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#pls excuse me while I cry in the corner from all the memories that started flooding back
katronautt · 2 years
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KAT'S YEAR REVIEW & A THANK YOU NOTE
hello my lovelies! we reached the end of this year (thank god) and i have a few things to say and a lot to thank for you guys.
(i promise that the rest of my writing is not in this font lol)
this year sucked. bigtime. everyone was all over 2020, how bad it was and all but lemme tell you, 2021 wasn't that much better either. first half of this year was spent with struggling trying to find a job while spiraling down into the rabbit hole of self-pity and depression. finally in may (after 8 months of searching), i got accepted to a place that wasn't (and isn't) any better than what I had left behind in 2020. still, it is somewhat better and i least i have a monthly income for now.
but i still very much like to move on to something else in 2022 so here is the first thing im hoping for next year: a good job with a good salary, something i enjoy doing. (huh good luck you dumb biatch lol)
so all in all, i hated this year but!! there are a few things that made is somewhat bareable and it is all thanks to you guys! (here comes the soppy part so buckle up)
i (re)discovered the world of fanfiction throughout the pedro fandom sometime in november, 2020. i have all that time in my hands since i didnt have a job and i got really into it. ever since then, i find it hard at nights to go to sleep without reading anything before it (kinda became a tradition of mine if you will) and during the winter, reading fanfics helped me tremendously. they helped me escape from my miserable, jobless, futureless and lonely af life and they helped me get through the day. they brought me joy, sometimes tears in a good way and i caught myself staying up til 2 or 3 just to read "one more" chapter of a certain fic.
i still cant believe you guys are doing this for free, for our entertainment (and yours) ! sharing your wonderful works with us and expecting nothing in return (except for the obviously well deserved likes & reblogs) is truly a wonder i never be able to comprehend!
tumblr is truly a hellsite, it gave me so much anxiety since i joined back in actively yet... tumblr is also that thing that gave me the most joy this year with y'all in it.
and now for the thank you notes:
⭐ yes of course im starting with my dearest, my love, my one braincell, @queenofthefaceless. ari, you were one of the first 'big' blogs that started following me after i started making gifs again and i was all over and back and that support still holds up til today. thank you for your neverending support and for always being there for me, no matter what. ilysm. 💜
⭐ although we dont speak much lately, @keethus-arts I ll never forget your support and nice words whenever i was feeling down. thank you keeth! 💜
⭐ when @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa started following me, i was just about to go to bed around 2 am, but when i saw the notification i got so excited that i couldnt sleep for another half an hour and then the next morning i checked in there again to see if i wasnt dreaming. for a while i was intimidated by Katryn for some stupid reason (you know big blog with amazing and popular fics and all) but honestly she's the absolute sweetest and I'm so glad I got to meet you! You have such amazing & wonderful stories! i also wanna thank you for your infinite support towards my maxie gifs and towards my other works too💜
⭐ the same happened with @qveenbvtch, i was (and am) so in love with her javi series, i never thought that such a big and amazing (and intimidating) writer would ever talk to me, let alone follow me but she is also one of the sweetest person i've ever met here and i hope she is doing alright and having a nice holidays wherever she is right now 💜
⭐ @mandocrasis birdie, you know this by now but i found you and your blog through your mind blowing fic interruption which is probably something i will never shut up about, but through that smutty one piece i got to meet a wonderful person with wonderful stories & i thank you for your never fading support towards me and my gifs 💜
⭐ @asta-lily lil beans, although you are not that active anymore on tumblr (which i hope will change one day), you were one of the first people i became mutuals with and i was lucky enough too meet the sweetest, loveliest person in you. and your AOJ story forever remains dear to my heart 💜
⭐ sweet, sweet @anaaaispunk ! the first thing i read from you was the first chapter of your crazy in love series (during my summer holiday, on a beach, with people all around me... ) i was instantly blown away and sweating (and not just from the hot wheater 🤭), I just knew I had to follow you for more haha. but this way I got to meet another sweet soul of tumblr with an amazing writing talent. thank you for all the love and support you have shown towards me and my gifs 💜
⭐ MEG! i feel like i am so lucky for finding your soft max lord series, it seriously changed my life, i fell in love with the story, with max, the whole thing.. and when you dedicated your latest chapter to me with that sweet note, i felt like i could cry, because honestly, one of the best thing that happened to me lately haha. you are an absolute angel and dont you forget that @perropascal !! 💜
⭐ and i also wanna mention and say thanks to @babydarkstar! Your ezra story had blown me the fuck away, seriously, its amazing, wonderful and beautiful.. just like you anya, thank you for support and your amazingness! 💜
Alrighty, i talk way too fucking much so im just gonna tag the rest of y'all to whom i say a massive thanks because without your amazing fics i dont think i would have survived this year ( i know with some of you we are not mutuals but that doesnt stop me from loving your works):
@absurdthirst, @toomanystoriessolittletime, @storiesofthefandomlovers, @honestly-shite, @littlemisspascal, @radiowallet, @queridopascal, @just-here-for-the-moment, @softpedropascal , @javier-pena, @f0rever15elf, @danidrabbles, @lellowberry, @pedro-pascal-love, @foli-vora, @krissology @frannyzooey, @starlightmornings, @wordsnwhiskey, @juletheghoul, @dincrypt, @mandosmistress, @yespolkadotkitty, @songsformonkeys, @the-ginger-hedge-witch, @astroboots, @brandyllyn, @charnelhouse , @ezrasbirdie , @novemberrain221, @oonajaeadira
And to every other lovely mutuals I am lucky enough to have: without your support I'd be nowhere. Love y'all tremendously 💋❤️❤️
@beskarboobs, @300mirrors, @over300books, @artsymaddie, @phantomviola, @djarsdin, @sirtadcooper , @lucrezia-thoughts, @wild-at-heart-kept-in-cage
Here's to another shitty AMAZING year with you guys on this hellsite!! 🥂🎉❤️❤️❤️❤️
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howggswouldreact · 3 years
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🏥 The Personification of Our Love | Kim Lip
Request: kim lip x reader where the reader is pregnant and goes into labor pls ~~~ love your blog ♡♡♡♡ Plot: Jungeun is waiting at the Hospital while Reader is in labor. Jungeun's mind flies to loving memories. Words: 2, 222 Genre: fluff, pregnancy Notes: i use to say "i loved writing this one" because i really do love writing things you all request me. and i loved writing this one. i love to write about things that involve family and friendship, etc. this one is the type to make my heart feel at peace... i hope you enjoy it and have a nice read! ♡♡
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Maybe Jungeun shouldn't keep her eyes open for so long, without blinking. At least that's what Haseul was telling her all the time, but she wouldn't be aware of what her friend was saying until hours later, when the white doors were opened and a person wearing blue from head to toe told her that she was finally allowed to enter. For now, she had her hands cupped over her mouth, her feet tapping the floor in a frantic rhythm, her heart pumping blood like crazy.
Why couldn't things be like in the movies, where she could just have a camera filming everything that was going on in that room?
How was it going? How were you? And how was the baby? GOD, WAS THE BABY OKAY?
The movements of her feet accelerated even more and she felt the touch of a hand resting very cautiously on her knee.
"Stop doing that, you're looking like a maniac!", Hyejoo's voice, impatient and at the same time anxious, sounded beside Jungeun.
"I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.", she replied in a low voice, sweat forming on the corner of her forehead.
A huge, vibrant smile appeared in the blonde's vision and warm hands took hers, that were cold, in an affectionate squeeze. Jiwoo.
"How about if we go get something to eat? I'm sure there must be anything good in these machines full of food.”, said her longtime friend.
With a nod and letting Jiwoo guide her, Jungeun was pulled by the arm to a vending machine in the corner of the waiting room. While, in her mind, Jungeun was pulled for a few moments before what would be the greatest moment of her life (along with her wedding day, of course).
8 AM, same day
"Christ! It’s like I'm about to explode!", you said, putting your hand on your belly and feeling a twinge in your back.
"A beautiful, healthy child is going to appear from this explosion...", Jungeun started to speak, slowly approaching the bed, leaning on one knee and then the other. "And this child is very...", her hands landed on your belly, one of them over your right hand. "... very loved!"
"And we haven't even thought about the name of this beloved child yet."
You looked at her with a disapproving gaze.
"I don't want to decide anything right now because I think it will be more exciting to take this important decision when the time comes.", Jungeun shrugged without looking at you, she was very busy stroking your belly button.
"Maybe if you just let me..."
"Don't even think about it. This baby is mine too, you know?", the irritated tone disappeared from Jungeun's voice when her eyes met the playful glow of yours. She smiled.
"You know I would never make a decision like that without you, right?"
She nodded and lifted her body so she could kiss you, but there was a huge belly between the two of you - with a baby on the way in - and you started to laugh.
"Ahhhh!! So close yet so far!", dramatized Jungeun, as she lay down beside you and kissed your forehead and then your lips. "Now, close enough."
10 PM, the day before
"I still can't believe you chose this crackhead to be our baby's godmother...", you whispered to Jungeun, leaning on the doorframe while watching Jiwoo dancing some children's music and doing a super choreography in front of a camera.
Jungeun smiled at you.
"It's not like you didn't say 'oh, babe, I would never forgive you if I didn't choose Jiwoo to be our baby’s godmother', right?"
All the girls were there, they decided to have the first “Girls’ Pajama Party with the Baby” even before the baby was born. Not that you didn't love the idea, but to see Jiwoo carrying that camera everywhere was hilarious. You wouldn't miss an opportunity to make fun of it.
"You have to understand that I have hormones. Many! And they are crazy running back and forth, telling me what to do all the time! It's not like everything I say is valid while pregnant. Plus: I didn’t know she would do this Good Luck Charlie sort of thing."
With a mischievous look, Jungeun brought her face close to yours, smiling like a mischievous child.
"So it means that I am right deciding that the baby's one-year birthday should be Taeyeon-themed."
You gave her an angry look.
"I've been carrying our beautiful baby for nine months. If it were to honor someone on their one-year anniversary, it should be me."
A warm laugh from the bottom of Jungeun's heart filled your ears. She came over and wrapped her right arm around your waist while her left hand was over your protruding belly. None of you had reached such a full level of happiness like this before.
"Don't worry... Taeyeon won't be a party theme, I promise." she kissed your face. "It's so easy to annoy you lately. But there's no need to worry. The one-year anniversary theme will be Harry Potter, anyways."
You rolled your eyes trying to hide a smile. Jungeun noticed it. She always did. She smiled back and stroked your belly once more. It was difficult to know which of you two was most anxious for the family to be finally complete.
5 months ago
"Come on, say something very beautiful and with enough meaning, because then I will edit with a ballad song in the background."
Jiwoo was pointing the camera at you, whose lips were covered with doritos crumbs and ice cream, while Jungeun held up a jar of that same ice cream that you dipped the spoon from time to time.
"I can only think of how bizarre these mixtures become each month, I have no idea what beautiful things I can say.", Jungeun spoke while giving you a judgmental look. “I can’t believe my baby is eating… this.”
"Just say my name, so you will say one of the most beautiful things in the world.", you replied, raising your eyebrows as you dipped the tip of the doritos in the pistachio green and put it whole in your mouth.
"Grooooooss.", Jiwoo hummed as she turned the camera to her face. "I hope you don't have to deal with this often."
You two were at Heejin's apartment, decided to stop by as you were walking around the neighborhood looking for that ice cream flavor. Yeojin and Jiwoo went to meet you. This was yet another visit for the future "aunts" of the baby to come.
"I will definitely deal with them to keep you safe." Yeojin noted, beside Jiwoo and staring at the camera.
"Don't worry. We will protect you from anything that might negatively affect you, even if it means taking you away from these delinquents' arms." Heejin said, joining the other two.
"An army against us?", Jungeun asked as you put one of those doritos in her mouth.
They giggled. Another scene for the baby's life documentary, directed exclusively by Kim Jiwoo.
7 months ago
"Well... maybe we should... maybe we should buy baby things? Or set up the baby's room?", You suggested, astonished by the news that, finally, you were going to have a baby.
With the results of the exam in hands, Jungeun was very quiet on the way home. Parking the car in the garage of the building where you lived together, you waited for an answer to your questions.
Pregnant? Who knew you would be pregnant? Well, it was your dream two months ago. You both decided to make this dream come true. But it was a short while ago, actually. And you were not expecting a positive response so quickly. On the first try? Wow! This was really fast.
You noticed Jungeun's trembling hands and, now that you were pregnant, you would have a child of both of you, increasing the "family with our shape" because it's gonna be "the personification of your love", as the blonde said a few times. You wondered if she regretted it. After all, it would affect both your lives on a large scale, even though it was, at the moment, no more than the size of a bean.
"Look, I... I understand if you don't want to say anything. I will respect your space, but I thought it was our decision and..."
"Could you excuse me for a moment?", Jungeun said, in a whispering voice, and getting out of the car.
You understood that you shouldn't go after her and you were left with no reaction to her words. Meanwhile, outside the car, in the light of the vehicle's white headlights, the blonde of exuberant beauty and small body read the exam again, a growing smile on the pink lips that you loved to kiss so much.
Suddenly, to your shock, she let out a cry mixed with laughter and jumped in the air. It was as if, there, in that deserted garage and with you in the car, there was a space where Jungeun could celebrate it with vivacity. She was just so full of joy!
She was just as happy as you are, obviously! She just needed to find a place to outsource it, a moment when she could be free, a place where she could celebrate it!
Jungeun's hands held the test results as if they were holding the most precious thing in her life. And, somehow, it was.
You flashed the headlights in sync with her leaps and, watching her body turn to the car, her dark brown eyes staring into the glass, you knew what she would say and you both said at the same time, in a whisper only your hearts could hear.
"I love you."
Back to Present – 3 AM
Keeping a packet of m&m's in her jacket pocket, saving it for you to eat later, Jungeun finished eating a strawberry cereal bar, chewing slowly as the girls entered into a conversation to try to calm their spirits. In fact, everyone there was looking forward to you and the baby being well and being able to receive visitors as soon as possible.
Jinsoul told a story of her adolescence and the girls highlighted some parts, asked a few things and laughed. But Jungeun's mind was just a few feet from that waiting room.
Were you in pain? Was the baby finding the way out safely? Was the baby healthy? Were you okay?
