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red-airhead · 10 months

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𝓢𝓱𝓮'𝓼 𝓘𝓷 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓡𝓪𝓲𝓷 | 𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓢𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰𝓶𝓲𝓷 |

Masterlist

word count - 2,642

genre - angst, comfort, romance

warnings - bsf! seungmin, miscarriage, gn terms, afab! reader, mentions of toxic relationship, pregnancy, seungmin is a softie, mutual pining, sensitive and emotional reader, rain, changing in the same room, profanity, lmk if i missed anything

Seungmin found himself having a very important conversation over the phone with Y/N a couple of days ago. It was yet another petty argument that their boyfriend had started about something very little that meant absolutely nothing, and they had found themselves calling him with sniffles and soft gasps.

It broke Seungmin more than anything to hear someone that he cared about sobbing on the phone while hiding away in a room that their boyfriend couldn’t get to. What was even worse was that the only reason that they were staying was because he got them pregnant and because she supposedly ‘loved’ him.

“You need to leave him, Y/N. Just come stay with me, I have room for you and the baby you know this.” Seungmin said in a meek voice after hearing Y/N crying for a few minutes.

“Seung, you know I can’t. You know I love him too much to leave him and it’s his kid, I can’t just leave him out of my child's life..” They explained, wiping the remaining tears from their cheeks as they sat on the bathroom floor. It was yet another argument this week and there were more to come, they knew this, but it was nothing they couldn’t handle.

“I understand that but I can’t stand around and let him just hurt you like this.. It feels awful knowing I can’t do anything and if-” Seungmin cut himself off, sighing gently, “Just please,, call me if anything happens, and keep me updated.. I love you..” Oh how he wished he could mean that in a more than friends way.

“I love you too, Seung.. I will tell you if anything happens, bye..” And just like that the phone was hung up and it felt painful to let them go. It was dead silent in Seungmin’s apartment now, nothing besides the heavy rain pouring and hitting the windows of his apartment. All he could do now was wait for any text or call from Y/N.

It actually almost broke his heart knowing that they were falling apart because of a toxic relationship he tried so hard to convince them to get out of. And Y/N knew how bad it was for their mental and emotional health, but it had been 2 years since they got together, and it felt almost impossible to break ties with someone they loved so dearly.

But Seungmin and Y/N had been friends for longer. Since highschool practically, so why the hell were they not listening to him? It probably could’ve been love but there was no way that he could blame it on that. Maybe it was because they have been manipulated to the point that it felt heartbreaking to leave him.

It was so quiet without you at his home every night, talking about how annoying college classes were and how your professor expected so much out of you. How you’d easily fall asleep in his hold with no second thought about the things that waited outside of his door, or how peaceful you’d look just laying there and relaxing in his arms. What movie you’d been wanting to watch or what you had been craving. He’d always try to satisfy you and make you happy, but what hurt was how he’d ultimately be friend zoned in the end. How those late night snuggle sessions meant nothing but something to do to pass time.

----------------------------

It had been a couple of uncomfortable long days before Seungmin heard his phone ringing with a couple of texts and a call. He figured it was probably one of the members asking to come over and do something, so he ignored it. It was foolish of him though. Little did he know that Y/N was calling and texting him frantically that their boyfriend had officially kicked them out.

Today was their doctor's appointment to check up on the baby. The heartbeat that was growing had now stopped completely in the middle of the check up.

The baby had been healthy since they had gotten pregnant and even they were healthy, making sure that they were well fed and kept away from any sort of danger. Only two months in and there it was. A miscarriage.

Y/N had gotten home later that day, afraid to tell their boyfriend the news since they weren’t sure how he’d react. “Babe.. I have some news..” They’d mutter, hands fidgeting with the ends of their sleeves.

“What is it? The baby’s gender? Don’t tell me I want it to be a surprise..” He replied, setting his phone down after hours of scrolling and waiting.

“No it’s.. It’s not that.. Uhm..” “Get it out will you? I don’t have time for this y’know? I’m going out with some friends soon so make it quick.” “Miscarriage.. The baby isn’t alive anymore.. It– She… She’s….” Y/N couldn’t help but tear up, sniffling and quickly hiding their face. Their boyfriend’s expression turned from plain boredom to anger and sadness.

“What the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me? This is all your fault! You’re supposed to make sure that it’s okay, what the hell!” He immediately stood up and pushed them to the wall. He was practically furious, but deep down inside he felt so happy he no longer had to deal with them anymore.

“Baby I’m sorry– I didn’t think this would happen, everything was okay.. I–”

“Get the fuck out of here. I don’t want you here anymore. Fucking leave. NOW!”

And now Y/N found themselves walking in the pouring rain to Seungmin’s. Tears were mixed with rain water, clothes and hair became soaked with a hand on their belly where their child was supposed to be alive.

They didn’t know what to do, with the fact that they no longer had a child that they wanted so desperately, or a boyfriend to care for either her or the child. Heartbroken was certainly a word used for the way Y/N felt, but it was also practically impossible to not feel anger at themselves for not trying hard enough.

Shortly after the walk around a couple of blocks, Y/N arrived to Seungmin’s apartment. It looked more like a house but it was crammed between two others. Slowly, they walked on the pavement that lead to the door, but stopped mid way to shortly start sobbing.

Seungmin could hear crying outside, so he went to check what was happening. Maybe a couple got into an argument or a little kid playing in the rain fell over and scraped their knee. What he wasn’t expecting to see was his best friend halfway up the walkway to the door crying their eyes out.

Running out and not caring about getting wet for the first time in a while, he immediately went to their aid, his expression shifting from confusion to pure worry.

“Y/N! What are you doing here? I thought you had that appointment? Did something happen? Did that bastard hurt you? Let me see–”

“Seung… He kicked me out.. I-I told him and he kicked me out and I don’t know what to do..” Y/N said in between sobs, hiding into Seungmin’s warmth and practically clinging to him. His heart was shattering, with the way they looked so hurt and scared, and probably cold too.

“What are you talking about? What did you tell him Y/N?” He asked, gently lifting their head to look at them and see if there were any marks on their face.

“I had a miscarriage, Min.. The baby died.. Min what do I do? My baby is no longer and now I have nothing..” Y/N cried into his arms even harder, heart shattering even more now that they had to say it.

Seungmin could feel his own heart breaking from those words and he isn’t even the father, “Y/N… It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay, I have you. You have me it’ll be okay.. You can stay with me okay? I’m here okay?” He muttered, pulling them even closer into his arms, protectively holding them as he closed his eyes.

Y/N buried their face into the wet t-shirt he was wearing, hands grabbing at his shirt tightly as well with a couple of whimpers and sobs slipping by. All they could do was nod in response, afraid that words would not be formed well enough to talk.

Seungmin carefully brought them inside, closing the door behind him almost immediately and helping them out of their shoes. Soft sniffling was heard from Y/N in that process just before he led them even further into the house. Upon arriving in his room, he let them stand alone for a little while looking for clothes for them to wear. He was actually very lucky that they had even left a pair of garments there for emergencies only, and this was an emergency.

He gently handed the change of clothes to them, words following it, “If you want, you can change in here with me, backs facing each other.. That is if you’d like to be alone right now.”

“Please stay.. I don’t want to be alone right now..” They muttered, grabbing his hand gently and squeezing it before they both turned around and began to change. Of course they’ve both seen each other in undergarments, but they felt so vulnerable that she didn’t even want to look at him like that.

Another thing is that if you asked Y/N who they loved more, they’d lie and say their ex. Seungmin was someone that they’ve loved for a long long time, but in order to get over that they thought they had to date another person to ignore those feelings, and while it worked for a while, they were only back to square one.

After both of them had changed, they turned around to look at each other and Seungmin couldn’t help but smile at how cute they looked in his clothes, which caused Y/N to blushed from embarrassment and look away, just before going to his bed and laying down on it, “ Okay, I guess I’ll sleep on the couch then.”

“No, we can share a bed.. Like old times y’know?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I know how you used to be about that..” “Things have changed, just please, come lay down..” Y/N stated before patting the spot next to them, with Seungmin reluctantly laying down next to them on his side.

It was quiet for a few minutes before He spoke up.

“You know, I’m happy that asshole broke up with you.. He didn’t deserve you.”

“MIn, he broke up with me because I had a miscarriage..”

“That all the more proves he was an asshole, because if I were him, I would’ve kept you and tried again later in the future.” Seungmin explained with a scoff, just before he realized what he said, “Forget I said anything.”

“If you say so..” They muttered, burying themselves into the blanket that they shortly wrapped into after laying in bed.

It was a little longer for a couple minutes of silence before Seungmin had turned on the tv to put on as background noise, and soon enough the two of them found themselves watching whatever boring show was on.

At this point though, all Seungmin could do was glance and watch them from the corner of his eyes rubbing at their stomach with teary eyes. He couldn’t help but fully turn his attention to them, now gently placing a hand on top of theirs.

Y/N looked at him almost immediately, just before sniffling and letting the tears fall once more, “Seungie.. What do I do now? She’s gone..” His heart shattered at those words before laying down and resting his head on their belly. It only caused them to stifle a sob as they watched him.

“Lets cherish this last moment you’ll have with her then.. Let's think that she’s still here.” He muttered, gently lifting their shirt to press a kiss to their slight bump.

Y/N couldn’t help but get flustered from it, quickly stopping him, “Min, what are you doing?”

“I wanted to give her a kiss.. Is that not okay?”

“N-No it’s okay, I just wasn’t expecting it..” They muttered, a hand going to his hair as he rested his head on their now bare stomach.

It was silent again, and they could tell that Seungmin was thinking about something, with the way he was shifting a whole lot, “Is everything okay? What are you thinking about?”

“You promise to not absolutely obliterate me if I told you?” “Promise.”

Seungmin sat up, looking at Y/N with absolute nervousness, like the first time he sung in front of them. “I’ve been wanting to tell you since you got with that asshole, but I wanted to hide it because I didn’t want to freak you out.”

“Just tell me already Min, how hard can–”

“I love you. And not in the friend way, In the I want to be with you way. I know the asshole just left you but I wanted to tell you for so long I couldn’t keep it in anymore.. Seeing you in the rain like that broke my heart more than anything and you probably knew it. But I just wanted to tell you that I love you.”

He must’ve said that all in one breath because not once did you hear him breathe in between pauses.

It took them a couple of silent seconds to actually process what he said before they started to tear up again, “Minnie..” followed with a sob.

Seungmin immediately panicked and went to cup your face and try to calm you down, “I’m sorry was that too much? I didn’t want to go overboard but I think I–”

“I love you too Min.. Seungmin I love you so much that it hurt.. I didn’t want to tell you and when I was ready he came along and I just– I couldn’t..”

“Hey it’s okay.. The truth is out now yeah? So you love me? Really?”

“Yes, really.. I love you so much Minnie.”

“Thank god..” He muttered, just before leaning down to press more kisses to your stomach, “I want to give you another chance.. Not now obviously but when you’re ready,, when you want to try again..” And from those words Y/N couldn’t help but get flustered from it, a giddy smile on their face.

“Maybe in a year or so..”

“I can wait.. I’ll wait for however long you want to try again..”

Seungmin had lifted back up to admire Y/N who now seemed a lot better than from crying before, and sure it warmed his heart but he couldn’t understand their expression. It was just everything. Until one short phrase slipped.

“I want to kiss you.. Can I?”

“It’s not like you haven’t before, remember senior year dare or drink? Man you got so shit faced that day so when it was your turn and you picked dare and got dared to kiss me you said fuck it.”

“Yeah and I don’t regret it.. Now answer my question. Can I kiss you?”

Seungmin couldn’t help but laugh for a few moments from their response before pulling them close and leaning in, “Take it from me then.”

