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levihantrash · 2 years

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Chapter 8: Freedom || Shitty Comics and Their Shitty Artists || levihan fanfiction (final chapter!)

hey, wanna read this shitty fic? seems like it's about us

Summary:

Levi’s pragmatism pulled the brakes. “I’m not about to dedicate my life to become a broke comic artist.”

Levi Ackerman, a gruff cleaner with an appetite for toilet humour meets the unabashedly friendly creative writing professor, Hange Zoë, who somehow ropes Levi into working on a comic with them. While the comic’s title remains undecided, Hange knows that it’s going to be set in a world where giant, human-like creatures devour other humans. Erwin Smith, the comic’s self-appointed editor, unironically thinks it’s going to be a hit. All Levi knows is that he wants to indulge in drawing this comic while hanging out with a certain writer who just won’t stop talking to him.

Where Hange, Levi, and Erwin are the creators of Attack on Titan.

---

If you want to check out the previous chapters:

Chapter 1: Free Bread (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 2: New Friends (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 3: Bean (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 4: Good Actors (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 5: Titan Tears (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 6: Sober Confessions (ao3 / tumblr )

Chapter 7: Scaredy Cats (ao3 / tumblr)

-----

Chapter 8: Freedom

It was as though the dispute never occurred. Or maybe it did, and with unfailing conviction, the two of them decided to work on their differences.

“… I’ll go clean your dirty ass toilet.” Armed with a familiar mop, Levi looked about ready to enter into a cleaning storm.

“I said rest, Levi!”

“I like cleaning,” he replied, easily sidestepping Hange’s body blocking his way. Stealing a quick peck on his lips, Hange felt the loosening of his fingers and slipped the mop out of his hand.

“I know you do.” Hange smiled. “But I would like it more if you didn’t break another arm.”

So Levi camped in Hange’s room and drew comics until his lower back ached. Hange found him, head lolling on the top of the chair.

“Hey.” No response. Hooking one arm below his knees and one around his back, Hange lifted Levi onto their bed. He barely stirred.

“So much for being a light sleeper.” Hange chuckled, returning to the desk.

On the desk were remnants of Levi’s hard work—a few sketches of the latest chapter. By now, the story had progressed towards the death of Ehrwin, the charismatic commander of the Survey Corps. The final charge against the Beast Titan.

“Give up on your dream and die.” Rivaille was in a kneeling position in front of Ehrwin, grim and exhausted. Ehrwin’s expression caught Hange’s eye. It was wistful, melancholic, and…grateful? Hange had only written the dialogue for this chapter, but had yet to add descriptions of the character’s emotions and internal state.

In the margins, Hange found Levi’s own notes on the scene: Although Ehrwin had been a confusing little shit throughout this chapter, Rivaille’s still harsh here, huh? Even though I think it was the best choice. Didn’t know how Ehrwin would react. I figured he would be glad to die at this point, so I drew him with that serene face. Maybe regretful that he can’t find the basement in the end. Glad that this was the final mission he had as the commander of the Survey Corps. Relieved that only Rivaille would know that he was a coward. Rivaille made him forget he was a commander—that he is only as courageous as most human beings. Maybe you intended for Rivaille to say it with more anger? In my opinion, it might be out of character for him to shout at Ehrwin at this point. The weird hopefulness in a hopeless situation makes me think that Rivaille’s going to kindly, in his own way, encourage Ehrwin to do what he does best. To lead.

“Levi, you should be a writer…” Hange murmured, taking a quick seat and grabbing a pen to write more notes.

“You’re back…” Levi was now turned onto his side, eyes still half-closed.

“Hi. Didn’t want to wake you up!”

Pushing himself up, Levi grunted, “I’m already awake.”

“I read your thoughts.”

“Just some shit I wrote.”

“It is very useful insight.”

Hange knelt down by the side of the bed. “Courage, huh?”

“Yeah?” Levi’s head had a curious, stubbornly vague tilt to it.

“In a way I’m glad. That we found each other.” In a way, their fears complemented each other. Both of them were afraid of loss—the loss of someone close to them. The loss of trust—in the world’s ability to be predictable, in the world’s ability to be kind.

“Why?”

Tonight, Hange didn’t feel like explaining. Fresh out of their heated argument, the one thing they missed was to sink into bed.

“Just because.”

Knowing Levi wouldn’t be satisfied with their response, Hange spooned him, whispering, “even the fearless need rest.”

And the case was put to rest for the night.

-----

Months later, Levi had already counted more deaths than characters he could actually remember, which disturbed him greatly.

“Why do so many people die in this comic?” Levi asked, frown deepening.

“It’ll all make sense in the end,” Hange said, dismissing the concern.

Levi disagreed. “People dying never makes sense.”

Hange’s movements slowed. Their eyes met, engaged in a telepathic, silent match of persuasion. To his surprise, they agreed.

Chapter 126 was when Levi refused to draw the sacrifice of Hanji in the comic. In the end, he chose not to draw out the death of Hanji explicitly, drawing her in the afterlife instead. Hange approved of the artistic choice.

“Dedicate your heart…” Levi threw a sidelong glance at Hange, uncertainty evident. “How did you imagine Rivaille when he said that line?”

Hange chewed on the pen tip. “You know how the scouts do the salute? They put their fist to their chest. But instead of putting it on his chest, he puts it on Hanji’s.” Hange, without taking their eyes off Levi, mimicked the motion, fist on Levi’s chest. They feel his heartbeat. It gains momentum, steadily.

“Does he look at them when he says it?” Levi asked, still staring at Hange’s fist. His throat felt scratchy, irritating, pulsing insistently into a lump.

“No.”

“Why?” His throat remains congested, making it harder to form longer sentences.

“Because he’s looking down.”

“Does Hanji look at him?”

Hange found themself struggling harder to articulate anything. “No.”

“Why?” Levi’s tone got more desperate, eyes shining.

“Because Hanji is looking straight ahead.”

His hands curl over their fist. “Why?” The tone clamps down on Hange’s heart, and they feel a permanent splinter wedged in their chest.

