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stargazer-sims · 8 months

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Journal Entry #54

Journal Entry #53 // STORY INDEX

Victor

Hey, everyone.

I wanted to record something tonight to tell you that Yuri and I are okay. My last entry was kind of raw, and both of us were struggling really bad, so I figured it was only right to let you know that we came out the other side of that situation. Yuri fared worse than I did, but he's still here and that is what's important.

I'm gonna be honest, it's been a tough few days. Yuri stopped eating again, and I'm really worried he's going to end up back in the hospital if he doesn't get something more than water and soy milk into him soon. It's been doubly stressful because Fox somehow got the idea that it was his fault, and I've had to deal with that too.

The small bit of good news was that Fox understood when I explained to him that Yuri refusing to eat isn't a new thing, and it had nothing to do with him. He seemed reluctant to come back after that, though, and although I tried to encourage him to stick with us a bit longer, ultimately I told him it was fine if he didn't want to.

With one hand free, I'm able to cook, feed myself and do the majority of my own personal care, so I'm not dependent on someone else now. Yuri can at least get out of bed and take himself to the bathroom, so that's no longer an issue either. Some of the housecleaning is still a bit much for me to manage on my own, but I reasoned that the world wouldn't end if the laundry didn't get folded or the kitchen floor didn't get swept every day.

After talking it over, Fox agreed that he'd still come by every couple of days to help me do household chores, but he said he didn't want to look after Yuri any more. I wasn't happy about it, since I think Yuri still needs help maintaining his full personal care routine, but what could I do? I had to acknowledge what Fox wanted.

That might've been the end of the matter for me if Yuri hadn't acted so obviously relieved when he found out Fox wasn't going to be taking care of him any more. If I hadn’t known better, I might’ve thought something bad happened between them, but I knew Fox had been extremely careful. He never touched Yuri in any way without asking first, and he handled him like glass when he did. Sure, they’d had their disputes over food and eating, but Yuri is just as difficult at mealtimes with me and with his parents, so I didn’t see how that'd be any worse with Fox.

From what I observed, Fox had been giving maximum effort, and Yuri hadn't been making it easy for him. And yeah, I get that Yuri's in physical pain and that he's going through a lot psychologically, and I know that makes him frustrated and irritable, but I didn't think it was okay for him to take it out on Fox. I especially didn't think it was okay for him to play on Fox's insecurities. I mean, that poor guy hasn't had an easy life himself. He deserves to be built up instead of being torn down for a change.

Seriously, you guys have no idea how much I wanted to call Yuri out on that, right then and there. I'll concede that I let him get away with a lot, but I love him, and I've learned that love is just as much about helping your loved one learn and grow as it is about all the warm, fuzzy stuff. Sometimes growth is hard, and it might not feel like progress at all when you're going through it, but the end result is usually worth it.

My Grandpa Michael says love is like growing roses. You might not want to cut them back, but pruning them actually helps them get stronger. He says you've got to be careful, 'cause you also have to know when to prune them and how much to cut. And I mean, Grandpa Michael should know. He was married to my grandmother for over forty years, until she passed away, and you don't get that far without understanding what love is. Also, they grew the most gorgeous roses in Brindleton Bay together, and Grandpa Michael still tends them and refers to them as "Lydia's roses".

I haven't seen my grandfather or any of my relatives in Brindleton Bay for over two years, but I know I'll at least see Grandpa at Mom and Julian's wedding. I think he loves my mom as if she's his own daughter, and he stayed close with her and me after my dad and sister passed. At this point, none of us could imagine him not being a part of our lives and being there for all our major life events.

After the wedding, I might go back to the Bay with him for a visit. It'd be nice to spend some one-on-one time with him. We could geek out about sports, do all kinds of fancy cooking, and probably spend hours at the local fitness center. I'm sure there's a lot of maintenance work I could help him do around his place as well. Really, I just want to hang out with somebody who gets me on a fundamental level, and to take a break from all my regular responsibilities.

Oh, and maybe this is kinda off-topic, but in case you're curious, Grandpa Michael isn't my only surviving grandparent. My other set of grandparents, Isabella and Giancarlo DeLuca, are both alive and doing well. They moved back to Tartosa the summer Leo and I graduated from college, so about four years ago now. According to Nonna Isabella, they wanted to spend their golden years in the place where their lives began, which made a lot of sense to me. They immigrated a long time ago, and all their kids — my mom, Uncle Stephen and Uncle JP — were born in Canada, but although they built a life in Willow Creek and are naturalized Canadians now, I'm sure their hearts will always be Italian.

Ugh...yeah. Sorry for getting off-track there. I'm really tired, and I guess you guys have figured out by now that it's harder for me to concentrate and stay focused when I'm like this.

Anyway, back to what I was originally trying to tell you. You might be impressed to hear that I managed to hold back from lecturing Yuri about how he'd been treating Fox. If I'd confronted him about it right away, we would've ended up in an argument. I didn't think he could spare the energy to fight with me, and I can tell you that I certainly didn't have the wherewithal to argue with him. Since discretion is the better part of valour, as they say, I opted to wait for a more appropriate moment.

As it happened, however, my appropriate moment never came because his mother got to him before I did.

Mrs. Okamoto dropped in unexpectedly yesterday afternoon with some sort of soup she'd made for us, and the first thing she said after greeting me was, "Where's your friend? Is he upstairs with Yuri?"

"Um... no," I said, hesitant to tell her too much, but also not wanting to keep the truth from her. "Fox isn't here. He, um... the arrangement wasn't working out for him."

I should've known better than to hope my mother-in-law would let it go at that. "What do you mean, the arrangement wasn't working out? And didn't any of you think it would have been a good idea to tell me or Kenji that the situation had changed? It's not as if one of us hasn't been here with you every night."

"I thought Yuri was going to tell you," I said.

"Why would you think he'd take responsibility for telling us?"

"Uh... because... Like, I don't think Fox was comfortable, and Yuri wasn't very, um... diplomatic? He was sort of feeling like... uncharitable? But, I mean, if I realized he wasn't going to tell you, I would have. It was just—"

She must've noticed that I was getting flustered, because her demeanour softened a little. "No, it's all right," she said. "You're very responsible, and I know you would've told us if you didn't think we already knew."

"Sorry," I said. "I guess I should've told you anyway."

"Perhaps, but it doesn't matter now. At the moment, I'm less interested in who told me about it than I am in why it happened in the first place. Was there a problem?"

"Not from where I was standing," I said. "Fox was doing amazing, as far as I could see."

"Hmm..." was her response. "Well then, I suppose I'll have to ask Yuri about it, won't I?"

I can't say I was overjoyed when I imagined how that would go, and I questioned whether or not Yuri would even tell her the truth. I had a bad feeling he'd try to blame it on Fox when it was unequivocally not Fox's fault, and let me tell you, I definitely wouldn't have been pleased if he had done.

On the pretext of listening to an audiobook in my room, I followed my mother-in-law upstairs when she went up to talk to Yuri. I put my earbuds in, got my phone out of my pocket and laid down on my bed, but I'm sure you've probably already guessed that I didn't actually open up my audiobook app to play anything. As rude as it is to eavesdrop, I'm not even going to pretend I wasn't intending to do it. I totally was, because I wanted to see if Yuri would admit to his mother why he didn't want Fox here any more.

I eased one earbud out of my ear far enough so that it wasn't blocking sound but so it still looked like I was using it. Sneaky? Yes, but it was effective. I discovered that if I lay with my head facing the open door and didn't move around too much, I could hear most of what Yuri and his mother were saying.

They started with small talk, and I wondered if maybe she wasn't going to bring up the subject after all. But then she must've seen her opportunity when he asked her if she was planning to stay with us for the rest of the day and overnight.

I should explain, she and Mr. Okamoto have been taking turns spending the night with us since Mom and Julian and Uncle Kaz left, and they don't usually come until seven or eight in the evening. Fox would usually leave around five o'clock so he'd have time to help make dinner at home, which meant he rarely crossed paths with Yuri's parents.

"No," Mrs. Okamoto said, in response to Yuri's question. "I need to collect Yuki from school and drop her off at your grandmother's house, and then I've got to go back to the school for a parent-teacher conference. Your father's in Kyoto with Hana for a medical appointment today, but he'll be coming to stay with you when he gets back."

That was news. I didn't realize Hana was on speaking terms with her father, much less that she'd want him to accompany her to a doctor's appointment. Then again, Hana's getting really close to her due date, and maybe he insisted on going with her because he didn't want her driving. Whatever it was, I filed that bit of information away in my brain on the chance that it became relevant later.

"Oh. I was hoping it'd be you," Yuri was saying. "I wanted you to help me wash my hair. Papa always makes such a mess. He's not very good at cleaning up, and I don't want Victor to have to mop the floor. That's still too hard for him."

"I would've thought washing your hair was something your friend Fox could help you with," Mrs. Okamoto said, and the words rolled off her tongue as innocently as if she knew nothing whatsoever about Fox's sudden departure. "I'm surprised he's not here today."

"He's not coming back," Yuri said. "And he's not my friend."

"Oh?" Mrs. Okamoto contrived to sound suitably curious. "Why isn't he coming back?"

"Because Victor told him I didn't want him to."

That was a twist I hadn't seen coming. It was Fox's decision not to come back, and although It was fairly clear Yuri hadn't wanted him here and was glad to be rid of him, I hadn't expected him to tell his mother I’d said or done anything to facilitate it. He sounded so proud of it too, like he was boasting about how I'd saved him from some horrible fate. Not that I wouldn't have protected him if there really had been any risk, but that's not how it happened at all.

The way Yuri was recounting it to his mother was such a gross misrepresentation of the situation that it was all I could do to make myself stay in place and not run across the hall to interrupt. But then I remembered I'd already mentioned to Mrs. Okamoto that Fox hadn't been comfortable staying. She's a smart lady, and I admonished myself that I should trust her. She'd draw the correct inferences.

She didn't disappoint me. “Yuri, are you certain it was Victor who told him?”

“I wasn’t there when they talked," Yuri replied.

"So, you don't know that Victor asked him to leave."

"Yes I do, because Victor always makes sure I'm safe."

"I see," Mrs. Okamoto said. "So, am I to assume you were unsafe with that young man here?"

"Yes," he said.

"Did he physically hurt you, or touch you inappropriately?" she asked. "Was he unkind to you?"

There was a long silence, and it was killing me that I couldn’t see what was going on over there. Unless there was something Yuri hadn't revealed to me, the answer I was expecting to hear was 'no'.

After a minute, I caught a weak and tearful-sounding, "No, but..."

"But what?" Mrs. Okamoto prompted.

"He made me feel so awful," Yuri said. He sniffled loudly enough for me to hear it from my room, and I imagined him scrubbing tears away from his eyes with the heels of his palms, just like a toddler would do. Sometimes I find it cute when he does that, but in these circumstances? Not cute at all. "He said I need to try harder, and he wouldn't listen to me when I said I couldn't do things, and... and he was treating me like a child."

"Were you behaving like a child?"

"I don't do that."

"No stubbornness, then? No pouting or temper outbursts?"

"I don't—"

Mrs. Okamoto's next words weren't spoken in a mean way, but there was also no mistaking that she wasn't impressed with her son's attitude. "A little self-awareness wouldn't go amiss here, I think."

"Excuse me? Are you... are you implying I'm immature?" I could already hear the outrage starting to build in Yuri's voice, even though his tears. "You don't even—"

"Yuri," his mother cut him off. In the two simple syllables of his name, her tone conveyed everything; she wanted the truth and she was not having any of his nonsense today. I could easily picture her wielding that same authority in a business meeting when somebody was about to go off on a baseless rant about something. "Mature people don't throw tantrums or manipulate others as a means to an end. They communicate their needs and concerns clearly and honestly. Do you think you can do that?"

"So, you're going to treat me like a child too?"

"If you insist on behaving in that manner, yes," she said mildly. "You know what Papa says. People tend to address others according to the level of maturity they display."

Yuri made a sound of frustration. "If you aren't going to at least try to have some empathy, can you please leave? I don't need any more stress. Is that clear and honest enough?"

There was another pause, and then Mrs. Okamoto said, "I love you. From the moment I found out I was having you, I loved you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything else, and every time I think about you hurting in any way, it hurts me as well. But, I'm your mother. My purpose isn't only to love you. It's also to teach you."

"Teach me what? That I'm dishonest and immature and not self-aware enough?" "

"Yuri—"

"You might as well just say it. Is you goal to teach me I'm a terrible son and a useless failure as an adult? Then congratulations, I suppose, because you've absolutely done that."

"Okamoto Yuri, I did not come here to be disrespected by you," Mrs. Okamoto said, and no joke, I felt a little scared despite the fact that she wasn't talking to me and that I couldn't even see her.

Like, you know you've crossed a line when your mom starts using your whole name. Usually, my mom would be screaming it, often loud enough to be heard at Leo's house, four doors down the street from ours. Victor Thomas Edward Nelson, if you don't get your butt back here in five minutes, you're in big trouble!

It was the same with Aunt Millie. Leo said he knew he was gonna be toast when his mom started busting out "Leonardo Stephen DeLuca!" with enough volume to be heard from my backyard. We used to tell Ellie she didn't know how good she had it. None of us has ever heard Julian raise his voice for anything, let alone to shout Ellie's full name over half of Willow Creek.

But as much as I dislike it when my mom yells, I think if I had to pick, I'd rather have the yelling than the calm, firm voice Mrs. Okamoto was using on Yuri. It was like steel wrapped in velvet, and I'm pretty sure me and Leo would've been terrified if Mom or Aunt Millie had spoken to us like that when we were in trouble.

I half expected Yuri to apologize immediately. It's what I would've done. I probably would've been on the floor, bowing to her and addressing her as Okamoto-sama, and begging her to forgive me. We've been getting to know each other lately, and I feel like we’ve been warming to each other a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm not still afraid of her.

Yuri, apparently, did not share my sentiment.

I could tell he was still crying, but that didn't stop him from sounding as if he believed he had the stronger position. "Interesting, because I wouldn't have thought you'd come here to disrespect me in my own house."

I physically cringed at that, not just because Mrs. Okamoto's reaction was likely to be unpleasant, but also because I had no problem imagining a response with the exact same delivery coming out of Mr. Okamoto's mouth. For all Yuri's insistence that he's nothing like his dad, he kinda is, which maybe proves the theory of nature over nurture.

Part of me wanted to stop listening at that point, and I almost turned on my audiobook for real, but another part of me was drawn to the drama across the hallway.

"If you think honesty is disrespect," Mrs. Okamoto said, "then I'm afraid you've still got some things to learn."

"There's a difference between being honest and being hurtful."

"Yes, there is," she agreed. "The difference is in how you react. If someone else's honesty hurts you, then you ought to ask yourself why that is. If the truth hurts, it's usually because we don't want to admit something about ourselves."

"I don't want to have this conversation," Yuri said.

"Well, I certainly can't force you to," said his mother. "But, if you don't want to talk to me, perhaps you can discuss it with your father instead. He had to learn that lesson too, and it took nearly losing the people he loves most before he accepted it. Maybe his perspective would be more convincing."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that I might've stayed in America with your uncle if it hadn't been for Victor's accident."

He sounded incredulous. "You came back for Victor?"

"I came back for you," she said. "Because I thought you might need me. But, what I'm saying is that when I left last autumn, I had absolutely no intention of returning. Or at least not until your father came to his senses."

"Came to his senses about what, exactly?"

"Came to his senses and realized that he was harming himself and everyone around him," she said. "He was trying to build a wall around himself because he seemed to think it was a way of protecting everyone, but he was still getting hurt and all he really accomplished was to push everyone else away."