And just like that, lips connected, soft and lovingly. It was surely a kiss to remember in the books, maybe second in place compared to their first in comedy, but definitely first in passionate.

“No regrets?”

“No regrets.”

"And no more crying in the rain, come cry in my arms instead"

#stray kids #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids comfort #stray kids fluff #kim seungmin #kim seungmin angst #kim seungmin fluff #kim seungmin smut #kim seungmin comfort

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shenrickyz · 19 days

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UNKNOWN

5 times seojun makes sure to look after jisung, and 1 time jisung returns the favor

FEATURING ᝢ kang seojun, park jisung, & nct dream ensemble. WARNINGS ᝢ 5+1 things, mentions of mark's graduation, overworking, and implications of depression. WORD COUNT ᝢ 9k NOTES ᝢ okay okay so HIII!! first of all, this is for the biggest seoji fan ever aka @junjiie, also my bsf ever jj we all love you ☹️💟 second of all, this doesn't even scratch the surface when it comes to seoji, their dynamic is so intricate that i can't even to explain them bc i'll go crazy and start sobbing uncontrollably from how much i love them 😭😭 third, yes this is a 5+1 thing, going back to my ao3 roots and shit, you will never know the name of my account btw..🙁 just know there were a lot of weak hero things on there, i miss ao3 (i got locked out of my account), anyway, yeah this is a very experimental i wrote through many many all nighters and many iced coffees, but now it's done, seojun might be one of my fav nct ocs sorry zixin & niko 💗 seojun cutest person ever wbk!! okay bye bye dont crucify me pls 🙏

one

jisung is on one of his nightly walks again.

nightly walks around the dorm that is, he isn't about to go outside at one in the morning, one; because renjun would definitely kill him if he ever found, and two; he doesn't need fresh air right now.

jisung finds his own body confusing, he's tired, but can't sleep. the ground is practically stabbing his feet, but he's already walked seven circles around the couch in this short amount of time. he feels out of it, he craves something, not food, he's not hungry, he's not thirsty either, he doesn't know exactly he feels. he's sleepless, yeah, but sleep probably won't do the trick.

thoughts are rampant in jisung's mind, many thoughts. the fucking comeback, the hours of practice he's gonna subject himself to, the hours of recording they'll have to endure, the hours he's spent without even eating, how is he still alive? he might collapse onto the floor in this very moment and sleep just like that.

but instead of that, jisung (or his feet, he guesses) has other plans. he stops his tenth lap around the couch and beelines towards seojun's room, those thoughts still rampant in his mind as he starts his way there.

seojun always pulls all-nighters, he truly only needs 3 hours of sleep to thrive in this world (his words, not jisung's). the other doesn't really get how that's healthy, considering seojun's a dancer, and he's constantly up 24/7, sleep should one of his top priorities, jisung doesn't understand how he never gets tired, but he guesses the constant need to be doing something is a huge factor.

the light in his room is on, jisung can see from the crack under the door, and even if it wasn't on, seojun is always awake. he lightly twists the doorknob, peaking his head through the opened door.

seojun is, of course, doing like three things at once. he's cleaning his glasses, has a book open, and is singing along to a song playing in his mind. when he hears the door open, he glances up, smiling at the sight of his fellow 02 liner. "hi, what's up?"

jisung pauses, holding the door with his shoulder so he can use his right hand to scratch his arm, he shrugs, licking his lips. "can't sleep" he says easily, and seojun just hums, sitting up.

he doesn't say any more, patting the spot beside him on his bed, beckoning for jisung to sit with him. the younger doesn't think twice before closing the door behind him (gently though, because hikari has issues with noise). the moment he sits himself down with seojun, he feels comfortable, cozy.

"why'd you come to my room?"

"you were the only one awake".

a lie, a pretty obvious one too. jisung knows hikari is also awake, he usually gets plagued with sleeplessness when comeback preparations roll around. jisung doesn't really know why he lied, it's not like seojun would reprimand him or anything.

seojun doesn't need to know it was a lie, though.

"mmh" seojun looks back to his glasses, putting the napkin back in the case. "why can't you sleep, ji?" he asks, glancing down at the book he'd previously been reading.

jisung glances down as well, eyes focusing on seojun's bracelet. "i don't know.." he mutters, beginning to fiddle with seojun's blanket, his nose scrunched as he takes in a deep breath. "just thinking, i guess".

"ah" seojun puts on his glasses and shakes his head. jisung always thought seojun looked exceptionally pretty like this— not that seojun isn't usually exceptionally pretty, jisung just thinks he looks so good in this current state. somewhat messy hair, reading glasses on, no makeup, just.. seojun. "so what? you want me to read you a story or something?"

"no i just.." jisung pauses, scouring his mind for the right words to say. seojun's eyes go back and forth, between the younger and pages on the book before him. "i'm just— i'm thinking too much, i need to just sit down and be fine".

jisung doesn't really think the words make sense, but seojun gets it, and jisung can see that he does with the way his eyes soften. "so you just want to sit in silence?" he asks, fingers caressing the cover of the book in his hands. jisung's eyes follow seojun's fingers, humming lightly.

"not really.. can we just talk?"

"about what?"

jisung groans, covering his face with his hands. "i don't know just.. stuff" anything to distract him from his irritating thoughts, he doesn't want to think about the comeback, or the performance, or sm, or anything pertaining to that, he just wants to talk about stupid shit, talking with seojun will relax his mind. "just don't be quiet".

"well lucky for you, park, i'm a professional loud mouth".

oh do i know.

jisung makes himself comfortable, lying his head down on one of seojun's many pillows. the older simply smiles down at him, glancing back at his book and only skimming the page before turning it. "what's keeping you up tonight?"

"comeback thoughts" jisung answers immediately, getting only a small hum from the older. "i don't know, i'm nervous, anxious, worried that i'll slip up and put the whole group in jeopardy?"

his tone is questioning, like he's even confused on why he's having such thoughts, but seojun doesn't reply. the silence isn't a taunting silence, one where jisung can tell seojun is making fun of him in his mind, it's more of a silence of solace, jisung likes how the air in the room feels, his thoughts aren't yelling at him right now, they're silent, they don't bother him. "is that weird?"

"it's weird that you think you'll ever mess up" the park almost rolls his eyes at the kang's words, but he doesn't interrupt him. "you're an amazing member, jisung, you're talented, you never slip up, and you'd never bring down the group".

"you're just saying that to make me feel better.."

"i say it all the time, though" seojun adds, and jisung has to admit, he is right, but he wants to remain stubborn, wants to ignore his reddening cheeks. "and i mean it, ji, don't ever think about yourself like that, you're important, and everyone thinks so".

the words make jisung pause, he doesn't have an immediate answer for them. seojun is just so good at doing that, making him speechless. it's not like what he said was new or revolutionary, seojun says shit like this all the time, it's just something about him, not exactly his words.

seojun makes jisung feel things he can't explain.

jisung's silence doesn't bug the older, who just takes his hand, intertwining their fingers. "you— we'll be fine".

"we always are, aren't we?"

at the words, seojun snickers, unconsciously tightening his hold on jisung's hand. "yeah, we always are".

two

these days, jisung is easily tired.

maybe it's just the back to back promotions, having to learn five new choreographies and master them so he doesn't make a mistake on stage, so he doesn't upset any of the members. they're all having a rough time as well, he can't even begin to imagine how mark and donghyuck feel, knowing they have to do these promotions and also prepare for their upcoming 127 comeback (and apparently with a song they hate too, donghyuck is not a fan of sticker).

jisung just chalks up his exhaustion to the many hours he trudges around the practice room, doing the same dance seventeen times with minimal breaks, no sleep, then waking up and having to repeat the next day.

and jisung thinks it'll all be fine, because he has never actually ever been behind. if he has to force himself to learn a new choreography, he will, he doesn't care if one of his legs falls off, by the time jisung is seventy, he's probably still gonna be dancing himself to death.

so here jisung is, trying his best to keep his eyes open as he stares out the window of the van. it's way too late, schedules took way too long today, jisung just can't wait to get home, to lie down on his bed, and let the sleep take him away.

but for now, he's awake, wide awake. he's not exactly sure why he's keeping himself awake, some dumb reason he can't explain through the fatigue plaguing his own body. it's not like no one else is asleep, chenle dozed off forty five minutes ago, hikari and jeno are both gone, laying their heads on each other. it looks like sleep is about to take jaemin away pretty soon, renjun is silently sleeping in the seat in front of them, whilst mark and haechan are watching stupid videos, tired, but not tired as if they're about to sleep.

and seojun, seojun is wide awake.

seojun is always wide awake, jisung can never get it. seojun is one of the youngest members, and young people need sleep (that's what everyone says, at least), but every time jisung looks at seojun, he's awake. jisung doesn't know the last time he's seen seojun sleep— of course he sleeps, but jisung hasn't seen him doze off in a long time, the older must be an owl or something.

jisung finally stops looking out of the window, glancing over at seojun beside him. he takes his time observing the older. seojun is listening to music, a cnblue song, jisung can hear it faintly from his headphones. he lightly chuckles at the fact, and it seems that seojun hears him, removing one of his headphones. "did you say something?"

jisung suddenly startles, shaking his head through the tiredness attacking his body. "no i just.. nothing i said nothing".

seojun blinks, humming. he turns off his headphones, taking them off. "why aren't you sleeping?"

the question puzzles jisung. "what do you mean?"

"you're tired".

it's not a question, the words that escape seojun's lips are a remark, a statement. he isn't asking jisung if he's tired, if he wants to sleep, he's telling jisung that he's tired.

"that's funny" jisung replies, it's not surprising for seojun to have predicted this, it's obvious that he's tired, there are clear bags under his eyes, he can barely speak above a whisper, and he keeps having to pick himself up when his head starts slipping down, beckoning him to such a desirable slumber. "you just.. know?"

"it's pretty obvious" seojun responds, he doesn't display any kind of exhaustion, something that is absolutely stunning to jisung. seojun should be knocked out cold, he always does so much, but he never seems to ever be tired, he has to be some sort of superhuman, how does he survive without sleep? jisung will never know. "and i know you".

jisung could never disagree with that. sometimes, he thinks seojun might be a mind reader. he always knows when it comes to jisung, he can pick apart the smallest things, notice the smallest differences, and can somehow always know what he's thinking. on certain occasions, it freaks out jisung, just how much seojun knows, but on most occasions, it just confuses jisung.

"yeah, you know me so well.." jisung mutters, his tone is meant to come off as sarcastic, but seojun clearly can't notice because of how low he says it. he looks down at his feet, bumping them together.

"you should sleep".

jisung disagrees, he doesn't know why, he just wants to stay awake, staying awake is what he wants to do. "i'm not.. sleepy".

"you're a terrible liar" seojun chuckles, merely glancing at his phone before focusing all of his attention on the maknae. "you can sleep, you know, i'll wake you up when we get back".

"i don't wanna sleep".

"yes you do".

"no i don't".

"you do".

"i don't".

this childish back and forth comes out of nowhere, and it goes on for much longer than it should. it's nothing serious, playful bantering like this between the two has always been prominent in their relationship, arguing over stupid things has always been a them thing to do.

"will you stop fighting me on this?" seojun asks, his voice softening. "there's nothing wrong with sleeping, why don't you want to?"

"if i sleep, i'll sleep for too long".

seojun raises an eyebrow, clicking his tongue (a habit which makes jisung's stomach flip in ways that are so strange), a small hum leaves his lips and he leans back in his seat. "why's that a bad thing?"

"because i have to wake up early tomorrow to get extra practice in".

seojun laughs again, his laughter is a pretty harmony, one jisung loves witnessing. he doesn't mean to focus on it so much, the curve of seojun's mouth that is, but he does, he can't stop himself.

he feels himself get flicked in the head by the older, and a small yelp escapes his lips. "you dummy, that's really what your worried about?"

