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#like ur a gender of ur own
kxmikomrade · 5 months
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HII!!!
I hope you had a great day today <333
and that you're excited for your birthday >:))
(it's in six days right.)
you silly <333 you absolute silly <3333
I love you mitsu!! I hope you sleep well tonight <3
HIHIII SHROOMM <33
HEHEHE I KINDA DID!!
oh no
U REMEBERED FUCK 😭😭😭
(yes dats right)
tbh i think my bday would be fine this year since were staying at home :>
U ABSOLUTE SILLY TOO RAHHHHHHHHHHHH ILYTTT <33 I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY SHROOM :DDD
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inkskinned · 8 months
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
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the green in your eyes (makes me feel warm inside) ; megumi fushiguro
synopsis; in the comfort of a familiar bookstore, you find a boy. a pretty boy, who’s always reading, who doesn’t speak unless he has to. you’d like to get to know him — and maybe you will.
word count; 4.6k
contents; megumi fushiguro/reader, gn!reader, fluffy!!, lots of pining from afar, bookstore au, no curses au, reader is an overworked student bc uni is beating my ass, gumi is kind of awkward but hes cute <3, gojo mentioned twice (stay safe), can u tell im excited for christmas … :'3
a/n; bookstore employee gumi who hates every single customer except for you is so real to me
(@riaki its here …🙇‍♂️)
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he’s there again. 
with a decisive step forward, you drag the door open, and the flutter of a bell resounds throughout the bookstore. a precious little jingle, alerting him of your presence. 
the boy at the counter gives you a glance. his navy eyes settle on your bundled up figure, and a flicker of familiarity blooms in the scope of his iris, a kind of recognition. something that makes your heart feel like a clumped up little ball of snow. 
(oh. it’s you.
you can almost hear the silent words fall past his lips.)
it only lasts for a second, barely even that, your gazes overlapping — then he’s back to reading. 
today, you recognize the book in his hands. the hardcover looks just a tiny bit worn, but still well taken care of. well-loved. and it’s a pretty rendition; a butterfly just above the title, snakes crawling on either side, vines stretching out across the scope of the image. there’s a kind of mystique to it. pretty.
wuthering heights, you read off the cover.
a little odd, in hindsight. you’ve only ever seen him read nonfiction. maybe he decided to broaden his horizons?
after a brief moment’s contemplation, your feet begin to move. taking another small step forward, inching closer, while the door falls shut behind you. blocking out the snowfall and colourful lights illuminating the street. 
mitten-clad hands go to brush stray snowflakes off your shoulders, as you shift from foot to foot, halfheartedly attempting to warm up your numbed toes. wallowing in the atmosphere of the cozy little bookstore; breathing in the smell of peppermint, the hint of freshly brewed coffee. from the boy, you assume — he’s got his usual mug on standby, a cute little black dog etched into the ceramic. steam rises from it, floating up into the air, and a fragrance of espresso wafts throughout the store.
low christmas music plays from the speakers, barely audible. pleasing to your sensitive ears and tired mind. it’s the usual mix of well-loved songs, for the most part, but then some you haven’t heard before. you can only assume he picked them out himself; pretty instrumentals, or low, gravelly voices, adding to that particular atmosphere simmering around you. nostalgic, a little melancholic.
the boy behind the counter looks angelic. 
he always does, when he’s reading — and he usually is. gentle, in the way he turns the pages, awfully delicate, keeping them still between his thumb and forefinger. lips pursed, brows just a tiny bit furrowed. concentrated, immersed. dark eyes trailing over the tiny letters, scanning the ink of the paper, twisting the syllables inside his mind. almost tasting them on his tongue, with the way he wets his lips. they look a little chapped.
for some reason, the sight seems to render you sort of speechless. frozen. like he’s a pretty bluebird seated on your windowsill, chirping softly in the wake of morning, and you’re afraid of scaring him away.
— his eyes meet yours, and you visibly stiffen.
it’s smooth, the motion of his hands. how swiftly he flicks the book shut, placing it face down on the counter with a twitch of his lithe fingers. not before slipping a pretty bookmark in between the pages, lilac-coloured, with flowers embroidered into the silky texture. you wonder if he made it himself. 
his voice spills out into the air, a little raspy. deep, but velvety, sending shivers down your spine. he clears his throat, and you watch his adam’s apple bob. ”do you need anything?”
a second passes. 
it catches you off guard, the mellow sound of his voice. when you’re so unaccustomed to hearing it. excluding the brief words you’ve exchanged paying for your novels, you’ve only heard it a select few times — mostly from afar, not-so-sneakily listening in on his conversations with the pink haired boy and pretty girl who sometimes come in and never look at any of the books. 
(there’s the tall guy with the not-so-seasonal sunglasses, too. but when he enters the store, all you pick up on are usually grumbles and threatening hand gestures.)
but now, that low, low voice is directed at you. 
it can’t be good for your physical health. or mental, for that matter. you’re not sure you remember to properly breathe, and you’re almost certain hearts aren’t supposed to flail the way yours is right now. 
when the boy behind the counter tilts his head, just by a hair, you’re finally snapped out of your little trance. stumbling for something to say, stuttering out a response, your hands grip at the insides of your pockets.
”well, um — i’m looking for a book.”
a moment passes. the song coming from the speakers changes into an instrumental, kind of jazzy. it’s nice.
”… a specific book,” you elaborate, under your breath. gnawing at your bottom lip, feeling a bit of heat on your ears. clearing your throat, as you step forward, tearing your mittens off with your teeth.
searching for a certain image, your numbed fingertips begin to tap at the cold screen of your phone. the warm air of the bookstore envelops your chilled knuckles, and a shiver runs through them.
the boy watches, silently, as you get closer. 
you don’t notice him glancing at your reddened hands, and when you look up to see a glimmer of something displeased in his eyes, you only assume it’s because you’re taking too long. speeding up slightly, you hear a low click of his tongue. his back straightens.
when he gets up from his chair, you notice that he's tall. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him do anything but sit behind the counter with a book in hand, either reading his own or scanning a customer’s. 
and, upon closer inspection — he’s maybe just a little bit too pretty for words. smooth, pale skin, a sharp jaw and defined cheekbones, dark eyes that hide a subtle kind of softness. pierced ears, a glimmer of silver on his earlobes, same as the rings on his bony fingers. his nails are painted black, a little chipped. and he’s wearing a big, bright green christmas sweater; one you really can’t imagine him picking out on his own, if his previous all-black turtlenecks and gray sweaters are anything to go by. 
while you fumble with the phone in your grasp, the pads of his fingers go to silently tap at the edge of the counter. a rhythmic motion; forefinger, middle finger, ring finger, over and over again.
it’s a little bit distracting. when he moves his hand a certain way, his big sweater sleeve rides up just a tiny bit, showing off the blue veins of his inner wrist. you think you catch a glimpse of a mole or two on his pale skin, and you swallow down a gulp, feeling a little like a victorian man seeing a girl’s ankle.
and then finally, you locate the image in question. swiftly showing him the cover of the book you were assigned to read. he squints a little, blinking drowsily, a flutter of his pretty eyelashes that has your heart skipping a beat. 
you clear your throat.
