#my brain: kei is a flood risk

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Old Scars, New Blood 5

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, manipulation, borderline bullying, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader has accepted that she’ll never be wanted, not only by the man she’s crushed on for years, but by anyone. That is until a new player enters the game. (f!, short!reader)

Character: Lloyd Hansen, Thor Odinson

Note: I hope you all have a great day.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

The rest of the drive is spent in silence, at least on your end. Lloyd chews loudly, licking his chops, and sucking his fingers loudly. The rose tint is tinged gray.

You pull into the compound and shift into park sharply. You don't move as you wait for Lloyd to get out. He wastes no time ditching you, letting out a shameless belch as he drops down onto the ground. The door snaps shut behind him and you huff.

You look over at the garbage left in his place. That's exactly where you belong. Right there with the trash.

You swipe up the crumple bag filled with wrappers and his half-finished soda. The keys jingle against the paper cup as you swipe your phone out behind you. You dump what's left of the espresso from your own cup and sheath it around the other.

You elbow the door shut and cross the dark grounds. The moon is a sliver that offers little light in the dark. You approach the doors and enter to the muted ruckus of voices and clinking bottles. Yet another night of debauchery. You don't know how Lloyd hasn't fallen right in with his guests.

You go to the kitchen and jam the bag and cups deep in the bin. You have half the mind to go through the fridge and get rid of all those meals you slaved over. Just like everything else, he'll spit it back in your face.

You flip open the door and stop yourself. No, no, he got the reaction he wanted, you're only shooting your own foot at this point. 

Your eyes center on a dark bottle with a silver label. Fuck it. You snatch the prosecco and swing the fridge shut.

You march back down the hall and ignore the din that seeps through from the dining room and various other doorways. You go upstairs to your room and close yourself in, letting the wood slam into the frame. You're not even mad at him, you're furious at yourself. Why can't you just accept it?

You drop the keys on the dresser, your phone too, and keep the bottle in hand. You untwist the wire around the cork and toss it aside. You push with your thumb until it pops and a fizzle escapes the long neck. 

You watch the wisp that rises and you gulp straight from the bottle. You cringe as your eyes water from bubbles and the stringently sweet wine floods your mouth. You gulp until you can't anymore. A quarter of the bottle down, you plunk it on the nightstand and let it sink into your veins.

You undress lazily and leave your clothes on the floor. You don't give a fuck. For one night, you just don't want to think. Hell, if you drink enough, you might just do something real stupid.

You grab the bottle and carry it into the bathroom. As you bend over to twist the faucet, the wine creeps into your brain, hazing your vision in warmth. You pull the lever for the stopper and slowly push yourself straight.

You lean on the porcelain and take another swig. You pop your mouth off the rim and lift one leg, then the other. You ease into the tub, splashing slightly as the water flows higher and higher.

You lean your head back, resting the bottle against the edge as you grip it tight. The ripples around you and beneath the skin and numb the ache in your chest. You close your eyes, drinking without thinking, guzzling until your stomach is full and the tub is nearly full.

You lay as you are, basking in the heat of the water. You could fall asleep right there. Just drift beneath the surface.

That thought jerks you awake. You sit up, dizzy, and get to your knees clumsily. You reach over the side to clunk the bottle onto the tile. You flip the stopper and lift yourself.

You get out, feet crashing onto the bathmat. You cling to the tub and take a breath. You reach for the bar and drag the towel off. You don't feel too bad, just a bit unsteady.

You wrap yourself up and teeter as you bend to grab the bottle. You clamber towards the door. You nudge it all the way open with your elbow.

As you enter the room, you stagger to a halt. You don't expect the figure sitting on your bed, watching you enter as he faces the bathroom door. You blink and squeeze the bottle tighter. 

You're buzzed. No, you're drunk.

You skin singes with self-awareness. Not only of the alcohol that dulls your mind but of the single piece of fabric around you.

“It's not healthy to drink alone,” Thor grins, a paper crinkles between his fingers, “or other things.”

He shows the slip of paper and you shake your head. He clicks his tongue and squints at it, “didn't take you for a cherry girl.”

“Huh?” You tilt your head, confused until you recall hastily hiding away the receipt in your pants. Fuck.

“I don't really use lube myself. Don't need it,” he reaches to drop the paper on the night table.

“What are you…” you clamp your lips shut as a hiccup rises. You swallow it and sway. 

“I don't make promises I don't keep, “ he stands, towering over you as he comes closer.

“You… it was a joke, wasn't it?” You babble dumbly.

“Why would I joke about that?” He stops before you and wraps his hand around the bottle, “mm, not much for bubbly,” he wiggles it free and swiftly empties what's left before examining the empty bottle, “how was your little business trip, eh?”

You frown and cross your arms over the top of the towel, “why are you here?” You ask again.

“I told you–”

“No, why… why did you come here? He hates you.”

“I got that sense of him,” Thor chortles, “doesn't bother me much.” He backs away and sets the bottle on the receipt, “I'm here to play with him. Have a bit of fun. However, he's not as amusing as I hoped. But you…”

“I…” you shake your head, “I'm drunk. I need to lay down.”

“Happily,” he winks as he reaches for you.

You sidle away, “please, I…” you swallow and your eyes flit around, “I can't–”

“Because of him? You’re wasting your time,” he latches onto your hand and draws it away from your chest, “he doesn't deserve you, little lamb.”

“I don't… it isn't because of him…”

“You're a poor liar,” he tuts, “shouldn't take your lessons from him.”

“Stop,” you try to tug away.

“You don't know what you need,” he drags you towards the bed, “it isn't him.”

“Please,” you whimper.

“You don't need to be nervous, I can be nice, kitten,” he purrs as he yanks you against him.

“I can't–” you squeak into a yelp as the towel falls away from your body, “Thor, please–”

“Louder,” he swiftly picks you up with his hands on your ass. 

You writhe against him as he spins and falls with you onto the mattress. It bounces under you and you nearly choke on your tongue. You slap his chest as he leans over you and smothers your mouth with his.

You close your eyes as they tingle and you dig your nails into the fabric of his shirt. You whimper and feel around with your other hand as he kneads your ass. You're overcome by his brusqueness. More so, you can't handle the touch, the way his hot breath consumes you, and that flicker on your core that has the vision of another flashing in your mind.

You turn your head and let out a croak as your tears leak out, “I can't,” you whine, “you're right, okay? I want him. I'm a stupid girl that wants someone like him.”

You bring your hand up to shield your face as he lifts himself on his elbow. He hovers over you as you devolve into sobs, “I'm pathetic.”

“Shhhh,” the soft stroke along your cheek startles you, “little kitty,” he slithers, “shhh.”

He shifts and comes down to his side. He slips his arm under your neck as you curl up, trying to disappear. He rolls you towards him so your face is against his shoulder. He pets your head as he holds you.

“Oh, little one,” he cooes, “it hurts now… but I can make it so much better.”

He stays like that, embracing you as you quake in your despair. You keep your face buried against his shirt as his thick muscles fill you with a sense of security. His other hand rests on your hip but does not wander.

Heaviness drapes over you and your body slowly slackens. The wine dulls your nerves and swirls in your head. You feel yourself spiraling and quickly fade into the void.

❤️‍🩹

Your brow twitches and your nose itches. You nearly smack yourself as you throw your hand up and groan. The effort makes you wince.

Ugh, hungover. It's been a while.

You bend your leg and the blanket falls away to uncover your naked thigh. You frown and peek down as you lift the blanket. No clothes. You blanch and lay back, trying to summon the memories of the previous night.

The buzzing of the shower draws your attention away from your internal search. Along with the thrum is the deep baritone singing a song you've never heard. You blink, long and hard, and push yourself up.

Your heart feels as if it's stopped beating. Your breath catches and you look around the room. There's clothing hung over the chair in the corner. Men's clothes.

Oh god.

You wouldn't…

As the melody carries, slightly offkey, you recognise the singer. Thor. Oh. Oh no.

You curl your fingers against the mattress, barely able to hold yourself up. You remember the bath and then him waiting and him on top of you but everything else is gone. How can you not remember? 

A pit plunges down to your stomach. No, you're not like that. You've held out all these years…

Well, how many chances did you really get?

The shower cranks off and you gulp, hugging the blanket against your chest as you sidle around to the edge of the bed. You can hear him moving around, humming. You don't know what to do.

As the door opens, you try to think of what to say. Hi, good morning, what the heck happened last night?

You're speechless as he emerges butt naked. Brazen as he has himself on full display. Full display.

You snap your mouth shut as he uses a towel to dry his hair and winks as he drops it down to wrap his waist. 

“Morning, kitten,” he growls, “you seem chipper.”

You try to talk but can only cough. You reach to touch your throat and rub the lump free, “Thor, what… last night…” your voice cracks with each syllable.

“Ha, you think we…” he lets the suggestion dangle and scoffs.

You nod. Of course, he's all bluster. He wouldn't actually want you.

“When it happens, you will remember it,” he taunts, “I like to build up to sleep fucking.”

Your jaw falls open, “Thor…”

“Besides, if anything had happened, you would remember it.”

“I…” you flutter your lashes, “I should–”

“Well here you are,” he knots the towel around his waist, “lucid…”

“...get dressed,” you complete your previous threat.

You stand but he blocks you easily. He catches your shoulders and urges you back. Your legs hit the mattress and you sit, unable to fight his strength.

“Now?” You squeak.

He rumbles with laughter as his hands trail down your arms, “just a taste. To pep me up for the day.”

“Uhhh,” your voice rolls out senselessly as his hand crawls over the blanket and he tugs it. You cling to it desperately. 

He snarls and yanks up the bottom, tossing it over his head as he seizes your thighs beneath. You yelp as he bows and pulls your legs apart. You lose hold of the blanket and it rumples at your waist as you catch yourself on the heels of your hands.

You wriggle and try to resist him as his head pokes up beneath the blankets. He has you leaning back on your arms as he pulls your legs over his shoulders. You lift a hand and slap his head as you realise what he's about to do.

Too late.

Your hand falls against his head as his hot breath tingles along your thighs. His cool tongue slips between your folds and you gasp, electricity coursing through you. Oh!

You let out a pathetic noise as you push futilely on his head, still writhing as he nuzzles further into you. His large tongue spreads wide and he flicks it up over your clit. You spasm and yipe in surprise at another zing.

“Thor,” you breathe.

He pulls back for just an instant, “louder, kitten, can't hear you under here.”

He dives back in and the bed bounces as you jolt. You try to smack him again but only urge him. You gasp and quiver helplessly, toes curling and legs tingling. What do you do?

Oh god, what can you do? This is better than any toy you got hidden in your nightstand. This is an actual man. It's real and it feels so good.

He wraps his arms around your legs and rips you down onto your back as he lifts your pelvis higher. He hums into you and it ripples up to your chest. You hiss and slap the bed as lay defeated.

“Ohhhhh,” you drone out as you succumb to the delightful swirls.

He growls and your breath hitches. He turns his head, just for a moment, and nips your thigh, “louder…”

You mewl and utter his name. It's as much a plea for him to keep going as it is for him to stop. He laps at you again and you cry out. That seems to fuel his fervour as he suckles at you eagerly. 

Your voice rises without your permission. Your whines burst from you as you claw at the blanket and squirm. You can't hold back. It's more than just that moment, it's years of waiting, of wanting.

You don't care that it's not who you wanted. You don't care if anyone else hears. You can't think straight enough for any of that as you call out Thor’s name, bucking your hips desperately into an orgasm.

#thor #dark thor #dark!thor #lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #thor x reader #lloyd hansen x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #old scars new blood #mcu #marvel #avengers #the gray man #au

[diaryofanidiot]

The Experiments

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem! Reader

Chapter list: Prologue, 1, 2, <3> , 4, 5

Cw: Swearing; torture; blood; medical experiments; panic attacks; malnourishment

Summary: For over a year, Y/N was held in a soviet experimentation facility. Forced to fight and claw her way to live, she managed to stay alive. When the 141 rescues her, they get way more intel than bargained for.

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Chapter Three

Sweat made the hospital gown irritatingly stick to my skin as I tried to get comfortable in the cot. They had left me restrained during the night, making it harder to sleep as I looked restlessly around the medical bay.

The occasional night shift nurse or guard would pass by, but other than that, I received no reprive from the torment that was my own mind.

Ghost was no longer nearby on what I assumed had been a guard duty of sorts. He must've left during the measly few hours of sleep that I had managed. With a huff, I tapped my finger to the call button and waited.

Within the minute, a nurse appeared with a friendly smile. For the night shift, she still certainly kept her bedside manner in check.

She brought over a chart with various illustrations of what I could possibly need, and I pointed to the bathroom. The kind nurse smiled with an "of course." and went to retrieve a guard to undo my restraints and help me into my wheelchair.

I don't know when I began scheming. All I knew was that if I didn't get out of this confined space and into some fresh air, I might actually snap. Sure, Soap or maybe even Gaz, if he had truly forgiven me for the hand incident, might be kind enough to take me for some in the morning.

Despite that fact that slipped my brain, my entire extended time of washing my hands was filled with thoughts of escape.

As the guard wheeled me back, I managed to slip my hand into his jacket pocket and nab the key undetected. I don't think he expected it with the friendly smile I had sacrificed to him.

Once I was back in my cot and the guard fastened my restraints, I feigned soreness in my dominant wrist.

"Too tight?" He asked me. I gave him a pitiful look before I saw the gears crank in his brain. "I suppose keeping this one loose won't do any harm. Just don't snitch. If you even can." He snickered and put a playful finger to his lips as he allowed me more wiggle room with that arm. He was kind. I hated to pull the wool over his eyes.

Once I was left alone to rest once more, I couldn't help the slight smirk on my face despite the nerves in my stomach as I maneuvered the key to the lock. It took a while of fumbling, but soon it went in, and I was able to nudge it until it clicked open.

My eyes shot up and looked around, checking my surroundings before unlocking my other hand and then my ankles. I leaned over on my cot to pull my wheelchair next to the bed. Now for the difficult part.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed while using my arms to keep balance as I lowered myself into the chair. It was excruciating on my body, but I had already decided that the ends justified the means.

Once I was seated comfortable, I glanced at the IV in my arm. There was no way I could take the bulky stand holding the drip bag with me, so I did what any not so sane person would've done and removed the needle on my own. I already had multiple infected wounds. What was the risk of one more?

Determination flooded my bones as I peered around to make sure the coast was clear. Despite my inner fire I couldn't help but jump at every sound while I maneuvered the unfamiliar place.

When I finally reached the steel door entrance of the medical building, I released a breath I didn't realize I was holding and struggled to open the door; while simultaneously fitting my wheel chair through.

It didn't matter in the end as the door opened by a force not of my own. My gaze shot upward to see an all too familiar mask staring down at me, the night sky not even providing enough light to see his eyes through the skull.

"What do you think you're doing?"

He understood my motives. I didn't know why at this exact moment. Yet, here we were. He matched my pace as he allowed me to wheel my way around the compound and revel in the fresh air.

I occasionally peeked a glance at him. He seemed so stoic but the kindness in the action showed me he was a bit more than that.

"Don't do that." He broke the silence. "I can see the damn gratitude in your face. You're still getting reprimanded when we're done here."

I broke my eyes away suddenly. He could try to play the mean guy all he wanted, but this was the biggest act of kindness I had received in so long. He would get my gratitude whether he liked it or not.

The moon was a small crescent tonight, and a cool breeze blew past occasionally. Crickets chirped, and the occasional glow of a firefly caught my attention. Just the sight if it made everything that I went through. No. That I survived feel worth it.

I had been advised to wait to speak during my physical therapy sessions but I had to communicate. Even just a little.

"You-" I coughed as I got too eager to speak. His eyes were on me now as we paused our stroll. "Saved me." I managed. He handed me a water and I sipped it gratefully.

"Didn't even know you were there. Was just doing my job." He insisted matter-of-factly. "You're welcome, though. If that's what you really want. Nothing is owed."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes once he looked away and continued our walk. Didn't he realize I owed everything to him and his team? Eventually, his hand grabbed the back of my wheelchair, halting my movements.

"We need to get you back where you belong. Cmon." He looked at me expectantly. I got the feeling that if i didn't wheel myself back that he would do it for me. With a look of dejection, I let him walk me back to that horrible place known as the medbay.

"Don't look so sad. I was told you'll only be there for a few weeks." He looked forward as he spoke. "After that, you'll only need to go in for a few checkups."

I had more questions but no way to speak them. It was frustrating, to say the least, but I couldn't help myself from trusting him.

Ghost was right. After the first two weeks, many of my injuries had healed substantially. The infections were now gone, and the sores on my neck were toward the end stages of healing.

The time spent there was agonizing, switching between physical therapy, speech therapy, and the constant check-in from the doctors and nurses.

