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laurzzz · 1 month

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Robo-Boyfriends AU (My Sona Version) - Effort

Woe word-less comic be upon ye! I think it's very fitting with my sona being mouthless LMAO. I haven't worked on RBAU in a short while so take this thingy before I continue to work on MO again :thumbsup::thumbsup:

Explanation/vent under the cut (it's VERY long, so know you've been warned)

I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending it doesn't affect me at all. I'm tired of not wanting to express genuine frustration on my blog. I've been trying my best to keep my blog and every other platform I have as a place of escape for myself. I want it to only be filled with mostly good and optimistic things. I already get enough crap and more in my private life, I don't want to see reminders of them in places where I want to escape. Which is why I've been pretending to not see the numbers, that I don't feel under appreciated, that I don't vent as much when I want to or when I do I'm quick to delete them.

I know that many artists online go through this and have expressed their frustration on this experience-- where they put in so much effort and time on their works and they barely get any feedback or interactions or when they do get feedback it's often on the works they don't even put that much effort in. I love RBAU and Cloud Nine.. they're my AUs that basically gained the most traction here but the time and effort I gave to making those comics and random pieces of gradient-themed drawings don't even compare to the rendered pieces or the animated works I've made for them.

As much as I appreciate the reblogs and comments on the posts that reached so many people, I often wonder why it's always the works that I didn't put my all into. It makes me feel discouraged... not in continuing to draw or make creative work, but to actually put in more effort. But if I'd do that--stop putting in more effort-- then I would only make myself even more miserable as I don't like stagnation. I hate stagnation. I hate getting bored of the things that mean so much to me. Sharing my art and improving on it means too much to me.

But it's weird because I tend to observe the interactions with other blogs. They look to put in so much effort and make such beautiful rendered pieces that I adore and yet they are appreciated as deserved. While there are artists who make "shitposts" (their words) who also gain so much traction and appreciation. This observation makes the voices in my brain start correlating the quality of my work to the interactions. If I'm being completely transparent, I get these thoughts a lot. But I also don't believe them. I don't want to believe them.

Before anyone starts saying "ohhh you shouldn't attach your appreciation of your work from external factors" etc etc-- I KNOW. I am FULLY aware. I'm completely aware and have rationalized this situation over and over. That this is just how the internet goes. That these are factors I don't have control over. That my work is gold and it doesn't have to be determined as such by numbers. That someday the people who appreciate my works will find me. I. Know.

Still, knowing these things doesn't make the feelings disappear. It's like I want to be mad, and cry at the same time but also understand that I just can't really do anything about this but let it be. It's as if the more I care about a project, the less likely people will. I don't want to pretend like I don't care about a project just for it to be appreciated. But I also don't want to feel as if I'm not getting as much appreciation or attention that I think my work deserves.

I've been experimenting with my works and how I post them here on Tumblr and on YT since last year. The ones that are shitposts are seriously what gets more attention AHAHAHA I am laughing with frustration. Look, I love making memes and poking fun with characters as much as the next viewer and artist but by god. I can't just keep churning out funny haha low substance stuff in exchange for interactions. That's not the kind of artist that I am. I like making things that has lore; that has depth to them. Like how I tend to make lore heavy AUs right after getting my silly, lighthearted works blow up just to remind myself that the relationship I have with my works will not grow if I keep chasing after the interactions, the numbers by prioritizing quantity over quality.

Or maybe people just don't like my ideas? I guess that's a possibility too. Maybe my ideas just don't resonate with people enough. It's not "consumable" enough. Or maybe they don't like my art/writing/animation style. Yet more factors that's out of my control. But I also get told that people like my art, my writings, my animations. And they mean so, so much to me. But it just doesn't add up sometimes, y'know? If people like my work and stick around because they like my art no matter the fandom then why don't I see it? Thoughts like these make me feel so ungrateful actually.

I'm sure there are many people who look up to me as an artist and think how "popular" I am. I've been told this so many times. And yet, I don't feel either of those as strongly. Hell, even as I type this long vent out, I feel like people will not even care. Or worse. Perhaps they may think I'm focusing on the wrong things or think I'm being insecure and jealous of other people's well-deserved appreciation from others.

For the record, I am not. I think every single (actual, not AI) artists put in so much effort and love to their own works most of the time and if they get appreciation for it then I'm sure as hell that they've been seeking for it too and now that they're getting it and it's there then they should bask in it and rejoice. They really should.

Sigh. This is getting far too long. I'll stop here. I hope my words and my thoughts came out clearly. I'm writing this out late at night. Don't worry, I'll still be putting in the effort I've been putting in lately. I'm still going to work on MO, and give my best to make Assassin Eclipse's design to be as on par with Assassins Sun and Moon. I'm still going to write and continue the lore in the fic. I'm still going to animate the lore-heavy Welcome Home animation I've been working on slowly day by day. I just wanted to let this all out. Venting it to my friends just seem to not be enough. I gotta express it where people can see it. I think this is just my last straw too. I've been holding out for so long and 2024 really hasn't been that kind to me lately that I just can't anymore.

Anyway, the next post will be much lighter, I promise.

#sorry i focused too much on my dca related works but this also applies to all the other fandom stuff ive created on here and on YT #oh also #thank you and shout out to xit #i was having doubts on posting this before i sleep tonight #but her recent answered ask unintentionally gave me courage #hey xit! if you see this i think youre cool #robo-boyfriends au #but with my sona instead of y/n #dca fandom #fnaf sun #fnaf sundrop #fnaf daycare attendant #laursdraws #cw vent

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weirdkpopgirl · 5 months

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Friends Who Kiss | Chenle Fic #1

Title: Friends Who Kiss

Genre: Best friends to lovers, high school/college au

Warnings: mentions of the reader being insecure and having a mental breakdown at some point. a little suggestive, but not really

Word Count: ~ 5.6k

Author's Note: Okay to be very honest, I think that this story is kinda stupid and cliché. But it was an idea that I still wanted to try writing. And this is my first full-length fic for Chenle too, so I'm happy to post something for him. So to those who like cheesy romance stories, I hope you enjoy this. Thank you for reading ^ ^

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Since the start of high school, Zhong Chenle has been a consistent part of your life. He arrived as a transfer student from Shanghai, while you were the reserved kid who often used studying as an excuse to avoid social interaction. So rather than you reaching out to him first, it was he who practically claimed you as his best friend. Your personalities were a striking contrast, but it proved to be the perfect balance. It didn't take long for the two of you to become inseparable.

However, your friendship took a turn in eleventh grade. You guys had gone to your house after school to do homework. Except it was mostly you working on assignments, while Chenle was animatedly ranting about some mobile game Jisung was terrible at playing.

“It’s unbelievable! Every time I check his character gets killed,” Chenle laughed, and you responded with a soft hum of acknowledgment.

The boy glanced up from his phone to find you engrossed in your textbooks. While your attention was focused on writing an essay, you were also trying to keep your mind from drifting to the unsettling conversation you had during lunch that day. Typically, you and Chenle sat together with his friends. But Jisung needed the boy’s help stalking his crush, so you found yourself sitting with some of the girls in your class.

Sensing the inner conflict brewing in your mind, Chenle rose from the bed and leaned over your shoulder.

“You've been at this since we got here. How is your brain not fried?” he asked, blunt as usual.

You shot the boy with an unappreciative glare. “It is fried. But our essay is due on Monday, and I still have to help you with yours.”

Chenle sighed, well aware of your enduring determination. Ever since he met you, he couldn’t understand why you stressed so much over assignments, especially when you always completed them before the due date. Then you somehow managed to go out of your way to ensure he was doing the same.

“You’re more than halfway finished, and I’ll get to mine on my own time,” He reassured, “Why don’t you take a break for now?”

Before you could protest, Chenle swiftly pulled you out of your chair and guided you to sit on the bed with him. Worry clouded his gaze. “Something’s troubling you, isn’t it?”

Your teeth sank into your lower lip, hating how Chenle knew you so well. He didn’t have a problem sharing what was on his mind, while you were the exact opposite. Yet, even a single look at you was enough for him to detect something was off.

“The girls at lunch were going on about their dating experiences and stuff,” you began to explain, your tone tinged with irritation at the memory. “They were all so surprised when I said I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”

You pushed yourself to meet Chenle's gaze, half dreading that he might burst into laughter. Instead, his expression held a hint of amusement, and that alone made you regret bringing up the topic.

Before he could respond, you hurriedly attempted to backtrack on your words. “It's stupid, I know—”

“It’s not stupid if it’s making you upset,” Chenle said firmly.

Leaning back in your seat, you let out an exasperated sigh. “I just can’t get their judgmental looks out of my head. All because I don’t have much experience with dating?”

Chenle's expression softened as he confessed, "There's nothing wrong with that, and there’s a lot of people like you. I haven't had my first kiss either."

“Really?!” You stared at him in disbelief. “Didn't you date Ko Mi-so though?”

Chenle scoffed, appearing slightly offended. “Okay, that happened such a long time ago. And we didn't even last a month, so we never kissed.”

Now that you thought about it, he was right about their relationship ending almost as quickly as it began. You recalled the time back in tenth grade when Chenle was quite smug about dating Mi-so, who happened to be the prettiest girl in class. Frankly, you were somewhat relieved when they broke up, given that she didn't particularly like you. Chenle hasn’t dated anyone since.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” your voice trailed off.