”i’m supposed to read it before christmas break, but i couldn’t find it at our library…” you tilt your head, a little sheepish. ”do you have it here?”
he stares at the screen for just a second more. then he’s angling his head to the left, finger pointing towards a corner of the store. ”it should be over there,” he hums. monotone.
a tentative smile forms on your lips. you thank him, and his eyes find yours.
all he does is shake his head, softly, brushing you off — a silent don’t worry about it. maybe a tad gruff, but you sense an acute gentleness to it. something tender, kind of. or maybe you’d just like to believe the kindness you sense in his eyes is real, more than just a delusion. 
but you don’t have time to dwell on it. the boy behind the counter goes back to reading, cradling the spine with his pretty hands. when he tries to grab the handle of his mug, one of the rings on his fingers knock against the ceramic, and he clicks his tongue in annoyance. 
you go to hunt down your own book, still thinking about his voice, how it trickled like honey from out his lips. 
the bookstore is entirely empty, tonight. no loud noises drilling into your groggy brain, no people to chatter amongst themselves and disrupt the illusion of peace you gain when you spend time here. a tiny respite, from your studies, from the stress and fatigue that you’ve come to associate with winter. hunting for christmas gifts, finishing late assignments, trudging through the snow. pretending that you have it all together.
but here, none of that matters. 
a sense of calm washes over you, as your eyes trail over the books by the science fiction section, and a soft sigh tumbles from your throat. gradually, your hands begin to warm up, and you look out the window.
outside, the world is blanketed by a veil of snow and frost, pure whites and murky grays as far as the eye can see. falling down to earth, smothering everything in a bitter chill. a cold, cold embrace. but when looking at it like this, from inside a cozy bookstore, with a pretty boy by the counter…
it's a breathtaking sight. 
little snowflakes descending, dancing in the wind. desaturating your world. if you close your eyes and focus, you think you can almost feel the wind nip at your fingertips, almost taste the fragrance of dried tea leaves and caramel fudge from the tiny shop across the street. almost bask in the green and red of the decorative lights in the skeletal trees, illuminating the city, buzzing with artificial warmth.
(your heart feels light.)
it doesn’t take long for you to find the book you need. keeping it safe and warm between your arm and torso, you walk back to the counter, gaze still lingering on the windowpane. the little snowflakes fluttering about, the glimpses you catch of passerby and their knit scarves in the darkness of the winter evening.
the boy behind the counter is as efficient as ever. he takes the book, fingertips resting exactly where yours just were, and scans it in a matter of seconds. you pay, and he puts it in a plastic bag, handing it to you — all while his copy of wuthering heights sits on the counter, pointedly, as if beckoning you to mention it.
before you can think to stop yourself, you’ve parted your lips. 
”is it good?” you ask. finger pointing at his book.
the boy blinks. eyelashes fluttering. once, then twice. he seems a little caught off guard, but still speaks within a split second. almost like he doesn’t even think about the answer. ”yeah.”
a hum buzzes in your throat. you shift a little, from foot to foot, plastic bag in hand. ”i’ve been meaning to read it,” you say, desperate to prolong the conversation, ”but i haven't had much time lately.”
a chuckle slips from your lips. it comes out sounding just a little exhausted. 
(he glances at the dark bags beneath your eyes, but you don’t notice.)
”i think i might buy it in time for christmas break, though…” you lift your gaze to meet his own. showing the briefest glimpse of a smile, polite. 
he doesn’t return it. lips pursed, silent, gazing at you with slightly lidded eyes. a navy blue, little splotches of a murky green blooming in the corners of his iris. they only appear when you’re this close. soothing, somehow. they’re pretty.
he isn’t saying anything, not a single word, and some part of your heart clogs up like a clump of wet snow. subconsciously, you trap your bottom lip between your teeth, digging into the soft flesh before letting go. cowering a little under his intense gaze.
did you annoy him? 
(he probably doesn’t want to talk to you. maybe he thinks you’re hitting on him, or something. are you hitting on him? that doesn’t matter. he must be stressed — it’s holiday season, after all. the last thing he needs is some annoying customer taking up his precious reading time. 
gosh, what were you even thinking?)
you’re just about to excuse yourself, mentally berating yourself for forcibly striking up a conversation with an obvious introvert — 
when the sound of something sliding against wooden material catches your attention.
you blink.
the boy behind the counter does a little cough. under his breath, clearing his throat. he wets his lips, in what you immediately recognize as nervosity — absentmindedly fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. 
”here.”
when you look down, a certain book is placed on the edge of the counter, right in front of you. wuthering heights.
another blink. you look down at the hardcover, and then back up at him, but he’s not meeting your gaze. if you look closely, you think you see a slight flush to his neck, red like a candy cane. 
”you can borrow it,” he says. a pause. then he continues, clearing his throat again, a hint of hesitance in his raspy voice. ”… if you want to, i mean.”
”… ah.” is all you can answer. barely a word, more of a weak little hum. an absent tremble of your voice.
outside the comfort and warmth of the bookstore, the wind whistles, digging its claws into the city. tiny whirlwinds of snowflakes dance from street to street, fluttering about joyously. you vaguely pick up on the song from the speakers changing, into a poppy christmas-themed kpop song.
a moment passes.
your muddled mind finally reacts. on instinct, sending little instructions to your frozen limbs. to your heart, face down on the floor, completely useless.
”oh — no, there’s no need!” you blurt out, putting your hands up hastily. waving him off. ”it’s fine, i can just buy my own copy!” 
but the boy only clicks his tongue, with that signature furrow of his brows. ”you’re a student,” he states, just a little gruff. but then there’s that kindness. ”you shouldn’t waste your money.”
you’re just about to protest, when he continues. ”besides,” he sighs. ”i’ve already read it. you can just bring it back whenever you’re done.”
and again, your instinctual desire is to protest. unsure of what to say, somehow exasperated by his trust. that’s what it is, isn’t it? trust. trusting a stranger, a customer he’s barely even spoken to, not to just take his book and then never return. trusting you to be a decent person. a good person.
isn’t that naive?
something sprouts like a snowdrop in a ridge between your ribs, though, and you know that it’s happiness of some kind. you’re glad, that he has something even vaguely similar to trust in you. 
glad that he’s acknowledging you, in a way. your presence, the sneaky glances shared between you. the comfortable feeling that sleeps inside your veins when it's just you and him, silently passing each other by, in a quiet bookstore that feels a little like heaven on earth. a safe haven, of sorts, with no incompetent professors, tight deadlines or numb fingers.
it’s just him, and cozy christmas music, and a pitter patter rhythm of your heartbeat that sounds a little like jingle bells to your muddled mind.
a lump forms in the back of your throat. you gulp it back down, and part your lips. an unsure question spills into the open air. 
”are… you really sure?”
”yeah.” he doesn’t even skip a beat. fingers tapping at the edge of the counter, over and over again. another slow moment passes. ”we can… talk. about it.” he coughs into his closed fist. ”once you've read it.” 
with a soft furrow of his brows, he averts his gaze. his voice comes out sounding soft, albeit a little rough around the edges. ”if you want,” he adds.
you’re so distracted by the flutter of his long eyelashes that you barely even feel your lips stretch into a smile. your hearts skips around happily within the confines of your ribcage, and you’re worried that you might look a little too excited — but how could you ever hide your joy, when he’s acting so dangerously, uncharacteristically cute?