“Because that’s all they’ll have left. His heart.”

“Why?”

“Because if they look at him, they won’t be able to go.”

Gritting his teeth, Levi all but let out, “but Rivaille lets them go.”

“Yes.”

The same reluctant question arose. “Why?”

“Because…” Hange faltered. “Because he knows. How much they want to stay.”

In the end, he chooses not to draw out the death explicitly, drawing Hanji in the afterlife instead. Hange approved of the artistic choice. They silently flip through the pages of drawings, noting that all the dialogue bubbles were empty. Rather than filling them up, Hange grabbed Levi’s chair, swivelling it towards them. Almost limp, he watched them, like he was seeing right through them.

“Levi. I’m not dead.”

“I know.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to stay.” Hange pressed their head on his lap, closing their eyes. Fingers comb through their hair in practised, almost nervous strokes. Staying like this—him hunched over, his nose in their hair, while they blink back tears.

“Why are we crying over art?” Hange let out a watery, trembling chuckle.

Breathing Hange in, their whole presence, their thankfully clean scalp, was a holy motion for Levi. “Is it art if you don’t feel something over it?”

“You sentimental bitch.” Their mouths search for each other in the moonlight, piecing together an uncomfortable truth that they have yet to settle on.

That, it will hurt to say goodbye. Not today, but someday. That they’ve become important to each other, more than a chapter in each other’s lives. More than a series, more than a deadline. Something fleeting, bone-deep, and precious all at the same time.

-----

The night before their final submitted draft was plainly speaking, ordinary. “Do you think people will be satisfied with this ending?”

“Dunno.” Levi is fiddling with Erwin's phone, wiping its edges with a tiny alcohol-soaked cloth. Routine gestures of friendship. Willingly, he would've done the same for Hange but they refused to let him touch their phone, for reasons. Omitting the fact that their phone screen wallpaper is a photo of him in an apron preparing their daily lunch set, lips sucked in in concentration.

“What about us?”

“Huh?”

“What will our ending be?”

Wordlessly, Levi took their hand and they ran. Who knows where—across the streets, across campus, across a large field and until they were far enough—they collapsed on the ground. Hange was exhausted, and Levi was looking the happiest he had ever been.

“Why… are we… running?” Hange panted breathlessly, absolutely spent on the grass. Clearly, they had left Erwin in the dust, with a cleaner phone screen.

“Because we’re free.” He breathed in the cool nature, relishing in the moment.

Hange perked up. “Sounds like a good line to add—”

“Enough about the comic, four-eyes.” He leaned in to kiss her, one time, and many more times after, later, tomorrow, in the future.

“We’re finally free from drawing another bloody titan. Next time, we’re going to do a slice of life comic.”

Squinting at the sunlight peeking through the leaves, Hange lazily sat up, shaking the debris from their hair. “What will it be about?”

The thought of watching Hange under the lampshade of the sun was beautiful. The reality overwhelmed his eyes, and Levi, in life’s many random, bizarre, touching moments, felt his eyes blur.

“How a cleaner met a writer who changed his life.”

“How romantic.” Their next words held weight, and Hange was determined to let them shine through.

“But you forgot to add that the writer’s life was changed too—by an artist.”

Interrupted sounds of crunching leaves entered the scene. Still, Levi, sitting amidst dirt, white shirt peppered with grass, blinking back his emotions, was something Hange had to hardwire in their grainy, long-term memory. Erwin, who had strode after them in an annoyed huff, sank under the shade with a somewhat childish pout. “And nobody remembers the professor?”

Picking a fallen leaf from Erwin's golden nest, Hange grins so widely that their teeth reflect their sparkling enthusiasm. Not their typical energy-bursting stretch of their mouth, but a predatory smirk. “Oh they do—especially when the professor quits his boring job due to the influence and badgering of his two friends.”

Feigning aghast so that his handsome features almost comically express a two-dimensional disapproval, Erwin, in that deep velvety voice, chided, “Hange! Who told you I was quitting?”

-----

Even though Attack on Titan went on to be a bestseller, Levi continued being a cleaner in the school while working on other manga, and Hange continued being a professor. Their best student is Mikasa, whom they realized, also writes a lot of tragic romance stories in her free time. The one that was most popular in the literary magazine included a childhood friend kissing their decapitated friend’s lips.

“Did you just plagiarise—” Hange began, before Levi stole their attention by appearing in a fine, immaculate suit. The time for press conferences and interviews had come.

"Ehren was a mistake," Levi spoke, which then became the headline of the news conference. Instead of documenting Hange's takedown of the comic's burgeoning fascist community or speaking out against genocide, the reporter had chosen quotes that highlighted Hange's storytelling as a "convoluted mistake".

"I'm never speaking again," Levi promised.

When Levi was asked who his favourite character was, he thought of swerving to Ehren to derail the audience. Unable to bring himself to fully lie and have his bland seriousness be taken seriously, he articulated carefully.

"Hanji."

The interviewee, that cheeky bastard, asked with penetrating confidence, “Which one?”

He would like to think it was a product of late travelling nights, unsatisfying naps in stuffy airports, and being physically unable to shower for a 25-hour flight. With a casual finger pointed at Hange, they choke on their water and that short segment went viral. Erwin thought the publicity stunt was quite splendid and Hange never quite recovered from it.

"I'm never speaking again." Levi threw his phone, viral video still playing, onto the duvet.

"Did you mean it?"

"Yeah, I'm never speaking again." Levi covered his face with his arms, back flat against the bed.

"No, I meant your favourite character." Hange didn't look nervous, like they were waiting for a confession. More of a patient intrigue. Not the peeling of an onion, or a chest of hidden secrets. A simple desire to know without the pressure of revelation.

“You’re not just a fictional character on paper.” Levi let out, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, but I could surely fall in love with one.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised,” Levi conceded, finding it more and more natural to reach out towards Hange. For someone who thrived in solitude, Levi was beginning to find that he enjoyed the company. Namely Hange and Erwin, Onyankopon, Pieck, and occasionally Mikasa, and even more occasionally, Bean.

