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#like.. brother… i dunno how to tell u this but i think u might wanna fuck him a lil bit
seventh-district · 8 months
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in other news i cannot stop fucking listening to Brokenheartsville by Joe Nichols and i’m starting to annoy myself with it but. i cannot stop. it’s too good
#Seven.txt#music stuff#it’s this perfect mix of being applicable to my current taste while also being a very nostalgic song for me#‘cause i liked it when i was a kid. and i recently heard it on my father’s radio outside. and man it’s been y e a r s since i’ve heard it#why is it so addictive to me#like. you cannot make a song that opens with the lyrics-#‘He wore that cowboy hat to cover up his horns. *insert seductive guitar sounds here* Sweet-talkin’ forked tongue had a temptin’ charm.’#and expect my southern and devil-loving ass to not go fucking feral over it#even when i’m not listening to it it’s playing in my head. was analyzing the lyrics the whole time i was in the shower earlier#but what’s funny is i think i’ve listened to it so many times that i’ve developed a whole new story than the one actually being told#but like. with how much he’s supposedly upset that this guy stole his girl or whatever#which i know he’s probably just comparing some dude to the devil and not actually saying that it was the Devil Himself#but it’s so much better if u picture it as actually being the devil that’s picking up this dude’s girlfriend in a bar#but anyways given how that’s supposed to be the point. he spends so much time describing the devil and ain’t got shit to say abt his girl#like okay buddy. we know you liked his cowboy hat. we know you liked his sweet-talkin’ tongue.#we’ve heard all about the make and model of his Long and Chrome Very Red Hot Sexy Devil Car#do u not have anything to say abt ur girlfriend. are u not gonna wax poetic abt her? no? too busy admiring the Devil and his Hot Car?? yeah#we’re gathering that#like.. brother… i dunno how to tell u this but i think u might wanna fuck him a lil bit#‘Love’s gone to hell and so have I.’ yeah!! i’m gathering that!! good for u dude!! get it!!#so now the whole time i’m listening to it i’m just like. this is a love song abt the devil!#which it isn’t. but it could be!! and so that’s what i’m choosing to see it as. bc i’d feel the same way tbh#i much prefer the idea of him being pissed that he missed his chance to run away w/ the devil than being pissy over his girlfriend leaving#it’s just so much more appealing to me im sorry#also. side note. when i was a kid i thought the line was ‘that angel up in the air’ and not ‘that angel who did me in’#and i don’t know how i misheard it so badly but now i sing it wrong every fuckign time cause it’s still cemented in my head from childhood#how young was i. hold on.#oh yeah it came out in 2002. so yeah i was quite young when i heard it a lot so i think im forgiven for mishearing it so badly lmao
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crushedsweets · 7 months
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I am so curious as to what you'd think about Nina and Hoodie as a duo. They've been two of my absolute favorites (even if Brian technically isn't even a creepypasta) since I was younger and I've always loved them as a sort of big brother/little sister pairing. They are so siblings to me I adore them. What are your thoughts on the sillies..
OHHH this is actually super interesting... but also im worried i do not have a lot to say because they won't mesh very well/very much. but i will try. not super realistic headcanons i think but what do i know... <3
brian isnt very present in my story, partially bc ik some mh fans dont like the crossover very much. and by time ninas in the story, i want him+tim to kinda separate from slenderman as toby and kate take over. he's still involved and coming around since he gets horrible slender sickness(but its from the operator) if he's away too long, but he doesn't live near or befriend most of the main cast..
nina is very present in my story because i love her and she is such a good and fun representation of the fandom yk. but brian is much more realistic and late 30s man, while nina is a very cartoonish early 20s girl. theyre on very different fields character and life wise...
BUUUUUUUUUT they would still meet of course.
she'd be bubbling around the entire cast, meeting people through jeff. people initially think she's in the same vein as jeff, natalie, and toby, with a LONG list of blood on their hands influenced by the operator, so they just don't think much about it. theyre mostly surprised by how cheery she is, but the proxies are the first to find out she's just... obsessed with jeff..... so thats very off putting. brian isn't fond of it.
nina would develop some light slender sickness(again, from the operator) just by being around jeff all the time, but the operator never infected her because he didn't see her as a worthy vessel. so, she would have to come to the proxies about it. if toby isnt in the mood or busy, she'd just have to hope brian/tim are around with some pills that'll soothe the pain
brian is more likely to help. with nina, he'd be quick to take on a more protective role, trying to console her as she cries on the couch holding her head whining about static.
initial convos would go smth along the lines of "do you want some coffee ? or uh kids like hot chocolate huh... maybe tea" "i'm literally in my 20s please tell me toby has weed somewhere" "that does not help with this pain i promise" "how would you know" "haha. water it is."
brian was a major stoner back in his early 20s and nina thinks its fucking hilarious. . . she'll try to get him to smoke with her but he's rlly not interested LOLLLL.... hes like 15 yrs older than her he thinks its weird .
again, he's not around a lot, but she's always happy to bump into him. she'd be squealing n shit 'HIII BRIANNNN how r u :3' and he'd just be like :) hey nina. and then never answer the 'how r u' bc he doesnt actually wanna sit and talk .
its a good change of pace. he's been through hell and back for well over a decade by this point, everyone around him is a sad sack of shit, and he spent a long time just. fighting to be an optimistic, cool guy to hang around . . but .... like.... um..... its hard to be that kind of person after all he's been thru. something about nina just forces that sort of like..... glee out of him . its not a huge difference where he's suddenly bouncing and giggling and whatever, he's still just Some Guy. but he'll be like :) lol .
mayhaps he'd catch her trying on toby's goggles and he'd offer to let her try on his mask. but nina would fake gag and be like 'no i dont want that dirty musty nasty sack on my head' and he'd be like ?????. then he'd say she can wash it and then try it on. which.. as an older sibling.... is the type of shit i'd do just to get my sister to do smth for me that i dont wanna do LMFAOOO. she might fall for it just cuz my dear nina is the ultimate fangirl
i dunno i kinda struggled with this one just cuz in my au, they wouldnt be all that close and the Type of characters they are don't mesh very well, but i am super fond of the concept and would love to try expanding on it more
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g-xix · 5 months
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Grace my love!! Have you watched the new sidemen Sunday?? I’m an hour in, any thoughts if you have???
Hey Buzzy Bae! (hope I'm okay to call u that :) )
Saw this come in ystrdy but was only about 10 mins in and wanted to give you a good answer so I've let it marinate and watched so that I am now also about 1 hour into the video
Hmmmmmmm very very interesting Sidemen Sunday, this one... I'll list down a bunch of rando thoughts n u evaluate them with me and give your own opinions also
For reference, this is the Sidemen Sunday of the week:
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SO! Thoughts:
Simon always hits so well whenever he's host - moresidemen, main channel sidemen, he's honestly really good at filling in all those little gaps in conversation and he's quite quick-witted with his jokes, and I think that might be to do with the fact that he loves Stephen Tries and Beta Squad, British-type humour and he's done really well with emulating that type of humour in a way that fits his vibe
Ah, I love seeing Deji in Sidemen videos! He's such a sweetie, looks and acts like a big teddy bear which I love for him. I feel like he's such boyfriend material, like, he's so cutesy and honestly kinda fine, like, why does nobody else SEE THIS SHIT!!! Would be the best hugger, so funny + positive, absolute listener, so real with you... Ugh, need his energy in my life
ANOTHER VIK + HARRY TEAM DUO! These two together give me LIFE! I feel like Harry just loves tryna bond with Vik because whilst Vik is so so so intellectually smart, Harry is so practically smart and that bright sort of person that balances out Vik so well. Like, Vik studies theory and Harry knows how to do it practically, is their duo's vibes.
Also about Harry + Vik - I am (haven't watched the full vid but currently they're dead last) ROOTING for this team to win. They have chemistry, they have effort, I know damn well Harry's a good cook... Idk, this team j gets me smiling most, I wanna see them succeed
Ethan and Tobi duo is more interesting. Generally I think these team/duo works really well together because Ethan's hilarious and Tobi laughs a lot + they j vibe like that and it's fun to see! This vid though, Ethan's more stresso about the cooking aspect bc obvi he wants to win and he's come across (so far) as a little whiney and complaining... Tbh, Ethan's whining does get on my nerves a touch, but in the end I end up sympathising + feeling worse for Ethan bc i know SDMN fans CANNOT empathise w Ethan's stress or shouting or however he reacts and then they bully him? Like, Sidemen fans see one thing they don't like and they just will not shut up about it. We saw this about the colleague's thing, how ppl started hating on Ethan- calling him insensitive and ungrateful for calling the boys "colleagues", as if the fans weren't practically agreeing with him prior when they made their comments of "Sidemen feels overproduced, we prefer the old videos where it's just banter between the boys", like, Hello??????? Dunno if this point made sense but summary: Ethan's complaining mildly pisses me off but I actually feel bad for him instead of annoyed, because I know fans will have a go at him for complaining + take things wayyyyy too serious.
And oh deary dear, JJ and Deji?? I love love love these boys on their own but in a weird way why are they so jarring on a team together? I feel like Ethan and Deji would've worked rly well, maybe Tobi and JJ on a team instead? JJ always acts so unhappy to be with his brother and it kinda reminded me of 2017-2020 beef between Dej and JJ. Like, JJ was just being mean and telling Deji to fuck off, that he's useless... But they're both at the same competency level?? Like, sure, Deji isn't really competence, but JJ is no better (even though apparently his omlettes are delicious). I feel as though JJ always takes place as Sidemen's greatest wally/idiot asw, and having Deji there means that JJ cannot be the biggest oblivious-one there, but he doesn't know how to fit in other than that... And so he takes on the character or the persona of a bully/just being mean to Deji, but (at least in my opinion) it feels really jarring and sort of uncomfortable to watch. I don't think this is a very popular opinion that I have either- maybe I'm just deeping it, or maybe I'm just projecting my own experience onto others.
Slightly more lighthearted note asw, I thought Kimberly (Special masterchef guest!) looked a lot like Faith which was quite funny lol. Like the American version of Faith :D
Right, very long, very waffle-y...
What are your thoughts? Agree, disagree, think I've read any situations entirely wrong? Tell me your thoughts in the comments or post a letter through the inbox n ill reply sooner or later :)
Thanks for asking, Buzzy, hope you're having a good one! <33
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lighter and princess gown (novel) by twentine SPOILERS AHEAD
so, bcs I'm obviously deprived of l&p contents I decided to read the original novel which still doesn't have an official english translation yet (the one I found stopped translating at ch 36 years ago), so i just used google translate from the original book in chinese (which was a mess bcs of that, but I was that desperate). twentine's book itself is exceptional. although my interpretation might be wrong because of the translation, I got the gist and found major differences from the show, so if you've read the book and you're fluent or native in chinese, please cmiiw.
read ahead if u don't mind spoilers:
1. the show romanticised li xun's character so much more than the original li xun from the book. (STOP READING HERE IF U WANNA KEEP HIS IMAGE FROM THE SHOW). if u think li xun in the show was cold as a fridge, he's the whole antartica continent in the novel. and he didn't treat zhu yun nicely, he was actually rather harsh to her not only verbally, but also physically (he tend to pinch her neck and waist and intimidate her in a way that made me uncomfortable)
2. the book tried to justify his character through his family upbringing, which was much more unfortunate and miserable than in the show. he was a bastard child and was bullied, basically was a puching bag of the family, esp. his step brothers. his dad was a total dick. other than his miserable, dying birth mother, li lan (his step-sis) was the only one who treated him like a human.
3. he was sexist and he literally laughed while telling people that he only like chicks with IQ lower than 60. he fooled around those women a lot. it's probably to brought up that zhu yun was the antithesis, but I dunno. it still doesn't sit right with me how he derogate women.
3. his titular lighter name was actually not bcs he had an emotional attachment to his father's lighter, but rather bcs he's a heavy smoker thus he brought a lighter with him everywhere he goes. (zhu yun was a smoker as well bcs of her trauma regarding xiaoyan, fang zhi jing, and her mom)
4. until the end, he never got zhu yun's parents' approval (and it's not bcs he cheated on exams like in the show, zhu yun's mother was just judgmental af for no actual reason at all - before li xun proved her 'right' by going to prison)
5. they did the deeds right after the confession.
6. fang zhi jing was the main villain until the end, gao jianhong just wasn't as significant as in the show.
7. they had 3 kids, and although it's not shown, it's implied that his character indeed became warmer over time.
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forever-rogue · 3 years
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A Bucky request for you queen: Reader takes Bucky to meet her family for the first time, and he’s already nervous, but he’s even more nervous when you ask if he wants to hold your sisters new baby bc he doesn’t wanna hurt the baby and he thinks he’s still damaged.
But eventually you convince him to hold the baby and then he sees how good you are and he thinks about having a family for the first time and things can either get fluffy or smutty, whatever u r feelin
Have a great day love!🤍
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A/N: enjoy some soft fluff! 🥺
Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 2.4k
Warnings: none
PART 2
MASTERLIST
»»————- ♡ ————-««
“Bucky?” you stared at your reflection, putting your earrings in to complete the final outfit touch. You were getting ready to head over to your sister’s house in order to see her, her husband, and their newborn baby for the first time. You were excited to go, beyond ready to see her again and meet the newest addition to your family. Meanwhile Bucky was going through a series of emotions as he tried to ground himself and settle his nerves. He’d been reluctant to agree to go, not because he wasn’t happy to come, but more so because of the bundle of nerves that had welled up at the prospect of meeting a tiny, brand new life. As soon as he’d seen how your face light up in excitement at the prospect of going over, he couldn’t say no when you invited him to come with you. Then again, Bucky could never say no to you, “are you ready to go, my love?”
“I’m ready,” he agreed quickly as he stepped out of your shared bedroom, clearing his throat as he pulled on his leather jacket. You turned, flashing him a dazzling smile that still made him weak in the knees, when you noticed a worried expression on his face. You flounced over, hands going to his shoulders as you offered him a reassuring squeeze. You gazed into his eyes, trying to gauge what was going on in his mind when he let out a small huff. He knew you could read him like a book, “alright. I-I’m nervous about meeting...the baby.”
“James,” you reached up and rested your hand on his cheek, relaxing as he lightly keened into your touch. His hands found purchase on your waist as you leaned into him, brushing your lips against his, “you have nothing to be worried about. She’s just a baby, she’s got no right to judge and she won’t. She’ll see Uncle Bucky and fall right in love. Talk to me, love, tell me what’s going on.”
“You’re going to laugh,” he turned his gaze away, but you reached up and put your hand under his chin and shifted his gaze back to you, “it’s stupid.”
“I’m not going to laugh,” you insisted quietly, “you could tell me anything and it wouldn’t be stupid.”
“I just worry,” he sighed after a few beats of silence passed between the two of you, “what if...what if he’s still in there? Some small part of him and he...snaps. Or something. She’s going to be so small and all it would take it one little-”
“Bucky,” you reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly in your own before lacing your fingers together, “you are not him anymore - he is not you. He never was. You are James Buchanan Barnes and no one else. He is not a part of you anymore at all. You are free of all of that. You are good, you are. I know sometimes it’s harder to believe than others, but it is true.”
“I know,” he closed his eyes for a few moments, lashes fluttering against soft skin as a small sigh passed his lips. He squeezed your hand back before resting his head on your shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his waist, “it’s just...I don’t want to have a moment of...weakness.”
“You won’t,” you insisted softly, “maybe right now you don’t need to believe in yourself, but can you believe in me?”
“Always,” you could feel him smiling lightly against your warm skin as he nodded.
“Good,” you pressed a kiss to the side of his head, “now, trust me because I trust you in you. Now, let’s go, otherwise we’ll be late and then then everyone will be mad.”
“Everyone’s going to be there?”
“Just my parents, my brother, my sister and her husband and the baby of course,” you stepped back and looked him over before leaning in and kissing him quickly, “they know you, Bucky. The real you and they love you. There’s nothing to fear. Might I also add that you look very handsome today. You’ll knock ‘em dead.”
“You look beautiful,” you just happened to be wearing one of the dresses he loved most on you. He’d never commented on it, but you’d seen the way his blue eyes had lit up when you’d first worn it. You figured it would be something to help ease his nerves, almost to ground him as you had a suspicion that he might be nervous. He’d gotten much more comfortable around your family over the last year, but you knew that his general anxiety and fears sometimes bubbled up, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you promised as you held your hand out towards him. He strode over slowly before taking your hand in his and inhaling and exhaling deeply. He could do this - you knew he could and he knew he could too. Your support had meant everything to him and have him that little push he needed to get over the lingering bit of insecurity he had.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
“She’s so small,” you said softly as you held the small baby in your arms. She was sleeping soundly, her little lips forming a perfect pout as you rocked her gently, “she’s beautiful.”
“She better be,” your sister joked, “nine months and then 30 hours of labor - she better be beautiful!”
“You’re the worst,” your eyes widened in surprise before you giggled quietly, “how’s she been?”
“Aurora’s been so good,” she said and you traced over her chubby little cheeks, “lots of long days and nights and more dirty diapers than I care to admit, but she’s worth it. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“I can see why,” she was so small and tiny, a new life that had so much ahead of her. The idea made your heart melt, “it must all be terribly scary and exciting.”
“It is,” she agreed as she nudged your knee with hers, “what about you and Bucky? Ever think about starting a family of your own? You guys have been together for a while and it’s something to think about…”
“We’ve...vaguely discussed it,” you confessed, looking up just in time to spy Bucky casting a quick look at you. He was mid-conversation with your father and brother but shot you a soft smile before turning back to the conversation. Your breath caught in your throat as a warmth settled in your belly, setting off a course of butterflies. What you hadn’t seen was all of the other gentle, tender glances he’d been throwing your way since you’d gotten there. You sister cleared her throat before drawing your attention back in, “but umm...it’s never really gotten that far. I dunno what’s going to happen, but I like to think maybe one day we’ll get married. I don’t see a future with anyone else.”
“You really love him, don’t you?” she asked softly as you nodded, feeling a warmth creep up into your cheeks as you avoided looking at her face.
“I do,” you bit your lip as you stared at the small baby that had started cooing softly. Her eyes slowly opened as she nodded before looking around and smiling. She waved her chubby little arm around before reaching for your finger and curling her fist around it. You beamed at her before pressing a kiss to her forehead, “just like you already.”
»»————- ♡ ————-««
“Bucky?” your voice was soft as you walked outside to the backyard where he was standing and watching the sun slowly setting and painting the sky in brilliant pinks and purples. He hesitated for the slightest of moments before turning to you with a half smile on his features.You were holding Aurora in your arms, and she was already back to being half asleep. His nerves shot up but he quickly calmed down when he realized how tranquil the portrait painted in front of him was. You made it all seem so easy and effortless - it was new and foreign to you too, but you were handling it so well. Maybe he could as well, “would you like to meet your niece? To hold her?”
“I don’t...I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he said softly as you both took a few steps towards each other. You offered him a hopeful little smile as the baby opened her eyes and turned to look at Bucky. He met her eyes and she babbled excitedly at him. Suddenly, something within snapped as his whole demeanor shifted and his expression softened as he took in a shuddering breath. He could do this, he realized, he could do this.
“Bucky?” this was more hopeful and optimistic as he came towards you and cautiously held his arms open to you. He only nodded as you looked at him to make sure it was okay. Shifting the tiny human from your arms to his, you watched as Bucky took to water like a duck to water as he made sure she was secure in his grip. It was a sight to behold and you felt your heart beat wildly.
“She’s so...new,” was all he could get out as you laughed at him. He almost couldn’t take his eyes off her as you gave his shoulder a squeeze, “so tiny.”
“That’s kind of what a baby is,” you joked as you stuck your tongue out at him and he jokingly scoffed, “see, it’s all easy squeezy lemon peasy.”
“It’s not as hard as I thought,” he confessed after a few moments, “it feels…”
“Yeah,” you pressed a kiss to the side of his head as you finished for him after a few beats of peaceful silence, “I know.”
“Do you think I could have a few moments alone?” he asked as you nodded, standing back and admiring the sight of your boyfriend holding your niece. It struck up something within you and while you weren’t quite sure what it was, you couldn’t help but revel in it.
“I’ll be inside,” you promised, “dinner will be ready soon.If you need anything, just say the word and I’ll be right there.”
“I know,” he grinned, “I know.”
»»————- ♡ ————-««
Bucky watched you walk back inside and close the screen door, holding a hand up as he lightly waved back at you. A wary sigh escaped his lips as the baby watched him with nothing but curiosity in her eyes. He’d held babies before, in another life, one which was stolen from him but had led him here. But he wasn’t angry about that anymore; he’d spent many years in anger about it and he was past that. He knew, one of the things that had helped him out of that anger and hatred was you. If his cards had been played any differently, you wouldn’t have been a part of his, and you had slowly but definitely become one of the best parts of his life.
It felt so foreign but so right in that moment as he stared at the small life in his arms. He’d never really pictured himself with a family of his own, once in his old life he might have, but he hadn’t in a long time. With you, something had trickled in, slowly blooming over time to become stronger and stronger. And after seeing you with the baby, there was something in him that had come full circle. And as he looked at her little face, he couldn’t help but wonder what your own child would like. Would they have his eyes? His dark shock of hair? Or would they take after you? Either way, he knew whatever child the two of you might have would be beautiful.
“Hi Aurora,” he whispered to her as he allowed him to touch her cheek, finding the faith and trust deep within himself, “you’re still so new to this world. You don’t know about all the horrors and scary parts yet. But there are so many good things too, lots of beautiful things. I will do my best to protect you from all the bad parts, I promise. Whatever you need, I will be there.”
She smiled at him, a toothless, gummy thing as he beamed at her. Maybe...maybe one day this could be a reality for the two of you as well. Bucky let himself relax as it felt like a weight lifted off of his shoulders at the realization that he was okay. That nothing had happened and nothing would happen. He was okay...he was okay. He closed his eyes for a moment as he remembered how you looked holding her earlier. The sight had sparked something within him too; it was a sight he had thoroughly enjoyed seeing. For the first time in a long time, he had allowed himself to think that maybe he could have this too, that he could have a family and happiness of his own.
A sigh, this one contented and happy, escaped his lips as he cradled Aurora against his chest and watched the sun disappear behind the horizon, “I think maybe one day I could be a dad. I think..I think I’d like that. Especially after today...I feel like it could be an actual possibility. I was nervous about today - meeting you. I know it sounds silly, especially since you’re just...a baby. I wasn’t sure if I could...trust myself - it’s still hard sometimes. Not often but there are times. You helped me to see that maybe it’s not so hard after all. Whatever it is, I-I’m willing to try. Especially with your Aunt. You’re going to love her, you know. I do.I really, really do. I think she’s everything.”
“Bucky?” you poked your head out the door and beamed, “dinner’s ready!”
“Coming,” he slowly made his way back over to you. Opening the door wider, you ushered him inside, a hand going to the small of his back as he handed Aurora back over to your sister. He returned to your side, an arm snaking around your waist as he kissed the top of your head, “hi.”
“Hello my love,” you grinned back at him, “how’d it go? She seemed to like you...you seemed to like her…”
“I did,” he agreed, “we had a good talk. Well, I did most of the talking, but she’s a good listener.”
“Hmm,” you snorted in laughter, “you’re something else, Barnes.You’re lucky I love you so much.”
“I love you, sweetheart,” he leaned in so he could whisper in your ear, “maybe later we could talk. There’s some...things that have been on my mind for some time.”
“Bucky?” you gave him a confused look but he cut you off with a soft kiss to your lips, “everything alright?”
“Yes,” he promised gently, “everything is perfect.”
»»————- ♡ ————-««
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gnocchighoul · 4 years
Text
the demons brothers + a touch starved mc
Lucifer
If you’re going to Lucifer because you’re touch starved, then you’re definitely going to be close to him already -- he doesn’t let just anyone touch him.
