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#it’s in written and live interviews that she LOVES him like no one she’s ever known
tayytayy12 · 1 day
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From the start | LN4 x Reader
Summary - Reader and Lando have been best friends for years, but reader slowly develops feelings for him, and didn’t want to tell him in fear that he wouldn’t feel the same and it would ruin their friendship forever, so she releases a song indirectly telling him everything, not knowing he’d always felt the same.
Warnings - Swearing
Type - SMAU
FaceClaim - Laufey
Requested - yes - no
Yourusername
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Liked by - LandoNorris, GracieAbrams and 4,927,290 others - Posted 01.02.24
Yourusername - Studio sesh 😙
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User1 - OMG OMG OMG OMG
User2 - DOES THIS MEAN NEW MUSIC SOON ?!??!?
GracieAbrams - 💛
Yourusername - 🤍
User3 - She’s so adorable
User4 - Y/n I need whatever you made in that studio like right now pls
User5 - Oh Y/n I fear I can already tell you’ve ate
LandoNorris - HELLO WHY DIDNT I KNOW OF THIS ?
User6 - the first time she hasn’t told Lando something
Yourusername
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Liked by - LandoNorris, TaylorSwift and 5,100,104 others - Posted 20.02.24
Yourusername - Surprise !!!!!!! My brand new single, ‘from the start’ is out right now! Along with its music video, written and directed by yours truly 😙 this song is unlike anything I’ve ever released before, it’s a complete and true raw reflection of all of my emotions, and I hope you love it like I do. I love you, enjoy 🤍
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User7 - OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
User8 - KNEW Y/N ERA INCOMING
User9 - THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING WHAT
User10 - The music video is so fun and goofy but somehow so deep at the same time, I love it sm 😭
User11 - Y/N WHO IS THIS ABOUT
User12 - FR SAME
User13 - YES LIKE, WHOS GOT OUR GIRL WRITING WHOLE ASS LOVE CONFESSIONS
User14 - Literally my new favourite song
User15 - Okay this is so about Lando
User16 - Girl what ?😭
User17 - I see their point, the lyrics point to all things that they’ve said about their friendship
User18 - Like what? 😭
User19 - Like ‘Listening to you harp on 'bout some new soulmate "She's so perfect, " blah, blah, blah’ Y/n has said so many times that sometimes Lando just sits there and says everything about the new girl he’s talking too and it bores her to death, I’d say that’s good enough proof 😭
Y/n.Nation
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Liked by - User20, LandoNorris and 83,290 others - Posted - 23.02.24
Tagged | @/Yourusername
Y/n.Nation - Y/n was the guest on the Jimmy Fallon show last night !!!! She debuted from the start with its first ever live performance, then done her interview where she revealed that her new hit is about someone very very close and personal to her, her words were-
“From the start for me, is like a one of those letters that people write and throw into the fireplace just to get their emotions out there, but instead of writing a letter and throwing it into a fire I wrote a song and gave it to my fans. Which for me is kind of the same thing, they’re incredibly supportive and loving and I couldn’t be more grateful for them, every single one of them I love with my whole heart. This song is about something that I’ve been keeping to myself for maybe ten years now? Since I was still really young. God that makes me sound old, but it’s about someone I’ve known and been extremely close to since I was a child. And I think when you’re so close with someone, feelings like the one I’ve presented in the song can completely ruin a friendship if they’re unrequited, but the other day I decided it was time for me to ‘man up’ as my mum would say, and I went to the studio, I wrote and recorded the song and shot the video, and I just released it and I let my music do the talking. I’ve still not heard anything from the person I’ve aimed it too, so if I don’t get one I suppose that’s my answer to my ‘confession of love’ that I brought up at least seven times in the song.”
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User21 - Y/n told me she loves me
User22 - I’m crying this is so cute but a teeny bit sad at the same time
User23 - She actually lets us read her diary 🥲
User24 - Oh it’s so about lando 🥲
User25 - It’s so obvious I’m gonna cry
User26 - LANDO ANSWER HER RN
User27 - ‘Since I was really young’ she really has loved him from the start
User28 - Okay this relationship is a need now please
User29 - same it’s not even a joke anymore
User30 - Lando it’s in your hands now do the right thing
User31 - LANDO LIKED THAT HAS TO BE GOOD
LN.Updates
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Liked by - Yourusername, user32 and 89,191 others - Posted - 25.02.24
Tagged | @/LandoNorris
LN.Updates - Lando on a podcast recently!!! He never addresses Y/n by name, but I think we’d be right in assuming that’s who’s he’s talking about
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User33 - MY LANY/N HEART HAS BEEN GROWING THIS PAST WEEK
User34 - I need someone who looks at me the way Lando looks whenever Y/n is mentioned
User35 - WE ALL DO
User36 - HE FEELS THE SAME HE FEELS THE SAME
User37 - Y/N LIKED OMGGG
User38 - Gonna die
User39 - I need them together right now
User40 - All the Lany/n haters right now are hiding
User41 - As they should be
LandoNorris
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Liked by - Yourusername, OscarPiastri and 2,008,99 others - Posted - 22.04.24
Tagged | @/yourusername
LandoNorris - Just thinking of youuuuu 🤍🤍
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User42 - EVERYBODY WAKE UP LANY/N HAS BEEN CONFIRMED
User42 - SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
User43 - RIP ME
User44 - WHY THE FUCK DID IT TAKE YOU TWO MONTHS TO CONFIRM THIS
LandoNorris - We was in a funny mood, we’ve been together since the day after that podcast 🫠
User45 - SHUT THE FUCK UP
User46 - So, before the even confirmed their relationship, they’ve been on a boat trip, she’s been to races, AND they’ve gone to the beach while we all through that they wasn’t together
User47 - The from the start lyrcis 😩
Yourusername - That was a great coffee
LandoNorris - I made a cute hard launch post and you focus on the coffee you had over a month ago?
Yourusername - It was a really good coffee 🥲
LandoNorris - I’ll buy you more
Yourusername - I love youuu 🥲
LandoNorris - I love you more 🤍
User48 - I’m going to sleep on the highway
Yourusername
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Liked by - LandoNorris, GracieAbrams and 2,991,295 others - Posted 22.04.24
Tagged | @/LandoNorris
Yourusername - When I say from the start, I really mean it 🤍
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User49 - This is the kind of love I NEED.
LandoNorris - I love you, I always have
Yourusername - Funny, I could say that same thing. I love you so much more
LandoNorris - Impossible
User50 - This is why I wish my mum had a best friend with a son, cause this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
Liked by author
———
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lokittystuckinatree · 4 months
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2 months later almost to the day and I’m still literally sobbing into my pillow about the Shakespearean tragedy that was Sylki
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ozzgin · 4 months
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OZZGIN!
May I request an idea/imagine?
It is about yandere! mental asylum patient and psychiatrist! reader, who is very practical and strict regarding her job, takes no BS from others. But, for some reason, she has a soft spot for yandere! mental asylum patient. The reason could either be he had a hard childhood in which he had to do what he had to do, which brutally killed his father, who used to abuse his mother and sister, but when the father tried to sell the sister into prostitution to buy more alcohol, all hell break lose. Psychiatrist! reader thinks what yandere! mental asylum the patient did was OKAY, and she wants to get him out of the asylum. They love each other deeply and would do anything, so far as to kill for one another. If you can, make it as twisted as you can. I live for some dark romance!
Please ignore my request if you are not able to do it. I completely understand. Thank you in advance! <3
Oh my, this request hits somewhat close to home as I have a friend incarcerated for similar reasons. I'm pondering the logistics behind this context you've provided, since murdering someone won't necessarily land you in a psych ward unless there are other symptoms that come with it. And so I've taken the liberty to expand the character's profile if that's alright. (Conveniently enough I still have my psychopathology lecture notes)
I want to add, however, that this story in no way romanticizes mental illness! If anything, one may consider it an opportunity to reflect on the fact that so many people struggling with disorders do not receive the proper care for it, or only do so when it's too late. Furthermore a medical professional should never, ever behave like this and whatever is written here should stay in the realm of fiction!
Yandere! Patient x Psychiatrist! Reader
Featuring a patient that's pushing the boundaries of your work ethic and might even succeed.
Content/warnings: female reader, detailed mentions of mental disorder, violence, obsessive behavior, breach of professional conduct
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You roll up your sleeve and check your watch. He should be here soon. Out of habit, you shuffle the papers for a quick case review, even though you already know all the details by heart. You carefully set aside the patient’s MMPI and WHODAS entry assessments, then your first interviews. Your eyes briefly rest upon the resulting report you’ve comprised: Schizophreniform Disorder (Provisional) with good prognostic features; Diagnostic criteria consisting of delusions, disorganized speech (frequent derailment with episodes of incoherence, echolalia) and comorbid catatonia. Responds well to antipsychotic (clozapine 25mg/12 h) with no imminent need for dosage increase. As it currently stands, he will be fit for proper incarceration in less than 6 months. Is it something you agree with? Not quite. You’ve presented your case many times and it has always been met with pitiful shrugs and dismissals.
The door opens and you fix your posture, sweeping the documents back into your drawer. “And? How are you feeling today?” You ask, flashing a professional, cordial smile as the assisting nurse leads the patient to his seat and prepares her leave. “My chest hurts.” The man answers in a low voice, glaring at the nurse. He taps his foot against the plush carpet, seemingly restless. “How bad would you rate it? Chest pain is a somewhat common side effect of your medication.” You retort, following the movements of the woman finally excusing herself and exiting the room. Once you’re alone, the man’s shoulders droop and he visibly relaxes. “It’s not that, you know it. When can I touch you again?” He pleads, despair twisting his features. You tense up at the words. “Behave yourself. It hasn’t been that long.”
It’s not something you’re particularly proud of. In fact, you might even call it one of your great shames in life. You’ve always been a textbook professional, perhaps even too strict according to your coworkers and most patients. Not even in your wildest dreams would you have dared to imagine you’d violate the code of ethics by falling in love with your patient. But something about his situation stirred your sense of justice. Surely one cannot be punished for protecting their loved ones. The only criminal in the equation, at least in your eyes, was that joke of a father and he had it coming. So you found yourself wrestling against a blooming protectiveness and favoritism towards the young man brought here last month.
What would have normally compelled you into action had therefore been silently swept under the rug. Or even worse, you secretly indulged in it. A patient showing signs of affection towards you would instantly be transferred to a different psychiatrist. Yet you couldn’t put away the letters written by this one. Erratic, crumpled notes of “I love you” written countless times, pencil dug so deep it tore into the sheet. Bizarre illustrations that looked almost threatening. His elaborate delusions before medication was introduced, where he’d detail in grand narratives how you were fated for each other and nothing would stop him from having you sooner or later. You do not know what forces possessed you into this addictive plunge, but you’ve come to enjoy his violent, frenzied confessions. So much, that during one of the unsupervised meetings you let yourself pushed into the sofa as his hands tugged at your body in rabid need. It was so out of character that you wondered if it truly happened, though the bite marks and scratches on your neck and chest proved otherwise.
“Are they going to send me to prison?” He changes the subject and stands up, walking towards your desk. “Most likely. What you have is the result of a traumatic event, not a lifelong condition. Sporadic episodes that can be kept under control with antipsychotics aren’t enough of a reason to keep you in the hospital.” You press your legs together nervously and glance at him. “Can’t you just say it’s no longer working?” He suggests, kneeling before you and placing a hand on your thigh. “You know I can’t lie on the report.” You really don’t like it when he manipulates you like this. “Ah, yes, because lying is worse than fucking your patient.” He scoffs, annoyed. “Don’t threaten me like that”, you say as you turn towards him, but you’re stopped by the rough grip of his hand over your cheeks. “I’m not threatening you, I’m threatening everyone else. Listen, (Y/N), I’m not fucking around. I don’t mind pretending to be crazy if I have to. Will the meds still be working if I steal a shaving razor and cut the nurse open?” You try to open your mouth, but his fingers are pressed into your skin, locking your jaw into place. “I’m not going to prison. I’m not. Then I’ll never see you again and that can’t happen. You know that.”
Eventually he releases his hold, allowing you to speak. "I understand. Then there's no choice but to arrange your escape." You sigh, defeated, and he raises his eyebrows. "Won't that get you in trouble?" You chuckle at his statement. "Either way I'll be in trouble. You said it yourself. Might as well quit before I have to stand in front of the ethics board and have my license revoked." You'd prefer to keep the last ounce of pride if possible.
He sits on the floor and you notice his trembling hands. "Nervous?" You ask. "No. Just really happy. I'm not a bad person and you were the only one here to see it. But God, (Y/N), I'd kill anyone if it was for your sake. I can't wait to hold you whenever I want." He gazes at you as a smile widens on his face.
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leclercmode · 6 months
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written on the books ☁️ charles leclerc
summary: charles being your biggest fan.
couple: f1 driver! charles x singer! you
face claim: sabrina carpenter
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ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, selenagomez, and 10.972.616 others
ynusername see you soon, los angeles!! feeling so grateful for the memories <3
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selenagomez so proud of you 🤍
bellahadid my angel baby bestie
arianagrande you look so great!!!!!!!!!! can’t wait to see you again 🤍🫧🫧
dualipa LOVE U!!!!!
comments on this post have been limited.
ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, arianagrande, and 9.762.917 others
ynusername love you guys 🌟
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madisonbeer u r unbelievable superstar
madelyncline wow wow wow yes yes yes 👼🏻🧚🏻‍♀️✨
gigihadid amazing 😍
arianagrande WHAT THE EFFFFF I LOVE YOU
comments on this post have been limited.
charles_leclerc
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Liked by ynusername, carlossainz55, and 608.013 others
charles_leclerc back on pooooooole babyyyy. really happy with that. but before sunday’s race, we’ve got another qualifying and the sprint race this afternoon. let’s go!
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user1 YN LIKED WTF
user2 congrats baby we love you and we’re so proud of you (WHAT THE F YN IS DOING HERE)
user3 let’s go for moreeeee
user4 am i the only one who does not like yn’s songs
user5 @user4 yes you are
user6 @user4 yes
user7 @user4 yup
user8 congrats and good luck for today’s race
user9 c’mon charles it’s written in the stars you’ll win today
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NOW: F1 2023 US GP Charles Leclerc Post Sprint Race Interview
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comments ⬇️
user1 WAIT THIS IS ACTUALLY THE CUTEST THING EVER
user2 my favorite era of yn is definitely this one because she looks the happiest omg
user3 i want someone to look at me like charles to yn 🥹 like the pureness in his eyes omg im actually gonna faint
user4 finally she gets a matured man
user5 charles found his dream girl
user6 i absolutely love this, charles needs someone like yn and yn needs someone like charles!!!!!
user7 im a yn fan and a reader this is my girl dinner
user8 this actually made me feel so happy for them and teared up a bit.
user9 the thing that gives me goosebumps is the songs she will possibly write about these moments!!!
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ynupdates
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Liked by charlesupdates, ynnews, and 457.928 others
ynupdates Charles Leclerc at The Eras Tour.
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user10 OMG THEY ARE SO CUTE IM GONNA PASS OUT
user11 why is dude wearing a ferrari shirt
user12 @user11 dude lives for ferrari
user13 i love how charles isn’t afraid to let yn shine because he knows what she’s worth and is one of her biggest fans, im so happy for her.
user14 @user13 exactly!!!!
user15 @user13 this is why this is her FOREVER!
user16 her next album is gonna be SO LOVELY
user17 i want to be them
user18 OMG!!!! this. she looks so happy and he’s batshit smitten by her.
user19 @user18 they suit each other perfectly
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charles_leclerc
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Liked by ynusername, arthur_leclerc, and 5.872.081 others
charles_leclerc what a day ❤️
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ynusername love you 🌟 so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
❤️ by author
arthur_leclerc 😍😍
user20 THIS PIC OMG IM SHAKING
user21 marry this man
user22 that’s so hot of him
user23 he’s like fck the podium im gonna kiss my girl
user24 that’s a true man
ynusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc, arianagrande, and 13.872.772 others
ynusername thank you for the flowers 🥹🤍🌟🫧 @charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc i love you.
arianagrande i love you guys so much 🫧🫧🫧🫧
bellahadid 😍
selenagomez happy for you 🥰
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3K notes · View notes
ham1lton · 8 days
Text
another day, another drama.
pairing: lando norris x fellow driver’s sister!reader.
summary: the one where you think o/s is hiding something from you, so with the help of your boyfriend and his friends, you try to figure it out. too bad you find more than you bargained for.
author’s note: part of the nepo sister universe. i fear we might be coming to the end of the nsu soon…. also there is a poll at the end, help a struggling writer out and vote pls mwah.
— part one | part two (coming soon).
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liked by oldersistersbff, yourbff and 287,737 others.
yourusername: just saw these pics of my bf and burst into tears. fuck f1 for taking my bf and my sister away from me….
oscarpiastri: ur welcome ☺️
-> yourusername: SICK SICK MAN!!!! 😒😒
user1: not u acting like a war widow 😭
-> yourusername: my husband (boyfriend) has been taken as a prisoner of war (forced to do his job) thousands of miles away (no this part is actually real).
user9: i’m new to this. are they lovers?
-> user8: worse.
*liked by oscarpiastri.*
formula1: we apologise yourusername! but you’ll see him soon we promise! :)
-> yourusername: RETURN MY BF IMMEDIATELY….
-> user5: girl what about your sister??
-> yourusername: she’ll be fine 😘
user6: girl um did u see ur sister’s newest interview???
-> yourusername: no??!! BRB!
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liked by zendaya, simonebiles and 3,288,728 others.
vogue: the paddock’s princess came to talk to us about being our newest cover girl, winning her most recent championship, going viral, her love life and what her favourite smoothie combination is.
user3: shes so cute 🥺🥺
user1: o/s has been notoriously single since her breakup with paul like five years ago… why is she giggling and smiling when asked about a man???
-> user2: no i noticed that… omg is she seeing someone?
user7: face card never declines!
user4: when gav told her that she’d won and the first thing she did when she left the car was hug him and cry??? she’s so cute. i’m so glad i live in the y/n domination era.
-> user5: the edits with that video are sick… o/s is keeping the tiktok editors in business.
-> user9: have you seen the ones about her and lando to the song lacy??? INSANE…
-> user5: DM ME RN
user31: her saying she doesn’t ever want to be defined by her wins and rather by who she is a person. we love a charitable queen!
yourusername: love life… hmmm….
-> user4: oh no….. she’s plotting 😭
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liked by oldersistersbff, user72 and 2,833,617 others.
oldersister: family reunion.
yourusername: no credits for the pics??
-> oldersister: no. you take enough credit from my card.
-> yourusername: … fair.
user1: she’s deadass married wth.
-> user6: family reunion out of nowhere? talking about her love life suddenly after years of not even having one? photographed with two separate men?? shopping with o/s/bff in a bridal boutique and cordoning off the area?? it’s adding up sis ur not even delusional for this one….
user9: WHO’S UR MAN @/oldersister
user5: stop with the married jokes y’all…. i can’t lose my queen to some MAN….
user3: are you planning on changing ur surname from l/n.
-> oldersister: never.
-> user16: oh so you do see these comments…
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SPYING TRANSCRIPT - THURSDAY, 6PM.
- written by LANDO NORRIS, for his boss Y/N L/N.
LANDO NORRIS - i think she’s dating carlos. i’m putting my cards out there.
OSCAR PIASTRI - put your cards back. no way that’d happen. i think she’s dating someone else. look at these photos. that guy isn’t carlos.
DANIEL RICCARDO - just tell y/n she’s dating me and we can all go to sleep. i mean look at my incredible good looks, it would be sacrilegious to not want me.
PIASTRI - if she was gonna go for the hottest driver on the grid she’d go for lewis or charles.
CHARLES LECLERC - oh thank you oscar! very nice.
NORRIS - you’re moving away from the point. wait… is someone knocking on the door?
(everyone looks at each other concerned)
RICCIARDO - oh i ordered pizza. i forgot. my bad!
LECLERC - how about her dating another athlete? someone who understands this life but won’t affect her position here.
NORRIS - smart… what athlete has she been seen with recently?
PIASTRI - according to social media, simone biles?
NORRIS - isn’t she married? nah, who else.
RICCIARDO - she was telling me the other day that she went to the psg game. i asked her why and she said she had a friend who played for them.
LECLERC - kylian mbappé? that makes a lot of sense actually….
NORRIS - do you feel a kin to him? i mean, you’re both frenchmen after all.
(OSCAR PIASTRI would like the transcript to include the following: — after this, charles hit lando. i laughed.)
PIASTRI - it could be that this is all a big misunderstanding. she could have been shopping for a bridesmaid dress. why would she get married and not tell her sister who she’s incredibly close to? that makes no sense to me.
RICCIARDO - anyways….
NORRIS - what about leonardo dicaprio!
LECLERC - she is under 25….
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taglist: @23victoria @luckyladycreator2 @mxdi0 @booksandflowrs @charlesleclercsonlywife @casperlikej @nichmeddar @decafmickey @evie-119 @ironmaiden1313 @d3kstar @blupblupfish @demvnsriot @raevyng @namgification (don’t see yourself or wanna be removed? send an ask!)
— don’t wanna miss an update? join my taglist!
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love-belle · 8 months
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you got me thinking nonsense !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which heartbreak led to her real love and she'd be damned if she didn't make sure everyone knows that.
or
for when they're everything to you. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader
prequel - light as a feather ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - posting this i simply couldn't resist!!! i'll try my HARDEST to post carlos' version of shout out to my ex tonight but if not then tomorrow fs <3 thank u so much for reading, i love u <3
taglist - @marsdreamworld @eviethetheatrefreak @22yuki @incoherenciass @bb-swift @willowpains @lordperceval-16 (tagging all those who asked for part ii <3)
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by pierregasly, f1updates, exwagsclub and 79,726 others
paddock.club y/n y/l/n and charles leclerc spark dating rumours as they were seen out on a "date", which were further confirmed as the couple shared a kiss. for weeks, y/l/n and leclerc have been having coy and not-so-platonic interactions on social media and fans have speculated that these two are more just friends. this news comes after y/n's break up with a fellow driver of charles and while neither y/n or her ex have commented on this, it's clear that they didn't have a clean break up as there were rumours of cheating surrounding the ex. for more details, click on the link in our bio.
tagged charles_leclerc yourusername
589 comments
username LMFAOAOOA THE WAY LANDO ISN'T EVEN MENTIONED HERE
username "the ex" ur so right he's not worth mentioning 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
username olivia was talking abt lando when she sang "some weird second string loser who's not worth mentioning"
*liked by oliviarodrigo*
username my true parents fr ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username she looks sooo happy with him im so happy for her
username love how none of yes are surprised like we all saw this coming
username the way l*ndo isn't even mentioned ONCE like that's what u get for cheating babes!!!!!!!!!
username CHARLES AND Y/N FUCK YEA
username she genuinely looks so much happier with charles like this is the type of relationship she deserved ❤️
username IM ❤️ SO ❤️ HAPPY ❤️ FOR ❤️ THEM ❤️
username no bc there was no way they thought that they'd be able to convince us that they weren't together
username istg i see one person comment some out of pocket shit im SWINGING
username l*ndo's crying rn like i can Feel it
username no bc HOW'D he pull 😭😭😭😭😭
-> username fr like u put him near y/n he starts malfunctioning
-> username no bc that one interview where he forgot his own team's name js bc y/n walked past him is LIVING proof
username i know the driver's gc is WILDIN rn
username see now idk who to be jealous of
-> username the only correct answer is both
username no bc IMAGINE THE SONGS SHE'LL WRITE ABOUT HIM!!!!!!
username pretty people (y/n and charles) ruining it for the ugly people (me) by getting together
username oh so he got GAME
username everyone bffr y/n was probably the one who took the initiative
username guys stop with all the l*ndo slander comments i can't like them all
username charles leclerc i will never forgive u for taking my wife
username im sooooOOOOooo normal about this. ha fucking ha.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 2,792,712 others
yourusername nonsense is now yours!!! i wrote this song on my very close friend's bedroom's floor and i can officially say that this is the most unhinged song i have ever written :) i love u all sooo much i could cry <3 (charles_leclerc be my personal photographer pls ❤️)
15,628 comments
username HELLO?????? PLEASE IM CRYING WHAT IS THIS SONG AND WHY IS IT MAKING ME CRY AND HORNY
username IM TALKIN OPPOSITE OF SOFT?????? Y/N?????????
username nah she's unhinged
username "on my very close friend's bedroom's floor" BABE WE KNOW
username how quickly can u take ur clothes off pop quiz 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
-> username oh she's wild for adding this
username IN LOVE WITH THE OUTRO
username PLEASE touch some grass and meditate
georgerussell63 wish i never heard it but cool beats x
-> yourusername i too wish u never heard it but thank u russell george x
username i know sebastian texted her after this
*liked by yourusername*
username okayyyy so at least he's winning off the track
-> username OH UR SO WRONG FOR THIS
username at least my girl's getting some good dick y'all leave her alone
username im a changed woman after hearing this song
username u gotta keep up with me!!!!! i got some young energy!!!!!!! i caught the l-o-v-e!!!! why do u do this to me!!!!!!!
username i know charles is blasting the SHIT out of this sin anthem (encouraging)
-> username PLEASE NOT SIN ANTHEM
lilymhe when will you write a song like this about me :/
-> yourusername if u would like i can show u????
-> lilymhe i'm On my way!
-> alex_albon STOP I'M STILL HERE
-> yourusername alex look away
-> charles_leclerc i'm
-> yourusername u too babe look AWAY
-> username BABE
-> username DID SHE JS CONFIRM IT FR FR
username said u like my eyes????? AND u like to make them roll??????
-> username if someone said that to me i would be AT the altar in most white dress ever
username charles won at life fr
username WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABT HOW GOOD SHE LOOKS IN THESE PHOTOS
-> username my heart stopped she's so barbie coded
charles_leclerc nice song
-> yourusername thank u
charles_leclerc any particular muse behind this?
-> yourusername js this cool guy i've been seeing
-> charles_leclerc "cool" huh? 😏😏😏😏🤪🤪🤪🤪🤗🤗🤗🤗🫡🫡🫡🫡🥶🥶🥶🥶😩😩😩😩🤧🤧🤧🤧☺️☺️☺️☺️😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰😚😚😚😚
-> yourusername yes charles u are cool
-> username MY GOD SOMEONE TAKE AWAY THIS MAN'S PHONE
-> username y/n be honest does he blush and giggle when u call him a pet name????
-> yourusername what do u think
-> username I KNEW IT OMG
charles_leclerc if the person in front of the camera is you, i will gladly be behind the camera for the rest of my life.
-> yourusername the most romantic thing u have ever said to me
-> charles_leclerc that's not true
-> yourusername u called me a chameleon yesterday
-> charles_leclerc because you wear a different shade of eye colour everyday
-> yourusername eye shadow* baby
-> charles_leclerc okay :D
-> username WHO IS THIS MAN
-> username nah he's GONE for her
≡;- ꒰ twitter ꒱
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, arthur_leclerc and 1,538,976 others
charles_leclerc she wrote a song for me and while it wasn't the most romantic one, the sentiment is still appreciated. y/n, i adore you completely, even if you spend more time with my mom than you do with me. mon cœur ❤️ ( my heart )
tagged yourusername
12,629 comments
username im
username js gonna leave yeah (ABSHDHDJSJJSSJ)
username what do u MEAN charles is in love and what do u MEAN that it's not with me (i love them both sm)
username okayyyy she wrote how much she loves u and ur little thing that's the MOST romantic thing ever
-> username nah bestie given the way she wrote the song im not it's *little*
*liked by yourusername*
-> username GIRL PLEASE WHY ARE U LURKING
username i love them both so much
carlossainz55 you two make me nauseous but it's been a long time coming 🤍 happy for you both !!
-> charles_leclerc thank you for your approval <3
-> carlossainz55 had to make sure you'd treat her better 🤷
-> username "treat her better" is speaking VOLUMES
-> username i love carlos so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username y/n being the grid's favourite is my aesthetic 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
username I LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH THEY'RE MY PARENTS LIKE AJSJSKSKSJKSKKS
username "mon cœur" can u hear me SCREAMING 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
username they genuinely deserve all the happy things in life like im SO fr
username ferrari better get their shit in order bc i know that if they fuck up again y/n is fr gonna destroy them and idk if that's gonna be by words or by a song or she's straight up gonna fist fight them
*liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and carlossainz55*
danielricciardo at least she writes you songs, she writes me threatening messages
-> yourusername U CALLED ME THAT MCDONALD'S CLOWN
-> charles_leclerc i'm not gonna intervene
-> danielricciardo BECAUSE YOU LOOKED LIKE ONE
-> yourusername THAT'S JS CHARLES NOT ME
-> charles_leclerc i am going to intervene
username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ about them
username i just fell to the floor what the fuck
username IM SOOOOOOOOO *cries*
lewishamilton 🫶🏼
*liked by charles_leclerc*
username i KNOW lando is pulling at his hair rn
username THAT NOTE OH MY GOD
username pls god when will it be me
username im so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
yourusername wdym "u said u like my eyes and u like to make em roll" is not romantic
-> charles_leclerc the most romantic thing i have ever heard in my eye
-> yourusername ❤️
yourusername i love ur mom
-> charles_leclerc i know
-> leclerc_pascale mon ange 😘
-> yourusername MAMA LECLERC ❤️❤️❤️
-> charles_leclerc and i'm right here...
yourusername cannot wait to write songs for u my entire life
-> charles_leclerc cannot wait to compose piano pieces for you 😘
-> username IM SCREAMING
-> username WHAT DO U MEAN HE COMPOSES PIANO PIECES FOR HER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username they're so
username i would give anything to have a love like that 😭😭😭😭😭
username im crying.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, lorenzotl, lilymhe and 2,975,327 others
yourusername looking at u got me thinking nonsense!!!!!!!!!!! also special thanks to landonorris bc if not for him i wouldn't have met the love of my life so thanks dude even if ur a prepubescent piece of shit
tagged charles_leclerc
18,629 comments
username IM HOWLING WHAT THE FUCK
username THE TAG THE CAPTION
username prepubescent piece of shit will forever be engraved in my brain ❤️
username LMFAOAOAOAO
username y/n y/m/n y/l/n u will always be famous
username IM CRYINF WHAT THEBFUCK
lewishamilton both of you 💕
-> yourusername we love u lewis <3
username she will never let l*ndo live in peace and i love her sm for that
username i just cackled out loud why is she so funny
username SHE'S SOOOO UNSERIOUS
username i js know charles is MADLY in love with her bc HOW can u not be
username she's so unhinged. i love her.
username screaming
lilymhe i thought we were something
-> yourusername babygirl u own my heart and 4ever will
-> alex_albon wow.
