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#it just isn’t worth being attacked over
genius--built · 7 months
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yknow it is the internet and all, so I can’t really say I could’ve expected better. but the last drawing I posted was not intended to be ship art. I would’ve been up front about it if that had been my intent. I’ve gone and tagged it at the request of a few people, but this is not a blog where I will be posting stuff that should result in genuinely threatening asks, so I’d appreciate some civility. I’ve been here less than 2 weeks, you don’t even know me.
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I genuinely can’t believe that I’ve gotten to a point in my life where in my last therapy session my therapist said: “yeah well grades aren’t the main stressor anymore”
I’ve healed so much. Therapy really does do wonders huh
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signedkoko · 3 months
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Could I get a Mammon, Vox and Husk with a S/O who gets harassed on the street and their reaction? You can have full creative control over what type of harassment!
I love your fics- if this isn’t getting the creative juices flowing just let me know and I’ll request something different <3
🦷 anon
Husk | Mammon | Vox [Romantic]
In which some loathsome idiot thinks they'll get away with harassing their beloved s/o.
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One of your favourite date nights is spent bar hopping
Pop a drink or two in each one, sometimes sharing one cocktail, his wing draped around you, your head leant on his shoulder, humming to the music surrounding you
Both of you had a preference for the less popular spots, the kinds of places you got the weirdest combinations, where he could be inspired and you could give him thoughts
The plus side of the smaller joints was that the music was never too loud, drinks were cheaper, and there was always a few spots free at the bar
Downside was that most places had their regulars, the kind of people who couldn't get in anywhere else
The kind of desperation that builds and spreads like mold in the corner of a dark room next to a leaky pipe
On a few occasions, someone would harmlessly ask to buy you a drink and would turn tail when Husk gave them his usually 'fuck off' look
But this time, the guy would just not get the hint
" What? Already claimed dibs on the bitch? "
Yeah- no, that attitude towards you is not going to fly
Not even three seconds and there's a bottle smashed on the drunk demons head, and three cards flying back into Husk's hand
That's when the bleeding starts
You slap a 20 down for your bill and jump straight up, already being dragged by Husk out the door
Insists if he stayed there you would have both gotten banned anyways, and he likes that spot
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You guys don't really go out so casually without a good reason, or just for old times sake
A sin and his spouse on a city street in greed was just asking for bad things to happen
But still, if you asked and he had nothing that day, Mammon would always rather get quality time with you and people watch
Thats most of your conversation, pointing out demons and joking about what you think they are like, what the do, how they speak
It's always a fun game, until some newcomer saw you laughing at him and marched right up, clearly on something and clearly ready to have a go at someone
The moment he reaches for your wrist, his thumb falls to the floor, a messy and jagged cut the only sign of attack besides one of Mammons spider legs now revealed
Before he can even realize the pain or what's happened, Mammon lets out a menacing laugh
" Every extra inch towards my broad is another finger. "
That demon was already screaming and running away, most the crowd on the street that was watching now hurrying in any direction opposite of you and Mammon
" I'm only worth one finger? "
" Nah. Just being generous for once. "
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Not really a street guy, but unfortunately some press conferences and events require mingling and interacting with others, which he never liked
Thankfully, with you he has an excuse to stay away from others, or show you off
He usually goes for the latter
He's all 'Have you met my wife?' 'My wife loves x and y!' 'Isn't my wife absolutely gorgeous?'
You are the first topic he speaks of after his company; you'd be the first if he didn't have to waste so much time being a salesman, but that is how the cookie crumbles
Sometimes when there's specific press releases, he has to send you off for a moment, where you usually go and mingle with some of the others in his industry you befriended
During one such interview, he couldn't help but spot out the corner of his eye, some lousy business woman drape her arm around your waist and grab at your hip
" Sorry yeah, this interview is over. "
Literally shoves his way over, sparks and electricity flying, to rip you out of her arms
" Baaabe, is this a friend? Whatever the case, we really gotta get going! "
Jealousy 3000
He's glad he stepped in after he overhears that lady had a habit of harassing other attendees
New clause in every interview; they have to include you or provide security over you while he is busy
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Author's Note - Tooth anon comes in for another PIPIN HOT request!! I actually feel so bad because every time I take a break form writing is on yoru request and that really makes it look bad I am so sorry 😩
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yuwuta · 2 months
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YUUTA OKKOTSU’S DECLASSIFIED JUJUTSU TECH SURVIVAL GUIDE (AN APPETITE HAUNTING THE HEART)
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❝i know this tastes too good to be healthy. the more it melts, the sweeter it gets, so take my heart out because i need all of you.
*this is yuuta okkotsu’s fool-reviewed plan for navigating all things curses, sorcery, and love. 
pairings. okkotsu/reader
content, warnings. canon-adjacent, reader has a cursed technique, friends to lovers, smut (uhh... no triggers i think? other than implied virginity loss on yuuta’s part), mentions of violence/curses, possessive/intrusive thoughts... he starts of kinda sweet and weird and then just gets... weirder and worse lol, so mostly yuuta being... yuuta &lt;2
notes. jujustu tech is a college not a highschool, yes i brought naruto in this, i believe in sasuke slander only from a place of pure love, real sasuke ridicule will not be accepted xoxo
word count. 12k i told you i could yap about him all day
playing. candy/baekhyun, untouched/the veronicas, cream soda/exo, lacy/olivia rodrigo, pure honey/beyoncé
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#1 — Do NOT touch Maki Zenin’s tools (but if you do, the cute girl who hangs around Inumaki might help to patch you up).
Yuuta hadn’t meant to piss off Maki. He was trying to be helpful, but Yuuta learned the hard way today: do not touch Maki’s cursed tools, at all, for any reason whatsoever. He intended to hand it back to her, but she was prompt in assuming that was part of an attack, snatching it from under his grasp and giving him a jab on the wrist with the dull end of the stick. If the beatdown he’d endured during training put Yuuta on his deathbed, then that hit was the final nail in the coffin.  
The crack! sound of his bones made everyone pause their sparring, and Gojo winced the loudest, “Ouch! That one had to hurt, kid!” It was also Gojo who gathered everyone to stand around and look down at him clutching his wrist in pain, before making the executive decision to appoint you as Yuuta’s caretaker.  
“This is definitely something you can handle!” he cheered, patting the top of your head, “Take our dearest Yuuta to the infirmary and patch him up, please and thank you! With the way Maki’s been kicking him into the ground, those cuts are sure to get infected sooner rather than later. The two of you can join us for dinner when you’re finished!”  
Yuuta tried to refute, on the grounds of “No—no! I—ouch—this really isn’t worth using any kind of cursed energy over!” Which was quickly met with a mischievous raised eyebrow from his teacher, “Oh? Are you insinuating that my precious student doesn’t have the skill to fix a simple fracture?” That prompted Yuuta to spill a flurry of apologies, none of which were coherent, and ended up with him trailing behind you sheepishly to the infirmary with a broken wrist, several bleeding wounds, and probably early heart failure.  
Now, Yuuta sits with his feet dangling off of the edge of the examination chair, shivering from the chilliness of the room, and all of his nerve endings rattling at the realization that this is the first time that he’s been alone in a room with you since you’ve met. He winces, first at the sting of disinfectant into his wound, and then internally—mostly out of embarrassment—because his outward reaction made you pause your actions to question if he’s okay.  
Okay is relative, he thinks. In the grand scheme of things, he’s okay. Concerning his current injuries, he’ll be okay eventually. Concerning this… whatever this is he feels for you… maybe not so okay.  
“Sorry,” he stutters, too loud for the atmosphere and proximity of your bodies to each other, and, so, he winces again, cheeks staining red to match his embarrassment, as if he or you needed any confirmation of it. He doesn’t mean to be a difficult patient, but he has an adversity surrounding hospitals and medical care, and that alcohol really does burn, and you’re really close to his face, and—and you giggle a little, but Yuuta hears a chorus, instead; warm, spring-like, with violins and a piano and cellos strumming in perfect harmony, and the buzz of bees and butterfly wings flapping the melody.  
“You apologize a lot,” you tell him, a kind smile on your lips. You step forward, just a bit, as you peel off the band-aid adhesive and gently press it over the bridge of Yuuta’s nose. It’s Hello Kitty themed. It makes him want to scream.  
“Yeah, uh—sorry about that!” Yuuta apologizes, once again too loudly. He scratches at the back of his neck with his left hand, and his eyes go wide after a few beats, “No, wait—I didn’t mean to apologize again. I just... I, uh... thank you. That’s what I wanted to say. For helping me, you have my sincerest thank you.” 
Yuuta dips his head to bow, and when he raises it again, you’re blinking at him owlishly, and he thinks he’s really done it now. You must think he’s a freak, if you didn’t already. He thinks you’re gonna tell him off for being pathetic and a weakling, but instead you laugh again—that precious sound that pauses Yuuta’s world for the better.  
“You’re awfully formal. There’s no need for that, or to thank me. We’re friends, afterall,” you reassure him, “Even if Gojo did force you to be my practice dummy.” 
It’s his turn to reassure you, his uninjured hand moving from his neck to shake frantically in front of him, “It’s completely okay,” he does his best to give you a smile as warm as the one you give him. It probably doesn’t work, but he tries anyway—he’s always been an awkward smiler, too wide-mouthed and toothy, “You can do whatever you want to me, I trust you.”  
Your face seems almost solemn at his declaration, and the panic instantly kicks in again. Yuuta scrambles when his words play back in his head, “I’m sorry, was that weird? I meant that I trust your judgment. You can, uh, fix me up however you best see fit—or just leave it! I’m sure it’ll heal on—”
“You’re awfully self-sacrificing, too,” you cut him off with a laugh, your usual warm nature clicking back. Yuuta shrugs, feeble; you smile wider, “I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I keep staring, and I’m sorry to have made you uncomfortable.” 
“Not at all! You don’t... make me uncomfortable, I mean. You could never,” Yuuta rushes, curling back into himself after his outburst, “You... it always feels really nice when you’re around. I can’t explain it, but everything is calmer.”
Your eyes flutter across his face, before you turn away from him, “I can tell it makes you nervous—I can hear the changes in your heartbeat,” you tell him, opening the cabinet to return the alcohol to its rightful place. You must also be able to hear his thoughts, chiming in just as Yuuta continues to wonder if his heartbeat is really that loud, “It’s part of my technique. I don’t mean to intrude on your heart.” 
Is it an intrusion if Yuuta left room for you? If he wanted you to be there? Was it crazy to think that he’d give you his heart to hold and trust you to take care of it, even though you’d only met a few months ago? Maybe it would be easier if he let you squeeze tight enough to put him out of his misery already.
Luckily, you keep talking before he can say something stupid like that out-loud again. 
“It’s just that... you remind me of somebody that I used to know. You’re kind like him, and you both share a well-intentioned recklessness, too. I see so much of him in you that it’s hard not to stare sometimes,” you admit, turning back to face him, and gingerly taking his wrist between your hands. When your hands start to glow, Yuuta can feel it—your reversed cursed technique is warm on the surface, but chilly underneath, like a heated blanket on top of perfectly cool sheets. 
“I don’t mean to say that you’re just a replacement,” you continue, slowly rotating your hands over his injury. It stings a little, then soothes, “I’m just still in awe of how nice it feels being around you. It feels strangely—” 
“Familiar,” Yuuta interjects, “I understand. You feel that way, too. I think... that’s what I meant before.” He understands your words perfectly because you remind him of someone precious to him, too; someone he used to and still loves alot. “You—it makes me happy, that’s why I seem so nervous.”
It seems as though you understand him, too. His heart sings, and you can probably hear it, but Yuuta doesn’t quite mind so much now. What he feels for you is consuming, maybe concerning, but knowing that you know what it’s like to love like him brings him an odd sense of comfort. Maybe he should be jealous that you’ve had someone to love that much before, but he’s not exactly in a position to talk. What matters is that you can hear him and feel him—his heart and his love and his sad and his happy, and it doesn’t push you away. 
It makes him want to burst. He owes you a thank you for putting something so precious in his life. He owes you an apology, for ever doubting that you couldn’t handle his symptoms. He should have realized that you can handle his love.
“You feel really warm, too,” he blushes, scratching at the back of his neck with his free hand, “And, uh, not just because you’re holding my hand.” 
The twinkle in your eyes turns into confusion, then surprise when you look down to see that the hand below his wrist had moved to rest underneath his palm instead. His wrist was well healed by now, and you’d been, effectively, massaging his skin and muscles with your technique for the latter duration of your conversation without realizing it. 
Yuuta couldn’t tell when it went from healing to hand holding, but he’s not complaining—and he doesn’t think he could have stopped it either. Another quality to your technique that he couldn’t understand was how your energy felt sticky, flowed like honey; how it managed to run into broken crevices and bruised dents with a mind of its own. Even if he’d wanted to pull his hand away—and he didn’t, he absolutely did not—he wouldn’t have gotten far from you. He never wanted to be. 
“You already have calluses on your palm,” you note, dispelling your healing energy, holding onto Yuuta’s hand only by want now, “You train hard. You’ll catch up to Maki and Toge, quickly, but not if you don’t take care of yourself.” 
Yuuta almost chokes when you rotate your wrist so that your fingers are aligned. Your hand is so much softer than his, warmer than his, and maybe he’s idealistic, but your fingers seem to slot perfectly between his when you curl them. 
“I’m not always going to be around to fix you up,” you warn him, “So don’t go around pissing Maki off too much, alright?” 
Yuuta can feel the heat from your body flow through him. From his palm, up his arm, down into his chest, and everywhere else. It doesn’t feel real. You’re holding his hand, you’re smiling at him, you’re right there and you’re so bright and beautiful, so Yuuta doesn’t know why his thoughts are so gray and dangerous; you wouldn’t hurt him, and he doesn’t want to hurt you, so why can’t he stop thinking about keeping you like this—of stitching your hands together forever to keep you by his side, or letting this heat consume and burn you both. 
Yuuta shakes his head to wiggle those thoughts away, but to you it seems like he’s saying no to staying off of Maki’s radar. When he realizes it, he nods too reverently to make up for it; surely looking like an idiot, and then to top it off, he squeaks, “I—yes, ma’am!” 
Another foolish outburst on his end, perhaps, but it makes you giggle, fills the room with springtime for a moment, so to Yuuta, it was worth it. “Good,” you nod, release his hand and beckon him off of the chair, “Come on, we should go eat before Panda takes all the good sides for himself.” 
Yuuta follows you back to the dorms with his stomach already full of love, love, love. He loves you, and you can hear, and see, and feel exactly what you do to him, and you don’t run. Yuuta thinks maybe you should, even though he doesn’t want you to. Surely you know what he did to Rika when he loved her. 
Rika seems to like you, actually, if the humming of her voice in his head as he takes his seat at the table next to you is any indication. He can vaguely make out some of her words as you pass him the dumplings—warm, kind, loyal. He agrees. Pretty, too. No disagreement there. 
In such a short amount of time, you’ve shifted Yuuta’s ethos for life. He wanted to die to be with the person he loved before, and never quite understood why Rika would stop him, why she would want him to suffer in this life alone; but maybe this is what Rika was always trying to tell him; that his love was not lost and buried with her, but flowing towards you, his heart, a beacon for you to locate. 
You’d mentioned that he reminded you of someone you knew before, that you couldn’t see anymore. Yuuta doesn’t know what happened to your person before he came along; he can only hope that you’ll allow him and his heart to be a vessel for your love someday, too. He won’t disappoint you. He won’t let you let go of him. 
It shouldn’t be hard. You already have his heart in your hands. 
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#2 — Gojo is more than a teacher. He is also the school event planner, once ranked Diamond in Overwatch, and is the only person blacklisted from any and all kitchens on campus. He also gives pretty good (sometimes questionable?) advice. His eyes are kind of scary.  
You’re there when he and Toge are nearly decimated by the Grade 1 curse in the abandoned market. He still doesn’t understand much about sorcery at this point, so seeing people like you and Toge in action is awe-inspiring to say the least. Yuuta knows that Toge is nothing short of amazing, but he can’t help but to be drawn into you, you, you—your energy, your fighting style, the seemingly never-ending applications of your technique. Cursed energy in and of itself is still a foreign concept to him, so perhaps it’s that seeing you use the reverse of it so effortlessly is even more novel to him. 
He can hear Rika strumming in the back of his mind, an indistinct itch and hum that sounds vaguely like laughter at his self-justification. He chooses to ignore her. 
After, while he’s still buzzing with the tingly warm sensation of your technique after you’d patched him up, Gojo finds him, and Yuuta, unable to keep up a façade, pours all his anxious, worried, inquisitive feelings about his mission on the table. 
“The way that (_____) can heal wounds... is that something I can learn?” Yuuta questions his teacher, eyes tired but genuine and earnest.  
And Gojo, all knowing and absolutely singing at the implications, smiles so wide he’s certain his newest student could see the crinkles in the corners of his eyes, even through the dark tint of his glasses. “Maybe.”  
He goes on, leaning back into the old loveseat, one leg crossed over his other knee, “You’ll probably be able to learn to heal yourself with reversed cursed technique, but using it to heal others is difficult and rare. Shoko and (_____) are the only people I know who can do it.”
