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sankta-starkova · 1 month

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THE OUTSIDERS

001; start of something new

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summary: the one where daisy returns to camp from college and is blinded by her love for him, even as the world ends

wordcount: 1.8k

The winter Solstice was creeping up on Daisy Valance. She knew she had to head to camp to see her friends again and it helped that her mums new boyfriend Nick had taken her on a trip so she didn't feel so guilty.

Last summer had been her fifth at camp and she loved it like it was home to her. Because it was.

She felt safest there. Although she loved her mother and she loved going to NYU, she still loved Camp Half Blood.

She was wrapped up at in a coat, her suitcase in her hand as she looked around at the place she called home.

Daisy waved at Chiron as he walked over, or galloped, she was never quite sure how to describe it.

"Miss Desdemona," he said, bowing his head.

She chuckled, "You are the only one that calls me that Chiron," she said, walking alongside him as he walked further into camp.

She remembered coming into camp years ago and seeing it all for the first time. The feeling never went away.

"Look who the minotaur dragged in," a voice said and she turned around when she heard the voice.

She recognised him in an instance. It was her best friend in the whole world, the only person who ever truly understood her.

"Luke Castellan, charming as always," she said, dropping her suitcase down as she walked over.

He pulled her into a hug, holding her tight. The last few weeks had been hard without her.

She was his best friend and that was it. But he had always wanted more.

His dreams were getting worse and worse. He could see him standing there, taunting him, telling him that he had things that he needed to do.

He was torn between it all. He wanted to fulfill what he thought was his destiny but he wanted her as well - that's something he hadn't even managed to say to her yet.

"Good to see you again," he said, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

"You too Luke," she said, "I'm sorry I missed your wins at capture the flag,"

"It's fine, a boy doesn't wins twice in a row often," he joked, looking down at her.

"Shut up," she said, stepping away from him and hitting him on the arm, "Now, help me with my bags?"

She looked over at where her bag was to see Chiron standing there, a smile on his face.

He had been working at this camp for years and had never seen a couple quite like them. Having spent years to admit their adoration for one another.

The issue was that he had heard of Lukes fate. That something bad would happen to him even if he didnt know what it was.

He hadn't told anyone but knew that something tragic would occur. He didnt want the couple to falter because of that.

He leaned down and picked her bag up, handing it over to the boy.

They started walking, side by side. It was like they were joined at the hip and couldn't seperate.

They didn't hear the whispers of their camp mates as they walked past. Luke and Daisy were icons in camp so to see them together was news to them all.

They walked into the apollo cabin and they cheered when she walked inside of the room.

She laughed, a blush spreading over her cheeks as she listened to the cheers of her coming in.

Daisy loved her cabin. She had never felt a home like the camp before and they all meant a lot to her.

A little blonde boy rushed up and she pulled him in for a hug.

"How was college Daisy?" He asked, looking up at her.

He was the closest thing she had to a little brother. She had been the one to bring him here and she looked after him fiercely.

"Good Will, its nice there," she said.

She couldn't tell any of them how lonely it felt sometimes, being the only demigod there. Always watching her back to make sure there weren't any monsters.

"I don't get to see you enough," Luke said, leaning against the empty bunk bed. He knew the top one was hers.

She shrugged, a sad smile on her face, "You see me often enough,"

"You don't come back enough, I agree," Will said, walking closer to Luke.

Luke smiled, leaning down and ruffling the kids hair, "Thanks for standing up for me kid,"

"Where's Lee and Michael?" She asked, changing the subject.

"They're somewhere, dealing with the new kid who just joined," Luke explained.

"Very nice," Daisy said, looking at Will, "You should tell me all about what's happened since summer,"

He started talking and then Luke looked down at his watch. He really needed to talk to her.

"Actually, can i borrow her for a minute Will, I need to talk to her," he said.

He had a solemn tone to his voice and she knew that meant that something was wrong.

She worried about him all the time. She didn't want something bad to happen, for those nightmares to take affect him him.

Will nodded and then Luke turned to Daisy, "Can we go for a walk?"

He was serious. Too serious. Her smile faded, "Sure,"

There was silence between the two as they walked through the woods, muscle memory taking them to their favourite spot.

When she saw the lake, she remembered all of her best memories that occurred here. Her eighteenth birthday party.

The moment she realised she loved Luke.

It was here, at this very lake and now, as she sat down next to him on that very same log, she knew something was wrong.

There was a prolonged silence. It was awkward and neither knew what to say and that was new for them. They were always comfortable around one another so what changed?

"You okay?" She asked, looking over at him.

He shook his head, silent. There was this moment where he looked like he was going to say it but he didn't.

His Adams apple bobbed as he fought back the urge to tell her everything. He had to be careful with what he was going to say.

"You gotta tell me what's going on here," Daisy said after a while. She couldn't wait for him forever.

He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see her reaction, "I had another one of those dreams,"

She scoffed, "Luke. I told you not to listen to those," she said, almost scolding him.

These dreams had been occurring for years, ever since he was 17 and went off on that quest his dad sent the two of them on.

She could remember him afterwards. She had been injured but his internal problems were worse than anything she sustained.

Daisy had told him that those dreams were dangerous, that he should tell Chiron but he had ignored her ever since; his pride was getting the better of him.

"They're making sense. They all make sense," he tried to explain.

He reached over, hand on her knee as he tried to convince her that these were right.

She shook her head, "They don't. He's trying to manipulate you,"

She was desperate at this point, trying to reason with him. Nothing good would happen if he kept on going the way he was.

Daisy couldn't lose the man she loved. She had lost so much in her life and he was the only one that stuck around. She loved him, even if he didnt feel the same.

"He is right, our parents don't care about us," he said.

She scoffed at his incredulous statement, "I could have told you that," she knew they didn't care but that wasn't reasoning for war.

He reached forward and took her hands in his. Only then did she realise that she hadn't been looking at him.

Luke rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and she looked up at him, eyes meeting his. She could see the vulnerability in his face - he really thought he was doing something important.

Her face blushed a little bit at the intimacy of the moment, her hands in his, his eyes locked on hers.

"Come on Des, this is it, this is our time to take charge of our future," he begged, desperate.

This was Lukes moment to achieve everything in his life that he had wanted. But the other thing he wanted was the girl in front of him.

He couldn't let her down.

"Don't listen to him," she begged, feeling the tears burning up behind her eyes at the thought of losing him.

He brushed his thumb over her hand again, trying to sooth her as he heard the break in her voice, "I should. He's right about everything,"

He wasn't looking at her. He couldn't bare to see the pain in her eyes.

"Luke," she begged.

He looked up at her now, seeing the tears welling up in her waterline. She never cried so to see her like that meant that this was important to her.

"Please, listen to me." He asked, desperate to get his point across, "He wants me to take something from the God's and I'm going to do it,"

Her heart pounded in her chest. This could completely ruin his life and the world. She couldn't let that happen.

"Promise me you won't," she begged.

He hated seeing her like this, "I have to," he muttered, voice breaking.

"Prmoise me you won't. You're my best friend Luke, promise me," Daisy was desperate. She had to stop him.

He watched the tear slip from her eye and roll down her cheek. Luke reached up, the pad of his thumb brushing across her cheekbone.

"Okay, for you," he said, hand staying on her cheek, "I promise,"

She pulled him in for a hug, holding his against her for a little while.

Daisy wanted to believe him, she wanted to hope that he would stick to his promise and maybe it was the rose coloured glasses that prevented her from seeing the truth.

"I won't let anything happen to you, ever," he promised, words muffled as he spoke them into her shoulder.

He pulled away, brushing a strand of hair away from her face so that it was behind her ear.

"Okay," she muttered, hoping that this was all real. That he wouldn't hurt her because why would he?

The nightmares that she had after his quest came back that night.

The image of the man in the middle of the woods came back again, cloacked in darkness, covered in fear.

She woke up in a sweat, eyes pooled with tears. She didn't know that this was the start of the end for her, that this man would ruin her life.

Daisy closed her eyes and tried to fall back asleep in blissful ignorance about what was soon to come.

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in-death-we-fall · 2 months

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Out Of The Shadows

Since his shock exit from Slipknot, Joey Jordison has remained silent. For the first time, he opens up about the split, the debilitating condition that left him unable to walk, and how he's been reborn anew

Words: Dom Lawson • Pics: Travis Shinn

Metal Hammer 285 - August 2016 (google drive link) Full disclosure I pasted the main article from Metal Hammer's awful awful website because my hands are sad (from doing things like this, yes. Don't keep doing things if they hurt, yes even if you're super super excited about a guy.)