The boy stayed silent for a moment before an idea dawned on him. “You know what? Why don’t we have our first kiss now?”

Your cheeks felt like they were competing for a world record in how quickly they heated up at Chenle's proposal. He couldn't possibly be serious.

“Did I hear you right?” you stammered, thoroughly taken aback by the suggestion.

Chenle nodded confidently, “I mean, we're best friends, so it's not that weird. And it's better than kissing someone we don't know as well or not have a connection with.”

You could kind of see his point. Having Chenle as your first kiss did seem much safer than kissing some random guy. Besides, it wasn’t like either of you had any underlying feelings for each other. This would solely be for practice.

“Alright,” you reluctantly agreed, “But you have to promise not to make fun of me if I turn out to be a bad kisser."

Chenle chuckled and nodded. He inched closer to you on the bed, leaving little space between the two of you. Although he saw you every day, having your face this near made a faint blush tinge his cheeks.

He started to lean in more before pausing. "Um, maybe you should close your eyes."

"Oh—right," you mumbled awkwardly, then took a deep breath before allowing your eyelids to shut.

He had to suppress a chuckle, finding you kinda cute in that moment. Before you had a chance to second-guess yourself, Chenle pressed his lips against yours in a tender kiss. Shortly after, he drew back, searching for your reaction.

“So, how was that?” He asked, voice laced with teasing.

You stared at him incredulously for a moment before realizing he was waiting for you to answer. “I suppose it was okay,” you mumbled.

Chenle tilted his head with an amused grin. “Just okay?”

“Yeah, I guess I didn't feel much because we're not really into each other like that,” you admitted with a nonchalant shrug.

Okay, you might have partially lied about not feeling much during the kiss. Truth be told, there was this strange, fluttery sensation in your chest when your best friend's lips grazed yours. But perhaps all first kisses were like that, and you were simply overthinking it.

The boy beside you let out a hearty laugh. “Well at least we got that over with.”

You had to muster all your self-control not to blush when he followed up with, “And you're not a bad kisser, by the way.”

Believing that the experiment was over, the two of you returned to your previous tasks. Nothing changed much after that day in your bedroom, as you and Chenle remained best friends. But little did you realize that this wouldn't be the last kiss you'd be sharing with him.

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Despite your previous attempts to justify it, the second kiss you shared with Chenle happened partially because of you. As your senior year of high school unfolded, Chenle prepared for his performance at the spring festival. It was you who initially urged him to participate in the talent show. The countless times you had witnessed his piano playing and singing during your private moments together convinced you that he should share his talents with the world. Your compliments not only fueled Chenle’s ego but also prompted him to eagerly jot his name down on the sign-up sheet.

However, what you didn’t expect was to find him backstage, looking as pale as a ghost. He was supposed to go after a group of girls who were dancing to Red Velvet’s “Red Flavor.” With the intention of cheering him on in person, you spotted the dark-haired boy sitting on a chair, anxiously bouncing his legs.

“Last-minute jitters?" you asked softly.

Chenle glanced up at you and crossed his arms in a nonchalant manner. “What, me? I'm fine,” he replied, though his tone lacked conviction.

Just as Chenle knew you like the back of his hand, you were among the few who could read him. While he was partially correct about never being nervous, it didn't take an idiot to perceive that he was in that moment. It was evident he was trying to play it off to uphold his confident image.

One aspect that troubled you about Chenle was his constant facade of cheerfulness and carefree demeanor. No one could genuinely be happy all the time, and he was the kind of person who concealed his negative feelings when around others.

After deliberating on how to address the situation, you gently rested your hand on his shoulder, bringing yourself to eye level with him.

“Hey, you’re going to be amazing out there,” you reassured him. “I’ve seen how many hours you put into practicing that song. You have nothing to worry about.”

Chenle let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, you're right.”

The smile he bestowed upon you didn't quite convince you. Biting your lip in hesitation, you glanced around to ensure no one else was nearby. Once you were sure that you were alone, you leaned down and gently planted a kiss on the boy’s forehead. Chenle’s eyes widened in surprise at your actions.

“What was that for?”

Blushing, you took a step back and stammered, “Just for good luck, you know. I—I’ll be right there in the crowd, watching you. So if you feel nervous on stage, just look at me.”

A more reassured smile spread across Chenle’s lips and before he stood up to swiftly peck you on the lips, leaving you more stunned than he was a few seconds ago.

“There, I definitely feel more ready now,” he declared with a teasing glint. And the smug Chenle you were familiar with had returned.

As Chenle’s playfulness lingered in the air, the sound of the audience clapping erupted for the girls, putting an end to your “moment.” With a knowing look, you both parted ways, allowing Chenle to step into the spotlight for his performance.

As he took the stage, you found a spot in the crowd, eyes fixed on him with awe. The rhythm of the applause filled the air, drowning out any lingering thoughts. In that moment, the stage became his world, and you couldn't help but be swept away by the magic of his talent. The earlier exchange faded into the background as you watched Chenle shine, each note and melody weaving a captivating spell that left you in admiration.

Neither of you mentioned the kiss after that day. The interaction remained more platonic than anything, a gesture that was only meant to show your support for him. But Chenle still liked to think he killed the stage because of it.

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Chenle was undeniably responsible for the next time the two of you kissed. However, this particular incident didn't unfold until the first semester of your freshman year in college. The joy of discovering you both had been accepted into the same university was palpable, though Chenle appeared to be more exuberant about the news. In contrast, you felt a sense of relief, grateful that you wouldn't be venturing into the world of college alone.

In one of your classes, a sunbae began to show interest in you. Despite your attempts to politely reject him, it became apparent that he wasn't willing to accept no for an answer.

One day after class, he cornered you in the hallway, insisting that you go out with him. As you tried to maintain your composure, he grabbed you by the wrist when you tried to walk away. The harsh move triggered internal panic within you.

You could sense the danger in his tone as his head tilted cockily. “Come on, (Y/n), don’t be so difficult. I know you’re just playing hard to get.”

“I—I’m sorry but I just don’t feel the same as you, Sunbae,” you stuttered, trying to be assertive. “Please let go.”

Refusing to relent, the sunbae was on the verge of pulling you in closer when another hand intervened, forcefully ripping you out of his grasp. Your head turned in astonishment to see Chenle casting a disgusted look at the guy in front of you. The flames in Chenle’s eyes made you realize that you had never seen him so livid before.

“She said to let go of her. What part of that do you not understand?” Chenle’s voice cut through the tension.

The sunbae scoffed and crossed his arms in defense, “Yah, who are you to involve yourself in someone else’s matters? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

You watched as the corner of Chenle’s lips turned into a smirk as he snaked an arm around your waist in a protective gesture.

“That’s right. So who are you to go after another man’s girlfriend?” he retorted confidently. Your eyes widened, almost surprised as the jerk in front of you.

Shaking his head in a mix of disbelief and embarrassment, the sunbae pointed a finger at you. “This is a joke, right? You just asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend to mess with me!”

Before you could respond, Chenle took matters into his own hands. His free hand briskly moved to the back of your neck, drawing you in for a passionate kiss. In a typical situation, your best friend's impulsive actions might have freaked you out immediately. However, the way his fingers delicately pressed against your back reassured you that he was doing this for your sake, Closing your eyes, you kissed back and tried to reciprocate with the same passion Chenle was pouring.

Moments later, Chenle pulled away and turned to the sunbae, wearing a satisfied grin on his face. “Do you believe her now? Not that she has to prove anything to you.”

The older male muttered begrudgingly under his breath, “Whatever, not worth my time.”

With a scowl, he stormed off, leaving behind a palpable sense of relief in the wake of his departure. Once he was gone, you removed yourself from Chenle's hold and shot him a look of confusion.

“You know you didn’t have to do that right?”

Chenle chuckled, “Well, someone had to put an end to his nonsense. Besides, I've always wanted to play the protective boyfriend card.”

“Protective boyfriend? You almost gave me a heart attack!” You smacked him on the shoulder.

Chenle’s smirk remained, but he adopted a more concerned tone. “But seriously, (Y/n), why didn’t you tell me he was bothering you earlier?”

“I thought I could handle things on my own.” You shrugged weakly, lowering your head in guilt.

Chenle sighed, recognizing your aversion to depending on others for your problems. Throughout the time he’d known you, he'd witnessed your willingness to go to great lengths to help those you cared about. However, when it came to your own struggles, you seemed to prefer suffering in silence.

“We’re best friends for a reason,” he reminded you, “Looking after each other is 50/50, you know?”

You offered him a small smile, “I guess you’re right. Thanks for saving me today.”

“Well, you can thank me by buying food tonight,” Chenle said, the playful glint returning to his eyes. “It’s your turn anyway.”

Rolling your eyes, you let him lead you out of the building. But Chenle’s words from earlier lingered in the back of your mind. “We’re best friends for a reason.”

The two of you were the epitome of what best friends were. And that was all the two of you would ever be, right?

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At this point, you were beginning to lose count of the number of times you’ve kissed your best friend. Despite this, your friendship maintained its familiar rhythm throughout the university. But after that hallway encounter, the awkwardness that came with kissing your best friend faded. Although it was more of Chenle seeming unfazed, and you becoming less surprised each time it happened. And indeed, there were a few more instances that caused your lips to meet.

Like the time Chenle excitedly dragged you to his dorm to watch a Golden State Warriors game, and, in the heat of the moment, he gave you a quick kiss before cheering some more. Then there was the other time when you both went out for drinks with friends, a few drunken kisses were shared.