.......He’s also touch starved but won’t admit it, so one of you is gonna just have to bite the bullet and make a move.
(It’s gonna have to be you)
You’re going to have to go about this carefully--make a really good plan and then execute it flawlessly.
Literally just throw yourself at him. 
He’ll catch you. 
Probably.
Nothing says ‘give me affection’ quite like yeeting yourself off the staircase at him, and he definitely understands what you want when you latch on tight to him like a weird little barnacle that he cant peel off no matter how hard he tries dfghjkkgf
He’s really warm and he smells Really nice and he hugs you so tight, like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get, so he’s honestly one of the best snuggle buddies. 
He’s gonna act all fussy about your love-attack at first--just play with his hair and smother him with lots of kisses and he won’t be able to resist snuggling u. Or banging u, but that’s your choice
Y’know, because “demons can’t resist temptation” and all that jazz. 
(tbh he just likes likes you alot)
Mammon
...Why are you staring at him like you wanna eat him?
Seriously, knock it off, you’re freaking him out!
Wait, why are you coming closer…? Get Back you Fiend don’t you DARE wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into his chest like that what the FU--
...Oh.
Huh. This is kinda nice.
(Just hug him. If you want his affection, just wrestle him into a bear hug and don’t. let. go.)
At first, Mammon doesn’t really understand affection that isn’t along the lines of a friendly/loving punch. He’s not used to kindness. It’s a fucking tragedy. 
He doesn’t know how to ask for love because I don’t think he even realizes thats an option, tbh. 
He’s kind of like an unsocialized puppy--will definitely put up a fight until he realizes that, hey, being snuggled is nice.
Luckily for Mams, you are touch starved and determined to show his stupidass what affection is supposed to be like. 
He’s going to get so blushy. Sooo blushy. He totally pretends to not like it at first, but inside he’s over the fucking moon happy.
It takes him a while, but eventually, he realizes that he can ask you for snuggles too. At first he’s all “C’mere human, I bet you’re just itchin’ for me to hug ya, so let me make all your dreams come true!”
(It’s a defense mechanism.)
But over time, he eventually seeks you out and just flops on top of ya, and doesn’t feel the need to make a big show about it.
He feels safe with you, and that’s priceless.
Levi
Is incredibly confused about why you’re seeking out him for affection.
When you ask him if you can give him a hug, he expects you to just like... Wrap one arm around his shoulders for .2 seconds. 
Which doesn’t sound too bad, so he says “Um, sure, I guess? I dunno why you’d want to though” 
So when you climb into his lap and wrap your arms around him like a koala bear, his brain straight up blue-screens. 
Seriously, he forgets how to breathe. Don’t squeeze him too hard or he might never restart.
You smooch him on his cheek and his soul promptly leaves his body and is ejected into the atmosphere at mach 5.
This is literally better than Heaven. And he would know, he used to live there.
He totally freezes up and makes a wheezy sound that’s somewhere along the scale of “Dying Animal” and “Exploding Sink”
Needless to say, you create a snuggle monster.
I promise you that you’re never going to be touch starved again, because once you’ve given Levi a taste, he can’t get enough. 
He constantly needs to be touching you. Holding your hand or the fabric of your shirt, leaning against you, sitting with you in his lap while he plays video games--it literally doesn’t matter, he just needs that contact with you or he might literally die. 
He’s very enthusiastic about it dfghkfd
Satan
Look… Satan is very smart. 
But he’s also incredibly dense at times. 
You have to be blunt with him, or else he’s just not going to know what you want.
(Feelings that aren’t all consuming anger and hatred are still a bit new to him--he’s learning as he goes)
Just walk up to him and tell him that you need him to snuggle you right now, dammit. Lay your soul bare to him. 
He really does love that you trust him. It makes him feel all weird and fuzzy inside.
And how can he possibly say no when you set his heart alight?
That said, he is a bit of an over-thinker. 
Worries about crossing boundaries or making you uncomfortable and a million other things--give him lots of reassurance pls
He isn’t opposed at all to cuddle sessions, especially if he’s able to read at the same time. 
It definitely becomes a normal thing to cocoon yourselves up in a really fluffy blanket to read together.
Satan is honestly one of the best to snuggle with because he’s very chill about it. You want this and he wants this, so he doesn’t see a point in playing games.
So yeah, he’s chill! But he’ll also threaten the life of anybody who interrupts you guys 
Asmo
Please, he knows that you’re touch starved before you even do.
Until you’re upfront about it, he’s going to tease you by like, patting your head, playing footsie with you, giving you only the briefest of hugs--just slowly giving you a taste of his affection until you finally cave and demand that he snuggles you properly. 
(Is that a euphemism? It could be lol)
As soon as you ask he’s gonna push you down onto the nearest couch/bed/whatever and just flop on top of you. 
Honestly, Asmo wants You to be the one holding Him. He wants to use your chest as a pillow, and doesn’t he just look so cute all snuggled up to you like this? He totally does, you should take a pic of him!
Cuddle sessions are absolutely going to become a regular thing, and he makes them into a big event each time. My mans Asmo is gonna bust out the candles and the softest blankets and the fluffiest pillows.
If the opportunity strikes, he’s definitely gonna try to bang you.
If not, expect to do face-masks together. Maybe manicures. But definitely the face-masks, at least.
He’s gonna spin this into a fuckfest or a self care session--it really just depends on what you prefer sdghjk
Once you’re in his arms, he will tickle you. rip
Beel
He is the BEST hugger in the whole entire world.
When you approach him and ask for cuddles he will pull you into a hug without hesitation.
I do not care how tall you are, Beel is taller. He will engulf you in a hug and rest his chin on your head and sway you back and forth 
You want a piggyback ride? Hop on. 
Just wanna watch tv and snuggle? Great idea! :D but maybe don’t watch cooking shows or he’s gonna drool on you dfghj
(lowkey I think he would really enjoy watching human movies with you. He found Mamma Mia to be absolutely enchanting)
Want him to lay on top of you and crush you until all of your woes have been squeezed away? He will absolutely oblige you
Congratulations on your newly acquired teddy bear! Please don’t forget to feed him.
Literally just sit on his lap or wrap your arms around him whenever you want, he’s always down for a good snuggle. 
He’s by far the nicest about it too, he won’t tease you about it and he will never hold back from telling you exactly how much he loves holding you in his arms
Definitely loves to be the big spoon but has no problems with being the little spoon either. 
He’s just so fuckimg SWEET
Belphie
Oh, you're touch starved? Perfect. He's been in the market for a good snuggle buddy.
You silly human, why didn’t you come to him sooner?
Don’t listen to what Asmo says, snuggles are Belphie’s domain.
Once it’s established that you two are going to be snuggle buddies, he will literally just abduct you for snuggle time. 
He doesn’t care what you’re doing, he’s going to throw you over his shoulder like a sack of flour and haul you off to his blanket nest whenever he wants.
He just wants you all to himself. 
Will share your snuggle time with Beel tho.
After abducting you, he's just gonna toss you onto his bed and fall on top of you. He's really warm and he really just wants to lay on you. Partially so that you cant escape once he falls asleep lmaoo
He's happy to just talk to you about whatever you want while you guys get your snuggle on, but be warned: he's eventually going to fall asleep. 
Probably mid sentence. 
He won’t wake up when you poke at his cheeks or shake him, either. So uh. I hope you’re in the mood for a nap too!
Get matching sloth onesies with him. He’ll tell you it’s stupid but he’s actually thrilled with them. (Make sure you also get Beel a bear one though)
((part two with the undateables + Luke))
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bbugyu · 4 years
Text
for you + yoon jeonghan
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everyone in his life described you as his weakness, and he couldn’t even argue.
part one | part two
wc.10234 (LMAO) | fluff, smut, humor, etl/uni!au, ~new relationship stuff~, gender neutral pronouns for reader (but they have a pussy sorry), vague softdom/brattysub dynamics (guess who’s who!), there are - count em - 4 different sex scenes, more bff!gyu, filth, language, you know the drill, reader gets a lil tender, so does han, *sniffles* they just suit each other so well, please use condoms
this is where i admit that i wrote 20k of enemies to lovers garbage all based off a single line in falling for u, where they say they meant to drink a coffee with you but they accidentally chugged it bc theyre nervous. yup! all this mess for that one line! this is incredibly self indulgent and i apologize but also i don't because i needed this
~
visual culture was your new favorite class.
while there was absolutely no trouble making time to spend with jeonghan, your previous meditation time served as an allocated two hours every week where you could just sit and mess around with the boy you had growing affections for. the two of you would chat in hushed tones as the professor lectured, jeonghan’s fingertips tracing invisible patterns on your thigh as you diligently untangled his headphone cord for him, his thumb nails having been chewed too short to do it himself. he would bring you coffee on thursdays, when it was his only class of the day but your third and last. the caffeine was a well accepted afternoon pickmeup, and he never let you go after class without taking you out for lunch somewhere, claiming to be celebrating the end of your school day. then you might as well just come over to his apartment, he’d tell you. his place was closer than yours, he’d explain, swinging your hand in his. you didn’t wanna say goodbye yet, did you? afterall, the night’s still young, he’d tease, luring you with the promise of kisses between droopy eyed smiles.
jeonghan had become the complete opposite of your initial impression. he was sweet to you, genuinely, and if you liked him any less, you would say he was obsessed. you do say that, occasionally, when you’re hanging out with your friends and he texts you some purposefully cheesy line knowing it would make you roll your eyes, forcing you to mention him to your questioning friends, but you never truly meant it. you’d be a liar if you said every eye roll wasn’t just to cover up the faint feeling of butterflies in your gut. he always knew exactly how to make you want to see him, and you never hesitated to tell him when you did.
on one such day, when you had told him that if you went home you would need him to drive you into the woods and help you dig your roommate a clandestine grave, he stopped by your friend’s apartment after a shift, waiting dutifully by the door with his shoes still on and his hands shoved into his jean pockets as you searched the kitchen counter for your keys.
“serious, mingyu, what did you do with them? i know i left them next to the toaster.”
“i used your bottle opener, but i swear i put them on the coffee table,” he said, pushing back his hair as he looked around the small living room.
jeonghan watched you and mingyu tear apart the couch, trying to ignore the roommate that was leaning against the wall, eyeing him.
“where do you live?”
jeonghan blinked and looked at him. “uh, my apartment’s a couple streets over and a few-”
“roommates?” minghao watched as the older straightened his spine involuntarily, arms folded across his chest as he appraised his friend’s new chew toy.
“yeah, three,” he responded. minghao kept eyeing him. he fidgeted under the gaze, then coughed to clear his throat. for some reason unknown to even him, he said “they’re good people,” as though he was seeking some kind of approval.
minghao nodded slowly. “they act tough but they’re not. if you break their heart, i’ll break you.”
“what?”
“y/n,” he said, causing you to perk your head up from across the room while simultaneously clarifying. he lifted his hand and jangled your keys, holding them by the novelty hulk fist bottle opener. “found ‘em.”
“jesus christ, myungho, you had them the whole time?” you exhaled sharply, shoving a couch cushion back where it was meant to be. “don’t be a prick.”
you snagged the keys from him and shoved your feet into your shoes, taking the bag that jeonghan was holding for you.
“wo ai ni.”
you batted at minghao’s arm. “yeah, whatever. love you, too. see you guys later?”
mingyu threw up a peace sign from the couch, where he had promptly laid himself out after the search for keys had ceased, and minghao smiled as he waved you off and closed the door behind you.
you asked how work was, and jeonghan sighed, describing it shortly as work, but said he was glad it was over so that he could spend some time with you.
you giggled, knocking shoulders and slyly lacing your fingers between his. “cheesy.”
he gave you your favorite sideways smile, though he didn’t know it was your favorite, and you, again, ignored the flitting in your stomach that he always seemed to cause. “so, uh… myungho…”
you exhaled. “what did he say to you?”
“nothing, really,” he said quickly, knowing you would get mad at your friend if he told you the full truth. “i was just kind of curious if you two had ever, y'know…”
you looked at jeonghan. “you’re not jealous, are you?”
he looked back. “i don’t have reason to be, do i?”
“of course not,” you said, pulling your bag up on your shoulder. “i’ve kissed hao once, on a drunk dare, and we both agreed to never try it again. he’s like a brother.”
jeonghan nodded, thinking about the protective stance the tall lean man had taken when he tried (and maybe succeeded, though jeonghan would never admit it) to intimidate him. no matter the vibe he got, he trusted you, and he understood the intent - however, you made him want to do everything in his power to keep you happy, so he didn’t think this myungho character had much to worry about.
“oh my god, hannie,” you gripped his hand tighter, your other hand clutching his elbow. “look at that dog.”
he laughed and followed your gaze across the street to the pom that was nose up, walking beside its owner. “cute.”
“isn’t it?” you sighed. “god, i want a dog. i hate living in a dorm. i hate my roommate.”
“move out, then.”
“and go where? back to my parents’ place?”
he rolled his eyes. “into the apartment you practically live at anyways.”
“dumb, dumber, and dumbest?” you scoffed. “i would kill all three of them in under a week.”
jeonghan wondered which was which, then pushed the temptation to mention his idea of you living with him out of his brain. “sounds like you’re shit outta luck.”
you sighed, craning your neck to steal a look at the dog again. “i guess you’ll just have to get a dog for me.”
he smiled back, eyes lingering on your face even after your gaze went back to the scenery. “i have a question.”
you blinked at him. “yes?”
he watched a cloud for a second. “what do you call me?”
“hannie.”
he laughed. “i mean to your friends.”
you eyed him sideways. “are you trying to trick me into calling you my boyfriend?”
he eyed you back, a smile teasing his lips. “are you admitting that you call me your boyfriend?”
“what do you call me to your friends, then?”
“y/n.”
you rolled your eyes. “you’re the most annoying person i’ve ever met.”
“woooow,” he went, sighing and pulling his hand from yours to shove it in his pocket. “here i was thinking we were in a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.”
you giggled, tugging on his arm. “oh, shut up. we are. you call me by my name, and i call you by yours. that’s as mutually respectful as we can get.”
jeonghan rolled his eyes, but allowed you to pull his hand out of his pocket and put your fingers between his again. he had never been the type to hold hands in public, but with you it felt right. “whatever. it’s only been a month. i’ll break you eventually.”
you exhaled. “if you want me to tell people you’re my boyfriend, you just have to ask.”
“why would i want that?”
you pouted. “i dunno, i thought maybe you liked me or something.”
he squeezed your hand. “don’t flatter yourself.”
you laughed, forcing a smile onto jeonghan’s face, and he didn’t stop you when you changed the subject to the fact that mingyu had informed you that a dissected sheep brain looks a little too close to ssamgyeopsal for comfort.
one day, he told you that he thought you’d be different, back before you started dating. you were gentler than he imagined, despite your continued quick wit and sharp tongue. sweeter.
“i dunno,” he said, leaning back against the couch with your head in his lap. “in my head you would just be mean all the time.”
you didn’t take it as an insult. “the version of me you created in your head is no responsibility of mine.”
jeonghan thought you were beyond incredible. while his original judgement of you being rude, pretentious, and, well, mean hadn’t necessarily been wrong, he had found you to also be incredibly caring, thoughtful, and maybe the funniest person he had ever met. you would sigh about how broke you were that week, how you were sick of eating cup noodles, but you wouldn’t hesitate to spend the last of your budget on soju and kimbap for your friends on your walk to their apartment. you always picked up on his subtle mood changes - when he would press his hands to his temples as he tried to process his literature homework, your hand would sneak onto his thigh and squeeze his knee to remind him to let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, despite your eyes never leaving your own textbook. he swore he never saw jihoon laugh as hard as he did when you and mingyu went off on one of your stupid arguments that only best friends could have, especially after you called mingyu a “grey’s anatomy-worthy harassment claim waiting to happen.”
“seriously, why am i friends with you?” mingyu grabbed his drink from your hand and glared at you when he noticed how much lighter it was (you had said you didn’t want one but definitely stole more than one sip). “can anyone else stand this bitch?”
“i like them,” jeonghan said matter of factly, his chin in his hand and elbow on the table as he stared at you fondly. 
mingyu rolled his eyes. “you don’t count, evil twin.”
jihoon had his back on the floor, hands on his face, still trying to recover from your grey’s anatomy joke, and mingyu’s twin comment only set him off again. you giggled as you watch him roll onto his side, and briefly looked around this new grouping you found yourself in, sat around the low table covered in takeout in jeonghan’s living room. “how come you call me every day, then, dr. hate-my-guts?”
“free therapy,” he said, not missing a beat as he shoved a massive spoonful of rice and meat into his mouth. jihoon coughed, and mingyu narrowly avoided laughing as he chewed.
“i don’t buy it,” jeonghan said, running a hand through his hair and leaning back on the other. he watched you steal from his plate. “i think you like y/n the same reason i do. they’re the first person that didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear just because you’re good looking.”
mingyu kept chewing as he stared at jeonghan, his almost tired gaze going to you before he spoke. “you guys are really made for each other, huh?”
you didn’t think it before, but everyone kept telling you two that, and it definitely served as a pretty good ego boost for the existing confidence in your newfound relationship. you, of course, enjoyed jeonghan’s company even more without the validating eye rolls and gagging noises from friends whenever one of you made some praising comment about the other. you thought he was funny when he was making scathing jokes at his friends’ expense, but you thought he was absolutely hilarious when he was muttering every stupid thought that popped into his head with the specific intention of making you laugh too loud as you laid with him in your bed, his hand rubbing your back, overly aware of the fact that your roommate was trying to study at their desk as you planted your hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter.
as more time passed, jeonghan found it increasingly annoying that you both shared bedrooms with other people, considering how easily you could tease him into a bothered red-eared state with just your words. times that the two of you had gotten yelled at by whoever had to witness to get a damn room, or whispers between drinks that turned into standing too closely at parties, catching each others lips teasingly. disappearing into a bedroom only to be interrupted before anything can happen by some combination of party-goers and friends that somehow always managed to ruin the mood for one or both of you in an extremely targeted way. you had managed to help each other get off, of course, and he loved the look of you sinking to your knees in a bathroom stall, gaze catching his while you unbuckled his belt, or the way you squirmed against him, stuck between a closet door and his hard place, your breath hitching as he dug his fingers deeper into you. both activities were satisfying in their own right, but it would never be enough for him.
then there was that frustrating time jihoon had walked in, catching you with your hand down jeonghan’s pants, and he would never forgive you for the way you hesitated to loosen your grip on him despite the interruption. those few seconds of sheer terror he had felt, making direct eye contact with his roommate with his dick hard and in a hand that wasn’t his, the only thing stopping you from continuing being his annoyed “can you let go, now?" 
he had decided to get back at you, and he got the opportunity a week later, when he had woken up behind you in your bed with your laptop asking if you were still watching and your roommate sleeping only a meter or so away. his lips ghosting across your neck, rousing you from your shallow sleep just to find his hand gently squeezing your hip, running over your mound until you were begging him to slip it under your pajama shorts. he had to put his free hand over your mouth to keep you quiet as you melted under his touch, your toes curling against his shins as the string in you snapped, and you punched his chest when you finally rolled over and caught your breath for getting you so needy when you weren’t alone. he just giggled and looked at you, half lidded, then kissed you like he hadn’t just been muttering voyeuristic filth in your ear.
jihoon was going home for the weekend, and the second jeonghan had found out, he told you you weren’t allowed to make any plans and swapped his saturday shift with a coworker. you had laughed in his face when he told you he intended to keep you in bed the entire weekend, but part of you had been waiting just as much as he had.
on friday night, when the two of you were sitting on the couch watching some documentary that you could barely pay attention to, seungcheol asked again if you guys wanted to go to the bar with him and soonyoung.
"cheol, i swear to god,” jeonghan said, the arm over your shoulder stiffening as he pointed at his roommate. “if you ask one more time, we’re gonna fuck in your bed, and it will be messy.”
seungcheol groaned in disgust as you laughed. “fuck you, jeonghan. i was giving them an out.”
“sorry,” you said, your head leaning back against the arm. “i’ll try to get him to wash the sheets, but no promises.”
“you guys are so fucking gross,” seungcheol said, snatching his wallet off the counter and shoving it in his pocket as soonyoung came out from the bathroom. “we’re leaving before they jump each other. do you have everything? if you forgot something, we’re not coming back,” he said, pointing. “i’m not risking it.”
soonyoung patted all his pockets, nodded, then smiled and waved at you. “see you guys! use protection!”
“don’t take the sixth shot,” you warned, smiling and waving back. soonyoung laughed as he got shoved out the door by his roommate, and when it shut behind him, you felt a chill run up your spine for no good reason.
“we should probably wait a minute,” you said, turning back to jeonghan, who was already leaning into you and letting his gaze flicker unapologetically between your eyes and lips.
“or, and this is just a suggestion, we can decide that we’ve waited long enough and that if they come back after all of that they deserve to see whatever they see,” he pitched, his fingers already brushing against your jaw.
you blinked at him from only a breath away, his honeyed eyes putting a sweet taste in your mouth. you swallowed, your stomach feeling light suddenly. “or that.”
his lips were on yours as soon as the words left them, and your hand rose to grip the front of his shirt - one of the many plain shirts that seemed to rotate around the household. you fidgeted for a second, before deciding you were impatient and pulling away from him only to swing a leg over his and straddle his lap. he grinned at you, hands landing on your thighs, lips excitedly welcoming back yours.
you really enjoyed kissing jeonghan. he always started soft, gentle, with light caresses and reassurances of how beautiful he thought you were. though you never catch him applying any, you know he has a peach flavored lip balm hiding somewhere in his daily routine, and you tasted it on him as you dove a little deeper into him, his hands squeezing at your waist as your tongue dipped past his lips. 
jeonghan also really enjoyed kissing you, which was both good and bad for him. good, of course, because you could happily trap him in liplock for hours, and he never got bored of your soft sighs and adoring touches and wanton noises. bad, though, because his enjoyment becomes incredibly obvious embarrassingly fast, and he wished he could wipe the smirk off your face as soon as you noticed, but he always found himself completely powerless against you when you decided there was something you wanted.
and so, jeonghan’s eyes flicked over your chest as you pulled off your shirt, tossing it to the side as you stood and spun around, planting your hands on his knees and spreading his thighs as you sat back directly on his already straining bulge.
“holy fuck,” he managed, fingers running over the soft fabric of your gray sweatpants before kneading at your ass. you wiggled against his grip before grinding down against him, satisfied by the reaction, loving how clearly you could feel him and the way he sucked in a breath. you made no effort to stifle the noise caused by feeling him against your already dampening core, even through far too many layers. he whipped of his shirt quickly, his hands running up your back, twisting over your waist and pulling your back against his chest. you felt his lips start at your shoulder, then a hand on your chest, then the other snaking down your stomach.
you chuckled lightly. “can’t take a lapdance?”
“from you?” his lips landed behind your ear. “absolutely not. you’ll make me cum, and i have other things i’d like to try first.”
you sighed, rolling your hips as deliberate fingers moved from your stomach to inner thigh. “ever the poet.”
he smirked against your neck. “try it again later. right now, you’re making me insane.”
“mm,” you agreed. “i’ll keep that bookmarked, then.”
“god, how are you this hot?” jeonghan almost laughed. “you’re so annoying, why are you so good at teasing me like this?”
you smirked as his hand ghosted over your core. “yoon jeonghan, you make it incredibly fun to tease you.”
“i refuse to believe that it’s my fault you’re this sexy,” he said, drinking in the way your head dropped to his shoulder and a moan fell from your lips as he ran a finger up your slit. even through fabric, he felt the arousal gathering at your core, making his cock jump against your ass. you smiled, a hand snaking against his scalp, tugging gently at the hair at the base of his skull as he bumped over your clit, his reactionary groan matching yours.
