#like... some dedicated people will date for months before getting intimate... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinkthrone445 · 5 months

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hi my love! I hope you are well. <3

can I suggest a smut + fluff where the reader is insecure about some scars she has on her body, and the poor girl is scared that Melissa won't find her pretty? And when Mel finds out about this, does she show how beautiful and precious Y/N is to her?

Thanks for the sweet request! I'm good and I hope you´re too. I also hope that you like this💕

🎄Happy holidays yall! Smutsanta it's bringing hot requests for naughty people and your names are on my naughty list! Enjoy!🎄

~Let me remind you~

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender: Fluff - Smut ⚠️

Warnlings : (+18) strong words, fingering, vulgar language. Age gap(legal)

Summary:The thought of being intimate with the redhead was scary and your insecurities played tricks on you, but Mel takes care of chasing away all your fears.

Tired, that's how you felt. Your mind anywhere but where you should be paying attention, on the professor who was talking in front of you explaining the important topics that would go into your next exam. In your mind, the last conversation with your girlfriend, Melissa, kept playing

-"I can't believe that this is your last exam and you'll already be an elementary school teacher, and it's so good that you're already assured of a position at Abbott when you leave here from college. We should celebrate this! What do you think about renting a cabin for the two of us for the weekend? We could have a relaxing soak in a hot tub, go to a restaurant, spend a lot of time together..."-Spending a lot of time together, that played over and over in your head. You and Melissa had been dating for a couple of months, because of her schedule and yours, you had never been together too much time like a whole weekend, a weekend dedicated just to you and her. While you were excited to spend so much time with her, it also made you nervous to think about how intimate it would be. The times you and Mel had been together before, it had been in a hurry, a quick visit to the dorm room at the university, where she didn't have time to completely undress you and only took off your pants to put her hand inside to make you cum before your roommate arrived, or a quick visits to her school, where you went to her car to do it, where there wasn't much room and she couldn't see you well.

But this time would be different, Melissa would have all the time and space in the world to be with you and see your body, see every inch of your body. See every imperfection on your body. A sigh left your lips, you felt sad just imagining her seeing you completely naked, and if she didn't like it? What if she regretted being with you? What if she was disgusted? It would be hard to go to the same school to work if you knew she was disgusted by you or if she couldn't stand to see you.

The sound of your teacher ending class and your classmates getting up to leave, took you out of your thoughts. After taking your things, you went back to your room. A couple of hours later, your cell phone rang, it was a message from Melissa, to know if you would go out together, to book the cabin. Although you weighed in on a thousand excuses, none of them carried enough weight to tell her that you wouldn't go, so you ended up accepting your girlfriend's invitation.

As the weekend approached, your nerves grew bigger and bigger, the knot in your stomach hurt more, and you had more and more doubts about whether you would be able to do so.

The day arrived and Melissa excitedly picked you up on campus, helped you carry your bag to the car and let you choose the playlist while she drove. When you arrived at the cabin, it was a beautiful and very decorated place, it was a romantic and delicate house, so romantic that the only thing it did was make your nerves grow.

Melissa had made many plans to make the most of the weekend, romantic dinners, evening walks on the beach, brought movies to watch, and asked to be left with groceries at the cabin so she could cook your favorite meal for you. But your mind only traveled to the same moment, the moment when you're in bed together and she sees you completely naked. You tried to avoid it by doing it somewhere else where she couldn't completely see you. When you were in the restaurant having dinner, you proposed to go to the bathroom because you knew that they would have little room and it would have to be fast, but the redhead denied saying that she felt too full to move. When you walked along the beach you proposed it to her again, since there was little light and she couldn't see you very well, but Mel shook her head again, saying how uncomfortable it was after having to scoop out the sand that sticks to every inch of your body. With no other ideas, you sighed and didn't keep trying.

Arriving home, while Mel was putting down her coat, you went upstairs to the room planning what to do, but you were startled when you felt the redhead's hands on your waist as she kissed your shoulders

-"Don't panic, it's just me... Let me tell you, that dress looks beautiful on you and I'm so happy we were able to go out together, it feels nice to spend time with you without hurries..."-She spoke in a soft, loving voice, and you smiled

-"You look beautiful too... Thank you for everything you planned..."-You replied smiling but a sigh left your lips and the redhead looked at you worriedly

-"Are you okay hon?"-Mel asked turning to see you face to face and you nodded not very convinced, your eyes were a little watery from the fear you had and that did not go unnoticed by her, it only worried her more and she hugged you tightly-"hey hey, What's going on? You know you can trust me"

-"I know, it's just something very stupid..."-You whispered and she frowned

-"It's not a stupid thing if it makes you want to cry"-Mel kissed your forehead and you sighed hiding in her neck

-"Can I ask you something?"- You whispered against her neck and she nodded, gently massaging your back-"I know this weekend is just for us, to enjoy and have a good time, but when we do, sex I mean, can it be with the lights off?"-Your voice was just a whisper, like the voice of a frightened child, or like when you try to scream in a dream and your voice doesn't come out. The redhead looked at you confused, stopping her caresses

-"Why are you asking for that hon? It's not the first time we'll do it, plus if you don't want to do it you could have told me, you know I would never force you to do anything, it just confuses me that you were quite insistent on doing it in different places earlier tonight...If it's because you're not waxed, I've told you before that I don't care"-Melissa looked at you trying to figure out the reason and you sighed

-"It's not that... The previous times we've done it, you haven't seen me, you've only touched me, you never took all my clothes off... And I'm embarrassed... I'm ashamed and scared that now that you'll have time to take a good look at me, you won't like what you see"-You responded by avoiding her gaze and she gently grabbed your cheeks to get you to pay attention to her

-"You have a perfect body, what are you talking about?..."- she asked with concern in her voice

-"It's not perfect... You only say that because you haven't seen it, but it's full of marks and some scars... My previous boyfriends and friends made it very clear to me how ugly my body looks with that..."You answered and now it was her turn to sigh shaking her head

-"My love... No one it's perfect, we all have our flaws, I mean, look at how many wrinkles I have or how the skin on my arms hangs a little... And let's not start talking about how the years had left my crotch... But, when we are with the right person, it doesn't matter anymore how ugly we see ourselves, we can be perfect in someone else's eyes. The things you are ashamed of, will only become reasons to love yourself more in the eyes of the right person. Where you see scars that embarrass you, I see reminders of how strong you are, it should never be a reason to feel ashamed, but to feel proud. The marks on your body show life experiences, no one would ever complain about the words and marks we find written on the pages of books that tell us a story, no one should ever complain about the marks on your skin that tell your story. Your body is yours and you shouldn't let anyone say anything bad about it, nor believe them when they do... But when you have doubts and don't feel pretty, I'll be there reminding you every day how perfect you are. Okay?"-Melissa spoke in a soft voice and you nodded still hidden in her neck. She carefully grabbed your blouse-" I want to see you... Can I take off your blouse?"-She asked and you nodded again, pulling back a little so that she could take it off-" Can I take your pants off?"-she asked again and you nodded, letting her do it. Mel very carefully and delicately removed your bra, knelt carefully at your feet, and also removed your underwear. A shiver ran through your body and you tried to cover yourself with your hands when she stood up in front of you, looking at you very intensely, but the redhead didn't let you. She took your hands gently, kissed your knuckles and then took your waist carefully, you thought maybe she would start kissing you, but instead, she carefully turned you around making you stand in front of a very large mirror in the room. Seeing yourself so exposed only made you embarrassed and you looked down. Mel clung closer to you, hugging you from behind and resting her head on your shoulder, with her hand she grabbed your chin and made you look in the mirror-"Look at yourself sweetheart, there's nothing wrong with you"-Her fingertips rested gently on your scars, running very gently over them-"Nothing wrong with you, just reasons to love you more... Do you believe me?"-whispered against your ear and kissed your neck

-"I'm trying"-You responded smiling when you felt her kisses

-"I'll kiss you until you believe me"-She replied and you felt how her hands caressed your waist and legs, her mouth leaving kisses and marks on your skin. The whole situation was very intimate, very intoxicating, her perfume and her soft skin surrounding you, her hands running over your body, her soft words and caresses in places that even you wouldn't touch. The shame you had turned into desire, a desire to continue listening to her sweet voice, a desire to continue to feel her caresses, a desire to be in her presence forever. But even so, you were still finding it hard to look at yourself in the mirror. Melissa's hands gently moved to your crotch, parting your folds with one of her fingers, while her other hand massaged one of your breasts, that by the desire and the moment, your nipples were very stiff and hard, very sensitive to her caresses.

A groan left your lips and you closed your eyes resting your head on her shoulder, but that made her stop all her movements. Confused, you opened your eyes and saw her seriousness in the reflection of the mirror

-"I want you to see yourself, or I'll stop my movements... I want you to see how perfect you are and get used to seeing yourself the way you are, I want you to see how I touch you, I want you to see yourself react to my caresses, I want you to see yourself until the moment you come on my fingers"-Mel bit your ear and you let it out a quiet cry. When she saw that you were still looking at yourself in the mirror, she resumed her movements. Her index finger began to caress your sex gently in circles, slowly but firmly. Your hips began to move involuntarily against her hand, wanting to keep up with her, but she pulled you closer to her body. Her crotch brushing against your ass only made you desperate and move more against her. The redhead moaned in your ear and her movements picked up faster. You were overwhelmed by the delicacy of the moment, how could she say such sweet words while her fingers opened and touched you like that. Her touch felt hot and addictive, like the warmth of a campfire when you're cold, her heart beating on your back, heaving and uncontrolled like yours, her breath hot against your neck, her lips giving little kisses and bites on your skin, one of her hands holding you against her crotch while the other hand caressed your button desperately. Feeling and seeing all that in the mirror, made your body start to spasm. But seeing how your breasts began to bounce and your hips moved uncontrollably against her hand made you orgasm on the redhead's fingers. A moan in unison left your lips and hers, with her free hand she took your jaw and kissed you gently while her fingers were still making lazy circles over you clit.

With your body tired and agitated, you turned around hugging her and hiding in her neck again, not out of embarrassment this time, but out of lack of strength. Mel kissed your head and carefully guided you to the bed, still hugging you.

After a couple more rounds and sweet words, you fell asleep on her chest, both of you completely naked and your legs intertwined.

The next day, you woke up when the sun had already risen a couple of hours ago, you were confused by not seeing Mel next to you, but when you heard the noises from the kitchen, you knew that she was surely making breakfast. After stretching a little, you got up to look for something to wear, but you stopped in front of the mirror looking at your completely naked body with a smile, you were full of delicate and soft marks, but especially, Mel had taken it upon herself to kiss and highlight with marks all the contour of your scars, with your fingertips you ran your scars smiling and then you got dressed.

Going down to the dining room, you smiled at all the food on the table and the amazing smell, carefully approached the redhead and hugged her

-"Good morning beautiful, how did you sleep?"-she whispered against your hair and then kissed you

-"So good... I wish this weekend would never end, I don't want to forget everything that happened last night... I appreciate it so much..."-You whispered. Melissa walked away from you and turned on the stereo, smiling as you looked at her in confusion

-"You know, I read an article that said that when we associate a song with a moment, it makes it stick more etched in our memory, I'll put a song, so that every time you hear it or every time you doubt how beautiful you are, you remember this moment, how much I love you and how perfect you are"-She smiled before putting on the song and starting to sing it for you as she hugged you.

(This is the song that Mel it's singing, I dedicate to all the soft souls out there❤️)

#melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #abott elementary fanfic #melissa schemmenti abott elementary #abott elementary #melissa schemmenti smut

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allthelittlecreepycrawlies · 3 days

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For the "Alliances" theme, what about a sangyao arranged marriage where it's other people's idea and they fall in love after getting married?

"I'm sorry," had been the first thing his da-ge said when the negotiation party had returned from Lanling.

When their father had agreed to a betrothal arrangement with Jin Guangshan, pretty much no one in the sect believed it would actually hold. After all, it had become very apparent that Jin-furen had no interest in making the effort to have a second child with a husband who was probably already a carrier of an unfathomable number of intimate diseases by the time their son had been born, and it had been just as apparent that Jin Guangshan would never consider any of the numerous bastards he'd sired across the jianghu to be worth even half a moment of attention.

But, apparently, he'd found this 'Meng Yao' to be passable enough to use as a game piece, and had sent a demand for the agreement to be honored.

There had been some alterations to the terms, as Nie Huaisang found when he forced himself to read through all of the polite legalese.

Though he would still be the one to wear the veil, ostensibly taking on the wife role, he would generously be allowed to remain at home with his da-ge, with Meng Yao being registered as marrying into the Nie sect and moving to the Unclean Realms instead of the reverse.

Thus ridding Jin Guangshan of an unwanted son while still giving him a claim to the dowry.

The most auspicious date listed was probably the most egregious lie in all of it. Not even a whole month away, it gave the Jin sect an excuse not to throw a properly-designed wedding banquet while still letting them show off how rich they were in that they could still make a lavish party out of their cast-offs.

All in all, it was a blatant spit in the eye for both his brother and his future husband, and the only reason Nie Huaisang could see for his brother and the elders to have agreed to such rudeness was to keep him out of Lanling and out of Jin Guangshan's hands.

He figured would have to be better-behaved for his brother for awhile as thanks for taking such a beating to his pride.

Even if it meant, ugh, letting himself be dragged to saber training.

But the new terms of agreement honestly made him feel more sorry for his betrothed than for himself. Short of just getting rid of him like he'd gotten rid of all the others, Jin Guangshan couldn't have made his haughty disdain for his son -for everyone involved, really, but especially his son- more obvious, and unless Meng Yao was a complete idiot, he had to be aware of how little his father cared.

Well.

If he was going to make the best of this garbage fire of an arrangement, he was going to need to know more about his husband-to-be than his name and who his father was.

---

It was almost time for their wedding party to leave for Lanling, so once the maids had finished fussing over his hair and makeup, Nie Huaisang read the notes from his spies one more time, then tucked them into the sleeve of his innermost robe.

As the carriage made its way along the road, he turned the information over in his mind, letting options spool out in front of him like threads ready to be pulled taut by the loom.

None of the spies had had any objections to Meng Yao as a person. They'd all found him soft-spoken, gentle, and clever; courteous even to servants, and pleasant to look at. He was just beginning cultivational training, but was dedicated and a quick study.

All in all, an ideal spouse, really.

But every one of them had painted an unflattering picture of his heritage. His father had been a regular customer of a courtesan in a brothel near the border between the Jiang and Wen sects, who'd suddenly found excuses to stop visiting when she bore a child a year to the day before Jin Zixuan had been born.

What a mess.

No wonder Jin Guangshan had wanted so badly to make use of him.

No wonder Jin Guangshan had wanted so badly to get rid of him.

But Nie Huaisang could see the potential that Jin Guangshan was willing to squander. If Meng Yao proved willing to play along, they could make it so that he'd be worth more than the bride price Qinghe Nie had paid in return for him.

---

Even under the veil, Nie Huaisang could see the stiffness in his betrothed's posture.

Though Meng Yao was clearly doing his best to remain composed, a polite smile painted on his otherwise-neutral expression, he still gave off an air of a man awaiting execution, or a fox with its leg caught in a snare.

As they knelt side by side to begin the ceremony, Nie Huaisang used the heavy fabric of their sleeves to hide when he laced their fingers together and gave the hand he held a gentle squeeze.

Meng Yao started the smallest bit in surprise, then... relaxed. Not enough that he stopped looking trapped, but enough that it was evident he'd appreciated the gesture. And even losing just that tiny sliver of iron in his spine already made him look more attractive.

This was going to work out for them.

Nie Huaisang was sure of it.

(Nie Huaisang would make sure of it.)

#mdzs #sangyao #sangyao week #nie huaisang #jin guangyao #others mentioned #fanfic

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servin-up-surveys · 11 months

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survey #165

Kissing someone with facial hair, do you mind? I've never kissed someone who had a whole lot of facial hair (at the time we were dating), but I doubt it would really bug me.

Would you ever enter any kind of pageant? Hell fucking no, I'm barely able to attend my niece's when Ashley decides she's doing one.

Do you have sympathy for hobos? ????????? DOES ANYBODY?????????????????? NOT???????????????????????????????

When holding hands, do you intertwine fingers? Girt and I do, yeah.

What's your opinion on Johnny Depp? I think he's a legendary actor more than anything, extremely talented, and I also think he's pretty damn attractive and also seems like a really good person.

If you write, isn't writer's block the most horrible thing? Yes, especially when you really want to write but words are a fuck

How old were you when you met your first love? I was 15.

Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? We did sometimes! Not often, but my sisters and I were always so excited when Mom was okay with it (like a good parent she was physically there with us, she didn't just hand us money). I have no idea if they're still a thing...

Your last ex finds out you’ve fallen in love with another person? She knew that already before I even cut ties with her.

Who was the last friend you added on Facebook? I want to say it was a former best friend's mom.

Have you ever encountered a black widow? Yes, I know I've seen a few in dark, cool corners and stuff. They're beautiful, but of course I never bothered them.

What letter does your surname begin with? "D."

Have you ever used a muscle stimulator before? Did it hurt? Yes, but only as an actual testing procedure on my legs. It was to see if the problem was actually nerve-related, but it wasn't, and it was a bit painful, primarily on the interior of my knee, THAT was unpleasant.

How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? This is the second time, the first time was only four-ish months and I know I just wasn't ready to date again yet so it never got very serious, I was really apprehensive to let myself love a guy again.

Do you know anyone who has gotten pregnant despite using contraception? Yes.

Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room? No, she's mentioned it gives her the "oh god my daughter's an adult" crisis for a moment lol, but it doesn't make her mad or genuinely upset or anything.

Would you ever get band artwork tattooed on you? I plan on getting some lyrics, however I will never incorporate band imagery (like a logo) with it; the lyrics can still be important to me even if some drastic thing happens that makes me dislike the band as people. I never want another tattoo that equates to love or idolship of a living person; I say "living" because I want a "crikey!" comic pop-up style tattoo in memory of Steve Irwin, but I mean he's dead, he's not gonna get canceled tomorrow lmao. In memorium tattoos are very different.

Do you think the last person you kissed has ever lied to you? I don't know, I doubt it, but given that we've known each other over a decade, it's possible.

Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? No, I am waaaay too paranoid for that.

Do you think it’s important for children to have a father figure in their life as they grow up? This is very heteronormative, no. Regardless of the parents' genders and how many guardian figures are involved, I firmly believe a child needs AT LEAST one dedicated parent figure, and not any that aren't truly invested in the child's life, because that can normalize dysfunctional relationships.

If you could have one more pet, what? A western hognose snake morph, probably a snow or high-expression lavender individual.

Something you want to buy real bad? A new, good quality phone.

Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yes, it's the reason I remained a virgin through high school despite being in a long-term, intimate relationship; I was religious then and abstinent. I dropped that whole mentality multiple years ago, though, but if my partner wanted to wait, yeah, that's fine.

Do you know anyone who writes huge essays when they message you? Yeah, but I totally don't mind that so long as you're not writing a novel in basically every message. I really really like when someone shows clear interest in talking, it's very reassuring to me as someone who constantly believes I'm a nuisance that is a chore to communicate with.

Do you think your first love still loves you? No, I'm sure he doesn't. I don't love him either though, so fair's fair, y'know.

Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? No.

Has your father met the person you currently love? Yes, it's wild when I remember that this guy's known my dad since my parents were still even together.

[TW: SUICIDE] Have you ever written or received a suicide note? I've written one, regrettably.

Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? Why or why not? No, and for anyone who's disturbed by breasts being used for what they're properly for, please do the entire world a favor and blast yourself into deep space, please.

What band would you most like to meet? guess i know it's really hard it's not like i'm annoyingly enthused by a band or anything

Do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? That mentality literally only applies to myself, and not because I believe it, but it's pure societal expectations. I know how bigger people are seen by a large percentage of the population, and it's made ME very ashamed of my weight, while I would never think that for another person. I'm always meanest to myself.

What’s the most disturbing thing you’ve ever been through? A wildly severe obsession with an ex-partner. Now that I'm over that, I can realize how so many things I did were just creepy and alarming.

Are you into PETA and all that? They are way too extreme for my liking, and also way too spiteful towards those that disagree with them. They promote some things I support, but they're just straight feral.

Does your family have a secret? Not a major one, but I suppose there is one among my immediate family: my niece Aubree's dad isn't Nick (sister's husband), she was born before they got together from a VERY shitty relationship. Her biological father has exactly zero to do with her, I think he met her like once as a literal infant. He's a pure fucking garbage human being, and luckily because of how young Aubree was, she has no memories where Nick wasn't "Dad." He legally adopted her as well so that there was never last name confusion. Ashley absolutely plans on telling her at some age; Nick doesn't want to, but too fucking bad, Ashley knows Aubree has the right to know, but I don't know exactly when she's gonna talk to her about it. We all know very, very well that Aubree is going to handle it EXTREMELY poorly, like there's basically no question about it, just knowing how her mind ordinarily works.

Any current family issues? My older sister likes to act like our mom doesn't exist any day but Fridays (she babysits), VERY conspicuously, and whenever confronted about it, she brushes it off with some bullshit excuse. This is probably the main source of stress and upset in my mom's life, like she has cried oceans about how Ashley's treated her since Nick and his family got involved. I can't fucking stand it.

