this is weird, but I know you've talked about the ear piercing thing, so just fyi I think in bordy's new ig stories you can see both his ears?
homie. bestie. bruh. beloved. please insert your preferred endearment here anon this is not weird you are a) always welcome to send me asks about anything and b) 🥺🥺 i love when y’all enable me and send me asks about things which i will probably go screech into a hole about, such as this:
per thom’s insta story 6.23.22, i zoomed in an unreasonable amount of both of his ears and now feel like this :/
[a brief aside: my GOD does he have a crooked smile i’m obsessed with it and also the family resemblance is real]
anyway after much consideration and absolutely Losing it may i present this, which may or may not be but i am choosing to believe is, thomas bordeleau’s pierced left ear (earrings not included)
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Saw this meme that was like “friend: what could be better than having kids? Me: *image of mr Krabs saying silence and money*” and I just??? I have never seen anyone with children say something like that. I don’t know any fucking parents that don’t act like their children are actively and purposely ruining their lives. Even strangers online will actively try to discourage people they don’t even fucking know when they say they might like children someday. It’s just like the memes about how “other people” are sad summer is ending when the super cool and intellectually superior meme sharer prefers fall. Bitch we got global warming now, it’s 200 degrees even in cold places, nobody fucking mourns summer unless they’re stressed about back to school. But what pissed me off wasn’t just the stupid meme based on imagined scenarios that don’t fucking happen, it was the fact that it was posted in this asexual support group I recently joined. Whether or not you want kids has dick all to do with sexuality. Memes like that in general are so common that I usually just scroll past, they don’t like truly bother me, but… idk… being made to feel yet again like I have some mental disconnect and I don’t fit in and never will just isn’t fun. Someone in the group actually started a discussion recently about if those types of memes were insensitive to those aces who do want kids but have had difficulty with it due to things related to their asexuality, and people resoundingly said it wasn’t insensitive. And idk, I guess in general it really isn’t… many people are pressured to have children and I understand the desire to push back and to laugh at a society that would want to make such a monumental decision for you. But yeah. I just wish my experience and how I feel wasn’t something that people literally find laughable, and I wish the thought of even stopping to consider someone like me wasn’t considered completely unnecessary.
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god it really is 2013 again my best friend is apparently not anymore and i just saw a girl in american eagle short shorts with a union jack sticker on her phone case i hate it here
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I WANNA BE YOURS | WOSO X READER | PT 15
pairings: woso x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: fifteen
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
nahhh that's it
i'm quitting this job
tillies my baes
you guys hiring? 🙏
stairway
NOOOO
Y/N IM SOO SORRY
willybum
Y/N NO
elton
ABSOLUTELY NOT
kyra
ABSOLUTELY YES
cha cha
YESSS
WE WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS
stephy
of course! 🥰
the REAL karate kid
NAHHH
neev
WE DIDNT MEAN TOO Y/N
WE'RE REALLY SORRY
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
NO YOU GUYS ARE NOT
meado
what did you guys do this time
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
stairway
it was nothing!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
NOTHING?!
willybum
did you just make a meme of me ....
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
i've made memes of all of you
BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT RN
i hate you all
except lotte
i love you
you're the only lioness i'll support
tom holland's twin
while i really appreciate that
pls don't leave me with these idiots 🥺🙏
meado
waittt i wasn't part of all this
why hate meee
earpsy
yeah i wasn't there either
why do we gotta suffer tho
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
MARY
you not being there was what caused this
torture and suffering in the first place 😭😭
keira
i'm so out of the loop rn
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
SO THESE IDIOTS THOUGHT I'D BE
GREAT FOR TARGET PRACTICE IN GOALS
AND SHOVED ME IN THE BATTLEFIELD
WITHOUT MY CONSENT
ME WHOS THE OPPOSITE OF ATHLETIC
GOT ABUSED BCUZ OF THEM ALL
only lotte being the angel she is helped me
willybum
it wasn't even that badddd
stairway
yeahh
you're being kinda dramatic
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
WASNT EVEN THAT BAD?!
EXCUSE YOU
I HAVE A CONCUSSION BCUZ OF YOU GUYS
AND A MASSIVE BUMP ON MY HEAD
AND YOURE CALLING ME DRAMATIC?!
tom holland's twin
yeah it was a nasty bump ngl
y'all knocked out her braincells
elton
i mean to be fair
she kinda didn't have many
braincells to begin with anyway ....
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF
THATS ITTT
TILLIES YALL MY NUMBER ONE
MY MAIN
MY HOMELAND
the REAL karate kid
willybum
NOOO
NOT THEMMM
WE SHOULD BE YOUR NUMBER ONE
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
WELL YOU SHOULDVE THOUGHT OF
THAT BEFORE YALL ATTACKED ME
AFTER EVERYTHING IVE DONE FOR YALL
AND THIS IS HOW YOU GUYS REPAY ME?!
kyra
charli and i are coming to get ya rn
from these losers
we're on our way
stairway
WHO YOU CALLING LOSERS?!
willybum
this is unacceptable
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
willybum
the REAL karate kid
neev
NAHH
WE'LL WAGE WAR
kyra
come at me you colonisers
tom holland's twin
NAHH NOT COLONISERS 😭😭
stairway
WE WILL
cha cha
imma bring in the big guns
cha cha added brick wall, ford, lani and sammy the skippa
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
OMG MORE AUSSIES AYEE
cha cha
um that photo ....
anyway
macca cait lani
protect y/n at all costs
brick wall
aye aye
lani
on it!
ford
okay!
sammy the skippa
um what is happening rn
stephy
all you need to know is that we gotta
protect y/n from the lionesses
sammy the skippa
neev
we got our own big guns
lucy millie mary rach
need ya rn
earpsy
here!
brightness
yes.
daily
i was summoned
rusty metal
yeah?
kyra
well
WEVE GOT MCCABE
KATIE MCCABE
the REAL karate kid
WHAT?!
willybum
SINCE WHEN WAS MCCABE
WITH YOU GUYS?!
brick wall
since always?
stephy
yeah katie's an honorary aussie
meado
katie?!
mccard
yeah i am
elton
WELL
WEVE GOT ONA
ISNT THAT RIGHT?
rusty metal
ona?
ona
well .....
i'm afraid to tell you that we spaniards have
formed an alliance with the aussies
kie
THE BETRAYAL 😭😭
willybum
what is this blasphemy
tom holland's twin
wait
isn't spain also a coloniser tho ....
stairway
oh yeahhh
that's hypocritical of you
ona
shhhhhhh
kyra
cha cha
well
y/n is successfully ours
willybum
ABSOLUTELY NOT
neev
WE'LL GET HER BACK
JUST YOU WAIT
stairway
YEAH WERE COMING FOR YOU
KANGAROO RIDERS
samma the skippa
what are you all gonna do?
drown us in your cup of teas?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
DAMN
yall got violated haha
the REAL karate kid
neev
i cannot believe this just happened 😔😭
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
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summary; losing a bag at an out-of-city gas station with an etched phone number seems a little too convenient, doesn't it?
pairing; yuki tsunoda x fem! gas station employee! reader [ no faceclaim ]
a/n; i've been playing wayyyy to much sims 2 strangetown can you tell
liked by liamlawson30, charles_leclerc, estebanocon and 697,777 others
pierregasly I be like idk and I be knowing
view all 21,895 comments
strawberryrosberg what is this caption what does he know
carlitos_55 not a shell station, i see.