There is life after death. First, there’s Hell.

When the news first broke that Joey Jordison was no longer in Slipknot, it sent shockwaves around the world. Here was this icon of our world and one of the founding members of one of the greatest bands to emerge in all of 30 years suddenly, inexplicably gone. In the heavy wake of Paul Gray’s passing it seemed almost too great a blow for any band, even one with nine members. Anyone who knows their travails understands that they’re less a band and more like a dysfunctional family – had their problems caught up with them? But reappear they did, to the sound of a rapturously received album, and the three-ring circus of Knotfest, and yet still questions remained about the circumstances of Joey’s departure. Slipknot were tightlipped, and Joey? It was anyone’s guess.

I’m humbled to say that we now have Joey’s side of the story, and this month’s world-exclusive journey to Des Moines is one of the most powerful, saddening and inspirational stories you’ll read in these pages. Sure, there are the new records – Vimic and Sinsaeneum (sic) herald one of our world’s greatest musicians returning to the fold and from the sound of things we’ve some tremendous records ahead of us.

More importantly though, we have one of metal’s greatest figures back, and we couldn’t be more delighted to see him back on his feet – literally. To read Dom Lawson’s tale of a man who’s truly been there and back again, see p.38. Make sure you’re sitting down, because Travis Shinn’s remarkable photography is as stark as it it worth not one, but over 3,000 words.

Thank you for reading, and… Stay metal! Alex, Editör-In-Chief

Out Of The Shadows

Words: Dom Lawson • Pics: Travis Shinn

Joey Jordison unmasked: the ultimate interview

Part One - Revelation

“This is very important to me. You’re getting something that I have not told anyone. It’s very emotional. It’s fucking hardcore, man.”

Joey Jordison has got a few things to get off his chest. More importantly, the world has got a few questions for the erstwhile Slipknot alumnus and the 21st century’s most celebrated percussive polymath, not least because he has been resolutely off the radar for the last few years.

The last time Metal Hammer spoke directly to Joey, he was promoting his then-newly-formed band Scar The Martyr, who released their self-titled debut album in September 2013. Three months later, he was seemingly dismissed from Slipknot, the band he had enjoyed huge global success with ever since they exploded into our world back in 1999.

Since that startling news broke in December 2013, Joey has been conspicuous by his absence from our ears, eyes and screens. This being the age of endless social media speculation, his disappearance and departure from Slipknot have been widely discussed online, one commonly espoused theory being that the diminutive drummer had gone spectacularly off the rails and was simply unable to fulfill his usual duties, thus prompting his bandmates’ decision to effect an unexpected lineup change.

In truth, only Joey’s closest friends and business associates know what he’s been up to for the last couple of years, but as he warmly greets Hammer at the door of the house he shares with girlfriend Amanda in Des Moines, it’s immediately apparent that today’s interview is much more than just an opportunity to herald the arrival of not one, but two new bands and Joey’s wholesale return to action. Instead, this is what he describes as “an opportunity to tell everyone what the fuck has been going on”. And it’s almost certainly not what anyone is expecting.

“It was at the end of the memorial shows we did for Paul,” Joey begins, referencing the death of bandmate Paul Gray and the subsequent world tour that began in the summer of 2011 and continued until August 2012. “We were in Canada, at the end of my last run of shows with Slipknot, and something happened to me but I didn’t know what it was. I was super ill. You can be sick and still play, but this was something I’d never felt in my life before.

“We found out that what I have is acute transverse myelitis. It’s a neurological condition that hits your spinal cord and it wiped my legs out completely. It’s like having your legs cut off, basically. I played those last couple of shows and it scared the living shit out of me. I didn’t know what it was. Everyone thought I was fucked up, but it wasn’t the case. I wasn’t even drinking. Everything was straight-laced and fucking perfect. Everything was on point. But I had to be carried to the stage…”

Joey pauses, wincing at the memory. “The pain was something I’d never experienced in my life before, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

When he arrived home from the Slipknot tour, Joey could barely walk. On August 21, 2012, he was admitted to Mercy West hospital in Des Moines, diagnosed with some form of leg paralysis but unaware of exactly how or why this was happening to him. Ten days later, he was transferred to the neurological unit at University Of Iowa Hospital in Iowa City, understandably terrified and extremely confused about his physical deterioration.

“It was fucking bad, dude,” he recalls. “My lady has everything documented. I got struck with this fucking thing that I couldn’t control. The doctors said I might not be able to walk again. Today, I can almost run, but back then I couldn’t even stand up. I was bed-ridden. If I wanted to turn over in bed, I had to move my legs with my hands. I was in and out of the hospital for months.

“Some beautiful people have helped me out and got me back stronger and taught me how to walk again, but at that moment my whole life was screwed, man. Acute transverse myelitis is a fucked-up disease and a lot of people don’t recover from it and they’re paralysed forever.”

After having braces fitted to prevent his weakened legs from buckling, Joey was finally discharged from hospital in October 2012. Thus began an extremely lengthy, challenging and physically exhausting regime of physical and occupational therapy, as Joey tried to summon the energy and determination to beat the bizarre neurological condition that had wrenched the carpet from under his feet and left him both horribly vulnerable and understandably bewildered.

Early in 2013, work began on Scar The Martyr’s debut album, as a further batch of Slipknot shows in Japan and Europe – including a headline slot at Download – loomed over the horizon. Still recovering from the worst of his illness, Joey somehow managed to recover to the point where he was able to perform at those gigs, after which he threw himself wholeheartedly into launching Scar The Martyr by hitting the road as main support to Danzig in the US.

All the while, of course, his global army of admirers remained entirely in the dark about the turmoil and trials going on behind the scenes. It was widely noted that Joey was looking overweight and far from healthy during Scar The Martyr’s debut UK tour, but the conclusions that most people were jumping to – in essence, that he had a problem with drugs and/or drink – were completely off target. Unfortunately, when Slipknot announced on December 12, 2013, that they were to forge ahead without their talismanic drummer, those rumours seemed to gain a little extra momentum.

“Yeah, and that’s why I love being able to do this interview, because finally I get to tell the fucking truth!” Joey declares. “It’s been really frustrating, but I can only bless the people that have been around me and helped me to get back to this point. And this is what I want to clarify for my fans…” – he punches his hand to emphasise the importance of this statement – “…it had nothing to do with fucking drugs or fucking alcohol!”

Several times during our interview, Joey’s eyes fill with tears. It’s abundantly clear that the extraordinary effort required to confront acute transverse myelitis and doggedly chase a light at the end of a seriously dark and bleak tunnel has taken a lot out of him, particularly on an emotional level. But now that he is about to click into top gear once again, via new bands Vimic and Sinsaenum, Joey is channeling his energies towards a cathartic clearing of the decks, and setting people straight about his life over the last five years is top of the agenda.

“Life takes you on weird trips and you just have to hold on, ride the wave and be as strong as you fucking can,” he shrugs. “I’ve been through so much fucking shit over the last few years and people just don’t know.”

Part Two - Struggle

The news that Joey had seemingly been sacked from Slipknot came as a huge shock to everyone, even without the additional knowledge of his devastating health problems. From the band’s enormous fanbase, through to many of us in the metal world that have always known him to be, at the very least, a wholly dedicated and passionate member of that 18-legged, arena-smashing entity, it was a wildly unexpected turn of events.

The band’s own public statements at the time took a predictably passive course, the relatively benign implication being that Joey and his former comrades were simply heading in different creative directions and could no longer work together effectively.

On January 2, 2014, he made his own statement on Facebook, making it plain that as far as he was concerned, there was no mutual agreement and he had been fired from Slipknot for reasons unknown.

“I was laying in bed with my lady, I’d been in rehabilitation for my health issues but everything was good, and the next thing I know…” he pauses, visibly upset. “No band meeting? None. Anything from management? No, nothing. All I got was a stupid fucking email saying that I was out of the band that I busted my ass my whole life to fucking create, you know?

“It was the weirdest fucking thing. I can’t imagine just sending Corey or Shawn or Mick a fucking letter, without a band meeting. We’re friends and we’ve been through so much shit together, but that was all it was, a fucking letter. That’s exactly what happened and it was hurtful, man. I didn’t deserve that shit after what I’d done and everything I’d been through.”

