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marvelouslizzie · 10 months

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You're Stuck with Me - Co-written with @notafunkiller

Summary: When you find out your boyfriend's cheating on you with his best friend, you immediately tell Bucky Barnes about the affair and propose revenge sex.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Word Count: 6.9K

Warnings: 18+ smut, cheating, revenge fuck, language, oral sex (female receiving), protected and unprotected sex, praise and degradation mix, pet names, teasing, no mention of y/n

A/n: We are getting a little out of our comfort zone with this story. I hope you will enjoy it.

Please give my lovely co-writer @notafunkiller a follow. She's an amazing writer. You should definitely check her Bucky Barnes stories.

All work is ours, please do not repost or translate without our permission.

Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message us. Unless it’s hate. That’s never welcome.

"Are you sure?" Bucky asks, finishing your bottle of sparkling water. "I don't want you to cry and regret it after."

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” You sound so confident that even you are surprised. “It’s just sex.”

"Just sex." He repeats with his eyebrows raised. "You never seemed to me like the type of girl who would go for just sex, doll."

“Maybe you should’ve paid a little more attention. You would’ve realized you might have the wrong kind of impression.”

"Oh, really?" He leans in amused. "Big words."

“They're not. You just aren’t used to talking to me.”

"You're telling me you're not a commitment girl?" He presses the matter, not believing you even a little. You two might not be friends, but he figured out what type of person you are.

“I’m just saying I won’t regret having sex with you. The rest is your assumption.”

His gaze immediately drops to your chest. "You trust my skills that much?"

You roll your eyes. “Do you have to be this arrogant all the time?”

"Do you have to be a brat all the time?" He doesn't wait for your response, though, as he continues. "Oh wait, you can't help it. Totally in your nature."

“So women who don't stroke your ego are brats? Maybe I just don’t care that much about you. Did you consider that?” There’s a hint of anger in your voice but nothing more. He always manages to challenge you and push your buttons. “Maybe you aren’t the only one who didn’t like those double dates. Get off your high horse.” You add without missing a beat. You realized how bored and uninterested he was then. No matter what topic you were bringing up, he wasn’t open. That’s one of the reasons why you believe he thinks he’s better than anyone.

"Fuck." He shakes his head. "You and that mouth of yours. Do you see me going around and calling women brats?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer. “Those dates were absolutely horrible. Your little boy toy is the biggest loser I've ever met."

“You seem like a guy who would do that. You are not? Ops, wrong assumption I guess.” You make a fake I am sorry face. “He’s not my boy toy but I agree, he’s a big loser.”

He smiles when you finish your sentence, so satisfied. "Why do you enjoy pushing me so much? Does it turn you on?"

“How am I pushing you? Do you think this is pushing?” You don’t budge.

"What is it then?"

“I know you don’t like me and I am just giving you back that same energy.” You tell him the truth. That’s what you always do: you give the same energy people give you. If they are kind, you are kinder. If they are assholes, you are a bigger asshole.

Bucky snorts, running a hand through his hair. "Where was this attitude hidden around him?"

You breathe out loudly, not hiding how bored you are. “Are we gonna talk all night or are we gonna do this?”

He smiles in a way you never saw him smile before he leans in even more, invading your space. "It's been that long, huh?"

You make a face. “You can’t tell me sex with her was great. I saw their little sex tapes.” You can’t deny what he’s just said, but you can deflect.

He gives you the most surprised face. "What?"

“You heard me. If it had been a while for me, then it must have been even longer for you.”

"Indeed." His voice doesn't betray any emotion.

“Then stop belittling me. We both have been having bad sex and we both got cheated on. You aren’t better than me.”

"When did I say that, woman?"

“You always act like you are better than everyone.”

"That's just your assumption." He paraphrases you with the biggest smile on his face

“Prove me wrong then.”

And he does, looking at you for a couple of seconds. When you don't move, he finally grabs you by your chin and kisses you. He's not hesitant or testing, he's literally trying to claim your mouth as he wants to deepen the kiss by licking your bottom lip. When you finally give him access, his hand goes to the back of your neck, the contrast between his soft touch and his passionate way of kissing making you moan.

"Your mouth…"

“What about it?” You ask while still looking at his lips.

He kisses you again, like he's starved, his hand pulling your hair a little more. He tastes like some fresh toothpaste and a little chocolate.

"So sweet, yet so bratty."

“Do you have a thing for brats for something?” You pull him by his collar and kiss him again. He might be an asshole, but he knows how to kiss.

"Maybe just for a special brat."

“What does that mean?” You stop and look into his eyes.

He lets go of your hair and lowers his hands to your waist. "Tell me to stop and I will. Tap me anywhere if you can't talk and I'll stop. Get it?"

“Yeah. Same goes for you. Any lines you don’t wanna cross?”

"Just don't call me by someone else's name." He sighs.

“Fine by me. Don’t use any pet names you used for your ex.”

"I wouldn’t dream of it. What else?" He smirks.

“No degrading.”

"So no my little whore?”

“That doesn’t sound like degrading to me but another rule: Don’t say things you don’t mean. I don’t like that heat-of-the-moment bullshit.”

He seems to like your rules. "God, how did you date that asshole for 5 months?"

“I was just giving that so-called nice guy a chance and it got me here. How did you date that bitch for 8 months?”

"Woah. Bitch? Never heard you referring to a woman like this."

“I never liked her.” You shrug. And she cheated on him. So why not?

"Why?"

“I don’t know. I always thought she was full of herself. Always looking down at people.”

"Like me." He stares at you. "I understand."

“Not like that. She always talks badly about people. Most of the time, behind their backs. She always looks for a way to steal the spotlight. I actually wondered what you saw in her.”

"I won't talk about a woman badly, especially my ex, but I guess we just want to give people a chance."

“That woman cheated on you. With someone she called her best friend after you two decided to move in together. Maybe longer. But sure, make me feel bad about calling her a bitch.”

Bucky seems to think about it for a few seconds. You appreciate his non-talking shit about my ex policy, but in this case? Not deserved. They cheated on you for months. They could have chosen to break up, but they didn't want that. They pretended they are just friends, proposed double dates, lied and hid, and made promises. Your relationships weren't working perfectly well, your sex lives seem very shitty and probably there were signs about this affair, but you cannot blame yourself or Bucky for not seeing them. You deserved the truth. You just can't believe you two are actually in this situation. Giving the wrong people a chance… never again for sure.

"You're right. This is such a fucking shitty thing. I mean, at least fucking break up with me. God, we kissed them, fucked them after they were with each other." He makes a disgusted face.

“So we practically fucked each other already, you know?” You make a joke, trying to change the mood a little. It really is fucked up.

"They didn't see us having sex though." He shakes his head. "They managed to make the lamest sex tapes in history."

“Yeah, I am still traumatized by her fake moans.”

"Fake?" He snorts.

“Yeah, I know how sex is with him. No way those moans are real.”

"Maybe they are. Maybe she enjoys it. She likes him so much they decided this fucking shitty sex is worth it." He leans in and kisses you again suddenly and you don't understand if he's angry because he regrets being with her and getting cheated on or he regrets being betrayed because he wants her so much. You know they fought a lot from your soon-to-be ex, but 8 months are something after all.

You kiss him back nonetheless, enjoying the way his lips and tongue feel. You don't remember the last time you've been kissed this good. If you've ever been with someone like this… he's basically eating you with his mouth.

“It won’t take long for her to regret it. Talking from experience,” you say while kissing him back. You wanna know if he wants her back or not. Not that it matters. You are just curious. Maybe he wants to make her jealous.

"What she wants doesn't matter anymore, doll." He strokes your hair when he stops kissing you so you can take a deep breath. "You called me arrogant, right?"

“Yeah?” You answer hesitantly.

"Do arrogant people ever let themselves be humiliated?" He pauses. "I don't want something like this. Someone like this. I have absolutely no desire to keep a person who does this. I am a patient person, I try to work things out, but this? Never in a fucking million years. Nothing about this relationship was right, I suppose. What about you?"

“I don’t care about him anymore.” Your response comes immediately. You were completely done with him the moment you found out about their affair. There’s no turning back. It was like a switch. That’s why you are here with Bucky. “I tried so hard to make it work, thinking relationships are hard and we gotta put some effort to make it work. All bullshit. I’m done with him. I’m done with lowering my standards. Done with 5-minute sex, and ‘you turn me on so much, I can’t help it’ excuses. There’s no going back for me.”

You see his little smirk and can't help but touch his face. He is really one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever seen.

"I never liked him, and you know it. That small dick energy is unbearable. I think he'd have a heart attack if he even heard us. Can you imagine?"

“I… actually can.” You can envision how that would hurt him and his insufferable ego. “God, she would hate me so much.” You smile.

"Oh, she would. She's always been jealous of you anyway."

“And he hates that you don’t even have to be nice to make people like you. Now he would have an extra reason.”

"Fuck, doll." You feel his thumb on your neck and you shiver. "I'm gonna sound crazy, but wouldn't make you feel satisfied if indeed they heard us?"

You blink, trying to understand his offer. That actually would actually give you pleasure… knowing that he suffers just like you did. You also notice the pet name he uses. You never heard him use it with his (ex) girlfriend, so he’s keeping his promise. “I’d… really like that.”

"Yeah?" He leaves a kiss on the corner of your mouth. "A voice message?"

“Sounds better than actually calling.” You turn your face a little and kiss him on the lips.

"Look at you, you ignored me for months." He bites your bottom lip lightly.

“It wasn’t like you were friendly.”

Does he even hear you?

He takes you in his arms. "Bedroom?"

“Bedroom.” You wrap your legs around his torso in agreement as he leads the way.

"Left?"

“Yeah, hurry up.”

He opens the door with his elbow, then doesn't bother to close it as he lets you down. His hands find your blouse and you hear the ripping sound before you can raise your arms.

You’re surprised but not bothered. Truth be told, you find that very hot. But you still unclip your bra.

“Fucking hell.” He manages to whisper before he leans in and grabs your breasts, his tongue licking all the way down from your neck to your nipple.

You tug on his T-shirt and try to take it off while he’s busy exploring your body.

"You hid these from me."

“Not specifically from you. Move your hands up so I can take this off.”

"From who then?" He frowns and lets go for a second so you can take it off.

“From everyone, of course.”

"God, I wanna come all over them. So pretty.”

“Maybe you should make a mental list. Come on her tits. Come inside her mouth. Come inside her pussy.”

His eyes glow, and you giggle. "Who said I didn't?"

“You did?” You sound impressed. “Wanna share?”

"Wanna share my come? Sure." His fingers find your zipper and you gasp when he takes your pants off from one try.

“Oh, you are filthier than I thought.” You say to cover your surprise.

"You thought about how filthy I am?"

“You think I didn’t consider how this would be before offering a revenge fuck?”

"When?" He takes ahold of your underwear, and you're unsure if he wants to rip it off or simply take it off.

“I just told you.”

"I thought…" He blushes, realizing he misunderstood. It's an asshole move to assume that while you were with that prick, the thought of him like this has even passed your mind. "Forget it."

“No, no, tell me.” You pull him closer by his belt. “Let’s get rid of these.”

"Did you ever think about me before today?" He helps you take off his pants while finally getting rid of your panties.

“What if I did? Does it make me a terrible person?”

"Terrible." He nods, letting the pieces of your underwear drop on the floor along with his boxers and pants before he steps out of them. "So terrible." He kisses you, his hands on your hips, bringing you closer to his cock. You didn't even have proper time to look at him. "The worst."

“I knew it.” You play along. “What about you?”

"I thought about this mouth a lot."

“Just my mouth?” You nudge him by moving your hips up.

"Thought about fucking you in the bathroom."

“When?” Did he really want to fuck you before? He never looked at you twice or at least that’s what you thought.

"A few weeks ago… we… the office. You were with your little group. They were smoking and you wore that fucking lipstick that just blew my mind away. I didn't intend to. You didn't even notice me." He kisses you again but doesn't deepen it.

Everything he said takes you by surprise. You didn’t think that he ever paid attention to you, let alone notice your lipstick and get turned on by it.

“I noticed you, but I thought you were bored. You had a grumpy look on your face most of the time. I liked your blue shirt, though. It makes your eyes pop.”

He moans. Is it so easy to make him moan? you wonder.

"I'm always grumpy and arrogant, of course."

“You don’t seem that grumpy and arrogant right now.” You gently bite his neck and then soothe the spot with your tongue.

"Fucking hell, woman." You feel him grabbing your ass. "Tell me you have a condom."

“In that drawer.” You point to it casually. “But just so you know, I’m on the pills.”

He nods, contemplating for a little while before helping you get on bed and taking a condom from your nightstand.

You don’t question why he chooses to reach for it, yet you can’t help but wonder how it would be like to feel him without any barrier. Your mouth waters at the sight of his naked body.

Maybe, maybe you should let him fuck your mouth, too. Why not?

He quickly puts the condom on and before he can climb on bed, he looks at you. "What you said earlier about the voice message, do you still stand by it?"

You realize you actually forgot about them or why you are doing this for a second. “Yeah. I want them to suffer.”

"Good." He takes his pants from the floor and finds his phone quickly. You didn't even realize he had it when you undressed him.

“So what are we doing exactly? Recording a small part and sending it?”

"Ihm." He nods. "Want that asshole to hear what your real moans sound like." He finally sits on the bed and you spread your legs further apart.

“Only my moans?” You ask while he positions himself.

"No video," he says immediately, and you giggle. That wasn’t your question, but it’s okay. You wonder if he’s being possessive with you already or it's something else.

“I meant what about your moans.”

He smiles. "Yeah, of course, but I'm not a loud person." He drops the phone close to your shoulder. "You, on the other hand… I bet you're a fucking screamer."

“I guess we'll find out. Is it recording already?”

"No, uhm, can you… The code is 0478."

“Let’s start and then we can record when it gets really loud.” You try to sound normal, but you are surprised he's just told you his passcode.

"You sure? We can trim it. I don't want to interrupt you."

"Don't worry. I'm good at multitasking." You give him a smile. "But if you wanna record the whole thing, so you can get off to it later, just say that." You can’t help but tease him a little.

"No, no, it's alright. I just want you to feel good, okay?" He smiles, his hands making their way to your thighs.

"Oh, I will. Don't worry about that." You pull him closer by wrapping your legs around his body. As he pushes inside, you start to forget what you were talking about before.

"Oh, fuck me." He groans when he sees the shape of your mouth. Such a perfect O. You feel so good and he's not even halfway inside you. "You're so wet."

"I can do that." You cheekily respond. "But we would need to change the position." You ignore his second comment.

He kisses you as if he needs to taste you again to be able to breathe, his tongue quickly finding yours once you open your mouth. Your hand gets into his hair at the same time he properly gets inside you.

You moan at the fullness. You haven't felt this stretched for so long, but it doesn't hurt. It just makes you crave more.

"Such a brat when you only needed a good cock." You know he's intentionally teasing you, so you try to find a good response.

"We'll see how good it is."

"Brat." He repeats again and moves his hands to your breast. His thrusts are not constant as he tries to test what you like.

"Put your mouth on them already." You know he wants to. He has been looking at them since he stepped inside your apartment. And you want him to do it, too. The thought itself makes you moan.

"Are you ordering me?"

"Depends. Yes, if you like that. No, if you don't."

He takes a handful of your breast in his mouth in response, not only your nipple, his thrusts getting slower, but a little deeper at the same time. The sound of his tongue licking on your skin makes you close your eyes.

The way he sucks your nipple makes you think he likes taking orders. What a great turn of events, you think.

He switches to the other one quickly, giving it the same treatment, while keeping the pace.

"Do you like it?"

“Yeah, yeah.” You quickly respond. “I love it.”

"Faster?"

“Yep, faster.” You gently push his head onto your breast again, loving the double stimulation.

He moans excitedly as he resumes licking and playing with your breasts, carefully trying to leave a hickey around your nipple. "These are mine now."