roboclaren insert "does he know" meme here except it's us that don't know
liamlawson30 but did he do the deed
eastcoastbearman WHAT DEED WHAT IS GOING ON
rothgothgasly the male urge to speak in riddles
liked by liamlawson30, yukitsunoda0511, danielricciardo and 110,254 others
supernovay/n mission impossible has nothing on us
view all 20,000 comments
liamlawson30 i'm hurt
supernovay/n did you trip on the mop
liamlawson30 maybe BUT YOU'VE HURT ME MORE
deadstappen WHO IS THIS
circusoftheamericas yuki tsunoda soft launching was not on my 2023 bingo card
haas_shaker did it hurt? when i told y'all pierre's post was suspicious and you booed me off of twitter but i was right
angelricciardo post danny in the uniform pls
angelricciardo im begging
angelricciardo pls
pic credits: instagram and pinterest
blog taglist: @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr (race week race week RACE WEEK RACE WEEEEEEEEK)
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radio
pairing: the genz!driver x team x 23!grid
summary: some team radios of our beloved genz!driver
warnings: some swearing
note: oh i hope you all will like what i did here, it took me a hot minute, soo, pls don’t be a ghost reader
our genz!driver doesn’t drive for a specific team (pls imagine which ever is your fav), so the colours of the team radio will be violet, bc it’s not used :)
masterlist / taglist
Bahrain 2023
Q2
- „Okay y/n, you made it into Q2! Let’s keep that same pace you had in Q1“
- „Oh did you hear that? Where did Oscar place??“
- „Piastri is out in Q1, P18“
- „Wooh!! Oscar owes me 50 bucks!!! He lost the bet, he lost it! He didn’t think I’d out-qualify him!“
End of Qualifying
- „Good job, y/l/n! Thats P12 for you! Great start of the season“
- „Yeah baby! I’m the new Smooth Operator, Smooth Operator!“
Race
- „Uhm guys, I think there’s something wrong with my car…“
- „What is it, y/n?“
- „I just overtook Charles, how is that even possible?! Wtf guys, am I that fast?“
- „Oh my god, y/n, you had me stressed out here. I really thought you had technical problems for a second“
- „No worries, I’m just faster than a Ferrari“
—
- „Radio check“
- „It’s a cruel summer!“
—
- „Tell me, tell me how we finished, how I finished?!“
- „P11 baby!“
- „Uh, yeah, who’s almost in the points?!“
- „YOU!“
—
Saudi Arabia 2023
FP2
- „Tell me, is Danny here?“
- „Yea, why?“
- „Can you tell him I said hi? Please“
- „Uhm, sure I can, why?“
- „I just promised him yesterday I‘d give him a shoutout from the track, hahaha“
Q1
- „Okay, y/n, let’s get into Q3 today!“
- „Let’s gooooo!“
- „Could you not scream into the coms, please?“
- „WOHOO!“
- „y/n…“
- „Love you“
- „I don’t…“
- „You totally do“
- „I don’t“
- „You dooooo“
Q2
- „P12, good job y/n“
- „Could’ve gone better“
- „It’s a good result, y/n“
- „But still no Q3“
- „Hey, y/n, cheer up, it’s the same result as last race“
- „I thought we improved, I thought I improved“
- „We can still climb up the ladder“
- „As if, I’m not good enough for that many overtakes, I can defend, but that… I don’t know man“
- „Hey hey, listen to me, y/n. You deserve that spot in F1, you’re young and you’re learning with every race, with every test. I know you’ll be champion one day. Maybe not this race, but you’re gonna go far, kid“
- „…“
- „Are you crying, hahaha?“
- „Let me be emotional, dipshit“
- „Oh Lando is gonna have a field day with this, hahaha“
- „Please don’t show that to Lando“
- „Come to the garage first and we can discuss it“
Race
- „Radio check, y/n“
- „Vamos a la playa“
- „Loud and clear…“
—
- „FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, SHIT, SHIT, DAMN, WHY DOES IT NEVER GO MY WAY?!“
- „Unfortunate events, retire the car, y/n“
- „UNFORTUNATE?! STROLL JUST STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND I HAD TO BREAK SO HARD NOT TO CRASH INTO HIM THAT I CRASHED INTO THE WALL!“
- „It is what it is“
- „Don’t meme me, I’m mad… haha, okay, thank you“
Australia 2023
Q2
- „Good pace, y/n, let’s keep it that way and we’ll make it into Q3“
- „Alrighty mighty“
- „Cringe“
—
- „AND THATS P9 FOR YOU“
- „Huh?“
- „P9“
- „I’m into Q3?! Am I really?“
- „Yes! Yes you are!“
Q3
- „Whoop, whoop, that’s the sound of the police“
- „Whoop, whoop, that’s the sound that I need“
- „P10 baby“
- „P10!“
Race
- „Hi y/n, you’re doing really good out there, bring 'em home for me, will ya?“
- „Danny?“
- „Yes?“
- „Hi Danny“
- „Hi, y/n! You’re currently P9, with 0.548s to Piastri“
- „Okay“
- „Let’s push and stay in the points!“
—
- „YOU‘VE CROSSED THE FINISH LINE AS 7TH!!!“
- „THOSE ARE 6 POINTS, RIGHT?“
- „YES!“
- „It’s all because of Danny!“
- „I’ll gladly let him know“
Miami 2023
Race
- „I- help!“
- „What’s going on? y/n talk to me“
- „I don’t think my break is working“
- „y/n, we are going to retire then, box box“
- „I’ll try for one more lap“
- „No you won’t“
- „I will“
—
- „I think it’s fine“
- „…“
- „Yea, it’s fine, I can brake normally, hihi, sorry for the worries“
- „You’re a menace, y/n“
Monaco 2023
FP1
- „Monaco baby, the land of pretty people and expensive things, I am home“
- „Why’s that, you’re not from Monaco, y/n“
- „I am pretty and expensive therefore I am home“
Race
- „Radio check, y/n“
- „NOT NOW“
- „Noted“
—
- „I don’t feel pretty“
- „Sucks for you“
- „Man, that’s a shit move“
- „Sucks“
—
- „Okay y/n, you’re currently P11 with 0.639s behind DeVries, let’s push to P10“
- „DeVries? Nyck is P10? What happened?“
- „I don’t know, let’s just push him off of P10“
- „Harsh“
- „I’m a bad bitch“
- „Fuck that bitch“
—
- „Great job, y/n P10!“
- „Where is DeVries?“
- „P12“
- „Who overtook him?“
- „Bottas“
- „HAH!“
- „Be nice“
- „Ugh“
Montréal 2023
FP3
- „You are currently P3, I repeat, you are currently placed on P3“
- „Who’s pranking me? Max? Lando?“
- „No one, you ARE P3!“
- „WHAT?!“
- „Let’s take that pace into qualifying“
- „Uhm, yea, definitely“
Q2
- „What’s my time?“
- „1:18.725“
- „And Max‘s?“
- „1:19.092“
- „WHAT?“
- „You are P1, y/n“
- „Are you kidding me?“
- „I would never“
- „Mhm, but really? P1?“
- „I swear to god, P1“
Q3
- „Fuck! Shit! Holy macaroni fucking meatballs! I crashed, I repeat, I crashed“
- „Yea, we saw, retire the car“
Race
- „P7, good job!“
- „Thanks…“
- „Oh and y/n, you’ve been voted driver of the day“
- „Really?“
- „Really“
- „Firstly, I wanna thank the ground, because without it, I wouldn’t be standing here today“
- „That only works if you’re really standing somewhere, y/n, you’re sitting in an F1 car“
- „Then I’d like to thank my F1 car…“
- „I deactivated your coms“
Austria 2023
Sprint Shootout
- „What exactly is a Sprint really?“
- „Oh my god, really y/n?“
- „No… of course not…“
—
- „Great job, you placed P13“
- „Mhm, thanks… I‘m thirsty“
- „…“
- „Did no one hear me? I want my drink, where is the drink?“
- „You will not have the drink“
- „Oh you waited so long for that, didn’t you?“
- „No…, yes“
- „Kimi is a legend.“
Sprint
- „I don’t like this Sprint thingy“
- „Why?“
- „I don’t know, just because“
—
- „P15“
- „No good job?“
- „Not today“
- „Understandable“
Race
- „I want to go home, I am tired of this“
- „What?“
- „It’s getting boring with Max always leading and winning“
- „Thats why we need to push as hard as we can“
- „As if I’ll ever overtake Max“
- „One day, y/n, one day“
- „But not today, that’s why I want to go home“
- „You can’t“
- „Loser“
Silverstone 2023
FP2
- „Why do I not see Charles on the grid?“
- „Why do you have time to look at the screen and not see Charles on there?“
- „You should be driving“
- „I am“