"What's that got to do with me?" Yuri said.

"It has everything to do with you."

"How?" Yuri asked.

"Papa was scared and angry and frustrated about things in his life, but instead of talking about it, he was behaving like a child and taking it out on the people he should've trusted to help him get through it," she answered. "He was upset because he felt isolated, as if no one cared about him, but the way he was dealing with it was isolating him even more." Her voice was quieter as she added, "Does that sound familiar?"

There was an even longer silence than the previous ones, and then I thought I heard Yuri say, "I'm sorry."

The next thing I knew, he was pouring out the whole thing to his mother, telling her stuff that he’d never said anything to me about. Although I probably could've inferred some of it, other parts of it were a revelation, and not necessarily in a good way.

He told her how he hadn't really wanted Fox to come here, but he agreed to it for my sake because he knew I was worried about not being able to take care of him myself and because I thought it was an acceptable alternative to the home healthcare program. He endured it as long as he could, he said, and he'd tried not to complain too much because he didn't want to seem ungrateful. But he'd been struggling because Fox was encouraging him to do more and more things for himself and didn't seem to understand when he explained why he couldn't do them.

"I cried every day," he said pitifully. "I didn't want Victor to know, because he doesn't like to see me crying and I didn't want to upset him.”

"You didn’t think he’d want to know you were unhappy?” Mrs. Okamoto asked.

“It wasn’t just being unhappy,” Yuri said. “It’s a lot more than that. It’s… everything. My whole existence. It’s just… all pain, all the time, and sometimes adding one more thing is too much. But, how was I supposed to tell Victor that?”

“You’ve told me,” she said.

“You don’t look at me the way Victor does.” The words came out low and strained, as if he was trying to suppress a sob. “He… he wants to fix it, but he can’t, and he gets this helpless look. It breaks my heart, Mama. I hate being responsible for that.”

“You aren’t responsible for Victor’s feelings,” Mrs. Okamoto said. “It may seem that way, but he’s the only one in control of how he responds. Perhaps I don’t look at you the way he does because I’ve learned to accept your illness and everything that comes along with it."

"Victor knows all about it too."

"Knowing and accepting are different," she said.

I had to think about that for a minute. Did she have a point? Do I really not accept Yuri's illness?

Yes, I do know practically every unpleasant detail of it, and I know how to take care of him. I recognize that he'll always be chronically ill, and that there'll be times when he's well and times when he's really sick. But, is that really acceptance?

Maybe it isn't.

Knowing all the facts is one thing, but being okay with them is another, and I can't say I'm not resentful and angry about Yuri being ill. You have to understand, though, I'm not directing any of that toward Yuri. He can't help being the way he is. It's more like I'm resentful toward the powers of fate or whatever for causing him to suffer this much, and I'm angry because I can't do anything to change it. It's not fair, and it hurts so damn much that I can't even find words to describe how agonizing it is. Just as Yuri said, I want to fix it, but I can't, and that makes me feel defeated, powerless and so overwhelmingly sad that it's as if my heart is being crushed.

I guess it's kinda like what I went through after losing my dad and sister. I experienced all the emotions; denial, sadness, rage, guilt. I did everything I could to find a place in my mind for my grief, to make sense of something utterly senseless.

With Dad and Caroline, I was stuck on sadness for the longest time. Years, in fact, and it's only been since this past summer that I've finally come to terms with it, learning that I can coexist with it without it taking control over the trajectory of my life. It's okay to still feel lost or sad or angry sometimes, but I also understand that wishing for the events of the past to be different is futile and only causes me more pain in the end.

I'm not there yet when it comes to Yuri's illness, and I'm not sure what to do to get there. All I know is, I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem, but I definitely can't do it on my own. So, I guess the best course of action would be to talk to my therapist about it, right? We've already discussed my challenges as a caregiver, so this likely won't be unexpected for him, and maybe he'll have some good insights to help me move forward.

It's weird, me wanting to involve my therapist. It's super weird to me that I even have a therapist, 'cause that would've been so far off my proverbial radar in the past, I probably would've laughed at anyone who suggested it. But now, I like to call it the silver lining that came out of my accident. If it hadn't been for that, I still wouldn't be seeing him, and maybe I wouldn't be making as much progress on self-improvement.

I realized I'd missed part of the conversation between Yuri and his mom when the sound of him sobbing pulled me out of my musings and back to reality. Evidently, Yuri was determined to say whatever was on his mind regardless of his emotional state, because he was getting choppy bits of sentences out between gasps for breath.

He was crying so hard that I could barely make out what he was saying, and the first thing I was able to catch was, "I hate eating. You know I hate it!"

"You need to eat, Yuri," his mother said gently.

"I know, but I don't want to."

"Why don't you want to?"

"Because it's too difficult," he said. "Fox kept making me do it by myself, but it made me feel worse, and he talked down to me as if I were a little child and I was acting out and being difficult on purpose. But... I really can't do it. I tried so hard to endure it, but I couldn't any more, and I just... I want... I want it to be... be over."

His words got almost completely lost in tears after that, but I thought I heard something about wanting to sleep forever, and about respecting his wishes, and about his whole life feeling out of control.

His mother let him cry for a bit, and then she said, "Did you tell any of this to Victor?"

"N-not really."

"Then, how did you expect him to help you or to respect your wishes?" she asked. "He loves you unconditionally and he's a wonderful caregiver, but he can't read your mind. Neither can I, nor your father, nor anyone else."

"I... I know. But..."

"You need to let us know how you feel and what you need."

"I'm tired of being weak," he said. "I'm tired of being a failure and a disappointment and... and a burden to everyone. Maybe it'd be better if I wasn't even here, because then I wouldn't be hurting everyone I love."

"Darling, look at me," Mrs. Okamoto said, and I envisioned her sitting down on the bed and cradling the side of his face in her hand. "No one would be better of without you. We love you, and we want you to be here. Do you understand?"

"You don't understand. I... I'd be better off," he said. "Mama, please... I've suffered long enough, and it's not fair that everyone else has to suffer because of me."

"We can get help for you,"she said.

"I don't want any more help. I'm trying to tell you, that's the problem. Everyone always has to do everything for me, and I don't want that. I'd rather live an independent life, or... not at all."

"Being ill and needing help are things that are entirely beyond your control," she told him. "You're not disappointing anyone, and you aren't burdening us by asking for help. What hurts us is watching you pretend things aren't as bad as they are and seeing you try to fight all alone, and finally reaching a breaking point like this."

"But, don't you want me to be independent?"

"I think you misunderstand what independence is," she said. "It has very little to do with how much you rely on others and everything to do with how you handle your responsibilities. If you can't do something on your own, the responsible thing to do is to ask someone to help you. Your independence is in your ability to make your own choices and to do what you need to do to reach your goals."

"I don't have any goals," he said. "They seem kind of pointless."

"Do they?"

"They do when I know I'll never achieve them anyway."

"What do you think you can't achieve?"

"What can I achieve when I'm like this?" he countered.

"Tell me something," Mrs. Okamoto said. "If you could make one wish come true right now, what would it be? Anything at all."

I was surprised at his answer. "Papa asked me that too. I told him I'd like to go to Sulani with Victor."

Mrs. Okamoto didn't seem surprised at all. "Could that be a goal?"

"No," Yuri said. "We're never going to be able to do it."

"Why not?" Mrs. Okamoto asked."

"Because we spent all our money on the down payment for Victor's haunted house, and once we get there, we'll be spending more money on furniture and a car and his university tuition and who knows what else."

"What if money were no object?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you told Papa you wanted to go to Sulani," she said.

"He told you that?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "We discussed it, and we also talked about it with your grandparents. You didn't have a honeymoon, and none of us gave you a wedding gift, so we decided that we'd like to pay for your trip, if you really want to go."

"What?" Yuri blurted.

That was more or less my reaction, too. I literally had to put my hand over my mouth to prevent myself from making any noise. I was shocked by the proposition. I'd like nothing more than to go back to Sulani and to take Yuri with me, but like him, I was resigned to the idea that it'd be a very long time before we'd get the chance, due not just to our finances but to his health and everything else going on in our lives.

"We were going to wait until you were feeling better, and Papa and I were planning to tell you and Victor together," Mrs. Okamoto said. "But I think this is the right time."

"Why do you think this is the right time? How is it right?" he demanded and, far from sounding pleased, he still seemed angry. "I can barely leave my bed, never mind leaving the country. I don't know if I'll even be well enough for our move. How can I think about going on a vacation?"

"I don't mean now is the right time to go," she clarified. "I mean, this is the right time to tell you. Clearly, you aren't ready yet, but perhaps you'll find some motivation to set some goals if you have something to look forward to."

"Such as?"

"You tell me," she said. "If you can't think about going on a vacation, then think about your move. What would you need to do to be ready for that?"

"Besides packing, and starting my immigration paperwork, and spending even more money on our flight?" he said. "Get better."

"And what would that look like?"

"You expect me to say eating on my own, don't you?"

"No," she said. "I don't. I expect you to tell me what your definition of getting better is."

"Being able to get up and do things for myself," he said. "Not being a drain on everyone around me and not putting all the responsibility for everything on Victor's shoulders. Not being constantly tired and stressed, and I don't know... Actually feeling there's some reason to be alive."

"What's causing you the most stress?"

"Eating," he replied, likely to the astonishment of no one.

"Is there anything that would make it less stressful?" she asked, and then added, "Something other than someone feeding you."

"Dr. Kasongo suggested tube feeding," he said. "Victor thinks I don't know he was talking to her about it. I think they were trying to keep it from me until the doctor felt like it was absolutely necessary, because they were worried I'd be upset. But, I... I might actually want that. Do you... do you think it's awful for me to want it?"

"If you'd like my personal opinion," she said, "I think that's a bit extreme. There may be something less drastic you can do before resorting to that. if you want to know whether or not it would be a good solution for you, though, I think you should speak to your doctor about it yourself."

"I don't know if I can," Yuri said.

"Of course you can," she said. "I'll come with you, if you like."

"Really? What about Victor?"

"If you'd rather have him with you, then certainly, he should come."

"No. I want you to come," Yuri said. "But—"

"You have to tall him," Mrs. Okamoto said firmly. "No more keeping things from him, all right? I think you know, marriages can't survive too many secrets, even if you believe you're keeping them for the right reasons."

"Even if I want to protect him?"

"Remember what I told you," she said. "You're not protecting him by hiding things from him. I'll come with you to talk to the doctor, but I need you to promise not to keep anything from Victor from now on. Not about this or about anything else that's upsetting you."

"Okay," he said meekly.

"And if you're worried about him keeping things from you, I'll be addressing that with him as well."

That was the moment when I stopped listening. My mind was already spinning from everything I'd overheard, both positive and negative. The prospect of getting lectured by my mother-in-law was one thing too many for my brain to process. I finally opened my audiobook and started listening just to distract myself from panicking.

Up to then, I thought Yuri and I were doing okay with our communication. Yeah, we have our problems, but I believed we were pretty much open with each other. It was jarring to view it from somebody else's perspective and to see we may have been hiding a lot more than either of us realized.

Something else to work on, I thought.

It's okay, though. We're all works in progress, so there'll always be something to do, and I'd rather know what I need to fix and do my best to make changes than to just blithely go about my business and never understand that I could be hurting someone. Like, ignorance may be bliss for the ignorant person, but not for the people around him.

Change is hard, but I think that thing about pruning the roses applies to ourselves as well as our loved ones. If I want to bloom, I may have to cut back a few of my own branches too.

#writing #victor nelson #yuri okamoto #victor and yuri #victorsworldadventures #tw chronic illness #tw suicide mention #stargazersims

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softquietsteadylove · 1 year

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My request is quite suspense and it has 3 parts. Can you write about Thena settling and adjusting to Gil's house, just them together at peace. Them going to the market, Thena doing unusual things like eating raw fish that made Gil startled and also the market lady. I could also imagine him bringing her to a library and she loved it there.

Just them being happy and at peace together going through adventures (you can write more). But...end it with Gil having to ask Thena to stay for a while, and then Thena saw a man giving a paper to every person he had passed, he gave her a piece of that mysterious paper too, and left. She tried to understand what was written into it but all she understood is the word 'Treasure'. When Gil cameback, he just saw Thena examining a paper. He gently took it away from her hand despite the panic he's feeling, he crumpled and thrown it away. He held her to rush home. The paper has announcement in it with a reward, Kro is haunting the person that stole the treasure he caught. (He calls the mermaid he caught which happens to be Thena as 'treasure').

Thena eyed the fresh fish laid out for sale. She had been tempted to take a bite of one earlier but Gil had quickly snatched it away from her before she could. She knew that humans would sometimes eat raw fish, but apparently that required more preparation.

He was jumpy about them being out of the house and on the mainland, but he needed supplies, and by his own reasoning, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to get her more used to humans.

She moved away from the fishmongering stall to another. Gil was talking with someone he had known for quite some time, and she didn't want to deny him the time to socialise. He was already cooped up on the island with her enough.

"Hello there, dear."

Thena smiled - remembering to keep her lips closed over her fangs - at the woman to her right. She had a stall of fruit, all vibrantly coloured and fragrant. "Hello."

"I haven't seen you here before," the older woman said gently from her seat of a few fish crates stacked up.

Thena looked back at Gil and clasped her hands together. "I'm...here with someone."

"Ah," the woman nodded her understanding, able to follow Thena's eyes back to Gil as if the line were drawn through the air. "There were rumours that Gil had found himself a lady. Never thought I'd see the day."

"Found a lady?" Thena asked, fidgeting with the shawl Gil had given her for 'sunburn', so he said. Why was skin averse to the very thing it needed to live?

"Oh, it's an expression, love," she waved off with a raspy chuckle. "I mean that Gil has never really seemed interested in finding a lady friend before. But I'm glad he's found someone nice for himself."

Ah, she was referring to mates. Humans had a plethora of names for a person who was some form of mate or another. There were varying degrees of matehood. She had heard the word 'girlfriend' applied multiple times, now. "Yes, I'm...a marine biologist. I work at a...remote outpost--usually. I know his sister."

"Oh, what a romantic story," the woman smiled, and Thena smiled again as well. "He is a handsome boy, isn't he?"

Thena wasn't entirely sure what handsome meant, but it seemed positive in this context, and if it was positive, then it applied to Gil. "Yes, I suppose he is."

"You feeling peckish, dear?" the woman finally stood, revealing her even shorter stature once she was on her feet. Thena peered over the stall containers down at her. "I saw you eyeing some of the other stalls."

"Oh," Thena mumbled out. That one in-between word could say quite a lot for humans. She examined the billowing white skirt of the dress she had worn (Gil had insisted she wear something Sersi had brought instead of one of his shirts).

"No, no, it's okay," the sweet little woman assured her. Despite her age and the slow way in which she moved, she was carving up a mango with frightening precision. "It makes you hungry, being here, right?"

"Right," Thena confirmed, watching with a certain amount of fascination as the woman worked. She had only really eaten what Gil made her, and she had never tried fruit before; she already knew she hated plenty of vegetables. But the way the woman was peeling and cutting the fruit so skilfully reminded her of watching Gil de-bone fish.

"Here," the sweet woman handed over the slices of mango in a bag. "A little snack for you."

"Um," Thena looked over at Gil. Things here required a trade, all exclusively done in little coins or paper--and he had them all.

"On the house," the woman laughed, even more so when Thena tilted her head a few times. "I mean it's free, dearie. Consider it a welcome gift to the market--and to get that handsome boyfriend of yours out of the house more often."

Thena blushed faintly; something about the woman's wink and her tone and the way she flicked her eyes over to Gil made Thena's chest feel funny. She nodded, "thank you."

