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buckleyblueyes · 3 years

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buddie + coming out

Jess this got...so fucking long. I'm putting it under a cut. (send me a ship and a word and I'll give you a head canon)

Okay, so Buck first. I imagine that Buck first realized he wasn’t straight when he was in high school. He didn’t mention it to his parents because it’s not like they were that interested in who he was dating anyway. But he did come out to Maddie back then. They were driving around her jeep (coming out in cars is Real okay) and there was some cheesy pop music on the radio (it was the early 2000s) and he didn’t have the word “bisexual” just yet, but she asked if he was dating anyone/if he had a crush on someone and he said “uh...yeah. His name’s Jamie.” and she just took it in stride. Just kind of “oh, okay.” and then he added quickly “I still like girls, too, though” and since she was already through college at this point, so she knew sexuality wasn’t just gay and straight, so she didn’t even blink. “So, tell me about him” and he did. When he was done, she grinned, told him she wanted to meet Jamie some time, and turned up the radio. They drove around some more singing along to whatever cheesy pop song played next.

As far as Buck coming out as an adult, at some point in his late teens or early twenties he found the word bisexual. He never really tried to hide it, but he also never went out of his way to broadcast it. He never felt ashamed of his sexuality, per se, but he never felt proud of it either. It was just like...sometimes he dated guys, y’know? Anyways so flash forward to when he joins the 118. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, but at some point early on Hen describes him as “a straight white boy” and he’s like “bold of you to assume I’m straight” “you’re not?” “not even a little” and leaves it at that. Sometimes he mentions hookups with guys during his 1.0 phase, but other than that he doesn’t really talk about it. He comes out to Eddie sometime in season 3, when he’s bemoaning his loneliness and Eddie says “you’ll find the right girl someday” and Buck suddenly realizes he’s never actually told Eddie he’s into guys so he responds. “Right person, actually.” and Eddie blinks twice. “What?” and Buck sighs. “I’ll find the right person, I’m bisexual.” and Eddie blinks again. “Oh...Cool…” and then they just move on.

Which brings us to Eddie. Eddie does not come to the realization that he’s queer until much later in life. He worries he might be gay in high school, because everyone else is interested in dating and girls, and he’s just. Not. Everyone always tells him that he and his good friend Shannon would make a good couple, and he’s pretty sure she has a crush on him, but he just likes her as a friend. Until one day, the summer after they graduate from high school, he looks at her and his heart starts racing and his palms are sweating but it’s not from the Texas humidity and oh my god. Is this what liking someone feels like? This is terrible, actually. But he was right about Shannon having a crush on him, so they start dating, and it’s great. And Eddie is relieved because falling in love with Shannon means he’s straight. He was just a late bloomer, like his mom said.

Anyways, so flash forward about twelve years and Eddie is starting to think he was wrong before. Oh, God, he was so wrong. He’s not sure when Buck went from his best friend to someone he was falling in love with, but it’s too late to go back now. But it’s fine. It’s fine. Buck is straight anyway, so it’s not even worth getting worked up over because it’s never going to happen and--Buck isn’t straight. Oh, hell.

And then he meets Ana, and she’s, well. She’s pretty, and he likes that she guesses his name right, but then he blows up at her and also she’s his son’s teacher, so that’s kind of weird. And then the pandemic hits, and he’s forced into close quarters with Buck and it gets impossible to deny his feelings to himself any longer. But he doesn’t know what to do about it. The problem for Eddie is that he’s only really had strong feelings for two people ever in his life, and the word ‘bisexual’ doesn’t to fit. More like ‘these two people in particular-sexual’ but that doesn’t really make sense.

So, when Ana comes back into his life, it seems like the easy way out. Nobody has to know that he has all these weird, confusing, not-heterosexual feelings. He’s 33 years old, who has a sexuality crisis at 33? Of course, the universe has other plans. He gets shot, he almost dies, and he realizes he doesn’t really feel anything for Ana and he probably never will, and predictably by the time he’s finally ready to confront his feelings and sexuality, Buck is dating Taylor. Great.

Anyways, so Eddie goes to Hen for help figuring himself out because if anyone would be able to help, his married lesbian friend seems like a very good bet. And he’s right. He explains how he’s only ever been in love with two people and that gender doesn’t seem to be a big factor in it, and she points him to the concept of asexuality and aromanticism, and more specifically demisexuality/demiromanticism and it just clicks for him. He wasn’t a “late bloomer” after all. So, I guess Hen is the first person Eddie comes out to. And he doesn’t really feel the need to come out to anyone else at that point because it’s not really anyone’s business.

Eventually, he and Buck get together. And for Buck, telling people isn’t a big deal because he’s been out as bi for years. Eddie isn’t reluctant to tell their found family, or even the rest of the 118. But he is nervous to tell his biological family. He doubts they’ll be too happy about him being with a man, let alone understand the concept of demisexuality. He starts with Abuela and Pepa, the family he’s closer to (literally and figuratively). He comes out to both of them at the same time, at Abuela’s, over a home cooked meal. He tells them that he and Buck are dating, that he loves him. Pepa puts a hand over his and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I’m proud of you,” she says. “It was about time you put that boy out of his misery.”

Eddie chokes on a surprised laugh. Then he looks at Abuela. Abuela is quiet for a minute before standing and walking around the table to where Eddie is sitting. She pulls him up to standing and gives him a tight hug. “Te quiero.”

Next he comes out to his sisters, who are pretty chill about the whole thing, and lastly his parents. His parents liked Buck when they met briefly, so if Eddie was going to be with a man, at least he picked a good one. And given that the rest of the family already knows and is supportive, it’s not like anyone would be on their side if they had a problem with it, and they want to keep seeing their grandson. So they just say “okay” and accept it in the most passive way possible.

Anyways this got SUPER DUPER long and detailed, so I’m going to end it with this: After they’ve been out (both Eddie coming out and Buck and Eddie being out as a couple) for awhile, Hen drags them to that year’s LA Pride with her, Karen, and the kids, and they end up meeting up with Michael, David, Harry and May there (and Bobby who is wearing a t-shirt that says “Free Dad Hugs” in rainbow letters, Buck takes him up on the offer immediately).

#buddie #bi Buck #demi Eddie #you can pry my demisexual/demiromantic eddie headcanons out of my cold dead hands!!!!!!!!#coming out hcs #1331 words later lmao

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katzkinder · 2 years

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Wrath Group and Jeanne D'arc

Wrath Fam Posting never ends, because I like them and thank you all so much for encouraging that 💕

idk what it is about this group that keeps drawing me back to them. Maybe it's because Norse mythology is one of my special interests, maybe it's because the story of Wrath arc moved me so much, maybe I'm just gay as hell. Who knows, who cares, they make me happy, and I'm glad I get to share that joy with all of you~

--Alright enough sappiness, down to business

As the title of the post says, this is going to focus on the ways Strike uses references to Jeanne D'arc as a character motif for the Wrath group, which I consider to consist of Freya, Gil, Ray, and of course, Iduna.

First up, Freya. This one's super easy. We all know Jeanne was executed under false charges of heresy, but the thing that did her in, the one accusation the English levied at her that somehow stuck was... Cross dressing. Now, Freya as we see her is a very feminine woman, but her battle outfit when paired with Iduna is undoubtedly a military uniform, and canon shows us that it was quite common for Freya to be wandering around battlefields, picking up subclass as she pleased.

The "men's clothing" Jeanne wore was armor, and her short haircut she had throughout her military career was for the sake of convenience, not because she was attempting to dress as a man. (@redlanternchild also makes note of this in her post here! Very reassuring that I am not, in fact, an insane person ww. I love her analysis in general so please give her blog a look through if you haven't already; It's super duper worth it!)

It's also a common misconception that Jeanne was executed as a witch, one that might be due to how she was depicted in Shakespeare's Henry IV part 1, where, spurred on by common English propaganda at the time of writing, she was portrayed as a witch and a promiscuous woman (This makes Freya's one-sided adoration for her baby brother rather... bitter, in a funny way). And, well... Gear went and rescued Freya from a witch trial, so. There ya go.

Second comes Freya's subclass, Gilberto Weasel and Rayscent Crazyrabbit, aka, Gil and Ray!

Using Italian pronunciation of Gil's name would make it sound closer to "Jill," while Ray, is, well, Ray! Put em together, and you've got something remarkably close to Jeanne's compatriot and the commander of the French army, Gilles de Rais!

Now for birthdays. Birthdays for characters in Servamp are NEVER chosen Just Because, and Freya's subclass are no exception.

Gil's birthday is February 12th, which also falls on the day the Battle of Herrings started, allll the way back in 1429. It's a really minor battle within the Hundred Years War, but, it was the date Jeanne met with Robert de Baudricourt and ended up, ahem, convinced to help her. It's actually really funny; she basically cornered the dude and then proceeded to publicly lecture everyone present until he relented. This is significant because Jeanne's encounter with Baudricourt is considered by historians to be her first major step towards her career and fame, much like Iduna's first meeting with Gil was what pushed her to really think about what she was creating, who for, and why.

Now, time for Ray! Ray's birthday is May 15th, which just so happens to coincide with the day Gilles de Rais kidnapped a cleric during a dispute at the Church of Saint-Étienne-de-Mer-Morte. This ultimately prompted an investigation by the Bishop of Nantes, during which evidence of Rais's crimes as the infamous "Bluebeard" was uncovered. ... Basically he murdered and did Other Things to a bunch of kids but let's just move past that, ayup.

Finally, we have the Star (lol) of our show... Iduna! She's the most obvious of the bunch with her connections, to the point that I almost feel silly bringing it up? But I also realize that people genuinely might not realize some of these because it just never came up in their lives before.

First, Jeanne's nickname was the Maid of Orléans, and she wasn’t just a flag bearer who rallied the troops. She also carried a sword into battle, a fact that for whatever reason is often left out when discussing her accomplishments. Iduna's combo with Freya is literally named "Maid of Orléans (Draw your sword)", and its effect is to give Freya the weapon she is lacking to become a perfect bastion of offense and defense. I'd have to be a total idiot to miss that given that even FGO, which, as I mentioned in a different post about Freya, plays it VERY fast and loose with history, gets this right, and how popular Jeanne D’arc is as a person to take inspiration from for fictional characters.

(side note, but i wonder if the design of Freya's demon was inspired somewhat by Fate Extra CCC's Karna? Strike's definitely a Fate fan and has even drawn Ildio in Gilgamesh cosplay, so it's entirely possible considering she loves to sprinkle in homages to series she likes within character design)

Second, and I've mentioned it in a previous post, Iduna's birthday, May 30th, is also the day Jeanne died at the hands of the English.