Soap visited when Ghost couldn't watch over me. His company was nice enough to help pass the time. He was more chatty than the latter which I appreciated. Even Gaz began to visit again. He had truly forgiven me, which I couldn't lie that I had my doubts of, and his hand had healed up.

There was the occasional day or two when none of the trio would visit me. I had been told they were still cleaning up messes near the place I was rescued. Part of me wondered if they were searching for others like me. Other bioengineered weapons that is.

But my favorite time of day was the pre "lights out" walks that Ghost would occasionally take me on before retiring for the night. While he didn't speak much, he seemed to understand that they helped substantially. I liked to think that he enjoyed them as well. He certainly at least seemed less tense.

That is, until my voice began to come back to me. It was scratchy at first and hurt my throat for a bit, but soon, something phenomenal happened. I recognized it. I finally had my own voice back.

I might've abused the happiness it gave me by never shutting up...

"You really like the sound of your own voice, don't ya?" Gaz interrupted. I paused before realizing I was rambling to him.

"...am I really talking that much?"

"Well," He smiled in amusement. "I just spent the last Twenty minutes sitting here listening to you go on about the things you've observed during your stay in the medbay."

I looked away, apologizing. He laughed and shook his head.

"Nah, you're getting discharged today. You have a right to be excited."

"Just glad you guys got back in time." I smiled. The rest of the 141 walked in shortly after.

"(Y/n)!" Soap called, a giant grin on his face. Ghost and Price trailed close behind. "How ya feeling, lass?"

He placed his hand on my head, ruffling my hair. "You ready to go?"

"Yes. Please." I said, my tone filled with relief. Gaz handed me my crutches, which I had upgraded to a few days ago.

Once I was discharged and the proper paperwork was filed, I was led to a new building. One with proper rooms and facilities.

"You understand, (y/n), now that your voice is back, We are going to need you to answer some questions?" Price asked. I wasn't as close to him as I was to the other's, considering he didn't visit nearly as often. He was kind to me, though.

I nodded. "I'll do what I can. If there are others like me out there... I want to do what I can to help."

The Captain smiled at me with a hint of admiration. "Atta girl. Here you are."

They had led me to a room. It was mostly bare aside from some essential furniture. Like an actual bed, a desk, a dresser, and a trunk.

It mightve been bare... but oh how I missed privacy.

"There's some clothes in the dresser. May not be your style, but it's what's on hand." Soap spoke, pointing toward it before facing me. "Better than that hospital gown, I assume?"

I nodded eagerly before feeling a firm hand pat my back. Ghost.

"Get settled in. I'll come get you in a short while and you can give us some answers."

I watched as they took their leave, closing the door behind them. I was practically giddy at the newfound freedom as I limped over to the dresser and opened it. Plain black shirts and cargo pants were folded military style.

Part of me wondered who prepped it for me. No matter. Getting dressed on my own was an entirely new hurdle that my physical therapist hadn't addressed yet, but with the help of the bed to sit on, I managed.

I set my crutches aside and flopped back onto the mattress. Finally, my ears were greeted with... nothing. No beeping monitors, no footsteps that raised my anxiety, not the mumbled voices of nurses and doctors. My nose was given the same reprive. No smell of hand sanitizer or cleaning products. Surprisingly, less sterile smelled... better.

I don't know how long I had stayed there with my eyes closed. It felt good not to be so overwhelmed.

All good things must come to an end.

A knock at my door and the clicking of the latch made my eyes open. Ghost, despite being so large, moved quietly. I never heard him approaching.

"Ready to give us some answers?"

A/n: Once again, thank you all for the love this fic has received. All your comments and reviews have done nothing but make me smile <3 I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm gonna be making a separate post for taglist add requests soon. I'll link it to the fic once it's up as it's getting a bit chaotic 😅 if I missed you, then feel free to ask again. I've gotten a lot of replies asking to be added

Taglist: @warenai @linoskitten11 @jamesrifftapes @justmare @hk-4ever @thriving-n-jiving @katelouis98 @tayaisback @josieguts @btszn @lemmyyy0606 @msecho19 @cory-viv @cybercl0ne @randomhumans-blog @vinithechocolatevampire @embermdk @itsryuken @neothewitch @undercover-smutlover @noeltako @y2cade @ghostindeath @soundsfunbutno @untoldshortsofthefandoms @emily-roberts @x4vern1a @theimaginaryheir @bitchoftoji @stunkbiggu @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @theredviolets @v1naco @berryjuicyy @serenitysmind @mundane-frogola @sushiumex @thorninspaceandtime @tooruen @hotchlover

#cod mw2 #cod mwii #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick

[the-lavender-clown]

I cannot for the life of me decide on which of the three routes to go with for my rottmnt future au “Love and War”

Like there’s the OG plan where Donnie is Krangifed and Cass ends up having to kill him as he kills her and I love it because that scene would be so gut wrenching! And then in the last moments of life Donnie would come back to himself as his life flashes before his eyes and they die in each others arms, able to have just one last moment to love each other. I adore it and it’s so beautifully angsty.

But then there’s the second option I came up with later where instead of being Krangifed the Krang want to use Donnie for his brain but at this point the turtles have built up very good mental walls and they can’t get through them like they did Raph’s in the movie. Him being completely uncooperative they decide to throw him in the Prison Dimension for the time being while they wait to figure out a way to break through his mind or he goes insane and his walls crumble that way. Later Cass is on a mission to get the key and fails to do so, resulting in her ending up in the PD when a Krang (not sure which yet) shoves her in, only saying to say hello to her little friend and they hope he hasn’t lost his mind yet for her sake. Donnie has gone feral from his time in there but Cass is able to snap him out of it eventually even if he never really loses all of that savage aspect of him. Because of *insert PD hcs and random thoughts* they’re in there when present Leo is and play a hand in saving him and escape with him so Casey gets both parents back in the end after thinking both were dead for years.

The last one is Donnie still being Krangifed but he and Cass don’t kill each other like in the first one so they’re both alive when Casey is sent through the portal. A moment after he is Donnie comes in and tackles both accidentally sending them through the portal and because of the time that passes between Casey going in and them, no matter how brief, they get spit out a few weeks after the invasion and Casey and the present gang go to see what the random mystic energy surge was only to find an old Leo and Cass fighting and trying to subdue or kill a frankly terrifying looking Donnie. Maybe it’s a tranquilizer shot by present Dee or something else but F!Don is knocked out and they keep him under containment after that to see if they can cure him. Because he’s no longer flooded with the thoughts and orders of the future Krang hive mind and the one that exists in the present is so quiet and weak Don’s consciousness is able to actually fight back again and he occasionally has moments where he successfully breaks through for a moment to say something to his family. They can’t release him however because he’s still very much not cured. They do find a way to cure him eventually thanks to Draxum but it’s a very painful procedure where they basically burn the parasites, and consequently him, alive to get rid of them. It’s a gamble on if he’d live or not but it’s that or nothing and Cass refuses to let him live like this for any longer even at the risk of killing him. He wouldn���t want that and they all know it. They do it and he does live but it’s a long road to recovery and he’s never the same of course but really none of them are after all the trauma and at least they’re together again.

In the second and third options F!Don would find away to bring back all his brothers and April too. In the first everyone stays dead for simplicity’s sake.

They all have such good angst potential and I love them but I just can’t decide!!

#lav’s thoughts #lav’s aus #rottmnt #rottmnt future au #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt future fic #fanfic author #fanfic writer #writers of tumblr #help #ao3 writer #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt cassandra jones #rottmnt casey junior #future au

[her-storybooks]

Congrats on 700 followers! You 100% deserve it!

I just rewatched the Emily death arc and when Aaron was assessing Morgan, Morgan asks him who he talks to. my request is an imagine that focuses on how hotchner is finally with someone that he can be vulnerable with. the guy deals with so much and I feel like he keeps so much of it bottled up because he thinks he has to in order to be strong for everyone else.

Thank you so much! I thought this was a beautiful request! Please, please, please keep them coming! &lt;3

“We come in here and we talk to you. Where do you go?” Morgan’s question was valid. Everyone was being evaluated after the loss of Prentis but Hotch himself. Strauss spoke some nonsense about doing the assessments herself, which only made Hotch laugh. How could she evaluate and judge how his team where doing? She wouldn’t know the small nuisances and tells his team gave off. And for all he knew, she would use their grief as an excuse to put restrictions on their jobs. He was relieved when she agreed to let Hotch perform the evaluations himself. He could read the team better; he could assess the situation better. It was as he expected. Morgan was angry, Garcia was trying to focus on the good, Reid felt abandoned, and Rossi deflected at first. He eventually opened, admitting how heavy he felt the loss.

Once Rossi had left, Aaron was alone in his office. Sitting in the dark and typing up his assessments. All the team’s grief was written up perfectly in black ink on a government form and filed away. He closed his laptop lid and clenched his jaw and fists tightly. The emotions were bubbling up inside him, threatening to break the dam and flood painfully. He wasted no time in locking his office and heading for his car. He didn’t say goodbye to the security guard on the desk, scared that the uttering of words would break what little resistance he had left. He blared music on his radio, just to drown out the sound of his own thoughts as he drove. Every red light added another strand of panic that he wouldn’t make it home on time. Every slow driver frustrating him more and more. When he saw the entrance to his apartment garage, his car swung violently into his space. He grabbed his bag and slammed the door heavily, the echo of the sound vibrating off the concrete walls. He counted the steps he climbed, not risking the silence and stillness of the elevator. He felt alert panic in his chest as he saw his door, not sure he could get his keys out in time. The rattle of the keys against the lock felt louder in his eardrums then usual, so did the slam of the door as his back hit the wood when he closed it. He panted heavily, head lulling back onto the door in exhaustion. He couldn’t hear anything but the pounding of his heart in his ears. It was painful. It was excruciation. He felt hot, too hot. His hands clawed at his tie, trying to loosen the knot before it cut of circulation to his head. God why was it so hot in here?

“Aaron?” A gentle chime broke through the pounding of drums and brought silence to the chaos in his head. She stood dressed in dark leggings and one of his old T-shirts. It was far too big for her. The hem dangling mid-thigh and the sleeves easily reaching her elbow. It fell from one shoulder, exposing her delicate collarbone and soft skin. Her face was clean from makeup and her feet were bare from shoes or socks. She was perfect.

Her purity overwhelmed him and the dam finally broke. “I’m not okay.” He whispered hoarsely. Tears finally fell down his cheek rapidly, stinging his skin with more grief. He couldn’t’ remember her running to his side. He closed his eyes to stop the tears from falling. But he felt her beside him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him into her. He grabbed hold onto her like a float in a drowning sea. His head buried in her neck and inhaling her comforting scent. The banging in his head was louder now. Screaming into his brain and the most painful of ways. He felt his legs go from underneath him, but she managed to guide them down onto the floor safely. He felt the wood hit his knees as he cried in anguish, his fingers clawing harder into her clothes for something to keep him afloat.

It took time, but eventually his senses began to respond to her. He no longer felt the rough pain of floor against his limbs. Instead, he felt the soft brush of her palm against his arms and the comforting scrape of her nails in his hair. The drumming dulled again, replaced by the sweet echo of her hushes and coos. He felt her lips place a small kiss on the top of his head and finally, it all went quiet. The struggle for air subsided and oxygen glided into his system slowly and naturally. Relief was not a strong enough word to describe how he felt. He lifted himself up from her embrace, pulling back to meet her eye. She didn’t look concerned; she didn’t look worried. She just smiled at him softly and held his face in her small comforting hands. “There you are.” She whispered.

#CM #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch x y/n #aaron hotch fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #ssa aaron hotchner #reader insert #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #aaron hotchner smut #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotch #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner x you #hotch x you #hotchner x you #hotchner x y/n #hotch x y/n #angst #hurt/comfort #aaron hotchner needs a hug #panic attacks #grief

[violentviolette]

Hi, can you talk a little on ASPD and dopamine? And also, I guess, dealing with addictions as they form, in context if this disorder?

Thanks!

theres actually a lot of research into the chemical aspects of personality disorders and it all really does boil down to trauma and genetics causing lots and lots of dysfunction with nuerochemicals, transmittors, and receptors. so ppl with any personality disorder are going to struggle a lot with things like dopamine, seratonin, and other chemicals

the dysfunctions fall under two main catagories, either a lack of ability to produce dopamine and seratonin, or a lack of ability to absorb them. i had some genetic testing done about 6 or 7 years ago because i was having no luck with antidepressants and struggling to find medication and it turns out my brain lacks key seratonin receptors. so things like ssri's which help u produce more seratonin and dopamine were useless for me because my brain *is* producing those chemicals properly, but i lack the receptors to be able to absorb any of them, which is why my issues are so persistent and resistent to treatment. i can absolutely flood my brain with seratonin and it wont do shit, cause i have no way to take it in

the hilarious other side of that is that u can absolutely have too much dopamine and seratonin in ur brain, and if too much builds up with no way to process or flush it, u can get things like seratonin sickness/syndrome which can cause anything from fever, chills, diarrhea and other flu like symptoms to seizures and death. as well as dopamine overloads, which result in things like anxiety, mania, hyper impulsivity, insomnia, psychosis and hallucinations, aggression, and more. which are all absolutely symptoms of cluster b personality disorders

because of this there's been speculation and theorizing (that does have supported research but more is still needed) that a key component of cluster b pds is an excess of dopamine in the brain without the ability to process it. so we end up with all of the negative side effects of having our brains swimming in dopamine all the time but dont get any of the actual positive effects of that that we're seeking. which like. love that for us /sarcasm. but it does very much explain a lot of the reasons that cluster b pds are so difficult to treat with medication and why our problems are so persistent

which then plays into addiction, and could explain why we seek out dopamine in such high quantities and are prone to such risk taking behavior to get it. if we're lacking in receptors, it makes sense that our brains would then require HUGE hits of dopamine to feel anything, because our brains need to be swimming in the stuff in order for us to feel the positive effects but that then leaves us with a huge excess that we cant get rid of which then causes problems. whereas a normal person would need only a tenth of the dopamine we do to absorb it and wouldnt be left with the overflow.

this also then makes treating and dealing with addiction much more complicated. because the problem is no longer finding healthier ways to get dopamine, because the amount of dopamine we need to be effective is actually the problem, not how we're obtaining it. which means the problem is figuring out how to either grow new neuroreceptors (which is possible, but difficult and i admit im not as well read on how the science works there because brains complicated), or how to retrain our brains to rely less on dopamine for satisfaction. which is also doable but sucks big ass.

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #aspd safe #aspd tag #cluster b #cluster b pd #cluster b personality disorder #i hope that was helpful sorry it got so long i just find this stuff absolutely fascinating and also it ruins my life lol #but if i didnt actually answer ur question or u have more or want me to expand on anything pls lemme know

[buckyismybicycle]

Title: the key to sass-sex [AO3 LINK HERE] Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Sam Wilson Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Bucky’s Metal Arm Rating:  Explicit Tags: Hate Sex (but not really), Top Bucky Barnes, snark sassy verbal sparring, blowjob, Big Dick Bucky Barnes Bingos: @buckybarnesbingo​​ Flash Bingo “Key” @winterfalconevents​​ Bingo,  Y2: “Arm Kink” &  Y1: “Big Dick Bucky Barnes” @allcapsbingo​ Bingo,  I1: “Big Dick Bucky Barnes” @mcukinkbingo​ Bingo, N1: “Risking Getting Caught”

“I’m pretty sure my brain cells have retired for the night,” Bucky complains as they come back to Sharon’s place.

“That implies you had any to begin with.”

“Don’t get all high and mighty, you’re not about to have any either,” Bucky smirks, confident as all hell.

“Yeah? And how’s that?”

“Because I’m about to suck your brain out through your dick.”

“What the — FUCK!”

Yeah, nobody told him Bucky Barnes can take a dick in one go, to the hilt, like his throat is some sort of bonafide sex toy. It’s an intense contrast, just how hot Bucky’s mouth — and his tongue, Jesus Christ.

Sam makes a noise that is absolutely pitiful and high-pitched enough that maybe only he and the dogs in the neighbourhood could hear.

Bucky probably couldn’t hear, even with the enhanced hearing, because the man is making the most obscene slurping noises and —

Yeah, Bucky was right, his brain cells? Gone. Kaput. Zilch. Nada.

His thighs tremble but he sure as fuck isn’t going to give Bucky the ammunition to say I made Sam come in twenty seconds so he yanks Bucky’s head back, pulling his dick out.

“Now what the fuck were you saying?” Bucky huffs, lips glistening with slick and spit.

“Shut up,” Sam retorts, pulling Bucky up and surging forward to kiss the dumb grin off Bucky’s face. He doesn’t expect Bucky to just let him drive the both of them into the wall.

There’s definitely a dent where Bucky’s shoulder connected, yet there was no indication on his face that he’d felt it.

Fuck, that’s hot.