“baby,” you whispered, your breath hot against jeonghan’s lips. “please.”
he licked his lips, tongue almost brushing yours in the process, using his hand on your waist to grind himself against you. “please what, darling?”
“fingers, jeonghan,” you whimpered, arching your back against his chest slightly in hopes to get friction against him, but he stopped his grinding as you did. you huffed. “please, i need you.”
he nudged at your jaw, making you roll your head as he planted his lips on your neck. his fingers undid the drawstring of your sweats to comfortably push under the fabric, and he let out a sigh as he didn’t find another layer.
“you’re evil.”
you giggled, gasping as his fingers quickly ran through your wetness. “and it turns you on.”
you let out a prolonged moan as he pushed his middle finger into you easily, sucking the base of your neck between his teeth. you gripped him, nails surely leaving crescents against his neck as he groaned about how absurdly wet you were, and you said something about how he was in no position to tease when you could feel every time his dick throbbed against you. he asked if you were dirty enough to admit how long you hadn’t been wearing underwear, and he watched you lick your lips before you told him all day. he smirked when you brought your lips to his, moaning against him as he pushed a second finger into you.
his fingers curled deliciously against pressure points, making you gasp as you tightened around them. jeonghan watched your heavy eyelids as you tried to focus on him, he watched your chest rise and fall as it flushed. he brought his free hand up to pinch your already puckered nipple, your temple landing on his cheek in an attempt to hold yourself together.
“i can tell you’re close,” he teased, and you only whined in response, eyes squeezing shut as his palm rubbed at your clit with the gentle movement of his fingers curling in you. “are you gonna cum on my hand, darling?”
you nodded hurriedly, your fingers curling in his hair, then opened your eyes to find his. he smiled at you, which only made you feel as though your world was crumbling. your back arched against his chest again as you came, and he held you by your core as you squeezed at his fingers, lips leaving repeated kisses across your cheek and neck.
despite the orgasm, you couldn’t help but continue to grind down against jeonghan’s hand, and he indulged your neediness by pumping them into you again before slipping his fingers out of you and pushing you forwards. “wallet.”
you groaned, pushing your ass back against him, smiling at the way his hand tensed on your side. “no please?”
he stared at where you were rubbing against his length. “i’m either cumming in a condom or your ass. your choice.”
he gave you a smug look when you turned your head to giggle at him, but his face almost completely dropped when he realized you were considering it.
“okay,” you said. “condom. this time.”
jeonghan’s cock flinched against you again, to which you responded with a wiggle before pushing off him and walking to the kitchen to retrieve a foil packet from his wallet, leaving him staring after you dumbly. when you turned around to walk back towards him, he had shoved his pants over his knees, leaning back heavily as he stroked himself using the hand you had so graciously wet for him. you gulped involuntarily, suddenly aware of how much saliva was gathering around your tongue as you tore open the condom.
he watched you kneel between his knees, his hand stilling at the base of his cock as you lapped a wet line up the underside of it, tongue swirling over his head. he tasted like you, and you had to swallow again before you rolled the condom onto him. you stood, turning your back to him as you hooked your thumbs under the waistband of your sweats and leaned over slightly as you pushed the fabric over your ass. jeonghan’s hand tightened around himself involuntarily, his other going to feel you. squeeze your hip, pinch at the soft flesh. guide you down onto him as you braced yourself on his knee. you pulled at the underside of your thigh, spreading yourself wider as you sat back onto him, sighing as he stretched you out.
“fuck,” he choked out, both hands gripping at your waist to stop you from sinking more. “shit, you feel really good.”
you whined, rolling your hips back in need. “i’ll feel even better if you let me sit.”
he chuckled. “why do you think i stopped you?”
you looked over your shoulder. “two pump chump?”
jeonghan pulled you down onto him harshly, forcing a squeal out of you as you curled over yourself. it had been a long time since anything had been this deep, and you could already feel your release building with one touch of his head to your spot. “shut up.”
“shutting up,” you muttered, voice almost cracking when he held you still and rutted up into you. 
“god, i can’t believe it took us this long,” he said, steadying you with his grip so you could roll your hips on his lap. “to get me in you.”
“m-maybe if your roommate ever went to cl-lass,” you stuttered, beyond pleased that you could finally relieve this frustration as you slowly bounced on his lap. “f-fuck, you feel better than i imagined.”
you could hear the grin on his face when he spoke again, running his fingers up your side. “have i been fucking you in your dreams, baby?”
“well, you sure - mf! - haven’t been fuh-hucking me in real li-” your sentence getting cut off by a whiney moan when his hips bumped up to meet yours. “god, fuck, jeonghan!”
he pulled himself off the couch, pressing his chest against your back. he pushed up into you, almost desperately, his teeth running across your shoulder as much as his lips did. you gasped, leaning back into him, spreading your legs until your knees hooked on the outside of his, his unrelenting fingers finding your clit, just to make you beg as he pumped in and out of you.
“please what, baby?” he asked sweetly, despite the hair sticking to his sweaty forehead and the way his eyebrows knit together.
“p-please, can i cum again?”
jeonghan groaned, almost taken aback by your complete switch in attitude. while he knew you liked it when he tried to take control, he had never seen you go down without a fight. “who knew all you needed to stop being such a brat was my cock?”
“p-please, h-hannie…” you whimpered, and he could feel your walls constricting around him. “please, i wanna cum.”
desperation became obvious in his own hips, just by taking in your face. he had gone into this with every intention of milking you of everything you had, but he was man enough to admit that your begging made him too close to cumming to stop. “get my dick wet, darling.”
your mouth gaped in a silent cry as you crumpled into his chest, your legs twitching inwards as he moved his hands to your hips and continued thrusting up into you, your walls squeezing him tight until he let out a low groan, slowing his movement until he eventually stilled completely.
the two of you stayed there, a sweaty, entangled mess on the couch, both just trying to catch your breath.
“fuck,” you said finally, and jeonghan thought he couldn’t have said it better himself.
after two packets of slightly overcooked ramen, a conversation about how leaving a used condom on cheol’s bed would not be a funny prank, and a generous spray of febreze fabric refresher, jeonghan watched proudly as you walked with a slight unintentional wobble towards his bedroom, assuring you he’d be right there as he rinsed out your bowls in the sink.
when he did finally join you, you were laying on his bed with your phone to your ear, and he crawled up over you as you giggled into the phone, knees spreading to accommodate. “hannie’s. i told you, i’m staying here for the weekend.”
jeonghan could hear mingyu’s voice on the other end, saying something about how he thought it was next weekend for some reason and that getting laid would be good for you, but he just smiled as he kissed at your neck, your free arm settling around him comfortably.
“why are you calling this late?” you asked, looking over at jeonghan’s bedside to confirm the time. “are you guys going out?”
“yeah, of course. rockbox in an hour. you guys in?”
you tipped your head to the side as jeonghan continued his gentle kisses up your neck, hands running up under your shirt, making you sigh softly. “nah, we have plans. cheol and soonyoung are there, though.”
“okay, no worries,” mingyu said, then paused. jeonghan took the opportunity to bite just below your jaw, gently rolling his hips between your thighs to make you aware of what he was thinking. “are you busy right now, or can you talk?”
a pang of guilt ran through you as you held your breath, trying to not audibly react to the movement against you. you hadn’t been able to sit and chat with your best friend in way too long. “i’m, uh, a little busy? maybe we could get lunch tomorrow?”
jeonghan pulled back and glared at you, a stark reminder that he had asked you to not make plans, but you just put a finger to his pouting lips.
“as long as it’s after noon, i’m down.”
“okay,” you said, brushing your fingers across jeonghan’s cheek and pushing his hair behind an ear. “one? two? stew?”
“one’s good,” mingyu said, his voice sing songy. “okay, i’m gonna get ready. have fun! use protection.”
you rolled your eyes. “everyone keeps saying that.”
“yeah, because you guys are crazy and no one wants to risk it.”
after your byes, you hung up and looked at jeonghan, who was still staring at you with disdain. you sighed. “it’s just lunch.”
“i said no plans,” he reminded you, pouting. “now we have to go get lunch with mingyu when i could be fucking you stupid in my roommateless bedroom.”
“no we don’t,” you said, running your hands through his hair. “i have to get lunch with mingyu. you can do whatever you want.”
“oh, so i’m not even invited?” his eyebrows raised at you. “you do realize i switched a shift so i could spend all day with you, right?”
you giggled. “hannie, i would love to spend all day with you, but i haven’t sat and gotten lunch with mingyu in a month. i miss my best friend.”
he groaned, burying his face in your neck. “stop making sense, i’m trying to be mad at you.”
“you can still be mad,” you said, your fingers softly massaging against the back of his neck. “i like it when you think you’re punishing me.”
he groaned again, hating how you could so easily say the perfect thing to make him forget about anything else. “you’re evil.”
you giggled. “and it turns you on.”
he adjusted against you, trying to ignore his increasing arousal despite his original intentions. “sometimes, you seem like my own personal demon.”
“oh, fun,” you vocalised, brushing your fingers knowingly through the hair behind his ear, triggering a huff as you hit your favorite soft spot of his. “two demons trying to torture each other.”
he laughed as he raised his head, propping it up with a hand. “would you consider this torture?”
“maybe for normal people,” you said, sneaking a kiss onto his lips. “but we’re demons, remember? this is fun for us.”
his lips pouted, less to make a point and more because it was their comfortable, natural state after your lips leave. “i think i like you a lot.”
your face burned. it wasn’t the first time he had said something to that effect, but it made your chest feel funny nonetheless. “that’s reassuring.”
“i’m serious,” he said. “i really like you. and i don’t like people.”
you smiled softly. “i like you, too, yoon jeonghan.”
he adjusted his elbows on either side of you. “i want to be your boyfriend.”
you stared at him. “nah.”
“aye,” he cocked his head, making you laugh. “you said all i had to do was ask!”
“i’m kidding,” you said, putting your hands on either side of his face, pushing his cheeks in. “do you want to meet my parents, too?”
he looked at the wall behind his bed. “maybe that can wait.”
giggling, you pulled him into a kiss. “okay, boyfriend.”
the smile on his lips lingered as you kissed him, and he decided it was time to make sure everyone knew you were officially taken.
“you could have worn a scarf.”
you rolled your eyes, pulling the hood of the sweatshirt you stole from jeonghan’s in an attempt to hide the purple marks on your neck over your head. “it’s not my fault he tried to kill me,” you said, tugging on the drawstrings. “how was rockbox?”
“good,” mingyu said, leaning back. “weird. vernon ended up on stage.”
you almost choked on your water. “and i missed it?”
he laughed, then pulled out his phone to show you a video. “seungkwan made him do the features on a beyoncé song. he killed it, though.”
you watched the shaky vertical video of vernon on stage with a boy you knew but never really spoke to, watching in disbelief and laughing at mingyu’s hollering in the background. “wow. bey seungkwan and jay-v. that’s pretty legendary. i can’t believe i wasn’t there.”
mingyu laughed, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “how was your night? productive, obviously,” he said, gesturing to your neck.
“good,” you said reflexively, then exhaled as you looked at your best friend. “like, really good.”
“okay, spare the details, but like,” mingyu tipped his head and looked at you through his lashes. “good good?”
“mingyu, you know i would never say this lightly,” you put your hands on the table. “the best. seriously. man has a surprising amount of stamina for how much he naps.”
“damn,” he sighed and looked away from you. “y'know, that makes sense. i’ve always heard he was good in bed, and you two have some insane chemistry.”
you spotted the waiter coming, and before they were in earshot, you hurriedly said “plus his dick is huge.”
“oh, my god,” mingyu reeled back, then realized what you had done as the waiter put side dishes on your table. as soon as they left, he glared at you. “why are you like this.”
you grinned. “you were curious, though, right?”
he squinted at you. “doesn’t mean you should just offer up the info.”
“when’s the last time i slept with someone?” you asked. “like, really. it’s been, like, almost a year since i hooked up with rubin.”
his brows ruffled as he thought. “damn, is that true? has it really been that long?”
“let me brag,” you pleaded. “please? he’s so hot, i’m gonna lose my mind if you don’t let me talk about it.”
“i don’t know if i can be friends with you anymore.”
“dude, he spit in my mouth this morning.”
“oh-kay, so you’re buying lunch,” mingyu said, sitting up suddenly. “damn, this morning? have you guys just been going at it like rabbits?”
“i don’t wanna hear it,” you said, pointing at him. “you had to tell me about every guy you hooked up with during your 'hoe-liday’ last winter, you can listen to me talk about a guy i’ve been seeing for almost two months.”
“fair enough,” he laughed. “i don’t think i’ve ever seen you like this.”
you groaned, sinking your head to the table. “it sucks.”
he stared at you. “oh my god, his dick made you fall in love.”
“shut up,” you said, lifting your head to land your chin on the table, curling a paper napkin over your spoon. you pouted as you tried to come up with an argument, but failed. “he’s sweet.”
“he’s mean,” mingyu corrected. “but he’s sweet to you.
"and dogs,” you defended. “and kids.”
“oh, so he’s husband material all of a sudden?”
you shrugged. “i’ve dated people much less likeable than yoon jeonghan.”
mingyu sighed, eating some kimchi. “that’s true. we both have.”
“yeah, so stop making fun of me, asshole,” your eyebrows creased as you leaned back and crossed your arms. “try being happy for me for a change. didn’t you want this all along? trying to get me to ask him out?”
“i am happy for you,” mingyu said, showing some genuinity as he laughed, also leaning back as your food arrived. “you just make it really hard sometimes.”
mingyu had the courtesy of dropping you off back at jeonghan’s so he didn’t have to borrow seungcheol’s car to come get you, and as he pulled up to the familiar apartment building, he gave you his usual “say hi to your boyfriend for me,” as he put it in park, quickly checking his phone.
instead of your normal “not my boyfriend,” you looked over at your best friend and bit your cheek. “sure.”
mingyu’s neck nearly snapped to look at you. “wait, what?”
you giggled. “sure, i’ll say hi for you.”
“did you-” he started, then stuttered, trying to figure out what he was asking. “are you guys, like-”
“he asked,” you said shrugging. “i said yes.”
a grin spread across his face. “really?”
“well, actually, i said no. then i said okay.”
mingyu laughed. “yeah that sounds right. wow, y/n got a boyfriend.”
you rolled your eyes, pulling the hood further over your head to hide your involuntarily hot ears as you adjusted to open the car door. “bye, goo.”
“this is my best friend,” he said loudly, making you stare at him with wide eyes as some innocent bystander walked past the car, all while you tried to pull yourself out of the door. “beautiful, right? sorry though, they’re taken, i’m dropping them off to see their brand new boyfriend.”
“you’re embarrassing,” you said, pointing an annoyed finger, grateful the person only looked back once before continuing. “go home.”
“you have done ten times worse to me,” mingyu said, grinning from ear to ear. “have fun with the pretentious asshole that can’t make an americano right, yoon jeonghan!”
that made you laugh despite yourself, and you shot him several expletives before slamming his door shut and running up the stairs.
after punching in the door code that no one had told you but you had seen enough times to know, you announced that you had returned. seeing jihoon’s chair empty on a saturday was strange, but at least seungcheol and soonyoung were up to their usual antics of playing some game extremely poorly.
you stood and watched the screen for a moment. “you know you can catch the arrows, right?”
soonyoung looked at you. “you can catch the arrows?”
seungcheol groaned. “why would you tell him that? i’m actually winning for once!”
you giggled. “if you dodge when the arrows are coming, you catch them.”
“you can dodge?”
from the other room, you heard a muted “hurry up,” and you saluted to the boys as they argued, following your cue to exit the situation.
jeonghan was on his bed when you shut the door behind you. “what are they yelling about?”
you sighed as you walked over to him. “apparently soonyoung didn’t know you could dodge in towerfall.”
he watched you pull off the sweatshirt - the same one he had worn on your first kinda date - to admire the marks he had left on you, then blinked when he realized what you had said. “we play that game all the time, how did he not know?”
you shrugged, then crawled into his waiting arms. “he’s not very observant.”
you sighed as you settled against jeonghan, and he kissed the top of your head. “how was lunch?”
“good,” you said, smiling. “gyu is good. it was nice to catch up.”
jeonghan clicked his tongue. “you guys talk every day.”
“okay, yeah, but,” you adjusted to look at him. “talking on the phone and hanging out with other people is different. we can’t talk about the same stuff.”
“well, what’d you talk about?”
you smiled. “wouldn’t you like to know?”
he squinted at you. “aren’t we supposed to be a team now? no secrets?”
“okay,” you said, fixing his bangs. “what were you and seungcheol talking about in his room yesterday before i got here?”
jeonghan couldn’t help the tiny smile that worked its way into his face. “did soonyoung tell you?”
“i would never reveal my source,” you said triumphantly, knowing it couldn’t have been anyone else, considering jihoon had already left. “also, he was pissed that you kicked him out while he was still sleeping.”
“if i could have just dragged cheol into my room, i would have,” he sighed. “trust me. i can pull soonyoung out of bed, but seungcheol is dense.”
you inspected his lips a moment. “were you talking about me?”
“uh,” jeonghan adjusted under you, putting a hand behind his head. “no, not really. soonyoung got a job, and me and cheol are both working more now. i wanted to talk about getting a bigger place, since our lease ends in the summer.”
you vocalised excitedly. “does this mean you’d get your own room?”
“that’s the idea, yeah,” he said, grinning. “you could stay over more.” and while he hadn’t lied - they had discussed larger apartment options, and decided to start looking by the end of the month - he failed to mention that the main purpose of him isolating seungcheol was to confirm he was crazy for wanting you to join them if they did move.
“i mean,” cheol had said, barely propping himself up in bed. “it might be a bit too early to tell, but you guys seem like the real deal.”
jeonghan spun in soonyoung’s desk chair, arms crossed. “but i’m insane, right? like, we haven’t even slept together.”
“they’re coming over for the weekend, yeah?”
“yeah.”
“so let’s talk about it again on monday?”
jeonghan kneaded at his jaw, exhaling. “yeah, okay.”
now, you had slept together. not only that, but you slept together, all night, in the same bed, and jeonghan woke up with jumbled poetry in his head when he found you curled up by his side. despite living in this apartment for nearly a year, it felt most like home with you in it. 
and he had told seungcheol, when he got home from dropping you off for lunch, that he was pretty damn sure he wanted to wake up like that every morning.
he wondered how you would react, if you would want to take the leap and move in with him. part of him felt as though he was taking advantage of your situation for his own selfish want to have you around all the time - you would do literally anything to avoid being in a dorm next year, but your housing budget wouldn’t accommodate for anything more than a goshiwon. while that wasn’t the worst option, you always talked about how much you missed living in a normal space, with a stove. a full sized fridge. a real bathroom, instead of a cramped wetroom. if he were to ask you to live with him, you would likely say yes, but would that put too much strain on your relationship too early? or would you think he was moving too fast and say no? his mind whirred silently as you buried your face in his neck.
“what’s on your mind?”
jeonghan blinked. “nothing.”
“liar.”
he sighed. “you.”
you lifted your head. “am i what’s making your heart beat so fast?”
he hadn’t even realized his pulse had quickened. he swallowed, briefly wondering if he would ever be able to truly hide anything from you. “maybe. what did you and mingyu talk about?”
you laughed. “i was hoping you would forget.”
“i never forget.”
“we talked about a lot,” you said, fiddling with the collar of jeonghan’s tee. “classes, summer plans, boys…”
he raised his brow at the last subject. “boys, huh?”
you smirked at him playfully. “yeah, our waiter was cute.”
he scoffed in your face and you giggled, then flattened his shirt against his chest.
“we talked about you. i told him we were official.”
“how’d that go?”
“he made fun of me, but it’s fine because i told him you have a big dick.”
jeonghan’s hand went from behind his head to cover his eyes, letting out a half-groan and half-“really?”, but the smile on his lips told you he wasn’t mad. “why? why would you tell him that?”
“he’s my best friend!” you laughed.
“okay, why did you tell me that?”
“i’d thought you’d like to know,” you said, pouting slightly. “he might respect you now.”
he uncovered his face just so you could see him rolling his eyes before he tried to sit up. “okay, no more cuddling.”
you whined, trying to keep him in place, but failing. “but i just got here!”
“maybe you shouldn’t have left in the first place,” he teased, getting out of bed to turn off the air purifier he usually only ran at night, but had been too preoccupied to turn off that morning. “i told you i intended to keep you in bed all weekend, but you didn’t care.”
“i’m here now,” you pouted. “in your bed.”
“take a nap, then,” jeonghan said. “i’m gonna eat.”
you groaned. “you didn’t eat while i was gone?”
“too busy pouting in bed. your turn.”
you floundered and whined childishly for a moment as he laughed at you, leaving the room without another word. sometimes you hated how similar you two were, but only because it made you completely aware of just how annoying you were.
when jeonghan returned, you had completely passed out, holding his pillow under your head as you laid on your stomach. he smirked in the direction of the sleeping body and fiddled with a few things - closing the closet door, throwing a rogue shirt into his hamper, etc. - before making his way to the bed to join you.
his touch was gentle. enough to rouse but not frighten. you squirmed slightly, recognizing the way his hand dipped into even the most subtle curves of your body as you laid out comfortably. you gave a noise of approval when it ran over your ass, squeezing slightly. jeonghan smirked again, and you turned under his arm to face him, a soft smile on your lips.
“g'morning.”
“it’s four in the afternoon,” he corrected.
you sighed. “and it’s a good morning.”
“sure is, babe,” he drawled, smiling as you planted a smooch. his hand ran unhurriedly up your back, under your shirt.
you hummed. “are you really horny again?”
“listen,” he mumbled, almost laughing. “i just want to get of much of you as i can, while i can.”
you supposed that was as good a reason as any as you kissed him again, only for him to pull away and straddle the backs of your thighs. he pushed the balls of his palms into your lower back on either side of your spine, and you let out a low moan. jeonghan did this on occasion, treat you to a back rub. he claimed it was because you had the worst posture he had ever seen, but you knew it was an excuse to get his hands all over you, and you couldn’t hide how much you enjoyed it. you adjusted to lay straighter, burying your face in the pillow when he hit a particularly evil knot and had to dig it out with a thumb. you groaned as his hands travelled up your back, sliding the shirt up as he massaged into your shoulders. you sighed as you got up on your elbows and ripped off the shirt, tossing it somewhere on the floor, exposing your full back to him, your shoulders and neck littered in his marks. he admired them, even planted small kisses atop a few, then worked his way down your back, curving his hands over your ass.
you muttered a quiet thank you, and he smiled, giving you a succinct “of course” in response. he moved down to your legs, thumbs sneaking in your inner thighs and subtly spreading you out despite your pants. you hummed, pushing your hips to meet his touch, encouraging him to knead at your cheeks.
“have i ever told you you have a great ass?”
you giggled. “it’s average at best.”
“uh, no,” he said, voice pitched upwards in a teasing manner. “i think i’m a really great judge in asses and yours is fantastic.”
“yeah?” you peeked over your shoulder. “what’s so fantastic about it?”
jeonghan’s fingers dug into it, eyes shooting up to meet yours. “well, for starters, it’s connected to you.”
he ran a thumb over your crease, making you let out a small noise in response, and you buried your face in the pillow again. “shut up.”
he smirked against your shoulder, hands running up your back again and one landing on the mattress beside you as he pushed his hips against your ass. “yes, boss.”
you sighed, arching your back to get as much friction as you could while he ground his hard member against you. he sucked at your neck, and your hands dug helplessly into his hair as you whined.
“are we teenagers?” you asked, huffing. “do we have to dry hump or can we fuck like adults?”
jeonghan laughed as he lifted his mouth to ghost over yours. “impatient. if you were better, you would have asked for my cock nicely.”
