE I develop deep feelings for yet another unavailable cis man for bare minimum shit

i don't know I guess it feels like other people know how to have friends and love and enjoy things and I am missing the boat and if I don't change something indistinguishable super fast, it will be too late for me and I will continue to ruin every good thing that comes my way and.magnetically attract trouble

and it doesn't help that my attempts to connect online also feel desperate and awkward like I'm really a sick puppy who wants headpats but aren't we all they say

some days I do think overall it would be easier to Kermit but I can't do that to my siblings AND there are many buoyantly beautiful things bout life I am looking forward to like top surgery and kissing boys like I mean it which someday will feel real and not like a knife twist in the chest

also I haven't got enough sleep lately and my period came back so hopefully this stupid shit is more bearable in a few days I'm just gonna watch OFMD and hug myself to sleep and literally kill anyone who is a hater about the tiny things that bring me joy bc I am fucking doing my best out here to stay afloat and not yuck other people's yums either

#personal #i wanna say BPD but also just #too much shit happening #also my fuck ass ex employer has nog emailed me back about my tax documents #which i need to get my return #everything is too much i really do want and need a hug #suicide mention

[cvokhauz]

i am spiralling for multiple reasons and maybe writing it out will help. it’s very difficult to get my own thoughts under control, i have not experienced this since i was about 13. first of all, my bachelor’s thesis is due today and while it is 99% percent done i keep putting off the actual putting of it in the digital repository for minuscule reasons because once it is there, that’s IT and i cannot change it and i live in fear i will notice some glaring mistake immediately after i do that, which is irrational as fuck. anyway i gotta basically just wait for the title confirmation and upload it and then go print it. (which costs money which is another thing i am paranoid about i keep spending and costing people money and for what, being an uncertain useless fucking wreck) and then whatever will be will be.

but being in this state for so long is making me question my sanity. i can’t fucking eat, i keep hurling up everything except like orange juice and mana, i am tense and have a pit of anxiety in my stomach which makes me wish for literally anything else. passive suicidal ideation extremely common.

now, i’ve convinced myself i have ADHD or some form of neurodivergency because i fit a lot of the experiential symptoms reported by other people, mostly interest-focused attention, highly fluctuating, trouble concentrating, memory like a fucking colander, need for stimulation (always doodling, drawing, reading)

but previously (at the Bad Time when i was 13) i got diagnosed with OCD, mostly on the basis of these same spiralling catastrophic thought patterns i am experiencing now, and i distinctly remember being unable to put down a book or any other form of stimulation keeping me occupied and engage with material reality because within like 15 minutes i would start shaking and crying uncontrollably. it feels very much like i am holding on to a last tiny straw to keep myself from slipping back to that place. obviously this is due to high stress of the situation right now, but also i can’t keep going on like this and i have not found meaningful help yet. i keep self-sabotaging by forgetting my appointment dates even if i write them down immediately in several places. i dont remember, i lose my diary, i lose my phone, forget to check email. i’ve tried to pursue clinical diagnosis in a reputable center in prague bc a friend recommended it, which took a tremendous amount of energy to reach out to and communicate out all the bureaucracy, but on the day i was supposed to go there, while on the fucking train to the place, they texted me to say my appointment is cancelled due to the clinician having covid vaccine complications. so since then i haven’t been able to muster up the energy for another try but i really fucking feel like i need to because this situation is unsustainable.

this is all absolutely ridiculous because i am studying psychology and want to become a clinical psychologist myself. lol. also im wondering if the adhd-like symptoms i am exhibiting are maybe partially developed as a coping mechanism for the ocd stuff? thoughts cant spiral if you have a million of them and always jump to the next shiny thing. cant dwell if u cant even concentrate. also i’ve seen my parents this weekend and it really struck me how much of the neurosis and dwelling comes from my dad (is it genetic? is it learned bc he projected it on me when i was small?) and the hyperactivity and self esteem issues from my mum, who is quintessentially an elementary school teacher at all times.

theoretically i know what a healthy goal for my life and mental health looks like, but i can’t fucking. get there. or cant seem to be able to get there. without external support. and the worse it gets the worse i get at reaching for this support. anyway. moral of the story is - even if my bakalářka fails, i will survive somehow and do a new one and get some fucking help hopefully.

i really should see someone about this.

#tw mental health #rant

[stargirlrchive]

Subtle Chase (Regulus Black)

masterlist // request are open

request: reader is determined to be regulus' friend, regulus is reluctant and wants to be left alone. so why does he despise it so much when he is? // click here to read request

author's note(s): i don't know how I feel about this one yet. but i hope anon enjoyed this! i tried my best and i do like it but i feel like it isn't what anon wanted??? idk im insecure LMAOOO, i just hope whoever requested this enjoys it as well! also i am shit at titles, sorry about it

disclaimer: jealous!regulus but it's cute lmao GIF ISN'T MINE

pairing: regulus black x reader

word count: 1,499

You had no idea when this situation catapulted into where you were now. All you wanted was to make Regulus your friend, your comrade. And perhaps you did have a small crush, who wouldn’t? However it was easier said than done, way easier. To start off, he would not even give you the time of day. He’d ignore you, walk away from you, and even once told you that you’d never be friends.

To be fair, he said you couldn’t be friends, and in your very being you knew it was because of the pressures he had as a pureblood Slytherin. They rivaled every house in Hogwarts, even amongst themselves.

He didn’t have the support of anyone else and he couldn’t risk losing the few friends he did have, even if he did think you were really pretty.

So you made it your mission for the past school year to become friends with him, and since Slughorn’s party was coming up you thought it would be great to go together. Let him see just how intelligent and fun you are.

So as you walked through the large double doors of the great hall you scanned over the heads sporting silver and green until they spotted neat black curls, a smile instantly making its way to your face.

You walked happily, a small beat in your step at the prospect of finally making a break, you were very optimistic despite your track record with him, “Hello, Regulus! Do you mind if I sit here?”

You spoke to him as you placed your books on the open seat next to him. He looked up at you, with all the annoyance of the world on his face and ready to tell you no. But your big round eyes softened him up, made his heart feel mushy and warm, and he despised it. ”You already set your things down, didnt you?”

Your smile remained strong, unwavering as you sat beside him, “So, how has your day been so far?”

Regulus remained quiet, reading over his potions essay and trying his best to ignore you. He didn’t want to crack, he built walls, kept people like you away from him.

“My day was pretty uneventful, just studied for the exam we have for def-”

“Is there a reason you're here? I’m quite busy.”

He waved his parchment paper around in front of you,

“Oh-right. Yes, I was actually wondering if you’d like to accompany me to Slughorn’s party. As friends, obviously. But I figured since we’re the only two people he invited from our year it would be nice to show comradeship.”

Your smile was sincere, “Why would you think I would want to go with you?”

Your face fell, and something dropped in the pit of his stomach but he couldn’t stop the words tumbling out of his mouth, “Besides, I am already taking someone else, and you and I are not friends.”

You cleared your throat, before nodding quickly, “Right, sorry.”

You picked your things up swiftly and left without saying anything. Regulus was trying his hardest to push down the guilt he was feeling in the very center of chest. He kept telling himself that he didn't care for you, the two of you had no type of relationship or friendship. So why in Merlin’s name was he feeling like someone was pulling at his heart?

-

It had been several days since the last encounter with Regulus, and before this you were adamant on making him your friend. But no longer, the last time really stung. So you tried to forget and push him to the far back of your mind and pretend he never existed. He didn’t have to be so mean. And as a last stitch of effort to ease the disappointment you were feeling, you had now made it your mission to forget him.

Regulus knew it too, he was way too mean, and as the days went on and your random pop-ins stopped, he grew lonely. He’d never admit it, but it was true. He’d catch himself looking for you in the sea of people and make himself stop.

