#living a queer life

[sequencefairy]

I hope this isn’t too much to ask, but I really value your opinions on being bisexual in a monogamous relationship. If it’s not a big deal, how do you deal with bi-cycling? Or if your into women more than men at any particular moment?

Anon, beloved, I am choosing to take this as if you are asking with good intentions, because it could definitely come across as you trying to imply that being a bisexual woman, I am inherently unable to commit to monogamy given my ~slutty bisexual nature~, which is not a good look, to be honest.

So, having said that, I think that there's two things here:

Being in a monogamous relationship with a partner is a result of ongoing conversations with that partner and what we both want out of the relationship and our boundaries within it. This means, in practice, that monogamy is a commitment I am making to my partner, and he to me. This is not tied, necessarily, to my being queer or to him not being queer. In theory, if not in practice at this time, I consider myself polyamorous, which is definitely part of my larger identity as a person who is queer, but committing to monogamy in the interior of my relationship is a choice I am making in service of the commitment I have made to my partner. If we decide to change that in the future, it will involve many more conversations than the ones we have had up until this point.

I had to go look up what bi-cycling was, to be honest with you! From what I understand, it's the notion that for bisexual folks, their attraction to various genders fluctuates over time - sometimes being attracted to one gender more than another, and cycling through them. It doesn't happen for everyone, and also doesn't mean that the person is not attracted to any gender of person at any one time. So, that was interesting to learn! Personally, for me, I typically feel about an equal amount of attraction to folks of various genders. I don't spend a lot of time, personally, worrying about the division of my various lusts, because it's not important to me to know the ratio of how many men I am attracted to vs how many non-binary people vs how many women. I don't find it useful to analyze this and come up with some kind of percentage or whatever, because it doesn't change anything for me. The key thing, for me, in my relationship, is that I have made a commitment to my partner and that I love him, and that while I may be attracted to other people from time to time, managing that is not any different for me as a queer person than it would be for anyone else who is in a committed, monogamous relationship with another person. I don't act on my attractions to other people because that would contravene the established parameters of my relationship and I don't want to do that, because I love him and our relationship is something that sustains me and fulfills me and that I don't want to damage. I think being worried about fluctuating attraction inside a relationship is valid, but attraction fluctuates in ALL relationships. No one is immune to this. It's part of being in a relationship with someone. You choose, over and over, every day, to continue to be with your person, reaffirming the commitment you made, and the one they've made to you. If you, at some point, are no longer willing to make that choice, and remain committed, then the relationship needs to be re-evaluated, and perhaps, at that point, it isn't the kind of relationship you want any longer, and maybe you need to release yourselves from it.

I hope this helps!

#jess answers #anonymouse #living a queer life #other folks who are in monog relationships as bisexual people feel free to chime in #i don't think i'm an expert #there are as many ways to do bisexuality as there are people who are bisexual #so if someone does it differently than i do #i'd love to learn more!

[1982brucespringsteen]

some good news!! the spanish state's ministry of equality has finally passed one of the most progressive trans laws on the planet, shielded free and universal access to abortion and banned conversion therapy and genital surgery for intersex babies, among a lot of other feminist policies. the minister of equality irene montero gave a speech thanking spain's lgtb and trans associations for helping her draft these legislations. couldn't be more proud!!

#spain #trans #ill always prioritize queer&trans revolution over reformism but man. man these are good news #these are gonna make people's life so much more comfortable #i was lucky enough to live in andalucia where we have THEE most advanced regional legislation on trans rights #so i didnt have to fight too many people to access hrt and to change my name on legal docs #but other ppl on the spanish state have been suffering so fucking much #and yeah this law doesnt cover non binary people or migrants but the door is fucking open. its a step forward #and after this terrible terrible week #after the antitrans antisemite game & brianna's murder and so many rampant transphobia #it feels nice to get a win #to have someone in power be so unwaveringly supportive #the queer community in the spanish state is NEVER gonna forget this. never #anyways!!! #felicidades gente trans española!!!! nos vemos en el registro civil dkkskdkkdkxkdk #mine

[your-subby-creature]

Tdick is literally a gift from the gods. You agree wholeheartedly and with gusto.