-> charles_leclerc oh my god
username they're so adorable 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username THEM
username no bc charles deffo manifested this shit like imagine having a crush on someone for YEARS and then they date ur friend but the friend cheats on them and u end up together like woahh wildddd
-> username and then they write a song about u
-> username AND THEN THEY WRITE A SONG ABOUT U
oscarpiastri a scream just erupted from *his* driver's room
*liked by yourusername*
-> username target audience reached 🫡
username stop with the l*ndo hate comments i seriously CANNOT like them all
username i would do anything to go to a driver's meeting ANYTHING
maxverstappen1 nice caption
-> yourusername thank u :) an angry dutch proof read this
username max proof reading this caption is sooo funny like omg
-> username they're truly destroying his peace and i respect them so much
username i truly cannot wait for the next race
username NO BC DID SOMEONE SEE THAT CLIP WHERE NONSENSE PLAYED IN THE PADDOCK WHILE LANDO WAS THERE AND HE LOOKED SO 😒😒😒😒😒😒
-> username LMFAOAOAOA THAT WAS HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY
-> username truly a cinematic piece ❤️
charles_leclerc was the first photo necessary
-> yourusername absolutely like look at my man ❤️
charles_leclerc looking at YOU got ME thinking nonsense
-> yourusername stop im blushing
charles_leclerc i thought we'd be nice
-> yourusername no YOU'D be nice i'd be mean
-> charles_leclerc okay amour ( my love )
charles_leclerc i love you ❤️
-> yourusername i caught the l-o-v-e
-> yourusername i love you more ❤️
username IM SOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username charles and y/n ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username me when.
2K notes · View notes
drvscarlett · 10 days
Text
The Tortured Drivers' Department
— combining another one of my favorites. I'll be taking notes and writing fics about which TTPD song do I associate with the drivers ( + I will be including the retired ones). This is the main list and I'll be linking them when I finished writing them. Let me know if you wanna be tagged
Also give TTPD a listen. Its so beautiful and a masterpiece
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Fortnight
— i love you, its ruining my life (Lewis Hamilton x Mercedes!reader)
The Tortured Poets Department 
— At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on. And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding (Pierre Gasly x ex!reader)
My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys 
— 'Cause he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart left all these broken parts (Lando Norris x reader)
Down Bad
— Fuck it if I can't have him (Charles Leclerc x kpop idol!reader)
So Long, London
— You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? (George Russell x secret girlfriend! reader)
But Daddy I Love Him
— "I'm having his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces (Alex Albon x Horner!reader)
Fresh Out the Slammer
— Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you (Esteban Ocon x childhood bestfriend!reader)
Florida!!! (feat. Florence + the Machine) 
—I need to forget, so take me to Florida (Logan Sargeant x heiress!reader)
Guilty as Sin?
—What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? (Oscar Piastri x bestfriend!reader)
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?
— I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean (Nico Rosberg x Lewis Hamilton)
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
— they shake their heads, saying, "God help her" when I tell 'em he's my man (Daniel Ricciardo x longtime girlfriend!reader)
loml
— Oh, what a valiant roar. What a bland goodbye. The coward claimed he was a lion (Max Verstappen x childhood sweetheart!reader)
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart 
— Lights, camera, bitch, smile (Zhou Guanyu x model!reader)
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
— And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive (Yuki Tsunoda x Actress!reader)
The Alchemy
—'Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me (Kimi Räikkönen x assistant!reader)
Clara Bow
— This town is fake, but you're the real thing (Sebastian Vettel x Ferrari heir!reader)
The Black Dog
— I am someone who, until recent events you shared your secrets with (Mick Schumacher x driver!reader
imgonnagetyouback
— I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch (Fernando Alonso x wife!reader)
The Albatross
— She's the albatross, she is here to destroy you (Jenson Button x revenger!reader)
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
—So if I sell my apartment and you have some kids with an internet starlet. Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon? (Carlos Sainz x Vasseur!reader)
How Did It End?
— The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling (Logan Sargeant x Oscar Piastri)
So High School
—You knew what you wanted, and, boy, you got her (Charles Leclerc x reader ft Max Verstappen x childhood friend!reader)
I Hate It Here
—I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind (Kimi Räikkönen x interviewer! reader)
thanK you aIMee
— And then she wrote headlines in the local paper laughing at each baby step I'd take (Mark Webber x reader)
I Look in People’s Windows
—What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time (Sebastian Vettel x reader)
The Prophecy
—Don't want money, just someone who wants my company (Pierre Gasly x politician's daughter!reader)
Cassandra
—So they killed Cassandra first cause she feared the worst (Lewis Hamilton x wife!reader)
Peter
— Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold onto the days when you were mine (Lando Norris x reader)
The Bolter
— "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" (Max Verstappen x hollywood starlet!reader)
Robin
— You have no room in your dreams for regrets (Oscar Piastri x girlfriend!reader)
The Manuscript
—One last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then I re-read the manuscript. But the story isn't mine anymore (Carlos Sainz x McLaren employee!reader)
327 notes · View notes
shuadotcom · 2 months
Text
In Case You Didn’t Know (M)
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Pairing: Lee Chan x Fem!Reader
Summary: Chan has always been just one of your step-brother’s best friends. He’s also been in love with you for as long as everyone remembers, but you never paid him much mind - that is until you decide to return home after many years away and you see the man he’s become. He goes from being your little brother’s best friend to being the perfect man for you in a matter of months. Now the questions are who wants who more and will either of you do anything about your feelings?
Genres: Fluff, romance, smut, a little angst | AUs: Brother’s best friend au, roommates au, 90s au
Rating: 18+(MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED) | Words: 28.8k 🥴
Warnings: Profanity, alcohol use, will-they-won’t-they tension, a scene of reader x Lee Minhyuk (suggestive) and reader x Joshua (romantic) | Smut Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering (f.receiving), oral (f.receiving), thigh riding, praise, dirty talk, pet names (baby, babygirl, good boy), service top!Chan
Note: Written for the Now That’s 90s collab hosted by @beomcoups & @mingsolo ! I wanted to get this out for Christmas but my brain had other plans. I wanted to invoke a kind of cheesy Christmas romance movie feel to this while still keeping it 90s so that’s the vibe we’re going for! Thank you to the always amazing @wongyuseokie for the lovely banner 💙 And thank you @wooahaeproductions for beta reading my word vomit and helping me come up with this title! I love and appreciate you very much my beta/fic title queen! 💖 Also, I want to give giant sappy thank yous, hugs, and kisses to Bee, @horanghater, @onlymingyus, and @the-boy-meets-evil for all giving me pep talks and offering support throughout the process of this fic coming to exist. It’s my longest fic ever and I wanted to start over so many more times than I did so I appreciate and love y’all v much!! 🥹💞🫶🏽
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“Miss? We’re here,” The taxi driver's voice wakes you, bleary eyes focusing on the apartment building outside the car window. You hadn’t been sleeping that long, but it was long enough to make you tired after your fifteen-hour flight to Seoul. That, coupled with the heat of the taxi made you cozy enough to nap, but you’re finally looking forward to being out of a moving vehicle.
As the taxi driver unloads your suitcases from the trunk, you step out into the cold September air, and triple-check the address of the apartment building, comparing the number on the building in front of you to what’s written in your planner in hand. You had verified the address with your step-brother each time the two of you spoke on the phone leading up to your flight to Korea.
When you originally told Hansol that you decided that you were ready to quit your flight attendant career and move back home, your original plan was to move back in with your parents. Going into it, you knew well enough that the move would be annoying. You loved your mom and stepdad, but your mom was a bit of a helicopter mom growing up, so you can only imagine what living under her roof again would be like.
Luckily, you and your brother have always gotten along and been close, so instead of subjecting you to moving back home, he offered to let you move in with him and his roommate. Their third roommate was planning on moving out to live with his partner, so his room would be open for the taking. 
“It’d be so much easier than putting an ad in the paper or online and interviewing strangers. You and Chan are cool right?” Hansol had asked, referring to his other roommate. Lee Chan was one of his best friends since you all were kids. Other than his very loud and very obvious crush on you, you had no problem with Chan and gladly accepted the room offer.
After you and your brother made a plan for you to move in, you contacted your oldest and closest friend who had offered you job opportunities before, citing if you ever wanted to move back to South Korea, she would do her damndest to get you something. Needless to say, she was thrilled to hear your voice when you finally called and broke the news. 
The planning to get here seemed like it took forever, but now that you’re back with your feet on Seoul soil, you were happy. The journey of closing this chapter of your life was wrapping up. Now you will have a chance at doing something different for the next part of your life.
With both full-to-the-brim suitcases in hand, you roll them behind you into the building and to the elevator. The ride to the third floor is short and the walk to your brother’s apartment is even shorter.
Just as he had instructed, you lift the welcome mat to find a key waiting for you and use it to let yourself in. 
“Han?” You call your brother’s name once inside but don’t get a response. You can hear water running down the hall and see shoes by the door so he’s obviously home. 
Your eyes sweep over the living room as you take off your coat and boots. You’re surprised at just how clean the apartment is with two men in their mid-twenties living in it. The couch is a simple black fabric three-seater with a matching chair off to the side. A brown wood coffee table sits in front of both with a few magazines and two remotes on it. Presumably, for the TV and VCR sitting across the room from the seating. 
You had half expected to see clothes and movies strewn across the floor and furniture, but there’s none of that in sight. 
After hanging your coat on the rack by the door and leaving your boots with the other pair, you leave your suitcases in the foyer and start down the hallway, heading for what you assume is the bathroom. You’re not sure which room is Hansol’s, but he mentioned that he’d be home when you got in, so you plan on poking your head into each door until you find the one that so obviously screams Chwe Hansol.
The water cuts off in the bathroom as your socked feet pad across the carpet and you make a pitstop at the bathroom, figuring you’ll just meet your brother there instead.
“Hansol?” You raise a hand to knock on the door at the same time that it swings open. It is most certainly not your brother on the other side.
Out of the bathroom, clad in only a fluffy white towel slung low on his hips, steps your brother’s roommate and best friend Lee Chan.
The same Lee Chan that you’ve known since he was in grade school when his hair was spiked, his eyes were too far apart and his head was too big for his body. The same one that’s been hopelessly in love with you since he and his family moved in next door to you and Hansol when he was ten. You of course have had to turn him down all of your life. Other than the fact that he’s a few years younger than you, he was always just your brother’s awkward but sweet best friend. You remember exactly how he looked and how he acted - like a kid.
This Lee Chan though is different. This Lee Chan very clearly works out. His arms are muscular and buff. He has defined pecs and abs that are still covered in flecks of water that are dripping down his built body. Dripping down to the light dusting of hair leading from his belly button and underneath the towel.
This Lee Chan has a strong jaw, pouty lips, and dark hair that hangs in his eyes. This Lee Chan is one of the finest men you’ve ever seen in your life - and a man he most certainly is. Your eyes unabashedly sweep over his mouth-watering frame until you meet his brown eyes and you remember instantly that this is still the Lee Chan that you should absolutely not be looking at like this. 
“Oh! Y/n!” His voice is much deeper than you remember and it sits heavy in the pit of your stomach.
“Chan! Sorry, I thought you were Hansol! He said he’d be home when I got in.” You clear your throat, trying to get a grip on yourself. 
“Oh yeah, he got called into work at the last minute. He left you a note on the fridge.” 
“Oh, okay.”
The two of you stand there for a moment, neither of you speaking.
“Well uh, let me get dressed and then I can give you a tour of the apartment and your room. I’m heading out soon to meet up with some friends, but I have time.” 
“Only if you want to! I don't want to hold you up!”
“You won’t, promise! Just give me a few minutes.”
Chan flashes you a smile that fills up his whole face and you can’t help but notice how handsome he looks.
You nod and scurry to the opposite side of the hallway, realizing that you’re still trapping him in the doorway of the bathroom. You watch him walk into what you can only assume is his room and go back into the living room, waiting for him on the couch. 
You’re thankful for him needing to take a few minutes because you need some time yourself as well. The fact that this man is the same boy that you grew up alongside is a lot to wrap your head around. 
The two of you have always gotten along. He was a sweet kid even though all he did was follow you around at any moment he could. He was funny and probably one of Hansol’s most respectful friends which you appreciate, given that his friend group was all just a bunch of rowdy boys, but you’ve never thought about him like that in all the time that you knew him. 
Over the years, there have been a few times where you’d see him in pictures your mom would email or mail to you whenever you were somewhere for a long period of time. The last time you’d come home for the holidays was three years ago and you saw Chan briefly, but from what you recall, he just looked like some guy to you when you had seen him. He did not look like this then and he certainly hadn’t been this good-looking growing up or maybe you would have entertained something with him. 
That thought is only fleeting and you have to calm your heart (and your pussy) from reacting to seeing him like this. He’s still your little brother’s best friend and he’s now your roommate, and in no way can anything happen. That is messy on so many levels. 
This sudden onslaught of want has to be because you’re just that desperate for a romantic connection with someone. Or you just need to get laid. Trying to maintain any semblance of a relationship in your line of work proved to be harder than you’d think.
For the past almost 10 years of working in the sky, you’ve had your fair share of hookups here and there. Your last was a fun, albeit messy, fling with a new pilot you were often on the same flights with named Kevin. He was handsome and funny and easy to get along with, but that didn’t end well, seeing how he got right to work hooking up with all the other flight attendants on his flights. You weren’t sure if commitment in the form of officially being boyfriend and girlfriend was what you wanted with him, but you had gone out of your way to make sure you weren’t sleeping around or seeing other people when the two of you got together. He didn’t agree with that.
Before Kevin, there was another flight attendant you were often on the same flights as. Krystal was sweet and the two of you had grown close, but she wanted to keep your relationship a secret from everyone all of the time. You had known going into it that you were still in a time where people were weird about queer people, but you also didn’t care that much. She did though, and ended up calling it off mostly due to paranoia.
Then there was the wealthy businessman, Jacob. He was an amazing guy and an even more amazing lay, but he wanted you to quit your job and move to Canada with him. This was a bit earlier in your career so you were nowhere near ready to abandon it all. He didn’t like that and would get into huge fights with you about it until you finally broke it off.
There were other tries and fails, but the moral of the story is that dating was damn near impossible for you for most of your adult life. Now that you’re planning on finally settling somewhere, you need to get back onto the dating scene and stop lusting over someone you should not be drooling over.
Chan comes out of his room then, dressed and hair styled. He’s clad in denim jeans and a white, long-sleeved shirt and somehow your eyes still sweep over him as if he’s still standing in front of you in a towel. 
He doesn’t seem to notice your ogling since he simply flashes you a wide smile and beckons you to follow him into the next room.
“So, the apartment isn’t anything too fancy. We’ve got the kitchen around the corner here; if you go through that door, that’s the balcony. There’s a couple of chairs and a drying rack out there - nothing very interesting.” He points around the simple kitchen, gesturing to the sliding door next to the fridge leading to the balcony. Chan walks in front of you again to lead you back out into the living room and you can’t help but catch a whiff of his cologne. The warm, woodsy scent makes you groan internally, and yet again, you need to check yourself.
He gestures to the living room, mentioning the entertainment center and their VHS collection. He mentions that your brother made a space for you under the sink in the bathroom for you to put some of your things. Chan points out the small closet next to the bathroom where they keep extra towels and linens and the washing machine which sits in a small nook next to that closet.
The room directly across from the bathroom belongs to Hansol, and when looking inside you see that’s obvious. Posters line the walls and CDs and books are piled on the dark wood desk in the corner. Clothes are strewn about on the floor along with a few pairs of sneakers. Since the rest of the apartment is cleaned up, clearly Hansol reserves the mess for his own space.
The second room next to Hansol’s is Chan’s. He lets you poke your head in and you’re surprised at how neat it is, much like the main area of the apartment. It’s safe to assume that Chan must be in charge of keeping things neat or at least keeping your notoriously messy brother in line. 
The last room at the end of the hall is yours. It previously belonged to Seungkwan, another one of Hansol’s best friends and their former roommate. It’s clean and neat, with a desk against the wall on one side and a made-up bed on the other. A dresser sits near the closet next to a full-length mirror. Otherwise, there’s not much else in it.
“Oh! Let me grab your bags! I should’ve offered.” Chan ignores your protest telling him not to worry about it and goes to get your suitcases anyway.
He wheels them down the hall and into your room as you grab your backpack and purse and follow behind him.
“Thanks, Chan.” He leaves your luggage by the door and smiles at you again.
“No worries, Y/n,” Chan checks his watch before announcing that he’s about to leave. “ If you need anything, Hansol should be back later this afternoon and I know he keeps the number to his work line on the fridge. I’ll probably be home in the evening, but otherwise, the apartment is yours since you live here now.” Chan waves at you as he leaves your room and you take a seat on the chair in front of the desk, listening as he collects his things and shouts another goodbye, closing, and locking the front door behind him.
The apartment is quiet when it’s just you and the temptation to sprawl out onto the bed and take a nap is so real, but instead, you force yourself up and out into the living room. You know that you should call your mom and let her know you’ve landed, but you also know she’ll talk your ear off if she answers, and you’re not really in the mood for that.
Instead, you pick up the phone on the side table and call your childhood best friend Jinah, intending to coordinate a time to meet and catch up. When she doesn’t answer you leave a message, letting her know this phone number and that you’ve made it to Seoul. There are a few other friends you need to connect with, but that can wait until later. 
For now, you decide that a hot shower is calling you. Admittedly, it takes a few minutes for you to figure out how the shower works, but when you do, you’re more than thankful for the opportunity to clear your head and finally relax. You’ve been frazzled and stressed for months leading up to quitting your career and moving back home, but now that it’s done and you’re here, you feel as though you get a little bit of breathing room.
You still have the matter of getting a new job, which Jinah will be helping you with, and eventually, you need to figure out where you’ll move after you’re back on your feet since you don’t plan on making staying with your brother permanent, but for now, the biggest hurdle of moving back across the globe has been crossed. 
After your shower, you make note of how your stomach growls, but decide to get a little unpacking done first. You already know that if you don’t at least start, your suitcases may sit in this room for days until you have the willpower to put things away. After digging your discman out of your backpack, you pop in an Aaliyah CD and get to work. 
You only get as far as folding your underwear and bras and putting those in the dresser before you’re stretching out on the bed and telling yourself you’ll only close your eyes for a moment before resuming. 
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Your head feels groggy when you open your eyes, sit up, and take in your surroundings. For a moment, you forget where you are, until you remember you’re in your new room in Seoul. Sun shines through the curtains covering your window and you spot your discman on the nightstand next to your head. 
When you poke your head out of your room, you can hear soft sounds from the TV in the living room, but before you investigate, you take a detour to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
“Look who’s returned to the land of the living!” Hansol greets you when you finally make your way into the living room. He’s lounging on the couch, watching a variety show, but quickly gets up to pull you into a hug.
“Hey, Sol. What time is it?”
“Ten.”
“In the morning?!” You blink at the window with the curtains drawn open, frowning at the sunlight coming into the room. “I got in at noon yesterday!”
Hansol chuckles as you plop onto the couch next to him. “Yep. I tried to wake you when I got home yesterday, but you just grumbled at me and turned back over. I put your discman on the nightstand so you wouldn’t knock it off or anything so you’re welcome.” 
“Damn, guess I was just that tired.”
“Yeah, Chan tried to get you up too, but you didn’t budge. He brought dinner home but not even food could get you up.” Hansol laughs, thankfully not noticing the way his words fluster you. The thought of Chan seeing you sprawled out on your bed, mouth likely open as you slept is embarrassing. You quickly have to remind yourself that he is your roommate so he’s bound to see you sleeping and to get over it.
“That explains why it feels like there’s a gaping hole in the pit of my stomach.”
“Don’t worry, there’s leftover pizza in the fridge for you. And I’m sure there’s some other stuff to tide you over until later.”
“Where’s Chan now?”
“Work. Same place I’m about to go. It’s my turn for dinner tonight so I’ll bring chicken home with me.”
“Ugh, I haven’t had good fried chicken since I was in the States and we landed in Atlanta, Georgia for a while.”
“I got you. There’s a really good place not far from the apartment.”
“You’re the best, Sol.”
“I know,” your brother boasts, getting off the couch to stretch. 
“Oh! Mom called last night for you. She’s pissed you didn’t call her when you got here.”
Letting out a groan, you roll your eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. I just didn’t have it in me to listen to her tell me a story that I’ve probably already heard ten times. I’ll call her later after I finish unpacking. I already know she’s gonna want me to come over.”
“Oh, she does. She wants us both over tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?! She didn’t even ask if that works!”
“She didn’t, but that’s because she knows I’m off work tomorrow and in her words, ‘it’s not like your sister has any obligations yet, so you can come over close to lunch.’” 
Hansol’s recounting of your mom’s words forces another eye roll out of you, but you’ll both be there and you already know it.
“I’m running to the bathroom then I’ll get ready to head out. Here, have fun.” He hands you the TV remote before disappearing into the bathroom. 
Before you can get comfortable, you pull your tired body from the couch to grab leftovers and eat before your mom calls again, inevitably nagging you about not calling her earlier.
As expected when you settle back down to call, your mom picks up the phone on the first ring and spends the next ten minutes chastising you for not calling her when you landed. You apologize multiple times, assuring her that both you and Hansol will visit her tomorrow. 
Also as expected she talks your ear off for about twenty minutes, giving you updates that you know she’ll tell you about again tomorrow. Thankfully, the mailman shows up in the middle of another story about the neighbor she’s been having a holiday decoration war with for the last three years in a row so she lets you go, saying she’s happy to see you tomorrow.
Jinah is next on your call list and she also picks up after a few rings, cheering as soon as she hears your voice, celebrating your arrival in Seoul. 
“I’m so happy we’re in the same timezone again!”
“Me too. I don’t even remember the last time we got to sit and chat.”
“I want to say it was when we were both in Spain last year. You had that day-long layover and I was out there for Fashion Week.”
“Oh, you’re right! You met that guy at that mall we went to.”
“Mmm, Ricky! He was so sweet. He still calls me sometimes. I don’t always answer, but he tries.” Jinah giggles, no doubt at some memory of her and the model she easily picked up that day.
She shifts around on the other line. “Oh damn, as much as I want to catch up with you babe, I’m about to head out for a meeting. Can we meet up tomorrow?”
“Yeah, if you can do it late in the afternoon? My mom wants me and Hansol to come over tomorrow. She already chewed my head off for not calling her when I got in.”
“Oh, Mrs. Chwe. Well, after you’re done with family time, let’s meet up! There’s a new bakery that opened in Hongdae that I haven’t tried yet. We can go together since it’s not too far from your parents’ place.”
“Please! I am craving a croissant actually.” Jinah tells you the address which you quickly write down, agreeing to meet tomorrow afternoon.
With that call over, you decide to finally bite the bullet and finish unpacking your things so you can stop thinking about it. It doesn’t take very long, seeing how your whole life was packed away in two suitcases, a backpack, and a purse. You make a mental note to do some decoration shopping for your room once you have the funds and decide to reward yourself with TV time. 
You didn’t get to catch up on many shows always being on the go, so you plan to spend your time now getting in the know and watching as many reruns as you can catch. Among other things, not being in the sky for 90% of your time will offer you the opportunity to take things much slower. You’re used to always either being on a plane, spending a few nights in hotels or short-term rental places, or rushing between all of these destinations, so you plan on doing the complete opposite with your new schedule now.
You’re stretched out on the couch, enjoying an episode of one of the new dramas everyone around you has mentioned when you fall asleep again, your eyelids unable to concentrate for long.
You don’t even realize you’ve fallen asleep until you feel yourself being slightly shaken, your eyes cracking open to see Chan staring down at you. When your eyes finally adjust you get a better look at him and note how handsome he looks in his leather jacket and beanie. Why is that even the first thing you thought?
“Hey, sleepyhead. We’re home and we have dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“Yeah, fried chicken!” You sit up, groggily rubbing your eyes and you see Hansol coming into the living room, bag in hand.
You step away to freshen up, fixing your hair and splashing some water on your face. Your brother and Chan have already set up the chicken and beer on the coffee table, taking their seats on the floor around the table as Hansol flips through TV channels.
Plopping on the floor across from Chan, Hansol pulls a can of soda out of the bag next to you, sliding it over your way. You eagerly open it, thanking him for remembering your lack of enthusiasm about drinking, and grab a piece of chicken.
“So, Y/n,” Chan starts, his full attention on you. “What brought you back to Seoul? When we talked about you moving in, Hansol told me you wanted to quit and move home, but I didn’t ask why.” 
“I was just ready for something more stable, is all. Traveling the world is fun and I didn’t hate my job - I met a ton of new and interesting people - but at some point, I just got tired of never having a true place that is mine. I mean, I’ve been doing this since I was twenty. There are only so many hotels and rental places a person can do until they get tired of the constant movement.”
“That makes sense. When I went abroad during my first year of college I got super homesick so I ended up coming back. Some of our friends said I was lame for coming back, but I don’t know, I’ve always loved Korea you know? It’s where I grew up and I feel safe and secure here. I guess I just needed time away to decide what I wanted to do.”
You nod along, understanding what he means. You didn’t know too much about Chan after you graduated and left Korea, so it was nice to learn a little more about him.
“I get that, I mean we see I’m back now after all these years. Some people just gravitate back to where they came from.”
“Yeah, I was just surprised when Hansol mentioned you coming back. I remember you being so excited after graduation because you knew what you wanted to do already and I know you just wanted to see something else other than here.” Chan smiles at you gently. The fact that he remembers how you were feeling after graduation is sweet to you.
“I was excited and I don’t regret what I chose to do. It was fun but ended up not being my end-all-be-all, which is okay. But anyway, enough about me! Hansol told me that you own a dance studio?”
“Oh, yeah. I took over my dad’s dance studio. He’s still around, but I own it. We’re talking about expanding and making it an actual dance company. People from all over Korea come to the studio, so if we can find more spaces and good instructors we can open another here and even abroad.”
“That’s amazing, Chan! You always loved to dance. I’m glad you’re able to do it full-time.” The tips of Chan’s ears redden at your compliment and he takes a long swig of his beer. 
“Thanks, Y/n.”
“Of course. I only hope that now that I’m back I can find the next thing that I want to do. My friend Jinah, I don’t know if you guys remember her, but she’s going to get me a job at the modeling agency she works at. It’ll probably just be something in the office until I find something else or figure out my next move.”
“Well, you’ve always been really smart and ambitious so I’m sure you’ll find something you’re good at now that you’re back.”
“Thank you, Chan.” You feel your face heat up at his words.
The two of you seem to share a moment where you both glance down at your food, then back up at each other every few minutes.
Hansol suddenly clears his throat as if reminding you both that he’s sitting right in between you.
“Things at my job are going well thanks for asking.”
You both snap out of whatever that moment was and recover by asking Hansol how he likes his new responsibilities, recalling the raise he got recently at work. Hansol’s worked for the same newspaper company for the past four years and you know he’s done his best to gain a good reputation at the company and that he works hard. 
You do your best to avoid the questioning look he’s passing between the two of you and instead take a big bite of the chicken wing in front of you.
“It’s good. I write movie reviews now which is cool. I get to see a bunch of movies that come out before the general public for free. It’s much better than the random articles they had me working on before this promotion.”
“I’m proud of you, Sol.” You reach over to ruffle his hair with the hand not touching your food, ignoring the groan he lets out at the action. “Maybe one day you can bring your big sister to one of these early movie showings?”
“Tch, good luck. He won’t even bring me,” Chan mumbles, taking another sip of beer.
“I’m watching movies for work, thank you very much.” Hansol rolls his eyes at the way that Chan sticks his tongue out at him playfully. “Speaking of work, Y/n, make sure you let me know soon if Jinah can’t get you into her company. We have some openings that popped up recently and I’m sure I can get you in if you need it.”
“I will. We’re gonna hang out tomorrow after we see Mom and Dad and I’ll ask her more about it then.”
The three of you spend the rest of dinner watching TV and spend more time catching up. Hansol talks about some upcoming articles he has to work on, Chan goes over more plans for expanding his father’s dance studio, and the men both question you about all the places you’ve traveled to and everything you did as a flight attendant. 
After dinner, you help clean up the trash before deciding to go to bed. Your internal clock is still readjusting to a semi-normal schedule, so you need at least a few more days before you can stay up later than 9 PM.
“Goodnight, guys,” You wave at the boys, heading down the hall into your room. You’ll take a shower in the morning - for now, you just want to rest.
Once you’re in your room, the door shut, Hansol eyes Chan as the man casts a few glimpses down the hall. He chuckles, getting his best friend’s attention.
“What?”
“Your crush is still showing, you know.”
Frowning, Chan looks between Hansol and the hallway before fixing his gaze on the TV.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Hansol scoffs at him but drops it. He knows Chan well enough to know when he’s lying through his teeth, but he won’t press it.
“Whatever you say, dude.” Hansol shrugs, announcing that he’s going to get ready for bed too. Chan stays in the living room, staring at the TV for a little while longer, but not taking in the show.
All he can think about is the fact that he is very much still into you and he’s never actually stopped. When Hansol brought up you moving in with them, he had no problem with it. You’re his best friend’s sister who needs help, of course, he wouldn’t say no. Chan figured that it would be nice to get to know you more as an adult since all of the knowledge he has of you is the person you were from middle school to high school and the things he hears Hansol or the Chwes say about what you are doing or where you are.
He knew it would be nice to catch up and spend time with you because you’ve always gotten along and you were always nice to him. He hadn’t expected his decade-old crush to creep back into his heart the moment he laid eyes on you, but it did. Chan doesn’t know what to do with these feelings so for now, he’ll squash them down the same way he has since he was ten. He’s more than used to it by now.