Have you ever picked wild flowers? Oh yeah, plenty growing up.

Which mythological deity or creature is your favorite? Dragons, easy. I have a VERY prominent tendency to be drawn to media relating to dragons.

What’s the biggest spider you’ve come across? Besides the pet store tarantula, proooobably orb weavers?

Have you ever been bitten by anything venomous? No.

Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? Girt lol, he generally takes a shower immediately before coming here and for some reason I could just really tell the last time he was here.

What movie coming out are you most excited to see? Why? Barbie, it looks super fun.

If you have one, do you and your significant other have a similar taste in music? Yep.

Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? Yep, primarily in trans situations.

Have you ever dated someone who posted a ton of selfies on social media? No, but does that matter...? I'd have no problem with my partner being confident with how they look and wanna document their life???? Coincidentally though the majority of people I've dated just about never took pictures.

Are you on good or bad terms with your most recent ex? Bad.

What’s your favorite YouTube channel? I don't actually watch him anymore really, but as an individual, Markiplier; I look up to him very much and see him as a great person who puts their success to pretty good use. These days, I probably get the most actual entertainment out of Game Grumps.

What’s the highest you can count in a different language? To like a million in German.

Where would you like to be buried? I want to be cremated with my ashes probably spread in Yellowstone, ideally wherever I lay Teddy's, should I ever get permission for it.

Which of the following areas is going best for you right now: finances, work, love life, social life or education? Why do you say this? lol love life, 'cuz the other areas are on fire rn

Do you know any illegal immigrants? I knew at least one, but he got deported after getting involved with crime. He's still in Mexico, I recently learned. Supposedly he's straightened up a lot, but I don't know exactly how much I believe that, just knowing him.

Can you sit for long periods of time? It VERY much depends on what I'm sitting on; if it's cushioned in some way, usually I'm fine, but if it's just a shitty wooden chair, I REALLY can't; I'm so convinced that that cyst removal surgery caused a sensitive nerve or some shit, because ever since that time sitting for an extended period (and "extended period" isn't even that long in the big picture) has been able to reach a point where I am literally in physical pain, like I have to get up slowly or else it's agonizing to stand. I've got no other explanation but a sensitive nerve, because something changed.

Do you have any cavities? Yes, a last one in my bottom left wisdom tooth that's getting pulled out later this month.

Who was the last person to flirt with you, other than your lover? Uh, I don't think anyone else has while dating Girt, so I guess Sara?

Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? No, I feel like that would be really triggering for me.

Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? ^ well yeah, like around six times. I stopped keeping track at like four.

Whose place did you last chill at and with who? Girt's, with him, his mom, his mom's best friend, Girt's sister, nephew, and sister's boyfriend, and my mom came as well.

Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yes.

Would you prefer cherry Cola or vanilla Cola? Definitely cherry, I remember not liking vanilla very much.

Have you ever tried to draw an anime version of yourself? No, anime has never been my drawing style.

At what point were your parents most disappointed in you? I don't know and don't think I want to.

If you could have a neon light sign that said anything you wanted, or looked like anything you wanted, what would it be? I literally DO want a replica of the woman figure with "paradise" written with it that is featured in Silent Hill 2, in the Heaven's Night club. I'd love to have a room in my house that's dedicated to game stuff (more so for Girt than me haha), and it'd be so cool to have that in there.

Will you cry at your wedding? Oh I basically fucking know I will, my makeup's gonna be fucked lmao

If your last ex said they hate you, you say? I know.

What do you get cravings for the most? Soda.

Where was your senior prom held? The local community college.

What was the theme of your senior prom? I actually don't remember whatsoever.

Do you know what you want the theme of your wedding to be? If so, what would it be? It'd be REALLY fucking cool to make the kintsugi ideology be carried throughout various decor, especially because I want the theme to be black and gold. I think it'd be super fucking pretty and also cute and very factual that we make each other into something even better than we are naturally. I very much want gothic themes, too.

What color Christmas lights do you like best on your tree? I prefer all the colors. <3

At what age did you start puberty? Idk, I just know it was a normal time to start. I remember just how much I hated it and how self-conscious it made me.

Have you ever passed out? Once, I know I almost did at least twice more, but I feel like even a time or two more than that. Only one of those I can explain.

How old is the last person you kissed? He's 29 and convinced he's like, 93.

Where does your best friend live? About 30 minutes away from me by car; he's very close to our former high school, in the middle of shitfucknowhere, you get an amazing view there.

How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. Once upon a time I would've included Sara, but when I compare what I felt then to how I felt/feel with Jason and Girt, they are NOOOOOTHING alike. I do believe I loved her, though. Just not IN love, it's absolutely different.

Has anybody ever called you a tease? lol more than once

Have you ever seen your siblings naked? Well yeah, we grew up together.

What are you doing this weekend? I might actually be going down to meet Girt's grandmother; she's not well whatsoever and has cancer now that can't be treated with how weak she is, so it definitely sounds like she's not going to be around much longer and I really, really don't want to regret not meeting her if I have the chance; almost positive she's the last grandparent Girt has and I want to know her. We're just not 100% yet on what day they're going, and I also want Girt to ask his family if they're all even good with me coming; I can't imagine a world where they would care at all, his mom's probably gonna get on me for even checking lol, but the fact is that right now I am just Girt's girlfriend and I don't want to be overstepping into territory that would make anyone uncomfortable, especially since like, what if this is the last time they see her? I just want to know no one's bothered by me coming along. I know Sunday Girt and I will definitely be hanging out.

What’s your favorite hair color for girls? Probably pastel dyed colors, like gentle pinks, purples, oranges, etc. That's especially what I want on myself, but I really just liked colorful dyed hair in general, on anybody.

Does your first crush know you liked him/her? I never told him, so there's no way he absolutely knows. He mighta suspected it, I dunno.

Has anyone ever taken your clothes off of you before? Yeah.

What was the last seriously painful thing that happened to you? I recently stubbed my toe real fuckin hard.

Do you believe in Judgment Day? Sure don't.

Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? Yes.

If you had $100 dollars, how would you spend it? Save it towards getting a new, good-quality phone. I'm kinda thinking of offering human photoshoots again just because I wanna work towards this before Christmas...

You were given the opportunity to get a new cellular device, what do you choose? ... oh lol, I actually am not sure. I'd have to research and ask others.

Ever physically fought with a member of the opposite sex? No, only gentle playfighting with a partner that by no means was even remotely genuine "fighting."

What was the last thing you tried for the first time? A fruit smoothie this morning, I'm officially into those as breakfast. Today's I didn't like though, we didn't have nearly enough peaches so it mostly tasted like banana and cinnamon and I wasn't into it.

When was the last time someone admitted to having somewhat of an attraction to you? Well Girt.

Do you prefer to have more or less in common with your significant other? More.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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crimsonkenjii-writes · 3 years

Note

Congrats on the followers! You totally deserve it and more! 💖 Your work is incredible and I always look forward to your posts! From the alphabet prompts could you do D & H from the sfw section and Q, V, and S from the nsfw section for Giyuu 👀 (hehe it was difficult to choose all of the prompts were so, so good!!) Thank You 😙💕

Thank you so much!! I’m super glad to hear that people enjoy my works a lot ʕ⇀ᴥ↼ʔ♡

♡＊✿❀ ♡ ❀✿＊ * ＊✿❀ ♡ ❀✿＊* ❀✿＊♡

D - Dates

I can see this man planning a lot for dates

He doesn’t seem the type to like things last minute and would like to know at least a day in advance, so he usually plans them out unless you plan them out first

He doesn’t really follow the “stereotypical” version of romantic and kind of keeps it more casual but manages to make it feels very romantic

Like he doesn’t set up candles and rose petals with an expensive dinner and brand new jewelry, he’s more on the intimate and always wants to hold you close to him kind of romantic

I can see Giyuu going all out for anniversaries though. This man plans them months ahead. He’s all prepared and has a full list of things you two could do, what things he’s going to buy and spoil you with and probably even has some of the other Hashira’s who are willing to help, help set everything up

A typical date with him would be anything really lol

Going out to the garden, going to either of your favorite restaurants, going to a park, going sightseeing in a nearby town, going to festival, or even just chilling at either one’s home

Either way, Giyuu’s full attention is on you. And he doesn’t stop touching you

He will always either be holding your hand, have both your arms interlocked, hugging you, kissing you, messing with small strands of your hair, everything

This man is dedicating his entire day with you

Most of the time Giyuu hangs out with you, he qualifies as a date lol

“I better get going now, Y/N,” he kisses the top of your head, “There’s a Hashira meeting I have to go to. Thank you for the date”

“The date? Giyuu, we were just chilling on my engawa the entire time??”

“Yes, I know.” He’d just say blankly. He’d then smile at how confused you look and kiss you again before he walks away

H - Hair

Fuck. Yes! Play with this man’s hair!! He loves it!!!

He doesn’t really take a lot of care of his hair and literally just puts it up in a ponytail to maintain it

It gets tangled a lot so one day you’re just like “Giyuu, what the hell, why is there such a big knot in your hair?”

“There is?”

“Giyuu!” You just grab your brush and start combing his hair as gently as you could to get all the knots and tangles out

Giyuu. Fucking. Melted.

He loved feeling your fingers comb through hair and scratch at his scalp. It was honestly lulling him to sleep

You noticed how calm he got and his muscles relaxing so you decided to just always play with his hair

He figured that since he loved the feeling so much that maybe you would too, so he occasionally plays with your hair and just runs his fingers through it, enjoying the soft feeling of your hair against him

If you guys are cuddling and he’s the big spoon, you’ll be buried in his chest and he’ll just hug you tight around him and just brush through your hair

You play with his hair often and it actually became a daily occurrence where you’d just comb his hair for him. You’d often just mess with it and put it in funny hairstyles like pigtails or five braids scattered randomly

Playing with his hair also helps calm him down and puts him to rest so if he had a really stressful day or comes back from a mission where he couldn’t save someone, you’d comb through his hair all night to help keep him soothed and sleep easier

nsfw!

Q - Quiver

Giyuu was honestly super surprised, he didn’t know something like that could happen but fuck did he enjoy it. It made Giyuu feel super good

“Damn, I made you feel that good, huh? I’m just going to have to do that to you every time now.”

And he stays true to his words. He was quick to pick up on what made you feel super good and would keep it locked in his memory and make sure to do that to you each time

He’d tease you with it and do it nice and slow and gradually build up speed to bring you back to a quivering climax

He loves seeing you really enjoying sex so the fact that he was able to make you quiver multiple times has him over the moon

Especially since I see him as a “I wanna see your cumming face” kind of guy, he really fucking loves it

S - Sexy Clothing

Giyuu would just turn bright red immediately

“Y-Y/N... you’re um... *ahem* dressed um... won-wonderfully, I-“

You can see how excited he is to see you dressed up in such seductive clothing, stretched out on the bed in such an inviting way. He’s so awestruck she can’t move. You had to call him over to break him out of his trance

He quick to throw off his sword and haori and jump into bed, quickly putting his lips anywhere on you

His hands roamed all over your body, stroking every curve and palming at the sensual clothing

He tried to keep it on your body as he’s fucking you because he loved the way it looked on you so much but some where along the way it all ended up on the floor

V - Vulnerable

Giyuu usually prefers loving and intimate sex so I can see him being vulnerable a lot during sex

He comes back from a long mission after not seeing you for days and all he wants to do is cuddle fuck you

He holds you super close to him the entire time and is very slow and soft with his trusts, whispering into your ear about his much he’s missed you and how much he loves you

He usually does missionary during sex like this so it’s easier for him to hug you close to his body, hold your hand and kiss you the entire time

These vulnerable sex times with Giyuu also tend to last a while since he’s going slow and just enjoying every second of it, taking in your scent, touch and sounds after missing it for so long

“I’ve really missed you, Y/N. I’m glad I was able to come back home to you.” He’d whisper into your ear between moans and whimpers

“I love you” “You feel really good, Y/N, I’ve missed this feeling” “You skin feels so soft and you smell so good, I never want to go a mission again if it means I’ll miss out on this.” “Your starting to feel tighter, are you going to cum?” “Just hold on a little longer so can come together”

Giyuu’s thrusts become a little faster and harder to bring you both to your climax. He buries himself deep inside you as he cums and moans close to your ear, inaudibly rambling on how good you feel, how much he loves you, and how he never wants to leave you

#demon slayer fanfic #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #giyuu x reader #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #giyuu tomioka headcanons #tomioka giyuu x reader #tomioka x reader #tomioka x you #tomioka x y/n #giyuu x y/n #giyuu smut

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patchworkpuzzle · 3 years

Photo

authors note: this is my submission to Emme’s Mental Health Awareness Collab and like most submissions to this collab this came from a very personal place for me, how I struggle with the aspects within it though nothing graphic or severe. I know that @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten created a wonderful mental health resource list which I encourage you all to take a look.

wordcount: 1.9k

paring: Sero x F!Reader (there is only two mentions of female pronouns, as its from a deep place in my heart but I did try to keep it a gender nutral as I could)

warnings: self doubt, self deprecation. Though it is pretty tame, and has fluff, again please be careful when reading this.

Also, just a reminder to please not interact with my blog if you are under 18 years oh age.

You didn’t know why.

You didn’t know why Sero Hanta, the hero Cellophane, would ever be interested in you. Someone who wasn’t a hero, or anyone of real importance. You just worked a normal office job at the Hero Agency he also worked out, that’s how you met after all.

You weren’t an up and coming fresh faced new hero or side kick, you were just someone who filed paperwork and arranged meetings. The sidekick, to the sidekick, of the sidekicks, as it were. Nothing extraordinary about you, in fact you found yourself as nothing but ordinary.

Extraordinarily average, as you like to put it.

And yet, he still saw something.

It was hard to notice at first, a top hero just stopping by to ask you to file something for him to then ask if you were new. But then it got more noticeable, with them continuing to stop by to ask questions and have you file things that weren’t even in your department, trying to find any excuse to see you. To finally just coming out with the truth and asking you on a date.

To say you were shocked when he asked was an understatement. You could feel your face get so red as you stuttered out a jumble of words that ended up meaning yes. Hiding your face in your hands when he left with a smile and a wink, telling you he’ll ‘pick you up at eight.’

The date was almost too awkward, having you try and come up with interesting facts and stories about yourself and your life, trying to compete with a Pro Hero and all the accomplishments he had. But apparently it wasn’t so awful, cause the next Monday at work he stopped by your desk with some flowers and another proposed date.

Date after date you went with him. After a few months he wanted to become official, proclaiming not long after you agreed on a live television interview that he was a ‘happily taken man now’. Though it filled you heart with warmth being so doted on, it made you feel guilty. Made you think that these kinds of affections should be placed on someone more worthy.

Someone who had a more outgoing personality, who didn’t get shy and flustered easily. Or have a short fuse in their social battery, making them want to go home earlier than he may want to. Someone that could match up with him and keep up, not slow him down.

Someone who was more physically attractive, who didn’t look in the mirror and see barely there muscles that were always covered in some way. And who could turn the heads of people when walking by as easily as he could. Someone who could be just as beautiful as the Pro Hero looked all the time, with his perfect smile and dazzling eyes, who could take their shirt off without having to worry if their partner would still find them attractive.

Someone who could do all sorts of amazing things, all sorts of cool hobbies and talents to share and teach. Not being the boring person who started and stopped things all the time, who had no real interests in something for long; whose most notable skill was knowing a bunch of useless facts. Good for a trivia night, but not exactly a good comparison to that of your boyfriend. A man who was filled with many abilities and talents he garnered over the years; both physical and crafty.

He seemed to be able to do so much, and you paled in comparison ever single time.

Sero Hanta didn’t know what he did to deserve you.

He was never the strongest person, or the smartest, or had the coolest and flashiest quirk. To him, he was nothing more than just your average guy trying to become a hero and help people. The underdog constantly punching up, and somehow managed to break through.

He was a decent hero; he would never say otherwise. He always worked so hard and tirelessly to help people, sacrificing so much to get the job done. From sleepless nights, to his body breaking, and his mind almost following suit at times, that he felt he more than deserved the spot he got on the hero rankings.

But at times he couldn’t help but compare himself to his friends. People who more than deserved their spots and fame but always proving that he was lacking in some way or form, though it was always unintentionally. They always celebrated his success and praised him for his hard work, but Sero always felt less than when standing next to his friends.

They were always able to get the press to notice their hard work, even if Sero did just as much. Always able to get fans to interact with them, having them compliment them constantly over this, that, and the other while Sero found that a dedicated Cellophane fan was few and far between. And when they did come up to him, they easily turned their attentions to his friends once they showed up.

He never minded. He did this job because he wanted to help people, and he was good at it. There was nothing more he could ask for. But he couldn’t help but admit he got a little envious at times, or that his smile tended to be forced for the cameras.

He just wanted to be seen.

And then he met you. A cute little office worker whose eyes sparkled so brightly as they excitedly exclaimed that they were so happy to meet him, and that they’ll do there best to make sure everything was done right for him; before blushing and apologizing. It made Sero’s heart skip a beat, to be seen the way you saw him then.

It was probably why he kept coming back to your desk and asking you favours and questions. He just wanted to see your eyes light up when you saw him, to be seen as someone as amazing as the other top heroes around him. And he couldn’t lie that he found you beautiful, in that soft gentle way that would make him want to gaze at your face to see all the expressions it could make.

You were magnetic to him, in the delicate sense. You didn’t stand out in the way plenty of others around him would, you almost blended into the crowd. Almost. But you held this kind and sweet aura around you, one that always felt safe and reassuring, and he couldn’t help but be pulled tighter and tighter into it.

Finally, he found the courage to ask you on a date. Overcome with joy when you said yes but trying to play if off cool to not embarrass himself. And the date was wonderful, he loved learning all the little things that made you who you are.

He couldn’t help but ask for another, and another, and another, you were an addiction to him, and he couldn’t get enough. He thought you were so lovely in every single way. He wanted to keep you for himself, for as long as time would allow him.

He just wished he was everything you thought he was.

But Sero Hanta knew he wasn’t. He wasn’t as strong, or capable, or talented, or all the other amazing things you claimed he was. Just an average man trying his best to pull an incredible weight, trying not to be overlooked, to try and be seen.

And you were just a woman, working a thankless 9 to 5 job, trying to keep up with the expectations of those around you. Pulling yourself in so many directions to try and please everyone. Never seeing yourself in the light you should, never realizing all the wonderful things you were.

And yet, without fail, you both would always choose the other.

Like puzzle pieces you fit.

Despite the flaws, the cracks, and the broken pieces you both saw in yourself, the other would see something more. They would see a mosaic, something beautiful and worth wanting to be apart of.

And despite the troubles that popped up, the demons that would tell lies of not being enough, the self doubt of years of not being seen and treated as kindly as one hoped and dreamed for, it all amounted to nothing more than dust that would float away in the wind when you looked at him and he at you.

You both weren’t fixed. Love was something that was strong but fickle if not properly tended, and it could not fix years of trauma and disbelief. But it helped. And the little reminders it gave helped garner a beautiful bud that would someday bloom stunning and bright.

There just needed to be reminders.

And reassurance.

And patience.

You would always tell him, whenever you could, that he was your favourite hero. That his quirk was something to admire, despite the things he and other might say. How all his training made him so strong whenever he would lift something you couldn’t, or open something small like a jar. That whenever he told you he knew some fact you brought up that he was smarter than he gave himself credit for. That all the little things he did, like take you in his arms to gently sway you both whenever he wanted, made you feel so warm and had your heart fill with a soft joy and made you feel wanted; like you had always hoped to be.

And he would always tell you how he loved spending nights curled up with you doing nothing, as he preferred doing that than going out all the time. How soft your body was, how wonderful it was to hold; and how he always felt like a nervous teenager again when he was intimate with you, like it was his first time all over again. He loved that you knew all sorts of little facts, no topic or subject free from your endless knowledge; and how he loved and felt proud calling you ‘his girl’ whenever a trivia game night with friends was won by you, yet again. And most importantly, he loved your gentleness. He loved how you would look at him, and only him, with such love in your eyes it made him feel like the most important man in the world; finally, being seen like he always wanted to be.

Though it wasn’t perfect. There were times where you would hide away from him, cry yourself to sleep some nights when your self doubt got too strong and the demons in your head telling you that you weren’t good enough. And times where he would distance himself from you, to not want to burden your further with his problems, and not wanting to hold you back in any capacity in case someone better than him came along.

But it was enough.

The good days always outnumbered the bad. And when the bad days came it just proved to the other how deeply you cared for the other’s happiness. How much you both truly loved the other, flaws and all.

At the end of the day, you would always choose him, every single time.

And Sero Hanta would always choose you.

#sero x you #sero x reader #sero x y/n #sero hanta x reader #sero hanta fanfic #sero hanta comfort #sero comfort #mental health awareness month #tw: self deprecation #tw: self doubt

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matildashoney · 3 years

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Concept: you and Harry are exes and have to attend a wedding together (my song inspo is I Almost Do, but ofc you can take it anywhere you want!!)