“Is… did she get to learn it because she’s a Grade 1?” He remembers Maki explaining the ranking system for Jujutsu sorcerers. You and Toge were ranked the highest in the class, and amongst the other Kyoto students; it would make sense that you two have learned more applications of your techniques due to your higher placements.
Gojo chuckles, much to Yuuta’s confusion. “That’s not quite how it works—and if it were, then you’d already know because you’re a Special Grade. You don’t unlock new lessons as you move up, you move up because of how well you’ve learned to control and apply your own cursed technique.”
Right. That makes sense. Except Yuuta knows that his classification of Special Grade is a bit of a cheat because he can’t control or apply his cursed energy half as well as any of his classmates. He has Rika to thank for his immediate promotion, not himself or his own skills.
“In any case, if you do learn it, you’ll never be able to execute it like her, that’s for certain. Reversed cursed technique is complicated to learn and nearly impossible to teach. It’s one of those things you truly have to figure out for yourself when the timing is right—I only got it when I was on the brink of death. It’s 100% effective on the person doing it, but only 50% effective when applied to other people by the user,” Gojo says, “Except for (_____). She was born with reversed cursed energy, which is why she has an almost 100% output on herself and others, so she’s extra special. ”
Yuuta frowns. He never expected to do anything half as well as you, but knowing there’s only half a chance that he could, literally, only ever meet you half-way is frustrating. You can save him time and time and time again, as you already have, and all he can do is be a wound for you to stitch back together. 
It must be difficult for you. A similar thought had crossed his mind when he first met Shoko-san, feeling bad for her having to carry the burden of healing others, knowing that she could never receive the same treatment in return. It’s worse for you, though, to be an angel amongst the men on this Earth—it’s not fair that you can give so much to help, and nobody can do the same for you. Yuuta wants to give something to you, he wants to devote himself to you, so at the very least, you have that. If he can’t give you anything else, he can give you himself.
Gojo laughs at Yuuta’s silence, kicking his legs up on the coffee table. “That’s hard for you to hear, huh? Ha! You truly are a lover, not a fighter, Yuuta.”
Yuuta blinks at him. “I, uh... thank you?” He says, even though he’s not so certain that those two things are discernable.  
“Right now, the best thing for you to do is focus on controlling Rika and your cursed energy. That way, (_____) can also focus on fighting, and not healing, when you’re on missions together. The stronger you are, the less she’ll have to clean up after you,” Gojo advises.
He puts his feet back on the floor and uses the leverage to lean over, a bit too close for Yuuta’s comfort. “The only thing you can do for her is to learn to help yourself.”
Yuuta’s eyes go wide. He wants to—he wants to help you, wants to help himself, wants to help others, too. There’s a selfish twang for a moment, the thought of not needing you anymore tugging at his heart, but Rika reminds him that he’ll still want you. 
Then an even scarier thought crosses his mind. “What happens if I don’t learn to control this? What happens if I curse her instead?”
Yuuta trembles at the thought, breathing and heartbeat erratic, his sensei moving back a bit. Rika is there again, reassuring him that he never hurt her, that his love never hurts, that the only person he’s ever truly harmed is himself by isolation of his own feelings. Trust her, Rika demands, she can handle this.
You can. Can you? You have, so far. You don’t run, you don’t push, you give, and give, and give to him; Rika was kind and playful and took and took and took Yuuta’s loneliness and sickness in stride and he still cursed her, seemingly for all eternity. He wants to love and be loved, but not if it means hurting you—isn’t it bad enough that he’s already inept at healing your wounds? Why should he risk giving you more?
“Yuuta,” Gojo calls him out of his thoughts, “I’m disappointed.” 
That truly breaks Yuuta’s cyclical monologue. “I—disappointed?” 
Gojo ticks his tongue, shakes his head and points a finger in accusation, “You should know your fellow classmates better by now. (_____) is not that weak or scared,” he chastises, “You’re so worried about cursing her that you haven’t realized that she is the only person so far to have effectively used her curse on you.”
Yuuta pauses, eyes wet with the awful realization that Gojo was right. You have already cursed him; your technique has already gotten past the barrier of his curse. You’ve cursed him. He never stopped to think that it was possible, worried only about himself. How selfish—he shares Gojo’s disappointment in himself. 
He’s spent so much time loathing his jealous mind and decaying heart that he hasn’t opened his eyes to see you that you’ve found him. You can poison anything he does, and make the antidote with equal ease; how stupidly naive of Yuuta to think that he could be the one to diagnose or treat you better than you could him, or yourself. 
“I’m sorry, sensei,” Yuuta dips his head, and also spares you an internal apology, “I understand better, now.”
“Is that so?” Gojo muses, leaning back into the sofa. His eyes scan Yuuta’s when his head is raised again, that knowing grin creeping back up on his lips. “Well, if you still want to know more about reversed curse technique, or want help learning it, it’s not an entirely lost cause. I’m definitely not the person for this lesson, but, you know who is?” 
Yuuta feels a sense of whiplash from the change in Gojo’s demeanor. Confusion clouds his mind again, and he shrugs, “Um... Shoko-sensei?” 
Gojo makes a loud buzzer noise, complete with crossing his arms in front of his chest in a big ‘X.’ Yuuta frowns again. Is that where Toge learned to do that? 
“Wrong! I’m talking about (_____), obviously!” Gojo claps his hands together, before lowering his glasses to wiggle his eyebrows, “Tutoring is a textbook way to get some alone time, kiddo. You want to spend more time with her outside of class and missions, right?”
“I want to spend all my time with her,” Yuuta confesses, mindlessly. And foolishly, he soon realizes, when he sees that Gojo’s grin has tripled; and he’s quick to flash his hands to correct himself, “No—not like that—not in a creepy way! I just... I want to get to know her better, like you said.”
Yuuta’s awkward chuckles fill the space, and he can feel his insides burning from his cheeks all the way down to his hands. Would he ever be able to think coherently or tactfully when it came to you? 
“So, uh... I... it’s okay if I ask her about this stuff, too?” 
“Some sorcerers don’t like talking about their cursed techniques. But (_____) might not mind. You won’t know until you try.” 
Yuuta nods shallowly. Try. He can do that—if not for himself, then for you; he can try for you. All you need from him is to accept your course of treatment; to love you is to let you curse him, completely. 
“I’m a firm believer that all’s fair in love and war,” Gojo stands, stretching into Yuuta’s space to ruffle his hair. He leans down further, giving him a glimpse of his glowing eyes before sparing him a wink, “So, be a little greedy, and give it your best shot.”
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#3 — Social media is the most twisted curse out there. It makes you feel so close, yet is a stark reminder of just how far you are from the person on the other end of the screen. 
Yuuta has never considered himself good with technology. Even before Rika’s incident, he often felt ostracized by his peers because he didn’t have the same interest in or experience with games and cartoons. He had no reason to have a computer or a phone until enrolling at Jujutsu Tech, and there was an evident learning curve in navigating the devices. Toge often snickered watching Yuuta use his smartphone with the dexterity of a senior citizen. 
He only barely set up Instagram and TikTok accounts with Toge’s help, but he doesn’t really get the idea of followers—why would people who don’t know him want to follow him? Why would he follow them? He doesn’t know many memes or jokes and even after seeing them, he doesn’t think many are all that funny, but he laughs anyway. 
He doesn’t have much time to perfect his social media and meme skills, anyway. He’s dedicated to training and gaining mission experience—which pays off when Geto declares war on the school by the end of the year. Yuuta remembers how you returned his phone to him the next day, a few cracks and black, dark spots on the screen, giggling that you’d found it in the rubble, but that even your reverse cursed technique couldn’t fix its scars. 
He thinks he gets the hang of it in the end—the basics of communication and the appeal behind connection with others through it—even going so far as to trade selfies with Gojo sometimes, who always seemed happy to receive them, no matter how much post-exorcism curse gunk Yuuta was covered in. 
He also frequently exchanges texts with you. He much prefers to see you in person, but when you’re stuck for long hours in the ER, or away from campus on your own missions, Yuuta has grown fond of receiving your messages. He always attempts to read them in your voice and imagine your facial expressions to match those of the emojis you send. He hasn’t quite gotten the hang of those yet, doesn’t understand what Toge means when he says that not all smiley faces are created equally, so to save himself the trouble, and potential embarrassment, he’s opted to use emoticons instead. Which, if you asked him, has been working out in his favor, seeing as you call them cute. 
Yuuta also uses the safety of his phone screen to implement some of Gojo’s advice; picking your brain about curses, sorcery, and healing via text message for just long enough for you to say it’s easier to explain in person to come to him and teach him in your spare time. Soon these study sessions turn into texts asking to hang out outside of class and missions and work, and Yuuta couldn’t be more elated. The screen he once scorned at seemed to be his one-way ticket to being able to talk to his favorite person constantly. 
But Yuuta never thought it would become his only means of communication with you. He’s devastated when you break the news to him, over half-finished oolong tea and nervous finger-twiddling. 
“You’re leaving?” He echoes, hoping he doesn’t sound too much like a heartbroken child, even though that’s exactly how he feels. 
It’s quiet outside of the tea shop where you two sit, nearing seven in the evening; only the soft sounds of other customers conversing behind you two inside, distant cars on the main street, and the sound of Yuuta’s heart beating frantically.  
“Not leaving leaving,” you clarify, pausing your finger twirling to place one of your hands over Yuuta’s on the table, “I’m still studying, but I’m being sent abroad for a bit.” 
He should be focused on the fact that you’re touching his hand—Yuuta should be happy! Rika still cheers for you in his mind, but her voice is quieter now—but Yuuta can’t. He’s focused on everything else, spiraling about the implications of your words. You’re leaving... going away from him when things are going so well. 
Yuuta was so happy when you taught him the reversed curse technique, even happier when he realized he did have the ability to heal others, knowing it also meant having the ability to help you relieve some of your burdens. That didn’t mean that he didn’t still want to give himself to you, he would if you’d have him—but now he wouldn’t have the chance.  
“I haven’t told anyone else yet—Gojo only told me this morning,” you mumble, “I’m going to miss you all a lot, but we can still text every day! I don’t know how long the time difference will be, but we can FaceTime.” 
It’s not lost on Yuuta that he is the first person that you’ve told about this. It’s another thing to be happy about, another little victory he never thought he’d achieve, but it’s still overpowered by the dread of you leaving him. 
He blinks, placing his other hand atop yours, sandwiching them between his, “How long?” Yuuta can’t read the expression on your face, but you don’t pull your hand away. He’s glad. He didn’t think when he’d done it, but the lack of rejection feels good—your touch always feels good, reverse cursed energy or not. 
“I’m… not sure—a few months at least, maybe until the end of the year,” you admit, squeezing his hand, “There are some cursed objects and scrolls they want me to help recover, and Gojo says I get to work with another Special Grade sorcerer, too.” 
His hands feel so good, so warm, but everything else about Yuuta feels cold, icy with dread and fear. You’re going away for a long time, and he won’t get to see you or hear you laugh or feel your warmth while you’re gone. His sunny days are going away, and Yuuta honestly doesn’t know how many more overcast skies and rain clouds he can take.
And it’s selfish, he knows. He should be happy for you—you were chosen for this mission, for this training; you’re getting the chance to use your skills to help others, and train even further. So, why couldn’t he be happy for you? Why could he only feel a pit in his stomach about the thought of you leaving and meeting some other Special Grade who’s rightfully deserving of their title? Not only had he lost the thing that brought him to you in the first place, but you’re about to find another replacement. Sure, with or without Rika’s curse, Yuuta had become so much stronger, but what’s it worth if he couldn’t keep you by his side?
“Tsukumo is supposed to be really cool, but you’ll always be my favorite Special Grade, Yuuta,” you taunt with a smile. 
Yuuta’s eyes go wide and watery with wobbly lips and flushed cheeked and sweaty palms to match. Favorite. Favorite, favorite, favorite. The word spoken in your voice rings in his head like a beautiful chime, the tones washing over him and erasing all his fear and doubt and insecurity. 
You had called Yuuta your favorite. Sure, he’s still upset when he and the other first-years drop you off at the airport too weeks later, he still cries the first night you’re gone, still nearly breaks his knee trying to jump for his phone the first time that you call; but it’s okay because Yuuta is living off of the temporary high of being your favorite. 
And also, because, in the end, your separation seems to have been inevitable. Not a month after everyone bids you farewell from Jujutsu Tech, Gojo tells him that he’s next on the docket to be sent abroad. He’s happy for a split second, thinking that he might get sent off to Europe where you’re still working with Tsukumo, but then Yuuta learns his true fate: studying under the tutelage of Miguel in Kenya; equal parts away from his classmates in Tokyo, and from you in Barcelona. 
Whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder was a liar and a bitch, because the favorite boy honeymoon comes to an end when Yuuta settles into his new room and makes his first call to you from Nairobi. The feeling and reality of being alone, and even further away from you finally hits him. Still, he relishes in the sound of your voice; fantasizes that when you reach for your phone to show him your new things, it’s you reaching for his hand; dreams of you laying next to him when you fall asleep on the call, and desperately wishes that he could touch you, hold you, kiss you. 
He really wants to kiss you. He thinks he’s probably always wanted to kiss you, from the very moment his feelings for you started to grow; even if he couldn’t discern them at first, he knows now—Yuuta knows that he misses you like he’s never missed anyone before. The grief of losing part of Rika, and then losing his proximity to you merely weeks apart is finally catching up to him, and it’s morphing into a yearning that tugs on his heartstrings and rattles his brain. 
He knows that the rate of growth of his feelings for you hasn’t been steady, but he blames you for that. You’re the reason he loves you so much, the reason he can’t sleep at night, the reason he learns how to bring Rika back—because he thinks of you, you, you, and how he lost Rika once, and he’d be a fool to lose you twice.
Yuuta thinks it’s no coincidence that your cursed technique has the ability to alter him in mind and body. You have so much ownership over him and you probably don’t even know that Yuuta has spent every single moment of his life living and breathing for you since you’ve met. 
And you take his breath away yet again, when he gets to see you in Germany. Miguel is taking him to Switzerland on a classified mission, and you and Tsukumo are on your way to Austria, and by some great miracle, your layovers align. When he sees you waving to him down the long corridor in the airport, it feels like a scene straight out of his dreams. Yuuta spares no time trying to look cool or nonchalant; making a beeline to you, desperate to feel your touch after so long. 
He’s breathless in those ten minutes that you’re reunited. Everything is too short, but he does his best to live in it all. He speaks a mile a minute, cramming in anything he hadn’t already revealed to you in your many late-night FaceTimes, and swallowing everything you tell him. He wants to believe that he’d made the best of what little time he had with you, but the truth is he didn’t. Because while you were smiling and hugging and telling him that you missed him, all Yuuta really wanted to do was kiss you—and if he were a smarter man, a better man, he would have. 
He thinks, for a split second, that you might have wanted to kiss him too—when you rock back on your heels after saying good-bye, hesitating for just a moment, almost expectantly, before your eyes flutter away. He’ll never know, because he never asked, he never tried, he never said—only whispered, pathetically, to himself as he watches the silhouette of you and Tsukomo before you disappear for boarding, that he loves you. 
He almost believes that you hear it when you turn over your shoulder after his quiet confession. Would it have been better that way—if he kissed you, or confessed in the heat of the moment—or would it be taking advantage of an otherwise beautiful moment? Yuuta will never know, and the what if tantalizes him.
He takes his phone out of his pocket and opens the thread of your messages. He starts typing, then stops. Backspace. Start typing. Pause. Read, re-read. Delete. Groan. 
What’s the point? He can’t kiss you through the screen, and he’ll be damned if the first time he tells you that he’s in love with you is via phone call. He slumps his shoulders, and Miguel gives him a pity pat on the back. Yuuta goes to lock his phone when he sees the gray thought bubbles pop up below your last message and his entire body goes rigid in anticipation. 
[received] 03:27 PM — [attachment: 1 image] — you should keep a closer eye on your things yuuta — i miss you already (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ 
Yuuta’s heart stops when he sees the picture of you in your seat, wearing his white uniform jacket. He doesn’t know when you snuck it away from him, but that doesn’t matter—like anything else, he would have willingly given it to you, and then some. It looks much better on you anyway, and Yuuta pinches his eyes shut for a brief moment, to swallow down the thoughts threatening to swarm his mind of you in his arms, in other clothes, in his bed. 
He opens his eyes, takes a deep breath, and lets the warm, gooey feeling settle into his veins, and moves his fingers to type. 
[sent] 03:38 PM — keep it, you can have anything of mine you want — i miss you more (๑′ ᴗ ‵๑)♥
You heart his messages and let him know you’re taking off soon, and putting your phone on airplane mode until you land. He’s not so confident to send a picture in return, unless you ask for it. Maybe you will, when you’re in Austria. He’ll have to work on his selfies.
He takes another once over the picture you sent, committing the idea of you in his clothes to memory. He knows the messages won’t delete themselves, but he takes a screenshot for safekeeping anyway. Maybe phones aren’t so bad, afterall. 
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#4 — Do not kill Itadori Yuuji. Under any circumstances. Even if some days you really feel like it. Also, sign up for a Crunchyroll subscription. 
Yuuta can confidently say that his training abroad was both the most difficult and fulfilling thing he’s ever experienced. He believes that the change he’s endured is mostly good—he’s physically stronger, emotionally wiser, and overall more confident in himself and his cursed technique. One year ago, he would have been content with dying, but now he has more than enough reasons to keep living. He has people who care about him, and who would miss him if he were gone; and he’s got someone he would miss a whole bunch, too, should anything happen to them.  
