#me: please just let me do my maths revision

[thursdayg1rl]

you know it’s bad when I’m already trying to get out of going to school on Wednesday

#just so fucking tired rn #today I just have a test then I can go #Wednesday is only maths and not only that but single maths and we’re studying number theory which is lightwork #but I was thinking I’d go to the library and grind tmua #bc they have this book for entrance exams that you can’t take out #I think I do need to do that bc you know if I stay home I won’t do anything #this has to be the most dedicated I’ve ever been to studying do people actually live like this … #even in my insanity era in year 10 I wouldn’t have done that #but I really need to do well in tmua #please god just let me get a 7 what do I have to do… #ok need to revise for this maths test now #had a nightmare I forgot the second order differential forms for the particular integral. and I have !

[muniimyg]

NAKED // KNJ

note to self: take baths alone from now on

+

in which nam joon takes any and every opportunity to see you naked

pairing: boyfriend nam joon + oc 

au/genre:

(new) established relationship

non-idol au

fluff, crack, and smut

warnings:

explicit langauge and behaviour ...

cockwarming & riding,, some titty grabbing & basic ass position changes

THEY SAY ILY FOR THE FIRST TIME :D

note: originally posted on @/meowachi ,, revised !!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @prdshobi @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns

The water is colder than you expected. 

Your body reacts with goosebumps to which you let out a shiver. Maybe you took too much time getting everything ready that you missed this bath water’s prime temperature… Guess you didn’t girl-math this right. 

Oh well. 

There’s always next time, right?

Thankfully, his bare body holding yours makes it easier to adjust. He nuzzles his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist, not missing the chance to hold your breasts for a moment. You scold him as if it’s second nature and he leaves a trail of kisses up and down your neck as an apology. 

Then, you take this moment in. Honestly, setting up music was a good idea. Along with the scented candles, the bubbles in your bath, the bath lavender bath bomb, and the bath salts—all such amazing details. Everything would’ve been perfect if only Nam Joon wasn’t complaining every five seconds. 

“I hate baths.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“The bath salts went up my ass—”

Finally, you shush him.

“Please,” he cries, “can we fuck?”

Rolling your eyes, you raise your hand and flick him with your fingers. He purses his lips and shuts his eyes in response. Nam Joon sighs, feeling defeated for the nth time tonight. Prior to this bath, he had suggested shower sex. To which, you argued you’d be too afraid to try since you’re as clumsy as they come… And he himself… Well, it was nice of him to ask.

It’s not like you didn’t want to have sex tonight… No, of course, you do. Your handsome and beefy boyfriend was naked, holding you.. Who wouldn’t be turned on? You just feel like being annoying. You want to push him as far as you can. You want to see how good he stays. How well self-disciplined he is. 

So, you sink into his body again, taking another deep breath in. 

Let’s try this again.

Relax.

You want to relax. 

That’s all you want to do.

It doesn’t last. A few giggles escape your lips as he begins to place small kisses on your shoulder all the way to the sides of your face. 

“Nam Joon…” you attempt to sound annoyed.

In his low voice, he hums; “Yes, my love?”

“You’re not making me feel relaxed!” Suddenly, you squirm as he bites your shoulder playfully. “I want to—stop that! I just want to relax, Joonie! You said you wanted to join me. You insisted.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he murmurs, only half meaning his apology. No, he wasn’t sorry. He was a man, after all. What idiot would turn down being naked in a tub of water with you? Fucking losers, that’s who. 

He squishes your body closer to him. “So... is this what you do?” 

You nod.

“Is this all that you do? This is so boring. You don’t even have those ducks to play with or like a toy boat that moves—”

“Nam Joon,” you warn, groaning at how talkative he’s becoming. “You can leave. I wouldn’t mind watching you ass walk away right now.” 

He laughs in response, getting the hint. You want to relax. He wants to be with you. This was the middle ground.

“Sorry,” he means it this time. “I’m just bored.. Like, I pictured this to be more… Sexy? Aren’t you supposed to seduce me?” Nam Joon wiggles his eyebrows at you. To that, you offer him and confused look.

“Who knows? Maybe I’ve been seducing you this entire time..” you gaslight.

He lowers his gaze. “You’ve been ignoring me since the minute we settled in the tub.”

“Aren’t you turned on?”

“No.”

You smile at him warmly, yet your tone is cold. “My love, if that’s the case… Then why do I feel your dick poking in between my legs right now?” 

He gulps.

“It’s hard.”

“I thought you said it’s boring.”

Nam Joon whines, “___, my dick is hard. I’m bored. Please sit on it.”

You gasp. 

Although, you can’t say you aren’t surprised. You’ve been together for less than a year yet he has never missed a chance to suggest such acts. Most days, you’d give in and it would be a good time. But today… You figure it would be much more fun to be a tease. This mood is sponsored by your incoming period. Regardless if it’s PMS or all your stress from work; it didn’t really matter. You just knew you weren't in the mood for super wet, slippery, hot sex in cold bath water. Imagine all the water that would be splashed on the floor! You’d be the one left to clean all of it up. Nam Joon would probably slip and hurt himself if you ordered him to do the cleaning duties.

“Okay,” you tease. “I’ll sit on your dick.”

He cheers. 

“But I won’t move.”

“W-what?” Nam Joon blinks. 

You shrug, pushing yourself up on his lap. When you find his length, you quickly guide it inside of you. No warning, not even a little rub in between. Nam Joon gulps the second he feels his cock inside of you. Unlike the water, you’re so warm. He hisses, feeling his dick begin to throb inside your tight walls. 

“M-mean,” he hisses. “You’re so mean.”

Ignoring him, you sink yourself even deeper. Now, he’s fully inside you and you’re completely sitting on him. You feel his tip and how far he is inside you.. It makes your body feel tingles and you honestly contemplate if you should just give in.

He feels so good. 

… And you hate to admit it but you overestimated yourself.

You’re having a hard time too. 

Yet, you stick it through. You have to! Rare are the moments you get where Nam Joon loses complete control.

“You asked me to sit on your dick. Sure, I’ll sit on your dick… But I’m not moving. I’m not going reverse cowgirl style. I’m not going doggy. I’m not fucking you.”

“So you’re just going to cockwarm me?” he asks, feeling betrayed. “But you love riding me!”

You glare at him. “No, I don’t. It’s tiring. It’s boring.” 

Nam Joon’s eyebrows furrow together. He tries his best to focus on your words and not how perfect you are inside of him. He’s stressed as fuck but he needs to prove to you that he can get through this… He has a feeling that winning you over will get him the reward he’s been after. 

“Then why do you do it?” 

This is news to him too. You always looked like you enjoyed riding him. Honestly, you probably ride him more than you two do in any other position. Also, why would he question it? You never really complained until now. It’s one of the things he liked so much about you.. It’s like, you just knew him. 

“You love it and I love you—”

Your eyes widen.

Did you really just say that? All this time, you were worried about slipping… Who knew it wasn’t about your body but rather your words? 

You two haven’t said it to each other yet. God, this is so fucking embarrassing. In this position too? In a fucking cold ass bath? It should’ve been more romantic! Plus, he should’ve said it first! You had it all planned out.. You were going to get it out of him before you could say it first. 

As you open your mouth to deny, take back, or spit out an excuse, his words make your world stop. 

“I love you too.”

Your breath hitches. “W-what?”

“Yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck. “I’ve been meaning to tell you.. For the past like… Six months but I couldn’t find the right moment. I figured one day, you’d just get it out of me yourself.” Nam Joon looks awfully shy to you right now. It makes your heart flutter. 

“I thought the same,” you confess. “I wanted you to say it first.”

“Okay,” Nam Joon chuckles, “Then I said it first.”

Your heart begins to pound louder and faster. God, was he always this good with words? In all honesty, Nam Joon has no problem being the first to yield or confess.. He just needed time. Right now, he knew it well. You’re the right person at the right time. He’s so grateful.

“I wanted it to be more romantic.”

Instantly, he dips his head and kisses you slowly. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours. “A slow kiss. Romantic, right? Better?”

You shake your head. 

“You have to hold my hand when you say it,” you whine. “It only makes sense that way.”

“Then, you have to look at me,” he negotiates. “You can’t be looking the other way when I say it.”

“Fine.”

You shift, pulling his dick out for a second. You adjust yourself, opening your legs and facing him. Now, your breasts were completely in front of him. He takes slow deep breaths as you put him inside you again. You wrap your arms around his neck and tilt your head. 

God, you’re so sexy.

With or without clothes, Nam Joon thinks you’re the sexiest human to ever exist. It wasn’t because your body was perfect; it was all because of the way you carried your confidence. It was that exact something he sensed and fell into an intense trance over. Moments like these play over and over in his head when he’s away from you. Moments where he feels so close to you. Physically, this was it. There is nothing more he could ask for. 

You: naked and on top of him. 

But more than that, what makes moments like these so special is the fact that he feels like he knows your soul. Bare, imperfect and so loving. It was sexy to have someone like you. It was something he had never experienced before with past loves. This was a first for him. A first real, sexy, and beautiful love. It was more than your body—it always has been. Regardless, who is he to not try? At the end of the day, he has needs. 

“Say it.” 

He laughs as he intertwines your fingers together. He raises them above the water to show you. Bringing your hands to his lips, he looks up at you and kisses your knuckles. 

“I love you, ___.”

You pout. 

He kisses your wrist and then pulls you closer to him. He kisses your breast, your collarbone, your shoulder, your cheeks, and the corner of your lip. “I’ve loved you for a while now. I’m sorry it took a cold bath to get it out of me.”

“Should’ve taken a bath together sooner.”

He laughs into your kiss. “Too bad the bath salts aren’t making me feel too sexy right now,” he confesses his uncomfortability. This is his last attempt. “Unless…”

“Spit it out,” you say, unamused.

“It’s just—”

“We’re not fucking in this bath of cold water, Joon. Give it up!” you laugh as you cup his cheeks together. You squish his lips with your thumb and index, making kissy faces at him. “No more fucking around.”

His suggestive eyes suddenly soften. “Fucking? ___, I wanted to make love… Since, you know.. I love you.”

Three times.

He said, “I love you,” three times now.

And perhaps, you’re not built for this hard-to-get lifestyle when the love of your life says such dreamy things. Of course, you’d give in. As they all say; the third time’s a charm. 

You burst into laughter, unable to hold yourself back. Desperately, you kiss him for what feels like forever, and as much as you resist; you end up riding him. 

The second you move yourself up and down, Nam Joon’s eyes widen and he smiles into the kiss. He can’t believe he won you over. 

“Fucking finally… Or should I say… Finally fucking?” Nam Joon chides, liking his word play more than he should.

Nerd alert.

You grunt, “s-shut up.” 

As you two continue to make out, you begin to move your hips as you slowly but surely begin to bounce on his hard cock. It feels so good to finally do this. As you move at a faster pace, the water begins to splash and for a second, you turn your head to make sure it isn’t going to flood the floor. But Nam Joon places his hand on your chin and the top of your neck, guiding you to look at him. 

“Don’t look away,” he hisses. “It’s just water. Focus on me.”

You nod, biting the inside of your cheeks. 

For stability, you place your hands on his chest. You feel his heart and how fast it’s racing. His skin has little goosebumps due to the cold water, but you can also see sweat from his forehead lightly layer on top of his perfect skin. His eyebrows are knitted together, as he gathers all his mental strength not to cum yet. At one point, you see his lips make an ‘o’. Why was he trying so hard to last? 

“Just cum,” you assure him. “It’s fine.”

He shakes his head, refusing to give in this early. “It’s your fucking boobs,” Nam Joon blames. “Mmhff—s-shit. What the hell. Fuck it.” 

