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#john c wright
Can you give me some life advice? I don't know what I want to do for a living, and it makes me anxious.
Sure. The only advice I know that actually works is "learn to make friends," so I'm going to repeat that advice with slightly different wording.
Think about what things in your life you're most satisfied with. For me it's my friendships. When I think about which things in my life I would miss if they were gone, it's my friendships a lot of the time. My family, my romantic partner, and my hobbies are close seconds and thirds, but the list is entirely dominated by my friends.
So one good rule of thumb is: if you want a good life, get the kinds of friendships that you value. This is just like "follow your dreams" in that it's vague and requires some thinking about what you want. The reason I mention it is that having friends at all seems to me to be a necessary precondition for even trying to have the kinds of life you want.
Life has a lot of regular things that people do. You will probably need to do some of them. And sometimes they are fun. But what makes life worth living is all the weird stuff you don't need to do. If you don't have friends, even your interests will become boring. Even with friends, most of the time is just work and sleep. But if you have friends, you have someone to watch bad TV with you, you have someone to look forward to seeing, you have someone to talk to, you have people you'll make things with, you have people whose jokes you know and like and can look forward to hearing again. All these things make the rest of the time, even its most boring and work-like parts, into things you can enjoy, even enjoy looking forward to. Life can be a lot of suffering, but it's also quite fun, when you've got good friends.
I remember you posted once about how much you like MLP. The problem with MLP (in isolation, without any community or social context, which is kind of a silly way of talking about anything, but the issue with the show you were talking about was a specific thing you were focused on) was that the pacing was too fast. If a show was too fast-paced, it didn't really have time to make its characters interesting. Even if the individual scenes were good, it was all too fast for you to have time to build up affection for the characters, or even just feel like you knew them. Wouldn't it be nice, you thought, to see a show where every scene took its time and had its own music and didn't have to run as fast as the next one?
So my advice is, don't run your life so fast you don't have time to make friends. Make time. Try to have a good time, as much as possible, even if the stakes are small, and even if the circumstances don't seem that important or exciting. Get in the habit of saying "yes" to invitations from people you don't know or aren't all that close to. Say "yes" to social things even if they're boring or boring-sounding. Say "yes" to learning new skills, even if those skills seem like they wouldn't be very important or useful. Life is strange, and most people are probably going to underestimate how much having friends is a prerequisite to feeling fulfilled. The norms of a good life might not be the same as what you predict from individual cases, or even from averages. Life is not MLP, where the entertaining parts are all upfront and immediately obvious and you're just running from one good scene to the next. Most of the entertainment in life is at the intersection of circumstances you're not sure about, situations you wouldn't choose to be in because they're boring or just don't seem like something you'd "want to do" but that end up being fun, unexpected, or interesting. The stuff that's actually great, the "wow" moments of life, rarely come from "choosing" for them, even if you do your best to choose for them.
Try to do the things that fill up the corners of the space you'll have to explore. Everything is going to do that. The things you need to do will do that. But there's no point in being a bystander in your life. Don't just "watch" life, "participate" in it. Your life will be very strange, in good ways and bad ones. Stuff will happen that is out of your control, that you don't want, that will even be really bad. But life is also full of possibilities. Things change. It's important to take advantage of this. Make friends. Because even when your life is not what you want it to be, it is still a place where you can make people you care about, and where you can learn new things. Some of those things you learn might even be about how to improve your life, and some of them will probably end up being invaluable to you in ways you couldn't have predicted.
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siryl · 2 years
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"The Great Gray Window" by Jeremiah Humphries.
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danbensen · 1 month
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From my Patreon
One Bright Star to Guide Them by John C. Wright - I started this thinking it was a novel. It isn't. It's a novel's worth of plot condescend down into an accelerated summary, with most of the major plot points taking place off screen and related by the main character in his conversations with other characters. I can see what Wright was doing, but I wish he'd just told the story. Anyway, the story itself is fantastic. How do you drive away evil? What do you do once you've grown up? Wright actually answers those questions, and answers them well.
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wack-ashimself · 7 months
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HOLY FUCK! The ending of the series 'Pantheon' is one of the BIGGEST MIND FUCKS EVER!
YOU KNOW THERE'S SPOILERS!
ok....nm. It is too good to waste. So HINTS....alluding to stuff...
Let me just say: till episode 6, great well written balanced season. Not bad, but nothing as good as the first season honestly.
THEN THE LAST TWO EPISODES GO INTO THE FUTURE.
Maybe even so far into the future, besides like 'the end of time/suns ending' (dr who) that no show has ever gone that far.
And I am not gonna tell you what happens BUT...
If I had to say the ending and you would ONLY understand if you got these references:
>the matrix (duh)
>a VERY specific episode of the cartoon 'the gargoyles' where they have to stop a super nano bot computer from taking over the world (it's one of the BEST).
>AND a VERY specific trilogy written by John C Wright called 'the golden transcendence (a difficult read for non sci fi peeps. THICK fucking books).
ALL 3 of those combine to make this ending. And each of those was a MIND FUCK of their own, so combined in a totally original way of its' own?
FUCK YEAH. GO WATCH IT!
<side note-if you in ANY WAY thought this was gonna be how it all ended in season 1, YOU'RE A FUCKING GENIUS. NEVER saw the last 2 episodes coming. OUTTA LEFT FIELD, but in a GREAT fucking way.
Also if they make a season 3, FUCK YOU. PERFECT UNEXPECTED ENDING.
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olivierdemangeon · 2 years
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THE PERFECT STORM (2000) ★★★✮☆
THE PERFECT STORM (2000) ★★★✮☆
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View On WordPress
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antebellumite · 7 months
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chewin on the prospect of an antebellum ace attorney au..
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Terrible Visions
A scrambled timeline is a timeline that has proceeded much like ours, except that some particular facet has been mixed up all over the place. For example, in the scrambled timeline we will consider today, our world's fictional stories have been told by different people, and in different ways.
Bryan Lee O'Malley, in this alternate timeline, is best known as the cartoonist responsible for Homestuck, a popular comic series about a group of children who become embroiled in a cosmic-scale video game known as Sburb. Although Homestuck is probably most often associated with the cult classic Edgar Wright-directed film adaptation released in 2016, the comics themselves are highly-regarded, and the film brought a new audience to them. Netflix has commissioned an animated continuation, The Homestuck Epilogues, which is due to be released soon.
Andrew Hussie, on the other hand, is a figure you're likelier to know if you're overly online. His "MS Paint Adventures" series - most notably including Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, which is kind of like Homestuck but weirder and hornier - have firmly remained a fixture of obsessive Twitter fandom culture. It doesn't help that the best-known iteration, Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, is infamous for stretching thousands of pages of meandering digressions out of a simple and focused narrative starting point. Scott Pilgrim fans have developed something of a toxic reputation, which is not entirely deserved - although of course Knives discourse is interminable, and back in the fandom's heyday there were reportedly incidents of fans assaulting each other "for being evil exes".
Scott Pilgrim fandom was very big back in the day, though, and consequently it was a nexus for other creative figures who would go on to surpass Hussie. Perhaps foremost among these is indie developer Toby Fox. He was literally living in Hussie's basement when he produced ROSEQUARTZ, a universally-beloved retro Goonies-like RPG about a human hybrid boy born to a race of gem-based aliens. He's now developing an episodic spiritual successor, RAZORQUEST, with more overtly dark themes. It revolves around an inheritance dispute among a demon-summoning family.
Other foundational figures in this timeline's internet culture include Alison Bechdel, who helped get the webcomic scene started. Although she's now more seriously acclaimed for her personal memoirs, her gaming webcomic Press Start To Dyke, which premiered in 1998, was once everywhere. It had a broad appeal, and at its height, it was common to see even straight guys sharing pages from it. Time has not been especially kind to it, though, and at this point its main legacy is test.png, a meme spawned by one of the comic's most ill-advised pages.
Then there's John C. McCrae, more often known by his pseudonym Wildbow. A prolific and reclusive author of doorstopping "web serials" - long-form fiction published online - McCrae's best-known serial is still his first, Wind, a noir superhero story set in an alternate history where capes are mostly just a subculture of unpowered vigilantes. Wind landed in a culture already rife with comic book deconstructions, like Alan Moore's 2002 graphic novel Worm Turns, but it nonetheless managed to stand out from the pack with its extensive cast of characters and its themes of coordination problems and the end of the world. Later McCrae web serials include Part (the first "Otherverse" serial; an urban fantasy story about a couple who die in a car accident and find that they have become ghosts), Tear (a "biopunk" story set in a collapsing underwater city), Warn (the controversial Wind sequel), and Play (the second "Otherverse" serial, set in a small Indiana town that helps hide a psychic girl from the CIA).
Last and perhaps least, we should discuss J. K. Rowling. Far and away the most famous of any of these authors, Rowling's name is inseparable from the YA series that she debuted with, the Luz Noceda books, which remain her one successful work. Although it was heavily derivative of older fantasy novels - like Jill Murphy's Academy For Little Witches, or Philip Pullman's Methods Of Rationality trilogy - Luz Noceda was still a monumental and unprecedented success in the publishing industry, and the film adaptations were consistent blockbusters. The final book, Luz Noceda and the Watcher of Rain, contained some allusions to a romantic relationship between Luz and her recently-redeemed associate Amity. Rowling confirmed that this was her intent in subsequent interviews and indicated that she had fought her publishers for it; the film would then go on to escalate matters slightly further.
There have been many lengthy and heated online arguments as to whether the references in the book itself constitute text or mere subtext. Whatever your stance on this discourse, a new complication has been introduced recently: although she has put out no official statement on the matter as of yet, it has become quite apparent from Rowling's shrinking network of contacts and her conspicuous silences that she is certainly TERF-sympathetic, and likely an outright TERF herself. For many, this is leading to a critical reevaluation of the social values inherent in the Luz Noceda series; others, to say the least, are holding off on that kind of reappraisal.
Anyway, Scott Pilgrim just beat Luz Noceda in a Twitter poll for Most Gay Media, and people are piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissed
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chemicallywrit · 10 days
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Iiiiiiit’s Audio Drama Sunday! And I’m sick but I’m still writing this post because this week in audio drama absolutely slaps. Beware of some light spoilers ahead, let’s GO
🔥 oh man, @camlannpod landed this season finale beautifully. I’m so glad our crew triumphed and that the world is fuller than any of them thought and that the story can go on and change. I have to relisten, this is such a good show. If you haven’t listened to Camlann yet, now is the perfect time, go LISTEN.
🐷 @hellofromthehallowoods is dark but it only occasionally truly scares me. This episode, I was scared. WHAT is Shanks and WHAT is up with that freakin puppet and WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO? I feel the weight of these stories tangibly and I worry, just like our eyes in the skies, for the fate of the people I care about.