By miss Yuuta means that he might burn down a small town, might level a city, might flip the entire world on its axis if something were to happen to you. In his defense, he’d go to extremes for most of his friends—but for you, there’s truly nothing he wouldn’t risk.  
He figured that out in his time abroad, too; came to terms with the fact that he’s selfish with his love. He loves too much, too hard, too close, and he isn’t very willing to share. He doesn’t see it as a bad thing, anymore, either—Yuuta knows now that the way he loves makes him who he is, and right now, he has the confidence to say that he likes that person, and that he loves you, undoubtedly. 
So, forgive him if there’s a cloud of negative energy the size of a coach bus looming over him at the moment, because since you’ve returned to campus, Itadori Yuuji has been slobbering over you like a lovesick puppy.  
Because apparently, you happen to know Itadori Yuuji—as in, since you were four and he was three, all the way up until your senior year of highschool, when you were scouted by Gojo, who, believes that you coming home from your study abroad trip would be the perfect time to reunite two best friends who hadn’t seen or heard from each other for the better part of two years—all while keeping this little reunion a secret from everybody, including you and Itadori.
A surprise, it certainly is, when the first time that Yuuta and the other second-years see you in months is on the dingy couch in the common room, under a cuddle pile of the first-years. Nobara’s arms wrapped around your left arm, body slumped against your side, Megumi’s long limbs stretching over Itadori’s torso, leaving the palm of his hand resting on your thigh. Far too close for Yuuta’s comfort. The only saving grace is that the jacket he loaned you is also spread across your lap, offering another layer between your body and his palm. And then there’s Itadori Yuuji, squished right between you and Megumi, with his head on your shoulder, his arms around your waist, and your free arm slung around his neck. 
Yuuta should have been relishing in the fact that you were finally home, but all his focus is drawn to the way your position allows Itadori to cuddle right into you, to the way your arm is around his shoulder and your cheek pressed against the top of his head. You two might as well have been in your own little world, and Yuuta hates it. And, as if that’s not enough, the realization that he was not the first person to hug you or welcome you home clicks, and his anger bubbles deeper.  
Next comes dread, that creeps in slowly when you and the first-years wake up, and you and Itadori go on and on and on about how surprised you were to see each other at the airport, how Itadori just assumed that when Gojo said he’d assigned them to “pick up something super special,” that he was messing with them, how you couldn’t seem to take your eyes off of your precious, precious kouhai that you’d missed so dearly.
Childhood best friends brought back together through sorcery. Yuuta’s seen that one before, and he didn’t like the ending.
You and Itadori mend the gap in your friendship like two years of no contact was nothing, falling into a pattern that’s so easy and familiar, that it’s painful for Yuuta to watch. The assumption that you’d died, and the knowledge that Yuuji had actually died only served to strengthen your vows to protect each other in the name of your friendship from here on out.  
Yuuta considers putting his own sword through his chest if it means you’ll swear your devotion to him. If he died, would you cry for him? Would you pray over his grave and beg for him to come back to you?—or would you find comfort in those who kept living, find solace in a friend who came back for you and can still hold you in his arms? 
“Tsuna tsuna,” he hears from his left, followed by a mischievous giggle. Toge’s taunting is hardly enough to pull Yuuta out of his cloud of rage, but the blunt end of Maki’s staff is.  
“Will you stop pining so damn hard?” she sneers, whipping the staff back to her side and placing a hand on her hip, “Not only is it pathetic, it’s gonna attract curses like flies to honey.”  
“Why am I the only one getting hit?” He turns to his right to motion to Megumi, who seems to be brooding just as hard. Megumi respects you, but it was easy to see that he was reaching his limit on sharing his recently revived lover with someone else. Maki huffs, “Because he doesn’t have a literal cloud of darkness looming around him.”  
Yuuta sighs, doing his best to reign in his feelings, but it’s pointless once he hears your laughter across the field—light and airy and sunshiney and all because of Itadori Yuuji. 
What were you two talking about? If Itadori were out of the way, would you pledge yourself to Yuuta? Did he ever hold a space comparable to Itadori in your heart—would you let him?
A broken chord strikes Yuuta’s heart when he realizes that Itadori is the person you told him about last year; the person you missed so much, and you never thought you’d be able to see again; the person that Yuuta reminded you of; the person he was happy and eager to be for you. And now, in knowing Itadori, Yuuta thinks that his willingness was beautifully naive—to think that he could compare to someone like this. Itadori is light, where Yuuta is dark; he sees the best in people, where Yuuta manages to come off on the wrong foot always; he perseveres in faith and determination, where Yuuta is fueled by an anxious desire to prove, prove, prove himself to be worth something to anybody. 
He can see how easy it is to love Itadori. It’s easy to cling to faith, to believe in something higher than yourself, to know that someone above can pull you up. Yuuta cannot compete where he cannot compare; he’s a shadow that engulfs you, takes you away from light, a dream that’s hard to wake up from. He could never be bright to you; his best attempt would probably drive you and him too close to the sun, martyred for love in burning flames.
Still, even in all his jealousy, Yuuta comes to the even more sobering realization that making Itadori disappear wouldn’t fix his problems. You told him he wasn’t Itadori’s replacement, but maybe that’s because he could never be him; maybe he doesn’t have to be. Yuuji could never be him, and he could never be Yuuji, but whether Yuuta likes it or not, he and Itadori are two sides of the same coin; and as such, Yuuta has, begrudgingly, grown to feel the same sense of responsibility over the younger boy that you do.
So, even though he never expected that they would both be at the mercy of your hand at the same time in this lifetime, he absolutely cannot kill Itadori Yuuji. Not only would it make you sad, but it would probably make Yuuta even sadder in the end, somehow. What a bother. 
He’s about to get up—to leave, maybe go over there, he doesn’t know yet—but he stops when he hears a calm buzzing by his ear. Yuuta blinks, slowly, shoulders relaxing unconsciously, allowing the larger than normal honey-bee to land on him. He recognizes it as one of your shikigami—and even if he hadn’t, that familiar, cooling sensation that washes over him would have let him know—so, gently, he lifts a hand across his torso, allowing it to crawl onto his finger, and strum its tune.
Yuuta can feel a few more, hear them humming around him, and he closes his eyes, lets the small group of bees flutter around him and all that looming jealousy dissipates from his body. 
Faintly, past the calm hum of the small swarm, Yuuta can hear the call of Yuuji’s voice, petulant, “Aw, no fair. Fushiguro, I want calming shikigami, too! Can you bring out the bunnies? Please.” 
Beside him, Toge and Maki seem bemused by his newly calmed state, then amused when Megumi sighs, stands, and reluctantly pulls his hands together before a couple dozen white rabbits flood the field and hop onto Yuuji. 
The buzzing grows softer, and then quiet. Briefly, Yuuta feels a bee land on his cheek, before it flies away, leaving the smell of fresh pollen in his wake, and when he blinks his eyes open again, you’re there, in front of him with a smile sweeter than anything he’s ever known. 
“Hope they didn’t scare you,” you muse, waving a finger before the last bee hovering around you disappears, “You seemed upset, everything alright?” 
He’s about to open his mouth to say something, anything, when he’s cut off by Itadori Yuuji once again, with one bunny on either shoulder, and three more cradled in his arms. “Hey, doesn’t (_____) totally remind you guys of Sakura!”  
Maki scoffs, albeit with amusement, as she points her staff at Yuuji’s hair. “If anyone bears resemblance to Sakura, it’s you, Itadori.”  
Yuuji actually makes an attempt to look at his own hair before chuckling. Yuuta flashes a look to Megumi, who looks equal parts exasperated and enchanted. Yuuta doesn’t get the reference, and when Inumaki starts making gestures about how Yuuji is like some Naruto guy and Yuuji screams about how Megumi resembles a Shikamaru, he becomes too afraid to ask.  
You seemed charmed at the end of the discussion, when everybody fundamentally agrees that you’re the Sakura of the group. Yuuta is far less charmed by these comparisons (and it has nothing to do with the fact that he didn’t get one). He doubts that this Sakura person can do what you can do, doubts that Sakura is even worthy enough to be compared to you, whoever she may be. 
And maybe Yuuta goes back to his room to watch several compilation videos about ships in Naruto later that day, but nobody has to know that. From what he’s gathered, Sakura is pretty cool, and even though Yuuji bears the most physical resemblance to her, he can see why everyone agrees that your healing abilities compare well to hers. Yuuta thinks you’re better, and he’s still holding out hope that there’s some other character equivalent for you that Itadori didn’t think of, that Yuuta can, just to prove that he knows you better. He doesn’t fight any comparisons between Gojo and Kakashi, though. That one honestly freaked him out a little. 
If it turns out that you’re Sakura, then he should hope to be Sasuke, but Yuuta thinks this dude is kind of a dick. From the 47 minutes of scattered Naruto content that he’s consumed, he actually much prefers the dynamic between Sakura and Naruto, even if that does equate to Itadori Yuuji having a crush on you, at least you’re out of his league and chasing after somebody else. 
Still, he thinks Sakura would be upset if Naruto actually died, or worse, if Sasuke actually killed him—never mind the fact that apparently he tried to kill her? Yuuta would never do that, but Sakura still seems to like Sasuke after all of that... in any case, Itadori Yuuji must live, and Yuuta must accept his fate as Sasuke reborn. 
Though, to Yuuta’s understanding so far, Sasuke and Naruto are destined to duke it out and if only one of them has to survive, then maybe it’s not so bad to be this guy. Yuuta doesn’t know how it ends between them, but he thinks he could take on Itadori Yuuji if he had to. He won’t because he’s your friend, and Yuuta’s friend now, too, but if Itadori or the curse inside of him acts up, then Yuuta can at least rest assured he can put a stop to it. That’s not something he could have guaranteed a year ago, but now, he can. 
Yuuta sighs, finally locking his phone and shoving his head under his blanket. He’s been knee deep in analyses about Sakura ships for the past two and a half hours now, and he’ll admit Sasuke is growing on him, but not much. His only saving grace seems to be that Sakura is madly, unconditionally in love with him; Yuuta wouldn’t mind having that kind of devotion from you. He turns to lay on his back, staring up at the blank ceiling and wonders: if it came down to saving only one of them, would Sakura pick Naruto or Sasuke... would you choose the boy who’s loved and looked up to you since you were kids, or the boy who sacrificed everything in hopes of gaining enough strength so that what happened to him never happens to anyone else. 
Maybe they answer that in the series, Yuuta reasons. 720 episodes, at 20 minutes per episode... if he devotes about half-a-day to watching Naruto, then he can breeze through it in a little over two weeks, maybe sooner if he uses his weekends efficiently. That’s plausible, and by the end of it, Yuuta is certain that he’ll have the answers he needs—and even if it doesn’t, then at least, he’ll have one more thing to talk to you about.
In the end, Sakura picks Sasuke, Naruto marries somebody else, and Yuuta understands that the two were never opposites, but complements, and that Itadori Yuuji-shaped pit in his stomach dissipates. Still, about three weeks later at breakfast he makes the argument that if anything you’re more akin to Tsunade, minus the gambling addiction, and that gets him rave reactions from everyone, including you, who is more than happy to show him your new slug shikigami as a means of commemorating your new Naruto kin. 
Believe that, Itadori. 
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#5 — None of this matters if you don’t kiss her. You have to kiss the girl—or she’ll get mad enough to the point where she’ll kiss you.
The following month comes your indictment into the Semi-Special Grade hall of responsibility. Yuuta vaguely recalls Gojo’s lecture on how people don’t really get promoted to Special Grade—it’s classification you’re born or cursed with, like himself, or Yuuji, or Tsukumo—but, you, of course, defy all odds and expand everything Yuuta knows. Nobody is surprised—Yuuta thinks everyone was among the similar thought that you were undoubtedly unique amongst your classmates, in a way that was different from him or Yuuji. Being born with a body that generates reversed cursed energy instead of cursed energy is deserving of Special Grade status if you asked him; he doesn’t know what pushed the higher-ups into finally acknowledging your skill, but he knows it’s well-past due. And while he’s happy you’re getting recognition for your efforts, Yuuta would never wish to saddle you with half of the shit the higher-ups put him through. 
They better hope that Yuuta doesn’t find out that they’re plotting anything with you, lest they meet the end of his sword.
Part of your promotion entails a dual-degree program that will have you starting medical school next fall. Yuuta almost cries at the thought of you being sent away again, until you tell him that Gojo managed to pull a few strings this time—to fund everything and keep you in Tokyo. 
And even though you’re not licensed to treat civilians yet, you’re already more than experienced with taking care of and healing your fellow sorcerers, which lends Shoko’s promotional gift to be a shiny new office, right across from hers. Yuuta is the first person you invite inside, and he brings you a photo of you, him, Maki, and Toge from last year—honestly, probably the only photo the four of you have together—to christen your desk, and a plaque with your name on it for the door, that he may or may not have fantasized about it reading with your first name and his last name on it instead.
To no surprise, your office becomes a safe haven of sorts. Yuuta would define any time or place with you as a safe haven, but there’s something special about this place. Maybe Yuuta is still leaping from this being the second time you’ve chosen him. He’s the first person to see your office, the first person to sit at your chair, your first official patient when he stubs his toe against the corner of your desk (where he left the first decorative object). Maybe it’s a little far to say that this place has him all over it as much as it does you, but Yuuta likes the sound of that. 
When he comes back from gruesome missions, he’s invited to let himself in, no matter how much blood he’s covered in, and you’ll be there to take care of him. It’s not different than before—not different than even last year when he’d waddled in your shadow to the room across the hall and sat down with heart palpitations while you fixed his wrist—but something about this feels special. It holds a different weight than hanging out in your dorm or cooking together in the kitchen; this office is yours, the things you say and do to him here are confidential, the yearning for and almost-kisses you almost have are for you and him alone; within these four walls, you’re free to curse him completely. 
So, he’s understandably upset when your office becomes a cozy corner for the other students as well. Maki likes to take refuge inside to study alone, Panda and Toge have been caught on more than one occasion attempting to wrap gauze around each other like zombies, Megumi uses your supplies and basic first-aid lessons to prepare small kits for him and the other first-years, hell, even Gojo has been found asleep in your office on more than one occasion. He gets why people are drawn to you like a magnet, why you’re comforting, and welcoming, and a source of warmth for them, but that doesn’t mean that Yuuta likes to share you. It’s much harder to almost-kiss you this way. 
He must have pouted loud enough about it, because shortly after, instead of inviting Yuuta to your office for lunch, you ask him to meet you on the field. Not one to question you, he obeys, and soon, instead he’s met with an entirely new safe haven, sitting criss-cross inside your domain with all your shikigami slithering and fluttering and buzzing about him. A butterfly lands on his nose, and Yuuta’s nose crinkles. You lean in to let it crawl on your finger instead, and don’t lean too far back when you slowly begin to explain to him the intricacies of your domain and how it all comes together. 
It’s amazing, surely. Yuuta listens as best he can, but it’s hard when there’s a halo of butterflies around you, and a symphony of bees buzzing in his ear, and a slug kissing at his hand, and a snake coiling around his body and gently massaging his muscles, and your voice sound so soft and warm, and you look so pretty and, and, and he wants to kiss you again. 
He wants to kiss you really badly. He wonders if that’s part of your domain—honestly, he’d wondered if that magnetic, honey-like attraction he has to you is in any part influenced by your healing nature—wonders if the confines of your space exacerbates the flow of blood to his heart and his cheeks and his—
“Are you listening?” you question, that glowing, addictive smile on your face, “You know I can make the snake bite, the bees sting.” 
God, Yuuta wants to kiss you. He wants to live in the spring garden of your love forever, and ever, and roll around in the grass and drink honey with you, and kiss you and kiss you and kiss you. You could keep him here forever, he’d be perfectly content with living his days wrapped up in your curse. 
Yuuta shakes his head to snap out of his daydream, disrupting a few butterflies in the process. “I—sorry,” he apologies, “I’m listening now.”
You hum, folding your legs underneath your knees and sitting before him. Yuuta’s certain he looks slightly ridiculous, covered head to toe in animals and small insects and burning underneath your gaze—wasn’t this domain supposed to help people feel better? Is there no cure for lovesickness that you can use on him—or, at the very least, embarrassment?
“I asked you why you won’t kiss me.” 
Yuuta knows that if he weren’t in your domain right now, he would have fallen to a sudden death. “I—I, um,” words, Yuuta, words; a bee lands on his cheek, he takes a deep breath, “I’m sorry.” 
That doesn’t seem like the right answer, judging by the twist of your lips. Of course it’s not—because it’s a lie, and you know it, and you know he knows that you know it. How could he be sorry for wanting you, for spending every last waking moment breathing for you, hoping that you’ll end his laborious breaths and pour air into him yourself?
“You know, I brought you in here to make sure that you wouldn’t run or pass out on me,” you confess, reaching out your hand towards him; the tip of your finger barely grazes his cheek as you allow the bee to crawl onto you, “I worry about your heart more than I should.” 
You flick your finger gently, allowing the bee to flutter freely and your eyes to focus back on Yuuta’s, “Right now, in this domain, it’s mine to control. To stop, to beat.” It’s yours outside of here, too; to fix, to break. He knows. He knows, he knows, he knows. “Why won’t you let me have it, Yuuta?” 
