#poor rolling

[we-are-a-dragon]

Tati (playing Seraph): Before I eat I want to make an Arcana check on the food. I pick up a macaron and surreptitiously sniff it.

Rach (playing Ashiok): Arcana check here too.

Hamish (playing Thaddeus): I want a Nature check for poisons.

DM: I want you each to make Bluff checks to be sneaky about this.

Tati: 40.

DM: Nice.

Hamish: ...22.

Rach: *winces* 18.

DM: So you two are just very obviously inspecting everything with big frowns on your faces. The Count watches you with narrowed eyes.

M (playing Kjell): I'm not making any checks, I trust they'll figure out if anything's wrong.

Adam (playing Billie): Yeah, I'm the empress, my stooges can poison check for me.

DM: There's nothing magical about the food. However, Thaddeus, as you peer blatantly into your goblet, you can see a smear of half-dissolved white powder in the cordial.

Hamish: *eyes widen* Oho! I manifest my wings and halo, shove the goblet toward him and thunder "What's this white powder in my cup?"

Tati: I drop the macaron I was sniffing.

DM: He recoils very slightly and laughs awkwardly. "White powder in your drink?? Well, I never..." He pulls up the arm of his chair-

Tati: I reach for my staff.

DM: And the chair tips him into a trapdoor underneath and pops back up without him.

Party: *erupts*

#funny #dnd #poison #poor rolling #Seraph #Ashiok #Thaddeus #Kjell #Billie #Lyra DM #just little d&d things #ooc #NPCs #Count Baron S Knight #arcana #nature #bluff #oops #angel #yeet #travelling trauma centre

[posthumousvigor]

Obi-Wan being star wars' biggest damsel in distress while also being one of the most powerful jedi ever is so funny to me. Like he's getting captured on purpose. That has to be whats happening. "Oh nooo ive gotten tied up by somebody who's obsessed with me again!!looks like someone equally obsessed with me has to swoop in and save me :33" He's the pillow princess of warfare

#like when he gets kidnapped by maul and ventress saves him #anakin runs after him so much grievous comes up with a fun little saying #which doesn’t really roll off the tongue but its okay king we can workshop it #and poor cody give that man a medal #star wars #obikin #codywan #obi wan kenobi

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji might be an unstoppable force, but Xie Lian has 800+ years of practice of being an immovable object.

(poll results here for context)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #bonus comic #The most resounding conclusion the community came to agree on is thar Xie Lian is bad at cooking on purpose #and is stubborn to the point of refusing to let go of this feature (not a bug) of himself. #though if you practice being bad at something on purpose you do just…get bad. #Poor lan wangji probably had to watch him do horrendous food crimes in the kitchen. #crushing eggs in his fists and throwing it into the bowl or pan (shell and all). #Burning water. Throwing in ingredients based on the roll of a dice. Putting in leaves and cool rocks he found. #He is living his best life mind you. And I think as long as he is happy then let him make his potions. #This is *his* version of art therapy. It just shouldnt be fed to anyone. #lwj would probably try to make it more theraputic after realizing that the bad cooking skills were on purpose. But even then XL is a rock. #he will not do anything he does not want to. Including processing feelings. #Don't idealize that btw. You will do yourself no favours by ignoring hard emotions. Love and peace everypony; Its a hard world out there. #Hua Cheng and wwx hung out during all of this and have since become hunting buddies. #Sometimes its birds sometimes it's each other. For sport.

[endrae]

the ocean eyes, bearing the grief of time and space

I'm once again vibing dh, don't mind me

#dishonored #the outsider #outsider #dishonored art #corvo attano #kinda #he is just a prop here #poor man #endrae art #oh look I once again headbutted the color picker #thats how I roll #also I knoooow outsider is like fucking tall #but the composition maan #corvo is standing on a stool if someone asks

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #58 Part 1

His parents studied ghosts. Danny didn’t understand as a kid why everyone made fun of his parents. Now that he was 12, the thought was ludicrous and yet his parents continued their work on the portal. Danny had his sister Jazz though and the siblings were rather close. 

Jazz had spent a lot of time studying lately stating that she wanted to get into a good college. Danny understood he did, but being alone sucked and he couldn’t help it as he sighed kicking a pebble down the sidewalk. 

It was a nice hot summer day, the kind of day you’d want to spend at the beach or a pool. Danny however had other ideas. He was on the way to the local library. If Jazz was going to spend her summer studying for the ACTs then Danny was going to study what he wanted, Space. He quickly found a few books and got settled into a chair as he read. Space really was fascinating, he hoped one day his dream of becoming an astronaut would come true. 

An hour or so passed before Danny was interrupted, “what are you reading?” The voice started Danny out of his trance as he looked up at his interrupter. A boy about the same age as Danny with the same black hair and blue eyes that Danny had. His skin was more tan than Danny’s own pale white. 