Harry knew they would see each other again. It was inevitable, wasn't it?

Harry knew from the moment they decided to part ways that dreaded night that he would see her again, that this wouldn't be the end. He assumed that they would keep in contact, that she would reach out to him to let her know of the promotion that she received at her company, or maybe to congratulate him on the new single.

Harry did reach out, sort of, through their mutual friend, the one that’s getting married, the wedding that they’ll both be in attendance of. They kind of have to be, as part of the bridal party. Harry asked how she was doing over brunch, and their mutual friend – Molly is her name – said that she was doing well. This made Harry quiet, unsure of where to go. It’s not that he was expecting her to be doing poorly, he didn’t want that for her, especially not because he was still in love with her, but there was a part of him that was hoping she was even the tiniest bit as miserable as he was. That’s the selfish part of him, the one part she always complained about. That’s the reason they split, in the end. Harry was a bit selfish, is a bit selfish, and she wasn’t willing to give up her life for the touring and the music and the craziness that surrounded him.

YN’s whole life, all she wanted was to be an engineer.

YN used to tell her mother and father, “I want to build bridges and skyscrapers and all the things!” and when she was old enough to go to school and pursue her passions, that’s exactly what she was doing. Little did she know that she would start building stages for some of the biggest recording acts known to the music industry. Her career took her across the world, from Sydney to Tokyo to London, and she fell in love with what she was doing, even if she started at it by mistake. Her best friends were met through the industry, people that she fell in love with, people she grew to care for deeply and never wished to be parted from in her life.

Harry Styles is one of those people.

Immediately, Harry and YN hit it off, talking about their experiences in the music industry, the concerts they’ve seen, the stages they’ve loved and hated. They bonded over their love for artists and the way that music is unique to everyone, and how everyone’s muse is a little bit different. YN wasn’t nosey or prying into his personal life, and to be honest, she couldn’t care less. Harry was simply Harry in those moments in the office, not Harry Styles, the pop sensation. That’s how she saw him. That’s how she always saw him, even at the end of everything.

YN knew what she wanted and demanded it gets done. Harry liked that. He made that much very clear. She was pretty much expecting it when Harry asked her out for the first time. Harry asked her on their first date the night she visited the O2 Arena for their first construction of the stage, her first time seeing it live and in action. Harry had asked her on a date a bit before he was about to go on stage when he was dressed and ready and his band was making their way and she was mingling with other techs. It was quick, caught her off guard if she was honest. “Would you get drinks with me after the show?”

And before YN could properly understand what was happening in her life, she and Harry were exchanging keys to each other’s houses and staying the night and moving in clothing and going to weddings together. Their friends called it a whirlwind romance, and many of them admittedly said it was something that couldn’t see lasting past a few months – great friends they had back then – but if she was being honest with herself, which often she was, she loved every minute of it. YN loved Harry, more than she loved anyone before him, and she wanted to spend her life loving him and loving her career.

YN enjoyed going to the studio and hearing him record the songs that would never get heard past her ears. Harry loved watching her sketch out new stage plans for artists that he adored. They loved going to concerts together, seeing her work portrayed to thousands and thousands. Mutually, they respected each other’s crafts and their dedication, and it was something that bonded them more than it separated them.

Until the dreaded tour conversation came about.

Harry wanted her to come with him, to take a year remotely and travel the world with him, with her significant other, her partner. YN wanted Harry to understand that her career came first, just like his. That he didn’t like. In Harry’s eyes, YN came first, that he would’ve dropped everything for her and she wouldn’t do the same. Harry wouldn’t listen after that, and it led to a dreaded conversation in her kitchen with their keys on the table and two glasses of wine, saying that maybe in another life this was meant to be.

Eight months later, Harry is trying to prepare himself for what it’ll be like to see her again. Harry’s never stopped loving her. Hell, he’s written an entire album of songs that no one will ever hear because they’re lyrics he only wants her to hear. He nearly sent it to her, last month, all the recordings, simply to see if she would have something to say.

Always an almost. That’s how everything has been with YN, lately. Almost called. Almost sent the recordings. Almost reached out. Harry can never do the damn thing. He can never just say it. It’s always on the tip of his tongue, one step away. Harry’s always just one step away from her.

He can see her from across the room. It’s easy to notice her. YN is so fucking beautiful. He’s always said that, that her beauty is unlike anything he’s ever seen before. He notices her before he’s even made his way to the room where all the groomsmen are getting ready. Her voice travels through the tiny hallway in the hotel and Harry stops dead in his tracks, aching at the sound. He hasn’t heard her voice in so long. Way too long. He doesn’t want to disturb her, to take her away from her friends that she’s talking to, but more than anything he wants to steal her away and talk, just talk about anything, to simply hear her voice.

YN sees Harry almost as easily as he sees her – he certainly spotted her first – and walks right to him with her signature smile printed on her lips, leaving her friends behind and waving them off when they mention waiting for her. He swallows thickly and nearly extends his arm to shake her hand – now what would she have done with that – but she is too quick for him, always has been, and hugs him tightly, whispering, “Hey, H.” Harry nearly melts at the name. “It’s good to see you.”

Hugging feels intimate in the quiet hallway, and Harry stops himself a few times from breathing her in, the scent of her perfume that he knows too well bringing back memories that existed only in the furthest depths of his memory. He smiles warmly when she loosens her grip and steps away, saying something about seeing him at the aisle and saving a dance for her, something along those lines. He was too in awe of her to be paying all that much attention, in all honesty.

Harry watched as she walked away, and silently beat himself up for not saying more.

Harry’s hand was shaking against his side when YN walked towards him at the base of the aisle. He silently told his brain to ‘quit fucking around’ but it didn’t do all that much. She slinked her arm through his and smiled, nodding towards where the other bridesmaids were already walking and waiting for them. He didn’t notice that he was keeping them behind.

Green eyes are on her the entire ceremony, and she surely notices. Everyone does. Nearly to the point where one of the groomsmen nudge his arm and make him stare at the bride for even a nanosecond. Harry shrugs it off, saying that it’s nothing and that’s he’s fine, but everyone knows that he’s swimming with regret and unanswered questions.

He is fine. Harry’s fine. He’s fine until YN walks over and says, “I think you owe me a dance.”

Harry smiles his signature smile and stands, leaving his whiskey on the table and scooting his chair against the hardwood floor, taking her hand that’s stretched out for him and bravely kissing her knuckles. YN smiles, and he knows that wherever this is going, it’s nowhere near what the worst-case scenario he created in his head might have been.

“God, I love this song,” she says as soon as they make their way to the dance floor. “I’m working on their stage, right now. They have a tour coming up, this year.”

Harry circles his arms around her waist, exactly like he used to, and brings her into his chest, their faces mere inches from each other. Her hands lay on his shoulders, inching towards his neck, and the way their eyes are staring into each other’s make him know that there is still something there, even in the slightest capacity. “Busy bee, as always.”

“Have to do something with my time,” she giggles, shrugging her shoulders and licking her lips. Harry remembers that she does this when she’s nervous, and for the first time that night, it feels like his nerves begin to ease. “How are you? How’s everything?”

“Eh, well, I’m okay, I guess,” Harry says, and he believes that to be true. He is okay. He knows better than to lie to her, too. YN has a radar for bullshit. “I wrote two albums, this year.”

“Two?” YN blinks, waiting for confirmation. When Harry doesn’t say anything in return, she continues, “That’s amazing, H. I’m really proud of you.”

Harry doesn’t know how to react to that sentiment, because, although it feels painfully good to hear, it is still painful, nonetheless. “That means a lot coming from you.”

“It’s been a while since we talked,” she says softly, sliding her arms further around his shoulders and clasping her hands together behind his neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner. I, there were things I wanted to tell you, and I wanted to share with you, but I just couldn’t. Things felt too raw. I wanted to talk, but every time I would go to dial your number, it was like, a mental block.”

Harry nods sadly, almost like he’s agreeing with her. “I know. I almost called, I almost texted. Good amount of almost things. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“H, we said we’d stay friends.”

“Am I not your friend, YN?” Harry chuckles, but she knows that there is pain behind it, an aching question that is dying to be answered unless the answer is something neither of them wants to admit. “Honestly, I just thought you’d moved on or hated me. I resigned to either of those reasons. I was okay with either, as long as you’re happy. That’s all I wanted to know.”

“Harry,” she says, shaking her head adamantly and meeting his glassy stare, “that’s the last thing from the truth.”

Harry doesn’t say anything for a minute or two, maybe more, and YN is beginning to wonder if this conversation was a mistake. His silence is deafening and there’s a moment where she thinks she’ll slip out of his grasp, only to feel his palms widen on her back and one hand slip away to take her hand and spin her around. Harry smiles softly and listens to her laugh, and soaks in the sound, very unaware of where the conversation will go afterwards.

Music still plays behind them, and couples come and go from the dance floor. Harry and YN mind their business, dancing quietly and leaning into each other and soaking at the moment that feels like it could last a lifetime. His hand is holding hers, his other splayed across her lower back, and her cheek is resting on his shoulder when he whispers, “I still love you.”

Her hair falls down her back and across her face when she turns her head on his shoulder, and Harry reaches forward with their interlocked hands and brushes it away from her cheek. His expression is neutral, calm, and she can barely tell if she was meant to hear the confession or not. “Harry.”

“I still love you.”

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shoichee · 3 years

Note

part 4: hcs dedicated to reactions: seirin (their precious lil manager going out with that scissor-wielding emperor bastard!?) and rakuzan (their captain was in love with that girl who cussed at him near the vending machine?!? ITS SO FUNNY) ++ angst where akashi gets jealous of readers teammates (IZUKI kuroko kagami furi... but mostly izuki bc point guards with eye powers) because he still feels bad about what happened and thinks he doesnt deserve her -- teiko anon

OUR LEGENDARY TEIKO ANON HAS SPOKEN OF AN EPILOGUE, alright y’all the finale FINALE 🧘🏻‍♀️ OKAY, i don’t think I hammered too hard on the angst, but enjoy the fluff and subtle crack😌

OOH, looks like another anon wants a pt. 4! :0 Since it is primarily the Teiko anon’s request, I will be prioritizing the first request, but I will combine a few aspects of this request to make a fuller headcanon epilogue! Hope everyone enjoys this! part 1 here // part 2 here // part 3 here

Akashi x Reader

Part 4: Epilogue

[Teiko!manager Headcanons]

in the aftermath of the Winter Cup, your relationship with Akashi has certainly gotten much better, and dare you say, more intimate and romantic; though you were still healing a bit from the emotional scars from Teiko, they seemed to be going away faster than you realized, especially when everyone gathers for Kuroko’s birthday party

you were with Seirin, helping with the decorations and setting up the plates before Kuroko comes in the evening, but what no one expected was for him to bring in the GoMs

YOU’RE SHOOK AND YOU’RE BASHFUL SEEING AKASHI IN HIS WINTER ATTIRE, you’re getting MAD butterflies, but no one seems to notice because everyone’s attention is on the GoMs and Kuroko

of course Akashi was scanning the room for you first, and you immediately look away from his affectionate stare because you were still not used to the old Akashi, let alone his sweeter side for only you

Izuki notices how quiet you got and nudged your ribs with his elbow before telling a stupid pun… the thing is, you were one of the few people who genuinely found his jokes funny LOL

Akashi widens his eyes, staring at you laughing so unabashedly, and he feels really, really bad that he never got that level of a reaction from you whenever you were with him even despite knowing you for longer

now as the party goes on, Akashi is seeing your dynamics with Seirin for the first time and he’s just really grateful that you found an amazing support group during your low times; he’s not particularly someone to get jealous, but he’s getting a BAD case of FOMO because he’s thinking of all the “what-if’s” and all the times he could’ve made you happy and stress-free

“Akashi-kun?”

“Ah… yes?” Akashi snaps out of his daze to see a mild smirk coming from Kuroko on his right side, and Kuroko was about to ask a question about who he was looking at before a shout of “Watch out!” and a ceramic plate came FLYING across the table to hit the Rakuzan captain square on his face

CUE SCREAMS OF PANIC AS MOMOI PUNCHES AOMINE ON THE HEAD AND RIKO JUMPS TO STRANGLE KAGAMI, AND YOU LITERALLY ZOOMED TO HIS SIDE TO CHECK ON ANY INJURIES

see, he could’ve easily dodged it, and he supposed that it’s his fault for not paying attention and dodging on time

thankfully, the plate didn’t break because Kuroko caught the plate before it reached the floor and placed it back on the table

Akashi still has a bruise or two on his face though… and ngl, everyone gulped when they saw him checking out the injuries with a handheld mirror, ready to get their ankles broken

you were so worried over his safety, he finds it really endearing… but he wants to elicit an expression other than looks of worry or tears or anger (flashback to when you cussed him out)

“Wait, but (y/n)...” Koganei said. “Since when were you so close to Akashi that you didn’t hesitate to touch his face?”

a few moments of silence for everyone to register his words

“EHHHH?????!!!!”

everyone is throwing QUESTION after QUESTION at the two of you, and Akashi just has a neutral face with his mouth parted while you were so embarrassed LMAO

Kise being a real best friend, tells them:

“Alright, alright, everyone! Let’s not forget about the birthday boy! Kurokocchi should be the center of our attention today!”

“Kise, that’s…”

“Anywho! Let’s light up the cake and find those party poppers…”

after the party though, when you all return to school, Seirin was READY to jump on you for interrogation, and you do reluctantly tell them that you and Akashi are a tentative couple

Riko: “SERIOUSLY? I mean… that’s kinda cute though…”

Hyuuga: “I mean… yeah, as long as you’re happy, it’s none of my business.”

Teppei: “I hope he treats you well, (y/n)-san.” and of course he gives you his signature head pats

Furihata, Tsuchida, Kawahara: “??????????????????? But why?”

Koganei: “Huh, guess that explains a lot.”

Kagami: “???????????? pt. 2 LMAO” and also “What do you even see in him?” in genuine curiosity

Izuki: “ I guess you two dove into this relationship without hesitation, eh? Get it, get it? Because doves are a symbol of lo—”

“Izuki, shut the fuck up.”

“It means that you love (Ai)kashi—” [Ai means love]

“IZUKI.”

Kuroko simply pretends that this is the first time he’s heard of you dating Akashi, and he gives you his heartfelt congratulations, and as long as Kuroko approves of it, you feel like you’re on the right track (he’s such a good judge of character!)

you and Akashi actually live VERY far apart, considering that your schools are equally just as far in distance, but that being said, for our rich boy Akashi, distance isn’t much of a problem when he can easily find ways to come visit any time

he can also pay for your transportation to visit Rakuzan if you ever felt like visiting him too (although, you insist to pay for your own things, but he’s not having it because he says it’s a treat for him to see you too)

whenever Akashi stops by the Seirin campus to visit, he’s just kind of awkward standing there like the prince that he is, waiting for the perfect opportunity to walk in, but every time, he’d ALWAYS notice how you’re so happy being with everyone here, especially with Izuki, and his guilt just comes back full force again

he wonders if this was right of him to date you when there’s so much people who can easily do a better job in getting you to smile and be completely yourself, especially since he’s been the source of your anguish for all these months (maybe even a year or two if he was counting the duration of your entire crush on him that you assumed to be unrequited)

“Seijurō!” your voice rang out, beckoning him to walk towards you and the group

all of the Seirin teammates are so wary of him, and are all hyper aware of his movements LOL, and Kuroko is just like “hi, you’re back” very casually

Kagami uses this as a chance to challenge a one-on-one on Akashi

Kagami gets destroyed in a few minutes flat

the whole time you’re just watching Akashi with heart eyes, unbeknownst to him while he was focused on Kagami

after the interrogation and Akashi passing the “first stage” of acceptance, you and him find time to have a cute date at a local shopping district to walk around and sightsee

Akashi finds it fun, he really did, but there’s a part of him that thinks you’d have more fun with people who know you better… a.k.a. Izuki, or legit any other Seirin member

he’s visibly distracted by his own thoughts, and you wave a hand to his face, asking if this was too boring for him

“No, no, of course I’m enjoying this with you,” he muses, putting a gentle kiss to your temple. “Shall we get moving?”

“Something’s bothering you isn’t it.”

“No,” he chuckles, giving a gentle smile, but you only frown at him… once again he sees that you weren’t smiling at him

“I’m serious Sei, I want to get to know the real you,” you softly chastise, pinching his cheek. “So I also want you to speak your mind around me.”

“Oh ho… I see that your boldness is still very present here,” he says in referring to your touch.

“Oh my god, can you drop it already? That’s so embarrassing—I cussed you out one time… hey don’t change the subject!”

“Hmm…” he hums for a bit before he comes clean. “I’m afraid that I might not be the right person to be worthy by your side after hurting you for so long.”

“... What makes you think that?” He hesitates, for the first time, not being so sure of himself and his emotions; he immediately thinks of Izuki and your good chemistry with him but dismisses the thought

“... I just do not think I’m capable enough to make you happy.”

“But you are. I’m very giddy to be with you right now.”

“Even happier than when you are with… your teammates?”

“Huh?”

“I apologize,” he hurriedly says. “They are your friends. I was out of line to question them.”

“No, no, it’s okay. Talk it out to me.” He’s uncharacteristically quiet as you both continue to walk and browse through the shops, and you carefully watch Akashi while he’s examining a few souvenirs on the display, patient for him to continue talking

“... the point guard.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Seirin’s point guard.”

“Izuki-kun? What about him?”

“While I’m aware that you only spend your time with him as a good friend… I want to spend just as much of a koala-ty time with you whenever we have the chance.”

he... says this with the straightest face, and you’re utterly confused before you saw some animal plushies on the store window, and the the koala plush, and then the cogs started turning in your head

“... Did you just say a pun?”

“Was it not sufficient?”

a few moments of silence pass and Akashi thinks he did something wrong because he wanted to make you smile (HELP poor captain), before you break into hysterics

between your fits of broken laughs and wheezes, you managed to ask if he was jealous of Izuki, to which he wholeheartedly kept denying until you wouldn’t stop being persistent

you reassure him over and over that he doesn’t need to act like Izuki to make you happy, but it was a pleasant surprise to see Akashi crack a “joke” nonetheless

he’s a bit new to the concept of dating and is still quite unsure of how to navigate this PLEASE GIVE HIM TIME

the date that day was a success (some of the Seirin teammates TOTALLY weren’t spying on you mid-date or anything…)

while Seirin is okay with you dating, visiting Rakuzan ALONE with the scary-ass captain and his “CROONIES” (hint: the rest of the team LMAOO) IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY

RIKO AND HYUUGA are just like:

“What’s wrong with him coming here to visit you? Why do you gotta do the effort to visit him?”

“Uh… because I want to…”

“Yes, but who would you call to help over if something wrong happens? You’d be too far!”

“Uh, Akashi can help me if something happens.”

“With what, his scissors?” Kagami gives a deadpan look, and everyone turns to look at him in utter confusion LMAOOO like what does this redhead mean by SCISSORS???

Kuroko immediately jabs Kagami’s sides to silence him and smoothly changes the conversation before anyone asks any more questions about the “scissors” and potentially make them more reluctant to let you go

oh Kuroko, being the mediator and negotiator as always, trying to set some safety protocols for you to follow before everyone finally agrees to let you go see the infamous team alone

you know, Teppei is honestly just like, “Just go! Don’t worry about our (y/n) too much!”

Furihata is so concerned for your safety for valid reasons, but you reassure him that you won’t “die from the trip,” and no, this wouldn’t “be the last time” they’d see you before you leave

so when you stopped by Rakuzan’s gym after school after looking at the online maps, Hayama lets out a screech of terror before he starts pointing at you and calling you the “crazy ass chick” who tried to have a first-row seat ticket to death LOL

Hayama’s commotion brought everyone else’s attention to you, and Akashi was very surprised to see you all the way here

but he’s just standing at the back to watch how his teammates are reacting to you

Reo is the guy who would welcome you very warmly and would introduce you to the other team members who aren’t the starters, and he would actually ask if you were okay from last time

Nebuya is very laid back and throws a few muscle jokes much to Reo’s dismay, and he makes a comment about not you possibly not eating enough because at the time, he saw you almost tripping up your feet after you cussed out Akashi… he offers you his extra bowls if you ever feel hungry VERY SWEET GUY

Mayuzumi thinks you have balls, like who the fuck would come out alive after cussing out his captain but then COME BACK to said school of the captain… like why would you willingly walk back into the lion’s den??? so he thinks you’re dumb, but he has a shred of respect for you

Akashi is so amused at the spectacle and finally walks over to you after you noticed him

and he gives you an embrace and a chaste forehead kiss, and the entire gym goes silent

“Sei! I wanted to drop by as a surprise! Did you expect me?”

“Hm, I may have expected you to come sooner or later, but definitely not this quickly. Were transportation fees too much of a hassle?”

“Nope! I got everything covered! Do you want me to give you any chiropractic massages if you and your teammates need it?”

“You don’t need to do that, (y/n). You came here as a guest, not as a manager.”

“But…”

“Shhh, as soon as practice is done, I’ll take you anywhere you want in Kyotō. How does that sound?”