Yuuta gasps, and despite his surprise, despite his extreme lovesickness, despite his dark desires, his heartbeat remains steady, his body remains perfectly tempered and cool, his voice resonates clearly—all because of you. 
“You’ve always had it,” he confesses, “Always. From the moment I met you.” 
He can’t read your expression. He’s suddenly hyper aware of the power struggle here; domain aside, you can hear everything about him, sense the slightest physiological change in him, alter any one of his bodily functions at your whim and Yuuta doesn’t know what goes on in you. Would it be wrong to confess that he likes it; that this feels like you having him, that he likes knowing you can take him? 
“I thought so, maybe,” you enlighten him, “Last year with all the calls and texts,” you lean over and set free a butterfly from his shoulder, “And then in the airport,” then guiding the snake to coil around your arm and around your torso, “And then I thought maybe you’d have said something when you were jealous of Yuuji,” this time your hand touches him, a feather-light touch to his elbow, “But you didn’t, and I was beginning to wonder if I was hearing your heart beat for someone else, instead.” 
Yuuta grabs at your hand erratically, “No—no. Never.” 
He’s senselessly in love with you, and if it weren’t for your healing hands, Yuuta’s certain his ribs would have cracked from the pressure of his happy heart by now; but then again, maybe he should ask you to let it break—let that fracture serve as an entry point for you and yours, to prove to you that it beats for you and you alone. 
“So then what is with you? You have a habit of giving girls your heart and not kissing them, or asking them out—is it always straight to marriage with you?” 
It’s torture hearing that word fall from your lips. He doesn’t have time to even begin to process it. Yuuta’s eyes flicker to the smile on your lips, the slight tilt of your head. He says something he shouldn’t, “Would you be opposed to that?” 
“I’d like a kiss first,” you tease, “Would you give me one?” 
And how could he ever deny you anything. There, with a harmony of beautiful insects and warm sunlight, Yuuta finally, finally, takes the last move forward to kiss you. It’s everything he wants and exactly as he’d imagined—he can feel the rush in his bones, the want in his stomach, the love against his skin when you fall into him. 
It’s one kiss, and another, and then Yuuta can feel your tongue against his, greedily falling into the rush of you. He’s everywhere, hands on your neck, lips on yours, body stradling yours when he carefully leans you backwards; Yuuta has you, and you have him, and he won’t let this moment go to waste. He pulls away for a moment, only a moment, to take in your kiss-swollen lips and commit this vision to memory. He’ll have to take another visual photograph outside of your domain, when your bodies are free to breathe erratically and equilibrium is broken so you and truly, truly, feel all of Yuuta’s love in earnest. 
He wonders if it’s the effect of your domain that prevents his nerves from running haywire when you take off his shirt, when you let him take off your pants, when you have your hands on his chest and his on your hips. It must be. Yuuta knows for certain that otherwise, he’d be a blushing mess of fumbling limbs and stuttering words. 
Still, Yuuta thinks, domain or no domain, he wouldn’t let this moment pass him. It’s not nerves when his hand brushes over your clothed clit and he hears you moan—even if it had been, that would have been the antidote to his poison. Lust, pressure, possession wash over him in excruciating waves. He wants more. He wants you. 
Impatience when he adds pressure with his hand, bliss when you buck your hips to add more of your own, greedily grinding against his fingers. Yuuta kisses you again, swallows your moans and feeds you his own when slips his hand past the barrier of your underwear, and he feels your warm, wet cunt against his fingertips for the first time, and when he pushes two fingers into your heat, he thinks he could cum right then and there, from this alone. 
“Yu—Yuuta, more,” you plead. Your hand on his neck, fingernails scraping into his skin that should leave a mark. They probably won’t. He’ll be sure that next time they stick. 
And Yuuta, unable to deny you anything, obeys. He curls his fingers inside of you, thrusting gently at first, and then with more confidence—and warning, when he hears you snarl about not teasing. Ironic, he thinks, as he watches your lips fall open, since you’ve had him strung along since day one. 
“I wanna—wanna cum with you inside,” you moan, a sound that Yuuta promises to commit to memory. Later, when his brain is working better, and the coil in his stomach isn’t so tight, and you’re not clenching around his fingers. 
You’re greedy, and Yuuta’s never realized it. You suck him in and still want more, and you must know that he’ll give it to you. It should serve as a warning, you have the high-ground to take him any which way you want—for a fool, for granted, for yourself, for nobody else; so what does it say about him that it only spurs his arousal, that it makes him impossibly hard and he can feel himself leaking from the thought of it. 
“I want that, too,” he reassures you, leaning down to press his forehead against yours, because you’re perfect for him, “But I want this first. Give me this first, please. Please.” 
He thinks you might cry. The rational part of him knows you can regulate it, that you probably won’t; the sick part of him wants to see it, wants to know what it takes to make you lose control. 
You call his name like a prayer, once, twice, and on the third time, Yuuta can feel it as much as he can hear it. He can feel the moment that your walls clench, and your eyes screw shut, and your body convulses around him. You’re beautiful, irreverent, and Yuuta thinks that being responsible for this is the greatest achievement of his life. 
He wears your orgasm with pride, raking over you as you blink your eyes open to him again. You’re lucid too quickly, he really is going to have to take the time to enjoy this somewhere less controlled later, eagerly wrapping your hand around his wrist and forcing them to his mouth. Yuuta groans when he tastes you on his tongue, nothing short of euphoric, and he’s sure to taste every last drop. 
You smile, and then laugh—an almost inaudibly giggle that has Yuuta smiling back reflexively. Like always, he follows your every move and succumbs to all your whims when you lean up to kiss him, and then coax off his pants and underwear, and line the tip of his dick up with your slit and pull him in, again, by the neck to bite at his ear, “Come on, Yuuta. Give it to me.” 
An order, a promise, a plea—Yuuta vows to fulfill them all, determined and spell-bound when he sinks into you. He can only imagine what it feels like for you, but for him it’s warm, wet, soft, snug, sticky—like honey, like a bee drawn to sweetness. It’s good, too good, Yuuta doesn’t know how to last when you feel this good. 
He can feel you everywhere, around his dick, your hands on his back, your breath on his cheek, your skin against his. He feels stuck to you, stuck in you, mind, body, and soul as one, unable to differentiate him from you, from you, from you. 
“Fuck,” Yuuta stares, carefully swiping a thumb over your browbone, conscious but not in command on how deep he’s thrusting into you, “You’re so—fuck, I love you.” He wants to hear you say it back, he needs to, he has to. He can feel it again, stomach in knots, and nerves on fire, and skin sticky, and Yuuta has to know—“Please, please. Do you love me, too?” 
You stutter, only from the rock of his hips into yours, reaching for his face and cradling it between healing hands, “Of course I love you, Yuuta.” His mouth opens, wobbly, and tears flow over his eyes—briefly, Yuuta thinks that it’s cruel that you’d let him cry; that you have command over every function in his body and that you’d let him cry, but he can’t bring himself to be upset. He’d probably have cried regardless, because hearing you say that you love him is a rush comparable only to burning tightness in his gut right now. 
You tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling his lips to yours when you finally let go together. Yuuta can feel you tight around him, when he cums; and an unfiltered harmony of moans and skin on skin when he lays on top of you, sinks into you. Your hands don’t leave his hair, and Yuuta finds bliss in your affection, in being in your arms, in being yours. 
He doesn’t know how long you two stay like that, he doesn’t know if physical time passes in your domain, but it doesn’t matter. He’d stay here forever with you, let you use the full extent of your prowess to eat his heart out as sustenance, bleed for you to quench your thirst. He’d be everything you need and more; he’ll make sure that he’s all you want when it’s done and over. 
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gojonanami · 6 months
Text
IT'S A NEED - CHOSO KAMO
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✴︎ summary: after you take an attack meant for him, choso can't seem to understand why -- so you show him just how important he is to you. ✴︎ contents: 18+ only, angst then smut, choso is confused about human emotions, he doesn't know if he deserves love, making out, groping, sex (p in v), handjob (f! + m! receiving), semi-public sex (sort of), pet names (love, pretty, lovely) ✴︎ wc: 1,965
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“Why did you take that hit for me?” his words come out in a hiss, a rush of breath that he forces out between gritted teeth, as if he was both afraid to ask and afraid not to, “it was foolish, it was unnecessary—” 
You blow out a sigh between your pursed lips, as you rest against a damp sheet against cold concrete of a corner of Shibuya that currently wasn’t under attack — the not too distant groans of other injured not too far, but far enough for your privacy, “You know why I did it, so why are you asking that, when you mean to ask something else?” 
And you knew him — knew him a little too well for someone who only had known him a few weeks now? Is that how long it had been since he had joined up with sorcerers? Switched sides to protect his little brother — and somehow, he ended up here — sitting next to you instead of him. Yuji could handle himself — he had faith in his brother — and he knew you could too. A skilled sorcerer — he saw your skill firsthand from a distance during the fights in shibuya, and then up close when you nearly caved his head in when you found out how he almost killed Yuji. 
Is that when he first started to like you? 
He didn’t know. 
Could he even have such emotions? He had never known any sort of love, except for that of his brothers. But that was natural? To care for his family, to watch after them, to protect them, to avenge them. And anything that helped him achieve that goal, was worth it was it not? Even if it came at the cost of a different life, right? His eyes slid to you again, so why did it huqrt so much when he saw you crumpled on the ground, blood pooling on the cement around your abdomen, the same blood he didn’t think twice about when it spilled from other humans or sorcerers alike. Now, it was different. 
He was different — maybe you were, to him. 
 “What question am I asking then?” he finally asks, as you only sigh again, eyes fluttering open to look at him with that same gaze that felt as if you were looking right through him. 
“You’re asking me why I thought you were worthy of being saved in the first place?” and his mouth parts — words ringing in his ear. 
It was true — he was a cursed womb — a mixture of curse and human blood that never was supposed to exist in the first place, a thing that has no other purpose in this world, aside from his brothers. And especially after the things he’s done, the people he’s killed, the harm he’s caused, and even the body he walks in now isn’t his own, but a person killed for his gain — how was he worthy of saving? How was he worthy of the risk of your life? 
“And what’s your answer?” he asks, his voice growing raw, as he can’t bear to look at you, his gaze fixed on his lap, and he doesn’t see you push yourself up, sitting, as you stare at him, lips curling in a small smile, as you leaned over, fingers brushing against his cheek, that finally pull his gaze back to you. 
“Because you’re Choso, because you deserve to be saved, you deserve the same kindness you’ve given to us,” your fingers are so gentle against him, had he ever been touched so gently before? His eyes almost feel the urge to shut, and just indulge in the feeling of your skin against his, “you didn’t ask to be here, you were manipulated, you were controlled, and you were forced to be a pawn,” 
“But that doesn’t change—” 
“It doesn’t change the hurt you caused, no, but that’s not who you are now,” you force him to meet your gaze, lips curled in a smile, “and who are now is definitely worth saving,” 
“But why?” he still doesn’t understand, he still doesn’t see his worth, and you give your third sigh, before your other hand finds his shoulder, pulling him closer, a breath away. 
“Do I have to spell it out for you, Choso?” your words warm his lips, and send warmth to the tips of his fingers, warmth he hadn’t known since he had been forced to come back. And all he can feel is your hands against him, all he can see are your eyes gazing at him the way he thought anyone would, and all he can think about is when your lips are finally going to touch his, “because I think I can only show you now,” and your thumb finds his lips, dragging down the bottom one, “would you want that?” 
And his eyes flutter, a sharp intake of breath when your finger touches his lips, “I don’t think I’d like anything more,” he whispers, his eyes falling to your lips, as you lean forward. 
Your lips brush his, featherlight, as if you worry he’d recoil, he’d run, he’d leave, but he does none of those things. Your lips part from his and he’s staring, as you do, before his lips seek yours again. And this time, he’s sure. 
His lips surge against yours, as you melt into his touch, as gentle as can be — those same hands used to slaughter, now grazing your sides as if you’d break apart in his hands. And he didn’t care if the world was falling apart — and it was all around you both — if he could have this moment with you, maybe it’d be worth it. 
“What is this hold you have over me?” He murmurs, and you’re pulling him closer to your tattered blanket against the concrete, fingers running through his hair making him shiver, “you touch me and I can’t think straight, I can’t—“ 
“Then don’t,” you murmur, your lips pressing butterfly kisses to his jaw, “give in, let me love you,” 
And he does, relinquishing his thoughts and worries in exchange for your touch, and his hands find your waist, as you move slowly, climbing into his lap, making him grunt, before concern flickers across his features. 
“Your injuries—“ he starts, but your lips brush against his ear, lips curved against the soft flesh. 
“Are not as serious as how much I want you right now,” your words send a shiver down his spine, as your lips find his again, and you swallow his groan with pleasure. Your tongue parts his lips, as you taste him, fingers carding through his jet-black locks, fingers pulling at the ties in his hair, pulling them around your wrists, “I’ll keep them safe,” you tease, you tug teasingly at his hair making him gasp. 
You’re pulling moans and whines from his lips, as you part from him for a moment, breaths coming as pants, as you press your forehead to his, taking in his now kiss ruined lips and violet irises glazed with lust, “so pretty,” you coo, “too pretty, Choso, how am I supposed to resist?” 
And your fingers find their way to his belt, pausing, “is this okay?” Your hand cups his cheek, thumb brushing the length, and he’s nodding wordlessly, as his fingers find yours, undoing his belt and letting his robe fall open. 
Your breath catches as you see him, your fingers dragging over his bare chest and abs, your eyes finding your way to his cock — it was so pretty, long and thick with a pretty pearl of precum. And your gaze is hot, hypnotized, “all this f’me?” You murmur, making him swallow, and then gasp as your fingers trace the vein running up the side. Your lips curl, “oh we’re just getting started, baby,” 
Your fingers curl around his cock, your thumb rubbing against his slit, making him hiss, “I—“ his hips stutter against you, bumping against your damp shorts, making you groan. And he was so good in your hand, how good would he feel inside?
No, not yet, you wanted to make him feel good first. 
“It’s okay, just breath,” your fingers tease his head, smiling as his head lolls back, and your hand begins to stroke him, spreading the precum along his length, “I got you, let me make you feel good,” 
And your hand squeezes at the base, and he’s groaning your name, like a curse, as your other hand teases his balls, before you’re slipping off his lap, pressing his tip against your lips, painting them with his precum.
“You taste so good, Choso,” you lick your lips clean of him, tasting his salty precum. 
“Please, love,” he’s murmuring, a whine in his throat, his fingers pulling at your clothes, “I want you—I want you to feel good too,” 
And you smile, guiding his hands to your shorts, “Are you sure?” You murmur, kissing his neck, “we don’t-“ 
He’s pulling your shorts off, as he’s lowering you onto the sheet gently, tugging them off, his calloused palms parting your soft thighs. And his gaze darkens, half lidded with lust, “You’re lovely,” his fingers brush against your soaked folds, thumb pressing against your puffy clit, making you gasp, “you like that?” He hums. 
And he’s leaning down, his lips brushing against your inner thigh, “Choso, please—“ and his breath warms your cunt, pressing a kiss to your dripping pussy, drawing a gasp from your lips, “I need you—“ 
“What do you need, pretty?” His velvet words are thick and slow like molasses, settling warm heat over your skin, as his hands draw up your thighs around his waist, “do you want my hands? My lips?” 
And your hips roll against him, his tip bumping against your cunt, “what do you think?” And he’s hissing, before he’s grasping as his dick, teasing you with his head, “fuuuck, Choso,” 
“Not so loud,” he murmurs, “someone could hear us, see you all spread out for me, and this view is just for me, lovely,” and his cock is parting your folds, both moaning in synchrony, your walls fluttering around him, “so tight, pretty, so fucking wet,” 
You think he’s even prettier, brow furrowed and forehead slick with sweat, kiss bitten lips parted in a pant, and his violet eyes fluttering. And he’s bottoming out in you, his hips pressed against you, “so good, so perfect,” he’s murmuring, and he’s pulling out only to thrust back in. His strokes are languid at first, before he’s fucking you in earnest, hips snapping against yours, “. 
“Choso, fuck, please, I’m close—“ your back is arching against him, and his lips find yours again in a searing kiss, as his fingers reach down between the two of you, and press against your clit, just as his hips piston into you just right with deep long strokes, until your walls are clamping down. He doesn’t last much longer, his hips stuttering against you, until he’s moaning, his hot load painting your walls white, as he fucks his cum into you. 
And he’s panting above you, as you pull him into a sloppy kiss, pulling him beside you, as he slips out of you, making you whine at the emptiness.
“Don’t think that was part of Shoko’s instructions for recovery,” you murmur against his lips, as you grin, “but it was definitely needed,” 
His lips curl, as he’s pressing kisses along your jaw, “So you need me, huh?” and the question fills him with warmth, just as you have, a sort of purpose he had never had, aside from his family — a want for him that he had never thought he’d be lucky enough to have. 
And you only smile, pulling him into another kiss, “Why else do you think I took that hit for you?” 
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✴︎ a/n: new episode did something to me. i have a longer fic planned for choso, but this will have to do for today :). yes i'm posting this in the middle of the night, sue me.
