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aromanticannibal · 1 year

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amateur art advice from an amateur artist.

disclaimer. this isn't for people who want to make art their jobs (some of the advice may be useful to you, but some will very much not be). keep that in mind.

1. it's okay if you're not good. seriously. what matters is that you're creating and having fun (and if you're not having fun, perhaps there's something wrong).

good is subjective. when I was 13 and I drew big pretty anime eyes for the first time, I was super happy! and for me, it looked good. and it still looks good for someone out there, just like how people tell you how good your art looks when you think it's mediocre. it's not. your art is good, because you made it. Its true quality does not matter until you need it to for work. You're still learning, be good to yourself.

2. you've heard the PRACTICE advice from everyone ever, so I'll go with something different : try new stuff.

for all the summer holidays of 2021, I didnt draw at all, only doodled silly cats because yknow. mental illness. when I drew again, I tried drawing a full body pose, which I never succeeded in doing before. and I did it! obviously it wasn't perfect, but it was the best ive ever done. and now im pretty okay with drawing poses!

so try new stuff. try to draw busts from another angle, try to draw profiles. draw noses, draw combat poses, draw folds and old people and fat people and black people because i know most of the starting artists start with one type of character and stick to it (for me, it was front facing busts of skinny white girls with straight hair and no nose).

this also counts for objects, and animals, try to draw them (and try to draw people if you've only ever drawn animals or objects)

and again, it does not matter if it doesn't look good at first. don't get discouraged. your favorite artists have something they struggle with, the most famous and respected artists have struggled with some things and probably still disliked some parts of their work at their peak.

3. look at people. try to draw who you see. if you don't get out much or are scared to draw people when they're with you, then draw from photographs you have, or references (im begging new artists to look at references of actual human people. I'm on my knees. references are important, study what you see).

study your own face! when you take selfies or when you put on makeup or even just when you see your reflection - if you can, look at your face, the shape of your eyes, your nose, your lips, your face. I rediscovered this year that I actually have freckles and realized I have more of them on one side than the other. I realized my face is actually pretty androgynous and I have a soft square jaw. look at people. look at yourself, look at everything around you.

4. learn and try the tips other artists give you. once someone said that to draw both eyes the same way, you had to draw them at the same time, step by step, instead of doing one then the other. and it works! for me at least. don't be afraid to try stuff. you don't even have to keep doing it if you don't like how it looks or doesn't fit with your style, that's fine! just try to do things for a while, and if in the end it doesn't work out, you at least know this is a thing that exists and you know it doesn't work for you. knowledge is useful.

5. STOP. BEING. SO. HARD. ON. YOURSELF.

no one cares there's 10 years old kids who can draw better than you. no one cares you're starting at 30 years old, or 40, 50, any age that isn't teenagehood. and if there's people who care, they should not. you should draw because you want to. if drawing isn't making you happy, then stop, or try something else. if you are able, take art classes! do whatever makes you happy and stop thinking what you're doing is cringe, or bad, or ugly. it does not matter. what matters is if you're having fun or not. how "cringe" or "basic" it is does not matter.

I hope you keep loving art and I hope you keep doing art because there are people who want to see it. even if you think it's mediocre, even if it really is, even if you're a beginner. I hope you never stop doing art because you think it's never going to amount to anything.

good luck doing art, and have fun!

#this has been in my drafts forever!#if you have more advice for amateur artists #do tell in tags reblogs or otherwise #artblr #artists on tumblr #art #drawing #traditional art #digital art #art tips #art advice #new artist #queer artist

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potofbees · 2 years

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Favorite Half-life Game(s)

Favorite Moment from the series

Favorite Side/Lesser Known Characters

Cool fact or headcanon you like?

Would you keep a vortigaunt as a roommate or have a pet headcrab? Both are friendly, btw!

i dont have a lot of coherent thoughts but these were fun to answer 👍👍 o7 THANK U for questions

1) ok fav game DEFINITELY halflife 2 itll probably always be my fav game all time. i am playing it as i write this its just one of those games that feels new and fun to play every time

i imagine once i finally get around to playing half:life alyx it will be my favorite just cause ive seen such good things about it and how its the best vr game of all time and how genuinely immersive it is and all these wonderful tiny details and the story and etc etc i need to play this game or im going to explode. watched the ending cutscene and it made me realize how mentally ill i am abt this series

2) oh god favorite moment i have so many but probably in hl2 barney's "fuck you" to dr breen that gets cut off so they can keep the games rating. always love devs skating around that 18+/mature rating

3) favorite side character(s), father grigori i have no specific reasons i just like him a lot, also not really a side character but judith mossman she gets such a bad rep i would treat her right. girl i would make a character analysis on u that is respectful of ur character development

FUNNY answer however. is specifically the fisherman from the later lost coast tech demo/cut level from hl2

this is peak character design. it cant get better than this sorry character designers uve been outmatched. he means so much to me

4) fav fact is a loaded question because i know an ungodly amount of information about the halflife games but ill say it has to be that the packs of houndeyes in the first game take naps. theyr sleepy

also fact specifically for U is that there were cut easter eggs for the would-be dreamcast port of the first game and this specific one i remember is that sometimes when u broke a supply crate a sonic adventure disc would be one of the items that fell out. never became official but theres videos of it its so funny

i also really like the headcanon that gordon uses ASL. im taking a class on it i really just think sign language should be taught more and should just generally be more common for accessibility reasons so i think its swag when people headcanon silent protags as using sign language

5) HARD question i love all the aliens in these games but id say vortigaunt cause i have like an embarrassing little detail that when i played the black mesa remake i got the pacifist achievement for interloper without knowing it existed because i didnt wanna kill any of the vortigaunts :( they were my buddies in the 2nd game i just could not hurt them. they would be such a great friend. plus i already have cats so i dont need another feral beast that latches onto me yknow

THANK u for questions btw this was fun i gotta send u more funny questions

#asks

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charlie-boyfriend · 1 year

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need to get back to honkai because i would kill myself for kiana kaslana and i miss her very badly and and and and she is Here apparently also kiamei yup need the kiamei reunion theyre too good .. . . Ive seen the cgs but i hvae no idea wat goes on anyway the whole hoyoussy (Sorry i cant think of a better phrasae) was put into kiana and kiana alone and theyll never write a character so fun and interesitng and cool and nice and amazing and aweosme than Her ever again not in honkai not in genshin not EVER u hear me she is the foreevr forever.Yay.Though i kinda want them to separate Again.Cos im mean.And i wan them to find other people bcs no appeal in first loves to my brain..(i guess i dont know when escape from nagazora was like: how old they were but im under the impression that they were Pretty Fuckign Young so no way theres any past lovers beforehand) But: I am happy htat theure together again i dont know how canon apho is (or obviously yes canon but is it the same bubble universe as the main story thats a lil unclear NOthing to indicate that it isnt i just. Well! I DONTK WNO!) i rmbr at first being mad at them being apart again (mostly cos kiana just Wasnt ANd Isnt Aroudn ANd shes my fave so bleergh) (plus adam is the shittest protagonist ever HOW did they go from THE miss kiana to THAT. I dont hate him like on a personal level hes Alright his design is Alright but he is so BORING sorrryyyyy I love lyle n timido though they kept me going..) ANYWAY point being: when apho 3 (abt kiana apparently) happens . if kiamei stays separate I dont rly mind I think it would be great, actually, better for their arcs and all ...Hm. I need to play the new chapters anyway cos i never diD apparently sentis there im obsessed w sentis design see if hoyo will never have a character writing moment like kiana then theyll never have a peak character kit slash playstyle moment that is SENTI most fun shit ever gawd Someday ill go back to the game n get her someday someday

#hi3 #i see the fuki and elymei agenda all aronud me also and hmm ok.elymei interests me more personally cos well its very doomed #fukis kinda. theyre nice friends i like them i RESPETCT them i love hua so bad also she is the handsomest girl ever...#theyre nice! but it lacks the Horribleness its too sweet for me.maybe

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angelmyspace · 6 months

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soo its been a while...

hey guys.

firstly i would like to apologize for leaving without saying much! a lot happened that ill get into later but im ok! well as ok as everyone else on this website （　´∀｀）(do people still use those idk...) it was wrong of me to leave yall for so long without a little explaination but i just couldnt find one to give. i would like to thank you all for the kind words and the continued checking up on me even long after i stopped responding. you all were always so kind to me.

ok ig to the reason i left. my mom tried to kill herself. it was my dads birthday and coming up to their wedding anniversary and ig it just got too much for her. ive spent the last year and a half helping her back on her feet. i got a job to help pay for things and we have moved into a smaller house closer to school. for a while when she was in the hospital i stayed with ##### shes really nice and her family had a spare room from when her sister went to uni! it was so nice to stay in their house! they treated me like the world wasnt falling apart without ignore that it totally was! they understand things in a way i dont think ill ever. they are also so kind to my mom and every week we have dinner together! im glad my mom is doing better but ill also always look back at that time in their house with joy. ##### said she loved living with me and it was like a "peak into our future" (we're going to go to the same university! and get the same jobs! and get married together! and everything! we made a vow!). i want to be with her forever. my mom back on her feet she goes to therapy once a week and says shes never do anything like that to me again. i love her so much. i dont want her to ever die. if i could create one thing as a scientist itd be to make mothers everywhere immortal!! and happy!! we're all doing much better! im so excited for the future!

for things on here i did see taylor live and she was AMAZTASTIC i got sooo many photos ill post them all in a seperate post!! ill get back to doing my dairy/blog thing weekly but the oc story thing i have is probably dead now... sorry i just dont have any ideas or motivation for them anymore but that doesnt mean im dont creating!! i have soo many more ocs i want to introduce to you! as well as so many fandoms i want to get into and so many old fandoms i want to catch up with (ive been watching supernatural what did we all think of that final 👀)! ive missed you all soooo much!! im excited to be back and to hear about everything i missed out on!

sorry for the messy post ig tumblr is not like riding a bike haha!