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“My Y/n!” 
It’s the first thing out of your mom’s mouth when she opens the front door, sweeping you up into a hug. She rocks you back and forth telling you how much she missed you.
“Wow, she never hugs me like that,” Hansol murmurs behind you as he steps inside and starts taking his shoes off.
“Oh, hush Sollie! I saw you two weeks ago. I haven’t seen your sister in two years!” 
She does end up reaching over to pull Hansol into a hug of his own, once she decides you can breathe again. Your stepdad follows a minute after, hugging you for a much more normal amount of time, but also makes sure to let you know he’s personally offended that you haven’t been home in so long.
As anticipated, your mom has a full spread of food waiting on the table and ushers you and Hansol to sit and eat. Also as expected, she gives you the third degree, wanting to know about your work, your plans, and everything in between, which includes your nonexistent love life. You appease her and keep it short and simple: you’re hearing from Jinah soon about a position, you plan on doing that for at least the next year or two to save up enough money to move into a place of your own, and you’re single and have been for months.
This turns into an almost two-hour visit. If your parents aren’t asking you about your travels or asking Hansol about his job, they’re circling back to you and the fact that ‘now that you’re home and getting situated, you can think about eventually settling down. Since you’re almost thirty.’
You keep to yourself that you have had pretty lackluster luck when it comes to dating overall, but your mom still finds opportunities to sprinkle in that she could ask around to her friends about whose sons may be single, and you tell her you don’t need the help (even though you know she’ll likely do it anyway). 
Eventually, you manage to get your parents to talk about themselves and get them to update you on things in the house they’re fixing up, how your dad is doing at work, and some new crochet projects your mom is working on.
Even though they can smother you at times, you know they both do what they do out of love - especially your mom. You did miss your parents at the end of the day and they mean well. They love you and Hansol and have missed you terribly - the latter a fact that your mom made sure to reiterate over and over again.
Before you leave, your mom repeats how happy she is that you’re back home, especially in time for the holidays, and truthfully, so are you. You love holidays because you love decorating and you love all of the themed things that come with holidays. Hansol mentions that he and Chan have never really worried about decorating their apartment, which you immediately informed him will change this year. You plan on decorating the apartment for Halloween and will turn it into a winter wonderland come November. Your brother knows you well enough not to argue and simply laughs, shrugging and telling you to go crazy.
After you finally manage to escape from your parents’ house, you and Hansol split up. He’s going to meet up with some friends and will meet you at home later, he says. You take a cab for the short ride to the coffee shop you and Jinah are meeting at and you notice you’ve arrived first when you don’t see anyone that resembles her.
You’ve only sat down for less than a minute when she sweeps into the shop with her long coat, big sunglasses, and beanie. She slips the sunglasses down her nose and peers around before meeting your eyes. A smile breaks out across her red-painted lips and she rushes over to you. She looks as pretty as she did growing up and it warms your heart. It makes complete sense that she’s such a prolific model now.
“Y/n!” She says your name when making it to the table and pulling you into a hug.
“Hey, Jinah! It’s so good to see you!”
“You too! It’s been too long and I hate it.” She pouts at you as she moves to her seat, shedding her coat, and hanging it on the back of her chair.
“I know, I know. But I’m here now.”
“You are and you’re gonna get sick of seeing me so much! Especially, if you get a spot at the company! I’m still waiting for my boss to get back to me about your resume.”
“Ugh, I hope it’s soon. I’m not picky about what’s open honestly, I just need something.”
“Well you know I’ll call you as soon as I get some info. I’m sure they’ll hire you. I’m noted as your referral and everyone loves me there!”
Before you dive into more chit chat, you pause the conversation, wanting to order coffee. Jinah takes your order and goes to the counter herself, quickly coming back with two hot cups of caffeine.
“Okay, so no more work talk. How is it living with a couple of twenty-something boys after jetsetting all around the world?”
“Not so bad really. The apartment is surprisingly clean and put together. Me and Hansol have always been close, you know so it’s good so far. And Chan is cool - we’ve always gotten along. He was always around growing up so I’m used to having him in my space anyway. He’s different now of course, but uh, yeah you know.”
You stumble, just slightly on your last sentence and something flashes in Jinah’s eyes, her perfectly waxed brows rising almost immediately. You forgot about the fact that no matter how long you two spend apart, she’s still your best friend and she knows you almost as well as she knows herself.
“He’s different?” There’s a tilt in her voice that you don’t recall having in your words.
“I didn’t say it like that!”
“Yes, the hell you did! He’s different how? All I remember about your brother’s best friend is some skinny, big-headed kid that followed us around at school and whenever I was over your house.”
You bite your lip, assessing Jinah and if there’s any way you can steer the conversation elsewhere. 
No such luck arrives for you though as she sits there, unwavering as she patiently waits for you to tell her the truth. You already know she won’t leave it alone if you don’t.
Begrudgingly, you give in, letting out a heavy sigh. “Fine, whatever, he’s fucking hot now, okay?! I’ve only been there like three days and any time I run into him he’s nothing but polite and considerate. He’s always been nice but he’s mature now. It’s just so different.”
“Hmph. So, you think he’s mature and polite and hot now? Got it.” She nods, taking a sip of her coffee, and swallowing slowly before speaking. “So do you think you’ll finally give him a chance?”
“Absolutely not! He’s younger than me and not only my brother’s best fucking friend but we’re roommates now. The level of messiness went from 80% to 180% if something goes wrong between us.”
“Yeah, but the chances of things going well also go from 80% to 180% too, right?”
“I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“But you’re both adults! What does it matter? Do you think Hansol will care?”
“I don’t know. But again, the main problem is if Chan and I only end up being a hookup or one of us wants something that the other doesn’t then living with the man will be incredibly awkward, and once again, he and my brother are best friends. Things won’t only be awkward for us, but I don’t want to drag Sol into that mess either. So it’s in everyone’s best interest that I keep my mouth and my legs closed and don’t even think about trying anything with Chan.”
Jinah hums and clearly disagrees but she doesn’t press it. Not that she has to because just like she knows you, you know her, and you know she has so many objections rattling around in her head.
“Anyway, time to hear about you! Tell me about your love life! Is it busy? Are you seeing anyone? Are you sleeping with anyone? I want to know everything about Im Jinah’s romantic endeavors.”
Your best friend clicks her tongue at you, noticing the obvious conversation redirect, but she obliges. She talks about a guy she’s mentioned to you before that she works with that she’s been on a few dates with. As an aside, she mentions that there are plenty of hot, single people at her company that you’ll run into, but you wave that part off.
She mentions that she needs to go shopping this upcoming weekend for a Halloween costume for a party a friend of hers is throwing at the end of October. She also addsthat you too, will be going to said party with her.
“I am?”
“You are. So, this weekend we’ll be getting costumes. A guy I’ve done a ton of ads and shoots with has a party every year and you’ll be my plus one! He’s super nice and pretty wealthy so his place is really nice.”
You do love Halloween and you haven’t really gotten to do much to celebrate it the last handful of years, so you agree to go, even though you knew she would’ve hounded you about going for days anyway. You saved both of you some trouble.
On the topic of Christmas, the two of you get caught up in talking about needing to figure out what to get people and when to go shopping to get ahead of it. You easily fall into conversation with your best friend, your subject changing every few minutes as you laugh and properly get caught up until you’ve both got two empty coffee cups each.
Eventually, Jinah glances at her watch and curses. 
“Damn, I’ve got another meeting to run to. My manager and I have been meeting with a few magazines for some last-minute holiday ads they want to shoot for. “I’ll be sure to badger her about any news on your resume okay?”
You and Jinah exchange your goodbyes and you promise to chat in a few days if you don’t hear from her sooner. Even though she’s busy, she cites she’ll still be sure to make time for the two of you to hang out more. You both walk out of the shop together and with a goodbye hug, you both go your separate ways. Her to grab a taxi and you to the train station to head back home.
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Chan really thought he was done with big life revelations. His last and biggest was deciding that college and a traditional degree weren’t what he wanted. After that, a bunch of smaller decisions hit him but no combination of realizations, big or small, could’ve prepared him for the fact that he’s still hopelessly in love with the same girl for the last almost fifteen years.
But seeing you again was like someone doused him with a gallon of cold water to the face. Shocking and jarring and nothing could’ve prepared him. Not for the way his eyes almost bugged out of his head upon seeing you again after what felt like far too long or the way his palms got sweaty just being close to you, even though he had just finished a shower before seeing you.
Chan was so sure that he was over you. He’s had plenty of partners over the years. Some serious and some not so much, but he doesn’t think he’s ever compared any of those people to you. It’s been years so surely he isn’t still hung up on his best friend’s older sister.
Unfortunately for him, that is exactly what he is and he’s not sure what to do with this information. A tiny voice in the back of his mind keeps telling him he’s a loser for not being over his childhood crush who has never reciprocated the feelings anyway. Never once have you made any indication that you thought of Chan the same, so it’s not as though you’re going to magically do it now…right?
His mind is so wrapped up in you that he keeps fumbling with the moves he practices at work in preparation for a dance class in a few days. He lets out another frustrated huff as he watches himself in the mirror trip over his feet yet again.
Chan’s close friend and co-choreographer at the studio walks over to the boombox at the side of the room, cutting off the music and staring him down.
“Okay, where’s your head, Chan?” Soonyoung looks at him pointedly. “You’ve been distracted since you get here and keep fucking up.” He waits for an answer, hands on his hips. 
Chan hesitates for a moment, wondering if he wants to repeat his early years - where he would tell anyone who would listen that he was in love with Y/n Chwe. This is different though, this is his friend checking on him so he decides to tell Soonyoung.
“The girl I’ve loved since I was ten is back in town.”
“Okay?”
“And I still love her.”
“And? You’re both adults now so you can do something about it right?”
“And she’s living with me. We’re roommates now.”
“And?” Soonyoung rolls his eyes, still not seeing too much of an issue with this.
“She, uh, she’s Hansol’s sister.”
Soonyoung cocks his head to the side in thought. “Okay…well what’s the problem? Hansol is super chill. Do you think he’ll be mad about it?”
“I don’t know. I know Hansol more than almost anybody, but for some reason, I’m still really stressed about how he’ll react.”
“You could always ask him?” Soonyoung tries, offering Chan a bottle of water from the cooler across the room.
“I don’t know. I mean, even if I do and he’s okay with it, what if I ask her out and she says no? She had never liked me like that when we were young. I was always just her brother’s snot-nosed best friend.”
“I get being worried about that, but you’re grown now. Maybe things can be different?”
“Yeah, but if she turns me down, I don’t want to make things awkward for us all living together. And even if I am in some bizarre universe where she is into me too, I could very well fuck this up and she’ll want nothing to do with me and we’ll break up and it’ll still be awkward and then Hansol could not want to be my friend anymore or want me to move out and then what?” Chan ends his rant with a grunt, sliding against the mirror until he plops onto the hardwood floor. Soonyoung comes over and joins him, sitting cross-legged next to his friend.
“This has really been on your mind huh?”
“Hard for it not to be when she is as beautiful as always and sleeping in the room right next to me now.”
“Well, even though I’ve never been through something like this, my advice? Maybe try to just take it slow. Hang out with her more, test the waters, and see if she reciprocates. If so, then either keep getting closer or ask her out and go from there. What’s the point in constant what-ifs you know? Maybe you’re getting a second chance now that you’re both adults and in good places in your life. And sure you might fuck it up, but you also might not. You’ll never know if you don’t try.” Soonyoung shrugs, taking a gulp of water.
Chan side-eyes his friend, genuinely surprised at his words. 
“Since when did you turn into a relationship expert with actual good advice?”
Soonyoung chokes on his water, coughing loudly to recover. “What do you mean actual good advice?! I give good advice all the time!”
“Tsk, just like that so-called, good advice you gave me that one time we went to the club and you told me I should start a dance battle with that girl that was flirting with me?”
The man looks genuinely offended, hand flying to his chest in surprise. 
“First of all, I was drunk! Second of all, that was a good idea. She said she liked dancers!”
“Yeah, but I think she meant slow, sensual dancing like we had been doing all night before you swooped in with your so-called, good advice.”
“Whatever! Don’t take my advice and pine over this woman for another decade. Just decide so you can stop fucking up this dance!” Soonyoung pushes him over, making him land on his side, but the push is more playful than anything.
While Soonyoung may not have a great track record of steering Chan in the right direction, he mulls it over for the rest of the day after getting back to practicing. He ultimately decides that maybe Soonyoung is right. He won’t do anything weird or out of the ordinary. He’ll just be himself and try to spend more time with you and hopefully be able to show you the real him. The him that’s a mid-twenties career man with a plan and a future, who’s much more mature than from when you used to know him. 
If he’s lucky, he won’t make a fool out of himself and if you’re not into him still, you’ll at least let him down gently. If he’s super lucky, you’ll feel the same way about him and he’ll finally get to call you his.
He’s not going to hold his breath, but he’ll regret it once again if he doesn’t at least try with you, unlike he failed to do when he was young and dumb.
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Getting the call three days later from Jinah that you got a job at her agency was the best news you’ve gotten in a very long time. Her boss manages to get you a role in their travel department. You’d be working with the assistants of the models to help get their travel booked, manage their transportation, and help arrange all things travel related. While you don’t have any office experience, your flight attendant experience seems to be enough to get you into the role and you weren’t about to argue with that.
As soon as you start, you consider yourself lucky that you seem to fall into the team you’re on easily. It’s not difficult to get comfortable and find your place which makes getting settled all that much simpler. Plus, the pay is decent, and even a little more than what you previously made, so you can’t complain about that.
Jinah uses the Halloween party she told you about as an excuse to go out with you again and an excuse to celebrate your job. Hansol and Chan had already gotten you a small cake to celebrate which was extremely sweet, so you don’t mind celebrating with Jinah. 
The cake, you learn in passing from Hansol, was Chan’s idea. It’s only one thing on the long list of ways that Chan has succeeded in getting closer to you over the weeks that it takes you to get settled in. You’ve spent time with Chan as a kid when he was around all the time, but you really get the chance to know him now that you’re adults living together.
You learn most, if not all of his likes and dislikes. His favorite colors, favorite foods, movies he likes, and celebrities he can’t stand (his one-sided rivalry with Lee Byunghun is especially funny to you since he also compliments his acting whenever one of his movies is on). He’s constantly making you laugh, always asking how your day was when you see each other in the evenings, and he always says good morning and asks how you slept when you get up for the day. On nights when he has to get dinner for you all, he always asks if there’s any food you're craving because he promises he’ll pick it up or make it (and he always does every time). 
On the weekends, when you’re home relaxing and sleeping in, and if he works, he has started to call home often and ask if you need him to grab anything on the way home, be it medicine, food, a video rental, or anything in between. Chan makes it a habit to check in with you even more than your brother, which Hansol calls out one night over dinner. Chan’s cheeks go red and he throws a wayward shrimp at his best friend but doesn’t deny it, citing that he just wants to help you be comfortable.
If he isn’t checking on you or buying you small things, he’s making sure your laundry is washed if he’s doing his and that your favorite mug (the yellow one with the fried eggs print all over it) is always washed. He makes sure your favorite snacks are in the apartment and that you’re never without anything you need - even finding out your preferred brand of tampons and pads and wordlessly getting them for you.
By the time the end of October rolls around, you’ve been living with Chan and your brother for a month and your feelings for Chan are only growing, much to your utter dismay. You don’t want to like him, for the multitude of reasons you’ve already outlined in your head and to Jinah, but he makes it damn near impossible. If he’s not being the most sweet and polite man you’ve ever been around, he’s walking around the apartment shirtless from time to time or coming back from the gym or work sweaty and flushed with his arms on display.
He constantly treats you like a true gentleman would, carrying groceries for you and doing any heavy lifting around the apartment that comes up. It may be the bare minimum, but Chan treats you better as someone you’re not dating than anyone you actually have dated. You’re in a constant battle between your coochie and your heart about your array of feelings for Lee Chan and it’s only serving to drive you crazier each day. 
On the night of Halloween, when Jinah is in your room with you getting ready for her friend’s party, she teases that Chan may not be able to hold himself back when he sees you.
“I don’t know, Y/n. Your ass does look really good in this jumpsuit.” You admire your figure in your mirror, admiring how the soft yet clingy fabric does, in fact, do your ass justice.
You and Jinah decided to go with a theme for your costumes. She’s going as an angel, complete with a white mini-dress, wings, and a halo. You went with a devil, the red, clingy jumpsuit you wear hugs every part of your body that you’d wanna show off and the zipper in the front is open just enough to accentuate your cleavage. The horns attached to the headband on your head sit comfortably and are the finishing touch.
Yes, you’re not supposed to want Chan to like you because it’ll make it that much harder for you, but you don’t mind the idea of him looking.
“Ready?” You ask when you’re finally done with your makeup, making sure your red lipstick is perfect.
“Yep! Let me call a car for us!” You and Jinah leave your room and she fishes her Nokia from her white bag. 
When you step into the living room, you nearly trip over your feet upon seeing Chan lounging on the couch, flipping through TV channels. You know he and Hansol are also going out tonight to their friend Junhui’s Halloween party, but you hadn’t discussed your costumes. 
His black t-shirt is as tight as your jumpsuit is and displays every muscle and ripple in his arms and chest and you even swear you can make out the faint outline of his abs. The black pants he wears are baggy since he’s dressed as a firefighter, but the fabric stretches over his thighs as he spreads his legs, and the suspenders that keep those pants up stir something feral within you. It takes every ounce of willpower not to go over and mount yourself in his lap right then and there.
Chan notices you both come in and hurries to sit up, making room on the couch for you. He seems to take notice of your costume and you watch as his eyes sweep over you from head to toe, unabashed and almost forgetting (or uncaring) that you can see him checking you out.
“Hey! You, uh, you look amazing.” He blurts, eyes still locked onto you. Jinah clears her voice from next to you and Chan seems to then remember that someone else is in the room. “Er, ah, you both do!” He adds, eyes flickering to your best friend who just snorts.
“Thanks, Chan. Our ride is here though, so I do have to steal her away now.”
“Ah, okay. Sure. I’ll see you later tonight, Y/n. Have fun and you both stay safe, okay?”
You nod, telling him to do the same. You catch sight of your brother as you and Jinah are on your way to the door. His Ghostface robe drags on the carpet as he comes down the hall.
Once you and Jinah slide into the car, and she gives the driver the address, she gives you a look.
“Don’t,” you say, stopping her before she can say what you already know she will.
“What?”
“What do you mean, ‘what’?”
“Don’t say it.”
“Don’t say what? That Chan got real-time tunnel vision checking you out in your costume and that he forgot I was even in the room.”
“Yes, that! Don’t say that!”
She shrugs, reaching into her bag and pulling out her compact to check her reflection.
“Okay. I won’t say it. I don’t really need to since you know.”
You did, of course, you did. You could feel the heat in his gaze when he looked at you, but you remind yourself that you can’t do anything more than look. Maybe if you’re lucky, someone at this party can distract you.
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Truth be told, when you longed for someone at this party to distract you from Chan, you were only putting it into the universe and just keeping your fingers crossed. You didn’t think you’d actually find someone else to catch your interest. You didn’t anticipate that Jinah’s model friend that owns the large, expertly decorated house would take an interest in you, and yet he did the moment you met him.
“Minhyuk, this is my best friend, Y/n! Y/n, this is Lee Minhyuk. Y/n just moved back to Seoul after traveling for work.”
Minhyuk wastes no time in bowing to you before grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on the top of it.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/n. Any friend of Jinah is a friend of mine.” The handsome man smiles widely at you, making you swoon on the spot. “Especially a friend as stunning as you.”
One look at this buff, beautiful man with perfect hair, perfect teeth, and a perfect face and you’re not surprised in the slightest that he’s a model. You’re sure he can get any woman that he wants and that his charms work on anyone he flashes a brilliant smile to. You’re annoyed that he’s having the same effect on you the more he talks to you and stays by your side for the first hour of the party. You chalk it up to having been single for so long and on your repressed desire for Chan, but you let Minhyuk flirt with you and drape his arm over your shoulder as he asks you about your flight attendant days.
Jinah stays with you both for a while after introducing you, but when it seems obvious that Minhyuk is making heart eyes at you, she excuses the two of you momentarily, pulling you aside.
“Hey, are you okay?!” She says as best as she can in your ear. The music from the sound system in the next room is quieter in the dining room you’re standing in, but is still turned up to a booming volume.
“Yeah, I’m good!”
“You sure? He’s hitting on you pretty hard. He’s a good guy but say the word and we’re out of here.” You mull your next words and decisions over, ultimately deciding to stay and see where things go with Minhyuk. You had asked the universe for a distraction on your way and here it is so why pass it up?
“I’m sure. If I need you or want out, I’ll tell you.” Jinah gives you another firm look before relenting and going with you back to Minhyuk’s side.
An hour later Minhyuk offers to show you around his house. Jinah stares at you, trying to gauge your reaction. You’re sure this will end up with the two of you somewhere in this house, presumably naked, but you decide that’s exactly what you need.
Minhyuk keeps his arm draped over your shoulders as she gives you a tour of his house, avoiding all of the drunken party goers and horny couples making out as you go. Almost every room in his house has people packed into it. His den, his game room, his second living room, and all four of his guest rooms. The only room that has no one else in it is his bedroom which is where you ultimately end up.
“Your house is very fancy,” you compliment, looking around his bedroom. The bed is bigger than even some of the hotel beds you’ve slept in. The duvet is soft under your palms as you sit on the edge and lean back on your hands. Art hangs on the walls and he has two dressers that you can see. You can’t see into the bathroom across the room, but the tub you catch sight of has to be able to fit at least four people.
“Thank you, I’m glad you like it. How’s the bed?” Minhyuk smirks at you from across the room, leaning against a tall dresser. The scrubs of his doctor costume are standard, save for the fact that the top is sleeveless. He crosses his arms and you see how every muscle flexes and twitches under his tan skin
“Mmm, it’s pretty soft. Your duvet is nice.” You cross and uncross your legs, watching as the model follows your movements with his eyes. 
“Yeah? The sheets are even better.”
“You don’t say?”
“Yeah. They’re real silk. And temperature controlled so they’re the perfect coolness and won’t make you hot.” As he speaks he stalks towards you, tossing aside the surgical mask that has been hanging under his chin since you met him.
“Oh? They sound expensive.”
“They are. And they feel like a cloud. Wanna feel them?” Minhyuk is standing in front of you now, his knee resting against the edge of the bed between your legs, waiting for your next words.
You don’t leave him waiting for long, as you breathe out an “I’d love to,” and he immediately bends forward, hands grabbing your face to pull you into a heated kiss. Your hands reach out to grasp at his arms, nails lightly digging into the firm flesh.
Minhyuk grunts into your mouth, fully climbing onto the bed to hover over your body. One hand stays on your cheek while the other travels down your body, grabbing and squeezing as he settles on your hip. 
His tongue slips into your mouth when you separate your lips to take in a breath. Your bodies move together as you shuffle backward up the bed a little, giving him more room to drape his body over yours and kneel between your legs. He presses his pelvis forward, the movement causing him to brush against you, the clothed tip of his hardening length grazing your crotch.
The sensation makes him groan and pause for a moment, his tongue and body stilling. A jolt of confidence rushes over you, making you shift underneath him and flip him onto his side. You quickly push him all the way onto his back and crawl into his lap.
“Mmm maybe I like this view more than you under me,” he mumbles, admiring the new position. He only gets a moment to take it in before you’re leaning down to kiss him again, your fingers brushing through his dark hair. Minhyuk’s hands move down your back to grip your ass.
Your make out session lasts for a few minutes, your mind finally slipping away from everything else that has been tumbling around in your brain. At some point, Minhyuk pulls away with a gasp and quickly peels his top off, tossing it aside before leaning back and letting you ogle him.
Your mouth drops at the sight of him, all chiseled muscle and rippling abs. You gawk for only a moment before your brain decides to remind you of the way that Chan looks without a shirt. He’s also muscular but in a much softer way. Chan’s abs are lightly defined and his pecs are still visible. You also always find your way back to thinking of that day when he had just gotten out of the shower, of the small happy trail that runs down, down, down to where you can’t see. You wonder how soft that dusting of hair is.
Minhyuk momentarily pushes away your Chan imagery when he reaches up to grab your face to pull you back down to kiss him again. Your hands stretch out to steady yourself, finding purchase on his biceps. The hard muscles twitch under your fingers and you squeeze in return. Immediately, you’re reminded of how soft Chan’s biceps and arms are. 
A week ago the two of you had run into each other in the hallway of the apartment. You were leaving when he was rounding the corner, coming back from the gym. He had a tank top on and when he appeared in front of you, you both jumped, yelping in surprise. You had reached your hands out by instinct, with the intention of doing what you’re not sure, but when you noticed it was Chan at the last minute your hands unfurled from fists and gripped his arms to steady yourself. 
His arms were built, but still so soft and smooth under your hands. That feeling has stayed with you even now as you think about Chan and his arms while another man is kissing your neck.
All of a sudden, you wonder what it would feel like if Chan was the one that was under you and if he was the one whose lips were pressing kisses on your throat instead.
Minhyuk’s fingers walk their way to the front of your jumpsuit and he flicks at the zipper that keeps your outfit secure. Before he has a chance to unzip it, his bedroom door bursts open and a woman stands in the doorway, yelling his name angrily.
The intrusion makes you jump, jerking too far back and toppling backward onto the floor.
“Shit, Y/n! You okay?!” Minhyuk jumps up and offers you his hand, being nice enough to at least check on you.
“Minhyuk, what the fuck?!” The woman screeches again, stomping over to him and shoving his chest. “I’ve been walking around this stupid party looking for you for like half an hour! You invited me tonight just to run off and fuck someone else?!” 
“Hyoseong, I’m sorry, I-” Hyoseong cuts him off by shoving him backward, making him lose his balance and fall back onto the bed. He’s too close to the corner of the bed though, because he keeps going and falls back off the side, yelping the whole time.
Hyoseong smirks, satisfied as she watches him before turning her gaze to you still standing there awkwardly. The flame in her eyes diminishes and is replaced with concern. 
“He’s not worth it, I promise. All he knows how to do is fuck every girl he looks at and lead you on!” She screams that last part at him before turning and storming back out of the room. 
Embarrassment is written all over Minhyuk’s face as he scrambles up and gives you a sheepish smile. He opens his mouth to say something, but you speak first.
“Don’t even try it.” You stick your palm out at him, stopping him from responding.
He listens, not saying anything as you leave the room and beeline back downstairs in search of Jinah. You find her in the kitchen talking to a few other girls and when she sees you, she immediately rushes over to you, worry written all over her face. You reassure her that you’re okay and tell her about Hyoseong and she gasps.
“Fuck, I thought they broke up! Ugh, Y/n, I’m so sorry. I’ll go kick his ass right now!” She looks over your shoulder for him, but you stop her. This is clearly a story you’ll have to ask her about on another day. Right now, all you want to do is go home, shower, and flop into bed.
She doesn’t let you convince her to stay and have fun and is already calling a car for you both. You ride together and you tell her what was going through your head when you were hooking up with Minhyuk and she just nods, letting you pour out your garbled thoughts.
Of course, her response is to act on these feelings, but you quickly shut that down, reminding her of the list of reasons that you cannot act on said feelings. As she’s gotten accustomed to doing, she rolls her eyes and tells you that you’re thinking too much into this.
The conversation dies when you pull up at home, thanking her for the ride and hurrying out before she can keep bringing it up.
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Chan is fucked. That’s all he thinks when he and Hansol get to Junhui’s party. Ever since you left, all that his brain plays on a loop is you in that red jumpsuit. It is long sleeved and the bottom of the pants are flared, but the fabric hugs you in every way imaginable. The only things he wanted to look at was the curve of your hips, the swell of your breasts, and the way it framed your ass as you left. 
He knows that the image of you in that costume is all he’ll think about for not only the rest of the night but quite possibly for the rest of his life. He did his very best not to make it obvious he was checking you out, but in his defense, he swears he also saw your eyes stay too long on his chest and his thighs. 
As the month has ticked by living with you, Chan has only fallen for you even more than he thought was possible. Everything you do and say makes his heart race. Every time he sees you, he wants to hold and kiss you, no matter what time of day it is. You look just as beautiful waking up as you do going to sleep. 
He’s whipped and he hasn’t even told you that he’s still in love with you.
He knows he only has eyes for you because he spends the first hour of the party talking with his friends and sipping on a drink, but he still keeps going back to you in his mind. He knows he is especially hopeless when a cute girl approaches him and asks him to dance. He forgets her name as soon as she says it (Yerim maybe?) and even though she looks incredibly sexy in her little black dress and cat ears, the only thing Chan can see is you when he closes his eyes.
Even when she drags him to the living room to dance and presses her body close to his, he wishes it was you that was rubbing your ass against his crotch. Chan wonders what you’re doing right now and if you’re dancing with someone else just like this. He beats himself up at the thought, chiding himself for not asking you to come to this party instead or even to stop by after the one you’re at now. Even though Jinah asked you to her friend’s party first, he still should’ve brought it up, but he was too nervous you’d turn him down. He hates the idea of you looking that stunning and having other people look at you or touch you. He wants you so bad, in any way you’ll have him, and he doesn’t care how pathetic that sounds.
The cat girl seems to take notice that Chan is distracted as his arms lay limp on her hips. She turns around, draping her arms around his neck and pressing her tits against his chest. Her wide brown eyes blink up at him and her black painted lips curl up in a smile. She’s really cute, Chan can admit - like really cute - but she’s also not you. Before he can think anymore, she’s on her tiptoes, placing a kiss on his lips. 
Any other time, he doesn’t think he’d turn down a cute girl that is so obviously into him and he certainly wouldn’t turn away from a kiss, but this time is different. This time, Chan only thinks of you and wishes this was you. That’s why he doesn’t make much effort to kiss her back. Not a single spark pops between him and the cat girl. She quickly gets tired of his lack of enthusiasm, soon pulling away and turning in a huff to leave him standing in the middle of the living room. 