✴︎ tag list: @kakashineedstotouchgrass, @kemitoi, @thecooldino, @moonnime, @bontensbabygirl, @wretchedinfinity, @lemonpoppy-seed, @ichikanu, @snowscaping, @kamikokii, @fwankieero, @ssaraexposs, @astridyoo15, @cascading-escapist, @sniffsnoffsniff, @raddiplomatshepherdhero, @nverwashere, @n00v4, @unohanaswetdream, @staygoldsquatchling02, @anime9ja,
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star-girl69 · 4 months
Text
Love Song
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader
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a/n: just needed to do some general hc’s to get all my thoughts in order i hope you all enjoy!!
Love song - Lana Del Rey
warnings: the formatting is weird idk why i can’t fix it but y’all will live, swearing, a little itty bitty bit of violence, every facet of clarisse finding its way here and i love them all, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
i’m sure we all agree on this
but clarisse is very protective of you
even if you’re a very capable fighter, even if you’re even better than her, clarisse is still so protective of you
i mentioned this in one of my fics (maybe so it goes…????) but like the reason behind this is the fact that clarisse is just SCARED
she is terrified of losing you bc you are the only one she feels like she can be herself with
like clarisse is insane!!!!! in a good way!!!!! but also she’s a 17 year old girl…. she wants TO BE LOVED
she tries to talk to you about how she feels about her dad and about everything else in her life, but even though she doesn’t want to be, she’s locked up like a vault
she knows her emotions are always super intense and she has big reactions
major anger issues but they’ve gotten better with age
the problem is she spent her entire life being told that she needed to calm down, that she couldn’t feel like that all the time, and she just tried to shut down
obviously that did not work
but it still makes it virtually impossible to talk about her feelings
when it comes to you tho she’s an open book
she’s a daughter of ares she’s headstrong she’s proud and her fatal flaw is PRIDE
i mentioned this before but she wants everyone to know that you’re hers and she’s yours
your relationship is partly very public
she’s not afraid to touch you or kiss you
she’s not afraid to show you off and (needs to) show everyone that yes your beautiful self belongs to HER
so naturally she gets very jealous
even when you’re like clarisse you are INSANE
there’s been a few times when you first started dating and you were still getting comfortable and weren’t that public yet so like someone would flirt with you
it went like this
boy: hey what’s up you’re kinda fine
y/n: oh! oh yeah no….. no…..
clarisse: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU—
then she started attacking him
lost dessert privileges for a month, she proudly declared that it was worth it (besides you would sneak her bites of yours like)
now that everyone knows you’re hers her jealousy is rooted a lot more in delusion and insecurity
you’ll be like in a group talking someone and she’ll pull you closer and be like “i think that guys staring at you a little too much.”
“clarisse no the fuck he’s not what”
b/c of the fact that she isn’t a son for her father she gets insanely jealous if specifically a MAN gets even an inch too close however innocently
she doesn’t want to think it but she thinks you’ll eventually realize her father is right and she’s not as useful or good bc she’s a girl
most of the time when she gets jealous bc of her insecurities she just becomes extra clingy
but also any emotion she feels she gets extra clingy to you so sometimes it’s hard to tell LMAO
she isn’t really a big hand holder but that’s only because she’s actually holding you CLOSER to her by your waist
also one more note about your relationship publically
everyone gets whiplash bc like she’s a BULLY fo everyone else and then you walk over and she’s all heart eyes
i hate everyone but you trope save me
save me i hate everyone but you trope
THIS HAPPENED IN IN A GOOD WAY
clarisse: pushes percy over
you: nuh uh clarissseeeeeeee
clarisse: omg hi beautiful gf
you: touches her shoulder, looks at her disapprovingly
clarisse: fine i’ll go, *scares percy*, bye bye beautiful ily
like she’s just being a bitch and then all of a sudden you come around and she’s like hiiiiiii babyyyyy how is my gorgeous gorgeous girl today??
so outwardly clarisse is just very proud and touchy
privately she lets herself be a little more chill
this is where she really touchy you thought before was worse nah
idk if y’all have noticed but in my fics clar’s always holding on y/n’s hips and that’s just me self projecting bc i have the most horrid hip dips but my point still stands
SHE LOVES YOUR HIPS
would totally call them “love handles” IM SORRYY
but she just likes having a place to hold where she can just like kinda actually physically grab you with her hands
like yeah she can wrap her arms around your waist but she likes to GRAB you
cuddling w her is fun bc like this girl cannot get ENOUGH of you there’s only like three ways you cuddle
you on top of her whether just like completely on top of her (one of her favs) or just with your head on her chest
this is what happens whenever you feel scared
like there was a monster attack just near the barrier and you’ve all been feeling uneasy all day
TRUST you are sleeping in her bed tonight
wraps her arms around you so tight it’s like she’s crushing you
also she’s running your back or caressing your head whichever you prefer
she keeps her spear right next to her bed and makes sure you can see it so you know however subconsciously NOTHING can hurt you bc she’s right there (nothings gonna hurt you baby vibes)
or she’s on top of you this one usually happens when she’s feeling a little extra insecure and jealous and it’s like no one can see you if she’s on top of her so then you’re hers
she isn’t the smartest one in the bunch but she has good intentions!!!!
also she lays on top of you if you get hurt
like after so it goes for example when y/n got that little cut on her hand
you’re like “clar pls you’re crushing me”
“um ok you scared the shit out of me today tho you need to LET ME do this fuck”
third option
you’re both laying on your side and facing each other legs tangled together and she’s probably whispering to you
she’s a big whisperer i feel it in my heart
like tracing her hands on your face and saying your so beautiful or telling you how you make her feel
oh lord take me now
also she loves you the way hozier loves
“someone asked me in the end i’d tell them ‘put me back in it’ // darlin’ i would do it again // if i could hold for a minute”
“when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth no grave could hold my body down i’d crawl back to her”
like she BREATHES for you
if she died and then you were like “i miss you” trust she would find a way to come back to life
totally daydreams about going on such a fantastical quest that the gods offer both of you immortality so you can be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever
like if the world ends y’all would still be there having a little picnic date
devotion is the only word that comes close
anyways
ok nicknames she calls you:
baby, angel, gorgeous, pretty thing/girl, beautiful, lovely, dummy (lovingly)
(recently saw a few posts abt clarisse saying mama/mamas i may be swayed)
dates she takes you on:
forces you to train w her even if you don’t like it but she lets you win OBVIIIII, under the stars in the woods, take your dinners to go and sneak back to either hers or your cabin to eat together, secret makeout sessions in the bathroom her cabin your cabin anywhere she can get her hands on you
this is so random but i get horrible migraines and i am ADDICTED to these like headache relief frequency sounds on youtube i swear they work and i was like omg you can’t have electronics at chb I WOULD NOT SURVIVE
so if you are a real one like me and get horrible migraines but this goes for being sick in general she’s like a little puppy pretending to be a wolf barely holding it together
she’ll be like at the foot of your bed begging you not to go into the light while shouting at someone at the same time to refill your water
you like have a cold
she would rub your temples if you had a headache and she would literally be like a doll for you to move around like oh you wanna lay on her chest? by all means
you wanna lay upside down with your feet in her face? as long as you get better you can do whatever you want!
you don’t wanna touch her at all? that’s where she draws the line
you’ll be like “ugh i’m hot get away from me”
“okay ☹️☹️”
“why are you touching my feet with your feet”
she places you above everyone else
like yeah other people are ok…….
but you 😍😍😍😍😍😍
this is slightly cringe but she would fr burn the whole world down and not let a flame touch you
LIKE HAVE YALL SEEN THE ANONS IVE BEEN POSTING AND THE CAPTURE THE FLAG THINGS 😱😱😱😱 (y’all always check my blog im always posting the funniest shit bc i’m funny)
“you’re one opposite teams blah blah blah you get hurt clarisse drops EVERYTHING to help you even if just a paper cut” (i have no chill fic coming soon)
THEN THEN the other one that was like “ok but what if you ACTUALLY get hurt like broken leg”
clarisse just goes crazy when you’re hurt
in so it goes: “what if that cut gets infected?”
you’re her WORLD she literally can’t stand the thought or something happening to you or else she starts literally shaking in anger and sadness
but when clarisse gets hurt it’s a whole other story
LIKE FUCK YOU JUST WANNA CARE ABOUT HER AND SHES ALL LIKE “it’s chill.”
NO ITS NOT YOURE GONNA BLEED OUT 😭😭
clarisse never let’s anyone but you see her true emotions
like yeah when you’re in public and you’re being cutesy she starts smiling and everyone is SO confused
but still
she never lets anyone see her as WEAK
so she always downplays her injuries in terms of how much they hurt, but flaunts them off proudly at the same time?? yeah that makes sense
after a capture the flag game you march her to the bathroom with a first aid kit “ok baby take off your shirt”
she always makes some flirty comment like SHUSH NOT RN
then she has all these bruises and every once in a while a cut from someone’s sword
you’re like 😔😔💔
you’re the only one she will let clean her up
unless she like breaks a bone or needs stitches (which has never happened) no way in hell she’s going to the healers
if you’re a child of apollo or smth she’s like “i literally have my own person healer right here…..”
anyways i think that’s all but i will probably be updating this when i think of more stuff bc as we know i have no chill
thank you all sm for reading and reblogging and liking and commenting and sending all of your WONDERFUL asks they make me so happy i’m always giggling when i get one
anyways bye bye 😘
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme
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relaxxattack · 5 months
Text
okay because of the differing opinions on @calware's post i had to go and check for myself. after all, we've all heard info passed down the fanon grapevine over the years. so, here it is:
is dave strider right or left handed?
obviously, this being homestuck, character sprites flip like every half a second, so i'm trying to take that into account here. alright, let's plow through an entire comic's worth of dave panels.
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in his very first appearance, dave uses a katana from his wall to slash through his name command left-handedly.
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he proceeds to use his left hand for many actions he takes in his apartment, including typing.
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he then uses his right hand to fistbump cal, open the attic, pick up a sword, and escape the puppet pile. his computer is also set up for his right hand.
so already we've got a lot of switching going on, as to be expected with homestuck. i'm going to just try and focus on "main" shots now and not minute sprite details, since those seem to switch constantly.
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dave climbs the staircase after picking up the sword with his right hand. however, when beginning the strife with bro he switches it to his left.
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during that fight his sprite (and dominant hand) flips many times. while he is laying on the floor beaten he texts john with his right. once he gets up, he resumes typing with his left. [EDIT: he pretty much always uses his left hand when texting; there are very few panels where this sprite is flipped.]
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during the [s] enter, dave is famously seen drawing a sbahj panel with his mouse right-handedly. he does this again talking to tavros later. his computer setup seems pretty consistent in this way.
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during [s] accelerate, dave flips his sword between hands multiple times both in sprite and hero mode.
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then, for no apparent reason except for that he probably hates me and wants me to suffer, dave switches his main hand back and forth repeatedly for the entire rest of the comic.
he frequently carries his sword in his right hand, except for stray panels where, when actually using the sword, he favors his left (panels 5 and 8 above). however, this isn’t a case of him only carrying with his right and then using his left to actually wield— because as you can see in panel 9 above, he also uses it right-handedly.
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he uses his left hand during the entire fight with jade and bec, but then, switches back to his right during cascade.
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during meteorstuck he seems to use his right hand for most activities, including drawing and writing, except for the penis ouija scene, in which he uses his left.
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he takes all his selfies with his right hand, then confronts jade with his left hand. his watch is also positioned on his left wrist, which is traditionally an indicator of right-handedness; and he holds his sword in his right again as he absconds.
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during the dogfight he makes most of his attacks with his right hand, and switches to his left to parry bec. when he dies in game over, he's holding his sword in his left.
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he's using his right hand in essentially all of the non-sprite shots in collide, except for this last big red one.
that's all i've got.
conclusion: ????
in all honesty, he seems to switch between either hand frequently enough that you could make an argument for almost anything. hooray, everyone's headcanons are valid!
though i will say that he definitely uses his right hand more frequently in panels. if you only count panels where he's actually using his sword, it's closer to an even split, but i'd still tentatively say that he favors right more often than not.
the widespread fanon concept that he canonically only uses his right hand while drawing and otherwise uses his left, is unfortunately mostly cheryypicked in terms on panels. but that's not to say it's necessarily wrong. there's too little consistency in the art to definitely call it false
considering he's been seen both writing and swordfighting with his left, you can headcanon whatever the fuck you want! (and let's be honest, he has leftie vibes).
that's all! hopefully this helps someone. this took way too long to do help
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seravphs · 10 months
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ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — TEEN DAD! GOJO SATORU x FEM READER
The Zenins want Megumi. Gojo isn’t having it.
wc — 1.7k
tags — one suggestive line after “those girls are better off without you” if you want to avoid it, set after 棠, part of teen dad gojoverse, in which you and Gojo raise Megumi together
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Gojo’s been in the doghouse since last night. Not literally, obviously - though he might have preferred it if you were there with him, at least. He’d take anything over being kicked out of your shared bedroom and being forced to sleep on the couch. 
If you had it your way, you’d prolong his punishment, but you can’t. Not when, as he told you last night, the Zenins are coming today to wrest Megumi from your custody. 
Fat chance. 
You’d die before you let that happen. 
Gojo’s not too keen on either of those outcomes. For the first time in his life, he’s taking the pacifist’s route and talking it out, though you’re sure his version of talking involves more insults than most people’s. 
He thought about simply having it out with the elders, but it’s not worth it. Not when he has a plan for the future of Jujutsu Society. Not when he has you, Megumi, and Tsumiki. He’s playing the long game. He can’t afford to screw it up now. 
Being a family man really has ruined him. 
Zenin Keiko is a tall woman with a severe black bob and the characteristic Zenin look of perpetual contempt. She’s Naoya’s cousin, alright. 
“Twice-removed,” Gojo whispers to you. “Or illegitimate. Something like that, I can’t remember.” 
“Shut up,” you whisper back out of the corner of your mouth. “She’s going to hear you.” 
Welcoming a Zenin into your home feels like blasphemy, though you suppose Gojo is the closest thing Jujutsu society has to a god. 
Gojo’s unimpressed by her, mostly because he feels like the Zenins are mocking him. It’s not like anyone can take him on, but to send someone who has no battle capabilities feels like an insult.  
Keiko is an auxiliary manager with no cursed technique to speak of besides a weak barrier. It’s a wonder she has the nerve to speak to Gojo. The Zenins truly did not care about her if they sent her as the proxy to undermine your roles as the Fushiguro children’s guardians. In fact, you suspect that’s the precise reason she was chosen - because she’s expendable. 
Keiko, to her credit, shows no sign of fear. 
“I’d like to meet the children, Mr. Gojo. It’ll give me a good grasp of what the situation is.” 
“Hell no,” Gojo outright laughs in her face. “I’m not letting a Zenin near my brats. Your-“
“Gojo.” You squeeze his knee. Cooperate. 
“I’ll go get them,” he says begrudgingly.
The two of you sandwich the children between you on the couch. Tsumiki sits on Gojo’s left. Megumi sits on your right. That way, the two that are most likely to fight are separated. It’s a strategized united front. 
“Megumi, do you like your guardians? Do you like staying here?” 
Megumi looks at you. You smile at him encouragingly - and there Keiko goes, scribbling away in her notebook. She’s probably saying something about how Megumi is so scared of you he won’t answer the question unless you give him permission. 
“Are you sure? Forgive me, but Gojo seems a little…immature for a parent.” 
A direct attack right out of the gates. Gojo objects to this very accurate assessment of his character. 
“He’s fine, I guess,” Megumi says. There’s more scribbling. You’re starting to hate the sound of pen on paper. “I like-“ 
He looks at you. There’s a tiny blush on his cheeks, just the faintest hint of red. More quietly, he says, “It’s fine, cause she takes care of us.” 
Gojo stares at him, slack-jawed. “Are you kidding me? You are one ungrateful brat. Who found you? Who took you in?” 
Tsumiki chimes in, “We like Gojo a lot too! He’s fun.” 
Keiko ignores her completely, focusing on Megumi instead. Your distaste for her grows. 
“Would you say that Gojo has an active role in taking care of you?” 
“Why aren’t you asking Tsumiki anything?” Megumi interrupts. “Her opinion’s important too.” 
Keiko gives him a strained smile. Gojo reaches behind Tsumiki on the couch to ruffle Megumi’s hair. He only tolerates this for five seconds before he shakes his head to get him off. 
“He loves me,” Gojo says. 
“I have Stockholm syndrome,” Megumi says. ‘Help,’ he mouthes. 
“He’s joking,” Tsumiki says nervously.
You’ve given up on making them behave. It’s just not happening. 
Keiko seems to have given up too. Rather than continue prodding Megumi, she turns to Gojo. 
“How often are you home?”
“Basically every day,” Gojo lies. He does try his best, but it’s more like every other day. Such is the fate of the strongest sorcerer. 
“Don’t want my baby all alone, poor little thing.” 
He catches your look and cackles. “No, the other one. My other baby,” and the kiss he presses to your knuckles is so tender it melts your heart. 
Keiko makes an uncomfortable expression. “Please try to stay focused, Mr. Gojo.” 
Megumi gags loudly. Tsumiki pinches his arm to get him to shut up and he yelps. Keiko narrows her eyes and makes another note. 