However tonight you caught his eye before he even realized he was looking for you. Your gown was a dark green and glittered off the reflection of the light. It complimented you so well and Regulus felt his throat tighten up. He felt warm all around, until he saw the 6ft something Ravenclaw smiling brightly at you, with your arm entangled around his.

It made his chest burn at the thought of you being here with anyone else. How did this even happen? You were asking him to attend with you just a few days ago, and now here you are.

He started making his way towards you, until Slughorn stopped in front of him, with three of his very influential friends and he had no way of escaping him. However his eyes followed you around the room, and the hand that lingered on your lower back.

He was fine with keeping a watchful eye on you, it made the simmering of his chest ease up when he knew where you were. That was until you had both been pulled into a conversation and you didn’t even bat an eye in his direction. Giggling quietly with whatever his name was as he whispered in your ear over the loud music. Regulus cleared his throat, trying to get your attention but you continued to ignore him.

You felt your heart begin to beat harder against your chest as Regulus reached out for you when he was close enough, “Can we please talk? Now?”

He looked insistent, and desperate so you excused yourself quickly and followed behind him as he held onto your wrist gently.

You made it to the most secluded part of the room and it was until then that he dropped your wrist. He paced back and forth in front of you “Is there a reason you took me away from Ph-”

“Why are you here with him?”

His arms crossed over his chest as he waited for you to answer, “I beg your pardon?”

“Why are you here with him? You had asked me a few days ago and now you're here with someone else.”

Regulus knew he was being irrational, but he couldn’t think straight, you just looked so pretty and you were ignoring him and he hated it. “That is none of your business.”

“I know.”

“Then?”

He didn’t know what to say, but you were finally acknowledging him, and he felt shy under your stare so he mumbled out quietly, “I don’t like you ignoring me.”

“You are so bloody confusing you know that? I wanted to be your friend, you didn’t want to be my friend. So I left you alone, but now you don’t want me to leave you alone? I don’t think that is fair to me.”

“I know that too, I don’t know. I just don’t think you need to be involved in all of this and I thought I was okay but then you show up here, with that oaf and-and I can’t stand it.”

“Philip is not an oaf!”

Regulus felt his eyes roll to the very back of his head at the mention of his name, “You know, even if we did become friends, I could still have other friends.”

“I don’t like him.”

“You don’t even know him!”

“No well after tonight I have seen enough.”

“This conversation is going nowhere, so I’m leaving.”

You began walking away from him but he reached out for you once more, “Okay-okay, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be telling you anything, and I regret telling you no, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I also think you didn’t need to parade him around and ignore me but that's something we can talk about another day.”

You laughed quietly as he continued to ramble, cheeks flushed up as he ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, I get it, you desperately want to be my friend, you can’t live without me.”

You pushed at his chest playfully to get him to ease up, and tried to stop the smile that was stuck on your face as Regulus flushed darker.

“I really want to get to know you, and hopefully have you stop thinking I’m such an asshole?”

“I never thought you were an asshole-”

He gave you a ‘seriously?’ look, “Okay, maybe the last time we talked I did think you were. But clearly I just made you nervous.”

His face cracked a smile, “Exactly.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Hey-”

You laughed quietly and moved yourself away from the wall as he spoke quietly, “So, friends?”

‘’More or less.”

You smiled as you made your way back towards the crowd, feeling a small flutter in the pit of your stomach as he laughed and followed behind you before stopping abruptly, “Wait a minute, where is your date?”

TAGLIST: @swellwriting​ @carolinesbookworld​ @theboywhocriedlupin​ @awfulmoons​ @lumos-barnes​ @fortisfiliae​ @finnofamerica​ @beskarjedi​ @aperrywilliams​ @ta-ka-shi-ma​ @SPENCELUVBOT @la-vie-en-amour1​ (LET ME KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE ADDED <3 (or removed))

#regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black imagine #regulus black preference #harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #slytherpuff #gryffindor #hogwarts #marauders era #marauders x reader #my writing #x reader #reader x character

[sturchling]

Hi, I love your stories and I saw that you accept applications, so I send you one, to see if you like it and you can write it. Somehow, Plagg takes the form of an adult (and handsome) human, and decides to destroy Lila. But not turning him to dust, but revealing his lies. To do this, use magic to pose as a school inspector or replace Bustier as a teacher(whichever you prefer).Tikki helps (either as a human or as a Kwami) Include class (Alya) and Bustier bashing. Im sorry if my english is bad.

Plagg was fed up. This liar was making everything difficult for him. Messing with his holder’s life and trying to force him into a relationship. As much as Plagg pretended not to care, he did care for Adrien. He thought Adrien should just shove the liar away and reveal her to everyone. But Adrien couldn’t just do that. His father had made it abundantly clear that if Adrien did anything to tarnish the way the public perceived Adrien and Lila’s relationship, he would not hesitate to pull Adrien out of school. Adrien’s hands were tied. Plagg had thought that Marinette might have been able to reveal her, cause Marinette had already made several attempts to reveal her. But she hadn’t had any luck in her endeavors and now several members of the class had turned their backs on her. Plagg had enough of this madness. He liked chaos, but it was effecting his holder now. Plagg was going to put this to an end.

---------------

 The next day at school, Plagg slipped out of Adrien’s bag when he wasn’t looking and left the classroom. He entered an empty classroom and started a transformation. It took a lot of energy, but soon Plagg had transformed into a human body. Then Tikki appears from the wall of the classroom, zipping over to him. “You really look like a human. I hope your plan works. I’ll give you a little burst of good luck for this. It won’t last long, since you are all about bad luck, but hopefully it will be enough.” Plagg smirked, feeling her magic wash over him. “Thank you Tikki. Now head back to the class, you won’t want to miss the show.” 

-----------------

Once Plagg felt ready, he walked to the class room where his and Tikki’s holder were. He had learned by watching TV that sometimes people come to observe a teacher and make sure they are doing their job. Since Mrs. Bustier doesn’t do a good job, letting Lila harass Marinette and take over the class with her lies everyday, Plagg thought this would be the perfect way to expose the liar and make life easier for Adrien and Marinette. He knocked on the door and Mrs. Bustier quickly opened it, looking confused. “Can I help you?” Plagg smiled, “I’m from the school board, I am here to observe your class today.” Mrs. Bustier, although clearly flustered by this unexpected visit, quickly composed herself. “Of course, come in.” Plagg took a seat at the back of the class, and waited for the opportunity to strike.

------------------

He didn’t have to wait very long. As they moved on to the next lesson, Lila raised her hand and said “Mrs. Bustier, my wrist is acting up. Could someone take the notes for me? I tried to push through it, but it hurts to much.” Mrs. Bustier smiles, “Of course Lila. Marinette, please take the notes for Lila.” Marinette gets frustrated at this, while Lila smirks. “Why do I have to take the notes for her? Her wrist was working fine a minute ago! She is just lying again!” The class erupted in accusations, flinging insults at Marinette for not leaping to help Lila. “Now Marinette, you have to set the example for the class of what being a good member of a community is. Additionally, it is your responsibility as class rep. Now start taking those notes, not another word.” Lila sighs dramatically and tries to make herself the center of attention again. “I’m sorry Marinette. If only I hadn’t worked so hard helping Prince Ali with his go green charity this last week, maybe I wouldn’t be hurt. Its my fault, I’ll just tough it out.”

-----------------

The class leaped to Lila’s defense, saying it isn’t her fault and that Marinette shouldn’t complain. Soon they were asking about Lila’s trip and the class became the Lila Rossi variety show, the lessons for the day forgotten. Mrs. Bustier was doing nothing to get the class on track, and just let them run wild. Plagg knew this was the time to make his move. He stood from the back, calling out to Mrs. Bustier. “This is how you handle a classroom Mrs. Bustier? This is shameful. Letting the class be derailed by a student who is obviously lying is bad enough, but making another student do the work for this liar without any kind of medical note to prove her wrist is truly hurt is horrible!” The class stared at him, and Mrs. Bustier was trying to defend herself but was unable to come up with anything.