#05/06/2016 #is that how i tagged the date?#i dont remeber lol

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scentedchildnacho · 7 months

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She asked if I was going to do anything special today so I said no Barak Obama isn't president anymore and I have found out if the government is also fair it can only genocide the God of centuries.....Barak Obama was like a genius people who know to better pride and respect people like my grandmother's for calendar adherence knew to see about people their essential hypocrisy they care about veterans but are always a superior counter culture to the majority ......

Barak Obama knew to really kill dead Osama bin laden for scary creepy hidden minority religions that parasite on the majority.....

If it's calendar now never ever celebrate a holiday or ever be evangelical or helter skelters will try to kill you....you have to have a radical time frame get into gen x and folk theory or it's a people and they genocide people's as to blame for everything....

Fair governments about the Vatican .....the allies were a little more thoughtful then Hitler and stopped killing but the genocide there did have to have very famous private agents that actually relieved their condition....

Kamela is a heel ass....she travels around dressed like a bitch and you have to be stewarded by her party or there isn't anything she is a bitch

Ive looked into second wave feminism and woman is inherently underclassed....those jobs I wouldn't say are designed for men but they don't dress as decently as men on the job and that is the job requirements ...

Kamela as current woman's history is a bitch compared to negro resistance many women who serve as police do observe uniform conduct

She asked me my path and I told her todd Gloria is a very suspicious worse then eve ill man in some way....that's the exact wrong peak urban imperative here it keeps encouraging Sandled Indians to bdsm at....and people here need a lot of the population assessed for immediate evacuation to a rural location and correct start up

This is completely wrong for the United States coasts are not metropolises this type of repulsive piled on each other building after building is the worst stuff ever and they went and stole a lot of people off a pacific island or rural location somewhere and did threaten people with a nuke ...

Simm theory is no longer relevant George simmel suggests a criminal typology that Greek story kills....these situations are doomsdays there was way too many people here and it's ultimate objective was to nuclear bomb us all here ....

Many are natives most likely and they only wear their hair that blond because it's rude to go to white areas acting like a creepy foreigner a white cannot comprehend

They weren't letting a nativeism leave white yet to start up somewhere rural....and whites are not in their tourist fantasies yet this is all very kill baby

I've never more wanted wrecking balls to start hitting out properties to force green space between housing so it is like a 5000 dollar place to rent....

These peoples are so mcworld tribal insane I only desire population control....

There is like a lot of unused trailers south of LA and no one was evacuated out of mass rape...this did just mass rape these peoples....

Anthony King and satellite data and their natives they don't have any God of centuries they aren't some 10000 year history they can accurately pin point a sustainable start up now what won't let their people go...ask Moses....

Todd Gloria has a wicked case of borderline personality disorder he is Puerto and native then roots to Irish that doesn't make any sense people who are something are it ..I may be will become Irish Catholic and Hispanic instead of just white but how is someone 6 different things

One day I will not be white with Catholic aid to genocide one day I will maybe be a Catholic

Todd Gloria is like everything mass murderer criminal not just kind of Greek story no

She asked me if I was waiting for my friend so I said no doomsday theory is more relevant then simm theory there is no friend and crime of passion this is a genocide all they do is shock and kill here my big sister with the government comes like my not naive African and native sister arrives and finally beats up the creepy stagflation jobs or those are helter skelters just annoyed they couldn't rip me yet ...

One day I will be more Buenos Aires instead of scary over crowded Chicago one day I will be more Hispanic and live in peace

At the time I told her why is the government never around or doing anything for people why is it all a creepy.....absence that shows it's around by severe deprivations and constant wealth lending to itself but never shows up cares or actually completes triage

Jobs are not just stagflations that's naive in marginalized people's time of need they were fucker bitches that held blood drives....those jobs if truly repentant will go through the ultimate criminal process and almost die of complete starvation in schools....no it won't just be hiring and completing the pornography

The jobs in California are truly Buddhists and will not like Aaron Hernandez just go kill themselves instead of paying it back for their crimes some of it truly will go through the complete criminal process for what they did to us as homeless people that was very very very disgusting reprehensible conduct

I asked her if she knew what happened to that couple that never stops sitting behind the security station by the portas what is going on there....

She wanted to know why I was interested so I told her when I first arrived and didn't know what to do everything kept shocking me with no obligation go die of a shit beach their the ass tans

So I go to that couple and try to ask them how people survive here with a rodent infestation as virulent as jobs....and they also beat and shocked me with some dumb bitch restrains their kids to the bed at home saying

Jobs as Them have become so speciated I can't care if it's conduct was just being a juvenile creep and will end up in a mass grave for not being anyone to anyone

And she told me if all they do is help to gang shock you they have been around a very long time and that's what's primarily important they have been around too long and don't voluntarily leave though they have become gang shock new people freaks that don't know how it goes here

I only wait around because there wasn't yet an executive order to tank the place and an army vehicle to be taken to a FEMA place yet....but make no mistake it's only going to get much worse...that's all they do is shock people....

This really creepy mid east gang in Brunswick Georgia that tried to kill me on a death row for crimes they committed if native typology didn't show up to beat them up for it .....they told me they stole my identity and I have to be whatever they tell me I am....Sonya beautiful blond....if it isn't an obscure folk community they kill it

I am little sister white and the compromise thing was too off the wall and so big sister finally beat that creepy white managerial team off me

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daedalusdavinci · 2 years

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hey. do the gotham squad kids for the character ask meme

adslkfjnsdlkfsndfsf ; ; ok three in one post im gonna put this under the cut to spare my dash

send me a character and ill tell you...

Jason

What made me like them in the first place

you try reading his robin comics and not falling absolutely in love with him. hes just like... he was so genuine and caring and saw the magic in everything, but he also had such a strong sense of justice and maybe it didnt align perfectly with batmans but i LOVED it, i loved his anger because it came from such a place of compassion!! i feel like thats a fraught thing to say but id never seen any of the stuff online or anything, and i just loved him bc he could be kind of a shit but he was just such a cute kid. he was a KID kids are supposed to be shits. and then he came back as red hood and i was like YEAHHHH BOYYYYY and ive never been the same since

Who I ship them with

i think jason is aro but if hes not going to be i say roy bc. i mean. what was all that fr

Random headcanon I have about them

im a desperate believer in commie crimeboss jason who uses the enemies tactics to get inside and get people out again, supporting people safely until they dont have to rely on crime anymore and can find their feet

My favorite moment of theirs

theres so many. i love that comic where batman tells him to distract someone and he pelts them w snowballs its such peak little shit baby jay. i love his comic w two face and the "its too much". i love his appearance in outsiders its so small but i feel like it has such potential. WHEN HE TURNS DOWN RED ROBIN IN COUNTDOWN,, when he fights all the batkids in tfz fr and then his little moment w steph right after,, crying sobbing i love him i love everything abt him

Plotline/story I want to happen

bring back crimeboss jason im not asking. also. fucking. make him a team of actual antiheroes ffs wasted potential

Any issues or insecurities I think they have

i think jason has heavily internalized the bats constant messaging of "you were always going to end up this way you were always a bad egg" and has made his home in this mentality of "im not good and no one wants me here so ill make myself impossible to get rid of and thatll have to be okay" and he really just. he treats himself like a weapon instead of a person because he thinks itll make it hurt less

Favorite quote

i can post quotes from him all day long and i have claimed many as favorites but the truth is that i love everything he says. anyway heres one i like from ep 44 of wayne family adventures

Kiss, marry, hug, or kill

hug i love him

Random thing that reminds me of them

my old emo phase playlist

Any talents I think they might have

i think hes very good at a lot of things but also first aid

On a rate from 1 to 10 how much I love them

10 billion he is my favorite of all time

What I think about their family

i could make an entire post about jasons family. i love them. but specifically in relation to jason its a lot of delusional wishing and a lot of oof. i dont think jason and bruce repairing their relationship completely is realistic w the way comics are now, but i think he still places a lot of trust in dick, maybe more than dick deserves, just bc dick really was his hero growing up and he cares about him so much. i love jason and damian being brothers thru talia. but also, realistically, i think jason probably has the best relationship w duke rn bc duke didnt get all the failed robin stories that the others did nor was he around for jasons death so its like a clean slate type of deal. in general, though, i wish his relationship w everyone was better and i wish there was more elaboration on all of it

Who I think should be their bff

i think its a crime that dc never revisited his relationship w eddie, but also, theres definitely something to be said for the potential of him partnering up w rose. i like his and roys nonsense but it really doesnt make any sense. i also wish dc didnt ignore countdown (even tho i understand why they do) and gave him some kind of relationship w donna and kyle. i have complicated feelings abt this bc functionally jason has no friends outside of some extremely nonsense stuff post reboot

What animal they would be

sorry but im not team catboy jason at all the boy is a dog person. that said, wolf, bc he thinks hes a lone wolf even tho thats not how wolves work at all and hes frequently characterized as a feral angry monster when hes much more complicated than that but also sometimes people think hes a harmless puppy when the boy has very much killed people

Three songs that remind me of them

ive made jokes about me against the world before as well as kryptonite (art in links :') )

but i think better and what you make it by with confidence are pretty good. wish i had examples of metal songs but i just dont rlly listen to metal ever

Favorite episode/issue/thing centered around them

TASK FORCE Z!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its SO GOOD TT^TT i dont want it to end

How badly they need hugs

so badly. so badly. he has so many problems.