#low energy creatureposting #Creature Originals #creature rambles #turns out that freud paper isnt due until next week so i can stop losing my mind!! joy of joys #also idk if my tdick grew again or what but that little guy is really living his best life #hes so...omnipresent and sensitive #straight vibing and vibin #if you will #trans bd/sm #ftm kink #ftm sub #trans sub #queer bd/sm #trans ns/fw #trans nsft #ftm nsft #tdick #bd/sm kink #transmasc nsft

[uncanny-tranny]

Begging, begging, begging people to stop associating aging and femininity in men/masculine people as Wrong and Predatory. Femininity has no age limit.

To any feminine man, masculine person, or really, anybody who needs to hear this: Your femininity deserves to be recognized and celebrated. Aging is a natural and unique part of life, and you don't have to sacrifice your femininity for fear of being "too old" to be accepted or seen as charming. You are already charming.

There is no limit to being who you are. No matter what you're told, you still deserve to completely claim yourself.

#queer #gender nonconformity #gnc #lgbt #lgbtq #not just about queerness since femininity in men/masculine folks isn't inherently queer... #...but there is a venn diagram of feminine men/folks and queerness if you get what i mean #this even goes out to every cisallohet man who Wants to be feminine and yet feels scared and limited :) (genuine) #aging is NOT antithetical to femininity. you are NOT predatory and you don't need to 'grow out' of your authentic expression #every time i see an old fem man out living his best life i want to actually ascend to heaven (in the best way) #and i will become his protector. if anybody THINKS about being mean to him for being feminine i WILL fus ro dah them to hell

[the-nothing-maker]

Heartache

(my piece for NovaMali's "Classics but Make it Gay 3" ! Inspired by illuminated Bibles Moralisées from the 1200s/1300s and their depictions of same-sex love - couples enlacing under the watchful eye of protective demons. A highly emotional piece for me...

If you're interested in learning more about it, you can snatch the zine over on NovaMali's shop !! I highly recommend it, it's an absolutely gorgeous book ! : https://www.novaandmali.com/shop)

#traditional art #classics but make it gay #queer art #pride month #lesbian art #my art #i have lots of thoughts about growing up/living your life with very limited visions of what queer love feels like !!!!!!

[suchawrathfullamb]

if you ever see a gay ass line in the script that got cut off and you wonder "why did they left that out??" homophobia, it's homophobia. the answer is always homophobia. oh and censorship but those go hand in hand in the industry.

#gen z might be shocked cause you live in a bubble but real life ain't the inclusive and queer internet world you live in SPECIALLY back then #but always and no its not better it's just a illusion of betterment #but it was definitely worse #now it simply looks less worse lol #hannigram #nbc hannibal #hannibal #will graham #murder husbands #hannibal lecter

[apolline-lucy]

POV: you’re on a date in a coffee shop in seoul with your favourite fictional queer character. she’s a liar, but one thing that’s true is that she’s obsessed with you.

THE ANATOMY OF DYING

#books #book recommendations #book review #living in Seoul #life in Korea #sapphic #sapphic books #writers supporting writers #authors supporting authors #wlw books #queer books #lgbt books #sapphic romance #living in korea #coffee shop #booklr #seoul cafe #Seoul Life #writing #studyblr #study motivation #studyspo #korean studyblr #studying korean #korean life #korean langblr #South Korea #indie books #indie author #kindle books

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

community that has only seen themselves represented in a small handful of romance stories that aren’t explicitly about their real-world oppression, watching a new show or movie where they are represented in a romantic story that isn’t explicitly about their real-world oppression: getting a lot of “that other show with a queer romance that isn’t explicitly about real-world homophobia” vibes from this

