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rocketturtle4 · 10 months

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Be My Favorite - When is the present actually the future?

I’m pretty sure writing this is about to consume my entire Saturday but by the time I wake up tomorrow La Pluie will have been out for 6 hours and my Sunday brain will have other things to think about! (it actually only took about half of it so I'm considering that a win)

I have read through my Tumblr feed for people’s thoughts on the latest Be My Favorite episode and I absolutely have to share because I found that while ideas and themes explored mirrored my own thoughts, the conclusions people were putting forth about where the show might be going were completely different.

(Posts I don't specifically reference in this but that which I definitely read and you should too include @syrena-del-mar and @shouldiusemyname here and @chickenstrangers here )

Also shoutout to @bengiyo because I used your sarge watches to reduce how much I had to go back and watch things.

LETS CLOWN

(am I, am I using it right? I have so many questions about the LINGO and I don’t know who to ask)

My Hypothesis: Kawi is going to be faced with the ultimate choice of remaining in the past or the present when the crystal ball runs out of charge and he will choose to remain in the past where he must face his uncertain future.

Okay, stay with me please

Question 1: When is Kawi actually in the present?

Last week I made a throw away post about the time travel being a metaphor for being unable to skip ahead in life without consequences. In particular this scene (a flashback at the very end of episode 4):

Got my brain thinking about how Kawi and the people around him freeze in their character development whenever he jumps forward, so maybe his present is actually in the past.

EVIDENCE

Timeline 1: OG Future

In this timeline Kawi essentially froze the moment the crystal ball was broken. In the OG Future he is distantly acquainted with classmates, sad for the death of his father (from whom he was distant), distant from Max and has never drunk any alcohol. This is all directly reflective of where he was at the time he broke the crystal ball.

Timeline 2: Future 2 – He’s Pisaengs best man

In this timeline he’s been back in the past, and acted very unlike himself because he assumes he's dreaming. At the end of this timeline he ends up in the very early stages of becoming Piseang’s bestie. We have not yet had serious (feelings) tension between Piseang and Kawi, only a single night of bonding and I would argue that in this particular future timeline, Piseang is not in love with Kawi. He has become a platonic bestie (something that could never happen without the time skip) because these were the emotions Kawi and Piseang had for each other in the past even if these were pretty fledgling emotions when Kawi left. (Also, Kawi now drinks heavily, something he did for the first time in this immediate past when he thought it was a dream).

Timeline 3: Future 3: Piseang is in love with him and abandons his own wedding.

In the past Kawi is more intentional with his actions to change things. We also see his confusion around how he became Piseangs best man because as Kawi continues to grow and learn this option doesn’t make sense (But as a frozen version of the previous past's future…) (I'm losing track of the tense I can feel it)

In this timeline we have only progressed slightly further through the past but all the development was around Kawi and Piseang and Piseang’s growing feelings (Piseang getting Kawi the plushie happens in this Future’s linked Past). And we come forward to Piseang finally giving into his feelings and kissing Kawi. This scene is very similar to Piseang almost kissing Kawi in the past in the following episode (episode 3) when they fall over because in Piseang’s arc these things happened at a pretty similar point in time, its just that in this future he was frozen at his point of realization until Kawi’s consciousness returned to his body on the morning of Piseang’s wedding. He could only act after Kawi was back to being old!Kawi, because of things being frozen.

Timeline 4: He’s Famous and it’s a mess

In the linked past here, Kawi has JUST debuted as a lead singer, has turned down Piseang kindly but Piseang has made his devotion clear, has decided to date Pear ‘because he’s in love with her’ BUT Pear is feeling uncertain about her place in Kawi’s life (evidence: both the bar scene with Not, and the hospital scene) and is friends with Max again. (Also I'm not sure if I already linked @lurkingshans post with Kawi 'interupting his own growth arc midstream.' it definitely kicked my brain into gear)

In the future he is a famous singer, distant but close to Piseang, and friends with Max (why has Max stuck with him huh?) also Not and Pear and Kwan provide, in my opinion, strong evidence for their frozenness because we’ve just seen in the past that Not has feelings for Pear and Kwan has feelings for Not, and this is the exact feelings scenario we get in the future. There has been no change. They're frozen in their feelings from 12 years ago.

We also have had posts about the idea that Kawi has gotten drunk and kissed Piseang multiple times through this jump. (Which makes perfect sense if you freeze his character at this exact point of uncertain feelings that are being ignored) (@piningintrovert here) (also this post where for some reason my @ won't let me tag dropthedemiurge IM SORRY) (also here) @becomingabeing

Also his alcoholism is spiralling because he has not learnt anything about drinking responsibly in the (mere days/weeks) it’s been since episode 1 started (and alcoholism is definitely more complicated, but in this specific context you have an individual that’s just started drinking heavily because they’ve discovered alcohol and their life is super confusing and these habits aren't checked or changed because his growth is frozen, there are simply the consequences) (not saying this is the case just the case in the context of this theory)

Counterpoint

Kawi’s dad has survived surgery in the past but is still dead in the future.

I don’t necessarily think this is strong evidence against my point but it’s worth mentioning.

Question 2:

How does Kawi’s Memory Work in these Futures?

This is a separate thread but it’s related to my theory because in Timeline’s 2 & 3, Kawi appeared to have no memory of the intervening years. (Inference: He hasn't really lived them)

Timeline 4 was a little different but the memories seemed to need specific triggers (speaking aloud, seeing a person) to come back. We saw in his arguments with Pear and Piseang that he DID seem to gain and settle into his memories more as he thought about the intervening past (intervening past = the time between when he left the past and arrived in Future 4).

We see 2 different flashbacks of the ‘Pear leave’s Kawi’ moments. 1 seemed to be Kawi remembering (trigger is when he sees Pear for the first time). 2 seems to be Piseangs own memories (flashbacks are always so frustrating because who is remembering? Is Kawi remembering this too?.

Kawi also just slips into being less jaded and work focused than his (frozen) future self apparently is. (Sudden carfree metaphorical ocean romp definitely relevant here)

ALSO Kawi freaks out about his own memory in episode 7 3/4 10.30 (re Piseang’s new number) (this almost felt like young!Kawi was overlayed with old!Kawi and so we were getting conflicting reasons for the memory lapse (is he sick? did he call Piseangs old number as young!Kawi without thinking?)

Counterpoint

The scene at the very end of episode 7 threw a small but solid spanner in the works of my brain because when does this scene take place? Piseang says eight years, original jump forward was 12 (I think) so therefor this is in the intervening years. Which I kind of thought of as frozen/fairly nonexistent (Except specifically when a character thinks about them) so I am not sure how this scene fits in.

This could be something Kawi will specifically think about before going back in time

(see this post for more clowning @sparklyeyedhimbo)

(side note, his jacket looks super similar to the flashback jacket in this counterpoint scene - it's not the same one though)

How old is Kawi’s brain?

I also made a throw away post about this last week, I have no clearer thoughts on this except that it’s intriguing to ask how old the Kawi traversing between the past and the future actually is? This post is so long I’m just going to link it. It’s not very fleshed out.

Side Point

One thing that floated into my brain while thinking about all this was the recent Step By Step episode and the dissatisfaction everyone felt about the time skips. So often used as a means of progressing a characters life while rarely showing meaningful character growth.

Could this whole show be a commentary on time skips and their conceptual flaws as a means of fast-tracking character growth?

I think it’s a bit of a reach, but I also don’t tend to read into directors/creators intentions as much so I thought I’d put it out there for people to chew over.

Additional hypotheses/questions I’m chewing on:

Q: Will his dad survive if he chooses to stay in the past to take care of him?

Q: How many sets of memories does he have, does he remember any of the intervening past between main past timeline and future 2 and main past timeline and future 3? Are the memories getting overlayed?

Conclusion

As @lurkingshan pointed out, Kawi interrupts his character growth when he jumps forward in time. We have to go back in time to keep growing. Yet we’ve gone back and forward and back and forward 4 times now and the future is always messy because the characters can’t live on without change for 12 years and still grow together. I could absolutely see the show choosing to go in the direction put forth by @wen-kexing-apologist and @stuffnonsenseandotherthings here also @lurkingshan and @ginnymoonbeam have interesting thoughts about Kawi having to stop trying to change the future and live with his choices to move forward.

It's just that I think he is going to do that in the past giving up his chance to jump forward without growth. Because he has to choose not to know where he is going, to truly live in the present.

Savy?

(please point out all the holes in my theory, I am so invested I need some PERSPECTIVE)

#be my favorite #be my favorite meta #be my favorite time travel #be my favorite the sereis #rturts is wondering

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bawnjourno · 10 months

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Chicago Sparks Rambles!!!

It was so slay to meet Claire @rhythmthlef Eiffel @thedevotionaltour and Sarah @ron-do-i-get-to-sing-my-way and to ofc be with my bff Alissa @taintmansion . Everyone looked so yass and slay and our group pic got on the insta story!

Also shoutout to @churippu who was so sweet and gave us the grooviest stickers in the merch line! I can’t wait to find a place for my sparkly suit Russell.

I NEVER go crazy at merch tables and have spent months not going to the movies, buying records, or eating out, so I got… 3 t-shirts, a tote bag, socks, and the pin set 💪 I love all my swag!

ofc last year in Chicago (same venue) was a bit more subdued all around energy wise bc it was still during COVID but the crowd was great this time. I wish we’d stood earlier (seated venues are like that sometimes) but the people in the front row were up dancing like crazy the whole time and other people were dancing in the aisles!

Those first few opening songs obviously went hard but I was LIVINGGGGGG during Beaver and Ron’s piano/Stevie’s drums in Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is were fire. And Russell’s vocals in general jesus! How do u do that dude!!!

It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way has meant a lot to me personally for various reasons - mainly, I’ve felt weird and uncool my whole life and I find my passion in meaning in making art and using that art to connect with people who DO understand me - and so Russell was just introducing it and I started crying and cried the whole song 😭

Then cut to Balls when we NEEDED to get our fist pumps on!! ✊🟢

I love that they kept Shopping Mall Of Love bc people were screaming for Ronnie like it was Beatlemania. Love that bridge clapping also!

Toughest Girl In Town had one of the coolest arrangements eva god it was beautiful. And We Go Dancing went crazyyyyyyyy like I will never be that in shape in my LIFE

Eli ate that Bon Voyage solo tf up 🎸

By MTYCTD everyone was standing and dancing and the fire alarm started going off mid song but we all just ignored it 😭😭😭 tfw they are literally hotter than your mama will ever be. And the song ends and Russell just goes [slightly bitchy voice] “okayyyyyyyy. everything’s fine, carry on as you were” fjjfjfjfjfjjd

The 1 2 3 punch of Heaven My Way This Town is always godly. I made sure to scream my lungs out during the shuffle wahhhhh.

I can’t remember at what point but like 2/3 through the set maybe? In between songs Russell just starts singing 🎶My kind of town, Chicago🎶 it was really sweet

I wish they’d done the full Gee That Was Fun but the mini version served well as a final pre encore song 🥹

I had forgotten about the rainbow lights during Baby’s so thank god I was recording wahhhhhh that song goes so hard

All That was worse than IDHTBTW like I started sobbing and couldn’t stop until they left the stage 😭 They just mean so much to me!!! And Ron made a lil speech thanking us and said “I know it sounds hackneyed but at this point in the night I can’t avoid sounding hackneyed” and I mean ofc they’d say this but they said “best Chicago visit yet” which was nice

The standing ovation after All That and the pic was like 3-4 minutes long and Alissa commented on it and Claire just went “I could go all night baby!” which like so true

Russell made 🫶🫰 at the audience during this standing o and Alissa just screamed “KPOP KING !”

I stood on my chair and still didn’t get in the pic but Ron was technically on top of me so 💪😌

Random asides: got so many compliments on my Ron outfit! Sparks fans are the nicest! When our group met in the Dunkin a nice blonde woman walking outside flashed me a thumbs up from the window and then she was front row. We actually chatted after and she said she was considering going to Milwaukee last minute. Girl do it!!!! And when I got to merch and said “okay let’s start with the tote bag bc i’m gonna go a little crazy” the person in the left half of the line laughed and was encouraging lol.

Alissa and I waited outside for about half an hour and I guess the guys had been whisked away long beforehand 😅 but we said hi to Evan and Max and they were super nice!

One of the best shows I’ve ever been to. Once of the most meaningful and profound. So glad I have a favorite band. So glad I have great friends to do it all with. Gee That Was Fun (real)

Sparkle on ✨

#sparks tour 2023

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levelsevenlaserlotus · 2 years

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Holy Ground

Part 7

AN: So um this is awkward, I promise I’m not dead or anything, shit just kinda hit that fan for me. But now that I’m back I’m not going anywhere. Also shoutout to the lovely @sweetmissnothing for reviewing and revising as always.

Parings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: When your babysitter cancels last minute you have no choice but to bring you daughter with you to your college class. There, your daughter seems to catch the attention of your hot redhead professor.

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Words: 3.5k

“Mommy! Mommy! Look what Peter bought me!” Stella sings cheerfully, skipping up to you, right past Peter who unlocked the door.

It couldn’t have been more than 40 minutes between Jack’s impromptu visit and Stella’s arrival at home. If Jack had decided to stick around, you shudder at the thought.

“You’re not looking!” Stella whined, jumping up and down impatiently.

“Sorry honey, what did you want to show me?” You ask, shaking your head to clear it.

“Peter bought me an otter stuffy. ” Stella says, pulling the brown stuffed animal from under her arm to show you.

Great, as if your daughter needed another stuffed animal. Frankly it was a miracle Stella could still sleep in her bed with all those plushies piled high.

“Wow! That was really nice of him, what do we say when people do nice things for us?” You ask gently.

Stella gives you a toothy smile, turns to Peter and gives him a high pitched: “Thank you!”

Peter smiles back at her, ruffling her hair gently.

“Of course, whatcha gonna name it?”

“Ottie.” Stella says giggling happily, hugging the stuffed otter closer to her chest.

“That’s a perfect name for it.” You tell her distractedly.

Stella’s eyes sparkle under the praise before running off with Ottie, presumably to introduce him to her other stuffed friends.

“You didn’t have to.” You tell Peter who just shakes his head and shrugs.

“I know but I wanted to.” You roll your eyes.

“The last thing that girl needs is more toys, but really thank you.”

“Of course, don’t worry about it!” Peter says brightly, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Peter, I don’t mean to say this to be rude but, do you have friends?” You ask gently, you didn’t know of many teenagers who would spend their weekends hanging out with a toddler, regardless of how cute they were.

“What? What makes you say that?” Peter asks almost nervously.

“Peter, you babysit at least a couple times a week, half of the time you don’t even let me pay, that’s not exactly normal for kids your age. You should be going to parties and hanging out with friends.” You lecture him.

“I like babysitting!” Peter protests, his voice going higher than normal. “And I have friends, I have Ned!”

“Okay, okay. I get it. I just don’t want you missing out on anything because you're babysitting.” You tell the teenager gently.