”yeah!” you blurt, teeth peeking out when you flash him a bright smile. and finally, he meets your gaze. pretty eyes fixed entirely on you.
at your evident enthusiasm, his shoulders seem to relax. the rapid tapping of his fingers ceases, and he opts to simply bite down on his lip — attempting to obscure his own smile. but you see it, anyway; a tiny, tiny smile. the softest little curl of his lips. you’re entirely mesmerized, all the same. 
a hand goes to rub at the back of his neck, and he does that cute little cough again, and you wonder if the warmth sprouting in your chest will be enough to protect you from the snowfall on your way back home.
angelic; that’s the impression he always seems to leave you with. you wonder if he has any idea just how pretty he is. if he has the slightest clue. you wonder if you’ll ever be able to tell him, yourself.
you wonder if you’ll get to know him, someday. if you’ll ever get to know the pretty, quiet boy behind the counter of your go-to bookstore, who radiates a softness so palpable you wish you could stay there until spring blooms beyond the windows and melts the frosted glass. 
with tentative hands, a little shaky — not from the cold, but the anxious and excited tingle of your bloodstream — you reach for the book on the counter. taking it into your arms, cradling it gently, like it’s so fragile the pages could scatter away if you aren’t careful. with a steady hand on its spine, you begin to flip through the pages, until three little words on the first blank page catch your attention. 
without thinking, you repeat the little scribbled down sentence under your breath. hoping for something. more lulls of his voice, maybe, mumbling to yourself but hoping he’ll hear.
”happy birthday, tsumiki…”
the boy stiffens. 
a silent beat. then he clears his throat. ”my sister,” he explains, and you hum.
so he has a sister. a tiny fragment of his existence, now known to you, a little piece of trivia. you want to collect them, want to put them all in your pockets and carry them around, like little precious bells. 
”megumi,” he blurts out, sudden, and you look up from the book to meet his gaze. ”my name,” he elaborates. and then a pause. ”i work here.”
in a matter of seconds, his face reddens. ears and neck slathered over with that sweet cherry hue, blooming across his pale skin. a soft giggle slips from your lips, before you can think to bite it back, and that red hue exacerbates. 
”mm,” you hum, an amused smile on your face. eyes crinkling as you look at him, book safe and secure in your arms. ”i've seen you.”
megumi looks a bit like he wants the ground to swallow him whole. squirming slightly, shifting from foot to foot, tugging a little at the sleeve of his sweater. looking into your eyes, and then back at the counter.
it’s sweet. it makes you feel closer to him, somehow. like you aren’t the only nervous one here. like you aren’t the only person in this city who’s a little bit of a mess. 
(it makes the sludge piling up inside your brain feel just a little more bearable.)
”… thank you.” you smile. ”i’ll take good care of it. and i’ll bring it right back when i finish it.”
a low hum. megumi brings a hand up to fix his bangs, nimble fingers running through dark locks. absentminded — a nervous habit, maybe? ”don’t worry about it,” is all he says. 
again, that sweet dichotomy; a hint of something gruff, hiding an unmistakable softness. a little like snow. cold to the touch, enough to make you want to stay away, but then it melts on the skin of your palm. turns soft and warm beneath your touch.
unable to fully hide the smile still lingering on your lips, you allow yourself one final inhale — letting that scent of peppermint and espresso invade your mind, soothing every frazzled nerve inside your brain. then you put wuthering heights in your bag, protected and snug, and get ready to leave. 
it’s still snowing. if anything, it seems to have gotten worse, enough that all you see when you glance towards the frosted windows are little clumps of snowflakes. obscuring everything else.
just when you’re about to speak, say a little goodbye, a voice spills out into the air.
”… the snow’s supposed to get worse. apparently.”
his navy eyes carry a gentle hue, as they look into yours. maybe a little worried, like a protective mother wolf towards her cub. you blink, and megumi sees it as his cue to continue.
”you can stay until it gets better.” 
a brief pause. his signature cough reaches your ears, and it’s enough to have you smiling, even before he adds a tiny if you feel like it. nonchalant, or at least you think that’s what he’s going for. he mostly just sounds like an awfully caring person trying awfully hard to appear uncaring.
and again, a little smile slips itself into the curl of your lips. all giddy and nervous, a little flustered. but happy. now you won’t have to walk through the relentless snowfall outside, feel the wind chew at your reddened cheekbones. now you can spend just a bit more time with him, bask in those quiet, drawn out moments of pure peace, browsing through books while he sits and reads behind the counter.
”thanks,” you breathe. adjusting your knitted scarf. ”i think i'll look at the books a little more, then.”
megumi’s eyes soften. relieved, you think. hope. it’s a subtle shift, but still enough to notice, enough to see. little splotches of a mossy green sinking into that sea of ink blue.
you think he must feel a little embarrassed, though. like he’s gotten too close to broaching the line he’s set up between the two of you. because he quickly fixes his gaze entirely on a book in his hands, a new one — was it just waiting beneath the counter? 
you don't think much of it, but you note that he's back to his usual nonfiction. something on astronomy, you think.
and with one final glance at his tousled hair, you begin to stroll through the store. languidly, walking to whatever spine captures your attention. savouring the tiny words on the back of the books, wallowing in the peppermint and espresso that wafts through the air, only growing heavier while you’re busy admiring the white opaque frosting of the windows’ glass. 
at some point, the low whirring of a coffee machine buzzes from afar, and when you turn to the counter megumi isn’t there. 
a little later, when he comes back, he’ll be carrying two mugs — matching dogs etched into the ceramic, one black and one white. he’ll put one of them on the edge of the counter, closest to you, and then meet your eyes. give a vague nod towards it, but nothing else. you’ll notice the red tint to his ears, though.
and when you do, a warmth will blossom in your chest, enough to chase away the phantom ache of the winter chill soon to envelop you.
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when the little bell of the bookstore jingles its jolly tune, and the door shuts itself as you cross the threshold to leave, megumi lets out a barely audible sigh.
he thinks his heart may be beating just a smidge faster than usual, a little out of rhythm. palms against the counter, he allows his eyes to flutter shut — trying not to acknowledge the heat he feels on his face when he finally begins to process your interaction. 
he smooths a hand over his face, skin just a little sweaty. chewing at his bottom lip with two sharp teeth.
god.
really, it was no more than a stupid twist of luck. that you happened to come in just when he started reading it, that you noticed and didn’t question him on any of the contents. that you believed him when he said he’d already finished it.
and, sure, maybe he was secretly really hoping you’d come in. really hoping you’d notice it, that it’d be enough to make you strike up a conversation with him, something, anything. 
he happened to see you eyeing it once, that’s all. twice, and then thrice, each on different occasions. tsumiki’s old collection came in handy, rotting on the dusty shelves of her room — although he has no memory of her ever reading it.