“I understand how Gojo might take responsibility for the children,” Keiko says, directing her attention to you, “but how did you come into the picture. Are you a girlfriend-“
“Wife,” Gojo interjects. 
Keiko’s entire body does an approximation of what it would look if a human had a screenshot function. 
“Aren’t you children?”
You don’t like Keiko at all, but you respect the balls it takes to talk to Gojo like that. All the Zenins seem to have that death wish of wanting to mouth off to the strongest. Maybe it’s a genetic thing. 
Gojo shrugs. “If I’m old enough for the missions you send me on, I’m old enough to take care of kids, right? How hard can it be?”
You pinch his thigh. “Gojo.” 
“What? It is easy. You just give them a bunch of lollipops and call it a day.” 
Keiko’s writing is now background noise to you. “Are you still doing that? I told you-“
“It’s fine! All kids need sugar to grow. I had a sweet tooth when I was their age.”
“And that’s probably the reason why you still have one now! Except it’s rotting your teeth-“
“It’s not-“
“It is!”
“Don’t be so uptight!”
“How does it look if I’m always saying no to him and you’re always saying yes? It isn’t fair, Satoru. Parenting has to be a team effort.” 
“What are you talking about?” 
“I’m talking about you playing good cop, bad cop with him!” 
“Have you gone insane? We went over this! He likes you more than me! There is no good cop, bad cop when he just takes your side every single time.” 
“Excuse me,” Keiko says. She’s somehow managed to look a complex combination of perplexed, annoyed, and satisfied. “Please take care of your lovers’ tiffs outside of this interview. I will say that this doesn’t seem like an environment particularly conducive to raising children, however.” 
“What do you know?” Gojo says rudely. “The only reason you’re even doing this interview is because I’m letting you.” 
Normally, you would tell him off, but in front of the Zenins? You’re a united front. You place a hand on his forearm and look down your nose at the woman in front of you as best as you can when she’s taller than most people you meet. 
“I think you’ve overstayed your welcome,” you say. 
“You agreed to an interview,” she says. 
“An interview, not an inquisition.”
“You can’t refuse a request from the elders without consequences,” she says, as patiently as she would speak to a child. It’s condescending. 
“Are you threatening my wife?” 
When you look to your side, Gojo’s face is shadowed. His eyes are storm dark and frightening. Keiko can’t hide her visceral reaction. 
She forgets her coat on her way out, she’s in such a hurry to leave. Gojo takes it and disappears. 
While he’s away, you let Megumi and Tsumiki return to their rooms. They’re muttering amongst themselves, but you don’t pry. Children need their space, too. You’ll talk to them about it later. 
He’s back within a minute. 
“What did you do with it?” You’re bracing yourself for the answer. 
“I just sent a message,” he says, as cheerily as if nothing had happened. “Think we passed that?” 
“Gojo, I think that’s the first test you’ve ever failed. Did you see the way she was writing during the last twenty minutes? And Megumi and Tsumiki! Every time they said something, she made a face!” 
Gojo shrugs, still so certain of his place in the hierarchy. One day, the elders will get tired of him throwing his weight around like Jujutsu’s one and only tyrant, but not someday soon if they want to keep their heads. 
“It’s fine,” he says. “I’m not going to make Megumi and Tsumiki act like repressed little puppet children just so that they can find some way to snipe them out from under us anyways. Who knows, maybe we’ll teach the Zenins a thing or two about healthy child raising. I hear they have two girls now. One of them has no cursed energy. Should we kidnap some more children?” 
“Like you know anything about healthy parenting,” you snark. “Those girls are better off without you.” 
“Does being mean to me get you off or something?” 
“Do you want to find out?” 
“I would love to,” he purrs, sliding a hand under your shirt just so slightly so his nails prick at your lower stomach. You grab his wrist. 
“Sorry,” you say, your stomach churning at the joke gone wrong. “I can’t.”
He stops immediately. “What’s wrong?” 
“I just- They want Megumi badly enough to go to the higher ups. I know what they do to their children. I can’t let him go there, Satoru. I can’t.” 
“I won’t let that happen.”
“I can’t stop thinking about those girls.”
“Come here,” he says. 
You lean closer to him. He lifts his arm so easily, without thinking. When you slide under it, you fit into him perfectly. 
Now that you’re safely tucked under his arm, you feel sheltered from anything that could happen.  “I don’t want to give the kids to the Zenins. They’re monsters. And they would make monsters out of them.” 
“That’s only if they take them away,” Gojo says, his smile fanged and vicious. 
“And if they do?”
“I hope they try.”
You trust him. 
You know he’ll keep his word. If Gojo says Megumi and Tsumiki won’t be going to the Zenins as long as he’s alive, then they won’t be going at all. 
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drysdalesworld · 4 months
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ducks, ducks, ducks
jamie drysdale x fem!hughes!reader
social media au set before injury & trade! (still salty about it)
y/n.hughes just posted!
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liked by adamfantilli, uoregon, yourbestie, and more
y/n.hughes: ducks, ducks, ducks 🦆
tagged: yourbestie, anaheimducks, uoregon
( loading comments! )
yourbestie: ducks!!
userone: the best duck there is
usertwo: fr!
userthree: who? jamie or y/n?
userone: y/n 100% userthree
trevorzegras: i’m still petty over the fact that you didn’t hug me first
y/n.hughes: i would’ve if you didn’t take forever to leave the locker room
jamie.drysdale: you were too slow z
trevorzegras: ☹️
userfour: trev being petty over the fact that he wasn’t one of the first people to hug y/n after the game has me ROLLING 😭
userfive: fr!! i love how jokingly possessive he is over the hughes siblings. it’s too funny
usersix: esp over jack and y/n. it’s hilarious 😂
yourroommate: how much sleep did you get this weekend?
y/n.hughes: none ☺️
yourroommate: babes
yourbestie: she literally brought her suitcase to the party so she could immediately go straight to the airport afterwards
userseven: stop!! that’s so cute!!
y/n.hughes: worth it tho
jamie.drysdale: loved having you at my game baby 🤍
jackhughes: is that why you ignored my facetime earlier 🥲
y/n.hughes: yes. i had other priorities
jackhughes: wow. so your older brother isn’t a priority? i see how it is 😒
y/n.hughes: dramatic ass
jackhughes: i’m telling mom!
usereight: y/n knows where her priorities lie lol
_quinnhughes: hope you had fun sis!
y/n.hughes: i did! thank you quinny <33
lhughes_06: take notes jackhughes
jackhughes: i’m being attacked at all sides aren’t i
colecaufield: when are you going to visit 😖
y/n.hughes: bake me your moms homemade cookies and then we’ll talk
colecaufield: done ✅
anaheimducks: the best duck we know!
markestapa: visit us next!!
tyler_duke5: on my knees begging
alexturcotte: hope oregon’s treating you well girl hughes!!
y/n.hughes just posted!
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liked by trevorzegras, rutgermcgroarty, and more
y/n.hughes: why do i have to be such a studious gf that’s pursuing her college degree and not a stay at home gf 😫
tagged: jamie.drysdale
( loading comments ! )
trevorzegras: just drop out. problem solved
userone: that’s not
jackhughes: are you encouraging my sister to drop out of college z 🤨
trevorzegras: just saying j. it’s an easy fix
lhughes_06: that’s what you get for double majoring in english and communications with a minor in political science girlie
usertwo: did luke just refer to his sister as girlie?
userthree: yes, yes he did
y/n.hughes: at least i’ll have a degree in my name & not just on the back of a jersey
trevorzegras: DAYUMM BABY HUGHES YOU JUST GOT BURNED
y/n.hughes: same goes for you trev
userfour: oop
jamie.drysdale: because you’re a smart and hardworking girl baby ☺️
y/n.hughes: awww jimmy!! i love you so much ❤️❤️
userfive: are we just going to brush over the fact that y/n is a double major with a minor?? babes is getting NO sleep
y/n.hughes: ZERO
y/n.hughes: sleep is for the weak!
usersix: praying for your health & sanity bbg
userfive: get some sleep girl!! it’s important for your health!
yourbestie: get that degree babes!! be the most studious wag ever!!
yourroommate: FRFR
anaheimducks: getting the jack ready rn
luca.fantilli: the smartest hughes
lhughes_06: offense taken
y/n.hughes: thank you luca <3 speaking the truth fr
rutgermcgroarty: speaking of the smart hughes, can you help me with my essay y/n.hughes 😖
y/n.hughes: ofc rut! i’ll call you at 9
rutgermcgroarty: bless thank you 🙏
elhughes: so proud of you baby 💚💚
y/n.hughes: thank you mama!! i love you so much 🤍
jackhughes: the smartest sister i have
_quinnhughes: she’s the only sister you have idiot
jackhughes: okay and ???
userseven: the pic of jamie tying her shoe 😭😭
masonmctavish23: the most studious person i know!
trevorzegras: idk why but i feel offended
y/n.hughes: babes, we all know you practically have an iq of a grape
jackhughes: she isn’t wrong z 😂
y/n.hughes just posted to their story!
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caption: last date night with lover boy until thanksgiving break jamie.drysdale :(
trevorzegras replied!
finally! i no longer have to deal with you and jimbo’s lovey dovey grossness 🤢
jk! love you 🫶🏼 you make jimmy more tolerable
jamie.drysdale replied!
i’m going to miss you baby! :( study hard & take care of yourself lovey 🤍
lhughes_06 replied!
since when were you NOT coming home for turkey break??! 🤨
424 notes · View notes
wonbriiize · 6 months
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a snowy day with riize
how the members would act if they were to go out with you while it’s snowing…
⊹ ࣪ ˖ shotaro ⊹ ࣪ ˖
the second the two of you step foot outside, he grabs after your hand to hold it. in his mind, that’s his way to convert his inner warmth to you so you don’t feel so cold. sometimes he would playfully act like he’s going to throw snow at you but when he sees you glaring at him, he would stop right away and go back to holding your hand. also, you two would make lots of these cute ‘couple dancing in the snow’ tiktoks.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ eunseok ⊹ ࣪ ˖
he did not want to go out at all, but when he sees your smile while you play in the snow he can’t deny that it was worth going out (everything is worth it as long as you smile). while walking in the snow, eunseok and you see a lot of footprints and you guys would try to guess from which animals they are. and whenever no one is around, eunseok swiftly turns you to him to give you a kiss.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ sungchan ⊹ ࣪ ˖
the two of you would go to a snowed up playground and basically have a snowball war there. at some point, you would be hiding behind the slide and sungchan would come out of nowhere to attack you, but when he sees you laughing so much because you’re having lots of fun, he’d drop the snowball that was in his hand and kiss you instead. all the coldness that the two of you would feel (because of playing in the snow) would be gone in an instant.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ wonbin ⊹ ࣪ ˖
just like eunseok, wonbin would have rather stayed at home. he likes to spend snowy days all cuddled up with you in his bed, while watching a movie. so when you forced him to go on a walk with you, he wasn’t feeling it at first. but after being outside for a few minutes, walking through the park and watching the snow fall while holding your hand, he starts thinking that this isn’t so bad after all. sometimes, he would randomly make you do spins and dance with you underneath the street lights.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ seunghan ⊹ ࣪ ˖
seunghan would want you two to wear matching beanies and he’d have the biggest smile on his face after you’d agree to do it. when you’re outside, he’d draw hearts into the snow. maybe even his name + yours. he would take your hand and put it in his pocket. and whenever you’d try to pull your hand out, he’d just pull you even closer to him, not letting you go.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ sohee ⊹ ࣪ ˖
sohee would have random outbursts of singing. especially ‘love is an open door’ because the winter time reminds him of ‘frozen’. he would jump around in the snow and make you sing along with him. at the end of the song, he’d walk over to you and give you a kiss. then the two of you would proceed to decide which song you should sing next.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ anton ⊹ ࣪ ˖
you are determined to build a snowman that is taller than anton and he teases you, saying that you won’t be able to do it. at first, he watches you try but when he sees you struggling he stands up right away to help you. when the two of you finish building the snowman after hours, anton steps next to it to compare the height (obviously anton is taller). he thinks it’s so cute how hard you tried. when he sees that you’re disappointed, he runs back to you, kisses you on the forehead and hugs you afterwards.
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hockeybabe · 5 months
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Shoot Your Shot | M. Knies
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Not my gif
Pairings: Matthew Knies x f!reader
Summary: Matthew has had a crush on you and just can’t refuse you.
Warnings: slight smut, Matthew can’t resist his crush, fingering, swearing, dirty talk, praising, finger sucking?
Word count: 1.5k
Note: ngl after I saw this gif, I knew I had to write smth for it. Also I went to a leaf game!!!! I GOT TO SEE CAPTAIN QUINN!
“Just come to the game.” You heard for the third time this day. You worked at a local coffee shop that wasn’t far from Scotiabank Arena, where the Leafs played. Your most regular customer, Matthew Knies, was always asking you to come to his game. You were a hockey fan but never went to games, thanks to your boss.
“That’s really nice, Matt, but I’m working.” You said, cupping the lid of a drink. Matthew groaned, leaning his arms against the counter, and walked away to find a booth. You called the name on the receipt, handing the person their drink. “Sally, I’m on break.” You told your co-worker as you put your apron up on the hook.
“You can’t be mad at me.” You said, walking up to the booth and taking a seat right across from him, folding your hands over the other. “I’m not.” He grumbled, not looking at you. You rolled your eyes. “Look at me.” You ordered him, and he did so reluctantly. “I’ll be watching from there.” You pointed at the TV that was displayed in the corner of the shop.
“It’s not the same, Y/N. I’ve wanted you to go forever. Just ask your boss.” He begs. You knew Matthew’s name had popularity, and your boss would never believe you if he weren’t there in person. "Look, I try all the time. It’s not worth it.” You said getting frustrated and walked away to start your shift again.
Matthew always had a soft spot for you and couldn’t stand to see you upset, especially at him. What he didn’t tell you was that he already talked to your boss and got you a ticket to the game right at the glass. But now he was scared you wouldn’t show when he went for pre-skate, and it would crush him.
Matthew looked down at the watch on his wrist, noticing he had to make his way to the rink. “I’ll see you y/n.” He said leaving money along with the ticket to the game. You watched him leave as a soft sigh left your lips. Liking Matthew wasn’t something you wanted, but you couldn’t help it. You knew he liked you, but being with a hockey player isn’t the easiest thing to do.
You had seen some hockey players girlfriends get attacked on Instagram for being in love, but you couldn’t deny the honest attraction you had for Matthew. He was everything you ever wanted in a guy. You walked over to the booth he was at and picked up his cup, noticing the money along with a strip of paper with the leafs logo on it.
You put the cash and paper in your apron pocket before putting the mug in the dish area. You walked over to Sally and leaned against the counter, noticing Matthew had left you a ticket to tonight’s game against Vancouver. “What’s that, y/n/n?” Sally asked. You lifted the ticket up and showed her. “Someone’s got a crush.” You heard it from behind.
You turned around and saw your boss with her arms crossed. You sucked in a breath and said, "It doesn’t matter. I’ve got work.” You said it in a low voice, not wanting to piss your boss off. “Y/n, go to the game. I already talked to the boy and the rest of his team. I’ll tell you they’re persistent.” Your mouth fell slightly at her words. “They were here?” You asked. “Oh yeah, all of them. All because that one rookie likes you.”
You couldn’t help but smile. “You are going, right?” Your boss asked, walking closer. “I’m mean, yeah, but who’s going to run-" “It’ll be closed for the night.” Your boss cut you off. Another thing your boss shocked you with was that she never closed the cafe unless something was wrong in her life. Whatever the team said to her, it must’ve changed her.
“Well, um, I got to go then.” You said untying your apron and grabbing your personal belongings. “Oh, you almost forgot this.” Your boss said handing you a jersey with the name Knies stitched on the back along with his number. “Now go.” Sally said pushing you to the door. You laughed at them, quickly placed the jersey over your clothes, and headed to the rink.
“Miss y/l/n?” Someone said to you. “Yeah,” you answered. “Please come with me. Mr. Knies asked for me to take you to your spot.” Your brows furrowed in confusion as you followed him. You were walked all the way to a room with a TV with the game on, a bar, couches, and women.
“Y/n, right?” You were greeted by a blonde. You nodded slowly. “Steph, Mitch’s wife.” Your eyes widened in realization. You were in a room with the players girlfriends and wives. “It’s nice to meet you.” You shook her hand as she led you to the balcony to watch the game.
The game was already in motion, and Vancouver had a good offensive game. The Leafs were in the Vancouver zone, and there it was. A Knies goal, you couldn’t help but smile as Matthew pointed up to where you were. “He’s gotta good eye.” Steph says as the others cheer. "Yeah, he does.” Another says. “Aryne.” The woman says. “Matthew lives with me and John.” She says.
You smiled at the woman and continued to watch the game and talk to the other girls. The Leafs ended up winning 5-2. “You’re coming.” Steph said, licking her arm through yours as you made your way to the den and waited for the players.
You felt slightly overwhelmed by the number of people who knew who you were and even by the players coming out and introducing themselves. After John, you watched Matthew stroll out. You felt yourself smiling as your arms crossed over your chest. “Player of the game?” You cocked a brow at his Leafs belt. “Gotta keep it up.” He responded pulling you into a hug.