Jeanne was also only 17 the day she first rode into battle, just like Iduna! She's also the patron saint of prisoners (of which C3 was keeping the subclass as, and they were freed and safely guided out of the collapse thanks to Iduna intervening with the battle between Shamrock and Shuuhei) and soldiers, especially female soldiers like Freya. However, she's much more well known for being the patron saint of France ww

Finally, there’s one of the charges leveled at Jeanne during her trial. While she was captured by the Burgundians, there was an incident where she jumped from a 21 meter(!!) tall tower, and she safely landed on the ground despite the height (but was quickly recaptured). Now the reason for this seems to have conflicting sources, and I… Do not speak French |D

Some say she was merely attempting to escape, others insist that she did so to save a nearby village. Point being, she leapt, survived, was captured, and maybe did so for not her own sake, but for others.

Anybody remember the end of chapter 106 and the entirety of chapter 107? Iduna, using a new invention, leaps from the window of the hospital (much to Gil and Ray’s distress lol) in order to more immediately tend to the injured Nicco, and her kindness is met with being taken hostage. I just thought this one was a funny little coincidence and probably not intentional, so take it as you like~

#servamp #kat's katerwauling #long post #servamp freya #gilberto weasel #rayscent crazyrabbit #iduna nobel

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thetravelerwrites · 3 years

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Urgan (Orc)

Rating: Mature Relationship: Male Human/Male Orc Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, Orc, Male Reader, MLM, Gay Reader, Football Captain, College, Friends to Lovers Content Warnings: Alcohol Poisoning, Children, Kids, Pregnancy, Unwanted Pregnacy, Mention of Abortion, College Drop-Out, Strong Language, Drug Use, Angst, Super Angst, ALL THE ANGST Words: 4385

A super duper angsty commission by the wonderful @severedreamerbeard! Urgan is the captain of his college football team and all around cool dude. He's an extremely reliable guy with his whole life ahead of him... until the woman he's been dating winds up pregnant, which turns his entire world upside down. The reader, Urgan's best friend, tries to help as much as he can while watching Urgan's life fall apart. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

Urgan had been your best friend since preschool. You were human and he was an orc, but you were both jocks growing up, both in sports, both athletic. He’d been there with you through all the major events in your life. He was there when your parents divorced, when you came out as gay in middle school, and when the teammates who had once been friends started bullying you because of it. He was always there.

You hoped you had been as good a friend to him as he had been to you. You were there when his dad died, when his mom remarried someone he hated, and when his highschool sweetheart cheated on him. After all that, the two of you were closer than brothers.

College life was easier on both of you. You both had gotten a sports scholarship and found a friend group that was a lot of fun to hang out with. Parties were epic, classes were less so, but you were living the life and loving every second of it.

Then it changed. Not for everyone, not even for you. Or at least, it didn’t have to. You could have made different choices. It would have been far easier if you had, you were sure. But…

“How long have you been dating Kelly?” You asked him over a beer. The two of you were sitting out on the front porch of a house party currently in full swing.

“Who?” He snorted, half-asleep. He’d pulled an all-nighter the day before preparing for his psych exam.

“Kelly,” You said, pointing into the open door at the girl wearing a halter with a half-empty vodka bottle in her hand, some of which she’d spilled on her chest, grinding on another girl who was sucking the vodka off of her clavicle.

“I wouldn’t say we’re ‘dating’,” He replied, throwing back a large swig of his beer. “Fucking, yes. I’m not trying to date anyone right now. I don’t have the time.” He threw his beer bottle into a large trash barrel and stood up. “Where’s Derek? He owes me fifty bucks.”

“For what?” You asked, standing up and following him through the house. He slapped Kelly’s ass as he passed her on the way inside, and she laughed.

“I borrowed it to buy coke three weeks ago,” He said.

“Didn’t he almost OD?” You asked.

“Yeah, but that ain’t my fault, I want my money,” Urgan said, muscling his way through the crowd.

“Don’t be an asshole, bro,” You said, still following him.

“I’m not being an asshole! It’s not like he learned anything, I bet you five bucks he’s doing coke right now.”

“Yeah, I’m not taking that bet,” You laughed. “I don’t know of a time when he’s not on coke. I think he was high when we first met.”

“That’s my point. You know I’m cool about that stuff normally, but it’s affecting his performance on the field,” Urgan grumbled. “I’m team captain, and if he doesn’t straighten up, I have to kick him off the team, friend or not. We lost to E.U. because of him.”

You grimaced. E.U. had been your school’s rival for generations. The loss hurt and was a huge blow to Urgan. It didn’t help that it was televised nationally.

“If you kick him off the team, the other guys will be pissed,” You reasoned.

“I know that,” He said grumpily. “But managing the team internally is my job. If I don’t do something about it, coach will either demote me or kick me off with him for not handling it when I should have. I can’t afford to lose my scholarship over some douchebag’s coke habit.” He made his way into the garage at the opposite end of the house and smacked a seated Derek on the back of the head. “Hey, Derek! Money! Now!”

“Dude, back off!” Derek protested. “I’ll get it to you when I get it, damn!”

“Not good enough,” Urgan said, kicking the mirror that was in front of Derek. Powder went flying.

“Hey!” Derek said, standing up and taking a swing at Urgan. Urgan ducked and caught Derek’s arm, pinning it behind him. He was always quick.

“Quit the coke or quit the team,” Urgan said, snarling. “We’re not losing another game because you’re too high to play.”

“The fuck are you talking about, man?” Derek said, struggling. “Don’t blame that shit on me! It’s not my fault you can’t organize your team!”

“I’m serious, dude,” Urgan said, pushing Derek to the ground. “I’m not getting punished for you. Straighten up or fuck off.”

“Suck my dick, asshole,” Derek said. He jerked his chin at you. “Or get your boyfriend to do it.”

Words like that were water off your back at this point, but it always riled Urgan up. You could already see him tensing.

“Let it go, dude,” You said, pulling him back. “Derek, seriously, you’re bringing the whole team down. Lay off the drugs, at least until after the championship.”

“Get the fuck out of my house if you’re going to act all high and mighty,” Derek said, pushing past you. “And you can forget that fifty bucks. It’s all over the ground now.”

Urgan’s fists were balled up and he was breathing hard.

“He’s not going to stop,” Urgan said.

“Come on, dude,” You said, smacking him on the shoulder. “You’re not going to accomplish anything here. Take it to the field. Show him why you’re captain.”

“I guess,” He said. “I’m hungry, man, let’s grab something.”

“Sure,” You said. “Kelly’s coming over to your place after the party, though, right?”

“Yeah, but she won’t be any shape to do anything but sleep. She knows where the key is, she’ll be fine.”

Finals were coming up, and most people were holed up in their rooms or dorms studying. Urgan was a decent student and never really worried about tests, though you hadn’t heard from him in a couple of days, which was odd. He could have been working a lot; he had a part-time job to pay for his own studio apartment. He said the dorms were too small for him.

“Urgan? No, I haven’t seen him in a week.” Joey said. Joey was a coworker from the bar where Urgan worked and also an ex-boyfriend of yours. You bumped into him at the university’s library while looking for Urgan. Urgan hadn’t answered his door when you went to check on him, so you figured he had to be here.

“Is he sick?” You asked, taking out your phone. You’d texted him awhile ago and you saw that he had seen it, but he hadn’t responded.

“I dunno,” Joey said. “All I know is that he asked the boss for some personal time. It could just be finals getting to him.”

You frowned. “Hmm… I’m going back to his apartment. He’s never been this quiet before. Something’s not right.”

“Tell him to come back to work. All the girls try to flirt with me when he’s not there. I need him to be my shield.”

You laughed and waved him off, heading out.

“Urgan!” You called, knocking insistently on his door. “Open the door! Are you alright?”

No answer. Frustrated, you got the spare key that was hidden in a slit of the doormat and unlocked the door. His apartment was dark and looked normal. Urgan was a fairly tidy guy, and nothing was really out of place.

“Urgan!” You called again, walking around the partition that obscured his bed. There he was, passed out on top of his blankets. There were empty bottles of liquor everywhere. Your heart stopped.

“Oh, fuck, please don’t be dead,” You said, crawling on the bed to slap him in the face. “Urgan, wake up!” His skin was cold, which scared the shit out of you, but after a minute feeling for a pulse on his neck you found a heartbeat, and you could see him breathing very slowly, so at least he was alive. But he wasn’t responding to your attempts to rouse him.

“Shit.” You took out your phone and called and called emergency services.

“911, what’s the nature of your emergency?”

“Hey, I need an ambulance, I think my friend has alcohol poisoning.” You said quickly, hoping it was intelligible, and gave them the address.

“Okay, sir, how long has this been going on?”

“I’m not sure, I just found him. I haven’t heard from him in days. He’s got a pulse, but he won’t wake up.”

“Is he cold to the touch?”

“Yes.”

“Is he breathing?”

“Slowly, but yes.”

“Can you make sure his airway is clear?”

You put the phone down and opened his mouth. There didn’t seem to be anything in the way.

“It’s clear,” You said.

“Alright, sir, I’ve got an ambulance on the way. Do me a favor and turn him on his side and bend the leg that’s on the top. Keep his airway clear and keep an eye on his breathing.”

“Okay,” You said, doing as the operator said and trying to keep calm.

The ambulance arrived within minutes, and after several moments of the EMTs attempting to wake him and failing, they loaded him in the rig. You were able to ride with him to the hospital. They took you both to a room, and you stood back as they began hooking Urgan up to all sorts of tubes and wires. They put a tube in his mouth because his breathing was weak and slowing down. They put him on a heavy saline drip and debated whether or not to pump his stomach. Eventually, they left him to rest and you sat with him.

“What the fuck is happening with you, man?” You asked him quietly as he slept.

Eventually, you fell asleep, and when you woke up, they were taking the air tube out of his throat. Urgan was awake and groaning in discomfort as it was removed.

“Dude, what the hell?” You said, standing up.

His eyes were bloodshot and he looked extremely sick, but at least he was awake. He waited for the doctors and the nurses to leave so that it was just you and him before he answered you.

“Kelly’s pregnant,” He said hoarsely. “It’s mine. She’s sure of it.”

“Oh, shit,” You said, sitting back down in the chair next to him. “I thought you used protection.”

“I do,” He said in frustration. “The condom must have broken or something. She told me she was on the pill. I don’t know what happened. I’m so fucking screwed.”