- „Clearly not fast enough“
- „Hey, I am faster than you think“
- „You are currently driving with a speed of 156 km/h“
- „How do you know that..?“
- „I am your race engineer, I know everything“
- „Did you know that I just farted, hahaha?“
- „Unfortunately“
- „Hihi“
- „You’re gross“
- „Thank you“
- „Welcome“
—
Race
- „If Lewis stands on that podium, he owes me a dinner“
- „And if he doesn’t?“
- „I owe him a pity dinner“
- „And if you stand on that podium?“
- „Thats unrealistic, that’s why we didn’t bet on it“
- „True“
- „HEY!“
- „You said it first!“
- „Not a reason for you to call it out!“
- „Women“
- „I heard that“
- „You were supposed to“
- „Less talking, more driving!“
- „Yes boss“
- „Yes boss“
—
- „Omg, omg, omg, tell me I crossed that line without a single penalty and we don’t get a grid penalty? Please tell me this is true?“
- „YOU ARE P4 Y/N“
- „Am I really?“
- „Yes!“
- „If it weren’t for the safety car you would’ve been P3!“
- „I don’t care! It’s my best result so far!“
- „So near and yet so far“
- „Lew is P3?“
- „Yep“
- „P4 and I get a free dinner from Lew, what a day“
- „Be proud and loud“
- „WOOHOO!!!“
- „Maybe not so loud…“
- „Sorry not sorry“
Hungary 2023
FP1
- „Oh Danny Ric is back on the grid!“
- „Mhm“
- „Aren’t you happy to see my favourite person driving again?“
- „Totally“
- „Be happy!“
- „Okay…“
—
- „Oh… I just passed Danny“
- „You are on your flying lap, he needs to let you pass..?“
- „Yeah… but he needs a positive experience on his first race back…“
- „HES THE ENEMY“
- „He’s my best friend…“
- „Does he know that?“
- „Uhm, I hope so“
Race
- „Tell Lando he’s doing a great job“
- „Just drive“
- „Okay…“
—
- „Lando says thank you, by the way“
- „For what?“
- „Just forget it“
- „Okay“
—
- „Oh, for that! You’re welcome, Landi“
- „It took you 4 laps to realise“
- „My brain is sometimes slow, let me be“
- „I would if I could“
—
- „Oh how I hate Perez“
- „It’s mutual“
- „Hihi“
—
- „Radio check“
- „I am so glad that the summer break is right in front of me, just 33 more laps and it’s me chilling on the beach, getting tan and reading good books and you know, that’s how my dream life looks like and…“
- „How can she be so talkative but still be on for a podium? It’s a mystery for me“
- „And Lando and me oh and Danny will go on vacation together. Maybe Lewis will come as well. I want to go to the Maldives but we’ll see. Oh and you know what would be cool? If we really…“
- „Is she still talking? Yep…“
- „I could learn how to surf and eat loads of stuff and just relax“
- „So you finally decided to stop speaking and concentrate on the race? Great job, y/n“
- „Thanks!“
—
- „Thats P5 for you! What a race to start the summer break“
- „Thank you so much“
- „We’ll see us in 3 weeks!“
- „Byeeeee“
°°°
@ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @biglittlesecret, @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21 , @youkissedareaderinthedark , @mikauraur , @thybulleric , @lpab , @fdl305 , @mellowarcadefun , @teti-menchon0604 , @vildetry06 , @bibissparkles , @aurora-maria , @lunnnix , @sya-skies , @Buckywifeyy , @dakotali , @rechtrecht , @noncannonships , @1eclerc16 , @pitlanebabe , @sopheeg , @avengersheart , @thatsadsmallchild , @peachiicherries , @idkiwantchocolatee , @callsign-scully , @mehrmonga , @badbatch-simp24 , @lissyontour , @din0nugs , @elliegrey2803 , @gay-for-victoria-de-angelis , @10vely-yutazen , @daggersquadphantom , @azriel-the-shadowsinger , @i-love-scott-mccall
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neighbours to lovers! jake sim.
neighbour!jake x reader! in which jake sim has been in love with you from the minute he set his eyes on you. thank u so much for your support<3
OKAY LEMME TAKE A MOMENT TO GATHER MYSELF
because NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR JAKE???
WHO HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SINCE YOU WERE KIDS?
dead. cant breathe.
his family and your family obviously know each other well
and i see his house as being ‘the spot’ during your childhood where all the neighbourhood kids used to play
he had these monkey bars in his backyard that everyone always wanted to play on
but jake always made sure you got to go on them first
#whipped
#nineyearoldrizz
brace yourselves
are you braced?
i’m not sure you’re braced
… HE WAS YOUR FIRST KISS
i know!! so cute right?
fighting back tears rn
you were only eleven so you didn’t really think much of it. he was your first kiss and you were fine with that
jake on the other hand?
he still thinks about it
in fact, that’s one of the scenarios he thinks of to help him get to sleep
boy is hopelessly in love
and everyone knows it too
like he denies it but everyone just knows
because he will drop anything just to do you the smallest favour
“hey jake, are you busy? i could really use your help watering my parents flowers?”
jake, who is in fact busy, “nope. not at all. never. give me that watering can.”
i repeat: w h i p p e d
cant blame him tho. you’re the embodiment of warmth, the personification of excellence. you are simply amazing.
i got more rizz that jake just sayin… ;D
despite knowing you for so long, he still gets all tongue tied whenever you’re around
and you’re just clueless
a perfect little dumbass
no matter how many times your family and friends — and even HIS family and friends — try to tell you, you’re convinced he’s just being friendly
because boys like jake don’t like people like you
you’re not enough for him. and he’s certainly not attracted to you
keep thinking like that. i dare u. i’m outside of your house. ur perfect! MWAH MWAH. take all my love pls
in true neighbours to lovers fashion, your bedroom window faces his
#youbelongwithmecore
and sometimes like the little creep that you are, you peek inside of his room to see if he’s there
unbeknownst to you, little jakey poo does the exact same thing
soulmates fr
twins asf
people that creep on each other, end up with each other
i do not condone staring into your crushes bedroom. do not do that. you may get arrested… but if you do send me your mug shot, i bet u look adorable! KIDDING IM TOTALLY KIDDING PLS DONT GET ARRESTED
anywhooo, one particular night you peek into his room
at the exact same time as him
cue that spiderman meme where they’re just pointing at each other
you both just kinda freeze
staring at each other
because now what? you’ve both caught each other out
eventually, you shuffle forward and open your window which coaxes jake to do the same
the confidence comes naturally because it’s only jake, you know him like the back of your hand
tho ur screaming on the inside because a) you’re embarrassed and b) JAKE WAS STARING INTO YOUR ROOM WHICH MEANS HE WAS LOOKING FOR YOU
it’s almost like he’s in love with u or sumn idk
“are you stalking me, sim?”
his cheeks go bright red and he kinda starts spluttering
“i—no. i promise i wasn’t—i-“
well. that was disappointing. you kinda hoped he’d keep up with your flirty banter
“it’s okay jake, i was doing the same thing.”
honest icon. you truly can do no wrong
even more spluttering. even more blushing
because YOU???? WERE WATCHING HIM??
bro loves stalkers. IM KIDDING ILY
anyways there’s something about the atmosphere
and to jake, it just seems right to say what’s on his mind
which leads to him sitting with his feet hanging out of the window and the darkest shade of red on his cheeks
“i still think about that kiss.”
did u hear me scream?
your mind goes blank
because what tf does that mean?
the kiss?? THE KISS? THE FIRST KISS???