There weren't any real feelings attached to the kisses you and Chenle shared. At least, that was what you repeatedly told yourself. However, as you were halfway through your first year of university, you finally started to question the true nature of your friendship with Zhong Chenle.

Those thoughts began to sink in just before your first finals in college. Isolated in your dorm room, you immersed yourself in studying for a math exam scheduled in three days. Calls and texts from friends went largely ignored as you turned off your phone in an attempt to focus. However, Chenle wasn't about to let that slide.

One night, he let himself into your dorm, carrying a bag of your favorite takeout—knowing well that you tended to skip meals when stressed. You could see the determination in his face, ready to scold you. But the expression quickly transitioned to one of concern when he caught you on the verge of a breakdown.

You sat at your desk surrounded by textbooks and notebooks filled with scribbled equations. The sight of your trembling body and slightly tousled hair, a result of pulling on it too hard, tugged at Chenle’s heart. He was well aware of how your anxiety affected you at times. But he had never witnessed it manifest quite like this.

Instantly, the bag was placed on the floor, and he was at your side. “(Y/n), what's wrong?"

“I—I'm going to fail my calc final,” you swallowed, your fingers curling into fists. Your shoulders slumped, and the weight of despair was evident in the way you hunched over the desk.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, attempting to calm you down. “You still have a few weeks before finals, (Y/n). And you’re not going to fail.”

“Yes, I am!” you cut him off, your voice strained. Tears welled up in your eyes, and your hands clenched even tighter. “I’ve been studying for days, and my dumb brain still doesn't understand anything. Do you know how stupid I feel?”

“Being bad at math doesn’t make you stupid, (Y/n),” Chenle said, trying to inject a bit of lightheartedness into the situation. However, his comment didn’t seem to offer you any comfort.

You shook your head miserably in response. “Stop trying to be nice. I'm going to fail, and then I’ll end up letting down my parents and everyone else.”

Chenle’s heart ached at the defeat in your voice. Setting his jokes aside, he recognized that words weren’t what you needed at the moment. Instead, he enveloped you in a warm embrace. You hesitated only briefly before surrendering to his comforting hold, attempting to fight back tears.

“Just let it out,” he whispered.

Those simple words acted as an emotional release trigger, and Chenle found himself gently rubbing your back as you quietly cried into his shoulder. A sense of mixed emotions flooded him as he held you in that moment. A part of him felt a twinge of relief, grateful that you let him be there for you. You often kept your emotions bottled up, making it a challenge for him to discern how you truly felt at times.

However, there was a pang of sadness accompanying that satisfaction. He knew you didn't just cry in front of anyone, and realizing that you had reached this breaking point signaled the depth of your struggle.

After a while, Chenle gently pulled back, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You need a break, (Y/n). Let’s step away from the desk for a bit.”

"No, I really should—" you began to protest, but Chenle cut you off.

"You really should eat the food I brought you before it gets cold," he insisted, picking up the bag again.

He led you to sit on the carpet of your cramped dorm room, creating a makeshift dining space for the two of you. As you both shared a meal, Chenle continued to provide a comforting presence, occasionally cracking a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

As the night wore on, the exhaustion in your eyes became more prominent. Even so, you knew you should go back to studying. But Chenle seemed to disagree.

“Maybe you should just rest for the night. I promise to help you with math in the morning,” he suggested. However, upon seeing the unconvinced look you gave him, he backtracked on his words. “Okay, I'll have Renjun help you.”

Too tired to argue, you gave in, and that's how you found yourself lying in bed with your best friend. Back in high school, you used to have sleepovers at his house on the weekends. At night, the two of you would be lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and talking about anything. However, having him beside you at that moment felt strange.

You saw a sincere tenderness reflected in those large eyes of his. A part of you wondered if Chenle often gazed at you with such fondness and you simply hadn’t noticed before. Either way, the way he was looking at you made you feel even stranger. And the short silence that had settled between the two of you wasn’t helping.

Uncertain of how much longer you could endure the intensity, you broke eye contact with him and murmured, “Thank you for always being there for me, even when I try to push you away”

Chenle chuckled, adjusting his position to prop himself up on his elbow. “Well, of course, because how could you live without me?”

His ability to joke at a time like this struck you as unfathomable. Instead of the usual eye roll or pushing off the bed, a serious expression remained etched on your face.

“You're right, I don't think I can live without you,” you said, your voice laced with drowsiness. “Because you’re one of the few people who truly care about me.”

The amusement in his eyes danced away, as he felt the gravity of your words. Something about seeing this vulnerable side of you was so beautiful in his eyes. Before he could fully process his own thoughts, Chenle found himself leaning in to close the space between you with his lips meeting your own.

Uncertain whether it was the leftover stress from your meltdown or the sleep deprivation that prompted you to kiss back without much thought. You could recall all the times you’ve kissed Chenle throughout the years. But this one would always stand out to you.

This kiss lasted a lot longer than your previous ones. But it wasn’t just the way he tilted your chin upward for a better angle, or the feeling of his dark locks of hair slipping between your fingers. Nor was it the soft pressure of his lips moving in sync with yours. It was the indescribable emotions that made time seem to stand still, weaving an unspoken connection that surpassed words and left you yearning for more.

Aside from pulling away, both of you gasping for breath, and noticing how Chenle's lips were redder than you had ever seen them, you vaguely recalled what happened after the kiss. When you woke up the next morning, Chenle was already gone. However, he had left you a text message, mentioning that he went to check if Renjun could help tutor you in math.

But math was no longer the sole stressor in your mind. Your best friend had kissed you last night, and unlike all the other times, this one left you feeling more confused than ever.

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True to his word, Renjun offered to meet up with you that Sunday afternoon at the campus library. Within an hour of sitting down to unravel the calculus concept that eluded you, Renjun finally helped you grasp the material. Although the looming fear of failing finals had diminished, you still felt a weight on your shoulders.

“You don’t seem as relieved as I thought you’d be,” Renjun remarked lightheartedly. Even he could tell your mind was preoccupied with something else.

You smiled sheepishly, “No, I am! I seriously owe you for helping me out. I just…”

“Is it something to do with Chenle?” he asked, almost like he was a mind reader.

His unexpected question caught you off guard. “How did you know?” you stammered, feeling the heat quickly rise to your cheeks.

A knowing smile played on the boy’s lips as he leaned back in his seat. “Oh come on, (Y/n). You have that look on your face that something happened between the two of you.”

Sometimes you seriously wished Renjun wasn’t so good at reading people. Even though you weren’t as close to him as Chenle was, he’s known you long enough to notice things that others wouldn’t. For instance, when something was troubling you.

Biting your lip, you debated whether to be truthful with Renjun. Although you didn't typically share your problems with others, you recognized that confiding in someone at a time like this was necessary to maintain your sanity.

“Chenle kissed me last night,” you tossed the statement out in the air, hoping you wouldn’t regret it.

Renjun’s eyes widened at this revelation, “He did?!”

“Well you see, we’ve kissed before. But this time it felt different,” you clarified, baffling the boy across from you even more. Internally cringing, you were acutely aware of how bad this sounded.

Before he could question, you continued to elaborate. “Look, it's not as complicated as it sounds. It’s just ever since we agreed to be each other’s first kiss, Chenle and I just keep having these…accidental kisses. Whether it’s out of excitement or to get guys hitting on me to go away.”

Renjun listened quietly as you recounted all the other times you’ve kissed Chenle. When you circled back to the previous night, you felt more conflicted than ever.

“But the kiss last night left me feeling so confused,” you confessed, running a hand through your hair. “Initially, I thought he was just doing it out of comfort, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Well, have you considered the possibility that he has feelings for you?” Renjun inquired, crossing his arms. His suggestion sounded so simple, yet it felt like navigating uncharted territory in your mind.

You shook your head in denial. “N—No, I mean we’ve been best friends for five years. He can’t possibly see me that way.”

“Like that’s ever stopped friends from falling for each other,” Renjun cocked his head. “It doesn’t take a genius to know that he likes you, (Y/n).”

His point made you mentally curse. If you looked at your history with Chenle from an objective point of view, the two of you certainly didn’t act like normal best friends.

“And, it’s pretty obvious that you like him too,” Renjun added, twirling the pencil between his fingers.

His statement left you feeling exposed, as if you had been caught red-handed committing a crime. Laughing nervously, you shook your head, “Renjun, we’re just friends. I…I don’t see him that way.”

Renjun raised an eyebrow, “Friends who kiss? Did you really not feel anything in those moments?”

Your teeth sank further into your lower lip as Renjun’s question hit you. The reality of your feelings for Chenle lingered in the air, challenging the facade you had built to convince yourself otherwise. It was like trying to hold sand in your fists, slipping away no matter how tightly you clenched. The truth, however inconvenient, seemed to be unraveling before you.

“I…I did feel something,” you slowly admitted, “But I never said anything because I didn’t want our friendship to change. It just seemed easier to pretend those moments were nothing more than accidents.”

Renjun’s eyes softened with understanding. “Well maybe a little change is what you need in your friendship.”

Maybe Renjun was onto something, perhaps change was necessary. In the past, you had always held out on dating, using the excuse that you were waiting for the right person. Despite the fear of potential rejection, what if Chenle was the person you had been waiting for all along?