“Er… captain?” Reo holds up a hesitant finger to interrupt the two of you, while everyone else looks horrified at the sight of their captain looking serene

“Get a room, will you?” Mayuzumi only tuts in irritation while turning away to grab a nearby water bottle to down in one go

Nebuya merely stares in astonishment at the two of you, and his mind is thinking how the hell did you reel in this guy?

nah man, Hayama is GONE at this point: his brain has stopped functioning a while ago, and he’s standing there as stiff as a statue, scratching his head like a lost monkey // like he’s thinking how the fuck did this shit add up?? in his mind, he’s taking 2 plus 2 but it somehow ends up 94… that’s how he’s processing what he’s witnessing

the rest of the benchers and lower-string players are confused? who ARE you anyways?? Akashi?? dating??? that’s Rakuzan gossip of the century

TLDR; your first trip to Rakuzan may be awkward because the two of you stick out like a sore thumb, but eventually after multiple trips, the team slowly begins to consider you as one of their own

as per Akashi’s “suggestion” (hint: not a suggestion, but a strong recommendation), you were to be retreated with respect and kindness

why? Because Akashi never wants a repeat of the situation at Teiko ever again :(

as long as he is captain, and as long as he has the power and authority, he will do everything he can to make you happy and comfortable

don’t worry though, the Rakuzan starters are more than willing to punt any kid who talks shit about you

surprisingly, once Hayama comes around and accepts the fact that you were dating the captain, he’d be the most adamant and vocal protector, and he’s the one who shares the “inside tips and tricks” about the captain EEEE it’s so wholesome !!

the Rakuzan team is your certified bodyguard group, no debate

Reo might be the nosy mom who asks about who confessed first and the like…

the END, and I DO MEAN THE END THIS TIME

#knb #kuroko no basket #knb x reader #akashi seijuro #knb headcanons #akashi x reader #akashi seijuro x reader #teiko #knb teiko #teiko middle school #THE END FOR REAL

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

DATING A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Jay Park

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Jay is incredibly affectionate around you; he loves to have you nice and close to him and be able to wrap his arms around you. He feels incredibly supported when he’s able to hold out and touch you and know that you’re beside him.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

He’s not shy of confidence, so when you caught his eye in a local coffee shop, he was more than happy to go over and say hello. You were surprised for a few moments by his sudden appearance in front of you, but as he began to introduce himself, you couldn’t help but tell him all about yourself too, allowing him to get to know you.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

After a few dates together, Jay knew that he wanted to make things official with you. He made sure to pull out all of the stops to try and impress you, making sure that you had the best table at the restaurant that he planned to take you too. His confession was very honest, you could tell that he was talking from the heart, he wanted you to know exactly how he felt and exactly where he could see his future going with you.

D ⇴ DATES

Jay loves to spoil you; he loves to treat you nicely and take you to fancy places. He might not appear like someone who will sit down to a meal, but if it’s what you want, he’s more than happy to get dressed up and take you somewhere nice. He loves to show off to you, before dates, he’ll often appear at your front door with a gift, usually a bouquet of flowers, to set the tone of the evening nicely. He loves to have dates at the studio too when he’s working late so he can dedicate some time to you in his busy schedule.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

There had been a few brief dates and very short relationships in Jay’s life, but nothing ever felt as serious as things did with you. For the first time, he really felt as if he wanted to settle down with you and really begin to think about the future. He was nervous to begin with about the amount of time he could spend with you and if you’d understand his career, but over time, things naturally began to work themselves out. It surprised him sometimes how well your relationship worked, but one thing was for sure, he never took it for granted.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

The two of you definitely had a few little arguments every now and then, at times Jay was quite guilty of being stubborn and knowing what he wanted without listening to anyone else. If the two of you argued, he’d tend to go to the studio for a while rather than figuring things out straight away and would often come back with a gift in hand to try and apologise to you. He knows at times he can be stubborn, and he knows that it’s not fair on you so he always makes sure to accept that he can be at fault, as much as he’d like to suggest otherwise. He’s very good at sorting things out between the two of you and not letting things drag out.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

With his family split around the world, it was difficult for you to really get to know Jay’s family. You relied heavily on calls, Jay loved to get you over whenever he spoke to a member of his family so he could introduce you or tell them all about the things that the two of you had been doing together as a couple.

H ⇴ HOME

He was quite keen to move you into his house after just a couple of months as he loved having you around. At times, his house was very quiet, and he was desperate to have someone around who he could bounce ideas off of or greet when he came home from work. And you just so happened to be the perfect solution to that.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Jay was the first one of the two of you to say, ‘I love you,’ when he came home from work one day to see that you’d waited up for him with a meal warmed in the oven. It was only a small gesture from you, but after the day that Jay had had at work, you had no idea how much he needed it and how grateful he was for you.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

There aren’t too many times when Jay feels jealous, he’s confident in himself and you, he knows that not many guys would be able to compare to him. He loves to see you talking to people and getting to know his friends and staff at the label, so he doesn’t tend to get jealous. If he does get jealous, he’ll silently make his way into conversation, he’ll tend to show off his muscles a little more and begin to throw his weight around you to make it clear to everyone that you are his and no one else can have a look.

K ⇴ KIDS

Before meeting you, Jay hadn’t thought too much about children as he was so dedicated to his work. However, as your relationship began to progress, he definitely found himself thinking about it a little more. He was nervous more than anything about how he’d fit a family into his life, but after many late-night talks with you about the future, he began to realise that maybe it was something that the two of you could solve together.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Jay loved to make you laugh more than anything else in the world, it was exactly the sound he needed to hear at the end of a long day. He loved to come home and wrap his arms around you and tickle your sides until he was able to hear your giggle around the house. It was natural as well for him to just find himself laughing around you, at times you could just be doing nothing, but just the sight of you brought a smile to his face. Not many people had seen this sort of side to Jay before, but they loved seeing just how happy he was with you.

M ⇴ MISSING

Homesickness wasn’t something Jay felt often as he spent so much time away from his family, however, being away from you was a whole new chapter. He didn’t realise quite how much he needed your company until you weren’t there anymore. When he was on the road, he’d often send gifts to your place to make sure that you knew he was thinking of you and missing you. If the chance presented itself too, he’d fly you to wherever he was in the world in a heartbeat, only if it was for a few days. One thing Jay never did was turn down the opportunity to see you, no matter even if it was just for a few minutes or hours.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

He loved to call you ‘love,’ Jay was quite traditional in that sense, he wasn’t one for fancy or over the top nicknames, he much preferred to keep things simple, still knowing that it was enough to put a smile on your face.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Jay was obsessed with your bum, he loved to rest his hands against it or lay against it at night. He couldn’t help but instinctively place his hands there must of the time and pinch you gently.

P ⇴ PDA

Being affectionate in public wasn’t a huge deal for Jay, he was more than happy to hold your hand or keep his arms around you. He wasn’t someone that was too dramatic about affection, he knew he had an image to uphold in that regard, but he still always made sure to keep you nice and safe and make sure that you felt loved around him.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

There were often many times when he’d ask you for help or reassurance. He tried to put on a straight face for everyone at the company, but when he was having a difficult time, he’d always turn to you just to give him that push.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Whenever he went on the road, Jay would leave little notes around the house for you to find. He never really wanted other people to see how romantic he was, but he couldn’t help himself when it was just you and him. You’d often find little pieces of paper in the most random of places that he’d left lying around for you to find. Always making sure to remind you that he loved you and couldn’t wait to see you above anything else.

S ⇴ SEX

It was always a very passionate affair, Jay had a bit of a cocky aura about him when things got intimate, he loved to guide you and be the dominant one. He knew what he wanted from you, and he’d always make sure he got it. With that being said, he always took the best care of you too, he knew exactly what you liked from him, and even if he was a bit of a tease to begin with, you always got what you wanted too in the end.

T ⇴ TEXTS

You’d often get random texts from Jay throughout the day. If you were on his mind, it was just an instinct in him to text you and let you know that you were in his thoughts and that he couldn’t wait to see you at home.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

A lot of people didn’t really know Jay, he’d portrayed himself to the world in the way he wanted to be seen. But around you, he truly felt like he could be himself, a little more like Jaebeom and a little less like Jay.

V ⇴ VACATION

Whenever he had a bit of time, Jay loved to take you on holiday and make sure that you felt special. Your holidays would usually involve going somewhere so that you could meet up with a few members of his family and meet face to face. You would never complain though, you loved meeting all those that were closest to him.

W ⇴ WHINING

He tended to crave your attention quite a lot, and if he didn’t, he’d be sure to kick up a fuss until he had your eyes very firmly on him.

X ⇴ XXXXX

You’d often feel his lips press against you whenever he had his arms around you, it almost became second nature for him. Jay would always make sure to kiss you first thing in the morning and last thing at night in the hope that you’d go to sleep dreaming of him. You loved to wind him up too by swerving his kisses or dodging out of the way, he’d always make sure to grab you a little tighter and refuse to let go until he got what he wanted.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his teammate, the two of you made the perfect partnership together.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

The two of you would always make sure to sleep as close as you could to be honest. Whenever Jay was on tour, he’d fill your wardrobe with shirts and hoodies, so you had plenty of reminders of him to fall asleep with.

---

Masterlist

#jay park #jay park imagine #park jaebeom #park jaebeom imagine #2pm #2pm imagine #2pm jay #2pm jaebeom #jay park scenario #jay park reaction #kpop #kpop imagine #2pm reaction #2pm scenario #park jaebeom scenario #kpop headcanon

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thebadgerclan · 3 years

Text

SFW Alphabet: Lucius Malfoy

Requested by Anonymous

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Lucius is a very affectionate man, always wanting you to know just how loved and adored you are. He’s almost always holding your hand or has an arm around your shoulders, or both. When you’re alone at home, Lucius will hold you in his lap, pressing kisses all over your face.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Lucius has very few people who he considers friends, Severus being among them. But having him as a friend, you’re never alone on anything. Lucius will stand by your side through anything, acting as a confidant and a shoulder to lean on whenever you need it. If you need some sway with the Ministry, he’s more than willing to help you there too.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Lucius adores cuddling: having you in his arms, holding you close, it’s one of his favorite things. When the two of you are alone, he likes to have you in his lap as the two of you read or just spend time together. Lucius is always the big spoon, with you either facing him or with your back to his chest. He also likes it when he’s on his back and you’re tucked into his side or lying on top of him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Lucius does want to settle down with you, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You already own his heart, he knows that there’s no other woman for him, so he sees no reason not to settle down with you. He’s already got the massive manor, but if you want to move somewhere smaller, he’s already signing the deed. Lucius is shit at cleaning, he’s had house elves for his entire life, but he can cook pretty well. He doesn’t do so very often, but sometimes, when he wants to surprise you, he’ll shoo the elves from the kitchen and cook you a romantic dinner (he has to call them back because he has no clue where stuff is, but he does cook the meal)

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) It would break his heart into a million pieces to end things with you, but if he had to, Lucius would put on the icy, cold, unapproachable exterior he shows to everyone but you. “This can’t go on, Y/N,” he says, feeling ill with himself. “We’re done. I’m sorry, it’s over.”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Lucius most certainly wants to marry you, and now that Narcissa’s out of the picture, he can. You’re together for about a year or so before he gets you a ring, and as soon as the little box is in his hand, he’s planning a super romantic evening for you. After a 5 star meal, complete with champagne and dessert, he gets on one knee and asks you to marry him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) He may seem like a cold, cruel man, but around you, he is the gentlest, kindest, warmest man you’ve ever met. Lucius is such a gentle man around you, treating you like a fawn (and fawning [pun not intended] over you as one does a baby deer), always being tender and gentle. Emotionally, he’s such a sweetie, never raising his voice at you. I won’t say he never gets angry with you, because he’s human, but he tries not to.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Lucius likes hugs, though you’re usually the one to initiate them. He prefers to be able to hold you for longer periods of time, and as hugs are usually short lived, they’re not his favorite. Don’t get me wrong, he loves it when you hug him, he loves any form of physical intimacy with you, he just prefers cuddling. That being said, his hugs are strong, he squeezes you tight against him, sometimes knocking the wind out of you. He’ll rest his chin on your head, and kiss you sweetly when he pulls away.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Lucius waits until he’s 100% certain of his feelings for you, more for your benefit than his. He doesn’t want to rush into telling you he loves you if he thinks he might walk back on it (that’s very unlikely, but he wants to be sure). After 5ish months, when you’re away for a week and Lucius feels physical pain in his chest for missing you, that’s when he knows he loves you. The first words out of his mouth when you return are “I love you, Y/N. I love you more than anything else in this world, and I will always love you.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Lucius is a VERY jealous man, you are his and his alone, no one else gets to have you. If he sees someone looking at you a little too long, making eyes at you, hitting on you, or making you uncomfortable in any way, he’s at your side immediately. Lucius will pull you into his side, arm tight around your shoulders or waist, grey eyes staring daggers at whoever dared to speak to you. “Are you alright, my dear?” As soon as you’re alone, Lucius will kiss you hard, usually pushing you against a wall, snarling “Mine.”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Lucius is a very skilled kisser, he knows how to convey every single emotion just by pressing his lips to yours. He’ll pull you fluff against him, arms around your middle; one hand cupping the back of your neck, the other either on your back or ass. He likes to kiss your lips, obviously, but he also loves kissing your forehead, neck, hands, chest, and thighs. He likes being kissed on the lips, again, obviously, on the cheeks, the chin (because that might be all you can reach), hands, shoulders, basically anywhere.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) I HC that Lucius played a massive role in raising Draco, so I think he’s pretty good with kids. Kids that aren’t his tend to get on his nerves a little, but his own kids, man, they’re the moon and the sun to him. He adores his own children to no end, and if you want to have kids with him, Lucius is more than happy to be a father again.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Lucius gets up early most mornings, so he’s not always there when you get up. But there’s always a cup of coffee/tea/whatever you like on the nightstand under a stasis charm, usually with a little love note under the cup. On the days he can sleep in a bit, you wake with Lucius wrapped around you (he’s wrapped around you every morning, you’re just awake for it this time). He’ll gently kiss you awake, smiling when you open your eyes. “Good morning, my love.”

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights and evenings are quiet intimate affairs between the two of you. Evenings usually entail a private, often romantic dinner before the two of you retire to the sitting room. Lucius will usually hold you on his lap or have you tucked into his side. You either read together, talk about your day, or watch a movie (Lucius has a home theatre type setup, fight me). When it gets late, he’ll lead you up to the master bedroom where you usually share a bath or shower (which can lead to sex), before going to bed, you held close to Lucius’ chest.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Once Lucius is sure and comfortable in your relationship, he’ll start to reveal things about himself. Not all at once, more like when you ask him questions, but he won’t hide things from you once he’s comfortable.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Lucius has a temper, but he keeps it in check with you. You do make him angry sometimes, but it’s never long lasting, and it never gets physical. He might brood in his study for a little bit, but after an hour or so he’ll come out and apologize for being a bear.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) At the beginning of your relationship, Lucius is so dedicated to remembering every little thing about you, he actually keeps a little journal. It’s filled with random things that you’ve said on your early dates, things like “Favorite color: blue, Hogwarts house: Y/H, had three dogs as a child: Kelly, Mary, and Pepper.” Obviously, he doesn’t need it after a while, but he still has the journal in his bedside table. The last addition he made was: “Likes princess cut diamonds, jeweler on 5th has wide selection.”

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) Lucius’ favorite memory of you is the first time the two of you had dinner with Draco. The only thing more important to him than you was Draco liking you. After Lucius had escorted you back home, he returned to the Manor where Draco was waiting. “So?” Lucius asked, pacing nervously. Draco just smiled. “I like her, Father. She’s not Mother, but I like her.” He was so happy to hear that his son liked you, he couldn’t sit still for hours.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) He’s very protective, Lucius wants and needs to know that you’re safe at all times. He’ll never stop you from doing something or going somewhere, but if there’s potential for you to get hurt, he’s either going with you or putting measures in place to make sure you’re safe. Lucius loves you more than anything or anyone, he can’t bear the thought of losing you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) This man has the resources to make you feel like royalty every single day, so you’d better believe that Lucius goes all out on dates and anniversaries. Fancy restaurants, expensive wine and food, and anniversaries and gifts are on a whole nother level. Trips to Paris, Athens, Madrid, anywhere you’ve ever dreamed of going, Lucius will take you there. His gifts are usually very expensive, diamond earrings, necklaces, bracelets, designer clothes, but they can also be sentimental: a book you’ve had your eye on for a while, candy from Honeydukes he knows you like.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Lucius can be a bit narcissistic, very self centered. He sometimes gets so wrapped up in his own head that he forgets that he has a girlfriend who wants and needs his attention. He always feels so guilty afterwards, apologizing profusely to you. He usually ends up surprising you with a fancy dinner or seducing you into be to show you how much he loves you

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Have you seen the man? Lucius cares about his appearance, like, a lot. At the beginning of your relationship, he refused to spend the night with you, solely because he didn’t want you to see him when he work up; with bedhead and morning breath

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes, you’ve stolen his heart, and Lucius cannot live without you. When he was away for a week on Ministry business, he felt like a shell of himself, like part of him was missing. You feel the same, hating when you’re away from him for too long. The thought of leaving him forever makes you feel sick, but Lucius is quick to reassure you that he’s yours forever.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Lucius has a very in depth skincare routine, and if he misses or skips a night, he’s blotchy in the morning

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner? Lucius can’t be with someone who can’t be serious. Of course, he loves it when his girl lets loose and laughs, but in more serious situations, he needs her to be serious. He’s all for being laid back and just having fun, but he feels there’s a time and a place for that versus being serious and sophisticated.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Lucius puts lavender oil on his pillow to help him fall asleep. He has a bit of insomnia, and it takes that or 4-5 rounds of sex to knock him out

#lucius malfoy x reader #lucius malfoy x you #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter reader insert

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jimlingss · 4 years

Text

Until Yesterday

➜ Words: 10.4k

➜ Genres: 75% Fluff, 22% Angst, 3% Smut

➜ Summary: You and Taehyung are hopeless as you are hopeless romantics. But five months after tying the knot and saying "I do", you're hospitalized after a car accident with him. But upon waking up, the doctors tell you that you don't have a husband.

➜ Notes: Inspired by the movie The Vow (2012) and a bit of The Notebook (2004). This is purely an indulgent fic for all my hopeless romantics out there, so it’s a bit different from my usual!

cr.