In light of revelations about his state of health at the time, it does seem an unusually abrupt way to bring such a longstanding partnership to an end. Joey even claims to have written and demoed a batch of new material, aided by Slipknot’s then-touring bassist Donnie Steele, and circulated it among his bandmates in an attempt to get the compositional ball rolling. But, according to the drummer, no one got back to him to discuss the new songs: subtle evidence, perhaps, that wires were distinctly crossed.

“They got confused about my health issues, and obviously even I didn’t know what it was at first,” Joey sighs. “They thought I was fucked-up on drugs, which I wasn’t at all. I don’t blame them for being concerned, but when you’re friends and you’ve been through so much stuff, you fucking talk to each other. But I harbour no bad feelings toward them at all, because I’ve moved on with my life. I’m happier than I’ve been in years. You need to move on, close the fucking chapter and, in the end, it is what it is.”

It is a testament to the positive way Joey has endeavoured to overcome his severe health problems that today, even after having been unceremoniously ejected from one of the biggest metal bands on the planet, he is hearteningly sanguine about the way things have turned out.

During our conversation, he repeatedly declares how grateful he is for the friends, family and life that he has, and even when discussing the end of his tenure as Slipknot’s drummer, he is eager to state how much he still loves and admires his former bandmates. What is perhaps more surprising is that Joey not only made a point of checking out .5: The Gray Chapter, the album Slipknot made without him and released in 2014, but is also effusive in his praise for it.

“Honestly, I have a long history with those guys, so I give them the respect they deserve and I listened to the whole record multiple times,” he smiles. “And I think it’s great! It’s fucking cool and I’m glad they moved on. I’m not like, ‘I’m not gonna give them respect!’ – I’m not a coward like that. I’m glad they’re carrying on the name, because what’s important is the fans. There’s no stupid battle going on. There’s no point in saying, ‘Fuck them!’

“No, I’ve been through so many things with those guys and I love them very much. What’s hurtful is that the way it [being fired] went down was not fucking right. That’s all I want to say. The way they did it was fucking cowardly. It was fucked up. But the love in my heart for those guys, that stays the same.”

It is at this point that Metal Hammer asks the inevitable and unavoidable question: despite everything that has happened, would Joey be willing to rejoin Slipknot further down the line? As much as his successor, Jay Weinberg, has acquitted himself brilliantly while filling the shoes of a contemporary drumming legend, it’s hard to deny that most Slipknot fans would be beside themselves with joy if Joey were to return to the fold. He takes a deep, measured inward breath and fixes us with a stern stare…

“Let me think about how to answer that, because it’s a big one,” he nods. “Honestly, I’m not trying to be dramatic, but if that was brought up, what I’d want to do would be to get together. Not just have a phone call or some stupid email. I’d want to see them, just hug it out and feel that energy that we had when we were fucking young and hungry and all that shit. They’re my brothers. We’d hug and talk and do shit like we used to do. We used to sit up all night long planning this shit and what we wanted to do. So that’s how I’d wanna do it. It’d have to be in person. If it happened, that would be fucking awesome, but only time will tell.”

Part Three - Rebirth

Back in the here and now, Joey Jordison is well on his way to being fighting fit once again. His recovery is still ongoing, of course, and daily trips to see his trainer at the local gym have now become an essential part of his day-to-day schedule, but as he speaks, he radiates sincere positivity. That said, the effort it has taken Joey to get from suddenly and horrifyingly being robbed of the use of his legs to a point where he is able to unveil two brand new albums with different bands is etched into his subtly expressive face.

He and better half Amanda have kept a detailed scrapbook of photos and other memorabilia from the long, hard road back from the onset of transverse myelitis. They allow us to leaf through it, and it brings the jarring reality of Joey’s last few years vividly to life. It’s a litany of woes, pain and frustration that many of us would regard as insurmountable, but even when faced with yet another grim obstacle, when he fell and broke his leg while in the studio recording Vimic’s debut album in the autumn of 2014, leading to his leg being cut in half and the insertion of steel rods and bolts, Joey’s determination to prevail and come back stronger than ever has been unwavering.

“I did question everything, like, ‘What am I going to do?’, not knowing if I was going to recover,” he admits. “It hurt a lot. It was a big question. But there was a definite point where I thought about all the blessings I’ve been given in life, being part of Slipknot and playing with Korn and Ministry and Rob Zombie and doing Roadrunner United and all those things, and you look at that and you’re grateful, and so you bust your ass to get back. I didn’t feel sorry for myself. I do not quit. I’ve got fans I’ve got to take care of, you know? So there’s no hiding right now.”

If you want to know what the opposite of hiding sounds like, you need only lend an ear to either or both of the new records that Joey is releasing this summer. The first is Echoes Of The Tortured, the debut album from Sinsaenum, Joey’s collaboration with Dragonforce’s Frédéric Leclercq and a host of underground luminaries. A monstrous but eminently accessible death metal record, its jaw-shattering eruptions of blastbeats and epic fury showcase the full extent of Joey’s physical recovery in no uncertain terms.

The second is Open Your Omen, the first album from Vimic, which is essentially Scar The Martyr with a new vocalist, former Korn percussionist and back-up singer Kalen Chase. It’s a sharper, more focused record than its (sort of) predecessor, planting Joey firmly back in belligerent mainstream metal territory, with plenty of the huge hooks and irresistible riffs that his loyal fans will be feverishly anticipating. But beyond the new music itself, Joey’s true focus is on the unparalleled joy he is currently experiencing as he escapes the nightmare of the last few years and returns to what he does best.

“This is a rebirth, and reaching this point is the ultimate reward,” he states. “It’s like having the ultimate trophies, having these two bands. These opportunities are coming back to me and it feels like a complete renewal. These are real bands, not side-projects. Everything I do goes at 100%… maybe even 666%, ha ha!

“At a certain age, a lot of people] become vegetarians or they find religion, but I’m never gonna stop being a fucking weirdo and a fucking metalhead! You wake up one day and you realise that nothing’s ever gonna change and you’re fucking committed. I’ve been like that since I was five years old, man.

“Right now, I just want to keep creating. These bands are two huge fucking journeys for me. It’s like when you see a rollercoaster that you’ve never ridden before, and you’re fucking scared, but you’re in line and waiting, like I am now, and then once you step on? You’re in!”

There are a few lessons to be learned from the story of Joey Jordison’s last few traumatic years. Firstly, maybe we should all be slightly less eager to jump to hasty conclusions when faced with only one side of a story (or, indeed, no verified information whatsoever). Secondly, never underestimate the strength, persistence, passion and potential of the human spirit.

“The most pertinent lesson of all, however, is one we all should have learned a long time ago: Joey Jordison is an unstoppable force of nature and, after fighting the toughest battle of his entire life, he’s primed and ready to make up for lost time and to remind the world that loud, angry, fucked up and furious music remains the best medicine of all.

“I have this weird-ass condition, but it doesn’t limit me and I’m getting better all the time,” he concludes with a confident grin. “I can play just as fast, or faster, than I ever have. Everything is fucking cool and I’m at the gym every day and it’s all going well. That helps me out so much.

“I went through some serious fucking shit. People didn’t know and I can’t blame them for that. But the thing is, you get up in the morning and you look in the mirror, and then you go off and fucking do it. You live your life the way you want to, and get the work done! What else can I say, dude? It’s good to tell my story. I’m fucking back and I’m ready to go full force. This is the best fucking job in the world. I’m never gonna stop.”

What Is Transverse Myelitis?

We spoke to Lew Gray, secretary of UK charity the Transverse Myelitis Society, to understand what Joey’s batling…

Can you explain what the condition means? Lew: “Transverse myelitis is an inflammation of the spinal cord. You have a lot of nerves doing different things in your spinal cord, so the facts of each case depend on which part of the spinal cord is affected. It can be high in the spinal cord affecting the arms, or you may struggle to breathe because the muscles in your lungs don’t work. It could be lower, affecting different sensory nerves. Some people with transverse myelitis can walk but can’t feel the floor beneath their feet, or they can’t feel hot and cold or pain. We think there are about 250 cases a year in the UK.”

Does it typically come on quickly or is it more of a gradual process? “It can be either. A lot of people are paralysed within an hour or two. But then for other people it can be very gradual and come and go over a period of months. It takes some people years to get a diagnosis.”

What treatment is available? “Really, the only treatment is to dose you with steroids. They will reduce the inflammation, and therefore you’re not curing it, you’re minimising the damage until it goes away by itself. Physiotherapy is very important. Almost everyone gets some spontaneous recovery over time after transverse myelitis, but the body and mind ‘forget’ how to use muscles and nerves that are not working, so the purpose of neurophysiotherapy is to ‘guide’ the recovery.”