Without warning, he places his hands on your waist and lifts you up. Nam Joon gently, yet firmly, turns you over. Your chin rests just over the rim of the tub, along with your arms. Your back is arched as he backs your ass up to his dick. He takes his fingers and plays with your clit for a bit. You moan, unable to fathom just how fucking sexy this all is. You feel yourself coming close. Before you know it, he sticks himself back in and begins to pump. Nam Joon pumps himself at a steady pace. At first, they were short and fast strokes that made the water spill over and you moan louder than usual. As you reach your peak and so does he; his strokes transition to long and deep ones. 

After a few more pumps, he lets himself go and cups your breasts with his hands. You don’t feel his cum inside of you as your walls still tingle, but you know it’s inside. Regardless of the water, you just know he creamed you messy as usual. 

As you two catch your breath, he kisses your neck once again. 

“For round two…” Nam Joon teases, “I’m thinking shower sex. Thoughts?”

“Haha,” you play along. “No.”

Nam Joon pouts, giving you puppy eyes. “... But I love you.” 

You can’t help but melt.

Oh, you’re so fucked.

You know for a fact he’ll be using this line for a while… And it’ll work. He’ll get you every time. But it’s okay! You love him too. You want him too. You need him too.

Besides, you’ll be charging him the water bill.

#knj fic #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts imagine #bts one shot #bts boyfriend au #nam joon boyfriend #bts rm #bts rm smut #namjoon smut #namjoon x oc #namjoon fic #namjoon scenario #bts scenario #bts fluff #namjoon fluff

[x-neurodivergent-reader]

Adoration Equation (Loki x Autistic!Reader w/ Dyscalculia)

Anon’s request: “Could you possibly do 'Loki with a S/O who has dyscalculia?' (And also autism, if you're comfortable with including more than one?) Perhaps they're on a mission and split up from the others, only for the reader to find themselves in a situation where math is involved (Idk, maybe a keypad equation to open something?), and Loki had no idea about their dyscalculia until right then?”

Summary: You and Loki started dating recently, but as seeing you struggle with a seemingly simple part of a mission will show him, there are still some things about you that he doesn’t know.

A/N: I don't have dyscalculia myself (I did research it, but that's not the same as experiencing it), so please let me know if any of my descriptions of it aren’t accurate, so I can revise them. Apart from that, enjoy!

The reader here is gender-neutral.

Content warnings: Slight insecurity from the reader.

The hallways of the facility you were infiltrating were silent, save for the distant sounds of gunfire and crashing as your teammates fought through anyone who attacked them, to allow you and Loki the chance to get to the main office. The USB stick that would be used to hack into one of the computers and download classified information about the organisation’s plans, along with the ID card you swiped from a higher-up earlier, felt heavy in your pocket, as you stayed alert to avoid anything that could compromise your mission.

You and Loki found that you worked together quite well in the field. Your respective skills matched up nicely, he made sure to communicate clearly with you, and you were often on the same wavelength. It was no wonder that the two of you would be grouped together for this mission – nor, perhaps, that you had become a couple about a month previously.

Just as you were about to turn down the next corridor, Loki stopped you, gently guiding you behind him as he checked around the corner for any guards. His eyebrows creased after a moment, as he slowly walked further down the hall, tentatively giving you the gesture you had both agreed on to follow him.

Surprisingly, despite the door to your destination being in sight, there were no soldiers near it.

“The coast looks clear.” You murmured, just audible enough for your partner to hear you.

“But why…?” He inquired, seemingly listening out for anyone trying to sneak up on you both. “Why would they not guard somewhere so important?”

You looked around for any hidden cameras, and sure enough, you saw a few – one at each end of the hall, and another that seemed to be embedded in the office door. You lightly tapped Loki’s arm, and silently pointed them out to him.

“They might be planning an ambush.” You whispered.

Loki nodded in response, before summoning a small pellet of green magic, and throwing it at one of the cameras at the end of the hall. Before you could process it, he turned, shooting another at the camera in the door and, finally, at the side of the corridor you had arrived from.

A thick silence fell over you both, knowing that someone was bound to come for you now that the cameras had been destroyed. Sure enough, you both heard footsteps, soon followed by a small group of soldiers rounding the corner in front of you, weapons ready to attack.

Being the seasoned warrior he is, Loki immediately had a plan.

“I’ll take care of them,” he murmured to you, “you open the door.”

“Right.” You agreed, turning back to the direction you were heading in, while Loki dove into battle behind you.

Approaching the door, you took out the stolen card, and looked around for a machine on the wall with a slot to slide it through. Your eyes stopped when you saw what appeared to be exactly that, except it had something extra alongside the card slot.

It was a keypad. You hoped that, perhaps, there would be a code on the card that you could enter without too much trouble – but when you used the card as required, the screen on the device lit up with an equation, an extra security protocol that had to be solved to enter the room.

‘Shit…’ You thought, a sense of dread starting to rise within you, as your mind blocked out the sounds of the fight happening nearby. You realised that this was going to be much harder for you than you had expected, if not outright impossible.

Regardless, you read the calculation, hoping it would be simple enough that you could at least make an attempt at it, perhaps by counting on your fingers. You just hoped that you could get it done before Loki finished fighting…

"8 x 2 x 5 + 750 =”

…and, not knowing where to even start in comprehending this, your mind immediately drew a blank.

‘Shit!’ You thought again, your panic increasing with the knowledge that you were absolutely not going to be able to do this part of the mission.

You weren’t sure of what to do now, the pressure from not being able to act on the job making you feel on edge. Should you help Loki finish his fight? Would he be mad at you for not opening the door? Would he think less of you for not being able to? Why did nobody check to see that this was how it needed to be opened-?!

Your train of thought was interrupted when a hand reached in front of you, catching you off-guard and almost causing you to attack on instinct, until you realised that it was Loki, having already finished his fight. You chanced a brief glance at his face – he wasn’t looking at you, focused on reading the equation, but his brows were downturned, like he was either confused or annoyed by your lack of action. You deeply hoped it wasn’t the latter.

Loki entered the answer into the keypad almost immediately, and the door slid open, revealing the dimly-lit office. The one window in the back wall seemed to pour daylight over the desk with the computer you needed to use, immediately drawing your attention to it like a spotlight on a stage.

Your partner stepped aside, silently gesturing for you to enter the room first, so you could use the USB and finish the job. Avoiding his gaze, you practically speed walked into the room, still feeling self-conscious about what had just happened – you hoped the download wouldn’t take long enough for the subject to be brought up sooner, rather than later.

You pressed the button on the monitor that lit up the screen, and plugged the USB into the tower next to it, the device releasing a virus that automatically broke into the computer’s security details, and collected the necessary information for you.

“We’re in.” you told Loki, as he approached the desk. The adrenaline from the mission up to that point caught up to you, and you cautiously decided to slouch in the chair until the download was complete. “Tony said it should take about five minutes, if no one interrupts us.”

Loki nodded, giving a small hum of acknowledgement. You still didn’t have the courage to look at him yet, but were at least grateful that he wasn’t admonishing you. You were dealing with enough mixed feelings about the situation as is, particularly with regards to whether you should have told him about your dyscalculia before all of this. Especially since you were now in a relationship with him, you were starting to feel guilty about not bringing it up.

“Do you have trouble with maths, by any chance?” Loki’s voice broke through the silence. His tone of voice was neutral, giving little indication as to what he was feeling.

Your leg started to bounce as you stared at the screen, internally cursing the fact that this conversation was, indeed, happening already. You still couldn’t tell whether he was mad at you – you never were the best at telling how people were feeling, especially when they were this subtle – and that fact, combined with the previous issue with the keypad, made you start to feel slightly frustrated. You felt like you couldn’t figure anything out today.

“Yeah, I…” You spoke under your breath, leaning forward to further avoid Loki’s gaze. You rested your forearms on your legs, one of which still jiggled as a nervous stim. Given that there was no other explanation, and you could never successfully lie to your partner about this, you supposed you might as well tell the truth. “…my autism isn’t the only, uh… neurodivergence I have. I also have a learning disability called dyscalculia. It basically makes it a lot more difficult for me to understand maths and numbers than it would be for most people. It doesn't matter if it's equations, telling the time, reading maps... I’ve just never been able to really comprehend it.”

Loki stepped forward, and placed a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. His voice was quiet as he spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

You knew that he most likely felt guilty for unknowingly making you do something you weren’t able to, but the gentle tone in his voice made your stomach churn. You couldn’t help worrying that he was looking down on you, whether he meant to or not.

“I didn’t want you to think less of me for it.” You admitted. “I mean, look at how quickly you solved that keypad. It barely took you any effort! You’re one of the smartest people I know, and…” You finally looked up at your partner, seeing how his face softened at the implication, and you moved your hand to cover his, giving the same reassurance he offered you. “…I don’t necessarily think that I’m stupid for it, but I’m not always sure that other people will feel the same, especially since I joined a team full of people who can do maths so easily. I didn’t want you to think that I’m stupid, just because my brain works like this.”

You glanced back at the computer screen, seeing that the USB was close to finishing its download. You sat up against the chair, and let Loki’s hand move to hold yours.

“Darling,” he squeezed your hand, grounding you, “your dyscalculia doesn’t change how I feel about you. It would be preposterous for anyone to judge your intelligence based on a learning disability – you don’t need to be able to do everything to be worthy of respect.”

Loki looked at the computer screen, and with his gaze away from you, you took a moment to watch the way the monitor’s light emphasised the blue in his eyes. You wondered if he ever noticed that when there was no risk of eye contact, you couldn’t help admiring them, no matter how briefly.

“I love every part of you,” he continued, and your breath caught in your chest at what was his first explicit confession of love towards you, “and this is no exception. I simply wish I had known not to put you in that situation before. I’m sorry for causing you stress by doing so.”

“It’s okay.” You grinned up at him, your body relaxing at the knowledge that there was nothing to worry about. “We’ll know to have me be the one to kick their asses next time.”

Loki chuckled under his breath, looking back at you with that sweet, lovestruck smile, reserved only for you.

In front of you, the download window on the computer screen disappeared, signifying that it was complete. You stood up from the desk chair, pushing it backwards on its wheels while you disconnected the USB and stuffed it back into your pocket, and zipped it to ensure it wouldn't get lost.

You then turned to Loki, and gave him a quick yet heartful kiss on the lips. When you pulled away, he gave you that cheeky smirk that you adored so much.

“I love you, too.” You confessed sincerely, before you both made your way to the office doors, ready to face any threats that may wait on the other side together. “Now let’s finish this.”

#loki x reader #marvel loki x reader #loki imagine #loki imagines #loki x y/n #loki x you #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #mcu imagine #mcu imagines #mcu x reader #autistic!reader #dyscalculic!reader #neurodivergent!reader #only one request to go and I'll be free from marvel forever

[itsbackwoodsbby]

Laying Low

Drug Dealer Yahya x Black Fem Reader

Warning: Death! Drugs! Murder! Unprotected Sex!

Summary: You sell drugs with your boyfriend, Darnell, but you two constantly argue back and forth. One day, he tells you about how a man named Yahya is seeking revenge on you two for killing his cousin, Jayshawn, when you two were in high school. What happened next? Read it to find out.

Sneak Peek: This is the hardest part about working with Yahya. The sexual fucking tension between you two. Working with a fine black man as a beautiful ass black woman. There’s never a moment where he’s not discussing how you should just let a nigga fuck. And he’s a smooth talker. Even though you say you’ll never mix pleasure with business, it’s kinda hard to focus on that with your back pinned up against a wall, listening to a man begging to fuck you, as he feels on your body.

“Yahya… I told you. I’m not mixing business and pleasure no more.” You yelp out as he pops your thigh. “You gonna make me beg? C’mon, show me that body.” He says before kissing your neck, moving up to your jawline and to your ear to whisper, “That perfect ass body.” He smirks and pulls you closer to his body, thrusting his hips slowly into you, making you feel how hard you make him.