She had no way of knowing. She went to the bathroom, the girls followed the blonde head with concern as she crossed the room to the door with a blue sign written "toilet".
When closing the door already inside the bathroom, every sound coming from outside was isolated. Jungeun turned the tap on and felt the cascade of water flowing through her fingers, finding some calm with that, since the only person who could give her the biggest amount of peace was in labor.
She washed her face and dried it with paper, stared at her reflection and realized she was pale. She would only regain color when she could finally see you and the baby.
She put her hand on the door handle again, turning it, and when she closed the door behind her, she noticed that all the girls were standing, staring at the beginning of the corridor. Her face turned in the same direction, where a nurse was standing still, noticed the movement of the woman's lips and the signal for her to follow her on a path. That woman would take Jungeun's to where her heart belonged.
"I wish you were with me... with us at the moment…", you whispered.
"The nurses didn't let me in, babe, but I'm here now..."
Jungeun was almost crouched beside the bed, her face close to yours. She reached up and stroked your cheekbones, touching your forehead with hers.
“How was it?”, she asked.
“It was like I was shitting a coconut.”
Her throat exploded with a pleasurable laugh, making you laugh along, even though you felt a lot of pain in your entire body. Tiredness was overwhelming you, but not enough to see your baby again.
"I only saw our baby for about 5 seconds and I was barely able to see that little face before they did the cleaning and exams."
Your voice was a whisper and Jungeun shook her head, as if she told you not to worry about it, and then she gave you a peck.
When the nurse came into the room and placed the baby in your arms, Jungeun was already crying. She never thought that your love could take on a human shape, so small, fragile and beautiful.
"Oh, God... I love you both so much..." she said, letting those strong tears run down her clean face as she bent down to kiss the top of the baby's head very gently.
That little body, with small hands, gripped her finger firmly and you knew that you would not let anything in the world do anything to destroy that purity. Jungeun felt the same way. Somehow, you knew that. You felt that. Perhaps because you had known her for a long time. Perhaps it was because of love. But you did knew. And she also knew that, whatever happened, her family would always be the homewhere your hearts could rest.
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starrywhump · 3 years
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Ok whump idea with a little comfort mixed in, hope y’all enjoy!
CW: consensual nsfw(making out that is quickly over), swearing.
The whumpee rolled over in their bed, throwing their blanket down to their feet. 
 It was too hot, sweat stuck to their hair and face. 
They reached out, blindly grabbing for their phone on their bed side table. The bright light from their device made the whumpee squint.  It was only 10:17. 
A few text notifications shone on the screen, the whumpee ignored them, just as they had every text they had got over the last week.  
They were all the same, some variant of:
Hey how are you doing?
Are you doing ok?
I’m here if you need to talk.
Every single one a reminder of everything the whumpee did not want to think of right now. 
They dropped their phone, nothing on there was going to make them feel any better. 
With a groan they pushed themself off their bed, their body was sore. They were still dressed from the day before, jeans and and a grey sweatshirt. 
The whumpee’s head swam as they stood, they ignored it, walking out into the hall, leaning against the wall to make their way to the living room.
They stumbled over to their couch, collapsing down onto the soft seat.  Next to them lay a half finished bottle of whisky, just where they left it earlier that evening.  It was about 6, they thought, when they had put it down.  The nice calm it had brought them earlier had faded.  Painful memories started to edge back into their mind. 
“What a pretty little thing you are.”
“n-no pl-lease...”
“Oh little thing-”
“NO!” The whumpee yelled, shooting up from the couch.  They panted softly, having to convince themselves they were just in their living room.
Reaching back they grabbed the whisky and opened it quickly.  They took a long drink, relishing the warm burn that radiated through their chest. 
Their head was still too loud.  It was too quiet in their apartment to drown it out.  They had to get out.
**********
“What can I get you?”
“Anything, you chose. Just make it strong,”
The whumpee had never been much of a drinker, not until recently that is.
The bartender nodded, turning to make the whumpee’s drink. 
The whumpee frowned, trying to focus on the clinking of glasses, the music in the bar, anything that could occupy the space in their mind.
The whumpee’s drink was in front of them, they didn’t remember the bartender setting it there. 
They took it and drank it quickly, barely even testing whatever it was.
“That was fast, can I get your next one?”  A handsome stranger settled in the seat next to the whumpee.
The whumpee raised an eyebrow, they didn’t really want to talk, but a distraction would be nice, “I won’t say no to a free drink.”
The stranger waved to the bartender and another bourbon was placed in front of the whumpee. The whumpee didn’t drink it yet, their head was already feeling pretty cloudy.  
“So what brings you here?”
The whumpee raised an eyebrow, “well it’s a bar so alcohol I guess,” The whumpee glossed over the true meaning for their outing. 
The stranger smiled, the whumpee couldn’t help but joining them.  They had a warm air about them that drew the whumpee in.  
“So you’re a smart ass?” The stranger teased.
The whumpee smirked, “On occasion.” 
They felt a rush they had almost forgotten about.  A normal feeling, normal people get.  Just flirting with someone in a bar, not talking about their feelings, not dealing with the shit they have been through.  It was intoxicating. 
The stranger went to introduce themselves, “I’m-”
“Wait,” the whumpee paused downing their bourbon, “I don’t want to know.  Tell me if I’m misreading here but what if instead of small talk,” they turned to look at the stranger, meeting their eyes for the first time, “we went back to your place.”
The stranger’s confident air broke for a moment, a blush colored their face. They nodded, “sounds good to me.” 
**********
A part of the whumpee knew this was a bad idea.  They doubted that sleeping with someone you found in a bar was high up on the list of recommended strategies to cope with trauma.
But it was hard to care while they were pushed up against the back of a front door, enlocked in a passionate kiss with their handsome stranger.  
Being extremely drunk helped to ease any remaining doubts. 
The stranger’s hands roamed the whumpee’s body, skimming under their shirt.
“Can I take this off?”  
The whumpee barely registered the question before they were nodding.  
There shirt went up over their head, lips moved down to their neck, hands moved over their stomach. 
The whumpee gazed forward, letting things be done to them as their newest acquaintance wanted to. 
It didn’t feel as nice as the whumpee remembered, but it was a distraction, and that was good. 
At least it was a normal thing to do, where no one was going to handle them like a child, asking them if they were ok every other minute. 
“Hey are you ok?”
Scratch that last bit.
The whumpee perked up taking a breath, they realized they had basically gone limp in the other’s arms, “yes!  Yes, I’m good,” the whumpee leaned their head forward to capture the strangers lips in another kiss, “keep going.”
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to, really,” they looked concerned.
That was the last thing the whumpee wanted, they didn’t need anyone else to pity them. 
“I want to, really, keep going.”
The stranger smiled, they head moved back down to the whumpee’s neck.
The world seemed to blur a bit, it looked darker than before. 
A hand trailed down the whumpee’s arm, the skin felt rougher than before, the hand closed around the whumpee’s wrist.  Their wrist was moved up above their head and pinned there.  
Their heart skipped a beat.  The whumpee told themself that it was in a good way, the way the heart of a normal person would normally skip a beat in this kind of situation.
It was hard to try and excuse away the dread in their stomach as butterflies. 
Their breath was heavy because of the beautiful person currently locked onto their body, that’s what they told themselves.
“You’re crying.”
The movement had stopped, how long their stranger had just been staring at them the whumpee didn’t know.  
Worry was etched into the others face. 
“S-sorry,” the whumpee whispered breathlessly. 
“No, hey don’t be sorry it’s ok.”
Those kind words hurt more than any ones meant to inflict pain.  Tears flowed faster down the whumpee’s cheeks.  They couldn’t catch their breath.  They felt trapped. 
Their blurred vision turned to complete darkness. 
The whumpee tried to blink it away.
Hands moved over them, restraining them in their arms.  Their eyes cleared to see the whumper in front of them, grinning, holding them close. 
“NO!” 
“Are- hey it’s ok, it’s ok,” a soothing voice cut through the darkness. 
The whumpee blinked hard, panting as they tried to understand what was real and what was their brain pulling tricks on them. 
When they opened their eyes again the whumper was mercifully gone.  But the panic wasn’t.
Humiliation washed over them as they met the eyes of their attempted one-night stand. 
“You fell down, fainted or- something. Are- are you ok?  I thought it was ok, I’m so sorry if I- if I did something wrong.”
The whumpee tried to listen to their kind words, it was hard to take it in, they couldn’t breathe. 
The hands on them felt suffocating, one on each shoulder.  Their intent was probably just to keep them from collapsing fully to the ground but they were just added on to their trapped feeling. 
“Do- do you want some tea?  Or something?  Water?”
The whumpee didn’t care about tea, just wanted them to stop touching them.  But since they weren’t really sure how to make their voice work right now, they gave a jerky nod, hoping the stranger would leave to get it. 
“Ok- uh I’ll up just get you both, uh stay here, just a sec.”
The hands finally left the whumpee, they felt like they could breathe a little easier. 
Footsteps faded off in a different direction.
The whumpee took deep breaths, trying to convince themselves they were ok. 
In.
Out.
In.
Out
In...
The whumpee’s vision cleared up a bit, they looked around the room they were in.  Focusing on the green flower vase in the corner, the brown door, white walls, they began to calm down.
As soon as the initial panic of the moment had subsided the whumpee was hit with another massive wave of humiliation. 
“Jesus Christ...” they muttered to themselves. 
This was a complete stranger and they just completely freaked out on them.  This was meant to be their first day of normalcy and they had gone and fucked it up, just another reminder that they were never going to be normal.  Couldn’t just enjoy a simple fucking one night stand, no they had to have a full on panic attack.
“Can you do one fucking thing right,” the whumpee scowled, angry at themselves. 
Tears pricked at the side of their eyes, threatening to fall again.  The whumpee quickly wiped them away, there was no way they were crying again no matter how embarrassed they were. 
They looked longingly towards the door, thinking of maybe making a quick exit to try and preserve what little dignity they had left.
“You wanna come, uh... sit on the couch?” their was the whumpee’s stranger, holding a mug in one hand and a glass of water in the other.
The whumpee stood up shakily.
“I... I think I’m just gonna head home, I uh, sorry.  So sorry about uh, all that.”
“No there’s no need to apologize!  I’m the one who should be sorry, I really didn’t mean to do anything that would-”
“You didn’t really, it’s just uh, my own shit.  So um I’m just gonna go-”
The stranger placed their handful of beverages down on the side table by the green vase the whumpee had been paying too much attention to earlier. 
“Aren’t you uh, drunk, and... I mean, are you sure that’s the safest idea?”
“I’m fine, I don’t live too far and I’m not gonna drive. I walked to the bar, I can get back to my house,” it was going to be a pretty long walk but the whumpee couldn’t spend a second longer here. 
“Can I at least call you an uber?” That worried look was back on the stranger’s face.
“Oh no really it’s-”
“Please, I insist, call it my apology for tonight.  Besides I put all this work into this cup of tea, it would be a shame to waste it.”
The whumpee didn’t respond, honestly they would love to be driven home, they were tired and, very drunk.
“Please?” The stranger smiled.
“O-ok, thank you.”
“It’s no problem really!  Want that tea now?”
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rhinotheamazing · 3 years
Text
One side, Two lives
Chapter ten
Is he ok?
First Previous Next
Warnings: slight gore, panicked attack, and mention of eating disorder
Where the heck am I?  Virgil thought as he took in his surroundings. He couldn’t see anything except himself, as I he was standing in a pit of nothingness. He tried to to walk around but the blackness seemed to go on forever so he started to panic. Where a I? How do I get out of here? Where are the others?! Are they here two? I have to find them!
           Suddenly the anxious side heard a scream from behind him in the darkness. That sounds like Roman! He thought. He turned around and there stood Roman, on his knees and grasping at his stomach which confused the other side. Why is he grabbing at his stomach? Never mind I need to get his attention.
“Roman!” Virgil shouted to the other, but the prince didn’t acknowledge him, he didn’t even seem to hear him. This in no way helped Virgils anxiety.
“Roman! Princy can you hear me!” He shouted again, but just like before the creative side didn’t seem to even know he was there. Out of no where Virgil heard a dark chuckle.
He turned his gaze away from the prince and towards the noise. The shape of a person had materialized from the darkness, glimmering in a golden light and having what seemed to be a cape dragging behind him. The whatever it was approached Roman’s fallen from, laughing the whole time.
“You see? Your nothing but a weakling, and theres no place for anything like that here.” Virgil watched in terror as the person drew a sword and used it to tilt Roman’s head up to look at him. The side had tears running down his face and blood leaking from his mouth. Why is he crying? Why is he bleeding!? Virgil thought.
He looked back down to the prince’s hand and saw that the normally pure white outfit was now stained in blood, the red liquid was still spreading rapidly. Virgils eyes grew wide with horror. The golden being ‘tsk’ at the downed side and kicked him in the stomach making him cough up blood. No! Stop! You’re going to kill him! That’s what Virgil wanted to say, but as soon as he tried to scream black tendrils wrapped around his mouth and kept him quite.
Never the less the anxious side tried to run forward to stop everything but he couldn’t. He looked down and his feet where somehow stuck to the ground. He tried to pull himself free but it became clear that it was no use. He looked back at the scene in front of him and saw the figure start to raise his sword.
“You really are worthless. You’re just a pathetic excuse for a side, a useless nothing, and you’re especially no hero.” As the thing said that, it swung it sword down.
“ROMAN!”
           Virgil jolted up from his bed, his hand outstretched like he was trying to reach for something. His forehead was covered in sweat and he was sure that if he looked in a mirror his face would be whiter than a ghost’s. He brought his hand to his chest and he found his heart was beating faster than he thought it ever had. Virgil took a deep sigh and tried to calm down, it didn’t work very well. He looked over at his clock and saw that it was around 3 in the morning.
           What the heck was that? Virgil wondered to himself. He couldn’t remember much of his nightmare but he remembered that he was more scared than he had ever been in his life. Just trying to remember what happened made the side start hyperventilating. Ok. I need to calm down or else I might give Thomas a panic attack. Virgil started taking deep breaths and began to calm down as he repeated his 4 ,7, 8 breathing exercise.