"dummy? you could at least not insult me.." jisung frowns, rubbing his forehead as he reels from the flick from seojun.

"seriously jisung, you need sleep".

jisung scoffs. "that's ironic for you to say" his words make seojun snort, he can't disagree with that. he's much too lively at a time like this, after the day they had, seojun still finds time to be awake, even while most of the members let their exhaustion take them away to dreamland. "you never sleep".

"this isn't about me, though" classic seojun, deflecting from anything pertaining to him and focusing on jisung. "it's alright if you sleep, i'll make sure to wake you up for your early practice".

the words come out in a joking way, but jisung knows seojun is serious when he says them, he just knows seojun, he knows how he is. seojun is always going to look after him, no matter how stubborn jisung tries to be, the older will never truly let him. taking care of him is his thing, jisung thinks the other will be looking after him until he dies.

and he wouldn't really mind it anyway.

"i—"

"jisung" seojun grits his teeth, the tone is a warning, the kind of tone mark uses with the group when they're acting like idiots. jisung thinks it's so weird when seojun talks like this, because energetic, childish, outgoing seojun should never be sporting a tone like this. "don't argue with me, you need to sleep, i'll wake you up, you know it".

i do. but jisung doesn't say that, he just lets out a tired chuckle, shaking his head. "you're so assertive.." he mutters, scooting closer and leaning his head down onto seojun's shoulder.

"anything to make sure you get sleep" seojun carts his hand through jisung's hair, an easier way to coax him to sleep, but jisung doesn't think it was on purpose, just seojun being seojun. "i'll wake you up tomorrow, and when we get back".

he doesn't need to reiterate his words for jisung to know, seojun is always going to take care of him, making sure everything is going okay with him. "uh huh, thanks".

though jisung says those words with a tone of mild irritation, he doesn't mean it.

and seojun knows, because he always knows.

three

"hyung have you seen my—oh.."

jisung can't even focus on what he's looking for anymore, because he walks into the kitchen turned bakery and experiences a type of whiplash he doesn't think could ever be replicated. he's met with the immediate aroma of chocolate chips, cookies, cookies are being made. he stops in his tracks, because the sudden chocolate chips which litter his nose aren't the only surprise.

"oh hi jisungie!" jaemin exclaims, quickly taking jisung's attention away from everything else. "what were you looking for?" jisung feels like his mind has gone blank as he tries to figure out everything he needs to articulate right now.

"my uh.. my watch" he responds, but the watch is the furthest thing on his mind. "why are you all, baking?" he finally asks, catching the attention of his fellow members.

"were doing something nice for mark!" renjun exclaims, his words muffled, his mouth is full of something. "celebrating golden hours release!"

ah, that makes sense. jisung finds the gesture cute, how they're gathering together to do something nice for mark, he really is special to them. all of them. "oh, so you're making just cookies?" he asks, not knowing what to do, so he just stands awkwardly.

"no, were making brownies too".

"were trying to make brownies" jaemin corrects, making donghyuck whip his head back to glare at him. "you didn't even get the right cocoa powder for the recipe".

"okay and? the brownies will still be good it's not like mark will even notice!"

and just like that, the pair begin arguing. wow, how fitting for them. jisung is quick to tune out of their argument, instead walking around to the other side of the kitchen counter, making his way to a certain someone.

seojun had been quiet the whole time, which is, frankly, unusual. jisung notices immediately how focused he is on making sure the cookie dough and chocolate chips mix together perfectly, so focused that he doesn't even look up to greet jisung when the younger stands beside him.

"hello? earth to seojun?" jisung calls out, suddenly craving the older males attention. the kang finally looks up, but he doesn't pause his aggressive mixing, his arm continuing to do it's thing. "are you okay?"

"hm? yeah, why wouldn't i be?"

"well.. you're quiet" jisung immediately remarks, opting to tell seojun about his newfound observation instead of making small talk. "that's weird".

seojun snickers, poking jisung's cheek (a gesture which the younger pretends to be annoyed by). "i just need to make sure these cookies are perfect, i want mark hyung to like it.."

he pokes his tongue through his inner cheek, and jisung simply nods. he gets it, seojun's need to impress mark goes way back, all the way back to their trainee days, where an eleven year old seojun would do extra well in practice just to get better praises from mark. "he will, when have you ever disappointed him?"

jisung can't do the complimenting as well as seojun does, but at least they have the same affect, because seojun smiles. a small, cute stretch that highlights his pretty pink lips.

jisung has no idea why he's staring there anyway..

"you know what, you're right, i shouldn't be stressing so much about this, these are just baked treats at the end of the day".

"glad you can see that".

the pair go unnaturally silent, the chatter of their fellow members still prominent in their ears, but nothing else seemed to matter to the 02 liners. jisung doesn't break the silence, intertwining his finger with seojun's. seojun has pretty hands, is that weird of jisung to say? no, he doesn't think it is. the rings that litter his fingers fit him so well, a barrage of gold and silver metal that compliment him perfectly.

seojun, who also doesn't say anything, just takes the act of affection as it is. his lips part, as if he wants to say something, but he immediately closes them, staying silent. jisung doesn't try to force seojun to talk, seojun doesn't try to force jisung to talk, they just stand there with their fingers laced together, comfortable in the silence overtaking them.

then suddenly, the two of them engage in a high end staring content. at this point, everyone else seems to be absolutely useless, the only thing mattering in the moment being them and their little staring competition. jisung loses almost immediately, because he does the stupid thing and lets his eyes wander down towards seojun's lips, totally not purposefully of course!

seojun laughs at the direction his eyes go, and it makes jisung immediately look up, blinking at the older.

but before he can say anything, chenle's familiar pterodactyl screech sounds in their ears.

"SEOJUNIE! COME HELP ME PLEASE!"

the shout is enough to snap seojun and jisung out of their thing, and jisung's cheeks flare up immediately, he forgot everyone else was still here. seojun snaps out of his little daze much more naturally though, even with the red hue that tints his cheeks.

"coming!" seojun quickly looks back to jisung. "uh.. do this for me? please?" jisung could never really refuse, even if seojun was really just asking him to stir cookie dough and chocolate chips for him. "i'll pay you back".

"no no it's fine go help chenle" jisung whispers, not knowing if he could speak without his voice cracking. seojun smiles at him, a pretty smile, then quickly lets go of his bowl (and jisung's hand) to go and help the yelling chinese with whatever issue is plaguing him.

jisung takes over seojun's former job of stirring together cookie dough and chocolate chips whilst the older helps chenle with his issue. he listens to the continuous bickering of renjun and donghyuck, trying his best to ignore jaemin's knowing gaze, he feels it burning holes through the back of his head.

seojun isn't gone for too long, as he comes back giggling and ruffling chenle's hair. "thank you, jisungie" he whispers, quickly taking the bowl of now mixed cookie dough and chocolate chips away from the maknae.

"no problem" jisung politely smiles, not even looking seojun in the eye, but the older seems to find his awkwardness cute, because he pinches the younger's cheeks. "what was that about?"

"what? with chenle?"

no, the other thing. jisung is referring to their little staring contest, that random moment they had, where no one else seemed to matter, like it was just them in the room and nothing else was going on, but jisung doesn't want to ask about that while everyone else is still in the room. "yeah.. uh— with chenle".

seojun narrows his eyes, but just hums, beginning to shape the cookie dough so it can start baking. "chenle just couldn't reach for something, he needed my help".

"ah" jisung hums, chewing on his bottom lip as he averts eye contact with the older, who blinks at his sudden silence. "are all of these enough?" he abruptly asks, changing the subject, much to the dismay of seojun. "mark hyung won't ask for more?"

"if he does ask for more we'll just make more!" hikari shouts from another part of the room, answering jisung's question instead of seojun, who smiles, agreeing with his answer. "it won't be that hard".

jisung hums again, having no idea how to start up another conversation. "anything i can do to help?"

"you don't have to do much" seojun responds, finally turning away from the baking cookies and back to the maknae. "unless you want to be apart of haechan and jaemin hyungs argument about cocoa powder".

jisung snorts, humored by the suggestion. "no i think i'll pass.."

"speaking of jaemin hyung, did you find your watch yet?" seojun asks, and the realization suddenly dawns on jisung, he totally forgot that he was originally looking for his watch this whole entire time. "you haven't even tried to look for it?"

"i did! but then i got sidetracked by the baking and cookies and those two arguing over cocoa powder!"

seojun chuckles at jisung's response, cupping his face as he coos at the other. everything jisung does is cute, but everyone else thinks that as well!

it's just different when it's seojun..

"you're such an idiot, jisungie".

the nickname is stupid, but jisung loves when seojun says it (but he can't say that out loud, because the other members would pout about it all day). he doesn't mean to pick favorites, he just thinks seojun is extra adorable with the way he does things, and no that is not biased.

seojun continues shaking his head, sighing. "your watch is in my room".

jisung blinks, puzzled by the words. "my watch is in your— how did it even get there?"

"you tell me, i didn't even know it was there until like twenty minutes ago, you probably put it there and just don't remember".

"but that doesn't make sense i—"

"COOKIES ARE READY!"

jisung, again, gets cut off by a loud shout, and both 02 liners immediately whip their heads towards the second eldest, who jumps up happily at the sound of the oven dinging, indicating that the cookies were ready. "jeez, why is everyone yelling today?"

seojun snickers at the comment, head still turned away from jisung. "they have to combat the other shouting hyungs somehow" he mutters, patting jisung on the shoulder before going to hikari's side, helping him with the cookies.

once they're placed onto the kitchen counter, an immediate argument starts between renjun and donghyuck, who are talking about uneven chocolate chips or something. jaemin is begging hikari to try a cookie, but the older doesn't give into his demands, and it seems that he's working a double shift, because he's making sure to slap chenle's approaching hand away each time it gets closer to the plate. jeno, on the other hand, is just standing by, helping his bo— hikari by also shooing chenle away from the batch of cookies.

jisung is just staying silent, standing by as his members get up to their own things. seojun, again, comes back to his former spot beside him. the older doesn't say anything, just reaches for jisung's hand and laces their fingers together. "what?"

"what?"

"why the sudden hand holding?"

"we were doing this before.." seojun mutters, and jisung doesn't try to shake his grip off or anything, just allows for seojun to intertwine their fingers. he smiles lightly at the fact, a smile that doesn't go unnoticed by seojun. "you like holding my hand".

"don't get too cocky".

jisung allows for his eyes to cast towards the plate of cookies on the table, and seojun notices right away, because of course seojun notices right away. "what? you want one?"

confusion colors jisung's face, and he shakes his head. "i mean yeah but hii would never let m—"

seojun doesn't wait for him to finish, grabbing a cookie from the plate and handing it over to jisung. "he's occupied with jeno hyung, he won't mind".

"but what about mark hyung?"

seojun snickers, taking jisung's hand and putting the cookie in it. "he won't mind, i'm making an exception for you, everyone will get it" jisung wants to protest, but he can't, because who is he to turn down the lovely seojun's lovely offer?

"don't worry, i'll cover for you if hii or injunie ever finds out" seojun whispers, giving a short glance to the older members in the room before raising his pinkie towards jisung's. jisung uses his free hand to take his pinkie and intertwine it with his. "pinkie swear".

jisung laughs, even if there is a cookie in his mouth. though he can't respond, seojun gets what he means, smiling lightly at him.

four

"are you going for an insomniac world record or something?"

the question makes jisung snap out of his little late night daze, and the moment he catches sight of seojun, a tired smile makes its way to his lips. the older comes up to the couch and ruffles his hair, an equally tired smile on his lips as he then turns away to go get himself some water. "i'm not an insomniac, sleeping is just becoming difficult these days".

