#my pain and suffering

[mysmia06]

I regret telling you how much you mean to me,

I regret showing you the extent I can go for you,

I regret putting your needs before mine,

I regret letting you use me over time,

But I do not regret ever loving you.

-MysMiA

#painful love #heartbreak #toxic relationship #lettingyougo #loving you #why meeeee #painful #i still love you #relationship #hurtingcosiloveu #hurtingcosofyou #hurtinginlove #hurt/comfort #im hurtin #feeling empty #feeling unwanted #feeling unloved #feeling sad #i feel empty #my pain and suffering #sad thoughts #sad but true #lovinguhurts #relationship issues #alone with my thoughts #sadgirl #kinda depressing #depressing post #sorry for being depressing #you broke my fucking heart

[beautifullyunspoken]

It feels different this time..

It’s more then just sadness

It’s like acceptance

Acceptance I won’t ever be happy

Acceptance I wont have a normal life

Accepting love is not for me

I am ok with that fact I won’t be here for long

Even when I go and do things that are fun and when I’m with people I love

It’s still there in the background reminding me.

That’s why I make the most out of everything I do

Because I feel my time is getting closer where I will say goodbye and the scary thing is, it’s starting not to scare me anymore

I do fear what’s on the other side, will I be punished for taking my own life, will I feel regret ? Is there eternal darkness or just nothingness ?

I have this feeling like I miss something but I don’t know what, hopefully I find it on the other side and peace 🫶🏼 I’ve lived such a great life but this pain and feeling I have inside me is getting too much and eating away at my being I’m not living anymore I’m suffering

I don’t want to talk about it with people cause I don’t want to be saved anymore I don’t want people to try and make me feel better it’s always there no matter the distractions, I just want to go and not suffer anymore 🤍

#sadgirl #blog #my thoughts #my writing #bipolar disorder #feelings #bpd feels #trauma #depression #suicudal #my pain and suffering #time #suffering #depressesd

[getlostinsidemycrazymind]

Vent

Maybe its finally time for me to leave this world. I was never meant for it cause all it's been is just stuffing and pain, since the first day I was born things went wrong and they haven't changed till this day. I started having suicidal tendency since the age of 15 and I'm close to being 30 so I think that's might be far enough. I try to end it a few times and here I am still breathing. I been trying my best to keep it together but I think I'm pass my limits. Everything is just getting worst

#personal #my pain and suffering #fucked up mentally #paranoia #depression isnt a choice #just too much #need help but cant get help #but wish i could sleep forever #wish people would help #vent #whats the point #im tryin my best #im so tired #im losing my mind #im useless #lost in the dark #depression #insidemycrazymind

[leigh-89]

Asking Alexandria-Let It Sleep:

Just incredible lyrics

#asking alexandria #denis stoff #ben bruce #death metal #metalhead #music #heavy metal #poetry #art #grunge #my pain and suffering

[lunarthefrieschild]

I accidentally bite my cheeks until it bleeding and it hurts

#pain #my pain and suffering #painful #bring me to the hospital #help- #lunar.txt

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[awetfrog]

fellas is it gay if it's for stealth

#my art tag? #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #bloodweave #thinking about astarion in drow armor: morally correct #drawing drow armor: pain and suffering

[devilcatdarling]

There is truly no greater love than taking your most adored fictional character and throwing them into the emotionally-devastating angst fueled trash compactor and pressing every single button on the machine just to see what will happen

#hollow knight #hollow my beloved #hmm yes I'm drawing pain and agony tonight #night rambles #night causes pain #night causes suffering #Feel free to apply to ur own blorbos #all blorbos must suffer :D

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for? #open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer) #maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel #once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs #i respected their commitment to the theme #but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities #dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton #ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered #i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it #aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment #honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet #letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already. #really i've put off my responsibilities long enough #(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings) #(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time) #(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.) #(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)

[mysmia06]

Lesson learnt.

A persons real identity is revealed when you stop giving them everything they want. To judge your intentions, I stopped being there for you and you left me without hesitation. You moved on to find someone new.

-MysMiA

#painful love #heartbreak #toxic relationship #lettingyougo #loving you #painful #relationship #i still love you #fuck love #someone pls explain #sorry for being depressing #sad but true #feeling sad #hurtingcosiloveu #hurtingcosofyou #im hurtin #hurtinginlove #my pain and suffering #you broke my fucking heart #broke up #heart been broke so many times #you broke my heart #lovelies #hurtquotes #relationship issues #mistakes #lovestorygonewrong #fake love #why meeeee #mysmia

[beautifullyunspoken]

And once again I put my trust into the wrong person, I told my deepest darkest secrets to the wrong person, I thought after having no faith and distrust in people it would be easy to pick up on anything unauthentic or anything that wasn’t genuine, I finally thought I had found a deep connection with someone which is so rare & now they’ve abandoned me without any reason or excuse

I already hate this world & everyone in it why the few people I like end up leaving with no explanation, my abandonment issues & trust issues have had enough that’s it I can’t do this anymore I won’t ever put my trust into another person again 😪 I am just a shell of emptiness with a broken heart 💔

#heartbroken #heart been broke so many times #heartbreak #distrust #depression #sadgirl #blog #my thoughts #my writing #feelings #bpd feels #alone with my thoughts #im just so tired #abandoned #favourite person #lost myself #lost history #im so done #my pain and suffering #over it

[getlostinsidemycrazymind]

I'm tired of all this shit everything I do is a failure no matter how hard I fucken try. Doesn't matter how hard I try to get out of this it always fucken remains the fucken same. I honestly don't want to keep fucken trying I'm tired of all this fucken false hope. I tired of all these fucken fake fucken people saying they care what happens to me I'm tired of seeing all these people saying they care about suicide prevention yet in reality they could care less just trying to make themselves look better in front of everyone else. No one knows how much I just want to just fucken end it yet everyone keeps telling me to keep holding on I tired of it. No one fucken knows how many times I have look to find a way to end it fucken quick. People are just fucken shit tired of seeing all this positive bullshit everywhere you don't care about people you don't fucken know

#depression #anxiety #suidical #paranioa #personal #my pain and suffering #insidemycrazymind

[mimiscappinisideblog]

Me throughout 2020-2021-2022-2023:

Me the moment AO3 has been down for more than ten hours:

#someone put me out of my misery #i don't want to live on this planet anymore #mimi talks #GOOD THING THAT SOME AO3 WRITERS ALSO POST THEIR FICS HERE #HI. I LOVE YOU ALL #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #ao3 #archives of our own #pain and suffering

[bee-bees-posts]

12.27.22

Tuesday

It's almost just as hard to be with a peaceful man you know.. You develop this sense of "normal" mixed with paranoia in red flags and when things blow up.. but they never do and he never has anything to catch and my mind is creating problems with him to cope. I know its sick and toxic and I am doing better about my paranoia. If I hadn't chased love so desperately with unlovable people in the past I dont think id have this problem at all.

#healthy relationships #my love #my pain and suffering

[olasketches]

two sides of the same coin

#itadori yuuji #ryomen sukuna #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #my art #jujutsu kaisen fanart #brainrot incoming (pls don’t mind me) #one thing sukuna and yuuji have in common is that they’re both absolutely miserable #sukuna is utterly selfish and yet it only made him hollow inside and now he’s just killing time waiting for death to come #yuuji is completely selfless and yet it’s only made him suffer and bc of that he’s been constantly trying to check out of life #and I think the funniest but also the most painful thing about these two is that… #despite that they’re vastly opposite they might be the only people that can understand each other the most #imagine them having a heart to heart lol maybe then they would realise some things about themselves