Favorite thing about their personality

his determination and the way he just keeps pushing forward even though everything seems to be telling him to just lay down and die all the time

Favorite thing about their appearance

youll pry those precious little curls out of my cold dead hands you know what im talking about

Why I love them so much

i feel like this whole post has been about why i love him so much. it sjust a statistical fact that i have a thing for characters who have died honestly so this was fully inevitable

Steph

What made me like them in the first place

i honestly cant remember but reading through her comics i just love her fucking wit. shes genuinely hilarious and shes also like!!! her independence and determination?? and the way she just constantly defies peoples expectations of her and keeps pushing i just. ugh. its hard not to love her she deserves so much better

Who I ship them with

i havent read all of stephs comics yet or anything, buuuut ngl her and kara are adorable ; ; and ofc cass is a classic

Random headcanon I have about them

i have Opinions about steph being the third robin instead of tim. many of them. also, she fucking deserves it

My favorite moment of theirs

from batgirl (2009) #4. cryign sobbing losing my mind i love her so much. i feel like you know a supers rlly made it when a kid looks up to them and it is never not fucking heartbreaking

Plotline/story I want to happen

give me robin steph or give me death. i dont know how. but i will change tides to give her the time she RIGHTFULLY FUCKING DESERVED. ohhhh im so mad about what they did to her im always mad about what they did to her

i also think she deserves significantly more bonding time w the batfamily than she gets. maybe i havent read enough comics yet (im still working through them, and i desperately hope that its just that), but it seems like she only rlly spends time w damian, cass, babs, and tim in any memorable capacity, and thats unacceptable to me. gotham squad when. not to have brainrot on main but her and jason have so many similarities in their background and treatment at batmans hands and stuff i just think they should fucking bond

Any issues or insecurities I think they have

steph is CONSTANTLY, CONSISTENTLY told that she isnt good enough, by the people she admires and loves the most. she tries so fucking hard to be good, to be perfect, and people still find fault in the smallest damn things. its devastating. i dont imagine she has a lot of self worth

Favorite quote

steph has endless great quoteable moments. her quips are fucking hysterical. but HONESTLY. honestly. my absolute favorite steph panel in the world? this one right here, from the secret origins 80 page grant

Kiss, marry, hug, or kill

hug i love her so much

Random thing that reminds me of them

can i say jason? lol

Any talents I think they might have

i think steph has a lot of random surprising talents. i think itd be fun if she did some random niche crafting thing, like pottery

On a rate from 1 to 10 how much I love them

gonna say a tentative 8 bc im still reading her comics but i adore her shes vastly underrated

What I think about their family

her dynamic w her mom is genuinely so interesting. her mom starts off extremely neglectful, but its still clear that she cares, and that she is trying, in her own way. and she gets better, and shes there for steph in some moments where it really fucking counts. i really like their moments

Who I think should be their bff

kara and cass

What animal they would be

im not really sure tbh

Three songs that remind me of them

lol skip associating characters w songs is a rare thing for me

Favorite episode/issue/thing centered around them

theres,,, not a lot of substantial stuff about her, honestly. she exists as a side character for a long time. but im rlly enjoying batgirl so far!!

How badly they need hugs

soooo bad and she deserves it she deserves someone who will tell her that shes good enough and that she matters

Favorite thing about their personality

shes so unwaveringly kind, even when people are so fucking cruel to her all the time. its astounding.

Favorite thing about their appearance

i love the spoiler mask it is so creature

Why I love them so much

again i feel like ive jsut been tlaking about this the whole time. its hard to put into words concisely why i love her but reading her comics its hard not to feel for her, to root for her, to feel angry at the sheer amount of injustice she faces. shes just so,,,

Duke

What made me like them in the first place

i feel like when it really clicked into place like oh. im obsessed with him. was like. duke, to me, is symbolic of the future. hes a step away from everything that batmans been and towards claiming hope for the city, firmly his own person and not dependent on batman in the way everyone before him has been. and its just. GOD. we love a man who believes in community organizing his comics make gotham feel like a home in a way a lot of them dont, really underlining his connection to the people who live there and what happens to them in a way i feel like bruce himself has grown distant from

Who I ship them with

n/a he needs to int w more people dc give him more fucking comics challenge or ill bite you

Random headcanon I have about them

you know how i love a good meta with powers tied to their emotions

My favorite moment of theirs

his ints w batman like this make me cry every goddamn time. from all star batman

batman secret files: the signal #1

Plotline/story I want to happen

GOTHAM SQUAD TEAMUP FUCKING WHEN!!!!!!!!!!! STOP BEING A COWARD DC GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT

also i want more stuff about duke learning to control his powers. and i want him to team up with other supers outsiders was great now give me more and people his own fucking age

Any issues or insecurities I think they have

he has batman daddy issues, the way they all do, and is constantly worried about disappointing him. obviously has trauma out the ass. but idk again he needs more comics. i also need to catch up on his comics probably its been a hot minute ive been distracted with other people

Favorite quote

this one from all star batman #3 is pretty fucking good, but he has a lot of good content really

Kiss, marry, hug, or kill

hug

Random thing that reminds me of them

arkham jasons helmet and dukes helmet look similar to me. catboys who r actually dogboys

Any talents I think they might have

i think he should work lighting in theater tech bc itd be funny

On a rate from 1 to 10 how much I love them

solid 8 i would love him even more if he had 50 years worth of content but alas

What I think about their family

its one of those things that i wish dc would elaborate on bc you know they could just. drive the angst in so hard dc stop holding back. give it to us. let us write the angst fics come on stop being lame

but w the batfamily i think hes in a weird space where he doesnt want to give up on his birth family and is trying to find the balance between holding them in his heart and learning how to lean into his new siblings and learning how to have them both

Who I think should be their bff

cass but i think dc should spend more time on his friend group (which it hink. theyre doing rn and im just behind on comics) and give him more super friends

What animal they would be

dog not elaborating ive been doing this meme for too long

Three songs that remind me of them

you are my sunshine n/a

Favorite episode/issue/thing centered around them

all star batman had a lot of rlly fun duke moments honestly but batman and the signal and new talent showcase were also (kisses fingers)

How badly they need hugs

he does need one but i think more than that everyone around him is just compelled to hug him bc hes just soooo baby

Favorite thing about their personality

hes so optimistic and vaguely fucking insane which is such a fun combo when paired against batman. he seems approachable in a way that a lot of the batfam isnt, too, and i appreciate that about him. hes their little ray of sunshine fr

Favorite thing about their appearance

love his stupid little helmet ears so much theyre so dumb they dont look anything like the bat ears and everything like little cat ears

Why I love them so much

again. see all of the above. ultimately i love duke for what i think he brings to batman comics and the potential for a new direction hes a vastly underrated (and underwritten) character no more tim comics only duke comics now

#asks #ty for the ask!!#the gotham robins r honestly probably the ones ive read the most comics for at this point sldjknfsldf #so i have. a decent amnt of opinions abt them

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empoetic · 2 years

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im wishing i could fly away x2

spend my time on another day

get myself to some other place

i wish i could fly away

Fly awayx2

But first I gotta get a few nice things before

I need a sweet senorà, with a weed aroma,

and a superficial need to feel important

Just another thing to keep so deep in

storage,

Speaking mi amora to all of her amigas

you can see it clearly i dont need a feature

im still telling every beautiful girl that i cant sleep alone

once again im chasing validation from these fucking whores

its like i got something wrapped around my throat must be why feeling choked seconds away from getting smoked

Yo my life fucking blows and it's always so cold between the wind and the snow

I been feeling low

at the end of my rope

Hangin a couple feet from the floor

Theres no place like home

said Theres no place like home

and theres no way Im going home

ive got too much coke and my flows so woah when I'm off that blow so Potent it makes you wonder where the fuck your life is even going

its always so cold where I'm living

somehow the whiskey keeps me simmered

wishing I could go back to simpler times

fish in the river

swigginn moonshine by the waterline in the firelight after midnight

ive got it all memorized

the look in her eyes before she'd put her lips on mine

I used to tell her all the time

She left me so hypnotized

No other lover she gives me all my rhymes

So I mumble another jumbled stutter As I stumble through the crumbling rubble and troubles and puddles of my life I realize I've rumbled and pummeled so much I've fumbled with the number,

as I examine this planet I come to the understanding that we've got no need to be panicked

She was my sunshine

The dawn beyond the horizon

i feel her on my skin,

she's Warming up my mind

It's too easy to give in so she wins

i've gotta learn that when she shines

To just let her shine

and If could I woulda left my shoulda beens back where i'm from

but tonight I'm lonely without a woman that wants to ride shotgun,

so i end up sitting in my backyard,

sippin liquor staring at the stars missing when I had a copilot that could navigate this path im on

She told me once we'd get through this together

I lost her love bro I won't lose it again

She told me i could never do any better

so i'll never let her move on again

but lately shes been the reason for my recent depression

Wondering who's bed shes been in this weekend

Tryna decode all the mixed signals she's sending

n if I had'nt seen the messages I woulda believed her when she said this shit was all in my head

but I know better cause Whenever we're together she's always busy Texting her friends

and with all the shit that they talk you'd think cats use my name as a litter box man

and im just tryna feel the love but shes all i got to work with

i just tell myself all this has got to be worth it

how can life feel so perfect when we're singing

and its always so goddamn cold where I'm living

somehow the whiskey keeps me simmered

wishing I could go back to the simpler times

when there were still fish in the river

and we'd sit riverside on the waterline by the firelight swigging moonshine in the moonlight after midnight

ill never forget the look in her eyes before she'd put her lips on mine

I used to tell her all the time

She left me so hypnotized

off upon another journey im learning that whats hurts the most in life is often the other person

together we wonder to ourselves if its worth

i find all this searching and lurking to be rather concerning

im working towards my goal of reaching my peak performance

fake friends wanna act like their family but they would never shed blood

always behind you in life waiting for the moment they can get some

i wonder if they pace just to waste away the days wondering to themselves when they can take your place i gotta say its a pointless game they play they could never bear my shame or the essense of my name

its not a rap game i been doing it for the life insurance

so no i dont spin tracks i only brought this butane lighter fluid so i can burn buds with some beauties at the bush party tryna stay sober enough to fuck before we head back to buddies shop so we can more shit faced before the sun comes back up and once it does some of us will head to bed while the others head downstairs bump some deadly dingers in the basement lets face it tonights just another night so we might as well just waste it

(but im not gonna lie i dont even know what day it is)

patience young padawon; we're waiting for the next paycheque

so dont mention cocaine unless i can i hit the atm quick

and i always practice safe sex

cause i tell her she dont need no motherfucking make up

but she better not expect me to be her salvation im just saying

your breaths getting wasted if youre the one chasing the conversation

how can you escape yourself when youre stuck in the same places

i can see it driving you insane and ive gotta enough pain so i hope you understand

ill be up on stage telling everyone else about how it felt when i decided that i should do better for myself

bruh i wont even lie im only doing this for the wealth cause my moms got no fucking food on the shelf