"anything in particular keeping you up?"

jisung pauses, taking a yawn. of course there's a lot keeping him up, the groups future, mark's graduation, other upcoming graduations, what all of that means for the group in general, his role as a member of the group, but he doesn't say all of that, just hums as a response to seojun's question. "a lot".

"don't wanna elaborate?"

"not now".

the older 02 liner makes his way around the couch, throwing jisung's legs off to make space for himself. the younger groans, but ultimately allows seojun to do so, as the younger quickly takes his place on the couch. "don't whine you big baby".

jisung frowns, but ultimately lets his legs fall off the couch. he enjoys seojun's company, he doesn't want the older to leave. he likes that he's here. "i'm not whining, just annoyed that you made me move".

"you can always just kick me off the couch" yeah, jisung can, but that doesn't mean he will. he feels much more relaxed with the older there. he would never make seojun leave a room, he enjoys being around him.

"yeah.." jisung mutters. he's bored, overwhelmed with thoughts, and he feels like everything is going wrong. "but i'm lazy" he answers quickly, a good excuse, seojun won't suspect a thing.

the older hums, silent. he observes jisung for a moment, eyes scanning his body, he pauses for a moment, fingers picking at a spot on the couch, and then he stands up, sighing. "get up".

surprise colors jisung's face. "what?"

"up, i'm gonna give you a massage".

jisung blinks, completely puzzled about what the hell seojun must've picked up on. "a massage? why do you want to give me a.."

"your posture's gonna go to shit if i don't" jisung picks up on the uncharacteristic swear, but he can't exactly argue with seojun. so, begrudgingly, the maknae sits up and sighs, he always ends up giving into seojun doesn't he?

"my posture is fine" jisung argues silently, lightly wincing as he feels seojun's thumbs make contact with his back. the older gives the younger a look of bewilderment. "what?"

"why did you even wince?"

"because.. your fingers are cold".

seojun chuckles at the response, starting off much more gently this time. "your shirt is that thin?"

jisung lets out a short breath, looking away from the older. "yes, it's also the middle of the night and everything that touches me feels cold, seojun".

"no need to be such a pessimist".

jisung yawns, closing his eyes as seojun kneads the muscles in his back. he has to admit, he is getting the slightest bit relaxed. "not pessimistic just tired".

seojun hums once again, a small smile coming to his that he doesn't allow jisung to see. "so what's bothering you?"

"hm?"

"what's bothering you? tell me" seojun responds immediately. "is it mark hyung?"

jisung's silence is enough of an answer to him. seojun makes an indescribable sound, then takes a deep breath. "you miss mark?"

"everyone misses mark" jisung finally opens his eyes. "it's not just mark it's.. everything, the group, the company, future promotions, the stupid graduation system, all i want is for us to be like how we were when we debuted but now mark hyung is gone and hii has all this added stress and.. i don't know what to do, it's all eating me up inside".

jisung then lets another wave of silence hit as he finishes his long spew of words. seojun doesn't respond immediately, taking in the words and thinking of a response, but jisung doesn't doubt seojun, because he always knows what he needs.

"i just want everything to be okay—"

"it will be" seojun cuts in, a weary escaping his lips as he pokes his tongue through his inner cheek. "it's important to remember that you can always come to me with things like this, it's alright to talk about how you feel and i just.. i don't want you to feel like your alone in these thoughts because you're not and.."

jisung hears seojun's voice break, and when he glances back at the older, he's looking somewhere else, fingers still gently kneading jisung's back as he tries his best to think of what to say next. "i don't know, it always feels hard to think clearly these days".

jisung's face falls, seojun doesn't disclose things like this, he'd rather die before ever crying in front of anyone. he bites his bottom lip, but seojun shakes off whatever he was previously thinking, lightly laughing to himself. "sorry i don't know where that came from".

"no no no it's fine it's good to talk about how you feel".

seojun snickers, humored. "well now you sound like me" he turns jisung's head back forward, being only the gentlest with him, of course. the older treats jisung as if he's a fragile piece of glass. "i know i'm usually jokey or whatever but.. i don't know i'm just worried for the future of the group, i don't know what i'm going to do after graduating".

jisung blinks. "what's that supposed to mean?"

seojun goes silent for a few moments, letting out a small sigh. "seorin and i were talking about it once, how following graduation i'd probably leave the group".

just the three words 'leave the group' are enough to make jisung's stomach drop, he feels like he's about to throw up just hearing them. seojun can't leave.. what would that be like? how would jisung fare well if seojun wasn't around?

"what do you mean leave?"

seojun sighs. "jisung—"

"you can't leave! you're not going anywhere, your— your staying" jisung doesn't ask, he states, all seojun can do is pause his little ministrations and try to calm down the youngest.

"jisung—"

"why did that conversation even come up?"

"because we were just talking and.." seojun hides his face behind his hands. "i don't know, i don't have much use after i graduate i'll just be tossed out by sm, it doesn't really matter what i do".

"yes it does" jisung presses, grabbing seojun's hands. "you're not leaving the group, i'm not going to let you".

seojun allows for himself to laugh. "you're not going to let me?"

"no, and chenle won't either, probably, you can't go it'll just—" jisung pauses, gathering his words. "it won't be the same without you".

seojun stays silent for a while, basking in the feeling of jisung's hand in his own and their breathing in the now soundless living room. "okay, i'm sorry i just.." he twirls a strand of hair between his finger. "i don't know, i was just in a bad spot when i brought that up, i'm just not feeling my greatest".

jisung frowns again, now upset that the older is upset. "it's really fine, if you want to talk about it we can.."

"no, we don't have to" seojun quickly dismisses, waving off jisung's words. the maknae narrows his eyes, a look of pity in them that he knows seojun hates more than anything. "just— let's finish with this stupid massage and get you to sleep".

"what about you?"

"what about me?"

right. jisung doesn't know what he should've expected, seojun putting himself first is one of the rarest sights he'll ever behold in his lifetime. he sighs lightly as the older continues with the gentle pressing of fingers into his back, slowly feeling himself get sleepy from the ministrations. "on another note, i'm pretty sure seorin hates me".

seojun giggles. "seorin does not hate you, she literally told me she likes you!"

"then she must've been lying cause i don't remember the last time she looked at me like she wanted me in the room".

seojun narrows his eyes at jisung, finding the statement about his sister hard to believe. "she'll warm up to you eventually".

jisung frowns, sending seojun an 'are you serious?' look. he often feels awkward around seorin, yeah she's nice and everything but she always glares daggers at jisung, he assumes it's all unintentional, but it doesn't stop him from being endlessly intimidated by her.

seojun can't believe the words escaping jisung's lips, because to him, seorin is probably the least intimidating person he knows, but he also knows her better than anyone else. "i hope that eventually is soon because i can't deal with feeling like your own twin sister hates me".

"she doesn't" seojun reassures once again, stopping his message and placing his chin on jisung's shoulders. "can't you trust me on this?"

jisung finally gets to look at seojun closer, though he rarely has to turn his head to get a good look at the older. "i always trust you" he whispers unconsciously, he originally meant to think that, but judging by seojun's reaction, he knows that he indeed did not think it, and he said it out loud.

if there's any sign of a red hue on seojun's face, he quickly shakes it away and clears his throat. "alright um— massage over, it's time to sleep".

seojun quickly moves away from jisung, whose silently confused about his change in behavior. "seojun?"

"hm?"

"can i uh.." jisung pauses, he doesn't stand up right away, feeling seojun poke his cheek and then pull it. "can i stay in your room tonight?"

seojun chuckles immediately, probably his fastest response to jisung this whole night. "of course, you didn't have to ask" jisung knows that, seojun would've even made the offer himself, that's just the way he is.

jisung just knows how seojun is, he's become very in tune with the older.

"okay come on, you need sleep".

and what else can jisung do but follow?

five

"it's cold".

if jisung knew having to promote in the middle of the december meant he'd be provided a sweater only half the time, he would've faked a sickness or something. don't get him wrong, all the songs are so fun to perform, but he was never truly on board with the whole winter special album thing, he likes performing in not so hot but not so cold temperatures. having to promote in the middle of december is not his thing, even with him being a winter baby himself.

he felt as if he wasn't made for the cold.

"you've been saying that for the past five minutes, we get it jisung-ah".

jisung gasps at the comment from jaemin, feigning offense at the words. he doesn't care if he has to repeat it another seven times, he will, it's unbearably cold in this waiting room, and jisung isn't wearing anything that covers his arms. of course he isn't the only one here without a sweater, hikari is currently on his phone, trying his best not to shudder, and jaemin seems to be happy in all of his sweater-less glory, probably because he gets to show off his arms or something.

"well as i will continue to say that! it's freezing in here!" jisung exclaims, a frown on his face as he earns nothing but a laugh from his fellow members. he crosses his arms, looking away from the rest of the group in fake anger. "i'm the maknae, you guys should be caring for me.."

"just ask noona for a sweater".

"i— she's busy i don't want to waste her time!" jisung is quick to yell, but he really just doesn't know how to approach her, he doesn't want to make anything awkward. he also just really hates asking for help, so he lets the goosebumps begin appearing on his skin, trying his best not to shiver in the freezing temperature of the room.

"then stop complaining if you won't ask" jisung snaps his head towards chenle, opening his mouth to make some snippy remark, but he's quickly cut off by the small sound of the door colliding with the wall. "we're back~!"

in walks mark and, of course, seojun, who are wearing joyous smiles on their faces, plastic bags in their hands. jisung hums at the sight of them, whilst donghyuck jumped up excitedly at the sight of the leader and second youngest. "did you get them!?"

mark sighs, pretending to be disappointed that the snacks they went to get are all donghyuck cares about. "yes, we got them, we got enough as well".

"we've been saved! thank you!"

jisung watches the members rush to get the snacks they so desperately begged the others for, he doesn't really want anything, he's not hungry at the moment. so now the members are gorging on their little treats, their hearts happy, thanks to mark and seojun. "you don't want anything?"

"hm? no, i'm fine" jisung responds quickly, but then he feels uncomfortable again, trying his best to keep calm in this terribly freezing room. "it's just so cold!"

mark raises an eyebrow. "you're cold?"

"what do you mean? it's very cold in here.." hikari chimes in, clearly shivering when he mutters those words. the leader, whose wearing a jacket, has no idea what kind of cold these two could even be feeling at the moment. "jisung's been professing that for the past hour".

"not the past hour! it's just.. very cold" jisung reiterates for pretty much the hundredth time that hour, trying his best to warm himself up by rubbing his hands together.

"you guys are cold? i'm hot" seojun comments, unzipping his sweater as he stares at his fellow 02 liner, who gives him a dumbfounded look, it seems that hikari also shares the sentiment jisung has in his head.

"that's cause you're weird! you never get cold!"

"well it's not cold!"

"it's never cold for you!"

jisung exchanges glances between the two nct sei members, humored by their small argument about the weird temperature physics regarding seojun's body. jisung finds seojun confusing, he's constantly energetic but never tired, constantly hot but never cold, what kind of a person is he?

"jeez your shivering.."

jisung flinches the moment seojun's finger graces his goosebump filled arm, his hands are always so cold, he thinks seojun might be a walking ice block, elsa's long lost cousin or something, he's always so cold, a clear contrast to his personality. "yeah i'm shivering! do you not the feel the below zero temperature in this room?"

"nope, your whining so much, you could at least take it like a champ like jaemin hyung".

jisung scoffs, wrapping his own arms around himself in other attempt to try and heat himself up manually. he gives a frown, and his fellow 02 liner does nothing but laugh at his display. "are you enjoying my misery, seojunie?"

"very much".