He doesn’t mean that, does he? Must be the heat of the moment, but you agreed on not doing that. So you decide to remind him. “Don’t say things you don’t actually mean, remember?”

"I didn't forget, brat. Did you?"

He bites on your nipple, gently, but you still feel it.

“So you actually mean that?” You really want to know, so you ignore the fact that he called you a brat again.

"Mean what?" He leaves a kiss on your nipple to soothe any possible pain. "That these are mine?"

“Yeah.” You sound impatient. Why is he acting clueless now?

"They are, they belong to me. So does your bratty mouth." He kisses you shortly.

You can’t deny how his words turn you on even more.

"I imagined fucking you in a bathroom that day at the office." He groans. "So terrible of me, right? Imagining you with come dripping out of you, down to your thighs as you go back to work. Months of petty silence solved."

“If I'd known my silence bothered you that much, I would have been even more silent until it drove you crazy enough to do something about it.” You move your hips up to match his rhythm. “I just thought you just preferred not speaking to me because you didn’t like me.”

"I would have screwed everything up and fucked you, you understand?" He looks you in the eye, making it clear he is honest. "I would have become a horrible person, but not even that thought would have made me reconsider."

“Yet you didn’t do anything, did you? You never acted on it. You were just a grumpy man with terrible thoughts.” You just want him to know he’s not a horrible person, yet you can’t help but tease him a little at the same time.

"And you just needed the cock of that grumpy man with terrible thoughts, huh?" His thrusts are so much faster now. You wonder: how the fuck does he expect you to answer?

All you can do is whine and moan because somehow he manages to hit all the right places.

"My little cock whore." He groans. "Mine, okay? Just like I am yours."

“Jesus fucking Christ.” You can’t help but react. You find it so hot you can barely stay still. The way he talks during sex… They would really die if they heard you two. That makes you remember… You were supposed to hit the record button.

"Just Bucky. Or James."

“Where the fuck is your phone, Bucky?” You ask while trying to find it without actually looking.

He's confused for a split second, but then he remembers what you agreed on. "To your right."

You finally find the phone and unlock it quickly before dropping it without any care as soon as it starts to record.

"Oh, doll, you're too wet for me. So good." The sound of your skin slapping and the whimpers are so loud. You can’t contain yourself even if you try.

“Faster, please,” you say without thinking. It feels like you are already close. You don’t care if you have to beg for it.

"So greedy." He cries out when he feels your hands on his ass, pulling him deeper inside you.

“Fuckk. That feels good!” You moan loudly and arch your back.

"Holy shit."

He suddenly stops, making you open your eyes and giving him an accusatory look, but then you notice the phone in his hands. Oh, you forgot about it for a second and you have no idea why.

"Are you sending it?"

"Ihm." He doesn't just lock his phone after he is done. He freaking turns it off, surprising you. “I don’t want any interruptions. Want to fuck you in peace.”

You just pull him into another kiss, more passionate this time. You feel his right hand on your tummy, tickling you a little, before stopping down, above your clit.

“You close?” You ask him to make sure because you surely are.

"I'm trying not to come," he says honestly.

“Oh, you can. I’m close, too. I just need it a little faster.” His hand on your clit already makes you realize it won’t take much for you to fall apart.

He pulls back, taking his cock almost completely out, and the emptiness makes you whine. Then he thrusts with full force, making you moan so loudly that you can’t recognize your own voice.

"Fuck, look at you. And those sounds…" He brings his thumb to your lips. "Come on, be a good girl and show me how your pretty little mouth would take my cock. The one that's inside your pussy right now, ready to come for you."

“Such a filthy mouth.” You say while moaning. “Come with me so I can take that cock inside my mouth and show you what it can do.”

"God, come, baby. Please come." He is begging you at this point. His voice is so desperate and soft.

His neediness, the way he says those words finally pushes you off the edge.

“Oh god.” You try to breathe as the orgasm takes over your body, making you shake. Your mouth opens, letting out the most unfiltered moan you've ever heard from yourself. It is pure pleasure with no thoughts, no worries. Your heart and your head are on fire, begging for more. You want this feeling to last as long as possible.

He comes shortly after you, but you don't realize it until you hear his loud groan vibrating against your chest. His hips and ass cheeks are trembling under your touch as he seems lost in his world for a few seconds. You run your fingers through his hair, waiting for him to come down from his high.

“Oh god, baby." You feel his breath on your wet skin and you sigh. "Can I live here forever?"

“That good?” You can’t help but ask. He can feel your smile without looking at you.

He looks up. "Ihm. What about you?"

“Wanna get your ego stroked?” You ask genuinely. “Promise that you’re not gonna use it against me.”

He kisses your throat. "I don't make such promises, woman."

“Then you won’t get to hear it.” You expose your throat more while talking.

"What if I eat the truth out of you?"

“Eat the truth out of me?”

"Ihm. You know… when you're under sex spell, you become truthful."

“You are welcome to try.” There’s no way you are gonna turn down another orgasm like this one.

"Perfect." He leaves another kiss on the valley between your breasts and sighs. "Have to take this off first," he says, taking his cock out with a small hiss before standing up near the bed, watching you. "Where can I throw this away?"

“There’s a trashcan in the bathroom.” You point at it while getting more comfortable on the bed.

"Be right back."

You feel something cold on your back and realize it’s his phone. You put it on the nightstand, thinking about how he turned his phone off in the middle of the sex. You make a mental note to ask him to send you that voice message later, so you can remember how good the sex felt.

He comes back with your small semi-wet towel and watches you carefully. "Look, I meant what I said about eating the truth out of you, but only if you are okay with it. I won't ask again. I could always just leave, you know? No big deal." But you can see in his face it would be a big deal. Maybe he likes your company. The sex is amazing.

“Do you wanna leave, Bucky?” You already know his answer.

"No, I don't."

“Then come here and do whatever you wanna do.”

He doesn't need to be told twice. You watch him drop to his knees and, at the same time, drag you closer to the edge of the bed as quickly as he can. You let out a surprised gasp, but it turns into a whole moan when he lifts your legs on his shoulders and starts licking you from your entrance to your clit.

“Fuck, you weren’t joking.”

He acknowledges your words by playing with his tongue around your clit. You move your hips slowly, up and down, just to create a little more friction. Your greed grows while you watch him eagerly lick every bit of your pussy.

You don't expect to feel his fingers at your entrance all of the sudden as you're focused on his tongue. And you especially don't expect him to curl two of his fingers and get them inside you at once. No warnings.

“Oh fuck, yes!” You find yourself grabbing his hair, just needing something to hold on to.

And he moans, buckling his hips in the air at the slight pain. The pace of his fingers matches his tongue, but it's not enough.

“Add the third finger.” You sound desperately close.

He is surprised, you can sense it, but he quickly does what you say, his tongue eagerly toying with your clit faster than before.

“I’m so close!” You warn.

He stops licking for a little and you try to move your hips to meet his mouth. What the fuck is he doing? No time for edging.

"What were you gonna say, doll? What did you think it would stroke my ego?"

“What?” You raise on your elbows, looking like a mess. “Really?”

"If you want my tongue, you give me an answer."

“You are unbelievable!” You sound so betrayed.

"I warned you not to cry, doll."

You really want to keep that thought to yourself, but the ache between your legs doesn’t care about your pride. “I can’t believe you are doing this right now.”

He gives you a small smile, and you see him leaning in again. You think you won, getting more comfortable, ready to come soon, but he only licks you twice, teasingly, and lets your clit go.

"Do what?"

You whine loudly. The feeling of his tongue lingers on your clit. “You wanna play dirty?” Maybe you can’t win this fight, but it doesn’t mean you can’t win others. “Fine.” You sit up a little, looking into his eyes. “It was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. Happy now?”

"Delighted. Now was it so hard? You get a reward for being my good and honest girl."

“Yeah, whatever.” You roll your eyes.

"Fucking brat," you hear him whisper right before his tongue finds your clit again, finally licking it in circles properly. He starts to move his fingers, too, and even though they are obviously not even close to the thickness of his cock, they feel incredible.

But you are too annoyed now, at the same time. A part of you just wants to hold back and not give him the pleasure of hearing you come. So he tries harder. You hear him whimpering as he takes your clit into his mouth, sucking on it. And you swallow a moan while your legs are trembling.

"Come on, baby." His fingers move faster, too. "Let it go."

Your whole body starts to shake uncontrollably, but you keep your moans to yourself, pressing your lips together tightly just out of spite. You can see he hates it, but he doesn't stop until you finish coming. And it feels amazing, but you are sure it would have been even better if you had let yourself enjoy it freely.

He sighs into your clit and leaves a kiss there before he stands up. "You're mad."

“No shit, Sherlock.”

"Ah, doll. Nothing can tame that mouth."

“More like actions and consequences. I wasn’t ready to share that, but you forced me to say it for an orgasm, so that’s what you get. An orgasm. Nothing more, nothing less.”

"Forced?" His face shows concern as he sits next to you. "That wasn’t my intention. The last thing I want is to make you feel trapped.” He seems like he’s confused. He looks around and meets your gaze again. “Do you want me to leave?"

“If you wanna leave, just leave, but if that wasn’t really your intention, you can start with apologizing.”

"I am sorry," he immediately says, taking your hands into his. "I was just trying to… be silly I guess."

“You wanted your ego stroked, I get it. We both need it after what happened, but… I don’t know. I just felt exposed.”

"I'm sorry." He kisses your cheek. "I might be a grumpy arrogant son of a bitch, but forcing…"

You start to tear up, hearing him say sorry this quickly. Fucking relationship trauma.

"Oh god, baby, I am sorry, I didn't…" he tries to wipe your tears with his thumbs. "I'm a jackass, but I swear I wasn't trying to force you. I thought it was just a game. My bad."

“No, no. This is on me. Sorry.” You try to take a deep breath. “He just never said sorry no matter how hurt I was. He always had an excuse. This is just… trauma I guess.”

"What a fucking douchebag. I can fuck him up really good, you know?" He suggests. "Just say the words."

“He’s probably already fucked up by the fact that we are fucking.” That thought cheers you up a little.

"His face deserves it, too." Bucky puffs and kisses your wet cheeks. "To be honest, this whole should I leave question comes from my relationship trauma, too. So you’re not alone. She either wanted me to leave or she left every fucking time we disagreed on something. She once threw my shoes out of the window just so I'd go. I don't know why we kept trying…"

“Oh.” You finally understand why he keeps offering to leave. It isn't about you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I thought you were just trying to get out when things get hard.”

"Don't be sorry. I prefer to talk on the spot, to be honest. Letting everything out is healthier. Don't "

“Or take a break whenever it’s needed. Doesn’t mean you have to leave though.”

"Yeah! Exactly."

You laugh a little. You never realized how similar you two are. Today is changing your perspective completely. “Your apology is accepted by the way, but under one condition.”

"What is that?'

“Tell me something about yourself that you don’t want me to know.”

He thinks for a second. "My breath smells like death in the morning. I can make your plants die if you let me."

You shake your head, amused. “That’s not good enough. Everyone’s breath smells bad in the morning.”

"What do you wanna know then?"

“Something on the same level of having your best orgasm.”

"I think you broke me."

“What?”

"You broke me." He repeats as if that is an explanation.

“In what way?”

He kisses you just as desperately as he did in the kitchen, as if this is the first time he kisses you and he can't ever get enough. "I want you for more than one time, do you understand?"

“Oh. Well… That can be arranged.”

"Yeah?" He drags you by your hips, placing you on top of his thighs.

“I would actually like that.”

He kisses you some more, letting his hands wander all over your body, stopping especially on your neck and breasts.

"You like it rough, don't you? Not complaining about me ripping your clothes off, loving the bites." He pulls your hair, just to prove his point in case you deny. You moan.

“Yeah, apparently you like it rough, too.” You don’t deny. Why would you?

"Of course I do, brat." He then turns you around suddenly. "All fours, please."

“Since you asked so nicely,” You stop for the dramatic effect and say as sarcastically as possible: “Boss.”

"Wanna make me your boss?"

“You are already acting like one.” You stand on all fours, pushing your ass back while lowering your head.

"Fuck! You're such a sight, you know?" Bucky's eyes don't leave your body.

“Am I?”

"I wanna look at you like this all day long."

You look at him amused. “I’m afraid I don’t have that much patience.”

You notice him shaking his head. "Of course."

“It’s rude to make me wait like this, you know?”

"Sorry, just wanted to remember this." Bucky feels a little bad for the thoughts he has. He mentally took a picture of you cause he can't ask this from you, right? You're not a couple, and even if you were, it doesn't mean exchanging or keeping photos like this would be okay.

His hips touch your ass as he positions himself at your entrance. "Any limits that come to your mind? I won't ask again."

“We already decided on the rules. I don’t think there’s anything besides them.”

"I'm not gonna hold back this time." Not completely… he grabs a handful of your hair as he thrusts inside you. "I'm gonna pound the fuck out of you and you're gonna take it like a good little girl, understand?"

“I understand. You won’t stop until I say stop.”

"Jesus Christ." He moans halfway inside you at the feel of your extra wet pussy. He feels out of breath just by standing still. "How…"

“Oh, fuck.” You nearly choke. It feels unbelievably good. This position is doing wonders.

"I didn't think-" he says, but at the same time doesn't move an inch. "Fuck, it feels too good, this pussy is driving me crazy. You are driving me crazy." He grips your hair harder without warning and starts to thrusts properly inside you, making sure to squeeze your left breast with his free. The sounds of your wet skin slapping make him curse under his breath.

“You didn’t think what?” You sound out of breath already.

"I cannot fuck you with condoms again." Technically he can, but he doesn’t want to.

You smile widely. “Why is that?”

"Because I am completely fucked."

“You like it that much?”

"Like it?" He puffs, unamused, and starts to finally pound you the way he imagined a few weeks ago. Maybe even harder.

“Oh, fuck!” Yep, he’s right. You are fucked, too.

"You might need to fix me very often, you know?" He drops his hand from your hair just to properly grab your hips. You can barely keep your position like this, his thrusts are so deep.

“Fix you?”

"Yeah. Fix my cock." Oh, that’s what he means.

“We can fix each other then.”

"Ihm." He doesn't say much after this, too focused on kissing your back and keeping the pace at the same time. He's ready to come any minute.

“Harder, Bucky. Please!” You need to come. Really desperately.

"How much harder?" He thrusts a little harder. "More or like this?"

“As hard as you can.”

He doesn't disagree with you, but you know he's holding back even when he pushes harder. And harder. And harder.

"I'm gonna come," he manages to moan. "Fuck I'm gonna come inside you, gonna make a mess. Tell me you… t-tell me you want my come."

“I want your come, Bucky, please. p Please, come with me!” You are already shaking uncontrollably.

"Fuck." That's all you get from him before he's coming, his fingers digging so hard into your skin that you moan again, dizzy from your orgasm.

He keeps moving, making a mess, indeed. It’s already dripping out, you can feel it.

"I came so much." You hear him say suddenly through fogginess.

You smile, resting your head on the bed still, feeling unable to move.

"Not gonna say anything?"

“I died and went to heaven.” You murmur. The orgasm is still running through your veins, making you twitch here and there.

"I've been in heaven for a while."

You finally turn around and look at him. “It was so fucking good.”

"No words." He slowly gets out of you and you notice how happy he is, not taking his eyes off your pussy. "It's gonna start dripping… all over your thighs and sheets. What a nice mark." He even brings a finger to your entrance and pushes back some come.

“Do you have a breeding kink or something?” You smile while asking.

"A breeding kink?"

“Yeah, do you know what it is?”

"Something to do with my come inside you?" He teases. His confusion seems to fade away.

“Yeah, and getting me pregnant.”

He groans, closing his eyes.

“They do that pushing the come back inside thing most of the time.”