           Once he was calmed downed he realized that he probably wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep for a while and flopped back onto his bed in frustration. The one night I actually tried to get more sleep. Just great. The side pulled out his phone from under his pillow and grabbed his headphones from his bed side table. This wasn’t the first time he was woken up by nightmares, but this time had definitely been the worst.
           He put on his headphones and picked up his phone. He went though a few different playlist before he finally settle on just clicking shuffle on My Chemical Romance. He ended up on Mama and smiled. This song was slightly calmer than most of the groups songs. He went to tumbler and started scrolling though it, humming the lyrics as he looked at post. After about an hour of looking at memes and funny videos Virgil found himself starting to dose off, the residents of the nightmare going to the back of his mind.
           When Virgil woke up it was too Patton calling him down for breakfast. He groaned as he got out of bed and change into his usual style. He pulled on his signature jacket as he went out the door even though he knew that it was crazy to wear a jacket on almost any day in Florida. Virgil walked down the long hallway eyeing every corner suspiciously in case Remus decided to just pop up or something. Because of this he wasn’t looking where he was going and ran straight into someone’s back and fell down.
           “Virgil? Are you ok” a familiar voice said. The anxious side looked up and saw that it was non other than Roman who he just happened to run into. The memories of his dream flashed in his mind and he looked at Romans stomach glad to see that there was no kind off blood staining on the t-shirt he was wearing. He shook his head a bit to clear the image of the fallen prince in his mind.
“Yah, I’m fine Princy.” Virgil said. Roman extended his hand to Virgil and pulled him up.
“You need to watch where your going, wouldn’t want you falling down the stairs or something.” Roman said with a chuckle.  The smaller side smiled softly at the sound but pretended to cough into his sleeve when Roman looked back at him.
           “Kiddos! Come get your breakfast before it gets old!” That had snapped Virgil out of his embarrassed fake coughing fit and the two started heading towards the kitchen. When they entered they found Logan at the table reading a comic book? Roman turned to Virgil and raised an eyebrow in question. The anxious side shrugged and went to go sit down at the table. He took a closer look at the cover and saw that it was a horror comic and that only confused him more.
“What are you reading Lo? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you pick up a comic book before” Virgil asked. Logan finally looked up from his book and he seemed kinda embarrassed.
“Well um, technically it’s a graphic novel and uh Remus asked me to read it over for him.” Logan said while he adjusted his glasses, and if Virgil wasn’t mistaken, he was ever so slightly blushing. As the gears in his head spun the smaller side started to smirk. It definitely seems like this guy has a crush Remus. Although it may not look it, Virgil didn’t actually hate the duke. They in no way got along, and Virgil didn’t trust the creative side as far as he could though him, but he didn’t necessarily hate the gremlin of a man.
           So, with this in mind, the mischievous raccoon in a jacket decided that as long as he was here, he might as well mess with people.
“I didn’t know you and Remus where such good friends.” Roman, who had sat down after getting a plate of food for himself from the kitchen, tried his absolute hardest not to burst out laughing as Logan stuttered and rambled to try and explain himself.
“He simply assisted me in conducting some research the other day and I wanted to return the kind favor.” Once more the prince and emo character shared a look. Virgil decided that was enough teasing for now. You have to spread out the torture to make it effective after all. So instead of continuing to make fun of his friend he decided he should finally grab some breakfast.
“Whatever you say Lo.” The former dark side walked into the kitchen to see Patton serving up a plate that he assumed was for Logan.
Today Patton had made some scrambled eggs, a few links of sausages, and some toast he was currently adding crafters jam to. Patton turned around to face his dark strange son and smiled widely.
“Hey kiddo! I made a plate for you if that’s alright. If theres anything you want to change about it go right ahead!” The fatherly side said in his usual cheerful tone. Unfortunate this kinda made the smaller of the two freak out a bit.
What if I don’t like whats on the plate? I can’t just mess with it Patton already put in the work to make the food and if I put any of it back it will look like I don’t like his cooking which of course into true but what if he thinks that? Luckily his worries were put to rest when he saw his plate had equal proportions of everything just how he liked it. He breathed a sigh of relief and went to go sit back down with the others.
When he got back to table Roman and Logan were arguing about some sort of play but the conversation was now going too fast for Virgil to actually pay attention to it.
“Don’t you dare say Hamilton wasn’t a good musical in my presence!”
“I’m just saying its historically inaccurate! For one thing the Skylar sisters did have an older brother so the part in the musical where Angelica sings about having to bring the family glory is false. Also she was already wed to a man before she met Alexander so she couldn’t marry him if even if she wanted to.” Logan reasoned in his calm yet frustrated ‘everyone-is-being-an-idiot-except-for-me’ tone of voice.
“Of course it isn’t entirely accurate to the real character. In theater you have to add a bit of drama to express the characters feeling in the scene better!” The royal side tried to explain while he waved his arm around in the air, surprisingly not hitting anything or anyone. Luckily before the two could continue Patton walked into the room carrying both his and Logan’s plate.
“Ok kiddos I think thats enough arguing for now, go ahead and eat instead of bickering please.” Patton said in a hopeful voice.  The two sides grumbled a bit to themselves but did start eating . Virgil looked over at Romans plate and saw that he once again had a lot less food on his plate than the rest of them. He had about two mouthfuls of eggs on his plate, one small sausage and half of a jam covered toast.
Doesn’t he need to eat more than the rest off us? I mean he goes adventuring all the time so he probably burns all the calories he gets from the meals Patton makes. Virgil pondered all this while he ate. If he was being honest he didn’t think he had ever seen Roman get seconds unless people insisted on it. Thats kinda concerning, what if he isn’t eating right because off stress? But why would Princy be stressed he’s the living personification of having a dreamy good life. Could something be wrong and we just haven’t noticed it yet?is he ok? Luckily he was broken from his thoughts as someone called his name.
“Virgil? Are you ok? You’ve been so pacing out for a while now, everything alright?” Roman said as he put a comforting hand on the anxious sides shoulder. Virgil gave the royal a small smile and took a deep breath. I’m just overthinking things. Roman’s fine, he would have come to us if he had a problem.
“Yah I’m fine Princy, just got lost in thought that’s all.” The creative side smiled at that and went back to eating his small plate of food.
           After everyone was done with breakfast they all went back to their own rooms, Logan still reading the graphic novel as he walked. Once Virgil got to his room he threw himself onto his extremely messy bed and was about to pull up something to watch on YouTube when he heard a knock on his door.
           What the, I was just with everyone, if they needed to ask me something wouldn’t they have asked me then? The purple side sighed and got up to open the door, only to find the hallway completely empty?
“Um, ok, anyone there?” Virgil said while he stuck his head out the doorway.
“Yup! I’m right here!” A choice shouted from behind him.
“Ahhh!” The smaller side screeched and accidentally slammed the door shut. There now sitting on his bed kicking his feet, was Remus. He wasn’t wearing his usual outfit for videos but instead a ripped up tank to and some black sweatpants.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” The anxious side said in an accusing tone.
“I was bored and decided that I might as well annoy you for a while.” The taller of the two said with a shrug.
Virgil groaned and destroyed any hope of having a peaceful day from his mind.
“Why in the world did you knock? You haven’t had any real manners since we were kids.” The purple clad side said as he sat down on a beanbag that he had in the corner. The duke shrugged.
“It was part of my grand plan to distract you so that I could scare you even better.” The insane side said with a sharp tooth smile. Before Virgil could make a retort the door burst opened. There stood Princy in a t-shirt and shorts, his hair looking slightly disheveled and with a sword in hand. He for some reason also looked a bit bigger than normal but Virgil discarded the thought as the lighting being weird.
           “Virgil! What’s wrong! What do I need to fight!” The red side exclaimed.
“Hey Ro! I just scared emo over here and he screamed like I had ripped out his guts or something.” The duke said as he threw his arm around his brother. Virgil was kinda surprised. Last time he had seen the twins interact Roman was out cold in seconds but now they were talking like they were best friends. Well I guess they are siblings after all. The smallest in the room said.
“Oh, ok then. Virgil do you need any assistance?” Roman asked. The former dark side thought for a minute and figured that he could handle Remus by himself, he had enough experience dealing with his craziness growing up.
“Yah Romano I’ll be fine.” Virgil said with a wave. Roman nodded but not without a sigh at the nick name and walked out.
“Oh but before I go,” the prince turned around and glared and the both of them, “if you two kill each other I will find a way to somehow resurrect you and get you both scolded by Patton.” And with that Roman left with a royal wave. The two remaining sides gave each other a look, Virgil’s one of distrust and Remus’s one of mischief.
“Sooooo,” Remus said as he jumped back onto the bed, “you like my brother huh?”  Virgil’s face turned bright red.
“I-I don’t know what your talking about!” The now highly nervous side shouted.  This only made the duke chortle.
“Chill out, I’m not gonna tell him, it will be a lot more fun that way.” Remus said with a grin. The hoodie wearing side breathed a sigh of relief.
“However you now owe me a favor.” The dark side said. Virgil grumbled to himself but agreed and asked what the favor was. The royal smiled widely.
“You have to help me beat Deceit’s high score in Mario cart.” The anxious side was surprised at first but then smirked.
“Sure, I’m not going to pass up the chance to piss off the snake.” The smaller jumped onto the bed as Remus summoned his switch that was nearly covered in stickers except for the screen.
           After a few rounds of Mario cart Virgil still hadn’t won once and he was getting annoyed, especially since Remus wouldn’t stop saying how he was the ultimate champion of this game. In this round they where nearing the finish line and Virgil was in second place while Remus was in first. He had dodged all of the shells Virgil had thrown at him but he still had one more.
There’s no way I’m letting this rat man beat me again. Suddenly Virgil had an idea and a dark smile formed on his face.
“So Remus,” the purple side said as he lined up the shot, “how did your date with Logan go?”
“What?!” Remus was so surprised that Virgil somehow knew about his sorta kinda date with Logan that he fell off the bed. Meanwhile Virgil threw a green shell at him and finished in first.
“Yes!” The smaller side exclaimed.
           “How in this wide terribly gruesome world did you find out about that?” Remus said from the floor. Virgil shrugged.
“Logan said that you helped him with some research or something while blushing so I figured you actually took him on a date.” The emo said while he leaned back on his pillow. He looked over at Remus who was now sitting on the bean bag looking slightly startled.
“Well I didn’t technically ask him on a date, I just offered to take him and give him a tour of the imagination.” The duke said while he messed with his white streak of hair. “I haven’t actually told him that I like him.” Virgil was surprised that Remus looked actually embarrassed saying this.
“I never thought I would see the day that you were nervous.” Virgil said honestly. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Logan if you aren’t ready to tell him.” Remus gave him an incredulous look and started laughing like a mad man which slightly scared the smaller side. He suddenly stoped and got up.
           “Thanks emo, I got to go or else De is going to get mad at me.” While the dark side walked to the door he messed up the purple wearing side’s hair until it defied gravity. “Wanna help me beat the record tomorrow since that slippery snake has such a freaking high score that we couldn’t beat it today?” The crazy side asked.
“Sure.” Virgil said, surprising even himself.
“Cool! Se yah tomorrow emo.” Remus said as he slammed the door loudly. The anxious side relaxed on his bed with a sigh. Even when just hanging out with the others being social was exhausting for him. He remembered that Thomas had some sort of event for tomorrow but Virgil doubted that he would need him for anything. As he was starting to drift off to sleep for a nap he had one last thought. Isn’t the wedding tomorrow?
Well I hope everyone if ready for some angst to come. Hope you guys have a good next 24 hours, bye!
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@lovelivingmydreams
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queenk00k · 4 years
Text
but what if we were pure gold all along? chapter 2
Summary:  Set immediately after the Season 1 finale. JJ finds a way to cope when he feels like he has no one, and finds someone unexpected to enable him.
READ THE PROLOGUE HERE
Chapter 2: the one where pogue promises are bullshit
NOTES: hi here’s the first proper chapter of my fic!!! pls let me know if you enjoy it or not & know that whilst i’m working on this, fic requests are open <3 
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“You mean she can’t hang out with us at all?” JJ asks Pope over cereal late the next morning. It feels almost insulting to John B to be doing something so irritatingly normal but hey, a boy’s gotta eat and he sure as shit won’t be getting breakfast at home.
“Nope. Parents got her on lockdown,” Pope answers solemnly. “They freaked out after the whole running from the cops thing. Not to mention, they’re not keen on Kie ending up like…” Pope trails off as JJ looks up at him sharply.
“They could still be alive man. We don’t know.”
JJ’s sure Pope looks at him with pity as he replies, “Maybe. But I mean, JJ, the Phantom in that storm…Shoupe said it himself, they took an open boat into a tropical depression. I just don’t see how they could still be a-alive.” Pope chokes on the word alive as if it were poison and he sucks in a deep breath as tears fall down his cheeks and JJ can’t take it anymore. He pushes back his chair, the metal legs scraping against the floorboards as JJ rises from the table abruptly.
“I’m going out,” he says as he feels the walls closing in and he just needs to get outside before its too overwhelming and goddamnit he’s sick of crying, will it stop sometime soon?
“JJ-“ Pope starts to rise from his chair but JJ waves a hand at him to sit back down, not looking directly at Pope in case, God forbid, he sees just how broken JJ feels.
“Nah man, it’s fine. I just need some weed. I’ll see you later.”
And with that, JJ makes his way out the front door alone, his feet heavy and his heart heavier still.
JJ’s been staying at Pope’s house for a week now and he can’t help but think he’s the only one struggling. He still hasn’t seen or spoken to Kie who, according to Pope, is still on strict lockdown, and Pope has thrown himself into studying and finding loopholes for other scholarships that would let him interview. This leaves JJ with not much to do but wander aimlessly, not going too far just in case his dad decides to come looking for him.
Pope joins him on the back porch one night where, despite strict orders from Heyward to not get up to any mischief in his house, JJ is surreptitiously pulling on a joint, the smoke curling outwards into the un-seasonally cool evening.  
“Mind if I take a hit?”
Lost in his thoughts, JJ jumps at the unexpected interruption. “Shit man, you scared me. Sorry, I know your dad said not to get up to anything but I just feel like garbage and –“
“Nah, I know. I get it. Pass it here,” Pope replies, sitting down next to JJ on the worn steps. JJ passes him the blunt, the corner of his eyes crinkling in a rare smile.