You about to lose it. Your biggest rule is almost out the window. You always knew he was just walking around with a big dick. Hell, he couldn’t have all these random bitches with a small one. But you remember he has a roster of women, which makes it easier to bring that moral back in and push Yahya away from you.

“Nah.” You smile and laugh. He sucks his teeth, “You gon’ let me fuck eventually. You know you want me like I want you.” You shake your head, “Nope.” You lie to him.

A/N: Okay, so this was a request ,but my dumbass deleted the ask with my chubby ass thumb. I know it was could I make a smut with this gif (not mines).

This is what I had in mind. I started this February 27th and finished March 18th. It was so much editing and revising to make sure that it was good for everyone. Hope you guys enjoy!!

Taglist:

@keeper0fhearts @dayiiidayana @becauseimswagman1 @yanalanettebby

If you want to be on my taglist, PLEASE ask me. My nerves will NOT let me just tag people.

Since you started talking, you have always been a peaceful and timid little girl. You minded your business and would never say anything even if it bothered you. You weren’t exactly bullied in school because of this, but you allowed people to walk all over you and use you until you met him.

When you were a freshman in high school, you met Darnell. He was a popular kid in high school, played basketball, and ran track. He started failing math and at first, he didn’t care, but they said he wasn’t going to play basketball if he didn’t get his shit together. He got it together by asking you to tutor him. You said yes and tutored him after practice even though you didn’t want to. You started developing your first crush on him, but something in the back of your mind told you it wouldn’t work out, so you decided to keep it quiet. Which was a good idea, because he would rather not be caught around you. You weren’t ugly, you just weren’t popular like him. You didn’t care.

One day, you got in your soft girl era and glowed up. You became that bitch and everyone wanted to be your friend. You either told everyone to keep the same energy they had when you were “nobody.” However, you couldn’t exactly do that for Darnell. Since you still liked him. “Damn, ma. It’s like that?” is all it took for you two to hang out. Eventually, you two got close, started dating, and he took your virginity. It wasn’t anything to write home about, but it rocked your junior body to a new level of maturity and confidence. You weren’t that timid little girl anymore. You were the popular boy’s girlfriend.

Around your senior year, he tore his ACL during a basketball game. It ruined all chances of him getting a scholarship in basketball or track. He started to wash cars at his uncle’s car shop to make some money and get his mind off his school athletics. It lasted for a while until his uncle got into a financial problem.

One day, you and Darnell decided to visit his uncle at the car shop. You two found him unconscious with his head busted open a bit and the majority of his teeth fell out. Once he woke up, he explained that he got his ass handed to him because he did business with a nigga named Jayshawn and that he only had two weeks to give him his money back. Darnell was pissed as hell. His uncle was special to him, damn near his favorite person. He raised him when his drunk-ass dad didn’t. So what did Darnell do? Darnell became a drug dealer to get the money fast. Just a few little sales and he was out of the game. He even recruited some of his friends to help him.

You always rode around with him. Like his little lap dog. He didn’t mind it. He always thought of it as you being his Bonnie.

It didn’t take long for Darnell to get Jayshawn’s money. You went to him when he gave the money to him. Jayshawn came by himself, unprotected because he underestimated Darnell. Of course, Jayshawn teased you. “Oh, is this your little girlfriend?”, “She’s pretty thick. How old is she? I can have a fun time with her.” are some of the creepy things the old head said. Darnell was pissed but your presence calmed him down somehow. But the deal didn’t go through as you thought it would. Jayshawn started talking about wanting to add interest because he waited so long for the money. Darnell was mad, asking Jayshawn what he needed to give him more money for, but he wouldn’t answer him, just giving him a cheeky answer that pushed Darnell to the unthinkable.

He pulled out a gun and let off three shots. Jayshawn fell straight to the ground, blood pouring out of his chest. You stood there, frozen. You had just seen your first homicide. Darnell looked at the lifeless body, picked up the money he made, and tapped your shoulder, constantly repeating your name, so you two could leave the scene.

When you two got in the car, it was quiet. Now and then, you’d side-eye Darnell. You were expecting shit to pop off, but not that. You two go to his uncle's house to explain what happened. He suggests that you two need to lay low for a while. You were confused about why you needed to lay low. You didn’t kill the nigga. You were a witness. Darnell’s uncle just tells you that if Jayshawn’s people see you they would probably hurt you because you are Darnell’s girlfriend.

During that time, you didn’t get to talk to your friends or your family. Your mom was worried sick about you. She blew your phone up asking where you were and how you better bring your ass back to her house now. You didn’t though. You and Darnell laid low for a month before you two showed your faces.

Your mom was pissed. She claimed she knew that Darnell killed Jayshawn, how she didn’t want you around all that, and how you were a sweet girl before you met Darnell. That shit went in one ear and out the other. You had definitely changed after seeing Jayshawn get whacked. You were distant. You became disobedient to your mom. You still hung out with Darnell and came home whenever you wanted to. But it all changed after you started helping Darnell in the streets. You were selling drugs and murking niggas. The anxiety feeling you got when you saw Jayshawn die was gone and a new thrilling feeling rolled over your body: being wealthy and having power.

Eventually, your mom got tired of your shit and kicked you out of her house. Mainly in fear of when your ass gets caught, her house wouldn’t be raided, looking for you or whatever drugs you had smuggled into her house. You moved in with Darnell who lives with his uncle after his mom kicked his ass out as well two months before. You finished school. You were an honored graduate. You didn’t let the streets stop you from getting your education. Darnell, however, dropped out because he was already successful.

Now, it has been seven years since you graduated high school. You wake up and shower to do your housewife duties. You go downstairs and take a stretch before you cook breakfast for you and Darnell and his uncle. As you finish, they roll out of bed and start coming downstairs to eat this delicious meal you have made.

Everyone fixes their plate and sits at the table. As soon as they have their first bite, they dig into the food like they haven’t eaten since last week. You roll your eyes, but inside, you’re proud of this delicious breakfast you cooked.

After their third serving of food, you wash the dishes that you messed up. Darnell comes up and smacks your ass.

“Damn, baby that food was delicious.” He says. Before you can answer, here comes his raggedy-ass uncle, putting in his two cents “Well, of course, the food is good. You gave her some dick last night. Had her screaming for dear mercy. Just how I taught you.”

You look at Darnell who just shrugs the situation off like it’s something completely normal. You roll your eyes and continue washing dishes. You put the dishes up and head upstairs to the bedroom. Here goes the toothless motherfucker once again.

“Yeah, boy. She wants some more. You see how she popping that ass upstairs.” He says, trying to dap up his nephew. You slam the door.

You can hear Darnell and his uncle semi-arguing. Not about protecting his girl and telling his uncle to stop saying shit like that. It was about his uncle ruining his chance of getting pussy. His uncle's last words before Darnell followed you upstairs were:

“Well, I live here too. Not my problem your girlfriend is loud as hell when y’all fuck in MY HOUSE.”

You roll your eyes and just look at Darnell. He sighs, “You know he done lost a few brain cells after that incident.” You mumble, “Nigga finna lose more than that if he don’t shut the hell up.”He chuckles at your remark and then starts kissing your neck. You push him away, “No. I’m not in the mood.” He tries again and you get up away from the bed. “I said no, nigga.” You semi-yell at him. He sighs and looks down at the bed then back at you, “You seriously going to let my uncle kill the vibe baby.”

You damn right. You might be horny for this boy’s dick, but you’ll be damned if you have to listen to his creepy-ass uncle make sexual comments about you. Sometimes, when it’s just you two alone, his uncle makes even more vulgar sexual advances, including trying to touch your ass.

Of course, Darnell gets mad you ain’t wetting his dick up. You sigh, “Baby, why can’t we just move out of here and get our own place?” You come back to him, sit on his lap, and wrap your arms around his neck. “That way, we can have sex more.” You look down at him and see him smiling at the idea and he wraps his arms around your waist tightly and grips your booty, “Maybe, even start a family, eventually.” You add, smiling with him.

You feel his embrace loosen up from you. You look at him. “Y/N, you know how I feel about kids.” He rolls his eyes and looks annoyed. You almost had him. “Come on, Darnell. We are not going to get any younger. We should start a family.” You put it out there. He just stays quiet, so you get off his lap and just look at him. “Uh, hello? I said something.”

He ignores you and then his phone goes off. You get a glance at it. India Dior. You roll your eyes and get off the bed. You two went to school with Miss. India. She was very popular. Mainly because she is pretty, rich, and she could dress. She didn’t have much of a personality. Just being a hoe. Now she’s an influencer. Showing her big ass house, that her dad brought her and just showing off her beauty on the internet.

If being an influencer stops working for her one day, the money won’t stop for her. Her dad would give her money. Her dad is a big drug dealer. He is somewhat of a motivation for Darnell. You couldn’t say anything bad about Robert Jackson around Darnell, or he’ll become the most dick-riding motherfucker.

You get really sick and tired of seeing India’s name on this nigga phone. He swears it’s so innocent and that she's just checking up on him or that he asked her dad for tips on how to run his business. You know it has to be a bit more than that. You were born at night, but not last night.

He sighs and looks at you, “You really not going to give me none tho?” He rubs your spot and you push his hand away, “No because your raggedy ass gum mouth ass uncle can’t mind his business and you can’t even tell him that shit is weird and uncomfortable and you just ignore me.” You roll your eyes. He huffs, “Man, whatever. Always trippin’ and shit. You need some dick. Maybe it will help your attitude.”

And that last sentence is what starts the fifth argument this week. And it’s just Tuesday. All ‘cause he’s mad you won’t give him no pussy. Well if he would meet you halfway on this and move out maybe you’ll give him pussy more.

You don’t even want to argue with Darnell. You love the man with every bone in your body, but you’re always putting your needs and wants on the back burner to make this nigga happy. Can he do the same for you? Hell naw.

“AYE! Y’ALL TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Toothless screams from downstairs. “DAMN! PREFER YALL FUCKING THEN ALWAYS FUCKING ARUGING.” He yells some more.

You look at Darnell to see if he heard what his uncle said. He just shrugs and acts like it’s nothing. “I’m finna shower.” He brushes his way past you and grabs his stuff to shower.

You sigh and lay on the bed as he walks out. When he leaves, you let the tears out that you hid during the argument. Mentally, you’re so tired and your boyfriend doesn’t even care. Your quiet sobbing makes you even more tired, so you relax your body and sleep.

You wake up from your nap in a tight embrace a good hour later. You look up and see you’re lying on Darnell’s chest. You look up at him and he looks down at you and kisses your forehead.

“How did you sleep, baby?” He asks you. You look around, stretch a bit, and look back at him, “I slept okay.” You say and look away from him, remembering what happened before you took a nap. He sighs, “I’m sorry. You’re right. My uncle be out of pocket. It’s not cool what he does and says. I am your man and should be speaking out for you and telling him what he’s saying is wrong.” You smile a bit, happy he’s realizing his wrongs. “We can move out of here. Especially with everything that’s going on.”

He blows out some hot air and looks at you. You sit up, “What's going on?” He looks at you, “I don’t want to worry you. It’s Jayshawn’s cousin. He’s close to our age. He is coming for us.” Your eyes get wide, “Why? Like why is he now getting us?” He looks at you, “You know I killed Jayshawn while he was in jail. He's out now.” He continues, “I got an insider that said he is getting back in the game. He ain’t going to have anything like a gun or shit. So I was thinking we could kill two birds with one stone and maybe kill him and rob for his shit. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about that nigga no more.

You think about the plan. It’s risky as hell, but it’s worth it. When it comes to this lifestyle, you hate being a target. Besides it being dangerous, you’re also going to be stuck in a house with Gummy and Darnell when you have to lay low from cops and opps. You would rather not do that, so you have to risk it. But you are still questioning whether it was a good idea.