“I’m not missing out on much, trust me. Drugs and sex probably.” Peter says, playing with the ends of his sleeves.

“Well I’m hopefully enough of an example of what happens when you have sex as a teenager.” You laugh.

“I don’t think you have to worry about that, no girls even look my way.” Peter says, hands in his pockets looking somewhat tense.

“Well I wouldn’t worry, you're 14 so you have plenty of time to meet and kiss girls.” You reassure him.

“Maybe.” Peter says, looking down with a slight blush on his cheeks. You think about teasing the young boy but you end up saving him from the embarrassment.

After saying goodbye to Peter you start on dinner. Your mind is so full of thoughts that you burn the chicken breasts you were making. Oh well, there’s always takeout.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’re careful to wait until you're sure Stella’s asleep before you call to unleash your rage upon your mother.

Your relationship with your mother was tremulous at best, difficult and strained. Your relationship with your father was barely better than the former.

You were raised in the traditional Christian household. You went to church every Sunday, prayed before each meal and even promised your virginity to your husband when you were 12.

It should have been no surprise to anyone the sort of person you became outside of the house. Your mother would’ve had a stroke if she knew how many times you sneaked out or sneaked people inside the house. The parties, pills and people that you sought out might have caused an early death if she had known.

When she learned of your pregnancy, she almost did die, inside at least. Her worst fear for you came true, a teen mom, an unmarried teen mom at that. The only thing worse in her mind was probably you being gay, because somehow an unexpected teen pregnancy was not much worse than your sexuality.

You never did come out to either of your parents, waiting them out just seemed like a safer option. So you stayed in the closet, kissed girls at parties and never told a soul. You always thought you’d have time to fully explore your sexuality in college.

Then you got pregnant, and suddenly college wasn’t so certain. After the rage of the storm your mother put upon you, she got oddly calm. There were options, not abortion obviously, because God says life starts at conception, but marriage. If you and Jack got married before you started to show then at least your mother could continue to put up the front that you saved yourself for marriage. It didn’t matter that you weren’t sure if you ever even wanted to get married, or how even if you did Jack was the last person you’d tie yourself to.

Jack wasn’t ever your boyfriend, just some senior in your class that had a car and daddy’s credit card. It didn’t matter that you had no romantic feelings for him, according to your mother if you liked him enough to have sex with him that was enough to marry him. That ideology led you to again question your own parents' marriage.

You weren’t exactly kicked out but when you refused to even consider marrying Jack, you left for a while. Staying at a couple of friends' houses, conveniently leaving out the part where you were pregnant.

You were almost in your second trimester before your father called you to come back home. Going as far as lying to you, insisting that your mother wanted you home as much as he did. What was closer to the truth, you’d suspected, was that your mother couldn’t continue to keep up the lie that you had never left in the first place.

You did return, your friends started asking too many questions and truthfully you missed home. Almost turned right back around when it became clear that your mother was less than enthusiastic about your return. Wanting nothing to do with you, didn’t even want you home but your father put his foot down, it was his house, his rules.

It was still a hellish experience, your mother barely acknowledged your existence and if she did it was to shame you for your choices. As for your pregnancy? It might have not ever existed, the unspoken rule was that you were to never speak of it. You would tell your mother you were going out for lunch or a walk, when everyone knew you really had an ultrasound appointment. You mother never wanted to talk about it? Fine with you.

Her anger and disappointment only grew with your pregnancy, once you hit four months and hiding your belly was getting difficult, your mother was soon ostracized from her group of church moms. All of them were apparently terrified that teen pregnancy was contagious.

This disappointment carried over, your own mother refusing to be in the delivery room, choosing instead to go on a weekend getaway to the spa due to the stress. Your father on the other hand was unable to leave work, or so he said. You gave birth alone, with no one but the doctors and nurses to witness.

You resented them at first, then you saw her, tiny and so incredibly vulnerable and you realized you didn’t want them there. Their cruelty and disappointment had no place in such a joyous moment. No place near something so innocent and perfect.

It was just the two of you, soft and cozy, untouchable by the rest of the world at that moment. You knew that your daughter would be enough for you, but would you be enough for her? You made a silent promise to yourself that you would try to be enough for your daughter.

Stella became the only family you wanted or would ever need, you knew that right when you saw those big eyes staring into yours.

You lived at home for a while, you were in no shape to return to school, and you were terrified at even the idea of leaving Stella all alone. Because that’s what she would be without you, all alone.

You missed prom and graduation, your friends went dress shopping without you and your diploma was mailed to your house.

That summer before your first year of college was the hardest, your mother absent and your father at work.

You spent most of your time in your bedroom, Stella cuddled up on your bare chest and for hours you would watch her breathe.

Things got better when you went off to college, your relationship with your parents got better with distance. Your parents met Stella a few times and it wasn’t a horrible experience. While your parents never called you, when you did call a few times a month they always answered. Communication was limited and as a result better than ever.

You never did ask either of them for anything, but every month without fail your father sent a couple thousand. Maybe it was out of guilt but that money practically paid for your apartment’s rent so you were grateful.

Things were better, you made a family in Wanda and Pietro, even Peter, who became the little brother you always wanted.

And now because of your mother, someone was trying to rip your found family apart. Jack would never be the family Stella needed, never be enough for her. Jack wasn’t her family, you were, Wanda, Pietro and Peter were.

And her family was growing, Laura and Clint were the aunt and uncle Stella never had. Cooper, Lila and little baby Natheinel were the best cousins Stella could ever have.

Stella was happy, and loved, so loved by everyone. Jack couldn’t just walk in and try to rip her away from everything she’s ever known. And you would never let that happen.

On the seventh ring your mother picks up and you don’t hesitate to curse her out.

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

“That is no way to greet your own mother.” Your mother scolds in a harsh tone. Your finger’s grip tightens around the phone, your anger bubbling up into the surface.

“Yes, well you’re hardly acting like one so.” You say coolly. You can imagine her at home, pouring a glass of wine, settled into bed when you call her. Completely indifferent and unfazed by the destruction she sent your way.

“That’s certainly an attitude you’ve got there, I would hope you don’t speak to Stella in that way”. Your mother says in a condescending voice. Yeah right, as if you were going to let your mother of all people tell you how to mother your own child.

“Keep Stella out of this, you’ve already done enough.” You say harshly, not even trying to control your tone. Too enraged to even think straight.

“I don’t know what you're talking about!” Your mother says, apparently horrified at your accusation.

“Don’t lie to me, you know exactly what you did.” The audacity of this woman, to lie to your face and play ignorant.

“I don’t like the tone you're using with me, young lady. You think just because you're an adult now that you can talk to me however you like. I think you forget that I’m your mother and am entitled to your respect.” Your mother lectures, cold and unwavering.

“You’ve never had my respect to begin with.” You bite back, maybe it was cruel, but it wasn’t untrue. You stopped, you didn’t call to fight over nothing. “I know that you gave Jack my address.” You tell her. “And don’t try to deny it, I know because he told me, right after he showed up demanding custody.”

“Jack? I’m not familiar with that name.” You mother says dismissively, as if you were telling her the weather or the time.

“Jack? Jack Birch? As in the guy who knocked your daughter up? Don’t tell me you forgot about him? That would be pretty embarrassing, especially considering the fact that you wanted me to marry him.”

“Oh him? Yes I remember him, he was a very nice man, husband material.” Your mother says, as if she’s trying to set you up with a boy from church like she used to.

“I’m sorry, are you deaf? Did you forget the part where he one, showed up at my door uninvited? With, might I add the address I gave you. And- “ You're cut off.

“If you didn’t want me giving out your address you should have just said something.”

“I should have said something? Me! Maybe you shouldn’t give out my home address to the asshole who impregnated me and ran!” You’re raising your voice now, unable to control the anger within your body.

“Honey, don’t you think you're overreacting?” Leave it to your mother to be patronizing as ever.

“I’m the one who’s overreacting? Don’t you think you're underreacting? I could lose custody of Stella because of you! And you’re telling me that I’m overreacting? God you’re so fucking full of it!” You feel like a teenager again as you argue with her.

“Don’t use God's name in vain, you’ll go to hell for that.” Is all that your mother has to say.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? That’s what your focusing on? Seriously?”

“You know, it’s very hard to have a mature, adult conversation when someone isn’t acting like an adult.” Your mother says coldly.

“Ahh yes, someone”.

“Whatever, if you want to act like a petulant child, be my guest”. Your mother says, still in that patronizing tone.

“The only one here who's acting like a child is you”. It’s amazing really, how long you and your mother could go in circles, screaming at one another.

“Which is why you're the one raising her voice”.

“Just fucking admit it for fucks sake! I know you reached out to Jack and I know you gave him my address”. Your voice is rising with every minute and you're incredibly close to waking up Stella but you can’t just hold it in.

“Is it really that bad if I did? Stella doesn't have a father- ”You cut her off

“No, she doesn’t, she has me.”

“And that will never be enough! You know it, I know it, and your father knows it”. Your mother finally screams from her end.

Your mother was a cruel woman, unkind comments weren’t a rare occasion, and yet this was the worst thing she’s ever said to you, the worst thing anyone could say to you.

Tearing through the walls of yourself and ripping at your biggest insecurity, that you would never be enough for your daughter, that the family you gave Stella would never be enough.

“Stop pretending like you care about the well-being of my daughter, stop acting like you act in anyone else’s interest other than your own. Stop interfering with my life!” If Stella hadn’t already woken up to the sound of you yelling at your mother, she definitely would be up now.

“You are such a spoiled child, do you have any idea how much I’ve given up for you?” Your mother hisses back, as if you owed her for the life she gave you.

Your anger boils over and you explode at her.

“God dammit! You are such a narcissist bitch.”

And with that you hang up the phone and throw it across the room, your entire body vibrating with anger. You wanted to punch someone, or scream or both.

“Mommy?” It’s Stella’s voice, still sleepy, that cuts through your anger. You turn and sees your Stella standing in the doorway, lit up by the hallway light, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and clutching Ottie in her hand.

“Hi, sweet pea, did I wake you up? Momma’s sorry.” You tell her almost sheepishly. You hated the person you became around your mother and tonight was no exception. You lost your temper where Stella could hear you, and you felt like the worst mother in the world for it.

“Was yelling.” Stella says, climbing her way onto your bed, and practically falling into the soft covers.

“I know and I’m sorry baby, I promise it won’t happen again.” You say, the guilt makes you feel sick to your stomach.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like saying sorry, or had an overly difficult time in admitting fault, but when it came to your daughter it came at a great pain.

The idea that there were things that you would do, mistakes that you would make that would cause her pain or distress. That your little girl would stop seeing you as her hero, as someone who could fix everything and anything. It was a painful realization at first when you came to learn that you would never be a perfect mother.

“Why?”

You look down to see those big eyes, sleepy and curious, asking why you were yelling. Something you faced so much during your childhood, you swore Stella’s wouldn’t be like that.

You sigh and try to figure out how the hell to explain why you were yelling in a way that wasn’t too big, complicated or adult to explain.

“I was on the phone with someone who hurt me a lot, she said a lot of unkind things to me and it really hurt my feelings. And what do we do when we’re hurt or in pain?”

“We hurt others.” Stella responds, looking more alert and sitting up. You brush some hair behind her ears and smile sadly.

“Not always but when we get hurt sometimes we hurt others, and it’s not right but sometimes it happens. That’s what happened to mommy today, okay?” You ask, your fingers stroking her hair in a way that always soothes her.

“Are you going to say sowy?” Stella asks. This makes you still, your fingers stopping their movements. No, you weren’t going to apologize, your mother certainly didn’t deserve one.

“Yeah, I am”. You lie, and you hate it, hate lying unnecessarily to her. The lies you told your daughter were limited to those involving Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. But these lies, these lies you hated even if it was easier.

“Okay.” Stella says sleepily, burrowing down into your covers. You sigh, normally you’d let her stay and sleep curled up with you but tonight was different. Tonight you needed to be alone, to study, to cry maybe, and hopefully figure out what the hell you were going to do about Jack.

“Do you want me to carry you to your room?” You ask, rubbing her back before patting her bottom gently.

“Can’t stay?” Stella mumbles out, still burrowed into your covers, her little fists holding the sheets, unwilling to move.

“Not tonight, tomorrow I promise”, you tell her guilt at turning down her request for comfort in favor of your own needs, isn’t that what your own mother would do. Just the thought makes your insides turn inside out in discomfort.

“Pweas?”

Stella’s voice tended to develop more of a lisp when sleepy or upset, something that was unbelievably adorable and was very good at making you give jn to any requests made.

“Tomorrow, I promise, we can have a little sleepover, okay? We can eat snacks and watch a movie, just not tonight, I’m sorry baby.” It was painful, turning her away, because you knew one day she wouldn’t want to climb into bed with you and cling to you so tight. But you needed tonight for yourself, and however you decided to cope, you wanted to be alone for that.

“Pwomise?”

“I pinky promise.” You offer her your pinky, which she curls into your extending one.

“Okay.”

“Come on love bug, time for bed.” You pull her onto your chest before scooting out of bed, holding her tight and taking a deep inhale of that strawberry shampoo.

You walk the short distance to her bedroom, and place her on the bed gently, letting her crawl under the cover, snuggling into Ottie and the rest of her stuffed friends.

“Sweet dreams honey, I love you so much.” You tuck her into bed, kiss her forehead and pull the covers up under her chin.

“Love you too”.

You stay until she falls asleep, sitting on your knees and just watching her breathe, just like you did when she was just a baby.

When her breath evens out and she coos softly in her sleep you finally stand up, ready to leave, but before you do you give her one last kiss on her forehead.

“I promise I won’t let him take you away from me.”

Taglist: @tashakink @alfiikae @lizzieolsen89 @msromanoffswife @lorsstar1st @splatalia-jumpanova @alwaysgoodnight @simp-erformarvelwomen @macaroni-with-hotsause @romanoffjohansson @alianovnam @adi06lena @t00manyfand0ms @orangelifestyle @powerfultaylor @toouncreativeforausername @heidithriel @blackwidowismylove @silver-lotus @marvelshark @ripofflizzie @hallefuckinlujah @mrswidowjohansson @emril-osvigne @natashalovers @natty-taffy @padmeswife @karmasgxrl @lilbredsticc @s1ut4nat @wizardofstories @get-the-fuck-outta-here @kathleenmikaelson @incorrectlycorrectfun @fxckmiup @wildnightuniverse @how-to-disappearr @jayxxace @maggieromanov @helloalycia @when-wolves-howl @cantthinkofagood-name @lyak12 @ho0ope-maximo0off @luna-maximoff-22 @romanoffsgal @kawaiitoga @notmeellaannyy @xxromanoffxx

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shittyelfwriter · 6 months

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ALRIGHTY here we are at weeks three and four for the santa clauses series! I did not rewatch a second time because genuinely, these melted my brain. anyway, lets get into it below the cut!