-----------------

Alya stood up, ready to defend her friend. “Sir, with all due respect, Lila isn’t a liar. And Mrs. Bustier is a good teacher!” Plagg turned to face Alya. “Unfortunately miss, you are wrong on both statements. If this is how your teacher handles a classroom, she clearly has no business in a classroom. and your friend there, is an obvious liar. For example, it is well known that Prince Ali’s charities focus on children, such as children’s hospitals. And if she couldn’t have been with him in Achu last week because he was on a diplomatic trip to Spain last week. Additionally, since she started to complain about her wrist, she keeps switches which wrist is the hurt one, notice how she is cradling her left wrist now, but originally it was her right wrist that was hurting.” The class was staring at Lila, as they start to realize that Plagg was right. 

----------------

It didn’t take long for things to unravel from there. Alya tried to defend Lila further by looking up Prince Ali’s charity that Lila had been helping with. But saw that Plagg was right, Prince Ali was only associated with children’s charities. Soon the class was yelling at Lila for lying to them, as Lila desperately looked for a way to get out of this. Even Mrs. Bustier began to have doubts about all of Lila’s stories and took her to Mr. Damocles to set up a meeting with Mrs. Rossi. To say that Mrs. Rossi was furious with her daughter was an understatement. After the truancy and fake medical conditions were revealed, Mr. Damocles had no choice but to expel Lila immediately. And her mother decided to ship her back to Italy so that other members of her family could keep a close eye on Lila until Mrs. Rossi could decide what to do with her. 

---------------

Mrs. Bustier returned to her class, and Plagg finished off his visit by telling Mrs. Bustier that she needs to maintain better control of her class and keep the students from ganging up on one another. He also told her that he expects her to check any stories about absences or medical conditions with a student’s family before making accommodations that may effect the other students. Once he was sure that Mrs. Bustier would at least try to shape up, he left the classroom to ‘submit his report to the school board’. He returned to the empty class room and returned to his normal state. He went back to Adrien’s bag, happy that his plan to rid himself and his holder of the liar had worked. No one messes with Plagg’s holder.

#ml #ml fic #ml fanfic #ml salt #ml salt fic #ml salt fanfic #bustier salt #lila rossi #Lila exposed #lila exposed fic #lila salt #lila gets exposed #miraculous fic #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #miraculous salt #miraculous salt fic #miraculous salt fanfic #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir

[dreamypeaches]

rating things my bf has said during secks | rafe cameron x reader

summary: you jump on the tik tok trend of rating things your boyfriend, rafe cameron, has said to you in bed

warnings: SMUT, cursing, seriously this is disgusting. im going to hell

word count: 1.6k

a/n: oh boy folks. this one is literally...so filthy i can’t even breath right now. please enjoy. 

pope jj kie sarah topper kelce

“Don’t hold back, baby.”

10/10

-I didn’t

-he loves to hear me scream

Face buried in a pillow, wrists pulled behind your back and trapped in Rafe’s tight grip, he plowed into you from behind. You’d missed Rafe’s touch so much, having been gone for a week on vacation with his family. The texts and videos you had exchanged were down right sinful, but they were nothing compared to the real thing. You missed the way he bruised your hips, the way he held you down and pounded into you until you saw God. He missed your tight little pussy, the look on your face when he made you cum on his dick, your sweet little moans and the way you screamed his name.

But the lewd noises were currently being muffled by the pillow your face was shoved in, and Rafe couldn’t have that. He twisted your hair in his grip, pulling on it and lifting your head up off the pillow.

“There we go. Don’t hold back, baby. I want to hear you,” He growls, yanking a little harder on your locks and thrusting deeper into you. You obeyed, letting your curses and moans out into the air, adding to the sinful atmosphere of the room.

“i’m gonna f*ck you until you beg me to stop”

500/10

-true to his word

-couldn’t walk for a week

To say Rafe was pissed was an understatement. But the fury that burned within his eyes didn’t scare you. In fact, you felt your cunt start dripping in response. His hand gripped your throat, knuckles bruised and bloodied from the events earlier in the night. He slams you back into the wall and making you moan.

“You think you’re funny? Talking to that fucking Pogue in front of me? Did you see the way he was looking at you? Well, he already got his, now it’s time for your punishment.” He hikes your dress up and practically rips your panties off. You scream as he plunges his fingers into you, starting out at a brutal pace, fingers curling to hit your g-spot.

“I’m gonna fuck you until you beg me to stop,” He growls.

“i want everyone to know how hard you were f*cked’

12000000/10

-pulled me in close and bit my neck hard

-hot af

“Look at you, being such a good girl for me, taking my cock so well,” Rafe moans as he slows the speed of his thrusts, staring down at where your bodies met and the juices of two orgasms leaked out of you.

“Does anyone else know what a little slut you are? How good you are taking cock?”

You moan as he juts into you particularly hard and he reaches down to to squeeze your throat.

“I asked you a question, baby.”

“No, Rafe. No one knows what a good little slut I am for you.” The grin that appears on his face is devilish, his movements stopping completely, making you whimper. He leaned down until his mouth is by your ear, breath fanning across your neck making you shiver.

“I want everyone to know how hard you were fucked,” He purrs, strangely tender despite the darkness of his words. The he suddenly bites down on your neck, making you shout before his hips start snapping into yours. He continues to make large, dark marks across your body as he fucks you into the mattress.

“you c*m when i say you can”

2589/10

-don’t tell me what to do

-jk yes daddy

Rafe had been edging you all night. It started at dinner, a special birthday dinner for him with all his close friends. Under the table, his fingers had rubbed your sensitive nub until you were right on the edge, then pulling away as dessert was served, knowing full well that you were his real dessert for the night.

The second the two of you got home, he commanded you to meet him in your bedroom, naked and waiting. You did exactly as he said, it was his birthday after all, and you were the best present he could get. When he arrived in the bedroom, he was removed only his tie, wrapping it around your wrists and binding them tight. The next couple hours was spent with a vibrator on your clit, your legs shaking as you constantly came close to the edge but never tipped over.

Every now and then, Rafe’s mouth and fingers would join in the fun. Licking up your juices or teasing your nipples. Sometimes he would pull your panties on, leaving the small vibrator pressed up against you while he sat back and watched you squirm. You were crying by this point, all this pleasure with no release driving you crazy.

“Please, Rafe! I can’t take it anymore, I need to cum!” You whimper. The vibe is suddenly removed from you, replaced with a hard slap to your pussy that makes you scream.

“What’s my name?” He growls.

“Daddy! Please!” He smirks down at you, eyes filled with an animalistic hunger.

“You cum when I say you can.”

“you look amazing rn”

100000/10

-awe shucks

-was said in a very tender way

-wholesome

“Fuck, Rafe, I’m gonna cum!” You moan as Rafe slams into you, fingers playing your clit like a beautiful instrument.

“I’m close too baby…fuck…cum with me,” He groans, his movements sloppy as his words start to become true. You reach up, fingers tangling in his hair and pulling him down to meet your lips. The kiss is loving and passionate and hungry and pure all at once. You moan against each other as you both meet your releases. He stills inside you, pulling out all too soon for your liking and scooting down the bed to stare at your leaking center. Seeing his seed dripping from you did something to his head, making his dick harden again slightly and his love for you grow. His fingers reach out, scooping up his cum and shoving it back into you lightly, making you whimper quietly.