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Chenle’s living room bathed in the gentle glow of the TV screen, a familiar sight during your Friday movie nights since college began. It was supposed to be a time to unwind, to escape the pressures of school for a little while. However, instead of the usual peaceful and easygoing atmosphere, an unspoken tension hung in the air tonight. Beyond picking a movie and deciding who made the popcorn, you and Chenle barely talked. The weight of the unspoken words made the space feel suffocating, and you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in your chest.

Unable to endure the weighty silence any longer, you turned your head to make a lame comment about the movie. However, before you could speak, Chenle beat you to it.

“Can we talk?” His voice carried a hint of restlessness, an unusual departure from his usual tone.

Trying to maintain a casual demeanor, you lightly nodded. With your acknowledgment, Chenle exhaled deeply and sat up straighter to face you properly.

“I know how crazy this might sound,” he started, running a hand through his hair. “But I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think we can stay friends.”

His words felt like a gun being pointed at your chest, panic surged within you as you tried to process the boy’s words. Of all the ways you predicted this conversation could go, this was not one of them.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice even smaller than his.

Noticing the perplexity in your eyes, Chenle continued. “You see, I've been in love with you for—I don’t know how long. But I spent all these years burying my feelings like a fool, because I never thought you’d see me that way. Yet, every time we kiss, it becomes harder for me to ignore my feelings for you.”

Chenle glanced down at his folded hands, vulnerability seeping into those brown orbs of his. “The other night made me realize that I don’t want to just be friends who kiss anymore. I want to be something more to you.”

His words lingered in the air now that they were out in the open. Your heart raced faster than it ever has before, as your cheeks flushed with heat. Chenle’s eyes bore into yours, his expression nervous yet hopeful.

For a moment, you were left speechless. But you still had the sense to hit him on the shoulder, scolding, “Oh my gosh, you can’t start a conversation like that, Chenle. You scared me!”

The boy chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. But seriously, (Y/n), I meant what I said.”

A mix of emotions played on your face before you quietly admitted, “Honestly, I’ve wanted to be something more to you since that day we kissed in my bedroom.”

You noticed a smile of relief beginning to form on his lips, but you held up a finger before he could say anything. Now that he had taken the first step, you decided it was time for you to do the same.

“But I kept trying to convince myself that all the times we kissed were accidental or just for comfort,” you confessed, looking directly into his eyes. “And the reason I’ve been pushing away my feelings for you was because I was afraid of losing a friend who means the world to me.”

His hand rested on top of yours, the light touch sending a shiver down your spine. “You don’t have to be afraid because you’ll never lose me, (Y/n).”

The softness and sincerity in his eyes made you want to cry for some inexplicable reason. You once believed that confessing your feelings for Chenle would only lead to frustration and heartbreak. However, as you sat here with him, holding his hand, those worries seemed to vanish.

“So…what do we do now?” you asked, unsure of what was supposed to come next in these situations.

A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he grinned. “I think this is the part where we kiss. But you know, as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Just as you were processing his words, he moved closer, his breath warm against your skin, making your heart flutter. His eyes searched yours for permission.

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” you whispered.

With that, the distance between you closed, and your lips met in a tender kiss. It was a sweet surrender, a culmination of years of friendship and suppressed feelings. Although this wasn’t your first kiss with Chenle, it felt that way in a sense. For you could finally savor the tender feeling of his lips without questioning the intention behind it.

In that moment, all you focused on was the way Chenle had his hand on the small of your back, guiding you closer as he deepened the kiss. Your fingers found their way to rest on the nape of his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin.

Although the change in this dynamic had just begun, this newfound connection promised countless moments of shared laughter, whispered confessions, and the sweet warmth of shared kisses. You had a feeling that you could easily get used to this beautiful new normal. By the way Chenle smiled during the kiss, you could tell he felt the same way.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

#nct dream #kpop #nctzen #czennie #nct dream imagines #chenle imagine #chenle fic #nct dream fic #chenle x reader #zhong chenle #nct scenarios #kpop fic #nct dream x reader #chenle #chenle scenarios

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kibbits · 1 year

Text

Theatre AU I'm tentatively calling Break A Leg!

In light of the recent info on how they used to be a theatre bot, this is a "what if the switch to daycare workers REALLY didn't work out" AU

So the boys' theatre was a popular attraction for both kids and adults. But eventually, the novelty of acting animatronics wore off and their shows got less popular, so management decided to take back the theater and make it into the glamrocks' new stage.

The plan was to repurpose the boys as daycare bots, but management didn't even have them reprogrammed before chucking them in the daycare, so of COURSE it was a disaster! Both boys had never interacted with humans directly, and their only point of reference was to treat this as yet another role, they don't know how to be their own people (yet) (Moon: So I'm the Naptime Attendant??.... And I always play a villain. So evil naptime attendant. Got it! >: ) ) Thinking of Moon ending up being too in character and rough and breaking someone's leg (hence the title djdj)

So the boys got shut down and put into storage (and mayhaps forgotten) for a while

Until an unwitting and expendable intern named y/n is hired to clean out/take inventory of the storage in parts and services, finds them, and accidently reactivates them.

Specifically, Moon.

They manage to survive the encounter by being an experienced dnd/LARP nerd (jdhsdj), because they use that to rule-lawyer and improv the scene to their advantage, and survive intact!

And management is like "Oh shit, we can make money out of this!!" And so the intern is tasked with rehabilitating them both to be safe enough around humans, and especially more kid friendly, and if they succeed, the boys will take over comedybot's theatre and do kids' shows, with them as their handler. Y/N only has until the end of their internship to accomplish this though, with a job and the boys' lives on the line!

So that's the mise en scène cjdnd

(yay 3am sketches)

Their main problem right now is they don't know how to interact with humans! They were always on stage, or rehearsing (alone together) in their 'lodge', so they're in character 100% of the time

For Sun, that means projecting his voice and over-acting every single movement and emotion so it can be read from afar... Which is not ideal when it's just you two and he's within arm's reach. The only quiet persona he knows are the less confident, nervous support roles

As for Moon, well, he only knows how to terrify. And it doesn't help that management gave them STAFF bots as co-stars and props, and encouraged their destruction for the thrill and realism of a scene. He does still have the whole hook and cable system! But he wasn't security: he used it to rig the lights, speakers, moving props, etc on the grid above the stage. And for special effects like flying et on stage, of course!

----

Their costume change was part of the act --Every one of their costume has a reversible outer layer, so when they switch out, the pants change colors (you don't want them to take them off on stage..) And they spin their faceplate as it transforms while they take off their jacket/cloak/whatever, turns it over, and put it back on in one transformation

They would also sing duets by stepping in and out of a spotlight and mostly just transforming their faceplate, usually taking advantage of the clothes' inner lining to display one side/color or another

Now, though, they haven't been maintained in years, and so their colors are faded since they're meant to be retouched for every role, their pupils are missing, their favorite jacket is missing, and the gears in their faceplate that spun so smoothly is gunked up with debris, grinding clunkily

#fnaf sb #fnaf sb au #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #break a leg!au #fnaf daycare attendant #theatre au #my art #sketches #kibsFnafStuff

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mazeinthemiroh · 1 year

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hey! Can you do “skz as highschool sweethearts” or just a fluffy highschool au for skz 💕

stray kids as highschool sweethearts

genre: headcanons; romance, fluff

word count: 0.8k

warnings: none

please like and reblog if you enjoy! feel free to request anything <3

bangchan

popular couple

he's super romantic and cheesy but you like it that way

treats you like royalty

doesn't care if his friends tease him for being cute with you

touchy and is fine with PDA

will mostly have his hand on your waist or around you in some way when you guys are just hanging with friends during lunchtime

there are a lot of jealous people wishing they were in your position. chan is known for being one of the most attractive guys in school so you gotta own being with him and give 'em something to be jealous about

lee know

oh gosh

he's actually extremely adorable but he doesn't realise it

he can't help but smile widely and have a little sparkle in his eyes when he's with you

you see it. his friends see it. he, of course, denies it. but it's just so cute to watch your interactions with each other

the teachers can't stand either of you if you're in close proximity

you guys are the couple that teases each other to no end

just constant bickering and poking fun at each other. it's truly relentless and, most important, extremely fun. that's how you guys flirt. hell, that's how you ended up together

changbin

everyone knows about your relationship

like i said in the high school headcanons, he's a very popular guy. and with popularity comes with exposure. a LOT of exposure

he makes sure people know you're his

which is why you can be caught wearing his iconic bomber jacket. it's so cosy and fits you so nicely. plus, it smells just like him <3

like chan, changbin is quite big on PDA. he's not all over you all the time but he tends to be touching you in some way whenever you're together

a bit possessive of you when you're around his friends we love to see it

hyunjin

you guys mostly keep your relationship on the down low

yall have the cutest interactions

just looking in his direction results in hyunjin having a complete meltdown, ears a bright red and face in his book as he tries to calm the butterflies down

he's just in love with you, what can i say? you have that effect on him

he's very sweet and gives you gentle touches every now and then

soft stuff like rubbing circles on your back when you're feeling low, or holding hands with you underneath the desk yes im crying

han

he's still super flirty when you're together

always cracking jokes

he freaking adores your laugh

and obsessed with your smile

just so smitten for you

worships the ground you walk on quite literally. his friends call him a simp and he owns it. like he even cares?? he just loves being in love

excuses himself out of a class just to see you

and most likely make-out with you by the lockers

i'm personally surprised that you guys haven't been caught yet but we move🚶

felix

super sweet

ugh it's like the most wholesome relationship in the whole school

you guys are simply adorable

he buys you gifts a LOT. he doesn't have to have any special occasion like valentines day or christmas or prom to prompt him to get you something. he will just do it. he's a giver. he loves making you happy and gift-giving comes very easily to him

people literally come to you both for relationship advice because apparently you guys have become the 'model relationship' since you've lasted the longest together

you guys have set the example, fr 💪

seungmin

always saves the seat next to him for you in class

he admires your passion for your favourite subject and loves getting you talking about it

you distract him from his work. usually he's quite a focused student, top of his class and exceeding the teacher's expectations

but he can't help but be distracted by you. he'd much rather stare at you through class than do any work, you're just so pretty

you bring out a rebellious streak he didn't know he had

now he jokes around with you during class more often. the work can wait...

jeongin

you guys have a super healthy relationship

probably the most normal pair in the class

jeongin was a little shy around you at first, but now, you have become his best friend and the person he can rely on the most

he likes wearing similar outfits or matching accessories. nothing that really stands out too much (he prefers the subtler looks) but enough for the both of you to know. matching jewellery or shoes, stuff like that

always smiles brightly when he is with you, showing off his precious dimples

even the teachers comment on how well you look together

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minecraftbookshelf · 9 months

Note

Lore? Lore? Lore for the poor?