So apparently according to the tsc tag, episode 3 that I missed last week is a sort of filler episode? OH BROTHER REALLY

Normally I would not complain bc I miss old format, 20-23 episode series but because I know this Isn't That? DREAD. how are you going to plot well and good in 7-8eps if some are filler? that is just SO condensed, my guy

Counterpoint to people who were sad about it but: I thought the teen romance was annoying and I'm GLAD they ended it even JUST for a bit (it will come back to haunt again, trust. It’s a disney series ffs.) Whoever is writing this needs to ask a teen about how they talk nowadays. This is not it.

I also think we're driving the whole "Buddy is terrible at everything" punchline WAY past its breaking point. Which I would argue was last season entirely, but. At the very latest, last episode with how heavy on cringe it was. Yes, EVEN for kids/teens.

Again, they are not antagonizing Magnus Antas enough for me to hate him. waaaaay too funny to be a villain. I can't take him seriously and DON'T want to

The way that Noel keeps sideyeing the Betty cutout as if to say "do you see this shit?" during his brunch with the Clauses SENT me tbh. That's bernelle coded and I love it

I do not know why Disney gets OFF on the Clauses being absolutely inept parents but I wish they would stop

SHOUTOUT JUDY OMG JUDY'S ACTRESS THAT’S JUDY JUDY IS HERE YOU GUYS (SCREAMINGGGG)

LOVING the exterior shots of the workshop and Elfsburg. As someone who has POURED over all available screenshots from the movies of those I am LIVING for new angles (even though I do NOT think bernelle would live that close to the Workshop, but it doesn't seem like Betty and Noel can POOF like Bman and Elle can (and do))

I don't know why there are TWO instances of a "misspoken turn of phrase" in this episode but neither were funny and TWO OF THEM was REALLY bad

CHUBBY BUNNY DID NOT EXIST THAT LONG AGO. NOT IN MAGNUS ANTAS' TIME. THAT WAS AN INTERNET FAD LESS THAN TEN YEARS AGO. WHAT ARE WE DOING DUDE. WHAT ARE THESE WRITERS ON (it's not good, I don't want some)

Crossing guard callback? For what? (okay, shrug I GUESS dot meme)

Why does this specific franchise always have to make EB SO WEIRD. WHY. Nothing about this is funny it's just off-putting. Just like the previous EB flirting with Carol's MARRIED MOM in tsc3

This Carol and La Befana scene was actually very good. LOVE it when they actually just let the characters be HONEST with each other. Women supporting women core. Even if Carol's reason for being mad at her was really shallow and obviously stems form Carol's lack of identity as Mrs. Claus because they just cannot wrap that plot point from last season up.

THE LETTERS DEPARTMENT. It looks dope but HATE the explanation for it. Half assed as hell. WARNING! Rant incoming: like from what I know a LOT of postal services have little lore stories about how they get the letters to Santa. WHY COULDNT WE JUST SAY THERE ARE AGREEMENTS BETWEEN SANTA AND OTHER ADULT PEOPLE WHO KEEP THE SPIRIT ALIVE FOR OTHERS AS WELL? Why is this series so obsessed with making everything only powered by magic and never by others (yes, humans) who want to keep the spirit alive as well? It feels like magic is being used as an "explain it all away" crutch narratively. Even in season 1, the "solution" to mass consumerism wasn't for people to be kind to each other and do little things to keep the magical parts of Christmas alive, it was to show the world that magic was real. Season 2 so far, the answer to everything is also just magic. I'm hoping that maybe the B plot with Kris will touch on this. Because as it stands right now, it feels like the writers are talking out of both sides of their mouth. Commercial Christmas is bad, but Kris is a loser for having a Santa theme park. Like?? Homogenization of Christmas is the Big Bad at large, but also up at the Pole they are trying to find ways to do the same thing to be "current". CHRISTMAS IS MULTIFACTED. It is both secular and religious! That is OKAY, I don't even think "woke" people are arguing about that. Sheesh.

Can't believe I'm micro rambling IN my ramble post. New achievement unlocked omg

The way Magnus Antas picks up on modern slang so quickly practically puts Scott to shame. Good for him

AGAIN, the misturn of phrase jokes. DEAD. Not funny. STOP

If they are going to make Sandra so op that she can just Wanda Maximoff chaos magic "I just say something when I'm mad and it happens, anything I want with no negative impact on me" I will not find that swag. That is in fact Mary Sue territory, lads

Sandra's little outburst @ La Befana was giving magical nepo baby for a moment there. Oof. "Too bad I'm just naturally more skilled than you even though I'm new and you've been a witch forever" girl SHUT. UP. You are like a little baby. Also that is so mad disrespectful like no WONDER La Befana is wanting you to slow tf down. You fly off the handle WAY to easily and we ALL know you lose control when you do! Okay loose cannon! Werk!

Riley. Girl. "we never see each other" you were just up at the Pole?? Like. OFTEN?? This is so stupid of a breakup but they are teenagers so go off kids, be dysfunctional or what have you. Rah rah, as Jack would say

Episode four now, lord help us. God has cursed me for my (loving this one Christmas movie series) hubris and my work (watching it's hellish series spin off) is never finished

"Reversing a transformation is never a guarantee" what is this La Befana? the Sims? Sounds like transformation ray odds. Magic is not THAT unpredictable, even by in-universe logic

CURTIS-ITIS!??? CURTIS FUCKING EXPLODED??

ARE YOU SO FUCKING FR RN. SO BERNARD IS MARRIED TO A SENIOR CITIZEN AND CURTIS. FUCKIN VAPORIZED?? FROM STRESS? WHAT'S NEXT? Lemme guess, Judy joined the circus. Quintin is a crypto investor or works for Tesla. WHAT ARE WE D O I N G

Not Scott moving the scissors like he's afraid Buddy will shank him or others?? SIR

SANDMAN AHHHHHHHHHH HELLO SIR /POS :D

So they just con him? As though that's a long term solutio-- OH MY GOD NOT SCOTT USING SANDMAN'S SAND ON SANDMAN HIMSELF?? that's ILLEGALE?? According to tsc3 lore: "We legendaries can't use magic on each other?" I am so bewildered by the level of retcon occurring before my very eyes at BREAKNECK speed

Sandra doesn't need magic she needs THERAPY for her ANGER ISSUES bruh. Damn. She doesn't need a rage room (in someone's house too I might add? okayyyy) she needs to learn to process like a normal human being wtf

Scott being able to look like his normal self whenever he wants and they just didn't tell him? For like. 25 years? Like its clear that by the series standards, the elves think he's a total moron. But it pendulums hard and fast between "haha funny joke" and "damn they really think he ain't shit, huh"

Edie being a fashion diva is such a serve she's grown on me this season ngl

"I had to teach him how to do all the Legendaries jobs" Scott I know you're waffling, absolutely FUMBLING but what the FUCKKKKK is that excuse??? What's Cal going to do? Be EVERY Legendary? TERRIBLE AWFUL HATE IT UNINSPIRED. Not to mention, SOME OF THE OTHER LEGENDARIES MIGHT NOT TAKE THAT NEWS WELL. Some might even feel THREATENED

"The man I die for in my sleep every night" UM? Noel? You okay there bud? Holy heck

THE PURPLE JACKET IS SWAG AND SCOTT IS A HATER. HE CANNOT SEE THE VISION

Do you guys think according to this new lore Edie made Jack's suit? because me thinks PERHAPS

Magnus Antas is kind of popping off, damn. Like I think if the gnomes hadn’t given him MAJOR delusions of grandeur and an ego trip, he could have stayed totally a vibe. But stop giving the Santas snow powers and reconning Jack holy SHIT dude. First Scott now him? HATE IT

The way they made Scott and Cal look when "invisible" is Not a Good Look heck. Its like a bad picsart filter

These Scott visions. I get why, its through the Santa magic, right? But dang its corny

So Scott knows Magnus Antas is back now. Okay. They got away from him. Lost visual on Olga, have a bad feeling she somehow sneaked into the sleigh. Weird cliffhanger but EVERY episode has been like that so far

Final thoughts: I feel like they're definitely trying to make this season take itself less seriously, but I feel like the trade off is that the writers are taking too many liberties for diversions from source material and are therefore, losing the plot entirely and retconning movie lore at will and convenience. Tl;dr, it's messy. Concepts are fun until things just become so irreverent they fall apart or lean into entirely unfunny territory. Which is just a hallmark of T*m All*n brand humor, tee em, but you know.

It feels like this series is doing everything and nothing. It wants woke points, but immediately doubles back and makes fun of those same things. It wants us to feel empathy for these characters, and immediately makes them insufferable. I am so confused as to what the takeaway is supposed to be. It all feels so poorly executed--the series retcons itself constantly, not to mention the movies. I want it to be fun, and to take it at surface value, but if you know literally anything about the movies, that becomes a challenge to do. I'm just so confused dude.

I will be shocked if this gets a third season. Truly.

Also, I miss Betty too, Noel. Wish this whole season was about HER shenanigans, instead.

So. See you all next week then?

#coping is our number one skill in this household huh #don't get me wrong! thrilling to have new tsc content to talk about but at WHAT COST #ana liveblogs tscs #I am also nearing a point where I can safely say I hope they don't show more legendaries if this is how they are going to TREAT THEM #tscs spoilers #the santa clauses

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spnhunter4life · 1 year

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So Long

Summary: Jenna and Dean have known each other since she was 9 and he was 11. Their fathers often hunted together, so they grew up in next door motel rooms, keeping each other company and watching out for Sammy. They were inseparable until their dads inevitably fought and stopped working together. Shortly after Sam left for college, her father had been killed on a hunt and his dad had been more and more distant, so they started hunting together. In a world where everyone has a tattoo of their soulmate’s name that appears somewhere on them on their 16th birthday, it took them a ridiculous amount of time to figure things out.

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: I’ve always really loved the soulmate cliché, so I decided to write one of my own. As I was figuring out the basics of what I wanted to do, Niall Horan’s song So Long came on my playlist. It’s a beautiful song and I realized how well it fit the story I was trying to come up with, so this is based off of it.

A/N 2: So I just jumped back on the Supernatural bandwagon. While I was never truly off the wagon per se, it was more of a background appreciation for it while I was interested in other things. But I finally convinced myself to finish season 15 and now I'm all in again.

I remembered this fic I started like four years ago. I never posted it because it wasn't finished. It's still not, but I went back and reread what I have so far, and I'm actually super happy with it. So, that being said, I'm going to admit that I'm a super inconsistent writer. I might be super motivated to write for a few days (which I definitely am right now) and then not write again for a year. That's half the reason I never posted it. The other half is because, while I don't actually write things down often, I make stories in my head constantly and I've realized that I often go back and change details to fit the new direction I've decided to go in. And so I didn't want to post this until I was all done in case I wanted to make changes. But I decided I can edit and let people know things changed if it comes to that. I'm hoping if I can get some people to see this and get a little feedback, it will keep me motivated to write. All feedback is appreciated! Tell me what you liked. Tell me what could improve. Let me know if you find any grammar errors or inconsistencies. As long as it’s said nicely, I’m glad for absolutely any comments you might have.

My plan is to update weekly to give myself time to get the next chapters done. The second chapter is currently done/super close to done. Not sure if I want to add more to it or move it to another chapter. I’ve got a decent start on chapter 3 also. With the outline I have currently, this story is set to be 8 chapters. That could easily change though.

Also, shoutout to @jerkbitchidjitassbutt. You probably don’t even remember, but you read this chapter over for me way back when I first wrote it, so thanks for the support you gave me then!

Sorry for the super long note, and thanks for reading this far if you did!

Series Masterlist

Looking back through changes Where we started from Don’t know about you but I Knew it wasn’t wrong

Ages 16 and 17 June 25, 1996

I woke up, not exactly expecting to feel different, but maybe hoping. Today I would find out who my soulmate was. At least, I’d get a first name. Even though I knew it was stupid to get my hopes up, I couldn’t help but secretly want it to be Dean’s name. I was also nervous. Did I really want to know? If it wasn’t Dean, how would I deal with the disappointment? But if it was Dean, how could I possibly approach a subject like that? And even then, it wouldn’t mean it was Dean Winchester I was meant to be with. There were other Deans in the world. And wouldn’t he have said something by now if my name was tattooed on him somewhere?

Taking a deep breath, I looked over all of the skin currently exposed by my pajamas. Nothing on my arms or legs from the knees down. I looked at the clock and saw that it was already 9:30. I couldn’t believe I’d slept that long, that my dad had let me!

I jumped out of bed, grabbing my towel and clothes for the day, heading straight for the shower. I’d made one friend in this small Louisiana town, a very outgoing girl I’d bumped into while getting groceries with Sam and Dean. She’d been excited to meet someone new, saying all of her friends were on vacation for the summer, and she and I were supposed to meet up soon to spend the day together.

I started the shower to let the temperature adjust and then started the process of removing my clothes, checking each inch of revealed skin for a name. Nothing yet, then. Supposedly, the name showed up around the time of day you were born. I had no idea what time that was, so I would let Alyssa distract me for the day and check again tonight.

When I came out of the bathroom wearing shorts and a t-shirt with my hair in a ponytail to combat some of the summer heat, my dad was just closing the door, chocolate chip muffins, my favorite breakfast food, in his hand.

“Happy birthday,” he smiled. “How does it feel to be sixteen?” He asked this question every year, but this was the big year, and it held a little more weight behind it. “It feels… pretty much the same as every other year I guess.” I told him honestly. Other than my nerves being slightly on edge with the upcoming soulmate reveal, it felt like any other day. “What are you still doing here? I thought you and John would’ve left by now.”

“That was the original plan, but I couldn’t leave without seeing my daughter on her birthday. I wanted to have the chance to eat breakfast together. The case can wait a couple hours.” He told me, sitting down at the table.

“Where are those two shadows of yours?” He teased as I took a seat across from him and grabbed a muffin. I knew he wouldn’t ask about my tattoo. He didn’t like people prying into his life and he didn’t pry into mine. He knew I’d tell him if I wanted to.

“I have no idea,” I replied as I peeled the wrapper off my muffin. “I haven’t seen either of them, but I just got up. Thanks for letting me sleep in by the way.”

“I figured one day can’t hurt. But don’t think you can go slacking off. It’s back to morning runs and training after this.” He said before taking a bite of his own muffin. “I still don’t understand why those boys aren’t here. You three make such a big deal out of each other’s birthdays, I half expected them to break down the door.” He mused.

“Maybe they forgot. And we don’t make ‘such a big deal.’ One present and a movie night isn’t too much to ask. Besides, it’s mostly Sam. Dean always made a big deal about his birthdays growing up and so Sam learned to do the same for us.” I told him.

“Yeah but a bunch of kids scrounging up enough money to get those presents for each other is a big deal.” He said with a fond smile. Taking the last bite of his muffin, he stood and grabbed something off of the counter. “Speaking of presents,” he said as he handed it to me.

“Dad, you didn’t have to.” I told him as I grabbed it.

“I know I didn’t, but it’s not every day your baby girl turns sixteen. It’s not much, but I thought you would enjoy it.” He replied a little awkwardly.