“Coming back to the dark side, are you?” After Pope’s outburst around the time John B and Sarah went missing, he vowed not to get like that again.
Pope coughed as he blew out the smoke. “Ha, no. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
JJ takes the used stub and crushes it under his boot. “Uh oh. That’s never good.”
“It’s fine. More than fine. They’re letting me interview for the scholarship position again.”
“You’re kidding. Bro, that’s awesome,” JJ replies sincerely, clapping his calloused hand on Pope’s shoulder. “I mean it. Good for you. How did you manage to convince them?’
Pope smiles at him. “I told them about John B and Sarah. They figured two friends going missing at sea counted as ‘extenuating circumstances’.”
“Extenuating?”
“Means they agree it was fucked up and they’re letting me off the hook.”
“Hmm. Well, that’s great man.” JJ smiles. “Why did you want to talk to me about it this way?”
Pope sighs. “I’m just preparing you. I’m gonna be pretty busy trying to figure out how to answer their questions. I wanted you to know now so you don’t think I’m trying to ditch you.”
JJ nods solemnly. “I appreciate it. Thanks.”
Pope stares at him for a moment. “Do you think your dad is gonna come looking for you?”
“I don’t think he’ll try anything with your dad around.” JJ scoffs. “I’m pretty sure he was always scared of him.”
Pope nods and before he gets a chance to reply, his phone lights up with a new text and he steals a glance. JJ is sure he looks happy about whatever it was.
“Hey, I gotta head out and pick my dad up. Are you good here?”
“Yeah man, I’ll see you later.”
Pope claps him on the back as he bounds down the steps and in the darkness, leaving JJ alone to battle with his conflicting emotions.
On one hand, he’s overjoyed at the prospect of at least one of them having a decent future, considering his was pretty shot to bits and he had no idea what Kie was thinking, but on the other hand…on the other hand, JJ couldn’t help but feel jealous and a little hurt that Pope had something else to focus on other than the fact that one of his best friends was dead.
JJ remains sitting outside for longer than he realises, contemplating rolling another joint to keep him company and scuffing his boot in the dirt, willing himself to stop feeling so fucking emotional all the time.
-----
After a while, JJ is brought out of his own head a second time as the sound of the front door closing causes him to jerk his head up.
JJ stands and makes his way through the back door, stopping abruptly when he realises he can hear Pope’s parents voices, but not Pope himself.
JJ gets the sinking feeling that Pope was lying to him, and he edges forward to make out what the hushed voices were arguing about.
“….and the longer he’s here, the more danger we’re putting our son in.”
“What do you suggest we do then? You know we can’t let him go back home. That boat was his father’s and I know what Luke is capable of. I’m worried for the boy.”
“He can’t stay here…”
“Last time I checked, Luke was scared shitless of me and-“
“You’re not 30 anymore baby, and he’s unpredictable - he could have a gun. JJ needs to leave, go into foster care or something, but he’s not staying here whilst we risk our family.”
A loud, resigned sigh. “Fine, I’ll talk to the boy.”
JJ’s heart races and he breathes heavily, nostrils flared and hands curled into fists. He turns slowly towards the back door, opening it quietly, praying that Pope’s parents don’t hear him leaving, their words echoing in his ears.
“…the longer he’s here, the more danger we’re putting our son in.”
“He can’t stay here…”
“…he needs to leave…”
JJ kicks the wheelbarrow as he crosses the yard, out of anger or fear he’s not quite sure, and ignores the searing pain in his foot. He was used to feeling like a burden, so why did this hurt so much? He wanted to be angry at Pope’s family, and he figured he was a little bit, but he also understood. He wouldn’t want to put Pope in any more danger than he already had.
JJ rounds the corner and runs straight into Pope, who has the decency to look a bit ashamed of himself. JJ can’t help himself as he narrows his eyes.
“Picking your dad up, huh? What were you really up to?”
Pope opens his mouth to stammer out a response but before he can come up with another excuse, JJ notices something in the glow of the street light.
JJ curses and moves Pope’s collar to reveal a dark purple bruise. Pope’s eyes widen as he steps back, faltering under JJ’s cool gaze.
“Is that a hickey?” JJ manages to ask through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching. “Have you been sneaking off to see Kiara?” JJ’s angry, sure, but he’s also hurt because why doesn’t Kiara want to see him and why is Pope lying to him and why does nobody want him?
Pope clears his throat. “I’m sorry man, we’ve just started going out and she needs me and-“
“You’re going out now?”
“I mean yeah, she did kiss me and everything and it just kind of escalated from there-“
“And what about ‘she needs me?’ What about me, bro? What happened to us Pogues sticking together?”
“JJ, I’m sorry man, Kie’s parents don’t want her seeing you and I don’t want her getting into any more trouble-“
JJ interrupts again as he shoves Pope away from him, his blue eyes icy as he struggles to contain his anger. “Yeah man, whatever, I get it.”
JJ stalks past Pope, muttering “unbelievable” under his breath and heading straight for his bike.
“JJ, please,” Pope starts but JJ holds up a hand to silence him, as he hops on his bike and speeds away without looking back.
Pogues don’t leave each other behind, huh? Bullshit, he thinks as he speeds away.
------
JJ finds his way to The Chateau without even thinking, almost as if muscle memory brought him here. He stops his bike out front and heads inside, smiling tersely at the fondness he feels for the place. When his own home wasn’t safe enough, which was often, he felt most at home here with his friends, stealing food from John B and crashing on the futon after keggers.
His throat burns at the thought of John B, at the thought of the Pogues, at the thought of the fact that Pope’s been screwing Kiara and lying to him about it and why the hell is that their priority right now?
JJ walks slowly down the hallway, noticing how the place has been completely trashed and stripped bare thanks to those square groupers and now the cops. God, all of that seems like centuries ago. How did they manage to end up here?
JJ barely makes it to the back of the house before a familiar voice makes him stop in his tracks and his blood run cold.
“Boy, if you’re in here I swear to God I’m going to kill you!”
JJ gulps.
Looks like dad came looking for me after all.
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mistersshelby · 5 years
Text
the woman assassin | part two
part one | part two
hi!! thank you for reading part one, i hope you enjoy part two!! pls send me any feedback good or bad i like hearing from you! idk when part three will be up bc i’m kinda just fucking around with this but stay tunedddd. -S.
When they walk into his house, she tries to keep the look of awe off her face, taking in how large and grand his home is. She knew he was well off, everyone in Birmingham and even outside knew of the Shelbys… But this? 
A little boy turns a corner and starts running straight towards Tommy, yelling “Daddy!” over and over and for the first time Clara sees a smile stretch across Tommy’s face. He’s quite beautiful when he smiles.
Seconds after Tommy scoops the boy in his arms, a nanny rounds the corner with a baby girl in her arms who also reaches her outstretched hands towards Tommy. Clara has difficulty swallowing her jealousy as she watches him with his children, a hand reflexively coming to her now empty belly.
“Daddy, who’s that?” The boy asks as he looks over Tommy’s shoulder.
“Charles, Ruby, this is Miss Clara, she’ll be staying with us for a bit.” Tommy says, suddenly remembering Clara’s behind him. She warmly smiles and waves at them both.
Tommy, becoming serious again, hands the children back off to their nanny and waits until they’re out of the room to turn to Clara, “You are never to be alone with them, do you understand?” 
Clara stares at him, “Mister Shelby, I would never harm a child.” Tears burn at the back of her eyes as she thinks of her own child, killed before ever having the chance to live.
“I have no reason to believe that and I’ve put my children in danger with my work before. I won’t again and it’s not up for discussion.”
“When will I be here that you wouldn’t be?”
“Tomorrow when I go to discuss the conditions of our agreement with my family.”
“Shouldn’t I be there for that?”
“No. I will speak to you about it once the conditions have been set.”
She snorts, “Well that sounds very inclusive, thanks.”
Tommy stares at her before slipping his hand into his pocket and pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one, neglecting to offer one to Clara, “Mrs. Whitmore, you’ll do well to remember that I’m bringing you into my home generously when I could offer you up to the police who are very good friends of mine, probably for a hefty reward. I know you killed your husband and I know you’ve lied to me about your name and it would not take me long at all to discover what man you actually killed whose name is not Whitmore.”
Clara’s skin has paled significantly, but she doesn’t falter, “Are you threatening me?”
“I’m simply giving you a choice, Mrs. Whitmore. Either you do this my way and politely thank me for my hospitality or I go to the police, do I make myself clear?”
She glares at him, “Crystal, Mister Shelby.”
“Good,” He puts out his cigarette in a nearby ashtray, “I’ll show you to the guest room then.”
***
Clara has been staring at the ceiling of her temporary room for a while now, trying and failing not to think of her past, but with nothing else to do while Tommy’s away, traumatic memories play one after the other like a series of Hollywood films. Except there’s no happy ending.
She was almost drifting off to sleep when there was a loud bang from downstairs. Thinking it sounded like a gunshot, she shot up from bed and ran to the window. She didn’t see anyone outside, but there was another gunshot and now crying from the children Tommy had left in the house. 
She ran to the door of her bedroom, but it was locked from the outside. Swearing, she picked up a heavy metal vase and swung it at the doorknob until it broke and she could swing the door open. There were a couple more gunshots that sounded like they were coming from downstairs. She quickly glanced around the room for something she could use as a weapon and quickly grabbed the fire poker before heading in the direction of the children’s cries.
There was a lot of silence as she traveled to the children’s room and she wondered if she had imagined the whole thing. But the children were still crying, that much was true. Just as she was getting ready to put her guard down, bullets began penetrating the floor beneath her. One grazed her shoe and she tried to dampen the panic that threatened to suffocate her. The children were still crying which meant they were still alive, maybe injured. Where was the damn nanny?
When she went into the children’s room, the nanny was nowhere to be found. Just little Charles cradling Ruby to his chest in an attempt to calm her though his own face was stained with tears.
“Come, little one. I’m gonna get you both out of here.” Clara coaxed with her hand.
“Where’s daddy?” He asked miserably.
“He’ll be back soon.” She promised, “I’ll take you to him.”
“I don’t think you’ll be going anywhere, little lady.” A burly voice said behind her. Clara reacted immediately, spinning and swinging the fire poker blindly. The quickness of her attack knocked her assailant off guard and off balance which gave her time to knock the gun out of his hand. She kicked him to the floor for good measure before scooping up the gun and pointing it at his head. She could hear Charles whimpering quietly behind her as Ruby wailed.
“I don’t want to blow your brains off in front of the children,” Clara cocked the gun, “But I will if I have to. You have five seconds to get out of my sight.”
The man had his hands up and seemed to be shaking with fear, “Please—“
“One—“
“I— I have a family.”
“Then you better start running home to them, two.” He scrambled to his feet, stumbling. “Three.” He looks over his shoulder at her still raised gun as he stumbles away, “Four.” The man practically falls down the stairs and Clara sighs, this is absolutely pathetic. “Five.” She hears the door downstairs swing open and shut. Walking over to the window of the children’s room, she sees him running away from the house, looking over his shoulder every now and then to see if she’s followed. She uncocks the gun and sticks it in her boot before turning to the children. “Come now, let’s go find your father.”
“We don’t know you. Daddy said not to go anywhere with strangers.”
Clara smiled and kneeled down so that she was eye level with the boy, “That’s very smart of your Daddy, you can’t trust anyone these days. But do you think your Daddy would let a stranger stay in your home? I’m no stranger, love. Promise. Wouldn’t dream of hurting you. I just want to take you to your Dad, okay?”
Charles seems to consider this for a moment, looking from Ruby to Clara a few times before nodding. “Splendid. Let’s go get a car.”
“You know how to drive? I didn’t know women could drive.” Charles says in wonder.
Clara chuckles, “Women can do anything a man can, sometimes we do it even better than them.”
***
When they pull up to Shelby Company Limited, Charles immediately jumps out with Ruby in his arms and inside. Clara takes a moment to pull herself together before entering after him.
“—Miss Clara saved us though, knocked the bastard on his arse and then chased him out with his own gun. Then she brought us here.”
“Did she now?” Tommy spoke, smiling casually at his son while everyone else looked to be in shock. Ruby was being held by a woman Clara assumed to be Lizzie. “I see you passed my test.”
Clara blinked at him, “Your what?”
“That man. I sent him there. Wanted to see if you’d save your own arse or if you’d rescue my children. If you’re a peaky blinder now, I need to know that you’re not a coward and you’d be willing to stick your neck out for the rest of the pack.”
“You put your children in danger to test me?” Clara was seething now. Lizzie didn’t look too pleased either, but apparently knew enough to stay quiet.
“They were never in any danger. But, you? I told the man to kill you if you didn’t protect the children.”
Clara scoffed, “That pathetic excuse of a man? He couldn’t have killed me if my hands were tied behind my back. And you’re insane for ever risking your children’s lives like that. The irresponsibility, the selfishness. I would do anything to have children as beautiful as yours,” She blinks away the tears in her eyes, “But you would rather use yours as pawns in whatever game you think you’re playing. You’re a disgrace.” Clara spits before storming out.
It’s a few moments and some angry swipes at her tears later before she hears someone follow her, “I don’t want to be a fuckin’ Peaky Blinder anymore, you can call the police on me, I won’t take part in endangerment of children.”
“I already told you they weren’t in any danger.”
She rounded on him, “You don’t know that! You don’t know what that man would’ve done when you weren’t there! He could’ve missed! He was shooting through the floors from downstairs, did you tell him to do that?”
Tommy swallowed, “You’re right. I made a mistake.”
“You—“ Clara stopped, “What?”
“You’re right,” Tommy leans against a wall and pulls out his cigarettes, offering them to Clara, “I’m selfish. I love my children, but… I don’t think things through all the time. Need someone to keep me in line.”
Clara slowly takes a smoke from him before he snaps his case shut, “Isn’t that what your wife is for?”
He shakes his head, “Lizzie isn’t my wife.”
She frowns, “But… your wedding ring?”
“My wife died. Grace. It was my fault. I was always putting her in danger, too.”
Clara took a long drag, “I’m sorry.”
Tommy nodded in acknowledgement, “I’m sorry about your child.”
Clara froze, “What are you talking about?”
“It’s quite obvious with the way you talk about children. Is that why you killed your husband? Did he kill your child?”