"Thena!" Gil called out as he jogged over to them, his shining new toolbox fully stocked with all the specialty gear he would need for boats. "Sorry, I lost track of time. You find something?"

The woman waved her bony hand as Gil started clumsily fishing around in his pockets for change. "You stop it, I told her it was on me."

"A-Are you sure?"

"First timer's discount," the woman gave them a somewhat crooked thumbs up. Thena returned the gesture, having seen it on the box at home. The woman laughed. "Bring your girlfriend around more, Gil!"

Gil blushed much more brightly than Thena did. Well, his blood was a lot warmer than hers. He took her hand in his again, as he had been doing since getting to land, "y-yes, ma'am."

Thena waved to the new friend she had made before slurping back a slice of mango and swallowing it whole. "Hm!"

"Chew your food, Angelfish," Gil reminded her, once again anchored to her side and keeping a watch around them for anyone noticing a little too much about her.

"Gil, this is amazing," Thena beamed. "It goes down like a fish, but it's sweet, like candy!"

Gil chuckled; he had let her try just a few kinds of candy here and there, testing to see if she would even like it. Some she did, some she didn't, but he always remembered what she ended up liking. "Mango is pretty common around here. We can buy some to bring home."

Thena's eyes widened, and Gil nodded to assure her that he was serious. "She was right, I should get you out of the house more often."

"Maybe," he admitted, much to her delight.

"Really, Gil," Thena gave his hand a squeeze, her fingers meshed together with his like the loops of a net. "I think it's good for you to be here and not...what is it you say?"

He sighed, "cooped up?"

"That," Thena rested her head on his arm as they walked. "You seem quite happy here, and your friends have missed you."

"I don't have to come to the market all that often anyway," he argued, although Thena gave his arm a bop with her head (both of her hands otherwise occupied). "I guess you're right; it's nice to get out and see these guys."

Thena looked behind them at the woman getting further away. "I would like to come and visit her again."

Gil took advantage of her position and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "okay, Angelfish. We'll come back soon."

Thena sighed as she leaned against him again. The salty air of the water combined with the sun on her skin and Gil's warmth beside her made all the comforts of home. If she had her tail it would be wagging like a fool.

"Take one, take one!"

Thena tilted her head at the strange man walking through the market, making a ruckus. He was handing out paper to everyone he passed, including those who clearly didn't want it.

"Ma'am!"

Thena frowned at the paper shoved at her. She was going to let it fall, still holding onto her mango, but Gil picked it up, whisking it over to himself. She caught the word 'treasure' zooming by. "What does it say?"

"Hm," he grunted, balling it up and shoving it in his pocket, "just something about a treasure. Some nut job is looking for it."

"Oh," Thena said quietly, curious about Gil's resistance to even let her look at it. He didn't usually keep things from her, but he didn't seem very happy to be handed litter.

"We better get back," he said suddenly, stopping them dead in their tracks and starting to turn to walk them out of the market again. "Before the weather turns."

"O-Okay," Thena blinked, but followed as he more and more urgently started walking back the way they came. She didn't smell any changes in the wind off the water, though. Something had turned his mood on a dime, and it was that paper. Thena leaned over.

"Wh-Thena!" Gil attempted to stop her, but she reached around the back of him and snatched the paper out of his pocket.

She frowned at it; maybe she could see what had gotten him so panicked. It was a reward being offered for a lost 'treasure'; she hadn't quite mastered numbers yet, but it seemed to take up a lot of room, so it was probably of high value. And she recognised a few of the words in the description of such treasure, including 'pale' and 'blonde'. She looked at Gil.

"Come on, Thena," he tugged at her hand again, his worry all over his face, "please."

She tucked herself against him as they scurried out of the market. She was still holding the paper, "it's me, isn't it?"

"Must be." He sounded stressed.

Thena just barely managed to smile and wave at her new friend before they were almost at a jogging pace. She squeezed Gil's hand, "it'll be okay, Gil."

He sighed again, his face knotted up like bleached and broken coral, "will it?"

#Thenamesh Mermaid AU #pt 1 #the dRAMA #it's time #poor Gil #he takes his fish girlfriend out for a market date ONE (1) time #and finds a wanted poster for her #at least it doesn't have a picture or a sketch of her on it #and as much as the market crowd didn't pay it much attention #it's not very comforting to know that Kro is now inducting the general public in his witch hunt #the poster may sound insane #but anyone could be swayed to at least cast their line a few times for 500K #Gil rushes them right home #he forgets to buy more mangoes :(

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artemisiasthings · 3 months

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bookbinding question: how did you format the pages so that they read in the correct order when stacked and folded into signatures?

Hi! I use Word to create my signatures and typeset them to read like a book. I followed amazing tutorials from Hana Bobb on TikTok - I'd really recommend looking at her content but here's the bare bones! (If you use other applications this probably won't be as helpful for you, I'm sorry!)

First things first, you need to get your word document set up. From the top ribbon, go to Layout, then select Margins > Custom Margins which will open a page setup popup window. Here are the page size, margins, and layout settings I use:

My margins are set based on US Letter sized paper. I find that they're not too big but allowed me to trim the foredges and don't eat up the text in the spine.

HOWEVER, if you're typesetting a really large fic, you're going to want to increase your side margins! For example, I am typesetting a tandem read of TRTTD/ATWT that is 900+ pages and my side margins are .65" to compensate for the deeper, rounded spine and the amount I'll have to trim off the foredge.

If you're uncertain if you like your margins, you can do test prints of the first signature to see how your margins end up looking.

Our page orientation is landscape because, although we want our individual pages to be portrait, each landscape page will have two portrait pages.

By setting the "multiple pages" setting to book fold, you will automatically print into signatures that you can then sew and glue into a book.

Sheets per booklet is really personal preference, just in mind that one sheet of paper is equal to FOUR book pages (two front and two back). So my 32 page booklets take 8 sheets of paper. Some people do 7, others do up to 10! It's harder to punch holes in 8+ pages of signatures, but easier to sew in my opinion.

From here, you can input your text! You can post the raw html from AO3 into the document which which bring over the text and general formatting, and you can format chapters, headings, title pages, etc. from there. This is a time consuming process but is really helpful when familiarizing yourself with how typesetting works. If you do go with this option, I'd again recommend Hana Bobb's detailed tutorials - she goes over incredible info for newbies and I wouldn't be half as good as I am without her guidance.

If you're not interested in deep diving on typesetting, you can do what I do now which is use a Word macro from the macro mommy herself - Blak Books Bindery.

She has some incredible macros which allow you to quickly and easily add text dividers, drop caps, and so much more to your typesets! The one I use the most is her "Raw-Text Formatting" macro which allows you to copy raw text directly from AO3 into the word document and turn it into a formatted typeset through computer magic. I usually just use this as a starting point and heavily adjust the aesthetics from there, but it saves so much time moving author notes, formatting chapters into sections, adding title and publishing pages, etc.

After your typeset is formatted how you want it, you can print it! I typically go into File > Print and select "Print to PDF."

This allows you to save the document as a PDF. You can print directly from Word but I haven't tried it since people say it really messes up the formatting.

Your finished typeset file should look something like this:

Just print this double sided with "flip on the short edge" selected, and start folding! Even if you're super confident about your typeset, I would highly recommend test printing your first signature on paper you don't care about. I've caught misaligned page numbers, margin issues, and other problems this way and saved myself the headache and reams of paper.

That's it! I hope this answered your question, I went probably went overboard but I'm not sure what knowledge you're working with so I wanted to be thorough. If you or anyone else has any other questions, feel free to reach out through asks or DMs!

#my stuff #fanficbookbinding #fic binding #bookbinding #tutorial #typesetting #asks #bookbinding tutorial #typesetting tutorial

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luckylittlemonster · 1 year

Text

This has been in my drafts for almost one and a half years y'all and honestly, I've never had the guts to actually post it until now. I still resonate with this post because it is what I felt in the moment. I took all the pain I had and put it in a few badly written words. I like to think this is the moment I actually started to slowly heal all my wounds. I've never had the guts to actually speak these thoughts, these feelings, at least not at the time that this paragraph has been written. I'd like to think that this is me finally letting go. Finally accepting that these feelings were at some point part of me and it's time I stop keeping them hidden. This is me getting one step closer to being fully recovered. This is me accepting me for what I truly am. Kinda cringe paragraph but eh, it is what it is. Enjoy my raw pain y'all.

"How dare you? How dare you say I haven't tried? You may not have seen it, but I slowly became a puppet for you to play with! I did everything you asked with no questions! You wanted me to shut up, I did! You wanted me to not talk with you for fuck knows how many hours, days, weeks, I DID! For fucks sake, even sexually I had one request and you were still pushing it to get what you wanted! I was a puppy! Afraid I would loose your love, I did everything like you wanted! You were trying to manipulate me! You were making fake promises and telling me lies about our future together! You though you finally found the stupidest person alive, didn't you? And at the time, maybe I was... I was fully aware of your manipulation, but fuck I let it happened because I though you'll love me more. Stupid, I know, but you were the very first man to love me, you were the very first person I told what happened at home... I trusted you, fuck I still do, but what's trust if you don't have respect? You told me with your own fucking mouth you'll beat the shit out of me if I cross the line! You owned me, everything I was belonged to you! I was a nobody in this world! If someone wanted to know who I was, instantly I would become "His girlfriend"! I wasn't "That girl who can draw" or "That one girl who is in love with reading", no, I was "His girlfriend"! For fucks sake, I hated being looked at like I was your property! You were a jerk, an asshole, even you acknowledged it sometimes, and yet you didn't stop... I knew it was pointless to try and change you, you already molded me how you wanted to... I was a perfect little doll up on the shelve with a stupid little mind. But now that's not it. I can breath again knowing that if I make a mistake I won't have to fear you anymore, and yes, my heart is broked in a million little pieces and it's still screaming at me at 1 in the morning, asking me why I did it, and I still cry oceans every night, I still don't eat very much and sometimes I regret it, but I know it's what's best for me. After all, what's the reason for being able to throw yourself in front of a round of bullets for someone when that someone is pulling the trigger?"

#my quotes #quotes #my words #my writing #love #love quotes #sadgirl #sad quotes #spotify #music #self healing #healingjourney #healing

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stevesbestgirl · 2 years

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Curious, and feel free to not respond if you're not comfortable talking about it.

When you say sensory issues make it where you don't like vegetables, is it a texture thing?

I won't eat most cooked veggies cause it's a texture and overall taste thing for me. But I can tear up some fresh veggies.

YES

It's 100% a texture thing. Like I love apples and bananas but biting into them makes me gag and I hate it so much.

I haven't tried as many raw veggies, but I think part of the origin of my probably was also growing up poor. My parents couldn't afford the fresh stuff, so I got so used to processed junk that it's an uphill battle to make my brain realize that the fresh stuff is what I should want.

Honestly, I catch a lot of shit for being "picky," but I'd kill to be able to eat like a normal person 😩

#andie answers #starsovervelaris

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a-s-levynn · 5 months

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HAI!!! :3 I have some pals that are into Sleep Token 'n I am interested!! What songs do you suggest from them?/what are your fav Sleep Token songs?

I'm so sorry if you sent this some time ago, using tumblr on three devices eats my inbox notifications at times and i just found yours and an other ask i haven't seen since monday😫

Also sorry it got long but i'd figure it would be fun to explain why i'd go at it this way.

The short answer: basically anywhere but pay attention to the lyrics because that is what sucks you in even more.

But to properly answer your question.. every single person you'd ask would give you a slightly different list for sure based on various reasons. I'm gonna break down why i'd do it like this. Also what i'd suggest to start with and what are my faves vary a bit. And also what i'd recommend based on someone's taste in music can alter what i'd show first to them but.. in general i'd go something like this (true and tested method [lies only tried once but it worked surprisingly well]).

I'd definitely start with the easily digestable tracks soundwise. The more groovy and vibey stuff that can be enjoyable without paying too much attention to the lyrics. It adds to it of course but nit neccessary.

Aqua Regia, Alkaline, Granite, Rain, Hypnosis, The Apparition and The Offering

At the end of Hypnosis there are a bit of harsher vocals which is a nice teeny tiny introduction to that sides of theirs, but not too much. And The Offering is a great one to show off both the softer vocals but disgustingly catchy instrumentals, also that is probably one of their most iconic songs.

Most people are turned away because of the style of singing Vessel does most of the time, with all the bends and runs and high notes. Also the constrictions, bordering on whines sometimes and also heavily breathy vocals. Occasional crying. There is a lot of emotions on display, of which if you vibe with can hit pretty hard. It's neither genre typical nor used as a usually commercialized singing technique in general. I'm not saying it's oooh so unique, others do it as well, but it's definitely not the type you hear from every other song on the radio. The other part can be the unusual arrengments in songs and the collecting genres like pokemons. So these up here are more on the easier side with that.

I'd probably add in Euclid as well to these just to showcase the more pop influenced side but still having proper guitars in it and stuff. Also that track is great to show how dynamic their music can be without any screamy jumpscare.

Than i'd say look at the slower sad stuff because it's trademark for them, also still on the commonly enjoyable side in regards of sound. And this would be the point i'd say start to pay attention to the lyrics properly because that is half the appeal of Sleep Token.

Blood Sport (from the room below), Missing Limbs and Atlantic are great examples.

And after those i'd go with some of the heavy hitters (also the ones with a bit more harsh vocals) like The Summoning, Ascensionism, Take Me Back To Eden and Vore.

And then if you are still interested at this point i'd recommend just putting on the entire This Place Will Become Your Tomb album. There are basically next to none harsh vocal surprises but there are heavier instrumentals at certain points. And it is such a contained experience, regardless of it being a middle part of a trilogy.

If you get through the album and still feel like you want more, than it really is just up to you which tracks do you want to dip your toes in next, because you seen most of what they can offer but still going to ran into new and fresh stuff. Their discography is a bag of nicknacks and all of them are preciois for different resons. TMBTE (their last album) is a higher quality production and caters more to the general audiences soundwise, i think. Sundowning (first album) is more raw but no less enjoyable. Also the certified 'sexy song' (Sugar) is on that one. The EPs and covers, i'd recommend last probably, not because they are not good, on the contrary but they are a bit more niche, bit more restrained in soundscape and a bit more soulful but they are heavy hitters emotionally for sure.

One might argue i left out the singles and the first album but here is the thing. The production quality goues up significantly on each album. For a listener who doesn't come for the lyrics first but the sound, Dark signs and Jaws or Jerico may be less captivating than let's say Granite, for a first time listener. Of course it is highly dependent on the given person but i'm talking in general.

And to answer a 'what are my favourites' part of the question, my all time favourite track of theirs is Higher by all means. The rest is in an ebb and flow depending on my mood but The Offering, Descending, Like That and Gods are always up there for me.

Have a wonderful day every day!

🫶🏻

#levynn answers #anon <3

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songmingisthighs · 3 years

Text

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. lxii - curiosity killed the cat

<< previous | masterlist | next >>

??? × reader, ateez × reader

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

The three remaining boys, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yunho rushed downstairs to see what the commotion was all about. Though they were nervous, they were also curious and they were not going to be the only ones left behind with the information.

But when they stepped onto the living area, they were confused at the sight upon them.

San and Wooyoung were nowhere to be found, Yeosang had a look of utter surprise which was a rare sight, a teary Jongho was standing next to Mingi who was fully crying, and in front of them was a person clad in a black hoodie and a pair of black sweats. The person's back was to the three so they didn't know who it was.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Hongjoong asked with all the strength he could muster. The others who stood in front of the person clad in black could only look at the leader but weren't able to utter a single word.