👽 One of the strengths of Among the Stars and Bones is its ability to put extremely normal people in absolutely harrowing situations, and in this episode, when it's your second harrowing situation in less than half a year, what are our heroes going to do but be like "Well Sure, This Might As Well Happen." Contrast that with the reactions of Captain Francis and Johann (played with deftness and skill by Oliver Smith and Jerron Bacat), who are experiencing the horrors for the first time and Not Doing Well and that's horror babe. I'm especially interested in Johann, what a fascinating character.
🙃 I started @worldgonewrongpod this week and it is everything I like. It's a) a fictional advice show in b) extraordinary circumstances that's c) very funny and sweet and d) hits like a brick in a sock. If that tweet by John Rogers ("every day i remember with gritted teeth that people lived perfectly fulfilling lives in during the fall of the roman empire," if I may paraphrase) was a show, it'd be this show. I love it.
✨ Call me Rion, because I'm here to take on things that aren't my responsibility and ask you to pLEASE support season two of @storiesfromylelmore. In maybe the cutest crowdfunding announcement I've ever heard, ItMe has called for our help and I don't have any freakin money, but if you do, you should consider giving it to Stories from Ylelmore!
🧛🏻‍♂️ In Hannah News, to borrow a phrase from fellow producer, friend, and all-around badass Tal, it's so much fun to listen to Re: Dracula without having to make it. I'm having a great time now that Drac is back. Won't you join us? Inn Between is also about to hit all our early access folks with a gut punch, get ready.
Hey! Certain entities that owe me money are not paying me in any kind of time, but nevertheless I have to pay bills. It's rude how the bills do not take that into account. In any case, if you like what I make or enjoyed this post, consider leaving me a tip!
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longwuzhere · 10 months
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Here are some cool Easter eggs that I found the newest My Adventures with Superman episode, “Let’s Go to Ivo Tower, You Say”. Links to the easter eggs post:
Episode 1 is here
Episode 2 is here
Episode 3 is here
Episode 5 is here
Episode 6 is here
Episode 7 is here and here
Episode 8 is here
Episode 9 is here
Episode 10 is here SPOILERS if you have not seen the episode of course:
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Perry assigns our intern trio to go get interviews about Anthony Ivo. I previously mentioned Ivo's deal in the comics in this post, but we'll talk more about this version of Ivo later.
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Shout out to Lois' hanbok! As a kid in the 90s my first exposure to the DC was through the DC Animated Universe. Because of the way some of the characters like Lois, Clark, Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Terry, were designed, as a kid, I thought they were Asian. Very cool to see this version of Lois be Korean.
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Before Lois shows up for their black tie event at Ivo Tower, Jimmy knocks down a stack of papers and magazine and Clark goes to pick it up and stumbles upon the Metropolis Star with a cover that shows him as a kid flying 15 years ago.
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The Metropolis star is a rival newspaper to the Daily Planet in the comics. The publisher makes its first appearance in Superman #9 (1987) (W&P: John Byrne, I: Karl Kesel, C: Tony Ziuko, L: John Costanza).
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When our intern trio makes it to Ivo Tower, Lois spots some very interesting powerful and political figures of Metropolis, the CEO of Galaxy Communications and Mayor Fleming.
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Galaxy Communications makes its first appearance in Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #133 (1970) where it was headed by Morgan Edge, the then leader of Intergang. In the comics Clark and Lois does work for Galaxy communications thanks to it buying out the Daily Planet forcing Clark to be the evening news anchor. The Galaxy Communications panels here are from Swamp Thing #68 (1988) (W&P: Rick Veitch, I: Alfredo Alcala, C: Tajana Wood, L: John Costanza).
Mayor Fleming makes her first appearance in Action Comics #894 (2010) (W: Nick Spencer, P: R.B. Silva, I: Denis Freitas, C: Dave McCaig, L: Rob Leigh) where she appoints Jimmy Olsen and Sebastien Mallory as a welcoming committee for Dalwythians aliens. Like her MAwS counterpart she is obviously the Mayor of Metropolis.
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Later, Lois goes and questions Senator Sackett at the party/event.
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In the comics Sackett was a councilman not a senator who makes his first appearance in Superman #130 (1997) (W: Dan Jurgens, P: Norm Breyfogle, I: Joe Rubenstein, C: Glenn Whitmore and Digital Chameleon, L: John Costanza) depicted here in the issue's panel wearing a Superman costume. Sackett in the comics is in Luthor's pocket.
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I am like 99.99% sure this is Lex Luthor like who else in Metropolis is named Alex, has red hair (if this is Lex Luthor and he shows up again, I'll talk about him and what I mean by this in another post.), and works in the science and tech field.
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We finally meet Ivo and he is as I was hoping he'd be a major techbro tool. The way he acts in his introduction and his meeting with Clark is very much like Lex and Clark's meeting in Batman v Superman. Both Ivo and Lex upon meeting Clark know how strong he is. In MAwS Ivo punches his chest and it hurts him and in BvS you heard an audible thud when Lex knocks on Clark's chest. Very similar vibes between both scenes.
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Clark confronts Ivo about one of his deals and name drops one of Metropolis' mob families.
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Bobby Gazzo, head of the Gazzo crime family in Metropolis, makes his first appearance in Batman: Dark Victory #1 (W: Jeph Loeb, P&I: Tim Sale, C: Gregory Wright and Heroic Age, L: Richard Starkings). Fantastic sequel to Long Halloween, highly recommend reading both books.
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After Clark gets thrown out and Lois offers to repair his jacket, we see Lois mentioning her dad, Sam Lane a military general and if the person at the end of the second part of the first episode is Sam Lane...
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...and he shows up again in the show I'll talk more about it in another post. For now this is all just speculation.
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Might be reading into this but maybe a subtle nod to how the words "Superman" and "pal" are often used together. Both have been used as a comic book title, "Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen" as I've mentioned in these posts a few times.
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The show here did a very clever thing with Ivo. Normally any other media pertaining to Ivo would give the audience his power and weakness stealing robot Amazo, but here the MAwS team was able to combine both Ivo and another villain in Superman's rogues gallery, Parasite.
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The first Parasite, Raymond Jensen, makes his first appearance in Action Comics #340 (1966) (Cover Art by Curt Swan, George Klein, and Ira Schnapp). All iterations of Parasite have the ability to temporarily steal away anyone's energy, strength, and their knowledge. As I've said there have been other Parasites that Superman fought, the second and most recurring Parasite is Rudy Jones, the Parasite I'm more familiar with, who makes his first appearance in Firestorm #58 (1987).
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Cover Art by Joe Brozowski, Bruce Peterson, and Tom Ziuko Alex and Alexandra Allston the third and fourth Parasite (green Parasite and purple Parasite respectively) first appeared in the Adventures of Superman #633 (2004).
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Cover art by Gene Ha and Art Lyon
The latest Parasite, Joshua Allen, makes his first appearance in Superman #23.4 (2013).
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Cover art by Aaron Kuder and Dan Brown So yeah there are similarities between the Amazo robot and Parasite and it was smart of the MAwS team to just combine Ivo with Parasite to avoid redundancies. Besides the Amazo robot is more of a Justice League villain anyways.
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Near the end of the episode, after the Parasite suit wrecks Ivo's body, he begins to look more like his recent iterations in the comics now. The panel here is from Justice League of America #4 (2013) (W: Geoff Johns, P: Brett Booth, I: Norm Rapmund, C: Andrew Dalhouse, L: Rob Leigh). Hope you all had a wonderful time checking this post out. Like I said at the beginning my other MAwS easter egg posts are:
Episode 1 is here
Episode 2 is here
Episode 3 is here
Episode 5 is here
Episode 6 is here
Episode 7 is here and here
Episode 8 is here
Episode 9 is here
Episode 10 is here
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qpr-competition · 1 year
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WELCOME TO THE QPR COMPETITION
the matchups in round 1 are as follows
part 1:
Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens vs Peri Dubois and Abel Moreau from Entropic Float
Sonic and Shadow from Sonic the Hedgehog vs Joan Watson and Sherlock Holmes from Elementary
Camilla Hect and Palamedes Sextus from The Locked Tomb series vs Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist
John Watson and Sherlock Holmes from ACD's collection of stories vs c!Ranboo and c!Tubbo from Dream SMP
Arthur Lester and John Doe from Malevolent podcast vs Polly and Yaretzi from Hello From The Hallowoods
Abed Nadir and Troy Barnes from Community vs ART and Murderbot from The Murderbot Diaries
Team Rocket from Pokémon vs Mane 6 Ensemble from My Little Pony
Timothy Stoker and Sasha James from The Magnus Archives vs The Doctor and The Master from Doctor Who
part 2:
Jesse Cosay and Lake from Infinity Train vs Joe Tazuna and Sara Chidouin from Your Turn To Die
Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney vs Kris and Susie from Deltarune
Oscar Wilde and Zolf Smith from Rusty Quill Gaming vs Mollymauk Tealeaf and Yasha Nydoorin from Critical Role
Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee from Lord Of The Rings vs Loid Forger and Yor Forger from Spy X Family
Hunter and Willow Park from The Owl House vs Arepo and God Of Arepo from Tumblr Folktales
Sakuko Kodama and Satoru Takahashi from Koisenu Futari | Two People Who Can't Fall In Love vs Compton Boole and Cassie O'Pia from Psychonauts
Lapis Lazuli and Peridot from Steven Universe vs Kazuki Kurusu and Rei Suwa from Buddy Daddies
Nepeta Leijon and Equius Zahhak from Homestuck vs The Scooby Gang from Scooby-Doo
see you at 6 pm GMT 17th February for the first half of the first round!