"I guess I have a breeding kink." He smiles, accepting it instantly, and finally closes the gap to kiss you. "You might not get rid of me now."

“I knew it!” You point at him with your finger. “I wasn’t gonna get rid of you anyways.”

"Wanna keep me as your boy toy?"

“You wanna be my boy toy?” Your whole face lights up.

"You look quite excited."

“I never had a boy toy before.”

"No?" He shakes his head. "Time to change that. And as your boy toy, I should always make sure you're having a good time." He surprises you by spreading your legs again.

“No, no, no, no. It’s my turn.”

Bucky shakes his head. "Need to get you clean, and then we can do whatever you want, alright?"

“You are really something else.” You sound amazed.

He smirks. "And you're stuck with me. You're all mine now."

You don't get to say anything anymore as you feel his tongue at your entrance. So you just grab his hair, closing your eyes, your exes long forgotten.

“And you are all mine.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #sebastian stan #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky x reader #bucky x you #my stories #you're stuck with me #co written with notafunkiller

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tardis--dreams · 2 years

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My brain is flawless because I read the sentence

돈이 없어서 카메라를 못 사요.

And instead of applying logic to it, i just translated it to "Because Tony isn't here, I/he can't buy the Camera." and was confused but just accepted that tony was super important for the decision to buy camaras.

Now, then I read the sentence 돈이 없어서 택시를 못 타요. And got even more confused as to why that poor girl can't take a taxi without here good friend Tony.

Can someone get me a new brain please

#It's not like i don't know the word 돈 #It's also not like I'm unfamiliar with the concept of subject postpositions #It's also not like in that book almost without exception they add 씨 to every name #But because i read it out loud my brain just was 'tony! Tony is important! Idk why but he is'#It took me like 2 minutes to get it after I read ANOTHER sentence where Tony wasn't there and I realized #Hey not being able to this might actually be a money problem~#Brain dead #ALSO #what's SUPER annoying is that I have that new thing where i misspell 안 and make 인 out of it #Like i catch myself most of the time and it'd be fine if that happened Once #But it never happened before and now i seemingly do it in 85% of all cases #I Hate my brain for that nonsense #Sorry #Gotta rant about my poor Korean skills #(they Are really bad #But THESE two particular examples are just stupid because I KNOW better but still make mistakes #(although is still think Tony is quite funny lmao. I'm just glad i didn't have to translate that in class #That would have been embarrassing))#shut up amy

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thefallennightmare · 4 months

Text

Just Pretend-nineteen

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: I realized today that Sarah and I have been working on this story for almost TWO MONTHS. Holy shit. Talk about a slow burn! I don't think it's ever taken me this long to write an active story. Also, there are a few sentences in Greek and Italian in this chapter. You can find the translations at the end of the chapter.

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid @casangel1986 @qualityvoidcollectorsblog @myownthoughts12 @jilliemiw86 @bellaboo967 @halloweenaesthetic

NOAH

My knee bounced in a tangent along with the clock on the wall behind Dr. Poulos as she tilted her head towards me, waiting for my answer.

“I’m sorry, what was the question?” I blinked slowly.

She gave me a small smile, tapping her pen on her notebook; something I’ve realized she did when she was ready to ask me a hard-hitting question.

“How have the panic attacks been?” Dr. Poulos wondered.

“Uh,” I rubbed my jaw. “It’s been better, I suppose. I still feel them starting every once in a while but my friends have been great at helping me through them.”

“That’s great,” she smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. I know it was a problem for you from our first session.”

“Yeah, I’ve come to realize there were a few aspects of my life that hindered me more than helped me.”

Dr. Poulos’ brows raised. “Like what?”

“Up until recently, I would drink; a lot. And smoke weed every so often. People say it’s the lesser of the drugs but it affected me in such a way that I didn’t like the man I saw in the mirror. Same with the alcohol. So, I’ve decided to become sober.”

That spread a wider smile on her face. “I’m proud of you, Noah. It’s not an easy thing to overcome but to see how determined you are makes me very happy.”

I ran my hands over my thighs while standing up straighter on the couch; her positive praise made my heart beat a bit faster.

“I just want to be the healthiest I can be. Your body is a temple, ya know? It’s only been a few weeks but I can already tell a difference in the way I sing.”

“That’s exceptional, Noah. I’m happy to hear that. It’ll help the course of your life. But I must ask, do you feel it’ll leave a part of you open and willing to accept the love you think you deserve?”

I pursed my lips. “What do you mean?”

“Well, as you mentioned previously, it sounds like Y/N has had some complicated relations with a man who was in a state of addiction. Do you feel that maybe, a part of your being sober can help you leave that part finally open? Allow you to see that you can be loved.”

When I remained silent, letting her words rest in my mind, Dr. Poulos shut her notebook and set it on the table between us; next to one of those sand zen garden things.

“What you're doing with Bailey and hiding your true feelings for Y/N doesn't seem to be helping, right?”

I shook my head with a long sigh. “I never meant for things to go this far.”

Dr. Poulos leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees, stippling her fingers.

“Has Y/N ever given you a reason to doubt the things you say to her?”

“No. Never,” I answered without missing a beat.

“Then what’s stopping you from telling her how you feel?” She brushed a strand of brown-graying hair from her eyes.

With Dr. Poulos’ words replaying in my mind, I sat down on the steps of her office while clicking on Bailey’s contact name on my phone. As it rang, I tapped my fingers on my knee to drum a random beat.

“Hey, it’s Bailey. Leave me a message!’

Cursing to myself, I wished that she had answered because I didn’t want to do this with her voicemail but I had no other option. This needed to be done.

“Bailey, it’s me- Noah,” I sighed while pinching my eyes shut. “Listen, I didn’t want to do this over text or on your voicemail. But I thought it best you hear me say this. I wanted to discuss it with you the other day but shit came up.”

My eyes watched as a few people walked past on the sidewalk in front of me.

“Look, I never wanted to hurt you, you’re a nice girl but this-us-isn’t working for me. I’m-I’m sorry if this hurts you. Truly. I’m not good at words all the time but I will say that I wish you the best and I hope you have a nice life.”

After hanging up, I could physically feel the weight lift off my shoulders and heart. Breathing was easier and lighter, so with this newfound feeling, I quickly dialed Y/N’s number.

“Mochi!”

I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Hi, angel. Are you busy?” I asked while rising from the steps to walk a few steps to my car that was parked in the street.

“I’m walking into an appointment right now. Can I call you later?”

Ignoring the way my heart dropped, I started my car and sat there for a moment.

“Of course. I’ll be in the studio but I’ll always answer for you.” My hand ran over the steering wheel.

“So sweet,” Y/N chuckled and my stomach fluttered. “There’s a reason why I gave you that nickname.”

We quickly said our goodbyes and my mind was filled with the heavy conversation I needed to have with Y/N. I didn’t even realize the familiar figure bounding up the steps of the same office I left mere minutes ago, her yellow sundress flowing in the wind.

READER

My eyes were trained on the small sand zen garden on Dr. Poulos’ table as she tapped her pen against the notebook in her lap. The clock ticked annoyingly loudly behind her, almost mocking me as I continued to leave her question unanswered.

“Y/N,” Dr. Poulos’s voice was firm, breaking me from my trance. “You mentioned your mother contacted you the other day?”

I played with the hem of my yellow sundress. “Uh, yeah. She doesn't do it often but when she does, she really lets her feelings known.”

“And what are those feelings?”

“The same bullshit. My mom doesn’t agree with the lifestyle I’ve chosen. She thinks it's a waste of time,” I shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s who she is. Being Greek, I was raised to have large but realistic dreams. My father on the other hand wanted and still wants me to follow my heart, he wants me to go after what I want, what I need. There’s a line between both of them.”

“You know,” Dr. Poulos tucked a strand of her brown-graying hair behind her ear. “There’s a study that says insecure attachment styles can develop as a result of poor parenting. Research indicates that attachment in childhood affects the development of familial, social, and romantic relationships later in life. Do you feel this has deeply affected or influenced your relationships?

I pursed my lips. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ve had a pattern of falling for men who aren't good for you yet believing they are real love when you know subconsciously you deserve better.”

“Maybe,” the word trailed off my lips, uncertainty weighing heavy on my heart.

Dr. Poulos hummed, crossing one leg over the other. “It sounds that way, doesn’t it? Are you running from Noah because you’re afraid you’ll disappoint him? Afraid he’ll do what your mother often does? You’ve seen the way your parent's marriage was like growing up, that has to be a hindering factor, doesn't it?

My jaw ticked. “My mother was unfair to my father. I’d never do that or treat anyone that way.”

“I know you won’t, Y/N. You know it yourself, deep down in your heart,” she patted a hand over her own heart. “Because from what you told me about Noah, I don’t believe that he would act the way your mother has. You won’t disappoint him. And he doesn’t want to do that to you either.”

I shook my head widely. “He’s with someone else so it doesn't even matter.”

A small smile lifted at the corner of her lips. “Quite the contrary, Y/N. You said it earlier you wanted to tell him the truth. He isn’t your mother and again, from what you’ve told me it sounds like you both may want the same things. You’re just not trusting yourself. You’re relying on your trauma and issues with your mother to get in the way.”

“Wow, nice observation,” I snorted. “How am I supposed to fix that?”

Dr. Poulos ignored my snarky attitude. “If your mother has been unreliable, then you may need to lean on other people who are for support. Socializing with friends and learning to be vulnerable with others can help increase emotional connection.”

“Malcolm and Chase are reliable,” I stated.

“It sounds like it, from what you’ve told me,” she nodded. “There’s also Noah. His support can take some time to develop but having stable relationships with others can be part of healing. And most of all, self-care.”

I left therapy with a hopeful heart and bright smile. Dr. Poulos always knew what I needed to hear as much as I tried to fight it. Peaking down at my phone, my pulse quickened when I noticed a missed text from Noah.

Mochi 🍡: New episode of Attack on Titan dropped. I can pick up lunch. Your place or mine?

Giggling, I typed out my response, not letting anything ruin this euphoric high I felt.

NOAH

I stood outside Y/N’s front door, shaking out the nerves, and knocked on it. I had a bag of take-out food in my hand, something she requested from her favorite burrito place.

“Hi,” she smiled while letting me in. “Did you remember the Dr. Pepper?”

I chuckled while holding up the cup. “Light ice.”

As we set out the food on the table in their dining room, I motioned towards the various easels and splattered pain on the carpet. “Studio?”

“Yeah,” Y/N gave a sheepish smile. The lighting in here is better than my bedroom; although not by much.”

I took in the various paintings of abstract lines and colors, some of random landscapes, and one of Salem.

“These are really good, angel.”

“I’m glad I decided to do this. Painting has been a great way to escape from reality, even for a little bit,” she took a bite of her burrito. “Oh, extra guac? How’d you know?”

I shrugged. “I just do.”

We ate in silence for the next few long moments and as much as I tried to quiet the loud voices in my mind that screamed at me to tell Y/N the truth right now, it was extremely difficult.

My eyes took in the glimmer of her bracelet as she reached for the chips and I couldn't stop the smile that spread wide to my lips. Y/N was still wearing the jewelry I bought her and it made me feel proud.

“Where’s Chase and Malcolm?” I asked, noticing the quiet.

Y/N took a large drink of her soda, reveling in the taste. “Hiking. They left earlier this morning and typically don’t come back till later. So I have the place to myself.”

Just as I was about to speak, a persistent knock sounded on the front door, and she turned towards it with a confused stare.

“Expecting anyone?”

She shook her head. “Nope. Probably someone selling Girl Scout cookies.”

“If they have Thin Mints, I’ll take four boxes,” I called after Y/N.

Her laugh echoed throughout the room but soon seized when she opened the door. I noticed the way her body went rigid and I slowly rose in time to see a tall but petite brunette all but push her way inside.

“Hi, koukla. I would have texted or called but it seems like you have an issue with checking your phone,” the lady peered around the space, a sour look on her lips.

“Mo-mom? What are you doing here?”

Shit.

I knew there was a history with Y/N’s mom but never knew how deep it ran.

“I was in town and thought to surprise you. Since you never talk to me anymore,” her mom tsked.

Finally, her eyes landed on me, standing in the threshold of the living room and dining room; gaze hardening.

“Who’s this?” She asked Y/N.

Internally I snorted at how she asked Y/N rather than asking me.

“I’m Noah,” I introduced myself while brushing away the strands from my face.

Her mom hummed before nodding towards the back end of the house. “Give me and my daughter some privacy.”

“Mom!” Y/N seethed.

Noticing how the tension shifted, I gave Y/N a soft smile. “It’s alright. I’ll go say hi to Salem.”

With my back to them, I walked down the hall and heard her mom mutter something in Greek.

“Giatí échei makriá malliá?”

“Eísai apísteftos,” Y/N responded in a stern voice.

Sitting in the Y/N’s bedroom with Salem perched on my lap, I left the door wide open so I could listen in on the conversation. It may have been wrong to eavesdrop but something deep inside of me told me to be on edge, just in case.

“You should have called, Mom,” Y/N said.

“You never return my calls.”

“Gee, I wonder why. You exactly haven’t been that peachy the last few times we’ve talked.” I could hear the slight edge in Y/N’s voice.

“I thought I’d told you I don’t appreciate the way you speak to me.”

“It’s a two-way street, Mom. You get what you give.”

Salem purred loudly in my lap and I continued to scratch him in the spot I knew he loved; between his ears.

“I’ve always hated when your father used that line,” her mother sighed.

Someone was pacing, their footsteps echoing loudly down the hall, and I peered down at Salem.

“Your mom seems pretty upset right now,” I frowned at the feline.

His bright green eyes stared back at me, simply demanding one thing silently; more pets to which I obliged.

“Have you been to the doctor lately?”

“Since when do you care, Mom? You never ask how I’m doing.”

Salem jumped off of me when I slowly rose to my feet, deciding that I needed to be closer to Y/N, just in case.

“I know how bad Endometriosis affects you, Y/N. I’m simply wondering.”

I could almost hear Y/N roll her eyes as I neared the end of the hallway, out of sight but could still see just enough. Y/N stood with her hands on her hips while her mom sat comfortably on the couch.

“I’m fine.” Y/N kept her answers short.

Her mother pursed her lips. “And how’s the career?”

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes at the way she said career.

Y/N snorted. “Please, like you give a shit.”

“Watch your language!”

“You’ve never supported me with my music. Hell, with any of my dreams. So don’t start acting like you give a shit now.

Her mom rose to her feet, narrowing her gaze. “That’s not true. I only want what’s best for you, Y/N. You don’t want to end up like your father and be stuck.”

“He wasn’t stuck,” Y/N scoffed while clenching her fists.

Her mother clicked her tongue while brushing away Y/N’s hair from her face. “Yes, sweetie, he was. And I’m telling you, no man will want to deal with someone that’s always on the road. What man is going to wait around or understand this lifestyle? What future are you gonna have?”

My jaw clenched at hearing those words because I knew it wasn’t true. There was a man who wanted Y/N; me. I would wait for years if I had to. Whenever she was ready, I’d be here.

But hearing how her mom talked to her made me realize that there was a reason why Y/N never spoke of her and why she was so apprehensive of any future relationship.

“We’re not talking about this,” Y/N stepped away from her mom to stand on the other end of the couch, giving more space between them.

“Once again, you’re avoiding a tough subject. I didn’t raise you this way,” her mother chastised.

Y/N’s jaw dropped. “Raised me? Are you fucking kidding me? You barely were home, too busy focusing on your career leaving Dad home to raise me!”

I smirked at hearing Y/N mock her mother in how she said career moments before.

“Your father was always your favorite. But it was me you stayed with after the divorce!” Her mother's voice was raised.

Fearing this would end in such a bad way, I pulled my phone to send a text to Chase.

Me: Y/N’s mom is here and I’m afraid shit is about to hit the fan. What should I do?

His response came almost immediately.