Slowly, the unknown person turned their body towards the three. All eyes widened and their breaths hitched, the sight before them was just too confusing to comprehend.

"What are you doing here?" Hongjoong asked.

"And who are you?" Yunho added.

The person took his hood off to reveal a man around their age, charming with a glint of playfulness as he smirked at them.

But before he could introduce himself, Mingi had beaten him to the punch, "this is (Y/N)'s cousin who also studied here," he said. The man nodded and grin widely, "Howdy, I'm Haknyeon," he then stuck his hand out for any of the three to shake, "Joo Haknyeon, pleased to meet your acquaintance,"

Before either one of the three could shake his hand, however, Mingi lunged forward to try and grab at Haknyeon's sweater. Luckily, Yeosang and Jongho managed to hold the larger guy back.

"Skip the pleasantries, Haknyeon, and tell them what you told us" he growled. Haknyeon only raised an eyebrow and smirked in amusement, "wow, (Y/N) was right when she said you're a ticking time bomb. No one is ever THAT happy, ever tried counselling, big guy?" he poked.

Then he turned around to the three still confused boys with a distraught expression, "It's about (Y/N)," he started.

"Oh God," Yunho yelped out, his hand immediately gripped onto the arm of the closest person which was Seonghwa.

"What about (Y/N)?" Seonghwa asked, voice cracking from nerves. Haknyeon looked like he didn't wanna talk, but the hopeful eyes in front of him struck something deep in him, "she... left," he said.

"Yeah, she left us, we know that," Yunho clarified, "no, she... LEFT left," Haknyeon stressed.

The boys behind Haknyeon let out choked out tears once again as the Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yunho felt like their world just shattered.

San and Wooyoung came back from the kitchen, San looking dishevelled and distraught as Wooyoung tailed after him, looking more or less the same but not worse.

"Tell me where she went," San demanded once he fully stood in front of Haknyeon. He was about to grab the stranger's hoodie in his hands but Wooyoung luckily prevented him.

Haknyeon took a step back from San to evade being grabbed, "can't do that, sorry, I promised her," he shrugged simply.

By this point, you could feel the tension in the room. The once sorrowful boys now had veins popping on their foreheads and they seemingly had their brains connected as they took a step towards Haknyeon together. The intruder was cornered in the middle of eight menacing men.

"See, Haknyeon, I told you sticking to the script would've been better,"

All nine heads snapped towards the direction of the kitchen where you stood, hands on your waist and your luggage and bag by your side.

Haknyeon grinned innocently and shrugged, "And where would the fun be there?" he joked, slipping himself from between the boys towards you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and grinned widely at the eight now-dumbstruck men, "If you guys haven't figured it out, I was kidding, (Y/N)'s perfectly fine and she's back, she just needs my help to slip in here as a distraction while she slipped from the back," he said proudly.

But the silence in the room was deafening. Neither one of the boys reacted whatsoever. If you look closely, you're sure that neither of them was even blinking.

Seeing and feeling the tension, Haknyeon cringed and pat your head softly, "yeesh, tough crowd. I'll let you handle them on your own," he said simply before leaving from the back door where you came.

When the door closed behind Haknyeon, you finally realized that you now have to face the consequence of your action.

Luckily, you didn't have to break the silence.

"(Y/N)? Is that really you?" Jongho choked out, surprisingly. Out of everyone there, you thought the first ones to welcome you would've been Mingi, San, or Wooyoung, or even Seonghwa.

A smile broke on your face and your shoulders slumped in relief, "Yeah, it's really me, Ho,"

You were about to take walk towards them all when Yeosang stepped forward with a hand outstretched, motioning you to stop.

"You think you can just easily walk in here and we would just so easily accept you back?" he spat out.

Your feet stopped in its track and your heart dropped to your stomach.

"Accept me back? What do you mean accept me back, was I ever rejected by you all?" you couldn't help but ask, feeling like Yeosang didn't mean what he said.

But you were dead wrong.

"You left out of the blue, without any explanation, leaving us scrambling around like headless chicken looking for you. YOU rejected us first," he said.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, "I didn't reject you guys- oh my God, I had to get away from here for a while and I couldn't tell any of you! I didn't have time because I was pressed, FORCED to leave and having to keep my mouth shut about everything, I was miserable when I left," your voice cracked on its own mid-sentence without you realizing.

A scoff left Yeosang's mouth, "No one forced you to do anything, (Y/N), you LEFT, you CHOSE to do that all on your own," he turned a bit to point at Mingi, Wooyoung, and Jongho, "You left those three crying their eyes out for you, there wasn't a day when Mingi wouldn't actively go out to look for you with one of the others, do you know that your former RA almost got his ass tied to a restriction order?" he then moved again to point at the three oldest, "Hwa hyung and Yunho barely ate, too stressed to even keep food down, Hwa hyung had to take medicine for the toll of stress on his body and Joong hyung barely went out of his room, he tried to distract himself from the fact that you left without saying anything, some of us had to force him to eat and sleep,"

Then suddenly he gripped onto San's hand and brought him forward. Your heart broke at how sunken San looked, bags under his eyes and he seemed visibly smaller and weaker, "and San here got so depressed that he wasn't able to function whatsoever. I had to make sure he got out of his bed and move around every day or else I'm sure that he would've died," Yeosang's voice cracked as tears began streaming down his eyes.

Yunho took a step forward and look around at everyone, "G-guys, let's calm down a bit-"

But he was cut off by Yeosang who had let his emotion took over him completely.

"You left us! You left us broken-hearted and confused and lonely and ruined! So no, you don't get to waltz here so easily, thinking that we'd just accept you with open arms after the crap you pulled. If you wanted to be a wandering tramp, then why even bother coming back? Did you get bored out there? Or were your conquest turned out to be a failure? We were genuine about you, yet you simply shrugged us off like dust," he screamed at you.

You didn't even realize that your own tears had run down your own face. You looked around for the other boys for help, but neither one were looking at you. They were actively avoiding your stare.

Seeing Yeosang's chest heaving heavily with lips trembling, Seonghwa took a step closer to him and pulled him back slowly.

"Yeosang, come on, man, not like this. Not now. Let's take a deep breath first, okay?" he said softly despite his own obvious bubbling emotion.

Maybe it was the raw emotion and the vulnerable state Yeosang was in, but he simply let Seonghwa drag him back slowly until they both retreated to the stairs.

One by one, starting from Jongho then Hongjoong and Wooyoung, then San slowly followed whilst keeping his eyes glued to the floor, they all left you. Your heartbeat quickened when you watched their retrieving figure, backs towards you so coldly.

Not that you could blame them, Yeosang made a point about you leaving just like that without any notice.

All that left were Yunho and Mingi.

As they looked at each other, you could see that they were debating whether to welcome you or not.

Your hope was immediately crushed as they simply gave you a broken-hearted stare and followed the other six, disappearing to their own rooms.

So all that's left was you, out in the open.

All alone.

Vulnerable.

How you wish you could turn back time and changed your decision.

taglist :

@raysanshine @peachy-maia @xuxiable @90s-belladonna @theclawofaraven @sanraes @sungiehan @felix-kithes @nycol-ie @superstarw99 @skkrtnawrskkrt @viv-atiny @the7thcrow @stfu-xeena @laurademaury @multihoe-net @daisyhwa @scoupshushushu @whyisquill @bikiniholic @yunhorights @exfolitae @simplewonderland @verycooldog2 @perfectlysane24 @hannahdinse8 @tannie13 @aka-minhyuk-kun @phebeedee @em0yunho @marsophilia @donghyuckanti27 @se-onghwa @malewife-supremacy @hyunsukream @elijahbabyb @taejichafe @alliecoady98 @rdiamondbts2727 @hakuna-matata-ya @ohmy-fandoms @spacechubbyatiny @stray-bi-kids @imaaroy @fashi0nablee @rindomo @violetwinters @nabihwa @linhyyboo12 @mirror-juliet @bestboiericsohn

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dystopiandilfs · 3 years

Text

Dream's discord podcast. Basically him answering questions for 2.5 hours. This will sort of be in order but I fucked up my notes so it might not be in order completely. (From 13th May 2021)

For reference the photos at the end are: A prototype of fidget spinner merch as loads of people asked, a reference photo of his favourite merch and a photo he sent of his hair to prove he wasn't a brunette.

•He said his teeth are mostly straight but he's thought about getting Invisalign. He's never had braces. He has a tiny gap in the left side of his mouth and his canines are longer and sharper (vampire arc). He's never had teeth surgery so has his wisdom teeth still.

•He thinks pineapple on pizza is good.

•He likes seafood like lobster and crab. He had crab made in an air fryer last night. He like peas. He thinks quesadillas are good and likes most food.

•He hates Coffee and most drinks

•The Dream Shorts team is Ken who is his personal reminder (Ken's main job is to spam him with texts so he doesn't forget things as he's got a habit of reading texts and not replying) and also comes up with a list of sets for Dream shorts. The builder is a friend and munchymc builder "his talent gets wasted on Dream's shorts but we pay him so"

•His editors are currently Dizzy, Firesale and Mjcr. Willz doesn't edit for him anymore

•The mask animation isn't done but Mask should be released May 21st. He wants to release them together as "the whole song is a double meaning and the whole nuance will be lost without the animation" but no matter if the animation is done the song is getting released on the 21st.

•He and Sapnap eat together often.

•He and Sapnap prefer medium rare Steak

•He wants a home gym it's something he's willing to splurge on. They currently have a weight rack but they haven't even set it up.

•"Eat the rich? Shut up shut up" - Dream

•Talked about money basically saying "Most people don't understand how money works I don't have millions in my bank account it's in assets like merch, land and warehousing for that stuff" (He's not in his landlord arc)

•He's been debating Pride Merch because of Rainbow Capitalism. He doesn't want it too be seen as a money maker and if he does most proceeds would go to charity. He's currently super busy merch wise with Sapnap joining and George in the middle of joining. He did say "Only if the LGBTQ+ community in this community wants it" He thinks he's going to at least change the merch website to a pride one. Sapnap wants to make pride merch including a rainbow flame on his.

•He wants to create a charity that's centered around helping LGBTQ+ one day because he thinks that there's a lack of them. He mentioned that creating a charity was expensive and took a lot and was a complicated process including a board of directors but he wants to do it someday.

•He wanted to buy a bunch of houses in Florida which was a service to house mostly LGBTQ+ youth and people stuck in abusive households for free to get them out of bad home environments. But he didn't because he didn't want people thinking he was profiting of of abuse victims and LGBTQ+ community.

•He said he's terrible with time management and replying to people which is why Ken helps him (and also helps George and Sapnap). He mentioned how Sam messaged multiple times and Dream just forgot to answer but felt bad "I feel like people think I hate them..... Cause I'd be mad if people did that to me"

•He tries to reply to a few texts a day (community number). He also can't do birthday messages everyday because you can only reply at certain times so it's not abusing the system so if you get one it's special. He said he does try but it's got a weird time gap.

•Him and the manhunt winner are trying to come up with a good time to film

•He wants to stream this MCC on twitch and says his team is good.

•He talks about why he's not partnered with Twitch. Basically Twitch has a lock rate (in which you make money) and you legally can't stream on YouTube. So legally if Tommy wanted to stream on YouTube he couldn't. Someone then mentioned how Bad is a twitch partner but still streams on YouTube "Bad streams on YouTube but he has for a while and I don't think that he cares" - Dream

•He likes to reply to every donation he gets on stream and feels bad when he doesn't so he'll turn them off when he streams and wants a platform deal where he can be payed to stream (not twitch). If he gets a streaming partnership he will stream a couple of times a week. He looked in to Facebook but they don't have an alias system meaning you can see everyone's actual Facebook account and personal info, he doesn't like seeing real names on Facebook so it would require a lot of altering if he was to stream there so he's thinking it's probably going to be YouTube.

•He was asked about if his demographic was what he expected and he said he went in with no expectations, he didn't even know what stans were, wasn't really on social media so he wasn't aware of the fan culture. "You guys are a handful sometimes but it's worth it"

•He also mentioned how he and the DreamSMP changed the twitch audience demographic. It used to be male dominated in both streamers and audience and now it's almost split which is unheard on.

•He has 5 fidget spinners in his house. Two in his bedroom. Two in his office. One in the living room.

•He likes his Minecraft skin as he thinks the arm is cook and you never see the rest of his skin really. He says it's unique and different and "me". Dream: You can't even tell half the skins apart on MC.

•He's not lost the motivation to stream. Most of the times if he wants to stream he gets George or Sapnap to do it and he just turns up. It's more beneficial to them as they have donos and subs on. (Don't we fucking know it "can you say hi to")

•He has listened to Lovejoy. Says the ep was great and they're very talented and awesome. Doesn't know what his favourite song is but probably would pick One Day because the chorus slaps.

•RIP to acoustic Roadtrip. He said instead of acoustic Roadtrip we get Mask so no losses today for Dream stans.

•"With Roadtrip I went to Parker and I said Hey I have a story I want to tell through music. I have no experience with that can you help me" He said sure. He crafted the music and melodies and how things are formed where it's catchy. I have less comfort singing that. I love the song and it's my song, it's very representative of me and I'm sure I could sing it but it's a song I'd be kinds of scared to sing live, with Mask I basically did everything. I sat there the entire time and maybe an hour out if the 100 I wasn't in the call. Dream came up with the lyrics and main melody for Mask (First one he's ever come up with) "That was just notes in my fucking voice memos"

•The clip we heard of Mask was a prechorus not the actual chorus. He thinks he'd be more comfortable to do a mask acoustic and it's more melodic than Roadtrip. The chorus also has a lot of instruments similar to Roadtrip. Mask starts of slow and guitar with minimal reverb and is more raw.

• He doesn't want music to be his main thing. It's something fun to do and he's passionate about it as it's a way to express emotions. He wants to release mask then go from there. He wants to release at least one more song but has nothing on his mind currently. His two ideas were Roadtrip and Mask.

•He wouldn't quit his job to become a pizza delivery man.

•His favourite features on himself are eyes or freckles and he also confirmed that he does have eyebrows.

•He was told that Parkour warrior would be bought back some time in the near future and he got excited for it. "Even if I don't win, which I will, it'll be fun"

•Went on about his MCC team but I'm not going to put that in as we should be getting them today. He did say he wasn't on Pink but he did sound confused. (For reference he's always in Pink as it's the last team announced and keeps the hype up by announcing the biggest streamer last)

•Said he and his mum had the Mr Beast burger. He recommends because he likes the avacado. He mentioned how Mr Beast uses "Ghost Kitchens" which is basically where he gives restaurants permission to cook his food so it's restaurant quality food.

•His favourite piece of merch is the circle smile. (The pool photo on Instagram). He said the quality was bad (he worked with a different company and didn't have his own company) and it was elasticy feeling and he's planning on re-releasing it again but with good quality.

•He's started to send merch out in custom packaging. So his bags have the smile and will mostly be green. Sapnap's has the flame and is either black or white. He's also trying to make it so every order has the sticker packs for both him and Sapnap.

•He loves the coins as it's cheaper than a hoodie but still celebrates the milestones and will last a long time. He mentioned how the old coins are getting removed off the site and how if you have any of the coins your special because only a few thousand get made. He's kept around 100 of each coin that he wants to give away in person.

•He wanted to have a cool store where you could access computers that give you access to the DreamSMP in spectator mode. But it's too costly and would require too much time and isn't safe fight now. He doesn't think it'd be worth it financially.

•Most of the hoodie are black instead of multiple colours because of limited supply and covid. Getting the colours are harder because if the pandemic which hopefully won't be an issue soon.

•He wants to do a short meetup tour with Sapnap and George with a few locations in the US (and if others nearby want to join like Quackity or Karl they can). He also wants to visit Australia, UK, Canada, Mexico and Philippines and do something like that there but definitely at least visit with George and Sapnap.