Could you perhaps spare some marriage au lore for a poor soul?

Lore about Mezalia? Lore about Pixandria? Random culture lore?

Hello and welcome to World-Building Central! where the feral brain rabbits never stop running!

I did just post my Joel Character Design post, so if you haven't seen that yet it's here and is honestly as much about Mezalean style in general as it is about Joel in particular.

I'll ramble for a bit now and we'll see what we get XD it'll probably be more character based than general world-building, since that's where my head is at today, but we shall see!

Mezalea has two primary exports: Fish and terracotta. They also make some of the most beautiful pottery, but that is less of a significant trade resource.

Fishing in Mezalea has been the main livelihood of approximately half the population for a very long time. Fishing and sea-travel (mostly for merchant-ing reasons) are the primary focus of the coastal towns and villages, while inland it is mirrored by the terracotta quarries. This caused a brief tension when they first encountered the Ocean Empire, not because the Seafolk have an objection to eating fish, but figuring out who had rights to the waters and where Pixandrian and Mezalean territory ended and Oceanic territory began. (Was Joel basically traded for fishing rights? Well it wasn't not a factor :) )

Mezalea and Pixandria have a long history as allied nations, though that alliance has become a lot closer over the past handful of centuries due to Joel and Pix's friendship. There are some cultural similarities, both being desert nations with some seafaring tendencies, though there are plenty of differences too.

Pixandria has a somewhat interesting relationship with the other empires at large, due in large part to Pix's tendency to randomly show up in other empires, regardless of treaty or alliance status. No one in the Pixandrian government admits to this, but they are pretty sure that their Emperor sometimes forgets where they are in time and who they are currently having more tension-ridden interactions with. If this is actually the case or if it's just Pix being a troll, no one knows.

The WRA starting to call the Ocean Alliance the Cod Alliance is a source of amusement for Pix. He doesn't mind at all, Jimmy has very much been stepping up as a leader of the alliance recently (and they are all very proud of him) It's that kind of mostly fond amusement that older people get when they see younger people "reinventing the wheel" for lack of a better term. It's new to them but it's not new. A mixture of vicarious joy in the discovery of life and the world and "ah, the youth"

Pix is very fond of this generation of rulers in general. He thinks that, if the world is kind, they will all be able to accomplish great things, due in no small part to their much closer bonds to each other than their predecessors. While the Ocean Alliance has stood as a wonky little family for centuries, most of the more land-based empires were much more business-like with each other. So while politically and personally, his relationship with the Wither Rose Alliance is not the friendliest, he is very proud of them for what they have done.

One of Pix's titles is "Bringer of Storms" and is the other main reason, beside his absolute obliteration of war as a cause of death among the common folk, that he remains as Pixandria's ruler. If your priest-king can summon rain in the desert, you keep him. (This is not a standard ability of their priests or their kings and, along with the immortality, is a distinguishing feature of his.) He is usually very responsible with this power, and maintains an awareness of its impact on all surrounding ecosystems. Occasionally the urge for mischief does override good sense, but its mostly fine.

Pix is the only person outside the Ocean/Swamp and its Royal family who wields a trident, and the only one outside the Oceanic Royal Family who's trident is imbued with the level of enchantments it has. The landlocked empires consider this an odd quirk of his. The Ocean Alliance empires are more aware of the cultural significance of this and the indication of adjacency to divinity and treat him accordingly.

This is why Pix was the first person to make peaceful contact with the Ocean when they first emerged and were basically greeting everyone with murder. The ability to wield an enchanted trident guaranteed him safe passage and respect.

The Anthill and The Oasis are the two centers of Pixandria. The majority of the population actually lives in The Anthill, which, much like its name suggests, has been hollowed out into a series of tunnel-roads and cave homes. Most actual houses have at least one wall built into the outside of the mountain, but some people do choose (and it is usually a choice) to go full cave-dweller in the interior.

The Oasis is primarily a trade center and space for growing crops and tending to bees. Embassies and guest houses are also here, to host travelers and representatives from other nations without allowing them access to many of the more vulnerable citizens.

Pix developed the Oasis town himself over the course of the reign, but The Anthill was already ancient when he was born.

AU Masterpost

#ask and it shall be answered #mezalea #pixandria #smallishbeans #pixlriffs #empires smp #empires s1 #rain rambles #sleepingjasminetea #marriage of state au #mos: worldbuilding #mos: mezalea #mos: pixandria

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kazerflame · 4 months

Text

Behold! My child!

His name is Nox, because his au is named Denoxtale. [Im still working on his name. Cuz i haven't touched the au in like 2 years or so.]

Denox has no special meaning here, I took it from a napkin stand that said Dixie.

Info: [wip]

25 years old

Male

goes by he/him

Is 5"6

Has a mystery illness that weakens him. He's always a bit chilly which is why he wears his scarf and wool socks. The illness isn't contagious and cannot spread to other monsters or humans. The effects of the illness are; slow movement, tiredness, low HP, and drowsiness.

The illness affected him when he was 19 years old

Nox used to be in the royal guard and was one of the most powerful guards. But he still keeps in touch with the royals guards (mostly Undyne). Papyrus is being trained by Undyne under Nox's request.

No canon sexuality yet. You guys can ship him with your ocs and such! But please, no proshipping. DO NOT SHIP HIM WITH A MINOR!! You are free to tag me in fanart of him!

He's a chill person who won't be the one to initiate a fight.

Both him and papyrus were adopted by Gaster

The marks on his face have no meaning (yet)

Some doodles under the cut! And new character that just existed a week ago-

Small detail on his eyelids that isn't visible ---^

Casual outfit ---^

Old outfit w/ scarf ---^

Unfinished sketch of Nox and Revamped Koid (Now called Dalisto) first interaction. Dalisto has healing powers and when they first found Nox they offered to heal him and perhaps lessen the effects of the illness. It does work and now they stick together and travel to different universes.

Dalisto info:

As seen in the sketch above, they have an "infection" on their left arm. This is a slight reference to Koid who was the child of a hybrid between a skeleton and a monster bird.

Dalisto has deja vu moments when some things seem familar to them. They can't figure out why and roll with it.

Dalisto has two different personality's, kind and chill and murder.

Their face is covered by a 'cloud' of black smoke? lines? idk. It only covers the top part so their mouth is still visible

Pansexual

Stands at 6"2'.

Just popped into existence one day.

Neutral. Does whatever they want whether it'll harm them or benefit them

Their healing magic can also regenerate lost limbs and heals souls on the brink of death. If the the soul has vanished they will not be able to bring it back to life.

#my art #koid #sans oc #original character #original charater art #undertale #undertale oc #underverse oc #sans au #utmv #utmv au #undertale au #skeleton oc #undertale au oc #ut au #undertale alternate universe #please ship him with an oc plEAse #<--- optional ofc

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veliseraptor · 4 months

Note

xuexiao hanahaki au for the ask meme cuz I feel like if anyone's gonna get me interested in a hanahaki au, it'd be you XD

high praise! I mean, this is me writing a trope I generally don't like (though I've now read...I think two takes on it that I actually did) by means of going "taken seriously, there's something here about the grotesque, painful, and distorting power of love, and that's neat" especially when it's applied to xue yang. because xue yang in this is the one getting hanahaki'd. basically I was going "I can make this absolutely horrific/focused more on the body horror of it all, and that sounds like fun" and that's what initially kicked off me thinking about this as something I could actually write.

(I think somebody asked me about it, at one point, but of course now i can't find the post.)

I also can't find the other post that was the second phase of me going "oooh I think I can make this work for me", which was about hanahaki not being about unrequited love but about repressed love, or unexpressed love, and playing with that, where it's not about how someone else feels but (in this case) about how xue yang does, and how that interacts with the way xue yang does (or doesn't) recognize or understand his own feelings, and...yeah. basically (1) make it horrific and (2) make it not about unrequitedness but something else that I personally find more compelling

the short version of all of this is "making xue yang cough up flowers for fun and profit is a new way of making him suffer I haven't tried yet", so there's that too.

