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sweatergirlsposts · 4 years

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Imagine Nancy Trying To Find You After The Events at The Star Court Mall

Title: My Savior

Pairing: Nancy Wheeler x Fem Plus-Size!Reader

Request By: @soggy-enchilada

Warning: Mention of Blood and little angst

Worry is all that flooded Nancy’s mind.

The disappearance of so many people, due to the events at Start Court Mall, made the town distraught as they tried to find their loved ones. So many were consumed and flayed to make the body mass of the mindflayer. Nancy knew that everyone in her family was safe as they went back home after the event of that night but there was one person she was fretting over. You.

You, her axe wielding outdoorsy rescuer who she secretly was smitten for. When Johnathan and Nancy went out looking for Barb and Will, you had been in the area. You were collecting wood for your hidden cottage when you felt yourself being watched. Dropping the forgotten kindling on the forest floor, you held you axe in hand to protect you from whatever unknown that was in the forest.

“NANCY!”

“JOHNATHAN!”

You heard screams coming from not too far away.

‘What the hell are people doing out so late in the forest?!’ you thought. At least you knew the forest like the back of your hand, unlike the locals who were out here with you. Still being cautious about whatever was watching, you followed the sound of the screams holding your axe ready to attack.

You found the boy first. Slightly lanky in posture, bowl cut hair, adorned in a black jean jacket and flashlight in hand. A foul smell lingered in the air of similar odor to decaying animal flesh. You noted the smell earlier when you first ventured into the woods that night but never thought to go investigate. The smell was the strongest here.

“Nancy?” the boy called out getting on all fours in front of a tree. You observed from behind a tree close by, wondering why he was talking to the stump part of the tree. Not to seconds later you could see a hand emerge from the stump, making the boy jump backwards. From your view from behind a substantial tree, it scared you half to death to see a slimy small human hand emerge from the tree. You crouch down in the wilderness, slowly making your way closer to what’s happening. You wanted to be close enough if you had to step in but far enough to be able to run away.

“JOHNATHAN!” a voice screamed coming from the tree. Johnathan, you assumed, responded immediately after being startled by the hand before calling out to the voice.

“Nancy!?” Johnathan scrambled to reach for the hand popping out of tree and started pulling like he was in a game of tug-o-war. Pulling with all his might, he dragged her out from the slimy abyss in the tree, and she landed on top of his form.

Thinking that she was free, Nancy let out a long held frightened sigh at what just happened to her. Where did she go? What was that thing?! Flooded her shaken mind. All that mattered was that she was out of there and was now safe.......or so she thought.

Gone without notice to the locals, except you, materialized an appendage of some sort that reached through the flesh veiled cavity. What looked to be a clawed hand unfurled from the form of a fist and seized the teenage girl by the foot.

‘It’s got me,’ is the only singular thought that popped into Nancy’s brain as she felt her heart drop to the bottom of her toes where the creature had a grasp on her and tugged. Nancy let out a yelp as she felt herself being tugged backwards towards the hole, startling Johnathan. It took him a couple of seconds to realize until he felt Nancy being pulled off of him.

“Hold on Nance!” Johnathan clambered back onto his feet before grabbing under her arms and tugged back. The creature was strong and Johnathan could feel his feet starting to give out beneath him.

“Don’t let me go!”

“I won’t!”

It was now or never you thought. You let the creature get to the locals or you help out. You chose the latter. You ran from behind your new hiding spot behind a fallen tree, axe glistening in the moonlight, ready to help the locals.

Too focused on the monster grabbing Nancy’s leg, neither Johnathan and Nancy noticed your incoming approach. Johnathan gave one massive tug, exposing the arm further out from the decaying hole.

You wound up for the swing, axe coming from directly behind your head down onto the creatures extremity. Clean cut to the bone off came whatever limb that tried to grab the poor girls leg. Thank god you had sharpened your axe that morning.

The creature let out a haunting shriek feeling the detachment of it’s limb to it’s body and retreated the rest of the limb back to through the flesh veil.

You looked at where the girl was pulled out of. It was some type of fleshly decaying hole that was closing as to be no longer used and revert back into the bark and wood it originally was.

The detached hand laid limp on the ground. You bring the axe down one more time to make sure that it wouldn’t suddenly start moving. You had seen John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ too many times to know to always make sure it was really dead. You could feel small splotches of blood from the creature on your round cheeks as if they were supposed to be freckles.

You took a couple of breaths trying to calm down from the sudden adrenaline rush before turning to the two horrified teenagers still on the ground.

You dropped the axe to the side to make yourself less intimidating to them and spoke, “What the hell are you guys doing out here?”

“We could ask you the same,” spoke Johnathan.

“I live out here,” you stopped before offering each of them a hand. They looked at each other and then decided to take your hand. Johnathan got up with your help fine, but Nancy stumbled into your stocky form.

“Woah there, you’re probably feeling some effects of shock...” you trailed off trying to get a name from the girl

“Nancy, and this is Johnathan,” she motioned to Johnathan behind her as she moved back from you regaining her footing, “How did you find us?”

“Well when your screaming bloody murder it’s not that hard to find someone. You guys had let the whole forest know you’re out here. You guys should come with me if you want to survive the night out here,” you warned them.

Nancy could feel the genuineness in your words, after all you just saved her from that thing. Nancy was about to take a step forward to follow you, but Johnathan held out an arm to stop her.

“Wait. Why should we go with you?” Johnathan sized you up, trying to tell if you had other intentions. You didn’t like when people would give you once overs, especially after you save their life.

“Do I need to remind you that I just saved you and your friend here,” you scoffed, “besides I know the forest like the back of my hand. I can show you back wherever you came from in the morning, it’s too dangerous to go now. I have a cottage that’s a five minute walk from here, but it’s fine by me if you get lost. I was just trying to help,” you picked up your axe and rotated to the walking direction of your cabin.

“Wait we’re coming,” Nancy spoke up gathering her bearings and grabbing Johnathan by the arm and dragging him along.

Nancy was thankful that she followed back to your cottage instead of getting lost that night in the woods. Over the next two years, Nancy would visit once a week. Being saved from a monster can really bond two people together.

A lot of the time she would help tend to the greenery placed in your cottage. You had an affinity for growing plants, flowers, and natural herbs in your house. In addition to your indoor plants, you kept a small self built green house in the back where you held all your vegetables and fruits. In the spring and summer, elegant colourful flowers would surround your property like it had came straight out of a fairy-tale.

Being around you was very calming, Nancy thought in comparison to the monster hunting life, it was peaceful almost. She could see why you liked living here in the woods.

You told her that your parents had home schooled you in the cabin up until last year when they had their ‘car accident’. There was two reasons why you stayed out of suburban Hawkins and lived in the forest you told her. You stayed because it’s your parents house and it was the only thing you had let of them and you don’t think that Hawkins would be very accepting of you per say.

You waited a year of knowing Nancy, before you officially told her of your liking towards the same sex. Instead of revolting away in disgust or showing if she uncomfortable, she sat there shocked, not in a bad way but just in surprise. You told that she wouldn’t have to worry about you liking her or any of the sort, you told her that you just wanted to get it off your chest.

It might have stopped your crush from ever growing bigger than it already was on Nancy but it didn’t stop hers. Yes she might have went out with Steve and Johnathan, and liked being with them, but that didn’t stop from hiding her curiosity towards you.

Nancy was worried when she hadn't heard from you in the days leading up to the battle of Star Court, but she was so caught up in everything that she didn’t have time to make a trip out to you in the forest. When she learned that Brimborn Steel Works, the breeding ground for the mind-flayer was near your property, she hopped into her mom’s station wagon and sped to your property, giving no regard for the speed limit on the road.

Pulling up onto the dirt road path that lead up to your house, she spotted your red Chevy LUV pickup at the side of the cottage in it’s usual spot. That meant one of two things to Nancy. You were either inside live and well tending to your plants or not inside at all and had been taken by Billy Hargrove to be used by-

Nancy didn’t even want to think of the possibility of you being dead.

Nancy pulled on the sleeves of the sweater she wore. It was actually your sweater. You gave her the sweater that night as something temporary to use for clothing instead of wearing the mucus-caked one’s she had on. It was a bit big on her petite form but kept her warm nonetheless. She never really gave it back, but you didn’t mind her wearing it. It looked better on her, you’d believe as you’d try to suppress a smile.

Nancy got out of the and took notice that the flowers had been wilting while some had died and looked to be rotted.....just like the pumpkins on the Wright farm pumpkin patch last year.

Nance could feel the spike of fear stabbing her heart and rushed over to your front door banging on it to see if you were home.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)” Nancy shouted still pounding of the door.

No use. Nance went to the side window where your bedroom was. Everything looked still and untouched in your bedroom. On the inside window sill sat the small fern plant that Nancy had bought you for your birthday a couple months ago. The fern was no longer a bright and lively green but now shriveled and looking ready to turn to dust.

Nancy went back to your front door and tried banging again. No answer. You would have answered though. The only people that visited you were her and Johnathan.

‘No answer, wilted flowers, dead fern, untouched room, no answer, rotten flowers, dead fern, untouched room’

Nancy collapsed to the ground knowing the worst happened.

It got you.

Quiet sobs racked her form as she felt her heart rip string by string. She lost her savior.

You had just finished cutting down logs for the day in the forest. Wheelbarrowing them back to the cottage, you noticed Nancy’s mom’s station wagon on your dirt path. You put the wheelbarrow down and jogged down the path to your cottage.

You were so worried about Nancy(more than anyone) and everyone especially since the steel works was on your way to town and you knew that that thing was there. You didn’t want to risk going into town if it meant risking your life against that abomination. You guess that they took care of it if that meant Nancy is here.

You looked at your porch as you jogged to your cottage and notice a petite form, one that you could recognize anywhere, curled in a ball on it.

“NANCY!” you shouted still jogging over, “NANCY!”

She heard her name and lifted her head. There you were, coming over like a dream that she made up in her head to console her about your death. But you were too real for her to be imagining right then. She wiped the tear tracks from her face and then clambered to get up and run to you.

Nancy ran into you not wasting any second longer to be consoled by you in your comforting soft arms.

“I thought you were dead!” Nancy cried into strong shoulder, hugging you, “Please don’t ever scare me like that (Y/N)! I can’t loose you”

“Hey, hey it’s alright Nancy Drew. I’m here, I’m alive” you pressed a comforting kiss against her forehead.

“But but the flowers! You didn’t answer, I thought they took you,” Nancy whimpered still in slight hysterics.

“Nance everything is okay, well maybe not the flowers, but I’m fine. I was just out chopping wood. I had to make some of the flowers wilt in case anyone came around and thought I was here and take me. But hey, I’m not going anywhere,” you leaned your forehead against hers

“Promise?”

“What kind of savior would I be?”.

MASTERLIST

#nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler x reader #nancy wheeler imagine #nancy wheeler imagines #nancy wheeler oneshot #stranger things #stranger things imagines #stranger things season 3 #stranger things season 1 #stranger things x reader #nancy wheeler x fem!reader #nancy wheeler x plus-size!reader #nancy wheeler x plus size!reader #nancy wheeler x plussize!reader #x reader #reader #imagines

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icecreamkink · 3 years

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so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence .... but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured.

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot” that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird.

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong!

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that?

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation, and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like Like them, as in, personality wise

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues,

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon,

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying!

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses?

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :(

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture... uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@ johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart.

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

#m.#did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should #watch karate kid over the holidays?#and then binged the whole thing in two days??#mayhaps and what abt it #cobra kai #the karate kid #its funn #y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say #it was like particularly special for me?#like i wasnt in a fandom or anything #but now.#i might be invested #maybe #talvez

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blxssom-221 · 4 years

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Supernatural season 15 episode 9 thoughts (SPOILERS)

Let’s start with the things that had me flailing my arms:

JACK KLINE AND BILLY!!!

I REPEAT J A C K K L I NE & B I L L Y!! MY CHILD IS BACK! I REPEAT MY CHILD IS BACK!! (I mean like I knew he would be back but it’s been like weeks since I saw him sooo...)

Supernatural: the only show where you will find people hating on God but loving Satan’s kid and death

I mean can you think about?! Freaking death herself and a nephilim teaming up together to take down Chuck? What. A. Powerful. Freaking. Duo!!

After all that crazy, intense stuff that was happening, seeing Jack at the end of the episode was a FREAKING WIN!!

I didn’t realized how much I missed that nougat loving child until I saw him

“Dean. You asked what about all of this is real? WE ARE”

“After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore” Saileen kiss “I KNOW THAT WAS REAL”

“JUST STOP BEING SO STUPID” 😂

I think I just found my new kink...

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Castiel was once a SOLDIER THAT has led an ARMY. I’m so glad that these past few episodes shows how much of a badass Cas really is and how he’s not willing to take Dean’s bullshit anymore

Like you go sweetheart! You’re doing amazing!!👏🏻👏🏻

And also...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DID YOU SEE T H E I R E Y E S?!?!?!

DEAN WAS SO HAPPY AND RELIEVED TO SEE HIM!

When Dean called Cas his “best friend” while praying to him, I was just like: okay... okay, whatever. This is why I wear a permanent clown mask. Bestfriend my ass...

(“Just friends”, huh? Well “just friends” don’t steal secret glances at each other. “Just friends” don’t get jealous when the other one talks about someone else. “Just friends” don’t get butterflies from each other. “Just friends” don’t hold each other like that. “Just friends?” Yeah right.)