#ofmd #our flag means death #good omens #good omens 2 #gentlebeard #blackbeard #aziracrow #txt #og #mine #listen i love pattern recognition as much as the next person but please. please. #the similarities between ed/stede and azi/crow are SURFACE LEVEL #the relationship dynamics are VERY DIFFERENT #one is opposite sides of a war and sworn enemies whose lives are dedicated to The Mission who accidentally fall in love #the other one is two incredibly lonely men who have never had a real friend meeting each other later in life and becoming instant besties #they’re not the same!!! AND THIS IS A GOOD THING!!!!!!!!!! #like do y’all really want all your queer romances to be the same goddamn dynamic over and over again????? #that’s stupid! you should want your diverse romances to be DIVERSE!!!! #go/ofmd both have fancy silly blond man paired with a goth who wears dark clothes #and they both had. very tragic end-of-season cliffhangers due to the blond man’s internalized emotional hangups #but stede/azi are very different characters. and it’s ed/crowley are also very different characters #and their romances! are very different from each other!!!!! #i GET why the comparisons are being made but man they’re getting annoying lol

[soapskneebrace]

Friendly reminder to everyone that fiction with shocking, dark, gruesome, or otherwise unpleasant content is not inherently harmful to read, write, or otherwise interact with. Lolita is one of the most disturbing books out there, and not only is it taught in most undergrad lit courses, a whole genre of under-25 girlies have made it their whole personality and blog theme.

UNFRIENDLY reminder that you do not actually have any moral right to publicly call someone out for enjoying dark and disturbing content. You do not have any ethical justification for putting someone on blast as a potential risk when you have no proof they have harmed anyone. You cannot claim that a given individual represents a danger to others when they freely and often express that their work could cause distress and should be avoided by people sensitive to it.

We call that McCarthyism in common parlance, or witch hunts if you’re feeling spicy. Neither practices have, historically, effected much in the way of justice.

#babes you need to evaluate fic with the lens of kink okay? #the author consented to write it and you give your consent to read it by…reading it #there are no living parties actually being exploited #also the things real life queers fantasize about would put coquettes in psychiatric hospitals just saying

[nychthemeron-rants]

Ok, so IDK how canon the ages we have for when the Hazbin crew died is, but it has been giving me massive fucking brainrot.

But not only that, but also the match up of their ages and the eras in which they died.

There was a point in time where Alastor, Angel Dust, and Husk were all alive at the same time.

Assuming "mid-30's" means 35, it means that since Angel died in 1947, he was born in 1912.

Husk dying at 75 in the 70's means he was born in the 1900's or maybe even the late 1890's.

Alastor being in his 40's when he died in 1933 means he was born in the 1890's (roughly)

So from 1912 (ish), to 1933 all 3 were alive at the same time.

At the time of Alastor's death: Alastor was in his 40's, Husk was in his mid 30's to maybe early 40's, and Angel (or rather Anthony as we know his human name) was about 21.

Also all 3 experienced the great depression. Husk and Angel experienced WW2. Theres a chance they both fought in the fucking war!

#angel in particular gives me brain rot because now knowing he was a 30 something in the late 40's #he gives me the vibe of a man who was repressed as fuck in life (and considering he was a 1940's mobster that tracks) #and now revels in the freedom modern sensibilities give him to be as flamboyantly queer and dress as feminine as he wants now in public #i wonder if he went to queer ballrooms in life #a lot had mob connections or were mob run because they were illegal #but also Husk living through the bulk of the 1900's is insane #no wonder dude is as gruff as he is #man has had a LIFE #hazbin hotel #hazbin #angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #husker hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel

[clowndensation]

louis, lestat, and their single bed as a motif louis puts into his own story, but refuses to explore, is literally one of the sexiest parts of the show. it speaks volumes about a level of fulfillment and freedom that louis feels by being with lestat that he rarely explicitly comments on when he's relaying his story to daniel, which feels extremely relevant to his overall reluctance to examine the parts of his relationship with lestat that he really enjoyed.