Before long, Hange had knocked, rang the doorbell, and thrown open the door that he didn’t even lock. The door to himself, a door he didn’t even know existed. Many years later, when he recounted this to Hange, they only hugged him tighter.

“I couldn’t just walk past that door.”

Levi’s eyebrow arched with curious scepticism. “You’re just sniffing out people to be friends with.”

“It’s true, and your door smelt like flowers and detergent!”

Till the end (of another arbitrary timeline), Hange and Levi never define their relationship to anyone. They never got married, never had kids, and lived their best lives creating comics with Erwin. Levi enjoyed the stability and slow pace of slice-of-life rom-coms much better, while Hange preferred the thrill of sci-fi. Erwin loved horror, a genre both Hange and Levi despised. Arguing that Attack on Titan is horror, Erwin was regretfully corrected by genre specialist Hange, “It’s dark fantasy and there’s a difference!”

-----

Writing is a lot about freeing yourself. But when writing becomes work, you are tied down with the same chains that inspired you.

I’ll have you know I didn’t know where I was going with this alternate universe with these two characters. Holding a lot of depth, yet simultaneously not having enough material to incorporate them into the main story more, it felt wasteful to relegate them to the corner. Readers have told me that Levi and Hange should have their own spin-off, and that Erwin died too early, and that Hange deserved their happy ending with their best friend. I think so too, but Attack on Titan, as centred as it was on love, is not supposed to be satisfying. Rather, a slap in the face, glasses flying, a trickle of blood from your nose from the impact, is how I envisioned the manga to be received.

If there were any characters that deserved to live out a future, where they struggle, have reasonable conflict, fall in love, and make friends that do not die young, it might be these three. They seem to fit well within the setting of real society, where in the absence of titans, warrants other kinds of theatrics and tragedies. From the lens of adults who are responsible for their own lives, this story is an indulgence of my own. Not to reimagine a cycle of hate in the birth of a tree; only a cycle of enduring, intense, lively companionship. For the one who died before he reached his dream, for him to once again give up a dream that had never been his. For the one who died, embodying hope, appreciating beauty in the worst horrors of humanity. For the one who lived, carrying the burden of strength, seeing the spirits of comrades who sacrificed for an impossibly idealistic cause. For the three of them, to find each other again, I believe, is a worthwhile portal to experiment.

Maybe this is just a shitty story. Maybe the word “shitty” will sound amateur, misunderstood, like Levi’s coarse language. Maybe Erwin will find “shitty” to be a refreshing break from propriety. Maybe Hange will take it all in, in jest of high-art. The title, however, is really what I like about this work. No obligation to be special, to stand out. Just another shitty spin-off from a shitty, overworked artist.

If you are truly free, I will suggest running to the nearest patch of grass, shouting with all your might. Sad to say, I don’t think the chains ever leave an artist.

-Hajime Isayama.

#aot #levihan fanfiction #SCATSA #levihan #erurihan #levi x hange #levi hange erwin #college au #slice of life #ao3 #fanfiction #my writing #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #hange and levi #levi ackerman #hange zoe #erwin smith

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ikarakie · 3 months

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if a character means enough to me i will truly never stop thinking about them. i just retire them into a little back room in my brain and periodically bring them out to stare at them under a little light

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nadaboodraws · 6 months

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Reunited.

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happybird16 · 6 months

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The way he looks at all the friends he's lost

#aot spoilers #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #attack on titan spoilers #hange zoe #erwin smith #miche zacharias #petra ral

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skinofalien · 2 months

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Shinzo wo Sasageyo!

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incepstla · 6 months

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Shingeki no kyojin (2013 - 2023) Special 2 - First major appearances vs Last appearances

Thank you for all these amazing characters. ♡

End.

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moncherilim · 5 months

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Look at them

#hange zoe #hange zoë #levi aot #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot #moon #snk #snk erwin #erwin smith #aot erwin #commander erwin #commander hange

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hayakaws · 6 months

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the end ⚔️🪽

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homuras · 6 months

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farewells & reunions ～

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #snkedit #aotedit #mikasa ackerman #levi ackerman #armin arlert #eren jaeger #hange zoe #erwin smith #*gifs #*snk #mywork

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lazyexcuse · 5 months

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*Y/n and Levi training*

Levi, wiping the blood from his lips with a smirk: “Oh yeah? Is that the best you can do?”

Y/n, holding back tears: “Yeah actually, I’m trying really hard..”

Levi, standing up straight, shocked: “Oh.. ok.. hey— it’s ok—“

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kiwie-not-kiwi · 28 days

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I’m very happy to introduce you my new button badges collection ! 🎉 They will be available in my shop very soon !! It was so good to draw everyone safe, happy and reunited ! 🥰☀️

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levihantrash · 2 years

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Chapter 7: Scaredy Cats || Shitty Comics and Their Shitty Artists || levihan fanfiction

Summary:

Levi’s pragmatism pulled the brakes. “I’m not about to dedicate my life to become a broke comic artist.”

Where Hange, Levi, and Erwin are the creators of Attack on Titan.

---

If you want to check out the previous chapters:

Chapter 1: Free Bread (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 2: New Friends (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 3: Bean (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 4: Good Actors (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 5: Titan Tears (ao3 / tumblr)

Chapter 6: Sober Confessions (ao3 / tumblr )

-----

Chapter 7: Scaredy Cats

The workplace injury came as a shock.

An innocuous puddle of water, spilt by a student, outside the janitor’s closet, had caused him to slip and fall, fracturing his arm and leg.

What comes afterwards was less of a shock—Hange popping in and out of rooms with a flimsy clipboard and sheets of petition paper that read at the top:

LABOUR INJUSTICE: PAY OUR WORKERS FAIRLY AND PROVIDE PAID MEDICAL LEAVE

The feeling of once again being beholden to Hange’s insistent kindness unsettled Levi. He had (predictably) forced himself out of the hospital bed as early as possible, which had less to do with pride than the university covering none of the expenses. Injured limbs were economic liabilities that he did not want to pay for.