But then again, (and this is the clown mask talking) sometimes best friends are often linked to friends-to-lovers trope and “my husband/wife is my best friend”

Doesn’t make sense, yea I know, but like I said clown mask

At least we got a somewhat love declaration from Dean

That prayer... OMG

I was on the edge of my freaking seat the whole time! I mean that was some intense level of fanfiction over there

Destiel really graduated from eye-fucking to eye-lovemaking

(I’m surprised the empty didn’t take Cas right then and there but thank goodness it didn’t)

When Dean FINALLY acknowledges his anger as his flaw, that was freaking refreshing! He finally understands that his anger is what pushes people away. And you know what makes me happy? That is Cas that made him realize how his anger affects the people around him

Now the things that made me ball my eyes out/shout into oblivion:

While watching Chuck slowly strip Sam’s hope away from him, I felt so angry but I mostly felt sadness

Because this is Sam, guys! This is the guy who who always see the light at the end of the tunnel, the one who always fought for his family and friends when they couldn’t.

Now all he probably feels is despair. But I have hope still

God may be powerful but he isn’t that powerful enough to break Sam Winchester

Speaking of God, WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS USING OUR SWEET EILEEN LIKE A PUPPET?!

SOMEBODY HOLD ME BACK CAUSE IMMA SNATCH THIS HOE’S WEAVE

That prayer and hug scene... I-I have no words for that... Jensen Ackles deserves an Oscar award

If you think about it, a part of Dean probably thought Cas was dead and can you imagine how shattered he must’ve felt while searching for him? Like you saw how desperate he was. He’s mind was solely focused on Castiel.

To find him, make sure he’s alive, kind of paralleling their first time in the Purgatory. He saw he only had two min. left and any other person would’ve ran back to the portal so they wouldn’t get stuck and plan another way to get that flower.

But not if it’s Cas. Dean would not be able to stomach it if Cas died or if he left him with their relationship still in a rocky place. You saw that he was ready to stay. He wanted to stay because, like the last time, his basic instinct came forward. There’s no life on earth without Cas

(Plus when Sam saw the future, you saw how depressed Dean became, how he felt there’s no point in fighting anymore since Cas died and he had to bury him. Second time that happened.)

BENNY!!!

ANOTHER REASON WHY I WAS EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE WAS THAT WE MIGHT SEE BENNY

BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? HE DIED

CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS STOP DYING?! THE AUDACITY!!!

I’M STARTING TO THINK DEATH IS THE NEW TREND THESE DAYS

Also...

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FUTURE?!?!

I will RIOT if the big finale ends with Team Free Will’s work being worthless and them turning into monsters to kill their friends

Oh, and another thing...

WHAT TYPE ANGSTY FANFIC IS THIS?!

And this is basically him saying that he would’ve stayed even after just saying that he needs to move on if Dean would’ve just STOP HIM!!

I need a drink...

Conclusion

I feel like Jack (and Cas) is the key to defeating Chuck. I created this post a few days back, but to summarize it, I feel like Jack will bring paradise back on earth similar to what Cas’ vision showed him by defeating Chuck and getting rid of all those demons and monsters Chuck released on earth.

And Castiel, he was never part of Chuck’s stories, same with Jack. He keeps on not including them to his stories, it’s like they don’t even exist in his mind. But they keep coming back. Especially Cas. He’s the one who’s been defying destiny and doing the complete opposite of what was expected of him.

The rebellious angel

And it looks like Jack is following in his footsteps.

Jack is supposed to be dead. I’m pretty sure Chuck isn’t expecting for him to return but with the help of Billy, he will and he’s going to be a big part to defeating Chuck.

Another thing I want to conclude with...

Dean’s biggest fear is losing Cas. For years, he had done nothing but direct his anger to Cas and take him for granted, even though I know what sometimes he doesn’t mean to.

But every time, Cas came back. He just bows his head and takes it. But not anymore. He stood up to Dean and left because it was what was best for him. He knows his worth and he’ll no longer be treated badly by Dean.

But of course Cas will still end up coming back. He’ll still help and everything but doesn’t mean he’ll just easily let Dean get away with what he did. That’s why he’s so distant. He’ll forgive Dean, of course he will but first he’ll have to own up to his mistakes

And Dean? He realized this. It took losing Cas to realize how much of a jerk he’s been. And whether be it the past, present or future, losing Cas will shatter him. (As seen in the future, how he felt like there’s nothing left to fight for)

It’s kind of bittersweet how Sam has lost all hope and this time it’s Dean who’s keeping that faith alive between them

I also hope Michael/Adam and Amara and Queen Rowena helps Team Free Will 2.0

Just imagine how powerful and badass they would be

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almaasi · 4 years

Text

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x08 “Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven”

THEY JUST. SENT DEAN AND CAS. TO PICK SYMBOLIC “BINDING” FLOWERS ???

06:16pm

probably gonna have to stop in 1 minute for dinner but let’s see what’s happening this week in Mr. Taco/Hotdog Pines For Angel But Isn’t Sure If God Commanded It

06:18

OH YEAH ADAM

forgot about him

06:19

hmm “lucky elephant” casino/bar

1. pink elephants = drunk baby dumbo trippin balls

2. kinda looks like a dick

06:23

the hell is wrong with sam’s face?? he’s looked SO tense and uncomfortable these last episodes

06:24

sam eating salad and eileen eating a burger

given how much food symbolises in this show......i...... kinda wanna say that it means sam sees eileen as a sibling??????? given burgers are bro dean and cas’ thing

either that or she’s one of the family, but then what does it mean about sam’s salad being the odd one out?

....i typed samily there

anyway i wonder if, given how eileen/sam parallels dean/cas, it’s gonna become a thing like “hey eileen i see you as a sibling” vs. dean and cas “cas i love you like a brother” / “BUT DEAN I LOVE YOU IN THE ROMANTIC WAY”

06:27

does dean not know what “achilles heel” means

06:28

why is there porn music playing as cas knocks on a door

is dean gonna be naked on the other side

are they playing babysitter and affronted neighbour housebreaker

.....just saying okay that comedy sting was weirdly placed

06:30

i love that cas is like straight-up Still Here

he was like I’M LEAVING FOREVER and then dean’s like “hey i know i said you ruin everything but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

wish we could’ve had that as an actual scene though

06:37

dean: but cas if u wanna stay here, why don’t you stay here

RUDE

FUCK I HATE THE KNIFE HAND THING

they almost........ touch hand.........

/14 blush emojis

cas uses last of power to make dean feel okie dokie

IS HE GONNA FALL FOR DEAN AGAIN

06:40

welp dinnertime back laterrr

07:50pm

watched the end of “the prince of egypt” and my father (an atheist) was very insistent on proving it factually incorrect while I JUST WANNA WATCH THE ANIMATED MOVIE DUDE

hokay where were we

oh yeah cas was trying really hard not to hold dean’s hand

07:54

team free will enter hell and are attacked by three lady demons

for some reason i’m thinking of cerberus, the three-headed dog who guards the gates of hell

07:55

OMG OMGO OmG OmG ROWENA

DID SHE BECOME QUEEN OF HELL

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES

THIS IS THE CHARACTER ARC SHE NEEDED

THOSE BRAIDS

07:57

someday i wanna do makeup as well as rowena’s makeup magically manifests. that glitter eyeliner over the black wing is mmmmmmmmmmmm

08:00

ahh bless

a bechdel test pass

it’s been too long

*edit* BUT DID THIS EVEN COUNT??? IF SUE IS NOT SUE

queen of hell suits rowena better than any dress she’s ever worn

so we’ve got rowena as queen of hell, billie as death.... need one more lady in charge of heaven to complete a power trio OH YEAH AMARA. god yes give me that......... pun intended i guess

08:03

rowena after looking at dean and cas for 1 second: “what am i picking up from you two? tell auntie rowena”

ROWENA IS THE BEST I LOVE HER SO MUCH

two grumpy grumble butts: “it’s fine”

WOW

YOU HEARD THE QUEEN OF FUCKING HELL YOU TWO

FIX YOUR DAMN PROBLEMS THIS INSTANT

SAM WHAT TERRIBLE TIMING

jeez they really don’t wanna have that conversation in front of an audience

someday they better get NOT FUCKING INTERRUPTED

knock knock

who’s there

interrupting moose

08:09

adam’s facial expressions look so much like dean’s

08:11

for some reason i was just watching dean say “i didn’t wanna jinx it” and looking at his eyelashes and then involuntarily imagined him wearing rowena’s fake lashes

it was a good look

dean looks so, sooo pretty in this blue shirt

maybe blue for cas’ eyes

08:17

cas says to micheal “your father is certainly not who you knew” but not “our father” as in chuck is no longer his father

“you called me assbutt and set me on fire”

yeah pretty much iconic, no?

oohh jeez poor michael, poor adam

sent to hell, comes back and is aggressively greeted by the same assholes who sent him there

dean put a black armour jacket over his vulnerable blue one to talk to adam

08:32

dean sees cas sitting alone and gets himself a beer without offering one for cas

ohhhh that hurts

/takes screenshots of cas’ side profile

what a good profile

dean’s back in his blue vulnerability shirt

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH SEND DEAN AND CAS BACK TO PURGATORY TO FETCH A FLOWER OF SYMBOLIC “BINDING” YES

FIX THE STORY WITH THEIR LOVE

*edit* ............hey. heyheyheyhey does anyone remember those promo posters from season 8 of dean poking his head out around a tree in purgatory and there was a flower there?? and as far as i know we never actually saw the flower in canon and it was Weird? foRESHADOWING or ?????? hindshadowing?

no michael’s not coming on your gay flower road trip, dean

no third wheel this time thank u

TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED PLEASE

michael is literally just....sending dean and cas to pick flowers together

08:41

it’s over

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS 10/10 THAT WAS GREAT

I LOVE THE SETUP FOR WHERE THIS IS GOING

rowena as queen of hell 15/10 best thing that ever happened on this show

adam getting his apology and peaceing out yes good

SENDING DEAN AND CAS TO PICK FLOWERS IN FUCKING PURGATORY THE LAND OF THEIR YEAR OF PINING HELL YES

i love how self-referential this whole story has become and it’s so GOOD to have all these loose ends come back to hopefully be tied up one by one

i just....... i just checked the writer for this episode and i AM AMAZED it’s a deadly duo episode?????????????????????? H O W

bechdel test pass?? holy shit (well...... i doubt this now but still)

only woman who died was lilith and she was awful

unless you count sue but i don’t think sue was real to begin with

and there was a black guy.... with lines.... who didn’t die??? astonishing

also the pacing was like... good or whatever. at least i didn’t think it was patchy like their episodes usually are. and the script wasn’t bland and boring ?? what is happening here

PLUS ROWENA POINTING OUT THAT THERE’S soMethING GoiNg On between dean and cas which draws attention to it for later resolution, despite the audience already knowing they had a tiff

colour me impressed, anyway

#our father who aren't in heaven #spn #spn spoilers #Elmie watches things #post of postiness #season 15 #15x08 #Destiel #Destiel breakup

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

Text

Survey #206

“have you ever wished for death and prayed all night for your last breath?”