She drops her cigarette to the ground and stomps it out, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He shrugs, “Okay, I’ll find out eventually. Would you come back to the house now so we can discuss the conditions of your employment?”
“I just told you I don’t want to be a Peaky Blinder.”
“And I just told you that I need someone to keep me in line.”
“It looks like you have a bunch of people to do that for you.”
He shakes his head, “These people, I love them, but… I don’t listen to them. They don’t know what they’re doing. I built this company from the ground. They just came along for the ride. Why should they know better than me?”
“But you think I would know better than you? I don’t know anything about business or a company.”
“No, you don’t. But you’re not selfish. You seem to care about people, maybe too much. I just need someone to tell me when I’m unnecessarily hurting others.”
“Those are some big assumptions to make about someone you just met and volunteered to murder a man almost immediately upon meeting you.”
He shrugs, “You volunteered to murder a bad man. You saved my children. Seems pretty fair to me. You’re also the only woman I know who could beat me in a fight which means you could physically keep me in check.”
“You think I could beat you in a fight?” Clara asked, eyebrows raised.
He puts out his cigarette, “I don’t really want to find out, but yes, I do believe you could. Will you please come with me back to my house so we can discuss your employment?” He repeated again.
Clara sighed, “Fine.” Tommy pushed himself off the wall and guided her to his car, opening the passenger seat for her, “What about the children?”
Tommy shut the door behind her, “Lizzie has them.”
“You seem to trust her an awful lot and she’s the mother of your child, but you don’t marry her. Why?”
He starts the car, “Why did you kill your husband, Clara?” She swallows and stays silent as he pulls away from the building, “That’s what I thought.”
“Can I have my knife back now?” She asks absently when the car ride became too silent.
“It’s locked up in my bedroom. I’ll get it for you later.”
“Will I still be staying in your house?”
He nods, “Until you kill Sabini, then we’ll figure out somewhere else for you to stay.”
“Does Lizzie live with you?”
He shakes his head, “What is your fascination with Lizzie?”
“Just trying to figure out your relationship. I’m curious to see who the infamous Thomas Shelby spends his time with.”
He pulls up to his enormous mansion and it once again takes Clara’s breath away, “Lizzie and I fuck occasionally and it’s nothing more than that. She happened to give me a child who I’m very grateful for and so I take care of her. I give her a job, I give her a home, I give her protection. That’s all. Satisfied?”
Clara shrugs, “Yeah, sure.”
Tommy comes around to open the door for her and they go inside, Clara following Tommy into his office. “Alright, the terms of your employment are fairly simple. You fight or dispatch anyone I order you to. You protect anyone I order you to. If you have reason to not want to dispatch the target I give, I’m willing to hear, but you’ll have to be very convincing. If at any point you refuse to dispatch a target and we cannot come to an agreement, I am free to terminate your employment. Understand?”
“What do I get in return?”
“I won’t turn you into the police for the murder of your husband, in fact I will order the police to stop searching for your husband’s murderer as soon as you give me a name. You’ll have a place to live and anything else you may need and you’ll be paid more than fairly every time you do a job for me.” He pushes a piece of paper towards her, “Here’s the written contract, I paraphrased everything, but it’s all there. You’re welcome to read it over before you sign, I want it on my desk by tomorrow morning. If you decide not to sign, you’re free to leave.”
“And you’ll tell the cops about me?”
He shrugs, “Haven’t decided.”
Clara bites her lip, “As a peaky blinder do I get to come to the meetings? Have a say in them?”
“No. Those are family only.”
“That doesn’t really seem fair. How am I supposed to keep you in line if I’m not at the meetings?”
Tommy eyes her carefully for a few moments before sighing and taking back the contract. He scribbles something quickly at the bottom and hands it back to her.
“‘Allowed at all meetings for Shelby Company Limited, but only allowed to speak to question Thomas Shelby’s moral decisions.’” She reads and then looks back to Tommy. He doesn’t so much as arch an eyebrow. Clara sighs, “Fine, good enough I guess.”
“This is a very generous offer.” Tommy said, sounding a bit tiffed that she wasn’t being grateful.
Clara’s pen glides quickly across the bottom of the page, she omits her last name, “Yeah, thanks.” It doesn’t sound genuine.
“I’m gonna need that name, to tell the police.”
“That’s okay, if they take me you can just come bail me out.” Clara smirked and walked out of the room.
“It won’t be hard for me to go to the police and ask them about the man who was murdered whose wife disappeared after.” He called after her.
“Then what are you waiting for, Mister Shelby?”
He stared after her shaking his head and, despite himself, he smirked.
***
okay so i’m gonna tag anyone who replied or reblogged the first post, if you want your name removed pls let me know (:
@mariamermaid @gingertaurus @tommy-scum @lil-black-heart
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haughttopics · 5 years
Note
For the tropes, 32 and 52?
I’M SO SORRY THIS HAS BEEN LEFT IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG BUT I REALLY STRUGGLED BECAUSE THIS ISN’T MY THING, but i tried for you so pls accept my sincerest apologies…
32: pregnancy fic  52: marriage of convenience 
nicole had always known she was head over heels in love with waverly earp, ever since the first day they met in elementary school. sure she might not have realised at the time, but when she looked back after having the realisation™, she knew it had been since the first moment she laid eyes on her
it didn’t take long for the pair to become the best of friends, each never being that far from the other. until waverly met champ hardy…
nicole had always dreaded the inevitable moment of waverly dating a boy (she could never let herself hope that her best friend would ever be interested in girls, in her), but she never faltered in her supportive duties for the best person in her life
at first he treated her right, and as much as nicole hated that he got to be with her she was at least grateful for that. until he started to pressure waverly for sex, and when she refused because she wasn’t ready he became angry and unbearable
it soon became common knowledge around high school that champ was ‘playing away’ and waverly spent many nights crying in her best friend’s bedroom, in nicole’s arms, but never voicing the reason why. the red head would never pressure her to explain but it began to tear her apart inside
prom soon arrived and as waverly was going with champ, nicole wanted nothing more than to spend the night literally anywhere else on earth. but waverly had pleaded her to go, ‘i don’t want to be there without one of the most important people in my life’ she said. and nicole knew this girl could talk her into doing anything
waverly and champ, as to be expected, were named prom queen and king, and nicole spent most of the night in her own company sat on the bleachers not really paying much attention to the world around her. until she heard a scuffle and a moan just below. she looked around the corner and saw champ hardy with stephanie jones…
nicole saw red and wanted to hurt him there and then, but instead she turned on her heel to go and find her best friend. she eventually found her sitting against a wall in the library (because of course she’d be there)
she sat down beside her, noticing the hip flask in her hands that she recognised as belonging to the older earp sister. she looked at waverly’s tear soaked face, took the flask from the smaller girl’s hands to place on the floor and held her whilst she sobbed
eventually the tears stopped falling, and nicole wiped away the last few away with her thumbs. they gazed into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity, until waverly whispered ‘sorry, i should be used to this by now’. and something inside nicole broke, ‘waverly, nobody deserves this, especially not you. you are the sweetest, kindest, funniest, most intelligent person i know and you deserve the whole world. not some dumb jock who can’t see just how lucky he is to have someone as truly special as you.’ 
before nicole knew what was happening, waverly pressed her lips softly against hers. nicole knew this was wrong, waverly was still with champ (even if he was a scumbag) and she could taste drops of whiskey. but her body responded in kind of it’s own. soft pecks became hungry and hands found their way into each others hair. a moan escaping waverly quickly brought nicole back to reality, ‘waves, we can’t do this,’ she said breathlessly. ‘oh my god, n-nicole, i’m so sorry,’ waverly stuttered as she quickly got up and ran from the library
graduation came and nicole hadn’t seen waverly since prom. she arrived and took her seat, eyes scouring the crowd for where waverly should be sitting but coming up empty. when it was time for the valedictorian speech, she was confused when she saw someone other than waverly on the stage. until she heard someone whisper ‘i heard waverly finally gave into champ and they’re at his place now.’ 
all of a sudden the red head couldn’t breathe, she stood up and ran as fast as she could. she ran all the way home, even though her car was in the parking lot. tears blinded her vision but her legs worked on muscle memory alone. she ran into her room and submitted the application she’d hesitated to do so for weeks, because she wanted to tell her best friend first. that she was applying to the police academy in the big city and she’d have to move away for a while. but none of that mattered now…
a year had passed, nicole had graduated at the top of her class despite being the youngest, and continued her training at one of the precincts in the city. she’d thought about going home, but the pain of leaving purgatory without so much of a goodbye was too much, even now
one miserable rainy night, nicole returned home to find someone waiting at her door. hand gently touching her holster, she approached with caution before announcing her presence to the back in front of her, ‘excuse me can i help you?’ the person turned around, clearly drenched from the rain, and nicole’s stomach dropped. waverly…
nicole brought her inside and let her dry herself off, giving the brunette some spare clothes to change into. sitting on the sofa with hot mugs of tea, waverly told nicole everything. about how sorry she was for running away after the library because she thought she’d ruined their friendship, about how she regretted missing graduation, about how bad things had gotten after nicole left. ‘nicole, i’m so sorry for everything. and i’m sorry for showing up here unannounced after so long. but i didn’t know what else to do. because, nicole i’m, i’m pregnant. champ refused to believe it was his and broke up with me, and my d-da-ward kicked me out because he can’t abide a child born out of wedlock and, nicole i’m so sorry i didn’t know where else to go,’ waverly sobbed
nicole instantly put her arms around the smaller girl, trying her best to soothe her. ‘waverly it’s okay, you’re always welcome here. always. and you’re not alone, you’ll always have me for as long as you want me. it’s going to be okay. and i know that you’re scared, but i’m here. i’m not going to let you go through this alone.’ 
waverly slept in nicole’s arms that night, just like they’d done many times before. but when she woke, she realised she was alone in nicole’s bed. she wandered into the kitchen and found nicole working hard on her macbook. she looked up and smiled when she noticed waverly, and quickly made her some tea and sat with her on the couch
‘okay waves, this might sound a little crazy, but hear me out. i want to take care of you, of you and the baby. because after everything you’re still my best friend and i love you, and there’s no way on this earth that i’d let you struggle with this alone. so i’d like you to move here with me, if you’d want to. and this is the bit that might sound crazy, but i think we should get married too. just for the sake of hospital things, legalities, parental rights and lots of other things, it would help me be able to take care of you, of you both’‘you’d do that for me?’‘i’d do a lot of things to you’‘for-for me’‘yeah that too…’
the next few months passed in a blur. nicole and waverly got married in the courthouse and began researching together everything and anything they could to do with parenting. they eased right back into their friendship as if time hadn’t passed at all since that night in the school library. nicole had pushed her feelings down, because this was all that mattered to her, waverly being happy and safe
waverly’s feelings however began to shift, or more accurately, resurface. she knew she had feelings for nicole long ago, but was afraid of her father. the night of the library finally gave her the courage to act on them, but she thought nicole was rejecting her. so she ran away and forced herself to stay with champ, to forget those feelings. when she found out nicole had left, she felt empty. the sun didn’t shine as brightly without her. and she knew she if she was going to make it through without her, she needed to lock her feelings away
one night, waverly began to get worried as nicole should of been home a couple hours ago. she’d sent a few texts but hadn’t heard anything back. suddenly the front door opened and nicole stepped through, and instantly waverly knew something was wrong. she was covered in blood…
‘nicole!’ she rushed over to her ‘jesus nicole, are you okay?’‘it’s - it’s okay waves, i’m okay. this, this isn’t mine…’waverly knew nicole’s job was dangerous, but it hit her in that moment how much she’d regret it if something happened to the red head and she didn’t know how much the brunette truly loved her. waverly threw her arms around nicole’s neck and kissed her hard, trying to pour every emotion she had into it. nicole eagerly kissed waverly back and they both felt the stars around them. waverly broke the kiss after a couple of minutes to whisper the words her heart had known for a long time,‘nicole, i love you.’
fanfiction trope MASH-UP
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justbwi · 5 years
Text
For The Time Being (ch.3)
this story is set in an alternate universe where time has become the universal currency and people, born with a digital clock on their forearm, stop aging at the age of 20
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Pairings: Jungkook x reader (ft. taehyung)
Word Count: 3.8k
Genre: dystopian au / fluff / angst
Warnings: building sexual tension still pg13
Chapters: 01 l 02 l 03
Summary: where you fall into Jungkook’s grasp and there is no time for escape
a/n: sorry for the long wait D: i’m probs the slowest writer in this world shame on you tiff :/ pls stay tuned tho i promise to write whenever i can
Time was ticking fast.
“Are you just going to sit there and watch?”
You were too focused on the clock hung daintily on the wall to answer. It was strange to know that such thing still existed when everyone else has learnt to pay more attention to the one running in their veins instead.
The clock arm made a disturbing sound as it flicked to the next second. You frowned and figured it displeased you the same way basking in the afternoon sun was.
“Jimin-ah, can we go home now?” You shouted over the humming of beetles. Summer was intolerable enough itself. Why did your brother have to make it even more so by running in the heat?
The said boy craned his neck slightly backwards, his eyes always genuine and soft. “Y/N, come on,” he calls. “We came to have fun, remember? Besides, running makes me feel-“
Alive.
You finished the sentence for him in your heart and secretly waited for the applause in celebration of a right guess. But, the clap never came. In fact, you would never know what he was about to say as his voice had been cut off so abruptly that as soon as you had your glance landed upon the tracks he was on minutes ago, you found him lying flat against the scorching ground instead.
“Jimin! Park Jimin!” You rushed to his side, chest heaving out of anxiety.
He was knocked unconscious, face made direct impact with the solid Earth. One would be mistaken to think that he had been asleep save for his crossing of eyebrows. The cruel sunlight cast shadows under the lashes and made beads of sweats form on his forehead.
He was in pain.
You shook him violently. “Jimin! Wake up!”
The green light, discernible to your peripheral vision, came afloat under Jimin’s skin, but you had cared less. You only wanted him to come around and repeatedly tell you that he was fine as if he was chanting a mantra while he wiped the hot, burning tears away as he always do when you are upset.
“Please…please…” You pled to the gods you had never laid faith on, knowing that there was nothing you would not give up in exchange for them to ease their grips on Jimin’s lifeline.  