HE STILL THINKS ABOUT THAT???
he can’t look you in the eyes, choosing to fiddle with his fingers instead
and you just stand there dumbfounded
bby talk to him before i lose my mind
when you don’t say anything, jake scrambles back into his room which kinda snaps you out of your trance
his fingers are itching to close the window
“i’m kinda upset that you’ve never come back for seconds”
i literally have a lambo and nine mansions
marry me rn
now it’s jakes turn to be speechless
bro is FLABBERGASTED
“oh.” 🧍🏻
“oh?”
“oh.”
this is painful. it’s 5:30 am rn cut me some slack
you have this poor boy breaking out into a rash from stress
and it worsens when you grab your coat and demand for him to meet you outside
like the true gentleman, he doesn’t leave you waiting long and almost falls flat on his face trying to get through the door
what a loser. i love him
he shuffles towards you, hands in his pockets and a look that says he’s absolutely terrified
are you gonna slap him? tell him you never want him to speak to you again?
“look, i’m sorry if i overstepped—“
“are you gonna give me my kiss i’ve been waiting for or not?“
it’s then that he notices that you’re both in the exact same spot as you were all those years ago when the first kiss happened
literally giggling and kicking my feet rn
“a-are you sure?”
and those are the exact words he uttered the first time too
he was as nervous as he was back then, perhaps even more so this time around
because this isn’t an innocent childhood kiss
you’re grown now. it’s different
in true y/n fashion, you start to lose patience
so you trust your gut and you grip onto his shirt, tugging him closer giving you the perfect chance to collide your lips with his
jake’s hands waft around in stress until they finally settle on your waist and he gains enough confidence to pull you somewhat closer to him
i don’t want a boyfriend. i don’t want a boyfriend. i don’t want a boyfriend.
the kiss is a thousand times better than the first
it's passionate and sentimental, full of longing and tenderness. it’s everything and more.
pulling away is almost a chore as you rest your head against his.
“i could get used to that.”
jake goes to respond, a breathless chuckle ghosts your lips when suddenly a wolf whistle cuts through the street
“AYO JAY OWS ME 20! I KNEW HE’D GROW SOME BALLS EVENTUALLY”
sunghoon, the neighbour across the street who also happens to be jake’s best friend, is leaning out of his window.
that definitely should have ruined the moment but you were far too wrapped up in the bliss of having jake so close to you, that nothing could ruin the happiness you felt
not even sunghoon and his idiocy.
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bark like you want it
~ choso x fem!reader
~ tags/cw: fluff, fem reader, choso not understanding memes, canonverse, satosugu is canon, shoko is ur bestie, established relationships
~ wc: 400
"Is she calling you a dog?" Choso looks up from your phone to give you a confused look.
Your boyfriend hands the phone back to you, completely baffled at the text message you had shown him.
It was the text from your best friend approving your Halloween outfit choice with a lengthy message of barks and howls that had you cackling from the opposite side of the couch, startling Choso from his Animal Crossing gameplay. He had been eager to be in on the joke, clicking off his switch and shuffling to your side of the couch to get a peak at your screen.
"Is that good?" he asks, head titled to the side in befuddlement. "I thought being called a dog was a bad thing?"
Your nose crinkles in adoration at his confusion.
"Being called a dog is a bad thing," you confirm his earlier statement and wait for his nod of acknowledgement before continuing. "but what Shoko meant in that message is..umm.." you ponder the best and most straightforward way to explain the slang.
You don't mind walking your love through the things he doesn't understand. In fact, you find it rather adorable when he sends you memes or videos he doesn't get with a small text of help. You always write back with a thorough description of the joke and added resources so he could better understand it, but this one has you stumped. For a while, even you were uncertain of the intention behind the barking, but after seeing Saturo use it to flirt with Suguru, you knew it wasn't anything malicious.
"Okay, so, if I were to send you a picture of me and you think, 'Oh my god, she is so hot I need to tell her that she looks so good', instead of saying all that, you could write bark bark or something like that. Make sense?"
Choso looks just as perplexed as before.
"So you want me to bark?"
Your laughter explodes from you. "No, Cho, It's just meant to be something funny. You don't have to do that; I was just using me as an example."
"But it's a good thing, right?"
"Yes, it's a good thing," you affirm. "I'm always barking for you in my head; it's like a little crusty white dog in there, just going crazy."
It's Choso's turn to laugh at the image you outlined before him., giggling at the idea of you barking like a dog each time you saw him.
Two days later, you send a work fit to your boyfriend, and his text back is a simple.
bark bark bark bark bark bark
did I do it right?
a/n: i wrote this while making dinner pls be nice, my brain is exhausted I've been working on choso tattoo au
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Another gen z reader pls!
YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.
Yandere Muzan x Gen Z! Reader.
Also, this will contain TRIGGERING THEMES!! It could be anything, like mentions of murder, blood, obsession, anything yandere related. Basically dark content, so if you are NOT comfortable with such stuff, please do not read this post!
Okay, so before we start this shit, just know that Muzan here is kind of gonna be like, only good to you and shit.
"My love, I'm back-" Muzan announced as he started taking off his coat like they did in those 90s shit. Or not. God, my memory is fucking shit. That does not matter, for the only goal in your mind at the moment is to find a excuse to get away from this ugly orange of a demon.
"Oh no, I forgot to water my baguettes! I am so sorry, I must take my leave right now!" Just as you said that, your baguettes in the background screamed, "Hydrate us, [Name]!"
I can't even properly tell you how hard Muzan face palmed at your so stupid attempts to try and escape his affection??? And he doesn't even wanna know who you bribed to wear baguette costumes and say to hydrate them.. What did you even bribe them with???
One of them was probably Enmu.
Muzan, himself doesn't know why the fuck he finds you so amusing. It's probably because you are like, literally playing with your life. Literally.
Evidence is the time when you once tried drinking bleach because first, it looked tasty, and second, you wanted to know what bleach tastes like.
And my God, it did not taste as good as it looked like! IT WAS A SCAM. No one ever scammed you this hard. It tasted like extremely concentrated swimming pool water.
Oh that reminds you of the time when you drank swimming pool water-
And in the Taisho Era, there is no shit like fanfics or memes so Muzan can more than often find random drawings...which are memes but his boomer brain can't process what's so funny about it. Like, talking croissants are funny- no, not the ones you find on Kids YT.
But as I said there are no fanfics, and my goodness do you love reading, proof is of you reading this. So let's hope you like reading books too.
No fanfics. What can you do? Probably read Shakespeare. I'm bullshitting my way through this, please deal with it.
Of course, after reading Shakespeare your grammar and vocabulary got a lot better! Which Muzan liked, a lot.
But,,,,, you being you, now even have more ways to insult Muzan. Like,
Thou base decayed ingested-lump!
Thou perfidious weather-bitten writhled shrimp!
Thou fawning fool-born filthy rogue!
And you could go on and on, but let Muzan have a break.
It's so funny to the uppermoons, especially Douma, when Muzan is just 'scolding' them by 'gently' smashing there heads in and you come in and go, "Awww, mama duckling scolding her ducklings..." As you pretend to make a video with your phone which you don't have because Muzan broke it because he's an asshole.
And as soon as you come in, somehow all the blood disappears and everything is normal as he kisses your forehead and asks, "What are you doing here, darling, did I not tell you to not leave your room?"
Everyone present could feel the temperature drop when Muzan said that, and that was not a good sign.
"YOU AREN'T MY MOM." As soon as you said that, you ran away faster than light because you are....idk. You were able to run away mostly because Muzan let you, but trust me when I say that he wasn't angry at you, more so at the demons who he kept at your room's door to prevent you from leaving the room.
And those poor, poor demons who were now begging for their lives as Muzan glared at them, "I gave you one job, one job.."
That's just when you had to again come in, "CUT!" You yelled, "Do it again, but this time, with more feelings." The demons and Muzan nodded, "ACTION!" You said as the scene started again, this time, with more feeling.
One time you just pointed at one ugly demon and said, "This does not spark joy," Muzan killed it. And then after seeing what Muzan did to the ones you said that to, "This does not spark joy," you said to Muzan. Pointing at him.
And after that, he was seen sulking the whole day because he thinks you hate him, which you do. I hope. I don't know.