Chan watches her go, his eyes looking around the room and it hits him how much he doesn’t actually want to be here. He’d much rather be back at home, sitting on the couch with you watching late night sitcoms like the two of you have fallen into the habit of doing. 
He’s only at the party for a couple of hours, before he finds Hansol in the kitchen, letting him know that he doesn’t feel very party-like anymore and decides to go home. Hansol is right in the middle of racing with their friend Seokmin, trying to shotgun a beer faster than him, but when he wins, he gives Chan his attention.
“Are you sure? You want me to go with you?”
“Nah, I’m good. Stay. I’m just gonna shower and probably chill.”
“Alright, dude. Can you just keep an eye out for Y/n when you get back?”
Hansol doesn’t have to ask twice. Even if he hadn’t asked once, Chan would’ve looked out for you anyway. It’s why after he’s showered and gotten a snack, he goes to the couch instead of his bed. He assumes you won’t be home until it’s late, but if he’s lucky he’ll catch a glimpse of you before you go to bed and will make sure you’re safe.
He’ll also get one more look at your costume which isn’t as important as making sure you’re safe, but it’s absolutely something he’s looking forward to.
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When you get home, you’re surprised to see that the TV in the living room is on. When you round the corner you see Chan sitting on the couch, under a blanket with popcorn in hand and eyes wide in surprise at seeing you.
“Hey, Y/n! You’re home early.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t really feeling like being at a party anymore. Too people-y. I’m surprised you’re here though.”
Chan shrugs, “I guess I wasn’t feeling like being at a party either.”
You hum, glancing at the space on the couch he makes for you. “I’m gonna shower and put on my pajamas. Mind if I hang out here with you when I’m done? I’m not that tired yet.”
“Yeah! I mean, uh, yeah of course you can.” He clears his throat, eyes still flickering between you and the TV.
“Great. I’ll be quick and then we can watch a movie?” Chan nods and shamelessly watches you go when you hurry down the hall and into the bathroom. 
You remove your makeup and shower faster than you think you ever have, eager to spend the evening with Chan.
Once your most comfortable pajamas are on, you join him, plopping next to him on the couch. 
“So, what’re we watching?”
“Scream?”
“Oh, yes! Both of them?”
“Sure.” 
Chan starts the movie already in the VCR and passes you the bowl in his hands which you eagerly accept. As the movie goes on, you both start on your respective sides of the couch. It isn’t until you’re halfway through the first movie that you have half a mind to notice that your leg brushes against Chan’s each time you adjust. At first, you jump at the contact, and he seems to as well, both of you shifting away embarrassedly.
That only lasts for a small amount of time though, because by the end of the movie, you’re both close again and the bowl of popcorn you’ve been sharing is empty. After Chan gets up and puts in the second movie, he comes back to the couch and sits down, this time close enough that your thighs touch and neither of you moves.
You continue to stay close to one another as you watch the movie and eventually, you’re so close that you’re practically cuddling. You’re not, but you may as well. Seeing how at some point, you end up falling asleep with your head on Chan’s shoulder and his arm draped around your waist.
You only know this to be the case when you’re woken up sometime later, Hansol’s voice rousing you out of your sleep. When you open your eyes, the first thing you see is Ghostface staring down at you, causing you to scream, jolting into Chan’s lap and making the man jolt awake too. His eyes meet Ghostface standing in front of you both, also making him shriek and grasp onto you for protection.
Hansol lets out a chuckle, and lifts the mask, taking in the terror written on his roommates’ faces. 
“It’s just me.”
“Jesus, Sol! You could’ve taken the damn mask off before you scared the shit out of us.”
You toss a pillow at him, hitting him in the gut, but he doesn't flinch. 
“Nah this was more fun.” He dodges the second pillow that Chan tries to smack him with and says goodnight to you both as he sprints down the hall.
Once he’s gone, you both realize that you’re still partially in Chan’s lap and he still has an arm around you. You sit up quickly, sharing an awkward laugh with him as you get up, announcing that you’ll start to clean up. Chan helps and you tidy up the living room and cut the TV off, refolding the blanket you shared and saying goodnight before you go your separate ways to your rooms. 
Your words are awkward, but neither of you can get over how warm and right it felt being so close. You tell yourself to forget it as you get into bed, reminding yourself that you can’t do that again.
Meanwhile, Chan can’t help but wonder if you’re thinking about him too, just like he’s thinking about you and the way you smell and how much he wants to hold you like that again one day.
He’s not sure if that’ll be a reality for him, but he can only hope so.
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November is halfway over when you think that maybe you can finally, fully and unabashedly admit that you like Lee Chan. After Halloween night when you fell asleep together, you’ve only been spending more time with him and getting to know more about him. The problem is, the more you get to know Chan, the more you’re unable to ignore the rapidly growing crush on him.
You want to date him and have sex with him and kiss him. You want to hold his hand when you're grocery shopping or if you’re both in the same room. You want to hug him when you’re sitting next to each other on the couch or on the floor. You want to sleep in the same bed with him, cuddle against his chest, and wake up next to him the following morning.
You admit this to Jinah one day over lunch and she isn’t the least bit surprised. She’s stopped being so enthusiastic about you admitting your feelings for and to Chan, but you already know that’s what she wants to tell you to do whenever you talk about him or she sees you looking at him if you’re all in the same room.
It gets worse when you and Chan spend a day together decorating the apartment for Christmas. He helps you get the tree - a small plastic, realistic looking one since none of you want to deal with the work of a real one - decorate it, and hang up other decorations around the apartment. It all feels so incredibly domestic, similar to all of the cheesy rom coms you’ve had to watch on long flights around this time of year. Of course Hansol is there helping too, but he doesn’t seem to get in between the two of you when you stand too close or reach for the same ornaments. 
Well, it’s more likely that he literally doesn’t even notice, but it’s still very cozy and special nonetheless. 
Either way, Chan only continues to prove himself as the sweetest, most caring man you’ve ever been around and it’s only serving to stoke the fire that is your feelings for him. It was getting harder and harder to separate those feelings until you simply can’t deny them anymore. 
You’re not alone in this want and desire. Every day that Chan has to see you and spend time with you, he only falls for you more. He thought his feelings were rough to grapple with when he was a kid, but this is different. Now that he’s spent so much time with you as adults, getting to know any and everything about you, it only cements his love for you into his heart.
This only makes things harder for him. He’s been trying to take Soonyoung’s advice and show more of the true him to you and he can’t tell if it’s working or not. You seem to enjoy being around him and he knows that at times he’s seen your eyes stray over his body. It’s not enough to make him brave enough to make any moves yet, but he thinks about it constantly. What if he’s reading the signals wrong? What if you’re just really nice and a good roommate and you don’t feel anything remotely romantic for him?
It’s that doubt and fear that has him keeping his mouth shut. Instead, he just constantly thinks about every part of you that he likes (which is everything, to be honest). He thinks about how pretty you are and how soft your skin is. He’s been lucky enough to accidentally knock into you or brush arms or thighs on occasion and every time he feels electricity throughout his body. He constantly thinks about how good you smell and how he can rank a list of all of his favorite outfits that you own. He thinks about your smile and your laugh and the way your expressions change when you experience different emotions.
Lee Chan is in love with you. Always has been and at this rate, probably always will be. He wants to be with you in every way possible. You’re always on his mind, but when he’s in bed, with only a single wall separating you both, he can’t help but think of other things that he likes about you.
Like how pretty your lips are when he sees you wrap them around a bottle or lick stray food from your fingers. Or how tempting your legs look when the heat in the apartment is a little too warm and you wear small sleep shorts. Or even the sound of your voice when you talk to him. He can imagine so easily how soft and breathy your voice could sound while you say his name if he was between your legs in either your bed or his.
Chan thinks about all of these things so much more when he wraps his hand around his aching cock and jerks off, wishing that it was your hand, or mouth, or pussy around him instead. He thinks about how much he’d love to watch you fall apart for him and only him. 
When he cums all over himself with a whisper of your name on his lips, he starts to feel a little guilty for thinking of you like this but reminds himself that it’s just fantasies and he’s not acting on anything.
Little does he know that you want him to act on all of those things and more. He’s on your mind most nights too and you can’t help but slip your fingers between your legs. You think about his laugh and his wonderful smile and how high pitched his moans probably are and how stunning you know he’d look under you while you ride him. When your fingers are buried inside of yourself knuckle deep, you want so badly for it to be him and his fingers or his cock. 
You have similar conflicting feelings after you fall apart, biting down on your lip to stop from crying his name. Guilt washes over you after the orgasm haze lifts and you scold yourself for thinking of him like this when you specifically tell yourself not to. That lasts for a bit until you remind yourself that it’s not like you can act on any of these fantasies so they’re better off as just that.
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It's Thursday when snow starts to fall and cover the city of Seoul. You don’t mind too much. You can’t remember the last time you were in a place where you’d have the potential of a snowy Christmas, so you weren’t complaining too much.
Saturday is when the snow stops and sits on the ground like a fresh blanket. Your original plan is to lounge around the apartment and enjoy a day of nothing, the book you’ve been meaning to finish in hand when the phone rings. Your plans are rerouted when Hansol announces that you’re all going ice skating. Seungkwan and his partner want to go to the new outdoor skating rink that recently opened, but they want to invite all of you. You’re prepared to turn down the invitation because you’re cozy and you don’t even know how to skate, until Chan, who’s on the couch next to you playing his Game Boy, looks up and nods. He gives you a sidelong glance to see what your answer will be. The excited look on his face is enough for you to agree.
Half an hour later the three of you are in Hansol’s car and driving to the rink. Seungkwan and his partner are there when you arrive along with their other friend Seokmin who you recognize a little but from high school. Everyone eagerly lines up at the booth to get their rental skates and you lag behind. Chan notices and moves to stand next to you, asking if you’re okay.
“I’m fine I just, I don’t actually know how to skate.”
“Wait, really? Why didn’t you mention that earlier?”
You shrug, taking a step as the line moves. “I don’t know. Everyone seemed excited to come so I didn’t wanna ruin it.” That’s partially true. You also just wanted to spend time with him, but you keep that to yourself.
“Well don’t worry, I’ll help you.”
“Ah, you don’t have to-” 
“Nope. I wasn’t asking! I’m telling you that I’ll help.” He gives you a wide smile that makes you melt just as fast as the snow piled under your feet.
When it’s finally your turn for your skates, you ask for your size and Chan insists on paying for your rental with his, ignoring how many times you object. He leads you both to a bench on the side of the rink and helps you lace up your skates. Once they’re on and secure, you adjust your scarf and gloves and wait for him to finish putting his on.
Chan stands first and offers you his gloved hand which you take without much thought. Slowly, he leads you to the entrance of the rink, letting you slowly step out as he skates backward. As soon as your foot makes contact with the ice you almost feel your balance give out, but Chan keeps a strong grip on your hands, helping keep you upright.
“I won’t let you fall. Promise.” He smiles at you again, this time soft and warm and the gesture feels like a comforting hug. 
You and Chan do an entire lap around the rink, albeit slowly, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Hansol has already passed you both numerous times, as has Seungkwan, but Chan doesn’t pay them any mind. All of his attention is locked on you and only you.
You manage to do a few more laps, your legs feeling more confident each time. Chan keeps skating backwards with his hands on you, the two of you falling into conversation and laughing the more comfortable you get with him ferrying you around the ice.
Things are going well. Your time with him feels so incredibly right. He seems to be enjoying it too because at some point he shortens the gap between both of you and moves his hands from around yours to your forearms, your biceps, and eventually, his hands are around your waist and yours are draped over his shoulder. The closeness is not exactly normal for two roommates who  are not romantically involved, but neither of you moves away.
Your cheeks, nose, and lips are so cold that eventually, you’re ready to call for a break, but then you notice how close Chan is and how red his lips are. He looks cold too and you wonder what will happen if you lean forward and close the already lessening gap. 
Chan’s eyes flicker up from your feet to your eyes, and then your lips. You hold your breath in that moment and look between his lips and his eyes. Something between the two of you stirs and you swear you see him inching his face closer and closer. 
Before you can finally kiss Chan like you’ve been daydreaming about for the past 2 and a half months, you shift on your left foot which proves to be a horrible idea. You’re falling backward faster than you and Chan can register. You attempt to put your hands back to break your fall which helps because you don’t fall on your ass but you do land on your left wrist with more force than you thought. A sharp, shooting pain runs from your wrist to your elbow making you yelp in pain.
“Y/n!” Chan drops to his knees to check on you and Hansol is at your side in seconds. 
“I’m okay, I think I fucked up my wrist though.” They both help you up, each man on either side of you to get you off of the ice. They sit you on a bench and Chan takes off your skates, then his before sprinting to the bench you both started at that still has your boots.
The rest of your group joins you to check in and you notice a few other skaters looking in your direction. In between the pain in your wrist, you feel utter mortification at all of the attention and the way that you busted your ass in front of everyone. Especially given the fact that you swear that you were so close to kissing Chan.
When he comes back with your boots, Chan helps you stand up and announces that he and Hansol will take you to the hospital. You try to object, but they don't want to hear it.
So, you end your day sitting in the hospital getting a wrist brace put on. The doctor says it’s only a mild sprain and all you need to do is wear your brace and use your wrist as little as possible for at least two weeks and you should be just fine. 
Even though Chan is in the room when the words “mild sprain” leave the doctor’s mouth, he still treats you as if you have two broken legs and a concussion. He insists on helping you out of the hospital and car and into the apartment. When you sit on the couch he makes sure to prop the throw pillows up under your arm to keep your wrist elevated. 
“Chan, my arm won’t fall off.”
“I know, but the doctor recommended keeping it elevated, remember? Now are you hungry? I think we have some leftovers, or if you want me to go out and grab something I can.” He stares at you concerned, waiting for your next order.
Shaking your head you slide over on the couch and gesture to the cushion. “Chan, I promise I’m fine. All I need is for you to sit down and just relax. I ruined skating so try and enjoy the rest of your Saturday.”
“Hey, you didn’t ruin anything! It was an accident. I’m just happy you’re okay.” Chan’s hand lifts and hovers over your good hand sitting on the cushion between the two of you. It’s only for a second because he seems to rather quickly decide against it, letting his hand land in his lap.
He doesn’t think you notice, but you do and it stings, just a little. 
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Despite the awkwardness that lingers now and again between you and Chan over the next week, he still insists on taking care of you. He ignores your protests for the first two days, so you end up just giving in. You let him do any simple lifting around the apartment, even going as far as to carry your food for you at mealtimes. He’s already been doing a lot of small favors and nice things for you, but he does it even more as your wrist heals. It’s both overwhelming and the most flattering thing anyone has ever done for you.
It’s not helping your emotional battle with your feelings for him in the slightest, but you’re ready to give up and accept it. You’re not sure if he feels the same or not. He was the first to initiate what you truly thought was about to be a kiss at the skating rink, but since that failed spectacularly, you feel like he’s also pulling away a little bit. To you, your relationship has only deepened since you moved in and you two were becoming closer and closer. Now though, even though he practically waits on you hand and foot, he still does it in the most platonic way possible, if that’s even possible. So, feelings you harbor for him aside, you’re stuck holding them to yourself in a vice grip.
Working with your wrist sprained is annoying, to say the least. Your role involves computer and phone usage which isn’t impossible, it just makes you a little slower at doing your day to day since everything has to be done with one hand.
When you hit the middle of your second week in the brace, you feel like your wrist will heal closer to the two weeks. That means that if you’re lucky, you only have three days left to suffer in the brace. You wonder if that means things between you and Chan will continue to change even further, but do your best to fight the spiral you’re about to go on. You’re just happy work is done for the day and you can relax.
“Sol!” When you walk into the apartment it’s the first thing you yell out, waiting for your brother to answer.
“Yeah?”
“Did I get a package today?!” Your very first set of business cards that your boss ordered for you a few weeks ago were supposed to arrive today. Hansol stayed home due to a stomach bug, so he was responsible for getting the mail. It wasn’t anything particularly fun, but you were still excited for your own business cards nonetheless.
“That depends; did you pick up the medicine I asked you to get?” He calls back. You roll your eyes as you kick your shoes off and gently remove your crossbody bag. 
“And what if I said I didn’t? What’re you gonna do? Hold my package for ransom in your room?”
“Maybe. Or I hid it somewhere in the apartment and now you have to play hide and seek for it.” He chuckles.
“Hansol Vernon Chwe, if you don’t give me my mail, I will literally take your Game Boy and shove it up my - oh.” Your threat to Hansol vanishes the second you turn the corner into the living room and see a man on your couch that you don’t know. A handsome man at that. 
A very handsome man.
“What was that?” Your brother teases you, seeing the way you blink back wordlessly at his friend.
“Nothing, shut up. Here’s your medicine, nerd.” You snap out of it and toss the paper bag at your brother on the couch. 
“Thanks. Your package is in your room on your desk.” 
“Thanks,” you nod, your eyes shifting back to the man on the couch who’s just been smiling politely at you since you entered, chuckling at your sibling spat.
“This is Joshua, by the way.” Hansol finally says, gesturing to the man next to him. “Josh, this is my sister I told you about.”
“Yeah, I remember her. Hey, Y/n,” Joshua waves at you, his smile lowering but you still notice the way the corners of his lips quirk.
“You remember me?” You ask as you try and wrack your brain for any Joshuas from your past. “Oh! Joshua Hong?!” The minute you remember him, you’re even more shocked at how good looking he is. The once lanky, awkward looking transfer student that your brother befriended in his first year of high school even though Joshua is older than him, is now so much different. He’s filled out more, the t-shirt he’s wearing hugging his torso in the most distracting way possible. His jaw is defined, his hair longer and a soft shade of reddish-brown. He looks like a completely different person in your eyes.
What the fuck is going on with all of your brother’s friends? Why were they all suddenly so goddamn hot?!
“That’s me. It’s been a while, huh?”
“I mean yeah, try almost a decade?” You sit on the couch on the other side of Hansol to catch up. “What have you been up to?”
“Oh, nothing much. I’m finishing my last year of school. I’m getting my bachelor of medicine right now.”
“You’re going to be a doctor?!” You’re surprised, to say the least. From your memory, you can’t remember Joshua being interested in the medical field, but at the same time, you didn’t really know Joshua well enough to recall too much about him.
He lets out a sheepish laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah. I’ll be doing pediatrics. I didn’t anticipate that I’d get into pediatric medicine initially, it’s just what I fell into and I love it.” God, he’s incredibly fine and he’s going to be a doctor? You’ve completely forgotten what you were planning on doing when you get home. 
The front door opens then, Chan arriving home from work too. When he comes into the living room he freezes, surprised at the third person on the couch.
“Shua hyung?” 
“Hey, Chan!” 
“What’re you doing here?”
“Ah, my apartment building is being exterminated and I need to be out for two days and Hansol  is gracious enough to let me crash on your couch till it’s done.”
Chan nods, not minding too much until his eyes flicker to you. He immediately notices the way you look at Joshua. He looks at you enough to know most of your facial expressions and the way your eyes inspect Joshua makes it clear you’re looking at him in the complete opposite of a platonic way.
Chan feels something unpleasant stirring in the pit of his stomach that he can’t shake.
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It turns out Joshua is much more than just a doctor-to-be with a pretty face the more you talk with him. It should’ve been a little more awkward getting to know him, but it really wasn’t. You have a lot in common and he’s incredibly interesting and charming. He’s easier to get along with than you had anticipated. The two of you end up spending time together while he’s staying over and he also insists on helping you when he can even though, as you remind all of the men in the house, it’s just a minor wrist sprain.
You are lucky that he’s studying medicine because he inspects your wrist while he’s staying with you and reaffirms what the doctor at the hospital said. It’s not that serious and you should be free by the end of the week. Joshua’s hands are so much bigger than yours and they’re so very warm. The way he cradles your injured wrist is delicate and he handles you like the smallest flower. His sweet gestures make you feel warm all over anytime he says something kind to you or helps you.
He’s only on your couch for two days, but it’s long enough that you’re drawn to him. It helps that he is probably one of the most gorgeous men you’ve ever seen, but his personality makes him almost too good to be true. Or you’re just incredibly desperate for someone to give you attention since it seems like Chan has taken a step back from being your nurse or growing closer to you. It hurts a bit, but having Joshua around feels nice and makes you feel a little more cared for.
When it’s the day that Joshua is supposed to be leaving, you both get back from work at the same time. You chat with him while he puts the pillowcase and blanket he used in the laundry and goes into the bathroom to make sure he’s packed all of his toiletries. 
As you walk him to the door he thanks you again for letting him stay. Before he leaves though, he stops and takes a few seconds before turning back to you, surprising you.
“Hey, Y/n, I know this will seem completely out of nowhere, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but would you let me take you out sometime?”
You blink back at him, mouth opening into a surprised ‘o.’ 
“No pressure of course! And I won’t be upset if you say no. You’ve only really been getting to know me for two days, so I wouldn’t blame you at all if it’s a no.”
Even though Joshua seems like an absolute gentleman and has been nothing but nice to you, you still can’t help but pause. Your track record with dating has historically not been very good. Hell, even your last attempt at a hookup failed miserably. Plus, Joshua is another one of your brother’s friends. He’s only a couple of years younger than you, and sure, he doesn’t live with you, but you’d hate to be the reason that any of Hansol’s friendships get ruined.
“Joshua, you’re really sweet, but I’m Hansol’s older sister. I don’t know how he’d feel about that.”
“Okay, that’s a very fair hesitation, but if it helps, I asked Hansol this morning if I could ask you out and he said, and I quote, ‘Sure, whatever. Just make sure you don’t hurt her or I’ll tell Seungcheol.’” Joshua laughs, shrugging at you. You recognize that name as being Hansol’s oldest friend. You didn’t talk much when you were in school, but you remember him being mildly popular and feared by many. 
You return his laugh and can’t help but wonder if Hansol would feel the same if you and Chan dated.
Shaking your head, you brush the thought away. One date can’t hurt - it’s not like Joshua is asking you to be his girlfriend. You and Chan are still in an odd place right now anyway. You’re not really sure how to gauge him right now, and he isn’t making any moves to change that. Sure you don’t know Joshua very well but that’s what dates are for right? 
“Okay,” you finally say. “But after I get this stupid brace off. I will see my doctor tomorrow afternoon and I should get an all clear.”
The smile Joshua gives you is lethal and makes your palms sweaty. “Of course. After you take your brace off. I’d want you to be feeling completely better so you can enjoy yourself.” His words make your face heat up, suddenly feeling shy. “What do you say I pick you up tomorrow at six?”
“Sure, that works for me.”
“It’s a date then,” Joshua offers you one more look before he’s out the door and on his way.
Once he’s gone, you bring your hands to your cheeks, cursing yourself for getting so flustered around a guy you barely know, no matter how perfect he looks. To get your mind off of Joshua, you shower and get ready for the evening before deciding you’ll order a pizza and call Jinah to tell her about your date tomorrow.
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“So how’s it going with Y/n?” Soonyoung asks Chan as they clean up and prepare to lock up the dance studio at the end of the day.
“It’s…going I guess.” 
“I assume this means it’s going absolutely nowhere?” Chan narrows his eyes at Soonyoung, ignoring the way his friend laughs at him.
“It was going somewhere. And then I made her break her wrist and now everything is weird.”
“Oh yeah I remember you said that, but you also said that she was about to reciprocate when you almost kissed, was she not?” 
“I mean, yeah I think so, but she’s also been flirting with Joshua since he got here and he’s definitely been flirting back. What if I’m wrong and she wasn’t actually going to kiss me back?”
Soonyoung lets out a sigh behind Chan, watching as his younger friend visibly agonizes over his thoughts and self-doubt. 
“Chan, listen, I’m going to be honest with you okay?”
“Why am I worried…”
“Because I’m about to tell you the truth!” Soonyoung waits for Chan to lock the studio door and turns to look at him. “You need to decide what you want to do. Either you’ll keep doing this weird will-they-won’t-they with her and not tell her how you feel and probably stress over her for the rest of your life or you tell her and see what happens. I know you’re worried about what she’ll say or how she’ll react, but is that better or worse than letting this eat you up forever?”
Chan scoffs, both options are terrible and he hates them equally, but at the same time, he really has to decide. Either option makes him uncomfortable and unhappy, but Soonyoung has a point, he’s just not sure which is the lesser of the two evils.
“I don’t know…”
“Well, I think you should think about it again and figure it out. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with flirting unless she actually becomes his girlfriend or something, right?”
Chan mumbles something that even he finds unintelligible, but Soonyoung doesn’t press him to repeat himself. They walk the short distance to the parking lot on the side of the studio and bid each other goodbye, Soonyoung wishing him luck again.
Chan spends the entire drive home in silence, weighing the pros and cons of telling you how he feels versus not telling you. He’s had this internal battle with himself since you moved in and it’s always the same in each category. 
You may hate him. He’ll make living with you awkward. He’ll fuck up his friendship with Hansol.
All the same negative scenarios play on repeat. The only pro (and the biggest, to be clear), would be that you feel the same for him or you’ll at least want to give him a chance. For Chan, it comes down to how much of a risk he wants to take here.
He’s not much of a risk taker usually, but he also can’t help but tell himself that you’re more than worth the risk. If he can get over his fear of the cons that is.
Chan is still deep in thought when he gets home. When he walks into the apartment, he can hear you talking in your room. The dock for the cordless phone sits empty on the side table next to the couch which tells him you’re using it. 
He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, truly he doesn’t, but as he’s walking down the hall to his room, he overhears you mention Joshua’s name and the word ‘date.’ Chan freezes in his tracks, his heart beating rapidly at the implication. He knows he should go into his room and wait until you’re done to ask what the plan for dinner is. 
Instead, he tiptoes to your room, the door ajar enough for him to listen without being seen.
“I’m not sure where he’s taking me. He didn’t say and I didn’t ask. I want to be surprised.” You chuckle and there’s a beat of silence as the person, who Chan assumes is Jinah, speaks. “I’m telling you, he looks so different now. Like, fuck I can’t even describe how good looking he is! And hello, he’s going to be a doctor!” More silence. “I mean, let’s not get crazy. We’re not eloping or anything, it’s just one date.” You stop talking before breaking out into a fit of laughter.
Chan takes this as his sign to slink away, trudging to his bedroom to wallow. He tries to remind himself that you don’t even know how he feels, he’s never even told you about his feelings, so what right does he have to be upset about this?
Absolutely none, logically speaking. That doesn’t make the twinge of pain in his chest feel any more bearable.
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It’s ten minutes to six when you’re putting the finishing touches on your hair and fastening your jewelry. You called Joshua earlier in the day to let him know that your doctor gave you the okay to take off your brace and that your wrist is feeling much better. You also asked if you should wear anything special for tonight. He advised that you didn’t need anything fancy, just whatever makes you feel good and some comfortable shoes. To be safe, you were going with thermal leggings and a nice sweater to stay warm and comfy.
With your bag and boots in hand, you leave your room and head down the hallway, intending to wait in the living room. The apartment is quiet with Hansol out for the night and Chan presumably in his room. You haven’t seen him much since he got home from work last night. He took his pizza into his room to eat it and you only saw him briefly this morning when he was coming back from the gym. You want to ask him if he’s okay, but you can’t seem to get a moment with him to do so. 
As you reach the end of the hallway, Chan rounds the corner suddenly and you both let out a yelp, running into each other.
“Shit, sorry!” Chan steadies you when your shoes and bag fall out of your hand along with the book that had been in his. He quickly bends down to pick up your things and gingerly hands them over to you.
“Thanks,” you smile at him, forcing your eyes up to his face and not down to the black tank top that hugs his torso.
“Of course,” Chan smiles back, neither of you moving. He’s blocking the entryway into the living room, you tell yourself, so he has to move first.
He doesn’t and instead looks above your head, chuckling nervously. 
“Huh?” You look up and catch sight of the mistletoe hanging above your heads. Who the fuck even put that there?
The two of you look from the mistletoe to each other, and then back up again. 
“You don’t have to,” Chan starts, his neck turning a deep shade of red.
“I - I mean you neither, if you don’t want to. But if you do, since you know it’s tradition or whatever, we can. Only if you want!” You’re stammering at this point, hand gripping the strap of your bag so hard your knuckles hurt. 
Your mind goes back to the ice skating rink and the moment the two of you shared. Chan’s reaction now might just reaffirm your thoughts from that day, but you try not to get too emotionally attached as you wait for his next words.
He doesn’t say anything, and instead, he answers with his movements. He looks into your eyes, so intensely you feel yourself squirm under his gaze. He starts to lean forward then, his face coming closer and closer to yours. 
There’s your answer.
Nothing comes from the moment though, when the doorbell rings, making both you and Chan spring apart with wide eyes. Clearing your throat, you apologize to Chan as you shuffle past him and into the living room. 
“One minute!” You call out to the door, assuming it’s Joshua. You fish your compact out of your bag to give yourself one more once over before you rush to the door and sure enough, you see Joshua through the peephole.
“Hi. You look beautiful,” are the first words out of his mouth when he sees you, eyes sweeping over your frame appreciatively.
“Thank you. You look very handsome. And are those for me?” You gesture to the large bouquet in his hands and accept it when he holds it out to you.
“Thank you. And yes they are. I couldn’t just show up empty handed.” You thank him again and step back into the apartment to find somewhere to put your flowers. Chan is gone when you enter the living room again and you don’t see him as you find a vase in the kitchen and fill it with water, placing the bouquet in them before joining Joshua again and leaving with him.
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Your date with Joshua is as normal as a date can get, but you don’t mind one bit. As he drives you to your destination, you fall into easy conversation as you ask him about his job. Right now, he’s working at his friend’s office until he’s done with school. Since he’s still getting his degree, he can’t legally do much medical wise, but he does volunteer at the hospital when he can to visit the kids and keep them company between surgeries and procedures. 
He tells you stories from the hospital and you can tell just in the way he talks about the patients he’s spent time with that it’s something he really enjoys and is looking forward to doing full time. It’s admirable to see someone so in love with what they do and recall it in such a positive way. You know that when you recount stories from your time in the air and in different countries, it’s always with bittersweet words. There was so much you loved about being a flight attendant and so much you disliked, but Joshua talks about medicine with nothing but love. 
Similar to how Chan speaks about dancing. 
You push that thought away as soon as it conjures in your brain, refocusing back on your date.