•He's never been to the Philippines but his mum has. He wants to set up a place in the Philippines where he can ship merch in bulk and it would help to reduce shipping. However it would probably be big milestone merch.

•He's not got the vaccine yet but will get it when he needs to. He doesn't leave the house so he doesn't see the point.

•He's the ideas man. George's footcam video was Dream's idea. The T-shirt video was Dream's idea. Most if not all of the Dream Team's videos are Dream's ideas.

•Said he's got a similar/the same hair colour as Froy (Dream buddy at this point the only difference between you and Froy is that one of you is dating Richard Madden /lh)

#dreamsmp #dream smp #dreamwastaken #mcyt #georgenotfound #sapnap

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bakedcarbohydrate · 2 years

Text

Scar: Wake me up…  Y/N : Before you go go!  Midnight : When September ends…  Grian: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

Scar: Have you seen a person named 'Y/N ' around here?  Midnight : Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.  Grian: It looks fine to me?  Midnight : IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

Scar: I think Grian was right.  Y/N : I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'  Midnight : They wouldn't do that.  Grian: You're right, Midnight . For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.  Grian: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Grian Told You So' on the back*

Scar: You know those things will kill you, right?  Y/N , pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.  Midnight , smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.  Grian: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Scar: Can I be frank with you guys? Y/N : Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Midnight : Can I still be Midnight ? Grian: Shh, let Frank speak.

Scar: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?  Y/N : In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Midnight ?  Midnight : Probably “road work ahead”.  Grian: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Ren: Y/N isn’t answering their phone Midnight : I’ll call Ren: Doc and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Y/N : Hello?

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.  Ren: Shit.  Y/N : Wait, three?  Cop: Yeah?  Midnight : OH MY GOD DOC FELL OFF!!!

Ren: Care for another sundae, weenie?  Y/N : I am not a weenie!  Midnight : Relax, you’re among friends. *raises their drink*  Y/N : My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jr’s.  Doc: You tell ‘em, Y/N ! *sips their drink*  Y/N : Doc, what’re you doing here?  Doc: I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

Ren: Have you seen a person named 'Y/N ' around here?  Midnight : Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.  Doc: It looks fine to me?  Midnight : IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

Ren: *Screams* Y/N : *Screams louder to establish dominance* Midnight : Should we do something? Doc: No, I want to see who wins.

Ren: How did none of you hear what I just said?  Y/N : I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.  Midnight : I got distracted about halfway through.  Doc: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Midnight : Why are Ren and Y/N sitting with their backs to each other? Doc: They had a fight. Midnight : Then why are they holding hands? Doc: They get sad when they fight.

*Ren is cooking* Midnight : Any chance that’s for me? Ren: It’s for Doc. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side. Y/N : I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

Ren: Is stabbing someone immoral?  Midnight : Not if they consent to it.  Y/N : Depends who you’re stabbing.  Doc: YES?!?

Ren: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Midnight: *trying to fix Doc’s cybernetic arm* this came loose

Y/N: WHAT CAME LOOSE?!

Midnight: *holding Doc’s cybernetic arm up* this

Y/N and Ren: *screams*

Doc: *pinching his nose* please just fix my arm so they can stop screaming…

Midnight: but you gotta admit, it’s kinda funny

Ren: I just ended a four year relationship. Midnight : Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Ren: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship. *Y/N and Doc fighting from across the room*

[The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake]  Ren: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of... 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake  Midnight : You're in a prison cell :)  Y/N : You did great. Well, I got a 10-  Midnight : You're in a prison cell with bars on it :3  Doc: I got a 1!  Midnight : You're in... a cube-shaped place.

Ren: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?  Midnight : Plane tickets?  Y/N : Concert tickets?  Doc: Prostitution?  Ren, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

Ren: Midnight isn’t answering their phone Y/N : I’ll call Ren: Doc and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Midnight : Hello?

Ren: I think we're missing something.  Midnight : Teamwork?  Y/N : Cohesion?  Doc: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Ren: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Midnight : Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Ren: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING Y/N WITH ME Doc, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Ren: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Midnight : Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Y/N : I personally was created in a lab. Doc: I just straight up spawned lol

Your prompt:  Ren: Listen, I can explain...  Doc: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?  Y/N : You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!  Midnight: You guys are getting paid?

Ren: Yo is Doc sleeping or dead?  Midnight : Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.  Y/N : Yeah, so did I.  Doc: Okay first of all, fuck you-

Ren: Midnight , I'm sad. Midnight : *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Y/N : Doc, I'm sad. Doc, nodding: mood.

*Ren's helping Midnight out after they get injured, while the others are watching* Y/N : How does Midnight look? Doc: A little better than you, actually.

Ren: Why are your tongues purple? Y/N : We had slushies. I had a blue one. Doc: I had a red one. Ren: oh Ren: Ren: OH Midnight : Midnight : You drank each other's slushies?

Ren, banging on the door: Midnight ! Open up! Midnight : Well, it all started when I was a kid... Y/N : No, they meant- Doc: Let them finish.

Ren: *Gently taps table* Midnight : *Taps back* Y/N : What are they doing? Doc: Morse code. Ren: *Aggressively taps table*(this is why your parents left) Midnight : *Slams hands down crying* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Ren, Midnight , and Y/N are sitting on a bench Doc: Why do you guys look so sad? Ren: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Doc sits down* Midnight : The bench is freshly painted.

Ren: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.  Midnight : No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!  Y/N : Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!  Doc: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.  Ren: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Ren: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Ren and Midnight , in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Y/N : Our turn, Doc! One, two, three- vanilla! Doc, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Ren: I think Doc was right.  Midnight : I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'  Y/N : They wouldn't do that.  Doc: You're right, Y/N . For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.  Doc: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Doc Told You So' on the back

Ren: Hah! 69! You know what that means? Midnight : *being quiet trying not to laugh* nice  Y/N : That you're a child. Doc: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

Ren: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos. Midnight : That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard. Y/N : But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos? Doc: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

Midnight: hey Ren?

Ren: yeah?

Midnight: do you like getting your ears scratched?

Ren: yeah, why?

Midnight: can I scratch them?

Ren: sure

Midnight:*scratches REN’s ears* so soft :O

#hermitcraft #incorrect quotes #oc #hermitcraft incorrect quotes #docm77 #gtws hermitcraft #reader #rendog #hc grian

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dagss · 2 years

Note

Hey there I'm trying to improve my French this year. Are there any less know films and TV shows you could recommend that are great to listen to everyday french vocabulary ? Recently I've been rewatching Antoinette dans les Cévennes a lot, because 1) I love Laure Calamy ever since I saw her as Noemie in Dix Pour Cent and 2) it's been great to just learn all the many things one can shout to French Fuckboys.

oh my, that's so cool of you!!! i have yet to see antoinette dans les cévennes but i can relate to loving laure calamy because she's great!! she's also in une femme du monde which is currently in theaters idk if it made it outside of france? but i'm dying to see it, it's about a prostitute who tries to get money for her son to get into cooking school and apparently it's great because it portrays sex workers positively instead of criminalizing/victimizing them ; it sounds dope af!

anyway i'm not that familiar with french cinema despite being french, i'm mostly into well-known comedies, which i feel aren't ideal to learn the language because there's a lot of screaming and mumbling and outdated slang words for comedic purposes; but i'm gonna try to recommend some lesser-known movies! (hope you can manage to find them... unfortunately, lesser known also means less chances of it being available or having subtitles 🙄). i might have more to say avout tv shows however!

movies

adieu les cons / bye bye morons (2020) dir. albert dupontel (tw illness, suicide)

a woman discovers she has an incurable disease and decides to find the child she was forced to abandon when she was an teenager.

it's pretty recent and got the césar for best movie in 2021 so it might be well known, but in case you haven't seen it already i think it'd be great for learning because the actors tend to really enunciate while also using a bit of slang. that's everyday french that's easy to understand! not to mention albert dupontel is basically a genius director, the movie is so colorful, heartbreaking, poetic. i'd recommend all of his filmography, maybe give 9 mois ferme / 9 month stretch (2013) a shot since laure calamy has a tiny bit of screentime in it ahah

grave / raw (2016) dir. julia ducournau (tw: horror, blood, cannibalism)

a vegetarian college student enters veterinarian school to follow in the footsteps of her family of vegetarian veterinarians, but she ends up having to eat raw meat for the first time and discovers a family secret and her true self.

pretty well known too, but on the off chance you might have never heard of it i'm including it..... it's directed by the woman who made titane this year, it's a horror that a bit less disturbing than titane and i actually prefer it, bit more bloody tho. it might be interesting language-wise because the characters are college students so they speak everyday modern french with slang.

le château des singes / a monkey's tale (1999) dir. jean-françois laguionie

a young monkey lives on top of the trees with his community, but doesn't follow the teachings of the elders, including the most important one: the world at the bottom of the trees is scary and inhabited by demons, and you must never fall down there.

this one is so obscure i'm sorry in advance because i'm not sure you'll be able to find it easily... but it was one of my fav movies as a child and it still is. i personally find it easier to start with "kid's stuff" while learning languages, and this one is actually so suitable for adults as well, i'm really in love with it. it might have terrified me as a child tho because the imagery is pretty dark?

le hérisson / the hedgehog (2009) dir. mona achache (tw depression, suicide)

a kid is deeply bored with life and decides she will commit suicide on her 12th birthday. in the meantime, she observes and documents her surroundings, discovering the pretty enigmatic people living in her building.

this one seems really heavy but it's actually pretty cute and philosophical, since it's seen through a child's lens the language isn't complicated or gets explained, i think it's ideal! it's adapted from a book that you could read once you're comfy with french,,, anyway, it stars josiane balasko who is iconic and my favorite bisexual ever. which brings me to my next point:

gazon maudit / french twist (1995) dir. josiane balasko (tw sex)

after learning of her husband's infidelities, a housewife invites an itinerant lesbian to stay at their place.

i do not resist putting a cult french comedy in there... because! the lesbianism!! of it all!!! everyone is so hot (victoria abril is soooooo, alain chabat is sooooooooooo, josiane balasko is just soooooooo), and i'm confident the language is accessible, although there might be some play on words and stuff, but i feel like it's worth the trouble. i think it was one of the first (if not the first) depiction of lesbians in french cinema. ♥

la prophétie des grenouilles / raining cats and frogs (2003) dir. jacques-rémy girerd

a flood hits the earth, but the frogs predicted it and warned a couple of kids who do their best to save the animals of the nearby zoo and end up in a floating barn with a couple of each animals and a huge stock of potatoes.

apparently it's a generational trauma for a lot of french people but i've always loved it so idk what they're on about 💀 i find it pretty cute and funny, the art is stunning and again, i feel like animation targeted towards kids has accessible laid-back language. there's a lot of other traumatizing animated stuff i'm deeply attached to that i could recommend, like princes and princesses (2000) by michel ocelot, but i think 6 movies is enough for now so i'll move on to series!

series

zone blanche / black spot (2017-?) created by Mathieu Missoffe (2 seasons)

in a town where neither cellphones nor internet reaches, major Laurène Weiss manages the police station and investigates disappearances.

i'm so in love with this show and no one talks about it i'm very mad!! i don't know why they translated the title to 'black spot' since it's literally about the white spot the town is located in, but anyway it's genius! it seems like a simple thriller/cop show (we get those a lot on french television ngl, and i'm generally not fond of those) but the atmosphere is insanely chilling! it dabbles a bit into folk horror and celtic mythology. language-wise i think it's more elaborated than the last movies i recommended but it's still accessible since the actors enunciate well. hoping for a season 3,,,,

cheyenne & lola (2020) created by Virginie Brac (1 season)

two women find each other as they involuntarily get involved with the local mob, and end up eternally linked through a murder.

this one i'm sure has english subs and is available, as i watched it on flixtor myself, so enjoy!! it's pretty recent and i haven't even heard a lot of french people talk about it, the language is very modern, a bit agressive & slangy but the subs are accurate and the realism of the actresses performances is incredible.

les engagés / woke (2017-?) created by Sullivan Le Postec (3 seasons)

hicham, a young gay man, runs away from his family and goes to lyon to find the only gay man he knows, thibault, who is a lgbtqia+ activist. as time goes by, hicham learns about himself as well as the activism community.

this one is a webseries that entirely available on youtube with both french and english subs, i think you'd find it interesting since you're also part of the lgbtqia+ community! created & acted by young french people so the language is pretty close to how we talk everyday, might have some words that are specific to the lgbt+ community too, it's really pretty cool! i have yet to watch the third season but the first two really broke me.

+bonus

i'd also recommend other web contents, some youtube channels like golden moustache or frenchball are focused on making short movies and sketches, a lot of which have english & french subtitles. starting out with funny 5 mins sketches might be entertaining for you! my personal favs are the superheroes hangover (2013) dir. raphaël descraques and julien josselin, & le fantôme de merde / shitty ghost (2014) dir. raphaël descraques. those channels are collectives so there's so much content on them, from various genres (some aren't comedies at all), so they'll definitely have something for you ahah

so there you go!

sorry for the delay i actually had to spend a bit of time deciding what to advise and describing all of it, i hope it's not completely off the mark and that you'll find what you were looking for; if not, don't hesitate to hit me up again, i'll try to find other interesting things :>

#asks #long post #amy passion films

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peachyaone · 3 years

Text

Lonely Heart pt.5

Pairings: Lierra x OC

(A/N : Hi again! I’m excited to announce that the song “You” in this chapter is written by me! :) So pls don’t steal it :( And I’m also less busy this month so part 6 might be out soon! So yeah, hope you enjoyed this chapter, See you in the next one!)

*Luke’s POV*

They arrived at Ashton’s. His palms are sweating, and his throat was getting dryer by the second. Sierra placed her hand on his shoulder, slightly calming his nerves. They stood in of his door. He hesitated on knocking, Sierra had tired of waiting and knocked. Nothing happened at first, Luke knocked this time. There were footsteps, and the door opened. “Look, its early in the morning, so what the fuc- Oh. You two. He groaned. “ I-Is Iris here?” Sierra asked him. “You didn’t check your phones?” He said, slightly irritated. The two took out their phones.

They checked their messages:

[10:00 pm, 09/10/2020] Iris <3 : Hey. Just wanted to tell you that I’m leaving for tour early. I cleared up everything with Ashley and my bandmates. I will be leaving at midnight tonight. You’re welcome to come and see me off, only if you want to. I’ll be with Ashley for the while leg of the tour, we might have separate shows, but we’ll wait for the management announcement.

[10:00 pm, 09/10/2020] Iris <3 : I just wanna say that I apologise for being so distant , I’ve been in a really bad headspace lately. I’m sorry. It’s my fault for making you mad, making Sierra upset and everything.

“Fuck.” he whispered. Ashton was staring at them, arms crossed. "Have you realized what you've done?" Ashton said. They didn't have the chance to speak. "You absolutely wrecked her, you know that? Both of you. I thought you're better than this. She came here, soaked to the skin. She could get sick, and you both know that she gets sick easily. She was trying to keep herself together. She on a verge on an attack, thank god Katniss was there to calm her down. I wanted to march up to your house and beat your ass . But Iris wouldn't let me, you know why? it's because she loves you, Lucas. And that's the only thing stopping me from beating your ass." He scolded. Luke was looking at the ground, ashamed.

"And Sierra, you know what the media could do. They'd do anything to tear people apart, fuck with their mental health, twisting lies into stories with without knowing the real truth. One article could turn people against each other. I really thought that maybe you would understand a little more about this." He said. Ashton was disappointed. He sighed. "Now that you have your answer, I have a lemon tree to save. Goodnight." He said, closing the door on them. The two walked back to their car.