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The Contestants
Cherik (Professor X/Magneto) - X-Men
Fuffy (Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Megop (Optimus Prime/Megatron) - Transformers
Curtwen (Curt Mega/Owen Carvour) - Spies are Forever
Thoschei (The Doctor/The Master) - Doctor Who
Perryshmirtz (Perry the Platypus/Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz) - Phineas and Ferb
Catradora (Adora/Catra) - She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Soukoku (Osamu Dazai/Chuuya Nakahara) - Bungo Stray Dogs
c!TnTDuo (c!Quackity/c!Wilbur Soot) - Dream SMP
Spy/Supervillain - Genghis Khan by Miike Snow
Batman/Joker - Lego Batman
Wrightworth (Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth) - Ace Attorney
Batjokes (Batman/Joker) - Batman
Lawlight (L/Light Yagami) - Death Note
Bowiugi (Bowser/Luigi) - Mario
Stanarrator (Narrator/Stanley) - The Stanley Parable
Kidlaw (Eustass Kid/Trafalgar Law) - One Piece
Shuake (Goro Akechi/Akira Kurusu) - Persona 5
Cuttletavio (Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio) - Splatoon
Gethan (Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Zosan (Roronoa Zoro/Sanji) - One Piece
ChellDOS (Chell/GLaDOS) - Portal
Jesus Christ/Judas Iscariot - The New Testament
Gwensuzie (Gwen Cooper/Suzie Costello) - Torchwood
Krisnix (Phoenix Wright/Kristoph Gavin) - Ace Attorney
Griffguts (Guts/Griffith) - Berserk
Hannigram (Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter) - Hannibal
Ghiralink (Ghirahim/Link) - Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Valvert (Javert/Jean Valjean) - Les Miserables
Abestache (Detective Abe Lincoln/Wilford Warfstache) - Markiplier Cinematic Universe
Sasunaru (Naruto/Sasuke) - Naruto
Jedediah/Octavius - Night at the Museum
Nami/Kalifa - One Piece
Gabv1el (V1/Gabriel) - Ultrakill
Kazumaji (Kazuma Kiryu/Goro Majima) - Yakuza
Zukka (Zuko/Sokka) - Avatar: The Last Airbender
Ineffable Husbands (Aziraphale/Crowley) - Good Omens
Billford (Bill Cipher/Stanford Pines) - Gravity Falls
Evelyn Deavor/Elastigirl - Incredibles 2
Jennifer Check/Needy Lesnicki - Jennifer’s Body
Kigo (Kim Possible/Shego) - Kim Possible
Sportarobbie (Sportacus/Robbie Rotten) - Lazy Town
Swan Queen (Emma Swan/Regina Mills) - Once Upon a Time
Hardenshipping (Magma Leader Maxie/Aqua Leader Archie) -Pokemon OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire
Westley/Inigo Montoya - Princess Bride
Sonadow (Sonic/Shadow) - Sonic the Hedgehog
Plabs (Plankton/Mr. Krabs) - SpongeBob SquarePants
Kylux (General Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren) - Star Wars
Johnchurch (Merle Highchurch/John Hunger) - The Adventure Zone: Balance
Basigan (Professor Ratigan/Basil of Baker Street) - The Great Mouse Detective
LonelyEyes (Elias Buchard/Peter Lukas) - The Magnus Archives
Johnjack (Jack Harkness/John Hart) - Torchwood
Blicy (Bloom/Icy) - Winx Club
Riddlebat (Batman/The Riddler) - Batman comics
Shin Soukoku (Atsushi Nakajima/Ryuunosuke Akutagawa) - Bungo Stray Dogs
Snowbaz (Baz Pitch/Simon Snow) - Carry On
Komahina (Nagito Komaeda/Hajime Hinata) - Danganronpa
Wonder Woman/Cheetah - DC
Spamvil (Jevil/Spamton) - Deltarune
Rk1000 (Connor/Markus) - Detroit: Become Human
John McClane/Hans Gruber - Die Hard
Fenders (Fenris/Anders) - Dragon Age 2
Vegekaka (Goku/Vegeta) - Dragon Ball Z
Rapple (Apple White/Raven Queen) - Ever After High
Billdip (Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines) - Gravity Falls
Radiostatic (Vox/Alastor) - Hazbin Hotel
Sirdust (Angel Dust/Sir Pretious) - Hazbin Hotel
Fengqing (Feng Xin/Mu Qing) - Heaven Official’s Blessing
Blitzer (Blitzø/Striker) - Helluva Boss
Martha May Whovier/Betty Lou Who - How the Grinch Stole Christmas
ZaDr (Zim/Dib) - Invader Zim
Sarumi (Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki) - K Project
Metadede (King Dedede/Meta Knight) - Kirby
Gandalf/Sauron - Lord of the Rings
Island Husbands (Ben Linus/John Locke) - Lost
Metromind (Megamind/Metro Man) - Megamind
Sherliam (Sherlock Holmes/William James Moriarty) - Moriarty the Patriot
Bujeet (Buford/Bajeet) - Phineas and Ferb
Grovyle/Dusknoir - Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time, Darkness, and Sky
Shassie (Shawn Spencer/Carlton “Lassie” Lassiter) - Psych
Rayaari (Raya/Namaari) - Raya and the Last Dragon
Tycutio (Mercutio/Tybalt) - Romeo and Juliet
Sherliam (Sherlock Holmes/James Moriarty) - Sherlock
Obikin (Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi) - Star Wars
Obimaul (Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul) - Star Wars
Oncelax (The Onceler/The Lorax) - The Lorax
Owen Harper/Mark Lynch - Torchwood
Lord Hater/Wander - Wander Over Yonder
Gelphie (Elphaba/Galinda) - Wicked
Cruellanita (Cruella de Vil/Anita) - 101 Dalmations
Angelo Lagusa/Nero Vanetti - 91 Days
Discotrain (The Conductor/DJ Grooves) - A Hat in Time
Klapollo (Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice) - Ace Attorney
Wrightdot (Godot/Phoenix Wright) - Ace Attorney
Kaneda/Tetsuo - Akira
Sydney Bristow/Lauren Reed - Alias
Ellen Ripley/The Xenomorph - Alien
Zadison (Zoe Benson/Madison Montgomery) - American Horror Story: Coven
Sterling Archer/Barry Dylan - Archer
Y’all (The Poll Takers)/Me (The Poll Maker) - askeletonwar
Just Walk Out!/Papyrus - askeletonwar
Londo Mollari/G’kar - Babylon 5
Rampage/Depth Charge - Beast Wars: Transformers
Pinariz (Riz/Pina) - Beastars
Kunieda Aoi/Hildegarde - Beezlebub
Sebagrell (Grell/Sebastian) - Black Butler
Gus Fring/Walter White - Breaking Bad
Spangel (Spike/Angel) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spuffy (Spike/Buffy) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Winteriron (Tony Stark/The Winter Soldier) - Captain America: Civil War
Stucky (Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes) - Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Carulia (Carmen Sandiego/Julia Argent) - Carmen Sandiego
Macavity/Munkustrap - Cats (1998)
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Hero/Villain - dannyphantom.exe
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Maxwil (Maxwell/Wilson) - Don't Starve
Nikki/Mackenzie - Dork Diaries
Gell/Frisky - Dot X
Dr. Horrible/Captain Hammer - Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
Count Dracula/Jonathan Harker - Dracula
Joan Watson/Jamie Moriarty - Elementary
Zerxus Ilerez/Asmodeus - Exandria Unlimited: Calamity
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Gary/John - Faith
Peter Griffin/The Chicken - Family Guy
John Crichton/Scorpius - Farscape
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Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth - Final Fantasy VII
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Willry (Henry Emily/William Afton) - Five Nights at Freddy’s
Victor Frankenstein/The Monster - Frankenstein
Cure Peach/Eas - Fresh Pretty Cure!
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Kagehina (Hinata/Kageyama) - Haikyuu!
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HEY, WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO SING ME A SONG?
Okay I'm not sure if I should post the song because it's pretty heavy, I'm not sure if people would want to listen to it, and I know the lyrics contain some statements which would be pretty bad if John C. Wright heard them and didn't approve.
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danbensen · 1 month
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from my Patreon
All Men Dream of Earthwomen and Other Aeons by John C. Wright - a rich and generous stew of stories, tied together by a theme of transhumanism and its downsides. My favorite story is "The Last Report on Unit Twenty-Two," where I think that theme shines brightest. Imagine an asteroid-mining cyborg with a cloned human brain, sculpting interplanetary rock into little copies of itself: babies it is incapable of having.  
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falcqns · 5 months
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you'll be alright (no one can hurt you now) chapter four
✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Lucy Chen & Tamara Colins, Tim Bradford & Lucy Chen, background Tim Bradford x Lucy Chen
✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Lucy goes on her first date since taking in Tamara. Tim nearly loses his mind when she doesn’t show up for her first scheduled shift back on time.
✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: canon divergence, (eventually) autistic!Tamara, Tim Bradford would do anything for Lucy Chen, Lucy is a hardcore swiftie, Day Of Death (im so sorry) near death experience, kidnapping, hospitals, being buried alive, Caleb Wright, mentions of Rosalind Dyer, yknow the usual DOD warnings, 
don’t forget to read and reblog, and i do not give permission for my works to be posted anywhere other than tumblr. thank you.
A/n: im so sorry for this I hate this episode so much, but it is important to Lucy’s character development and who she is as a person and a cop and I don’t want to change that so we’re going to have to suffer through DOD together. I won’t be going into detail about Lucy’s POV, so I will be doing the majority of this chapter from Tim’s perspective. There’s a bit of a time jump (4 weeks) but not much has changed in Lucy and Tamara’s world. 
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Tim yawned as he adjusted his badge as he walked out of the locker room. He glanced at Nolan and West standing by the door to Grey’s office, talking to him with concerned looks on their faces. Tim thought it was weird, but then he remembered that Lucy was coming back to work today, and he promptly forgot. He made his way to the break room and poured himself a black coffee into his travel mug, before leaving and heading into the break room. 
As he made his way down, he thought about Lucy and how excited he was for her to be back. The last5 4 weeks without her had been filled with nothing but silence and boredom. While Tim would never verbally admit it, he had missed Lucy. He missed her voice, how she ranted about things happening in her personal life, or about drama (or ‘tea’ as she called it) that was happening around the station. He missed the scent of her chai tea latte filling up the shop, he missed paying for that extra meal on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, his days to pay. He missed her immensely, more than he thought he would, and he was very glad that she was back. 
Before he could open the door and wait for her, however, he was summoned into Grey’s office. He wrinkled his eyebrows and followed Grey into his office. He grew even more confused when he walked in, and saw Nolan and West sitting there, both looking uneasy and scared. 
“Whats going on, sir?” Tim asked. 
Grey looked at Nolan, who swallowed, and then spoke. “Lucy did not come home last night. She is not responding to texts or calls.”
“Where did she go?” Tim asked, and Jackson spoke up next. 
“She went on a date. She was supposed to come to my apartment,” Jackson said, before side glancing at both Grey and Nolan. “She was going to spend the night with me and then we were going to come to work together, as I live closer. But when I woke up, she wasn’t there. Neither was her car, and I have been trying since 7:30 am to get a hold of her.”
Fear swirled in the bottom of Tim’s stomach. “Who did she go on a date with?” 
“C-Caleb Wright.” Nolan said. “With a ‘W’.” 
Tim nodded. “Okay.” He said, pondering possibilities in his head briefly. “Is it possible that she’s just running behind and her phone is dead?” 
“Well, we thought of that but-“ Jackson said, but John cut him off.
“If she’s just running late and we ring the fire alarm, she’ll get dinged, but-“ 
“If we don’t, and something terrible happens…” Tim interjected, thoughts trailing off. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, his attention turning to Grey.  “What do we do?”
“Well, what do we know about this Caleb guy?” 
“Nothing.” Jackson said, shaking his head. “No, he uh-, he said that he worked for a medical supply company. Lucy showed me a video of him playing with a puppy.” 
Grey nodded. “Okay. Bradford, take West and run a background check. I want to know everything you can find on Caleb before we knock on his door.” He said. “And find Armstrong.” 
Tim nodded. “Right. Come on,” He said, motioning for West to follow him.
He heard Grey talking to Nolan about having him and Nyla run a trace on Lucy’s phone, in order to get her into the MUPS and NaMos systems that the LAPD used. 
As Tim and Jackson made it to Armstrongs office, where the detective was just settling in for the day, Grey walked out of his office, and called for everyones attention. 