I grinned and wrapped my arms around him, Backstreet Boys CD clutched in my hand. I had found them on accident really. It was all Alyssa’s fault. I generally enjoyed the same music as Dean, but she had showed me one of their songs and I couldn’t get it out of my head. Dad had heard me humming it one day which led to an embarrassing confession.

“Don’t tell Dean.” I pleaded, knowing the endless teasing and likely judgment I would be on the receiving end of if he found out. “Oh, I wouldn’t dare.” Dad laughed, pulling away from the hug.

“I should probably go find him though,” I said, glancing at the clock. “I’m supposed to meet Alyssa soon and he said he’d drive me.”

“Have fun!” I heard him shout as I left our motel room. I saw the Impala parked by the room next door, so I knew he was here at least. Since Dean has legally been able to drive, John gave it to Dean and the two of them take either my dad’s truck or the one John had purchased after gifting Dean the Impala. As I raised my hand to knock, the door flew open.

“Oh!” John said, startled. “I was just going to tell your dad we need to get going. I’m glad you’re up.” Then he was in the motel room I’d just abandoned, not waiting for my response.

“Hi to you to.” I mumbled under my breath. I walked through the door John had left open to see Dean sprawled out on the couch. He turned to me when I closed the door and grinned.

“Hey, there’s the birthday girl!” He exclaimed, prompting Sam to run out of the bathroom, dressed and looking fresh from the shower, toothbrush in his mouth.

“Jenna! You’re here! I wanted to go to your room a while ago, but Dean told me to let you sleep. Were you sleeping?” Before I could answer him, he rushed on. “He told me you’re going to spend the day with your friend, but we’re still going to have our movie night, right? We have to have our movie night. It’s our tradition!”

“Breathe, Sam.” I chuckled. “Of course we’re having movie night. It wouldn’t be a birthday without it. Now how about you go finish brushing your teeth before you start drooling on the floor.” Content with my answer, he hurried back to the bathroom, hand cupped under his chin where toothpaste bubbles were trying to drip down.

“So,” Dean drawled, getting up off the couch. “The big 16. How’s it feel?” He walked over to stand next to me and, not for the first time, I was struck with how effortlessly gorgeous he was. His hair was tousled and still slightly damp from the shower he must have taken this morning. He wore his usual jeans, t-shirt, flannel, and boots, the amulet Sam had given him hanging around his neck, but somehow, he was the most attractive guy I had ever seen. I knew it wasn’t a biased opinion, every girl in every school always drooled after him.

“I assume it feels the same as you felt a year ago.” I replied once my brain started functioning again. “You still good to take me to meet Alyssa?” I asked.

“Sweetheart, have I ever bailed on you?” He asked, mock offended.

“Well…” I trailed off, remembering the handful of times Sam and I had been left to fend for ourselves while he was off with a girl. When I saw him looking at me expectantly, I sighed. “Not when it really counted, no.” I relented.

“Did you ask her yet?” Sam questioned, reappearing from the bathroom and heading for Dean. Dean sighed and looked at me. “Is it ok with you if Sam comes with to drop you off? I don’t know why he’s even asking. I know you don’t care, but he wouldn’t leave me alone about it this morning.”

“That’s not true!” Sam denied. “He told me I could come if you said yes, and I know you usually don’t care, but since you’re 16 today I thought you might want to talk.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Talk about what?” I asked, brow wrinkled in confusion. There’s not much Dean and I didn’t talk about in front of the kid. I don’t know why he thought there was suddenly a need for privacy or what being 16 had to do with it. “About-” he started, but then cut himself off, looking anxious. “I don’t know.” He continued, head down and shuffling his feet. “Just… being 16?”

I looked to Dean, hoping for some kind of explanation, but he just shrugged his shoulders, although he seemed a little annoyed, like he knew more than he was letting on. I wasn’t in the mood to press the issue though.

“Ok…. Well I don’t have any super-secret conversations that need to be had with your brother, so if you want to come along, that’s fine.” I assured Sam.

“Good! When are we leaving?” He asked excitedly.

“If Dean’s ready, then right now would be good.” I replied, looking to Dean. He answered by shrugging on his leather jacket, plucking the keys off the table and holding the door open for me.

With everyone piled in the car, Dean started toward the mall where I was supposed to meet Alyssa. It was a typical car ride, Sam chattering away in the back, and Dean humming along to Led Zeppelin. I told Dean where to park. Alyssa wasn’t there yet, but I was content to sit and wait with the boys.

“I thought we might have to wait until tonight to give this to you, but I’m glad we don’t have to.” Sam said excitedly, pulling a box out of his jacket pocket. “It was my idea to get this kind of present for you, but Dean helped me pick it out.” He looked to his brother with a proud smile before handing the box to me.

I was a little nervous to open it. Sam was so excited, I didn’t want to disappoint him if I didn’t like it. Although he’d never say anything, I could tell Dean was a little nervous too by the way he tensed his shoulders and bit his lip. I carefully opened the box and gasped.

Inside was a bracelet made from ribbons of silk. It was twisted around so that it looked like four different strands. The top and bottom of each ribbon was an olive green while the middle was mulberry. One of the ribbons wrapped through a gold button that was used to adjust the size. I couldn’t believe something so beautiful was for me.

“I love it!” I told them as I took it out of the box to place on my left wrist. I noticed Dean’s quiet, relieved exhale and turned to hug him. “Thank you.” I whispered. He wrapped his arms around me before mumbling a quiet “You’re welcome,” into my hair.

“And thank you too!” I said, pulling away from Dean to face a fidgety, giddy looking Sam in the back. He flung his upper body over the seat to get a hug of his own. “You’re gonna have a pretty hard time topping this one.” I informed him as I sat back. Sam just grinned.

“My friend at the last school had a bracelet that she wore all the time and I asked her if that was a good idea for a 16th birthday present for you,” he explained. “She said if you like jewelry it was a good idea, and I know you like Dean's amulet, so I told him about my idea and he said we’d keep an eye out for anything you might like. There was a lot of stuff I thought you would like, but Dean kept saying they weren’t right.” I glanced at Dean and saw a slight blush gracing his freckled cheeks.

“He liked that one as soon as he saw it. I didn’t know why you’d like it any better than any of the ones I pointed out, but I know you guys know each other really well so I just told him to make sure you knew getting a bracelet was my idea.” He finished, slightly out of breath.

Before I could say anything to assure Sam I appreciated his efforts and relieve Dean of his embarrassment, there was a knock on my window. Startled, I jumped a little before facing the window where Alyssa stood waiting. Turning to look at the boys, I thanked them again for the amazing present and then opened the door to get out of the car and say hi to her. As I was closing the door, I heard Dean say my name.

“Just a second.” I said to Alyssa before opening the door again and sticking my head in. “What’s up?” I asked.

“I was just wondering when and where I should be picking you up.” He replied. “Oh, right. I didn’t even think about that.” I said, turning to Alyssa to figure out the details. “Cleary.” He teased. I looked back at him, sarcastic comment at the ready, but I saw the twinkle in his eye and knew he was just joking. I shushed him and closed the door, turning to once again face Alyssa.

“I can drive you back, it’s no problem.” She assured me.

“Are you sure? Dean doesn’t have anything else he needs to be doing, and I know he likes to do it anyway. He’s a bit protective like that. The first time he dropped Sam off at a friend’s I thought he was going to sit outside the house the whole time.” I told her, smiling at the memory.

“It’s really no problem. I don’t have any definite plans for the day so I wouldn’t know what to tell him anyway.” She said.

“Ok…” I trailed off, giving her one last chance to change her mind. She gave me a look, clearly stating that she wouldn’t so I passed the information on to Dean.

“You don’t even have a guess about when you’ll be done?” He asked. I knew he liked to have a timeline so if someone wasn’t back when they were expected he would know something was wrong. If he didn’t have any schedule to follow, he’d spend the whole time worrying, unsure if something had happened or we just weren’t done yet.

“Well I have to be back in time for movie night,” I reminded him with a wink in Sam’s direction, “so I won’t be gone any later than… say 8:30? That should give us time to watch a couple of movies before Sam passes out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Dean relented, slightly less on edge now that he had a set time. “Have fun.” He smiled. I closed the door and watched them drive off.

“Are you ready to do some shopping?” Alyssa asked with a grin.

~~~~~

“You have to have a swimsuit!” Alyssa insisted as we walked by racks of them at Kohl’s. “Not if you never go swimming, you don’t.” I countered.

“But what if you do go swimming? What are you going to wear then?” She argued. “I don’t know. I’m sure if the opportunity came up, I’d just go buy one.” I told her. “Then why not buy one now?” She asked.

“Because,” I sighed. “We move around a lot. We’re not exactly hitting up five-star hotels with pools or renting homes that have one. I think the last time I went swimming was when I was 12 and the house we were renting had a pond.”

“Ok, well I have a pool, it’s the middle of summer in Louisiana, and I might invite you over to swim sometime. Besides, I’m buying so you can’t really argue that much.” She said, flipping her strawberry blonde hair as she turned and pulled me towards the swimwear.

“That’s a nice bracelet,” she commented, looking at my wrist where I was half-heartedly searching through a rack of one-piece swimsuits. “Yeah,” I smiled. “Sam and Dean gave it to me for my birthday.”

“It’s pretty. I didn’t think boys were any good at finding decent jewelry.” She remarked as she moved on to the next rack. She didn’t like the one-pieces anyway and had only been humoring me, ironic since I was only humoring her about the swimsuits in general.

“I swear Dean has some sort of sixth sense for what people will like. Well,” I corrected, “not people. But me and Sam.”

“This one! You have to try this one!” Alyssa said excitedly, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked to where she was holding a white and blue two-piece. “I know you didn’t want a two-piece, but this isn’t a bikini. It doesn’t show much more than a one-piece would.” Seeing my hesitation, she continued. “Just try it on. If you hate it, we’ll put it back.”

“Yes!” She cheered, seeing my resignation. She handed the suit to me and led the way to the changing rooms.

It was definitely a nice-looking suit, I’d give her that much. The top piece was thick enough all the way through that there was no danger of anything showing. It had a clasp in the back and three strings to tie around my neck, two white and one robin’s egg blue. The bottom piece started like a normal bikini bottom, but thicker. Above the hips it cut in to cover only the front of my torso, leaving my back and sides exposed, and went up to the bottom of my ribs. There were three strings encircling my back, keeping the material up. It was decorated with flowers in shades of blue, and as much as I liked it – although I’d never admit it to Alyssa – I didn’t think I would be comfortable wearing it in public.

“Are you ready yet?” I heard her ask through the door.

“Kind of. I have it on, but I don’t know if I want to come out.” I admitted.

“Come on, you can’t look that bad.” She encouraged.

“It’s not that.” I told her. “I’m just not comfortable showing this much skin. I live in jeans, you know. The only reason I’m wearing shorts is because I might actually die from this heat.”

“Just come out. No one’s going to see you. I promise there’s no one else around.” She encouraged.

I sighed before opening the door and peering my head around. I was met with an unimpressed look. “Alright, I’m coming.” I relented. I stepped out of the changing stall and was greeted with a wolf whistle from Alyssa. “Cut it out!” I blushed.

“Why? You look great!” she exclaimed. “As much as I like that bracelet, it really doesn’t match the-” she cut off.

“What?” I asked nervously?

“Umm… did you find your tattoo yet?”

I was a little shocked. It was an awfully personal question to be asking someone you’d only known for a couple of weeks. “No. Why?” I asked a little defensively. She nodded toward my left side where my hand was hanging by my hip. I impulsively lifted it to my face, scanning for the name.

“Not your hand,” she said.

I slowly looked down to my left side just above my hip where, just as she said, I could see the top of thick black letters peeking over the swimsuit.

~~~~~

“Alright, right’s wrong?” Dean asked, pausing the movie. We were halfway through our second movie of the night, Mission Impossible, and while I was enjoying it, I couldn’t seem to sit still. I was sat between the two boys, Dean’s arm resting on the back of the couch behind my head, our usual seating situation on movie nights. Sam was slouched over, starting to drift off. He could never seem to stay awake for more than one movie.

“What? Nothing’s wrong. Why do you think something’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Well, you haven’t sat still for more than five minutes at a time and I can see the wheels spinning in your head. You know you can talk to me about anything right?” He sounded genuinely concerned.

“I know.” I sighed.

“Nothing happened, right? You’ve seemed a little off since you got back.” He pushed, not for the information he knew I wasn’t ready to give, but for assurance that I was alright.

“I’m fine,” I told him honestly. “It’s just… I found my tattoo while we were trying on clothes. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, figure out how I feel.” I confessed.

“Oh.” Was his only response. I could tell he wanted to press for more information, but he stayed quiet.

~~~~~

“I can’t look at it. I don’t want to know what it says. What do I do?” I asked. My breath was coming faster and I was starting to panic.

“Hey. Hey! Jenna! Look at me. Deep breath.” Alyssa calmly instructed, demonstrating and breathing with me until my breathing was back to normal. “You’re going to have to see it sometime. It’s unavoidable. Right now, it doesn’t change anything. It just gives you a name. You can do whatever you want with that name once you have it. It doesn’t decide anything for you.”

I knew she was right and steeled myself to look at it, Alyssa waiting patiently. Carefully, I pushed the swimsuit strap down just enough to reveal the name underneath.

DEAN

Ages 14 and 16 January 24, 1995

Dean’s POV

I stared at the ceiling, willing myself to find the energy to get out of bed. I heard Sam moving around, getting ready for school, but I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. I knew that by the end of the day I would have letters inked into my skin. Letters that spelled out my soulmate’s name. I had no illusions about my family’s lifestyle and what it would mean for my soulmate. It would be a bittersweet moment, finally learning her name, but knowing I could never allow myself to be with her, to put her in that kind of danger.

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I rubbed my eyes before standing up and starting to get ready for the day. I had decided I wasn’t going to look for the tattoo. I would put it off for as long as I could and see it whenever I happened to stumble upon the patch of skin it showed up on.

~~~~~

It had been a pretty good morning. My anxiety had faded to the background when a smiling Jenna came into our room with bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast. It wasn’t elaborate by any means, but it was more than we usually had and the fact that she took the time to make it for us, for me, made it that much more special.

The two of them had given me the gift they picked out right away this morning when an excited Sam decided he couldn’t wait until after school. He halfway disappeared under the bed for a few seconds, wiggling his way back out with a box clutched in his hands. He proudly handed it to me and then watched in eager anticipation as I opened two new movies, Jumanji and Batman Forever.

“Now we have something to watch for movie night too!” He exclaimed. I thanked them both and then we headed to school, Jenna’s dad dropping us off.

Now I was sitting in the locker room, changing back into my regular clothes after gym class. I had opted out of a shower, not wanting to find my tattoo in this miserable place, surrounded by strangers I would have to guard my reaction around. I had my foot up on the bench I was sitting on, switching out my sweaty socks for a dry pair, lost in my thoughts when I heard someone to my left snicker and say, “Isn’t Jenna your sister?”

