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zabiume · 2 months

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I get sad thinking about how during ichigo and grimmjows fight in hm. Particularly the moment when he see sees orihime's terrified reaction to his mask. I think he considered her previous trauma with acid wire ofc, but how must he have felt when orihime looked at him like that? She was the girl who managed to make friends with everyone and empathized so deeply with even her enemies, let alone her closer friends. And she was looking at him, completely frozen with fear, and he hated being the source of it. It just makes my feelers hurt so bad for some reason :(

i think the great thing about this fight is that it lets you empathize with both ichigo and orihime without diminishing either of their feelings, which is just. good writing. i'd go so far as to say this fight is also superb because of how it manages to address many overarching themes at once: a) ichigo's human-hollow struggle that keeps rearing its head every now and then b) orihime's complicated relationship with violence c) grimmjow's twisted desire to feel validated by ichigo, who he sees as his own mirror d) ichigo & orihime's long-term struggle to cross the chasm that separates them and meet in the middle.

a lot of people focus on orihime's fear here, but the truth is, ichigo himself was afraid of his hollow and was NOT confident about his ability to control it. when he tells orihime not to be afraid without his mask on, he looks at her and smiles. with the mask, he doesn't even make eye contact. when he accidentally does make eye contact later on in the fight, it crushes him, and the beauty of this fight is that it's all carried out through body language. his heart sinks, and so does yours, if you're invested in the fight. ichigo's entire arc so far has been about mastering this side of himself that he's desperately afraid of losing to, and now the person he's protecting is afraid of him, too. he begins doubting himself: what if grimmjow is right? what if he really did just come here to fight?

if you look at orihime's side of things, she's not wrong either. orihime's entire arc was about self-doubt at this time. she was never really sure of her worth to others, so how could she be sure that ichigo, who's reiatsu is rougher and darker than usual (just like her dead brother) was fighting for her? she does eventually realize her effect on him with a little help from nel. but in the end, nel's testimony doesn't matter much either because orihime realizes she would love ichigo even if he wasn't fighting for her. she just doesn't want him to get hurt.

lucky for us, grimmjow isn't right and it's obvious that ichigo did indeed come to fight him—if only to protect everyone and take orihime back home. fighting is ichigo's means to an end. his reaction to orihime is our indicator of that. the great thing about this fight is what it tells us—that if ichigo was this affected by orihime's face, then it means he truly didn't come here just to fight. that nel's cheers did nothing to grab ichigo's attention, but orihime's first broken whisper did. that having orihime nearby reminds him of what he's fighting for, which is something that literally saves his human life when he's in vasto lorde form. he left his heart with her, just as she did with him before she left. if we began this journey with rangiku saying ichigo needs orihime, this arc shows us how. this fight shows us how. yes, orihime's fear caused him some pain, but none of us can deny how cocky he got when she cheered for him, either, so it goes both ways :D

#i loved this volume very much & now that we have lust & horn of salvation their arc is complete :))))#each ichihime moment has got to be seen as a conversation with other ichihime moments #and that's when you realize how nicely their romantic subplot has been fleshed out over arcs #personal biases aside i dont really understand calling IH rushed when they're the one part of the story that WASN'T rushed #every arc gave them a new status quo to navigate and among all the canon married couples #they're the one we spent the longest time with - even compared to ren&rukia #like sorry for waxing poetic about it i'm sure everyone feels this way about their favorite ships but i loooove IH <3 they're so good #asks #ichihime

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j4jml · 4 months

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“I will intertwine you within my flesh and soul, and I will make the fragrance of your skin my own”

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cult-of-the-eye · 10 days

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( this is on the post of the list of The Fears from scariest to least scary)

please tell me your thoughts about The Fears

1. To me the corruption is the scariest cause wdym there's something inside me slowly rotting me inside to out and there's nothing I can do about it apart from let it take me and it hurts and there's no known cure (btw I am deathly afraid of getting cancer)

2. Flesh isn't as scary as corruption cause like it could be removed from the idea of life, we used to go to the Bangladeshi butchers and watch then cut slabs of frozen fish using their huge machines and shit but also gore and body horror kinda terrifies me, it goes hand in hand with medical horror, like someone's been sliced in half and you realise just how fragile human life is, how at the end we're just organs that are pumping blood and moving chemicals around.