Chase: Fuck. Whatever you do, Noah. Don’t leave. Stay until we get there. Every time her mom either contacts her or shows up, Y/N goes into a dark place. Malcolm and I are leaving right now and should be back in an hour.

I swallowed thickly as my stomach dropped. If the guys were worried about Y/N’s mom being here, it could only mean one thing.

Disaster.

“I stayed with you because you made me feel guilty!” Y/N choked on a sob. “For years I wondered why I didn’t feel a connection with you so I thought staying with you would bring us closer. But instead, you dropped the you’re adopted bomb on me; on my birthday!”

Her mother had the audacity to shrug.

“You probably would have found out eventually. I simply sped up the process.”

Y/N shook her head. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Because I tell the truth? You think people are going to stay with you with the lifestyle you’ve chosen?”

“Oh, gods, we’re back on this again?” Y/N ran a hand through her hair. “I have a lot of people that support me.”

“Who? Your friend?” Her mom pointed a firm finger towards the hallway where I was still hiding around the corner. “Do you think he is going to wait around?”

For years if I have to.

“No. No one will, Y/N. You’re like your father with these pipe dreams.”

“Pipe dreams? I didn’t realize wanting a family was a pipe dream,” Y/N spat.

Her mother gave her a somber smile, clicking her teeth. “Kouklamou, I thought we talked about this. You can’t have a family, not the traditional way anyway. You need to realize that no man is going to want to go through all that trouble to have a child. It’s not worth it.”

Y/N and I both flinched at the same time, those words almost verbatim with what Trey used to say to her. There I stood, my fists clenched by my sides, I rolled my shoulders back, glaring towards the petite brunette with dark eyes.

I was feeling triggered while I observed this entire thing; it felt intrusive at first but now feels like I’m behind fifty feet of glass.

It made sense now, why this loving bond between Y/N and I was inaccessible. In this mode, I had to take great care not to damage these bonds of love, this relationship, this friendship, and this woman in front of me, who very early on became everything to my heart and soul. For in time, the glass disappeared and my love returned stronger.

I understood.

From my corner, I could see how the kitchen table had seen every emotion, from the sweet silent happiness of family times, when the only sound is contented enjoyment, to the rage that bursts out in the hard times; I understood.

I refused to stand there and let it sour, not to her. Never to her.

Sobs played like a sad tune and I noticed Y/N was crying, hastily whipping away the tears.

“I can’t believe I continue to let you in my life, knowing how you’ll treat me. Girls are supposed to look up to their mothers as idols, to learn from them how to be mothers. But you’ve shown me how not to treat my kids in the future.”

“We’ve talked about this, Y/N. The chances of you becoming a mother are not in the cards for you. Neither is this musical career. You need to face reality.”

Fuck this.

As I stepped into view of them, Y/N pointed to the front door. “I don’t need you to come in here and tell me how to run my life, I’m done with this.”

“Y/n-.”

“You heard her,” I spoke while standing next to Y/N, immediately wrapping my arm around her shoulder to pull her into my chest.

My heart broke at how quickly she grasped onto my shirt, not wanting me to let her go.

“Excuse me? This is a private matter between my daughter and me. This doesn't concern you,” her mom’s eyes sliced into me.

“It does. Because it’s Y/N.”

Her mom’s gaze bounced between the two of us, almost waiting for Y/N to object to my words, but instead, she stood firm, sniffing away her tears.

“You need to leave.”

With one final glare, Y/N’s mom snatched her purse off the couch while muttering something Greek under her breath before she slammed the door behind her; all the negative energy leaving in waves.

“Y/N,” I tried to make her look at me but she kept her head cast down.

“I can’t, Noah,” she cried.

I lifted her chin with a firm finger and sucked in a breath as broken, bloodshot eyes stared back at me.

“Don’t ever hide from me, angel. You know that.”

Y/N kept her gaze firm on my face. “She does this every time. I don’t know why I continue to let her. I’m just a girl who wants her mother's love, is that so wrong?”

“Angel,” I murmured while pulling her into my embrace, brushing a kiss across her forehead.

NOAH

My fingers drummed against the marble counter in front of me while Davis set out various ingredients. We were currently streaming the two of us cooking BLTs, something for the fans to enjoy and watch. I was reading some of the comments, smiling at a few then cringing at some others.

Davis handed me a block of cheese. “Cut this up for me, would ya?”

With it in one hand, I playfully spit on my hand before giving it a nice smack.

“Hm, imagining that someone's ass?” He smirked under his breath.

I gave him a light shove. “Fuck off.”

We spent the next long while goofing off and having fun for the stream. It was nice to let my mind focus on something else besides Y/N and her mom. I spent the rest of the night at her place, holding her in my arms as she cried herself to sleep. The familiar scent of her lingered on me as I tucked her softly in her bed. Before I walked out of her house, I ran into Chase and Malcolm, whose parting words stuck with me all day.

“She needs you more than she’ll admit. It may not seem like it but she does.”

Y/N texted me this morning to thank me for being there for her and say that if she went M.I.A for a while today, it’s only because Hollow Souls were in the studio recording. I didn't ask how she was feeling after the surprise visit from her mom. Y/N would tell me, if she wanted to, when she was ready.

“Alright, let’s read some comments,” Davis suggested as we finished up the cook-off; me winning.

He held Max in his hands, every so often giving him kisses. As I read a few comments out loud and responded, the dog practically begged me for attention when a familiar username appeared on the screen.

Y/NHollowSouls: Noah Sebastian, I swear to Hades himself. You kiss Max right now or I’ll come over there and kick your ass.

I laughed while shaking my head. “Alright, Max. Come here! Let me give you some love.”

I scratched the dog's ear while leaving a soft kiss on his nose then looked back to the computer screen to see Y/N leave another comment.

Y/NHollowSouls: Good, that’s better. Now I need to taste this famous BLT that won.

“Then get your ass over here. Bring some coconut water because Noah drank the last one,” Davis said once he read the comment.

My heart began to beat widely in my chest at the thought of seeing Y/N again.

Y/NHollowSouls: fuck yes. Noah, have that sandwich ready for me.

We ended the stream shortly after that but my eyes lingered on the black screen for a long moment. Davis immediately picked up on my quiet mood and knocked on the countertop.

“Noah?”

My name was white noise, still staring at zoning out in front of me.

“Earth to Noah! Come in Herc! Come in Herc!”

“What?” My eyes snapped over to Davis, finally breaking out of my trance.

“What I thought.” He smirks before getting serious. “Are you alright?”

I gave a weak smile towards Davis. “Yeah. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He motioned towards the laptop. “I know you’re not actually fine right now but-.”

I ran a hand over my face, doing my best to keep my breathing calm and even. “I’ll be fine, I promise. It just fucking hurts.”

Davis shifted on his feet, hesitation clear on his face. “Why? No disrespect to Y/N at all, you know I love her-we all do. But why did you choose to stay in touch? After all the hurt you’ve gone through.”

My vision was direct with his. “Because I’d rather have her from afar to make sure she’s alright than to not have her in my life at all. Besides, she’s going through a lot of shit, something no one should go through alone. I won’t let her.”

A grin spread across his face and he nodded. “I knew it. I just wanted to hear you admit it. But you need to end this shit with Bailey.”

“I already did.”

“Fuck,” Davis’ eyes widened. “Finally. How did she take it?”

I nervously rubbed the back of my neck. “That’s the thing, she didn’t answer. I left her a voicemail.”

“A voicemail? Damn, do you think she got the message?” Davis wondered while be began cleaning up the mess.

I, instead, began making another sandwich for Y/N, knowing she’d be here soon. “I fucking hope so. If not, then she’s probably testing me to see if I’d change my mind.”

“But you won't, right?”

I snorted. “Fat chance.”

Davis turned towards me, drying his hands on a towel. “So you broke up with Bailey. What’s the next step with Y/N?”

“I need to talk to her first. There’s a lot we need to talk about,” I said while pulling out a cold can of Dr. Pepper from the fridge.

“Hey, that’s the last one,” he exclaimed.

I merely shrugged while setting a place at the kitchen table for Y/N. “It’s for Y/N.”

Davis, as much as he tried to be upset, chuckled. “In all seriousness, Noah, you know we’re here to support you. We have your back.”

I smiled at one of my best friends. “I know.”

Just then a knock sounded on the front door and before Davis could answer it, I quickly closed the short distance and opened it with a smile; only for it to drop seeing Y/N standing on the other side with a frown.

“What’s wrong?” I questioned while allowing her to step inside and led her to Davis’ kitchen.

“Chase’s birthday is on Friday and the venue I booked for it just canceled on me. Something about a pipe bursting and the room is flooded,” she exasperated while falling into the chair at the table.

“What are you going to do?” I questioned while sitting across from her.

Davis joined us at the table, taking the coconut water from Y/N with a small smile.

“Thankfully since they have to cancel, I get my deposit back but Malcolm is freaking out,” she waved her phone around. “We have two days to figure out somewhere new for this surprise party.”

“You can have it at my place,” I suggested.

Y/N took a long drink of her soda. “Are you sure? Don’t you think you should talk with the rest of the guys first?”

I snatched a chip off her plate and shrugged. “They won’t mind.”

“Sei un tesoro, mochi,” she patted my cheek.

Davis choked on his drink and my eyes snapped over to him. “I don’t want to hear it!”

He held up his hands. “I didn’t hear anything.”

Y/N smirked before taking the first bite of her sandwich and groaned. “Oh shit, this is good. No wonder you won, Noah.”

With a prideful smirk, I motioned to the rest of her plate. “Finish up. I’ll call the guys and have them meet here and we can plan Chase’s party.”

At one point, Davis left to take Max for a walk, leaving Y/N and I alone. We sat silently and enjoyed the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seemed only the old could sit next to one another, not say anything, and still feel content. The young, brash, and impatient, must always break the silence. It’s a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. This is the great paradox.

“Oh, I never noticed the great view Davis has,” Y/N mused while pushing away her empty plate.

Realizing it was almost time for the sun to set, I quickly cleaned up for her and motioned towards the back door.

“Let’s go sit outside for a bit, yeah?” I suggested.

READER

Noah and I sat comfortably on the patio bench, a blanket draped over both of our legs as we stared out at the vast greens of Davis’ backyard. The sky was painted in bright oranges with hints of pink and purple. Silently, I thought to myself that I should have brought my art supplies, noting this would be a beautiful experience to paint.

The silence between Noah and I was comforting, something you don’t find all that often. People always needed to talk rather than just listen to the world around them. The way the birds chirped, the faint noises of evening traffic, or the sound of the wind as it blew a chilly breeze.

“Angel?”

I hummed while looking over towards Noah.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Is there-I don’t know-anything you really want besides music right now?”

“I want a studio, with giant canvas’, paint; just an art studio galore! I’ve gotten into the hobby and love it,” I answered with a bright smile. “I was even thinking of using some of my art for the album artwork. Just playing with ideas.”

Noah’s smile matched mine as he let his hair loose from the hair tie, letting it fall to his shoulders in waves. “I love that you found something else you’re so passionate about, angel.”

“I love painting. I really do,” I leaned farther back against the couch and rested my head against it.

“So paint. You should do whatever your heart desires, Y/N.”

“Thank you, mochi” I nudged him.

Noah rested his head against the couch, inches away from mine as another thought came to mind.

“You know,” I started with a long sigh. “When I was a kid, I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else”

“You wanted to be petty and dishonest?“ He joked.

“Not everyone is like that,” I defended with a shake of my head.

“Yes they are,” Noah retorted back. “But not you. You’re not like that.”

This had me sitting up straighter, Noah following me. “How do you know what I’m like?”

“I see you,” He shifted closer to me, hand brushing across my knee over the blanket. “I’ve seen you for a long time. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met”.

My heart beat widely in my chest, the noise deafening in my ears and I cleared my throat.

“I think you are too. If I’m being honest, I think I’ve always sorta known that,” I admitted.

“You know,” Noah’s hand rested on my knee. “With me bouncing between homes and couches growing up, I always thought I’d be alone. I’d never expected to have such an amazing group of friends.”

“Sometimes maybe it’s better to be alone,” I shrugged while looking past his shoulder to an older couple watching in the neighborhood.

“Why do you say that?”

I still kept my gaze off Noah, voice dropping low. “Nobody can hurt you.”

“Y/N,” Noah sighed and lifted my chin so I could meet his intense gaze. “I would never, ever hurt you.”

Those eyes. I’ve dreamed of those eyes almost every night since our first meeting so long ago. I won’t say I’m in love, not out loud, but I am. I came to terms with that a while ago.

“I know, mochi,” I finally whispered.

Noah’s thumb traced over my jawline. “I understand why it’s hard for you, Y/N. But know that when I’m with you, I don’t feel alone.”

That magnetic pull that always seemed to connect us with that invisible string made me lean closer to him needing his warmth to envelop me.

“I’ve never had this instant connection with anyone. I know you understand it too,” he continued.

With my continued silence, Noah sat up straighter but kept his grip on my chin. “Are you freaked out? Because not hearing you say anything kind of-.”

“Noah- no,” I rested my hands on his chest. “I feel it too.”

His hand grasped the back of my neck now, tilting my head up towards him, as we began to lead in closer, and when his warm breath fanned over my lips, I let my eyes flutter shut.

“Hey guys-oh shit.”

Quickly pushing away from Noah, I peered over my shoulder to see Malcolm leaning against the back door.

“We’re all inside ready to talk about the party. Whenever you two decide to grace us,” Malcolm winked before slipping back inside.

Clearing my throat, I let the realization sink in what Noah and I were about to do. He’s with Bailey and I was ready to kiss him. I’m not this kind of person but yet here I was again being caught between him and my conscious. Bailey, as intrusive as she was, didn’t deserve this.

Noah tried to bring me back to him but I quickly stood up, giving us more space.

“We can’t do this. Not again,” my hair shook widely around my shoulders. “It’s not fair to Bailey.”

“I ended it.”

I blinked. “Wha-Oh? You did?”

As ecstatic as I was hearing this, I did my best to hide it. I didn’t want Noah to know inside I was jumping for fucking joy; like a kid on Christmas that received the toy they’d been wanting.

Noah stood from the couch now, standing in front of me. “I think Bailey saw me as Noah on the big screen, not me the person and after everything at that dinner I just knew it was time.”

“I’m-I’m sorry,” I stammered, not knowing what else to say.

His brows furrowed. “Why? It wasn’t serious. There wasn’t that connection; like the one we have.”

As my lips parted, it was Jesse now who interrupted us, taking a bite of the apple in his hand. “Are you guys coming or what?”

Noah cursed while running a hand through his hair and I shakily pointed over his shoulder.

“We should head inside. Talk about this party.”

Not wanting to spend another second out here, afraid to finally give in to the thoughts that were screaming at me, I gently brushed past him to return inside.

GREEK TRANSLATIONS:

Koukla-doll

Kouklamou- my doll

“Giatí échei makriá malliá?”- Why does he have long hair?

"Eísai apísteftos"-you're unbelievable

ITALIAN TRANSLATIONS:

Sei un tesoro-you're a sweetheart.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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writerslittlelibrary · 7 months

Note

Thank you so much for writing my request. Omg that was amazing if you could do a part two pretty please (also like reader scared of Maria but I didn’t think of what to call her apart from agent/director hill)

I hope it wasn’t much problem writing it

Sending you this love💛💛💛

-🦈

We are your mothers 2

masterlist requests masterlist

part 1

summary: when you get kidnapped, your moms do everything in their power to get you back, only to find out that now you'll never call them mom again...

pairing: Blackhill x daughter reader

warnings: yelling, nightmares

genre: angst

words: 1169

a/n: part 2 is finally here! also, covid's been kicking my ass and I can't really breath or see (due to teary eyes) so sorry if this isn't great. I really wanted to write the part 2, and I might improve it or make it longer when I feel better :)

(also who has covid three times? why is that a thing🤨)

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

-------------------------------------------------------------

It had been over a week, and you were yet to interact with your mothers. Yelena was the only one you let close to you, but even she had no idea what you had endured. You didn't sleep a lot, nightmares haunting you, seemingly even when you were awake.