Do you always read the book before you see a movie based on a book? No. When you’re out with friends, do they ever encourage you to spend money you should be saving? 1.) I don't hang out w/ anyone now, 2.) but even when I did, they all knew I didn't make money. Is there anything you’re trying to save up money for? What? Perpetually tattoos, I want a PS4 super badly to play a novel of games I've been dying to play (SotC and Spyro trilogy remaster, I'm @ing you so hard), I need a car soon as I plan to at least try and get my license in the near future, I'd love to always have enough to immediately go to Sara's in case of an emergency, a trip to South Africa... but those are gonna take a good while to complete. I have my priorities straight for when I get a job. Have you ever watched a movie you didn’t really want to see just because a friend asked you to? Yeah. Did you end up liking the movie, anyway? There's been many cases of the above situation, so I'm sure in some instances I have. Heard any great songs for the first time lately? What songs? Hmmm, quite a number. "Radio" by Rammstein is great, and I love "bury a friend" and "bad guy" by Billie Eilish. What is your favorite urban legend? m o t h m a n and the joysey devil. Probably top two. GAH I love so many though????????????? Like Skinwalkers?????????????? And WENDIGOS????????? Have you seen all the cool shit?????????????? Do you remember the last nightmare you had? What was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever hopped on any bandwagons? HAHA. Freshman year, high school... I "liked" screamo or alternative-type bands I'd barely ever listened to or even enjoyed to fit in with the emos aldkjfalkwejr. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? Definitely not a complete one, but I can get pretty annoyed if in WoW we're in a heroic dungeon and people don't know the mechanics you should have already learned + read new ones that're right there in the goddamn journal laksdjfaoweir and then some people just totally ignore your advice and alskdjfwleiruwqoeif x2. Then again I've been that confused asshole in a couple raiding situations BUT LOOK they're harder and I had too much to catch up on okay. Still no excuse by WHATEVER. Have elitists on a fansite ever intimidated or talked down to you? I don't believe so. Is there anything you swear you will never do again? A few things with certainty. How late do you usually stay awake? I can literally go to bed as early as 7 to as late as 11 or rarely later. I do NOT have a schedule. Started months ago, and at first it frustrated and stressed me out quite a bit, but by now, I've just accepted it for me. Do you have pets? If so, how did you choose their names? Teddy: sister named him, but I'm sure it was the "cute as a teddy bear" type thing; Bentley: no clue; Roman: it sounded majestic, cats are majestic; Venus: pretty, and her coloration is similar to the planet; Kaiju: totally badass for an iguana that's gonna grow to be a big 'ole scaly boy; and Mitsu: I had a theme of giving my rats cutesy "M" names. Do you ever buy special treats for your pets? Occasionally. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? Did a middle school student write this? If you're pretty fond of something, there you go, you're a fan. Sure, some are more intense, but that doesn't make the more casual ones not "real." What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? Idk, I don't pay attention. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? Christ, without. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? HA. No. It is RARE I'll find a cute one, and that's always only online. Make pretty ones for plus-sized women a normal find, jfc. Idk why, but I am very picky with bras. Like good fucking luck seeing me without a shirt, so like,,,, why do I bother????? What length do you like your shorts to be? UM you will NOT see me in SHORTS. Have you ever cut off jeans or other pants and made them into shorts? Perhaps Mom has when I was a kid? But I have no memory of this ever happening. Have you cut the sleeves out of T-shirts to make tank tops? I don't think so. Have you ever modified a piece of clothing and hated how it turned out? ^ What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Ah jeez, what's the last time I even watched one. Idk. What was the last disappointing book you read? And I haven't read a book in even longer. Is there anything you’re really excited about? JOB. OPPORTUNITIES. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Vines, like shit dude. I can go on massive binges. What was the last thing you rolled your eyes about? I don't recall. What would you consider the greatest song ever recorded? Why? Yeesh, that's a big thing to decide. I recently discovered "A Reason to Fight" by Disturbed though, and it is. Incredible. Just read the lyrics to refresh my mind, and yeah, goosebumps. Do you like Hellboy? If so, do you prefer the old movies or the new one? Never seen any. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Dory, probably. But man, there's too many to choose from. Last thing you purchased just for fun? *shrugs* Do you even like behind-the-scenes stuff or does it ruin the magic for you? IF I'm real into the product, I love that stuff!! I've seen like every little BTS Silent Hill thing there is, probably, multiple hours' worth. What is your favorite thing about Mac computers? They're small and lightweight. What is your favorite thing about PCs? They generally hold much more memory. What are some errands you need to run soon? I don't have "errands" yet. Have your parents ever tried to convince people there was something wrong with you, when their “diagnosis” wasn’t accurate? No. List 3 of your best memories, times you wish you could go back and repeat. In no order, just as they come to me: 1.) First hug with Sara when we met at the airport; 2.) THE LOOK ON SARA'S FACE when she saw me in her room on her birthday (probably fave memory of all time, actually); 3.) seeing meerkats for the first time at the zoo. Ohhhh or maybe the true realization I was happy without Jason. But idk, that was SUCH a gradual process where I didn't feel ecstasy in like one moment. What color was your high school graduation gown? Ew, it was this obnoxious red. The majority apparently voted for it, while I was on the navy team. Are your parents’ dreams for your life different than your own? Mom's pretty dead-set on me being a vet, but she doesn't try to push me into it or anything. I know she just wants happiness for me. I haven't got a clue about Dad. Have your dreams for your life changed? Of course. What are your dreams now? HAPPY, stable job that I thoroughly enjoy, well-off financially (I don't aim to be rich, just "safe," you could say), healthy marriage, own my own home, travel to a few places, did y'all think I was gonna forget "meet Mark???"... stuff like that. What was your dream as a child? It changed plenty of times, but my earliest goal was to be a paleontologist. Do you feel safe in your country? Sure, I guess. Safer than most places. If applicable, do you feel safe at your school? N/A Would you ever want to learn sign language? It'd be cool, sure, but it's not something I'm interested in pursuing. How many meals do you eat a day? 2-3. Sometimes just one "real" meal. Do you own any succulents? No. What color are your walls? A hideous puke green. Why. What color were the walls in the bedroom you grew up in? I don't remember at all. What was the last song you listened to on repeat? "Love Falls" by HELLYEAH. What is your favorite style (or styles) of dance? Modern. Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No. Have you ever sung a solo? No. Which insects are you afraid of? Most, really. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of an insect, when it’s so tiny? It depends on the insect, of course. Even if I do know what it is and it's "safe," I'll still typically freak if it surprises me. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Hmmm. Sara, I believe? What are you waiting for? Jesus FUCKING Christ on a bike a job. What do you usually feel like doing the most at home? Stuff on the laptop. What grade were you in when you had your first crush? I don't remember... For "puppy dog love," I believe maybe the 4th grade, but I may be wrong. I'd say my first *real* crush was on a guy named Sebastian in my freshman year of high school. Shit man, did a lot go down my freshman year. I'm just reminiscing and crushes jumped between like five dudes 'til Jason won. At what age did you start experiencing sexual attraction, if any? Some time in middle school, I think? Like that's when I had my first bisexuality crisis: 6th or 7th grade. Have you ever split open a rock with a hammer, to see the glitter inside? No, but FUCK I WANNA. What type of tree do you see the most of where you live? There's a pine tree outside my window. Oh, and there's a pine tree in my back yard. Oh, what's that across the road? Woods of pine trees. Where do all birds in NC live? In pine trees. What does our air smell like? Pine trees. Where is your favorite place you’ve lived? My previous home as far as location; house itself, where I am now. It's got its issues, but it's cozy and a perfect size for just two people. What states have you lived in? Just 'ole North Carolina. Take me awaaaaaaaaaaaay- Do you wish you were someone else? Sometimes. What is your favorite thing about the month in which it is now? Literally just flowers. That's it. It. Everything else can suck a legion of dicks. Who were your best friends in high school? Hannia, Girt, Jason (if he counts), Alon, Maria... I had a few "best" ones. ^Are they still your best friends now? Girt is my closest thing to a "best friend" if you don't include my girlfriend. Do you live near the mountains? No, they're on the opposite end of the state. ;___; Do you live near a beach? We're like, two-ish hours away. What is your favorite beach that you’ve been to? Idk and idc, beaches aren't my thing. Do you collect seashells? Not seriously, but I'll keep a cool one if I find one. If you were to start a new collection, what would it be? If I was not ashamed of looking like a 23-y/o pre-teen in love with Just Bieber, I'd have more Markiplier merch than you'd fucking believe. (One of my biggest regrets in life was not buying the tasteful nudes calendar; I will eternally smite myself for being too embarrassed to have to explain why I would have that hanging above my bed rip.) If you had to pick one year and describe it as the best year of your life that you want to relive again, which year would it be? 2017 was fuckin litty titty. Is your world view the same as your parents’? In some ways with Mom, and I do know Dad and I differ on a few things. Well, if I learned more about his more political beliefs, I feel I'd probably disagree with most. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Are you the person you thought you’d be when you were younger? No. Are you a confrontational person, or the peacekeeper? I'm a massive peacekeeper. I avoid confrontation like the PLAGUE. Do you like to read? Not nearly as much as I used to. Like all I ever read nowadays are RP posts as I obviously have to reply to them, but if they're long, it is common I procrastinate on reading it... ;_; Do you sleep too much or not enough? Probably too much, especially when I go to bed early. Although, I do wake up throughout the night and sometimes officially pretty early. Then some days I have a 1-2 hour nap, so that just adds to it. Who is your best friend? Sara. <3 How did you two meet? YouTube. How did you meet your current bf/gf? ^ How far away is your closest family member? Well I live with my mom, but she's at work atm. The last time you did something with BOTH of your parents was? BOY OH FUCKING BOY. My mom's the most bitter witch towards him, so even for family events, Dad usually only stops by to avoid creating a goddamn wreck, such as at birthday dinners. I think the last time they were in the same house was for my nephew's birthday half a year ago, I believe. What’s your favorite holiday? Halloween!!! Now that I have a niece and nephew who grasp the concept of Santa, Christmas is also really special to me. I don't want kids, but watching those sweethearts get so excited over their presents is magical. For me personally, the holiday has grown more and more about celebrating family, especially as we continue to branch out/go our own ways. So I guess I like the idea of Halloween better and would enjoy it more if I actually had something to do, but as far as joy goes, Christmas. Do you like pumpkin pie? I hate anything and everything pumpkin-flavored. The last time you went to the doctor, what were you there for? It was the see my psychiatrist. Do you take any medication regularly? Yeah. Is there any particular view you have on insane people? I see "insane" versus "sane" as far more of a gradient shift instead of a direct split; there're levels. I actually do legitimately think I at some juncture in the aftermath of the breakup qualified as slightly insane, yet I wasn't dangerous or entirely out of touch with reality. So if you tell me someone's actually insane, I'm going to fear them being the explosive, entirely unpredictable and loopy kind, but I know the person may be calm and somewhat stable on the outside, too. You gotta consider the severity. Do you believe in any conspiracies? 9/11 was orchestrated by the government and you cannot change my mind. I'm not totally sold on this one and lean more towards "nah" (I think), but the "we live in a simulation by a future civilization" is not that far-fetched at all if you actually look into it. It's very interesting, whether or not you're sold on it. Hell, Neil deGrasse Tyson firmly believes in it. Out of your friends, who is the funniest? Girt makes me laugh at the snap of his fingers, it seems. Anything you need to get rid of? I'm sure somewhere... Do you have any wasted talents? Animal knowledge and compassion, probably... I know I could make a fantastic rehabilitator for animals, among a plethora of other animal-related preservation and protection actions I could actively engage in. Well, I'm going back to school for zoology, but even now, I want to do more. There is a wildlife rehab place I may be able to volunteer at soon, tho! Mom's talking to a guy at work about me helping there. DAMN, livin a dream. Do you let the little things get to you? The issue could be as small as a single cell and it could still bother me. How often do you cry? Maybe once in a week, possibly longer. I don't know if you mean like really cry or just tear up/lightly cry. The latter is pretty common, but the other, not so much. Even if I want to cry, my jaw just entirely locks the hell up and I physically can't get it out. Is there anything you’re trying to prevent? I mean besides the common sense things everyone takes action to avoid, hm. I feel like there's so much, yet nothing is coming to me? Well, actually, it's usually a daily struggle to prevent at least one OCD cycle. When was the last time you were told you were cute? *shrug* When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life? It's been quite a while... At least over a year ago, when I began to get antsy with wanting a job and later going back to school. It just all started when I realized I was healed from the breakup and ready to move forward in life, but I wasn't. Do you miss the way things used to be between you and someone else? Multiple people. What colors has your hair been? Dirty blonde, brown, red, and purple. I've had red and purple highlights, and I naturally have blondish ones, too. I'm ready to dye it again, jfc. Most attempts are failures because my hair does NOT take color well whatsoever. It's only ever worked perfectly with the brand Splat, and my hair soaked in the dye for a LONG time before washing it out. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? We share interest in plenty of the same bands, Mom especially. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? No. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? MY LITTLE SISTER. Haven't seen the woman in three years, but I can promise you Jason's mom still has it to a legendary degree. How expensive is too expensive for a pair of shoes? I haven't looked for shoes in so long that I don't even know the average price. What kinds of cereal are in the cupboard? Honey Nut Cheerios, normal Cheerios I think, and we have a little bit of the chocolate chunk Special K cereal left over. It's got to be stale by now (it's not even closed fully); I need to remember to toss it. What’s the last thing you spent over $10 on? Ummm I'm not sure. Over $30? I think my tongue piercing was $40? Maybe even lower? Or slightly higher?? I don't remember. Do you know who lives three houses down from you? I think so. The one time I was locked out of my house in the snow with Teddy and I waited like a fucking hour until I broke down, absolutely freezing (I was in my pajamas, dude), and walked down the road to try and get help (I needed to call my mom, obviously, and I didn't have my phone), I believe it was the third neighbor who answered. Turned out being a retired deputy who was super intimidating yet kind at the same time; he let Teddy and me stay in his house (mind you, Teddy is incontinent and didn't have his diaper on, which I warned him about) while Mom was on her way home. He gave me a jacket and some water, even when I said I was fine, but you could tell he wasn't totally sure about trusting this random, sobbing girl at his door because he asked me a thousand questions about my story and quizzed if I really did live in this area. Obviously a good cop, but after a day like that, I was just terrified of an old man who appeared a bit gruff. But thankfully Mom got there to save the day and I am forever grateful for that guy. WOW what a story for a simple question. Is there a bulletin board in your room? No. Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? "Health freak" seems a bit extreme for both of them, but Mom is more concerned about health in general. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We just have tortilla chips, I think. I try to keep snacks out of the house to avoid temptation, and who eats plain tortilla chips. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Mom's. What’s the first thing you see when you walk into your bedroom? Most would probably notice my Nightmare Before Christmas poster first, being as big as it is and on the wall opposite the entrance. Do you prefer the truth, even if it’s harsh? YES. I NEED to know this kinda stuff, even if the truth is really hard to hear. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? I don't think so. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? I think I did when my very first band teacher did. EVERYONE loved him. Like, the entire school. Does your kitchen look like it was designed in a completely different decade? No? When’s the last time you wore heels? Great question. Probably not since my sister's wedding in '16. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? My grampa's on Mom's side. What’s the best date movie? Probably a rom com? Have your parents ever been out of the country? No. How many pairs of jeans, all together, are in your house? Zero. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I'll swear under my breath or seethe in frustration, but I never yell. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? No. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Whenever she starts dating a guy, she dips, and whenever/if ever we talk, she rambles absolutely endlessly about him. Do you know anyone who has grossly skinny eyebrows? I couldn't possibly care less about how your eyebrows look. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman and Bentley sure do. Bentley is a Professional Fly Moncher, specifically. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Uhhh good question. Probs the night before Sara got here for my b-day. What is your mom’s favorite movie? Hm, good question! I'd ask her, but I don't want her to ask me why I am lmao. What TV family reminds you of your own family? Probably none. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? No. I don't remember what I thought, but I know it wasn't that. Do you have any relatives who really spoil you? No, I think? Well Dad gives my sisters and me way too much money for Christmas and always tells us to ask him if we need anything, but I pretty much never ask him for said things, so I don't know the extent he'd go. Are there any drawers in your house that are just filled with junk? Pretty much. Is the last person you spoke to in love? That's my mom, so I doubt that with all I know. Do you know anyone who has security cameras in their house? I don't believe so. What was the last movie to make you cry? I think the last was Coco. Moana may have made me tear up, but I can't remember... Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? Not to my memory. What time do you usually go to sleep at sleepovers, if ever? I haven't been to a sleepover in God knows how long. Who was the main character in the last book you read? Alice Liddell. Who are the last people you saw kiss? Via YouTube, Jeffree and his boyfriend. Irl, I don't know. Have you ever posted a fan fiction on a website? No. Do you ever fantasize about your future wedding? Who’s the bride/groom? Not very much. Like I've had brief daydreams about it, sure, but it's not something that's on my mind a lot. Still got a long time before that happens. What was the last unpleasant thing to wake you up? My cat not knowing how to keep his mouth shut. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Well, it depends; stars if we're in a completely isolated area where you can see them crystal clear or the clouds are boring, but otherwise, clouds if their design and colors are cool. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? No. Do you ever wonder what the opposite sex do at sleepovers? No. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? My mom, no questions asked. When’s the last time you broke plans? Why? I wasn't feeling well. I was supposed to see my VR coach that day. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? Yes, my sister's. I was a bridesmaid. It was an absolutely awful experience because I was hot as fuck, it was triggering as HELL with me still grieving Jason, and I felt positively hideous in a dress when I was at such a horrible weight. I wish so dearly I could redo that day; I fell like I put a serious damper on my sister's big day. Would you feel safer with an alarm system or security cameras? Hm, depends on the scenario... I guess an alarm system? Like security cameras will show a murderer climbing through my window, but they're not gonna wake me up to save my ass. Does it matter to you what kind of shampoo you use? So long it smells nice, isn't watery, and doesn't only add oil to my hair, I don't care much. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit in front, in the back, or in the middle? Hm... idk. When I took the bus home with Jason, we always sat in the back, and that's really the only time I took a bus regularly. I think otherwise, I'd prefer the middle, closer to the front? I think I usually did that on occasions like band competitions and such. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? No, that's rare. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Meerkat Manor. Though I would hope they'd lessen down on the false story-telling. Stick to the true KMP events. When you feel stressed, do you take things out on the wrong people? Sometimes. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? I don't wear jeans period. What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? N/A Are you sensitive to caffeine? Definitely not. My system's too used to it, probably. How do you usually get around? Mom drives me. I'm 23. :^) Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? German. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? SURPRISINGLY no, at least to my memory. Do you like Vitamin Water? Never tried, don't want to. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Dad and me on his birthday. Do you know anyone that uses Sprint as their phone carrier? Idk. Well, I think. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? Sometime during Bobby's visit literally days ago. I already forgot who took it... and who else was in it lmao. Do you own a pair of slippers? Yeah, two. A meerkat pair and then a far less extra pair that're closer to socks. I think they have cats on them? I got them for Christmas I think and haven't worn or seen them much. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? Not a fan of either, but Carrie Underwood is more tolerable and even has a couple songs I enjoy. Name something negative that you hate about yourself: I'll jump to a conclusion within .02 seconds of something negative happening. Or not even "negative" or something that's purely in my head. Is your house currently hot, cold or just right? The house itself is fine, and my room is just right because I have my fan on. Is there a Dead End road near where you live? I can't think of one off the top of my head, but it's likely, really. There's lots of those here. Growing up, did you see your cousins often? No. We live many states away on both parents' sides. Where was your first job at? GameStop. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot? (Celebrities) It's been like two days and I'm over seeing the James Charles/Tati drama everywhere. You can't be interested in the YouTube community without being drowned in that shit right now somehow someway on any YT-coverage page and YouTube itself. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? I personally haven't. Would you date someone who’s shorter than you? I very openly and severely judge you if fucking height means that much to you. Do you mind being the third wheel? Not really, no. I'd only feel uncomfortable if they were getting pretty intimate. Has a kiss ever made you weak in the knees? Um I didn't know that was actually a thing so no. Do you feel comfortable buying condoms? Never been in that position. Have you ever dated two people at once? No. Have you ever been tested for STDs? No. Well wait, that time I gave blood I probably was just out of safety protocol. Have you ever run into your ex with his/her new sweetie? No. Have you ever felt guilty after doing something sexual? When I was in that "wait does this break the abstinence rule" phase, yeah. God was I technical. Have you ever had a condom break during sex? N/A Do your parents know if you’re having sex? Well considering I'm with a girl and she lives states away, that answer's obvious. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Chips. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? A dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? A painter, maybe? If I could play the electric guitar, though... idk. What social media sites do you visit the most? Facebook. What did you hair look like in high school? Long, thick as fuck, brown (or dyed black) with some sort of highlight, and it was split to the left with the hair swooped over my right eye. Basically "I want the emo swoop but my hair is too fucking thick to obey hairspray." :^) Which dollar store do you shop at? Depends on what's closest, usually. We rarely ever stop at one unless it's for candy to bring into the movie theater, seriously lol. I think usually Dollar General? Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? WE DON'T KNOW EITHER. Skeletons or scarecrows? s k e l l y b o y s Has anyone ever given you the silent treatment? Yep. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? I learned on that day I hate giving blowjobs. Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No, thankfully. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you ‘shortie’ instead of girl? BOY I would fucking cackle. I hate that word. No. Do you ever watch The Simpsons? No. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? OH MY GOD I remember that!!! But no. What IS your most embarrassing moment? Too lazy to go through the novel of 'em to pick the worst. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? You assume I find myself either. Do you own any mini skirts? I don't own any skirts period. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? No. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? I'm sure she has before. Do you have a deep voice? For a girl, yeah. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? *shrugs* Exclusively for me, probably never. Do you do something new with your hair practically every day? No, it's the same everyday. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? Delivery guy. Has anyone ever licked your foot? Ew no. Do you play games with boys/girls, like ‘hard to get’? I'm not 15. Has a guy ever quoted a romantic Shakespeare line to you? No, and I'm glad, as I'd cringe into another realm. Is there a Sonic where you live? Yes, I LIVE- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. I look less high, at least. What did you eat for lunch today? A pb&j. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, or meat lovers. What is in the back seat of your car right now? I don't own a personal car. Mom has a a load of stuff in the back of hers, at least I think... That's super rare, but she's been so ungodly busy idk if she's had time to clean it out. I haven't paid attention so can't recall. What was the last thing you threw up? Idr. Menthol or regular cigarettes? I don't smoke and never have, so idk. What is your favorite episode of Friends? I don't watch it, and I haven't seen many episodes at all if for whatever reason I was in a room and it was on. Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you been to a strip club? No. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Hell if I remember. It had to either be my 16th birthday when Jason's family was all together watching the Super Bowl, or a hockey game with my dad. Last person’s house you were in? Besides my own, my sister's. Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? Nicole. Ever go to camp? No. Were you an honor roll student in school? Yeah. Do you have a tan? HA no. How old do you want to be when you have kids? I don't want kids. Are you someone’s best friend? Yeah. Favorite gemstone? Dragon's breath opal. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thru, almost always. Does your first memory involve your dad? No. When was the last time you went swimming? Last summer at the beach. Holy fuck the water was so perfect. Has your luggage ever gotten lost? No. Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar? No. Like... just why. Do you ever get flu shots? No.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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bubblegumwitchswriting · 6 years