(he remembers some, though. remembers her reading a few of them to him, on nights he couldn’t sleep. remembers the soft lull of her voice, how the whole world seemed blanketed by a wool of safety.
he wonders if he’ll ever get to hear it again.)
megumi’s heart feels warm. despite everything. 
even though he didn’t even get past the first half of wuthering heights, and has no idea what the hell he’s going to be able to talk to you about. even though he thinks heathcliff is a dick and catherine is a brat, and wishes they could save everyone else the trouble and just talk to a psychiatrist.
even with the cold baring its fangs outside, and the cup of espresso sitting right in front of him, still untouched, made with the store’s shitty coffee machine. even in the ugly sweater gojo forced him into. even though he doesn’t even really know you, not even at all, and still somehow feels certain that you’ll come back with tsumiki’s book in tow.
trust. 
megumi thinks it’s a little weird, how just that single overlapping of your gazes when you first stepped in seemed to solidify such an abstract notion. he’s always had a sense of it, though — a sense of goodness. an ability to seek them out, those good people, bubbly and cheerful and so tragically hard not to love. 
no matter where he goes, he ends up finding them. like tiny sunflower seeds persisting beneath the winter snow. blooming when spring comes around, in a burst of golden vermillion.
resting his jaw on the heel of his palm, megumi allows himself to wallow in the solitude of the bookstore. tired eyes soaking up the words on the pages he flips through, slowly, utterly at ease. drinking his shitty coffee, trying to ignore the itchy feeling of the sweater on his skin, unable to forget the memory of your stupidly pretty smile. 
so pretty he thinks it might just keep him warm, all throughout winter, until you return once more. bringing with you the glimmer of snowflakes on soft skin, and a pleasant fragrance of tea leaves from the cozy shop across the street.
a single sunflower, persisting even through the cold. 
megumi smiles. a tiny curl of his chapped lips, while he flips the pages of his book. content in the knowledge that this won’t be the last time he speaks to you.
(now he just needs to read up on some good papers on wuthering heights.)
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trashedinpluto-jpg · 1 year
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new fav silly little guy.. new fav silly little tweet
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tsumuchi · 4 months
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summary: whilst on your vacation in fontaine you accidentally end up in jail. fortunately for you, a certain someone is going to make your trip down to the fortress worthwhile
pairing: wriothesley x gn!reader
genre: fluff, strangers to friends to lovers sort of
warnings: none
notes: not proofread (will do so later) around 6000 words long, reader isn’t from fontaine and works in mondstadt (hints at reader working for albedo), reader is also a bit slow and wriothesley isn't any help and sigewenne sides with him, set after archon quest
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after spending four days down at the fortress of meropide, you could confidently say it sucked.
the accommodations, the food, the people, the faint smell of oil and grease always lingering around, it was a major downgrade from the hotel you had been staying in previously.
you had originally come to fontaine for a vacation that your boss back in mondstadt insisted you needed. and now you were going to have to spend most of it in prison.
all you had done, was eat ketchup on its own. that’s all. nothing more, nothing less. it wasn't even that big of a deal, you were just hungry and forgot to bring money for fries to go with it so you ended up eating a packet of ketchup. yet during the trial at the opera epiclese the fontainians made you seem like a villain.
sighing you sat down at the coupon cafeteria at an empty table placing your free meal down. it already reeked.
by the time my twenty-day sentence is over, i’ll only have three days of my vacation left... you thought.
in the fortress of meropide, the inmate that led you on your tour upon first arriving explained that you would have to work in the 'production zone' everyday and you only got one free welfare meal a day.
with that information you decided it'd be best to skip out on breakfast and dinner and have your meal at lunch. all your other time you spent working in the production zone under grainville's supervision. the work was at least easier than all the expeditions in dragonspine you'd have to go on with your boss.
that, essentially, was your routine for the four days you had spent here. you didn't want to get in trouble again for some stupid reason so you made sure to keep to the rules.
opening your welfare meal for the day, you were met with the same disgusting grey sludge that had greeted you yesterday and the day before. you immediately put the lid back on.
since you had step foot in the fortress, you hadn’t eaten a single thing and you honestly felt famished. it wasn’t your fault that everything was practically inedible.
you rested your chin on your hand, sighing yet again for the nth time today. you were considering just skipping lunch entirely, it wasn't like you were eating anything anyway.
when you first stepped foot in the fortress, you told yourself you should try and make the most out of your trip here, think of it as an experience, an extra vacation. but it was as if there was something you were missing.
most of the other inmates looked as if they were living the life down at the fortress of meropide. your isolated table was surrounded by others who were happily chatting away, with scrummier meals than you as well.
am i doing something wrong? how can anyone be genuinely happy here?
you thought, pushing away you’re own meal box in disgust and staring longingly at someone else’s meal that looked as if it belonged in hotel debord. the sight alone was enough to fill a fraction of the hunger inside you.
i guess this will just have to do...
“not a fan of the food, huh?” a voice suddenly spoke and you jumped slightly looking up to see a man sitting opposite you on your once lonely table.
one glance at the man and you already knew you did not want to deal with him. you had already ran into a couple of inmates, they either ignored you because they didn’t care or gave you a hard time just because.
this man, looked as if he was ready to do the latter.
well, i shouldn’t judge a book by it's cover…
he had messy black hair with grey streaks along with piercing blue eyes. with the way his arms were crossed you could see his muscles flex but also the various scars on them. he also had numerous scars around his neck and one just underneath his right eye.
you’d be lying if you said he was unattractive, you definitely would've noticed someone like him by now so you wondered why you hadn't seen him before.
“well, maybe i’d eat it if it at least looked edible.” you responded watching him in front of you, still taking in his whole appearance.
maybe... he's new here too? why else would he come talk to me?
at your response the man raised a brow, taking in your features. as his eyes scanned across your attire and up to your face, they eventually landed on your own as he stared right through you. his gaze pierced through you and you nearly shuddered from the intimidation.
you also noticed the looks and hushed whispers that other inmates were giving him once he had sat on your table. perhaps people had been giving him a hard time.
"um," you gulped "are you new here?" you asked. maybe he didn't have any friends like you, that would explain why he came and sat on your table all of a sudden.
he stared at you a while longer before giving you a lazy smile and leaning forward slightly. “yeah i am, are you?”, he asked.
"i mean i joined here four days ago so i guess... what's your name?" you asked smiling back, maybe he wasn't as scary as he looked.
he was silent for a bit as he looked down, it was as if he was contemplating whether he should tell you or not. you stared at him expectantly awaiting his answer.
"wriothesley." he said eventually.
"wriothesley." you repeated, "well, i'm (y/n). i may not know a lot about this place but if you need anything i can try my best to help." you smiled warmly at him.
he smiled back, well more it was more of a smirk, but either way there was a glint of something in his eye that you noticed but couldn't quite put your finger on.
—————
after your little chat with wriothesley at lunch, the two of you parted ways and you headed to the production zone to work until bed time.
when you headed to your room, you got ready for bed and tucked yourself in, closing your eyes so that you could allow sleep to engulf you.
except it never did, and you laid in your bed for hours waiting for the sleep to come.
after a while it eventually rolled to 1am, it was dead silent apart from the constant sound of cogs whirring giving the fortress a more of an eerie feel as you slipped out of your bed.
you trudged towards the lift and made your way to the bottom floor, planning on just sitting at the coupon cafeteria for a while basking in the silence. that's when you stumbled upon the place to find that someone was already there.
the same man from earlier sat in the dim light at the same table from earlier with a teacup to his lips peacefully drinking away, eyes closed. a matching teapot was upon the table and sweet smell of tea wafted throughout.
the rich and sweet aroma was nearly intoxicating, and for someone who hadn't eaten properly in the past few days you felt as if you were hypnotised.
at first you observed from a distance, comtemplating whether or not you should confront him. would he let you try some if you asked? you would have to remember his name first...
wriother... wriothesee... wriothesley? wriothesley! that was it!