He sits back up, leaning over you and placing sweet kisses around your face before landing on your lips. He pulls back, staring at your face covered in after sex bliss. He loves you like this, absolutely fucked out.

“You look amazing right now,” He smiles softly as you blush, covering your face with your hands. He shakes his head and pulls them away cuddling up to you and placing several more kisses to your neck as he holds you tight.

“you’ll pay for that later”

sdhfdskkhdj/10

-i deserved it

-my a$$ was red

You’d been to enough Kook parties with Rafe to last you a life time. You were bored, left in the corner to pout while Rafe paid attention to anything but you. You were honestly tired of it, and you were going to do something about it. Finding Rafe talking to Topper by the pool, you walk up to him with wide innocent eyes.

“Hey, baby,” You coo before turning to face Topper, pressing your back up against Rafe, making sure your ass was situated right on his crotch. You spend the next few minutes in deep discussion with Topper, not even looking or speaking to Rafe. Every now and then, you would move to adjust your dress, rubbing your butt against his quickly hardening cock.

“Aw, I’m out,” You say, referring to your drink, starting to walk away.

“I’ll come with you,” Rafe says, taking your arm and practically dragging you away. He leans down and growls in your ear, “You’ll pay for that later.” The words made you ruin your underwear.

Instead of bringing you to the kitchen for drinks, he leads you out to his truck, shoving you into the passenger seat. When you arrived home, he brought you to the bedroom and bent you over his knee, hiking your skirt up and shoving your panties down. His hand met your ass, over, and over again, until you were soaked all over his lap. He lifted you up moving you onto the bed, placing you down gently in contrast to the harsh slaps he had just given you.

“Such a little fucking tease,” He whispers before unbuckling his pants and pulling his cock out, preparing to absolutely destroy your cunt.

“who’s pu$$y is this?”

infinity/10

-i knew exactly who’s

-(spoiler) it’s his

You always knew your wedding night with Rafe would be one to remember. Your bedroom life was already incredible, you just knew he would pull out all the stops for your special day. And you were right. It had started long before the bedroom, sneaking off during the reception for him to bury himself under your beautiful white dress and devour you, or you kneeling in front of him, sucking him until his covered your lips in white, suited perfectly for a bride like you.

When he got you all to himself after the party, you knew you were in for it. The sex was rough and passionate, using positions where he could always look you right int he eye as he made you scream his name. You were all his and his alone, and you would be for the rest of your lives.

“Who’s pussy is this?” He growls as he fucks into you, rubbing you clit and squishing your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him. Already three orgasms deep, you found it difficult to focus. But the look of pure passion and love glowing in his eyes fanned the flame inside of you.

“It’s yours, Rafe, all yours. Forever and always.” You breathe. He grins at you, meeting your lips in a fiery kiss as he fucks you with all the love in his body.

taglist/moots: @ilovejjmaybank @broken-jj @vindictive-hearts @wtfkie @jjmaybby @dontjinx-it @butgilinsky @rekrappeter @diverdcwn @rafecameron @prejudic3 @starlightstarkey @https-luna @sunnypogue @obxmxybxnk @jjmayybank @bluesiderudy @socialwriter @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @peachydrews @outerbanksbro @poguestyleskye @softstarkey @bricksatanakinswindow @mdlyncline @poguemackin @downbytheouterbanks @ptersparkers @prkerspogue @moldisgoodforyou @outrbanks @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @tempestuousjj @stargazingstarkey @anxietyandtacos @uwubonebabie @joshy-obx

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron imagine #obx fic #my writing

[morizoras-cave]

Sleepyhead (Request)

MCU cast x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Benedict Cumberbatch x gn!reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

Request Description: Hiya♥���could i please request a teen x marvel cast were they always find her sleeping and taking naps everywhere around set and they confront her about it and she says something about having to take care of her little siblings because her parents are never arohnd do she gets no sleep. Sorry if its to long.❤❤❤❤❤😍🥰

Warnings: irresponsible parents, negligence, slight insecurity, stress

(A/N): sorry this is kind of centered around benedict, i find these mcu cast x reader ones difficult. also im watching a belarusian war-movie from 1985 about the holocaust. its absolutely terrifying (im very serious, i’d be cautious for trigger warnings). if you’re looking for a horror movie or something, search “come and see movie” on youtube and you’ll find the entire thing there (:

At first, it had been sweet. A testament to the insomniatic youth, if you will. In every closet, behind every door, and on every soft surface, you could be found in between takes, snoring away.

They all agreed you were probably watching movies or playing games up late at night, computer screen illuminating your face. Or maybe you were chatting with your faraway friends. Either way, it was almost endearing to find you drooling on the couches scattered around the set.

Sweet and endearing at first, yes. But then the feelings about it, the longer it went on, the more your mature and well behaved personality clashed with the idea of you staying up all night, the more the feelings about your frequent naps changed.

To the set workers, the coordinators and overseers of the countless tasks on set, it became an issue. 

“Where’s Y/n? We need them for the next scene!” 

More often than not, several people would be running around set in search of you. And of course you apologized profusely when they found and woke you, but it didn’t matter when you never changed.

But to your coworkers, the talented actors and actresses on set of this huge movie production, it was concerning. Because you were their friend, undoubtedly. 

When you would be pulled out a distant break room, rubbing your dark and drowsy eyes, mumblings would start among them. 

“Are they okay?” 

“They just seem so sensible, I don’t understand why they would stay up like that.” 

And then there was you. Young and unfortunate you. Just trying to do your best, trying to please everyone. It was impossible for anyone to know how much you were juggling with. 

You felt like a bird with a broken wing, still flying but bound to fall to its death. You knew it was too much. You knew it was only a matter of time before you broke. 

Most teens felt stressed with just schoolwork, and then there was you. Battling long set days and huge mounts of schoolwork. And then the family.

Your parents that never seemed to be around. They were both working all the time and often left you and your siblings to yourselves. The problems with that was that you were the eldest, and your siblings were too young to take care of themselves. You were the one left to bring home groceries, to make dinner, to bring them to bed, and to help them with any of their schoolwork or difficulties. 

And it was too much. Simply put it was too much for you. You had managed back when you were just another teen at school, but now you were in a movie, you had a JOB.

Usually you’d go to set and work your ass off, get home and help the kids all day, and then do your schoolwork in the night. You almost never got more than an hour or two of sleep, which was why you settled for small naps during your filming sessions. 

You were so stressed, and you wanted to be angry, because in truth you had every right to. But you were too tired and too busy to be angry. Too focused on your siblings and doing good as an actor. But you would never want to involve your coworkers. You thought it would be embarrassing and unprofessional to involve them. So you carried the weight all alone.

“Wake up! Wake up!” 

Someone was shaking you awake. You blinked your eyes open. A redhead set assistant was yelling in your face, grasping your shoulders. 

She stopped when she saw your eyes turning to slits, before widening to look at her. 

“Am I on?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. The lady scoffed.

“Are you on? Yeah, you’re on,” she spat and swung around, heels clicking on the floor, as she exited the break room briskly.

You were ashamed. Of course you were. You were so unprofessional and problematic. But you knew you had no other time to sleep, so this was your only option. The thought made you want to cry. 

Instead, you stood up and walked to where the scene would be filmed, through several hallways and technical rooms, before you arrived to the large set. 

Benedict, Robert, Tom (Holland), Chris (Pratt), Pom, and Dave were all gathered and ready to film. Your face was on fire, so you avoided their gazes, and just got into position to film the next scene. 

Benedict and Robert exchanged glances as you yawned, but before they could talk to you (as it seemed everyone was getting fed up with your constant sleepiness) the director yelled “action”, and the acting resumed. 

You all did the scene and you, surprisingly, did okay for having woken up about five minutes earlier. You continued doing several scenes for the movie all together, going through about three full scenes.