You sigh, “And that nigga will really be defenseless?” He looks at you, “Of course, he will be. He won’t be expecting anything.” You nod your head and smile, “Do you think we should bring the boys? Just in case shit gets rocky.” You add. He shakes his head, “Nah, baby. I told you he’s harmless right.” You look at him, “Okay.” He smiles and kisses your forehead, “Ight. We are going at night. My boy watched him. Said he usually leaves the trap house by himself.” You just nod your head and mentally prepare yourself for what’s about to come.

So around 11, you two go to Yahya’s new trap spot and creep inside. Darnell suggests that you two split up so that you two can find the valuables more easily. You agree with the idea and instantly regret it. Darnell starts being super loud. You two aren’t even in the same room, but you can hear breaking shit and heavy footsteps. Suddenly, it quiets down. You think Darnell has found the valuables he needs and now he’s off to kill Yahya. But instead, you hear a voice call out.

“Who the fuck is there?” The voice asks.

You hide behind boxes with some product in them and look around to see this Yahya. He is very muscular and tall. You bite your lips at him, but then you get yourself back into focus.

Suddenly, something knocks a box down, giving away your cover. Yahya rushes to you, pins you against a wall, and puts a knife to your neck.

“Who the hell are you?!” He says, almost shouting at you as he looks you up and down. You don’t say anything, just look up at the ceiling.

Your silence makes Yahya mad. You don’t care. Especially when you see Darnell creeping past the door. You start to grin, thinking your man is about to save you and shoot Yahya. But he doesn’t. He smiles and waves at you, sneaks out the door, and leaves you there. Your grin drops.

You should have known that something was up when you woke up from that nap. He was being too damn nice and HE apologized. Darnell never apologizes, even when he knows he’s wrong. Your heart shatters in a million pieces. You can’t believe this shit! Your first love really set you up.

Yahya pushes the knife a bit deeper. “I said who the fuck are you?” He repeats himself, louder to make sure you can hear him. Your sadness turns to anger quickly, “You should know, fuck nigga. You wanted to kill me for killing your cousin.” You say as you roll your eyes. He looks at you, “What are you talking about?” You look at him confused, “You wanted to kill me and Darnell. Over your cousin … Jayshawn.” He looks at you and laughs, “Ion care about no damn Jayshawn. I didn’t fuck with him. Blood or not. Besides, he died from being a dumbass.” He laughs some more and drops you on the floor. “Should have strapped up, careless ass nigga.”

You sigh, feeling like a damn fool. You stand up and brush yourself off. This shit is so embarrassing.

“So tell me for real, why you here?” He questions you and you tell him the short version of the story, “My boyfriend told me that you wanted to kill us because you wanted revenge for your cousin.” He chuckles, “Sounds like your lil boyfriend just wanted your ass gone.” His chuckle becomes a hard laugh. You roll your eyes, “Well, not to rain on your parade, but he stole some of your product and your money while he was here.” He shrugs, “I can make that money back easily. And that product he stole ain’t shit. Mid at best. I’m looking for a new supplier anyway.” You just mug him, “Good the fuck for you.” He laughs, “Don’t be mad at me. Be mad at your nigga or whatever for setting you up.” You shake your head, “Yeah yeah. Whatever.”

You don’t even fight to win the petty ass argument with him. You’re so heartbroken and honestly where the fuck has arguing got you, anyways. Heartbroken and homeless. You sigh and start walking away.

“Aye! Aye!” He calls out. “Work with me.” He says. You turn around, “What?” You walk back to him. “Work with me.” He says, licking his lips at you. “What makes you think I can run the game for real? You see I just got set up. You saw how I was just finna give up and let you kill me.” You list your reasons. He just smiles at you, “I wouldn’t have known where you were if the box didn’t fall. That nigga was the only reason you got caught. Possibly threw this over here.” He says as he picks up a rock.

You stand there, contemplating. Should you work with Yahya? You don’t know him. He could eventually do the same thing as Darnell did to you. You don’t know why he even went to jail. You look at him as he puts his hand out. He gets you when he says:

“We can get revenge on Darnell if you would like that.” You smile and shake his hand, “Glad to do business with you.” He laughs.

While working with Yahya, your life got way better. You’re well-respected in the streets. Everyone knows that fuck with you, they fuck with Yahya and that’s not something they want to do.

You’re closer with your mom and you two speak every day. She doesn’t like that you’re still in the game, but she loves your new partner because he doesn’t have you doing crazy things. Another plus for her, you both spoil her, so it’s a win-win for her.

After sleeping in the trap house for a while, you finally had enough to buy your first house and a little extra to decorate how you wanted. It was nice to not have to clean every damn day after two grown-ass men. It was relaxing to be able to walk around the house butt-ass naked finally.

You decided from then on, that you’d never mix your pleasure with your street business ever again.

Working with Yahya also means random bitches always interfere with work. They pop up at the trap house, trying to be under him and watch you as IF you want him. You don’t know how many times you had to tell these bitches off because they try to say something about you being too close to him or they’re even going to take your spot and be the only woman in his life. You reassure these bitches, they’re definitely not the only ones.

And don’t even forget about trying to work when Yahya is horny. If his phone dings and it’s one of his bitches, meeting over with. He will rush to drop some dick off in them. Or he gives her a quickie in the trap house and you are just stuck there listening for what feels like an eternity.

Currently, you are sitting in the trap house, listening to Yahya crack this girl in the other room. It’s so aggravating. Today is product day. Yahya gives you and the rest of the team some products and you guys move it. You take this opportunity to talk to Yahya about this plan you had. You two were in the middle of talking about your revenge on Darnell's greasy ass and then Miss. Brittani delulu decides to pop up so she can get her daily dose of dick.

When they return, Yahya buckles up his pants as she fixes her little sundress and her haYou roll your eyes in disgust. Yahya stands there, cupping her ass, telling her that he’ll see her again, and how he’ll be thinking about that pussy. You roll your eyes and scoff. It’s the same thing he tells all the others. Brittani looks over at you and she starts mugging you.

“You’re just jealous that he wants me and not your street rat ass.” She says to you. You look at Yahya, “Please, kick her out so we can work. Please.” You look back down at your phone, trying to spare her. “Bitch, you don’t rush me. You’re nothing. I’m a goddess. He loves me.” You sigh and look at her, “Sweetheart, you’re just another body on his list, let alone you’re the fifth bitch that fucked him in the bathroom this week. Please… tread the fuck lightly.” Brittani looks at Yahya and storms off. He chuckles at you as he sits down in his chair, “Damn, Y/N. You going to leave a nigga with no bitches.” You shrug, “She’ll be back. You know she’s delusional for your ass.” You look back at your phone.

“So, why you so impatient today?” Yahya asks you. You roll your eyes, “Again, I want to get Darnell back now since he has to lay low. He just robbed that boy, Stacy, so Darnell will be off the radar at his uncle's house. It’s an easy job. We can’t fuck up.” Yahya looks at you, “What about his uncle?” You lean back, “It’s Tuesday and his gummy bear uncle goes out, getting shitty drunk, playing bingo.”He laughs, “You always talk shit about that man uncle.” You roll your eyes, “Cause he’s mad weird.”

You two discuss the plan with no interruption at all. The plan is wonderfully crafted. Yahya couldn’t do anything but compliment your smarts. Then you two stand up together and you adjust your shorts that have found their way up your thigh. You look up Yahya. Finally, you notice that he is staring hard as hell at you.

“What, nigga?” You laugh. Yahya chuckles and walks closer to you. “You know you be looking good as hell to me.” He says. You roll your eyes, “Didn’t you just fuck your daily bop of the day?” You laugh at his desperation to fuck. “Don’t even worry about all that for real.” He pulls you close and grips your ass, “I want you now, so what is up?”

This is the hardest part about working with Yahya. The sexual fucking tension between you two. Working with a fine black man as a beautiful ass black woman. There’s never a moment where he’s not discussing how you should just let a nigga fuck. And he’s a smooth talker. Even though you say you’ll never mix pleasure with business, it’s kinda hard to focus on that with your back pinned up against a wall, listening to a man begging to fuck you, as he feels on your body.

“Yahya… I told you. I’m not mixing business and pleasure no more.” You yelp out as he pops your thigh. “You gonna make me beg? C’mon, show me that body.” He says before kissing your neck, moving up to your jawline and to your ear to whisper, “That perfect ass body.” He smirks and pulls you closer to his body, thrusting his hips slowly into you, making you feel how hard you make him.

You about to lose it. Your biggest rule is almost out the window. You always knew he was just walking around with a big dick. Hell, he couldn’t have all these random bitches with a small one. But you remember he has a roster of women, which makes it easier to bring that moral back in and push Yahya away from you.

“Nah.” You smile and laugh. He sucks his teeth, “You gon’ let me fuck eventually. You know you want me like I want you.” You shake your head, “Nope.” You lie to him.

He chuckles. Reading right through your lie. But he lets you go freely. Knowing that you’re going to give in eventually. You grab your bag and put it on your arm. You distribute the product you had and go home to relax for the rest of the day until it is time to put the plan in motion.

Around midnight, you swing by to get Yahya for the mission. He comes out of his house dressed similarly to you. You both had on all black. You drive to the abandoned parking lot that’s not that far from Darnell’s location.

You look at Yahya, “Are you ready?” He looks at you, “I should be asking you. You have chemistry with this nigga.” You raise your eyebrow, “No. Had. And the chemistry was one-sided. I loved him. He loved that I was a housewife, always gave him pussy ‘til his uncle started being creepy, and helped him do his job.”

You roll your eyes. The months you’ve been single made you realize a lot of things that were absolutely wrong with that relationship. Darnell LET his uncle say sexual things to you. He never protected you from it. Just act like it was nothing serious. The relationship was always 100/0. You never got anything in the relationship, yet you always had to please him and put up with his shit. Love just blinded you from seeing the unhealthy things of that relationship.

You two get out and creep down the alleyway, making sure to get caught. Once you get there, you two see an unfamiliar white car in the driveway.

“Thought you said he’d be home alone?” He asks you. “I mean, I thought so. That’s not his uncle's car.” You shrug and slide your foot through the opened window. “Aye, Y/N, what you doing?” He whispers to you. You just look at him, “I am going inside. Not letting this stop me.” Yahya chuckles, “You just want him gone, huh?” You look at Yahya, “Duh.”

You go inside and soon after Yahya follows you inside. The house has definitely seen better days. The house had a mildew smell. You can see in the dim kitchen that the sink was full of dirty dishes. Two trash bags were on the floor, while the one in the bin was filled to the brim. There was trash everywhere in the house. It was kind of hard to walk slowly without stepping on it.

You two creep upstairs and start hearing noises. You lean on the wall and Yahya leans next to you. You look at him and in the dark, you can see his eyes telling you to peek inside before you go in. You look inside and your skin starts to boil. This nigga is giving backshots to that bitch India. And you know it’s her because her flower-tatted ass. You turn your head to Yahya.

“It’s just my replacement.” You whisper to him. “So we good?” He asks you. You nod, “Yeah. Definitely good.”

You wait for a minute and then you burst into the room with Yahya. Darnell pulls out and lays on the bed and India covers her body up, crying begging for mercy.

“Bitch, shut the fuck up!” You say. You raise your gun to Darnell, “Hey baby. You missed me?” You give him a wicked smile.

Darnell starts stuttering your name out as you get closer to him, begging for you not to kill him, but you do anyway. India starts crying and screaming. Once she’s over the initial shock, she pushes you and tries to run out of the room. Yahya blocks her way hovers over her and points the gun at her.

“No witnesses, lil mama.” He says in a husky muffled voice. It honestly sends shivers down your spine, but once you hear the gunshot ring, you are back to reality.