EDIT: found the post I was talking about!!! the "originally created" thing sort of [citation needed] for me, but the concept itself I like

There were the things about Jinlintai that Xue Yang expected to appreciate (good food, warm bed, consistent supply of sweets), and the annoying things that he might’ve predicted if he’d thought about them (the people, mostly). Then there was the shit that came as a surprise, like the performances that got put on sometimes. Plays of stories he sometimes knew and sometimes didn’t, some better and some worse and some just stupid as all fuck. “Was that supposed to be Liu Qiuyue?” Xue Yang asked Jin Guangyao, who paused, pulling his brush away from the letter he was writing, and looked at him. Xue Yang waved a hand. “Last night. The story. That’s what it was, right?” “I believe so,” Jin Guangyao said after another moment, setting the brush down. Xue Yang smothered a smile of triumph at the indication that he had his attention. “Why do you ask?” “Cause it was different than the version I’d heard,” Xue Yang said. “The story I knew she wasted away cause she wouldn’t eat after Prince what’s-his-name turned her down. But this one had her…” He wrinkled his nose. “Puking petals, or something. Unless that was supposed to be symbolic.” Jin Guangyao gave him one of those looks that he got sometimes, like Xue Yang had surprised him by not knowing something. Xue Yang could never decide if it annoyed him or was a good thing. It was the reverse of what most people were surprised by, anyway.

#conversating #malicemismanager #fic excerpt #lise memes #the sad queer cultivators show #xuexiao

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teamfreewill56-blog · 20 days

Note

you reposted the chapter of the kimetsu gakuen "breath of flame" and made a comment that Kyojuro is depicted canonically correctly here. what do you think about his characterization in all the other chapters of the school au? does his image exactly correspond to the canon? I'm really interested in your opinion, because you understand Kyojuro better than anyone else and are a real expert in interpreting this character. ;^;

Thank you that's really sweet! I'm flattered that you are wanting my opinion and thank you for calling me an expert thats such high praise!

I haven't read all of the chapters, (only Vol.1 and Vol. 2 are currently available on kindle where I am) so this may have something to do with it---but up until this point all the other chapters I've seen floating around Tumblr I feel are canonically inaccurate. It doesn't exactly correspond, it felt like they picked a couple of his traits and then just went nuts.

Which I mean it is an AU and its for humor so I usually don't critique too harshly because its for fun etc etc. But they did Kyojuro so dirty and it makes me not want to read the school au chapters honestly. Everyone else is still relatively canon accurate but him they just...I dunno but I hate it.

Every chapter with Kyojuro involves him getting food, making food or trying to eat something that is for sure bad for him and the other Hashira-Teachers chiding him for it. It feels like the people working on these chapters saw the Mugen Train anime-only episode and the first like 15 minutes of the movie and decided they knew Kyojuro's personality based just on those. And didn't watch or read anything else with him in it. I mean my hell we got the shortest amount of time with this character and they decide to give him a food gag almost every time? Like really? Ya'll being lazy and they clearly did not understand why we all love Kyojuro so much.

In Mugen Train after Tanjiro sees Kyojuro eating does Kyojuro talk or bring up food with Tanjiro during any of that first conversation before they fall asleep? NOPE. During the entire movie there is not a single time-- even when he's eating the bento--that he says or does anything to indicate he is food obsessed. Conversation in his dreams? NOPE. Waking up and finding the boys and giving orders? NOPE. Throughout the whole movie, nothing. It's almost like gasp Kyojuro having a big appetite is just a tiny miscellaneous detail!

His Gaiden right when he gets introduced Senjuro says "I made you some sweets how about a rest?" You know who rushes to him and the food? MITSURI. And behind her Kyojuro is going "Hey! We aren't done yet!" And absolutely no hate to Mitsuri because I adore her and I love her big appetite and her obsession with food but she is the one obsessed with food, in canon she is the one who often talks about it, not Kyojuro. But we don't see it at all in the high school AU.

There are moments in Gaiden, Mugen Train Drama CD etc where Kyojuro is shown mostly being around people when eating but he's clearly enjoying their company and being with them, not focused on the food. Even in the anime only episode which is food heavy, he uses it to navigate around the people he has to interact with--and my only complaint really is him being upset about Slasher stepping on the bento box while he's got his claws in a guy's shoulder. Because Kyojuro cares about people and their safety most and that victim would have been his only concern not the bento.

The very first time Kyojuro is in the High School AU he orders pizza and has it delivered to the school because he was craving it--even though he knows there's rules against deliveries for safety reasons. "I never do anything for myself and always put everyone else, especially their safety first" Kyojuro Rengoku would never do this. Shinobu tells the boys the reason for the rule is to keep dangerous people from trying to sneak into the school and there is no way Kyojuro would risk that, like none. And then Sanemi tells him to "control his urges".

...Ya'll joking right?

Not only is that a horrible way to phrase that especially towards this cinnamon roll man (urges to purchase food you're craving is not that bad anyway if at all...) but Kyojuro is always in control and has never once given into urges or even his emotions other than happy?? Even with Akaza pissing him off he didn't lose control of himself and Upper Moon 3 was attacking his core beliefs. But even then like, I didn't find this particular part of the conversation to be funny although that's the intention but that could just be me.

He wouldn't sneak into the home ec room to make food either, although its unclear if its actually sneaking or if its just "sneaking" to Haganezuka. Either way if he's getting chased for something he supposedly did wrong he's not going to run he's going to confront it and try to resolve it.

There are things that I feel are accurate, at least a little bit. When Kyojuro isn't being food obsessed but is focused on helping his students I feel like we're closer to canon. He does always try to help students who come to him with a problem and he commits to helping them just as he does in canon with his job.

He helps the butterfly sisters try to figure out a solution to creating medicines for their club (but his solution is food when he could have given them historical references/places to look to get ideas from and help them brainstorm from there).

He recognizes how badly the boys wanted pizza and so found a way to get them pizza and made it for them.

I haven't read the full comic but I've seen a little section of Kyojuro helping Sanemi and Obanai get in the way of a pot of spilled Tonjiro so it didn't get on a student. But beyond that to me it just doesn't feel like Kyojuro. The marshmallow one does because he gives real advice and insight about a topic when he talks about it with Senjuro, he teaches the boys about the sun and fire (this hints to me that he should have been able to help the Butterfly girls on a level beyond let's make foods that we know are healthy), when Senjuro realizes that the food in his drawing is more like a marshmallow than sweet potato Kyojuro chimes in with insight "Good idea, come to think about it I also like roasting sweet potato with marshmallow too!"---giving Senjuro additional reassurance that hey the way he colored it does actually fit something Kyojuro would do. The boys get hungry so okay let's feed you lads.

When the lightning starts a fire he immediately goes for the fire extinguisher and then jumps outside and puts it out and all his dialogue here is spot on although I'm not sure I believe Kyojuro would miss a part of the fire. If anything he'd probably offer to just make them a fire after putting one out but maybe that's just me.

#anon ask #anon #Rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro rengoku #flame hashira #flame pillar #rengoku kyōjurō #set your heart ablaze #demon slayer #senjuro rengoku #demon slayer mugen train #rengoku shinjuro #kny #rengoku kyoujurou #ya'll so sweet #honestly I am liking the school AU less as we go on because its so hard to see Kyojuro treated this way #does that make me a purist?#maybe I'm just being too mean

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lunanoc · 6 months

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Hey there! Your posts about heihua and xiao hua in particular have made me curious and I've only started book 7, so I didn’t get too much og book xiao hua (I have watched all the dramas though). Would you mind talking about him (and/or them) a little more? I'd love to read that!

And if not, then I hope you still have a great day :)

hi! i'd be happy to talk more about xiao hua and hei xiazi in the books if you're interested in my take on them (which honestly thank you i'm flattered you'd want it tbh 😂) so thanks for asking (sorry in advance for how horribly long this is)

before i say anything though, a few disclaimers:

while i do like him, xiao hua is technically not my ultimate blorbo (that's wu xie) so because the brainrot is less intense i'm not gonna pretend i'm an expert on all things xiao hua compared to some other people i can think of. same goes for heihua, which is a ship i do like but more passively, so again, not enough brainrot to be a super expert

i haven't read everything they're involved in yet, so for complete transparency, i'm currently about halfway through sha hai in my chronological order read of everything, and anything after that point i've read in bits and pieces only (like various extras, bits of yucun biji etc), so i notably haven't read flowery night. as far as heihua goes, the only thing i've read where they directly interact extensively is the beginning portion of what's considered restart part 2 aka the mute village storyline, but to my knowledge they don't really interact in real time before that point or barely. so i won't be talking about flowery night or the dragon vein trilogy that takes place after restart

any quotes will be pulled from merebear's translations of the dmbj books

i won't be avoiding spoilers so spoiler warning

NOW

with that out of the way, let's talk about book xiao hua and a little about book heihua. i'll be comparing to mostly ultimate note in terms of the adaptations but i'll try not to get too much into that, so the tldr of it is just to bear in mind their dynamic and xiao hua's character in that are significantly different in some ways from how they are in the books. if you want a good drama portrayal of book xiao hua imo the best by far is lost tomb 2 xiao hua even if even he isn't 100% perfect either. anyway i'm getting off track 🏃‍♀️

since you mentioned book 7, it's worth mentioning for anyone unfamiliar with the books that canonically xiao hua shows up for the first time fairly late in the story at the start of chinese volume 7, more specifically the xinyue restaurant auction, while hei xiazi briefly features in chinese volumes 4 and 5 as part of wu sanxing's double agent team along with xiaoge, but by comparison you don't get much about him besides that he's mysterious and competent on a scale wu xie equates with xiaoge. wu xie and hei xiazi don't interact much, so he's pratically not there and leaves you wondering what relevance he has to the story, which is only ever answered come sha hai. and more importantly at that point, there's no established connection between him and xiao hua at all, which is the major difference with the drama adaptations, namely ultimate note. you do find out later, both in sha hai and a thousand faces, that they're at the very least acquainted with each other to some extent, but that's information you only get much later. so essentially any heihua content pre sha hai is necessarily canon divergence au, and yes that includes ultimate note

xiao hua as a character then. it's interesting to note that he's fascinating in how eeriely similar he ends up being to hei xiazi in some respects, namely in how they operate, which is why i feel they get along as well as they do, but let's look at him independently first because there's a lot to say about him.