"of course you are" jisung crosses his arms, turning away from seojun with that same frown remaining on his face. he hears the kang chuckle again behind him, and a small shuffle he can't exactly explain.

it's not until jisung feels someone put something over his shoulder, that he realizes what happened.

seojun took off his sweater, and gave it to jisung.

the maknae immediately feels rebuttal, moving to take the sweater off but only feeling seojun's hand get placed on his shoulder. "don't even think about taking it off".

jisung sighs, shaking his head. "seojun i'm not wearing this.."

"you said you were cold, right? take the sweater" seojun doesn't seem to care, seeing that he looks virtually unaffected by the freezing temperature of the room. jisung's about to disagree again, and seojun can tell before he even opens his mouth.

"jun, i was just being overdramatic i don't actually—"

"jisung, stop being stubborn, your cold, i'll be fine" the older is quick to cut him off, shoving his hands into his pant pockets and humming along to a song playing in his head. it's that one paramore song he's been obsessed with since forever that jisung still doesn't know the name of.

jisung hesitates for a moment, registering the feeling of the sweater on his back. seojun just nudges him, a knowing look in his eye. finally, not wanting to be scolded any more for being stubborn, jisung puts on the sweater, the fabric smoothly slipping through his wrists and immediately making him feel comfortable. "uh.. seojun?"

seojun turns back to the maknae, smiling. "yes?"

jisung fidgets awkwardly, settling with the feeling of the fabric against his skin. "thank you" he says, just a little whisper that's meant to be kept between the two of them, jisung isn't sure why he whispers exactly, but he felt that in the specific moment, he couldn't control the volume of his voice.

seojun smiles at the words, his smile is beautiful, jisung thinks it compliments his features so well. "it's nothing, jisungie, you know i'm always here for you".

seojun doesn't have to say the words for jisung to know, his actions already speak loud enough to him. the maknae continues to fidget with his fingers, but he shares a smile with seojun, a small feeling of elation soaring through him.

jisung knows that, as long as seojun's around, he's always going to look after him.

and he doesn't mind it, really, he loves it, in fact.

+ one

jisung feels like he hasn't seen seojun all day.

he's seen the older maybe once or twice, but he hasn't exactly seen him. he feels like he hasn't heard him speak, or seen him smile, or heard him crack some stupid joke in years, jisung knows even the most energetic of people have their days, but seojun? seojun is mr. 'i don't care how tired i am i'm going to scream in your face all day', but seojun practically feels invisible today.

jisung knows seojun is tired, he knows seojun, he knows the older's constant all nighters would catch up to him eventually, but he feels like a ghost today, like he's just dragging himself around.

jisung is.. very worried.

"where's seojun?"

the first person to look up is hikari, who seems just as confused as jisung. hikari usually always knows where seojun is, but that's because the older seems to have some tracking device on him or something. he blinks for a moment, confusion coloring his face. "i don't know.."

"for once" jaemin snorts, and all the older does is glare at him, flicking him in the forehead. jaemin gives his best pitched up squeal at the collision, pouting as he rubs his forehead, but hikari pays him no mind, waving him off. "ow! you're so mean.."

"stop being stupid then".

jisung just stands there awkwardly, still having no answer to his question, he has to admit, he is starting to get a little bit weird, his leg bouncing up and down as his mind races with..thoughts. if seojun were here, right now that is, he'd talk with jisung about it, he'd run his hand up and down jisung's back comfortingly and do the seojun thing.

the seojun thing is what jisung calls the little mind reading powers seojun has. seojun is basically a master at everything jisung, he can tell what he's thinking, why he's thinking it, what he's about to say, and why he's about to say it. he thinks seojun knows him more than he knows himself sometimes, he's just so good at things pertaining to him.

"you're looking for seojunie?" renjun suddenly inquires, entering the room with his eyes pointed at his phone. at the sight of jisung's nod, the older gives a small frown, but jisung can't figure out why. "he's still practicing, i think".

jisung furrows his eyebrows, it is way too late for anyone to still be at sm. "at this time?" he questions, what the hell is he doing? he only earns a shrug from renjun, who is just as confused as he is.

"he said something about wanting to get extra practice in, it has been a while, though.."

that's all jisung needs to hear, he mutters a tiny "thank you" and goes back to his room to get his jacket, not focused on anything but seojun and his weird late night practicing. when hikari and jaemin interrogate him on where he's going, all he says is that he's going to check up on seojun, make sure he's okay. he pretends to have no idea why jaemin is staring the way he's staring, whatever that taunting look means.

jisung doesn't like leaving the dorm after dark, it's strange to him, but he has to get seojun before the older ends up sleeping at the sm entertainment building.

his jacket isn't zipped up, and the nightly breeze isn't exactly warm, but jisung doesn't care, he's only focused on seojun, seojun who he pretty much hasn't seen all day, seojun who he pretty much hasn't heard all day, seojun who he just wants to make sure is okay, and healthy, and alive and totally not suffering.

when jisung steps into the sm entertainment building, a strange shiver run downs his spine. it's like a ghost town in there, save for a few murmurings he can hear from the some of the rooms littered in the halls.

but he doesn't allow for himself to stray away from his main objective, quickly turning and heading to the practice room. jisung always thought these halls spread way too far, it was only a good few feet, but sometimes, especially at night, it felt like an eternity. he almost feels like he walks forever, and when he makes it to the door of the practice room, he pauses.

it's silent, no music, no footsteps hitting the floor, no heavy breathing, it's just silent. the silence concerns jisung, because seojun is known for making noise, but he doesn't allow for his anxieties to amplify, just places his hand on the doorknob and turns it.

the lights are still on, jisung notices, so seojun couldn't have left. when he finally looks down, he finds seojun. seojun is dozed off, asleep on the floor with his arms caged around himself. jisung lets out a sigh of relief, it could've been worse, he doesn't exactly know how, but it could've.

but seojun's okay, he's just sleeping, taking a much needed nap. jisung hurries over to his fellow 02 liner, peacefully lying on the floor with his head rested on his arms. he taps him lightly, not wanting to startle the older. "seojun".

"hm?" the response is silent, and seojun shifts in just the slightest, but he doesn't open his eyes. jisung frowns, shaking him by the arm. "what? what?" that seems to do the trick, because seojun rubs his eyes, finally sitting up and trying to shake off any tiredness. "oh— oh god hi, what time is it?"

seojun looks shaken, like he just got hit with the worst kind of realization imaginable. jisung usually never sees him like this, but he guesses it has to do with him being tired. so, he gives a small smile, rubbing seojun's shoulder softly. "hi, it's like.. ten, almost eleven".

the words make seojun's eyes widen, he looks terrified, like this time was horrible for him or something. "oh— oh my god i fell asleep i didn't even mean to.."

"hey it's fine" jisung reassures, placing both of his hands on seojun's shoulders. "you were just tired, you needed that sleep anyway".

it doesn't seem the words ease any of seojun's worries, cause the older just looks away, the look in his eyes telling jisung that this is a much more important thing to him than he thought. "did you eat today?" the maknae immediately blurts, making seojun snap his head towards him.

the question is the kind of question seojun always asks, the kind of question he asks every few hours to make sure jisung isn't skipping meals. seojun pauses, thinking about it.. or thinking about what to answer. "..yeah".

jisung narrows his eyes, that's a lie.

"seojun".

"what? i'm not lying!"

"when?"

seojun scoffs, turning around with crossed arms. jisung sighs, he knows he's stubborn himself, but seojun is even more stubborn, he'll never admit his lies even if he was being held at gunpoint. "stop nagging me.."

"i'm not nagging you i'm concerned for your well-being!" jisung whisper-yells, pulling seojun closer to him, as the older was scooting away. "i just need to make sure you're alright, i haven't seen you all day and.. your health is important to me, seojun".

the older blinks, as if registering the words in his mind. jisung suddenly feels his face burn, feeling seojun's eyes look him up and down. seojun snickers, playfully nudging the younger. "aww, thank you" seojun gives his best fake pout, over exaggerating it to tease jisung.

jisung just scoffs, lightly pushing seojun's shoulder. the older just laughs at his response, staying on the floor as jisung gets up, dusting off his pants. "come on".

seojun blinks, as if dumbfounded. "come on where?"

"were going to the convenience store, i'm getting you something" jisung tries his best to pull seojun up off the floor, even with how the older seemed adamant on staying down. he's finally able to lift seojun up, much to the dismay of the kang, who frowns.

"you don't have to get me anything" seojun mumbles, staring down at his own moving feet on the floor. "don't spend your money on me" he says, looking up at jisung with an indescribable look on his face.

jisung just shakes his head. "don't try to argue with me, your hungry, you'd do the same for me.."

the words make seojun go silent, and he removes jisung's grip from his arm, intertwining their fingers. he's.. not used to this, he's the one who does the taking care of, he's not the one whose usually taken care of.

seojun has spent so much of his time in this group just looking after jisung, and the maknae never knew how to thank him besides giving him a few small smiles and muttering awkward "thank you's". seojun never asked for anything in return, obviously, but jisung always felt like he never offered enough to seojun, even with how the older has always been looking after him, since the two of them entered sm entertainment.

then, seojun smiles, squeezing jisung's hand laced with his. "thank you" he replies, turning away from the younger with a flustered feeling he can't exactly explain.

jisung smiles seeing seojun smile. "it's nothing, really, it's the least i can do".

seojun doesn't respond to that, just squeezes his hand again.

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mxrcjqckspnchqsc · 1 month

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Hii i wanted to ask If you could also write for Steve and Nancy because i had a request where robin, Nancy and Steve (separately) comfort you after your best friend betrayed you and chose her other best friend over you for example how Cassie betrayed Maddy in Euphoria and that it really hurt and how they would support after when you're still not over it after 2 years

Still Hurts

A/N: hmmmm I'll write for them just this once since you included Robin in the requesttt(but if I were to add Steve and Nancy to the masterlist, would yall like that or?) Anwaysss PLEASE REQUEST SOMETHING GUYS I'M GETTING BORED

Also sorry this took like five hundred years but it's here now!

Summary: Read request above!

Steve Harrington

Steve never really knew how to comfort people since there was always no one there for comfort him when he was young but having real friends changed that, you changed that.

So when he found you crying over a polaroid of you and your ex-best friend, he rushed to your side and hugged you while you sobbed harder.

He would whisper sweet nothings in your ear, telling you everything would be okay despite you disagreeing.

"So stupid, so stupid." You cry as you stared at the polaroid of you two, how happy you looked and how well she faked it. Made you burn inside, how could anyone do this to someone else? Someone else that cared about them deeply and stab them in the back knowing the scar never seems to fade.

"It's not stupid," Steve whispers in your ear. Your cries and his whispers filled the room, it was silence everywhere else and that did not make you feel better. "I just miss her so much," you cried, even harder when you remembered the memories the two of you shared.

"And that's perfectly normal, alright?" Steve kissed the crown of your head as he reassured you. "It's gonna be okay, I just need you to believe that."

Nancy Wheeler

Nancy isn't the best at comforting people, well she wasn't until she met you. She tries so hard to be better at it when she met you, it became a goal. But when she saw you in tears in your living room, she almost broke down herself, it broke her heart seeing you this upset. And she was determined to find out why.

When she came closer to you, she saw you were holding a note. That was now filled with tears and barely readable. She was silently able to figure out the note was from your former best friend, it was written in curvise and nobody else wrote in cursive other than her.

She rushed to you and hugged you tight, even letting a few tears drop herself. She hugged you like it was the only thing she knew. She hugged you as if it was the last time she would ever be graced with your presence.

"It's okay it's okay," You felt Nancy's breath hit your ears. You hugged her back but not as tight or comforting but as if you would die if you were to ever let go.

"Will I ever be, Nance?" You asked as you wiped your eyes. "I don't know why I feel like this, it's been two years. Two damn years!" You exclaimed. Nancy hushed you, which made you cry even more.

"May not seem like it now but you will be, you will be. Okay?" Nancy tells you. "I promise."