Marriage was nothing like they told you. It’s true that not much has changed from when you were dating or engaged, that merely the title of your relationship has slightly altered, but you have no regrets doing it at all. They always told you to wait until the honeymoon phase was over — that you'll find yourself tired and driven crazy by him. They told you to wait a few years down the line when you’re not having sex anymore and you’ll be so sick of each other, it’ll be like living with an awful roommate-child than being a couple in love. You’ll be bored when something becomes a normal routine, they said. But it isn’t like that at all. If anything, you’re more in love with Taehyung than ever. “We should put the couch right here.” “Well, we need to buy a couch first, Tae.” “Didn’t you like the leather one we saw today?” “I mean...I didn’t love it and it’s a bit pricey, don’t you think?” “It’s fine. Leave it to me and the bank account!” The blonde grins and pats his own chest and it only garners your scoff. “I’ll take care of you. It’s the least I can do.” “I make the same as you, idiot.” It took years of hard work and dedication for the two of you to get to where you are, to have landed your dream jobs and built your dream house together. But of all the sweat and tears, you wouldn’t trade the outcome for anything else. The house was newly built in a developing neighbourhood, the scent of cut wood and paint still lingering in each room. The white picket fence surrounds the seashell home with the dark brown roof, glass windows large and bringing light into the open concept structure along with the skylights. It has the cherry wood door reminiscent to that of your old dollhouse and a swing out back tied to the tree that Taehyung wanted. It was all the two of you could’ve ever dreamed of and you’re eager to move in, to bring in your furniture and allow this home to grow with you. “Why is the master bedroom larger than I remembered?” Taehyung’s laugh echoes down the hall and you hear footsteps becoming louder against the wooden floorboards. “Maybe the construction team came in during the middle of the night and expanded the room for us for free.” “Yeah maybe,” you playfully quip back at him. “Maybe they’ll consider expanding our backyard too, so we can put that marble fountain in. It might cost more than this house, but you said I could trust in you and the bank account, right?” Taehyung peels you off of him when you glue yourself to his side and giggle. Batting your lashes at him has little effect. “Fountain is still a no-go, sweetheart.” You grin at him and waltz to the adjacent room, peeking your head into the modest space. “We still need to decide what to do with this spare room, Taehyung. If we want to turn it into another bedroom for when your mom visits or maybe an office.” Suddenly, arms wrap around your waist and you ease as your husband props his chin on your shoulder. It’s one of his many habits of his that you love. “How about we save it for a nursery?” The corner of your mouth quirks and you turn your head. “Are you sure?” “As sure if you are.” You spin around in his arms to plant a kiss against his mouth — one where Taehyung steals the opportunity and deepens it, catching you off guard. He pulls you in by your waist when you threaten to pull apart and he smiles at the whimper that comes out of you. When the pair of you finally part, you’re unable to resist the smile that spreads into your cheeks and your arms loop around his neck. “Kim Taehyung, aren’t you blessed? There’s no one I’d rather have a baby with than you.” His mouth forms into a rectangular grin. “You shouldn’t tempt me when we’re going to be late for our reservations already.” “Late?” Your lips fall and you check your watch before your eyes grow wide. Taehyung laughs and strolls behind you as you rush out, grabbing your coat and screaming at him to get the car started. It’s another one of those date nights. One where intimate conversations are shared over a candlelight dinner. Until Taehyung accidentally catches the tablecloth on fire and the candlelight is removed by an exasperated waiter and the intimacy in your discussion ends up with him doing something dumb and water nearly spewing out of your nose from laughing, and the other patrons are glaring at the ruined atmosphere. Still, with a generous tip paid, you leave full and happy. “Anything you want to watch tonight?” you ask as he’s driving. It’s peaceful with the roads emptier at this time of night and the radio playing some generic pop song in the back. You count the lamp posts that pass by. “Hmm...how about we do something else tonight.” Your head turns. “Like what?” Taehyung steals a glance at you and smirks. “I was thinking that we would drive back to the new house and break in that mattress we just got. Maybe get that kid you were talking about.” You scoff, looking straight out the windshield as you feel your face heat. Even after so many years with him, he still knew what to say to affect you. “It’s not that easy, you know, and that mattress is still wrapped in the living room.” “It’s fine. Better start now than later. And it’s our house, we can taint it however we want to.” It doesn’t take much for you to agree — and you do so in the midst of laughter. You shamelessly stare at Taehyung’s profile, the strands of his blonde hair that desperately needs a trim, his long lashes that you’ve always been envious of, the slope of his nose and his thin lips that always knows how to kiss you right. Taehyung’s thick brow cocks when he notices your blatant staring, but you don’t care. You’re just filled with joy and at a loss for words at how he’s with you. He’s yours. The two of you are too wrapped up in one another to pay mind to the car behind you. To the piercing beam lights. The wheels that screech against the asphalt. The sheer speed of the vehicle and recklessness of the intoxicated driver. So when the rear of the car is slammed into and you both lurch forward into the intersection of the road, it’s a shock. // The white fluorescent burns your eyes. It’s hard to see and you can’t feel your body. Not even your fingers that begin to twitch. You’re disoriented and delirious, not sure what day it is, how long you’ve been out, where exactly you are. It’s all muddled in your mind. All you can discern is a constant rhythm of beeping beside you and the odour of disinfect filling your senses. You’re scared — but you’re overwhelmed with the thought of Taehyung. Taehyung. You jolt in your spot and the rhythm of the machine quickens until it’s like an alarm, sounding aloud and making you panic even more. But then there’s a rush of people entering the room, white coats and scrubs checking the machines and lines hooked up from you. “Ms. Y/N, I am doctor Jeon.” There’s a man looking down at you and you blink blearily at him. “You’ve been in a coma for three days now. Is there anyone we can call for you?” “M-My husband,” you cry out with a parched throat. The doctor looks to the nurse but she frowns and shakes her head. “The patient doesn’t have a husband.” You don’t have a husband? At once, sobs wrack through your entire body and you thrash despite the aches in your bones and your ankle wrapped in bandages. The doctor and nurse are alarmed and you choke out the words— “I-Is he okay? Is he dead?” “Ma’am,” the doctor calmly says, “you were the only one injured on the scene.” Before you can utter a word, a man comes from the doorway. His hair is dark, matching the hue lined underneath his exhausted eyes. His features are soft and evidently tired like he hasn’t slept in the past few days. You don’t know who he is but he stares right at you — and then a relieved smile draws upon his features, one that is too comfortable and familiar. “Y/N?” His voice is deeper than expected and he closes the distance. The nurse is visibly confused, but he quickly introduces, “I’m her partner, Min Yoongi.” You recoil back before he can touch you, even when the hurt comes across his expression. “I-I’m sorry.” You don’t know who he is. “I think you have the wrong person.”

It’s hard to cope — your entire universe has been flipped upside down and you don’t know what to think. Suddenly by opening your eyes, your entire life has been swept from underneath your feet. Everything that you loved and cared about is gone. And you’re left alone to deal with it. “I-I remember being with my husband. We were driving back from dinner and planning to take a detour to the new house, but then a car rear-ended us and we were brought out into the intersection,” you recall. But the doctor’s brows furrow. “I see. Well, I can tell you that you weren’t in a car accident, Ms. Y/N. You were injured after falling down the flight of stairs at the subway station. You’ve been in a coma for three days.” It doesn’t make any sense and you squeeze your temples. But it hurts. Everything feels like a dream, like you’re floating and not truly grounded in reality. Your surroundings are hazy and you wonder if this is just a hallucination — a very frightening one, a world where Taehyung doesn’t exist. “What year was the car accident?” the doctor asks suddenly and you exhale, trying to remember the date. “It was late January of 2016.” “Ms. Y/N, it’s 2020 right now.” It’s a shock through your system. At first, you sputter, choking on your own spit. The doctor is kind enough to give you a moment but when you press your hand to your chest, you wince at the bruises around your wrist. Then you open your mouth and close it, finding yourself rendered absolutely speechless. Your brain is melting into itself and you have an urge to get up and scream. “What?” “It looks like you have a four year memory gap,” Doctor Jeon says as if he’s prescribing you with cold medication and if you weren’t bedridden, you might just throttle him to the floor. “It’s okay, these things happen with your sort of injury. It should be fine and only temporary. You can get your memory jogging again after looking at mementos, pictures, or talking to the right people.” “Anyways, we’ll keep you here for a few more days just to monitor that head injury, but it looks like your ankle is healing nicely. There’s no cause for concern, really.” The doctor ends up leaving and you repress the urge to cry again. You don’t know where Taehyung is and you miss him. // Your so-called partner appears days later to help with your hospital discharge and pack up your belongings. You learn his name is Min Yoongi and that he’s two years older than you are. He works as a car mechanic in a shop and you’ve apparently been with him for a whole year. Yet, you can’t help but stay guarded, watching him from the corner with your arms crossed while you try to decipher his impassive expression. The man is quiet, but not in an angry or frightening way. He never asks you questions, makes demands out of you or once appears exasperated with your distant behaviour. He seems gentle somehow. You wonder what your relationship with him was like. “T-Thank you,” you murmur as he packs the slippers he had brought for you into the duffle bag. Min Yoongi turns his head and the corner of his mouth pulls into an oddly warm smile. His voice is husky when he says, “You don’t need to thank me. I’m just happy to see you walking around again.” You’re taken aback. You aren’t used to receiving this kind of love and affection from someone other than Taehyung and from a stranger no less. It makes you unsettled. Conflicted. The car ride is smooth. Yoongi helps you into your seat and buckles you in without making you speak much of a word. You’re not sure where you’re going, but you spend your time looking out at the window and taking in what you’ve missed for four years, or rather what your mind no longer recalls. Luckily, it seems like the world hasn’t changed too much. The streets are familiar, lined with lamp posts and bike racks. There are different billboards and some buildings you don’t recognize, but it looks like many things have stayed the same. The street names, avenues and boulevards, the people jogging and walking their dogs — it hasn’t changed. “Hey, Tae—” Except for the person driving beside you. You turn your head and blood drained from your face, realizing that it’s not your husband you’re sitting beside. “N-Never mind.” There’s a moment of quiet. Then Yoongi’s lips part. “It’s okay.” He glances at you and your eyes meet. “It’s okay,” he repeats with a small smile that makes you even more burdened. The apartment is modest yet cozy. A living room with cushions out of place and souvenirs on the shelves next to the television. The kitchen is to the left, cups in the sink and refrigerator haphazardly filled with take out boxes. It’s lived in, full of memories that you don’t have. But above all, you notice there’s only one bedroom and there are male belongings assorted with yours. Shaving cream. Gel. Cologne. “You live here?” you ask Yoongi, coming to the living room where he was giving you a chance to look around for yourself, perhaps hoping that you would remember something. “We live together,” he corrects with a tiny smile. “But it’s okay. I’m planning on staying at a friend’s place, so you don’t have to worry about me being here if that makes you uncomfortable.” “You…” Your mouth opens before closing, startled at how considerate he is. “You don’t have to. I mean, this place is yours too. It seems unfair if I kick you out. You should...stay.” Yoongi smiles and you shy away from his attention. “I...might not be comfortable sharing a bed with you though…” “Okay.” He nods. “I can take the couch.” That night, you lay awake in the foreign bed, unable to sleep and staring at the ceiling. It feels like you’ve been asleep for four years anyways, although it’s technically only been three days. Your brain is swimming in confusion. You’re not sure what to think. One moment you were with Taehyung and the next, you don’t have him beside you anymore and you’re with someone else. Taehyung…. You reach over to the nightstand and switch on the lamp. A dim yellow light softly fills the room and you begin to truly investigate your surroundings. On a pinboard near the door are pictures of you and Yoongi, selfies taken where you’re both smiling with one another, one of you at a carnival and another at an aquarium. The vanity drawer holds jewelry that you don’t recognize, perhaps ones that Yoongi had bought for you. Your phone contains grocery lists and miscellaneous notes that make no sense. There’s nothing on your social media, no connection, nothing once you search his name up. All you discover is work-related things in your calendar, more pictures of you and Yoongi and affectionate texts between the two of you. There’s no trace of Taehyung whatsoever. But when you dig into the closet and find a box at the top shelf hidden away, your answer is found. It’s inside a box of paperwork — school awards, certificates of achievements, evidence of your first paycheck, your birth certificate, social security papers, and divorce papers. You and Taehyung got divorced in April 2018. Two years and eight months after getting married. And it’s been a year and ten months since. The paper crumples underneath your hands and you gather your knees together on the floor as quiet sobs break through you once again. You don’t know what happened. Where it all went wrong. // When morning comes, you hope the swelling and redness of your eyes from crying so much isn’t noticeable. If it is, Yoongi doesn’t say anything and only regards you with a gentle smile. “I was going to stay home today, but I thought it might be overwhelming for you,” he says before you can protest otherwise, “so I’ll be at work. Take it easy, okay? You can call me anytime you want for anything. My number is in your phone.” You nod. “Thank you, Yoongi.” His smile is sweet. “I already told you, it’s not a problem.” But half an hour after Yoongi leaves, you prepare for your own departure. Hobbling with your weight on one foot and off the one with your injured ankle, you grab a coat and the car keys laying on the counter. It takes a moment to figure out which one is your vehicle in the lot but you find it after pressing the panic button. It looks brand new — apparently recently repaired and the reason why you had to take the subway and how you got your head injury in the first place. It might be wrong to leave without giving a warning to Yoongi, especially when he’s so worried about you, but you can’t stay idle at the apartment. You can’t sit still. You need answers. You drive to the house — turning down the familiar streets and roads before coming into the neighbourhood that feels like you had been in just a week ago when it’s probably been years. But you don’t recognize it anymore. It's more developed than you last remembered. What once were empty lots have other homes built. All the sidewalks are paved, there’s an elementary school down the avenue, a new playground that shines, neighbours that have moved in. What hasn’t changed is the house itself. There’s still the white picket fence that surrounds the seashell white home, a shade you had personally picked yourself when building it. The roof is a dark brown and the front door cherry wood. The glass windows are large with baby blue curtains and you wonder if there’s still the swing in the backyard…. You get out of the car, feeling your emotions swell up to your throat and your eyes becoming watery as you gave upon the house. This was the place you had built with Taehyung. The place you both had planned to live in for years. The place you wanted to raise your kids, grow old and retire in. It was perfect. The combination of your dreams. Where did it all go wrong? You close the distance, limping up the path to the door and knocking on it. After a moment, you ring the doorbell properly. But even then, there are no answers and you notice that the Kim nameplate under the mailbox is gone. Of course. It’s been over four years after all. You cross the street back to your car again, but not before catching sight of a woman bringing groceries up her driveway and towards her own house. “Um, excuse me.” She turns at your voice, brows lifted. “Do you happen to know who lives there?” You point to what was once your home. But unfortunately, she shakes her head. “Sorry, I don’t. I know that house has been sold a few times and the owners have recently changed again.” “Oh. Thank you.” It’s hard to leave the house behind you, but you keep your foot on the gas pedal and drive, never glancing out the rear-view mirror in fear of bursting into tears again. You still have more questions than answers, so your next destination becomes downtown where Taehyung’s engineering firm is. The two of you had met in school, back when you were awkward and chasing after your ambitions of being a chemical engineer like your aunt while for him, he wanted to take his childhood lego dreams to the max and become a civil engineer. Your neck hurts to look at the top of the skyscraper, the many windows reflecting the bright sunlight into your eyes and blinding your vision. If there was any place where you could find Taehyung, it would be here. It’s his dream job. What he had wanted for so long and legitimately cried when he found out he got a position at. You remember that day, how proud you felt of him for achieving such a goal. But when you approach the receptionist at the lobby’s desk, her response only fires the confusion further. “Sorry. We don’t have a Kim Taehyung working here. Are you sure you’re not mistaken?” You miss him. And you wonder at what point, he wasn’t a part of your life anymore. // In an attempt to find Taehyung, you contact your friends and work your way down your list of contacts on your phone. They’re happy to hear from you, some even knowing about your accident and asking if you’re alright. But when you ask about Taehyung, they tell you that they haven’t spoken to him since the divorce. That they’ve lost contact. That the months leading up to it, the two of you were distant from them and they’re unsure of the reasons for what had happened. It was frankly unexpected. “You always told me it wasn’t any of my business, dear,” your mother says over the phone. “You actually got quite upset when I asked, so after a while I didn’t anymore. Do you want to talk to your dad? He’s watching the news right now.” “No.” You press your temples, holding in your sigh. “It’s fine.” Frustration overwhelms you. No matter where you turn, you can’t seem to get the reasons for yourself. You can’t find him. “Is the take out okay?” At once, you’re snapped out of your thoughts and you lift your head to meet kind, cat-like eyes staring at you. “It’s good,” you try to smile and nod. He seems to sense how disconnected you are. “I’ll learn how to cook. I know you like carbonara, so maybe I can find a recipe this weekend and try to make it, so we don’t have to eat out all the time.” You stare at the man across from you. How tired he seems, his dark hair shagging in front of his forehead, his downcast head facing his food as his fork scrapes against the bottom container, never quite taking a full bite. Yet whenever your eyes meet, his plump lips always tugs into a small smile and his eyes crinkle. “I’m sorry.” Yoongi’s brows lift at the sudden apology. “What for?” “For not remembering you.” Even if Min Yoongi is a stranger, you can feel how intimate the pair of you used to be by the photographs you’ve seen, by the way he still regards you. You feel guilty for not being able to return his affections. “It’s fine. It’ll come back with time, right? Don’t stress out about it too much. It won’t do you any good.” “Yoongi.” You have his attention by the way you say his name like he hasn’t heard it uttered from your lips in quite a while. “I went searching for my...ex-husband today.” It’s foreign to call Taehyung that. It’s unsettling and makes you uncomfortable. But your eyes never divert from Yoongi’s. “I need answers.” “I know,” he murmurs in a low voice, still playing with his food. As intimidating as he might appear on the surface, you’re quickly learning how considerate and soft-spoken he really is. “And I want you too. I don’t want you to have any regrets. I want you to know you’ve made the right choice by being with me.” Your heart squeezes at his thoughtful nature and you sigh lightly before stuffing your mouth with some of the noodles, trying to alleviate the tension. “You’re a good man, Yoongi.” He chuckles, gummy smile emerging for the first time that you can recall. “Maybe that’s why you chose me in the first place.” // The avenue is nostalgic, a street that you and Taehyung spent many dates at with its cheap street food and cute stores. And when you were both working, it was the halfway point between your workplaces and where you’d meet to have lunch on those special occasions. A few things have altered from when you remembered them, the stationery shop closed and that ice-cream parlor changed into a pancake café instead. But for the most part, it remains the same. You aren’t sure what you’re doing here. Of all your ways and methods in searching for Taehyung, even you know that it’s unlikely you’ll find him on a Tuesday morning at such an obscure location. But it’s where you’re drawn too, where your body told you to go and your mind followed. Otherwise, you’re not sure what to do anymore or how you should contact him. You wonder if it’s too drastic to drive hours away to visit his mom on the off chance that she’s still living in the same place after four years. If she moved, the journey would be for nothing. But even then, if you somehow found him and reached out, would he even be willing to talk to you? A sigh escapes your parted lips. You tilt your head up to the sky, wondering where on earth he is. And in your reverie, you fail to notice the strapping brunette humming to the music he’s listening to. Not until your shoulder collides with his as he’s walking the opposite way. But instead of an apology spilling from your mouth, you’re interrupted by a call of your name— “Y/N?” It's shock that has taken hold of his expression. His hand rips out his earphones and the loud music becomes silenced from his world. With the way he looks at you, it would be like he’s seen a ghost. A stranger from his past. In your mind, it’s only been a week since you’ve seen him. And you’ve been missing him so much. On sheer instinct, you wrap your hand around his wrist, afraid to let go. “Taehyung.” // It’s awkward, the stiff air almost suffocating your lungs. You’re sure that the first date wasn’t even as bad as this. But you don’t mind whatsoever, even if he’s shifting uncomfortably at the intent way you stare and how it makes him break out into a sweat. Even if Taehyung hates you now, as long as you can see him like this, it’s enough to bear. Taehyung clears his throat, diverting his vision elsewhere. “So….you look like you’ve been well.” “Not really,” you murmur. Taehyung is still a man of intense habit. His drink order hasn’t changed, a cappuccino with extra whipped cream and chocolate shavings. At the same exact coffee shop since you were dating. And he’s taken the same table in the corner of the shop too, the spot of your many study dates. It’s these habits that have led you back to him. “I heard you weren’t working at the engineering firm anymore,” you say after another tense pause. Taehyung’s brows curiously raise. “I haven’t been working there in years. You knew about it.” “Did I?” He’s wary that you can’t recall. “Yeah….” “What are you doing now?” “I’m in animation.” Your eyes widen, surprised. “I never knew you could animate— well, I knew you could draw, but you never even watched much animation.” Taehyung shrugs. “It’s a good fit. I didn’t know I’d like it either until I tried.” Your expression softens, a tender smile pulling into your cheeks. Taehyung’s gotten older but in a refined way. His hair is back to its natural colour, a few wrinkles set into his skin but his features are sharper and less rounded and boyish. He seems less mischievous and irresponsible too, a little more mature and quiet. Or maybe he’s reserved because you’re his ex-wife. The thought makes you nauseous. He sips his drink. “So...what have you been doing?” “Not great. I recently got into an accident, Taehyung.” That seems to grab his attention and his eyes become rounded while you brace yourself. “Apparently I fell down a flight of stairs at the subway station and I was in a coma for three days.” “Oh shit. That...must’ve sucked. I...I’m sorry to hear that.” “I’m fine now.” You pause, clear your throat. “But the last thing I remember is us, Taehyung. We were planning to spend the night at the new house and we got hit by that car…” “I remember.” He nods slowly and murmurs, “But the accident wasn’t that bad, Y/N. We were only bumped.” “I don’t remember that,” you tell, earnest eyes connected with his that makes him believe you. Even after all this time apart, Taehyung can still tell when you’re lying and telling the truth. Your voice raises in pitch, in frustration and exasperation. “And...and I’m trying to understand how this happened. I’m trying to understand how we…..how we ended up divorced.” Taehyung’s brows furrow and he fiddles with the paper cup. “What’s there to tell? We fell out of love.” “That doesn’t make any sense!” Your shrill voice garners the attention of other patrons, but you don’t pay mind to them. “We got married and were planning to have kids and we just built a house in a new neighbourhood—” “We lost that house.” Taehyung doesn’t look at you. His downcast head allows his eyes to stay on the floor. He looks small — shoulders slugging and frame slumped. “I lost my job and then we lost the house. It went downhill from there and one day, you couldn’t do it anymore and packed your bags. You were the one who divorced me, Y/N.” You’re stunned, unable to get a single word out at the revelation he’s given you. An answer to your questions that you had never expected. That you didn’t want to hear. Taehyung’s eyes are saddened and he never once meets your gaze. “You’ll remember sooner or later. I’m sorry this happened to you, Y/N. I really am. But it was still nice to see you.” He gets up before you can protest, leaving as fast as he came into your life again. // Yoongi arrives home visibly tired, his hair in a disarray and his navy workwear stained with oil and grease. Still, he greets you with a warm, sleepy smile that you still aren’t used to. “I saw my ex today,” you tell him during dinner, breaking the silence by deciding to be open and honest. It at least alleviates some of the guilt weighing on your chest. “I found him coincidentally.” Yoongi’s eyes flicker up, peeking at you. “How did it go?” “It didn’t help. I’m still confused.” You can’t understand why you would ever leave him, even if you lost the house and he lost his job. It didn’t make any sense. “Do you know anything about the divorce, Yoongi? Did I….ever tell you anything?” “You told me that he was pathetic,” he informs but without any malice like he’s simply stating facts. “He was unemployed for two years and didn’t get off his ass to find a job. Hey, your words, not mine.” The corner of your mouth curls even when you’re still stupefied. “Are you alright, Y/N?” An exhale leaves your lips. “I’m not sure.” That night, you find another box in the closet while alone in the bedroom. There are pictures of you and Taehyung from when you were younger and just friends, small mementos like movie tickets and keychains won at arcades while you were dating, and photographs of the wedding day, the two of you with enormous smiles and swollen cheeks. But they’re buried underneath your belongings with Yoongi. // His expression is one of repulsion, like he bit into a lemon or something bitter. But you don’t pay any attention to it. “What are you doing here?” Taehyung is incredulous to see you in the morning, standing in the same café as if you own the place. “I’ve been waiting since eight,” you complain and he repeats his question with increasing skepticism. You suppose it’s not everyday your ex-wife is waiting to run into you, so you don’t blame him for his apprehension. “I’m trying to understand how the two of us got divorced. I know this is probably really weird since for you, I’ve shown out of nowhere after two years.” “You think?” You ignore his playful quip. “But for me, my last memory is still going on that date night and getting into that car accident.” Before Taehyung can utter a word, the barista is calling him as the next person in line. “Can I get—” A cappuccino with extra whipped cream and chocolate shavings. “A cappuccino with extra whipped cream and chocolate shavings,” he says without missing a beat and your mouth tugs into a smile. Lots of things may have changed in the time that you no longer remember, but the fact of how constant he is comforts you greatly. You wait with Taehyung at the counter, feeling his eyes glancing at you every so often. When your eyes meet, he realizes he’s been caught staring. “Once I remember again and make sense of the situation, I’ll leave you alone,” you say even if it hurts, but the last thing you want is to be burdensome to Taehyung. “I just want to understand and get over it and move on like you have.” Taehyung sighs, never saying a word. He picks up his drink and you follow along with him, quietly as to not disrupt the comfortable silence between the both of you. He walks down the street and enters the modest grocery store, beelining to the deli to pick up a ham sub. But he notices your quirked brow. “What?” “No.” You shake your head. “Just reminds me of uni. You used to eat those too. Same brand and everything.” The man scoffs lightly, but he knows. You’ve pointed it out to him many times in the past that he has a tendency to stick to specific habits — the odd quirks that you once said you loved about him. “Like what?” he had once asked when you mentioned it. “Like you always put your beverages on your left side and you chug half a glass of water before going to bed and you always close the entire toilet when you’re done going to the bathroom and you have the same brand of cereal every morning and after you sneeze, you always scratch your nose every time,” you had said in the midst of giggles and then lifted yourself up to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Don’t worry. They’re cute and it’s part of why I love you.” The two of you walk together down the street. The early morning air is crisp and chilly, slightly nipping at his nose. He grips his drink still steaming to warm his hand and Taehyung can’t help stealing a glance at you, wondering if you’re cold too. “How’d you get started into animation?” “Huh? Oh. Well, if you really want to know then after you packed your bags and dumped me, it was a pretty good wake up call.” Taehyung laughs as if he’s recalling a funny memory, but then his expression softens, touched with sorrow. “I decided to get myself picked back up and get a job. They liked my personality enough at the interview to give me a chance. At first I didn’t know what I was doing, but I learned and I like it a lot.” He turns his head when your silence is prolonged. But his eyes widen when he finds your tender smile. “I’m happy for you, Taehyung.” And you really are — even in spite of him not technically being a part of your life anymore. // The next day, Taehyung is not any more impressed to see you there at the café. You enthusiastically smile and wave at him. And when the barista calls the two of you in the line, you have no hesitation. “Can I get a cappuccino with extra whipped cream and chocolate shavings? And just an iced americano for me.” Taehyung eyes you when you pay and stroll to the other counter to wait. “Don’t you have a job to go to?” “I’m still technically in recovery and it’s not like I can work if my head’s a mess.” Taehyung scoffs lightly. “What do you want to know this time?” He can tell by the look in your eye that there are questions on the tip of your tongue. And when you take out a whole laundry list like it’s things you need to buy at a grocery store, a rectangular grin plasters on his face. Taehyung wouldn’t expect any less of you. “Hey, I was thinking about it all night, alright? I was afraid I was going to forget so I wrote it down.” He leans over to look at the list but you move away. “Don’t peek.” “Okay, okay.” He laughs and gestures for you to start. “First question. What did I say before I left?” You look at him, eyes meeting his. “What were my exact reasons for the divorce?” He hums a low note, staring off into the distance. “I don’t remember well. You called me a motherfucker though,” Taehyung chuckles and becomes solemn. “Probably something along the lines that I’ve stopped trying and that you were leaving. There was a lot of crying and screaming. I…..don’t really like to think about it.” There’s a pause and you clear your throat, paper in your hand crinkling and forgotten. “Why didn’t you ever do anything to stop it?” A sigh leaves his lips and he runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Maybe because I’m an idiot. But it’s not like I could’ve forced you to stay with me.” “I’m sure if you had said something, I would’ve stayed.” Taehyung’s smile is meek and sad, not at all like how it usually is. You wonder just how much you hurt him, how much you hurt each other. “A lot can happen in two years, Y/N.” A lot can happen in the two years they were apart too. “Have you been seeing anyone?” “No. I haven’t,” he says. It’s a question that tumbled out of you, one not on the list. // The evening comes and you hear the front door open and shut. Immediately, you call out from the kitchen, “Hey!” Yoongi emerges from the hall with another tired smile. “Hey.” “I got takeout for us,” you say while heating said food up. “How was work? Busy again?” “A little.” The man comes closer to see what you’ve bought but before he’s able to assess, he mindlessly leans in and plants a soft kiss against your cheek. You instantaneously freeze, the muscles in your body becoming rigid and tense, and Yoongi realizes. “I’m sorry. It’s a bad habit.” He pulls away, disheartened and guilt wells up in your throat. “It’s okay.” Yoongi nods and he shrugs off his coat, walking back towards the hall to hang it up, but you stop him before your conscience can berate you, before you hurt him further— “I saw him again. This morning.” He halts. He stands still as you watch his backside. The both of you know who you’re referring to. “How was it?” Yoongi inquires hesitantly as if he’s not sure if he even should. “It was good,” you murmur. “I got a few more answers.” His head turns, the black strands of his hair sweeping against his forehead. Yoongi’s gentle eyes are glossed over, his tone low and husky as he quietly asks, “Can’t you get answers without seeing him?” “I…..I’m sorry, Yoongi.” You divert your vision, but from the corner, you can see the way his mouth curls gingerly. “It’s okay.” But you know that it isn’t. It’s unfair to him to wait for your memories to return, for you to continuously see someone of your past as he waits for you to come to love him as you once did. The man retreats into the darkness and you feel guilt overwhelm you. // When Taehyung wakes up, does his daily routine and heads to the café, he opens the door and expects to see you. Standing there, waiting for him as if you were the owner or a barista working full time. “Are you sure you’re not healthy enough to go back to work?” He grins, brows lifted and almost impressed at how adamant you are. “No.” You loll your head to the side. “I’m still feeling tired.” Taehyung scoffs lightly, noting that you always show up earlier than he does. “Tired, huh?” “You must be tired too. Your shirt is inside out.” “What?” His line of sight follows to where you’re pointing and Taehyung looks down to see that his shirt is indeed inside out. He groans in embarrassment as you laugh. “Did you not notice?” He doesn’t answer, grabbing his drink from the counter once the barista calls his name and he books it out of the shop. But not without you following behind him and still giggling. “Are you sulking?” You quickly catch up to him and quirk your head almost to his shoulder. “I’m just teasing, Tae. It’s not that noticeable.” “You noticed it.” “Well I’ve always noticed everything about you.” He clicks his tongue in feigned annoyance and stops, making you halt on your heels. “Don’t flirt with me, woman. Didn’t you say you were seeing someone?” You scoff, continuing to walk and this time, he’s the one who follows after you. “Who says I’m flirting with you? I think you’re terribly mistaken and quite frankly, full of yourself.” Taehyung grins. “It’s not my fault I was born this handsome and have so many people regularly flirting with me.” “Uh-huh. You’re beginning to sound like Seokjin.” “He’s not half as handsome as I am.” You burst out laughing, knowing that your old friend would probably throw a fit if Taehyung openly fought him for the position of most handsome in your group of friends. “I beg to differ.” “Then why didn’t you marry him back then?” “Should’ve,” you sing-song much to Taehyung’s chagrin. The pair of you stop in front of his building, the destination of every morning journey. You know this is where you’ll have to leave him off and see him again tomorrow, wait for just these ten minutes of conversations and banter. But unusually, Taehyung doesn’t bid you farewell right away. He doesn’t run away with his tail in between his legs, shooting you a playful glare over his shoulder. Instead, he stops with you and smiles. Taehyung lingers on the sidewalk with you. “Y/N…” He gazes at you. Your eyes connect with his warm irises and something lodges in your throat, an emotion that only seems to come with him. “Hmm?” There’s held silence— “There’s a bug in your hair.” “What?!” His palm slaps your forehead before you can flail, not enough for it to hurt, but enough that you’re stunned. You lift your hand to rub the spot and at the same time, a rectangular grin spreads into his face. Taehyung laughs childishly. “Kidding.” “Are you five years old?!” you shout but it only eggs him on more. “Sorry, sorry.” He bats your hand away and his fingers come to rub the spot for you instead. “I’m pretty sure it was your face cream and not a bug.” The proximity is closed. You can feel his breath against your face, count his thick lashes, draw constellations through the tiny freckles around his nose. You swallow hard, feeling the heat rise into your cheeks and Taehyung catches it. For a moment, his eyes linger against your lips and yours follows down to the dip of his cupid’s bow to the corner of his mouth. There’s a thick tension between the two of you, a kind of intimacy not found between a pair of old friends on a normal morning. It’s a kind of longing that you recognize in Taehyung’s gaze as it’s similar to your own… You lean in to close the distance completely. But then Taehyung abruptly pulls away. His vision is diverted to the ground. All traces of mischief are gone. His mouth has fallen into a straight line, brows knitted together as if he’s in physical pain. “What are we doing, Y/N?” He doesn’t wait for a response. Taehyung turns and walks away while the knots in your chest constrict you. But you run after him. You take three strides before he can vanish from your life — like what you found when you woke up in that hospital bed. The thought of that returning is terrifying. “Taehyung!” “No!” He turns around to face you, shutting you down before the way you call his name can affect him. You’re taken aback by the hurt etched on his expression. “It took me two years to get over you and even now I’m still not over you,” he declares angrily and your eyes widen. “And then you come out of nowhere to make a mess out of my head, playing these games.” Your brows furrow, upset at his accusations and you shout back at him, “What games?!” “I know that the moment you remember again, the moment you get over your stupid fucking amnesia, you’re going to dump me!” Taehyung swallows hard. “You’re going to make me go through all of that again. It’s downright cruel, you dense woman!” “Don’t call me dense!” Without conscious decision, tears begin to shed down your face and you shake your head. “You know that that isn’t my intention.” “I know.” Taehyung sighs. “But it’s going to happen anyway.” The pair of you look at one another and then the doors to the building open. A tall man with dimples comes out and is absolutely bewildered at the ruckus. He’s seemingly familiar with Taehyung, perhaps a colleague of his. “Is something wrong, dude?” “It’s fine.” “Who’s this?” the stranger asks curiously, smiling at you. “She’s my ex-wife.” The man is caught off guard, eyes becoming rounded. “I didn’t know you were married.” “Yeah, well, I used to be.” Taehyung peeks at you in a silent farewell and you watch his backside leave.