Within seconds, your vision grew blurry and you could taste salt on your lips. Your mind was a whirl of chaos and filled with desperate thoughts. Even as Jimin’s eyelids fluttered open weakly, you had reckoned it a delusion fate had so cruelly put in your way.
“Y/N,” Jimin drawled, the strength in him practically seeped out with each syllable. His eyes widened at the sight of you crying, and instinctively, took your face in his hands. “Why…why are you crying, silly?”
You blinked hard, attempting to brush the hallucination away. “Jimin.”
As he lifted his arm and your cheek perfectly housed in his grasp, you faintly and officially regarded the new instalment in his body which was glowing and…ticking.
Jimin followed your stare and was able to catch on your train of thoughts right away. He was not surprised or confused, nothing you had experienced over the short span of him passing out in the sun earlier.
“It’s my birthday.” His comment was brief and plain, accompanied with a smile which did not quite reach his eyes. But, it was enough for both of you to understand why he suddenly fainted not long ago. You have heard rumours of people reacting differently to the first appearance of ‘the clock’, but witnessing one in person formed a completely uncanny piece of memory you wish to eradicate.
You gazed at his clock as the digits went from 9 to 0. The countdown seemed to affect you more than Jimin himself. Now, his life was also put to a limit. You were, at some point, at a loss for words as if your throat was filled with rocks of sharp edges that would cut open your flesh should you make a sound.
You stared at him, tears continued gliding down.
“Please d-don’t die, Jimin..” You stuttered among incoherent sobs. “…don’t die.”
Jimin chuckled. “I won’t,” he cooed as he swiped his thumb across your cheekbone.
“I will stay by your side and protect you.”
Always.
"Y/N. Y/N?"
Taehyung watches you stir in your sleep, troubles evidently edged between your brows. He was on the verge of bringing up his embarrassing childhood memories when you dozed off. The sight of you mumbling inaudible words while clinging onto him has been too precious for someone to disturb, and he would do anything to keep it that way until your body started shivering, your forehead covered with perspiration and your muscles essentially tensed as if you were ready to run. That was when the boy sensed that something had gone wrong and had to wake you up against his will.
"Y/N," he calls again.
Your eyes flutter open in an instant, the stare hazy and hollow. You are panting as you regain your senses, the realisation that you are riding with a stranger who is likely to report this abnormality to Jungkook, provided that the two of them are friends, dawns on you. You cannot share your secrets and weaknesses with them because these people, who live in an utterly different universe than yours, would only figure out a way to use them against you.
"Are you…alright?" The brunet suggests worriedly as he grimaces, recalling the previous scene. "You were practically trembling. Bad dreams, I suppose?"
It was not merely a nightmare. You were suffering. Everyday passing without Jimin, your haven, is a torture itself already. You thought to yourself. You do not need dreams to remind you of what you have lost.
"I'm sorry," you blurt out instead of admitting the sickening truth, not intending to disclose more of yourself even as Taehyung is paying you the earnest gaze.
Taehyung laughs, his hands nimble on the wheels. "For what?"
"For falling asleep. It doesn't mean that your stories are boring at all. It's just-" You are trying to make up excuses for what he might be thinking after you have slept on him, but your brain does not work as effectively as it normally does, apparently still clasped in the claws of nightmare.
"You are tired. I totally get it," Taehyung replies with a smile you have almost mistaken it for a sympathetic one. It keeps you wondering if rich people like him, practically immortal people like him, would be able to understand such concepts. "Working with Jungkook is already exhausting because he is such a perfectionist and he expects the best from everyone around him. Can't imagine what working for him is like."
You stifle a chuckle, hoping not to show any contempt for your master but knowing that Taehyung has just spoken the greatest truth of them all.
Taehyung catches the playful glint in your eyes and beams. Even though you are still wary of him, it seems that he is determined to show you that he strays from your stereotypical wealthy heir of whatever inherited corporation existing in Gangnam.
"Say it," the boy nudges you with his arm as the car comes to a halt, the unblinking red traffic light in huge contrary to the jumping digits on your exposed arm.
"What?" You glance at the rear-view mirror, the Jeon's mansion was long out of eyesight.
Taehyung takes a deep breath and nods as if he knew what your heart has been shouting ever since you left Incheon to live an even more miserable life. “Jungkook is…” he prompts.
"- a jerk." The two of you miraculously chant in unison.
You laugh in the most genuine way for the first time ever since you have been thrusted into the Jeon mansion, all the tension and stress abandoned in the darkest corner of your mind.
All thanks to Taehyung.
“Right, here we are. Let’s go!”
You watch as he bounce off the driver’s seat, heading to the grocery store with an overflowing surge of enthusiasm, which you greedily steal a share of. A little blitheness when you are away from Jeon won’t hurt after all, will it.
Taehyung's love for strawberries and basically anything that tastes sweet continues to fascinate you as he wipes the shelves clean at the dessert section, boxes of candies piling up in the trolley.
"Dark or milk chocolate?" The boy holds out two packages extravagantly adorned with ribbons and waves them at you.
It takes a few seconds before you realise that he was asking for your advice. Honestly, you have barely had chocolate before, except that one time when Jimin came first in those Inter-school competitions where the winners were awarded with a decent amount of time wrapped nicely in a capsule, and he had spent all that on such luxury to cheer you up after a fight. You soon realise that all chocolate basically taste the same – pure and sweet – as Jimin.
"Milk," you reply with a shy smile, remembering that only piece of chocolate you have ever had.
Taehyung beams and grabs two milk bars from the shelves, adding them to his fountain of desserts.
To your surprise, the boy finally decides that it is enough for the day and heads straight to the cashier when you were already looking for escape routes just in case you were stuck within the store long past its working hours. You have your forearm exposed to the staff as the tags are being processed and you silently hope that your digits would be returned the moment you went back to the Jeon mansion.
"Take mine." Taehyung's words jolt you out of your cloud of worry. Rolling up his sleeve, he shrugs at you nonchalantly. You watch his digits disappear around his wrist, the lavish life getting sucked out of him bits by bits.
"Why?" The two of you are out in the parking lot when you can no longer hold back your curiosity.
Taehyung pauses in front of you, his left hand occupied with packages of food, his right on the door handle.
He looks at you, dumbfounded. "What do you mean?" He is wearing a unadulterated smile, the kind that should not be present after a painful slice in one's lifeline, though willing.
You do not have the courage to return the gaze lest evident shame runs wild in your eyes. "Earlier. Why did you..." sacrifice on my behalf.
Taehyung simply chuckles. He rummages through one of the largest packages and in it comes through the bar of milk chocolate beautifully wrapped in silver. "Here you go," he offers as if it was an everyday treat.
"Working for kookie can be demanding sometimes, but trust me, there is still a gentle heart hidden somewhere deep within his unyielding armour. You just have to look closer." He starts the car engine, the navigation set to work on a return trip to the Jeon mansion. "Until then, you can hold onto this piece of chocolate. It can always brighten up your day."
The ride back is tranquil. You have never been that at ease with someone since Jimin. This brunet at the driver's seat has not treated you like a servant as most of the people in Gangnam do. He does not stare at your exposed forearm as if the same pulsing underneath did not run in his own system. He calls you by your name, wiping out the filth others see at its edges with a gracious beam.
With him, you can feel normal again.
Almost.
Not until there comes a voice so familiarly unwelcome which breaks all signs of comfort bubbling in you.
"What takes you so long?" His voice is laced with irritation. It makes you shrink back to your disposable self, avoiding the trigger to his timed bomb.
Taehyung thinks otherwise. He takes two long strides towards the trunk, retrieving the shopping bags which should be handled with by someone like you instead. A servant.
"Well...I may have been loitering around the sweets section for a few more minutes than I usually do," the boy sheepishly grins, flashing the dozens of shopping bags in his grip and heads for the front door himself.
You quickly moves to stand in his way, recalling your status in this household. It could have been an ordinary sight for him to carry those bags in public and you could simply appreciate how gentlemanly he is, but now that you are back to the mansion where Mr. Kim is constantly checking up on you to make sure you know your place as a servant, you just cannot risk another delay in the distribution of time capsules. Unfortunately, Taehyung does not have the intention to give in.
"Y/N, can you get the door for me?" The brunet asks with a sweet smile you are trying to engrain in your mind. It is so bright that you almost comply. You bet you will do anything he wishes under such influences.
"Master Kim, let me have those," you gesture at the gift boxes, the words unintentionally coming out as pleads. "Please."
Taehyung shakes his head in disapproval. "Not until you know how to address me properly," he knowingly smirks.
You gulp visibly and whisper, hoping that you would not get into trouble because of this. "Tae..."
"Such a good girl," Taehyung grins as he gradually unloads some of the lighter packages in your arm, the ruffle of your hair coming at last. You can feel the growingly familiar warmth radiated from him and smiles back on reflex. You almost get lost in this new reverie until a cold and harsh voice brings you back to life.
"Y/N."
You turn towards the source and find Jungkook staring at the two of you. His face is adorned with rage and something you cannot quite pinpoint.
"Yes, Master Jeon?" You abruptly detach yourself from Taehyung's touch although you already start to miss his gentleness the second you drift away from him.
"My tie," Jungkook emotionlessly utters.
You look at him blankly and wait for him to spill out another word but there is nothing. He just stands there as if that was enough for interpretation. He is apparently not wearing a tie at the moment, so with him mentioning one can only mean one thing.
"It's in the washer, I suppose," you reply after taking a wild guess at his supposed question and return to helping Taehyung with his bags.
Jungkook scowls. "I need it now."
"But Master Jeon, it's-"
"I don't want to repeat myself."
You nod defeatedly, knowing there is absolutely no room for argument when Jungkook is concerned. If he wants something, he always gets it regardless. Besides, you are in no place to put up a fight either.
You give Taehyung an apologetic smile as he waves you off, heading to take more of the bags out from the trunk while Jungkook has no intention to help. The latter boy smirks in victory despite the fact that he still manages to sound bored with everything.
"In ten minutes. My room."
The problem with Jeon Jungkook is that he is too much of a perfectionist. There is no room for defiance when it comes to his order no matter how demanding or practically impossible it might seem to the common eye. The Jeons always get what they want, while servants like you exist to make sure of that.
That explains why you are currently in the master en-suite, blow-drying that damned flap of clothing which should have dried itself a few hours later under mechanical force instead of an inefficient labour if it has not untimely crossed Jungkook’s mind.
You have your back pressed against the counter and let the sound of the hairdryer drown out the rest of your thoughts. But that does not stop the train of cruses pouring out, unprocessed and directly addressed to Jungkook’s overwhelming arrogance. You are too focused on improvising the variations of swear words the boy is able to provoke in you that you forget the door to the en-suite is left ajar.
“Yes, I’m pretty sure we’ll see each other in hell,” Jungkook states as he walks in.
“Master Jeon.” You quickly straighten up, eyes darting everywhere but him as if you were a child caught sticking your hand halfway through the cookie jar. You are still figuring out what exactly is oozing off in his wake that has left you feeling agitated whenever he is around.
Jungkook extends a hand towards you.
Up close, you can see the scarce callouses worming their way into his palm. They are the trails left behind hours of hard work and labour, symbols of poverty you are bound to be affiliated with, not someone as wealthy as Jungkook should be bearing. You are intrigued by this small similarity the two of you share and suddenly find yourself anticipating more. You want to know where he could possibly get them from and why he would have allowed them to stay. But before you finish getting prepared for your death wish, he once again cuts you off, poking at the bubbles of imagination which are precariously growing at a high speed.
“Tie.” He gestures with a hint of annoyance, just enough to catch your attention.
“Oh,” you mutter, mostly to yourself. The tie is apparently not in its best condition for the wearer but if he insists to put it under his reign, you would simply have to obey.
You bow out of propriety without meeting his glare, the wanted object offered between the two of you. However, Jungkook does not even bulge. He remains as a still frame and waits as though you were meant to do something more than what you have been doing.
Unfortunately, you have no intention to solve this riddle, let alone clear the fog clouding your head ever since his absurd reaction towards the exchange between Taehyung and you.
“Master Jeon?” You feigned innocence as your glance flickered towards the set of his jaw.
He takes a step forward and dips his head in the direction of the tie in your hand. “Aren’t you supposed to do it for me?”
You blink at this simple request. Is he actually asking something from you instead of barking out commands?
“But…I don’t know how.”
A light shade of pink spreads across Jungkook’s sharply crafted cheekbones. He seems flustered because you have practically turned him down for the second time in a day, and you are not sure if you are finding this side of his adorable when you should be apologizing and begging at his mercy at the moment.
“You don’t know how to do a tie,” Jungkook lets the words swing on his tongue and steps closer to your still figure, his stare never wavers. You gaze right back at him, throat tight, when he places his hands on either of your shoulders and pivots you to look at the mirror behind. Long gone was his timidity, replaced by a predatory glint in his gold-specked iris.
Jungkook presses his body close to yours, his hot, minty breath fanning against the nape of your neck as he speaks. “Let me teach you.”
You are hyper-aware of his hand movements when he swiftly plays with the fabric, looping it around your neck in demonstration. His long, slender fingers graze your skin every now and then, setting it on fire. You can feel the walls pressing in on you, count the number of breaths you take and taste Jungkook’s signature cologne on your lips, the smell of musk wafting from his collar.
The room suffocates you.
He suffocates you.
“M-Master-” you purr, sanity drifting further and further away from your grasp. You squirm uneasily in his half-embrace as if that was enough to snap yourself out of this unexplained enchantment.
Jungkook smiles lazily, his left hand tracing patterns around your clock. You are sure it is not included in the steps of doing a tie.
“Call me Jungkook,” he breathes, his mouth desirably close to back of your ear. “The way you so casually did with Tae.”
You are too caught up by this proximity that you fail to catch the undertone of warning in his voice. So, you obey. “Jungkook.”
The boy smirks triumphantly, noticing how much he is affecting you. “Tell me. Who are you working for?”
Enthralled by the proximity, you finally let yourself succumb to this undoubtfully attractive man and the growing heat pooling between your thighs. Your brain and body seem to focus on nothing but Jungkook, his slightly sultry look invading each and every corner of your consciousness.
Automatically, you utter the only word you have been taught to memorise. “Jungkook.”
“Who is keeping you alive?”