What is the long-term prognosis for someone with transverse myelitis? “The nerves are capable of regenerating themselves. Nobody can predict though how well they will regenerate, how long it will take, or if they will at all. The majority of people get improvement, but there is no cast-iron guarantee.”

How common are relapses? “We do know people who have had recurrences, however that is rare. Sometimes a reoccurrence of transverse myelitis leads to a diagnosis of MS [multiple sclerosis].”

For more on the Transverse Myelitis Society, visit www.myelitis.org.uk

Beating The Odds

How Joey Jordison fought his way back from paralysis to prosperity

The full extent of Joey’s arduous battle with acute transverse myelitis is brought into sharp focus when we visit Absolute Performance Therapy in Waukee, Des Moines. Joey spent months here, working on his recovery, and the mere fact that today he is able to walk through the front door without assistance speaks volumes about what he has achieved. His therapist, Alyssa Subbert, has nothing but praise for his determined approach.

“Being stubborn helped the most!” she laughs. “To go from being someone who could do anything to not being able to get out of a chair, then to get back to being able to do everything again, it was a huge process. He wanted to drum again so bad, and as long as we made every exercise about drumming, he’d do it. He was very stubborn and very ornery, but he’d work and work until his body was too sore.”

Gruelling physical work aside, it is obvious that Joey’s time at APT was also hugely emotional. He hasn’t been back since finishing his treatment, and there are tears as he and Alyssa recall the intense therapy sessions and ferocious perseverance and teamwork that were needed to make each successive triumph a reality along the way.

“This was a huge wake-up call to Joey’s health and lifestyle, and how physical his job is,” Alyssa states. “When you’ve done something like that forever, you have no concept of it. He has to play in a drum set that rotates and goes upside down?! It’s not a regular job, sitting at a computer. We even practised mobbing him! Does he have balance when a whole bunch of people mob him, you know? It’s a whole different life, and very physical. So this was a completely unique process we went through.”

Joey’s physical therapy may be over, but his daily trips to local gym Life Time Athletic are an essential part of his recovery, not to mention his ability to play drums with the power and skill that fans have come to expect. His personal trainer, Caleb Herman, is a Slipknot fan who’s full of admiration for his client’s dedication.

“When Joey came in, he could hardly walk,” Caleb recalls. “Now he’s pressing 700lbs and he can do a step above what most people can do. He’s got one of the strongest back muscle groups I’ve ever seen. He couldn’t stand without help, but now he can stand up by himself, so his progress has been awesome. When he sees progress, he becomes motivated, and he tells me he gets the chills, and that gives me the chills. It’s really exciting to see him get to this point.”

Battle Of The Bands

After a long absence from our world, Joey’s returning with two new projects. But how do Vimic and Sinsaenum stack up against each other?

Vimic

Members: Joey Jordison (drums), Kalen Chase (vocals), Matt Tarach (keyboards), Jed Simon (guitar), Kyle Konkiel (bass). Sound: Crunchy, state-of-the-art modern metal with big, anthemic melodies and plenty of snotty aggression. Image: Lots of black leather, long hair, beards and menacing scowls. Sample lyric: ‘Simple skeletons, playing God again/We’re getting higher, we’re getting higher, and the truth will set us free’ (Simple Skeletons). Drumming: Lashings of classic Joey, from that Slipknot stomp and big, muscular grooves to bursts of high-velocity blasting. Joey says: “Scar The Martyr was the blueprint, but we wiped the slate clean. This is heavy shit. Kalen killed it on this record.” For fans of: Slipknot, Disturbed, Fear Factory. Check out: Earth Stood Still. Lurching, syncopated grooves and soaring, post-grunge melodies collide in a brutish, multi-tempo anthem that deftly showcases singer Kalen’s versatility.

Sinsaenum

Members: Joey Jordison (drums), Frédéric Leclercq (guitar), Heimoth (bass), Attila Csihar (vocals), Sean Zatorsky (vocals), Stéphane Buriez (guitar). Sound: Epic, imperious, blackened death metal with tons of eerie atmosphere. Image: Classic, dark, extreme metal attitude with a dash of theatrical corpse paint and a blood-splattered logo. Sample lyric: ‘We are the pain inside your head/We are the sorrow in your soul/We are the fire/We are the rusty nails’ (Army Of Chaos). Drumming: A masterclass in death metal precision and power. Proof that Joey is back and blazing. Joey says: “Sinsaenum is probably one of the most extreme and proficient bands I have ever been in. These guys are fucking on point at all times. We’re a fucking army!” For fans of: Morbid Angel, Dimmu Borgir, Behemoth. Check out: Inverted Cross. It’s blistering, heads-down death metal grandeur with anti-Christian lyrics, fret-melting solos and countless warped twists and turns.

Sin City

As well as making his comeback with Vimic, Joey Jordison’s taken up the drum stool for death metal project Sinsaenum. Mastermind and Dragonforce bassist Frédéric Leclercq explains how it came thundering to life

Words: Dayal Patterson

While Vimic represents a beefed-up reboot of Scar The Martyr, Joey’s also been behind the kit for a second, brand new band - Sinsaenum. The brainchild of Dragonforce bassist Frédéric Leclercq, it’s a more murky blend of death and black metal, featuring the twosome alongside some of the leading lights of the extreme scene, including dual vocals from Mayhem’s Attila Csihar and Dååth’s Sean Zatorsky. We asked Frédéric what the supergroup have planned for their dark future.

How did Sinsaenum first come about? Frédéric: “Oh Christ, even I have trouble remembering when it started! I always wrote death metal songs. I started to write in 1998, then I was doing something else [he played in the French bands Memoria and Heavenly], and I’m still doing something else, with Dragonforce. The first person I spoke to was Stéphane [Buriez, guitar] from Loudblast. It must’ve been in 2010 that we said, ‘Let’s really do something about it.’”

How did Joey get involved? “I kept writing more songs, and one day in 2013 I got a text from Joey. We call each other ‘Morbid Angel” – don’t ask why – so the text said, ‘Morbid Angel, what you up to?’ I was like, ‘Well, I just got back from tour… talking about Morbid Angel, I have these death metal songs.’ He was like, ‘You should send them to me!’ Two days later, he came back like, ‘Fuck yeah, that’s really cool. Who’s playing drums? I want to do it.’ So I started to ask more people that I had in mind.”

How did you guys meet? “We did the Mayhem tour together in the US, in 2008. One day drinking we were talking about death metal, and then we got to talking about it more and more. That’s how you get to know people – you find what you have in common. We had drinking and Morbid Angel.”

What about the other guys? “Stéphane I’ve known for 20 years. I played in a band in my hometown, Charleville-Mézières, and we supported his band, Loudblast. They were a big influence, and the first death metal band I heard. We kept in touch because France is a small country when it comes to metal. With [bassist] Heimoth from [French black metal band] Seth, it’s the same – there’s a small metal community. Dragonforce and Mayhem did a festival together, and Attila came onto the bus and said: ‘My son is a fan and would love an autograph – by the way, I’m the vocalist of Mayhem.’ He’s such a nice person – maybe you shouldn’t write that, keep the mystery! Sean and I met when Dååth was opening for Dragonforce in 2009. I really liked his voice and his attitude.”

How much music was written before you started working with them? “When Joey sent that text, all the songs were half-written, because I’ve a tendency to write a song with just a verse and a chorus, maybe a mid-section, because I know the rest is in my head. So when he said, ‘I’m interested,’ I was like, ‘Oh shit, I have to finish the songs!’ I sent out files, because it was clear that people trusted my ‘vision’. They didn’t want to change too much. I had to finalise lyrics with Sean and Attila, and Stéphane contributed to the structure. Joey added some fills. I decided to make it a concept album using interludes like Tiamat, or Pestilence, or even Type O Negative did to create atmosphere, so I had to write those.”

What was it like working with your heroes? “I felt like a kid in a toy store! Being in a studio with Attila singing songs that I wrote, and saying, ‘Oh, you should do this song like [Mayhem’s] De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, and him being like, [adopts a Hungarian accent] ‘OK bro’, it’s like ‘Fuck, this is happening!’ I shouldn’t sound so excited, ‘cause this is black and death metal, but I had a big smile during the whole process – we all did. On Army Of Chaos we have Schmier from Destruction and Mika and Mirai from Sigh. Mika and Mirai are good friends of mine and are doing the big choirs, the choruses… like Sepultura’s Stronger Than Hate [from 1989’s Beneath The Remains]. I remember reading the booklet as a kid… they had the guys from Obituary and Atheist on it, and I was like, ‘Fuck, that’s cool.’ And it’s Schmier who’s singing on the last pre-chorus.