You look down and see the lifeless bodies. The end of Darnell and India’s stories. You two creep out the backdoor since it’s the quickest way back to the alleyway. So many thoughts run through your mind. It feels so good to get revenge. Not just for him setting you up, but just for being a horrible boyfriend to you. You didn’t deserve all that shit.

You two slip into your car and you ride off to Yahya’s house to drop him off. It was quiet. Mainly cause you’re still in your head. On the one hand, you’re happy as hell. But on the other hand, you couldn’t help the remorseful feeling you had. You killed someone’s son, someone’s best friend, someone’s favorite person, and even though you hated his ass, someone’s nephew. And even though you didn’t care for India, you killed someone’s daughter. And not just someone’s, Robert Jackson’s daughter.

Your stomach begins to get queasy. Your hands start shaking on the wheel. You try to think about something else so you won’t be so tense while driving. You start thinking about what you will do while staying off the radar. Maybe learn a new hobby or maybe get back into writing.

At a red light, you look over at Yahya. You see he’s just been eyeing you. He wasn’t checking you out, he was trying to figure out what’s on your mind. You smile at him, hoping he can’t read that you’re starting to feel guilty.

“So what are you going to do while you keep a low profile?” You ask him. He looks at you, “Low profile? Why do I need to lay low?” You look at him, “You just killed a drug dealer’s daughter. A big drug dealer at that, Yahya.” He looks at you, “And? What does that mean to me?” You look at him, “You know he is going to send his boys on you?” He leans back in his seat, “Yeah, but who’s really going to be stupid enough to kill me?” He says, all arrogant and you roll your eyes, which makes him laugh, “Nah, all serious though. I like to walk around with a target on my chest every day. If niggas see me, they just see me. Nine times outta ten, they not gon’ do shit.”

You look at him like he’s a crazy man, “Well, I am.” You say as you resume driving. “I hate being a target. And I am definitely one now.” You sigh, “I just hate that now I have to do it by myself.” He looks at you, “I’ll spend it with you.” He starts, “Well, if you don’t mind.” You smile, “Yeah. If you don’t mind not fucking your hoes for a while.” He chuckles, “I have self-control.”

You two laugh, knowing damn well that he doesn’t have self-control. He’s a horny dog. You were curious though on why he would want to lay with you, knowing you won’t let him fuck any random women in your home. Knowing that you won’t even let him fuck you.

“So why you want to spend it with me?” You ask him. He breathes in before talking, “To protect you, let you feel safe about this, so you won’t be in your head the whole time and spooking yourself. So you won’t be alone.” He touches your shoulder.

You smile, almost shed a tear. It feels good to know someone is willing to protect you during this time. You arrive at Yahya’s house and park on the curb. You wait as he packs his things. A few minutes later, he moves his car into the garage and walks back to your car. He throws his bag in the back and gets in. You drive to your place and drive your car in your garage. He gets his bag and you two head inside.

As you get inside, you tell Yahya that you are about to hop in the shower and sleep afterward and you tell him where the guest room is. You go into your room, strip down, and head to your bathroom. You shower, making sure you get squeaky clean. After your shower, you get dressed in an oversized shirt. No bra and panties. You relax your body on your bed and close your eyes.

… … …

You couldn’t sleep. Every time you close your eyes, you see Darnell’s body. You didn’t understand. You killed people before, why is Darnell’s death fucking with you? You sigh and get out of your bed. Slowly, you walk to the guest room and lightly tap on the door. Yahya opens the door and leans on the doorframe. His tall muscular body hovers over you. He was wearing basketball shorts and a gray tank top.

“Can I come in?” You ask him. He shakes his head yes and moves out of the way for you. He lays back down and pats the bed, “Come on, lay down.” You smile and lie down next to him. He puts the blanket on you and wraps his arm around you. “It’s going to be okay, Y/N. I got you.”

As the days went by, you had a lot of fun with Yahya. You two play card games and watch movies. He even helps you learn a new hobby, drawing and painting. Yahya was still leaving to handle things at the trap house. When he comes back, you have a hot meal waiting for him.

You learn more about each other. Yahya always wanted to be an architect, but because he went to jail for armed robbery. Since he was 17, he got charged as an adult, but he got a minimum of ten years since he was young and he didn’t have much involvement in it. Eight years later, he got out early for good behavior, even though he was far from being good in jail. Since he couldn’t get a job as an architect, he turned back to what he knew. The streets.

Your dreams for your future job have always changed. You wanted to be a singer, but you didn’t like the idea of singing in front of millions of people. You wanted to be a writer, but you think your writings are ass and not tasteful for anyone, but yourself. You wanted to do hair, but you met Darnell, so then you decided to just be a basketball player’s wife. That took a turn and you became a drug dealer’s toy and followed him in the streets and did dirty jobs with him.

Yahya is at the trap house today. He told you that he was going to be back a little late. You decide to clean around the house and do some laundry. You finish that and Yahya still wasn’t here. So you go to your office and you write some ideas for your next story. Yahya still wasn’t here. You decide to cook dinner and he finally comes to the house. It’s like he knows when you’re done cooking.

“Sorry, I am late. Moni ran into some problems. Had to help her.” He walks to the kitchen and wash his hands. You look at him, examining the fact that he has blood on his shirt. You clear your throat and point to the stain. He looks at it, “Oh shit! I didn’t know that was there.” You laugh, “Well, is Moni okay?” He shakes his head, “Yeah, just shaken up. Some guys tried to rob her as she was walking out.” He takes off the blood-stained button-up shirt.

You try not to, but you replay the way he unbuttoned it. Slowly revealing his abs. He takes the shirt off, showing those muscular arms that you wish could wrap around your body. Wishing that for a few moments, you weren’t so hellbent on not mixing business with pleasure.

“Go shower, so you can eat.” You tell him. He chuckles, “Yes, ma’am. I will, mama.” He walks upstairs.

You lean on the counter. You know he meant it in a teasing way, but it still did something for you in between your thighs. He was undeniably fine. He is your type of man. He walks around with facial expressions of confidence and besides Robert, he’s the second feared man in the city, which makes you even more wetter thinking when you catch yourself thinking of him.

He comes downstairs in a white tee and grey sweats. You two fix your plates and eat at the dinner table. He compliments your cooking as usual. You try to wash the dishes, but he tells you to go sit down. You don’t argue with him. You sit down and start reading some of your works.

“What are you reading?” Yahya says a few minutes later. He sits down next to you as You close the binder quickly. “Uh… nothing.” You smile. “C’mon, tell me.” He says and you just shake your head.

He looks at you a while before grabbing the blue binder and opening it. You try to take it back, but he moves it away from you. You sigh and laugh at his childish ass. He opens it and examines it at first.

“You wrote this?” He raises his eyebrow at you. You look down, “Uh, yeah.” He chuckles, “This is nice.” He smiles at you.

He starts to read your story out loud. His husky voice was soothing and helped bring the characters together in your head. Then he gets to the sexual parts, and his voice is giving you the best eargasm, as well as bringing you close to an orgasm.

Your thighs rub against each other. Then, you feel his hand raise from your leg to your thighs. Your eyes meet his and you stare for a while before he kisses you. You didn’t even hesitate to kiss him back. He pulls you on top of him and grips your waist tightly. Then, he stops and moves you away from him.

“I'm sorry. I know you said that you're not mixing business and pleasure.” He says and looks at you. You just look at him, feeling hazy. The kiss was intoxicating. You had to do it again.

You damn near jump in his lap and kiss him. He is shocked, but he pulls your body close to his as he kisses you back. You lay back on the couch and he is in between your legs. He pins your wrists, together, and kisses your neck. He goes up your jawline and tugs your ear.

“So you going to give me that pussy now?” He whispers in your ear. He thrust himself onto you. Your eyes roll back to your, “Fuck Yahya. Yes.” You cooed out to him.

He smiles and picks you up to take you to your bedroom. So many thoughts were running through your head. You felt his dick brushing against your shorts. His dick is too big. Will he even fit? You were nervous, but you needed to feel him deep inside of you.

Your thoughts are interrupted as your back touches your dresser. Your shirt, shorts, and underwear go flying everywhere in your room. He walks back a bit and admires your body. You couldn’t help but smile and look down.

“No. Look at me.” He says. You look at him. Your smile was bright enough to white the room. “Damn, you’re so beautiful.” He walks back to you, kisses you, and lowers down to your neck. “Your body is so perfect.” His breath tickles your neck.

He massages your left breast and sucks on the right. Your body shivers and gets covered in goosebumps. He rubs your body, lowers down to kiss your stomach, and spreads your legs apart. He looks at your sticky wet mess in between your legs. He practically starts drooling over it.

You giggle and snap your fingers, “Sir, are you okay?’ He chuckles, “Yeah, yeah. My bad.” He says as he pushes your back against the mirror behind you and rubs your slit. Your body hitches up, “Oh fuck!” He lowers down and dips his tongue inside for a taste and he couldn’t get enough.

He starts eating you out and you bite your moan in. He pops your thigh. “Let me hear you, mamas.” Your mouth hangs up and you moan. He smiles and flicks your clit as he adds a finger in. You grip his head and push him deeper into your pussy. “Shit, baby. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.” His fingers curve, making you cry out.

He nibs and bites on your clit, adding another finger, and you lose your mind. You grip the sheets and look down at him as you start riding his face, feeling your body get closer to your climax. He looks up at you and pulls your body closer to him so he can devour your pussy more. Your body jerks up and you let out a sudden scream as you let go of your orgasm.

You catch your breath and look down at him, pulling him up to kiss him so you can taste yourself on his lips. He slips his tongue in your mouth and explores around. He scoops you off the dresser and lays you on your silk-covered bed without breaking the kiss. You hear his pants unzip and the ruffling of his pants and boxers going down to the floor. You feel his dick glide on your clit. He eases his tip inside you. You gasp and jerk your body.

“No, no! It’s too big.” You try to stop him. He kisses your neck, “It’s okay. It’s okay, mamas.” He wipes your tears away. “I got you.” He kisses your cheek. You breathe and try to relax as the initial stingy sensation washes over your body. He eases the rest of himself inside you and holds himself right there. “You can move.” You tell him, once you get a bit used to him.

He doesn’t move. Instead, he looks into your eyes, with a smirk, “Beg for it.” He gives you a deep slow stroke, making your eyes widen “Oh shit.” You drag the moan out of your mouth.

You knew why he wanted you to beg. Because you held out on giving him pussy for months. You’re not the type to beg, never begged in your life. But over this dick, you had to. “Yahya, please. Please fuck me.” You whimper as his strokes get slower and slower. With a cheeky smile, he drives his dick inside you at a rapid pace. This is what you wanted. This is what you need.

He pins your feet behind your head, getting deeper into your stomach. He is where you need his dick to be. Pleasure begins filling your body up. It’s too much. You push him away a bit, “Yahya, wait… it’s too much.” He pins your wrists to your ankles, putting more pressure on your stomach, “Nah, take it. You keep this wet ass pussy away from me.” He groans before slamming inside you.

You close your eyes and whine out. You wish you would have never held back from getting fucked by him if you knew he was this good at fucking. He lets your hands go and comes down tongue-kiss you. You wrap your hands around his neck. He starts going faster, hitting your spot over and over again.

You gasp and break the kiss, “Fuck! Fuck! Right there, right there.” You beg him to keep hitting that spot. “That’s what you want? You want me to make that pussy come for me.” He groans, looking down at you.

You’re a broken record, whimpering the word yes over and over. He smiles and kisses your neck. You convulse around his dick as you're getting closer to your climax again. Your body arches up as you cum. Yahya’s strokes begin getting sloppy, making a squelch sound. He floods his nut inside you. He rests his head on your neck and catches his breath.

He gets up off you and stands up to examine your exhausted body. You lift your head to look at him. He smiles and looks at you with a smirk. “If you think I can go again, you’re a madman.” You laugh and lay your head back on your bed. “Nah, I just want you to clean this dick up.” His smirk grows.