So is Bucky letting Sam push up against him, pinning him to the wall because Sam knows Bucky could chuck him across the room, if he wanted. Hell, Sam might even want him to, at this rate. It wouldn’t be the first time, anyway.

God, there must be something wrong with him if he’s getting off to the memory of Bucky’s titanium hand under his chin, cold and unrelenting, fingers digging into Sam’s neck. It’d been terrifying in that moment, of course, but now? Now that he’s seen that very arm do unspeakably sexy things like jerking him off, it’s like Sam’s developed a Pavlovian response to it.

Any time Bucky rips something off (not a steering wheel or his wings) or throws something (not Sam) or even simply shifts, Sam catches himself staring at it. Wishing the polished vibranium were on him. In him. Anything.

He presses against Bucky even more, wondering what it would take for Bucky to push back. Right now, it just means Bucky is letting Sam punch holes in the wall with his body — enjoying it, even — and it’s unbearably dizzying.

So, so hot.

Sam’s hands work their way to the hem of Bucky’s shirt, his fingers grasping for the hard muscles of Bucky’s body. He gets Bucky’s low groan in his ear for his efforts and decides to play it up — taking his time, kneading, fingers firm as they dig in because he knows Bucky secretly likes it a little rough, a reminder that Sam can take and dish the same.

He slides his hands up, palms going over the ridges of his abs which makes Bucky bite down on Sam’s lip. It draws blood, making Sam simultaneously gasp and groan as it floods their kiss with that tang of copper.

He feels just the right amount of cruelty in him to pinch both of Bucky’s nipples, hard, because he knows Bucky can take it, and twist.

“Ow, fuck — I hate you,” Bucky mumbles into their heated kiss.

“Yeah? Then fuck me like it,” Sam goads. He’s going to take advantage of all that super serum flowing in Bucky’s veins.

It gets an animalistic growl out of Bucky, and Sam smirks like he won something.

 That something is definitely Bucky’s dick.

It’s enough to make him forget where they are and forget that other people exist.

There’s something about being railed by Bucky that just turns him into an idiot, he’ll admit it. There’s something about being railed by Bucky while the vibranium fingers wrap around Sam’s cock.

There’s something about being railed into next week by Bucky’s incredibly thick cock as that vibranium hand works his cock so, so good while Bucky whispers filth in his ear.

“Aw, you cryin’ for me, sweetheart? Needed to get fucked this bad, huh? Knew it,” Bucky leers, face inches away as he all but bends Sam in half, Sam’s legs hooked over his elbows.

“Fuck!” Sam shouts as Bucky nails his next thrust, the tears that had been building up finally trickling down his temple. He sure as hell won’t say it out loud, but there may be some truth to Bucky’s words, that maybe his favourite post-mission.

“Best keep it down, angel,” Bucky reminds him. “Unless you wanna give Zemo and Sharon a helluva performance.”

Sam catches his breath somewhere between one thrust and the next before it’s knocked out of his lungs again by his orgasm. It comes hard and fast, blindingly hot and without warning — which happens to also describe Bucky pretty fucking well.

Even in the effort of keeping quiet he can still hear his own voice bounce off the walls of their darkened room in his drawn-out moan.

“Sound like a goddamn dream,” Bucky mutters, pulling away from Sam just to plant his hands on the underside of Sam’s thighs, pushing Sam to the limits while he chases his own release.

He welcomes the digging of Bucky’s fingers, the push of Bucky spreading his legs open even further.

“C’mon, c’mon,” Sam encourages, his own hand digging into Bucky’s forearm while the other is braced against the headboard so Bucky doesn’t fuck him through the goddamn wall.

It feels like being thrown into fire, it feels like being dunked in arctic waters, it’s in every book and cranny of Sam’s nerves, lit up like a cloudless sky.

“Fuck, Sam,” Bucky groans as he shudders.

It’s a rare thing for a super soldier’s arms to tremble. Sam feels like he’s on top of the world to be the one that sees Bucky like this — shaking, falling apart.

Bucky lowers himself back down, and though he takes most of his weight on his forearms, Sam still feels just enough pressure to think: comfort.

For all the obscenities that Bucky spews while they fuck, he falls near silent when he tries to come down from the high, trying to ground himself again. Each exhale tickles Sam’s sweat-lined neck and he runs his fingers through Bucky’s hair as they both even out their breathing. Like a giant cat, Bucky leans into the touch, practically purring.

“Bucky,” Sam murmurs right against Bucky’s temple.

“Sam,” Bucky replies in kind, voice softer than it has any right to be.

#winterfalcon #winterfalcon bingo #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes bingo #mcu kink bingo #all caps bingo

[cookies-are-nice]

Catalyst

Author's note : Once again, this is a self-insert but you can read it however you want(it works kinda), I can't wait to chapter 6

Content : Tr plot(moebius arc or wtv),

Chapter 5 : Decisions

-ˋˏ ❀. * ‧₊˚* ੈ‧₊*❈꧁🥀꧂❈ * ੈ‧₊*. *₊°❀ ˎˊ-

All the beeps of heart beat monitors, all the footsteps of doctors shuffling from room to room, were tuned out by Sachiko. All she could think about was the horrible piece of news she received this morning.

"105... 106... 107!" She mumbled to herself, navigating through the hospital.

Her eyes focused on the patient in room 107. She was wrapped up in bandages from head to toe. Her left leg was encased in a cast and cuts and bruises could be seen on the remaining places which weren't covered with medical gauze. Sachiko felt tears well up in her eyes as she whispered apologies to her old classmate.

She was preparing to leave when she heard the desperate cries and curses coming from an old man and his wife, in which she could only assume were her old friend's parents. They were yelling at 2 teenage boys- wait, weren't those Takemichi's friends? Why were they getting yelled at? What were they here for? Oh, Moebius. Guilt flooded her mind as she glanced back to her old friend, she's been through so much after all. After some thinking, Sachiko managed to link, in her muddled up brain, patient 107's incident with Moebius, with Toman, with-her brother. Suddenly, she realised all the possible dangers Takemichi could be in if he was in a gang that was up against this kind of violence, this kind of brutality. She collected her things and headed for the exit.

"Hey Ken-chin, was that Takemichy's sister just now?"

That was all Rose heard before rushing out of the hospital and into a taxi.

"Where to?" The taxi driver asked.

That prompted the girl to quickly write down her address on a random piece of paper she had and give it to the driver.

"Here please, thank you sir." She said, still maintaining her manners.

Sachiko usually preferred her drivers to be chatty, but not this ride, she needed peace and quiet to let the full weight of the situation set in. Luckily, the man was quiet and kept to himself.

After a short nap(Sachiko just closed her eyes throughout the ride), she was woken up by the driver, informing her she has reached her destination. She blinked her drowsiness away as she reached for her wallet. The girl proceeded to pay the amount of money displayed on the fare meter and got off the taxi.

Once she stepped out of the vehicle, she realised just how freezing cold it was. Glancing at the tiny puddles of water that pooled in corners of the street, she deduced that it must've been raining during the ride. Sachiko grabbed her keys and impatiently unlocked her door, wishing she was in her humble abode instead of the cold, harsh outside.

The girl let out a sigh of relief after her doors decided to finally open. Then, Sachiko shut the door behind her, making sure to lock it, and entered her bedroom. She kicked the door shut, not bothering to turn around and properly close it. Then and only then, could she peel back the mask she'd been putting up this whole time.

"WHY IS TAKEMICHI IN A GANG? WHY TOMAN?? WHY'RE THEY PLANNING TO FIGHT MOEBIUS?!"

The teenage girl was in quite the predicament, she was stuck between prying Takemichi out of the gang herself or just straight up getting the arrested.

"What to do, what to doooo?!!?!?"

She flopped onto her comfy bed and nuzzled her face into her fluffy pillow. "mhhmm mhmmum!!!"

Her words of worry were muffled by the pillow suffocating her.

Sachiko turned her head to her right, she saw the outfit in her closet. She suddenly thought of an idea.

"Though, I will be risking quite a lot doing this..."

After some not so careful consideration, she decided to commit to the risky plan. "SCREW IT! My life needs more drama anyways."

Sachiko put on a black hoodie and a pair of light blue jeans, along with some purple contact lenses instead of her usual glasses. Next, she put her hair up in a neat ponytail with her curtain bangs covering her hairline. Then came the final part of her disguise, a black mask.

"Time to fight your way in 'Rose'. "

EEEEEE next chapter has a fight scene that I'm quite proud of(seeing as I wrote that one year ago)

#mikey sano #sano mikey manjiro #tokyo revengers #hanagaki takemichi #manjiro sano #mikey x oc #mikey x reader #tokyo manji gang #tokyo revengers oc

[allegrabanner]

thinking about that one chapter where Ogura tells Kei he’d better not flood

#ajin shitpost #ajin demi human #ajin #demi human #ajin manga #ajin kei #kei nagai #nagai kei #couldn’t get this out of my head #my brain: kei is a flood risk #me: please just let me do my maths revision

[extasiswings]

Episode Tag for 5x06...

Buck makes it all of an hour in his apartment—thirty minutes after Taylor has left for work—before the itch under his skin and the tightness in his chest gets to be too much and he grabs his keys.  He drives on autopilot.

Cute kid, yours?  

I’m guessing he lives with you at 4995 South Bedford Street.

I’ll shoot him.  And then I’ll go shoot his kid.

Buck.

The sound of the gunshot is burned into his brain, echoing in his ears.   He can still feel the ice that flooded his veins, freezing his heart in his chest, the air in his lungs, as he sprinted outside to see Eddie on the ground— 

Doing compressions.  Compressions.  On his knees and with a wild look in his eyes, an edge to his voice that Buck can’t remember ever hearing before, but alive.  Alive, alive, alive.

The blood on his face, his neck, wasn’t his.  

And Buck had wanted— 

There’s a scream that’s caught behind his teeth even now.  He could keep driving, take himself out into the desert and let it out, just rage at the heavens.  Demand to know why, why this keeps happening, how many times he’s going to be stuck on the outside as Eddie is placed in mortal danger.  He can feel himself cracking, fraying at the seams—he doesn’t think he can take much more.

He can’t.  He won’t survive it.

At the hospital, he thought he might have shattered if he touched Eddie.  Or that Eddie would have.  Not that Eddie’s fragile, because he’s not—he was the one who kept it together all day, competent and steady and sure while Buck felt like he was seconds away from shaking apart at all times—but he couldn’t risk it.  Couldn’t risk touching him.  It felt like— 

Cute kid, yours?

Buck.

If the gunshot froze him solid, the threats to Christopher made him burn white hot with rage.  Made something vicious and protective rise up in him, hissing and spitting, wanting to dive across the ambulance to rip the man’s throat out with his bare hands.  But— 

Buck.  

No one will ever fight for my son as hard as you.

My son.

Cute kid, yours?

They haven’t talked about it.  Not since Eddie first told him.  Another conversation in another hospital, never to come up again.  Like it wasn’t the biggest bombshell of Buck’s life.  Like Eddie hadn’t basically made him a father.  Like he wasn’t— 

But then again, Eddie hadn’t done that.  Right?  It wasn’t a certainty.  It was just an if, an in case of emergency.

That didn’t make Buck a father.  That didn’t make him Christopher’s father.  

But fuck, he can’t seem to get that through his head.  

He parks on the street and walks up to the door.  There’s a key on his keychain, but it feels heavy in his hand.  Too heavy, and his fingers too clumsy.  He can’t fit it in the lock.  He can’t turn the knob.

Buck rests his forehead against the door and closes his eyes.  The barrel of a gun flashes black behind his eyelids.  There’s still a scream trapped in his throat.

Going home to see my kid.

Did he get to see his kid?

No.

It was stupid, coming over.  He shouldn’t need to—he doesn’t have a right—he’s not— 

It was stupid.  He should go home.  Go back to his apartment.  

He should go.

The door opens and Buck stumbles forward, catching himself on the frame.

“Buck?”  Eddie looks exhausted, not unlike he had when he left the hospital.  Christopher’s backpack is in his hand and Buck swears internally.

“I’m sorry,” Buck says.  “You’re taking Chris to school right now—of course you are, it’s a weekday, I should have asked—”

“Buck,” Eddie interrupts gently.  “It’s okay.  You don’t have to ask.  That’s why I gave you a key.”

“I know, I—but I don’t have to stay, I just—I just wanted—I needed to—”  The words catch in his throat, but it’s okay that he can’t seem to make himself admit why he showed up on Eddie’s doorstep, because from over Eddie’s shoulder he hears— 

“Buck!” 

Cute kid, yours?

Buck’s feet are moving before he can stop himself.  Eddie steps aside and shuts the door behind him.  And then Buck’s dropping to his knees and pulling Christopher into his arms and burying his nose in his hair and— 

The tension in his chest eases.

“Hey, buddy,” he whispers.  

Eddie’s hand settles on Buck’s shoulder for the briefest moment and squeezes. 

“You and dad are both being really weird today,” Chris says, his voice muffled by Buck’s shirt.  

Buck manages a faint laugh and sits back on his heels, brings his hands up to cup the boy’s cheek.

“Yeah, well—adults are weird sometimes.”

“Hey, Christopher, what would you say to skipping school today and hanging out with us?”  Eddie asks from over his shoulder.  Buck looks up sharply.

“Oh, no, Eddie, you don’t have to—”

“Yeah, okay,” Christopher replies.  “Can we go out to lunch later?”

“Why don’t we ask Buck what he thinks?”

And then Buck has two sets of eyes on him and his heart squeezes in his chest.

“Sure,” he replies.  “That sounds great.”

And he breathes. 

#chapel writes #911 spoilers #evan buckley #911 fic

[ramp-it-up]

Bar the Door

Pairing: Bartender! Frank x Bartender! Reader; Barkeep!Andy Barber x Bartender! Reader; Barkeep! Andy x Bartender Frank (Endings, Beginnings)

Part 6 of The Bar AU. Read the previous part, Set the Bar.

Word count: 3K

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. SMUT! Not Beta’d. Read at your own risk. Bisexual sex, Daddy kink, Praise kink, mmf, lying, deception, seduction, jealousy, cheating, masturbation, safe words, slapping, oral (m/f receiving), squirting, anal sex, double penetration, after care, Angst. Unprotected sex (wrap that shit up!)

A/N: This one is out there! Let me know if you like it. 😃

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

You opened your eyes to Frank’s face and froze. What happened the night before happened, and you weren’t even drunk. You couldn’t assuage the sinking feeling in your stomach as you thought of how you would tell Andy.

What the fuck had you done??

You moved to get out of bed and Frank tightened his hold on you, drawing you back into his warm, hard body.

No matter how good it felt, no matter how much you wanted to snuggle, you persisted in your quest to escape the bed and succeeded, responding to Frank's grumble with the assertion that you needed to go pee.

You walked into the kitchen for a glass of water after a quick shower. You were wrapped in a towel, trying to figure out what next when you heard Andy’s key in the lock and the shower start at the same time.

You froze when he came in the door.

He saw you, dropped his bag and came over to you, picking you up in a giant bear hug.

“Hello, Sweetheart!”

“Andy!”

You had no other words as you looked up at him. Then you came to your senses.

“What are you doing back?”

Andy looked at you, careful to smile. He didn’t want to scare you. It was time to be honest.

“Frank FaceTimed me last night and I came as soon as I could.”

You cocked your head, confused, thinking of when Frank would have FaceTimed Andy.

“Hey, You.”

You turned to see Frank leaning against the door frame, towel around his waist and water dripping down his chest, smiling at Andy.

“Hey.”

Andy moved toward Frank and kissed him full on the mouth.

Your jaw dropped as everything clicked in your head. Everything that you didn’t even want to think came flooding through your brain.

Andy’s side piece, Frank sleeping in his bed, his interest in you and Andy. It all made so much sense. You processed it all and then went numb.

“Well, I guess I’m the fool here.”

You were trying to remain calm. Frank had gone to get some sweats and Andy watched and waited to approach you together.

“Baby Doll, you’ve got to listen.”

“Listen to what? Your sick plan to play me out? Did you FaceTime when we had sex Andy? Did you set me up, Frank?”

You tried to push past them.

“Move the fuck out of my way.”

They formed a brick wall.

“Not until you listen.”

“Fuck you both.”

They finally let you through and you went to the bedroom to gather your things. They spoke while you moved.

“We didn’t plan this. At first. Me and Frank were just a fling. I was all in with you. But when you went home for Thanksgiving, I realized I still wanted Frank too.”

You couldn’t look at Andy as he spoke. The betrayal.

“And I fell head over heels, Baby Doll.” Frank captured your eyes and you looked away.

“I was already in deep with Andy, and you. I know why he fell so hard, because I did too.”

Your mind was whirring. You wanted to burn down the bar but there had to be a better way.

“We both want you. And we want you to want us both. We want you to love us both.”

You finally turned around to look at Andy, Frank standing beside him.