Text

House of M Au - Roses Pt. 3

. Falling . Roses Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt. 3

Pairing: Billy/Teddy

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15190091/chapters/36621672

"Okay" Kate said, throwing herself down into the chair opposite Teddy with a huge grin. "Tell me I'm awesome. Because I'm awesome."

"You're awesome," Teddy agreed. "But what specifically did you do this time?"

Kate looked at him for a second, apparently trying to decode whether or not there had been any sarcasm there. Not finding any she leant forward and grinned.

"Just call me your fairy godmother," she said with a grin. "Because Theodore Altman you shall go to the ball!"

With an expansive gesture she brought out a ticket from inside her coat pocket. It was on thick card, the writing glinting the dim light of the coffee shop.

"It's mine," Kate clarified. "But you know I'd never actually read one of these before. Barely even looked at it, just turned up whenever my dad told me to go. But this entitles me to a plus one. So I no longer have to be bored at these events and you get to stare at Prince Charming all night. Isn't that great?"

Teddy hadn't even had time to bring up the possibility of Kate keeping an eye on Billy before Kate had fixed the problem. Nonetheless conversation with Thomas still weighed heavily on his mind. Kate had probably been right before about not getting involved. And clearly his preoccupation with Billy was starting to be noticeable. Should he really be turning up to the palace to a party and drawing even more attention. Should he really be dragging Kate along for the ride?

"You don't look thrilled," Kate observed.

"No," Teddy said quickly. "No, I am. It's just -"

He trailed off. Shrugged.

"What am I supposed to wear?"

"You'll have to figure that out on your own," Kate said. "I left my dress making wand at home."

"What time-?"

"Three hours," Kate said cheerfully. "You're lucky I managed to get past Susan. She thinks that five hours isn't long enough to prepare and is trying to instil the same virtues in me."

Kate rolled her eyes, standing.

"Saying that I should probably get back before her or Dad send out a search party. I'll pick you up. Have fun finding a suit."

Kate drove a purple car and she drove it herself, no chauffeur involved. She came to a sudden halt outside Teddy’s house and waved at him cheerfully. Teddy got in the car with some trepidation.

"Dad and Susan said I should ride with them but honestly I'd rather die than listen to Susan's celebrity gossip for one minute longer. She's obsessed with the palace."

Kate paused, turned to grin at Teddy for a fraction to long and had to correct her position in the road by swerving wildly which sent Teddy slamming into the side of the car.

"You and Susan would get on," Kate continued, as though nothing had happened. "She can hook you up with all the rumours."

"Kate that's a red light," Teddy said in lieu of dignifying her comment with a response.

"I know," Kate said beatifically and true to her word did stop, though slightly more abruptly than Teddy would have liked. She drummed lightly on the steering wheel as she waited for an elderly lady and an even more elderly dog to cross at the lights.

"So what's the latest from the palace?" Kate asked. "Is Prince Charming still charming?"

Did he tell her?

"He's forgotten who I am," Teddy answered, settling for a half truth.

"Royals," Kate said sounding utterly unsurprised. "Maybe you should have left him bleeding in the alleyway am I right?"

Teddy picked an imaginary piece of dust off the side of the dashboard. Kate, who spent far too much time watching him when she was supposed to be driving, picked up on that.

"Seriously?" she said. "You're seriously still crushing on someone who is paying you back for basically saving their life by forgetting you? Come on Altman. He's cute but he's not that cute."

Teddy didn’t answer. He’d found a second piece of dust.

"Teddy?"

He bit back the urge to defend Billy, to explain that it wasn't his fault, that there was something wrong, that Billy had been made to forget.

The seatbelt seemed to be cutting into his chest. They were getting closer to the castle now which meant their pace was slower as they joined a line of shining cars and limos as they queued up at the gates, waving invitations, smiling snobbishly at passers by and craning their necks as each new car was appraised in case this car was an interloper and would be thrown out.

"It's an awful crowd," Kate said. "Why I'm glad you're along for this one even if I'm enabling your Prince fantasies."

Teddy was staring at the guards.

"You've gone pale," Kate said. "What's going on? These people are all here to suck up to the royal family which probably makes them some kind of monster, but they aren't going to bite."

Attempts to rouse him with questionable humour failing, Kate punched him in the arm. Being Kate the gesture was accidentally slightly too hard.

"Teddy?"

In the palace the guards were imposing enough, but tonight they wore ceremonial uniforms. The finery made them look like pantomime people and he almost would have had trouble accepting them as real if it hadn't been for the very tangible weapons hung from their belts. Kate had said not to interfere from the beginning and she was usually right.

"Maybe this was a bad idea," Teddy said.

"It's just a party," Kate said. "Super fancy one sure, and most of the guests are boring as hell or pure evil but the canapes are good."

She frowned.

"What's really bothering you?"

"You know how you told me not to get involved in whatever was going on in the palace?"

She sighed very heavily.

"Theodore Altman what have you done?"

Teddy would have replied, would have told her but they had somehow made their way to the front of the queue and the guards were waving Kate forward. One came to her window, one came to his. Kate showed them her invitation. Teddy tried very hard not to sink down into his seat as the guards questioning gaze landed on him. His suit, left over and forgotten after a family wedding the previous year dug out of a wardrobe and hastily ironed, felt uncomfortable. He was a fake. They'd see right through him, they'd see the gardener. They'd know he was interfering.

The guard at his window leaned closer, narrowing his eyes. Teddy swallowed.

"Parking round to the left," Kate's guard said.

Kate waited until they were round to the left before rounding on Teddy.

"Spill."

"If I tell you, it could get you in trouble too."

Kate gave him a look.

"If you are stopping me from getting involved in foiling a royal family assassination plot I'm going to be mad."

"You said -"

Kate waved a hand and pulled effortlessly into the dead centre of a space the first time and one handed.

"That was before you got involved. Now you clearly are involved you better be involving me too. Should I have brought weapons? Would a bow be too obvious?"

She was smirking.

"For sure," Teddy said, choosing to take her seriously. "I'm trying not to be noticed."

He told her briefly about Billy not recognising him, the guard and his conversation with Prince Thomas.

"In-ter-esting," Kate said, dragging out the word and savouring it.

She turned and gave Teddy a huge, slightly worrying, grin.

"Alright," she said cheerfully. "Let's go save Prince Charming."

"Please stop calling him that," Teddy said. "Because I'm concerned you're going to forget and call him that to his face."

"And what's he going to do?" Kate said, but she sarcastically mimed zipping her lips shut at an exasperated look from Teddy.

They were directed up a set of steps, through a corridor and into a ballroom, attended to the entire way by blandly pleasant servants, waiters and other staff in pristine outfits. Kate responded with weary resignation, allowing them to take her coat, grabbing a drink. Teddy just felt flustered. He'd seen one or two of these people around the palace and though he had no idea of their names and he doubted they knew his he still half-expected them to yell fake, to point out this wasn't his scene.