3. Slaughter is less scary than the others cause it could be comforting being killed as a collective but also the theme of death continues, the idea of masses of bodies is so very human in it's causes and consequences and doesn't feel so fictional

4. Buried is less scary than the others cause it's less about death but listen. my entire life I've been terrified that I'm just gonna get stuck somewhere. Like I once couldn't get a churi (bracelet) off my wrist and I got so panicked I just smashed my wrist against a wall to break it off. So yah.

5. The stranger is less scary than the buried cause I could run away from the stranger but the idea that this person I know is not at all who I thought they were is bone chilling. It feels like betrayal at its core.

6. Dark is less scary than the stranger cause over the years I've gotten slightly less scared of the dark but I've gotten more scared of people not being who I thought they were. The dark is comforting, it's a sensory neutral and a life saver on some days. Other days i sprint up the stairs cause I'm scared the murderers hiding in the cupboards will stab me.

7. Mmm now that I think about it I'd probably put web a little higher cause I despise the idea of being manipulated, like don't fucking do that to me, if you want something just fucking ask. But maybe I was right to put it here cause it mostly just makes me irritated than scared.

8. This is the mm kinda chill territory I think cause spiral is just how I spend my life, my brain is not a fun place to be so yeah I'd enjoy being the incarnation of indescribable for the rest of my existence but also the idea of losing my control over myself is a little scary despite my having so much experience in it

9. The eye is ok, I feel some comfort in being watched over, never been left alone, constantly needing information like I get it, I was an autistic 7 year old gorging myself on horrible histories once. But also like if eyes started growing on me I'd start screaming and never stop but I think that's more body horror than beholding

10. The vast is so fucking comforting like the idea that I could just be inconsequential in the face of everything, I could maybe just relax and float in the nothingness for a while. But then also I'm scared of drowning so like I'm bringing arm bands

11. Everything ends. I'm good with consistency and the idea that everything ends makes me feel like there's something to keep going for. I'm not good with endings but what comes after, I am extremely skilled at.

12. I adore the desolation. Oh how I've fantasised about giving it all up, watching it burn before me, the cruel satisfaction in it. I like how quiet everything is after it's been destroyed. A clean slate.

13. Yeah so I have re occurring dreams about being hunted. I think it's half the idea about being wanted enough for someone to pursue me if I run but also the comfort of survival mode. The comfort of knowing the fight won't ever end.

14. The lonely. Oh man. Let's just say I'm on 40mg of fluoxetine for a reason.

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starpros-sunshine · 11 months

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also i think that after seeing that Something is going out with his eichisama tori should also sneak into town to go and see what's the deal with this wataru guy. and he inevitably gets lost but meets hajime and they have a bonding moment barbie movie-style and him and tomoya help tori meet wataru. and then wataru sees tomoya and goes "oho! interesting child!" which once again leads to eichi unreasonable jealousy against this poor random kid

Okay so I've been thinking on this and I've been trying to get something coherent and bear with me right right.

(this got so long again I just started going into detail and detail and detail and oh god I am so sorry)

So Tori, poor, innocent Tori, has to come to terms with the fact that Eichi is hiding something from him (that "Something" being a tall blue-haired extra of unknown origin) and he knows that, technically, the mature thing would be to leave it alone. Eichi will have his reasons for being a little secretive about it. He has his own life and if he doesn't want to be open about...whatever it is that seems to be going on there.... then he doesn't have to be because the man has a right to privacy.

Tori knows that. But Tori also knows that being mature doesn't matter if, technically, his beloved Eichi-sama could be at risk of giving his heart away to a scoundrel that only wishes to play with him until he's bored and then throws him away, breaking Eichis heart in the process. We couldn't have that! And what if he's a criminal? Can you really trust someone who snoops around on other peoples property without their knowing? No you can't! So really it's only natural Tori wants to know what that guys deal is. Out of a genuine concern for his friend. Of course.