You walked up to him and slapped him, the sound ringing off the walls. He reached up and touched his face as Frank squared up. You slapped him too. And just as hard.

You turned around and stalked to the other side of the room, next to the bed. You were shaking with rage.

Andy came up behind you.

“We deserved that. But we didn’t know how to say it. We just decided to show you.”

Andy pulled your shaking body against his as Frank stood on the other side of the bed.

“Can we show you, Baby Doll?”

Andy released you as Frank reached for his towel. Your eyes were transfixed as you heard Andy rid himself of his clothes, taking this moment of opportunity.

You watched his cock swing along his thighs as he moved to kneel on the bed and grab it, stroking it with long, languid strokes. You clenched when you remembered how it felt.

“Are your nipples hard for me?”

Frank cocked his eyebrow.

“Let Andy show you off.”

Andy came up behind you again, tugging on your towel and letting it drop as he palmed your breasts, then pinched your nipples. You groaned in pleasure as you thought of the possibilities.

You made a decision as Andy’s hands roamed all over you as both of you watched Frank stroking off. You felt Andy’s hard cock on your back and heard his hard breathing in your ear.

“That’s right Frank, baby, stroke that shit for us. Get it ready. Tell me, what did you do to our girl last night?”

Frank looked at you both with hooded eyes and licked his lips.

“Fuck Andy. What did she do to me?” He looked at you. “She ruined me.”

You arched your back and leaned against Andy as his hands roamed your torso, rubbing your belly, grazing your pussy and nipples with long fingers. He licked that spot on your neck that made you groan and then started pulling on your nipples.

“She made me cum just at the sight of her, and then, she almost sucked my soul out with that mouth of hers. You didn’t tell me it was THAT good. Shit, Andy.”

Frank reached out and trailed his hand up your thigh until he reached your dripping pussy. He looked both you and Andy in the eyes as he slipped four fingertips through your wet folds.

“She’s such a good fucking girl. For both of us.”

Andy spoke to you as he addressed Frank, leaning down to push two fingers into your cunt while Frank played with your clit. This was going to be sensation overload and you wondered how you would handle it. Your thighs started trembling as Frank continued his story.

“And then I tasted this pussy.”

Frank withdrew his fingers and brought them to his lips, painting them with your slick. He looked up at Andy, mouth wet, eyes pleading.

“It’s one of the last tastes I want to have in my mouth before I die, Andy.”

Andy’s fingers fucked you faster as he growled into your skin. Frank scrambled up and grabbed Andy over your shoulder, kissing him passionately as they both tasted you on his mouth. Frank’s hand slipped in between you two to your clit and you shivered as you watched the men kiss.

They drew apart and came for you, all of you sharing the filthiest three-way kiss as they made you cum with their fingers, your body shaking and vibrating between them.

Andy and Frank pressed you between their hard, taught bodies and supported you as they kissed your mouth, your skin, and each other. You slipped your arms around Frank’s shoulders and Andy held you both tight around your waists. Their cocks pounded, pressed on either side of you.

“D’you want more? More of us?”

Andy said it into your shoulder while Frank kissed the top of his head.

“I want all of you.”

Andy sighed and nodded. He had a couple of questions.

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot. You need safe words. This will probably be overwhelming.”

“Because we plan to make this all about you, Baby Doll. We both want more of that pussy. I’d love to have your ass. The only time I’ve been jealous is when Andy told me he’d had it. We want to make you feel good, Baby Doll.”

Frank's smile and sweet/nasty words did you in.

“Ok.”

You sighed, still catching your breath from your orgasm.

“How about Sunshine for go and Rain for stop?”

Andy uncoiled himself from around you, creating space between you, you shivered as Frank did the same.

“Excellent choices. Now lay back and show us how we did.”

You could tell that Andy’s elbow was cocked without even looking at him, and Frank’s smirk told you that you were correct.

They fixed the pillows against the headboard and you reclined back against them. Each man kneeled on the bed, beautiful cocks bouncing in the air as they watched you, hands reaching for each other and your legs to slowly pull them apart and as you lay back and watched them.

You watched them stroke each other off, fascinated, licking your lips as they stared at each other, and then you.

You moved to sit up, wanting them both in your mouth. Andy pushed you back down.

“We’re going to eat you now.”

Frank lightly slapped the side of Andy’s cock.

“Don’t be so mean, Andrew. Let her taste.”

The way Andy ducked his head and looked down when Frank said that made you feel some kinda way. You’d never seen Andy submit. It was hot as hell.

You sat up again and grabbed both of thier cocks, feeling their heavy, but different weights in your hands. You moved up on your knees and stroked languidly while looking up at them through your eyelashes.

You tugged slightly so that the heads of their cocks were touching. Then you French kissed the fuck out of that beautiful mashup, your tongue slipping between their salty slits.

Andy opened his mouth and moaned loudly and Frank groaned deep in his throat as your saliva ran down both of their shafts, and you stroked them while taking turns deepthroating both. Soon your head was trapped between their abs as they started kissing each other, the lewd tower making you want more and more.

They pulled apart and watched you and making eye contact with each other.

“Fuck, Baby Doll. Andy was right. You’re gonna suck us dry. You need to stop… fuck”

“No, no, no. It’s all sunshine down here. I’m having fun.”

You grinned at them, face ruined with saliva and precum.

“Please. Please. Lay back, shit. Please.”

Andy begging was new, so you obliged, laying back on the pillows and tugging on your nipples with your Andy/Frank wet fingers.

This time, the men wasted no time grabbing each of your legs, pulling them wide, and diving for your pussy. Their tongues wrestled as they competed for your clit.

The sensations were too much as you grabbed handfuls of their hair and wrapped a leg around two different shoulders. Four fingers on two men’s hands fucked into you while they continued to kiss around yor clit.

Just the realization of what was happening caused you to cum, so forcefully that it took both of them to hold you down as they continued to eat you through it.

“Fuck, fuck, holy fuck!!!!”

“What’s the word?”

Andy was panting as Frank lifted your limp body on top of him, maneuvering you over his face as Andy held you from behind.

“Sunshine!”

You said it as you looked down at Frank.

“Good, because I’ve missed this pussy.”

Andy bent you over, pushing your head into the pillows, and swiped his cock through your folds. You could feel Frank kissing your thigh as Andy slid in.

“Fuck! I’m home! Shit!”

Frank started sucking your clit and you could feel his hand rolling Andy’s balls against you as he was stuffed deep inside you. You could already feel the coil inside you tightening.

Andy started moving and Frank increased the pressure of his sucking as he moaned, Andy’s thrusts knocking your pussy into his mouth.

“Gotdamn. So tight. Imagine how tight you will be, how full you will feel, when we’re both inside you.”

You whimpered, tears leaking out of your eyes as you tried to hold it.

“You want that? You want me and Frank to fuck you stupid?”

You moaned, holding on by a string.

“Answer me!”

Andy pulled your hair and you gasped and moaned as he started thrusting deeper, hitting your cervix. Frank started pulling on your clit more insistently.

You opened your mouth to answer as your orgasm rushed through you like a wildfire.

“FUCK! Yes!! Both of you! I want both!!”

And you released into Frank’s mouth, trying to pull off when you realized, only to have him pull you back down as Andy pulled out and lay beside him, reaching greedy fingers in to try and get some.

“Lucky bastard.”

Andy was mad, but the happiest he’d ever been in his life. He laughed at you as you sat back in Frank’s chest, hand on your mouth, shocked as you apologized to Frank.

“Sorry…”

You watched Andy lean over and lick Frank’s face, then kiss him, and you grabbed them and scratched their scalps.

A wet, breathless Frank grinned at you.

“Never apologize for that. Just give me more.”

You got up and he let you go to the bathroom for a wet towel to clean him up. You were greeted to the sight of Frank sucking your juices off of Andy’s cock. Andy was leaned back on his arms, watching with adoration. It was close to, but not the same look that he gave you when you did that.

Suddenly, and much quicker than you’d ever been able to make him, Andy started cumming. He groaned and grabbed Frank’s head and held it down as he pistoned his hips up into Frank’s mouth. Frank swallowed everything and then noticed you were there.

He grabbed you and kissed you, giving you a taste of you and Andy on his tongue.

“Thank you Baby Doll. So sweet.”

You watched him clean up and then bring the hot, wet towel between your legs, the rough texture making you jump from sensitivity.

“What do you want now?”

“I’d love to see you fuck him. But right now, I want you both to fuck me.”

You pointed at Andy and then yourself and Andy sat up, dick coming back to life.

“Since you’ve been such a good boy and swallowed for us, Frank, you get to have my ass.”

Andy frowned. You kissed him, moving to face him as Frank went for the nightstand with the lube.

“Don’t be a brat.” You whispered in his ear and bit it.

Andy chuckled and slapped your ass as he sat back against the pillows, pumping his cock to get it ready for you. You suddenly changed your mind.

“I think Me and Frank need to fuck YOU.”

“Mmmmm. Our girl. So nasty. So good.”

Frank kissed your shoulder as Andy’s eyes got big and his dick became rock hard. He whimpered as you moved his hand to position his cock at your entrance and Frank rubbed the cool lube on both your and Andy’s holes. You started riding him as Frank pressed two fingers inside Andy, stretching him out.

“Shit.”

Andy’s eyes were wide when you felt Frank move up against you, and watched Andy’s eyes shutter closed as Frank entered him.

“Daddy. Ma’am!” Andy’s lips turned into a delectable pout. “Fuck me.”

“Damn, BabyDoll. He’s never called me Daddy before. This must be just the right combination.”

Frank growled to both of you and then reached around for your clit as you started riding Andy and Frank started fucking him hard. You leaned back and let Frank do all the work as he moved Andy in and out of you as he did the same to Andy.

Andy’s mouth was open and he looked so delectable.

“Look at that little slut. You're our little cock and pussy slut, aren’t you?”

When Andy didn’t answer, Frank reached around you and slapped his face.

“Answer me!”

Andy gulped, opened his blazing blue eyes and said, “Yes Daddy. You and ma’am are fucking me so good.”

You started cuming again when you saw that, collapsing on Andy’s chest as you felt him pulse a little inside you. You held on for dear life, because you were exhausted. Four orgasms had ruined you.

Frank pulled out of Andy, causing him to whimper again. He reached for the wet towel and cleaned up, grabbing your ass as he did so.

“Wouldn’t want you to cum yet Andy, now would we? I’m not going to miss this ass. Especially now that she’s winking at me. What’s your word, Baby Doll?”

And Frank inserted his fingers inside your ass, scissoring them to loosen you up. Andy kissed the top of your head. You were so relaxed right now, you felt you could take on anything.

“Sunshine?”

Frank stopped moving and Andy rubbed your arms.

“You gotta be sure. What is your word?”

The sweetness and care was it for you. “Sunshine. Please.”

You were confident now.

“Good girl.”

Andy’s cock swelled larger inside you and Frank moved behind you again, rubbing up against your hole. Your heart beat fast as he breached the ring of muscle, but then you relaxed again.

Andy and Frank whispered sweet words of praise in your ear, kissing and caressing every available ince of your skin as Frank moved deeper and began to set the pace again.

“So good Baby Doll.”

“You look so fucking pretty all full of our cocks.”

“Suck a good girl taking us like this.”

“You feel like heaven.”

“Best thing in the world.”

Frank and Andy found the rhythm, one pulling almost all the way out and then back in deeply, smoothly shattering your brain with each thrust. You could hardly catch your breath between the both of them.

You were loudly moaning almost non-stop with each stroke of their magnificent dicks as one hit your spot and the other met it on the other side.

“Fuck, Baby Doll. I can feel Andy through your walls. Never felt heaven before.”

“Fucking Nirvana, Sweetheart.” Andy groaned into your throat before catching a nipple and sucking hard. Frank was strumming your clit as you squirted between them, bathing all of you as you came for the fifth time.

“Holy shit!”

You choked it out, voice hoarse from screaming.

You could feel Andy’s hot ropes of cum stream inside you as Frank pumped faster, started cuming inside you, and then pulled out.

You rested your head on the pillows as Andy and Frank both kept your ass in the air as they cleaned you up kissing and licking your sensitive, tired body. Then you were made to go pee and drink some water and collapsed on the bed as more hot towels cleaned you more properly. You were basically passed out when you were tucked into bed with fresh sheets and told to rest.

You slept like a rock for two hours when you woke to Andy’s empty bedroom. A note on the bedside table indicated that they had gone to the store to buy groceries for a meal.

You got up, showered quickly, and wrote your own note.

You gathered your things and left Andy’s apartment, going to your place to pack up there. You silenced and blocked Andy and Frank as they tried to reach you later, looking up and out of the window of the train as the snow covered terrain flew by.

You could have loved them both if they had just been honest.

#chris evans #ask dj #chris evans smut #chris evans x black reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x black!reader #sebastian stan imagine #barkeep andy barber x frank #barkeep! andy barber x reader x frank #barkeep! Andy Barber #bartender Frank #frank endings beginnings #the bar au #Sebastian Stan smut #Andy barber x reader #Andy barber smut #frank smut

[equestrianwritingsstuff]

Uhmmm.... so I had a prompt idea. What if hero arrested villain, and handed him to the authorites, and he basically told her that he'd make her pay for it. Then hero goes to the prison for a different reason weeks later, where she sees villain, terrified, sick, and drugged. So, she reluctantly takes him home and cares for him. She is scared he will attack her when he's lucid, but when he does fully wake up, he's just terrified.

This is such a good idea! I saw your submission right before I went to bed and laid there thinking about it, so as you can see I was quite excited to write it.

Paying For It

Warnings: threats, horrible treatment by authorities, left to be sick, fever, blood, drugged, forced sedation, unconsciousness, nightmares, smoking mention, paralysis (due to sickness), sick animal analogy, delirium

~

"You will pay for this," he growled as the handcuffs clicked into place. "I will make you you pay for this and not by money, no-" a chuckle "- I will hurt you."

Hero shuddered as she walked down the icy path back to the same prison that she recently turned Villain into. Horrible thoughts of that said villain breaking out and torturing her flooded into her mind, making her already chilly veins even colder. She hugged her fleece tighter around her and adjusted her scarf, suddenly wishing she wore her winter coat.

Before she knew it, Hero was trotting up the steps towards the concrete building. It was, by design, barren yet strong.

She had some documents to bring to the office. There was a new supervillain in town, actually more like ten, but Hero only managed to get information about the one. They most likely moved in after the biggest threat around, Villain, was arrested.

She opened the door, closing it quietly, and walked up to the desk. The hero, a young boy, most likely a sidekick holding down the fort while his mentor went to do something else, sitting up there was lazily playing a video game on his phone.

Hero coughed to get his attention. The boy didn't respond.

"Hello?" Hero asked.

The boy startled, tossing his phone backwards. "I wasn't," he defended, "on my phone, I swear."

"Uh huh," Hero grunted, sliding the papers over to the boy. "Where's your boss?"

"Probably smoking or something," the boy chuckled, then stopped and looked at Hero with a nervously apologetic expression. "I shouldn't have- you weren't meant to know."

Hero shook her head and said, "I don't care about my colleagues personal habits, but can you get him for me?"

The boy nodded and rushed off, returning later with a stern looking man.

"Superhero," Hero acknowledged, nodding slightly. He smiled then looked at the papers on the desk.

"Are these about..." He looked up at Hero.

"The new villain, yes," Hero finished his sentence, crossing her arms.

"Good, very good," Superhero momentarily flipped through them. In that silence, a thought bubbled up in Hero's mind.

"How's Villain?" She asked. "It's been awhile."

Superhero's face paled, as his toe nervously tapped the floor. Hero raised an eyebrow.

"We've had some... issues, so Villain is spending sometime in detention," Superhero said. He coughed, then said in an overly joyful tone, "Thanks for this Hero, do you want me to escort you to your car?"

"I would actually like to see Villain. Maybe I can, you know, talk to him about his behavior," Hero declined the offer, stepping in front of the papers. Something isn't right...

"Well you see, that wouldn't be beneficial. If anything it would be detrimental towards Villain's... redemption," Superhero pointed out, unconsciously chewing at his lip.

"We aren't a redemption center, Superhero," Hero said quietly, almost a whisper. "Let me see Villain or-" Hero grabbed the papers and proceeded to rip them "- these aren't your's."

Superhero rushed forward, putting his hands on top of Hero's and slid the papers back towards him. He gave a tiny smile and consented to her request.

They walked down the corridor and then down a couple flight of stairs until they reached a steel door with three locks- all with different keys. Hero watched with a stoned expression, thinking about what would happen if one of those keys were unfortunately lost...

"He's in here," Superhero spoke, dancing on his feet.

Hero stepped into the dark room, recognizing the detention cell that she helped invent, and flipped on the lights.

In the corner of the capacious cell, was a huddled figure. His back was towards her, legs spread out. With a pang in her chest, Hero walked up to him.