Danny fidgeted in his seat for a moment before answering, “Astronomy: guide to the stars” Sure, Danny knew the text was college level but he already read all the ones for high and middle school. 

Damian seemed to hum thoughtfully with a hand on his chin before speaking again, “the book you're reading seems advanced, you seem smarter than your age would dictate. Father has requested that I visit the library and try to ‘make a friend or two’ in his words. I don’t see the need for companionship but if I must I’d rather it be with someone intelligent. My name is Damian.” It was a bit much but Danny guessed from what Damian said that he was complementing Danny. 

“Uh, Danny… I guess most of the people in my family are pretty smart.” He replied after a moment. 

Danny thought it was odd that someone wanted to be friends with him. Everyone at the public elementary school he went to knew who his parents were so they wanted nothing to do with him. It was lonely but Danny didn’t mind it too much, but Damian didn’t act like he knew Danny’s Parents. The thought of having a friend that didn’t judge him for who his parents were made Danny a little excited. 

“What occupation do your parents have?” It was a simple question with a not so simple answer. 

Oh, Danny’s heart stuttered a little bit at the thought of Damian knowing anything about. He didn’t want to lie, especially to his new friend but he didn’t want to tell him the truth. 

“Uh, they’re scientists but I don’t really know what they do…” Danny said carefully and slowly. He was sure Damian bought it. 

The two spent the next couple hours just talking in the library. It had started to get late and Damian needed to head back home. 

“Do you own your own phone?” Damian asked, it wasn’t uncommon, for most kids in his class had a cheap hand me down phone for emergencies. Danny unfortunately didn’t as his parents probably didn’t care where he was.

Danny shrugged, “not really, I could borrow my sisters but it really only gets used for emergencies.” 

Damian seemed to frown at this thinking for a moment before nodding as if he came to a conclusion, “my brother Todd has mentioned that it’s hard for low income houses to afford something I’d consider a necessity in this city. You do know how high the crime rate is, yes?” Danny nodded but he didn’t know what that had to do with having a phone Damian cleared his throat before continuing, “as you are now my friend I’d like to offer to purchase one for you.”

Danny hadn’t owned anything like a phone before, “a-are you sure? I don’t really need one, my parents don’t really… care?” He felt uncomfortable with his new friend spending money on him, Damian seemed like an important person especially with the clothes he wore and how he carried himself. Danny felt like he’d be taking advantage of his new friend if he bought Danny a phone. Danny closed the book he was holding and took a breath before speaking again, “I appreciate the offer but I wouldn’t have anything to offer you in return.” He let his gaze fall to the cover of the book, a swirling galaxy on a black background and bold yellow text. 

“I would not have offered it if I wasn’t sure.” Damian stated firmly causing Danny’s head to snap back up, “I do not need anything in return, however if you really intend to pay me back, Father has insisted that I bring a friend home sometime. Since we have established that we are friends I insist that you come visit every so often to, as Richard puts it ‘get him off my back’.” It sounded like a simple request but Danny was unsure. If Damian was someone important then his family was bound to be even more important. 

He took a moment to think about it, but Jazz would be happy Danny finally made a friend…

“Alright, I accept,” Danny said as they shook hands. It might have been a little childish but he could tell he made some sort of bond with Damian. 

After that they had quickly become friends. Once Danny had become accustomed to being in the Wayne house he basically became family, and was often visiting, especially to eat Mr. Pennyworths cooking. Mr. Wayne also seemed fond of Danny, he even offered to pay for Danny to go to Gotham Academy along with Damian. Danny had been hesitant at first but Damian quickly wore him down. Tim eventually wormed his way into the group as he and Danny bonded over the latest video game releases. Soon Jazz got roped into the group too as she started to visit the manor to get away from how noisy the lab got. 

A couple years had passed since the day that started the road to their friendship and the four of them had really bonded since then. Unfortunately their parents had finished the portal and its here where things go downhill for Danny.

In the next one Danny dies and all 4 of them are deeply traumatized.

Damian saw his dad doing research on the Fenton family, Bruce is just looking out for potential rouges and Damian took the opportunity to become friends with Danny. He figured that he could just bribe Danny into being his friend like all the kids at his school try but Danny is a lil cinnamon roll. Taken aback from how sweet Danny is Damian decided that Danny really was smart and worth being a friend. Tim has the same thoughts especially as Danny starts visiting the mansion more. Jazz loved that Danny had a spot to go where people seemed to actually care about him and she eventually gets dragged into the group. You can only drop off your brother at the Wayne’s so often before you get dragged into the group as well and I thought Tim and Jazz can be the same age and can bond over being older siblings.