Robin Buckley

Robin's heart shatters when she hears sniffles coming from your room. She opens the door, quietly. What she walked in on, she would have never expected it.

You were watching a vhs tape, it was of you and you ex-bsf. It seems to be a dance routine. 'So that's why you don't dance anymore,' Robin thought. You looked to be around eight in the tape which made Robin confused.

Robin went to your TV and took out the vhs tape which startles you as you looked up at her in confusion.

"Robin, what are you doing?" Before you could finish your question, Robin throws the vhs tape in the trash. "You don't need to be crying over that priss, I won't allow it."

"You can't control my emotions Rob, please go. I need to be alone right now." You tell her. Robin doesn't believe you, so she sits on the floor with you and hugs you. "No, you don't. You need someone more than ever right now."

You lean in Robin's side as she wipes your tears away. "Thanks." You mumbled. Robin gives you a kiss on the head as a reply. "Anytime baby, anytime."

Home. Masterlist. Rules. Tumblr. Tiktok. Wattpad.

#x gender neutral reader #stranger things #80s #robin buckley #eddie munson #dustin henderson #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #el hopper #robin buckley x reader #nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler x reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #jim hopper #joyce byers #jonathan byers #upside down #vecna

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laurensturniolo · 3 months

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Everything. - Matt X Fem!reader

sad reader

fight!