Joshua takes you to a fancy looking Japanese restaurant and does everything right that you would expect. He makes sure to open your car door for you and the door of the restaurant. He pulls out your chair and tells you to order whatever you want, making it clear that he’ll be paying and brushing you off when you try to convince him to split the bill. 
“Okay, Doctor Hong, you win. You’re more stubborn than me,” you joke after you both order.
He laughs, shrugging and making eye contact with you. “I asked you out, so I’ll pay. Simple as that. Maybe next time you can arrange the next date and you can pay.” 
The idea of another date with Joshua hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’re comfortable with him and are enjoying talking with him and getting to know him more, but you feel like there’s something missing that you can’t quite put your finger on. 
That feeling persists during dinner, even through the shared laughter and the jokes and it sticks when you’re back in the car after dessert. It lingers as you chat on the way to the second, secret destination he has on the itinerary.
When Joshua eventually parks on the curb of a neighborhood you don’t recognize, you see a bunch of other cars parked and can see bright lights in the distance.
“Where exactly are we?” You try to read street signs around but don’t recognize them. Joshua offers his hand as he opens your door and you hesitantly take it, letting him escort you out. He doesn’t let your hand go as you walk down the sidewalk and get closer to all of the lights.
“I know you’re really into Christmas and decorations so I wanted to take you here,” As you walk closer to the lights, you finally start to notice that they’re Christmas decorations. It’s a whole street of houses adorned with bright lights and flashy decorations. “There aren’t too many people who go all out with the decorations here, but I happened upon this street when I got lost once and they do this every year. It reminds me of the way people back home in L.A. decorate their houses for the holidays.”
You nod, eyes taking in a house with sparking blue and white lights wrapped around every inch of their house. “Yeah, whenever we had layovers or rest periods in the U.S. for the holidays it was nice to see all the decorations out there. It’s why I made Hansol and Chan decorate the apartment. It makes the holidays feel more fun for me.” You laugh, sticking the hand not in Joshua’s in your coat pocket. “I don’t know, maybe that’s silly.”
“It’s not,” he insists, squeezing your hand. “I think it’s very cute and sweet.” Looking over at him out of the corner of your eye, he smiles warmly at you. Joshua is so good at making you flustered it’s almost illegal.
You keep your hand in his as you walk down the sidewalk, pointing out different decorations and your favorite houses. There are other people around you taking in the decorations, all other couples from what you can see. There’s one house that you get to towards the end of the street that’s the most dramatic looking of all. Twinkling, multicolored lights cover the house and an army of snowmen litter the yard, all draped in winter clothes with lights on them as accessories. Various blow-up decorations dot the yard, one of them even playing instrumental versions of classic Christmas carols. Paired with the December snow on the ground, the yard resembles a true winter wonderland and for a moment, you just focus on that and not the fact that your brain keeps wanting you to imagine taking all of this in with Chan.
You’re so focused on the wonder in front of you that you don’t notice the way Joshua admires your profile, smiling at the way your eyes sparkle as you admire the lights and decorations. Joshua takes the moment, turning to you and placing his fingers under your chin to turn your head towards him. The gesture catches you off guard, as does the kiss he leans down to place on your lips.
Joshua’s lips are plush against yours and so incredibly soft. He almost doesn’t feel real. His lips move against yours and you reciprocate, but that earlier, nagging feeling you’ve had since the restaurant comes back. The insistence that something here is missing and it’s even louder now that Joshua is kissing you. It’s especially hard to enjoy kissing him when your mind only wants to focus on your second almost-kiss with Chan earlier. You yearn so badly to feel his lips on yours and daydream about if they feel as soft as they look. You also can’t help but wonder if kissing Chan would make you feel things like fireworks. That consideration alone makes you notice the severe lack of them now. Guilt occupies your mind along with your thoughts of Chan and you notice just how little you feel from kissing Joshua.
As if he feels it too, he pulls away slowly, eyes immediately scanning your face. 
“Are you okay, Y/n?”
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” 
“It’s just that, well I mean, you’ve seemed like your mind is only half here all night. I could feel it just now. Did I do something? I should’ve asked you before kissing you, I’m sorry.”
“No! No, Joshua it’s fine! You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise! You’re a great kisser anyway,” you mumble the last part, truly meaning it. Joshua chuckles and thanks you, but his expression gets serious again.
“I appreciate that and you are too, but I still feel like something is wrong.” He stares at you as if trying to read your mind and it makes you feel shy. 
“It’s just…fuck, listen, Joshua, I have had a lot of fun tonight, okay? You’re easy to talk to and laugh with and I like hanging out with you, but I think maybe…there’s a spark between us that’s missing? I’m really sorry.” You gnaw on your bottom lip as you get your words out, worrying about how he’ll react.
Thankfully, he doesn’t make any indication that he’s upset at you. Instead, Joshua just nods and if anything, looks a little disappointed. 
“Thank you for being honest with me. I’ve had a really fun time too. Even though I do genuinely like you, I’m not going to try and make you return my feelings. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to at least stay friends? I promise I can get over my crush.”
“Are you sure? I feel bad that I had you take me out like this and it was for nothing.”
“Hey, it wasn’t for nothing! I’m a little disappointed we can’t be more, but I still got to know you more. I mean it when I say let’s stay friends. It’s comfortable and nice hanging out with you. I promise I won’t make this weird. If you’re okay with it. Otherwise, when I take you home, I’ll drop you off and fuck off forever.”
You huff out a laugh, mostly in relief at how normal he’s taking your lack of interest. You study him for a moment, sincerity is easy to read in his expression.
Your shoulders relax as you nod, telling Joshua that you’ll gladly still be friends. This seems to put him at ease as well, letting out a sigh of relief. In your friendship travels, finding a dependable guy friend has been near impossible, so the idea of finally finding one means you can't just let the friendship slip away. You did genuinely enjoy spending time with him too.
You and Joshua finish the walk and any awkwardness you felt when the night started leaves now that the air is a bit clearer. Joshua doesn’t hold your hand, but he stays close and you appreciate that he genuinely meant he didn’t want you to feel weird around him.
After going around the block and taking a few selfies together (at Joshua’s request), you walk back to his car and he still holds the door open for you.
“What? Just because we’re friends this is still a date right?” He shoots you a smirk and you roll your eyes but laugh, nodding at his words. “Exactly. Now let’s get you home.”
Once back in the car, Joshua turns up the heat, both of you thawing as he starts the drive back to your apartment building.
At one point in your chatter as he takes you home, you compliment his gentlemanly behavior all night, telling him it’s honestly some of the most you’ve been wooed out of most other guys you’ve been with. Joshua frowns, citing how fucked up that is and how much guys fucking suck. You can’t help but laugh, noting that his level-headedness just adds to the fact that he’s the perfect guy for most women.
You voice this, adding: “If you’re still looking for someone special, my best friend just might fall in love with you if she meets you.” Joshua laughs, shooting you a brief look that you catch. “Yeah okay. I’ll tell her about you and let you know what she says.” You giggle.
“Sorry!” He winces, regretting his obvious expression. “Was that weird? Did I make it weird?”
“No, no! I don’t mind! I do think you’re a great guy and I love her and want her to be with a great guy. I don’t have a problem with you two going out. I’m just a little relieved to know you wanna talk to someone else so quickly. Makes me feel less bad about everything.”
“Hey, for real, don’t feel bad! I told you I’m going to be okay.”
“Ugh I know, I just feel bad because you paid for that fancy sushi and walked out in the cold and I’m curbing you.”
“Y/n, I’m not going to go home and write in my journal that you broke my heart. It was just a date, okay?” 
Sighing, you finally accept his answer, deciding to let it drop, but still let him know you’re going to talk to Jinah about him. 
“If you guys do go out and fall in love, try not to treat me like a third wheel, yeah?”
Chuckling, Joshua rolls his eyes at you as the car rolls to a stop at a red light. “She doesn’t even know my name yet, Y/n.”
“Yeah well, what I said still stands.”
“Whatever you say.” 
“Yes, thank you.” 
“Mmhmm.” Joshua shakes his head at you and your triumphant sounding rebuttal. “Just make sure you don’t forget about your friends whenever you find someone.” 
Frowning, you shake your head. “Oh, absolutely not. I’ve never even entertained abandoning my friends for a relationship. I’ll divide my time evenly between you guys and Ch-” Your lips clamp together like your mouth has been sewn shut, halting your words immediately.
Unfortunately, Joshua catches it, his eyebrows raising so high they almost disappear into his hairline. “Us and who?”
“No one.”
“That's obviously a lie. You were totally about to say someone’s name.”
“Huh? What makes you think that?”
You hit another red light and Joshua fixes you with a blank expression. “Really? You’re not gonna tell me?”
“Hey, this is still a date, remember?! What kind of date would I be if I talked about another guy?”
Joshua narrows his eyes once more before focusing back on the road as he accelerates and drops it, a suspicious look still on his face. You steer the conversation back to Joshua, getting him to tell you about his family back home a little more. He surely knows you’re deflecting but he doesn’t press you further. 
The conversation leads you right to a parking spot in your complex near the building entrance. Joshua, ever the gentleman, opens your door for you and walks you inside.
When reaching the third floor, Joshua walks you to the door. He pulls you into a hug, saying again that he had a good time hanging out with you regardless of the outcome. He says that he’ll look forward to your call about Jinah and about hanging out again soon. 
Things with Joshua may not have gone as intended, but you’re grateful that he’s understanding and not mad at the fact that you ended up not being interested.
“I will, promise. Get home safe!”
“I will. Have a good night.” He waves at you as he starts to go, but turns quickly to look at you with a glint in his eyes. “And good luck with Chan.” He caps his sentence off with a wink and the moment leaves you flabbergasted. Did he just say Chan?!
“I - what about Chan?!” You can only hope you don’t look as panicked as you feel. Joshua doesn’t address your question, or what he said as he gets to the elevator, offering you a final wave and laughing as the door closes.
How the hell did he know that’s who you were talking about? You’ve never done anything to make someone think you like Chan, but clearly the response lets you know that maybe you’re not as good at hiding your feelings as you thought you were. Has Chan noticed anything from you that would clue him in on your feelings for him being more than platonic? If so, you can only hope Hansol has been too… Hansol to notice it himself.
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Chan’s lost count of how many times he’s paced the living room. He keeps trying to sit or do something else other than obsess over you, but nothing seems to be working. All he can think about is you out on a date, having fun, and developing feelings for someone other than him. He even called out of work tonight, telling Soonyoung he wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t a complete lie. 
Seeing the way Joshua just swept in after so long and snatched you up, just-like-that, legitimately made his head and stomach hurt. Chan knows for sure he is absolutely in love with you and the other almost-kiss he nearly shared with you proves it. He still didn’t recall where the mistletoe came from, but because of it, even if it wasn’t the proper result, he’s not exactly complaining. Well, not about the fact that you very clearly almost kissed him back.
He just feels like an idiot because he let you leave and is watching you slip away from him again and this time it’s to one of his friends. A friend that has more guts than him to step up and ask you out and tell you that he’s into you.
Chan hasn’t been brave enough to approach you and finally, finally try asking you out. The time when he was fourteen didn’t count because he was still a kid and you never saw him as anything other than your little brother’s annoying best friend that followed you around. Of course, you wouldn't have ever gone out with him. 
But it’s different now. You’re both adults and you’re closer than that already. You seem to actually enjoy spending time with Chan and being around him for the first time in the entire time that he has known you and maybe, just maybe, he’d have a real chance with you. 
His own cowardice stopped him from speaking up and allowed his older, much more confident hyung to do what he’s been too afraid to. It fucking sucked.
After you left, the only thing he’s done is stay up and stare at the TV, jealousy chipping away at him. Jealous that Joshua got to you before he could do it. Jealousy eats him up so much that he can’t feel relaxed no matter what he does. So, the only thing he thinks to do is sit up and wait for you.
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As you enter the apartment, you expect the room to be dark, but you’re surprised to instead see Chan pacing around the living room with the TV playing a commercial.
When he turns upon hearing the door, you both freeze, his expression reading a deer in headlights. 
“Y/n.”
“Chan?”
“Y/n, you’re here.”
“Yeah, I’m here. Are you okay?”
His eyes are wide as he watches you slip your shoes off. 
“Y/n,” he rushes over to you, grabbing your hands when you step into the room. The gesture is the most contact you’ve had in a week and it lights up all of your senses. He guides you into the room, but the two of you stay standing. “I have some stuff I want to say, okay? It might sound weird and you might hate me and I might fuck up everything, but I’m going to explode if I keep this to myself anymore.”
“Okay…” Your hesitance is obvious, but you don’t walk away to take your hands out of his hold, so he takes this as a sign to continue.
“I, fuck I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it, but Y/n, the truth is that I’m still in love with you. It’s different from when I was a dumb kid. That was me being captivated by my best friend’s big sister who was so much cooler and more mature than me and was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. When you left for college and your career, it hurt, but I told myself to get over it. That it was just my first crush and first crushes eventually go away.
And I thought that was true until you moved back and I realized, ‘oh shit, I’m still into her,’ only now it’s worse because I got to know you, like really know you, and realized that you’re still that intelligent, mature, amazing girl, but now you’re a woman and you’re still the woman of my dreams. I’ve been trying so hard to show you that I still care for you without actually saying it because I was worried that you’d turn me down and I didn’t know if I could handle that, but seeing you go out with Joshua and potentially slip away from me for good again has been killing me all night and I can’t hold back anymore. 
If you don’t like me back that is completely okay! I know Joshua hyung is handsome and smart and he’s going to be a doctor so like whatever, yeah I get it. I won’t make living with you weird at all! I’ll even steer clear of certain areas when you’re around if that makes you feel better. Just, you know, whatever you want. But okay, I’m done. Too many words.”
Chan wants the floor to open up right at this moment and swallow him given the way you’re looking at him. Wide-eyed and mouth in a firm line as you absorb his words.
“Dammit, Chan!”
“What?! Sorry! Fuck, I’m sorry I suck I-”
“Huh? No! I didn’t mean it like that! I said that because, well, I think that you succeeded in showing me how much you care for me because I’ve fallen for you over the past three months.” Chan’s eyes widen almost comically, but he doesn’t say anything. “ I tried to fight it given one, you’re my brother’s best friend, two we live together, and three, you’re younger than me and four, I just didn’t want to make things weird with all of us living together, but knowing you like me just makes me want to stop being so cautious.”
“Really?”
“Really. Spending time with you and getting to know you has only made me like you more. Being around you, spending time with you, talking with you, everything just feels so right when we’re together. It’s scary because I have never felt like this, but I want it. I want you, Chan. In every sense of the word.”
The shell shocked man across from you has to let your words sit in his brain for a bit before he fully registers what you’ve said. You like him too. You’ve fallen for him. Being with him feels right. You want him. 
If this is a cruel dream, Chan would really appreciate it if he could wake up right now. He closes his eyes tightly, counting to three before opening again. Sure enough, you’re still standing in front of him, looking at him with expectant eyes, anticipating his next words.
“Sorry, I’m just letting this all sink in. I don’t think I thought you’d actually say you feel the same.”
You shrug, shooting him a small smile. “Me neither honestly. I thought for sure you had gotten over your crush on me and moved on to actual women who returned your feelings.”
“Me too, at first I mean. But like I said, just seeing you again had all of those feelings rushing back to me.” 
“Well I’m extremely lucky then it seems.”
“So am I.” You both stand there, grinning at each other, unsure what to do next. You think about maybe kissing Chan, finally, but you wonder if that’s too fast and too presumptuous of you.
As if he can read your mind, Chan clears his throat, making eye contact for a few seconds before looking away and taking a breath.
“Y/n, can I kiss you?” He blurts out, but you still hear him.
“Please do!” You answer immediately, encouraged by the knowledge that he wants the same as you.
Chan doesn’t need to be told twice, immediately rushing over to you before you have too much time to think. Your back hits the wall in an effort to keep your weak knees from giving out. When Chan stops, right in front of you, you’re almost chest to chest. He’s so close that you feel the warmth that radiates from him.
His arm rests above your head, keeping you trapped, but leaving his other arm down, allowing you a way out if you wanted. Neither of you speak for a moment, both blinking at the other. You each need to decide what will happen next. 
You both make that decision at the exact same time. Chan’s eyes stay locked on yours as he lowers his face. At the same time, your eyes flutter closed as you crane your neck up, allowing your lips to meet somewhere in the middle.
Your lips are still a little cold, Chan notes as your arms reach out in the tiny space between the two of you, and grasp the front of his t-shirt to pull him close, his body pressing you completely against the wall. He squeezes his eyes closed hard enough to hurt a few times in an effort to wake himself up from the dream that he feels like he’s having. He’s had more dreams than he can count about kissing you for as long as he can remember, so surely this is another one of those? 
That thought is only sent away when your arms slip up his body and around his neck, fingers weaving into the sensitive hairs on the back of his neck and tugging. The action is like lightning through his body and helps keep him in the very real moment.
Kissing Chan feels the way that you think they describe in movies. They always describe it as feeling like the world around you fades away in a haze and your head feels fuzzy. All of the sounds you hear are like white noise or turn into muffled background noise. It’s cliché and something you don’t think you’ve ever felt until this moment. Kissing Chan feels right and you don’t think you ever want to kiss anyone else for a long time, if ever again.
His strong arms wrap around your waist as you melt into him, your lips moving together in perfect sync. Your hands move down to his biceps to steady yourself, fingers wrapping around as much of him as you can, which isn’t much but you try.
You stay like that longer than you think you can count. Both of you clinging to one another, making out against the wall like lovestruck, horny teenagers, even if that’s exactly what you feel like. Your heart hammers against your chest and your thighs squeeze together as the kiss ignites not only something in your chest, but in your panties too. 
The kiss turns from soft and sentimental to heated quicker than either of you are brave enough to admit, but you’re not complaining. You’ve wanted each other for months (years for Chan) and are finally getting what you’ve dreamt of. Chan’s thick, muscled thigh wedges its way between yours. Your leggings may have been thick enough to avoid the cold, but they aren’t thick enough to keep you away from feeling him brush against your tender folds.
What sounds like a whimper slips out of you and gets swept away by Chan’s tongue and into his mouth. He swallows down sound after sound as he makes sure to nudge your pussy again and again and soon enough, you’re grinding down on him, sloppily riding his thigh as his lips stay connected to yours.
When you finally pull away, the first sound out of your mouth is a deep moan. Chan flexes his thigh in a way that tenses the muscles and he hits your clothed clit in the most delicious way.
“Fuck,” Chan pants as he holds your hips. His knee rests between your legs and against the wall to stay steady. You grind over Chan’s sweatpants again and with each sweet sound that slips out of your mouth, he feels himself getting painfully harder.
“Ch-Chan,” you manage out.
“Hmm?”
“I need more.”
“More? More what, baby girl?” 
The pet name rolls off his tongue so easily, too easily, and your pussy throbs even harder. Riding his thigh feels fucking amazing and you know you can cum just like this, but you don’t want to just yet. You’d much rather cum around his cock. The playful part of you also wants him to be just as needy as you.
“More of you. Please, baby,” You lean up to place kisses on his neck. When you get to his jawline, you flatten your tongue right on the side of his chin, dragging it up his jaw, and landing on his ear lobe. Chan makes the prettiest, breathy whines as you tease him and it only makes you clench even more. When you stop and your teeth nibble on the shell of his ear, capping it off with a whisper of, “Please Channie,” Chan feels like he could explode, right then and there.
“Anything. Fucking anything for you” Chan mumbles his words before diving down to lavish your neck in kisses of his own, the tip of his tongue darting out occasionally to lap at your skin. He leaves sloppy kisses on your skin as he descends down to your chest, stopping briefly where your nipples sit behind layers of clothes. 
He drops to his knees as he goes and doesn’t stop until he reaches your waist. 
“Chan?” You’re surprised that this is how he wants you first. You expected him to finger you before anything, but he clearly wants to start elsewhere.
His hands move to grasp at your waistband, stopping before he actually undresses you. His eyes meet yours, fingertips meeting your bare skin underneath your sweater. 
“Can I? I need to get my mouth on you so badly.”
“Fuck, yes. You better,” you demand in response, not even flinching at his request. The two of you easily slip your leggings and your panties down and off of you in one go. 
Chan lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, pushing your thighs apart. His eyes widen at the sight of you bare and wet in front of him. His mouth waters at the glistening arousal he sees coating your lower lips and he almost gets lightheaded at the heady scent of you. Chan could die right here before even tasting you and even that would be okay with him.
“Chan, please I need you!” You beg, feeling self conscious under his stare. He doesn’t make you wait any longer and instantly dives between your folds, his tongue lapping at you harshly.
Your knees nearly buckle at the suction, a loud cry ringing out. He doesn’t hesitate at all, his tongue immediately plunging into your wet hole. Your head hits the wall with a thunk as Chan begins eating you out as if his life depended on it. He fucks you with his tongue with obvious vigor, his nose bumping into your clit with each turn of his head.
His hands cup your ass, pulling you closer to his face so he can reach deeper in you, damn near making out with your cunt. Chan grunts and groans into you as he slurps, the wet sounds echoing through the room.
“Fuck, Chan. Fuck you’re t-too fucking good,” Your fingers are in his hair again, knotting into his strands to hold his face against you. The action makes him dizzy, his cock painfully hard and begging to be released from the confines of his sweatpants.
When you cum, which isn’t very long from when he started devouring you, you think you almost pass out. Your vision whites out and your body feels like gelatin, almost falling forward. Chan keeps his grip on your ass, not stopping until you start to yank him away from your pussy.
“I am going to pass out if you keep eating me out like that!”
“Fucking hell, Y/n, you have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted to taste you,” he’s breathless when he speaks, licking his lips in the most obscene manner. 
“Did I live up to your expectations?” You tease, getting wet all over again as you observe the way his face glistens with your juices and his blown out pupils.
“You have no idea. But we’re not done yet, beautiful.”
Another simple pet name has you shivering and Chan notices, and he loves the way you react to him. He stands upright again and grabs your hand, lacing your fingers together as he leads you to his bedroom. When he gets you in the room he brings you to his bed, pushing you and watching you bounce gently on his quilt. You start to undress what you had left on, keeping your eyes trained on him as you pull your sweater over your head and unhook your bra, tossing it somewhere in the room.
This is just like so many wet dreams he’s had, but this time it’s real life and almost too good to be true.
“You gonna just stand there and ogle me or are you going to get naked and come over here and kiss me?” You tease him, widening your legs to make room for him.
Chan’s eyes are glued to your pussy, still wet and shining for him, and he all but tears his clothes from his body and scrambles onto the bed without another thought.
“Sorry,” he says between kisses. “I was just admiring the goddess waiting for me on my bed,” You’re ready to tease him again, but he cuts you off when he lowers his head and his mouth suctions around one of your nipples, sucking hard enough to make your back bow off of the bed. 
Eager lips lavish over the sensitive bud as his hand finds its way between your legs. He circles your entrance with a finger and repeats the motion a few more times before kissing his way over to your other nipple to give it the same amount of attention.
“So pretty,” he mumbles against your skin. Your fingers tangle in his dark hair as he covers your chest in bites, licks, and kisses, his finger still teasing you.
As if sensing you about to complain, he finally lets your nipple go, kissing his way down your body until he’s face to face with your pussy again.
“Chan…” you sigh, feeling his tongue dart out to lick a stripe from your entrance to your clit. He takes the time to spend extra attention on your nub, stiffening his tongue and flicking at it at what feels like an inhumane speed.
Chan relishes the gorgeous sound of your cries for him, noises of pleasure mixed in with huffs of his name and whispers of curse words. He loves that these sounds are all for him and because of him. He already knew he’d get addicted to you if he ever was able to get you into his bed and this settles that. He needs to hear you like this for him until he passes away. Even then, he wants to be buried with a recording of your moans and whines.
He shifts on his stomach to get closer to your core and plunges his tongue into you, groaning at the taste of you on his tongue again. The angle allows him room to grind against his quilt, pretending that it’s you he’s rutting against. His eyes slip closed as your thighs do the same around his head and he loses himself as he eats you out with a sense of excitement that he doesn’t think he’s ever felt about anything else.
Chan moves as if he didn’t do the same thing not even ten minutes ago and he only serves in pushing you so much closer to the edge faster than the first time. You call this out to him, tugging at his hair and it only spurs him on. He burrows between your legs even further, letting out more determined grunts that you feel throughout your entire body.
“Ch-Chan, fuck, I’m cumming! Right there, right there - I - fuck!” Your hands keep Chan trapped as you let go, legs spasming as he keeps at it, happily lapping up your release that covers his chin.
Out of breath, your body sags against the bed and you pry your legs open to let him up. “Shit, Chan enough. Come up here and fuck me already.”
“Yes ma’am.” His face is covered in you and his use of yes ma’am sends molten heat up your spine and between your legs again.
He leans over to his nightstand to fish out a condom, but you stop him, shaking your head.
“I’m on the pill, just pull out?”
Your words could’ve very well been a spell with the way they make him dizzy, but he doesn’t question it and only breathes out a yes and positions himself between your legs.
“Are you okay? Tell me to stop at any time and I will, okay?” He checks your face to make sure you’re comfortable and when he sees you nod he starts to ease himself into you slowly.
When his bulbous tip slips in first, you’re instantly letting out small mewls that only intensify with each inch that Chan fills you with.
“Oh my fuck, Y/n, you feel incredible. Shit!” Chan grits his teeth as he takes his time entering you. When he’s finally filled you up to the hilt, he has to take a second and take a deep breath. He’s never felt so close to cumming this quickly since he was in high school. It’s embarrassing to admit, but you truly feel like nothing and no one he’s ever felt. Your soft velvet walls cradle him perfectly, clenching every now and again making him even weaker.
“Move, Channie,” you breathe out, lifting your hips a little to get him going. Chan sits up on his knees, wrapping your legs around his waist as he grabs a hold of your hips.
He starts slow as he fucks you, finding a pace that works for him. Once he gets it, which he does rather quickly, he’s relentless. His hips drive into yours at breakneck speed, balls hitting your ass which each thrust forward.
“Fuck, Y/n, baby, you feel like a fucking dream!” His compliment comes out high pitched as he says it, the sound of his hips slapping against yours almost drowning out his words, but you hear him.
“Yeah, fuck, you feel so good Channie. Fucking me so, so good!” Tears collect at the corners of your eyes as Chan bullies into you over and over again, shoving you further up the bed. “You’re such a good boy for m-me, aren’t you?”
Chan’s eyes cross at your praise, biting his lip so hard he nearly draws blood just to keep himself from bursting inside of you at that moment. He nods like a madman, taking deep breaths to push back his orgasm. He’s so terribly close, but he refuses to cum without you.
He pants above you, eyes darting between your fucked out expression with your eyes rolling back and mouth hanging open, your tits that bounce with each force of his body, to between your legs as he catches sight of himself disappearing into your heat. He catches sight of the white ring of arousal you coat around his dick and he feels himself getting closer and closer.
He’s dizzy with lust for you but still manages to check in with you, forcing out coherent words to ask how you’re doing. You reassure him you’re okay, praising him once again about how good he feels.
“H-harder, Channie. Fuck me harder!”
As with anything else Chan does for you, he doesn’t need you to ask twice as he readjusts his knees before leaning forward to bend at the waist, making sure your legs are still secure around his waist. He leans down, his hands on either side of your head as kisses you, the new angle allowing him to thrust into you at a harder pace.
“Just like that, Chan! Fuck me like that!” Your words tumble out of you in a garbled mess, but he hears you loud and clear. The sensation of your nails digging into his back as you hold him closer sends him into a frenzy as he continues his brutal pace. His new position also allows his pelvis to brush against your clit hard enough to send you over the edge all the way.
“I’m - Y/n, I’m so close. I’m -”
“Me too, Channie, me too. Want you to cum. Wanna see you and hear you,” you cry out, each word almost cut off with a moan.
When you cum, your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape and your eyes squeeze shut, stars erupting behind your lids as your body almost convulses underneath him. Your muscles hurt with how hard your body stiffens and your brain only focuses on the drag of Chan’s cock against your hyper-sensitive walls.
The sight alone and your chant of Chan’s name has him cumming next. He pulls out, desperately jerking himself off over you before he panics.
“Wh-where can I?”
“Anywhere, baby! Anywhere you want,” As soon as the last word leaves your lips, Chan yells out your name, his warm seed spurting out and landing on your stomach, some of it even hitting right under your breasts as he milks himself over your body. If you weren’t so tired you’d suck him off to overstimulate him, but for now, you just admire how stunning Chan looks. Skin flushed and chiseled jaw clenched as he empties himself onto your sweaty body.
As he cums, Chan tears up a little because holy shit you’re the best feeling he’s ever felt, and being inside of you is like an out of body experience. He’s no virgin, but this is the first time he’s slept with someone who he has such a strong emotional connection with. It’s the best thing he’s ever experienced in his life, he thinks.
Once he’s released everything he possibly can, Chan rolls off of you and flops next to your spent body. 
“Holy shit,” you mumble, taking a deep breath. “I think my soul has officially left the building.”
“Oh, I know mine is gone. It was gone the moment you let me kiss you.” Giggling, you glance over at Chan who’s already looking at you.
“I’ll always let you kiss me now. How can I not?” Chan grins wide enough at you that you think his mouth should probably hurt. The thought makes you breathe out a laugh.
Chan tilts his head at you. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. Just admiring how cute you are,” As if not expecting that answer, Chan gets a little shy, eyes looking away from you as you see the tips of his ears reddening. You can’t help but lean up and place a kiss on his ear and he jumps at the light peck. “Come on, cutie. Let’s get cleaned up and ready for bed. You can sleep in my room tonight and we’ll wash your sheets tomorrow. Sound good?” 
Chan nods so aggressively, that you almost question how his neck is feeling. He reaches for his tissues on the side table and wipes the cooling cum from your body. He then helps you up from the bed and tosses you one of his towels, wrapping one around his waist. 
When you have the towel covering yourself, you both step into the hallway only to freeze when seeing Hansol coming down the hall, and he stops too. He takes notice of the two of you, standing there holding towels over yourselves, and lets out a laugh. He takes his headphones off and lets them drape about his neck, the sound of “All the Small Things” filling the silence between the three of you.