When Taehyung wakes up, does his daily routine and heads to the café, he opens the door and then his breath catches in his throat. He doesn’t know why disappointment seems to overwhelm him when you’re not there and he wonders since when he expected you to be in the first place — standing there, waiting for him. He stands in line by himself. Makes his order by himself. Picks up his lunch by himself. Taehyung walks to work alone. And every so often, he unconsciously glances to his side and then sighs when he catches himself. He’s not sure why he keeps anticipating you to be with him. Why he allows himself to feel frustrated when he remembers you’re not here. You’ve become Taehyung’s habit. And now you’re gone.

There’s a timid knock at the door. A moment later, it cracks open. “Hey, dinner is ready….” Yoongi’s puzzled to find you standing on a stool, reaching to the top of your closet but he smiles, glad to see you lively again. “What are you doing? Do you need help?” “It’s okay.” You grab the album you were reaching for and wipe off the layer of dust that covers it. “I just remembered I kept old albums up here. Jeez, it’s so dusty.” Yoongi’s brow lifts. “You remember?” You nod, smiling at him. “I do.” The album is flipped open and you step off the stool to sit on the edge of your bed. Yoongi watches you for a moment and exhales softly. “Well, I’ll leave your food on the table.” You thank him and he takes his leave, shutting the door. You guess no matter how bad your relationship with Taehyung got, you never had the heart to throw away or burn the photographs. And you’re glad. The photographs of your wedding day are still in tip-top shape, images showing the pair of you glowing in the sunset with his arms wrapped around you. You remember that wedding dress and that suit of his that had to be tailored twice. You remember being late to the ceremony and having to run with Taehyung who snuck out to see you beforehand even though he wasn’t supposed to...… There are also photographs of your honeymoon, a vacation to the Caribbean, and another trip of Europe that you went on during your university days. But above all, there are photos of the pair of you in front of the newly built house. Proud and ecstatic. The seashell white home with the dark brown roof and large windows and skylights standing tall behind you two. Ready to house your future. Some things change but these memories won’t. // The sprinklers spritzes across the freshly mowed lawn, a sputtering hiss that leaves a mist in the air. You step up the stone path to the cherry wood door, noticing the golden nameplate under the mailbox, but you don’t dwell. In your haze, your closed fist comes to steadily knock at the door. It swings open. Inside, you find someone with warm eyes, brunette hair and a boxy smile. He encapsulates the sunlight itself, so bright that it’s hard to discern who exactly it is. But you feel like you know. Like you had known before you even knocked and the door opened. The man calls your name. And you’re shaken awake from the beautiful dream. And you wake to an empty bedside, tears welling up in your eyes. It’s the middle of the night, darkness surrounding you and weighing heavily against your body. But you fight against it and rip the covers off of your body, grabbing a cardigan off your chair and rushing down the hall. Yoongi is stirred from the noise and gets up from the couch. “Where are you going?” he asks in a husky voice, running a hand through his hair that’s sticking in all directions. But the sleepiness leaves the man as he watches you shake your head, struggling to put on your shoes with tears in your eyes. “I-I need to go, Yoongi.” But for the first time, he reaches out. Yoongi’s hand clasps around your wrist to stop you, having an inkling that you might never return. “I won’t let you.” His foot is finally placed down, but the decision has long been made. “I’m sorry, Yoongi.” “Don’t say that,” he desperately pleads. “But I am. It’s unfair to you. That I’ve treated you this badly while all you’ve ever been is patient and considerate and understanding. But I don’t want you to wait for me anymore.” “You’re not going back to your asshole of an ex-husband. He was horrible to you.” “Yoongi, what do you expect me to do?” It’s a genuine question that you ask. You’re at a loss and the words choke out of you, but you had these feelings the moment you had awoken in that hospital bed. “I love him.” The pause draws on and you lower your gaze. “It’s not fair for you to wait for me to love you instead. I’m in love with Taehyung.” Yet in spite of your words, Yoongi still pulls you into him. He wraps his arms around you and squeezes you tight as if you might vanish between his fingertips. You come to realize that you never gave Yoongi a chance to express his love to you — you never kissed him or held him despite how long he waited. You feel him tremble against you. The man who you had woken to presses his face to your shoulder, his quiet tears staining your thin clothing. You return his hug, arms lifted around his torso and grasping him close. You remember who he is. You know well. He’s Min Yoongi, the man who you loved. After a moment, he releases you. “Go.” You nod. “I’ll always be thankful to you, Yoongi. More than you’ll realize.” // The car door slams shut. You cross the street, approaching the house that still stands tall on the quiet suburban street illuminated by lamp posts. You’re not sure what you’re doing here at this time of night and you know you’ll just be disheartened when you see another family inside, living in the space that was meant for you and Taehyung. But you needed to see it. It’s your home. What you made with Taehyung. Physical proof of your planned devotion to one another. The house is dark and you assume that the people inside are long asleep. So you take a moment to gaze at it, heart aching inside your chest, and after ten minutes, you turn to walk away and leave your home behind. But then a car drives down the road. It’s a modest vehicle and as you wait for it to pass to cross the street, it instead pulls into the driveway of the house. The headlights turn off. The engine dies. The car door opens. And you freeze, watching the person emerge. “Taehyung?!” The strapping brunette man is unmistakable. He’s dressed in his work clothes, casual sweater and black trousers, his leather crossbody bag slung across his torso. He looks tired from what you can see with the glow of the many street lights, his hair messy and eyes weary. But he still has the energy to be shocked at your sudden presence. Shocked as if he’s been caught in the act. “What are you doing here?” You speak on an exhale. “Y-You bought the house back again?” He bought it after the two of you lost it. Even when there’s no reason to. Not unless it still holds sentimental value. Not unless the memories held in there were ones he still cherishes. Not unless he still loves you. Taehyung murmurs your name, “Y/N…” You run to him, closing the distance, throwing your arms around his neck. And you kiss the silly man breathlessly, pressing your mouth against his and swallowing the groan that leaves his lungs. His arms wrap around your back, holding you close and quickly reciprocating. His head tilts and his tongue slips into your mouth, drawing noises out of you like when you were young and still exploring one another. But it’s a kiss of sadness and longing — yet still sweet even after so much time has passed. After a handful of seconds, Taehyung pulls away. “W-What are we doing?” He shakes his head, letting go of you. But you grab hold of his hand. “I still love you, Taehyung. I love you.” His earnest eyes search yours. “How….how do I know you won’t just remember why you wanted to leave me. How do I know it won’t happen all over again? We’re still the same people, Y/N. It didn’t work once.” “I don’t care,” you spit at him desperately. “To me, it feels like it was until yesterday that we were still married and in love. And right now, right now I still love you, Taehyung. I miss you. I don’t care what happened, that you lost your job, lost the house and started to feel bad about yourself and gave up on us.” Taehyung’s eyes are rounded and his lips part. “You….remember?” You nod. “I have gradually for a while now.” Bits and pieces had fallen together the longer you spent with him, the more you looked at pictures and mementos, and searched your memories. They were loose puzzle pieces, moments of time, until you fit them together to create a whole picture. To finally understand why things happened the way they did. And you can finally recall the downward spiral of Taehyung all those years ago. How he abruptly got laid off, losing his dream job that he had worked so hard to obtain, how the two of you lost the house when your sole income was no longer enough and how depressed he became about losing that home. How he sat at his desk for two years in the dark, playing games and wasting time, giving up on searching for a job and refusing to get himself help in his poor mental state. You remember how he ignored you until you felt like his mother and couldn’t take it anymore. How he pushed your sanity enough that you had to walk away before you were damaged. But in spite of all that has happened… “I still love you.” He’s an absolute shit, but you love him. Without being able to blink, Taehyung tugs you in by your waist and he presses his lips against yours, holding you close to him. You smile against his mouth before your hands lift to cup his cheeks, cradling his face as he deepens the kiss. It’s desperate, hungering to make up for lost time, fulfilling the yearning that has dwelled between the pair of you each time you spoke. Taehyung kisses you like he’s missed you more and the pair of you barely manage to break apart to stumble into the house. “I can’t believe you bought this place back.” It’s a whirlwind, nostalgia slamming into you as you step into the foyer. You’re overwhelmed with emotion, feeling a staggering urge to start crying. “Had to do a lot of negotiating, but I did it,” he murmurs proudly, happy to show you how he’s picked himself up, how he found another passion and followed the path, that he’s no longer so pathetic. “All on my own too.” “Taehyung…” He kisses you again, less gentle than before. He’s merciless, hands placed on your hips and your back arches into him until the force of his body causes the two of you to fall backwards onto the floor. Taehyung catches your head so that it never hurts and he hovers over you, leg between your knees while he peels off his coat. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, gazing into your eyes. “I never got to tell you that. I’m sorry for hurting you.” You nod, grasping at his forearms that’s next to your head and he takes the opportunity to lean down. Taehyung lay pecks against your cheek until he moves his way down to suck bruising kisses into your neck. You cry his name, writhing against him as he palms your breast and leaves his marks all over you. Taehyung eats you out on the cool tiled floors of the foyer entrance, filling the house with obscene sounds that make you embarrassed. But you can’t complain, not when you’re sobbing his name and your fingers are sinking into his hair. You end up cumming all over his swollen lips and chin, and you bat at him when he grins and says it’s delicious. Before Taehyung can completely ruin the mood, you grab him and with little warning, his cock sinks into your cunt, head poking right at the entrance of your cervix. You feel full and he begins to pound into you, satisfying that itch you’ve had for so long. Taehyung makes you look at him the entire time and as you hold him, it hits you just how much you missed him. Tears leak from your eyes and it only eggs him on to be rougher. His fingers sink into the meat of your thigh and his mouth leaves hickeys down the valley of your breasts to admire later. You cum again and then he presses his pelvis into yours and cums in you as well, painting your walls in white. Despite being sweaty and sticky, Taehyung kisses you again and the two of you hold one another. He’s sweet and affectionate until he starts to push his cum back into you with his fingers when you begin to leak. “Now you’re not even trying to hide the fact you want me to get pregnant.” The man mischievously grins. “Last I checked, it was yesterday that we wanted kids.” You burst out laughing, unable to argue with that but…. “We’re not even married anymore. What would your mom think?” “She would probably cry tears of happiness if she knew we were together again. And marriage…” He interlaces his hands with yours. “We could make it happen again. If you want.” You nod. “I do.”