It broke your mothers hearts, to hear you scream and cry every night and not be able to comfort you. They made that mistake the first night, and the moment they walked in, you tried to crawl away from them, falling off the bed in the process. They tried helping you, but when they got close, you shielded your head and face with your arms, shaking in fear with the thought they might hit you. Natasha had spent that night crying in Maria's arms, hearing how Yelena shushed your cries and cuddled you back to sleep.

When the mornings came, you wouldn't come out of your room, afraid your moms might be in the kitchen. Natasha picked up on that quickly, and her and Maria started having breakfast at least an hour before you'd wake up.

Most nights they spend crying. Maria tried to be the strong one, comforting Natasha to the best of her abilities but she failed, and soon broke down beside her with the fear they might never get to hold their little girl ever again.

It was a frightening thought to the both of them.

“How you doing, baby spider?” Yelena asked as she walked into your room, seeing you drawing at your desk. You shrugged. Yelena sighed softly in disappointment, but made sure not to let you hear her. You hadn't spoken a lot, and despite Yelena's many efforts, you wouldn't speak to her either.

Yelena sat down on your bed, leaning back and facing you.

“I was thinking we could go to the mall today. Maybe visit that bookstore you like so much?” Yelena tried, but you didn't even acknowledge her sentence.

Yelena sighed to herself again, getting up and walking towards you. You quickly closed your sketchbook when you felt her coming close, turning around with your chair to face her.

“Will Miss Romanoff and Miss Hill come too?” you asked Yelena softly, and she smiled hesitantly at you. “You know they are still your mothers, right? They'd love for you to call them mom and mama again…” Yelena tried carefully, but you flinched from even hearing those names.

You shook your head and turned back around to your desk, tears stinging in your eyes.

Yelena wasn't sure on what to do, but she decided that after a week, it was finally time to push. “Why wouldn't you want to call them that again? They've missed you so much.”

Tears streamed down your face, but Yelena just couldn't drop it. “They love you.” That was when you let out your first sob, crying as quietly as possible. Yelena didn't hesitate to lean forward, capturing you in a hug and letting you cry on her shoulder.

“What happened to you? What did they do to you?” Yelena asked softly, rubbing your back with one hand while the other cradled your head against her.

You sobbed and shook your head, trying to tell her, but your sentences came out muffled and in broken sobs. Yelena continued to comfort you, softly sushing you and continuing to rub your back. “We all love you, y/n,” Yelena said softly. “Just know that.”

After your sobs reduced to sniffles, Yelena tried to pull back to look at you, but you just pulled her closer.

Quietly you explained what happened. You left out most details, but covered the most important parts: they hurt when you didn't listen, and all you could see were your mothers.

Yelena had tears stinging her eyes as she heard you explain, holding you closely as she tried to keep in her own sobs. Hearing you talk about Natasha and Maria like that, hearing what you thought they did to you, broke her heart into a million pieces. She kept rubbing your back when your sobs started up again, whispering comforting things into your ear as you explained.

After a few minutes, when you both calmed down, Yelena finally pulled back, pulling you to face her. “We all love you. Natasha and Maria love you more than anything in this world. They would do anything to hear you call them mom and mama again,” Yelena explained, wiping some hair from your face.

You nodded softly, your tears finally reducing.

“I'll try,” you said, hugging Yelena one more time before standing up.

Yelena held your hand as you walked to the common area, your moms found sitting on the couch, watching a movie together to try and distract themselves.

“Natasha…” you softly called, her head whipping around to see you standing there, squeezing Yelena's hand out of fright. “Hi baby,” she said softly, slowly getting up to walk towards you. You tensed up slightly when she came closer, but Yelena squeezed your hand reassuringly.

Natasha came closer carefully, reaching her hands up to try and touch you. When she saw you didn't try to move away from her, she softly put her hands around you, pulling you into a hug.

Maria soon joined, putting her arms around you both as you quietly embraced each other.

When Natasha pulled back, she carefully reached her hands to your face, wiping some hairs that had fallen in front of it away. “I love you so much,” she spoke, tears stinging in her eyes. You kept quiet, tears stinging in your own eyes as well.

“We both do,” Maria spoke, putting her hand on the other side of your face carefully.

They were so afraid to hurt or scare you away. You nodded softly, your tears now streaming down your face. When you fell asleep that night, it was on the couch, your head on Yelena's lap and your legs on Natasha's.

You still hadn't spoken to them, but it was progress. You fell asleep in the same room as them, even going so far as letting Natasha touch you.

Natasha smiled to herself as she saw your sleeping form, softly stroking your legs as you slept. Yelena had told them everything that night, and both Natasha and Maria had broken down after hearing what you'd been put through.

You hadn't really said anything to them, and it would for sure take a long time before you'd call them mom and mama again, if you'd ever even call them that again, but Maria and Natasha were willing to wait, helping you wherever they could.

They love you, and they always will.

(Tags : @marvelogic @marvelav @lgas202-blog @jusnough @carol-romanoff @natsbraids)

#black widow #marvel #natasha x reader #blackhill #mcu #avengers #natasha romanoff #natasha x daughter #natasha x reader platonic #blackhill x daughter #marvel reader insert #marvel requests #writing requests #reader insert #maria hill x daughter #maria x natasha #maria x reader #maria hill x reader #maria hill

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moodymisty · 5 months

Note

Hiya! Could I request some Magnus / GN! Reader shenanigans? Like the reader is trying to learn a spell (to impress Magnus), does it by "The books are just guidelines anyways", and it works. Then they go to show Magnus and confusion hell breaks loose Blease and thankyou <3<3<3

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: Magnus time! I was actually working on something just like this, so this gave me the motivation to really spruce it up and finish it. But I really apologize because when I reread your request I realized I might've gone a bit less silly than you might've wanted. I hope you still enjoy.

Relationship: Magnus the Red/Gn!Reader

Warnings: None apart from this being my first time writing Magnus so please forgive me figuring him out I'm sorry if he feels off

Word Count: 1220

Sorcery is by it's very nature, finicky.

It has no solid answer, no yes or no. It's not as if it's a machine you can turn on or off, or a star you can see is alive or dead. It's an ebb and flow- something you feel.

But how do you feel something you've never felt before?

These tomes are largely nonsensical to you; The scribblings of madmen, words with no translation and sentences backwards.

You'd once again today attempted to make sense of it all, to tempt your better judgement that kept saying it maybe wasn't your most intelligent idea, but nothing has happened yet. So now you sit in bed, flicking through pages of tomes scattered across the blankets; Attempting to perhaps make enough sense of it and not bring anymore embarrassment to yourself than you already have.

In your fussiness you've already given yourself two different paper cuts, licking your wounds both physical and mental. You should probably be sleeping, the stars are out bright, and the wind gently raps against the windows as you study.

Magnus' tower is so ethereal, you look towards the window for a moment and see nothing but the midnight sky illuminating everything underneath it.

After thinking, you look back towards the oversized tome in your lap, lying on your thighs over top of a blanket. You'd picked many of the books not necessarily at random, but attempting to find the most basic of starting places from a collection that puts most others to shame. Magnus has many shelves up here, filled with his personal collection of tomes and scrolls. You sort've wish he was here to help guide you, but at the same time, you wish to surprise him to some degree.

You try just one more time, attempting to light a small ember in your palm. You follow every word exactly as the instructions- if you could call them that, and mange to hold it for only a few moments before it flickers away as if blown out by breath.

"Ugh!"

You drop your head, it coming quite close to hitting the pages of the tome.

"What is this?"

Your head suddenly whips upright, seeing Magnus himself standing in the doorway across the room. You don't know how you hadn't heard his footsteps, though you suppose you were far too distracted for your ears to prick to any other sound than what was right next to you.

Entering the room and closing the massive door behind him, Magnus takes in the scenery he's missed while aboard Photep, traveling the stars. After his quick glances he focuses on you cross legged in his bed, surrounded by opened and unopened books.

"Magnus!" He slowly walks closer to the beside, one finger brushes a tome he's clearly familiar with and opening it to a particular page; Glossing over it before he lets it gently fall back shut.

"Now, what are you concocting in that little mind of yours that requires so many spell tomes?"

Magnus watches amused as you close the book in your lap, legs cross underneath it and look at your slightly burned palm.

"I was trying to call fire. But it seems it's a bit harder than I thought." His smile fades a bit softer, watching your expression. The fabric of his robes is weaved with gold string that shines in the soft candle light.

"You seem to have had it, from what I saw."

You can feel his long red hair brush against your arm as he sits beside you, his massive height and weight difference forcing the appropriately massive bed to dip heavily to his side. It almost makes you roll, but you quickly adjust to prevent that. Now in your atmosphere it's a bit easier to look him in the eye, but you still have to crane your next a decent bit.

"I was following the tomes exactly like they said, and the best I can do is a little baby kindling. I'd have trouble even setting a letter alight."

You look up towards him, hands playing with the edges and filigree of the old, worn tome in your lap. Magnus speaks up, his tone curious and a bit surprised.

"Exactly?"

His eye glances down to the front cover of the tome in your hand, and recognizes that one instantly. With one hand, he gently reaches underneath the covers and gently clamps the tome shut, the top of his hand laying against your thighs before he pulls the tome towards his chest.

"Then you are taking it all far too literally." Perhaps the book shouldn't be written so literally then, you rebelliously think. He lays the tome aside, and uses the same hand to gently cup your jaw between his fingers and look up at him.

"it's far more of a feeling that anything, my love. If you keep just following the tomes, you might end up burning something down. Or as you've noticed, burning nothing at all." He lets out a laugh, feeling your cheeks move under his finger tips.

"I never thought you to be so studious in following directions. Perhaps you'd prefer Primarch Guilliman to myself?" You let out a harsh puff of air through your closed lips, making an insulting noise. Your hand grips his wrist and tries to pull it away, but to no avail, and instead you just grip the massive muscles of his arm and scowl.

"Funny."

He smiles wider. How you speak to him so casually now, compared to months ago. Perhaps his teasing makes it easier for you to forget who he is. He doesn't mind it.

A testament to your determination, you'd been able to cast something despite a lack of knowledge; But you could do well in having someone set you on the right path. Afterall, Magnus knows simply treating something with such an ebb and flow as sorcery as rules you can memorize will never bear any fruit.

Magnus can guide you, and truthfully, he would love for nothing more than to.

His sons don't need to be taught. They learn from his actions, and most are more than capable of progressing on their own and honing their own skills. To be able to teach his beloved something that is such a core part of himself, to guide your hand and your mind to touch something greater- he finds himself almost, dare he say excited.

He's rough on his sons, he knows they can take it. That they're built for sorceries and touching the warp. But with you he'll have to be gentle. The thought of it, to sit with you and show you wondrous things that your home planet kept from your eyes, he would start right now if not for one thing.

Magnus lets go of your jaw. He leans down and gently brushes a kiss against your temple, his fire red hair brushing against your skin again.

"Now, as much as I don't wish to part you from your reading, I have returned from Terra at my absolute wits end and desiring some rest." He smiles and vaguely gestures to the mess you've made of his bed during his absence. He can see other little messes throughout his chambers, as well.

"So my love, perhaps you could move your research, off the bed?"

#magnus the red x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer 40k x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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daddyy333 · 1 year

Text

Worthy | Lo’ak x Metkayina Reader

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 5.6k

warnings: uhh reader and lo’ak are pretty sad without each other, reader says “wouldn’t be the worst thing” when lo’ak says the people believe she is dead, ?

anything in bold like this in the middle of a sentence means it’s either Na’vi or meant to be in Na’vi but I don’t trust the translation websites so I just use the few words I know and make do with it💀

summary: Lo’ak’s parents don’t approve of your relationship and it makes you question if you’re worthy of Lo’ak’s love

“Ma sempul…Ma sa’nok?” He asked as he came into the marui. By now, the Sully family had been a part of the Metkayina clan for a year and had become very well acquainted with many of the clan and were getting used to life as reef people.

“Yes, Lo’ak?” Neytiri said and looked up at him. He cleared his throat and said “oel ngati kameie” while gesturing to them. Neytiri and Jake smiled and responded the same.

“I have someone I’d like you to meet…You have been pressuring me since I completed iknimaya to choose a woman…and I have chosen” he said and their eyes widened. They did not want him to choose a Metkayina woman, the goal was to be able to go back to the Omaticaya one day.

“She is Metkayina?” Neytiri asked and Lo’ak nodded softly, pulling you into the marui. You waved softly and looked down, really nervous. Neytiri sighed and said “you cannot mate with a Metkayina woman. Is she even a good hunter? I’ve never even heard of her. Is she even worthy of your love? What is her name?”

“Y/n te Ayeykí Eyati’ite” he said proudly, holding your hand and caressing it softly. Tears quickly filled in your eyes, you tried to stop seeing him because you knew neither of your parents would ever allow you to be together but he just kept insisting, and you were head over heels for the forest boy.

“Does she know the first thing about healing? What if something were to happen, may the great mother never allow it, and you were the one to become the next Olo’eyktan? She would become Tsahìk, Lo’ak this is a major responsibility. You cannot just pick any girl. She is not worthy of being our Tsahìk” Jake said and Lo’ak scoffed.

He shook his head and said “you are being such hypocrites! Dad was just an avatar and you mated with him. And y/n is no ordinary girl. She’s the best hunter I’ve seen, and you don’t even know how many times she's been there to heal me when grandmother was not there? She is so kind, you don’t understand. You won’t even give her a chance? She takes care of me and loves me so much. She is a beautiful woman and a beautiful person, she’s the best woman for me”

“Lo’ak it’s fine…I-I’ll just go, okay? I won’t t-talk to your son anymore I’m s-sorry-” you said and tried to pull away but he stopped you. You let out a shaky breath, pleading with your eyes for him to let you go. He shook his head and said “I will mate with this woman, and she will be my wife and there is nothing you can do about it. I love her so much, and I know Eywa put her in my life for a reason. She will be your daughter in law and she will be my mate. I do not care what you think!”

“Lo’ak do not disobey your parents…maybe there is someone better for you. You deserve the best,” you said, pulling away from him. He tried to grab you again and you shook your head and said “ma Lo’ak…this was never going to work. I will miss you so much, but you are destined for great things. You are Toruk Makto’s son, it’s important you live up to that. I’ll…I’ll see you around”

You smiled a little and left, wiping your tears away. He scoffed and said “how could you do this?! Neteyam is very in love with Tsireya, we all see it and you don’t even care! Why is it that everything I do is wrong in your eyes?! The last thing I want is a life without her”

“Lo’ak, we will go back to the Omaticaya eventually and you will choose a woman then. Neteyam as well,” Neytiri said and he shook his head. He felt the tears fall down his face as he said “I know if Neteyam came to you and said he’d chosen Tsireya as his mate you would support him but you two just hate everything I do. I never do anything right, and every time I’m happy somehow it gets destroyed. I- I loved her! She saw me, and I saw her. We truly saw each other, I’ve never felt so connected to someone. Please, just let me have this one thing”

“Lo’ak, no one has ever mated outside their clan, we don't know what could happen. What will happen when she becomes pregnant? Think of how hard the child’s life would be with a Metkayina’s tail and Omaticaya arms? You think Ao’nung makes fun of you, he’ll make your child cry because of his different it looks” he said and Lo’ak wiped his tears.

Neytiri took a deep breath and said “my child…” “no…no, leave me alone,” Lo’ak said, backing up. He couldn’t imagine a life without you. He wasn’t living until he met you, just simply existing. You make life so much more worth living.