“Levi! What are you doing here?” Hange caught sight of him holding the sling that carried his bandaged arm gingerly, scowl deeply engraved.

“What are you doing?” Levi countered. The thought that Hange had started a whole campaign due to his momentary negligence left an acidity in his mouth.

“Don’t you dare think that this is your fault,” Hange said, reading his expression of guilt. Holding his arm carefully and uncapping a thick marker with their front teeth, Hange signed his cast with flourish.

Embittered, Levi gritted his teeth. “Why do you keep helping me? I told you. I don’t need your help.”

“What’s wrong, Levi?” Hange stretched out for his arm, just as Levi retracted it from their reach.

“I can take care of myself.”

Hange frowned, frustration starting to break through. “Do you feel indebted to me? Is that it?”

“I don’t need your help. What’s done has been done.”

Increasingly exasperated, Hange folded their arms. “I’m not just helping you, Levi! I’m helping other workers.”

“So you don’t care if I lose my job over this?”

“Well I—you’re not going to lose your job!”

The light scoff that came out of Levi grated on Hange's nerves more than they were aware of.

“Well you wouldn’t know about job precarity.” The accusation came out like an excuse, which sent a wave of guilt into Levi like a knife.

Hange was visibly hurt. “Now that’s just low.”

His gaze hardened. “You keep helping me. Doing all these things. Then you confess to me. Then you even campaign after I get injured.”

“What’s the problem?” Hange asked, attempting to get a grip on the derailing conversation.

“I’m just uselessly accepting your help.”

“You don’t have to do anything for me!” Hange exclaimed, louder than they intended to.

Levi looked pointedly at them.

“Try saying that to someone who has never received the amount of support that I have in the past ten months in the past ten years.”

Hange let slip their words, glazed by a history of disappointment. “Is this an ego thing? Do you want to prove your masculinity to me?”

There was a reaction of bewilderment from Levi, then resignation. “No Hange. It’s just me. I’m going to take the day off, like you told me to.”

“Fine.” A poisonous feeling twisted itself in Hange’s stomach. They stuffed down their anger, watching the back of Levi grow smaller in the distance.

-----

Hange's usual coping method whenever conflict arose was to work themselves to death; to give themselves no room for processing emotions. Nevertheless, in the gaps of silence, lingering thoughts of Levi surfaced. Hange had understood: his defensiveness, his pain, his seemingly transactional view of their relationship. But the fact that he insisted on that narrative—that he couldn’t owe Hange anything, like Hange was doing this to be a saviour—buried the good intentions Hange initially had to hear him out.

Meanwhile, even on his day off, Levi cleaned everything. Every surface: his own, the counters, the floors, even the walls. He knew there was no point in sleeping, so he went for a walk instead. He walked and walked and all he could think about was how Hange was likely sleep-deprived and may get into a car accident if they even attempted to cross the road. So he tried focusing his attention on other mundane things. Like the foliage that he appreciated at dawn, and the breeze of the evening that calmed him down on his walks home.

But the itch to connect everything to Hange didn’t go away. Each sway of the trees reminded him of how Hange would (pretend) to lose their balance and sneak a hand on his waist. Each crunch of the leaves under his boots gave off the sound of Bean scratching the chair, which in turn, gave him the image of Hange chiding Bean, only to give him a snack later on. Classic cat owner servitude. That’s why that brat never learnt.

Levi rubbed his temples, helplessly plodding in a seemingly random direction that led him to the doorstep of Hange’s apartment, sweating, and in his opinion, absolutely filthy.

Onyankopon and Pieck invited him in, no questions asked.

"They might be back for their things soon," Onyankopon said warmly, casting a meaningful glance at Hange's ajar bedroom door. What Levi didn’t notice was Onyankopon reaching into his back pocket to send a quick text to Hange.

-----

Pieck opened the door to a lanky professor—an-out-of-breath one, with one hand on their hip and the other holding onto the door frame for support.

“He’s in your room,” Pieck said mildly.

“Thanks Pieck,” Hange said, utterly drained and grateful.

Levi’s eyes flickered, adjusting to the light Hange had turned on.

“You’re back.” It pained Hange to see him sitting on the tiny wooden chair. He looked even tinier than usual. Almost gaunt.

“You’re here.”

Eyeing the much more comfortable bed next to him, Hange sighed. “You could've taken the bed."

"I wasn't planning on sleeping.”

“You should take a shower. You stink.”

“That’s bold coming from you.” The side of Hange’s mouth twitched in amusement.

“There's something more important than showering,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“I'm sure it can wait,” Hange insisted, almost desperate to avoid the impending conversation.

“No it can't.” He reached out towards them instinctively, faltered, and the hand fell back on his lap. It distressed Hange to witness the distance.

“I’m sorry Levi.”

“I’m sorry too.”

Hange laughed humourlessly, sitting on the floor, back to the bedside. “How did it come to this?”

“Fear,” Levi said, as though he had been waiting all night to provide some profound, hard-hitting wisdom.

"So we're just scaredy cats huh?”

Bean yawned, plodding into the space between them, preferring the softness of the bed after some contemplation.

"Mikasa told me... That you're scared of losing people again... I assumed it was because you were like so many other men..."

"I know. Pieck told me. Narrow assholes."

"Narrow assholes?" Hange asked cautiously.

"Their sphincters are giving out low-quality crusty shit." A small choke escaped Hange. The imaginative description of Levi’s insults never failed to touch and disturb Hange.

“I didn't ask you to explain the shit analogy."

The bed creaked to the side as Bean leapt off.

“So you’re afraid of loss?” Hange questioned gently.

Levi longed for the fluffy, warm body of Bean nonchalantly curled up by his side. Bean, ignorant of his affliction, licked its paws by the window.

When he spoke, he felt distinctly like it was a flimsy excuse. "Life is fragile. So are people."

A delicate pause passed by. "I think you're more afraid of receiving help."