“Everyone listen up,” He said, and the room fell silent. “Officer Lucy Chen has not been seen for approximately 13 hours. Given the circumstance, we cannot rule out abduction,” He said, and Tim breathed deeply, trying to control the nausea that he was feeling. 
His rookie was potentially missing. The person he was responsible for training, and for keeping safe while out on the streets. The person that was, even now, the best rookie he had ever trained, and ever will train. His Lucy could be missing, and he didn’t know what to do other than to focus, and do whatever Grey told him to do in order to find her. 
“So stop whatever you’re doing.” Grey continued. “I want everyone on this until she’s located.” He said, before turning to an officer. “Notify S.O., see if they can shag calls for service. 
Tim turned his focus to the computer that Armstrong was using as Nyla walked up to Grey. He overheard her say that the GPS on her phone was disabled, and he began to hyper focus on the words on the screen. He was no help to anyone, much less Lucy, if he was panicking. He had to remain calm, and get the background check like Grey had ordered him to. 
“Caleb Wright doesn’t seem to exist.” Armstrong said, concern evident on his face. 
Tim’s anxiety grew. What was going on? Tim shook his head and walked around the desk to look at the computer screen. 
“That’s impossible,” He said. “I saw his social media page.”
“Well, it’s gone now, so he must have erased it.” Armstrong said. “But if he is our guy, then he’s already faked one identity.”
“Bryan Coleman,” West chimed in. 
Armstrong nodded. “Exactly.” He agreed, pointing at Jackson. “He stole his life to gain access to the old zoo. Used it’s isolation to kill his victims,”
Tim nodded, understanding where Armstrong was leading. “But with that place burned, he’s gonna need new killing ground.” The though of Lucy being his next victim made his stomach churn, and his heart thud painfully in his chest. He couldn’t lose her. She had changed him so much already in their short time together, and he wasn’t ready for her 13 months with him to be up, much less to never see her again because she was murdered. He had to save her, but it angered him that he didn’t know how. He didn’t know the true identity of who took her, where she is, the state that she’s in, or if she’s even still alive. And that thought killed him. 
Armstrong nodded at Tim. “My guess is that he already has one, and thats where Lucy is right now.” Armstrong picked up the phone, and Tim nodded at West, motioning to the door. 
“Lets go.” He said, and Jackson lead them out of his office and towards the stairs. 
“If we don’t find her-“ Jackson started, but Tim stopped, and turned to look at him. 
“Don’t.” He said, cutting him off. “Don’t go there. If she was taken by him, the only way that you are good to her is if you are focused solely on saving her, not playing worst-case scenarios.” 
Jackson nodded, gulping. “Right.” He said. “Sorry. I’m just worried.” Tim nodded. 
“I know. I am too.” He admitted, and almost laughed at the shock evident on the rookie’s face. “But, we need to focus on her. This is not about us and how we’re feeling. This is about finding her, and saving her before it’s too late.” 
Jackson nodded. “Okay. You’re right. What do we do now?” He asked, and they continued their journey down to the main floor. 
“We go and tell Grey what we know, and wait for further instructions.” 
“Okay. Is it okay if I just run to the bathroom quick?” Jackson asked, and Tim nodded. He could tell that Jackson was starting to panic, and needed a moment alone to collect himself. 
“‘Course.” He said. “Meet me in his office when you’re done.” Jackson nodded, and Tim watched him walk towards the bathroom. Tim was about to turn to walk to Grey’s office, when he saw Jackson pull his phone out and make a call. He stopped, watched him for a moment, but decided not to eavesdrop on his call. If it was important to finding Lucy, he knew West would fill him in. If it wasn’t, it was personal, and Tim could honestly care less. 
He walked into Greys office, and Grey immediately stopped what he was doing to look up at him. “What did you find out about Caleb?” 
Tim shook his head, his hands on his hips. “He doesn’t exist. It seems to be an alias. And we figure that if he’s already faked one identity,” He said, and paused when the door opened. Jackson walked in and Tim looked at him, silently asking if he was good. Jackson nodded, and Tim continued speaking. “If he’s faked one identity already, then it has to be Bryan Coleman.” 
Jackson picked up where Tim left off. “We speculate that he used his identity to gain access to the old zoo, and used to the isolation to his benefit to kill his victims, but since we’ve found that spot already, he has to find somewhere new.”
“And that’s where Lucy is.” Grey finished, his head nodded. “Alright. Nolan and Harper are on their way back to the hospital after talking to the victim we saved yesterday. Go take 5, and we’ll reconvene in the briefing room when they’re back.” 
“Yes, sir.” Tim and Jackson said at the same time. They left the office, and Jackson headed left, towards the front door, presumably to wait for Nolan. Tim however, went and sat in the briefing room. 
He didn’t want to take 5. He wanted to be on the streets, knocking on doors, finding out where Lucy was. He wanted to find her and bring her home. He wanted to find her, and make sure that she knew that no matter how tough he was with her; no matter how many Tim Tests he puts her through, he cared about her, and he wanted nothing more than for her to be safe. She needed to be home. She needed to be at the station with him, not being held somewhere unknown by a serial killer’s protege. 
He blinked back tears in surprise as his foot tapped against the floor, watching the minutes slowly tick down. Why was he crying? Tim Bradford rarely cried, not because he didn’t find things sad, but because he didn’t allow himself to.  The last time he fully allowed himself to break down in tears was the drive home from serving Isabel with divorce papers. He couldn’t let himself cry over Lucy, especially now. If he did, it would mean revealing his weakness, and he wasn’t ready for that yet. He wasnt ready for the looks, the whispers, the questions. The higher ups asking his nature of his relationship with Lucy. He couldn’t do that. Not to himself, and especially not to Lucy, who wasn’t even a P2 yet. So, he swallowed the lump in his throat, and sniffed, blinking away the tears.
He had barely blinked away the last tear when Armstrong came into the room, and walked up to the whiteboard that had all of the important facts about Lucy and her disappearance. 
“The bartender at Las Torres recognized Lucy and Caleb.” He said, and Tim sat up straighter, hope beginning to build in his chest. “The good news-“ he continued. “Theres a security camera in the parking lot, so we know that they left at 9:05. The bad news?” Armstrong clicked on the monitor in the room to reveal the footage of Caleb leading Lucy out of the bar by her upper arm. “The camera angles too steep to recognize faces.”
Tim sighed, shaking his head. All he wanted, all anyone in this room wanted was to find Lucy, but it seemed that at every turn so far, the universe was working against them. And Tim hated it with a passion. Tim let a breath out from his nose, attempting to calm the burning fury in his body. There wasn’t a lot that made Tim angry enough to feel the need to fight God, but someone he lo- no, cared about, being in any sort of pain was certainly enough. 
“Two minutes later,” Armstrong resumed speaking. “This car drove by.” Tim watched as a grey car drove through the frame, and Tim sighed, knowing that Lucy was most likely inside of it. 
“The licence plate on Caleb’s car was reported stolen earlier that day,” Grey said, looking between the room and the images on the monitor. “Officer Chen’s care was found in the alley where she left it last night. Which means, we believe that Caleb is Rosalind’s protege, and he took Officer Chen.” 
Tim sighed in disappointment. He knew that what they were saying was the truth, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Tim picked up the rapid breathing of his heart, and the anxiety fluttering in his stomach, a silent threat of the possible reappearance of his breakfast. But, before he could spiral fully, Grey caught his attention again. 
“I know how upsetting this is, but we have to remain focused. She’s counting on us.” Tim heard Grey ask if there were any questions, but Tim didn’t stick around to find out. He walked out of the room, pulling his phone out as he walked. 
He dialled Angela’s number, and breathed, knowing his best friend would be able to sense the shakiness of his voice no matter how hard he tried to hide it. 
“What’s up?” She answered casually. 
“Hey. Lucy’s been taken. I need you.” He said simply, and waited for her response. The line was silent for a moment before Angela spoke again. 
“On my way.” Tim hung up the phone and stuffed it back into his pocket, walking back into the briefing room. 
When he re-entered, Nolan was up at the front, relaying the information that he and Harper had gotten from the other victim at the hospital. 
“Nora was abducted two nights ago.” He said. “We found her 18 hours later, already tattooed, and about to be put in a barrel to be suffocated. This makes Caleb’s timeline from abduction to death approximately 24 hours.” Tim’s hands shook listened.
“Which means we have less than 10 hours to find Lucy.” Jackson said, his face portraying everything Tim was feeling. 
“Unless we’re wrong, and she’s dead already.” Armstrong stated casually, and Tim dug his nails into the palm of his hands to prevent himself from punching Armstrong for even thinking to suggest such a stupid idea. No, she was alive, but they needed to find her before she wasn’t anymore. 
“No,” Harper interjected. “Look, I know I haven’t known Lucy as long as the rest of you, but I do know she is a fighter.” She said, glancing back at Tim briefly. “She’s gonna do everything she can to stay alive until we save her.” Tim nodded in agreement, watching as people filed out of the room, but Tim remained rooted to his spot, staring at her picture on the whiteboard. 
He needed her safe. He needed her by his side, where he knew she was alive, and okay. He didn’t know how he was going to get through these next few hours, but he knew that he had to do it so that his rookie, his Lucy, would be safe. 
He suddenly found himself sitting down next to Jackson, answering calls, when Angela walked into the station, Wesley trailing behind her. 
“Hey,” he said, standing up to greet her. “Thanks for coming in.” 
“Of course,” She said, looking to the side of her, and seeing the phones that him and Jackson, and two other officers were manning. “Grey’s got you on tip lines?” 
Tim nodded. “Nothing says we got squat like listening to the public.” He looked up at Wesley. “Day off?”
Wesley nodded, not making eye contact with Tim. “Yeah, something like that.” Tim looked at him suspiciously, but let it go. “Can I help?” 
Tim crossed his arms. “Whats your tolerance for cranks and asshats wasting your time?” 
Wesley shrugged. “I’m a public defender.”
Tim nodded his head to the phones. “Have at it.” 
“This is useless,” Tim said, turning to Angela as Jackson spoke to Wesley. “We should be on the streets kicking down doors.”
“Who’s doors?” Angela asked, a concerned look on her face. 
“I don’t know,” He answered honestly. “But I-I can’t just sit here.” He stormed away, desperate to do something, anything, to bring Lucy home. 
Of course, Angela being Angela, followed after him. “Wait up!” 
Tim rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, just blowing off steam.”
“I get it,” Angela said, following after him. “But you got to get your head in the game.”
Frustrated, Tim turned around to face her. “I don’t need a pep talk.” 
“Then why’d you call me?” She demanded. “Clearly, you need to get something off of your chest.”
Tim sighed. “This is my fault.” He answered, looking down at his shoes. 
“What?” Angela asked. “How?” 
“The day I came back from my leave, I went to her apartment after shift. No one would tell me anything about why she was off. I questioned her, but she wouldn’t tell me. Something was going on, and I should have pressed her more. I should have been there for her, I’m her training officer for gods sake. I should have known something was wrong.”