Did Joey’s health battles affect Sinsaenum? “Not at all. He speaks about it way better than I, so I won’t comment on that. I’ve kept away from all the troubles. I was like, ‘I’m a friend. If you want to talk, I’ll listen, but I just want to make sure you’re happy.’ As far as health problems, he was fine – he killed the drums. I don’t know how he did it, but he said, ‘Dude, I’m on fire.’ He was angry, I guess.”

Will Sinsaenum tour? “It’s definitely something we want to do, but there’s no rush. I want to do everything the same way I lived it as a kid. These bands I loved, I loved their albums, but I didn’t see them live for a long time and it didn’t bother me. I want people to digest the album – there’s a lot of information on there. Plus, we’re all busy; it’s difficult to get us all in a room. We rehearsed before doing the videos, and being in the same room, it was like, ‘Fucking hell.’”

What’s happening with Dragonforce right now? “We’re doing summer festivals and writing the new album that will come out next year, so I have to juggle between doing Sinsaenum stuff and writing and recording with Dragonforce. So my head is about to explode, but that’s fine!”

What do you get from Sinsaenum that you don’t get with Dragonforce? “This is really the music I love. I like Dragonforce stuff, and I write more of it now, but sometimes I don’t agree with all the decisions. With Sinsaenum, from A to Z it is exactly what I want. I guess it’s my baby. It gives me a way to express the dark side of myself and show it to people – if they care or not, that’s another issue!”

Sinsaenum release Echoes Of The Tortured on July 29 via Earmusic

#after ten thousand years here it is #if you want anything else from this issue scanned just lemme know (there's already a couple other pages in the google drive folder)#joey jordison #sinsaenum #vimic #slipknot #metal hammer 285 aug 16 #those photos with the black stuff dripping down his face are truly egregious i am incredibly gay why would metal hammer do this to me #why not give us pictures of all the cats huh??#like yaknow instead of his leg with all the stitches. the other four cats. just sayin #fred is so ae;gihas;kdf;h #interview

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will80sbyers · 2 months

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Ranking some byler moments bc I felt like yapping about them rn:

5) The Rink-o-Mania fight

They both showed that they were paying close attention to the other one, and both knew that there was a problem in their friendship. Mike was dying inside all day long to ask Will why things had changed between them and why Will suddenly stopped reaching out as much as he did even after Will was the one that promised him that it was not possible that he would have left Mike behind...

Mike was so terrified that Will didn't care about him anymore while he spent all the months apart from him feeling sad and like he lost him and feeling crazy because of how much he missed Will...

and Will was feeling so jealous all day long watching him with El and he just wanted to be given attention and appreciation... even just as a best friend, and instead he was feeling like Mike didn't care about him....

but as soon as Mike makes him understand that he was paying attention Will takes the opportunity to ask him why he didn't write to him if he cared, because Will needs reassurance that he's loved too even when he's the first to pull away because he doesn't want to impose his romantic feelings on Mike when he's with his sister still... great Angst™ and I just love their romantic af fights lol

4) when Will makes Mike smile

This very small moment is really sweet to me and we need more moments like this between them, it just shows that they enjoy the company of the other in all aspects from the serious conversations to the rants about random stuff and also when playing around and just having fun and laughing... it's just showing how they are best friends before everything else, they just want to stay side by side because they enjoy the other person completely on all aspects of their personality

3) The crazy together scene

Iconic moment of their relationship, I love when they support each other and in this moment both of them are opening up about their feelings and making a promise to go crazy together... saying that they want to face the future together no matter what others think they are, even if they seem crazy to everyone else they will ALWAYS have the other one that truly understands...

2) Mike's monologue in the shed

SO sweet and honest, the memory of their first meeting is just such an heartwarming memory and it shows the pure love they have and just how deeply Mike feels towards Will, he thinks the best choice he ever made in his life was to ask Will to be in his life because Mike loves him that much, he can't imagine his own existence without Will by his side... Mike's life got better because he met Will.

and Will is just already in love with him and you can see it in his eyes, this is true love that breaks the evil spell on him casted by the dark wizard

1) Will's van speech

I love this moment because I think Will has this deep yearning inside of him about confessing just how deep his own feelings for Mike are and he wants to tell Mike so badly and this is the closest moment to that that I can get for now lmao

plus I love how Mike FINALLY gets told by someone just how amazing of a person he is and sees that he is valuable for all of them as a person, as he is already.

I truly think Mike couldn't avoid falling in love in this moment and he's wishing deep down that Will was the one meaning all of that romantically... even if he doesn't get it and he's confused that's what his heart is making him feel

look at this... he's just falling for Will all at once without even knowing it completely, he has been hit by a truck emotionally

#byler #will byers #mike wheeler #byler moments

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punkeropercyjackson · 17 days

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Todomomo is literally the closest you can get to a autistic4autistic t4t ship without it being canon or intentional.Shouto's dad is an abusive hypermasculine prick who's implied to be misogynistic(teaching Touya his views on women as a kid,that they're 'useless' based off their genders)and Shouto wants to grow up to be the man he never could and refused to be and dosen't care about gender at all,much less conforming to it's roles and gets called a pretty boy a lot and is way closer to his mom and sister than he is to either of his brothers,Momo is the daughter of a rich couple who adultified her to the max in order to make her the ultimate 'proper prim lady' with little regard to her emotions and mental well-being and only care about her when she lives up to their impossible expectations and she had to get that 'I have to be perfect or else i'm WORTHLESS and NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYTHING' mentality from somewhere and it's not like she wasn't isolated from her peers by not being allowed to be a normal kid in any way(her mom didn't even let her go festivals and she had to sneak off on her first one with a fear of her finding out in the back of her head the whole time!That is NOT normal behavior for your child to exhibit,Doña Yaoyorozu!!!)and she presents femininily in a way that's viewed as artificial by assholes but it's just genuinely who she's made herself to be!Shouto explicitly inhereted his mother's build and hates that he keeps looking like his dad as he gets older and Momo's said to look older than her girl classmates even disregard her body type and towers over most teen guys!!!

Shouto has a neutral expression that looks purely deadpan and just a bit angry/annoyed and he's awful at socializing and he's insanely good at flirting with Momo but IT'S NEVER ON PURPOSE and Momo has a resting smiling face as her default look and she gets scandalized at regular teen behavior and she's an expert at navigating social situations with practiced politeness and they both take things literally and don't understand the dumb kind of norms and have a special fondness for a particular food because it gives them comfort(cold soba + tea types)BUT ALSO!!!!They have matching additional food motifs(bubble tea specifically + strawberry based things)and cordinated outfits with their own aesthetics(their sweaters,,,,,,that got turned into a running thing in the games and i believe official art too)and are canon cat people(*insert that 'All cats have autism' pic here*)and Momo is a bookworm while Shouto is a comics nerd and Momo got into alt music thanks to Jirou and has a love for desserts and Shouto writes platonic love letters to Rei and perfers the spicier/savoury kinds of japanese food AND THEN THEIR ACTUAL RELATHIONSHIP

Shouto voted for Momo because he thinks she's the best they're is but didn't verbally communicate it to her because it never occured to him he'd need to and Momo admires Shouto just as much and said it outloud to his face from the start and Aizawa being the only that helps them clear up the mix up?????His old autistic man ass that's married to audhd icon Mic?So Shouto goes into detail to Momo's face too about how cool he thinks she is and that's when they officially becomes friends and he never shuts up about her to anyone from then on,this nigga's new special interest is his best girl friend he's got a crush on,and he did notice she was sad when no one else did in an earlier part but had no clue what to do or say to cheer her up so they spend time together now that they're really buds and they both know just what to say to eachother by the War Arc and Momo finds Shouto being a fucking doofus with geeky ass tendencies and moments she could make a youtube compilation out of it if she was lil meaner to be so attractive she says he's perfect for Prince Charming as a role in a play Class 1-A did in one of the novel's.Izuku broke Shouto out of his ice,Jirou and Mina broke Momo out of her doll shell and now neither of them need to mask but what brought them together was being next to eachother at their worsts and at their bests and only thinking the latter no matter what or who said otherwise.Including themselves

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fernshawart · 1 year

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How Deep Cut doesn't fit the three Buddhism poisons : a small analysis

This has been in my mind for a few days and I need to write something about this.