You laugh and look at him. His dick was still hard. You had to show the fuck out when giving this man head. For fucking you like that, you wanted to place him on a high throne for blessing you with good dick like that. You get on your knees and you place his dick in your mouth. You bob your head up and down.

He throws his head back, “Shit.” He grips your head and starts fucking your mouth. He goes faster, making his dick hit the back of your throat. “Shit mamas. You tryna make me cum again. I just clean it.”

You pop his dick out your mouth and spit on it to get it wet. As your saliva drips to his balls, you catch it and start sucking on his balls. Your hand starts stroking his thick shaft fast. You start tasting his precum, giggling. “Nut for me, daddy.”

You come back up and suck his dick again, faster this time. His body starts shivering as he looks down at you. “You are crazy.” He groans as his dick begins to twitch in your mouth. A second later, he starts coming into your mouth. You swallow and look at him.

He falls back on the bed and face palms. “Shit! That was amazing.” You lay on his chest, “Yes it was.” You giggle and kiss his glistening sweaty chest. “Should have let me do that sooner.” He says before kissing your forehead. You yawn, “Yeah. I definitely should have.”

You are happy you threw that rule out of the way. Because you just got the best dick your pussy has ever had. But you couldn’t help but think how it would affect your relationship and your work with Yahya or if would it affect it at all. You shrug, putting off as a problem future you would have to deal with. Besides, you’re not going to let your thoughts ruin your high from the amazing sex you just had.

You two lay in bed talking for a bit, until you hear light snores coming from Yahya. You laugh quietly, kiss his cheek, and go to sleep.

#itsbackwoodsbby #poc writer #x black fem reader #black fanfic writer #black fanfiction #smut #black writer #celebrities #black tumblr #yahya abdul mateen ii smut #yahya abdul mateen ii #yahya abdul mateen ii x black fem reader #tw drugs #drug dealer yahya #aquaman #black manta

[viviloveschilde]

RRRAAAAAH CONGRATS ON 100 LIKESS

I've had this kinda brainrot for a while. Since exams r coming up i imagine a mordern au where we're busy studying but our beloved ginger needs attention so he just ends up laying his head on our lap while we study<3<3<3<3 the sound of the calculator clicking and occasional head pats lulling him to sleep on our lap :(

Omg! Adorbssss<333~Awee... No problem anon, let me fulfill ur dreams ✧(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ Had a ton of fun wiring this, hope u eniy it~

-Vi

𝙈𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙣 𝙖/𝙪 𝘾𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙚 𝙭 𝙁𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅

~𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮~

The exams were coming up. Being the good student you were, obviously you were prepared for the exam! But, since a little last minute revision doesn't hurt, why not do it, right?

This seemed like a great idea to you, but to Childe...Horrific. Scary. Terrifying. What was he going to do without you!? Your clingy boyfriend wanted to be with you every single second of your life.

Although it was a tiny bit annoying sometimes, you still found it absolutely adorable.

Childe had insisted he join you while you were studying. He even went as far as to pinky promise that he would study with you and not fool around, but here he was, whining for your attention.

He wanted your attention, no, he NEEDED it, and desperately.

"Baby, look at my handsome face, not the boring math worksheet~"

He whined teasingly while nudging your shoulder.

He still could not get any reaction from you but he had a secret weapon under his sleeve. He knew it would get your attention. Your cute boyfriend, laying his head on your soft, plush thighs. Childe seemed to have an obsession with your thighs and your lap.

He gently laid his head onto your thighs, his ginger locks tickling the bare skin. You were only wearing shorts, after all, comfort mattered the most when you were in your apartment.

You let out a soft giggle while the ticklish sensation sent a spark of surprise down your spine. You lovingly looked at him. He was so handsome. Handsome was an understatement. He was the hottest man you had ever seen.

You could not resist but you knew that your examinations were more important. You gave him a few light headpats before continuing to do your math worksheet.

Light clicks from your calculator was all that could be heard alongside the soft blowing sounds from the fan. You had not realised that Childe had fell asleep.

Cuteness overload! His adorable face! And he fell asleep on your thighs?! Too adorable! You lovingly planted a kiss on his forehead after carrying him to your bed.

It was a lot of work for a girl like you, which basically looked micro-sized compared to your handsome boyfriend.

Suddenly, he awoke sleepily from his slumber after you kissed him. He looked at you and gave you a gentle smile.

"Come join me, angel... You can study later...please..."

He pleaded, with his voice still raspy from awaking from his peaceful slumber.

How could you resist his puppy dog eyes begging you to stay with him. Without a second thought, you jumped into his arms, feeling his calloused hands snaking around your waist.

This was definitely a perfect moment between the two of you, although you had not planned for this to happen. Cuddles are still the best after all.

~END~

Wow, it was kind of short (sorry ╥﹏╥) but so adorable~ Thanks anon for the wonderful request. I had a ton of fun writing it! If everyone reading wouldn't mind offering me their precious likes and follows on their way our, I would greatly appreciate it~

-Vi

Side note: Send more requests it's so fun~ I write for genshin men and women. Im not comfy writing gay or lesbian fics so pls do not do so. Ty for ur cooperation~ (*´∇`)ﾉ

●𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑺 𝑩𝑬𝑳𝑶𝑾●

#childe #childe fluff #childe genshin impact #childe tartagalia #childe x y/n #genshin #genshin fluff #genshin tartagalia #childe x reader #genshin ajax #anon ask #thank you anon #anon request #ajax x y/n #ajax x you #childe tartaglia ajax #genshin childe #tartaglia

[chweverni]

got the music in you, baby

pairing - lee jung chan (dino) x reader synopsis - yes, you are the youngest in your family; yes, you are the perfect pancake with no personality; yes, you're overlooked, a lot actually. and maybe a guy you had no intention of making friends with, actually gets you. and maybe you kinda like it. warnings; kinda angsty, they turn from ?? to ??(with possibilities of being lovers in the near future), reader trauma dumps to dino but that's all! (also this kinda revolves around middle school so sorry for that <3) author's note; exam szn ended y'all!! but this was kinda written based on my life lol i've been having a hard time irl lately but its fine, bc just like dino, i never bow <3 btw dino is pink!!

-

today's the last day of exams, you're sitting in front of your school desk, with your answer sheet which you revised three times already. honestly, the test today was quite easy, and you don't understand why you cried over the stupid dates in history when they came up in MCQs instead. you sighed, as you checked the wall clock.

three minutes more till the final bell. you began spinning your pen in your hand impatiently, as the invigilator got up from his seat to collect your papers. you packed your belongings in your bag and the bell finally rung. chaos was restored as students got up from their seats to discuss their answers with their peers.

you would've talked with them too, if it weren't for lee jung chan, your desk mate who got you first.

"y/n-nie!! wait up for me! we have to talk!"

you turned around to face the boy in confusion, as he smiled at you. "how'd you do in your test?". why was he asking me that? you tilted your head towards the right and asked why. chan simply replied, "eh just curious how my amazing desk mate did in her test, nothing more, nothing less." he shot out his smile again, this time holding your shoulders and turning you back towards the door, as he pushed you outside along with him.

"okay, what do you want?"

"so i was wondering if you'd tell me what you were up to just a few days earlier at the convenience store nearby at 10 pm into the night?"

what the fuck. how'd he know about that?

okay, let's rewind back to last saturday and find out.

"mom! i ranked second in that math olympiad i attempted earlier!", you screamed from your room with excitement. you ran outside your room, carrying your laptop to the kitchen to show her the e-mail. "how much did your sister get? check that for me pretty please." your mom replied, eyes fixated on the vegetables she was cutting on the cutting board. ouch. you did as she asked anyway and replied,

"she got 52 originally but after counting in the negative marks, its added up to 32, placing her on the 15th Merit rank."

your older sister stood beside your mom, explaining why she scored less, your achievement being long forgotten. i mean, is wanting encouragement and appreciation from your parents selfish? you watched your mom as she comforted her and talked about some tuition classes your sister could sign up for to score better next time.

your mother admired your sister more, because the first pancake is always spoilt, and has more personality, with burnt edges and unwanted curves which made it interesting. the second ones were more perfect, made with care in the beginning, just to be eaten afterwards. they had no personality or quirks. and maybe you were fine with being perfect. but maybe not. atleast not this time.

you got up, headed to your room, picked up some money from the drawer and went outside to the convenience store nearby. the clock read 9:45 pm. but man, you really craved something spicy to burn down your throat because a big lump had formed there, and it was definitely not thinking of going away.

you went inside, and bought two cups of instant ramen and opened one immediately as you sat on one of the mini tables there to eat.

you wanted to feel fine, but the parasitic thought of being an unwanted child rang at the back of your head. you had experienced numerous instances where your achievements were overlooked by your lovely sister, who always seemed to do it better the second chance. you didn't really mind it all these years, but it had finally reached your head and wasn't planning on leaving.

thinking about it involuntarily pulled out tears from you and you began ugly crying your eyes and heart out as you slurped in the spicy ramen. god, this felt so good. all the weird burdens you tucked away in your sleep were lifting off of your body and you cried more. it was therapeutic to do and you wondered why you didn't do it sooner.

and little did you know, lee jung chan, your deskmate at school, who had just gotten there to get himself a can of soda, had the perfect luck to be a witness to this.

now, he could let it go, but he could not, possibly.

because if it weren't for his very big and obvious to everyone but not you crush on you that made him stop on his way back and think about approaching you after exams at school, he would've totally just stride back home and study.

back to the hallways, dino stared at you with high expectations, that you'll tell him what happened, while you just stood there,

"why are we doing this again? i think we've talked like three times this whole year."

"it's actually eight.. but never mind!"

"you counted?"

dino just cleared his throat and looked at you with those piercing eyes of his again.

i mean trauma dumping in front of a teenage boy who you barely knew didn't feel like a foreign concept because boys were stupid and how was chan any different?

but something about his demeanor made you dumber, and you proceeded to tell him everything about last saturday, as you two walked out the school, towards that same convenience store.

chan was surprisingly a good listener and you noticed that he would think it through and ask," can i advise you on this?", which you found really cute but you're too tough to actually admit it.

both of you counted the money you had on yourselves and bought two cups of instant ramen again.

now you stood across dino, in a mini table, and your conversation now concerned cats, instead of your very terrible saturday.

"don't you think naming cats Ivan, The Terrible would actually be accurate? as they literally assert their dominance on your bed after they become comfy!"

"and how would you know that?"

you asked, a playful smile plastered on your face, as you noticed the slight red blush that ran through his face due to the spice levels of the ramen. that kinda made your heart flutter, but you ignored that. chan replied soon after with a cute pout on his face, "because i own one! they're so bossy! i literally scoop their heavy duties with my hand and that's how they reward me." You chuckled at his words.

"did you just.. chuckle?" "am i not allowed to .. ?" "so you did!"

chan's smile grew wider over the seconds and he began rambling with the speed of light, "OMG! i made you smile! oh wait- a chuckle is more than just a smile! i made your mood just ten times brighter! we should totally hang out more! see, our interests line up so well! you're welcome to come and hang in my house anytime, y/n-nie! i'm always there, teehee."

woah.

that was.. something.

why'd that something make you feel giddy?

-

the end! (or nah depends on you! yes, you! lmk if you want an extension of this!!)

all creds to chweverni only on tumblr. come back for more! reqs for short drabbles are now open woohoo!!!!

#seventeen #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #lee jung chan x reader #dino fluff #dino x reader #dino svt #lee jung chan svt #lee jung chan #im a big dinonara #the ending was rushed #im so sorry

[uncontrolledfission]

day 30 [and 29] of 100 days of productivity 💌

I posted day 29 yesterday and then it just disappeared. Long forgotten. Sayonara. And I was so fed up I couldn’t be bothered to retype it. But what I did yesterday was revise for today’s physics test and briefly talk to my crush in the library.