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yakocchi · 3 years

Photo

Tonight, Love Me Kindly and Cruelly (Collection Event) // Count

t/n: The idiom is literally “Candy and Whip”, which is equivalent to the use of “Carrots and Sticks”. “Carrots and Sticks”, as in the idiom that people use to describe when one uses both the promise of a benefit and a punishment to manipulate someone to do something. random ex: a person says that if you let them stay at your house for a while, they’ll buy you a new phone... but if you reject them, they say they’re going to set your car on fire. well carrots and sticks don’t make for a pretty mental image so I changed it. lol

In common ikevam fashion, this is a collection event to coincide with the release of Faust’s Main Route. imo the route is doing a better job at showing his chara positively than Will’s route, but..... faust was never my type to begin with so u know LOL but im only on like chapter 12-ish anyway so yea nothing really significant has happened

anyway, i am pleasantly surprised that the Count got to partake in this one!! it might seem like a really long time since the last Count appearance under the context of this blog, but that’s only really bc ive sat out on covering Count-involved events (namely the AU scenario event w/ a shared route with Leo and the “caring for a child” collection event). i don’t think they’re super bad or anything (i actually like the latter for treading newer ground on event topics for once)…. im just chillin. ive never been a very active blog regardless

Spoilers under the cut!! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*)

…

[Kara]: “ah-… Mn-…” In one of the rooms of the party venue— the air was stained obscenely by the breathless sighs of me and Count. With my arms pinned against the rippled sheets, my head grew lightheaded as he roughly kissed me over and over again. [Kara]: “nh- Why are…”

(Why has the Count become like this, I wonder? Until a little while ago, he was sweet and gentlemanly.)

Bewildered, I stared back at his golden irises, and a smile faintly seeped through his lips…

[Count]: “When I thought about you possibly being touched by those fingers, my blood ran cold. You do not mean to say that you do not understand my own feelings, I presume?” (‘Those fingers’…?)

…

I recalled something that had happened a few moments ago at the high society party we had been attending. I was conversing with one of the Count’s acquaintances when it happened:

[Gentleman]: “Oh, My Lady— Your exquisite ornament has shifted out of place, you know.” (Huh…?) Before I could fix it myself, the gentleman reached out his hand—

[Count]: “Indeed.” The Count, who had been standing next to me, hugged my shoulder with his arm as if to move me away from that hand. Then— [Count]: “How about this? Mhm, yes… Beautiful.” [Kara]: “Thank you, Count.” Of course, I also gave my thanks to the one who initially noticed it, but…

…

(Does he mean that time?) [Count]: “By the look on your face, it seems that you have finally realized it.” [Kara]: “Ah-…” Something resembling both sensuality and sharpness flashed within his eyes, and he firmly ripped the hair ornament off with a single swipe.

[Count]: “Well, then. I shall retrain this body— that the only thing that may touch you, are my fingers.” His fingertips trailed down my lips, my neck, my collarbones… before pulling down my dress, the fabric sliding off my breasts. Then, those very fingers touched the reddened peaks…

[Kara]: “-ngh, hah…. nh, ah-“ [Count]: “Do you make this same adorable reaction no matter who pinches you?” He pinched more forcefully, and my body leapt with a shudder. [Kara]: “ah-…! N-No, not, at all… Abel, please…” [Count]: “Really? I still have my doubts, given that your body so easily makes these dirty reactions...” While he played with my breasts, the fingertips of his other hand then slid inside the soaked part of me with a wet sound. [Kara]: “ahn… ngh, haah…”

[Count]: “I shall thoroughly train you, that the only thing that can bring you to ecstasy are these fingers. …And train you, all night.”

And just as he had proclaimed, indecent cries continued to fall from my lips throughout the night.

FIN

me thinking abt how this could’ve been the start to a veri sexi epilogue of a scenario event. next time, next time!!

this was kind of interesting bc the event actually places this one above leo’s (leo is the story before, which puts him at “4th place” out of 7 if we call arthur “1st”). this is weird bc even tho occasionally they’ll mess with story order not coinciding with character popularity if they feel that the story in question is more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), but putting leo’s story that early is rly weird. leo’s story being given before even mozart is like…. wow someone’s not too proud of that story LOL ill be honest tho…. the leo story is pretty basic, past stories in the leo sexi man canon considered. well i get it – leo is not the type to take out his negative emotions onto others, which is more or less related to the theme of this event.

this collection event is only a week long, so im wondering if they have anything interesting lined up. man i hope so…… clearly they kno ppl who like the count exist bc they bothered to move his story up. but where’s the respect!! (jk… partly)

“You really do get a lovely look on your face when you’re with the other manse residents. …I am, just a touch, jealous. Tonight, let me have you all to myself.”

“(…) …I want you to like me very, very much, so I work hard to achieve that. Though it may appear otherwise, I’m desperate (to have such).” – Artbook-based Gacha Card

as always, thanks for reading!

#ikemen vampire #comte de saint germain #spoilers #ikevam #lol why does this site still have vocabulary f*lters how else am i supposed to write it

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peachiikawa · 3 years

Text

Caged Bird | Prince!Oikawa Tooru x Reader

a/n: if you know anything about fairytales then you might realize that the reader has the flute of the pied piper, though modified for the story. been watching a lot of once upon a time and got the idea from the neverland arc. hope you enjoy!

word count: 1.9k

genre: fantasy, romance

trigger warnings: reader gets hurt a bit but nothing graphic

summary: oikawa has always lived a lonesome life in the cage that is his castle. one day he sneaks out and a beautiful melody leads him to you, a traveling musician. oikawa is about to find out that his luck is going to change for the better.

oikawa gazed out over the town from his balcony

he let out a long sigh as he grew bored from his studies

“why the long face trashykawa?”

his bestfriend and knight walked up next to him and leaned against the railing

“oh you know, just bored of being in this castle. theres a whole town of people out there and im stuck in here. gets tiring after a while”

iwaizumi listened to his friend and nodded along to what he was saying

“then sneak out for a day”

oikawas eyes widened

“youd help me sneak out?”

“only if you come back by sundown”

so oikawa grabbed his cloak and thanks to iwas help got out of the castle

despite being born and raised in this town oikawa had no idea where he was

and after about ten minutes he was completely and utterly lost

until he heard the faint sound of a flute

he followed the sound until he ended up in the mostly cleared out town square where he saw you playing a small wooden flute for those who were present, though you had no audience

everyone walked past you as if you were invisible like you werent playing such a beautiful song

he approached you slowly and listened until you finished your performance

“that was really good”

you looked up at him and smiled

“always a pleasure to play for those who need it”

the bright smile on your face felt warm and inviting

like he was meant to be here

“would you like to take a seat next to me?”

you gestured to the spot next to you and he gladly took it

“so...whats your story”

hes hesitant to answer your question

“ill tell you mine if you tell me yours”

you set your flute down in your bag next to you

“well first of all my names y/n and my life is nothing too interesting. im a traveling performer and play my flute as a way to pass time and help those who need it. always come across the most interesting people this way”

traveling. thats something oikawa could only dream of

“so cmon now tell me about you”

he peaked at you through his hood

“ok but dont make a big commotion..im oikawa tooru”

you laughed a bit

“thats funny you share the same name as the prince”

you stopped laughing when you saw the serious look in his eyes

“oh..oh! im so sorry for being so rude!”

you started to scramble around when he grabbed your wrists to stop your movements

“shh yes im the prince but stop flailing people are starting to look”

once you had calmed down he went on

“ive been confined to my castle my whole life and stuck to certain rules i have to follow. it seems like even if i catch a break something else comes along. i have to stay this perfect image because im the prince and it just gets so lonely. its as if im a bird trapped in a cage and theres no way out”

ah so there it is

the reason he could hear your flute

you picked a flower that was growing next to you and placed it in his hair as you spoke

“im sorry your lifes been like that but oikawa, if i may be so bold, even a caged bird will become wise enough to break free. the dream of flying is too great to resist”

Once you had properly placed the flower you smiled at him before standing up from your spot and grabbing your bag

you then held your hand out to him

but he couldnt gather his thoughts

you were so bright it was almost blinding

“now cmon! lets go have some fun!”

he looked at the hand held out to him

and with a leap of faith, he took it

he was going to get out of this cage, this perpetual cycle

and finally add some meaning to his life

day after day you two spent your time together

oikawas days that were once filled with hollow words and empty actions were now filled with happiness

filled with you

and everyday slowly but surely he was falling for you

passing glances turned into prolonged gazes

his heart could no longer stay still around you

you became the key to his happiness

but for now...he had to be content with just being next to you

it would be too selfish otherwise

to ask you to stay with him here in the kingdom...he could never trap you like that

“so what are we doing today y/n?”

you were strolling through the town on a quiet sunday afternoon like you had the last few sundays

“how about we go to the bakery? theyre usually busy but since its sunday i bet its not as packed and then i want to take you somewhere”

he was curious as to what you had in store but decided against asking questions

so you two got some baked goods and headed out towards the woods

“cmon we’re almost there”

you pushed some branches and shrubs out of the way

and one eventually hit him in the face

“watch it y/n! i keep getting wacked by you”

you just chuckled a bit which oikawa had found adorable in itself

it made his heart slow just hearing it

“just come on!”

eventually you two made it to a clearing over a beautiful lake

he didnt know that there was something like this so close by

he was absolutely amazed by it

“take a seat oikawa! we can rest and eat here!”

this moment was just too perfect to him

with you here he felt as if nothing bad could happen

that if he only could see your smile everything would be alright

being content with just being at your side...was no longer and option

he knew that if he wanted this he needed to take his chance

“y/n”

your eyes were full of life and he couldnt help but feel so happy next to you

and before he knew it he was closing the gap between the two of you with a hand gently cradling your cheek

but right before you two could kiss you were ripped away from him

“dont you dare touch the prince commoner!”

oikawa frantically looked around as many of his guards came out of the brush

“get your hands off of them!”