MASTERLIST
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Is it time for me to foam at the mouth about one of Silver's most batshit insane decisions in the entire show?
(So the ramble underneath this is literally 2k, so like, make good choices I guess. also pls imagine me as Pepe Silvia meme the entire time)
So I see people talking a lot about how Silver is fucking deranged bonkers banana cakes he has 10,000 snakes in his head instead of a brain and of course I agree this is just Canon.
However, the moments that we focus on are like 3.3, doldrums talking to Billy about Flint controlling reality when he's starving and dehydrated or like what he says in response in 3.10 when Flint tells him his story, about Thomas.
Both of those are very very good moments for Silver being fucking crazy and saying things out loud with his human mouth that no regular unfucked human being would come up with, he set new RECORDS for it, agreed.
TODAY I want to talk about a different moment, what I think is the most egregious example of Derangement. It's in the Silver-Flint gold conversation in 2.7.
Quick context-- Before Silver meets back up with Flint in 2.7 he was sent after a VERYYYY dissatisfying conversation (aka "the gold is still a priority" where Silver challenges Flint on the Vane and the fort and Abigail Ashe plan and Flint lies to his face) to go influence the men to vote for Flint's side of things over Hornigold's. After dealing with the Logan situation in the middle of that (which I don't actually think Flint ever finds out about Silver helping to cover that shit up, but that's not the point right now) he shows back up right in the middle of Hornigold addressing the pirate council and accusing Flint of a bunch of crimes (most of which are accurate lol) and Flint is Angy about "where the fuck has you [Silver] been?" and Silver tells him (loud enough for the entire council to hear mmhmm) that the gold is gone.
Now the order of the scenes, the timeline, means The Reveal about the gold is with Max later, (right, that later is the point it becomes real for us because we're finding out the same as Max's that Silver has made the gold disappear) and so it's hard to keep in mind until a second watch how the entire time there in the tent and Silver is putting on this performance, such a good show about it the whole time and then he goes and talks and gives the speech to the whole fucking combined crew and that entire time we don't know yet.
But Silver knows. He has already engineered a situation where he has convinced to the scouts that they're going to sell the location of the gold to another crew!! He has already removed the Urca gold from right under Flint's nose!! (Which is like the thing that Flint has been working towards for an unknown amount of years since he found out about it right? This thing, this sort of mythical amount of money, which is going to solve problems and effect change and build a future and fulfill Thomas ideals.)
And while he's talking he has already waved his hand and made it disappear in the narrative and he did it so skillfully that we don't even suspect that this is happening until the reveal and so sometimes it's hard to go back and think about the 2.7 tent conversation.
Potentially it doesn't quite HIT on the first watch. Maybe not even the second.
But yeah what I want to draw attention to is that... this ENTIRE TIME, from the moment Silver shows back up, he is putting on the performance of his fucking life. He's ALREADY met the scouts Vincent and Nicholas on the jetty, he's ALREADY convinced them ON THE FLY ON A WHIM to lie to Captain Flint. He's ALREADY coached them through exactly what to say to sell it, to lie to Captain James Flint's fucking face. right??? and THEN only after that does he goes to meet Flint.
And the very specific thing I am focusing on isn't even THAT gamble, which is fucking SCARY CRAZY ALREADY. But the WAY this boy pulls the bluff out, the lengths he goes to during the next convo in the tent about "there is no we. the gold was the inducement" and all that. You know the scene.
I wanna underline how Silver decides midstream, midargument to... FLIP IT AROUND and accuse Flint of making the gold disappear.... when Silver literally just made the gold disappear.
Silver: I believe I've been clear about the nature of my investment here. The gold was the inducement. Now no gold…
Flint: It's an unfortunate development that we have to adapt, and quickly.
Silver: Adapt? I've had about my fill of adapting lately. Doing your bidding, keeping the crew in line for you.
Flint: I wasn't the only one to benefit from that.
Silver: It certainly seemed that way. Even now you're the only one benefitting from it.
Flint: What are you saying, that I'm benefitting from the gold having disappeared?
Silver: It certainly solved a number of problems for you, didn't it? I have half a mind to wonder if you didn't orchestrate this whole thing to your advantage.
So yeah I'm uh, I'm literally foaming im frothing im cappucino right now. I want to put this UNDER THE MICROSCOPE AND STUDY HIM. what in the FUCK. Silver knows the entire time, this ENTIRE EXCHANGE, that not only is the gold still on the beach but that he is gonna fucking SELL THE LOCATION to Max and Rackham. And then sits there cool as a fucking cucumber with his mask of irritability...(because of course if he had nothing to do with it!!) Like of course he would be mad that the gold is gone, because the gold was the inducement RIGHT.
All of the rest of that is a foundation for like the craziest part isn't necessarily that he's putting on the act That's in keeping with him, we've seen that, we saw that he was getting more and more frustrated and that part doesn't surprise us that like he would... I mean we saw him steal the page and we saw him burn the page and we have seen him make these types of kind of batshit decisions so we're like "okay this this checks out."
But the truly deranged part where it goes beyond like it just like they're like literally... he. he. HE ACCUSES FLINT OF THE THING HE JUST DID. There was no reason for you to say that and at this point it's like he is SEEING how CLOSE he can get to the fire, he is seeing how much RISK can be pulled off. He's getting off on poking and sleeping dragon in the eye when he knows very well the entire time that he stole the fucking dragon's gold.
"I have half a mind to wonder if you didn't orchestrate this whole thing to your advantage."
I--
it's... it's some reverse psychology bluffing gamble, it's "let me say what has happened, let me literally ADMIT WHAT I JUST DID but no YOU did it, I projected it onto YOU. hope that you don't think about that too hard. let me hope that this works out"
There was... THERE WAS JUST NO REASON FOR IT. He was already pulling it off, the conversation was. "There is no we" and "I was clear about the nature of my investment" THAT'S ENOUGH. STOP.
there's just no reason for him to have done that but it's because he's fucking crazy he's a crazy person
The way his brain works just does not follow lines of logic like a sane human being!!
FURTHER POINT--
this is how we also get to the point where he convinces himself to go to Charles Town (because we see him go to Charlestown!! we see him on the ship the next time!! in 2.8!!)
and he says to the scouts that, yknow, paraphrasing "we came on this endeavor in order to allay suspicion about the fact that we have all double crossed this crew that we are sailing with right now including Flint"
now the thing about that is that and I think I've mentioned this before, but I don't know if I've said it in a formal post that so many people had defected/deserted because the gold was gone and they had no appetite for storming the fort after that. And then Silver went and convinced to the rest of the crew remaining to go to Charlestown to seek the pardons right and that's what Flint wanted him to do. So if Silver then defected because the gold was indeed the inducement and there was no gold then I don't think Flint would have fucking batted an eye!!!
And neither would anyone else!! because even though Silver is very useful to Flint as a tool right now, Flint was very mission-focused, very Miranda-focused very pardons-focused, very "let's fulfill Thomas's dream"-focused. So even though he does and has needed Silver a lot recently to influence the crew, I don't think he was really thinking about him basically for two-three episodes after that basically. Cuz they don't talk again, right, and they are just not in each other's orbit for 2.8, 2.9, 2.10.
So what that tells me is that Silver goes to Charlestown and he just... really didn't have to he could have stayed in Nassau and assisted Max or just laid low until the gold got retrieved and then potentially taking his share and left before Flint crew got back!!
I've talked about this specific part before where Silver says that their safety is contingent upon whether Flint is successful in his endeavor or not. Like he says that out loud to Vincent (which is the most bat ship banana cakes bonkers thing ever) about it because he's basically hitched his horse to the outcome of this pardon situation when he absolutely didn't have to do that to get the goal he and the scouts could have all just deserted and no one would have been the wiser because so many crew had, including Dufresne, because of the gold situation!!
Now there's some arguments here about well.... one of our main characters cannot just leave.