It’s another chance. Another do over. You wonder if you had never lost your memories and tried to chase them down, if you would’ve ever reached out to Taehyung again and reignite the spark between the two of you. Had you not found him again, you wonder if you would’ve known that he’s picked himself again and returned to the man you fell in love with. It’s hard to say but those things are yesterday’s problems. Today, you look towards the future. “Wake up, sleepy head.” On any other day, you might kick him in the knee for waking you up on a weekend, but it’s been so long that you don’t mind whatsoever. Taehyung’s mischief is world’s better than waking up to an empty bedside or to someone you can’t genuinely love as much. “Ugh.” You open your eyes and immediately slap a palm against his mouth. “Don’t kiss me. Morning breath.” Taehyung peels your hand off, grins and smooches you anyway. You laugh and quickly reciprocate. When it’s all done and over, he snuggles into you. “You know…” You’re wrapped in each other’s arms and you slowly blink awake, glad that you’ve finally woken up with him beside you. “...those brown walls in this room are going to have to change.” Taehyung laughs. “Happily.” There’s nothing been more certain of. You want to spend tomorrow with Taehyung and the day after that and the day after that. Until eternity.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #taehyung fanfic #taehyung scenario #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #yoongi angst #yoongi fanfic #throw away your logic y'all #and indulge in some hopeless romance

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etherealluminescence · 4 years

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helloo! can i request the brother with a virgin mc who’s really nervous when they get intimate because she’s scared she cant pleasure them? you can make it nsfw if you want. btw i really like your writing! i hope you have a good day 😊

Hello anon! Thanks for asking, I’ll be making this one nsfw! It’s pretty long since I included smut scenarios at the bottom of each, and as an opening to each hc! Just skip the italics if you don’t like nsfw or feel free to skip this whole thing if it’s not your style, random tumblr user ✨ And thank you I hope you have a good day too anon 🥺🥺

I’m such a kinky person who had to include tail fucking by levi even if no one agrees that is his kink and no one can tell me otherwise.

Brothers react to a f!virgin!MC (NSFW)

Lucifer

Quiet moans filled the air as Lucifer began undressing you. Taking off your blouse, he cupped your left breast through the cloth of your bra, eliciting a yelp from your slightly swollen lips. Slowly, he etched his hand down to your core, rubbing it.

Before he could continue, however, you let out little sobs. You thought you were ready for this, but could you really do it? You were a virgin and judging from his height he’s probably as giant down there as his ego is.

Would you even be enough for him? There’s no way, right? What if he wants you to do something? Are you just going to ruin the mood?

Confused, Lucifer immediately stops his actions and tries to console you. Did he do something wrong? Was he pressuring you into this? Did you not actually want him?

Covering your face with your hands, you tell him that you’re actually a virgin, and don’t know what you should be doing. Would he even be satisfied with you?”

“MC, darling, show me your face.” This was not a command, it was a request. He wanted you to look him in the eyes when he talks to you.

Bringing your arms down, you look up at him and start to cry a bit more. Was he going to berate you?

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, okay? I assure you, I want to do this with you, you are more than enough to satisfy me. And all you need to do is let me hear that beautiful voice of yours.”

Now a crying and blushing mess, you bring your head up to give him a quick peck on the lips, a sign telling him you want to continue.

Deepening the kiss, Lucifer easily starts the mood back up again. Kissing, biting, and sucking all over your neck down between your breasts. Dark purple hickies covered your body by the time he was finished. Somewhere along the lines of him biting and sucking, he had managed to discard your undergarments.

His finger slowly entered you as you stifle in a moan. As he fingered you, he gradually let you get used to it before adding a second, then third, and even a fourth. The sensation was so foreign to you, but oh so very welcomed. Clenching around his fingers, you let out a small cry that it feels weird, as your sticky fluids coat his fingers and trickle down your thighs.

Smiling down at you, he removes his fingers and licks them clean before kissing you and letting you taste a bit of yourself. “You’re doing perfect, what was there ever to worry about, love?”

Mammon

“Of course the human wants to do it with me, who wouldn’t?” Mammon semi-yelled in an attempt to cover his embarrassment. Taking both your hands in one of his, he slowly lowered you down on his bed as he gave you a kiss.

Before he could do anymore, you brought your knees up and told him to wait. He was sort of offended and embarrassed, but decided to listen to what you had to say.

“Im-a-virgin-please-be-gentle-with-me-and-don’t-make-fun-of-me-I-don’t-know-what-to-do-or-how-to-pleasure-you.” you very quickly said before burying your face inside of his pillows beside you.

“What was that MC? You gotta say it slower! Slower! Ya know?” Mammon responded. Truthfully, he heard you clearly the first time, but he just wanted to hear you say it again, but slower, and let him soak in the glory of this.

Taking your face out of the pillow, you looked up at Mammon and repeated yourself. “I’m a virgin, Mammon. I don’t know how this works or how to pleasure you, but please, be gentle with me.”

Seeing his sly smile, you wanted to die. He did it on purpose, didn’t he? Before you could hide yourself from reality again, he pulls you into a deep kiss. “I’m gonna tell everyone the Great Mammon was your first in everything!”

“Ma- mpf!” You were cut off by another kiss. Turning you around, Mammon propped your ass into the air and gave it a small spank making you squeal. Today, he’ll let his little human be, and work hard for them.

Ripping off your pants and underwear, he pushed his fingers into your ass and began to slowly push in and out. His other hand worked at stroking himself, telling you to watch so you know how to do it next time, because you will be giving him a blowjob eventually.

Climaxing on his fingers, he pushed them into your mouth and told you to suck. You ate every last bit of it as if it were the tastiest substance. Pulling his fingers in your ass out, and pushed his length in, causing you to cry from the size. “You were that hungry for my cum MC~? Get ready.” That cocky son of a bitch.

Leviathan

Loud moans from the both of you echoed throughout the room. Levi’s hands were roaming your upper half while his tailed worked on getting rid of your lower half’s clothing. But just as he got to taking off your underwear.

You didn’t mean to, but you started to cry. You were shaking. You just couldn’t control it anymore, out of everyone, you figure Levi would be a virgin and not know what to do like you. But you underestimated how many eroge games he plays.

Startled, Levi was trying his best to function. Why were you crying?? Did you not want a yucky otaku like human? Did you not like him? Did you agree to date him for a few months out of pure pity and suddenly want to get rid of him?

Trying your best to calm yourself, for both your’s and Levi’s sakes, you let out a shaky breath and explain to him what you’re feeling. The gears in his head are finally shifting.

“You mean a beautiful and amazing person like you is a v-virgin?” Levi asks, unsure if he’s hearing it right or if you’re making an excuse.

Repeating yourself, this boy was ecstatic. It was the complete opposite of what you thought was going to happen. You mean he gets to be your first?? And otaku that likes to watch idols and plays video games 17 hours a day actually gets to be YOUR first time?

Levi was amazingly happy and even expressed that very loudly. His little tail was wagging. You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, soon enough forgetting your own worries.

Levi told you not to worry. Although he’s also a virgin, he’s played plenty of eroge games and seen enough hentai to know what to do!!

Spreading your thighs, Levi inches closer until you could feel his hot breath hovering over your clit. Using his tail, he pushed it into your mouth, causing you to moan in shock. As his tail began fucking your mouth, he began working on eating you out.

With one of his fingers, he reached up and began to pinch one of you buds while keeping up the pace. All of this was extremely stimulating for you, a virgin. Two of your holes were being filled and your breasts were also getting attention. Pressing your thighs against his face, you began to smush him as you got closer to your edge, which only excited him even further.

As he pulled out of your mouth, you climaxed and dug your hands into his back, leaving scratch marks. However, the night was still young and just one climax wasn’t enough. There’s a reason he was fucking your mouth, as he shoved his tail into your ass and pushed his length into you.

Satan

Swallowing, you look up at Satan to try and gauge what on earth you should do. Taking his length into your hands, you slowly began to rub and stroke, as best you knew how.

At that point, it was obvious. You couldn’t fake it. You were shaking, you looked confused, and you clearly did not know how to give a blowjob.

Satan was first to speak up between the awkward silence you two shared. Your boyfriend wasn’t going to judge you, but he wasn’t going to get off this way either.

“Do you, perhaps not you know, know how?” It was definitely awkward. The two of you were inwardly cringing. Sex wasn’t something you two often talked about, or well, ever talked about. You never thought about having sex with anyone in general.

Quickly, you responded with a little “no”.

He isn’t judgemental, he could predict it from the fact you would close your eyes if two people held hands in a movie calling it “lewd” and unforgivable. He thought it was a human joke at first, with Solomon saying that too, but the blush on your face was way too strong for it to be a dedicated joke.

Satan takes liberty to guiding your hands over the sensitive parts, and the general parts, telling you how and where to touch and suck.

While he’s explaining, he’s also boasting his knowledge of dick anatomy.

Placing your hands on his hips, you began to lick the tip of his dick before moving to the underside, making sure to give it all the attention it deserved. You soon took a third of him in, your limit, and used your hands to stroke the remaining parts.

Groaning, he entangled his fingers into your hair and began to accidentally choke you against him. Little tears were forming in your eyes, but if felt damn good to have his thick member filling you up, as you listen to hear his groans that you made.

Climaxing without warning, his hot bitter seed filled your mouth. You nearly gagged it out, but swallowed it whole in order to try your best to pleasure him. Patting your head, Satan tells you that you were amazing, and a very quick learner.

Asmodeous

“How about we have some fun, darling?” Asmodeous whispered into your ear before biting it as he wrapped his around you from behind. His hands began to slowly fondle your breasts, but before he could any further.

You knew this day was coming. Asmodeous was the demon of lust, and he was your boyfriend. A very amazing boyfriend who held back on his lust and stayed loyal to you meaning he’s been sex deprived for months. It was finally time, or you might accidentally kill him.

You were more than willing to help your boyfriend, you really were, but you were also scared. He’s been with probably thousands of people by now- he’s probably a thousand and slept with a hundred thousand! How could you, a virgin, satisfy the master of fucking?

But only because he is the master of fucking, he could tell you were uneasy. He tried to avoid making too many moves on you, other than flirting, because he would just know you were feeling nervous, but he couldn’t understand why. He knows he’s beautiful but you don’t have to be so worried to see him nude?

Asmo began to stroke your back and slowly backed down, he could wait until you were ready. But you however, had made up your mind. You were terrified, you knew you wouldn’t be as good as him or the other succubusses who were literally born to fuck, but you wouldn’t want him to be horny and be unable to do anything about it because he loves you.

Grabbing his hand, you turned around and looked up into his eyes, and swallowed putting on a brave face. “Asmo... I’m a virgin, and I’m not sure if I could pleasure you, but if you would, please take care of me.” You started off strong but slowly began to mutter, blushing wildly.

Asmo was incredibly happy. You mean his darling MC is a virgin;; like his girlfriend was worried about pleasuring him and wants to be fucked by him?? And only him?? Ever?

He literally forgets he was trying to get the sick and begins to squeal. He’s holding your hands and telling you words of encouragement and that you’re the only one for him, and that he will teach you exactly what to do.

Groping your ass, he gave it a rough squeeze as you yelped. Taking advantage of the situation he shoved his tongue into your mouth and easily claimed dominance. Swirling his tongue around, he made sure to taste all of your mouth. You’re his.

“That’s just the basics on how to get a quick kiss~” he teased as he started to nibble on your neck. His left hand was already under your panty, fingering you, while his right was massaging your breast. Your small whimpers and mewls only encouraged him to continue and do more.

He knows he should only do so much while you’re a virgin and probably don’t have a high enough stamina yet, but damn were you sexy as fuck. You on the other hand, were drowning in pleasure as he sucked and bit your buds and was pushing even more fingers deeper inside you, hitting your g-spot.

Beelzebub

Beel’s big figure dominated you as he pinned you down underneath him on his bed. You had always know he was tall and well sculpted, but being this close and intimate with him, you were having second thoughts.

“You’re so pretty, MC.” Beel whispered as he gently kissed you on the lips, as if going any harder would cause you some kind of harm.

Ah, of course he was gentle. He always was. It sort of made you feel bad, and even conflicted for having thoughts of being scared. But hearing him unzip his pants, and looking at his dick brought you back into reality.

There’s was no way it was going to fit. Your two hands could not wrap around that. Your mouth could not fit more than a third of that, even on a good day. How are you going to pleasure him or have sex if you can’t even fit him?

Beel was always watching you, so he could immediately tell you’re uneasy. And he immediately began to tell you not to worry, and it’s okay. And that he will stop and go get snacks for you if you want to stop right now.

It caused you to cry. He’s just so sweet, how did you land the greatest and softest boyfriend in the history of the world?

He wasn’t sure what to do so he went to his dresser and pulled out a bag of chips and offered it to you. Seeing Beel so worried and concerned made you feel a lot better.

“I’m fine, Beel. I just really love you, but I’m a virgin. I’m not sure if I could fit you, or well.. pleasure you. I’m sorry, it’s stupid.” You ended up telling him.

Did you think he was just going to go put it in without prep work?? Of course not! You silly goose, he was going to prep the life out of you. And him. Don’t worry. You probably won’t even be able to go all the way today.

“Oh.” Well now you learned about what prepping was. And you thanked whoever came up with that idea.

Bringing your thighs into his shoulders, he pulled your panties down and pushed his tongue into you, and started to swirl. One of his hands was covered in lube, working on himself, while the other was working on your ass.

Going deeper and deeper, you let out small whimpers that gradually grew into loud moans. Your body was no longer in your control, and the only thing in your mind was now your desires.

Climaxing for the first time, Beel didn’t even bother to stop. He ate you up like his favorite meal and continued to work on you, pulling his fingers out of your ass to give it a light smack before continuing his work. “One day, we’ll get to the full course, but let’s enjoy this first.”

Belphegor

“You’re such a good girl.” He whispered pulling you closer towards him. As he took off your shirt and bra, he gave your nipple a quick pinch before starting, causing you to yelp in surprise.

You honestly had no clue what you were doing. You knew you were being intimate with Belphie, but how did you get to this point? One second you two were cuddling, and the next he asks you to help with his hard on.

You didn’t realize there was so much to the bedroom world. There were different positions? Styles? Ways of pleasuring people? What on earth is a breastjob? Is that like plastic surgery?

Before you could say anything, Belphie could already see you shaking. Hell, you were shaking more than the time he kind of killed you.

He already had his suspicions that you had no idea how this worked, but is that really something to be scared about? He didn’t get it.

Sighing, he tried his best to tell you how it works. He didn’t want to embarrass you by making you say that you’re a virgin allowed, so in a way, he was being nice.

“Put your hands on my dick and suck. Afterwards pull out and put your breasts against it. It would kill you if we did it raw.”

Blushing, you stared at him with wide eyes. So he could already tell you’re a virgin, huh? Was it really that obvious? But before you had time to express your inexperience, and how it was obvious, Belphie unbuckled his pants and removed his boxers. He just wanted his hard on gone, not a therapy session.

Thanks, Belphie. You tried to be nice in your own way.

Letting saliva form in your mouth for a bit, you bring your face closer to his length as you open and start to suck. Belphie’s hands entangled themselves in your locks, guiding you on how to slowly bob, and when to stop.

As you removed yourself from him, he gripped you by the hips and pushed you forward, your breasts against his lower half. Parting your breasts, you push him all the way inbetween, before slowing starting to move up and down.

With the help of Belphie, you gained a steady pace and gradually began bounding on your own. His low groans encouraged you and you went as best you could. With him no longer needing to guide you, he began to squeeze and roll your nipples between his fingers, causing you to cry out in ecstasy as well.

#obey me #obey me hc #obey me swd #obey me headcanons #this is a long one so it took awhile sorry for posting it late #request

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

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@ava-sr said: EE i do apologize that this is late, but maybe a small request because of my moblit-brainrot. which dates he would like to take you on? maybe like one of those guided painting classes? aGh all i know is that man is the absolute sweetest and i love him with all my heart

Types of dates with Moblit pt.1

{ Moblit x reader | tw:none | fluff | modern }

{ "Vanitas Still Life" 1662 by Edwaert Collier c. 1640 - after 1707 London or Leiden }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday.

I. Cuddling for hours at a time

you have to understand that in Moblit's overworked and stressful life, moments of respite are rare and far. He's so deprived of touch and love that it's a miracle how he has managed to function without even a beep. The thought of having someone to warm his bed, cradle his worries and put them to rest by simply combing through his hair, never crossed his mind despite having a hundred thoughts running through it per minute.

Some days he manages to forget your existence even, not out of some selfish desire or to belittle you, but out of disbelief, after all it's too good to be true.

You're too good to be true to him.

Your tender words pull him back each time he blindly steps closer to the edge, a never-ending spiral of self-destructive work tendencies awaiting him at the bottomless abyss. Your warm embrace shutting out the swarm of nagging voices meant to guilt him out of rest, to act as if the key to curing his sleep deprivation was to not acknowledge its existence, that fatigue symptoms could be erased by his own homemade placebo remedies.

As if your mere touch could turn anything to gold, and in his case, it did.

It was what made the difference between an anxiety inducing catastrophic day, and a mere rough stepping stone he could easily manoeuvre around leaving his pace steady and undisturbed.

Reminding that it's okay to fail, to give something your best only for it to crumble to dust. It's a process of trial and error, it takes time and patience.

You don't get to choose how well things end up working out, it's not up to you nor is it your place.

And that's why for him, his ideal place in the world is in your arms, to simply let the rise and fall of your chest lull him into comfortable numbness. His features softening as the oxytocin levels rise, courtesy of your warm embrace, soft skin providing just the right pressure against his own.

Laying on your shared bed together, the soft breeze coming from the open windows moves the thin curtains. Moblit is Holding you close as one of his arms sneak around you, fingertips tracing shapes up and down your back. Face buried in your shoulder as yours rests on top of his head, stray hairs almost tickling your nose when you brush against them.

The passing of time does little to his cotton filled mind, occasionally attempting to pull you even more closer as if it's possible. Legs tangled with yours under the heavy blanket despite him hogging most of it.

Every now and then, when a certain amount of time passes, he'd look at you with half-closed eyes, a lidded look of satisfaction before murmuring in his sleepy voice.

"Do you want to get up?" And despite his sincere words and warm tone, his body makes no move to detach itself from your side.

Does he know the soothing effect of the circles he keeps drawing up your back? Or how much him talking with his lips still pressed against your neck makes you melt just a bit.

Whatever it is, Moblit seems confident in his ability to keep you snuggled against him, tucked underneath the warm blanket and fluffy pillows almost muffling your answer.

II. Visiting a music bar

Preferably something with soft yellowish lights, small enough spaces not meant for dancing but to create an intimate atmosphere akin to a music venue.

A jazz club, maybe a brewery.

Dimmed sunlight seeping through the thin curtained window, shadow traces of people smoking outside while making small talk, cushioned bar stools placed around the long bar with a mirrored wall behind it as several aged bottles and fancy glasses with signatures decorate the wooden shelves.

The quiet chatter of people blurring behind the mellow music the band is playing on the nearby stage, smooth movement with relaxed postures as if they've done this a hundred times before, and they probably have.

You're sitting in one of the booths near the window, a private spot where you're far enough for people not to notice yet close enough to still hear the music flowing.

The beat is slow, hypnotising even that the minutes blur together.

Moblit giving you a smile as he comes back with your drinks, sitting opposite of you before handing you the cold glass, ice cubes clinking against each other as you raise the frosted rim to your lips, sugary sweet filling your senses, the cooling sensation of the drink slides down your throat.

There's a hint of citrus in it.

You've learned to trust Moblit's choice in drinks after being together for so long, he just knows what's going to taste good and which kind of drink you seem to need without having to say a word.

He seems comfortable here, even referring to the bartender by his name like they've been friends for a while, and maybe they have judging by the out-of-script welcoming he gave Moblit.

One conversation starts another and both of you find it so easy to talk to each other without boundaries or second thoughts, the smiles and occasional chuckles almost never leaving your features while nursing on your drinks.

He tells you stories from his work and about his co-workers. You find yourself entranced by his seemingly abusered line of work and the amount of chuckle worthy instances a single work day can offer.

That one time Hange knocked the liquid incense oils that someone Levi brought to freshen the place, well to their luck the oils fell directly on an open flame from the nearby scented candle which resulted in the fire spreading through the liquid alcohol between the broken glass.

And despite the feeling of dread, from seeing his files catch on fire this story brings him, the sound of your chocked laughter as you almost spilled your drink over your clothes, made it all worth it for him.

III. Antique shop

There was something to be said about Moblit's yearning for especially old looking things, trinkets, crumpled maps, tea stained letters and silvered mirrors.