This really wasn't his scene.

The only two events he had been to that could be classed as parties were the family wedding and Kate's last birthday. The family wedding hadn't been too over the top, and Kate was Kate so her birthday, though funded entirely by her billionaire father, was still grounded in some semblance of reality.

The House of M were not grounded in the same reality as Teddy.

The ballroom itself was elaborate with marble pillars and a floor that shone like glass and reflected the lights from the enormous chandeliers high above them. The decorations were something else: one wall had a waterfall for no apparent reason other than they could. Full size trees in pots lining the edges of the room. A bank of doors opened out onto the lawns where Teddy had been working only the day before. Peacocks wandered up and down the neat grass, and occasionally pecked the lawn and beds to death.

And everywhere there were flowers, huge displays falling in curtains, dripping out of stone urns: peonies, lilies, orchids, carnations and snapdragons. Roses.

Teddy glanced around the hall. It was already half-full with people all in masks. Teddy stopped glancing around the hall and glanced at Kate.

"Did I mention it was a masquerade?" she asked.

Teddy gave her a look of frustration.

"Yeah thought as much," Kate said. "Luckily for you I remembered that I'd probably forgotten and -"

She reached into her bag, eventually retrieved two simple silk masks.

"Ta-dah!"

"Admittedly," she added as she tied hers, "it looks slightly like we're planning on robbing a bank after this, but I didn't have a whole lot of time."

The mask only really covered the area around his eyes, but Teddy still felt slightly better for having it. Kate wanted to dance so he let her lead him onto the dance floor, joining the colourful guests and the entertainers who walked on stilts performing small feats of colourful magic.

Teddy glanced around.

"Prince Charming not here yet?" Kate asked sympathetically.

"It's not that -" Teddy said. "Kate how do you get invited to these? You're human?"

Kate shrugged.

"Daddy's rich. Politics?"

"Magneto's politics are that humans are the worst."

Kate shook her head and gave a lopsided shrug.

"Look I try not to question it."

That didn't sound like Kate.

"Unless the pitchforks come out," she continued, "Can you please just concentrate on one drama at a time? And look perfect timing there's Prince Dreamy. Stare at him."

Teddy spared half a glance in the direction Kate had gestured, intending it only to be that much to prove Kate wrong and shut her up. He ended up getting caught though because Billy looked so different, both from their first meeting and their subsequent meetings when he'd been so far away he might as well have been on another planet. He had his cloak back on and he played with the fabric with one hand, distractedly as his mother spoke to an ambassador.

He looked more with it than he'd seemed in the garden, but not at all like he had their first meeting either. When his gaze swept the room there wasn't much life in it, but then he seemed to stop at Teddy just for a millisecond and he smiled. Teddy's heart stopped. There were hundreds of people in the room. Billy wasn't looking directly at him. Billy had no idea who he was. It was a coincidence that's all.

"So mission save Prince Charming is a go!" Kate said next to him.

Teddy hushed her, but he was smiling. He told himself it was at Kate's sense of humour, rather than a response to Billy smiling but he also knew he was a liar.

#Teddy altman #billy kaplan #Billy/Teddy #roses #young avengers

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edourado · 6 years

Text

Pour

So, remember last night when I said I was trying to write something “by tonight”? Yeah, when I said “tonight” I meant today’s tonight, not last night’s tonight. So we’re good.

That’s a lie, but please go with it.

Here lies 9 pages of bullshit. I don’t know what the hell this is, but it sure is something, I just don’t know what.

The Punisher broke my writing tool. It’s their fault, so take it out on them.

Thank you @evilbunnyking, @allmyfuckingobsessions and @carry-the-sky for the support on this one. I know I said smut, but, again, they broke me, I’m pretty sure.

(Quickie thing of a sequel, if you’re interested, if your’e interested.)

Ok, bye.

Karen hesitated in front of the fridge, thinking about the article that still needed her attention.

Clicking her tongue, she decided she was due for a little thing to ease her mind. The article could still be written if she had a glass of wine of two.

She got the bottle, closed the fridge and moved to the counter to get the corkscrew and a glass.

It’s Friday, after all.

.:.

“If you check that feed one more time I’m gonna kick your ass”, said Curtis from the kitchen.

Frank looked up from the computer and towards his friend. “What are you even looking for, man?”

He was looking for a sign. Something that told him that he should act on that impulse, he should not let that thing die down, that he should pursue it. He was looking for an in.

“Whose window is this?” asked his friend, giving him a mug of coffee, sitting on the other chair on his small dinner table. “Is it Karen’s?”

Frank nodded, looking at the live feed of her window, baren of a flower pot.

He explained to Curtis their communication system, and his friend frowned at him, and then rolled his eyes, sipping his own coffee.

“First of all, those flowers must have died a long time ago. Second of all, who is this woman?”

Frank wasn’t sure he could explain Karen Page to him. Or what she meant. Or what was going on between them. Still, he tried.

“Sounds to me like you’re pussying out of a mission, man. In all my years, I’ve never known you to do that”, he teased and Frank sighed, running a hand on his chin, stubbly with the beard he neglected to shave for two days. “Seriously, though. All I can offer in lieu of advice is that… I think it’s been long enough. Your gut doesn’t lie to you, so if it feels like you should do it, do it. I know it’s complicated, but… You still got half your life to live.”

.:.

He missed her. Like crazy. And, unless he was grossly misreading the situation, he knew she must miss him, too.

He wasn’t misreading anything. Frank doesn’t misread things.

Only it became one of those things. the longer you waited, the harder it became to act. Had he waited long enough? Had he waited too much? Was she expecting him that same night? Did she want some kind of distance, after everything that had happened?

No distance, called his gut while he looked out on that water, standing on that same spot where he had placed a kiss on her cheek that time, following a sudden urge to show her just how much-

Walking into his apartment - not home - he opened the fridge to look for something to eat. While he finished the sandwich he made for himself - still not as good looking as that ones David makes. Not that he’s ever gonna tell him that - he looked at his computer.

The little light by the power button blinked at him, almost invitingly.

Come check.

Frank finished the sandwich and got up to wash the dish, putting the ones on the drying rack away in it’s cupboards.

Looking again, the computer light blinked.

Come check.

Already a little bit angry at himself, he turned to go take a shower. Maybe a constant stream of cold water on him is what he needed, to maybe steer his mind away from that feed, at once.

It didn’t. He walked out with a towel wrapped around his hips, deciding it was time he went to bed, when he looked at his right.

Come check.

Muttering a curse, he walked to the table and pressed the damn button, starting the computer up - slowly, agonizingly slowly, he needs to get a new one - and opening the live feed.

‘Window’.

His breath got stuck in his throat.

A flower pot. White roses. Brand new.

He sat on the chair and stared at it for maybe a minute, before picking up his phone.

“Hello?”

Her voice was mellow and slow. Or maybe it was just his imagination.

“Didn’t know famous journalists picked up their phones after midnight”, he said, staring at the computer screen, counting the blooms of the new pot she had placed for his camera.

Karen hummed in his ear, like she was smiling. He imagined her hair falling on her face, just like it was when he took that gun from under her chin and put his face close to hers, those five seconds when they breathed the same air.

“We do, depending on who’s calling. Plus, I called you first.”

He smiled, some sort of warm relief washing him as he heard her voice.

“I’m getting kinda sick of not having a way to contact you, to be honest.”

“You do, though.”

“Flowers on the window don’t count. They’re awfully unilateral. It only works if you check.”

“I did check.”

“Took you long enough.”

Boom boom, his heart inside him.

“Were you busy?”

“Not as much as you”, he said, elbow on the table, zooming in on the feed, maybe trying to catch movement inside her window, even if he knew damn well that all he could get, maybe, if the wind tilted the camera, was a little bit of her floor. “Heard you on the radio this morning. You and, uh…”

“Trish Walker.”

“Yeah. That was interesting.”

A moment of silence.

“Just because I said you saved my life again?”

“Shouldn't do that, you know?”

“She asked. You wanted me to lie and say you took me hostage?”

“I remember that was kinda the plan?”

“Just for you to get away. I told Brett the truth later.”

He clicked his tongue. He should have known.

“Can’t help yourself, can you?”

Another hum, and a sound like water moving around.

“How are you, Frank?” she asked, voice lower than a second ago, a tad more serious. “You were so banged up when I last say you, and then that mess at Central Park. I’m assuming that was you?”

Why he smiled, he has no idea. But he did, letting his head fall to the side a bit, dropping his voice, too, rolling a paper napkin between his fingers.

“Yeah…”

“Did you win, at least?”

“You could say that. Saved Madani again.”

She scoffed.

“You do that a lot.”

Again, why is he smiling?

“One could argue I do that a lot for you, too.”

Why does he sound like that?

(You know why, Frank, stop playing dumb, a voice in his brain.)

“Yeah, well… I’m not a federal agent. What’d you do now, jump off a building to save her life?”

“No, Miss Page. That was just for you.”

Another four, five seconds of silence before she talks again, slow and with a lilt. There’s definitely a lilt and he moves the phone away from his mouth so she doesn’t hear how heavy he breathes.

“What do you mean? When did you jump off a building for me?”

“Flight of stairs. Same thing.”

“You jumped off a flight of stairs?”

“Dislocated my arm in the process.”

More water moving.

“Sorry about that.”

“Not your fault. Where are you?”

One. Two. Three.

“Tub.”

He had to screw his eyes shut and bite on the inside of his cheek, images of long legs and soapy skin entering his brain without his permission, and he was suddenly aware.

He was wrapped in a towel and she was having a bath while they talked on the phone, after midnight.

Jesus Christ.

“I worry about you, you know?”, she went on. “It’s hard for me, not having any news.”

He doesn’t have anything to say to that. If he explains that it’s for her own safety, he’s pretty sure she’s gonna hang up on him, and, honestly, right now, he would rather die.

“When can I see you?”

He heard the water moving, lolling, like she was moving her hand around, or something, and he tried tried tried to not think about her sitting there naked on her bathtub talking to him.

“You want to?”

He almost cried when she took a deep, deep breath, and let out a “Yeah” on her exhale.

“Ok”, he said after a rogue flash of wet arms around his neck and the phantom pressure of her fingers on his arm.

“When?”

“Now?”

He didn’t say anything. Not because he thought he shouldn’t, but because he wanted to. Almost too much.

“Frank?” she called.

“Hmm?”

“Now.”

.:.

He knocked on her door without any idea of what he was going to say. If he was being honest, he didn’t even know how he managed to drive there without killing anyone on the way, so distracted he was by potential scenarios and the tone of her voice in his ear, that particular tone he had never heard before, but wanted to hear always, now.

She opened the door and it was all dark behind her.

Her hair was not wet, as he had imagined it would be. It was up in a loose bun on the top of her head, but she had missed a lock. That one stuck to her neck and waved in a thin line against her collarbone, the robe she was wearing hiding further skin from him.

“I hate it when you vanish”, she said as a greeting, small, tiny smile on her lips, stepping aside to let him in.

She smelled like lavender. Or something flowery and fresh.

“Sorry.”

“Stop doing it, then.”

While she closed the door, he looked at the window, where the flowers sat.

Walking in, Karen stopped in front of him and studied his face. He noticed the wine glass on her hand when she raised the free one to remove his hoodie, moving to inspect the gash Billy’s bullet had left on the side of his head.

“How are you?”

Why did she need to be wearing a robe? Why didn’t she turn any of the lights on? Why is she drinking wine and why did she sound like that on the phone?

“No one’s trying to kill me, so”, he deflected, but then he regretted it, looking for her eyes with his, assigning himself a new mission. Fuck it. He wanted to hear that voice again. “You?”

She raised her brows and let out a breath, shrugging lightly, her hand still on his face, dropping it once she saw the healing wound.

“Good enough.”

“What’s this, then?” he pointed to her wine glass.

They stood there in the dark, the light of one single lamp on the hallway to her bedroom and the glare from her open windows the only thing allowing him to see the soft curve of her mouth.

“This is me trying to ease out of a tough week.” He watched as the sip she took made its way down her throat. “You want to join me?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok. Problem is”, she said, taking another sip and handing him the glass, walking towards the kitchen when he took it. “I don’t have another fancy glass like that. Foggy broke the other one, so it’s either sharing this one with me or drinking your wine out of a coffee mug.”

Taking a brand new bottle from inside the fridge, she turned to him and waited for his answer.

He finished her glass and reached for the bottle, letting her lean on the counter while he opened it.

.:.

This was either a very, very bad idea or a really, really good one. He might even regret it later, once he doesn’t have so much wine dulling his senses, but, right now, he’s enjoying himself too much to stop.

She pulled his boots off him before they finished the first glass. They now sat under the couch, forgotten.

His black beanie was the next to go, when she pulled it off him and placed it over her own head, her hair now down under it, the strands turning in soft, loose curls.

While he gave her a brief and not at all detailed account of what had happened with Russo, she sat by his side and sipped her wine, body twisted towards him, the knot on her robe becoming increasingly weaker, revealing the poor excuse of pajamas she wore under it. Short shorts and a tank top that was slowly, slowly driving him crazy.

When the bottle he had opened was half empty, she got up to get snacks and, when she came back, he noticed she was favoring her left foot a little bit.

“What happened there?” he asked, pointing that fact out, and she brushed him off, told him how her heel had gotten stuck in broken concrete on a sidewalk three days ago, and it still hurt a bit.

He had been massaging that foot for half an hour, now, and she was lying down, her head propped up on a pillow, leg on his lap, the other one bent, the empty bottle on the coffee table in front of them, the last of the wine sitting on the glass they shared by its side.

She was not drunk, drunk. Not really. Not sober, either, so he had taken the glass away from her line of vision and reach, finishing the last third of the bottle by himself.