“I take it the mistletoe worked?”
You and Chan share an incredulous look before turning back to your brother.
“You put the mistletoe up?!” You gasp. You had just accepted the fact that you put it up and forgot, but it’s nice to know you aren't going completely insane.
“Well, it was Soonyoung’s idea. He called earlier and told me to put it up somewhere both of you would end up. I wasn’t sure at first, but it looks like it worked.”
“I mean…kind of. But I have so many questions.”
“Ask them later. I’ve been home for a little while but didn’t wanna come into the hallway and uh, interrupt.” Hansol frowns and continues on to his room. Your brother halts his steps before going in and fixes you both with a look. “Oh, and I only have two things to say. One, Chan, if you hurt my sister I will kick your ass. And I’m telling Cheol hyung,” Chan lets out a small squeak and salutes Hansol, promising he’ll treat you like a queen. Hansol nods and then continues. “And two, can y’all like, I don’t know, leave a sock or something on your doors when you’re gonna do this? I came in and heard some noises I never want to hear my sister and best friend making ever again so just give me a chance to put my headphones on.” 
“Ugh, sorry,” you grunt, your face heating up in mortification. 
“Yeah, yeah whatever. Glad you guys can stop trying but failing not to flirt in front of me. Now goodnight and please keep it down for the night, I’m begging you.”
You and Chan promise your brother that you’ll be considerate and he thanks you before shuffling into his room for the night.
“He took that better than expected,” you observe as you and Chan move into the bathroom.
“Yeah. Honestly, I was expecting him either to be grossed out or do something very out of character and hit me or something.”
You snort, turning on the shower water and hanging up the towel you’ve been holding against your body. “Hansol hasn’t swung on anyone or anything since he was at least seven and that was at our old neighbor’s bird because it tried to land on his head.” 
Chan cackles at the thought, but it’s quickly replaced with a low sigh as he watches you tuck your hair into a shower cap to keep it from getting wet. Watching you stand in front of him, naked and just existing comfortably makes both his heart beat out of his chest and his dick uncomfortably hard. 
You at least can notice the latter, eyes playfully observing his length between his legs. “Someone has an impressive bounce back period.” 
“I can’t help it. I have a beautiful, sexy woman standing naked in front of me. What do you want me to do?”
The bathroom isn’t that big so when you brush past Chan, it’s not hard to brush against him. Your thigh grazes his erection and he groans louder than intended, slapping his hand over his mouth when the sound comes out. You can’t help but giggle as you slip into the shower watching him still stand there and gawk at you.
“What you can do is, come join me in this shower and fuck me against this wall, but only if you can be way quieter than you just were.”
The sentence doesn’t even have a chance to finish completely before Chan is practically leaping into the shower, body crowding yours against the tile wall.
“Anything for you, Y/n.” He peppers your neck and shoulder with kisses, biting the skin as he goes.
“Mmm, you have got to stop saying that to me, Channie. You’ll spoil me.”
Chan pulls away, eyes meeting yours with the most serious expression you’ve seen from him since he confessed his feelings for you earlier this evening.
“Good. I want to spoil you and I will until I physically can’t anymore.” Chan rests his forehead against yours, taking a moment to enjoy being close to you as the shower water warms your skin.
“Only if you let me do the same to you, baby.” His eyes flutter at the pet name and you love the way it seems to make his skin flush more.
“Thank you, Y/n.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know, existing? Making me the luckiest man in the world? All of the above?” It’s your turn to get sheepish at his words, playfully pushing against his firm chest.
“Thank you, Chan. You treat me differently from so many other people I’ve been with and you make me feel special.” You hope he understands just how true your words are. The way he’s treated you since you moved in has been with nothing but care and affection, even before knowing he still likes you. Chan is a truly amazing guy and you consider yourself lucky that he wants you in his life like this.
“You are special and you should feel that way. I’ll make sure to keep doing it. And I’ll make sure you feel amazing and special in every way.” Warm hands slide down your body and slip between your legs to rub gentle circles against your clit. The whiplash from the tender moment to the not-so-tender startles you for only a moment before it’s replaced with want as Chan works you up.
Chan’s dancer hips are something to be studied and worshiped with the way in which he drills into you under the spray. You had teased him with being quiet, but you’re the one that needs to sink your teeth into the thick skin of his shoulder to stop from yelling his name.
He laughs between thrusts, but when you clench around him in retaliation, his pace falters and he pouts down at you. You kiss his pout away, keeping your lips together as you both cum, swallowing the possible noise complaints you’d have received otherwise. 
Even if Hansol had lectured you both about your noise level, it’d be worth it, especially when you see the blissful look on Chan’s face as he gazes at you. Eyes full of wonder, tiredness, and above all else, love. Even though it hasn’t been long at all, you’ll be surprised if he can’t see the same shining back up at him.
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Time seems to fly by, and Christmas suddenly creeps up on you. Thankfully, you finish your shopping before the last minute and get everything you need to, done. You and Chan spend the time leading up to it doing as many cute, coupley things that you can think of while Hansol does his best to not be a third wheel. He rarely ever is, but you’re thankful for the support from your brother nonetheless.
On Christmas morning, Chan is up first, already wide awake and looking at you when you open your eyes. It’s cute if not a little surprising at first. He at least lets you brush your teeth and make yourself decent before ushering you into the hallway. He knocks loudly on Hansol’s door as he passes, telling him it’s time for presents. 
His excitement is incredibly endearing and it warms your heart to see him so eager to sit you down on the couch and present you with your first gift from under the Christmas tree. The first box is a small square, secured with a red sparkly ribbon. When you take the lid off, a CD looks back at you in a red, jewel tone case. You smile as you take it out and turn it over, seeing a note on the back along with the tracklist.
Songs for the only woman who’s ever owned my heart. Merry Christmas, Y/n.  Love, Your Channie
Tears prick your eyes at the gesture. It’s a small gift, but it’s personal. You don’t think you’ve had anyone make you a mixtape and yet again, it just proves how sweet Lee Chan is.
“Thank you Channie,” you pucker your lips and he eagerly leans down to kiss you, almost tripping into your lap in the process. “Oh!” He jumps up, running back to the tree for another box, this one wrapped in white ribbons. Inside is another rectangle box, but in that is the gift. 
“Chan?!”
“You like it?” He asks, taking the bracelet out of the box before you can answer. He gestures to your wrist and you present it, letting him clip the shiny, diamond tennis bracelet. “The sales lady said they’re really popular for the “special ladies in your life” this year and I thought you’d like it since you like pretty jewelry.” You give Chan a watery smile, stopping yourself again from nearly crying. Instead, you get up and pull him into a hug, squeezing his waist hard.
“I love it, thank you Chan,” When you pull away, it’s your turn to go to the tree to retrieve his gifts. 
“But I’ve already gotten the greatest gift I’ve ever wanted in my life,” he gestures to you with a flourish, making you roll your eyes.
“Oh yeah? Guess that means I should return these presents then huh?” You dangle both boxes in the air, raising an eyebrow.
“I mean…you already bought them and wrapped them though so you may as well just…” he makes grabby hands at the boxes and you can’t help but laugh, handing over both gifts to him. 
The first one he opens has a shiny silver watch in it that you saw in the mall with Jinah weeks ago and thought of him. It’s your turn to help him as you put it on his wrist, both of you admiring it. He mentions that it’s the nicest watch he’s ever owned and that he’ll never take it off.
When he gets to the other small box, he opens it to see an envelope sitting in the middle of the tissue paper. Curiously, Chan opens it pulling out what’s inside and he nearly passes out.
“Michael Jackson tickets?!”
“Yeah! I heard people at work talk about it like two months ago. He’s going to be in Seoul this summer! I was getting them for you whether we ended up together or not because I know how much you love him. You deserve it!” You beam at him and watch as tears well in his eyes this time. “Aw, Channie!”
Chan jumps from the couch to pull you into a bear hug at the same time that Hansol comes into the living room.
“Hyung, I have to tell you now, but I’m going to marry your sister,” he says in a serious tone.
“Chan!” Laughing, you squeeze his arms, trying to wriggle from his grasp.
“Fine as long as you still stick by my rules.”
“Hansol!” Both men purposely ignore you as they discuss your fictional wedding and Chan brags about his concert tickets. The whole moment fills you with an indescribable warmth, even when Chan finally releases you and lets you sit on the couch.
You didn’t anticipate that you’d end up here when you first thought about leaving your career, but you’re glad you did. You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else other than here on Christmas with your two favorite men.
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“The ball is going to drop soon!” Seungkwan announces to your group. He turns the volume of the TV up as the countdown shows on the screen.
It’s New Year’s Eve and your large group of friends is huddled in Jinah’s living room to ring in the New Year. You hadn’t known where you’d be ringing in the year 2000 initially and had anticipated it’d be at home, but with Jinah and Joshua dating and being almost inseparable for the last two weeks, she found herself hanging around the rest of the guys as much as you have and since her apartment is the biggest, she had everyone come here.
You’re sitting next to Chan on her couch as you pull your drinks closer. Seungkwan and his partner sit together holding hands, nervously checking the clock on the wall and looking back at the TV. The two of them, Seokmin, and one of their other friends named Mingyu all found out about Y2K around the same time and have been preparing for it leading up to tonight. No matter how many times you, Hansol, and Joshua try to tell them you’ll all be fine, you let the group of conspiracy theorists have their beliefs, knowing once the new year rolls in, they’ll be fine.
Chan often makes fun of them, but you also never miss the way his eyes widen when they talk about the computers exploding and the world ending.
“Three…two…one, happy new year!” Everyone’s voices echo throughout the room as you count down to the new year together, noisemakers and cheers following.
Chan turns towards you, his lips meeting yours as you share your first kiss of the new year. His hands cradle your face, tilting your head back just the slightest to deepen the short yet sensual kiss.
“Happy New Year, Y/n.” He says against your lips.
“Happy New Year, Chan.”
Around the room, the rest of your friends are pouring more champagne and you catch sight of Seungkwan and his partner still sharing their New Year’s kiss, both smiling, likely in relief. Joshua and Jinah are on the other side of the room, her head resting on his shoulder as they watch the fireworks on TV. Chan redirects your attention back to him to kiss you once more, this one quicker yet just as sweet.
And just like that the world doesn’t end, much to Seokmin, Mingyu, Seungkwan’s (and Chan’s) relief, but your new world with Chan in it has just begun. You’re looking forward to what the new millennia and life with Chan will bring.
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Net tags: @kflixnet @kbookshelf | Taglist: @aaniag
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deadbydad-writes · 5 months
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Dad’s Best Friend!Miguel with Reader (who’s 24 and just finished college, she’s staying at her dad’s place while she finds work). She and Miguel have been in a secret relationship for a few weeks now, and Miguel finds out she has a daddy kink. He takes full advantage of this, teasing her as he’s abusing her with every thrust of his cock, telling her that she’s such a naughty girl begging for her daddy to fill her up with his seed, asking her what her dad would think if he found out his best friend was trying to knock up his baby girl…
Breeding and daddy kinks are my weakness, what can I say 😵‍💫
This one is so fucking hot oml I love it!
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You and Miguel had been in a secret relationship for a couple of years now and had kept it hidden from your father. Of course, the two of you had have sex but when Miguel had found out that you had a daddy kink...he didn't hesitate to use that to his advantage the first chance he got.
Your father had to work later in the afternoon and you were at an interview at some random place in town trying to find work, so he used that time to himself to come up with a plan.
Later that night while your father was at work, Miguel had you bent over the arm of the couch in your own living room with his cock buried deep into your cunt you swore you could feel the tip of it in your womb.
"Look at you, coming apart on daddy's cock," Miguel growled into your ear as he reached a hand under your shirt to grab one of your breasts, his thumb flicking your nipple. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the house as he fucked into your abused cunt from behind. Miguel had already filled you up with his cum at least three or four times and it couldn't help but make you wonder if he would knock you up tonight.
Miguel's hips stuttered slightly and he groaned into the back of your neck, biting the skin gently. "Daddy's gonna come in you again baby girl," he said and continued to bite and nibble the skin of your neck while he never stopped thrusting his cock in and out of your tight pussy.
The thought and his words made a shiver of pleasure run down your spine and a moan escape your mouth.
Miguel let out a little chuckle as he found out this new little surprise you had kept from him and maybe even yourself.
"Does daddy's little girl like the thought of being filled up again," he teased and gently gripped your hair but didn't pull. "Does she want to get filled until she's carrying my child?"
You could only nod, too drunk on pleasure from the treatment you were receiving to say an actual word yet alone a physical sentence.
"What would your father think if he saw his daughter, his only little girl, begging for his best friend to knock her up?" The thought of you getting caught by your father while Miguel is fucking you, really shouldn't have turned you on as much as it should have, but that's all it took for you to reach your climax for the fifth time that night.
"Daddy!" You moaned out as you squirted on his cock, your eye rolling to the back of your head and your nail's digging into the white fabric of the couch as you came down from your high. You felt the man behind you let out a growl and bite your shoulder as he pumped more of his cum into your womb.
Your soft pants as you both caught your breath filled the silence of the house before Miguel quickly turned your head to the side to press his lips against yours, making you smile lazily against his lips as you closed your eyes and enjoyed the moment before Miguel pulled away to look at you with a playfull look.
"Oh no baby girl, daddy's not done with you yet." Miguel nipped your bottom lip and grinding his cock against your sweet spot, making you gasp at the welcomed feeling and action.
"Daddy has to make sure his little girl is all bred until your swollen with my children"
I tried. I was literally the whole time while I was writing this I was just blushing at every word I typed....this is the smuttiest thing I have ever written to be honest.
But I hoped you enjoyed! I for sure enjoyed writing this, it's so fucking good in my opinion but I think I could have done better, but hey there's always room for improvment!
Anyway, if anyone wants to request anything I have a list right here of stuff I will write, but I do hope you guys enjoyed it. And I would appreciate feedback of anyone has any!
Love you guys!
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prying-pandora666 · 6 months
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On Alucard and Maria
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Are there actually fans advocating for Alucard to be written as Maria’s father figure in the new season of Nocturne? Like that would be a good thing and not infinitely creepier? I don’t think they’ve thought this through.
Alucard is the single most popular character in the franchise. He’s also probably the most shipped character. And yet he has only had one canon love interest in the decades since he’s existed. It’s Maria. And you’re telling me that you think that because he’s 300+ and she’s 17-18 when they started living together in the games, that it would be grooming. However, somehow him inserting himself into her life at age 16 when she’s just lost both her parents wouldn’t come off like grooming!?
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Does this man look like he should be picking up random children!? He’s literally terrified of his own cursed blood. Maybe LISTEN TO HIM.
I’m convinced fandoms have forgotten what that word means. Grooming has specific features. It doesn’t just mean “older guy and younger girl.” A relationship with an age gap or an uneven power dynamic can be exploitative or abusive without being a case of grooming. Grooming specifically refers to the process of forming a relationship with a child with the intention of leveraging that relationship and trust to train and prepare (aka brainwash) your victim for the harmful activities the groomer wants to normalize. The relationship Alucard and Maria have in the games is in no way grooming. You know what would be grooming though?
Coming into a 16 year old’s life when she’s vulnerable, traumatized, and recently orphaned only to insinuate yourself as a new father figure. This is so highly inappropriate and a huge red flag. Consider what you’re actually asking for here. These characters do not exist in a a vacuum. They have a long history together as each other’s only canon love interests. You cannot fully extract them from the games, art, interviews, audio dramas, animations, and more where they’re depicted as a couple. There are decades of this precedent and you are asking Netflix to knowingly take the characters with an established romantic dynamic that the audience is already primed to see as romantic and instead portray their meeting as him trying to be her new daddy?
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“Oh look! Alucard and his… daughter? Yikes.” This is an official advertisement btw.
THAT is grooming! Think about the optics of this! It would be abysmal! No it would NOT fix the problem of their age gap to make him act like a groomer and get in good with her as a dad. You just cannot completely extract them from the legacy of their relationship in the source materials. It will be incredibly creepy and textbook grooming if you get your way.
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Is this really what you want to associate with an “adoptive father Alucard”? Because the art we create doesn’t exist in a vacuum. All the old content—official and fanmade—is still going to exist.
What is so objectionable about the original dynamic anyway? It’s a pretty fun subversion of the tired and problematic vampire trope of “vampire man stalks teen girl and coerces her into being his”. Instead in their original relationship, Maria is the one who pursues Alucard! It’s the young woman who takes initiative and is given the agency to go after what she wants. She courts and woos him. That’s part of the fun!
Yes, Alucard is 300+. He’s also a fictional creature that doesn’t actually exist IRL and stays eternally young. There are no actual people who will ever have his problem of staying 20 forever so it’s rather silly to say he can’t date any humans because of course he will have an age gap with any of them.
The only real problem I have seen people bring up is Maria’s age, but from what I can tell, the show’s already fixed this. Check it out.
In The Games
Rondo of Blood: Maria is 12. She and Alucard do not meet. Richter is a brother-figure and not romantic.
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There is then a 5 year time skip.
Symphony of the Night: Maria is 17. She and Alucard meet to save Richter. At the end, Alucard says his goodbyes and intends to return to a life of solitude. Maria goes after him because she has developed feelings for him and doesn’t want him to suffer a life alone.
Maria is given agency to pursue what she wants and prove herself even against Alucard’s resistance and hesitance to let another person into his life.
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They spend a year together before we get the audio drama.
Nocturne of Remembrance: Maria continues to try to get close to Alucard. They end up saving each other’s lives and in the end he finally confesses his romantic feelings for her. She is an adult and perfectly able to make her own choices. She chose him. He admits he returns her feelings.
How fandom can look at a story about a young woman subverting the trope and chasing the vampire to get what she wants—basically an anti-Bella Swan—and still find a way to disempower her just so they can pearl clutch? I couldn’t tell you.
So now let’s look at what the show did.
In The Show
Nocturne S1: Maria is 16. She’s been aged up from 12, probably to give her a more active and believable role. But this also means she’s within a normal age to start feeling attraction and expressing her wants. Within her society, she’s even considered of marriageable age. However we are spared the discomfort of our modern values clashing with her contemporaneous ones because Maria in this season isn’t interested in romance. She’s interested in revolution, equality, justice. They’ve portrayed her with so much love and strength. There is no indication they’d betray her by writing her as the child victim of a male suitor. In fact she only meets Alucard in the final few seconds of the season and the two do not even speak a single word to one another.
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Now let’s remember the games had a five year time skip. The show only needs two years to get Maria to the adult age of 18, but assuming the follow through with the timeline and go for the full five?
Maria will be 21.
21.
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Fan concept for adult Maria. Credit:@esp-art
Are you telling me a 21 year old woman is not old or mature enough to make her own decisions? How is this not a total infantilization of women? Do you think a 21 year old badass vampire hunter needs protection from the ace depressed dhampir boy who just wants to sleep and has in no way tried to pursue her until after she expressed consistent and persistent interest in him?
It is not “grooming” to meet someone when they were younger and then meet them again years later as an adult. That’s a thing that happens! In real life! Adults can still make decisions for themselves! It is only grooming if Alucard behaved in a way that would manipulate teen Maria and put her under his control and authority before she can consent. There is no indication that Alucard in the show is going to do this. And yet the fandom is basically demanding it by saying he should make her “his baby girl”?
And what of Maria’s feelings in all this? She just lost her mother and was betrayed by her father shortly after discovering he even existed. She has lived her whole life without a father. She is in no desperate need of a new one. And if she does need a family member, she already has one! Richter is 19 and is her trusted adoptive brother. Why wouldn’t she go to him over a total stranger she just met and who is half vampire - literally a predator creature that feeds on humans!?
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Yeah, hi, Richter Belmont still exists. He and Maria consider each other family. Why would you want her relying on a strange man she just met as a “father figure” rather than her trusted and loving brother?
Have none of you even considered how Maria would feel if Alucard even tried to fill the paternal role? He’d have to force it on her through manipulation and coercion. No way she would want to view him that way. Especially considering she is 16 and likely to be as attracted to the sparkly 20 year old looking sculpted marble beauty as anyone else!
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Don’t mind the beautiful eternally young man who looks made of pure porcelain and light. No teen girl has ever been attracted to this, right? No way it could be exploitative and creepy for him to present himself as her new daddy, giving himself authority and influence over her as his child to mold as he wishes, right? Oh yeah, this is MUCH better than Maria pursuing him of her own volition once she becomes an adult, right guys?
We are truly in the stupidest dark timeline.
Frankly, I don’t care if Netflix has them get together or not. They would work just fine as friends too. I just sure as hell hope they’ll ignore the fans clamoring for a creepy daddy/daughter dynamic. Dressing it up as “concern” won’t hide that for some it’s a fetish, and for others they’re just useful idiots who haven’t thought it through.
I implore you to think it through.
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ladykailitha · 1 month
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Not All That Glitters is Gold Part 12
Well, this story is complete. I finished it on Friday and will be fully uploaded in two weeks. With chapters 14/15 next week on the 31st and 16/17 on April 7th.
This has been one hell of a ride. I never thought I would ever do omegaverse. But this one just demanded to be written.
TAG LIST FOR THIS STORY IS CLOSED
Eddie takes Steve shopping and they go the Grammy's.
Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11
@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @redfreckledwolf @emly03 @itsall-taken
****
Steve loved shopping. It was his favorite thing in the world. He especially loved it when he went with Chrissy or Robin or sometimes even both. But he was finding out that shopping with Eddie was special.
“I’m going to rock your world, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured when they entered the shop.
It was all high end, naturally. But it was the type of stuff Steve would have bought for himself back in high school.
“Eddie...” he whined a little.
It was sweet, it really was. But he couldn’t wear the ‘uniform’ of a omega housewife. Not anymore.
“Just wait, darlin’,” Eddie whispered, “it’s gonna be good.”
Just then a man came over. He was short, barely 5’5”. He had warm brown skin and silver hair.
“Hello, loves,” he said, voice as warm as his skin tone. His accent was the vaguely British of someone who had lived in the United States for a long time.
“Hello,” Eddie greeted, kissing him on each cheek. “Steve, this is Raj. Raj, this is Steve Harrington, he’s a Starcourt omega.”
Raj clasped his hands together. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Steve.”
Eddie turned to Steve. “Raj is a professional stylist. He’s dressed me for many an event and he’s going to help you find your style.”
Steve smiled at him. Because of course Eddie was only trying to help and not make him feel inferior about liking a style that he couldn’t wear.
“Come on, love,” Raj said, “tell me what you like.”
And so Steve did just that.
They spent the afternoon trying on several different combinations and styles that Steve felt like he was a runway model to the crowd of one.
Eddie sat on a big, white, overstuffed armchair and made comments on everything Steve tried on.
Three hours later, Steve was walking out of the store in a navy blue striped polo and tight fitted jeans and several bags filled with clothes of a similar style.
Steve laughed when he exited the shop, twirling around with his bags. Just so happy.
Xander took the bags from Steve and put them in the trunk of the car to keep the bags from going flying.
Eddie pulled him in for a kiss.
“God, you are so gorgeous when you’re happy,” he murmured into Steve’s neck.
Steve hummed. “Well, it’s a good thing that the thing that makes me happiest is you, huh?”
Eddie looked up at him with a tender smile. “Back attcha, big boy.”
Steve wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.
“Will I get to see you before the Grammy’s on Sunday?” he asked, softly.
Eddie sighed. “Unfortunately not. I have so many interviews and shit that I just won’t have time.”
“That’s okay. I still have other work I’ve got scheduled this week.”
Eddie kissed him deeply. “You have fun, babe and I’ll see you on Sunday.”
“Bye.”
Eddie watched as the car pulled away from the curb. He had gotten to meet both Robin and Xander, the two people tasked with keeping Steve safe and he found that he loved them both.
And that fact settled one of the worries in his chest about Steve, knowing that his boy was being looked after properly when he wasn’t around.
****
“Troy’s coming,” Robin said, “I’m not asking, I’m telling you.”
Steve glared at her. “He’s creepy.”
“He’s really not,” she defended. “He’s very protective of the omegas in his care and I need a second pair of eyes on you tonight.”
“I don’t see why,” Steve said rolling his eyes. “I’ve done hundreds of events with only one handler in the past. What makes tonight so special?”
“The press.”
Steve huffed. “I literally when to an event for the press with Nancy, how is this any different?”
“Because these aren’t the civilized press, Steve,” Robin said menacingly. “These are the vultures. The bottom of the barrel. Sleazy, gasping, horrible people who will judge you, seek to tear you down, and humiliate you.”
Steve let out a long sigh. “Fine.”
“Thank you.” She kissed his cheek. “Eddie has his own security, but they’ve been coordinating with Troy and me all week. What’s your signal for needing to get out quick?”
“Moving my clutch from my left hand to my right,” he said.
She nodded. That was a good signal. Steve liked his right hand free to shake hands with people.
“What’s your signal if you need to get away from the alpha?” she asked next.
“I take out my earrings,” he dutifully replied.
Again, not something Steve would normally do, so she nodded.
“The code word to get both of you away from someone who is harassing one or both of you is ‘caveat’.”
“As in ‘one of the caveats for dating an escort is to be understanding when something work related comes up’?”
Robin grinned. “Perfect. All right, we’re good to go.”
Steve grabbed his black clutch and matching shawl. It was February in California, but it was still February.
He draped the shawl over his shoulders and walked out to the car.
Troy and Robin got into a white SUV with Troy at the wheel.
Steve slid into his car to find a waiting Eddie.
“Well this is a surprise,” he cooed, sliding up to press himself against his boyfriend’s side.
Eddie chuckled, lifting his arm to wrap around his shoulders. “Benefits of properly courting you, darlin’. Management is letting me know where you live. Ish.”
“Ish?” Steve asked, scenting along Eddie’s jaw.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “The windows were tinted so I don’t know exactly where we are, but I know enough.”
“Ah.”
Yeah, that made sense.
“You look so pretty, baby,” Eddie said, changing the topic. “You look good enough to eat.”
Steve chuckled. “So do you.”
And he did. He was wearing a black suit coat with black rhinestones embroidered into the lapels, with a white button up shirt that decidedly not, tucked into a pair of black slacks. On his neck were several necklaces and chains and his wrists were covered in bangles and more chains.
He had a single earring in his left ear which was an upside down cross.
Steve was enraptured.
“This is all for you, baby doll,” Eddie murmured into Steve’s ear. “I rarely dress up for these things, but I wanted to look good for you.” His hand reached around to cup Steve’s ass. “Especially with you looking like sex on legs in that short dress.”
Steve chuckled. “You keep this up and we’re going end up torturing poor Xander’s ears by having sex back here.”
Eddie’s eyes blew wide. “Shit Stevie, if we didn’t have to be there at a specific time, I would absolutely hold you to that.” And he pulled Steve even closer to him so that the omega could feel the reaction to his words.
Steve couldn’t stop himself from scenting Eddie again.
“Did I tell you that thing the attracted me to you second to you being the sweetest thing,” he murmured, “was your scent?”
Eddie licked his lips. “Right back ya. Together we smell of Christmas.”
Steve giggled. “A little bit, yeah.”
Xander caught Steve’s eye in the rearview mirror and raised his eyebrow causing the omega to blush, ducking his head shyly.
Xander knew something that Robin didn’t as she couldn’t be in the car with him for things like this.
Despite a Starcourt escorts’ reputation for being sex pots, sex wasn’t allowed in the back of the car. Mainly because of the driver, but also because what they did was meant to be higher than just make outs in the back of a car.
It wasn’t a rule, like not giving out their personal number was a rule, but it was a guideline that Steve had adhered to almost religiously. So for him to even suggest jumping Eddie was completely out of character for him.
Eddie raised Steve’s head gently with his forefinger. “You look so pretty when you blush, baby, but there is nothing going on here that you need to be ashamed of, okay?”
Steve nodded.
Just then the car rolled to a stop, signaling that they had arrived at the red carpet.
Behind them Troy and Robin stepped out with Eddie’s two security members. All of them dressed in black suits and ties with pristine white button up shirts.
All of them pulled out their sunglasses and slid them on. Troy walked up to the door and opened it.
Eddie slid out first, waving to the crowd. Then he turned around and helped Steve get out of the car. Steve waved, too, then slipped his hand around Eddie’s arm.
“The first interview is with Vanity Fair, Kayla Brosnahan,” Troy murmured to them. “She’s very fashion orientated so she’ll ask about your clothes first.”
Steve nodded. He glanced at Eddie, who nodded.
They walked up to the beautiful alpha reporter in a long, slinky, red dress.
“Kayla, Vanity Fair,” she said to the cameraman, “here with Eddie Munson, frontman of Corroded Coffin who is up for three awards tonight, and Starcourt escort, Steve Harrington.”
She turned to them. “Wow! You two look absolutely stunning together. Who designed your clothes tonight?”
Steve smiled. “Omega designer, Lola Martinez and the jewelry is by St Giovanni.”
“Wow,” she breathed. “Those are some pretty big names. And how about you, Eddie? Who are you wearing tonight?”
“Jimmy Pantera.”
Jimmy was a known alternative style fashion designer. Chains, leather, denim, studs; basically the metal and grunge scene. What Eddie as wearing would have been very conservative for his collection.
“Very nice,” Kayla said. “I can see it now. Wow.” She turned to Steve. “Have you had any clients cancel on you because you’re being courted?”
Eddie bristled and was about to lay into her when Steve touched his elbow.
Steve batted his eyelashes with a simpering pout. “Oh, Kayla, you know all client information is confidential.” Kayla opened her mouth to say something snide, but Steve beat her to it. “Plus, I don’t kiss and tell. Not like a certain omega who’s been warming your bed.”
Suddenly she was sputtering and back tracking. “Eddie, you’re up for three awards tonight, what are your hopes for tonight?”
“Corroded Coffin and I are very happy to have been nominated for Best Metal Album, Album of the Year, and Single of the Year for ‘Hell’s Lookin’ Better Than Heaven’, but we were disappointed we weren’t nominated for more. Best Metal Performance is a prime example. Even though we made more money then any other touring band last year, we weren’t even considered.”
Again Kayla was forced to back track and try to start over but they had chosen that moment to move on. Kayla turned to her camera and made a slicing motion across her throat to tell him to stop taping.