When the director was satisfied, everyone started scattering. You, rubbing your tired eyes, was already beelining for the break room, hoping to see an empty couch for you to crash.

However, before you could sneak off to catch some z’s, you felt a firm hand on your shoulder. You blinked, turning around and gazing at the person who had grabbed your shoulder. It was Benedict, Robert, Tom and Chris not fat behind him. He had a stern look on his face. 

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” your tone was casual, or perhaps too exhausted to express any real emotion, but inside you felt your stomach churn with anxiety. 

“Why are you always sleeping?” Robert chimed in. 

“Yeah, because if you’re up watching Youtube or whatever, you probably shouldn’t!” Tom said.

“Not that we’re assuming that that’s what you’re doing! It’s just- You know..,” Chris explained, voice full of panic.

You smiled softly. You recognized that they were coming from a place of worry. Then, your heart sunk slightly. You could cry. Again. Over the thought of your lack of time and your endless responsibilities. 

“It’s nothing serious, it’s just..” you trailed off, trying to figure out how you could make it sound less sad. Things always sounded worse when spoken out loud, you found. “I have two siblings, and my parents are never around, so I’m kind of the person taking care of them.” 

Your coworkers in front of you fell silent. You could see it on their faces. They didn’t like it. 

“You?” Robert said finally, and you just nodded. 

“So, you’re doing a movie, doing school, and taking care of your siblings at the same time?” Benedict repeated slowly, and once again you just nodded. There was nothing more to say. 

“Why aren’t your parents there?” Chris asked in his serious-unserious voice. 

“They’re working a lot,” you mumbled, disliking the collective attention on you. The thought of the couch made you yearn for some rest. You could tell that there were many things they wanted to do in that moment. They wanted to fix it all. 

“Can’t you tell them you don’t have time?” 

“I’ve tried that already. They say they don’t have a choice,” to this, both Robert and Benedict scoffed and shook their heads. You just watched with heavy eyes. 

“Alright. Here’s what’s going to happen,” Benedict said quietly, eyes boring into yours, “I’m going to call a nanny to look after your siblings for a couple of days, don’t worry I’ll pay. You’re going to back to the hotel and sleep for at least 10 hours. When you’ve done that, and only when you’ve done that, will we talk about how we’ll move forward with your parents.” 

You were quiet. You couldn’t stand up to your parents like Benedict wanted you to. You just couldn’t. They were busy and that was understandable. 

Although, you had to admit, the thought of sleeping for 10 hours was enticing. Heck, worst case scenario, you could settle for 5! Your tiredness was like heavy cuffs and chains on your body, and Benedict stood with the shining, golden key right in front of you. 

“Benedict, I- I can’t do that to my parents-”

“No, your parents can’t do this to you! This is absolutely outrageous!” He was frustrated you could tell. Robert seemed upset too, while Tom and Chris stepped back and let the adults handle it. Though, they seemed sad for you. 

You went quiet. 

“I just-” 

“I don’t want to hear another word about how they’re somehow excused for their behavior. This is negligence, Y/n! This is too much for you and you know it! You’re exhausted and it’s so painful to see, so please. Just take me up on this.”

You sighed.

“Alright, then.” you said, body finally giving in to the attractive offer. Benedict’s face carried the ghost of a satisfied smile, before going back to the stone cold determination. 

You drove to the hotel in Robert’s car and they booked you an extra room, knowing that your siblings occupied the other one. As soon as you could fall back on the bed, you were gone, body screaming for rest. 

You woke up 14 hours later, feeling happier, brighter and well-rested. That feeling had been forgotten by you, but it was alright, you decided. Every inch of you blossomed with energy now. 

As promised, Benedict had ordered a nanny for your siblings (the nanny was a lovely human being, and simply amazing with kids). Benedict, Robert, Chris and Tom has split the bill. 

You called him when you woke up, and he dragged you to a restaurant, where the two of you had a long, long talk about why what your parents were doing was serious and unacceptable. He could tell he needed to explain it to you, because you, like many children, were ready to defend your parents’ at all costs. 

Needless to say, after Benedict’s advice you didn’t have to go through that kind of thing again. You settled it with your parents (as well as your siblings), and after that you were so grateful that Benedict helped you out of that responsibility, because it wasn’t yours to have. 

Benedict was just happy to help, the memory of seeing you sleep everywhere, now less endearing and simply painful. He didn’t like thinking about it, and so he tried not to, but rather focused on your laughter and bright smile. In truth, that’s the only thing that really mattered. 

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @eviemarvel @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun

#benedict cumberbatch x reader #benedict cumberbatch #robert downey jr. #robert downey jr. x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #mcu cast x reader #marvel x reader #marvel cast x reader #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers cast x reader #avengers x teen!reader #avengers cast x teen!reader #dr strange #dr strange x reader #stephen strange x reader

[benevolentbirdgal]

“Thirteen” Tips on Writing Jewish Characters / Some  Jewish Identity Stuff Explained

So you want to write a Jewish character, but don’t want to write a caricature? Or are worried they won’t register as Jewish to readers, or something will be off or wrong? Well I, friendly (virtual) neighborhood Jewish professional, am here to help! 

Note: The Jewish community is made up of roughly 14 million people worldwide with all sorts of backgrounds, practices, life circumstances, and beliefs. I’m just one American Jew, but I’ve had exposure to Jewishness in many forms after living in 3.5 states (at several different population densities/layouts), attending Jewish day school and youth groups, doing Jewish college stuff, and landing a job at a Jewish non-profit. I’m speaking specifically in an American or Americanish context, though some of this will apply elsewhere as well. 

Let’s start with the word “Jew.” It’s not inherently a slur, but can absolutely be used as one. I am a Jew. You can call me a Jew, just not a Jew. Like most minority groups, there are slurs against us, but Jew is the proper demonym. It can be used disrespectfully as a noun, but isn’t inherently disrespectful. Think “Chava is a Jew” versus “You’re being such a Jew.” 1a. Any use of Jew as a verb by gentiles (non-Jews) is not okay. Your Jewish characters should be horrified by someone telling them they “Jewed down the price.” 1b. Any use of Jewess by gentiles is not okay and your Jewish character should not be cool with it.  1c. Many Jews would actively prefer to be called such because that’s what we are and “Jewish person” is stepping away from our Jewishness. But I get that not everybody is going to be comfortable calling us Jews. That’s okay, and “Jewish person/people” or “X is Jewish” is TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE.  1d. With that said, Jewish people refers to ourselves as Jews. If Sarah is Jewish but is squicked about referring to herself as a Jew, your Jewish readers will immediately know she’s written by a gentile.  1e. Actual slurs against Jews is a post for another time (did you know K*ke literally means circle?). 

Your Jewish-American character likely does not speak Hebrew, Yiddish, Ladino, or any other Judeo-Language (languages that are a mix of Hebrew and at least one other language, typically written in the Hebrew abjad). Three notes on this, however: 2a. If your character is an immigrant or the child of an immigrant, they might speak the Judeo-language of the old country. The most common will be Israeli-Americans speaking Hebrew, but families still speaking Yiddish, Ladino, Judeo-Arabic, and other families do still exist. The children of Jewish immigrants might also speak another language that isn’t a Jewish one, like Russian or Spanish.  2b. If they are in a VERY religious Ashkenazi community, they might speak Yiddish at home and in the community.  2c. Odds are decent, however, that your American Jew can read but not understand Hebrew. If your character went to Jewish Day School or Yeshiva, they definitely read Hebrew, and will have some understanding of it (but likely not fluency). 

Despite what I just said above, your Jewish-American character likely drops a lot of Yiddish words and phrases into their day-to-day speech. Which words/phrases in probably a list for another time, but the most common will be foods, family names (i.e. “Zayde” instead of Grandpa), and sassy expressions. They may incorporate some Hebrew to a lesser extent. 