You can't miss the gleam in his eyes as he opens the antique store door open for you the chime of the door bells following after. The smell of burning incense lingering in the air alongside the slow ticking of an old wooden clock.

The look on his face is of pure fascination, his eyes following the trail of the objects lined on the tables, from the old oil paintings with hand carved frames to the crystals reflecting sunlight next to the colourful stones. Observing as he carefully walks behind you through the narrow spaces between the tables and shelves.

Pulling your attention whenever he finds a particular curious thing to show you as if it's an offering, it can range from music boxes with a really familiar melody that you can't quite remember or a beautifully shaped rose quartz stone that feels cool against your palm.

Whatever he brings, it often manages to intrigue you in some way. Moblit could always notice things other people would skip over otherwise, scanning the tables was like a small treasure hunt.

He'd always pick one or two leather journals, almost filled to the brim with ink scribbled pages and tea stained spots, personal diaries dating back to the 90's and if he's lucky they might edge towards the 80'. He likes to read them, live in someone else's shoes even for a split second, puzzle pieces falling in place as he figures out what kind of person the author was.

Of course sharing his discoveries with you while having lunch later, not out of pride nor to show off, but out of genuine respect to other people's lives and their dedication for leaving behind a piece of their soul.

IX. Roadtrip

It's something he plans months ahead in advance, he genuinely wants to make the best out of the few weeks off both of you got to spend together. Making sure to plan a set of destinations, preparing snacks and food, packing your essentials and renting a big enough van.

A small getaway even, to completely leave everything behind and set out on a carefully planned adventure with the one he loves most, you.

Enjoying the fresh weather, the high sun and fast wind as both of you roll down the windows, fields of green and yellow meet you alongside the road the further away you move from the city.

Although be careful; the Moblit behind the wheel is a much much more different than the one you know, he's using all what remains of his self-restraint not to speed down the highway and swirl, the thought crosses his mind every hour or so and he's visibly agitated when you're forced to drive behind a particularly slow driver.

You might even have to remind him of the speed limit occasionally just so you don't end up with a pile of speeding tickets at the end of the trip.

It's like all his usually cautious and calculating demner evaporates into mist the second he touches the steering wheel, Temptations of just flooring it while high on adrenaline still linger in the back of his mind.

Beside that, the trip is a relatively calm one as you get to bask in all the new and different places you'll get to visit. Try new food and walk through different city streets, just the experience of something out of the usual is enough to satisfy Mobilt. Not to mention the fact he gets to experience it with you and just wander around without a purpose or care as long as you're together.

He'll definitely keep in mind what sort of things you seem to like, what intrigues you and the kind of reactions you show. He even started an album filled with mostly your pictures and the things you've seen.

It's most relaxing and filled with low stakes, nothing too fancy but nothing too boring either. Walking the thin line perfectly.

X. Visiting a museum

But not just any museum you see, one centred around natural history. Displaying everything from ancient fossils to full on skeleton displays of a 122 foot titanosaur, depictions of distant relatives of homosapiens and modern evolution trees of the current animals.

Moblit guiding you through the shiny tile floor and between the exhibits while holding your hand, eyes gleaming with passion as he goes on and on about each thing you glance at. Making all the trivial facts seem more fascinating than they have any right to be.

The squeaking sound of footsteps echoing on the too clean floors as four children pass you by, racing each other towards the iron suits of armour on display. They almost fall over the red ropes from leaning too close in, their caregiver seemingly busy talking with a security guard over the 'smoking not allowed' sign.

You spare them a final glance before following Moblit through the corridor leading to the world history & old inventions section. Soon enough he steals your attention again as he begins talking about the first airplane prototype that you can't help but be enamoured by.

Despite there being a sign framed on the wall that sums up the jest of Moblit's lecture, he manages to make it not only less boring but add his own twist and uncommon known facts to it that it feels less of a history trip and of an interesting conversation.

He has so much knowledge that he's so eager not to only share but hear your own opinion and take on it, valuing your view no matter what amount of knowledge you have over the subject.

XI. Painting together

It's an idea that you offhandedly suggested after your museum visit, after all spending an hour in the Impressionism era gallery did leave an impression on you. And so the suggestion of checking out an art store for some acrylics and a couple brushes left your lips on the way home without a second thought.

Well little did you know that the small suggestion managed to latch into Moblit's brain for weeks after, making him spend his free time searching and gaining information on painting and how to start, he even managed to find some really good classes having a limited time course sale

That's how both of you end up in a guided painting class, seated next to each other with aprons on and a pallet to mix paint tubes in. You'll find out how much of a fast learner Moblit is, so much that most of the class he spends guiding your hand through the steps and offering his help whenever possible, although he still remembers not to be overbearing and still gives you space.

Both of you are in your own bubble from the class, being with him makes you feel easy and more reassured. He's like your very own comfort corner that you seek in every party, except that he can walk around with you and always looks out for you.

And whatever you end up putting on that canvas, Moblit will cherish more than any renaissance painting, will even insist on hanging it somewhere in the apartment.

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bettsfic · 3 years

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how i got an agent, or: my writing timeline

when i started writing, i had no idea how publishing worked and i had a lot of misconceptions about it. but i just signed my first literary agent so i thought i’d share what my experience has been getting to this point, in case it helps anyone else with their own publication goals. i’m also including financial details, like submission fees and income, because “i could never afford to pursue writing as a career” is something that kept me from taking the idea seriously.

for context, i write mostly literary fiction and i’m on the academic/scholarly writing path. this process looks a lot different for other genres.

i didn’t write this in my pretty nonfiction narrative voice; it’s really just the bare-bones facts of how it went down, how long it took, how many words i wrote (both fanfiction and original fiction), and how much it all cost.

background

2002 - 2005: read a fuckton of books, wrote some fiction, wanted to be a writer but knew it would never happen, journaled every moment of my life in intimate detail

2006: started working full-time (at a chinese restaurant) while still in high school, also started taking courses for college credit; no time to write, and forgot i had ever wanted to be a writer

2007: graduated high school, started college (psych major), still worked at the restaurant, moved out of my parents’ house into an apartment with my boyfriend; my dad got diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer

2008: continued college full-time, quit the restaurant and started part-time as a bank teller, broke up with bf and moved in with a friend at an apartment where the rent was obscenely high; had to pick up a second job altering bridal gowns

2009: continued college full-time, started dating someone else, moved in with him, had to support him, took a third job as an admin assistant

2010: continued college full-time, still had 3 jobs; my dad’s cancer became terminal

2011: my dad passed away; i graduated college with a 3.9 and $31k of debt; quit 2 of 3 jobs; got promoted at the bank; my bf cheated on me and we broke up; moved back in with my mom

2012: a very dark time; also, bought a house (because where i’m from, it’s cheaper to buy than rent)

2013: discovered fandom

2014, age 24

this is the year i started writing and posting fanfic. prior to that i was a compulsive journaler but had no drive or desire to become a writer, despite how much i had written when i was a teenager. it seemed like a very childish dream. at this point i assumed writing was just a phase like all my other hobbies i’d picked up and set down.

but fandom proved to be really healthy for me, and i made some good friends who encouraged my writing and made me want to be better at it. i was really not very good at writing. i don’t think i had any natural creative talent whatsoever, or even a particularly vivid imagination. the only thing i had going for me was the ability to put thoughts into words after a decade of obsessive journaling.

i started writing in spring, and by the end of the year my total word count was 311k. i was making a decent income at the bank, insofar as my bills were covered and i had health insurance. i still had a significant amount of credit card debt from college that i was trying to pay down, and which was eating up all my extra income.

2015, age 25

i continued writing through 2015 and went to visit @aeriallon, whom i’d met in fandom and who told me i should consider applying to MFAs. i was miserable at the bank and knew i wanted to go back to school, but i didn’t think there was a chance in hell a grad program would accept me, since my writing wasn’t very good and i hadn’t so much as taken a single english class in undergrad. she told me to just look around and do a few google searches to see what i found.

when i started searching, i assumed i would probably be more compelled toward an MEd or MSW programs and go the therapy route, which is what the plan had been in undergrad before my dad died and my life got derailed. i never wanted to be a banker, but i’d got a promotion into commercial finance that paid decently, so i took it and told myself i’d work for a year before going back to school. but then i kept getting promoted and one year became many.

i ended up being more drawn to creative writing MFA programs because they seemed to want people with weird backgrounds like mine. also the classes sounded fun and the programs were funded. i didn’t know how i would be able to afford my mortgage payment or sell my house on a fraction of the income i was making at the bank, but i figured i’d apply and see what happened.

it took 6 months to get a writing sample ready to apply to MFAs. it was the only ofic story i’d written as an adult, and in retrospect i had no idea what i was doing because at that point i didn’t read literary short fiction. but i got the sample as good as i could get it and completed my applications. i applied to 6 schools and got accepted into 1.

in 2015 i wrote 250k. i can’t find my application spreadsheet from that year, but i probably spent between $300 and $400 on application fees. early in the year, i had finally managed to pay off my credit card debt and save a little bit of money.

2016, age 26

the school i got into was within driving distance of my house, so i didn’t bother moving. i tried to quit the bank but my boss convinced me to stay on 2 days a week working from home. i agreed to it, because my grad stipend wasn’t enough to cover my bills, and i was counting on what little savings i had accrued to get me through the program. i still had no drive or interest to publish. i mostly just wanted to go back to school so i could learn how to be better at this thing i really enjoyed doing.

in the MFA, as you might imagine, i had to read a lot of stuff and write a lot of stuff, and was encouraged to begin submitting some of the short stories i wrote for workshop. i was not particularly into the idea, considering it seemed like a lot of work for little reward, and also i didn’t think my stories were very good.

i also started teaching english comp. i hated it and decided that after the MFA, i never wanted to do it again. haha. hahahahahaha

in 2016 i wrote 343k. i didn’t apply/submit in 2016 so i didn’t pay any fees, but my grad stipend was $14k for the academic year, plus the income i was making at the bank.

2017, age 27

i did a complete 180 and decided i loved teaching more than anything else in the entire world, and i was willing to do whatever it took to become a teacher. i realized that to become a teacher, i needed to publish. begrudgingly i started submitting to literary journals. i also applied to summer workshops and got into tin house, which i highly recommend if that’s something you’re interested in. at tin house i met my dream agent, who seemed really interested in my work and encouraged me to query her as soon as i had a book done.

a lot of personal drama happened that year. i was still working at the bank in addition to teaching a 2/2 and taking a full course load. in summer i had a long overdue mental breakdown.

2017 was a rough year. i wrote 149k. this is the year i started keeping a dedicated expenses spreadsheet. i spent $174 in submission fees. tin house tuition with room and board was a little over $1500 + travel. i thought it was worth it because i met the agent i thought i would later sign, but that didn’t pan out. (i made some great friends though!!) tin house was definitely an unwise financial decision; i paid for it out of what little i managed to save in 2015.

2018, age 28

early in 2018, i went from teaching comp/rhet to creative writing, which only cemented my desire to teach writing as a career. i realized i was far better at teaching writing than writing, but i knew i had to keep writing to keep teaching (shocked pikachu.jpg), so i kept submitting to journals. i got my first story accepted. i didn’t receive any payment for that publication. i quit the bank early in the year (finally! after 10 years!) and was terrified about money, in part because my student loan payments were coming out of deferment and i was still paying off my hospital bills from my breakdown.

in spring semester, i won a few departmental awards (totaling $500ish) and got a second story accepted (again, no payment). i also got accepted to another workshop which i will not name because i hated it. i graduated in may and defended my thesis in july. the thesis would later become my short story collection, zucchini.

in fall, i stayed on at my school as an adjunct, and started writing training wheels which would later become an original novel called baby.

i wrote 450k in 2018. i paid $373 in submission fees. i was also nominated for an award for one of my publications but didn’t win. the workshop i went to was like $4000 with room and board (it was a month-long workshop). i got 75% of it covered with scholarships and i paid for the rest of it out of my savings, and even though i’d intended to drive there, my mom ended up buying me a plane ticket. again, i met a lot of big-wig writers i thought for sure would help me get an agent. i told myself i was networking, and that publication was all about Who You Knew. but that turned out not to be true for me.

as an adjunct i made $3200 per course, and i taught 3 classes in fall. in winter, i got my shit together and started applying for creative writing PhDs, mostly to convince my family i was doing something with my life, with no expectation that i would get in. in winter i applied to 2 schools. with application fees and the GRE, i ended up paying well over $500.

2019, age 29

in spring semester, i taught 2 classes while i revised training wheels into baby. when i had a completed manuscript, i finally pulled the plug and used all my networking contacts to get my dream agent i’d met at tin house. i queried her, and a very popular and well-regarded author i’d met at the other workshop emailed her on my behalf to tell her good things about me. i thought for sure i had it in the bag. this author also touched base with a few other agents whom he thought would like my work.

i didn’t hear back from any of them. not even a “no thanks.” i set down querying for a while.

i got a third story picked up and published around this time, and i was paid $25 for it. they also nominated me for an award, and i don’t think i won? but i can’t find out who did win so idk.

my grandpa passed away and i decided to sell my house and move in with my grandma so she wouldn’t be alone. i got rejected from both PhD programs i applied to and decided to get a “real job” instead, and began applying for random positions that offered health insurance, because i knew i was drastically undermedicated and it was becoming a Problem.

near the end of spring semester, i moved out of my house, put it on the market, and was interviewing for a community development manager position for a nonprofit. at the same time, i found out about another university that was taking late-season applications, and i applied. five days later, i got accepted. one day after that, i got a job offer for the nonprofit. since i had no idea how long it would take for my house to sell, and being unable to afford both rent in a new city and my mortgage payment, i deferred my PhD acceptance for a year and decided to work at the nonprofit for a while. the risk was that i could only defer my admission, not my funding, so there was a chance that the following year i wouldn’t get the same funding package.

i lasted one month at the “real job” before i had another breakdown and ended up quitting.

my house sold for well under the asking price and i received only $4000 in equity once it was all said and done. that’s a lot of money to me, but considering that i’d been paying on the house for 7 years, i was expecting a lot more.

i had a year to kill until the PhD so i decided to take a break from teaching and apply to artist residencies instead. i applied to 8 residencies and got accepted into 4, but only ended up attending 3, because the 4th was outrageously priced and there was no indication of the cost when i had applied.

in winter i picked up querying agents again. i queried 10 agents every other week. i also got a ghostwriting gig writing children’s books that paid $800 a month.

in 2019 i wrote 417k. i spent $441 in submission fees (to residencies and contests, not agent queries. never pay money to query an agent!!). i ended up teaching 3 classes fall semester.

2020, age 30

i started out the year driving across the country going to residencies. the first cost $100 (no food), the second cost $250 (A LOT OF VERY GOOD FOOD), and the third paid me $500. i was at the third when the pandemic hit.

the query rejections started rolling in. i gave up in february after 60 queries. of those 60, i received 7 manuscript requests for baby, but the consensus was that it was too long and plotless (you got me there.jpg). at the second residency completed and revised zucchini and decided to begin querying with that instead. i could only find a few agents who accepted collections so i only queried 16. i got one request for the manuscript but then didn’t hear back. i gave up in april shortly after the pandemic hit.

when i figured the collection, like the novel, just wasn’t publishable, i started submitting to contests which is the more standard route for the genre. i submitted to 12 in total and was a finalist in 1. i was rejected or withdrew from the rest.

the PhD program reached out to ask if i was still interested in starting in fall, and i said i was, so they put me in the running for funding again and i was accepted. the stipend was $17k per academic year.

like most of us, i got totally derailed in spring and stopped doing basically everything. the ghostwriting gig started paying $1500 a month and i also started my creative coaching business, which slowly but surely began to supplement my income. i also received the $1200 stimulus.

when school started, i quit the ghostwriting gig. i had no intention to continue querying either book, but i saw a twitter pitch event called DVpit (diverse voices) and decided to participate. for those who don’t know, a twitter pitch event is where you tweet the pitch for your book and use the hashtag, and agents scroll through the tag and like tweets. if an agent likes your tweet, you query them.

i got one like, so i followed up with the query. the agent asked for the full MS and a couple weeks later followed up with the offer for representation. we talked on the phone, she sent me the contract, i asked for a couple changes, and then signed!

so far this year i’ve written 375k and paid $518 in submission fees. i’ll give more details when i do my end of year roundup next month. oh, and i finally paid off my student loans.

totals

word count: 2.3 million

agent queries: 77

agent MS requests: 9

agent rejections: 28

agent no responses: 44

short story submissions: 86

short story acceptances: 3

short story income: $25

total submission/application fees: $1472

my (final) query letter

honestly this query letter probably isn’t very good which is why i got such a minimal response, but it got the job done eventually.

Thank you for expressing interest in ZUCCHINI through this year's DVpit event.

ZUCCHINI is a collection that views sex through an asexual lens. It poses inquiries into constructs like gender, sexuality, and love to dissect the patriarchal/puritanical foundations from which our social perspectives often derive. Being a collection about asexuality, each story portrays a relationship that develops from forms of attraction other than physical.

In one story, a grieving widow purchases her first sex toy; in another, a woman uses sex to cope with the death of her abusive father, and later in the collection faces the long road to recovery; an administrative assistant seeks out a codependent relationship with her boss; a masochist hires a professional sadist to lead him toward self-actualization; a woman begins to recover from her sexual assault by staging a reenactment on her own terms; and lastly, two lifelong friends in a queerplatonic relationship decide to get married. Asexuality is an under-acknowledged identity within the LGBTQIA community and is often misunderstood. In seven stories, ZUCCHINI dissects the notion of attraction, explores the intersections of sexual identity and trauma recovery, and conveys the experience of intimacy without physical desire.

Three stories in the collection have been published in literary magazines. “Lien” appeared in volume 24 of Quarter After Eight and was nominated for the PEN/Robert J. Dau Short Story Prize for Emerging Writers. “An Informed Purchase” appeared in the summer 2018 issue of Midwestern Gothic and won the Jordan-Goodman Prize in Fiction. “The Ashtray” appeared in issue 16 of Rivet Journal and has been nominated for a 2020 Pushcart Prize.

Complete at 53,000 words, ZUCCHINI is a collection in conversation with Carmen Maria Machado’s HER BODY AND OTHER PARTIES, Lauren Groff’s FLORIDA, and Samantha Hunt’s THE DARK DARK.

If ZUCCHINI is of interest to you, I would be happy to send you the manuscript. Per your guidelines, I've appended the first twenty pages below, which is the entirety of the first story.

what comes next

i’m going to spend january revising the collection per my agent’s feedback. when i send it back to her, she’ll shoot it out to the first round of publishers. my understanding is that the goal is to get multiple offers on it so that it has to go to auction. if there are no offers, she’ll do another round of submissions, and so on, until we’ve exhausted our options. if that happens, we’ll reassess, but by then hopefully i’ll have another novel finished.

meanwhile, i’ll be continuing the PhD which entails teaching a 2/2, workshop, and 2 lit seminars per semester. i’m also still doing my creative coaching, writing fanfic, and working on my original projects. in summer, i’ll finally be moving to hopefully start going to school in person next fall.

the PhD is a 3 year program with an optional fourth year. i don’t see myself finishing in 3 years so i do plan to take the extra year unless something comes up. after the PhD, i’m not sure what i’ll do. a lot will probably change by then so i’m trying not to commit to one idea. i might apply to post-doc fellowships and tenure track positions, or i might leave the country and teach overseas, or i might move to LA and try to get in a writer’s room somewhere. i’ve got a lot of options.

overall thoughts/stuff i learned

first of all, you don’t have to go through all of this to publish a book. you could feasibly just write a book and query agents. the only reason it took me this long is because my PTSD brain was sabotaging me every step of the way and i didn’t start taking anything seriously until i found something i was willing to fight for (teaching). i went the MFA/literary route but other, faster routes are just as good. maybe better. probably better. actually if there’s any chance you can go a different route, you should take it.

reflecting on all of this, very little of it has anything to do with talent or being a good writer. nor does it have to do with being at the right place at the right time. i’ve only made it this far because i took very small steps over and over again, and during that walk met people who could help me -- the authors who have mentored me, the editors who accepted my stories, the agent who signed me. and as i got further along my path, i started being able to help other writers in the way i was helped.

i don’t believe i’ll ever be a great writer. the best thing i can say about my writing is that it’s competent and accessible. everything i write sets out to do something and most of the time it gets the job done. i don’t imagine i’ll ever be able to financially support myself with publishing, and i’ll certainly never be famous or well-known, but i’m good enough to keep making progress. i’ll probably continue to find opportunities that are adjacent to writing and that will keep me afloat, pending my health and provided the country doesn’t devolve into civil war.

probably the most important thing i learned in all this is that having a wide appeal isn’t the goal. you don’t write to be lauded or liked. you have to stay as true to yourself and your interests as you possibly can, so that the people who come across your path can see you and help you. you’ll need those people; no one gets anywhere alone. if you pander, if you’re too concerned with praise and success or being adored, you won’t make it very far. the rejection will eventually kill you.

with all that said, my advice to you is this: never stop writing. the ability to share our stories is the single most precious thing we have. you can’t let anything stop you from telling your stories the way you need them to be told.

#writing advice #the writing life #writing update

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