fluff/angst

enjoyyy! leave requests in the comments

~~~

Ok, I pissed him off.

Matt and I were just talking the other day until suddenly, he brought something up. “You know, y/n/bsf is kinda cute”. I just looked at him a little confused. “What did you say?” He just looks at me with a weird look.

“You heard me, she’s just kinda cute”

“Don’t say that Matt, we’re dating” I tell him, chuckling slightly.

His tone gets slightly more aggressive. “I just said she was cute, calm down”. I’m shocked. Why is he getting mad at me over this?

“Don’t tell me to calm down, you’re calling my best friend ‘cute’ and we’re dating, Matt! Do you not see the issue?” He looks angry now. “Y/n stop! You’re being so fucking dramatic!” He says, laughing sarcastically.

“I’m not being dramatic! Don’t call my best friend cu-“ I get cut off with him screaming in my face, “GOD HOW DO I PUT UP WITH YOU? YOU'RE SO ANNOYING BRO!” My expression drops. Seriously?

“ok sorry” I chuckle nervously. My body language changes and I feel almost numb. I am being dramatic but god, hearing it from your boyfriend is rough. Tears form in my eyes and I just stand there silently. Then finally, his facial expression changes. “O-oh my god baby. Y/n, I'm so sorry. You know I didn’t mea-“ “you didn’t mean it?! you didn’t mean to call my best friend cute and call me dramatic?” My tone is still aggressive as I’m about to cry. He just stands there silently. “I’m gonna go”, I say to his face, walking towards his bedroom door. “No wait!” I ignore him. I walk to the front door, put my shoes on, and leave the house. Suddenly, my tears fall as I walk to my car. I step in my car and just sob for a second until I finally feel like I can drive away.

Silence. Something I don’t get a lot of. I sit there in silence, driving back to my house with tears falling down heavily from my eyes. I can still hear his aggressive and loud tone he gave me. Maybe I am dramatic. No, I’m not… any girl would be mad about that, right?

Incoming call: matt ❤️

I look at my phone and realize that Matt's calling. I just cry harder. I can’t bring myself to answer the call. Everything in me knows exactly what he’s gonna say.

“Baby, I’m sorry. You know I love you so much. I’m sorry for what I said, cmon baby. Forgive me, please?”

The thought of those words makes my stomach hurt. I never wanna hear those words out of his mouth but especially not right now. I keep driving until suddenly, I’m finally home. I immediately get out of my car, unlock the front door, and run to my room. I cry more, god, maybe I am dramatic.

Incoming call (2): matt ❤️

This man is gonna drive me insane. I now feel obligated to answer it, so I take a deep breath and pick up my phone to answer his stupid call. His first words.

“Baby, I’m sorry.”

His words hit me like a brick. Is he sorry? Or does he just miss me? Even worse, does he miss me? Or does he just miss my body? I stay silent, waiting for him to talk again.

“You know I love you so much.”

Does he? I mean he just called my best friend cute a little while ago. Does he love me? Or does he just want me back to make me sound gullible. He keeps talking,

“I’m sorry for what I said, cmon baby.”

Sorry?! No way he’s “sorry”. He called my best friend cute, called me dramatic, called me annoying, etc. And he’s “sorry”?! And now he’s calling me baby again. Another tear falls silently as I listen to him speak one more time.

“Forgive me, please?”

I'm numb. What the fuck. Forgive him… for what? I mean in reality, what did he do? But in the same way, what did I do? I’m coming to realize neither of us really did anything wrong in the first place. But I can’t forgive him that easily.

“I can't just forgive you, Matt.” My voice is

shaky, he’s gonna notice i’m crying.

“Baby, are you crying?” His voice changes to concern. I don’t just wanna tell him “yea I

am”.

“Yes, Matt! Obviously I'm crying! You just yelled at me for just being a little jealous!” I raise my voice and my voice gets slightly shakier.

“Babygirl… I’m sorry. You know I am, baby. Just breathe. Take some deep breaths sweet girl.” God those fucking nicknames. I listen to him and take deep breaths. Suddenly, my brain goes quiet. Why was I even mad at him?

“I-I’m sorry Matt. I didn’t mean anything I did. I-I love you” His face softens. He grabs my chin softly and kisses me. I kiss back as tears stream from my eyes. He pulls away and wipes my eyes for me.

“Don’t cry sweetheart… shhhhh it’s okay. I love you so much,”

“you’re my everything”.

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #for you #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fluff

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heyimroe · 1 year

Text

Cheater!

Izana x fem!reader

Content: cursing, cheating, mentions of mental disorder

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Rin, where's Izana? Haven't seen him all day!" You pout to Rin as he slurps on his coffee. He puts the mug on his desk and shakes his head. "Haven't seen too. But I think he's fine," Rin says while staring at you storming off angrily. You thought to yourself, "where could he be?"

You sat in Izana's chair, thinking to yourself and scrolling on your phone mindlessly. Suddenly, Izana barged in, causing you to be startled. You noticed his messy hair and ruffled clothes quickly. "H-hey baby," he stammers, shutting the door and fixing his hair.

"What's wrong with your clothes babe?" You ask while getting up from the chair. "Where were you? I missed you!" You said while fixing his hair. "I was dealing with stuff, it doesn't matter." He muttered while sitting on his chair. "Are you tired? Maybe I can make you-"

You got cut off by him shouting at you, "I'm fine! Just go!" You were shocked at him screaming at you but left silently. As you close the door, your eyes start to water. Running to your car and locking the door, you started to weep. Your eyeliner running down your cheek.

Your false eyelashes falling from your eyelids. Pulling out the fake lashes and cleaning your makeup, you left the garage and came home. After a few hours, Izana came home and showered while you stirred the soup in the pot. When he came out, you were done eating and cooking.

But you left some food for him to eat. After he ate, he went to the sofa where you were watching a movie. He sat next to you and put an arm around you. " 'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have been so harsh on you," he mumbled. You put your head on his shoulder. "It's okay, I knew you were stressed."

After the movie, you both went to bed and kissed goodnight. The next day, you awoke to an empty bed and went to the kitchen where you found izana making coffee. "Hi, baby," you said softly whilst clinging onto his arm. "Hey," he replied, pouring the drink in the mug.

"I'm gonna go to the market later, want anything?" You asked calmly. He shook his head and kissed your cheek gently. You smiled and went to shower. You heard him open and close the door, indicating he went out already. After changing, you went to the market and bought some stuff.

*DING* *DING* *DING*

Went your phone. You hummed to yourself and opened the messages. It was your neighbor in the opposite building.

"Y/n, come home now!" sent at 1023hours

"Someone's in the house!" sent at 1023hours

"A car pulled up, come home!!!" sent just now

You quickly rushed out of the supermarket and drove home. Thoughts were racing through your mind, what will you find at home? A burglar? A raccoon? You don't know but you were prepared. You took your shotgun and unlocked your door.

"Freeze, dirtbag!" You yelled, you thought you were prepared. "Izana? BSF/N?!" You questioned. She was sitting on his cock, riding him naked with his hands on her ass. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" you screamed. "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE Y/N!! bsf/n shouted.

"CHEATER!" You yelled out loud. The neighbors were coming out to see what was going on. "GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" you screeched at them. They picked up their clothes and ran outside. Getting into bsf/n's car and driving away. You came out of the house and broke down.

Your neighbors quickly come to you and comforted you. You cried, wept and sobbed in their arms. Parents rushing children into their homes, hoping for them not to see you in this state.

"And did it end like that?" Your therapist asked.

You nodded while putting hair out of your face.

"Y/n, based on previous sessions, you have B!polar dis0rder.."

#tokyo revengers #tr izana #tokyo revengers izana #izana imagines #scenario #izana scenarios #imagines #izana x you #izana x reader #izana x y/n

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aanoia · 10 months

Text

Welcome to my drafts

This is something my brain came up with and I didn't wanna forget it so I wrote down. I usually don't post the idea part but I figured this would turn out to be a really long fic so I wanted to know if anyone would actually want to read this. Tell me in the comments if you do and if you'd like to be tagged in it when and if it eventually gets posted!!

Note: this is very VERY sloppy and disorganized as i wrote it down as quickly as possible to just get the idea out. There will not be proper spelling or grammar and use of shorter versions of sayings such as idk and ofc, etc. This is not how my actual fics are, I'd suggest viewing some of my other marauders fics, or just fics in general, to see if you like my writing style (gotta sprinkle in a little self promo ofc). I encourage you to share any other ideas as this is just a rough draft and open to change. Thank you and enjoy whatever this is.

Marauders Era y/n black goes into the future, comes across future Remus (love interest) who's like "who tf are you and why do you look y/n black when we were younger" and she's js like... what and then it clicks in his head bc he remembers when she time traveled and he takes her into his office and she makes fun of him for being a teacher then Harry walks into Lupins office and she's shocked at how much he looks like James and he recognizes her from an old picture he saw of his dad and his friends and is like "u look like one of my dads old bsfs, are you her daughter" and Remus is like "Yeah her name is y/n Jr., y/n is her mother blah blah blah blah" then Harry's like "maybe ur mom could tell me stories of my dad" and Remus is like "her mom disappeared when your parents died" and it shocks y/n bc James is dead and she's missing so she stumbles out of the office and is like "I'll let you guys talk privately" and she passes by students who are whispering and they mention Sirius blaxk and she's like, what abt him? And they hand her the news paper that says he escaped Azkaban and she like wtf so after she sees Harry walk out she storms in and is like "tell me everything that happened." And he's like "I'm assuming you know almost everything already" and she's like "what abt wormtail? Is Peter okay" and he tells her and then she asks abt regulus which breaks her heart and then she asks abt herself and he talks abt how she went missing after James and lily died. And then before she leaves she asks if he and her ever had something with each other and he raises his left hand where a wedding ring sits with a smile and she's like "we got married?" And he's like "Yeah it was a double wedding with James and lily" and she smiles and then leaves blah blah blah then she comes back with tears in her eyes and for the young marauders it had only been a second and they're like "You're back already! What happened, why are you crying?" And she just looks at them then starts walking to her dorm then Sirius grabs her arm and is like "y/n are you okay" and all she can imagine is his picture on the news paper and his crazed face and then she looks back to see James and she can't help but imagine him dead so she shakes off his arm and walks away.

Time skip to the present, y/n is with Bellatrix when Sirius died bc she "joined" the dark side but kept it super secret, not even Peter knew. When Sirius died she broke down to her knees and Bellatrix just left her and she sobbed and apologized to Sirius before he wisped away and he was like "ik ur intentions were pure" bc twin telepathy shit he knew why she joined and then Remus was kinda mad at her and was like "you knew, you knew everything that was gonna happen and yet you still join his side and now your brother is dead bc of u!" And she yells back "u think I wanted this !? You think i wanted my brother's to die?! My best friends? You think I wanted to leave you, my husband? No ofc i didn't but I spent years thinking of any possibility to stop the inevitable future and ik i told me not to but i couldnt help it and I figured the only way to stop it was from the inside, so when Peter got James killed and Sirius sent to Azkaban I knew I was too far in and had to disappear so you wouldn't get hurt too. Yk me better than ik myself y rly thought I would be cruel enough to join that bastard!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!?!?!?!?!!!!?!??!" Briefly ofc. Anyway they kiss and blah blah blah idk what else that's as far as I thought

#marauders era #aanoia #romance #james & peter & remus & sirius #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #james potter #sirius orion black #sirius black #peter pettigrew #sirius black sister

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trentskiiii · 2 years

Text

wyd now? - trent alexander arnold

finally a trent one😭 i didnt proof read this so sorry if there are any mistakes!

you and trent broke up a few months ago. you never kept in contact but you never stopped loving him. only when you realise how much you needed him, you decide to call him.

gif by @football-and-fanfics

you sat in your room. 9 weeks after the messy breakup but you still never moved on. he was the love of your life. a 5 year relationship.but you needed to let go. after all the negative comments about your relationship with him, you needed to leave. no matter how bad it hurt, you were afraid you were going to lose yourself. you received death threats, people commenting about your looks, and even creating rumours of you cheating so you two would breakup. you were able to cope with it for a while, but as trent became more busy, you were all by yourself. it ate you alive.

“babe, you have to call him. you need him. you’re even worse right now than in the relationship. just get the closure you need.” y/bsf/n said. she hugged you tightly before she left your apartment. her words lingered in your mind the whole day. was she right? what could go wrong? you wanted nothing more than trent in your arms again. you picked up your phone. his contact still pinned in your caller dial and still named “my love❤️”. tears began flowing out of your eyes as you reminisce all your memories. you wiped your tears with the sleeve of his faded t shirt. one that you’ve kept since forever. you clicked call as you heard it ring.

“y/n?”

his all too familiar voice heard. a million doubts ran through your mind. you realised you made a huge mistake.

“trent. im sorry, just forget i called. im so sorry” you said, sniffling. your voice strained, very obviously showing you had been crying.

“y/n, why are you crying? are you alright??” he asked worriedly.

“im fine, t. im really sorry. i didnt mean to disturb you.” you said shakily, about to end the call. but when you heard his voice again, you kept your phone held up to your ear.

“y/n, talk to me. you’re obviously not okay.”

“i miss you, trent. i miss all our memories. till this day, i remember, you said that by now we’d be painting the walls of our shared apartment. you’re still everything i want. a-a-and i hope we can work it out.” you blurted out. your voice still strained. tears falling down your cheeks as you spoke your mind.

“y/n, i miss you too. i miss your smile when i gave you all the roses. i loved every moment with you. i would change the world just for us to work out. but i just have to move on.” trent said, his voice breaking at the sound of your sobs.

“im sorry, y/n.” beep.

#england fc #trent alexander arnold #liverpool fc #liverpool #england football #wyd now?

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therhythmafterthesummer · 1 year

Note

Smkssn officially finished the Safe Heaven series sjsjksks

I am sobbing I literally started the series not even two days ago and I just know I'll miss the characters so much🥲(I'm already missing them) especially Sol, Wang Eun, Talboot and Freyja(and everyone else because I can't casually enjoy something I just have to get unhealthy attached)

The Epilogue it's so good I was getting so frustrated with Chan not questioning the humming like???? Man even if it was because you banged your head during the crash... Why don't you go and get it checked out sjsjsks anyway the ending was so cute and all their reactions at becoming parents/aunt/uncle😭😭😭 not the high king calling Chris channie and looking for his support I-(sobs)

Anyway thank you again for writing such amazing stories, your writing has because such a comfort of mine. I really think it's impossible for me too dislike something you write, the plot the details everything is always so perfect <3

I'll stop with my rant now hahaha

I hope you had an amazing day so far✨

🌞

LISTEN if there's one thing SH!Chris is going to do is Ignore His Problems JKDSHFKJSDFHJKDSF he deadass spent five months like "mmmmm... i might have a concussion... not my problem thoooo" lmao. i did write a drabble set between day 159 and the epilogue where he finally discusses the hum with the Queen. it's only on my ao3 acc though~

i too get super attached to the characters in stories, and my stories specifically... like, i love Sol SO much i even started to write a short story solely dedicated on him and his past. a story that only me and my bsf will ever read KJFHSDKJFHDSJKF (which reminds me i still need to finish the ending for that...)

anyway i'm glad you enjoyed it !! and i'm super duper flattered that you find comfort in my pieces. means the world to me💜

#🌞 anon #ask #safe haven my beloved

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arandomaquarius · 6 months

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VENT THERE ARE SO MANY TRIGGER WARNINGS I CAN’T OUT THEM DOWN RIGHT NOW MIGHT EDIT IT LATER IDK

it got worse it got so much worse my brother has an anxiety disorder but he reacts with anger and takes it out on me and we have dogs so I told him they were whining because they need love and attention something he was not providing and as usual he tells me to shut up but I stood my ground and said no and kept saying no and he threatened to throw something at me but I said “no” I didn’t think he would actually do it he missed but he threw a plastic Tupperware at me containing our mom’s cupcake and it fell on the floor and I was feeling kind of pissy and brave so I said something stupid I said “now look what you did mom was going to eat that” and he got pissy and said “no she wasn’t” and I handled everything wrong

I deserve this I deserve this why couldn’t I just let things go I deserve this I did this to myself and my dad knows it because he’s yelling at us telling us to “stop acting like infants” and god I screamed so loud when I thought my brother was knocking on my door I was so terrified I hate it here I’m scared to leave my room I’m scared to go home when I leave and I feel bad for my bsf who had to help calm me down from my panic attack while I was screaming and sobbing and probably overreacting because I hear that I do that a lot and I can’t tell what’s a big deal and what isn’t but at least my brother didn’t hit me or pretend to hit me and at least he missed and at least he only threw a Tupperware

#arandomaquarius #vent post #tw panic attack #tw family #family fights #family issues #family is hell #brother issues #tw trauma #i cant do this #i hate it here #this isn’t a home it’s just a house full of angry and fucked up people #tw swearing

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lust4liyah · 10 months