“better,” you repeated, hating the way a hard wave of arousal washed over you, suddenly wakening your senses like it was from the pacific. “for you?”
the tip of his tongue barely swiped at your lips, your jaw twitching slightly in reaction. “you gonna be good?”
you tried to focus on him, your blown out eyes flickering hopelessly to his lips. “i-i can try.”
and with that, jeonghan yanked your pants over your hips and down your thighs, scooting them down as you hiked your ass up slightly, hoping to tempt him as efficiently as possible. his hands found your ass again, spreading you out as you groaned. “look at you, soaking.”
you bit your lip, making a pathetic noise into the pillow to avoid talking back. “please, jeonghan.”
two fingers ran over you, and you tried to muffle your moan as best you could as your hips moved involuntarily, pushing into his fingers. he smirked down at you, wondering how far he could take you as he messily spread your arousal. “bet you could take two right now.”
“yes,” you said, gasping slightly. “please, hannie, please, i can take it.”
he pushed two fingers into you, barely even scissoring them before pushing in a third, making you bury your face in his pillow as you groaned. “i’ve been fucking you good, huh?”
you nodded frantically, pushing against his hand as steadily as you could. he noted your neediness, and indulged you by thrusting his fingers into you until you were whining rhythmically to his pace. he pulled a finger out, then another, and you instinctively threw a hand back to catch him before he pulled away completely. he laughed lightly, his hand easily overpowering yours and pressing a kiss against your shoulder blade.
“sorry, were you close?”
you exhaled sharply. “that was so mean.”
“i’ll make it up to you,” he said, pulling your hips further off the bed and pushing you further apart. he licked a wide stripe up your core, and you moaned deeply into the pillow, gripping it with all your power as his tongue expertly ran over your clit. “you taste incredible.”
you panted as you turned your head. “i thought you just ate.”
“i have a separate dessert stomach.”
your thighs buzzed and gut fluttered, and you wondered how he always managed to make you weak in the knees, even when his tongue was buried in you. it wasn’t long before you were gripping at his wrist, knuckles white, quaking as his lips guided you through your orgasm, and he lapped at your release, licking wet stripes up your inner thighs as well.
when he backed away, you exhaled again. “jeonghan-”
“what?” he asked, pushing his own pants down his thighs. he stood to drop them to the floor before straddling you again, pulling your hips back against him. “is this what you want?”
your hand found his thigh, urging him towards you. he rubbed the head of his cock, already shiny and scarlet, against your core, and you practically begged on the spot. suddenly, he pushed you into the mattress, pushing his hips against yours but fucking into your thighs. you whimpered, his cock rubbing against you absolutely deliciously, but not at all what you were expecting. he groaned into your neck, snaking a hand up under you.
“god, you’re so wet, i almost don’t even need to fuck your pussy.”
you yelped when his fingers found a nipple and pinched. “h-hannie, please-”
“please, what?”
you squirmed. “please fuck me.”
he looked at you. “you get one more try.”
for a moment, you looked back at him and your mind went blank. “please, hannie, i need your cock.”
he smiled. “was that so hard?” his tone and kisses were sweet, but completely mismatched the frustration bubbling in you as he pulled back, making you moan again as the head bumped over your clit. “do you trust me?”
“yes, baby, please just fuck me before i scream.”
with one hand on his cock, he guided himself into you, a moan tumbling from his lips as he felt you completely unsheathed for the first time. you gripped the pillow in a tighter fist as he filled you out, and it took all your concentration to not squeal in a way that absolutely would have been heard by the entire apartment. his hands gripped your waist, pulling you back onto him as he fucked into you. as you adjusted to him, you began to curse the fact that this was only temporary - you would have to go back to unreliably private quickies in a few short days - and you suddenly got the urge to really savor the way jeonghan’s cock felt in you.
he leaned over you, changing the angle ever so slightly and just enough to make you cry out, and he put a palm at the base of your neck, wrapping his fingers around it slightly as he pushed you into his pillow. “i could fuck you raw forever.”
you tried to catch your breath to respond. “i would let you.”
you internally celebrated the low groan that escaped him, and the way his hips pushed impossibly further into you. externally, you rewarded the movement with a matching moan, though you slapped a hand over your mouth when you heard the game pause in the other room.
“don’t want them to hear you, baby?”
you whimpered into your hand as jeonghan kissed a line up the side of your neck, steadily rolling into you.
“can’t even talk?”
you shakily pulled your hand away from your mouth, trying to stifle your noises with just your will. “cheol already hates me.”
“he doesn’t hate you,” he said, his voice getting slightly more labored as he continued his pace. “i bet he’d love to hear your pretty moans.”
you clamped your hand over your mouth again, resisting jeonghan’s luring the best you could. he smiled against the hollow of your ear, nipping at it slightly.
“i know you want to, baby. just let it out.”
as he spoke, he shifted his hips, making you let out a high toned moan that was barely muted by your palm, and you buried your face in the pillow to avoid jeonghan’s shiteating grin.
“i love the way you sound when i’m fucking you,” he said, his voice never raising above his lowest register. his ability to keep his cool as you were utterly falling apart was perhaps simultaneously the most aggravating and sexiest part of the whole affair. “and you always back up against me like a bitch in heat.”
you reached back for a hand, but he swiftly grabbed your wrist to push it against your lower back. your chest heaved, and you hurriedly added your other wrist to his grip. with one hand restricting your arms and the other pulling your hip back against his, he licked his lips at the sight.
“i’m going to wreck you,” he panted. “i’m going to make you forget anyone you ever fucked before me.”
you let out harsh breaths as your chest pushed into the mattress. “already have,” you managed, peeking best you could over yout shoulder to the glorious view behind you. you enjoyed the way his tongue shot out between his lips, the way he watched his cock fill you tightly. you even liked the way his hair flopped over his eyes, even if you thought he was in need of a haircut. but you especially liked that he looked like he got lost in you. like he would never want anything but you.
you came fast and hard, squeezing him temptingly as you whined into the pillow. with that, he pulled out and rolled you over, fingers hooking at your pants to pull them off completely. you bicycle kicked to help him, then practically pulled him into you as his lips crashed into yours, hands pulling you as close as he could while you both repositioned your bodies. your hand went down to position him at your entrance again, and you gasped into his mouth when he slid into you again. his teeth tugged at your bottom lip, one hand gently massaging the back of your neck as you whimpered against him.
“you’re being so good for me,” he muttered, purposefully brushing his lips against yours with every syllable. “have i finally tamed you?”
your legs wrapped around his waist. “no chance in hell.”
he grinned, letting you pull him into more sloppy kisses as he steadily pulled another orgasm from you, and you couldn’t help but want him to cum with you. his eyebrows knit as your hands dug into the hair at the base of his head, eyes barely focusing on your lips as you begged for him to cum in you.
“you’re evil.”
you could barely smile. “and you love it.”
you choked slightly, body edging into overstimulation as you came again, and jeonghan pushed up off of you to better chase his own high. he pumped into you, hard and rough, for a few more seconds before you felt suddenly empty and he was shooting hot ribbons of cum up stomach and chest.
you bit back a moan, arching your back slightly as he stared down at your chest, leaning down to lick his cum off your nipple. you gripped his hair again, squirming as he sucked lightly, lapping more cum towards the peak. you tugged at his roots slightly, pulling him up to kiss you before he got you hot and bothered again when you weren’t sure you could handle more. 
“i can’t believe you pulled out.”
jeonghan laughed in your face. “i asked if you trusted me.”
you pouted. “i thought that meant you were going to choke me out.”
he kissed you again after a short chuckle, then sat up to grab tissues. “maybe next time.”
he didn’t say it like it was a promise, but he kept it like it was one.
and when your weekend of nonstop bedroom antics was over, you admittedly had fulfilled yourselves enough that the following privacy draught was almost bearable. sure, jeonghan asked you a couple times to come sit on his lap while he worked on lab reflections, and yes, it was much less innocent than one would think, but the two of you managed to keep unfortunate walkins to a minimum, which was only made possible by finally getting it out of your system.
also because you decided your thursday 7:30 was barely worth it most weeks, and jeonghan was always happy to run over to your dorm to fool around for a few hours while your roommate was in class.
525 notes · View notes
hellpark · 4 years
Text
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TOKEN: zzz.z..zz.......,.z.,
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PHONE: *fucking buzzes*
TOKEN: mhmgngh .h guh...
TOKEN: Huh...
TOKEN: Damn... I fell asleep...
TOKEN: Who’s even calling me--
TOKEN: Oh it’s Nichole.
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TOKEN: Hey, babe...
NICHOLE: Token!
NICHOLE: Hi.
NICHOLE: Oh no, are you falling asleep?
TOKEN: No... I promise, I’m awake.
NICHOLE: Okay sure, sle py head.
TOKEN: Mmh...
TOKEN: Is everything alright?
NICHOLE: Um...
NICHOLE: I guess?
NICHOLE: I don’t kn w.
TOKEN: What does that mean.
NICHOLE: Ummmm... I think I’ll explain it when we’re at the farm.
NICHOLE: I just want d to call you and let you know we’re abo t thirty or four y minutes out still?
NICHOLE: How d d you guys even get so  far?
NICHOLE: We saw y ur car on th  way out of town...
NICHOLE: It was still in flames!
TOKEN: One of the guys... like... poofed us here...
NICHOLE: “Poofed?”
NICHOLE: “One of the guys?” Your fri nds???
NICHOLE: Baby you g tta make more s nse than that.
TOKEN: No... like...
TOKEN: A good... demon.
TOKEN: Or I guess he said he wasn’t a demon... like...
TOKEN: I dunno.
TOKEN: He helped take us here and then left.
NICHOLE: Je us, and yo  ju t trusted him?
TOKEN: Not really...
TOKEN: He was just really bent on helping us...
NICHOLE: Th t’s re ll  w
TOKEN: Babe... you’re starting to cut out...
NICHOLE: I k ow, w  re go  g t rou   th  mou   i s...
NICHOLE: W ’l   e t ere s  n.
NICHOLE: I  ove y u.
TOKEN: I love you too...
TOKEN: See you soon.
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TOKEN: [yawn]
TOKEN: Man...
TOKEN: How am I supposed to stay up this late...
TOKEN: Today’s been so wild...
KENNY: Hey, uh, Token?
TOKEN: Mn...?
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KENNY: How’s Nichole and the others?
KENNY: Not to, like... eavesdrop or anything...
TOKEN: Mm, it sounds like they’re scared...
KENNY: Makes sense.
TOKEN: She said they’re about half an hour out still.
KENNY: Damn. Sure you won’t fall asleep before then?
TOKEN: Yeah I’m gonna try and stay awake.
TOKEN: Shouldn’t be too hard.
KENNY: I feel that.
TOKEN: What about you?
TOKEN: What has you so wide awake?
TOKEN: Just about everybody but Craig is asleep now.
KENNY: Yeahhh...
KENNY: I guess I just can’t sleep.
KENNY: Got stuff on my mind.
TOKEN: Yeah, don’t we all...
KENNY: Heheh, yeah.
KENNY: So, um.
KENNY: I was just wondering, since Craig wouldn’t dare let me-- and considerin’ how he’s feeling, I don’t blame him--
KENNY: Could I borrow your phone?
TOKEN: My phone?
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KENNY: Yeah.
KENNY: I’ve been feeling pretty bad about today.
KENNY: I kinda had a manicure appointment scheduled.
TOKEN: A-- A manicure?
KENNY: Karen.
KENNY: You know how she paints my nails and such.
TOKEN: Oh, right.
KENNY: Yeah, I got her a new color and she was real excited to try it out.
KENNY: Promised her I’d help her test it.
KENNY: Also considering everything that went on back in town, I’m also just a lil worried in general.
TOKEN: That’s understandable.
KENNY: I sure hope it is!
KENNY: But um.
KENNY: Yeah, could I give her a quick call?
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TOKEN: Of course, dude.
TOKEN: Take your time.
KENNY: God, thank you.
KENNY: Times like these I wish my phone wasn’t long busted, y’know?
TOKEN: I really don’t.
KENNY: Haha, yeah, you wouldn’t.
TOKEN: Do you think she’d even be up this late?
TOKEN: We have school tomorrow and all...
KENNY: Oh, probably.
KENNY: If my parents are awake this late-- which they definitely are-- she’d be awake too.
TOKEN: Alright, well... 
TOKEN: Like I said, take your time.
KENNY: Thanks dude!
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KAREN: I totally didn’t even expect that, like!
KAREN: That show is so good with being really realistic, but also keeping the suspense up that makes you all “oh my gosh, who did it...?”
KAREN: Not that either of those really have to be sacrificed for the other, just!!!
KAREN: I like the show a lot. I like watching it with you.
KAREN: Would you maybe wanna watch more tomorrow after sch--
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KAREN: ?
TRICIA: Wow, who’s calling you this late at night?
KAREN: Oh...
KAREN: Maybe my parents...?
KAREN: I don’t know if I should ignore it or if they’d be more mad if I didn’t take it...
TRICIA: I’m surprised they even noticed you were gone.
KAREN: Yeah... I--
KAREN: I better just take it.
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KAREN: Um... hello?
KENNY: Hey Karen!
KAREN: Oh!
KAREN: Kenny?
KENNY: In the flesh phone.
KAREN: How are you calling me?
KAREN: Isn’t your phone broken?
KENNY: Yeah, borrowing a friends.
KENNY: How are you?
KAREN: I’m okay-- um.
KAREN: Are you okay?
KAREN: Where are you?
KAREN: You didn’t come home from your friends so I just thought you didn’t want to be home tonight, or...
KENNY: No, no trust me, I wanna be home more than anything.
KAREN: That’s the first time I think I’ve ever heard you say that.
KENNY: Haha.
KENNY: Well I just wanted to say I kinda got caught up in some weird sh-- some weird stuff.
KENNY: I didn’t mean to skip out on nail painting.
KENNY: I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise.
KAREN: Oh, well um...
KAREN: I kind of already painted my nails...
KENNY: Oh.
KENNY: Well... how do they look!
KAREN: Good! Tricia helped me.
KENNY: Tricia, huh?
KENNY: Did y’go and see her tonight?
KAREN: Maybe...
KENNY: Hey, beats home.
KAREN: Totally.
KENNY: Well, tell Tricia that Craig says he loves her and wishes he could be there to keep her safe.
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KAREN: Oh... r... really?
KAREN: Tricia, Kenny said that... *Craig* said that... he loves you? And wishes he were... home to keep you safe?
KAREN: I don’t really know why he’d be saying that.
TRICIA: Um, ask him what he’s on and then tell him I hate him.
KAREN: I’m not gonna say that!!!
TRICIA: He’s literally across the hallway from me, why is he being weird.
TRICIA: Why is your brother telling us this.
KAREN: Oh... yeah, um--
KAREN: Kenny, Craig is already home in his room.
KAREN: Did he tell you this earlier?
KAREN: Is everything okay?
KENNY: No, no, Craig’s here with me and the guys.
KAREN: Tricia, my brother says Craig is hanging out with Kenny.
TRICIA: Um, no?
TRICIA: I just heard his door close like two minutes ago.
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KAREN: Kenny, Tricia’s pretty sure Craig is home.
KENNY: He super isn’t.
KENNY: Craig, say hi.
CRAIG: Don’t tell Tricia I love her tell her what the fuck is wrong with you.
KENNY: See?
KENNY: Wait--
KENNY: Karen, is there someone else in the house with you guys?
KAREN: Um, just her parents... but they went to sleep a few hours ago.
KENNY: Karen...
KENNY: Whoever’s messing around in Craig’s room is not Craig.
KENNY: We’re nearly fourty miles out of town at Stan’s farm.
KAREN: Huh...?
KENNY: ...
KENNY: Lock the door and turn off the light.
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KAREN: Tricia, Kenny says we need to lock the door because...
KAREN: Um.
KAREN: There might be someone in the house... with us...
TRICIA: That’s bullshit.
KAREN: But--
TRICIA: This is a prank.
KAREN: Kenny wouldn’t play a trick on me...
TRICIA: Yeah, and Craig’s too boring, but his friends aren’t.
TRICIA: They’re probably all in on this.
KAREN: But... maybe we should still listen?
TRICIA: No, that’s what they want us to do.
KAREN: I don’t--
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TRICIA: Trust me, it’ll be fine.
TRICIA: They’re just trying to scare us.
TRICIA: We can’t let them get to us.
KAREN: T-Trish--
KAREN: Wh-what if it is someone else in the house?
KAREN: What do-- what do we do???
KAREN: I’m scared...!
TRICIA: Karen, if it really is someone bad, I’ll protect you.
TRICIA: I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.
KAREN: ...
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TRICIA: (Just stay quiet...)
TRICIA: (They’re probably expecting to hear us...)
TRICIA: (Turn your phone down, I can hear your brother yelling on the other side.)
KAREN: (U-um... okay...)
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TRICIA: ...
TRICIA: See?
TRICIA: I knew it.
TRICIA: They’re just trying to fucking scare us.
KAREN: Is that Craig?
TRICIA: Too short to be Craig, probably their idiot friend Clyde or something.
TRICIA: HEY!
TRICIA: You’re not tricking us.
TRICIA: Stop shitting on our night you freaks, get a life!
KAREN: T-Tricia, your parents are sleeping--
TRICIA: They’re heavy sleepers, trust me--
TRICIA: Are you listening to me? Get the fuck out of here and don’t try and scare Karen again.
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TRICIA: I’ll kick ALL your asses if you d...
TRICIA: If you don’t... g...
KAREN & TRICIA: a...
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GREGORY & ESTELLA: 
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TRICIA: Okay maybe your brother was right.
KAREN: T-T-Tricia I think th- I think we should close th--
KAREN: We sh-should close the door, I, um. Um.
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TRICIA: Yeah.
TRICIA: Yeah.
TRICIA: Okay.
TRICIA: Tell your brother sorry and hang up.
TRICIA: We’ll lock the door.
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KAREN: K-Kenny um.
KAREN: Yeah there’s someone else here.
KAREN: Sorry.
KAREN: I love you.
KAREN: Talk to you soon.
KENNY: Wait-- K--
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3K notes · View notes
ultimatetornshipper · 3 years
Text
Daminette December Day 7
@daminette-december2019-2020
((Note: If you’re a confused little muffin who saw our ship in the top 100 list and you want to know what in the ever loving fuck we are, feel free to dm me or mention me in a post or even to send an ask. do be warned tho that if u send me hate i will block and report u (and not just to tumblr, to everyone I know who is part of this fandom). our little sub fandom is not a toxic space and no one is allowed to make it one or there will be a fucking war))
And we’re back to our anxiety induced in denial Damian. I love this kid. Tho I do wanna make him slightly more… how do I say this… like cold? I dunno maybe I can bring that in with other people and his interactions. I just wanna write him with his proper grammar and what not and like lbh this boi is already a simp for Mari. But I don’t wanna let things happen too quickly, y’know?
Anyway, maybe I should make the theme of this chapter the fact that he has absolutely no chill. Lmao, I think that’s hilarious ngl. Also I’m just gonna pretend certain things existed back then for the sake of my sanity I can’t keep coming up with words that make sense for explaining what a thing is without saying the actual word because it didn’t exist yet. The hologram in that one chapter was hard enough bruh
Ok here we go, thanks for reading! I hope u enjoy it
Princes and Pedestals
Chapter 7 – Chill
Previous
Next
Damian rolled the ring between his fingers as the morning light filtered through his windows. She’d put the choice in his hands, it was a kind thing to do, smart too. It made sense, if this role was as important as she made it sound it needed someone who could commit to it.
The miraculous was the kind of black that seemed to stretch on forever. It had a bright green paw print on it. He hadn’t put it on yet but from what he could gather it’s kwami would appear as soon as he put it on.
He'd be one of the leaders of an entire Order. He had no idea how big it was. His mother had raised him to lead but that was an entirely different organization. How would Marinette react to that? Could he handle the responsibility?
These thoughts had been plaguing him from the moment he picked up the ring.
But that wasn’t what got to him the most. She was just so… good. She had even agreed to move her entire court to Gotham for his sake. To uproot her entire life and move everyone involved just so that he could stay with his family.
There had to be a catch.
There always is.
He sighed, overthinking everything wasn’t going to help him make this decision.
There was only one thing he could do.
He put on the ring and a bright light caught him off guard. A small floating cat like being appeared in front of him.
“Kid?” he kept his eyes closed as though he didn’t want to see who was in front of him, his voice breaking slightly.
Slowly, the kwami – Plagg if he remembered correctly - opened his eyes. Damian stared at him as disappointment flitted across the creature’s face.
He lifted his brow and asked, “Hope to see someone else, Plagg?”
He chuckled slightly, sadness lacing the sound, “My previous holder, thought maybe I'd get the chance to say goodbye this time,”
Damian frowned, “What do you mean?”
Plagg frowned, “You don’t know about my previous holder? Who gave you my miraculous?”
“Marinette did,” he said, simply, “She actually just gave me the chance to consider the offer of the position, I have the rest of the day to get to know you and make my decision,”
Plagg seemed to consider what he said, he then sat down on the bed in front of Damian. He explained the basics of the miraculous to him, the phrases he needed to use as well as what those phrases would do. The things he’d need as well as what behaviors he might pick up.
“Purring?” Damian said in a disbelieving voice, “You’re telling me I might start purring in my civilian form?”
Plagg cackled, “Yeah, don’t worry it’s not that bad,”
“Tt, what exactly is the purpose of it? In fact what exactly is my purpose? It seems like she has the leadership thing under control,”
Plagg seemed to sober up at the question, he flew up right in front of Damian’s face and looked him in the eyes, “Her job is to lead and look after her court,” his look sharpened and he narrowed his eyes, “Your job is to look after her, your job is to protect her, your job is to see her. Your purpose is to make hers as easy as possible. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll have other official responsibilities and you will rule alongside her, but your real job? Your purpose? You have to help her remember that she’s only human and that that’s okay,”
Damian stared at Plagg, the kwami stared back. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? There had to be something. Some kind of catch.
Before he could grill the kwami, Dick burst into his room.
Damian could see his brother’s clear panic and immediately stood. Dick’s eyes found his, “She’s gone,”
Damian felt himself spiral, memories flew through his mind. All the times he or any of his siblings had been taken. Cass didn’t speak for a month after the last incident. Jason’s “secret" panic attacks had increased tremendously. Tim stayed up for nights on end, only sleeping when he passed out. Damian sparred for hours and hours, hating the feeling of being useless. 
His father and Dick weren’t in Gotham at the time and Selina was helping Harley with one of her ‘projects’.
When they got Steph back after a week, she was so shook up that she kept waking up screaming from nightmares for months.
They all blamed themselves.
“Her kwami showed us a letter she left but someone could’ve faked it to buy time, they’re searching the village,” Jason said, coming into his room, holding a piece of parchment.
Damian barely registered the way Plagg seemed to study his reactions. They needed to find her, it was already afternoon, who knows how far gone she could be?
They spent hours scouring the castle. Before he knew it the moon was rising and they were all gathered in the living room, going over possibilities.
“I’m going to go get Alfred and Bruce, this has been going on long enough, it’s time to call in back up. It’s already passed nightfall and she’s not back yet,” Dick walked out of the room, barely two seconds passed before he shouted something to them, “Guys I found her!”
They were out quicker than a lightning bolt. He ignored his siblings as they all flocked around her. He took her in.
She was wearing a cloak, which Jason quickly took and gave to a passing maid. She wore one of her black dresses. Her hair was in a braid.
But the cloak was dirty, the dress had tears and the braid was messy.
But it was her eyes that got him. The blue irises looked like someone had taken every drop of sadness in the world and left it in them. They were red rimmed and puffy and there were black bags under them.
She’d been crying and she hadn’t slept. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.
Somewhere along the line, they moved back into the living room. Cass was sitting next to Marinette on the couch and the others were arguing.
Damian couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was here. She was safe. She wasn’t taken.