"V-villain," Hero breathed and crouched next to the figure. Villain whimpered and pulled himself deeper into himself, but his legs didn't seem to be connected to his brain.

Hero gently rolled Villain's head up to face her and nearly gasped when she took in the sight. He looked like a sick, stray cat. Mucus drained out of his nose as vomit spewed out from the corner of his mouth. His half-lidded eyes were bloodshot and had deep eyebags underneath with dried blood coating his cheeks. He had multiple, nasty cold sores all around his lips- or were they infected cuts? Maybe both.

"Why is he in this state?" Hero asked, astounded. This violated so many regulations and rules- the prison could be shut down, many heroes arrested or fined.

Superhero didn't respond. Instead, he appeared at Hero's side and crouched down next to Villain. The villain who didn't even seem to be aware of their presences.

Hero grabbed one of the wrists that were so protectively cuddled next to Villain's chest. He whimpered, trying to resist Hero's touch.

"No," he mumbled. "No no no no. Don't give... m-more... that mm stop." Villain started to breath heavily, his already fast pulse speeding up. With a heavy heart, Hero knew without even looking that he was drugged badly.

"Superhero... why?" Hero squeaked, turning over a wrist to see them heavily bruised and still bleeding from his most recent dose.

Villain started thrashing, but his legs wouldn't move.

"Why can't he move?" Hero asked, running a hand along Villain's shoulder. "Why can't he move his legs?!"

Superhero inhaled deeply then said, "He's very sick, uh... he probably has some sort of infection that makes it hard for him to move his lower body. Maybe, I don't really know."

"You don't even know what's wrong with your prisoner," Hero scoffed in disbelief, dragging Villain's limp body into her lap. She tried not to notice the wetness seeping into her jeans. It would only infuriate her that such a sick person would be kept in a wet and cold cell on top of being drugged daily without any medicines to help kick his fever.

"He's sick."

Obviously.

"I'm taking him home," Hero said, and scooped his way too light form up. His legs dangled uselessly, head falling off towards the side.

"That's illegal," Superhero pointed out. "He is in our custody now."

"And where does our rules permit excessive use of sedatives," Hero said in the same, authoritive tone. "Minimal use only to relax a distressed prisoner and only when necessary. Also, never to the point of unconsciousness." Hero gestured with her head towards Villain's closed eyes.

"And where do they permit us heroes to contain a villain on private property?" Superhero tutted. "Set him down and let me do my job."

"I'll call the authorities," Hero threatened, "and take you to court."

Superhero groaned and threw his hands in the air. That was not a risk he could take.

"Fine," he growled, storming out of the room, leaving Hero in silence other than the slow dripping from a leaky pipe.

She quickly tore off her fleece and wrapped Villain's shivering body up. His eyes fluttered open and he mumbled something incoherently, but that was all as his eyelids slipped closed once again.

Then, she carried his ragdoll-like body out of the prison, down those steps, and into her car.

She laid Villain's limp form on one of the backseats, propping his lolling head against the window and buckled him in. His arms hung lifeless at his sides, legs completely devoid of strength.

With a nervous whimper, Hero sped home.

At home, Hero took a warm washcloth and wiped off the dried blood and mucus to reveal unevenly toned skin underneath. She delicately picked the dry crust off his eyelashes and eyebrows. It was rock hard and the warm water wouldn't loosen it, so she was forced to pull on the tiny hairs. At least he wasn't conscious for the pinpoints of pain.

Hero suddered, thinking about what would happen when he did wake up. Surely, he would keep to his word and hurt her, beating her up for imprisoning him and then of course this newfound dilemma.

She looked down at his sleeping form and sighed. She had him elevated to make sure his airways stayed clear, but his head kept falling to the side and onto the backrest of her daybed. His lips quivered, forming soundless words and pleas.

Hero gently touched his forehead, retreating at the burning heat. His eyes slowly blinked open at the contact, he moaned, and then they rolled back again and closed.

Hero sat next to him for rest of the day, worriedly anticipating his attitude upon awakening. However, as the hours went on and Villain didn't seem to be regaining consciousness too much, Hero realized that they would be in for a roughly long time.

Villain was probably drugged like that the moment he entered that building and judging by his health and state of his wrists, Hero also guessed that there was no care whatsoever during the admission or the aftercare.

Hero ran her fingers over Villain's pale cheeks. His mouth was parted open and he snored slightly from the congestion. Tears leaked from his eyes, irritating the tender skin below. Hero went and grabbed some lotion, smearing the white cream over the red rashes.

Villain jerked away suddenly, curling into himself and protectively guarding his arms. His heavy breathing went shallower and quicker as tiny noises escaped his mouth. Hero sighed and stopped touching him; he was likely trapped in a nightmare.

Hours turned into days, and only then was Villain awake enough to be aware of Hero's looming presence.

Though, his reaction was not what Hero was expecting.

He screamed, shoving himself and his weak form to a corner of the bed and gathering his leaden limbs into a huddled mass of burning skin. He shrieked and sobbed, and watched Hero with wide, exhausted eyes.

"Leave me alone!" He yelled, pulling up the covers in a bade to protect himself. "Please."

Hero never once in her life felt so utterly useless.

She was, like Villain promised she would, paying for her actions.

#villain whumpee #hero caretaker #superhero whumper #hero x villain #drugged villain #sick villain #unconscious whumpee #tw nightmares #smoking mention #delirium #forced sedation #threats #threatening #paralysis #heros and villains #captivity whump

[vanillanaps]

Unthinkable | Bucky Barnes

Summary - Tired of hiding your relationship with Bucky, you decide that you’re ready to go public, but when he doesn’t have the reaction you expect, things take a turn for the worst

A/n - Unthinkable x Alicia Keys

Category - 40s!Bucky x black!Reader, angst

Warnings - well it’s the 40s with a black reader so, language, implied smut (if you squint) talks alluding to racism.

Word count - 2.0k

♡♡♡♡

A soft breeze gushed through the open space of the cracked window, filling the room with crisp air. Yours, along with his, body laid beneath the thin fabric that barely covered anything. Slick with sweat limbs were limp, chest heaving as your breathing tried to regulate. You were connected to one another, his fingertips trailing the side of your naked hip as his warm lips pressed soft kisses onto your shoulder.

“I should go soon, doll.” He muttered into your neck, a smile gracing his lips once he heard you groan. Wrapping his arms fully around your waist and pulling your body flush against his, “I know, I know. I don’t wanna go either, but I have to.”

You relished in the moment for a while longer. The way his lips felt against yours, his calloused hands following along the curves of your body, gripping it where he pleased before it all ended. Bucky pulled away from you with one last kiss. You watched him as he sat on the side of your bed, pulling his boxers up his legs and over his hips.

A quiet sigh escaped you as the dread flooded in. You hated this. Bucky quietly sneaking his way into your neighborhood, into your window to spend a few hours of the night with you. A whole 19 hours passing by before you could hold him in your arms again. Sure, you’d see him on the streets, but what good was that? You couldn’t walk over to him, hug him, hold his hand, kiss him. Hell, you would barely be able to speak to him without receiving the looks you had gotten for simply just living in your skin. But, was it worth it? Was fearing the way people viewed you worth you finally being happy in public with the love of your life? Would it be worth letting the plethora of women that came up to flirt with Bucky fly free? Countless amounts of times had you watch women walk up and flirt with your man. Of course, he’d turn them down but not without that charming smile that had them still thinking they had a chance. That charming smile that won you over in the first place.

You wanted to be able to flaunt Bucky. To tell those women that he was taken by you. To be able to tell your family that you were in a happy relationship and found someone to spend the rest of your life with. A man that you were so deeply in love with and who were ready to have a family with, but you couldn’t do that in hiding.

Your eyes followed Bucky around your room as he collected his scattered clothes, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” He glanced over at you, letting you know that he was listening before pulling on his pants. Taking your lip between your teeth, watching him dress, you started second guessing yourself. What if he didn’t feel the same as you did? What if he only liked you because it was a secret? He would be satisfied with his lay for the night and was relieved in the fact that he wouldn’t be bothered by you until he would be by your window again—No, no. Bucky wouldn’t do that, Bucky loved you inside and out, he would never use you in the way that you're implying. He’d never use you in a way that you didn’t want to be used, “Doll? What’s going on in that beautiful brain of yours?”

The concern in his voice pulled you from your thoughts and pushed away all the bad ones. He sat besides you, his steel blue eyes locked into your brown ones. You finally spoke, “..What do you think of me?”

Bucky eyebrows shot up in surprise. He could tell by the look on your face that something was bothering you, but was he expecting this question? Not in a million years, “What kind of question is that?” He huffed out a laugh.

“Buck, be serious.” You pouted, pulling yourself up to lean against the headboard, using the blanket to cover your chest, “What do you think of me?”

His eyes searched your face, finally realizing that you were serious. Had he done something recently to make you doubt yourself in such a way? Had he not been showering you in enough love whenever he got a chance to see you? Did he not call you beautiful enough? Spew to you much he loved you?

He nodded taking your hand into his, letting his thumb brush over your knuckles, “Well first, I think you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You’re gorgeous, smart, hilarious, compassionate. You’re the only woman that I have ever loved more than anything in this world. And I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you...someday.”

Someday. Someday. Someday. The word repeated over and over in your head. Someday when? Today? Tomorrow? In the near future? How could it be someday when there wasn't a day the two of you had been seen together.

Your heart was beating out of your chest. Nerves taking over your entire body. It was now or never. If he loved you like he said he did, there would be no objections, “I don’t wanna hide us anymore, Bucky.”

This time, it was Bucky’s turn for his heart to beat out of his chest. Were you being serious? Where did all this come from? The two of you had a schedule and it was there for a reason.

His eyebrows furrowed as he let out a nervous chuckle, “Baby, you’re joking—right? Tell me you’re joking?”

Your chest filled with pain as the tears bubbled in your eyes, pulling your hand from his grasp as you cleared your throat desperately not wanting to cry, “I’m serious, James.” His face dropped at the usage of his first name. He hated when you called him that. It was too serious—too formal. James didn’t feel like him. To you, he was Bucky, baby. Now you sat here calling him by his government, it definitely wasn’t a joke.

“But, why? Why would you want that? I mean, we do this for a reason, Doll.” He expressed, trying to reach out for your hand again only for you to push it away as you scrabbled out of the bed, scanning the room for your clothes now as he took your spot from watching on the bed.

“Why would I want that? Maybe because I’m sick and tired of us having to hide. Seeing you for what? 5 hours out of the 24 of the day? Sometimes even longer due to us working, or just having separate lives completely?” You ranted, pulling your undergarments on, picking up your dress from hours before and tossing it in the hamper, “I want to be seen with you, Bucky. I want to be able to kiss and hug you without a care in the world. Walk down the street holding your hand. Cuddle up with you at the theatre while watching a movie. I want to tell those girls that come up to that you’re taken! I don’t want to watch from the sidelines anymore! I’ve been doing it for a year and I don’t want to be your dirty little secret anymore!”

“Y/n, lower your voice before someone gets suspicious.” Bucky told you as he stood from his spot on your bed and made his way over to you, stopping you from wandering around the room. You were frustrated and he could tell by the way you had started cleaning in the middle of your rant, “Look at me.” He pleaded, face following yours as you turned it in every way trying to avoid him, but eventually his hand came up to grab your chin, forcing your face to stay still as his eyes came in contact with yours, “I hear you baby, loud and clear. I love you and I’d never want you to feel unhappy or insecure in our relationship—but we do this for a reason. Do you have any idea about the things people will say about you? The looks you’ll get? Baby we can’t, not now at least.”

“What can they say about me that they already haven’t, Bucky?” You sighed, finally letting that tear slip down your cheek, “I don’t care about them, I care about you! I care about us! And this—situation we have is hurting me.”

“I’m just trying to protect you.” He tried explaining.

You pushed his hand away, moving away from his body as you walked to the opposite side of the room, “Trying to protect me or trying to protect you?”

“Excuse me?” Bucky was taken back by your words.

Your tongue ran over your now dried lips, the saltiness from your tears now lingered on your taste buds, “How can you say you want to spend the rest of your life with me when you don’t even want to be seen in public with me?”

Now it was his turn to get defensive, “Don’t put words into my mouth.”

“How else am I supposed to take it?! What are you protecting me from, hmm? Have you listened to anything I’ve said?! People are going to talk about me because I’m just me. Simply because my skin is darker than yours and theirs.Whether I’m with you or not! I don’t care about what people think of me, if I did they would’ve ran me out of this town a long time ago. The only opinion I care about is yours!” You argued, “But clearly you do care about what everyone else says.”

Bucky stood there, shocked and confused. Just a few days ago, you were perfectly confined in what the two of you had been doing for over a year now. What had drastically changed that had you wanting to risk it all, “Yes, Y/n, I do care because I don’t want to sit and listen to people shit talk the girl I’m in love with! I want to marry you! I will marry you! I’ll propose to you right now and go out to get you a ring. I will do anything to make you happy and you know that. Why can’t you do this for me and just be patient?”

“Patient ‘till when? No matter where we go, we will get looks from people, Bucky! There’s no stopping that!” You were exasperated. This was getting nowhere, he was hellbent on staying a secret and you were the exact opposite. You were foolish to ever think this would work. Not in these times, “It’s getting late. Maybe you should just go.”

“So that’s it? You’re gonna kick me out now?” He questioned, waiting for response, but when your eyes never left the ground he got his answer. Bucky shook his head as put his shoes on before grabbing his jacket and going over to your window, opening it more. His escape route since it caused less attention than your front door. He glanced back at you one more, “I love you.” If possible, you’d be able to hear his heart shatter into a thousand pieces when you didn’t return your affection. There was never a time he didn’t leave you without the both of you saying I love you. This has done it now.

You watched from the corner of your eye as he left through the window. You waited a minute before going over to check if he was clear as you shut the window. Not a moment passed by before the tears began rolling. You questioned how a simple request had turned into this whole fiasco. You should’ve listened to your gut and never asked that stupid question because now everything you worked for, had gone to waste. All the love and commitment that had been put into your relationship was in the trash. Guess it wasn’t meant to be after all.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x yn #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x black!reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes

[fanfic-collection]

Loki x Reader: Confessions - Drabble

so this is my 2500th post so that's exciting. But I tried a different genre of writing and I hate it so much. I don't like this story but I was given a prompt that I wanted to write and it just sorta fit sooo, hopefully someone enjoys it.

-

Rain fell in a steady drizzle, soaking you to the bone. In the distance, somber bells tolled, marking the time of day. Their musical cadence would be warm and welcoming if it weren’t for the coldness in your heart.

He had chosen someone else. He would be with someone else and you, what would you have?

The wind rushed up around you, fluttering your clothes and chilling you further to the bone. Nothing felt as cold as your heart though.

In a matter of minutes you would be at your apartment building, you could go inside and dry off. But you would still be cold. Maybe a hot shower? You knew the coldness in your heart was too much for even boiling water to thaw.

You walked up the stairs. Your roommate, the man you had spent years pining after, had fallen for another.

You fumbled with the keys on the lock and quietly let yourself in, half expecting to see her with him.

Walking down the hall, you went to his room, to Loki’s room and opened the door. You didn’t bother knocking, you couldn’t risk waiting and having him say he was busy.

You stepped in and Loki lay on his bed, reading a book silently, legs crossed and one hand resting behind his head.

Immediately you felt cold, bitter tears stream down your cheeks and you hoped desperately that the rain still on your face would hide it. Though your puffy eyes gave you away.

Loki looked over, startled that you had entered into his room without knocking. He straightened up and set the book down.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

You shook your head, tears flooding your eyes. You wiped them with the back of your sleeve. Mostly it just smeared the wetness already on your face around.

“You should change into something dry, you’ll get sick.” Loki said, walking closer to you, hands held out gently.

“Every day we wake up in this apartment.” You began, sniffling. “Every day, we talk and see each other. But do you really see me?”

Loki tilted his head and opened his mouth to reply.

You pressed on. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.” You shook your head. “But I have to tell you. I just can’t act like it’s any different.”

“You’re speaking in riddles.”

“I love you, alright? You always say no one cares about you, but I love you. From the moment I laid eyes on you to this very second. I love your smile, your laugh, your face, everything about you. I love the way you tilt your head when you’re confused. I love to think about how your hair feels. I love your humor, your mischief, I love the broken parts of you too. I just…” You trailed off and added in a quiet whisper. “I love you, all of you.”

Loki blinked. “Are you finished?”

The response felt like a sting and you shook your head. “Who was she? Your date, she’s not coming over right?”

Loki sighed and walked over to you, resting his hand on your shoulder before taking your other hand in his. “Darling.”

You looked up at the pet name.

Loki took his thumb and cupped your cheeks, wiping away the tears. He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

Stunned, all you could do was stand rock still. You were too terrified to respond. Too terrified that this moment was a dream and reacting would break the feather soft kiss of his lips on yours.