My head whipped around to look at Matt, the guy who had spoken. He was a sophomore like me, and while he wasn’t wildly popular, he sure thought he was something special. “What?” I snapped, confused about why he was asking about her. My protective instincts flared up. We had only been at this school for a week, but I was well aware how attractive Jenna was, and if this kid thought he was going to try something he had another thing coming. “Why?” I asked, failing to keep the suspicion out of my voice.

“Didn’t the two of you show up around the same time? And I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the two of you coming to school in the same car,” he mused. “So you must be her brother. That’s gotta be pretty awkward. Unless you know another Jenna?”

“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” I snapped.

“Dude, don’t they have different last names?” Chimed in a freshman whose name I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful for or irritated by his input. “So unless they have different dads or something… I don’t think they’re related.” Irritated, I decided. He hadn’t said anything offensive, and his analysis wasn’t wrong, but I found I didn’t like the way he was obviously looking for Matt’s approval.

“Really? How do you know that?” Matt asked. Without waiting for a reply, he continued.

“Well that’s a relief. It would be pretty weird if your sister was your soulmate.” He laughed. “Too bad though,” he continued, having gained the attention of most of the locker room. “She’s not half bad looking. I might ask her out anyway, see what she really thinks about her pathetic, loser soulmate.”

I clenched my jaw. Having lived in tight quarters for years, Jenna and Sam had learned to back off at this, that it meant I was seriously pissed off. Matt had the misfortune of not knowing me so well. “Leave her alone.” I warned. I had managed to keep my temper so far, but if he actually made a move on her, all bets were off.

“Don’t worry,” Matt drawled on. “I’ll test her out for you. Let you know if she’s actually worth your ti-”

Before he even realized I was moving I had crossed the couple of steps to him, grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and shoved him back into the lockers. “I don’t know what you’re even talking about,” I seethed, “but you better stay away from her or I’ll make sure that my pathetic loser face is the last thing you see before I put you in the hospital.”

I turned away from him and, after taking a step, ducked, effectively dodging the punch I had seen him getting ready to throw. I spun back around and landed a solid punch to his face before grabbing my shoes and walking out the door. It wasn’t until I was sitting in the bleachers lacing up my boots that I saw it. Inked into the skin of my left ankle was her name.

JENNA

Chapter 2

#supernatural #spn #fanfic #soulmates #dean winchester #sam winchester #ofc #john winchester #dean winchester x ofc #dean winchester x soulmate!ofc #supernatural fanfiction #soulmate!au #so long

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slanax · 10 months

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so the podcast playlist ran out at work earlier today and left me with just music and my thoughts while I continued packaging products on autopilot. Now over the last month or so I've done a lot in my day to day life to stop stagnating and settling for 'good enough' as far as like household and stuff is concerned, I finally upgraded my phone and phone plan after like five and ten years respectively, I bought new clothes that actually fit me instead of the holdovers from back in the day that I was still wearing, my kitchen now has an actual workspace bc I've rearranged my furniture and added some more - shoutouts to my mom who wanted the doors off of my ikea cupboards so she'd have a matching set for the ones I left at home (the kind I had wasn't in store anymore) bc her offering to drive me to Ikea to get replacements triggered a bit of a binge in rearranging my whole apartment and let me transport the new stuff home too. Visiting my brother made me cook more and eat healthier bc he showed me the burgers he's cooking up when he needs something fast but like, with standards.

anyways. rambling. point is that the whole thing got me thinking about other things in my life that I'm kinda 'eh good enough' on, and the big one there is my identity and my body. Me being cis is, at least at this point, a conscious choice born from indifference, the factory settings work well enough and it'd be effort to even start looking into what I'd have to do to change them. But at the same time, it doesn't feel super cis for my position to be "yeah I'd prolly trans my gender if given the chance but that sounds like I'd have to file shit and call people and bureaucracy would be involved. But I would. But the effort." like I'm remembering Ranma 1/2 from my childhood and think that'd be neat to be able to do, just switch genders at the drop of a literal bucket, I feel that's not a very cis thought.

so then about two weeks ago my workplace gave us access to some health benefits, because they're feeling bad about keeping the warehouse people a bit out of the loop and removed from the office people, and also they're having trouble finding new people and really don't want any of us to quit, or something along those lines. Point is I have better health insurance now, based on a calender year budget, so I basically have an above average budget for the second half of this year now and I wanna make use of that, because it's a use-it-or-lose-it kinda deal. Now I don't know if I can use that for any gender affirming stuff, but I might.

The problem that remains is that I still couldn't care less for going through the whole rigamaroll of a social transition, but like. staying on-paper cis and continuing to use my given name to avoid all those complications, legally still being the same person and just looking different (might need a new ID if I go that far lol) doing whatever the fuck I want with my body in the meantime without it ever affecting my legal identity because it's not a deadname if I'm still just using it, it doesn't actually give me dysphoria, and they can't force me to change my name just because I have boobs, might be what I want? And then maybe I can consider a legal gender and/or name change from there?

idk on one hand it sounds like something I'd want to do but on the other hand I also feel it's not like, committed enough? like both on a practical level where I need a doctor to help me transition physically while still using the same (male) name, and on an ideological level where it feels like appropriation in a way to just want the body and the appearance but skipping over the whole paperwork thing because I can't be arsed while for a lot of people changing name and officially recognized identity is a just as if not more important aspect of transitioning.

genuinely can't tell on my own if that standpoint is a valid one, if I'm right to be hesitant for that reason or if that's an exclusionist brainworm take, would appreciate feedback and second opinions on that part especially

either way I am going to look into using my newfound health benefits for getting my facial hair lasered first and foremost because even if I stay physically 100% male that shit is annoying, I don't care for how it looks on me, I feel messy when it's there and can't be assed to shave it regularily. Avoiding effort is a key part of my identity either way whether I'm Cis+ or Legally Cis For Tax Reasons

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nomadstucky · 2 years

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Her Savior Pairing: Ari Levinson x Fem!Reader Rating: Angsty/Fluffy

WC: ~2.3K taglist link / request link / ask link Put yourself on my taglist/request a fic/use my ask box :D Contents & Warnings: Ari is 6’4”, abusive relationship (NOT Ari/Reader), misogyny (if you squint), Please let me know if there’s anything else I missed

I have an AO3 account now!! Under the same name.

AO3 Link

As always: massive shoutout to @maysdigitalarts for the banners!! And absolutely the biggest shoutout to @universitypenguin it feels almost wrong to say that Alice is my beta reader!! Not only that but they continue to motivate, encourage and inspire me. And I don’t know where my writing would be without them!

MINORS DNI - You will be blocked!! Blank Blogs will also be blocked!!

Remember feedback is always appreciated, likes are always appreciated but reblogs are golden!! I tried something new with this fic, and I must say I quite like it!! This is going to have at least part 2. I’m not sure if this will develop into a series/mini series, let me know if you guys would like that, because I definitely could spice it up!

TagList: (if your name is crossed out, I can’t tag you.)

If you’d like to add yourself to my tag list, you can send me an ask OR you can follow the TagList link above!!

@lordkayl

Ari feels his entire being tense up once he catches a sweet, almost floral scent he’s never smelt before. The scent was positively intoxicating. Sitting at the bar in The Lazy Jewel, he tries his hardest to ignore it. “You’re in my spot.” He heard before setting his half drank whiskey down, and turns to the sound of the voice. Standing slightly off to the side of the bar, was a man. A scrawny one at that, he looks like he’s trying to intimidate, but he looks like a little kid. Beside him, was you. Ari finally understands where the sweet scent came from. You don’t look like you belong in a place like this. Too pure, too innocent, Ari decides. Far too innocent to be surrounded by hardened criminals, and people that could easily break your pretty little neck.

“And you are?” Ari drawls, standing to his full height, standing directly in front of the stool. The unknown man spits out an ‘Elijah’.

Elijah starts sizing Ari up. Ari stifles a laugh as his eyes flit from Elijah to you, then back to Elijah.

“Funny, I’ve never seen you around here.” Ari cocks his head to the side, daring Elijah to do something.

“You must not be that great at paying attention then.” Elijah crosses his arms across his chest. “Are you gonna move out of my way? Or are you going to continue to be a pain in my ass?” He taunted.

Ari smirked, “I must not be. My apologies.” Ari sat back down on the stool. If this was a cartoon, you would’ve sworn steam would’ve come from Elijah’s ears.

“Babe, maybe we could just sit somewhere else.” You suggested.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” Elijah screamed, drawing even more attention, as he turned on you, hand raised. You gasped, and turned your head, screwing your eyes shut, waiting for the feel of his hand on your cheek.

When you didn’t feel it, you slowly opened your eyes and glanced back at Elijah. Ari was up, out of his seat, his hand held Elijah’s forearm effectively stopping his hit. Your eyes welled up with tears. With everything that you and Elijah had been through, he had never once hit you, didn’t ever come close to it. Ari glanced at you, feeling the anger rise. If it was one thing he hated, it was scumbags who beat women.

“I suggest you take yourself and walk out of this bar. While you still have the chance.” Ari growled, leaning closer to Elijah.

“Baby.. Babe, c’mon. You know I didn’t mean it. Princess, please.” Elijah called to you, his other hand reaching for you. You flinched back, away from him, pressing your body closer to the bar.

Ari grabbed Elijah’s face, forcing the man to look at him. “I believe I told you to leave.”

“Fuck you. You’ll have to force me away from her.” Elijah spoke, but his voice came out muffled.

Ari chuckled darkly. “Works for me.” He let go of Elijah’s face and arm.

“Finally.” Elijah spat out, and took a step towards you.

Ari smirked, and grabbed the back of Elijah’s neck, and forced his head down, before dragging him out.

You could feel eyes on you. You always hated the feeling. A young woman, maybe in her late 20s early 30s came up to you.

“Hey there, sweetie,” She spoke as if afraid she’d scare you even more, “My name’s Alisha. Let’s get you somewhere else, yeah?”

You carefully nodded and offered your name, allowing her to lead you into what seemed to be an office.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Alisha asked, eyes full of concern.

You shook your head, letting out a small breath. “W-What’s.. Uhm.. Is he..” You stuttered out, shaking your head once again after not being able to get the words out.

“It’s okay. Take your time.” Alisha smiled sadly.

You took a big breath. “W-What’s going to happen? W-With Elijah I mean.” You mumbled, lifting your head to look at her.

Alisha’s eyes widened, “I can’t tell you exactly. What I can tell you is that Ari Levinson doesn’t tolerate men beating up on women.”

Your mind immediately went to the one and only fight you had witnessed that Elijah got into. It was the last time you had talked to your family. Your brother had pulled you aside to tell you how controlling he thought Elijah was. You, of course, denied it. You loved Elijah, and Elijah loved you. There was no doubt in your mind about it. It resulted in a screaming match between you and your brother, in which Elijah had gotten in between the two of you. In turn causing the men to start screaming, gathering the attention of everyone at the party. It wasn’t until Elijah started beating up on Jake, that you realized the severity of it.

Snapping back to reality, you look up at Alisha. “Uhm, you don’t happen to know where they’d be, do you?” It’s hard to know how to articulate the fear you felt. You weren’t sure if it were for Elijah, or Ari, or yourself.

“Probably the alley, why?” Alisha questioned.

“Thank you!” You called, before opening the door and running off to the front door.

Sprinting out into the night, you stopped to look around, before carefully making your way over to the alley.

Grunts, and groans all you could hear upon stepping closer, fear settling in your veins. In the very dim light, you could see Ari had the upper hand. Though he had taken his fair share of hits. “Someone should teach you how to not meddle in relationships.” Elijah muttered out, turning and spitting some blood out.

Ari smirked, “someone should teach you how to treat women.”

“You fucking…” Elijah growled as he lunged at Ari once again.

Ari managed to dodge the hit, before you ran in between the two. You truly had no clue if you’d get hit from either party, but you had to break them apart somehow. The two both stopped.

“Baby. Oh thank God.” Elijah set his hand on your back. You jumped forward slightly. Elijah groaned, “You can’t be serious. You need to relax.”

Something in you snapped. “I can’t be serious?” You questioned, “I can’t be serious? You almost hit me, you had every intention of hitting me. You have never hit me! But you would’ve tonight. And I came out here to make sure YOU weren’t getting your ass handed to you. To make sure YOU were okay! And you act as if it’s my fault you’re out here? As if somehow I caused this whole fight?!”

You had enough! Enough of Elijah constantly acting like he was high and mighty. Like you were the problem. Elijah rolled his eyes, “You’re so dramatic! Do you always have to act like this? I wasn’t going to hit you, stop pretending just because he’s here.”

You raised your eyebrows, “I’m dramatic? I may not be the smartest, but you were going to hit me! Had Ari not stopped you, you would have! I’m not dramatic! You’ve been training me to be your little pet! I’m not your girlfriend. I’m your pet.” You took a deep breath, finally realizing the gravity of the situation you were in.

“I love you, baby. You know that. Stop this act. It’s getting old.” Elijah’s voice fell on deaf ears.

“He was right.. All those years ago, Jake was right…” You muttered, suddenly feeling like your lungs couldn’t get enough air. “You were controlling me. You have control of the finances, you have control of who I talk to.. You.. I… I can’t do this anymore.. You.. You need to leave me alone. I-I’m done.” Tears welling in your eyes, but you didn’t care. Your chest heaving, as you stepped back, away from Elijah, away from Ari.

“Baby.. just relax, let’s go home, we can talk this through.” Elijah started walking towards you. “DON’T,” You screamed, nearly tripping over your own feet. You took off running back into the bar, you didn’t know where to go.

You didn’t have anyone left. You just continued running, going back into that office at the back of the bar. Turning and shutting the door, you closed your eyes leaning against it. You allowed the tears to fall freely, slowly sliding down the door so you were sitting on the ground, the gravity of the situation truly setting in.

You were almost hit by your now ex-boyfriend, got into probably the biggest fight the two of you had, and broke up with him all in the same night. You didn’t ever allow yourself to believe that he was abusive, didn’t ever see it before. You had always heard people say that he was controlling you, that he was abusive. Hell your own family would say it, and you never believed it. Until now. You allowed yourself to think of every fight you got into, everything that he controlled in your life. How could you allow this to happen?

Your silent cries had turned into full-on sobs by now. You felt a hand on your shoulder, and jolted to the side. “Shhhh… it’s okay.. It’s just me.” Alisha said, “do you want to talk about it?” she questioned.

You shook your head quickly, but found yourself accepting the attempt to comfort you.

“Okay. We don’t have to. Can I get you anything?” Alisha slowly rubbed your shoulder.

“Uhm, water.. Please, just like a glass of water.” You sniffled. Alisha nodded, and you moved away from the door to allow her to slip through.

You settled back against the wall, bringing your knees up to your chest as your mind cycled back to Elijah. He had you move to New York for him, so he could get you away from your family, only ever visiting them with his permission, and with him in toe. You didn’t have any friends, aside from his, which then somehow in Elijah’s mind, spiraled into you sleeping with all of them. You loved Elijah, and genuinely thought that he loved you too. And maybe in a sick way, he did. Elijah’s upbring wasn’t a happy upbringing. His father was an angry drunk who enjoyed beating up on him and his mother. Elijah told you therapy was a big help, as was his mother finally leaving the man.