Cass tapped his arm, he turned to look at her and she started signing. (a/n ok yeah I know that sign language might not have existed but do I really care?)
Get her out of here, she’s tired, Cass signed.
Damian nodded and after asking her permission and scolding his siblings, he escorted her to her room.
Plagg whispered something to her that he couldn’t hear. 
Then she apologized for scaring him and he explained his thought process. She explained that he would’ve been able to know via their miraculous whether she was in trouble or not. He made a mental note to ask Plagg more about that.
When they got to her room he opened her door. She was about to go in but he grabbed her hand, stopping her. She looked at him expectantly. He searched her gaze, he had so much he wanted to ask her, why she’d been crying was at the top of that list.
But she looked so tired, and Damian just couldn’t get himself to form the words. Instead he bid her goodnight and went back to the living room where his siblings were waiting.
All eyes turned to him when he entered. He didn’t know what to say. Instead of thinking his words through he blurted out the first thing he thought.
“She didn’t flinch when our eyes met,” he said. They all stared at him for a few seconds. Usually they would’ve laughed at his bluntness, Damian is certain, but there was something about the haunted look on her face that sapped all humor out of the situation.
Jason was crouched in front of the fire. Stephanie sat on one of the chairs while Dick leaned against its armrest. Damian was next to Cassandra on the couch and the five of them sat in silence.
Millions of questions danced through the air, the answers all just out of reach.
Little did they know that they weren’t the only ones with questions.
Outside, three pairs of eyes were watching the oblivious siblings closely.
Damian felt a chill go down his spine and turned towards the window. He walked over and stared out into the forest, he didn’t see anyone but the uneasy feeling wouldn’t leave him.
He closed the curtains.
The smallest of the three chuckled slightly, “She got herself a paranoid one, huh?”
“We need to head back,” the only guy out of the three said to the others.
They nodded and followed him deeper into the forest.
Taglist:
@animegirlweeb @loysydark @toodaloo-kangaroo @forgottenfriends @wolf-for-life @heyitsbugette @f-rget-lt @fusser90
107 notes · View notes
yamithediaperdork · 3 years
Text
My little brothers revenge part 3
The next 2 weeks flew by after that, with the only strange thing being that Justin started to have A LOT of close call's with getting to the backroom on time and was leaving a ton of skid marks in his pants, and that Justin had also apparently seen the error in his ways and had asked to try and host a D&D session for Alex and his friends to make up for everything he'd done.
Naturally of course Alex wasn't sure about whether or not to trust Justin, but then the bully had gone out of his way to get permission from their parents for Alex to have all of his friends over while they were gone for the session to happen.
"I just think with how rough he's had it lately, he could use a treat, and it'll be a good bonding experience for us since he's kinda too small to play football with me and the guys." Justin had said, acting sheepish.
After that Alex had dialed back the amount of ex-lax he'd been sneaking into Justin's drink's since he felt just awful about trying to make Justin a diaper boy when he was being so nice.
Of course Ben warned him it could just be a trap and to keep up the treatment (and had asked for pictures of Alex next time he had a uh-oh accident as payment for his words of wisdom) But Alex choice to believe in Justin, a choice he would come to regret.
With their parents gone Saturday morning, most of the day was spent with Alex helping Justin go over the rules for the campaign in the morning, and then hanging out and playing with his friends in the afternoon while Justin went out to hang with Grizz and Rayne.
"Man, hard to believe that Justin is being such a cool guy." Lyle said and winced as they were walking back from the park, having played a game of touch football with some younger kids (and having gotten their butts kicked, which only confirmed Alex's belief he was NOT meant to play the damn game)
"areeee you sure he's on the up and up on this?" Kyle asked, rubbing at his arm where a 5 year old had punched him.
"What? Guys come on, it's the four of US vs. him if he tries anything. we can take him!" Alex said full of misplaced pride and swagger even as he had a slight limp.
"..you realize a group of five year olds just whooped us right?" Max asked, Pausing to spit out more dirt from when he'd been driven into the ground.
"Yeah but there was a equal number of them to us and they were all sneaky like ninjas." Alex said, waving a hand. "Sides, worse case go for the nuts. it's like the weak spot on the death star."
"You've been going to your mom's self defense class again haven't you?" Max asked and chuckled.
"...Maybe." Alex huffed.
"heh, just don't" Lyle started.
"Scream out 'he's got my purse!' this time." Kyle finished and the rest of the losers club laughed while Alex blushed and fumed.
"Guys it was ONE time, let it goooo!"
While the losers club was out and playing their little games, Justin and the boys were getting everything ready for the pampering.
as it turned out the old crib wasn't going to be big enough for even just one of the boys, while the old playpen might of fit two at most though it would be cramped.
Thankfully two solutions provided themselves in this, their darkest hour in the form of finding a old car seat of Justin's that looked big enough to MAYBE hold Alex, and a old high chair that would hold Max for sure.
"So..how are we going to hide ALL of this upstairs? I know Alex and his friends are dorks, but their not stupid." Grizz asked.
"Oh, what if we went and put like sheets over them, and tell them their ghosts!" Rayne suggested eagerly.
"...Rayne buddy why don't you go have a juice box." Justin said, patting the hulking boys back.
"Kay!"
as the muscle bound boy headed up to the fridge for some apple juice, Grizz and Justin exchanged looks.
"Man, he's our friend and everything, but Jesus.. does he eat paint chips or something?" Grizz asked.
"Go ahead and ask him, I'll go and get the bucket to mop you up after he creams you." Justin chuckled. "Ok ok..back to the problem at hand..We could Make get the high chair in the broom closet, and the playpen all folded up in the linen closet. Car seat, I dunno.."
"Yeahhh whole lotta time to waste between getting them pampered and getting them in they're seats." Grizz agreed then added with a blush.. "and I didn't go though all the humiliation of buying 4 packs of those discount diapers just for them to go to waste."
By now Rayne was coming back down the steps with his juice box and smiled and waved a hand.
"heh, Yes Rayne?" Justin asked, waiting for the stupid idea to come out.
"What if like, you have the playpen and stuff all set up down here but hidden behind some stuff and we just send up the gaming area down here. you can claim you wanna set a atmosphere for the game, capture the feeling of going though a dungeon." Rayne said and smiled big time.
"...H-U-H..Man Rayne, you need to drink apple juice more often!" Justin chuckled. "Good idea!"
"nah, then i get the poops." Rayne said but grinned big time.
"..Noted?" Grizz said/asked with a sweat drop.
It was after supper, and with bellies full of Pizza and root beet, the boys made they're way down the dusty (though not as dusty as before) basement, the twins semi hugging each other as the basement's lights only worked in two of the four areas, casting long scary shadows.
Max was mostly ok, though he could of sworn he'd seen something move out of the corner of his eye.
"Uh..Alex,Justin, you guys sure you don't have rats?" he asked, a twinge of worry in his voice.
"Oh yeah, we get checked regularly, Dad's TERRIFIED of them, it's why we can't go to Disney world." Alex said, laughing though he was getting a little bit creeped out being in the basement after dark.
still he wanted to try and support Justin who clearly was making a effort. plenty of large blankets had been rolled out onto the stone floor and a coffee table was set up in the middle, not on the blankets but they were bunched around it.
there were books and note pads and pencils and dice, all the great makings for a table top game and Alex turned to smile at his friends as they took in the site.
coming around the table and looking at the set up, the boys all whistled and Alex smirked at his friends under the pale light of the basement.
"See? I told you guys we could trust Justin!" he beamed.
"heh, Oh?" Justin asked.
"Yeah, the guys were kinda worried you were gonna pull something." Alex said, rubbing the back of his head. "Buttt I knew you were trying ..to.." Alex trailed off as he saw the look on his brothers face.
"Yeahhh about that, maybe listen to your friends next time." Justin advised.
"Whatever! It's four on one Justin, we CAN and WILL kick your butt!" Alex said, balling up his fists and looking over his shoulder to his friends.
The twins and Max nodded back and got ready to fight but Justin didn't look too concerned.
"oh no, Four little dorks who already got their butts kicked by five year olds and they're threatening me. what ever will I do. Oh woe is me." Justin said, putting the back of his hand to his forehead in a dramatic fashion then grinning and snapping his fingers. "Oh wait, I know..Grizz, Rayne, wanna help me get our soon to be slaves dressed and ready for they're new life's of cooking, cleaning and doing homework for us?" Justin said.
two shadows moved out from behind a pile of boxes and indeed there was Justin's buddy's.
"Oh, by the way, feel free to fight back, but anyone who does gets a spanking. if your GOOD little boys, we'll get you dressed with minimal fussing." Justin added.
Alex of course chose to fight, as did Max since he had to have his buddies back.
the two of them lunged at Justin going for a combo knee and groin attack but Justin caught Alex in the air and just hoisted him over his shoulder with Alex's head and arms over his back and yanked down Alex's pants with his free hand and started to slap the boys butt, getting howls of pain from him.
Max meanwhile had gotten his ankle grabbed by Rayne as he went to leap and was tugged back and put under Rayne's beefy arm and much like Alex, pants were yanked down and his butt was slapped, Max howling away as Rayne giggled and gave Justin a silly grin.
"it's like I'm playing the bongo's!" he giggled childishly.
Lyle and Kyle meanwhile had taken inventory of how sore they already were, how big and strong Justin and his friends were and had just stayed put, holding each other hands while Grizz looked down at them and smirked.
"heh, so your gonna be good boys?" Grizz asked.
Both twins nodded then jumped at the sounds coming from their friends.
"H-hey! stop that! They'll-" Lyle started, looking at Alex and Max who's buns where getting red even with their undies protecting them.
"-Be good boys like us! Come on, Please stop?" Kyle finished, wincing and fighting the urge to bury his face in his brothers shoulder.
"Hmm I dunno.. Alex, are you gonna be a good boy or make your widdle friends into liars?" Justin asked, pausing for a second.
Alex of course had been beating on Justin's back, for all the good it had done him and was now stood in front of Justin, tears running down his face and pants around his ankles.
Likewise, Max was set on his feet, though the tears weren't as free flowing and he gave a glare at the Twin's who suddenly found something VERY interesting to look at at the floor so they could avoid eye contract.
"Hey now, none of that Maxie, those two might of just gotten you out of the 5 minutes spanking we had planned." Justin said.
"F-Five Minutes?" Alex whimpered, and put a hand to his sore butt. it already hurt so much from just 30 seconds!!
"well give or take a bout 30 seconds." Justin said and smirked.
a hissing sound was heard and it didn't take a genius to figure out what it was, as Alex started to sob heavily as a puddle started to form under him where his accidents wasn't being soaked up by his pants.
"well, I'm gonna count that as a third vow to be a good boy..what do you say Max, wanna make it four for four?" Justin asked.
"Rot in hell! I'll never give in!" Max vowed.
Never as it turned out lasted all of anther 40 seconds then Max had a accident too. Following a quick clean up that would keep the boys from making puddles all the way up the stairs, Justin had Alex and Max take a quick bath together to both boys embarrassment, with Justin supervising to 'keep them out of trouble' while the Twin's mopped up the piddle accidents and got the wet clothes in the wash under the watchful eyes of Rayne and Grizz.
since the cat was out of the bag so to speak Rayne and Grizz had the twins help them bring the supplies for tonight's fun up into the living room, the urine smell in the basement being a big deciding factor.
The twins had a very good idea what was gonna happen as they carried the packs of diapers upstairs for the bullies, as well as a bag of dirty socks.
Well ok, the twins knew what the diapers and baby furniture was for, but the socks stumped them.
"Um..Mister Rayne?" Lyle asked, and held the bag up with one hand, the other being used to hold his nose.
"Hmm? me? Oh I'm just Rayne kiddo. what's up." Rayne said, confused at first but then smiling.
"I think I get most of what your planning, but why the stinky socks?" Lyle asked, looking over as Kyle was being a super good helper and getting the playpen set up, even though the look on his face made it clear he didn't wanna be helping at all.
"Oh the socks are for..are for.." And Rayne trailed off, and rubbed the back of his head, then turned to Grizz. "Hey Grizz, what are the socks for again?"
"We're gonna get the babies who aren't doing homework to wear them on both hands, one hand for the ones who are, and use about 3 socks per hand and tape for make shift baby mitts." Grizz called over.
"Ohhh yeahh..So that." Rayne said and smiled brightly.
"B-But why stinky socks? I don't wanna get athletes foot on my hands!" Lyle whined and whimpered.
"Oh! this part I do 'member! it's cuz you won't be tempted to try and tug'em off with your teeth after those socks have been on me and Justin's and Grizz's feet!" Rayne said, ever so proud of himself that he'd recalled that much.
"I..but..Ewwwww!" Lyle whined and started to cry.
"oh hey hey, look, it's just kinda fair if you think about it!" Rayne said, pulling the smaller boy into a hug.
"H-How so?" Lyle sniffled.
"well we're gonna hafa smell you guys when your blort your diapers. So see? it all works out!"
Somehow not only was this NOT a comfort for the twins, but started Kyle bawling too.
With Alex and Max washed nice and clean, they huffed and pouted as they were marched down stairs in just they're towels and were greeted to the site of of Lyle and Kyle (Aka mentally labeled the traitors in both boys minds) sitting side by side in Alex's old playpen wearing nothing but three pairs of dirty white socks on each hand that were taped up at the wrist with green masking tape and at least 4 pairs of white and pink diapers around their hips.
Finishing the look off as a bib around each twins hip, Lyle had Big bird on his while his brother was rocking cookie monster.
"Heh, nice touch with the bibs!" Justin commented. "I was gonna let them keep their shirts on."
"Well you know, I found a box of them in the basement and thought, why not?" Grizz said.
The twins had tear stains on their cheeks and Justin raised a eyebrow at that.
"Did they have to get spanked too?" He asked.
"Oh nah, just had a little sob feast. kinda shocked it didn't happen sooner. they ARE babies after all." Rayne giggled.
"So what do you have picked out for our two little naughty boys to wear?" Justin asked, chuckling and yanking the towels off of the younger boys who yelped and covered themselves despite the fact that A) they had both already seen everything B) so had Justin and C) they we gonna have to move their hands once they were diapered.
"Well I was thinking something retro, and classy at the same time." Grizz said, taking on a snobbish voice and making the other bullies smirk. "Something that screams 'I'm a big dumb baby slave, but at least I can do homework.' You know, a look for the ages."
"I see I see. Looks like you two little brainiac's get to do our homework while we supervise the good boys. And Don't even THINK of fucking it up. We'll be taking all SORTS of pictures of you dweebs in all your big baby glory and won't be shy about sharing it with your classmates." Justin chuckled and then pointed over to the changing mat's on the floor.
"J-Justin come on, do we HAVE to wear diapers?" Alex tried one last time.
"Alex I'm shocked, don't tell me you WANNA run around in the buff all night!" Justin said.
somehow the boy's blush got worse and along with Max he scrambled over to the changing mat's without further argument.
thickly diapered and one hand in the make shift baby mitts (Left hand for Alex and right hand for Max) and sporting Elmo themed for Max and Oscar the grouch for Alex, the last two of the loser's club was living up to it's name.
Max had been put in a old wooden high chair which even as small and shrimpy as he was was still a tight fit and had the bullies English and Social studies homework out in front of him.
Alex meanwhile had oddly easier been strapped into a old car seat and pulled up to the coffee table and handed the Math and science homework.
"Since when do you even get this much homework over one weekend?" Alex had asked, eyes going wide.
"Oh yeah, we asked for extra homework to make up for our falling grades. our teachers loved we were trying. So again. Don't make us look bad." Justin said and ruffled Alex's hair, making the huffy diapered shrimp squirm and try and get away.
"I can't believe I actually thought you were turning over a new leaf." Alex huffed and sulked.
"Honestly, neither could I, but you just wanted it to be true sooo bad~ Though I'm not without a degree of mercy." Justin chuckled and at that moment Grizz came in and set a baby bottle full of milk on Max's tray, then on in reach of Max.
Meanwhile the twins were being handed one each by Rayne and just took them with some difficulties in both hands and started to drink, they they wrinkled they're noses.
"heh, I guess the socks kinda keep you from fully enjoying the moo juice. Ah well, not my problem. I expect that ba-ba drained in a hour little man, I don't need you getting all dehydrated with all the crying and pissing you've been doing." Justin snickered and after handing Alex his ba-ba, walked away.
For a tiny split second Alex was tempted to grab the bottle and toss it at Justin, but then his common sense kicked in stead and he went to work, pausing every so often to drink the oddly sweet milk.
The twins tummies were starting to hurt as they chugged down they're milk but with the lack of room in the playpen and their stinky sock mitten's they weren't sure if they were gonna be able to pick the bottle back up if they put them down.
Since they had maybe already lost they're friends after betraying them before, they had silently agreed to just try and be the best big babies they could tonight since there was no point in getting a spanking now anyways.
"Sheesh, I guess that sob feast they had really dried them up. Careful little guys you're gonna give yourselves gas bubbles!" Rayne said, looking almost legitimately concerned.
"heh, don't tell me you're going soft on us man." Grizz teased, lightly elbowing Rayne side.
"Huh? no, I just don't wanna have to burp them and risk getting spit up on me."
"..You uh, Know their not REALLY babies right?" Justin asked after a second. "So I don't think that's gonna be a worry."
the mental image of being held in the bullies arms and being burped like a oversized baby wasn't exactly appealing to Kyle who slowed his chugging down but Lyle seemed to speed his up.
"..heh, I think one of them WANTS to be burped!" Grizz said.
Tugging his ba-ba out quick Lyle went to defend himself but in stead let out a massive belch that did kinda make his tummy feel better.
Kyle on the other hand took the other option when it came to gas relief as before anyone could say anything about the burp, a muffled long fart came out of Kyle's behind and the boys eyes went wide as saucers making it clear who had cut the cheese.
"Sheesh, couple of Gas holes over here." Justin laughed then wrinkled his nose, taking a step back. "Ugh, If his FARTS smell this bad.."
"yeahhh Maybe we shouldn't of put all that laxative powder in there." Rayne said, rubbing the back of his head.
With THAT announcement all four boys who had been taking a drink, Lyle having just put his bottle back up to his mouth dropped them and looked at the bullies.
"Rayne, they weren't suppose to know about that." Scolded Justin, then he grinned like a Cheshire cat.
"oh..uh sorry. How can I make it up to you?" Rayne said, while all four of the diapered losers club squirmed and whined in their baby prison's.
"Guess who gets to change all four stinkers himself?" Justin asked.
"Grizz? that's not fair he did- ...OH!...oh." Rayne started to argue, but then his face lit up as he got it, then fell as he got it.
Hearing about how the milk had been tainted, Alex grabbed his and was trying to pry the lid off to dump it out when Justin came over and shook his head.
"Ah ah ah, Bad baby brother! I guess you're gonna have to take a homework break so big brother can bottle feed you." Justin scolded, getting Alex out of the car seat and into his lap while Justin sat on the floor, pressing and rubbing the nipple on Alex's closed mouth.
"Open up little man, it's either you drink your special ba-ba and make 'present's for big brother or I get out the enema kit mom got for dad." Justin said.
Alex's eyes widen and he stared at his brothers face, wondering if Justin would really actually use that horrible looking thing on him..then recalling he was currently dressed like a big baby and opened his mouth.
"Good boy! Guess i could of just made you drink it on your own with that threat..eh, Your kinda cute like this. In a total loser big baby sorta way." Justin snickered.
Alex suckled down fast and hard, just wanting to get it over with and glared at Justin, willing himself to be able to make his asshole of a big brother end up crapping HIMSELF before Alex fudged his huggies.
As the cramps started to build in his tummy, Alex didn't think that was going to happen.
Seeing Alex being bottle fed by his brother and Grizz coming over Max gulped and gave a sheepish smile.
"I..Don't suppose you could just take the nipple off so i can chug this and get it over with huh?" He tried.
"heh, I suppose so. at least then I don't have to worry about burping the nerdy baby." Grizz said and started to unscrew the top. "But just so you know, if you try and just dump it out, I'll be tanning your ass for 5 minutes strait, then just giving you a enema."
Whether it was the threat itself, or the fact Max had loaded up on fluids on the way home he'd never be sure, but the poor boy gasped and whimpered as a hissing was heard and he soaked his diaper.
"Heh, We got our first wet diaper! Man, you must have a hair trigger bladder huh?" Grizz asked, and offered the opened ba-ba to Max. "Bottoms up soggy pants."
Whining softly but knowing he was stuck (in more ways then one with his diaper bloating out in the high chair) Max gave a week smile and drank as fast as he could.
The twins meanwhile had been given new instructions by Rayne who had decided if he was gonna have four sets of poopie diapers to change, he might as well get a cute site first.
The nicest of the three bullies (if only due to his lower IQ) he'd understood when Lyle and Kyle hadn't been abler to get they're ba-ba's picked up between the cramped space and the baby mitt and had picked up their bottle's and handed them to the other.
"Um..Rayne? I-I had more of my ba-ba gone." Kyle said meekly. "This is Lyle's."
"I Know, I want you to bottle feed each other, it'll look so cute!" he said and then with a big of shuffling around got them facing each other. "Your twin brothers so you're both close..So go on, help you brother drink up!" He encouraged them both.
Knowing better then to argue, the Twins shifted around and worked out how to get their arms out of the way of the other then both were drinking up, eyes closed and noses wrinkled from the smell of the socks, and the mini poots that were escaping almost constantly now as they were almost finished their ba-ba's.
As such with they're eyes closed they didn't see that Rayne had grabbed Justin's camera phone (After losing three cells of his own, Rayne wasn't trusted with one anymore.) and snapped a few pictures of the cuteness in front of him, and when they finished he fished them both out of the playpen and had them each put a head over one of his shoulders, apparently having gotten over his stance on burping them.
As they felt the big strong pats on their back and looked at each other over the simple giants shoulder, both twins wet their diapers at the same time but just like how they normally talked, one would burp then the other then the first one, back and forth till Rayne was sure he'd gotten all the gas bubbles out.
The twin's weren't sure how they felt about this, since Clearly Rayne was strong enough to support BOTH of them with just one hand making them feel even smaller then before, though it DID feel good to get all that gas out even if they're tummies were still cramping big time now.
"Feel better little guys?" Rayne asked, smirking.
Lyle started to nod while Kyle went to say something, but that was when the ba-ba's special ingredient kicked in. Both twins stiffened and little gasps came out of their mouths but that was nothing compared to the torrent of muck that poured out of their backside as the pink and white diapers rapidly expanded and even with the slits cut in them it was clear they were rapidly approaching a overflow point.
"Sheesh, that didn't take long." Grizz said, holding his nose.
"Oh man, their fucking toxic!" Justin complained.
between the sick sounding wet farts you could HEARD the diapers crackling as they fought to keep up but it wouldn't be till the diapers were fully loaded that they Twins would snap out of their shocked silence.
Rayne went to say something to comfort them but it was like a shrill alarm going off as both twin once again started wailing and crying, and Rayne winced, his own nose wrinkling.
"Uhh.. Can I just go and hose them off in the back yard?" He semi shouted, trying to be heard over the twins.
"Are you kidding? they'd alert the whole block as to whats going on!" Justin said, gagging a little. "Oh Man..I did NOT think this though..."
"Well what did you expect a dirty diaper was gonna smell like?" Alex huffed, though he was making grossed out faces too, plus knew that was his future."Sun shrine and rainbows?!"
"Also it's WAY too cold out to clean them up outside anyways Rayne, you'll make them sick."Max pointed out
"You two, shut up and get back to work. and Rayne..I know we were gonna make them sit in it but for the sake of everyone noses, change them now....and uh, take them to the basement to do it." Justin huffed.
Rayne nodded and off he went with the little stinkers and Grizz turned to Justin.
"Ahhh.. maybe we'll just use the pictures of them, but let them take dumps in the potty..I mean.. " he was saying, moving to go and open some windows.