What were they gonna do now?

*Iris's POV*

The live session was a blast. Once she felt sensation of the bass, the sound of the guitar, the kick of the drums, she never felt so alive. They were covering "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance. She felt the problems slowly melt away when she started singing. She sang each verse with all she got. It was pure, raw emotion, the one that could make everyone tear up. It's like she was a different person. Long gone the Iris that was depressed. The Iris on stage now was, way more brighter and her eyes seems to shine with unshed tears. This side of Iris only comes out when she's performing. Usually, without the tears. The crowd cheered her on. She was smiling. The trio gave each other knowing glances, once the adrenaline from performing wears off, she would go back to the woman she was before.

Sad and empty.

They thanked the crowd and the host and went backstage. They were buzzing with adrenaline. "You guys, wanna grab some food before we go back to the hotel?" Maia said. Julia and Helena nodded. "Iris?" Helena said. Iris's head snapped up. "You okay there? Your lookin' a little bit pale, shortcake." Helena said. Iris rubbed her face. "I'm alright, Just need fresh air, that's all. Maybe something to eat." She said. The trio was looking at her worriedly. "Guys. I promise, I'm okay, don't worry." she shyly smiled, nervous from the looks her bandmates were giving her. "Macca's?" Julia said. "Sure." Maia said.

*timeskip*

"That's all your going eat?" Julia said. Iris was eating her veggie dippers. "Yeah. I'm not that hungry." she mumbled. "Bullshit. You haven't eaten anything since last night." Julia said. "Take some my fries." Maia said. "Maia, I can't take it. It's your food." she declined. "Iris, we won't let you fuckin' starve. We have a long night of performing coming up. And you need the energy." Maia said. Iris stared at the ground. Helena rubbed her back, "Please, Iris. We all know you have haven't been doing well." Maia said. "Fine."

"Good girl." Julia said. "Wow, Julia. I didn't know you were into that kinda of stuff~" Iris teased. Helena choked on her drink. Julia looked at Helena, confused. Maia shoved Julia's shoulder. The look of realization dawned on her face. "Oh. Iris, you kinky bitch." She said, smirking. "Well, someone's gotta be the Yuri in this club, and you guys don't have to balls to be him. " she teased again.

They heard cameras clicking.

"Paps." they said in unison. “Shit.” Helena mumbled. “We have to get out of here, quickly.” Julia said. The group got out and tried to get to Maia’s car. Iris was soon cornered by the paps.

“Iris, you know they can do better!”

“Is it difficult having TWO partners? Having to be jealous all the time and fighting for attention – what does that feel like?”

She kept quiet.

“What do you think to the rumours that you cheated on them? There’s evidence of you spending the night with a mysterious female.”

“You’re really nothing special though are you? They won’t stick around for long, whore.”

“We’ve seen the scars on your arms.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bad image for your band?”

“You should look into conversion therapy, disgusting whore.”

“What about your partners? Should they have to deal with that on top of everything they should be doing?”

“You’re nothing but a slut. A cheating, useless piece of shit.”

“You’ll be better off dead.”

“'Lena…” She mumbled, searching for any of her bandmates over the crowd, she felt her vision go hazy for a bit as she desprately tried to push through the paps. She was so close from losing her sanity. The paps was closing in, blocking her in. Insults was thrown her way. She was going to break.

Then she felt their arms. Helena's strong hand gripping hers and pulling her into their arms, cradling her against her chest and Julia pushing through the crowd telling the paparazzi to fuck off along the way.“Get away from her!” She pushed the paps away from the duo while Helena helped Iris up. “We just want answers!” One of the paps shouted back at them. “Well, you’re not gonna get any so take your camera, shove it up your fucking asshole, and fuck off!”

They got her into the car. Maia drove away from the scene as fast as she could. Iris's hands was shaking. “Iris?” Julia ask, her hand moving to cup her face. “Iris, come on.” Julia pleaded, she was desperately trying to help her calm her down, holding her hands and trying to help her breathe. “They said such horrible things.” Iris mumbled. “They’re just trying to get a response.” Helena said.

"Can we call, Ash?" she meekly asked. "Of course, shortcake." Helena said. Julia called him.

"Hey, Julia. Is everything alright?"

"Um... about that."

"What's wrong?"

"Well, we had a run in with paps eariler and they cornered Iris."

"What?! Is she okay? Did the paps do anything?"

"Well, they verbally harassed her. We might ask management to file a lawsuit. As for Iris? She's the reason why I called, wait a minute-

"'Lena take the phone."

Helena took the phone from Julia.

"Hey, Lemon boy"

"Hey, Helena. Is Iris with you?"

"Yup. Let me hand the phone to her."

"Thanks"

She passed the phone to Iris.

"Hey, Ash..."

"Hey, Sunshine. Are you okay? Did they do anything to you?"

"They were closing in on me, taking photos of me and said bad things."

"What kind of bad things did they say, sunshine? "

"That I’m not good enough, they keep insisting that I cheated. They said that I look into converstion therapy-"

She was startled by Helena's hand on her shoulder. "Let it out." She mouthed to her.

"They joked about my scars, they said I would be better off dead." she choked out.

"They what?! Oh, Iris, I'm so sorry."

She sobbed.

" Iris, listen."

"What they said.... it's all lies. You hear me? They are lies. You are not what they paint you to be, they don't know who you really are. You are amazing. You are the most amazing person I know, the boys loves you.... even Luke. He came by with Sierra the night after you left. I didn't do anything, like I promise. But you bet I gave him an earful. But all that aside, Iris, you deserve to be here, and you are good enough. You make people happy. Your fans? They all love you, you make them smile, you make them feels safe. This will pass, things will get easier. I promise you."

"What if I fail to do so, Ash? What if I disappoint everyone?"

"You won't. Trust me, you are not a failure. You will get better. You will heal. You will be stronger than ever. You will make it through this."

"Are they alright?"

"You're seriously asking that? You're not okay and you're asking if they're alright?"

"Please Ash... I want to know."

They arrived at the hotel.

"Yes, they are. You don't have to worry. All you have to worry now is me giving you a lecture. Look outside."

"What?"

"Just look outside."

She looked outside to see Ashton, giving her one of his signature smiles. Beside him.....Luke and Sierra.

"Ashton?"

"Hey, sunshine."

She paled. She turned at the bandmates and chuckled shakily.

"Am I finally going crazy? Is they really here?"

She looked at Luke and Sierra, laughing disbelievingly. Shaking her head, she walked up to them. She prodded Luke at his chest angrily, as she laughed. "You had the fucking nerve to show up here." She was chuckling yet crying in the same time. "Where were you, Lucas. Where the fuck were you when I needed you?!" she said. She stumbled back, shaking her head. Iris's knees gave out. Maia reached out to steady her. "Can we get out of here, please?" She whispered to her. Maia looked at Helena and Julia. "Let's get her inside." She said, quietly. They nodded. They moved to get her inside. Sierra moved to stop them. "Let's talk this through, please." She said to Iris. Helena glowered at her. She stood in front Iris protectively.

"After what you've done, you think you could just come up here and expect her to talk? After the pain you put her through? No, ma'am. You lost that right." Helena said. "Hey, don't talk to her like that." Luke defended her. Julia stepped forward. "Don't think we forgot about YOU, Hemmings." She said. "You don't get to come up here, all high and mighty and expect that we let you go that easily." Helena said. “You two are fucking dumb if you really believe that's a way to treat our bandmate.” Maia said.

“If anyone should be arguing, it should be me.” Iris said, as she straightened up and six pairs of eyes snapped to her. "Thank you for standing up for me, guys." she said to her bandmates. They shrugged and smiled. "Pop off, bestfren." Maia playfully winked at her. Iris smiled and turned to face the duo. The look that they gave her made her newfound anger surge.

“You both don’t get to look at me like that.” She snapped, causing them to reel back in suprise. They never seen her this mad, never at them. "If you gave me the chance to talk back then, we wouldn't have this bullshit." she said. Their faces fell in guilt. The Iris she was before this would've cave in and forgive them but she was seething with anger now to care.

"If you'd noticed the sleepless nights I had, the bag under my eyes. If you'd have cared to even try and listen to what I had to say, maybe I wouldn't be fuckin' pissed at you right now!" Iris snapped and Luke flinched back.

If they'd only looked into her eyes, they would see the bottled up emotions that was threatening to explode. It felt wrong to see Iris so angry. She was always been the one to break up arguements, not start them. "Did you know how much suffering you caused me? Do you know how much pain I've been through? I never asked for this, you know? I never asked for us to fight. I hate fighting, you know that?" She said. She looked at them, they were looking down to the ground.

"Look at me." she pleaded. Her anger disappated. Their heads immediately snapped up."I d-don't think I contribute to this relationship anymore." her broken voice reached their ears.

"Iris!" They called out, but she's gone. Luke frantically searched for her. "Luke, we still have one more chance." Sierra said. "Sierra, there's no more chance. We lost her." He said. "And it's all my fault." he whimpered. "Luke, honey. We have her concert tickets, thanks to Ashley. Let's not waste this chance alright?" She said.

*timeskip*

Two hours till the concert. The stage staff were moving around, making sure that everything goes well. After the encounter, Iris fell in the hotel bed and proceeded take a long nap. And woke up just in time for rehearsal.

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours. Iris drank some vodka that was prepared by the staff, it did so little to calm her nerves. She was pacing around. “Iris?” Her makeup stylist called out. Her head shot up, “Yes, David?” She said. “It’s time for your makeup, and then your outfit." He reminded. She smiled softly at him, "Alright, I'm coming."

She got dressed and sat on the chair."So what would we like on this wonderful night?" He said prepairing the brushes. "I was thinking of skeleton kinda look. Some black, a little red." She said. "That sounds good. Would you like some to put glitter on the black part?" he asked. "Sure" she nodded.

(A/N: Here’s the outfit. Credit to @boy..brainr0t for the makeup look)

They made a small talk about the weather and the upcoming shows. Half an hour later, David finished. "Wow, you did a great job! I love it so much, thanks David! " Iris said, her mood brightened. "No probs, Iris." He said with a smile. She side hugged him and left the room.

"Looking good, shortcake! That choker looks deadly, in a good way." Helena hyped her up. Iris flushed. "Enough about me, look at your mohawk! The spikes are as deadly as my choker! " She said, smiling. "Can I.... touch them? " Iris said. It was like a child asking for candy. "Knock yourself out, shortcake. " She shrugged. Iris's eyes shined with excitement and she poked it. "It's rock hard, did you use hairspray?" she asked, "I did. Used a little bit of hair pomade. Gotta make sure it won't fall while performing." Helena explained. "That's cool." Iris giggled.

"Hey, cuties!" Julia hollered from arcoss the room. "Its almost time, get your sexy asses over here!" Maia said alongside Julia. "Alright, alright, we're coming!" Iris shouted back. "You look like Gerard Way, Iris." Julia said. "Awh, Julia that's nicest thing you ever said to me" she joked. Julia playfully punched her in the shoulder. "Heeeey" She pouted. "Hey guys!" Ashley jogged over to them. "Hey, Ashley" They said. "You ready to go up there?" She asked. "Yeah, it's been a while since we last went on stage, still kinda nervous, but excited." Iris said. "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but you guys are up in 10" the stage manager informed them. "Alright, thank you for informing us" Julia thanked the staff. "You welcome." the staff said, then walked away.

"Go get ready, I can't wait to see you guys out there." Ashley said, before leaving to get ready herself. "You ready?" Maia asked. " As ready as I'll ever be" Iris said. Her eyes shining with excitement. The group fistbumped each other and went on stage.

"GOOD EVENING, LONDON!" Iris screamed into the mic. The crowd screamed. "ARE YOU READY?" The crowd cheered. "WE CAN'T HEAR YOU" The crowd screamed.The intro for their song "You" started playing.

You,

The thought of you makes me sick

Heaven and Hell doesn’t scare me anymore

Not when your with me

Why you gotta be so greedy?

I’m giving all I have to you,

But you keep asking for more,I’m dying, can’t you see? (Look at me)

My blood stains the floor

And I know you love seeing me like this

When it comes to you, (you temptress)

You act so innocent, like an angel in disguise

Always painting yourself as holy

But your tainted halo says otherwise, my dear

Iris sang, stomping her feet to the rhythm. She was smiling, looking out to the crowd. And then she saw familiar head of curls. It was Luke. Her eyes widened, trying to maintain her composure as she sang. She looked at Julia, who noticed them too.

Look at what you’ve become

My still beating heart you hold,

Your knife against my throat.

I’m on the floor, barely breathing (Gasping for air)

My mind tormented by your lies

There’s no escape from you (Never)

There’s no saving for me

“Oh, my darling sweetheart” you said,

With your hands around my neck

“Let me own you” you whispered

Your cold breath makes me shiver

Death knocks on the door (It’s time)

She puts on a facade, performing all the energy she had. Maia and Helena soon caught up with the situation immediately. They were soon picking up on the energy that Iris is giving out. She was nervous. Very nervous. Her heterochromia eyes instantly found blue ones. She wanted to run off stage but her pride wouldn’t let her. What would the fans think of her if she did? She didn't want to be coward.

*Lierra's POV*

They were standing somewhat near to the stage, same as the people that are there, they were all waiting for the show to start. Soon, Iris came on stage along with her band mates. The crowd screamed and cheered.

"GOOD EVENING, LONDON!" she said. She sounded so different from 4 hours ago. She looked beautiful as always, her facial features were enhanced by her stage makeup. "ARE YOU READY?" They cheered. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" They cheered even louder.

Iris smirked. "Helena, darling. If you please." she said. They both knew it was her persona on stage to be a little flirty , but Sierra couldn't stop but feel a little bit of jealousy. Helena was smirking on the screen. " ONE, TWO, THREE-" Helena said, before she started playing the drums. The intro sounds familiar to them. Then Iris started singing.

In their eyes, she was the most ethereal being they ever seen. She was confident when she sing, it was beautiful.

Midway through the song, their eyes met. Luke could see her eyes widening. She turned to Julia. Julia gave her a brief nod. She turned to the front, with a smile on her face. He gave Sierra a look.She shared the same look, they clearly knew that she was faking her expression. And the thought of that made them feel even more guilty.

*Back to Iris*

Look at what I’ve become

My still heart you hold,

Your knife still against my throat.

I’m on the floor, still and silent

My mind corrupted by your lies

There’s no escape from you

There’s no redemption for me.

As she sang the last verse, the crowd cheered and clapped. She was a little sweaty and she was a little out of breath. She kept on smiling. Her bandmates joined her at the front. Ashley comes on stage next. “Good Evening, London!” Ashley said. The crowd screamed. “ I would like to thank my good friends, The Temptress, for their AMAZING performance tonight!” She exclaimed. The crowd screamed again. "You welcome, Halsey." she said.

In the corner of her she saw a sign. The sign said "It's Nia!". Her eyes shined. "Well won't you look at that, Hi Nia." She waved at the girl direction. A group of girls were screaming as she said that. "Thank you again for the wonderful gift you gave me yesterday, darling. I really appreciate it." She said. The group screamed again. She was smiling. A real smile. The camera was on her and the crowd screamed again. She and her bandmates said their goodbyes to the crowd and Halsey and went off backstage.

She took off her facade and became unsually quiet. She plopped on the couch and drank the vodka she poured for herself. Her friends didn't know if they should comfort her or give her space. "Hey, shortcake." Helena said softly. Iris just leaned against her, her head on her shoulder. "You okay, bub?" Helena said. Iris just buried her face further into her neck.

"I don't know, 'Lena."