Said physics test went wonderfully! I’m excited to know what I got. I’ve got a bit of a one-sided rivalry with a very intelligent boy in my class. I want to beat him and I hope I did. I managed to answer every question and gave a confident answer, so let’s hope I did well! I’m proud.

I love physics lessons so much. My teachers are wonderful. My electricity teacher, especially, is an absolute sweetheart. I am not very confident at solving physics problems for reasons I can’t seem to pinpoint, so when I ask him to look over my work, he always gives me a cheery response akin to work, “absolutely smashed it! Don’t sound so unsure, have some confidence :)” genuinely so sweet.

My forces teacher is like that but he conceals it. He’s strict 95% of the time but he’s kind 1-on-1 and is very thoughtful to hard-working students. He’s a good dude.

I have quadruple maths today, too, haha! I should mention, in my last test, I was two marks off an A*,,, please be serious. I was right when I said I got everything question right but absolutely butchered the final 9-marker because I didn’t understand it properly.

We started trigonometric identities with my calc teacher today. I was surprised I was understanding it quite quickly! I’m proud of myself.

Mechanics classes are always a struggle because I just struggle to learn from my teacher’s… eccentric teaching style. He’s a good teacher and a good person, but it just doesn’t work for me, I don’t know. But I went home and went over the work, and I kid you not, I was getting all of it. I can’t begin to describe how proud I am.

But it’s late, since it was the quadruple maths and double physics day, so I always have a lot to do when I get home. Regardless, it was a good day, and let’s hope for an even better tomorrow :3

- J

#studyblr #physics #stem #alevels #sixth form #gcse #100 days of productivity #day 29 #day 30

[further-from-maths]

28th Feb 2024, 12:24

I'm back lol sorry for dropping off the face of this blog. that's what IB does to you I guess

Some very cool things have happened since I was last here in writing. I got all five offers back, and I've accepted a firm and insurance choice to two wonderful places!!! Their creative writing departments were wonderful, and the lecturers at my firm were genuinely inspiring to listen to. To get in, I need a 6 in English, and 36 points overall. I think I can do it. My current goals/predictions are:

HL English LangLit: 6 needed for uni, and I managed it in my one mock since switching up. If I get a 5 I can still get into my insurance just fine, but I REALLY want to get into my first choice if I can.

HL Psychology: 7 is the goal. I really want a 7, and there's no excuse barring a lack of revision to not get one. My psychology department is genuinely incredible, and I've done very well in all my mocks. I really want to make them proud so I'm hoping the essays they give us are kind.

HL Global Politics: 7 suggested by the mocks so far, but I'm not the most confident in my politics abilities. I do want a 7 in it if possible though because I really like my politics teacher and also want to make him proud lmao

SL CompSci: 7 almost certain considering my mock grades thus far. I'm not worried tbh.

SL Maths Analysis: 7 PLEASE Maths is so easy to revise and it's easy points!!

AB German: 6 is probably more realistic than a 7 because too many minor slip ups can sink the grade completely, but I really want a 7 too.

Core: 2 is what I'm expecting tbh. My EE and TOK were both fine but I don't think they were WOW yk. I'm expecting a B for my EE hopefully and a B for my TOK, but if I've made my corrections well then hugely maybe I can get an A, which would give 3 points????? That's assuming my EE is in fact B-worthy which I really have no clue about.

Obviously I want to get as high as I can, but if I get a minimum of a 6 in everything, that's still more than enough with Core. I know I'm extremely likely to get a 7 in at least CompSci, so at a minimum I'm thinking I'll get 39 unless core flops?? My goal is to get over 40 though:))))

I'm terrified of making some kind of mistake that gets me disqualified. I know that's irrational but the fear is still there. My English teacher kinda spooked me by saying someone once failed their diploma because they didn't put page numbers in their EE so uh.......................... woooooooo. I'malso terrified about AI writing affeciting me. I haven't touched AI for anything I've done for school ever, but I'm nervous that the AI checker will be bad:( And what if I haven't cited something correctly?????? aaaaaaaaaaaa:(((((((((( Also as a heads up, for this exact reason, I won't be liveblogging my exams lol. I don't want to risk saying anything I'm not supposed to regarding the exams, so I'll make notes and post about them after results day or so. If I post anything during exam season, it'll probably be good-luck posts and nothing more lmao.

We've finished content in pretty much every subject now, which is exciting!! IAs are nearly done -- just waiting for final confirmation that a handful of them are ready for submission, and I've got my computer science IA to finish correcting. The end is scarily close.

Feeling terrified, but as long as I keep my head down and work hard, it'll be alright. Less than 11 weeks left. Let’s do this.

75 days until.

#studyblr #study blog #ib student #ib studyblr #ibdp #further from maths #further from feelings #ib psychology #ib global politics #ib english language and literature #ib computer science #ib maths analysis and approaches #ib german ab initio #I’m back lamoooo #gonna post more regularly again #they say #75 days until

[johaerys-writes]

Chapter 2: Somewhat Slightly Dazed

“What are you doing?”

Patroclus tears his eyes from the Maths book in his lap. Achilles’ hair is messy from his afternoon nap, framing a face that’s still soft with sleep. He’s wearing an old, oversized T-shirt that reads ‘Babis' grill’, followed by a phone number and address in worn white letters that are barely legible now.

“Studying,” Patroclus replies, needlessly— he thinks it’s quite obvious. 

His answer doesn’t seem to please Achilles in the slightest. He scrunches his nose in distaste as he plops on the chair beside him.  

“I don’t understand why you insist on doing that," he says. Laika is lying at Patroclus' feet on the porch floor; Achilles bends to scratch her behind the ears. "School doesn’t start until September. There’s plenty of time until then still.” 

Patroclus doesn’t quite know himself why he started his revisions so early this year; perhaps the fact that he has no idea what his new school is going to be like, and that this has been keeping him awake at night, has something to do with it. It’s best to always be prepared, and Maths was always his biggest weakness. When his mother had still been around, and had been lucid enough to help him with homework, he had gotten on reasonably well. But that all changed a year and a half ago. Patroclus hadn’t had much time —or mind— to study for Maths, or any other subject, and his grades towards the end showed that. The thought of showing up at a new school and being the worst student in the class doesn’t exactly sit right with him. 

He’s been trying to squeeze a couple hours of study per day before the term starts, and so far it’s been going okay. He has revised as much of last year as he could, and has made decent headway into Physics as well— he thinks perhaps he might have made a bigger dent in it, had Achilles not been pestering him every chance he got. 

"I'm bored," Achilles declares. "Let's do something."

"You should study with me."

"I know those things already." 

"Some revision never hurt anyone."

"What's the use? We're just going to do it all again in September."

Patroclus doesn't respond, too busy trying to solve an equation. Achilles sighs loudly and sinks lower in his chair, tapping his foot on the floor.

"Just be quiet for a minute, okay? I need to figure this out."

“I could help you with it."

Patroclus frowns and shakes his head. He'd rather find the answers by himself. 

Achilles remains quiet and still for all of five minutes –a record time for him– before reaching for his guitar. Patroclus has long ago given up trying to figure out which song he's playing; most of the time it’s something of Achilles’ own devising, or a tune he picked up somewhere and that he has changed beyond recognition. He's humming a little under his breath now, too, and though Patroclus tries his best not to get distracted, Achilles' soft, breathy singing in the quiet of the afternoon is more than a little distracting. 

“Rise, my pretty girl,” Achilles murmurs, fingers brushing the strings, “I see you see me through your window.” 

Laika at his feet wags her tail sleepily, nose buried between her legs that are stretched out before her. 

“Don’t turn your nose up; well, you can, if you need to, you won’t be the first or last.” 

In the gooey, slow heat of late summer, Achilles’ guitar and his voice are pretty much the only sounds for miles, save for the occasional tractor in the distance and the doves hooting softly, perched on the power lines. He scratches the strings harder as he works his way towards the chorus. 

“It must strain you, to look down so far from your father’s house; and I know what a louse like me in this house could do for you. ”

He smiles a little when Patroclus glances up at him, smug and obviously pleased that he’s finally got his attention. Even Laika raises her head, tongue lolling as she senses his excitement. 

“Come now, you could spend the morning walking with me quite amazed, as I’m unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed.” 

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

"I'm not talking to you, you're studying." Patroclus rolls his eyes and laughs, at the same time that Achilles tells Laika, "We shouldn't bother Pat when he's studying, should we, girl?"

Laika woofs in assent and gets up, dancing around Achilles' feet as he kicks off the plastic porch chair and hops down the steps to the yard. 

"Rise, my pretty girl, I see you see me through your window."

Patroclus watches Laika jump and bark while Achilles happily serenades her around the yard with his guitar, weaving through the orange trees. The Maths homework is forgotten on the table, and honestly, Patroclus can't care very much about that. It was a losing battle anyway, trying to study when Achilles is in one of those moods. 

He's so busy enjoying the show —Achilles and the dog are raising a ruckus now; it's a good thing their closest neighbours are about a mile away— that he doesn't notice Mr Pelides walking out onto the porch until he's standing right next to him.

He's got his sunglasses on and he's wearing his good shirt, and a cigar is already hanging from his lips. Smoke mingled with strong cologne reaches Patroclus' nostrils.

“Hard at work, the two of you, I see.” 

Read the rest on AO3

#patrochilles #the song of achilles #achilles #patroclus #tsoa #hades game #achilles/patroclus #johaerys writes #bae suggested i add a tornado somewhere in the graphic and you know what #she's right #achilles IS the tornado lmao

[hinacu-arts]

Actually typing on my computer for once so I'm able to use the read more lol. I need you guys to tell me if you want this in

BBC - The Fic

which would either be as its own chapter or Casey reading it. Theres also the option of it becoming a short little companion story/fic, and im also considering writing a final battle deal but I'm not sure I want both in BBC. Here's the first part of it, I cant really write more until the actual fic is written unless I got more technical on the How Do We Solve This Problem line of convo.

Reminder that this is a group chat on all of 2012's phones, that's why their names are there. Debating on whether or not to change that. The first section is copy and pasted from the section that was in Chp 2. I tried to space it out like actual texting, but tumblr was fighting me so thats why there are random "."s in there

Key Donnie = in 1987 (the first TV show) Mikey = in 1990 (the first live action movies from 90,91, and 93) April = in 2003 (the second TV show) Leo = in 2007 (the CGI animated movie) Raph = in 2014 (the second live action movies from 2014 and 2016) Casey = in 2018 (rottmnt)

LEO: anyone copy?

.

APRIL: copy

.

RAPH: hallelujah. Get me out of this hell

.

LEO: not yet. Donnie says he needs a response by everyone before he can track your locations

LEO: hi other versions of us -Mikey

.

DONNIE: the tech i have to work with here is ancient i hate it. No computer needs to be this chunky

.

MIKEY: mikey is asleep but his phone is receiving -Donnie

.

CASEY: fucking finally. Do you know how many frequencies i had to try to get these messages to come in. not to mention how i had to pry the phone out of Leo's hands so i could take it apart

CASEY: anyways happy to report we haven't gotten him killed yet

CASEY: for the record he came to us bruised that was not our fault

APRIL: great. We can start narrowing down locations now -Don

CASEY: spoke too soon Casey found out about your Casey and she's demanding a fight to the death. Casey might be coming home in pieces

RAPH: wtf

CASEY: do you want him in a box or can i send him in a crate?

RAPH: wtf -Donnie

CASEY: youre right, if he's bleeding the blood will ooze out

.