because louis is a character who's hyper aware of how he presents himself. he's lived his entire life projecting a certain masculine, heteronormative image, and he's aware of how deviating from that presentation has implications that impact how people view him - from enjoying the opera, to the presentation of his nails. the fact that he moves in with lestat and neither of them ever put a second bed into any room in the house as a level of plausible deniability is so huge and oversight by so cautious a character, it can only be read as deliberate - especially when the conspicuous lack of a second bed is pointed out to them by both antoinette and a literal police officer. in an existence where you don't sleep in a bed, the bed becomes a symbolic object more so than a practical one. it's louis choosing to deliberately transgress against the societal expectations he lives out when he leaves his house, a bit of presentation that actually amplifies his truth as a gay man living with his partner, rather than masking or hiding himself, like he does for the outside world.

#literally imagine the satisfaction and euphoria in having one place where you can purposely present yourself as gay #where you can look at your own personal space and go 'it looks like a gay man lives here' and feel safe and accepted in that #i feel similarly about the way lestat touches louis tbh #especially as viewed through claudia's diaries #there's an openness to the way louis and lestat behave around each other that their status (of being rich and being vampires) #grants them that louis hasn't really gotten the chance to explore before #and they still can't be blatant about their queerness obviously #but they get away with significantly more than louis has ever allowed himself in his human life #there is an incredible amount of relief and joy in having a partner who isn't ashamed to touch you #and you can see louis feel that #it's one of my favorite pieces of the narrative threaded through the entire story #rarely commented on but still blatant for how encompassing queer love can be #iwtv

[sequencefairy]

Hi, I hope this is okay to ask. If not, totally okay! I am recently becoming comfortable with my attraction to women and bisexuality. However, I am also in a relationship with a cis man I care about and love very much. Can I ask about your journey and becoming comfortable with your sexuality within the context of your relationship?

Big question, I love it. Thank you for asking.

So, my partner and I have been together since I was 18, which was well before I really started interrogating my sexuality and what that meant for me. I grew up Catholic, with Conservative-leaning family, especially regarding social issues, so I never really knew there were options other than being straight.

Looking back, I definitely had some very intense friendships with girlfriends in highschool that probably should have clued me in earlier, but I didn't know it was an option and I liked boys just fine, so I figured everyone had girls they wanted to sit really close to and whose hair they wanted to touch, and clearly I enjoyed kissing boys, ergo I was straight.

When my partner and I moved in together in my third year of university, that was when I started to wonder about my sexuality and what being queer meant, especially as someone who was and continues to be in love with a cisgendered dude, and is generally monogamous. I looked at my attraction to women and my attraction to my partner, and looked at our relationship, wondering if I was missing something in it, and wondering if I wanted something he couldn't give me. I worried a lot about whether it was like, the seven year itch, or a quarter life crisis brought on by swapping majors in university and narrowly avoiding a nervous breakdown. I wondered if I was just imagining things, or if I was just being influenced by being around out, proud queer people on the regular as part of being a volunteer at the women's center on campus. I wondered if I should say anything, to anyone, or if I should just keep it to myself forever, suppressing the desires I realised I'd been feeling for such a long time, now. I wondered if my friends would still like me. I wondered if I would have to come out to my family. I wondered if my partner would leave me. I wondered if we would survive this revelation I was having about myself.

It was a scary thing to think about. I could lose someone I loved very much and who I knew loved me, and whose life was entwined with mine. But I also knew that he was a good person, and a kind person - I wouldn't have been with him otherwise, so I had to trust that he would see this not as a threat, but as a deepening of our intimacy and so, in the end, I decided I couldn't keep it to myself. I couldn't go on pretending I was something I wasn't.