Loki pulled back slowly, somewhat unsure.

“You kissed me.” You whispered.

“Does that answer your question?”

“My what?” Your brain was completely empty, mind blank and unable to form words.

Loki pressed his forehead to yours as he stared you in the eye. “I have always loved you. I just never knew how to say it.”

You pulled back, feeling more tears in your eyes. “You’re lying. You’re cruel and you’re lying.”

Loki furrowed his brows, a flash of anger in them. “No. I’m not. I mean this sincerely. You of all people would believe me, no?”

Your shoulders slumped. “But the girl?”

“Lady Sif is visiting and saw fit to see me over a meal. She doesn’t trust me, so she wanted to see what I’ve been doing.”

“Sif?” You hiccupped.

Loki nodded.

“Thor’s friend?”

“She was once my friend, loosely speaking.”

You moved forward abruptly, wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in his chest. Breathing him in, the warmth, his scent, everything you had grown to love about him. Tears continued to fall down your cheeks, wetting his shirt but he held you anyways, gently stroking your back.

“Shh, love. It’s alright.”

You looked up at him. “You really mean it?”

“I really mean it.”

“Come, let’s get you dried off and watch one of those movies you so enjoy.”

Heart suddenly feeling lighter, you felt the traces of a smile on your face. You were too scared to believe this was really happening, but for now, you would take whatever you could get.

The chiming bells in the distance no longer sounded somber and gloomy. Their tune was light and airy and a warmth spread in your heart.

“Ok. I love you.”

“And I love you. Come.”

#Loki x reader #Loki laufeyson #Loki fanfic #ficbit #oneshot #one shot

[myheelsdontmatchmysweatpants]

You're not happy anymore. He either doesn't see it, or doesn't care.

Warnings: just angst, mentions of sex, swearing.

A/N: I was feelin some type of way and decided to break my own heart. Let me know if I broke yours too!

You’re sitting in the kitchen when your fiancé comes home from patrol. Your head in your hands, leg bouncing up and down, tissue box empty.

“Hey love, I’m gonna hop in the shower really quick. I didn’t have time when I was at the agency.” Izuku walks right by you, kissing your head and dropping his keys and wallet on the table.

You make a non-committal noise and stay where you are. Never expecting him to notice anything right away, he can only do that when he is in “hero” mode.

You're stuck in your head when he comes out of the bathroom, flinching when he puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Babe? Is everything okay? I’ve been trying to get your attention.” Izuku sits at the table and leans his head down to make eye contact with you.

You sit still for a moment, working up the energy to look at him. Glancing his direction to see the worry in his eyes, and the confusion. The confusion is what gives you the courage to finally speak.

“I’m- “you clear your throat, voice ragged from sobbing the past hour. “- I’m not happy.”

“Well clearly, you’re not happy baby, you have mascara all over your face. How long have you been crying?” He grabs your chin, tilting your face so that he can wipe your cheeks. “Did something happen at work?”

Gently removing his hand from your face and shaking your head you feel your eyes start to well up again. “No Izuku. I am not happy.” You look him in the eyes, hoping that he can read the emotions there and not make you say it out loud.

“That’s okay honey, you don’t have to be happy right now.” Izuku shakes his head and a smile crawls up on his face. You know that smile, it’s not a special one for you, you haven’t seen a real smile from him in years. It the one you see on the news, his hero smile. Perfect for making civilians feel safe and for news reporters to take pictures.

He grasps your hand, squeezing it and tilting his head, confusion still lingering in his eyes. It hurts, knowing that he has no idea what you're talking about. For him, this information is going to come out of left field, for you it has been rotting in your brain for months.

“Let’s just order some of your favorite food and we can watch a movie. Yeah?”

You pull your hand from his, standing up from your seat, the chair scraping against the floor. “No, Izuku I –“ The tears are spilling over now, turning the already black streaks from your mascara grey.

Izuku pushes of from the table and stands up, a tired look on his face that only makes you cry harder. “Whoa whoa baby, why are you crying? You have to calm down, there isn’t any reason for you to be crying right now.” He walks towards you, following as you back up until you bump up against the counter top.

“Just… just give me a minute” Dragging your fingers through you hair you flinch when he reaches for you, but it doesn’t faze him.

“Hey, don’t be like that just talk to me.” He grabs your shoulders, the tight grip scaring you but the look in his eyes is breaking your heart.

“I. Am. Not. Happy.” You push his arms off you and stand tall, not wanting to drag this out any longer.

“I know you –“ He goes to grab at you again, but you push his hands down pointing your finger at his chest.

“NO, you don’t know Izuku. I am not happy here. I haven’t been happy for months and you haven’t noticed anything. I am not happy with you, with us!” You choke, the words coming up faster than you can say them. “I knew what I was getting into when we got engaged. You are a top ranked hero, and I am just a normal person. How could I ever compare? How could I ever complain when you are saving the world?!”

You can see the change in his attitude as soon as you start yelling. He stops reaching for you, standing up straight and crossing his arms. His emerald eyes darken, like a forest after night fall and his breathing gets even. You’ve seen this look before too, the look he gives ‘villains’ to make them stand down or risk his wrath.

“I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE!” You know what’s going to happen, he's going to muscle his way into making you “calm down” and this argument will go nowhere, your life will go nowhere. “I'M LONELY ALL THE TIME, I'VE STARTED MAKING MEALS SPECIFICALLY KNOWING THAT YOU AREN’T GONNA BE HOME TO EAT THEM.”

You start pacing in the kitchen, keeping the island in between you both.

“I DON’T TALK TO OUR FRIENDS ANYMORE; ALL THEY DO NOW IS LOOK AT ME WITH PITY. I HAVEN’T SPOKEN TO MY PARENTS BECAUSE THEY ASK ME ABOUT CHILDREN AND WHEN WE AREN’T EVEN HAVING SEX!”

You take a breath, and he takes the chance to but in. “We do have sex, we had sex last week!” Izuku throws his hands up a sigh falling out of his mouth, a bomb that destroys your soul.

“Really, Izuku? REALLY? I’m telling you that I am not happy in this relationship anymore and the only thing you comment on is our SEX LIFE?” The tears are poring down your face, flooding your mouth and drenching your shirt. “Have you even noticed that I haven’t worn my engagement ring for two months?”

His gaze shoots to your finger, eyes narrowing when he doesn’t see the silver band around it. “Why haven’t you been wearing your ring? Why are you like this all of a sudden? Have you been talking to someone else?” His eyes are even darker, the fury on his face palpable.

You huff out a laugh, the sound broken and distorted. “You haven’t heard a word I said, have you?” Your arms drop to your sides, your heart broken into sand, your soul burnt up into ash.

“I think we just need to take a minute and talk about this, calmly, like adults.”

You look up at him and he flinches. There is absolutely no life in your eyes, the once beautiful color dim and muddled.

“I’m leaving Izuku, my stuff is already packed.” You walk past him, a ghost moving on to the next life. “I left the ring on your pillow, and I’ll make sure to transfer my half of the rent until you find a new place.”

He doesn’t move from his spot in the kitchen, his body frozen.

You grab the last couple bags of your stuff that were right next to the door and slip on your shoes.

“Good bye Izuku, please” You let out a sob “Please don’t contact me.”

#izuku x reader #midoryia x reader #izuku midoriya #mha x y/n #bnha #deku #deku x reader #deku x y/n #bnha angst #mha angst #deku angst #lilliths masterlist #lillith masterlist #lillith writes #lilliths writing

[bookishofalder]

Pretty Girl - Four

Summary: In which a call for help leads to Flip and Pretty Girl facing their feelings.

Warnings: Smut. 18+, NSFW, Swearing, PIV. WC- 5,506

A/N: Admittedly very excited to write the chapter. Suffered a few days of migraines this week, which now has me questioning every word I’ve written, but I hope you enjoy. To those who comment and follow regularly, you guys truly bring me joy and I appreciate you ❤️

Flip was dreaming in flashes. The events of the week prior, in the file room with (Y/N), replaying themselves over and over. Flash, her wide eyes. Flash, the way she wet her lips. Flash, the brief look of disappointment when they were interrupted. He’d been ruminating on that look, however neither of them brought it back up again-not after the meeting, where she’d sat next to him with her foot shaking uncharacteristically, nor on the silent drive home. It just...sat in the air between them, a balloon neither of them wanted to pop.

Already suffering from poor sleep quality, Flip was now sinking into a permanently exhausted state with the addition of nightly dreams that kept him on the edge of consciousness. His brain seemed determined to keep thoughts of (Y/N) at the forefront regardless of the time of day. He had been in love a few times in his life; with women who were kind, eager to become the housewife of a detective. But he never felt for anyone like he did for (Y/N). The protectiveness, the desire to know everything about her, to know what she was thinking...it was overwhelming. And so the dreams kept him tossing each night. And while he might have stayed like this, fighting them until he slipped into a deeper sleep, he was instead abruptly awoken when the phone next to his bed began a shrill ringing.

“Christ,” He mumbled, jerking up and rolling over. The clock on his bed stand read two-thirty in the morning. He grumbled in displeasure, intending on ignoring it. When the ringing didn’t cease, he groaned and reached for the receiver, his voice gruff with sleep when he barked, “Zimmerman.”

“Um, hi Flip.”

Flip immediately tensed, sitting up as the sound of (Y/N)‘s voice came down the line. His mind was already running ahead making the worst assumptions about why she would be calling so late on the weekend. It wasn’t a surprise when his voice came out slightly choked, “Pretty girl, are you alright? Are you safe?”

Her voice sounded somewhat strained with regret, “I’m safe, really. I’m so sorry to bother you so late-“

“Just tell me what you need, darling.” He interrupted, twisting to drop his feet to the floor and casting his eyes around the dark bedroom for his sweatpants.

She sighed, “The power went out here a few hours ago, and I’m not sure why. But with the weather tonight it’s absolutely freezing in here now. And my brother in law is away for work,” She took another breath, which Flip recognized was her attempt at hiding how cold she was, “I feel silly calling you.” He smiled, pleasure blooming in his chest at the realization that after her brother in law, Flip was the next person she trusted to call in the middle of the night.

Flip hummed slightly at her words, “No reason to feel silly-I’ll be over there in ten, take a look for you.” A voice in the back of his mind questioned whether this was a wise choice, but he pushed it back, ignoring it. She needed him.

“You don’t have to do that. If you could maybe just tell me what to look for on my, uh, breaker? Electric panel?”

Now he couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out, “I’m coming over, darling. I’ll see you soon.”

A quiet thank you met his ears as he put the phone down. Flip switched on the light and stood, making his way around his room to put on his sweatpants and sweater before stopping in the bathroom to freshen up and splash his face with water to wake up. The combination of cold water and mint from his toothpaste helped accomplish this. Excitement flooded within him at the realization he would get to see her so soon.  

Pulling his shoes on, he considered if there was anything he should bring. He knew she probably had a toolkit but wondered if she would have a high powered flashlight. Deciding to lean on the side of caution, he grabbed his own from the kitchen drawer before sliding on his rain jacket, grabbing his keys and heading out into the cold night. It was rainy, a combination that meant the roads were especially tricky to drive on. His ten-minute drive was closer to twenty, tension building in his stomach the closer he got.

He was worried about being alone with her, of the risk of crossing a line. Worrying she would ask him what she had in the file room.

“Are you sure you aren’t keeping anything from me?”

How did you confess to loving your best friend, when they were the only good thing in your life?

When Flip pulled his truck onto her street, he noticed straight away that it was darker in her neighbourhood than on the main road. Glancing around at the houses, he saw no lights on, not even on porches. Parked in the driveway, Flip looked at (Y/N)‘s dark house as he stepped from his truck, then around the street. It was eerily dark, even the streetlights were out. So it had to be a power outage from the weather and not an issue with her breaker.

Hopping up her front steps, Flip rapped on the door softly. After a moment, the door opened to reveal his friend smiling shyly, a flashlight in her hand. “Hi Flip, come on in. Thanks for coming.”

She stepped back and secured the door while he removed his jacket and shoes, shaking some rain from his hair. “Hi, darling.” He looked around at her then, drinking in her casual appearance.

Her hair was falling in soft waves over her shoulders, her face clear of makeup. She wore a pair of plaid pyjama bottoms with an oversized CSPD sweatshirt. Flip felt his stomach fill with heat at the sight of her looking so...radiant. Innocent. Soft.

“Got some good news, and some bad, darling.” He said after a pause.

She gestured for him to follow her into the living room. Glancing around the cozy space, he saw she had lit a few candles along her fireplace mantle to bring some light to the room. Even in the dim light, he could tell the space was decorated entirely by her. Her personality shone through even in the choice of wallpaper.

(Y/N) leaned against the back of her couch, hands gripping it as she gazed up at Flip, “Always bad news first.” He wanted to reach out and smooth the little pucker between her brows.

“Well, looks like the whole neighbourhood is experiencing an outage, no lights-not even the street lights.”

She sighed heavily, “Great, so not something that can be fixed right now-meaning I woke you up for nothing.” Dropping her head into her hands, he heard her give a little grunt of despair.

Flip smiled down at her, amused. If only she knew he couldn’t sleep anyway. “The good news is nothing is wrong with your breaker. And now that I’m here we can get you set up for the night so you don’t freeze. It’ll probably be out for a while.”

She peered up at Flip through her fingers, eyes assessing his grin. “You’re not annoyed with me?”

Flip forced himself not to step closer to her, “No, darling. Now, let’s get a fire going.”

They worked in silence, the only sound the distant rain and occasional blasts of wind. Flip stacked the firewood, thankful her fireplace was large, while (Y/N) laid out the newspaper strips and kindling for him. Once he had the fire roaring, Flip assessed the room.  

The comfortable looking couch was set back from the fireplace, a coffee table in the centre. Standing, he dragged the table out of the way before coming to the couch and pulling it toward the fire. It took a minute, as it was a heavy son of a bitch, but after some finessing he was satisfied it was close enough without being unsafe for her to sleep on and keep warm. He’d wanted to avoid having her sleep on the floor.

While he’d been moving the furniture, (Y/N) had disappeared. He took a moment to survey the setup, then bent over the fire and took the poker to adjust the logs. She returned several minutes later, pillows and blankets in her arms. She dropped them over the back of the couch, then glanced up and met Flip‘s eyes. She paused, standing nervously, hands twisting together absentmindedly. “Um. Can I get you anything? Milk? Water?”

Flip probably should just thank her and make his way home, he’d done what he could for her. He could easily leave now. Instead, he nodded, “Milk would be nice, thanks.” Spinning around, she hurried away to her kitchen, leaving Flip alone again. He considered his next moves. He could just drink the milk in one gulp and then go home. Only...he wanted to stay. Even if just for a short while. The thought of spending time with (Y/N) that wasn’t during their drives to and from work thrilled him. It couldn't hurt to stay a little longer.

He settled himself on the ground, leaning his back against the couch and crossing his legs comfortably. The warmth from the fire was welcome; it was chilly inside her place.

(Y/N) reappeared, padding across the carpeting, “Here you go,” Handing him his glass, Flip took it and watched as she joined him on the floor, copying his pose so that her knee touched his leg. His heart rate increased.

He grabbed one of the larger blankets and carefully settled it over their laps. They sat in silence for several minutes, each watching the fire dance before them as they sipped their drinks. Flip heaved a sigh of content. “Always loved a good fire.” He admitted, smiling down at her.

“Mmm, me too. Listen, Flip,” Turning to face him, he saw her mouth pressed into a thin line. She tucked her legs back and propped one arm onto the couch. Flip met her gaze steadily, prepared for her to apologize. “I’m really sorr-“

Flip shook his head, cutting her off, “I’m glad you called. I don’t mind, and I can tell you’re more upset than you’re saying.”

Her eyes dropped, looking down into her drink before taking a sip. “I-I’m not a fan of the dark. Silly, I know.” She gave a little laugh that didn’t suit her. Flip could sense she was uncomfortable, tired and still cold. He hated to see her looking so self-conscious, unhappy. It lit something within him that was almost animalistic in its intensity.

“It’s not silly, (Y/N). I don’t like it much myself.” He replied, taking another drink of his milk, finishing it off. “You need to stop apologizing to me all the time, haven’t I told you I could never be upset with you?” When would she start to believe him? He gave her a reassuring smile while his hands gripped the empty glass, attempting to keep himself from reaching out to tuck her hair back or stroke her cheek.

The light of the fire revealed the way her cheeks flushed deliciously at his words, and suddenly she was looking everywhere but at Flip.

“I want you to know, Flip,” (Y/N) shifted, mirroring his position by gripping the glass she held, “You mean the world to me, and I’m thankful every day to...to call you my best friend. You take such good care of me, never make me feel bad...always know what I need,” Her words were rushing out, soft and breathless as she stared down into her drink, “Most men would have probably just told me to start a fire and go back to bed, but you just come straight over and-“ She gestured around to make her point. Slowly, her eyes moved up and met his gaze.