And so obviously it's a completely acceptable and normal and rational decision when he sees that Yuzuru isn't there for a moment to keep watch over him like the guard dog that he is (really Tori isn't a child anymore there's no need to be so overprotective) and the other staff members also don't seem to be around and Eichi is also nowhere to be seen, that he decides to take his coat and pack his little bag with some money (read: more money than just "some" money) and tries to sneak out of the house and down the path across the small meadow and the bit of forest that separates their not-so-humble abode from the small town where the other people live.

His inital plan simple. Go there; ask around a little, maybe try some tailing (after hearing stories from the other aristocrats about how one is able to hire people to follow their spouses around without them noticing - and that apparently being an actual thing people earn their money with - he's decided that it can't be that hard and he should try his luck.) and then leaving as quickly as possible, lest Yuzuru die of a heart attack after finding out Tori dissappeared. It would be quick and easy and nobody would ever find out. That was the original plan. But Tori very soon comes to find that that could prove harder than he thought when he notices he actually really really enjoys the feeling of not having anyone hover over him like some sort of falcon watching their prey.

The little river running by the path through the meadow is still frozen (It is winter after all) and the snow on the ground almost reaches his ankles. The 15 minute walk takes him 30 because he keeps jumping around in the snow (He's made three snow angels by now. For a second he has to think of his sister and of how nice it would be if she were here with him too and how they could make snow angels together were it not for her having to stay with their parents, but he pushes that thought to the back of his head again and decides to move on with his way).

When he eventually arrives at the town - and after just wandering aimlessly through the rather empty streets - there are three major epiphanies.

The first one is that he doesn't have a clear destination. He has no idea where to look for the blue-haired weirdo. The second is that, seeing as it is a forenoon in january, most people probably aren't spending their time outside. And if they are then they are at a different place than where he is. And the third and final one: He is completely and utterly lost.

It should be regarded as an accomplishment really. Getting lost in a town with a population of barely 300 locals living there. Indeed Tori would think it impossible. Yet here he is. If anything he's sure he's at least the only one who can claim this feat for himself. This is fine. He has this under control. If he just keeps walking then he's sure to come out somewhere (No there are no tears in his eyes anyone who says otherwise is just imagining things (he decidedly ignores the little voice in his head that tells him "Who's gonna say otherwise. Look around yourself, have you forgotten that you're all alone here?")). So the big brave boy that he is he marches onward, ignoring the way his fingers have started to feel numb from the cold and his eyes have not stopped watering and the little voice in the back of his head that tells him he should've just listened to Yuzuru (He banishes that one to the deepest depths of his subconscious very quickly. There are blows that his pride can take in these situations and then there's having to agree with "You should've just listened to Yuzuru". If There is one thing that can be said about Tori then it's that he is not one to simply give up. He has come this far and he'll be damed if he backs out now).

Lost in thought and not paying much attention to his surroundings (he has more important things to think about right now), he only manages to register a flash of blue in his peripheral vision. And because this could be what he's come here for in the first place but more importantly because this is a person and that is where the bar is set, Tori immediately tries to follow them. If Lady Luck is especially nice to him this time she lets this person be the mysterious stranger he's been looking for, but what feels like a day of walking through empty streets in the biting cold of a noon in late january have humbled him enough to not push it with his luck.

And when he turns the corner, calling out for the figure to wait, insted of the strange man he was expecting he comes face-to-face with a meekish looking boy with blue hair and big violet eyes and next to him there's a second boy, this one able to be described in all aspects with only one word: average. And for a solid ten seconds they all just stare at each other.

Tori doesn't really know how, he really has no idea, but somehow he ended up following the two home. Or, well, more or less. Following isn't really the right word here. After their almost-staring-competition on the street the meekish looking one with the blue hair asked him if he was alright because "he seemed lost" (he absolutely did not.) which then prompted an entire series of events that ended is Tori sitting in this strangers families home - with an entirely different stranger also there - getting a serving of what he assumes to be radish soup. Tori feels a little sorry for the boy, Tomoya, as he said his name was, who seemed like he was previously engaged in a conversation with the other boy, who later introduced himself as Hajime and who had spent the entire way asking him questions about how he ended up here and what someone like him was doing all alone in a sleepy village neighbourhood like theirs and if he really didn't need a tissue (He hadn't cried while explaining how he was lost. He totally hadn't) and on and on and on as Tomoya had to awkwardly walk behind them.