you were pressed to the ground and the sight almost broke his heart

“sorry your highness but we’re under strict orders to bring you back and throw whoever was seducing you to leave the castle into the dungeon”

the guard that had been on you lifted you up like you were a sack and bound you by rope

you gave oikawa a final smile before you were taken away even though you were so banged up that it made him want to puke

he was speechless

this is what he was talking about

being so controlled and monitored made him feel so small and helpless

and he absolutely abhorred it

“your highness your mother is waiting for you in the throne room”

oikawa was beyond upset

this isnt how he wants to live

“mother how could you throw the only good thing in my life away!”

his mother sneered at his words

“only good thing? what need to you have for that filthy peasant! and how dare you cast me aside as if i hadnt given you everything you own, everything you are is because of me! i will not allow for any of this nonsense! now go wash up. and dont you dare ever leave the castle again and i forbid you from seeing that nasty peasant again. wasting your time with such a person...”

he gritted his teeth and was about turn to leave

his emotions were running too high

he wasnt himself and he knew it

but even so...he wont allow it to end like this

he was going to end it on his terms

“no”

“what did you say?”

he stood his ground

“i said no mother. im going to live the way i want and with who i want. ill gladly give up my title because frankly, i never wanted it in the first place. and dont you ever call y/n filthy or nasty again. their so incredibly kind and full of joy and laughter. i can only hope to be like that one day. so ive decided that im leaving. with y/n.”

as soon as the doors shut behind him he let out the breath he didnt even know he was holding

but it also felt as if there was a giant weight off of him now

“im coming y/n dont you worry”

it had been a couple hours since you were brought to your cell

you didnt have any major injuries, just a few cuts and scratches from when you were body slammed to the ground

“do you mind if i play?”

you pulled out your flute and the guard nodded

“thank you!”

you started playing and filled the cell you were in with a relaxing tune

“why do you play if it doesnt make noise?”

you stopped and looked at the spiky haired man who stood outside your cell

“it takes a certain person to appreciate its music”

he just looked at you as if you were crazy

but you continued anyways

until you heard frantic running coming from down the hall

“iwa you gotta let them out”

oikawa was panting trying to catch his breath

“dude no offense but your mom would kill me and you if i just let them out”

oikawa grabbed the key from iwaizumis waist before he even realized what had happened

“dont worry about it iwa. and dont worry about me. today i start my new life. it was good knowing you buddy”

they gripped hands the way they always had. A solemn but knowing look was shared between them

“if i had known me letting you leave the castle one time would lead to this...i would have done it a lot sooner. good luck out there bud”

oikawa quickly turned to you and helped you off of the ground

“you ready to run?”

he cupped your cheek and ran his thumb over one of the small cuts

hed be sure to treat that later

you nodded and leaned into his hand

“are you sure this is what you want?”

you were happy to leave with him

its more than you could ever ask for

“y/n youre the only person thats made me feel free. and by doing this i will be.”

you two finally got to share the kiss you had been deprived of and not only was it full of love but also full of hope for your future

“then lets go”

and you two sprinted off to your next adventure together

the flute you possessed was one he could no longer hear the sound of after that day

for it was enchanted, only to be be heard by those who were lost and lonely

with you he was neither anymore

and he couldnt be any happier than living out the rest of his days with you as a free man, a bird outside of its cage

#oikawa headcanons #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyu x reader

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theheartsmistakes · 3 years

Text

The Last Night Part XXV

(A/N at the end, please read for an announcement, thank you)

Parts I-XXIV:

Here is Part I

Here is Part II

Here is Part III

Here is Part IV

Here is Part V

Here is Part VI

Here is Part VII

Here is Part VIII

Here is Part IX

Here is Part X

Here is Part XI

Here is Part XII

Part XIII

Part XIV

Part XV

Part XVI

Part XVII

Part XVIII

Part XIX

Part XX

Part XXI

Part XXII

Part XXIII

Part XXIV

.XXV.

“Is he alive?” Lucie demanded before her mind could return to her after jumping from one realm to the other with Belial’s hand tight around her own. His grip burned into her skin like scolding water; she was sure when he released her there would be a mark, but to surprise there wasn’t.

Once in the shadowrealm, Belial released her and straightened his jacket, brushing invisible dust off the front. “He’s alive.”

“How do I know you’re not lying,” demanded Lucie, “that you didn’t just leave him there in a puddle of his own blood after you got what you were after?”

“You don’t,” sneered Belial. “I suppose you’ll just have to trust me.”

Lucie unleashed a bitter laugh. “Never. I’d sooner trust a stranger off the streets than trust you. You’re a monster.”

The insult didn’t seem to phase Belial. “Don’t you forget, darling granddaughter, that we are kin.”

“No we are not,” said Lucie. “A Shadowhunter’s blood is too strong to be tainted by the filth of yours.”

The slight twitch at the corner of Belial’s mouth told Lucie that had struck him. Perhaps weakly, but it struck him all the same.

“Come along.” He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets, and with a nod of his head, motioned for her to follow him.

A violent, hot wind pushed against Lucie’s back as if urging her after him, but she held her ground. She hadn’t realized since arriving in this other realm, where exactly she was, until she looked around for any hope of an escape. It didn’t look promising. There was a steal black, rot iron fence that went on farther than Lucie could see and was far too tall for her to climb. It was twined with thick spikes that held empaled, dangling inhuman figures. Some fluttered in the wind like kite tails and others still moaned. The fence stood in front of a massive, black stone manor that looked like the lair of every evil villain that haunted her nightmares. The peaks of the roof pointed in the air like a dragon’s scales, dead ivy clung to the bricks and dripped a reddish liquid that smelt sickly sweet. Around her, Lucie could hear the moans of lost souls on the wind and felt a shudder run through her body.

Looking up at it, all of her defiance and bravery evaporated and she quietly wished for her parents, a thing she hadn’t done since she was a little girl. She quietly wished that she weren’t alone. She’d even take one of her ghosts.

Belial walked up the front steps to the grand arched doorway. They opened for him at the command of his mere presence, groaning with ancient age and ruin, and Belial entered without waiting for Lucie.

Her whole body trembled as she contemplated turning and running, when she felt something cool in all of the heat, brush against her left hand.

She looked down and found a nearly translucent hand gripping hers. When she looked up again, she met the pale eyes of a young woman’s face. The face was familiar, but Lucie couldn’t quiet place it, like a word dangling on the tip of her tongue. The ghost flickered in the wind and offered Lucie a shy smile. “You are not alone, Lucie Herondale. We are here to help you.”

“Help me what?”

The ghost turned forward again and disappeared in the wind as it rushed over Lucie as if conscious of the threat against this realm’s master. Lucie released a sigh as her name was called from inside the manor.

When she didn’t immediately move, two black armored sentries that she’d thought were statues moved towards her.

“Fine,” she kicked a cloud of dust at one and skirted past the other as she walked towards the door.

The walls of the manor stood at least twenty feet tall and were the color of rich, fresh, never burnt coal that still had the diamond sheen to it. They rose and rose and rose into peaks that disappeared into complete darkness. The floor beneath her feet turned from darkened wood to a circular formation made of marble with a star upside down in the center. Realizing that she was standing in the center of it, Lucie took several hasty steps off until she nearly pressed herself against a wall.

There was no warmth here. No light, no softness, no peace, like a place only murders, tyrants, and beast were buried. Lucie wanted to flea more than she’s ever wanted to run before, but she squared her shaking shoulders and fixed her eyes on Belial standing on the first landing of the staircase. A chandelier of onyx crystals hovered above him, tinkling whenever the house would shutter with the wind.

“Follow me,” said Belial. “I’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”

“Staying?” Lucie’s voice echoed in the massive room, clanging off the walls like a trill bell. “What do you mean staying?”

Belial rubbed at the space between his eyes and exhaled. “Where you will remain until I say otherwise.”

“And here I was under the impression that world damnation was a rather pressing agenda,” balked Lucie. “If I’d known you needed a bit of nap first, I wouldn’t have put up such a fight.”

The house rumbled as Belial spun on Lucie. “I’m growing tired of your petulant little mouth. You can follow me to a room or you can stand there until I come for you. The choice is yours.”

“Now I get a choice?” Lucie hissed. “How kind of you.”

“You’ve always had a choice, Lucie. You could have chosen not to come with me and let your friend die.”

She bristled and crossed her arms across her chest. “A choice isn’t a choice when it’s forced upon you.”

“Well it’s yours now,” said Belial. “Choose wisely. All manner of questionable creatures lurk through these halls searching for lost souls to torment or devour.”

Is that what she was now, she wondered. Nothing more than a lost soul. She trembled to think of it.

As if on cue, a malicious laugh came from down the hallway and the sound crawled up her spine until the fine hairs rose on her neck. Belial was nearly to the top of the stairs; she was sure he wouldn’t descend after her if some unmentionable creature favored the taste of living flesh. If that was still indeed what she was.

Lucie hurried to the steps but slowed as to not show her fear.

Belial waited with his back to her staring at a grand portrait, bigger than any the queen had in the palace, of a scene that look quite biblical. If the Bible was written by a demon. Humans were at war with inhuman creatures: demons and monsters alike. The demons had massacred a fields worth of humans, the ground covered in blackness richer than the starless sky. The sky was painted purple, with thick clouds rolling towards the battle. Two peaks stood in the distance. On one stood a figure, the silhouette of a taloned beast raising his hands to the sky. Standing on the other mountain, a twin to the first, was a glowing figure the only bit of light in the darkness raising a sword over its head as if to throw it at the beast.

“The battle of good versus evil,” said Belial. “I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”

“Yes,” said Lucie and swallowed. “However the version I’ve heard goes quiet a bit differently and it does not favor your side.”

“My side?” Belial’s dark eyebrow arched. “And which side do you suppose that is?”

“Well, the evil side,” said Lucie. “Death, destruction, pain, darkness—“

“And the good side doesn’t have any of those things?” asked Belial. “Death, destruction, pain, darkness— none? It’s wholly and completely good?”

“Yes,” said Lucie simply.