"wriothesley?" you called out to the fellow inmate as he opened his eyes to meet yours. he help the cup away from his lips briefly and spoke up.
"oh, evening (y/n)." he acknowledged giving you a small nod, as you made your way to sit opposite him.
"why are you drinking tea out in the open? the guards are going to catch you." you asked while he merely shrugged and set his cup down.
"the guards end their watch night duty at twelve." he stated.
oh, i didnt know that.
"i could ask you the same though. what are you doing wandering around at one in the morning?" he asked, glancing at you.
"i just... couldn't sleep that's all." you said turning your head slightly.
you eyes trailed down to the cup that now rested on the table, noticing how the steam frrom the cup swirled and how the smell was even sweeter now that you were close. wriothesley saw all of this.
"...would you like a sip?" he eventually asked watching the way your eyes gazed on his teacup.
at his words you shot your head up to face him properly.
"really? can i?" your eyes practically lit up which he also took note off, he chuckled before pushing the teacup forward in your direction so that it was in front of you.
you grinned at him before taking the cup in your hands, not too bothered about the fact that you were using the same one as him.
you proceeded to take a sip and it tasted ten times better than the smell. the heat from the drink brought warmth inside of you and the flavours had a sense of familiarity.
the warm hot tea that your boss would usually give you in the little cave in the freezing depths of dragonspine was what first crossed your mind. and you were reminded of home.
you were done taking your sip and let out a happy sigh as you set the cup down.
unbeknownst to you, wriothesley had watched the way you drink the tea and couldn't help but be fascinated in the way your facial expression changed. your eyebrows slightly raised with your eyes slightly widened, the way your smile truly met up to your eyes.
a warm feeling came over him to see you enjoying the tea just as much - probably even more than he did.
"do you like it?" wriothesley asked and you nodded eagerly.
"yeah! it's really good, and tastes sort of familiar. anyway, thanks again, wriothesley." you said pushing the cup back towards him.
"no probl-" he cut himself off after looking down at the now empty tea cup that you had given back to him.
"you finished it..." he muttered quietly eyes widened slightly, when he had handed it to you there was still quite a lot left.
your eyes also widened at his expression as you sheepishly rubbed the back of your neck.
"sorry, i haven't eaten much since i got here so..." you said avoiding his gaze out of embarrassment, you hadn't meant to get carried away the tea just tasted that good.
his eyes shifted from the cup and looked at you, frowning ever so slightly, "you haven't eaten?"
"well apart from the few snacks i brought, my welfare meals have been so bad..." you explained still feeling a tad bit guilty.
"i see. the welfare meals are picked at random so you must've been unfortunate." he explained.
"oh really? so that's how it works..." you said trailing off in thought.
he knew about the when the guards' duty ended and the welfare meals yet i didn't, is this guy really new or am i just slow?
"um, how long have you been here wriothesley?" you asked cautiously and curiously.
"three days." he replied rather suddenly, filling his teacup with some more tea out of the teapot.
"oh, ok then." you said, "it's just you know a lot about this place, probably more than me!" you laughed slightly, he didn't respond and instead kept quiet.
silence fell over the two of you as he sipped his tea looking down at the table and you watched him contently with a small smile.
"you're much nicer than i thought, y'know." you said out of the blue.
"hm?" he said looking back up to face you, "what do you mean by that?"
"i guess it's just that when I first saw you i got the impression that you were the kinda inmate who scared everyone. kinda like a big bad wolf." you explained.
at your comment, he simply looked at you with a deadpan expression. seemingly unimpressed at your claims.
you laughed at his face as a yawn escaped your mouth the same time.
"perhaps you should go to sleep now." he suggested noticing your tiredness.
"maybe i should." you agreed getting up from your seat and stretching, you checked your watch and it was nearly 2.
you looked at wriothesley mildly perplexed, "aren't you going to sleep?"
he shook his head, "no, i still have some things i need to sort out."
what could he possible need to do at 2am?
you decided not to question his motives as yet another yawn escaped you.
"alright then, make sure you get some sleep at least. good night wriothesley." you waved, him giving you a curt nod back before making your way back to your room.
—————
you slept particularly well that night but woke up abruptly the next morning as dread filled your gut. you checked your watch as it read a time around ten in the morning.
i slept in! grainville's totally gonna kill me!
quickly you got out of bed and started to get ready until the same sweet smell from yesterday filled your nose bringing you to a halt.
turning you looked over to the table situated in the corner of your room as you caught sight of a familiar teacup and a grey welfare meal box.
you walked on over to the table, the tea was still warm and there was a small note on the top of the box.
'don't worry about sleeping in, i told grainville that you'd be having a lie in. enjoy breakfast. - wriothesley'
you smiled to yourself before setting the little note aside. you didn't even stop to question how he got grainville to obey his orders, the food inside the box smelled too good.
when you opened the grey meal box, you were met with two croissants and a stack of three pancakes topped with maple syrup and berries. your mouth practically started watering at the sight and you wasted no time and dug in.
—————
from then on, your welfare meals improved drastically and you knew it was wriothesley's doing (yet you still wondered how he had managed to). it had been two days since meeting with him that night and you hadn't seen him since.
you brought the teacup with you everyday since then hoping you'd be able to give it back and thank him but you were yet to see him again.
since food wasn't a problem anymore, you were able to work your shifts at the production zone, and you weren't sure if you were imagine things but grainville had been much nicer to you recently. while you worked, he'd tell you to take break any time you wanted.
on the way, you also happened to befriend the bombshell bros, cuistot and laverune.
"what's with the weird teacup (y/n)?"
"oh it's just uh, for a friend?" you said scratching your neck, looking around to find something else to talk about until your eyes landed upon something,
"oh yeah! what's that room?" you asked walking past the doors at the central part of the administrative area, you had passed it a few times but never knew what it was.
"oh that, that's the duke's office." laverune said.
there's a duke here?
"oh yeah," cuistot piped in, "he's basically in charge down here, a real big shot! the last thing you want is to cross paths with him."
subconsciously, you looked down to the teacup in your hand and pondered.
huh... the duke sounds like a big deal yet i haven't seen him before... i guess that's for my own good though
you and laverune dropped cuistot off at the cafeteria so he could work his shift in the kitchen and then headed off to the production zone.
laverune left after around thirty minutes, saying something about how he was hungry and tired yet you stayed, working tirelessly to process widgets. what the fortress needed all of these widgets for was still unknown to you.
while you were working away, you couldn't help but notice a melusine watching you from the corner of your eye.
she looked a tad bit different from the melusines you had seen up on the surface while on your various excursions in fontaine but still had the same cuteness at least. you wondered why a melusine would be down here of all places.
you didnt think much of her at first, not until she came up to you herself.
"hello! you're mx. (y/n), right?" she said waving at you with a wide smile.
you returned with another smile, albeit a bit surprised she had not only approached you but also knew of your name.
"oh, uh yeah that's me! do you need something?" you asked and she nodded.