“You may not be,” You said, trying to comfort him, but you knew he was right. Being team captain meant that you put the team before everything. If you had another priority, you couldn’t be team captain. Not to mention the scandal of having a kid during the height of his college career would destroy his reputation and make him seem irresponsible. A baby right now was going to ruin him.

“Don’t bullshit me. I can’t show my face at school. Coach is going to kick my ass as soon as he finds out. My life is over.”

“Don’t talk like that, man,” You said. “What’s Kelly saying about all this? Has she told anyone?”

“No, not yet,” He said, covering his eyes. “Well, she hadn’t when I started drinking, but I don’t know if she has now.”

“She wants to keep it?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t get farther than ‘I’m having a baby and it’s yours’. And then I just started drinking and didn’t stop.”

“How far along is she?”

“Three months, she said.”

“How does she know it’s yours?”

“I was the only person she was sleeping with at the time. We were thinking about dating seriously, but it didn’t work out that way.”

“Do you believe that?”

“I don’t know. We’ll find out, I guess.”

You frowned deeply. “She’s… been partying pretty hard in the last three months.”

Urgan rubbed his face. “I know. I’m scared shitless the kid is going to be born fucked up.”

“Do you… think you can talk her into giving it up? For adoption, I mean? She doesn’t seem like mom material.”

“I don’t know,” He said. “I don’t know what she’ll do.”

“What about…” You hesitated to mention it. “What about an abortion?”

“That’s her decision,” He said vaguely. “It’s her body.”

“Do you want me to talk to her?”

“No, don’t,” He said. “I’ll do it when I’ve got my head on right.”

“Dude, look where you are right now,” You said, gesturing vaguely. “Let me at least call her.”

He sighed. “Fine.”

You took Urgan’s phone, which was in his back pocket when he was brought in, and called Kelly. She was surprised to hear about Urgan’s condition and said she’d come up to the hospital.

She arrived an hour later and you gave them some privacy to talk. It was a while, so you went to grab a soda. When you came back, Kelly was leaving with tears on her face. You went in and saw Urgan sitting up in bed. His eyes were red from crying.

“Hey man, are you okay?”

“No,” He said, wiping his face and sniffing. “She’s going to keep it. I’m leaving school.”

“What?” You said, coming around. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m gonna finish out the semester but I’m leaving before the baby is born. I have to find a better job. I’m hoping I can come back when the baby is a bit older, like when they start school or something, and finish my degree.”

“But you only have a year left! Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

“No!” He shouted. “I don’t want to leave school! I’ve been dreaming of this scholarship since I was a kid! It was my dad’s dream! But I’m not going to be a deadbeat! I have to find a decent job before the baby is born. I don’t have a choice.”

You were stunned to silence and just listen to him breathe through his tears.

“Are you and Kelly staying together?”

“Fuck no,” He said vehemently. “We both know that would be stupid. She’s going to stay in school as long as she can. She’s supposed to be due in winter sometime, so I should have enough saved up by then to give her for the baby, to make sure they’re comfortable.” He scowled. “I’m sure Derek is going to be thrilled. I can just see the look on his face now.”

“Don’t worry about that jackass,” You said. “Dude, I… Is there anything I can do to help out?”

He shook his head. “Kelly and I are going to keep this quiet until the end of the semester so that we don’t have to deal with anyone bullshit. After that, we’ll start telling people.”

“You’re not going to tell your mom?”

“Not yet. I can’t face her yet. She’s going to be so disappointed in me.” His tears began to fall again, and all you could do was put a hand on his shoulder and be there for him.

“I won’t say anything to anyone,” You told him. “I’m still your best friend, no matter what. If you need anything, you know I got you.”

“Thanks, man,” He said, his voice breaking.

Urgan finished out school as he planned, barely scraping a passing grade, and then notified everyone that he wouldn’t be returning. As expected, his coach was furious, his mom was disappointed, and the team was dumbfounded. Derek was the only person who seemed to be enjoying the situation.

During summer, he asked for an amniocentesis, both to prove whether or not Urgan was the father, and also to check for any genetic conditions, since Kelly’s family had a history of genetic diseases. Urgan was hoping that she was lying about only sleeping with him around the time she conceived and that he would wind up not the father so he could go back to school, but the test was conclusive. The baby was his.

Urgan found work pretty quickly at a seafood processing plant near town. It was grueling work and it didn’t pay much, but it was a full-time job and had healthcare benefits, which was the best he could hope for in these circumstances. He began saving immediately to buy clothes and diapers for his kid, which he recently found out was a little girl, and was in frequent contact with Kelly. He didn’t attend any of the doctor’s visits at Kelly’s request. Not that he wanted to be there in the first place.

You continued with college and partied like a normal college guy, stayed on the football team, and was promoted to captain. Urgan seemed happy for you and gave you pointers on leadership. If he resented you for it, he gave no sign.

Many of Urgan’s old friends, mostly team members, dropped him immediately. They no longer invited him to parties or events, and when you mentioned inviting him, they shot you down. As far as you knew, the only one who still stood by him was you, and you couldn’t be there as much as you wanted to as you now had responsibilities with the team.

Even still, if he called, you dropped what you were doing and went over. You promised you’d be there, and you were going to keep that promise. He was your best friend and you were going to stand with him. No matter what.

Urgan’s daughter, Roga, was born in November. She was small, even for a half-orc. You were there in the waiting room for the birth with the grandparents. It might have been your presence that stopped them from being at each other’s throats; the animosity in the air was palpable. Kelly’s dad was there, looking not-best-pleased at Urgan’s mom, despite her being nearly twice his size, but no harsh words were said.

Urgan came out in the full paper surgical outfit, holding the baby. He even seemed happy.

“Here she is,” He said, holding her out for the grandparents to see.

“Oh, isn’t she precious,” Urgan’s mom, Reana, said. “She’s got your eyes, Urg.”

“Yeah,” He said, smiling. “She looks a bit like dad, don’t you think?”

“She does!” Reana said brightly. “That nose definitely looks like his.”

The grandparents took turns holding the baby, and then went in to see the mother.

“Hey,” Urgan said to you, the only one left in the room. “Do you want to hold her?”

You chuckled nervously. “I dunno, man, I’ve never held a baby.”

“Neither have I, before today,” He said. “You don’t have to. I just wanted to offer since everyone else got to.”

“Yeah, but they’re family.”

“You’re family, too,” He said, looking at you like you were being an idiot.

You smiled a little and held out your arms, and Urgan carefully lay the baby into them. She was small and squishy and her face was all wrinkly. Babies all looked like potatoes to you. But she reached out and yawned and grabbed at your hand, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“She’s cute,” You said, letting her grip your finger.

“Yeah,” He said, grinning.

“How’s Kelly?”

“She hates my guts, but she’s okay.” Urgan reached out to take the baby, and you handed her over. “I should take Roga back. The lactation specialist wants to work with her.”

“I didn’t know there was a such thing as a lactation specialist,” You said with a laugh.

“Oh, yeah,” Urgan said. “The last nine months have been extremely informative.”

You snorted. “I bet.”

He took the baby back to Kelly and you sat in the waiting room, feeling a little awkward. Why were you here? You weren’t really family. You knew you were supporting Urgan, but… he didn’t really need you there right now. He seemed fine. Happy even, considering the circumstances. Maybe… maybe you should go. You really didn’t belong here.

You texted Urgan to let him know something had come up and to call you if you needed him, and he told you that it was okay, and to be careful going home. As you left, you sighed in relief. But you also felt a little guilty.

Six months later was graduation. You finished top of your class and made valedictorian. You knew that if Urgan had still been in school, he’d have gotten that honor, but…

Urgan didn’t come to graduation, and you understood why. Kelly crossed the stage and accepted her diploma, and you couldn’t help feel a little resentful at her, despite the fact that it wasn’t her fault that Urgan wasn’t there, either. They really had done everything they were supposed to do--used protection, used birth control, was careful--but things just happen sometimes. Even still, it felt like Urgan was the one who had sacrificed the most and had gotten nothing in return.

You managed to get a job at an accounting firm almost immediately after graduation. It was a boring job but the money was good. You were hoping it would be a stepping stone to a better career later.

Since getting the job, you hadn’t really seen or spoken to Urgan much. You were still his best friend, but… you had your own life to live. You felt guilty about it, but your world couldn’t stop just because his had.

Urgan was still working at the fish processing plant, working long hours to support Roga. Urgan was basically paying Kelly’s rent and bills plus everything Roga needed for both homes, since he took her on the weekends from Friday night to Monday morning, when he dropped her off on the way to work.

However, a month after graduation, Urgan called you in a panic.

“Kelly’s gone,” He said. “She’s left. I got a text from her saying she’s gone to Canada.”

“What?” You asked in disbelief. “Did she take Roga?”

“No, I’ve got her here.” He said, his voice shaking. “When she texted me, I was scared she had run off with the baby, but she left Roga with her stepdad. I just picked her up and I’m bringing her back home with me.”

You felt terrible for hoping Kelly had taken Roga with her to Canada. Even though you knew it wasn’t Roga’s fault, all you wanted was for Urgan’s life to go back to normal. You just wanted him to have the things he should have had if Roga hadn’t been born. And you hated yourself for thinking that.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” He said. He sounded extremely distressed. “Can you meet me at my apartment, please? I need someone to talk to. You’re all I have left.”

“Yeah, of course, I’ll be right there,” You said, picking up your keys.

“Thank you,” He said, and then hung up. He was audibly crying.

You made it to Urgan’s apartment before he did, and you saw him step out of the elevator carrying a ton of baby stuff in one arm and hauling Roga in her carseat in the other.

“Can you take her, please?” Urgan said. He looked pale and in shock.

“Yeah, of course,” You said, taking her carrier and looking inside. She was sleeping with a stuffed griffon clutched in her baby hands. “Is she okay?”

“I think so,” He said, unlocking his door. His apartment was strewn with kid stuff. It was so much different than the last time you’d seen it.

“I’m sorry about the mess,” He said, dropping the load he was carrying in the middle of the floor.

“Dude, I don’t care about the mess, are you okay?” You asked.

“I…” He ran his fingers through his hair. He was visibly shaking. “I don’t know if I can do this alone. I had accepted being a dad, but I don’t know if I can be… the only parent. I… I don’t know any babysitters for when I’m working. I don’t… is she off breastmilk? When was her last check up? When is she supposed to see the doctor again? Kelly didn’t tell me those things because I.. I figured she had it handled. I was making sure they had everything they needed. I didn’t think I’d…”

“Okay, calm down,” You said. “Roga is fine. You can find all of that stuff out. I’ll help, I’ll help however I can, okay?”