“Really?” Belial’s mouth twitched. “What about the death of your friends? What of young Jesse Blackthorns untimely death? Or illnesses? What about the destruction good endures to ensure good wins? What about the pain caused before good is achieved or the good pain causes when something ceases to be good? What then?”

“Those things are just evil seeping into the good,” said Lucie.

“And good cannot seep into what is evil?”

“Sure if can,” said Lucie. “At least, that’s we all hope for.”

“So it’s not so black and white is it,” said Belial. “It’s all a bit grey?”

“No,” said Lucie quietly. “It’s a balance.”

Belial look at her then, but she didn’t return the attention. She started at the two sides of the picture. Darkness devouring the light. She always thought that good was suppose to prevail. That light would chase away the darkness, but perhaps they both needed one another. Too much good can be a bad thing just as much as too much bad.

Belial nodded. “We’re going to restore that balance.”

Lucie huffed a laugh. “Is the delusion you’re running on? No, you are not.”

“Good cannot always win,” said Belial. “That’s not balance. You’ll see.”

And I’m the petulant one, thought Lucie, but thought better of saying as much. She followed Belial down the lightly lit hall where shadows flickered in the sconced candle light. He stopped at the third door down on the left and opened it.

“You’re to stay here until I come for you,” said Belial. “The door is locked from the outside, so make yourself comfortable.”

Lucie stepped inside the dank room that smelled terribly of sulfur. A large bed stood pushed up against the wall with a four poster canopy hanging over it. The only other piece of furniture was a desk across from the bed where a candelabra flickered.

“Enjoy your nap,” said Lucie as Belial slammed the door behind himself.

After several moments, Lucie turned around away from the door to face the window when she came nose to nose with the ghost from earlier.

“By the angel!” She nearly scream. “What— How are you here?” She whispered in case he wasn’t far enough away to hear her.

“You summoned me,” said the ghost and walked over to the desk to examine the skull of what might have been a large rodent.

“No, I didn’t,” said Lucie rather defensively. The ghost continued examining the room. “If I don’t know why you’re here then how can I be expected to trust you?”

The ghost straightened again, her white hair billowed out around her shoulders in an invisible wind. “Why I am here is up to you, Lucie. You summoned me.”

“I didn’t,” hissed Lucie, wanting to yell but knowing that she couldn’t. She backed up and plopped herself down on the end of the bed. “If I did, I didn’t mean to.”

“Why not?” asked the ghost as she came to sit beside her on the edge of the bed. Sit being the wrong word, she hovered over the mattress. “You’ve been our closest ally to the living world since you were a child. I used to sing to you when you were falling asleep. Do you remember?” She started humming a familiar song, one Lucie would often catch herself humming without knowing the words or where she’d learned it.

“That was you?”

The ghost nodded. “As you got older, your ability to send us away or call for us became stronger. We could no longer come and go as we pleased as you learned to keep us away. Soon, we could only visit you in your sleep.”

Lucie’s chest ached. “Is that what I am right now? Asleep?”

“No,” said the ghost. “No, you are very awake and still very much alive. And there’s work to be done, Lucie.”

“Work?” Lucie bristled. “Are you working for Belial? Are you here to make sure that I cooperate?”

The ghost chuckled. “No, I am here because you summoned me.”

“You keep saying that,” said Lucie. “But I have no idea who you are.”

“Of course you do,” said the ghost. “You just don’t remember.”

“Why would I summon you and not someone that I remember,” she challenged. “If you’re not working for Belial then prove it.”

“I will,” said the ghost. “When you defeat him. You will understand.”

“Defeat him? I don’t know how to defeat him,” whispered Lucie, her eyes burned with unshed tears. “I’m not the right person for this. I’m not as cunning as my brother, strong as my father, or brave as Cordelia. No, my strength lies in other things. They could find a way, I just know they could. My greatest weapon has always been my pen— my mind. I won’t be able to do this alone.”

“Then perhaps you don’t have to do this alone,” said the ghost.

“What do you mean?” asked Lucie.

The ghost smirked. “Use your imagination, Lucie. What would one of your characters do if they were this situation with your abilities?”

Lucie thought for a moment if it were the beautiful Cordelia held prisoner. She’d probably manage to make a weapon with something around her or find a creative way to escape right underneath the villain’s nose. But she was not the beautiful Cordelia and this was not a story.

“Sometimes our greatest strengths won’t arise until the moments we need them most.”

As if a light had been flipped by a switch, Lucie suddenly understood what was being asked of her and she was overcome with dread.

“What will everyone think of me?” asked Lucie. “They’ll think me a demon— a monster.”

“Nonsense.” The ghost patted Lucie’s hand or tried to, her hand slid through Lucie’s like softened butter. “They’ll think you a hero.”

“How could you know that?”

“They’d be stupid not to,” said the ghost. “And there was once a time when I was a bit different. At first I was afraid of who I was. I hid from it and that nearly cost me my own life and the life of the people I loved most. It wasn’t until I embraced my otherness that I was able to find true happiness. And my fear of what those around me would think, well it seems I was wrong about them all along. They supported me. Sure, there were some that didn’t, but our paths rarely crossed and I didn’t bother with them. You have a family that adores you exactly as you are. Loyal friends that will welcome you and defend you. Pride is often the weakness of our greatest strengths. It’s time to stop living in fear of what other will think of you, Lucie, and embrace who you are; the abilities that only you have to offer.”

A tear dripped from Lucie’s chin. “I’m frightened.”

“Do it anyway,” said the ghost. “Remember you’re not alone. As a Shadowhunter, you’re never fighting alone. You have centuries of strength coursing through your veins . You need only call on it.”

“Who did you say you were again?”

“A very old friend.” The ghost stood and headed towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To prepare,” said the ghost. “Don’t worry. We’ll see each other again very soon.”

The ghost floated through the door and disappeared. Her haunting words echoed in Lucie’s mind.

She let herself fall back on the bed and stared at the blood red canopy above her. Draw on her ability; stop being so prideful; trust herself; rely on her own strength. No one was coming to rescue her, but that didn’t mean she was alone. Lucie knew what she needed to do. She wasn’t sure that it was entirely possible, but it was the only option she had, and she had to try. For her family, friends, and the world she was born to protect, she had to try.

If Belial wanted an army, then an army he shall have.

(A/N: Happy New Year’s friends! I hope you kissed 2020 goodbye in a way that felt satisfying considering the monstrosity that was this crap bag of a year. While I like to rag on 2020 because of all it took from me and my family, there were some great things— like all of you for example. I am extremely grateful for your loyalty and passion for this project. Since it is coming to a close, I would like to ask something of all of you. I have been working on a project of my own this last year, and have been considering sharing it on Tumblr and Archive. It’s about a young nurse named Vienna, whose life is constantly at risk because of a secret born unto her— she’s part of a race of magic welders called the Magicki who are being hunted and destroyed by a paranoid tyrant king. Through her 20 years of life she’s managed to keep her secret well hidden from everyone, until one night she’s attacked by the king’s elite and brutal soldiers, and her own instincts rise to save her and also condemn her. The attack, along with rebellious acts against the king occurring in the city, starts a manhunt for those responsible. Vienna must learn to use her power or watch her people die. This story is told from the perspective of three different characters: Vienna the nurse, Kollins the daughter of a dangerous Lord, and Rhin a Captain in the king’s guard. While they may all come from different paths of life, their paths will inevitably cross, but can they set aside their prejudices enough to help one another or see an entire race be destroyed?

Sound any good? I’d love your opinions! I am thinking of posting the first couple of chapters for review. Please comment or message me if you are interested. As always stay safe, stay healthy, and stay kind. Next update is coming on January 10th.)

#the last night fanfiction #the last hours #chain of gold fanfic #the shadowhunter chronicles #jordelia fanfiction #james x cordelia #Cordelia Carstairs #lucie herondale #james herondale

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dinolikes · 3 years

Text

IMPOSTER - PART FOUR

summery ❤︎ Nobody has any quirks and are stuck on a ship like among us

pairings ❤︎ Imposter!Dabi x Reader

content warnings ❤︎ major character deaths

| prev.|

it was quiet for a long time, nothing except deku's quiet cries, until hawks turned around to look at the couple.

"where were you guys?"

hawks looked you up and down and noticed dabis messed up hair and your still swollen lips and squinted his eyes, "wonder girl, your with me,"

"the hell she is-"

"listen asshole! another kid is dead and I dont need you guys whor-"

"you better fucking watch your next words carefully bird brain!" dabi's called hawks names before, but this time it seemed more vicious.

"why? do you wanna stay with her so you can murder her next?"

dabi raised his fist but you grabbed his shoulder, instantly stopping him, "dabi, it's fine. ill see you soon, we'll do our rounds and then we'll be fine. the kids dont need this drama,"

touya looked at you for what seemed like an hour before finally lowering his fist, refusing to look you in the eyes as he stormed off.

you look at shoto and deku, pulling them close and giving each of them a kiss on the forehead, "stick together." you give them a warning look, them both murmuring in understanding. "good, now off you go," you struggled to see them walk away, alone, knowing there was another imposter on the loose and either one of them could be next.

hawks broke your worrying thoughts, "ive asked before and ill ask again, how're you dating dabi?"

you roll your eyes, " and ill always give the exact same answer, once he likes you, you'll get it."

he didnt respond but the look in his eyes gave his thoughts away.

"he didn't kill kaachan, i was with him the entire time."

"maybe, but were you with him when ingeniumu died? thirteen?" you opened your mouth to say that you were in the same bed when thirteen wouldve been killed, but hawks beat you to it, "correction, were you AWAKE and with dabi when thirteen was killed?"

you paused but you kept your head held up high, "why are you so dead set that its dabi? huh? why dont you think me?"

"because all the evidence points to him!"

"what fucking evidence hawks!?"

"its obvious your emotions are clouding you judgement wonder! you didnt fight this much with tomura!"

"that's because tomura was an asshole who hated all of us!"

"so is dabi!"

"sure but hes an asshole who SPECIFICALLY hated tomura! why would he work with him?"