It's been a journey, really - I had to come out to myself, and then to the people around me who mattered and who I needed to love all of me and not just the most public bits. I came out to my partner fairly early on, and it was a bit fraught! I was worried he'd not take it well - and initially, to be honest, it was a touchy thing between us! We've grown so much as a couple since then though, that now it's just a part of me that he accepts and celebrates and acknowledges.

I still, many years on, struggle with being queer enough because I'm passably straight, and don't outwardly 'Look Queer:tm:' so people just make assumptions. Even though I'm pretty loudly out online, I'm a little less out in real life. I work in a professional corporate setting, my parents are still Conservative, the community I live in is very rural, etc., which all adds up to not always feeling safe to be out and so I maintain my stealth mode a lot.

But, the crux of it all for me, is that my relationship is queer because I am in it. I am queer regardless of who I am or am not dating. I love my partner, and I intend to keep on loving him until we are old and grey and buried, and my being queer is just a part of me as the person who my partner loves. I fell in love with him before I was out to myself, and maybe, in another life, I'd have met a woman I loved first, or figured it out sooner, or or or - but I don't live those other lives, I live this one, and in it, I love him, and he loves me, and I'm queer, and that's enough.

Welcome to the journey, beloved. It's a lifelong one, and we all do it at our own pace. There's no right or wrong way to be queer, there's only the way you are.

#jess answers #anonymouse #living a queer life #i hope this helps nonny!

[hammity-hammer]

steve harrington realizing that he’s got no purpose if he’s not protecting the people he loves from outer-dimensional beings, and has a minor (read: major) spiral about it post-vecna & the party fixing everything. he’s just a regular ole 20 something with no purpose— his friends are all in school, except eddie, who managed to pick up an apprenticeship as an electrician; putting all of that wire knowledge to use (just not in cars, he hasn’t hotwired one since 1986 and he’d like to keep it that way si vous plais) and making the rich houses have even cooler guts than they deserve.

the kids end up graduating (their first tries) and heading as one little pack to the same school (don’t ask me which, i’m a college drop out) and steve, eddie, and rob end up staying just outside of indy. rob finished school early, because of course she did, and she found that she may have a knack for hanging around high schoolers, so why not teach them how to become polyglots like she is?

steve still doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing— he bartends at a little club in the gayborhood, because they went there so often that the bartenders just kind of pushed him into it, and don’t get him wrong— mixing drinks and flirting all night is super fun, but it also… is kind of depressing? even if he gets to be around people like him and see them happy— he knows that a lot of alcohol and drugs causes that happiness and he wants so badly for his people to be out and proud and not murdered for it. but he can’t do that,, so he does the next best thing.

he talks with one of the regulars, andy, who owns a little tattoo shop on the corner, and andy invites him to come check it out. so he does the next day he’s free, and holy fucking christ. tattoos aren’t his thing— at least not on himself, but on other people they’re gorgeous. and they’re painful, but you’re turning the pain into art and you get to live with it in your skin and look at it and think about the fact that you’re here and you made it and you fucking survived. and people purposefully put scars into their bodies? and not in the i-battled-literal-other-dimensional-beings-and-won kind of way, or the i-battled-my-personal-demons-and-won kind of way, which both are things he’s dealt with so fucking intimately— but in the i-will-decorate-this-flesh-prison-and-make-it-a-castle kind of way, and that’s fucking beautiful. queer people taking their bodies and making them into art with ink and hot metal and needles and the love that they have for each other and the passion and the fucking spite at the world that keeps them going and making their presences KNOWN.

and maybe he gets some piercings while he’s there— it’s fascinating and feels so weird and freeing when the needle punctures his flesh and the jewelry goes in— and now he’s got a shiny little ring hanging through his earlobe; his nostril; his lip.

he learns that piercings take time and effort and care and that he has to treat himself with love to be able to heal— and that he is deserving of that love and care and dedication, especially from himself.

he keeps going back, maybe not always to get stabbed, but to watch others have it done. to see how different people’s anatomy takes different piercings, how he can’t have a piercing through his cheeks because he bites them too much when he’s anxious, but the girl that just left got both of hers done and they looked good. they fit her face, like little shiny dimples.

eventually, the piercer, killie, asks steve when he’s going to help them with their needles and their piercings— and he doesn’t know how to react because he hadn’t even thought about it and yet… maybe he could help other people fall in love with themselves and their bodies and help turn them into art one day

maybe he could be a pretty boy with his scars and his metal and his missing chunks and his polos and his jeans and his sneakers.