There was a soft knock against the door, before Alisha popped back in and handed you the water. “Thank you.” You whispered.

Alisha smiled sadly, “Ari’s outside, he just wants to make sure you’re alright. Do you want me to let him in? Or?” She questioned, kneeling in front of you.

“I guess so.. Just please don’t leave me alone with him.” You sniffled, wiping at your eyes, trying to pull yourself together.

“Ari wouldn’t hurt you. But if you prefer for me to be here, I’ll stay.” Alisha reasoned. She sounded so sure about Ari.

You wrapped your arms around your knees, as Alisha opened the door, allowing Ari in. He had cleaned himself up. He left a large portion of the room between you, moving to the desk, leaning against it. You knew it was to put space between you, you knew it was for your benefit. It did comfort you, if only a little bit.

“Are you okay?” Ari spoke, his voice low, not wanting to scare you more.

You nodded, “as okay as I can be I guess… I’m sorry you had to be involved.” You mumbled, lifting your head to look at him.

Ari had a small smile on his face, “I forced my way into that. I could’ve let him have the seat, it probably would’ve saved the conflict.”

You nodded, and then shrugged, “But if you hadn’t, I’d still be with him.” Tears once again found their way onto your face.

“That took a lot of guts, sweetheart.” Ari noted.

You mumbled your name. Ari repeated it, followed by an apology.

You shook your head, “Please don’t apologize.. I just.. I’ve never been a fan of pet names..”

Ari nodded, “Can we take you home?” You shook your head, “the only home I’ve known here was the one I shared with Elijah.. There’s nowhere else for me to go.”

Ari sighed, running a hand through his hair. “A friend’s house? Anywhere you’ll be safe?”

You let out a watery laugh, “I don’t have any of those. I moved here to be with him, he isolated me from everyone, except his friends at first, and then I wasn’t allowed to see them either. I was completely alone with him.”

“Fuck.” Ari paced. “It’s fine really. I’m sure I can figure something out.” You tried to calm him.

“A hotel? Or maybe a shelter?” Ari suggested.

You shook your head, “Why do you care?” You whispered, “I mean, realistically, I’m just some girl you met through an abusive man.”

Ari stopped pacing, and looked at you, “I know this seems sketchy, and I’m sorry. If it makes you more comfortable, Alisha can take you somewhere. Like I said earlier, I caused the fight. I want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Maybe.. But you didn’t force him to hit me.” You could tell he was coming from a place of understanding, and you want to offer the same.

“I’ll let you two figure it out.. Again, I’m sorry, and I hope you’re okay.” Ari murmured, walking back out into the bar.

Alisha looked at the door then back at you, “So, how about that hotel?”

You nodded, glancing at Alisha as she pulled out her phone.

You couldn’t help but allow your eyes to trail back to the door, before focusing back on Alisha.

#Ari Levinson #Ari Levinson x Fem Reader #Ari Levinson x Female Reader #Kels Writes #Reader Insert #Ari Levinson Fic #Ari Levinson Angst #Ari Levinson Fluff #Chris Evans #Chris Evans Fic

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jimothystu · 1 year

Text

Top Ten Fic Game! share your top [10*] fics by Kudos! drop the links so people can read them! bonus: do you agree or disagree with the readers on these being in your top 10? tag some homies who might want to do it too!

thank you @milf-arteta!!

10 better than in my dreams [cole caufield/nick suzuki]

agree/disagree?

this is one of my personal favourites, so i'd say i agree that it's one of my better ones. though i feel like more of my recent ones are better in general re the writing style, the plot, etc.

9 later [juraj slafkovsky/arber xhekaj]

agree/disagree?

oh yes. this was my first xhekovsky fic and i fucking love it lmao. it was so much fun to write and also @donttelltheelff helped me with it so that made it extra fun. idk i also just enjoyed the like, not quite edging but the teasing of them almost getting time to be alone together but things keep coming up. but they do, eventually, get their alone time in the second chapter lmao.

8 you're my instinct [auston matthews/mitch marner]

agree/disagree?

meh. this was one of my first hockey rpfs i think, and maybe the first one i wrote for 1634 so i don't feel like it's my best work.

7 they're not glass slippers but they're close enough [tim stutzle/brady tkachuk]

agree/disagree?

i love me some crack mixed with more serious stuff, and this has pretty much everything - crack/fun, smut, and fluff. i also just find the idea (shoutout to @may-the-puck-be-with-you) to be hilarious - timmy seducing brady with crocs lmfao.

6 the bitterness upon your lips [juraj slafkovsky/arber xhekaj]

agree/disagree?

i am a sucker for angst. writing and reading, and i also like how i was able to have various hab players in it, not just slaf and arber. and it was fun to play with the jordy/arber roommate thing a bit!!

5 paper thin walls [auston matthews/mitch marner]

agree/disagree? neutral

i liked the idea i had for it (4 times auston heard mitch through the walls + 1 time he joined him) and it was fun to write for the most part, but idk reading it now i'm not super proud of the way it was written ig, or i feel like i should've added more maybe

4 the secret truth off your numb lips [tim stutzle/brady tkachuk] ignore the title similarity to number 6 i named it without remembering and then just couldn't think of anything better

agree/disagree? neutral

this originally went down a different path and was going to be pretty angsty, but i changed the second half of it and while i do like how it turned out and i liked writing it etc etc part of me still wishes i had finished the angst part. but i did save the angst i'd written so i'll probably write a different fic around it

3 don't break the dam or you might drown in the current [tim stutzle/brady tkachuk]

agree/disagree

this fic. this 12k fic. this is one of my favourite fics i've written. it was very self indulgent and i 1000% projected onto brady so that in and of itself was therapeutic lol. but i'm also just really proud of how i wrote the emotions and how i conveyed everything. and how i was able to write so much!! it's the longest fic i've written to date

2 intoxicated [tim stutzle/brady tkachuk]

agree/disagree

hell yeah i love this fic. writing it was so much fun and i do go back and read it (bc if i don't want to read my own work then why bother writing it). it was just some dumb idea i had one night while trying to get to sleep and it turned into a crack/fluff piece that i enjoy a lot

1 je t'aime [thomas chabot/josh norris]

agree/disagree

okay this is also one of my favourite fics i've written. chabby and josh grabbed me by the throat and i just had to write something about them. i'm actually shocked and really happy that this is my top fic because i didn't think there'd be that many people who'd want to read about this rare pair! but i love it, and i am tempted to make a part 2 at some point!

tagging @saintknightcowboys and any other writers who'd like to do this!!

#tag game #fic talk

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increasinglygeeky · 2 years

Text

Uhhh. Stranger Things Season 4 VOL 1. thoughts

I'm conflicted about the whole Mileven/Byler dilemma b/c I've been a Mileven girl since the beginning but hey, whatever happens in Vol 2., happens.

Mileven deserves rights just b/c El has been through so much she needs to be happy no matter what when it's all over.

RONANCE BROMANCE HELLS YEAH!!!

why the fuck weren't Dustin and Steve being my fave funky duo of this show???...DUFFERS EXPAIN

LUMAX LIVES BITCHES!!!!

Eddie being my new fave skrunkly scrimblo

Why the f is no one talking about Fred?? (His name is deadass Fred Benson hehehe) What did he kill a bunch of people????

Also did they seriously force Nancy to go through the loss of TWO close friends in the span of 3 years???

Also Chrissy deserved better she was so cute

EDDIE AND HER COULDVE BEEN BFFS MAYBE EVEN MORE B/C I DOUBT THAT PRICK JASON ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT HER TO NOT EVEN SUSPECT ABUSE!!!

Robin is....diff in this season but I'll let that slide b/c she was adorable

I feel so bad for Lucas. Baby sacrificing all his healths to just help out his friends.

Still Anti-Billy. Just beacuse of his dad gave him NO right to treat Max the way he did.

Although the letter scene did hurt especially when you think about how much Max probably wanted a normal, big, family no matter what....

I also feel so bad for Jonathan he's probably going through so much internally if he's giving himself over to weed.

EL DESERVED TO BEAT ANGELAS FACE IN I SCREAMED YOU GO MY FUNKY LITTLE GIRLBOSS!!

ERICA MY OTHER FUNKY LITTLE GIRLBOSS NOW APART OF THE PARTY HELL YEAH WHAT A QUEEN SHE WAS THIS VOLUME.!

Love the look of how you communicate from the Upside Down its probably the only comforting thing there

Honestly I'm Argyle in THAT situation

Why did we stop the California plot line midway???

Suzie is so goddamn funny

Her family helping her out was the best ever

I feel like this season/volume dials up the comedy and it actually works

I nearly had a stroke when the boys were asking about the Internet.

You could've gave Will some friends of his own or something Duffers, gotdamn.

Why did they fuck up his role so bad??

At least he actually gives a damn about El.

Im so glad will and Jonathan do refer to themsleves as El's brothers its what she deseves.

El and Will being in sibling sync had me hollering.

Seriously Mike, wtf were you thinking with those letters???

Loving the Nightmare on Elm Street shoutouts and parallels it's my fave horror series.

THEY DEADASS GOT ROBERT ENGLUND HELL YEAH!!!

NO NO STEVE/NANCY ENDGAME ARE YOU KIDDING ME NO!!! HE LITERALLY WENT THROUGH HALF OF THE SERIES GETTING OVER HER FUCK OFF.

At least their interactions reminded of how much Natalia and Joe would be so good as Nancy Thompson and Glen Lantz in a proper Elm Street remake/reboot I'm frothing at the mouth thinking about it.

STEVE HARRINGTON STOP BEING SO HOT WHEN YOU'RE BEATING THE SHIT OUT HELL BATS HAIRY TIDDIES OUT AND SPITTING UP BLOOD!!

I am in desperate need of a reader fic where we react to Steve in that scene.

Max is strong...stronger than all of us.

Wait was it Vecna who killed Barb and not the Mind Flayer??

I felt SO BAD for El when they buzzed off her hair especially when you remember her commenting that Argyle's is longer than hers she probably wanted to grow it out for as long as she can.

The rope going through the Upside Down was chefs kiss.

At least we get a proper reason to why they call it the Upside Down.

When Hopper found the church and peanut butter I almost cried b/c that's obviously the most peace hes gotten in like a year.

JOPPER JOPPER JOPPER JOPPER JOPPPER REUNION WAS BETTER THAT MY EXPECTATIONS IM SO HAPPY MY PARENTS!!!!

DID VECNA TAKE WILL THIS WHOLE TIME!?!?

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broomsticks · 2 years

Note

BROOMSTICKS MY LOVE! It was so hard to choose but I'm going with 9, 25, 28, and/or 32, with 25 and 28 absolutely being inspired by our conversation just now XD

from this fic writer ask game (no time limit on this, feel free to ask anytime!)

❤️❤️❤️ oooooo you picked some great ones!

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

oooooh so i don’t really quite know who’s unknown, but some new people i’ve loved following since the last time i posted shoutouts to hp/marauders/wolfstar & misc-fandom/pan-fandom blogs:

@leogichidaa! amazing regulus & black family meta (sirius and regulus and healing from enmeshment, the lost boys: sirius, percy, and BCJ) and fic

@tracingpatternswrites whose Sirius' first full moon in Azkaban fic murdered me

@everythingbutcoldfire -- lovely lovely valentine’s day aroace remus lupin fic, and excellent reblogs & thoughts on aroacespec stuff too

i refuse to stick to 3 haha it doesnt count if i rec people for things other than fic right???

@mkaugust writes wonderful poetry & also microfic may wolfstar!

@carlav-blogs so wholesome! those tattoos!!! the details are ENDLESS.

@remixloonylupin the tenderness. your style. oh my gosh. (pspspspss also writes incredible fic about transness and psychosis)

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

hmmmm some of the time, maybe half? i definitely listen to music a lot BEFORE i start writing, to get me into the mood/ clear my head sorta — it’s also happened before, once or twice, that i’m poking around spotify without the intention of writing and i get randomly bitten by the urge to fling out some words. not necessarily good words, but — whatever, we take those XD

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

uhhhh BADLY. (also, my writing pressure is pretty much all internal rather than externally imposed, if that matters!)

1) sometimes i try to push through the bad, and — sometimes it works, honestly. sometimes brain is just being a dumb and cuts out the tantrum after a while.

2) trying to get my head in the right space — so, music, and — that’s mostly why i have these lying around tbh: self care tag / encouragement / overcoming perfectionism

3) venting to understanding people!!! one of the most important things i’ve found (am still learning) is that so many people—literally even the most amazing ‘why are you not writing original fiction you could be making a killing’ / ‘you??? reading MY TRASH?? why do you even BOTHER honestly’ writers—can relate to these writing struggles! & not just the struggle, but also that indescribable desire to do it anyway. it’s weird and wonderful and literally the only reason i even dared to start let alone am still going (ish) hahaha

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

billie believe me when i tell you i agonized over these for A G E S, seriously considered skipping the question, etc etcetcetc

from my andromeda halloween/yule drabble series, star of wonder:

The tree itself was still as green as ever. It would look just at home bare out in the biting cold, or all dressed up beside the roaring hearth fire. Unchanged, steadfast, evergreen. Just the same in the cozy Hufflepuff common room filled with the aroma of baking bread and the elegant Slytherin one with its enchanting music, in the Black family manor or in the Tonks’s small Muggle cottage.

the summary of my peter drabble, Resolution:

Since he was eleven, Peter’s New Year’s Resolution had always been the same: this year I will be braver.

the last sentence to my RL fest remadora, the grace unasked for:

And he learns that, even at the furthest ends of the earth, you're always sheltered under the same sky, watched over by the same moon.

especially because it was pointed out to me by a lovely commenter that this is apparently really similar to a poem that i may have come across before but certainly don’t consciously remember!

thank youuu for the ask!

#leftsidedown tag #ask game

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boypussydilf · 1 year

Note

How about Gina and Gregson for the ask game?

OOH FUN CHOICE. i havent thought about them much. theyre green

ginny

Sexuality Headcanon: she can be a lesbian

Gender Headcanon: trans girl !!!!!

A ship I have with said character: whats it called goulstrade? yeah i like that its cute

A BROTP I have with said character: It is a CRIME that gina doesnt get to be called iris’s sister. they ARE sisters. and i love them. i also wanna give a shoutout to her friendship w ryuu tbh like hes responsible for kinda changing her worldview and letting her finally trust adults more bc he believed in her so much,. and thats neat. and also she shoots him

A NOTP I have with said character: there are no gina ships i have strong opinions about

A random headcanon: i know i said it before but in DGS3 From My Brain the baker street irregulars are like half ginas idea and half her thing. round-up of kids she maybe even knows some of personally. in general i believe in post-dgs2 gina using everything she has available to her to try and make life better for Kids Like Her

General Opinion over said character: Gina Gina Gina shes sosososo good !!!!!! i love her arc i love her everything !!!!!! i wish the writers recognized more what a major character she is. she feels like a part of the Core Group but then gets left out of Core Group events. SHES part of the family too i know it. i love her

slut failure gregson

Sexuality Headcanon: i know in my heart that man is aroace. i just do

Gender Headcanon: Just Some Cis Guy

A ship I have with said character: I have never seen a Gregson ship in my life.