He wants no excuses. He wants to hear that voice again, that breathed “yeah” she let out for him on the phone, he wanted that.

“So how does Madani fit in this?”

Frank looked at her, lying there on her back, his beanie on her head, her foot in his hand, his thumbs pressing from her sole to the middle of her calf and back, massaging the muscles, rolling her ankle, gripping it tight and then doing it all over again.

This time, he reached the back of her knee.

“She had to settle some shit, too.”

“With you?”

Draining the last of the wine, he put the empty glass back down and decided that, as much as he liked this, the look on her face while she asked about the depth of his involvement with another woman, it was enough. For now, it was enough.

“No” he said, tugging on her foot, making her slide a tiny bit further towards him, and then reaching his hand for hers, finally letting go of that ankle. With an expression that betrayed both amusement and excitement, she reached her own hand, taking his, and he pulled her up. “Not with me”.

He felt like a teenager, with that nice buzz fuzzing his thinking a little, but not impairing it, just making everything more… Mellow and simple.

It was so simple, when she sat up, with her legs over his, and looked at his face. Nothing wrong with looking at her lips, or letting his eyes run around her neck and the skin exposed by the dislodged robe.

Nothing at all.

“And then she got in over her head”, she went on, leaning towards him a little further, eyes in his and then on her own inspection of his face. “And you had to swoop in and save the day.”

It was not like that at all, but what does it matter, right now?

“Something like that.”

Her face was so close to his, now, he could count the freckles spread across her cheeks and her nose.

“And, somehow, people keep calling you a terrorist”, she said, before moving to get up, bringing the empty bottle of wine with her, supporting her hand on his shoulder to help her, probably on her way to get a new one.

He let her get to her feet, but then reached his hand and found her wrist, pulling on it, making her turn on the spot and come back down.

This time, though, she was lodged on top of him, maneuvered by his hands and her own movements. Frank took the bottle from her and sat it back on the coffee table, leaning back on the couch after, his feet planted on the floor and his legs spread wide, to support her on top of him.

Enough wine for Miss Page tonight.

The look on her face was different, yet familiar to him. It was a look he had seen before, that evidenced how opened she was, little smiles and long stares, nips of her own bottom lip, plus something new and exciting and, now, fingers on his chin, tracing his jaw, her legs around his hips, his hands on her thighs.

“I really should be angry at you”, she said, so low, and all he did was look up at her and inch his hands further up her legs. “All this time without news. Months, again, and not a peep out of you.”

She’s right, of course. At first, he thought it best to lay low, not lead anyone that might be watching to her door, but then too much time passed, and the more time went by, the more difficult it became to approach her, that almost irresistible urge of knocking on her door immediately after the events in that hotel getting crowded by a million ‘what if’s.

“But you did save my life”, she concedes. “And you were so banged up I kept being worried instead of angry.”

His head is resting against the back of the couch and he is looking up at her, the tips of his fingers teasing the ends of her robe.

“I was around”, he admits, and the surprise that settles on her expression only makes her that much more alluring. Somehow. “Checking.”

“Checking?” she echoes, something that looks like annoyance settling. “Checking?”

“To make sure you were safe.”

“And you couldn’t”, the word punctuated with a light blow to his chest, which he can’t help but laugh at. “Let me know you were ok? Not a ‘hi, Karen. I’m not dead, just so you know’?”

He shrugs and she makes the angry face that makes him want to kiss her.

In a minute.

“I almost did once.”

“And what stopped you?” she pushed against his chest, annoyed but a hint of a smile creeping around her lips.

“I think you were on a date.”

At that, she stopped moving, and he caught her wrists in his hands.

“When was this?”

“When was the last date you had?”

“I had more than one, I’ll have you know”, inching closer to his face, smiling, defiant, the back of her thighs sliding on his jeans, tips of her hair tipping towards his face, his beanie covering her forehead.

“Did you, now?”

“Yes.”

With his thumbs caressing the inside of her wrists, he let go of her to run his hands on her shoulders, down her back, settling on her waist.

“So which date are you talking about?”

He sighed, because she leaned into him and pulled on the zipper of his hoodie, her lips touching his temple lightly, and he closed his eyes, tilting his face.

“M’ not sure. After Christmas.”

“Hmm”. She teased the zipper a bit. “Nate.”

She was already on his lap. So he figured it would be ok if maybe he undid the knot keeping her robe closed.

“Nate?” he asked, pulling on the sash around her waist and she took a deep breath.

“Yeah.”

There it was. Like fuel, burning up that simmering thing inside him, making it go up in flames, making him tighten his hold on her and pull her closer to him, his mouth landing just below her ear, and she let out another breath.

“He was really nice”, went her voice there in his ear, just like when they were on the phone earlier, but now he had his hands full. Much better. “But, you know. I kept thinking during dinner, ‘he never took any bullets for me’.”

The chuckle that left him could not be avoided.

“I can shoot him and we’d find out.”

Sitting back on his legs, she looked at his face again, hands still on that zipper.

“No need. Believe it or not, I’m actually against shooting people.”

“Could have fooled me.”

His face was tilted up. Hers was tilted down. Inches. Not many inches, at that. Reaching up, he pulled that beanie off her, making her smile widen, teeth showing, the whole works. Frank sucked in a breath when she lowered the zipper of his hoodie and inched her hips higher, and her eyes roamed his face, hands on his chest, but then her eyebrows shot up and she squinted, all very quick, less than a second.

“What’s this?” she asked, pulling the gun from where it was tucked on the waist of his jeans.

He felt the barrel sliding on his stomach, following her knuckles, and made use of the interruption to finish with that knot, opening her robe and pulling it off her other arm.

“That would be my gun.”

“Why do you still have it on you?”

Watching as she took her arm from the robe he pulled off her, he dropped his eyes to her legs, bare and smooth against his jeans, begging for his hands.

“Force of habit, I guess.”

Getting up on her knees, she moved forward to place the gun on whatever surface there was behind her couch, which put his face on her cleavage.

Frank opened his mouth on the skin not covered by her tank top, licking a path up her neck, and that free hand went to his shoulder while she sat back, slowly, looking at his face again.

“Any other weapons I should know about?”

“No, ma’am. Are you gonna kiss me or what?”

“I was waiting for you to do that.”

Hand balled up on the back of her head, her hair tangled between his fingers, Frank sat up and pulled her head down to his, opening his mouth on hers, tongue poking out, tasting her, shit, she was like a live wire, why the fuck did he take so long-

Her hands were soft in his hair for a second, arm bending between them to touch his face before she pulled on his hoodie, trying to remove it, other arm around his shoulders, holding herself to him while he leaned forward to remove the thing.

When it was gone, discarded somewhere along with her robe, he put an arm around her, the other reaching to his side to hold her leg around his hip, and got up from the couch, getting drunker on the wine he tasted on her tongue than on the bottle he drank earlier.

“Ow!” she exclaimed, laughing against his mouth when he walked them right into the column in the corner of her living room.

“Sorry”, he whispered, smiling with her lips against his, going right back to kissing her when she didn’t seem to mind, nibbling on his lower lip.

After maybe half a minute of pressing her there against that weird column, running his hands all over her, kissing her as hard as he wanted to since… Fuck, he doesn’t even know since when anymore, Karen untangled her legs from around him, sighing towards the ceiling when he dropped his mouth back to her neck, her hands raising his skin in shivers when she slid her fingers down his chest and slowly, softly, started undoing his belt.

He’s counting backwards from a hundred in his mind, because if he allows himself to get lost in this like he wants, this is really not gonna last that long, and he wants it to.

Frank has her earlobe between his teeth when she pulls the belt off him, arms coming up to scratch on his back after tossing it away, sighing so good to him before he finds her lips again, tongues rolling around and against each other so deliciously.

Both his hands are tangled in her hair again when she moves, making him take a step back and then turning around inside his arms, pulling him through the dark towards, he assumed, her bedroom.

He turns her towards him again when he sees her bed, finding the hem of her tank top and pulling it up over her head.

Frank hears that voice again, those moaned out words she first let out when she had him on the phone, a few more times throughout the night. He only falls asleep when his skin is red and angry with the lines left behind by her blunt nails, a love bite or two tucked away in the corners of her - under her breast, right above her heart, on the inside of her right thigh, maybe another one on the left - and all her pillows are scattered on the floor.

And he wakes up before her, when the light from the window hits his face and makes his head spin, a nasty hangover saying hello to him. It had been a while since he last got drunk on wine.

Slowly, carefully, he moves from under her, not at all wanting to wake her up yet, and gets up to close the curtains, sighing in relief when the light is blocked.

When he came back to bed, his teeth were brushed, his face was washed, he had his underwear on, and there was a big glass of water and two Advils he had found on her cabinet above the sink for her when she woke up. She drank almost a whole bottle more than him, she was bound to wake up with a headache.

He hears the moan before she turns her head to him.

“Oh, shit”, she says and he caresses her hair. “My head.”

Karen sits up when he offers her the glass of water, drinking it slowly, her forehead creased, hair a mess, but to him, this might be the best she ever looked, naked and sleepy, without anything between them except for the covers of her bed.

He watches when she comes back from the bathroom and picks up the pajama he had taken off last night.

It’s cold outside, the winter not really gone yet, and she’s shivering when she kisses him, so he runs his hands on her legs, up her back, down her arms and up again, pulling her to his chest and she sighs, head tucked under his chin.

“I don’t wanna leave this bed today”, she says against his skin and he tightens his hold on her.

“That is a deal.”

When the delivery guy knocks with their lunch, Frank makes him wait a little bit, and Karen bites on a pillow to muffle the loud noises she had been letting out, but he takes that away so he can kiss her, hand tight on one of her butt cheeks, keeping her hips up for him, groaning his own high in her ear, not really caring when the guy knocks again, a little louder.

Priorities.

#*facepalm*#kastle #kastle ff #kastleff #kastle fic #The Punisher #writing #can't believe it doesn't go o n the DD tag anymore #Hell's Kitchen Chronicals

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stxrryeyes · 7 years

Note

all of those asks!!

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?- Literally as I am writing this.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?- The steps to preventing and correcting environmental degradation so that humans don’t destroy the earth entirely or something. Cause I worry about that a lot.

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?- I’m eating like a mostly normal person right now, so that’s pretty cool.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?- I visited the barn yesterday and got in some cuddles with my horse. After the way this week has gone, it was much needed.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?- Oh, I’m quite sure I would. I don’t know just how, but I would.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?- You know, I actually don’t.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.- She’s a short, outspoken, Italian woman with the sort of personality that reminds you why storms are named after people. She’s tough as nails and won’t take shit from anyone, but is a rock in times of trouble and will fight tooth and nail for anyone she cares about. She has a kind soul and cares oh so deeply. Her profession is rescuing horses and humans.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?- Overall, definitely. It was full of days spent reading by the pond, exploring the forests until I could lead you to every animal den in the area, playing make-believe with the neighbor kids, and trying to learn all I could about science and the world around me. There were some rough bits, but it was a good time.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?- Last Thursday.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.- The lovely @noahj99, cause he’s got such a calming presence and is an expert at seeing the beauty in things, and we’d have the option of being super dorky or super deep. Plus he’s really tall so I could get a piggyback and be closer to the stars.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?- I would. I have.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?- Last night, with one of my friends from the barn who’s at college right now. She was helping me edit my essay for English class.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?- I have them. I think they’re lovely on other people.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.- “Courage, dear heart.”-C.S. Lewis. It’s something Aslan said to Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia, which my dad always used to read to me before bed when I was little. He would always say this to me when I was scared or going through a rough bit. It’s simplistic, but loving, and a powerful reminder. For me, at least.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?- “I’m Doing My Best, I Promise”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?- Charity, college fund, and savings account. I’m boring. Maybe I’d buy myself a donkey or something ridiculous.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?- Most of the time, but I can be as petty and vindictive as the best of them. I don’t necessarily like it, but it’s the way I am.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.-

Dear me,

You are loved. There are so many people in the world who care about you more than you care about yourself. Skinny is not the same thing as pretty, and keeping at what you’re doing will only make you tired. Stay soft. Stay loving. Fill the world with as much goodness and kindness as you can. Love people, live slow, work hard, and look for the helpers. I know that it seems hard and like things aren’t gonna get better, but there’s a future for you, love. And for goodness’ sake, spend more time at the barn. It’s good for you.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?- Pastel, definitely.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.- Not for me, cause I don’t feel a need to express myself that way, but I respect people who have them. If it means something to you or it makes you feel good about yourself, then who am I to say it’s a bad thing?

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?- I wear a moderate amount, partly because it makes me feel cute which boosts my self confidence, and partly because I’m just self conscious.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.- Our old car had about three CDs in it, so through most of my childhood, I was listening to Billy Joel on the way to school. I don’t know how it’s seriously affected me, other than it’s good music and I think I still have the entire album memorized… Idk, it’s just the first thing I thought of

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.- In the words of the immortal Kurt Vonnegut, “God damn-it, you’ve got to be kind.”

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.- I haven’t actually been to that many concerts. I’ve seen Trampled By Turtles and a couple other local bands a couple times, and those were fun, but I generally try to avoid crowds. Again, I’m boring.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?- I have no idea. I just really like getting letters in general

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?- I work all over the house cause I don’t like sitting in one place for a super long time so I move around a lot, and I’ve got a couple spots I really like outside that are good for studying and stuff. So I guess kind of?