“I…I cannot believe you. She makes me so happy, far happier than I’ve ever been trying to be another Neteyam for you. All you see me as is a soldier, just some warrior to train. I still have wants and needs, and I need to be with her!” He said and Neytiri sighed softly. He shook his head and left, wiping his tears away harshly.

“Lo’ak!” Neytiri said and he yanked his arm from her grip. She looked down and took a deep breath. Jake sighed and said “he really wants to be with her…what’s the worst that could happen? So what if their children look different? Everyone thinks our children have “demon blood”. They’re unique, that’s all. Lo’ak’s children would also look a little different as well,”

“He needs to mate with an Omaticaya woman. There’s too much uncertainty if he mates with a Metkayina woman” she said and Jake shook his head.

Meanwhile, you had gone missing. No one in the clan knew where you were, a younger Metkayina saw you get on your ilu and leave without a word. Eyati, your mother, was terrified. Mawu, your father, wore a similar look as he held his mate, comforting her.

“Why would she just leave?!” Eyati cried, shaking her head. Mawu placed his hands on her growing stomach, trying to calm her down. He kissed her head and said “do not stress, Eyati. It is not good for the baby, and our daughter will be back, she wouldn’t just leave the clan like that without a word. She just needs time,”

“I am so sorr-” Lo’ak said and Be’yati, your older brother, scoffed. He pushed him and Lo’ak nearly fell, but he didn’t even care to defend himself. He didn’t care what happened to him, if he joined Eywa tomorrow then so be it. Without you, he didn’t care much for his life.

“Stop it! It is not his fault! She chose to run off. Everyone…keep an eye out and I want to know when she comes back as soon as one of you see’s her, you tell me. Even if you’re not sure. My daughter will come home, I’m sure of it” Mawu said and everyone nodded.

Lo’ak shook his head and went to a more secluded part of the island, a place you two used to go to a lot. It had so many pretty flowers, and there were a few trees and it was a little more grassy than sandy. It reminds him of the Omaticaya’s forest and hometree.

You told him how happy you were that he still felt like he had a little piece of his home with him. You caressed his hands as he told you stories of his childhood and what it was like in the forest. How beautiful it was there. How he wants to take you one day.

You and your ilu had gone to an island pretty far away, you discovered it when your parents first started letting you go on your own and have gone there many times since. You’ve even brought Lo’ak there, but only twice in the time they’d been there so he probably wouldn’t be able to find you.

You were missing for 5 days before you decided it was time to come back, you knew you were stressing your mother and didn’t want to harm her or your unborn sibling. But in those 5 days, Lo’ak was really starting to lose himself. He didn’t leave the marui unless absolutely necessary, and he was barely eating which concerned Neytiri and Jake and the kids, Kiri especially.

Tuk would try to play with him and he would just sit there, too overwhelmed with thoughts of you. Your eyes, the beautiful blue-green hue they had. Your smile, and your soft lips that kissed his temple when he was stressed or upset. Your hands, how skilled they were. How they would expertly make the perfect pastes or powders or drinks that healed him when he was injured or feeling ill. How they braided his hair to perfection when it was getting grown out. How they massaged his sore muscles after a long day of hunting for food or playing with the younger members of the clan, or swimming with Payakan.

You were so kind too, so generous. You almost always had a small child wanting to sit with you at dinner time, and whenever someone asked, no matter who, you’d give them some of your food. You helped the little ones learn to swim better, teach the hunters in training how to aim a little better. Any time someone even had the slightest scratch, you were quick to clean it and make something to heal it taster. You always helped when you could and where you could, he wondered if you even made time for yourself at all.

He missed you so much. He just wanted to see you again, hear your voice, feel your skin on his as he hugged you again. He could barely function a few days without you, what if you never came back?

Tsireya eventually visited him and nearly dragged him out of his marui. She brought him to play on the shore, just to hopefully lift his spirits a little. However, no one realized you were coming in on your ilu as you were pretty far away and most were on another part of the island preparing for dinner.

You saw her hugging him and them laughing together. You instantly stopped, watching for a few minutes. She splashed him with water and he tackled her softly, splashing her like crazy. It’s the first time he’d even smiled since you left, but you didn’t know that.

To you, it seemed like he had moved on. Maybe his parents just didn’t like you. Jake came over with a smile, trying to seperate the two and getting splashed a little. They splashed him back and he picked Lo’ak up and threw him over shoulder, grabbing Tsireya’s hand and bringing them to the rest of the clan so they could eat.

You blinked some tears away and turned around heading back to the island. 3 weeks of not having you in his life passed. Tonowari and a few others went out searching for you a few times but were unsuccessful. You mother and father were getting worried, and your father was especially worried this would complicate the birth of their newest child.

It finally clicked for Lo’ak, you had to be at that island. He immediately ran out of the marui, calling his ilu. Jake and Neytiri tried to stop him but he was already too far away. He’d never found it so fast, especially since he was still truly getting the hang of riding a marui but he was there in a matter of minutes.

He swam to the area you always did, climbing up using rocks that seemed almost perfectly placed for someone to climb up. It was a short climb, the island was a bit above water and before he knew it there you were.

You were sleeping at the moment, but there was a rock which looked to be a makeshift plate with fish on it, and noticed a little area with a now burnt out fire a few feet away, probably where you cooked your food. There was a small bag, probably your belongings you took with you. He noticed your ilu swimming around the neighboring islands that were also small and empty.

“Sweetheart?” He asked, carefully approaching you. He shook you slightly and you immediately jumped up, pushing him away as you took a defensive position, pulling your knife out and hissing at him. He put his hands up and said “woah, woah woah just me” He smiled, god that stupid smile.

You hated him. Well, you wanted to. And you did, barely, because he made you fall in love with him. With his stupid face and his stupid smile and his stupid person. You’d always love Lo’ak more than you could ever hate him.

“Even worse,” you said mostly sarcastically, sarcastic remarks being something you’d picked up from him in the first place. You put your knife away and sat back on the makeshift bed, not wanting to look at him.

“Go away, Lo’ak. You cannot be with me, I’m not going to go against your parents” you said and ran your fingers over the dirt and moss and rocks in front of you. He sighed and said “y/n, you need to come home. You’re stressing your mother, she needs to be calm especially because she is growing the little sister you want so bad,”

“We don’t know that” you mumbled and he continued. “Your father is struggling just as much. You need to come back home, and help everyone stop worrying so much” he said and you shook your head.

Tears filled your eyes as you said “I cannot go back home and have to see you every day, Lo’ak. It…it makes me so sad. And we cannot be together, even if we want to because your mother is right. I am not worthy of being a Tsahík. You need a girl who is…who is mighty. Who is strong, who is skilled and- and you- you deserve better than me, Lo’ak. Please, go away”

“It makes me sad as well, but you cannot stay here the rest of your life. And I don’t care what my mother says, you would be the best Tsahík the Na’vi has seen. Eywa made you special, y/n. You are meant to be a Tsahík. Screw what I think, everyone misses you, not just me, and all of the people are praying to Eywa constantly for your safe return. They are worried for your safety, many believe you are dead” he said and a new wave of tears hit you.

You sniffled and said “wouldn’t be the worst thing” He gasped slightly, shaking his head. He sat in front of you and said “no, no hey do not say that! Please, do not say that! Y/n, your life means so much to everyone in the clan, please do not say those things. If seeing me makes you feel uncomfortable then…then I will go, okay? Awa’atlu is your home, not mine”

“No, no one goes I- ugh, just go away” you said and stood up, remembering when you saw him with Tsireya. What you didn’t know, was that Kiri followed Lo’ak on her Ikran and now her, Neteyam, Jake, and Neytiri were hiding in some trees on their Ikran’s. They’d been listening the whole time.

He stood up, trying to say something else but just grunts and groans coming out. You scoffed and said “you’re like a baby. Making noises, don’t listen. Go back!” “Y/n-” he said and you shoved him. You wiped your tears and said “No! Go back. Go back to your family, go back to the people, go back to Tsireya! Go!”

“Tsireya?” He asked and you shook your head. You sighed as you said “I was going to come back some time ago. But…I saw you with Tsireya. You were playing in the water and…you seemed happy without me. So I left you be. You shouldn’t be falling in love with Metkayina women, but obviously if you’re so happy with her you don’t need me”

“No- n- Tsireya is just…she was just trying to cheer me up, I- I want you, y/n. You make me happy. You make life feel like it’s worth living. Not her. Please, please come home. You’ll never have to see my stupid face again,” he said and you groaned.

You pushed him away as he got too close as you said “you are stupid. Stay away from me and let me be!” “Y/n-” he said before you both stopped, Atokirina came over to you. A few of them landed on you, and then moved to Lo’ak and then they left.

You gasped, watching as they flew away. “Eywa…” you said softly and sighed. You called your Ilu, diving into the water and riding back home as fast as you could. Lo’ak sighed and took a deep breath, diving under and following you home.

You ran to your mother and father’s marui and knew that’s what Eywa was telling you, you found your father comforting your mother as she clung onto him, face scrunched up in pain. “Ma sa’nok!” You said, running over, cupping her cheek. Her eyes widened as she continued taking the deep breaths your father guided her to take, grabbing your arm.

“Y/n,” she sighed, smiling slightly. As soon as the pain passed, she hugged you and your father wrapped you in a bear hug. “I’m so sorry, Mother, I’m so sorry” you said and she shushed you, smoothing your frizzy, grown out braids back.

“You make it up to me by helping me through this. Hurts just as much as when I had you. My beautiful girl,” she said and kissed your cheek. You looked up at your dad and he said “come, my loves, we must tell the clan. Your mother would like everyone to pray for her and the baby”

You helped her out of the marui and everyone congratulated her on the nearing arrival of her second child, and playfully scolded you for leaving for so long. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Lo’ak watching you. The little kids were swarming you, all begging to be held and told about where you were.

You took a deep breath and he gave you a soft smile. You blinked a few times and bent down, hugging all the little ones and promising you’d never ever leave again. Eventually, you need to go back to the marui to help your mother but you promised you would spend as much time as you could with them when you were able to.

Your mother spent the entire night and most of the next day bearing the pain of childbirth, before your father delivered your baby sister as your mother screamed and squeezed your hand. You were so happy, hugging your mother tight as your father kissed her cheek, laying the whimpering baby on her chest.

She was a little small, but still perfect. She cooed and gurgled, looking up at you and your mother. Eyati connected her kuru to the baby’s and she instantly made a louder coo, reaching up for your mothers face. You smiled and said “she’s perfect, ma sa’nok”

“I’m so glad I have both my girls with me now…please don’t ever leave again, maite” she said and you smiled. You kissed her temple and said “I will not, ma sa’nok. I made a promise to Eywa, and asked her to please make sure I never even think of leaving you and my sweet little sister again”

She smiled and you both looked down at the new baby. You and your father took care of your mother and the new baby for a few hours before they decided on a name for her, Khädina. It was perfect for your precious baby sister.

You spent a few hours with her while your mother slept, and Lo’ak came to visit you. You looked up at him and rolled your eyes. “Go away. This is a happy time for me and my family and I do not want to see you right now” you said and he took a deep breath.

You caressed Khädina’s cheek and he said “I just wanted to say congratulations. I know you’ve always wanted a sibling, especially a sister. I- I brought something to eat. And some for your mother as well. Tell her I saw congratulations. She made two very beautiful girls, she deserves a lot more”

You smiled softly, thanking him. He said hello to the baby and left you alone, but you could stop thinking about him. You kissed Khädina’s head and said “what do you think, tsmuke? What should I do? I…as much as I wish I didn’t…I see him. I see all of him and I just…I am- I can’t stand to be away from him. As the humans say, I love him. He is…not perfect, at least in others eyes. But to me he’s amazing, and he’s special. He’s not like the other Na’vi. He’s adventurous and he likes to explore and do the things he wants even when it gets him in trouble. His father gets upset at him for that,”

You giggled, thinking about the memories of him being scolded by Jake. She cooed and you said “He…He chose me as his mate. But, he is Omaticaya and I, as well as you, are Metkayina and it’s not very common for different clans to mate. He is forest people, we are reef people. It could be hard for us to have children one day, it could be hard on those children. There’s no telling what they’ll be like, no one’s ever done this before. Even so, I still want to be with him. I believe Eywa was trying to warn me about your arrival yesterday, but I think she was also telling me something about me and Lo’ak. I’m not sure what yet, though. I think I must visit the Spirit tree and ask her what she was trying to tell me. Our great mother knows all, Khädina. She will guide me on the right path, she will show me what is best. I do…I hope that he is what’s best. I would really like to be with him. He’s very handsome don’t you think? And he’s so kind. I…I was very mean to him earlier. I was upset. But, he still comes to see you and be here for me, because he knows how happy I was about getting to meet you. He is nice that way. He sees all of the people the best he can, and he cares for them, even when it seems like he doesn’t, even when they hurt him. He cares for everyone. Even if he doesn’t know it. I just hope the great mother is able to tell me he is best for me”

Khädina yawned and you chuckled. You wiped away the few tears that slipped and said “I’m sorry, little one, have I made you tired? I’m sure all the work Ma sa’nok did to bring you into the world probably exhausted you too” Eyati chuckled at that and you looked over, smiling.

“Ma sa’nok. How are you?” You asked, tucking a braid behind her ear. She smiled and said “happy,” She sat up with a wince and reached for Khädina. You handed her to your mother and she smiled.

She moved her top and began to feed her, smiling as she cooed and squirmed happily. “I was awake the whole time. I heard everything you say about the forest boy. You want to be with him, it almost sounds like you need it. I understand, daughter. I’ve talked with your father while you were gone and he understands as well. If his parents approve, we will allow you to mate with that boy. Just…be sure. Okay?” She said and you smiled, more tears spilling down your face.

She wiped them away and you nodded, thanking her. Your father came back and held all 3 of his girls in his arms, feeding you two some food and admiring his new daughter.

A few days later, your mother was healed better and she was able to leave the marui, introducing everyone to the new baby. Once again, Lo’ak stood off to the side watching. You took a deep breath, smiling at him and gently taking Khädina from your mothers arms to show the little kids.

He couldn’t help but think about that being your child one day. Him standing behind you, holding you in his arms as you showed off the little baby you made together. He’d want them to look like you. So he could look at them and see the girl he loves most. Also, in case something happens to his ambitious and slightly impulsive girl and he no longer gets to wake up next to her every day. That way he’d have a little you to keep him from giving up.

He wanted to be with you so bad. He wanted to hug you and kiss you and make love to you as much as possible. He was so in love with you. He always told you Eywa had been creating you since the time of the first songs, making sure you were as perfect as possible, which you were.

Once you were able to have some time to yourself, you went to the spirit tree. You swam around for a bit, interacting with the animals. At the eclipse, you connected your kuru to the tree and closed your eyes. “Great mother, I need help. I…I feel very connected to Lo’ak, one of the forest people who came to Awa’atlu for safety. He…he actually makes me feel safe, and also very happy. But…he is Omaticaya. His parents do not want us to be together. I…I don’t know what I should do. Please, Eywa, I need your guidance” you told her, smiling at the thoughts of Lo’ak.

Atokirina came over to you, hovering right over your heart. You smiled and told Eywa of Khädina’s birth, even though you knew she already knew. “She’s beautiful, Eywa. I’m forever grateful for such a beautiful gift from the great mother” you told her, now wanting to hold her again.

Once you were down, you headed home and ran into Tsireya. “Hi…I- I heard Lo’ak talking to Kiri about some things. I just…I wanted to say that these last few weeks have just been friendship with Lo’ak. I actually…well I-I’ve been trying to help him look for you. And trying to boost his mood. He got really upset because he missed you. He sees you, y/n. More than anyone else. He sees you so clear he cannot handle it sometimes. Please…do not let me get in the way of your relationship. What you have…is special. And I…well I sort of…if I were to choose a brother it’d probably be Neteyam” she said, really shy as she spoke the last part.