A BROTP I have with said character: this guy has a limited cast of friends and theyre all great 1 gina. obviously. congratulations bitch!! you are forced to have a daughter figure now!! incredible wonderful friendship all they do is yell at each other. 2 iris like their interactions always put their dynamic just in the context of how iris writes about him sometimes but like . Considering everything there is distinctly a nonzero chance that hes known iris her entire life? so idk. just something to consider. 3 he and sherlock are not friends but they are really funny. gregsons curse woe sherlock be upon ye

A NOTP I have with said character: Again, I have never seen a Gregson ship in my life. Shit, maybe yall should start pairing him with random people just to see what fucking happens. Wheres uhhhh *flips through files* gregson/drebber ohgod im laughing so hard

A random headcanon: HGMMMMMMMM . i honestlygot nothin thats actually properly about him . uhh. yeah idk. He exists in proximity to many other characters and has probably had interactions with them! i cant think of anything thats really about him and isnt Actually Canon though.

General Opinion over said character: Best character in the game. tbh. i know ive said this before and also i say it about every character. But they kind of went off with this guy. they made a deeply interesting and complicated character who does some really fucked up things but also cant entirely be called bad . and then had 90% of his screentime be him getting shunted off to get bullied by various people and suffer the agonies of putting up with annoying bullshit. and they were right for that, too. bc its funny.

#Ive done so many of my Long Ass Rambling Ask Games #that when i do one more like. the normal amount #i go ohhhhhh god its so short. yeah this is how its supposed to be #basilask #dgs from my brain #< new tag for dgs from my brain.#headcanons n shit. i went and organized a buncha posts w it last night #the basil dgs cinematic universe is growing

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eluminium · 1 year

Text

I posted 1,473 times in 2022

That's 1,184 more posts than 2021!

137 posts created (9%)

1,336 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bucket-of-amethyst

@the-king-of-lemons

@impulsesv-but-everywhere

@luigra

@eluminium

I tagged 1,105 of my posts in 2022

Only 25% of my posts had no tags

#dose of impulse - 535 posts

#dose of skizz - 272 posts

#dose of bdubs - 81 posts

#impulsesv - 63 posts

#el rambleth - 51 posts

#dose of tfc - 43 posts

#el answereth - 36 posts

#dose of gem - 35 posts

#dose of tango - 33 posts

#double life spoilers - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i love grian as much as anyone else but honestly i'd rather not have him be involved in any resistence plot because we've already done that

My Top Posts in 2022:

appearently Joe said "maybe ive been instructed to make a sign to passively-aggressively shame impulse. no im just kidding i dont think impulse does drugs" in response to someone asking them about the "Winners don't do drugs" King Ren screen on the arcade. Which, while hilarious on its own, just made me think of like, soup group seeing that screen.

Like they see the king ordering them not to do something??? He dare extend his authority like this???? Well no king can tell THEM what to do!

Cue a meetup at the little research office in Pearls mushroom where Impulse is crying on the floor because he can't roll a blunt right, (Grian and Ren rolled all his blunts in the Hippie era, his hands were and are too big and clumsy for this) Pearl is trying to mix weed into a soup they're gonna give to the king but shes not familiar with the plant either so shes also struggling, and Gem is blazing it up with absolutely no problem. Shes a nature Elf, how the fuck did the others ever think she didn't know her way around plants like these

(weed is also legal in Canada. Its not in Australia but it IS in Arizona. Impulse is knowledgeable about the drug its just been so long since the Hippie days, hes been too much of a good boy lately. Hes lost the little blunt rolling skills he had :[ he was bragging about it to Gem and Pearl too and now hes made a fool out of himself :[[[)

Shoutout to @potionofinstantdamage for reporting that Joe quote and indirectly causing me to create this post.

527 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

Useless Facts about ImpulseSV: the post

Welcome to “Useless Facts about Impulse”. The title says it all. I am Eluminium, that one fuck who decided to watch every single Impulse hermitcraft season and actually fucking did it, and I have a bunch of completely useless knowledge from it now. AND I SHALL SHARE IT WITH YOU SO YOU TOO MAY ALSO BE ENLIGHTENED! Also cuz i’m bored as shit (Btw i’ll probably keep adding onto this post as I remember or gain more useless knowledge) People who’ve blessed this post with more facts: @bucket-of-amethyst @tsukinouta LET THE FACTS BEGIN! First addition of facts: August 7th 2022

-Out of every single base Impulse has constructed on Hermitcraft, 3 and a half of them have featured water as a major design element. These would be the City of Atlantis (S5), iBay (S6), The Pyramid (S7), and the half is his “starter base” temple (S3). (I count it as a half because he spent a considerable amount of time designing it but it isn’t his main base so to say.) -Impulse has two seasons of Hermitcraft that are the exact same lenght in terms of episodes, these being S3 and S4, both having 57 episodes. -Impulse’s longest season is S6 with 113 episodes, and his shortest is S8 with 35 episodes -Out of every base Impulse has built, only 2 of them do not feature his logo on the inside or outside in it’s final design. These are iBay (S6) and The Pyramid (S7)

-Impulse is shorter then Bdubs IRL. Bdubs claims to be 5′10 while Impulse claims to be 5′8. This makes fanon extremely hilarious

-In S4, the safe rooms Impulse and Tango constructed in the Wither Skeleton farm were called “The Sissy Room”, but only for one episode. After that it’s never mentioned again.

-Impulse’s wife (Ms. Impulse) has never touched Minecraft because she’s an interior designer and would most likely disappear off the face of the Earth if she ever let herself play the game. It hasn’t stopped Impulse from trying a few times though.

-Impulse has a habit of biting off more than he can chew. In 4 out of 7 seasons he’s been in there have been obvious projects that were never finished. These are in order: The roof of his and Tango’s shared Mega Base (S3), A fair amount of The City of Atlantis (S5), The missing farms on the Phinias Board (S7) and the interior of The Candy Factory (S8)

-Impulse’s current keyboard (At the time of writing) was custom made by his son

-In both S3 and S7, Impulse used the exact same floor desgin and armor stand gimmick for his Patreon Monument.

-One of the reasons Impulse and Skizzleman remain such close friends today was because he found a book on networking on Skizz’s bedroom floor when they were both looking to go to a new collage. They both went to the same Networking class after Impulse suggested it and have been glued together ever since. -They absolutely hated that networking class though

-Impulse has had 4 piercings in total. One in the tongue, one eyebrow one, one nipple, and one in the ear. Both the eyebrow one and the nipple one were taken out after they got caught on various zippers, and the ear one was something he did together with his drumline. None of them survived to the present day though.

-Impulse has sold enchanting related things in 4 out of 7 seasons (S4 S5 S6 S9)

-Impulse used to be completely bald and beardless until he grew out his hair and a beard for a No Shave November challange and people said it fit him. He hasn’t returned to baldness since that (At the time of writing) -Every since their introduction, Impulse always carries a totem on him. Although he has a resource pack that makes the totem invisible in first person so it won’t block up the screen as much.

-His Guardian Goodies shop building in S7 is an exact replica of a Guardian “shop” (everything was free) xB designed in S3

-Impulse has won every single “How to Kill” compitition, and with the exact same concept to boot. In “How to Kill a Doc” he made a bunch of traps that looked like the final blow but weren’t, instead having the killing strike be deliver by Impulse himself. In “How to Kill a Tango” he did the exact same thing, although the final blow should have been delt by a Magma Cube instead. Both of these killing machines also share similar surprises. Both involve fire charges (One from dispensers, one from a live Ghast), anvil launchers and TNT. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it i suppose?

-Impulse actually bought the “copyright rights” to the “i” brand from Iskall in S6 so he could keep iTrade open without confusion. Never got something similar from iJevin thought.

-When S6 updated to the villager update, Impulse managed to obtain a glitched Farmer Villager who never locked up his trades no matter how much you traded with him. Although he did lose a fair amount of villagers in iTrade too, so it was more a soul for a soul.

-The only season Impulse was part of that never had Elytras was ironically S3, the one with amplified terrain.

-The first time Impulse properly tested out the Elytra, it lagged so bad he died from fall damage by falling into Xisumas Guardian Farm. The elytra refused to open.

-Impulse and Tango has had an agreement since Impulse joined in S3 that they can take certain resources from each other’s storages and farms without asking before hand. They call this “Mi casa, Ti casa” or “My house, your house”.

-In 4 out of 7 seasons, Impulse has had at least one entire video that centers around either a request from xB, or featuring xB himself. (S3 S4 S5 S7)

-The “SV” in impulseSV could be read as “impulsive” but it actually stands for Impulse’s IRL initials

-Impulse was introduced to Minecraft via his son, who wanted to get into gaming. Impulse mostly played shooters but he didn’t want his kid to play those types of games at his age, so a coworker suggested Minecraft. Although his kid didn’t know anything about the game, so he had to hop on and learn too.

-Impulse plays Minecraft with an inverted mouse. This is because he got so used to flying helicopters in various shooters it made more sense to his brain that dragging the mouse down means up, and pushing it up means down.

-Impulse started out as a fan of Tango’s until he learned that he and Tango are pretty similar in age and in video style. So he e-mailed Tango about a collab and he accepted. Later they learned they lived incredibly close to each other and went out for some “sodas” (aka BEERS). The rest is history.

-The name Impulse along with the black and yellow colour scheme is something Impulse stole from his drumcore’s name and colour scheme. His favourite colour is actually purple.

-Impulse and Skizz live in the same neighbourhood (at the time of writing)

Second addition of facts 9th of August 2022

-Impulse has a dog (specifically a Border Collie) named Prim and a cat named Luna. Luna was a gift for his older daughter. Impulse wasn’t the biggest fan of cats until his wife got one, and he fell in love as well.

-He and Skizz have been best friends for over 25 years (at the time of writing)

See the full post

818 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

“There’s only two genders, MCC winner and non MCC winner” well damn Impulse congrats on your transition!!!!

1,253 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

Impulse: does an entire week of recording, including two videos, one of which for a major server event, and then an entire 4 hour livestream that was an EVEN BIGGER server event WHILE SICK ENOUGH THAT HE SKIPPED AN ENTIRE WEEK OF STREAMING

Impulse, the day after:

Oh wow. How did this happen. What a mystery. (Affectionate)

1,747 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

IMPULSE JUST CHUCKED THE QUEST RULEBOOK INTO THE OFFERINGS PIT LIVE AND DECLARED ANARCHY HES DOING IT. HE’S GOING OFF HIS ROCKER! IT’S ALL I’VE EVER ASKED FOR-

2,367 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

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builder051 · 2 years

Note

🐄🌻🧶

Cow: What is one other tumblr blog you really appreciate?

Do I have to pick one? I feel like one of those guys at the Oscars who are so flabbergasted they won the award (in, like, sound editing or smth) that they tremble through a speech in half-French-half-English, then remember they actually have notes in their pocket, but they’re upside down, and he’s trying to name all the members of his team as possible in the last 5 seconds, and his wife, and his great grandfather, and… commercial break.

Some of my most treasured tumblr friends are @mohini-musing @xxx-cat-xxx @plotmatsu @its-a-goddamn-heartbreak @lickstynine @sickandvomiting @feelingsick @anonyony1 @jojowritesstuff @sickficlurker2 @emetoandotherthings @taylortut And probably a good 20 other people whose names or handles I can’t remember right now. Also a big shoutout to my friend DP, who has moved back to AO3.

Sunflower: What is one thing that brightened your day today?

Seeing as my last couple days have consisted of big pain, then sleep, watch tv and fall asleep, take meds and fall asleep, and intermittently chat with DD in ASL when she comes to check on me… Today has actually been quite good.

It’s hard to walk/move without much ow, but I made it to roommate’s room with the big windows and lots of clear floorspace for kiddos to play safely. Little girl is playing toys, and my baby boy is in the bed with me, currently having a nap, and sharing/clutching 1/2 of one of my big pillow animals.

Baby boy has many medical challenges, and he doesn’t follow a typical pattern of communication development. He uses some ASL, some pre-speech baby sounds, and a handful of verbal words (or close enough that we know what he means.) Usually he communicates in context, like answering questions, or saying ‘good morning’ when we get him out of bed. Today, though, we were just lying in bed next to each other, and I was petting his hand, and he just made the most incredible baby smile and said, “I love you.”

Pronunciation wasn’t perfect, and he’s definitely learned it from hearing it said a million times (to him, among other family members, etc). But he hasn’t seen me in ~48 hours due to post-op sleepy, and for him to get me and have those words for me… just amazing little heart glitters of love and pride and amazement. So happy.

Yarn: Knitting or Crocheting?

I know how to do both. I can only cast on/basic stitch (indefinitely)/cast off when knitting. I also knit…sideways? I have to anchor one needle in my lap or on a table or smth while working with the other one to make stitches. I have made a couple of throw blankets knitting, but they’re sooo basic.

I really enjoy crochet; I find one-handed projects easier to start and stop when on the go. I know maybe 4 stitches? Just enough to pretend I can be fancy or stitch myself into a hole because I forgot what I just did and what I need to do… is definitely not that.

I learned to freehand hats when I was about 10: you just have to make the circle starter, then keep expanding and maintaining and expanding and maintaining until the dome is people-head shaped.

To go back and answer the question, I do prefer crochet.

#starbucks sunday #ask game

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astralartefact · 7 months

Text

I did the thing the people do but on here nobody can stop me from also talking about it (link here if you want to do it yourself)

I put my current favorites at the top and my all time favorites (=the games I played in my childhood and still have strong memories about) closer to the bottom which created a nice gradient that happens to really fit my overall taste! There's serious stuff in one corner, there's straightforward brain empty fun stuff in the other and I get to like it all and everything in-between because favorites don't follow rules :)

Also: I put FF14's 5.1 in first place to symbolize YoRHa:Dark Apocalypse not Shadowbringers (because custom didn't work for me and that was the closest entry to it), FF14 as a whole is represented by the Stormblood entry (which I chose because it would make Heavensward people mad)

Also Also: I think my feelings about the first 5 are relatively well documented (Reincarnation here) so I will skip explaining those

Also Also Also: Spoilers

Xenoblade X best Wii U game (Yes, I proudly own a Wii U, that thing was great and I won't hear anybody say different q_q) I want a sequel so bad.