So now, sitting at this table with these two people who he has only met today and who have given him a bowl of soup to warm himself up with, he has to tell everything about how he ended up in this situation in the first place. At the end of his recollection of this oh so wonderful day he is met with two pitying looks an a laugh - apparently one of Hajimes younger siblings had joined them at their little impromptu gathering (he wonders, distantly, how his own sister is doing right now).

And as he's about to say that he should probably make his way home and resume his mission another time when he has a map, Hajime mentions that he actually knows the guy Tori is talking about and that he lives at the local inn and that that isn't that far from them and that he and Tomoya can walk him there if he wants to. Tori agrees immediately. He is so over trying to be discreet about it at this point he really just wants some sort of success in this kind of ridiculous endeavour he's set out on.

So after the soup is finished and his limbs don't feel like they're about to fall off anymore the trio goes on their merry way and Tori feels a little silly because for all the walking around he did before they reach this inn really pretty quickly... maybe he should've thought to bring a map... The three of them venture further into the inn, and Tori only overhears Hajime talking to an older woman, but he's more occupied with looking around the place. It's father homely and rustic, a completely different atmosphere than at their place. There are noises from the few patrons sitting at the tables and chatting with each other, but it only add to the cozy feeling of the entire place.

When Hajime comes back he leads Tori up a little stairway and down a dimly lit hallway. They stop in front of a door at the very end of it (in my head there's a bit of a terasse thing happening there like. you can look down into the part where the tables are and such right right) and Tori barely has time to mentally prepare for the fact that this really is happening now before Hajime knocks and the sound of muffled steps approaching the door can be heard.

When the door finally opens (it's been a few seconds at best but it feels like an eternity), Tori is greeted by the lovely view of a pair of pale clavicles, barely covered by a black linen blouse. He has to actively look up to look at the face of their owner and when he is met with a pair of sharp, purple eyes he feels like his throat just sew itself shut. Hajime explains to Wataru that Tori was looking for him and suddenly a light seems to go up above Watarus head as a look of recognition flashes over his face and he turns around to Tori again and asks him if he's "the princess that Eichi's been telling him all about". Tori is confused. Hajime decides that this is his cue to leave and he slowly backs away to go back down and collect Tomoya, who's been roped into helping out with the catering by some elder gentleman (Wataru watches Hajime as he collects Tomoya and they leave, intrigued by this strangely average boy, as Tori just stares in horror as the realisation dawns upon him that he is now completely alone with this man whom he didn't even intend on speaking to in the first place).

So now he is here. In this very awkward situation. Sitting on a chair in this strangers room (for the second time today! Did he ever have a day this eventful? Who knows! Tori for sure doesn't.). He wants to talk, but Wataru is faster and asks him what he's doing here. Tori doesn't really know how to reply. How do you talk your way around having to tell someone that you actually got lost on the way to spy on them. That's right. You can't. Well, Eichi could. But Tori is Tori and he never wished for that to change more than he did now.

He looks out of the window and it is at that moment that another three major epiphanies reach him. Firstly that he doesn't know what to do now that he's here, secondly that he's going to get murdered by Yuzuru (and if worst comes to worst also Eichi) once he gets back because he's been gone all day without telling anyone and they're probably all worried sick, and last but not least: it is dark outside. He can't go home like that. He is virtually stuck in this predicament he found himself in.

Wataru seems to have a similar thought, because the immediate follow up question after not really getting a coherent answer from Tori is if anyone knows he's gone. Tori shakes his head. If Tsukasa ever finds out about this mess of a situation he will have to die because he would never let Tori live that down.