Flip turned her words over in his head, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. To stall for time, he reached over and took her glass from her hands. Setting both on the floor behind him, he came to a decision. Conceding to the desire to touch her, he took her small hands into his own. He ran his thumbs across the soft skin of her wrists, relishing in the contact.

“I like taking care of you, darling. You do so much for me and give yourself no credit. You worry every time you need something yourself,” He searched her eyes as he spoke, wanting to catch any expression that passed through them, “I like spending time with you. Making sure you’re safe, and I-well, you’re my best friend, I’d do anything for you.” He broke off when a hot tear slipped down her cheek and onto the back of his hand.

Her eyes were a storm of emotions as she looked at Flip, tears leaking out, her lips quivering. His whole chest tightened as he watched her. He automatically released her hands, raising his to cup her face. He brushed his thumbs under her eyes, wiping away the tears gently, before meeting her gaze again.

The air in the room seemed to evaporate around them. Electricity shot through Flip’s entire body, and he couldn’t have said who moved first, just that one moment he was looking from her (y/e/c) eyes to her lips, and then their lips pressed together. Flip felt like he’d burst into flames, and he gasped at the sensation.

(Y/N)’s hands had moved up from her lap, now holding the collar of Flip’s sweater and pulling him closer as they kissed. He gripped her face, fingers in her hair, nearly moaned at how soft her lips were against his. Instinctively, his tongue swiped across them, and she responded by parting them, allowing him to slip inside her mouth. He groaned loudly at the overwhelming taste of her, of the heat of her mouth. He'd never tasted anything so fucking perfect.

When she whimpered loudly, it caught Flip entirely off guard. Though heat pulsed straight to his core at the sound, it brought him back into his mind and he jerked back suddenly, breaking the kiss.

(Y/N) hadn’t been expecting his sudden movement, so when Flip had pulled back and her grip on his shirt didn’t loosen, she only ended up falling into him. Her eyes peered up at him, pupils blown and cheeks flushed as she leaned into his chest. She panted, “Wha-?”

Flip was trying to catch his breath, to clear his head. He’d just kissed his best friend. They were alone in her house and they had kissed, and the entire situation was terrifying to him.

He didn’t think he could stop if they kept going.

“I’m sorry, I-fuck, pretty girl, do you know what you do to me?” He growled, his hands still holding her face. Her eyes widened further as he spoke. “Do you realize how much I love you? How fucking perfect you are?”

She was trembling uncontrollably, “Flip, fuck I-did you say you love me?” Shock crossed her face, her mouth falling open into an ‘o’ shape as she processed what he’d said.

Damn it all, he thought. It’s out now. “Are you kidding me? Sweetest, most beautiful woman I ever met.” He huffed, never looking away, “(Y/N), I think I’ve been in love with you ever since you came out of that bathroom, afraid of that damn spider. Keep falling harder every day. You drive me crazy, pretty girl.”

His heart was in his stomach and his mouth had gone dry, but it felt good to admit it out loud, to tell her about the feelings he’d been holding back for so long. She was silent for a long moment, just staring at Flip in complete disbelief. He braced for whatever she was going to say, promising himself that he wouldn’t regret ever telling her the truth, even though his heart might burst right out of his chest.

He hadn’t expected her reaction; when her mind seemed to catch up with itself and the surprise disappeared from her face, replaced by something that had Flip catch his breath. And then her lips were on his again. She was released his collar to push her hands into his hair, whimpering as she pressed her body against his in a frantic flurry of motion.  

Flip, though caught off guard, wasted no time in returning the fervour of her kiss, deepening it by sliding one hand further into her hair and pressing her face into his. He licked into her hot mouth eagerly, enjoying the little moans and whimpers that slipped out of her as she kissed him back. After a moment, he dropped the hand that wasn’t woven into her soft locks and gripped her waist, tugging her closer. (Y/N) moved, swinging a leg over his lap and straddling him fully.

“Fuck,” He growled when her hips, settled right where he wanted her, ground into him, desperately seeking friction. “Pretty girl.”

Another whimper, “Love it when you call me that, Flip.” She tugged his hair and Flip groaned again, his entire body on fucking fire for this woman. Did she truly not realize the effect she had on him?

He released his hold on her and slid both hands under her sweater, ghosting across her soft stomach as he continued to pepper kisses onto her cheeks, her jaw, down her neck. His hands climbed higher, brushing the undersides of her breasts, his dick twitching as he realized she wore no bra beneath the bulky sweater. He wanted to kiss every inch of her body, to suck and bite marks into her skin as she moaned for more, but he needed to make sure, absolutely sure, she wanted this.

With a great effort, he pulled away, his hands stilling on her bare waist, and said her name. Before he could say more, she was cutting him off, eyes bright.

“You big, grumpy man. My rough, tough detective. I love you too,” She ground her hips down again, pulling a growl from deep within Flip. Combined with her words, the effects had Flip slowly coming undone, his clear mind fogging up with thoughts of her, her body, her pleasure. “I wanted to tell you, but I was so afraid of losing you. I think about you all the time, did you know that, Flip? Do you know I lay in my bed every night and picture you? Touch myself and it only takes a minute to-“

“Fuck,” He thundered, interrupting her and kissing her again, “Just tell me what you want-I’ll give you anything, everything. Tell me it’s okay-“

“I need you, Flip. I’m yours and I need you,” She accented the words with another swirl of her hips, Flip’s cock now straining against his sweatpants painfully, “Fuck me all night and stay in the morning, Flip.”

His heart filling with joy, Flip had heard what he needed. The next moments were spent frantically undressing one another-first her sweater; Flip’s eyes on her delicious tits as they bounced around while she stood and shimmied her pyjamas and underwear off. He drank in her beautiful, perfect body, all soft curves and flushed skin, as he kicked off his pants.

“Come here, pretty girl,” He rasped, pulling her back into his lap and groaning when her heat skimmed across his cock as she settled. Flip smoothed a hand up her back, bracing her carefully, and then lifted himself, rolling them so that her body lay on the blanket beneath them, her hair fanned out around her. “Fuck, you are so beautiful. Gonna taste you, okay?”

She whimpered her permission as he began his journey downward, taking his time to suck marks into her skin that he would lave over with his tongue to soothe. His hands found their way to her breasts and began to pinch and squeeze, rolling the peaks between a thumb and finger and groaning against her skin when she cried out in pleasure at the sensation.

“Oh god, Flip!” She moaned loudly when he took a nipple into his mouth, his tongue moving over it before he switched to her other breast. His hands slid to her hips, stilling their attempts to seek out the friction he was thus denying her. He trailed his tongue down her stomach, lowered himself to the ground between her legs and kissed the sensitive skin of her thighs, leaving more marks. He felt his cock protesting between his body and the floor but ignored it when he came face to face with her slick centre, already glistening for him. Framed with trimmed, soft curls, it was the prettiest pussy he’d ever seen.

“So fucking wet already, barely even touched you,” Massaging her thighs, he tilted his head up and met her eyes over the swell of her breasts. “Such a good girl for me, aren’t you? Now put your hands in my hair while I taste this perfect fucking cunt.”

Her hands had barely threaded through his locks before his tongue was licking a long strip from the bottom up. Flip watched in delight as her entire body jerked in response, her head dropping to the floor, back arching. A long, low moan escaped her, and then he dove in.

Flip hummed at her taste, perfectly sweet and entirely her, turning him on even more. He licked everything, sucked on her sensitive clit until her legs began to shake, and then repeated it all over again. Occasionally breaking away to sink his teeth into the soft flesh of her inner thigh and revelling in the way she cried out his name each time. He never wanted to stop.

More of her juices flowed for him as time passed, as he edged her closer to her peak and then eased her back, teasing her without remorse. He wanted to hear her beg for more.  He wasn’t disappointed when, after pulling away the third time, her head popped up, “Flip, please, please let me cum. I fucking need to cum, you’re so perfect, I’m so close I can’t,” She broke off with a desperate whine.

Flip grinned, “Love hearing you beg for me, pretty girl,” He slid two fingers inside of her dripping heat at the same moment he wrapped his lips around her clit. He heard her head hit the floor as she screamed out, obscenities, his name, incomprehensible whines. He only had to thrust his fingers three times, curling them up each time they sunk into her before she came undone.

He was enraptured by the sight of her orgasm, the way her body jerked and tightened, her hands pulling his hair viciously as his name spilled from her lips. He worked her through the crest of her pleasure, humming against her to draw it out and drinking down everything she gave him. He thought he could die a happy man right there, drowning in her.

“Flip, fucking hell!” She cried out one final time, her cunt clenching around him when she became over sensitive to his ministrations. He eased back, kissing her thighs and licking gently at her folds as she came down, her hands dropping from his hair. He could have stayed there for hours, but his cock was protesting. Carefully moving, he brought his body up and lay over top of her, bracing himself on his elbows to keep his weight off of her as she caught her breath.

Flip growled at the sight of her blissed-out expression and kissed her hungrily, sloppily. She moaned, tasting herself on his lips. He leaned back up after a moment, “You still with me, pretty girl?” He gazed at her in concern, hoping he hadn't gone too hard.

A goofy smile split her face, “I’ve never cum that hard in my entire life, Flip Zimmerman. I’m pretty sure I’m on another plain right now.” He laughed, nuzzled her neck and ground his hips down, pressing his cock onto her thigh.

“You feel what you do to me?” His voice was low, “Been thinking about you for fucking months. Every day, all day, it’s just you. ”

“Flip,” (Y/N)‘s voice was breathless beneath him, her hands back in his hair, “Please, need you inside me right now, need to feel you stre-oh FUCK!”

He had slammed into her at her words, unable to hold back a moment longer. Splitting her open until he bottomed out, and then he stilled, panting, and checked in on her again. She was deliciously, dangerously tight around him, her walls already fluttering. She was crying out but nodding, seemingly unable to form words but wanted to convey to him that he could move.

“Good girl, just tell me if it’s too much. If this,” He slammed down again, earning another yelp, “is too much.” And then he began to pump, one arm braced on the ground while the other gripped her hip. He thrust into her wet cunt mercilessly, his eyes always on her face, watching for any change, any indication that she was in pain, but he saw only pleasure. Her screams only drove him on, encouraging him to move harder, to take what she so wanted him to and make her his. It was the best sex of his life, and Flip never wanted it to end.

When he felt himself getting close, he slowed his pace, kissed her once again, and then pulled back. Her heavy eyes watched as Flip, still deep inside of her, came to kneel and then he lifted her hips, adjusting her legs to one side, arms hooking under them. The new angle already had her whimpering before he began to move. She was so tight around him; he could see himself buried to the hilt inside of her and groaned at the perfect, obscene sight.

“Just,” He could barely speak, he was so turned on, “Tap my hand, if it’s too much, darling.” He knew she would tell him if she needed him to go easier, but he needed her to know she was safe with him, that her pleasure was the most important thing to him.

“Fuck me, fuckmefuckmefuck-“

With a roar, he was moving, his hips beginning a brutal pace now that he had the leverage of being on his knees. Her hands twisted into the blanket, tits bouncing as Flip hugged her legs and fucked into her as deep as he could. He repeated her name over and over, the only other sounds in the house that of skin hitting skin, the hot, wet noises her cunt made as she took his length, and her cries for more, harder, for him.

He felt her tightening around him after a short time, walls fluttering and getting wetter as he drove his hips into that spot over and over, unrelenting. “Going to cum for me, pretty girl?”

“I, fuck, Flip, I’m so close-you’re fucking filling me up oh god...”

“Cum, it’s okay, cum for me, please.”

As if waiting for him to ask, she instantly seized up at his words, and Flip almost went over the edge right there when her pussy clamped hard, her body jerking as the wave broke, and her pleasure peaked. He focused, holding off his own orgasm to chase her through hers, to drag it out until tears were in her eyes. His movements became sloppy, only slowing when he felt her begin to relax.

He had briefly wondered if he could keep himself on the edge, try to get another orgasm out of her. But then her voice cut through the air, firmer than it had been all night, and derailed his train of thought.

“Flip, please cum inside me, please, need your cum, please.”

“Fuck, fuck!” He cried out, slamming himself one, two, three more times, her words pulling him over, over, right off of the cliff and into oblivion. He kept his hips moving as he emptied himself inside of her, “Sweet girl, take it, fucking take it all.” Flip moaned, pumping every last drop of his seed with lazy thrusts, (Y/N) whimpering at the sensation of being filled. He had never cum like that in his entire life.

Though tempted to collapse, Flip was cautious as he lowered himself, kissing her stomach, breasts, neck, and then meeting her lips again. His tongue licked her mouth once more before he gripped her waist and rolled them. Now he lay on the floor with (Y/N) on top of him, head on his chest. Her walls still clenched around his cock. They both panted, catching their breath in comfortable silence.

Flip was clutching (Y/N), one hand rubbing gently into her lower back. His thoughts were thundering back, though they were happy. The realization of what had changed in the last two hours was making his heart swell in his chest. With their more primal needs satiated, his mind wandered. Because while that had been the best sex of his life, it was far outshone by the fact that his best friend had told him she was in love with him, too.

Flip grinned, and (Y/N) lifted her head to meet his eyes when she felt his movements.

“Happy with yourself, detective?” She panted, returning his grin with her best smile. Flip grabbed her waist and gently pulled her up, a little groan escaping each of them when his cock slipped out of her. Now level, Flip was able to lean up and kiss her, a chaste peck.

“Pretty girl, you’re the hottest fucking woman on this planet,” His voice was gruff from overexertion, “I feel like the luckiest man.” He continued, earning a happy little giggle.

“You say that like you didn’t just make me cum twice like it was easy.”

“Darling, I can make you cum all night if I want to. Just say the words.” He kissed her forehead softly.

A little whimper escaped before she could catch it. “Not saying I’m against the idea, but I need to use the ladies' room.” She made to get up but Flip held her tighter, stopping her. He wasn’t ready to be apart from her. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready, not anymore.

“I’ve got you,” He whispered. He repositioned her as he sat up, leading her legs to wrap around him and her arms to circle his neck. (Y/N) bit her lip as she let Flip raise them both from the floor, his hands sliding down to sink into the flesh of her bottom, holding her up. He carried her to the bathroom, kissing her between following her directions to the blue-tiled room.

He set her down on the toilet, then turned to the sink, squinting in the dark. One candle lit the room, and once his eyes adjusted he saw the neatly folded wash clothes on the vanity. He turned on the water and, knowing it would be cold, wet the cloth quickly before taking it to briefly wipe himself. He rinsed it and turned to (Y/N), who was still sitting on the toilet, her eyes following his every move.

“Did you pee?” Smiling at her comfortingly when she shied away from the question, “Pretty girl, let me take care of you.” He brushed his hand across her cheek affectionately.

“I did, yes.” She murmured. Flip nodded, then pushed her legs apart. Taking great care to be gentle, he ran the cool cloth along her folds. Ensuring to only move in one direction. She sighed in content as he cleaned her up.

Tossing the cloth into the sink, Flip picked her up again and moved them back to the living room. “You ever going to let me walk again?” She joked, clutching him close as he settled them down onto the couch. (Y/N) curled against him, one hand threaded in his hair. He reached down and pulled the blanket from the floor, covering their bodies, and kissed the top of her head.

“Meant what I said, darling.” He spoke into the night, his hand trailing up and down her back in soothing motions as the fire continued to warm the room, bathing it in a gentle glow.

The fire illuminated her eyes when she looked up, “I did too, Flip. And I-I don’t want to be just friends anymore.”

Flip nodded, one hand on her cheek, thumb brushing across the soft skin, “No, pretty girl, neither do I,” He agreed. They exchanged a look then that Flip would remember over everything else that happened during this utterly perfect night.

It sealed the love they’d been expressing that night, a look that told the other, I love you. I’m never leaving. You are everything to me.

“Get some sleep, beautiful. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

She snuggled in at his soothing words, a low moan of content rushing out before she closed her eyes.

For the first time in a long while, (Y/N) and Flip each fell asleep within minutes. Wrapped in one another’s arms, they would stay there until the sun came up.

Flip didn’t even need to dream that night.

Did you enjoy this chapter? Please consider reblogging or commenting—likes are basically just a bookmark!

Tag list ✨ @tashastrange89 @finn-ray-nal-beads @fizzywoohoo @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @morby @pradaxstyles

#reader insert #adam driver #adam driver x reader #fluff #fanfic #friends to lovers #adam driver x you #flip zimmerman x reader #best friend #smut #zimmerman x reader #flip zimmerman #new chapter #feedback appreciated #love #multichapter #flip x you

[romewritingshop]

I’m a Dad

Fandom: Choices, Open Heart, AU

Relationship: Dr. Ethan Ramsey X F!MC (Name: Alyssa Brooks)

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst, mentions of birth complications, Alan is okay no need to panic 😅, anxieties of fatherhood, slight injury (nothing gruesome).

