#lookingbetterthanifeel

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Excruciating Pain

I’m in excruciating pain, so bad I can barely sleep. It’s pain I cannot even begin to describe. It’s tough trying to sleep when I should be sleeping, during the day I’m in agony that I end up having to take painkillers and sleep the pain off to some nice relaxing music or just complete silent meditation.

Tomorrow Mummy Sue is taking me to pick up my shoe, I have another being amended to balance my leg descrepencies and it’s going to be nice to have new shoes to wear. The black lace shoes I had to throw away, they were falling apart, and holes in them meant that I was tripping up a lot.

It’s great being able to now afford to pay for shoes, thanks to PIP enabling me to have new shoes for purpose and health. Oh I cannot describe how much I am looking forward to picking my newest ones that are ready. I have had to wear my winter boots as I only have them at the moment. So it will be nice to have lighter shoes, and be able to walk around properly.

It’s very tough being on benefits and trying to have some positive and future vision for myself but I am aware that I have to accept I need the help and support. I am disabled. And whether anyone can see it or not I am in pain, moreso than many could bear and yet I contain my dignity. It’s not an admirable thing to think oneself above claiming disability benefits it’s stupid. It’s been put there to help those in need whether they ‘appear to deserve them’ or not. I see a record number of folk using walking sticks and wheelchairs, all to be pious and be ‘woe is me’ kind of ‘evidence’ that they’re disabled. To many it’s just an accessory to project the image of “I’m disabled” it makes it harder for me to express that I am disabled and in pain because it’s seen as a necessity for ‘disabled people’ to have to be seen blatantly to seem disabled when many aren’t as suffering as I am they’re just knowing they have to have a walking stick or some crutch or wheelchair to ‘prove’ their disability.

And then there are those who are in genuine need but deny themselves benefits due to pride and piety to prove they don’t want to upset or degrade themselves to have to claim benefits, but what they don’t realise is how hard it is to be awarded disability benefits and how long it can take. Well each to their own, but this degeneration of benefits claimants and the consequential humiliation one has to go through under this government’s current criminalisation of disabled people and those in need is only perpetuated by that attitude. It’s sad. It’s degrading. It has to stop.

#welfare #PIP #ESA #personal independence payment #disabilities #disabled #lookingbetterthanifeel

[blacklaceonsweat1]

If you can't handle me at my worst, I don't blame you... I'm moody psychopathic bitch who needs attention 24/7, sex, and to be left the hell alone. Have fun figuring out the recipe ❤️👌🏻 #nofilter #nofilterhaircolor #lookingbetterthanifeel #smileevenifithurts #firstglassesselfie #glasses #alexperryglasses #defleppardjacket #defleppardbandshirt #tattooedgirls #inkedgirls #alternativegirl #pravanviolet #piercingsandtattoos #monroepiercing #doublenosepiercing #ifeltprettytoday #selflove #whenitsallfallingaprtbepossitive

#lookingbetterthanifeel #selflove #firstglassesselfie #doublenosepiercing #defleppardjacket #whenitsallfallingaprtbepossitive #nofilterhaircolor #alexperryglasses #inkedgirls #glasses #monroepiercing #pravanviolet #smileevenifithurts #alternativegirl #defleppardbandshirt #tattooedgirls #nofilter #ifeltprettytoday #piercingsandtattoos

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I have to say to get where I am now I didn’t realise what was happening or how things could work out, it’s really obvious that God’s Plan has had so much worked out for me with my life path. I feel honoured to be on this journey and to have a great virtual mentor in Lisa Nichols and so many people and organisations to lead me to where I am right now. I think I need a book to line up and list all those who helped me on this journey. God has our back covered for recovering no matter what that ‘recovery’ process may take.

#lookingbetterthanifeel #art #angeladawnwright #artist #love #journey #motivating the masses #lisa nichols #susie carder #mums #family #bestlaidplans #beyourself #recovering #mental health #books #writing #speakandwrite2018 #mindvalley

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Bipolar Adapting

I’m recovering from a big high with my bipolar it’s “catching up with myself time” and recalibrating from having all that energy and drama taking over me. I have more lows than highs always have. It’s a case of go with the flow and adapt.

#bipolar #bipolar blog #mental illness #mentalhealthawareness #depression #highs #highs and lows #reflecting #beingmyself #hellow #june 2018 #real life #livingwithbipolar #howbenefitgalworks #go slow #modes #moods #blues #likethinkingthroughtreacle #lookingbetterthanifeel #angeldawnwright

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#nofilterneeded #nofilter #artist #suffolk #studio #artiststudio #positivevibes #lookingbetterthanifeel #howbenefitgalworks #angeldawnwright #angeladawnwright #art #creativity #makingart #smile #selfie #artistselfie #asylumstudiosuk (at Asylum Studios)

#makingart #asylumstudiosuk #lookingbetterthanifeel #positivevibes #howbenefitgalworks #selfie #studio #suffolk #creativity #nofilterneeded #angeldawnwright #angeladawnwright #smile #nofilter #art #artistselfie #artiststudio #artist

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#nofilterneeded #nofilter #artist #suffolk #studio #artiststudio #positivevibes #lookingbetterthanifeel #howbenefitgalworks #angeldawnwright #angeladawnwright #art #creativity #makingart #smile #selfie #artistselfie (at Asylum Studios)

#suffolk #makingart #nofilterneeded #artiststudio #smile #art #artist #angeladawnwright #lookingbetterthanifeel #howbenefitgalworks #creativity #nofilter #positivevibes #angeldawnwright #selfie #artistselfie #studio