“Okay,” He said, sitting on his couch heavily. “Okay.” He reached down into her carseat and unstrapped her, putting her against his shoulder, clutching her as if she was a warm stone and he was freezing. He was certainly shaking like he was.

This was the first time you’d seen Roga since she was born. Now that she’d had a chance to grow, she did look a lot like Urgan. It made you feel worse for resenting her.

“Look, can you watch her for a few minutes?” He asked suddenly. “I’m almost out of formula and I didn’t expect to have her right now. I was going to go Thursday to stock up. I don’t want to run out.”

“I…” You hesitated.

“Please,” He begged quietly. “Please. Ten minutes. I promise.”

You sighed. “Okay.”

He transferred Roga from his shoulder to yours. Uncertainly, you gripped her firmly.

“I’ll be right back, I promise,” Urgan said, and he was out the door.

There was a rocking bassinet near Urgan’s bed behind the divider, and you settled Roga in it, staring down at her peacefully sleeping form.

“I wish I didn’t hate you,” You told her, tears welling up in your eyes and falling down your cheeks. “But you took everything from him. I know it’s not your fault, but it doesn’t change anything. He’ll never be the man he should have been because of you.”

Roga sighed in her sleep and snugged into her bed without waking. You did nothing but sit on Urgan’s bed and stare at her the entire time Urgan was gone, allowing yourself to hate her and Kelly and the team at school and everyone who turned their back on Urgan when he needed them the most. When Urgan returned, your tears had dried, and you left.

Roga was still sleeping.

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My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Monster Boyfriend #Orc #MLM #Male Reader #Reader Insert #Children #Babies #Pregnancy

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aeondeug · 3 years

Text

So while I was reading GtN and HtN I occasionally stopped to be like “Wow, it’s great how these can be just so gay!” And like. That is really great. Super great. I love that about them. But I also remember at least once stopping and going “Wow, it’s great that there’s no homophobia here!” And like at the time I just kind of nodded along to myself. Around when I just finished GtN, I remember being very fond of the bit after the book with like the guy explaining like. The deal with necro/cav relationships in The Media and throughout history and how actually none of these things have ever been romance. This is just a pure relationship, unaffected by naughty things like ROMANCE. WHY DOES EVERYTHING NEED TO BE ROMANCE?! shouts the author of this paper. And I laughed at this. Because it reminded me a lot of people who do this shit with queer love. They do it with history and just go “Why does Sappho have to be gay, why can’t she just have passionate feelings for her BFFs”. Which is mindbogglingly stupid to me and anyone who has so much as LOOKED at some of the poem fragments. But like people do say that shit. And they do this a lot over like queer anything in fiction unless it like punches you in the face with rainbows immediately. “Why do Bubblegum and Marceline have to be gay? They’re just friends!” is a take that I legitimately saw on the day of the finale. And not just once. I saw it a few times. And I’ve seen that happen over so many ships in so many things, whether or not the ships end up canon. “Why does it have to be gay?” and the specific sort of outrage over it I’ve seen in essay length posts is just common, and that sort of outrage reads very similar to the argument that dude made about necro/cav relationships. It reads like that and close enough so that I made a joke about it even. I didn’t think too, too much on this at first though because I mean. We have Abigail and Magnus. They’re right there. A man and a woman, a husband and a wife. So like I was able to simultaneously go “omg it’s just like those why can’t they just be friends WHY DOES IT NEED TO BE GAY people” and also “wow it’s nice that there are spooky negative queer experiences of SADNESS here”. Which has got me thinking. Ok. So we have that essay. Now what else do we have in the books? I suppose could point at the entirety of Gideon and Harrow’s just furious refusal to admit that they might actually be in love with one another. Even though it appears to be obvious to literally everyone else in the galaxy. And is obvious to the readers. Hell, Gideon even has a moment of feeling like she needs to tell Harrow something the day before she dies. Something which is heavily romance coded, I don’t know the word for it. But like a “Wow I feel a need to tell them something and it’ll be my last shot” before a death just kind of always reads “It was an ‘I love you’. They needed to say it and didn’t get a chance”. So we’ve got that and, specifically, we’ve got their outrage at the suggestions. Gideon stresses that she’s JUST Harrow’s cav. And she’s very fucking insistent on that. Part of the why is that she knows Harrow is in love with a fucking dead girl in a casket but like. It just hits a certain way. There’s also Harrow’s just repeated disgust she expresses towards the concept of necro/cav relationships. She needs to explain away to herself that like, well, Abigail and Magnus were ALREADY married before he was named her cavalier primary so maybe that makes it fine. And even then she’s not like super duper comfy with the idea. A taboo has been broken, Harrow feels, and she needs to get really rules lawery to find any comfort with that. Other small things that feel of note to me here are the nature of the ways we know that these two are gay outside of like. Their weird thing for one another. With Gideon we’re introduced to it basically immediately with her joke about titty mags. Harrow specifically makes a comment at some point that some of the magazines Gideon gets are very gross, yes. Her interest in women is explicitly made sexual from the get go, and the idea that The Gays are just weird sex fiends and there is no love there is a frequent one. With Harrow meanwhile we know because she says she’s in love with the girl in the Locked Tomb. Who is very much dead. A thing that is fucky enough that like there is an entire song and dance about “GIDEON THE FIRST IS MAKING OUT WITH A CORPSE??????” and how Harrow is a hypocrite for being so offended by that all. Also the girl is behind the door. She is something that isn’t supposed to be seen or known about or, heaven forbid, woken up. That is all the ultimate taboo and Harrow not only fucking broke that but she looked at the girl and went “Wow I’m in love” on the spot. So we have this collection of things that could be read as some sort of metaphor for like...The taboo nature of queer love. “Why can’t they just be friends?” and issues of purity and the lack thereof. And we have characters who are very clearly in love but who can’t just admit that because they think there’s something fucking wrong with that. Gideon’s JUST her cav and Harrow is also in love with a dead chick. We also have Magnus and Abigail around who are just like. Happily married and fine with things regarding their whole necro/cav aesthetic. Ianthe doesn’t seem to give a shit that Gideon’s into Harrow at all. There’s a fondness for necro/cav relationships enough that there’s an entire romance genre centered on them and like characters in the cast are fond of those, some of them. Things appear to be Fine, at least as far as their friends are concerned. Maybe the asshole writing the essay that kicked this pondering off would have an issue and a stuffy old grandma would pitch a fit. But like their friends don’t have a problem with necro/cav shit. But we still very much have Gideon and Harrow being “Well no. We’re just a necromancer and their cavalier. GOD.” Now part of what got me thinking about this is that I recently decided to start watching Bly Manor. Because fuck it we haven’t yet. And specifically part of why is I remember seeing an analysis of it done by Rowan Ellis which had this bit where like the argument that “Bly Manor proves you can do queer stories without homophobia being a part of it!” is brought up and like...Ellis is like “Ok but we very much do just lock a queer woman in a literal closet while she screams to be let out”. And lo and behold in the first episode we very much do just lock a queer woman in a literal closet while she screams to be let out. In an episode showing that she’s like just unable to go back home for...some reason. And that she has some sort of difficulty with her relationship with her mother. No, the show is not having the character literally go “Wow I sure am in the closet and I kind of fucking hate that woe is me I am so gay”. But figuratively? It’s all over the place in that first episode. I’m not sure about the others because I haven’t watched them, but it is there in the very first one. And that’s something horror does very well. It takes things that are scary and uncomfortable and bundles them up in shades of metaphor. It hides them from you by showing you the thing cleverly disguised. Maybe you do not notice it the first time through perhaps. Maybe you felt that a certain thing like the closet scene resonated very hard with you and you’re not sure why. But you perhaps don’t consciously go “Aha! It is the horror of being closeted!” Upon looking back on it or back through it though you might notice it. And be like “Oh that was there. Holy fuck.” Now maybe you’re also someone who isn’t like. Comfortable. With straightforward depictions of specifically queer suffering. Maybe it’s just too scary. But with this show hiding it in a metaphor you got to sit through that. You got to be brave enough to sit through a very, very scary thing. And afterwords you go to think about it. This is the power of metaphor and it’s something horror has been very, very good at doing for ages. Maybe racism or homophobia or whatever else is too nerve wracking for you to look at face on in media, but maybe you can watch a movie or a show where the horror of those things are very much there but cloaked in metaphor. And so maybe we are getting that with Gideon and Harrow’s weird issues around how “taboo” their feelings are. Two people who are just unwilling to believe that it might be that thing, in part because that thing is “taboo”. Except instead of the taboo being literally “They’re lesbians, Harold,” it’s instead cloaked in a comforting metaphor of necro/cav relationships and some dude who is really fucking offended at people’s space ao3 fanfictions about his historical favs. Which is important because every fucking scrap of anything one gets is an argument. It can’t just be that they’re in love. It’s that you must PROVE it and some asshole with a degree or just a bone to pick is going to come by and be like “WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE A NECRO AND A CAV” about it all. And like I’m someone who’s known they’re into other women for a long while now. At least half my life. We have conquered that hurdle. But we haven’t entirely unpacked all the weird little societal bullshit that is still in there. Hiding. Lurking. And that societal bullshit specifically frames that sort of love as something gross and taboo and “Why Can’t They Just Be Friends?”. With that last thing hurting a lot. I’ve constantly run across people going “Why can’t they just be friends?” or going “They just have a sisterly relationship!” about things I shipped. Even when those things involved shit like the characters kissing on screen or mentioning that they’ve been dating in a sequel series. I can’t simply like my ships. I can’t simply see myself in romance. Because my sort of love is so taboo that it is, in itself, a debate. Maybe being shown the thing cleverly disguised as another thing might help me unpack that. At the very least it helps me look at it. When it’s something that hurts a lot to this day.

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #spoilers #this is a bit painfully long #but i have FEELINGS about uncomfortable things being hidden in metaphor #and that metaphor being the thing that helps you be brave enough to look at it

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blarrghe · 2 years

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I wonder how The Iron Bull would act with a demisexual lover?