keeping in mind that the books are all, exceptions aside, from wu xie's perspective, xiao hua isn't named until fairly late into book 7. they meet by chance as they cross paths in xinyue restaurant, but he doesn't introduce himself to wu xie who calls him Pink Shirt until you reach a much later portion of the book that's never been adapted simply because ultimate note changed the story too significantly by introducing him early to keep that entire bit, which is terrible in some ways because it's such a fun scene, but we'll get to that later. in the meantime, here's xiao hua's first appearence, which establishes through frequent paralleled behavior that the reader is meant to preceive some degree of similarity between wu xie and xiao hua as well, which i'll also get to later:

Just as I was about to speak, the man saw Poker-face behind me and his face instantly changed. I thought he knew Poker-Face, but when I was about to start asking questions, I saw a man come out from behind Poker-Face. He must have followed us in. The man was dressed in a black suit with a pink shirt underneath and no tie. He was very relaxed. The man went up immediately and asked, “Young Master, the usual?” The man didn’t speak, but looked at me and stopped. I suddenly felt that he was a little familiar. I lived in Jiangsu and Zhejiang provinces, so I honestly didn’t have a lot of chances to meet acquaintances in Beijing. At this moment, my mind was stuck, and I couldn’t remember who this man was, but I smiled reflexively. The man had obviously stopped like me, and was looking at me with a very surprised and puzzled expression on his face before he also smiled. (...) The both of us smiled pervertedly at each other for a long time, but neither recognized the other. Honestly, when I looked at him, I felt as if I had seen him somewhere before. But on closer reflection, that was all it was. I simply felt that he was familiar. (...) The two of us shared a look, but we really couldn’t remember, and were both a little embarrassed. The old fellow with glasses was amused. These old Beijingers were slick and had seen all kinds of things. He gave us a roundabout: “Do the two young masters know each other? Let’s not stand here blocking the elevator door. When you meet someone you know, you’ll remember.” As he said this, he invited the other party in. Pink Shirt shook his head as if it was inconceivable, looked at me thoughtfully, and then turned and walked into the inner hall. He had only taken a few steps when he looked back at me again. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 6 'Auction' & 7 'Auction Part II'

much like hei xiazi, xiao hua is established as mysterious and somewhat unfathomable in a way that niggles at wu xie who can't remember why it is he recongnizes this man he to all intents and purposes should never have met given they don't run in the same circles and live in areas quite far apart. he takes note of how apparently disinterested he is when he notices that xiao hua is sitting across the iron triangle on the upper floor of the auction house, seemingly on his phone utterly bored out of his mind or acting like he's above what's happening really:

I looked carefully and saw Pink Shirt in a box on the left side opposite us. It seemed that he was alone and playing on his cell-phone. (...) Basically, it seemed like this was the only item being sold today, so all these people had come prepared to win. Thinking that, I looked at Pink Shirt, who wasn’t far away. He was no longer playing with his phone, but arrogantly sitting on a western-style sofa, and staring at the ceiling with his arms crossed. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 8 'Feast for Collectors', 9 'Memories Part I

but of course he's very much paying attention, as pangzi points out:

He took no notice at all, and simply wiped it with his hand and continued: “It’s time for a break, and when the second half comes, I bet another two million gets added. Goddamn it, this Fat Master has learned a lot today.” (...) He pointed to Pink Shirt again. “This guy is also very good. He’s been playing with his phone the whole time and hasn’t even raised his head. He rang the last bell just before the break. It seems he’s determined to win and doesn’t even want to compete. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 11 'Lighting the Sky Lantern'

and this is where we come back to how in some aspects he and hei xiazi are actually quite similar in their approach, in a way that's markedly different from how ultimate note sets out to contrast them almost glaringly. both he and xiao hua cultivate a persona of nonchalence with a devil may care attitude, but behind the false ease and approchability, there's a calculating and efficient mind aware of its surroundings at all times. in a similar way, very quickly you also realize that xiao hua, far from the prim and proper young master he's presented as in ultimate note, is quite literally just as unhinged.

from the moment xiaoge jumps into action to fight the restaurant security staff for the qilin seal, xiao hua jumps to fight him too, except contrary to ultimate note, this isn't in an effort to save face and throw huo xiangu off because he's working with wu xie, and again, he shows himself to be calculating and cautious:

Between one thought and the next, Poker-face flashed like lightning from my side and jumped straight down from the second-floor balcony. His behavior left me stunned, and screams could be heard everywhere. I saw him make it to the ground and turn over swiftly before I heard another round of exclamations. I turned to look and saw Pink Shirt had one hand holding the railing of the gallery, while the other hand was in his pocket. He also jumped down and landed in front of Poker-face. On the other side, Fatty gave a loud roar, grabbed a stool, kicked down the screen, and rushed at the hotel staff who rushed in. The scene was a complete mess. (...) A man who rushed up was knocked down by Poker-face, and Pink Shirt was protecting the front of the glass cabinet. The two men looked at each other but hadn't yet come to blows. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 11 'Lighting the Sky Lantern', 12 'Wreaking Havoc in Heaven'

until wu xie finally manages to get downstairs with pangzi, at which point he finds xiao hua, ass handed to him by xiaoge because it's xiaoge, but instead of angry or surprised or any number of appropriate reactions at being beaten up, the maniac is smiling gleefully. and wu xie understandably thinks it's really fcking weird:

When I came downstairs, the glass cabinet with the seal had been broken and the thing inside had been taken out. Poker-face was looking at the seal carefully and had no intention of leaving. Pink Shirt was getting up from the ground, clutching his neck and coughing. It appeared he had already been beaten once. When we walked past him, however, we saw him coughing, smiling, and looking at us as if he were very happy. I went up to the stage and told Poker- face to take the seal and get away quickly. As soon as I turned around, I saw Pink Shirt approach me and say, “Hey, Brother.” Fatty and I looked at him. Fatty lifted the table and Pink Shirt immediately waved, “Wait, wait!” He took a business card from his pocket, handed it to us, and pointed to the imperial seal. “I won’t stop you. Here’s my contact information. When you want to sell the stolen goods, call me.” Damn it, I said to myself, definitely not a serious person. Fatty actually went up and took the business card, and Pink Shirt made a gesture of invitation. I was so anxious that I pushed them aside and rushed out. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 13 'Huo Xiuxiu'

it's at this point we also get introduced to huo xiuxiu (best girl who i could also talk tbh) who's also an absolute gremlin who teams up with xiao hua partly at huo xiangu's behest to test the iron triangle. which is where get into the entire portion of book that couldn't be adapted, and is the part the ultimate note actually changed significantly, because the iron triangle aren't on the run from huo xiangu, she's the one sheltering them. and so xiao hua's real introduction comes in the form of an elaborate scheme between him, huo xiuxiu, and huo xiangu wherein he disguises himself as huo xiuxiu thanks to the bone-shrinking technique, so successfully even xiaoge doesn't detect it until all three of them clue into something being very wrong, at which point he attacks them, gets his ass handed to him by xiaoge again, and once again finds it hilarious and the challenge has made him want xiaoge around clearly:

He staggered but didn’t fall to the ground. At the same time, I suddenly saw him pull a strange dagger from his sleeve, which seemed to be an antique. Holding it in a reverse grip, he rushed towards Poker-face. I immediately shouted “Be careful!” only to see that Poker-face was no longer in his original position. At the same time, a lightning-quick shadow flashed through the air and instantly knocked the man out with his knee. (...) I knew that the real malicious one was this guy, so I didn’t feel an ounce of pity for him as I helped Poker-face subdue him first. When “Xiuxiu” got up from the ground, his whole body suddenly stretched out in a strange posture. He suddenly got bigger, his shoulders widened, his height increased, and the mask was torn from his face. When I looked at him, I immediately recognized Pink Shirt. He was gasping as he laughed: “It hurts way more getting hit when shrunk to that size. No joke.” (...) Pink Shirt rubbed his joints, smiled, and then came up to me and patted me on the shoulder. He turned and nodded to Granny Huo: “Yes, you have a good eye.” Then he pointed to Poker-face and said, “This guy belongs to me." — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 30 'Get Down to Business'

so essentially, all this was a very long-winded way of showing that xiao hua, before we even know his name and identity, is established as unpredictable, ruthless, calculating, faux insouciant, and a particular flavor of playful that wu xie clearly finds unhinged and is extremely put off by for a hot minute, mostly because he's not aware (not is the reader at this point) that xiao hua's entire life has forged him into finding amusement and challenge in unorthodox things.