There’s not just one version of kosher. There’s kosher, kosher-style, Halav Yisrael, glatt kosher, etc. Depending on your character’s level of kosher, they’ve need a hecksher (kosher mark) on any given item or only eat at kosher restaurants, although not all Jews keep kosher and many keep “kosher-style” (i.e. only eat theoretically kosher things).

Your Jewish character should be a whole character, both in general and in relation to their Jewishness. This means, among other things, that they aren’t obsessed with Israel and I/P discourse one way or the other and that while writing you remember that not all Israelis are Jews and not all Jews are Israelis. Your Jewish character is not constantly agonizing over the I/P situation, has a life outside of their Jewishness, and shouldn’t be a cardboard stand-in for your desire to discuss the middle east. 

The Jewish experience varies dramatically with geography. Jews living in Omaha, Richmond, Philly, Kansas City, Boca Raton, and New York City are all American Jews. They will have drastically different Jewish experiences. I strongly recommend doing research on the Jews in the specific place your story takes places, but generally:  6a. The closer you are to the northeast coast and NYC (except south Florida) the better and more varied your Jewish resources.  6b. NYC has the highest Jewish population of any city on the planet. Big cities like Boston, Chicago, and L.A., as well as just outside of NYC in NJ and NYS, and suburban/exburb south Florida will have lots of Jewish resources: day schools (Jewish + secular education mix), maybe Yeshivas (Jewish focus), multiple synagogues, a Jewish Community Center, Jewish dating services, social stuff, Jewish charities, and youth activities. Your character will have other Jewish friends and their gentile friends will likely know other Jews. Antisemitism is still a problem and usually takes the form of excluding Jews from activism, thinly-veiled stereotyping or excusing antisemitism from people from other oppressed groups, but it’s usually not as overt as elsewhere. Almost always safe to disclose Jewishness.  6c. Small and mid-size cities Denver, Virginia Beach, Charleston, and Harrisburg will have a JCC or Jewish federation, multiple synagogues, and maybe a Jewish day school. Your character is not the only Jew their gentile peers have met, but the bagels are meh. They will have other Jews to bond and commiserate with. Antisemitism here is mostly like that in big cities with occasional burst of overt incidents and attacks. It is generally physically safe for them to disclose Jewishness.  6d. Big towns and small cities in the south or mid-west will have maybe one synagogue - probably reform or Chabad. Your character will have to seek out Jewish spaces, but they will be easy to find. They will not be everybody’s First Jew, but it will be unusual. Antisemitism here is mostly overt - most of the antisemites your character deals with will be very obvious and many will be violent. Jews in such situations will not hide their Jewishness per se, but will be more selective in choosing to disclose it.  6e. Rural areas and small-small towns will not have a synagogue. Your character and their family may be the only Jews or there might be a small group that meets on occasion or carpools to the nearest synagogue. They will have to actively seek out the others Jews and they will be difficult to find. Disclosing their Jewishness is a serious consideration and not always safe. Odds are they are many people’s First Jew, which gets really weird real fast. Beyond the harmless ignorant-but-trying-to-learn-from-their-first-Jew types your character will interact with, there’s also violent and overt antisemitism here.  6f. If your character is in college, they will likely have a Chabad and/or a Hillel on campus if they are at a large school or a school with a significant Jewish population. 

Related: when Jews meet each other for the first time, a game of “Jewish geography” ensues as they try and trace people they know in the other person’s state/city/community. 

Jews come in all shapes, colors, sizes, genders, sexualities, politics, and religious beliefs. There are all sorts of Jewish people with tons of different intersecting identities. Don’t box yourself in to writing one kind of Jew. Just research a ton on the particular subsection of the Jewish community your character is a part of - a Mizrachi-Jewish Persian-American bisexual woman is going to have a different experience than a straight Ethiopian-American Jewish man who is going to have different experience from a queer Ashkenazi-Jewish-American girl with non-Jewish family.  8a. Jews with Ashkenazi (eastern/northern European) ancestry and customs are the biggest group in the U.S., but by no means the only group or representative of every Jew. Sephardi (Spanish/southern European/north Africa), and Mizrachi (north Africa and the middle east) are the next biggest groups. It would not be unusual for your character to have Polish-Jewish, Iraqi-Jewish, Moroccan-Jewish, or Russian Jewish ancestry or a mix.  8b. Each of these groups have their own customs, Judeo-languages, local holidays, and local historic tragedies. Generally, historic Sephardi communities were linked between themselves, historic Ashkenazi communities were linked between themselves, and historic Mizarchi communities were linked between themselves. The three had some, but limited contact. Additionally, all three major groups have subdivisions within them.  8c. There are also smaller groups that don’t fall within the three traditional categories, like the Ethiopian Jews, the Cochin Jews (India), Chinese Jews, Gruzim (Georgian), and more. Most of these smaller groups were not in contact with the wider Jewish world.  8d. All Jewish groups start from the same base texts (the written Torah), and the majority include the oral Torah as well. Local interpretations and traditions develop, these are referred to as minhag(im) (customs). For example, the biblical commandment is to not boil a baby goat in its mother’s milk. Some communities extend this to mean no chicken and milk, others reason that chickens don’t produce milk so the mixture is acceptable. Both are equally valid interpretations rooted in tradition, but they are different.  8e. Marrying between Jewish subgroups in the U.S. is super common and outside of extreme or really intense groups is not frowned upon. Traditionally, the father’s minhagim are followed, i.e. a Syrian-Jewish father and a Spanish-Jewish mother would follow the Syrian-Jewish minhagim with their children. Many modern couples choose the mother’s traditions or mix them up, but that’s the traditional route. 

Unless they are VERY religious, your character’s family is unlikely to be particularly wound up about them being LGBTQ the way a comparably Christian family might, at least not because they’re Jewish. Samuel’s Jewish mother is likely unconcerned he likes boys and is much more empathetic than he must marry a Jewish boy and raise any kids Jewish. 

There are so many Jewish holidays, and they are not all celebrated the same or with the same intensity. Probably enough material for its own post, but the ones most likely celebrated by your character: 10a. Shabbat and/or Havdalah. Shabbat starts Friday nights with candles, wine/grape juice and challah bread, Havdalah ends Shabbat with a braided candle, wine, and aromatic spices. Shabbat dinner is usually a meat meal and it is common to invite guests or eat with friends and family (in normal times).  10b. The “High Holidays” - Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. Jewish students often skip school for these. Yom Kippur is a 25 hour fast with services all day, Rosh HaShanah has services in the evening and morning.  10c. Passover - arguably the most important holiday. Celebrated with two sometimes agonizingly long Seders (ritual meals), family gatherings, and abstaining from leavened bread for 7/8 days.  10d. Hanukkah - Not actually that spiritually important, but culturally important for American Jews. Typically celebrated with candle lighting, presents, visits to family members, and greasy food. 

There’s a lot of wine involved in Jewish ritual, so it’s unlikely your character’s Jewish family are teetotalers. 

Jewish families tend to be very intense, loud, opinioned, caring, and involved, compared to many other assimilated American families. Shabbat dinner is not quiet. Dissent is a Jewish value - differing opinions are allowed (and expected in many circles), as is the ability to argue/defend competently. 

Jewishness can mean ethnic identity, cultural identity, and/or religion. There are several major denominations religiously, although that needs to be its own post in detail. The noteworthy movements at this point are Orthodox (further subdivided into Ultraorthodox and Modern Orthodox), Conservative (middle of the road, no relation to conservative politics), Reform, and Reconstructionist (both very “choose your own/your community’s adventure).

Probably will write more parts in the future, but this is heinously long already! Hope this is helpful!