I wonder why you're asking me? Haha I haven't really written any Iron Bull ships (well, I have, but it's not published yet... 👀) but I guess I like to think I have a pretty good grasp on the character and I guess I write a demisexual character too (Taren probably does not know that word and if he does he doesn't care enough to pare his sexuality down like that but if you asked me to pin him down he's like a demisexual panromantic gay gnc man?) so ok, I can crack my character meta knuckles over this one: I think it would be fine. I think there would necessarily be a different, probably very confusing and pining-filled slow burn about it, because Bull is so often a sex-first kind of dude, but if the characters are spending a lot of time together I can absolutely see feelings forming on both ends over time and then a mutual decision to have some sex about it being made. I could see Bull taking an obscenely long time to figure out that a) someone has feelings for him and b) he has feelings back, if there are romantic things happening but not sex. I do not think being treated with romantic intentions and kindness but not with outright lust is going to be something he is familiar with or has any idea how to reciprocate, and if I was writing it I'd write a bunch of angsty ups and downs where Bull makes a bunch of come-ons in his way and makes things worse and then feels really confused about why the rejection bothers him so much. I think the demisexual lover in question would need to have a pretty good understanding of themselves to be able to see through that confusion and be clear about their wants and needs. I doubt it would be Bull's FIRST encounter with the concept of demisexuality but I do think he would take a minute to "get it" if the romantic interest is directed at HIM. Maybe they have one of those "so hypothetically if you liked someone but you were worried their libido outdid yours by a mile what would you say to them" and Bull would go "ha ha that would never happen my libido is the king of all libidos everywhere forever" and then there would be some telltale eye contact and because he IS good at body language and face reading he'd eventually figure it out. I think once they start fucking it would be hot as hell and great because, hey, Bull is a super duper considerate partner.

I think that about covers it?

#ask me things!#the iron bull #character meta #demisexuality

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girlgrouptrash101 · 4 years

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Dating Poly!YenYul/YulYen

Request: “Please, could you do a Dating Poly!Yenyul please (Izone). Love your blog! ❤”

A/N: sorry for the lil break I took guys, my teachers keep giving more n more assignments smh

- C

CEO’s of the babie committee

After meeting these two girls and falling so hard for them your life truly changed for the better an there is never a dull moment when you’re with your girls

You best believe you three have the funnest and most crackhead groupchat ever

your sleepovers are always the best too like the shit y’all get up to i swear to gOD-

you three would be sitting there taking an ‘am I gay quiz’ as if you aren’t all girlfriends like stfuuu

yuri refuses to admit it but she’s definitely the clingiest out of the three of you uwu

Cuddle piles are a go-to for you guys, nothing is softer than bein all snuggly w/ YulYen

Yena usually goes in the middle so she can have you and Yuri tucked into her side and kiss either of you when she feels like it hehe

speaking of Yena, she’s lit rally the biggest flirt on the planet,, she flirts with you btoh 24/7 even though she’s already got you both whipped for her

all three of you have the perfect balance of flirting and roasting each other just to keep you on your toes lmao

followed by yena getting fake offended when you and Yuri make fun of her duck lips just so you two will give her kisses as an apology hehe

Literally what even is the concept of wearing your own clothes when all three of you could just shAre ya know?

Plus seeing them all soft n squishy in your clothes just gives you so many butterflies hehe

When the three of you go on dates to restaurants you order SO much food and stuff your faces just because why the hell not

even though you still end up taking half of it home to eat the next day,, knowing you three it will definitely get eaten

Those nights where you decide to do each others makeup for fun and you all end up looking like clowns jdjdsj

Yuri also loves doing yours and Yena's hair, trying all different hairstyles; for some reason it just calms her down so much

BROOO imagine being sung lullabies by these two heavenly voices omf 🥺

Yuri will actually sing for you whenever you ask, she loves the fact that you appreciate her voice and her love for music

Yena using English pet names like baby, baby girl, etc... she just makes your heart flutter so much like how can one person be so CUTE

Dates can be anything from board game nights, candle lit dinners, shopping, or even an afternoon spent colouring in a colouring book together

(queue Yuri getting triggered every time Yena's crayons go outside the lines fjdjjd)

none of you could care less what the activity is as long as you're all together :)

when one of you can't sleep you all go out for late night walks to the local convenience store

where you all stock up on ice cream to eat and head back to your apartment for a midnight snack and a movie, and eventually all of you get tired enough to sleep :')

heart eyes @ each other 24/7

When you’re all just laying in bed and one of you (usually Yuri) whispers out a sleepy ‘I love you’ that just has the rest of you MELTING n pulling each other in for sleepy cuddles uwu

forehead kisses, cheek kisses, hand kisses, just super duper soft behaviour

Unless you’re around the rest of iz*one,, then you three pretend to nOt be whipped for each other

even though their members already know how in love you guys are like you literally could not be worse at hiding it hdfbd

probably own matching clothes,,, and wear them out claiming it was an ’accident’ that you all dressed the same

matching bracelets / rings too :D

Arcade dates where you all get so competitive trying to beat each other at all the games, especially when you three go full send when you’re playing Dance Dance Revolution lol

Yena trying to win you and Yuri teddies from the claw machines but just getting triggered and slamming the machine every time she loses fvhfjf

impromptu dance offs when you’re at home are also very common,, which mainly consist of Yuri screaming the lyrics while you and Yena slip around on the tiles in your socks

Coming to visit them at schedules omg!!! it makes them sosososo happy that you support them:’)

You guys go to haunted houses every halloween, which generally is just Yuri screaming for an hour while Yena tries to act like a bad bitch even though she’s just as scared

the crackhead dynamic is just >>>>>>>

The ‘no, I love YOU guys more’ competition that never ends because you all are absolutely smitten for each other

10/10 girlfriends, best friends, soulmates,,, YenYul best girls wbk

NSFW From Here:

so so so soft for sure

you were all each other’s firsts, and you all waited until you wer ready to share the special moment together

lowkey all of you are still a lil shy about the whole thing,,, except for Yena who is just so blunt and has you and Yuri blushing like crazy

lowkey doe just let Yuri ride your thigh and she’ll be a happy lil baby

absolutely shower them both in kisses from head to toe,,, and if you do want to leave a mark just make sure it’s not too visible, because you know,,, idol life

Yuri is definitely the most shy until you start to pleasure her, then she gets too caught up in it to even realise how loud she’s being

Yena has the most dirty mind for sure, always teasing you both and she’s usually the one to initiate things

That one time where Yena accidentally sent her nudes into the group chat and before she could even realise what she'd done you two were sending them back

best mistake she's ever made in her life smh

Yuri’s praise kink >>>>>> just call her baby girl and she’ll be soaking wet

Yena always begs for quickies backstage, she claims it calms her nerves before performances but she just wants to fuck let’s be real

Yena would definitely be into choking but not even realise it until she’s got her hand wrapped around your throat, loving how it turns you on even more

one time when the girls were both preparing for a performance, they came to you backstage with the most mischievous looks on their faces, Yuri quickly handing you something before both of them giggled and ran off to perform

You opened your hand to see a pair of Yuri’s underwear, soaked from whatever her and Yena had got up to before you arrived

they knew you were going crazy backstage as you watched them perform, their cheeky smiles just stretched a little wider than usual as they moved to the music

let’s just say,,,, you didn’t let either of them off easy that night

Aftercare usually consists of even more cuddles n kisses

or hopping into the shower together,,, which usually ends up in you three going for another round smh

followed by the softest cuddles in bed, all of you spent and exhausted after your long night

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thatholoperson · 4 years

Text

Ugh. I promised myself yesterday I wouldn’t get involved in that SPN discourse, but after that thousand anti-SPN post (which focused entirely on the wrong thing imo), it’s gonna bother me if I don’t.

So. Let’s do this. (You: Great, an other rant about SPN...)

First, about Dean. I mean... Yeah, I disagree with roughly 50% of what that guy does at any given moment. He has anger issues, drinking issues, his father was definitely violent, he talks before he thinks and is a wreck. He is emotionally stunted and never learned how to express his emotions in an healthy way.

But being, well, emotionally stunted myself (I can only express myself here, because i have time to think about it and you know nothing about me), I can tell you that his reaction is pretty much how I would have reacted. (You: Wow, you’re a dick)

I mean, What did you seriously expect of the guy? (You: for Dean to fall on his knees sobbing and saying he loves him back?). He doesn’t say anything because he is still processing what happened. Because that guy may never have fathom the idea of his best friend being in love with him (let’s not forget about the “emotionally stunted” part).

(You: Come on, everyone told him). You’re right, my amazing friend I made up in my mind ! Everyone does tell him “He likes you” “The one with the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you” “He was your boyfriend first”. Yes, everyone did tell him ! But first, it was about feelings, and he is not exactly emotionally intelligent. And second. The people who tell him that are either villains or antagonist characters ! He doesn’t trust anyone, how could he have trusted them?? It would have been different if Charlie or Sam would have been like “Dude, we need to talk about Castiel”. They didn’t (obviously) and Dean’s reaction is a “WTF is happening?” If they had time to talk about it and process it, it would have been different (we’ll see how Dean reacts in the next eps.)

(BTW, Death Bed confession is a dick move, Cas. And on that subject, two slightly smaller things that bothered me. I read the script of the thing (between two “Putin resigned because of Destiel” posts) and Cas doesn’t need him to say anything or something like that? Are you guys messing with me right now? No matter how much one can say that it doesn’t matter, that it’s “without hope or agenda” (also a dick move, Rick Grimes !!), there’s always gonna be a small part of that person who wants to hear it back, so f...[explicit content that i’m gonna write]... off. That maybe what stings with the whole thing “Hey, he poured his heart out to you, but don’t worry, he doesn’t need you to say anything, you’re safe and you can stay straight (You: You’re overreacting, stay on course, you assbutt). Ok, other thing, if it’s the end of Castiel, it sucks and whether or not he was right when he said that he knows he can’t have Dean, it... stings and sucks.)

Second, the message of the whole thing. And yeah, I kinda have to agree there. Killing a fan-favorite character (wait, any character), mere seconds after he expressed romantic feelings towards another man is... problematic, to say the least. Making him go to the “special hell”? Yeah, I know, the situation is a lot more nuanced than that (You: Yeah, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, I miss that show!), but stripped to its bare essentials, it’s “And don’t forget, kids, express your feelings towards someone of your own gender will send you straight to hell !!”

Now I know that most people watching SPN kinda grew up with the whole thing and know they are not exactly good with representation and queer characters. I think it barely phased some of them and I hope... I hope everyone is doing okay right now.

(You: OK... Where do we go from here?)

Well, I’m glad you asked, my petulant friend ! There is a way they can salvage this thing, but so far, I only see one way.