You smiled and said “you are attracted to Neteyam, sister?” Her bioluminescent freckles glowed as she nodded, looking over at the brothers braiding little Tuk’s hair. You smiled and said “you should try. Ronal and Eyati are good friends, maybe she would allow it” “no, I can’t…I am going to be the next Tsahík. I should mate with a Metkayina man” she said and you rolled your eyes.

You hugged her and said “thank you, sister. Thank you,” She smiled and said “you’re welcome. Go be with your man now,” You giggled and walked over to him, he instantly looked up and was starstruck.

He had finally truly looked at you for the first time in weeks, god he almost forgot just how gorgeous you are. Your hips swayed beautifully, your bioluminescent freckles glowing beautifully, your outfit accentuating your body in ways that did things to Lo’ak.

“Lo’ak? Can we…talk?” You asked and Neteyam’s eyes widened. He chuckled and said “you upset your woman, Lo’ak? Better be careful, we all know she could kick your skxawng ass anytime” you laughed a little, a beautiful sound to him. Nearly as beautiful as his mothers song chord.

You smiled and tapped his shoulder as you walked by, signaling for him to follow you. You walked to a secluded part of the island, no maruis, no people. Just trees and rocks and the water. “Lo’ak?” You asked, he seemed a bit…uncomfortable.

“Yes?” He said, raising his eyebrows slightly. You noticed his tail moving quite erratically, he was nervous. “I…I have had some time to think. I asked Eywa for guidance, as well and…I think mating with you is something that is meant to happen. Our love for each other is something very special, Lo’ak. I don’t think Eywa put us in the other's life on accident” you said and he looked down.

You grabbed his hand and he said “you should be with a Metkayina man…the clan would be upset at you, and they’d turn their back on you like they did me. I’m not good for you, y/n. Neteyam is a better option. I’m…I’m alien, y/n. All they’ll see is demon blood”

Tears filled your eyes as you whimpered. “Lo’ak…oel ngati kameie” He looked up at you and a tear slipped down his cheek. He looked so hurt, so lost. You cupped his cheeks, trying to force him to look at you.

“oel ngati kameie” he whispered back softly, placing his hands on your waist. You gasped slightly, you didn’t expect him to give in so easily. You pressed your forehead to his and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Please stay with me…we can- w-we can run away together and we’ll…we’ll make our own clan,” he said, obviously joking.

“We’ll…we’ll bring some others and then our kids can mate with some of them and we’ll make an entirely new clan” he said and you smiled. You caressed his cheek and said “and what would our clan be called?”

“Mmmm y/n” he said and you giggled. You sniffled and said “you can’t name our clan after me” “but you are so incredible, y/n. And mighty. Anyone who gets to say your name and see your beautiful face should consider themselves lucky” he said and your bioluminescent freckles lit up and you giggled again.

He pulled away and you looked up at him, biting your lip. You looked down at his lips and then back up at him, and he nodded. You leaned in and kissed him softly, his hands finding your hips he pulled you into him. You were practically flush against him as he dipped you back a little.

He moved his hands to your back, pulling you impossibly closer and causing you to moan a little into the kiss. You pulled away and he chased your lips a little, making you chuckle. He smiled and said “I love you, y/n. I cannot live without you, I mean it. It’s been so hard these last few weeks I don’t want to ever be away from you again”

“I love you too, Lo’ak. I’m so glad Eywa brought you here. You make me so happy, my love” you said, still caressing his cheek. He kissed you again and you smiled through it, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his hips after he tapped your thigh softly.

Neteyam, Kiri, Jake, Neytiri, and Tuk had all once again been spying and Neteyam started cheering him on. Kiri giggled and did the same, and then they all did. You gasped, hiding your face in his chest from embarrassment and he blushed. He loved when you did that.

“Yeaaa! My brother finally brainwashed a girl into being with him!” Neteyam said, placing his hands on shoulders and slapping them slightly. Neytiri raised an eyebrow and said “who taught you to kiss like that, boy?”

“Ma sa’nok…” he said, a little embarrassed. You giggled and looked up at him, kissing his warm cheek. He rubbed your back and said “just a natural I guess” specifically looking at Neteyam with a boyish grin on his face.

“Alright, you may have settled on a mate but don’t be having all kinds of babies yet. You're barely Na’vi adults, why don’t you act like teenagers for a few more years?” Jake said and you nodded. Lo’ak smiled and said “of course, dad. Cannot wait to father your children but I must show you how amazing you are first”

Neytiri placed her hands on your shoulders and said “welcome to the family, sweetheart,” and kissed your head. Neytiri sighed and said “be a gentleman and take care of her, Lo’ak. Or I’ll make sure she kicks your ass”

He rubbed your back, whispering a promise to never ever hurt you in your ear. “Come on, you gotta finish my hair,” Tuk whined, grabbing both her brother’s arms. You chuckled and let go of him, pushing him so he didn’t make the excuse of being with you to get out of braiding sweet little Tuk’s hair.

“I’ll never understand why you want him, but I’m glad you two are happy. I was sick of taking care of his mopey ass while you were gone” Kiri said and you laughed, watching your sweet soon to be mate make silly faces at his little sister as Neteyam continued braiding.

“He’s perfect to me…I cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together” you said, biting your lip. Kiri rolled her eyes and Jake and Neytiri chuckled, shaking their heads. Lo’ak looked over at you and winked, making your bioluminescent freckles shine like stars of the night sky. You smiled and winked back.

God, you’d do anything for the rebellious forest boy.

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Lo’ak

Neteyam

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

#avatar 2 #avatar #avatar the way of water #lo’ak x y/n #lo’ak imagine #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak fic #lo’ak x metkayina!reader #lo’ak x metkayina!y/n #Lo’ak te Suli Tseyeyk’itan

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httpskuzuu · 11 months

Text

Cello

Yandere!Fyodor x Reader

I am spanish and I have no idea of english, I translated this by google so I am sorry if there are mistakes, idk

it's the first time I write for him so it's probably that fyodor is quite out of character, sorry for that too.

tw: kidnapping, yandere, manipulation¿, mentions of god, I think, stockholm syndrome, fyodor is a general tw.

I have been a whole month kidnapped by Fyodor.

The first three weeks there I was in a dark and empty basement, typical of a horror movie. I don't remember much from when I was in the basement, my brain decided that the best thing for me would be to forget everything I experienced there, I only remember very specific things. I remember that he didn't talk to me until the first week, and that I stopped crying on the fifth day. Since I stopped crying the emotions disappeared, there was fear, of course, but at a lower intensity than at the beginning.

After my stay in the basement he decided to take me upstairs, he gave me a room to myself and from then on all our interactions were cold and distant, almost null most of the time.

Today I decided to go back to writing, a hobby I had before I was kidnapped. It was relaxing and made me feel a little better, it made that emotional block that I had been carrying with me since the fifth day here disappear for a few seconds.

Everything was going well until I heard his cello being played, that made me not be able to continue writing. I don't know why I couldn't continue, maybe the simple fact of knowing that Fyodor was just a door away from me made me disconcerted. Now, for some reason, I am about to open that door that separated us.

I opened the door cautiously. The room is moderately large, with Fyodor in the middle, seated and holding the cello between his legs. His slender hands play the chords of a song, unknown to me, with such elegance, he has an amazing composure as his fingers lightly press the strings of the cello. His face is expressionless and cold, but suddenly he looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

The silence is suddenly deafening, with the atmosphere too tense to be true. Fyodor stops playing his cello and looks directly at me.

"I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?" I break the silence in when it becomes too much for me. It's been a while since he's spoken, not in full sentences, at least.

His gaze is different, I can't describe it accurately. I've never been able to describe Fyodor accurately.

"No, I was simply thinking about the meaning of your actions." Was it curiosity I'm noticing in his tone? I really don't know, I'm not that good at reading people.

Fyodor put his cello aside and approaches me calmly. He's much taller than me, much to my disgrace. I can smell his cologne on him, it's heady and expensive, I wouldn't mind smelling it any longer.

He smiled slightly, a fake smile, his eyes didn't move from his cold expression.

"There's not much to think about it." Even I didn't know why I walked in. "I guess I wanted to hear you play your cello closer, it sounds beautiful."

I noticed a small change in his expression, now he was really smiling, not only his mouth but also his eyes formed a smile. He keeps his hands folded behind his back as he looks at me intently. I feel nervous about his whole body language, and more so about the fact that he hides his hands, he can perfectly kill me with them in just seconds and I wouldn't see it coming.

"You were looking at me, weren't you? And yet you didn't join me. It's strange that you want to look at me."

The mere thought of approaching him and hearing him play gave me chills. I just shrugged, hoping that would be answer enough for him.

"Will you keep playing?"

"Of course, would you like to join me this time?" Fyodor's smile softened as he said those words, and I, surprisingly, returned the same smile.

"Sure."

I followed him to the center of the room, he sat in his chair and I sat on the floor beneath him. He feeling of inferiority didn't take long to come from being in this position, and more so with his gaze fixed on me, making me feel like I was prey.

I listen attentively to Fyodor's melody, while playing with my hair from time to time to try to calm the nerves of being under Fyodor. My gaze is riveted on him, I feel like a believer watching his God. From the perspective below, Fyodor's features stood out much more, making everything even more enigmatic.

Fyodor stopped playing and looked at me with those violet eyes, pale and piercing, calculating yet peaceful. "What is it, маленькая мышь?" he looked like he could almost read my mind. "What's in that pretty head of yours?" He almost seemed to want to annoy me by the way I looked at him, and more so when he kept a playful smile on his lips.

"Nothing important…" I felt too helpless against Fyodor, against the closest thing to a god in this world. I'm on the ground in front of the Russian, completely vulnerable and helpless, I'm easy prey for him.

"Lying to your God?" his hand came to rest on my hair and began to slowly stroke it. The first affectionate touch I had had in this whole month, it was inevitable to enjoy it and it was inevitable to close my eyes so I could feel it better.

"I'm sorry…" I know very well that Fyodor could kill me simply by activating his ability right now, but for some reason I simply couldn't feel fear about it. I simply stopped bothering and let myself go.

"You belong to me, моя любовь." His hand went down to my cheek and I just leaned against it. "I will never let you go, мой дорогой." He seemed to be talking more to himself than to me, but I nodded anyway.

"I know, I won't try to leave." And I'm not lying, I don't have it in my plans to try, I know well what Fyodor is capable of.

"You have no choice." I opened my eyes slowly to see his figure looming over me, he had a sadistic smile on his face, and leaned closer. His eyes moved to my lips. "If you try to leave, you will be punished."

I don't like that word, punish, it makes me feel like a helpless child. That was a bitter thought, to think of Fyodor as a father angry at his son for disobeying, to think of Fyodor as a God angry at his worshipper for not having faith.

I nodded again as I snuggled even more against his hand. Comfortable enough to forget those thoughts, comfortable enough to forget the situation I was in.

#fyodor x reader #yandere fyodor #bsd fyodor #fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd x reader #fyodor x you #fyodor x y/n #bsd x you #yandere bsd

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yenqa · 6 months

Note

can I request angst for sunoo? there isn't enough of it

four words

synopsis — the four words that ruined everything

warnings — swearing, angst, breaking up, uhh

pairing — sunoo x gn!reader

wordcount — 394

a/n — hi anon! tysm for the request! hopw u enjoyy

“Hey, can we talk?”

Sunoo has a sad look on his face, almost guilty. You turn back to him confused.

“Yeah, of course! What’s up?” Your brain starts to compute the worst things possible, was he dying? Did he rip that one sweater? Did you forget your anniversary? Or wait, was he-

He hesitates, mumbling, “we should break up, Y/n.”

That was certainly not the one you were rooting for.

The room had gone silent, you froze, expecting anything but those four words. Four words that seemed to ruin everything you had.

“Why?”

“I’m moving away, tomorrow.” He looks anywhere but you, seeming to find the plant next to you seriously intriguing.

Another four words that seemed to make everything worse, maybe after this you’ll never say another sentence without counting each word carefully.

You scoff, “You didn’t think to tell me? So you’ve been skipping around acting like everything is normal? Tell me, did you have fun knowing that you would break up with me before you moved?”

He jumps at your words, slightly startled by the things you’re saying. “Y/n it’s not that, I’m moving across the world to South Korea. It wouldn't have worked.”

Looking around incredulously, you retort, “We could’ve made it work. Do you have no trust in us? There's a thing called long distance couples y’know?”

“Yes but—Y/n I’m training to become an idol, I’m sorry I’m choosing my future over our relationship but it needed to be done.”

You wouldn’t be surprised if your face was as red as a tomato, “Are you listening to what I’m even saying?” Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes as you continue, “Sunoo, I couldn’t care less that you’re choosing your career over me, but you’ve been keeping this life changing secret for what? How long have you known about this?”

“I’ve known three months.”

You laugh, tears now spilling out of your eyes are you wipe them away as best as you can. “Oh if that doesn’t make this situation so much better! I’m leaving, Sunoo, have a safe flight.”

Slamming his door you slowly walk to your car, clumsily stepping into your car and driving off.

Just three hours ago you were laughing with him, watching a movie and cuddling as the sun shone brightly in the sky. The moon’s out now, and all that could be heard was your cries until the sunrise.

perm taglist : @jwnghyuns @ja4hyvn @trsrina @redm4ri @badmuni @yeokii @enhastolemyheart @softpia @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @boyfhee

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vivemonroi · 2 months

Text

Ok, it’s just a draft of a translation of the first part of my Charlastor fic (English is my second language). But I think to post it in English, I wrote it like 4 years ago, when the pilot came out. If you notice any mistakes dm me please :3

“The suburb of 'Pentagram-City' could hardly be called serene, rather sparsely inhabited, as most of its denizens preferred to spend their days of indefinite punishment in the city where they could hire a prostitute, grab a drink, or die a gruesome death—anything seemed better than watching the pitiful imitation of local stars. Yet, by a strange twist of fate, right here and now, one could find the daughter of the ruler of the Underworld and one of the most powerful beings of Hell engaged in precisely this mundane activity.

— How did you die?

The question came out awkwardly, unpleasantly slicing through the tranquility of the quiet evening. Charlie shivered, instantly regretting daring to open her mouth and voice it aloud. But Alastor did not flinch, still gazing into the bloody sky of Hell, his lips stretched in a serene smile. Perhaps the demon hadn't heard her? No, considering how meticulously he listened to every word she spoke, that seemed very unlikely.

— You don't have to answer; I understand it's personal…

— I was shot.

His response was brief and to the point, a sharpness uncharacteristic of Alastor that puzzled Charlie even more, but curiosity quickly overcame tact.

— Was it police or…

— Hunters.

— Oh, I see. Sorry.

Coming out of his trance, Alastor looked at her in surprise.

— Why apologize, ma chérie? My demise isn't your fault, and let's be honest, it's not as if I didn't deserve it, though I must admit, I never thought I would die like this. The electric chair, yes, but a bullet? Pathétique! Such a banal method, I would even say barbaric, one shot and that’s it, what about the feelings? Personally, I preferred knives, ah, those emotions: fear, pain, the realization of the end of one's pathetic life…

Toward the end of his sentence, the pleasant French jazz from his inner radio was replaced by crackling and static. Noticing the princess’s slightly frightened look, the demon made a gesture very much like tuning into a radio station, and the melody returned.

— As much as I enjoy discussing my favorite pastime, I see you're uncomfortable. So, let me propose a counter-question, shall we engage in a little ‘quid pro quo’, ma chérie? Why did you ask?'

Charlie hesitated.

— No reason.

Alastor theatrically, almost paternally shook his head in disappointment.

— And this demoness dares teach us redemption! Yet she's not averse to the sin of deceit herself. And after so many sermons! I expected better from you, dear, you wound me deeply.

— It's silly, Al, I don't think you'd understand.