Angela took a step closer. “Tim, she didn’t tell anyone. All we know about her leave is what Jackson and John have been permitted to tell us. Something happened, and she needed time off to deal with it. That doesn’t make you a bad training officer. You did all you could.” She explained. 
“I could have done more.” Tim stated, before turning to walk away. 
“What is it about her?” Angela asked, making Tim stop in his tracks. 
“What?” He asked, turning around, confusion all over his face. 
“Look, I’ve known you since before you became a TO. You’re hard on your rookies, but you’re also fiercely protective over them. But with Lucy, you are more over protective than you have with any other rookie. You’ve honestly been quite lenient on her so far. So, what is it about Lucy that makes you feel like you should have prevented this? That you should have protected her better, or been there for her more? You’ve always said that you’re their training officer, not their friend. What is it about Lucy that changed that for you?”
Tim shook his head, before looking up at Angela. She’d been his best friend for years. He could never hide anything from her, even if he wanted to. He knew that she would instantly see through whatever bullshit answer he would give her, so he decided to be truthful. As much as he could be with himself, anyways. 
“She turned around and smiled at me.” He said, his voice quiet and shaky. A crease formed on Angela’s forehead, showing her confusion. “Her first day, when Grey said she was paired with me, she turned around, and smiled at me. I don’t know what it was, but she’s got this grip on me, and I don’t know why. I don’t know how to not care about her this much.” He said, a stray tear, falling from his eye as he spoke. 
“Tim…” Angela said quietly. “Tim, I think you know why.” Tim shook his head immediately, knowing what she was getting at. 
“No,” he responded. “Thats not it. She’s my rookie, I would never cross that line.” 
Angela smiled sadly. “I know you wouldn’t. That doesn’t mean your heart doesn’t still want her.”
Tim shook his head, trying to protest, but his face betrayed him, crumpling as he fought to stop the sob clawing its way out of his throat. Angela didn’t say anything, just pulled him into her arms, and held him as he cried. 
“We’re going to find her,” She said eventually. “Whatever it takes.”
—- 
An hour later, and Tim had calmed down. His sadness and anxiety was now replaced by anger. Anger that was stronger than before, and made him want to burn the world to ashes just to find her. And that’s exactly what he was going to do. 
“Problem officer?” 
Tim wasted no time in reaching through the open window, grabbing a fistful of the Benjamins hair, and slamming his face onto the steering wheel. 
“You listen to me very carefully,” He spat. “Your name is Benjamin Lassie. You’re a mid level idiot who controls every illicit item that enters the Central California Women’s Facility. And today is your day of reckoning.” He squeezed tighter. “Now, I am responsible for a life that is in jeopardy, and I will do whatever I have to to save her. Do you understand?” He demanded. 
“Theres a man who gives you items to smuggle onto death row for Rosalind Dyer. You are gonna give me that man.” He continued. 
“Why would I do that?” Benjamin demanded. 
Tim squeezed even tighter. “Because if you don’t, I will pull you inside out.” He threatened, and he then watched with a sickening satisfaction as Benjamin saw his life flash before his eyes, and spit out the name; Jerry Havel.
Tim smiled, released Benjamin, and sent him off with a threatening look that told him Tim would follow through with his threats if he said a word about what just happened to anyone. 
Jackson then shakily followed him back to the shop, and as soon as he shut the door, Tim was speeding back to the station while Jackson typed his name into the computer to do a background check. 
“Any information you get, you text it immediately to Lopez.” Tim said in a calm tone, feeling bad for scaring him.
“Yes, sir.”
—-
30 minutes later, Tim had managed to get a S.W.A.T. team and a no knock warrant together, ready to raid Jerry Havel’s place. Tim followed behind S.W.A.T. as they moved in on Havel’s place. 
They paused briefly at the door, before busting it open, and running inside. “Go, go, go!” One of the S.W.A.T. member said as Jerry began to run. Another officer shot him in the right shoulder, and he fell to the ground on his face. 
Tim ran up to him, Jackson following behind. He grabbed him, and turned him over. “Where’s Lucy?” His heart dropped into his stomach when he realized that the man he was faced with was not Caleb. “That’s not - that’s not Caleb.” He said, moving away from the man in front of him. “Damn it!” he yelled in frustration. 
He tried to control his breathing as Jackson took over, yelling at the man about his name, and where he worked. Tim looked back at Jerry, who told them through stuttering that his name was in face Jerry Havel, but he had never worked at that prison, and had been on disability for the last five years after an inmate shivved him during a riot. 
“Look, DOC clearly states that you work at that prison.” Jackson said. 
Jerry sighed and looked down. “My identity was stolen.” He said. “Right around 3 years ago. Really screwed up my credit.” 
Tim nodded, making the connections in his head. “Caleb used Jerry’s identity to get into prison, get close to Rosalind.”
“Just like he stole Bryan Coleman’s identity.” Jackson finished as he holstered his gun. 
“Is this connected to the officer that was abducted?” Jerry asked. 
Tim nodded. “Yeah.” He said, tears welling up in his eyes as he spoke. “And you were our last shot at saving her.” 
Tim moved on auto pilot for the next hour. So much so, that he didn’t remember anything between leaving Jerry’s house, and arriving back at the station.  Once he arrived there, he was handing over a file that had a record of the credit card charges on the card that Caleb had used under Jerry’s name that Jackson had found. 
“Hey, hey,” He said, getting Angela’s. Grey’s, and Wesleys attention. “We got something.” He said, dropping the file on the table. “Caleb used Jerry’s identity to rent a post office box in Kern County, near the prison. But, he kept it up after he quit.” He explained, as Angela opened the file, and began pouring through the contents. “Still pays for it. He must have a place close by.” 
Angela grabbed a piece of paper, and read from it, comparing what was in the file with her own notes. “Rosalind’s family - her trust owns a farm in Kern County.” She handed him the paper that showed evidence of the farm. 
Before he knew it, he was in the stations helicopter, racing to Kern county with Angela, Grey, Jackson, with Nyla and John on the ground in a shop. 
When they landed on the farm in Kern County, Nolan told them that Caleb was dead, and that Lucy was buried somewhere on the property. Tim felt a sick sense of happiness knowing that Caleb was dead. He was gone, and now he could never touch a single hair on her head again. She was one step closer to being safe, and now all they had to do was dig her up before it was too late.
Nolan thrust a phone into Angela’s hands. Angela looked down, watching the video of Lucy inside the barrel. “I can’t even tell if she’s still breathing,” She said anxiously, looking up at Grey. 
“Spread out.” Grey commanded. Tim looked around, trying to find a good place to start looking. “Airship, we have an officer buried alive.” The panic that Tim had been desperately trying to keep at bay came bubbling to the surface, and his chest started to constrict as he looked at the open fields. He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to keep the tears at bay, but knowing at some point in the next few minutes, he would be crying. Either from relief, or grief. 
He took a moment to calm himself, repeating the words he had said to Jackson earlier in the day to himself in his head. “The only way that you are good to her is if you are focused solely on saving her, not playing worst-case scenarios.” 
He turned to look at the house briefly, before realizing that there was no way Caleb would have buried her close to the house. He turned to Jackson and explained, before summoning Jackson to follow him. He took off running as far as he could as fast as he could. 
A few minutes later, they came to the top of a hill. “Lets split up,” He suggested to Jackson. “You go left, alright?” Jackson nodded, and took off to the left. Tim continued forward, looking around for any possible sight that Caleb could have buried her. 
Then, as he was coming down the slope of another hill, something caught his eye. A sparkle, so bright it nearly blinded him briefly. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but then realized that there wasn’t much around there that could produce a sparkle like that. He took a step closer and looked again, finding the sparkle once more. He ran up to the spot the sparkle originated from, and fell to his knees in front of it. 
He scooped up the source of the sparkle, and could have cried right then and there when he realized what it was. 
Her ring. Her moonstone ring. 
He stood up, and began looking around in the dirt for any indication that she could be close. He began kicking dirt around, and stomping, hoping to God that she had dropped it on purpose, and it wasn’t another one of Caleb’s tricks.
But, when he stomped again, and heard the unmistakable sound of rubber on metal, he knew it wasn’t a trick. Lucy had left him a clue, and she was right there.
He stomped two more times just to be sure, but once he heard the clanging two more times, he turned around and shouted. “I’VE GOT HER!” He then pocketed the ring, dropped to his knees, and began digging with his bare hands. 
His hands ached after a few seconds, the sharp rocks in the sand cutting and digging into his skin, but his need to save Lucy, get her out of that barrel outweighed all of that. He was so close to her, he just needed to keep going. 
A few moments later, Nyla, Jackson, and Angela joined him in the digging, with the rest of the officers headed their way. The local PD joined in moments later, bringing shovels, making the process move quicker. The metal of the shovels hit the metal of the barrel, and Tim choked out a sob. 
“Guys,” He managed to say. “Right here.” He said as he reached forward for the latch on the barrel, pulling it towards him. It took two pulls, but on the second one the latch snapped, and the lid came off. 
He threw it behind him, and looked into the barrel.
There she was, hunched over, her curled hair laying over her back, tangled with dirt and blood. 
“Come on!” Tim yelled, and began pulling Lucy out of the barrel. Everyone joined in and helped him get her out and onto the ground. 
He touched her head softly once she was laid on the ground, and leaned in, listening for breathing. He heard Grey ask if she was breathing, but didn’t answer. When he heard no breathing, he cupped her chin and her forehead, breathing two rescue breaths into her mouth to help her lungs inflate. He then moved his hands to her chest and started compressions, watching her face for any sign of life.
As he did the compressions, all he could focus on was her. He got to her, now all he could do was hope he could restart her heart in time. The more compressions he did, the more desperate he became. Why wasn’t her heart starting to beat? Why wasn’t she moving, breathing, crying? Was she-
Lucy gasped in a deep breath, her body starting to shake. Tim cried out in happiness as her eyes fluttered open. He reached behind her and helped sit her up, cradling her to his chest when she burst into tears, curling towards his chest. 
“You’re okay,” He whispered to her, as he pulled her closer. As he held her, he noticed that all of the anger, pain, anxiety, and fear had disappeared. As soon as she took that gulping breath in, his body knew she was safe, that she was alive. 
“You’re okay,” He whispered into her hair. Even after all that she went through, she still smelled like herself, and it calmed Tim down even further. “You’re safe. I’ve got you. He can’t hurt you anymore.” He whispered as he cradled her head to his chest. 
He breathed deeply, letting the tears fall from his eyes. They got to her in time, and she was going to be okay. She was back in his arms, she was breathing, and was crying. All signs she was a survivor. 
——
Tim rode with her in the ambulance. When the paramedics had arrived on scene, she refused to let go of Tim, starting to go into a panic attack whenever someone tried to separate her from him. Once they had gotten her into the ambulance, and had taken her vitals, they gave her a sedative, and she fell asleep within a minute, still holding tightly to Tim’s hand. 