#jewish #jewish writing #jewishwriting #jewblr #writeblr #writing advice #jewish identity #jews #jewishidentity #super long post sorry not sorry #writing jewish characters #writing jews #jewish writing help #jumblr

[insufferablelust]

Naughty list. (ThrilledAu!Mgg x Reader)

Warnings : Slight smut, Spanking, D/s themed ofc, The use of ‘sir’ & ‘daddy’, mention of edging, mention of overstimulation for future reference, sadist!mgg, condescending!dom, Marking, Its.. um Filthy as many of you already know. Please read at your own discretion.

Hello this is the christmas one shot i’ve promised, its 3 am rn and im so sorry i just done finishing this because things had been so chaotic. But i hope y’all enjoy and please wait up patiently for my next fics which will come in the next several days as promised.

PLEASE NOTE : This blurb sets inside my Thrilled Au, after the Bratty Rendezvous chapter which i have yet to upload, though i will upload it very soon. So basically this fic is the filler chapter and a teaser for the two upcoming chapters of thrilled! so i hope that makes sense and i hope y’all enjoy it. Happy holidays and Merry christmas! Take care, x D

MASTERLIST HERE.

He felt her before he even opens his eyes, a small smile threaten to quirk at the side of her lips in response to the feeling of small kisses all along his face down to his neck— the oh so warm familiar kisses by the love of his life.

“Matthew wake up.” Y/N whispered, giggling to herself as she felt him grunt below her at the feeling of her sinful lips nips and bites onto his skin, “It’s christmas morning, come on daddy.” She whispered once more, but this time doing it with grinding down where her bum was sat prettily atop of his crotch, just enough to make him wrap his hand around her neck.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?” His grip tighten a bit just then, as her eyes closed and a smile etched beautifully onto her lips. Matthew scoffed at her reaction before sitting up on the bed, bringing her up with him so he could lean against the headboard.

“J-just waking you..” Was all that she could manage, with shallow breaths and innocently batting her lashes up at him. “Oh, princess..” He murmured as he finally took in the sight of her.

She’s perched up beautifully on her lap, with her thigh high christmas themed socks, his sweater and a collar— a special one he had gifted her a few days prior, with the color red and his named engraved on the inside lining where nobody could see but she certainly could feel. On the outside, it might look like a normal choker necklace but they both know very well that that’s not the case. Its a symbol of him, latched onto her every second of the day— its their dynamic, its how they work.

“You look like a dream, little one..” He gasped, as she whines on his lap, a perfect little noise reserved only for him, making his hard on pressed oh so good against her bottom. “Dressed up for y-you!” Y/N exclaimed happily and slightly out of breath by the way Matthew’s grip just tightens and tightens— just like he was trying to squeeze the cuteness out of her.

God, you’re his, and his his his only.

“I know baby, so so pretty for me, being so so good.” He gave her cheek a pretty light slap, just to make her gasp and leave her sweet little mouth open slightly— all messy and beautiful. “Thank you daddy, just for you.” She smiled then, awaiting for his instruction just like how he likes it— or more importantly, just like how she craves it.

Matthew cocks his head to the side a little as he contemplates on what he’s going to do with her, it’s always like this with them— just wanting to do so many things, explore everything, explore each other’s limits, especially hers. Always hers, he thinks, whatever makes her happy.

So with a simple instruction he lessen the grip on her neck before pressing a small kiss on her forehead, “Go to our room now, and be on your position, daddy has to make some calls for our party this evening but you better be on your position by the time i get there or else.” He taps her cheeks twice, eyes pierced onto hers— as she nods a little, “yes daddy.”

“Go on.” She smiled before pressing a gentle peck to his lips, getting up and padded her tiny feet towards the door, “Oh and princess?”

“Yes daddy?”

“anything off but the socks and your collar.”

—

He’s doing this on purpose, your mean mean daddy is doing this on purpose— making you wait on your knees by the bench inside your dungeon, just waiting and waiting until you feel your knees beginning to fall asleep on you. But you tried your best to be presentable, just how daddy likes it.

Your body jumps a little when the sound of his footsteps rang through the room, sound of the door closing has your feet tingling and your cunt wet, oh he could definitely see the glisten gleam from it for sure.

“I thought you’d be well acquainted with my rules by now, pup.” He let out a disapproving sigh, which made your cheeks warmer and you instantly straighten your back, part your thigh a little and gulps— trying to remember what you did wrong this time.

“I—“

“Ah ah, you know better than to speak without my permission in this room do you?” He scoffed, walking around the room just to tantalize you, sending shiver up your spine. “you were good this morning, so good that daddy had half the mind to make you cum but now i’m not so sure.” He adds, which earn a gasp from you, Oh how you wanted to cum, you want to cum so so bad, the last time you did was a week ago when you were still in Paris— but right after your little bratty rendezvous there was no way in hell, he’d let you cum, oh no no, kitten doesn’t deserve to cum until master says so.

You bit your lip in agony, trying to block the tears that were about to slip from your pretty eyes down your heated cheeks, just trying to do anything he asks— anything. You let out a gasp as he tilt your chin up, which he cooed at and sigh softly, whilst his thumb brush side to side on top of your lips.

“Look at your tears, baby. Do you think it’ll work? hm? you think because daddy’s little elf put on a show this morning, that daddy is going to let this slide?” He pouts condescendingly, watching as the tears finally dripped down your cheeks, oh he wanted to photograph this so bad, his little fairy.

“Go on, answer daddy.” He pats your cheek with his thumb as you tried to find the courage to speak, “I-I’m sorry d-daddy.. i.. please..” Matthew sighed softly, seeing the genuine regret behind your eyes has him reprimanding your punishment, daddy was a tamer, but he was and will always be fair— forgetfulness is a human mistake, besides it’s christmas, and he figured he needed to give you something from all the torture you’ve endured since Paris.

“Up, princess. Let daddy braid your hair.” He tugged her collar a little which earned a gasp from her, though it was a combination between the sensation on her neck and realization on what she did wrong, “Daddy i—“

“Shh, up.” He cuts you off before you could mutter an apology, or several apologies. You should’ve known better, if he told you to be on position, what he always meant is for you to be on your knees by the bench, with your hair untied specifically because he likes to braid you before play time, and today you’ve put your hair up, completely forgetting a clear important rule. Matthew helped you get on your shaky feet, as you trembled a little, whispering a small, “thank you daddy.” Before facing the bench, back toward him so he could process on your hair.

“Tell daddy why he’s punishing you tonight.” He hummed behind her, fingers expertly tangle and untangle through her hair, looping each side to the center as he formed a perfect braid from the top of her hair and making his way down. “Because i forgot daddy’s rule.” You muttered shakily, voice laced with regrets at yourself for disappointing daddy.

“Which rule is it, pup?” His voice seemed so close now, she could practically feel his warm breath against her skin that she zoned out for a moment before a tug on her hair brought her back, “I— i didn’t untie my hair, sir.”

“Why is it important?”

“Because daddy needs to braid my hair, and.. and it teaches me to.. remembers daddy’s rules.” You finished with a sigh, before feeling a soft kiss placed on top of your shoulder blades, “10 with my hands. Go and bend over the bench, bunny.”

—

Y/N braced herself as she felt the stinging, heated sensation smacked across her bottom, making her grip tighten onto the railing bench and her body shakes a little. “F-Five, thank y-you daddy.”

“Color?” Matthew pressed his palm against her stinging skin as he try to soothe the aching pain a bit, it’s true that they both love this— loves the thrill, the pain, and the overall pleasure that comes from this. However, Matthew would never enjoy hurting his bunny without any context, or out of proportion, it might look like he has all the control but they both knows well that she has all the control, if she wants to stop, she knows what she needed to say.