The way it was a fake MMO with pseudo guilds was so cool to me, it really made exploring Mira feel part of this big thing everyone was working on together and it worked really well with the character creator too. Also experiencing Sylvalum for the first time will always be one of my favorite video game moments ever. (also i have not played any other xenoblade so far)

Bravely Second In my teens I had this weird obsession with playing the second game of a series without playing the first?? I did it with FF13-2 (which I dropped because I couldn't get past a certain boss early on lol) and also with Bravely Second, but with the difference that I actually knew what BD1 was about lol (and also I had played 4 Warriors of Light before too)

I just have a lot of love for Second? I really like Ryo Supercell's soundtrack for how well it still fits with the half of Second's soundtrack that's just Revo's soundtrack again despite being so fundamentally different. Like you knew what was old content and what was new by the obviously different music, but it still fit, at least to me. Altair and Vega's Theme is still one of my favorite pieces ever. Also Magnolia.

NieR Replicant Yeah. ... ... ... Maybe I should put Drakengard 1 here-

Final Bar Line Shoutout to the DLC for making me check out SaGa!!! (also I needed some Rhythm Game in here, I love Rhythm Games but I never stick to one enough to say "Yes, That One.")

Pikmin 4 This would have been Pikmin 2 if Pikmin 4 wasn't the best game ever. The only note I have is that some of the (later) dungeons could have had more interesting bosses, but aside from that it's absolutely great.

Fire Emblem Fates [Bracing for impact] I get it. Yes. We all know the story sucks. You can stop prefacing any vaguely positive statement made about this game as if to make sure you aren't thought of as one of those weebs. No, you are a smart weeb who likes FE4 and knows that Thracia exists. You think Incest is bad (wait what is FE4 about again) and the dating sim shit is really really cringey. Also something something bad localisation, something something bottom half of Camilla's design. Kaga would be proud.

I just think it's neat. I do like dating sims (there i said it), I like a lot of the characters and their designs and I think the child units - as dumb as their explanation might be - add a tangible pay-off to developing supports between party members and it adds so much replay value too. I have played Fates more than any other FE game I own and it's mostly because I can develop the children into classes they certainly shouldn't be, like making Shiro a viable mage just because I can, who cares, and all the while I discover a new line of supports. And the fact that it's not brick hard really helps with that, I don't have to sit down and plan out every step I take only to reset once I inevitably stop thinking for a second just to do a silly little run of the game.

It might not be for you, but it certainly is for me :P

AI Somnium Files This is on here for gay reasons: In one of the earlier scenes in the game (I think before going into the mind thing for one of the first times or something? It's in that room overlooking the mind link machine) I examine a shelf in the background - as you do in games like this - and there I found Pewter's gay manga collection.

And of course I thought this is just your average japanese visual novel, this is all I get, a funny little hint - not even a straightforward confirmation - that this character is maybe gay or something. But no, him being gay is an actual plot point that's relevant to the story. And I felt so happy that this thing - which at that point was my own little inside joke every time he was on screen (haha gay pewter, don't worry i won't tell on you... also you're cute) - was actually real??

People always point to that Mizuki scene (which dont get me wrong is great in its own way!) but for me finding Pewter's gay mangas will always be the thing I will remember most about this game.

Dragon Quest Builders 2 I was so in love with DQB1 and with what they have shown of 2 in livestreams I ended up importing the japanese version because there was no telling when it was getting an overseas release. And then when it finally released here I of course also bought the translated version. What can I say, It's great! I hope they're doing a DQB3 in the future, but I kind of doubt it (sadly)

Inazuma Eleven Go 2 Chrono Stone Listen. I only played Inazuma Eleven as a joke. My little brother was really into soccer and online it was constantly advertised as "Pokémon but soccer" so I just tried it out to see if he would like it.

I ended up playing through all of the first trilogy (aside from the first game) on japanese - without understanding a single word - because I was just simply so hooked. (For anyone wondering: I definitely did this legally. There were definitely no NDS flashcards involved. The reason I didn't play Go until it finally came out in Europe was definitely not because 3DS emulation wasn't really an easily viable thing back then.)

And I loved when it went crazier with Go and the Keshins! I even would have liked Go Galaxy if it didn't force me keep the most unlikeable characters in the entire franchise around (also the Souls are a full on downgrade to Keshins and MixiMax in terms of flashiness), which is why I'm putting Chrono Stone here instead.

I'm so excited for Victory Road, even though it's bittersweet that it's going to end there... but honestly I'm just glad Level 5 gets to release another Inazuma Eleven after the past few years of hell they've been through.

Spirit Tracks Best Zelda. Moving on (choo choo)

Fur Fighters Okay, my parents bought this together with our PS2, I highly doubt they knew what this game even was about and I highly doubt you know what this game even is. It's not even necessarily good and I don't think I should have played it at the age I have played it at, but... I sincerely think it has shaped a lot of my interests in an indirect way??

Basically, the setting is just cute animals saving their children with the power of guns, that's all you need to know about it. (They're also plush toys, but I somehow didn't even really realize that as a child lol) It was dreamt up in a fever dream, but it's just really good too? I need to replay this game so bad.

There's just so much stuff from this game that randomly pops into my head that I remember fondly. There's a (secret) world that's just a house but big (chibi robo style) that I always think of when any other game does it...

And in hindsight this game is so fascinatingly big? The levels are enormous and there are so many of them? And nobody seems to ever have heard about it? It's wild.

Harvest Moon Animal Parade It was between this one or Tale of Two Towns, those two are the Harvest Moons I have spend the longest time with. I'm still sad the Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons name fiasco happened and now all people know is Stardew Valley, which In My Opinion(!!!!) has the only benefit of being a PC game, most Harvest Moon games from the before times are better than it and yet nobody even acknowledges them anymore because of a good-ish indie game that's for the most part just a retro style PC version of Harvest Moon + Rune Factory.

But well, that's how the cookie crumbles. Good for him.

Pokémon Heartgold I was only allowing myself one Pokémon game and I already have Fates on this, I can't take one of the switch ones even if I would be fine with those too. I was also debating BW2 or Platinum, but then again I like all of them, I just don't like talking about it anymore because the internet has made Pokémon one of those topics that you just do not discuss in public if you want to keep your sanity.

Shoutout to Pokémon XD and Coliseum for being cool too.

Mario & Luigi RPG (entire series, but especially Partners in Time) Talk about gone to soon Q_Q My heroes. Legends. Icons. DId you know Yoko Shimomura wrote the music for this series??? It is simply iconic. I really hope with the Super Mario RPG & Paper Mario TTYD remakes on the horizon that they maybe revive/reboot this series too and give a new gameanother shot despite the flop of the remakes because this type of skill based JRPG is not only really unique but also really fucking fun and there's not really much else like it. For some reason I always thought I'm an JRPG gamer, but I have since discovered that I'm really not, I'm just a Mario & Luigi RPG gamer.

(And yes, I know AlphaDream is dead but that doesn't mean Nintendo can't just continue the franchise even just with a spiritual successor)

Paper Mario TTYD I mean, I think you know. Everybody likes TTYD. I also like all the other ones, I even thought Sticker Stars was fine even if it wasn't as good. I think this would actually be Origami King, but I haven't actually played that one myself (yet)

Speaking of which the music of Origami King is in my top3 favorite OSTs of all time and i'm not kidding about that, listen to the Autumn Mountain Battle Theme and tell me that's not some of the best shit you've ever heard - and almost every single track is like that. and don't get me started about the "joke" tracks (royal hotel pool or swan lake.) and the boss themes. and tranquil pipes teahouse. and then there's moments like the secret trans birdo affirming coffee club. it's so good, I'm so looking forward to what's coming next for Paper Mario and seeing that Nintendo seems to have revised their stance of Generics only with Wonder, the next one is probably going to be amazing.

Skyward Sword I LIKED THE MOTION CONTROLS

Rollercoaster Tycoon (I do like 3 too, I actually played that one much more, but I chose Loopy Landscapes because for some reason that expansion never worked on my pc as a child q_q I'm still yearning) Yeah. Not really much to say, I think. Except maybe that the art style of 1 and 2 is so... peculiar? Like it's so timeless it doesn't age the slightest, but it was also somehow already dated when it released? It's really beautiful in a way, but also kind of ugly. I don't know. I don't make sense. I love these games so much.

Super Mario Sunshine So many good memories, it would be wrong for me to not include it.

Yoshi's Island See above.

Mario Sports Mix I played this game (and Hoops 3 on 3) so much as a child/teen? And the music of this game is so good too. Makes me wonder what Masayoshi Soken, niche composer of Mario Sports Spin-Off Games, is doing these days.

#top 25 games #i'm not tagging these games individually #general video game thoughts #maybe i will remember to tag things with that in the future

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beacon-lamp · 3 years

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with hermitcraft season 7 slowly coming to an end, i figured it was time to consolidate all of the Informative Posts about hermitcraft that i and some of the other members of hermitblr have made over the last several months.

if you enjoy:

minecraft youtube content, but want to see more traditional vanilla minecraft gameplay like building and redstone

fun, lighthearted interactions between genuine friends including Elaborate pranks, collaborating on massive projects, light roleplay, proximity voice chat mod

weekly 20 - 40 minute long youtube videos and consistent upload schedules

chill grind stream weekends where CCs interact with chat and each other

an entire youtube channel dedicated to weekly 20-minute recap videos on what all the hermits have been up to so you don’t have to piece it together from the posts on your dash/timeline

insanely talented people who have been doing mcyt for nearly, if not more than, a decade and essentially built minecraft youtube from the ground up

give hermitcraft a try!

you will find all of the information you will Ever Need below the cut. it’s Very Long so view it on desktop.

and if you ever have any more questions, just shoot me an ask :)

what is hermitcraft?

the Basics: what, who, where, how

more details on the Basics

bonus: the historical impact many hermitcraft members have had on mcyt

where do i even start watching?

start with grian.

good mix of Incredible builds and fun server shenanigans. instigator of many server-wide events. interacts with many other hermits. generally entertaining to watch. but zero redstone knowledge.

check out hermitcraft recap.

great way to be introduced to other hermits and learn what everyone’s up to. if you find what a hermit’s been working on interesting, go watch their video and maybe give them a like and subscribe.

official hermitcraft website with links to every member’s channel

more information on every hermit’s attributes and general vibes

do hermits every stream?

short answer: yes, most do! but these streams are mostly chill grinding or buildling streams. and you don’t have to watch the streams to be caught up on content. check the official hermitcraft website for each member’s twitch links.

long answer that covers most of the hermits

what do they do on hermitcraft?

let’s start with some examples of their incredible builds.

hermit cribs: some of the megabases in s7

goodtimeswithscar’s s7 magical village with shaders

stressmonster’s bakery and ren’s star wars world

Capitalism

they have a shopping district where hermits can set up shops and sell items and resources that other hermits can buy with diamonds. here’s season 7 shopping district set on a mooshroom island:

some of the most advanced redstone you’ve ever seen

if you’re more into the technical side of minecraft, you can be rest assured that hermitcraft has some of the Biggest Brains in redstone.

tangotek: a fucking madlad. Singled-handedly created the minigame Decked Out. im Begging you to watch his tutorial video on how to play. currently finishing up his Among Us but in minecraft minigame. all of this was built Entirely in survival vanilla minecraft. get this man to 1M subscribers.

mumbo jumbo: the man himself. built a 128 x 128 block industrial district in both season 6 and 7 packed to the Brim with mechanical farms. half the brain behind the masterpiece of engineering that was Sahara in season 6. currently working on Pacific, the sequel to Sahara, in season 7.

iskall85: the other half of the brain behind Sahara and working on Pacific with mumbo in season 7. also has an industrial district like mumbo’s in season 7.

xisuma: built an automatic potion brewer in the second half of season 7. this thing churns out potions by the Shulker Box. can also turn a shulker box full of potions into splash potions and extend duration all with a press of a button.

impulseSV: incredible example of form + function. farms are scattered throughout his base. he has a farm for nearly every farmable resource in vanilla minecraft.

etho: the pioneer of some of the most widely used redstone mechanisms to date. content isn’t super redstone-focused. mostly does compact modules that serve a specific function.

zedaph: makes strange contraptions. he’s basically if grian knew how to redstone. impeccable vibes and fairly underrated.

bdoubleo100: he occassionally does this segment called “redstone with bdubs” and it’s the only redstone i understand so that’s why he’s here.

what about roleplay? and lore?

yeah they have Plenty of that too.

it generally comes in the form of self-contained storylines that involve most members on the server and take place over the course of several weeks in multiple videos. it’s fairly light roleplay, if that’s not your thing. but the plotlines also have a Massive Potential to be angsty and whatnot if you really look into it, which a lot of people also do.

here’s a more in-depth look into the Major Plotlines over the last 2 seasons (season 6 and 7). huge spoiler warning though.

um also there’s this post that highlights how truly cursed hermitcraft can be if you dig deep enough hahaha.

so do the hermits only make hermitcraft content?

nope!! many of them are involved in other mcyt content as well and are friends with other prominent members of the mcyt community!!

MCC

mcc9 blue bats video essay: the time the hermit team won the whole damn competition. a wonderfully made video worth Every second of your time. especially if you don’t typically watch the hermit teams.

falsesymmetry: mcc10 ace and mcc’s First Back-to-Back Winner

lord grian dreamslayer: that time grian Popped Off, killing dream, tubbo, and fundy in mcc9 survival games

Vault Hunters

a modded minecraft server coded entirely by iskall85′s team. all the content is streamed live on twitch.

current members are: Iskall85, AntonioAsh, Stressmonster101, HBomb94, CaptainSparklez, Fundy, CaptainPuffy, 5UP and Tubbo

more info on the series

3rd Life SMP

hardcore minecraft server with a twist that started on 4/20/21. all content is posted to each member’s respective youtube channels.

every member has 3 lives, as indicated by the color of their name: green for 3 lives left, yellow for 2, red for 1. if they lose all three lives, they can only spectate the world (like in hardcore mode). the series ends when all members have lost all three lives.

the twist: once a member is on their 3rd and final life, as indicated by a red name, they are Hostile and their goal is to take the lives of the remaining players.

the members (hermits are italicized): BdoubleO100, bigbst4tz2, Etho, GoodTimesWithScar, Grian, impulseSV, InTheLittleWood, Renthedog, Skizzleman, Smajor1995, Smallishbeans, SolidarityGaming, Tango, ZombieCleo

the tumblr tag for 3rd Life is “#3rdLife”, “#3rdLifeSMP” and “#3LSMP” if you wanna see more content, as it’s Not supposed to be cross-tagged with “#hermitcraft”.

do you have any free serotonin to spare?

here’s a bunch of posts that’ll make you smile

scar’s friendship with a bunch of the hermits

grian, false, cleo, bdubs, iskall: why they deserve so much respect

same post as above but with an addition about ren

small hermit things that give you serotonin

why you should watch tfc

if you’ve made it this far you are Contractually Obligated* to watch one (1) hermitcraft episode and reblog this post.

*for legal reason, this is a joke. you’re not contractually obligated but consider this: Please. i spent way too much time on this.

shoutout to everyone who’s posts i’ve linked and anyone who has helped answer a question about hermitcraft. this all started because i was frustrated that people were writing the hermits off as cannon fodder in mcc and im genuinely so glad that many of you have given hermitcraft a shot.

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