#steve harrington #i just love him your honor #steve as a piercer would be so cute #piercer!steve #im obsessed with this and sent ro a 5 minute long voice memo today talking about him #because he is near and dear to myheart #as someone that got into piercing to help other people feel beautiful #i think that he would love this #and i absolutely think that he wouldnt know what the fuck to do post vecna #and get jealous that everyone else has a thing #and he doesnt have one #because all of his things were always things he shared #and this is one thing that he shares— but not with his friends #just with the people that own the lives that he’s changing #one stabbing at a time #also queer people in the 80s are the reason we even have the modern day piercing industry and i owe them my life #and the piercer’s name is inspired by the person that pierced my lobes when i was five #and my mom indeed has dimple piercings #so those are my little art inspired by life or whatever moments

[pansylair]

work from this year’s pride art show at my local gallery 3/5

❣️top surgery❣️

cone 6 stoneware, underglaze, glaze.

#queer art #ceramics #sculpture #top surgery #trans #nonbinary #gnc #lgbt #typing this up i just got slammed by the memory of learning my top surgeon was playing overwatch comp in 2019 bdbxbfb #i got top surgery in 2018 #hope he’s living his gamer surgeon best life still

[grumpytrans]

lose weight if you want to look like a he/they

fuck you im hot asf

#unless you've seen me irl which is unlikely as i live in a small area you must've dug reeeeeal deep to see anything other than a selfie #either way im sorry you lead such a sad life that you took time out of your day to send this #get well soon? #trans #queer #nonbinary #lgbt #lgbtq #cute #trans pride #pride #he/they #enby #anon #anonymous

[patron-saint-of-lesbeans]

Very interesting (concerning) that while there’s a general consensus of “of course there’s queer Muslims and Jews and Christians we love them!” But that love is conditional. You can be religious but not too religious. You can be spiritual as long as it’s not actually that important to you. You can be observant of your religion’s dogma and traditions as long as you keep it away from everybody else.

But I don’t want to cut myself into smaller pieces. I don’t want to take a part of my life and culture and being and hide it away behind closed doors. It’s just…hypocritical and disappointing when people, who clamor about their love for the contradictory and self-authentic, hate when they’re confronted with it.

#tower of babble #catholic #lgbt #side b #sorry I saw a very good post pointing out the way queer Jews are often cited with the caveat that they’re not observant Jews #and how there are queer observant Jews but I didn’t want to derail so I made my own post #because fuckin hell how often do you see white queers telling queer Muslim women to stop wearing their hibjabi (unless it’s for ~cultural~ #purposes). it’s disgusting and demeaning to assume queer people don’t have deeply meaningful spiritual lives. #side b Christians 🤝 observant queer Jews 🤝 devout queer Muslims #me. happily trans and gay: I’m so happy and blessed to have this body and life - #homo/transphobes: you’re going to hell you’re evil you’re stupid you’re faking it #me: huh. oh. um. well I’m still blessed because I know you are not speaking with Christ in your heart- #a surprising number of self proclaimed radicals: uhhhh please don’t acknowledge that you’re Christian it makes us. uncomfortable. #me: …being uncomfortable and confused about others is the pride of Pride? the queer community thrives on contradiction and self definition? #anyways. prof put my pronouns down as he/she/they on the syllabus and I am popping the biggest gender affirming bottles tonight #(praying a chaplet and eating rice like the grad student peasant I am)