He gets ripped out of his incoming spiral by the bird that takes a seat on his head and Watarus over-the-top contemplative sigh and the slight lilt in his voice when he voices the next issue that's in the room. He isn't even speaking to Tori anymore, but to his bird that sits on Toris head, Jeanne, and Tori is starting to get annoyed by the way he jokes about this entire thing, calling Tori a "a little bird that escaped its nest", as if he isn't stuck having to prepare for his untimely demise. And by the way this guy hasn't put down his cryptic smile and teasing voice ever since he entered the room. When he thinks things can't get any more awkward for him Wataru proposes two options. Either he walks him home, or Tori has to stay at the inn for the night and he brings him back in the morning. Tori decides he'd rather go back home sooner than later (he'll have to take the lacture either way and he's probably caused everyone enough worries by now anyways. And also he misses his bed.). So Wataru grabs his coat, quickly goes to tell the inn-keepers he's "bringing retuening the princess to ger people" (Tori doesn't know if he liked the bird comparison better or not).

The way back is still very tense because Tori does not dare to walk next to Wataru (he's sketchy it's not Toris fault it's a normal reaction) and so he just awkwardly walks behind him, He doesn't really watch his surroundings - it is dark and the only nice thing is that it's snowing and there are animal sounds and they are spooky and he needs to watch the way and it's easier to think that way - until suddenly he gets hit by a snowball right in the head. And he is so baffled by this that he just stares at Wataru, and Wataru grins at him with his stupid stupid grin and somehow they end up in a snowball fight on this meadow where the only reason you can see anything is because of the snow and when they finally arrive at the mansion they both have so much snow in their hair and their clothes are wet from the melted snow and when they knock on the door and wait for someone to open Wataru gets some of the snow out of Toris hair and says that that snowball fight can be their little shared secret and Tori grins back at him and agrees and when the door opens and both of them are frantically ushered in by a maid that tells another one to get Yuzuru and Eichi Tori decides that maybe this guy isn'r so bad after all. Maybe he's actually quite nice.

#And then Yuzuru scolds both of them #but that's alright because Tori had a very adventurous day #Wataru stays over over the night again because Eichi doesn't let him leave in “this kind of weather” (it's a very mild little snowstorm)#the entire time I was just imagining the backside of that coin with Yuzruru and Eichi realising Tori is missing and all hell breaking loose #it's a little funny to me idk #this was very Tori centric no Eichi in this story just Tori and Hajime and a little bit of Tomoya and Wataru #and I you can tell I was less. yanno. here because I only got really self indulgent with that ending #ALSO IT IS THREE AM THIS IS MY FINAL MESSAGE TO THE WORLD GOOD NIGHT #And this got so unbelievably long I have been sitting here for HOURS #Never let me write scenarios ever again it will go way ouf of hand and by the end I will have forgotten how to english #and it will show #and I will accidentally write an actual fleshed out silly little scenatio instead of just a long post #also I think this is the longest as of yet how did I do this #do you know how hard it is to describle Hibiki Wataru without sounding like the gayest person on the planet?#this was easier when it was about Wataei and I could just wax poetically about him #I don't even care I'm just looking forward to going to sleep right now #this could've been better but I'm not a fanfic author for a reason #namely because I'm bad at it #bard/noble au

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ratnukegenius · 7 months

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[ ID in alt. ]

i sketched out some pride month challenge for randomly generating a handful of rainbow characters and then drawing them all. obviously i never finished this piece, esp not in time for pride month, but i'm cleaning up my wips and figured i should throw this out there... all of these are my original characters from various projects :)

#2023 #some are more fleshed out. than. others .... looks at anastasia #oc issac johnson #ghost house #oc mark dubois #spoiler alert! you're the killer.#oc jubilation #there's no poetic way to say this #oc willa suaviter #catharsis #khcotd #oc roy miller #prolegomenon #oc anastasia carreon #introverts/loners/societal rejects and associated peoples club #can you tell i liek stupidly long names for my projects...

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iloveyouitisruiningmylife · 6 months

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so I was thinking this since yesterday because of these tags on the webweave

and this one came after that

and it made me think like what if. what if. it's actually not that deep it's just me who's so emotionally attached to this piece of media because i have known it for this long and it's my coping mechanism.like what if that second person watches jjk and doesn't connect with them like this and they end up hating it because i gave them hope and i made it deeper than it is💀

i am so mad at your brain for spiralling down this road because all i can think is OMG!!!!!! YOUR WEBWEAVE IS SO AWESOME PEOPLE WANT TO WATCH THE SHOW JUST BECAUSE OF SOME PICS AND QUOTES GLUED TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!! also pls i love the first tags so cute with DO ANOTHER!!!!