"Ngggh, you might be onto something there." Justin said, then noticed Max and Alex exchanging looks and smirking. "..what's with the looks?"
"It seems to me, like the balance of power has shifted." Max said with a evil grin.
"Unless you WANT us unleashing hell in our diapers over and over again, you're gonna knock all of this off now, and hand over the pictures." Alex said smugly.
"Are you REALLY trying to threaten us with stinky diapers?" Grizz asked, half amused half in disbelief.
"If you thought the twin's were stinky they don't hold a candle up to Max, and Justin you know how bad I can be when I'm NOT loaded with ex-lax."
"..Mistakes have been made." Justin groaned, face palming.
"Are you kidding me?! I went though all that embarrassment and blew all that money on diapers and we're gonna cave in now?" Grizz huffed, looking pissed.
Max left out a poot and that fresh tears to the bullies eyes.
"Consider that a preview of whats to come." Max said and gave a evil laugh. "and tick tock guys.. us 'babies' can only hold it for sooo long~"
"Look Grizz, I'm sorry but unless you wanna be the one helping Rayne change diapers." Justin started to say, cut off by Rayne's cry of horror from the basement. "Then the plan failed."
"This is fucking bullshit!" Grizz huffed and then stormed out of the living room, grabbing his jacket.
"Grizz come on! wait!"
"No way man, screw you! I'm going home!" Grizz growled back and took off, slamming the door.
"...Well I hope your happy now!" Justin huffed at the big babies.
"Oh, we will be.. but first.. socks off and let us out of our baby prisons." Alex said, then smirked. "and don't worry, I have a feeling the diapers WON'T be going to waste."
For the first time since this little war had started, Justin felt a pang of worry.
In the aftermath, only the twins ended up messing their diapers and once Rayne found out the plan had fallen though he sulked and huffed and stormed off home too to do the extra class work that no one else was gonna do for him now.
The Pictures were turned over as promised and Justin figured Alex just deleted them, never suspecting that they were kept for blackmail power of a sort later on, and while no one else had a smelly diaper that night, all four boys kept wearing one just in case.
The twins were forgiven by Max and Alex after a bit, mostly due to how traumatized they seemed from having made such big stinkies and having to get cleaned up and had sucked on their thumbs when they weren't playing video games with Max and Alex, though they had conked out hard shortly after.
Justin, as the last bully standing, got the 'honor' of taking the shovel and going out to the trail to 'bury the treasure' and was less then happy when he came back and got told to go to bed and rest up, he was going to need it.
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How do you even know that Itachi likes you? Like waaay early on, when you still don't know each other well, but from what information is available to him so far, he's taken a liking to you? (And he doesn't know if you like him) Cause he's so quiet and hard to read. Are there any give aways? I imagine they are REALLY subtle, but I dunno. What do you think?
I got u man. This is my gorilla brain rambling again, no headcanons. Just me thinkin’ u know?? This is also ridiculously long lol. I got carried away and it turned into almost an imagine?? 
I will put an angst warning, this made my chest hurt. I physically can’t bring myself to write something happy about him, because this beautiful man’s life is SO SAD. I’m so sorry.
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Sooo. I don’t think you would ever really know that Itachi truly likes you?? Like you could be in an actual relationship with him, and then be like.. WAIT! DOES HE LIKE ME?? The answer is yes, he does. 
To answer your ask, I’m going to go with him just seeing you around and sharing one worded conversations with you. He thinks you’re attractive, and you seem nice. Your smile makes him wanna smile. It’s cute. He might stare a little bit, but you take it as he’s unsure about you. He takes it as an OH SHIT, I THINK THEY SAW ME STARING. Has an internal monologue around you 24/7. He doesn’t need this in his life. He doesn’t want this in his life. Then he sees you smile again and he’s like damn IT.
You think he’s interesting. You’ve been around for a few weeks, and you can’t recall ever seeing him smile. You know he’s Itachi Uchiha.. The guy that killed his WHOLE family. Something feels wrong about it though. He really doesn’t seem like the type, granted you don’t even know him. You want to though. Honestly, you feel like Itachi actively avoids you. He totally does. He doesn’t want to get close to you. He can’t. 
You start to notice little things that he does. If he makes himself tea, he makes a little extra. He does it as an off handed thought. He noticed that you like tea too, so he thinks of it as saving your time. When you tell him your favorite flower, he comes back from his next mission with them. He says that he saw the flowers on the way home, and thought you would like to have them. They’re slightly crumpled, but you smile at him like he’s the light of your world. He wishes he was.
He seems to realize what he’s doing. He’s giving you hope. He’s giving himself hope. He is going to die. You deserve someone better, someone that can hold you, give you a family, live out a life with you. He closes himself back up, and you’ll be back on a one word basis with him again. At this point in time, you begin to realize that you are fond of him. This broody, quiet man has pushed into your heart. It hurts when you realize he’s back to avoiding you. 
You don’t care about him killing his family. You don’t care that he tells you all the time that you should just stay away. You want to know him. Even if it is as just a friend. You can’t stop yourself from wanting more. Of course you want more, but you don’t push. Slowly, you start to bring him back things that he likes too. Itachi has been watching you all this time, but what he doesn’t realize is that you had been watching him too. A book you think he will like here, his favorite tea that you happen to see in a shop there. 
He can’t help himself. He opens back up to you. You stay up and spend nights talking, and sharing stories. You notice the fondness in his features when he talks about his childhood, you can hear the pain in his voice when he speaks about his brother. You know then for sure, the man sitting next to you is not a monster. He’s just a man. A broken man. Someone who needs a friend. 
Months later, you finally gain enough nerve to kiss him. It’s soft, and his lips are chapped. He never kisses you back though. You start to apologize, but Itachi cuts you off with a soft, “We can’t.” Your nerve isn’t quite gone yet and your words startle him, “The only one stopping this is you.” He knows you are right. He feels it in his chest. He tells you the truth that night. He tells you everything, and he expects you to shun him. Turn away. Run and tell the others the truth.
You don’t though. You sit steadily next to him. Then you reach out for him. Your hands brush the hair away from his face, and you climb to settle on his thighs. This time when you kiss him, you want him to know. He kisses you back, and even though your hands are quivering, and your almost crying against his mouth, he knows what the kiss means. It’s a promise. A promise to stay beside him, to keep his secret, to love him until he is gone. 
He knows this time, as he looks at you in the candlelight. You were made for him. He was made for you. It doesn’t stop the dread in his chest. The dryness in his throat at the thought of leaving you alone. He’s so sorry, can’t you tell? He never wanted this. He should stop you, he should make you leave, he should kill you. 
But he can’t. He just can’t. Not after you say it, “I love you, Itachi.” He knows. God, does he know. He’s so sorry. 
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magickedhat · 3 years
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🙊💬 + fox but only if u feel like it!! <3
"Hmmm. Adorable, dashing, clever, not too bad at escaping through shady alleys, would probably sell your soul for one piece of dusty strawberry candy? I like to think he'd make an exception for me, though." They're grinning, for they can only imagine the face he'd make if he were to hear everything they'd just said. An averted gaze, flushed cheeks, perhaps some stuttered words. It was precisely what made him so adorable.
For a brief second, Wren paused. What more should they say? The question asked for unfiltered, bare honesty, the kind of which they couldn't even offer in a game of truth or dare. Perhaps that's why they always chose dare. Why their game with Fox consisted of only dares.
"Ah..." they twisted the backpack strap between their fingers and allowed their gaze to drift upwards. It was always tricky to gather their thoughts when it came to Fox. "He's... he gets me, I think. He knows I wanna have fun and he makes sure we do, and I do the same for him in return. Y'know that feeling when there's a car engine inside of you, and you feel like you need to do anything or go anywhere, or it might, like, explode? Yeah, I think he gets that. It's how we get to see the best places and explore the town in the greatest ways---like, with a flying shopping cart, for example. I---"
They faltered for a second, stumbling over their own thoughts as they took a sharp turn to unexplored areas. Wren took a breath, unzipped their backpack, tried again. "I'd like to see more places with him, y'know. Outside of Wetherton. I have-- I have a lot to do, see, a lot of hopping around, and... he said he'd wanna come with, yeah, but I wanna make it fun, too. Not just a human treasure hunt." They checked inside their backpack. Finding nothing of interest, Wren zipped up again, turned it over. They began to undo another zipper. "He's told me things, too, y'know," their voice came a bit quieter, now, a bit uncertain. If thinking about such matters was puzzling, then discussing them so openly was simply unexplored terrain stretching for miles and miles. Wren stuffed a pen in their backpack. Zipped it up. Exhaled.
"He's been through things, I know. We both have. Uhm, but... the way I reacted when he told me, like-- about his parents, for example, or when he revealed he had a brother too and they were triplets... I dunno. I hope he didn't think anything... bad of it? I didn't---" They frowned. "Like, I'm not expecting him to tell me anything he doesn't want to, even if I get worried sometimes. But when he does, I just... it's hard to react properly. I don't know what the proper reaction is. I wish there was a guidebook for these things. I wish I knew what to say, but--... See, there's a chance my parents are still out there. But not his. They just aren't. And-- fuck, I know I'm being weird about it, I think, but I just don't know how to approach this when it comes up and I want him to feel like he can tell me everything, like, things he might wanna get off his chest or something. Y'know what I mean?"
They've zipped and unzipped the backpack about three times now. Sighing, Wren set the tormented thing aside. "Don't bother answering that. I don't really know what I mean myself."
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jumukus · 4 years
Text
A3! Translation: A3! Anime Blu-Ray & DVD Volume 3′s Drama CD Bonus “SEASON SUMMER EXTRA EPISODE vol.01″
Tenma goes on a journey to look for grape juice after losing a game with Yuki. (Thank you to @bishounenpalace for sharing the audio files with me!)
You can buy the item here.
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Yuki: Good work today~. *sighs* It's finally over.
Muku: Nice work, guys. Today's rehearsal was pretty tiring, huh, there's a lot of things we need to remember.
Tenma: Hey, why did you sound so defeated over this much? Will you be okay?
Listen, since our show is fast approaching, we've gotta--.
Yuki: Yeah, yeah. Just save the rest for the theater troupe's blog.
Tenma: What did you say--.
Kazunari: Good work, Tenten!
Tenma: Urgh...! Don't hug me, Miyoshi!
Misumi: Kazunari and Tenma get along so well~! Lemme join too!
Tenma: Argh, stop it! That's enough!
Muku: I'm sorry!
Yuki: Why are you apologizing?
Muku: It's because I made complaints soon after our rehearsal… I truly am just a weak, useless, slow and stupid bird…
Tenma and Yuki: No one said that.
Kazunari: Now, now, guys. It's also thanks to Director-chan's strict coaching that we've all improved this much.
Misumi: Yup, yup! We've got a full triangle score for today's rehearsal~.
Yuki: What kind of score is that?
Tenma: Ugh… I'm going back first.
Muku: Where are you going, Tenma-kun?
Tenma: Huh? I'm just returning to my own room. You have any problems with that?
Yuki: You're heading to the entrance, though.
Tenma: Ugh…! I-I know that much…!
Kazunari: Don't tell me you're…
Tenma: No! I just had something to do at the entrance.
Yuki: Hmm? Elaborate please.
Tenma: Huh? Uhh… That's… I wanted to make sure the door was locked...and our shoes… In any case, I have a lot to do!
*steps away*
Misumi: *sighs* He's gone~.
Muku: It's kind of surprising.
Kazunari: Tenten is so cwutee!
Yuki: What is that hack doin' trying to look cool like that?
***
Tenma: 62...63...64…
Yuki: Hey.
Tenma: 65… What?
Yuki: I don't mind you doing sit-ups here, but… Don't put your legs on my side.
Tenma: Huuh? It's not like I can't help it, y'know? Our room is small. And it's not like I can have my own room.
Yuki: All I'm saying is you need to be mindful of your surroundings a little bit more, hack.
Tenma: The he… Which part of me is a hack!?
Yuki: It's the fact that you can't read the mood, you don't have common sense… and the fact that you're de…
Tenma: Enough! In that case, I'll prove to you that you're wrong.
Yuki: Hmmm? Shall we have a Shiritori game to see how much common sense you have?
Tenma: Shiritori? That's easy.
Yuki: Easy? Since you say so, can I decide on the theme? If you lose, you've gotta bring some juice at the kitchen here.
Tenma: Fine. Got it.
Yuki: Alright. Let's go with needlework as the theme.
Tenma: Needlework? ...F-Fine.
Yuki: I'm going first. Pattern paper. (Katagami)
Tenma: Pattern paper? Mi… Mi…
Yuki: What? Losing already? It's the one you use when you make clothes.
Tenma: Oh, I get it! Hmph, I knew it. This is so easy! Sewing machine! (Misin)
***
Yuki: Get me grape juice. The one with some soda in it.
Tenma: Why are you treating me like a gofer…
Yuki: You lost the game. I'm thirsty, so hurry up.
Tenma: Urgh…!
*slams door*
***
Muku: Ahh… the weather is nice outside~. Even the sky looks pretty. ...Hm?
Tenma: The kitchen… should be here… right?
Muku: Tenma-kun?
Tenma: …! Huh, it's just you, Sakisaka.
Muku: What are you doing in front of the bathroom? I don't think the water is warm enough around this time.
Tenma: Bathroom? What are you saying? This is…
*door opens*
Tenma: A bathroom.
Muku: Oh. Are you perhaps… lost?
Tenma: WHAAT!? N-No! There's...There's no way I'll get lost in the dorm, you know!
Muku: Y-You have a point! U-Umm… So what are you doing, Tenma-kun?
Tenma: I'm just… grabbing some juice.
Muku: Uhh… In the bathroom?
Tenma: U-ugh… There are some, you know! I saw it when I was filming a scene in a public bathhouse late at night!
Muku: W-Well, I do think there are juices in the public bathhouse, but… Shall we go together to the kitchen, then? I also want to go grab some drinks.
Tenma: I… I'll tag along if you say so.
Muku: Okay!
***
Muku: Hmm… Guess I'll drink the barley tea. How about you, Tenma-kun?
Tenma: Grape juice, with some soda in it.
Muku: Do we have that here… Umm, nope. Do you want any other juice instead?
Tenma: No.
Muku: But the other juices are just as delicious…
Tenma: I've made a promise with Rurikawa, more or less.
Muku: Oh, I see. It's for Yuki-kun. You're so kind, Tenma-kun.
Tenma: You've got it wrong! It's because I lo… No, I mean, things happened. Why should I willingly do something for Rurikawa, anyway?
Muku: You two are close, huh. I'm jealous.
Tenma: HUUH!? H-How!? Why should I get along with him when we don't even click? We just happened to be joining the same theater troupe and aiming to make this play a success.
Muku: You see, I'll be so happy if all of us in the Summer Troupe can spend joyful and sad time together.
Tenma: Rather than us as a group… we should be working hard on our own, you know. No one will save you if you fail on the stage.
Muku: You have a point, but…
Tenma: Hmph. I'm going out for a bit, then.
Muku: Huh? Where are you going?
Tenma: Buying the grape juice, of course. We don't have it here.
Muku: He should be fine with other drinks, though.
Tenma: No. A promise is a promise. Besides, I'm just going to a convenience store nearby.
Muku: Do you know where it is?
Tenma: Of course I do! I've seen it countless times when Igawa takes me around by car.
Muku: Umm… In that case, it should be alright… I guess.
Tenma: Hmph. Of course.
***
Tenma: Hmm, it's farther than I thought.
Kazunari: Ooooh! I found Tenten!
Tenma: Oh, hey, Miyoshi. What are you doing at such a place?
Kazunari: Such a place… This is near our dorm, you know?
Tenma: What!? No way! It's been around an hour since I left the dorm!
Kazunari: Look behind you, Tenten.
Tenma: Huh? Behind me?
Kazunari: Can you see Sumi's big triangle roof right there?
Tenma: Y-Yeah. Hey, what's happening here!?
Kazunari: Umm.. Maybe you're going the same way over and over again? Where are you heading, anyway?
Tenma: I just want to go to the nearby convenience store…
Kazunari: Let's go together, then! Going to a convenience store with a celeb is surely something else!
Tenma: Ugh… I've told you, don't hug me! You can just tell me the way--.
Kazunari: But we're friends, right!? Don't say such a thing! Let's go together!
Tenma: Ugh… Fine, fine! Get off me!
***
Yuki: *sighs* I got so thirsty because of that hack.
Muku: What's wrong, Yuki-kun?
Yuki: I wanna drink some juice since it's hot.
Muku: Hmm? How about Tenma-kun?
Yuki: I should be the one asking that here. I told him to bring me some juice but he hasn't come back ever since.
Muku: Huh? Tenma-kun is not back yet?
Yuki: I should have expected the oh-so-great Tenma would not keep his promise.
Muku: I don't think that's the case…
Yuki: I dunno about that. Maybe his pride is just so high he can't forgive the fact that he lost a game.
Muku: But Tenma-kun said, "A promise is a promise." Maybe he's still looking for your grape juice outside.
Yuki: What? He can just take any juice. I get tired of waiting.
Muku: Let's try waiting a little bit longer.
Yuki: I'm thirsty, though, and I want to drink this juice.
Muku: I’m begging you, Yuki-kun! Believe in Tenma-kun!
Yuki: *sighs*... Why do I have to go along with that hack… Fine, I'll just have to wait, right?
Muku: Thank you, Yuki-kun!
***
Kazunari: As expected of Tenma! Celeb sure is different, huh~. They got so excited when they saw your face!
Tenma: *sighs* I usually wear sunglasses, though.
Kazunari: Why aren't you wearing it, then?
Tenma: It's because I left in a hurry. I even forgot to bring my phone.
Kazunari: Lemme give you nose glasses to help you disguise yourself next time!
Tenma: Don’t! ..But thanks for today.
Kazunari: Don't mind it! We're fellow Summer Troupe members, after all! We're friends!
Tenma: We're not friends! Fellow troupe members…well…
Misumi: Whoah! Kazu and Tenma!
Kazunari: Sumi! What are you doing?
Misumi: Looking for triangles~. Look look, this is the eldest of three triangle brothers!
Tenma: Ugh…! Where did you find those dolls!?
Misumi: They gave me these since I kept staring at them~.
Kazunari: Whoaah, that's so cool! Which one is the second son? It must be the one that… Hey, Tenten, where are you going?
Tenma: Dorm. I got what I find.
Kazunari: Huh, but…
Misumi: The dorm is this way, not that way.
Tenma: I just made a lil bit mistake! I'm going home!
Kazunari: Hold on, hold on! Let's go home together!
Misumi: Me too~.
Tenma: Do as you like.
Misumi: Oh, right! Lemme tell you something great~. You won't get lost if you make triangle clouds sign on your way. Triangle~ Triangle~.
Tenma: I-Is that so?
Kazunari: Tenten… So you really have a bad sense of direction?
Tenma: …! N-Not really. I just can't remember direction quickly. I’ve always had people take me around since childhood, so I don't have much chance to go out by myself.
Kazunari: Well, it can't be helped. Your parents are actors, after all. I'm sure you'll get used to it soon enough. 
Misumi: Ah! See, if you follow this triangle cloud, you can see our triangle roof!
Tenma: …! I have no idea the convenience store is this close…
Kazunari: You might be bad at it right now, but I'm sure you'll be fine once you remember the direction little by little. We're also with you, after all.
Misumi: Yup! We're all friends~.
Tenma: Ugh… Well, you're right.
***
Kazunari: We're home~!
Misumi: We're home~.
Tenma: We're back.
Muku: Ah…! Welcome back, guys! Yuki-kun, Tenma-kun is home.
Yuki: I can't believe it took you this long… You really are a hack.
Tenma: Hey.
Yuki: What? Do you have anything you wanna say?
Tenma: Here, your grape juice, with some soda in it.
Yuki: ….
Tenma: Hmm? What now? Complaining again?
Yuki: Yeah, yeah, thanks.
Tenma: I've gone to the trouble to buy the juice--what's with that response!?
Yuki: Huuh? Do you know how long I wait for you? Besides, I've never told you to bring the exact juice I want.
Tenma: …! I-In that case, let's have another game! And then we'll settle…
Yuki: I refuse.
Tenma: But why!?
Yuki: Because you're annoying, and a hack.
Tenma: Which part of me is annoying!? And I'm not a hack!
Kazunari: You two sure are close!
Tenma and Yuki: In what way!?
Kazunari: See? You're in sync!
Muku: Ahaha.
Misumi: Tenma and Yuki are close!
Tenma and Yuki: We're not!
Kazunari: See!? Hahaha.
69 notes · View notes
nat-20s · 3 years
Text
MEDIA THAT I RECOMMEND YOU CONSUME INSTEAD OF SUPERNATURAL FOR BOTH HEART AND HEALTH BROKEN DOWN BY TYPE OF MEDIA AND WHY YOU MIGHT LIKE IT IF AT ANY POINT YOU, LIKE MY POOR POOR SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SELF, WERE INVESTED IN THIS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE FIRE OF A SHOW
with apologies to anyone on mobile who’s readmore function APPARENTLY doesn’t work
(I haven’t watched supernatural for at least five years and, given any sort of luck, I will never do so again, do not @ me)
hello babes. I am talking to you know bc I keep seeing supernatural, unironically, on my dash, and I think we can all do better. I see what’s happening and I think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3i_o5Xd4g
Supernatural is fudge stripes. You are Megan. We can fix this.
So a list of alternate things that I think are overall better written/characterized/just generally more enjoyable that might scratch some of those itches:
TV SHOWS
Good Omens
okay look if u were on tumblr last year u probably already watched this show but like. If u haven’t, it’s only six episodes babe and there’s a large enough fandom that u can go down a fanart hole for days on end
Basic summary: the antichrist has reached that lovely young age where he’s supposed to bring about the apocalypse. An angel and a demon who have decided that actually they like the world as is, thank you very much, try to stop the end times. They’re not very good at it though, which makes for a comedy of errors.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: theologic (mostly christian) exploration/parody/imagery without inherently being a religious show. Fighting off the apocalypse narrative, which I think pretty much always goes hard as hell, but that’s just me. There’s a gay angel who’s socially awkward. There’s a fun very British demon. Touches on the hierarchies of heaven and hell, with framing Heaven as a bureaucracy and blurs the differences between angels and demons.  Pining. Tenderness. A deep nostalgia for 80s music, though in this case it’s specifically queen, and who doesn’t love queen. Main character has a weirdly strong bond with his black vintage car.  Satan is (sort of) fought.
~~
Gravity Falls
sometimes...things that are kids shows...with a set story and a predetermined ending...are better
(also this isn’t relevant to any of what I’m talking about but I really appreciate that Gravity Falls specifically went against the thing that most begged me about ATLA aka that a 15 year old girl would be like yeah I’m into a 12 year old boy because the 12 year old boy has a crush on me and I apparently don’t get to really have a say in this. How does that make sense.)
Basic Summary: Twelve year old twins Dipper and Mabel go to stay with their Grunkle Stan for the summer in a small Oregon town called Gravity Falls. Turns out this town is filled with all sorts of strange phenomena that they often have to confront, work around, learn about, or befriend!