You momentarily tear your gaze away from his inviting eyes with pains. The green digits throbs persistently beneath your skin. But, for the first time in forever, your heartbeats are outrunning them. “Jungkook.”
“And still, you fall for Taehyung, huh?”
The mention of the sun-kissed brunet pulls you at halt. You recall his blinding smile and the few moments of elation flooding your heart due to his company. Although you are pretty sure that it could not have been profound affection you are starting to feel at the thought of him, you still cannot bring yourself to deny what Jungkook has said right away.
Sensing that he is not getting a reply from you, Jungkook simply scoffs. He finishes the last touches with the tie hung around your neck and tightens it a bit too much to your liking.
“Here. I expect you to do it for me next time.”
You nod although you know that it is not his teachings you have been focusing on earlier. You glance at Jungkook, who is now leaning against the threshold, the predatory glint in his eyes has long gone. The fact that he gets unacceptably close to you on purpose just to distance himself later both confuses and irritates you.
Perhaps, you are just a disposable toy to him. He clearly does not cherish your presence as much as Taehyung, but why can’t you stop thinking about him? You find yourself drawn to his half smile more than the other boy’s wide grin.
Jungkook seems to be so different from what he appears to be in public and you are tempted to look under his façade for some unspoken reasons.
“For the record.” Jungkook’s voice snaps you out of weird and treacherous thoughts. You turn your back to the mirror, his tie a mismatched accessory to your otherwise plain uniform.
“Tae is engaged.”
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reddieloserz · 6 years
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I looooooved the latest reddie oneshot you posted and I was wondering if you would write a fic where eddie surprises or catches Richie off guard somehow? Angst or fluff is okay!! Xxx
Thank you my sweet anonymous!! That means so much to me you have no idea. Ya’ll have been making me feel so special with these prompts like ugh Im a lucky dog. And hh absolutely! How fun omf g
I spend most of my time writing aged-up eds and rich but im just feeling really nostalgic and i want to focus on our sweet 13yr old canon boys once again!
This is sort of a continuation of my last one shot and is v fluffy with a light dose of angst pls enjoy
Word count: 2,298
It had been about two weeks since the awkward (and perfect) kiss happened between Eddie and Richie in the movie theater. Neither of them really brought it up again, because there wasn’t a lot to explain. Richie was enthralled with Eddie and Eddie absolutely adored Richie.
Their dumbass antics only escalated from what they used to be- instead of just keeping their endless teasing between each other, they would now turn and roast whichever other Loser was closest, like some sort of sassy dynamic duo. It would of bothered the Losers more if it wasn’t just as hilarious to them as it was to the other two boys. They still annoyed the shit out of one another too, of course, don’t get me wrong. They still bickered nonstop, not unlike a boy tugging on a girl’s piggy tails to get her attention.
Difference is, now they were absolutely glued to the hip. If the Losers thought that Richie was clingy to Eddie before, they were in a whole different ballpark now. It was as if Richie’s hands were magnetized to Eddie’s body and he didn’t have the strength to resist them. What used to be a casual tousle of Eddie’s hair or wiping away a stray food crumb from his cheek, was now incessant tickling, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s middle, and Richie’s personal favorite- blowing raspberries into Eddie’s neck.
And Eddie didn’t even seem to care! Sure, he would say that Richie was ‘up his ass’ and to ‘leave me alone, Trashmouth’ but the smaller boy would never actually make a move to get away. He would just let Richie pull him into the other boy’s lap, acting as casual as possible whenever it happened. They were completely compatible and comfortable with one another, and a kiss wasn’t about to change that. They had grown up together, after all. They knew each other in ways that nobody else in the world could understand. Besides the other Losers, of course.Like right now, for example. It was a Friday night and all of the Losers were all cramped in Bill’s basement watching a horror movie (again). Richie was on some kind of kick, soaking up any and all horror media he could find. It all started when they watched Nightmare on Elm Street 5 earlier that Summer when IT… Well, you know.
Anyway, it was Richie’s night to pick, unfortunately for the other 6. It did give Mike a good excuse to coddle Stanley, though, and every once in a while Eddie would glance over to the pair and find that they had been slowly but surely scooching closer and closer to each other on the love seat. Eventually Stan’s head found Mike’s shoulder, and they both watched the carnage that was happening on screen in contentment.
Since Eddie had gone to that unofficial date with Richie at the Aladdin he found that he wasn’t as frightened of scary movies as he had thought. Not at all, in fact. Sure, seeing them in theaters could get him a little riled up, but that was his anxiety talking more than his actual fright. He knew movies weren’t real… He had seen what real horror was.
Eddie was currently perched in Richie’s lap on the floor just in front of the couch that Ben, Bill, and Beverly were occupying. Bev had fallen asleep almost as soon as the film had started and it was Ben and Bill that were awkwardly squished together because of Beverly’s hogging two out of the three couch cushions. Her faint snores filled the room, almost louder than the dialogue on the tv, but no one in the room seemed to care. Beverly must had been pooped from her train ride back to Derry from Portland.
As Eddie stared at the television he was only half paying attention to the action of the film. Richie’s nimble fingers were messaging into Eddie’s even smaller hand, rubbing small circles into his palm. Richie’s hands were always warm contrasted to Eddie’s cold ones and it felt really nice to have him fiddle with his fingers.
While Eddie and Richie had not kissed again, Richie had taken said kiss as permission to hold Eddie’s hand whenever he liked. Eddie never seemed to initiate any touching, so when Richie was feeling like he needed a little extra attention, Richie would take one of Eddie’s hands and place them on his head, forcing him to rub softly into his hair. Eddie, not looking up from whatever he was doing, would automatically oblige. He’d run his fingernails softly from the crown of Richie’s head all the way down to his neck and then back up again. Richie would close his eyes at that, going slack beneath Eddie as he sat in his lap. It usually made Richie fall asleep, and Eddie was happy to do anything to get Richie to calm down enough to be able to relax.
This was exactly what was currently happening, and before Eddie knew it, he had glanced back to see each and every one of his friends fast asleep. The action on the movie continued loudly, but it didn’t seem to disturb any of them. Ben had rolled over until his side was flush with Bill’s and they were sleeping with their heads leaning on the other’s for support. Fucking adorable.
Eddie got up from his place on Richie’s legs slowly, stretching with his hands up in the air until he felt the soft popping of his knees and spine. He let out a light sigh and padded across the basement and up the stairs to the kitchen, on the hunt for some popcorn.
Richie opened his eyes slowly, the draft in the basement waking him up lightly. He was shivering a tiny bit and realized it was because he had lost the warmth of his small counterpart. He looked around the room for a moment, acknowledging that everyone was napping, but Eddie was nowhere to be found. He quirked and eyebrow before rubbing the sleep out of his eyes from underneath his glasses. He quickly hopped up, ignoring that his legs had fallen asleep, and quickly darted upstairs.
“Eddie?” He called into the empty hallway. The bathroom door to his left was empty; unoccupied.
“Eds?” No reply came. It was raining harshly outside and the room was colored in grey from the clouds. Richie quickly strutted into the Denbrough kitchen, expecting his companion to be on his tip-toes trying to reach the popcorn in the cupboards. (fuckin shorty.) But he wasn’t there.
No, Richie didn’t think he was one to panic, but boy did he jump quickly to conclusions. His heart began pumping wildly and he started breathing heavily out of his mouth. Where the fuck did he go?
“Eddie! Where are you?” His voice rose just enough for his voice to crack in the middle of his sentence.
In a last ditch effort to deduce where Eddie had gone, Richie raced outside. Rain fell down on his head and shoulders, and to his dismay, he saw that Eddie’s bike was still propped outside in the yard. He hadn’t left.
Running around the threshold looking for Eddie sat uncomfortably familiar in Richie’s gut. The last time he had chased Eddie, trying desperately to find and protect him, was at Neibolt. Just the memory alone made his heart race and his head feel dizzy. Suddenly, a far off memory resurfaces in his mind, and his eyes widen at the sinister voice that whispers in his ear.
“Don’t touch the other boys, Richie… Don’t… Or they’ll know your secret.”
“No… This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.” Richie whispers to himself, quickly turning back around and speeding up the porch steps. He swung the screen door back open and b-lined it straight for the basement stairs, footsteps loud and heavy. He was completely prepared to make an incredibly large scene, yelling for the others to get up, that IT had returned and Eddie was gone. Admit his failure. Again. He couldn’t keep Eddie safe.
Just as he was about to put his foot on that first step, something burst from around the corner and shouted an incredibly loud “BOO!”
This knocked Richie straight onto his ass, his hands coming up to cover his face as he let out a strained cry. “NO, PLEASE!”
Eddie had just pounced from behind the pantry door, crouched with his hands up like he had bear claws. He was pink in the face from trying his best not to laugh as he hid from Richie, sneaking around the house as Richie went on the hunt for him. He thought that this prank was going to really set a new bar between them, and he knew he was going to make Richie scream like a girl.
What he didn’t anticipate was this.
Richie had fallen down in front of him, his face blotchy and red already with tears. He had covered his glasses and crown of his head with shaking hands. He was breathing harshly, lips quivering after he let out his scream. Eddie straightened up, all humor repelled out of his body like a bullet. Richie had cried, muttering a small, “Don’t hurt him!”
Eddie kneeled in front of Richie, then. Slowly, he lifted his hands until they were covering both of Richie’s as he said, “Rich! Richie! It’s just me! It’s Eddie.”
“Eddie?” Richie whispered, removing his arms from his face and staring at Eddie with wide, frightened, sad eyes. They were rimmed with red and the fact that his glasses magnified their anguish made Eddie’s heart split in two.
“It’s just me, Rich. It’s Eddie.” He squeezed both of Richie’s hands softly, not letting them go.
“Eddie.” Richie just stared at him, almost disbelieving that it was really him. He finally relented and relaxed, letting his body slump. He wiped his face with his shoulder, looking away from Eddie in embarrassment. He refused to look back at the smaller boy.
Eddie let Richie come back to himself for a bit. In an attempt to comfort him, Eddie did the first thing he could think of. He brought both of Richie’s warm hands to his lips and lightly kissed his knuckle.
Richie’s head turned back towards him and his wet eyes landed on where Eddie’s lips were giving him a soft peck. Eddie continued, caressing each finger with soft and quick kisses. Richie just silently watched as Eddie pecked his fingers.
Eddie waited until Richie’s breathing returned to normal again to speak.
“What happened just now, Rich? Why did that scare you so bad?” He said quietly, barely even a whisper.
“I…” Richie stopped, looking down at his hands in Eddie’s instead of the other boy’s eyes. “I thought it took you.”
“You mean… IT?” Eddie hadn’t thought of IT in weeks. It was like a faint and distant dream, even though it had only happened to them a few months ago.
“Yeah.” Another beat of silence.
“Richie, nothing is going to happen to me. We killed it. YOU killed it. It’s okay.”
“I just want to keep you safe!” Richie blurts, almost interrupting Eddie’s sentence. “I thought that it took you from me again.” Richie sniffles, only once. “I don’t know what I would do if it did.”
Eddie just looked at Richie. Tried to memorize the way he bit his bottom lip to stop it from quivering. Wanted to imprint the way Richie’s eyes couldn’t quite meet his while he admitted his confession. It wasn’t very often Eddie got to see this version of his best friend. He wanted to store it for eternity to memory.
“You keep me safe, Rich.” Eddie says. Richie just scoffs. Eddie squeezes both of his hands again. “Hey, you do!” Richie doesn’t reply this time, lost in his tornado of self deprecating thoughts.
Without thinking about it twice, only focusing on comforting his beautiful friend, Eddie utters a few earnest words.
“I love you, Rich.” Eddie breathes. He keeps his eyes steadfast, never faltering from Richie’s expression. He didn’t want to miss anything.
Richie slowly lifts his head again, this time bravely returning Eddie’s gaze.
“W-what?”
“I love you. Richie.” Eddie says again. He is beginning to feel embarrassed now, like that was the exact opposite thing to say, and that it was so stupid of him to think otherwise.
“I love you too, Eds.” Richie says and there is laughter in his voice. Eddie’s eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up, and Richie laughs whole-heartedly now. “I love you, Spaghetti!”
Richie throws his arms around Eddie’s shoulders, and Eddie returns his invitation easily. Eddie is kneeling in between Richie’s open legs and they just stay in that awkward embrace until Eddie’s knees are screaming at him to move.
Eddie leans back, just enough so that his face is a few inches from Richie’s.
“You want to go finish that movie?” He asks softly, not wanting to tell Richie he has to do anything.
Richie just nods, giving Eddie a little mischievous side-ways smirk that he always wears.
“Oh what, Trashmouth, you going to hang that over my head forever now?” Eddie scoffs, returning the smirk at his dumbass friend.
“Yup! Forever. For-fucking-ever, Eds.” Richie’s voice is beginning to sound like his usual self. “It’s going to be the one thing I think of before I go to sleep at night, laying next to you mother after we-”
“Okay! That’s enough! Get off me, you dipshit.” Eddie shoves Richie playfully and stands up, marching back towards the stairs.
“What? No kiss this time? Come on, Eds! Way to send a guy mixed signals here!” Richie calls as he follows him back down to the basement.
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wen-junehui · 7 years
Text
170827 ; Diamond Edge NYC Fan Account
ALRIGHT YALL IM FINALLY READY TO FACE MY EMOTIONS AND WRITE THIS OUT!!! It’s mostly for myself because it was honestly the best night/concert of my life and the more time passes the more I’m gonna struggle remembering SO HERE GOES WOOOO (very very long mess of words BRACE YOURSELVES)
BEFORE (4am-5pm)
SO I actually managed to get up at 4am and I didn’t get much sleep anyway because I was so damn nervous BUT we got ready, ate some breakfast, and managed to leave my house by 6am! We took all the public transport we needed and walked to Terminal 5 and my friend and I were ahead of everyone else and once we were close a huge sea of people wearing rose quartz serenity appeared outta nowhere in the corner. WE WERE LIKE SHIT HOW DID PEOPLE GET HERE EARLIER THAN US YALL DEDICATED and they immediately separated us into our different sections so our friend group split up and I was in VVIP with 3 other friends.