“We’ll talk about this.” You said this as he pulled you to the parking garage, where his car was. You sat in the passenger seat watching Matthew drive to your apartment, and it was something. You knew he was sneaking glances at you with the number of times he clenched his hands on the wheel, turning his knuckles white as you clenched your thighs together.
You get to your apartment, and you watch Matthew contain himself, shuffling his hands in his pockets and letting out deep sighs. Opening the door, you pull Matthew’s arm toward your bedroom. At the edge of the bed, Matthew turned you around and crashed his lips against yours. Matthew pushed you onto the bed, looming over you.
“Hi beautiful.” He said trailing his finger along your collarbone. You felt a blush rise on your cheeks. “I like your jersey.” He said it with a casual smirk. “I think I like it too.” You responded biting your lip slightly. The tension floated around you two for a while before you grabbed the collar of his shirt and teased him, thinking you would kiss him, but instead you kissed the corner of his mouth.
Matthew bunched up your jersey before kissing you. His hands trailed to your tits as he pinched your nipples and massaged your boobs. You moaned into his mouth, giving his tongue access. You both fought for dominance, with him eventually winning. Matthew trailed kisses to your neck, finding the sweet spot, while he slowly peeled your top layers off and unclasped your bra.
Feeling antsy, you moved your hands down Matthew’s body, putting your semi-cold hands under his shirt and feeling his body. “Fuck.” He hissed into your ear, feeling the coolness of your hands. You whimpered as Matthew grinded into your core. “Off.” You moaned as he kissed down the valley of your breasts to your pant line.
Matthew sat up on his knees, peeling off his shirt, while you admired from below, biting your lip. You started to peel off the rest of your clothes with the help of Matthew until you were both completely bare. Matthew trailed kisses along your things as his finger traced your folds. Your back arched at his touch, and he used his other hand to force your hips down.
“Such a pretty girl.” He mumbled, thrusting one finger in as you moaned. Matthew continued to thrust his finger while using his thumb to play with your clit. “More.” You begged in a muffled voice. Matthew instantly responded, adding a second finger and increasing his pace. You thrashed in your position, using your hands to grip the sheets. “That’s it princess. Let go. Come for me.” You let out a whimper as you fell apart on his fingers.
Matthew trailed his fingers up your body to your lips as you sucked the juices off his fingers. “Jesus baby. You’re so hot.” He smiled while lifting you up, allowing you to straddle him. “You’re hotter.” You said smiling back before kissing him.
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rogueddie · 4 months
Text
Disabled Steve / Eddie Fics
Important: READ THE TAGS! Also, leave a comment and kudos! These fics are amazing and I love them and I hope y'all do too 🦻
give me a sign
findmeinthewychelm
It was sweet torture the way Steve was pining over him. Robin was sick of listening to him talk about Eddie, but she also hadn’t stopped him yet.
Words : 4,235 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : General Audiences
AO3 : x
what would you trade the pain for (i'm not sure)
Library_of_Gage
Steve doesn't bother anyone with his chronic pain; it's something he'd rather keep to himself. And then it spikes in the Upside Down, in front of Eddie Munson, and Steve slowly starts to learn that, sometimes, sharing what hurts does help.
Words : 8,230 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences
AO3 : x
Our Love is Shown in the Letting Go
Xxbottlecapxx
Steve’s mother comes home and has to deal with the fact that she has no idea who her son is, and maybe never will.
Words : 10,189 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Not Rated
AO3 : x
Who Am I to Say What Any of This Means?
IndigoFudge
Eddie’s eyebrows are raised. He’s speaking deliberately. “My first grade teacher set up a meeting with Wayne and told him she thought I had autism. So Wayne took me to the doctors and it turned out she was right.”
He is still looking at Steve. Oh. Steve’s been staring at him like an idiot for forty seconds instead of acknowledging this important, incredibly personal detail that he has just shared. Steve remembers eye contact––one, two, three––then answers. “That’s cool.”
“Steve,” Eddie says, carefully. “Have you ever been tested? Because I’ve been noticing… When I look at you, I kinda see some signs.”
Words : 7,371 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences
AO3 : x
she'll know me crazy, soothe me daily (better yet, she wouldn't care)
jewishrat420
Eddie doesn’t really cry about this anymore. He’s long since shed his own personal tears of pity, spent enough time mourning a different life. He’s accepted it, for the most part, doesn’t really give a shit about being normal or whatever. No one’s normal.
But this…Eddie’s not used to this. He’s never had someone hold his face in their hands, look him dead in the eyes and say, “Eddie Munson. For better or for worse, and fuck, I know this is worse, I want to know you.”
Words : 3,988 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences
AO3 : x
the beginning of a bad joke
alligator_writes
At the beginning of his rant, lecture, whatever, Hottie stares right at him. He has a really intense stare. Pretty brown eyes set in a prettier face with even prettier hair on top of his head. Eddie gets distracted by all that pretty and by trying to make his point.
And he doesn’t notice until halfway through that Hottie isn’t looking at him anymore. He’s looking at his friend.
Eddie looks at her, too. Looks at her confused and focused expression. Looks at her hands moving rapidly.
Oh. G-d.
Hottie’s deaf, isn’t he?
Words : 7,083 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences
AO3 : x
I Took The Good Times, I’ll Take The Bad Times (I Take You Just The Way You Are)
steddieeddie
In 1984, Eddie Munson told Steve he was going to marry him one day laying in the quiet confines of Steve’s room.
In 1985, they broke up. It wasn’t because they wanted to, but because Steve thought they had to. They spent almost an entire year apart, hurting, wondering about what could have been.
In 1986, Steve Harrington was almost fatally injured in the final attack against The Upside Down, against Vecna. He spent seventy six days comatose, and then almost an entire year in the hospital learning how to be a person again. He learns how to open and close his hands, hold things, and how to feed himself again. Steve learns how to stand, how to walk, going from walker to cane by the time he is allowed to go home.
In 1987, he did just that. He goes home.
It was a slow process. Way slower than Steve wanted it to be, but it was worth it.
Sure, his hands were never going to work the same, there was constant pain in his arms and left leg, and he would never walk without a cane, but at least he’s alive.
He made it.
That was what mattered.
Words : 30,101 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Mature
AO3 : x
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mamayan · 6 months
Note
Ok but like…we NEED a genya one shot where he eats out reader…or a dominant jealous one👀 ((if your still doing requests ofc no pressure)) go crazy with either one, have fun!✨
I can completely see Genya going a little feral eating pussy for the first time—
★彡Time Out ☆彡
Genya Shinazugawa x Fem! Reader
cw: First time oral (F) • NSFW • Feral Genya lol • Overstimulation • Face Riding • Praise • Body Worship (¿)
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He didn’t have many expectations when it came to intimacy with you.
He was entirely happy to simply bask in your presence, to see your smile, to receive your love. Intimacy came in many forms, like when you slipped your warm fingers into his hand and entwined them with his own. Genya adored just being by your side, and when he received physical tokens of your love in the form of hugs and gentle kisses, it was difficult not to melt into a puddle for you.
While he knows his appearance can make him seem unapproachable, but you have a way about you that seems to tame him. He’s not brash in your presence, humble instead and showing of every courtesy and respect. He follows your lead, because it’s the most natural for him.
He truly had no expectations, nothing to compare or contrast with in his memories.
So when he tastes your pussy for the time? It’s like nothing makes sense anymore.
“How the fuck—?” He’s left in utter awe because you’re so soft and damn warm it makes him light headed. “Y-you’re so hot,” he’s mumbling and moaning as he licks up your molten center with his tongue again. “Fuck—sweet too,” he never imagined or expected tasting you on his lips would be so magical.
And when you respond?
He loses it. Hearing you moan, a noise deeper and more breathy than he’s ever heard from you before it makes his cock jump in his pants. He’s devouring you, messy licks and sucks, tongue swiping all over your pussy. He’s slithering the wet appendage inside the tight confines of your pussy too, pushing past the ring of muscle and letting the tip of it graze your gooey walls. When you cry and writhe under his attention, pulling on his mohawk and grinding more of your sweet cunt across his face?
He decides this isn’t enough and promptly puts to use his hard earned muscles, hands slipping around your thighs and slipping you both.
He less asks you to ride his face and more makes his face the most pleasurable option. His fingers dinging into the plush of your hips while he helps anchor all of you down while pushing and pulling you. He’s desperate to taste more, fill his lungs and soul with you, his own hips pathetically swiveling and jerking for friction. It hardly matters that nothing is touching his cock besides his own clothes, because he’s already close to blowing just from his erotic it feels for you to grind your cute puffy clit on his nose while his tongue opens you up to drink from.
He can’t talk with his mouth full, it’s bad manners after all, so instead you fill the space not overtaken by wet squelching and moans with praise.
“Genya, baby it feels so good~”
“You’re so perfect, always making me so happy,”
“Love your tongue, so close—!”
“Oh ‘Nya, m’cuming—,”
The first time you cum on his tongue, he’s quick to follow after. Filling his pants with sticky hot cum which will take him forever to scrub out tomorrow. It’s worth it, because even as you sigh and groan, hips rolling, his tongue switches course after he’s swallowed your release.
He’s attacking your clit with vigor. Loving the wailing noises you release as you’re nearing the edge again so quickly. Soaking his lower face in sweet nectar he refuses to allow to go to waste.
He gets so distracted with tasting your cum it seems to shut his poor brain off.
Even as you beg for mercy, attempt to sit up, he’s unhearing as his mouth follows your sensitive cunt, quick to twist your bodies into a new position. He’s laying across you, his lower half more near your face as he pins you with his weight and feasts.
He’s usually so obedient, but Genya is utterly lost to his new found obsession.
“G-Genya, wait—! Oh~” he’s improving with remarkable speed, acting as if he’s determined to perfect how to devour your pussy in one night. “N-no more baby, oh, no more please~” it’s hard to tell if you truly want him to stop when you grip his head and push him down further, hips bucking for more.
He’s delirious, licking and sucking, making a complete mess of your lower half while he finds heaven between your thighs.
“Time out—!” You’ll finally cry, most recent orgasm feeling too much for real, your trembling figure exhausted despite the manic look in his eyes as he pulls up to check on you.
“I-I’m sorry… it’s just… I need it,” he’s not joking either, his desperate expression serious too.
You set the limit of orgasms from now on, lest he truly spend all night making you cum.
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Post dividers/@cafekitsune
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cozage · 8 months
Note
Hi. How are you? Congratulations! Can I please have an option 1? How about Law, Zoro, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo and Ace (feel free to pick and choose) teaching a s/o (preferably female) how to fight? Like Zoro teaching the reader to sword fight or Sanji teaching his to use black leg. Thank you 💙🤍💙🤍
Omg girlie hey!!! How have you been?!!? Good I hope <3 
Send me an event request!
Characters: gn reader x Ace, Zoro, Sanji, Luffy Total word count: 650
Teaching Moments
Ace
Literally so patient and such a good teacher but works you to the bone. He forgets that you are new at this and he has been training since he was born.
Hand-to-hand combat isn’t necessarily your strong suit, but he figures out you're quite good with a pipe. 
He is also very good at fighting with a pipe (is there anything this man is bad at?!?!)
He won’t pull punches or go easy on you just because he loves you. You will crawl away from your training sessions with bruises and cuts all over your body.
After your sessions, he’ll walk with you to Marco to get healed up, and then he’ll give you a really nice, warm massage to loosen up your muscles. That alone makes your training day worth it. 
You sometimes feel like you’re not making any progress, but when you start fighting people who aren’t Ace, you realize you’re much better than most of them. Fighting the best of the best really has its perks.
Zoro
Zoro is a good teacher…most of the time. 
He gets frustrated easily when you don’t follow instructions, and expects you to come in with basic sword skills, but you don’t have any. 
You have to remind him that not everyone grew up in a dojo, where they learned about swords morning, noon, and night. After he learns that, he takes you back to the beginning, teaching you in a new light. 
He returns to the bamboo stick and the formations, and suddenly he becomes happier, laughing more with you and telling you about his childhood at the dojo. Every skill you learn is paired with a “Well when I was a kid…” story, and it warms your heart. 
He takes you to a store to get your own swords. He definitely believes that you need to pick your own sword. He gives you pointers and advice, but he mostly leaves it up to you. He knows how important of a decision it is, and he won't interfere with fate.
He takes it easy on you. He can skillfully decipher just how much he needs to pressure you to get you to continue to grow.
Zoro doesn't understand much in his life, but he does understand two things: swords and you.
Sanji
Sanji. Bless his heart. He is not a good teacher. 
He goes too easy on you and treats you like you’re too fragile.
It actually begins to put a bit of a strain on your relationship because it feels like he doesn’t think you’re capable of fighting the way he does.
In reality, he just doesn’t think a lady needs to fight. And he certainly doesn’t want to hurt you during training. He can’t hit a lady, even to defend himself.
He wants you to learn, and you know he’s not being rude or malicious, but in order to save your relationship, you end up finding another fighting instructor. 
Instead of fighting, you help him prepare meals. And thankfully, he’s more than happy to let you help him do kitchen prep. 
Luffy
Luffy is…Luffy. 
Your training sessions always start out strong. He’s surprisingly good at giving you pointers (“raise your elbow” or “a right hook would’ve been better than a direct attack right there”)
Sometimes he forgets that not everyone has gum-gum powers. He’ll advise you to fling your body towards your opponents and you’ll just kind of deadpan and wait for him to realize his mistake, which always leads to a fit of giggles from you both. 
Training sessions never last long. You guys always get distracted by someone or something, or you all get hungry or start chasing each other around, laughing and playing another game. 
It’s always fun, you’re just never sure how much you’re actually learning. Sometimes you get irritated and think neither of you are taking it seriously, but Luffy’s way of life is “if it’s not fun, we shouldn’t do it”. 
Little do you realize, he’s actually training you through the games you all play, and the mischief you guys get into. He’s a pretty good teacher overall. 
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loveinhawkins · 9 months
Text
The day before Spring Break ‘84, Eddie has a panic attack so bad he stays locked in a bathroom stall long after the final bell has rung.
And it’s so stupid. It’s not like the whole thing came as a surprise to him: he saw the writing on the wall even back in December, his grades on a continual downward spiral he couldn’t shift.
But he kept on trucking cause he’s still got the mind of a five year old, apparently, hoping against hope that things would just miraculously work out.
Idiot.
He doesn’t have anything worth getting riled up over, no mistreatment to distract him—sure, if it was O’Donnell doing the honours, she might’ve been a little mean about it, but instead he’d been directed to the school receptionist who confirmed the ‘unfortunate news’ with an uninterested if pleasant smile.
She asked if he’d talked to his homeroom teacher about his predicament, and he’d promptly lied through his teeth and said yes, even though he’d rather die than do anything of the sort. Then she went on about his ‘many options’, a prospective timetable for next semester, some forms to fill in, blah, blah, blah.
“Would you want a call home?” she’d said, already reaching for the phone. “We can go through the process with—”
“No, thanks,” Eddie told her quickly. He stuffed the forms into his bag. “I’ve got—I’ll let my uncle know.”
The thought of Wayne having his day off interrupted by such news made him feel nauseous.
Fuck, Wayne. He’ll be waiting for him.
At that realisation, Eddie goes cold then hot then cold again. He stumbles, gets the stall door open eventually, shakes the jittery feeling out of his fingers.
The parking lot’s still busy—students lazily chatting, perched half in, half-out of their cars; all they’ve got to worry about is whether they’re invited to Tina’s or Josh’s or whoever-the-fuck’s—depends on whose parents have unwisely left their house empty for the week.
Eddie’s stayed so long that he’s missed the bus, so he starts the trudge home, grits his teeth at every stab of his boots cutting into his heels—the van isn’t even on his periphery yet, still many months of scraping and saving to go until it’s his.
He’s almost out the school grounds. He crosses the road entirely on autopilot, startles when he realises that he’s had to make a car do an emergency stop.
Steve Harrington waves him on with a tiny little flick of the finger, all breezy, and great, that’s all he fucking needs—Mister Cool being polite to him.
He gives a small nod of thanks before continuing his walk. Keeps his head down, eyes on the sidewalk. Doesn’t bother about whether he steps on any cracks or not; he figures his luck isn’t changing any time soon.
His palms itch. He knows it’s stupid and embarrassingly self-centred of him, but he can’t get rid the thought that everyone’s looking at him, that everyone knows somehow.
Wayne sees him coming from the porch. By the time Eddie reaches him, he’s gone inside and out, re-emerging with a can of cream soda that he cracks open and holds out with one hand.
Eddie can’t take it. He reaches for the contents of his bag, cringing inside at how the papers are already creased, he can’t even manage…
He passes the forms to Wayne. Can’t look him in the eye.
“I’m… I’m so sorry, Uncle Wayne,” he says—and mortifyingly, his throat closes up, and that’s all he can get out.
There’s barely a pause before Wayne says, “Eddie. Can you look at me?” When Eddie does, he clicks his tongue quietly at whatever he must find. “Kid, you’re all right. S’not the end of the world.”
Eddie scoffs. “Damn well feels like it.”
Yup, petulant as fuck too. Why not? Might as well crash and burn.
He at least makes sure to shut the front door as apologetically as he can. There’s one singular plate in the sink that he sets about scrubbing even though it hardly needs it.
He hears Wayne come in; he’s reading still, turning the pages over thoughtfully.