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i need u all to hear me out on this pls pls pls pls pls pls pls

not proofread! contains; chubby!fem! reader, unprotected sex, age gap like rlly big too, praise, rlly soft sex.

dad's bsf! miguel who always calls you kiddie names like 'little bug' and 'niñita' whenever you greet him at the door, only to be met with big pouts and crossed arms while you yell '''m not a kid anymore, miguel! 'm twenty one now!' he never takes you seriously despite this. just pats your head with a deep chuckle rumbling from his chest.

dad's bsf! miguel who insists on driving you home after your classes end. you tell him 'it's okay! i live on campus!' but no matter how much you try to convince him you were okay with walking, he ends up taking you any because 'little bugs like you can't walk out here alone', though a part of him knows that's an excuse.

dad's bsf! miguel who can't put a tie on correctly for the life of him. you always get irritated when you see his messy tie before he leaves with your dad for a night of partying. 'you're just like dad!' you tell him. you always tug him down by his tie, your cute chubby hands working on the tie while miguel looked down at you with a smile, ignoring your annoyed grumbles.

dad's bsf! miguel who always insists that your father should go easy on you when you two get into a small fight. 'she's still a baby girl, compa. be easy on her'. he says with kind eyes as he watches you sniffle in the hallway. 'she's twenty one with car payments due, miguel, my god'. despite your father's scolding, you know you can always count on mr. o'hara to comfort you.

dad's bsf! miguel who can't say no to you. his best friend tells him that you're older now, he doesn't need to approve everything you do. miguel tells his best friend that he knows and he'll do better, but he can't help it when you bat your eyelashes so prettily at him and ask him for things in your sweet, honey voice. 'please, mr. o'hara?'

dad's bsf! miguel who spoils you. and i mean spoils you. you want a new phone? you got it, just don't tell your dad. you need a ride to sneak out somewhere? okay, just don't tell your dad. you want that new bathing suit at the mall? sure, just show mister o'hara what it looks like first. that's not weird! he wants to make sure it's a material good enough for you.

dad's bsf! miguel who always scolds you when you wear revealing clothing. 'it's just not appropriate' he tells you as he gazes a bit too long at your tummy sticking out from the cropped long sleeve you were wearing. 'why do you care?' you roll your eyes. the words 'you're not my dad' fly out of your mouth as you shove him aside to leave with your friends. he always watches your hips sway as you walk out.

dad's bsf! miguel who comforts you after a big breakup. fat tears roll down your cheeks as you sobbed in miguel's chest, him holding you up on his lap with a sympathetic look in his eye. 'i loved him s'much!' you cried as you shifted in miguel's lap to hold onto him better. he winces, and you think it's because his leg fell asleep, but you couldn't be more wrong. miguel bumped his leg up 'n' down as he soothed you. 'he's stupid, doesn't know what he's missing out on, niñita'.

dad's bsf! miguel who spends days with you after the fact to make you feel better. he's around every day with the excuse of helping around the house to your father when in reality he sneaks away into your room comforting you and laughing at stupid movies while you were cuddled up against his chest.

dad's bsf! miguel who finds you dancing around on the streets drunk with your friends. you’re crying and laughing at the same time while your friends tried to calm you down, concerning miguel, so he decided to let the other poor girls go home while he dealt with you. he laid a warm, comforting hand on the chub of your thigh as you cried, not knowing how hot it made you feel.

dad's bsf! miguel who gets whiplash when you confess that you like him. like, like him. you're drunk and your words are slurred but he can still make out your shaky-voiced confession of 'always imagined you when he fucked me, mr. o'hara'. even though he felt the same, you were still his best friend's daughter, plus you were drunk. he takes you to his house and tucks you into his bed while he lies awake on his couch contemplating what the hell just happened.

dad's bsf! miguel who wakes up to you in one of his shirts, one he had left out for you the night before. you stood in front of his place on the couch, twiddling your fingers and muttering a small, slightly teary-eyed apology.

dad's bsf! miguel who consoles you with an embrace as you embarrassingly admit everything you said was true. he tells you 'it's okay, little bug' and 'there's nothing to be embarrassed about'. when you cry and tell him that you were sorry and that you know he didn't feel the same, his heart aches a bit. of course he feels the same, don't feel bad! he doesn't know what possesses him to do so, but he leans in and kisses you. it's sweet and short, but you return it.

dad's bsf! miguel who holds you tight while he kisses you, his hips snapping as he drills into your cunt, his eyes shut tight in bliss. 'love you, love you so much, niñita. love you 'n' this pussy'. he muttered into your ear. you sniffled and nodded in a daze as you held him tighter, your breasts pressed up against him. he held your soft sides and groaned as he felt the tip of his cock hit your cervix.

'been wantin' you for so long, little bug. wanting to give mi niña what she deserves'. he sucked in air through his teeth as he felt your soft hand against his cheek. he opened his eyes, making eye contact with you through the small tears in his eyes forming. you gave him a shaky smile, giving him a small peck with a giggle.

the moment was so intimate it made miguel feel warm. he returned the smile and watched as you bit your lip. 'i love you, mr. o'hara'. you whispered to him, your walls tightening around his cock. miguel let out a broken moan, his eyes still focused on you.

'i love you too, little bug'.

this was a bit much but i hope u enjoyed!! i wrote this during class while stressing about a test so i apologize if this lacked but yea ;P

#tw age gap #miguel o’hara x reader smut #✧ ― liyah's loves #atsv smut #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara smut #chubby reader #miguel o’hara x reader #i love making the reader a crybaby its just so me #i wrote this in mind of miguel being in his thirties or fourties #dbf! miguel

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red-airhead · 10 months

Text

𝓘𝓯 𝓞𝓷𝓵𝔂 | 𝓛𝓮𝓮 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓱𝓸 |

Masterlist

word count - 2,380

genre - angst, hurt, fluffy ending

warnings - mutual pining, bsf! lee minho, bsf! reader, emotional minho, a lot of emotions, reader is exessively worried about minho, lots of denial, panic attacks with minho, gn terms, afab! reader, kissing, cuddling implied, lmk if I missed anything.

super fucking iffy on the ending like it didn't feel enough-

It was very often that Minho knew how to express his feelings with plenty of things, so what made it so difficult to be so straightforward about his feelings towards his best friend Y/N? Was it the many long years they spent together being best friends without having a thought of asking each other out? Was it the fact that Y/N had been through too many shitty relationship’s that he’d fear of fucking up and losing it with them too? He certainly felt conflicted and had no clue what to do at this point. Y/N was probably the closest thing he had to him and he wasn’t ready to lose that. He wasn’t ready to lose the one thing that actually taught him life and made him feel comfortable for once in the damned life he had.

Minho had begun distancing himself. That was a week ago.

He felt dramatic, and felt ridiculous that he couldn’t be honest about his feelings, especially with the person he loved the most. Here he was, stuck at home with thousands of thoughts racing in his mind. Truly he didn’t know what to do, with them blowing up his phone and his roommates knocking on the door and peeping in, only to find Minho in a state of panic. Slowly but surely all of them had grouped into his room, worry laced in their expressions more than ever.

“Minho hyung, is something the matter?” Felix asked, kneeling down in front of Minho’s bed, a hand gently placed on his knee as he examined his roommate's expression. Everyone else tried to keep their distance in worry that Minho would lash out suddenly and yell, but they knew that Felix could at least make a slight breakthrough.

“I don’t know, you tell me. Do you hear my phone ringing over and over again? How much longer can I keep ignoring them? Ignoring these damned feelings that I can’t even tell them. What the hell is wrong with me I don’t understand��” his own hands pulled at his hair, tears brimming from confusion and frustration. It only took a matter of seconds for Jisung to pick up Minho’s phone and look at all the texts and missed calls from Y/N.

“Did you and Y/N get into an argument? What happened?” Jisung questioned, sitting next to Minho and pulling his hands away from his head, and holding them in his hands. If there was one other person that was his best friend, it was Jisung, “You can tell us, you know.. You don’t have to hold it in.” Looking at Jisung was what caused Minho to burst and actually let the tears flow with a single sob. It was shocking to all of the others that Minho was crying right in front of them, knowing full well Minho never cries in front of them, “Fuck.. I Don’t know what– I don’t– Damn it..” Soon enough he was hiding in Jisung’s chest, practically death gripping the back of his shirt with soft whimpers and sobs.

Silence filled the room for a little while, and the only thing heard were what Minho would call pathetic cries of desperation. And truly, it had been a while since he had a good cry, but there wasn’t much he could do since he let the rubber band snap. A frantic knock was soon heard at the door, which caused all of them to jump.

“Stay here, I’ll go see who it is.” Seungmin offered, standing up from the floor and walking out of Minho’s room, closing the door behind him in case it was some random person with a delivery or something. Still though, the room was filled with soft cries from Minho and soft reassuring, and soothing coos from Jisung. It was devastating for all of the younger ones to see their hyung in such a state, but the most they could all do was be there for him.

“You wanna tell us what happened? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, we just want to make sure you’re okay y’know?” Chan had explained, walking over and sitting on the other side of Minho, rubbing circles on his back as they all stayed quiet. It was only a few moments after that Minho’s whimpers and sobs cleared up, but it was still difficult for him to form words without hiccuping between.

“I-I– I don’t know–.. I don’t know what happened I just- I think something happ-happened and now there's… I don’t know..” His hands were trembling, and it was noticeable that he was heavily staring at them. Heavy breathing filled the room for a moment before he started to speak again after a thick swallow of his own saliva, “I think– I think I fell for them.. A-And now all I can do– Is-Is just cry and– FUCK!”

Minho had made a heavy impact with his fist to his thigh, tears forming once again. Chan quickly took that into thought and pulled him back in for yet another comforting session, “It’s okay Min, we're here for you. I know that it probably doesn’t help, but the most we can do is talk to you and help. Can you let us do that?” And with a quick reply of a head shake no, Chan sighed with a frown.

Noises of a struggle were heard outside of Minho’s bedroom door, a couple of thuds and “I need to see him god damn it! Move!” And with another loud thud and a quick couple of desperate “Let go’s!” and “No’s” the door opened to reveal a very worn out Seungmin and a disheveled, desperate, worried, and upset looking Y/N came through the door.

“Holy shit she is strong..” Seungmin breathed out heavily before laying on the floor in defeat. All eye’s were now on Y/N besides Minho’s. All the members seemed to be in shock just before Jisung looked over at Minho’s phone, seeing the latest text had stated they were coming to see him.

“Minnie! Min, darling, are you-” “Stop. What are you doing here..” Y/N was immediately cut off by a very frustrated looking Hyunjin, which caused them to swallow thickly. What was going on?

“I-I wanted to see Min.. He wasn’t– hasn’t.. He hasn’t been answering his phone for the past week. I've been worried about him..” Y/N confessed, looking at Minho who had his face buried in Chan’s plain black hoodie, desperately clinging to it.

Hyunjin looked at Y/N for a little longer before returning his gaze to Minho. Y/N didn’t know what was going on, or why Hyunjin acted so cold, or why Minho hadn’t been answering his phone. “Please,, tell me what’s going on..”

Silence was greeted to Y/N because none of them wanted to explain the words Minho had said the moment before. There was evident hurt in their eyes and everyone could see it, “God damn it!! Tell me what the hell is going on and why Minho is crying..!” They basically shouted, causing Minho to whimper and hide even more.

“We can’t tell you.. Not because Minho wants to hide it but because it’s not something we should tell you. I think he’d rather say it.” Jisung explained, walking up to Y/N with a saddened expression, “We all hate seeing Minho like this, I know you definitely despise it.. But we need to give him space first.. Is that okay?” And with that, Y/N reluctantly agreed.

“Can I stay the night at least? Sleep on the couch?” Y/N asked, and a silent nod was exchanged to Y/N from Chan. They often used Minho’s clothes when they stayed the night, so they silently grabbed a shirt and a pair of sweatpants and walked out to set them on the side table for now. After that Y/N waited in the living room for the others, keeping quiet.

Minho looked at Chan, sniffling and wiping the wet away from his face, “What do I do Hyung? I can’t hide from them forever..” He muttered, bloodshot eyes and puffy lips being noticeable on his facial features. It broke Chan seeing Minho like this, and it broke the others to know that this was the reason he was crying.

“You need to tell them.. And soon, because I don’t know how long you’ll be able to stand being cooped up at home and without them. We’ll be watching from the sidelines okay? You can do it..”

“But What if-” “You can. We all know that Y/N loves you unconditionally no matter if you have feelings for them or not. Otherwise they wouldn’t have come all this way to check up on you.” Seungmin cut him off after recovering from that ridiculous hold back.

Minho nodded, clearing his throat and now sitting awkwardly on his bed, “Can you all go now while I… Take a moment?” He muttered, and reluctantly everyone left, but they didn’t hesitate to give him a side hug before walking out.

----------------

It had been a couple of hours after the whole situation. Y/N was sat on the couch, completely zoned out with earbuds in as they waited for Minho to come out of his room, or even invite them to his room. It felt so painfully long that they didn’t know how long that it would be before they lost their sanity.

“Look, Y/N, I’m sure that he’ll come out eventually.. I know you're worried sick but you gotta understand this was the first time he’s cried in front of any of us.” Felix reassured, and all they could do was look at Felix with the same expression that they’ve had since they got there. Worried and desperate for answers.

“Felix.. I don’t think you understand.. I don’t think you know how absolutely worried I am about him. He’s never been like this, and he’s never distanced himself, it’s to the point I don’t even know what’ll happen after he talks to me again. I’m horrified that he’s going to leave me behind and I can’t deal with that..” They explained, hands squeezing at what is presumed to be Minho’s stolen hoodie from a month ago.

“Yes but-” “Y/N? You’re still here?” Minho had finally come out of his room, looking a little better than before but his hair seemed messy beyond belief. He probably took a nap, which isn’t surprising.

“Minnie..” Y/N almost nearly cried from seeing him, tears welling up before they quickly blinked them away. “Can you come with me to my room.. Please?” Minho asked nervously, hands hidden behind his back. He was so nervous, but for what? Of course you have to understand. You’re his best friend.

It was a silent walk down the hallway, feeling eyes on the both of you. Once you entered his bedroom with the door fully closed, Y/N had sat on the bed with Minho following and sitting beside them. “What’s going on, Minho..” They asked immediately, head turned to face him with glassy eyes looking at him.

“Y/N I–” Minho paused, a shaky sigh escaping past his lips as he gripped the bed sheets, eyes scanning every inch of their face. You were so beautiful even on the verge of tears. Cheeks slightly rosy, eyes lost and confused yet they still looked beautiful, brows furrowed as if you were going to burst, and your lips.. Those damned lips he dreamed about kissing for months on end.

“Fuck this is hard to say..” “Then forget everything and let it go.” Minho’s newly lowered head snapped up immediately to see a new expression on their face. That expression before seemed to have softened, and your eyes were still glassy yet they held worry.

“Y/N I think I fell in love with you.. And it’s been so hard to tell you because I’ve been so worried about ruining everything we have and I– I truly can’t live without you. You as my partner or just as a best friend.” Minho confessed, eyes now just as glassy as yours, brimming with tears as he held back a sob.

“MIn… Oh Minnie..” Y/N finally let the tears spill, a sob releasing from them before practically lunging onto him, embracing him as tightly as they could with sniffles and soft sobs. Now the roles have reversed.

“Y/N–” “Min you’re an asshole.. And as much as I love you, I seriously want to beat your damned ass.. I really thought I did something wrong..” Y/N muttered, the two of them embracing each other for the first time in a week.

“No you would have never done something wrong.. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest..” Minho muttered, sniffling once more and pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of their head, “I didn’t want to tell you, I’m so scared that everything is gonna fall apart now, and I feel like I fucked up..” “Minnie you can never fuck up when you’re with me.. Fuck, you are absolutely too perfect to fuck up.. Min I love you so much..” Y/N whimpered, lifting their head and cupping his cheeks, looking for any signs of hesitation before pulling him into a much needed and passionate kiss.

If cats could talk then all of his dreams could come true, but right now, the one that was coming true was that he was finally kissing Y/N, and that they too, loved him back. What felt like only mere seconds actually turned into minutes of sweet kisses and pecks all over his face.

“Okay, okay.. Calm down..” “No, you owe me so much it’s unbelievable..” Minho couldn’t help but laugh, falling backwards so they could lay down.

“You are everything and more to me Y/N.. I really am sorry that I hadn’t been honest with you about my feelings.. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Well you didn’t lose me, did you? You only just enhanced what we have and now you’re stuck with me foreverrr!” They giggled before rolling ontop of Minho and snuggling into his chest.

Moments like these can feel like they last eternity, so why not cherish it with the person he loves most?

#stray kids #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids comfort #stray kids fluff #lee minho #lee minho fluff #lee minho angst #lee minho hurt #lee minho comfort #lee minho smut #ot8 #Spotify

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