Levi tone was even. "That’s a load of crap. I let you help me."

"Yeah, when I force it down your throat like I'm feeding you poison."

"You're one to talk.” His sardonic tone alerted Bean to his side, purring warningly. Levi’s eyes narrowed. Huh, so that cat did care about Hange.

Hange felt no such danger, scooting over with apparent annoyance. “I let my friends help me. You barely tell anyone your troubles. You try to solve everything on your own!"

“People die," To Levi, saying it out loud was a prophetic assurance that everything, everyone, will dissipate.

Hange, on the other hand, looked relieved. The weight of the conversation broke down into more manageable pieces that Hange could pick up, ask questions about, instead of confronting it as an immovable boulder.

"I hate to break it to you, but people die every day. Why let that stop you from living? Why let that stop you from living today, if people might die tomorrow?"

“Then what does living look like?” Resignation burned inside, even as an aching hopefulness prevailed.

“I think it starts with a kiss.” Levi couldn’t tell if Hange was joking or not, but their burnt cheeks told him otherwise.

It took all of Levi’s willpower to steer the conversation forward. "Not yet. Tell me. You’re afraid of judgement? Because of who you are?"

"No... I'm afraid of rejection. That you're going to take a second look at me and be disgusted. That you're going to find someone more' man', more 'woman', or so they claim. Someone that doesn't confuse them.” Hange’s eyes lost their shine, and their tall frame seemed shrunken.

Incredulity shot a renewed sense of energy into Levi. "That's bullshit.”

“Or you’re going to think I spend too much time working—I’m trying to work on that—and dump me for the next burnt-out professor.” A more plausible reason, Hange thought.

“I don’t have a professor kink.”

Hange’s snort breathed life back into the room. “That’s what you got out of what I said?”

Levi sighed, like the solution was as clear as day. “We work together, Hange. I’m not unaware of your working habits.”

“You’re going to get tired of me.”

“We can’t predict everything. We don’t even know what’s going to happen tomorrow.”

Hange, uprooted by the fact that Levi was speaking sense, replied dryly, "Says the person waiting for death's arrival."

Levi sighed, which was unusual. He would grunt, expressionless, but rarely did he show any sign of deadbeat exhaustion.

"It is exactly because I can't predict everything that it makes me scared."

Hange softened, their spiky defensiveness settling down. "Sorry, that was a bad jibe."

Levi accepted the apology without comment. Hange's words, rather than sharp, wore on their sleeve the grains of truth he had been content with avoiding. Now, with his toes in between the sand, it didn't feel half as bad. With a blaise gesture that contrasted with the caution he exuded, Levi held Hange’s gaze for an awfully long second.

“What you should know is that your love is not unrequited."

Taking in the brevity of how he resolved the tension, Hange let out a deep sigh. “I can feel that.”

Securing Hange with a firm, gentle hand behind their neck, Levi cracked out a wry grin.

“Good. So where’s my kiss?”

-----

The following week, Hange continued rallying the professors and students to pressure the university to pay workers more and provide medical leave. To no one’s surprise, Erwin’s benevolent charisma proved to be extremely useful to the campaign.

Even with their reassurance, Hange could sense Levi’s disbelief.

“You don’t think I’m just a writer who sits at their desk, who writes and ignores the world around them?”

“I thought you said books were revolutionary.”

“They are! Just that books alone cannot change the world, though. I’m aware of that. Not everyone is moved by books.”

“What about the comic we’re working on?”

Smiling faintly at how invested he was in the temporary halt of their collaborative project, Hange shook their head adamantly.

“You know I can’t stay out of action.”

“How can I help?”

Hange beamed. “You rest. You’ve done more than enough.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

Their arm looped around Levi’s, spilling out their admiration. “Despite what you said about minding your own business, I heard from the other cleaners this morning. You told the bosses that you won’t take a pay cut. And you won’t allow a pay cut for your other colleagues either.”

“I didn’t say that,” he grumbled, enjoying how tightly Hange’s arm had wound around his. “It’s a miracle they haven’t fired you.”

Hange let out a short laugh. “It’s a good thing this university cares about its reputation.”

Levi, acknowledging that Hange was risking their career, knew better to keep his mouth shut. He could easily find another job. It was probably harder to find another university to take in a whistle-blower.

“Be careful,” he said, without an ounce of sympathy or apology that would have only upset Hange. Hange, who would have done it regardless of whether it was him or the next person.

What Hange wouldn’t have done for a random injured worker was to spend every day by his side, sliding between impassioned disgust at the institution and grave concern for his well-being.

“It’s just a fracture,” he had reiterated. Still, Levi never told Hange to leave. Therefore, Hange stayed, patiently tilting cups of water for him to drink, wiping the sweat from his fringe, feeding him awfully bland hospital food, and more importantly, keeping him company in the dreariness of a hospital room. Naturally, Hange had pestered Levi that since he wouldn’t stop moving, his arm wouldn’t properly heal. Besides, the university’s hospital provided free medical care for all workers.

“They didn’t tell you this when you broke your arm?” Hange had asked, and Levi only sullenly shook his head.

The room reflected an appalling staleness that contrasted with his preference for the vitality of nature. Save for the flowers that sat by the window (once again, courtesy of the tenacious Hange), the room felt severe, lonely, and reminded him of the awfulness of his mother’s last days.

“Should I bring you more flowers?” Hange mused, picking up a stray petal beside the vase.

“Don’t waste your money.”

“It’s not a waste if it makes you happy.” Hange delighted in the stilted manner Levi drew the blanket higher with his un-casted arm as he called Hange a fucking embarrassment.

“I do want to make you happy, though.”

“Are you an idiot? You already make me happy.” Levi was getting better with expressing his feelings, at least to Hange, these days. Even if it was prefaced and seasoned with more foul, prickly language.

“Oh? How so?”

“You know how so.”

“I’m not a mind reader,” Hange insisted, looking over their shoulder to waggle their brows in the most endearingly irritating fashion.

The blanket by now was drawn so high it covered up to Levi’s chin.