But because the writers have created a party member who wants to leave the party what they then keep having to do is invent more and more convoluted mental gymnastics to himself to continue staying and following Flint which is why at the end of the day I sort of can't really see a situation where the Silverflint thing is not like the main thing because they're both obsessed with each other in different ways (and Silver is obsessed first because he doesn't fucking leave and there's a bunch of reasons he should and there's a bunch of chances for him to do so) and so it all starts to look real fucking gay
But yes uh circling back... Silver lies to Flint's fucking face about the gold, going so far as to ACCUSE HIM of making it disappear, then goes on an extremely dangerous errand trapped on a ship full of people who he double crossed with two scouts with loose lips... when, in order to guarantee his future, if we're looking at actual real logic and actual real pragmatism and survival instincts and not just "oh I have to follow Flint because ummmm -dial up sounds-",
Then he should have stayed in Nassau.
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Pls tell me more about your universe where nations are public and are public meanaces to society. I think it would be super funny,
I haven't really incorporated the idea in any fics or anything, but realistically speaking, nations have got to be known in the public eye. I know when I first started writing for the fandom, I read one fic where nations were considered top secret so I sort of followed in suit for the longest time. Now, the idea of them being very well known and figure heads is hilarious. It also makes more sense canon wise (but like who cares about following canon).
They're akin to celebrities but it hasn't always been like that. Definitely with the modern age of communication and technology did that start. Think kind of like how Presidential elections changed with the change from radio to television. Appearances became important and hiding their identities has become near impossible. Nations have always had obligations but now, the expectations are different.
Paparazzi spotted Alfred having a sneezing fit at Walmart and now there's article after article of what's wrong with our nation; Alfred knows people think this and will do shit on purpose if he's in a mood. Arthur gets piss drunk at a pub and says some based shit about the Royals and work scolds him like a child the next day but he doesn't give two flying fucks. The shit Alistair will say in interviews because it's a right laugh and nothing else.
They get used in commercials to sponsor whatever because the endorsement of the United States owning Mustang or drinking White Claw is huuuuge.
Several nations have been executed for the stuff they've said and done but they stroll up to their government the following day carrying on because they know you are stuck with them.
I'm afraid I don't have a lot of specific things regarding this. I just find it extremely funny and I'll happily consume any in universe memes about it.
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✨️Reminder✨️
Live in the desires
What I meant with this is that, you need to accept that you have what you want, in your mind first, and from that, start living your day to day with that acceptance.
If you've been in the community, I'm pretty sure you must have read a post about how "your desires are like ordering something and knowing it will arrive" and ngl, I've been in this community for 2 whole years now, and it's only just recently that I *finally* got it.
So I'm going to explain it to you, in the way I understand it, and hopefully it can clear some doubts away💕
Disclaimer, long post a head and I'm explaining things my way, pls take what resonates with you and leave the rest✨️
Number 1:
By this point, we know that reality is only a reflection right? Good, now that you know it, I want you to really grasp it and accept it.
Our imagination is our real reality, but the imagination is not what you think it is. Hear me out, imagination is not that meme of Bob square pants about rainbows and daydreams, (it could be if that's what you want) nooo, the real imagination that i am talking about is the one that you are always using to think things, the one that says: "I have to do this hw", "I'm getting hungry, I should eat something", "my celebrity crush is so cool" "wow I can't stop remembering that cringe moment from years ago" etc.
Now that's your real imagination and that's the one that we need to learn how to "control". Not by force but by understanding how it works.
When we have a desire, it's easy to think of it from a place where you don't have it yet, and the mind just like an algorithm, it's going to keep creating more thoughts that imply you don't have it yet, and since the 3D reflects our imagination, well we keep not seeing our desires.
Knowing this, we can go to number 2:
When you enter any page, you see something you like, so you naturally order it, and what is the feeling that you get when the order is already placed?
You feel that the item you ordered, is yours already, so you start thinking about how to use it and when you are going to use it.
When you get a desire, you liking it and wanting it, is choosing it, when you decide you are going to manifest it, that is you placing the order. From that moment on, you need to start thinking is yours already, there's no "if" anymore, there's only now, whatever you desire, start feeling it yours.
If you want a desired face? Start telling yourself you're pretty, start owning the fact that you are the most beautiful person in the world.
You want your sp? Start relating to the happy love songs, start owning the fact that you have a happy relationship
Whatever you desire, start owning the natural things that will come with your desire.
You need to know that the only difference is that with manifesting, there's no waiting time. Why? Because you control everything, and you can even control when and how you are getting your desire.
And you know the best part? You can decide if you want to know how it manifests, if you just want to wake up with it, if you want to shift for it, or even if it manifest as a complete surprise.
From one reality creator to another reality creator.
You can do this, you got this!!!
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Lookism Chapter 440 Memes/Thoughts I Have:
(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)
Wooooo weeeeee, another chapter this week! LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!! Also, I'm so sorry for worrying y'all for my absence these past few days but after this review is posted, Imma disappear again. 😭 At this point, my chapter reviews might not be posted on time and will be late to post frequently now. Also, don't mind me changing the color of the title every 10 chapters... *Ahem* Anyways-
RIGHT OFF THE BAT, THESE HOTTIES:
Ughhh... God, the fan service here. Thanks PTJ, you the man. 😩✋🏽 Also, the way Jibeom just acted like nothing happened by saying, "SORRY!" UH HA HA HA HA HA HA... 🧍🏽♀️💢 Nah, we allies now. Gotta forgive, right? And Jihan too... 🧍🏽♀️💢💢 Man, y'all just got your asses beat for no reason. This reminds me of those anime with the MC's fighting the enemies, and then they end up becoming allies with the "power of friendship". Behold, the power of friendship everyone.
Ok, but Imma be honest. Every time I see Hudson now, I squeal like a fangirl at a BTS concert. And suddenly seeing him... NAKED? RIGHT OFF THE BAT? My loyalty for Gun is REALLY being tested. Wtf man. Also, the snakes though? That's wild. 😭
Yeah, that panel really wrecked me. Physically and emotionally.
Oh, of course. Also, debt? Huh? 🤔
Yeah man, we need to know!!! WE'VE BEEN DYING TO KNOWWWWWWWW. Whenever I hear "Young Master", it reminds me of a butler saying that. As if Daniel is being treated by a butler. 💀
YESSSSSS FINALLY DANIEL GOT A LEAD TO JINYOUNG!!! 💪🏽
"At least eat before you go." That's so nice of them. Also, "At this rate he'll live here." KSSLDJLFSDHFSLFHDSFH JIHAN PLSSSSS- 💀💀💀💀💀
Oh? Daniel coming up with a big brain plan...? 👀
LET'S GOOOOOOOO DANIEL!! BIG BRAIN MOVE!!! 🤭
Daniel being acknowledged by, not only the man who ended the era of the First Generation, but also, the STRONGEST FIRST GENERATION KING???? Oh god, I love his growth and character development so much. He'll always have my heart forever. 💖 ALSO, THIS WHOLESOME MOMENT WITH JICHANG??? THIS IS TOO CUTE. MY HEART- 😩💗 I WAS SOBBING AT THIS BECAUSE THIS WAS TOO CUTE TO WITNESS. LIKE, LOOK AT HIM PETTING DANIEL'S HEAD, LOOKING LIKE A PROUD UNCLE.
Literally, one of the cutest things I've ever seen in a long time in Lookism.
YUUUSSSSSS, JICHANG IS GONNA HELP HIM EVENTUALLY. 😭😭👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I hope they actually do make it to the First Affiliate though. But, if the Elder knew where he was, then does that mean that he knows that Jinyoung is not in his right mind? And does he know that he has people held captive in his little basement? 👀 *coughs* Daniel *coughs* Johan *coughs* Samuel... Sorry guys, I might be getting a cold. Idk what's going on with me.
Ohhhhhh shiiiii... Pls tell me we gonna see Jake here...
AHHHHHHHH I KNEW IT, JAKE!!! BABY BOY IS BACK!!!! 😭💙 Oh shit, I wOnDeR who THAT could be...