Tim held onto her hand the entire ambulance ride, and then helicopter ride back to St Stephens, his eyes locked onto the bleeding marks from where she had been bound at the wrists. He didn’t let go until they landed at St Stephens, and she was rushed into the back to be examined. 
He was shown into a waiting room, where he was told that Dr Sawyer would come and get him when he could see her. He was about to sit down, when his phone began to ring. He fished it out of his pocket, and answered it, briefly seeing Nolan’s name flash across the screen. 
“Tim,” John said as soon as he picked up. “Listen, I don’t want you to question what I’m about to ask you, I just need you to do it.” He said, and Tim, who was still in shock from everything, just agreed, and listened to what John had to say. “I need you to go to Mid Wilshire Childcare Centre. You need to go to the baby room and pick up Tamara Chen, and bring her to the hospital. Don’t forget your ID. You’re on the approved pick up list and I’ve called ahead, so don’t worry about any questions. There will be someone waiting for you at the front door to show you where to go, alright?” He said, and Tim, who was utterly confused now, nodded. 
“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, okay.” He said goodbye to John, and left the hospital immediately after informing the nurses that he would be back. He hopped in the shop, stopped by the station briefly to grab a carseat, and then hopped back in the shop. 
He pulled into Mid Wilshire Childcare Centre, and grabbed his drivers licence out of his wallet, before making his way to the front door. There was a middle aged woman waiting for him, a smile on her face. 
“Tim Bradford, I’m assuming?” She said, and Tim nodded. 
“Yes, ma’am.” 
The lady nodded. “I’m Martha, the chef here. If you follow me, I can show you to the baby room. I know you’re in a hurry.” She said. She turned, put a code into a key pad, and entered the building, Tim following behind her. As soon as they walked in, Martha turned right, and led him to the end of the hallway. They entered a small classroom with two educators, and 4 babies. 2 of the babies were playing in a water table, the other one was sitting at the table, eating banana, and a third one, who didn’t look older than a few weeks old,  being held in a rocking chair by another educator. 
“Tim, this is Ella, and Cara. Ella is Tamara’s primary educator.” Martha said, and Tim nodded to her. 
“Nice to meet you, Ella.”
Ella smiled. “You too, sir.” She said. “Tamara has had a really good day today. She slept well, drank both bottles, and enjoyed our walk we took them on.” She said, as she went over to the other educator, Cara, and took the small infant from her. 
She carried her over, and Tim blinked quickly, realizing that the small infant must be Tamara. “Okay, thank you.” Tim said. 
Ella smiled. “No problem. We will need some more wipes for her, probably in the next day or so.” Tim nodded. 
“Okay perfect. Is there anything else?” 
“Oh, yes.” Ella said, grabbing the binder off of the counter. “Could I just see your ID?” 
Tim nodded and handed it over. Ella compared the names before smiling and handing it back. 
“Thank you.” She said, putting the binder down. “If you follow me, I’ll show you Tamara’s things.” 
Tim followed Ella as she showed him her cubby, and handed him her backpack.
“Okay, you’re all set, we’ll see you later.” Ella said and Tim thanked her again before following Martha out of the building. 
“Have a good night,” Martha said, holding the door open for him. 
“Thank you, you too,” He responded, looking down at the small infant in his arms that apparently belonged to Lucy. 
“Okay, little one,” he said quietly, opening up the door to the shop, and buckling her in her carseat. “Let’s go see Mama, I guess.”
—-
When Tim walked back into the waiting room, he was greeted with Grey and Luna sitting together. They both turned to look at him when he walked in with the baby carrier, and Grey smiled. 
“Oh good,” Grey said. “You didn’t have any issues picking up?” He asked, and Tim shook his head no.
“No, sir. I guess Nolan called ahead because she was ready to go when I got there.” He said.
Grey chuckled. “You look confused, son.” 
Tim laughed quietly, sitting down, and placing the car seat at his feet. “I am very confused. When did Lucy have a baby?” He asked, as he bent down and got Tamara out. Tamara gazed up at him as he lifted her up, holding her head in one hand and bum in the other. 
“She didn’t,” Grey said. Tim looked at him, confused. Grey sighed. “Look, I’m going to tell you this simply because you need to know why you’re holding a baby that shares a name with your rookie.” He said, and Tim nodded. “When you were on leave for your GSW, Lucy was on patrol with Wrigley. She found a mother OD’d, just hours after having given birth to her.” He said, pointing to Tamara. Tim’s eyes locked onto the tiny infant while Grey spoke. 
“Lucy came with her to the hospital, and when DCFS showed up, Lucy asked to take her in, as she is an emergency foster parent. DCFS agreed, and that’s why Lucy went on leave.” He said, and Tim looked at him in shock. 
“Oh,” He said, stunned. 
Grey nodded. “Yep. Then, 4 weeks ago, she got a call from DCFS stating that they were unable to locate any of her family, and Lucy was given the option to adopt her.”
Tim smiled. “Which she took.” He said, running his thumb over her cheek.
Grey nodded, as Luna sat on the other side of Tim.
“Yes,” Luna said. “And she’s doing a terrific job as a single mother.” 
Tim smiled again, moving Tamara closer to his chest. “I have no doubt about that.” He said. “Gosh, she’s so beautiful.” He commented, as Tamara’s eyes fluttered shut. 
“That she is,” Grey said. “Look, please don’t be mad with Lucy over hiding this from you. She was just trying to protect Tamara.” 
Tim nodded. “I know, and I’m not. But I am going to tell her that I am going to help her, in anyway she needs. I’m her training officer, but also her friend, and I’m going to help her through this.”
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r0llerblad3 · 4 months
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UPDATED/REQUESTS/INTRO
Now…sorry for not posting lately! I have had writers block for some time now but I am no longer effected by it! I have so many story’s I wanna write 2 feed y’all so yea! Here’s a updated request bored and intro!
INTRO!
My name is Millo! I go by any pronouns but prefer she/her or he/him!
Not all posts I make are safe for minors and majority of them involve NSFW content!
That being said anything labeled with “ MINORS DNI “ means if you are under the age of 18 please do not interact with that post! But any other posts without it are suitable for all people! Do understand if you see a post not laced with the minors DNI, that doesn’t mean blood or other things aren’t in the post! !READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS!
Heads up! I have dyslexia so if words aren’t spelled correctly PLEASE DONT BASH ME FOR IT! I prefer to wright for female readers but if requested I will to trans/male readers! I mostly write cannon!Male x reader because that’s what I’m better at!
WHAT I WILL DO!
Smut
Fluffy
Angst
Any really anything else that isn’t in my no’s list!
WHAT I WILL NOT DO!
Any sort of toilet kink!
Pedophilia
Anything incest related! (I’m looking at some of THOSES resident evil fans and TMNT fans)
Anything zoophilia related! ANIMALS CANNOT CONSENT!!! (THIS DOSENT INCUDE TMNT BOYS! THEY ARE MUTANTS THAT CAN THINK AND SPEAK!)
And anything related in the necro areas!(THIS DOSE NOT INCLUDE ZOMBIE GHOST!)
CHARACTER LIST!
TMNT! (Nour please don’t bash me for this)
REMEMBER ANYTHING SMUT RELATED TO THESE CHARACTERS WILL BE AGED UP!
Any of the bayvurs boys!
ROTTMNT boys!
2012 boys!
1987 boys!
2003 boys!
2007 boys!
COD
Simon “ghost” Riley
Captain John Price
John “Soap” McTavish
Kyle “Gaz” Garrick
Keegan
Roach (I can’t remember his real name)
König
STARDEW VALLY!
Shane
Alex
Elliott
Harvey
Sebation
Sam
RESIDENT EVIL
Chris R.
Leon S. Kennedy
Albert Wesker
Jill V.
Rebeca C.
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amphibious-thing · 1 year
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OFMD Stede Bonnet as a Macaroni: Wealth, Gender and Sexuality in the 18th Century Fashion World
Historical Inaccuracy in Our Flag Means Death? Never!
Historical inaccuracy! I hear you cry. A Macaroni in 1717!?! It is true macaroni fashion was really a late-18th century fashion trend, seemingly reaching its peak in the 1770s. However Our Flag Means Death is nothing if not historically inaccurate. Stede’s costumes seem to take inspiration from across the 18th century rather than worrying about what would have actually been worn in 1717.
Early 18th century suits tended to have round necklines, loose-fitting sleeves with wide cuffs, long waistcoats that stoped just above the knee, and coats with full skirts just a little longer that the waistcoat.
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[Left: Matthew Prior, oil on canvas, c. 1713-1714, by Alexis-Simon Belle, photo credit: St John's College, University of Cambridge, via Art UK.
Middle: Matthew Hutton of Newnham, Hertfordshire, oil on canvas, c. 1715, by Johannes Verelst, photo credit: National Trust Images, via Art UK.
Right: William Leathes, Ambassador Brussels, oil on canvas, c. 1710-1711, by Herman van der Myn, photo credit: Colchester and Ipswich Museums Service: Ipswich Borough Council Collection, via Art UK.]
As the century continued we get standing collars and turned down collars but round necklines were still around as well, sleeves got tighter with smaller cuffs, the waistcoats got shorter and the coats lost their skirts.
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[Left: Thomas ‘Sense’ Browne, oil on canvas, c. 1775, by Nathaniel Dance-Holland, photo credit: Yale Center for British Art, via Art UK.
Middle: Sir Brooke Boothby, oil on canvas, c. 1781, by Joseph Wright of Derby, photo credit: Tate, via Art UK.
Right: David Allan, oil on canvas, c. 1770, by David Allan, photo credit: Royal Scottish Academy/National Galleries of Scotland (Antonia Reeve), via Art UK.]
Stede’s collars are inconstant some are rounded but others are turned down and Ed’s purple suit has a standing collar. Many of Stede’s coats have wide cuffs, but most have little skirt to them. His teal suit from the pilot has a bit of a skirt but its paired with a short waistcoat.
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Most of Stede’s waistcoats are short with the exception of his suits from both the wedding portrait with Mary and the the family portrait. Both suits are very straight giving him a boxy appearance and are pretty different from most of the suits we see him in.
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All in all I don’t think they were aiming for historically realistic clothes but with the collars, short waistcoats, and lack of skirts I get more of a late-18th century vibe.
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So what was a Macaroni?
A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1785), defined macaroni as follows:
An Italian paste made of flour and eggs; also a fop, which name arose from a club, called the maccaroni club, instituted by some of the most; dressy travelled gentlemen about town, who led the fashions, whence a man foppishly dressed, was supposed a member of that club, and by contraction stiled a maccaroni.
The macaroni club was said to have comprised of young men who had gained a taste for French and Italian textiles on their Grand Tour (a traditional trip taken tough Europe by upper class men when they came of age). The earliest reference to the club is from a letter from Horace Walpole to Lord Hertford on the 6th Feb 1764:
at the Maccaroni Club (which is composed of all the travelled young men who wear long curls and spying-glasses),
In his book Pretty Gentleman: Macaroni Men and the Eighteenth-Century Fashion World Peter McNeil suggest the club was actually Almack’s. Almack’s was a private club at 50 Pall Mall that was attended by prominent Whigs including Sheridan, Fox and the Price of Wales. (p52) While the name may have originated from the men at Almack’s it was soon used to describe any man who followed the associated fashion trends.