“By being here. It makes me happy. Happy?”

“Best use of my leave,” Hange said, finally satisfied enough with the answer to return to their seat beside Levi. Tentatively, they lay their head on his chest, as Levi automatically brought his hand to their tired half-ponytail, loosening it further by dragging his fingers through it. The action never failed to soothe them, as Hange’s breathing slowed into a quiet slumber.

“Remember how we confessed that night?” Hange mumbled, the drowsiness sinking in deeper each time Levi smoothed his fingers into their hair.

“I don’t want to.”

“Oh, are you blush—”

“Hello, you two,” the gravelly voice of Erwin passed into the room, causing Hange to, with some dignity, straighten themselves back up on the chair. Levi nodded in his direction, reluctantly hiding his hands under the blanket.

Erwin strode in, obviously having witnessed their intimacy. “Keeping snacks under the blanket?”

“Can you get Hange something to eat?” Levi requested blandly. “Get them some fresh air too.”

“Levi, I don’t need—”

“Go, you haven’t left this room in hours except to pee and shit.”

“Neither have you!”

“I’m supposed to be here, resting. You’ve been talking my ear off. Go get some food and let me sleep.”

Uncharacteristically lost, Hange spluttered, “just say you care for me!”

“I do.” The tips of his ears tinted pink, but Hange was far too preoccupied with what they heard than what they saw.

“Levi!” Hange nearly screeched, quickly looking around as if caught in an illicit relationship. “That wasn’t part of the script!”

Levi merely smiled, which made it all the more terrifying.

“Just take them and leave,” he instructed Erwin.

“The patient’s word takes precedence,” Erwin said, gently hooking his arm with Hange’s to bring them to the nearest cafeteria. The serene posture that Levi had, so contentedly looking out of the window, bloomed a deep sense of relief in Erwin.

“Hange.”

“Huh?” Snatched out of their reverie, Hange unhooked their arm away from Erwin, ready to head back to the hospital room.

“Is there something on your mind?”

Slumping their shoulders, Hange scrunched up their eyes in frustration. “I feel like I’ll fuck it up.”

“There you go again, worrying about something that hasn’t happened.” Erwin was a sea of calm, which was what Hange wanted to cling onto. The dread muddled her insides, and even the sea couldn’t truly untangle it all.

“It did! We just had a…. misunderstanding.”

“And?” Erwin asked, knowing full well what the outcome was.

“We… talked it out. Eventually.” Hange was beginning to feel rather weak in argumentation.

A passing cloud of a smirk crossed Erwin’s lips. “Clearly.”

“But what if it happens again? There’s so much pressure to… make someone happy.”

“I don’t think Levi needs your help to be happy.”

“I don’t want to make him unhappy.”

Erwin’s eyebrows furrowed. “Unless I’m mistaken, he is happier than he has ever outwardly expressed. You are a joyous addition to his life, but it would be rather presumptuous to think he is betting his happiness on you entirely. You are, first and foremost, a dear friend to him.”

Footsteps approached the duo. Levi’s previous contentment had been replaced by his usual wariness and a healthy dose of sarcasm.

“What? Is Hange scared that I’ll die for them or something? Dedicate my heart to them in the name of the Survey Corps?”

“Levi! Why are you out of bed?”

“I broke my arm, not my leg. And both of you weren’t exactly inconspicuous.”

“If life was meant to be perfect, I would have my mother and you wouldn’t have homophobic parents.”

Crossing his arms, he continued, “besides, you’re so self-righteous when it comes to my rights, why not be courageous when it comes to our relationship too?”

“He has a very good point,” Erwin interjected.

“You’re right, Levi. I was overthinking again.”

Levi merely shrugged, back to his silent self. Hange caught the slight grimace he made when moving his right arm, immediately concerned.

“Let’s get you back to bed.”

“Not until you get some rest.”

“What if I get you to bed, then I’ll go get a quick bite with Erwin?”

“Erwin, you have to make sure something enters their stomach.”

Erwin figured this was karma for the time when Levi had to babysit him through three hours of drunk rambling about his father forcing him to carry on a Victorian Literature legacy, and complied with Levi’s request.

“You can trust me.”

“I do,” Levi said seriously. Erwin almost swooned.

Hange huffed, then swept him off his feet and marched back into the hospital room. While caught off guard, Levi didn’t seem too displeased.

“You smell okay,” he said, almost suspicious.

“Thank you. I was afraid my pre-shower stink might wither the flowers.”

“Go rest. I’ll still be here.”

“Then I’ll be here.” Hange prodded a finger at the left side of his chest, a genuine twinkle in their eyes. Levi didn’t retort or come up with a clever remark. He very quietly held onto the rest of Hange’s fingers, in spite of himself.

“Yeah. You’ll be.”

Hange had the urge to eat their tongue in a fit of loving sentiment. This dork will be the death of their trembling, flaky heart.

AO3 Link

#aot #SCATSA #levihan #erurihan #levi x hange #levi hange erwin #ao3 #fanfiction #my writing #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #hange and levi #levi ackerman #hange zoe #erwin smith #college au #slice of life

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aiyanakopa · 8 months

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here come the scouts

#some choices were made on the dimensions of this one but we don't need to talk about that it's fine #levi ackerman #hange zoe #erwin smith #levihan #eruri #erurihan #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyojin #snk #hanji zoe #fanart #art #digital

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ponderingmoonlight · 6 months

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Levi being separated from his wife for years after joining the scouts but finding his way back to her

Pairing: husband!Levi x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,7k

Synopsis: Just before Erwin was about to catch you in the underground city, Levi begs you to stay behind and promises to return. Years pass, years in which he never reached out once. Until an unexptected visitor knocks on your door.