Tbh I'm not surprised that he said it was James Lee lol. It has been emphasized by Eugene before when he said in Ch. 432, that he was aware of the murder case that caught the attention of a lot of people. And he also mentioned how Charles Choi had been using blackmail on James Lee to control him in exchange of covering James's part of the murder. Also, earlier in that chapter, I was wondering why Charles would even bother to help in covering up a murder for James if that person that James murdered wasn't so important in the first place. If it was just a "nobody", then he would've just thrown that person somewhere, buried him, or burnt his body and converted it into ashes. Clearly, it all makes sense now. (Also, the red picture gave it away. lmao) AND JAKE, WITH THE TYPICAL "death stare" EXPRESSION WHEN HE FOUND OUT WHO THE MURDERER FOR HIS FATHER'S DEATH WAS??? Is he going to get revenge or something? 😭
But oh boy, James is really gonna get it eventually. Both him and Charles Choi. Actually, DEFINITELY Charles Choi. The guy is literally walking scum in the first place.
You see, Charles Choi is a clown... 😀 *end of argument*
I hope he does. Because if Charles Choi intercepts their operation, I'm going to sue. 😡
Ughhhh, bro... Don't make me cry again, please. 💀💀💀💀
Oh great, speak of the Devil. 👿 FUCK OFF CHARLES, AND STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR CRIMES, YOU ASSHOLE! 😤
NOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YOUUUUU CHARLES!!! GET AWAY FROM THE ELDER!!!! AGGHHHHHDSFHSDFHASDJDSHFLSD JICHANG!!!! BEAT HIS ASS!!!! TAKE HIS LIMBS OFF!!!! 😤😤😤😤😤
IT'S NOW OR NEVER, MF. I WANT THIS MAN TO SUFFER.
Wait, an "unknown car"? He MUST have a driver with him. Please tell me that his driver is none other than Gun/Goo... Ik this is wishful thinking, but I want to see them again. 😳
YEEEEEEESSSSSS JICHANG, SLAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY. SLAY KING, SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. 😩👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 HERE'S YOUR CROWN, KING OF CHUNGCHEONG'S KING OF SEOUL'S WHITE SNAKE!! 👑
By choking...? 💀 I mean, I've seen a big ass snake devour a huge animal before, so it's possible Charles. Don't doubt Jichang's abilities, because you might be surprised at how he could MURDER YOU ON SIGHT. 😡😡😡 (And oh god, looking at Elite's face still reminds me of my professor. 😭 *sobbing* But also, with a twist of Manager Kim too.)
I just want his ass to be wiped off the face of the Earth. Both him, and Eugene. But, wait... If Eugene and James Lee are conspiring AGAINST Charles Choi, and everyone else are conspiring against Charles Choi too, then... WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST UNITE AND BEAT CHARLES??? They all have a similar goal, yet they decided to do things their own way? Well, I get that they have ulterior motives/goals for them to take down Charles Choi, but at least make it easier for yourselves instead of just handling the crap on your own, right? Fight later, unite now. 🧍🏽♀️
Man, idk anymore. Just do whatever tf you guys want at this point. 😭
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Soup is for nerds
WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE!!
Welcome back to the Shaw Pack Mates Super top secret and totally unknown by anyone outside of the group groupchat. (Name trademarked by Angel.)
Whether these are real conversations I’ve overheard/seen/partaken in or not is entirely unknown and shall stay that way.
CW: Crack, Angel needs to learn what boundaries are but not in a toxic way, Sam is asking for a god to save him he’s not picky on which god he’ll even rely on science it doesn’t even need to be religious, Sweetheart please for the love of the universe put the cat down, Baabe why are you just sitting there laughing?
Actual CW: Crack, mentions to others being sneaky link/hoes/sluts but in a friendly platonic way, GN listeners. Any reference to gendered terms is purely for the memes and not to be taken seriously.
<-- Previous _______ Next -->
Redacted Masterlist
Angel: im so disappointed in u all
Sam: Oh dear. What’s upset you now?
Angel: is that lip im hearing
Baabe: if my boss finds out im on my phone right now im so dead. so whats wrong bb?
Sweetheart: Tracking down a covert breaker. Cant talk rn.
Sam: Now I’m actually concerned. Is this genuine, or is Angel being Angel again?
Angel: not one of u said ‘congrats on ur nuptials’
Sam: I wasn’t aware anyone called marriage nuptials anymore, but also if I’m not mistaken you two have yet to have your wedding since you both are still planning it?
Baabe: CONGRATS ON YOUR NUPTIALS YOU SILLY GOOSE
Angel: this is why im marrying with baabe
Baabe: LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS
Angel: ooooooo teeaaaaa
Sweetheart: That’s what he said.
Sam: I think one day I will gather the strength to leave this groupchat.
Angel: oh ill just add u back and then kidnap u to drag u to my basement so u cant ever try to leave me again
Sam: Angel what the fuck.
Angel: HE DIDNT USE A COMMA IM THE REAL WINNER HERE
Baabe: to defeat the huns~
Angel: im so upset rn its not even funny like i cant live laugh love under these conditions
Baabe: aweeee what’s wrong bby?
Sam: Is there something I could do to help? I will if I can.
Angel: hang on i gotta wait for sweetheart to respond so i can get all the attention necessary
Sweetheart: Sorry I was just filming a tiktok with Aggro. Whats up
Angel: perfect all my three hoes are here
Sam: I resent being called that, but I also recognize my powerlessness in getting you to change it, so continue.
Angel: do yall even have any clue how expensive it is to buy a mcdonalds bouncy house
Sweetheart: Why are you trying to buy a bouncy house
Baabe: ngl i’m kinda curious about that too
Angel: well i could just buy it because ur bitch is rich rich but i share a joint account with my mega alpha gigachad of a finance so i cant buy it without him noticing but i wanna keep it a surprise so theres just a bouncy house in our backyard when he comes home
Sam: Don’t you mean your ‘fiance’?
Angel: no i mean finance im just with davey for his money but my real loves is my three hoes in this gc
Sweetheart: Youre so romantic Angel
Baabe: ikr? like just marry me already
Angel: anyways this is my way of asking u to buy me a bouncy house who wants the privilege
Angel: DONT JUST LEAVE ME ON READ YOU SLUTS
Angel: SOS
Baabe: whats wrong sneaky link?
Sam: Once again, I am confused whether or not this is a serious thing or Angel is playing up the dramatics again.
Sweetheart: I can send you a picture of my son if that will help
Angel: yes pls i miss my baby boy
Angel: and also were out of sugary cereal and davey is making me eat his yucky worm food
Sweetheart: WHY DID YOU WRITE SOS? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY!
Baabe: dw bb i got u. just ask him why hes giving you his dog food.
Angel: oooo good idea hell take it away then and tell me to just starve and give me the chance to naruto run to sams house for breaky
Sam: Now hold on just a minute. I don’t recommend doing that Angel, also I don’t need to eat food and Darlin isn’t here for me to have any reason to make breakfast. I think you’ll survive a morning without your cereal.
Angel: YALL HE THREW A PLASTIC SPOON AT ME HALP
Baabe: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Sweetheart: rip
Angel: You’re next. - David
Baabe: oh fuck
Sweetheart: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Sam: rip
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FIRST OFF IM GONNA WRITE ABOUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WHW BARELY GETS RECOGNITION: 2p China
Full name: Zao Wang
*smol but tall
* 5'10
* looks about 25
* Nice long hair
* Wears it half up half down
* Or in a bun
* Kinda lowkey shredded
* Abs
* very attractive
* skin is usually pale in the winter and somehow always has a tan by the time summer rolls around
* for some reason I believe Zao adopts the American culture really well
* i see him thriving in San Francisco or Los Angeles
* like he’s a west coaster
* sun, beach, babes, that’s all he needs
*he loves Chinese food but he also loves trying food from other cultures
* major foodie
* also I imagine him being a gym freak but only because he uses the gym to get with girls
* he looooovesssss attention
* lowkey a whore
* Memes
* Breathes m e m e s
* his personality is insufferable
* like he can be so annoying
* On twitter 25/8
* Hyena laughs
* Nice ass smile tho
* "Psst everyone turn your air drop on."