“G-Green sir please.” Oh how he loves the way her voice croaked underneath him, the way she arched her back toward him— as if asking for more, ready for more just as she deserve, as she behaved. So he delivered then, 3 slaps in a row as she cries out between each milliseconds, and sobs out the thank you’s and pleas.

“just two more now, y’think you can take it, petal?” Matthews hand crept up to where your collar snuggly wrapped around your neck, thumbing the soft leather as he makes sure you’re still okay which you confirmed by a ‘yes daddy, please continue’

The last two slaps were unexpected, catching her off guard as it landed way way below where her cunt drips dewy sweet honey, and where her by now— swollen little pearl sits, making her jumps and scream out in a blissed pleasure. “Fuck! oh! nine ten! daddy thank you!”

“Shh shh, come here, good girl.” Matthew gently helped her stand before picking her up bridal style and sit down onto the bed which was installed on their room, his lips were pressed tightly onto her forehead as he soothes her aching skin and mumble calming words. “It’s okay, ‘s all over, such a good girl, little one.”

“Daddy...”

“Yes angel?”

“Do i deserve to cum now?”

“Oh petal, you will be begging to stop cumming later, just you wait.”

—

EXCUSE MY GRAMMARS AND TYPOS, my laptop is not accessible right now so i have to use my phone to write and upload so please bear with me. Thank you, i love you and take care.

Don’t forget to support!❤️

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#spencer reid smut #mgg smut #insufferableblurb #dom!mgg #matthew gray gubler smut #thrilled

[izusun]

ALRIGHT I'M THE ANON WHO SENT THE STRIPPER AU SO IM DUMPING ANOTHER AU THAT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ONTO YOU (don't ask where it came from lmao)

Basically, quirkless Izuku gets a vibe check early in life when he realizes that his mom is really struggling to survive after his father walked out (no I'm not projecting onto him shut up-). Through middle school he slowly comes to the realization that capitalism sucks actually, especially when you are or are related to someone quirkless.

The sludge villain incident happens relatively as normal, only this time after rescuing Katsuki he fucking snaps at the pro heroes on the scene, then goes home without running into All Might. He does a bunch of research on pro hero scandals, losing that hero fanboy mindset as he goes along, but also does research into vigilantism and pre quirk media, discovering an ancient European pre quirk tale about a figure who robbed the rich and gave it back to the poor and needy.

Now he's on the streets as the vigilante "Robin Hood" who robs corrupt heroes and politicians and then uses that money to preventatively stop crime (donating to homeless shelters, giving it to various community centers for addict recovery programs, etc; he'd also stop any crime he happened to come by on the way to and from heists). He may or may not collect various other teenagers in his band of Merry Men all while Izuku dodges around telling Katsuki what he actually does all day (yes Kaachan's the Maid Marian stand in fight me).

TLDR; Quirkless Izuku becomes the vigilante "Robin Hood" thanks for coming to my TED talk-

- Goblin anon (I'm claiming it now, it's mine)

HI GOBLIN ANON!!! your au dumps in my ask box are always welcomed and loved!! sorry for the late reply hnsnsns, my lectures just ended

quirkless + vigilante midoriya who gave up on the hero system IS my fave trope, i’m not even joking. and this au??? this is just godtier!!

i have a thing for midoriya snapping at the heroes during the sludge villain incident. to set up the mood, i’d like to just unpack that scene for a bit.

ok sure there are many things that probably happened behind the scenes during that incident, such as them calling for more equipped reinforcements to take down the villain, but i think that they should have also done more for bakugou. like at least buy time to ensure he wouldn’t suffocate or, idk, strike a deal with the the sludge villain because their priority shouldn’t have been apprehending him but should have been saving bakugou. so imagine midoriya thinking the same thing i did. the torch he carried for heroes have dwindled over time and this was the breaking point.

imagine him growing up, accepting that sometimes the society just turns its back on you because you’re quirkless. imagine him thinking that there are certain thresholds only the quirked individuals would ever get to cross. imagine him thinking that being a hero really is only for bakugou and not for him. then-

then midoriya sees this powerful and strong individual who he kept looking up to at the hands of the same villain who also almost killed him, choking and panicking because the heroes are not doing anything. he thought that heroes only do nothing when you’re quirkless, but apparently they also do nothing to people like bakugou. bakugou who has a perfect quirk and a smart mind and who’s so so young. bakugou who the heroes aren’t even helping.

and midoriya snaps. he snaps because heroes do nothing to everyone. he thought he was the anomaly because of his pinky toe and everything, but no. the hero system is just fucked up. so as he ran towards bakugou and hurled his bag on the eyes of the villain, he thinks the hero system failed us but i will not. and he thinks i will not be a hero because i do not want to be like them. and he thinks i am here.

and so he saves bakugou and the heroes berate him for-? for what? for doing their jobs? he laughs maniacally and goes off. he spills his anger, spills the way it took a puny, quirkless middle school boy to save the day, and people are watching. people are watching the way he is screaming and opening his heart and pouring and pouring everything he never would have said, and the heroes are silent. they are silent as they listened. all of the them were.

people filmed this exchange, posted the videos they took online and then even more people listened to him. and midoriya sees this huge response and support; he sees the way people agreed with him so it helped him push his plans forward.

and so he does many many research and opens up several cases against slimy heroes and billionaires, and boom, he’s japan’s robin hood.

OK BUT we can’t have vigilante midoriya without dadzawa. LOVE ME SOME DADZAWA. and maybe parental tsukauchi because i love these two just trying to help this little vigilante who is too angry at the world who failed him, but never fighting the world back. they care for their little vigilante who shouldn’t be awake at the crack of dawn, busting out villain groups upon villain groups on his own. they care for their little vigilante who is becoming too popular.

so popular that even villains are looking for him. and maybe there would be an altercation between the LoV and midoriya, and who else would save him if not for dadzawa (and tsukauchi)?

also i’d like to imagine that bakugou too was moved by midoriya’s explosion of a speech. he’s taken aback and goes “huh, he’s right.” so he tries bridging their relationship back and midoriya always loved his friend so he accepts AS LONG AS bakugou does not cross him. because even if the hero system failed midoriya, as long as bakugou, who’s willing to change, still wants to become a hero, then there is hope in changing the hero system from the inside. to reshape it to how it should be.

and so bakugou enters UA and is more open (he’s in therapy) to everyone compared to canon (although not as much, still), and almost has a heart attack when aizawa pulled him aside one day, in the middle of the term, and asked if he knew who robin hood is. of course bakugou’s a master liar so he says no but aizawa is squinting his eyes at him.

also imagine: midoriya recruiting shinsou (they’re apparently from the same help group and they met up one night when midoriya saved shinsou from middle school bullies who cornered him and berated him even if he’s already in UA) and bakugou accidentally recruiting hatsume because she saw that someone changed some of his hero gear and she wanted to meet the smart genius who did it (it’s midoriya).

so midoriya’s circle grew from bakugou to now with the addition of aizawa, tsukauchi, hatsume, and shinsou.

(it probably would expand more because midoriya would stumble on this juicy information about the number 02 hero, endeavour but that’s for next time!)

AHHH ok i’m gonna cut it here because it’s getting too long BUT I LOVE LOVE THIS dhaksjwk

THANK YOU SO MUCH, GOBLIN!!!

#long post #goblin anon #ask #I KEEP RAMBLING #i forgot to address the capitalism part but YEA CAPITALISM SUX #the tag long post doesnt actually disclose how long of a post this shit is fr #I LOVE YOU GOBLIN ANON /p #THIS AU IS SO SO GOOD #angry (justifyingly so) midoriya is SO op #also i love me some dadzawa #and bakugou in therapy #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #aizawa shouta #naomasa tsukauchi #shinsou hitoshi #hatsume mei #bakudeku #???? #bnha