Dean has to save Cas from that super-duper-mega Hell. He can’t save himself or be saved by the power of the plot. Dean has to actively completely (fine, the others can help) save him. And it can’t be “You’re family, man” with a manly grabbing of the shoulder. It has to be explicitly canonically exclusively because Dean has romantic feelings for Cas. It can’t be “Oh, he doesn’t need to say it or express it”, nope, no more of that BS. It needs saying. It needs to make homophobes tremble and bow before the power of MLM love.

Gay love put Castiel in Hell, gay love better save him from it.

And if that doesn’t happen... Well, I’ll borrow my siblings’ pitchforks from their last expedition in GOT land, you’ll bring chips and we’ll have a party. (You: Yeah, that does sound like a plan!)

#supernatural #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #spn

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takerfoxx · 4 years

Text

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 5, Episode 6, “Taking Control,” First Impressions!

OKAY! OKAY! WHAT THE FUCK?!

DID NOELLE WRITE THIS SEASON FOR ME SPECIFICALLY? LIKE, DID SHE GO, “HEY, I LIKE THAT TAKERFOXX DUDE, I THINK I’LL WRITE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING SEASON TO APPEAL TO HIM IN SPECIFIC!”

=breathes out=

Wow.

Um, guys. I don’t know where to start. Usually I’d have one thing I’d like to gush about so I’d go ahead and comment on everything else first, but this time I want to gush about EVERYTHING!

Okay, fine. Let’s go in order.

Catra, so far, is being handled brilliantly. Like, even after having her life collapse all around her, despite having her soul crushed and being forcibly brainwashed, despite EVERYTHING, once she was safe she starts acting out again, because that kind of toxic behavior is literally all she knows. She’s so used to responding to her heavy feelings of guilt by doubling and tripling down that even those she’s hurt are trying to help her, she can’t help but lash out at them. She feels so bad about everything she did to all of them that she can’t bear to face them. I love that one line Glimmer had: “This is Catra we’re talking about. Did you think she was instantly going to be a totally different person?” It shows that Catra still has so much work to do to better herself, and it’s not going to be easy, nor should it be easy.

But damn it, she’s trying! She’s hurt and broken and scared and losing her mind, but she’s trying, even going so far as to use her link to the Horde Hivemind to try to see Horde Prime’s plans (more on that later), even if it did take Adora threatening to leave her for her to come to her senses, because after everything, she finally has Adora at her side, and she realizes how much it would destroy her to push Adora away again. Oh man, I so wanted to give her a great big hug, even if it’s a good thing I can’t because she’d claw me to pieces out of spite. This has revived the River Tam woobie feelings again. It’s been so long.

I really liked her and Entrapta’s little moment too, and I don’t have a problem with how easily Entrapta forgave her. Firstly, it’s Entrapta, and she’s just like that. Secondly, Entrapta needed to be forgiven pretty recently too, so they’re both coming along.

And that little moment at the end...awwww. Like, okay, at first it was a little weird that Bow was so welcoming to Catra after being so cold to Glimmer. But then I realized that he had more reason to be disappointed with Glimmer because he expected more from her, and he’s always been quick to reach out to defecting enemy soldiers.

And can I saw that Wrong Hordak is adorable and I love him? He’s been around for two episode but if anything happened to him, I’d kill everyone in the room and then myself.

Well, maybe not myself, but I’d feel really bad.

So! Saved the B-Plot for last because it had the last scene.

Poor Micah. He’s just trying so hard to reconnect with his old life, but everything has passed him by. Glimmer’s coming back, and how is he even going to be able to connect with her? She was a little girl when he last saw her, and he can’t even relate to the actual little girl that they have around, and Frosta probably wasn’t even born when he was exiled! At the very least she was probably still a toddler.

Also, anyone getting some real Cirno vibes from Frosta? Anyone?

I am happy to see Netossa and Spinnerella, and like that they’re looking after Frosta. And what’s this? A same sex couple casually kissing in a children’s show? GASP! Those horrible gays and their gay agendas with their openly having healthy relationships and looking after kids and helping support a worried single father! The SIN!

Man, they just give no fucks this season, do they? It’s like they saved up all there “might get us in trouble with the censors” points and cashed them in all at once.

This is further shown during their rescue mission to...I forgot how to spell it, but the place where they first met Double Trouble (and where the hell are they?)(It’s Elberon! That was some risky Googling). Of course Swift Wind wants a party, because that went so well last time. But anyway, I figured out that the whole town had been taken by Horde Prime pretty quickly, but that didn’t stop the “party” scene from being incredibly unsettling. Like, are they tried to have a major creep-out scene every episode now?

Not complaining.

But you know how this song and dance goes. Trap, Horde Prime does his thing, and everyone is surrounded. Micah and Frosta finally connect on the battlefield, and...things get WAY creepier when the enslaved townsfolk try to break into the ice sphere! Though why did they go for a shield instead of an exit? You have Spinnerella right...oh, right.

Fortunately, at that exact moment, Adora finally gets super-pissed enough when the Horde that she figures out how to tap into She-Ra and make it stick! And oooooh my God, that first sword? Turns out, it was holding her back, like some kind of stabby power inhibitor, because She-Ra fucking went Super Saiyan! She straight up whooped that Horde squadron’s ass and looked magnificent doing it! And don’t @ me about her being overpowered or some other bullshit, this is totally earned and it felt SO satisfying!

You know, I figured out part of this show’s brilliance. Spend four seasons making both the good and the bad guys varying levels of complex and sympathetic like most good kid shows do while building up a super-duper bad guy, have him show up in the last season, then put EVERYONE all on the same team, and that way we don’t have any trouble rooting for the good guys!

Except Shadow Weaver. Please don’t redeem her.

BUT ANYWAY, Adora going all Captain Marvel did the trick of not only saving them and their ship (and really turning Catra on, my God), but also giving Swift Wind enough of a power up to let the B-Players escape. And...well...

I guess we now know why Netossa was crying in the trailer.

Fuck.

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remusownsmyuwus · 4 years

Text

Back in Baltimore

Warnings: Implied abuse, cursing, drugs/drug mentions, the foster care system, violence (some doodles Remus made), death mentions.

Prompt by @lance-alt

They were barely three. They'd been called in for a special day, so they packed their garbage bags (no one ever donated suitcases, and it wasn't like anyone would give them anything not required by law) early in the morning and ate a rushed, stale breakfast. The woman whose foster home it was crammed them in her van with the other six kids staying with her. There wasn't enough room and since they were the youngest, Remus sat in Roman's lap, looking out the window and bouncing his leg.

They got out at a nice park and the woman explained that today was a day where all the foster kids were going to be here to meet with "possible candidates" and maybe find new moms and dads. Remus picked at the grass, his fingers not yet precise enough to tie the blades into knots. Roman sat next to him, listening attentively until the woman clapped her hands twice.

Roman jumped up, beckoning to Remus. Remus followed, chasing Roman around the yard, his stubby legs propelling him forward.

Roman's foot caught in a hole in the grass in front of two men who were looking around at the kids playing in the park. He fell catastrophically, tumbling over himself and hitting against one of the men's legs.

"Well hello there!" The man said to Roman, ignoring Remus who had run up behind his brother, checking to see if he was hurt.

The man reached down, helping Roman to his feet. "I'm Corbin," he said, and then gestured to the man next to him. "This is Sloan, my husband."

"I'm Roman!" Roman said. Remus stood behind him. He wanted to speak, introduce himself, but... Roman looked so happy. And Remus suddenly felt very uncomfortable. This wasn't his place, not at all. Maybe.... Maybe these were Roman's new dads, and maybe.... Maybe Remus would find new parents somewhere else.

He walked away, sniffling. He didn't want to cry in front of Roman, then Roman would try to cheer him up. And that would be... That would be... A bad way to say goodbye.

★★★★★★★

"Fucking hell. I fucking hate Baltimore." Remus slung the garbage bag over his shoulder. He'd been kicked out of another foster home (this time for selling drugs, which sucked, because not only was he caught, but he had also been here a good few months and actually had a few regular clients.) And now he was going back to Baltimore. Home-sweet-fucking-home, Baltimore. There hadn't been any open houses in the area so booting his scrawny seventeen year old ass over a state and into his least favorite city was obviously the best thing to do.

He'd start at his new school tomorrow. He stepped down, thanking the bus driver, and relished the silence walking to his new temporary home. As he walked up the short pathway to the door, he heard yelling inside. Good to set your expectations right early, right?

He knocked on the door, rather loudly, and the yelling stopped.

"Oh, hello, uh...." Said a wiry woman who came to the door.

"Remus. Your new.... Kid," he supplied. He adjusted the garbage bag on his shoulder, hearing some of his few prized possessions clink together at the bottom of the bag.

"Right, right, come on in. You'll be sharing a room with Virgil, since you and him are about the same age." The woman beckoned him in, showing him up the stairs and into a room that was papered with band posters.

"'Sup," said a emo boy sitting in one of the three beds in the room. "I'm Virgil, but you can call me Virge. I guess we're roomies now?"

"That's basically the deal, yeah. I'm Remus." Remus walked to one of the beds and set his garbage bag down gently on it.

"Weird name."

"Says the guy named after a Roman poet who wrote about bees and flowers," Remus looked over his shoulder, watching the boy of maybe fifteen or sixteen crack a smile.

"Touché."

"What grade are you in? And do you go to the local public highschool? Because I'll need a tour guide tomorrow." Remus started to pull things out of his trash bag ""suitcase"" and organizing them.

"Tenth, and yeah. I'll take you around." Virgil hummed along to the song playing in his headphones.

"Fucking Baltimore."

★★★★★★★

A substitute teacher for his first class on his first day of a new school. Fucking spectacular.

"Hello class, I'm Ms. Mason. I'll be your substitute for today. First off, roll call." The teacher, about 30, with short brown hair, bent down and retrieved a clipboard, brushing some hair out of her face, and started to read names.

"Duke, Remus?" She said, after a few names.

"Here." He'd been garnering looks since he came in, because having a new student is fun and exciting for everyone else.

The teacher nodded, moving on down the list. Remus ears pricked. "Prince, Roman?" Remus looked around, somewhat frantically.

"Here," Said a boy with light brown hair, a few rows in front of Remus.

Remus craned his neck, trying desperately to get a look at Roman's face. It was super duper unlikely, but there's only so many "Roman"s in Baltimore. Remus thought about the name. If he really was.... Remus couldn't even think it.... If he really was him, then when he'd gotten adopted he'd changed his name... He'd upgraded, from a Duke to a Prince.

Ms. Mason finished calling roll, setting down the clipboard and picking up a thick stack of papers. "This is your worksheet for today, it's due at the end of the period." She maneuvered around the teacher's desk, handing out papers. Remus took one distractedly, still watching the back of Roman's head.