* Airdrops literally the dumbest things
* Almost never wears hoodies
* "It's suffocating."
* loves basketball and hip hop culture for some reason
* Plays basketball really well
* you can catch him playing pick up games in Venice Beach with Allen
* Point guard
* Zao is Yao's younger brother
* Loves pissing Yao off
* He lives to do so
* that one guy who swears he knew the song before everyone else
* "I knew that song before it was cool."
* Rich kid
* Yao's his older brother so of course that's his money plug
* Drives a nice ass car even though he doesn’t deserve it
* Spends his money on drugs and name brand stuff
*C R A D L E R O C K E R
* this man loves younger women (Ik it’s weird…)
* Best friends with Allen and Lutz
* They all do illegal shit together
* they Live with each other which is complete and utter chaos
* Attends meetings but goofs tf off
* Doesn't take notes
* Gets all his work done the day before or the day it's due
* loves action movies
* rlly big Marvel movie fan
* he’s seen every single one
* I believe he’s a simp but only for the right girl
* this man takes substance abuse to the next level
*that’s all I’ll say abt that
* he’s rlly nice tho
* pls be his friend
* loves video games
///andddd that’s all I got for now. Feel free to chime in and tell me what you think or who you want to see next. I love Zao sm he’s my lil babey. But yeah see ya!!!///
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System collapse notes made as I read:
(Spoilers, obvs, mostly out of context)
Amazing opening page as usual. This feels like coming home I'm so happy
Side note, "one of you" - like, is this being delivered to an actual audience, or does mb just like to pretend it is? I know it's just an in-universe excuse for the conceit but either option is so good
ART canon tax fraud?? ART canon embezzlement???
ART @ BE ship: "people die in car crashes all the time. I just thought that was interesting :)"
The note about iris having grown up alongside ART is so funny. And the note about her being ART's ratthi is so sweet from both sides of that comparison
I adore Three so much. The fucking baby deer comparison killed me this poor construct
I could be misremembering but it feels like secunit's narration has more colloquialisms than before, which is fun if I'm right
Love than mb and mensah have the exact same reaction to the extra settlement lmao. Handshake meme
ARGUCUSSION
SECUNIT YOUR BOUNDARIES. YOUR NEEDS. PLEASE STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOU'RE FINE
"Fun stuff like space battles and rescuing people and space monsters and throwing asteroids at planets" this bot loves its cheesy tv so much I'm gonna cry
WHY DO YOU KEEP REDACTING THINGS SECUNIT PLS THIS IS STRESSFUL. I can't tell if this is it editing out trauma discussion or something else
Mb casually using ART as a dictionary lmao
Oh god is it hurting over 2.0 specifically. Oh man of course it is. God this poor bot I'm so 😭
Mb and ART working as a team so fluidly.... best friends......
Ratthi can tell secunit is busy thinking/working just by glancing at it.... FRIENDS.....
"SENTIENCE SUCKS" LMAO. YEAH OKAY WE'VE ALL FELT THAT
MB JUST HAS THE VIDEO FILE OF RATTHI ALMOST GETTING EATEN BY A WORM ON HAND. AMAZING
Mb and pin-lee bonding over watching scifi car crash videos. Incredible
SECUNIT THE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE TENDENCIES. LITERALLY TRYING TO JUMP OUT OF A PLANE WITHOUT A PARACHUTE. PLEASE
I'm gonna cry pls mb stop beating yourself up for being traumatised. This is exactly what you were giving mensah shit about!!!!!
"It was always my job to get hurt" I Am Going To Fucking Cry
CITING ITS SOURCE ON THE PRE CR HISTORY LESSON LMAO
God I feel like this poor bot spent six books building up its confidence and it's all just been shattered after the thing with 2.0. Like it's so palpable in the narration that it thinks it's broken in some way and is forcing itself to carry on regardless but with no regard for its own survival, which has always been of pretty high priority for it even in ASR!! It's let itself get beaten up in the other books but it's never been reckless like this. Mb please stop punishing yourself.....
Ohh tarik and mb shared corpo trauma..... can we talk about that maybe
Ratthi correcting iris about the ex-secunit thing.... ouuououugghghh
"Under normal circumstances that would be kind of hilarious" mb honey as a reader. That IS hilarious
Mb "so is this guy your..... ex-security..... not that I'm feeling jealous or insecure rn....."
HEY GUYS YOU EVER HAVE A PTSD FLASHBACK SO BAD YOU PASS OUT. GUYS
HEY GUYS HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR BRAIN-CRASHING PTSD FLASHBACK ANALYSED IN DETAIL BY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE YOU WANT TO RESPECT YOU
Mb once again having the worst time of its life but being offered a media archive by a friendly bot: oh fuck yes hello there
Ooooh pre-corpo media no less......
THE ART THERAPY-SPEAK..... "that’s for humans" "this affects the part of you that is human" I'm going to yell and yell and yell
"No, it doesn't read my mind, it just knows me really well" 🥺
I feel like MW has gotten more up to date on current gender/pronoun usage since the earlier books which is nice to see. We've had neopronouns before but having pronouns attached to feed/character intros is new and appreciated
Mb: "aw fuck am I being tall and intimidating again"
Local secunit physically repelled by power phrase "sexual discussion" like a fucking skyrim shout
VISUAL EQUIVALENT OF A WET BLANKET..... SECUNIT......
OHH...... OHHHHH!!!!! OHH MY GOD THE. IS THIS THE. WHEN I TALKED ABOUT THE CONCEIT EARLIER.........
Oh okay no BUT MURDERBOT NEW CREATIVE DIRECTOR POSITION BABEY!!!!!
And ratthi is so supportive. God I'm so. AAAAUGH
Just patch out the anxiety lmao. New mental illness fix dropped please restart your OS to apply
Telling your bestie to fuck off IS a kind of love language and I'm glad that ART appreciates it 😌
LITERALLY "(INTERNAL SCREAMING)". LMAO
Mb literally in a life or death situ rn: I could just burn part of this person's brain out to save us..... that seems mean though :/
"I lack a sense of proportional response" LMAO ART. At least it's self-aware
"I didn't come here to make friends" says the secunit who literally cannot go anywhere without forming some kind of allyship with someone
The delayed-hack though, that's fun. Wonder whether this file is gonna slowly make its way from CR secunit to CR secunit as mb gradually becomes some kind of mythic figure, lmao
"Be safe" 🥺
FINAL GIRL IS OUT. FINAL DRONE IS IN
ART: "Oooh you guys care about me ^^ lol"
LMAO ART YOUNGER SIBLING BEHAVIOUR
ALSO YES SET THREE UP WITH THE OTHER CRAZY SMART AI THEY CAN ALL GET A SECUNIT BESTIE!!!!
Murderbot trauma acknowledgement 😌 You go working through your feelings mb you're doing so well ily
WHERE ARE WE GOING NEXXXTTTT THAT IS INDEED THE QUESTION!!!
Summary thoughts: this was really good and I like that MW has taken the time to address the NE fallout before moving on to whatever is coming next, I'm mostly just excited for that whatever-comes-next now. I didn't expect this story to still be focused on the same planet, but it's cool that it was! And now we're moving on with more machine intelligences and rogue secunits in play!! And they mentioned the comfortunit from artificial condition so hopefully that'll come back into play soon as well! I feel like something is building up wrt construct rights in the setting and I'm very excited to see that, but in the meantime I loved getting this familiar romp through MB having a very bad day and working through its emotions while also trying not to die. And it was fun having the twist on the usual formula with things being so isolated and it having to handle everything while being off its game, it felt a lot more tense than some of the other entries just by virtue of the fact that MB's narration was so much less confident than usual, and it made it really nice to hear the fire come back to its voice once we hit that point in the story. 11/10 as usual I love this bot so goddamn much
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