"maybe that's part of their plan!"

"you SAW them! they hated eachother!"

"people can act!"

"yeah obviously cause your acting like a fucking dick right now when I know you arent!"

"why? because I'm pointing out that your boyfriend is a murderer?!"

you flinched when you heard a bang and you snapped towards the noise, seeing dabi at the doorway with his fist against the wall, which now had an indent exactly where his hand was.

"touya-" before you could stop him, your boyfriend turned around and stormed off, again.

you shot a quick glare at hawks before going after him, not even worrying about going off alone.

"touya! come back! you know i dont believe him right!"

you walked up and down the halls, peaking your head in a room every once and a while, always coming up with nothing.

"touya!" you felt like when you were 13, your dog had ran away and you were running up and down the streets calling his name, only to get no response.

you eventually found your dog. but he was on the road, dead, tire tracks ran through him.

you called touya's name louder and became distinctly more aware that you were alone.

the beeping on your watch made you jump half way out of your skin, you lightly laughed at yourself before the realization set in.

emergency meeting. that probably meant a body was found.

you ran towards the cafeteria where once again, everyone sat.

that is except hawks.

both deku and shoto looked frightened at the sight of you, even going as far as stepping back when you came in.

it broke your heart and you were confused, did they not trust you?

that is until you realised that you were supposed to be with hawks.

oh my god, you were supposed to be with hawks.

"WAIT! no no no! I-I can explain!" dabi nodded, thankfully looking like he knew you were innocent, "hawks was talking about dabi! l-like badly! an-and dabi walked in and he got upset by his words -which by the way," you directed your attention at dabi for a moment "i was defending you babe i swear- but-but dabi ran out and i tried looking for him but i couldnt find him and oh my god i should've been with hawks!"

dabi quickly nodded, almost embarrassingly, "yeah, i heard her yelling after me,"

shoto and deku relaxed after you explained and dabi confirmed, but deku quickly stiffened again.

"you mean dabi you were alone?"

dabi paled as he realised he fucked up.

"wait no! well yes but no! shut up!"

deku scrambled back, grabbing shotos hand to drag them over to your side of the table.

fuck wait- what?

"n-now hold on- we cant just accuse dabi!"

"me and shoto were together in medbay the entire time! if it isnt you then its dabi! twice said there was one more!"

"w-well how do we know we can trust twice? he WAS the imposter!" you desperately cried, dabi nodding quickly.

"exactly! hes a murder how do w-"

"i believe deku." shoto said, so quietly you could barely hear him. he didnt look up at anyone, avoiding the eyes of his brother.

"sho-" dabi took a step forward but shoto quickly stepped back, keeping the same long distance between them, pushing both you and deku back with you.

you frantically look at dabi, who had a look of genuine hurt, "n-no! dabi isnt the imposter!"

"hey," you snap your head towards shoto, who had finally looked up so you could clearly see the tears in his eyes, "this isnt easy, but your emotions are clouding your judgement."

you thought back to hawk's words, he told you the exact same thing.

you look back and forth between dabi and the boys, both looking desperately at you.

"cmon y/n, your my doll! i would never betray you like this!" your eyes soften as dabi almost pulls you forward with his voice.

"hes lying!" deku cried, pulling you back, "he was mad at hawks right? no one sees him and now hawks is gone!"

he had a point and you hated you, your eyes welled up as you thought about it.

"doll trust me! i swear!"

"dont trust him!"

you thought to hawks words, he didnt like anyone.

he only liked you and shoto, who just so happen to be alive. the one he could stand is dead, but he was more useful dead then alive to him.

you didnt sleep much but you DID sleep, and you could almost remember waking up to dabi walking back into the room, claiming he needed to use the washroom.

he was mad at hawks.

you look behind dabi and see the room used to push the imposters out, the door open. all you had to do was shove him in quickly and pull the lever.

"doll," you look dabi in the eyes, seeing him plead with you. "cmon y/n, please."

you step forward towards dabi, "did you do it? be honest with me, did you do it?"

something flashed in dabi's eyes, "no."

and grief filled you, because you realised that at this moment, you didnt believe him.

you looked away as you raised your arms, pushing him into the room and locking it.

dabi's eyes widen in shock but soon squint to hide the tears.

"I love you y/n." he choked out

you look him in the eyes, "I love you too." you yank down the lever, sending him flying into space and you into a fit of hysteria.

you sobbed so hard you fell down, shoto and deku attempting to comfort you but you push them off,

"sho, how about you and deku go watch a movie in your room." shoto slowly nods, taken deku away.

when the door closes you let out a sob.

how was shoto doing this? he acted so, so strong.

i mean i guess he was related to touya, hes gotta be strong.

you lightly laugh.

you couldnt believe it

touya, the love of your life, was dead.

and you killed him.

you were wracked with grief, questions rang through your head like what if you were wrong, what if twice was lying?

even worse though, what if twice wasnt? what if you werent wrong?

you didnt think it would be either deku or shoto, but the voice in the back of your head always pointed out how deku always was a bit too peppy, and shoto always seemed apathetic to everything. you always shook those thoughts out though.

the worse of the ideas though, was what if you were right? then what, was all of your moments with touya just...nothing? was he just using you as a good alibi? because he knew you were less likely to suspect him?

it wasnt until weeks later, when headquarters had called you in that you found out.

they had all of the survivors (which was just you, deku and shoto) and asked if they wanted to see the footage, which would prove if you were right or not.

you all agreed, though you more hesitant.

what if you were wrong?

you changed your mind, being wrong is a LOT worse then being right.

you couldnt confirm that though, because when they pressed play, there dabi was, all sweaty and standing above thirteens body.

they also showed tomura infront of ingeniumu, twice infront of kaachan, and dabi infront of hawks.

you all were crying, there were your friends, murdering your other friends. you could barely hold in your sobs.

as you all walked out, none of you said anything and just kept walking down and out the building.

it wasnt until you felt the soft breeze that you spoke up, "are you guys still up for that froyo?"

they slightly smile and nod.

tag list - @axerrri @underratedmage

#dabi #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #dabi x you #mha dabi #mha headcanons #mha imagines #mha x y/n #dabi is touya #among us #touya todoroki #touya x reader #toya todoroki #bnha dabi #bnha #bnha x y/n

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todoshotoki · 4 years

Text

𝙋𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂: todoroki shoto x reader

𝙏𝙍𝙄𝙂𝙂𝙀𝙍 𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂: mentions of eating disorder

𝙎𝙐𝙈𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙔: where todoroki falls ill because of slipping into old habits.

𝙒𝙊𝙍𝘿 𝘾𝙊𝙐𝙉𝙏: 1.6K

an empty stomach.

he could vividly remember when his father would yell at him. his voice booming throughout the house as he complained about how much time he had wasted on shoto.

look here world! my son’s a failure!

he told him that he shouldn’t waste his quirk and fall victim to weakness as if it wasn’t enji’s fault that shoto had grown up so reserved after his mother was sent away.

the only thing that shoto could control was his food intake.

seeing his father get upset that he wouldn’t eat and struggle was another type of pleasure. he would purposely make himself sick and watch his old man burst a blood vessel over it.

everything was set out in life for him. he should be grateful, many people would love to be on the road to success. but when you were told over and over that your thoughts weren’t yours and you did know what was best for you, it really messed with your sense of identity and control of over your actions.

when shoto had been eating poorly, it started to worry you.

you all were laughing and eating together except for the quiet ones per usual but something seemed incredibly off with your boyfriend. he hadn’t touched his food at all. you reached for his hand subtly and took it into yours. he was colder than usual. you rubbed his hand with your thumb as if to say, i’m here for you.

he would usually say something to someone. he had peaked his head out of his shell nowadays and was more open to speaking about his problems to either you or midoriya but he wouldn’t even say anything to izuku either.

you just prayed it wasn’t his home life again.

the next day when you were doing quirk endurance was when everything spun off track.

“todoroki-kun, are you okay?” you hear from behind you. turning your head to see yaoyorozu kneeling next to a crouched todoroki. he was out of breath, taking in every breath as if he slipped up for one second he would die. it was very clear that his body was shaking relentlessly as he struggled to get back on his feet.

you deactivated your quirk and joined the two to check up on your boyfriend. “what’s wrong?” you ask momo sweeping todoroki’s hair up to check his temperature.

“i don’t know everything seemed fine, he was on his feet one moment and he was down the next.” her lips trembled a bit as she looked at his sickened state.

“sho, you’re burning up,” you removed your ungloved hand on his forehead. “it’s no use it won’t work,” he breathily huffed, his head swaying as if he was so drowsy that he couldn’t even keep his head up straight.

“what won’t work?” you ask him again and this time he doesn’t respond. a ghost of whisper passes his lips as he can’t choke the words out. “hey, lay him down, (l/n). i’ll get mr. aizawa!” yaoyorozu gets up as you lower his head down onto the rock. you felt incredibly bad as your quirk could do nothing to help him.

“my fire...” he shakily let out, “it’s not working,”

that’s when it finally hit you. he was exhausted because he hasn’t been eating properly so he can’t even regulate the temperature in his body to make it comfortable for him. his fire quirk won’t activate because his body is too busy using the heat to keep him from completely freezing over.

“did you ate breakfast today? blink once, no, blink twice, yes.” you say, waving your hands over his eyes to keep him focused on something. he blinked once which worried you. “you’re not supposed to be skipping any meals, sho...,” your lips curling in a slight frown.

“-he just collapsed. i don’t know what’s come over him.” you heard the urgent pairs of footsteps behind you. “he hasn’t been eating,” you told mr. aizawa. he nodded and your throat grew dry as you turned back to shoto who had slipped out of consciousness. “shoto? shoto!” you call out to him.

“(l/n), go back to training. i’m bringing todoroki to the infirmary.” mr. aizawa said, scooping up shoto in his arms.

“what? wait, please, let me-”

he was already gone before you could finish your sentence.

anxiety ate at you as you finished your endurance training. your quirk worked like kirishima’s but it only applied to your hair in a sharpening rather than hardening ability. you could control your hair like the nerves in your fingers so you kept it long.

this was more than convenient in multitasking but in the more mundane tasks not so much. it took a bit more concentration to tense up your body to activate your quirk so with the additional constant wandering you found yourself failing at the task at hand.