According to their respective songs, Deep Cut are supposedly written to be representations of the three poisons, but I feel like this doesn't fit them at all. So in this analysis I shall explain why I think it doesn't fit them, and what I believe they truly represent.

To make it simple, the three poisons go like this :

- Snake (Frye) : Hate, Anger, Aversion

- Rooster (Shiver) : Attachement, Greed, Lust

- Boar (Big Man) : Ignorance, Indifference, Confusion

When you just look over these characteristics you may agree with them but let's take a closer look on what I believe doesn't make sense about them.

Let's start with the snake (Hate, Anger, Aversion).

Frye doesn't hate anybody during the story. She literally offers you to join deep cut when she barely knows you. And she doesn't get angry a single time during the story. Not even when she battles you. Look at that ? That's a smile. She's EXCITED to beat you up. Not angry.

If anything, I would argue that her aggressiveness during her entire battle session is because she's just a very competitive person. She enjoys a good challenge. But being territorial is a core part of the inkling identity. That's why splatfests exist, to make sure their desires to fight aren't turned into a war but rather into a healthy rivalry.

Frye has had the opportunity to show genuine anger too, with her loosing streak in the splatfests. But the thing is, even if she's obviously sad about that situation, Frye stayed pretty calm considering everything.

Look at this. Look at Shiver's face compared to Frye. Frye's not angry. She's calm and composed.

Now for the Rooster (Attachement, Greed, Lust). It may be the most fitting of all for a few reasons, but there's still a big problem. Shiver isn't greedy. It's supposed to be a core part of her character, even. She's a bandit because she redistributes her wealth in splatsville, a place that is overall very poor. I know her battle stage is a robbed bank but ... In a sense, robbing a bank may be still part of that Robinhood ideology. Bank owners are some of the wealthiest people around.

She doesn't even have a deep greediness for victory. You can see it in her turf battle dialogue. She's ... Genuinely humble.

If she wins, she compliments you and tells you that she would gladly have a rematch.

If she looses, she tells you that it would be an honor to have a rematch and even talks about redeeming herself. She even explicitly says that the rematch doesn't have to right now, and I feel like if she was greedy for victory she would rush you for it to quickly claim back her victory.

The idea of Attachement, for what I understand, it's more about attachement to an item than a person so I can't say anything to that. But what I do know is that this characteristic, mixed with lust, is the closest concept of the three to the idea of passion and connection to others, which makes it the most redeemable characteristic. But we'll come back to that later.

And finally, The Boar (Ignorance, Indifference, Confusion)... To me, this is the most upsetting comparison. Big man is ANYTHING but ignorant. This isn't ignorant as in stupid, but rather as in "if you are not like me or against me, you don't matter in my eyes."

And the thing is, the simple fact that he is a part of deep cut should be enough to prove that he cares about others.

Look at him. He's not of the same species as them, not even an inkfish, he's far from being humanoid, he's not of the same gender, even if their clans are linked he doesn't have anything that resembles their iconic clothes or earrings ...

Even when it comes to personality, they're very far from each other. He's very calm when the girls get easily excited. He doesn't like violence but battles Neo 3 because he wants to fit in with the girls.

But this is the most important thing of all.

It's all for splatsville. He's doing it for others, for people he probably doesn't even know. Big man is the patriarch of his clan. A leader. His people trust him enough to put him in a position of power where he can care of others. Him being quite literally the worst, almost unredeemable quality of all DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

But there is something else in Buddhism that are opposites to the poisons. The wholesome qualities. Wisdom. Generosity. Loving Kindness. These are the counters to the damage the poisons do. And for some reason ... They fit with the trio perfectly.

Frye is Wisdom. She may not look very intelligent, but this is all an act. Frye isn't stupid. She's having fun and she's being relaxed. She's just like Pearl who we know is silly, but deeply emotionally intelligent when necessary. And funny enough, big foreheads in India are a sign of great wisdom.

Big man is Generosity. The large majority of his actions in-game are based on the fact that he acts for others. He joined the girls because they needed him. He fought for Deep Cut because he knew it was necessary. He's a bandit and takes treasures because he believes it's a necessary for the wellness of all.

Shiver is Loving Kindness. Say what you want about her, but Shiver holds a lot of importance to affection. Remember what she said during the pokemon splatfest ? She wants a partner that she can spend quality time with. She wants something to love. And by saying that, she was looking at Frye.

Deep cut aren't poisons. They're the cure to the poisons. And the worst thing is, they may not even understand it themselves.

#splatoon #character analysis #shiver #frye #big man #splatoon 3 #analysis #deep cut #Buddhism

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canonmisogynyvictimstournament · 8 months

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PROPAGANDA

ALLURA (VOLTRON: LEGENDARY DEFENDER)

1.) Okay so, they really wanted Allura to be a #girlpower icon, but the way that came about is that they basically stripped her from having emotions. She only cries once in the whole show, and it was in the first season (when the show was actually good.) After her one cry she basically becomes a leader figure who doesn’t get to bond much with the other characters. They then decided to pass her around as a romantic interest to three different men. The first one was only set up, but she ends up dating two of them within the show’s short run. The second character they set her up with turns out to have enslaved her people. The third character they set her up with has been shown to be interested in her through the shows run. Despite Allura’s consistent lack of interest, she ends up being pressured into going on a date with him. Despite it being a terrible date (in my opinion) they decide to peruse a relationship. The relationship is terrible and they really only spend time together to rant about their problems. At the end of the season, the very same one where this relationship started, Allura sacrifices herself to save the universe. This stupid fucking decision not only came out of nowhere in terms of in-universe logic, but also that her death is treated as sad because the guy lost his girlfriend. Most of the other characters don’t really morn her, and the guy she was dating just becomes sadly obsessed with the idea of her for the rest of his life. Not really the nice send-off for the #girlboss.

2.) She was given plenty character, but not a lot of things to do narratively speaking.

She wanted to free the Galaxy from tyranny. She's the leader even though she doesn't pilot the black lion. She's can talk to mice. She's kind, and she's among the the last of her kind. Her home planet was destroyed. She kept going even when things looked horrendous. She had to wait 10,000 in stasis sleep before she could fight to protect others. Because her father wanted to protect her and made the wrong decision in not fighting the Galra with Voltron. She had to destroy the AI of her father when he was corrupted in season 1. She had to deal with her Dad dying twice.

She had cool powers like shapeshifting but didn't get to use them often. She starts piloting the blue lion, at season 3. Her father worked with the big bad Zarkon and she is portrayed just to hate him. When it was more like she was completely betrayed by him.

She didn't get alot of interactions with the other cool female characters. Even Pidge who was on her team, which can only form Voltron through teamwork. 8 seasons and they never talk about how how much they miss their families. Pidge's main motivation is finding her father and brother. It would have been perfect. The only time they hangout is to get Allura ready for a date.

She was distrusting of all Galra since there empire wiped out her kingdom. But when she got an arc about learning to not distrust all Galra. It functionally ended with Prince Lotor of the Galra making people batteries out of the survivor's of her kingdom.

Then she was basically relegated to her relationship with Lance's interaction wise. She didn't get many interactions with anyone else she was close to in the season she died. Not even with Coran, the guy put in stasis with her.

For the finale she dies sacrificing herself to restore all realites. She had to give up her new family and her people. She would do that, I just don't think the writers had earned doing that. She deserved a happy ending. She never gets to see that her sacrifice even brought back her planet.

3.) season 8. Season 8. SEASON 8. Allura deserved so much better than an out of nowhere romance arc with Lance and then dying without being able to say goodbye to Coran (her royal advisor, closest friend, and last remaining member of her family and her planet). AND they had her give Altean marks to Lance right before dying, leaving him with a constant reminder of her for the rest of his life!! Why!!!!!!!!! AND THEN THE LIONS FLY BACK INTO SPACE TOWARDS A NEBULA SHAPED LIKE HER, LIKE THE WHOLE FINALE WAS SATISFYING AND NOT A MASTERCLASS IN UNSATISFYING CHARACTER ENDINGS!!!!!! Allura you will always be the confident princess and leader of the rebellion in my heart i am so so sorry season 8 happened to you

MIKAELA BANES (TRANSFORMERS)

1.) mikaela's case is so egregious that i struggle to really properly word any propaganda beyond 'just look at the movie. look at it.' but congrats to mikaela banes for getting in! was thinking of submitting her along with my arcee but couldn't even like. begin to describe it. agh.

best i can really say for her right now is 'open her tfwiki article, open sam's, look at the pictures, compare how they frame the two, you will see what i mean then and there.' but i might do a rewatch of the bayverse transformers movies just to be able to get all my more complex thoughts in order to actually submit a breakdown of her. which is not something i want to do, but if anyone deserves it it's mikaela. she deserved so much better.