So what were these trends?
Hair
“Still lower let us fall for once, and pop
Our heads into a modern Barber’s shop;
What the result? or what we behold there?
A set of Macaronies weaving hair.”
~ The Macaroni by Robert Hitchcock
Probably the most iconic aspect of macaroni fashion was the hair. “It was the macaroni attention to wigs that caused most consternation” explains Peter McNeil. The macaroni hair “matched the towering heights of the female coiffure, with a tall toupee cresting at the centre front. The wig generally had a long tail at the neck (’queue’), which when folded double was called the ‘cadogan’, all of which required regular dressing with pomade and powder, sometimes in the colours of pink, green or red.” (p45)
The height of the macaroni hair was a point of particular fascination in macaroni caricature exaggerating it beyond what the macaroni were probably actually wearing. Compare below Tom’s hair in the satirical print What is this my son Tom to the self portrait of Richard Cosway, who was satirised by Mary Darly as “The Miniature Macaroni” (a reference both to his height and his career as a miniature painter).
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[Left: What is this my son Tom, print, c. 1774, published by Sayer & Bennett, via The British Museum.
Right: Self-Portrait, Ivory, c. 1770–75, by Richard Cosway, via The Met.]
The way Stede usually wears is hair is not particularly macaroni nor particularly 18th century for that matter. The exception to this is his wig from The Best Revenge Is Dressing Well though even this doesn’t have the iconic macaroni hight.
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Interestingly both Stede and Ed are wearing flowers in their hair. While there are certainly depictions of women with flowers in there hair I’m not aware of this being a trend in mens fashion at all. However macaroni were known for wearing large nosegays.
While the tall hair was certainly iconic not all macaroni wore their hair tall. Joseph Banks, who was satirised as “The Fly Catching Macaroni” by Matthew Darly, is depicted in his portrait with a fairly typical 18th century hairstyle. Its not the hair alone that makes a macaroni, it was just one aspect of the fashion.
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[Sir Joseph Banks, oil on canvas, c. 1771-1773, by Sir Joshua Reynolds, via Wikimedia.]
Suit
“If I went to Almack’s and decked out my wrinkles in pink and green like Lord Harrington, I might still be in vogue.” ~ Horace Walpole to Lord Hertford, 25 Nov 1764
Menswear of the period consisted of the same basic elements; shirt, stockings, breeches, waistcoat and coat. What differentiated the macaroni from others was the fabric, cut, colour and trimmings of the suit. “At a time when English dress generally consisted of more sober cuts and the use of monochrome broadcloth,” explains Peter McNeil “macaronism emphasised the effects associated with French, Spanish and Italian textiles and trimmings”. Popular amongst macaroni were brocaded and embroidered silks and velvets, sometimes further embellished with metallic sequins, simulated gemstones and raised metallic threads. Popular colours included pastels, pea-green, pink, red and deep orange. (McNeil, p30-32)
Far from wearing “monochrome broadcloth” Stede likes a “fine fabric” and dresses in a range of colours, we see him in teal, pink, purple, green, white, red, peach &c.
Tightly cut French style suits known as habit à la française were popular with macaroni. (McNeil, p14) Stede’s suits vary somewhat in cut but some are very French. The peach suit Stede wears in We Gull Way Back particularly has a very macaroni feel to me. Compare it to the English suit (left) and the French suit (right).
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From the back you can see the English suit has more of a skirt to it.
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Both Stede’s suit and the French suit are somewhat plain but have been paired with a floral embroidered waistcoat, while the English suit has a matching plain black waistcoat.
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[Left: English suit, wool, silk, c. 1755–65, via The Met, number: 2009.300.916a, b.
Right: French suit, Silk plain weave (faille), c. 1785, via LACMA, number: M.2007.211.47a-b.]
Fabric covered button’s were common in the 18th century, you can see them on both the French and English coats above. In contrast Stede wears a lot of metal buttons. Steel buttons were popular amongst macaroni, a trend that was satirised in Steel Buttons/Coup de Bouton.
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[Steel Buttons/Coup de Bouton, print, c. 1777, by William Humphrey, via The British Museum.]
Pumps and Parasols
“Maccaronies who trip in pumps and with Parasols over their heads” ~ Mrs Montagu
High heels had been popular amongst men during the 17th century. The Royal Collection Trust explains:
In the first half of the 17th century, high heeled shoes for men took the form of heeled riding or Cavalier boots as worn by Charles I. As the wearing of heels filtered into the lower ranks of society, the aristocracy responded by dramatically increasing the height of their shoes. High heels were impractical for undertaking manual labour or walking long distances, and therefore announced the privileged status of the wearer.
(Royal Collection Trust, High Heels Fit for a King)
In 17th century France Louis XIV popularised red-heels by turning them into a symbol of political privilege, which in turn spread the fashion to England. But with the sobering of menswear in England around the turn of the century the high heel and the red-heels went out of fashion. (see Bata Shoe Museum Toronto, Standing TALL: The Curious History of Men in Heels)
The high heel had a bit of a resurgence in the 1770s with macaroni fashion. The Natural History of a Macaroni snipes that the macaroni’s “natural hight is somewhat inferior to he ordinary size of men, through by the artificial hight of their heels, they in general reach that standard”. (Walker’s Hibernian Magazine, July 1777, p458)
Red-heels were reintroduced to England by young men returning from their Grand Tours. A young Charles James Fox (satirised by Mathew Darly as “the Original Macaroni”) wore such French style red-heeled shoes. The Monthly Magazine recalls a young Fox as a “celebrated “beau garçon” with “his chapeau bras, his red-heeled shoes, and his blue hair-powder.” (Oct 1806) and The Life of the Right Honorable, Charles James Fox recalls him in his “suit of Paris-cut velvet, most fancifully embroidered, and bedecked with a large bouquet; a head-dress cemented into every variety of shape; a little silk hat, curiously ornamented; and a pair of French shoes, with red-heels;” (p18) And in Recollections of the Life of the Late Right Honorable Charles James Fox B.C. Walpole recalls him as “one of the greatest beaus in England,” who “indulged in all the fashionable elegance of attire, and vied, in point of red heels and Paris-cut velvet with the most dashing young men of the age. Indeed there are many still living who recollect Beau Fox strutting up and down St. Jame’s-street, in a suit of French embroidery, a little silk hat, red-heeled shoes, and a bouquet nearly large enough for a may-pole.” (p24)
Compare the French style red-heeled shoes of Louis XIV to Stede’s red-heeled shoes.
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[Left: detail of Louis XIV, oil on canvas, c. 1701, by Hyacinthe Rigaud, via Wikimedia.]
However most macaroni were depicted wearing the more standard late 18th century low-heeled bucked shoes. Where they distinguished themselves was the size and decoration of the buckles. “Such buckles could be set with pate (lead glass) or ‘Bristol stones’ (chips of quartz), or diamonds if you were very rich.” Explains peter McNeil, “The new macaroni fashion was for huge silver or plated Artois shoe buckles which the Mourning Post claimed weighed three to eleven ounces.” (p90)
While certainly not as iconic has his heels Stede also wears these sorts of shoes. Compare below the shoes from a macaroni caricature to Ed wearing Stede’s shoes (I couldn’t get a good shot of Stede wearing them).
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[Left: detail of How d'ye like me, print, c. 1772, published by: Carington Bowles, via The British Museum.]
“A great many jewelled accessories accompanied the macaroni look”, writes Peter McNeil, “They included hanger swords, very long canes, clubs, spying glasses and snuff-boxes.” (p68) Tragically we don’t see Stede with a fashionable dress sword or a cane but we do see him with another accessory popular amongst macaroni; a parasol.
Popular in France parasols/umbrellas were adopted by the macaroni. They were popular amongst both men and woman in France but in England they had a feminine connotation. (McNeil, p129) In the 1780s as umbrellas became more popular amongst men there was a cultural pushback to the perceived gender transgression. On the 16th of August 1780 the Morning Post complains of of the “canopy of umbrellas” bemoaning that “the effeminacy of the men, inclines them to adopt this necessary appendage of female convenience”. On the the 4th Oct, 1784, the Morning Chronicle published a letter complaining of “that vile foppish practice of sheltering under a umbrella”. The author of this tirade writes that while “the ladies should be allowed to secure their beauty and persons from the heat of the sun, or the inclemency of the weather,” because “it is natural, and has a striking effect”, that “to see a great lubberly cit, bounce from his shop, with a coat, hat, and wig that are not together worth one groat,” sheltering “from the influence of the solar beam” was “intolerable.” However:
The macaroni being of the doubtful gender, may in part claim a feminine right; his dress is too delicate to bear an heavy shower, perhaps his person is so too; but a coach, if a clean one is to be found would serve his purpose much better, as there would be less likelihood of his being washed away into the kennel, which he deserves to be kicked into for his d-----d affectation.
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Wealth
Born from rich young men returning from their tours with a taste for French and Italian textiles macaroni fashion was expensive. Certainly a working class man would not be able to afford Stede’s wardrobe. Both the sheer amount of clothes he has as well has the fabrics those clothes are made of are indications of wealth. However to say that Stede’s wardrobe is only an indication of wealth would be missing part of picture.
Most rich upper class English men (including colonial) wore plain monochrome suits. Even amongst the gentry macaroni fashion was not the norm. Compare bellow George Washington (left) who was a wealthy planation owner, but notably not a macaroni, to Richard Cosway (right) who was a famous macaroni.
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[Left: George Washington, oil on canvas, c. 1796, by Gilbert Stuart, via Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts.
Right: Detail of The Academicians of the Royal Academy, oil on canvas, c. 1771-72, by Johan Zoffany, via The Royal Collection Trust.]
In spite of the expense macaroni fashion was not exclusive to the upper classes. “Macaroni dress was not restricted to members of the aristocracy and gentry,” writes McNeil, “but included men of the artisan, artist, and upper servant classes, who wore versions of this visually lavish clothing with a distinctive cut and shorter jackets. Wealthier shopkeepers and entrepreneurs also sometimes wore such lavish clothing, particularly those associated with the luxury trades, such as mercers and upholsterers -” (p14)
It was possible to copy certain aspects of macaroni fashion on a cheeper budget. The hairstyle in particular was achievable without braking the bank. And there were ways to replicate the effects of certain expensive fashion trends for cheeper prices. For example patterns could be printed rather than embroidered.
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[Left: printed waistcoat, cotton, c. 1770–90, via The Met, number: 35.142.
Right: embroidered waistcoat, silk, c. 1780–89, via The Met, number: 2009.300.2908.]