"my name's sigewenne, i'm the head nurse down here. I’ve been watching you work and was wondering if you'd follow me? i'd like to give you a check up." she inquired, and how could you refuse to such a cute face?
so you ended your shift at the production zone and considering you had nothing else really to do instead, you followed sigwenne.
one thing led to another and now you were laying down in one of the beds of the infirmary.
“mx. (y/n), are you sure you're feeling well?” sigewinne asked as she looked over your state worriedly taking the thermometer from your mouth.
she had run a couple of tests on you, saying you had 'piqued her curiosity'. but now there seemed to be some sort of problem.
"uh yeah i am, why?" you said confused as she shook her head putting down the thermometer.
"you have a temperature of 40°C, im afraid you're going to have to stay here in the infirmary until it goes down."
"wha- but i feel fine!" you sat up all of a sudden as sigewenne ushered you back down.
"don't worry mx. (y/n), i have just the thing!" she said rushing out the room, you sighed sitting up again and resting your back against the head of the bed.
you had placed the teacup down on the floor beside the bed prior to sigewenne's check up, you bent down slightly and picked it up so you could place it in your lap. then you thought about your current predicament.
is it because i was in the production zone for too long?
it was just a habit of yours to work a lot, but you never thought it would end up in you getting a temperature. the thing was you didn't even feel hot. maybe it was because-
"(y/n)?"
your head whipped to the entrance of the infirmary as the familiar voice fell upon your ears.
"wriothesley! where did you go? it's been two days!" you said smiling upon his arrival.
he didn't necessarily answer your question you noticed, but he came over to your bed and pulled a chair out of a desk nearby to sit right by you.
"sigewenne informed me on your state, are you feeling alright?" he said asking you a question in return.
you blinked. sigewenne told him? wasn't she going to get something? why would she tell him of all people?
oh! maybe they're friends?
"oh yeah i'm okay, i honestly don't know what happened..." you laughed slightly looking off to the side.
"you overworked yourself." he sighed, "you don't have to spend all your time in the production zone."
"i know i know... it's just a habit of mine. i guess that's why my boss sent me here to fontaine, to take a break. it's a shame i have to spend some of it down in prison" you explained.
"i see." he said watching your expression and the way your eyebrows furrowed, "do you miss mondstadt?"
"just a bit." you nodded, "i mean i'm going back soon after my sentence but-"
wait a second, i don't remember telling him i came from mondstadt?
but before you could question the fact that he knew where you were from someone else came in.
"your gr- wriothesley, please could i ask you to leave. mx. (y/n) here needs to rest." sigewenne said with her hands on her hips and a pout on her lips.
wriothesley chuckled at her expression before getting out of his chair as you watched him rise, a small frown on your face.
"oh ok. well, thanks for the tea and breakfast a few days ago! it was really really good. here's your cup." you said holding it out for him.
still, i wonder how he managed to get ahold of such nice food down here...
he reached out to receive his cup and you felt his fingers brush against yours sending a jolt of electricity through your entire body causing you to visibly tense up.
"no problem. i'll come visit you again tomorrow." he said with the faintest smile on his face, his eyes not as piercing as they were upon first meeting him.
your breath hitched slightly and you felt your heartbeat start to quicken as you watched him leave the infirmary, eyes still lingering to where he once was. however your actions didn't go unnoticed by a certain melusine.
once he had left, sigwenne came up to you and checked your temperature once more.
"(y/n)! your temperature has gone up again!" she exclaimed bringing you out of your trance.
"o-oh! really? huh..." you said feeling slightly embarrassed, you yourself new the reason as to why that happened.
"here, drink this and your temperature should go down." she said holding out a cup innocently and you received it with a sheepish smile.
"thanks sigewenne." you said taking a massive sip, not expecting the drink to be so bitter with a side of... spiciness? you swallowed it (barely) but starting coughing soon after.
"w-what's in this??" you choked out.
"oh, nothing you need to worry about. everything in there has healing properties." she reassured.
"right... thanks sigewenne." you said handing her back the cup which she took from your hands.
you thought she'd leave you alone but she just stood there, not looking like she's be moving anytime soon. you contemplated whether or not you should ask if she was alright until she spoke up.
"what do you think of wriothesley?" she asked out of nowhere.
you said averting your eyes to the side, trying to get rid of what was in your head prior, "oh he's nice... i mean he's alright i guess?"
the melusine didn't respond after that, so you slowly brought your gaze back onto her only to be startled to see her staring at you with big wide eyes.
you gulped nervously as you gave her a wobbly smile, her stoic expression scaring you, "are you two friends? i mean you told him that i was sick so i figured you must have-"
"do you like him?" she said suddenly cutting you off.
this time it was your turn to widen your eyes as
"of course not! no- wait yes! wait- i mean in a friend way of course! haha... why do you ask?" you said, painfully wincing internally at your stuttering
she didn't say anything at first but simply stared, her eyes boring into you.
"it's ok mx. (y/n), your secret's safe with me!" she said happily as a sudden sense of worry surged through you.
"huh? what do you-"
"you should probably get some rest now, i'll come check on you again tomorrow morning. good night!" she said clasping her hands together and taking her leave.
you were left speechless once again.
—————
as promised, wriothesley came and visited you in the infirmary the next day. but after the events from the previous day you couldn't look at him in the same way.
you told yourself you didn't have a crush on wriothesley, that would be absurd. but for some reason sigewenne seemed convinced you did, as she sorted out her things in the corner of the infirmary she kept giving you glances.
which was terrible because it seemed as if the two of them were friends so if she told him about your 'feelings', you'd be screwed.
it's not like you had a chance with him to begin with, you weren't from fontaine and he probably was. and despite the fact that you two were sent to the fortress around the same time, you had no idea what sort of crime he committed.
now that you thought about it, he was kinda... mysterious.
he was sat beside your bed as you both drank tea in silence, you felt as if it was awkward and didn't know what to say as you looked everywhere but at him.
one time, you accidentally locked eyes with him and immediately looked away embarrassed.
there's no way i have a crush on wriothesley! besides, after my sentence is over i'll never see him again... not that it matters, i don't like him like that!-
"is something bothering you?" he quipped.
your heartbeat quickened again, much to your dismay. the way he had been looking out for you: getting you food, bringing you tea, checking in on you... it was too much for you to handle.
you hadn't even noticed, you were staring at him.
"no!" you said rather loudly coming out of your trance, you didn't even sound convincing to yourself, "nothing's bothering me, nothing's wrong..."
you quickly brought your teacup to your lips and looked down. nonetheless, he slowly nodded at your response as silence welcomed the two of you once more.
"oh yeah! did you know there was a duke down here?" you asked trying to start up some conversation to clear the silence, your talk with cuistot and laverune the day before coming back to you.
he was silent as he looked down to the liquid in his cup, watching the ripples hit the side and gently bounce back. he then nodded.
"oh, you did? i was only told about him yesterday." you said slightly surprised, you had been down here a day longer than wriothesley but he seemed to know way more than you did.
"what's he like? i've never seen him before." you asked as wriothesley looked up in thought but sigewenne came over to the two of you before he could say anything.