Eddie keeps scrubbing.
Wayne’s probably reading the test results. Eddie doesn’t need to see to know the ones that’ll be lingered on.
He couldn’t even pass English. The one thing that was meant to be in the bag, where he could scrape a C-, and he…
What the fuck’s wrong with him? Where’s the sense in being able to write a good campaign on a whim when he can’t even…
“Eddie.” Wayne passes the cream soda can across the counter. “You keep workin’ at the sink any longer, and m’gonna start thinkin’ you’re ‘bout to give me your last will and testament.”
Eddie chuckles. Scrubs at his eyes and obligingly steps away. He picks up the can—the cold metal soothes the itch trapped in his palm.
Wayne folds the papers neatly, corner to corner.
“I’ll help you fill everything in,” he says, matter-of-fact.
“I’ll, uh. I’ll get a pen.”
But Wayne shakes his head. “Not tonight. We’ve got plans, remember?”
Eddie laughs again. ‘Got plans’, according to Wayne, means watching T.V in comfortable silence, Eddie lounging on the couch; Wayne might occasionally read out a crossword clue he’s stuck on before typically solving it on his own, and Eddie would drop off to sleep early, his last impression that of Wayne treading lightly from his armchair, turning the volume down.
It’s a comforting thought.
But he… he should be…
Wayne gives him a knowing look, waves him over to the couch.
The creak of the refrigerator door opening. Wayne’ll be starting dinner soon. Some sorta pasta, probably: it’s tradition, whenever school ends.
“Hey, Ed.”
Eddie curls up on the couch, knees to his chest. “Mm-hmm?”
“It’s fixable, all right? It ain’t a chore. You know that, right?”
Eddie smiles—he sniffles and doesn’t bother scrubbing at his eyes again when they fill up.
“Yeah, I—I know.”
The words are old, a truth he’s had to be reminded of many times; it started back when the world had ended once before, when Eddie, newly moved into Wayne’s trailer, had stammered, “I-I won’t bother you, Uncle Wayne, I swear, you won’t need to—”
And then he learnt the very first rule of the universe—save for the fact that Wayne would always, always be there to help him.
It ain’t a chore, loving you.
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f1byjessie · 2 months
Text
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.
sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.
( lando norris x photographer!reader )
━━ part ten.
It all happens in a blur.
One moment Lando is hugging you. The firm press of his chest against yours, the grip of his calloused hand on your neck keeping your head tucked into him, and the pounding beat of his heart where your hands are trapped between the two of you. It’s such a familiar feeling— the warmth, safety, and comfort of it all. It’s like coming home.
And then the next moment he's jumping away from you like the touch of your skin against his has left him burned. Like he doesn’t trust himself not to cross the distance again if he stands a step too close—
“Erm,” he rubs at the back of his neck, and avoids your eyes as though the very thought of meeting them is appalling. There's an awkwardness about him that’s never existed before, even back when you were still far from ever calling one another friends. “Sorry. I should've asked first.”
“It's fine,” you answer. It is fine. It's been fine for years now.
You hadn’t been a particularly touchy person when you were younger— a byproduct of growing up in a family that never really cared much about or prioritized physical affection. You used to see other girls at school cling to one another in the halls, or link arms on the way home, or play with each other’s hair at lunch and it hadn’t bothered you that you didn’t have that same level of closeness with any of them, but it had confused you that friends could be so touchy-feely when your own parents seemed reluctant to spare even a pat on the shoulder.
Lando changed that.
Lando’s changed a lot of things, you’re realizing.
He grew up with three siblings and they bicker constantly, but they also have the easy closeness that you’ve always found so vastly different from your own friendships. They could be calling one another every name under the sun and then a few that you’re pretty sure they made up, and at the same time they’ll be clinging to one another like they can’t bear the thought of standing more than a meter away.
The first time Lando slung his arm over your shoulder, you’d nearly had a heart attack.
And then he just kept doing it.
By the time you realized that his hugging and draping and clinging had become a new norm for you, he was practically attached to your hip already and you didn't have the heart to question why he'd decided to bestow his physical affections upon you of all people.
“You don't have to apologize for stuff like that—”
“I know,” he interrupts. “I just—” he shrugs, still avoiding your eyes in favor of staring at a scuff on his shoe, “—didn't know if you still wanted me to.”
The reality is that a single explosive confession of your frustration and a hug doesn’t fix everything. It doesn’t fix anything, in all honesty. You’re still angry and upset and, quite frankly, hurt by what Lando had said and the way he’d treated you, but it feels like a step in the right direction.
“Garrett Ward,” Lando starts hesitantly, sparing you a fleeting glance at the mention of your fake boyfriend’s name, like he’s assessing your reaction, “blackmailed you into your relationship?”
You nod. A month ago, getting to talk about all of this was all you ever wanted and, in the heat of the moment, it had felt good to just blurt it all out and get it off your chest. The relief of someone else knowing— someone like Lando, who knows your ins and outs like he’s charted the map of your very being— isn’t erased now that you’ve had a moment to calm down, but it’s been overshadowed by a fluttery feeling of nervousness.
“He threatened to completely destroy my career,” you tell him again. “He said he’d make up a rumor about misconduct, and there’s enough people that would believe him. He has a very… devoted fanbase, as I’m sure you’re already aware.”
Lando’s drunken words return to you. Nobody in their right mind would soberly agree to be Garrett Ward’s girlfriend, and what does that say about you? Extenuating circumstances or not, if you were smarter like Lando said he thought you were, you probably would’ve been able to find a way out of it by now, or you would’ve been able to completely avoid getting tangled up in it entirely.
You think back to all the moments Jack had offered to unite the other City players who were supposedly more than willing to back up your claims that nothing unprofessional or inappropriate at all had happened while you were working at Etihad Campus and with the team.
At the time, the idea of actually standing up against him had scared you. You were too stubborn and proud to admit it, but Garrett Ward scared you— still scares you. His fans were still on their vitriolic rampage of hate, filling your comments and DMs with insults against your appearance, your career, and every other imaginable aspect of your being. You’d been forced to sort through death threats, wishes of harm, and instructions to kill yourself and the idea of it being in any way worse than it already was— the idea of exposing yourself to the judgement of so many others, others who would potentially side with a footballer they find mildly entertaining over a random girl whose only claim to fame is a few viral photographs for a motorsports team— had been overwhelming.
The night you sobbed in bed thinking about it all was the night you turned the comments off.
But, had you taken Jack up on his deal immediately, then maybe it would’ve been soon enough to also argue against anything else having “happened” in the time you’ve since spent alone with Garrett out and about on your scheduled excursions for the paparazzi.
Garrett Ward is a smart man, though he shows it so rarely in a capacity that’s actually beneficial to anyone or anything that doesn’t pertain to him. The threats he made on that night in early January about misconduct aren’t as fool-proof when you’d have a team of other players corroborating a completely different story to his. But there are other things he could say now that are harder to argue against without it all turning into a muddled he-said-she-said clusterfuck.
Being back around racing cars and their drivers has been a good distraction for a time, but you dread the day when he turns those new threats against you and asks for more than you’ve already agreed to give him for his scheme.
Lando winces, probably also remembering his words, or at the very least whatever recount Daniel gave him if he was too drunk to remember it all clearly.
“Can’t you dispute his claim?” He finally looks at you again. “Does he even have any evidence?”
You frown, “It’d be his word against mine, unless he doctored evidence to use against me. But it’s not as simple as just saying he’s lying. He’s an athlete, you know how much sway someone like Garrett has. Even if he can’t prove anything, the hit to my reputation would be enough to ensure I’m never able to find a photography gig again, let alone another in the sports industry.”
You imagine that no matter what you do now, your at Garrett’s whim and have no choice but to adhere to the schedule he wants to follow.
You tell Lando as much. “I just have to wait it out.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a PR thing,” you say with a shrug. It’s your turn to look away now, awkwardly tracing the cracks in the pavement beneath your shoes. “He’s only with me to prove he can hold down a steady relationship and fix his reputation. He’ll end it eventually.”
You’re still pretending to be enraptured with an odd spot on the ground, so you hear more than see Lando take a break, like he’s preparing to speak again—
“Session’s resuming in ten, Lando,” comes another voice instead.
Oscar has the decency to look a bit regretful at interrupting the two of you, probably because it’s the first time in weeks that you’ve both tolerated being so physically close and he’s tired of the angst and tension that permeates when you’re both confined to the same general location as one another. Either of you could’ve just as easily taken to standing as far away from each other as you could, and though it would’ve been awkward, it wouldn’t have been very hard to pass the time in total silence. Oscar’s probably just glad you both can at least still hold a civil conversation without wanting to tear each other apart, which makes you wonder whether the earlier shouting had actually managed to go unnoticed beneath the busy sounds of the garage.
Lando nods. He spares you one final glance, that you meet for a fleeting second, before he disappears through the door.
Oscar lingers. He’s watching you with those all-knowing eyes of his.
“What?” You ask.
He shrugs, but his stare is expectant.
“I told him,” you say in place of his continued silence. “About the whole Garrett situation.”
“And?”
You grind the toe of your shoe against the pavement, stalling. Oscar isn’t scheduled to drive until the afternoon session, which means he doesn’t have anywhere to be, but a part of you wonders if you could bore him enough with your own silence that it would make him wander off back to the garage in search of something to do.
Except this is Oscar you’re talking about it, and he could probably exist in total silence with someone for days if he really wanted to—probably wouldn’t even need to try.
You bite the bullet and lower yourself down to the ground, beckoning for him to do the same beside you with a wave of your hand.
“I’m realizing that I don’t actually know how to read him as well as I thought I did,” you admit when he joins you. “He was my best friend— is still my best friend, and I thought I knew everything about him, but now I feel like I never really knew him at all.”
Oscar hums, “I think you do know Lando, better than a lot of other people can say. You’re just realizing that he’s good at hiding things when he wants to. Just think about it, he’s never had a reason to hide anything from you, so of course it would be easy to read him when he’s always letting you. He’s practically an open book for you, Y/N.”
“So I fucked up our friendship by holding him accountable for his actions and now he’s never going to be open with me ever again.” You run a hand through your hair and let your fingers tangle in the wind-strewn strands, letting the sparks of pain keep you from spiralling at the thought of having ruined the most important relationship you’ve ever had.
Oscar snorts, “That’s not at all what I was going to say.”
“Yeah, well—” you elbow him teasingly in the ribs, “—you’re a freak of nature, so forgive me for not understanding how your freakish brain works either.”
“What I was going to say, is that it’s a setback at worst. You keep talking about it like having an argument isn’t completely normal behavior for friends. Me and Logan used to fight a lot, back in our Prema days especially. But you’d never be able to guess it by looking at us now. I mean, my parents keep a picture of him on our family fridge, so…” Oscar stifles a laugh when you lift an questioning eyebrow at him.
“My point is,” he continues, “just keep talking with him. Give it time, and things will get better again. But if you want my honest opinion, I think Lando’s just realized that he overstepped and did something to hurt you, and because he doesn’t want to do it again, he’s trying to make himself smaller, in a way, to minimize the chances. My guess is that he kept his distance as a way of trying not to impede.”
You lean your head back until it thunks against the wall and you’re staring up at the overhang above you and the slivers of blue sky peeking through the slats. “‘Impede,’” you repeat as you do so. “There’s nothing for him to even impede on.”
Oscar makes another sound. “Just because he knows the reality of the situation between you and Ward now doesn’t mean he didn’t spend nearly two months believing otherwise.”
Which— he makes a good point. It’s a really good point, actually, but you don’t like what it does to the butterflies in your stomach. They always used to appear back when you still humored the idea of a blossoming romance being somehow possible between yourself and Lando. Their reemergence isn’t as pleasant as you fantasized about it one day being, so you shove the feeling back down and bury it deep, and Oscar lets you both sit in companionable silence until he’s called back to duty by his race engineer.
The rest of the day goes easily enough.
Lando finishes his allotted time without anymore issues much to the relief of everyone in the garage. When he hops out of the car with a big grin stretched across his face, there’s a collective sigh of relief given by the engineers and mechanics alike.
You note that, despite the cheerful smile, there’s still the underlying exhaustion that seems to be dragging him down. The dark circles are hidden only slightly better when his eyes are squinted with the force of his grin, and the sickly palor of his skin has only been covered temporarily by the red flush of his cheeks brought on by the combined heat of the car and Bahrain’s midday sun. Despite the energy he exudes, bouncing around as he debriefs with his race engineer, his shoulders are sagging beneath the weight of an invisible force that worries you.
You’d be a liar if you said you weren’t still frustrated. Lando knows the gist of the situation. There’s a lot of finer points that he’d need to be filled in on if you wanted to talk about it with him in the same way that you discuss it with Jack, but he at least knows the story. Even still, he hasn’t apologized for his part in any of it— for the pain and distress he caused you when ignoring your calls and texts, for the hurt and shame he made you feel when he tore you apart in his drunken rant.
There is so much you still want to say to him, so many mean things you want to bring up from your worst days hiding in the bathroom at work or your loneliest nights curled up in your flat.
You imagine you’ll have your chance to get it all out there eventually, but as vindicating as it would be to scream and rage and throw the tantrum you believe you are justified to have, you imagine it would feel so much nicer to go back to how things were.
There will be more confrontations and you know that it will have get worse again before it gets better, but in the meantime you can take the win for what it is and celebrate that it’s still something.
And right now, Lando needs you as a friend as much as you need him.
It’s easier said than done, however.
You aren’t avoiding him, exactly, but he’s busy. In the past, you’d make yourself comfortable in whatever space he’s occupying and wait for him to get done, but you’re currently trying to maintain a bit of distance for both of your sake. There isn’t any lingering spite or desire to be away from him— there’s never been a desire to be away from him, if you’re being honest with yourself— but you’ve been able to come to terms with the fact that you really just want to hug him again and keep hugging him, and that might become a problem if you’re not careful. You can’t afford to just rush back into things.
Because the thing this, you might be stubborn and set in your ways, but you know that Lando is such a key part of your life and has been for so long— like a drug that you can’t live without, or rather don’t want to live without— that if given the opportunity to do so, you might unknowingly let everything go and dive head first into your revived friendship too fast just for the small chance of experiencing that normalcy again.
So you keep your distance. You stick on one side of the garage and Lando, after showering and changing out of his fireproofs, is kept on the other with debriefs and technical talk. He glances over a few times and meets your eyes, offers tentatives smiles that seem so much more tame and reluctant than his usual upbeat self, and hovers at the imaginary line separating your side from his, but before he’s ever able to cross over there’s someone else pulling him away to discuss one thing or another.
It’s as you’re making your way to the shuttle from the circuit to the hotel that you finally get your opportunity. Lando’s voice calls your name and stops you in your tracks.
Though Oscar had driven for the remainder of the day, and there wasn’t much else to worry about on or off the track, he looks even more exhausted in the darkness of the night, with the shadows cast by the streetlamps darkening the bags beneath his eyes and further accentuating his paleness.
He catches up to you quickly, a hesitant smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“Um,” he nervously stutters out, “I know there’s still a lot that we need to talk about and things aren’t completely fine between us yet— and that’s fine,” he hurries to add on, “you deserve to be mad at me. I just—” he cuts himself off and casts his gaze downward to watch his fluttering fingers pick at an already bloodied hangnail. “I’m sorry. You deserve a better apology and I’ll give you one when we’re not stood in a dark carpark, but for now I’m sorry for everything. Most importantly, I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn’t value you as… as a friend.”
He falls quiet, still staring down at the mess he’s made of his cuticle. You gawk at him for a moment in surprise.
“Um,” he starts again when you don’t say anything, shifting restlessly on his feet like he’s contemplating whether to stand his ground or dash off. He glances up at you shyly, and you never thought you’d ever really describe Lando with the word shy, but there’s no other way to refer to the soft look he spares you before quickly diverting his eyes back to his hangnail. “I was wondering, would you wanna come crash at my hotel room and watch stupid TV with me? I can order us cheap wine off the room service menu, or something.”
You recognize the olive branch for what it is.
Lando’s never been the greatest with his words, he’s always excelled at replacing what can be said with what can be done instead, and this is his way of asking to make it up to you— of asking to be let in to at least prove to you that he’s serious.
You take in his downtrodden appearance however, and realize that maybe it’s also his way of asking you not to leave him alone anymore. You remind yourself of your earlier observation: Lando needs a friend as much as you do.
You nudge him with your shoulder after a moment, causing him to lift his gaze once more and meet your eyes again.
“I’d love to,” you answer, offering him a gentle smile back.
━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry @sideboobrry11 @d3kstar @mcmuppet @happylittlereader @casperlikej @5starl1ght @bellezaycafe @whentheautumnleavesfall @mess-is-my-aesthetic @ssprayberrythings @landosgirlxoxo @lifelessfan @81ja @wcnorris @a-disturbing-self-reflection (CLOSED).
━━ a/n: this story has reached a frightening word count that i never imagined it reaching (28k), if i'm being honest, but the more the merrier right? my sincerest apologies for taking so long to get this up, though. i've been a bit ill as of late, which has just completely zapped my energy to do anything that isn't rot in bed all day. i'm feeling better, hence finally getting around to finishing the last home stretch of this part, but i feel bad for how long it took me and i'm hoping the next part won't take me as long as this one did.
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