2.) She was the female character played by Megan Fox, and Michael Bay wanted to make sure everyone watching knew this was a woman played by megan fox. She is the quintessential "not like other girls" (in fact, this is the second sentence of her wikipedia page - "She is differentiated from "typical" women in her age group, having inherited mechanical skills from her father") who has guy interests, but is still hot and wears crop tops and jean shorts. I remember two things from that movie, Bumblebee and the scene where she is working on the car ~sexily~, which today genuinely seems like a parody, but was included entirely earnestly (I wasn't going to add a picture from this scene, but it was literally the first and third pictures that showed up when i googled her)

3.) Mikaela is so sexualized it's unreal. Like, I feel I really just need to submit this screenshot:

Look at the way she's posed, the way she's dressed, the fact her head isn't in the shot. It's pure objectification, like the kind that should be in textbooks as easy examples. The way it emphasizes both her butt and her boobs but also shows her stomach is just astonishing. God it doesn't even show her FACE. This shot really amazes me, just good god.

And then there's also this famous shot:

It's so aggressively sexy, so much a pose and not at all a way a real human would position themselves. The way her ass is popped out, the way her hair is flipped, jesus christ. Someone needs to put Michael Bay in misogyny jail.

#polls #round 1 #week 2 #new

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aot-brainrot-my-beloved · 18 days

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Since I have nothing better to do, here are my AOT characters' sexualities headcanons (it's my opinion, pls be nice, homophobes DNI)

Probably gonna do it in parts cause there are so many characters LMAO. Also, go and check out my previous [post] about it for context

So anyway, Part 1 - The Scouts under the cut

Eren - demiromantic demisexual

Eren doesn't usually fall for people and doesn't think about romance, but when he does, he falls hard. He doesn't care about gender, he just needs to feel a really close connection to someone to feel anything. Also, he's famously oblivious to flirtations towards him, which is a popular inside joke among Scouts.

Mikasa - unlabeled

She’s very much Erensexual and that’s it LMAO But jokes aside, she really doesn't care and doesn't see a reason in labeling herself (not that it's a bad thing, she just feels like no name would ever truly fit her). What matters to her are her feelings for Eren and all her closest friends and that's enough.

Armin - pansexual

He doesn’t mind in general but he has a problem recognizing his feelings as something more than a friendship or admiration. He acts friendly and normal and then BOOM, that one special spark and, out of nowhere he’s an awkward ball of fluff. I feel like he just wants someone to talk to about the ocean and who will make him feel seen and safe <3

Jean - (closeted) bisexual

Marco was totally his bisexual awakening. Even though he knows nobody in the Scout Regiment will judge him, he's still scared to come out and every time someone asks him, he's very defensive about being straight (nobody believes him) (just look at him, very much chaotic bisexual icon 💅)

Sasha - heteroromantic asexual

Probably an unpopular opinion but I really don’t see her being into girls. I feel like the Scouts were initially surprised about it after seeing her being so close with Mikasa, but they are just besties. She’s sex-repulsed but will laugh at Connie’s dirty jokes. She’s a hopeless romantic though. She and Connie are platonic soulmates <3

Connie - aromantic asexual ❤️

He never got the appeal of romance or sex, and when someone was flirting with him, he felt really uncomfortable. His friends (especially Sasha) have helped him understand and come to terms with his feelings. He's also sex-repulsed but that doesn’t stop him from telling dirty jokes to others. He and Sasha are platonic soulmates <3

Marco - gay

I have nothing else to say other than the fact that I could never see him in any other way. The gay vibes are very strong with this one (just look at how he looks at Jean!!!)

Ymir - lesbian

She knew she was "different" since she was young, but had to hide it very well. Time spent on Paradis with her friends was the best time in her life because she could finally be her authentic self, without having to deal with homophobia and all the religious trauma, but also because she met the love of her life!

Historia - lesbian

I feel like at first she thought she was straight and then she met Ymir and truly realized something about herself. After that, she was proud of her sexuality, until she became the queen and realized how important her role was. Pregnancy was a hard time for her, especially knowing that Ymir was gone. But to not make it too sad I like to think that her husband was an understanding guy and tried to help as much as he could, while still understanding that he will never be the one and only for her 💔

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drowninginredink · 27 days

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How did it take me until April 3, 2024 to realize that Lemony Snicket is absolutely a trans woman and someone needs to get her some E, stat?

- Lemony is always, always, always hiding her face. Well... okay they cut it from Netflix, but in the books and movie, the most iconic thing about Lemony is that in every photograph, she's managed to hide her face. And yes, allegedly that's to hide her identity, but like... Is it? Or is that an excuse and really Lemony just does not like her face because it's too masculine? God knows most pre-transition folks hate being photographed

- Have you seen the way she talks about Beatrice? Have you read that letter from The Beatrice Letters? "Summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you is even colder," "I cherished, you perished, the world's been nightmarished," "When we first met, you were pretty and I was lonely. Now I am pretty lonely." Straight men do not write about women like that. Lesbians do. Especially that letter. Do you think that a straight man wrote "I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you next Tuesday" or "I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory" or "I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry?" Absolutely not. Those are obviously the words of a lesbian.

- Pretty much everyone important in Lemony's life is a woman. All of the people closest to him: Beatrice, Kit, R, Moxie, and Ellington. Sure, he does interact with other people, but those are the 5 closest relationships indicated by the text. Obviously you can be a man with all female friends, but how many times has a "man" always gotten along better with women and ended up not being a man.

- The audiobooks are (mostly) read by Tim Curry, and we all know he plays a pretty famous transsexual

- Lemony strikes me as very self-sabotaging. Now, this is my own opinion. One could believe that all of the mess that Lemony is in is purely VFD's fault. Maybe VFD forced her to take the blame for Olaf's crimes and generally end up buried so deep in accusations that she had to fake her own death and go on the lam. However, I can see an absolutely self-hating Lemony who volunteered to take on the role that she did. Who chose to be the fall guy. And why would she hate herself so much? Dysphoria. A deeply dysphoric and closeted woman who figures that since she isn't happy with herself, she might as well be the one to have her life ruined by the schism. That way all the actually happy and good people don't need to have their potential ruined.

- Similarly, Lemony never actually jumps in to save the Baudelaires, merely writing about them from afar. She is, to put it bluntly, a coward. She tells herself she's doing something to help them, but won't intervene in the way they really need. Why not? Because she's so deep in self-loathing! Again, that could just be because of her failures in life, but like... What if she also hates herself because of repressed dysphoria?

- Lemony is just generally really, really, really, really sad. And look, I know I'm aromantic as hell, but do we really think that's *just* because she lost the love of his life? Or do we think maybe something else is making her that gloomy?

- Look I just really want Lemony to have a way to be happy. And there's no bringing Beatrice back. But. HRT? Sure. I bet there's HRT in the snicketverse. Why not? I take the reading that Beatrice and Bertrand had Violet at like 20, which makes Lemony only like 35. He's 35, and yet she's completely given up on life. She is just a shelll of a person. She doesn't actually interact with anyone and spends all her time researching terrible things that happen. She's too young to be resigned to misery. I want Lemony to have a way to be reborn and find some form of happiness again. Thus, I would like to blame some of her misery on living as a man, and propose that transition could save her.

- Again. Lemony hates pictures and doesn't like to show her face. Give her some FFS! Stat!

- Come on. Beatrice and Lemony are an iconic couple. You cannot tell me that if given the choice, you want them to be M/F when they could be F/F

Okay. I rest my case. Now to submit to @couldtransitionsaveher

#lemony Snicket #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #snicketverse #trans headcanon #trans fem headcanon #trans femme headcanon

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theneighborhoodwatch · 28 days

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starflower (Julie and Sally) ? They’re one of my favorites !! 🌸 ☀️

(send me a character/ship to hear my thoughts)

when or if I started shipping it: in a universe two doors down from this one i could see myself getting into it - but alas, we do not live in that universe.

my thoughts: it's certainly cute! i just wish i had more thoughts about it than that :,D a slightly saltier part of me grumbles that the only reason this ship is so popular is bc sally and julie are the only two femme-presenting characters who are Relatively humanoid in terms of design and poppy gets brushed off bc she's "supposed to be the mom friend" even though sally interacts with her Just as often if not even moreso -- but i would be a fool to truly turn against another yuri soldier. TL;DR: i think starflower shippers should be allowed to do whatever they want forever, but alas, my enthusiasm lies elsewhere for now.