The Town and Country Magazine complains “we now have Macaronies of every denomination, from the colonel of the Train’s-Bands down to the errand-boy.” (McNeil, p169) The Morining Post mocks macaronies that couldn't financially keep up with the trends:
The macaronies of a certain class are under peculiar circumstances of distress, occasioned by the fashion, now so prevalent, of wearing enormous shoe-buckles; and we are well assured that the manufactory of plated ware was never known to be in so flourishing a situation.
(14 Jan, 1777)
In 18th century England, class was about more than just how much money you had. It was about pedigree. “English society was particularly alert to those whom it felt were using clothes to achieve a social status they did not merit” explains McNeil. Richard Cosway was a famous macaroni from modest background. Born to a Devonshire headmaster he was sent to London to study painting at 12. He became a very successful miniature painter and grew rich from the patronage of the Prince of Wales (later George IV) and Whig circles. In Nollekens and his Times J.T. Smith writes of Cosway:
He rose from one of the dirtiest boys, to one of the smartest of men. Indeed so ridiculously foppish did he become that Mat Darly, the famous caricature print-seller, introduced an etching of him in his window in the Strand, as ‘The Macaroni Miniature Painter’
(McNeil, p105-14)
But it was not only the Darlys that satirised Cosway Hannah Humphrey mocks Cosway as a social climber in A Smuggling Machine or a Convenient Cos(au)way for a Man in Miniature which depicts him standing under the petticoats of his much taller wife Maria. In the background there is a picture of Cosway climbing a ladder that rests upon a woman (she is believed to either be Angelica Kauffman or the Duchess of Devonshire). Below this reads:
Lowliness is Young Ambitions Ladder, Whereto the climber upward turns his Face But when he once attains the upmost round He then unto the Ladder turns his back, Looks unto the clouds - scornin [sic] the base degrees By which he did assend. Shak. Jul. Caesar.
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[A Smuggling Machine or a Convenient Cos(au)way for a Man in Miniature, print, c. 1782, by Hannah Humphrey, via The British Museum.]
Another famous macaroni not born into the aristocracy was Julius Soubise. Brought to England from the West Indies as a slave he was taken in by Catherine Hyde, the Duchess of Queensbury. She gave him a leisured childhood, in which he was taught to play and compose for the violin, was taught to fence by Domenico Angelo, and learned oration from David Garrick. “Macaroni caricatures of Soubise parodied a foppish upstart whose outfits and entertainments, financed by the Duchess, affronted both racial and social expectations of an African male.” Writes Petter McNeil, Soubise was satirised as “a Mungo Macaroni” an “offensive term meaning a rude or forward black man.” (p118)
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[Left: A Mungo Macaroni, print, c. 1772, by Matthew Darly, via The British Museum.
Right: The D------ of [...]-- playing at foils with her favorite lap dog Mungo after expending near £10000 to make him a----------*, print, c. 1773, by William Austin, via Yale Center for British Art.]
The expense of Stede’s wardrobe is a key part of the narrative. Stede has nice fancy luxurious things. Ed wants nice fancy luxurious things. Ed was born a poor brown boy and while he may be rich now he can never truly change his class. He could be as rich as Richard Cosway or Julius Soubise but to the gentry he will always be that poor brown boy.
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Gender
As we have already seen in the tirade against men using umbrellas the macaroni was perceived as being of “the doubtful gender”. (The Morning Chronicle, 4 Oct, 1784)
The Natural History of a Macaroni writes that there “has within these few years past arrived from France and Italy a very strange animal, of the doubtful gender, in shape somewhat between a man and monkey,” that dresses “neither in the habit of a man or woman, but peculiar to itself”. The author states that “they are in no respect useful in this country”:
that the minister of the war department would give orders to have them enlisted for the service of America: we do not mean to put them on actual duty there. Alas! they are as harmless in the field, as they are in the chamber, but they may stand as faggots to cover the loss of real men.
(Walker’s Hibernian Magazine, July 1777, p458-9)
A “faggot” being “A man who is temporarily hired as a dummy soldier to make up the required number at a muster of troops, or on the roll of a company or regiment.” (see OED)
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[The Masculine Gender & The Feminine Gender, etching with touches of watercolour, c. 1787, Attributed to Henry Kingsbury, via The Met.]
The macaroni wasn’t just considered effeminate because of the way they dressed but also because of their interests and the way walked and talked. Famous for playing fops and macaroni, the actor David Garrick did a lot to establish the character of the macaroni in the public mind. In his poem The Fribbleriad Garrick mocks the men who were offended by his performances asserting, perhaps accurately, that they were offended because it was them he mocked. He portrays a group of angry effeminate men meeting in order to seek revenge on him for his portrayal of them:
May we no more such misery know! Since Garrick made OUR SEX a shew; And gave us up to such rude laughter, That few, ’twas said, could hold their water: For He, that player, so mock’d our motions, Our dress, amusements, fancies, notions, So lisp’d our words, and minc’d our steps,
The macaroni had become more than simply an effeminate man, he had become a new sex. Something not quite man or woman. Something in-between. A new description of a macaroni asks the question:
Is it a man? ‘Tis hard to say - A woman then
          - A moment pray -
So doubtful is the thing, that no man
Can say if ‘tis a man or woman:
Unknown as yet by sex or feature,
It moves - a mere amphibious creature.
(McNeil p169)
Sexuality
Much like today in the 18th century effeminacy was associated with homosexuality. Men who had sex with other men were known as mollies. A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (1785), defined a molly as “A Miss Molly; an effeminate fellow, a sodomite”. In the History of the London Clubs (1709), Ned Ward characterises mollies as follows:
There are a particular Gang of Wretches in Town, who call themselves Mollies, & are so far degenerated from all Masculine Deportment or Manly exercises that they rather fancy themselves Women, imitating all the little Vanities that Custom has reconcil’d to the Female sex, affecting to speak, walk, tattle, curtsy, cry, scold, & mimick all manner of Effeminacy.
“By the 1760′s,” explains Peter McNeil, “too much attention to fashion on the part of a man was read as evidence if a lack of interest in women”. (p152) 
Macaroni were often portrayed as incapable or simply uninterested in sexual relations with women. This attitude is expressed by Mr. Bate in the following dialogue from The Vauxhall Affray; Or, the Macaronies Defeated:
Mr. Fitz-Gerall: I always though a fine woman was only made to be looked at.
Mr. Bate: Just sentiments of a macaroni. You judge of the fair sex as you do your own doubtful gender, which aims only to be looked at and admired.
Mr. Fitz-Gerall: I have as great a love for a fine woman as any man.
Mr. Bate: Psha! Lepus tute es et pulpamentum quæris?
Mr. Fitz-Gerall: What do you say, Parson?
Mr. Bate: I cry you mercy, Sir, I am talking Heathen Greek to you; in plain English I say, A macaroni you, and love a woman?
Mr. Fitz-Gerall: I love the ladies, for the ladies love me.
Mr Bate: Yes, as their panteen, their play-thing, their harmless bauble, to treat as you do them, merely to look at
While lack on interest in woman does not necessarily mean attraction to men, Matthew Darly takes the implication there in his 1771 set of macaroni caricatures which induces a print entitled Ganymede, a reference to Zeus’ male lover of the same name. Ganymede is believed to be a parody of Samuel Drybutter who had been arrested for attempted sodomy in January 1770. Darly also includes the character Ganymede in Ganymede & Jack-Catch. Jack-Catch is a reference to the infamous English executioner John Ketch. In the print Jack-Catch says, “Dammee Sammy you’r a sweat pretty creature & I long to have you at the end of my String.” Ganymede replies, “You don’t love me Jacky”. Jack-Catch is holding a noose with one hand and stroking Ganymede’s chin with the other. Jack-Catch is soberly dressed in typical 18th century menswear, while Ganymede’s dress is distinguished by his lace ruffles and styled wig. The print is not only suggesting that macaroni are sodomites but making a joke of the execution of them. The punishment for a sodomy at this time in England being death by hanging.
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[Left: Ganymede, print, c. 1771, Matthew Darly, via The Met.
Right: Ganymede & Jack Catch, print, c. 1771, Matthew Darly, via The British Museum]
An anonymous letter to the Public Ledger (5 Aug, 1772) says blatantly what others had already implied. “The country is over-run with Catamites, with monsters of Captain Jones’s taste, or, to speak in a language witch all may understand, with MACCARONIES”. The writer warns macaroni who have “escaped detection” as sodomites and “therefore cannot fairly be charged” that they have not avoided suspicion:
Suspicion is got abroad-the carriage-the deportment-the dress-the effeminate squeak of the voice-the familiar loll upon each others shoulders-the gripe of the hand-the grinning in each others faces, to shew the whiteness of the teeth-in short, the manner altogether, and the figure so different from that of Manhood, these things conspire to create suspicion; Suspicion gives birth to watchful observation; and, from a strict observance of the Maccaroni Tribe, we very naturally conclude that to them we are indebted for the frequency of a crime which Modesty forbids me to name. Take warning, therefore, ye smirking group of Tiddy-dols: However secret you may be in your amours, yet in the end you cannot escape detection;
Bows on His Shoes
18th century shoes were typically buckled, laces and ribbons were simply unfashionable. As mentioned previously macaroni were distinguished by the size and decoration of the buckles. So are Stede’s bows simply ahistorical? Well there are references to 18th century men wearing laces and ribbons.
Towards the end of the 18th century laces started to come into fashion. Appeal from the Buckle Trade of London and Westminster, to the Royal Conductors of Fashion (1792) complained that despite how “tender and effeminate the appearance of Shoe Strings” the “custom of wearing them has prevailed.”
Perhaps the most intriguing reference is that of Commissioner Pierre Louis Foucault’s papers where he details the surveillance, investigation and entrapment of "pederasts” in Paris. It is important to note that the word “pederasty” was used synonymously with “sodomy” in the 18th century and did not denote age simply sex. An Universal Etymological English Dictionary (1726) defines “A pederast” as “a Buggerer” and “Pederasty” as “Buggery”.
Foucault and the men working with him identified particular clothing worn by men seeking sex with other men that he called the “pederastical uniform”. In Foucault’s papers men are described as being “attired in such a way as to be recognized by everyone as a pederast”, “clothed with all the distinctive marks of pederasty”, or simply “dressed like a pederast”. This “uniform” generally included “some combination of frock coat, large tie, round hat, small chignon, and bows on the shoes.” Jeffrey Merrick in his article on Foucault speculates that these men dressed this way to signal to each other. However when questioned by police they would understandably deny such a purpose, one man when questioned about his outfit responded that everyone “dresses as he sees fit”. (Jeffrey Merrick, Commissioner Foucault, Inspector Noël, and the “Pederasts” of Paris,1780-3)
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Conclusion
I’m not saying Stede is intended to be a macaroni. If that were the case they would have given him the iconic macaroni hairstyle. However the costuming team has clearly pulled from fashion trends that were associated with effeminacy and homosexuality. While OFMD is evidently wholly unconcerned with creating period accurate costumes the costumes are still clearly inspired by historical fashions. Perhaps the curtains really are just blue but maybe Stede wears bows on his shoes because he’s gay.
196 notes · View notes