#dp x dc prompt #danny fenton #danny phantom #dp x dc #dc x dp #writing prompt #poor danny #Danny and Damian became friends #Tim and Jazz eventually become friends and join #Danny is a cinnamon roll #bad parents jack and maddie #Whole lot of exposition #I this is what happens when I take my time to write #Jazz is an amazing older sister #my asks are open #all my prompts are free to use

[dizzybizz]

the little chipper

#theres so much i awnt to draw of the trio you dont even know im so #HSJAAFNFDMGDFHGFHDFGDFH #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #jrwi chip #im not tagging him as “chip bastard” 😭😭 poor guy cant catch a fkn break #my art #i feel so sane and normal #his design changes so often. ilove it so much but like damn theres always more stuff to keep track of ... ghgnh #also i gave gill n jay little critter friends n i was contemplating just putting some ollies in here but i didnt #just know it was considered

[justa-moth]

i love how both condi and milo know chip cant beat em

#the whole song is just 3 minutes of chip getting his ass beat #the allegations spit facts and chip does the 'well thats interesting because-' 🏃‍♂️ #here lies chip jrwi #poor boy never even had a chance #jrwi #jrwi riptide #just roll with it #just roll with it riptide #jrwi chip #jrwi fish and chips #jrwi fnc #chip jrwi

[hatoddity]

1970’s ARTHUR BENNET LETS GOOO (+ void!!)

Ik the 70s had a shit ton of vibrancy but do you think he would drop his emo ass aesthetic for one minute? No.

Also poor void, she can pay taxes & crunch them numbers but she can’t roller skate… :[)

#Jrwi #fanart #jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi the suckening #just roll with it #the suckening fanart #arthur Bennett #Poor void guys :( #The ass was intentional #Like. Cmon. #GYAT DAYUM- #He low key kills in this outfit. Roller rink legend #Sorry for the sideburns #but they were SO prominent from what I looked up #Void jrwi #I FOROGT THE EXTRA T IN “BENNETT “ & IM SO UPSET ABT THATGGHH

[ghostdrinkssoup]

why do all the killers in s1 want to date hannibal so bad. he’s the hottest girl in school and they’re all down horrendously bad but he’s obsessed with will, the sad loser in the corner who doesn’t even notice him… what in the high school romcom is this

#there is so much dating imagery in this show #‘the killer is peacocking for the ripper’ okay ??? damn they all want him #tobias literally serenaded him. wrote him a love song and a visual poem #and what does will do? he just sits there and says the most deranged shit you ever heard #whispers the edgiest lines under his breath and darts his eyes #and hannibal is pulling his hair and giggling and rolling around in his bed like get a GRIP #hannibal is not god’s strongest soldier that’s the message of the show #for a cannibal he has horrifically poor taste in men #hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannigram #ghost speaks

[championsandheroes]

Being told that my character hasn't been cleaning themselves properly in at least ten days was honestly the worst and most shocking part of the game. Gale and Lae'zel can go on about how they like your musk all they want, it doesn't matter. Ten days of wandering around and fighting? We camp next to a river? And yet???

If you are interested in your own vampire spawn to bring with you on adventures so that you can skip out on personal hygiene, contact the Szarr estate at Patreon or society6.

#champions and heroes #baldur's gate 3 #Astarion #Tav #Gale of Waterdeep #I honestly admire Astarion's self-control #poor man's starving and you're constantly rolling around in food like it's no big deal #it's bad enough that you're a walking meal #you don't have to marinate yourself in it too #you're practically mocking him #the fact that it takes days before he breaks is honestly nothing but miraculous #and no you don't get to complain #you should have thought about the possibility that the extremely pale elf with red eyes fangs and bite marks might be a vampire

[we-are-a-dragon]

Andy (playing Una): I'd like to make a History check on curses.

M (playing Kjell): I'm not much good with any of the Wisdom or Intelligence skills, so I'll use my turn to assist Una. Oh, terrible roll. I'm no help at all, sorry.

DM: Una, your check is really good. Kjell tries to reference a book you've mentioned to sound smart, but actually has no idea what he's talking about.

Andy: "Sweetie, that book was about genealogy."

M: "Fuck. I'll just make some tea, then."

#funny #dnd #fail #curse #Una #Kjell #Lyra DM #just little d&d things #ooc #skill challenge #history #poor rolling #books #travelling trauma centre

[jeeaark]

Previously on 'Orpheus' First Impressions'

Alternative Titles: Famous Last Words, Cue 'If You Like Pina Coladas' Epic Trailer Song, If Store-Bought is Unavailable, Self-Made Pina Colada is Fine, and It May Not Be The Pina Colada Anybody Wanted, but It's the Pina Colada Everyone Needed.