He didn't dare to hope, and yet here he was, hoping, desperately. Desperately, that this was his Roman. His brother.

He spent the rest of the class nervously fidgeting with his paper, doodling people's heads being cut off and swords being shoved through people's guts. When the bell rang he had already stuffed the paper in his bag, and he made his way toward Roman. What if he was wrong? He couldn't be. But what if he was?

"Do you need anything?" A voice said with a thick New York accent, and Remus met the eyes of a tall, thin boy wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses.

"Your number?" Remus cocked his eyebrow. If the boy was straight he'd be scared off and if he was gay... Well, Remus wouldn't mind.

The boy leaned down a bit, hugging Remus around the neck. "Type this into your phone," he whispered, starting to say his phone number after Remus had opened his contacts app. "And, the name is Remy, by the way. Toodles, babes."

Remus grinned, typing in the name and putting his phone in his pocket. He looked up, only to see the last of his classmates filtering out, and no Roman in sight. Fuck.

★★★★★★★

His next two classes were fine. He didn't pay attention, mind too distracted by Roman and Remy...

The lunch bell rang, and Remus was already out the door of AP calculus, pulling out his phone and tapping Remy's name.

"Babes?" Came the sarcastic, New York accented voice.

"Where can I meet you for lunch? It's Remus, by the way. From first period."

"A building, the one by the West gate. I'll be at the door and we can drop by Starbucks or something."

Remus hung up, walking through campus until he found the A building and spotting a shiny pair of sunglasses. "Hey there Remy. You said something about Starbucks?"

"Hey babes! Nice to see you again," Remy slung an arm over Remus' shoulders. "And yes. Starbies."

Remus chuckled. "Which direction?"

Remy gestured with his free hand, slipping his phone in his pocket. "What brings you to Baltimore? The big b?"

"Got kicked out. Again." Remus shook his head at Remy's concerned look. "Don't worry, my birth parents are dead." Remus laughed at Remy's shocked expression. "Don't worry about it. But, any chances you know that Roman Prince guy?"

"Yeah, we've talked a few times. Talks a lot about his dads, real family loving kid. I guess." Remy blew some hair out of his face, gesturing for Remus to turn a corner.

Remus was practically holding his breath. "And his dads, do you know their names?"

"Corbin and... Sloan? Shaun?"

"Sloan." Remus pushed open the doors of the Starbucks. "That's definitely him, then. My brother. Roman Duke. Or well, these days, Roman Prince."

"Isn't that dramatic? Damn, your life is like a soap opera or some shit, babes."

"Yeah, I guess," Remus laughed. "What do you want?"

★★★★★★★

Ask if you want part 2?

#remus sanders #roman sanders #remy sanders #intrusleep #rem^2 #creativitwins #sanders sides fluff #implied abuse #violence #drugs #swearing #death mention #sloan cartoon therapy #corbin cartoon therapy #virgil sanders

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geckomoon · 4 years

Text

Yuri!!! on ice as irl skaters (part 1???)

Its 2020 and I miss yoi so here are my personal headcanons about which irl skater the you cast skate &/or act like because why the hell not.

(photos at the bottom of the post because I couldn't get the format to work the way I wanted it to)

Yuri Katsuki ➡️ Boyang Jin (China)/Evgenia Medvedeva (Russia)

Yes, 2 people because PARALLELS.

So my reason for saying Yuri is like Boyang is because, his step sequences are always gorgeous and his jumping power, oofttttt, and that one scene where Yuri tries a jump and lands in the wall, you know the one. Boyang Jin is known for jumping super close to the boards and scaring the hell out of us all, seriously, just watch one of his skates, it's amazing and terrifying. Also Boyang is a bit of a nerd and Yuri is canonicaly pretty into video games, nuff said.

Boyang is a two-time World bronze medalist (2016–2017), the 2018 Four Continents champion, a two-time Four Continents silver medalist (2016, 2019), the 2017 Asian Winter Games silver medalist, and a five-time (2014–2017, 2019) Chinese national champion.

Evgenia however, this is more of a parallel in how her 2018/19 season went and how Yuri kinda flopped. Zhenya had a crappy start to the 18/19 season, she'd just switched coaches and mover halfway across the world, for the 1st time in her senior career she didn't make the gpf. However by the end of the season she had bounced back and won bronze at worlds and my god what a skate that fp was. Remind you of anyone huh???

Evgenia has a lot of medals (and actually made a cameo in the end credits of episode 10) She is a two-time Olympic silver medalist (2018 ladies' singles, 2018 team event), a two-time world champion (2016, 2017), a two-time European champion (2016, 2017), a two-time Grand Prix Final champion (2015, 2016), a two-time Russian national champion (2016, 2017), silver medalist at the 2018 European Figure Skating Championships and bronze medalist at the 2019 World Championships. Also, she is a huge Anime fan and has a sailor moon exhibition program and its adorable.

Victor Nikiforov ➡️ Yuzuru Hanyu (Japan)

I know a lot of people compare Yuri to Yuzu but I think Victor is a better fit.

Yuzuru has a legion of super duper dedicated fans, they are pretty scary at times. If you watch the 2018 Olympics, the ice literally was covered in Pooh bears after his skate. People love this man, and rightly so. Clearly Yuri isn't the only one who loves Victor, he's very popular in the yoi skating world and almost everyone loves and looks up to him.

His skates are almost immaculate every time. Not only is his technique amazing but his artistry is what really sets him apart from other skaters who may have higher bv on jumps etc. Not that he dosent have high bv, seriously he tries combos that are super wierd just for the bv (see the wierd 4t-3a combo thing he does idk). Plus he's dead set on doing a quad axel. See Victor's super high bv with all the quads and also the fact everyone goes nuts over how his skating is 'like no other'.

Also his medal collection is absolutely mad, he is a two-time Olympic champion (2014, 2018), two-time World champion (2014, 2017), four-time Grand Prix Final champion (2013–2016), Four Continents champion (2020) and three times silver medalist (2011, 2013, 2017). Just like how Victor is canonicaly an Olympic champion and 5x world champion and probably many time euros champ.

Also, he's a sweetheart, he literally crawled behind Shoma Uno because he didn't want the attention taken away from Shoma. I love him.

Victor Nikiforov gives big Yuzuru Hanyu energy.

Yuri Plisetsky ➡️ Yulia Lipnitskaya (Russia)/Alexandra Trusova (Russia)

Again, 2 people.

It's canon that Yuri P was modeled after Yulia for the flexibility and artistic portion of his skates so I feel like I don't need to elaborate much in it however his determination and his wanting to back load with quads reminds me a lot of Sasha Trusova.

Sasha only started juniors the year after yoi came out (she had a Makkachin tissue box which was given to her by Evgenia M which is adorable) so she was not really that popular when the show was being made but she really made a statement when she became the 1st woman to land 2 quads in 1 program (4 salchow and 4 toeloop) at the age of 13 at 2018 junior worlds.

She has just started senior and this season she had 5 quads in one program and I think I cried. She now has a quad sal, toe, flip and lutz and is apparently working on a loop. On top of that she can land a 3 axel but has yet to do so in competition. Did I mention SHE'S 15 AND I'M TERRIFIED.

She currently holds the world record for the free skate (166.62 points). She is the 2020 European Bronze Medalist, the 2019 Grand Prix Final bronze medalist, the 2019 Skate Canada champion, the 2019 Rostelecom Cup champion, the 2019 CS Ondrej Nepela champion, the 2019 Russian national silver medalist, and the 2020 Russian national bronze medalist.

Her determination to win and high TES reminds me of Yurio a lot.

Phichit Chulanont ➡️ Nam Nguyen (Canada)

This one is fun.

I love Nam with all my heart, he's actually my favourite male skater and not just because of his skating. However his skating is great. He is the 2014 World Junior champion, 2019 Skate Canada silver medalist, and two-time Canadian national champion (2015, 2019). He has placed as high as fifth at the World Championships, in 2015. He's not the best skater ever, kinda like Phichit but his personality shines through so much when he skates and I love it.

My main comparison to Phichit is the fact that Nam Nguyen is a huge meme. His Instagram is one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen (@ namnamnoodle). I can't explain it with words seriously just go look at it, he makes memes using professionnally taken skating photos of himself and honestly it's just a giggle. He's almost always posting on his story and half the videos he takes end up on fan twitter and everyone freaks out.

Also he's good friends with Evgenia, thought I'd mention that seeing as who I compared her to :)).

Yeah, Phichit and Nam are memes and I adore them both.

Jean-Jacques Leroy ➡️ Nathan Chen (USA)

Jj is definitely more of a technical focused skater. He tends to put all his eggs in the '800000 quads' bucket and isn't as artistic, in my humble opinion.

Just like Nathan surprisingly, though Nate isn't as egotistical (not a dig, just an observation).

Nathan is compared to Yuzu a lot, and had actually scored higher than him a few times in competition. He is an amazing jumper and is the first skater to have landed five types of quadruple jumps in competitions: toe loop, Salchow, loop, flip and Lutz. Currently he is two-time World champion (2018, 2019), a 2018 Winter Olympic bronze medalist in the team event, the 2017 Four Continents champion, three-time Grand Prix Final champion (2017, 2018, 2019), and four-time U.S. national champion (2017, 2018, 2019, 2020).

So yeah, he's good.

However at the 2018 Olympics (he was only 18 at the time) he bombed under pressure in the team event and in the sp, only to come back with a WR free skate, but didn't medal because of his sp score,kinda like how Jj bombed at the GPF. (Ngl, I cried in school when I saw Nate bomb at the Olympics, I was so upset).

Also, Nathan is super smart and is training to be a doctor. Not related to Jj but I thought I would point it out.

Christophe Giacometti➡️ Adam Rippon (USA)/Javier Fernández (Spain)

Chris is a hard one to pin to an irl skater because he's just so... Chris.

The closest comparison I can get is Adam Rippon but dialed up to 11 because Adam is quite a bit more tame than Chris is. However he did have a point in his sp where he literally beckons the judges to him in a way that can only be described as vaguely sexual. Seeing that at the Olympics was an event I'll tell you that.

Adam was the first openly gay man to make a U.S. Winter Olympic team, and the first to win a medal at the Winter Games. (team bronze).

Plus, I'm pretty sure he owned a Chris plushie at one point or another.