#poly!5sos #poly!lierra #lierra x oc #lonely heart #luke hemmings #sierra deaton #5sos fanfic #5 seconds of summer #5sos

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lawrising-a · 3 years

Text

( continued from here! // @pseudoneiric )

there's a sore sensation nestling against the sensitive skin of his wrist -- not rubbed raw, exactly, considering his tie is too silky to achieve such a feat ( and he, desperately, tried to move as little as possible ) but it still stings. a chiding reminder of what he allowed to happen not even minutes ago. yellow wrapped around him, completely bound and helpless ... it was something he can't say he's done before, not like that. he thinks the correct term would be bondage, but was it? gloved hands sinking beneath layers of flesh to expose the fluttering organs beneath, and expose her own in turn. call him crazy, but that's not what he thought bondage was about. but when was anything with lilian it's textbook definition? he can't blame anyone for his display of vulnerability except himself, completely ensnared with the girl the moment they crossed paths. there were times he watered down his attraction, for both their sakes, blaming her allure for his enchantment. yet lies come clean eventually and here he now perches. the edge of his mused bed, chest rising and falling more then it should as he burns with the black markings drifted upon his ivory skin. lipstick marks painting him in a light he's not used to. he's been stripped of all his warm tones and fake boy scout personas ; left in cool colors. green pants and black marks.

‘and what are you ... the sun?’ whispered a voice earlier, like every hushed word was a secret reserved between the two of them. mat rolls his shoulders, because he doesn't feel that way anymore. never has, honestly. he wants to be beaming lights with a killer gravitational pull, but he ... isn't. the colors on him now is a striking reminder of that : yet he replays lilian's maddening words and fools himself briefly. it's okay to believe lies when she's the one feeding them! as long as she believes it, why can't he humor it? everything she said had been a warped view, a funhouse mirror at those shifty carnivals -- but it was raw honesty from lilian, and he can't turn away the swell of attention. even if he should, even if mat should waltz into the bathroom where she's currently shrouding herself away and spill out the truth. let her know he isn't some angelic force but rather a mockery of one. how matthew naively hopes he can be hers regardless of his lack of good ... it's dizzying, causing his vision to blur, because it's been a while since he's confronted this about himself. the student doesn't like it. but oh, he loves her -- a burning sensation that lights his veins aflame and races his heart.

distractingly, he presses the pad of his rough thumb against the mark on the corner of his lips. a replica of a kiss she once bestowed upon him like salvation itself ( hm, what's with the spur of religious imagery today? hah ). trying to prod away the disappointment that rises every time he feels the wishful want of her actual lips there instead. she has to -- she has to feel something for him at this point, right? that can't be an assumption anymore, can it? questions whirl around as his fingers ghost down his ruined skin, tracing over the words left with his own hands like confirmation. like he's silently saying 'yes, property of lilian eyler.' like he's finally allowing himself a love he thought he wouldn't ever have when he traces, ‘mine. mine. mine-’ that ends with him working his way back up, away from the bulge of his stomach and trembling arms -- away from 'poetry, life, religion' and back to his lips. where he's reminded, with a fuzzy feeling balling up in his chest, 'mine.' almost pushing hard enough to slip a finger through his pink lips, plush and ready for ... mat isn't sure. he just wants her to kiss him there. though he knows she won't, least not today. and even if there's this sickening greed that controls him with a talent, he lets her have that. lets her take all her time in the bathroom and tries not to beg for more. how did she elegantly put in, in all her poetic prose that he's seen briefly in the club? a loyal dog? just for you now, only ever for you, lili--

a shiver rocks his form, startling his hands to the edge of the bed to tear into as he digs his heels into the carpet ( like he once had in the bed, to ground himself, to not buck ). was his pulse racing with the life she declared to adore so much? the man sinks canines into his cheek to hold back from beckoning her out to check. no, no ; he said he'd leave her be. it's a good thing for them both right now. if she had stayed and let the fabric obscuring his view fall from his eyes, he would've reached for her. try to pull them close and he'd ramble like a mad man ... wouldn't he have scared her? some part of him thinks he still has. which wobbles his posture in order to keep his head bowed, like awaiting punishment. almost waiting for pain building in his scalp, because surely she'd card her delicate laced fingers through his hair with a bit more force if she came back out. or was that his gentle throb of arousal wanting that? she got him worked up so easily ; ah, well, at least it's a good exercise for his thinning self control ...

a sigh, shaky and human, whistles out of parted lips. dry due to the fact he can't lick them thanks to the lipstick, though he can't help but wonder if he did -- would he be licking lilian's lips that way? the material touched them ... realizing how wild he is, a thoroughly teased animal, matthew laughs nervously. jesus christ, there's parts of him strewn all around his bedroom, because there's no way mat is fully put together. his brain feels like soupy liquid dripping from his ears and hissing into his scarlet skin. a puzzle of a man that lilian expertly took apart and left half completed. no matter how hard he tries to reel himself in, chase away all the sweetened morbidness delivered, he can't find all the pieces. surely, the clever girl took some with her to the bathroom. she was ... possessive. mat learned that just now. possessive over him, envious of basic things that matthew almost couldn't believe. she'll never know how comforting it was to see. a feeling now nestled happily within because nobody's been possessive of him before! she mustn't of gotten the memo from former friends, didn't hear how expendable he was to everyone who's known him. people don't get jealous for matthew, they don't care how much he sleeps, they don't care if he isolates away -- and they certainly don't care if his eyes linger on a girl with purple hair.

because who would find him special? he's an emotional wreck everyone stays weary of, a boy to eye with skepticism. his jealousy, his rawness, his obsessive love and need is wrong and ugly. you're shunned for those things by society. to the world, mat is anything but special, he's wrong ; so wrong and he's relentlessly tried to change that. but lilian ... she thinks otherwise. feels like he feels. sensitive and lovesick. and while he's always tried to hide before, if the girl with inky hair thinks it's beautiful and radiant ... everyone else must be wrong, because lilian eyler never is! as clever as the devil and twice as pretty, so the saying goes. with a rueful smile, too boyish and gentle for his own sharp face, he thinks it's an accurate fit for his favorite person ever. his throbbing molten core of earth, the darkened reflective surface of his beloved moon.

“im excited about lunch tomorrow, you know?” calls mat, voice as rough as ever ; like he uses it too much. but during this whole date, he fears he hasn't used it enough. “i haven't eaten with another person in a while. i usually just grab an apple and loiter around the library.” did you think i ate with yuri? though the fawn haired male doesn't ask, he quickly kills that assumption if it festered in lilian's mind. “if it goes well, we could ... ah, why don't we eat together from then on? maybe everyday? maybe forever! i think it'd be ... nice.”

the last part is so quiet he's not sure she hears it, but maybe she hears it die off. senses his shyness that bares him like it's her own. matthew doesn't want to dwell in it, so he tries to push forward. telling himself to keep tearing down the walls until there's nothing left ( the bathroom walls or his own? ). she deserves to hear more then his sputters from their little session, brought on by gutting arousal and his own jittery sparks : she deserves the world on an obsidian platter. to know he does want to be owned by her, to understand he'd be so comfortable displaying that label for all to see. and for lilian to be told, sternly, that he'd choose her out of a line up with certainty most would be scared of. love isn't half way for him, ever, and lilian needs to know that. even if his heart thunders and he wants to hear more of her disarming voice instead.

“and i want to be yours ; your idea with the whole 'blindly leading me around' wasn't half bad!” heartfelt chuckling makes him feel like he's vibrating out of his skin, her skin now, isn't it? “i'd let you blind me, i'd let you led me even if i was deaf and mute. you could be all my senses, because maybe then i'd trust them more. you don't know how much i wish these words on me were permanent, lilian --” mat twists his mouth, ruins his hair more. “darling, you just ... i've tried so hard to be normal this year, more then any other, yet you make me so helpless! it's ... how do you do that? do you know how special you are, how beautiful? perfect ... well, perhaps not that ; because you're stupid for worrying about not owning me. isn't it obvious you already do? were these reminders for me, or wishes for you?"

( eyes flutter to words he can barely read on his bared parts, words overlapping due to frenzy. all true. all true )

with a tightening throat, emotions rising like waves and god he could just drown, matthew lays back on the mattress. meekly pulling the tie out from under him, only to drag it over his used wrists. picturing only her. wondering if this sight would entice her to keep going when she comes out. and he wants to say lilian, you've won! congratulations on having a lover for life! or, something like : yuri couldn't pry me from your cold dead fingers! but what stumbles out is something foolish that he immediately grimaces over. hopefully she's too shaken to judge him too much.

“i think you're my soulmate, lilian. i .. really do.” so why would i ever let you go? or deem you unworthy? it's me, im unworthy. not you, never never -- his lashes tickle his skin when he shuts his eyes. breath hitching before evening out. reminding himself to calm down because matthew thinks he'll actually explode otherwise. a bundle of nerves, of her love, is all he really is.

#» death risen ( thread. )#lilian♡matty » i understand what love never could . i forgive what love never would ( pseudoneiric )#v.ddlc ★ and the boy who loves you the wrong way keeps weakening #pseudoneiric #tw suggestive #( okay so. i think this pales in comparison to your amazing answered ask. like pales so hard )#( but i hope this was a delight to read regardless !! )#( thought it was time to reply to this. a lil warm up gift for lilian's bday <3 )#( have some matty being lovestruck and a bpdcore mess for an entire response! )#( and oh! hope its alright lilian was like. in the bathroom. she seemed shaken from being so open that i thought she'd need a breather )#( if thats dumb im sorry </3 )#( ANYWAY hope this was good ik i said i wouldnt write but i lied. its lilian day )

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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years

Conversation

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 1 "Pilot" & Ep 2 "Hell Week"(Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

Something really bad happened.

Did you just get your period all over yourself?

This isn't my blood.

Who told you you could have a baby here tonight?

I'm sure I can walk if I can just get some Gatorade.

I don't care if you can walk.

How are we supposed to get you to the front door without everyone seeing you all gross and postpartum?

No one wants to see that at a party.

This is super embarrassing.

I didn't even know I was pregnant.

You guys, they're playing "Waterfalls."

Is that a baby? Amazing.

I am not missing "Waterfalls" for this. "Waterfalls" is my jam.

Give the baby some mojito to quiet it down.

How do you know she's dead?

These are my minions. I don't know their names. I don't want to know their names.

I have a colonic at 10

Life is a class system.

Oh, still a lot of puke to scrub.

Yeah, you have an amazing skill at telling people what they need to hear.

I'm sorry. Did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?

I hate sororities, and I hate you.

First of all, I'm not a lesbian.

You see, out in the real world, people just don't talk that way to other people. It's not normal.

Well, that sure sounds suspicious.

No one forced that goat to get as drunk as it got.

Historically, short people are sneaky backstabbers, like Napoleon or Paul Shaffer.

I could actually handle that you're built like a Thai ladyboy, but what I can't stand is that you think you're my heir apparent.

Don't you want me to spray-tan you?

I would honestly rather not have you around.

The police still can't figure out who filled that tank with hydrochloric acid.

It's good enough for me, and the D.A., who, last I heard, considers the case closed.

What is that skirt?

Your organization might want to find a lawyer.

I'm a pretty smart cookie.

I would not get personal with me, sweetheart.

I don't fight fair.

I am sentimental.

Look, girls are vicious, okay?

I don't have any of my own memories.

Just like we planned. Three-second silent hug, and then you leave.

Ooh, somebody call CSI, because there was a murder scene in that bathroom.

Someone puked in the sink and I'm pretty sure I saw an actual ringworm climbing up the wall. I'm not afraid of anything, but that bathroom scared the crap out of me.

This is gonna be a year of infinite possibilities.

Hold this. It's too heavy.

You didn't knock!

Look at them. They're the dregs of society.

Each one of these gashes is worse than the next.

She smells like hot dog water, and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins down at the local bowling alley.

Look, I'm not saying that all heterosexual sex is rape. I'm saying all heterosexual sex is gross, and that deep down, every woman knows this.

All that girl's after is a whole lot of bikini burger.

Hey, girl, can I just ask you, what's up with your outfit?

God knows what they're talking about, basic bitches.

What fresh hell is this?

I need you to stay popular, 'cause if you want to stay at the top of the list of the pieces of ass I'm getting, there's criteria. And the criteria is you got to be popular.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, because I'm getting really pissed off.

Stop fake crying.

Anyone you dated would be popular. I mean, they would be popular because they're dating you.

My ego, it's super strong, ok, but it's not strong enough that I can just go around dating garbage people.

Like, yes, I could find a random girl who wasn't popular, and, yes, if I started dating her she would then become popular.

But you said you loved me.

I do sort of love you.

I would love you a lot more if other people loved you, too.

Okay, I need you to leave because you're bumming me out

We're just trying to have a nice day hitting golf balls at hippies.

Pretty girls, like you and me.

That's why I'm gonna burn your face off.

Ugh! You burned the milk!

Next time, I get you fired, or worse.

Actually, I just want a regular coffee. Those white girl pumpkin spice lattes annoy me.

I like to think of myself, uh, as an investigative reporter.

I had to get a restraining order.

I tend to get a bit passionate about things.

Look, you intentionally led me on.

You kept acting like you liked me just so you could humiliate me.

Enter, ye who dare.

I love a creepy collage.

It's about kicking the living crap out of someone when they disrespect you.

I was just in your room, where I noticed you have a sizeable shrine with evil burning candles, photos of me with my face scratched out and pairs of my stolen panties.

How about I just drown you in it?

Well, of course she's dead! You just burned her face off!

You don't die from getting your face burned off.

There's a dead woman in your kitchen.

I'm going to the authorities.

That's not how I saw it. And my witnesses agree.

You're an awful person.

Who wants cocktails?

How did my life turn into this?

Have you seen the way girls dress on this campus?

I'm sitting in the same office I used to throw bricks into.

You're awful in bed. Are you aware?

I'm gonna take a pair of your panties.

I'm gonna barf on your face unless you get out of here.

Try to figure out who gave you such disgusting mommy issues.

You loaded a dead body into a freezer.

What are you proposing?

I want to help you with your exposé, secretly feed you info.

You need eyes on the inside.

I don't know what to do with the body.

Are you saying dead bodies don't turn you on?

You are so lame, you know that?

God, I love all that death stuff.

Show me the body.

Show me the dead body.

This blood oath will ensure solidarity among us. We are all related now.

I just Googled "blood oath" and this is what came up.

What does this oath even mean?

I just need you all to not say anything about what happened, and I figured a blood oath was cheaper than buying you all presents.

Wait, what about STDs?

Idiot, you don't get STDs from blood oaths.

You get STDs from dirty toilet seats and drinking the water in Mexico.

Um, "STD" stands for "sexually transmitted disease," which means that it's transmitted sexually.

When were you in Mexico?

You know what, forget the blood oath.

I can't stay silent!

I'm calling my mom, and I'm going home.

Okay, Pissy Spacek, you and I have a few differences we need to iron out.

I want you to be one of my minions.

It's the gateway to the top of the heap.

You put on a good front, but you're miserable.

Don't you think any of that has anything to do with the fact that you've created an atmosphere based solely on negativity and raw ambition?

Can we talk for real for a second, please?

I mean, you're so confident without being mean. What antidepressants are you on?

Don't you see that all that's happened isn't a crisis? It's an opportunity.

Yeah, no, I tried. See, I really tried. But all of this flowery, peace-on-Earth crap, it makes me want to puke.

You haven't even seen half of what I'm capable of!

Totally spit in your coffee, bitch.

I don't mean to be a contrarian, but I'm enjoying this.

Is that killer noises or am I hallucinating?

I'm gonna ask one more time, will you speak up?