Rating: 12+ Word Count Total: 3209

AN: This is a birthday commission for @tsrookie who wanted a fic of dad!Ethan. I hope this is what you wanted and enjoy. The song that inspired this was Michele Morrone’s Dad (Accoustic Version):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cDNO--sPgE

I wanted to portray the significance of Alan in Ethan and Alyssa’s lives. It was emotional writing this 🥺.

Rome’s Birthday Celebration Masterlist 2021

CHOICES MASTERLIST

Tagged: @eleanorbloom @juliafranquet @me-and-my-choices @drethanramslay @choicesficwriterscreations @queencarb @miss-smrxtiee @melaninnntae @they-callme-ami @openheartfanfics @mvalentine @starrystarrytrouble @drariellevalentine @nikki-2406 @caseyvalentineramsey @kiara-36 @choicesreal @sophxwithers @brightningstar @tsrookie @gryffindordaughterofathena @arnikki-2406 @mercury84choices ​@theinvisibledreamergirl @stygianflood @ethansramsey

A blissful silence settled in the room as Ethan tossed his house keys onto the kitchen countertop. Flicking the switches as the lights turned on in his house. A large suburban white painted house that he and Alyssa bought a few years ago. Ethan’s eyes wandered around the living room, taking in the quiet. Alyssa wasn’t home yet which gave Ethan the time to head to his study. Clambering up the stairs and going to the first door on his left, a spacious room with forest green walls. A metal case of shelves with wooden baskets filled with stationary, was diagonally placed in the corner to the door. Directly opposite the door was a mahogany table with a cushioned wheeled office chair.

To the left of the door, was a red and green small plastic table and bench. Crayons and pencils were scattered on the table and floor, there were sheets of coloured papers with indiscernible scribbles. The furrow in Ethan’s eyebrows relaxed as he slipped off his black cashmere jacket and hung it on a hook to the left of him. Crouching by the small kids table and glanced at the drawings, noting the curved shapes to be attempts at writing. Writing what exactly? He wasn’t too sure. 

Nathan and Savannah were the smartest kids he knew. Why wouldn’t they be though, since their parents were the acclaimed doctors of Bloom Edenbrook’s diagnostics team. Ethan put their drawings in a woven basket which had a label of ‘kids’, he held onto all the crayons and pencils and placed them in their respective labelled pots. Placing the pots in their woven basket and placing their basket on top of the shelf unit. Alyssa probably didn’t have time to tidy up their mess because they were spending the afternoon and evening with Alyssa’s friends.

Maybe now was a good time to get started on his project as he pulled out a basket and took out a few sheets of thick matte paper and an envelope. Bringing them over to his desk and seating himself, opening a drawer in his desk. He took out a few ink pens and placed the pens next to his paper, his eyes darted to the wooden picture frame of Alyssa and their three kids: Allison, Nathan and Savannah. He still couldn’t believe that he was theirs, and they were his. It was only yesterday, when he and Alyssa were in the reception, treating for a thoracotomy and now they had a house and kids.

Ethan knew what he had to do as soon as he brought his pen to the paper, the words flew right through him as he wrote. The memories of his kids flooding his brain with a warm familiar glow.

~~~~~~

“Out of the way!”

Ethan rushed down the stairs, shoving past nurses and doctors before slamming the corridor door open to the maternity ward. Sienna was hot on his heels as he growled and grimaced at people, his eyes went to the pager as a message from Naveen popped up. ‘4cm dilated’. Ethan was close as he weaved through a never ending maze of Edenbrook’s corridors. In the distance he spotted Naveen, his dad Alan, and his daughter Allison were looking into the window of one of the maternity rooms.

“Ethan! There you are!”

“Daddy!”

His crinkled grumpy face relaxed at the sight of Allison. Five years old with a knack for mischief and a carbon copy of himself. She had his eyes and ears but Alyssa’s nose, lips and hair. Alan was taking care of Allison while Ethan and his wife were working, however, Alyssa’s contraction pains strengthened and her constant lavatory needs indicated that she needed to be checked in. Naveen came up to stand beside Ethan; who took Allison into his arms.

“Naveen, how is she?”

“Well the contractions are hurting and I have a feeling the babies are coming now. Dr. Delarosa is in there with her. Are you ready Ethan?”

Ethan gave a nod as he turned to Allison, a calm gentle smile reserved for her.

“Time to get your new siblings. You okay to wait here with Uncle Naveen and Grandpa?”

“Yeah! Uncle Naveen is buying me chocolate!”

Ethan quirked a brow at his mentor, who in return stuck with a confident grin before Ethan placed Allison down. Naveen clasped his hand around her tiny hand and led her to the staff break room, whilst listening to her ramblings about her new siblings. Ethan took a deep breath as Alan stepped up to rest his hand on his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you, son.”

Ethan smiled and was about to step into the room, when something held him still. His buried nerves leaked through his wall as memories of Dolores seeped to his front. Alyssa was pregnant with twins, that alone carried several complications in terms of the positioning of the babies, possible post partum haemorrhage. On top of that she was one week late, twins born post due date carry risks to the mother and the babies.

A flash of baby Ethan in the NICU drained the warmth from his face and he felt like he was drowning. He couldn’t breathe as he pressed a hand against the door ledge, bowing his head as Alan stood beside him. Alan could tell Ethan was panicking. His shoulders shook as Alan gently probed.

“Ethan?”

“What if something happens?”

“Boston’s famous doctor is worried about a twin birth? Ethan, you’ve done this before. You know what to do.”

“It’s different. Alyssa is in there. She’s the patient. What if I can’t make the right decision?”

“Ethan Jonah Ramsey. You are a diagnostician. A famous one at that. You look at the possibilities before you make your decision. You have it in you son. Plus she’s a fighter. She won’t back down. But she needs you. Be brave and if you can’t be brave, be brave for her. She needs your support.”

His father’s words felt like a warm wash of life as he inhaled the air, exhaling his anxieties and giving a steady nod. Ethan smiled at his father before pushing open the door to step into the room, stepping into action to help make Alyssa’s labour as easy as possible.

~~~~~~

“Daddy! When is Twilight Sparkle coming?”

“In a bit. If you finish your lunch, then she’ll come.”

“Daddy! Will she bring a lot of presents for us?”

“An average amount, Nathan.”

Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose as he watched over the several little kids munching on their mini pizza slices and tater tots. It was the twins’ birthday today and the two of them invited their whole class to celebrate, the sun was shining as the kids sat on picnic blankets. The Ramseys’ had a spacious garden which could hold for nearly twenty five kids and several adults. Bryce, Jackie and Elijah were keeping an eye on the kids as Ethan slipped away to the kitchen where Alyssa was sat on a breakfast stool with her foot in Sienna’s lap. Aurora was beside them as she carefully tapped a finger against the swollen skin near her ankle. Jenner paced on his paws with nervous energy as he whined at his mom, Alyssa.

“Alyssa has sprained her ankle … Ethan.”

The friends still had a difficult time addressing Ethan by his first name but he paid no heed to it as Alyssa tried to come off the stool, trying to brush off the pain.

“It’s nothing, I’m sure I’ll be fine as long as I don’t walk on it.”

Ethan sighed rather exasperatedly as he folded his arms at his wife. That motion alone made Alyssa meekly smile and remain in her seat. Aurora handed her a cool pack for Alyssa to use for her sprain. She knew that she needed to rest her ankle but the twins would be so upset.

“Fine. But how are we going to solve the entertainment issue?”

At that moment the front door opened and closed as Alan strode in with a confident excited gait. He had a white cardboard box in his hands as he hummed and placed the box on the table, unveiling it to reveal a My Little Pony cake with ‘Happy 4th Birthday! Nathan and Savannah’. Alan’s brows sagged at the sight of his daughter-in-law.

“What happened?”

“I … fell.”

Ethan resorted to pinching the bridge of his nose before explaining the story. The children were showing off dance moves and there was a little girl who was showing off her gymnastics ability. Alyssa thought she could show off her talent by demonstrating a cartwheel, unfortunately her cartwheel was aimed the wrong way and Alyssa landed awkwardly in a bush with her legs askew. Alan smiled at Alyssa as he realised that there was an issue of entertainment since Alyssa was planning to dress up as the kids’ favourite character, Twilight Sparkle.

“I guess that means Alyssa can’t be Twilight Sparkle.”

Sienna gave a nod and spoke up.

“Aurora, Jackie and I would do it but I don’t think there’s enough time for any of us to learn everything about My Little Pony. The kids are gonna see right through us.”

“It’s a conundrum.”

Everyone took a moment to think before Alan’s eyes twinkled with an idea.

“I have an idea. Sienna, start watching some My Little Pony, I’ll stall the kids. ‘Lyssa, where did you keep your guitar?”

Alyssa’s eyes twinkled as she informed Alan of the guitar, to which Aurora ran up to search for it. It seemed everyone knew what to do, everyone except for Ethan, who placed his hands on his hips, turning to his father.

“Would you mind clueing me into your plan?”

“A little singing will have the kids distracted while Aurora, Alyssa and Sienna get ready. The kids will love it!”

At that moment, Bryce popped his head through the glass garden doors, there’s a slight line of sweat near the crown of his neck as he nervously glances back.

“The kids are going rabid if Twilight Sparkle doesn’t come in the next five minutes.”

Aurora rushed back down and handed Alan a brown varnished acoustic guitar, a gift from Alyssa’s patient Remy. Alan hung the strap over his shoulder and strutted outside to where all the kids shrieked and yelled.

“Okay kids! Who’s gonna sing the My Little Pony theme song?”

Ethan went out and noticed all the kids sitting at their picnic blankets, bopping and singing while Alan strummed the tune of the My Little Pony theme song. Ethan and Rafael took the time to begin cleaning up the rubbish whilst Bryce, Elijah and Jackie kept an eye out for Sienna, Aurora and Alyssa. All the kids and the twins were enraptured, even Jenner was happily panting to the music. Alan was going through a list of songs going from the My Little Pony Theme Song, to the lime and coconut song and to  the rhinestone cowboy.Not long after, Alan got a thumbs up from Bryce and Jackie to which Alan smiled and announced.

“Now children! There is someone who’d like to wish two special children a Happy Birthday!”

Nathan and Savannah jumped up with excited shrieks as Alan strummed the music of the theme song and out came Twilight Sparkle. It was Sienna donning a purple sparkly dress, wings protruding from the back and a dark wig flowing off her shoulders. Her unicorn headband was fixed into the wig and her purple make-up shone in the sun as Sienna skipped towards the kids, tossing bounds of glitter.

Aurora and Jackie were helping Alyssa settle on a deck chair as the twins hugged and cried at the fact that Twilight Sparkle had come to their party. Ethan and Alyssa sent a thankful smile as Alan returned their smile, everyone’s faces warming at the twin’s excitement.

~~~~~~

Ethan used the back of his hand to wipe off the sweat on his brow as he pushed the front door of his apartment open. Baby Allison happily chewed on her yellow teether while bouncing in the baby sling, strapped across Ethan’s chest. Alyssa was working at the hospital after spending four months at home and it was Ethan’s turn to stay home with Allison. He was glad he opted for a loose linen shirt and khaki trousers as the Boston heat was slowly racking up. Ethan had gone out to buy some ingredients for their dinner: stir fried tofu and broccoli. 

Alyssa would need some good comfort food after going back to work and he knew that Chinese would delight her. He unclipped one arm strap, pressing a palm to hold up Allison before unclipping the other to carry his daughter to her high chair in the kitchen. Allison was teething so he handed her a teething ring to help Allison improve motor skills. His daughter smiled and babbled at the sight of her dad as Ethan pressed a kiss onto his daughter’s forehead.

Allison was a daddy’s girl since she would whine and cry with Alyssa, but when it came to Ethan, Allison babbled and laughed. Alyssa was sure that she would say ‘Dada’. Ethan grinned as Jenner padded into the kitchen, bringing himself up to stand on his hind legs beside Allison. The dog was protective and loving to Allison as she tried to swat at Jenner’s nose.

“Jenner, keep an eye on her.”

Jenner barked as Ethan began taking out utensils and the shopping to get started. Draining the water from the tofu and breaking up the broccoli into florets. Every so often, his eyes would wander to his little girl on the high chair. Ethan still couldn’t believe the fact that he was a father. A living breathing child was in his care, one he made with the woman he loved as his eyes glistened at the memories of her birth. Despite expecting for children to not be in the cards for him, life had a way of telling him that it was always the case.

As Ethan stared longingly at his daughter, Jenner could smell something faintly burning; turning his head to hear a loud crackle and pop. Jenner barked furiously which had Ethan snap out and realise the onions and garlic had burnt in the wok, the broccoli was charred beyond recognition as Ethan turned off the induction hob. The loud barks caused Allison to startle and little beads of tears streamed down her face.

His heart lurched as he immediately stalked to his daughter to take her in his arms and get her to settle down. It was the first time in a long time that Ethan burnt dinner as he exhaled at the time on his wrist watch. Alyssa would be home in an hour and it was too late to restart. He didn’t have enough ingredients and he couldn’t whip up something else in time for Alyssa to sink her teeth into.

At that moment his phone rang as Ethan reached into his pocket to rest the phone between his ear and shoulder, while bouncing a teary Allison in his lap.

“Ethan Ramsey.”

“Ethan.” The corner of Ethan’s lips curled upwards at the recognition of his father’s voice. “I’m just about ten minutes away from your home. Alyssa invited me to have dinner, do you need anything?”

Ethan glanced at the mess behind him, a low exhale left his lips.

“Can you please pick up some Chinese on your way here?”

It wasn’t long when Alan arrived with several bags of Chinese take out from Xing-Fu’s Restaurant. Ethan took the bags from Alan and set up the dining table while Alan took the time to talk and play with his granddaughter, Jenner wagged his tail rapidly as he watched Alan and Allison. Not long after the kitchen was clear and the dinner table was set, Alyssa had entered the apartment with a smile on her face.

She took a moment to freshen up before joining the Ramseys at the dinner table. Her eyes sparkled at the array of side dishes as she pecked Ethan’s cheek before digging rather ravenously into the food. All the tension from the day melted under the spicy heat of duck and the softness of lotus buns. Ethan and Alan share a knowing smile as they too get stuck into their meal, Allison smiles and babbles in her high chair next to Alyssa. Glad to have her mother with her.

~~~~~~

The memories faded as Ethan lifted his pen from the letter, a soft nostalgic smile brushed on his face as he pushed the frame of his glasses up the bridge of his nose. A faint sound of the front door opened as excited chirps and barking fluttered into his study. The kids, Jenner and Alyssa were home as Ethan smiles at the incoming thunder steps, spinning his office chair to the direction of the door. The twins come tumbling in and launch themselves into Ethan’s arms, not giving a chance for Ethan to pay attention to their chatter. Jenner is sitting at the entrance of the door, while Allison stands behind him with her hand scratching the top of his fur. 

“Nathan, Savannah! I cannot understand your rambling.”

“Yeah, they had a lot of pastries. Aunt Sienna made a lot of cakes and biscuits.”

Ethan shook his head with a teasing grin at the twins. The two of them hid their mouths as Nathan denied.

“No we didn’t. Ally did!”

“Liar, I saw you two take two slices of the chocolate fudge cake.”

“No! You’re dreaming Ally.”

Ethan raised an eyebrow at his troublesome twins but pressed long kisses into their hair. Savannah leaned over his shoulder and noticed the pen and paper before pressing her two palms on Ethan’s face, forcing him to look directly at her as she asked.

“Are you drawing without us?”

Ethan shook his head as he explained.

“I’m making a gift for grandpa.”

“Are you gonna give it to him tomorrow?”

Before he could answer, Alyssa appeared at the door with her hands on her hips, dressed in a green cotton dress and brown knee high boots. Her mom voice was coming through as she moved her eyes between the troublesome twins.

“Nathan and Savannah. Time for bed. We’ve got to wake up early tomorrow if you want to spend the whole day with Grandpa.”

“Do we have to?”

Ethan stood up and held on to the twins as he smartly urged.

“Come on if you get dressed for bed, you can stay up late tomorrow.”

The twins gasped as they scrambled off Ethan’s arms and rushed to their bedroom to get into their pyjamas. A small smile curled up on Alyssa’s lips as she turned to the eldest Ramsey child.

“You too, Ally!”

“But Mom!”

“Come on.”

Ethan steps up to the doorway and sweetly kisses his wife as she cupped his cheek.

“You coming?”

“Just finishing up.”

Alyssa gave a nod and led her daughter away to her bedroom, Jenner obediently bounding behind them. Ethan returned to his desk to read over the last words he wrote.

Look at me now. I’m a dad.

Thank you for making me the man I am today.

Love,

Dr. Ethan J. Ramsey

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