However other than the obvious Chrissness, his technique and medal winning achievements most closely match up with Javier Fernández (who may I add is pretty much Yuzuru Hanyu's best friend). He is the 2018 Olympic bronze medalist, a two-time World champion (2015, 2016), a two-time World bronze medalist (2013, 2014), a seven-time European champion (2013–2019), a two-time Grand Prix Final silver medalist (2014, 2015), a three-time Rostelecom Cup champion (2014–2016), a two-time Grand Prix in France champion (2016–2017) and an eight-time Spanish national champion (2010, 2012–2018). Javi is an amazing skater but usually ended up playing 2nd fiddle to Yuzuru on the world stage, but with euros, he literally won 7 times consecutively. Anndddd, he was the flag bearer for Spain at the 2014 Olympics and I still cry about it.

Otabek Altin➡️ Denis Ten (Kazakhstan)/ Matteo Rizzo

So it's canon that Otabek was based on Denis (rip Denis) so like Yuri and Yulia I do not feel like I need to elaborate much as you can read it on the wikia page. But Otabek also reminds me of a less talkative version of Matteo Rizzo. Matteo is the 2019 European bronze medalist, 2018 NHK Trophy bronze medalist, 2019 Winter Universiade champion, and 2018 Italian national champion.

The reason he reminds me of Otabek is that they just joth exude the same level of cool and I can't explain it any further than that. That's it. Just watch him skate and you'll see.

So that's all I have for now because this post got pretty long so if this gets enough attention I'll do a part 2 :)).

#Yuri on ice #Yoi #katsuki yuri #victor nikiforov #yuri plisetsky #phichit chulanont #jean jacques leroy #christophe giacometti #otabek altin

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xxcureangelxx · 3 years

Note

5, 9, 10, 13, 20, 21, 24, 25, 28, 30-35, 38-42, 44-46, 50, 52, 54, 60-62, 66, 71-74, 86-91, 96, 100! 😊

okay I literally have no clue how old this is and if I'm even taking the questions from the right post but here goes I guess? 🙈

5. What is your favorite Color?

PURPLE

9. How tall are you?

about 1,70 meters or 5'7"

10. What shoe size are you?

size 40-41, I think that's about 8 in US sizes?

13. What talents do you have?

uhhh good question... not sure if it counts but I guess I'm quite good at a lot if things but can't do anything extraordinarily well?

20. Are you religious?

Absolutely not. Due to family history and a lot of other things I'm actually against it a lot but people can do whatever they feel like is right for them as long as they don't harm others with it.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes, quite a lot actually. practically grew up in hospitals as a baby because of kidney issues, broke both my legs with 4 years old, had to revisit for tests a lot during my childhood because of the kidney issue. it calmed down afterwards until I was back in hospital last year because of my terrible mental health and I'm currently in a rehabilitation clinic for it as well.

24. Baths or showers?

Shower's because we don't have a bathtub

25. What color socks are you wearing?

currently none, I love going barefoot, but usually I wear white, gray or black. I know... I'm a bad gay.. no rainbow socks (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

28. What type of music do you like?

you know.... I hate this question with a passion even though I love music so I'll just throw in my yt-playlist here and everyone who's interested can look through it to get a picture xD not sorted in any way and not a conclusive list at all, I just add songs as I find them

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

mostly just one at a time but I've got two different ones. one is the normal fluffy kinda pillow, the other is made of some kinda foam material and rather thin.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I'm always lying on the side! have been doing that since I was a baby too.

32. How big is your house?

compared to what? 🙈 I'd say decent size for 5 people to live in, would have space for 1-2 more if rooms were used differently but definitely not enough to comfortably live with 12 or even more people like my family used to. we've got like 3 proper sleeping rooms (one of which is the attic so not very nice in terms of heat and the staircase is smack in the middle of the room), a kitchen, a dining room, a big living room, a tiny bathroom that barely fits a toilet and shower, and the basement is a mix of storage, electrics and stuff, washing room/utility room and it's got another smaller room that's been turned back into a small workshop but used to be the room of my brother and later my grandmother.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I guess this is where it shows that I'm german but we usually just eat bread (preferably whole grain) with cheese or slices of salami or ..meat sausage? is that a proper translation? 🤨 idk... it's rather simple really. on the weekend maybe buns and boiled eggs. on the occasion that I'm too tired for it or don't have enough time I eat cereals but it's not very common when I'm at work/school

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

No, and I don't want to

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes!! I did last year when I was in the hospital and it was super fun! was quite good at it as well, even for my first try 😤

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

I think about 3 days? if we count "barely unconscious for a few hours" as sleep that is... otherwise no clue...my memory of the bad sleepless time is quite hazy lol

39. Do you have any scars?

yeah, quite a few tbh. got 2 huge ones from surgeries due to my kidney issues, well they look like 2 but it's actually multiple ones since they simply cut open party of the old ones again, tiny hooman apparently have very little skin. then I got some other ones here and there from accidents, general dumbness, etc, like when I cut through my sunday morning bun and almost cut half of the tip of my finger off because my mother sharpened the knife and didn't tell me or that time as a kid I couldn't wait for my ironing pearl pictures to be done and burned myself on the hot iron, mostly stuff like that.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I mean.. if they're a secret... how would I know? ;) not sure if it counts that it took me months to realize I had a crush on my best friend and the feelings were reciprocated and I was too blind to see the signs?

41. Are you a good liar?

Nope. People actually think I'm lying more often than I lie... so.... :/

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I'm.. honestly not sure what this one means? like, am I able to judge what kind of character a person has after barely meeting them or smth? if so, I'm terrible at it

44. Do you have a strong accent?

in german? nope. in english? hmm hard to judge since I rarely hear myself speak. I think the stuff I do know how to pronounce is mostly okay but since I learned it through reading I'm simply unsure of a lot of pronunciations. 'also'.... I can not for the life of me pronouns that word no matter how many times I hear it... it's kinda become a quirk after some classmates pointed it out to me and I'm incredibly aware how terrible I say the word but.... just can't get rid of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

45. What is your favorite accent?

I.. actually really love the way my best friend talks? 👉👈 they're french btw. just... typical me for struggling to understand them though, already terrible at it in german too...

46. What is your personality type?

honestly, I don't think I can answer that. I'm big on self loathing and everything's pretty shitty so, no thanks

50. Left or right handed?

Right handed. but does it even count id I'm bad at doing things with that hand too? lol

52. Favorite food?

hmmmm tough question... not the biggest fan of food in general a lot of the time... probably Züricher Geschnetzeltes

54. Are you a clean or a messy person?

Definitely messy. my allergies did not like this post trying to clean and tidy up more often though. my depression does not like this post either

60. Do you talk to yourself?

sometimes. quite a bit when watching movies or if I mess stuff up

61. Do you sing to yourself?

barely. got a lot of bad experiences with that so i keep my singing to a minimum. my shower is a great listener though

62. Are you a good singer?

I was in a choir for a few years when I went to 'middle school' and I had like one solo part once but other than that I can't really say because I barely ever sing in front of people

66. Do you like long or shor hair?

this question is currently my absolute nemesis.. I've got suuuper duper long hair and have had it ever since elementary school and I used to be super happy with it and sometimes I still am happy with it but other days, depending on where I'm at genderwise, I absolutely hate it and I just want to take the closest scissors and cut it all off... currently haven't had the guts to look for new hair styles though... but in other people? or women more specifically? I love long hair 🥺

71. What makes you nervous?

Or the shorter question: what doesn't make me nervous... I'd say pretty much everything has got the potential to make me nervous. I'm an overthinker, anxiety is a big thing for me and ptsd makes me scared of almost everything. so.. yeah... sucks to be me sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Yes, very

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

I try not to but sadly I sometimes do, even if it's not my place to. I really don't like that part and hope I'll be able to learn not to sometime

74. Are you ticklish?

Yes and I hate it 😭

86. What are you allergic to?

again, easier question: what am I not allergic to... it's... a lot... like, really a lot. with the test on the skin of my arm I reacted to every single substance and the more thorough blood test lead to much of the same result. the absolute worst are birch trees (pitty, love those), then the usual pollen of pretty much every tree or flower, all animals with fur or feathers, dust and... yeah list goes on and on, you get the picture... :/

87. Do you keep a journal?

no.. have tried to multiple times in the past but never made it more than a week... too depressing to write and read... the therapist at the rehab clinic is currently forcing me to try a positivity diary for the millionths time, can't even get that done each day even though I'm doing it on my phone and get notifications to do it each evening...

88. What do your parents do?

making my life hell lol.. okay on a serious note, my father was a car electrician, he's retired by now, my mother is a housewife, she used to work different jobs before her first kid, later on she took care of my grandmother who was suffering from dementia, got some money and retirement points for that too.

89. Do you like your age?

I-... I don't know? it's weird because I both feel a lot younger and a lot older than I am rn....

90. What makes you angry?

another tough question... I actually have anger issues in that way that I'm barely capable of feeling anger... used to be worse but I already worked a lot on it in therapy so there's at least some there now... in the past I simply started to cry and felt overwhelmed by sadness whenever I was supposed to feel anger... so I can't tell very well what makes me angry because I first have to realize that I'm feeling anger or more like should be feeling it....

91. Do you like your own name?

Not really, no, but I guess I finally figured out some reasons why.. I've recently started going by a bit of a different name too but only my closest friends know so far and I'm not sure if I'll be using it irl at all..

96. How did you get your name?

I'm still trying to get my mother to admit that she named me after this song but she keeps denying it.. she's a fan of this band so it would have fit.. but she keeps saying she just liked the name, no long thought process behind it..

my chosen name is a bit of a different story. an ex friend I got to know through yt gave me that nickname almost 10 years ago after I complained that you can't make a shorter nickname out of my birthname and it's also the name of s character I like, especially his voice, and... idk it just feels more gender neutral and I simply feel comfortable with it. it just fit.

100. Color of your room?

same as question 5: Purple 🥰 or... well half the walls are purple, the other half is white

phew... can't believe I made it through all of these....

in case people haven't noticed yet, I'm currently kinda getting back into tumblr? I think I've already stayed a lot longer than any times I tried getting back before. it mostly started because we've got super bad wifi at the clinc I'm at rn and reddit takes up waaayy too much mobile data and... idk, I guess I just missed the vibe of tumblr

I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stick around but we'll see

#ask game #answered #I really really do not have any clue how long this has been sitting in my inbox...#the og post was somewhere around december if I saw that correctly (๑•﹏•)#oopsie...#just hope posting goes through snd my 3 hours of hard work weren't for nothing....#edit; posting worked but tumblr messed up the formating...#I'm not gonna bother fixing that because it's late and I need sleep 😭

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