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: The core focus of the show is a close sibling duo, but like It’s obvious that the siblings actually like and love each other and while they have their spats it’s still incredibly clear that they deeply care about each other even with their differences LIKE SORRY SUPERNATURAL YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME THAT SIBLINGS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME FIGHTING AND LYING TO EACH OTHER AND GENERALLY ACTING LIKE THEY CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER’S COMPANY BUT THEN OOOHHH YOU CRY ON TOP OF THE HOOD OF A CAR EVERY THREE EPISODE AND SUDDENLY THEY’RE SOULMATES OR WHATEVER
Anyway. Yeah. GF has a solid sibling dynamic. Monster of the week that builds up to greater over-arching plot. A little bit of body horror, you know, for humor. Fair amount of meta humor playing with the tropes of the genre. A Good Ol Big Bad that tries to pit the siblings against each other. Have to fight the apocalypse (you’ll see this point on like a good half of these recs, I really like ‘what are we gonna do about Armageddon’ media). Interesting creature design. Planned, satisfying ending (which supernatural absolutely does not have, but I still think if it had ended with the season 5 finale like it uhh  pretty obviously was supposed to, that would sort of counted. Don’t revive shows that have clearly already told their stories kids.) Tie in media that gives you some fun extra stories when you miss the characters. (yes I read some of the supernatural novels when I was a c h i l d, yes I’m pretty sure there’s one or two of them still buried somewhere on my laptop, no I don’t wanna talk about it.) Older father figure (?) who owns a tbh kind of shitty shop. Both already in place and found family.
It’s a good show, and it’s two seasons. John Mulaney Voice: I dunno it’s 40 episodes
MINI REC ALERT! (mini recs are basically things that I’m not gonna go into detail about for whatever reason [probably either due to i’m not familiar enough with it OR I just don’t like. Have a bunch to say about it in regards to how it will scratch the itches presented to u by spn] but still seem like a Good Watch)
Mini Rec: Over The Garden Wall. Spooky Kids Media! Episodic! Miniseries so you can watch it in like 2 hours! Cool ass Animation! About two brothers encountering said spooky stuff! Big Bad tries to pit brothers against each other! Might haunt you for the rest of your life! Check it out!
~~
The Haunting of Bly Manor
I think about this show every goddamn day of my life. (Also not relevant but Greg Sestero makes a brief cameo in it and I was like hi greg my friend greg!)
Basic Summary: An girl named Dani, while staying in London, decides to take on an Au Pair job for two young children, an older brother named Miles (age 10) and the younger sister Flora (age 8) at the spoooooky and mysteeerious Bly Manor, and she gets far more than she bargained for.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Okay so supernatural doesn’t actually do this but I know I KNOW why we let ourselves be queerbaited in 2012. Four words for you: CENTRAL! GAY! TRAGIC! ROMANCE! You want some pining? Some tenderness? Some LOVE? Some dealing with internalized homophobia but no, like, actual violent onscreen homophobia? HAVE I GOT THE SHOW FOR YOU. If ur favorite episodes where the ones that make you sob (for me it was kevin’s death on god), I recommend this show. If you wished that supernatural literally ever had consequences or perma deaths or didn’t retcon major plot events like every five goddamn episodes so that there could be some exploration of like grief and trauma through the lens of/ higher stakes of horror, I recommend this show. If you really do stay up at night picturing a supernatural that wasn’t made by dumbass cishettie white men hack writers but was actually allowed to have Dean and Cas be in love over the course of the show so they could have like actual development and not the most homophobic gay reveal of all time, I recommend this show. Hell, if you just want a banger ghost story in general, I recommend this show.
As for what they actually have in common: horror setting/aesthetic without actually being all that scary most of the time. A strong sibling duo, though they’re not nearly as much of the focus of Bly Manor. Found family. Strong themes of grief. Questions of what turns someone into a monster (and done much better) An actual, much better noble sacrifice done out of love. Escalation of stakes until there’s a big final confrontation. Semi-big bad trying to tear this family apart. Found and pre-installed family. Sad orphans.
Watch this show. Vibe with me. Cry with me. Yell at me about Owen Sharma
MINI REC ALERT!
Haunting of Hill House- spiritual predecessor to Haunting of Bly Manor, though they’re not actually the same universe/story. However, it’s made by the same dude and has a shared aesthetic/sensibilities/some of the cast. This is only a mini rec bc I haven’t actually seen it, but I’ve heard good things and that it, while much more heavily leaning into family dynamics, has similar themes of exploring Grief and Trauma through ghooossstttsss.
~~
Community
Okay I know that this may seem like a Wild rec considering community is a school sitcom with basically Zero paranormal elements but just like. Hear me out. And no this isn’t just because I think it’s a realy good show and I want more people to watch it, though that is a factor. If I was just recommending comedies that I think are good and more people should watch regardless of them serving as a replacement for supernatural I would demand you all go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I’m gonna demand it anyway. Everyone go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Now back to your original program:
Basic Summary: A group of students at Greendale Community College form a Spanish study group, and things quickly go Off The Fucking Rails in the best way possible.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: All right I’m gonna be real honest this rec is for all of my (correct) bitches who’s favorite episodes of Supernatural were French Mistake, Changing Channels, and/or Mystery Spot. You think if Supernatural would’ve been fucking fantastic if it had been a committed comedy instead of a CW melodrama that occasionally landed some admittedly really fucking funny episodes/concepts, Community (and the movies on this list) will gently take you into its loving arms and give you everything you desire. It’s about the Meta comedy. It’s about the discussion, exploration, and subversion of common tropes within the format. It’s about the grand use of group/ found family dynamics in order to max both the goofs and the heart. It’s about fantastic callbacks. It’s about having one of the few “asshole with a heart of gold” leads I can actually stand because. You know. Growth. It’s about the INCREDIBLE genre and  pop culture parody. Which genre do they parody, you ask. All of them. They parody all the genres. The glee parody episode is a fucking masterpiece of television. If you don’t want to watch a show that features a Halloween party where everyone turns into zombies and the ABBA discography blasts in the background, you can stop reading right now, because I can guarantee you won’t be interested in a damn thing I have to say.
MINI REC ALERT: The X-Files. I’ve also never seen this but a: everything I’ve seen out of context has been fantastically weird and delightful b: it appears that there’s a general consensus that Scully and Mulder are one of the only valid straight couples so it’s probably pretty fun and c: let’s all be honest. Supernatural was already basically an x-files rip off, it had like half of their original writers swiped from the x-files crew, I’m pretty sure if you liked especially the first couple of seasons of supernatural, you’re gonna like the X-files.
~~
Subcategory: TV SHOWS ( A WHOLE TWO OF ‘EM, OR MORE LIKE ONE AND HALF IF YOU WANNA GET TECHNICAL) I’M SPECIFICALLY RECOMMENDING FOR THAT COCAINE HIT OF PURE UNADULTERATED UNCUT 2012 TUMBLR NOSTALGIA
BBC Merlin
Yes, I know the show ended in 2010. Yes, it still provides that 2012 Tumblr nostalgia. 2012 Tumblr is a feeling, not an actual time period.
I love this stupid show. I plan on rewatching it all over the month of January. I harbor a deep amount of fondness for it. It’s why every time I see literally any depiction of Merlin I get just so fucking excited, and why I’ve consumed as many ridiculous Arthurian adaptations as I have (side note: my two favorite other ridiculous Arthurian legend adaptation are Avalon High, a DEEPLY silly DCOM that is required viewing to level up friendship with me, and The Kid Who Would Be King, which is the only movie that I think truly understands the comedic potential of playing a King Arthur Adaptation mostly straight but everyone in it is 12. I’m not sure it intended to be as fucking funny as it was, but again, they’re all middle schoolers. I have never been more jealous of an actor than I was of the 22 year old that got to play a 16 year old dumbass Merlin who was sometimes also Patrick Stewart and did all of his magic with ridiculous hand gestures That should’ve been me that should’ve been me that should’ve been me. Also Sword in the Stone by TH White is pretty good, because Merlin knows germ theory in the fantasy 400’s and he just uses it to be petty mostly. Also listen to High Noon Over Camelot by The Mechanisms. Also Also I tend to prefer family friendly adaptations because they don’t have the uhhh. You know. Incest and sexual violence of the original legend. Love to Not have that shit!) Whether you watched it initially and are due for a rewatch, or you’re intrigued enough by the concept of the show to watch it for the first time, you should join me on this wild wild ride.
Basic Summary: You know who Guinevere, Arthur, and Merlin are, come on. BBC said let’s make em all YOUNG let’s make em SEXY let’s make em FAMILY FRIENDLY and let’s make magic REALLY SEEM LIKE A THINLY VEILED ALLEGORY FOR BEING GAY BUT TO THIS DAY IM NOT SURE IF THAT WAS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT WAS. @ THE BBC MERLIN CREATORS WHAT IS THE TRUTH BECAUSE THERE WAS SOME INTERVI-
Basic Summary but like a bit more helpful: A BABY version of Merlin (and by baby I mean like 20 year old.) is sent from his small town to the big city the Kingdom of Camelot to find his destiny. Staying with the town physician and friend of his mom’s, Gaius, he ends up as both his assistant and personal manservant to Prince Arthur. But in a kingdom where magic is punished with death and the prince seems hell bent on getting himself into situations that are going to kill him, the young sorcerer has his more than his share of work cut out for him.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Primo supremo queerbaiting. Like, yeah, okay, it’s queerbaiting, you know it’s queerbaiting, but you watch some of the scenes and ur like okay. I know why I let this bait me. Obviously with a modern show, I would expect more, I would expect better, I would raise my standards, but I gotta admit. Some of these scenes are fuckin compelling as hell, and the subtext is like barely sub. Monster of the week shenanigans. Some awful CGI creatures but like a charming awful. Like the kind of awful that tells you their very limited budget was more focused on cool swords than realistic creatures. Episodic stories build into a more overarching plot, with things getting darker in season 4/5. Shitty father that end up eating shit and while the son of said father is rightfully conflicted and upset over the death it’s cathartic and victorious as all hell for the audience. Multiple hot evil women, and I love hot evil women. There’s also nice hot women, which is a bonus. These women don’t all immediately stupidly die, so that’s a nice change. Also like a LOT of sarcastic humor and shenanigans if u like Sass Merlin is there for u personally name a more iconic line than “Oh I’m sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” AND THAT’S IN THE FIRST FUCKIN EPISODE brilliant amazing fantastic show stopping. Also you know those like dumb hijink episodes where like Dean was possessed by the spirit of a dog or some shit? You bet your bottom fuckin dollar BBC Merlin has those kinds of storylines. Also I know some people go to spn bc it had that HUGE fanbase and like BBC Merlin’s fanbase is still SURPRISINGLY poppin even though it’s been a decade since there was new content so like. Have fun!
~~
Doctor Who but Specifically the RTD Era
Look I’m not here to say that the first four seasons of reboot doctor who are the only good doctor who or inherently better than all the rest (though the RTD era is my favorite personally) BUT when ur seekin that sweet sweet superwholock frenzy nostalgia, this is the ‘who’ that is being referred to. Also like. Stan 9. We should all collectively stan the ninth doctor. Chris Eccleston, the Objectively Best Famous Chris, deserved better.
Basic Summary: An immortal alien that goes by “The Doctor” travels across time and space with a variety of different companions, often to try and save the day or fix a (sometimes self created) mess. It’s distilled campy sci-fi with a family friendly tone that has made me cry on several occasions.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Monster of the week that, you guessed it, builds into bigger overarching plot style narrative. Fighting off the apocalypse, but like every couple of weeks because worlds are in danger a LOT. A semi-tragic romance that made people go absolutely buck fuckin wild bc pining n shit. Wamen, but they aren’t fridged. (actually for real though none of the main women die and I just think that’s really fun and flirty even though I could go on a COMPLETELY SEPARATE rant about the injustice of one of the character’s ending YES season 4 is my favorite season and one of my favorite pieces of media ever and I am currently actively recommending it to you  YES im still fucking pissed over how it ended YES we exist) Specifically, a Wonderful and Very Excellent woman named Donna who goes on a spa trip that doesn’t end up going very well. That seems like a highly specific example, and it is, but it did happen in both shows. (Also, to anyone that continued watching SPN after like idk season 9 what happened to Donna? I always liked her and I know she became a recurring character so like DM whatever probably injustice was the end of her story line pls and thank you) I’m also extra specifically recommending for Supernatural Fans and also The World At Large:  Season Four of Reboot Who. I rewatched it last year and it still goes so fucking hard. Donna Noble is the best character in existence. In regards to the appeal for SPN, personally I think the best part of SPN was when people who are soulmates went on adventures and tried to save the day and it was a good mix of banter and sincerity AND GUESS WHAT’S BASICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4 OF DOCTOR WHO. It’s so good y’all I wish Everything was about soulmates going on adventures and trying to save the day.
OKAY TV SHOWS DONE TIME FOR M O V I E S which I don’t have nearly as many recs for but uhh here goes
What We Do In The Shadows/ Shaun of the Dead
I’m lumping these two together bc my reasons for recommending them are largely the same, and I would call them tonally similar enough that if you like one you’ll probably like the other
Basic Summary (Shaun of The Dead): Uh-oh! London’s had a break out of some of that good ol’ zombieism. Shaun and friends decide to hunker down in a local bar, but they have to get there first. Will they survive? Will they fuck up some zom zoms? Who’s to say?
Basic Summary (What We Do In The Shadows): Some vampire roommates dick around. I think there’s technically, like, a plot, but it’s really just about some vampires Doin Their Thing. Vibin.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: This is kind of similar to the Community recommendation, in that supernatural had the opportunity to be one of those things that was both a parody of a genre but also just a really good example of the genre. WWDITS and SotD are both those things for vampire and zombly movies, respectively. Have the aesthetic and some of the themes of a horror but is not actually all that scary. Horror Comedy is a god tier genre and I don’t know why it’s not more widespread. Fun monsters/cast of characters in general, so at least one person in it is probably going to make you go “oh gender” ya know? With SotD you have the fantasy power trip that comes with like any piece of media that involves hunting monsters. With WWDITS I go “yep that’s how bisexuals dress” and I Will Not Clarify which character I’m talking about.
MINI REC ALERT: All of Taika Watiti’s filmography. Thor:Ragnarok is one of like 3 marvel movies that I consider genuinely fucking fantastic completely independent of the MCU and my own tendency to be like “hurr bdurr I love. Superheros”. For the one that is most tonally like Supernatural But Significantly Better and Written By Someone Competent I think I would say try out Hunt For The Wilderpeople. It’s got a reluctant curmudgeonly father figure and I KNOW some of you motherfuckers were so invested in spn when you were like 16 bc you had daddy issues. This is a callout post for my friend [REDACTED], who I should text to watch Hunt for the Wilderpeople, actually.  
MINI REC ALERT X2!!!: Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I’ve never seen it but it has both Winona Ryder AND Keanu Reaves so like. Goth bi rights.
~~
Happy Death Day (and Happy Death Day 2 U)
happy death day was one of those movies that I saw the trailer, went “eh”, heard other people say it was great, watched, and went holy fuck this slaps. Not nearly as much of a slasher film as the trailers implied if im remembering the trailer correctly
Basic Summary: Our main character Tree keeps waking up on the day she was murdered. The day resets every time that she dies. That’s right, it’s a time loop storey babey!!!!!!!!!!!
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: If you were anything like me you were foolishly lulled into supernatural for way longer than you should’ve been on the promise that the characters would idk like grow and change and become better and learn lessons and some of that would be through the power of receiving love and kindness. You know. Like how good writers would do it especially if their main characters are kind of dicks that really should make some changes. Well, Happy Death Day fucking delivers on that promise in SPADES. It’s about growth! It’s about change! It’s about making the active decision to become a better person and putting effort into doing so! There’s heavy themes of like grief and trauma and acknowledging them and facing them head on in order to move on and the negative consequences of refusing to do so and just trying avoid it until it goes away. There’s a romance that makes my dumb little self do the pleading face emoji. Tree is also one of the only good asshole with a heart of gold characters. I also think media is improved by having at least one character that is a Good Good Boy (note: Good Good Boy character does not have to be a man.) and Happy Death Day has Carter. Oh on that note: Tree Voice: I’ve only had character for (the same repeating over and over) a day but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone here and then myself. Also the movie is funny so like hell yeah.
that’s all I got for relevant movies right now
BOOK RECS
jk i’m illiterate. Everyone should feel free to go ahead and add their own suggestions for this section The best I can do is uhhhh I think y’all would probably like Mira Grant’s novels, particularly the Newsflesh stories, bc sibling dynamics. Also the book The Haunting of Hill House is really good. Ballad of Black Tom slaps? There’s of course the Good Omens novel that the show was based on. I’m about to recommend some podcasts after this section which will include to Welcome to Nightvale because of course it will and the tie in novels for that slap, especially It Devours!, and I’m pretty sure they work as stories even if you know nothing about the podcast. Also also I think you should read “The Long Way to A Small, Angry Planet” by Becky Chambers It’s not thematically similar to supernatural at all but it’s one of my all time favorite sci fi novels and only like four people have read it which is a goddamn TRAVESTY.
Anyway yeah that’s it that’s all there is. Onto the medium that is like books but I can fold laundry or cook while consuming their narratives.
PODCAST RECS
Okay so this is getting uhhh wicked long so I’m gonna limit myself to only three full blown recs and a
mini rec
Alice Isn’t Dead
Fuck me running this show is so good. Literally hands down my all time favorite (and scariest!) horror podcast. Mamma mia, that’s a good fuckin story. The Book version is also good and has fewer Weird events but some further character development so I recommend them both.
Basic Summary: After her wife Alice disappears mysteriously, Keisha takes up a job as a long haul trucker, traveling all across America in order to find her, but ends up finding so much. Pursued by a deadly creature she calls The Thistle Man, the stakes of her journey are raised.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: okay so I have a lost of bullet points of things that appealed to me specifically about supernatural and how no other shows covers all of them which sucks bc it means I basically Yearn for a show that’s supernatural but good. Alice isn’t Dead, however, hits the most of these bullet points AND is so fucking good. It has monster hunting. It has stopping a cataclysmic event BUT also discussion of the cyclical nature of events such as these and how the fight never truly ends but you can make some fucking progress nonetheless. It has a central gay romance that’s actually a central gay romance. It’s the ONLY show on this list that really hits that the weird and dark underside of americana vibe but specifically the americana of not like suburbs and shit but that eerie haunted feeling you get when you’re hours into a late night drive on open roads with no civilization around and an expansive sky and it just Seems like something should be watching you. Have you ever been out for a walk at midnight and encountered a deer and you looked into each other’s eyes and it felt like it was telling you a message that you couldn’t possibly hope to parse? Have you ever felt an incredible sense of deja vu eating in a restaurant you couldn’t have possibly been in before, because you’ve been to a thousand diners a thousand times just like one, and there’s an incredibly sense of homogeneity even though you’re 2000 miles away from anyone and anything that could possibly know you? Have you ever traveled to an area that seems to be stuck in a bubble of time, the only thing that shows any evidence of having aged past 2006 being yourself, and you wonder how your cell phone even works around here? THAT’S the spooky americana I’m fuckin talking about! Messed up road trips! Too much goddamn space! America is scary because it’s big and Filled With Things but also Not Enough Things! Fuck yeah!!!!! That time bubble fuckin EXISTS in Wyoming the most recent song on the radio I heard was fuckin Hey Soul Sister!
Also has a thing where like are there even good guys and bad guys in a conflict or is it all just one umbrella nightmare that you’re trying to stand against in anyway possible (u kno..like how the overarching structures of both heaven and hell were kinda fucked in spn? No spoilers but similar shit be happenin in Alice Isn’t Dead). Exploration of what makes someone into a monster, like how do you go down that path? Also this is the only show on this whole damn list that southern gothic music really suits it so points for that.
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The Magnus Archives
You know I had to do it to ‘em.
Basic Summary: Jonathan Sims has just become the Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, a “research” “facility” that looks into paranormal/esoteric/unexplained phenomena.
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John Mulaney Voice, Again: Nobody knows what the archivist is going to do next, least of all the archivist. He’s never been in an archives before, he’s just as confused as you are.
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Oh fuck this document is over 5k long I said I wasn’t gonna do this hhhhh so lipton lightning round: Slowburn Gay Romance but Actually Canon, Monster Hunting but Hey What Even Is A Monster Anyway, Acts Somewhat like a Loosely Connected Horror Anthology until it DOESNT, Little Things Build to Bigger Narrative, Characters Be Goin Through It (On God These People Need Therapy), Trying to Prevent/Fix The Apocalypse (X2!!!), Smug Asshole Big Bad,  Horror as a Metaphor For Various Shit, Basically if you thought that the Men of Letter concept slapped and you think it should’ve been the whole damn show including being Deeply British you would probably really fuckin like TMA. Also if ur like the ideal piece of media is a horror tragedy but also like it’s a wacky sitcom but also also fuck cops. U will like tma.
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Welcome to Nightvale
IF ANY 2012 TUMBLR FANDOM DESERVES TO MAKE A MASSIVE COMEBACK AND BE EVERYWHERE AGAIN AND ABSOLUTELY FLOOD MY DASH IT’S WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE WHY DID WE ABANDON THE SHOW THAT TREATED US THE MOST KINDLY DID YOU KNOW THAT EPISODES 108-110 ARE THE BEST FUCKING BUILT UP NARRATIVE REVEAL THAT I HAVE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE DID YOU KNOW THAT IT CONTINUED TO BE REALLY FUCKING GOOD AFTER MOST PEOPLE STOPPED LISTENING DID YOU KNOW CECIL AND CARLOS ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A DOG AND A TODDLER NOW BECAUSE OF ALL THE GAY PODCAST PROTAGONISTS CECIL GERSHWIN PALMER LOVE OF MY LIFE ELDRITCHIAN CHEERLEADER AND CERTIFIED BIMBO KEEPS FUCKIN WINNIN BABY. DID YOU KNOW THAT CECIL THINKS PEANUT BUTTER IS A ROCK.