"the duke is very hard-working, he's always up to something hence why you probably haven't seen him yet." sigewenne said, a thermometer in her hands which she held out to you.
you received the thermometer and thanked her, "he kinda sounds like my boss. but at least my boss, as stoic as he is, can be nice and funny at times. apparently the duke is someone who should be avoided."
you put the thermometer in your mouth for a while before giving it back to her, she took note of the temperature and scribbled it down. all the while wriothesley frowned at your words.
"i'm sure the duke also has a good sense of humour." he said.
"maybe..." you shrugged.
"the duke also looks after the fortress very well, he's made lots of improvements over the past years to make this place as comfortable as it can be for the inmates here." sigewenne continued "oh! and he really likes drinking tea."
"ooh! i guess you two have that in common huh?" you pointed out looking at wriothesley.
wriothesley took another sip of his cup before speaking up, "i guess we do."
—————
“w-woah, (y/n)! you have loads of credit coupons!” cuistot stammered at the bunch of ‘credit coupons’ you carried.
sigewenne's drink was surprisingly helpful, (despite how weird it tasted) and you only had to stay in the infirmary for a two nights.
the day after, you and the bombshell bros were planning to go to the pankration ring (a place you never knew existed) to watch a match that according to laverune was going to be the ‘fight of the century’.
but before you made your way there you had told them that there was some trash you needed to clear out so they followed you to your room. when you walked out with the bag of credit coupons they’re jaws dropped.
“credit coupons..? i thought they were just pieces of paper. grainville at the production zone kept giving them to me for working.” you said stopping in your tracks and looking down at the coupons in your hand.
“you’re practically rich! with that many credit coupons you could do all sorts!" laverune exclaimed, the two noticed the confused expression still displayed on your face and decided to explain the whole coupon system.
"...so, this is the currency down here?" you asked in shock.
"basically, yeah!" cuistot said.
wow, i never knew...
once you were done putting away your coupons the three of you headed for the pankration ring. laverune suggested you bring some coupons so you could bet on which fighter you thought would win, so you did.
whilst you walked, you listened in on cuistot and laverune's conversation on who they thought would win.
"'le grappleur' is surely going to win! he is reigning champion for a reason." cuistot said and laverune shook his head.
"oh come on, 'demon horde' has it in the bag. the other day, he even beat 'killer hook'! that makes them tied!" laverune argued.
just what kinda names are these...
"who do you think's going to win (y/n)?" cuistot asked turning to you, you shrugged.
"i don't know... 'le grappleur' maybe?" you said taking a complete guess. laverune humphed disapprovingly.
"well, the duke's going to watch the match as well and i heard he's betting on 'demon horde'!" he said crossing his arms.
oh yeah, the duke, maybe i'll finally see what he looks like?
"but (y/n)'s especially close with his grace so they can just get him to change his mind, bam!" cuistot stated as you raised a brow.
"um, i am?" you asked.
cuistot laughed, "it's not often the duke sits to have a meal with anyone, or visit anyone in the infirmary. why didn't you tell us?" he said only arising more confusion inside you.
he did? but the only other person i've talked to is-
"i believe i heard my name?" a familiar voice spoke up from behind you three causing you all to turn around.
just as you thought, it was wriothesley, you smiled at him feeling your heart beat quicken. you were about to say something until cuistot and laverune beat you to it.
"y-your grace!" they both exclaimed simultaneously bowing slightly as you still stood upright, eyes darting between wriothesley and the pair.
"huh? who... 'your grace'? what?" you were confused until it finally clicked, your eyes widening, "wait, you mean... you're the duke?"
wriothesley smirked at you and folded his arms, "took you long enough."
your mouth was slightly agape as you simply stared at him utterly dumbfounded stumbling to find the right words, "w-what? since when?!"
"oh i dont know, a couple of years ago?" he shrugged nonchalantly.
cuistot and laverune noticed you two were conversing and used it was a chance to slip away off to the pankration ring, leaving you with 'his grace'.
everything suddenly made sense. why he was able to get grainville to listen to him, all the food he was able to deliver you.
"why... why didn't you tell me? and here i thought you were an inmate like me this whole time..." you said bringing your palm to your forehead feeling like an idiot.
"i'll be honest i found it quite entertaining that you didn't know who i was." he said causing you to roll your eyes, he took a step closer so that he was gazing down at you.
"how are you feeling by the way?" he asked, his tone becoming a bit softer making your heart beat even faster.
you sighed, still not having fully accepted the fact that you had been hanging around the duke the entire time, "i'm fine, sigewinne said i should just take it easy from now on."
he hummed smiling slightly, "that's good."
a comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you merely looked at each other. you admired his features not noticing that he was doing the same until he cleared his throat and looked off to the side.
"your friends seemed to have already left so, would you like to head to the pankration ring together?" he suggested and you beamed at him.
"sure!"
—————
after figuring out who wriothesley really was, you decided it would be best if you discarded your feelings for him. your chances with him had gone from about five percent to absolute zero.
you only had three days of your sentence left anyway, but you weren't looking forward to going back. after all, you ended up liking the fortress of meropide life much more than you had expected.
at the moment, you and wriothesley were having your daily tea break in his office. him sat at his desk going through some papers as you sat on the other side of the desk, reading one of the many books from his shelf.
"you know, i could always shorten your sentence. you could go back today if you wanted." he suggested breaking the silence.
"yes but," you started averting your eyes "i still want to spend a bit more time with cuistot and laverune that's all."
and you too obviously you thought but would never dare to say aloud.
wriothesley hummed in response, "ah yes, you're little friend group." he paused for a bit, "are you sure that's the only reason?"
"uh, i'll miss sigewenne too, she's really sweet." you said, subconsciously taking your eyes off your book and instead watching him. it was a terrible habit of yours lately.
"i see." he said rather plainly, "speaking of sigewenne, we both had a chat earlier today and she told me some, interesting things."
you froze at this and immediately shot ur eyes back down to your book, wriothesley this time noticing as he moved his work to one side watched your expression closely with a smirk.
what? there's no way sigewenne would've told him... right? i never admitted it aloud!
"that's nice, what kind of things?" you said still looking down, eyes scanning over the pages 10x quicker than before (the words weren't even going through your head).
"not much, but she did tell me about you." he said as you felt your heart sink.
"o-oh really? by the way this book is really interesting." you said losing where you were as you flipped ahead a couple of pages, a desperate attempt to change the subject.
he watched your reaction contently, leaning back in his chair with his arms folded, he then shrugged.
"maybe it is, i haven't read it yet." he said, "anyway sigewenne told me that-"
you pulled your own chair back and got up, with the book in hand you rushed to the side to go put it back on the shelf. there was no way you were going to let him finish his sentence and humiliate you.
"i just remembered! i need to go find cuistot to try the new recipe he made!" you said getting up from our chair and going over to the bookshelf. you went on your tip toes to place the book back before turning on your heel, ready to dash towards the door.
however when you turned you were met with wriothesley's figure standing in front of you with a lazy smile, blocking you form going any further.