Warnings: heavy angst to comfort, the last part is not proofread so have mercy, please let me know what you think as this is the second aot fanfic I'm posting <3

Tags: @lees-chaotic-brain @sanicsmut @levislegislation

Click here for a cute little spin off

You move with almost frightening speed around the countless buildings, escaping the hands of the blonde male behind you by razor’s edge. Why the hell are the survey corps so much stronger than the military police? So skilled with the 3D manoeuvre gear that it’s almost scary, haunting after you so fast that it’s getting harder and harder to escape their grasps. But everything is going according to plan, right? You need to get yourself caught, you need to join the survey crops, you-

“Move to the left. Just keep going and don’t look back. You are skilled enough to escape them alone.”

Your glossy eyes dart towards your husband in disbelief. No, he can’t be serious about what he just said. That would mean…

“But we’ll get separated”, you argue.

Levi is fully aware of what he’s asking from you. But given the neck-breaking speed and the skills of the people behind you, the risk of getting caught is greater than the benefit of staying together. And that man…Even though he promised you the world, Levi could tell by the sound of his voice that he isn’t trustworthy. He might go to hell, he might die in the process, but you.

There is absolutely no way in hell he’ll risk your life.

At least you’d be safe, even if it means he’ll be away from you for some time.

“I never intended on taking you with me, (y/n). If we’ll get separated, I will come and find you here. I promise.”

His words don’t make any sense while you shake your head in mistrust. But you agreed on going together, all four of you. Why would you stay behind, why would he even suggest something like that?

“(y/n), I don’t want to lose you because of a mission. Please, move left.”

You don’t know what to do, mind completely clouded by anger, fear and uncertainty. You would trust your husband with everything, laying your life right into his hands. But this? This means you might never see again, this means he’ll leave you here for who knows how long, this means your husband could lose his life for freedom.

“But what if I lose you?”

“You will never lose me. I promise I’ll come back to you, just trust me with this one. I love you, (y/n).”

You take a deep breath, the next intersection coming closer and closer. It’s time to make a decision.

Will you move left like Levi begged you to or will you move right and followi him like you initially planned?

With a load of gas you propel yourself past a building, moving with horrendous speed down the tight side streets of the underground.

One last glance. One last glance into the eyes of the man who is the only light in your life, one last glance into the cold blue eyes of the man who is now chasing after him.

“You better come back to me, Levi Ackerman”, you mutter to yourself while holding back bitter tears.

-a few years later-

“Take it or leave it. I will find someone else who’ll buy it.”

“Are you up on sale too?”

That’s enough. With a swift motion, you pierce through the man’s dirty hand with your knife before turning around and leaving his house in company of his pathetic screams.

It’s been years. Years since Levi go taken away from you by that blonde man with blue eyes, years since he promised that he’ll come back.

But he never did. With fast and skilled motions, you swing around, making your way back home before the military police starts getting on your nerves again.

Everything seems so cold since he left. Your worn-down house, the bed you used to share, your whole fucking life. Who knows what happened after they got caught. Are all of them still alive? Maybe something went wrong, maybe they die-

No. You shake your head vehemently. This is simply not possible. Levi Ackerman would never die through the hands of a titan, let alone a member of the survey corps. That’s absolutely impossible, unbelievable to say the least. Maybe he started a new life on the surface with his friends, lying under the sun right now while eating the most exquisite food.

Good for him. If you weren’t still stuck in this hell.

A few harsh knocks on the door rip you out of your dreams.

“Who the hell is this?”, you grumble to yourself.

You don’t expect any visitors today. To be exact, you never expected anyone to visit you. So who could this be? The man you threatened before? The military police officers you stole from? Whatever, you will figure it out somehow.

But when you open the door, you aren’t greeted by the face of a disgusting officer. No, you stare right into ice-blue eyes.

“When will you finally let me get her?”

He missed you every single day since you parted your way back then in the underground city. How are you? What are you doing? Are you even alive? Levi’s hands clenched into fist just by the thought of it. Countless lonely night that felt so empty without you by his side, countless people he lost during the process. If you knew what happened…

“Is a woman really that important to you? She must be someone really special if you’re still asking about her”, Erwin commented, staring at the captain sitting in front of him with eagle eyes.

Yes, he does remember you. The girl who took the left path back then, the only one him and his squad weren’t able to catch.

“She is my wife. If you don’t allow me to get her, I will quit my service”, Levi suddenly barked at his commander.

How unexpected. Even though Erwin could tell that you’ve meant something to him when he decided to leave you in the underground city, he never thought his relations to you would go that deep.

“Fine, if that’s what you wish I’ll go and escort her.”

“I will get her myself-“

“You have a job to do, remember? I will take Moblit with me, it shouldn’t take long, given she cooperates.”

Did he even have a choice? One look into Erwin’s face showed him more than urgent that this is nothing to be discussed. And even though he hates to admit it, somehow Erwin is right. These brats were unpredictable, along with Hange.

“Fine”, Levi finally grumbled.

As long as you’ll finally be back in his arms, he won’t complain.

“You”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your whole body begins to tremble in thick rage, eyes darting right through his spoiled soul. His eyes haunted you in your dreams, how he talked to your husband back then, how they pushed his gorgeous face into the dirt. You will never forgive him. No, nothing in the world could make you forgive the blonde man in front of you who stole your life away from you so cruel.

“Where is Levi?”

“Maybe if you calm down-“

“SHUT UP”, you immediately interrupt the other man behind him.

“You will pay for all these fucking years I had to live without him. You will pay for every sleepless night, for every tear that I cried. You will pay with your own pathetic life!”

With a swift motion, you lower the knife out of your sleeve, ready to hit his carotid artery with full force.

Until you suddenly fall to the ground, the last thing you are able to see being this asshole’s boots before everything turns black…

“I…hate…y-“

Silence, darkness, nothingness.

“You didn’t have to hit her this hard. Levi will definitely make you pay for punching his wife”, Erwin comments dryly before gently lifting your numb body over his shoulder.

“His wife, huh? No wonder she’s so feisty, what a pain in the ass”, Moblit remarks.

“I understand her anger. After all, I hid her husband for multiple years from her. Let’s see how she acts when she wakes up…”

-back at the base camp-

“Who’s this woman?”, Eren mumbles into his best friend’s ear, staring at the lifeless female body laying in front of Erwin’s feet.