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#moonfilter #howbenefitgalworks #angeladawnwright #selfie #weekendvibes #artist #lookingbetterthanifeel (at Ipswich, Suffolk)

#moonfilter #weekendvibes #howbenefitgalworks #artist #lookingbetterthanifeel #angeladawnwright #selfie

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#selfie #guiding #home #smile #lookingbetterthanifeel #peace #spreadthelove #love #prosperity #hope #faith #sweet #nice #benice #kind #bekind #bekindtoyourself #bekindtooneanother (at Ipswich, Suffolk)

#prosperity #love #peace #spreadthelove #kind #guiding #hope #sweet #selfie #faith #bekindtoyourself #benice #home #nice #lookingbetterthanifeel #smile #bekindtooneanother #bekind

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#seaside #seasideselfie #bluesky #smile #lookingbetterthanifeel #goodtimes #felixstowe #suffolk (at Felixstowe) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoPrFWunzQx/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1x1v22iinlm8k

#seaside #seasideselfie #bluesky #smile #lookingbetterthanifeel #goodtimes #felixstowe #suffolk

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Relief

It has been such a very big relief to have in the bank the PIP that has been awarded to me, I can at last get another shoe amended so that I can continue walking and trying to literally get on with my daily living. Oh I cannot express what a relief it is.

The whole time has been made more difficult by certain matters. I am not a criminal, I am ill and disabled. Whether anyone would judge me without knowing facts, is not in my control, what I am struggling with no-one but I can know, and what I am able to express and attempt to help others understand. Unfortunately I suffer with many issues, and have done for much of my life. I have struggled to manage and not got much better, times are going to be made a little better to manage. 

Thank you Lord, thank you DWP and HMCTS, we have all tried to make best and do what is right and this is going to help me a lot to deal with my care and welfare.

#disability benefits #disabled #disability #lookingbetterthanifeel

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#selfie #lookingbetterthanifeel had a productive time at the studio. My intention today was to embrace company with #joy #thankyouuniverse #napoleonhill #makingartmakingmoney #smile #nofilter #nofilterneeded (at Ipswich, Suffolk) https://www.instagram.com/p/BneuIUkHXYB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=sft7gmuziwby

#selfie #lookingbetterthanifeel #joy #thankyouuniverse #napoleonhill #makingartmakingmoney #smile #nofilter #nofilterneeded

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I gave this advice to someone and realise it’s something I know all too well

You are enough. You are lovely the folk who can’t cope with their own negativity are just going to have to deal with it themselves it does not reflect on you. These people cannot deal with their own shortcomings. You don’t have to settle for that crap. You shine and stand up tall. You always appear to me to be a loving genuine generous person and a loving family member and head of family. You rock!!!! Much love always xxx

Let them stew in their own rubbish and sort their own shit out. We are all on a journey. They won’t learn from their journey if you accept that crap. Don’t take any rubbish from anyone just look at them in the eye and see within them a scared and sad person buried in un-dealt-with stuff they have to sort out themselves. What they see in you is someone who can so they immediately throw it onto you. Just reject the crap it’s not yours. “Not my Monkeys Not My Circus”

#angeladawnwright #artist #disabled #disability benefits #disability #disabilities #mental hell #mental illness #bipolar #bipolar disorder #empowertruth #empowerment #journey #love one another #advice #experience #lookingbetterthanifeel #don’t trash #real life #lifelearners

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Well this is just the beginning and much much more to follow.....

#art #angeladawnwright #wayartsandcommunications #education #howthisgalworks #future #bright future #lookingbetterthanifeel #doing what you love #doing what I love #creative industries #creative #artist #artists

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Benefit Blues

#howbenefitgalworks #benefits #health #wellbeing #oh well #lala #angeladawnwright #geek girl #artist #lookingbetterthanifeel #jeremy corbyn #DWP #DWP paperwork #knees #pain #agony #illness #bipolardisorder #vlog #hbgw #mentally ill

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Jeremy Corbyn: “I am supporting Seni’s Law to protect mental health patients in custody and mental health units.” When I was in mental hospital I, a lightweight 26 year old was held down by big guys and forcibly injected with a drug to ‘calm me down’ or rather drug me into a state I had no idea what was happening. I had three men, and someone holding my hands down behind my back it was terrifying and traumatic. I was in a very vulnerable state. It should have been handled better. There should be better training and ways to help patients who are no longer able to communicate or function with society and social norms. There’s got to be better ways. I had not committed a crime, I, at the time believed I had been put down and dead. I’m still suffering with the psychosis and that, and the brain damage caused by so much violence as a young little girl from family. the petition: https://senis-law.com

#senislaw #force #undue force #violence #against violence #mental hospital #change the system #mental illness #committed no crime #psychosis #childhood trauma #brain damage #domestic violence #dead #the walking dead #lookingbetterthanifeel #howbenefitgalworks #angeladawnwright

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#selfie #selfiee #howbenefitgalworks #conqueredtoday #lookingbetterthanifeel #smile #hope #believe #believeinyourself #angeladawnwright #beautywithin #love #loveyourself #badass #youareabadass #youarebadass #keepthatshitup (at Ipswich, Suffolk)

#loveyourself #selfiee #love #beautywithin #selfie #youarebadass #badass #howbenefitgalworks #youareabadass #believeinyourself #keepthatshitup #smile #believe #conqueredtoday #lookingbetterthanifeel #angeladawnwright #hope