All the interviews kept in the same vein. They would be chatty, ask about what they were wearing or who they were most excited to see perform and then drop shit like:
“Are you going to make Steve stop escorting once finish your courtship?”
To which Eddie replied, “I’m not so fragile that I need constant validation that my dick is big enough. Stevie is his own person and if he wants to keep working, why would I stop him?”
Followed by back pedaling and Steve and Eddie moving on.
Next asshole:
“Steve, are you angling for a bond to get out of being an escort?”
Steve and Eddie just blinked at him like he was too stupid for words. They just walked off.
Once Troy just moved them past an interviewer calling their name.
Steve looked down and a little behind him. “What was wrong with that one?”
“He’s been sexually harassing omegas that come through,” Troy muttered back. “Making lewd comments, making passes at them, touching them without their consent.”
Steve nodded and Eddie put a protective hand on his lower back. They made it through the gauntlet and into the Radio Music Hall.
They sat down at the table that already had the rest of the band and their plus ones and settled into enjoy the show.
****
Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17
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dulcelem · 5 days
Text
An analysis of Ivan's life
Part 1
I've thought about doing this since I finished alnst. Reasons? I wanted to try to better understand what was going on in this man's head trying to base myself solely on official things. Also, this is all written under the assumption that events are shown to us chronologically, even tho I know that may not be correct. I'm just trying to see a different point of view. Without much ado:
From the beginning, when Ivan is adopted by an alien, he is taken to places without a collar, offering his absolute submission (because of his apparent apathy towards the situation) in exchange for not being abused. Compared to Till's life, his life was monotonous and not very eventful—after all, how could there be turmoil if the aliens seemed to adore him?
Truly like a tamed pet, he followed his owner wherever the latter wanted. Not only that, but he has a certain kind of affinity with the alien that Mizi and Till previously encountered. In short, even before performing on stage, Ivan already had everything he needed to be one of the most loved by the public, not to mention that his owner was a businessman, as Ivan himself admits in the interview.
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However, Ivan was an unexpressive child who did not know how to show emotions, or, perhaps, because he lived in a world so different from how it should be, few things impressed him to the point of showing reactions. A tamed, loved dog that didn't cause any problems: perfect.
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Despite the fact that Mizi, Sua and Till were his only colleagues, in the interview he states that he had many "friends", that is, people also liked him. However, the feeling didn't seem to be exactly reciprocal: they all seemed trivial to Ivan. Unlike them, these three friends he had, each one meant a different thing.
Starting with Sua, it has already been made clear to us that he identified with her to the point of thinking that they were the same. There could be several reasons for this, the same background, similar stories, but I will highlight what I think is most likely: apathy. Ivan comments on Sua's eyes as she looks at Mizi with such resentment that I can't help but think that's one of the biggest similarities between them. Dead, empty and hopeless eyes. That world is all they know, all they will ever know. Her succinct, reserved, and quiet personality reminded him of his own. That is, until he sees the way her eyes light up when she sees her goddess, her universe — her clematis. Suddenly, he once again became the only different child in that place and, as if that wasn't enough, Sua's goddess returned all that sparkle in her eyes in a way that the person he chose never did, would never do. Anger, frustration, confusion—envy. Something bitter, ugly and painful.
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As for Sua's beloved, Ivan doesn't seem to have bad strong feelings for Mizi. No jealousy, no hate. All we see between them are friendly and kind interactions (in particular, Ivan reminds me of an older brother when it comes to MiziSua). Nothing as expected. He likely understands that it's not her fault that Till doesn't love him back. A curious fact in their relationship is that Mizi's blinding light doesn't seem to affect Ivan. While others cling to her like a beacon amid the darkness and water in the desert, Ivan is not affected.
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corroded-hellfire · 1 year
Note
i can’t stop thinking about as you wish 😩💘 what would eddie have thought of reader on their very first meeting? did he instantly start to have feelings or was it more so when he realised how much the boys liked her and how she treated eddie? my brain is rotting in the best way
big love to you xxxxxx
I am so glad you asked this because I have often thought about these two meeting! I hope you enjoy 💕
Words: 2.7k
[As You Wish masterlist]
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This was it. 126 Thorn Court. The address that your sister scrawled on the paper in the indecipherable scribbling that she calls handwriting. A friend of a friend needed a steady babysitter, so your sister sent it through the grapevine the other way that her little sister has always been great with kids. 
You hadn’t gotten a whole lot of information from your sister, who in turn said she hadn’t gotten much from her friend either. All you knew was the address that was held in your hand, the name that was written beneath it—Brittany Munson—and that the kids were two boys, four and six years old. The whole time leading up to this moment you hadn’t been nervous, but sitting here parked in front of the house in your used gold car, the job interview nerves are kicking in. 
Taking a deep breath, you push the car door open and climb out. As you make your way up to the front door, a strange wave of nerves comes over you. It’s almost a pleasant tingle, like first date nerves, making you let out a confused chuckle. Smoothing your hands down your body, you take one last look down at your outfit of a flowy black skirt and a white t-shirt tucked into it. Assessing that it looks fine, you raise your hand and knock on the blue door. The faint sound of little feet running around meets your ears before a heavier gate approaches the door. When it swings open, you’re not prepared for the sight before you.
A man who can only be described as beautiful stands there, dark curls cascading down to his shoulders, and the prettiest brown eyes you’ve ever seen in your life. He’s tall with a thin frame. Skinny, but toned muscles peeking from underneath his Metallica tee. Had you been asked before what your type was, you wouldn’t have had an answer; your crushes had always been on varied types of guys. But suddenly, you’re realizing this man is exactly your type. Who could possibly be more attractive than him?
You’re so busy taking him in that you don’t realize that he’s doing the same to you. It could’ve been five seconds or five hours, when a little boy comes running over and attaches himself to the man’s leg. This breaks the both of you out of your trance, though neither of you realized the other was in one too. 
“Hi,” the man says, his pretty pink lips curving into a smile. A smile that nearly knocks the breath from you.
“Hi. I’m um, I’m here for…” you start, but are cut off by the little boy.
“You’re pretty!”
“Oh,” you say with a chuckle. “Well, thank you. You’re a handsome little boy, yourself.” He grins proudly, looking from you to his dad. 
“Babysitter, yeah?” the man asks. 
“Yes! That’s me.” You hold your hand out and introduce yourself. His hand slides into yours, rough calluses brushing against your soft skin. The warmth of his hand envelops yours and you’re pretty sure an electric spark travels up your arm at the contact. 
“I’m Eddie. This is Luke.” Eddie, your brain repeats.
“Hi!” Luke says, grinning up at you. 
“Hi,” you say, giving him a smile in return.
“Go get your brother, please,” Eddie tells his son. Luke nods and runs off somewhere in the house. “Please, come in. We’re really glad you could come by and meet us and the kids.” 
“Oh, of course,” you say, stepping inside the house. Eddie closes the door behind you, and you take the opportunity to look around. Directly to your right is the living room of the one-story house. The couch and loveseat look plush and comfy, both facing a dark wood entertainment center that holds a television. The walls are deep navy blue with a few paintings and photo frames scattered along the surfaces. Eddie steps up beside you and you’re once again struck by his beauty.
“Make yourself comfortable,” he says, gesturing towards the couch. “I’ll just go get my wife and we’ll be right back.”
Ugh. Right. He had a wife. And they have kids. That’s why you’re here, after all. But it doesn’t stop you from watching Eddie’s ass as he heads down the hallway. Stop it, you try and scold yourself. This man might be your new boss. He’s probably happily married and content with his life. He doesn’t need some teenager—even if you’d only be one for two more weeks—coming in and fawning all over him. 
As you take a seat on the couch, Luke comes running into the room, a smile identical to his father’s plastered on his lips. In fact, Luke is pretty much a shrunken version of Eddie. Except for the eyes, you notice. Luke has bright blue eyes that he must get from his mother. Another boy follows in behind Luke, a little taller and with hair a few shades lighter brown than his little brother’s. He has the same warm brown eyes as his father, but his hair only has a slight curl. 
“This is Ryan,” Luke says, poking his brother in the arm. “He’s shy sometimes.”
“That’s okay,” you tell Ryan. “I can be shy sometimes, too. Especially when I meet someone new.” 
“Told you she was pretty,” Luke says to his brother, making you giggle.
A beautiful blonde woman walks into the room, Eddie right behind her. The first thought as your eyes land on her is that she could be an actress with how pretty she is. Her heart shaped face is accentuated by long blonde hair that has a bit of a wave to it. Luke’s blue eyes are identical to hers, the mother’s framed by dark lashes and immaculate makeup. She’s a good number of inches shorter than Eddie, with a small frame and curves that any woman would kill for. Watching her as she takes a seat on the loveseat, you subconsciously start to fidget in your seat, fingers tugging on the hem of your skirt. 
“So,” the woman says, crossing one leg over the other. Her gaze settles on you and it’s eerily absent of any warmth. Eddie sits next to her, perched on the edge of his seat. He rests his elbows on his knees as he leans forward, hands clasped together. “You’re a babysitter?” the wife asks.
“Um,” Eddie says before you can say anything. “This is Brittany, my wife.” She flashes you a tight lipped, strained smile and you introduce yourself.
“And uh, yes, I’m a babysitter. I’ve been watching kids since I was fourteen,” you say.
“Which was what, two years ago?” Brittany asks, tilting her head. You can tell it wasn’t meant to be mean, it just seems to be the way she speaks. 
“No,” you say, shifting in your seat. “I’ll be twenty in a couple of weeks.”
“Are you in school?” Eddie asks, a friendly smile on his face.
“I am,” you say. 
“What’re you studying?” he asks.
“Undeclared,” you say, wrinkling up your nose. “Just doing general courses still because I can’t decide what I want to major in.”
“Well, we’ll need you Monday through Friday after school,” Brittany says, jarring both you and Eddie out of the conversation you were having.
“O-Okay,” you say, nodding your head. “All my classes are early, so that’s not a problem.”
“Would you be okay with picking them up from school?” Eddie asks, leaning back on the couch. Ryan walks over and climbs in his father’s lap. Eddie grins and tugs the little boy closer to his chest, letting him get comfortable. 
“Of course,” you answer. 
“I go to preschool,” Luke tells you, proudly. He plops himself down on the couch next to you, his little legs swinging over the ledge. 
“Luke, hush, the adults are talking,” Brittany says. Luke’s face falls and he slinks down in his seat. No wonder Ryan hasn’t opened his mouth, you think to yourself. 
Brittany continues to ask you questions, Eddie popping in every now and then to ask some himself. It’s nothing you didn’t expect–you would be thorough with someone who would potentially be spending so much time with your children as well. Though, there are a few questions from Brittany that have you wondering what they have to do with the job. Do you have a boyfriend? How often do you drink? Are you a sorority girl? You notice Eddie seems to be a little perplexed by the questions as well, confusion furrowing his brow every once in a while. 
“Well,” Brittany says, slapping her palms down on her thighs. “We’re in a bind and you seem competent. Can you start on Monday?” 
“Yeah, I can.” Her abruptness is a little alerting, but you’re keying into that this is just the way she is.
“Do you want to spend some time with the boys first?” Eddie asks, shifting Ryan in his lap.
“I would love to,” you say. “Is it okay if I play a game with you, Ryan?”
The little boy peeks up at his dad who gives him an encouraging nod. He slowly slides out of Eddie’s lap and begins to fidget with his fingers.
“What’s your favorite game?” you ask. 
“Trouble,” Ryan says, voice quiet. 
“Yeah? That’s one of my favorites too. Do you like that game too, Luke?” You turn to the younger boy to be met with a bright smile.
“Yes!”
“Perfect! Should we go play?”
“Yeah,” Luke stands up and takes your hand. “I’ll show you where it is.”
He leads you down the hall to a closet that’s situated between two bedrooms; the kids’ rooms, you assume. Luke is hardly able to reach the doorknob, never mind the game that’s on one of the top shelves. You grab the box, pulling it down, and once you turn around you see that Ryan has followed you down the hallway as well.
“Where should we play, Ryan?” you ask him. 
“The kitchen table?” Ryan asks, voice still soft.
“That sounds good to me.”
“Kitchen is this way!” Luke calls, running down the hall. Ryan walks with you as you follow the four-year-old. Luke’s already sitting at the green kitchen table, ready and raring to go, when you step into the room. 
“Would you like something to drink?” Eddie asks, coming into the kitchen behind you.
“Oh no, I’m okay, thanks,” you reply. 
Brittany comes into the kitchen and Luke looks between the two of his parents.
“Daddy! Mom! D’ya wanna play?” Luke asks. 
“Can’t, baby. I’m busy,” Brittany says. She grabs a bottle of water and shuffles out of the kitchen. Luke juts out his lower lip and turns to his father.
“Sure,” Eddie says, smile lighting up his face. Luke instantly mirrors him, a gleeful look about him as he begins to take pieces out of the game box.
You sit across the table from Eddie, in between the two boys. It’s decided you’ll be the red pieces as Luke explains the rules of the game—which you already know, but let him discuss anyway. 
Ryan goes first, and the game play begins around the table. Despite him being the most excited, Luke seems to have the worst luck as he can’t get his pieces free from home. He becomes more and more frustrated as the game goes on, eventually thick angry tears tumble out of his eyes. 
“Hey,” you say with a frown. “What’s going on?”
Luke rubs at his eye, nodding at the game board. “Can’t move.”                                                                                                                
“Aw, Luke. It can be super frustrating when things aren’t going our way, I know. Do you want to take a quick break so you can calm down? We won’t skip your turn.” Luke nods, his curls bobbing up and down with his head. “Sometimes it helps if I wash my face and take a few deep breaths. But not at the same time or you’ll get water up your nose!”
Luke giggles and a smile curls on your lips. 
“M’kay,” Luke says as he slides out of his chair. When you face forward again in your seat, Eddie’s looking at you with a small smile playing over his handsome features. 
“W-Was that okay?” you ask, suddenly nervous you overstepped in some way.
“That was great,” Eddie says with a chuckle. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a potential tantrum thwarted off so quickly.”
His praise makes you blush, ducking your head down shyly. A look at the game board has you remembering that Ryan is winning—and sitting right next to you.
“And you, little mister,” you say, grinning over at the boy. “How’d you get so good at this game? They teach you this in school?”
Ryan’s smile warms your heart, feeling like you’re finally breaking through to him. 
“Noooo,” he says. “I’m just good at it.”
“Yes, you are!”
“Ryan’s my little hard worker,” Eddie says, moving some hair out of his son’s eyes. “He puts his mind to something, and he does it better than anyone.”
“I believe that,” you say. 
Luke jogs back into the room, hopping back on his chair.
“Feeling better?” you ask, and he gives you two thumbs up. 
Ryan ends up winning the game, but Luke comes in second, beating you and Eddie. It may have been because the two of you let him, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. By the time you’re getting ready to leave, Ryan is talking up a storm, telling you about his teacher and his friends and every little thing his mind can think of. 
“Can I give you a hug?” Ryan asks when it’s time for you to go. You try to blame the sudden pressure of tears behind your eyes on hormones, but you’re pretty sure it’s not even that time of month. 
“Of course,” you say, bending down. Ryan throws his arms around your neck, and you squeeze him in return. Luke is right behind him, wanting his own chance to give you a hug goodbye. “I’ll see you guys on Monday, okay?” 
“I’ll walk you to the door,” Eddie offers. You hadn’t seen Brittany since she left the kitchen earlier—and that’s fine by you. She’s clearly your least favorite person in the family. Eddie had written down all the information you’d need and given it to you, so you were officially ready for your first day on Monday. 
“They’re really great kids,” you tell Eddie.
“Thanks,” he says and the proud look in his eyes has you practically swooning. It really isn’t fair how attractive this man is. How attractive your boss is, you realize. “Is there anything else you need before Monday?”
You shake your head as Eddie reaches for the doorknob. “Don’t think so.”
“Well, if you think of anything, you’ve got my number,” Eddie says, gesturing to the piece of paper in your hand. He has yours as well, stuck on the fridge with a magnet. 
“I guess I’ll see you on Monday,” you say.
“Yeah.” Eddie slips his hands into his pockets as he leans against the open door. “You know, I’m really glad we found you. We needed a babysitter, and I was kinda resigned to having to settle for someone. But you seem perfect. F-For the job.”
Cheeks warming, you give him a bashful smile. “Thank you,” you say.
“I should be thanking you. I have to admit I’ll have more peace of mind knowing you’re watching the boys.”
“I promise you they’re in good hands,” you say, reluctantly turning for the door. “I’ll see you on Monday, Mr. Munson.” 
Eddie’s silently glad that you’ve turned away at that moment, so you don’t catch the hitch in his breath. There’s no way he can deal with you calling him that all the time.
“Call me Eddie,” he says, forcing his tone to be casual. 
“Okay. See you on Monday, Eddie.”
“See you Monday, sweetheart.”
Keeping your composure until you get into your car is harder than it should be. But once you’re buckled in and you see that Eddie had closed the front door behind you, you let out a squeal and throw your head back against the headrest. 
“Holy shit,” you say to yourself. “He called me sweetheart. This man is going to be the death of me.”
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filmofhybe · 6 months
Text
a song from me to you
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pairing : park jeongseong x reader Genre : Producer x singer , angsty , ex to lovers , fluff warnings : swearing , kissing 1196 words
a/n : been thinking about producer Jay after he was listed in the credit of sweet venom. So proud of my boy and I hope this comeback would be a success as always!!
> masterlist of all my work
© filmofhybe on tumblr — do not copy , translate or share.
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Y/n Y/l/n, a talented singer-songwriter who had a gift for pouring her heart and soul into her music, creating songs that resonated deeply with listeners. Y/n’s career had taken off when she met Jay, a skilled producer who believed in her talent and helped shape her sound.
Y/N and Jay not only shared a professional relationship but also a romantic one. They were deeply in love, and their connection fueled their creative collaborations. Jay is always willing to guide y/n through during recording, praising her from time to time like a good boyfriend he is. Staying up late just to produce songs that are now top hits of hers, supporting her through everything. Both of them were so thankful for each other.
However, as time went on, the pressures of the industry and their personal lives began to strain their relationship. As time goes on, both of them eventually realize their ideas aren’t colliding together anymore, nothing seems to be working between them. As stress and disagreements starts involving constantly, they decided to part ways both personally and professionally. Leaving piles of unfinished lyrics and production behind.
After their broke up, Y/N had written a poignant song for Jay, a heartfelt tribute that mirrored the love they once shared. But she had never released it, believing that without Jay's production, the song wouldn't reach its full potential. It remained hidden away, a secret piece of her heart.
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“So have you ever have a song you wanted to release so badly but just can’t?”
Currently, an interviewer is asking y/n about the unreleased song during an interview.
“yeah. I always will have. And it will always be that song.”
“And why’s that..?”
“I wrote it for someone, or should I say ex now. I scrapped it, not because it wasn’t nice or it brought bad memories. Is just I think without him helping me produce it, it just won’t be the same as my other songs. And it just won’t hit different.”
Y/N poured her heart out, explaining that she hadn't released it because she felt it needed Jay's touch to truly capture its essence.
“I feel like I know who it is…”
“I think everyone knows. He really means the absolute world to me. I’m just mad the industry broke us apart.”
“If you guys ever cross path again, would you release it?”
“Absolutely. 100% actually. Because this song can imply with anyone if you are still so In love with that person your no longer with.”
Upon hearing y/n’s words, Jay found himself overwhelmed with emotions. He realized the depth of Y/N's feelings and the impact their collaboration had on her music. They realized none of their music would be perfect without each other. They both needed each other without realizing it until one spoke up. Filled with hope, Jay decided to reach out to y/n, hoping to rekindle their relationship and artistic partnership.
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A few days passed, y/n was initially surprised by Jay's contact
“Hey I saw your interview.. it was really meaningful.”
“haha thank you..”
“I know it’s about me. I’m willing to risk everything I’m currently doing just to work with you again. Not just work but to continue our love again. You don’t understand I only work best with you.”
“I know.. you’re the only person that gets me. If I’m being honest with you, my songs aren’t the even close to being the best without your producing. I hate how we thought us separating was a good decision.”
“Baby you know I’ll always wait for you, for you to reach out once again. So I can produce more songs and memories with you.”
“Then what are you waiting for? Come over tomorrow I miss you too much..”
they both took some time to reflect on their past and the love they shared. After careful consideration, she decided to give it another chance. She believed in their connection and the magic they created together.
A few days later, Y/N and Jay found themselves back in the studio, working side by side once again. There was a renewed sense of purpose and understanding between them, having grown individually during their time apart. They poured their hearts into their music, creating an atmosphere of creativity and passion. The studio was once again filled with laughter, pictures and Polaroids of each other, kissing and cuddling section through out, and jay’s praises filled the air once again.
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“Baby you’re doing really good, I just need your voice to be more high pitch there alright? You’re doing a good job baby girl.”
“Ugh imma die from all these notes your telling me to do..”
“The other producers must be going easy on you because I ain’t, now focus.”
“Kisses for reward?”
“Always my love..”
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“You know you’re so good at producing sometimes is scary.”
“And you’re so good at writing lyrics it scares me sometimes.”
“Stop making me Flattered” I mumbled against his neck. Arms wrapped around his neck as I cuddle into his lap. Watching him focus on fixing the track.
“I’m not I’m just being serious love, you’re really good at it.. the lyrics are beautiful. I can’t believe this song is about me and I’m producing it.” As jay looks at you with much adoration in his eyes
“Everything about you is beautiful that’s why the lyrics are always. And with you producing it, it makes it ten times more better!” You laughed and before you know it jay kisses you deeply before mumbling a small “thank you” against your lips.
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And finally, the day arrived when Y/N felt ready to share the song she had written for Jay with the world. Titled "A Song from Me to You," it was a beautiful testament to their love and the journey they had been through. Y/N's heartfelt lyrics, combined with Jay's personal touch as a producer, made the song truly extraordinary. She was so thankful for Jay, so grateful that she can finally share this song she once scrapped to the word.
When "A Song from Me to You" was released, it made waves in the music industry. Listeners were captivated by the raw emotion and the undeniable chemistry between Y/N's vocals and Jay's production. The song struck a chord with people from all walks of life, touching their hearts and reminding them of the power of love. After a year of hard work, the song was now a top hit once again.
Y/N and Jay's reunion not only brought them personal happiness but also propelled their careers to new heights. The success of "A Song from Me to You" opened doors for more collaborations, making more memories in the future, loving each other and them continuing to create music that resonated deeply with their fans. Y/n and Jay's journey was a reminder that sometimes, second chances can lead to beautiful outcomes, both personally and professionally.
And I was delighted to know that jay and the world can hear the lyrics of “a song from me to you.”
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sweetbbarnes · 1 year
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The Interview | Bucky Barnes
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Pairing: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Celebrity!Fem!Reader
Summary: After directing a successful movie about Captain America’s life, the media seems to think that you and Steve Rogers would be the perfect match. Little do they know, your heart has already been taken by his best friend, the infamous ex-assassin James Barnes. And although you two are in a secret relationship and even secretly live together, when Bucky hears people talking about how you and Steve would be perfect for each other, his insecurity gets the best of him. But it’s okay, because you are determined to show your soldier just how much you love him. I got the inspiration to write this fic from the prompt “I don’t love you any less just because no one else can see it.” and also from the song I’ll Never Smile Again.
Warnings: Bucky is insecure (like, a lot) and self deprecating; jealousy (if you squint it); mentions of Bucky’s history and trauma; mentions of scars and past injuries; lots of feelings; lots of fluff; swearing; pet names; alcohol is mentioned; sexual themes, slight sub!bucky and dom!reader, allusions to dom!bucky and sub!reader (they kind of switch, idk how to explain), oral sex (m receiving), unprotected sex, the smut is written in both Bucky and reader perspectives; please let me know if I missed anything.
This is a +18 work. Minors DNI.
English is not my first language.
I do not consent to have this fic translated, copied or published to any other sites/apps. Do not steal my work.
I don’t understand anything about filmmaking so this is entirely based on information I read on google.
A/N: this is the first fic I post here as well as the first time I try writing something in english and I’m actually really nervous about sharing it, but I liked it a lot so I decided to post. Also I had no idea smut was so hard to write, so I’m sorry if it’s not that good, I promise I tried my best.
Word Count: 7.0k
“So, this is your first time directing a project after years working as an actress. How was this experience?” Bucky hears the interviewer’s voice. After your debut as a director with a movie about Steve Rogers’ life, you’ve been going to a lot of interviews — most of them with Steve, like this one — and as much as Bucky sees you everyday, he also enjoys watching them when you’re not home and he misses you. He likes to see your eyes shining a little brighter when you talk passionately about your work, the polite smile on your lips while you pay attention to the questions, the sweet voice you use to answer them, the way your eyebrow arches a little bit in annoyance when interviewers bring up irrelevant subjects.
“You’re aware that I literally live with you, right? You don’t have to watch those to see me.” You had joked the first time you caught him doing it. But Bucky just likes to see his girlfriend, even if it’s through a screen. Today is no different, so he sits there on the couch, listening closely while you answer the question, looking gorgeous as always.
“Well, it was definitely challenging. Not only was it my first attempt at directing, but the whole premise of the film was different from everything I’ve ever worked on, you know, ‘cause telling a fictional story is one thing, but telling the story of a real person is something else completely. It takes a lot of responsibility. But it was good, I felt a sense of independence that I never had as an actress. If I didn’t like something or if it didn’t feel right, I could just change it.”
“While we’re on the subject, Captain Steve Rogers, how was it like to have someone make a movie about your life?”
Steve smiles confidently at the man, already so used to this celebrity life that he barely resembles the shy, introverted kid Bucky knew in the 40’s.
“I mean, there’s a whole exhibition about me in a museum, so it’s not like my life is a secret,” the three of you laugh at the joke “but it was easier than I thought it would be. When Y/N first told me about it, she said that she didn’t want to simply tell Captain Americas’ story, everybody knows it, anyway.” He shrugs, and it’s true, everybody knows about the skinny boy from Brooklyn who took a supersoldier serum, lost his best friend, sacrificed himself and then was frozen for years just to wake up in a totally different world than the one he grew up in. But what no one knew — at least before the movie — is who Steve Rogers was before the serum, what changed and what stayed the same after he took it, or what it was like to wake up to a world he knew nothing about and how, exactly, this whole situation affected him. And that’s exactly what you had intended to show. Not how Steve Rogers became Captain America, but how Captain America changed Steve Rogers - avoiding topics that were too personal, of course.
“She had a totally different approach than what I am used to, and it was fun. It also helped that she did a really good job with it!” The blond continued.
“She really did, the film is amazing! It shows us a more human side of you, not only the hero, but also the person behind it. At least when I watched it, I got to understand a lot of things that I’d never stopped to think about before and ended up feeling more connected to the person that helps protect us everyday.” The interviewer agrees with Steve, and you thank both of them with a huge grin. “By the way you talk, Captain, I am assuming you were present through the entire production?”
“Yeah, whenever I wasn’t on missions. She wanted to stick to the truth as much as possible, so I got to check every information before it was added to the movie, and also chat a little with the actors.”
“So,” the man says your name, “everybody wants to know, how was it like working with the world’s favorite superhero?”
“First of all, don’t fool yourselves, Captain America is a pain in the ass.” You say, earning a loud laugh from the interviewer as Steve feigns an offended look. Bucky agrees with you.
“I am not! And you should watch your language, miss. There are children watching this!” the blond exclaims. He’s laughing but it’s clear that he’s serious about the language thing.
“See?” You say, pointing to Steve since he just proved your point “The lectures are endless!” You roll your eyes playfully, and proceed to answer the question seriously. “Steve and I were already friends before everything, so yeah, it was pretty normal. The only difference is that we had to see each other a lot more than usual.”
“Since you talked about your relationship before the film, rumor is that you two are very close. So the internet is wondering, maybe there is something more than just friendship?” The interviewer asks in a suggestive tone. What the fuck?
Bucky watches as your smile falters and Steve’s eyes widen, both your reactions showing that this is an unexpected question. His heart starts to beat quickly as you answer with a dry “our friendship is strictly platonic”, but the soldier doesn’t wanna hear any more of that conversation. How dare the man ask something like that? And also, what does he mean with “the internet is wondering”? Does the internet think you and Steve are a couple? You and Steve? You and his fucking best friend? No, you are Bucky’s girlfriend. Okay, the internet doesn’t know that. And, alright, hiding the relationship was his idea in the first place, because of how the media sees him and how it could affect your career, but part of the agreement between you two was that you would never talk about your romantic life publicly, so you always make it clear that relationship talk during interviews is off limits, and it enrages him that someone would disrespect your boundaries like that. And again, you and Steve?
Bucky’s head is spiraling when he grabs his phone - that you teached him how to use - and searches for your name plus Steve Rogers. And that’s when he sees it. Gossip blogs suggesting that the two are dating and talking about how it would be the “perfect couple”, videos of you and Steve gazing at each other’s eyes and touching each other’s arms during interviews - Bucky knows those looks and touches were innocent, but apparently some people are really good at taking things out of context. There’s also photoshopped pictures of you two holding hands, hugging, kissing-
He doesn’t notice when the interview ends. He knows you and Steve are not together, but seeing all of those things made him sick to his stomach. And he felt his heart being ripped from his chest when he realized that you and Rogers would, indeed, make the perfect couple. Steve, the world’s first and favorite superhero, the one who carries the stars and stripes, the blond-hair-blue-eyes personification of perfection, and you, a hero that fights for justice, not with guns or a shield, but instead using all the power and influence you have to bring attention to the truth and try to help those in need. And Bucky? A brainwashed ex-assassin, hydra’s failed experiment, a broken man with a weapon instead of an arm and according to many people, a black hole instead of a heart. That’s why you couldn’t tell anyone about this relationship, because Bucky is not and will never be perfect for you. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and he doesn’t deserve you.
_
“Hey, babe!” You greet your boyfriend, entering the house you two share after a long day of meetings and interviews. You love what you do, but some days can be very stressful, today being one of them. After that fiasco of an interview that gave you and your agent a huge headache, you’re just glad you’re finally home with Bucky.