“They just came back with her. But nobody seems to know who she is”, Armin clarifies.

Everything hurts. Your back, your head, your limbs feel like falling off every second. You feel like hit by a horse…Did the military police catch you? Did someone come for you? Impossible…

You rub your head, lids blinking against the harsh light. Where the hell are you? And why is it so damn bright here? This definitely isn’t the candle in the middle of your bedroom.

You lift your trembling limbs off the ground, groaning when a new wave of nausea rolls over you. God, why do you feel so bad? You can’t even remember what happened last. You were at the underground, you made a deal with that asshole, you returned home, it knocked.

It knocked.

Your eyes widen in pure horror when his face lights up in your head. He. He was there. The man who stole your life from you, the man who took your husband with him.

“I’m glad you’re awake, he should return every minute-“

“You.”

Your eyes roam around without an aim until his cold blue eyes meet yours.

“You took everything from me!” you scream on top of your lungs.

The air around you heats up immediately, all the voices quieting down in an instant when your trembling index finger darts towards commander Erwin Smith.

“You took my life from me, you stole my husband and now you kidnap me! I’ve had enough, you’ll pay for all your sins, for how miserable you made my life! Do you know how many lonely nights I begged for him to return, that I even started praying for him to come back home to me? You promised freedom but caged me to the underground in my hopeless dream of him returning someday!”

Again, you shoot towards him with your knife in your hand. Fuck, you hate the way hot tears start to sting in your eyes and take your sight, but you can’t help yourself. This man in front of you is the epitome of living hell, the reason you suffered all these goddamn years. You aim for his neck, ready to slice him open like a fish along with a toe-curling scream that escapes your trembling lips.

“Don’t.”

The sheer force of a pair of fingers wrapped around your wrist is enough to make you stop. This almost sounded like…

“Levi.”

“I have to explain all this to you calmly. Please put down your knife, (y/n).”

“You have some fucking nerve”, you mutter under your breath, eyes darting towards him for the first time in years.

He looks just like you remember him, figure roaming over you for a few inches, eyes as calm as the ocean, hair neatly trimmed. Yes, he is just as attractive as you remembered.

And alive.

And this is the first time you see him, after so many years.

“Where have you been all this time, huh?”, you cry out.

You free yourself out of his grasp, now storming towards him.

“What about the promise you made back then, that you’ll return to me?”

Your hands push against his firm chest harshly, fists slamming over and over against his tight muscles while all he does is standing there.

“You left me without saying goodbye, without even thinking about me twice. Do you know how much I cried that day, how much I missed my fucking husband?”

Tears stream down your face like a waterfall, voice so hoarse that it’s hard to cough out a single word that makes sense.

“Why didn’t you come back? Why did you leave me in the dark? Why-“

He can’t hold back any longer. Before you continue your ramblings, before you are able to hit him again, Levi wraps his arms around you and buries his face in the crook of your neck. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed the simplicity of holding his wife in his arms.

“I love you, (y/n)”, he breathes against your ear.

You see stars, feel like fainting, want to push him away while all you want is to be held at the same time. Countless nights you imagined what it would be like to meet him again, countless nights you pondered about his life, where he might live, what he is doing.

And now he’s standing in front of you, pressing you tightly against his firm body while all you can do is break down and cry in his inviting arms.

“Back then, I have asked you to move left because I feared what lies behind the walls. And I was right, (y/n). The things I saw, the countless lives the titans took. Isabel and Furan, they… They died on our first expedition. It wasn’t safe to drag you into this world. Even if I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms again, I figured it would be easier to know you live as far away from the titans and me than being in danger…”

“You idiot”, you spit into the face you learned to love long ago.

“I would rather die by your side than live alone at the safest place. Don’t you understand that all I wanted was to be with you?”

Your words echo through his mind, the past years replaying themselves in front of his eyes like a movie. It’s been so damn long. He should have asked about getting you sooner, he should have moved hell and earth to get you out of the underground.

“I’m sorry about all those years, (y/n). You were the only thing on my mind this whole time, I was longing for your touch, for your presence. I wrote a list of things I want to show you. I know how much I’m asking for, but please forgive me, please be by my side right here and now.”

Is it really this simple? Is one look in his lovely face enough to forget all those years you’ve waited for him? Your heart pounds hard against your ribcage, all pairs of eyes seem to be set on you. What are you supposed to do?

“A simple sorry won’t take away all those years I’ve waited for you.”

Levi swallows hard, this usual cool composure slowly but surely breaking away. Fuck, he messed up. He should have gone after you immediately, he should have ignored Erwin’s advice. If you leave him right here on the spot…His eyes widen in thick fear. No, this would completely tear him apart. After all, you are his precious wife, the love of his life, the only reason he kept going despite all the people that died in front of his eyes.

“But I won’t live in the past with regrets. I was hoping forward for this day so long, let’s enjoy it.”

And then you return his hug, wrapping your arms around his ribcage like you used to. Levi lets himself fall into your touch, soaks in the decent smell of citrons on your clothes. God, how much he missed this, how much he missed you.

“We will never return to the underground, my darling. Your place is right here under the sun.”

You press your lips against his hungrily, soaking up this precious moment. This is exactly how you imagined your reunion. Maybe a few years earlier, maybe being escorted by himself. But god, you can’t help but get lost against his mouth, your fingers re-discovering the valleys of his well-toned body.

“Huh, what’s going on here? HUH, DID I MISS SOMETHING!?”

Levi slowly removes his lips from yours, cold eyes staring darkly behind you. You follow his gaze, looking directly into the way too near face someone wearing glasses.

“This is my wife, shitty four-eyes. Can you stop bothering her?”

“WHAT? You never mentioned anything about a wife! Oh, what a gorgeous woman she is! And you’re just as small as Levi himself. Huh, maybe that’s what comes with living under the ground, right? But don’t worry, you will be just fine here! Apart from some titans here and there, and maybe titan shifters and don’t forget those-“

“Shut.Up.”, Levi hisses through gritted teeth.

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