— Ah, but it's up to me to understand you or not, you know. I could have chosen not to answer your question. Asking a sinner how he died? Quelle vulgarité! And coming from the Princess of Hell herself, I think I'll broadcast this; my listeners will be shocked to learn that…

— Alright, alright! I'll tell you, but.. just don't laugh, okay?

— Can’t promise anything.

Charlie sighed; expecting such from him was indeed too much.

— Okay.

She paused for almost a dramatic effect and timidly began:

— You see, I was born here, in Hell, but you... you were born there, in the mortal world. Your main life was there, but... I know nothing but Hell.

She fell silent again for a few seconds, as if bracing herself to utter the next phrase.

She continued:

— I want to see trees, Al, the Sun, the Earth's Sun, animals, the sea with its beaches. I want to dance in the rain, shiver from the cold, languish in the heat! I wish to care for flowers, walk through the city for groceries, help the homeless. Smile at passersby and have them smile back! Greet neighbors, ask for some salt, and share pie recipes. But most of all... most of all, I want to see a rainbow. A real one, after a strong summer storm, when animals and people emerge from their shelters just happy to be alive. I.. I want to live!

On her last words, Charlie's uncertain whisper turned into a shout, and realizing this, she quickly covered her mouth with her hands, blushing with embarrassment. From the city, the drunken songs of bar regulars carried over, occasionally interrupted by the agonized scream of some unfortunate soul, but it seemed no one heard her, or if they did, they frankly didn't care. The audience from the receiver applauded approvingly, Alastor's eyes narrowed slyly.

— Sorry, as I said, it's very silly…

— Not at all, mon trésor, the desire to explore the unknown is perfectly natural for such a curious creature as you. But you're overlooking the fine print: diseases, poverty, wars, miseries, murders, hunger, and I'm not just talking about the physical sensation, lust, debauchery... shall I go on?

Charlie sighed.

— I know, Al, damn it, I grew up in a literal Hell, my whole life is that fine print.

She turned onto her stomach and shyly bit her lip.

— Just... sometimes I feel like I don't belong here...

Alastor laughed, Charlie thought his laughter sounded like radio interference mixed with distorted off-air laughter, but Husk and the other residents of the Hotel disagreed with such a comparison. "It's like dragging a rusty saw across your balls," he would say. Angel, and surprisingly, Vaggie, nodded significantly in agreement. Niffty usually kept quiet, though she admitted her boss's laughter gave her chills.

— Ding-ding-ding, bingo! We have a winner: the charming Princess of Hell who has finally realized the obvious. Honestly, dear, I'm surprised you only realized this now!

— Laugh all you want, Alastor. I shouldn't have started talking about it...

She began to rise from the ground, but Alastor easily grabbed her hand, stopping her.

— Wait, I didn't mean to offend you, at least not this time, really, hold on, no need to create drama out of nothing, please, go on.

Charlie looked at him skeptically, sighed in resignation, and lay back down.

— Don't get me wrong, I know my home is here, my family, my friends... but sometimes, just for a moment, I imagine what it would be like if I were born into a regular family, there. We would live on a farm, raise cows, shear sheep, sow wheat, pick apples. Dad would teach me how to ride a horse, and mom how to sew clothes. I would have a little brother or sister, and a dog! In the evenings, we'd all gather together and listen to music, and on Sundays, go to church...

— Church? I doubt your father would be let in, unless you're talking about the church, ha-ha! Si tu vois ce que je veux dire!

The radio listeners obediently laughed, Charlie shot him a warning glance.

— Oh, you should understand me, my dear, I'm a radio demon, notice 'radio' comes first. It's hard for me not to comment on such a wonderful monologue, especially when you speak with such passion.

A treacherous blush spread over her already red cheeks. She averted her gaze, embarrassed.

— Anyway... you get the idea, but it's just dreams, all I can do is help others reform, to leave this place, even if I never will.

Charlie felt uncomfortable; she hadn't even told Vaggie about this, why did she suddenly decide he would understand? When her heartfelt confessions were not met with an explosion of applause or the demon's own laughter, Charlie finally dared to look his way. To her shock, his face was frighteningly serious, though his eternal smile still lingered on his lips.

— I don't often say this, and it means a lot, but you, Charlie, more than anyone else, deserve a chance to get out of here.

The radio static that usually accompanied Alastor's voice quieted to such an extent that she could hear his soft baritone almost without interference.

Charlie still didn't dare look him in the eyes, the darn blush spreading to her neck, but an uncertain smile appeared on her lips.

— Do you really think so?

Alastor propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her with feigned bewilderment:

— Well, of course! After all, the essence of Hell is to punish sinners. First, you need to have at least a chance to wreak some havoc. If you had ended up here on your own, it would be a different story, but as it is, it's just bo-o-oring.

Even though his words touched that string of her heart, her feelings, which she dared not speak of, even to herself, seeing him almost shyly look away, she decided to leave that topic alone.

They simply lay there for a while, listening to the sensual performance of some early 20th-century French song whose name Charlie didn't know. Each was lost in their thoughts until Alastor sprang to his feet as if scalded.

— Well, I can't promise a rainbow... Get up, Your Majesty!

— Alastor, what are you...

He impatiently extended his hand.

— Hurry up, I might change my mind.

"Here goes nothing," Charlie thought, taking Alastor by the glove. In an instant, they were somewhere else.”

Hate it? Love it? Tell me!

#charlastor #charlie x alastor #radiobelle #alastor x charlie #hazbin hotel 2024 #hazbin charlie #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #fanfic #hazbin fanfic #alastor #charlie morningstar

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rocketturtle4 · 9 months

Text

Why Kawi Felt Inentionally Ace Coded

This is the second post I am making about this show for this week, the first was about what I think went down around time travel in this ep and I will directly reference those theories.

Also I just think the way this episode was playing with flash forwards and backs (with both Piseang’s conversation with his mum AND Max’s convo with Kawi – ALSO A FLASHBACK FYI) is VERY INTENTIONAL. (for the purpose of keeping us both in and out of the loop)

Okay so, for the record I really didn’t plan to actively engage in BMF this week, I am mid spiral on an entirely different TV show and this show did not have my full focus while I watched it this morning.

HOWEVER

This moment

[Image ID: Kawi saying "Do you think it's possible for two people dating to have no sexual activity at all]

Took my attention and kept it, I was yelling and I made 2 quick reaction posts about the fact that I was yelling (1, 2)

I will add here that @dropthedemiurge posted about Kawi being definitely ace coded LAST WEEK (I couldn't find it sorry but I remember reading it) as well as this week 2 and @heretherebedork had two different posts about this this week.

Also there is legit evidence for this being about touch starvation and intimacy issues (@shouldiusemyname) and if they do this well I wont be mad but…

It Felt VERY ACE CODED To me

And it felt a bit smack in your face ace coded in a way that to me was throwing up giant WE ARE GOING THERE flags. These flags, to me, were primarily in the LANGUAGE that was used more than Kawi’s physical body langue (which was more ambiguous between the two theories), and this is even trickier because of the layers of translation involved.

So lets talk about those flags

(Also I’m demisexual and demiromantic so my own lens is definitely colouring my view)

Max’s convo with Kawi

I actually loved this convo FOR Max’s response, not because he responded well (if Kawi is ace) but because he DIDN’T respond well. This show is doing a really good job of allowing it’s characters to be flawed and I reckon both Max and Piseang got to be flawed in this episode.

Max has been our gay Yoda

Max has been on point with all his advice

Kawi and Piseang are together in part due to Max’s advice,

But do you know what else Max is?

A 20 YEAR OLD

Max isn’t the person Kawi needs to talk to in this moment, because Kawi’s experiences are no longer aligning with his, and all of his advice thus far has been based on HIS OWN EXPERIENCE (which he literally says by the way):

[Image ID: Max speaking while the subtitles translate the start of his sentence as "Personally,"]

Kawi’s language in this convo was REAL SUS

On top of the first line pictured above, their conversation includes

Max: You’ve already crossed the line, what are you afraid of?

Kawi responds

[Image ID: Kawi saying "I'm not afraid. I just don't think it's that significant."]

Then we get Maxs scoff (SCOFF!!): "Right, The word from someone who’s never had sex"

And his positive take on how important sex is for a relationship and an Individual

And the implication that doing it with someone you love is even better

Then

Max: Are you going to sleep next to each other holding hands forever?

[Image ID: Kawi saying "That's good." with an acesexual black, grey, white and purple flag added to the image]

@sparklyeyedhimbo I like the flag one so I borrowed it.

Then Max points out that it will only work out if Piseang feels the same way.

my thoughts:

Max is very dismissive of Kawi in this convo, there is a real disconnect with Kawi’s tentative questions and Max’s certain responses. Again I THINK THIS IS INTENTIONAL as per above. (For anyone who wants to check again its part 3/4 from around the 2 minute mark)

Kawi doesn’t seem afraid, he seems genuinely confused about not wanting sex. And personally, I’ve BEEN THERE.

Back in the bedroom

Now here we get some fear as Kawi finds condoms, panics and pretends to sleep.

Something I find interesting about this is he doesn’t pretend to sleep facing away from where Piseang would lie or curled up, he is still placed fairly centrally on the bed. His body language isn’t overly defensive (in my uninformed opinion). Now this could just be that he trusts Piseang regardless but I wanted to point it out.

[Image ID: Piseang standing at the foot of the bed look at Kawi apparently asleep in bed]

Then Piseang Time Travels (Full clown, I’m committed)

(I just watched the scene again and Kawi opens his eyes and we don’t see Piseang while the music plays, this scene is legit from Kawi’s point of view and we’ve already seen that the travel isn’t visible to the person not holding the magic globe so I AM EVEN MORE CERTAIN)

Anyway back to this post

Piseang goes to bed and looks at kawi like this

[Image ID: Piseang staring at Kawi]

(I’m just putting this here and choosing to interpret it as weighted with future knowledge lol)

Which post is this again?

Ah yes Ace!Kawi

So we get bed in the morning and Kawi pretending to sleep and then Piseang goes

[Image ID: Piseang rolls to lie on top of Kawi]

And Kawi informs him that he’s heavy.

There’s no recoil

There’s no fear

Until

[Image ID: Piseang says "Would you like to get on top instead then?"]

Even then he’s startled more than scared in my humble opinion

Until Piseang tries to kiss him

[Image ID: Kawi making a very surprised/scared face]

Then Kawi pushes him off and leaves

Piseang continues to try and encourage intimacy

HOLD ON I HAVE A SECOND CLOWN THEORY ABOUT THE FUTURE

(I’m less convinced about my projections for what happens in the future, Piseang looks so content, maybe he just get’s a glimpse of domestic bliss…It needs to be next week already. FOR THE RECORD I’m sticking with clown theory 1 if I have to choose).

We get this moment

[Image ID: Two images of Kawi as Piseang wipes something off the corner of his mouth and Kawi's expression goes from anger to something softer]

And Kawi’s change of experession here is so tender, I feel like this could be coded either way intimacy issues or strong romantic feelings, it’s not lust though that’s for sure. (I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be using coded for intamacy but *shrugs*)

(oooo I wonder if the language play came from his glimpse into the future)

I’m going to skip ahead to the theme park or this will go forever

The bits in between feel more ambiguous to me

THESE LINES FELT SUPER ACE CODED

[Image ID: Piseang saying "If you just wanted to eat, why did you ask me to take you to a theme park? then Kawi saying "I just wanted to get the vibes. The thing that can make me the happiest is eating"]

Food over sex is a legit part of the ace community (the same way tucked in shirts and clear phone cases are part of the bi community from what I understand)

[Image ID: Kawi still saying "The thing that can make me the happiest is eating" now holding up a corn cob]

(If Kawi had held up cake here I would be ALL IN)

Then we get the rollercoaster metaphor!

[Image ID: Kawi and Piseang both looking at the rollercoarster, Piseang looks excited Kawi looks concerned/apprehensive/is making a woah face]

I’m just going to transcribe here it’s quicker and I’m running out of time before I go out tonight:

K: This is too much. Not this ride

P: Come on, Let’s try it first

K: No, I don’t like it.

P: You haven’t tried it yet. How do you know if you like It or not. You said you’d never been to a theme park.

P: If you don’t try it, it’s the same as if you’ve never been here

e.g. Coming to a theme park isn’t the same as enjoying the ride

Then P holds out his hand

P: If you’re scared, just hold onto my hand, Okay?

[Image ID: Kawi looking at Piseang]

K looks at Piseangs hand, Looks at Piseang, Looks at the ride and says

K: No! I won’t get on it. You can go alone if you want to. I’ll just wait here

And walks off

[Image ID: Piseang looks disapointed]

This again felt to me like a rejection of the fear as the primary motivation, he directly says he’s not afraid but he still doesn’t want to

I’m not sure about this scene in the car, it mostly just felt like Kawi was fed up at this point.

[Image ID: Kawi and Piseang in the car]

Possibly this scene highlights the different places there in and how Piseang is open to new experience and Kawi’s not? This feels more intimacy coded than ace.

Restaurant Scene

[Image ID: Kawi and Piseang looking tired in the restaurant]

Both Kawi and Piseang look so worn out in this scene, they both spent the whole day not communicating their true wants and fears and it’s left them all worn down

But Piseang doesn’t give up

[Image ID: Piseang saying "Whatever I did wrong today, you can tell me." and Kawi responding "Today was great."]

Kawi responds to this sincerity and reaches out to hold Piseang’s hand.

KAWI is the one WHO REACHES OUT, again this reads as specifically felt to me as a reason against touch starved.

[Image ID: Two images of Piseang and Kawi holding hands in the restaurant]

And then we’re in the bedroom (time skip anyone).

I’m actually not going to analyse this scene at all much. If Kawi is ace then he can still choose to have sex provided he and Piseang have communicated and if it’s intimacy issues then I also think it’s okay provided they’ve communicated first. ( idon't actually currently think Kawi is demi for the record)

(even when Piseang takes his shirt off, Kawi’s eyes stay on Piseangs face)

(although Piseangs do too actually…)

[Image ID: Two images of Kawi and Piseang after they have removed their shirts staring at each other. The first image contains the subtitle of Piseang saying "are you sure?"

(god his eyes are so big here compared to their often squintiness)

He doesn’t pull back but leans into the kiss. He’s clearly sure of his decision. I’m just not sure about his reasons.

[Image ID: Piseang and Kawi kissing]

Both Piseangs hands are on Kawi, but Kawi’s hands are straight down, I think this could go with either theory but personally on the few occasions I’ve made out with someone “what do I do with my hands?” loops in my head lol so I found this relatable.

Make of this what you will!!

Thoughts on Kawi and Kissing Piseang while he’s drunk

Honestly this doesn't feel weird to me, romantic attraction can involve kissing and drunk!kawi is just giving in to his confused thoughts and feelings, Aesthetic attraction can trick you too if you're not aware of your own identity (lol I had sex with someone before I experienced sexual attraction for the first time and felt very confused about why I didn't really feel like doing it again after even though it had been a positive experience, It was WILD), Kawi kisses Piseang because he likes him and is then confused about Why TF it doesn't feel like it's "supposed" to, *shrugs* make of that what you will.

Additional Thoughts

I’m reading into past future events now but I wonder about Pear and Kawi’s relationship.

Did they have sex?

There was clearly something fundamentally wrong with it, and the show talks about Kawi prioritising work, but it’s all a bit ambiguous and we never got any impression of intimacy. The fact that Pear is pregnant and Kawi doesn’t question if he’s the father, how long have they been broken up? Why did Pear seek out Not in the first place? Did Pear assume Kawi was gay because they didn't have sex??

ALSO

The scene where Kawi stares at Piseang while he was sleeping (Ep 9) I'm not going back to find it now or this won't get posted for like another 14 hours but it also felt ace-coded but I shrugged it off.

ALSO I HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT LOL

(@lurkingshan and @clairificusrex since you helped with my thoughts)

#be my favorite #be my favorite the series #be my favorite meta #ace-coding in be my favorite #rturts is wondering #long post

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