#vio babe in my experience #main kaise samjhau without hurting you 😭#but like the canon is always so much more underwhelming than fanmade material 😭#like for kpop you look at the content they give us and you look at the fan fiction ekdum zameen asmaan ka farak hai #but like i don't think you should feel guilty or something because like as a fan all it makes me think is omg #people writers artists are so fucking cool and poetic and awesome how did they take something simple and beautiful and turn it into #something completely different deeper richer better more fleshed out how did they put so much thought into this #and how im so so so thankful that this media existed as a base so that these wonderful artists could get inspired and make such #beautiful things for the world to see #like yk how i felt na seeing stsg i was like that's it??? what are people so crazy about that was barely anything??????#but the fandom made me love them so much more than canon did because they analysed every little interaction #every quirk or smile or dialogue and made something complicatted and big out of it and now i see the full picturr and it all falls into #place??#like canon is just adhoora without people like you okay you make it more loveable accessible you're literally carrying the fandom on your #that guy what's his name gege? he should fucking send u thank you cards and like 5000 dollars for making that webweave okay #ok bohot zyada bol diya if my point got lost somewhere i just mean ki ily and your over thinking brain #vio love

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bones-ivy-breath · 2 years

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Introduction: Both Flesh and Not by Mayra Rivera, from Poetics of the Flesh

Text ID:

"Relation" is the most encompassing category in Glissant's work, but it is decidedly not (simply) one. It is manifold and dynamic, elusive and opaque. These traits are at the heart of the imaginative elements of poetics, which is contiguous with poiesis—"creative making." He explains that because Relation is indeterminate, it cannot be fully known. Not knowing Relation is thus not a weakness, Glissant assures us. But "not wanting to know it certainly is."

#quote #typography #mayra rivera #literature #poetics #Édouard Glissant #poetics of relation #academia #dark academia #light academia #original post #art #creativity #writing #poetry #poetics of the flesh

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the-cormorant · 2 months

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March productivity challenge - day 5

today the magnolias bloomed and we cut up a heart in school.

Do you have a favourite movie in particular or do you like them by genre? What's your favourite movie and/or genre?

well, i am generally a big fan of animation, especially the studio ghibli film Porco Rosso is special to me in a personal way. But i believe my all time favourite film is Perfect Days.

#march productivity challenge #my things #tw blood #tw flesh #they went all out with the italian dub in porco rosso #surprisingly good #realistic in the usage of both swearwords and poetic language

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september-poetry · 7 months

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flesh

take my ribs and make myself anew

from the bones and sinew of my corpse

pull me out of the bloody wreckage i left behind

pull apart my chest

break me apart

to love myself again

a self-made monster

they tear apart my rotten flesh

meat meets teeth, fangs meet flesh

pulling, gnawing, swallowing

the bite marks stain my skin

bloodied and broken, dripping down

looking up with hooded eyes

tired of fighting

surrender to the rage

break them

bruise them

end them

lose them

take it all away

consume them

consume yourself

crucify your heart

sacrifice your skin

exposed to the elements

cold

polluted

beating under the floorboards of your mind

let in consume you

surrender to the flesh

to the body

to yourself

shed your skin

the constraints of being human

12 / 10 / 23

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greencheekconure27 · 8 months

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No but I'm still on that Jesus statue being absorbed by the tree.

Now I still haven't traced the image beyond that one Reddit post so I'm not sure about the material but just think about it: wood being transformed by the sculptor into a religious object (and at the same time into something we humans ought to recognize as flesh, as a body) and yet by the very act of worship (placing it into a tree) it is returned to wood again: and then, many years later it might be found in the wood when the tree is cut down, and the very fact of it's miraculous (re)discovery filling it with even greater religious significance, making it even more alive than it was when it first became a statue...

#not catholic and not particularly religious in general but the art historian in me is having Feelings ok?#something something the cycle of wood-flesh-wood-flesh #fascinating #thoughts #art history #always been drawn to these little tree shrines you seesometimes #excuse me while i wax poetically

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boyybites · 10 months

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What happens to heirloom demons if what they’re bound to is damaged or destroyed?