What can you tell us about the murder?

There's an exodus right now.

The risks are real, but we need to close ranks.

I don't feel comfortable with a man protecting me. It's representative of the patriarchal, post-colonial culture that encourages violence against women.

We buy a pig and feed it the body. Pigs will eat anything.

Don't go skating on those poop lagoons, because if you fall in, you'll drown in the poop and come springtime, there'll be nothing left of your body.

Here's what you should do. Pulverize her teeth, burn off her fingerprints, and disfigure her face. Once her body is unrecognizable, we can create an incision on her inner thigh and drain out all of her bodily fluids. That'll give us more time to deconstruct the body.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot of work. You need a really good food processor, and you run the risk of fouling the plumbing, which is why you should only do it if you know how to clear out meat and bones from a drain pipe.

I'm willing to help in any way possible.

You're obviously a psychopath and those ideas are insane!

Why are you trying to terrify us?

Can I call you Mom?

I feel so loved and protected by all of you.

Actually, it's a new pop culture trend where young women desperately in need of role models call other girls they look up to Mom.

I thought you'd be cool with it.

I mean, I did just give you several ways to dispose of a body.

Okay, fine. Just stop talking.

You are so friggin' creepy!

Someone just mowed off a deaf girl's head in our backyard.

I mean, as you can see, I'm not licensed to carry a sidearm.

Wait, so you don't have a gun?

I have pepper spray. And I have a walkie talkie that I can use to call the police, who do have guns.

What good are you?

Get the hell out of there. Run away, real fast.

Now, I would give you my number, but my cell phone is off right now.

If you want the place clean, maybe you shouldn't have burned the maid's face off.

Don't you wonder what's in there?

People have been whispering about that house for years, that it's haunted, that something really bad happened. I mean, there's no way there isn't some real-life story behind it, right?

I'm gonna have to break in.

I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna get killed in the 30 minutes we make out, right?

Can you stop talking?

You're kind of ruining whatever was good about it.

Please try to understand the situation I'm in.

I don't give a rat's ass about your job.

You know, I find good parenting incredibly attractive.

You're a snoopy little bugger.

Whose bloody clothes are those?

Supposedly, it was a super fun party.

We're all gonna pay for this.

I think it's all crap. Just a myth.

What happened to the baby?

Sometimes I picture myself like Derek Jeter, you know?

I'm gonna choke you out.

There's a serial killer on the loose.

Please don't say you want to choke me.

I'd love having sex with your corpse.

I'm sorry. This isn't working for me.

Well, I sort of am your boyfriend, and I'm protecting you by having sex with you.

No! I don't need a man to protect me.

How could I have wasted this much time?

Is my self-esteem really that low?

I'm sorry. I think we need to take a break.

I need you to leave right now!

You know, it would really help me feel better if I could just crawl into bed with you for a few minutes.

Are you gonna touch my wiener, or you gonna leave my wiener alone?

I'll leave your wiener alone.

Where are your hands?

He has a huge boner!

Why don't you go in there and ogle his big old boner?

Okay, uh, first of all, I'm not gonna go ogle his big old boner, because I'm not gay.

Look, I'm sorry everybody wants to have sex with me. Okay? I can't help that.

I'm hot. Everybody wants to get with this. Women, men, animals in the zoo, plants, probably.

You're gonna have to go right now, 'cause I am breaking up with you.

Excuse me, I broke up with you!

I regretted what I said, and I just wanted to come here and tell you that I am so sorry.

Well, I accept your apology. And now I'm breaking up with you.

Do you know why I'm breaking up with you?

You can't deal with how hot I am.

Sorry, I just broke up with you.

Can you please put some clothes on?

Um, they said, uh, I shouldn't be alone, you know, in case I fall asleep and die.

Can I just get you a robe or something though?

So you're saying I'm the killer?

Okay, this isn't about me thinking you're boyfriend material.

God, I was so gonna go to third base with you tonight, too.

What if we stapled their earlobes?

Private like the parts on a man you like putting in your mouth?

I want to publicly come out as gay on my own.

I mean, you guys have to accept everybody, right?

I actually think that's illegal.

I will come after you, do you understand that? I will destroy you.

I trust you'll consider my offer.

Name one bad thing that ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot.

You're just, like, super attractive.

Um, well, I was trying to be inconspicuous.

It's better than losing your life.

I have a thing for playlists.

Someone's got a poo belly.

Sweet Yeezus, I don't even know where to begin with you.

Bitch, I'm about to smack you so hard, your tampon's gonna pop out.

I heard screaming.

So you think the serial killer is still up there?

Upstairs to get the killer before he gets away!

You just said that you think the killer is up there, and that's where you want to go?

This is freakin' terrifying!

The killer is in the house! You hear me?

I need my damn inhaler.

What, am I supposed to be scared?

Don't even come out. We plan on getting drunk, and I don't want your bad attitude ruining it.

We're headed down to White Stallion to pick up some sluts, baby!

Yes, okay, I burned her slightly, but stop saying that I killed her.

That was a tragic accident.

I am a kind and devoted and loving friend to all.

I'm not some crazed psychopath.

Maybe you're the killer.

I will not be put on trial.

The truth is we don't know who the killer is, and, yes, I suppose it could be someone in this room.

You want to go first?

I banged, like, 50 chicks.

What took you so long?

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #scream queens

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hkshirayuki · 4 years

Text

The Mythical Creature

Marco x Reader

Genre: Fluff

This is the story of a Curious adventurer named y/n and The Phoenix.

Y/n is a well known Adventurer, she was a fearless woman. She face the great sea. To search the Mythical creatures she had read when she was a kid. It was her dream to meet a Dragon, Centaur, Giants and Yeti. But what really encouraged her to set sail to the wild sea is to see the phoenix.

It was a bird that holds immortality it says, It was a beautiful bird that is rarest of all. You can only see one after a thousand years had pass.

Y/n took the risk to look for a proof that phoenix exist. In her great adventure she encountered danger yet, she face them all. She experienced hunger and felt like she will almost die. But she survived somehow.

She been wandering around beating the people that bother her. She won't be called fearless if she is weak. They always look down on her as they judge her by the cover. Y/n is strong that her name become well known in Grandline.

The wandering adventurer y/n. She doesn't stay at one island she will wander around.

At the same time somewhere in the Great sea. A blond boy that eat a rare type of Devil fruit that he decide to fully transform into his phoenix form.

Marco just transform as a blue phoenix. As he tested out and fly to the sky. He was soaring up high. When he notice a boat, he just fly in a good distance to observe.

When he saw a person that is unconscious, he just landed to the boat.

"I can't see other people on board, only her, it seems she faint, I should transform back to normal" Marco thought to himself, when he tried to revert back to his human form.

He just shout.

"Revert back!" he shout to himself, but only the sound of bird were heard. He did call out but he can't revert back to his human form. He start to sweat as he forget its his first time to transform completely as a phoenix for a long time.

Mostly he transform halfway or he transform completely for a short time.

Marco just keep trying to revert back to his human form. He can't believe that he can't control his transformation. So he keep trying. Back to y/n and what happen to her before Marco arrived.

Y/n just wander around the sea for three days she haven't seen a island which she could get food, so she faint due to hunger. She been drifting to the sea for three days. When she woke up by the odd sound. A bird noise, she only open her eyes slowly to see a blue beautiful panicking bird in front of her.

She only stare it until she suddenly sit right up. Marco were only startled when he saw you sit right up. You were observing him closely.

Y/n felt like she is missing a important detail.

"what kind of species are you?" she mutter yet it's loud enough for Marco to hear what she said.

Marco just tried to speak only to know he can only make Bird noise.

"Roast chicken, Fried chicken, my very first meal after three days of hunger, Finally..."

"Oyaji! Help me," he thought to himself. When he heard her what she said.

Y/n though hesitate to eat the bird that is currently panicking. She just wonder, if it know how to fly but how did the bird came to her boat. Did it fell? Or its Injured.

She was debating to eat it, As she never saw a bird like that, she had seen a Pterodactyl a flying dinosaur. Giants in Little garden. Where she met and greet a Real living giant.

So she want to know what kind of bird is this blue beautiful bird before eating it.

"it would be nice, if birds can speak"

y/n said to herself. Marco just thought to himself. "I can talk though"

He was distracted by you that he didn't notice the chain you put in his feet.

"there, so you can't fly and I can observe you more"

"Crap! I got caught!" Marco thought to himself.

"now then, let's find a island first so we can asked, what kind of bird this is" y/n said but she collapse in the floor again.

"let's conserve energy first, I'm hungry, am I dying?" she mutter and Marco who is only stuck just thought.

"Why did she even set sail in the sea?"

Back to Whitebeard's ship.

"Oyaji! Marco haven't return yet" One of his son said.

Whitebeard just laugh while looking at the telescope as he found his son get caught by a girl.

He never see him act like that, after he become a his personal doctor.

Marco is always mature and calm. They always praise him for being mature. Thatch is older than him, but Marco act more older than childish thatch. So seeing him panicking when the girl caught him.

Whitebeard still thought Marco the little boy, he know is still the same.

"Gurarara, don't worry about Marco, his just hitting on a girl, he be back when his done" Whitebeard said.

"whoa, for real, Oyaji?! " thatch asked.

"Yeah, Gurarara"

"that's very rare"

The others just agree and laugh.

Back to y/n's ship.

Marco doesn't know what to do. He just stare at your unconscious body again. Just why did he landed on your ship. He could just fly back to his ship and asked them to help you. Now his stuck with you, How will he help you?

He is currently stuck to his phoenix form. He can't also speak. He can't go back like this, His crewmates will definitely make fun of him. So he thought of staying with you longer. Until he can revert back to his human form.

Marco finally stop panicking. He could easily break this chain, if he wanted to. But he just got curious on how did you surpass the sea. Like this,

Day one

Marco and y/n only drift in the sea.

"okay, since I got my energy back! Let's look for a island to land!" y/n motivated said.

"Really, how did she survive like this, she isn't a pirate, what's her reason for set sailing?" Marco thought as he watch you.

"I can't always call you pretty blue bird thats too long to say, hmm"

"huh? What pretty blue bird? Yoi!"

"hmm?"

Marco only fume out at what you said. He just peck your forehead.

"ow! What's that for?!" y/n asked while rubbing the part he peck with his beak.

Marco just made an angry bird noise which y/n somehow understands.

"I see, you don't like me calling you, pretty blue bird?"

Marco just nod. She just smile at him.

"I see, hahaha, That's weird you understand what I said"

Marco were only stunned but he shake it off.

"I guess, it's not that bad to have a companion to sail with" y/n said. Marco just saw her make a sad face. He just flap his wings, and y/n just look at him.

"are you telling me to cheer up?" y/n asked. It's weird to talk to a bird that it doesn't speak. Marco were only flustered when he act like a bird.

The two just spend two days together in the sea. She were smart based on Marco observation. They finally got something to eat when she caught a lot of fish.

"I remembered that bird eat raw fish, here you go" y/n just give Marco a raw fish. Like hell he eat it, he just peck her forehead with his beak again.

"oww, your a smart bird, can you please stop doing that, when you telling me you don't like something" she said rubbing her forehead that is in pain. She only give Marco a cook fish that she cook.

"you sure are an odd bird, Ao" y/n said and Marco just tilt his head.

"hmm confused? I be naming you, Ao since your blue"

"Oi, oi, don't name me like a you got yourself a pet yoi" Marco said but give up as he only produced bird noise.

Y/n misunderstood and thought he liked the name Ao.

The next day, the two face a stormy weather, y/n just bring Ao to her room so he can be safe while she handle the boat. Marco can see how much you struggle in the sea. But your lucky that you overcome it.

After the stormy weather, she was soak wet by the rain and the splash of the sea waves. She only entered her room to change not bothered by the bird that give her a curious look.

Marco just blush hard when he realized that your going to change. You were unaware that you didn't hesitate to remove your clothes. Marco just saw it, he just saw it. He mentally apologies for trespassing your privacy. He tried not to peek on you. But you just walk in front of him.

"hmm? Wait ao, are you having a famous bird flu?"

"Put on some clothes woman, you shouldn't easily strip in front of a man yoi" Marco said he was still diverting his eyes somewhere else. but he was enchanted by you. You were gorgeous but sometimes crazy. He is annoyed he can't still revert back to his human form. It's been three days and he is still stuck.

"Oh so your a male bird?! That's a new info for me" y/n said seeing how the bird is flustered seeing her half naked. She only pat his head.

"My what a gentleman bird, hahaha" y/n mocking said to Marco.

He couldn't go against her due to how she look like.

Another day had pass and finally they saw an island.

Y/n just remove his chain. As she didn't want to get attachment to it. When she let go of it.

"Your free to go" y/n said and Marco just give her a confused look.

why is she freeing him now?

"I'm sure you need to return to your nest right? I can't grow attachment to a bird I don't know yet"

Marco just peck her forehead hard. It's too late now, after what you two share your abandoning him now?

"oww, what's with you, I am only returning your freedom"

"yoi really stupid sometimes!" Marco said and he just realized that he can talk.

"who are you calling stupid, You pretty blue bird" y/n talked back but her reaction sudden change into a realisation.

Ao just talk...

The bird just talk?!

"Did you just talk to me!?" y/n surprised asked but she still had a expression of disbelief.

"yeah, finally I can speak again" Marco replied but he mutter the last part.

"Just what are you?!"

"I'm Marco the phoenix"

"wait, you had a name?! Phoenix!!! You mean the Mythical Creature phoenix?!"

"whoa, whoa, what's with the sudden excitement yoi" Marco thought to himself.

"I set sail to the sea to search for Mythical Creatures, So awesome!"

"I never thought of her as a fan girl, yoi" he thought while you were staring at him with pure admiration.

"is it true you are a immortal bird? Or you can heal any wounds or injuries!? Are you a 500 year old phoenix? " y/n just bombarded Marco with her Questions.

Marco just put his claw in her shoulder and make her sit.

"Stop asking me unnecessary questions yoi"

"My bad, I got carried away, by the way, Why you didn't talk to me when you can actually talk! That's very mean of you!?"

Marco didn't respond as he didn't want her to know the mistake he did.

"Giving me again the silent treatment, I thought were friends" y/n said.

You think a bird as your friend?

You really are an odd person.

Well if it's really a bird, your a crazy person, but your lucky it's actually a human. So your only an odd peculiar person.

"Your really stupid, yoi" Marco said.

"what did you say!? Me? Stupid!? Your really a mean bird"

"I'm fine with being a mean bird, Rather than become a roasted bird, am I right, y/n?"

Y/n just sweat and sudden feel nervous as she try to play it cool.

"ahahaha, yeah, your right..." she said with a nervous laugh. She remembered that she said it out loud that she will cook him when she find out what species he is.

Marco just narrowed his eyes at her.

"don't tell me she is still planning to cook me yoi" Marco thought to himself.

"hey don't give me that look, I won't cook you! Now that I know what you are, well don't judge me, I was so hungry that time, that I couldn't think straight"

Marco just sigh now that he can finally speak. He can maybe transform back to his human form to end this humiliation.

Being treated as a pet and Bird.

"yeah, yeah"

"Your really are a mean bird"

"I'm not a bird! I'm a human! yoi " Marco said as he is already had enough of y/n calling and treating him as a bird.

Y/n just look at him more surprised than before.

"A-Ao! Turn into a pineapple human!"

------------------------------------------------

Here's the Continuation since I reached the limit words of tumblr.

here:https://hkshirayuki.tumblr.com/post/623895729724866560/the-mythical-creature-2

#one piece #marco x reader #marco the phoenix #marco the pineapple #Whitebeard pirates #One piece x Reader

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