in the same way, it's directly because of this that contrary to ultimate note (and even any of the other early dramas like lost tomb 2) he's also absolutely not immediately ride or die for wu xie despite knowing very well they're childhood friends. he abandons wu xie, who as per his assessment was in all likelihood dead or dying, to secure his own escape before coming back to find him, which is the point where wu xie finally realizes the single greatest point of divergence between them. up until then, both wu xie and the narrative make a point of establishing parallels between wu xie and xiao hua, and here finally, what divides them is made clear, and the narrative establishes them as two sides of the same coin separated by this one split in personal code of ethics:

He apparently didn’t rush to check on my situation after I fell into a coma, but continued to climb inside instead. He reached the end of the crevice, completed his task, and then came out to see if I was dead or not. I couldn’t help but feel a little upset. I didn’t know whether this could be considered a ruthless or firm mentality, but he obviously didn’t feel burdened by it. I had finally found a difference between the two of us. But since I didn’t have the physical strength and didn’t want to break our tacit understanding, I didn’t bother expressing this emotion. I knew that when it came to this industry, the habit of desperately rescuing your companions didn’t exist. There seemed to be a kind of prior agreement where two people decided to save themselves if both parties were in danger. It was actually very fair if you thought about it. It was true that Xiao Hua was uncertain about my situation at the time, and even I would hesitate to go back and rescue someone if I were him. I couldn’t help thinking of Fatty and Poker-face again. If they were here, the black-haired corpse would’ve had his head cut off before he could scratch my back. Or I would have seen Fatty rush out from those pottery jars and screw everything up. But I would have been saved. At that moment, I felt an extreme sense of insecurity, more than I had felt before. Although we were three people now, I was really only responsible for myself. It was a very disconcerting thought. At the same time, I suddenly understood why Xiao Hua hadn’t been grateful but angry at me for going into the cave to save him. He was used to solving his problems by himself. Before he did these kinds of things, he had already accepted that there wouldn’t be any backup or help. He wouldn’t blame anyone for his own death, nor would he blame himself for others’ death. Was this the Mystic Nine’s mindset? I felt a chill in my heart. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 53 'Snake Bite'

and to be clear, this doesn't mean xiao hua is a bad person, nor does the narrative present him as one. it's simply the point where both wu xie and xiao hua diverge clearly when up until then they'd been presented as eerily paralleled. the difference between lies in where this mentality and stance is one that will eventually cause wu xie much grief and trauma when he's forced to adopt it during sha hai, it's simply one that xiao hua adopted too long ago to function without, and has stopped dwelling on if he ever did. similarly, xiao hua takes even longer to finally look at wu xie and see his use and welcome his presence genuinely, where before he'd still been cultivating the same easily approchable persona, though wu xie poked several holes into it before then:

Xiao Hua gave me a meaningful smile, “I found another reason why Granny Huo asked me to bring you. To some extent, you’re also a knowledgeable little shit.” I grinned, thinking that these words made it sound like he didn’t want me to be here before. — Daomu Biji Volume 7, ch. 55 'Unlock the Password'

from there, once xiao hua begins to truly open up to wu xie as a friend rather than a burden he's been forced into babysitting, he very quickly picks up on their similarities and what divides them as well, and in a show of almost uncharacteristic mercy, tries to spare wu xie from the ruthlessness he's accustomed to adopting to an extent when wu xie is forced to impersonate wu sanxing and confront just how ugly and lawless the underground business is. it's why this particular scene with panzi is incredibly touching in that despite confronting him with the responsability behind his choices, he spares wu xie from having to have literal blood on his hands, and in that way spares the version of himself he could have been had life not twisted him the way it has:

“Tonight is the key,” Xiao Hua said. “We just need a person to ‘cash’ in on our ‘achievement.’ Pan Zi has to come forward to determine how many people are on our side. Then, Wang Ba Qiu and Lao Liu will be eliminated later tonight.” I was completely shocked, “What do you mean?” “Never put something off until tomorrow. This is Master Three’s rule and Wang Ba Qiu knows it very well. He won’t wait for death.” As Xiao Hua spoke, he looked up at the sky. “It’s going to rain blood tonight.” I gave him a surprised look, “You can say such terrible words without batting an eye. How do you do it?” Xiao Hua smiled, “My grandfather said that sentence, and my mother relayed it to me. I was only seventeen when I heard those words.” As he said this, he sighed, “Stress is the kind of thing that when you talk about it, it’s gone.” I frowned and felt a sudden burst of fear in my heart. I never thought this kind of thing would happen again. “Must it happen like this?” I asked him. “Why don’t we call the police anonymously and have them kill him?” “Mr. Naïve is a fitting nickname,” Xiao Hua said. “If I were your Uncle Three, I might have found a way to keep you naïve, but I’m not. Little Master Three, let’s face reality. This was your choice.” I was silent as I looked at Changsha passing by outside the car window. I remembered that Pan Zi had said something similar to me before. Indeed, this was my choice. (...) While we ate, I asked Xiao Hua when the evening’s events would begin. He merely smiled without saying a word and kept making me drink. It was a kind of wine I couldn’t identify by taste, but I suspected it was mung bean roast, which was the kind of beverage grave robbers used to drink. Not only did it have some crystallized sugar and medicinal ingredients in it, but it had a spicy flavor and tasted like mung bean soup. After only a few drinks, I got drunk without warning and didn’t even notice when I became muddle-headed. When I woke up, it was already the next morning. Xiao Hua and Pan Zi were lying on the sofa in my room, both covered in blood and sleeping soundly. I looked out the window at the bright sunshine and knew that everything was over. — Daomu Biji Volume 8 Part I, ch. 10 'End of the Act'

looking at all this (and this is is my purely my own opinion, so take it with a grain of salt), my main issue with ultimate note xiao hua (and heihua by extension which i'll get into briefly) is that he's not only in some aspects a little to a lot OOC, he's mostly a lot more one-dimensional where book xiao hua is anything but

as far as heihua as a ship goes, they don't actually interact much if at all until much later in canon, even if you interestingly discover in sha hai that it's implied that hei xiazi is working with wu xie on the sha hai project at xiao hua's behest, and that much of his trust in wu xie and his plan stems from xiao hua's trust in wu xie:

It was really a heavy loss. Why did he encounter such tragic consequences every time he tried to emulate Lei Feng67 and do good deeds, while doing unethical things often made him a lot more money? Was he being cheated by partnering up with Xie Yuchen and Wu Xie? He found it very interesting. He seldom completely ignored the details and promised others he’d do something. If he was part of a certain plan, then he had to know every aspect very well— not only his part but the others’ parts as well This was the only time he was doing something he knew almost nothing about, and the only reason was: “You just have to trust him.” He hoped doing this wasn’t a stupid decision. If this thing failed, then he would blacken the Wu family’s and Xie Yuchen’s credit himself. — Sand Sea Part III, ch. 117 'Fleeing Cockroaches'

there's also a fun bit in part I where hei xiazi, before disappearing to retrieve wu xie and wang meng from beneath the sand in gutongjing, leaves li cu with a backpack and a phone with one number he tells him to call for help, and once li cu actually calls it, you understand it's xiao hua on the other end who's entirely nonchalent about it:

Li Cu trembled as he picked up the phone, pressed the call button on reflex, and put it by his ear. After a while, he heard a voice from the other side say: “Who is it? Who called me just now?” “Well…I’m a messenger.” Li Cu said incoherently. “Someone asked me to give you a message.” He thought that after hearing this, the other party would reply to him and say “talk” or “wait a minute, I’ll find a quiet place” in a very low, solemn voice, but the other party said indifferently: “I’m a little busy now, can you call me back in thirty minutes?” Li Cu paused for a moment and thought, you’re even giving me orders now, before he said, “But this message is very important.” “My business is also quite important. If he’s really in such a hurry, why not come to me instead of asking you to call and give me a message?” The other party continued, “I’ll talk to you in thirty minutes. It’s okay if you don’t call.” At this point, the man hung up. — Sand Sea Part I, ch. 40 'Unique Number'

and it's arguable that much of the vagueness stems from the very real necessity of secrecy that the whole sha hai plan demands, but while much of this reads as "oh? he's inconvenienced? that's too bad, also i'm busy at the moment please call back at a better time", given how his character has been established before, it's safe to say this isn't the genuine annoyance and exasperation you get from him in ultimate note wherever hei xiazi is concerned, he's far too enticed by chaos as a form of vaguely perverse amusement. it reads far more (again in my opinion) as how much of heihua's dynamic that i've seen play out in the books goes, that is to say them prodding at each other in a giant mutual game of chicken where they're both grinning inwardly or outwardly like the gremlin trashmen they are

the entire premise of restart part 2 is the iron triangle and the baby triangle needling xiao hua into gossiping about hei xiazi because he's late to their get together, to which he happily complies because oh boy that's this week's chance at getting a tally on the prod sheet.

i'm not entirely sure this is coherent or at all what you were looking for, and is definitely way too long woops, but uh. that's my xiao hua/heihua word vomit? i guess? book xiao hua and/or heihua enthusiasts are very welcome to add onto or debate any of this, i leave the rest to the real experts 😂

#how is it that the first meta i write is for xiao hua #and heihua #when neither are my brainrot blorbos #i clearly need to do this for pingxie #or general lore #or wu xie #or xiaoge #but those would be actual books atp #please send help #meta #xie yuchen #heihua #dmbj #dmbj meta

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