So I vaguely heard what could happen to Karlach and kept that in my in-case-of-emergency-break-glass reload mindset. But uh. Nah. Greygold had an ✨Agenda✨ after all of that.

Was so dedicated to volunteering, didn't even let Orpheus finish talking. nor read the other options. Nor said any goodbyes or talk it out with the others. No second thoughts, Just fully resonating the saying 'if you want things done right, you gotta do it yourself'

Kept wondering why Orpheus kept calling it a 'noble sacrifice' until the uh. Cutscene happened. Forgot that ceremorphis wasn't like a uh. wildshape shift or a magical girl transformation. Which means Greygold definitely hadn't been listening to Lae'zel's explicit descriptions of the process way back in the beginning. Too busy getting lost in babe's eyes, whoops.

Speaking of babe, she sounded pretty cranky again during the huddle talk to squidification (when I checked it out after the game), but I like to think it's because she was trying to put on a brave soldier face from how upset she really was about the situation.

Lae'zel after Orpheus' mindblown callout: This is the worst moment of my life. Lae'zel now, Drenched in her Joy's Blood: ........No, this is. This is worse.

But also I don't know if it's been confirmed what Orpheus' stance was on if he'd've worked with Emps or not, but in this reality? From the vibes I was was getting? Gonna play with the idea of it being a big 'nah'. More 'fun' this way.

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #orpheus #greygold #bg3 fanart #bg3 comic #rolling nat 20s on intimidation checks totally #poor lae'zel can't use violence to solve this problem

[artandbrimstone]

ohhhhh guess who finally watched the black rose pirates oneshot

oh my god chip just roll with it you’re so fucked man

#oh im insane AAAAAA CHIP JRWI AAAAA #ohhhh chip my poor boy #i fear how arlin will react to seeing him man #the hole in his chest and all #he has literally had like three good days in his life #and his dad figure doesnt even remember one of them correctly #art #my art #jrwi #artists on tumblr #jrwi chip #chip jrwi #chip just roll with it #just roll with it #just roll with it spoilers #jrwi spoilers #jrwi riptide #black rose pirates #chip james #riptide pirates #jrwi riptide fanart #just roll with it riptide

[meliake]

If I read one more fucking fic where Tim begs for his life in Titan's Tower I'm actually going to explode like?? READ IT????

Tim is a little fucking shit the entire time, fully confident in his abilities until the very end. And Jason didn't try and kill him, just gravely injured him to send a message, hence the bloody writing. Like guys- he could have killed him but purposefully didn't to prove his point.

There was no moment of regret for him because the 'pit rage' got to him, he was in full control of himself all throughout electrocuting Cyborg and Beastboy, putting Raven to sleep. LIKE GUYS PLEASE JUST READ THE ISSUE I STG

#tim drake #jason todd #batman #red hood #red robin #robin #Its actually getting to be a deal breaker for me in any angsty fic #like Its a post Bruce getting stuck in the timeline fic and a mention of titans tower rolls around and Im like #noooo #how it this gonna play out #and if they talk about 'beating a poor innocent traumatized kid' #I physically cannot read it #Its a sign they dont actually read any comics or underdtand their characterization #LET TIM BE A LITTLE BITCH SOMETIMES #LET JASON CONCIOUSLY MAKE BAD CHOICES SOMETIMES #irks me so bad #sorry Im ranting in the tags #Titans tower

[peevishpants]

saw a guy freezing his ass off at the bus stop

#i dont support smoking but he came out of the bus shelter to slam 3 simultaneous cigs in the 4 mins it took for the bus to come #it was literally -6C outside!!! poor guy rolled up gloveless hatless jacketless #and it was so compelling i came home and had to draw him #weiwei art #sketch #rkgk #weve got our own freaks here #doodle #people

[hellomagicalsouls]

could you imagine being Five? Having to bury your siblings at the age of 13, only being to vaguely recognise them via a tattoo on their arms?

only to get back to those people and realise that not only have they barely spoken to each other since he got lost. They barely liked each other at that point.

they loved each other yes, but liked? I don't think so.

And one died tragically young to a point where none of them talked about it.

i mean does Five even know how Ben died? Do you think Five looked for Ben only to not find him? Or did he find his statue and realise that Ben had been gone for years at that point?

imagine going from the young versions of them which weren't happy but happy enough. To the versions that he buried, only to realise they were probably just as lonely as he was.

Five trying to fix his family so nobody has to feel like him when they probably already have.

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #five hargreeves #umbrella academy five #tua five #he was 13 years old i feel like people forget that #its alwas aww klaus was rolling joints at 13 five buried his family!!? #just thinking about five and how he deserves better #hes been trying for so long and i hope he gets the ending he deserves #let him retire #let him be happy #poor five they love him they just don't know how to show it #none of them do