“he’ll be okay, (y/n),” ochako says, putting her hand on your shoulder as she passes by, “todoroki is strong,” you nod in response and continue to put your all into your training. if something had happened, mr. aizawa would definitely tell you, right?

...

shoto sat in the infirmary. a troubled frown donned on his lips as he uneasily glanced at the IV in his arm. he already had attempted to rip it out but recovery girl had her eyes on him as well as hound dog who already suspected what todoroki had been struggling with. he had asked shoto some questions already but he promptly refused to answer them. even if he wanted to, the words wouldn’t come out without tears and he couldn’t bend his pride far enough to go through the embarrassment of being vulnerable.

oh, how he wished you were here right now.

“i want to see (y/n),” todoroki croaked as his throat was still dry from the heavy breathing he had suffered through prior. “i’m afraid we can’t let you see her yet. i’m sorry, todoroki.�� recovery girl says with a pitiful smile. “we might have to call endeavor in. we can’t just keep your current state private.” hound dog says.

shoto’s heart skipped a beat.

fuck.

“i don’t think that’ll be necessary. i can take care of myself.” he barked back. “well, you’re blood pressure is incredibly low and your heart rate even more so. if it got any worse, we might have to send you to the hospital.”

it couldn’t be that serious. could it? a meal a day and a few snacks in between wasn’t bad for him. it’s only been a little over a week. men in the military could last longer. the fact that he was in the infirmary for such small conditions is proof that he wasn’t in control of his wellbeing enough. he should’ve done better.

he should’ve-

“sho!” you abruptly opened the door with such urgency in your eyes that made him almost shrivel up in his seat. “thank god, you’re okay,” you cupped his cheeks in your hands and kissed him on the nose. the slight pda making shoto’s heart race.

you then turn to hound dog and recovery girl (who was slightly enjoying the affectionate moment between the two). it seems like you didn’t see that the two were staring right at the two of you because you bowed in apologies almost immediately. “ah, that was so rude of me. i apologize.”

“no, no, don’t worry, you’re fine.” recovery girl smiles, “his blood pressure was rather low and he’s seemed to shred a few pounds. he won’t answer any of hound dogs questions. is it okay if y/n answers some questions for us, todoroki?”

he thought about it for a moment.

he was torn between giving in and avoiding having to see his father or selfishly wanting to be sick. it had only been a week and he clung onto these habits. it wasn’t new to him in the slightest. when he was younger, to rebel against his father, he would refuse to eat to take away his pride. if he was too weak, he wouldn’t have to go through all of the harsh training he endured.

this time it was different but maybe one leap of faith...

“sure,” he responds shakily gripping onto the hero costume that he had been left in.

“wait-” you interrupt the beginning of hound dog’s screening, “could i try talking to him alone first? i don’t to step over boundaries.”

the two heroes share a look before permitting you to speak to shoto alone.

he didn’t want to say anything at first. you sat on the side of the bed combing your fingers through his hair, trying to coerce him into saying something.

“i don’t want to see my dad... not like this.”

“is it still happening? when you visited your sister at the house... did anything happen?” you ask, tracing your thumb over his scar. he only nodded, biting his lip. “this isn’t the first time. i don’t know i just broke and i feel... lost?”

he cleared his throat before continuing, “all of this feels so selfish. you do so much for me and it must be hard for you to just watch me unravel all of your progress-”

“hey, hey...,” you whisper, shaking your head, “you didn’t unravel anything. you slipped up yes but the fact that you recognized it was enough. you growing and what you went through wasn’t your fault. it was never your fault, alright?”

he nods, “i love you,”

“i love you too, sho,”

#shoto #shouto #todoroki angst #mha todoroki #bnha shoto todoroki #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shouto #bnha oneshots #oneshot #boku no hero fanfic #my hero academia #boku no academia #bnha angst #angst fic #angst

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littlemrcaprisun · 3 years

Link

TW: major character death, mentions of illness/disease, extreme alcohol consumption

This time wouldn’t be any different than the last: Dani would pack up her bag, kiss her girlfriend goodbye and go stay with her mom for a few weeks. They’d go to doctors appointments, she’d give her mother poisonous cocktails through an IV that made Dani question how it even helped, and then she’d take the long drive back home. Every time the disease recurred the four of them; her two sisters and their mother, would spend hours discussing what the game plan was going to be. It never changed. Sofia was always too busy with school halfway across the country and god forbid anyone asked her to come care for her dying mother. Then there was Tiffany, the baby, she lived with Alcina but at 16 and in high school there wasn’t much the poor kid could do for their mother. So that was the end of it.

This last call felt different, Alcina felt more desperate for Dani to come, for both her and Sofia to come. Sofia made a promise to come at the end of the semester and Dani swore at her for five minutes while Alcina tried to calm her and Tiffany cried. Mother was dying and Sofia was wasting precious time with her. Dani told Sofia to go fuck herself and hung up and hasn’t spoken to her since. That was two weeks ago. Now as Dani pulls into the long drive of the mansion just beyond the family vineyard, she wants to vomit. How much longer would they have to do this? How much longer could their mother hold on like this?

It took her a full five minutes of standing outside the front door before she was finally able to knock. From the other side of the door Dani can hear the wheels of the IV stand getting louder as her mother approaches the door and as the door opens Dani’s breath leaves her body. Alcina has never looked this horrible. Her face was a hollow shell of what it used to be, dark empty eyes, unnaturally protruding cheekbones; but her smile was still warm and still felt like home. Dani refused to hug her, she couldn’t bring herself to do it, that wouldn’t feel like her mom.

“Hello, little ladybug.” Her voice doesn’t even sound right. It’s tired, raspy, just sick. Dani can’t even explain it any better than sick. “Oh, Daniela, please stop staring at me. I know I look atrocious, I have to see myself everyday.”

“You always look beautiful, mother.” Dani’s comment is quick and she brushes it off as quickly as it comes out. “Where’s Laughy Taffy?” Dani crosses into the foyer and throws her bag down next to the stairs to deal with later. The house smells more and more like a hospital the closer Dani gets to her mother’s bedroom. It feels far more familiar than the sickly sweet artificial scents her mother kept to try to cover the smell of disinfectants and latex gloves. Dani can’t help herself when she passes by but to open the door and peak inside. The sight should fill her with sadness but it makes her angry. The machines’ gentle hums sound more like laughs mocking Dani, the hospital bed sitting at 45 degree feels like it is sitting up and judging her, the pepto-pink emesis buckets stacked nearby make her nauseous. This just had to happen to their family. This just had to ruin their lives.

“They brought a new machine last week.” Tiffany’s soft melodic voice interrupts Dani from the rage building in her chest. “It’s so she can do all of her treatments at home now. I can show you how it works.”

Dani turns around and all but throws herself at her sister, pulling her not so little sister into her arms. “You can show me that stuff later. I wanna know about how you’re doing. You’re like 6 feet talk now, right? Almost as tall as mother.”

“Yeah… Last doctor's appointment I was around 5’8” or something.” Tiffany shrugs it off, trying to act like she wasn’t proud of her height, like she didn’t love towering over her older sister.

“Why did you have to go to the doctor?” That word was like a bad omen in this house. It left their mouths feeling dry and their skin crawling.

“Just my yearly physical for tennis. Don’t worry.” But worry was the only thing that they could do in this family. Every second was spent worrying whether or not Alcina was going to have another nose bleed, or if she was going to be able to get out of her chair, or if she would even wake up in the fucking morning. “So, has she talked much about this with you? Or is she keeping everything to herself again? The doctor had to call me again this time because she wouldn’t.” Dani tries to keep it casual as if this is the kind of conversation they have everyday, though at this point that’s what it was turning into. Tiffany’s face grows solemn and grows dark.

“She won’t tell me anything, neither will the doctors, but I know it’s worse. She is so sick. She throws up all night and her medicine is stronger and sometimes she doesn’t remember who I am…” Tiffany starts hyperventilating and Dani hugs her once again.

“Hey, hey. Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be just like last time, okay? She’s gonna be sick for awhile, I’ll be here for a few months then she’ll start to feel a little better, then she’ll go back into remission.” Dani assures Tiffany, not realizing that their mother was standing behind them listening to everything.

“Tiff, my sweet, will you go grab my pill box from the kitchen? I forgot it before dragging myself up here.” Alcina makes them jump with her sudden appearance. Tiffany bounds down the stairs, ready and willing to do anything for her mother at any moment. “Dani, come here. We need to speak.”

They sit on the edge of the thin, firm hospital grade mattress and Dani knows the bad news is coming: a new prognosis.

“How long? Just tell me.” Dani looks down at the beige carpet, focusing on a faded stain where she had spilled grape juice when she was 6.

“Daniela… please.” Alcina reaches for her child’s hand but she pulls away. “Three months.”

Suddenly, Dani feels like she’s going to pass out. That’s the shortest time they’ve ever given her. Nothing hurt this bad, nothing had ever knocked the air out of her lungs like this just did. “Wh-Why? What happened? You’ve always been able to manage this and you’ve always been able to come back from this. You’ll be fine.”

“Ladybug, we always knew this would happen.” Alcina is trying to be gentle but that isn’t what Dani needs. Dani needs to know now.

“Mother, tell me, now.”

“It’s progressed. There is no chance for remission, there is no more treatment, there is nothing else. This is the end of the line, my sweet.” Alcina seems peaceful and that makes Dani angry. She wishes she could feel anything but angry. “I’m ready, it's okay. The medicine will help keep me comfortable until I slip away. It won’t be painful.”

“For you…” Dani’s eyes burn. “What about Tiffany? Are you just going to keep lying to her? She thinks you’re going to get better!” Dani doesn’t want to yell at the poor fragile woman but it just comes out but before she knows it her mother’s arms are wrapped around her holding her tight.

“We’re all going to be okay.”

#lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #lady alcina #lady alcina dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #resident evil village #resident evil viii

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