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?- Make tea, shower, skincare crap, brush my teeth, finish whatever homework I have left, and then stay up far too late on this freakin site

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?- I don’t exactly always have the best relationship with food… It’s mostly fine though

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?- A darker, richer brown than it currently is, and longer, cause it would be cute.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?- @the-tiny-tigress, cause she’s lovely, @calevmir, cause he’s a dork and I like talking to him, @noahj99, cause he is a gr8 person and I enjoy his company, my friend Ellie, cause she’s like a sister to me, and i’m gonna say @apureleaf because she is the sweetest and i’d enjoy getting to know her better and stuff. Lol, sorry if that’s weird. It would be really fun to just, like, pile up in a van and go west and see what we find. Just because.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.- Happiness for my friends because I care about them, the survival of the science and justice through the next few years cause those things are important and Trump is terrifying, and the restoration of environmental quality because I love forests and oceans and the atmosphere and all of that stuff is going to shit.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.- Oh man, in fourth grade I dressed up as a dictionary. The cover opened and everything. I was a cool kid.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?- Doesn’t apply, friends. I am but a child.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?- There are a lot of things… I don’t think I could kill anyone though. That’s a pretty safe bet for a hypothetical.

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?- Only one song, because human connection is important to me, and, as much as I love my music, I could deal. Besides, what would happen if I needed to go to the doctor or someone but couldn’t cause I couldn’t see more than one person? It would be terribly inconvenient.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.- I don’t know.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?- Probably not, cause I like braiding my hair and stuff, and I really couldn’t pull off that level of badass.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?- I just get a small chai latte, sometimes with a shot of cinnamon. It’s not super complicated, and I’m not super particular, so I’d really trust just about anyone.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?- Self-discovery. Does that count?

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mysteryshelf · 7 years

Text

BLOG TOUR - Bones to Pick

Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF!

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF by Partners in Crime Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

Bones To Pick

by Linda Lovely

on Tour October 16 – December 16, 2017

Synopsis:

Living on a farm with four hundred goats and a cantankerous carnivore isn’t among vegan chef Brie Hooker’s list of lifetime ambitions. But she can’t walk away from her Aunt Eva, who needs help operating her dairy.

Once she calls her aunt’s goat farm home, grisly discoveries offer ample inducements for Brie to employ her entire vocabulary of cheese-and-meat curses. The troubles begin when the farm’s pot-bellied pig unearths the skull of Eva’s husband, who disappeared years back. The sheriff, kin to the deceased, sets out to pin the murder on Eva. He doesn’t reckon on Brie’s resolve to prove her aunt’s innocence. Death threats, ruinous pedicures, psychic shenanigans, and biker bar fisticuffs won’t stop Brie from unmasking the killer, even when romantic befuddlement throws her a curve.

Book Details:

Genre: Humorous Cozy Mystery Published by: Henery Press Publication Date: Oct. 24, 2017 Number of Pages: 266 ISBN: 9781635112597 Series: Brie Hooker Mystery, #1 Get Your Copy of Bones To Pick by Linda Lovely at: Amazon Barnes & Noble Goodreads

Read an excerpt:

ONE

Hello, I’m Brie, and I’m a vegan.

It sounds like I’m introducing myself at a Vegetarians Anonymous meeting. But, trust me, there aren’t enough vegetarians in Ardon County, South Carolina, to make a circle much less hold a meeting.

Give yourself ten points if you already know vegans are even pickier than vegetarians. We forgo meat, fish, eggs, and dairy. But we’re big on cashews, walnuts, and almonds. All nuts are good nuts. Appropriate with my family.

Family. That’s why I put my career as a vegan chef on hold to live and work in Ardon, a strong contender for the South’s carnivore-and- grease capital. My current job? I help tend four hundred goats, make verboten cheese, and gather eggs I’ll never poach. Most mornings when Aunt Eva rousts me before the roosters, I roll my eyes and mutter.

Still, I can’t complain. I had a choice. Sort of. Blame it on the pig—Tammy the Pig—for sticking her snout in our family business.

I’d consorted with vegans and vegetarians for too long. I seriously underestimated how much cholesterol meat eaters could snarf down at a good old-fashioned wake. Actually, I wasn’t sure this wake was “old fashioned,” but it was exactly how Aunt Lilly would have planned her own send-off—if she’d had the chance. Ten days ago, the feisty sixty- two-year-old had a toddler’s curiosity and a twenty-year-old’s appetite for adventure. Her death was a total shock.

I glanced at Aunt Lilly’s epitaph hanging behind the picnic buffet. She’d penned it years back. Her twin, Aunt Eva, found it in Lilly’s desk and reprinted it in eighty-point type.

“There once was a farmer named Lilly

Who never liked anything frilly,

She tended her goats,

Sowed a few wild oats,

And said grieving her death would be silly.”

In a nod to Lilly’s spirit, Aunt Eva planned today’s wake complete with fiddling, hooch, goo-gogs of goat cheese, and the whole panoply of Southern fixins—mounds of country ham, fried chicken, barbecue, and mac-and-cheese awash in butter. Every veggie dish came dressed with bacon crumbles, drippings, or cream of mushroom soup.

Not a morsel fit for a vegan. Eva’s revenge. I’d made the mistake of saying I didn’t want to lose her, too, and hinted she’d live longer if she cut back on cholesterol. Not my smartest move. The name of her farm? Udderly Kidding Dairy. Cheese and eggs had been Eva’s meal ticket for decades.

My innocent observation launched a war. Whenever I opened the refrigerator, I’d find a new message. This morning a Post-it on my dish of blueberries advised: The choline in eggs may enhance brain development and memory—as a vegan you probably forgot.

Smoke from the barbeque pit permeated the air as I replenished another platter of shredded pork on the buffet. My mouth watered and I teetered on the verge of drooling. While I was a dedicated vegan, my olfactory senses were still programmed “Genus Carnivorous.” My stomach growled—loudly. Time to thwart its betrayal with the veggies and hummus dip I’d stashed in self-defense.

I’d just stuck a juicy carrot in my mouth when a large hand squeezed my shoulder.

“Brie, honey, you’ve been working nonstop,” Dad said. “Take a break. Mom’s on her way. We can play caterers. The food’s prepared. No risks associated with our cooking.”

I choked on my carrot and sputtered. “Good thing. Do you even remember the last time Mom turned on an oven?”

Dad smiled. “Can’t recall. Maybe when you were a baby? But, hey, we’re wizards at takeout and microwaves.”

His smile faltered. I caught him staring at Aunt Lilly’s epitaph. “Still can’t believe Lilly’s gone.” He attempted a smile. “Knowing her sense of humor, we’re lucky she didn’t open that epitaph with ‘There once was a lass from Nantucket.’”

I’d never seen Dad so sad. Lilly’s unexpected death stunned him to his core. He adored his older sisters.

Mom appeared at his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. She loved her sisters-in-law, too, though she complained my childless aunts spoiled me beyond repair.

Of course, Lilly’s passing hit Eva the hardest. A fresh boatload of tears threatened as I thought about the aunt left behind. I figured my tear reservoir had dried up after days of crying. Wrong. The tragedy—a texting teenager smashing head-on into Lilly’s car—provoked a week- long family weep-a-thon. It ended when Eva ordered us to cease and desist.

“This isn’t what Lilly would want,” she declared. “We’re gonna throw a wake. One big, honking party.”

Which explained the fifty-plus crowd of friends and neighbors milling about the farm, tapping their feet to fiddlin’, and consuming enough calories to sustain the populace of a small principality for a week.

I hugged Dad. “Thanks. I could use a break. I’ll find Eva. See how she’s doing.”

I spotted her near a flower garden filled with cheery jonquils. It looked like a spring painting. Unfortunately, the cold March wind that billowed Eva’s scarlet poncho argued the blooms were false advertising. The weatherman predicted the thermometer would struggle to reach the mid-forties today.

My aunt’s build was what I’d call sturdy, yet Eva seemed to sway in the gusty breeze as she chatted with Billy Jackson, the good ol’ boy farrier who shod her mule. Though my parents pretended otherwise, we all knew Billy slept under Eva’s crazy quilt at least two nights a week.

I nodded at the couple. Well, actually, the foursome. Brenda, the farm’s spoiled pet goat, and Kai, Udderly’s lead Border collie, were competing with Billy for my aunt’s attention.

“Mom and Dad are watching the buffet,” I said. “Thought I’d see if you need me to do anything. Are you expecting more folks?”

“No.” Eva reached down and tickled the tiny black goat’s shaggy head. “Imagine everyone who’s coming is here by now. They’ll start clearing out soon. Chow down and run. Can’t blame ’em. Especially the idiot women who thought they ought to wear dresses. That biting wind’s gotta be whistling up their drawers.”

Billy grinned as he looked Eva up and down. Her choice of wake attire—poncho, black pants, and work boots—surprised no one, and would have delighted Lilly.

“Do you even own a dress?” Billy laughed. “You’re one to talk.” Eva gave his baggy plaid suit and clip-on bowtie the stink eye. “I suppose you claim that gristle on your chin is needed to steady your fiddle.”

He kissed Eva’s cheek. “Yep, that’s it. Time to rejoin my fellow fiddlers, but first I have a hankering to take a turn at the Magic Moonshine tent.”

“You do that. Maybe the ’shine will improve your playing. It’ll definitely make you sound better to your listening audience. After enough of that corn liquor even my singing could win applause.”

A dark-haired stranger usurped Billy’s place, bending low to plant a kiss on the white curls that sprang from my aunt’s head like wood shavings. Wow.

They stacked handsome tall when they built him. Had to be at least six-four.

Even minus an introduction, I figured this tall glass of sweet tea had to be Paint, the legendary owner of Magic Moonshine. Sunlight glinted off hair the blue-black of expensive velvet. Deep dimples. Rakish smile.

I’d spent days sobbing, and my libido apparently was saying “enough”—time to rejoin the living. If this bad boy were any more alive, he’d be required to wear a “Danger High Voltage” sign. Of course, Aunt Lilly wouldn’t mind. She’d probably rent us a room.

I ventured a glance and found him smiling at me. My boots were suddenly fascinating. Never stare at shiny objects with the potential to hypnotize. I refused to fall under another playboy’s spell.

“How’s my best gal?” he asked, hugging Eva. “Best for this minute, right?” my aunt challenged. “I bet my niece will be your best gal before I finish the introductions.” Eva put a hand on my shoulder. “Paint, this young whippersnapper is Brie Hooker, my favorite niece. ’Course, she’s my only niece. Brie, it’s with great trepidation that I introduce you to David Paynter, better known as Paint, unrepentant moonshiner and heartbreaker.”

Eva subjected Paint to her pretend badass stare, a sure sign he was one of her favorite sparring partners. “Don’t you go messing with Brie, or I’ll bury you down yonder with Mark, once I nail his hide.”

Paint laughed, a deep, rumbling chuckle. He turned toward me and bowed like Rhett Butler reincarnated.

“Pleased to meet you, Brie. That puzzled look tells me you haven’t met Mark, the wily coyote that harasses Eva’s goats. She’s wasted at least six boxes of buckshot trying to scare him off. Me? I’ll gladly risk her shotgun to make your acquaintance. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Eva gave Paint a shove. “Well, if that’s the case, go on. Give Brie a shot of your peach moonshine. It’s pretty good.”

“Peach moonshine it is,” he said and took my arm. A second later, he tightened his grip and pulled me to the right. “Better watch your step. You almost messed up those pretty boots.”

He pointed at a fresh pile of fragrant poop, steaming in the brisk air inches from my suede boots. “Thanks,” I mumbled. Still holding my arm, he steered me over uneven ground to a clear path. “Eva says you’re staying with her. Hope you don’t have to leave for a while. Your aunt’s a fine lady, and it’s going to be mighty hard on her once this flock of well-wishers flies off.”

His baritone sent vibrations rippling through my body. My brain ordered me to ignore the tingling that remained in places it didn’t belong.

He smiled. “Eva and Lilly spoke about you so often I feel like we’re already friends. ’Course head-shaking accompanied some of their comments. They said you’d need to serve plenty of my moonshine if you ever opened a vegan B&B in Ardon County. Here abouts it’s considered unpatriotic to serve eats that haven’t been baptized in a vat of lard. Vegetables are optional; meat, mandatory.”

Uh, oh. I always gave relatives and friends a free pass on good- natured kidding. But a stranger? This man was poking fun at my profession, yet my hackles—smoothed by the hunk’s lopsided grin— managed only a faint bristle.

Back away. Pronto.

Discovering my ex-fiancé, Jack, was boffing not one, but two co-workers the entire two years we were engaged made me highly allergic to lady-killers. Paint was most definitely a member of that tribe.

“What can I say? I’m a rebel,” I replied. “It’s my life’s ambition to convince finger-lickin’, fried-chicken lovers that life without meat, butter, eggs, and cheese does not involve a descent into the nine circles of hell.”

Paint released me, then raised his hand to brush a wayward curl from my forehead. His flirting seemed to be congenital.

“If you’re as feisty as your aunt claims, why don’t you take me on as a challenge? I do eat tomatoes—fried green ones, anyway—and I’m open to sampling other members of the vegetable kingdom. So long as they don’t get between me and my meat. Anyway, welcome to the Carolina foothills. Time to pour some white lightning. It’s smoother than you might expect.”

And so are you. Too smooth for me.

That’s when we heard the screams.

TWO

Paint zoomed off like a Clemson running back, hurtling toward the screams—human, not goat. I managed to stay within a few yards of him, slipping and sliding as my suede boots unwittingly smooshed a doggie deposit. Udderly’s guardian dogs, five Great Pyrenees, were large enough to saddle, and their poop piles rivaled cow paddies.

I reached the barn, panting, with a stitch in my right side. I stopped to catch my breath. Hallelujah. I braced my palm against the weathered barn siding.

Ouch. Harpooned by a jagged splinter. Blood oozed from the sensitive pad below my right thumb. I stared at the inch-plus spear. Paint had kept running. He was no longer in sight.

The screams stopped. An accident? A heart attack? I hustled around the corner of the barn. A little girl sobbed in the cleared area behind Udderly’s retail sales cabin. I recognized Jenny, a rambunctious five-year-old from a nearby farm. Her mother knelt beside her, stroking her hair.