Basic Summary: Welcome to the sleepy desert town of Ņ̶̏ight V̶͚̰̮͗̔̊̊ale! Community radio how host Cé̵̟͚͕̗̞̙͂͑̽̄́c̵̤̼̞͈̪͓̍̽̋̚̕͜il Pǎ̵̧̨̢͚̻̈̂̄̇͐̇̊̀̆ͅl̶͚͎͕͉͖̬͓͑́̐̒̍̿̈́͢͜͝ͅm̸̧͙̟̖̠̳̬͋́͋́͌̚̚ͅȩ̙̖͎̖͂́̒͐͜͞r̢̢̛̰̻̮̺̩͙̼̈́͋̀͘ is here to k̠̠̰̦͙̯̥̎̄̆͌̎̀̿̔̌̚ê̷̢̬̥̞̩̯̘͒̽̈̓͐̂̔̍e̶̡̝̗̺̫̪̜͆̓̿̈͌͌̆͒͞ͅp̵̹̗̬̼̠̬͙̏͐͐̉̅͊͊́͟͞ͅͅ ỷ̛͙̞̦̦͖̑̉̌̎͞͡͡͝ͅo̧̧̥͎̻̥̲͇͋́́̔̈͌͞ǔ̸̬̯̫͇̦̮͕̤̲̯̽̔̀̔͆͋̈́͘̚ up to date all the local happenings, including w̸̢̢̢̧̡̡͍͖̻̳̹̼̼̰̬̭̱͔̲͙͍̰̠̥̺̝͖̺̖̼̮̼̞̳̞̜͉̤̯͇̖̳͖̠̙̺̲̤͇͈͚͓̮̭̱̭̩͚̟̥̬̟̻̝̼̖͚̘͐̆̅̂̃̈́͆͊̉̏͒́̈́̋͗͑̄̉́̐̌́̿̌͛̾̎̊̾̃̈́̉̔̍̐͛̕͘̚͜͜͠͠é̵̢̡̧̨̨̡̧̨̡̛̹̥̥̞̮̯͙͈̻̝͓͖͙̦̰͍̖̜̲̰̞͎͈̭̯̳͕̗͓͈̭̫̼̯̪̞̯̰̲̘̭͎̪̱̗̝̝̞̤̱͉͙̯͎̬͎̙̜̗͉̩̦͕̪̳͇͙̺̙̰̠͚͎̜̠͔̬͎̺̣͕̜̊̓̃̐̂́͂̎̐̾̔̽̀̉́̍̊̂̿̎͂͐̎̐̄̍̔̋̐̃͗̈́͂̀̒̊̎͘͘̕̚̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅa̸̡̧̡̡̨̡̨̛̛͙̣̘̳͎͖̥̝̟̱̩̥͙͉̝̲̙̮̩̩̹̱͔͎̥̹̻̜͚̭̬̳͚̤̙̖̯͎̱̫̞̪̻͖̱̞͔̭̻̺͚͚̯̬͓͓̳͇̳̦͓̞͈̮̤̭̣͉̲̞͚̘͗̆̃͌̅̍͊̓̈̇̌̒͊͑̊̏̊͌̈̓̿͗̒̏̒͊͒̏̃̎̒̀̅̾̍̀͘͘͜͝͠ͅt̵̢̡̨̧̧̛̛̛̯̤͓̘̻̤͓̪̰͔̪̝̫͎̻͔͈͎͔͙͕͈̰͓͍̀̏͒̆͋̈́̈́͂̔͋͆͂̅͗̍̆̍̆̔̑͊̏̈͒́̽͊́̿͂́̓͛̽͐͌̌̐̈̇̃̓̆̍̅̃̔̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅͅh̸̨̨̡̢̢̡̢̧̡̧̢̡̨̡̭̜̬̬̙͕̗̙̻̯̠̘͙̻̥͉͚̼̗͚͇͉̰͍̥͉̗͎̬̫͖͉͔̼̮̯̞̫̬̟̻͉̖̙̥̫͖̬͚̟̜̭͇͎̭̘̝̲̤͕͎̰̭̗̯̮̤̙̙̯͍̞̭͚͔͎̞̹̲̟͉̩̭̖̱̠͍̺͈̟̩̋̆̈́͆̍̆̄̏͜ͅͅȇ̸̢̢̨̨̧̛̜͍̺͎̬̪͙̻̝̣͓͈̺̩̳̟̲̠̣͈͎͎͈͉̙̪͖̳̺͇̹̊̍͊͑̿͊̌͛̿̓͊̾̀͂͛̉͆̾̽͆̈̏͛̊͛̍̈́̇͋̔͂̑͐̂̿͊̽͑͘̚͘͝͝͠͝ͅͅŕ̵̨̡̨̨̢̧̡̧̨̘̟͙̦̲̲̪̦̙̼̠̳͚̞̦̞͖͚͇̳͖̲̭͕̜̫̳̖̙͖͉͎̘̘̤̠͈̬͕̝̻͚̥͍͕̠̥͙̙̪̖̯͍̘̘̲̣̹̜̪̲̭̟̮̫̖̤̰͔̩̩͉̲͚̟̝̦̬̪̘̬̮̱͔̻̦̼̃̐̂͋̐̅̋͒̉͛́̅̈́̒̒͆̑̆͊̒͒̀̍̈́̍͌̍̏̔͋͌̒̍̌͛̓̈̂̐̕͘͘͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̶̢̡̨̛̠͇̹̯͕͍̻̟̼̼̗̩̱̗̙̱̥̜̬̫̜͎͉̺̣͓̟̯̱͖̣̞̠̝̥͍̲̳̙̠͔̹̘̲̲̻̖̈́̊͋͜͜ą̵̡̧̟͕̬̳̜͈͈̳̝̜̣̬͔͈͈͎͉͍̯̟̞̺͎̝͇̰̥͖̬̯͙̤̬̼̲̦̯̭͓̠̺̳̱̰̮̎͋͆̈́͌͆̎̉̓̇̐͋͋́̃̉̈̄̏̓̉̿̅̒̉̒̉͂͛̄̀̇̒͊͛́͊̎́͆̌̆́̌͂̈́̽̋͛͗̑̊̀́̍͊̌͆͊͐͆̅̒̊̉̾̄͛̑̕͘͘͘͘͝͝͝͝͠͠͝n̸̡̛̛̛̛̛̙͎̬̦̠̼͓͈̝̾̍͑͛̅̒̾́̌̍͛̇̋̇̓̏͛̔͛̈́͆̿̌͐̿͊̿́͒̍̃̀̈͐̐̆͐̉̒̂̉̀̅̇̾͋̍͒̋̈̌̿͒͐̍́͗̀̌̌̚̕̕̕͘̚͘͘̚͜͠͝͝͝d̴̡̢̢̛̛̛̺̠̳̬͎̞̲̣̲̱̳̪̹͉̝̠̱̗̙̫̠̹̼̙̝͉̲̟̮̙̙̮̻̹͈̦̙̞͚̜̙̖̞͓̙̭͉̃̽̌̅̔̾̈́̒̽͑́̒͋̓̈́͆͋̽̒̃̽̋̐͌͂̍͑́̽̋̍͗̋͗͂̅̽̈̈̾͐̄̃̕̕͜͠͠͝͠͝ͅͅ ̵̡̡̢̛̛̗͚͍̺͇̲̳̯͓̰͍̙̮̙̜̟̞̣̼͕̝͔͙̺̫͈͈̠̻̘̱͍̦̭͔͈̤̺̗̮͕̦̞̘͍̯̻̝͓̤̳̫͔̩͉̬̈́͋̈́̐͒́̔́́̿̓̆͐̎͆̇͒̄̈̿̓̑̾̏̔̿͊̌͆͒̒͊̓̅̓́̔̅̀̀̀̃̿̂̑͂͆̅̎̾̏̓̂̈́͛͌̇̾͌͐̈̂̆͐̅̓̍̓̃̆͗̃͛̏̒̌̀̅͊́̽̐̆̿́̌͘͘̚̕͘̕̕͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠t̷̢̥͓̄͗̾̄̅̚͜r̵̨̡̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̛̛͍͙͚̥̱̞̜̦̜̼̺͉̠̬͎̰̻̜̼̫̤͓͖͖̤͇̞̥̖̈́͊̆̓͊̑̑̋̒̈́̔̆͆́̐͛͑͊͋̇̈́̓̑̍̏͐͛̽̋̎͑̃̈́͒̇̂̇̌͂̀̍̊̇̓̋̈́̌̏̕͘̚̕̚͝͝͠ǎ̴̡͓͓̯̘̥̱̱͖̦̺͓̘͉͖̞̟̦͈̜̥̰̘̞͈̦̠̼̯̙̭̼͚̟̖̲̠̝̜̐̅͆̏̈́̍́͂̃̾͑̓͋̽̄̾́̾̆̾͒͋̎͂̈́͘̕̕̚͜ͅͅf̷̢̡̡̧̢̨̡̧̢̢̧̡̧̫͖̖͇̲̫̮͕͉͓̩̪̳̹̩͎̖̟̤̤̲̟̪̫̻̻̖̟̦͉̼͎͖̭͍͖͎̖̳̳͙̜͉̝̘̺̖͚̙͉͕͙̯͖̞͚̮̲̻͉͙̺̭͓͎̤͙̦̦̺̯͕̜̰͍̳̙̦͉̪̥́͋̓̅̀͋͐̀̄̊̆̉̒̐͒̀̏̈̇̊̉̆̐̏̾̀̀̓͛͆̍̾͗͌̀̄̔͒̀̍̈́͆̔̒̑̏̍̏͆́̾̐̂͋̂̔̂́̓̓̌͌̉͛́̒̐̽̏́̑͊́̌̆̂̑͋̇̈́͌̑̿̅͗̚̕͘̕̚͜͠͝͝͠͠f̴̨̨̛̹͌̂̓͌͛̀͑̾̓̍͗̽͆̉̊͗̇́̍͌̊͐̔̈́̊̇͆̄̃̑̕̕͘͘͘͠͝͝͝͠i̴̧̡̢̢̧̢̨̨̧̧̧̛̛͎̗̳̦̘̙͓̦̙͔̜̼̘͇͇̺̭͉̠̩̟̤̥̘͙̤̩͔̪̱̻͈̪̼̼̞̠͎̟̹͕̻̭̤̪̲͕̟̺̻̻͖͕͚̣͇̖̰̝̩͈̤͕͇͕̝͙̙̪͔̗̫͇͎̙̲̲͖̗̘͉̲̣̤͎̔̐̆͒̄̈́̀̎̃̃̅͆̌̈́̽̈́̅̈́̑̄̇͒͐̀̐̀̒̍̀̓͌͗̓̽́͗̓̎͂͛̅̑̔̀͛̈́̽̾̃̊͊͆̄̍͑̍̆̌̾͗̄̊̽̉̅̆̀̎̀͑̿̎̋̄̆̃͐̾̏͛͒̍̋̅͘̕̚̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅc̷̛̛͚̝̻̣̞̓́̃́̀̃̓͗͌̂͛́̒̊͑̓͆̇̈́͑̏̆̀͌̑͂͂̄͌̉̔̋́̎͒̿͗͒͛̇͛̿̎̍̕̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ ̴̢̧̢̡̨̢̡̨̡̢̢̛̺̘̹̯̤̩̘̯͔̞̟̬̠̣̟̻̥̜̤͔̥͕̠̥̞͎̗̩̱̮͉͔͎̲̯̱̙̜̥̳̮͔̦̣͖͔̜͉̗̪̳̹̦̤͇̣̙͕̯̫̖̝̼̹͍̠͎͓̗͎̦͓̲̯̱̠̰͇̮̹͔̝͉͙̹̜̹͈̹̥͖̣̳̲͖̓́͌̈́̈́̀͌̄͂̌̾́̍̔̊̓̿͋͂͋̈́̋́́̒̓̀̒̃͂̀͑̐͛̆̆͒̈́̅̿͊͌̍͗̌̌͆̂͌́̉̏̒̓͊̾̒̓̋̽͐̏̾͘̕͜͝͠͝ͅͅr̸̨̢̛̪̞̬͓͔̥̤̣͔̭̥̙͉̦̗̠̳̩͙̂̈́͑͑̿̋̓̀͋͆̋̕͝͝ë̴̢̡̨̬͈͉̖̞͔͎͓͖̼̘̬͕̰͈̥͈̝̩͎͉͉̫̜͚͕̤͔̟̯͓͎̟͙̜̭̩̗̮͎̗̤͇̝̩͎̜̺̯͕͇̝͎̯͙̖͙̮̗̮̘́̑͑͛̂̅̄̌̽̓̒̾̿͆̏̏͐͛̾̂̃͑͆̅̄̿͋̅͂̈́̽͋͒̎͐̒̓͆̌̉͑͊́̀̈̾͛̋͑̋̎̈̀̽̀͊̏͘͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅp̴̧̧̡̢̢̢̛̛̛͚̟͓̖̭̪̻̪̲̬̥̙̥̰̼̹͎͕̪̞̮̺̰̬̘̫̤͉̦͙̮̖̙̹̻͔̖̮̲̞̣̻̜̠͇̬͚̱̦̼̲̮̀̂͌̍̈̒̍̋̌̏͐̓͛̉̂̈̀͑̈́͊͗͋͗́̂̎̎̃͆͒̅̑̇́̈͐̾̀̔̒̉͑͒̅̓̈́̋͋̀̍̄̿̌̀̉͆̇̔̈́͗̋̄̓̇͗̎̉̆͊̒͗̚̕͘͘̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͠͠ͅͅͅơ̶̢̡̧̨̡̛̛͔̦̼̰̠̯̰̟̲̣̜͙̲͙̪̱̱͕̺̪͈͉̺̻̙̥̲̩̲̩͔̠͚̩͓̞̠̯̟̫̣̗̦̰͉͚͙̺͎̼͖̥̙͈̯̲̝̞͎̻͕̮͔̰̖͔̭͙̩̼͔̫̹̘͓͔̜̘͍̍̅̄͋͑̋̍̊̉̄̈̽̈͐̀͌͐̆͊͂̐̋̃̎͆͛̐̀̂̿̈́͂́̈̌͐̇̀̒͋͑͐́͌̐̇̊͆̀͂͋̏́͋͆̏͗͂͑̂̓̽͘͘̚̕̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͠͝͝ͅͅͅr̴̨̨̨̧̨̛̘͕͈͔͙̠̬̯̩̗̰̗̬̦͈̗̝̣͓͓̟͕͙͈̠̘̻͓̭̝̘̦̦͓̭̘͙̻̙̼̩̰̝͈̱̝̱̬͉͙̣̖̮̲͈̙̱̩̣͕̦̰̮͔͈͓̙̮͍̳̟̠̞͎̱̣̰͕̩̝̲̝͐́́̍̈͐͋̐̑̌͋̓̈́̈͗̿̈̈́͗̑̚͜͜͜͜͜͝ͅͅţ̴̢̨̧͇͉͎̣̬̣̝̗̬̹͇̮̞̈́̐̌̇̈́̌͊̐̅̂̌̂͒͌́̈͌̂̊͗̍̿͑͋̎̓͂̀̎̎͒̾̏̒͌̃̄͋̌̾̍̈́̐̏͑̊̍͑͆̉̓́̆̌̾̓͊̊̈̑͘̚̕͘͘̕͝͝͝͝͝s̴̢̢̡̛̬̹͚̻͉̦̦̣̦̠̜͕̤̳͓͙̟̬͕̘̦̿͗̉̏̒͆̓̄͊͌͛͂͑̒̃͛͘͜͝͝!
Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Honestly, probably bc Nightvale and Alice are by the Same Dudes, a lot of these points are the same as Alice Isn’t Dead, but it’s less scawy and more funney. Also hits the “horror, but make it kind of a sitcom” vibes. Doesn’t have the same road trip vibes, but DOES capture the exact weirdness of South Western USA, so I’m still giving it “fucked up americana” credit. If you’ve never been to New Mexico ur like this is an exaggeration clearly no desert town is subject to like ACTUAL cosmic horror and unexplainable sights but I’m telling you New Mexico is just Like That. (I highly recommend visiting the land of enchantment if you ever get the oppurtunity it is a deeply odd and wonderfully unsettling experience.) Look man it’s gay it’s a horror comedy cecil has a wonderfully soothing voice and it hates capitalism so fucking much like oh my god so much what more could you want.
MINI REC ALERT: Wolf 359! I have nothing deep to say about this I just like it and my gut tells me that y’all would enjoy it too I know there isnt much for physical descriptions in the show but I know in my heart that the main character is so so pretty and so so stupid. I KNOW yall like some himbos that experience character growth.
Okay since It’s my party and I’ll speak if I want to rapid fire list of podcasts I just like and want more people to listen to even though I’m behind on like all of them shhhhh: The Penumbra Podcast, BomBARDed, Dungeons and Daddies, Stellar Firma, Wonderful!
SONG RECS
okay these aren’t like replacement recs or anything they’re just really good and I almost certainly would have put them on some sort of supernatural playlist in 2013 but I don’t, like, have a good playlist for them now so I’m subjecting y’all to them also they all have the youtube link for ease of access
Woah There Kimmy-  Felix Hagan & the Family
Devil’s Backbone- The Civil Wars
Blood On My Name- The Brothers Bright
Awake O Sleeper- The Brothers Bright
The Bottom of the River- Delta Rae
Old Number 7- The Devil Makes Three
The Bullet- The Devil Makes Three
In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company- The Dead South
Bartholomew- The Silent Comedy
Pomegranate Seeds- Julian Moon
Curses- The Crane Wives
Tongues & Teeth -The Crane Wives
OKAY THAT’S IT! THAT’S ALL FOLKS! FUCK!
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What I got from the swap event
Lucifer swapped be like “I feel like my IQ has dropped by just wearing Mammon’s clothes. Also I demand affection right this second.”
The spell seemed to effect Mammon the worst, dunno why. Possibly bc he was under its effects the longest? But it made him pick up his brothers habits, his music taste and tea and shit. I can only speculate on that one. Maybe Lucifer just Needs a routine. Maybe its just some spell stuff idk. But either way mammon has an existential crisis
Levi swapped gained the focus to read full books and you know what good for him. got insecure that he might loose his otaku cred which i understand i feel u. I wanna hug him and tell him its ok for his interests to change its still HIM and hes still EXCITED about it
Satan swapped was obsessive with the skin cream and is Asmo like okay?? Does he have sensory issues? Is it a compulsion?? Im starting to think his obsession with skin care might not just be an aesthetic choice
Asmo swapped just got hyperfocused on video games. I feel like the theme here is it swapped their clothing and special interests and thats how the spell worked. Oh he also got some of Levi’s self esteem issues
Beel got incredibly sleepy ofc but also felt really guilty about it and I wonder how much of this is him not being used to being able to have an active role in taking care of his family and how much of it is from Belphie too, cause belphie has had a couple lines about being jealous that his brothers get more time to do stuff cause they dont sleep as much so?
Belphie ofc got hungry but also was too anxious to sleep. Almost word for word. So basically my main takeaway from this event is that Beel is this gif from gravity falls
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gnocchighoul · 4 years
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the undateables get turned into cats
(a continuation of this post!)
~
Diavolo
Man… if you thought Beel was a big cat… 
Diavolo is a big cat.
Literally. Like, you’re pretty sure he’s a lion or something. He’s fucking HUGE. 
His paws are the size of your head, and when he flops down on you it literally knocks the breath out of your lungs. He probably broke one of your ribs, but you’re only 80% sure. 
If you’re walking side by side and he leans into you, there’s like a 70% chance that you’re gonna get knocked on your ass. For your sake, I hope you have decent balance.
He definitely only lets you, Lucifer, and Barbatos around him while he’s stuck in this form. 
He also really is not aware of his own strength in this form. 
Everyone realized that when you and Lucifer showed up to the palace and Dia went to love-tackle Lucifer, expecting the demon to catch him like he normally does, but instead ended up tackling his ass to the floor.
Diavolo was way too excited about it.
Lucifer was miffed.
(You got it all on video.)
Without his goofy smile or laugh, Dia’s eyes are like. Really fucking intense.
Lowkey… he’s a little bit terrifying.
But.... he’s also baby. 
Give him snuggles. Smush his face. Kiss his big dumb nose. Squish his big toe beans. Literally just throw yourself on top of him and snuggle him like a body pillow.
He LOVES IT.
Lucifer is horrified. Probably considers ending your life right then and there.
Barb thinks it’s fucking hilarious.
(It’s not that Dia necessarily Enjoys the experience of being turned into a cat -- he’s just Very sure that Lucifer is going to literally devote his life to fixing this, so he figures he might as well try to have a good time while it lasts.)
Barbatos
...He’s very chill but is also experiencing the BIGGEST existential crisis because he doesn’t fucking have hands to do anything. 
Listen, he’s not opposed to taking breaks. He enjoys relaxing too. But there’s so much shit that needs to be done and he can’t do any of it and it’s driving him up the wall.
Not that you would ever know, though. He’s very calm, even if he’s screeching on the inside.
So it’s basically canon that Barbatos helps Diavolo manage his time and keeps him from slacking off on his princely duties he’s literally a babysitter 
But like.
Come on. 
Diavolo is not gonna listen to a cat.
Diavolo gets up to so much mischief during the time that Barb is a cat, and since the prince is so busy being The Worst™, cat-Barb ends up spending most of his time with you.
Lowkey it’s weird as shit having a cat supervise you.
He’s sitting deathly still on the counter, spine ramrod straight, tail wrapped around his legs, eyes wide and all-seeing -- just Staring at you while you cook. 
You’re pretty sure he’s judging you. 
He’s actually reliving the trauma of Asmo finding him in all of his feline-glory and abducting him to play dress up.
(Cat-Barb is the least likely to bite or hiss at anyone, and he probably won’t throw a tantrum over being turned into a cat. Definitely wouldn’t mind sitting in your lap for some snuggles.)
(Is Very relieved when he’s finally turned back into a demon, though. Never wants to experience that again and is Not opposed to punishing whoever cursed him.)
(With Diavolo’s permission.)
Simeon
Don’t tell Asmo, because he’ll probably cry kick your ass, but Simeon is the prettiest as a cat. 
He doesn’t Totally mind being turned into one, either. If anything, this will make for interesting writing-experience. 
He’s way too nice as a cat. You don’t see his claws at all, ever. If he gets stuck in an unfavorable situation (cough cough, Satan trying to mother him) he’s more likely to run off than he is to put up a fight
He’s very graceful and quiet. 
Purrs when you pick him up, because he once heard that cat purrs are healing to humans. He doesn’t know if that’s actually true or not, but he does it anyways. 
He feels the safest with you, and definitely doesn’t mind when you scratch him behind the ears or hug him like a stuffed animal.
He won't just flop into your lap like some of the others -- most likely he’ll just kinda like. Weirdly lean against you. It’s cute though!
Honestly he’s gonna be content to just sit with you while you do your own thing. Maybe watch a movie or listen to some music with him, and he’ll be a-okay with it.
But.
If you give him catnip. 
he will literally just lay on his back on his floor for HOURS and knock the fuck out.
(Why do you even have catnip? I dunno, you tell me)
You assume that he’s dreaming about the celestial realm. Or TSL. or like. The secrets of the universe.
You can literally move his body however you want -- stretch his leggies, open his mouth, flip him over, pick him up --literally Anything-- and he just Will Not wake up.
Lowkey you think you might have killed him
When he Does finally return to the land of the living, he’s just gonna wanna snuggle u. 
But also turn him back into an angel Now, this has been a (mostly) relaxing experience but he’s ready to go back to normal now, thank u sdfghj
Luke
(Well at least he’s a cat and not a dog)
He is,,, the littlest baby kitten ever. Save him, dear god, before any of the brothers find him
Seriously, he’s so small
You can hold him in just one hand :(( he’s just a little boy :((
Don’t put him in your pockets or anything tho, he’ll be Very upset if you do. He just wants to sit on your shoulder and scream at the world with unbridled fury.
He’s a bumper car kitten. His lil tail sticks straight up and he has a lil round tumby :((
...
You know how all kittens are basically born feral?
Apparently, ferality also applies to those who are turned into kittens.
Basically, he still has the attitude of a chihuahua. 
Hissing, spitting, swatting--his instincts to just smack the shit out of everything and anything are Always operating at 100%. he’s a little firecracker. 
Does that thing where cats will hold something and kick the shit out of it with their back paws.
He’s very feisty. 
It isn’t a big deal, at least until Mammon makes fun of him and kitten-Luke LAUNCHES off your shoulder at him, like a little furball-missile of claws and teeth.
(Mammon just kinda catches him by the scruff and hands him back to you--but he does leave him alone after that lol)
His ears are basically always flat on his head, because he’s constantly Very upset with this whole situation and doesn’t want ANYBODY coming near him that isn’t you, Simeon, or maybe Solomon. He prefers you and Simeon, though.
He Might let Beel near him. Maybe. 
(If he promises not to eat him.)
kitten-Luke is the most likely to knead blankets and pillows (and also probably your leg). He has no fucking clue why he’s doing it, but he can’t stop.
I hope you’re prepared for joint parental custody with Simeon, because that’s what’s going to happen sdfghjklkg
Solomon
He’s very calm. It’s kind of unsettling. 
Will just sit on tables, watching everyone and everything in the room while his fluffy tail occasionally flicks around.
You can practically see the gears churning away in his mind while he observes. 
Will occasionally lift a single paw in the air, like he’s going to move or wants to say something, but then he will just sloooowly lower it again. Then just keeps staring.
He is the most likely to just wander off on his own. He just randomly vanishes, which is a Wee bit worrying, cause, y’know. He’s still shady.
You really don’t see much of him during his time as a cat. You have no idea where he’s going or what he’s up to, but he does occasionally bring you presents from his travels.
Even as a cat, he has the good sense to not bring you dead things. But you are a little concerned when he brings you a spell jar with glowing blue liquid in it. 
Like, what the fuck? Did he make it himself with his little cat paws?
Even after turning back into a human, he refuses to tell you how he got it. 
You keep it anyways.
Probably figures out how to talk with his normal voice, and scares the absolute shit out of you the first time he says something.
After he’s had his fun, he figures out himself how to turn back into a human and has you assist him with the process.
(Partially because he wants to study you, partially just because he likes you.)
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