"sigwenne said that you liked me." he leaned down so he was face to face with you, your lips merely inches away from his and a teasing glint in his eyes, "is that true?"
your eyes widened in shock and horror, your pupils darting around everywhere frantically, "uh- i um, i-"
that alone was enough to provide him an answer asall your muffled words came to a halt when he brought his right hand and held your chin up, connecting his lips with yours.
at first you didn't kiss back, you couldn't kiss back, utterly paralysed from the shock. his smooth lips against your own causing your mind to blank out.
does he... like me back??
you couldn't help it, you were a hopeless fool. you wrapped your arms tightly around his neck and kissed back, feeling a smile emerge from his lips, you felt as if you were dreaming.
his hand on your chin found its way to your cheek as the other wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you even closer to his body deepening the kiss in the process.
eventually after what felt like years, you both pulled away breathlessly. an irresistible smile creeping up both your faces.
"i think i'm going to have to lengthen your sentence." he said, his hand resting on the side of your face as his thumb caressed your cheek.
"really? what for?" you asked playing along leaning into his touch.
he leaned in once more, planting a small kiss on your lips before pulling back and flashing you a grin.
"for stealing my heart."
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ohvun · 1 month
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MY BOYYYYY:DDDD
Couldn't find what I wanted, so I made my own>:) Put it on a jacket now I feel rly cool:)
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hanadoesstuffwrong · 4 months
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Some doodles because the concept art for this mediocre corporate mess has been haunting me
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wildtalon8 · 6 months
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being a genderqueer & growing up in a “yes ma’am/sir” household as an older sibling and just wanting to be told “aye captain” or “yes/oui chef” instead
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mintharasthrone · 1 month
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please just get rid of the fucking rainbow at this point
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butchladymaria · 1 year
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#bloodborne#not exaggerating when i say that even wearing PANTS was seen as an exclusively masc thing btw#there are Multiple cases of women literally PASSING AS DUDES by wearing pants. IN THE ARMY NO LESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this one lady who wore pants to farm was seen so outlandish it warranted public backlash#women were arrested for wearing pants and button-down shirts as recently as THE SIXTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i could go more into maria's outfit as a whole but the pants ALONE make her canonically masc By Definition in the historical context :)#if ur abt to be fucking stupid on this post im Just going to block u btw#having said that if anyone DOES have normal responses or questions i really love history and i have a lot of resources#comment/reblog/inbox/dm are all fair game <333#in case anyone was curious what my inbox looked like after making that post#most of these are direct quotes :) its just silly to me#like holy [citation needed]#if u want to know more!!!!#i love her so much and im really tired of (overwhelmingly cis) people literally being so insecure in their own gender#that they just start reinventing gender roles in my inbox!!!!!#and everywhere else they can get their hands on#i think some of yall need to realize that uhhhhhhh#butch lesbians seeing maria as a butch lesbian is not fucking '''''''tokenism'''''''''''' or whatever#that is Literally Not What That Word Means#but it may be worth examining why you are so upset by it?#or barring that........have some genuine curiosity about the history of gender.......because its really cool to research imo
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satanfemme · 1 month
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orcelito · 5 months
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Like OK so I've been reading a fic with trans wolfwood in it that is so. HONEST. About how it affected him and still affects him. In a way that's very much not an average cis writer portrayal of a trans character.
Like. Either this writer is trans or did plenty of research, but it just feels REAL to me. And it has me thinking about my own way of writing trans Wolfwood.
I'm not there yet. But I've been thinking about it. The ways that what the EOM did fucked him up... but it also acted as HRT that affirmed his gender. So what do you do when you're in a body you don't recognize, but looks much more like a man than ever before? There's some gender euphoria in a way, but dysphoria at the same time bc you didn't grow into this. You didn't watch yourself transition. Suddenly you just Were this, and it's not you, but also it's nice to finally be seen as a man, but it also feels wrong to feel grateful for any part of what they did to you...
On and on and on
You see? This is what I want to think about with him. This is why trans Wolfwood is so compelling to me. It's just so Complicated, he'd have such Complicated feelings about his body and the way he lives with it. He learns this new body, it starts to feel more like his, but he also mourns the fact that he didn't get to watch it grow into this like he should've.
That kind of thing.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#tagging it bc these r things relevant to itnl ww. because. he is trans☺️#TRANS WOLFWOOD MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!#i wanna do more research into trans things. ive already done a lot. but like#into the actual physical side of it all. the effects of HRT. all those messy little details that people dont often focus on.#some months ago i skimmed thru this writing guide on how to write trans men. and i think i wanna revisit it#read it more slowly and thoroughly.#bc im confident in my ability to write trans characters. considering the fact that im not cis myself.#but im not a trans man. so there r some Things that i just dont know about by virtue of not having experience with HRT#so. research! supplementing my existing knowledge with the perspectives of the actual people im writing about.#and so it goes when ur writing about an experience that is not entirely your own.#it matters to me to make my writing of trans men as realistic as possible.#even with the messy details that people normally shy away from. Especially them.#i pride myself on my realism as much as is within my means of capturing it.#realistic emotions. realistic reactions. realistic bodies.#i am Going to write a trans wolfwood that is So realistic. as much as possible.#(i keep specifying ww with this even tho vash is trans also just bc vash is a bit more uhhhh not human lol#so the definition of what makes him trans is a bit more loose. still inferred by real life experiences#but he wouldnt have the same sorts of experiences with HRT. or gender expression in general#so i feel less of a pressure to capture it as fully accurate to the real life human experience as possible. if that makes sense.)
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quietwingsinthesky · 2 months
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transmasc rose who comes out earlier while traveling with nine and jack, and has a good one-two month period where he’s figuring out his own wardrobe and sense of style again, and in the meantime, he just steals jack and the doctor’s clothes.
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buryam-soul · 4 days
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I hope picking the Male Rover from Wuthering Waves is the reason I sort out my gender situation bcs that would be a pretty funny way for that to happen
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alilaro · 10 months
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the barbie movie should be state-sanctioned mandatory viewing
#i saw it today and like......... i crie#like its such a good movie that gives a perfect breakdown of misogyny and just the overall toxic beauty standards society holds over people#and even kinda touches on how easy it can be for young boys to be black-pilled and sent down pipelines for like andrew tate-type misogyny b#and how thats untrue and ultimately makes men unhappy and ends up damaging all genders#its very like nah fuck you its not women its bc ur depressed and toxic and you cant hold women responsible for your own misery#and not her job to educate and hold your hand or reward u for not being a piece of shit#but ALSO if you are AFAB boy howdy this shit was like free therapy#like thanks greta my pores are clear my mental illness is gone and my cellulite & unproportionate body with asymmetric features looks GREAT#like fr movie to watch when you got low-self esteem bc it makes you feel human and worthy and YOU are beautiful and important#also theres a trans; plus-sized; and disabled barbie !!!#two of them are the main barbies!!!!!!!! AAHHHHH#plus many non-white barbies#bro fr blows my mind theres a trans woman on screen as like a main barbie thats fucking WILD#they mustve had to fight like fuck to get that#oh another reason to like the film: conservatives are going to VOMIT BLOOD over it#mfs are going to be pissing and shitting and crying and cumming and contracting and just MALDING over a feel-good barbie movie#and i love that for us as a society 💅🏻#barbie#greta gerwig#barbie movie#barbie spoilers#???? i guess#also sorry for all the tags holy SHIT#i just have a lot of FEELINGS
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okkalo · 4 months
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seeing this debate abt giving x reader fics personal traits make me want to honestly punch some of u guys ngl
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