No child had produced the operatic screams we’d heard. Maybe Jenny’s mother was the screamer. But the farm wife didn’t seem the hysterical type. On prior visits to Udderly, I’d stopped at the roadside stand where she sold her family’s produce. Right now the woman’s face looked redder than one of her Early Girl tomatoes. Was the flush brought on by some danger—a goat butting her daughter, a snake slithering near the little girl?

I walked closer. Then I saw it. A skull poked through the red clay. Soil had tinted the bone an absurd pink.

I gasped. The sizeable cranium looked human. I spotted the grave digger, or should I say re-digger. Udderly’s newest addition, a Vietnamese potbellied pig named Tammy, hunkered in a nearby puddle. Tiny cloven hoof marks led to and from the excavation. Tell-tale red mud dappled her dainty twitching snout. The pig’s hundred-pound body quivered as her porcine gaze roved the audience she’d attracted.

A man squatted beside Tammy, speaking to the swine in soothing, almost musical tones. Pigs were dang smart and sensitive. Aunt Eva told me it was easy to hurt their feelings. The fellow stroking Tammy’s grimy head must’ve been convinced she was one sensitive swine.

“It’s okay,” he repeated. “The lady wasn’t screaming at you, Tammy.”

Tammy snorted, lowered her head, and squeezed her eyes shut. The pig-whisperer gave the swine a final scratch and stood, freeing gangly limbs from his pretzel-like crouch. Mud caked the cuffs and knees of his khaki pants. Didn’t seem to bother him one iota.

The mother shepherded her little girl away from the disturbing scene, and Paint knelt to examine the skeletal remains. “Looks like piggy uncovered more than she bargained for.” He glanced at Muddy Cuffs. “Andy, you’re a vet. Animal or human?”

“Human.” Andy didn’t hesitate. “But all that’s left is bone. Had to have been buried a good while. Yet Tammy’s rooting scratched only inches below the surface. If a settler dug this grave, it was mighty shallow.”

“Probably didn’t start that way.” I pointed to a depression that began uphill near the retail cabin. “This wash has deepened a lot since my aunts built their store and the excavation diverted water away from the cabin. The runoff’s been nibbling away at the ground.”

Mom, Dad, and Aunt Eva joined the group eyeballing the skull. Eva looked peaked, almost ill. I felt a slight panic at the shift in her normally jolly appearance. I thought of my aunts as forces of nature. Unflappable. Indestructible. I’d lost one, and the other suddenly looked fragile. Finding a corpse on her property the same day she bid her twin goodbye had hit her hard.

Dad cocked his head. “Could be a Cherokee burial site. Or maybe a previous farmer buried a loved one and the grave marker got lost. Homestead burials have always been legal in South Carolina. Still are.”

For once, the idea of finding a corpse in an unexpected location didn’t prompt a gleeful chuckle from my dad, Dr. Howard Hooker. Though he was a professor of horticulture at Clemson University by day, he was an aspiring murder mystery author by night. Every time we went for a car ride, Dad made a game of searching the landscape for spots “just perfect” for disposing of bodies. So far, a dense patch of kudzu in a deep ravine topped his picks. “Kudzu grows so fast any flesh peeking through would disappear in a day.”

Good thing Dad confined his commentary to family outings. We knew the corpses in question weren’t real.

Mom whipped out her smartphone. “I’ll call Judge Glenn. It’s Sunday, but he always answers his cell. He’ll know who to call. I’m assuming the Ardon County Sheriff’s Department.”

Dad nodded. “Probably, but I bet SLED—the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division—will take over. The locals don’t have forensic specialists.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “You spend way too much time with your Sisters in Crime.”

It amused Mom that Dad’s enthusiasm for his literary genre earned him the presidency of the Upstate South Carolina Chapter of Sisters in Crime.

Mom didn’t fool with fictional crime. Too busy with the real thing. As the City of Clemson’s attorney, she kept a bevy of lawyers, judges, and city and university cops on speed dial. However, Udderly Kidding wasn’t in the same county as Clemson so it sat outside her domain.

“Judge Glenn, this is Iris Hooker. I’m at the Udderly Kidding Dairy in Ardon. An animal here unearthed a skull. We think it’s human, but not recent. Should we call the sheriff?”

Mom nodded and made occasional I-get-it noises while she clamped the cell to her ear.

“Could you ask them to keep their arrival quiet? Better yet, could they wait until after four? About fifty folks are here for my sister-in- law’s wake. I don’t want to turn her farewell into a circus.”

A minute later, Mom murmured her thanks and pocketed her cell. “The judge agrees an old skull doesn’t warrant sirens or flashing lights. He’ll ask the Ardon County Sheriff, Robbie Jones, to come by after four. Since I’m an officer of the court, his honor just requested that I keep people and animals clear of the area until the sheriff arrives.”

Andy stood. “Paint, help me bring some hay bales from the barn. We can stack them to cordon off the area.”

“Good idea.” Paint stood, and the two men strode off. No needless chitchat. They appeared to be best buds.

I tugged Dad’s sleeve, nodded toward his sister, and whispered, “I think Aunt Eva should sit down. Let’s get her to one of the front porch rockers.”

Dad walked over and draped an arm around his sister’s shoulders. “Eva, let’s sit a while so folks can find you to pay their respects. This skeleton is old news. Not our worry.”

Eva’s lips trembled. “No, Brother. I feel it in my own bones. It’s that son-of-a-bitch Jed Watson come back to haunt me.”

THREE

Jed Watson? The man Eva married in college? The man who vanished a few years later?

Dad’s eyebrows shot up. “Eva, that’s nonsense. That dirtbag ran off forty years back. You’re letting your imagination run wild.”

Eva straightened. “Some crime novelist you are. You know darn well any skeleton unearthed on my property would have something to do with that nasty worm. Nobody wished that sorry excuse for a man dead more than me.”

“Calm down. Don’t spout off and give the sheriff some harebrained notion that pile of bones is Jed,” Dad said. “No profit in fueling gossip or dredging up ancient history. Authorities may have ruled Jed dead, but I always figured that no-good varmint was still alive five states over, most likely beating the stuffing out of some other poor woman.”

Wow. I knew Eva took her maiden name back after they declared her husband dead, but I’d never heard a speck of the unsavory backstory. Dad liked to tell family tales, including ones about long- dead scoundrels. Guess this history wasn’t ancient enough.

Curiosity made me eager to ask a whole passel of none-of-my- business questions, though I felt some justification about poking my nose here. I’d known Eva my entire life. So how come this was the first I’d heard of a mystery surrounding Jed’s disappearance? Was Dad truly worried the sheriff might suspect Eva?

I was dying to play twenty questions. Too bad it wasn’t the time or place.

I smiled at my aunt. “Why don’t I get some of Paint’s brew to settle our nerves? Eva, you like that apple pie flavor, right?”

“Yes, thanks, dear.”

“Good idea, Brie,” Dad added. “I’ll take a toot of Paint’s blackberry hooch. Eva’s not the only one who could use a belt. We’ll greet folks from those rockers. Better than standing like mannequins in a receiving line. And there’s a lot less risk of falling down if we get a little tipsy.”

Aunt Eva ignored Dad’s jest. She looked haunted, lost in memory. A very bad memory.

I hurried to the small tent where Magic Moonshine dispensed free libations. A buxom young lass smiled as she poured shine into miniature Mason jars lined up behind four flavor signs: Apple Pie, Blackberry, Peach, and White Lightnin’.

“What can I do you for, honey?” the busty server purred. I’m still an Iowa girl at heart, but, like my transplanted aunts and parents, I’ve learned not to take offense when strangers of both sexes and all ages call me honey, darlin’, and sweetie. My high school social studies teacher urged us to appreciate foreign customs and cultures. I may not be in Rome, but I’m definitely in Ardon County.

I smiled at Miss Sugarmouth. The top four buttons of her blouse were undone. The way her bosoms oozed over the top, I seriously doubted those buttons had ever met their respective buttonholes. No mystery why Paint hired her. Couldn’t blame him or her. Today’s male mourners would enjoy a dash of cleavage with their shine, and she’d rake in lots more tips.

“Sweetie, do you have a tray I can use to take drinks to the folks on the porch?”

The devil still made me add the “sweetie” when I addressed Miss Sugarmouth. She didn’t bat an eyelash. Probably too weighed down with mascara.

“Sure thing, honey.” I winced when the tray slid over the wood sliver firmly embedded in my palm. Suck it up. No time for minor surgery.

As I walked toward Eva’s cabin, crunching noises advertised some late arrivals ambling down the gravel road. On the porch, Dad and Eva had settled into a rhythm, shaking hands with friends and neighbors and accepting sympathy pats. Hard to hug someone in a rocker.

I handed miniature glass jars to Eva and Dad before offering drinks to the folks who’d already run the gauntlet of the sit-down receiving line. Then I tiptoed behind Dad’s rocker.

“I’ll see if Mom wants anything and check back later to see how you and Eva are doing.”

“Thanks, honey.” He kissed my cheek. I returned to Paint’s moonshine stand and picked up a second drink tray, gingerly hoisting it to avoid bumping my skewered palm. Balancing the drinks, I picked my way across the rutted ground to what I worried might be a crime scene.

Mom perched between Paint and Andy atop the double row of hay bales stacked to keep the grisly discovery out of sight. The five-foot-two height on Mom’s driver’s license was a stretch. At five-four, I had her by at least three, maybe four, inches. My mother’s build was tiny as well as short—a flat-chested size two. I couldn’t recall ever being able to squeeze into her doll-size clothes. My build came courtesy of the females on Dad’s side of the family. Compact but curvy. No possibility of going braless in polite society.

Mom’s delicate appearance often confounded the troublemakers she prosecuted for the city. Too often the accused took one look at Iris Hooker and figured they’d hire some hulking male lawyer to walk all over the little lady in court.

Big mistake. The bullies often reaped unexpected rewards—a costly mélange of jail time, fines, and community service.

Mom spotted my tray-wobbling approach. “Are these Paint’s concoctions?”

I nodded. “Well, Daughter, sip nice and slow. Someday I may file charges against Magic Moonshine. Paint’s shine is often an accomplice when Clemson tailgaters pull stunts that land them in front of a judge.”

Paint lifted his glass in a salute. “Can I help it if all our flavors go down easy?”

Mom turned back to me. “Have you met these, ahem, gentlemen?”

I suddenly felt shy as my gaze flicked between the two males. “I met Paint earlier. This is my first chance to say hi to Andy. I’m Brie Hooker. You must be the veterinarian Aunt Eva’s always talking about.”

Andy rose to his feet. “Andy Green. Pleased to meet you, ma’am. Your aunts were my very first customers when I opened my practice.”

He waved a hand at Tammy, the now demure pig, wallowing a goodly distance away. “I’m really sorry Tammy picked today to root up these bones. I feel partly to blame. Talked your aunts into adopting Miss Piggy. It aggravates me how folks can’t resist buying potbellied pigs as pets when they’re adorable babies, but have no qualms about abandoning them once they start to grow.”

Andy’s outstretched hand awaited my handshake. I held up my palm to display my injury. “Gotta take a rain check on a handshake. Unfortunately, I already shook hands with the barn.”

Andy gently turned up my palm. “I’ll fix you right up, if you don’t mind a vet doing surgery. Give me a minute to wash up and meet me at my truck. Can’t miss it. A double-cab GMC that kinda looks like aliens crash landed an aluminum spaceship in the truck bed. I’m parked by the milking barn.”

As Andy loped off toward the retail shop’s comfort station, Paint called after him. “Sneaky way to hold hands with a pretty lady.”

Andy glanced over his shoulder and grinned. “You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.”

Paint chuckled and focused his hundred-watt grin on me. “Bet my white lightning could disinfect that sliver. Sure you don’t want me to do the honors?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Somehow I doubt honor has anything to do with it.”

The moonshiner faked an injured look. Mom rolled her eyes. “Heaven help me—and you, Brie. Not sure you’re safe with the wildlife that frequents this farm. Forget those coyotes that worry Eva, I’m talking wolves.” She looked toward the porch. “How’s Eva holding up?”

“Better.” I wanted to grill Mom about Jed Watson, but I needed to do so in private. “Guess I should steel myself for surgery.” I took a Mason jar from the tray I’d set on a hay bale. “Down the hatch.” My healthy swallow blazed a burning trail from throat to belly. Before I could stop myself, I sputtered.

“Shut your mouth,” Paint said. Yowzer. My eyes watered, and my throat spasmed. I coughed. “What?”

“Shut your mouth. Oxygen fuels the burn. You need to take a swallow then close your mouth. None of this sipping stuff.”

“Now you tell me.” I choked. Mom laughed. “That’s the best strategy I’ve heard yet to shut Brie up.”

I wiped at the tears running down my cheeks. “Your moonshine packs more punch than my five-alarm Thai stir fry.”

Paint’s eyebrows rose. “My shine is smooth, once you get used to it. You want a little fire in your gut. Keeps life interesting.”

A little too interesting. I’d been at Udderly Kidding Dairy just over a week, and I already felt like a spinning top with a dangerous wobble.

***

Author Bio:

Over the past five years, hundreds of mystery/thriller writers have met Linda Lovely at check-in for the annual Writers’ Police Academy, which she helps organize. Lovely finds writing pure fiction isn’t a huge stretch given the years she’s spent penning PR and ad copy. She writes a blend of mystery and humor, chuckling as she plots to “disappear” the types of characters who most annoy her. Quite satisfying plus there’s no need to pester relatives for bail. Her newest series offers good-natured salutes to both her vegan family doctor and her cheese-addicted kin. She served as president of her local Sisters in Crime chapter for five years and belongs to International Thriller Writers and Romance Writers of America.

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