The brunet is sitting at the couch, elbows resting on his knees and head between his hands. Realizing he’s probably anxious or stuck in his own mind again, you walk over to this large frame, hold his wrists - flesh and metal - and move them away from his face. He’s a little startled with the sudden interaction, but relaxes as soon as he sees your warming smile.
“Hi, love.” You say, quietly, your heart breaking when you see the hurt in his beautiful blue eyes. "What 's wrong?”
“Nothing.” He immediately tries to hide his expression with a fake grin. “Nothing’s wrong, sweets.” And gives you a peck kiss.
His lie doesn’t fool you, because you know Bucky, and you can tell when he’s upset. If not for his posture when you came in and his pained expression, then for the way he didn’t greet you like he usually does, with a tight hug and a hot open-mouthed kiss that screams how much he missed you as the touch-starved man he is. But you also know that sometimes your boyfriend needs space, when he starts to drown himself in guilt or remembers all the torture and loss he was put through, and will only talk about it when he’s ready, if he wants to talk about it at all. These times, all you can do is remind him that you’re here, until he feels comfortable enough to speak, or until he gets better on his own without the need to verbalize the horrors inside his head.
You sit by his side and tangle your fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp softly. He leans into the touch and tells you how his day was when you ask him - avoiding the interview topic, because he doesn’t want to talk about that right now.
_
Bucky knows you can tell when he hides something. But he also knows that you are patient and loving and understanding, so when he doesn't want to talk about his feelings, you wouldn’t force him. Most days he’s glad for that, but today he wishes you had seen through his bullshit and just canceled dinner despite what he said.
“Do you want to call off dinner tonight? It’s okay if you do.” You had said while you two were still sitting on the couch, earlier today.
“No, it’s okay.” He answered, shaking his head.
You pursed your lips. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
Now, as you talk happily with Natasha, Sam and Steve, Bucky can’t stop the anxiety in his chest. In fact, it gets a tiny bit worse every time you and his best friend talk about the movie or the interviews, joke about something that happened on set that he doesn’t understand or even when you two went to grab the wine bottle at the same time and your hands touched- Okay, Bucky’s definitely going insane. You are Steve’s friend. Friends talk and joke and share innocent touches. But it still hurts, because Steve would be better for you. If not Steve, then someone else who’s not a traumatized murderer that will only take you down with him and-
“..., right, love?” You squeeze Bucky’s thigh, bringing his attention back to the table.
He stares at you blankly, unaware of what was going on around him.
“Yeah- yeah, right.” Bucky mumbles, and then gets up from his seat. He can’t stay here anymore. “I have to go… grab something.”
_
After excusing yourself from the table, you find your boyfriend leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed and eyes closed.
“Why didn’t you ask me to cancel dinner if you’re not feeling okay?” Your tone is sweet when you ask, there’s no judgment, only genuine worry.
“I am feeling okay.” He lies without opening his eyes.
“I know you’re not. You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” you try again, calmly.
“It’s just-” Bucky huffs, unfolding his arms to rub his flesh hand against his face. “You and Steve.”
You tilt your head in confusion. “What about me and Steve?”
“I’ve seen the interview, and what people are saying about you two on the internet.” he answers, finally looking at you.
“Oh, baby, it doesn’t matter-” You try to shrug it off, because it really doesn’t matter to you, but he interrupts.
“No, it does.”
His sudden interruption surprises you a little bit, but you don’t let it upset you. You know Bucky struggles to express his feelings sometimes. “Why?”
He just averts his gaze, putting on a sarcastic expression like he always does when he gets defensive. But there’s only one reason why Bucky would get defensive.
“Are you jealous?” You ask curiously, not mocking or teasing, just wanting to understand.
“I’m not-” There’s a little pause in which he seems to be considering his own feelings. “No, I’m not jealous.”
“Then what’s the problem, babe? You know Steve and I are not together.”
“It’s just that maybe you should, y’know.” Instead of explaining something, he just confuses you more with his words, uttered with such naturality as if it was the most obvious thing. If you weren’t so disoriented by this conversation, you’d be thinking that Bucky could make a great actor by how he’s good at hiding his emotions sometimes.
“What did you say?”
“I said maybe you two should be together. He knows you for longer than I do.” Bucky tries to come up with an excuse to what he just said, not wanting to explain his real motives.
“That’s not a reason- You’re not making any sense.” You say, still calm, trying to understand the situation as best as you can, because you have no idea why he would suggest something like that.
“Or maybe not Steve, but someone like him.” He continues, ignoring your confused look. But you can see that his defensiveness is slowly breaking.
“Someone like him? Bucky, what do you mean with all that?”
You really try to make sense of what he’s saying, but you can’t, because what the fuck is happening? 
Then you see it. The way his Adam's apple moves up and down, his mouth tilts slightly downwards and both his hands clench in fists. But even if you didn’t know his body language so well, you’d still notice the searing pain emanating from his eyes.
“Someone that’s not broken. Someone that’s good, a hero. A person that you wouldn’t have to hide.” He whispers.
You can swear your heart has been ripped off your chest when the words sink in, the ones he said and the ones you know are eating his mind even though he didn’t say them out loud — I’m a burden. I’ll never be good enough. I’ll always have to be a secret, because people think I’m a monster. Because sometimes I think I’m a monster — and you finally understand his demeanor. But before you can say anything, Steve appears at the kitchen door, a concerned look in his eyes “Everything okay?”
Bucky immediately stiffens up and heads towards his friend, once again building up his walls. He can barely explain himself to you, he doesn’t need Steve to be added to the conversation. “Yeah, everything’s fine, pal.”
You watch as the man you love makes his way out of the kitchen and back to the dinner table, a lot of feelings making their way up your chest. You are worried, of course, but also hurt that Bucky could consider the possibility of letting you go to someone else and a little indignant that he thinks you are capable of loving another person as much as you love him. And you know that Bucky has a complicated past and it’s not your obligation to heal him entirely, but you can’t help but feel slightly disappointed in yourself, because even after two years trying to prove to him whenever you could that he is loved by you and he’s worthy of it, you still couldn’t get rid of those doubts that ate his mind every now and then. 
After you two started dating, you made sure to always be honest about your feelings, constantly telling him that you love him, that you’re not gonna leave him, that you don’t care about what he’s done as the winter soldier, ‘cause it was never his choice, that he is enough and that yes, you truly think that he’s attractive and handsome and beautiful and hot and perfect even with the metal arm. 
The first time he got back from a mission unconscious and heavily injured, you didn’t leave his side for even one second, terrified of losing him, until he woke up and the doctors assured you three times that he was going to be okay. Then you made your agent cancel all of your appointments for the next week and brought him to your house to take care of his wounds until there was no trace of them in any part of his body, even though he said you didn’t have to and that the serum would heal him. Before he got back to his old apartment, you made him promise that he would try to never do that again. 
When you noticed that he never took off his shirt during sex, you had asked to see his scars and although he was insecure about it at first, he ended up trusting you. You remember gently tracing all the scarred skin, then kissing every inch where your fingers had touched, trying to show that he didn’t have to hide himself from you. 
When he got unsure about how serious the relationship was and you noticed he was scared you would leave him, you asked him to move in with you, wanting to prove how serious you are about this. 
Was all of that not enough to make him believe you? Does he still think you’re not serious when you rearrange your entire schedule after he gets back from missions just to be with him for a little longer? Does he think you’re lying when you talk about your love for him? When you do everything he needs to help him deal with the pain — even if what he needs is space and it kills you to be apart while he’s feeling depressed? What about all the times you gave yourself to him entirely, at late nights when your need for each other was so deep that you both let go of control?
No. You bury those insecurities at the back of your mind. You’re not gonna let them take over, you know you love Bucky and you’re gonna keep trying to prove it to him every single day, even if a part of him never believes you.
When you meet Steve at the door, he lowers his tone and points to his best friend. “Is this about the interview?”
“Kind of.” You sigh. “I’ll talk to him later.”
The rest of the dinner is fine. Bucky’s still quiet, he thought that he would feel better after taking everything out of his chest, but he somehow feels worse now. Steve shoots worried glances at both you and Bucky every now and then, but continues talking and joking like he was before. If Sam or Natasha noticed that you had a sadness in your eyes that wasn’t there before, none of them said anything.
_
“We know you're super important and busy, but don’t forget about us, mere mortals, alright?” Sam jokes, and you laugh before closing the door with a smile, saying goodbye to your friends. Mere mortals, yeah.
You sigh, making your way back to the kitchen, where your boyfriend had retreated to after saying a quick goodbye, a few minutes earlier. You’re aware that Bucky’s supersoldier senses pick up on your presence as soon as you enter the room, but he doesn’t say a word while he washes the dishes. You just stay there for a few minutes, watching how the muscles in his back flex with the movement of his arms, how the tight black shirt outlines his body, covering his torso, his biceps, the scars that you had seen and felt so many times before. God, you love him so much, and you’re gonna prove it to him. Over and over again, until he quits trying to push you away.
A famous song from the 40’s starts to play on the speaker, and you take the moment to get closer and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your hands on his stomach. You place your chin on the crook of his neck and start to sing softly right next to his ear.
“I’ll never smile again Until I smile at you I’ll never laugh again What good would it do?”
Bucky stops what he’s doing. You know he loves when you hug him from behind and whisper in his ear.
“For tears would fill my eyes My heart would realize That our romance is through”
Bucky closes his eyes to enjoy the moment and lets out a shaky breath when you place a kiss on his shoulder before continuing to sing.
“I'll never love again I'm so in love with you I'll never thrill again To somebody new”
Instinctively, he places his hands on top of yours. Both of them are cold, one due to the metal, the other due to the water, but you don’t care.
“Within my heart I know I will never start To smile again Until I smile at you”
You two stay like this for some minutes, eyes closed, bodies touching, the smell of the shampoo he used to wash his hair earlier filling your senses. When the song ends, Bucky turns in your arms to face you and whispers your name. But before he can say anything, you grab his face between your two hands.
“You are not broken. You are good. You are my hero. And I don’t love you any less just because no one else can see it.” You say firmly, one hundred percent sure of your words. 
He still tries to argue, though.
“But I am-”
“You know what you are, Barnes? You are the love of my life. And I know I’m supposed to be patient and understanding, and let you figure things out on your own, but I can’t do it this time. I’m not gonna let another second pass with you thinking that Steve, or anyone else, would be better for me, ‘cause this is not true.”
Bucky lets out a heavy breath. 
“I- I don’t- I’m not-” but he can’t find the words. Why won’t you see what he’s trying to show you?
You soften your eyes when you take in his expression. Bucky is on the verge of tears, mouth trembling, and it breaks your heart to see your soldier in so much pain because of stupid things people were typing on the internet - about him, about you, about your love life.
“What about you see what I am trying to show you?” You whisper, and only then he realizes he had said that out loud. “Because I’m trying to show you that I love you more than anything. All of you. The good parts and the bad ones. All your smiles and all your scars. And there’s nothing you can say, or do, that will make me stop adoring everything about you.”
You connect your lips with his before he has time to argue. It’s a loving kiss, slow and gentle, carrying every single feeling that burns inside your chest, communicating everything you want him to know - that you love him unconditionally, that you’re not gonna judge him for who he is, that you are his and he is yours. He reciprocates with the same amount of tenderness and love.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers when you break the kiss. “I just want what’s best for you.”
“It’s okay, love.” You whisper. “I know.”
And you crash your lips with his again, not so gentle this time. 
_
Now that you managed to push his insecurities away, Bucky finally allows the familiar need for you to emerge once again. He lifts his flesh hand to the back of your head, holding it strongly while his tongue invades your mouth without any warning and he sucks on your lower lip. Even though you two had sex many times before, he always feels so desperate, never once failing to show you just how hungry he is for you. You break the kiss to giggle when he uses his metal hand to grip your hip with strength enough to leave a mark, but not to truly hurt you. Bucky would never hurt you.
“So eager to someone that just tried to break up with me.” You tease.
“Can’t even remember why I thought that was a good idea.” He places wet kisses through your jaw and neck. Bucky knows his insecurities are never gone that easily, and some of them will probably come back later to haunt his peace, but right now it doesn’t matter, because right now he wants you and he’ll do anything to get what he wants.
“Oh, something about how I should ditch you for Steve.”
“Let’s not talk about it. It was ridiculous.” He mumbles, feeling his self control slowly fade away with every touch of his lips on your skin. Talking is the less thing he wants to do, but apparently he’ll have to.
“Why? You don’t like the thought of your best friend doing this to me?” You ask with a smug smile, gesturing between you two.
Bucky stops what he’s doing and looks at you exasperated.
“Please don’t say this kind of thing ever again.”
“What? You wanted me to date Steve and thought we wouldn’t get intimate if we were together?” You ask, amused with his expression.
Actually, I haven’t thought about that part. Bucky sighs after he realizes you’re trying to not so subtly remind him of how absurd his idea was.
“Alright, I get it. It was stupid. Will you drop it now?” He pleads, feeling more frustrated each second that passes with him not being inside of you. Especially after your outrageous suggestion.
“It was stupid.” You’re aware of his desperation but choose to ignore it until he understands. “Promise you’ll never do that again?”
“Feeling insecure? I don’t think I can control that.” He mumbles.
“Assuming that you’re not worthy.” You tuck a strand of his short hair behind his ear. “It’s okay to feel insecure, really. But when you do, please just tell me, and I’ll remind you of how much I love you.”
You are not broken. You are good.
“Okay.” He whispers with a hoarse voice.
Bucky tries to kiss you again, but you hold his face a few inches away from you. Goddammit, woman!
“Promise?” You whisper, still refusing to give him what he wants. You need to hear him say it.
“I promise, sweets.” He answers, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “Now can I please kiss you?”
His plea sends a jolt of electricity straight to your core. Oh, you absolutely love when Bucky Barnes begs for you. Instead of answering with words, you return your mouth to his in a passionate kiss, with your arms around his neck.
Suddenly, the only thing that Bucky can think about is you, the delicious taste of your lips, the softness of your hair entangled between his flesh fingers, the tempting sounds you’re letting out against his mouth, the seductive touch of your skin on his skin-
“Want you so bad.” He murmurs in a rough voice, and before he realizes, he’s pushing you to your shared bedroom, never taking his mouth away from yours.
“Don’t worry, babe, I’m gonna take care of you.” You break the kiss to answer, making your intentions clear. You rarely act dominant during sex, but when you want to, you can get him to do pretty much anything you ask. That’s how much power you have over him, and although Bucky usually likes to be the one in charge, he sometimes enjoys being reminded that you have him entirely in the palm of your hand. And you certainly like to remind him that he can let go of his imposing behavior every once in a while. You drag your hands through his muscular stomach under the shirt, pronouncing the next words in a demanding voice. “Take your clothes off, Barnes.”
Knowing better than to disobey you, he undresses himself under your gaze. You had seen him naked countless times before, but you still take a moment to admire, and Bucky feels like he might die when your eyes travel slowly through his entire body, from the beautiful blue eyes, to the swollen lips, through the scarred skin where meat meets metal and his defined stomach, lingering on his muscular thighs and already hard length, then his legs and feet, and finally back to his eyes.
“Will I get to see you naked too?” He asks, already feeling smaller. Well, for a man that’s used to taking you by the waist, pushing you into the bed and easily ripping your clothes off, asking this kind of thing definitely makes him look smaller. Submissive. But it’s a good feeling.
“I’ll think about it.” You shrug and push his chest gently to make him sit on the bed. With him sitting down, slightly leaning back, and you standing on your feet between his legs, you look powerful, and it arouses him. You smirk, noticing his expression. “But tonight is about you. Gotta show my pretty boy how much I love him.”
Bending over just a little bit to reach his face, you start to kiss his cheeks, then the corner of his lips, his jaw and neck, all of that while lightly running your fingernails over his bare thighs. Bucky tries to hold back a groan.
“Don’t hold back your noises.” You whisper next to his ear, immediately catching on his shyness. He can feel your warm breath as you speak, and it sends shivers down his whole body. “Wanna hear you, my love.”
The man barely hears you, focusing on the feel of your nails on his skin. He loves it. He loves you. He wants you to touch his entire body with your hands and lips. He wants to be inside of you right now- 
Bucky lets out a louder groan this time, and you happily continue your trail of kisses, on his shoulders, down to his stomach, until you’re on your knees in front of him, face to face with his thick cock, a little bit of pre-come already making its way down his reddened tip.
“Hands behind your back.” You order, using your arms to open his legs wider.
Leaning on his elbows, Bucky looks down at you startled. He’s not strong enough to keep himself from touching you while you give him a blow job. He utters your name in an almost whine, trying to argue, but a single look from you with arched eyebrows makes him shut up and obey. This is gonna be a hell of a long night, he thinks.
His dick gets impossibly harder when you pepper light kisses through his inner thighs and then bite and lick the same spots, so close from where he needs you, but still not touching it. “Sweetheart.”
“Yes?”
“I need you.” He mutters.
“What do you need me to do, Bucky?” You feign innocence, knowing exactly what he wants, but waiting for him to ask.
“Need you to- need your mouth.” He begs. “Please.”
Delicious noises emerge from his throat as soon as you start to slowly slide your tongue through his entire length with your mouth wide open, staring at his lust-filled eyes as you go. He clenches his jaw tightly when you wrap your lips around his tip, circling the sensitive area with your tongue. He grunts as he tries really hard not to jerk his hips up, and you take your time sucking and licking his tip, enjoying the reactions too much to rush this.
“Fuck.” He hisses. “Feels so good.”
He watches in awe as you guide one of his legs to rest on your shoulder. He wants to tell you that he’s too heavy and you don’t have to do that, but the words are lost in the dizziness of his brain when you take him so deep inside your mouth that his tip reaches the back of your throat. Rolling his eyes involuntarily, the only thing going through Bucky’s head is how heavenly you feel as you take him like this.
His cock is so thick and hard, and as you start bobbing your head up and down you can’t help the feeling that you’ll never have enough of him. You dig your nails into the thigh that’s resting on your shoulder and use the other hand to wrap his base, since he still doesn’t fit entirely inside your mouth. The almost pornographic sounds your boyfriend is making encourage you to fasten your movements, sucking harder and sending pleasure through every single nerve on his body. You let out a moan, and he almost loses it with the vibration it provides.
“Want to- fuck- gonna come.” He mumbles, throwing his head back with eyes screwed shut.
You take your mouth off his size with a loud pop and warn “Don’t.” Before going back to your motions.
In order to obey, Bucky tries to think about random, non filthy things like dolphins or wood tables or apples. He’s definitely not thinking about what you’re doing, the warmth of your mouth around his dick, the delicious pain of your fingernails scratching the back of his thigh, the way your pretty lips are deliciously sucking-
“I can’t-” He whines, involuntarily yanking his hips up. But the only thing you do is mutter a short “yes, you can” and place the hand that was involving his base on his lower stomach, silently ordering him to stay still.
The room is filled with his shaky breaths as he gathers every ounce of willpower that’s left to hold back his release. He wants so badly to please you, to make you proud and earn those sweet praises he knows you’ll whisper to him once you’re satisfied with his success.
When Bucky’s leg starts to tremble violently and you know he won’t be able to contain himself anymore if you keep going, you let go of him completely, standing on your feet once again. But before he can complain about the orgasm denial, you shut him up with a chaste kiss. 
“I’m gonna fuck you now, okay, baby?” you whisper against his lips, and laugh seductively when he tries to lift his hands to your hips. You hold his wrists before he reaches you. “Didn’t say you could touch me yet.”
He whines, but that’s all he can do about it. Aware of his struggle to keep his hands away, you start to take your clothes off, piece by piece. And don’t get me wrong, Bucky enjoys seeing you all dressed up in your fancy clothes and expensive shoes, he really does, but he absolutely loves the sight of you without any of them. The soldier keeps looking at you in adoration while you make him lay down and straddle him, holding both his wrists above his head.
_
“But I wanna touch you.” Bucky protests as soon as he notices what you’re doing, but doesn’t make any motion to move his hands off your grasp, even though he could easily do that. Instead, he tries to win you over with his words. “Wanna put my fingers inside that pretty lil’ pussy of yours. Wanna taste you. Make you come on my metal hand and then on my face-”
“Nice try, Barnes.” you interrupt before you actually give in to his suggestions. “But tonight it’s my turn to take care of you. Gotta remind you that you’re mine,” you lower your lips to his ear “and that I love you very, very much.”
You don’t wait for a response before you buckle your hips down, feeling his rock hard length between your wet folds. Both of you moan with the contact.
���So you’re gonna keep your hands where they are until I say otherwise, okay?”
Bucky nods, giving up his efforts because he’s simply desperate to just be inside you as soon as possible. With the confirmation, you bring both of your hands to lay on his chest and position the tip of his cock in your entrance, teasing a bit just to watch his lips tremble with anticipation. Inch by inch, you push your hips down on him, taking deep breaths to control yourself and keep the slow pace. Bucky provides you with quite the sight, eyes squeezed shut and lips slightly parted, his face is covered in red, the veins from his forehead are clearly visible under the skin and his hair is matted in a sweaty mess while he takes shallow breaths, waiting for you to go all the way down.
The thought that you could turn a man like Bucky Barnes — always so headstrong and stoic, walking around with a scowl and giving people those sarcastic scoffs — into a panting mess beneath you makes pleasure travel from the pit of your stomach to your core. There is something very sensual about the fact that the super soldier could easily bend you down to fuck you senseless (like he’s done many times), but allows you to have all the power anyway. More than allowing you, he wants you to have it, craves to surrender entirely under your strings. This man, who’s so desperate for control all the time, trusts you enough to let you dominate him completely. This knowledge at the same time makes your heart ache with love and the lower part of your belly tremble with bliss.
“You look so good beneath me, baby. All blushy and wild.” You praise, and the only thing his mind can think of as a response is more moans. The sounds are like music to your ears. A loud, obscene melody.
Finally, you take all of him, and Bucky succumbs to the feeling of your soft walls wrapping around his length. Not able to restrain his wish anymore, he begins to vigorously yank his hips up, trying to bury as much of himself as possible inside of you. You lose yourself in the intense feeling as his cock rubs over and over against that delicious spot that makes you see stars, and that deliciously familiar sensation starts to prickle under your skin.
The knuckles on his right hand are white from gripping the sheets with so much strength when he mutters under his breath. “Let me- Please, let me touch you.”
Having him beg for you is nice, but how are you supposed to say no when his request is so tempting? You hold his wrists and bring them to your waist. Without losing a moment, he immediately squeezes your boobs, pinches your nipples and then moves to grip your hips like his life depends on it, helping you with your motions as they’ve already started to become erratic.
Finally feeling your skin on his hands, Bucky feels his cock throbbing inside your cunt, and he knows he’s not gonna last much longer. “Gonna come. Can I come?”
“Yes, baby. Let go for me. I’ve got you.” You dug your nails on his shoulder blades, that delicious pressure starts to build up in your lower belly upon watching your composed soldier arch his back with pleasure, mouth open wide in an ‘O’ shape. “You’re such a good boy, baby. So fucking good to me”
Soon, excruciating pleasure crashes through Bucky’s body, and he feels himself falling off the edge as he fills you up with the product of his orgasm, panting violently while calling your name. Arousal courses through your veins with the scene, and it doesn’t take much for you to reach your own peak, rolling your eyes and feeling your body burn from inside out as your walls clench around his cock. You keep the unstable movement of your hips, prolonging both of your orgasms until the two of you come down from the high.
Feeling a little dizzy from your post-orgasmic haze, you plop down on his shoulder to catch your breath, hearing the loud thumps of his rapidly beating heart. He places a sweet kiss on your temple and starts to stroke your hair. You two stay like this for some minutes, silently waiting for your pants to turn into steady breaths.
You need to hold back a whimper at the sudden emptiness when you get off of him to lay down by his side and look at his shiny blue orbs. You cup his sweaty face and stroke his cheekbone.
“You’re the only person in the world that can make me feel like this.” You whisper, and he understands what you mean.
He gives your thumb a light kiss and smiles softly. “I know. I’m sorry that I forgot it for a moment.”
“It’s okay, love. I’ll be pleased to remind you again and again, every single time you forget.” You grin and place a kiss to the top of his nose. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily."
And at this moment Bucky thinks that although he would never be perfect for you in society's eyes, he doesn’t care anymore. Yeah, he may not be the most admirable and put-together man that walks on this earth, but maybe what he is can be enough. Maybe the efforts he makes everyday with the sole intention of being a better man for you — even though not always successful — are enough. Maybe loving you with all his heart and trusting you unconditionally is enough. Perhaps one day the world will finally see him as something other than a monster and you will finally be able to tell the world that he is yours — like he knows you want to do —, but while it doesn't happen, he is satisfied to have only you thinking he’s worthy and good. Because, at the end of the day, you are the one that matters. You will always be the only one that matters.
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sergeantbarnessdoll · 7 months
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Sebby wants to have a dog after the interview with little puppies?
He is such a sweet one, so we need sweet puppies with Sebby, please.🫶🫶
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I love this one!🥰 that’s one of my favorite interviews Seb has done🩵 Sebastian Stan and puppies is the cutest thing ever🥹
Puppy Love » Sebastian Stan
Pairings: Sebastian Stan x Reader
Summary: Sebastian’s girlfriend (the reader) surprises Sebastian with a puppy after the puppy interview.
Warnings: Fluff, language, nothing but cuteness and sweetness, crying (happy tears), kissing, pet names (baby, babe)
Note: The name I chose for the puppy is Mickey. Yes, I was thinking of Sebastian’s character Mickey Henry from Monday, but I was also thinking of Mickey Mouse when I came up with it. Y’all can think of a different name if you’d like!
Written on my phone so sorry if there’s any mistakes or typos.
GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
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“Did you watch it?!” Sebastian asks with excitement in his voice.
“Yes I did and it’s the cutest video ever!” You smiled, kissing his stubbly cheek.
Sebastian just got home from filming a video with puppies. He’s been taking about puppies nonstop since he got home. You’ve never seen him this happy and excited, except for when he gets a role in a new movie.
“Puppies are so cute, soft, and cuddly!” He smiles.
“They are!” You agreed.
“I wish I had one! That would be so cool!” He says.
You smiled to yourself and got to thinking. Sebastian always surprises you and buys you things so why not surprise him for a change. Sebastian has a meeting today and that’s perfect for what you’re going to do. You’re going to surprise him with a puppy. Lucky for you, one of your guys’ neighbors had puppies!
“What’s got you all smiley today?” Sebastian asks as he got dressed.
“Nothing in particular. Just my handsome boyfriend.” You smiled.
“Well, in that case, my beautiful girlfriend makes me smile.” He says with a smile.
Sebastian walked to the bed and kissed you sweetly.
“You know, I could be late to that meeting.” He says, smirking against your lips.
“I don’t think so, Mr. Stan.” You giggled, playfully pushing him away.
“How the hell could you turn down a fun offer like that?” He asks with a small laugh.
“Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of it, but I have something important to do today.” You say, rubbing your hands up and down on his chest.
“I better be on your To Do list cause you’re on mine.” He says, kissing your lips again.
“Later! Now go!” You laughed, pushing him towards the door.
“Ok, ok! First, just let me…” He kisses and hugs you one more time.
“Seb!” You whined.
Sebastian grabs his things and pecks your lips one last time.
“I love you, baby!” Sebastian says, opening the door.
“I love you too, Sebby!” You say as he walked out of the door.
Once the door closed, you ran back to yours and his bedroom to get ready for the day. Then you went to the pet store to buy things a puppy might need. Like food, food and water dishes, a collar, toys, a bed, and other essentials puppies need. That’s when your favorite part of the day comes. Puppy time! You went to your neighbor’s house and luckily she had one puppy left.
“He’s so cute and tiny!” You say with a smile, holding a small white puppy.
“I’m sure Sebastian will love him.” Daniella, your neighbor, says.
“Oh he will! Well, I gotta get home before he does. Thank you so much, Daniella!” You smiled, giving her a quick hug.
“You’re welcome, Y/N! I hope he enjoys his surprise!” She says.
“Me too!” You say.
You left her house and walked back down the street to yours and Sebastian’s house. You had everything set up for the puppy. You just need to put the collar on him.
“Your new daddy should be home any minute!” You say.
Once you got the collar comfortably around the puppy’s neck, the door opened.
“Baby, I’m home! Where are you?” Sebastian’s voice rang through the house.
“Living room!” You shouted back.
You put the puppy on the floor and he ran up to Sebastian as soon as he walked into the living room. Sebastian’s eyes widened in shock and surprise.
“Y/N… where did this puppy come from?” He asks, looking down at the puppy.
“One of our neighbors. Isn’t he cute?” You asked.
“Yes, but what’s he doing here?” He asks, still looking at the puppy.
“He’s yours!” You smiled.
Sebastian looked at you and looked back at the puppy.
“Holy shit, are you serious?!” He asks, unable to control his excitement and emotions.
“Yes!” You say.
Sebastian picked up the tiny puppy and hugged him. The puppy gave Sebastian kisses all over his face. Tears of joy filled his eyes and rolled down his cheeks.
“Aww Sebby, don’t cry.” You say, wiping his tears away with your thumbs.
“I can’t help it. He’s so tiny and cute! This is the best present I’ve ever gotten!” He smiles.
Sebastian sat down on the couch with the puppy in his arms. You sat down next to them.
“What are you going to name him?” You asked, petting the puppy’s head.
“Umm…” Sebastian looks at the puppy for a moment. “Mickey.” He says.
“Like your character Mickey Henry from Monday?” You asked.
“Actually, I was thinking of Mickey Mouse.” He says with a smile.
“That’s adorable.” You smiled.
Sebastian leaned over and kissed you passionately.
“I love you so much, babe.” Sebastian says against your lips.
“I love you too, Sebby.” You say.
Mickey interrupted you guys with a squeaky bark making you two laugh and look down at him.
“Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about you, Mickey.” Sebastian says, giving him kisses.
You and Sebastian spent the rest of the day playing with Mickey. Sebastian took so many pictures of Mickey, sending them to everyone he knows. It’s safe to say that you and Mickey are Sebastian’s world.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
If y’all need me, I’m gonna rewatch the puppy interview with Sebastian Stan!🐶🩵
-Bucky’s Doll
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