They'd get damaged or destroyed as well. In Mister's case he was able to be repaired albeit haphazardly.

And it would depend on the severity of the damage. Really though theyd have to be ground to dust to really get rid of them since they cant truly die. (Which makes them great bodyguards for the families they're assigned to.)

(In the case of the one Mister killed he made sure he stayed dead so there was no coming back from that one even if their maker wanted it so.)

#oc asks #asks #i think itd be interesting if makers destroyed the demons to make them into new ones.#no memories from the past one linger #but to have your flesh ground down to make someone else anew would be poetic really

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khaoticsincubus · 1 year

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Who I used to be by Finnigan Fox (pt. 1)

Life is a misery, life is a joy.

You're responsible for your happiness.

There's a child in you that just wants to play, you push it away, uncertain to call out and reach your hand out. You want to but terrified. Why? There's nothing wrong with that. Why be afraid or ashamed of the little voice in you who act child-like? Why push yourself to act like the adult society forces upon you? Why not reminisce in the innocence of childhood and nostalgia and the past where worries never existed at the time? Why so harsh and angry at the world and yourself? Perhaps you yearn for something that you have trouble understanding?

Time will pass by, laughing at the mockery of you wasting it as you're wallowing under the gloomy grey sky.

You wish to be happy.

You wish to be rich.

You wish to be heard.

You wish to be seen.

You wish for a good friend or two.

You wish to be praised.

You wish to be loved.

You wish to be enough.

You wish...

And wish...

And...

Wish...

And wish until you grow weary of life, left unanswered.

It's never your fault, yet it is your responsibility and duty to pick yourself up everytime someone failed you. It's hard to stand up, especially alone.

You hate your skin, your shell, every part of you. And you glance at the world outside, overcoming with rage, maybe even immense sorrow and everything in-between you despise why are even here? Why are you so unfortunate to exist? Wondering if you can find what you have always dreamt of, what you wanted handed to you.

I may not know you but...

I don't want you to miss those lavender sunsets, the bustling city lights under the midnight sky. The simple joys of picking flowers by the roadside and the smile you radiate without showing as you leap in joy seeing a cat strolling, a dog trotting, merrily visiting you as you trudge forth.

The smell of your favorite scent, the texture of an old treasure or two, a butterfly landing on top of you...

The world is big in one view and small in another.

There's too many too say and too little to express as time is a matter of gold that awaits you patiently.

Life may not always favor you but there are those who are willing.

Chin up, and take the walk. Take the road. You'll meet them and I promise you Regret will never come at your door.

And here I hope that the goodness of luck finds you soon, offering you a hand until you are ready to step out of the cage of the horrible world you're trapped in.

Finnigan kicks his feet in joy, feeling proud of himself. It has been a while since he was able to make a good piece of literature in his diary.

The day had slowed down, his chores finished, and a nice warm meal was ready in case Ren finally arrives back home.

Although the years may have been closely similar they still haven't diminished the light in his eyes and bounce in his leaps.

On very rare occasions Ren refers to him as Strade which he might think is a funny little nickname with an interesting story behind it. But for the few times he asked out of curiosity it has met him with terribly unfortunate fates. It scars him to never utter the name again unless he wants to be turned into... a star!

No, please no! He has seen them all, forced to participate in the horrors. It used to be enjoyable but ever since he experience the true torture first-hand it has been nothing but a nightmare. He wondered if he would be in front of the camera next, a live stream watching him perform.

But he wants to stay here, everything else is great once he sees past it. He even considers it better than his old life! He didn't get much choice anyways...

But here he doesn't have to hide his ears and tail... or even talk to people he does not want to... And money isn't that much big of a struggle. He tells himself this is the easy life, dirty but easy nonetheless!

He hears the doors slam shut. Ren is back...

#Spotify #idk how long its been catching webs at the bottom of my drafts but here it is #old poetic vent #im recycling this damn baby #the announcer tpof #tpof oc #tpof dlc #tpof ren #tpof #the price of flesh #gatobob

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