MIKEY: wtf -everyone here

LEO: wtf -Donnie

DONNIE: i dont know to respond to this -both Donnies

RAPH: damn. put him in a cooler, those are water tight -April

RAPH: please do not listen to her and please dont let any maiming occur -Donnie

----------------------------------------------------------------------

RAPH: by any chance has anyone done the calculations for their own universe? I did ours a couple years ago and its Universe 2-0-1-4 -Donnie

DONNIE: Donnie says this universe is 1-9-8-7. Our home universe is 2-0-1-2

ARPIL: Don says this one is 2003

LEO: Donnie says this is Earth 2,007

RAPH: great. We just cut down a lot of time trying to figure that out. Now we just need to track and calculate your Mikey and Casey’s locations

APRIL: their Dons have probably already done the work themselves. @Mikey @Casey -Don

.

DONNIE: they aren’t answering. Either they can’t get to the computer or they’re sleeping. Lets just begin the math ourselves. Me and Donnie will get started on Mikey. Who wants to track Casey?

LEO: I’ve been collecting data the whole time, I’ll take Casey. The universe he landed in sounds hardcore, if that Donnie wasn’t exaggerating. Casey’s hardcore but we should get him out of there as soon as possible -Donnie

LEO: I think he’s somewhere between 2010 and 2030. Mikey might be in the 1990s -Donnie

RAPH: I don’t know about you guys, but interdimensional travel is not a norm here -Donnie

LEO: Same. Its happened before but I wasn’t prepared to collect data -Donnie

CASEY: @Leo close. We’re Universe 2-0-1-8. And inta-dimensional travel and inter-dimensional travel is a norm here, but not inter-universe travel

.

MIKEY: Donnie says this is universe 19 90

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

CASEY: lmao look at this touch starved fool [5 attachments: couchcuddling.png]

CASEY: I didn’t know humans could turn that red -Mike

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

CASEY: WHATS UP BITCHES NEON LEON IS HERE

CASEY: forgive my brother he is easily excitable -D

CASEY: SO I HEARD YOU NEED PORTAL HELP -L

CASEY: Leo I swear to pizza supreme I will take away your caps feature -D

CASEY: boo no fun. You know we could be in the same room and not have to confuse everyone with two people talking from the same server -L

CASEY: I knew giving you access would be a mistake -D

CASEY: Just send that update video you and Mikey put together for their Casey’s friends -D

CASEY: [attachment: weekoneupdate.mp4] thought you all might like proof of life since Donnie is a horrible texter. Don’t worry about that last part I took care of it. -L

APRIL: the video quality is all corrupted and the only sound I hear is the words “it’s a hard knock life for us” on repeat -Don

RAPH: why is Casey on fire?

CASEY: I told you I took care of it -L

CASEY: he was trying to show off -D

MIKEY: the file won’t download

CASEY: rip -L

CASEY: I will boot you -D

CASEY: but I want to say hi -Mike

CASEY: and Raph wants everyone to know that he’s trying his best to keep Casey alive but that Casey is giving him gray scales -Mike LEO: Can we agree to keep this chat for getting you all back home data and planning only? -Donnie

LEO: how on earth did you get Casey to agree to a spa day?

CASEY: we have girls night once every two weeks. He either had to join or vacate the premises -D

CASEY: he really enjoyed himself! -Mike

CASEY: anyways I agree lets keep this /emergency chat/ open for data and updates only. Hey Leo -D

CASEY: Yes? -L

CASEY: Adios bitch -D

-------- CASEY HAS BEEN BLOCKED FOR 24 HOURS --------

MIKEY: you can block people!?!?!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

CASEY: [attachment: lakeprank.mp4]

RAPH: Donnie’s mad that wasn’t a emergency “im dying” video because he nearly had a heart attack when the whole lair alerted us but the rest of us are laughing so hard. Your April has a great reporter voice. RIP Casey Jones, for his dignity died today. -April

RAPH: also Donnie thinks its fascinating you all look so different/are different turtles. -April

.

LEO: I want to be mad because that also gave me a heart attack but that was funny af. Even through all the grainy quality -Donnie

DONNIE: well both us Donnies are pissed because the video can’t display on these ancient computers and we thought someone died since this is a /emergency/ chat

DONNIE: Leo when did you have the time to teach him 2010s text slang?

LEO: he’s standing next to me rn and telling me what to say -Donnie

.

CASEY: You are all the same turtle species? man your Draxums must be boring. At least ours has some class. Some finesse. Appreciates the art of presentation. What did yours do? Go to the pet store and buy the first four turtles he saw for his experiments? -L

APRIL: we don’t have a Draxum and April says her universe doesn’t either -Don

MIKEY: Never heard of the guy -Donnie

LEO: No draxum and we were never apart of any experiments.

CASEY: so you guys WERENT created through genetic engineering for the sole purpose of being a bioweapon/supersoliders meant to lead armies to wipe out humanity? -L

MIKEY: We were mutated on accident

RAPH: wtf

APRIL: I don’t know how to respond to this, but no we were not -Don

.

LEO: I told you their world was hardcore -Donnie

CASEY: really? Case Man says its pretty chill compared to his. Like he doesn’t have Run Of The Mill but he does have evil aliens so -L

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

#bbc the fic #hinacu wip

[catastrxblues]

Bridgerton / season one episode one

you know what, i'm doing it. As a treat before plunging myself into the deep horror of biology revision (my actual worst enemy aside from ap math). this will be just very messy snippets of my thoughts by the way !! Sorry if you're expecting analyzation and the incoherent sentences ended up ruining your day, you've been warned.

first of all, "my lord" as a pet name? ummm thinking. thinking very hard.

i actually love eloise sm. and her and daphne are so cute, like just in this scene alone

this scene <//3

this is actually so cute??

the enemies-to-lovers banter brewing in this scene *chef's kiss*

she ate this up left no crumbs btw

please, please, please, let her, let her, let her get what she wants. i think marina thompson is an angel and deserve the world, but PLEASE im begging on my knees for them. FOR PEN. she's literally a sweetie pie and i want to see her getting what she wants and deserves! end of discussion. (also colin?? yes sir)

before moving on to the ending, i need to talk about that scene with marina thompson and lady featherington. i was seriously scared for her life 😭 want to slap that lady back for what she did to her.

this scene is so terrifying to watch, to be honest. what a piece of shit.

her punching him though >>>

and our enemies-to-lovers has turned into fake romance // with benefits?? i was silently screaming and giggling. this is so fun. i love this.

don't know bestie i think i might have just found a new obsession i don't have the time and space and resources for...

(if this went downhill, you never see me. i don't know anything guys i swear. I’m really scared that some of these characters i said i like ended up the opposite thing by the end of the show 😭)

#genuinely scared of tagging #bridgerton #kinda don't want anyone to read this tbh 😭 #so pls don't #daphne bridgerton

[chronicallyonlinecath]

Sunday, 29th January 2023 - End of week recap

Right, let's go day by day (I am currently on a bunch call with Matty, Bella, Peter and Carter) I've been gone for a while, and I apologize. I suppose a lot has happened, and I just haven't had time to write these at night. I've actually been sleeping!!

Thursday - I brought a monster in the morning and practically chugged it in maths to avoid the comments about coping mechanisms coming from Wyvern&Co. Most of my day was relatively boring, but big band was entertaining, as usual. Wyvern spent most of it trying to persuade me as to why he was dating material + my type (I swear he's taken anyway) and then when Andrew came in from his geography revision sessions, he stole my sax's neck, stared at it as if he didn't know what he'd just done, and burst into a fit of endless laughter. Like an idiot, I joined him. Wyvern stared at us like we were insane. I suppose we are. However, Sheldon sent several odd messages tat made me question how he sees me. And I was mildly uncomfortable.

Friday - Chamber choir in the morning, followed by saxy brass, where Andrew wreaked havoc as usual. I spent chemistry arguing back and forth with Matty and Harry as to why I should not ask out Andrew, while Harry told me it would be better to be rejected than mope for forever. And that sent the cogs turning in my head. How hard could it be to ask out Andrew? Would it really be so bad if he rejected me? And the thought persisted into my head for the rest of the day. Until Sheldon asked me to hang out this weekend, and I denied, revealing I felt uncomfortable, to which he replied; "I know I make you uncomfortable just please get better at seeing me" I'm sorry, what? You've acknowledged you make me uncomfortable, and you're telling me to just get better? So I told him to leave me alone, and he has so far. So far.

Saturday - The question of asking out Andrew plagued me for most of the day. I walked into town with Wini and Harvey, and brought my mum, Alison and Wini stuff for their birthdays coming up soon. It was nice, since I didn't feel like I was third-wheeling, even though I basically was. They're good fun to walk about with though, and I was grateful for their company. The afternoon though, was spent overthinking and worrying about the one question pounding constantly into my brain; "What would happen if I asked out Andrew?" I went as far as consulting a friend from out of school who is basically my wife, and she told me to ask him out on call. Which I didn't, as I do not have the guts. In the end, I found myself consulting Wyvern, the last person I'd go to for advice in any other situation. Except, he's the closest person (other than Mattson) who I talk to who is friends with Andrew. I first had to confess I liked Andrew, and then asked two questions. 1) Would he make it awkward? 2) What would his answer be? Wyvern confirmed that Andrew would not make it awkward, but he would definitely say no. Not a 'very likely', a 100%, definite no. Which makes sense, and I saw it coming. Am I upset? No, not really. I didn't get rejected upfront. However, the risk of consulting Wyvern is the risk the entire school is going to find out. A risk I was willing to take, before my brain lost all sense of reasoning and actually asked Andrew out. Which would have been upfront rejection, and humiliation, no doubt. I am hoping Wyvern keeps his mouth shut. We'll see tomorrow, I suppose.

Sunday - And today was as usual, a boring, average Sunday. However, I did lots of homework, including a small box of origami roses for Alison for her birthday. And now Harley has joined the call. I'm not entirely sure what they're doing, but they're building planes and it's not going 100% to plan, I think. Tomorrow may be interesting. Perhaps.

~CM

[vvatchword]

Finally, a normal fucking work month.

Unlike previous months, where I was All Generation, All the Time, this month was typified by research and editing and Deep Pondering. I wrote fewer words, and I also went through older chapters to delete awkward turns of phrase and fix strange prose and do a bit of developmental editing. Early chapters are good in their own ways, but they’re also... uh... see, I liked words very well back in 2010. Let’s just say I wanted to put all of them in at the same time. I have been deleting SO many prepositional phrases.

There are enormous gaps in this story, not only plot-related, but in rhythm, in tone, in characterization, in mood. It is a fucking MESS and fixing it is going to be MESSY. And lord am I having a good time. I didn’t expect to have a good time; this kind of work requires an eye for minutia, and some of the chapters are so old that I have stopped reading them clearly.

I’m attempting to use more of Scrivener’s tools. You can mark different documents at different stages (First Draft, Revised Draft, Final Draft--see bottom right-hand corner of the screen) and use “Labels” (those colored dots). Basically, green means it’s good to go. I switch the font to Baskerville, re-read everything, make sure all the formatting has stayed the same, and fix or note awkward spots. The most dreaded color right now is brown and peach: brown means I need to research something, and peach means there are multiple issues in the same document.

Changing fonts helps. Putting them online where strangers might see them helps, too. For some reason, if I feel visible, I read my own work differently. (I’ve put some chapters up for commentary in my Google Drive, yay.) The two most important items right now are, 1) Is it interesting? and 2) Is it factual?

As to research, I have been reading a book on marine salvage from 1960. Best information is the following:

Do not fall while wearing a deep-sea diving rig or you may pop your eyes out

Please do not attempt welding until you have figured out where the gas tank is

There’s a lot of math in marine salvage. Fuck me,,,,,

#vvatchword #bioshock #fanfiction #writing #uprising

[allegrabanner]

thinking about that one chapter where Ogura tells Kei he’d better not flood

#ajin shitpost #ajin demi human #ajin #demi human #ajin manga #ajin kei #kei nagai #nagai kei #couldn’t get this out of my head #my brain: kei is a flood risk #me: please just let me do my maths revision