We had a really good spot in line until a group of people who camped out the night before (SOME EVEN SINCE FRIDAY LIKE YALL CHILL PLS ITS ILLEGAL AND UGH) so they got priority in line and I was so freaking angry BUT YA KNOW WHAT MY NIGHT ENDED UP BEING GREAT SO DFLJKGH ITS ALL GOOD
We waited in line outside until 11am blasting music and dancing! Some people even recognized me from KCON and I was like UMMM HELLO??? They recognized me from my hair and now I feel like I should never change my hair color ever again LOL BUT THAT WAS COOL IM HAPPY TO GIVE HARU MORE RECOGNITION THRU MY HAIR WEE WOO
So at 11am we were moved to the rooftop and stayed there until the hi touch! It was pretty fun for the first half up until let’s day 3:30-4pm ish??? we were jamming to songs and singing svt while they were doing soundcheck right below us and THEY COULD HEAR US WOW AND one of the MMT staff (I think I heard her name was Jaylee but imma just say J) filmed us cheering for svt and shit camille and i were in the bathroom and suddenly everyone started screaming so i ran out and someone told me scoups said hi LOL SO MAH GIRL AND I WERE DANCING BY THE BATHROOMS WILDLY AND WOO we made svt laugh thats fun! my friends and i also played kpop charades/heads up to pass the time and i did 5 rounds in a row just to get cherry bomb but i NEVER GOT IT AND IM SAD BUT OH WELL
When we only had like an hour or so left it was the longest hour of our lives omg the sun was blasting its full rays on us and it was just the tail end of endless waiting that we had to endure because everything after this went by in a breeze OHOHOHO
HI-TOUCH (5pm)
ALRIGHT THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGINS!!! So once we started lining up and walked down the stairs my heart began to race and it finally hit me that it’s actually happening and i’m seeing svt up close AH. They had a box to drop off fan gifts on the way so I’m happy I got to pass along to Jun the Hui Hui plushie that I made! I wish I took a picture of it beforehand but I forgot ;-; 
NOW ONTO THE ACTUAL HI TOUCH!! Thanks to my lovely HARU peeps who have a much better memory than me the official order was: minghao, vernon, hosh, jun, jeonghan, jihoon, seungkwan, dino, wonwoo, dk, scoups, josh, and mingyu. SO NO ONE EXPECTED MINGHAO TO BE FIRST AND SHIT MINGHAO SHOOK ME SO HARD HE’S SO HOT IN PERSON MY HAND WAS SHAKING AS I LIFTED IT UP. To Vernon I said YO VERNON WHATS UP and he was like YEEAHHH wow vernon is so much more handsome and chiseled in person goddamn every angle in his face can cut mE. SEEING HOSH’S 10:10 EYE SMILE UP CLOSE WAS THE BEST AND HE LEANED AGAINST THE BARRIER LIKE WOW HELLO 
When I got to Jun hoh mah gah how does he exist his hair looked so soft and fluffy and YALL HIS 60 DEGREE NOSE DESERVES ITS OWN MUSEUM ITS SO BEAUTIFUL JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER FEATURE IN HIS FACE AND (WHEEZE) I said “你是My I(爱)” which means “you are my i/love” AND HE JUST STARED AT ME AND THEN LOOKED TO THE NEXT PERSON SO I FELT KINDA EMBARRASSED but at the same time it was really hectic so maybe he didn’t hear me properly or was just overwhelmed or confused I DUNNO BUT GAH ITS OKAY
Okay tbh bc I was so flustered from jun I breezed through jeonghan, woozi, and seungkwan that my memories of them are kinda hazy BUT ONCE I GOT TO DINO I SLOWED DOWN BC ITS DINO YALL PLS STAN THIS TALENTED HUMAN. i don’t remember wonwoo much either bc dino but scoups and dk were the nicest and dk thanked everyone like bless this boy!! I said WHAT UP to scoups and YO WHATS UP JOSH TO JOSH AND MINGYU HELD MY HAND LONGER AND SQUEEZED IT AND WOW THE LATTER HALF WAS SUCH A NICE EXPERIENCE IM SO HAPPY
After hi touch, we entered the floor and we got a really good view of the stage only two people in front of us! BUT THE THING IS THEY WERE HELLA TALL WITH PHONES FILMING THE ENTIRE TIME but that didn’t detract from the amazing time we had! They played most of svt’s mvs like the ones they performed and once don’t wanna cry played at the end the music got louder it got darker AND SO IT BEGINS
WEN JUNHUI STARING INTO MY SOUL
Interactions get their own section because oh mah gah I’m so shook that it actually happened and wow I need to relive these on their own. SO
After the hi touch, I honestly thought shit jun thinks i’m weird omg i should’ve said something else but he kept on looking at me the entire night and i still can’t believe it happened???? I made an exact replica of my kcon ny poster that said ”我爱俊辉“ which means “I love Junhui” and I know for sure he noticed it in the first half of the concert! 
During Highlight, he kept on staring at me during the chorus!!! Like we were on the right side of the stage (Camille and I were like OKAY RIGHT SIDE IS WHERE WE GET THE BEST VERNON AND JUN VIEWS) and every time the chorus came on and he was right in front of me, he literally stared at the me the entire time for all of the choruses!!!! and like I said before i couldn’t even move during highlight so he must’ve seen how shook I was and dfjghsjdklgf oh my god I couldn’t deal like having your bias stare you down the entire night and have you as his “target” is an experience. And his stares are like an experience in itself like they’re kinda sensual in a way with the way he looks at you. dfgjhslgjkhs
DURING MY I, for the second verse during his part HE STARED AT ME AGAIN while minghao was front of him on the ground and holy heck i was so triggered like of all parts it had to be that one and it’s my favorite part of the song because his “yeah” is so freaking cute and hot at the same time dflghsjdg
ALSO WHEN THE MEMBERS DID THEIR TALK RIGHT BEFORE DONT WANNA CRY, I caught him staring at me from across the room!! That sounds so cliche but he was all the way on the left side of the stage at the end of the line. I was looking at the members in front of us but when I turned my head to look at Jun I was surprised to catch eye contact with him like HELLO?!?! All i did in response was smile and then I turned my attention back to the members in front because fdkjlhgjskd I couldn’t man.
BUT MY FAVORITE JUN MOMENT OF THE NIGHT. During the encore some members had cameras that they would film with and Jun had one. So during healing, he came over to our side again and turned the camera towards us. I lifted up my Jun poster high up so it would be in the shot AND WHEN HE TURNED BACK AROUND HE GAVE ME THE BIGGEST AND MOST GENUINE SMILE EVER. Like ya know when he smiles really widely or when he laughs all his teeth are showing and his eye smile and nose scrunches a lil THATS THE SMILE HE GAVE ME AND IT WAS THE BEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT. I’m so fucking happy all of these things happened with Jun and wow I’m glad I was his target/muse for the night and that I was able to give him happiness. :’)
One of the reasons why Jun is my ultimate bias is because of how into the performance he gets and “gets into character”. His stage presence definitely catches your eye and UGH HE’S JUST SO FREAKING TALENTED AND HIS MOVES ARE SO SHARP IT COULD CUT ME INTO PIECES!!! I LOVE WEN JUNHUI
HONORABLE MENTION: YOON JEONGHAN
OKAY, I knew Jeonghan was gonna wreck me in some way because he’s one of my main wreckers BUT OH MY GOD I DID NOT EXPECT THIS MUCH.
First off during Pretty U, he smiled at me twice at the part when they’re in a circle and Seungkwan does his high note!! The first time was when he was kneeling on the floor and and did the fancy hand arm move things and the second was when he got up to sing his part! I was smiling at him the entire time and wow such a lovely moment.
During the vocal unit stages, I caught him staring at me during We’re Gonna Make it Shine and ugh my god this is only the beginning. During Don’t Wanna Listen in Secret I caught him staring at me again during the chorus and I was also mouthing the lyrics so it’s like I was basically singing along with him AND DFJKGJSD IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL
BUT WHAT REALLY SHOOK ME AND I CAN NEVER LOOK AT HIM THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN. During the encore, Jeonghan was drinking water right and since he was in front of me I couldn’t help but look at him. So when we made eye contact HE WIGGLED HIS EYEBROWS AT ME AND HOLY HELL I WAS SO ATTACKED LIKE UM EXCUSE ME SIR I UM DFGKJHS. i was so flustered all I said to Camille after was FUCK YOON JEONGHAN!! he did it while drinking his ater and ugh my god I really think he was lowkey playing with me the entire night and this was the final blow. i’m so wrecked by jeonghan i’m--!!!
DIAMOND EDGE (7pm-9:30pm) [HIGHLIGHT ;) REEL]
Literally the best concert of my life. I’m never going to stop saying this because I know everyone’s really tired because having concerts at every other day is crazy af and jun, wonwoo, and jeonghan looked the most drained. despite this though everyone put on an incredible and breathtaking show. They did a lot of remixes for a bunch of their songs.
PRETTY U WAS THE OPENER AND IT WAS LIKE THAT ONE CHRISTMAS PRETTY STAGE AND IT WAS SO FREAKING CUTE!! Beautiful live was also just a huge bundle of joy to see because the members were joking around and playing with each other onstage like jun and vernon had a bro moment where jun walked past vernon and vernon stuck out his tongue like YEEE BOI hehe
When vocal unit started singing We’re Gonna Make It Shine I literally started to tear because everything was so beautiful and the song has so much meaning to it and WOW IM GETTING REALLY EMOTIONAL JUST THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN but all of vocal unit’s stages were absolutely breathtaking and hearing their voices and harmonies live damn REASONS WHY THEY’RE MY FAVE UNIT ALSO DK. OMG. THAT BOY IS SO MUCH MORE HANDSOME IN PERSON. And his eyes are so twinkly like I’m convinced actual stars live in his eyes I compared his eyes to Jeonghan and Seungkwan who were beside him and wow his eyes just light up the entire room :’)
HIP HOP UNIT DOE. OH MAH GAH LIT DOESN’T EVEN DESCRIBE HALF OF IT. everyone was so freaking pumped but y’all vernon’s stage presence stood out the most because he was honestly just letting himself go and having the time of his life and feeling the beat and feeling himself LIKE YAAASS BOI U GO. He’s definitely of the top 3 performers of the night HE. IS. SO. GOOD. when he said pretty motherfucker I WAS LIKE FUCK YES AND I MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM FOR A BIT FOR PRACTICE WHAT U PREACH BC CAMILLE AND I WERE JUST GOING AWF IN ON THE FLOOR. Also WONWOO!! He didn’t show much emotion(? for lack of a better word) throughout the night and seemed kinda intimidating but there was something about him that made me keep staring at him and wow seeing him for the first time live since we wasn’t at kcon ny last year i was definitely captivated by him. And when we went FUCK YEAH I WAS LIKE DFKJGHJSD YAAASS
ALRIGHT. PERFORMANCE UNIT. H I G H L I G H T.  OH. MY. GOD. OHMYGOD. (omg was amazing too btw dlfjghdsk performance unit is DFKJGDSJKG) I literally could not move while watching Highlight. It’s my second fave svt song after Pretty U and I was in awe. I couldn’t even scream or move (my friend was shook that I was so still and didn’t make a sound LOL) I was so in shock at how beautiful it was in person. As much as I wanted a fancam of it from my perspective i didn’t even dare to reach for my phone let alone look anywhere else because it was such a masterpiece. AND OKAY THEY DID THIS THING WHERE THEY ADDED AT THING AT THE END AND JUN SLOWLY ROTATED HIS HEAD AND WOW HIS ADAM’S APPLE CUT MY PUPILS AND SNATCHED THEIR EDGES HOH MAH. ALSO I’m serious y’all need to stan Dino like everyone that I talked to about Dino they’re like he’s too young. But you can still stan him!!! Romantic feelings are not a requirement to stan people!!! appreciate him for his talent!!! His stage presence and dancing is THE BEST in the group and i’m telling you I call him the child prodigy for a reason. Hoshi and Minghao are AMAZING performers as well and ugh every single person in perf unit is PERFect okay. I’m so thankful I got to see OT4′s version of highlight because it’s absolutely amazing live.
MY I. HOOOOOOOH MAH GOODNESS. THIS SONG. THIS PERFORMANCE. THIS CHOREOGRAPHY. CHINA LINE. EVERYONE STAN CHINA LINE. Again I was in complete awe. I couldn’t move I couldn’t breathe I couldn’t LIVE. The way they smoothly incorporated the ribbon was so beautiful and during the part where jun and minghao do wushu jumps after jun did his thing he was smiling and laughing bc apparently he messed up? I’m not sure my friend said he did but I could’ve sworn I saw him do his jump and i dunno seeing him being so smiley and cute was dkjfhgjdf AND MINGHAO STROKED JUN’S CHEEK AT ONE POINT LIKE WOW AMPLIFIED THE EMOTION OF THE SONG SO MUCH
So the encore was ughhh the cherry on top! I’ve always wanted to get water splashed on me like ya know how the artists get so hyped and ish with the water YEAH IM SO HAPPY MY FIRST TIME WAS WITH SVT. The first time we got splashed was with scoups AND IT GOT IN MY EYE and the second time we were kinda drenched it was beautiful i’m so happy that happened and us jumping along with them during healing was the best experience ever. when they did shining diamond i was so happy to clearly see the part where hosh is in the front and everyone’s leaning on their thighs such an iconic part and considering shining diamond has so much meaning behind it and the song that started it all i’m truly thankful to have seen it its full glory :’)
AND I CAUGHT A BUNCH OF MEMBERS STARING AT MY BONGBONG NEW YORK POSTER DURING THE ENCORE! Like I noticed Vernon and Jeonghan looking at my poster but Seungkwan!!! Seungkwan was the most memorable because it was when he started crying so when he saw my poster he started to cry more AND DFGJHSJ BOO BOO MY HEART. Making that poster stressed me out a lil bit but I’m glad it turned out nicely in the end at that they loved it. :’)
LAST THOUGHTS
Okay this post covers a huge chunk of the night but my entire google doc of my memories has a bunch more. i’m so thankful for seventeen and being a carat and watching them grow. from debut to now, i can’t thank them enough for all the happiness and positivity and hope they’ve given me and i’ll never forget this concert and everything about this day. i will never stop supporting and loving them and i already can’t wait until they come back. thank you seventeen for everything and giving us a phenomenal show. 
we’ll always be your shining diamonds acting as your light whenever things may start to get dark. ♡
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