What makes me happy about them: despite what i said in the last paragraph, i do think this ship comes the closest to capturing a very specific euphoric experience that a lot of sapphics i know (myself included) experienced when they were like 10-12: roleplaying a super intense dramatic storyline with your friend who you kinda had a crush on using OCs that you made up that same day. i do think this pairing in particular would make for a KILLER princess bride au. "oh because julie and buttercup are both iconic blondes-" no, no. listen. sally is buttercup. julie is the goofier westley who gets a butchy makeover when she comes back as the dread pirate roberts. you can't change my mind.

What makes me sad about them: the fact that they're so sillygoofy now makes me SCAREDDDDD for how things will fare between them when shit gets real. i feel like i've said that for every ship but like, every pairing i've gotten so far has a specific Dynamic that is just as threatened by this as any other, and sally and julie's dynamic in particular is "boke and boke-who's-convinced-that-she's-a-tsukkomi." can such an iconic comedic duo survive such trials? only time will tell....

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: not much! fics that center around this pairing tend to be pretty well-written, i just don't have much thoughts on the ship itself.

Things I look for in fanfic: see above.

My kinks: ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i mean, you know i'm a popstar gal right now. as for julie... hmm.... i've read some pretty cute julie/howdy fic, but i don't know if i'd say that means i Ship them? like starflower, i think it's just a ship that attracts skilled writers lol.

My happily ever after for them: i will leave this to someone more invested in the ship than myself to write.

#anonymous #ask #welcome home #sally/julie #julie/sally #starflower

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nosolaceofastraightanswer · 11 months

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hello everyone!! i'm the person who ran the TUA color polls for each of the seven siblings over the last few weeks. sorry it took so long but i'm here with results! i'm going to have charts first because they are flashy, easy to look at an understand, and also won't make the post too long above the keep reading :DD without further ado, the results of the poll: "Which color do you associate with [Hargreeves]?" !!

[keep in mind that the labels are above the charts, and viktor's may be hard to read because the chart maker i used only had a white background- same if you're on dark mode i apologize]

analysis and words under here if you're interested lol :D it’s basically me just rambling for WAY TOO LONG about analysis lmao

okay so going into this, my hypothesis was that everyone’s colors were more or less determined by their s2 outfits. the fashion was iconic and stood out a lot, so it was very likely to stick in people’s brains.

my personal choices in order of siblings are: blue, orange, yellow, pink, green, red, and blue again. i chose green for five because of like.. chalkboards? i feel like he gives the green vibes y’a know? for the rest it was mostly determined by outfits and vibes etc.

but i’m sure nobody wants to hear me talk about my own opinions for too long [afterall, i didn’t even vote in the polls to keep them unbiased as possible] so here’s my analysis of YOUR choices

blue green and yellow were all the top choices for luther, which makes sense to me. blue ended up winning. they’re all generally cooler colors. when i think of luther i think of less stand-out colors, something solid and steady. blue is the most popular favorite color. it has a lot of range, just like luther. he wears it a lot throughout the seasons. blue is associated (not to bring color theory onto the color theory website or anything) with a feeling of sadness, and also responsibility. i really see him as a very tragic character tbh, à la s1 characterization.

diego was surprising to me, because even though my prediction of orange was correct there was a large amount of black in play. red was third after that. i don’t see it as that surprising considering his outfit from s1 lmao. let’s be honest they’re all emo anyways. red and orange are both associated with fire. diego probably would do arson if he thought he was doing the right thing. red is very agressive of a color, but orange is seen as a little less in your face. it can represent change too. but all in all, i think that it was chosen most often because of his orange and black polka dot shirt from s2. slay ig

allison was surprising to me at first, because i didn’t expect so much purple. i think that the pink might be because she’s a girl though. the red is what confused me the most. i would love to hear anyone else’s thoughts because i’m honestly not sure. @creepy-not-crawly (❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️) was talking with me about the polls, and said this about allison having yellow win:

purple is associated with royalty and we all know she’s a queen. ofc, yellow won. we ALL remember that dress from s2. she’s also fairly optimistic for the first two seasons, and s3 largely revolves around her trying to force herself to be happy. yellow is associated with happy, and she was happy when she was with ray and trying to get it back s3. i have a post about the whole tone fuck up from s2/s3 here X so read that if you want!!

alright klaus. green came out (haha get it) in first and i think this one was essentially due to the association of ghosts and supernatural things in general with green. it’s SPOOOOOKY you know? it’s represents change and growth. the guy is trying. also the military is associated with green uniforms (at least in the US), so it can be easily linked back to the vietnam war incident from s1 and his connection to dave.

five had the most votes and it ended up with the closest results to one color taking half the pie. blue won, and red and black followed. i think for the red, it might be because of the metaphorical and literal blood on his hands. as far as i can tell, his powers- some of the most distinctly colored in the show- were a major factor: (credit to @dead-peppermint and @the-time-travelers-admirer in that order)

and his iconic uniform is mentioned as well. (thank god the old man got a change of clothes in s3, manifesting for s4) blue represents responsibility and we all know he has so much on his shoulders (insert joke about how hunched over he was s3 because aiden gallagher has been aging over these past 5 crazy years but he’s supposed to be playing a 13 y o boy). blue is also associated with calm- the man needs some calm in his life, à la that one part of s3. and last of all, sadness. i think most of us remember “HE’S LOVED THEM FOR LONGER THAN THEY’VE BEEN ALIVE” (link post cus i can’t find it) and he spent so long mourning his family, and is probably still mourning them.

og ben is probably the most underrated character imo, so i was excited for this one. i predicted red because of that one scene (UGHHH SO TRAGIC) when he was a kid and covered in blood like “can i go home now” (🥺). my dear mutual @/deadpeppermint from before left these thoughts:

blue and purple tied for first, with red and black in second. honestly the leather jacket? hoodie? thing? and generally emo vibe really lent itself to that lmao. i think purple and blue are also really good colors for him, because he is a king and also responsible as heck (or at least, he tries in comparison). i’m still crying over how he left in s2 ISTG BRING HIM BACKKKK (srsly tho line i want to make a post about his absence affected s3 ughfhfhfhfhfhh) but that brings us back to blue meaning sadness, and oh my lord does this boy represent grief!!! he’s soooooo <3

and finally omg we are at viktor! this graph is fucking hilarious to look at because it just looks empty. the white violin had an association with color, and you could NEVER GUESS which one (sarcasm). i actually forgot about this next was blue, and i think it’s cute that blue was on top three, even top two for 5 6 7. and the. @/deadpeppermint once again with thoughts:

SO TRUE!!

sorry for all of the errors i'm losing my mind.

anyways if anyone (unlikely lmao) has actually read this, or even scrolled down- hi! also goddamn! i hope someone enjoys this post because i have literally postponed so many projects for this weird little side thing. MMMMM DATA. i would make some kind of conclusion, but i'm damn tired and i think that my whole hypothesis kind of worked out! TYSM TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED!! and the people who left thing in the tags or talked to me about it? A MILLION LOVE FOREVER

i plan on doing more analysis in the future, but this is kind of dipping my toe in with a more fandom centered analysis. also! shameless self promotion! this whole thing started because i made a little animatic? thing? and started wondering about the colors because i ended up assigning them. CHECK IT OUT HERE X SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON MR BEAST TIKTOK FORTNITE. anyway. i literally have two other things that have been done for a while which i'll be posting in due time. if anyone is wondering why i haven't been posting art (idk, maybe?) it's because i was holding off on this crazy monster of a post! i'm really excited to make animatics because the music bro it's got me ITS GOT ME THIS DAMN SHOW. i am a self taught beginner artist tho, so i mean be ready for that. (that makes me sound so pretentious STOPP) anyways here! 🎩👑👒🧢 swaggy hats and a 🦉🦋🐞🐠🪿🦜🐁🦔 lil guy to go with it! 🥰🫵 see ya besties ily. i am so ill.

#tua #writingastraightanswer #tuacolorpoll #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #the umbrella academy #guys help me please #holy shit this took me so long #idec anymore i have to get this out

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